#i feel like this is overwhelming hhh f/ck

[violexides]

The DreamSMP Explained (By Someone Who Has Never Watched Any DreamSMP Stream)

cracks knuckles. okay, fucking FINALLY doing this. ahem. 

Couple things to preface with, will keep this brief. 

This isn’t entirely blind. One of my best friends has helped out in places, just because I wanted to hit on everything (accurate or not), and I know mutuals/friends who post and write about DreamSMP (though how much of that is AU or canon-typical, I can’t say. I can’t tell). I’ve never seen a single stream, but I’ve seen a few clips. So, my understanding is a bit more than the title may imply, but still not a lot. Sorry.

Also, this will be very, very long (near 2k words). All under the cut, will TW this with themes of abuse, death, manipulation, unreality, hallucinations, and me having an abrasive sense of humor where I revel in the glee of calling these guys European twinks. Though, speaking of. This is ALL about the actual characters, not the people. I don’t know anything about most of these actual streamers, so, no hate to them. In fact, I think they’re pretty cool for having come up with a… somewhat coherent… narrative, all through using Minecraft as a medium. Anyway.

Sigh. Without further ado, 

So. There’s this place. Made by Philza, AKA God, AKA one of like six different gods. Philza, born from the womb acting like someone’s 43 year old uncle, has three kids. Wilbur, Tommy, and Tubbo. There are other people here, with some scattered ancestry that raises some questions, but I don’t really care who fucked an Enderman and had an 8’0 tall kid (Ranboo DNI).

There are also places! Sometimes! On a good day, there are actual, intact locations. We’ve got hits like “The Badlands”, which I think was taken from about three different dystopian novels I read in third grade, “El Rapids” (Quackity, Subpoena (autocorrect wins this round), and Karl made this one), “Pogtopia”, no comment on this one, and “L’Manberg”, which Wilbur made. 

Only one of these is going to be important.

So, might be a good time to say this: I don’t know what the inciting incident of DreamSMP is? I don’t know what was the catalyst for all this shit, but I’m going to take a guess and say Wilbur blowing up L’Manberg had something to do with it.

… That’s going to be a pattern, by the way. Just. Stick with me here. 

So, Wilbur is an older child who read the Hamlet parts in literature class and can only cope by ripping down the very creations he has and taking the entire world down with him to hell. Which is to say, he throws a pity party after Jschlatt (some bitch who abused Quackity, that’s another trend, yippee) wins an election and decides to blow up the fucking kingdom and kill Jschlatt.

Little does Wilbur know, the devil may work fast, but Jschlatt getting a fucking stroke and dying out of nowhere works faster. 

I’m not kidding. He gets a stroke, he dies, and Tubbo takes over. I’ve tried to puzzle out the government structure of DreamSMP for a while and have drawn zero conclusions. In any case, Wilbur also tells Philza, his… father…, to kill him. And Philza fucking does? For some reason, like, holy shit.

Anyway. Wilbur is now a ghost. So is Jschlatt. The… life system, on this server, is really strange and I don’t know how to fully explain it. Just know that nothing has permanence here. 

I’m going to throw this out here because I don’t know when it’s relevant, but I wrote down something about Karl being in a place called the In Between. I don’t know how the hell he got there or what the hell he’s doing. This might be where the discs are? I can’t explain the discs. I… think they are fighting over the discs? Don’t know why, Wilbur makes music himself, I feel like you have enough to go around.

(Stream Saline Solution it reminds me of my best friend only if you want okay thx)

L’Manberg gets blown up again. This time, Techno did it. He did it just after giving this speech about Theseus, which, jokes aside-- the writing of DreamSMP is actually really good. That was all done on improv, and I did watch an animatic with some of the audio from it, and damn. I’m a whore for metaphor and I love this for him.

This happens, and Ranboo and Tommy decide to do a little hehe and burn down George’s house. Who is George? Good question: a king. Of what? Good question: call me the antithesis of a Ranboo kinnie and get me some discs because I hear no answers.

Dream gets pissed off by this (who gave him authority, I don’t know) and builds a wall. He for some reason decides that if Tommy, and only Tommy, breaks some rules, the wall will stay up forever. So, naturally, Tommy immediately yells at him, and Tubbo gets pissed (what happened to the whole, who are you without me, yourself, thing?). Dream exiles him, which is bad enough, but then Dream burns down his house, so now he’s double exiled.

Dream kins Julius Caesar but Julius Caesar does not kin Dream and I think that’s important. 

(It had to be important enough for me to literally go back and edit this in, for no reason, because I think I’m really fucking hilarious.) 

Techno takes in Tommy and shows him his super secret cave of evil, which Tommy promptly screams at. Philza and Ranboo visit sometimes, but mostly Tommy just sits there. Dream says “fuck you” to Techno, but Techno decides to wage war on L’Manberg, so Quackity and co. come over to try and kill Techno, but Techno kills Quackity with a pickaxe, but Quackity has three lives for some reason, and then Dream blames Ranboo for blowing something up for literally zero reason, and can you tell how tired I am.

Ranboo sees a smiley face in his notebook and zones the fuck out while Dream tries to kill… Tommy? No, Tubbo. No, fuck, no it was Tommy. I don’t know why people suddenly care about it n- NO, NO IT WAS TUBBO, he is TRYING to kill TUBBO. 

I hate Europeans. 

Ahem. Dream goes to jail, but he has books in jail, which is a horrible idea. Everyone knows that if you give a war criminal some novels he’ll accidentally haunt someone else’s dreams and launch psychological warfare with the prison guard, Sam, who has zero idea what he’s doing because he probably didn’t sign up for this.

Also, I’m gonna say this here because I don’t know when it will fit in. There’s this place. Called… the Egg. Now, I don’t know what goes on in the Egg. I don’t know what the Egg is. I don’t know who decided to name all these fucking things, because I think the Egg is just a box made of bedrock. I think Ranboo hallucinates about it, but Ranboo hallucinates about everything so I’m not really sure. I’m going to call it here and say that this is probably a bad sign.

People are trying to talk to Dream. First BadBoyHalo, who gives Ranboo this little note from Dream with a smiley face. Or maybe that was SapNap. Either way, Ranboo hallucinates seeing Dream, and then actually sees Dream but he thinks he’s hallucinating? I don’t know. 

Then we get Tommy. Basically he kind of comes in here and Sam, being a good prison guard, allows Dream to beat Tommy to death and then revive him (don’t ask about the revivals just pretend it makes sense please). He tells Tommy he’s also going to revive Wilbur which Tommy isn’t a big fan of, considering that Wilbur, uh. Vague hand gestures. You get the schtick. Hopefully. I don’t know.

Anyway. Uh. Quackity loses his shit, also.

As in he talks to Jschlatt, the ghost of his abusive husband. Makes a deal-- if Quackity here loses, he revives Jschlatt. I don’t know what the winning conditions are, but, thankfully, they don’t matter because Quackity loses damn near instantly. 

So he goes to Dream and Sam gives him really powerful gear for no reason. Dream is a bit terrified by this situation, and Quackity is like “give me the fucking book”, and then we never find out what happens because Quackity ends up covered in blood about to blow up El Rapids. I hadn’t expected to mark Quackity off on the demolitionist bingo, but hey, all’s fair I guess. My next bets are on Tubbo or whichever bitch became god of the sea. 

(I also made a joke to my friend about me kinning Quackity (the character not the streamer could you fucking imagine), to which they said “you’d torture someone for information��? So. I guess Dream, uh. Hm. That explains why Quackity was bloodied. Uh. Oops. Don’t know why he’s playing Poker, though.)

So, for my sanity, as we come to a close, I’m going to start listing lore details that I don’t know nearly enough about but are probably important. Just… bullet point them. Might be a bit tacky of me but I have shit to do, dammit. By that I mean, I don’t have shit to do, but I’ve had this doc open for literally 1-2 weeks and I just want to be freed.

List Of Other Shit That Happened:

Ranboo started an arg, so there’s a character named Z now. Can’t believe the kid I knew in middle school who didn’t know where the Middle East  was made it into the dreamSMP omg! 

Tubbo did something immoral, and we still don’t know who his dad is. By we, I mean me. 

Eret exists. That’s all I’ve got for this one. They’re important. Probably.

Karl hallucinated six versions of himself and left the In Between to go to hell. (Lil Nas X girlboss gaslight gatekeep in this motherfucker!!!)

Ranboo and Tubbo got married because taxes exist </3

More on this last point: they opened a hotel, despite Tubbo being a king, and Tommy got mad at them for getting engaged without his permission. But Tommy was literally dead when they had the wedding so I’m not exactly sure what he was expecting. Either way, he’s fine with it now.

Kids getting adopted oh shit oh fuck. Also, mpreg is canotical. Make this what you will. 

DreamXD is a god now. I don’t know who DreamXD is. I don’t think anybody else does either.

I’m like 60% sure George is dead. 

I’m like 60% sure Philza is immortal.

Going through my ‘notes’ to make sure I didn’t miss anything and I’m just getting more confused, so I think I’m going to call it here. Props to everyone in the dreamSMP for creating kickass lore, I would not summarize any of it ever again if you held me at fucking gunpoint, and thanks to my mutuals/friends for letting me ask a lot of really stupid questions as I try to puzzle this out. And also, another thanks to you all for reading this. I hope to God this was funny. 

I really, really, really fucking hope that Tumblr doesn’t cut this off for a long character count. This is longer than some of my fucking oneshots. My God. This was so fun, don’t get me wrong, but I also want a hit of a candy cigarette. Make it two, actually. Or three. All at once. 

Anyway. Drink some water, stay safe, and remember that statistically speaking, 100% of people with a name starting with “T” need to put down the Greek mythology books and learn about the ethics behind pyromania. Goodbye, Theseus. 

[midoriyaizukustan-inactive]

Have I told you about this ship I wonder exists, yet? Basically: Uraraka. Tsuyu. Yaoyorozu. Think about it. (Also, I considered putting iida in there, but I’ll wait for your opinion on this.)

ECHO WE ARE SPEAKING THE SAME LANGUAGE HOLY F U CK

GIRLS GIRLG GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS GLRILS OHHOHOFHODHDKJSJKF

BRO IDEK WHERE TO START THATS JUST SO INSPIRED

I HAVE THOUGHT OF THIS BEFORE THOUGH I JUST LOVE THEM SO MUCH OHH F U C K

i think uraraka would be the first poor bastard to start pining and she recognizes that after like a couple weeks bc she knows shes like bubbly in general right. but its to the point that even She realizes how much more extra she gets when tsu and/or momo are around and once she realizes that, she also realizes her stomach gets butterflies whenever shes teamed up with them,,,and she thinks their hair looks really pretty and she’d really love to run her hands through it,,,and she admires them and looks up to them and just harbors such warm feelings for them bc theyre just such good ppl and. oh man she whipped

anyway she Panics. like yknow the freakout she had when her crush on mido got revealed in canon?? its that but like 10x worse she is p anIckiNg(tm)

uraraka: as one bi disaster to another literally what the fuck do i do

midoriya pining after iida and todoroki: literally how am i supposed to know we’re in the same boat here uraraka-san

DFJKDJK SHE PERSIHES BC SHE JUS TLOVES THEM SO MUCH BUT SHE ALSO HATES BEING IN THE SAME ROOM AS THEM NOW BC SHE HATES THE FEELINGS BC THEYRE JUST SO OVERWHELMING BUT SHE LOVES HER FRIENDS BUT THE EMBARRASSMENT OF JUST SITTING NEXT TO THEM SUCKS FUCK

uraraka is Sure these crushes have ruined her life but THEN

she’s hanging out w tsu one day to study like just in her room. and theyre being playful and having fun and uraraka is having her crisis but internally and tsu can tell smth’s up but uraraka smiles so brilliant at her regardless and tsu thinks she looks adorable w the flushed cheeks and oh! so tsu, since she’s a distinguished lesbian, realizes then and there that she’s a Pining and is like “hey ochako-chan?”

“what is it tsu-san??”

“hm. i. i think i have a crush on you, kero”

uraraka promptly shuts down, restarts, shuts down again, restarts, then freaks the FUCK OUT which involves her floating to the roof for a couple minutes, and then returning to tsu to choke out “I liKe yOu tOo” with like 8000 voice cracks

so once uraraka can like talk without spontaneously combusting, shes like “omg tsu i rlly like u i do and i wanna like,,be your girlfriend,,but i also,,like yaomomo at the Same Time im sorry?? i just,,yknow” bc honesty is key kiddos

tsu is like “ok thats valid r u even a wlw if u dont have a crush on momo”

no but they like talk abt what exactly the wanna do from there and decide they’ll ask yaomomo abt it in the next couple of days

uraraka is SO STRESSED cause she doesnt wanna wait to talk but also the talk is gonna be her fucking death so she is rlly experiencing the duality of man. eventually tho the perf opportunity arises; she, tsu, nd yaomomo r the last in the kitchen after dinner bc they all had chores to do (tsu and yaomomo r to wash nd dry the dishes nd uraraka has to clean up the dining room nd the cooking materials nd all that)

anyway tsu gives uraraka a Look to let her know “hey we should talk to her now” and uraraka almost drops a plate bc her hands get so sweaty but shes like “o kay” pray for her guys

so its quiet for a couple minutes but yaomomo’s humming smth and like when tsu passes a plate to her to dry, their hands brush and oh man. now tsu is Also gay panicking

“hey momo-chan??”

“yea??”

and uraraka’s disastrous nature must have rubbed off on tsu bc she just goes into the fucking provisional license exam like “uhhH thaNKs for KEeping me Warm there that would have Sucked haha!!” and yaomomo smiles at her but uraraka can also see it and bro. they are Messes she has such a pretty smile,,,

anyway once theyre almost done uraraka (surprising i know) just kinda slaps her hands on the counter to get their attention, and when yaomomo nd tsu turn towards her, uraraka is like “I!!! LIKE BOTH OF YOU VERY MUCH. I THINK YOURE BOTH GREAT AND AMAZING AND INSPIRATION AND I. APPRECIATE YOU FOR JUST EXISTING AND IF WE COULD GO ON A DATE SOMETIME I THINK I’D DIE OF JOY” iida has rubbed off on her evidently

smooth ‘raka smooth

anyway yaomomo gets bright red nd kinda hides her face in her hands while tsu is smiling at uraraka but also blushing and like who can blame her its not every day a loved one screams their affections @ u

anyway yaomomo is like “what brought this on???” and its uraraka’s turn to blush while she’s like “i just- i just rlly like you guys i meant that. i think youre really amazing nd iiiii i just rlly love u”

HHH and tsu’s like “i um. i like u too. both of u that is. i think youre gonna be great heroes and its a great experience, getting to be able to train alongside u two”

yaomomo is Flustered As Fuck nd needs a moment to like accept that this is reality but she’s also like “i like u both too!!! uraraka i just think your demeanor and determination is so fierce and you gonna save a lot of people one day. and tsu!! your quirk is so versatile youre so confident and i have a lot to learn from you,,,you two r just so strong and brave and i rlly love u guys”

we are crying in this chilis tonight. their first date is them just sitting on that kitchen floor once the chores r done and like trying for all three of them to hold hands w/o getting too flustered to stop. its so sweet u guys

echo i owe u my life this is so INSPIRED fuck i am crying,,,theyre literally my favorite girls fuck i LOVE THEM!!!! fuck