#but actually listening to what ed says on screen is impossible

[chuplayswithfire]

Ed's not an unreliable narrator, certain fans just don't want to listen to what he's saying.

[bugbyte]

frustrated medical blabbing

Today was supposed to be an unpleasant but unavoidable thing. I had to go for a physical exam as part of the process of attempting to appeal for disability. They kept changing the date and time on me, this was supposed to get done months ago, but they set it for 9 am this morning so fuck it, let's go.

Stories about medical professionals being unpleasant under the cut. Lotsa unpleasant medical blabbing which explains why the comic will be late if I can't get my arms feeling better. 😵‍💫

Most mornings for me are slow out of necessity. It takes me a while to get moving, to feel well enough to eat something, for meds to kick in. It makes me feel awful and lazy but I've gotten better at accepting that this is what makes my body function better so I just go with it. Being nonfunctional hurts more than pushing my day around so that's what we do.

Anyway, I spent all night not sleeping well and feeling slightly worried because it's a long drive to the place, the last time I was there the building seemed non-ADA compliant and I smashed my hands trying to wheel through the doorframe, and all of that was later in the afternoon when I'd had time to be more put together. So that aspect was rough on me but not impossible.

I brought headphones because the last time I was there, there was a TV blaring the most insipid facts about "ways to deal with anxiety" and I really wanted to find the off switch and/or throw something through the screen, so instead I listened to music and didn't do that. I had to wait approximately forever to get called back and that's immediately where everything started going wrong.

The nurse was nice but immediately frustrated asking if I could stand. (For the record: I can, just not indefinitely, and prefer it to be brief in unknown circumstances like this.) Then she took my blood pressure but did something super weird with the cuff that I can't really explain because I don't understand it, and when she was done she just pulled the end without stabilizing my arm at all and ripped it off. Probably fine for most people; not fine at all for EDS joints. My shoulder was immediately on fire and I knew something was wrong. This will be like the fourth time now a medical person has injured this specific joint because they're unfamiliar with EDS and just pull on it.

So then she left, and thankfully I wasn't alone, so I explained what had just happened to my spouse (Delade) and we were both on alert.

The actual doctor comes in and is like a ten thousand year old white guy who mumbles in a way that's practically impossible to understand, and between my shoulder pain and my anxiety my brain basically shut off and had my spouse not been paying attention and asking questions I would have missed the next key thing: he muttered that he was doing an orthopedic exam, and I could say no to anything I thought I couldn't do, but the way it came out made me think that I had to do everything, and when I get stressed like that my reaction is to just do what I'm told. So I'm thankful for that.

He then barked his way through a series of basic tests about what I could bend and how far and made me get out of my wheelchair. Again, I can usually kinda manage this, but after sitting uncomfortably for so long, plus my shoulder being wrecked, I had to lean on something, and lasted about two minutes before I had to sit. During which he kindly took my chair away so if I fell I would have been flat on the floor. Great.

There were a bunch of things I had to say no to because I knew if I did them I'd be worse off, but then, because EDS is wildly unpredictable, my other arm started cramping up furiously. At this point the tests were over and he was just going through my chart being chatty and namedropping doctors he knew, and meanwhile my arm is getting more and more and more painful and I'm starting to sweat, a lot. He ignores me and starts chatting with spouse, who wants nothing to do with this either, and finally has to ask if I'm ok. I'm not.

I'm pretty sure this was another vasovagal episode because it came on fast and I was immediately shivering and drenched in sweat, completely nauseated. None of this got written down as a result of the testing, the guy had just blundered off at that point. Usually I'm able to move myself in my chair but with both arms down it wasn't happening, so Delade pushed me out and because the building isn't ADA-compliant, we had to get two nurses to help open the front doors so we could get out.

I was white knuckling it somewhere between passing out and throwing up, but getting into the outside air helped. I had to sit for a while before we could move the car. I felt somewhat better by the time we got home, but my shoulders and arms feel burnt and wrecked, like the worst lingering muscle pull combined with an angry trapezius shoving my shoulders around.

I'm just mad about the whole thing. Mad that they were so careless, mad that they didn't even know what EDS was so how could they possibly fairly judge me for it, mad that now I don't know how long it's going to take to feel better. Mad that they pushed me so hard that I was about to throw up, and then just didn't make note of that, or care. What was the point here???

Anyway, if the comic is late, I'm trying to recover physically and mentally from this. I just feel like at this point I never want another doctor I don't know to ever touch me again. Is this medical trauma? Probably???

[cononeillbreastingboobily]

The romances in OFMD took me by surprise.

You know? Because yeah, sometime in the middle of the series we get this feeling that Ed and Stede are heading towards something (by the time I, like many others, thought I was going to be queerbaited. Sigh) but then!!!

Then there's this cuuuute mutual crush Olu and Jim have on each other, which honestly, some of their moments truly had me squealing because they're. just. so. CUTE.

I mean, listen.

Jim's favourite colour is teal. The same colour as Olu's earring, which they would have a direct view of when Olu asked them about it. If this isn't the cutest thing ever, then honestly!!!! What is!!!! And the fact that they've been friends all this time, like, ahhhhhh 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Their love story is, I think, paced in such a lovely way too, because we start with episode 1 when it's established that Olu has a little crush on Jim, and then further down the line it's revealed that it's mutual, and then they almost kiss, so when they actually kiss for real in the last episode of the series it's honestly like!!! YES!!!!! YES, GOOD FOR YOU!!!!!

And then!!!

Then there's Lucius and Black Pete.

This one, I completely didn't anticipate, but when it came around, it hit me right over the head with again, how impossibly cute they are together.

Because for the majority of the series Black Pete is something of a dick really, his main personality trait being that he once worked with Blackbeard (or so he says) and that out of everyone in Stede's crew (including Stede himself) he's the closest to the "real pirate" ideal.

And together, Lucius and Pete mostly hook up around the ship, which they do instead of working. That's their whole deal, and we're meant to think that oh, okay, so it's just casual with them!

But then!!!

Lucius loses his finger, and Black Pete whittles a prosthetic one for him!!!! And Lucius loves it!!! And he kisses Pete!!!! And they're just!!!! So sweet and cute and just 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹 from this point forward

(there is much to be said how Black Pete is going to react if he finds out that his beloved Blackbeard threw his sweetie pie Lucius overboard. I think his reaction could be very interesting, because on one hand you have this idolisation of a mythical figure almost, and on the other hand you have his love for Lucius, something that is way more tangible and like, mutual??? Unlike the thing with Blackbeard, since we didn't really get a confirmation that Pete was actually ever on his crew, which, regardless of whether that's true or not, it's clear that Black Pete looks up to him quite a lot)

So while Ed and Stede might be the central love story of the show, the relationships between side characters are almost shockingly sweet and well developed, considering the very limited screen time. Plus, each of these relationships has kind of a different... Flavour, it's written in a different font if you will. Each of them has a different feel to it, I guess that's what I'm trying to say?

I love them all, and honestly? I'm hoping that in later seasons some other crew members will get it on with each other. They're all such fun characters to observe interacting with one another, and seeing their personalities clash in unique ways as they get it on is bound to be sweet and fun to watch.

[shadowed-dancer]

My Thoughts on the New MHA Opening and Ending

I have thoughts, and I will share them because oh boy if I don’t get this out I’m gonna explode

Vague Spoilers for the manga (up to chapter 258 and vigilantes) because I discuss the upcoming arcs, but I don’t discuss any major plot points in detail. Still, proceed with caution if you’re anime only

Keep in mind, this OP and ED will cover the Endeavour Agency Arc and the MVA Arc, so I will be judging them accordingly.

First, the OP

This is a good OP... in theory (that’s going to become my catchphrase for this post). It’s nice to look at and flows pretty well, but my biggest problem is that it doesn’t do it’s job. An OP is supposed to be a sort of... summary (?) of the Cour it plays for. That means any cool plot points, emotional beats, and important characters should be featured in some way, shape, or form. We’ll talk about that more later, but first let’s discuss the music.

The song is really good. I have a feeling it will continue to grow on me as I listen to it more often, but yeah my first impression is that the song sounds great. My only complaint about the music itself is that it ends kind of abruptly (I noticed this is the JT opening too). The previous openings used to have a bit of instrumental to “play us out” and lead us to the end card, but this one feels like it ends very suddenly and unnaturally.

As for the visuals...

Yeah alright I’ll admit, the visuals are stunning... in theory. I appreciate the variety in backgrounds and colours, it makes the OP really interesting to look at. This was actually one of my biggest problems with the JT Opening, it all took place on the training grounds, so there was no variety (everything was metal tubes with a blue sky, with only 3 shots set somewhere different). I appreciate the style of this OP.

But like I said, that’s only in theory, as in, through screenshots these are all pleasing to look at. The pacing of this OP is wild, and I truly don’t know who to blame for this.

That sunset shot above? It lasts approximately 12 seconds, zooming in every few to make it seem like something is happening (when in reality it’s still the same poses, angles, etc). While there’s nothing wrong with a nice, drawn out shot, it becomes irritating when compared to the pacing of the rest of this op.

At the 41 second mark, we are given the shot above. It has flowed directly from the previous sunset scene. We still have not moved away from the image of the trio (aside from the opening shot and the title card) yet we’re approaching the halfway mark of the OP.

The next shot is the MLA, which lasts about 5 seconds. Ok, perfect. Not too long, but also not short enough to be confusing. It cuts away a little fast once the dude on the far left appears, but does anyone actually know who that is? No, seriously, I’m asking. I don’t remember his name and he’s not on the wiki, so I can only assume he’s not important. Therefore, it’s not all that bad if the shot cuts away shortly after he comes into frame. The audience is able to take in the scene without having to pause...

... And then the problems start

While this shot is fine in theory, it pans up fast and  cuts away quickly. You know how hard it was for me to get this screenshot? Really hard. You want to know why I struggled so much? Because, due to the timing of the cut and the way it pans upwards, it’s almost impossible to pause on Dabi’s face. I literally had to go frame by frame to get it, because he’s in shot for so little time that naturally pausing is guaranteed to miss him.

When watching this in real time (without pausing) the cut away makes you feel as if you missed something because “something was there, I just couldn’t register what because now it’s gone”. Unlike Compress, who wears a very colourful coat you can recognize the entire time, Dabi’s pants are more blended into the background.

It also doesn’t help that this shot is literally composed to draw your attention away from Dabi until the last possible second. Due to framing, your eye is naturally drawn to the brightly coloured Toga in the foreground, making it super easy to miss Dabi in the back (until, of course, his bright face appears and contrasts against the background, drawing your eye just in time for the scene to change, leaving you to wonder who or what you missed).

I know this sounds like nitpicking, but this shot is the only group shot we get of the League, and is also the start of a seriously weird trend for the villains in this OP getting the short end of the stick.

Anyways, then we get what I’ll call “The Carousel Shot” in which every Class 1A kid shows up and poses dramatically, as if they were on a carousel. It’s a lovely sequence and I really enjoy watching it but... why is it in this OP?

Seriously, this is a genuine question. Class 1A barely shows up in the Endeavour Agency Arc, and NONE of the students are in MVA. This sequence (not counting the three boys at the end) lasts 8 seconds. Why is this much time dedicated to characters who are barely in the arc? (Unless Studio Bones extends their work studies into fuller plot lines which oh my gosh please don’t do that, or if they do, do it quick).

We then get what I call the “Oh God I Blinked And Missed Everything” sequence, which lasts 3 seconds (not including the longer, moving shot of Shigaraki at the end) and features NINE INDIVIDUAL IMAGES, none of which are related to each other. Not only is this 3 images per second, but the fact that they are all unrelated means you can’t even use previous information to fill in the blanks.

What do I mean by that? Well, imagine if I show you 9 images of various pro heroes posing. If I play that in 3 seconds you’ll absolutely miss some of them, but as long as you catch some you’ll still get an idea of what I’m trying to show to you. Your brain is able to fill in the gaps that “I recognized 4 pro heroes, therefore the rest must have also been pros” even if you didn’t register every single frame.

That doesn’t work if every frame features a completely different subject. The shots in this sequence vary so widely that it’s impossible to find a through line. Some feature multiple characters, some feature one, some are closeups, some are super far away, some are character’s we know, others are characters we don’t. It’s impossible to get a solid read on what you’re being shown.

Now, again, there’s nothing wrong with these super quick shots... in theory. The problem comes from the fact that these shots are the only indicators for some of the major themes that will be explored during this Cour (like Twice’s growth and young Shigaraki).

That being said, let’s move away from criticism and talk about speculation, because hidden amongst this sequence are two... interesting images.

This All Might one is very reminiscent of the shot in Chapter 257, where Aizawa and All Might have a conversation while staring up at the stars. However, this is technically the start of the “War Arc” (or the “prologue”, if that’s what you want to call it), so this might indicate that we’re going to get farther into the series than a lot of us guessed.

(Many people suspected we’d get to that cliffhanger at the start of the season (if you read the manga you know the one), but after seeing the pacing for JT a lot of us assumed we’d be lucky to even finish Endeavour Agency. It seems we’re back to the cliffhanger now though lol). 

This is another really interesting shot because it’s indicative of Shirakumo, meaning we might get to see Aizawa and Mic confront him some time this Cour (this also makes sense, since this confrontation technically happens before that All Might scene I mentioned in the previous paragraph).

But the cat specifically is a really strange addition. That cat is named Sushi and, correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think Sushi is ever mentioned in the main series. I think he’s only in Vigilantes.

This might just be a little Easter Egg for Vigilante readers, but I’m personally hoping that they’ll add at least a few Vigilante shots in there to really tug at the heart strings. I’d say I want a whole Vigilante episode but I don’t think they have the time (unless they really cram MVA, which I do NOT want).

I don’t have much to say about the last bit of the OP. The action shot between the 3 boys was nice, and it follows the sort of narrative through line they established from the early shot of them sitting at the sunset. I also like the shot of Endeavour fading in to replace All Might, even if it’s very simple.

But I want to talk about an overarching problem I touched upon earlier in that villain shot: the way the villains are handled in this OP.

This is a good OP... in theory. The problem is, it doesn’t represent half the arcs in the cour! Every shot of the League is so rushed that you can barely register that they were on screen before they’re gone.

I have no idea how many Episodes Endeavour Agency will take, but I’d assume 3 (4 if you count the Christmas episode). 12 episodes for this Cour minus 3 for Endeavour Agency = 9 episodes left. If we truly do get the prologue for the War Arc (and if we assume it’s only 1 episode) that leaves us with 8 villains episodes.

8/12 episodes (aka two thirds of the Cour) will likely be about the villains. And yet they’re pushed to the background so hard in this OP.

I want to dream, and I want to believe that this OP is going to magically change when MVA starts. The song fits super well, and I can imagine like an inversion of the OP but from the Villain side! Wouldn’t that be neat? Imagine right after the “it’s alright” part Shigaraki just freaking decays the title card... oh man that would be so cool. But, alas, I highly doubt they’d do that.

Side rant, but you know what was so fun about MVA in the manga? It’s that, for 21 chapters, we leave the kids behind and the villains become our protagonists. Suddenly Shigaraki is the one we’re rooting for, suddenly we’re learning backstories for everyone, and suddenly we find ourselves just as attached to the villains as we are to the kids. It’s an inversion that’s SO RARE to find, and I think many people (myself included) were hoping it would be reflected in the OP.

A big part of being the protagonist means featuring heavily in the OP, and a lot of us just wanted the villains to get that honour, even if only once. As is, the OP still treats them as the antagonists when... really they aren’t. Not right now, at least.

So yeah, final thoughts on the OP are that it’s good, it’s just not very representative of the arcs it’s supposed to cover. If this was just for Endeavour Agency, I’d say it’s actually really cool, but if we assume that this is what will play for the Villain Arc, then it simply doesn’t do it’s job. And it makes me sad to say that because, again, this OP is really well done.

If I had to rate it? Hmmm

If Studio Bones actually grants my wish and creates a different visual for the Villain Arc (while using the same song) and then this version only plays for the Endeavour Agency Arc and the War Prologue? I’d give it an 8/10. It’s really good, but it could use a few more elements that are clearly derived from the Agency Arc (ahem, Todoroki siblings).

But if this is the OP that will play for the entire Cour? a 6.5/10. It’s nice, but it’s not representative of one of the arcs it’s going to cover. And, unlike other arcs like Pro Hero or Summer Exams, the villain Arc is so important and takes up so much time that it honestly feels like a bit of a disservice.

Now for the Ending

I want to say that I appreciate how soft this ending starts. This cour will likely feature a lot of episodes that end on... heavier themes, and I think the sight of peaceful, falling raindrops is the perfect way to let the audience process their emotions before starting the ending in earnest.

The song itself is very nice, and I like that it’s a bit slower than the more recent endings.

(Side note, but the FUNNIEST moment in the entire series is when Sir Nighteye dies because it’s so emotional and everyone is standing around his bed in his heartwrentching silence, only for the ending to come BLARING IN out of no where. If you forgot how jarringly hilarious it was, go listen to the Eri ending and tell me that’s not the funniest thing this series ever did. Anyways yeah I’m glad that’s not gonna happen this Cour).

This ending is a bit all over the place in terms of it’s visuals, but honestly I think it works. Most endings usually have a theme tying them together (all the Class 1A girls, a fantasy AU, old photographs, planning a party, etc) but this ending’s theme is a bit harder to identify.

That being said, I think it’s just supposed to show everyone going about their day. It’s calm, it’s peaceful, and it’s just very sweet to think about

I like this shot. Actually, scratch that, I like this whole sequence. I enjoy anything that allows Class 1A to chill and have fun.

Hawks is featured quite heavily in this ending which, fair. He’s pretty important in this arc.

I really love the shot where Endeavour immediately switches to Hawks, I thought that was a lot of fun, and very good symbolism on how Hawks wants to be like Endeavour. I also love all the shots of Baby Hawks, because it’s adorable.

Something about this shot is just so cute. It’s the little domestic things like waiting for a bus that make this ending feel... idk the word, real? It shows a side of the characters that we’ll never see in the episodes, but we know have to exist.

Like yes, of course the kids have to wait for the bus. We never see it, but of course there are those moments of quiet. Agh, I love it.

The villains also make an appearance and I’m very happy about that (I’d love to see more of the villains just chilling around, I think they deserve it). I kind of wish they weren’t sitting in a dark room for the sake of being edgy, since I think it would be nice to see the villains just... sort of existing, but honestly it’s still a nice shot. I also like how this shot sort of mirrors the first one with Class 1A (someone coming in while everyone else is sitting and waiting for them).

That being said, as much as I love looking at Dabi and his stupid face (affectionate)... why is Dabi the one getting the closeup?

Mind you, endings don’t need to be connected to their Cours (they can be, like the Eri one, but they don’t have to be). But this ending does seem to be connected to the arcs it intends to cover, given all the Hawks appearances, the boys wearing their work study scarves, etc.

So, I ask again, why Dabi? Out of the six League members, we learn the backstory for four of them in this arc (Shigaraki, Toga, Twice, and we very briefly learn about Spinner). The only two left out are Dabi and Compress.

I can only assume they chose Dabi because he’s constantly in contact with Hawks, and therefore that makes him important? If the OP told us anything, it’s that Bones values the Endeavour Agency Arc over the Villain Arc lol...

... Oh my gosh please tell me that’s not actually the reason Dabi is focused on here BONES WAI-

Anyways, the ending comes to a close with Hawks watching over the kids and Endeavour. The relaxing time is done, it’s time for work studies.

Overall impression? It’s great. It’s hard to screw up an ending, so as long as you have something pretty on screen, it’s wonderful.

I’ll give this a 9/10

[btssavedmylifeblr]

I forgot to send on my voting story. Ok so my brother and I both got mail in ballots, and let me tell you how we both forgot to mail it in so we just thought to bring them to our voting location. The lady there kinda yelled at us? She was confused and didn't know how to go about it. And honestly I just took it because we were the idiots who didn't mail in our ballots. We had to rip them up and they just us new ones to fill out in person and submit. Not exciting, but a story for void snippet. 👀

Anonymous said: Hi!! I'm so excited for void! I voted today around 30 minutes before the polls closed in my neighborhood because I had to wait for my dad and brother to get home from work since they wanted to go all together hehe. It was a pretty fast process! We just pressed buttons on screens (compared to last election where we had to bubble in everything by hand) plus, I got to keep the stylus that they gave us and it works on phones too! 🥰🥰 Thank you! I love your writing so much 💜💜💜

Anonymous said: I did mine through mail me and my husband did and we went to the post office a little while back and then he took us on a nice little date afterward and we got ice cream! Also I love void💖 keep up the good work

Anonymous said: VOTES FOR VOID??? I love democracy and I love VOID! So since May I've (temporarily) moved back home from New York to Indiana RE: covid; I've voted absentee for the both the primaries and presidential election (I'm still in IN rn...blah). I voted early and mailed in my ballot for the presidential election (about 3 weeks ago). Made sure my family was voting (brother mailed it in, mom dropped off a ballot, and dad did early voting) and encourage them to put up a Biden sign in our yard <3

Anonymous said: HI BEE! I ALSO VOTED TODAY! IM 21 SO THIS IS MY FIRST TIME VOTING FOR THE PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION (my 18th bday didnt make the cutoff since im a december bday) im so happy to have done my part! I made sure to study up on the judges and policies and everything! Luckily the polling place didn't have a line so i was able to get in, get my ballot, and fill it in right away! I even dragged my mom and cousin to come with me. I made a joke on snapchat to encourage my friends to vote too. It was a pic of my "i voted" sticker with a caption saying "omg youre so sexy when you vote aHaha" -🦙

Anonymous said: this is my first time doing this so, so i hope i’m sending this correctly! i voted early in late september by mail! i live in a swing state, so it’s really important for me to vote and not waste time!! bc of my age, this is my first time voting so i’m really nervous 😅

Anonymous said: I voted by email! I'm overseas so I wasn't sure if my ballot would actually make it through in time, so I decided to go electronically. Had to sign a waiver saying I understand that my vote won't be anonymous but I haven't been given a reason to suspect voter suppression/fraud in my state, so I'm happy I think...!

Anonymous said: hi, i voted early on oct 24th. my absentee ballot didn't come in, so i had to travel back home to vote (~3 hour drive). when we got there, there was a ton of people outside the polling place, but no lines, so i was in and out pretty quick. it was my first time voting, so i had all the candidates i was voting for written down on a tiny receipt so i wouldn't forget 😅. my mom was with me, so she voted too. took a pic with my sticker (mask on for extra covid-ness) and went home. drove back the next afternoon!

whippedforkook said: Hi Bee. 💕 I voted in early October - nearly a month ago! 😱 It’s been really weird with all the lead up to the election because it felt like it should have been done once I cast my ballot! A lot of my friends have volunteered to get out the vote: writing postcards to voters, texting, phone banking, working the polls, curing ballots. I didn’t volunteer at all this year, but I hope that all of my friends’ hard work and everyone else’s is enough. I’m also hoping and praying that I will be in a better place mentally for 2022 so that I too can volunteer. Our work starts with 2020 not ends. 💕 Wishing you well. 💕

begineuphoria said: I went and voted last Friday as it was our last early voting day. No way was I going to wait until today with the crowds of people in my area that still act as if masks are somehow infringing on their rights. 🙄 It was a rather normal experience for the most part. Other than having to use a coffee stir stick to press the buttons on the machine to vote. In and out within five minutes.

Anonymous said: I voted down the street at this pretty park this morning. I got up at 5:30 and it was freezing. Luckily I wore like 30 layers and stood outside for 2 hours. Some nasty orange man supporters were rude but everyone else was pretty nice. A really cute older couple was playing soccer with pine cones and kicked it towards me to play too. Not the worst time tbh.

Anonymous said: Did mail-in voting in California! Extremely exhausting and took forever to research all the propositions - they are notoriously tricky in hiding their flaws and one side tends to outrageously outspend the other. But in the end I felt really good about my research and decisions! No need for you to post a snippet for this story - would like to save that to read sometime in the future ;) Thank you so much for doing this!

joonsgotthejuice said: Votes for void??? I am here! I went last Thursday and it was chaotic bc I kept going past the poll place but the line was soooo long so my mom called me and woke me up like "its pouring rain and the line is super short get up I'm gonna pick you up" so thats the story of how I got dressed in 5 minutes and dragged my ass to vote in the rain <3

Anonymous said: i voted early on thursday it was cold and rainy but i went in the late afternoon and thankfully the only waiting i did was a few minutes for an elevator i got very lucky and while waiting for the results is awful the relief that came from voting in general was just great

Anonymous said: Wheeew the polls just closed and I finally got to cast my ballot yayyy ( I was the one working the polls from earlier) it’s been a really really long day and we actually had surprisingly good turnout. I saw a woman try to vote for someone else who claimed to be “helping” and I saw a woman who I’m pretty sure was on some typa something 👀 Overall though I really I’m really thankful for people like you who encouraged people to get out and vote. I hope the odds are in our favor❤️🤞🏼

chelsea-chee said: Hello Bee! Today surprisingly my elderly father wanted to vote so I brought him out with me. He only cared about voting for Biden, which meant I got to help decide who he should vote for with the rest of the candidates and amendments! Say hello to baby bee for me as well! 💖

Anonymous said: Okay I gonna got a chance to vote today and the process wasn’t that bad actually. I went in just now and it wasn’t that busy( thankfully) so no lines. I’m from Texas and it’s gonna be almost impossible to turn this state blue, but every vote counts! I love that you are getting people to vote and also sharing your experiences as well!

owl-orgy said: Dropped off my mail in ballot at a polling location! I originally wanted to vote early in person because I was worried my signature wouldn’t match closely enough but ended up just turning it in and double checked today to make it said “ballot accepted and counted”!

Anonymous said: I voted in person this afternoon, better late than never I guess. I was gonna go last week but then I got cramps from hell. There was no one in line in front of me, I think my county early voted because it was packed everyday the last few weeks

Anonymous said: I voted early a couple weeks ago. Exciting thing though that did happen was I got both my parents to vote for their first time ever.

Anonymous said: I had a mail in vote. So, I filled it out and dropped it in at the ballot box at my library. (I also checked out books for the first time in years, so I had fun!)

bubblyjiminnie said: I literally just finished voting. Lucky for me, the line and wait wasn’t very long, and it was a nice enough day that the short amount of time I had to spend in line outside of the building wasn’t too bad. My social anxiety when it comes to stuff like this tends to be high but that’s what I get for waiting until Election Day instead of going the mail in route. This was only my second time voting, but I’m glad that I did 😊

Anonymous said: I turned my ballot in last week :) I’m not a big fan of crowds and I hate make spur of the moment choices but despite that the first time I was able to vote back in 08 my Mom pressured me into voting in person because “you’d have to experience it at least once in our life”. And ever since then I comfortably vote by mail. I take my time, do all of my research, listen to music, and best of all don’t have to deal with people.

Anonymous said: here in Washington state it’s super easy to vote. I dropped my ballot off in mid-October and it’s already been accounted for! Mail in voting and drop box voting is fantastic and provides equal opportunity and access. Sad to see some people in red states misinforming Americans about it! We also have a referendum for implementing mandatory sex ed, including teaching respect, empathy and consent as part of the curriculum so I was happy to vote yes on that too!

unionrox006 said: I voted about 2 weeks ago by doing a mail in ballot. The other eligible to vote members of my household did the same. We chose to vote by absentee ballot because both my mom and I have an autoimmune disorder, so we have to be careful going out in the pandemic. Tbh, the ballot layout was a bit confusing at first as was all the paperwork and required IDs and documents. But my dad explained it to me and we got them filled out and mailed off. Kinda mad I didn't get a sticker for it though

bluetostone said: Love this and so excited for the next chp of void! I early voted a few weeks ago and because I live in a pretty rural county I was in and out of my polling place in a few minutes. No sticker though 😢. I live in a swing state so it could go either way in terms of delegates. Just praying everyone is safe tonight as the results roll in...though, won't we not know for sure for a couple of days or weeks?

Anonymous said: My mom, sister, and I received our early voting ballots a while ago and I took the longest to fill mine out because it was making me anxious :,( but I did return it before it was due. I checked our ballot statuses and mine and my moms were accepted but my sister’s said they hadn’t received hers back. Then she got another ballot so she filled that one out too and I took it yesterday 👍👍 I think she got two because she changed her address late so they sent two?

vixsynsblog said: Non-interesting voter story: I'm paranoid and live in a highly divided area, so I filed mail-in ASAP, mailed it a few days after cause neighbors are nosy and don't understand boundaries. Was able to track my ballot through my credit company, which was nice. Only thing I was missing was my sticker. Never got one✊😔. So I had to improvise and write it in pen on my disposable mask. I'm working all this week so if riots break out from either side, I'll be at work. Prayers for the safety of others���

______

Waaah!!! Thank you all for voting!! You are all my heroes. I am so grateful and proud of you. I’m sorry I ran out of time to respond to you individually. I’m going to drop two big scenes from Chapter 7 in gratitude (one of which will be familiar to my patrons and one won’t). I’m hopeful I will have the whole next chapter out very soon. Love you all!

Void spoilers below the cut.

When you wake up in the morning, there are still no signed HR forms in your messages. Had you been a fool to think they were interested? How much time does it take to decide such a thing? Perhaps just by putting the idea out there explicitly, it had lost all of its taboo appeal. 

There is a calendar reminder waiting for you: Today is chili pepper pollinating day. At least this gives you an excuse to talk to Hoseok. 

You find the science officer in the lab as always, sitting with his knee up against his chest. Hoseok doesn’t look well. He’s got dark circles under his eyes.

“Hey, um…” You shuffle your feet. Want to fuck me? No wait…“You don’t look good. Were you here all night?” you ask.

He blinks at you, bleary-eyed. “Um, was I? Yeah.. I suppose. Lost track of time.” He rubs his eyes, before looking you up and down, then casting his gaze back to the floor. 

All you want to do is ask about the forms. Or the meeting. Or what he thinks of you now. But you don’t. “I need to pollinate the chili peppers today.” Usually Hoseok is the person who assists with that. “But I can get one of the other guys to do it if you need the sleep.”

“No!” Hoseok lurches forward, standing up a bit to rapidly and needing to put his hand back on the bench to steady himself. “I mean, I’m fine.” 

You should disgaree with him. He is exhausted. But you’d like more time to talk to him. 

Pollinating the chili peppers is both time-sensitive and time-consuming, hence why it took two of you to get the job done. There were no insects on your ship to do the job for you and if they didn’t get pollinated, they wouldn’t bear any fruit. Your chili peppers were your favorite crop. Not only a vital source of Vitamin C, but all your food benefitted from having a bit of spice added to it. 

You and Hoseok head for the greenhouse together. The intital set-up gives you something to talk about in the beginning. Hoseok gathers the pollen from one flower onto a paintbrush, then hands it over to you to paint onto the stigmas of each little flower on the next plant in the line.

Slowly the conversation dries up as you fall into a silent rhythm. Other than just enjoying the chili peppers, you must admit that this was one of your favorite tasks on the ship because of the high likelihood that the two of you would brush hands peridically. Always gave you butterflies. But today he seems extra intent on keeping his distance from you. Was he disgusted by you now? His hands are trembling.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” 

His hand twitches so hard that a little rain of yellow pollen cascades onto the floor. He curses in frustration before turning to face you. “Are you sure you’re okay?” 

“Um, yes, I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“This, um, plan of yours…” he gestures to the vague tension in the air. “It doesn’t feel like you.”

“I’m trying to save the mission. That has always been my top priority.”

“Yeah, I’m still not clear on how this benefits the mission.”

“Yoongi said…” you start to say, but are cut off my Hoseok’s derisive snort. 

“Look, if you’re in love with Yoongi, just go date him, okay? Don’t feel obligated to include the rest of us out of pity.” 

You frown. “I’m not… I’m not in love with him. It’s just sex. Just biology.” 

“This isn’t you!” Hoseok argues back. “You hated the idea of anyone of us ever treating you that way. And now you just want all of us to… to… use you like that?”  He splutters out the end of the sentence.

“No one is using me! This is my plan! I’m in charge!”

He sighs. “Well, I can’t be a part of it. Excuse me.”

______

Taehyung finds you in the gym. It’s good to see him up and about, even if his arm is still in a sling. 

“Hey, so I need to talk to you about this, um, ape sex thing.” He fishes awkwardly into his pockets and pulls out his tablet.  Maybe Jimin was right. Is Taehyung going to be the first to take you up on your offer?

You pause your jog on the elliptical machine. You wish you weren’t so sweaty and gross for this conversation. Taehyung is such an intimidatingly attractive man with those strong eyebrows and that perfect skin. 

Taehyung opens up the tablet and flips to the form. It’s happening. He’s going to sign the form. Shit. Then what will you do? It’s one thing to say you want to have sex with your whole crew, but what if he’s hoping to go right now? You need a shower. 

Taehyung has really nice hands. Long strong fingers delicately navigating the touch screen. It seems totally improbable that a man this attractive would be into you, even if you were the only woman in the universe. It just adds to your suspicions that hormones are driving everyone crazy. Perhaps if you slept with him once, he’d lose all interest. 

He finds the form and then turns his gaze up to you, staring you down with those eyes. It’s a good thing that Taehyung rarely turns his full gaze on you, because it is almost too much to bear. Shit, is he just going to sign it? Is he waiting for you to give him some sort of signal?

“You can’t do this to Jimin,” he says.

“What?” Not what you were expecting. “Do what to Jimin?”

“This.” He gestures over the HR form. “Signing these forms with everyone. Having sex with everyone. You’re going to destroy Jimin.”

“Jimin’s the one who suggested this whole thing in the first place.” It’s a lie. You know its a lie. Or at least a gross exaggeration. But Jimin was the one who first brought up the idea of sharing. All for the benefit of the man in front of you now. 

“No way.” Taehyung scoffs, crossing his arms and raising an eyebrow. “No way was it Jimin’s idea that you sleep with the whole crew.” 

“Well…” You can’t bear his gaze anymore and look down at the floor. “He wanted me to sleep with you.”

That surprises Taehyung. He puts down the tablet. “What? Why would he want that?”

This is awkward. “He, um, thinks you’re in love with me.”

“What?” There is only surprise on Taehyung’s face. It’s actually a relief to see that Taehyung is just as shocked by that idea as you were. “Why does he think that?”

“I don’t know…” You feel kind of dumb now. Of course, Taehyung doesn’t feel that way about you. Look at him. “Cause you told him you were jealous. Cause you can’t stand to be in the same room as us…”

Taehyung bites his lip. “Oh, um, shit, sorry, that’s not what I meant.”

If Taehyung isn’t jealous of Jimin... 

“Taehyung…” He looks up, biting his lip. “What did you mean? Who are you jealous of?” 

Taehyung’s eyes widen, but he doesn’t say anything. Instead he reaches for his microphone and mutes it. Out of respect, you mute yours as well. He glances toward the camera in the corner of the room, then stands up and begins unzipping his jumpsuit. 

“Um…” You are distracted by the golden arms that peak from either side of the tank top as the zipper reaches his groin. “What are you doing?”

“Need something to block the camera.”

“We have towels,” you mutter.  But he’s already stripping out of his shirt. The musculature of his back ripples. He hangs the shirt off of the camera to block the rest of the room from view. 

“Yeah, but this way anyone watching will think we’re having sex.” His chest is just as attractive as his back and you flush at the sight of it. Mercifully, he zips back into his jumpsuit as he returns to his position in front of the exercise machine. 

“You want them to think we’re having sex?”

“Don’t you? It plays right into your whole save the mission with bonobo sex plan.”

“I suppose.” Though the plan was also supposed to be that there would be no more secrets between the crew. “What plan of yours does it play into?”

“The one where Jimin doesn’t realize I’m in love with him.”

“You’ve never tried to tell him?”

Taehyung laughs wryly and shakes his head. “How would that conversation go? Hey man, I know we’ve known each other for years and I’ve already seen you naked and that you just think of me as a friend, but I’m in love with you. I know that’s awkward but now you have to spend the next twelve years with me, knowing that I’m attracted to you when you don’t feel the same way.” Taehyung sighs. “Doesn’t sound like a good plan to me. If he doesn’t feel the same way, I’ve just ruined the friendship for nothing and then I don’t even have that.”

“Yeah… I get that.”  There’s something touching about realizing that Taehyung has been fighting the same battle as you for the last two years. 

“I couldn’t tell anyone before launch because what if they wouldn’t let me go then? You know?”

“Yeah, the director wasn’t big on sending anyone who might ‘complicate’ the mission.” The two of you share a sad knowing smile. 

“Yeah… And I thought it would be fine, you know? I like women too. I’d just date women until launch and no one would know. I wasn’t planning on falling in love with my roommate.”

“I don’t think any of us really knew what this would be like.”

“I knew it was going to be a problem. I should have pulled out…” 

Your mind flashes back to that moment of doubt when Hoseok talked you into still coming on the mission.

“But I couldn’t just let him go off into space without me. Even if he’d never feel the same way, at least he’d still be in my life.”

The emotion in Taehyung’s words makes your eyes begin to mist. “You really do love him.”

“Yeah,” Taehyung sighs again. “But he’s in love with you.”

“Well, he thinks he is.”

“What does that mean?”

“He only feels like that about me cause he thinks I’m the only option.”  You wonder if maybe he would feel differently if he knew about Taehyung’s feelings. 

Taehyung frowns and shakes his head. “You don’t give him enough credit.”

“Oh come on, you know him. How many women did he date while we were in training?”

“A few…” 

“And how many of them was he in love with before he found the next one?”  

Taehyung bites his lip. He can’t really argue with that. “So why are you with him then, if you don’t think it’s real?”

You shrug, rubbing your arm. “He wants me. It’s nice to feel wanted, I guess.”

“You know you could have that with any man on this ship right?”

You scoff. “They’re all suffering the same delusion. It’s only-available-vagina syndrome. I just want us all to fuck and get it out in the open. Maybe if we could get it out of our system, they would see I’m nothing special. And then we can get back to the mission.”

Taehyung eyes you up and down. “You don’t give yourself enough credit either.”

You shrug. “You wait and see. Jimin will get bored of me. They all will.”

The two of you both slump backwards in your seats, mulling over your shared woes.  Taehyung bends down and picks up the tablet again. “So what should I do with this?”

“Obivously, you don’t have to sign it. I should have realized that not everyone would be interested.”

“Jimin thinks I’m in love with you?”

“Yeah…”

“Is it okay if we let him think that for now? At least until I figure out how to tell him the truth?”

“Okay.”

Taehyung smiles and signs the bottom of the form, then sends it to you. Your phone lights up with a message. “Thank you,” he murmurs before he leaves. 

[specterchasing-a]

Hold On (Part One) || Eddie & Alfie

TIMING: One month ago.

LOCATION: Alfie’s apartment.

PARTIES: @yikesimonfire & @specterchasing​​

SUMMARY: Eddie wants Alfie to accompany him on a little adventure. A lot of things go unsaid, but that’s probably for the best.

CONTENT: Internalized homophobia

Eddie carefully straddled the knee-high barrier that divided the apartment balconies. With a quiet grunt, he raised his leg and landed safely on Alfie’s property. He never locked the sliding door and Eddie didn’t have the patience to wait for him in the hallway. In all likelihood, the door would be shut in his face if Alfie had the option to block him out. Eddie didn’t appreciate being rejected, so things were better this way.

“Alfie?” Eddie announced himself curiously as he opened the balcony door. “I need your help with something.”

The sound of Eddie’s voice from his living room broke Alfie’s concentration, pulling him away from the string of code he was helplessly scratching his head over. One of these days he’d learn to lock the balcony door — at least while he worked. “‘Course you do,” Alfie mumbled to himself as he ran a hand down the length of his face. 

“I’m in here,” he called out, pushing his chair away from the desk until he latched onto the doorknob. With a faint click, Alfie swung the office door open and rolled back to his desk. “This important?”

As soon as Eddie heard Alfie’s voice, he made a beeline for the office. He stood at the door, grinning from ear to ear, and offered a small wave. “All work and no play makes Alfie a dull boy. You’re aware of that, right?” he asked, leaning against the doorframe. He liked his neighbor, quite a bit actually, but he wished Alfie was a little more social. Getting him to commit to a conversation for more than a few sentences felt like pulling teeth. More often than not, Alfie regarded him with enthusiasm of someone having their teeth pulled, too. Eddie was used to it.

“It’s monumentally important, actually,” Eddie answered with a nod. “I have plans tonight, filming plans, and I want you to come with me.” He raised his brow provocatively. “I know you’re gonna say no or fabricate some brand-new illness that you don’t have, but c’mon, it could be really fun, don’t you think? We never hang out.”

Alfie’s gaze shifted from the computer screen to the doorway where Eddie stood. He wished he could wipe the smug smile from the other man’s face that came along with that ridiculous proverb. Another part of him wished Eddie’s smile wasn’t contagious. “I’ll have you know, I did not make up conjunctivitis,” retorted Alfie with the hint of a grin tugging at the corner of his mouth. He wouldn’t comment on any of his other recent ‘diagnoses’. 

“What kind of filming plans, exactly?” he asked, his fingers locked behind his head as he swiveled to face Eddie, giving him his undivided attention. It was still a long shot that Alfie would bite, but he’d entertain the idea before crushing Eddie’s hopes and dreams. 

“You sure? Sounds pretty fake to me,” Eddie said with a smirk. He knew conjunctivitis was real, but that didn’t stop him from playing dumb in the hopes that it might elicit a reaction from Alfie. He liked getting under his skin almost as much as he liked making him laugh. He wished he had more chances to do both.

“I need to go to the woods again. You know the couple that went missing recently? I saw on the news that their bodies were found somewhere near Dark Score Lake, but here’s the kicker; all that was left of them were their bones. They went missing last fuckin’ week and that’s all that’s left. Vines had already taken over the remains.”

“I have a theory about what’s behind it, but I wanna know for certain. More importantly, I want evidence.” Eddie’s gaze remained on Alfie. Barely concealed hope shone in his eyes. “So, yeah, company would be appreciated.”

“So let me get this straight…” Alfie’s brow was raised skeptically as he carefully reiterated Eddie’s proposal. “You want to go to the woods where people died… all to prove your little theory on video, and you want me to do what exactly? Be your bodyguard?” A small laugh swelled within his chest. “You’re joking, right?”

Shaking his head, Alfie turned back to his desktop. “Some bodyguard I’d be — more of a meat shield than anything else.” He knew full well that Eddie wouldn’t be that easy to turn down. He’d most likely hang around, maybe even get on his hands and knees to beg Alfie to go with him. “‘Sides, I haven’t even checked the weather. You know how my joints get when it rains. I’d only slow you down and before you know it, a week’s gone by and they’re reporting our bones on the news.”

Eddie’s mood deflated somewhat when Alfie outright laughed at his proposal. He understood but, just once, he thought it might be nice to have someone accompany him without needing to be begged. “Not a bodyguard—a friend,” he corrected him with a more mild smile than before. “Friends, y’know, do things together sometimes. Sounds zany, I know, but I hear it helps make them into even better friends.”

“I already checked the weather,” Eddie said, not that it would’ve taken Alfie more than 10 seconds to do it himself. He loved his excuses, even the fragile ones. “There shouldn’t be any rain tonight, just some wind. I wouldn’t invite you if there was even a 10% chance it would storm.” Eddie raised his chin slightly, an expectant look on his face. “You should come with me, Alfie. You’re due for a little fun.”

Much to his chagrin, Alfie hadn’t been successful at turning Eddie down. It was nothing new; he was notorious for avoiding things by the skin of his teeth. But there was something in the tone of Eddie’s voice that made Alfie’s heart sink. His eyes flickered back to Eddie whose face was drained of enthusiasm. “A friend,” Alfie parroted. It really wasn’t fair that Eddie could worm his way into his heart like this, but he had a suspicion that this feeling was not exclusive to him. It was just... Eddie. 

“Say I do go with you,” he finally chirped. “Aside from what I presume will be a fuckton of fun and friendly bonding time… What’s in it for me?” It sounded selfish, Alfie knew that. Even still, it didn’t stop him from dragging out the inevitable. “I mean, y’know, you get your video out of it too, right? Doesn’t seem like a level playing field.”

Eddie nodded when Alfie repeated the dreaded “f” word. He knew his shut-in of a neighbor didn’t value things like genuine human connections, but Eddie felt determined to make himself an exception. “Proud of you for saying it out loud, I know ‘friend’ is like an obscenity to you,” Eddie teased with his hand over his heart. He didn’t understand Alfie; the guy could be surrounded by people who loved him if he would only put forth a little effort. Eddie would be among them, no question.

As Alfie spoke up again, Eddie’s brow raised in hopeful curiosity. The questions that followed immediately made it fall into a furrow. “That’s so fucked up,” he asserted. “I offer you pure platonic love and you’re telling me it’s not enough motivation for you, Alfie Ramirez?” He pushed off from the doorframe and firmly planted his hands on either hip. “You’re lucky that I don’t have more dignity, is all I’m saying. What do you want? Money? My HBOMax login info? Name it, you greedy fuck. Your wish is my command.”

Alfie’s face flushed when Eddie drew attention to his repetition of the word ‘friend’. In truth, Alfie hadn’t noticed he’d done it at all, though he could understand why it stood out. Things like that didn’t usually bear repeating. "Har har," he rolled his eyes. Alfie wasn't about to die on a hill proclaiming he had more friends than he knew what to do with. Eddie might have been his neighbor, but he was also the closest Alfie had to a friend in years. 

A terse laugh escaped his lips at the mention of "pure platonic love". With a broad grin, Alfie quickly intercepted. "No, Ed. You offered imminent death. But same difference, right?" The smile never wavered from his face as he listened to Eddie prattle off various options. The corner of his mouth twitched mischievously. "I already have your HBOMax login, by the way. You really need to change your passwords," he smirked.

Alfie wasn't usually someone who wanted for anything; he kept to himself and got what he needed. But there was one thing that would make it worthwhile. "Alright, fine. I'll go with you," he decided. "But after all's said and done, you owe me a box of Baby Ruths. I'm talkin' unopened retail box, nothin' but Baby Ruth goodness inside."

Imminent death. Eddie rolled his eyes playfully. “You are so dramatic,” he insisted. Most of his content-related adventures were potentially perilous but, lo and behold, Eddie still had a pulse. He couldn’t imagine what would make tonight any different. “You’re stealing from me?” he asked, feigning shock. “I’ll change them immediately, alfieisatool69 should do just fine—wait, shit, I shouldn’t have said that out loud.” Truthfully, Eddie couldn’t care less if Alfie used his login info, it felt like something friends would do. Granted, friends probably asked first, but that was neither here nor there.

“That’s it?” Eddie asked. “You could have asked for anything in the world and you went with candy bars.” It would’ve been physically impossible for him to be grinning any wider. “You’re a simple kind of guy, I respect that. Consider those candy bars signed, sealed, and delivered. Now, get your shit and let’s go solve a murder.”

“Technically,” Alfie stressed, unlocking his hands from behind his head to raise one of his fingers, “I’m stealing from WarnerMedia.” His brow raised at the new password Eddie threw out. After a brief lull, Alfie’s hands dropped to the arm rests of his chair, and gave a soft snort. “Alfieisatool69 — really? You’d use my name as a password? Gotta be honest with ya, Ed, that’s kinda gay.” Throughout their years as neighbors, Eddie’s feet remained firmly planted in his heterosexuality. It was rare that Alfie made friends at all, let alone with straight guys. This, he figured, was exactly the kind of ribbing to be expected in the friendship dynamic they shared — not that he had anything to compare it to. 

With a shrug, Alfie pushed himself from his seat. “What can I say? I’m a sucker for a good nougat.” No amount of candy bars would be able to prepare him for what was sure to come. But Alfie wasn’t in the position to demand egregious compensation when someone he considered a friend was essentially begging for his company. 

“What all do I need?” he finally asked as he slipped his wallet into his back pocket.

Eddie’s hand raised and mimicked a flapping jaw when Alfie corrected him with a technicality. When his new password was deemed gay, he scoffed. “You caught me—I’m so gay for you, the guy I need to bribe to spend time with me.” Eddie’s lips pursed as he proffered an exaggerated shrug. “I think if I was gay, which I’m not, I’d probably be more interested in someone who, I dunno, liked spending time with me.” He sounded more terse than he intended to, as if what he said held more genuine feelings than it did. So he thought, anyway. “The syphilis is also kind of a turn-off,” he added to make-up for the weight of his previous comment.

“Whatever the Alfie-essentials are. We’re just going to the woods and I’ve already got all of the filming equipment packed and ready to go,” Eddie informed him with a bright grin. “You are so not gonna regret this.”

“You caught me—I’m so gay for you...” The declaration caught Alfie off guard. For a moment he could feel his heart racing in his chest. After all this time? But before he could say anything irrational, Eddie pulled him back down to Earth fast enough to give him whiplash. Same old Eddie; he shouldn’t have been surprised.

Alfie was silent for a moment as he shuffled into a pair of sneakers haphazardly strewn across the floor. “Oh, right — the syphilis,” he half-laughed. “Good news is, Doc says I’m cured! I would have mentioned it sooner if I’d known that was a deal-breaker for you.” With a low grunt, he wiggled his heel into its shoe and scooped his phone up from the desk.

“Just gotta grab my keys,” Alfie added with a nod towards the office door, hoping Eddie would lead the way out so he didn’t have to walk past him. He didn’t know what else to say. Eddie didn’t think he enjoyed their time together; that much was made clear by the resulting whiplash. Granted, Alfie hadn’t given him reason to believe otherwise, but that didn’t keep him from climbing the balcony rails to visit. 

You could start by apologizing, his inner voice rang. While Alfie knew he probably should, he was worried it wouldn’t seem genuine enough. “You’re wrong, by the way,” he offered instead. He refused to make eye-contact and instead stared at the floor, but it was a start. “I like spending time with you. I mean, y’know… when it doesn’t pull me away from work. But — I do.”

“Well, clearly, we have no choice but to run away together, if that’s the case,” Eddie teased. He hated the way he didn’t hate the sound of that. He liked Alfie a lot, too much for comfort sometimes. Eddie noticed little things about his neighbor that shouldn’t have stood out to him: the rasp in his voice when he first woke up, the flash of his teeth when he spoke, the subtle crinkle around his eyes when he smiled. Seeing all of that and having his heart push him to do things he didn’t want to was agonizing. He told himself that must be what caring about a friend felt like, and usually he could convince himself to believe that, but sometimes…. Sometimes, he knew better.

Eddie stepped aside to let Alfie pass. To his surprise, he had something to say before he did. He studied his friend’s face as he spoke; flash of teeth, he was fucked. For the first time since he arrived, Eddie’s face bore a serious expression. “You do?” he asked before he could catch himself. “I mean, yeah, I was only teasing.… I know you do, Alfie.” He offered him a small smile. “Let’s get out of here.”

Alfie managed to skirt past Eddie with minimal effort; head lowered and shoulders down. Something in the way the other man spoke made it sound like a suggestion rather than a jest. He couldn’t afford to think like that. Besides, no matter how much truth it held, Alfie was better off alone. He’d die sooner than later and he wasn’t going to put his friend — or anyone for that matter — in that situation. 

“That’s what this is all about, right?” Alfie teased back, deciding that was what was expected of him. “I thought that’s what ‘let’s go solve a murder’ was code for.” 

In no time at all, he led the way down the short hall, only stopping at the front door long enough to snatch the keys off the hand-me-down entry-way table. “Cool,” blurted Alfie as he nodded along. “I didn’t want you thinking I don’t want you around, y’know?” His eyes shot up to meet Eddie’s for a brief moment and flashed an apologetic smile as he held the door open for him.

[marikafromcincy]

“For All Mankind: Ellen and Pam”

So, this is my fic about Ellen Waverly and Pam from For All Mankind. Because you can’t combine women driven historical workplace dramas with queernees and anything related to “Bomb Girls” without me showing up. So I really connected to Ellen Waverly, as the queer, Sally Ride-ish astronaut, who is far less bold because the subtle sci-fi elements of the show upped the timeline for th space race

Anyway, here is my fic about For All Mankind:

Ellen Waverly knew she was having a nightmare.

For as long as she could remember, she could tell in the nightmare that she was having a nightmare. It did not make it any better during it, but it was easier when she woke up sometimes. She had been having the same one since she had taken over command of the Jamestown base. It always started with Deke in the Apollo 25 ship laughing at her after she told him about Pam. It was so strange and out of place that she didn’t know how to feel about it, not in the actual situation or in the nightmare. But in the nightmare, sometimes while he was saying his last declaration to her, he morphed into Frank.

She would then launch herself out of the hatch with the clip in her hand to latch onto the tanks Ed had mis-thrown over. Most of the time the tanks morphed into Pam, dressed for a shift at the Outpost and not wearing a space suit. One time she was in a spacesuit and that made if even worse that so often she wasn’t. Ellen would watch her be affected by exposure to deep space in all its incredible and terrible detail. She then usually woke up.

On her 40th day at Jamestown, Ellen started awake violently. Thankfully she had learned to stop jerking up in her sleep after banging her head on the bunk above her the first few nights.

There was a crackling coming from the communications and video-link booth near the shower. Ellen groaned as she pulled the screen covering her bunk down toward her feet but continued laying on her back with her eyes closed.

“Broadcasting live on Jamestown Radio 1, it’s everyone’s favorite astro-husband and wife duo,” Gordo’s tinny voice said as it filled the base.

“The Stevens!” Tracy chimed in. “And a wake-up call and good morning shout out to our favorite listener, Ellen Wilson. Wake up, darlin’. We got an update for you.”

Ellen smiled and shook her head to herself on her bunk as she rubbed her face and jumped down. She placed the nearby headset over her hair, which she had taken to keeping in a ponytail as she slept since the shower was so finnicky.

“Long time listener, first time caller,” Ellen joked at the audio-only connection to Houston. “What’s the update?”

“We regret to inform you that Apollo 26, your relief mission, has been delayed,” Tracy told her slowly. Ellen could almost imagine the her biting her lip as she reluctantly gave her the information.

“Two weeks?” Ellen asked shaking her head. She had heard from Gordo, Dani, and Ed that it was always two weeks.

“Two weeks,” Gordo confirmed. “But for some good news, your supply transport should be arriving in a few hours.”

“Good,” Ellen replied nodding to herself. She was down to her least favorite food packets.

“There’s some exciting stuff in there,” Tracy told her.

“Oh, really?” Ellen replied, assuming she was joking.

“Don’t ask me how she did it,” Gordo explained sounding impressed. “But Dani managed to get you six episodes of ‘MASH’ and a copy of ‘Robin Hood’.”

“Well that’s better than the single Frank Sinatra record that Ed left here,” Ellen stated, drawing a laugh from both of them.

“And even I don’t know what magic she used,” Tracy began, matching Gordo’s impressed tone. “But Karen managed to get two care packages in there.”

The three of them were all silent for a moment.

“You doin’ alright there, darlin’?” Tracy asked seriously.

Ellen was relieved that they could not see her. “Yes,” she lied to them. “I’m fine. 40 days, just me and two Soviets on the moon. What could possibly be wrong?”

Down in Mission Control at JAC in Houston, Tracy motioned to her husband beside her with a serious expression. Gordo nodded to her, for she of course was right.

“You, uh, know, Ellen,” Gordo began with an awkwardness that his wife could clearly see but Ellen could only slightly hear. “Trace is only here because Dani is getting’ her cast removed today. So…um…if you want to just talk with other Jamestown vets, we can set that up for you. We all went through some shit up there and…and we’ll get you whatever you want regardless of it is.”

Ellen felt all her emotions rise painfully to her chest. She covered her mouth and silenced her reaction from the Stevens for a moment, she just needed a little bit of processing time.

“I’m fine, Gordo,” she lied. “I’m fine.”

“Okay, okay,” he replied. He waited for a moment as if he was waiting for her to say something else. Ellen was thankful that he did not force her into anything. “Houston, out.”

“Jamestown, out,” she replied.

She pulled off the headset and peered around the empty base. She was utterly alone. At first, she thought she might enjoy the aloneness, but having aloneness on Earth was not the same here. She could spend endless nights alone in her apartment but call her friends or brothers or Pam, when she was willing to speak with her, if she wanted to. But she had no such options at Jamestown. She was alone and there was no escaping it.

She consumed her food packet and then prepared to head out to the ice mine. It always seemed like such a slow and starkly beautiful yet boring rover ride to the crater. She often wondered if Ed ever imagined if he had been in his flashy corvette as he did the desolate drive. She had taken to imagining herself in the passenger seat of Pam’s orange Volkswagen Passat. It was such an average car for an average American girl and in so many ways that was all that Pam was.

Ellen knew that. She knew that in her heart and her soul and that was part of why she loved Pam so much. She had always thought she had to be extraordinary in every single aspect of her life to ever matter, but then after a few months of intense friendship Pam began displaying that she loved her. It was almost too much for Ellen at first. She was beginning noticed by someone who finally truly saw who she was and none of it matter. She still wanted her, even though she was going to disrupt her perfectly average life forever.

Ellen laughed at herself. She was worrying about ruining a gay woman bartender’s life as she mined ice on the moon. It was absurd. That was why she ended it, right? The whole goddamn thing was impossible.

Once she returned to Jamestown, she ran through her list of experiments inside the base. While she was writing an update on Dani’s ants while listening to Frank Sinatra, the communications booth began to buzz with an incoming video call. Ellen sat on the stool in front of it and placed the headset over her unwashed, greasy hair.

“P-Pam,” she shuttered in surprise at the woman on the other end of the video call.

“Hey,” the bartender said with such a normal and casual smile, Ellen almost forgot that their main conflict had been caused by her being on the moon.

Ugh, stop that, Ellen scolded herself. Her being an astronaut or stationed on the moon was never the main issue between her and Pam, she had realized during her isolation. She had been a goddamn idiot. A beautiful, understanding, accepting woman, who even knew a shit load about her career, loved her and was never even nervous about what their gender or sexuality would mean to their communities. Maybe it was flippant and careless, but it was also brave and bold, and Ellen only ever wanted to be that. But it seemed like a far cry from her stool in front of the video link at Jamestown

“Hi,” Ellen told her awkwardly. “It is good to see you.”

Pam scoffed. “You really mean that, Ellen?”

[unpack-my-heart]

Above, Beneath, Betwixt, Between - Chapter Six

@violetreddie @tinyarmedtrex @xandertheundead @constantreaderfool @mrs-vh @eds-trashmouth @burymestanding @annoyingtozier

Read on AO3 HERE

“This won’t hurt a bit”

Eddie flinches, face twisting in horror at Stan’s outstretched hand.

Richie scrunches his hands into fists, fingernails digging deep welts into the soft flesh of his palm.

He knows that Eddie’s scared. Even though his face looks as it always does, solid but not quite, flesh-coloured but not really, Richie can tell that he’s scared. He’d grown quite good at reading Eddie now, like an old paperback, dog-eared and over-read. Mike’s outside. He’s watching Mr. Chips frolic in the lake, chasing sticks and stones and his shiny red ball that Mike keeps chucking into the water. Richie watches the dog out of the corner of his eye, and, if just for a moment, he forgets.

But then Eddie makes a noise, a choked sort of noise, caught half-way between a whimper and a cough, and he remembers. Of course he remembers.

Eddie. Eddie. Eddie who had looked at Richie with pleading, insistent eyes, muttering “Rich? I -- I don’t know if I can do this without you” when they’d been sat outside on the decking, moon watching, stars listening.

Stan had erected what looked like a large metal tube in the centre of Richie’s living room. It was almost as tall as the ceiling, and Stan had babbled the whole time that it took him to build the device, hair swept off his face with a thick elastic headband, eyes sparkling. Eddie hadn’t moved for hours, just stood in the corner of the room, watching Stan like a rabbit watches a fox. Cautious, ready to skitter away into the safety of the undergrowth at a moment’s notice. Richie crouches down next to Stan, leaning close enough so that when they speak in hushed tones, Eddie won’t hear them.

“Are you sure this won’t hurt him?”

Stan didn’t look up, and continued fiddling with one of the cables.

“I told you. He can’t feel pain, at least, not yet”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean! Not yet,” Richie hissed, scandalized.

“Well, he might feel a, well, he might feel a tingling sensation if this works”

“What do you mean if!”

Stan looked at him, face a careful mask of cool indifference.

“I told you. This is never a guarantee. Energy is -- look, energy is complicated. It’s far more complicated than you could ever imagine. Manipulating it, it’s hard. It’s more than hard. It’s almost impossible. It doesn’t always work”

“What happens if it doesn’t work?”

“Do you really want to know?”

“Should I know?”

Stan put the cable he was holding down, and stood up, wiping his hands on his jeans before offering one to Richie. Richie accepted it, and let Stan haul him to his feet.

“Richie. I want you to be prepared, for … for the worst possible outcome. There are three outcomes, as I see it. Three outcomes I’ve seen before, anyway. The one we want, the one that will probably happen is that this process works and I can pull him through and he’ll be corporeal again. It could go a bit wrong, though. Bits of him might … not convert. He might be, missing things”

“Missing things?” Richie whispered, voice faint.

“Maybe. Maybe missing things. Probably not.”

“What’s the third outcome?”

“Well, the third outcome is that I lose him”

“Like, you misplace him?”

“Sort of. The worst outcome is that he gets absorbed into the reaction and I can’t stop it in time to pull him back out again, if that happens, we need to, you need to --”

A shrill beeping noise cut through Stan’s words.

Richie grabbed his phone off the table, and glanced at the screen.

From: Mike Hanlon (Plumber):

Calm the fuck down, Rich. Breathe. I can tell that you’re freaking him out from out here.

Richie looked up, and locked eyes with Mike, who was still outside with Mr. Chips but was now gesturing wildly at Eddie, who still hadn’t moved.

“I’m calm, Staniel. I’m calm as a fucking serene stream in Norway. Explain to me again how all this works?”

Stan huffed, “I’ve told you this about fifty times now. The accelerator is a large circular metal chute, sort of like a waterslide, or an inside athletics track. We fire electrons into this chute, and they accelerate around a magnetic field. So, once they reach around three-hundred thousand kilometres per second, they shoot out of a small opening, bounce off a small slab of gold, and smashes into Eddie and, hopefully, he’ll be recorporialised!”

“So it’s based on luck?”

“It’s not nothing to do with luck!” Stan snapped, stalking over to the control panel of the device, “it’s not anything to do with luck and everything to do with science. If my calculations are correct, and they almost always are, it’ll go without a hitch”

“And what if your calculations are wrong?”

“Well, I suppose the absolute worst case scenario is that I might accidentally create a very small black hole,” Stan said, breezily, as if he hadn’t just admitted that this process could cause the end of the world as they knew it.

“A black hole?!”

“Well, I’ve never created one before, so I have no reason to think I’ll create one now”

“So I assume you’ve done loads of these reanimation things before then?”

“Recorporealisations,” Stan corrects, “and I’ve done … enough. Enough to know I won’t create a black hole”

“How many is enough?”

“I have done six”

“SIX!” Richie practically screeches, a noise so high it scratches at the back of his throat.

“It’s six more than you’ve ever done! Look, I need you to stop second guessing me, Rich. I’m good at this. I know exactly what I’m doing. You’ve gotta trust me if you want this to work”

“I trust you”

Both Stan and Richie turn around in shock. It’s Eddie. Eddie who has barely spoken for the past seven hours, Eddie who Richie was half-expecting to disappear through the floorboards, his new favourite trick, and never appear again. Eddie, who Richie had grown … used to. Eddie had become a fixture of Richie’s life in a split second, swift enough that it was unnoticeable. As reliable and constant as the tide.

– x –

They’re standing outside Richie’s house. It’s dark. The house is silent and still, a statue in the fog. Stan’s stood next to the kitchen tapping away on a thing that looked like a circuit-board. Mike caught Richie’s hand in his as soon as they’d stepped out into the garden. Eddie was inside. Eddie was inside, alone, standing inside Stan’s homemade electron collider, and Richie wasn’t with him. Richie had allowed himself to be ushered outside, like a sheep, to await further instruction.

He’d left Eddie alone, inside what was for all intents and purposes a large metal box, waiting to have electrons slammed into his chest at hundreds of thousands of kilometres an hour.

“Are we doing the right thing?” he asked no one in particular. Only the wind responded.

Stan was shouting through the living room window, and Richie could hear Eddie’s replies, voice floating on the breeze like autumn leaves. Scared, shaky but sure.

“Now, when I yell ‘hold your breath’, that’s when you’ll know the machine has been turned on”

“Do I actually have to hold my breath?” Eddie responds, and Stan grins.

“Yeah, if you breathe out you might expel some energy and then you might wake up with no lungs!”

Richie’s stomach drops. “Stan?” He asks, voice and hands trembling.

“It was a joke! Eddie, Eddie, I’m joking, you don’t have to hold your breath, you’re going to be fine. We all good? We all ready? Alright then, gang, wagons roll! EDDIE! HOLD YOUR BREATH”

– x –

Nothing happened.

Richie expected a repeat of earlier, with the huge blooming mushroom of light, the fire in the sky, the noise. Instead, his nerves were rewarded with silence.

The silence stretched until it was thin and flabby, until it had wrapped its way around his throat multiple times, constricting, suffocating, until he could take it no longer.

“Did it work?”

“We haven’t been sucked into a black hole, so it worked in that respect”

Richie ripped a handful of grass out of the sodden earth and threw it at Stan’s head. A ridiculous display of rage.

“You know full fucking well that isn’t what I meant”

“We have to wait fifteen minutes. It needs to cool down, Eddie needs to … Eddie’s going to be in a lot of pain right now, his body is … unstable. He needs to fight it alone”

“He’s in pain?! If you don’t want more grass shoved down your fuckin’ oesophagus you’ll get the fuck out of my way”

Mike immediately yanked him back, a strong arm wrapped around Richie’s heaving chest.

“I know yer scared for him, kid. I know. You gotta trust Stan, okay, if he says we cannae’ go in, we cannae’ go in. He’s fine, it’s gonna be fine,” Mike muttered into Richie’s ear, low and steady.

“Richie, if you touch him, he’ll explode. His body isn’t stable. You’ll kill him,” Stan said, plainly.

Richie wrestled against Mike’s arm, occasionally yelling Eddie’s name fruitlessly into the night.

Fifteen minutes came and went. Stan didn’t move.

“What are we waiting for, Stan? I wanna go get my boy”

“Let him come to you, Richie,” Stan said, staring through the living room window, an odd expression on his face.

Richie was about to ask what was wrong, when the door swung open. A man stood in the door way. A man who was entirely naked, apart from a sheet he’d draped over himself in a sort of makeshift toga. A man with wild hair, strong shoulders and one arm.

Eddie.

[courage-a-word-of-justice]

Magia Record 4 | Uchitama 3 - 5 | Eizouken 5 | Iruma-kun 17 - 18 | BnHA 76 - 79 | ID: Invaded 5 - 7

Magia Record 4

There’s a fish behind Iroha. Also, I was confused about the ketchup cake thing Jenn mentiond in one of her posts until I saw it here.(On a related note, ketchup cake seems to really exist…but only in Canada.)

Ah! Tsuruno. I’ve heard of her from reading around about this mobage.

The coding of the episode went funny again…

I feel like despite this being everything Madoka was, this seems to have lost some of the charm somehow. I’ve been reading that others are having similar experiences, though. Update: I think I know why now…although there are magical girl events fuelling the entire thing, the show is currently more bent on being a CGDCT. That’s why I’m not so happy with it…I dunno about others, though.

I suspected Séance Shrine was Mizuna Shrine…I mean, it was right behind Iroha and co.

Who was that blonde girl…?

I thought I just saw face-stealing aliens swoop in (i.e. someone didn’t bother drawing in the girls’ faces). I thought that was just a Bones thing exclusive to BSD.

“Olibe oil” (sic). Also, there are creepy blue (green?) figures walking the aisles…

I notice Iroha needed an extra bounce to get over the gate.

What’s that orange marking on the girls’ faces��? Update: Reading the wiki reveals it’s the Witch’s Kiss, or something similar to it.

Uchitama 3

Well, it says “chome” but gets translated to “street”…which is a bit weird. A chome is a city district, which functions much like a street but isn’t the same.

I just realised the title card has a dog’s face on it. Maybe next time it’ll be a cat’s face…

Oh my gosh, it’s a Yu-Gi-Oh duel! Teenager-ness…(?) What is that (LOL)?! *squints at screen* Oh, chuunibyou. That makes sense.

They even materialised the (Gon’s) chair! (LOL)

At least this matchup isn’t Bull vs. Momo…thank goodness(!)

I seriously love how much skin they make Bull show…(LOL…?)

Well, if the race to the top is exciting then the race to the bottom should be humiliating, no? That’s how these things work.

LOL, just seeing a badass dude that’s meant to represent a wolf howling like one is hilarious. (But seriously, are any of these neighbourhood dogs a Bad Enough Dude, to paraphrase an old game meme?)

Don’t Naruto run, Pochi! It’s dangerous!

Ahhhhhhh, so that’s why people call Pochi “Shiro” and feed him tofu…

The video got encoded funny again…

Uchitama 4

This is like Wakasa all over again…

The “My Name is Gon” title is a reference to “I Am a Cat” (Wahagai wa Neko de Aru). It actually doesn’t have the word for “name” in there, which is a bit weird…Update: It’s about the day-to-day introspection and life of a cat and the wagahai suggests the cat thinks rather highly of himself, so I’d assume the former (applied to a dog of course), if not both of those things to be part of this.

The fact that Gon doesn’t move his mouth while telling us weird things (such as how Bull’s sweater reminds him of an old lady in Osaka) is hilarious. It’s almost like a play with Gon as narrator.

See? That titlecard has a different dog’s face now! (I believe it’s Kuro’s, actually.)

This series is actually really informative about cats and dogs!

The Detective Conan parody cat is pretty interesting in regards to how the series wants to play with the human/animal dichotomy.

Now the titlecard has a cat’s face.

This song is so energetic! The banners are pretty funny too – I mean, “trying to get a ripped body” is impossible for a dog, right?

Yyyyyyyyup, Ume is singing this song (Sanchome no Hoshi* or The Star of 3rd District*)! I’m being spoilt!

Eizouken 5

Iron Giant…I thought the name sounded familiar. Turns out it’s a Brad Bird-directed movie.

This episode is very Scott...LOL.

I like how they showed the back of the guy to correspond with the back of the robot.

Iruma 17

Gap = sukima, as you might know from a post I made re: Mairimashita! Iruma-kun puns.

“Yes, boss!” in English.

Why do people being questioned  at a koban always have katsudhum? (Hataraku Maousama reference)

Ooh, this long-haired demon from the Game or New Magic battler is hot!!!

That's the 1st time Acchan and Bakemi appear...

I'd assume the ga in Gabuko means gakkou (school).

Now it's ki su ma...(instead of sukima)

Iruma 18

Aw, Kiriwo's so cute...

...and he's now a sadist. (Good job, me...I don't like sadists much.)

The cyclops girl's name is Dosanko, huh?

Hanabi are "fire flowers" (translating somewhat literally), which is why they "bloom" in the translation.

Update: Oh, I accidentally skipped ep. 17. I was wondering how Sabro got to hold up Comecome's stall…

BnHA 76

I’m not sure how the subbers got “Go entropy! Plus Chaos!”, although it might have something to do with Saikou da! (which I made out from listening to the audio).

Okay, now you can hear them say “Plus Chaos”.

Note Overhaul’s eyecatch background is purple, which contrasts Deku’s green. By the way, the eyecatch says that Overhaul belongs to the Shie Hassaikai and not the League…the guy’s always been picky about not being associated with the League.

The one time I turn the volume off, I don’t need it (LOL).

Dame da is closer to “It’s useless” or “You’re useless” than “Naughty girl”, subbers.

The coronavirus has taught me that masks make people seem less human, especially those with weird mouths like Overhaul’s plague doctor/bird one.

BnHA 77

In one of the Discord servers where Mudamaid appears, I decided to take Chronostasis. Why? He isn’t that bad-looking when he hasn’t got his mask on, to be real with you.

Froppy uses “senpai”, not Tamaki’s hero name.

I believe Tamaki calls Tsuyu “Kero-chan”, hence “Miss Ribbit”.

I wanna cry…I know Nighteye won’t see All Might again until All Might himself dies…(and this is because I’ve read the manga – thanks Viz and Shonen Jump for doing that!)

Shigaraki makes me beg the question…where do those hands of his come from??? Update: Ewwwwwwwww, those hands come from individuals affected by Tomura’s Quirk! (I think that’s a spoiler though…)

I almost got to the point of crying. I mean, I knew it would happen, but seeing it animated…makes it worse, y’know??? (Also, I accidentally might’ve stuck my finger in my eye when I was trying to wipe away tears, so either way, I teared up.)

BnHA 78

Huh? This OP is awfully cheerful after Nighteye’s death…I think it’s called Star Maker? Update: Star Marker by Kana Boon.

Well, you do realise I don’t know about anything after this point…all over again. So your surprise will be mine too.

LOL , it’s a Titan! (Apparently – according to the wiki pages I read – Gigantomachia is based on the Titans of lore, so…that’s true in more than one sense when you take into account Attack on Titan.)

The birbs are so cute!

That was just a few solid minutes of recap. Not as bad as Detective Conan where they frontend it, but still bad.

Hmm? I thought I saw black hair on Kurogiri…?

“He’s a walking disaster.” – That’s what I’d say about Bakugou, LOL.

Shouto “Daddy Issues” Todoroki taking the stage again…not that I mind, but…isn’t this Midoriya’s story?

I think I saw a Funko Pop All Might in the ED…?

You can see someone with a red wing Quirk. Based on what I’ve read around, that guy is Hawks.

Deku’s shirt at the end says “sheets”, not “shirt” (it’s missing a small ya).

BnHA 79

“…and I like udon better!” - *facepalm* That’s not how you make friends, Yoarashi.

Gang Orca’s like the Gordon Ramsay of heroes…with much less swearing.

*laughs behind hands as kids spill out the door* Welp, this is going to be real good.

This blonde kid is basically Monoma ver. 2!!! I hate him already!!!

Oh…that’s surprisingly strategic, Bakugou…*shows image of kid being dangled by a rope* Uh…or maybe not.

Who’s this guy with the bolo tie, anyway…?

Uchitama 5

I seriously thought this cat was Nora…(Sakura)

Does “big sister” refer to Lilly or another cat…?

Oh, I was wondering why Sakura didn’t have a cat tail…turns out she’s a pig. (Huh. It reminds me of a kinder version of the Africa Salaryman mixer joke.)

I like how open the series is in regards to interspecies love. Then again,…bestiality is an absolute no-no in my books, so maybe not.

Is it just me, or is there a slight bruise around Nora’s left eye…?

It’s like a Boueibu reunion! Shirai and Ume at the baths! Yay~!

There’s something absolutely silly about seeing anime boys hide in cupboards like cats. It puts a stupid smile on my face, like Eizouken does.

“I told you to get in the bath already!” – Gaddammit, Koma!

How do Gon’s glasses not fog up in the bath? (MST3K mantra required)

Oh, Nora does have a bruise around his eye! What’s it from, though?

Way to upsell Koma’s services, Kuro. (partially sarcastic…?)

“Can I say we’re having a doggone good time?” – Remind me to check what that sounds like in Japanese later. Update: Kuro says something that sounds lik izoizo in the line beforehand and then matches it in this line. In order to match the puns, there’s a pun in the English translation too.

ID: Invaded 5

Matsuoka’s glasses thing reminds me of Kanamori (Eizouken)…

“hole experience” – Is that a pun…?

Never ask a woman her age.

Hmm…”maidenly innocence”…

Why do some people believe “never mind” is one word???

I just noticed there’s a differently coloured bar on the title card…maybe that’s how far into the episode you should be. Also, is this well a pun on “falling for you”?

I noticed the blood had a weird texture to it. Also, I noticed the woman had heterochromia bfore it was pointed out she’s not real.

I have a theory. See, John(nie) Walker is an alcohol (sake) brand, right? This is Sakaido (as opposed to Anaido, who’s the Perforator and ana = hole). It’s the same character, so (I suspect) Sakaido’s crime has to do with alcohol…

Hmm…this ain’t gonna pass the Bechdel test after all…

Oh! Post-credits segment! Keep watching.

ID: Invaded 6

“Matsuoka was injured” – Er, he still has the knife in him…?

Ohhhhhh…this has gotta be Hondomachi!

I predict Hondomachi and Sakaido are going to go head-to-head someday. Update: Or those two vs. Johnnie Walker.

There was a cut-off footprint…

Isn’t it possible for a person to kill someone without knowing their name?

*cries* Sakaido! I’ve never seen you so emotional before…!

ID: Invaded 7

So Narihisago did look like Sakaido at one point…when his daughter was murdered.

The thing that reads cognition particles has “Back ground. Rad. Lev.” on the bottom of its screen.

I don’t have the sound on right now, so I dunno what Matsuoka was reacting to specifically…(aside from the guy owning up to whatever was done.)

Interestingly, Katsuyama has the character for “win” in his name. However, this is the only link I’ve found between the serial killers and their names.

There’s a character which appears in both the word for “martial arts” and one of the (dead) professional fighters – Takehiko Fujita. It means stuff like “war” and “military power”.

Oh! There’s a bar on the titlecard and this one is up to 900 of 1200…I wonder what that means? Is that an indication of time, perhaps? Also in the bottom left, “CAM 025”.

Miyo Hijiriido?! Oh my gosh! This is new, indeed!

Okay, so the characters for Miyo look like this: 聖井戸 御代 The first character in “Miyo” is the same one that denotes “go” in goryoushin (formal way to denote “parents”) and similar words in keigo. The characters which aren’t “well” (water well) are the character for “saint/holy” and “age” (as in the period of time, alternatively “generation”), aside from the one I’ve already discussed. Therefore, I’d suggest Miyo is actually “the great detective [who ushers in a new] age” or “the great detective [of the current] age”. Update: Apparently Miyo means “age of a ruler”, as in the period of their reign (specifically referring to the emperor if it needs to be). I’ve heard there’s specific words in the Japanese language used only to refer to the imperial family…this is probably one of them. That specific name combo (as “odai”) is also a very polite way to refer to spare change, although that doesn’t seem very useful to know.

What’s that thing on Tamotsu’s wrist…? (A watch? Wouldn’t that be illegal in a prison like this?)

Interestingly, all other killers wear white. Narihisago is the only one in black (or brown…or whatever colour that is).

What would Miyo need a key for? The key to the mystery, or a physical key?

I don’t think you can see Narihisago’s face in any of the pics he has of Muku or his wife.

Ooh…Sakaido’s pretty ripped. (Me likey…not that I would like a killer…)

Why is Sakaido…or I should say Narihisago…dead in his own imagination, huh?

Hmm…Miyo wears a black singlet or sleeveless top of some sort under that cape...poncho…Holmes cosplay thing. She still has a gun in her detective form, too.

Notably, no detective wears a skirt in this world…*sigh* So much for Nancy Drew and Miss Marple…

Muku has smiley faces on her hair decs.

Does that mean you’ve met the real Muku…? (I think this is Momoki speaking about Muku.) Update: It might be Habutae, actually. I never really got a grasp on the names of the peanut gallery.

Hondomachi’s never seen the cockpit in real life, right?

Well-ception! (It’s a bit of a joke that when there’s something in something, I call it [X]ception as a homage to Inception.)

Table flip! That meme hasn’t been around for a while, come to think of it…

I find it interesting that they point to the circles of the roof when talking about pi. As you know, the circle and pi are related.

Hmm? I don’t remember seing the quote “Let us try to make this world a better place” in this episode…

[thinkingaboutyoungroyals]

Who Waits For Love (Chapter 6)

Summary: T.J. Kippen lost his chance to tell Cyrus Goodman how he felt when they were in the 8th grade. Now, they are in their junior year of high school and Cyrus is on his 3rd relationship. Is it time to give up… or continue to wait for love?

A/N: I don’t know if you guys will love me or hate me after this.

The drive home was silent. Cyrus puffed his cheeks and tapped his fingers against his knee. The silence, normally comfortable to him, was incredibly tense. He could practically feel the electricity in the air, but not the good kind.

T.J. was clearly bothered by something. He had joined Cyrus in the car with his jaw clenched, refusing to meet him in the eye for some reason. And his grip on the steering wheel was so tight that Cyrus could see his knuckles turning white.

“T.J.?” he called out, softly. “Is everything okay?”

The blonde jumped a little before shaking his shoulders. “Yeah, I’m fine. Why?”

Cyrus huffed. “You’re lying. Pull over.”

“Cyrus-.”

“Please. You’re distracted. We’ll get into an accident if you keep driving like that.”

It was the right thing to say. T.J. would never allow anything to happen to them, if he could help it. He moved the car to the side and killed the engine. Sighing loudly, the blonde leaned his head back against the headrest of his seat, closing his eyes.

The sight worried Cyrus. T.J. seemed fine before they left school. He was his usual funny and affectionate self. It was only after…

Cyrus bit his lip. “Did something happen with Aidan?”

The blonde stiffened. Slowly, he opened his eyes and visibly swallowed.

“T.J.?”

His friend turned to look at him, looking conflicted. “Um… Aidan… asked me out… on a date.”

Cyrus’ chest tightened and his stomach flopped unpleasantly. “O-Oh?” he managed.

T.J. pursed his lips. “Yeah. It was… unexpected.”

“I didn’t even know he was gay,” was all he could say.

“Apparently, neither does he.” T.J. seemed to hesitate before continuing. “He said he’s trying to figure things out with himself. And… I guess going out on a date with me might help him confirm things.”

Cyrus’ brow furrowed. “Is he okay with you telling me?’

“I… I think so. I don’t know. I just… I needed to tell you.”

He smiled, kindly. “Don’t worry. I can keep secrets.”

T.J. appeared to hesitate again before saying, “He asked if you were my boyfriend.”

Cyrus’ heart sped up. “And what did you say?”

“That we’re best friends.”

“Oh. Okay.” Cyrus clasped his hands on his lap, tightly. It wasn’t like it was a lie. They were best friends. “So…what was your answer?”

T.J. sighed. “Um.”

Cyrus almost laughed if the whole thing wasn’t so serious. “You said… um?”

The blonde looked almost embarrassed now. “Yeah, kinda.”

“Are you Andi?” Cyrus snorted.

Finally, T.J. broke into his first real smile since he entered the car. “I guess I listened to her tell the story many times that it just got stuck in my head.” He chuckled. “But, I told him that I would think about it.” He met Cyrus’ eyes. “What do I do?”

Why was T.J. asking him? Well, he was touched that he took Cyrus’ opinion into consideration but this was about T.J.’s love life, not his. And if he liked Aidan…

Cyrus swallowed the lump in his throat and looked away. “Well, do you like him that way?”

It took a few seconds for T.J. to answer. “I don’t know.”

“But he likes you.”

“I… guess?” T.J. sighed, long and loud. “I mean… he’s cool. And we have a lot of things in common. And he’s very… forward.”

“You should say ‘yes’,” was out of Cyrus’ mouth before he registered what exactly that meant.

A sense of dread and horror fell over him. What did he just say?!

He took a peek at his friend. T.J. was quiet, looking like he was actually considering it.

Cyrus wanted to take it back. He opened his mouth to brush it off as a joke but then froze. Why was he stopping his best friend from possibly finding love and having a relationship?

The jock hadn’t dated during their entire friendship. Sure, he had gone on some double dates with Cyrus and whoever his boyfriend was at the time, but nothing serious ever came out of those dates. The blonde was straightforward about not romantically liking any of them.

It was like T.J. was just not interested in anyone. But, this was the first time he had seen him genuinely consider someone enough to ask Cyrus about it.

“Really?” T.J. asked in disbelief.

“Y-Yeah.” Chest tightening, he swallowed the lump in his throat. “I mean… like you said… he’s cool. And nice. And you deserve to be happy too.”

The blonde stared at him, his face unreadable. Cyrus gazed back, ignoring the way his chest ached and the stinging in his eyes. He wasn’t even sure why he was feeling that way. He should be happy for T.J.

“So…you’re saying I should say ‘yes’?” the blonde asked, his voice unsure… like he was asking for Cyrus’ approval.

So, Cyrus forced a smile. “I think Aidan is good for you, Teej.”

T.J. smiled back and nodded. “Okay,” he said, his voice cracking a little.

That was strange but before Cyrus could ask about it, T.J. turned away and put the car back in gear.

The rest of the drive was silent once more. But, the churning in Cyrus’ stomach never ceased. He felt sick.

…….........

He had finished his homework and studied for his English test. His brain was drained and he was ready to pass out. Checking the time and seeing that there was still half an hour before his step-mother would call him down for dinner (he was staying at his Dad’s for this month), Cyrus dragged himself to his bed and dived face-first on top of the covers.

Loudly, he released a groan.

Why was he so annoyed?!?!

Rolling onto his back, he reached out for his phone on the nightstand next to his bed and opened up the GHC group chat.

Facetime?

It took a few minutes for the girls to respond.

Andiman: Just finished my homework so I’m free!

Slayer: Me too. What’s up?

He tapped on the camera option and waited.

“Hiii!” Andi sang.

“What’s up, Cy?” Buffy chimed in.

He smiled, leaning back against his pillows. “Hey. So… I need your guy’s thoughts on something.”

The girls simultaneously nodded, ready to lend their listening ears.

Cyrus swallowed and took a deep breath. “So… today… T.J. got asked out on a date.”

“Wow, really?” Buffy exclaimed, eyes wide.

“By who?” Andi asked.

Cyrus bit his lip, hesitating. “I can’t say. But… ugh!!!”

He rolled over, tucking his chin on top of one hand while the other held the phone to his face.

“It’s been bothering me!” he whined.

The girls were quiet for a moment, just watching him have a mental breakdown through the screen. His head hurt and his body felt like jelly, like all of his energy got sucked out of him. He couldn’t get the image of T.J. asking for his approval to date out of his head. If anything, he didn’t need Cyrus’ permission! He could go on a date if he wanted to!

“Did he say ‘yes’?” Buffy asked, sounding heavily concerned.

Cyrus groaned. “No. Not yet, at least. But, I think he will.”

“Why would he do that?!” she screeched.

Even Andi looked shocked.

Was it really that unbelievable that T.J. got asked out? It wasn’t like it was the first time!

That thought made another vein on his forehead twitch.

“Because he likes them?” Cyrus answered, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose.

“That’s impossible,” Andi blurted out.

Cyrus opened his eyes to both of his best friends looking distressed. “Why?” he asked, curiously. “He’s a great guy, I think. And T.J. seems to really like him.”

Why was his voice so weak and tired?

“What did you say?” Buffy asked, instead.

“Me?” Cyrus shrugged. “I told him he should say ‘yes’.”

“What?!” the girls chorused, making him lift an eyebrow.

“What is wrong with you two? Why do you sound so surprised that T.J. got asked out? He’s a great guy. Who wouldn’t ask him out?”

“Straight guys and lesbians?” Andi provided with a grin.

That made Cyrus chuckle.

Meanwhile, Buffy was still frowning. “So…you’re jealous?” she stated, slowly.

He felt his cheeks turn red. “How did you get that from everything I said?!”

Buffy shrugged. “I didn’t. I was taking a guess. But, based on that, it looks like you are.”

“Why would you think that?!” Cyrus replied, defensively.

“So, you’re not jealous?”

“Of course not!”

The two girls raised their eyebrows eerily at the same time.

“How do you two do that?!”

They simply continued to look at him, being all judge-y. Cyrus wrinkled his nose. They were so rude, giving him looks like that! What did they know?!

He huffed. “And so what if I’m jealous? I still…”

He trailed off, eyes widening in surprise at his own words. Slowly, he sat up, crossing his legs underneath him, realization dawning upon him and making his mind go haywire in confusion.

“I’m jealous?” he whispered to himself.

“I mean, Cy, it wouldn’t be the first time,” said Buffy, gently this time.

“What do you mean?”

“Cy, whenever someone asks T.J. out, you act all jealous.”

“That is completely false and untrue!”

“Really? Remember freshman orientation?”

That was three years ago, it was all a blur to him.

Buffy continued, “This one girl was clearly into T.J. and was flirting with him and when she tried to ask him out, you jumped right in and went, ‘Sorry, you’re not his type. He’s gay. You’re better off not wasting your time’ and practically shoo-ed her away.”

Cyrus remembered now. That girl was in his and T.J.’s History class. Every now and then, she would still stare at the blonde so he guessed that crush never went away.

“But it wasn’t like I was lying!” he responded, defensively. “T.J. is gay. He wouldn’t have gone out with her! I was saving her time and energy!”

Andi piped in this time. “What about the time Freddie tried to ask him out after you two broke up?”

Cyrus’ eye twitched. “He was breaking the ex code!”

“Which is?” Buffy prodded.

“To not date your ex’s friends!”

“That’s a stupid code and you know it!”

Yeah, he knew it was stupid. But, at the time, the thought of T.J. going out with Freddie didn’t settle well in his stomach. And T.J. didn’t even like Freddie that way! The girls were being ridiculous!

“Well, we’ve gone on double dates and I was never jealous of the guys he went out with,” he pointed out, very sure of himself.

Buffy burst out laughing and even Andi hid her giggles behind her hand.

“What?” Cyrus questioned, confused.

“You always had something to complain about the person on a date with T.J.,” Andi stated, matter-of-factly. “They either don’t pay T.J. enough attention or T.J. was too good for them or they made fun of T.J.’s dyscalculia and it made you angry.”

“That last one is valid! You should never make fun of someone’s learning disability!”

“Why are you in so much denial, Cyrus?” Andi asked, sincerely.

Cyrus froze. “I… I’m not,” he stammered, weakly.

“What are you so scared of?” she continued.

A lump formed in his throat. “I… I just…”

“Cyrus.” His pixie-haired friend flashed him a small smile. “Do you like T.J.?”

He dropped his phone in shock.

“Cyrus?!”

“Cy?! Are you okay?!”

With a shaking hand, he fumbled for the phone, raising it up to his face again. The little box with his head showed how red he was.

“Why would you think I like T.J.?!” he blurted out.

Buffy chuckled. “Well, for one, we have eyes. You’re not exactly subtle.”

“And when you’re with him, you always get this… sparkle.” Andi looked dreamy as she said it.

Cyrus opened his mouth to deny the allegations but stopped. These were his best friends. They would know if he lied.

But, would it be lying? It wasn’t like he still had feelings for T.J….did he? It was a long-ago crush that started in the 8th grade.

From the moment T.J. had come out to him, Cyrus had been waiting for him to make a move, but he never did. Cyrus waited and waited, but it began to feel like waiting for the dinosaurs to come back and re-populate the earth.

So, he figured that he should forget his feelings and move on. That was why he dated. If someone told him they liked him, he didn’t hesitate in accepting their feelings.

But… maybe… perhaps… the feelings had just been dormant. Maybe they never disappeared like he thought they did.

“Cyrus?” Andi’s voice broke through his thoughts. “If you don’t want to talk about it, you don’t have to. But, you know we’re here for you. We’ll always listen.”

“And we won’t judge either,” Buffy added with a smile.

Cyrus couldn’t help but feel touched by his best friends’ concerns. Which was why he couldn’t lie to them anymore. Not about this.

“I’ve liked him since the 8th grade,” he finally confessed. “I… I’m not exactly sure how it happened. But, one day, I just looked at him and realized… ‘I like this guy. He’s one of the best things that had ever happened to me’. And that was why I came out to him. A part of me was terrified that he would stop being my friend, but another part just… hoped.”

He remembered struggling and arguing with himself for several weeks before finally making the decision to tell T.J. that he was gay. And after telling him, it felt like a huge weight off his shoulders. He felt free. He wanted to tell T.J. his feelings but didn’t want to overwhelm him with too much information at once.

Maybe had been too naïve and had hoped…viciously hoped...that things would work out like they did in the movies. That the protagonist – him – would get the guy in the end. But, that hope was unfounded.

T.J. only liked him as a friend. His best friend.

“All these years, I thought my feelings for T.J. had disappeared,” he continued. “I started liking other guys, too, so I thought that I’d moved on. But, as it turns out, just because I liked and dated other guys didn’t mean that I stopped liking T.J. Maybe…maybe that’s why my relationships just never seemed to work out.”

“You heart wants someone else,” Andi stated and Cyrus couldn’t deny her statement.

Perhaps, he also had some shortcomings in his relationships. And that was not fully giving his all in it because of his lingering feelings for his blonde best friend.

“Why don’t you tell him then?” Buffy said, softly. “Before it’s too late. Cy, don’t wait for him to make the move.”

Cyrus swallowed. “I’m scared.”

“About what?” Andi asked, kindly.

“Losing him. He’s so important to me, you guys. I can’t… what if I make a move and things go wrong and we stop being friends?”

“I swear to God, you two…” Buffy mumbled before shaking her head. “Look, Cyrus. You clearly like him. Like, sickeningly in love with him!”

Andi nodded her head in agreement, making Cyrus blush.

“And if you don’t make a move, you’ll be stuck in this eternal loop of being friends and constantly jealous of each other’s boyfriends and ten years from now, you’ll wonder about the time you lost and the regret for not taking a risk when you had the chance.”

Cyrus let the words sink in, his chest aching in longing.

“Cyrus, we love you,” Andi said. “And we just want you to be happy.”

Cyrus swallowed. “What if… things don’t work out?”

“What if they do?” Buffy said, instead.

That left Cyrus thinking about possibilities that he had long ago given up on.

And a new feeling bloomed in his chest and he was both elated and terrified at its reappearance.

He was feeling hope.

…….......

“Why are you looking at me like that? Do I have something on my face?”

Cyrus blinked. “Huh?”

T.J. flashed him a quick look before turning his gaze back to the road. “You’ve been staring at me and not saying anything. It’s kinda weird.”

Coughing, Cyrus adjusted his position in his seat so that he was facing the front.

“Sorry. I was…thinking about something.”

“Oh? What about?”

“That’s for me to know.”

“Ooohh you’re keeping secrets from me now, Underdog? Should I be concerned?”

He said it in a joking manner but Cyrus could read between his lines. T.J. was worried about him. His heart skipped a beat and this time, he wasn’t confused. He knew what he was feeling.

“No, nothing to be concerned about,” he said, as lightly as he could.

“If you’re sure.”

“I’m sure.”

They moved on to talking about other things after that.

For someone who was still coming to terms with the fact that he may still have a giant crush on his best friend, Cyrus was acting pretty normal. Then again, he had always felt comfortable around T.J. He always felt light, like nothing could go wrong as long as the other boy was beside him. Maybe that was one of the reasons he liked him so much.

They arrived at school and entered the doors, laughing and joking about the frogs in the freshman Biology classes.

“I bet you at least five kids are gonna run out of class to puke their guts out,” T.J. chortled.

“Were you one of the five who did that freshman year?” Cyrus teased.

T.J. turned red and was immediately on the defense. “No! I didn’t puke!”

“But you ran out of class?”

“That frog was gonna jump at my face!”

Cyrus chuckled. “I’m sure that it wouldn’t have-.”

“Hey, T.J.”

They turned their attention to the newcomer walking up to them: Aidan.

Cyrus felt himself go cold at the sight of the other boy.

Aidan sported a wide smile as he strode to them with confidence in his steps. He stopped right in front of T.J. and grinned at him before turning to Cyrus.

“Cyrus,” he greeted.

Cyrus forced a smile. “Hey, Aidan.”

The brunette then turned to T.J. again and lifted his hand, revealing a paper bag. “I got you something, Teej.”

Cyrus took a peek at his best friend from the corner of his eye and saw him turn red as he accepted the present.

“Thanks,” he said, opening the bag. “Scones?”

“Blueberry scones.” Aidan sounded proud. “You mentioned blueberries were your favorite.”

“Wow, that’s really… sweet.”

Cyrus held his tongue, even as he fumed at seeing Aidan blush at T.J.’s compliment. The other boy couldn’t get his gaze off the blonde. It was like Cyrus wasn’t even there!

Then, he stared at the bag of scones. It reminded him of T.J. always bringing him treats. When was the last time Cyrus had done that for him? He made a mental note to bake blueberry macadamia muffins this weekend. Maybe he and T.J. could do it together?

“So, I’m wondering if you had the chance to think about what I asked yesterday?” Aidan asked, breaking Cyrus out of his thoughts.

“Oh… um…” T.J. turned his head to look at Cyrus, looking nervous and unsure all of a sudden.

Feeling his heart tightening, he knew he had to remove himself from the situation.

“I’m gonna go right ahead,” he stated, managing to keep his tone steady. “I’ll see you later, T.J. Aidan.”

Not waiting to hear a response from either boy, he sped off.

……..............

Days passed.

T.J. didn’t talk about it much but Cyrus knew he had agreed to Aidan’s date. Marty told him. And he watched Aidan practically skipping with glee in the halls.

It was basically confirmed when he asked T.J. if he wanted to hang out after his work on Saturday and the blonde told him he was busy.

Cyrus wondered if he was shy about it or just didn’t want him to know that he was going on a date. Either way, he spent his Saturday at Andi’s, lamenting his woes. The two girls were sympathetic but also jumped at the chance to goad him into making a move and confessing his feelings.

On Monday and Tuesday, T.J. picked him up for school and took him home as usual. But, he never said a word about his date. Cyrus didn’t want to nag him about it but he was driving himself crazy with curiosity!

He was still brimming with it when T.J. came over on Wednesday to study for their History test together.

They were taking a break and T.J. was sitting cross-legged on a cushion on the floor while Cyrus laid on his stomach on the bed. Both boys were on their phones. 

Cyrus was scrolling Instagram when a photo of Marty and Buffy on a date to the virtual arcade popped up. They really loved that place.

He turned his phone off and twisted his head to the side, staring at the tuft of blonde hair peeking out from the edge of his bed where T.J. was seated. He wanted to reach out and poke it or run his hands through it.

He held himself back, though.

“Hey, so how was your date with Aidan?” he casually asked.

It took a few seconds for T.J. to turn around to look up at him, red with embarrassment. 

“How did you know?

Cyrus smiled a little. “It’s not that hard to figure out. And… Marty told me.”

“Marty,” T.J. hissed before shaking his head. “It was no big deal. We just hung out.”

Cyrus lifted an eyebrow.

At the look, T.J. sighed and got up from the floor. He climbed onto the bed and laid down on his back beside Cyrus.

“It was… fun. He took me to an Escape Room.”

“That does sound like...fun,” Cyrus agreed, not moving from his position. He could see T.J.’s face clearly like this. “What else happened?”

The blonde chuckled. “It turns out we both sucked at it. We lost and they had to let us out.” He broke into a fond smile. “We went to laser tag after that. Then we had dinner at The Spoon. He paid and wouldn’t even let me handle the tip. And then he walked me home. I gotta say...he knows how to treat a date right.”

It sounded so romantic. Very textbook date night, but nonetheless a classic. And, suffice to say, Cyrus was jealous. Insanely. He was sure that he would have taken T.J. out on a romantic date too, if he had the chance!

(Although, he probably wouldn’t have thought of Laser Tag, at first. But, he would tuck that idea in the back of his mind for later.)

“Wow, that’s… that’s nice,” was all he could come up with. He cleared his throat. “Are you gonna go out with him again?”

T.J. was quiet for a moment, staring at the ceiling. Cyrus wondered if he even heard him. He was about to repeat his question when the other boy finally spoke.

“I don’t know.”

“Oh.” Cyrus swallowed. “But, you like him, right?”

“He’s…a nice guy.”

The unsure answer only served to strengthen the hope in Cyrus’ chest.

If T.J. didn’t know if he liked Aidan, then maybe…maybe he had a chance to capture his heart.

Buffy told him to take a risk.

This should be it.

It was time.

He was going to make a move and ask T.J. out.

Now, if only his lips would move.

He opened his mouth to speak.

“Anyway, we should go back to studying,” T.J. stated, pushing himself up and stretching. “It’s my turn with the flash cards.”

Watching him scoot towards the bedside table to grab said flash cards, Cyrus could only sigh in disappointment.

He was always a beat too late.

……......

More days passed.

Cyrus tried to pluck up his courage but whenever he tried, something always came in the way. Either they were interrupted, T.J. started talking about something else, or Cyrus just lost his nerve.

It was so frustrating! Things were easier when it was him being asked out!

Meanwhile, Aidan was idling around T.J. more and more. He waited for him in the mornings. He approached him at his locker. Sometimes, he would even sit with them at lunch.

Cyrus wished he could hate him. But…Aidan was nice. He was friendly and charismatic and he really genuinely liked T.J. and wasn’t shy about it.

By now, the rest of their friends were aware of Aidan’s crush. Buffy and Andi were clearly unhappy about it (they were on his team, after all!) but it wasn’t like they could stop the guy from liking their blonde friend. Marty and Jonah seemed neutral, but Cyrus was sure that Marty disapproved, too (probably Buffy’s influence).

Meanwhile, T.J. remained tight-lipped about what was really going on between him and the curly-haired boy.

It made Cyrus nervous, if he was honest.

And his fears were not so baseless.

One Friday afternoon, he was waiting for T.J. at the blonde’s locker. His friend was running late.

“Hey, CyGuy!” Jonah was striding up to him, hand lifted in a wave.

“Hey, JB!” he greeted back. “What’s up?”

“So, I read this article during study hall about mindfulness. Apparently, it helps with anxiety and stuff. They mentioned this book and I’m wondering if your Dad might have a copy?”

Unfortunately, Jonah still wasn’t getting therapy. The thought of it, alone, made him even more anxious. But, he was making an effort to take better care of himself now and resolved to read every article he came across about anxiety and how to handle it. Cyrus’ dad was only too happy to lend him books.

Cyrus smiled. “Text me the title and I’ll check at home.”

“Thanks! So, you waiting for T.J.?”

“Yeah, he’s running a bit late.” He scanned the crowd for the familiar blonde head. Finally, he spotted it coming down the stairs from the second floor. “There he is!”

His glee at seeing T.J. dampened when he saw another familiar head of curls behind him.

The two boys were talking and laughing as they neared the lockers and Cyrus. Jonah greeted them, friendly as always.

“So, Aidan needs a ride home today,” T.J. stated, looking at Cyrus. “Is that okay?”

Him? In a car with Aidan sending T.J. heart eyes the entire time and T.J. welcoming those heart eyes with that cute shy smile and blush?

“Yeah. Of course.” He cleared his throat. “Actually, I wanted to tell you that… I’m… hanging out with Jonah today.”

Brows furrowed, T.J. asked, “You are?”

“We are?” Jonah added, looking confused.

Cyrus flashed him pleading eyes. “You said we haven’t hung out just the two of us in a while.”

Thankfully, Jonah got the message. “Oh, right.” He turned to T.J. “Is that cool with you, T.J.? I’ll bring him home, I promise.”

Seeming to be over his shock, T.J. nodded. “Yeah, sure.”

Cyrus felt guilty for ditching him but he really didn’t want to be stuck in an enclosed space with him and Aidan for the next fifteen or so minutes. Watching his crush getting flirted on by someone who also had a crush on him? He felt like a coward, but he couldn’t watch it. His after-school rides with T.J. were sacred and he didn’t want to taint them with seeing such a display and his own jealousy overflowing.  

That was how Cyrus found himself at The Spoon with Jonah, basket of baby taters in front of them. He hadn’t spoken a word since the food arrived, only aggressively stuffing tater after tater in his mouth, barely tasting them. He was so annoyed!

“Is something wrong, Cy?” Jonah asked.

“Nope. Nothing’s wrong. Everything is fine and dandy.”

He grabbed his chocolate milkshake and sipped, quickly. A little too fast because the ice cold feeling immediately went to his head, making him flinch.

“Easy there, bro.” Jonah looked worried, now. He had successfully made Jonah Beck concerned. “Seriously, what’s going on?”

Aside from Andi and Buffy, Jonah was one of his dearest friends. He was his first ever true guy friend (and gay awakening but he wasn’t going to dwell on that anymore). 

And Cyrus didn’t really lie to T.J. He and Jonah hadn’t hung out just the two of them for a while now. They were always accompanied by the girls, Marty, and T.J. So, it was nice that they could just be bros again.

Maybe he could confide in Jonah? He trusted him, after all.

“Have you ever felt so strongly about someone that you’re scared to be with them?” Cyrus asked, softly.

Jonah’s eyes widened in surprise before nodding in understanding. “Because if anything goes wrong, you could lose them.”

It was Cyrus’ turn to be surprised. He never figured that Jonah, of all people, would say something that resonated so strongly in him.

“Is this about T.J.?” Jonah continued.

Cyrus felt himself blush but nodded, anyway. “You…know?” he asked, hesitantly.

Jonah grinned. “The girls like to talk about how oblivious you are. It’s hard not to get caught up.”

Groaning, Cyrus placed his arms on the table and propped his chin on top of them. “Did everyone figure it out except for me?”

“Possibly. But, hey. I think T.J. likes you, too. It’s weird that neither of you have made a move.”

Cyrus snorted in disbelief. “You’re wrong. T.J. doesn’t like me. At least, not like that. If he did, he would have told me long ago.”

Jonah shrugged. “Maybe he’s scared.”

“What would he be scared about?”

Jonah chuckled. “Losing you? You’re important to him, you know.”

At that, Cyrus blinked. He never thought of that. But, he still couldn’t help but doubt it.

“You should talk to him,” Jonah said, encouragingly.

“Yeah… I’m just… waiting for the right moment.”

Lifting his head, he decided to change the subject. “What about you? You seem to know quite a bit about liking someone very strongly and not wanting to lose them.” He grinned at his friend. “Is there something you aren’t telling us?”

To his surprise and curiosity, Jonah blushed and sheepishly looked down at the plate of baby taters. But, his lips were smiling.

“Come on, JB. It’s just me.”

Cyrus reached out and placed a hand over his on top of the table. He flashed him an encouraging smile.

That seemed to make Jonah relax.

“I… uh… have been hanging out with Walker more lately,” he started.

Cyrus’ brow raised at that. 

Walker. 

How unexpected. 

Then again, he and his friends seemed to surprise each other with their random crushes and choice in partners. (Except maybe Buffy. That was the only one that made sense.)

There was Andi and Amber, those two were definitely a surprise, considering their past. And then his crush on T.J., which was unexpected and hit him like a freight train.

Walker and Jonah didn’t seem too far-fetched. And the artist was the first boy the dimpled boy had shown genuine interest in.

“But, I’m still figuring things out so…is it okay if we keep this between us?”

Cyrus smiled, touched at Jonah’s trust in him. He patted the boy’s hand before pulling back. “Of course. Your secret is safe with me. And…same with the thing with me and T.J.?”

Jonah nodded.

They sealed their promise with a fist bump.

He truly had amazing friends.

A/N: I’ve always liked the idea of gay!Cyrus and bi!Jonah bonding about their crushes. 

Tag list:

@androgynouspoetrycollector

@tyrusmuff1n

@thedampjofangirl

@tjsmuffin

@alyssailovespuppies

@buffy-driscool

@r4anly

@delicatesleeper

@amazingpartytattoos

@unprofessionalart

@myrandom-fandomlife

@tjshoodie

@just-fic-me-up

@tjskipping

@completelysterling @theobligatedklutz

@justeilona

@literally-just-for-fanfics

@turtle0verl0rd

@angel28716

@tjlikedhimfirst

@tyrus-endgayme-confirmed 

@breadisticks

[lunawings]

is there any sort of etiquette for cheering shows?

Yup!

But no worries!! Shin is there to walk you through it before every cheering show!! (A staple of cheering and one of my actual favorite parts of going to shows.) Here is the Pride the Hero version:

(Sorry I still can’t rip my Pride the Hero DVDs. Don’t know if it’s the DVD, my computer, or me.) 

If you couldn’t get through that here’s a summary:

1.) Don’t say mean things. -We always change to the color of whoever is on screen. Of course some places are free (the OP, ED, feel free to pick a side if there is a battle etc.). But if a character is performing, please cheer for them even if they aren’t your favorite. 

2.) Don’t bring props big enough to hurt someone or block the screen.-People cosplay and bring props like fans and celery, but yeah just don’t go too overboard. 

3.) Don’t jump out of your seat like a crazy person.-We don’t stand up at all during King of Prism. (Unlike another idol fandom I know….)

4.) Don’t excessively yell over the characters.-I know this sounds impossible (and sometimes it is) but try to avoid yelling over the dialogue if you can/as much as you can. We usually yell things really quickly in between lines when possible. Also we don’t usually sing. There are call outs during the songs, and sometimes you can sing backup, but please don’t sing over the main character who is singing is what I mean. You may want to sit in the back left or back right and just watch/listen your first time to get a feel for it. The people who cheer the most usually sit in the center middle to front. 

[anth-seeing2019]

Assignment 1Seeing Prohibition Alyssa Maurer Everyone’s Peggy: Threats to Seeing.

[reblogged to ensure grading]

This space is static. There is little to no movement. The movement that does occur is directly related to mobile phone usage. Eye contact between patients is kept minimal. Heads are locked onto their phones or on the television screen; fixations are controlled by artificial movement. The only desirable eye contact is between the patient and the nurse that beckons them into the next room. The twiddling of thumbs, texting messages to family or friends, accompanied by an obligatory glance towards the phone’s housing; whether it be pant pocket, hoodie pouch, or carry-on bag. Outside of that codependency, the occasional side-ways glance is done in secret. That was my way in.

Animals That Saw Me, a photobook by Ed Panar, is one of the biggest references I could draw off of after completing this activity. In the book, Panar creates a visual narrative discussing the fleeting, face-to-face interactions that people have with animals. I make the comparison, between staring at animals and staring at other people, because I think that it touches on the animalistic inclinations that humans retain. The fight or flight instinct, for example, uses staring as a way of preparation. The person or animal takes in the immediate threat through visual context and acts accordingly. Staring, in this context, is as a natural, animalistic instinct. An archaic inclination passed on from human ancestors.

While not all of the images could address the concept of staring, I do believe it to be an interesting gesture on how the staree and starer can be swapped. This addresses aspects of the power dynamic, but in this case, you’re never quite sure who instigates (starer) the action and who submits (staree) to it. Of the many observations I had while sitting in a waiting room and performing the act of staring, the power dynamic between the two characters was the most obvious. To me, before reading more on the subject, staring was a violation; used only to manipulate the staree into a submissive state. Garland Thompson reflects on the aspects of intensity associated with staring on page 14.

“We speak of “staring daggers,” “penetrating looks,” “piercing eyes,” “riveting glances,” and “looking somebody up and down.” Such phrases reflect the intensity of being on either side of a staring encounter” (Garland, p. 14).

It was only after reading chapter 7 of Staring, that I began to understand that the power in the staree as well as the starer is subjective. While one could overthrow the other, the idea behind a positive response to any staring is an acknowledgment from both parties, acceptance, and a shared visual dialogue.  What is of more importance is the amount of experience (from both the starer and the staree) between both parties that make this dialogue possible. I am not saying it isn’t impossible without shared experience in this performance, however, it does make it less burdening. 

“The struggle for starers is whether to look or look away. The struggle for starees is how to look back”(Thomson, pg 84). 

My observations substantiate Garland-Thompon’s discussion of staring because they exemplify many of the key points outlined in the reading. There are two or more characters being activated in this position. I, as the starer, have observed the power dynamics at play and the dualities that exist. After hesitantly establishing a visual introduction, I attempted to tame the world with my eyes; jumping innocuously from one waiting room to the next. Of course, this interaction isn’t complete without certain fulfillments. The staree must deny or acknowledge the starer through some sort of reactionary impulse. This could be a hand shooting up to cover their face, a surprised jitter, a reluctant smile, or a hostile glare. Any negative reaction to me, no matter the level of resentment, would immediately persuade me from pestering further. 

“A seasoned staree evaluates when to turn away, stare back, or further extend the stare. Some allow the staring to go on in order for the starer to get a good look. Others find it most effective to use eye contact and body language to terminate the stare as soon as possible, although this risks being interpreted as hostile. Another option is to redirect the stare” (Thomson, pg 86)”

This ballet is a duet; it cannot be completed without the other participant. This is where the starer’s role intensifies and his/her duties to the staree become paramount. What goals are going to be met through this? Will I know I’ve been given the signal to stop? What do I want them to see from me? What do I want them to know from me? How best to communicate this through eye contact alone? Remembering the goals for each conversation once the line has been cast, is both the most difficult part of this conversation and the part with the biggest reward.     

The context-specific prohibition against looking that I had intended to explore, was photographing in a private office space, but I found myself fighting against the compulsion to stare. So, instead of trading one for the other, I did both; staring and photographing. There are a number of power relationships at play while staring in a health clinic. In the waiting room environment, there is an all-too-often overlooked, but very much so present overseer in the form of surveillance footage. The hierarchy of surveillance is a  prevalent, pervasive threat to the staree and starer. This outlier interferes with the accessibility that a communal stare indoctrinates. The other prohibition, in this context, is the HIPPA agreement made between patients and healthcare providers. HIPPA is a United States legislation that provides data privacy and security provisions for safeguarding medical information. This safeguards against, but is not limited to data breaches, restrictions on access, broadened security measures, and patient interactions within the facility. I was unaware that photography interferes with those measures at the time as well.

What was disturbing about this interaction was that it was one-sided, invasive, and mostly unsolicited on my end. I should have been more considerate of my surroundings..

 After two hours in the waiting room, hearing the names being called into the next room, listening to the medical procedures that the television played on repeat, I successfully talked to 3 people about this area. John, April, and Emilio. The fourth and final person I talked to was the one who escorted me out of the building but not before asking me to delete the photographs on my camera and requesting my full name for their records. Her alias was Peggy, but her actual name, after gathering further information on her, was Ndidi. Peggy is an immigrant from Nigeria.

April was the first person I began to have a visual conversation with. She’s a bold, middle-aged woman. She wore pink leopard print, unicorn slippers, and had pinkish-purplish semi-permanent hair colorization. She entered and sat at the furthest end of the waiting room, which looked more like a hallway with chairs. April was fidgety, so establishing prolonged eye-contact with her wasn’t easy.

As I stared, I noticed more and more of April’s features. Her skin was a deep tan, almost leathery texture with countless freckles. I took her picture in secret without asking for her permission. Soon after, I asked from across the room,

“What’re ya in for,” this question startled her out of her trance, looking up towards me with an almost lifeless reaction. Her face scrunched up and she replied with a loud and  puzzled,

“Huuhhhh?!”

I repeated my question from across the room. Her response was a waving of her dainty hand and a rolling of her head round in a clockwise direction. She replied,

“I been comin’ here for months, lady. They ain’t found nothin’ on me yet worth talkin’ bout,” she continued looking downward, “it’s--been a long road, hah.” She chuckled to herself and half-smiled looking back up at me.

“I’m Alyssa--er, Al for short.” I chortled waving at her with, what I would consider, a long-distance handshake.

“Oh, we’re givin’ names now,” she quipped questioningly.

“I’m April--don’t ‘ave any nicknames, but I like the one you got. Sounds funky and for a girl with green ‘air, I’m sure that’s was your--ahaha--goin’ for.” She laughed and then I accompanied her. We conversed in segments. I told her about the picture I had taken of her and she laughed again, saying that she would have never noticed. I asked how this made her feel and she said ‘ain’t no harm if I didn’ see no foul’. John walked in about 8 minutes after April.

John is a middle-aged man, but with more seasoning than April. He wore a black t-shirt, blue jeans, and black Nikes. He had in airpods and didn’t look like the type of person who enjoyed casual conversation. *note* I’m not making these judgments in real-time, I’m only including this information to better visualize the character John made little to no eye-contact outside of his phone’s screen. Occasionally, he would glance upward at the television or around at the faculty when they would meander around the sides of the waiting room hallway. I continued to stare at him, without reciprocated fixation, until one of his wandering glances met mine. Then, another latched on to me without lingering for much longer than the first. Frustrated, I took out my camera and took a picture of him looking back down on his screen. Unhappy with the angle of the image on my LCD screen preview, I took another image. John looked up, but not in time to see my camera angled towards him. Enthused by his reaction, I took another exposure and he looked up to meet my stare as the camera pulled away from my face. He pulled out his airpods without looking away from me as I continued to stare back. Once out, he blinked and the corners of his mouth curled up into a smile; the kind of smile you don’t expect to receive from someone who looks and acts so unamused or bored in a public environment. As he smiled, he laughed quietly, and half-whispered,

“Whaaat--are--you doing, aha,” his shoulders drooped over while he leaned toward my direction anticipating an answer of some sort. If the charisma in his voice didn’t prompt me into talking, his body language did. He sat legs open, arms on his lap, and his face jutting out towards me in some comical fashion.

“I was just--uh--staring at you, but you--well it’s for an assignment in my class, but, uh, you didn’t respond to that. Sooo--”, I replied scatter-brained and eager to get him to talk to me, “I took your picture instead while you were looking around to get your attention. I hope it wasn’t rude or anything. I just wanted to see what you had to say about everything.” Everything? Really, Al?

John smiled, his head twirled upwards with his eyes as he shook it there. When his eyes came back to mine, he continued.

“Man, I thought I came into the psych ward or something for a sec. You had me scared!” Me and him both laughed, then I asked him why he felt like he was in a psych ward, how the staring made him feel, and why he averted it so much. He said that staring made him feel paranoid or uncomfortable. He said that he wasn’t equipped to handle that type of conversation on this day and that his brain was more so acting to get him ready for his doctor’s appointment. He was overcompensating and he hated doctor’s visits.

Here, we could begin to discuss some of the points outlined in Daniel Segal’s Can You Tell a Jew When You See One?. Here, Segal substitutes the word stereotypes for typifications, which was originally coined by Alfred Schutz. In the essay, he elaborates on problems relating to prejudice, stereotyping or typifications, and how their social construction delegitimizes sensory perception. Sensory perception cannot be the reason for issuing a typification. Social jurisdiction operates to define the terms that we then give onto people from other cultural backgrounds or descent because it operates like a machine; giving titles, descriptions, and names to people, places, and things. To exercise what was learned from this essay, I’m taking precautions not to undermine John’s character.  Now, John is not like me. His skin is olive-toned and he is male. That doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s from African descent nor that his descent affects his character, but his physical makeup does characterize visible attributes. The segment of the essay that I am referring to most directly is on page 238, paragraph three.

“Take the case of whether a person is or is not “African American.”[...] the facts about this matter of identity, independent of a person’s ‘looks,’ are located in ancestry[...] Consider, in other words, the possible outcomes of discrepancies or incongruities between visual signs of identity and a person’s knowable ancestry.[...] Thus, by social conjuring trick--one that alters who it is who is known to have African-American ancestors-the incongruity of white-looking African-Americas is removed from the world that appears before our eyes. The Statistical correlation is tightened, in this cay by exploiting the instability of the supposedly fixed facts about whether someone is or is not ‘African-American’” (Segal, pg. 238).

As I entered into the facilitation of this assignment, I’ve taken precautions to understand typifications, how they operate and how to avoid them in descriptive narratives. That being said, John was comfortable enough to discuss stereotypes with me. He said that he and his family have felt the effects, but that they’ve been subdued by political correctness, informative outreach programs, and efforts in diversity and inclusion. When asked about micromanagement over the situation--in communities, schools, etc.--he said that perseverance is above all else the most paramount.

Emilio was received in the waiting room, along with his grandparents and mother, while John and I were talking.

Proud of my accomplishments thus far, I grew more confident and actively starred at Emilio. I glanced towards his family occasionally but kept persistent contact with the child. The mother, persuaded by my eye contact, beckoned me over to sit with the family. I asked her about her son. Her heavy, Latin accent generated a language barrier, but she still allowed me to interact with the child. He looked to be about 7. Every time I starred, he unabashedly returned my glances with an assumed childish demeanor. I got his name after many attempts at explaining and gesturing to myself to receive an answer.

Why are children open to acts of starring more so than adults? Is this exception related to childhood development and the absence of socially constructed expectations? Presumably, the answer relies on the age of the child and their experiences with public or social media environments.

I was called into the doctor’s office for my scheduled appointment shortly after talking with Emilio and his family. The visit was conducted as usual. My blood results came back normal. The lumbar puncture confirmed that I had an inflammatory disease that would require medication and future consultations. During our intermissions, where the doctor or nurse would leave the room, I would photograph the room. After I received my prescriptions, I was told that I could leave.

The confrontation with Peggy occurred while I was making my escape from the clinic. Peggy found me attempting to make my way out of the labyrinth of halls that made up the facility. Deliberately walking up to me, she told me that the exit was in the opposite direction.

“Ma’am, the exit is this way,” she said as she pointed in the opposite direction.

“Oh,” I replied, “thank you, I’m sorr--” she interrupted my apology mid-sentence.

“I haff been meaning to ask you where did you get dat camera and what are you doing in this place wit it?” She interrogated me in a foreign accent while pointing at my camera and the surrounding walls.

“I am a patient here and I was just taking pictures to check my camera’s settings, y’know? Staying loose, that’s all,” I replied trying to sound as genuine as possible. She wasn’t amused by my response at all.

“Noooooo! You cannot do dat ‘ere. This is a medical facility. That is wrong, very wrong. You cannot do dat ‘ere with other patients' privacy. We have people who come in to take pictures for us when we need it...[--]” she rambled on about issues concerning privacy, of which, I was aware of, but didn’t think any of my images infringed upon patient privacy.

“--So, I need to delete my images. Is that what you’re saying,” I interrupted her, “There’s really nothing too invasive with these images, I swear. I’m aware of privacy laws regarding media, but there’s really nothing in here that could come back to you guys. I’d be more than happy to agree to a release form or some kind of disclosure or no compensation agreement” I pulled out the camera with the LCD screen pointed up to show her the images. In preview mode, I went through the pictures to show her each one carefully. None of them were impressive. Most of them were still frames of objects found in the waiting room and consultation; a chair leg coming in contact with the ground, a stack of pamphlets on nesting table, a rolling chair, doctor’s instruments, John looking down at his ph---oh no.... Peggy was outraged.

“See!! That is a patient, that is no good! You delete all of those images right now. You cannot do that! Can’t you see how that is wrong?! Delete everything,” She commanded.

“Everything?” I questioned, but it didn’t more than a glance to realize her anger and bewilderment. I dutifully obliged and deleted every image I had taken from my duration with her head lingering over my shoulder. Still, I felt determined to question her further.

“What is so wrong with photographs? The camera isn’t a weapon, ya know. Besides, there are people taking images with their phones regardless of privacy standards. I feel like the only reason you’re targeting me is because my camera is ostentatious and unconcealable. Besides, I asked this patient if it was ok after I took the shot.” I continued to argue my point while deleting the images. It only angered Peggy.

“There,” I said, “all deleted.”

“Good, but don’t you see how it is wrong to do that?” she, once again, asked. I had already replied to this question twice and didn’t feel like answering it again. I just kept to myself and allowed her to continue. At this point, I felt like a vacuous child being lectured into the ground. Did I feel remorse? Undoubtedly, I felt it, but the fact that I could reconcile with this women plagued me with more, unsurmountable guilt than anything else. What does it mean to be a photographer, to have a degree and uphold certain values, if I can’t convince someone otherwise about its nature? Peggy touched on the small of my back, urging me to exit the facility. Before leaving she had one final question, that I didn’t feel the need to answer after considering the negative connotations involved in the conversation.

“What is your name for our records?”

“Oh, I can’t give you that,” I replied solidarily and exited the clinic doors.

Upon looking back, I realize now that Peggy’s confrontation-in particular-illuminates more on the prohibitions of seeing; as well as legal/moral issues involved. Peggy was obligated to stop and lecture me on the legality of the situation. Her duty, in that respect, was to act according to protocol. When I tried to reconcile the situation-albeit-in a frivolous, panicked manner, I was met with more of the same lecture. We didn’t see eye-to-eye on the situation. In a more diplomatic conversation, I could see the conversation being more successful. However, Peggy instigated her side of the conversation with such emotional gravitas that it overwhelmed me; it brainwashed me into contrition before I could even begin to build my side of the argument.

Binding, legal implications have power over ways of seeing just as much as emotional jurisdiction does or even an acceptance of conversation. Communication is a two-way street. Both sides have to be willing to receive and contribute to the discourse. I’ve never photographed in a health care facility. I’ve been advised not to and was aware of the complexities involved both legally and morally. Why did I do it? I did it because I have a passion for something and I wanted to further understand the stigma behind. I thought I could maybe reason with someone if I got caught or share information about the art form that means so much to me.

The biggest threat to seeing, in any way, is cowardice. Summoning up the courage to seek discomfort, to be vulnerable, and to be forthright on the discoveries made after the fact, is the key to seeing behind walls; even when you meet someone like Peggy. Peggy didn’t give me the signs that the book warned me about and for the most part, this experience was going all too well. If it weren’t for Peggy, I wouldn’t know how it feels to be terminated from a specific visual conversation. Now, I look back and I am grateful for her involvement in my life. She’s shed some light on things that I had never considered or had even been given the circumstances to consider. Sure, there may fear surrounding embarrassment or failure, but it’s only when we experience those emotions first hand that we truly begin to understand; especially in the case of visual communication.     

“To see things thousands of miles away, things hidden behind walls and within rooms, things dangerous to come to, to draw closer, to see and be amazed” (Secret Life of, 2013).

Works Cited

Kuku, David. Unknown. n/a.

Panar, Ed. Animals That Saw Me. Vol. 1, Spaces Corners, 2011.

Segal, Daniel. “Can You Tell a Jew When You See One?” Judaism: A Quarterly Journal of Jewish Life and Thought, vol. 48, no. 2, 1999, pp. 234–238.

Stiller, Ben, et al. The Secret Life of Walter Mitty. Amazon Prime Video, 201th Century Fox, 5 Oct. 2013.

“What Is Staring?” Staring: How We Look, by Rosemarie Garland-Thomson, Oxford University Press, 2015, pp. 13–17.

[allanamayer]

Libraries and room rentals.

I was at a bit of a loss to contribute to the fiasco that is public libraries letting hate groups book their rooms. Mainly because the most important things have already been said:

But, since that blog post went up, something new happened! All credit goes to the law librarian @Jenifesto on Twitter - I saw the case via Sam Popowich:

h/t to law librarian extraordinaire @Jenifesto who actually found the case. https://t.co/DAukfygjUu

— das Gespenst des Kommunismus (@redlibrarian)

October 19, 2019

If you don’t feel like reading CanLii (and really, who does) there’s also an Ottawa Citizen article from September, when the decision came down:

https://ottawacitizen.com/news/local-news/court-upholds-librarys-decision-to-cancel-screening-of-controversial-film

The main points here are: community room rentals are not part of a “library’s core service” and therefore not subject to the same kind of scrutiny that a public institution fulfilling its mandate might normally be. What that apparently means is that a library can book or cancel room rentals at its complete and total discretion, beholden to none.

That means public libraries can write their own room rental policies, adhere to or change said policies at will, and basically ignore anyone who asks them to do otherwise.

In this particular case, OPL cancelled a booking (a film screening) based on a clause in their own room rental policy, which says they have discretion to cancel based on whether an event will or likely will promote hatred. Of course, libraries can reserve the right to cancel any booking at their own discretion, not subject to appeal, etc., if they want to - they can write that into their policies at any time. It will certainly save you the legal fees & committee time on writing the rest of it.

It’s important to note that by OPL's own standard the “will or likely will” was fairly cut and dried given that it was a film screening. You know the full content in advance, you can judge pretty quickly (as the article says, a 30-second googling) how it’s gonna play out. So, this case neatly sidesteps the “What if a convicted Nazi is making the booking? He might not say anything hateful while he’s there! He might not even be a Nazi anymore!” question of the TPL memorial service last year. If your library has a very specific policy written to delicately handle nuance and appear equitable and legally-adherent, rather than a solid “We unilaterally determine your eligibility, period” statement, you may run aground of some of these things.

Were room booking policies before last month written as though room booking is a core library service and therefore subject to the public policy of being open and equitable to all? Yes, they certainly were. Is TPL’s definitely boneheaded and possibly bigoted refusal to hurdle themselves over on to the right side of history a bit silly given this new ruling? Yes, it certainly is.

It’s commendable that a library considers itself to be working to support freedom of expression even in areas where the law does not dictate it do so, but it’s also 2019 and Nazis are everywhere - a very clear and detailed understanding of freedom of expression and its specifics exemptions & Charter overrides is required if you’re going to Do That Work. Some libraries are making it abundantly clear that they’re either ignoring that requirement, or they’re using a semblance of ignorance to pursue a hateful agenda. There really are no excuses at this point: they all have lawyers, and those lawyers all know how to research. The decision to err on the side of “Don’t get sued by fascists” seems particularly chickenshit given TPL is the largest library system in North America and can marshall the resources and support required to fight that fight on behalf of every smaller library, setting a useful and meaningful precedent that will go a lot further than the minor decisions of the many boards and committees their executives sit on. But no matter: Ottawa Public Library did it, and wouldn’t you have it, that handy little decision is going to become inordinately useful to crafting policies from here on out.

TPL's extremely conservative stand has actively damaged its relationship with its patrons, which is extremely irresponsible for whoever is doing the decision-making. Of course, they’ve fully Barbara-Streisand-ed themselves now and are doubling-down on their bad decisions, so there’s nothing to be done about this particular event. But the media shitstorm that’s raining down on them right now is also a precedent of its own, and hopefully smaller libraries can learn from this mistake.

----

Now that the major point is out of the way, let's discuss some interesting tidbits.

What might your library do if you wanted to support and uphold freedom of expression in ways that don't benefit Nazis? Well, there's always teaching yourselves (staff) and then others (the public) about Charter rights! Programming around what does and does not constitute hate speech might be a bit touchy, especially for sharing explicit examples with a variety of audiences, but it's well worth an attempt.

If you can't bring yourself to that level of ambition you can always program and educate more generally. You can teach people how to express themselves and where to do so - online, in petitions, with letters to their elected representatives, by organizing into groups, with press releases, with posters, with self-publishing, with zines!

The other big exception to freedom of expression is defamation. There is LOTS to be learned by everyone here, from the basic definitions and existing court cases to the ongoing issues with SLAPP lawsuits and jurisdictional leniencies. What are some cases where potentially defamatory messages were protected because they were a matter of public importance? How can people protect themselves from SLAPP lawsuits while still speaking on issues of public good? Can the library hook people up with legal help?

These are things that Nazis may benefit from too, but it can't hurt to educate the populace at the same time.

You can also avail yourselves of your Section 15-2 rights to provide affirmative action - to not just provide spaces and services free of discrimination but to offer special amelioration of the conditions of disadvantaged individuals. That means safe spaces! Women-only groups! Cultural meetups! Trans meetups! Support for youth experiencing discrimination! An accessibility advisory group!

Another thing I just want to duly note is that room rentals and their subsequent cancellation are not censorship. Libraries are not the only places that allow public events, and refusing library space to a group doesn't mean they can't find it elsewhere. There is no denial of freedom of expression if a library says "Nah, no thanks," although if you hold out until the last possible moment and make it impossible for them to rebook elsewhere on the same date, they might have a contractual issue to take up with you. So, please don't dither about and then end up in that situation.

If you find yourselves in the position of only finding out quite late the kind of things that have been booked, you can head this off at the pass by making your room booking more stringent and requiring more information from applicants. They may of course mislead you but then you can probably sue THEM so it's fun all round.

Okay okay in all seriousness, only a few rather large and privileged libraries have space for rent anyways, but it can be challenging to find staffing and resources to really vet your bookings. It will be impossible to weed out violent and hateful applicants 100% of the time. There is never a solution that doesn't negatively impact other groups in your community, from not offering rentals at all to requiring stringent application information. Even OPL wasn't able to screen applicants adequately until there was a public outcry.

Given that this is going to keep Being A Thing now that fascists nationwide have cottoned on to the concept, you had better prepare for swift response to the organizers' own public announcements. You will find out from a Facebook event or from a Twitter DM from a concerned citizen. You will need to act quickly and decisively and thank those who inform you, and apologize for the limited resources that did not allow you to know sooner. You will need to hold a public messaging line and not budge. You will need to reaffirm your library's number one priority is the safety and security of your most marginalized and vulnerable community members. And you'll need to walk the talk, too, by having other examples and evidence of that support. You will need to trust your public and work with their eyes and ears as your guides, listen to and learn from their concerns and perspectives - not scowl and turn aside when they try to make your work better.

Oh yeah, and under no circumstances should you try to pay people off. Don't do this.

I got a msg from TPL space rentals telling me the City Librarian wanted to reimburse the booking fee for the launch of #IPromise as a "gesture of goodwill." You can't pay me to accept your empty gestures and superficial goodwill. #TransRightsAreHumanRights pic.twitter.com/ZVN6Neyoci

— Catherine Hernandez (@theloudlady) October 25, 2019

[sokumotanaka]

Last train home: An ode to Rwby

It’s over...it’s finally over.

Prepare for a long and tired final post.

Look, let me say this;

RWBY volume 6 is a mess and I think that's the most charitable thing I can say after spending several years of being invested in it’s crumbling world.

Maybe it was laziness, rushed or sheer incompetence that made this season crumble, so in my final review on rwby as a whole I may have to do some guess work at points; and after several wasted years, I’m not in a position from this point on to be charitable.

I gotta tell you, volume 6 tricked me, hell from what I seen it tricked alot of us, it started off good, we learned thing we should of learned volumes ago. But then I soon realized that this volume was; damage control. We learn of ozpin origins with salem only to not get to absorb it cause we soon learn through obvious reasons that maria was a silver eyed warrior and when ruby finally starts training, we meet one of jaune’s sisters, also pyrrha’s statue is there, but also neo is back, but so is adam and cinder, also mercury has no semblance, tyrian has a new tail-

see what I mean? before you could absorb one thing, two more pop up in its place and there’s such a lack in structure in the world, characters, their growth, development and their dimensions. The magic and power system that rwby has is just a mess that gets increasingly worse as it progresses, they take one step forward only to stumble several feet back and fall on their ass. And maybe one of the problem is I listen to writers commentary; to someone who doesn’t they won’t see as many problems as I do with the series, but when you actually listen to it you see the many problems it has with how this series is handled.

A reboot is at this point completely necessary and needed for this series to make even a semblance of sense. Semblance, Aura and Dust are so poorly handled and explained that they changed at several points to the point of being contrived.

Semblance was originally something you could use when your aura was completely depleted before requiring aura to use.

Except when it’s not but also when it can be, it changes at the drop of a hat, we see yang use her semblance with no aura in her vol 5 trailer, then sun in vol 4 loses his semblance when his aura is depleted.

despite miles changing it almost instantly afterwards...

When I started rwby I was optimistic it could be a great show probably not spectacular or amazing but great, and while it had it’s flaws and potholes at the time they were relatively small at first, but they just kept growing and more issues popped up and...christ if you like rwby and notice it’s flaws that’s fine, but I can’t say the same for people who outright ignore the flaws people critiquing the series bring up to get mad and preach about how only positive criticism can save the show.

Look as a person who started off with positive criticism I’m not saying it has no place, but you also can’t say critics be it negative from your perspective, is objectively bad or unneeded. Sometimes a firm but fair hand is needed.

Ruby’s issues are like a small flame building up, you can close your eyes and ignore the problem but sooner or later if something’s not done your house is gonna be completely on fire, and you don’t know how that may affect your surroundings, for all you know ignoring the issue caused the trees behind your house to catch fire, maybe one toppled over and landed on a neighboring house and now it’s spreading. The bottom line is weather you can get past the issue to find the things you like isn’t the problem, it’s ignoring them in the first place, if you aren’t willing to help something growth and change for the better with non rose tinted criticism then you’re not offering any help at all, you’re hindering it because you yourself refuse to change and that can be just as harmful if not worse to coddle something.

Rwby increasingly became more unhinged as a series, the flaws turned into overlapping problems, this went from a world that felt had love and care crafted into it to a plot and world with more holes than swiss cheese, which is why so many people felt disappointed and rightfully annoyed, could you sit there and tell me if I made a series and told you one thing yet showed you another only to tell you “yeah that’s not what I meant.” in post that you wouldn’t feel even the slightest bit of cheated, lied to or had your time wasted? If not do I have a camel to sell you among other things!

As a person who sat through so many lovely crafted media; I sat through paper mario and it’s whimsical tale, I watched avatar and fell in love with it’s amazing characters, world building and music, same goes for things like steven universe, final fantasy 6 (a game ironically about togetherness) ff9, the persona series, hunter x hunter, soul eater, gravity falls, Disney flicks, the dragon age series every super giant game, all these and more were handled with so much love and care and hold their structure throughout.

I.  LOVE. MEDIA.

I spend most of my time absorbed in their stories worlds and characters, laughing and crying and growing with them to the point I studied it, twice to get two separate degrees in it because I wanted to write at a time. So when I critique rwby, call out it’s flaws and so on, it’s not a personal attack on you if you like it, but I also can’t be satisfied with where the series has gone, not because it’s not ‘my’ take but because I enjoy narrative flow, I find interest in the characters if the plot isn’t too good and vise versa, media can touch on so many amazing things and I felt at a time...that miles and kerry could do well if they tried, if they applied themselves, before becoming such mean spirited, greedy and unwilling people, and this was long before I came into the picture, long before rwde no matter how much you disagree or what to place blame.

Cause trust me I seen rwby stans (fans unwilling to hear criticism out and will display many hypocritical and messed up tendencies over a cartoon)  not only ignore issues, tell people to kill themselves over a typed critique of a series they like, be irrational, sexist, racist or just plain stupid at times, you realize soon that the rwby tag is a cesspool of horrible people mixed in with a minuscule amount of fans willing to discuss the issues offer fixes and healthy non annoying chats on what they like and dislike.

Which confuses me as an individual cause I feel personally you can and should review rwby without threat of an anonymous person telling you to die over your opinion or one of the writers telling people to...enact physical violence on fans who don’t watch the supplemental material they hide, don’t promote to a casual audience and contradict and retcon on a constant basis. And sometimes it’s through a panel or a tweet, a casual rwby fan wouldn’t even catch unless they constantly follow the writers around or have someone dedicated enough to do so.

And all the stuff I mention and want isn’t impossible or asking too much honestly, I’d like the writers to be honest and fair to their fanbase, like anyone would, I’d like them to listen to actual critique and hire someone who can guide them so it doesn’t turn into one big “damage control” arc, The characters need more substance and need more screen time to grow as characters and fighters, when your fans excuse character growth with “Well animation is hard, not everything could be onscreen it could happen offscreen.” you have a problem, can you imagine ed just showing up with alphonse and it never being explained and I go “well animation is hard.” yeah that goes without saying but at the same time there are writers, creators and so on who get paid less, have smaller teams and sometimes just teams of two people to work hard on their craft, amazing teams with money, production and care like supergiant games get overlooked, so never EVER excuse jump cuts and lack of characterization, structure and development when better writers are out there busting their asses.

Do not be that guy.

*sigh* I been sitting here thinking how how I could end this, how after several years of a fast decline in quality, what’s something I could possibly leave this on? What can I say past this point? I been actually sitting in stunned silence trying to mull it over. I guess all I can say is, if you like rwby fair, fine, despite the major holes I discuss fixes with the series, I draw characters, try fixing the crumbling road of rwby trying hard to understand it, make no mistakes that when I critique it it’s not coming from a place of contempt for the series, but of disappointment in how far it’s fallen and how it could have been good if miles and kerry took the hand offered, it wouldn’t lead them down the most comfortable road, but they’d gain experience from it and could fix the series possibly for the better, and if you again like rwby, do not allow rose tinted goggles to blind you from the issues of the series, the ever growing problems with the series and the unwillingness for the writers to change and grow, do not allow more writers to turn into david cage, M Night Shyamalan, or stephenie meyer.

If you want the best for the rwby series and the rwby brand then you cannot accept mediocrity, you need to be vocal otherwise the writers won’t be incentivized to do better. And it doesn’t have to be straight up criticism, you can word it your way as long as it helps the writing grow, but at the point we’re at and how nice or not miles and kerry take current criticism rwby will continue to plummet and honestly that’s a disappointment.

To all fellow rwde and non rwde who have supported me thus far? Thank you, this has been a wild ride and while we possibly haven’t seen eye to eye I enjoyed and learn alot from watching you over the years, and now I think it’s finally time for the vet to retire and give the reins to new people, I received alot of kind messages from this and they touched my heart, take care rwby critics, it’s been real.

-A past fan of rwby

[rightfulcaptxin]

Five times + closet (from Philip)

Send me ‘five times + a word’ and I’ll write a drabble about our muses based on it. | Not Accepting | @despxratesouls

This was not how Edward had particularly wanted to spend his afternoon.

He tried, desperately, to seek out any kind of positive from his current situation - he was surrounded by the scent of Philip, which at least was a pleasant smell he rather enjoyed. But did that make up for the cramped position he was forced into? No. No it did not. 

From somewhere deeper in the house, he heard the sound of a door slam. A few moments later, a car engine turned over outside. Then there was the creak of another door, and light steps heading towards him at a brisk pace. With a sigh of relief, the wardrobe door opened, light spilling into the shadows, partially blocked by the lithe figure standing before the now open closet. From his position slumped on the floor, Ed glared up at Philip.

“I am so sorry Ed…” Philip winced, seeing the irritation clear on his partner’s face. He stepped back as Ed extracted himself from the wardrobe, with a lot of grimacing as he stretched out long limbs that had been tucked into what looked like the most uncomfortable position he’d ever seen. “He wasn’t supposed to be back for hours, but he needed something from the home office and-,”

“And god forbid you have a friend over?” Ed snapped, wincing as he rolled his neck. Philip made a deliberate show of looking Ed up and down, gesturing with one hand to Ed’s rather obvious state of undress. 

“My father isn’t stupid, Ed. My friends don’t hang around my bedroom in their underwear.” He paused. “Well, James does, but that’s James.” When Ed merely continued to scowl, Philip crept closer to him and slipped his arms comfortably around Ed’s waist. “I know you hate this, but… it won’t be forever.” He leant up and stole a quick kiss. “I promise. Let me make it up to you?”

“Fine.” Ed muttered, unable to be truly mad at him for long. “But that’s the last time I go back into the bloody closet.”

—

Ed had learned, early on, that carrying a book with him whenever he went anywhere with Philip was always a good idea. Sometimes it wasn’t needed, and remained safely tucked into his bag - or, in situations where he didn’t have a bag, stored on the app on his phone - but, more often than not, it came in handy. 

He sat, comfortably lounged, on one of the chairs in Philip’s spacious bedroom, quite happily invested in the mystery currently unravelling itself within the pages. He was seemingly oblivious to the chaos that was happening before him, as Philip pulled items from his wardrobe, strode over to stand with them in front of his ridiculously large mirrors, only to stride back to dump them on the bed - and then repeat the process.

Ed had been dressed for hours. In fact, he’d been dressed and ready since the moment he’d turned up at the door to pick Philip up. Another thing he had learned was to tell Philip to be ready at least an hour earlier than their reservation. Sometimes two. 

At the huff of exasperation, he lifted his gaze from the book to find Philip standing before his wardrobe, hands on hips. “I have nothing to wear.”

“Philip, darling, you have enough clothes to fill an entire store. That is a physically impossible statement.” He marked his page and set the book down, rising from the chair to stand behind his partner. “What was wrong with the first outfit?” Philip turned his head to fix him with a stare that suggested he’d just grown an extra head. 

“Have you been paying any attention?” Ed merely sighed.

“I’ll go back to my book then.”

—

“Was it easy for you?” Philip kept his head pillowed upon Ed’s chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart, one hand idly tracing patterns upon his skin. “When you… well, when you told people?” Ed’s hand, previously stroking up and down his back as they lay sated and content in the man’s sinfully comfy bed, stilled. 

“You mean when I came out, Philip?” Ed smiled, even though Philip couldn’t see it. He had been wondering when this conversation was come up. “I guess so. I mean… I wasn’t exactly subtle with it before that, so people had already come to that conclusion. So yeah, it was pretty easy. It probably also helped that I didn’t care what people thought anyway. I am who I am, and all that.”

Philip nodded, as best he could in his position, and fell silent in contemplation. Ed’s hand shifted, fingers instead sliding into thick curls, an act that sent a ripple of pleasure down Philip’s spine. A soft hum of content slipped past his lips as his eyes fluttered closed for a few moments. 

“You had family then, right? How did they take it?”

“Well, given that I was a sullen, angry kid with a sharp tongue and issues with authority when they took me in, I think they were just glad I wasn’t punching people anymore.” Ed grinned, and felt Philip laugh against him. He waited a beat, and then shifted to a more serious tone. “They were happy for me. Glad that I could accept who I was, and they accepted me in their turn. Not everyone is your father, you know.”

“I know.” Philip sighed, lifting his head at last. “But that’s the problem. He’s always going to be the problem. He always talks about the plans he has for me, and I know me being gay isn’t one of them. I just… I wish I could just come out and say it, but…” He sighed again, heavier this time, and settled his head back against Ed’s chest. “I’m scared.” Ed soothed him, fingers stroking through his hair, reeling back the frustration and resentment he had for the subject of Philip’s father. It wouldn’t help right now.

“I know, love. I know.”

—

“So, my mom knows.”

Ed looked up from his laptop screen, and stared at Philip for a good thirty seconds before the words registered. Wordlessly he closed the lid of the computer, setting it on the coffee table so he could stand, slowly. Philip stood awkwardly in the doorway, hands in his pockets, and doing his best not to look at him. 

“Well.” Ed said at last. “That’s a step in the right direction.” When Philip still didn’t look at him, Ed felt a spark of worry - he had always assumed Florence would treat him no differently, but what if he was wrong? “I’m assuming you mean about us, yes?” A nod. “Philip, love, use your words. Gods, usually I can’t get you to shut up…”

“She already knew.” Philip extracted a hand to drag fingers nervously through his hair. “She actually said ‘is this about that man of yours’ when I told her I had something important to tell her. She knew.” He finally lifted his gaze, and Ed saw the panic in Philip’s eyes. “What if he knows, Ed? What if…” Ah. There it is.

“Philip, relax. Come here.” He held out his arms, and Philip gratefully sank into them, burying his face into Ed’s neck. “Percival doesn’t know a damn thing, so there’s no need to worry about it. Your mother is incredibly perceptive, and… well, mothers always know this sort of thing. They have a superpower when it comes to their kids. You’d have to bang me on the dinner table for your father to notice.”

“I’m not sure my mother would approve of that.” Philip muttered after a moment, and Ed felt him smile. Mission accomplished. He held him for several more moments, before Philip drew in a deep breath, and pulled back. “I’m going to tell him. No more hiding in that closet. I want to be able to kiss you in public, and hold your hand, and I want you to pick me up for a date without having to schedule it around when my father isn’t home. So… I’m going to tell him, for better or worse.”

—

Standing at the island in the kitchen, enjoying his first cup of coffee of the day, Ed opened up his laptop and clicked onto the news to see what was up in the world that morning. He scrolled through the main headlines, skimming the text as he always did, making mental notes for the day ahead alongside his reading. 

The coffee turned to ash on his tongue when the page scrolled down to the latest celebrity gossip, and he saw his own face in full high-res. His face, attached to Philip’s. He knew at once where the photo had come from. He’d stood on that front step just last night, kissing Philip goodnight after their extended date.

‘You could have stayed with me, y’know. I’d have made you breakfast.’

‘I know, but… I’m going to tell him tomorrow morning. I’ve got it all planned out, Ed. We sit down to breakfast as a family every morning without fail, so I’ll have my mother there as support.’

‘Fine, fine… but, you’ll let me know how it goes, right? A text, a call…’

‘I promise. Now go on, get out of here before I change my mind and come back home with you.’

Ed set down his coffee and darted for his phone, hoping, praying he had a message or a missed call from Philip. Tell me you’ve already told him, Philip. Tell me he didn’t find out from a fucking gossip column. His phone, however, was void of messages of any kind. He immediately called up Philip’s number, and hit dial. 

The phone rang out.

Swearing under his breath, Ed was dressed within two minutes and heading for the door. He tore it open, intending to race across town to the Durant household, hoping Philip was okay. Before he could leave, however, he froze in the doorway, stunned. 

“Hi, darling.” Philip stood on his step, a couple of suitcases beside him. “Got room for one more?”

[warehouse13pod]

Show Notes 103 "Magnetism"

Agents, you are getting sleepy… Very sleepy…

Click play on the player above to listen to this week’s episode while you read, if you so choose.

Wow! We covered so much this week! Where to start… Where to start…

Well, first of all, we had a lovely Warehouse Agent from our Patreon page where people can be Patrons for our show (Hey, did I mention we have a Patreon) introduce us!

This week’s Warehouse Agent was a representative from Emp-RSS.com, an online presence dedicated to empowering women to find their voice and providing mentors for young women entering the workforce. I can’t think of a Patron more appropriate to Myka’s arc this episode.

So, the first thing we had questions about was what all the jurisdictions were for the Secret Service, CIA, FBI, and NSA. I linked the answers above, They’re pretty dry, BUT—

The interesting thing I found—as a person who is decidedly NOT a law enforcement agent or a lawyer—is that basically the Secret Service’s jurisdiction is basically whatever protects presidents, vice presidents, former presidents and their spouses and children. Unlike other agencies that have geologically defined jurisdictions, the Secret Service’s jurisdiction seems pretty vague. I can definitely see how that could be exploited by the Warehouse. Pete and Myka are technically protecting those people but also protecting, like, literally everyone else in the world. LOL.

The episode opened with Pete and Myka in France taking the blade of the guillotine that took the life (and head!) of Marie Antoinette. Want to know more about Marie Antoinette and her grizzly end? Boy, oh boy do the History Chicks have you covered! They have an amazingly detailed and informative two part episode dedicated to her fascinating life—there was much more to her than a beheading and a misquote about some cake (Part 1, Part 2). The link to each part links to the audio for each episode as well as the show notes for each respective section. Don’t worry about the fact that the episode is called a “reboot.” You’re not missing something. The first episode of the History Chicks ever recorded was about Marie Antoinette, and it was very poor audio quality. They deleted the original file, re-recorded the episode, and included new information the second time around—hence, reboot.

Still not enough Marie? Don’t worry! There’s more! On the History Chicks’ side podcast, The Recappery, they recap the 2006 film, Marie Antoinette. That episode is also a two-parter (Part 1, Part 2).

There are so many emotional moments in Marie Antoinette’s life that could have led to the creation of artifacts. The History Chicks cover those and anything else you want to know, too! They did a series of Biography Channel mini-documentaries on famous historical women. Three(!) of them focused on Marie Antoinette: a general one about her life, one about the scandalous but rarely discussed affair of the diamond necklace, and one about her small house called the Petit Trianon on the grounds of Versailles.

Moving on, we talked about the famous Mission Impossible scene that Pete was attempting to imitate with perhaps, ahem, a tad less grace. This is the image we were talking about:

Miranda brilliantly discussed the importance of Affect Theory to the Warehouse and its artifacts. Here’s a very brief overview about that.

Miranda made a reference to the purple goo shower that Artie inflicted on Myka and Pete being like slime. For those who didn’t grow up watching the American television network, Nickelodeon, here’s what you need to know about getting slimed. It was a huge thing when we were growing up. On kid/family game shows on Nick (the affectionate slang name for Nickelodeon Network), contestants who lost or got a wrong answer or who won a prize were punished/rewarded with being slimed—i.e. having green goo rained down upon you from above. Why were punishments and rewards both related to slime??? 1) Because it’s always funny to see adults have copious amounts of green goop poured onto adults heads. 2) It supposedly tasted like vanilla pudding!

To this day, adults attending or presenting at the Kids Choice Awards (presented by Nick) should be wary…anybody can be slimed.

We also mentioned that Myka and Jill share a love of True Religion flap-pocket jeans. Here’s what those are.

We talked about the collaborative involvement between M.C. Escher, Nikola Tesla, and Thomas Edison in the early days of the Warehouse.

Tesla and Edison didn’t like each other very much. And the internet is full of links that can fill you in as to why. I wouldn’t even know where to start. So, instead, please enjoy this rap battle between Tesla and Edison from the legendary Epic Rap Battles of History YouTube channel. (I can’t speak for Miranda, but I am totally #TeamTesla).

We also went into a little more detail on M.C. Escher. In particular, we discussed his art works, Relativity and Drawing Hands.

We also discussed his vital contributions to science and to mathematics (Math Link 1, Math Link 2).

Jill also talked about how much second-hand embarrassment she felt when Myka started talking about how much she hated men to Father Braid. Here’s actual footage of Jillian watching that scene.

That scene and earlier discussions of Myka’s feminist rage led to a discussion about the Bechdel Test. The test is a huge part of feminist theory, media studies, and film studies. And, honestly, it’s a super low bar that you’d be astounded how few pieces of media even reach. Want to see if your favorite movie passes the test? Click here! There’s actually a film festival dedicated to celebrating films that pass the test. The theory is not without its critics, however. Many people think that the bar of the Bechdel Test is not high enough and we need to expect more of female representation in media than their mere existence in scenes together and the absence of discussions about men. I’m inclined to agree that we should expect more, but I also think that the Bechdel Test is still a great way to assess if a piece of media is able to do a basic job of representing women on screen. Interested in the criticism? There’s an op-ed from The Washington Post and The Verge that might pique your interest.

When discussing magnetism, with Jill and with our incredible and intelligent guest, Kameron Sanzo, Miranda mentioned her (not really) favorite song (LOL). Here’s that song that asks the ever important question, “Fuckin’ Magnets. How do they work?!”

If you’re actually interested, this is how magnets work.

Anyway…

Other things Miranda discussed with our guest, Kameron Sanzo, include animal magnetism and mesmerism as well as hypnosis. Some cursory information about the founder of Mesmerism, Anton Mesmer, can be found here. A fun exploration of mesmerism can be found in the eleventh episode of the Audible original podcast, Stephen Fry’s Victorian Secrets, which has been linked before in a previous episode’s show notes, because of its relevance to Spiritualism. You can purchase the podcast from Amazon or with an Audible subscription.

Of course, this episode would not be complete without addressing the creator of this week’s artifact, James Braid. There was some discussion of the similarities and differences between hypnosis and mesmerism especially before and after the development of the scientific method.

Now, I’m not a doctor.

(And yes, I know that fans of Brooklyn Nine-Nine and Parks and Recreation just said “Not a doctor” in the voice from the end credits. Don’t worry, Internet. I’ve provided a clip of that for you, also)

Now that we’ve got that out of the way…

I’m not a doctor and don’t want to seem like I know too much about the evolution and modern usage of hypnosis/hypnotherapy in a medical sense. But what I can say is that—while mesmerism is widely understood by scientists to not be a real thing—hypnotherapy is actually still quite relevant to modern medicine. Its origin may share the outlandish nature of mesmerism. However, there is apparently a difference between traditional and modern hypnosis. There is also a difference between hypnosis and hypnotherapy. The Mayo Clinic goes into more detail on the topic as does Psychology Today.

Kameron Sanzo also compared mesmerism and hypnosis with Reiki. Here’s a couple links that provide more information on what Reiki is (Link 1, Link 2).

Finally, we also discussed the use of filmic language and angles and how they can induce feelings of fear and anxiety. No one was better at this than Alfred Hitchcock. Here’s some information on the filmic language he created (high-angle shots, other techniques).

Now, let’s delve into some ~Heavy Themes~

We gave a shout-out to Eddie McClintock to celebrate his 18 years of sobriety! A monumental achievement!

Addiction is a serious issue and if the themes covered in this episode of the podcast or show regarding addiction affected you in any way and you need or want help, here are some links that may provide what you’re looking for.

For substance abuse, please consult Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous. If you are a loved one of someone who struggles with alcoholism, there are resources for you, too! Please check out Al-Anon—not to be confused with Alcoholics Anonymous.

The episode also with issues of suicide, abuse, and gun violence. Please, please reach out if you are struggling with trauma or mental wellness as a result of abuse, mental illness, or any other reason.

Some resources that may help (where possible, phone numbers are listed beside links to resources in case your web usage is monitored and you don’t feel safe clicking links):

The Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255

The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration: 1-800-622-HELP (1-800-622-4357)

For LGBTQIA+ listeners who are struggling, here is a whole list of resources.

The Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233

Finally, if you are non-verbal or are deaf/hard of hearing/unable to use a phone for any reason: THERE ARE STILL RESOURCES FOR YOU!!!!

Please, don’t give up hope.

Check out the Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 

We love you. Stay safe, Agents.