#but Yes i considered using the sheep for the sheep game. thanks so much for asking!

[fairymint]

W-Why did you not do Wooloo as the fc???

B-b-buh Because Wooloo may have some very good faces, but there are still only like fuckin 20 of them.

hjkdslksdf in all seriousness, I did take a look, but in the long term i tend to have issues when the fc is less emotive overall!

i mean look at this guy. he is so fucking round and funny. but one may have to like, draw new ones, reuse a lot, or rely more on text. if you can do it, more power to you!

But i also just kinda wanted something a bit more personalized, too. A fluffy white sheep with an undocked tail is more my style here. And mincinno fits the art style slightly better imo, he is like a little man. There's icons here that actually fit some story elements too. i'm just being a creative lil guy!

i also like the headcanon that his wool and tail grew out later on, for like symbolic story reasons with sheep farming. i hope his long and fluffy sheep tail scares people in-character, i think that would be funny.

[kaleldobrev]

Never the Favorite

Pairing: Dean Winchester x F. Reader

Platonic Pairing: Sam Winchester & F. Reader

Summary: You finally try and set the record straight

Word Count: 844

Warnings: Cursing (1x)

Authors Note: Takes place during season one | Something that always got me, is whenever Sam said something along the lines of Dean being the favorite child. Like Sam, he wasn’t and it was pretty clear so that’s what I based this fic on | Let me know if you like the new way I have formatted | If you liked this, don’t forget to like & reblog. I really appreciate it! Feedback is always welcome ♡

It was another classic Sam and Dean argument — Sam telling Dean how he was never the favorite child growing up and how Dean actually was; and how much of a black sheep of the family Sam had felt because he didn't want to go into the family business. It was an argument and a sentiment that you were so used to hearing at this point that you could pretty much recite word for word their replies. The boys were starting to sound like broken records, and you and Dean had only picked up Sam from Stanford a few months ago.

You didn't want to get involved in their argument as you felt like it wasn't really your place, but there was a part of you that started to get annoyed with Sam, because you knew that Dean was never the favorite — Sam always was. You knew how hard Dean had tried over the years to try and get his father's approval, but it was approval that he would never be able to get, no matter how hard he tried. It killed you inside, because you loved Dean for who he truly was, not who he was pretending to be.

But because you had heard this argument so many times, you had told yourself that you were finally going to say something to Sam; to try and stop this argument once and for all.

Parking Baby and cutting the engine, Dean pulled out his wallet from the glove compartment, pulling out a crumpled up 20 that he won from a poker game a few nights ago. “Gonna grab some snacks. Either of you want anything?” He asked before turning to you. “Want your usual chocolate anything?”

You gave him a small smile. “Yes please. And orange soda if they have it.”

“Getting you the bottle this time. ‘Cause I don’t want another spilling incident like last time with the can,” he said, giving you a wink. “How about you?” He asked, turning to Sam.

“I’m good thanks,” Sam nodded, before pulling out his phone and promptly started checking his e-mail.

“Alrighty,” Dean said, getting out of the car. “Be back in ten.”

As soon as Dean was out of eyeshot and earshot, you sat up closer to the passenger side where Sam was, placing a hand on the back of the seat. “Hey, I know he’s your brother and the whole point of brothers is basically being assholes to each other but, I really need you to lay off the whole Dean being the favorite stuff.”

Sam turned to you, placing his phone in his lap; the look he gave you was of pure confusion. “But he is the favorite. Always has, always will be. I know you probably wouldn’t know that consider —”

“I’m gonna stop you right there,” you began, slight attitude in your voice. “I’ve been hunting with Dean and your father for about a year now, and let me tell you, I didn’t need to be around for your childhoods to know that you were and are still the very clear favorite.”

“Me? The favorite?” He scoffed. “I don’t think so.”

You rolled your eyes. “Did it ever occur to you why he’s so similar to your dad? Why he barely shows any of his actual interests around anyone but me? Dean wears his jacket, listens to the same music, says the same phrases.”

“But…that’s how Dean always has been," Sam stated. For as long as he could remember, that's always how he remembered Dean, being so similar to their father. Memories flashed before him, recalling numerous times where him and his father sang along to Zeppelin during one of their many insanely long car rides to Pastor Jim's, or how Dean would refuse to go anywhere without their father's leather jacket.

"You really know nothing about your brother do you?" You asked him, slight sadness and hurt entering your voice. You hadn't known for very long, but you had known him long enough for him to start letting you in and getting to know the real him, and not the facade he let everyone else believe. "The only reason Dean acts like your father is because in his mind, if he acts like him he'll get the approval he always wanted that you never had to try and get." You felt your blood start to boil. "So please stop with the fucking favorite argument okay? I'm sick and tired of it."

Sam was silent for a moment, as he's never seen you this angry before nor has he ever seen you this defensive of anyone. As much as he wanted to disagree with you, he knew that he couldn't because he clearly didn't know Dean the way that you did. He might of spent 18 years of his life on the road with him, but he didn't actually know him. "Okay," he finally said, slightly sighing.

"Just...don't tell Dean I said any of this to you okay?" You asked him, slightly patting his shoulder.

"Of course," he said, slightly smiling.

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[spacebarbarianweird]

Don't Go Where I Can't Follow

Summary: Astarion and Tiriel break up for a few months. Set six years post-game and fourteen years ago before Alethaine is born.

Tags: hurt\comfort, angst, reconciliation, another episode of 'killing your abusers, soft smut TW: a mild description of a rape attempt, a conversation about SA

Thanks @themadlu for beta-reading!

Read on AO3

Masterlist

Headcanons

Astarion decides he’s had enough.

Three months. Three months since he fucked up. He fucked up so bad he isn’t going to forgive himself. 

He let Tiriel go.

The past year was difficult for both of them. Astarion decided she influenced his actions and thoughts too much and he started resenting her after noticing how many traits he’d picked up from her.

Mannerisms. Words. Ways of thinking.

He used to be a white sheet and Tiriel wrote his new personality.

Astarion would lash at her. Demanded she stop influencing his every decision or action.

They would yell at each other. A few times they even got physical, much like two drunk bugbears trying to release all the anger they had within.

Tiriel started avoiding Astarion. When he wanted to hug her, to kiss, to cuddle – she would deny him the pleasure of physical touch.

Then yet another fight. Cruel, heartless, mean, and acid.

Tiriel said she’d had enough. She didn’t want to see Astarion anymore.

Neither did he her.

For the first month, Astarion was happy. No one was manipulating his actions, and no one made important decisions for him.

He could be himself.

But then, he realized how big his dark tent was. How empty and silent his days were. How he tried to spend more and more time trancing only to relive memories of Tiriel.

It’s his fault he lost her.

Tiriel did so much for him and that’s how he repaid her? Calling her all possible slurs? Telling her to get lost?

Astarion has had enough. He needs to find Tiriel.

He loves her. It’s not about her giving him blood or sharing her warmth. If anything, he can always pay someone to feed on, to have sex and cuddle with after.

It’s not about that.

No one is like Tiriel. No one.

But how is he going to look for her? She could have gone anywhere! They are far from the Sword Coast, and the wilderness is familiar to her. Tiriel could go so far that Astarion will never find her.

Idiot, he told himself. Idiot.

Maybe she has already found someone else, someone who values her as much as she deserves.

Maybe, years later, he will meet her happily married and with kids and the only thing he will be able to do is to promise he’ll look after her progeny when she is gone.

Three days last like hell. Astarion feels like a bloodhound or a bounty hunter as he sniffs the air trying to catch her familiar scent.

This is ridiculous.  

He will never find her.

.. The town of Moranay greets him with seagull squeals and the reek of farms. Astarion covers his head with his hood – without Tiriel he has no idea how  “vampiric” his looks really are. This kingdom, Implitur, is so underdeveloped in comparison with any city-state of the Sword Coast! And these small towns… They would be considered disgustingly poor in the West!

No, it can’t be…

Astarion stirs up trying to catch the scent better. 

Yes. It’s her.

Tiriel was here a mere couple hours ago.

He looks around and notices a drunk man, half-elf to be precise, puking by the tree and completely wasted.

“What are you staring at?! Get lost!”

A few other adventurers, probably celebrating a successful hunt, are also heavily drunk, but Tiriel is nowhere to be seen. The corpse of a monster lies in the dirt, guts open. After hesitating, Astarion realizes it’s a barghest, a monstrous hound known for ripping sheep's throats.

There is only one inn in the town and the closer Astarion gets, the more anxious he becomes.

What if she isn’t alone. What if she doesn’t want to see him?

He approaches the door to the tavern. The invisible threshold fades when the innkeeper notices Astarion and invites him inside. The vampire goes upstairs.

There.

Astarion touches the doorknob.

Tiriels is fast asleep under a blanket and Astarion watches her with awe. So beautiful, so precious.

He wants to get close to her, but the invisible threshold doesn’t let him in. 

“Tiriel” He starts. “Tiriel, please…”

Tiriel opens her eyes and stares at him in shock for a brief moment. 

“Tiriel, please, I am sorry! I am so sorry!”

Tiriel sits up. Astarion thinks he will go and face the sun if she casts him away.

“Come here!” She smiles. “Took you long enough!”

Before he realizes what he’s doing, Astarion is already kneeling by her bed. He wraps his arms around her waist pressing his face into her stomach. Her heart is so loud it’s the only thing Astarion can hear. 

Tiriel runs her fingers along his hair and Astairon weeps.

He could have lost her. There was a chance he would never see her again.

Ever.

But she is here, with him, warm and soft. He won’t let her go anywhere. 

“Hush, my love,” Tiriel murmurs. “That’s all right, you are with me now.”

“Please forgive me.”

“There is nothing to ask forgiveness for. We both needed a break.” She caresses his back, but the light armor he’s wearing prevents him from feeling anything. “I wanted to go looking for you, too. After… Well…Forget it.”

Astarion lets her go and sits beside her on the bed. 

“What?”

“Nothing,” Tiriel turns away.

“Hey, do you realize three months is merely nothing for elves? I haven’t forgotten your body language. What happened?”

Tiriel suddenly pulls away as if embarrassed. 

“Two days ago I met a man. Half-elf, like me.  We chatted. He was nice. Kind. Funny. He came to my tent the next day, and I let him in.”

Astarion stirs and feels a wave of anger. So, she did find someone to replace him. Someone warm and alive. 

“Wait, let me finish,” Tiriel presses her legs against her chest. “The moment I took my shirt off I felt … off… Embarrassed? Disgusting? His hands were too warm, his body too sweaty. Maybe it was ale or the desire to hurt you for leaving me. I don’t know. But I didn’t want him close to me anymore. He wasn’t you. So, I told him to fuck off. I told him I had someone. That it was a mistake.”

Tiriel bites her lower lip.

“He got angry. All his sweet words were gone. It was the fury of a man who didn’t get what he wanted. Well… I am not a good fighter when I am naked. He hit me. Five or six times. He tried to rip the rest of my clothes off but finally, the rage kicked in and I beat the shit out of him.” 

Astarion stands up. His thoughts are a mess. He left Tiriel all alone. She decided to sleep with someone else but changed her mind. The rejected half-elf tried to rape her. 

“When I finally got rid of him and found another place to spend the night, I cried. I cried because of my shame, because of my own stupidity, because someone else saw me naked. After all, I allowed him to touch me. And then I got angry at you for abandoning me after everything I did for you. And after that, I was angry at myself for even thinking about you being in debt with me. So, I… Well… Let’s say I thought I had a dream when I saw you at my door.”

They are both quiet for a moment.

“What can I do for you?” Astarion asks.

Tiriel smiles. Stands up from the bed and takes her shirt off. In a few seconds, she is naked and he sees bruises mottling her skin.

“They are not from him. I fell from a roof yesterday chasing the beast. Well, maybe some of them are from him, but I got more bruised from the fall.” 

Astarion puts his hands on her waist.

“Do you … “ Astarion’s words are stuck in his throat. Is it the right moment? She is always so understanding with his issues and she literally said she had almost been assaulted.

“I missed you,” she says. “Missed your voice. Missed your passion. Missed your face,” she gently pushes him to the bed. “And besides, I had never let any man touch me before you and I am so ready to forget that asshole’s fingers on my skin.”

Tiriel unfastens his belt and the straps of his armor. Intrusive thoughts are immediately back awoken by a few months of loneliness.

Astarion used to be undressed in the same manner. Women and men he barely knew treated him like an inferior thing, existing only for their pleasure. Drunk and dirty, they were barely capable of realizing the person they’d hooked up with wasn’t even alive.

“Are you all right?” Tiriel asks. “Do you want to stop?”

Her voice returns him to the present moment.

Her nipples have hardened due to cold air and she looks vulnerable without armor. The upper part of her body is elven – narrow shoulders and thin hands. The bottom part is human, her legs are muscular and strong and her butt cheeks are round.

She is perfect.

He kisses her lips and then traces her neck with his tongue. Tiriel finally gets rid of his trousers and Astarion moans when her fingers run along his member.

The next moment, they are already one.

Tiriel wraps herself around him, her core hell-hot. Astarion rolls his hips and the half-elf moans right in his ear, touching his earlobe with her tongue.

“I am not letting you go any more,”  he says as his movements become rougher and rougher with every thrust. “I am not letting you go.”

Tiriel moans and squirms in his hands. Her mouth is pressed against the nape of his neck and with yet another thrust her teeth pierce his cold skin as if she wanted to draw his blood.

“Imagining being a vampire, darling?” He pulls her hair forcing Tiriel to see his face. “Eyes on me.”

She nods.

Be it because of the long absence or because he got too excited to see her, orgasm comes quickly. He feels as if he was thrown in boiling water that immediately got pleasantly warm and his mind completely shut itself down.

Tiriel gently releases herself and goes to pick up a piece of clean cloth to wipe his groin and the space between her legs. Once she’s done, she lies beside Astarion pressing his head against her chest.

“Tiriel.”

“Hm? Sorry, I still need a couple hours to sleep.”

“Please don’t leave anymore.”

“Sure,” she kisses his forehead. “But mind me, I have a sensitive soul, too!”

Soon, she is fast asleep in his arms and Atsairon relaxes.

Everything is going to be all right from now on.

Everything.

**

The following night, they leave Moranay and set on their path to the south. Astarion notices the half-elf he met the day before. Suddenly Tiriel’s heart beats faster and she grabs Astarion’s hand.

“It’s him, isn't he?” He hisses.

Tiriel nods.

Astarion feels rage filling his dead veins. She is so strong and fierce, but in the presence of her potential rapist, she is no different than any other woman of any race or any age.

Before the half-elf realizes anything, Astarion has already knocked him down. The bastard is strong but there is nothing he can do against a furious vampire.

“Fuck!” The man tries to set himself free. “Please, don’t kill me!”

Astarion bares his fangs, wishing his eyes glowed in the dark.

“I care only about one person in this world and you hurt her. Why should I show mercy?” Astarion murmurs enjoying the man’s fear. “I like when my prey fights back, it makes their blood sweeter.”

Tiriel finally composes herself and approaches Astarion. He notices an evil smile lurking on her face. 

“Where did he hit you?”

“Astarion…”

“Where?”

“Mostly my chest and stomach. Also tried to suffocate me.”

“Please… Please, Tiriel,” the man begs. “Tell him! I won't tell anyone! Please!”

Astarion looks at Tiriel.

“Up to you, darling. Just leave some blood for me.”

Tiriel crouches close to them. “I asked you to stop, too. And what did you tell me? You said that I was a slut and sluts like me exist only to satisfy men’s desires. Also, you told me about what happened to other women who dared to say ‘no’ to you. Why should I have mercy on you? Besides, when you date a vampire you certainly pick up bad traits. One of them is lack of forgiveness.”

Astarion stares at Tiriel. She's never talked like that before. She has always been too kind, too merciful…

He likes it when she is so mean.

Astarion smashes the man’s chest with his fist. Bones break with a delicious sound. The rapist wheezes as his lungs collapse. The scent of blood becomes unbearable and Astarion rips his throat.

Scared victims taste the best.

Astarion thinks that maybe he can let the man live after mutilating him so much he won't be able to hurt anyone anymore. Maybe he should castrate him and stuck his own testicles in his mouth.

But before the thought morphs into anything rational, the man is already dead.

Astarion releases the corpse and stands up. Blood lets him feel alive. Warm. Satiated. 

Happy.

Tiriel kisses his stained cheek.

At dawn, they both sit in their shared tent and Astarion suddenly realizes it’s rather small.

“A question,” Tiriel finally asks.

“Hm? 

“If he had managed to take me by force, what would you have done to him?”

“I would have flayed his skin slowly and painfully,” Astarion casually says. “And I wouldn’t have killed him. I would have hung him on the tree to meet his demise.”

Tiriel puts her head on his shoulder.

“And would you still want me after that?”

“I should be offended by this question.”

“But?” Tiriel gets dark. “Astarion, I ask this because this is important to me. He didn't assault me. I protected myself. But what if I didn't?”

Astarion turns away. The thought creeps into his mind. It could happen. It can happen. 

“Tiriel,” he whispers “I was raped and abused more times than I can count and I don’t remember a good chunk of it all. You never thought of me as dirty or unworthy. Why should I?”

“I don't know, maybe, because my ‘purity’ somehow has a different meaning.”

“Purity… I was a dirty whore for two centuries. You could choose anyone else but chose me to be your first. How would I even dare to see you lesser than you are if some pathetic excuse for a male took you without your consent? I know how it feels, Tiriel. I know what it is to be used. To be assaulted. Not to be able to protect yourself. To be degraded and humiliated. To be used by a few people at once. When you are a mere sack of meat and nothing more. You never asked me, but you knew from the start that… well… that cunt used me for his own pleasure in bed for a few decades before I finally became so dirty and filthy he decided to send me to the streets.”

“Sort of easy to guess. I’ve met a lot of women who were through similar shit.”

“And still wanted me, still loved me, still cared,” Astarion caresses her cheek. “What kind of person would I be if I resented you for a minor version of what happened to me?”

Tiriel kisses his fingers.

“You know, I sort of liked what you said back there.”

“What exactly?”

“That I am the only person you care about.”

“Well look at this, I’ve spoiled you!” Astarion laughs. “Back when we met you weren't that selfish.”

“I wasn't. You taught me to be.”

Astarion tugs her onto his lap and as they sit together he watches the sun coloring the woods in its light.

--- Tag List

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[ane-doodles]

Hello! Love your multiple Lambs and your artstyle! You, me, @poppy-purpura, and @agnusloomis are the only ones I know of currently with multiple Lambs. Tell me of your Sorrow and Fondness Lamb, and also the Showman. How did those two come to be? Drink water plenty. May a kind week grace you.

Yayayaya! At first I tried to resist having so many AUs... but in the end it's something that makes me happy, even if I'm not able to write/draw a good story for everyone in the end.

Oh yes rambling time LETS GO!! (notice that a LONG post is coming)

Suemy (Fondness & Sorrows AU) This is born from a kind of "What if" from Chain for a promise, in which instead of Avana being the last lamb, the one who survives is her twin sister Suemy.

If you have had the opportunity to read my little ramblings previously you will have an idea of what this entails, if not I will tell you already: in CFP the tragedy occurs two days before Suemy's wedding, she and her partner being the first to die, followed by the parents of the family and finally Caleb (the older brother) who dies protecting Avana.

However, in F&S the formula changes: Caleb and Suemy's partner are the first to die in order to give the sheeps time to escape, but this does not last more than a couple of days since both are found easily and in an attempt desperate to protect her sister, Avana dies, leaving Suemy alone as the lamb of the prophecy.

Suemy is someone sweet, kind, I originally designed her based on the image of a princess with a heart of gold and a soft and melodious voice. So here she is now, heartbroken, alone, incapable of attachment, completely detached from the cult and fulfilling a mission assigned to her while grief suffocates her. She becomes an untouchable and perfect figure in the eyes of her followers, but inside so small with a wound that she herself refuses to let heal and that bleeds her heart every day.

But, "oh lucky one... A god has set his eyes on her.

In two lives immersed in the sadness of loss and betrayal, both meet to perhaps repair a little of the damage accumulated by the passage of time and repressed feelings.

Narinder was initially hardened by the pain and frustration of his siblings' betrayal, combined with the helplessness of being dependent on someone else to free himself. A whirlwind of strong and changing emotions within him that blind his vision, focusing only on a revenge calculated for more than a thousand years without rest...

But a hardened heart is capable of softening in the face of the purest tears, and with a delicate hand the wounds can be sutured..."

This AU is a kind of Post-Canon bad ending Hurt/Comfort. There is not much plot to tell, it focuses mainly on the thousand and one ways in which Narinder cares for and pampers the lamb in order to make her feel good, while at the same time the desire for revenge (the main reason for being freed) is replaced with the desire to protect such a delicate flower that bleeds in his hands.

.......

Now, about The Showman... Funny story

This lamb was supposed to be my Lambsona, something for personal use to scribble among my class notes... But little by little it evolved.

The Box AU is a sort of "bin of discarded ideas" (it basically has all the ideas, scenes, and dynamics that I decided to leave out or modify from CFP but still enjoy). The Box AU is totally self-indulgent and I'm still amazed today at how far I've come in thinking about this AU (I've even considered twisting it a bit and turning it into an original story).

Anyway, the story in a nutshell: In short the game was broken.

Einar is a black sheep, they was separated from the group due to superstitions, but they never took It the wrong way. They became a kind of traveler/storyteller when they abandoned their flock, thanks to this they was the last lamb to survive.

The lamb is strong... Too strong actually, but they lacks any battle skills which makes them die often (it's based on my save file, because despite playing on easy mode I'm terrible at combat). Frustrated with this, they decides to find another way to complete their mission of freeing The One Who Waits.

By chance, they discovers a book with ancient knowledge of the gods of the ancient faith, where there are multiple rituals forgotten by time. Thanks to this, they learn a way to invoke the god of death and free him from his punishment!! ...But with the price that he is now trapped in a mortal body with his powers reduced and a suppressed rage towards the lamb.

Even so, Einar considers it a victory and offers to help him rebuild, expand and please the cult, so that through devotion his powers return, but of course, the crown is missing.

It turns out that the crown is "stuck" to Einar's head, as they were designated as the perfect vessel, which is why the crown rejects the cat's attempts to retrieve it. On one occasion Narinder reviews the ancient book of the lamb and discovers a possible solution to his problem... A union ritual. Once he and the lamb unite the power of the crown will be divided, then it will be a matter of getting rid of the usurper.

Either way, this won't be so easy. Since in this AU Narinder and the lamb don't really know each other (the ritual happens before confronting Leshy). So there you see Narinder behind the lamb trying to convince him of a marriage while Einar rejects him a thousand and one times without the slightest interest and trying to discover a way to grow the cult.

I love the dynamic between these two in this AU. A combination of comedy, silliness, misunderstandings, adorableness, and a manhwa-style romance (because hey, the marriage of convenience trope has to come from somewhere).

I like to imagine that between Narinder's frustrated attempts to conquer/convince Einar, he gradually develops a special affection for them, while for his part the lamb sees the god as a companion, a friend and someone with whom maybe they wants to identify himself in some way (you know... A black sheep and a black cat)

And well! This is a kind of summary/introduction!!

I'm sorry for making such a LONG text, but I really like thinking about them and the idea of sharing a bit of my brainrot was too tempting to contain...

F&S doesn't have much material currently, but I'm drawing a couple of sketches from time to time (still figuring out how to do Narinder's post-imprisonment design).

On the contrary, Box AU has a considerable amount of material, scenes, ideas, sketches and even its own shitten with a sequel! So if you're interested in that let me know and I'll make a super post dedicated to this AU.

Have a wonderful day!!

[sdyd]

* ALWAYS WATCHING OVER YOU. sentence starters from kaigan games' horror series, simulacra. change pronouns / tense as necessary.

now we are luminous, a bright star. all shall see us !

I've been trying to reach out ...

thank god I found this phone.

you are not worthy of respect.

poor unfortunate soul.

you're just like the rest, a sheep.

tragic. we can change that.

you think you can stop me ?

I have no use for someone who accepts the world they are given.

no one truly deserves anything.

I ate and entire pizza by myself in five minutes.

tell me I'm pretty.

material attachment is so pedestrian.

behind your glass screens, behind your black mirrors, is a reflection of reality.

we seek those with extraordinary influence.

you are lost.

it is easy to be led astray when you are so broken.

you deserve to be followed.

you looked through his phone ?!

he has the nerve to accuse me of invading his privacy.

you're the one who went out of line.

I am not even mad, just disappointed.

how are you feeling ?

can you stop being so emotional right now ?

you've got the wrong person.

I'm not who you think I am.

you're better than this, [ name ].

what are you rambling about ?

maybe he'll slip up and tell you something we don't know.

there's something on my mind ...

it's not my fault that she left you.

if you're obsessed with me, I get it.

there's something off about him.

it's too late for me.

she can still be saved.

do not trust its' words.

nothing is what it seems.

I saw him, then I blacked out.

it only reveals itself too its' chosen

he told you, didn't he ?

I am her as she is me.

if it is me you wish to see, so be it.

impressive. a worthy pretender.

you have seen through my mask.

do you crave the truth so badly ?

the material society is fading, a digital one taking its' place.

she did nothing wrong and nothing right.

is that how you've been feeling ?

expecting him to follow you is pointless.

your actions will carry weight. live with them.

fuck this silent treatment. fuck it so much.

hello, worm.

don't forget your headphones.

no more losing, only growing.

when you look into my eyes, you can see it looking back.

join the fun !

worms, how are we feeling today ?

my followers are my puny worms.

there is no end or beginning.

we will never be separated.

pretender.

soon, this will become your reality.

hola chikas !

grovel as we consider your divinity.

that old fool mistakeningly thinks he has solved this.

your concept of right and wrong eludes me.

your own suffering will lead you back to us

how does it feel when everyone leans on you for guidance ?

don't compare yourself to me. ever. you're not on my level and you never will be.

don't you kids link everything to the cloud these days ?

are you having a stroke ?

who's going to believe us if we said some face - tearing monster killed them ?

I'm not a cartoon rabbit.

life hurts a lot more than death.

yes, a person was ruined.

this is not your memory.

I was lost and you sensed my need. I followed your path and you kept me from falling.

you need a form. a new body, a new face. a true face ... I will do this for you.

what is the current status of the investigation ?

[ name ] appears to be on this alone.

focus, please.

tell me, what do you see ?

step, seek, and proceed.

your path is coming to an end.

tell me, what do you doubt ?

find the truth.

my perversion fails to deceive you. you have seen through my mask.

what's the worst that could happen ?

we will never be separated.

you showed me that the human heart can hide so much more.

you have given me a great gift.

why won't you just let him be happy ?

this cannot be !

you and I are not that different.

I'm really scared. I've been trying to reach out.

I asked for your name.

then who will save me ?

it's getting harder to think.

I need to get out of here !

help me defeat this thing, [ name ] !

I'm right here. you won't go through this alone.

you should go.

it's up to you now.

promise that you'll remember me ?

I'm glad your here.

the only way forward is to disappear.

who am I to deny their wish ?

no one deserves that.

I should have paid more attention.

I valued my own ambition over their cries for help.

I forgot who I was.

is it really that easy ?

everything is slipping away.

you really think I can do this ?

embrace your sins.

you wear the face of a ghost.

you're unable to exist without something to latch onto.

GET ! OUT ! OF ! MY ! HEAD !

I don't know what to say ...

you pulled me back. thank you.

that's what partners are for.

I'm not letting you go that easily !

thanks for believing in me.

we've got so much to talk about.

I'm not afraid anymore. I feel clarity.

don't deny its' voice, let it through.

I just embraced the truth.

I'm here. I'm not leaving you.

you've seen the damage I can do.

no one deserves that.

you're safe, you're with me.

now, where were we ?

I can't lose you too !

I'm on my way ! just stay on the line !

you can do this.

[itspkuwu]

EEnE headcanons

Double D is only nice to Kevin sometimes because he doesn’t want him to beat up Eddy. Besides for that one time when Double D thought Eddy deserved it for making him think he had an illness. And because he knows that even Double D can get aggravated with Eddy, Kevin tries to encourage him to pick on the con man with friendly interactions. So it’s kinda sorta like gaslighting. But Double D still doesn’t trust him because he knows this. He cares about Eddy too much. Not to mention that pretty much everyone in the cul de sac is nice to Double D because Double D is nice to them. What goes around comes around. Sarah is a huge example of this, she literally has a crush on him.

Plus I feel like Double D did somewhat feel bad for Eddy getting a beating afterwards.

Stuffed Pig’s Head is only a meal Rolf’s people eats when a swine has been put down from old age. They say the inner strength and soul of the dead pig will give those who consume it power to continue on. So it’s considered a tribute to the cycle of life. (And it would explain why Rolf hasn’t eaten Wilfred lol)

Marie does May’s nails.

There’s a big red and purple scar under Double D’s hat. When he was extremely little, probably just a few weeks before reaching 2, his curiosity found him in the middle of a dodgeball game with much older kids who teased him for being bad at the game. Later on, Double D built a machine that would launch dodgeballs like rapid fire. He met those same kids and again and used his invention in the next game. Something went wrong, and he, along with the other kids there were sent to the hospital, leaving him with the scar. His parents were utterly ashamed of his actions. The young genius they were raising had turned out to be a monster. Thus, they thought it was better to move to Peach Creek to try and leave this tragic event in their lives behind. Poor Double D is constantly reminded of the guilt whenever his hat is removed. And his parents, now distant and somewhat afraid of their son, community with him through sticky notes.

And yes, his mother stopped rubbing his feet with oil after the incident.

Ed is neurodivergent autistic.

So is Jonny

Rolf’s mother use to comfort him a lot when he was little, hence why he tends to shout “MAMA!” whenever he’s afraid or in pain.

Jimmy is a demi boy

Kevin and Nazz were considered a thing, but “broke up” cause it just wasn’t working out. Later, Nazz realized she was more in to girls and Kevin thought he’d just be better off single. Plus he was in love with his bike anyway

Blue is a natural hair color

Kevin was Rolf’s first friend he made in the cul-de-sac and was the one who taught The Son of a Shepard (TM) how to play sports.

Nazz is a hippie

Sarah was taught to hate Ed by their parents

Wilfred, Victor, etc are Rolf’s emotional support animals for his ptsd towards the wolf incident he experienced as a kid.

In the actual incident, the “wolf man” tore the baby sheep’s head off with his teeth. Leaving poor Rolf traumatized.

And that’s also why Rolf keeps all the sheep in his “lair”, he wants to protect them.

There’s a program in Peach Creek where the elementary schoolers are allowed to visit the jr high, hence why Jimmy and Sarah are there sometimes despite their young ages.

Speaking of ages

Ed, Edd, n Eddy: 12-13 

Sarah: 7-8 

Jimmy: 6-7 

Jonny 2x4: 11-12 

Nazz: 13-14

Kevin: 13-14 

Rolf: 14-15

May: 11-12

Marie: 12-13

Lee: 13-14

Eddy’s Brother: 23

Plank: Immortal God

Yes, Plank is alive. Magic powers.

that’s all I have for now. Thanks for reading :)

go hug a chicken

[meikuree]

daffodil, ivy, nutmeg!

daffodil ⇢ do you have siblings? if yes, in what ways do you think you’re similar to or different from them?

I'm the cooler sister... jk. the common line in my family is that I'm my dad but a girl, and my sister is my mum but whip-smart -- so she's ambitious, entrepreneurial, and social where I'm mellow, dependable, studious, and 性格开朗/温柔, based on what my mother says when she's feeling complimentary though I'm 90% sure that's another one of those family fictions parents spin up to propel and encourage their children. then the obvious point: I'm gay and my sister afaik has never identitifed as anything other than straight? !! also fairly sure she prefers m/m whereas I read/write almost entirely f/f, which is a handy division to make sure I never run into any secret fanfic she's written in the wild.

similarities: we're clumsy, bad with directions, and have close enough fashion tastes that I can borrow old clothes and makeup off her sometimes rofl. and my sister used to work as a model, which has probably bled into me being an occasional tryhard with dressing and presentation myself, #genderisaperformance.

the more fundamental bit I suppose is that we had a gifted child/black sheep dynamic as children that structured our identities -- I was considered the, uh, intellectually inferior child by teachers and adults around because my sister was accepted into a very selective and tbh eugenicist government programme for the best 1% of students in each cohort. we've bucked this trend now because by some metrics I've outperformed her academically, but neither of us care much about that and it's a relief really, as I think she'd also agree, to be defined by more worthwhile things as adults.

ivy ⇢ what are your ‘tells’ for your emotions and moods? how can someone tell you’re happy, annoyed, upset or tired?

ok, good question, I AM NOT SURE myself beyond the typical things like being visibly grumpy, not being as talkative, or becoming easily distracted and listless while tired. when I'm stressed/upset I need back rubs, to hold onto a pillow and start drinking lots of tea and forgoing meals

nutmeg ⇢ how’s your room/home decorated? do you have a specific theme or style going on?

not really :( renting atm which limits our decorating freedom, but I used to display some of my art on my walls including life drawing sketches and I have a bunch of art prints and cat illustrations displayed. I have internalised nerdphobia to borrow a good friend's phrase so I haven't made the leap to displaying merch or fannish trinkets

thank you for the questions!

(get to know me ask game)

[lovethelifeyoulive123]

Thank you, for being you. I needed to hear someone rational today, with all the toxicity on the internet. Considering turning off social media altogether and push pause on watching all football games for a time while certain individuals duke it out / hate on a person, in the worst possible way, contributing nothing to actual concrete improvements to society’s problems. The woso fandom is very divided at the best of times, and some of them can come across as fair weather supporters, at times. So it isn’t surprising the reaction is a mix of shock, disappointment, anger, resentment and jumping to conclusions. There will always be toxic elements when it comes to any kind of fandom.

No individual is perfect or immune to criticism, including Sam, people should let this run its course and await the outcome as you rightly said. Those who are so quick to condemn and throw the first stone, based on such little information, contribute to this societal problem where we do not stop to use critical thinking, and pick up pitchforks without a second thought. It’s easier to be the sheep and protect one self than to step back and take a pause.

We live in a society that is fast paced and quick to judge, and has very little room to make mistakes, and we don’t give much empathy or encouragement to do better. That’s probably the saddest part, because that’s the start of building hate and division.

Look, the only thing we can do right now is wait and see. I'm not saying that she did or didn't do something that was wrong. It's ridiculous to jump to conclusions based on such little proven information available. Everybody deserves to be innocent until proven guilty. Yes I'm a Sam Kerr fan but I would truly say this anybody.

And my friend you don't have to shut off SM, just take what you see with a grain of salt and try not to react to the trolls. They thrive in these situations and are in heaven right now unfortunately.

And yes the woso community is toxic even in the best of times. I would encourage you and others to come to your own conclusions based on fact not rumors and innuendo.

[driftwoodskeleton]

tagged again by @strangefable <3<3 thank you!!!

1. Are you named after anyone?

potentially after a great-great grandparent? i don't know whos or anything though:/

2. When was the last time you cried?

uhhh from sadness? like a week or more ago. but from pain from my stupid body, like earlier tonight

3. Do you have kids?

nope, and that will never change

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

yes, which is kinda funny considering i don't get when other people use it 9/10 times lol

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

im not sure, its not something ive thought about before. recently its been how ignorant or inattentive people are thought:/ GET OUT OF MY WAY OR ILL RUN U OVER OH MY GOD

6. What's your eye color?

blue:)

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

i like scary moives even tho they do scare me a lot sometimes lol, can i have a scary movie with an implied happy ending? bc i like when characters get to be happy at the end of something, but i don't really go in for just feelgood films? idk if that makes sense lol :')

8. Any special talents?

nah, not really

9. Where were you born?

Wales:)

10. What are your hobbies?

drawing, writing, scrapbooking, making stuff, clay stuff, general crafting, i used to make cosplay props and jewellery, gaming, and watching films and tv shows i guess.

11. Have you had any pets?

yeah, dogs, cats and fish, plus we adopted a horse once and a sheep that we used to go visit. so many cats. for someone who claims to not really like cats, mum sure has had a lot of them lmao

12. What sports do you play/have played?

used to do horse riding, was alright at it, netball, swimming, ballet, tap, drama, mime, street dance, maybe jazz? don't remember lol

13. How tall are you?

idk for sure, maybe 5'6''?

14. Favorite subject in school?

english and history, art sometimes, or social studies. hard to choose. definitly not maths though lmaoooo

15. Dream job?

palaeontologist. ever since i could comprehend what the job was, so about 2, if my family are to be believed. unfortunatly, its just not meant to be. maybe freelance artist? theres not much i could do anymore, dream or not.

tagging @toyapandora and anyone else who wants to do these:)

[ask-hunterxhunter]

Oh, holy Hunter x Hunter writer, I beg of you: I read your "royal guards as yandere" and I was so dissapointed when I was finished. I need more! Please with extra sugar, make one of those but with Meruem as a yandere. You are too good at this! Have a wonderful day and thank you for this perfection.

*Blushes* Oh, dearest friend! I am but a humble Hunter x Hunter fan! I’m honored that my writing brings you such joy! My special thanks for your support and care! (Seriously, thank you so much!!!). Now, Ladies and Gentlemen… I present you your nightmares for the next week: Yandere!Meruem.

  Meruem.

If we were making a list of “Worst Yanderes of the HxH Cast”, Meruem would easily be on the top 10, for several reasons and this is regardless of whether this happens before his character development or after. In all cases, you’re in serious trouble.

 There are actually many ways you can meet. Maybe you worked at the palace. Perhaps you have a friend/relative that Meruem “called” for a game. Maybe you were Komugi’s friend and insisted on coming along in order to help her (Translation: Wanting to make sure no one would take advantage of the fact that she’s blind). There are many options. Anyway, Meruem may decide you can stick around… You can be of some help running the palace. Your intention of helping your friend/relative might be interesting. As long as you don’t stay in the way, there is no harm in letting you stay with Komugi…

 Sadly, things don’t get better when Meruem starts to… Notice you a little more.

 Oh, it starts innocently enough. Maybe he catches you reading a certain book. Maybe he looks out and sees you tending the garden. Maybe he even hears you talking about games with the current player he has around… Not that your interactions, little as they might be at first, are exactly pleasant. At this moment, Meruem is very much a “king” and sees humans as nothing more than either annoyances or cattle and this is made clear whenever he speaks with you…  

 Now, regardless of your personality and temper, you wouldn’t be dumb to push his buttons after seeing how he kills without remorse, yes, but there are times when a polite and controlled answer can still surprise someone. And this could happen especially if you end up revealing a point of view that Meruem did not expect or that made no sense to him… Oh, even if he wanted to brush it off (the whole “does a lion concerns himself with the opinion of the sheep?” mentality), he would think about it from time to time… Remember that Meruem can be considered a curious creature: He liked to read and learn, so if you did things that he couldn’t understand, he would want to talk with you. Maybe he catches you doing a hobby and he starts to ask about it, maybe you comment something about the book he caught you reading…

 Those are not the happiest of interactions for you (again, remember how arrogant Meruem was and the fact that he wouldn’t hesitate to kill you), but because of them, Meruem starts to pay attention to you…

 You should have stayed as far away from this creature as you could.

 At first, Meruem rationalizes his feelings as if they were equations. He wishes for your presence? He’s used to it, he supposes. He enjoys watching you when you’re in the gardens? That’s one of the few times when you seem… Less tense. It gets boring when you’re always with your guard up. He enjoys your conversations? You might be an idiotic human being, no better than cattle, but there are times when you say something interesting… He… He enjoys seeing you smile? Well, he supposes it looks pleasant… And if he feels some affection for you… It’s no different from what a human must feel for a pet, right? Yes, he supposes you are sort of a pet for him, after all, you’re useless in the long run, but he still enjoys having you around.

 Now, just one thing… This whole “pet” thing is not in the usual demeaning and cruel sense. Meruem is not even human, for starters and he won’t force you to wear a collar or do tricks. But that doesn’t mean this is a good thing, either. He starts to realize his affection is deeper than he previously thought and his rationalizations no longer feel so certain.  

 Meruem wants you to be around more often (if you work in the castle, he doesn’t care, he can get others to do your work, anyway). He wants to talk with you. Once he starts to think about it, he is unsure of why. It’s like there’s something he wants from you, but he doesn’t understand it himself. And for reason… He wants to make you smile…

 Cute, uh? Beauty and Beast and all that?

 No. Not even close.

 It doesn’t take long for Meruem to understand that he simply wants you. All of you. Not as a pet, but as his mate. And since he’s the King, this means he can take whatever he wants. Besides, who could compete with him? After all, he has absolute power, he’s the epitome of all evolution! Sure, perhaps his mate should be more like him in the matters of strength, but in the end, he doesn’t care about that. Besides, if there is no one as powerful as him anyway, then what difference does it make? Hell, he doesn’t even care whether have Nen or not!

 Meruem may try some courting at first (if for no other reason than instinct. It’s not only mammals that have rituals to court/attract a mate), finding out about common human courtship rituals and attempting a few of them, such as having dinner together and giving you presents… And it’s disturbing because there is a new sort of intensity to Meruem’s behavior and the way he talks to you. His gifts. How he often tells you to sit next to him or to come closer. If you were ever bullied or hurt, Meruem can and will find out about it and bring the person over to kill them before you. In his mind, it’s his way of showing you how he won’t allow anyone to harm what’s his (and his way of disposing of said people would be pretty horrific).

 This courtship, however, wouldn’t last very long. First, Meruem doesn’t see much of the point (again, the king mentality at play), and second, he would soon realize this is not having the desired effect, so it’s better to make things clear. No matter. In the end, you’re already his. Maybe once you understand this, those “romantic” gestures will be better accepted.

 Whether you confront him about his behavior or not, Meruem will make things clear soon: He loves you. There is nothing more to it. Even if this is the last straw and you protest as much as possible, Meruem will just wrap his tail around your back, forcing you to come closer and say, in a low tone, that you’re his mate. Oh, he is being patient and letting you get used to the idea, but that doesn’t change the facts.

 Note that the way he, at some point, starts to caress you with his tail (stinger included) does nothing to soothe your worries. It’s not even that Meruem makes it clear that you have no say in the matter or how twisted his logic is when you try to argue, it’s something about how he does those things. The way he says he loves you and tries to soothe you when he notices your distress.  

 Meruem won’t toss you inside a cage, but he doesn’t need to. The palace is a cage. Even when you try to escape, Meruem (or his Guards) catches you easily and, at times, he treats your attempts as an amusing, cute game. He doesn’t need to chain you physically, the moment you start to rebel too much for his tastes, he will remind you that your family is out there and he can kill them whenever he wants… Or, when he’s particularly displeased, he may outright tell you that if you did escape, for each day that you were away, he would bring one (or more) human to the palace and kill them.

 It's pretty much a new version of Hell that you didn’t think could exist. Meruem doesn’t even have to take care or hide his most possessive traits, since neither of you ever leaves the palace (and besides, who would challenge Meruem and win?). Nothing you say or do seems to get to him and his answers are always twisting things around to suit his own worldview. It’s not even due to him not being human, it’s more because of his mind. Oh, he won’t be physically violent with you, but that means little when he has other methods in case your “misbehavior” starts to get on his nerves. He is doing his best to be patient, but you’re not helping. You say you feel caged? Humans take animals and place them in zoos or sea parks. They cage birds and expect them to sing, don’t they?

 You’ll adapt. Besides, he’s treating you far better than a caged animal.

 Meruem honestly doesn’t understand your rejections (he loves you, he can provide for you, he can make it so you will want for nothing… Why would you reject him?), but in the end, is of no importance to him. Humans had arranged marriages during a certain time. They didn’t love their partners at first but would fall in love after a while.

 He’s sure the same will happen once you get used to your new life and realize how better off you are. Right now, you just need a while to adapt, like a little animal that has been relocated… He doesn’t like it when you ask to be set free or when you’re so tired of everything that you end up crying, but that doesn’t mean he regrets his actions. Not a little bit. He simply embraces you then, whispering that he loves you. Even his attempts at “comforting” you feel more as if he was slicing you up. Again: It doesn’t help when he rationalizes the whole situation in a way that makes Illumi seem like a reasonable, understanding person.  

 But in the end, nothing matters for Meruem except keeping you with him.

  (A little note about the Guards. Pitou and Youpi would watch over you and perhaps even come to regard you as their Queen, but their loyalty would always belong to Meruem. As for Pouf, he would despise you at first, then accept you a little better as Meruem’s pet… Then, surprisingly, he would take you becoming Meruem’s mate a lot better than anything that had to do with Komugi. First off, Meruem isn’t exactly changing for the best here. Second, Meruem making things “official” by claiming you as his mate/queen has a certain psychological effect, let’s say. Pouf may still consider you unworthy and dislike you, but he sure as hell won’t ever try to harm you – except when he drags you back to the palace when you almost escape).

[harfanfare]

How to win a heart of Jamil Viper?

1.   Don’t be a typical hero(ine).

Contrary to the popular romance trope, tripping over the air to land on a certain cool-looking boy, and dropping all carried things, wouldn’t make Jamil fall for you. Instead, just falling because of you and sharply crashing with a floor would make him rather cautious around you and keeping a distance whether he has anything in his hands.

Believe him or not, he doesn’t need another ditsy and erratic person around him—like a certain leader from a certain dorm, who happens to create a mess anytime, anywhere.

So, let someone else be the protagonist of the story.

In that situation, you may be a side character that gets its way through obstacles and classic borders of story scheme and is much more interesting than the main persona.

That’s how you get his attention.

‎‎‎‎‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎

2.   Be a help.

Oh, a person that would help him with his chores means to him much more than gold. Sometimes.

“Can I help you anyhow?” you asked when Jamil was going to the kitchen after a daily training with the rest of the dorm. He lifted his eyebrow, waiting for further explanation. “I mean with cleaning or something.”

Jamil glanced at you, not sure about your intentions.

Who would like to do something to help without having something in return? With only your will? No, it doesn’t work well in the same sentence.

But some help would be great. So, he just needs to keep sure that he won’t fall into any trap for letting you help, yes?

“Sure,” he said casually, not letting his face nor voice reveal any of his thoughts he run into. “[Name], right? Could you bring and clean the dishes from longue?”

And you helped. You really helped him a lot, staying over two hours till everything was shimmering with cleanliness and your abrupt desire to clean something and be more useful, burned out.

“Thank you for your help,” Jamil said, after correcting the last cushion in the Scarabia’s longue. You flashed him a smile. “But why, if I can ask, did you offer it in the first place?”

He got a quick response in form of a shrug.

“I... don’t really know,” you admitted, glancing at him. “...But you don’t complain, no?”

‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎

3.   Be his dish taster.

“The way to a one's heart is through his stomach.”

“Try it,” Jamil handed you a spoon filled with some kind of stew. You consentaneously your opened mouth and drank all content of the spoon. Your mouth filled with many flavours and you couldn’t be sure if you ever ate that good combination in your life. “How was that?”

“Excellent as always.”

You said it all sincerely and maybe would have asked for seconds, if not the fact that Jamil already turned his back to you and got back to pots. He took another spoon and tried the dish himself, clicked his tongue and added more salt.

Once again, he turned to you and handed you a spoon.

“And how was that now?”

“Excellent as always,” you chuckled as he frowned at you.

“Don’t you think that you should add more words to your dictionary? You say the same thing on every dish,” once he said that you finished drying the last plate and preparing silverware for today’s fiesta.

“Don’t you think that I won’t be able to eat anything at the party when I will eat enough of your cooking now to write a poem about each of your culinary masterpieces?” Jamil chuckled slightly at your words.

“So, you don’t want any more?” he teased, but inside he was really flushed. Praises or cajolery, it all makes his heart skip a beat.

Finally, there was someone who appreciated all work he’s done.

‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎

4.   Distract Kalim from him.

“You really shouldn’t go there,” you said, your voice as serious as you could keep it. “I mean, what if there is a monster who wants to kidnap you?”

Kalim cocked his head a little, considering your words. After a while, he nodded, fully convinced by your argument.

“You’re right,” he said. “I will warn others about this..!”

Kalim turned on his heel and spotted some people returning from morning classes. He ran to them, greeting them and walking with them as he tried to introduce the situation.

Still not believing Kalim fall for your words, you were standing alone in the centre of the corridor, a bit dumbstruck to discover the excuse Jamil came up with work.

“...Are you sure, you don’t want to tell him that some student’s from other dorm are here?” you asked as if saying to yourself your thoughts aloud.

But there was someone, someone who was hiding behind a big potted palm. He only gave you thumbs up as a preventative measure if there was still a chance that Kalim didn’t just dash through the halls to talk with some dorm students.

Jamil only looked at you and mouthed “No. Party. Today.” and quietly shifted to the corner, where the wall hid him and he could finally get up.

Mission accomplished.

‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎

5.   Get rid of bugs for him.

“[Name],” Jamil called out to you, bursting through the door to your room. He looked very pale and panic was staying still in his eyes. “Would you be so kind to... deal with an intruder?”

You frowned a little before biting back a sigh. At first, you were concerned. Even Kalim getting in a serious mess didn’t make him react that seriously. But then you remembered that there was one thing that could make Jamil call you out of nowhere, acting like in an emergency. Emergency only in eyes of few.

Bugs.

Jamil never admitted to you that he is scared of them, but every time you brought up the topis, he snapped his fingers at it, saying that insects just aren’t his favourite kind of animal.

“Hmm~ Maybe after I finish this chapter,” you said, conspicuously turning a page of the book you were reading and with all your will trying not to smile nor to look at the wincing expression Jamil was wearing.

“[Name],” he said, his voice shaking with anger or frustration. “Go there right now or I will make sure you won’t get today’s dinner.”

...No dinner?

“Yes, mum,” you said putting the textbook aside and getting up from the comfortable couch.

Of all people, Jamil is probably the only one—well, maybe also Trey—that could make those words sound dangerous. Like, no dinner made by the best chef in Scarabia? It would be pure agony.

‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎

6.   Have competitions.

“Aren’t you a little too good in this game?” you asked, regretfully placing pieces of the game back to the initial places.

He gave you a smile that slowly turned into a smirk, as you groaned at the next round you have lost. You flopped on the big pillow, all your will to play destroyed, as you sank between really cosy material.

“I told you I won’t give you a head start,” Jamil said, his steady voice mixed with amusement. “You even told me that you don’t want me to go easy on you before the game started.”

“Too bad,” you clicked your tongue at his response. “I was sure that after watching you play with Kalim, I remembered your tactics.”

You’ve watched at least eight rounds of Jamil and Kalim playing this game, and when it was coming to end, you were almost sure you understood and remembered the technique he was using in certain situations.

But, to your disappointment, it looked like he – even without using any of his tricky cards in his sleeve – was a wolf in sheep’s clothing, because, after three moves, you knew that probably all three were wrong when the opponent was Jamil.

“You gained nothing by it. Of course, I lost to him or... there would be a trouble,” he exclaimed. “You are different.”

“Oh, thank you. I can lose but he can’t, huh?” you frowned at him as he almost choked on the surprise he felt by hearing your response.

“...Yeah, that’s it. Just it.”

‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎

7.   Have study sessions together.

“One class had a test before us,” you said scrolling through your class chat group. “They said that there wasn’t any question about these dates.”

Jamil scribbled down years of the most important magic wars, from time to time looking at you who were listing some test exercises and feeling somehow unmotivated to even properly open a history book.

Your notebook was lying in front of you, today’s lesson topic on the top of the page and many detailed doodles on its margin.

Once again... what was the unit you are having an exam about?

“It doesn’t mean, we won’t get a question about that,” Jamil tried to convince you, sliding textbook your way. “Now, read that aloud, while I prepare notes.”

You blinked twice as if woken up from daydreaming. Were you daydreaming?

“Are you sure..? I mean, all I will do is reading. Wouldn’t you rather want us to read it silently and then share our notes after this?”

“Don’t think about it much. I really like your voice,” he said it so thoughtlessly you weren’t sure if said it as an unarguable fact or just his smooth talker abilities were showing off, “and gave me your notes for the last exam so we’re even. And you won’t do any good notes when you’re sulking over this exam like that.”

‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎

8.   Remind him to take breaks.

“You won’t get out of here,” you exclaimed spreading your arms as shielding a door from him. “Not a chance.”

Jamil stood a feet next to you, grimace stretching on his lips as he knew what’s coming up.

“I have to go, [Name].”

He tried to get through you, lightly removing you of his way. He wasn’t a fan of using force on anyone, and he was a hater of using force on you.

Much more than a speakable argument, you were pushing each other closer or further from the door, having a staring contest and reciting all the things he had done in the past two days; except for his daily duties and with the upcoming birthday party of few students of Scarabia who happen to have a celebration in the same day, the number of tasks he was given was overwhelming.

“Stop it!” you protested, trying to push him back. “I am seriously worried about you! Please... take a break.”

Every time he was coming closer to the exit, you stepped back, blocking his way, bumping into him and having to try again.

“You know I have a lot of work to do,” he said, finally stepping back and giving you a break from trying to separate him from the door. “I can’t just give up all my duties, even if I would love a break.”

“I can do it for you,” you quickly offered. “But please, now, go to sleep and don’t you dare touch anything related to school or cleaning.”

...What a weird request.

When was the last time anyone told him to take a break?

He doesn’t remember.

But now, he can say it was recently, all thanks to you.

‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎

9.   Promise.

It was really hard for him once all his hard work to keep a high position within the dorm students suddenly dropped after his overblot accident.

“[Name]...”

However, the thing he regretted the most was hurting you. Taking the whole dorm under his unique magic spell, the hypnosis also affected you, making you another servant of his. Even you weren’t the one he ordered a lot, you felt betrayed that even the friendship you two developed didn’t stop him from overblotting.

And if he knew that you would avoid him like fire after the accident, he would probably hesitate a lot.

His throat tightened as he saw you one day in the corridor, looking somehow lonely and tired. He dashed to you, beseeching you to talk to him.

“Sorry for asking, but, Jamil, you don’t hate me, right?” you asked with a pain in your voice. You couldn’t even look at his face, feeling the incomprehensible weight in your gaze. “I mean... Do you only act in front of me friendly? ...Like... with Kalim..?”

“No, no, no,” he protested quickly, making it almost sound like a plea. He gently grabbed your hands, praying that you won’t harshly jerk them back because of him. “I don’t hate you. I really like you. I mean every word I said to you.”

The feeling of release struck you like thunder, you took a big breath, your eyes watering. You slowly reached for his touch, finally ending in a hug.

Jamil ran his fingers through your hair, smelling a familiar, reassuring scent of yours. After a while, he whispered a question.

“So... could you please not avoid me anymore? I know it will be hard to bring up the same relationship we had, but... could you give me a second chance?”

“Okay. But under one condition,” you said, slightly backing off from him. Before he could wonder about the term you would require from him, you finished your thought. “You must be honest with me. I... don’t know what will I do if it all turned to be a play...”

“I will,” he replied, putting his whole heart in these two words. “I will always be honest with you. And won’t ever use my unique magic on you.”

You looked up at him, a small smile starting to rise and heart-throbbing more wilder with his words. “Promise?”

“Promise.”

‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎

10.            Make him confess.

“What are you doing this weekend?”

Jamil appeared in front of you, almost like popping out of nowhere, as you were done with today’s lessons and slowly heading to your dorm. He caught up with you, changing his pace to match yours.

“I have no plans. I will be probably sleeping or something,” you answered honestly, shrugging and reminding yourself that you should finally hang out with some people from your class to make sure your social life isn’t all over dead.

You were walking in quietly before Jamil broke silence and spoke up again.

“Would you like to go somewhere?” he asked his voice only giving a hint of nervousness—it was nothing compared to the stress he felt inside. It was just a “yes or no” question, he knew that he will meet in future many amazing people like you and shouldn’t be stressed, but having someone so dear to him being asked for a meeting where he will try to finally out find his feeling... it is stressful.

“Hehe~ what, are you asking me on the date?” you teased, but much more than mocking, you were hoping for an answer. For the honest answer, he promised you.

“...And what if I am?” he asked, his voice a bit hushed, but steady.

You felt how heat was coming all the way up to your cheeks, although you tried your best not to let anything more, as if a blush wasn’t obvious enough, know how excited and spellbound you are.

“Then, your wish is my command.”

[inkdemonapologist]

in our cthulhu game, being fused with Bendy the Lurker (who, i cannot stress enough, is an eldritch horror in addition to being our cartoon friend) gives Joey some terrifying inky powers so honestly why WOULDNT you just immediately pounce on the first person who catches you somewhere you’re not supposed to be while distorting your body in mind-rending ways?????? 

anyway here’s some out of context quotes for Session Four under the cut

[Sammy is played by me, Joey is played by Boo (inkyvendingmachine), Henry is played by Maf (inkcryptid), Jack is played by Mochi (whatyouwantedmetosee) and Thren (haunted-hijinxer) is our GM!]

[Sammy] Are you planning to break in? [Joey] I wasn't not planning to.... not... break in.... [Jack] Jack might be giving Joey a look. [Joey] They broke in first! [Sammy] Sammy shrugs and nods, this makes sense.

[Henry] I want to say by now Henry has finally read the room and is also looking at Jack. [Joey] (Henry has realised it's Looking At Jack Time) [Jack] Now he's mute AND self-conscious!!

[Jack] He's going to write "I'll be fine," pause briefly, and then write, "probably."

[GM, as Bendy] Are you sure you want us to go alone? [Sammy] I'M sure I DON'T want him to be alone! [Joey] I won't-- I won't be alone! I can't be alone right now! We know this!! [Bendy] Uh-huh. [Henry] Mm-hm. [GM] A skeptical look is interjected.

[Sammy] But if we told you to go and take a look but not do anything stupid, I'm not sure you're capable of that!! [Joey] I'm-- wait. I can do non-stupid things!!

[Henry] While Joey is getting ready in his room, Henry has already stolen his plate and is finishing it.

[Sammy] I'm just laughing at the concept of Joey and Sammy being in separate parties but like, watching each other across the street, [Joey, interrupting]: in a NON gay way. [Sammy] Mostly not gay. [Joey] Definitely Not Gay [Jack] The MOST heterosexual, [Jack] That's his middle name! Joey Heterosexual Drew! [Sammy] That's what I remember from the book, yeah.

[GM] Roll lockpicking. [Joey] Uh, that was, a bad roll, so instead of pushing it, can I use one of my... points, and just unlock it with my finger? [GM] .....SURE, [Sammy] WHAT. WHAT!! WHAT IS HAPPENING. [GM] Henry should make a Spot(Hidden) roll! [Henry] oKAY??? [Sammy] PLEASE make this Henry, I need to know what's happening

[GM] It looks like a landing, and a staircase, going up! [Henry] Still no one around? No symbols? [GM] Nope! [Joey] Then let's go up! [Henry] ...didn't you say this building was one story, though? [GM] :) I did! [Henry] oh..... [Joey] OH,......

[GM] There IS a person puttering around in there. [Joey] Hmmm... I did say I wasn't going to do anything stupid.....

[Joey] *inspecting pen covered in weird goo* Can I smelllllll it? [GM] ,,,,YOU SURE CAN,

[GM] So you currently have this symbol-painter gaping up at you guys at the top of the stairs [Joey] UM, [Jack] He sees it. He is looking. [Joey] UHHH,, [Henry] No! He does not see it, he is looking away!!

[Joey] I feel like we should just,,, graB HIM, AND uH, i- th- uh, drag him up the roof, or pin him down--- I don't knOW, dEFERS TO BENDY! [GM] I mean, Bendy's instincts are definitely to pounce on something that is doing something he doesn't want!

[Henry] uh, I, uh, w- wELL HENRY, was planning to put his words together, and try to convince this man that, y'know, we're supposed to be here, like we're roof maintenance or something, but then JOEY just fUCKING JUMPED ON HIM! [GM] Down the stairs! [Henry] DOWN THE STAIRS! I think his first action in this fight is going to be "Joey, what the FUCK"

[GM, cheerfully] Joey also needs to make a Sanity Check, his body is distorting in horrifying ways! [Joey] (Joey made it!) [GM] Just one sanity damage each! No big deal. [Sammy] YEAH, no big deal!! Just part of your sanity, dripping away!!!!

[Sammy] This is NOT the jungles of Haiti, this is an establishment in New Orleans, please don't murder people! [Joey] He wasn't planning on murdering, he just wanted to make him shoosh! [Sammy] YOUR METHOD MATTERS!! [GM, speaking for Bendy] ...There might have been some miscommunication in the desired result,

[Jack] Joey's lowest skill is "stay out of trouble" and his highest skill is "get self out of the trouble you got yourself into”

[GM] The Lurker rolled a fumble, so he's super distracted with something... he is NOT paying attention. [Sammy] Super distracted with all of Joey's human emotions at, uh, murder, which is normally such a fun, wholesome activity!

[Sammy] Sanity check for the greatest horror of all: TAXES.

[GM] Weirdly, Henry thinks he recognises this from descriptions he's read in some of the books he's looked through of Joey's; he thinks this is a drink that lets you survive in the vacuum of space!! [Sammy] WHAT [Henry] Why the heck would they need that... [Henry] ......how big is this jug? [Sammy] (*laughing* "I wanna survive the vacuum of space! Lemme at it!") [GM] It's like a gallon? [Sammy] (glug glug glug!) [Henry] He's not going to DRINK it, he was just considering taking it! [Sammy] I've seen Henry go at bacon soup. I believe he can do it.

[Sammy] This isn't important and I PROMISE I'm not going to get distracted but I just want to know if there's any nice instruments in here,

[Sammy] He's not going to wait, he's just going to turn around and leave. [Jack] Jack will -- now that he can use his words! -- say, “thanks for the help anyway,” and then go follow Sammy.

[Sammy] Ugh, Sammy might take a drink, [Jack] Jack is very much not going to take any drinks. [Joey] (Jack takes the drink OUT of Sammy's hand and hands it to somebody else!) [Jack] ......he MIGHT do that,

[another player returns to the call] [Sammy] Welcome back! Sammy did not do a good job vaulting over a fence, in case you were wondering, which is why my HP is now listed here!

[GM] He makes like he's going to close the door again. [Joey] (Stick your foot in the door!) [Jack] HMMM, tries to think if I have any good words for being polite, [Jack] “hey, no, please don't shut the door haha your so sexy,”

[Sammy] Cool, Sammy will walk in. [Jack] Jack will thank him! And walk in.

[Jack] (i'M REALLY DISTRACTED BY THE CAT,) [Sammy] (I'M SORRY!! IT'S MEOW TIME!!!) [Sammy] (The cat needs us to know about the King in Yellow, it's VERY important) [GM] The rune expert's cat, clearly. [Jack] I think this guy needs a cat, in these trying times.

[Jack] Jack would definitely have been petting the cat, I'm just mentioning that.

[GM] He opens the door and gestures inside. [Sammy] O...kay, looks inside closet? [GM] "Go, go on, look, look!" [Jack] (LOOK IN THE CLOSET, I'VE GOT ALL THIS WINE!!)

[Sammy] I- I reaLLY THOUGHT,, THE OTHER GUYS WERE GONNA BE THE ONES WHO GOT IN TROUBLE,,,

[Joey] Is there a window? [Jack] IN THE CLOSET???

[GM] You definitely sense something in one of the shoeboxes. [Sammy] SAMMY'S TRYING VERY HARD TO IGNORE THINGS THAT HE SENSES RIGHT NOW

[Sammy] I've got Joey luck today, it's weird!?! [Jack] It's to protect Jack! [Jack] The shepherd must protect the sheep!!!

[Sammy] Yeah, let's git, let's skeedaddle, let's just run, [Jack] Channel our inner Wally Franks, [Sammy] and get outta here!!

[GM] Henry does have at least one person try to trade drinks and get some of the jug he's carrying. [Joey] *sulky* No!! Our special juice!

[Sammy] Joey and Lurker are the two children who should not sit next to each other, because they are a bad influence on each other

[Sammy] (Oh, P.S., Jack can talk now!) [GM] Oh, you're better! [Sammy] Sammy's feeling better too, but that might just be adrenaline.

[Joey] As long as the show isn't Alice In Wonderland or The King In Yellow! [GM] Do you say that? [Joey] [Sammy] NO [Sammy] That's out of character, I think, [Joey] UMMMM, [Sammy] Is, is it-- jOEY DREW, [Joey] ...........it is out of character.

[Joey] We're down here due to something to do with that symbol coming to bother us at the Studio! [GM] She wants to know if that's why your eyes are weird. [Joey] [Joey] Yes.

[couldyouspeakmyname]

oh right sorry! Then the shishigumi members with a small, male goat (or sheep you can decide) reader.

Sorry again!😅

Thank you for being patient! If I missed something let me know!

-Maeve

Ibuki

Initially really nervous about you being a much smaller, herbivore, partner

He’s very careful with you, and sort of handles you like glass

You’re going to have to sit down and talk with him about treating you like normal. Sure, he’s stronger, but you’re not going to break from a hug

Slouches a lot to meet your height, doesn’t like to tower over you

Only a few of the inner Shishigumi know about you, since Ibuki tends to be over protective

The Shishigumi don’t judge Ibuki about being in a relationship with another male, it’s not really their place to judge all things considered

Ibuki doesn’t tolerate homophobia, and while you weren’t around he has taken out animals who’ve gotten mouthy

Doesn’t do a lot of PDA in public because of of who he is, and his fear for your safety, but he loves snuggling you when you’re alone

You’re so much smaller than he is, that he kind of likes having you sit on his lap, or lay his head in yours

Big spoon

Keeps a picture of you in his desk drawer. 

Free

Doesn’t show it, but he’s nervous about you being a small herbivore. He’s twice your size and he just...doesn’t want to hurt you

Even so, it wont stop him from teasing you, throwing his arm around your shoulders, and just hanging around you and on you. 

Doesn’t tolerate homophobia, and it wouldn’t be out of his realm to beat the crap out of someone who looks at you two sideways (he’d kill them, but doesn’t want you to be there for that)

Grabs your horns if you wander off too far from him. Is it kind of rude? Yes. Does it keep you from getting lost in the crowd? Also yes. 

If you’re a fainting goat, expect him to spook you for the laughs

Free wasn’t a big fan of goat meat to begin with, so avoiding it is easy. He hopes you don’t mind that he eats meat. He can maybe cut back but, he’s done it for so long it’d be hard to stop. 

Very big on PDA. Whoever doesn’t like it can fight him, literally. Lots of cheek kisses, keeping his hands on you, and maybe grabbing your ass. You may have to tell him to cut back a little. 

Dolph

Any relationship with Dolph that’s an actual relationship means he is ALL in.

You being a male doesn’t bother him, but you being small and an herbivore concerns him. He worries about you in the Black Market, and makes sure you’re protected the best he can

He slouches around you, but nowhere as bad as Ibuki. He still likes being bigger than you

He wont stop eating meat around you, but he hopes you don’t mind it. It’s part of who he is at this point, and he wouldn’t trust himself around you if he stopped. 

He smokes cigars and cigarettes, but wont let you smoke any of them.

Likes putting his head on your lap so you can pet his mane

Only a handful of the Shishigumi know about you, and the ones that do watch out for you when Dolph isn’t around

Agata

Actually much more relaxed thanks to the fact you’re the same gender. He can really be who he is around you, and adores you for that

Loves snuggling with you, and holding your hand. He only does any PDA away from the Black Market...Agata isn’t worried about the judgement of the animals around him 

Agata doesn’t have much of a temper, but you bet your ass that if anyone gives you the side eye, or a snide comment, he’s ready to throw down. Luckily, his low growl is usually all it takes for others to back down.

Agata loves to play games in his spare time, if you’re a gamer, he’ll be really excited. If you’re not? Don’t worry! He can teach you

Always worries about you. You’re an herbivore and small, so he worries you’re going to get hurt

Miguel

Miguel doesn’t mind having an herbivore s/o. He just worries that the size difference means that you wont be able to keep up with him. If you can’t, he thinks of activities you both can do together. Miguel doesn’t mind slowing down for you, and wants to spend time with you. 

making you sit on his back while he does push ups

Miguel likes to cook for you, but doing an herbivore meal is difficult at first even so, he does his best. Once he learns a little more, and uses a few new cook books he picks up, he gets a lot better

Miguel likes that you're smaller, and hopes that you don’t mind that he likes to hold you, pick you up, have you sit on his lap...

Miguel Is a big lion, so there is virtually no one that tries to mess with you. If someone does it just takes a look and they back off. Miguel isn’t going to tolerate any negative attention sent your way

Sabu

No one knows you exist in the Black Market. Sabu is going to keep you safe if it kills him. Not even the rest of the Shishigumi know (though a few are very suspicious). He even keeps a second phone with just your number in it so you’re less at risk.

The most anyone knows is he’s been spending a lot of time away from home. 

Sabu doesn’t talk much, but he loves listening to you. You can talk for hours about anything and everything, and he’s just enjoying your voice. Make no mistake though, he’s actively listening and will remember what you tell him. 

Very worried his face will freak you out, when it doesn’t? Taking his face covering off is the first thing he does when you two are alone. 

Loves when you play with his mane. He may even let you style it if you ask nicely

Jinma

Jinma keeps his cards close to his chest when it comes to you. While a few of the inner lions know about you, most don’t. he would rather keep it that way and keep you safe. 

Jinma is initially really nervous that he’s going to hurt you, but his fears are easily put to rest  when he talks it out with you.

He uses his connections to make sure you’re safe, and he uses them to get ahead of any rumors, threats, ect.

Jinma loves picking your brain and learning about life as an herbivore. Not only does he get to learn more about you (one of his favorite animals) but he also gets an inside look at herbivores, which he doesn’t have a lot of resources to do otherwise (it’s not like Louis was ever willing to talk about it)

Likes doing board games with you.

Dope

Dope is nervous about having an herbivore s/o. You being male doesn’t bother him, but the idea he could easily kill you kind of freaks him out. While Dope is intelligent, and can easily read people, he’s young and terrified by the horror stories he’s heard

However, Dope is also great at communication. Whenever he starts getting nervous/stressed, he talks to you about it

Dope may not be as physically strong as many of the other lions, but that doesn’t mean he wont punish anyone who gives you a hard time. He just does it in...unconventional ways. He will make their lives miserable, and they’ll wish that he just would have mauled them instead

Dope actually really likes that you’re smaller than he is. It makes him feel strong.

Dope will want to talk to you about everything and anything. He loves communicating with you, and joking around. He actually has fun when he’s with you, and shows a lot of his less-than-serious side

Hino

He honestly doesn’t care about gender/species/ect as long as you’re down to nap and snuggle

Hino spends a lot of his time weaponizing his looks, and having a spouse that is far from his own species, and who doesn’t put pressure on him? Couldn’t be happier

Likes to tuck you under  his chin when you two snuggle or nap. He’s careful to avoid your horns. 

He has to ‘stay single’ around the market. It’s for his work. it doesn’t mean he wont spoil you though. He can, and will, take you to fancy places uptown away from the market. You’ll go to places that most animals couldn’t afford, but Hino has his ways. 

Hino refuses to make deals with animals who are homophobic. If they want to deal with the Shishigumi, they can either change the mindset, or go deal with someone else.

Hino will let you pick out his outfits for the day, and he likes to dress you up too. He likes the idea that he can brag that his outfit was picked out by his boyfriend. 

The inner circle know about you, and they have your back. You may be an herbivore, but you’re probably one of the safest animals in the market thanks to the connections Hino has given you. 

[still-a-morosexual-help]

OBEY ME! LESSON 54 DETAILED SUMMARY + THEORIES

There are 2 locked lessons and I really need to start unlocking things + I have all the hard lessons too…

Asmo’s gushing about whatever Beel did, saying it looked like Beel was enjoying himself too and maybe he discovered a new side to himself, Barbatos says that while most of it was probably solomon’s curse Asmo’s ability to charm people impressed him and I really don’t want to know. Barbatos says though many demons can charm others no one’s on Asmo’s level. Asmo tells him not to feed his praise kink but is sad that his charm never works on MC. MC wonders why they’re immune and Asmo says that’s what he wants to know. Barbatos suggests they break for tea. Barbatos goes off to make tea and Asmo suggests they take a peak at his grimoire while he’s gone. MC shuts it down. Asmo says MC doesn’t know what Barbatos is capable of – that none of them do. Lower rank demons shudder at his name and there are rumours that his powers can rival the Demon King’s but for some reason he’s just Diavolo’s butler. & when it first happened the news of it had shook the devildom but no one other than Diavolo knows why it happened (considering Asmo and them weren’t even in the devildom when Barbatos became Diavolo’s butler it really must have had a big impact for even them to find out about it.) He says the answer to that legendary mystery might be in the book so… MC shuts him down. Asmo sulks.

After tea they go to Levi’s room, Asmo tries to remember the secret phrase and MC completes it for him but obviously they don’t get a response so they just break in and end up in a green valley. They immediately all back out to the hallway where Asmo freaks out about the savanna now attached to their house. They open the door again and nope still a savanna and realise this is probably a game. Levi laughs and says they make it sound like he always does that….bro. Levi says this actually a program from crowe tht displays whatever scenery you want & he was actually trying to have a solo photoshoot while he still was a giraffe before they interrupted. Asmo despairs being related to Levi and Levi ignores him, saying that since MC’s a sheep they wouldn’t fit the savanna anyway and asks crowe to close the program. He then drags MC into the bathtub and starts telling them poses while he takes pictures and MC’s a fucking idiot so they go along with it. Asmo’s disappointed in life that Levi’s just having a cosplay photoshoot and Barbatos says hey you know Levi’s pretty distracted rn and MC gets the hint and moves in closer to Levi in what is implied to be a very seductive way, Levi starts stuttering and covering his face and MC gets closer. Asmo says with the most blank expression ever, “Wow… I can’t believe I’m watching a sheep making a move on a giraffe in a bathtub.” Ah yes the twilight zone says Barbatos. MC then yanks Levi’s tail out, he immediately wants to take a picture of the triumphant look on MC’s face. Asmo says, “ugh, gross…”

They’re out by the pool and Asmo’s giggling about all the photos he has of his brothers completing the orders and they would trend on devilgram and increase his followers. MC agrees but ultimately tells Asmo not to upload them, he complains but leaves to moisturise after he realises the air outside is really dry. Barbatos says they won’t be out long but Asmo says this right now is a life or death situation as he runs back in. Barbatos says there’s no reasoning with Asmo and the two of them are left in awkward silence until MC either asks more about Solomon (he tells them he has nothing more to add and to ask Solomon) or starts talking about the weather (he asks if they feel awkward around him and they don’t need to feel uneasy and they don’t need to struggle to find a topic). Not one to be deterred MC asks him what he thinks of 1.)Diavolo – Diavolo’s the reason for his current existence and he devotes himself to serving Diavolo 2.)The brothers – he says that as long as you’re just watching them they’re enjoyable but if they involve you in their BS it becomes troublesome and that he wishes they didn’t include Diavolo in their shenanigans so often (as if Diavolo isn’t the one who readily jumps into said shenanigans or isn’t the one who causes them in the first place) Barbatos actually acknowledges this too and says Diavolo liking being involved gives him headaches 3.)The angels – he has no strong opinions about them though he does approve of Luke’s love for baking & that he finds it charming that he does it to pls his superior. He then asks MC how they feel about the brothers. They say the brothers are their family and that they love them all to death, he says that makes sense cause you’d go crazy if you tried to live with them and love wasn’t there to act as a buffer. He also notes that MC must trust them implicitly. He asks about the angels and again MC says they’re dear friends who they love, he says it’s understandable that MC would find them likeable considering how different they are from other angels (the implications of this lol). MC asks if Barbatos is gonna ask how they feel about him. He says outside of Diavolo he doesn’t give a shit what people think about him but since they’re on the topic sure he’ll indulge, MC says they consider him a friend and he says “thank you?” or that they like him and he says he’s honoured. I like that Barbatos genuinely does not give a shit about MC, it’s refreshing.

So the I like you is a confession not a casual platonic remark damn. And if you choose that the next lesson starts with him asking but ‘why me lol we barely know each other’ and MC can say they’re attracted to his looks, personality or devotion to Diavolo and it’s at this point I noped out and went back and chose the friend option. After the friend option it starts with Asmo coming back sobbing and asking for help with a sleeping Belphie being dragged along. Belphie had been sleep-walking and “those dumb-dumbs” had said Asmo was a pillow and Belphie had started chasing after Asmo and eventually caught up to him and now Asmo can’t make him let go. Barbatos says he doesn’t really understand what’ happening but he’s impressed that Belphie’s still asleep while being dragged across the floor and Asmo is mad at him for being impressed. Asmo tells them to hurry up and get his tail and order him back to bed and MC remorselessly pulls it off, which still doesn’t wake him.

Back inside, Barbatos complains about being the one stuck carrying Belphie and Asmo says they have no choice since Belphie won’t wake up and as a butler Barbatos should be used to carrying people, Barbatos says he has no idea what Asmo’s talking about and that as older brother shouldn’t he have more practice carrying people. Asmo says ew no cause he like his arms slim and he doesn’t want them to get too much exercise and become muscular. Barbatos sighs. The other 4 catch up with them, demanding Asmo give them his DDD so that they could delete the pics, Asmo starts running around while they try to catch him and Barbatos who has had his fill of all this shit for the day asks MC to make the brothers all stop, MC tries to play dumb but Barbatos smiles at them and says they know exactly what he means and he’s at his limit so try and fucking test him so they command the brothers to stay. Barbatos finds joy in the brothers’ suffering. Mammon and Satan are both smiley over getting to watch them try and catch Lucifer, Levi brings up how he escaped them the first time though they were able to catch Satan and Satan, while blushing, says he let himself be caught to help MC out. According to Levi’s reaction to this Satan’s being repeating that to everyone. Since Lucifer will be extra cautious this time around MC asks satan if he has any strategies to take him down. Satan’s delighted he gets to pull out his “Ideas For Utterly Destroying Lucifer So He Finally Learns His Lesson notebook” which is thick enough to be a lunch box according to Beel (and considering what Beel’s lunchbox probably looks like…) Asmo shuts Satan down cause 1.) they’re not going to actually kill Lucifer 2.) if they did he’d still find a way to get back at them and fuck them up even more. MC then turns to the only normal person here: Barbatos. The brothers realise Barbatos probably see a side of Lucifer they never do and ask him what Lucifer’s like when alone with Diavolo – he’s quite cheerful and really seems to enjoy himself. Asmo goes “Cheerful!?”, Satan says Barbatos must have confused him with another demon and Mammon says Lucifer’s default expression with his is a big, angry frown. Barbatos says maybe they have themselves to blame for that. Asmo laughs and says Lucifer has a soft spot for Diavolo and then brings up his similar soft spot for MC (the implications…) and that gives Asmo an idea – to have MC “act all sexy and seduce him” like they did with Levi. “Fucking excuse me!? What happened with Levi!?” asks Satan while Mammon tries to get Levi to spill all the details and why he got to mess around with MC when Mammon didn’t. Levi starts stuttering and denying it but Mammon says he’s shaking so hard it must be true when all Mammon got was being hung from the ceiling. Barbatos agrees that Asmo’s plan would be their best chance and he too compares Lucifer’s soft spot for Diavolo to his soft spot for MC (THE IMPLICATIONS!!!)

They search the entire manor and end up outside Lucifer’s room, Barbatos asks MC if they’re ready to go seduce a demon and they say, “fuck yeah!” and I mean to be fair they’ve been unconsciously seducing demons from day 1 so… Asmo and Barbatos will be outside watching through a crack in the door. MC knocks and goes in when Lucifer answers. Lucifer says he’s surprised to see them come walking into the wolf’s den on their own and he calls them a brave little sheep (fucking cheesy ass bastard I love him). MC gets the option to either sit on his lap or to pull him by the front of his shirt an make him sit on their lap and it’s the second option that actually works and makes Lucifer blush (and I think I’ve said this before but despite all the sadistic Dom vibes Lucifer gives out he gets incredibly flustered whenever MC takes charge. This man gives out the serious vibe of someone just begging to dominated and/or topped, and I mean after having to be in control of everything for his very long life it makes sense that he’d want someone he trusts to temporarily take the control from him). Barbatos and Asmo are whispering commentary from the corner. Barbatos says that Lucifer obviously can’t resist being proactively pursued while Asmo says he looks super happy on MC’s lap. Lucifer says, ”So you think you can do whatever you like to me, do you? …All right. What are you gonna do next MC? Go on…” Asmo moans about being really jealous. Barbatos asks who exactly he’s jealous of. Asmo says both obviously! Lucifer asks MC what they’re gonna hit him with next and honestly he really is begging for it isn’t he? Lucifer desperately wants to be fucked and MC just wants his tail…  They can either beg him for the tail or demand it from him. He laughs if they beg saying they look like a sad abandoned puppy and smiles at their audacity if they demand it, either way though in the end he tears his own tail off and hands it to MC cause he can’t find it in him to refuse them. Asmo barges in with a camera cheering and ready to take a pic of Lucifer following an order but Lucifer asks Barbatos to take “the little voyeur” away, Barbatos agrees but says Lucifer now owes him one. Asmo screams, complains and cries the whole way out. Lucifer then looks at MC and asks what they desire from him.

MC comes back to their room to find the other 2. Asmo immediately bombardes them with questions asking what they made Lucifer do and if they took pictures. MC can just say it was a lot of fun or that it’s a secret or that he should ask Lucifer. Asmo’s upset at first and then says “WAIT WAIT did y’all fuck!?” (or rather he asks if they did things they can’t even tell him about. This and that he says.) He gets excited about it and Barbatos congratulates MC on collecting tails from all of their opponents. He says there are more important things to focus on than whatever Lucifer & MC did (Asmo takes offense to this) like the fact that Solomon will arrive soon and says they should have tea while they wait. Asmo asks if something feels not right about a game being a test for sorcerers and MC agrees that it’s strange. Asmo says getting everyone’s tails was too easy and that there should be more to it for example like… for example like if we double crossed you, says Barbatos and then he pulls MC’s tail off. And like I mean Solomon did say that MC had to be the last one standing before he gave them Barbatos and Asmo… but still damn that’s fucking cold…

In their room Solomon laughs his ass off about how MC hadn’t suspected them till Barbatos actually bulled their tail off and Barbatos says MC’s willingness to put all their faith in a person is both their greatest virtue and their greatest weakness and it made their job very easy. Asmo giggles about how he even managed to take a picture of the shock on MC’s face. I like to imagine MC’s just lying flat, face down on the ground stewing in misery. MC raises their head from the floor to demand how they could lie to them like that. Solomon bursts out laughing (and MC thumps back onto the floor) and asks them to hear him out before they get mad. He says the game wasn’t the exam and it was instead to see whether MC could resist the temptation to open Barbatos’s grimoire despite knowing how powerful it was. Asmo says they were even able to resist his attempts to sway them. Solomon says there are very few sorcerers and that they keep their existence secret from the public and they need people who they can trust to not reveal that secret no matter how great the temptation to do so is. Barbatos says the grimoire they had is fake and there would have been consequences if they’d opened it. Solomon says they passed the test and that they’re an amazing person who deserves their fifth star – chastity. Asmo congratulates them and MC either thanks them, says they’re really happy rn or says they’ll continue to work hard. Solomon says he’s as happy as if he was the one who passed the exam, he then asks Asmo if he can take a look at all the photos he took, Barbatos says Solomon looks way too happy and Asmo says that though Solomon said he was just testing MC, getting these pics might have been one of his goals too. Solomon laughs and says maybe. And that’s it. I actually really liked this whole arc and how he gave more backstory for Barbatos, Solomon, Asmo and even Diavolo while still keeping Barbatos and Solomon’s pasts secretive and it’s got me frothing at the mouth for more. I also like how they established the relationship dynamics between Barbatos and Solomon and Barbatos and Asmo. I really wanna see more interactions between Solomon and MC too…

[yuraimi-lee-bunny]

Gray’s Character Analysis Part II. Empathy vs Ambition

Hello! Sorry if it took me a while to show the next part of my Gray’s analysis, but this part was a bit difficult for me especially in what order I should give it. You'll see what I mean as soon as you read. This part is going to be a little longer than the previous one and will explain some issues not only about Gray, but also about Carmen and VILE in general.

Thank you very much for the support of the previous analysis and I hope you like this too! Here we go!

As we already know, Gray is an orphan. And yes, it’s important to understand certain behaviors and ways of thinking about him. First, I want to explain a small detail of Black Sheep/Carmen so that Gray's decisions are understood in greater depth once he’s in VILE and his ease of trying to go far (and even the position of almost all VILE agents would also be understood usually)

Why does Carmen think and feel different compared to all VILE and especially Gray?

Simple: Empathy.

Now, it doesn't mean that Carmen is the only one who has empathy and others don't. Rather, Carmen's level of empathy is greater, deeper and broader. What caused it? Living in VILE was the first.

Yes, surprisingly it was that, VILE created her own "enemy" since they decided to give her a home on the former Island of VILE when she was a pretty baby. From the first episode, Carmen relates how stealing was a game for her and VILE Faculty was like her family in some way, especially Coach Brunt because her relationship was "mother/daughter." The other members of the faculty treated her well, they taught her the culture of thier countries and around the world, they gave her food and clothing, a large home, basic education and also living with many VILE students. But Black Sheep only knew the "basics" about VILE, because she lived with the belief that they only taught to steal all over the world, just a "the game of cat and mouse" but it didn't harm anyone, or so she believed.

Another very important factor helped Black Sheep's empathy to expand: Player. That's right, our little favorite hacker was very influential on her. First, because he was the first person she met, empathized and talked about her life outside of VILE. Black Sheep always wanted to know the world outside the island, and Player was his first contact outside the world, and a white hat hacker, his abilities used for good. Black Sheep never saw that as something bad or like a "enemy". On the contrary, he was her friend and appreciated him very much.

Last important factor: The archaeologist's words:

Black Sheep, the one who didn’t know anything about her roots, about her family, thought about how she wouldn’t like someone or an entire country and it’s people to live the same as her: not to know a part of her life. These factors caused that Black Sheep's empathy was different from that of VILE and her agents.

The other agents, although we don’t know their lives completely, the fact that we know that they’re orphans is enough to give us a glimpse that their lives haven’t been easy. The reasons why one can be orphaned are many, which can lead to sad experiences, hard, full of pain, others not of course, but being an orphan is to carry a great mark on your life. And in the end one must survive and get what he needs by his own hands if you are alone. But maybe have a brother, have a life partner, in these cases a brother/sister, can change everything, because you no longer feel alone in life, and you can create a bond of empathy, like Zach and Ivy. Or maybe not, like Shadowsan and his brother.

Sorry if it seems that I'm moving away from Gray, but I need you to understand how the VILE agents don't have a great connection and their empathy is lower because they don't know (or perhaps they do and not having good consequences) about their roots. To experience rejection more than once and for years. Of not having had a "family" or person to help them connect with the world and thereby seek and understand other people. Perhaps most of them had to survive alone. Or they got together with people of bad influences as seen with Shadowsan. They didn't have or lived the points that I mentioned about Carmen, or maybe they did, and even so they wanted to steal for mere enjoyment and get money easily. Everything is possible.

The fact that the faculty recruits students over 16 (it seems that it's from the age of 20 or is an approximate) is a great plan because it's 20 years of a habit of only trusting you, seeing for you and stealing for you, there comes a point where you live it with more enjoyment/play than just "surviving". A "vocational school" will provide you with a home, food, appreciate you for your stealing skills, without being without any communication, living for a year on an island, with people who have in common being an orphan and stealing, feeding your enjoyment of theft , that the faculty helps you find and develop skills to achieve a successful robbery, continuing to see it as a game and now see it in a professional way, which will make you survive forever, generates the idea that “it's okay to do it ”And you do it together like a family.

Graham and Black Sheep understood each other very easily and enjoyed spending time together most of the time. Antonio, Jean Paul and Sheena also considered them his friends, but not as close as Black Sheep. They communicated just by looking at each other, they understood each other easily, and they covered their backs. How to forget when as long as they didn't expel Black Sheep, Graham lied to the Faculty. He reassured her as long as he trusted that he would pass the exam and graduate from her. He felt very bad to realized that they wouldn’t graduate together. Gray somehow began to develop an empathy for Black Sheep. In the book he mentions to Black Sheep in detention: 

“I know they say there is no loyalty between thieves, but we’re in this together right? I have always taken care of you”

Which shows that he appreciated her a lot, but being on the island and under their ideals, made him think that everything was to be in a “family”, everything was loyalty, he didn't realize it could be more than loyalty, but appreciation, the beginning of great empathy. He really knew her very well, her goals, her desire to be the best thief and always improve herself. He knew Black Sheep, but not the factors that would make her Carmen Sandiego.

The next thing I will say is more of a theory/assumption, not a fact: As I mentioned in the previous analysis, Gray is someone who wants to be successful, he's always going to prove it to himself and will give everything to achieve it. Being an orphan, perhaps he has affected him in some way, that at some point in his life he decided to just see for himself and show that he can be successful and that nothing would stop him. He's ambitious. But when he met Black Sheep, his empathy grew more, however, a “struggle” began within him between his ambition and his love for Black Sheep, a person outside his life, but who has lived with her so much that your appreciation is big. A fight, of which, throughout the whole series, Gray will never be aware, but with acts it is always demonstrated.

There is a sentence from him in the second episode that I always found very curious:

This is cute and talks about how much he appreciates Black Sheep to mention her well-being first.

"Criminal Career" Do you realize how much Crackle has thought about it? He doesn't see being in VILE as a game or something. He sees it as a "Career". Something tells me that if it were up to him, he would have set his sights on a position at the faculty. That he would be willing to do anything to achieve it.

At least as far as I'm concerned, Crackle wasn't going to kill the archaeologist because he's evil, or because he doesn't have absolute empathy, it's because he always tests himself to achieve his goals, for him, to start with his criminal career, was to abide by ALL the rules of VILE. He somehow affirms it:

Did he want to be successful? Did he want to have a great criminal career? He had to do EVERYTHING.

BUT!

His empathy reminder was there

and was still there

This, this expression says it all (This expression was the one that convinced me that Crackle wasn’t bad at all and from then on no one moved me from that belief). Deep down, Crackle wasn't so convinced of going that far either. Something in him, the empathy in him spoke and made him feel that such acts were too much for him. Carmen's words reached him. Deep down, he felt she was right. But what could he do? Although he listened to all of Carmen's story, even his ambition and all that year in VILE resonated more with him. Because he hasn’t lived experiences of strong empathy as Carmen already lived.

His goals are very big, he commits himself to them at any cost. But there is also still a place for her in his heart. Unfortunately, we don’t know in detail (or rather nothing) of how he reacted when Black Sheep managed to escape from VILE. But when he and Carmen Sandiego meet on the train, he asks so many questions because he doesn't understand what led her to do all this. As I said before: he didn’t know the factors that I mentioned at the beginning, and there was no time for them to talk about it. He no longer recognizes her, he only has his memories of Black Sheep and of course he misses her, but he doesn't understand that she is no longer Black Sheep, she is Carmen Sandiego:

He told her that because he believed that she was still thinking like Black Sheep, but no more.

I always liked this scene because it shows how Carmen is in the light and Gray is in the dark.

I can only say that he didn’t want to do it, he only did on VILE's orders, because of his ambition that he was almost going too far. But deep down he didn't want to, if only there was a proof… oh, yes there is, but this is not the time to move on to it ;D

In the end and as we know, Carmen defeats Crackle and she uses him to distract Devineaux. This is caught by the police, VILE saves him, and he "regrets" not having caught Carmen (he’s relieved that he had not killed her rather. Crackle NEVER wanted to.)

BUT

VILE can accept failures, but not be trapped by the Law.

So Crackle, since you've lived so many years for your goals and ambitions, let's see what happens to live as little as 18 months with just pure empathy.

It would be all with this part! Geez, I feel that I wrote a lot but it was necessary to tell all this! Believe me that doing this is making me better connect my ideas and understand better to Gray. I hope it’s also helping you, you like it and it makes you reflect. I want to know what they think and if they have any other points of view. I love talking about analysis with more people. The next part for sure will be shorter, but still very important, it’s the safest that if they have it in two days. Greetings!

Part. I Introdution

Part. II Empathy vs Ambition (HERE)

Part. III Amnesia and it’s Future Consequences

Part. III.5 Graham Calloway: The Walking Enigma

Part. IV Integrity At a high (and unfair) price

Part. V The final decision and a new beginning

Plus 1. Gray and his strange habit of explaining things

Plus 2. Crossover: Sabrina And Gray: New Beginning

Plus 3. Crossover: Hawk/Eli and Crackle/Gray: Redemption

[scapegrace74-blog]

Ginger Snap, Chapter 4

A/N  Here’s the next chapter installment of Ginger Snap.  I now have this story mentally plotted to its conclusion.  It will have a total of 6 chapters, with perhaps a wee epilogue.  In keeping with the theme, the title of this chapter is “Where There’s Smoke”.

Previous chapters are best enjoyed on my AO3 page, because I have a bad habit of going back and editing them after they’ve been posted.

I glanced around the sitting room, trying to see it through a stranger’s eyes.  Well, not a stranger.  Through Jamie’s eyes.

We had sold most of our furniture before leaving Boston, not considering it worth the expense of shipping across the Atlantic.  Frank hired an interior decorating firm to furnish the third floor Southside flat before we arrived.  The overall impression was stylish, if a bit soulless.  Having grown up a virtual nomad, there were no mementos or heirlooms to speak for my personal journey.  For the first time, I regretted their absence.

The buzzer rang, and I shook away my wistfulness.  Jamie’s tousled curls and reckless grin greeted me as I opened the door.  Today he wore a fitted navy jumper, faded grey jeans with frays about the ankles and the ubiquitous work boots.  A messenger bag was slung across his broad chest.  

“I hope I wasn’t supposed to supply the ingredients for today’s lesson, because my cupboards are bare,” I remarked after inviting him in.

“Jus’ as well.  I wouldna squander yer food.  I have all we need right here.”  Reaching into his bag, he removed a clear container filled with chunks of pink meat swimming in a broth of blood.  I wrinkled my nose in disgust.

“What sort of dish will I be making with those?”

Those summer eyes shone in merry provocation.

“No’ a dish, Arsonist.  An experiment.”  

Two saucepans were set on the stove.  Jamie had me place a few pieces of meat into the water of one pot before it warmed.  To the other I added a pinch of salt and a clove of garlic, but waited until it came to a boil before adding the chicken.  After five minutes, I used tongs to move the now-pale flesh to waiting salad plates.  Neither looked particularly appetizing, but the first pot yielded a glutinous blob.

“I suppose this is the control group,” I remarked, looking at Jamie where he leaned against my countertop, ankles crossed like a cover model.  “I’m already quite familiar with what culinary failure looks like, thank you.”

“No’ failure.  Variability,” my teacher argued.  “See here?  If ye want meat tae dissolve til it doesna hold its texture, low heat is key.  An’ if ye want tae infuse it with flavour, always combine heat an’ seasoning at the same time.”

I took a small nibble of chicken from the second pot, and sure enough it tasted mildly of garlic.  It was otherwise quite bland, though.  When I commented on this, Jamie nodded in excitement.

“Aye, verra good.  Nature seeks equilibrium, as ye well know.  Sae now ye have poultry tha’ tastes o’ water and water tha’ tastes o’ chicken.  If ye were makin’ a stew or chicken stock, t’would be a good thing.  Fer anything else, tis shite.”

I laughed, getting into the spirit of his well-executed game.

“Have ye any music?” he asked while we cleared away the results of round one.  “I always cook better with a bit o’ background noise.”

There was a high-end stereo system in the living room, but I doubted Jamie would be interested in Frank’s collection of Brahms, Mahler and Celtic harp.  Seeing my hesitation, Jamie dug out a portable speaker from his bag.

“Do ye mind?”  I shook my head and soon my kitchen hummed with guitar chords and plangent vocals.

The lesson lasted far longer than the scheduled hour.  Jamie had me bake, fry, roast and braise different samples, each time explaining why a particular technique might be used and insisting I taste the result.  It was so much fun, I shed my habitual reticence while cooking.

“An’ now fer the pièce de résistance,” Jamie announced in dramatic tones.  From his seemingly bottomless messenger bag he removed what appeared to be a miniature flame thrower.

“What the fuck is that?” I asked, forgetting myself.

“I wanted ye tae ken there’s a place fer fire in the kitchen, Arsonist.  Tis only a question of picking yer moment.”

With a flick of his lighter, he set the butane alight and handed me the small kitchen torch.  Using extreme caution, I seared the outside of the two remaining morsels until they were a rich caramel colour.  Jamie then wrapped them in foil, placing them in the oven to finish cooking.  When they were cool enough to sample, the outside was pleasingly crunchy and sweet, while the inside swam in moist chicken-y flavour.  We both declared them the winner.

“Tis a funny thing about fire,” Jamie remarked as he packed up his bag to leave by the more conventional front door route.  “It can remain hidden beneath the surface, burying its secrets deep inside.  Doesna mean it doesn’t burn, though.”

I thought about what he’d said long after he was gone, leaving me alone with his signature scent of rising bread and salt air.

That weekend, I blamed the poor weather when I declined Frank’s offer to shop for an engagement ring.

***

The next week, instead of asking to be buzzed inside, Jamie requested that I join him downstairs.

Grabbing a Mackintosh, my purse and slipping into comfortable walking shoes, I joined Jamie outside my door.  He was particularly animated, despite the foul weather.

“We should ha’ started wi’ this lesson, but t’wasn’t the right day fer it,” he explained as we walked towards the farmers’ market that took place twice a week in the shadow of Castle Hill.

I considered protesting that I already knew how to shop for food, but Jamie’s enthusiasm was contagious.

We stopped at every stall, sampling the foodstuff on display, which was surprisingly varied despite it being November.  Jamie knew most of the merchants by name and our progress was regularly halted by conversations on topics as varied as his family’s health, the latest rugby results and Scottish politics.  I envied his wide circle of acquaintance and apparent ease interacting with them.  There was no pretense, no stiffness, just a man who inhabited every square centimetre of his life to the fullest.

Jamie insisted that I taste various produce before adding it to the cloth bag he’d provided.  Honey-crisp apples.  Peppery radishes.  Herb-infused venison sausage.  

“Close yer eyes,” he instructed when I was practically dizzy with all the flavours.  Still, I complied immediately.  A rubbery moisture tickled my lips.  “Open,” he said simply.  I opened.  “Tell me what ye taste, Arsonist.”

I chewed the morsel of cheese thoughtfully, letting the taste and texture coat my mouth before finally swallowing.

“Creamy.  Thick.  Salty.  Sorrel.”

I opened my eyes only to fall into the inky vortex of Jamie’s pupils, which had expanded to almost eclipse his irises.  His hand still hovered near my mouth, muscles frozen in abstraction.  The cheesemonger let out an awkward little cough.  Jamie blinked, and the moment vanished.

“Sorrel?” he asked a bit gruffly.

“Yer lass has a fine palate, Fraser.  My sheep graze in fields full o’ it.”

I allowed myself a smug little smile.  Neither of us corrected the merchant’s presumptive pronoun.

Later that evening, I sat cross-legged before the fire with a picnic for one.  Frank had called from his office earlier to say he was working on notes for an upcoming symposium.  Before me lay the results of the afternoon’s market adventure.  Closing my eyes as I ate,  every mouthful set my senses ablaze.

We never found time to visit the jeweler that weekend either.

***

The next week, I fell ill with a miserable head cold.   Frank was in Oxford for his symposium, so I called Ginger Snap myself and explained to Jenny in a hoarse voice that Jamie should avoid coming to my flat at all costs.

I was curled up in a mentholated daze when there was a series of knocks.  It took several minutes to free myself from my blanket cocoon and shuffle to the front door.  Glancing in the entryway mirror, my hair called to mind an electrified poodle and my nose was twelve shades of raw, but I opened the door anyway.  No-one was there.  Leaning out to peer down the hallway, I practically tripped over a brown paper bag resting at my feet.

Inside was a metal thermos, still quite warm to the touch.  As I unscrewed the cap, my stuffed nose was assailed by fragrant steam.  Homemade cock-a-leekie soup.  I felt a glow fill my chest that had nothing to do with my fever.  Pouring a helping into a mug, I shuffled back to my couch-nest.  I felt better already.

***

The following week, Jamie was distracted.  I’d thanked him profusely for the soup, and asked if he could show me how to make it for myself.  As the chicken thighs and stock began to warm, however, I caught him glancing regularly at his phone, fingers drumming against his thigh.

“Are you expecting an important text?” I finally asked.

“Hmm?  Och, Arsonist, I’m verra sorry.  Tis only that we got a last-minute request tae cater a big corporate Christmas party, an’ Jenny is beside herself wi’ worrying.”  He tucked him phone into the pocket of his cargo pants.

“When’s the party?”

“T’morrow,” he confessed.

“What!  Jamie, what are you doing here?  You should have called me to reschedule.”

“T’wouldna be fair, what wi’ us missing last week on account of yer sniffles.  An’ wi’ Christmas ‘round the corner, I didna ken when I’d... er, when we’d have time for another lesson.”

I turned off the burner with a decisive twist.  Jamie opened his mouth to lodge a protest, but I beat him to the punch.

“Jamie, the soup will keep.  Growing your business is more important. I wish there was something more I could do to help, but under the circumstances...”

“Come wi’ me?” he blurted out.

I was nodding before the words finished leaving his mouth.  Notwithstanding the fact that he had just literally been teaching me how to boil water, I didn’t want to lose his company so soon.   We likely wouldn’t see one another again until after the New Year.

It was a thirty minute walk to Leith.  Jamie could probably have covered the distance in half that with his long strides, were it not for me trotting along beside him.  We stopped at several shops along the way to pick up provisions, arriving at Ginger Snap with our arms laden with the freshest food Edinburgh had to offer.

I had expected Jenny and Jamie to be working alone, but the fire station was abuzz with activity.  I was hastily introduced to Angus, a distant Fraser cousin; Mary, a childhood friend of Jenny’s; and Murtagh, Jamie and Jenny’s godfather.  They worked together like a well-oiled machine, and I stood awkwardly to one side, wondering what the hell I was doing there.  I was preparing to make my excuses when Jamie called me over to a spare station.  He gestured to the commercial-sized sink, which was full of vegetables of every dimension and colour.

“Claire, I need ye tae rinse and then cut these inta nice even pieces.  Can ye do tha’ fer me?”

"Consider it done, chef,” I said with a jaunty salute.

There was a feeling of camaraderie as we each went about our assigned tasks.  I chopped.  Mary baked.  Angus filleted.  Jamie cooked, and Jenny plated the various canapés, salads and sauces and stored them in the enormous refrigerators that lined the back wall.    Murtagh’s role seemed mostly to keep the troops in line with an assortment of verbal barbs. 

Music played in the background.  Volleys of witty banter flowed between us, but never at the expense of the work or anyone’s feelings.  Angus nicked himself with his filleting knife, and Jenny sent him to my station for treatment, saying I was the team’s resident doctor.  I couldn’t remember the last time I’d felt so at home.

Time passed quickly and before I knew it, it was dark outside.  The bulk of the work was done and the pace slackened, the pressure of the looming deadline relieved.  One by one we cleared our stations, meeting at the small seating area to share a well-earned drink.

Jenny sunk into the couch beside me and let out a loud sigh.

“Ouf, I canna believe we got it all done.  Claire, ye were a godsend.  Normally I do most o’ the prep work, but it leaves me no time tae arrange the dishes.”

I demurred, uncomfortable with the praise.

“Nay, Arsonist, ye were amazing,” Jamie began to object, but he was interrupted by my phone buzzing.  Glancing down, I felt my face fall.   I’d completely forgotten about Frank.  Now he was texting, asking me where I was.  I quickly fired off a reply, then stuffed the phone into my pocket.

“Everything alright?” Jenny asked.

“Oh, yes.  It’s only my fiancé, asking when I might be home,” I answered, still distracted by my uncharacteristic lapse.  As I glanced up, I ran straight into Jamie’s iceberg gaze.

“I didna realize ye were engaged,” he looked pointedly at my bare ring finger.  “Congratulations.”  

He said the word as though every syllable pained him.  I quelled the urge to explain, to say it wasn’t a real engagement because I’d never agreed, that I’d only been looking for a sense of security, but somehow found myself in a cage.

Instead I hastily finished my drink, called myself an Uber and quietly wished everyone a good night, all while avoiding the many questions written across Jamie’s expressive face.