#but I'm learning to deal with it lol
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had to spend my day in a suit so might as well take some pictures xD
#i am very awkward#but I'm learning to deal with it lol#personal#not art#me#also i need a haircut#but i hate going to the hairdressers xD
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gonna try to word this as best as i can but, if you're tme and kind of stupid in regards of transmisogyny issues, you can like ... listen. it isn't that hard.
trans women and transfems as a whole are constantly doing the hard work for you, explaining why something is wrong, how you can make sure they feel safer, that Hey! This Show Is Kinda Transmisoginistic, So Maybe Don't Recommend It To Me!, etc etc, they're literally doing the heavy lifting for you, and if you truly care about them the way you say you do, you'll educate yourself at least a little
"trans women are women" in your bio isn't enough anymore
#its already fucked that we are putting the burden of educating others on them#instead of doing it ourselves#but god at least LISTEN???????#idk bitch all of us worth a dime already dropped jkr why cant you also drop rocky horror show lol it aint that big a deal#jojo barks#ignore me btw I'm not being too smart but like.... Ive seen so many ppl lately refusing to learn
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*drifter seeing the protoframe they'll romance for the first time voice* i think i hauve the infestation
#ni blabs#warframe#warframe spoilers#warframe 1999#(obv only counts for drifters who are doing the romance system lol)#it's 3 am i'm allowed to come up with stupider post ideas than usual#god imagine what a drifter who will romance someone is gonna go through#like they're preparing to time travel and risk The Wally Zone b/c the fate of the solar system is at stake or whatever#fully expecting never-ending nightmare scenarios and danger forever#then they get there#and boom. Hot People.#bonus silly round: *love interest of choice* is drifter's first crush#they have absolutely no clue what is going on with them (look they haven't had much time to (re?)learn the ropes after leaving duviri)#(new war and dealing with the origin system's crap and all)#so for a bit they actually think they've been infected until they get it in their head that. no. that's just a crush you nimrod.#bonus bonus silly round: operator is (somehow) keeping tabs on the situation from across time and space and is just absolutely baffled#by how their older counterpart is acting#*operator voice* Are They Stupid#this is a dumb tangent okay i'm going to bed now goodnight mr.coconut
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Something I've seen a couple people saying is that they want to make sure that Laudna understands that she's not the only one who has been through trauma. But like. Laudna is not the only one who needs to learn that lesson. Actually, it's not even that Laudna needs to learn that she's not the only one that's been through trauma at all, because they're all very aware of what they've all been through. This became an inevitable confrontation when Laudna decided to let Delilah back in, though, and after rewatching the scene, I actually think the only people who managed this situation correctly were Imogen* and Ashton.
Orym and Laudna are both more focused on their own pasts with the sword and not thinking about each other. Orym should have talked to the group and come to a decision with them about using the sword and Laudna should have talked to him about it instead of trying to steal it.
*my feelings about this are still up in the air don't read into this too much
#our faves aren't exempt from having to learn these lessons and orym has also not learned this lesson i'm sorry but it's true#ashton and chet are the only ones who have even tried to deal with their personal shit in a semi-productive way tbh#i could elaborate on the imogen handling this correctly but i'm not delving into interpreting that ship so i'm not going to lol#that's another post people wouldn't actually like and it's because i definitely don't mean this in the way you think i mean it#i'm not saying laudna was RIGHT#honestly i'm not getting my hopes up about how this going to be dealt with because i've done that before#and it hasn't panned out in a way that i enjoyed#so we'll see how this goes#also tbh orym walking in wielding that sword was a ballsy move to begin with#props to marisha for instigating tough rp over it#literally laudna going 'i was felled by this blade' and orym going 'so was i' LIKE SHE WASN'T PERMANENTLY DEAD THOUGH#for a long fucking time#and chet saying that orym's lost more like laudna didn't lose her entire family and her entire life lmao#if ANYONE in this group might be able to understand orym's loss it's HER#i know people are going to interpret this as me saying there's a right or wrong to this and i'm not saying that#people acting like one of them had more of a right to the sword than the other is bugging me though#although my vote would definitely be throw that thing in the lucidean ocean#(i mean really i'm like USE IT IT'S PROBABLY COOL) but like if i were IN the situation it would be to toss that thing so far away from me#cr spoilers
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"We can get through this by working together, reach out to your friends, community is all we have, a social network will be your security in the world, now is the time to lean on others!"
I do agree, and it's scientifically sound (pretty sure there is data about how people with better social networks live longer and etc) but also....augh..... what about the severe social issues, difficulty to leave the house, physical issues which lead to like zero socialization energy a majority of the time, etc. etc. Social support can be a replacement for structural support, but.. I guess I just wish it didn't have to be. Community is extremely difficult to build, even moreso if you're someone who has issues with social cues or group conversations or even just being around others in the first place. And blah, nuance, of course I'm just complaining or maybe being too negative or maybe misunderstanding, but, I hardly have the energy to brush my hair once every 2 months.. how am I supposed to maintain a wide social network and be active in a Community and Join Groups lol... sometimes it kind of feels like "er.. well if thats my only option then...... ruh roh". It's overwhelming
#Kind of like some post I saw a long time ago talking about how even the meanest shittiest most difficult to get along with#elderly people or whaever still deserve to have some sort of systems in place to support them so they're not just relying on the#grace of relatives or etc. who may not be able to deal with them. Not saying that I'm like mean and cruel or anything#but the fact of the matter is in most social situations either I am compromising or the other person is. Not in like an ~`ouuu im so weirdd#nobody willever understand my quirky swagg hee heee~' way but like a.. Just factually the things that make me happy and comfortable#are often incompatible with people. The way I communicate and process things is different from the way other people do and that#is always a barrier. I cannot have ''easy''' interactions. Even with 'understanding' people there is nearly always a significant#amount of effort. You can't walk into a group of people and then be like ''okay you guys all have to wear#masks and you also cant play music too loud and also we should communicate turns of speaking very clearly so group conversations#arent too stressful. and also i need this and that and we have to do this and that and '' etc. etc. You CAN. And some people will#go along with that. but they will ALWAYS secretly resent you for it. You will be the one person they're relieved to not have to be around.#theyre glad when you dont show up since they can go back to doing things however they want and not masking and all these boring#annoying things. OR you can say none of that and just deal with the loud music and the talking and the unmasked people. but then#YOU'RE compromising. and no matter how nice they are it's exhausting to be around and youre just further alienated#while in the presence of people and uncofmrtoabel the whole time.#Which I'm not saying the only form of community is a group setting specificially but just giving that as an example lol#I just wish there were a better option than ''well learn to socialize normally or just suffer then'' . Which I know is not what people are#saying. I guess I just always feel a bit scared when 'community is the answer'. Since its not like 'oh im just socially anxious and need to#get out of my shell~!' or something thats really that remedy-able. It's like.. my mostly unchangeable physical health issues combined#with the mostly unchangable literal way that my brain processes sensory informationand other things means that interacting with#others in a normal and easy way is incredibly difficult and often exhausting especially to maintain in any longform fashion. So then#when it's like ''the answer to staying safe is to maintain longform social connections!! :3 just reach out!!'' then.. ermm... O_O#also I'm not even one of the cutesy shy emotional hermits that's nervous. I'm the Bad Stereotype emotionless robotic cold seeming#looms in the corner of the room type of thing so people have less pity on you in that way. -_- ANYWAY gghj#I need like.. a designated social representative or something.. When I did work in that bookshop forever ago they gave me a#person who basically was just with me to help communicate with others on my behalf and supervise me and stuff. I need that.. Some#more extraverted person I can latch onto and they can maintain the Social Support Network for me and I can just be their +1 to all#of the Social Things and community. I have helpful skills I can contribute to other people and stuff it's just like.. I cant socialize lol#I cook food or something for you.. then you keep me in contact with Community.. a deal. (but then what about when I'm too sick to#contribute? as is often the case. there's not much place for people like me in communities sometimes i fear.. sigh.) ***
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active flood watch in my area but it's fine because Dan and Phil got me used to getting boiled like a frog
#is this anything#dan and phil#.kas#phan#if i drown we better win fandometrics in my honour am i right lads#chatting shit on tumblr bc I'm actually stressed ✌️#1 note = 1 last minute swimming lesson for kas. its not too late#i mean it probably is. im 24 and i never learned how to swim. i do have a swimmers card tho#do you guys have that. idk what the point is it doesnt really do anything or exist physically i believe. but it was a big deal in 4th grade#almost as big as the cycling card. which i failed lol#does anybody know what im talking about or am i being as incoherent as usual
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hi
#life update nobody asked for lol#I missed you guys my pookie wookie dookies#I deleted all my social media and life is so great wow#still a lot of mental health problems but I'm finally learning to deal with my emotions and not hate life (wow)#is it bad for me to say I'm so glad I left blr#I will probably never come back here lol but I think (?) today is txt's debut anniversary and since I am the self proclaimed empress of moa#downgrading to a flip phone actually#I unstanned txt and all the kpop peoples too (SHOCKER)#I do feel really nostalgic and sad when I think about them but I think it was the thing I needed most#delulu is infact not the solulu#daydreaming about beomgyu being the new student at my school and being soobin's bestie was never the greatest idea hey#it's so freeing to not care about them and focus on what's infront of me#if you need a sign to start growing out of kpop and start worrying about your own life here it is babe 😭 don't let anybody give you shit#Not to say kpop is bad or anything I just think for me it was getting a bit out of hand#As much as we all make fun of the delulus it's so easy to fall down that spiral when these idols constantly tell you they love you#The parasocial relationship was REAL istg these people felt like my friends#Hueningkai does not give a FUCK about me and he is so real for that#Thinking about deleting this blog but I'm logging off after this so I very well may forget it exists again#But I just wanted to share what's been going on#And I miss you guys a lot#I may have outgrown kpop and tumblr but you all still have a special place in my heart#I miss the good old days 😭 when discord let's me back in I might visit wme#Not much has changed with me but mentally I feel like a whole new person#But I hope you all are doing GREAT#Living your best lives and doing things that make you happy#You owe it to yourself more than you owe these celebrities anything#xoxo savie 😝🤟🤟🔥🔥🔥
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only just processed that luca added the flames to the colander helmet...implicitly b/c of alberto’s “also i added flames” dream vespa design alteration...
#like evidence afterwards that someone was paying real attention even when at the time the other party felt ignored / tuned out....So sweet.#which also my audhd life experiences like. if i learn anyone ever absorbed anything i said it's like oh whoa living large lmao#anyways the point is it only occurred to me the other day lol. like i'd noticed the flames but just didn't piece anything else together#i Love how many like. threads & details you Can piece together like that but are just kind of quietly in the bg otherwise#and fun how everything luca needs for the race is definitely like Somewhere Underwater...colander fell in the sea...bike by the sunken boat#god knows what color situation i fumbled my way into here. so the classic spin of just like Also there's more stripped down versions#who knows if i'll like do more of a full color approach version. they can't stop you. nor stop you from just posting lineart#or stop me from going off the walls w/their tail lengths lol#luca#luberto#lucalberto#😚😚😚#fish freckles you are everything to me...#eta not me forgetting to save the [solid bg color]less pngs as transparent....i was up all night#didn't help w/the color selecting that i'm bad at anytime lol#ok hopefully now they're actually transparent#smhhh now i've realized i forgot a little line to indicate webbing betwixt alberto's fingers there#not as big a deal as how i ALMOST forgot to include any of their arm/leg fins. i'll fix it if i do the [full coloring] deal lol. imagine it#yet another eta: occurs to me i could've made alberto purpler & the bg blue. well;
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me unironically twice a month
me: hi I'm autistic! I struggle with alot of things, even though I can talk quite normally and make eye contact. I am still disabled! and still face systemic oppression from my government and the school system!
some random ass aspie: those stupid bitch level 2's and 3's.
me: why are you saying this to me
some random aspie: autism is not a disability your just fucking stupid
me: again.. why are you saying that
aspie: ...
me: ...
aspie: bc your autistic the bad kind, the should be locked up kind.
me: what the fuck man.
#-pop#is it because I'm comorbid with a surprising amount of other neurodivergenices? or is the aspie supremacy just that fucking bad?#who knows I'm honestly sick of being treated like shit#lol#autism#actually autistic#autistic things#fuck aspies#I will always side with the losers and ppl with learning and developmental disabilities#stop siding with the ableists please guys I can't deal with the repackaged eugenics shit. it's fucking annoying!
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I live in constant fear of being annoying af
#anxiety#social anxiety#neurodiversity#neurodivergent#adhd#autism#depression#anxiety disorder#mental illness#autistic#the “are you mad at me” disorder#I don't want to live like this#but I'm so self-conscious and insecure at times that I literally don't know how to deal with this#I feel like I shouldn't be around people at all because I'm just a burden and an annoyance#and I know rationally that that's not true#I know that there are people who like me and value me#but the FEELINGS are something entirely different#it's probably because of my parents and shit#lol no surprise -- the usual shit#let's have a dysfunctional family because why not#and let them have kids#and#why am I even posting this#aaand the fear of being annoying creeps right back in through all the cracks in my self-confidence#so I'm trying to fight it by behaving against it#posting cringy shit#because it's my shit#because it's me#and maybe one day I'll learn#that it's okay to be me
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My mom's side of the family is doing a Thanksgiving breakfast at IHOP so we can all have separate Thanksgiving dinners, so instead of feeling insecure at a relative's house, I'll feel insecure in the international house of pancakes 😎
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jean valjean and cosette's relationship as father and daughter is great and adorable but it's also not without issues in the way that there is no parent-child relationship that is without issues and i know that certain adaptations have taken this idea to weird places but i also. umm. i don't know i personally like to think about cosette having complicated and mixed feelings about her relationship to jean valjean. i think it's an interesting area to explore from cosette's perspective specifically. his enigmatic logic towards basically anything. the fact that while yes he is a kind and generous father who, um, goes to very great lengths to make sure she has a safe and happy life, he is also guilty of being emotionally manipulative at times. he's a good dad but he's isn't perfect, is what i'm saying. i guess.
#l832.txt#rbs off bc this isn't any real analysis or commentary or anything i'm just thinkin bout it#and i don't want to risk this post getting in the wrong hands lol#just. in general jvj gets cast as wholesome and good and fandom generally just tends to act like he's very precious and gentle#and i rarely see people talking about the deeper and much more complex side of his character#or the fact that by the end of the book it's very clear that cosette has had to Deal With this man as her father and his weird antics#and while she's chatty and fun and generally has a good attitude it really starts to show that she grew up learning from an early age#that there are things you just Don't Talk About. and maybe she Would Like to Talk About some Things.
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Hiiii uh I am not an artist and I’m wondering what tracing and referencing is?
I'm just gonna explain this with pictures bc it's easier lol.
so basically: this is tracing (going over a picture line for line, usually not really understanding what you're drawing which can lead to some uh. interesting looking results)
vs referencing (using a picture as. well reference for your own art) excuse the shitty drawing lol but you get the idea
#Anonymous#asks#ofc there's different levels of tracing and there are kinds of acceptable tracing#it depends on who you ask where they draw the line#me personally I think if your art is reliant on tracing it's bad. like if you have to trace faces or whole pictures then. don't#I'm much more strict with tracing from art compared to pictures tho#like if you trace a hand from a stock photo ok whatever. if you trace it from someone's art. no#I think tracing to learn is ok but just. don't post it#can you tell I'm still dealing with that tracer lol. tried to confront them in dms and they just called me racist (???)#also they think using a pattern brush is the same as tracing a whole ass face so idk I think they're a lost cause
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i remember quite a long time ago when i was like 8 and i was at my grandma's house crying about something small and i was so confused why i was so upset about it. my grandma said "well, you might be angry about a lot of things right now, and it's all building up" and i sat there thinking that that was the most idiotic thing i've ever heard. but like. 10 years later and i'm in the exact situation she was describing.
#mine#personal#also turns out i was just still upset about my cat daisy dying recently at that point so my grandma was right lol. i didn't realize she was#right until later. but i've realized over the years that she has taught me a lot of lessons that still help me a lot today.#she taught me that naming ur emotions can help u process + express them n how to be still and quiet like physically mentally emotionally an#spiritually. like her and i would sit on her living room couch together and for like 10 minutes we wouldn't talk. at all. we would close ou#eyes and take deeps breaths and then after a while go back to what we were doing. i thought this was all very dumb and meaningless when i#was a small child but the lessons i've learned from her have actually helped a LOT over the years when it comes to dealing with negative#emotions and difficult situations. i have some confusing mixed feelings about her (personal family related reasons) but i'm honestly#really thankful for her. i miss her a bit tbh.
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once again i am on the playlist lol
#just me hi#my strange brain concoctions back at it again lmfsh#i've been workin on it by bits and bits for the past 2-3ish days and i think i've almost got what i mean hfvbs#yea... mnmnm...#//outta the Lagoons into the Blues !! what a transition hkfshv#i mean i Have found that i actually really really like the shampoo we've been using for like 5 years hghfsv#but also i've had to switch from that one to a different one anyway cuz my hair? is grezy ghfbshv#it Is soft now though which is cool :D cuz the old soap didn't get it quite well and i was using dish soap sometimes to strip it so Lmao#which btw the dish soap worked p well. however it Did feel stripped kgfhsv#/what else what else uuum#i've developed more world stuff for pi.e which is also very epic and neat ; like the 3 Cities + radiation towns + Sanctuary cities +#Sanctuary zones + how they interact w/ each other lol :)#i have these weird lil creatures that i'm calling Rascals rn but i think they need a different name pfshv#and also cuz i made the general world bigger that means i have defined more of the plot just by. scribbling some points for towns on paper#yea :D this thing is maybe just a little bit daunting but i'll prolly get it figured out lol ; roman 3#/oh i Do really wanna draw more pi.e stuff to post hfh :>#cuz despite it all i am still v shy abt my stuff and that's kinda silly so !!#/sometimes my brain gets into these weird paper jams where i'm doing one thing but then i see and wanna do another thing (easy transition ?#but then i see another thing and then another and now i have 4 different things and i feel bad just focusing on just one because. ??? ????#when i was little i used to humanize objects Just before they were thrown away and i think that sort of carried over in a weird way bfhsvgj#balance in all things !! wait no not like that w-#//oh wait wait did i ever mention i learned to make stir fried rice w/ egg#prolly not that big of a deal but i'm STILL happy abt that lol :D#maybe especially cuz i was doing most of the cooking while my picky-cook brother was helping and he thought it was good so like YAY#though tried to make it a second time and i let my ma put the salt in the pot and she oversalted it by Far TwT#it was fine though just really salty lol :)#//mnm also getting into classic vehicles a lil bit#just a bit! cuz i don't know where to start and i just really like that one bike i doodled a bit ago#also i'm a bit spooked that my dad will find out and he is Overwhelming when he finds you might like smth he knows smth abt gfvsgh <3#//Oh i'm outta tag space pfshgv - Toodlesssss ciao :3
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Typing Tips That I Stumbled Upon Randomly:
The Ctrl key lets you jump between words really quickly. If you hold Ctrl and press the left or right arrow keys, instead of moving your cursor 1 character you'll move it a whole word; if you want to edit that word that's 3 words back, you can just hold Ctrl and left-left-left, and you're there.
Even more useful in my opinion, if you hold Ctrl and press Backspace you'll delete the entire word you're on. That's just really nifty because a lot of the time when you're deleting you want to delete the whole word, so this is much faster.
Also, idk how well-known this is but holding Shift and moving your cursor will make you highlight any characters you move over. That's useful on its own, but combining that with Ctrl lets you quickly highlight whole words or sentences, so you can easily copy+paste them. You can also hold Shift to edit any selections you made with your mouse or something.
Also it took me too long to realize that the Home and End keys are actually really nice sometimes. Home takes you to the start of the line you're on, and End takes you to the end. Hold Shift while doing that and you can highlight the whole line. Very nice for programming. Also holding Ctrl and pressing Home or End takes you to the top or bottom of the page, but I barely use that.
A similarly useful key that I also overlooked is the Delete key. It's like the Backspace key, but it deletes the character in front of your cursor instead of behind it. Just like with Backspace Ctrl+Delete lets you delete a whole word in front of your cursor.
Also Ctrl+A lets you highlight the whole page.
Also even when you're not typing and instead just browsing a web page or something, you still technically have a cursor; if you click a piece of text, then hold Shift and press the arrow keys, you'll start highlighting text.
Practice Exercise: Click on the t in this word, then hold Shift and press left and right on the arrow keys! Now try holding Ctrl+Shift while you press the arrow keys! Hold Shift and press Home or End! Hold Shift and use your mouse to left-click on different spots in the paragraph and see how your selection changes!
#original#i had to use microsoft excel for the first time today and it SUCKED i had NO IDEA how to do ANYTHING#and i though “this is probably so much easier if you know the keyboard shortcuts”#and then i realized how much Secret Knowledge i have that make typing and stuff way easier#so i figured it would be nice to make sure my followers can also make typing faster and easier#also i wrote the practice exercise before realizing that most people use tumblr mobile lol#also there's some weird details that i didn't include#ctrl+backspace only deletes the part of the word that's behind the cursor#so if you're in the middle of a word it will only delete part of it#also ctrl+arrow keys sometimes doesn't skip a whole word#like with apostrophes like in “you're” sometimes it will stop at the apostrophe#depends on the text editor you're using#like on my favorite text app Notepad ctrl+arrows will always move past the whole word without stopping#except it DOES stop at hyphens like “ha-ha” but idk whether hyphenated words are technically separate words#oh FUCK yeah i spelled separate correctly without even slowing down or thinking about it! i'm learning!#it'd be really funny if all this stuff is just common knowledge and i posted the equivalent of “dark souls tip: attacks deal damage”
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