#but a little more cheerful today!
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Whumptober Day 25 "Faith" HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SETO KAIBA! The man who never stopped believing and his faith was granted!
#prideshipping#seto kaiba#yami yugi#atem#yugioh#arcatskart#I mean it's still#whumptober 2024#but a little more cheerful today!#PARTY HARD!!!!#YOU DESERVE IT!!!!!
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My job is burning around me and I’m only seen as an expendable cog in a giant corporate machine, but at least I have Helpy to lend a brightly colored hand!!! <3
#am I talking about fazbear entertainment or my irl job? nobody knows#what I do know is today I found out we’re getting a salary increase freeze for 6 months at least#which in corporate speak probably means a year or more#and restructuring of the company may happen after that#who needs a livable wage? not me obviously#anyway I just needed my small pink boy to cheer me up and it helped a lil#it was fun drawing his blush that way I may keep doing that. hehe#and he must have pretty pink eyeshadow#I’ll be all good in a few days just processing my life asmkcpjsdklc#my baby bear my little skrunkly guy…..#I need a plush of him to kiss on the forehead…#fnaf#fnaf help wanted#help wanted 2#five nights at freddy's#helpy#fnaf helpy#art
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aki sex will be real TONIGHT 🎉
#three cheers for aki sex#hip hip and hooray#I feel so much better today#I'm a little stuffy but I have more energy#I have boring adult chores to take care of today and then I'll finish up and post!
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good morning everyone !! i hope u all have a wonderful day <3 we’re so close to the weekend !!!
#i have an interview this afternoon and then one in the morning i’m a little nervous for them but#they’re the second and third rounds so i can’t mess up THAT bad#i’m feeling more motivated today so here’s kunikida cheering u on HEHE#and last night i made some goals for april & planned some things to do alone so <3 i think perhaps next month will be better !! 🤍#new theme new month !! spring reset tehe
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I gotta get a new pair of rats soon so the babies won't be alone for too long. new lads.... new era
#then the babies won't be the babies anymore because the new babies will be the babies.......#i don't know feels weird#i'm not replacing fred and joe but my setup is for four rats and the babies are used to having someone else around#it's better to have more than two rats because they are social little creachers#and i'll have to quarantine the new guys for two weeks and then start introductions which will take another two hopefully#that's a long time in rat years#so i should get babies as soon as possible but also I have to arrange for my little baby boy to be cremated :((#this is fucked. evil evil evil#maybe new babies would cheer me up. bring me some joy in these dark times of losing my heart rat#oh also it's my best friend's birthday today lol 👍 i love it here#rayrambles
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❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗
#MAUUU#btw we're so back i'm cooking a fluffy little thing for satoru i'm so happy#wait i just checked it's almost 1.5k words wait this is way more than i thought#is 1.5k considered a drabble or a fic#idk anyway this is dropping today everybody cheers#1.5k is a lot for me rn okay don't judge#mayor of loserville
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chest pains eye pain whole right side of face pain im so tired
#i forgot to update my symptoms diary for like 10 days or more idk i cant math rn#because the brainfog and exhaustion has been too much#i dont know how to not feel like im wasting what little summer there is left#before winter comes back and removes every single speck of joy and sanity for another 6+ months#god sorry today is not my day#no energy for anything rn#i just wanna be mobile and energetic and happy and social again#i hate feeling like im clinging onto something that i can never have again#and wasting time dreading the inevitable#that being my complete isolation and losing all sense of purpose#ugh im sorry this is too much#i need to cheer up somehow#silvi talks
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i kinda forgot how mochizuki does expressions so well that they speak more than texts in an image
esp for someone like oz who has identity crisis going on for him that he doesn't really care who he is as a person so long as it makes others happy (the way later he could care less if people see him as jack the hero rather than just oz)
but the shock in oz's expression as though he had been read so clearly by sharon's words.
also idk it never crossed my mind while i was rereading, but i love that this is just in chapter 2 -- that things would go bad if oz should ever lose sight of himself
bc that's the gist of oz's whole character arc, inching away from just being whatever people want him to be, shying away from his emotions, and accepting himself and what it means to be himself - emotions and past - alike.
#'avil why are you reading pandora hearts again' girl's depressed. turns to comfort media.#tbh im kinda surprised though that i can still pick up new stuff with oz bc oz is my big comfort character#however i also feel like i know /enough/ that i didnt think id pick up more#the treasure lies in the little details lol#also yeah im just liveblogging/trying to infodump to cheer myself up lmao#feel free to block the liveblog tag idk how long ill be reading ph today before i switch to things i should probably be working on#anyways#the thing about oz is that hes always rejected himself#you see it in the way he talks to break about himself#or like. he hates himself so much that he rejects alice and gilbert later down the line when he finds out the truth about himself#to lose sight of himself like that means the end#i guess for me his story has always been about growth from that and it feels nice to fall back into that and watch him grow#anyways if i turn into an oz blog. you know lmao#avil reads ph#i always wanted to reread ph again but the starting chapters are kinda too slow for me alksjdfalkh#just throw me straight into the isla yura arc and beyond#you know another thing though. that rejection of oz himself. parallel that with leo's rejection of self later that he hides away and allows#oswald to take over blahblah#*i dont think this makes sense im just blabbing now*
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i'm so angry and heartbroken and i think this is all i will ever be
#no it's not pms :( Jeremy is still missing and i haven't slept well waiting for him#it's getting so cold too#all my ''''progress'''' this year means nothing to me#also my sister is here because she didn't have to work yesterday and today and my brother video called her not knowing she was here#and when she picked up he was all cheerful and happy and it sounded like they video call often#(he texted me only a few times when he moved to the north and not a single time since he moved to Argentina)#and when he realized she was here he sort of got quiet and asked if i was around and she pointed the camera at me which always makes me sic#so i didn't look or wave and i didn't say anything and he said “she's got he headphones on” and my sister said no lol and it was awkward#then she told him we are all sad about Jeremy and said me in particular#i've been so sad and moody and angry#i can't do anything because of this anguish i feel#can't read or watch movies because i can't concentrate#i watched the emperor's new groove the other day to cheer up a little but it made sad#nostalgia doesn't work for me when i'm down like this because i see through it lol and i remember i spent my whole childhood scared#i remember i was certain something bad would happen to me (and it did but not as tragic as what i was scared of)#i'm rambling. i should be journaling instead#...#Keanu is with me now and i can't even look at him without tearing up because i start thinking about Jeremy#it's so cold and he's probably hungry. if he's even alive#the cats are all i have. i spend more time with them than with the only 2 humans i can interact with without throwing up (mom and sister)#you know how they say cats mirror twhe personality of their humans :( Jeremy is exactly like me. my mom and siblings used to joke about it#he hides when people come over to the house:( he pees himself when strangers touch him :(#we have the vet come over so we don't have to take him out of the house#and the vet is the only person he's forced to see. he pees himself when she touches him too#i can't stop thinking about how he's doing if he's still alive because he gets scared so easily and he's so anxious#i'm so angry because i should go outside and look for him but i can't even picture myself out of this house#i feel so betrayed too. because one thing is my stupid sick head thinking there's no amount of therapy or meds that could work for me#but why is my family listening to me when i say these things. why don't they get me lobotomized or something#maybe it is a bit of pms#📓
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Avizandum and Rex Igneous are ex-lovers change my mind
#okay look silly little head cannons make the show so much more fun for me#I was upset about something today and so one of my coworkers started talking about the dragon prince to cheer me up#and we talked about Rex Igneous for sooooo long omg#the dragon prince#tdp#the dragon prince season 4#rex igneous
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What happened to fashion shows? Why does everyone look stoned out of their minds? What happened to the class of old school models?
Even just in this collage, you can see a delineation from models who wore their personalities on their faces, to dead-eyed dress-up dolls. Something happened in the 80s and 90s haute couture landscape that began begging their models to become little more than living, breathing mannequins, staring vapidly at the audience and camera as if they had no souls. Can we bring back smiling models once more?
#I remember I was watching a Victoria's Secret fashion show once (for the musical guest that year)#And I saw one of the models smiling seemingly genuinely like she was having a good time#She had a pep in her step#And I found it so charming because you just don't see that anymore today#Models today look so grim and dour#Like cheer up! You're wearing an outfit that cost more than most will make in a lifetime!#Maybe seem a little grateful or like you actually have a dream job?#''And what do you do?''#''Why I walk around in high fashion for a living''#Your life could be worse ya know?
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Ok I'm doing emotionally better than earlier. Though I managed to trigger an Arm Ache by Holding my arm in a weird position (to clean the machine) and My arm being too cold 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 I guess.
I took an ibuprofen but it hasn't done a damn thing. Which means it's time to wrap my arm in the hot pad to get a moment of damn peace 😮💨
#speculation nation#it's shit like this that makes me suspect i have fibro lol#and the constant rib cartilage pain#yes constant. it is Always There.#the arm aches r flares though. and boy do i got it rn lmao#in my right arm today. especially bad on the like... underside of my wrist area#it's bad enough that my pinky kinda feels a bit tingly. 😔#it'll be. fine. ill put some heat on it and itll hopefully be better in the morning.#man i wanted to game to cheer myself up but it sure is in a spot that would make it. unpleasant. to hold my switch. ugh.#instead i guess ill just hang out a little bit and then go to sleep#tumblr. and maybe replying to some more comments. if i can get to it.#ive gotten... a lot of comments this past chapter 🥺🥺🥺🥺 love my readers
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— good morning uvu & happy friday
#⌈ ✨ ⌉ OOC. || ✧ –––– KOOBIE OR NOT KOOBIE.#\\ i'm using my sun therapy lamp so hopefully i'll cheer up a little more today ;v;
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Playing the Sonic vs Shadow fight of sa2 Shadow edition and if SONIC FARTS AT ME ONE MORE TIME WITH HIS SONIC WIND AND KICKS ME OFF THE PLATFORM I AM GOING TO SCREAM
#sth#personal#sonic adventure 2#gaming#I am once again in the depression dumps today and I thought maybe progressing this game would cheer me up a little more#but not when I keep failing a boss fight that I just finished last night in reverse#not looking forward to going to work tomorrow either with this depression#cuz last week it lasted till Wednesday night#man if like a million dollars fell out of the sky with my name on it that would be great#cuz then I can just move out of this tiny cramped house and not have to worry about having a day job#and just doodle and game and crochet to my heart’s content
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you are doing the lord's work
I kinda needed that thank you 😭 I'm opening my word doc rn and I've got the power of god and anime on my side
#I need both for this chapter lmao#oh man wait#I need to edit a 7k? god lord I need to shut up more lmao#but thank you anon#I kinda really needed a little cheer on today 💙
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On one hand I'd really like to join some warrior cats rp again it's been soooooooo long guys I need to go back to my roots lmao, but on the other there just. Aren't really many i'd feel safe in. Nearly every one I saw that mildly interested me ended up being filled with (or just exclusive to) fanpol, having extremely complicated downright incomprehensible rules and roles and requirements and whatnot on their discords, or their admins just being, really aggressive?? For some reason?? Especially the case on polish ones, they really do hate everyone else on there these people are vicious man. And also because I'd probably get booted if I go offline for more than a week but that's just how I roll I'm an easily intimidated little cat..
#does anyone like. know any that are cool#trying to fix me via going back to being a silly goofy guycatthing <333 or not really going back i don't think i actually ever got to do it#in the first place my former wattpad days looking back have been filled with misery and hostility 😔😔#to the one guy that is still following me on here who knew me on wattpad years ago: hi. whats up. i forgor you were here even. cheers#mine#who has had it harder: jesus christ on the cross or the average proship guy into wc just trying to exist-#also today morning brutus (iykyk) graced me with a visit and we actually got to talk for a little while :3#way more chill than icy was to me. You're my friend now. We're gonna have.... water later
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