#but I'm so often reminded that I'm not
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It's fanfiction it doesn't have to be perfect it doesn't have to be accurate this is a hobby you're doing this for fun it's okay if it isn't perfect and polished you're doing it for fun [talking to myself in the mirror]
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sometimes I want to post stuff I've written while in the feels but I also worry about clogging the blog with irrelevant stuff
I guess I'll rant in the tags but sometimes I try to do therapeutic writing and it helps but s i g h
#sehtoast rambles#I just... I had a really good day. a really fucking good past 24 hours. but someone had to say something#something fucked and rude and something that they'd be *hurt* if someone said to them#but because it was me. because it was to a trans person who they know is insecure about said topic... it was just fine#it's always okay for people to remind us of what we lack. but if we did it back... there'd be true hell to pay#idk i just feel like dog water now. always just the most insane pain that nothing I do or become will ever be enough#that I will be alone for choosing peace#and every fucking day. somehow some way someone throws it all in my face#I just want to feel like I'm worthy of anything#but I'm so often reminded that I'm not#all i wanted was to know I made someone I care about happy#I don't even fucking want anything in return. but it was nice to think for a second the interest might have been mutual.#for even a fuckin fraction of a second#then someone completely uninvolved reminded me that I lack and the person I care for won't look past that.#and I know objectively... those aren't the person I care for's words#but it still hurts to know my happiness needed to be shot down simply because I chose to find peace with my vessel#and I should be reminded at every opportunity that my peace is nothing so long as someone can find a laugh at the expense of it#and remind me that I will never be enough
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Micah-10 & Mihaylova
#destiny 2#destiny 2 art#destiny the game#micah 10#mihaylova#i cannot get over bungie just being like 'hey here's the coolest character ever' and we get to hear her voice whenever we want????#me just doing loads of overthrows so i can listen to her speak <3#ANYWAYS hi i love her i'm sorry i don't post here often enough#juggling socmed hard#thank u mads for reminding me to post her here <333#destiny.#i need a better tag for my work lol#9R.
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Taking the current topic as an excuse to ask you to tell me all the reasons you love Rarijack. Your art for the ship is so sweet and intimate I'd love to hear any in depth thoughts you have.
Breathes in.
I think what makes their dynamic really strong is that they have opposing personalities but aligned values. It's deeper than just "opposites attract." Rarity's fancy, prissy, and femme while Applejack's modest, rough, and "masculine." But both value hard work (to the point of being workaholics), their families (both have guardianship over their little sisters), running successful businesses, and eventually each other. Their relationship can be boiled down to, "Despite our differences/disagreements, I still like you because we value the same things."
We see their relationship develop so much. In the first season, they can't stop bickering about surface-level differences. By season four, they still bicker, but will mend their relationship because they can't help but do nice things for each other. In Trade Ya, they start off arguing over personality differences (Applejack likes old junk and Rarity likes useless crap). Then they pivot and start arguing that they value their relationship more than the other. In the end, they mend things by sacrificing their needs and buying each other a gift. Even if they don't understand it, they know it'd make the other happy. And that's all that really matters. It's a genuinely sweet moment that shows how arguing can be healthy and necessary for relationships to strengthen.
We even see them dropping their hang-ups about each others' personalities. In Made in Manehattan, when Rarity runs off in dramatics about someone's fashion, AJ doesn't roll her eyes or scoff, she smiles. Oftentimes, their conflicts are very common domestic conflicts romantic couples face. Applejack's Day Off is about a woman's inability to balance work and life and find time to properly spend with her partner, causing her partner to feel neglected.
By season seven, they're actively participating in each others' interests. Any problems or conflicts that arise are dealt with, and they come out the other end stronger and closer. In Honest Apple, AJ pretty much spells out why their relationship works so well: even though she doesn't understand fashion, she can recognize and appreciate how much work it takes and wants to respect that. When she realizes her mistake in the episode, AJ goes above and beyond to fix things and apologize to Rarity. They care about each other so much.
The two go out of their way, sacrificing their personal desires and beliefs and doing things they normally wouldn't, to make the other happy. That's just love.
There's Simple Ways, where AJ gets stuck in an unwanted love triangle between Rarity and her hipster crush. And her frustration and anger can be so easily interpreted as AJ finding herself in a terrible position; the girl she loves wants another man, and that man wants her.
I dunno. I've always had a preference for opposites attract ships, but Rarijack's stuck with me like a brain worm because they have the perfect chemistry. The way they show they care, or do things for each other, I've always read it as the truest representation of romance in the show.
#rarijack#i refuse to be embarrased by how much i know about this damn pony show#this is part of the reason why i never bought into appledash unfortunately. their values aren't aligned#rd lies a lot and often for very self serving reasons#and she distances herself from her family because they're. cringe? overbearing? her parents are very loving and supportive#meanwhile aj's. whole fucking thing. is honesty and family#ask me#anon#this is why it's still a little baffling they aren't canon#we got SO much real development with so much potential subtext#and it never really crossed the finish line#i dunno every time they do something to show they care i'm reminded of myself and my partner too#whenever i see something that's inconvenient or complicated or against my personality (adhd haver) but i know it'd make my#boyfriend happy. i do it anyways. and i always think to myself “wow. that's what love is. that's what it feels like”
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i burned the bridges thoroughly but still everyone's trusting me again and i should be relieved but it happened so suddenly (and i know in my heart i haven't earned this, but everyone acts like my concern isn't a problem like nothing is wrong with my very involvement)
but i know how the song ends (x)
#i've forgotten far too often why i even recognize these faces / that don't have names placed with them / inside my hazy brain /#but then / there's too much to begin to touch on here#SASASAP ASS LYRICS. this whole song could be a siffrin (of any flavour) postcanon song should you quietly ignore the chorus#miraloop#in stars and time#in stars and time spoilers#isat#isat spoilers#isat loop#isat mirabelle#isat fanart#lucabyteart#this drawing has been sat in my wips for like 2 weeks+ which is unusual for me. finished it up for the miraloop qpr people since they seem#to be popping off recently. all that aside. HOMESTUCK BEYOND CANON BLAST. BE REMINDED HOW BANGIN THIS ALBUM IS.#this is what the loop GUILT facial expression doodle page was for btw . trying to figure this out. the original caption was gonna be more#along the lines of 'I hate that I'm so cruel. i hate being this way' but it was much too blunt. but secrets live in the tags so
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can i just say. and this is probably a niche hill to die on. that i am so gobsmacked every time someone vaguely hints at the idea that jotaro doesn't care meaningfully for the other crusaders, usually particularly kakyoin and joseph, when those two actually tend to be the ones he reacts to being hurt the hardest
like he cares for his loved ones!!!! that literally plays into his character motives in every single part he shows up in!!! stop lying to me!!!!!!!
#me.txt#jjba#i'm going to ramble in tags actually. excuse me#ok. rereading sdc and so confused at the general perception of jotaro and his friends/family. he's not NEARLY as flat or as dickish#i understand that the anime (particularly the dub) tends to slander him but even then he still clearly cares for them! i'm confused#i also understand that a lot of people dig against jotaro and kakyoin as a dynamic because 'they're popular' and that generally disliking#popular things across media is a thing that i've seen consistently everywhere but the discredit to them simply as a DUO and not even as a#pairing is so..... odd..... like they're considered to be a duo that clicks for a reason. i enjoyed them even before i got into the fandom#every time i see someone say jotaro is overrated/dull i take a shot and assume they're an anime-only or only read the manga like once btw#joseph and jotaro also have a neat dynamic and they obviously both love and care for each other. like they're not going to go around loudly#or anything but literally the entirety of the lovers and the prelude to the dio fight IS jotaro being worked up over joseph getting hurt#equally i don't know if it translates to the anime as much but joseph is VERY complimentary when it comes to jotaro. like he sings his#praises so often and reminds everyone that he's his grandson so frequently (d'arby the gamer is a good example of this). either way it's so#peculiar....... there's not enough avdol and jotaro content btw (also in canon) because jotaro obviously looks up to him and avdol jokes#around with him on the occasion they interact after their intro which doesn't start very well. it's very cute#i do think an important thing to note about jotaro's character is how he acts AFTER his intro because he's so drastically different. early#jotaro and later jotaro aren't the same character and i do not mean this in a character development way. excluding the jail incident he's#completely different and probably shouldn't really be taken into account (especially considering the amount of slapstick in araki's intros)#and i think that's really???? what people center on for his character? Which sucks balls bad!#anyways. i could ramble more about this if asked i have so much to say but sigh. jotaro cares so much for his friends and family he's not a#flat fully cold asshole character regardless of whether you watch the anime or ova or read the manga. you just have poor media literacy#i wouldn't recommend watching solely the anime for his character though. the dub also changes a lot so it's... questionable#i love the anime and it's still important for him though. also adds neat stuff. i need to stop myself. i have many thoughts on the matter#jotaro kujo#joseph joestar#noriaki kakyoin#adding in case anyone sees: i am not saying that he is perfect about this. in fact he is very ass about it with jolyne and holly and that's#very important. he also is in fact an asshole sometimes. NOT as much as you guys are making him though!#please don't get me started on how much of a dick etc people make kakyoin to veer away from the 'woobified' characterizations of him#in fact i think that's bad if not worse because it CLAIMS to be in character. hes a prim asshole at times but not that angry or dishevelled
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thinking about how mulder loves to get scully a gift, usually terribly heartfelt, even if disguised as something flippant:
the superbowl vhs tape he brings her when she wakes up from her coma in one breath (and her deadpan "i knew there was a reason to live")
tickets for a football game to watch together in irresistible
bringing her flowers to the hospital in memento mori (he lies, saying he stole them from a guy with broken legs to make her laugh)
the birthday keychain in tempus fugit (and when she finds a meaning to it, he claims "i just thought it was a pretty cool keychain")
that is a man who is always thinking about her.
#you can just picture him at the store thinking “oh boy she's gonna love this :)”#i think the superbowl vhs one chokes me up the most because he's trying so hard to play it cool when he had just lost her#and he needs to break the ice somehow because he hates to put those big feelings into words#he's more into saying what he means with touch and subtext#it's as if he needed SOMETHING off of the shelf at the store to say “i'm glad you're back. i missed you. i hope you're well”#so he goes with a dumbass VHS she is never going to watch. just to see her recognize his coded declaration of love.#and that exhausted smile she reserves for his antics#and it makes me tear up! still! thinking about it!#i know love languages are problematic but i do think there is something underrated about giving gifts as an act of love#of having your thoughts for someone being represented with a physical object. making that love tangible. you can touch it.#(it works very well on me because i tend to assume if you're out of sight you're not thinking about me)#(so looking at a little trinket someone gave me is like oh!!! they actually are thinking about me often. enough to find this Thing)#anyway. that is my emotional ramble for the evening. please enjoy#AND DISCLAIMER: i am sure there are other examples of him giving gifts i forgot and that there are more yet to come#but as a reminder i have only seen up to s5 ep 3 so! pls no spoilers even if i do tag this for the general public#okay promise? promise no spoilers in the tags? thank youuuuu mwah#the x files#txf#msr#fox mulder
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every time i rewatch ATLA i am so charmed by how many times an episode ends and the Message of the Day seems to be shit like "remember, kids: stealing is okay" or "lying is bad unless you're really good at it"
#whenever i look back on the show i'm also always like that main cast are the best of friends...#their friendship is so real....they all care about each other so much...🥺😭😭#and i have to be reminded every rewatch how often they are just COMPLETE DICKS to each other especially in season 1#except for Katara's iconic 'too bad you can't SEE THEM TOPH!!!' moment. i can never forget that
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with kisses like these, who needs magnesium?
#disco elysium#disco elysium fanart#disco elysium skills#de skills#de volition#de electrochemistry#skillship#skillshipping#volition#electrochemistry#volistry#voliart#GET LOVED. IDIOT!! GET KISSED!! comic ive been procrastinating on the last panel on and got it all done tonight hkjg#i love the morale counter telling on volition. i use this so fucking often in my fics hkgh volition voice ''Of course I'm not sad.''#[DAMAGED MORALE -1] echem voice ''mmhm right. anyway do you want me to hug you and remind you of good things about the world?''#things i think about often. kisses for volition. and making him lose his cool. luckily! these things often go hand in hand!! :]#ough. my idiot knight guy who i cherish. and echem my lovely silly guy!! i love drawing him smug#i feel like i was supposed to say something in the tags but i!! forgot!! so oh well!! peace out gang
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I don't see this talked about often in the english side of the fandom, as this tidbit got lost in translation, but:
In the japanese versions for both texts and voice lines in the middle-aged opposites venet, kabu addresses larry with "—kun (くん)" in their second meeting in front of the restaurant. It's a japanese honorific to address someone who is a junior than you, in terms of either age or work experience/status. Inferring from this, kabu may either (1) be slightly older than larry in age (as I think they both have equal years of experience, just that larry happened be slightly superior to kabu in terms of their workplace status because he is also an elite four member), (2) be that friendly and warm as a person that he calls larry with "—kun (くん)" right away in the second part of their event's story, or (3) both.
Take what you will from this, friends! 🫡
#you guys don't know that i'm still STUCK thinking about this long after the event is gone. i'm still freezing when my mind reminds me every#so often that the first thing we hear from the japanese trailer is kazuhiko inoue yelling アオキくん like... oh they're besties already? 😭💖#i wish honorifics and the way a person refers to themselves don't get lost in translation. it actually adds so much depth to the characters#my n5 jlpt ass is already in heaven even with my limited understanding 😭😭😭 one day i will play pokemon games in jp fluently!!!!#anyway yeah. kabu looked at larry and went 'you're my friend now!' even though they don't have to be buddy-buddy for this event :')#and the fact that larry tolerates it (when he's probably addressed with —san all the time) and even grows to enjoy kabu's presence... 🥺#pokemas yaoi is so big-brained. i hope whoever wrote the middle-aged opposites events got a huge raise due to its popularity!!!!#gym leader kabu#elite four larry#gym leader larry#pokemon kabu#pokemon larry#pokemon masters ex#pmex#pokemon masters#pokemas#pokemas spoilers#pmex spoilers#pokemon masters ex spoilers#pokemon masters spoilers#pokemon sword and shield#pokemon swsh#swsh#pokemon scarlet and violet#pokemon scarvio#scarvio#galar#paldea#pasio#silverstreakshipping
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Your art tastes like aged paper, sugar, and chocolate to me, with a hint of salt every so often
Machete looks like white chocolate, and Vasco's like buttery caramel
.
#aw#that sounds nice#anonymous#answered#I was wondering what the aged paper is doing there but it reminded me of something#so I'm going to share a weird personal detail totally unprompted#I think I used to have pica disorder when I was a kid I would gnaw on and eat a lot of small inedible objects#pieces of cardboard rubber bands and blu tack#the plastic animal figurines I had had bitemarks on them and were often missing bodyparts like if a dog had gotten to them#also a ton of uncooked pasta#I think it wasn't a flavor thing I had obsessions for specific textures that weren't found in actual foods#I particularly craved those candy wrappers that are made of waxed paper#(finns might be familiar with pihlaja or marianne wrappers for example or those translucent inner wrappers in lehmäkarkki/ cow cream fudge)#can't say for sure when it stopped but one day I realized that hey hold on this probably isn't normal human behavior#I think I was over 10 but under 15#and I had forgotten the whole thing but got such a vivid flashback from that line it was actually kind of alarming
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so, Batman #147… rambling about the difference in how Zdarsky portrays the two current Robins
this is a fantastic run for Tim, and very much written like a return to form of what plenty consider the best dynamic duo, but even more so "the best Robin". once Damian's introduced in this run, Zdarsky really makes sure you still know that lol
1. "We don't need anyone else" VS "I need my family"
#147 clearly exemplifies the contrast, so i'll go through it first. Damian, having fallen for Zurr's lie and accepted him as the real Bruce, goes so far as to say in the very first page "We don't need anyone else." it's cold colors, machinery, and hollow declarations of "father and son" for these two.
towards the ending, Tim has deduced where the real Bruce is hiding and brings him food expecting Bruce's knack for self-neglect. it's all warmth, sunshine, and mutual understanding - also a cute back and forth of "Batman and Robin" between them. on top of this, where Damian isolates Batman & Robin from family, Tim is the one to remind Bruce about "helping each other." Bruce heartily agrees with "I need my family" for a weighty end.
along with this parallel, from #138 Tim makes it clear that even in opposition, he's only ever trying to help Bruce. Damian was still on the wrong side with Zurr-induced-Bruce here at the time too 😭
2. Tim's independence as both a hero and partner
Tim is written as the ideal Robin to Bruce's Batman, and has made Robin its own independent hero on equal footing rather than a sidekick - it's made in statements by both Tim and Bruce, and through the entire narrative. he takes initiative and tries to foresee what would ultimately help Bruce. beyond being great partners, there's many bits showing their emotional connection ("i'm scared of being lost, but i'm more scared of losing you, Bruce" hit me like a bag of bricks). tbh this almost could be a Batman and Robin run lol
added the first panel from #126 of Tim declaring he's his own hero outside of Bruce, proven plenty especially in his backups in #131-134!! the other panels are a few highlights from #128, #130, and #135 of the partnership between Tim and Bruce
granted it's Zurr, but Damian is mostly seen following orders and given pensive looking panels when there's something concerning. While Tim continued to represent Batman's ideals during his own solo quest to find Bruce, Damian doesn't question or take action against "Bruce's" sudden shift in ethics
Batman #134 Backup - Tim showing support toward Toyman VS Batman #146 - Zurr and Damian confront Harley as she pleads about her change of heart
another kiinda parallel in #147 is Bruce acknowledging Tim's hard work to become Robin compared to Damian who's out here going Batman and Robin/Father and Son. i don't think it's an intended parallel but just the state of continuing to show Tim in a better light - Tim put in the effort "to become the second-best Robin" while Damian is Robin because..."son." supposedly less effort on his part too, because LOA.
second pic is from Batman/Catwoman The Gotham War: Scorched Earth, felt fitting to add since Tim mentions needing to "know everything" in both. and the humble brag. which ofc Tim believes Dick is the best!! but also. jic we didn't know Tim is the best current Robin sdfgh
3. Damian's blind loyalty as "Bruce's son"
there's a weight to the Robin title when regarding Tim, whereas Damian's "Robin" role is excess and counterintuitive. he's delegated to desperate sidekick to Bruce, as well as becoming an obstacle to the family. being Robin only seems significant to Damian in how it ties himself to his father, and his single Robin quality is a loyalty that's been written to an extreme fault. the only positive angle i could see this in is Zdarsky aiming to put Damian in a sympathetic light in how far Damian was willing to fall to stay by his father's side, hence, fooled by that nightmare story/confession. the problem with this is that we have not seen a single emotional connection between the two in this run, so why should we care about that relationship.
also, Damian constantly bringing up his position as Bruce's son just makes him look entitled? since Bruce rightfully expressed his claim of having the others as his sons too (with the unfortunate exclusion of his daughter)! so it's like a "lol you're not that special" vibe when looking at it from the outside?? ykw concerning #138, Damian saying "You're the one trying to destroy my father" also could have been in contrast to Tim saying "We'll help our dad" at the end.
Zdarsky seems to believe the only meaningful part of Damian being Robin is he's the son of Bruce, and not a single nod to any noble aspect Damian's achieved beyond that. we're constantly reminded of Tim's greatest hits as Robin, from taking on the mantle to pull Bruce out of darkness (#135, #138), mastermind a whole takedown (Gotham War: Scorched Earth), and always being on the same wavelength with Bruce etc. the entire run sings Tim's praise, and it's deserved!! my problem is how it's in stark contrast to Damian's portrayal of being the other Robin who's only special because he believes he's the greatest son and wants to be at Bruce's side.
so all this to say, if your fav is Tim YOU'RE EATING WELL!! personally as a chronic enjoyer of things, this has been an entertaining run! as a chronic enjoyer of Damian, it's definitely not for many of his fans at this point in time.
i did like this part!! his grin!!
#rambling#i'm not v good explaining things besides yelling about how cute Damian is but hopefully the observations are clear enough#instead of an essay i think i should pull up a conspiracy board of all the panels/lines and post it notes of my points#bc writing this has made me go cross eyed trying to verbalize parallels and differences 😭#like. Tim's Robin moments are stunners!! kickass or emotional scenes with or without Bruce!!#then Damian acts like everyone is beneath him and Bruce...when they've barely had any meaningful dialogue with eo#gave Zdarsky the benefit of doubt that Damian was pulling something similar to Morgan Ducard#but ofc that would mean he actually cared about any of Damian’s comics outside of his intro with Morrison 😭#i don't think Zdarsky hates Damian exactly just that he's a convenient character to use as a parallel since there's two Robins ALTHOUGH#thinking of the Batman sketch by Jorge or Zdarsky?? ITS A BLUR at NYCC and Zdarsky added a word bubble with 'Tim is the Best Robin' or smth#he wants to remind ppl of that every so often. like in the batman run. i wouldn't mind it if he wasn't putting my fav against that#especially when they're sharing the title but alas!#this run could be a great sendoff to Tim's Robin era and gaining a new title... or this is all Zdarsky fanboy lol which is fair#ANYWAY BACK TO WHIMSY!! TO DILLY DALLYING AND SHILLY SHALLYING!!
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Every time i hear a re-recorded Taylor Swift song I'm like women really do just get better with age huh
#every so often she reminds me I'm part gay#better than revenge tv intro just took me out#instant ko#nice job t#i will regret tagging this with#Taylor Swift#speak now tv#speak now taylor’s version
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alternatively, this scene is both binghe to shen qingqiu and shen qingqiu to binghe but for different aspects of their relationship... binghe to sqq for all the spoiling and pampering required to keep up with sqq's standard of living, and sqq to binghe for all his worries and insecurities about their relationship
"they can say that you're high maintenance but it's okay because i like... maintaining you" just omg
#also as someone who is not a friends watcher except for when i'm at a hotel#this scene ranks as one of my favs and one that i think about often#i really really love this scene like so much#and today i was thinking about bingqiu and it reminded me of this scene#bingqiu#luo binghe#shen qingqiu#svsss
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Melotober - Day 19 - Nostalgia
What a difference a year can make!
#Melotober#Rain coats from the Frontier graff art because yes#Rune Factory#RF#RF1#Rune Factory Mist#RF Mist#Rune Factory Raguna#RF Raguna#Doing stuff like this reminds me of my Time Loop theory. I think of that SO often. I need the mindspace to write dang it#also late because I've unfortunately been in pain the past day or so- had to just lay down yesterday- doing better today#I'll either catch up or combine prompts somehow. Or we finish on Nov 1st. Shrug!#'Why does October want to kill you?' because I'm actually having fun and I shall take it as a compliment that the world strikes at me now#anyway what a nice walk on Spring 1 not feeling the need to pass out#Margot's RF Art
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can i requeeeessstt edgar rescuing scriabin from something |D
Day 6 - There are consequences out here
Bonus, of what he was doing to get stickers in his hair:
#My art#Requestober#Vargas#Scriabin#Edgar#I really wasn't sure what to do with this one at first! Or rather - I immediately had this and another idea but wasn't satisfied either way#I opted for this one because The Feelings and the bonus - additions oddly energizing!#I think it's that at first I was too strongly reminded of the one I made of Edgar cutting Scriabin's hair#Poses too similar! Feelings too similar! Not new or shiny or sparkly or anything!!!#But then the bonus came to mind and cute Scriabin is always nice <3#And then the pose expanded as well! Different! New challenges!#I've been trying to attempt more fullbodies this year :3 I don't make them that often! It's good practice all round!#Anatomy and consistency and more dynamic posing!!!! All good things :D#And also parts that I'm not as used to drawing - their feetsies turned out nice I think! Ah! Feels like a level up love when that happens#And then the Feelings of it all <3#I love Scriabin impulsively enjoying his body So Badly gah#Being extant in private and getting to fully revel in sensation with no filter no interruptions#Consequences now - new fallouts of his own actions - but the immediacy just Feels so much he can't help it#Edgar chides him of course - he's (had to) grown out of such childish impulses! Aren't you an adult!#Really he just worries neither of them would do well with either gone for long stickers least of all haha#And he likes being useful <3 They're so similar haha Scriabin loves to complain and Edgar loves to fret ♥#They balance each other well for what a handful they are#Scriabin especially of course hehe
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