#but I’m fairly happy with it for my first attempt :3

[catastrophicarts]

bought shrinky dinks so my first order of business was filling the ni no kuni merch sized hole in my heart

[logansargeantsbabymom]

Too Good To Say Goodbye pt3

Logan Sargeant x Fem!Reader, Lando Norris x Fem!Reader

warnings: cursing, more shit talking

part 1 I part 2 I part 3 I part 4 I part 5 I part 6 I part 7 I part 8 I part 9 I part 10

F1 Masterlist

Follow my instagram account (THATS STRICTLY FOR THIS BLOG) for updates on when i post and fun stuff like that!

instagram

“I’m sorry mate, WHO SAID THAT?!” all sense of calmness decimated from Lando’s demeanor.

Everyone’s gaze bouncing between Lando, Logan, Zak and Me. The only thought in my mind throughout this whole altercation ‘Where did Zak get that I wanted Logan back’

Zak’s face went pale as he obviously wasn’t expecting to be outed like this. “N-no that-that’s not wuh-what I- We just had a conversation about their daughter and she”

The glare of Lando’s face was enough for Zak to stop talking. Zak knew he was in the wrong for butting into something that had nothing to do with him.

“You have NO RIGHT to talk to my girlfriend about how she lives her life! We're happy and that's all you should care about!" Lando should've known better than to yell at his CEO but Zak was way past overstepping a boundary and Lando was having none of it. "C'mon mate! I won't my first grand prix, I'm supposed to be out here celebrating with my lovely girlfriend and the rest of you guys and YOU'RE RUINING IT ZAK!"

The whole bar now is paying attention to the incident happening. People are whipping out their phones to record the whole thing, some even try to crowd around us hoping to provoke a fight between the two.

"DAMN BRO, YOU GON LET A BRIT TAKE YO PREGNANT GIRL? I WOULDN'T TAKE THAT SHIT IF I WAS YOU" some random dude yelled, phone in hand recording with the flash on further aggravating Lando

"Mate, this has nothing to do with you so just walk away." Lando said smacking the phone out of the random dude's hand, which then prompted him to start swinging in Lando's direction.

The guy was fairly tipsy so instead of any of the punches he's thrown landing on Lando, the guy lost his footing resulting none of his punches landing on me and THAT prompted Lando to start throwing hands with him too.

A crowd quickly formed around us, everyone was so busy trying to get the best angle for this bar fight laid out in front of them that none of them realized that they were literally trapping a just about 8 1/2 month pregnant woman in a sea of people.

The grid was too busy trying to pull Lando off the guy but once one guy got hit they started swinging until another one of the drunk guys friends jumped in and then it became a big mob mess. Some of the WAGS that were there retreated out of the bar, before realizing that a very much pregnant Y/N was not with them.

"GUYS! WHERE'S Y/N??" Alex shouted looking around hoping she just missed her and that she was out here safe and not in the middle of a literal bar fight.

After no one seemed to have an eye on Y/N, Alex peaked inside the window of the bar in hopes of finding Y/N before she gets trampled. No more than 15 seconds of peaking through the glass, Alex spots Y/N and the big crowd of drunken men fighting around her.

Back on the inside of the bar, I'm surrounded by men throwing punches and I'm trying so hard to not get hit again. I feel a hand pulling on my arm which prompt me to whip my head to see who it is.

"C'mon Y/N/N, you're gonna get hit again, it's not safe. Not for you and our daughter." I turn and see Logan attempting to shield me with his body as he yanks me up and protects me as he's guiding me to a safer part of the bar, pulling out a stool so I could sit down and he could evaluate whether or not I had an injury. Before I could even sit down on the stool, I feel a gush of wetness between my legs.

My eyes widen in horror as I look down at the mess I’ve just made as a contraction hits me “OH MY GODDD. NOT NOWWWWW” I hurl over in pain as Logan places both of his arms around me to steady me.

“Okay pretty girl, we have to get you to the hospital. let’s go, nice slow steps” Logan says as he rubs the small of my back, before looking back at Lando still mid fight.

Alex, who was watching my every movement like a hawk, quickly opens the bar door “OMG YOUR WATER BROKE? GET IN MY CAR” Alex and Logan both guided me into the “LILY, GO GET LANDO AND MEET US AT THIS HOSPITAL”

I was sat in the back seat with Logan as he was helping me breathe through my contractions and letting me squeeze his hand when the pain became too much.

-

I’ve been in active labor for 2 hours which means with every contraction I think ‘this is it. babygirl is coming right now’ and each time it’s a false alarm. Something about this contraction felt different, Logan could sense it too given that the way I squeezed his hand for this contraction was very much different from the ones prior.

Although this is my second time giving birth, this one felt so much more different then when I was giving birth to my son. After an excruciatingly long 2 minutes of this contraction I heard the door burst open and in runs a sweaty, bruised/cut open nose Lando with the facial expressions reading “please don’t tell me you had her already”

“I didn’t have her, don’t you worry. I would’ve kiAHHHHHHHH LOGAN SHES COMING. SOMEONE GET THE NURSE, I CAN FEEL HER COMING” in one swift motion Logan helps me sit up and breathe through this contraction while Lando yells for a L&D (labor & delivery) nurse.

“Hi honey, she shouldn’t be coming yet but let’s see how dial- OH MY GOSH HALF HER BODY IS O-” the poor nurse tried to be so calm and nice about this but when she lifted up the blanket she was met with my baby halfway out of my body and in one last push, mine and Logan’s daughter was born.

The sound of a silence filled room which triggered me, reminding me too much of the scene I had to endure 2 years ago but before I could scream and question what was wrong with my daughter, a beautiful cry ended up filling a once silent room.

Exhaustion hit me in waves and I plopped back to rest, closing my eyes before I feel lips on my forehead.

“Thank you so much for bringing my babygirl into this world. You’re so strong. I love you so much.” Logan murmurs against my temple which causes Lando to get very upset but given the circumstances, he lets it slide.

“Okay mom, here’s your little precious bundle of joy” my nurse, Kinley whispers as she hands me my baby.

One look at her and you can tell she’s Logan’s daughter, she’s a spitting image of her dad. Blonde hair, green eyes, she even has light freckles.

“What do you want to name her Logan?” I whisper, almost afraid that if I speak any louder that this’ll all fade and I’d be that once empty, soulless mess I was.

“Yelena Ivy Sargeant” I can’t believe that Logan remembered the name I had chosen when I thought our first pregnancy was a girl, I’d only mentioned the name twice before we found out he was a boy

“you remembered” a sigh escapes my lips as I look intensely in his eyes

“I never forgot, that name made you so happy.” one of Logan’s hands found a place on my cheek before silently asking for permission to hold his daughter, which I gracefully handed her over.

“What do you think about her name Lando?” I ask as I turn my head to my boyfriend who’s stood on the opposite side of bed than Logan is.

“I have no say because that’s yours and Logan’s decision but for what it’s worth, I think it’s a beautiful name” Lando’s lips find a place on my temple while a hand strokes my hair “hey i’m gonna step outside and let them know that little miss Yelena Ivy is now apart of the family” lando places one more quick kiss on my forehead before grabbing one of my hands, kissing it too and leaving.

After Lando left, the room fell in a comfortable silence. Just Logan, Yelena and Me enjoying each other’s company.

“she’s so beautiful” Logan whispers as he plants a small, delicate kiss on the top of her head

“she looks just like you” I smile, the first genuine smile I’ve given Logan in lord knows how many months and he smiles right back at me before gently bouncing Yelena as she coos.

As I looked in Logan’s eyes when he smiled back at me before he turned his attention back to our baby, something felt different.

I wish I could capture this moment in time right here, where everything felt so right, so normal. Nothing could ruin this moment, not when I felt like I had it all. A well paying job, my daughter, a man who loved both of us unconditionally, and for a moment i did have it all except for the fact that Logan and I weren’t together anymore and that one fact did ruin the moment.

When Logan handed Yelena back to me, he whispered “You’ve given me the greatest gift anyone could’ve ever given me and I will spend eternity trying to right my wrongs and win you back, even if it’s not relationship wise, I can’t have my daughters mother, the love of my life mad at me forever” tears welled up in my eyes as one thought crossed my mind when he mentioned ‘the love of my life’

why did my heart just flutter?

HOPE YOU ENJOYED <3333333

@luckyladycreator2 @itsmiamalfoy @jeffs77 @ilivbullyingjeongin @forevercaffeinated-lee @daemyratwst @gulphulp @callsignwidow @f1wintermoon13 @teenwolf01 @victoriassecret101 @hiireadstuff @formulaal

[widowsistersandfriends]

Who's Afraid of Little Old Me?

Request: Hey there! First of all, I want to say that your stories are amazing and I love reading them <3! They bring me the kind of comfort I can't get anywhere else. I'm fairly new Tumblr user, so I don't know how things actually work here, and I don't even know if you accept story suggestions. But anyway, I have a little idea that I don't feel I'm talented enough to write myself. I don't automatically assume that you will do anything, but I would be more than happy and grateful if you would ever find the time to even consider my suggestion. ❤

Idea: Y/n is really afraid of spiders. One day Natasha she starts discussing it with Natasha. Natasha, being a Black Widow herself, doesn't understand how anyone can be afraid of something as small as a harmless spider. The conversation soon turns into a playful pillow fight where Natasha accidentally finds out that Y/n is ticklish.

+

hi!! I love reading fanfics you made, but I was wondering would you write another natasha and her sister (reader) story? Thx and have a nice day 💛

Note: Thank you so much for these wonderful requests! I appreciate you guys reading my fics and I am glad you like them! I went ahead and combined these requests, as I felt they went well together. Enjoy! <3

Word Count: 1423

----------------------------------------------------------

You were Natasha’s little sister and you adored her. You looked up to her in every way and wanted to be just like her. You were always excited to spend time with her, and today was one of those days. You and Natasha were having a sleepover and you two were preparing for it. First, you two went to the supermarket nearby to pick up snacks.

You immediately went to the candy aisle, much to Natasha’s amusement. 

“You know, Y/N, if you’re too energetic and hyped on sugar, I’m gonna have to find a way to calm you down,” Natasha warned you.

“It’s fine, I can tolerate large amounts of sugar,” you replied, taking a large pack of Twix and a bag of M&M’s off the shelf.

“You want anything?” You asked.

“Hmm, I’ll take a KitKat,” Natasha said, as you smiled, knowing that it was her favorite.

You and Natasha then went to get some microwave popcorn bags, a bottle of lemonade, and some paper plates. While she wasn’t looking, you snuck in a large pack of Oreos. You two also got some arts and crafts supplies that you planned on using at your sleepover.

After you guys bought all the items, Natasha surprised you by swinging by the pizzeria and picking up pizza for dinner, as it was 6pm already. 

“I got your favorite, Y/N, pepperoni with sausage and mushrooms,” Natasha said, as your mouth watered. 

You thanked Natasha for getting pizza as you guys headed home. You jumped out of the car, eager to get the sleepover started.

You set out two paper plates on the table and poured some lemonade for both of you. You guys sat down at the kitchen table and chatted while eating dinner.

“So what do you want to do first?” Natasha asked you.

“I want to do an arts and crafts project!” You cheered.

“Then arts and crafts it shall be!” Natasha declared.

After dinner, you guys threw your plates away and headed upstairs to your shared bedroom. 

Natasha pulled out the arts and crafts supplies, consisting of paint, paintbrushes, canvases, and materials to make friendship bracelets.

You took some of the painting supplies and began to paint a picture. You had been working on your art skills for a while, and you decided to attempt to paint a cabin in the mountains with a lake and beautiful nature nearby.

When you two were done painting, you showed each other what you created. Natasha had painted the Statue of Liberty, which turned out pretty decent. 

“Wow, Y/N, I had no idea you had gotten that good at painting. I remember when you used to just throw random colors on there, and now look at you. All grown up and an expert at painting,” Natasha said, tussling your hair as you beamed with pride.

Afterwards, you decided to make friendship bracelets for each other. You chose red thread and decorated it with various colors and spelled out her name.

You guys traded bracelets and then began to set up for the movie. You got the popcorn out and heated it up before pouring it into a large bowl to share. You also made sure to bring the candy over. 

After the movie, you guys changed into your pajamas and headed back to your room to play games and chat. 

After a while, the conversation had shifted into a deeper topic about fears. You thought your fears were silly, but you wanted to share them with the person you trusted the most. 

“I guess I’m sorta afraid of spiders,” you admitted, looking down into your lap.

“Spiders?” Natasha asked, as you nodded.

“It’s just weird because your average spider won’t do any harm, so I feel silly for being afraid of them.

“Y/N, it’s perfectly normal to be afraid of spiders or anything really. We all have our fears, even if we don’t fully understand them. I mean, part of me doesn’t quite understand it since I’m a black widow myself,” Natasha said, hoping to lighten the mood.

“I’m not afraid of you because you’re not an actual spider,” you said, playfully rolling your eyes.

“Wow rude! The disrespect to the original black widow,” Natasha gasped, reaching for a nearby pillow and whacking you with it.

“Pillow fight!” You declared, grabbing another pillow and fighting back. You two whacked each other and giggled endlessly, both not wanting to give in. Natasha lunged and reached to grab your pillow so she would have all the power. However, her hand missed the pillow and she ended up grabbing onto your side, causing you to squeal and jump away.

“Oh sorry Y/N! Are you okay?” Natasha asked, as you were still processing what just happened. 

“Oh, what yeah, I’m okay,” you said, looking away in embarrassment. 

Natasha gave you a weird look, knowing that something was off. Then she finally realized what had happened.

“Ohhhh, I see. Somebody’s ticklish huh?” Natasha said, now inching closer to you.

“No! I’m not!!” You cried, scooting away from her. 

Natasha knew you were bluffing, so she pounced on you and pinned your arms to your side, while tickling your stomach and ribs, making you cackle with laughter.

“NATAHAHAHASHA STAHAHAHAP,” you shouted, kicking your legs underneath her. 

“How come you never told me you were ticklish?” She asked, sneaking her hands into your armpits.

“BEHECAUSE YOU AHAHARE MEHEHEAN,” you squealed, clamping your arms as best as you could. 

“Excuse me?” Natasha said, leaning down to blow a raspberry on your tummy. Your laughter went silent as you shook your head. Your sister gave you a break, but kept your arms pinned.

“Can’t you let me go?” You whined.

“I certainly cannot since I finally found a way to calm you down after all that sugar,” Natasha teased, as she now reached down to shake into your ribs and tickle between the sensitive, vulnerable bones.

“YOHOU JEHEHERK,” you laughed, cursing yourself that you let her find out.

“Where else are you ticklish?” Natasha asked, giving your knees and thighs a squeeze, which gave her a few giggles. 

“Hmm, how about���your feet?” Natasha said, with a growing evil grin as she saw you panic.

“NO PLEASE! NOT MY FEHEEHET,” you squealed, as she began to scribble over your soft and sensitive feet.

“Why not? It’s such a great spot!” Natasha cooed, as you squirmed and thrashed around. 

After she felt you had enough, she helped you sit up.

“Y/N, I have a way to help you get over your fear of spiders,” Natasha said.

“How?” You asked.

She snuck her hand under your shirt to scratch lightly at your back, causing you to gasp and jerk away.

“HAHA NAHAHAT,” you laughed, as she held you still.

“Just imagine that my hand is a spider. See? Harmless, besides the fact that it’s ticklish,” Natasha said with a smirk.

“Now try and stay still,” Natasha said, wiggling her nails all over your back.

You scrunched your face up, trying not to laugh, but couldn’t help but squirm at the touch.

“You’re really that ticklish?” Natasha asked, now tickling your sides to make you collapse in laughter.

“YEHEHES NOHOHOW STAHAHAP,” you begged.

“Not until you’re over your fear of spiders~,” Natasha said, now singing the itsy bitsy spider as she walked her nails over your back.

You snorted as she reached the top of your back, right before your neck.

“Is your neck also ticklish?” Natasha asked, as you shook your head vigorously.

Natasha didn’t say anything, but instead wiggled her nails against the back of your neck. You curled up into a ball, swatting at her while laughing.

“Get over here you little troublemaker,” Natasha said, now squeezing the back of your neck, causing you to squeal and beg for mercy.

“Oh alright, you’ve had enough,” Natasha said, now releasing you from her grip.

“Thanks for helping me try to get over my fear of spiders,” you said, snuggling up against her.

“Are you still afraid of me?” Natasha asked with a smile.

“Well, now you made me have two fears. Spiders and the tickle monster,” you said, poking her ribs.

She swatted your hands away with a glare.

“Well, the tickle monster isn’t ticklish,” Natasha said, as you took that as a challenge.

You snuck your finger under her arm when she wasn’t looking, causing her to yelp and jerk her arm down.

“Y/N! I warned you!” Natasha said, pinning you down for round two of tickle torture.

[pixelatedraindrops]

RAINCODE COMIC DUB~🎙️

NEW PROJECT ALERT!

Story takes place at the start of Chapter 4 (MINOR SPOILERS)

Comic Title drawn by Kazin (as well as the whole comic)

Here's the Dub! Vocals and Editing done by me 🎙️📑 Enjoy!!

Further Rambling Below

Hehe I bet you all didn't think voice acting was among my list of hidden hobbies/talents didja? (I’m just full of surprises x3) Well... I can only hope that I delivered well enough here. (please feel free to laugh at my attempted Yakou voice… LMAO)

So this is yet another collab project that @kazinsblog and I did together. The story is based on a kokowendy ch4 canon divergent skit that I made way back last fall. When Kazin saw it, she wanted to make it into a full comic. I didn't protest (I never do LOL) but then I wanted to try something.

I've never attempted a solo dub of a comic before, and honestly I didn't think I would with RainCode due to a majority of the characters being male. Sadly with my naturally high voice I can only do so much with attempting male voices. I usually only do female or child character voices.

But since Kurumi is the lead role of this story, and has the most lines, I decided to give it a try. I do love Kurumi (she's my best girl) so I hope I did her justice here. I like to think I did her voice fairly well. I struggled a bit with the guys (and Halara) but I think my Yuma is decent enough... x'D (plus it was really fun making him sound tired and out of breath :3)

I do enjoy Kokowendy as a ship, though I'm not a huge shipper. But these two are just too cute... ;w; So I think a scenario like this suits them both. Plus it gives Kurumi a chance to be reliable and try to help her beloved hero in his time of need <3 Honestly it can even be seen as platonic. Its very tame (the only small hint is that Yuma blushes at some point, but that's it)

I had a lot of fun doing this!! I got the voices and editing done in only 3 days, so it’s definitely not a long lasting project. (on my end anyway) But I still think it’s a pretty big project with all of the work both of us did. Editing the video was probably the most fun part for me >w< I knew exactly what BGM and sound effects I wanted months in advance c: I only hope I did the editing style of it right. Comic dubs are very peculiar in the way they’re done… 💦 (also no I’m not putting this on YouTube, this is a tumblr exclusive ONLY! And I give NOBODY permission to re-upload it without my consent!)

I’m not sure if I'm the first that's attempted a RC comic dub before, but if I am, then I am very happy c: Idk if I'll do another full one though. Like I said too many of the characters are male... x'D This may be a one time thing for me here. But if I were to do one, I figured why not on a comic that was made specifically for me? c: (ty again kazin!💕)

Anyway I'm done yapping now, I hope you all enjoy! 💜 Feel free to let me know what you think or which role you enjoyed from me the most! (tho I think the answer is obvious lol)

[watatsumiis]

I honestly adore your bitey series, and saw your suggestions were open. Do you mind if I suggest Arlecchino, Beidou, Hu Tao, Rosaria, Yanfei, Kuki, and Ganyu for the Bitey Series? I'm super interested in your hc ideas gkjddfgkl (Don't feel bad if you wanna not write for some of the characters I just listed gjkfdkfjgljk I just went with six because each of your bitey posts also have six so I used it as a baseline jkfgjkdgjk) I hope you're having a good day/night!

Thanks so much for the request!! I’m more than happy to do this, I really had a lot of fun writing the bitey reader series, something about it just makes my little heart happy <3 It seems like you actually submitted seven here, which is alright!! Thank you for noticing about the number of characters i usually have per post, it means a lot to me kjdkdfs

I think i may have to give Yanfei, Shinobu and Ganyu a miss for now since I’m not familiar at all with writing them, but I’ll keep them on my list, don’t worry!

Content: Gender neutral reader who bites as a sign of platonic affection. 

Arlecchino is used to being bitten. She works with children who will bite for a large myriad of reasons. She may not like it, but she understands it comes from a place of not being able to verbalise a certain emotion. At first she’ll be concerned that there’s something wrong, and will try to pinpoint what it is. Eventually, she’ll move on to being mildly annoyed, shooing you off, and then finally just settling for it and realising it’s just a way of you asking for attention. If she’s busy, she may brush you off and move away, but she’ll make a note to give you the affections that you’re pining for when she has a moment. If you have a particularly close relationship with her she’ll let it fly if she knows you’ve had a bit of a rough/long day.

Beidou finds it kind of funny, though she doesn’t entirely understand it. She’ll just laugh like you’ve told her some kind of hilarious joke, shaking her head and tutting her tongue as she pats you on the head and jokes that some kind of shark or something must’ve gotten on board while her back was turned. Though if you consistently do it, she may ask if you’ve gotten into the liquor (she’s got a few crew members who get a little… bitey, once they’ve had a few drinks), or kind of semi-awkwardly try to redirect you onto something (or someone) else. Eventually she just resigns to her fate though, and you get to nibble on her to your heart's content! She’ll just sort of phase it out after a while.

Hu Tao kind of adores it - she lives for non-traditional acts of affection and the like, so will almost immediately try to get you back. She’ll turn it up a notch and just CHOMP down on you, giggling all the while. She thinks it's a very silly and fun way of communicating affection, and it feels strangely natural to her, as do most ‘unorthodox’ ways of making people know how much she likes them. She’s fairly well known for doing things like this in her own unorthodox way, and once she knows you're open to it, you'll often find yourself on the receiving end of one of her rather 'quirky' ways of showing affection, which include tying things to the ends of your hair (usually ribbons, feathers or charms for warding off spirits or bad luck), pocketing some of your belongings while you're not looking or just grabbing ahold of you or your clothing and clinging tight.

Rosaria is entirely baffled, and maybe even a little offended. She’ll pull away sharply and give you a stern look, but won’t directly say anything about it. If you try again, you’ll earn an annoyed sigh. Repeated attempts will reward you with progressively more annoyed reactions, eventually escalating to you getting bopped (mostly gently) on the head with a book or paper she has on hand. After that, if you do it again, she can and will just walk away. She doesn’t understand and doesn’t really have a heavy desire to try and understand - all she knows is that it’s bothering her and she doesn’t like it. If you're in a situation that she isn't able to walk away from, you'll likely find yourself getting scolded or grumbled at - don't get too upset though, she isn't really that mad, and will forget about it pretty quickly.

Please don't repost, steal, copy or otherwise plagarise my writing! This includes posting translations to other sites.

[chrisevansonly]

imagine chris comforting baby arlie having her first shot

Arlie’s First Shot Headcannon 🐥💛

At 2 months old Arlie was scheduled in for her first round of vaccines, they included the standard 5 vaccinations, today she’d be getting 3 and you’d come back in a week for the last 2

She was a fairly quiet baby at this point but you were an overly anxious mom and couldn’t help but bounce your leg softly while you and Chris sat in your Paediatrician Dr.Charlie, who was the absolute best

“hey, she’ll be fine honey”

Chris’s hand on your knee paused your anxious tapping and you let out a sigh, leaning into his side as he held a sleeping Arlie to his chest

“I know…I know”

He placed a kiss to your forehead and Dr. Charlie came in shortly after

“Hello Evans family, I understand little Arlie is in for her first round of shots?”

Chris nodded sending her a smile

“That would be correct, I’m not sure if her being asleep makes your job easier but”

The doctor laughed and noted it wouldn’t make a difference before going in and explaining what shots she was getting, and a little bit about them. When she was ready she lined the three needles up, making it faster for her to give Arlie her shots without taking too long

“Alright little one, let’s get these over with”

It wasn’t until the third and finally shot that Arlie woke up and began squirming, Chris quickly holding her close to his chest, her head in the crook of his neck as a cry broke out

“I know baby…shhh…it’s okay my love..”

You placed her fluffy grey blanket over her back in an attempt to comfort her, before you signed some forms, Chris swaying back and forth gently

“Little Arlie, you’re okay baby, I know it probably hurt, but Momma and I have to make sure you’re nice and protected…daddy doesn’t want anything to happy to you”

She began to quiet down, her sobs reducing to whimpers when you finished the paperwork and information for next weeks appointment. You grabbed her carrier, Chris wanting to hold onto her until you both got to the car

“There we go pretty girl, such a brave girl huh? Now we can go for a car ride home, you can sit with Momma all the way! You’re favourite thing ever!”

You smiled at Chris talking to Arlie in his baby voice, it was one of the cutest things he did with her. Chris was definitely up for dad of the year, getting her car seat hooked back up, putting Arlie down and then making sure you got into the car okay, knowing you still had some pain

“Thank you honey”

Chris smiled, leaning down to press a kiss to your lips

“You’re welcome, i’d do anything for my favourite girls”

After doing your seatbelt up, he closes the back door where you were sitting, Arlie blinking as she looked at her new surroundings, moments like these made you so excited thinking about when she’d start talking, laughing etc

“My sweet brave Arlie Mae”

[ana-chronista]

I have to be honest, I love all those ideas so my apologies.

Bojere: 2, 3, 5, 7, 8

Jance: 1, 4, 6, 9, 10

Only if you want to answer, of course

Are you joking? I love these sort of things! (At least you remembered to include numbers, unlike me! 😂)

Bojere 2. The popcorn at the cinema – 

They would both insist that they’re the best person to hold the popcorn, and would try to come up with increasingly elaborate ways to take custody of it. Eventually they would be banned from multiple cinemas for all out popcorn fights. 3. The baby, when it cries – 

Bojan, but only marginally – both seem to be very good with children. I think though maybe Bojan has slightly more patience to sit with a crying baby, while Jere would eventually be thinking “OK, maybe if I Lion King the baby it’ll quieten down”. However, Jere’s the best at coming up with stupid games to keep toddlers occupied for hours on end. 5. The remote, when they sit down to watch a movie – 

It would depend on who is in charge of the choice. Both would want to show the other some ‘must see’ movies from their own countries and would take control for those occasions. (Whether they make it all the way through each and every movie without getting distracted? Eh, who can say!) 7. The door, on dates – 

Bojan would do it seriously in an attempt to be really smooth, but Jere would do it in the most exaggerated way possible to make Bojan laugh (it would work 100% of the time). 8. The other’s hand, most often –

Jere would initiate it the most often, as he’s the least likely to give too much of a shit what anyone else thinks. Bojan would love him for it and, over time, would become more confident in initiating it himself when he wants to. Jance

1. The umbrella, when it rains – 

Nace, after much debate (and competition) about who’s the tallest. Jan is a bit put out at first, but eventually comes round to the idea when he realises it’s the perfect excuse (as if he ever needed one) for burrowing into Nace’s side to make sure he doesn’t accidentally end up drenched. 4. The ice cream cone, when they share – 

Nace again. After the one time Jan tackled an ice cream by biting the bottom off the cone straight away and sucking the ice cream through it, Nace hasn’t trusted him to take responsibility for this. His mind may or may not wander to that incident fairly frequently, often in horror at Jan’s weird eating technique, but not exclusively. 6. The basket, when they go shopping – 

Jan. Nace is more organised and in charge of the list. Jan is quite happy with this, because as soon as Nace’s back is turned, he can sneak gluten free snacks into their shopping to make sure Nace doesn’t miss out at practice. 9. Their breath, upon seeing the other on their wedding day – 

Given how they look at each other on a regular basis just on stage, I’m going to have to go with both. It would probably take a moment to actually get the ceremony started what with the amount of heart eyes going on in that room. 10. The camera, when they take pictures together – 

I still maintain Jan’s photography specialism lies somewhere between “random shit I saw out and about today” and “have 200 photos of my cat”, but I think getting together with Nace would open up a third category of just photos of him. However, taking photos together would probably be Nace, as I think he’d want to document their dates and the time they spend together (even if the trampoline park photos come out ridiculously blurry).

[tezzbot]

I know literally nothing about Trolls, so I’m curious. Was there anything specific that got you into the franchise? A trope? a character? Or was it just a variety of things that only coming together made it into something special?

I want to know if I should watch the movies since you’re the first person on the internet I’ve seen to have a positive opinion on them.

So, my first introduction to the franchise was way back when just the first movie was out. It was my little brothers favourite film for a LOOONG time so it was on repeat in our house for a while lmao it took me a while to actually pay attention to it but once I did I was like yeah! Good movie :] it establishes the world and characters well, and it's just an all round fun time with cool designs fun ideas and yknow I'm always a sucker for colourful singing fun little guys. A lot of people misunderstand the messaging of the first movie which frustrates me A Lot lol but yknow. It's a cute and silly and fun time and you can't go wrong w that. Singing Killed His Grandma<3 lol

The second movie is also very fun to me and expands the world in a really cool way, with new genres of trolls and the differences between them, each troll tribe has it's own unique setting I loooove the backgrounds in these movies you can tell a lot of thought was put into them, everything looks crafted in it's own unique way that represents the creatures that live there soo well augghgh yum. I personally think the second movie, for a children's film attempting to be an analogy for colonialism and historical revisionism lmfao, does a fairly decent job at tackling the themes in a way kids can kind of understand I think?? obviously it simplifies it all but, yknow, kids movie. And the individual character arcs the main characters go through are really interesting and fitting to the characters imo.

I also really like that they don't change Branch after the end of the first one to just be back to a peppy pop troll, like he's still a grumpy anxiety ridden little guy, like it shows his recovery from being grey isn't linear but he's improving, and it continues into the third movie as well as he slowly regains colour bit by bit, I really like Branch as a character :]

And the third one adds so much to Branch's character as well, delving into his backstory and making him like even more tragic which is so funny to me. We again, get an even more expansive look at the world outside of Bergentown, Pop village and the other troll genre territories and we get to see even more creatures from all over. And is also just one big Justin Timberlake Used To Be In a Boyband joke its great JHJGFH

I think it's very much a big mixture of things that's got me hooked on this series, among them is the clear love you can tell the creators have for it the world is so vibrant and interesting, the characters are honestly engaging and fun to think about since the movies are short snippets we get of their lives and realtionships and what have you I'm always a sucker for open to interpretation character relationships as well lmao, for me the jokes hit pretty well, and they're just Fun to be so honest, it's okay to have fun sometimes and they just make me happy so I am going to continue to play my tuoys smile

[chierafied]

20 Questions for Writers

The lovely @annabtg tagged me for this ages ago. Thank you! 💖 I've done this tag one or twice in the past, sorry to long-time followers with excellent memories, in case some of my answers have remained the same lol.

AO3 username: Chie (Chierafied)

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 413

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 1, 406, 470

3. What fandoms do you write for? Jily (Harry Potter), SessKag (InuYasha) and seldom IchiRuki (Bleach)

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

I’ll go ahead and name 6 so I can have an even spread between my two main fandoms.

Top 3 Jily fics by kudos:

#Jily

Much Tweeting About Crushing

Plan B

Top 3 SessKag fics by kudos:

Life After Loss

Stranger Than Fiction

Fifty Kilos of Fluff

5. Do you respond to comments? I try to, and I think I reply to most of the comments I get on AO3. Though sometimes I don’t if I feel like I won’t have anything to say in reply or if I’ve been overwhelmed by the number of comments in the inbox and have left them there to rot for over a month by which point it feels too embarrassing to respond. 🙈 On other sites I don’t really reply to comments, as email notifs from Dokuga are broken and I don’t really go to FFnet anymore.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? For Jily, Ashes and A Lifetime, both microfics I wrote for moody March. For SessKag, Foil and Vagary come to mind first.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? I mean fluff is my default setting so most my fics have a happy ending. 😅 Of the more recent fics, the Jily microfic Happily Ever After comes to mind. Or, for my SessKag fans, the holiday one shot Christmas Morning.

8. Do you get hate on fics? Any real hate is rare, though I have got one Anon hate comment telling me to kill myself because I wrote a ship the commenter didn’t like. But I have got plenty of criticism of one sort or another over the years. In particular, the (infamous) plot twist from Chain Of Love got enough feedback that I still, 12 years later, sometimes have an instinctual cringe to seeing a comment notification for that fic. 🙈

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? If I say no to this question, I’m sure there will be a choir of @drosselmeyerwrites, Wicked and Troll yelling liar. But personally I still don’t consider myself a smut writer. I do write (and have written) the occasional sex scene, but only 2 of those would qualify for smut. I like to usually keep my sex scenes fairly vanilla and I don’t like to name genitals etc. My comfort zone is more in sensual and emotional side of the spectrum, rather than explicitly detailed naughtiness.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? True crossovers, no. I don’t think I’ve written any. I’m more partial to fusions, e.g. Disney AU or a fairy tale retelling or whatever, in which you take the characters from fandom A and insert them into the world/plot of canon material B. Craziest of these fusions I guess would be my SessKag Star Wars AU one shot A Leap of Faith, which I’d pick for crazy as I’m not a Star Wars fan. Similarly, having never seen The Office, my jilychallenge one shot In the Dumps is one I wouldn’t have written if not prompted.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Yes. Once, that I know of. Though they did not claim to have written the fic themselves, someone did still opt to post my SessKag chapter fic Chain Of Love on Wattpad without my permission or knowledge, so I had it taken down.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes, more than one I think. There’s been the sporadic request over the years and I haven’t really kept track so I can’t name which ones. But the most recent was a Chinese translation to my SessKag one shot Cold.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Kind of? I’ve made a few attempts in the past with a close IRL friend of mine, but those attempts have always fizzled out fairly quickly. I’m not sure how well co-writing would suit me, as I can be a bit of a control freak.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? Honestly, I’m not sure how to answer this question. I guess SessKag fandom has been my home for the longest time. IchiRuki used to be my favourite ship, but the epilogue kinda soured it all for me.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? There are several of these but the ones I most wish to finish are my jily fics Their Halcyon Days and Chasing That Silver Lining

16. What are your writing strengths? I feel I'm good at writing (bantery) dialogue and I'm known for my fluff. I'm good at telling complete stories in very few words. I think, or at least hope, I am pretty good at hitting people in the feels and hitting the emotional notes in the story, evoking a response in the reader as well.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Motivation and editing. As proved last month, I can easily go for a full month of longer without writing a single word. If I don’t have a routine in place and only write “when I want to”, my writing becomes super sporadic. Editing is something I have very little patience for, so it's a step that, other than a basic proofread, I never really do. What are these 'drafts' people speak of?

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I think it depends a lot on if the language use can be justified and how it is executed, but I think this in one area where it might be best to proceed with caution.

19. First fandom you wrote for? David Eddings’ The Belgariad & The Malloreon.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? This question is impossible to answer, because my favourite anything is very much dependent on what mood I’m in and how the stars are aligned at any given time. Also there’s over 400 works to choose from. So I refuse to play favourites.

Tagging @siriuslychessi, @petals2fish, @jafndaegur, and @proudhanyou

[txemrn]

Making a Mark

Summary: Despite med school exams, Ethan and Tatum plan on spending time together for their first Valentine's day; but their plans take a different course... literally.

Word Count: ~2450

Warning: 🔞 For Mature Audiences Only 🔞 language; smidge of angst (couples fight!); 🍋 (these are iddy-biddy lemon seeds, but I guess technically this needs a NSFW label); brief mention of an injury

A/N: ❤ Happy Valentine's Day, fandom! ❤ This is one of those fics that started out as one idea, and I just allowed it to unfold as I typed and, well, here it is, and I hope you enjoy it! Some characters and plots belong to our friends at Pixelberry. This is not beta'd; please excuse my errors.

A/N 2: I am participating in @choicesflashfics week 20 prompt challenge! I'll be using prompt #3: "Are you flirting or starting a fight?" It will be in bold.

~🖤~

The faint waft of black coffee and leftover Chinese take-out infiltrates the sterile setting of the education building, the tell-tale sign of one thing: mid-quarter exams. With a massive pass/fail immunology exam staring at her the following week, Tatum is taking advantage of every moment to study with several classmates–even though it cuts into her first Valentine’s Day with Ethan.

They both agreed that the holiday wasn’t something they particularly wanted to fuss about with expensive gifts or acts of grandeur–not to mention, they were more concerned with the other person doing well in the upcoming slew of exams; but still, they wanted to spend a little time together.

Ethan and Tatum are in separate classes this quarter, which forces them to work a little harder in finding time to enjoy each other’s company; at least before, studying was an excuse to be together.  But, they had a mutual respect and understanding: doing well in school takes priority.

“Okay, Drew… treatment plan for MG. And go–!”

“Jesus, Lauren,” the tall, broad-shouldered blond groans, dragging his hand down his face. “We’ve been at this for almost six hours. It’s Valentine’s. Can we please reconvene tomorrow?”

“Shit,”  Tatum glances at her watch, “has it really been six hours?”

“Time flies when you’re having fun, huh, Erikson?” Tobias chuckles, leaning back in his chair.

Tatum flashes a sardonic smile. “I’m not sure I’d describe any time spent with you as ‘fun’, Carrick,” she claps back as he pops his gum loudly in her direction.

"That's only because we haven't been able to spend our time together properly."

Tatum rolls her eyes as she piles her notebooks into her bookbag and pulls out her phone. "Six seconds is hardly proper," she bites, earning her several snickers from the rest of the study group. "I better get going."

“Oooo-oooo!” Lauren singsongs. “Are you and Ethan doing something fun tonight?”

Tatum shrugs, stifling her smile as a soft pink swirls on her cheeks. “Not really, but he is supposed to pick me up."

"Oh!" Drew tugs on his jacket. "Are you going to his place? It's on my way, if you need a ride."

"You don't have to do that," Tatum smiles kindly, appreciating the offer.

"I know I don't have to," he titters. "C'mon. It'd be a waste of gas on his part."

Tatum knits together her eyebrows in consideration. Drew makes a fair point, not to mention she trusts him. "Okay… let me text Ethan so he's not sitting there, waiting for my call."

Ten minutes later, Drew and Tatum were walking the three blocks to where he parked his truck. Even though it was fairly late into the evening, the walkways were illuminated by the street lamps and the bright silver moon.

They were chatting about the previous week's lecture when a pair of headlights blinded them, slowing down to park next to the street curb where they were walking.  Being chivalrous, Drew protectively stepped in front of Tatum, shielding his eyes with his hand in an attempt to see the driver behind the wheel. Treading closer, they both instantly make out the figure.

"Oh, hey, Ramsey," Drew waves, relief in his voice. "I was worried there for a moment."

"Me too," Tatum giggles along with her colleague as she approaches the passenger door, waving at her boyfriend. "Hey," she smiles curiously, "what are you do–?"

"Get in."

Tatum halts. Hearing the gruff tone, she turns up an eyebrow as her eyes roam over Ethan's surly expression. "You okay?"

He gives a curt nod, his gaze unable to meet hers.

"Oh… okay," Tatum quietly mumbles, turning to Drew. "Thanks anyway," she offers a crooked grin as he opens the door for her.  "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"See ya, Erikson," he nods, shutting the door as his hazel eyes flicker over to a brooding Ethan. "Uh… good seeing you, man. Will you be at the next poker night?"

Ethan glares at Drew, his nostrils flaring. "We'll see," he mutters as he begins to pull away.

"Ethan," Shocked irritation seeps from Tatum's whisper. "That was rude."

He remains silent, his attention fixed on the road as his jaw ticks tighter.

"Are you going to tell me what's wrong?"

Ethan continues to drive in silence, his lips pursing to hold back unspoken words. 

"Did… did I do something wrong?" Tatum probes further. "Are you mad at me?"

Ethan glances briefly at her, an indiscernible heat forming in his gaze.

“Are you flirting… or starting a fight?”

When he still doesn't speak, she sighs, slumping back into her seat. She props her elbow on the door before resting her head in her hand to look out the window. "You could at least talk to me."

The silence between the young couple grows painfully haunting as they are left with only the rhythmic rapping of rubber meeting the pavement. Each block they travel, Tatum's face contorts as her anger festers.

They had never fought before– not like this. Ethan and Tatum were fairly reasonable people with clear heads, and while they can irritate each other, they've always been able to be thoughtful, be logical and discuss their problems. What was different now?

"You know what?" There's a sudden sharpness in her tone. "Just take me home, Ethan."

Ethan continues to drive, the car remaining at its current speed with no signs of changing direction.

"Did you hear me?" She raises her voice, staring at a stoic Ethan. "Stop being such an asshole and take me–"

Tatum suddenly screams as the car jerks  off the side of the road into a grassy wooded area. Kicked-up dirt billows around them as the brakes screech to a halt.

"Have you lost your goddamn mind, Ethan Ramsey?" Tatum unclicks her seatbelt, reaching for the door handle–that is until a large hand grips snuggly around her wrist, yanking her back into her seat. She instinctively turns her head, glaring at Ethan, wrestling her arm away from him. "What the hell is wrong with–?" 

Her words fall silent as Ethan pulls her against his chest, pressing his lips to hers with a searing kiss. He slips his hand behind her neck, deepening their touch, but with her hands on the firm planes of his chest, she pushes him away. Shock and confusion rest in her eyes. "Wh-what was that–?"

Ethan is left breathless from their kiss, a predatory, yet conflicted glint in his smolder. "I don't know what the fuck you've done to me, Tatum Erikson," he growls. 

"Me–?"

"I am logical," he interrupts, "I've always been. And level-headed." He pauses, looking out the window as if searching for the right words. "I am not that guy–you know I am not that guy, Tate. I don't dream about futures and marriage and babies and-and meeting your family and taking you to meet mine. I–" he stumbles into silence.  

He slowly turns towards her, his crystal gaze instantly meeting hers.  A sudden crackle of electricity ignites in the stillness as they stare with hunger baited on their quickened breaths. "Tate," his voice softens, "I don't get unreasonably angry, not over a girl.  And I especially don't get jealous."  He cups her face tenderly as he continues. "But you… you're not just a girl. You're the–" he stops himself, feeling a sting of warmth growing behind his eyes.

He swallows thickly as he draws closer to her. "The thought of you… being alone with any other man–”  

"Ethan," her breathing becomes ragged. "You have nothing to worry about, baby. I–"

"It's not you I worry about, Tate," he sneers. "Guys like that are biding their time to touch… to take… to fuck what doesn't belong to them." A weighted groan clings to Ethan’s exhale, his eyes growing dark, possessive. His thumbs press more firmly into Tatum's cheeks, more protectively as if claiming a prize.

"Tatum," he growls from behind his gritted teeth. "You. Are. Mine. Do you understand?"

A heat coils in Tatum's lower belly at her boyfriend's confession. They had become exclusive before Christmas, but she knew well before that she was falling for him. And this new, overwhelming sensation terrified her; sure, they were committed to one another, but did he feel the same butterflies, the same bundle of nerves, the same vulnerability? Or was she alone?

But just like that: Tatum knew. They weren't just exclusive; they were in love.

With her head in Ethan's hands, she tenderly grabs ahold of his wrists before closing her eyes. She leans her forehead into his, the frustration from moments ago melting away.

Ethan's breath shudders at the feel of her soft skin pressed against his own. Embers of feral heat kindle his growing length as his lips crave another crushing kiss.

This woman…  Somehow without notice, without even trying, without even believing things like this were possible, she had become his everything. 

His thumbs trace the curves of her cheeks before dragging across her supple bottom lip. 

Tatum's eyes flutter open, Ethan's lustful gaze piercing through hers, desire pooling between her legs. She turns her attention to his intimate touch, pressing her mouth to his hand. She plants sweet kisses along his palm before taking his fingertips into her mouth. A glimmer of dow-like innocence permeates her stare, her tongue playfully swirling around his knuckles.

"Tate," his breath hitches, a spark of arousal coursing through his veins. "You… you're teasing a dangerous line… and I'm not sure I can control myself…" His words are dark, ominous, warning.

"Maybe I don't want you to control yourself…" Her words drip like sweet honey, yet ignite like kerosene.

He pushes his large fingers further into her mouth, an abrupt choke rasps as he reaches the back of her throat. A corner of his mouth curls deviously as he watches her eyes glitter with tears. He pumps his hand again, the sound of her gag causing his jeans to tighten further, his eyes swirling into a deep obsidian. "Are you sure this is what you want?" He spreads his fingers apart, allowing her tongue to glide back and forth in between his knuckles. 

Tatum hums as he pulls out his fingers, licking her lips as an invitation for more. Keeping her hooded gaze on him, she pushes Ethan back into his seat before lowering his head. She straddles across his lap, his large hands finding her hips before caressing the thick curves of her ass.

"You know what I want?" A Cheshire grin crawls across her face as she roughly combs her fingers through his soft, espresso waves. "I want you to show me what belongs to you."

Ethan's eyes grow curiously large as Tatum grips the hem of her shirt, discarding it quickly before unhooking her bra. "Touch me, Ethan."

His hands slide up her bare back, his fingertips hungrily digging into her skin as he pulls her into a crushing kiss. She wraps her arms around his neck as his tongue swipes to deepen the kiss.

He finally nips at her bottom lip, giving it a tug before tracing kisses down her chin to the delicate lines of her jaw. 

Soft moans escape her mouth with tickled giggles as his mouth dips lower across her delicate skin. She grabs his hands, guiding them to her pert breast, his grip suddenly eager and rough. His thumbs tease the ache of her hardened nipples, stars of her own arousal dancing before her eyes in bright glitters of white.

And then bright lights of red.

Then blue.

And then red again.

And suddenly, there's a gentle tap against the window followed by the intruding strobe of a flashlight.

"Alright, kids, take it home."

"Oh, fuck," Ethan mutters as Tatum lets out a stunned scream.  He abruptly grabs Tatum to hurry her back into her seat; but with his jerks pulling against her own attempts to hide her nakedness, she tumbles off of his lap, landing on the floorboard with a loud thud. 

He sits his seat up while trying to adjust the obvious and painful bulge in his jeans. Wiping his mouth, he rolls down the window. He clears his throat and fixes a charming smile to his swollen red lips.

"Evening, sir."

"License and–" The police officer stops, hearing whimpers coming from the passenger side of the car. He shines a light and notices a crumpled Tatum, her shoe stuck behind the gear shift and trying to crawl into her seat from the floor. "Son, I highly recommend that if you want to–" he dramatically coughs, "continue the rest of your night, you fix that."

"Y–yes, sir. I will–uh… right now?"

"Right now," the cop gives a wry smile. He glares at Ethan as he sucks on a lollipop. "As for you, young man, in the spirit of Valentine's day," he scoffs into a snicker, "I'm letting you off with a warning." He sighs, shoving a small notebook in his pocket. He turns on his heel to leave, but stops to inspect Ethan one more time. "Get a room."

As the officer returns to his car, Ethan breathes a sigh of relief… then he jumps out of the car to race around to the passenger side. 

"Tatum! Shit, I'm sorry!" Ethan gently helps her up, positioning her into the seat before taking off his jacket to drape across her bare chest. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," she quietly answers, holding her head in her hand. "I think I'm fine." She moves her arm to pull the jacket over her shoulder when Ethan gasps.

"Oh God," he hisses, "you hit your head!" He gently takes her chin into his hands, turning her neck to get a better view of her face in the light. A large, purple knot was growing along her hairline, several blonde strands now stained a deep rouge. "Shit. We need to get you to the ER–"

Suddenly, Tatum cups her mouth with her fingers, stifling her laughter.

"What could possibly be funny? You might have a concussion–"

Tatum lets out a snort before a bubbly tirade of giggles fills the night air. "I was hoping you'd leave a mark on me tonight… I just… I didn't picture it quite like this."

Ethan rolls his eyes, but is glad she can see the humor of the moment. He snickers under his breath, fastening his girlfriend's seatbelt. "I'll keep that in mind." He shuts the door, hurrying back to his seat. He starts the car, but before driving away, he glances at Tatum with a mischievous smile.

"What?" She questions, dabbing away her tears from laughing so hard.  He chuckles, licking his lips. "What? Tell me!"

"Oh, baby," he smugly croons, "trust me; that contusion is nothing compared to the marks I have planned for you later." 

~🖤~

Thank you so much for your support! Every like, comment and reblog means the world to me! 🖤

~🖤~

Tags (please let me know if you'd like to be added/removed)

PERMA

@alj4890 @ao719 @charlotteg234 @issabees @kat-tia801 @kingliam2019 @mainstreetreader @mom2000aggie @neotericthemis @nikirennie87 @peonierose @socalwriterbee @tessa-liam

ALL OPH

@alyshak92 @annfg8 @bisexualdisasteracd @cariantha @coffeeheartaddict2 @lsvdw-blog @mvalentine @ofmischiefandmedicine @rookiemartin @starrystarrytrouble @youlookappropriate

[teememdee]

2023 ART SUMMARY!!!

2023 was uhhhhhhh a year! And I made art! And I’m going to talk for a long time about everything I did month by month! Yippee!!!

original individual posts can be found in my #tanner art tag!

JANUARY

Started off the year with my favorite skrunklies sleepy and snuggling. Then sleeping together while holding one another is so incredibly important to me, they’re so cute and I needed to draw it. Struggled with Kai’Sa’s face but I particularly like the drapery of the pillow behind them.

FEBRUARY

First off, just a simple Kai’Sa piece for the Vibes(TM) and background practice. I was also fairly miserable and when I get miserable I draw Kai’Sa being miserable as well. I love my favorite character of all time <3

Then a quick Valentine’s Day piece, soft gradient map stuff. Love my skrunklies, hopefully this year I can make something for the day that isn’t rushed

MARCH

In March I FINALLY finished my Star Guardian Kahri fic, be the light to carry me, and drew Kiko and Ina being adorable together to go along with it. They’re SO cute and people LOVE that fic. Chapter 3 ended up being a whole 20k words and every time I re-read I’m amazed that I wrote it.

A kiss for Kai’Sa’s birthday! This was actually two sketches mashed together because I had a good Kai’Sa and a good Ahri on separate attempts. Love Kai’Sa’s smile on this one.

NOW. Strong contender for my favorite piece of the year. Captioned “please don’t lose yourself,” my K/DA-verse Kassadin’s very dead wife’s ghost weighs on him, begging him to not get lost in his grief and lose sight of their daughter. Kassadin feels lost and broken without her. I love the emotions in this one, and I think the idea comes across even without knowledge of my headcanons. Love it so much.

APRIL

Full-body piece that took me all month. I just love this one so much. It’s just pure Kahri, pure love, pure joy. Pose inspired by Blake Belladonna from RWBY’s leg pop during the long-awaited Bumblby kiss. This piece just makes me so happy.

MAY

Oops! No art! Was too busy being on a (student) film set every weekend as well as dealing with classes and multiple other stressors. I did START a piece though, but wouldn’t finish it until the middle of June.

JUNE

I actually did the first sketch of the Evelynn piece in February, but I decided to revamp it in May, and then when school finally set me free I finished it, and it turned out exactly how I wanted it to. Her hair was a labor to render but I'm so so pleased with how it looks, as well as the blood. The first time I've finished a fully rendered Evelynn piece!

Naafiri is so fucking cool. Upon her reveal, I was seeing so much incredible fanart and I just needed to get in on it. The shapes and points are just so good. I used to draw dogs all the time as a kid, and my younger self would absolutely flip out at seeing this. I did this piece in one day, and I have no idea how I pulled that background off but hopefully I can do it again some day lol

JULY

Two drastically different vibes here. Realized it had been forever since I had drawn Kahri so I just wanted to make a cute summertime piece. Their hands should be bigger and it bugs me but this is still really cute, I missed my girls dearly.

And then my very very sad man Kassadin being very very sad about his very very dead wife. This is what I call his phase 2 design, when he's at the peak of his grief (spiraling, as emphasized by the background) and feels just so sad and alone. In my head this and the March piece are part of a series that I hope to continue.

AUGUST

Just one piece that took me all month because I was quite busy in August, and Runeterra Kahri pieces take forever, but as I always say, it's always worth it. This pose comes from mellon_soup on instagram, who makes a lot of really great pose references for artists to use, highly recommend checking them out. This piece is just so soft to me. Captioned "'you're beautiful, you know that?'" they're saying it to each other, two people that struggle with their self image finding love and confidence in the other. Also I'm so very happy with the background. I love these two so so so so much, they're my world.

SEPTEMBER

One of my goals for this year was to branch out in the fanart I made. Baldur's Gate 3 came along and I love watching my best friend play it, we love Shadowheart and I just wanted to draw her. This came after a lot of sketches of both her and our favorite Tav that ended up changing how I draw eyes. The rendering of her face here is also something I'm proud of, her nose looks great. And again, the background! This piece didn't get a lot of attention at all but that's okay, I made it for me and I'm very happy with it.

OCTOBER

STAR WARS TOXIC YURI WENT CRAZY THIS YEAR!!! Wolfwren (Sabine Wren x Shin Hati, from the Ahsoka TV series) had me by the THROAT for a solid two months or so, I haven't been that feral and deranged over a ship in a hot minute. They had me frothing at the mouth every episode even though I did not like the show overall. Anyways. First piece is a redraw of the part in episode 4 where they just have the most charged eye contact of all time, and I decided to take that in stride with inspiration from Horimiya, a favorite anime of mine, during particularly emotionally charged moments, the background changes and there's a particular color silhouette behind them. It really fits that moment of the show and I am SO proud of these faces, especially Sabine's. Drawing from a real human face reference was kinda new to me but it's taught me a lot. The file size also ended up enormous somehow idk lol

Then, my most popular piece of the year, on both tumblr and twitter. I LOVE hand imagery, I love subtle hand touches, I churned this out in I think exactly one day, it's so soft it's so cute and I totally understand the overwhelming positivity it received.

NOVEMBER

I was not doing well at this time in the year. The state of the world just had me in a horrible mental state, I wasn't taking care of myself well at all, I couldn't get myself to make art, especially something happy or cute, it just felt wrong. But then sometimes you feel something so strong and specific there's no other way to process it than to make art. To make a long story short, earlier in the year I thought a girl liked me, I liked her back, but it turned out she did indeed have a boyfriend the whole time. We didn't see or talk to each other for a few months but in November we (and the bf, lol) met up again. When she saw me at the door she smiled at me so sweetly and it was just the worst feeling ever and I just had to hide it behind a smile and a wave. Oversharing aside, this is a style I'd wanted to execute for a while and I'm really pleased with how it turned out, would love to make more like this.

DECEMBER

All of this was done / finished in the first two weeks of the month because then I got sick + was visiting family + jet lag took me out. Kinda sad I didn't get something done for Ahri's birthday or a traditional Kahri Winter piece but that's what January is for. Anyway.

Sometimes you just want to draw girls kissing and sometimes you wanna make it a little suggestive. Not much to say. Proud of the drapery on Kai'Sa's sleeve and you can always tell I love drawing hands.

Now it's time for classwork. Here I just have two pages but I've posted the whole comic on its own, this was for my "Art and Text" class, I have it printed in a booklet and my classmates + friends have responded to it so sweetly I'm really proud, I really really want to make more comics. This project was a culmination of so many inspirations from other artists and I'm really happy with the execution even if it was really rough for me to manage my time well for that class.

Then for my "Fiction and Allegory" class, two of my friends and I made a storyboard film (which I don't want to share publicly, but if I know you you can ask for a link) and during the all-nighter two of us pulled to get it done on time, I decided one scene needed music instead of diegetic sound, so I churned this out on garageband in about an hour. Would definitely love to try my hand at making more music in the future. Wish my classmates / teacher liked / understood the film more but oh well. I learned a lot and for the thousandth time, I'm proud of what I did.

IN CONCLUSION:

I ended up with less full pieces than 2022 but what I did create in 2023 are big, detailed, emotional pieces, and I'm more than satisfied. I think my skills in rendering, backgrounds, and colors really improved and I'm looking forward to how I continue to improve in 2024. This upcoming year has a lot of scary stuff ahead (namely graduating college) but I will come out the other side regardless, hopefully with just as much art I'm proud of.

If you read all of this, thank you!! If you've liked, shared, or commented on any of my art, thank you!!!!!! It means the world, always.

[violetscavern]

hello! :3

i wanted to request something for ghost x fem!reader where the reader lives in a cottage in the forest and has the cottagecore aesthetic and ghost is her boyfriend which of course ghost looks so intimidating😭 so you would guess a girl like the reader is dating someone like him (i also think he would look so out of place since he’s living in the cottage LMAO) so i was wondering if you could write just like a day in their life :3 (and maybe ghost stopping by to say hi and see how the readers doing while she’s managing her stand in the farmers market she goes to🥹) im just a sucker for domestic fics

i hope i made sense and i would love to see what you do with this! <33333

have an amazing day/night :)

Awee this is so adorable!!

Cottage Core Ghost x !fem reader

fluff

The first thing I hear in the morning is the light drum of rain against my window. I ruffle my white bedsheets as I sit up, rubbing my eyes sleepily as glancing out the window.

Its days like this where I’m glad i decided to move from the city . The bustle of the urban area is nice for some time being, but after a while it gets overwhelming (too many people and not enough room). I prefer to stay in quaint and secluded estates, thats why I made the decision to move to a cottage in the forest with my boyfriend Ghost.

Ghost and I are what you call an unlikely pair. The shock I see on most peoples faces when they witness us together is almost comical. He’s a 6 foot 2, 200 pound muscular guy with a major resting bitch face and I’m a smaller girl who wears floral dresses and works at a farmers market. Our aesthetics never really did match, but he seemed to like it that way.

My Ghost how I miss him. He’s always off on missions and business trips for at least 5 days at a time (maybe more) , so when I see him its a shock. His thing is not tell me when he’s coming back, and if my calculations are right it could be any day now.

I lay back in my bed and let my head go limp on my fluffy paper white pillow. My room is what i’d describe as tranquil - with plants hanging from the corners of the walls and lights illuminating my sheer pink curtains. I grasp the pillow next to me and cuddle it between my legs. ‘baby could you take any longer?’I think as I rest lazily in bed.

Thats when i hear it. A creak on the hardwood and a rustle at the door, accompanied by what sounds like a bad attempt at tip-toeing because he’s too damn big. It’s definitely him.

I spring up out of the bed and rush out of my door, down the hall and stumble into my living room. There he was in all his glory, my boyfriend of three years, “Ghost !!!” I squeal as I leap into his muscular arms that are already open for me. “Hi princess” He embraces me in a almost suffocating bear hug, and greets me with the low voice I’ve craved “Baby i’m so sorry I took longer than expected.” he reasons “so much came up I’m sorry I took a week”.

I dont think you’ve ever seen his eyes look that sad as he lowers me and picks up his duffel bags in defeat. “It’s okayyy Ghost I understand. Your work is important” I reassure. “But you must have been so worried” he furrows his brows in response and looks down. “y/n whatever you wanna do today, I’ll do it in a heartbeat. Consider this my apology”. I perk up at this statement, already knowing what I’m gonna do. “anything?” “anything.”

I yank my gentle giant by the wrist, and drag him out the door. “Where are you taking me y/n? you sure seem eager” He chuckles as I lead him outside to a pair of matching blue bikes. A bike ride to the local farmers market is fairly short, and the reward even better. My job is one of my happy places. I feel like an angel in heaven being surrounded by all my favorite plants and vegetables while being the ceo of my own stand.

I hand my intimidating giant of a boyfriend an apron and say “you’re gonna help me with sales today”. He nods in compliance and takes the space to my right.

“Bless your heart Ghost, but you’re literally customer repellent” I remark as I prepare to ride my bike home against the approaching night. “okay well in my defense,” he puts his hands up “everyone was scared of me and I have no idea why” “I think it’s because of your height, but the way nobody came is kinda hilarious” I joke as I begin to peddle alongside my partner.

When we get inside, we immediately slump over the couch. Ignoring our stickiness, we turn on the tv and watch whatever entertaining thing is on. My boyfriend wraps his strong arms around me and starts drawing soft lines up and down my back. he whispers in my ear “I’ve missed you so much y/n. You truly have no idea” simultaneously placing small kisses on my forehead and neck, and I close my eyes peacefully. Glad he’s finally home.

[sunnyrosewritesstuff]

For the Sweet and Spice Bingo: cooking together with Bofur and Bilbo please? <3

First off Lathalea, I'M SO SORRY ABOUT HOW LONG THIS TOOK! Not to sound too much like a fanfic writer, but my health has taken a bit of a hit this month...on top of various natural disasters. 🤣

But this was something different for me and I do appreciate the challenge! 😊 I hope you enjoy.

Pairing: Bilbo x Bofur

Words: 928

Warnings: mentions to canon character deaths (but literally just in passing, this is actually a fairly fluffy fic)

“Now Bilbo, you should know I’m not anywhere close to as good a cook as my brother.” Bofur explained as he let the hobbit drag him along.

“Well I suppose it’s rather a good thing that I do know what I’m doing.” Bilbo remarked wryly. “I just need someone handy with a knife to dice for me, and you seem to fit the bill well enough.”

“Alright, alright.” He laughed.

The truth was Bofur was rather excited to get to spend some time with Bilbo. He had taken the Durins’ deaths just so hard, not that any of the rest of them were any better. Bofur was more than happy to be the one to put a smile back on the hobbit’s face. Without any more complaints, Bilbo had Bofur shoved into his small kitchenette, halfing cherries and other assorted berries.

“What is it that we’re making here again?” He asked as his knife slid smoothly through the blackberries.

“This is my Mam’s magic berry tarts.” Bilbo explained as he rolled out the dough.

“And what’s magic about it?” Bofur teased.

Bilbo gave a sort of breathless laugh, before his smile turned bitter.

“She always used to pull them out and let me help make them any time I was upset. Slipped down the Hill and scraped my knee? Magic berry tarts. It’s a rainy day with nothing to do? Magic berry tarts. Theo Brandybuck turning down my flower? Magic berry tarts. Somehow the process of making them helped me forget about whatever was on my mind.”

“And what exactly am I helping to distract you from?” Bofur asked softly.

Bofur half-expected to see Bilbo’s expression turn sour, but the little hobbit merely gave a sigh and a considering look. 

“Spring is almost upon us. I’ve been thinking about the Shire more and more with each passing day.”

It was a rather innocent statement, but one that caught Bofur off-guard all the same. He should have been expecting it. They had all wondered what Bilbo's plans would be, especially after he declined Gandalf’s invitation to travel with him after the grizzly battle that named Dain king rather than the one they followed. 

“And you’re thinking of…going back?” Bofur asked carefully as he placed the cut berries in the bowl next to Bilbo’s elbow.

“I’m not sure.” Bilbo admitted as he directed Bofur to cut his dough into squares. “There are many reasons to leave, only one really left on why I should stay. But I dare say it’s a worthwhile reason.”

Bofur slowed down on cutting the dough as he observed Bilbo. His attempts to keep from making eye contact. The blush that carried all the way up to his pointy little ears. Bofur felt like he had been stabbed in the stomach, but he forced a teasing grin anyways.

“Oh! So someone has caught our illustrious burglar’s eye then! Well out with it. Is it Nori? Is it that bloke from the Iron Hills who you’ve been talking to about pipeweed? There’s no shame a-course! He’s a fine lad with a rather lovely beard…”

Bilbo’s brows furrowed together as he shook his head, pausing in folding in the berries.

“No, how did you…? Ahem. No, it’s not Nori. And it’s not Durlik.”

Silence settled between them at the confirmation that there was someone in the mountain Bilbo was being sweet on. Bofur cut the last square, wiping his hands off on his pants when he was done.

“There now! Well then, if that’s all I should probably go. I think Bif was waiting for me down in his workshop after all. But I will happily accept some of these delicious magic tarts when you’re finished baking them!”

“WAIT!” Bilbo cried out, reaching out for Bofur’s sleeve.

The dwarf froze as the hobbit stood there. Wide-eyed. Almost shocked by his own actions. 

“I, uh…” Bilbo coughed as he began to fidget in place. “That is to say…part of the magic of magic berry tarts…is that you make them with someone you care for.”

Bilbo looked up at him from under his lashes as his formed fists bounced against the side of his thighs. Bofur stared at him blankly. Well of course, that’s what being a friend was…oh. Oh. He wasn’t quite certain what look was on his face as he figured it out, but he could tell Bilbo knew as the perceptive hobbit’s mouth quirked into a quick weak smirk.

“You know…” Bofur began, his voice unusually hoarse. “I would think if your only reason for not going back to the Shire was because of a single person…well that’d be a mighty silly reason.”

Bilbo’s entire expression drooped as his eyes turned straight down to his furry little toes. Bofur had to put his hand under his chin to get him to look back at him. 

“After all, I’m a rich dwarf now. I could plant roots just about anywhere I want to, I reckon. Also I’m not afraid to tell you that I’ve never met him, but Theo Brandybuck sounds like an idiot. Anyone would be lucky to accept a flower from Bilbo Baggins, this dwarf included.”

Outwardly, Bilbo didn’t seem to react much beyond a soft sigh and a twitching nose. However, his soft hazel eyes were practically brimming with emotions. 

“Well then.” Bilbo breathed. “I guess that’s that then. See? I told you. Magic berry tarts.”

Bofur laughed as he pulled Bilbo in for a hug, not feeling quite brave enough to kiss him. Luckily, bravery was not a trait the hobbit was short on. 

[sophieinwonderland]

Can you talk about the study on tulpas that Stanford is doing? We remember you mentioning it

Sure!

Here is the post in r/tulpas from 2019

The event was 3 days long: 2 for travel, and 1 day for scans and interview.

I flew in in the evening, and caught a university paid Uber to the hotel. It was in the afternoon at this point. The flight from SLC to SFO isn’t a particularly long one, so I wasn’t horribly tired and didn’t feel like crashing for much. I relaxed a bit, and decided to meet up with another mancer in the area, and get a bite to eat. After a lovely talk with them, I headed back to the hotel to try and get some decent rest for the far more busy day tomorrow.

I had previously told the crew that I was more of an evening person, so we had the interview over lunch, and did the MRI scans later in the afternoon. Lunch was at Tanya Luhrmann’s home with Michael Lifshitz, on the Stanford campus. The interview was actually rather enjoyable, and gave us much time to talk about tulpas, the community, and Aly in particular. The interview was recorded by all 3 of us at the table, but the other two also will be transcribing it for better use later. It’s entirely possible to ask for a copy from them, and I might get a transcribed version later, but I have my own copy of the audio at least.

The interview was fairly free form. There were some formulaic questions, much like I received in the pre-study questionnaire. But there were also much more open ended questions, that didn’t have a set destination. More than once Tanya would get excited by a response, and ask more followup question that would end up following one tangent after another. The questions were fairly varied; from the more expected ones like how I found out about tulpas or why I made Aly, to more unexpected ones like trying to describe how specifically Aly helps me. The time flowed pretty quickly during the interview, as I attempted to explain my relationship with Aly and the experience of having her. I think I did okay, but there weren’t really any sort of wrong answers.

The MRI scan was fascinating. Due to scheduling restrictions, my session was broken into two portions. Each portion we focused on a separate task. I’m told that one of the two tasks was new, and I was the proverbial guinea pig, but I’m also told that it was a ton easier than the previous one. I wasn’t going to complain. I don’t want to go into too many details, to not poison the well so to speak, so that people can practice for the specifics of the experiments. The first one focused on mindvoice and possession/disassociation. It was probably the longer of the two, since it was a little more involved than the second. We found the test to be harder than expected, even though we knew a bunch of the specifics since we helped design the test. Trying to stay focused while the machine is loudly buzzing and clicking at you while you’re stuffed in a tiny tube, wasn’t exactly easy.

During this, I also had expressed interest in getting a nice scan to print off later. So after the experiment was done, they happily obliged and got a full resolution scan of my brain and emailed it to me. I plan on 3d printing it later, maybe at scale but I haven’t decided yet.

We then had to leave the lab for a while, since another group had scheduled it, so I was given like an hour tour of campus nearby and we grabbed some smoothies. At this point, I was pretty open to just chat with Michael, the neuroimaging researcher about the study and other plans, including doing an AMA after the data has finished being gathered and starting to be analyzed or published.

The second experiment was purely mindvoice related, and far less stressful because it was more open ended and less constrained in general. We rocked through this one really fast, taking a lot less time than expected. Which people were happy about since apparently this particular one had just been retooled. It was still loud and took getting used to, but it worked out pretty well. At the end of it, who would have thought being in a tube for 3 hours would be tiring. I went back to the hotel, ordered some food and just crashed on the bed.

The last day, it was mostly just check out from the hotel and get ready to fly. Tanya had a couple more questions to ask, and I had nothing better to do between checking out of the hotel and my flight. I spoke with her a little bit more, then spent a little over an hour wandering the Stanford campus before I caught another Uber to the airport.

The experience was actually really pleasant. I was incredibly anxious and worried about it, probably for the same reason a lot of other people are. Worries about what will happen, what the process would be, Imposter Syndrome worries, and whatnot. But in the end, it actually was a really positive experience, and fell like it was good for both Aly and myself, since there were a bunch of things that got us a little bit closer together.

That all said, the study still has a bunch of funds left, and we’re looking for more people who’d be willing to spend 3 days in Stanford to go through it all as well. Here is the link for the new interest form, to help us screen who would be the best fit for the study.

Thanks all for reading!

In 2021, it was mentioned that the study was on pause due to COVID.

Due to COVID-19, the study came to an unceremonious halt as lockdowns started. Only recently have the facilities in Stanford opened up enough to consider continuing, but there's still a bunch of general roadblocks due to the pandemic.

Last year, a user reported participating in the study and did an AMA, meaning it had restarted by that point.

One user asked what the goal of the study was, and they responded with this:

Trying to see if there's something that shows up on brain scans. Nothing more or less. Afterwards they can compare to see if it's similar to things like DID.

I haven't heard anything on this particular study since, but the ones running it published this in February:

It's unclear to me if the above study is connected to the MRI study. Since it was mentioned that the MRI study had an interview portion, perhaps they used some of the answers from the interviews with tulpamancers for the MRI study for the above?

Either way, it shouldn't be too much longer before the results are released.

And I'm so eager to see both the conclusions, and what the next phases of research are going to be. 😊

[johaerys-writes]

Get to know me

I was tagged by @baejax-the-great, thank you so much pal! 

Share your wallpaper: My phone background for the past six months or so has been the same Patrochilles art that I'm actually not sure if I should post here without permission from the artist lol. But I can confirm that it's the cutest, most loveliest drawing of them, and Achilles looks so baby in it and I love staring at it every time I open up my phone :')

The last song you listened to: Unbound by Asgeir

Currently Reading:  Ten Days That Shook The World by John Reed (don't ask why or how, but my autistic Special Interest of choice for the past 2-3 weeks has been the political intrigue surrounding WWI and how it fuelled the October Revolution so I've been reading any book/watching any documentary I can get my hands on about it), and I've also been listening to The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath while doing chores and stuff

Last Movie: Everything Everywhere All at Once with @baejax-the-great

Craving: Travel :|

What are you wearing right now: My fluffiest house robe and my fluffy slippers and super comfy and soft socks, and yes I'm still in pyjamas 

How tall are you: 167 cm, no idea how that translates in feet and inches lol don't make me google it

Piercings: I have one piercing in each ear, I've often thought about getting more but needles be scary 

Tattoos: 6, and planning to finish my half sleeve by the end of the year

Glasses? Contacts?: Glasses, and I do sometimes wear contacts as well

Last drink: I am currently drinking some lukewarm coffee with oat milk :3

Last show: In the past couple years I've become so bad with starting shows and actually sticking with them lol, but I did do a rewatch of Neon Genesis Evangelion fairly recently..... OH and I watched Interview with the Vampire with @baejax-the-great a little while back which was super fun!! (because apparently I can't watch something unless I can shit talk or go feral over it with Bae LOL)

Last thing you ate: Toast with peanut butter and an apple

Favourite colour: Oooh that's such a hard question to answer!! The first colour that comes to mind is blue -- I always gravitate towards some version of blue, and currently it's deep navy blue, but I also own a lot of powder blue stuff. It's either that or baby pink or cream tbh, but I also own a good amount of gold/mustard things as well. Yellow makes me happy. I find jewel green incredibly pretty though I weirdly don't own anything of that colour (which reminds me I should perhaps make that a priority)

Current obsession: I'm guessing this is a fandom related question, so I'm going to be predictable and say that I'm, as usual, obsessed with Patrochilles and most of the other pairings I am currently writing, even though anxiety over real life stuff hasn't let me engage with them as much as I want lately. I do think about them a lot and have lots of ideas for new stories, and I'm also working my way back into catching up with fics I love, which I haven't been able to do in a while despite the joy it normally gives me. Brains can be very uncooperative at times, but what can you do about it lol. 

Unrelated Obsession: As I mentioned earlier I have been obsessed with Russian and generally European politics of the early 20th century for some weird ass reason lmao, but I've also been reading an in-depth analysis of Aeschylus' life and work I found in some corner of my library, which led me to looking up some academic papers about it, which led me to signing up for an online course about Athenian tragedy, so um?? I don't know what it is with me and going down those endless rabbit holes lately ahah. 

Any pets: I have a cat, aka a baby and a bastard and a devil spawn all wrapped in one (he is currently sleeping like an angel after attempting to tear down the curtains)

Do you have a crush on anyone: Um. Like, on a real life person? A fictional person? I do have crushes on several of my mutuals so if y'all are reading it I'm kissing you on the forehead MWAH

Favourite fictional character: I can't choose, don't make me choose!!!!!!! I can't choose between my children. But if I had to choose then maybe.... Patroclus? But also, Achilles? But also, my OC Tristan Trevelyan and Dorian Pavus from DA? But also Shiro and Keith from VLD? But also -- SEE, IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO CHOOSE

The last place you traveled: It feels like it's been SO long since I've traveled anywhere. I went to Aegina island last summer but since then I haven't been outside the city for even a DAY and it's been driving me crazy. I just need to see some green and blue and listen to nothing but birds or waves or the wind (at this point I'll even take the rooster that woke me up EVERY DAMN MORNING when I was in Aegina lmao). I'm planning on going on a day trip to Mycenae soon though so I'm very excited about that 😄

Tagging forth to @in-arlathan, @mogwaei, @tessa1972, @aymayzing, @inquisitoracorn, @tevivinter, @elveny, @pikapeppa, @petrowriting @peggy-sue-reads-a-book @juliafied, @vimlos, @gloriesunsung, @figsandphiltatos, @gwensparlour, @glimmerofgold, @sabino-sea, and so many more of my mutuals that I'm actually too shy to tag here. But seriously if you're reading this and it looks fun please do it and tag me, I'm nosy and I want to know everything about you LOL  

[damienthepious]

ksldjfjks not letting myself get behind on these again HERE is the CHAPTER enJOY

The Beast In On His Chain (chapter 10)

[ch 1] [ch 2] [ch 3] [ch 4] [ch 5] [ch 6] [ch 7] [ch 8] [ch 9] [ao3] [???]

Fandom: The Penumbra Podcast

Relationship: Lord Arum/Sir Damien, Sir Damien/Rilla, Lord Arum/Sir Damien/Rilla

Characters: Sir Damien, Lord Arum, Rilla, Sir Absolon

Additional Tags: Second Citadel, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, prisoner/guard dynamic, Dehumanization, (which feels like a weird word to use for a nonhuman person bUT. it’s what i got.), Despair, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, (EVENTUALLY!!!! it’ll take a while), Captivity, Suicidal Thoughts, (that will be a theme throughout. inescapable in this particular fic. alas.), Eventual Romance, (Yes the dynamics in this one are fucked. honestly i’m kinda Stretching my limits these days.), (having fun with it. fucking around. it’s fine.), Recovery, (eventually), Self-Reclamation

Chapter Summary: Softness, and sharpness.

Chapter Notes: the last chapter came out short and this one DID NOT. CHAPTER WARNINGS for starvation (again), suicidal thoughts (again), something that is comparable to a suicide attempt, blood, violence, threats of further violence, and heavy implications of abuse/torture. PLEASE let me know if i missed anything, i'm far more worried about accurate warnings than i am about spoilers.

~

"Psst. Good morning, Arum!"

Arum flutters his eyes open at the sound of his name, startled and bizarrely eager and trying not to show it, and the human-

Amaryllis swims into view as he blinks the sleep from his eyes, grinning a conspiratorial grin with the toes of one boot obstinately edging past the line on the floor.

Arum reels himself back with a sigh, raising an eyebrow at the human in a vague question.

He doesn't know why she's back again. He won't let himself hope for another journal of crumbs, and he also doesn't understand this...

Damien isn't here today. He insists on informing Arum when he will be off-duty for a few days, so Arum knows that he will not be here to relieve the current guard in a few hours, even. And Amaryllis is back.

Three times seems... like it wouldn't be a coincidence. Sir Damien has been here more days than he hasn't, since Arum first noticed him. The chances are extremely unlikely that this other human would randomly happen to appear only when Sir Damien is absent.

Arum does not know what that means, but he certainly does not trust it.

"I would ask how you've been," she says, her smile tilting and her brow furrowing with something like understanding, or perhaps sympathy. "But that seems like a rub-salt-in-the-wound sort of question."

Arum snorts despite himself, and her grin returns. He lowers his head again, resting his chin on his arms with the collar digging uncomfortably into his neck, but he doesn't close his eyes, deciding to watch her as she glances back towards the door.

"So. Last time. I got the impression that your favorites were the flowers and the birds. And the landscapes, but most of my landscapes involve both flowers and birds, so." She pauses. "Unless I'm making that up?"

Arum sighs again, still uncertain, but after a moment he nods, ignoring the way the collar pulls. He glances away from her as well, for a moment, when her smile goes even more blinding.

"Great! Perfect. I've been doing a lot with the color green, lately."

She spends three tours worth of time going through her newest journal, packed thick with pages of botanical sketches and examinations of birds, the latter focusing on anatomy and the former- notes that Arum takes a few minutes to recognize as medical. A small part of him wishes he could ask about that. He is fairly certain that one of the succulents she has detailed is a variant of something he has- had in his greenhouse, and he is curious about the differences between the two.

(Has the Keep been able to manage the greenhouse without him?)

The birds feel less fraught. The way she draws the wings- it is perhaps more flat than he would prefer - she draws her lines a little too straight - but the musculature is extremely precise.

When she reaches the end, a few minutes before the next tour is due if his measure is correct, she exhales a long breath and lifts her gaze to him again.

"I hope-" she pauses. "I really don't know how to say this."

Arum lifts his head, then, annoyed and intrigued at the same time. He raises his brow, and she huffs a sigh.

"Alright, alright. Is this- do you like when I come do this? Is it actually- do you actually enjoy it, or do you not care at all? Or am I just making things worse for you?" She pauses as Arum stares at her, entirely blank, and then she continues. "You know that I'd leave you alone if you asked, right?"

Arum rolls his eyes, utterly unwilling to dignify that with a response, and she scowls at him, planting her hands on her hips.

"I mean it. Look, Arum," he twitches involuntarily, ignores it, "I told you before- I'm doing this because I think this- this whole situation is a nightmare, and I can't do anything real about it. Not-" she pauses, and Arum thinks- she changes what she was going to say, shaking her head. "I'm not here to make your imprisonment worse. That's the last thing I want. So. Do you want me to stop visiting?"

She- waits. Watches him. Arum feels his shoulders sink, discomfort and irritation and a resurrected bristling of his remaining scraps of pride, but- she only waits, and after a long, long moment, Arum relents. He shakes his head.

No. He does not want her to stop. He does not want to give up the chance to see her again. Does not want to give up these flattened trinkets of the world beyond these walls.

Her own shoulders lower, her expression melting into something like relief, and she nods with an enthusiasm that surprises him.

"Good. Good, Arum. I'm glad. I just-" she pauses again, biting her lip for a moment in a wincing sort of way, and then she mutters, "oh, fuck all of this," and then she-

She- pulls a page from her sketchbook? Arum makes in incredulous noise, pulling his head back, but she doesn't seem to hear him, her expression fixed in a determined scowl as she shoves the rest of the book into the satchel at her side. She takes the page in both hands, then, and folds it, and then folds it again, and then-

Ah. A little paper dart with narrowed wings, the edges of her drawing jagged and confusing between the folds. She holds it up in one hand, prepared to send the makeshift bird flying, and with one eyebrow raised, she asks, "Catch?"

Arum stares at her for slightly less of a pause, this time, and then he nods again, shifting to sit more upright as he lifts a pair of hands.

She grins, her hand flicking elegantly forward to send the dart gliding in an almost-perfect arc. Arum manages to catch it by a wing between his claws, his arm trembling as he pulls it back, hiding it quickly behind another hand.

"Just- something for- until my next visit. I know it isn't much, really, but-"

Arum shakes his head, not looking at her, his heart- pounding strangely, thudding in a way that makes his sternum feel tight and uncomfortable. He doesn't want to risk a word, but- he hisses sharply to stop that particular line of thinking. He unfolds the paper with more care than is strictly necessary, but with his cracked claws and shaking hands, he does not want to risk accidentally tearing his prize.

It's a drawing of a pond, thick with reeds and with a long-necked heron upright and noble in the shallows. Arum had lingered on this one perhaps the longest of what Amaryllis showed him today. Did she notice that? Was the choice intentional, or was is just the first drawing she could snatch up?

It smells like the charcoal did. Like charcoal, of course, in the first place, but- the warm alive scent he assumes must simply be Amaryllis herself. He flicks his tongue, his mouth painfully dry but still- he can smell the leather of the binding, some sort of wood, perhaps her home or the table she drew on. Chamomile, and his heart lurches again with a sort of desperation. Peaches and honeysuckle.

He tears his eyes form the page to look at her. She watches him with a rapt attention, as if cataloging his responses, but- he can't bring himself to indignation, for once. He's too tired, too... too grateful, despite himself.

She twitches a smile after a moment. "If you've still got the charcoal... I promise I won't be offended if you draw whatever you want on the back. Or- hell, all over the front, too. It's yours, it's a gift, you can do whatever you want with it. Tear it to pieces, it's yours."

Arum swallows, compulsively pressing the paper against his chest, the idea of shredding that peaceful little pond-

No. No, no-

Pathetic. He has been made truly, truly so pathetic. Accepting scraps and crumbs and drops. Accepting pity.

He is so tired.

(In his head, already, the idea of what he could add to the scene. Flora in the empty spaces around the pond. Suggestions of fish beneath the water. Someone at the bank, watching the birds and the frogs.)

He tucks the paper underneath himself, swallowing roughly. He hopes that she does not expect gratitude.

"I'll be back," she says when the next tour group enters, and Arum decides that she... probably isn't lying. He manages a nod, and she gives him another wide smile before she pulls her foot back from over the line, and disappears back into whatever her real life is.

~

The anger feels bigger, after that. He thinks of the knights trapping him here and seethes. He thinks of the little queen with the terrified eyes and wishes he had killed her himself, when he had the chance.

He wishes he could just starve to death. He wonders, if he had any magic to his tongue, if he could talk himself into it.

He folds Amaryllis' page carefully, using the seams from the paper dart, and hides it underneath the metal of the cuff on his upper left wrist, where his bone-thin frame allows just enough room to hide it properly.

And he thinks-

Pity, or kindness. Is there even a difference? Why do these gestures feel safer from Amaryllis rather than from Sir Damien? The knighthood, likely, but- is that all?

Amaryllis feels... earnest. Artless. He can almost feel her own anger, a sharp little mirror of his own. Damien feels as if he is only trying to prove something to himself.

And-

There is a thought, there.

Damien thinks him pitiable. Damien does not seem to fear him.

Damien is willing to risk stepping over the line, to try to offer Arum kindness- pity- whatever it is.

Arum can use that.

Arum thinks, and thinks, and thinks.

And when the guards are not looking, he sharpens the jagged edges of his claws on the stone beneath him.

~

Arum waits a few days. He is patient, in his own way. He knows that even though the knight is bound for foolishness, he is still a knight, and he will not trust a sudden change.

Arum softens his responses gradually, hesitating before he denies Damien's offer of water. He eyes the flask, allowing his expression to actually show the depth of his thirst, and Damien (yes, just like that, little fool) takes another step closer, offering the flask out in a loose hand.

Arum still waits, shaking his head and sighing himself back down to his stone. If Damien means to pity him... well. If it can be useful, Arum will not discourage such things.

Arum hesitates for a little too long, a few days later, and Damien huffs a breath, stepping entirely over the line, lifting the flask and almost pressing it into Arum's claws.

"Really, now," he says in a tone of gentle chastising. "Will you just-"

Arum would say that it almost feels too easy, if it hadn't been for the week or so of prelude. Claws around the wrist, dig the claw of his thumb into the pad of Damien's palm, twist and pull while he yelps at the sudden pain, drag the knight bodily back as he stumbles and-

Oh but he is stronger than he looks, lean muscle hidden beneath all that armor.

Arum is desperate, though. A little struggling is not going to be enough, this time. He folds Damien's back against his chest, twisting two of his own arms so the chains criss-cross in front of Damien's throat and he can pull, holding the knight securely against him.

"Ah- wh-"

Damien is furnace-hot. Arum did not expect that part. Mammals and all their ridiculous overabundance of heat. The foolish, starving part of Arum wishes to melt into the heat, nevermind the rest, he could sleep in this warmth. Almost as distracting as Damien's scent clouding his snout, leather and skin and feathers and-

Honeysuckle? His curly hair is dusted with pollen, he smells like a garden, Arum wants to devour him, but-

Task at hand, task at hand. One chance at this. Needs to play this situation right.

When he opens his mouth to hiss in Damien's ear, however, what comes out is-

"You should scream, honeysuckle."

Which-

Damien gasps, trying to arch away from Arum's grasp, so- it will do. It does not matter that the words tripped on his tongue. His claws and his teeth are sharp, and the chains are sturdy and thick, and Damien must know that Arum could very well kill him like this. The human windpipe is not all that difficult to pierce, or to crush.

"What are you doing-" the knight gasps, all the words compressed to one breath, and Arum snarls and tightens his grip.

"Scream," Arum hisses again, ignoring the flare of pain in his throat, but Damien does not need to. The door to the rest of the Citadel bangs open, and Arum grins. Apparently Damien's yelp when Arum cut his hand had been enough to cause a stir. And-

Ah.

Arum recognizes the knight that charges into the chamber first.

"Sir Damien," Sir Absolon says as he skids to a stop on the stone, his hand on his hilt and his tone strangely warning, as if his ire is directed towards his fellow knight before the monster threatening his life. Two other knights tail him, their expressions far more worried.

Arum does not care about their emotions, just at the moment. He pulls the chains tight across Damien's throat, enough to make him gasp and choke, and then he loosens his grip enough to let the creature breathe again.

"Unchain me," Arum demands, snarling past the collar, "or I kill him."

Damien chokes on a breath even without the chain going taut, panic in his scent now, in his still-struggling frame, but he doesn't try to speak.

"Out of the question," Sir Absolon snaps, his hand twitching against his hilt, his expression pulling into a contorted sneer.

"Then you are going to need to kill me," Arum says, and it would be a purr if not for his shredded voice, subtle and hungry. "That- is your decision. I kill- him. You free me. Or kill me."

Pain spreads from his throat, thudding in his eardrums and then behind his eyes at the prolonged attempt at communication, but- he has managed the most important part. Terms are set. He will be free, or someone will die. Arum would prefer himself, at this point, but-

"Go on then," Sir Absolon says, sharp and without hesitation. He sneers, gesturing his arms wide and making no move whatsoever to draw his weapon, and Sir Damien stills.

"S-Sir Absolon," Damien says, sounding very blank.

Arum tightens his grip, his secondary hands lifting to dig claws into the skin just above Damien's collarbone. "I will. Release me or- or I tear his throat open. Snap him like a twig-"

"Do it. Don't just threaten, monster, follow through." The knight- grins, white teeth in a neat row, and Arum pulls his head back. Even the other knights at Sir Absolon's back shift with something like discomfort, but they do nothing. Say nothing. "Keeping your nasty little swamp tamed is worth the cost of a knight or two, and Sir Damien serves our Citadel bravely, and unwaveringly. He's not afraid. Are you, Sir Damien?"

Damien-

Breathes. Sharp and quick with his eyes on this other knight, his heart thudding hard in his chest, his back pressed firm to Arum's chest, but- he does not answer. His mouth hangs open with his ragged breathing, but either he cannot speak, or he will not. Arum resists the urge to resettle his grip on the knight, resists the urge to- he doesn't know. To press for an answer himself, perhaps. Is Sir Damien prepared to die like this? To die just as much by the word of his fellow knight as by Arum's hands? Sir Damien's prattling tongue is still, now, though, and utterly silent, but- his blankness, his silence must be enough, because Sir Absolon's grin grows even further.

"There's a good boy," Absolon says smugly, and Sir Damien's muscles twitch in Arum's grasp. "He's a loyal knight. Loyal knights are willing to die for their Citadel. So, monster-" he pauses to laugh, an unpleasantly throaty sound that Arum cannot reconcile with Damien's own breath-soft laughter. "Sorry," he sneers, "so, Lord of the Swamp, commit to your threats and do it. See how well that ends for you. You still won't find your freedom, in truth or in death, but by Saint Aaron I can promise you, I do promise you, I'll make you wish you were dead."

I already do, you idiot, Arum thinks with a vicious snarl, feeling Sir Damien's heart skip a beat against him. There is nothing you can do to make my continued survival any worse.

But.

The knight is right. The threat is empty, isn't it? If these fools care so little for Sir Damien- if even his murder could not spur them to kill him in retribution-

They won't release him, either in freedom or in death. Not even in exchange for Sir Damien's life. Sir Damien's life is not worth anything to them.

... Arum should kill him anyway.

He should. He should slit the knight's throat and then try to at least make the other smug bastard bleed before they pull his choke-chain too tight to struggle against. He should make them suffer, as many of them as he can, because it is the only way he can make them feel even a fraction of what they've done to him.

(Sir Damien's heartbeat flutters against Arum's thumb, his breath shallow and uncertain, but alive, still alive.)

Arum swallows, squeezing Damien's pulse a little tighter, a pained growl in his own throat.

He should. He should.

But-

(He never wanted to make a crueler world.)

(How will he ever hear his Keep's lullaby again, if Sir Damien is dead?)

His arms tremble with even this little effort. The memory of the ease with which he once wielded his knives burns at the pit of his stomach. Sir Damien is hot as coals against him, the warmest thing he's touched since... before. His throat burns with the punishment of the collar and with something else, something less defined.

(oh, he says, his eyes so wide and honey-brown and touched by the barest edge of something like sympathy. A nightmare?)

His grip slackens, hopeless. Arum could, perhaps, blame it on his own trembling hands, but Damien startles against him as soon as he is able, twisting in his loosening grip to look back and search Arum's face with his own expression panicked flat. Arum feels what little strength he mustered for this failed effort leave him entirely, feels shame and grief and an ironic amusement at his own failure twist together within him, and he untwists the chains from around Damien's neck, and sways back from the knight so when the collapse takes him, he won't crumple to the floor with all their limbs still tangled together.

Damien half-catches him as he falls anyway, gripping his arms with a shocked noise, awkwardly easing him down against the plinth until Arum can pull away enough to simply curl into himself, burying his collared head against his knees, his trembling arms wrapping around the back of his head, his ruined horns.

"Stupid thing," Sir Absolon spits, fury underlying his tone, and then, "To the infirmary, Sir Damien."

"Wh-what?" Damien says, sounding so completely lost and breathless above Arum's head, and Arum curls into an even tighter ball.

"Infirmary, soldier, you're bleeding and we don't need you here right now."

"But- but he-"

"We can handle the beast, Sir Damien, since apparently you can't. You're done here. Go."

Arum does not look. He can't force his own eyes back open, cannot force his face to lift, but-

He can feel Damien looking at him, an almost burning intensity before he hears Damien's footsteps retreat, reluctant tap-taps across the stone until the door creaks open, pauses a breath, and then clicks uncertainly back closed.

Other footsteps, then. Heavier and with greater purpose, and the other knight - Sir Absolon, if ever Arum wished to curse a creature it would be him - steps closer to Arum's chains.

"Now. Swamp lord. That was an interesting little outburst, wasn't it? We've already been over this lesson so many times, I'd think you'd've learned by now! But maybe that's stupid of me, to think. Humans can learn. Hell, even dogs can learn. But you?" Arum cannot see him, refuses to look, tries not to let himself care, but- he can hear the grin in Sir Absolon's voice as he continues, "You're just a monster. I should've known not to expect any better."

There's a pause. Arum hears metal and leather rattle, and he knows automatically that the knights are setting their weapons aside. Out of reach.

"Now, monster," Sir Absolon says, all false cheer. "I can tell you a couple things about the rest of your day. You aren't going to die. That'd be bad for the war effort, see, and I'm not about to disappoint my queen."

Arum scoffs. He can't help himself, really, and- it isn't as if there's anything he can do to make what's coming worse.

"Shut the fuck up," Sir Absolon says in that same smug, certain voice, and Arum feels- hand on his horn, pressing his face down against the stone. "You aren't going to die, today," he says again. "But I made you a promise, lizard, and I'm damn well going to keep it."