#but actually bro!!!! that is!! so cool!!!!!!!!!

[systlin]

ooooo summarize the one where tarl gets called bosk by a mean lady and it rewrites his brain chemistry

Oh, Telima! The Mean Domme! LMAO it's so funny.

So Tarl is boating down the Big Fuckass River to Port Kar where a dude he wants to meet up with lives. Port Kar is a notorious hive of scum and villainy but has far fewer Han Solos to shoot douchebags in the face unfortunately.

We get like, ten pages of Tarl talking about how longbows are good at killing people, because duh of course they are. However, for some fuckass reason Goreans usually consider it a low class and disgraceful weapon, and Tarl is considered weird for liking it. I will give Norm credit for Tarl, raised an Englishman, having a favorable view of the longbow even in a society that views them as dishonorable. Reluctantly. Anyway.

He's in the Vosk delta, which is a vast labyrinth of swamp mostly covered in a reed called Rence, which is used to make paper and also parts are edible. It's inhabited by Rence Growers, who are actually kinda cool?

They make like, floating boat towns, and hunt and fish the marshes, and they take in fled slaves sometimes and let them live as free women. Like. They kinda rock actually?

Instead of any actual plot for a bit, we get like twenty pages here of Norm outlining Rence, how it grows, how it's harvested, how things are made from it, ect ect. This completely derails the story for a jarring length of time, and it will not be the last time such a thing happens. Norm loves his annoying and dumb infodumps.

Anyway, Tarl is in their territory, and happens upon a free woman fishing in the marshes. He is, predictably, what he thinks is polite but from her POV is intrusive and annoying, and her village takes him captive.

THEN we get to the wild shit.

 

A Sorp is a turtle, btw. And legit this is like, one of the 3 reasonable dudes we get on Gor. Ho Hak you're a king love you bro.

Champion shit.

ANYWAY.

This, in the hands of a better writer, could have been the moment when Tarl realized that, oh, shit, yeah okay in this situation he will act just like the women he's enslaved before who complied rather than be beaten or killed. It could have been a watershed moment.

It will not be.

ANYWAY, Tarl is taken slave, and Telima absolutely rearranges his whole brain with ONE SINGLE NIGHT OF BEING A MEAN DOMME.

He will go by this name FOR THE ENTIRE NEXT THIRTY BOOKS LIKE GIRL JESUS CHRIST.

He's chasing this high for the entire rest of the series. He never gets over this. Like holy shit. Fuck.

Anyway so some Port Kar slavers raid the place and take some people captive, whatever, there's not actually any plot in this book it's just here to get Tarl topped and get him to Port Kar. He fights the knowledge that he can be enslaved like he's enslaved women this whole time, and again somehow manages to do no actual growth or introspection. It's really incredible.

The only thing of note here is that there is a dude named Clitus, which is inexpressibly funny to me. I bet no one can find him.

Tarl becomes a Captain of Port Kar by killing one of the other Captains. There's like, a war with Cos and Tyros, which are also naval powers, and we are supposed to root for Port Kar but honestly I do not give a single shit. It's mostly so that Norm can jerk himself off to pictures of Greek war galleys and Charlton Heston as Ben Hur, tbh.

How TF Tarl knows without trying how to captain a war galley, you ask? And is somehow so good at it that all the other captains are in awe? Well because he's a Speshul Boy, of course.

Of course Tarl wins the war and shit, it's pointless, I don't give a single shit about Port Kar vs Cos Vs Tyros and I want Tarl dead.

Anyway, Tarl hooks up with Samos, but not the way Tarl would really like. Stupid PK vs Kurii plot shit is droned on about for like fifty pages. It's all stupid, the end.

[noosayog]

Sitting at the bar, alone, is far from Atsumu’s ideal Friday night. 

But Bokuto’s busy, Shoyo has a date, and Omi, well… he didn’t even bother to make an excuse. Some friends they are, especially when he’s going through a breakup. 

It does get better, minorly, when you, a pretty stranger, decide to sit in the stool directly to his left. Never mind that the bar is full and the seat next to his is the only free spot.

You’re pretty, dressed in something casual, yet memorable. He’s content to simply sit beside you, fantasizing scenarios in which he charmingly and successfully gets you to join him for a drink and dinner soon, when he hears you. 

“So how’s your night going?” 

“Uh.”

You giggle lightly. He feels his face flush a shade deeper. 

“Articulate, aren’t you?” 

Atsumu chokes out an awkward chuckle. “I’m usually better than this.” 

“Yeah?” You lean further in, propping your chin on your hand. 

“Yeah.” 

A moment of silence. Your smile drops. Oh, you’re definitely about to turn to your left and try your luck with the other guy sitting on that side. 

“Um-” 

“Ok, whatever,” you say. “I’m just gonna come out and ask. Do you have a girlfriend?”

“Uh, no. I’m actually going through a-”

You hold a hand up. “I don’t really wanna hear details. So you’re single? Not seeing someone? Not trying to see someone?” 

“No.” 

“Cool. Wanna make out with me? No strings attached, of course.” 

“Uh?”

“You’re not really doing too hot convincing me that your normal is better than this. Make out.” You gesture, lips puckered. “With me. Just looking for a little fun tonight, you know?” 

Yes, he does want to make out with the pretty girl sitting next to him, so charming, he thinks he might’ve fallen in love. But instead, what he says is- 

“I don’t think that’s a good idea. I mean it’s not really my things to hook up with someone right when I meet them and I’m going through a fresh breakup…” 

You sit back up, swiveling your stool so you’re facing the bar now. “No worries. I don’t wanna pressure someone who’s not down. Have a good night then.” 

You turn back to your book, which he didn’t even notice was there. A sip of your drink, knife to the conversation. 

Atsumu probably spends a good while racking his head for a way to restart the connection when he hears you order another drink. He keeps his head down, discreetly eavesdropping as you flirt with the bartender. 

The bartender rests both arms on the bar to lean closer to you, clearly bewitched. Not that Atsumu doesn’t understand but doesn’t this guy have a job to do? He makes a mental note to write a bad google review later. 

“So…” the bartender croons, “I heard your proposition for Blondie over there.” 

Excuse him? He’s sitting right here still! 

“If he’s not interested-”

“Who said I’m not!” 

Both sets of eyes whip toward him. 

“Bro, we both heard you say-” 

“Okay, so can’t a guy make a mistake?” He turns to you, voice accusatory. “Guys say things when we’re nervous. I’m nervous, okay? I’ve never been asked to make out with some like you,” he gestures up and down. “I am so interested in making out with you.” 

You blink once, twice, before turning to the bartender. “I think I’m done drinking for the night.” 

You turn toward him. 

“Put my drinks on blondie’s tab. He’s closing out now.” 

Atsumu hardly remembers throwing a couple of bills on the table before you grab his hand, trailing after your tinkling laughter. 

–

“- and that’s how I met your mother.” 

“Bullshit!” 

“No way she asked you, of all people, at that bar to make out with you.” 

”Seems kinda farfetched, Atsumu…” 

The MSBY team is gathered in your living room, your one year old son babbling on Atsumu’s lap. 

“Hey! No swear words around my son.” 

His teammates roll their eyes. 

“You’re so full of it. No way that story-”

“What are you guys talking about?” You enter the room with a handful of beers. 

“How you and Atsumu met.” 

“Oh, you mean how I asked him to make out with me?” 

“No fucking shot!” 

“Language!”

[estcaligo]

Sebeshka's kids sketches + some lore yay

Not adding names yet, but they have them. I only added the names of two Crocodile-Guardians of the Zigvolt Household - Boyar and Kathos (might change later)

The oldest is Sebek's pride. He follows his father's steps and is already getting ready to be a royal guard.

Grumpy lol (bro is only 13 but already soo mad ah)

He acts kinda cocky sometimes because he was the first child LORD MALLEUS blessed (yes Malleus be blessing all their kids, imagine how happy Sebek is omg).

And when Malleus first blessed the boy, he didn't control his "blessing power" so it came out super strong.

Basically, now the boy has lots of strength and magic AND DRAGON BLESSING.

Also, his hair has the unique "laurel wreath", which is considered a sign that he will be a great warrior.

I mean, he has all the right to act cocky.

Will sometimes go "I'm the Son of the General" at other kids who disrespect him (which are few, because he initiates a fight and most of the time wins).

The second son is a funny guy. Unlike the oldest, he isn't interested in guard duty much, mostly because he was born with INSANE electrical powers. It has to do with the way... he was conceived.......

And because of that, mother now has a lightning scar wow. It's a funny story actually.

Anyway he is interested in electronics and wants to visit Isle of Woe to meet tech genius Idia Shroud :)

He respects Malleus but only because he thinks he is SOO COOL!!

Which makes Sebek a little mad - he would love the boy to respect Malleus fully.

He also likes Thorn Witch because she is SOO COOL!!!

He also likes and owns a lot of Thorn Witch merch

"Gotta go fast"

Mama's boy (mostly because he feels guilty that, because of him, mama got a scar) :(

The youngest one is heavenly beautiful - she got Sebek's mint hair and his wife's salmon-pink eyes - and everyone thought that she would be a gentle lady and the most desired maiden to court, but she has only a huge interest in crocodiles (Boyar and Kathos have been really close with her since birth) and isn't afraid to get her hands dirty.

Wants to be a crocodile researcher etc, so interested in vet medicine.

Really likes uncle Silver, but thinks "he is too soft". Uncle Silver wanted to introduce her to his animal friends when he learnt she likes animals, but she got a little bored with bunnies and squirrels.

Such a sweet girl, really!

[shadowwolfmemes]

This person is actually mental

So, uh, I got tagged by my friend @starcrezt about the drama they're in. And I gotta say, this person has actual mental issues, I kid you not.

I reported them for sending me and my friends deaths and for calling me and my friends retards, which is ableist. When I did, they started bitching about it like it meant nothing. I'm sorry, but it's one thing to start beef with me, but to go as far as telling me or my friends to kill themselves? Oh hell nah! I'm not letting that slide! That's not something I'll just casually shrug off, that's an actual threat.

If you're truly gonna "kill" me, I triple dog dare you to! You gonna bark all day, little puppy, or are ya gonna actually bite? Because ain't nobody frightened of you. I blocked you because I have better time than to deal with a hypocritical cringy edgelord.

Seriously? I'm supposed to be scared of an edgy "trans-autistic" wannabe pick me of a teenager? Don't make me laugh. You're less intimidating than a kitten hissing.

Again, no one's scared of you. Pull up to my crib, I dare you...

Or maybe it's because I don't want to deal with an idiot that made me lose braincells talking to you. And what the fuck does "Fork found in kitchen" mean? Can someone please tell me?

Bro, this guilt tripping isn't making me feel bad. If you want my honest answer, I could care less what happens to you. If you actually died, I wouldn't feel bad for you. I'll just go "Oh, that person killed themselves. That's cool or whatever" and move on with my day like nothing happened. Also, how would you send me the video if you're fucking dead? Unless you're not actually killing yourself and just continuing on with your rage bait.

If that makes you happy, I guess...

Also, if you're actually autistic, why would you call someone a slur that's made to hurt autistic people. I know I said the N word multiple times (I'm black), but I definitley wouldn't call people "faggots" or "retards". That's just me, though...

Anyways, that's basically what happened a few minutes ago. And I was literally 30 minutes from home, too.

[ruubesz-draws]

Godzilla with a GUN?!?

[pastelaspirations]

Hello, hi. I'm just uh. Coming in here, plopping myself down and demanding you infodump about this cutie patootie right now. Spare no details. I need to know his backstory, his favorite color, why he's the way he is, his relation to other utmv characters if he has any, and literally everything. Stop freaking out, I will leave your house as soon as you tell me, I promise, stop screaming-

Did I ever show you guys my Sansona ,, kind of ??

I forget that I ever have one of these , I don’t ever use him - I tried to put him in an au once and it didn’t work out

⚠️ WARNING . Blood and . Hemangiomas ? Blood tumors . There’s an evil blood tumor under the cut !! You’ve been warned !!

[cherryfennec]

Summer Times

Hi! I'm finally back from my two week abroad trip!

[licorishh]

double ?? upload ???? yeaaaahh i've gotten FASTERRrr for whatever that's worth so complementary blyla because guess what i miss them too (nobody was surprised by that)

[aghostsnail]

so-so there's this guy (@keferon 's tf mecha au)

[serotoninisheldinkiwis]

im on my bs yall /lh/j

sorry im gonna be not normal abt tf:one but i watched the trailer again and realized somethin wasn't quite right w the way elita-1/ariel moved

and yall

I REALIZED IT LOOKED OFF AND I ZOOMED IN AND???

SHE ROUNDHOUSE KICKS BUT SHE KEEPS A FOOT F I R M L Y PLANTED. HOMEGIRL SWIVELS HER HIPS INDEPENDENTLY OF HER TORSO AND LEG TO GET POWER BEHIND THE KICK. IT MAKES TOTAL SENSE SHE'S A ROBOT SHES NOT A HUMAN HER JOINTS ARE DIFFERENT THAN OURS.

STILL. THATS SO COOL AND IT ALSO ISNT ANYTHING I WOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF MYSELF. THATS SO COOL.

[beadelmare]

manifestation and shifting and all this stuff makes me genuinely so excited. like fym i can manifest anything i want and then if i happen to get bored i can just server hop into another fucking reality

[tesspool]

the silly guys

[kristiliqua]

CHUNSIK MY BELOVEDDDDDD

[spaceistheplaceart]

top 10 coolest ways to light a cigar (ft. Alyx Vance)

[laurrelise]

why have i never seen the painting up close before. this is like seeing an ancient artifact you’ve only heard murmurs about

[imprisoned-marrionetta]

What in the toxic yaoi…..