#but Nina u might cry and scream

[boxwinebaddie]

i regret to inform y'all that during the divorce from hell i think ravenstan wrote a song called f(o)r(ver) and it was bRUUUTAL

[goldengoddess]

hey can you please write a holiday crow fic !! love ur work <3

new years with the crows!

authors note: hi this sort of got away from me so i couldn’t include any of the ACTUAL holidays but fuck it let’s make it new years themed! and happy late holidays to all of u mwah mwah

as kaz loves to point out, new years doesn't really mean anything.

he says it's simply a day, just like any other. except that everyone spends the week after new years trying to reinvent themselves. going to the gym. spending less time watching netflix. baking more.

but eventually, these resolutions fall short, like always.

but kaz is the downer of the group and he doesn't know what he's talking about.

you, jesper, and nina on the other hand, see the beauty of new years day.

after all the traditional holidays are over, the phrase new year new me gets uttered at least ten thousand times a day

the three of you force the rest of the crows to make a giant deal out of the thirty first

nina spends the entire day in the kichen, recruiting wylan as her faithful helper of the day

she wears the chefs hat and everything

she even wears a cute little apron matthias gave her for christmas that says "kiss the cook"

matthias uses this as an excuse to come into the kitchen every ten minutes

you and wylan find it very cute and tease her for it everytime

she makes every dish that you can think of

sweet, salty, all of the dishes you and the crows used to have every new years with your families

the process usually makes you cry out of nostaligia but luckily nina and wylan are quick to console you

jesper spends the whole day being as unhelpful as possible

but you know it wouldn't be half as fun if he weren't around

he distracts wylan, adds too much flour to the cookies, proceeds to eat all of the cookie dough despite nina warning him not to at least twenty times

eventually, nina gives you and inej the task of keeping him busy so he doesn't cause even more trouble

the three of you go around the slat asking people to write out their new years resolution so that you can make a fun board out of it

hours later (it took longer because jesper kept being distracting) you all sit in the living room pasting new years resolutions on the board

everyone has them written down

minus kaz of course

but as the three of you are hard at work, a certain dirtyhands walks down the stairs, paper in hand

without saying anything, he takes a seat next to inej and hands her the paper

the grin on inej's face almost makes one apear on kaz's as well

you suspect his change in attitude about new years is thanks to her

at ten on the dot, everyone is sat at the long table

there is food everywhere

and i mean everywhere

nina, as always, totally out did herself

and notably there are a lot more waffles than one would expect at a new years dinner

the entire night is spent laughing, eating, and sharing

as midnight approaches, matthias suggests that everyone share their favorite memory of the year

the thing they're most proud of

you all go around in a circle

kaz sharing his favorite heist

matthias saying that his favorite memory was that one morning nina created fake snow in the backyard just for him

nina smiling and saying that hers was the night of her birthday were everyone attempted to make her waffles

wylan and jesper both having the same fondest memory

the time jesper tried to teach wylan to shoot a gun

"i almost lost my finger but it was the best afternoon ever" wylan confesses

and then finally, it's your turn

looking around the room you know that this day was without a doubt your favorite moment of the year

and when you say so you get a unanimous chorus of "aw's" from everyone at the table

nearing midnight, everyone counts down from ten

screaming at the top of their lungs, "happy new year!" so loud that everyone in ketterdam probably heard yall

you all toasts with the cheap champagne that jesper might have stolen from the store down the street

and it's the best night of the entire year

have a great 2022 everyone <3

taglist;

@vintagebitc @obiwansjedi @thegirlwiththeimpala @hybrid-in-progress @mrs-brekker15 @mrsbrekkers @simplyluvzuko @ode-to-joy @gallysonegoodlung @sixofshadowandbone @castielcouldbeasecretdentist @amourslover @caaarstairs @the-jess-life @xsamsharons @heavenlymidnights @tinyfwoggie @the-abyss-gazed-back @subjecta13-thefangirl @ughgclden @brekker-andhiswraith @ilovemarvelanne1 @lostinketterdam @anything-forourmoony  @treasureofmy-heart

[saintobio]

this chapter threw me in for a whirlwind. i don't know what to expect for the finale. i have so many thoughts to spill but i'll spare you first to say that that shit was so well written?

first, it's nice to see that there's a gradual change in sera. i've been wanting to drag her hair thru my screen just to SCREAM at her face that she has her family. it's sad that she had to hit her lowest to come to this, but i'm glad she's realized it. what isn't so nice is to see how there are just some things that have become part of who she is (her elitist view, and her tendency to resort to violence. like i caught that with the bodyguards!)

next, i really love miwa. truly. like it's true that no one else truly got to see the amount of work gojo put to change for the better. not the general public, and not even their families; but since she works so closely with him, she saw it all 😭 her scene almost made me cry? i hope she takes the break gojo's been wanting for her because she deserves it. her loyalty is everything.

also gojo got his sovieshu moment huh 😭 really did come back to bite him in the ass. a lot of it is deserved, but as a reader it still hurts to see that his efforts were for nothing because he really was genuine in the end. the /news/ still has my mind reeling. and the parts saying that gojo couldn't rest well without her :( got to me.

i get that gen and pops are trying to protect us, and their actions are justified. but i can't imagine how gojo might be feeling? like they're the only ones left that treated him like family when his mom left and his dad was a pos. i don't think i could ever face them again if i were gojo, so to have the guts to stick around? props to him.

on another note... nina best girl 😭 imagine reader goes to italy to hit up toji's girl LMAO but aside from healing, i hope this also means she focuses on building her fashion career 👀 she has the clout to make a name for herself right now, since people would undoubtedly support her after the scandal. if she ever got interviewed about gojo, i imagine y/n would only have good things to say about him still because she was just as down bad for him as he was for her 😭

also manifesting preemie baby 😭 is it too late

yes, yes, and yes 😭 you really summed up the chapter well. thank u sm for sending ur thoughts. i always love hearing them n ur time in writing all this is very much appreciated <33

also imagine if yn does get interviewed abt gojo hhhh my girl would just have war flashbacks 😫

[killersnarl]

i know this might be a lot to ask but can i cosplay ur version of Nina if i give u credit😳😳

// i will literally Scream and Cry /pos

feel free to !!!!! i’d love 2 see it omg, i know u guys have only seen glimpses of her so if u need a ref for anything lmk ❤️❤️

[whereconfusionisarhyme]

First Reactions To Logan’s Playlist

K first song let’s do this

White and Nerdy-Weird Al Yankovic

Wtf this song was definitely Joan’s idea I mean who else would think of ‘White and Nerdy’ for Logan

Is this like canon he listens to this stuff or like songs about him???

Not Perfect-Tim Minchin

TIM MINCHIN

Bo Burnham better be on Logan's playlist

#deep

Is this about the mindpalace/inside of Thomas’ head??? Cause like???? Ouch???? I think????

Lol nvm it’s not sad lmao

I take back my take back it is sad

So this could be literally “in his mind” or it could be figurative and it’s really messing with my funky flow

Streaks-ANIMA!

Cool instrumental

Love the voice sounds a little like MARINA and Regina Spektor

Oh no I’m two lines in and I can tell it’s gonna be sad

OH NO CONFORMITY RELATED ANGST AHHHHH

Wow Logan is just out here being relatable isn’t he smh 😔👊

"Cause you're a smart kid, but you're still a kid" LOGAN REALLY BE OUT HERE BEING RELATABLE ON MAIN

The Elements-Tom Lehrer

Sounds like what piano class would sound like if I took piano class

Something you would listen to in science class

Bop

Medicine-STRFCKR

A Fever You Can't Sweat Out vibes

Lmao nvm

Gonna go look up the lyrics rn brb

A sad bop

Philosophy cool

Human-Tank And The Bangas

Logan playing this to comfort himself because this singer is the only person who has ever told him this

WHO HURT LOGAN WITH THEIR WORDS

LOGAN THE HEART SKIPPING COMMENT ARE YOU OKAY IM GIVING YOU A HUG

GUYS LOGAN IS TRYING TO CONVINCE HIMSELF THAT HE MATTERS IM NOT OKAY

Last???? Relationship???

Okay I'm not a shipper BUT my theorist analysis obsessed brain is just SCREAMING about Roman and Patton

Observation: Logan is probably atheistic and this song covers God a lot. I don't have a conclusion or anything just pointing that out

This woman do be calming tho like yes I'm beautiful yes I'm special thank you

Okay so I already knew Logan wasn't okay but he 100% isn't okay

Fittet Happier-Radiohead

K two words in and I can tell this is gonna be sad here we go

Employees? Or maybe…other sides?

Minor key ok

SELF HARM ISNT OKAY

"WILL NOT CRY IN PUBLIC" NONONONO

So I heard of a good therapist just downtown-

The Watchtower-The Dø

I paused it cause I need a second after the last one

Guys as someone who dissosiates a lot I think Logan might be dissosiating

Dissosiating to protect himself from his emotions

Y'all just trust me in this one

Coming for the TØP brand I see

K ready to start again here we go

Fire beat I'm vibing with it

Is he trying to distance himself from his emotions to try and perform his tasks better like watching from a Watchtower???

This is the first character I've seen that might dissosiate which only means one thing

I'm gonna be projecting an unholy amount in my fanfiction

"No one in particular" hon who hurt you

City Lights=Emotions (which he considers distractions)??? Maybe??

I'm a William Finn fan come on this isn't my first rodeo

Art Is Dead-Bo Burnham

BO BURNHAM I WAS RIGHT

We all love some good Imposter Syndrome (tm)! :D

This gives Learning New Things About Ourselves' a whole new meaning

Ngl this is the first time I heard the degrading of the piano at the end and I'm here for it

In My Mind-Amanda Palmer

Oop we LOVE setting up impossible expectations for yourself to the point you have a cripplingly horrid self esteem! :D

Logan I've done this before and trust me it isn't worth it the mental breakdowns are too taxing

I'll do it when I'm older=I'm never gonna get around to it

I don't wanna be the person I wanna be either

Why do I perfectly understand every lyric am I ok

Live!!! While you!!!! Can!!!!

At least there's a happy ending

Okay so I've decided that once I'm done I'm gonna make a list of songs I think would fit in the playlist

Algorythym-Childish Gambino

K its spelled incorrectly get ready for some metaphors my dudes

Intro is cool definitely very very Logan WOAH OKAY CHAIN SMOKER

Gonna go look up lyrics I don't understand shit

The chorus sounds like Thanksgiving at my Aunt's house where like 100+ African American relatives blast house music and dance until their feet falls off

Nvm no it doesn't

GO OFF

ELPHABA BETTER WATCH OUT CHILDISH GAMBINO IS COMING FOR YOUR BELT

Adlibs are everything

Letter C-Zach Sherwin

This gives off the same vibes as that one pickle video by Charlie Puth

Roman vs Logan rap battle but it's this

I don't really see why this is related but sure

Time Adventure-The Marcus Hedgehog

Nostalgiaaaaaa

Okay Logan has too many songs talking about one (1) person who is it

I have a gut feeling that it's about Thomas and how Logan used to be enough "back then" but now he thinks he's not cause like let's be honest when was the last time someone gave Logan a strong sincere thank you for all that he does????Excluding DWIT (which doesn't really count in my opinion cause they said he was cool, not like an integral and arguably the most important and powerful side) nobody really appreciates Logan???? Hugs???

Anyway plz ignore this is just how my brain works

K next song

The Breach-clipping.

OKAY SLOW DOWN IM GONNA LOOK UP LYRICS

Is this Daveed Diggs???? I haven't listened to Hamilton in like forever is this Daveed Diggs???

LITERALLY PERFECY PARRALLEL TO LOGAN AND THE SIDES

Sound effects

Really just gonna fry my eardrums like that huh

What I Do For U-Ra Ra Riot

Okay scrap anything and everything I said about it being the sides Logan is 100% talking about Character!Thomas

Erase Me-Ben Folds Five

Ooh this intro reminds me of this one particular musical songs but I don't remember which one

Wait have I listened to this before????

I've listened to this before!

Okay I need to stop being distracted

NOOOOOO don't Erase Yourself!!!!

Logan really just do be having no Self Esteem don't he

Okay so theory: Logan didn't pop up in person in the last video because his eyes were too red from crying

I have 0 evidence so it's not a very good theory but…

Just throwing it out there

One More Time with Feeling-Regina Spektor

Oh no it's Regina Spektor

Oh no I'm gonna cry

Okay so Logan doesnt wanna block of all emotion, only permit some to show???? But most of the time block everything????

Did I get that???

Nobody!!!! Thanks!!!! Logan!!!!

Awww he just wants love and recognition

Tbh this sounds a lot like Roman they have so much in common despite their constant arguing

Galaxy Song-Monty Python

Ooh Monty Python

I haven't listened to Monty Python so I sadly don't know the context

Really just dissing all of the other sides aren't we

Can't really blame him tho

Very scientific

"Yeau~"

Sweet with dark undertones. Love it.

Equation-Hans Zimmer

Later I'm gonna check the equations if they're correct XD

Sunrise-In The Heights

!!!!!!

WHO???!!!!!

K to this is one of my favorite love songs ever it's just so sweet and as someone who's bilingual the concept is just amazingly wonderful so yeah I may be freaking out

Also because WHO??!!

Okay I said I wasn't a shipper but let's be honest this is probably about Roman not romantically but like

OR MAYBE JANUS???

IM SO CONFUSED

But Logan is definitely Nina in this situation it just fits so well with her character for the same reasons I really wanna play her (but never will cause I'm exactly 0% Latin American smh) yeah the pressures to be the smartest and then it backfiring horribly and oh God what if Inùtil is also in the playlist ahhhh

Okay moving on

Lifeboat-Heathers

WHAT

NO

NO

CONFORMITY RELATED ANGST LOGAN STOP BEING RELATABLE AHHHH

IS THIS CAPTAIN THOMAS??? THE OTHER SIDES AS A WHOLE??? AN ABSTRACT CONCEPT???

IM NOT OKAY

Bohemian Groove-Will Connolly

Okay I'm still not recovered from the last song but I need to continue or else I'm never gonna finish this playlist

Eeecccchhhhhoooo

Your friends haven't surpassed you Logan you belong with them okay????

Emptiness despite success??? Millennial who???

Vibing with it but also are you okay

Nvm I know the answer already

Hug All Ur Friends-Cavetown

Okay so Logan is a Cavetown gay noted

Self validation??? Who's she???

Lies. You care so much about what other people *sides* think about you

Maybe Logan listens to this song to remind himself to not care too much

But it doesn't work and it's getting to him more and more

Oh

That took a turn

Breathin'-Thomas Sanders

Good move

Don't really have much to say on this

The Bidding

Spoopy

Alchoholic!Logan

New idea for us fan writers

The pronunciation of beurgoise

Okay I'm like pretty certain at this point that all of the songs that mention a someone else is about Character!Thomas

A Better Version

OHMYGOD I LOVE THIS MUSICAL ITS SO UNDERRATED I HAVE LISTENED TO THE SOUNDTRACK AND UNGODLY AMOUNT OF TIMES YESSSSS

But also since I know the song in terrified cause the feels are gonna come in I just know it

Wait so is Jayce supposed to be Thomas???

I am suddenly feeling much more uncertain about my certainty

Okay let me unpause and just listen to it (even though I already know all of the lyrics)

Okay so I'm a dumbass and apparently this song isn't even part of the playlist

Okay so I'm an idiot and the last few songs have all been "related to playlist" and not in the actual playlist I'm big dumb.

Anyway here's my list of songs I think would fit. (BTW, I only went off of lyrics for these ones. I realize that there’s a general sound and vibe for the playlist, but I decided not to follow it.)

Oh No! ~ MARINA

Hug All Ur Friends ~ Cavetown

Bohemian Groove ~ Will Connolly

Guiltless ~ Dodie Clark

Lifeboat ~ Laurens O’Keefe

The Bidding ~ *idk who*

I Am Not A Robot ~ MARINA

Inútil - Lin Manuel Miranda

Through The Eyes Of A Child ~ AURORA

Community Gardens ~ The Scary Jokes

Let me know if I should do this with the other playlists as well! :)

[d9saphire]

Space out

I truly believe tumblr might be the best place to scream. 

Insta, FB and Whatsapp status- so many people, so many perception

I am just truly believe that i am hurt. I do not know how to translate my feeling. It is the first time i felt this way. I wish it never happen because i hate the feeling of being so complicated. I am complicated and i always makes things worst. Maybe i really font deserve any. Those people, they are good and i am always felt that i am never one. Perhaps, that is y. That is y i never have one. 

My sister said, never said if. Because Allah has certainly blessed me with the wonderful feelings. So i should felt grateful. I will grow. I should and definitely will move on. When this happen, i always think, that is why i jumpe you tube saying about what happen to the single person. Something that struck me, Allah will see you as person, and count your solah and ibadah. focus on that. dont be sad if you never had the chance to be someones’ wife. 

felt like crying. dulu, bila i rasa i should shed any feeling, i akan ckp nina, u only have 10 minutes, cry and let it go.

Now maybe i have to do it again. 

--------------------

before that, let keep the record here. As it maybe the last time i was bless with the feeling, Alhamdulillah. 

Early March- my heart was touch by someone

30 March. i break my own heart and maybe break him as well.

31 March- embrace my own ‘stupid act’

1 April.-stress but missing him

suffering and now

15 April- misery

I try to reconnect for few days. Hello, i never had someone and i know i am being bitter by being so complicated. As i felt i want what my heart want, but i believe, i am the only one who work on it, he maybe hurt and hate me already. most of the time, i was ignored. But its okay. I will never get what I want in this life. 

So, Assalammualaikum, Let it go. ameen. 

Maybe. Wait. Its no longer maybe. I shall end this now. Bismillah. 

See you when i see you. It will be a different book after this, coz i am not a good friend. i never will be coz i certainly not wife material for anyone. 

8.50pm 15 April 2020

MCO, Covid 2019, PKP

[artificialqueens]

we’ll get there [pt. 1] (plastique/brooke) - scheherazade

A/N: yeet, it’s my first time posting and it’s a fic challenge ! i decided to go with these:

rare pair: plastique/brooke

tropes: 1) reuniting after a long time apart and 2) besties who’re secretly inlove with each other and neither knows

bonus: lesbian au

Summary: Brooke and Vanjie break up and Brooke is thrust into the aftermath where there are broken friendships & inner turmoil to be found. She gets by with a little help from an old friend.

How dare she?

“I deserve better,”

Better than what?

“Better than what you can give me.”

Brooke slammed open the door of her and Nina’s dorm room, the customized rainbow number plate they hung dangerously swinging from the impact. She threw her bag in a random direction and face-planted on her bed. She buried her face in the covers to muffle her scream.

“Oh no mama, I know that look. C'mon Brooke, understand me here. We just ain’t workin’ out.”

How can she decide that?

Brooke heard a familiar laughter from around the corner. The sound got louder and louder and Brooke groaned.

“Brooke?” Her face was still buried in the covers but she knew that it was her roommate. “I—we didn’t know you were here.”

She remembered when Nina didn’t sound so surprised to see her. Back when she didn’t practically live in her girlfriend’s (ex’s) pocket.

“Yeah. We thought you’d be with your girlfriend.”

The laugh Brooke heard earlier was definitely Yvie’s. Fuck. She didn’t know if she could handle their…issues above everything else. She hoped that Yvie would notice her mood and drop any attitude that she would probably give. Not that it wasn’t deserved.

“Girlfriend? Not anymore.” Brooke intended for her reply to be biting. She wanted it to reflect the anger she felt at that moment but at the last word, her voice broke. Her cheeks burned in humiliation.

The bed dipped beside her and she felt a hand on her shoulder. Warm. “Will you be okay?”

Brooke really doesn’t know. She voiced that thought to Nina.

“Do you need anything?”

It was shameful the way she immediately blurted out her ex’s name. Someone scoffed and even without seeing, Brooke knew that it was Yvie. She probably rolled her eyes too and crossed her arms, the combination she did when she found something particularly ridiculous and dumb. Brooke was familiar with it once.

Nina tutted and Brooke heard a placating “Okay fine,” from Yvie (who probably also threw up her arms, if Brooke remembered) before she heard the door shut.

“Sorry about her.” Nina apologized.

Brooke didn’t reply. Her mind was too busy going into overdrive about everything that was wrong in her life. Between the unexpected break-up and everything else, she just wanted to chug her ballet teacher’s Russian vodka and hope that her problems solved themselves.

“Nina?”

“Yeah?”

“I think I want a hug.”

“C'mere baby,”

Brooke shuffled around until she was in her roommate's—and best friend’s, if Nina still considered her that—arms. She curled inwards in an attempt to make herself smaller. She snuffled and was embarrassed to realize that she had started crying. Brooke tried to regulate her breathing and bit her lip to stop it from wobbling and setting off a wave of tears.

It didn’t matter because when Nina tightened her hug and started stroking her hair, she was undone. Her walls let down, just for this moment.

“N—Are you angry at me too? Like Yvie?” If she was going to cry, she might as well cry about everything wrong; might as well bite the bullet.

“No. But I am disappointed. And sad. Mostly sad.”

Nina didn’t explain and Brooke didn’t question her further, too afraid of the conversation escalating and losing the only comfort she had for the day.

•

“You’re late Ms. Hytes.”

Brooke almost fell to her knees apologizing, true to the Canadian way. She had woken up this morning to a covered plate of pancakes with a sticky note beside it. Nina wrote using a pink glittery pen and questionable handwriting. She must’ve rushed.

made pancakes for u. there’s maple syrup on the counter the brand u likeee sry didn’t wake u up u look like u need rest. take it easy brooke :) Nina <3

It was sweet and really warmed her heart but one glance at the clock made it freeze. She ate the pancakes quickly (but not before drizzling them in syrup) and dropped the dishes in the sink and reminded herself to wash it later. Afterwards, she ran and repeatedly apologized as she hit a lot of people on the way.

“I’m so sorry Ms. Visage, I woke up late today and I swear it won’t happen again.”

“Just get over there,” she motioned to the seats and Brooke complied, murmuring another apology.

She ignored Vanjie who sat between Silky and A'keria and the lack of empty seat somewhere between the three that was usually reserved for Brooke. She opted to sit between Gia and Jujubee who seemed to be discussing something with Raven. She settled in her seat and turned to Gia.

“Hey did I miss anything?”

“Absolutely, we just paired up for the project.”

“What project? Who am I left to pair up with?” Brooke’s eyes widened.

“Funny Ms. Hytes, that’s what I was just about to discuss.” Ms. Visage replied and raised a brow.

There was a smattering of laughter and Brooke bowed her head and winced.

“And to answer your question: everyone is paired up,” Brooke dreaded doing a potentially hard project alone. “But there will be a new student coming tomorrow so you can do the project with her.”

The class burst into chatter and questions when their professor announced a new student. Brooke could pick out some of the most popular comments.

“What’s her name?”

“Where is she from?”

“Why is she transferring now?”

“I hope she’s hot,”

Brooke wanted to ask a question herself except she noticed that Ms. Visage’s face got stonier by the minute.

“Silence!” she called out and like magic, it worked. “You’ll meet her when you meet her. Now can I discuss the project? Yes? Good.”

••

Brooke stressed out over the project until lunch. Then at lunch, she stressed out where to sit because obviously, she wasn’t welcome at her ex’s table anymore. She sighed and held on stupidly to her lunch tray and dragged her feet to find an empty table.

Brooke thought about the project their professor gave them. They were supposed to put together a 30-minute presentation about two countries wherein country A has influenced country B (through trade, colonization, etc.) enough so that it has been integrated into B’s culture in present time. They were supposed to include how it became so and an answer to what if the cause didn’t happen. What would change?

She decided that she needed to get a high–if not the highest– grade. She was going to and that’s final. Brooke knew that she was a competitive person. She needed a win badly and it’ll be something that’s sure to lift her spirits.

Her view regarding the project was starting to lighten up. It provided a very important perk which was distraction. The project gave her something to focus on, to work towards—a goal. And she’d rather do that than wallow in feelings.

Just as soon as she started feeling better because of the project, she remembered that her partner was going to be a stranger. That one factor could potentially change everything. Brooke Lynn clicked her tongue and snapped at herself mentally. She was not going to ruin this by overthinking. Whoever her partner was going to be, she was going to make sure they were on board with her goals.

“Brooke!” She was snapped out of her thoughts when she heard her name called. An enthusiastic arm was waving at her and it belonged to Nina. “Come sit with us!”

Brooke approached hesitantly at her table. “Are you sure?” she asked, glancing at Yvie.

Yvie rolled her eyes at her. “This is so dumb. Just sit down girl.” She said and scooted over near Scarlet by her left to make space.

Brooke’s lips quirked. How long has it been since? “Okay,” She sat down.

Nina grasped at the arm of the person closest to her, who just happened to be Shuga, and looked at them like they just made her dreams come true. It was sickeningly sweet. And totally undeserved, Brooke thought, they haven’t really reconciled yet.

Yvie noticed Nina too and she laughed. “Ew stop that. You only look at your girlfriend like that. It’s weird on us,”

Nina leaned on Shuga and proved Yvie correct. “She deserves it. Anyway, this is a special occasion.”

“Yes!” Shuga clapped like the cinnamon roll that she was. “Welcome back Miss Brooke Lynn!”

“Yeah, how was ignoring us for 5 months?”

Brooke flinched. She considered not replying but her tongue slipped. The urge to fall back to the usual banter between her and Yvie overtook.

“Honestly? Awful. How did I ever survive lunch without Nina and Shuga being sickeningly sweet? Not in front of my salad!”

“If being sweet is like this then I’m diabetic.” Yvie retorted.

Nina threw them an unimpressed look. “Brooke I think you can go back.” She made a shoo-ing motion which made Brooke feign a scoff while the others laughed.

“Anyway, uh, what’s up? Catch me up on the stuff I missed.” Brooke segued, kind of awkwardly.

“Ms. Del Rio is a flaming bitch.” Scarlet spoke up and her Physics book on the table. Brooke was surprised to hear the hostility in Scarlet’s tone, and aimed at a professor nonetheless.

“Say it again for the people in the back!” someone from across the cafeteria shouted.

…

So. Insulting your sharp-tongued Physics teacher wasn’t the best idea. Scarlet and a couple other students who jumped in on the protest against the teacher—who apparently is a “demon sent from hell on wooden legs"— now served two hours of detention after school. For the rest of the week.

Brooke Lynn felt sorry for them. She had Ms. Del Rio before and she knew that she made them go through suffering (a lot of it) so that they could learn properly. They would thank her in the end. Either that or they’ll plot to overthrow her or something.

She leaned against her locker as students went past, rushing to get out of school. Brooke waited until she saw Yvie and went after her.

She needed to apologize.

"Yvie! Eve!” she called out.

The girl stopped and looked at her, adjusting the strap of her fluffy blue cookie monster bag. “What’s up?”

“Can I talk to you? Out. I meant, outside—somewhere out, like a coffeeshop?” Brooke asked. “I want to apologize.”

Yvie looked hesitant but then she sighed and shrugged. “Shuga’s bakery. Your treat.”

[tbc]

[overcupofcoco]

kaz brekker as an adoptive father au though

• ok so yeah, the dregs might be the edgiest and mightiest but at some point jesper and wylan have kids, nina settles down and starts her own bakery and inej can’t live in ketterdam, she a different woman now

• kaz on the other hand, this bitch might be older but he’s just gettin started. 

•yeah he’s stolen from the Ravkan kingdom now, yeah he’s in a little shit with the Shu, oops are the Zemeni after him? he almost forgot. 

• anyway, he’s swaggering down in the barrel like usual one evening when he hears really loud screams from an alley

• usually he ignores because the bastard of the barrel ain't got time for pidgeon affairs, but for some reason this time he wants to take a look. he hasn’t had his Wraith in a while so he’s gotten used to being sneaky

•what he witnesses isn’t necessarily out of the usual; a woman at gunpoint holding a child. Pleads for mercy. Screams. An attempt to run away. A murder. Pillaging of the body. 

• He took note of the killers (u never know when you need the intel) when he realizes that the child is still screaming.

• he pauses

• what the fuck was he supposed do? Leave the kid baby? Give it to some woman to take care of? he knew the probability that she would sell the child out in slavery the moment it was old enough was basically 100%

• he remembered jordie and him, young and lost, orphaned in the streets. he remembered inej, basically enslaved by Tante Heleen

• before he knew it, he was walking towards the corpse, uncovering the baby that couldn’t older than three years, from under its dead mother’s long skirts. 

• it was a girl. dark skinned, tufts of curly hair, large grey eyes staring up at him in concern. 

• “god dammit” he muttered, wrapping the girl in his coat and bringing her to the slat. he would give the girl to Jesper and Wylan when they came back from their vacation in 3 weeks. in the meanwhile, he would somehow deal with her. 

• The girl was a clever one, silent and observing as he made their way to the Crows Club. She didn’t cry for her mother, perhaps because Kaz’s glare was too frightening, or perhaps because she simply wasn’t afraid at all. 

• He put her on the bed, looking at her with hard eyes. She stared back, tilting her head. “No talking.” he said promptly, “No moving.” 

• The first hour, he almost ripped his hair out. Drug dealers, mafia, merchants, gang members, he could easily deal with. But a curious child? 

• Somehow, she had managed to open a pen and scrawl all over his pillows.

• He didn’t bother to use any type of voice when he scolded. it was the same cold, flat voice he used during parleys. “No. Don’t do that. Don’t touch my pens,”

• she just frowned, tilting her head to the side. something dinged in Kaz’s heart and he didn’t like it.

•at some point, she figured out how to climb out of his bed and was now crawling around his room. he couldn’t focus-- so he resorted to observing, leaning back in his chair. 

• she had started silently babbling herself, fidgeting with papers on the ground, chair legs, discarded coins. 

• slowly he grew used to her static mumbling and managed to start paperwork again until--

• a weak tug on his pant leg. He flinches back, looking down sharply at the girl

• “my leg hurts”

• Kaz probably hadn’t been taken by surprise in years but those three words shocked him. she could talk?

• he looks at her silently, clenched her jaw. her eyes were a bright blue. Should he call a medik? Should he ignore her? he couldn’t have people knowing there was a child in his room or that he needed medik. It was a weakness.

• “Where?” same flat, uninterested voice.

• She struggled to lift her soiled pant leg to reveal a mildly bloodied gash across her calf. Kaz could tell it wasn’t deep. 

• “It hurts a lot, mister, help?”

• now imagine Kaz Brekker, after a long pause, picking up the girl from under her arms and bringing her to the bed. He spends half an hour cleaning and mending her leg as she sits quietly. 

• “is mama dead?”

• “yes. gone.”

• “are you going to kill me, mister?”

• pauses his work to look up at her. decidedly, she was full of surprises. 

• “not planning to,” he squinted at the tiny girl, “how old are you?”

• the girl cracked a smile and held up three fingers-- proud of herself. “I’m four in one months, mister!”

• “When did you learn how to speak?” 

• the girl looked bewildered... for the first time in the evening, fear was in her light eyes, “I don’t know, mister brekker”

• Kaz looked at her sharply. She recoiled in fear at his menacing glare. She must have known how to read, his name had been all over the papers she was fiddling with. 

• “You call me Kaz. Only Kaz. You stay in this room until I can find you some parents.”

• That first night, the girl slept in the bed. Kaz slept in his chair-- only to be woken up by a clang of rustling early the next morning. 

• reflexes kicked in and he grabbed his gun. 

• “i just wanted water, mister Kaz.” a high pitched voice said weakly as the girl’s head popped up from behind the desk. Her leg was clearly better, as she was standing up. 

• annoyed sigh from Kaz. He just picked up his cane and coat, having slept in his gloves, and just scowled at the girl. She looked at him, then proceeded to continue her attempts at reaching the tall glass of water on the desk-- failing miserably. 

• Kaz handed it to her and she gulped it all down. 

• Kaz left the entire day, running errands, checking on the crow club. He had left crackers and water for the girl, but in reality, he knew he was desperately trying to rid the child of his thoughts. 

• he was kaz brekker, for saints’ sake, and there was a talking toddler in his office? 

• he finally came back in his room late in the evening, expecting the child to be either somehow dead or asleep, but instead, he found her standing on his chair that she had pushed against the window ledge, looking outside and talking to herself. 

•Panick ran through him. What if people saw her? What if people thought he was holding children hostage? Worse, what if people thought he had a child? What if... she could fall over the ledge...

• “Get off the chair,” “I thought I had told you to stay hidden”

• “Sorry mister Kaz, I thought you had told me to stay in the room”

• did she just accidentally sass him? 

• the next day, she wasn’t perched over the window, but she was on his desk, grasping a pencil and struggling to manipulate the utensil in her tiny hand. her face was pure concentration.

• silently, Kaz walked up behind her, reading over her shoulder. Two days after having picked her up, he knew better than to just expect her to be scribbling gibberish. 

• Z U R i       zURi     fat circle for the dots above the i, uneven letters, but still writing.

• “this is my name! do you like it, mister Kaz?” Zuri. Hope in Zemeni. He realized he had never asked her name. She hadn’t seem bothered. “You said no touching the pen... this has no black stuff, so I used it! Look, mister Kaz! I made you a pretty picture!”

• She beamed, shoving another piece of paper in his face. It was messy, but Kaz could see the outline of a child with dark skin, a bigger person colored in crudely with black-- and was that a bird?

• “That’s me--- that’s you, Mister Kaz! Those lines are your eyebrows because you are always mad! and that's the nice bird that comes to the window sometimes!”

• It became routine. Kaz spent his day out, leaving Zuri in his room. He provided food, water, paper, pens and after the fourth day and massive amounts of begging in the middle of the night, a box of colored pencils.

• ( “Mister Kaz” *groan from Kaz* *Gentle tug on his pant leg* “Can I get color?” “What?” “Color for my drawings!”......... “Please?”...... “Fine. Go to bed. Time to sleep.”)

• Gradually, Kaz spent less time thinking he was insane for taking in a child, and more time observing the girl. she was sharp, learning quickly. She knew immediately that touching Kaz was a big no-no, apart from the spare pant leg tug. 

• Sometimes, she would ask Kaz for help. Give him her drawings. They were always of her and him and a crow, in different settings. In the beginning, he grudgingly agreed, only out of annoyance that she may start to cry. 

• (she had never cried in front of him, but he heard her gentle sniffles in the middle of the name and her whispers for her mother) (he tried to ignore her)

•anyway, as the days passed, he started really paying attention to her letters on the papers, giving her advice and examples. She improved fast. 

• Two weeks passed. It was raining outside. Kaz was working and Zuri was silently practicing her letters right under his desk.

• “Mister Kaz?” “Hmm?” “Why do you have the stick?” The cane. 

• He paused. “My leg is hurt.” “Like me?” “No.” “Why?” “Because mine is hurt forever.” pause “Why?”

• Zuri might have been a quiet girl, but Kaz knew that she grasped at any opportunity to ask questions. 

• “Enough questions.” 

• Silence. 

• “Mister Kaz?” she squeaked slowly. He exhaled. “What?”

• “Are you magical?” she peaked out from under the desk.

• “What?”

• “Sometimes you make things disappear from people. I see it.”

• Kaz put down his pen and rose an eyebrow, peering at her from his chair. Had she been getting out of the room? Of course, in the Crow Club, he picked different pockets or simply impressed the guests with sleight of hand-- but no one was supposed to notice that.

• “Did you go out of the room?”

• Immediately, she realized her mistake. She tucked her chin in her neck and looked down shamefully. “Nevermind.” She picked up the orange pencil.

• He almost laughed. He thought he would be mad at her for jeopardizing both her and him, but her worried little face was too cute-- what was he thinking? he shook away the thoughts. Jesper and Wylan would be in Ketterdam soon enough and the girl would be out of his legs

• literally. 

• There was thunder that night. Kaz had gradually collected dozens of blankets to make a bed for the girl. That night, there was no tug at his pant leg, but whimpers. Loud ones. Kaz couldn't ignore them

• “Zuri?” he grumbled. 

• Silence.  

• “Zuri.” he turned on the little lamp at on his bedside table. He waited. Slowing, Zuri got up. The shirt he had given her to sleep in reached her toes. 

• “I’m sorry, Mister Kaz,” she whispered. Her face was full of tears, her blue eyes shining in the light, “The loud noise makes me scared.” 

• As if to prove a point, thunder resonated and Zuri pressed her lips together, shaking and covering her ears. She didn’t cry though. Never when he could see. 

• His heart twisted. His heart twisted for her. He made the decision. 

• “Come here.” he lifted a corner of the covers, inviting her in. She hesitated. 

• “Now or never.” he warned. she waddled to the bed, struggling to get over the side. Kaz silently slipped on his gloves as Zuri curled herself in a ball.

• Zuri had never asked him about the gloves and he was thankful.

•The bed wasn’t big, but she took up so little space that he could easily keep a healthy distance away. 

•Thunder boomed as he turned off the light.“I’m scared, Mister Kaz” 

• he froze. 

• “Don’t worry, I’ll protect you.” He could barely fathom the words he said.

• “With your magic?”

• “With my magic.” 

• The three weeks went by, and Kaz gave Zuri to Wylan and Jesper who easily took her in. They didn’t ask any questions. 

• As Kaz packed up Zuri’s possessions that she had collected throughout the three weeks, the girl looked at him sadly. 

• “Why do I have to go Mister Kaz?” 

• “It’s better for you.”

• “Why?”

• He sighed. “Because.”

• “I’m going to miss you, Mister Kaz.” 

• He clenched his jaw, giving her the box of her belongings. It had seemed like forever ago that he had found her in her late mother’s embrace. 

• “Me too, Zuri.” They had not hugged, but she had tugged on his pant leg one last time.

• The days went by. The office was back to what it had been before. Calm, orderly, silent. 

• Kaz had dreaded the feeling, but he knew that he missed it. He missed her. Her mumbling, the soft sound of her feet padding the ground, her drawings, her letters, the Zemeni lullabies, her excited smile, her small pout when he told her he wouldn’t get her waffles, her frown when he told her to brush her teeth. 

• He even missed her minuscule presence at night. 

• It had been a week since she had gone away. He had ignored Wylan and Jesper. He didn’t want to know what they had done with the girl-- he trusted them enough. Then he found them--

• Of course he did. Of course he kept them.  The drawings. The childish drawings. Her, him, the crow that she had named Will. Her notes. FOR MiSTER KAZ.

• He knew he should have burned them. Instead he shook his head--

• Next thing he knew, he was at the Van Eck manor. 

• “Kaz?” It was Kali, Jesper and Wylan’s oldest daughter. She swung the door wide to reveal Jesper carrying Zuri. 

• Her face light up the moment she saw him. 

• “Mister Kaz!” she waved gingerly, but smiled wide. “I was telling Mister Jesper that I did a cartwheel!”

• Jesper grinned. He may have been in his late thirties, but the man still had the heart of a teenager. “It was very impressive,” he agreed, letting her to the ground. She rushed to Kaz, but stopped a safe distance away.

• “Are we going home, Mister Kaz?” she asked, eyes twinkling.

• Jesper interjected, “Zuri, darling, Mister Kaz can’t--” 

• “Yes,” Kaz breathed, squatting down to level her, “We are going home. Will the Crow misses you.”

• Jesper’s jaw dropped. Zuri clapped her hands. “Crows are so nice!”

• Kaz cracked a genuine smile, offering a bare hand to the little girl that had somehow given him a new dimension in life. 

• She grabbed it slowly.

• “Now... how about some waffles for the birthday girl?”

so yep yeah idk this just is something i want like a little girl to soften out Kaz’s edges you know what I mean? also i know shes really young but thats the point she like a genius u know idk

[nar-nia]

hi, love

i discovered ur blog by a total accident, looking for something to read, while scrolling through heeseung tag (cuz im a simp) i saw the babysitters club teaser, and i was rly excited to say the least, after u posted i honestly fell in love with ur writing style, the way u describe things and the amazing plot <33, i remember i reread it with heart eyes, not kidding

so naturally i started reading all the other fics for enhypen boys and the current heeseung series has me in chokehold!!! it's truly amazing and im always super super excited for fridays! the story line is phenomenal even though hee is a silly boy *sigh* hope he will do better!

also the short angsty (1:40 pm) drabble u posted recently omg it was just wow, i felt it in my heart, kinda relatable ngl <\3 where is my hee *shaking my head*

anyway

im rly confused why ur works are not receiving the attention and love they deserve, its really sad :((( i hope it doesn't bother u that much tho, but trust me i try rly hard to send ask everytime u post so at least u know there is someone here!! I AM!!!!!✨

im very thankful for this blog its nice, fun, quiet and quite a fantastic place, i feel rly cozy coming here and rereading ur works is always fun, but it might be a little creepy how many times i read baby sitting club - but what can i say it is my comfort fic <33

im sorry if u are having hard time, nina!!! i think u are amazing and ur art is truly stunning!! *smooch on the forehead*, whatever u are doing right now im proud of u, keep going!!

this message reminded of that one meme/copy pasta tho

 If Nina has million number of fans i am one of them if nina has ten fans i am one of them if nina have only one fan and that is me if nina has no fans, that means i am no more on the earth . if world against nina, i am against the world. i love #nina till my last breath.. .. Die Hard fan of nina

your ask actually made me cry a bit, it was so sweet and kind 💖 thank you so much.

aren't we all simps for heeseung? that guy is just so * loud screaming* but i'm glad that you discovered my stories thanks to it 🤭 and the babysitters club! i'm still so proud of this story, i think i had heart eyes while writing it too 😅 but hearing that you loved it makes me really happy.

and the heeseung story, yay 🥰 it breaks my heart every time i have to write something else than sweet moments for y/n and hee but it has to be 😔 not for much longer though, if i'm allowed to say this little spoiler!

i'm sorry that you can relate to the drabble 😕 it was a spontaneous idea and involved a lot of self-insertion so i know how you feel. i'm not heeseung but i'm sending you a big hug anyways <33

I AM SO GLAD THAT YOU ARE HERE 💖💖 it makes me really happy seeing your asks after every chapter, and it motivates me even more to write new chapters. i don't mind how many people read my stories as long as the ones that do enjoy it 😊 i'm already amazed that other people than my friends actually love what i'm doing here. and i'm grateful that you are here <33

now this is the part where i started crying because not only did you say so many nice things about my blog but also the fact that the babysitters club is your comfort fic? it's definitely not creepy if you've reread it a lot of times, it's so sweet and kind and i'm really getting emotional right now. please read it as often as you want, i'm glad it can give you comfort!

i already feel better reading your ask (even though i said i was crying right before... IT WAS HAPPY TEARS) <33

thank you thank you thank you 💖💖

[secretlystephaniebrown]

Take My Love: 4/?

It's New Years Eve! Let's wrap up the year with some Firefly AU, shall we?

Special thanks to @sroloc--elbisivni, who wrote the York section this chapter! Thanks Nina! <3

Mild warnings for flashbacks in this one, but generally things are a lot calmer after the last one. 

Summary: Allison Texas is a wanted woman. She stole something very valuable from the Alliance. And even if it’s going to bring a world of trouble down on their heads, Carolina can’t help but think it might be worth it.

Pairings: Church/Tex/Jackie (OC)

Previous

Also on Ao3

Doc checks them both over. Jackie screams whenever someone touches her who isn’t Wash or Donut or Church. (Well, Wash suspects she might not scream if Tex touches her, but he doesn’t want to dwell on that.)

“Well?” Carolina asks. They’ve locked Tex in her room for now, with the old preacher keeping an eye on her. She’d fought at being separated from the two, but wouldn’t answer any questions.

“Uh, well,” Doc shifted. “The blood’s all old, but I’m pretty sure it’s theirs? Nosebleeds, mostly, I think.”

“Nosebleeds?” Wash asks, feeling hollow. Jackie’s hair had been absolutely matted with blood.

Doc nods. “Lots of them. Over an extended period of time.”

Inside the infirmary, Jackie has her knees pulled against her chest, muttering to herself. Nonsense mostly, as far as Wash can make out. Something about a chess game.

“What happened to them?” Carolina demands.

“I’m not sure,” Doc admits. “It’s... weird. Physically they seem healthy. There are some signs of sleep deprivation, but cyro mostly fixed that up. Some bruising on the wrists, but it’s weird.”

Wash and Carolina both look up at that.

“Bruising,” Carolina says. “On the ankles, too?”

Doc pauses. “How did you know that?”

“You don’t think?” Wash asks, half turning to face her.

“I think that if they did that to you,” Carolina says, staring at their little siblings, at where Church has made his way over to Jackie and has curled up next to her, like a cat, “What would they do to a bunch of young geniuses, locked away from the rest of the world?”

Wash feels his wrists twinge. He can only imagine, and he knows he’ll hate the answers.

“We need to talk to Texas,” Wash says. Jackie is pressing her hand against Church’s face and crying.

Wash places his hand against the window. “She’s supposed to be at a fancy school in the Core,” he says, anger coiling in his stomach. “Frank heard from her three weeks ago.”

“I haven’t heard from Church since the war,” Carolina says, looking dull. “I assumed he’d cut off contact after I switched sides.”

Wash suddenly doubles over as Jackie suddenly lurches away from Church, crying out.

Straps around his wrists, a needle in his forehead, pain, pain, wracking pain. Fire flowing through his veins.

“What do you see?” A man he doesn’t know in the side of his vision. “Tell me what you see.”

Wash opens his mouth, and only screams come out.

“Wash!” Carolina pulls him up. “Wash, are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” he mutters, even though he’s shaking, drenched in a cold sweat. “Just--flashback.” A new one. The drugs they’d pumped him full of while captive had blurred his memories.

Carolina frowns. “We need to talk to Texas. We need answers.”

Wash looks up, and sees Jackie curled into a corner, sobbing. Church is curled up away from her, clutching the side of his head.

“Yes,” Wash says. “We do.”

After Tex tells them about the Academy, Carolina has nothing else to say.

Carolina makes her way to her bunk, avoiding the medical bay where her brother is.  

Epsilon yowls at her, hungry, worming his way between her feet. She dumps out a portion of dry food for him, and grabs her messages.

She scrolls through everything she ever received from Church over the years, ever since the last time they’d seen each other. She saved them all, even the stupid little scrawls and insults.

Now that she’s looking for them, she can see them, hidden in the short missives that he’d sent her. Mistakes. Slowly, painfully, she works her way through them, translating them into the messages she now knows are there.

T  H E Y ‘ R E

H U R T I N G

U S

H E L P.

S H E ‘ S

S C R E A M I N G.

H E

D O E S N ‘ T

C A R E.

C A R O L I N A.

H E L P.

P L E A S E.

They lock Tex in the cabin and won’t let her out.

As soon as the ship moves into the night cycle, Tex knocks out the shepherd keeping an eye on her and books it to the infirmary. He’s halfway decent for a shepherd, but he’s no match for her.

And after years of being kept apart from Jackie and Church, Tex isn’t about to let anything stand in her way, especially not an old man who tells her to call him Sarge.

It’s night and no one’s there. The door’s locked, and the lights are off. Tex breaks it with ease, seething that they locked them in again. They had been locked away for years. How dare they try to lock them away again?  

“Tex?” Jackie calls, her voice soft and distant. She’s sitting on one of the cots that have been provided, looking far away despite their proximity.   

“I’m here,” Tex says, moving into the infirmary.  

“Church is sleeping,” Jackie says. Sure enough, he’s curled up on his side, his head in her lap. He looks peaceful—it’s like being back at school, if it weren’t for the look on Jackie’s face—slightly vague and confused, but also distraught. She hasn’t looked present since Tex had dragged her out of the Academy. “It’s his turn.”

Tex swallows her rage. Why are they taking turns? “I’m here now,” she says. “I can keep an eye out.”

Jackie looks thoughtful. “You’ll stay?” She asks, quietly, as if she’s not quite sure she believes Tex.

“Yes,” Tex says, trying not to be hurt. She sits down next to Jackie, who carefully starts shifting Church so he’s between them, then curling around him. Tex lies down as well, carefully laying her arm over Church so she can rest her hand on Jackie’s side.

“I’ve got you,” Tex whispers.

“I know,” Jackie says, wrapping her arms around Church and burying her face against his back. “We’re safe here. Valhalla is good.”

It doesn’t occur to Tex to ask how Jackie knows the name of the ship, when no one’s mentioned it to her.

In the morning, although Carolina is furious that Tex hit Sarge and broke into the infirmary, she agrees to let her stay. There’s no question about Jackie or Church leaving, either. Carolina is not about to let her brother out of her sight, not after those messages she’s found. And she’s certainly not about to inflict that on Donut or Wash either.

It’s… not great, she has to admit. This changes things. When before they’d tried to stick to legal jobs, now there’s three fugitives who are hiding in her ship. Texas can walk around and help on jobs, but Jackie and Church are… unstable. They talk nonsense and gravitate towards each other, sometimes spending entire days without speaking, only hovering near each other, refusing to be parted at all.

They avoid the medical bay whenever they can, and Carolina has caught Jackie lifting up parts of the floor to hide in at least twice. Church is less prone to hiding in strange spots, and instead has ripped up Sarge’s Bible, endeared himself to Caboose, and thrown things at Wash until Jackie snapped and yelled his name.

Tex is of no help in figuring out these behaviors. She doesn’t have answers for what’s happened to them, and is just as likely to egg them on as she is to try to stop them. “They’ll figure things out,” she says. “Just give them time.”

Carolina’s moved Church into her room, not wanting to leave him alone, and not quite trusting him to anyone else. Some nights he sneaks out, and Carolina knows that he’s spending those nights with Jackie or Tex, but she doesn’t say anything, for fear of driving him away. Meanwhile, Jackie bounces between Donut’s room and the room that Wash shares with Tucker and Junior. A few questions to Wash reveals that Jackie also vanishes at night on occasion.

Carolina has no idea what to make of… whatever it is that her father has turned two bright geniuses into. Jackie, from Wash and Donut’s stories, had been a fiercely intelligent child who had liked books and games. Her own brother had been a giant nerd who had fought with everything and everyone, not a quiet, scared man who hates raised voices.

“I’m sorry,” she tells Church, one night when they’re alone in her room, with Epsilon sitting on her lap. “I’m sorry I didn’t see your messages.”

“You were busy,” he mutters, his green eyes refusing to focus on her, instead darting all over the room. “The war, you had the war, grenades and fire, and—”

“Hey,” she says, grabbing his hand. “It’s okay.”

“Not okay,” he says. “He was there, sometimes, he—” Carolina swallows hard. She doesn’t want to hear this, she can’t hear this, she…

He stops talking immediately and lies down, not even getting under the covers.

“Sleep now,” he says flatly.

“He’s not going to touch you again,” Carolina promises, unsure of what to do with the sudden change in pace. She reaches out and touches his face. “I promise.”

“Fifty four percent,” he says, his voice slow and sleepy. Then he closes his eyes and instantly falls asleep, as if he’s managed to flip a switch. Carolina carefully places Epsilon next to him. Epsilon gives her a wide, offended stare, but settles in, keeping her brother warm while Carolina goes about her nightly routine.

She can’t make heads or tails of the things Church says, sometimes.

York hasn’t grown his hair out since before he decided to leave the Core, but in his younger, vainer days he had it tumbling to his hips. He still remembers the routine of caring for it, the oils and brushing and pins.

It’s almost as soothing to practice it for someone else, and he can see the tension uncoiling from Jackie’s shoulders as he runs the comb through her wet hair again and again.

“I can braid this, if you want to keep it tidy. Pin it up so it’s off your neck, too.” It would be easier to keep it clean that way, too, but he has a feeling that she’s spent a long time being made to do things because they were convenient for whoever was looking after her. He adds, “It would look nice, too. Highlight your cheekbones.”

“You’re nice,” Jackie mumbles. “Careful. You don’t have to be. They tried to break us and couldn’t. You won’t by accident.”

York pauses, blinked, and continued, puzzling over that. Delta lets out a shriek from his perch, where he’s gnawing on a bone toy.

“Loose,” Jackie says, suddenly. “I can brush it.”

“Okay,” York says, and ran the comb through her curls again.

“I think your friend can read my mind,” York tells Tex later, when they’re hanging out around the table.

Tex cackles. “Yeah, she does that.”

“I feel like you should be more surprised by this.”

“It’s not—Jackie does that.” Her face goes soft, but York knows better than to mention that. “She’s good with people. She and Church used to have this game, where she’d matchmake couples and Church would break them up.”

York hums. It’s a companion trick, when you aren’t sure what to say.

Reading body language, he can understand. Companions are trained to do the same thing, to hear what hasn’t been said. He knows what that was. That isn’t what happened.

But he won’t start tension for no reason. He’ll just have to wait and see what happens.

Wash’s nightmares have been worse since Jackie’s arrived on the ship.

He guesses that’s not entirely surprising, given at the indications that the same people who had captured him had also been responsible for what had happened to his sister. And, going off the few cryptic comments that Jackie has made in some of her more lucid moments, he kind of suspects that he might have been grabbed because of her.

But his nightmares are not only worsening, they don’t make sense. They’re not like the old ones, which he had known pretty well, but they’re new and strange and… worse. He checks his arms every morning, searching for scars to correspond with the locations of the needles he remembers sinking into his skin, but there never are any there. He dreams of long stretches of time, of other prisoners, even though he’d been kept alone for a short period of time.

His headaches are nearly constant, a loud pounding that’s deafening, and a pain that makes him almost unable to leave the bed on some days.

“I’m sorry,” Jackie says, sitting at the foot of his bed, staring right at him during one particularly bad one. “I can’t stop it.”

“What are you talking about?” Wash snaps. He regrets it; snapping at Jackie these days is almost as bad as snapping at Caboose. She’s not all there. It’s not quite his sister, who had been able to give as good as she got.

She throws a pillow at him. “I’m not fragile!” She yells, her voice shaking and unsure, even as she grabs another pillow, climbs across the bed, and keeps hitting him over and over again. Wash throws up his arms to defend himself, but the blows are glancing at best. “They didn’t break me! They didn’t break you! They’re—they’re bad at breaking things!” Tears are flowing down her face, but she doesn’t let up until Wash grabs her wrists.

“Do you know why?”

Jackie stares at him.

“I’m good with people,” she says, her voice suddenly far away.

“I know, Jackie, but why did they do this?”

“It wasn’t working,” she whispers. “It wasn’t working, or they thought it wasn’t because we were pretending, but then they had you and it hurt too much and I couldn’t help it.”

“… couldn’t help what, Jackie?” Wash knows his grip on her wrists it too tight, but she tries to pull away, and he holds on, because this is the most coherent she’s been in weeks, and he doesn’t know how to handle any of this.

“It worked,” she whispers. “That’s the problem, it worked.”

“You said they didn’t break you,” Wash says, trying to figure this out. There’s something there that he’s not seeing, something just out of his reach.

“They didn’t,” she whispers. “But the other thing did.”

“What is it?” Wash demands.

Jackie shakes her head, her eyes full of tears. “It hurt,” she whispers.

Wash sighs, and lets go of her. She curls into a ball and buries herself in blankets and pillows.

Wash sighs, and lies down next to her. He might as well try to get some rest.

“Say it,” the voice whispers. “Say it.”

“No,” he says. “I won’t.”

Elecriticty courses through Wash, and he screams and screams and screams.

“Say it.”

“Pick—pick up the knife!”

The figure in front of him moves suddenly, and there’s a spike of pain, as the figure picks up the knife while the hand that belongs to the voice suddenly plunges a needle into his temple.

Wash screams, and he turns his head, his long brown hair falling into his face—

He wakes up with a start, and pushes through the cushions to find Jackie, who is also screaming, writhing in place as if being electrocuted.

“Jackie!” Wash grabs her to wake her up.

She wakes, screaming, her eyes flying open, and then she stops abruptly, staring up at him like he’s a ghost. Then she bursts into tears.

Wash tries to soothe her, brushing her hair out of her face. He scrambles, trying to remember a lullaby or something from Iowa, something to calm her down.

It’s then he notices the scarring on her temple, right where he had felt the needle being plunged into his own skull, moments ago. It looks… it looks like the scar that Wash feels like he should have, after that nightmare.

He thinks about the long, brown hair in the dream, the voices he didn’t know, the tests that didn’t make sense, the rooms that were too large, and were filled with strangers.

“Jackie,” he whispers, shaking her slightly to get her to look at him. “Have I been sharing your dreams?”

“I’m sorry,” she whispers, gripping at his shirt with both hands. Her face is damp with tears, and she can’t meet his eyes. He’s not sure if she’s talking to him now, or in the dream. “I try to keep you out. I try, really. But I’m not good enough. It’s too hard.”

“It’s okay,” he whispers, numb as his brain tries to process this information. “It’s… it’s fine, Jackie, really.”

Wash goes up to the others a moment later, his head pounding and his walk unsteady.

He leans against the doorway to the common area, feeling like the world is about to tilt on his axis.

“Wash!” Tucker says, looking panicked. He stands up from his spot at the table suddenly, upending the silverware and the protein bar that he’d been eating. “You’re supposed to be sleeping, why are you awake—”

Wash’s feet give out from under him all of a sudden, and Tucker yells, lunging forward to catch him. Wash sags in his husband’s arms, but he struggles back up, because he has to tell Carolina. He has to tell her, so they can put an end to this mystery once and for all, so they can start to figure out what all of this means.

“What is it, Wash?” Carolina is kneeling next to him, her hand cold on his forehead.

“I know what they were trying to do to Jackie and Church,” he says.

Texas appears suddenly, helping Tucker haul him to his feet. “What is it?”

“Psychics,” Wash says, leaning into the warmth and safety of Tucker’s shoulder. “They were trying to make psychics. And I think they succeeded.”

[alwayskaysanova]

what did you think of the tvd final? it felt rushed to me and i'm even more upset now ive seen all the interviews with kevin saying it was always meant to be stelena and it feels like a slap in the face that they gave us delena but only by default and the delena we got was so lacking everything i loved about them what did you think?

it’s taken me two days to process everything i felt about that finale and i’m still not fully there yet but i’m gonna try to put my feelings down and then move on

firstly, i had a lot of fun watching it with everyone (specifically @lowsodiumfreaks bc it was hilarious) and i am really glad i got to experience this fandom one last time in all its crazy glory

(i’m tagging @insightfuldamon too bc i like yelling my feelings at jackie bc she understands and i love her for it)

immediately after the finale i was content, i was crying, i was thankful for the show and its characters, i was generally A Mess but i was happy about it

yesterday, once i’d had some sleep and a chance to properly look at the finale by watching it again without the fear of my faves dying i was…less happy with it

i’m gonna start by saying what i loved and still love;

BONNIE BENNETT BEING THE ULTIMATE HERO WE ALL KNOW SHE’S BEEN FROM THE BEGINNING

the bennett witches being fucking amazing

that steroline phonecall bc as someone who never really shipped steroline that was the first time i truly felt it and i was so upset on behalf of caroline and stefan that they didn’t even get a day of marriage before death did them part

caroline/alaric and their girls, the whole convo where alaric mentioned liz and caroline got it and chose her girls over stefan bc she knew it was the right thing to do regardless of her love for him she’ll always put her girls first AND GUYS THAT WAS SO AWESOME BC ONE OF CAROLINE’S MAIN CHARACTER POINTS WAS GETTING THE GUY AND SHE LET THE GUY GO IN THE END !!!!!

BONLENA REUNION!! both times were glorious

all the defan. all of it. amazing. the whole scene where they were trying to sacrifice themselves for each other and i didn’t want either of them to die but then damon chose to save stefan and compelled him away AND I WAS SOBBING SO HARD AND SCREAMING AT CHAR but i’d also accepted it and was so proud of damon bc it was such a great moment in his journey

and then the plot twist with stefan tricking damon and turning him human and then sacrificing himself instead AND I WAS EVEN MORE OF A MESS BC I DIDN’T WANT IT AND HISTORICALLY I HAVE HATED STEFAN BUT I DIDN’T WANT HIM TO DIE but it was beautiful that he went out saving everyone

the whole stelena goodbye was a nice nod to their relationship even though i never liked it i adored their goodbye scene

STEFAN AND LEXI AND I WAS FEELING EPIC

the little daroline scene was cute

caroline seeing elena again!! all the girl feels when they were sat on the bench

i did like all the after death reunion scenes and the nods to past characters even if it felt a little too ‘wrap it neatly in a ribbon/all the fuzzy feels/overdone’

all the donovan family feelings were beautiful

now on to the things i didn’t like;

the delena scenes were flat as hell, felt forced, disjointed and just generally Bad

we got no conversation, no last ‘i love you’, no hint of a flashforward into those supposed ‘happy, human lives’

don’t get me wrong i’m content with the endgame and my 12 year old self now feels supremely justified in all her decision makings but it was so U G H purely bc it wasn’t anything

we got the endgame in name only and i didn’t feel it

i have a suspicion most of it was to do with the very obvious bad feeling between ian and nina, though i have to give credit bc i 100% felt everything delena from nina’s side it was ian doing a terrible job which was seriously jarring after how amazing his acting was in the scene with paul when defan were debating who was gonna die

the kiss was awkward, the handholding was awkward, the looks were awkward, EVERYTHING WAS AWKWARD THEY WERE LITERALLY ON SCREEN FOR A MINUTE AND IAN COULDN’T ADULT ENOUGH TO GET THROUGH IT GOOD LORD

but whatever i’m done, it’s over, bye

/side note; the interviews afterwards mean shit to me tbh bc the writers knew that nina was leaving at the beginning of season 6 so if they had ever truly intended stelena to be endgame they had plenty of time to write it and it’s obvious they’re just throwing every fandom a bone bc delena get to claim the endgame but the interviews suggest stelena get to feel justified in thinking stelena was always meant to be

blaming nina leaving is an utterly shitty thing to do so they can fuck off with that nonsense

the bottom line is they wrote the show, they decided the relationship endgames, they CHOSE THE CHARACTER ENDGAMES

their writing is on them and they need to own their decisions and stop trying to appease everyone or shift blame to one fucking actress like she didn’t dedicate her whole damn sanity to the shit they put her through

like the fact she even came back…they didn’t deserve her that’s all i’m gonna say but then they haven’t been deserving kat graham since she arrived so…fuck them basically

/end side note

i was disappointed that there was no dalaric other than the casual mention, there was no denzo, there was no last bamon scene which was utter bullshit considering they are supposed to be best friends though i loved damon mentioning his utter faith in bonnie and i also loved how as soon as bonnie found out damon was off to sacrifice himself she was like ‘nope i’m gonna save their asses’ once again

i’m waiting for a character to embody the title of ‘Queen’ more than bonnie bennett

still waiting

like we literally got a daroline scene but no bamon scene…what. the. frick?

i don’t care for katherine or datherine or steferine so all of that was a complete waste of time for me and the fact that katherine got more than elena in terms of screen time makes me all types of bitter but once again nina owned what she was given so kudos

i’m happy bonnie’s endgame was her getting the fuck out of mystic falls and i realize that their intention with that was to portray her as strong and moving on whilst still having enzo there whenever she needs him but i also can’t ignore the inherent wrongness of the black girl who has sacrificed literally everything of herself being the one who gets the ‘on her own/off to explore the world’ storyline whilst elena gets her happily ever after with damon and caroline gets her family and the future tease of klaus (also fucking africa?? s e r i o u s l y ? ?) whilst bonnie is supposed to be content with a semi love life she can’t really have until she’s dead ! ! ! n o p e 

(like bonnie is literally the only one who ends up alone after she saved every single other character multiple times I’M SO FUCKING ANGRY THAT HER ENDGAME IS COMPLETELY SEPARATE OF EVERYONE ELSE’S LIKE ‘THANKS FOR ENSURING WE LIVED LONG ENOUGH TO GET OUR HAPPILY EVER AFTERS BUT WE’RE FINE NOW BYE’ what the fuck honestly)

but i’m white so i can’t really speak to that racist nonsense and there are hundreds of people in this fandom way more qualified to speak on that than me so i won’t say anymore on it

and then the whole ‘oh we thought maybe matt and bonnie could eventually get together but we left that up to the audience’ bullshit just bc matt’s the only guy left *barf noises*

i love matt but come on (also there wasn’t enough matt for me either)

i never really liked bonenzo but i can deal with it even though it should have been bamon until bonnie died and then i’d have been fine with delena after that bc i am of the opinion that u can have more than one epic love and to me damon was in love with both bonnie and elena and we were robbed but again w/e my multishipping ass will just have to be content with fanfiction

i hate that tyler got nothing but a tiny scene smiling at matt and holding hands with vicki bc they did that character so dirty after giving him such a fantastic journey in the early seasons

listen highkey we should’ve gotten forwood but then klaroline butted in with all its nonsense and tyler lockwood was sacrificed on the alter of shipper bullshit

I HATE THAT WE GOT NO JERLENA REUNION AND IT WASN’T EVEN HINTED AT IN THE WHOLE ‘ELENA DIED THEN REUNITED WITH HER FAMILY’ SCENE

B U L L S H I T

like superficially this finale was good as far as finale’s go, i’ve had to deal with a lot worse, but when u pick it apart and get past the glossy happily ever after sheen it’s kinda false to a lot of the relationships and characters

basically i have a lot of mixed feelings on it but i personally got enough that i can now move on without feeling entirely like i wasted 8 years of my life on the show and 12 years on these characters and relationships tho lbr they never really followed the books anyway

the thing i’m most thankful for about this show is the people i’ve met online through it and if the most i can take away from this experience is the friendships i’ve made with other fans then it’s been worth it

i know some of u won’t agree with everything i’ve said, some might not agree with any of it, but i appreciate u reading it anyway and i hope the finale meant enough to u that u can still be glad u fell into the hellhole that was tvd

[brittanyyoungblog]

The Best Heartbreak Songs: 49 Broken Heart Songs

Being heart broken, feeling heartbreak—the terms seems like clichés until you experience heartbreak for yourself. After the actual experience, the words are oddly comforting. You feel lost and confused, then you read something, watch something, talk to a friend, or yes, listen to a song and suddenly you have words for how you feel. Suddenly you understand what happened to you.  

Chances are, you found this article because you’re experiencing a heartbreak and are looking for people who have been there before and can relate to how you feel. Lyrics like, “As painful as this thing has been, I just can’t be with no one else,” may sound confusing and contradictory… unless, that is, you’re been there before. Then they make perfect, painful sense. And it may be easy to mock lyrics from older songs like, “Don’t you remember, you told me you loved me baby?  You said you’d be coming back this way again baby. Baby, baby, baby, baby, oh baby.” But then again, if you’ve experienced that particular type of deception, it may be something you can relate to.

Whatever it is you’re feeling or seeking, we put together this list of classic heart break songs and songs about heartbreak to help you find people and situations you can relate to. Listen to it on Spotify or browse the list below to find a variety of songs from a variety of genres and moments in time, all about heartbreak. 

Songs About Heartbreak and Broken Hearts: 

1. Lover You Should’ve Come Over, Jackson C. Frank

Favorite Lyric: “When I’m not drinking bay, you are on my mind. When I’m not sleeping you know you’ll find me crying.” 

2. Love Is a Losing Game, Amy Winehouse

Favorite Lyric: “Over futile odds And laughed at by the gods And now the final frame Love is a losing game”

3. “Heart of Glass,” Blondie

Favorite Lyric: “Once I had a love and it was a gas Soon turned out had a heart of glass Seemed like the real thing, only to find Mucho mistrust, love’s gone behind”

4. Sound of Your Memory, Willie and Lukas Nelson

Favorite Lyric: “Ever since I met you my life’s been a song A sad song, a love song with hate in between“

5. And So It Goes, Billie Joel

Favorite Lyric: “And every time I’ve held a rose It seems I only felt the thorns And so it goes, and so it goes And so will you soon I suppose”

6. Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now, The Smiths

Favorite Lyric: “In my life Why do I give valuable time To people who don’t care if I live or die?”

7. That’s How I Got to Memphis, Tom T. Hall 

Favorite Lyric: “If you love somebody enough, you follow wherever they go. That’s how I got to Memphis. That’s how I got to Memphis.”

8. Ex Factor, Lauren Hill 

Favorite Lyric: “I keep letting you back in How can I explain myself? As painful as this thing has been I just can’t be with no one else.”

9. Break My Heart Sweetly, John Moreland

Favorite Lyric: “There’s a scar on my soul So let me down easy Break my heat sweetly Like you always do.”

10. I Get Along Without You Very Well, Nina Simone

Favorite Lyric: “I’ve forgotten you just like I should Of course I have Or maybe, except to hear your name Or someone’s laugh that’s just the same.”

11. We Can’t Be Friends, Loren Scafaria

Favorite Lyric: “I wanna hear your band; I wanna give it advice; I wanna meet your girlfriend, she sounds nice; I wanna take you home; I wanna feel my age; I wanna freak you out on a different stage; I wanna show my teeth; I wanna keep you fed; I wanna get you drunk and let it go to your head So I guess this means we can’t be friends”.

12. Total Eclipse of the Heart, Bonnie Tyler

Favorite Lyric: “(Turn around) Every now and then I get a little bit nervous That the best of all the years have gone by (Turn around) Every now and then I get a little bit terrified And then I see the look in your eyes (Turn around, bright eyes) Every now and then I fall apart”

13. Heartbreak Hotel, Elvis Presley

Favorite Lyric: “Well, since my baby left me Well, I found a new place to dwell Well, it’s down at the end of Lonely Street At Heartbreak Hotel

14. Piece of My Heart, Janis Joplin

Favorite Lyric: “Didn’t I make you feel Like you were the only man? Didn’t I give you everything A woman possibly can? Honey, you know I did.”

15. He Called Me Baby, Candi Stanton

Favorite Lyric: “He called me baby, baby All night long. Lord, I feel so empty Since he’s been gone. Now I lie here and I die here Until the dawn. I miss my baby, baby, baby All night long.”

16. Buddy, Willie Nelson

Favorite Lyric: “Laugh with me, buddy Jest with me, buddy Don’t let her get the best of me, buddy”

17. It Must Have Been Love, Roxette

Favorite Lyric: “It must have been love but it’s over now It must have been good but I lost it somehow”

18. Hope She’ll Be Happier, Bill Withers 

Favorite Lyric: “Maybe the darkness of the hour Makes me seem lonelier than I am, But over the darkness I have no power, Hope she’ll be happier with him.”

19. Foolish Games, Jewel

Favorite Lyric: “You took your coat off, stood in the rain, You’re always crazy like that.”

20. The Tracks of My Tears, The Miracles

Favorite Lyric: “So take a good look at my face You know my smile looks out of place If you look closer it’s easy to trace The tracks of my tears”

21. Sober, Childish Gambino

Favorite Lyric: “And now that’s it’s over, I’ll never be sober I couldn’t believe, but now I’m so high”

22. I’d Rather Go Blind, Etta James

Favorite Lyric: “I would rather, I would rather go blind boy Than to see you, walk away from me child. So you see, I love you so much That I don’t want to watch you leave me baby. Most of all, I just don’t, I just don’t want to be free.”

23. Smoke Gets in Your Eyes, The Platters

Favorite Lyric: “Now laughing friends deride Tears I cannot hide So I smile and say When a lovely flame dies, smoke gets in your eyes.”

24. Un-break My Heart, Toni Braxton

Favorite Lyric: “Un-break my heart Say you’ll love me again Undo this hurt you caused When you walked out the door And walked out of my life”

25. Superstar, Carpenters

Favorite Lyric: “Don’t you remember, you told me you loved me baby? You said you’d be coming back this way again baby Baby, baby, baby, baby, oh baby I love you, I really do”

26. Love of My Life, Queen 

Favorite Lyric: “Love of my life, you’ve hurt me You’ve broken my heart, and now you leave me.”

27. What Becomes of the Brokenhearted, Jimmy Ruffin

Favorite Lyric: “As I walk this land with broken dreams I have visions of many things But happiness is just an illusion Filled with sadness and confusion.”

28. All I Want, Kodaline

Favorite Lyric: “But If you loved me Why did you leave me Take my body Take my body All I want is All I need is To find somebody I’ll find somebody”

29. You Were Mine, Dixie Chicks

Favorite Lyric: “Sometimes I wake up crying at night And sometimes I scream out your name What right does she have to take you away When for so long you were mine”

30. Yesterday, The Beatles

Favorite Lyric: “Why she had to go I don’t know she wouldn’t say I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday.“

31. Crying, Roy Orbison

Favorite Lyric: “I was all right for awhile I could smile for awhile But I saw you last night You held my hand so tight As you stopped to say, Hello”

32. I Fall to Pieces, Patsy Cline

Favorite Lyric: “You want me to act like we’ve never kissed You want me to forget Pretend we’ve never met. And I’ve tried and I’ve tried But I haven’t yet.“

33. Against All Odds, Phil Collins

Favorite Lyric: “So take a look at me now Well there’s just an empty space.”

34. Losing You, Solange

Favorite Lyric: “I love him but every day I’m learning. All my life I’ve only been pretending.”

35. Losing You, Solange

Favorite Lyric: “We use to kiss all night but now there’s just no use I don’t know why I fight it, clearly we are through Tell me the truth boy, am I losing you for good?“

36. Standing In the Doorway, Bob Dylan 

Favorite Lyric: “I got no place left to turn I got nothin’ left to burn Don’t know if I saw you if I would kiss you or kill you It probably wouldn’t matter to you anyhow”

37. The Winner Takes It All, ABBA

Favorite Lyric: “The judges will decide The likes of me abide Spectators of the show Always staying low The game is on again A lover or a friend A big thing or a small The winner takes it all.”

38. Rolling in the Deep, Adele

Favorite Lyric: “The scars of your love remind me of us They keep me thinking that we almost had it all. The scars of your love they leave me breathless, I can’t help feeling, we could have had it all.”

39. I Wish It Would Rain, The Temptations 

Favorite Lyric: “Sunshine, blue skies, please go away A girl has found another and gone away With her went my future, my life is filled with gloom So day after day I stay locked up in my room I know to you, it might sound strange But I wish it would rain.”

40. How Can You Mend a Broken Heart, Al Green

Favorite Lyric: “And how can you mend a broken heart? How can you stop the rain from falling down? How can you stop the sun from shining? What makes the world go round?”

41. Goodbye My Lover, James Blunt 

Favorite Lyric: “Goodbye my lover. Goodbye my friend. You have been the one. You have been the one for me.”

42. Nothing Compares 2 U, Prince (original by Sinéad O’Connor)

Favorite Lyric: “All the flowers that you planted mama In the back yard All died when you went away.”

IFTTT

[boxwinebaddie]

— COULD IT BE????

U-UNCLE NIIINA!!!

IS. THAT.../YOU/? </3

tw for mild body horror, semi-graphic medical talk

*reaches my kenny girl hand up thru the dirt by my grave

& shoots the wink, finger gun, peace sign, wave combo*

HELLOOOO, MY LOVES! />o</ <333

( i'll make a bigger post later; swearsies. )

but where’s uncle nina?...Long Story Short?

i am seriously dreading having to go to the hospital for...the THIRD FUCKING TIME, so my diaHAGnosis hasn't been officially proven,

but trust me...juuuust trust me...

*is somewhere between a laugh, sigh, scream and cry*

i am about 95% sure....

tHAT A CHILD W/ NASTY DISGUSTIN GERM COVERED HANDS GAVE ME

A FUCKING PARASITE!???

wheeeew!~ yayayay! sAuR AwESomE!

i am...having So Much Fun! <3 xx

anyways, in case i croak, just wanted to pop in from the trenches to say a real quick, but quantifiably large and overtly resounding

THANK YOU to...

my rant park girls, ofc, for enduring my britney spears mentie bs in the chat, my psychosis and v obnoxious 'needs to be carried thru life' complaining/suffering on the reg ( i cried every single day for the past...almost week? because of how scared and sad i’ve been. ;-; )

anyone who sent me an in character/headcannon/plot question the past couple of days bc, other than the girlies, it was the only source of real joy and enrichment i have felt while being scared...for my life. thank...you. Seriously. like y'all still care abt my fic? wowza!! o/u/o

( regarding memes, soz, they might not super exciting, i’m only doing lil spef HC ones rn & got a lil hyperfixated on rae, so i am doing that one abt his height / fave fruit.

<333 my lovely emo fruit salad celebpretty boy. c: )

BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY OF ALL, i just wanted to say thank you to ANYONE WHO EXPRESSED CONCERN ABOUT MY WELL BEING OR SAID THEY MISSED ME OR WERE WORRIED ABOUT ME!!!!

'cause haha!!! you were NOT wrong, concern was not misplaced at all! I HATE THIS SCARY NIGHTMARE FUEL CHILDREN CONTAGION! :(

istg, my face has swollen up shrunken down, been every color, the pressure in my ears and nose and face is so bad that i feel like i am i an airplane rn....in my bedroom, every er dr. told me i had a sunburn and was an idiot, like actually king, i am green not red! get a real job!

siiiiiiiiigh...i just...:c i’ve never felt weaker, more miserable, more afraid, more UGLY and more lost in my entire life...

but i am grateful to have been found by readers and human beings as lovely as yourselves. i miss you. i love you. i'll try to be in touch as much as i can, but it will be touch and go, my body is a body bag rn :/

thank you for fighting the good fight, my darlings. whatever you are going through, KEEP FUCKING GOING. this is not the end. you are so much stronger than things that want to make you weak.

( i'm not very good at practicing what i preach, but ngl, kinda sick, literally, but i have basically been my own emergency makeshift whumpshot this past week and it has been gNARLY. like i have been...very scared. lmao. i am...still scared, but i'm gonna be okay. )

ANYWAYS ALL THIS TO SAY:

from what hurts or harms you,

past, present and future....

I HOPE YOU HEAL.

-sickfic body horror whumple nina <3

[brittanyyoungblog]

Songs About Jealousy: 60 Jealous Love Songs

Fear. Anger. Mistrust. Envy. Apprehension. It’s not one of the nicer sides of love, but jealousy is a part of it. When you’re with someone you care deeply about it can drive you a little crazy, have you doubting yourself and your relationship, and make you wonder What does this person even see in me? Is it any wonder there are so many songs about jealousy?

Whether you’re watching the one you love with someone else across a room full of faces, lusting after your best friend’s girl, or just wondering what you’d do if you were her man, there’s a jealous song that might not make you feel any better but maybe a little less alone. Check out the list below or listen to it on Spotify.

1. Jealous Bone, Patty Loveless And I know I’m gonna run you off, if I don’t learn to let you go. But ooh oh you make me lose control.

2. Jealousy, Natalie Merchant Is she the sort you’ve always thought, could make you what you’re not?

3. My Best Friend’s Girl, The Cars You’re always dancing down the street with your suede blue eye-eyes. And every new boy that you meet doesn’t know the real surprise.

4. Lounge Act, Nirvana I’ll arrest myself and wear a shield. I’ll go out of my way to prove I still smell her on you.

5. Hey Jealousy, Gin Blossoms The past is gone but something might be found to take its place… Hey jealousy.

6. Mr. Brightside, The Killers Jealousy, turning saints into the sea, swimming through sick lullabies, choking on your alibis.

7. No One Else, Weezer I want a girl who will laugh for no one else. When I’m away she puts her makeup on the shelf.

8. When It Was Me, Paula Oh, oh, and I’m not jealous, no, I’m not. Oh, oh, I just want everything she’s got.

9. Revenge, P!nk Featuring Eminem I’m daydreamin’, let me count the ways how I’ll get you or how I’ll make you pay.

10. You Can’t Do That, The Beatles I got something to say that might cause you pain. If I catch you talking to that boy again, I’m gonna let you down and leave you flat. Because I told you before, oh you can’t do that.

11. Every Breath You Take, The Police Oh can’t you see, you belong to me. How my poor heart breaks, with every breath you take.

12. When I Was Your Man, Bruno Mars Should have gave you all my hours when I had the chance. Take you to every party ’cause all you wanted to do was dance. Now my baby’s dancing but she’s dancing with another man.

13. You Belong with Me, Taylor Swift If you can see I’m the one who understands you. Been here all along so why can’t you see, you belong with me.

14. That’s Him Over There, Nina Simone I guess that you know what extremes I have gone to, to prove that I didn’t care. You were so anxious to meet the dream that I’ve hung onto. Well, that’s him, that’s my Jim, over there.

15. She’s Got You, Patsy Cline I’ve got your class ring that proved you cared. And it still looks the same as when you gave it, dear. The only thing different, the only thing new, I’ve got these little things, she’s got you.

16. Gallery, Mario Vazquez And girl you’re just way too fine. Gotta be treated as one of a kind. Girl use your mind. Don’t be just another dime.

17. Girl Crush, Little Big Town I want to taste her lips. Yeah, ’cause they taste like you.

18. Green is the Colour, Pink Floyd Envy is the bond between the hopeful and the damned.

19. Jealous Guy, John Lennon I’m sorry that I made you cry. Oh my I didn’t want to hurt you. I’m just a jealous guy.

20. Jessie’s Girl, Rick Springfield I feel so dirty when they start talking cute. I wanna tell her that I love her but the point is probably moot.

21. Satellite of Love, Lou Reed I’ve been told that you’ve been bold with Harry, Mark, and John. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday to Thursday. With Harry, Mark, and John.

22. Who Is He (And What Is He to You?), Bill Withers Now when I add the sum of you and me, I get confused when I keep coming up with three. You’re too much for one man, but not enough for two.

23. If I Lost You, Garbage There are times when I see you talking to other girls, I feel insecure. And every time I see you walking out, I wonder if you’re coming back to me.

24. Jealous (I Ain’t With It) So is it really my fault, I get a shiver when I see you with those other guys.

25. Jealous Again, The Black Crows Stop, understand me. I ain’t afraid of losing face. Stop, understand me. I ain’t afraid of ever losing faith in you.

26. Tell Her No, The Zombies And if she should tell you come closer, and if she tempts you with her charms, tell her no no no no no-no-no-no.

27. Ring the Alarm, Beyoncé Ring the alarm, I been through this too long, but I’ll be damned if I see another chick on your arm.

28. I (Who Have Nothing), Ben E. King I, I who have no one, must watch you go dancing by, wrapped in the arms of somebody else when, darling, it’s I who loves you.

29. Jealous Hearted Blues, Ma Rainey Going to buy me a bulldog, to watch him while I sleep. Just to keep my man from making his midnight creep. Yes I’m jealous, jealous. Jealous hearted me.

30. Jealousy, Queen Oh jealousy you tripped me up. Jealousy you brought me down. You bring me sorrow you cause me pain. Jealousy when will you let go?

31. Treat You Better, Shawn Mendes I won’t lie to you, I know he’s just not right for you.

32. The Jealous Kind, Joe Cocker It’s just that I’m so afraid someone might steal you away, I’d lose my mind. So please forgive me for the way I act sometimes. I’m the jealous kind.

33. I Want Your Girlfriend to Be My Girlfriend Too, Reel Big Fish There’s a little girl I know, you might know her too. She looks so good, she looks so cute, standin’ next to you. And I don’t know what to do.

34. Silver Springs, Fleetwood Mac Don’t say that she’s pretty, and did you say that she loved you. Baby I don’t want to know.

35. Jealous, Nick Jonas It’s not your fault that they hover, I mean no disrespect. It’s my right to be hellish. I still get jealous.

36. Before He Cheats, Carrie Underwood Right now, she’s probably up singing some white-trash version of Shania karaoke. Right now, she’s probably saying “I’m drunk” and he’s a-thinking that he’s gonna get lucky.

37. Jealous Lover, Rainbow Shades of red, eyes of green, sees black and white, and there’s no in between.

38. Forgive My Jealousy, Chuck Jackson Forgive this foolish fear that rages inside of me. Oh, I love you so much love has blinded me.

39. Beautiful Liar, Shakira and Beyoncé I walked in on your love scene, slow dancing. You stole everything, how can you say I did you wrong.

40. Pickup Truck, Kings of Leon And in the moonlight I throwed him down, a kicking, screaming, a rolling around. A little piece of a bloody tooth. Just so you know I was thinking of you.

41. Want U Back, Cher Lloyd Remember all the things that you and I did first? And now you’re doing them with her. Remember all the things that you and I did first? You got me, got me like this.

42. Bust Your Windows, Jazmine Sullivan I bust the windows out ya car and no it didn’t mend my broken heart.

43. You Oughta Know, Alanis Morissette Is she perverted like me? Would she go down on you in a theater? Does she speak eloquently? And would she have your baby? I’m sure she’d make a really excellent mother.

44. Girlfriend, Avril Lavigne She’s like so whatever. You could do so much better. I think we should get together now.

45. Dysentery Gary, Blink 182 Life just sucks, I lost the one. I’m giving up. She found someone. There’s plenty more. Girls are such a drag.

46. Jealousy, Spoon Jealousy, you have never done a thing for me.

47. Endlessly Jealous, Lou Reed Endlessly jealous of you, being endlessly jealous of me. The man that you thought I could be turning red with jealousy.

48. Jealousy, Iggy Pop I feel it comin’ it’s flushin’ my face. I feel it comin’ jealousy baby. I feel it comin’ boilin my blood . I feel it comin’ jealousy baby.

49. Jealousy, Billy Fury I loved you too well. For I doubted you in my heart. My life was hell every moment we were apart. Why did I make that big mistake? I wronged you right from the start.

50. False Accusations, Robert Cray I was so wrong. She’s gone tonight. I was so wrong. I can see her now. And jealousy had twisted me somehow.

51. Suspicious Minds, Elvis Presley We’re caught in a trap. I can’t walk out, because I love you too much, baby.

52. Dark Lady, Cher So I sneaked back and caught her with my man, laughing and kissing till they saw the gun in my hand. The next thing I knew they were dead on the floor. Dark lady would never turn a card up anymore.

53. I Wonder What She’s Doing Tonight, Tommy Boyce and Bobby Hart We were so close but we should’ve been closer and it’s making me feel so sad. But I tell myself I didn’t lose her ’cause you can’t lose a friend you never had.

54. Run for Your Life, The Beatles Well I’d rather see you dead, little girl, than to be with another man.

55. My Girl Bill, Jim Stafford Bill, you know we just left her place, and we both know what she said. She doesn’t want to see your face, and she wishes you were dead!

56. He Don’t Love You (Like I Love You), Tony Orlando and Dawn The handsome guy that you’ve been dating, whoa, I got a feelin’ he’s gonna put you down.

57. The Girl is Mine, Michael Jackson and Paul McCartney I don’t understand the way you think, saying that she’s yours not mine. Sending roses and your silly dreams, really just a waste of time.

58. No Reply, The Beatles I nearly died, I nearly died. ‘Cause you walked hand in hand with another man in my place.

59. Him or Me – What’s It Gonna Be, Paul Revere & The Raiders I can still recall when you told me I was all everything you looked for in a man. But I know that it’s not true, I’ve seen the way he looks at you, and I think you’re gonna hang me up again.

60. Jealous, Robert Palmer When I see you with that guy and he catches your pretty eye, yYou know it makes we want to die.

The post Songs About Jealousy: 60 Jealous Love Songs appeared first on The Date Mix.

from Meet Positives SMFeed 8 http://ift.tt/2Bekdt1 via IFTTT