#but I’m still too upset to get to sleep
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adieutristana · 10 hours ago
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kissing headcanons / arcane women x fem! reader
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summary: headcanons for what kissing arcane women would be like.
characters included: jinx, vi, mel, sevika, caitlyn, lest.
tags/warnings: fluff, mentions of making out, mentions of poor mental health. could be suggestive in some spots.
jinx;
✧.* jinx is a very playful and spontaneous kisser. she’ll cut you off in the middle of a sentence just because she couldn’t resist, your lips are right there after all.
✧.* there’ll also be times she’ll just swing a leg over to sit in your lap and begin kissing you without warning. jinx is honestly the human embodiment of free will. if she wants a kiss, she’s gonna get a kiss.
✧.* honestly, it really depends how jinx is feeling when it comes to her kisses. when she’s happy to see you, she’ll leave a trail of kisses all over your face before ending on your lips. when she’s tired and feeling relaxed, her lips will softly brush yours as she hums.
✧.* when she’s upset or on the verge of an episode, she’ll kiss you deeply, hands firmly grabbing your top or shoulders just so she can be reassured that you’re actually there.
✧.* morning kisses with jinx. she’s usually up before you are, and most of the time, she’ll let you sleep. there is the odd occasion though where she’ll decide it’s too long of a wait, and she’ll wake you up by peppering kisses all over your face, giggling the whole time.
✧.* “g’mornin’ toots! i didn’t wake ya up, did i? oh, oops!”
✧.* there’s also the times when jinx wants to go slow. it’s not very often, usually preferring to plant her lips onto yours boldly. but there will be times when her lips gently capture yours, her tongue gently prodding at your lips for entrance. she savors these.
✧.* jinx loves when you brush her bangs to the side and kiss her forehead. it makes her freeze up for just a second every time, before she becomes visibly flushed (which is a rare occurrence.) she’ll deny it until she’s out of breath, but you think you’ve cracked the code.
✧.* “wh- i am not blushing! stop it!”
✧.* she doesn’t really talk during kisses, preferring to be present in the moment. she will tell you, very boldly, how much she wants to kiss you, though.
✧.* “can i get a kiss from my pretty girl? pleeeeaaase?”
vi;
✧.* vi is rough the majority of the time. she’ll thread her fingers through your hair or tug on your top, crashing her lips into yours desperately.
✧.* still, she can be soft when she wants to. usually when vi is physically exhausted, all she wants is to be close to you. she’ll gently place her calloused hands on your shoulders, leaning in ever so slowly to capture your lips in a kiss.
✧.* “mhm.. i’m fine, baby. just tired. i missed this.”
✧.* hair was briefly mentioned, but please put your hands in vi’s hair when kissing her. she will positively melt. putty in your hands.
✧.* as i’ve previously mentioned, vi isn’t the best at communicating her emotions, but she’ll kiss you to take the edge off. it’s a temporary stress relief, isn’t it? and she gets to be close to you. a win-win.
✧.* vi has been clearly upset or stressed more than once, trying to figure out how to verbalize those feelings before she just gives up and kisses you, putting her full body weight into it.
✧.* you can, at times, taste a bit of whisky while kissing vi. it’s one of the things that make her so unique, that smell coming off her just the slightest bit.
✧.* vi loves to hold you close to her while kissing. she’ll hold you flush to her chest, one hand cradling the back of your head and the other firmly gripping your hip. it makes her feel more secure, being so close to you.
✧.* vi loves to talk to you while kissing. little ‘i love you so fuckin much’s and ‘you’re perfect’ whispered against your lips, her voice low and smooth.
✧.* “look at you, just wanna kiss you so bad…”
✧.* vi would absolutely love if you kiss her wounds ‘better’ after patching her up. she’d act like it’s stupid and childish and she doesn’t like it, but you can see right through that.
✧.* it probably sounds weird, but i think vi would sometimes have her eyes slightly open while kissing you. yes, it’s a bit awkward, but she just wants to see you.
mel;
✧.* god help you, mel adores kissing. kissing, kissing, kissing.
✧.* if you like that, perfect! if not, too bad. and she’ll probably take it personally.
✧.* mel doesn’t do pda, but the second she has you behind closed doors, she’s ushering you to sit down so she can finally get her lips on yours.
✧.* mel will kiss your knuckles, she’ll kiss your temple, kiss you upon greeting and parting with you.
✧.* although as mentioned, mel doesn’t do pda, if there’s a time at a gala or conference where she’s simply overcome with the urge to kiss you, she’ll grab your wrist without warning to drag you into the next room and desperately kiss you.
✧.* “hush, they don’t matter. i just need to be with you right now.”
✧.* this woman needs no excuses, she just loves you so much and craves that contact.
✧.* you already know mel would leave so many lipstick marks on you. of course, if you’re going out, she’ll scramble to grab a rag and wipe the stains off your skin. but if it’s just the two of you for a while, she’d adore you wearing the marks for a little bit.
✧.* “you look just darling like that. who would’ve thought my lipstick would look so good on you?” she teases with a cheeky smile.
✧.* mel loves to take kissing slow. she doesn’t particularly care for chaste or brief kisses. she wants to take her time with you, enjoy you while you’re here.
✧.* so don��t rush her. if she feels like you’re trying to go too fast, she’ll let you know as much.
✧.* won’t talk during kisses, but she’ll lightly chuckle and hum into them. mel will make little noises to let you know that she’s enjoying herself.
sevika;
✧.* sevika is surprisingly pretty gentle most of the time. with you, the one she loves, she doesn’t want to hurt you. that’s not to say she won’t accidentally manhandle you, she’s very strong, after all.
✧.* of course, she can be rough when she’s feeling like it, and if you ask her to be a little more harsh, it’s like a switch flips.
✧.* sevika is a busy woman, so she doesn’t always have a lot of time to be attentive to you. when she does, though, believe she’s savoring every moment.
✧.* “i waited for this all day, yeah? come here.” she’d say, patting her thigh.
✧.* please sit in her lap. not only does sevika love holding you in general, but having you in her lap while kissing her will have her on cloud nine.
✧.* sevika will have one hand holding the back of your neck, her mechanical hand wrapped flush around your waist to keep you close to her, pressing long, hungry kisses to your lips.
✧.* on the flip side, sevika will lay beside you, her eyelids heavy of sleep and a calloused hand gently cupping your cheek. she’d lift your chin up to softly kiss you, letting out a relaxed sigh through her nose.
✧.* sevika not only talks to you while kissing you, but teases you.
✧.* “you’re this desperate for a little kiss, eh?” and “patience, hun. don’t worry your pretty little head, i’ll give you more.”
✧.* sevika just likes to see your cute reactions. whether that’s your eyes widening, your breath hitching, or you averting your gaze to try and hide your expression.
✧.* the latter of which, she won’t tolerate. she’d grab your chin and turn your face back to her. sevika wants to see you.
✧.* sevika would melt if you kissed her hands. she doesn’t know why, but it just feels so tender to her.
caitlyn;
✧.* she prefers long, lingering kisses. caitlyn usually does prefer to be in control while kissing you, though.
✧.* caitlyn will mostly only give you short kisses when upon greeting you and parting with you. otherwise, she likes to take her time with you.
✧.* call her pretty while kissing her. not only will it cause her to press into you further, but it gives her a good ego boost.
✧.* “caitlyn, you’re so beautiful, you know th-“ you mutter, before you’re cut off by caitlyn’s plush lips on yours.
✧.* caitlyn likes to have her hands on your waist while kissing you. there’s no particular rhyme or reason why, she just has her hands there. it also allows her to move you freely if she so wishes.
✧.* she’s a busy woman, but constantly stressed and has so much tension built up. poor girl, her shoulders and jaw are always so tense. but you’ve figured out that kissing you is a huge help when it comes to caitlyn releasing tension.
✧.* caitlyn would come home, visibly exhausted and wanting nothing more than to get some rest. before she opts to get ready for bed, though, she’ll come up behind you, turn you around, and begin slowly kissing you. kissing up your neck, landing on your lips and savoring the moment.
✧.* “long day, dear. forgive me if i was too forward.”
✧.* she’s not sorry at all, just trying to talk to you.
✧.* caitlyn is used to getting what she wants. of course she’ll never overstep your boundaries or do anything that would make you uncomfortable, but she’s very convincing. even if you’re not sure sneaking away from a council meeting to be swept off your feet by your girlfriend is a good idea, caitlyn has a way of looking at you. a look that says, ‘just trust me.’
✧.* caitlyn’s lips are very soft, and you can almost always taste some kind of strawberry or vanilla chapstick whilst kissing her.
✧.* caitlyn is also a big charmer. she’ll bring your knuckles to her lips, gently kissing them while looking you directly in the eyes.
✧.* “a charmer? you’re not so bad yourself, you know.”
lest
✧.* lest is also somebody who likes to take her time. it’s rare that she gets time to herself these days, so every moment she does get with her beloved, she wants to take full advantage of.
✧.* lest absolutely purrs into kisses. quite literally. you can tell that she’s enjoying herself because her lips will be on yours, both hands gently grasping your cheeks as she purrs deeply. it’s adorable, honestly.
✧.* she’s rather serious and stern on the surface, but you get to see the more playful side of her. lest purposely leaving lipstick marks on your face while wearing a smirk, giggling into kisses…
✧.* lest absolutely knows her way around relationships and kissing, so she’ll tell you exactly how she wants you to kiss her without fear.
✧.* “hold my shoulders. yes, love, like that. a kiss, then?”
✧.* lest would definitely take her scarf off just so she can use it to pull you into kisses. she finds your surprised reactions adorable, and the more you get used to it, the more she loves it. she’s grown to associate that scarf with you.
✧.* she likes to talk to you while kissing, as well. her voice is so low and soothing, it’s like you’re under a spell every time she opens her mouth.
✧.* “you’re beautiful… oh, stop. you flatter me. i’ll have to shut you up then, i suppose.”
✧.* lest doesn’t really have a preference as to control. she initiated the first few kisses, but she’ll gladly let you initiate them and take control every now and again. it’s nice to let go and relax, she trusts you.
✧.* sleepy kisses with lest. her job takes a lot out of her, being with customers all day, she’s usually drained by the time she’s finished. but nothing completes her day like crawling into bed with you, trailing kisses up your jawline and hearing your satisfied hums.
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efingart · 1 day ago
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Into You
Frank Woods x Mila (CoD Bell)
Warnings: sensuality (I think that's right? There's no sex but it's clear it's gonna happen)
I am working on the requests, I promise. But Mila would not leave me ALONE about Frank's hair until I wrote this so here you go. I'm a very slow writer until I'm not lol.
It was only a few moments after he slipped from his chair back into bed that she began to stir. Mila was always a light sleeper and Frank had expected her to notice him coming back to bed. He had hoped he could avoid waking her fully so he stayed still to see what she would do.
“Frank,” She said softly, his name a contented hum on her lips. Then she scooted closer to him, wrapping her arms around him. The feeling of her skin against his gave him a little thrill, as it always had. Even after all these years.
She pressed her lips against the back of his neck. At least she wasn’t upset with him for leaving the bed in the middle of the night. He knew it hurt her when she’d wake up to find him gone. Sleeping on the cot in the briefing room instead of their warm bed together. Her fingers combed through his hair, the tips cold against his warm skin. She ran cold he ran hot. It’s how they were.
Then she stopped suddenly and made a curious sound. He wondered what had grabbed her attention. Her fingers sifted through his hair as if examining something.
“What?” Frank asked after a moment. But she didn’t respond. He felt the bed shift as she sat up. He rolled onto his back to look at her, appreciating the way the moonlight skimmed over her body. The cool light highlighted just the edge of her naked form.
“I didn’t see it before,” She said. Her fingers were still in his hair, though his head had her hand pinned down against his pillow. “What?” He asked again, a little irritated that she hadn’t answered him yet. “It must be the stress, but you’re going gray in the back-” “Oh come on, Mila. Don’t remind me-” “No it’s cute!” She insisted. “Cute? No guy wants to hear that.” “Ok ok,” She said, rolling her eyes. “It’s sexy. Whatever.” “You like that?” “You know I do. Let me look,” She said, pulling on his shoulder to get him to turn over. “No! Come on, go to sleep.”
She frowned and then threw a leg over his hips. He should have been expecting this. She planted her hands on either side of his head. Frank took in a breath as he looked up at her. He couldn’t help but wonder what she was still doing with him. It’s not something he’d say out loud, knowing she’d only ask him what he was doing with her. It was part of why they worked, he supposed.
“Any excuse, huh?” Frank asked with a chuckle. He trailed his fingers along her bare thighs. Mila let out a sensuous hum in response as she rolled her hips against him. She ran her fingers through his hair again. Then she leaned forward, pressing her body into him. Her lips met his and she kissed him deeply. Her fingers curled in his hair giving it the slightest tug.
“Gray hairs, huh?” Frank said when she pulled out of the kiss and moved down to his neck. “Always surprises me what you’re into.”
“I’m into you,” She said, her lips brushing his neck as she spoke.
He placed his hand under her chin, angling her head so he could kiss her. Then he cradled her face in his hands, holding her head in place as he kissed her long and slow. She moaned into his mouth in a way that told him they weren’t going to get much sleep that night.
“I’m glad you came back to bed,” She said. “Yeah me, too.”
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beemochi-art · 13 hours ago
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13 with breakdown, 25 for Slipstream, S for any other ship you want, and 🌍
13) First time being drunk/high
(Unfortunately… Breakdown is dead in my au. so… knockout can tell you!)
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25) First major success in their story
I’d say graduation from squire to warrior. It took her a long time to but Al that matters is she is now a talented flier and fighter.
S) First anniversary + how they celebrated (I’m choosing Pax & Ariel)
Through they weren’t conjuxed or anything liked that they still wanted to celebrate their relationship, especially cause they knew they’d be together forever. Orion and Ariel would celebrate the day they met. Orion likes to spoiler her with extra special day planned out for her, he’ll take two days off too, so will she. Orion will often let her sleep in. He’ll start out their day by waking her up with lots of kissing and love. He already had energon prepared for them, afterwards they’ll get ready for their day out in Iacon. They’ll walk the town, they can’t afford everything they want but Orion will always let her get what she wants most. Afterwards they’ll spend time at the archives and rent out some flicks (Orion has unlimited access to all rentals 👍👍.) Once they got all their stuff Orion will probably need a small break from all the physical activity. While they are sitting down somewhere Ariel will give him something she either found or made him. They usually are either small metal trinkets she made, flowers or crystals she found. After he’s done gushing over the gifts and over her they will go find somewhere to see the view of the city. Then they’ll end the day by heading back to their apartment, where Orion will show her what he spent a lot of his shanix on. He’ll surprise her with high grade engex. They’ll spend the rest of their evening cuddling, watching movies and getting very drunk. Then they’ll spend the rest of the next day sleeping in loving and relaxing.
Sometimes tho Ariel isn’t able to take the days off and end up missing their anniversary. When she comes back from her shift Orion will make the whole night about her and assure her he isn’t upset. She’ll have the most relaxing night ever.
🌎 - First attempt at worldbuilding, or a notable piece of worldbuilding you're proud of
My first attempt at world building was probably all those sonic ocs I had lol. But no, right now I am most proud of the work I’ve done on my personal Projects Wolfram. Also working on TF lore for my au I’d pretty fun.
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ultratradmalewife · 3 days ago
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I couldn’t really sleep much because somehow the feeling I felt after the break up of how badly queer men were represented just resonated again in my mind. Like I really wish I could see where things went wrong in the writers room, because as much as Buddies like to say Lou let Tommy fans on with the backstory, that’s not really true when the story revolving Tommy made its way on screen. The general audience saw enough of his story and his character to be angry too. And I know this weighted feeling probably came from that reply I sent about realizing they were focused on Buck’s bi rep, that the writer’s probably didn’t realize Tommy was now rep too.
I’m just upset having to see the older gay character be off alone in the world again, especially after coming so close to building a home he was comfortable in. I’m tired of seeing worse characters getting better endings.
Part of me wonders if Buck’s journey really is meant to be a revolving door of love interests until the lights close on that stage, and if that were the case I hope they’re at the very least more mindful of how they use their rep when the love interest is a guy again, but another part of me just wishes they were like Marisol at best (don’t even give them a last name) that way hopefully everyone can recognize it’s not serious and the harassment towards the actors are kept minimal (that’s a big hopefully I don’t think I have to worry about BTs doing this, but we can once again be scapegoats for the loud majority).
There’s just so much wrong still, like the way they refuse for Buck to call himself bisexual given the many chances to do so, and Maddie’s questionable dialogue.
If they want to do some good for the community within the show, I’d say let Josh finally have another much happier storyline that ends in him being happy, but I know if we wish for that there’s a possibility the writers would kill two birds with one stone and set Tommy and Josh together, and any other day I’d be happy for that, but I’ve been here long enough to know that’s originally what some Buddies wanted and I honestly do not want them to get what they want again. The damage has been done, so just keep Tommy out narratively. If Buck is meant to stay on this cycle until the end, at the very least make Josh happy.
EDIT: actually I’m not done with this. I hate it too that I’ve never seen Bucktommy and Buddie as competition, not because of canon, but because that’s just normal, but one thing I did see over the summer hiatus is all the homophobia that came from that side. I hate that “only the gross gay men like Tommy” is a statement that has stuck with me because of one of them, and I hate that even without the competition aspect I still felt like they won. Bad behavior really did get rewarded.
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prcttylittlebirds · 1 day ago
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“it’s a relief. I would very much like to never see a courtroom again. It’s just weird that i can say i’m divorced now.” rafael feels like the only word he can use to describe how he is coping with his divorce is relief. He imagine his confessing his feelings for her to be taking negatively, but it probably would’ve been best to mention that when they weren’t in the midst of an argument. He doesn’t really know what to say at first. letting her talk and release on her frustrations before he says anything else seems like his best option right now. “ there’s nothing you can really do about chemistry…. i’m not expecting you to read my mind, I’m just expressing that it bothers me a bit, and the only reason that it bothered me at the beginning is because i have all these feelings for you and i couldn’t really say anything because i was married and you’ve very candidly expressed time and time again that you were uncomfortable with the fact that I was married still. i couldn’t exactly say anything that would just change that or make the situation less weird. if i said anything before would that have changed your mind?” he sits down on the sleeping bag. if he was going to get scolded he rather be sitting down while it happens. “vee— if i still was  in love with liv— and let me be clear i’m not— i would be more upset about her having a baby right now with someone else than worrying about who you’re talking to on facetime. i begged stefan to give me his spot, just so i can talk to you… everything with olivia was done before i had these intense feelings for you.” he opens up a little bit more hoping that this will get her to see that he really is all about her. “ you and christopher have more than just chemistry too. i’m not just going off of silly theories I’m making up in my head, venus. i’ve seen you two kiss in front of me… i’ve heard you speak speak to each other— your ambitions were lowered, but there was still things that you were saying to him and that he was saying to you that made me think a little harder. it’s more than just you being attracted to him.” he sighs, hoping she really hears him. “you both have more in common than you and i do. when i talk about how i grew up and stuff, i can tell you feel a way about that. especially today when i was talking about the cabin idea i was only thinking about space-wise… and i know you guys joke around about how i can’t cook and stuff… and it’s funny, but when you put it into a different context, it’s not funny anymore. y’know? i can’t help but worry about stuff like that when it comes to christopher.” raf hates that the camping trip is starting out like this. “ this is not how i wanted tonight to go… i wasn’t supposed to say i liked you so soon… i had a speech planned.”
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rafael knows that venus wouldn’t let him sleep outside in the pouring rain, but he also doesn’t know how this conversation is going to go. there’s no time for nerves. “chris bothers me… i didn’t wanna stand there and listen to you talk to your ex about how he wants to cook for you and whatever else. i wasn’t really tuned in to your conversation after a certain point.” why couldn’t she see that he has fallen head over heels for her? it’s clear now that he has to verbally say to her as soon as he possibly can manage to get it out. His reaction to chris is the direct tie to his feelings for her, if only she could understand that… see that, maybe everything will be easier for them. “i had things to tell you that i couldn’t tell you yet because I wasn’t divorced yet and i didn’t want to say anything before then, that’s why there wasn’t any texts or clear communication on my part and it was in poor taste because i know how you interpret that kind of behavior i should have of handled that better.” he stops talking to take a breather for a second before saying the next thing. “you being attracted to him is a problem for me, do you not understand that that’s why i react the way i do? i have feelings for you and you saying they are attracted to your ex is not something that’s exactly easy to hear. so, yeah it is bullshit— it’s not fun to listen to you talk about how you would sleep with him again and if given the chance he would sleep with you too… it’s one thing to be friends with your ex, but the added chemistry is very much unsettling, especially because i like you so much.” he shakes his head. “my divorce was finalized… that’s what i wanted to talk about, but not really in the form of a semi-heated discussion.”
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polyamorouspunk · 11 months ago
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Hug
*hug*
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aussie-bookworm · 23 days ago
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7K HITS ON GOING THROUGH THE MOTIONS????
Gamers I can’t work on the final chapter any faster
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campirefangs · 2 months ago
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great-tusk · 2 months ago
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Ugh. I had a really bad day.
#chat sesh with iris#vent in the tags#had to get a super personal reminder of someone who I used to know who left me YEARS AGO but it still upsets me to hear her name and I#literally saw HER MOM who proceeded to talk a bunch about what she’s been doing#tw suicide mention#tw suicidal ideation#in the tags lol#so warning that it’s in the next tag#like I think about killing myself whenever I have a passing thought about her so this was too much#I’m not going to do it I’m physically safe 👍👍👍 but like#even despite all of the shitty things that happened I was still having a pretty good week because like. people have been really nice to me.#and I’ve been having a little fun#but this is way too far to excuse like practically no matter what else happened or happens 😭😭😭#like hearing how much better her life is than mine#I literally had to physically leave the situation#like she had finally after YEARS(!!!) gotten mostly off of my mind#but not anymore#the heaviest sigh ever#anyway I would apologize for venting but like this is my blog 👍👍👍#I don’t really have anywhere else to talk about it#like even the people who I consider my best friends did not care or respond or ask questions when I mentioned that I was having like a-#breakdown in public#other than one#shoutouts#and I’m probably going to sleep really soon so maybe I’ll wake up and think this is too personal and delete it#like if I’m only posting because of how tired I was#or who knows maybe my thoughts will keep me awake for hours#I still have nightmares about her#BLUE AND DAWN AND HOP AND ARVEN AND GREEN SAVE ME!!!!!
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soni-dragon · 3 months ago
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Never ever EVER buy household appliances with ai in them. Most ridiculous things I’ve ever encountered
#to be clear i did not buy one but had to use one to do a load of laundry (who needs ai in a laundry machine??) and let me tell you it was#useless.#first the thing apparently ‘senses the dirty ness of your clothes to calculate the wash cycle’ which then would only ever decide to do a#cycle that took 4. freaking. hours. never have i encountered a washer that takes longer than an hour to wash your clothes.#and without the ability to manually say you want it to be a specific time? makes no sense. who has that kind of time in their day.#NEXT we go to dry the clothes and it also wants to run it for an insane amount of time. so we click it anyways (horrible decision)#and think oh we’ll just open it halfway through#well. upon stopping the cycle halfway through the damn thing says that the door is locked because it’s ‘too hot.’#never have i seen something that thinks i’m going to burn myself on my hot clothes. like cmon#also cause opening the door would be a surefire way to cool the clothes down you’d think??#so we try all sorts of troubleshooting things and even unplugging it and it STILL WOULDNT UNLOCK.#the damn thing is still locked btw. dunno if ill ever get those clothes back#so glad this at least isn’t actually a dryer we spent money on and just one that was here while we’re traveling and need to do laundry#but like. cmon#there’s no reason we shouldn’t be able to decide how long to wash our clothes for and instead let a ‘smart’ (hint: it’s not smart) machine#do it for us#(hint part 2: this isn’t just about the clothes)#soni rambles#more like soni RANTS#i was already angry about the idea of ai in appliances but experiencing first hand how bad they are makes me even more angry#and a little scared for the future#now it’s 2am and the laundry is still stuck and im too upset to go to sleep. gah#and i don’t get mad easily.#oh and did i mention that to dry your clothes it wouldn’t let you select a temperature?? that it only said it would sense it itself??#see i like to dry all my clothes on low heat cause ive had a history of them shrinking#so not only are they trapped in the machine but it’s ‘too hot’ because it wouldn’t let us select a lower temperature.#luckily i didn’t put anything in that’s a material that usually shrinks
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binders-and-beanies · 6 months ago
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#sry I need to vent more abt my tattoo pain bc I physically cannot do anything productive rn im completely and totally incapacitated#can’t read anything beyond short posts or texts. can’t eat or move at all#tried to sleep through it so it would at least Be Tomorrow so I can get medical help. but the jolts of pain make me like Jump#hence me being sent home from work early today like it’s not even that I was complaining I was just flinching involuntarily so much#and was unable to work or function at all. thank god I don’t work retail rn I remember the pain of tattoo infections in that context#it’s so Abrupt it feels like I’m being stabbed or repeatedly bitten#literally trying not to scream bc I have a roommate. but he almost certainly hears me crying and saying ouch#which sucks bc I barely know the guy lol he has no context. At least on my drive home I could scream as much as I needed#literally would go to the ER if I could afford it and that sounds so dramatic bc it is#it doesn’t feel like it can wait. genuinely don’t know how I’m gonna get through the night#I haven’t slept in like 60 hours and I doubt I will tonight. but it hurts too much to even tell if I’m tired#and I don’t have time for this!! I have so much I need to be doing. I hate that the only way I can have Time is to be Extra Disabled#in a way that leaves me completely unable to do the things I normally can fight through despite burnout#and I was just at health services yesterday asking them to do insurance paperwork that they couldn’t do#it’s embarrassing having to be like hey I was just there but can I come back#I have Another tattoo infection but I pinky promise I take such good care of them#and my artist is like the best of the best too. it’s like it doesn’t matter what either of us does to keep me safe#and I know if anyone responds to this it will be to tell me to stop getting tattoos#but that’s literally like telling me not to get top surgery if I’m immunocompromised n might have recovery complications#both are equally important gender affirming medical procedures to me I’m not joking#and I hate always having to justify this whilst in agonizing pain. I hate answering the same things every time bc still no one believes me#I say this as someone who lives every moment in baseline pain that would have your average person writhing on the floor and I ignore it#this is truly unbearable if I hadn’t been through it a million times I would think it was life threatening#just needed to get it out ig. bc it’s all I can physically do. until health services opens in 12 hours#PLEASE let them have availability tomorrow bc i have literally no option on weekends#this is just. so upsetting and embarrassing. I don’t have time or emotional capacity for this#personal#mine#vent post
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hellonoblesky · 1 year ago
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Fuck.
#turtledove is not vibing#///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////#///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////#/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////::::::::////#I think I’m having an episode#Like a bad one. Really bad one#I haven’t felt this shitty in months#time isn’t moving. It’s been the same time forever.#I just had to sit and stare at my phone clock for almost a full minute to make sure the time actually passed#Gh#I think it’s because there’s just too much happening in my life rn#I’ve barely gotten home I still feel like a visitor in my own room and I’m flying out to see family IN A FUCKING DAY#and then I get back and only have a couple days before school starts#and registration is tmmr#and I fucked ip and now I’m p sure my gf thinks she made me upset when she didn’t#And none of my music is hitting properly#and I really really need to sleep because I have to actually Get Up tmmr because I HAVE REGISTRATION#and I don’t remember what classes I picked and I’m terrified I’m going to have to take normal pe instead of online#And I know it sounds stupid but I’m just . too weak to do normal pe#And I hate hate hate exercising in front of people I don’t know it makes me want to tear my skin off#My head feels like sandpaper and I’m going to genuinely start crying#I think I might Have to draw actually I don’t think there’s a way for me to calm down and go to bed that isn’t like#Making Something#Ok. Erm. Ok
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neixins · 1 year ago
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just had a meltdown at work but at least my makeup didn’t smudge at all…..small victories or whatever
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friedroses · 2 years ago
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#you guys ever just get that random urge to burst into tears over something very small#i felt stupid bc I asked a friend in a different timezone if they wanted to talk on the phone when it was like midnight there#they said they couldn’t sleep so my ass was like oh do u wanna talk then#as if that’s not the opposite of what they’re trying to do#and they very nicely in the most polite and lovely way declined bc they have work in the morning#and were very sweet about it#and i’m not upset with them at all but i just got so upset with myself#like i felt stupid and selfish to ask because i know it’s really me that wants the company and it feels like i can’t talk to anyone anymore#every friend reaches a point where they get tired of me and can’t handle it anymore so they leave#and i understand! i’m a lot. even for myself#and i don’t know how to stop being unlikeable and unloveable and just shut the fuck up for oncr becsusr i always a say too much#i can never leave well enough alone#and i cry so easily now it’s annoying#even my family members have all gotten sick of me#my mom started screaming at me the other day and basically told me that I’m annoying and she dislikes me#and i couldn’t even acknowledge her for 3 days not bc i was trying to be petty but bc i could not handle seeing her#without thinking about what she said#and she’s still fucking pissed at me for the original conversation where I was asking if we could divide the cleaning in the house equally#or at least more equally. bc everything gets so messy and cluttered and it stresses me out so much#and i feel like i’m the only one cleaning up after 3 other adults who don’t give any consideration to leaving shit everywhere#and she basically told me to shut tf up and stop trying to act like i’m her parent#as if she didn’t parentify the fuck out of me as a child and use me as a therapist and tell me to be the bigger person every time my older#sister did something fucked up to me#and she- my mom- is being hella passive aggressive now and the vibes are just so toxic i feel like i can’t breathe ar home#like i just want to sleep i don’t want to be home or even conscious#i’m so tired of making myself as tiny as I can and still being made to feel like i take up too much space#emotionally and physically#i just want it to be over#and i want to tell someone but i don’t want to burden anyone or talk too much bc it’s all negative and i don’t want them to get tired of me#i finally made some friends through school and it’s fun to be in a group of people again but i’m so scared i’m going to ruin it
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sttoru · 1 year ago
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your boyfriend sleeps on the couch after an argument you both had earlier that day. after calming your nerves and taking time for yourself, you realise that you might have been a bit too harsh on him.
☀︎|tags. older bf!gojo satoru x female reader. fluff / angst / hurt + comfort. age gap (reader early 20’s & satoru early 30’s). nicknames used; ‘(little) baby’. he’s honestly just the perfect combination of gentle and teasing. subtle mentions of size difference.
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satoru shifts on the couch whilst letting out an inaudible yawn. he was tired after an entire day at work and finally had the chance to settle down in the comfort of his apartment.
though, he couldn’t really relax just yet. the reason why being the undeniable tension hanging in the air. he was in fact home, but it didn’t feel like it. not when you were missing.
you had holed yourself up in the master bedroom after an earlier argument the two of you had. it wasn’t a big fight — just a little squabble between lovers. satoru didn’t rush after you when you had decided to walk away midst argument. you clearly weren’t in the right headspace to properly articulate nor communicate your feelings.
he figured that you just needed some time alone and thus decided to leave you be. he didn’t want to risk losing you by annoying you any further.
satoru scrolls on his phone out of boredom. the light radiating off the screen starts to bother his already sensitive eyes. with a sigh, he shuts off the device and puts it down on the coffee table.
it was dead silent in the apartment that was usually filled with your lively chatter. the sorcerer wants nothing more than to cuddle up with you under the covers and fall asleep. but, you needed space and he wasn’t going to disturb you.
he drapes an arm over his eyes and pulls the thin blanket over his chest. his breaths were steady and his thoughts were surprisingly calm. satoru almost drifts off to sleep, however his body lightly jolts awake once he hears the creaking of a door.
careful footsteps echo throughout the hallway and stop right at the doorstep of the living room.
satoru moves his arm to the side so his vision wouldn’t be obstructed. his eyes land on the figure standing at the doorframe — one he could recognise instantly.
it was you, standing there with your head held low and your fingers curled around the hem of your nightgown. you didn’t take another step forwards and just lingered in your spot for a few seconds without saying anything.
“hey, baby.” satoru breaks the silence. his voice was as soft as it could be, not an ounce of annoyance or frustration in it. even if he had all the reason to be upset according to you.
you remember just how childish you acted earlier; you had lost all rationality, shouted at your boyfriend out of frustration and ran off mid sentence instead of properly addressing the issue at hand. the way you handled that situation was wrong and immature.
in contrast to your immature behaviour, satoru had stayed calm and collected throughout the entirety of your argument. he hadn’t raised his voice at you even once nor did he blame you for anything. you felt bad for acting like a bratty kid who didn’t get her way.
you eventually move towards the couch, still not making eye contact with your boyfriend. he sits up and simply watches you with a raised eyebrow—curious as to what you were about to do.
you knew you had to apologise for your behaviour, but what you needed first was his validation. you wordlessly climb onto the couch and under the blanket satoru was using.
your arms wrap around his torso and you hug him tightly to your body, face buried in his shirt to cover your embarrassed and remorseful expression.
satoru’s eyes widen a bit at the sudden show of affection, though he wasn’t complaining. he reciprocates the gesture and nuzzles his cheek against the top of your head.
“my little baby.” he chuckles, hands rubbing your back in attempt to reassure you that everything was and will be fine, “i’m happy you decided to come back to me — thank you.”
again. that tender tone satoru uses only with you and for you. the guilt from earlier hits you like a truck and your eyes well up with tears before you could stop the process.
“sorry,” your voice cracks once you finally muster out an apology. the warmth engulfing your cold body was enough to make you sob in his comforting embrace. satoru sighs and closes his eyes. he rests his chin on top of your head whilst holding you like his life depended on it.
no words were exchanged between you two for a good minute. satoru silently encourages you to cry it out and so you do. after calming down, you sniffle and pull your head away from his chest. your eyes were watery and a bit red.
the pad of his thumb sweeps the stray tears away from your cheeks, his touch precise and careful. he smiles softly at the sight of his teary-eyed girlfriend. you were so adorable and precious to him. even when you looked like a mess — a pretty mess.
“i just..” you start off, small hiccups interrupting your sentence, “i wanted to apologise for acting so childish. i shouldn’t have said nor did any of those hurtful things. i apologise for that as well.”
your lover nods along to your words. he hums in delight and kisses your forehead, his lips lingering there for longer than intended, “don’t worry, baby. i understand. thank you for apologising, though.”
you mutter a small ‘of course’ in-between sniffles. that was all the reassurance you had needed to hear from your boyfriend. though, you still felt bad and the guilt of your immature actions seemed to linger in the back of your mind.
you lay your head back on satoru’s chest and listen to his heartbeat — hoping that the constant sound would drown out any other thoughts. your lover lays on his back and pulls you down on top of him. his hands rub your sides, slender fingers toying with the silky material of your nightgown.
“i’m sorry for being immature sometimes. i’m sure it must be troubling to deal with.” you whisper as you enjoy the feeling of being back in satoru’s arms.
he grins and shakes his head in response. he loves every side of yours — even your immature one. if he didn’t, he wouldn’t be here right now. he truly loves all of you.
the older man places another soft kiss on top of your head and closes his eyes afterwards, “heh, i’d be lying if i said that you trying to act all tough earlier wasn’t cute.”
satoru snickers at the memory. he remembers how you pointed that little finger of yours in front of his face and how you tried to subtly stand on the tips of your toes so you could look him in the eyes properly. your attempts at looking intimidating were quite endearing.
it’s not like he was invalidating your feelings with that comment — he was genuinely trying to lighten your mood. and it wasn’t like it didn’t work.
“whatever.” you huff, playfully swatting his biceps and gaining an over exaggerated ‘ow!’ in response. you’re glad that things have gone back to normal between you two. if the situation had continued for any longer, you’d have lost your mind.
you aren’t the only one who is extremely relieved. satoru is beaming with joy because he gets to hold and talk to you again. that small period of silence between the both of you felt like an eternity to him.
no matter how many times you have those little arguments, satoru will still love you all the same.
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fangirl-dot-com · 6 months ago
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☀️Sons, Sons, and More Sons
Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Reader Genre: Fluff/SMAU Summary: Ollie, Leo, Liam, who's next Oscar? Oh.
inspired by @pucksandpower 😊
TAG LIST IS CLOSED
“CHARLES!”
The said Monegasque, who had been “innocently” snuggling his four-legged son, winced at the force and volume of your voice. 
He was currently going through everything that might have upset you in the past 20 minutes from when he got home to you just now getting out of the shower. Did he leave the toilet seat up again? Or did he forget to sort the laundry? Or maybe he didn’t clean up Leo’s toys from the bedroom? 
“Why is my Twitter blowing up?” 
Oh. That’s why. 
He whispered to Leo, “I’m in for it now.” 
And then in a louder voice he yelled, “Yes mon amour?” 
You rounded the corner of the hallway and stopped in the opening to the living room, crossing your arms. “Care to tell me why I’m getting tagged in almost every Twitter post about you adopting Oscar?” 
You wanted to break at the puppy eyes that your boyfriend was currently giving you, but you needed to stay strong. You needed to show that a man could not sway your feelings. Too bad that man was Charles Leclerc, the one that men and women alike fell to worship the ground beneath his feet. 
You couldn’t break. 
Charles brought his hand up to ruffle his hair, something he did to express some nervousness. 
“Cheri, it was just a joke. Oscar somehow finds heritage in a lot of countries. He just wanted to keep the joke going.” 
“So you decided to ‘adopt’ him so he can have another home race?” 
“Maybe?” 
“Don’t you already have enough sons anyway? I think four is too many or our house is going to overflow on family night.” 
Charles’s eyebrows pinched in confusion. “Four?” 
Now it was your turn to smirk. “Yes, four. Or are you too busy having fun with Leo to be a present father to your other two?” 
Charles tried to wrack his brain about who could be the other two. 
“Ollie?” 
“Bingo.” 
He leaned back into the couch, hands still gently petting Leo who had decided to fall asleep in the middle of his parent’s squabbles. The golden puppy was content on his dad’s warm chest, the rise and fall rocking him to sleep. 
The Ferrari driver sighed. “I don’t even know.” 
You waved your phone at him. “Twitter might be able to help you. I need to get dressed since I was rudely interrupted. I hope you find out before they get here for dinner.” 
Charles shot up making Leo yelp away from his nap. Now that he was really looking at you, he realized that you were just in a towel. A blush formed on his face, still having those boyish thoughts that he believed he was better than that. 
You walked over and bent down, face getting closer to his. 
Ah. You were going to forgive him and all would be right in the world once your lips met his. You wanted to laugh as you saw his eyes flutter shut, lips slightly puckering. 
Charles was wondering what was taking you so long when your finger touched his lips. His eyes shot open and he definitely did not whimper. You looked down at your fur-baby and gently picked him up, bringing Leo to your chest. 
“Twitter. Figure it out Leclerc.” 
Now a bit sullen, he watched you walk away. 
“Je t’aime!” 
He was responded to with a middle finger and the bedroom door slamming. A chuckle made its way from his chest as he brought his phone out. If there was one thing that you two did well, it was dramatics. 
Twitter was immediately opened once he got his phone out. He scrolled through all the tags before giving up and opening your profile. He winced at the sight of the white background, cursing his phone for updating and not keeping the dark profile. 
However, he couldn’t contain his laugh as he saw your new updated tweet. He leaned his head back, still giggling to himself. 
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Charles knew that you two wanted kids at some point. But between his Formula 1 career and your business on the uprise, children really wouldn’t work well now. But deep down, he liked the idea of having a few grid kids. 
He took a minute to stop giggling before he continued his search. His eyes widened as he stopped on one of the family trees that some fan made. 
There was Leo, adopted by you and him. 
Then Ollie, who fans say that Charles conceived himself somehow. 
Oscar was newer, but still had the adopted dotted line. 
And then . . . 
Ooohhhhhhh, so that’s who he was missing. 
You took that moment to come out of the bedroom, hair now dry and fluffy from your Dyson. Leo was still in your arms, looking more awake than he had when he was with Charles. You sat down next to him, Charles taking the opportunity to put an arm around you, bringing you in closer. 
“You smell good amour.” 
You turned and smiled, leaning in to finally give him a kiss after a long day. 
“Thank you. It’s the lotion that you bought me.” 
He let out a low hum and just kept you in his arms. Leo was squirming a bit before he finally flopped over and settled in between your two bodies. 
“I figured out who our other son is.” 
Your head now rested in the crook of his neck. “Did you now.” 
“Yes. I am a stepfather to Liam?” 
Your shoulders shook with giggles. “Not the stepfather, but the father who stepped up.” 
“You spend way too much on Twitter.” 
You looked up at him, and Charles turned to look down at you. You leaned in closer to rub your noses together, giving him eskimo kisses. The Ferrari driver just closed his eyes and basked in the moment between you. 
There weren’t many times that he got something like this. So quiet and peaceful. His world was filled with so much noise. But here, he could melt into the quiet. 
“We should have dinner here with the boys after the Grand Prix on Sunday.” 
“That sounds nice. I can make the food.” 
You sat up slightly, elbow bent on the back of the couch and head resting on your hand. 
“You want to show off your cooking skills to your sons to prove that you can cook.”
Charles huffed. “I am the provider chéri.” 
You cocked your head at the Monegasque. “Whose name is on the lease mon bebe?” 
A huff was the answer, which made you cuddle Charles closer still being aware of the little baby between you. A small nip to your fingertip made you pick Leo up, now holding him close to your face. 
“Were you getting a bit jealous of papa ma petit amour?” you asked the blonde dachshund in a baby voice. If Charles wasn’t already fully in love with you, his love would have been solidified in this moment. 
While watching, he suddenly remembered something. “Oscar wanted to meet Leo in McLaren hospitality this weekend.” 
You turned with a raised eyebrow. “Why not Ferrari?” 
“Eh.” 
It was as if you had a lightbulb moment. “Ohhhhhhh, right. That makes sense. I can stop by and let you know when I get there.” 
What you hadn’t expected was to pick up Liam and Ollie on your way to the now green outside of the McLaren hospitality. Leo was still curled up in your arms, eyes blinking every so often. You knew that if it wasn’t so busy, the little puppy would be sound asleep. 
“He’s so cute,” Oscar said, walking forward and hands outstretched. You gently gave him over to the “older brother” of the three. 
Ollie laughed. “I know right. He’s so cuddly.” 
Liam joined in, “I don’t think I put him down the entire time I got to meet him.” 
Oscar stared at you three for a moment. “Yeah, you aren’t getting him back.” 
You shook your head. “Speak to your father first, Oscar.” 
Chuckles erupted from all around, making you laugh as well. You took your phone out and took a quick picture of Oscar holding Leo to post later. 
“Is dad on his way?” Ollie asked after sipping on his water bottle. 
You rolled your eyes. “Should be. Ah, there he is.” 
Charles stepped foot into the room and immediately found you surrounded by his “kids.” His heart may have melted seeing Leo flopped in Oscar’s arms. He gave you a kiss on your cheeks before he greeted the three. 
“This is hilarious,” he said, making everyone laugh yet again. 
You rested a hand on your forehead. “We’re just missing Liam’s dad, and then we’ll be one big happy family.” 
The Kiwi crossed his arms, but a giant smile was on his face. “So much for having a present father in my life. I’m jealous.” 
Charles gripped your waist and puffed his chest. “I’m not the stepfather, but the father that stepped up.” 
“Charles, no you aren’t. Can’t even handle three kids.” 
You and Charles turned around to see Max now stepping through the door. The Monegasque raised his eyebrow. 
“And you can?” 
You raised a hand. “That’s my que to leave. I will not be in the middle of a Lestappen-father showdown. Boys, you can follow me.” 
“Yes mum.”
“Lead the way.” 
“Can I still keep Leo?” 
Charles and Max gawked as the three older boys followed you like ducks in a row. After he got over the shock, the Ferrari driver was left with a love-sick smile on his face. 
“Yeah. I’m marrying her.” 
“Gross.” 
“Max. Shut up.” 
y/n_l/n has posted
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liked by y/nismother, charles_leclerc, liamlawson, and 1,304,295 others y/n_l/n look at my sons . . . pride is not the word I'm looking for
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y/nismother the mother is mothering
charliexy/n honestly, they all take after him so much. I need to go to twitter
olliebearman then what is the word you're looking for mom 🤨
liamlawson30 I knew she wasn't proud of us
oscarpiastri this is why dad is better
y/n_l/n I'm taking away all of your sims and ps5's
olliebearman I take it back, mom is the best
oscarpiastri81 this is the best thing to happen this weekend
charles_leclerc my family 🫶
maxverstappen1 you stole my son from me.
liamlawson30 they had free ice cream 🤷
y/n_l/n 😊
maxverstappen1 I'm taking pole then
charles_leclerc ☹️
lestappenlove I love the entire family your honor
leclerc16charles does Leo need another sibling? cause I can bark
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