#but I've already started my bullshit
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Did I just impulsively make another discord server? Yeah maybe.
I've made a book club server! I've started re-reading a list of books I've loved in the past and I want to talk to people about them, so if you've read any of the following books, are interested in them, or want to hear me talk about them, here's my current list: Deltora Quest, The Magic Thief, Ranger's Apprentice, The Paladin Prophecy, and Foundling. The list will absolutely expand, and feel free to recommend books :]
#I literally just made it so right now there's a grand total of me and one other person#plus two bots#but I've already started my bullshit#six paragraphs about the first book on my list#anyway tagging these so people can find this#deltora quest#the magic thief#ranger's apprentice#the paladin prophecy#foundling#monster blood tattoo
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i deserve to kill insurance companies actually.
#i've been fucking around with this for two weeks now and i want to die#why is it legal for an insurance provider i am paying to decline a medication that i've been on for years#why does a doctor have to fill out a special form to prove that i Really Need this medication. that's just what a prescription is for.#and also why is my doctor's office closed half the week and i can't get ahold of them and they don't call me back#i'm already rationing my meds like this is not sustainable#the real bullshit is that from what i can tell my provider won't even let me pay for it out of pocket. which i don't want to do but. still.#(it's a maintenance inhaler. i still have plenty of my rescue inhaler left so i'm not like. gonna die without it. but i will be very#uncomfortable and pissed off about it.)#part of this is my own fault because i knew switching insurance would cause some Bullshit when i try to get my meds refilled#so i should have started this earlier#but TWO WEEKS SHOULD BE ENOUGH#i just want to find out what i can do bc every day i call and they go “huh that's weird that it hasn't been approved yet. i'll look into it#and then they don't call me back#well uh. with med rationing i have enough to get me to Tuesday so i fucking hope someone actually figures out what's going on today#vent#personal
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MCFLY JULY ‘24 ⸺ 「 1 / 31 * MOUNTAIN DEW HAT MAN 」
November 12, 1955
“No, I can’t stay. I told Ronnie I’d be home after work to give him the news about whether or not Marty really existed or this was the longest-running prank in history. He’s been just as interested as we were ever since I brought it up.” Walter chuckles, scrawling his signature on the day’s log. “He’ll be happy to know he was right. Kept trying to convince me that he’d be there—you’ll see, Dad. Even had a little bet of our own going—”
“And you lost that one too.” Kenneth barks out a deep, rumbling laugh that very nearly shakes the foundations of the building.
“I still can’t believe it. How the hell could a seventy-year-old letter know the exact time, date, and location that some kid named Marty McFly would be standing there?”
“Beats me.” Kenneth smirks, mischief glimmering in his deep blue eyes, and Walter rolls his eyes, knowing exactly the turn the conversation is about to take. “Maybe he’s an alien. Or a time-traveller on a secret mission and this kid’s his partner.”
Time-traveller. Those two words wind themselves around every nerve and muscle, rooting themselves so deeply into his mind Walter isn’t sure he’ll ever get them out of his head.
It’s crazy talk. Just like everything that Marty kid said.
Kenneth quirks a brow when the normally quick retort is nowhere to be found.
“—Yeah, right. And I’m a mind-reader.” Walter stands, retrieving his still-damp hat and coat from the coatrack by the door. “You’re watching too much Science Fiction Theatre.”
“I don’t see you offering any better explanations. And we know from that state of that old thing and the letterhead of the instruction letter that this wasn’t a joke. Or if it was, it’s a damn good forgery. Think about it. You said the kid started talking crazy after you gave him the letter, didn’t you?” Kenneth’s voice deepens, holding an air of secrecy and conspiracy meant for their ears only. He steeples his fingers, both elbows now propped up on the desk as his thick brows pull together in intense concentration.
“He’s a teenager. They’re all talking crazy. Even Ronnie, sometimes.”
There’s a look on Kenneth’s face that says he doesn’t agree, but if he has any further thoughts on the matter, he keeps them to himself, offering little more than a shrug and a drawn-out sigh. “Suit yourself. Go on, get out of here. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. The whole office is going to be waiting to hear about this, you know. Tell Ronnie I said hi.”
“I will. By the way, you think you can try and find the name of whoever it was that left that letter here? The box said it came all the way from corporate; someone’s name is attached to it. There must be a record somewhere.”
“You want me to dig through seventy years’ worth of records to find something that might not even exist?”
“If anyone can—”
Kenneth rolls his eyes, resignation flickering across his face and sagging his shoulders. “God damn—fine. Don’t get your hopes up.”
“Thanks.” Kenneth mumbles something that Walter doesn’t catch as he puts his hat on and steps outside to his car, letting the night’s strange meeting play out on repeat in his mind for the twenty-minute drive home.
The living room lights are still switched on and the moment Walter opens the front door, Ronnie all but leaps up off the couch, nearly losing his glasses in the process. “So? Was he really there?” Walter chuckles at his son’s enthusiasm, having expected exactly this moment he stepped through those doors. Ronnie had been almost more excited about it than the boys in the office, eagerly anticipating the night of 12 November with the same fervour as he would his birthday.
“C’mon, Dad,” Ronnie demands to his father’s back as he removes and hangs up his coat for what, hopefully, is the final time tonight. “Did that Marty guy show up?” Did I win the bet?
“He did,” Walter finally answers, dropping down into the armchair with a groan. Ronnie’s eyes widen and before he can get even a single one of the multitude of questions untangled from the knot they’ve twisted themselves into on his tongue out, his father continues, seemingly having plucked the questions right out of his mind.
“Exactly like the instruction letter said he would. Right time, right description, right place—everything.” Kenneth’s words rattle around Walter’s mind again as Ronnie beams, shouting triumphantly to the tune of I told you! I knew it!
“What’d it say? You saw it, right? You gotta tell me everything.”
—
May 21, 1986
That's him again, Ronald muses at the increasingly familiar sound of the thud of what three prior incidents already have taught him is hands grabbing onto the back of his Jeep.
Ronald glances over his shoulder and just like the last several times, the kid nods his acknowledgement and appreciation for the ride yet never says a word. This is becoming a pattern now, always on weekdays if his memory serves him correctly, and if nothing else, he should at least know the name of the kid he’s been ferrying around throughout the town.
“You ever think about getting a car of your own? They’ve got some cheap ones I’m sure even a student can afford.” Young kid, backpack slung over his shoulders—must be a high school student. He blinks, pulling the headphones off his ears. “You keep this up I’m going to start charging you for the ride.”
The kid throws him a winning smile. “Nah, I’ve got a car.” Ronald scrunches his brows together, wondering just what the hell the kid is doing grabbing onto the backs of cars and doing something so dangerous when he’s got a car of his own to get him around. If it were broken, maybe in the shop—
But this isn’t the first time.
“Did you ever—?” He eases into a left turn and behind him, the kid leans into it, unfazed. Ronald quirks a brow, waiting for him to finish whatever question he’d started, but he never does, continuing on as if the question had never been a thought in his mind. “Driving’s great, but sometimes I just—it’s not the same as putting on headphones and feeling the wind on my face as I’m skateboarding, you know? Helps me think.”
The kid almost looks surprised when he answers, “Yeah, I think I do,” and Ronald smiles at that.
“Oh—we’re almost at my stop. Hey, thanks. For, uh, not trying to shake me off or call the cops or something.”
He slows the car down as the driver ahead of him attempts to turn off onto a side street. “Before you go—what’s your name, kid?”
He hits the car twice with his hand before kicking off, shouting “It’s Marty! Marty McFly!”
#welp since mountain dew hat man has no actual established lore i said i can do what i want#i have a permit for that y'know i'll gladly show it to you#he's now the son of the western union guy from pt2#ronald (ron/ronnie) hensick and his father walter#looks like the green text is the colour flavour for this writing challenge#mcflyjuly#mcfly july 2024#&; we write to taste life twice 「 drabble 」#&; i told queue it would work!#i've already started off on my bullshit - no i'm not proofing this once again all this month i die like doc#i say now until i realise i've made horrible mistakes and it's too late to fix it#ah well#rip
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*wheeze* slowly, but surely, working on art of them all
#bg3#myart#wip#I want to make every tav/companion pairing I have a dedicated. fancy piece.#these started with a concept for a wyll drawing that was very...storybook! inspired.#I would have been done all the linework for these two pieces by now had my weekend gone better :/#I was violently unwell for...about a week and a half? chronic illness bullshit. had started to feel better friday of last week...#...unfortunately fate had it that the weekend ended up being particularly stressful. so the pain returned anew.#it was. somewhat better today. but still not enough for me to really be productive in my free time :(#I will try to complete the linework tomorrow if all goes well. I really would like to start colouring them!#I have delightful colour schemes chosen...#gale/illamin piece has already been sketched in a notebook. once I finish these two- I will begin lining theirs!#illamin's connects to cadence's because they're intertwined like that. but I have yet to finish planning out cadence's piece.#I've gone back and forth on who I should romance with him...the thing with any of the companions is that they are all written to be-#-immensely compatible with each other. so writing a tav FOR a specific companion is a bit hard. often the tav could fit with any of them.#hell. I'm STILL working out details of jantar and corydalis' story & characters. because I can't be normal about this.#that aside- I DO have other. finished pieces...finally.#well. I had some long before... but I didn't want to post them because I wasn't happy with them.#so I went and finished new stuff that I DO like.#4. technically 5 drawings. all horror/horror adjacent in theme.#my extremely detailed hux painting is also NEARLY done. after months upon months of work.#and I continue to slowly chip away at the big scifi themed dbd piece I've had in progress.#I really never run out of things to draw and it's a bit torturous because I never have the time or energy to draw everything...
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I think we should bring back basic etiquette lessons such as shutting the fuck up when you’re watching a movie in a group that is not exclusively your friend group 🙂
#welcome to another Mick Airs Out Their Grievances and by god is it a VERY long one#prob best if u don't expand the tags#am I being maybe a bit meaner about this than I would be for any other movie? maybe but pac rim is one of my favorite movies of all time#so I think I get a pass on this one.#one of the groups on campus is hosting movie nights & I went to this one bc I've only ever watched pac rim on my laptop and wanted to watch#it on a larger screen. yay yippee I love this movie!#there r maybe 10-ish of us in this room and a three person friend group is sitting on the couch one of whom has seen the movie and two who#have not. okay so far so normal.#and then the movie starts and they won't! stop! fucking! commentating! the whole fucking movie!!! I don't have a problem with doing that#when I'm in just my friend group because I know that I can tell my friend to stop talking or pause the movie or whatnot but not when I'm in#a large group w people I'm not good friends with ffs#and the comments aren't even funny or anything they're all oh this is JUST like in iron widow!! oh they're SO gay and autistic!!! and#they're talking so loud about this that it completely drowns out the movie audio which has already been turned up a few times#like. be considerate!! some of us want to yknow actually listen to what's going on and not whatever bullshit you're saying#I nearly walked out three or four times before I actually wound up doing so#I may have been a bit of a bitch at the end but I don't care. I got up to leave because this was not an enjoyable environment and one of#them offered to turn the movie down if it was too loud. this caught me a bit off guard since I expected them to still be so wrapped up in#their convo and. well. I may have said 'it's not the movie that's too loud' before closing the door#this also reminds me a lot about my issues with online shipping culture and it bleeding through into how we interact with media irl#this is probably heavily influenced by my aromanticism but I'm so sick of people constantly reading romantic relationships into everything#AND placing more importance on those relationships than any other form. I don't mind romance in media. I think if done right it has great#emotional impact on a story but when a movie is running and when other people who may not want to hear it are in the room watching it too#is not the time to be loudly saying 'he's autistic!' 'they're in love!' 'she has a crush on him!'#I have my own interpretations of the movie some of which agree with what they said and some of which don't but that's beside the point of#knowing how to coexist politely in public#anyway. I think they were awful and annoying and they ruined my night out.#I think I'm just so incredibly mad about this because I love the movie and I was looking forward to watching it in a group of people who#found it cool as well while still having some modicum of politeness#I almost wish I had been meaner but that's the extreme annoyance talking I think#hater hour over love u guys bye
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I wait for the next school break (Christmas), since a Girl started to make drama to the principal becaise of me i hate school. I hope i will survive this 2 months XD
#school#school system#sad thoughts#sad boy#gender is bullshit#this is bullshit#my core#i hate it here#school is killing me#school issues#school is hell#fucking shit#personal bullshit#belly ache#anxienty#tumblr polls#hopefully#news#cross my heart#homework#depressing shit#high school#studyblr#like 😭😭😭#help 😭#😭#i just 😭😭😭😭#🩸.txt#( 🩸 ) — ❝ and i've already started there ain't no saving your heart ❞ ; nsft#🥀.txt
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Love to torment my sister's do-nothing boyfriend. easiest method is simply doing things to reinforce his belief that my cat is actually my familiar (he is genuinely superstitious to this degree). this is easy for me because my cat is very responsive and easily trained. our recent accomplishment? she is meowing and i say "Cashmere, inside voices" and she pauses and then takes up meowing again...but quieter. Saw my sister's boyfriend struggling really hard not to immediately "call me out" in front of my sister.
#my sister is tired of her boyfriend trying to 'prove' that i'm capable of using magic to curse him#also it's not really a cute fun little 'teehee i'll trick him into thinking i can do magic and have a cool cat familiar'#and more I actively hate this guy#and he truly believes that you can't train cats to do anything beyond using a litterbox#he's also one of those guys who watches sketchy documentaries and weird podcasts and believes weird conspiracy shit#and also like just random stupid shit#the dumbest i've heard so far is that if you have glasses you should stop wearing them#so that your eyes can 'fix themselves'#not sure if there's like some alternative homeopathic bullshit he thinks you should do on top of that#but yeah my astigmatism is not gonna correct itself if i stop wearing my glasses dumbass#there's more but i think you get what i'm working with#all i need to do is teach my cat some simple tricks like 'lower your volume on my signal' and 'go where i point'#and he will start quietly (my sister will not be amused if he brings this up again) flipping his shit#like i'm lucky my cat is really responsive and trainable too. i've taught my cats simple tricks in the past#but i'm more motivated now that i have a purpose for it (riling up my sister's shitty boyfriend)#he just gets so frustrated because he wants to call me out so bad + he knows i'm 'being obvious' on purpose because no one will believe him#and it's true. he'll sound crazy if he tries to convince anyone i'm an actual witch–sorry tumblr witches but i do not believe in witchcraft#and i like to emphasize this by openly saying things to my sister like#'haha almost slept in this morning because Cashmere turned off my alarm so we could cuddle longer'#i previously explained to my sister that she figured out that if she smacks the thing making noise it will stop#so these statements are traps. if he brings up the familiar/witch shit my sister will chew him out#because she already got the 'haha my cat smacks my noisy phone to make it stop' explanation#so him saying 'obviously this is black magic' is not gonna go well for him
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i'm going to explode im going to explode im going to explode
#my post#successfully didn't cry on my zoom call with my advisors for my senior project for little clear reason other than general stress#like i know that the reason why you have to do a big mostly independent project is so that you get good at handling them but aaaaaaaaaaaaaa#nothing's happened. im already behind. i should try to get ahead? my timeline kinda sucks. I haven't started the literature review.#i know my want of having a project that's like... fun. was impossible but. hell on earth (has barely even started)#i'm starting to think more and more i'm not actually cut out for science. maybe i just like science communication lmao.#i know that's an overreaction but my work ethic is fucking shit for the fact i've been an honors student since... what like 1st grade?#i like learning i just hate the work that's supposed to come with it. i want my cake and i want to eat it too.#so the idea of fucking self monitoring my work. i'll probably be fine but i have to pre-emptively freak out and cry about it so.#guess if we get the crying about it done now then i'll have more time in my schedule for the insane bullshit I will be pulling later.#a normal semester (the heavier semester of the senior project and research again probably#and being the lead undergrad TA for one of the most insane classes i've heard of (it's 4 credits in a quarter) and 3 classes#(tho one is a freebie and the other shouldn't be Too much. the last one probably Will be a lot.)#time to go slam more video essays into my brain i suppose
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hey remember when i left those tags on that post?
i still don’t want to talk about what the work of fiction is but i legit just got reminded today that while it’s been like over 15 years that i did want to check this thing, the character that “caught my interest like 7 years ago” actually caught my interest 12 years ago. As in, there was a specific moment in time when i wanted to get into it because i learnt about the character in question.
i’ve been in hysterics for the past ten minutes because i’m realizing it’s been over a decade that once in a while i had humored starting this thing, and that while it definitely started out of another place, it’s been 12 years that steadily it was because this character was standing out to me enough that i wanted to get into it, but then forgot all about it, and now i’m out there actually getting into it after a *dream that came out of nowhere about this chara popping up while i haven’t thought of them in years* and i’m just.
bestfriendo is making fun of me because “this is the most slowburn in all of history of fav characters” and i’m screaming into my hands, imagine considering getting into something for OVER A DECADE while constantly one character keeps standing out for you and eventually you just get a dream out of nowhere of this chara like a sudden “hey. I’ve been sending you messages about it for the past decade why the fuck are you leaving me on read” and now you’re not only forced to pay attention but also forced to realize YOU COULD HAVE STARTED ALL OF THAT OVER TEN YEARS AGO i’m feeling so unwell.
#like yes the chara is absolutely my type in general and it's like. the least surprising thing ever#when i started to get obsessed i thought 'i'll make a playlist in time but for now i'll listen to a playlist of another chara i love'#only to realize upon listening to it that 90% of the songs of this playlist fit the new fav#so you can imagine already how frustrated i am about all of this#and still currently i'm meddling with a lot of content where the chara in question doesn't appear#like i've seen a few of their content and i didn't even like everything i've seen so far (but what i liked i REALLY liked)#imagine all of that bullshit and i don't even like the character in the end??? imagine that would happen???#that's also one of the reason i don't want to talk about it on main until i know for certain how i feel about it#but honestly the other reason is that it's just a little too wild for me right now#if i actually do like this character this would indeed be a fucking catastrophe for me because of this history#i'm having the worst of moments ever talk about a character refusing to leave you alone without even knowing that much about them???????#if i end up discovering there were other incidents of 'yeah this chara got my interest' preceeding the 12years old incident i quit#im done. this would be the worst thing ever what the hell is happenign to me.#ichatalks#Mystery Blorbo
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fngfdjngjdfkng
#bro fucking stupid like why did i just not look at applying to masters until now#i'm so dumb like ig it was bc i ws just like i'm not gonna do masters im just gonna try to get a job#which like how the fuck am i supposed to do that lmao but#now i dont think i can even apply for masters at my school at least#bc i need fucking letters of rec and the deadline is the 15th#and i Barely have 2 ppl i would ask for letter of rec idek if the second one counts lmfao if she's not at my school#jfc im so why do i have to think about the future :c i just wanna do glowstick club things that's why i haven't been thinkign abt this lmfa#yeah so now i dont think i can do masters here :c which also means i dont have that as a reason to hang around and stay in glowstick clublo#i could still do that but#ugh whatever im trying to write a fucking cover letter rn for a job i hate this already i've barely done anything lmfao#i dont super understand the job description which is maybe a sign i shouldnt apply lmfao but it's like#data science w my year and i feel like i meet some of the qualifications so#just gotta somehow bullshit another paragraph of this cover letter together#i also dont even know if i actualy wanna fucking do a data analyst job like#i kinda wanna work for like a non profit or smaller org kinda thing all this shit sounds hella boring that i keep seeing for bigger#companies lmao which im not saying would no be the case for smaller but#idk i jsigsdfhjlbgpidwurhgbipwdhgfudjshlk why did i start this so late LMAO#i had a job opening that i was gonna apply for that looked pretty good and i felt pretty qualified for just based on the listing#and the deadline was the 15th but it fucking disappeared the job isnt there anymore ig im so sad lmfao#as;lkfngbjifbgqipurgipqhrgfipuaf i hate this :DDDDDD#jeanne talks
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Had to order a new copy of Prisoner of Azkaban this week for work (normally I wouldn’t put any more money in her pocket, obviously, but we are a library serving middle schoolers and the copy I was replacing had literally detached from its binding) and I forgot that the summary is all “Sirius Black, most notorious prisoner in all of Azkaban, Voldemort’s heir apparent, murdered twelve people” and I was so shook because I forgot that’s how he is introduced and you don’t get the full picture of the Marauders until like? book six?
Anyway I was so overcome for a minute that I almost tried to engage one of my coworkers in conversation about how many emotions the marauders plot line gives me. That’s how distracted I was. I almost WENT TO ANOTHER ROOM to FIND MY COWORKER and try to discuss the fact that REMUS AND SIRIUS WERE IN LOVE.
#hp#wolfstar#marauders#I am back on my marauder's bullshit y'all and it is A Lot#I've even started reading wolfstar fic again#someone stop me#anyway I maintain that the marauders backstory is the most tragic part of the series#I don't think that she realized how tragic it was when she was writing it I think it was mostly cobbled together to fill plot needs#like 'oh shit well someone besides sirius needs to have betrayed them so *rolls dice* it was peter'#not 'what would possess someone to turn against his best friends of almost ten years who he had already broken multiple laws with/for'#ANYWAY#if they ever try to make a marauders backstory movie I Will Riot bc I don't think there's any way to explain it#like it's better and sadder if we just don't know the full story of what happens#I'll still be crying for remus though#can you believe I almost said this to one of my coworkers#at the CATHOLIC SCHOOL i work at#yikes @ me#(also I want everyone to know that I tried to find a used copy just to avoid giving that terf any more money)#(but I couldn't actually justify buying a used copy bc the new copy was only $6)#(and none of the good used copies were cheaper than $6)
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As we're getting closer to the release date for SM(F)S (6 days and change!!!) I wanted to give ya'll a heads up that I will be insufferable about this album and FOB in general on main so if you don't want to see me screaming about lyrics, and PeteandPatrick, and the album, you can blacklist the tags #back on my fob bullshit and #not hockey
#i've already started yelling because i'm so excited for this album!!! and the tour!!#it's going to be so good#not hockey#back on my fob bullshit
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Conversation
Russian gov: *Is bad and horrible and does horrible things*
Russian people: Please, do not think we are the same as our government, we do not agree with them and they do not represent us!
tumblr: Yeah guys, countries aren't monoliths.
Chinese Gov: *Covered up Covid for so long until it became an international health crisis*
Chinese People: Don't blame us for the actions of our government.
tumblr: Yeah guys, citizens aren't responsible for the bad thing their governments do.
Immigrants: Hey, we come from x country, but that doesn't mean we're the same as everyone from that country.
tumblr: Yeah don't be xenophobic guys! You shouldn't judge someone based solely on their country of origin.
British People: We know we have a bad history with imperialism, but we're taking steps to distance ourselves from it.
tumblr: *Some stupid and harmless joke about British accents with at least one "innit" present*
Anyone with literally any relation to France: Hi, I-...
tumblr: We literally need to nuke France, like unironically.
#I've lived my whole life as a 2nd generation citizen in the southern US#which was already hard enough on its own#but let me tell you#all the anti french jokes I heard growing up#people physically assaulting me over it#people telling me that the nazis should have killed my grandma#being the butt of everyone's jokes all the time#then here online where I started to feel safe about it#only to see so many people joking about wanting to kill all French people#meanwhile British imperialism is treated more as a joke#and Spanish imperialism is mostly ignored#literally some of the shit you people say is ptsd triggering to me#but it's funny that I'm hurting because my grandma was born in France#I can't even look up France or French to try and find stuff that relates to my culture#because all you shitheads are in there making literal threats of violence#I can't participate in my own heritage#my great grandpa was a French Resistance leader in WWII#and my great uncle was one of the people directly responsible for D-Day happening#but people tell me that their contribution didn't matter#I am so sick and fucking tired of this bullshit
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DAY 9
(╯°□°)╯ MOUNTAINS
Still looks like a bouquet of dicks to me. I can't win. Oh well, MOVING ON, next we're doing the foreground :D ...of the background...
#the great artscapade of 2023#art#my art#legend of mana fanart#elazul#princess pearl#lake kilma#my roommate blackmailed me into watching Witch From Mercury with him#and by blackmailed I mean gave me the :D :D :D excited puppy look#it's super effective#I'd already seen the prologue and we only had time for the first proper episode before I started my art for the night#and y'all#I am DELIGHTED by how anime bullshit it is :D#and I'm even more excited to see the emotional whiplash this series is going to give me :3#I know nothing of details I just know my roommate said ''it gets dark''#''like it makes Victory Gundam look like a trip to the beach''#''it's darker than CHAINSAW MAN and that's a horror anime!''#bestie I've seen neither this tells me nothing#but I am definitely excite :D
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.
#tag talk#I really do love customer service. I like working with people and I like helping people#and there's a specific interaction that I got today that I especially love#where I'll talk to a customer over the phone about an issue and then they come in to the store later#and they'll start explaining the issue and I'm like wait you're [cx name] right? and they're like yeah!#and I'll be like sick. I talked to you over the phone I've got your info already pulled up and here's the solution.#and it feels so nice to be able to work with someone from start to finish#I think I understand the jealousy of a god. if I'm working with a customer I don't want them going to another associate.#if they need something I want to be the one to go get it#anyway I like retail except for the corporate bullshit.#the best part of work for me is the customers. so honestly I feel pretty lucky to know what I love about my job#and it's something that'll always be in demand because it feels like so few people are really genuinely great at customer service#I lowkey love being the second person a customer deals with because I get the validation of the customer saying how much better I am
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Guess what, I've worked what probably amounts to half of my total hours, in one fucking month. My store is resting on my shoulders, it seems, and boy do I feel that. I have not had a moment's rest since my vacation, and uh, it's probably not sustainable? Maybe?
Anyway. Guess who's going to be travelling for hours on end and then arrive just a day before a mandatory University lecture? It's me!
#text_loke#i'm also curious what my boss is going to say when he gets back. and looks at my nightmare hours#because uh. i've worked. wayyyy too much these last few months#and i am. halfway. tempted to make a little bit of a racket to the higher ups to argue my way for a higher percentage position#because i have not worked 20% in a WHILE. gimme my 40% because i for damn sure have earned it#i also. somehow. need to squeeze in the time to read the books for my Masters. because uh. i'm also doing that#can you tell i'm living by a thread rn? my sister legit just moved out yesterday and i have NOT had time to process that#i still don't have time! i won't have time!#so i shall grin and bear it as i always do!#ahjshdd legit tho. yesterday i had barely had anything to eat due to my schedule being PACKED#i woke up after five hours of sleep finished the postbox for my sister RAN out the door for Uni at 11. and when done at Uni went work#my coworker thought me insane yesterday for bouncing on my feet with barely any food in my body. or sleep#however. it's just how i am. i can just. grin and go on with my day and function when my body is Barely Responding#i will just. not be quite intelligent because my brain is Slow#also. i was NOT happy being one hour extra at work today. like it WAS worth it and i did it freely#but also i wanted to go home. but. closing shift needed my help and i had to make sure everything was ok before i left#however. i have. so much bullshit i must do tomorrow. fuck#anyway. if y'all are curious as to where i've been these last few months. my answer is dying (work and uni). i am perished#i have barely any time for myself anymore. i'm not mad about it or anything. not even like. burnt out (knock on wood)#however. i do feel the toll. i do wish i could just. do fun things again. hopefully when uni properly starts and i go to my ACTUAL CONTRACT#i can then finally relax. right now however. not so much#hopefully they won't need me next week tho. because i cannot. at all#anyway. if i didn't already know i was a workaholic i sure do now!
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