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allfattenedup · 7 months ago

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Hello and what great progress, exceptional!!!

I see myself in you even if I'm just starting out... cause I was also a thin athlete, even too thin at certain times, I can ask you what pushed you to start and after the first phases what did you did it push you to move forward and never go back?

Thankyou!

Thank you so much!

I've told this story a few times but not for a while. So I have always had this kink. But I was also pretty vain, lol. I don't mind admitting that. I wanted to look hot, it was important to me. So, I won't say I buried the kink - I definitely jerked off to pretty much only fat guys and girls, and even fantasized heaps about myself getting fat, but I was just really strict in my mind that it was a fantasy only and that I'd never actually do it to myself.

Eventually, it became overwhelming. In hindsight I realise it was a self sustaining cycle — I was working out more and taking better care of my looks to try to drown out the desire, but the more I did that, the more delicious the thought of ruining it all became in my mind. The pull became way too strong. It was all I was thinking about all the time.

So, I did eventually make a deal with myself that I would gain 20lbs, just to get it out of my system, and then lose it before anyone really noticed.

That was the best/worst/best/worst decision I ever made.

Because oh my god, if I thought fantasizing about myself with a belly was hard to resist, actually having one? Actually watching and feeling one grow and wobble and push over my waistband? A potent lifelong sexual fantasy coming to life like that? Fuck me, I didn't stand a chance.

It got out of control real fucking fast. I swelled like crazy. Got the heavy hanging stomach of my dreams and nightmares. Got a pair of moobs, got a double chin and a fat face. I quickly realised I also had an embarrassment kink and with that, the guardrails just came off. The safety net burned up. The thought of having to face people in this body was as delicious as it was horrifying so there was no way I could stop myself from making it worse and worse and worse. I've done a few different drugs in my life and I have NEVER been as out of my mind as I was during that period of time. Absolutely off my face on lust.

Although it's not quite true that I never went back. I exploded with fat so fast that it seriously freaked me out. And even though I was literally getting off on the panic of how obese I was, eventually it became too much and I did actually lose a lot of weight. Not down to my original weight but enough that people were congratulating me everywhere I went for how "good I was looking". It felt nice, honestly. I missed the erotic tornado of weight gain, but it was kind of nice to feel normal again, to feel a little bit confident in my looks again, and I promised I'd leave this whole surreal experience behind me. But then eventually... it was all I was thinking about all the time. It became overwhelming. The pull became too strong.

I should have known what would happen. I came back to tumblr. Explained myself, showed my weight loss. People were really kind and supportive. I admitted that I just wanted to be part of the community again but I'm not gonna be gaining any weight back. And then that became 'I'm only gonna gain a tiny bit of weight back'. And then for probably about a year I was "not gaining" while slowly getting fatter and fatter. I started a Patreon and the thought of being fattened for a living started to ping that overwhelming desire again. My body started to take on a different shape than it did in my first gain. So all of a sudden that made everything new and hot again. I was in denial for wayyyy longer than was reasonable. I somehow managed convinced myself I wasn't really gaining on purpose, meanwhile I was ordering a second pint of Ben & Jerry's while still shoving down the first. I'm sure half of you guys knew I was intentionally gaining again before I did. And that's where we are now. I gained slower this time. My body is handling it better. Seems to me the only way from here is up 😈📈🥵

#askafu #weight gain #gaining weight #fattening up #wg text #male feedee #fattening myself #getting fatter #fat pig #fatboy #fit to fat #gaining weight on purpose #bhm

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microsuedemouse · 10 months ago

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~ 15 questions & 15 friends ~

tagged by my much beloved @czarcaustic <3

1. Are you named after anyone?

My grandfather!! Courtney was his middle name. (That spelling was originally the masculine form of the name, though it's pretty rare to see it used as such these days.) My middle name is also a family name :)

2. When was the last time you cried?

Uhh... oh it was a couple nights ago, when talking with my parents about my Nana. I still miss her a lot

3. Do you have kids?

Nope. At this stage of my life I can't say it feels super likely ever to happen, though I'd be lying if I said I don't feel a twinge of Something when I meet babies at work lol.

4. What sports do you play/have you played?

lmao I have never played any. I am extremely unathletic by nature, and also always struggled to get my brain around the rules of pretty much any of them when I was like, a kid in gym class

5. Do you use sarcasm?

Sure, but not a lot? Probably an average amount I figure

6. What is the first thing you notice about people?

Man, I dunno - probably their faces or their clothes, depending on context?

7. What's your eye color?

Brown!

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

Big big fan of both! I'm not a big sad endings guy, though. Even when it feels right for the story, it's usually not my jam. (I guess sometimes sad endings can be good for scary movies, but that's like... sort of its own thing? because it's about The Horror.)

9. Any talents?

This is always a hard question for me to answer, bc I feel like most of the things I'm good at are more skills than talents - they're things I've practiced and developed over time, like with my writing and art. Although I guess it'd be fair, if unusual maybe, to say I've got a couple naturally strong interpersonal skills. I'm very good at communication, including figuring out what other people are trying to say, and I'm also pretty good at making people feel comfortable and understood.

10. Where were you born?

In southern Ontario, in the city where both of my parents did most of their growing up :)

11. What are your hobbies?

Writing (fiction prose, mostly) and the many kinds of thinking that go with it (worldbuilding, character development, etc). Arts and crafts (of many kinds; I'm often bouncing from one thing to another. Currently I'm having lots of fun learning to crochet). Taking in stories (reading books and comics, watching movies and TV, playing games, listening to podcasts - I love stories in all their forms). Goofing off with my family, especially my younger siblings.

12. Do you have any pets?

We have three cats - Neverland, Louie, and Smudge :)

13. How tall are you?

Uhh my ID says 165 cm, so that's... 5'5"-ish? I'm genuinely so incapable of remembering that on my own, for some reason.

14. Favorite subject in school?

It was usually English and art, growing up. In university it was always my courses that delved into genre fiction - science fiction, children's lit, the fairy tale... also that graphic novel seminar I took

15. Dream job?

Iiii. [sweats] I wanna be a novelist, but also, that's hard in its own way, and I think it's gonna take me a while yet to really Get There in terms of my own skills, disregarding the challenges of publishing. Beyond that... is something I've been struggling a lot with lately, because it's hard for me to imagine myself in a job where I'm both content and competent, let alone able to support myself. I've been wondering a lot again about library sciences, lately, but I just don't know. It's tough out here!

I definitely don't have 15 people to tag, but. @izupie @werewolfin @serenabeanie @womanaction @mana-sputachu perhaps, if you're feelin' it?

#survey #ty KC ily <333

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shoujoboy-restart · 9 months ago

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(if you want to save your time and braincells from two gay retards screaming at each other, the actual point from this yapper made like the middle of his rants is at the very end)

Again, critique or aversion of capitalism, specially generalized thought population wise after a damn war that has crippled your way of living, does not define a single political belief. It's a scapegoat to claim any person critical of capitalism is a tankie that wants a gulag, the same applies if I assumed any person critical of socialism and communism is a violent fascist that wants a ethno state with labor camps. If consistency and good faith in rhetoric makes you that buttfuck mad sucks to suck get over it lmao.

"actually I'm going to view you outside of being a human that think like one in my mind therefore I don't have to acknowledge your complexities, contradictions and anachronisms and probably compare to mine too" again, scapegoating from a discussion because YOU don't have the perspective or arguments for it. Again if you look up many anti-socialism and anti-communism arguments they can be tracked to psyop and propaganda campaigns by the CIA and FBI, a multitude of right degenerates and so on then me and other can just accused anyone of being either a ethnotate supporter or a violent imperialism lover.

So I'm strawmaning capitalism somehow when I said is stupid to assume the entire beliefs and complexities of a country's population almost a century ago trought modern lens, which is really what this is about at the end of the day...but you are not strawmaning the "anti-capitalism" of said century ago population? Okay werk lol, call me a Leninist Marxist Bolshevist Socialist Anarchist if you want, I can call you and your mutual of Fascist Ethnotate Alt-righters Imperialist if I traceback your talking points as well lmao.

You just keep repeating the exact same point again and again as if we didn't hear the first time, it doesn't make it strong to make the same argument in different fonts babe. And I didn't call myself anything, I just said i find dumb to think the people who voted Hitler into power were all tankies and commies because Hitler used the post-war economical crisis to fuel his popularity and calling his privatization loving ass a socialist by modern standards somehow. Also you sound like a "all men are garbage" traumatized woman using her personal experiences to generalize people, but I can't even empathize with you in some way because it's over political discussions which are like 99% avoidable specially on the internet lmao.

Also why you keep making this discussion about ME, MYSELF AND I exactly? "YOU DIDN'T SAY EVERY SINGLE FACET AND NUANCE OF YOUR OPNIONS" yeah because no where in this discussion demanded that lol same way you just randomly and disconnectedly brought up some shade towards some made up socialist class "that NEVER admits fascists take advantage of economical crisises and population distaste of current political situations" but you know saying that is the most lobotomized sentence know to man so you do a association fallacy of collosal proportion and assume everyone is a socialist or communist in the closet or whatever.

I was just being hypothetical when saying I was gonna sume your political beliefs based on solitary ideals, but it is pretty right wing to attack a individual instead of the idea he represents sooooo...

> The socialist then starts trying to start from zero with more premanufactured context and demanding you accept their information as true, no backsies

...again you are the that randomly and very amateurish brought up critique against random specific socialists I have yet to meet in real life in a very disconnected way if you ask me, so do you prefer kettle or pot?

Again, you are the one trying to normalize and apologize your Pure And Righteous™ version fallacy of association to assume anyone who has aversion of capitalism is a hardent socialist or communist, again, if you are going to assume that of anyone who has anti-capitalist ideals, what exactly do you have stand on in comparison to be mad at a annoying "humanities major" that call anyone they dislike fascists?(umm and what interesting target, I imagine what ideological groups is always painting the humanity major as the worst scum of the earth and has funded entire propaganda against them ummmmmm) also damn all that trauma and all of that happened to you specifically? Crazy.

Did you also see me getting abused since you apparently know so much about me and you didn't even report it? Wack

Like damn nigga you really made 80% of your post some bizarre soapbox for the average Daily Wire anti-socialism rant script number #10 huh? And here I thought to be the king of "disconnected rant related to the actual topic" game.

> But they totally aren't just evangelicals high on their own fumes trying to glibly talk about how their views are absolutely correct and that means everything else is a harmful lie, or anything.

"these specific people I dislike are really strong willed and decisive about what they believe in, no one else, except those other people I also dislike"

I get what you are trying to compare the worse of the evangelicals with the worst of socialist, or realistically them both as a whole. But this is really weak, this has the depth of first assignment of first year high school philosophy class "all ideologies be the same" talk, you are not wrong, but this is so surface level and unimpressive angst that can okay be excuses when coming out of a teen, just pure platitude demanding applause, urgh.

Also yeah I get how frustrating the whole "I'm just asking questions why are so mad huh?" shtick can be, but chief I gotta be honest my worst experience with that was that like 3 to 6 months were the right wing community on the internet was making AIDS pedo libel 2.0 with monkey-pox, not the average person having critiques and questions about the usefulness of capitalism towards them and their loved ones, which in the real world happens a thousand and million times more than whatever experience you may have had in some snotty brat filled university you got yourself into.

> And predictably when you yank that bogus assed security blanket to the verbal guerilla campaign off, they get fussy and mad you're just strawmanning all anticapitalism as just advocacy for socialism or communism.

"is always the anti-scat puritans that complain about me shiting on their cerealz funny that huh?"

Jokes aside, you are just making a self fulfilling prophecy my dude "people get really mad when I subscribe 1000 labels to a single thing they said" no shit really? Like even if the person you point all of that scorn to is a socialist maybe they aren't a tankie that believes in the gulag and Good Authoritarianism™ maybe they just want free generalized education as an option, free healthcare as a option and actual decent welfare from the state when it provides? Maybe they aren this extreme monster with radical ideals you believe them to be and you are just being unplasant and bad faith from the jump so what option so they have to react against that besides matching tout energy or surpassing it?

And since this is a assumptions by the minute game and im the socialist Chad that stole your crush or whatever trauma you are dumping on me, "why don't you just call yourself a socialist or communist" my personal reality is that I know the crimes against humanity and bigotry there is associated with those ideologies that I repudiate by default, and since there's already millions and billions of money worldwide allocated to making propaganda so people don't find themselves identifying with those labels even if they don't know how to define or identify it I also don't find a problem in provoking those that are so scared of a ideology they have at least a third of surface beliefs in common with but bend over backwards to pretend to and perform being scared of.

but the actual collective reality is again those millions and billions in propaganda, like you do realize in most countries there were decades long campaigns against communism right? Violent and anti-civil rights campaigns, that the main reason freedom of association was so strengthened in the USA was because governments during the cold war were obcessed with keeping their influence over the world plans intact and their anti-communism was solely fueled with greed and hunger for control, that the united states funded the destruction of the democracy and civil rights of entire countries to this day because they are so scared of the shake up communism does to their power structure right, here in Brazil from 1930 to 1945 we had the violent dictatorship of Getúlio Vargas that was solely fuelled into power by the Red Square narrative, that a country that already had communism made illegal and it's party persecuted needed a dictatorship to Really™ get rid of it's threat, thousands of people killed and tortured, including our future president Dilma Rousseff who was abused under the rule of infamous military commander Carlos Ustra who was know to molest children and torture pregnant women

Idk maybe the reason "socialist and communist aren't upfron about their beliefs" is because there's a proven deep state that seeks to make their lives living hell? But apparently persecution only matters when it happens to you I guess.

"ball in your court" well yeah it always been you are just yapping and complaining to yourself and having a completely disconnected rant about whatever you went thought in college or shit you heard other people say they went troought you are approting for yourself.

But anyways since you asked so nicely after 100 miles of text that I tripled back:

I believe in free decent education as a option and free decent healthcare as a option because the government has just as much right to compete in the market as any corporations so git gud or go bankrupt lol

affirmative action in private colleges make my pussy moist and it's proven to actually make better students than fully private ones, in fact at least in Brazil it's been found that the crushing majority of medicine majors already working as doctors from private schools were functionally illiterate and failed to pass first semester exam questions and could be traced back to a multitude of medical mishaps.

monopolies are destructive to the economy that matters and anti-competition

federal bailouts either shouldn't exist or the government should have a partial ownership of any company if they ask for it, I talk more in-depth here

free market capitalism is the fakest belief there is and it destroys competion when truly unregulated a many claim to be at it's best

All medicine should have compulsive permission to be made generically across the world with restrictions because we like true competition over

we need more anti-trust laws

Land redistribution is slay the house down boots and it should probably be done every few decades

Either the government raises wages constantly with inflation and the economy as a whole and forces the hand of corporations to actually employ people when it has the capacity to or allows companies to automate as much as they desire and tax them to give us UBI since most labor these days is pointless to be done by human besides from a moralistic ideology point such as evangelical(*wink* *wink*) "IF YOU DONT WORK(on what benefits the dominant class) YOU ARE WORTHLESS ANS GOD HATES YOU" and prosperity mindsets

Private property as concept is inherently dependent on a state existing and can be only truly protected and upheld by the state, so to me is kinda of a irrelevant topic since personal property rights are 100% more important and crucial

Housing should be a right, no, the government inherently isn't obliged to provide it, it should morally and if doesn't want a uprising from people with nothing to lose but their overpriced apartments, but is not forced to do so if doesn't want to, same for water and food, when something is defined as a right the government needs to create minimum breaches to allow people to seek those rights, if housing is a right you can build in whatever public area you find that doesn't have anything built already, if food is a right communal and personal gardens can't just be destroyed "because it's not regulated! THE HOA IS SAD" and water as right means you can store water as well and the government can't just let shell pollute it whenever it pleases.

"WHO GOING TO PAY FOR THAT LABOR" Me? You? Everybody is going to, cuz its funded thought taxes like 90% of everything we enjoy these days lmao. I'm not a anarchist and neither is 85% of society, we did that for most of our past generations existence and we hated it to point feudalism and similar was a better option in comparison worldwide sksksk anna op.

Military conscription is a violation of human rights, maybe don't get involved in pointless pissing fight wars in modern society if your population doesn't care to fight about it and you need to force them into supporting you?

The nuclear family fuels pedophilia, abuse and broken individuals

The smaller the economy the better for it's people.

Billionaires love overpopulation because it creates false competion thought desperation for basic work. And if you genuinely think having 100 million of population average around the world in countries is going to make anyone extinct when we most likely survived the Toba catastrophe with a couple thousands of humans left, you need to be lobotomized because you are genuinely insane, unwell and danger to yourself and others /hj

If you make NSFW art and your make log sized dicks without a stomach bulge or cuminflation when it's fucking someone you will not see the pearly gates not the burning ones because Satan thinks you a prune ass loser with bad taste and mid kinks.

I assume you are going to make the usual 2014 anti-sjw debunking marathon where you make your opinion seem like facts, half broken links as sources, sources that don't actually support what you said or believe they do, shody stats and studies and the like, I not going to respond either way but knock yourself out babes, half of it will be disconnected rants and projection of whatever personal problems and baggage you have being put on me so whatever.

I go back in time to give Hitler some basic perspective lessons, so he can finally become a painter, like he's always dreamed.

He goes on to make friends in the liberal Weimar artist circles and his life does a complete 180.

Then Germany still becomes fascist, because the complex sociopolitical circumstances of post-WWI Germany would inevitably lead to the rise of some kind of a revanchist militaristic dictatorship, Hitler or no Hitler. Old Adolph is executed for drawing anti-state pamphlets. But at least his cool name and moustache are spared from forever being associated with dictatorship.

#discourse #politics #long post #professional yapping competion

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thewanderingace · 3 years ago

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Hawkeye Episode 4 Reactions

Summary: AAAAHHHHHHHH!!! 😭😭😭😭

Once again massive spoilers under the cut

I have once again stayed up until 3am because I am incapable of waiting til later to watch the new episode. They hype continues to be strong and I cannot contain myself

This awkward tea with Clint, Kate, Jack, and Eleanor is hysterical.

And now I'm sad because Eleanor is talking about losing people and she's mentioned both Natasha and his family and NOPE! YOURE GONNA MAKE ME CRY!! Clint is doing this BECAUSE HE DOESNT WANT KATE OR HIS FAMILY TO GET HURT!!!

Lol I knew he grabbed the Ronin sword. Noice.

LAURA IS THE BEST PERSON AND WIFE AND SHE AND CLINT ARE COUPLE GOALS!!! God I just love how much they communicate with each other and understand and love each other. Laura being not only 1000% supportive but offering insights and ways to help. I mean Laura can tell how tired and pained he feels just through the one call and she tells him to ice and rest and I'M DYING. I love her. I love them. If Clint doesnt make it home for Christmas I'm gonna sob.

Kate's face when Eleanor and Jack talk about how being with family is the most important part of the holiday. She's thinking of Clint and how he's alone and away from his family because of her and AHHH 😭😭

LOL CLINT! FROZEN MARGARITA MIXES FOR ICE PACKS!! I love my disaster son.

Kate came over to keep Clint company and she brought pizza and decorations and sweaters and movies cause it's movie night and lord someone send me help because I think I'm going into cardiac arrest.

THIS IS EVERYTHING TO ME!! EVERYTHING!! THIS WHOLE MONTAGE OF KATE AND CLINT BONDING!!! I'M GONNA CRY! Brief planning session where nothing gets done and Kate uses permanent marker on a poster, Clint put on the grumpy cat sweater and looked at the movies she brought, BOOMERANG ARROWS!!!, Clint smiling and laughing 😭👍, them decorating the tree together while talking about splitting and arrow like Robin Hood, Clint teaching Kate the trick shot with the coin,

OOOH NO! Oh no. And now I'm 100% crying for real. Shit. He told Kate about how he met Nat 😭

"Best shot you ever took?" "The one I didn't take"

"When you do what I did for a living its just a game of managing loss"

OH NO KNOW HE'S THINKING ABOUT HIS FAMILY AND KATE ASKED IF HE LOST THEM DURING THE BLIP AND THE SHEER GRIEF ON HIS FACE IS DESTROYING ME

MANAGING LOSS OH MY GOD

"God that must have been devastating" "yeah you have no idea." SOMEBODY SEDATE ME

OH GOD FUCK NOW SHE KNOWS HE'S RONIN!

AND CLINT IS SAYING HE'S A WEAPON AND A KILLER AND ALWAYS HAS BEEN AND I'M GONNA DIE

Clint thanks Kate for coming over and what she did for him and I'm crying now thanks.

WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHY YOU GOTTA GO FOR ME LIKE THAT HAWKEYE WITH THE FLASHBACKS AND THE SEEING NAT DIE AGAIN AND HIS FAMILY POST ENDGAME AND NAT DYING I CANNOT TAKE THIS MY HEART CANNOT TAKE THIS

The Clint angst in this show may just be the end of me. For real.

The shirt!!!!! Kate is wearing the shirt!!!! This one!!!

The larpers are back!! I love that!!

OMG THEYRE ALL IN THE APARTMENT JUST CHILLING OUT!! Grills made snickerdoodles and Kate is trying on their costumes and OH MY GOD SHE IS GONNA COMMISSION THEM TO MAKE THEIR COSTUMES RIGHT!? SHE IS!! THAT'S WHERE THEY COME FROM!!! I LOOOOVE THAT!!!

I love that so much. Hawkeye Squared and the Guild. I love them.

Is Eleanor perhaps working for/with Valentina Allegra De'Fontaine and she told her about Clint which is how yelena finds him!? She shady. I got a theory.

WHAT IS THIS WATCH AND WHY IS IT SO IMPORTANT! WHAT AM I MISSING! Was it Nats? Was it his? What does it mean!?!?

Every time Kate just ignores Clint and does whatever she wants I laugh so damm hard. I love her. This whole with the guy and the elevator ride and the face she makes when she tells him she's talking to an avengers. It's so funny.

Okay so the watch belongs to a friend? WHO!? WHY DO THE TRACKSUITS WANT IT!?!? And Laura knows all about it too. It cant be Nats because he said if they find it they find his friend then no more friend. So who's watch is it!?!?

WAIT COULD IT BE LAURA'S!? IDK OKAY IM JUST CONFUSED! MAYBE SHE WAS SHIELD AGENT WHEN THEY FIRST MET!

OH SHIT ITS MAYAS APARTMENT!!!

YELENA!?!?!??! IS THAT YELENA!!!! IT'S YELENA OH MY GOD CALM DOWN EVERYONE CALM DOWN SHE'S HERE!!!!

HOLY SHIT THEY HAVE TO FIGHT BOTH MAYA AND YELENA!??! Damn Clint you have your work cut out for you!

STOP!!! MY HEART!!! Yelena just shocked Kate off the roof and I swear I could SEE Clints soul leave his body. You know that man is flashing back to Nataha right now. I mean he reached down to catch her just like with Nat!! And god Kate is just hanging there and Clint was so afraid she was dead that he just cuts her loose and tells her to leave BECAUSE HE WANT TO KEEP HER SAFE AND THINGS HAVE ESCALATED TOO FAR AND ITS TOO DANGEROUS AND SHE ALMOST JUST DIED RIGHT NOW!!

Clint is holding up against Yelena and I'm impressed. You know it's because of Nat though. He knows her Black Widow fighting style too well.

Maya just nopeing the fuck out of there lol

YELENA!!! HI!!!

KATE WHY DID YOU HESTIATE!?!?! Not that I wanted you to shoot her but why did you let her escape when she shook her head at you!? I mean you shot Maya in the arm so you clearly don't have a problem with it.

Clint looks so fucking tired and defeated I just want to hug the stuffing out of him. He sends Kate away because this shit is serious and it just got really bad and he can't lose her too. He's come to care about her and he almost lost her and he CAN'T do that again. FUCK ME

I'm crying. I cried so many times. THIS SHOW IS THE BEST AND I'M DYING! Every week the episode ends way too soon because enjoying it so damn much. BUT WAITING A WEEK FOR THE NEXT EPISODE IS KILLING ME! But I also I love the wait bevause we can theorize and question and analyze it all one episode at a time. I love that.

Anyway I'm dead 1,000 times over and I'm gonna go scream so more and then watch it all over again.

Also sidenote but all the comic references in this show have me LIVING!!!

#hawkeye spoilers #hawkeye #hawkeye series #hawkeye show #hawkeye 1x04 #marvel #stephs stuff #my reactions #spoilers

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mira--mira · 3 years ago

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Hi! I was wondering

How do you think Hashirama and Madara would be in a Road to Ninja version?

I remember once reading a Hashimada fic (which I never finished RIP) that was about Madara appearing in the RTN universe and the 3 things that stucked with me were:

1.- Madara was the first Hokage (something that Madara thought was horrible when he saw his sculpted face on the Hokage mountain 🤣)

And personally I think that it would not have been like that even in the RTN universe because we didn't see his face along with the other faces of Hokages in the movie (Yeah, apparently I'm basing myself on a movie which I'm not even sure if it's canon or not, even though Kishimoto wrote it) and the RTN characters didn't seem to even know who Madara is.

2.- Hashirama having his bowlcut as an adult

And I agree with the Madara from that fanfic, it looks awful on him. Hashirama, babe, I'm sorry but the only ones who can rock that style are Guy Sensei and Rock Lee, I know you just were trying to be cool but it doesn't suite you.

3.- Tobirama was a porn writer

Instead of being a fan of forbidden jutsu and creating justus, he wrote porn novels a la Jiraiya. And I'll hold that headcanon with my dead hands.

The only other fanfic that places the founders in the RTN universe is one where the protagonist is Mito (it's an interesting one-shot that pairs her with Itama 🤔)

She was kind of a shy person 🤔? And so it was Tobirama 🤣 which I found fun.

Hashirama, as the first fanfic I mentioned, was the Tobirama of the place (saddenly Madara wasn't in this fic).

So I would like to know what are your versions of the founders (or only Hashirama and Madara if it is too much) in the RTN universe! And how do you think things would be

Hmm, RTN is an interesting concept to me but, to be honest, I don't think Konoha would exist if a lot of personalities got flipped 😂 I haven't read any RTN fics with the founders, but if you, or anyone else, have links at hand I'd love to check them out 👀

1. Madara

Here's the big one and the crux of why I don't think the village would exist. Typically I characterize Madara as an extremely responsible man who internalizes things when he shouldn't, takes himself way too seriously, is aggressive and abrasive even to people he loves sometimes, but genuinely loves the people closest too him. Reversing this would make a character that slacks off, takes no responsibility, and is completely passive in life and has fleeting attachments to others around him. Assuming he wouldn't die on the battlefield, I could see the RTN "alternate" personality coming about of Madara's being so overpowered and competent that he loses interest and distances himself from things before he can get attached and lose them.

It makes building a village very hard though. (At first I was tempted to go RTN Sasuke route and maybe RTN!Madara is a little more openly flirty than canon!Madara, but the passivity and refusal to take responsibility would be the "core" qualities for me.)

2. Hashirama

Hashirama is a bit weird because he has a lot of surface-level "conflicting" traits in canon. He is optimistic but he pushes beyond his natural attitude and uses it as a mask to hide instead of addressing his feelings. He's mischievous, likes jokes and games, and can be a bit hedonistic with his pleasure but can equally be serious when necessary and will willingly sacrifice for others around him. And simultaneously, Hashirama and Madara are connected by a shared sense of idealism but also anger. Hashirama is a very kind, but extremely angry, man. I think a RTN!Hashirama would share a kind of apathy of RTN!Madara but instead of passivity his lack of anger would manifest as cruelty. Because canon!Hashirama is angry but his anger is usually a righteous kind. I don't think RTN!Hashirama would go out of his way to be cruel, but he doesn't have the empathy of canon!Hashirama, especially to others' suffering. He enjoys fighting just a bit too much and has no qualms about killing. In his mind, he should always come first in any situation and prioritizing (or even considering) others' is effort and him going out of his way to be "nice" and the other should be thankful. Similarly if he feels any negative emotion, he won't bottle it up and swallow it down, he'll immediately address it, usually confrontationally. RTN!Hashirama is as intelligent as his canon counterpart but he doesn't suffer fools and he hates it when people underestimate him. He's pretty proud and vain, tbh.

I really don't think the above would make him the "Tobirama" of RTN verse. To me Hashirama and Tobirama have different core values and perspectives and inverting Hashirama's doesn't make it become Tobirama's, if that makes sense. This one is also wordy bc I immediately knew how RTN!Madara would be RTN!Hashirama is a bit harder to pin down. But I hope it's clear why I have doubts about the village existing...maybe if RTN!Hashirama got it in his mind as a pet project for the hell of it, that he'd be a better leader for the country and not just the Senju alone, and RTN!Madara liked the idea of no responsibility and being able to detach even further than he already was? But that's still kind of grasping for a reason.

3. Hashimada

Equally I think any Hashirama/Madara relationship would be ehhh. They definitely wouldn't have the overwhelming bond of their canon counterparts, and it could be a relationship ripe for unhappiness. The closest I can think of to making the ship work is RTN!Madara would be drawn to Hashirama's absurd level of self-confidence and able to let the casual cruelty slide off instead of getting worked up about it. In a way RTN!Hashirama is stable and predictable. If he's pretty overpowered, there's less of a chance RTN!Madara would lose him, so their relationship isn't deep but it's more or less dependable and Madara knows exactly what he's going to get. In contrast RTN!Hashirama has an audience in the form of RTN!Madara and a partner that's not going to push back against his ideas. RTN!Madara doesn't ask for much and he doesn't complain when RTN!Hashirama puts himself first. He doesn't want, or might not be capable of, the deep emotional bond their canon counterparts have. RTN!Madara wouldn't leave Konoha (if it existed) in the AU, because he doesn't really care. If someone upset RTN!Hashirama and he decided to leave to 'do it right' RTN!Madara would probably follow, maybe out of some loyalty for RTN!Hashirama but mostly because it's what's easiest.

4. Tobirama

The core of Tobirama's character to me is prioritizing logic over emotion and both a conscious and unconscious failure to realize he can't completely eliminate emotion. Tobirama loves his brother, he's curious and has a desire to find out what makes things work and is willing to bend morality to get results if it'll serve a greater good. He's very aware of the unfairness of the world but believes it's an unspoken truth of humanity and can only be mitigated through logical means, but never completely erased. He'll be the sacrificial lamb, the one that works in shadows so his brother can have his utopian dream. Despite everything, he loves his genin, the strongest bonds he has aside from Hashirama, and does try to instill in them lessons he think will help them and lead to peace and stability in the village. He's still influenced by the prejudices of his time and can never find it in him to truly forgive the Uchiha.

A RTN!Tobirama would be a man ruled by emotion. Him writing erotica all day definitely could be one way this manifests lol. But overall he's sensitive and spiritual and can't stand the idea of killing. He and RTN!Hashirama don't get along and he actively tries to avoid his brother. RTN!Tobirama has equally strong principles as canon!Tobirama, but they're pacifist in nature and while he likes his studies, he prefers to be out talking to people and learning from them first hand. He's very naive and can be easily taken advantage of and he has trouble focusing on any one thing for too long. No matter how many times this happens, he never can harden his heart or be overly suspicious of others. RTN!Tobirama would most likely be the one support peace in this AU. He embraces the Uchiha and all the Senjus past enemies with open arms, almost to a foolish degree. It'd be a bad idea if he became hokage in this AU because he's a terrible negotiator and has a bad people-pleasing streak and struggles with long-term tactics. With the exception of RTN!Hashirama, who he considers an aberration who doesn't have a soul, humans at their core all have good intentions at heart.

5. Mito

I characterize Mito as a very level-headed woman. Her marriage to Hashirama is political in nature but they grow to be good friends and she never expected to fall in love and she's glad Hashirama didn't want a traditional wife. Mito is devoted to her community work (she works hands-on with people in the village), she seeks out connections with others and, despite the distance, remains close with her family in Uzushio, constantly writing them letters. She's spiritual and follows the Uzumakis' beliefs (not gonna list this OoT spoiler lol) and studies fuinjutsu in her spare time, something she's done since she was a child. She is willing to sacrifice if it meant protecting something she considered greater than herself, much to her own personal detriment. She loves and is proud of her children and grandchildren, but if she had a choice, she would have chosen to remain childless, she finds her true calling elsewhere.

RTN!Mito, similarly to RTN!Tobirama, is ruled by emotions. She dreams of one day making a good marriage for herself and centers romance and being a mother as her ideal life, but she's extremely picky when it comes picking the perfect husband. RTN!Mito knows how much she's worth and she refuses to settle and will not even entertain the idea of an arranged marriage. She has a hard time forming long-lasting, deep bonds with other people and views starting her own family as the solution to this problem. At times she can be a bit absent-minded and unintentionally selfish, but she's not actively malicious. She blusters a lot and depending on the situation can come off as cold and uncaring, but it's only to hide the depth of her true feelings and loneliness. In this AU she would absolutely refuse to marriage RTN!Hashirama. Nothing on hell or earth, could make her change her mind.

Mito is such a blank-slate character it feels like writing an oc more than a canon character, tbh. And this is something I don't see brought up a lot but a "heart full of love" to combat the kyuubi's hatred to me has never been exclusive to romantic or familial (to children) love. *cough* I want a complex female character who's not vilified for not wanting to have children and/or regretting having them *cough* Mito's "love" was for the people of Konoha and Uzushio. My personal headcanon regarding her and Hashirama's child (I don't think she had more than one) was that she was dedicated to her son, but quickly realized being a mother wasn't her dream or something she even actively liked. The kid was well-cared for and she was dutiful towards him, but Hashirama was the parent that loved and embraced him with his whole heart and it led to some tension between Mito and her son as the kid could tell the difference and neither of them were "wrong" to feel the way they did. This is why Tsunade was shown with Hashirama instead of Mito, he was a lot more present in her life when she was young (instead of Kishi just not having made Mito as a character yet). But after Hashirama and Tsunade's dad died (and then Nawaki), she and Mito grew close but it was definitely more of a friendship or student/mentor relationship rather than a traditional grandmother/granddaughter relationship but both were satisfied with it and loved eachother. Likewise I didn't want RTN!Mito's characterization to be shallow and hit misogynistic undertones with her being an "opposite" to Mito's calm, level-headed, focused on her work/passions characterization.

6. Closing thoughts

#1: Wow this got long #2: I feel conflicted about RTN because it seemed to flip surface-level characteristics instead of deep characterizations, and ignored flaws altogether. The ones above, esp. Hashirama and Madara's, are kind of dark in a way? But that's the only way it makes sense to me...Gai and Lee caring about style and being stylish is a funny joke but if you were to actually poke and prod and say their personalities were inverted, neither of them would be top-notch ninja as we know...unless I'm just completely misremembering RTN because I realize it's been years since I saw it lol. Anyway, hope this was entertaining!

#naruto #hashimada #hashirama senju #madara uchiha #mito uzumaki #tobirama senju #asks #al-stuffy #rtn au #long post

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onzeziggy · 2 years ago

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LAURIEN THE NEW EPISODE IM SCREAMINGGGGG

Vegaspete completely blew my mind, I've been waiting all week for more and now my brain is splattered against my wall like- they just did that. And they really somehow made all of their interactions into the most tender thing 😭 no tattoo/wound kiss yet but yknow what there's still time

Kinnporsche agh they were the cutest! Kinn dropping everything to be a house husband with porsche. That's really all he wants huh, just a domestic life with his boyfriend. Just let him live in peace for God sake, chan can take over the main family and the brothers can all live their best lives

KIM OMG he was serving looks yet again (so was chay aswell tbh that blue hair looks great... I mean we only saw it in neon lighting but still) he's not forgiven in the slightest but all I'm saying is I'd be like that guy in the bar too - aka doing literally everything Kim says just from a look hsjsujss props to chay for staying strong

Lmao sorry for the rant I just had to let it out

Hope you've had a great day! Sending lots of hugs ❤

Caitlin ahhh sorry for only replying just now, but my exams are finally over so here I am to scream back about my current favorite gays sksisks

No but Vegaspete?! They- they did that… I would have never expected for Pete to make the first move (but I’m so glad he did and the other thing he did as well omg) and for it to be so intense and so tender at the same time. Vegas’ soft kisses ended my whole entire career and Pete looking up at him like that the whole time, I’m fine. Also the preview for today’s episode and them holding hands while Vegas is caressing Pete’s one so softly 😩 we better get a spiderman kiss or wound kiss so I can yeet myself to space again.

Then our one and only husbands in love kinnporsche 🥹 They were absolutely the cutest last episode! Every time I think they can’t get any more domestic there’s Kinn being the perfect boyfriend and supporting Porsche in whatever he needs, I love them so much. They were such a happy little family sitting there outside with Chay and the bread lmao but yes, invite the other brothers as well and let Korn pay for all the lies and bullshit he’s done bc we all know he will never tell the full truth.. Also the red scene made me so emotional and knowing that tonight stuff can go wrong again, I’m not prepared 😭

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, KIM INDEED! Cat I died when he showed up, my mouth dropped to the floor and I was screaming like a baby. He looked so freaking fine and this side of him, truly superior! And MOOD! I only had one thought and it’s Kim telling me to sit down, I’d be like *i’m sat* lol. No but if he could just work some more about his communication skills and actually show Chay only the tiniest amount of care instead of acting like this little bitch always walking off, I’d help a lot hahah but hopefully we’ll see a bit more of them tonight and Kim in that white shirt serving looks once again heheh

And nooo, I smiled so bright seeing your rant in my inbox, I love love love screaming about this show and all the drama with it so if you have to let it out again after tonight’s episode please do it again hihih. I’m already gonna say good luck with all the feels for tonight lmao and I’ll see you on the other side. Many hugs back to you and enjoy your weekend Cat! <333

#my asks

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xnchxntmxnt · 3 years ago

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OMG HAPPY 2OO LUV!! ILYSM, AND YOU DEFINITELY DESERVE MORE!! AS EXPECTED I'M HERE FOR THE MATCHUP EVENT AND I'M SO SORRY FOR BEING LATE KSDJFHSDF

1 | name : amie 2 | pronouns : s/her 3 | preferred gender : doesn't really matter 4 | self-description :

— it's ya clown sho <3 anyway, i'm an ambivert but more inclined towards the introvert side. my MBTI is INFJ and i'm a Gemini. i'd describe myself as someone who's very observant? yea, i guess. i'm awkward and you know it. My favorite color is blue, specifically sapphire, but i love all pastel colors. My fav show is Chicago Medical and all the psychological and crime thrillers out there are my favorite ( silent patient is my #1 though ) I love painting, playing piano and basketball!

— what i look in a partner you ask, uh, someone who can tolerate my silence. there are times when i go quiet for a whole day, i'll barely speak, no interaction nothing. i want someone who'd not exactly 'deal with it' but 'understand it.' also, i want someone who i can talk to without any hesitation. i have a hard time opening up so i don't do it but when i do, i spill almost everything. i might cry, might have anxiety attack, i might even shout. i know it's not very healthy but i want someone who can help me with those. plus someone who i can read with please <3 cheating and not having any respect for personal space would be the major deal breaker for me

5 | gen. aesthetic : my fashion sense starts from sweats and ends in sweats. i'm a big fan of those oversized hoodies and shirts, like something really comfy. however, i do have a collection of formal wears like blazers and dress.

6 | color/s to describe myself : red, actually. if not read then blue. it switchers but red 90% of the times.

7 | fav song/s : literally everything by Chase Atlantic and The Neighborhood. However, my absolute favorites are some of the famous classical pieces like Experience by Ludovico Einaudi and Chopin's Ballade No. 1 Op 23.

8 | fav genre of music : classical music ( Beethoven, Einaudi and Chopin own my heart )

Lol this is very lengthy I'm sorry, btw congrats again!

I looked into MBTI, I looked into zodiacs, I went off of what you said

Here he is, the man, Seijoh’s do-it-all guy

HANAMAKI TAKAHIRO ur new boyfriend

There is not enough content for him, anyway

How You Met

Bear with me here

Think about this

Artist!hanamaki

You love painting? Art club.

Idk if youre actually in any art club but shhh

Anyway, it was probably some sort of community thing full of tons of different age artists (bc you’d have basketball or something after school and he had volleyball)

So like once a week on thursday afternoons everyone gets together and does all sorts of artsy stuff

Everyone listens to lo fi music (or you can bring headphones) and chit chat and just paint for a couple hours

Its in the back section of a library (bc the library near me does stuff like this its awesome) so if you want you can go read a book while you wait for things to dry

One day the person that ran it suggested you talked to the new guy

He was about your age, it was his first day, they didn't know what all he was good at, and tbh they thought you two would look cute together

Just the vibes yk

So you set up your canvas and stuff next to him and introduced yourself

And you guys just vibe to the playlist

He’s REALLY good

Compliments you a lot too

Which is fun because he’s cute so it makes you a little flustered

You find out you guys go to the same school and he’s on the VB team

And says he has a (practice) game that weekend and asks you to come if you can

Which you do

And they win! So its fun!

Matsukawa basically asks you out for him though

He’s heard all about you already

“You don't get it issei! She’s so pretty!! God, she touched my hand and I thought I was gonna die!!!!!” “the enthusiasm is new for you” “shut up asshole” (conversation from the night before)

So he walks up to you after the game and is like “Hey so,,, we’re going out to get some lunch, you wanna come?”

Makki thinks HES flirting with you and is pissed off about it

Until you all sit down for lunch and oh, the only open spot for him is next to you (since when is matsukawa willing to sit between iwaizumi and oikawa??)

He asked you out after art club that week (Mattsun threatened not to give him any more monster for the rest of the month if he didn't get the guts to do it)

General Headcanons

You date hanamaki, you're also dating matsukawa

There’s no separating them (good thing ur MBTIs work together too, especially for strong friendships)

This was literally my first thought

Good luck with both these trolls

More on that later

Of course he’s going to be worried if you go radio silent for a while, but he'll understand

There are some days he’s not gonna wanna talk either

He’s really supportive on your bad days of course

Expect a random text in the middle of the evening from him

“Hiya sweetheart, just wanted to remind you that you’re beautiful, I love you, and I hope your day is going well.”

When he’s having a bad day, the same thing is all he needs from you to keep moving

He’s a really honest person. If you want to talk to him, be prepared not to get any sugar coating. If you tell him to shut up because you don’t want advice, he will. But if you expect advice from him, expect brutally honest advice. Subtlety is not his strong suit, so when it comes to advice, he’s going to tell it like it is. He's just trying to help, yknow?

However, he’s pretty good with people, so will know how to comfort you when something is bothering you. Tea and cuddles? Gotcha. Dancing at 11pm because neither of you want to sleep yet? On it. You want him to hold you? Perfect.

He’s not like...the most touchy person? There are some things he’s really indifferent on, and other things he’s stubborn as hell with. Whatever you wanna do, though

His weakness though

⚠️this part is slightly little bit suggestive⚠️

He will randomly walk up to you and pull you against him, give you a really deep kiss, smirk and walk away like nothing happened

Like hands in hair probably almost making out and then just

Walk away

Because that’s how he kisses and it’s breathtaking every time

It’s either little temple kisses or forehead or cheek pecks or something

Or that

And probably leaves you flustered and it’s funny (to him) (and to me if I was there with you) (bc that would be funny)

Hmm I’m thinking

I’m thinking hair dye dates

He needs help doing his hair from time to time Y’know (he doesn’t he just likes spending time with you) and he wants to make it pink again

So he teaches you how to do his hair and even offers to dye yours one day

Either just a strand or the ends or everything, up to you

Imagine having twinning hair dye with makki isn’t that cute

I think it’s cute

I said ur platonically dating mattsun right

Yes you are now

He absolutely adores you and loves how much makki loves you

Probably would have asked you out if makki didn’t but he was really pushing for makki to because he was just all over you in the beginning

He wasn’t overly attached to you romantically so being friends? Perfect. Sounds great

You two get along wonderfully though like you act like siblings once you warm up to each other

Again, very brutally honest person, but a little more awkward so doesn’t know what he’s saying might come off as he’s acting like a dick

He doesn’t try to though and he does really care about you

Flat out told makki if he breaks up with you and breaks your heart he’s gonna kick his ass (makki doesn’t know he had the same (less aggressive) conversation with you)

Tbh all of the VBC at seijoh loves you

Oikawa loves talking to you he thinks you’re great for makki

Gets you in on he and makki and mattsun’s antics

Iwa thinks you’re good too he just doesn’t know you as well

I think that kunimi would like you (he was almost a runner up--)

Kindaichi too

The first years just think you’re cool even if they won’t say it out loud

Seijoh VBC loves you

You got mattsun’s approval

And hanamaki loves you with literally everything in his life

You’re pretty set with your strawberry baby huh

Date Night!

SLEEPOVERS

I was waiting for some matchup to come along that gave me sleepover vibes

In a perfect world where you could do sleepovers with your bf because most parents would,,,not let that happen

Imagine…

He shows up at like 7:00 after practice, pizza in hand because he picked up dinner

You two eat, chat about your day, he probably scarfs down half the pie bc it’s after practice ofc he’s hungry

So when you guys are done eating you head up to your room

And make pillow fort

It’s mandatory

Different design every time, but there’s a pillow fort nonetheless

And then when there’s just enough room for the both of you to climb in

You get a blanket and a couple pillows and one of your phones or laptops or whatever and watch a movie and cuddle

When the movie is over you guys break out the face masks

You ever wonder why he has such great skin? It’s thanks to you (or if you don’t have masks, he picks them up on the way home from practice)

But anyway you guys talk shit about people for a while and sit with the masks on (it’s usually him talking about how Oikawa is a bitch as much as he loves him) (or about whatever he and Mattsun were talking about lately)

You both get chances to vent while the masks sit on your face and you just vibe with music (usually that you pick) (he listens to like,,,meme songs and like CORPSE yk)

After masks you guys make/get some snacks and munch on those during another movie but this time you’re in comfy jammies and more relaxed Y’know

Less paying attention to the movie you’ve seen a million times and just vibing in each other’s presence and it’s just really sweet

Fall asleep on his chest

Let him fall asleep on yours

Either way, you’ve got him whipped for you he loves you

Not that he doesn’t already but that’s his favorite thing ever so please just let him do that

Always makes sure to tell you he loves you before you sleep too

If you fall asleep first he takes embarrassing pictures of you with your hair being a mess & you best bet he sends them to mattsun because “she’s so cute omfg” “dude” “dude what” “you’re so fuckin stupid” “?” “Whatever—good luck being whipped just tell me when you need to get a ring, k” “you’re such a jackass” “yeah yeah Gnight”

Zodiac/MBTI

Okay so I’m not doing a big long paragraph for all this BUT from what I understand, Gemini/Aquarius are really compatible, and ENTP and INFJ are known as “perfect matches” sO (I had a really hard time deciding between Atsumu and Makki because they're both ENTP)

Psst Gemini + Leo is compatible and so is INTP + INFJ,,,, so, again, asking you to marry me sho 💍💍

Aesthetic/Vibes

Playlist

Prelude and Fugue No. 1 in C major, BWV 846

Linus and Lucy by Vince Guaraldi Trio (meme song)

Sky Full Of Stars by The Piano Guys

Someone To You by The Piano Guys

Shut Up And Dance - Simply Three

Runners Up

Miya Atsumu, Tsukishima Kei

#sho — 💍#//ᴍᴀᴛᴄʜᴜᴘꜱ

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thoughts-on-bangtan · 4 years ago

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This is gonna sound dumb. I'm a JKer, but Vmin is making my head spin. Do you think it's possible both JK and Tae are in love with JM? Tokyo video, hints of living together, the way JK looks at JM like he's his world. The way Tae looks at JM like he's his world. The songs Tae wrote. SN confirmed what I already suspected. It's about JM. The tension JK & Tae had and JM being the one to lie to JK/set up them talking seems sus. Its making me wonder if JM is in the middle. Vmin's wrecking my ship LOL

One thing I want to get out of the way right away is this—this is the last time we’ll answer a question that concerns another ship. Our blog is supposed to be about vmin, namjin and BTS as group, and while we are all for everyone shipping whatever they like, I’d prefer to not talk about other ships on our blog. Not because we don’t like them, we don’t, but because the only ship we see as having true potential to be real is vmin, and perhaps namjin, and that’s it. Therefore, there isn’t really a point for us to talk about other ships in a romantic sense at all. If someone would like for me to talk about JinKook, for example, I’d gladly do it (I adore their bond and dynamic) so long as it isn’t meant as the romantic ship but the friendship between those two.

The only reason I’m replying to this, and a second mildly “similar” ask, is because it, in a way, plays into what I recently said about JK here. That’s it. So, now that that’s out of the way, the actual reply:

Let’s put it like this—it doesn’t sound dumb, necessarily, and the fact that as someone who ships a different pair you can still acknowledge that perhaps another might be true, that shows that you see things much more realistically than some others do. But, at the same time, I can’t agree with your statement, not because I don’t like your ship (quite honestly your ship has never even for a second made me go “huh?”) but because it would create an awful situation within the maknaes and I don’t think there’s any kind of hint for that. At least not in a romantic sense.

A while ago Admin 2 wrote a reply in which they argued that JK might simply be a vmin ally, as in that he helps them shield their private life and relationship from prying eyes because he loves his hyungs and all three of them know that the two main maknae ships are powerful “tools”. Here, again, it’s important to differentiate between ships and the real-life bonds between the members.

More below the cut because, as always, this got very long:

Do I think JK is in love with Jimin, or has been at any point in time, romantically? No.

From all the arguments you’ve mentioned, the one that stuck out to me the most was “he looks at JM like he’s his world”, which might simply be a shipper bias. We all have that. But I especially think it happens a lot with JK. While I’ll admit he does look at Jimin with deep admiration, it’s also true that he does the exact same thing with Namjoon and Seokjin, as examples. It’s very hard to properly read someone’s eyes and body language in general and do so without a bias (especially a confirmation bias). I actually wrote a post on that a while ago.

And yes, I would make the exact same argument for vmin (and namjin) as well. While yes, there are instances where we see what some have lovingly dubbed ‘Taehyungie’s Jimin smile’ or ‘Jimin’s TaeTae smile’, I don’t take any of those as “proof” or arguments for why I think vmin might be real. We have a plethora of other far stronger and more convincing arguments, so using different looks and expressions in one or the other members eyes, to me, is a bit pointless. Just look at the way Namjoon sometimes stands off to the side and looks at all the members with this deep love and pride. Does that mean he’s in love with all of them? No, of course not. Or the way Tae might look at Hobi or Yoongi. Does that mean he’s in love with them as well? No.

(The pictures of JK looking at Tae and Jimin in the blue suit, as far as I’m aware, were at the same award show. The last picture of JK on the right is him looking lovingly at ARMY, does that mean he’s in love with all of us as well? No.)

Unfortunately a loving expression doesn’t come with a precise label of “this is a loving gaze for a person I admire deeply” and “this is a loving gaze for a person I’m in love with”, so while we can identify their expressions as something related to “love”, everything else is us projecting and speculating. At the end of the day all the members deeply love and admire each other and have moments where they look at each other like they’ve hung the stars in the sky.

So, while these moments and pictures of JK looking “lovingly” at Jimin or Tae, or Tae looking “lovingly” at Jimin, or Jimin looking “lovingly” at JK or Tae, are very cute and lovely, they don’t really represent any kind of evidence for the presence of romantic feelings, even more so when those pictures are taken when another member sings or is saying something.

Placing Jimin as “the one in the middle” would cause drama that I quite honestly think has never been an issue within BTS in such a manner. One thing that I think all members value insanely, because otherwise the group would’ve long stopped working and fallen apart (and not just come close to it for different, unrelated reasons), is communication. Yes, it’s something they had to learn over time and haven’t always been great at, but with something as big as this, they would have to do it, especially if two members would’ve realized they’re in love with the same member. To me, and I don’t want this to sound mean or like I’m belittling your feelings/thoughts, this simply sounds like something straight out of a YA novel or teen drama on TV, or one of those manipulative, agenda driven videos on YouTube.

“The tension JK & Tae had and JM being the one to lie to JK/set up them talking seems sus. Its making me wonder if JM is in the middle.” This I think is a bit of a misinterpretation on your part, which I totally get, there were a million ways in which people interpreted this moment and perhaps I shouldn’t position myself as ultimate unbiased judge, but, well, you asked for my opinion so…The way I see it is that, if we believe Tae’s and JK’s words like we should, then it makes sense that JK might’ve been a bit apprehensive about the conversation with Tae, which would’ve called for the ‘need’ to involve Jimin (after all we know that Tae asked Jimin to help him) and have him “trick” JK. But, what I think is much more likely, is that it was simply staged in such a manner for entertainment purposes. I highly doubt Tae and JK didn’t discuss wanting to have this conversation for the cameras sometime beforehand but maybe they simply hadn’t decided on when to do it, so Tae used the chance on that evening to do it. But honestly that’s basically speculations on my part, and everyone else’s.

I don’t believe for a second that the conversation in ITS was the real, proper one JK and Tae had about this topic, because that would simply be way too personal and a breech their own privacy. Much more I think it was simply a conversation set up in order to communicate the situation between JK and Tae to us, show that while they had these awkward parts between them they still want to make an effort to “fix” things, and that they are still getting along no problem. Which they obviously do. That is the most important part for me in all of it, the fact that they felt comfortable enough to share this with us, to face the uproar I’m sure they were aware it would cause within certain parts of the fandom, and yet…they still did it.

The whole scene of involving Jimin might’ve simply been for theatrics and to make it more interesting to watch (and offer for a great episode cliffhanger) and also to loosen up the atmosphere a little.

One thing though I’ve found very curious since the time when the episode aired was the question of why Jimin and Seokjin remained close by and played with a ball in the dark, of all things. But I’ll never know the answer beyond theories and that’s fine. The bottom line is that Jimin didn’t act as “the one in the middle of a love triangle” but more as a third party who has a strong friendship with JK (thus it was clear that JK would listen and follow him outside) and who’s soulmates with Tae (thus it makes sense that he would help him arrange that conversation and help him get rid of his nervousness). Admin 2’s theory is that Jimin was nearby as support for Tae and Seokjin as support for JK, since we know they share a close and deep bond as well.

As for the “living together hints”, which rely mostly (if not entirely) on the car sharing argument, I spoke about it here and here, and GCF Tokyo. Well. I know that one is used as crown argument but if we apply the same logic, I’ve seen applied to it, then we could also say that GCF Osaka was JK’s “couple vlog” for vmin, since they were the main focus in that video. We could say that GCF Helsinki was him hinting at the band falling apart/breaking up since the song was a sad one seemingly talking about a relationship coming to an end and each party going a different way, one taking the ocean and one the desert. Others claim that GCF are J*k*ok specific because Jimin is the main model, but that’s something JK himself has negated at least twice to my knowledge.

Personally, GCF Tokyo has been in late 2017 while we have 2021 now. It was a moment in time where, according to some, vmin were “d*ad” and J*k*ok on the rise, but we know the former isn’t true. It was a hard time for everyone, a challenging one, and curiously enough, a few months after the Tokyo trip, Tae began working on Happy Christmas, a duet for himself and Jimin that’s very much romantic sounding and was likely meant as gift for Jimin. If he knew JK was into Jimin romantically, that his feelings might be reciprocated, that Tokyo was a romantic trip, I think there is absolutely no way he (Tae) would’ve done that.

So, all in all, while you, anon, can think whatever you like and what you think is likely, this is my opinion which can be summed up easily as: vmin are vmin and JK is their close friend, but there have never been romantic feelings from JK toward Jimin, while it seems that there are a lot of (requited) romantic feelings from Tae toward Jimin.

Admin 2 has a theory, and perhaps it’s delulu and unsubstantiated, but they want to share it anyway: We know that when Tae started filming Hwarang and the Wooga squad was formed, Tae spent quite a bit of time with them. Perhaps that has a kind of loose correlation with the timing of the Dumpling Incident and their 4am meeting at the park and all the implications of what meaning it truly might’ve had for Tae and Jimin, that he saw spending time with his Wooga squad as a form of “”escape””. The Tokyo trip was simply a gift from JK to Jimin that was meant as a kind of cheer up gesture for Jimin. I don’t think it was their romantic/intimate trip, as so many try to show it as such, because if it were so, we wouldn’t have heard so much about it because we know Jimin is a very private person. Also, if it were such an intimate thing, why would they have created so much around it in form of videos and even interviews, a whole PR thing? Shippers, of course, created this entire mythos out of their trip, a whole fantasy.

Let’s be real, some of the stories and theories being shared by some about the trip are not only impossibly unrealistic but also insane and stupid at times, since they contain twisted “facts”, agenda-based interpretations and things that are simply impossible, like them supposedly having gotten married during that trip. In a country that doesn’t have same sex marriage. Just to return to a country that, also, does not have same sex marriage. As idols.

If Jimin and JK would’ve wanted to go on a romantic, intimate couples’ trip together, I’m 100% sure we would’ve never found out about it. Easy as that.

Lastly, the way these questions are set up and thought out, this whole thing about drama and jealousy and love triangles, they sound like stereotypical “teenage girl” thinking, classic by the book like YA books and teen movies marketed toward girls. Which isn’t meant as shade against you or teenage girls, but there’s a difference between how boys act and how girls do, how of course boys and men also cause drama but it’s a different kind of drama, while this whole jealousy thing is more of a girl thing. It’s part of nearly every plot written by and for girls. And if you notice, most of those YT videos are built upon this scheme, and why is that? Because mostly girls watch it and they’re made by girls/women.

I, just like Admin 1, think that if Tae realized that there’s something romantic between JK and Jimin, Tae would’ve immediately stopped with all the romantic songs, the picture, and everything else. But instead vmin progressed the way they did, and we are where we are today.

The second ask we got is this one and it might be the first time Admin 1 truly got angry and went on a rant:

From anon: Its kinda obvious Vmin use JK to get to each other. No doubt they all have a special bond, but I noticed in one vid, JM slaps JK's ass, but turns and smiles smugly at V and V smiles, but when JM walks off, the smile fades and V tilts his head and gives JM a go to hell look. lol. V grabs JK to sing to him, but V's not looking at JK, his eyes are glued to JM. When JM walks off, V just leaves JK standing there. Jikooks cooking live V calls. JM knows V's watching and nuzzles JK's neck. Kinda obvious

Let me be frank for a moment—this is completely bizarre to me, nasty and stupid. I’m sorry. I know it makes for fantastic drama, it fuels analysis videos (which brings in clicks and thus more revenue), but IF this were at any point in time real, do you really think BTS would still be BTS today? Do you really think the members would be as close as they are today? Do you really believe something as ridiculous as this happening in real life would fly? That Namjoon, as leader, as well as their managers and team, would allow for something like this to happen? And perhaps that last question might sound weird to you, but it’s true.

Also “I noticed in one vid” this fascinates me, and also confirms everything I need to know about this ask—I know where theories like this come from and I think I’ve made my stance on it clear in a previous reply, but I’ll repeat it one more time: analysis, theory and compilation videos are manipulative, inherently biased and agenda pushing and, in most cases, have zero connection to real life. They create bizarre scenarios and theories that push ideas of jealousy, betrayal, and powerplay because that’s what brings in the clicks, because people love drama, because that means things are happening and that’s exciting. But, with a band as big, kind, humble, and beautiful as BTS? That’s rude, disgusting, and presents the members as the exact opposite of who they are as people.

Things that happen on stage are, in many cases, preplanned “fan service” meant to entertain the audience. A split-second facial expression or supposed “mean eyes” between members are usually a bias reading or might simply have a completely unrelated cause, depend on the angle you watch the moment from, and a billion other factors that have nothing to do with drama, jealousy or any such nonsense.

Presenting the maknaes, and especially Tae and Jimin, the way you do, do you know what that would make them? Abusers. It would mean they abuse their position of seniority over JK and use him for sick games, knowing that age hierarchy wise he wouldn’t be able to “defend” himself quite the way same age friends would between each other, or an older member. It presents Tae and Jimin as evil, nearly vile, and toxic, like they see JK only as a toy to be used for some kind of game between each other, and that is truly disgusting and uncalled for.

Also, all of this erases JKs autonomy and place in the band, as artist and human, and presents him as just a toy to be used and played with, which again is the same thing shippers also do with him. I have a whole post about it. Read it and maybe think about everything you just said again and why you did so.

I don’t know what the point of this ask was, but for future reference—we will never answer such an ask again and I will not allow such ideas any kind of space on this blog.

That’s all.

Admin 2: Everything that happens on stage during concerts is more or less preplanned by the members. We know that vmin love roleplaying. I’ve noticed that in their interactions on stage they occasionally also use some elements of their roleplays. I wouldn’t be surprised (I think I know which video you are talking about, I’ve seen it) that what’s shown in that video is one of those typical vmin moments/behaviors. Especially if the video you mean is the one I’m thinking about is the same video that ends with JK standing between Jimin and Tae and while they bow, he brings Tae’s and Jimin’s hands together, which would mean there are no hard feelings at all and that JK is consciously involved in it all.

We should also remember that Tae interacts and does fanservice with him, so why do people not suspect that Tae also uses Jin for his “games” with Jimin? Or when Jimin does something with Namjoon, that he does that in order to make Tae jealous? Because we know it’s all planned and done on purpose for fans and there is no space or reason for anyone to do jealous or “use” another member for anything like what you suggested.

If there really were a reason for Jimin and Tae to want to make each other jealous or anything else, it wouldn’t happen in places where we see it, wouldn’t be happening on stage during a BTS concert since it would threaten their image. What happens on stage has no correlation with their private life, as in, that you don’t take your issues on stage.

Think about Burn The Stage and the conflict between Tae and Jin. Namjoon at the time wasn’t mad at Tae for bringing up the issue, he was merely mad because he’d done so just before going on stage, meaning that hurt feelings would go on stage with them and it could interfere with their performance and interactions. Knowing that, would Jimin and Tae do what you claim they did? No. If they interact and do things with JK on stage, none of it is meant as a way to “get at” another member or to create jealousy, it’s simply entertainment, fanservice, things meant to get a reaction out of the crowd. They are professionals. And such behavior has no space on a stage during a professional concert carried out by artists who are professions.

#answered ask #answered ask by admin 1 #answered by admin 2 #Maknae dynamics #jungkook #jimin #taehyung

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theoi-crow · 3 years ago

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This isn't an ask, but I wanted to share some Ares positivity with you! Last night, I was woken up at literally 3 in the morning and was honestly annoyed because it kept happening, but I felt suddenly compelled to do a tarot reading, so I dragged my drowsy ass out of bed and made my way over to my tarot decks. I felt a very strong masculine presence/energy that was, like, all around me; it's kind of hard to describe, but it was almost like someone was embracing me or watching very closely over my shoulder to see what I was doing. At the time, I was too tired to really recognize who it was, but looking back, it was definitely Ares lmao, which was actually really comforting because I've had very few interactions with him, despite establishing a new connection with him. It was also really comforting because when I first began worshipping him, I felt bad because I kept having nightmares where he'd be in it. It was linked directly to my trauma with father figures, so it's not like it doesn't make sense, but I always felt bad because I actually really love Ares and think he's super cool. I've heard so many good things about him and had really good experiences with him during our few previous encounters, so whenever I'd have one of those nightmares, I'd kind of bear myself up for it, since he already gets an unwarranted reputation due to his surviving myths (the more negatively framed ones, I mean).

Anyway, it was nice to have such a strong, guiding, comforting presence with me as I did my readings. I did a total of four, but I'm only gonna mention three. The first was just a free reading, letting the cards say whatever they needed to say, and basically, the person trying to communicate with me (presumably Ares lol) was telling me that I'm finally on the right track towards trauma recovery! You have no idea how big of a deal this was for me, as I've been struggling for a few years now to get on the right course, but whenever I tried focusing on recovery and on myself, another super traumatic event would occur. It was like an endless cycle, but this reading was reassuring me that the cycle has been officially broken! I legit almost cried, and if I hadn't been so sleepy, I probably would have.

The second reading was telling me that the next reading would give me information that'd help me avoid some kind of emotional/mental disaster. It said that I'll take the information I've been given and apply it, and it reassured me that I was going to be ok. It told me to trust in my Gods and my supports, which was something I needed to hear, and even suggested I'd be better off in my life moving forward. It was very positive and reassuring to hear that!

The last reading I'll mention was me asking for specific advice on a situation where a crush revealed their feelings to me, and I don't feel the same. I was feeling really conflicted because they gave me bad vibes but I thought I was just being paranoid or something and was being too harsh, since this isn't really someone I know well. Well, the first four cards straight up confirmed that my intuition was correct and that if I got into a relationship with this person, it would end very poorly for me. It told me that it'd be a new trauma for me, so obviously I wanted to avoid that. I asked how to avoid the situation, and the first few cards reassured me that I was already on the path I needed to be on to avoid this but that they just wanted to stress the importance of distancing myself from this person. It then gave me a really detailed plan of action on how to go about resolving the issue while causing the least amount of drama possible. It was so reassuring to have a plan and really made me feel protected, heard, and looked out for. I was very grateful for that reading because it made me feel so much better about the whole situation, especially because this person follows the same gods that I do. I was really scared my gods would be upset with me for not wanting to be around them.

I'm certain that Ares is the one who delivered these messages to me, and I'm honestly so happy that he did. I feel a lot more comfortable approaching him now because I was really nervous that he resented me or something for the nightmares I was having or because I owe him some offerings for his help. I'm truly so grateful that Ares woke me up at 3 am because I'd be in a lot worse of a mood if he hadn't. Area is literally the best, and I'm so happy to finally be working with and worshipping him. ❤️

That was definitively Ares!

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makeste · 4 years ago

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I was originally going to send this message declaring my undying love for your metas and chapter reviews aND THEN - AND THEN MAKESTE - I READ THE ANSWER WHERE YOU SAID YOU WERE ARO AND THAT MAKES ME SOOOOO HAPPY. I'm aroace and it is SO FRUSTRATING to want to consume platonic or familial interaction between people and CONSTANTLY only get romantic or sexual. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR EVERYTHING YOU CONTRIBUTE

woooo up top! solidarity lol.

for me it’s like... I don’t know if “frustrating” is the word I would use, but I do wish there was more gen out there. and that’s also something I’ve felt awkward about wanting in the past, because my early fandom years took place in a time where slash was much less of an everyday commonplace thing than it is now, and liking it was still a fairly controversial thing. the internet was a much more openly homophobic place than it is now. like, picture the purity police of modern day tumblr, but if they attacked any kind of non-heterosexual relationship as being sick and perverted and wrong. that was pretty much the general vibe. this was before AO3, and people who wrote slash often didn’t post it on ff.net and only posted it to their own private blogs and/or locked and moderated communities instead just so they wouldn’t be harassed. and there was absolutely no canon representation out there at all, or next to none. it was very much a “[rolls eyes] oh the yaoi fangirls are at it again” sort of thing where non-cishet relationships in fiction and fanfiction were at best not taken seriously at all, and at worst were treated with outright scorn and disgust.

and so like, with this being a common attitude at the time, I felt guilty for not always wanting to read slash myself. like, I don’t mind reading about romantic relationships at all, but for me there also has to be some other kind of element in play as well, or else it’s just not going to click for me. if a fic is just romance, just a lot of pining and slow burn stuff without anything else really going on in the plot, I just get bored and disinterested. I almost want to use the word tired, even though I’m not sure that makes much sense. I just can’t connect to the emotions, and so I disengage pretty quickly. and so I tend to steer clear of time-honored fandom staples like coffee shop AUs or And They Were Roommates, just because for me there’s rarely anything there for me to latch onto. I like angst, but I can’t relate to “so and so doesn’t feel the same way about me”, or “I want to be with them so bad but I don’t know how to confess”, or “they’re with someone else and it hurts like crazy every time I see them and know we can’t be together”, because none of those are emotions that I have ever personally felt, and I just can’t make myself feel them. what I can relate to are things like “this person makes me feel safe”, or “I feel a strong connection to this person”, or “I trust this person more than anyone else” because those feelings aren’t exclusively romantic in nature. I can relate to closeness and caring and love and affection and trust, but what I can’t relate to is the feeling of having a single person occupy all of your thoughts all the time, and very badly wanting to be the most important thing in their life as well, and feeling incomplete otherwise.

but anyway I spiraled away from the point I was trying to get to, which is that for a long time I actually felt guilty about feeling this way. because even though it’s rare to find fanworks where gen/platonic relationships are at the center, actual canon is chock full of said relationships. and so it’s like, what right do I even have to complain when I get to read all the time about so and so being friends, but the people who actually want them to be in a relationship in the actual canon so rarely get to see that actually happen. because that much has not changed in the past 20 years, even though society has become far more accepting of LGBTQ+ relationships. most canons are still far more likely to tease a non-hetero ship -- on purpose, even, hence why queerbaiting is a thing -- than actually commit to it. and so I often feel like I have no right to voice my desire for more genfic, because genfic has never faced the same kind of scrutiny as slashfic. gen has always been acceptable, and there is plenty of canon representation of platonic and non-romantic relationships, and so it’s not something I have any business whining about.

and even now I feel fairly uncomfortable voicing this lol. I write almost exclusively genfic myself, and up until very recently, I’ve always defined gen in my head as being just a lack of romantic or sexual content, rather than being its own distinct category. I think that’s one of the reasons it took me so long to realize I was aro (that, and I’d honestly never even come across the term until just a few years ago). for me, my lack of interest in romantic affection always felt more like a lack of identity rather than an identity in and of itself. I always felt like I was missing something. and for a very long time it never occurred to me that this might be a permanent thing; I just figured, okay, I just haven’t had this feeling yet. it just hasn’t happened for me yet. but eventually it would, and I just hadn’t met the right person, or whatever. but it was never anything I particularly wanted, and I never felt like I was missing out on anything by not having it. I never felt any kind of longing for it or felt incomplete without it. I was actually perfectly content!

but because society treats romantic orientation as the norm and places such a huge emphasis on it, I still had the uncomfortable feeling in the back of my head that if I never fell in love with someone and never wound up having a relationship with someone, my life would somehow be less meaningful and whole. like, we’re raised to think that romantic love is basically the pinnacle of the human experience, the purest and truest emotion that anyone can feel. and at the same time, there’s this idea that a life without that kind of love is just sad and unfulfilling and tragic. and so for a very long time my experience with my own aromanticism was characterized by me thinking of it as a lack of something that everyone else said was very important. and it took a long time to realize that that wasn’t the case, and that it was a valid orientation all its own and not just a matter of me being deficient in some way. and that was actually such a relief to finally come to terms with. I can be whole and complete on my own and still have a rich and fulfilling human experience even if I never experience romantic love, and that’s fine. I’m not missing anything. I’m not wrong for feeling like I’m not missing anything. it’s fine to be content with just me as I am. like, holy shit. and that was such a weight off my shoulders to finally get that.

I once wrote a fic which I was and still am very proud of. it was a genfic, and it had a really intricate plot with a big twist at the very end. and there was a ton of emotion in it, and it got very intense at times, because these were two characters who cared a lot about each other and would literally die for each other if they had to, and I’d put them in a situation where that possibility was very much looming over their heads at every turn. and I really put everything I had into trying to convey that kind of bond as strongly as possible. like I poured a ton of my heart and soul into that fic. and the responses were almost universally positive and kind and made me really happy.

there was one response though, that still sticks with me to this day. it was by and large very positive, just like the others. but it ended with a single sentence that, at the time, kind of just lowkey gutted me. Not gonna lie though, would have loved some slash in there.

like, that just cut me. way more than this person actually intended, I think. I’m pretty sure they just meant it as an offhanded comment, not even a concrit or anything. just “haha would have loved it if they’d kissed though lol.” but it stung. because this was something I’d put every ounce of emotion that I could conjure up into. and even though it wasn’t mean to be hurtful in any way, to me that comment read as “this is still missing something.” because there was no romance, the fic was incomplete. the characters’ feelings were incomplete. even though I’d struggled so much to convey all of these complex emotions which to me were so real and powerful, and even though the comment even acknowledged that I had by and large done so effectively, to me the single takeaway that stuck was that the feelings were less meaningful because there was no romance.

and that felt like a failing on my part. I even apologized for it. and here we are, ten years later, and that comment still pops up in my head any time I feel the urge to talk about a popular ship which I support but which I also enjoy as just a friendship. “just” a friendship. I still feel guilt over that. I still feel this urge to overexplain that I’m not trying to invalidate the actual romantic ship. I worry that I’d be perceived as ungrateful and/or a bad ally if I ever just came out and said “I wish there was more gen” like you were able to say so freely, anon. I worry about people getting offended if I were to say “I headcanon so and so as being aroace” because it might be viewed as an attack on their ships, or as latent homophobia, or something. like I have this paranoid fear that people might take it as me being puritanical and all “oh no, icky sex” or whatever, and so I end up just never bringing it up at all.

and that’s the thing about aromanticism, though; it’s so easy to just never talk about it at all, because for so many people it is just defined as a lack of something, rather than a something all on its own. it’s so easy for it to be something you just never bring up, and which just kind of quietly exists as the boring, bland, inoffensive yet uninteresting lack of a relationship; the default blank slate that most everyone is dying to fill in as soon as possible, except for you. and I’ve gone on thinking about it that way myself for so long that I’m still struggling now to sort out how to embrace it as an actual identity. it’s something I still have a lot of work to do on I guess.

anyway! so that all got very long and rambling and personal, far more so than I intended; clearly I have a lot of pent up thoughts and feelings about this lol. I guess I probably could stand to talk about it more, since the evidence would indicate that I clearly want to. but eh, baby steps. but anyways you are super valid anon and thank you so much for the love and comments. <3

#aromanticism #meta #aromanticism in fandom #personal #long post #ask #anon ask #hey um just an addendum this is a pro aroace post NOT an anti-shipping post #just to make that clear #like you can be for one thing without bashing the other #so if you want to reblog this that is awesome and I'm grateful #but please don't use it as a launching pad for any weird toxic 'shipping is bad' takes please and thanks

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redxblueihateloveyou · 4 years ago

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Hey!! 👋🏽😄 I know you said in your last rant about SK8 and Reki and Renga that you were one of those people that always looks up and learns from others, but after your last Langa edit, I just wanted to remind you how immensely talented you are. I might have not seen your first attempts at editing, but I know how it looks like when you're barely starting something, and I'm sure everyone is proud of the progress you've made and many people looks up to you as the level of skill they want to achieve. You're doing amazing! 💖💖💖

Hi, my love!!!!!! ASDFSDFGHG that’s soooo sweet, thank you so much for saying this, it really means the world to me <3 Oh, haha I’ve deleted most of my old videos so it wouldn’t hurt anyone’s eyes lmao T_T I’m still a bit nervous each time I’m uploading my vids to the day to be honest, even with so many subs rn, but at first I really didn’t have any supporters at all and my god I sucked at this, but I guess the love for my fav ships was stronger apparently haha. So I always get silly happy at each nice comment and feedback, so thank you seriously.

I really love love love vidding, Idk why but when smth comes out the way I wanted it’s a super addictive feeling for some reason, but many times I just looked at the final result and just threw it in the trash and started over and my god how many times SonyVegas crushed and didn’t autosave the project. I’m like Suga now, I’m pressing the save button each 2 minutes, cause don’t want to lose anything xD Being someone’s inspiration is truly an honor to me, I’ve got some messages that hit me too hard. Still feels weird bc I’m like “but do you know that I can’t even use photoshop tho, how do u like me now then?” lol.

I’m always drawn to talented characters, bc they amaze me, esp the humble ones. Like those who hate Haru or Lanaga just buffle me honestly. I understand that they’re pretty and talented and everything, but they’re also the sweetest and loveliest human beings, so like...??? And I adore those who don’t whine and get what they want. I just can’t help it. I’m a strong believer in the fact that "you can do anything if you put your mind to it”. So far it worked in real life so suck it lol.

People are also saying like Langa doesn’t deserve to win this and Haru doesn’t deserve to be in Olympics, like Langa didn’t snowboard since he was 2 and Haru wasn’t swimming every day since he was born. I’m like.. and you need to check in the mirror if your face is a shade of green. BTW I’ve also been in a professional sports for quite a long time since I was a little kid, ballroom dancing and adored it back then, and I did not get jealous at ppl who were talented than me, I was watching the tapes actually with a popcorn. And oh god those large competition events when you sit there for days and give it all, but then you’re like 296 out of 1000. Why was I proud instead of being sad? Idk xD It was fun.

So thanks for liking the vid, cause I even regretted uploading it a bit yesterday. Sadly everyone already knows that we lost this fandom to the middle schoolers being extra, so they do not care for anything each episode except for this ship, so that’s what I got for posting a just Langa vid:

And etc. and that just made me sad, cause I do not like such fandoms, like it’s not even related to the video, that I’ve been making... with love. Also thanks for the "sama” title, I’m flattered, but editor only wants to vid matchablossom for now, so like there’s no need for any warnings. I’ve been in such horrendoes fandoms, that I’m immune to this. I also in fact didn’t know some keep ruining Langa’s page and saying that he steals Reki’s screen time... cause he’s aparently the only main character...? ...lmao? I didn’t even know Langa can be hated tbh. I wasn’t really ready for all the drama that followed me making a vid about him.

I’ve already deleted some comments, cause I’m like what this even has to do with the vid about Langa? No, I am not obliged to make a vid about Reki, too. What if I post a matchablossom vid, everyone will only start commenting “do renga”, cause fuck your efforts? I’m like... I hate such fanbases, seriously. I do not even know where this is going, but their fans are already pissing me off. I’m still trying hard for this to not affect my point of view about the ship, cause it’d be kinda unfair to them, but its getting harder each week istg.

And I maybe can’t take requests, but I love when some try to get me addicted on their ship with passion and great arguments. It happened to me with some nice ppl. But def not with agression and stupidity haha.

Cause apparently its one of the fandoms where you can’t NOT care for the main ship, even if you accept it for the only possible Langa ship (cause he doesn’t give a shit for anyone else, so like what’s the point), but it doesn’t do anything for you. I’m like... thanks for threatening. This will make me on board ASAP. Like it’s not the epitomy of love to me... I’m sorry? LMAO

Some anon even sent me a “you’re dense” (literally thats it) ask after that Reki ask. I was tempted to write smth like “oh I’m sorry, this is the most epic love story of my life and his character is the most complex in the world and he’s the best friend and the most inspiring human being that ever hit my screen. can I become undense now? xD”. But you know I do not know if they’d realise the sarcasm and my pride sadly never allowed me to sell my life values for a bunch of 12 years olds to love me lol

My sister always laughs and jokingly says “but you’d probably get much more subs if you made a vid about this or that, but at what price that would be lmao”. Cause yeah, I never could make myself vid smth I do not like, cause I love vidding and do not want it to be associated with things I do not like, plus it’ll most likely turn out ugly, if I do not care. My mom says that she can feel love I put in my shipping vids that’s why she loves them. I really don’t think she’s wrong. But that also kinda makes me an idiot technically, cause I’m not into many of the popular ships, and some popular animes I just find really basic.

Also I’m like 100% sure it ain’t happening, but even if they miraculously suck each other’s dicks while sitting on a skate board, I can still have the rights not to care at the end. Like did I sign some form where I’m obliged to love each and everyone canon gay ship even if it’s not what I like? Like gay is not the type of love in relationships. You can only care about his ass like Lan Zhan for example or you can only care about your ass. Like that’s different types of relationships, and whatever you like you like. So get all the way of people’s backs, please.

Also do ppl know that you do not need to be blind to the bad sides of the characters in your ships? Or you just gonna be like “I suddenly can’t see” for forever.

So really thanks for such wonderful message and liking the video and for the boosts when I need them and not being an ass to me if I’m not being obsessed with smth, when you like it. (like I think we have different ship in bnha, right? but we’re still doing great tho, thanks for being an angel <3)

I still didn’t expect this becoming a Voltron 2.0. situation tho. We in our twenties see everything differently, I guess. I do get extra about “their love is everywhere”, but I do not get extra by anonymously attacking ppl, threatening creators and yelling “queeerbating psychotic blind assholes if these two aint fucking by the end of the season I’m shaving my head and jumping out of the window and shoot the director. you do not ship it HARD? YOU DUMB FUCK. THAT’S THE BEST LOVE STORY IN THE WORLD”. Like damn, take your blinders off and see the world, kid. Firstly, it’s definitely not, secondly, ppl see love differently in general and at each age too.

Ah, also you must kill Adam, cause he’s a pedo apparently. Like he ain’t even a threat to your ship, unless you’re blind, but they’re still at it, like they do not know that this kind of age difference is literally nothing for an anime? And that there are canon ships with a huger age difference left and right, too. It’s like its their first time approaching an anime or smth. Like in anime world character can literally kill 1000 ppl with his bare hands and bathe in their blood and we can still stan them, depends on their story, ok? Also Langa couldn’t care less for his advances, so like separate Adam from your ship pls. Like, fuck off, if someone is interested in his character. Yeah, he’s a weirdo for reasons, but anime kind of weird do not apply to real life. Stop acting like you’re some purist, when later you’re gonna ship smth else and it suddenly will not apply. Also rules do not apply to animes, everyone knows they do not apply. These are not western cartoons, my god. And 24 years old flirting with 16 year old is defiinitely not the weirdest shit anyone has ever seen in the anime. Chinese BL has characters who were 14 and 30 when they met and happily married. Also FICTION is not life. Literally no one cares. If you’re scared for your saint eyes, do not watch animes, you’re gonna have a heart-attack from what you can see there. Also we’ve seen gayer bromances in animes, who are just bromances, so pls do not shoot anyone if it’s not canon.

So basically I was kinda pissed yersterday, cause fuck them for ruining the tag, but after chatting with my hommies and your ask, I’m okay again, I just have to avoid this fandom and stick to a tight community xD. I just got used to my nice fandoms and forgot for a bit about the precautions you need to take if you’re in one of those. You know. Who make a circus out of lgbt, instead of supporting it, and make other ppl hate being in fandoms.

P.S. sorry for this partially unrelated rant, your messages really always make my heart bloom, so thanks for supporting me, and I know you’re proud of my progress, too <3 and this makes me happy. LY

#answered #heavensweetheart #sk8 #sk8 the infinity #in such moments you for a moment don't even want to vid this fandom anymore #like seems more pain in the ass than joy #but then denying smth bc of stupid ppl is also dumb #so its like I need to breathe and not go to the tags or twitter #sjws ruin everything #anime #I'd rather go spend some time in my chill fandom with less ppl but more adults

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battletowered-archived · 4 years ago

Text

Coming Out

||Drabble! No Trigger warnings apply as far as I know, but it’s decently long so its under a cut lol. Happy Pride Month Everyone, Ily||

Leon wrung his hands nervously, biting his own lip as he looked down at the paper in front of him-- the scribbly handwriting on it was probably only legible to him. That wasn’t mentioning the amassing pile of crumpled papers and scribbled out notes that were on his desk and scattered next to the wastebasket to the side of him.

He'd been spending some time researching all of this-- he wanted to set a good example. He might not be Champion anymore but that didn't mean he didn't still have people who followed him online and who looked to him to be a good influence on his younger fans. He'd had to remind himself a few times of why he wanted to do this-- He wanted to be able to finally be wholly himself. He wanted to try and offer comfort to others who were in his position, especially with his younger fans-- he wished he'd had someone there to talk to him when he was that age. He'd figured most of it out on his own with the occasional help of the Internet after he’d realized that he was starting to develop crushes on his male friends, too.

He just wished he could have a practice run. He guessed he sort of had already-- his mom knew. She'd found out after an awkward conversation when he was seventeen where he’s outright asked if he was gay. She’d been accepting, thank Arceus, but that had been the most awkward and uncomfortable conversation he’d probably ever had. Not to mention he’d fumbled so badly-- “I’m not gay but I’m… not quite straight either” is what he’d said, if he could recall. He’d eventually explained what he’d meant by that, but that first day he’d been so relieved that he’d cried for like an hour in his mom’s arms. That wasn't exactly what he wanted to do here, and he wouldn’t feel like he’d succeeded if that’s just what he got out here, he was to the point in his life where he knew he had no reason to be ashamed of it but that didn’t stop the anxiety that was bubbling in his guts.

A practice run… Oh, Wait… it was getting late but he didn't think she'd have gone home by now. Plus she'd always said he could call her if there was trouble… Does this count as trouble? He hesitated for only a second longer before he reached over and pressed the speaker call button on his phone, trying to even his breathing. No going back now.

"Amelia? Could you come here for a minute? I need your help, please."

-_-_-_-

"...so, uh. Will you help me?" Leon kept his eyes firmly locked on his hands, where his fingers were locked tightly. It hadn’t been graceful, but having notes in front of him helped a bit. He could still hear the nerves in his voice, though.

"Awh, Leon, baby, is this why you've been nervous all morning?" Amelia sighed. "You're all worked up over this?" Leon's hands flexed a little tighter.

"Yeah I… I… I'm afraid." He chanced a glance up at her, only to see that she was giving him a kind look-- it reminds him so much of his mom.

"Leon, you know this doesn't change anything you've achieved. People will still love you no matter who you love. Sure there might be a few people who can't accept that but they're the ones that are the problem. Not you." Leon can't help the relieved whine that escapes his throat and he honestly feels like he could cry. "Of course I'll help. Just tell me what you need me to do."

Leon laughs, and ducks his head, trying to stop the tears that are starting to well.

"I'm sorry I don't know why I'm crying…" Leon sniffles, his throat feels tight. He hears Amelia shift in her seat, but is surprised when he feels her place a comforting hand on his shoulder. He glances up at her and she offers him the tissue box from his desk. He smiles a watery smile at her and takes a few to dab at his eyes. "I should be excited, right?"

"Well, not necessarily. You just said you're scared, I think that's pretty reasonable. It's a big change." She rubs his back softly, and offers him another motherly smile. "Even a good change can still feel strange and scary. I was that way when I was getting ready to ask my husband if he wanted to try and have our son. He'd told me plenty of times that he wanted kids but it's still something new. It's ok to be a little afraid of it."

"But what if I'm not ready for this? What if I don't know enough yet-- or what if someone starts asking me questions and I don't know what to say." Leon can feel the panic swelling in him again. "Or what if--"

"Leon." Her tone is strict-- enough to make him shut his mouth. "Being pansexual is part of who you are, right?"

"Yes."

"And you want people to know that?"

"Yeah."

"Then you're ready. Nobody expects you to have all the answers. You're only human. I’m not telling you to force yourself if you’re not ready but... if you're already sitting down and thinking about how to do it and imagining the ifs, ands, and buts about what you're gonna do after the fact… Well, do you think you'll be happier and feel better?"

"I know I will…"

"Then I think you're ready. You've got this bad tendency to overthink everything with that head of yours." She smiles at him again and ruffles his hair gently to punctuate that point. “I think you should do it if it’ll make you happier. You can’t live your life always doing everything for everyone else. Sometimes you need to do something just for you because you know it’ll make you feel better and make your life better.”

"I… okay. You're right. I want to do this. For me...” Leon raises his hands again, wiping at his eyes and nose with the tissue and trying to breathe. His leg is still bouncing nervously, but he really does think she’s right. He’s been thinking about how much easier it would be to just… be after he came out. It felt like he always had to lie by omission and it was getting so hard. It felt like it hurt him a little bit every time he had to pretend that this wasn’t him. “Let me just... Let me clean up my face before I do but I'm… I think I'm ready. Thank you."

“Of course, Leon. Just tell me how you want me to help.”

-_-_-_-

In the late evening of June 13th, 2020, on Leon's social media there's a video post-- the first video post he's made in a little over a year along with a caption that just reads "I'm finally talking about something I've wanted to for a long time."

The video starts focused on Leon at his desk, eyes ever so slightly red as he shuffles through the papers on the desktop and looks up at the camera.

"I've been thinking about making this video for a long time. About if and how and when I wanted to do it. If I would be able to get my words right or if I had to do it a certain way but...I was helped to realize today that I can. I don’t need to keep putting myself aside because I’m afraid of what people will think of me. I’m safe to be here and to do this, and even if it’s scary for me that’s alright. I’m allowed to talk about myself.

I want to be perfectly honest because I've felt, for a long time, that I haven't been able to be. Because I wasn't ready, and I was afraid but I… know that there will be people who still love me and are there for me and I'm so thankful that they’re a part of my life. And if me, doing this, can help to comfort and validate someone else then I’m glad, but… I think I need to do this for my peace of mind.”

He pauses, looks down at his notes for a moment, and takes a deep breath. Letting his eyes close for a moment. It's a brief few seconds before he looks back up to the camera in his rotom phone.

"I'm sure it's no secret that I've been an ally to the LGBTQ+ community for years. I've participated in Wyndon pride several times in the past, and I have many friends and peers who are a part of this community. There is nothing to be ashamed about for loving whoever you love-- and there never will be. It’s an amazing community full of brave people, and it’s one of the most loving, helpful, and compassionate communities that I’ve ever had the privilege to be a part of, and I… really owe it to myself and to my friends and family who have supported me to be honest.

So… so today I'd like to tell you all that I'm pansexual. I love people regardless of their gender. I can develop feelings for people who are men, or women, or wherever they might identify on the gender spectrum. I’m sure that’s a surprise to some people, and probably not a surprise to others, but it’s something that I’ve known is a part of who I am for a long time.

I've never been quite sure of how I wanted to say it, but I don't want to keep this part of me a secret, not when it’s something that makes me feel like I can’t be who I am and especially not when it's something that someone else might need to hear to know that they're not alone. I have nothing to be ashamed of-- I’m happy with who I am and I’m so thankful that I know that I have people who are in my corner to support me for who I am.

And even if me saying this might be for me, right now, if it helps even one other person to feel a little more comforted about who they are then I’m glad. I’ve been so lucky to have been accepted in the LGBTQ+ community from the very first day, even if I wasn’t out, and I genuinely hope that I can continue to help and support others. People who might have been in my situation, or people who are out, or people who haven’t been given the privileges that I’ve had and who need them. I just… want you to know that even if you’re not there yet that I’m proud of you. You’re strong, and I’m proud of you even if you’re not able or ready to be out yet. And I owe a massive thank you to the people who have and who continue to support me. You inspire me and give me more courage than you could ever know.”

#Leon || Keep your eyes ahead and your mind open #Drabbles || Written Histories #||he did it im proud of him||

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world-of-fire-and-flight · 2 years ago

Text

C'mon now, Baron's not that bad, just give the poor former villain a chance, Supes 😢

Superhero, while running in the opposite direction to avoid the immediate confrontation of my keyboard smacking into their face: NEVER!

That's spot on! Can Baron read minds? 🤯

I've been banned from writing characters with telekinesis, so no. But he is electrokinetic!😇

Does Superhero like "save me from myself" fiction? 👀 Fun if their favorite character is exactly like Baron 😂

WELL THEY DO NOW! I can't wait for the irony to hit them in the gut😈

Also, those two talking - about their crushes like they're at a sleepover XD Starting their roommate BFF vibes strong!

With any luck these two actually become friends by the end of this. I think that'll have to be the plot's doing, you know the plot, the plot revolving around the mole, that plot🤣

That's quite the... fun name! :-D Could be a good name for a brand of spy themed crackers! "Everything is going according to plan, now open the safe, Polly." "No!" *sigh* "Does Polly want a VaultCracker3000? "Yes!" "Open the safe first, Polly." *sigh* Polly gets off their perch and disables the alarm system, cracks the safe, opens the door "Good, except... Polly always wants two crackers, you're not the real Polly! Tell us where the real Polly is, you lying egg of a cockatoo!" Polly: *squints their eyes and removes their disguise*

OMG🤣 SEND HELP I'VE LAUGHED SO HARD I'M DYING! Yeah I didn't know how to name his thingamabob so I went with the old staple and called it a day

(The old staple: simple name + 3000. Idk why the number is 3000 but it's a running gag in cartoons I think??? Idk I got it from somewhere LOL)

*blinking man meme* 🤨 You what? 😳 Really? Really really? Well, that's... new information... 👀

..........was that a headcanon I forgot to make canon????? Whoops. Either way it's canon now and YES YES YES HE DID! We're talking about the same Villain who gave lollipops to the children present at the bank robbery. Baron's such a sap at heart and I 100% support it....even though he literally could've just showed up at Mirth's apartment anytime with cupcakes but noooOOOooo he needed a "reason" (and probably didn't want to cause her more problems considering the fact that she was suspended for their whole Christmas thing)

But now's your chance to apologize and turn over a new leaf! 🍃💞 You'll get rid of those bad villain habits and form new, more heroic ones in no time! Like listening to cryptid podcasts on long drives lol

YES! Okay but lemme just run a thing by you: Supes and Baron become friends and after all the house arrest and community service stuff is done and Baron's officially reformed or whatever, THEY START THEIR OWN CRYPTID SEARCH AND DOCUMENT IT ON A VLOG/PODCAST!!!👽

(I'd like to go on record as saying that I don't listen to podcasts, though a friend will send me one about big foot every now and then and if I'm not doing anything yeah I'll listen to it but I'm also really good at zoning out so I miss 90% of it anyway.)

Well, Supes did ask you if you liked cryptid podcasts. Maybe they'll listen of you ask them to change it?

Baron, fifteen minutes (give or take) after asking Supes to turn the radio on: FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING HOLY CAN YOU PLEASE PUT ON SOMETHING ELSE? HOW LONG CAN ONE PERSON TALK ABOUT THE ANATOMY OF A CHUPACABRA?

Supes: You haven't heard anything yet. This guy once had a whole rant about Jupiter's red spot and how it's a government cover up for NASA.

Baron: Wait what? That's...I don't think that's possible....

Supes: He was actually pretty convincing. But yeah I'm not really listening either. *turns on something that's objectively worse than a cryptid podcast*

Baron: *internal screaming, possibly tearing up in frustration*

Supes: *humming along and eventually starts singing along off key even though they can actually sing*

(Yes I did just decide that Supes is a good singer. Dunno what that fun fact's actually gonna do for me, but it's there now😂

Uhhhh— my mind is going places and making predictions and I don't like it 😰

Yeah same! I haven't really decided Baron's backstory yet but it's ✨tragic✨

Speak for yourself! I've been on long car rides before (30mins is nothing though, like, really, it's pocket change) and poor Baron is handcuffed too?!?!?! I thought it was just one of his hands but it seems like both? Can he even lie down in the backseat? Gosh, I'm just feeling so sorry for him Not Super though, they're being a very big dingle (*audience gasps and covers their ears and looks at me offendedly* me: I'm sorry, sorry! ☹️)right now and they better up their game if they want me to like them again :/ Give Baron a neck pillow or something! I'm just so concerned for this former criminal! Oof, I hate uncomfortable car rides so much! (Yes, I know you meant long as in the annoying way, but if it feels physically long too then oof 😣)

I'm thinking this car ride is at least an hour and a half, maybe longer like two and a half only because they have to get from the city out to the backwoods which means going through suburbia/ubran outskirts and that's just without traffic. (Though I completely agree with you: their ride isn't really all that long. Anything less than 8 hours is nothing to me anymore.)

Baron absolutely deserves to be treated better! Petition for Superhero to throw protocol out the window (as they're prone to do anyway) and let Baron enjoy the road trip!

I liked the change of POV! 🤩 You're right, Mirth deserves the rest, and it was fun reading these two's thoughts!

Mirth: *took a long bath* *put her favorite pair of pjs on* *bundled herself up in bed* *hasn't moved since*

She'll probably order take out and then go straight back to her bed and not move again, just relishing in her freedom.

I'd also like to imagine that she has a fleeting thought about Baron and Supes that basically boils down to: "Gee, I hope they're getting along okay....but if one of them kills the other I won't have to be caught between them for three years so......maaaaaaayyybbbeeeee...." *immediately feels guilty and checks her phone to see if there's a message from Supes*

Mirth's Ebenezer: Part 8

A/N: Okay so after taking a little break from this and planning some things out in my head, I decided to switch up the POV a little bit to give Mirth the rest she deserves. Enjoy!

Warnings: Swearing, competitive nature, insecurity, bickering, manipulation, reference to past bank robbery, reference to self-harm/self-destruction because Baron’s bored, one joke about torture

My Masterlist | Mirth’s Ebenezer series masterlist | Taglist Info

Superhero’s jaw clenched as they pulled away from the front curb of Mirth’s apartment building. Thankfully, Baron remained silent in the back seat, focused solely on their ice cream. They hoped he didn’t get any on the seat, or that they’d have interact much at all. Superhero could deal with getting ice cream stains out of the cloth seats if it meant they didn’t have to speak to Baron in the interim.

Focused on the road ahead, Superhero’s grip tightened on the steering wheel with each scrape of Baron’s spoon against the bottom of his ice cream dish. Gritting their teeth, Superhero attempted to tune the noise out, but unfortunately it just wasn’t possible in the utter silence of the truck.

They missed Mirth.

At least with Mirth around they wouldn’t be suffering alone…Or really at all. Mirth was a good friend, even at her grumpiest—a fact Superhero had learned during her unofficial house arrest over the last few weeks. They never imagined there were things about their dearest friend and colleague that they didn’t already know, and yet the universe had proven them wrong. Mirth couldn’t sleep without the sound of a T.V. or podcast playing in the background. She used up all the hot water whenever possible. She always smelled like cinnamon, something they hadn’t noticed until they’d face planted into their couch after one particularly rough patrol and caught a whiff of the warm scent. At first they hadn’t known Mirth was the reason for the mysterious appearance of the cinnamon scent and it drove them crazy for days as they started to smell it more and more. They only realized it was Mirth when they were sitting beside her in the courtroom. For weeks, the source of the phantom scent had evaded them, tickling their nose with forgotten memories and comfort, only to lead them to Mirth.

It wasn’t fair.

“Jeez, you’re gonna scare the devil with a scowl like that,” Baron said, breaking Superhero from their thoughts. “I mean honestly, Supe, I haven’t even done anything and you’re already angry.”

“I’m not angry,” Superhero said through gritted teeth. Their eyes flicked to Baron in the rearview mirror only to find that he was staring out the window at the waning cityscape. “You’re just annoying.”

Baron chuckled. “Yeah sure, blame the innocent bystander. You just miss Mirth and don’t want to be stuck with me.”

“I don’t miss Mirth,” Superhero grumbled. Again, Superhero’s eyes flicked to their rearview mirror. This time, Baron was staring right back at them with a smirk on his face. They focused back on the changing road in the hopes that that was the end of it all. The last thing Superhero needed was some wants-to-be-reformed villain meddling in their personal business.

“So you look at all of your colleagues with hearts in your eyes?”

Superhero’s lips pursed. “I don’t look at Mirth with heart eyes.”

“Yeah okay,” Baron laughed. “Whatever helps you sleep at night.”

“And what about you?” Superhero nearly hissed, merging lanes to get on the highway.

Baron’s cuffs clinked. Superhero quickly glanced at them again to make sure they hadn’t managed to weasel their way out of them, but instead they’d found that Baron had shifted, angling himself more toward the window with his back mostly to their side of the truck.

“What about me?”

Superhero smirked. So they had struck a nerve.

“Like you don’t look at Mirth with pleading, ‘please save me from myself’ eyes,” Superhero explained. “It’s no secret that Mirth has a good heart. What’s to say you aren’t using that to manipulate her?”

“I’m not!” The cuffs clinked again. Superhero glanced back just in time to see Baron jerk forward and lean over the center console, straining to stretch his arms far enough from where the cuffs held him by the door to actually do so. “Mirth is the last person who deserves to be used like that.”

“Oh, so you admit that there’s people you would manipulate then?”

“That’s not—” Baron sputtered. “I didn’t say that! I just meant that Mirth deserves better than that, no wait that’s not any better…”

He huffed, falling back in the seat with an oof. “You’re a real jackass, you know that?”

“It’s part of my job description,” Superhero smiled secretly to themselves.

Baron didn’t respond. A quick glance back at them in the rearview mirror proved that he’d withdrawn into himself with a scowl on his face.

Good. Now Superhero could focus on the truly important things like getting to the safe house in one piece, getting to the safe house without actually killing Baron in the process, and—arguably the most important thing—figuring out if they really stared at Mirth longingly.

Did he manipulate Mirth?

He hadn’t meant to, but damn it, if Superhero’s words hadn’t wormed their way into his insecurities. Of all the people Baron had hurt or manipulated or let down, he hoped Mirth wasn’t one of them. He really hadn’t meant to if that’s what happened.

Trapped by his spiraling thoughts, Baron’s leg bounced absentmindedly.

Mirth was the reason why he was getting this second chance at all. She’d told him exactly what to do that night after the bank robbery. He’d only gone to apologize because he knew he’d screwed up trying to get her to open the bank vault for him…even though he easily managed to do it himself thanks to the VaultCracker3000. All he’d really wanted that day was to see her again because—well, because he’d enjoyed spending Christmas with her. It was the first time in a long time that he’d been around someone who’d made him feel like he belonged. Yes, he considered his henchmen to be friends, but they were his subordinates. They treated him like a boss. And the other villains? The morally corrupt or questionable vigilantes?

Hanging around them only led to more trouble than it was worth or worse: a fight to the death for the other had.

But that Christmas…after so many alone and angry…

Mirth had gotten suspended because of that night, because of him. And then he’d schemed the bank robbery just to see her again (and because his henchmen were getting anxious since they hadn’t done anything big in months)…

“Can you please turn on some music or something?” Baron whined. His stomach clenched, rolling over itself in discontent as the realization that he had manipulated Mirth sank into him.

“Good idea,” Superhero muttered. Clearing their throat as if Baron wasn’t supposed to hear the compliment, Superhero asked a little louder, “You like cryptid podcasts?”

“At this rate I’d take a description of watching paint dry over being left alone with only your company,” Baron said.

“I hear that’s how Supervillain tortures those who betray him.” Superhero reached for their phone in the center console’s cupholder and began to fiddle with it.

“Whoa,” Baron said, “I am not dying in this beat up truck because you’d don’t have hands-free. Give me that!”

“Piss off!” Superhero said. “I’m not letting you of all people near my phone!”

“I could fry it,” Baron hissed.

“You could,” Superhero hummed, meeting their eye in the rearview mirror as they laughed, “but not with that power-suppressant on your ankle.”

The radio crackled to life with the ominous soundtrack of whatever podcast Superhero had put on as the host welcomed their listeners and introduced their topic of the day.

Baron gritted his teeth. “I could fry that too if I wanted to.”

“Go ahead,” Superhero dared. “Prove me right.”

Inhaling deeply, Baron forced himself to ignore Superhero. Closing his eyes, he resolved to pretend that they weren’t even there for however long this ride lasted. But as the podcast host droned on and on about the anatomy of a Chupacabra, Baron wanted to smash his head against the window.

“Are we there yet?”

“No.”

Baron pursed his lips. “Are we at least close?”

Superhero didn’t answer right away, allowing Baron to hear the podcast host conclude their monologue and launch into a fresh one on the regions where Chupacabra sightings have occurred. “Thirty minutes, give or take.”

“Fantastic,” Baron muttered. Opening his eyes for a moment, Baron peeked outside the window to see that the urban highway had given way to a woodland lined road. They weren’t sure if it counted as a highway, but at the speed Superhero was driving it might as well have been.

Shutting his eyes once again, Baron shifted until he was as comfortable as he could be with his hands chained to the handhold beside the door. Resignation flooded him for the first time since his Rogue Trial—or rather the verdict.

He knew fresh starts and atoning for his sins would be difficult, but he hadn’t imagined he’d have to do it under the watchful eye of someone as annoying and critical as Superhero. Being rid of their company was almost worth returning to villainy. But he wouldn’t do that. He wouldn’t throw away this chance.

This time, he would take it and hold on no matter how difficult it was to keep his grasp. He wouldn’t let a better life slip through his fingers again, as he had so many times before. If not for himself, then for Mirth, so that her kindness wasn’t in vain.

Superhero was just another obstacle. And as far as obstacles go, Baron grimaced, he’d faced worse. Much, much worse than a cranky cape with a sense of snark. If snark was all he had to put up with, then he would gladly resign himself to it if it meant not ever facing something worse ever again.

Taglist: @feline17ff, @selene-stories, @kaiwewi

#besties #bestie banter #heroes villains side blog #Mirth's Ebenezer series: bts

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catdotjpeg · 7 years ago

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For the trans asks, I'm gonna say every other odd because I never know which ones to pick with these ask things. : )

ok hahaha

3. Do you have more physical dysphoria or more social dysphoria?

umm it really fluctuates.. i would probably say more social dysphoria because i think being misgendered really aggravates whatever physical dysphoria i have

7. What is your favorite part of being transgender?

i know i often complain about the lack of a real community (or the illusion of a real community, rather than a lack) but i really am grateful that i’ve met all of the people i have and created a very strong family and support system for myself because a lot of the friendships that i have maintained over the years are strong bc of our shared struggle and our shared trans experience

11. What are your experiences with binding or tucking?

i started binding my sophomore year of college and bound pretty consistently for about a year and a half. then i stopped because of a variety of reasons leading me to feel like i didn’t really have to anymore. i started binding on the daily again about a month ago

15. What labels have you used before you’ve settled on your current set?

when i first came out as trans i identified very heavily as genderqueer because that was the term that was ~en vogue~ at the time. i think beyond that i’ve mostly used transmasculine and nonbinary to describe myself.. i briefly referred to myself as a demiboy but now that i’m older i don’t connect with it in the same way

19. Would you ever go stealth, and if you are stealth, why do you choose to be stealth?

i think the concept of going stealth is really complicated, and a lot of people go “”stealth”” out of necessity, but personally i have no intention to be stealth if i can help it. obviously there are some times in my life where i have to present a certain way for my safety but i would much rather be visibly trans

23. What’s your biggest trans-related fear?

dying lol

27. What do you do to validate yourself?

ohhh i hate the concept of validating myself. i don’t think it’s very useful or helpful LOL.. i guess i can interpret this as what do i do when i don’t feel trans enough?? it sucks and i don’t have healthy coping mechanisms for it at all but i usually do something very dramatic like cut or dye my hair or get a tattoo or something

31. How are you involved with the trans community, IRL or online?

i’m really lucky in that i’ve lived in large cities my whole life so the vast majority of my friends both in meatspace and online are trans. when i was in high school and undergrad i was very open about being trans and did a lot of activism sort of stuff on campus (especially in undergrad). i don’t go to a lot of trans-specific spaces because i’m lucky enough that i don’t feel that i have to leave the comfort of my own home for that.

35. How do you feel your gender interacts with your race, disability, class, weight, etc. from the perspective of intersectionality?

this isn’t really what intersectionality means but that’s ok. umm i think that my gender is obviously going to be influenced by these other things but i think that the largest factor is probably my racial and ethnic background. over the last year and a half i’ve thought a lot about the role of masculinity in xicanx culture and pilipinx culture, and thinking about how the men in my family, especially my pilipino family members, have been very soft and gentle and thinking about how i can emulate that

39. Is your ideal partner also trans, or do you not have a preference?

in the past i haven’t had a preference but my partner is trans

43. Are you involved in any trans-related activism?

in undergrad i was really involved but in this past year since i’ve been out of school i haven’t been as active (largely for physical and mental health reasons). i’m hoping to get more involved again now that i’m starting grad school and have a couple of organizations i’d like to check out once i get settled

thanks adrienne!!!

#aboutnico #trans blog #all truths wait in all things #preguntas #long post //

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