#but I’d like to see it explored from this angle: the lie as an act of self-sacrifice.

[msfcatlover]

I think… I want to see more stories where someone says “I forgive you,” soft & fully of emotion, like their whole heart is breaking… because they don’t. They know, they know, they can never let this go. The wound will never heal. The relationship will never be the same as it was before that horrible thing was done. But the two of them will never be able to move forwards if they spend the rest of their lives trying to stitch it up, only aggravating the wound, causing constant spikes & reminders of pain with their constant prodding. And the person who hurt them, they will never stop trying to fix what they broke as long as they know it’s broken.

So they lie. They say “I forgive you.” They say it stopped hurting. They watch the person they still love, despite everything, breathe a sigh of relief & promise to be better.

The wound scabs over once it’s finally left alone. But it never fully heals. It still hurts when pulled or pressed on; sometimes it cracks open & bleeds.

Maybe it comes up in future fights, because it’s always going to be part of why they’re upset. Maybe they bite their tongue every time someone bumps into it and smile, smile, smile to ignore the pain. Maybe someone finds out eventually, or maybe it’s a secret they take to their grave.

The kindest, most selfish lie they ever told.

[jeridandridge]

Hardest of Hearts

Melissa helps you handle a life changing event. CW: talk of Abortion

A/N: This is a different angle on a trope we’ve seen many times. I decided to explore the other side of a very real situation.

On a Friday afternoon you sit at your usual table with Melissa and Barbara tapping away on your phone lost in your own thoughts. The senseless chatter from Janine and Jacob going on behind you doesn’t even register as you look at the test results on your phone screen.

“Hey you okay, hon?” Melissa sits looking at you concerned.

You can’t do anything but nod and give her a tight smile as your heart beats fast against your ribcage.

“Sweetheart, you look like you’ve seen a ghost. What’s wrong?” Barbara asks in the most comforting way only Barbara knows how.

Letting out a sigh you lock your phone and reach out for your water bottle instead. “I’m okay, really.” It was a lie, but none of your co workers needed to know your personal business. Especially Barbara and Melissa.

The redhead looks at you with something in her eyes that you cant place and you feel like you could cry right there. Being in love with the woman didn’t help your current situation. Getting up abruptly you give the group a tight smile as you gather your things. “I have some stuff to catch up on, you guys have a good weekend.”

As you walk out of the lounge you try to keep it together long enough to get up to your classroom. Looking at the clock you take a shaky breath realizing you have two hours left. It would be an easy rest of the day, you’d been letting the kids work on their own on a project anyway. You could make it.

As soon as your kids are gone you grab your bag and keys slipping out to your car before you can see any of your co workers in the hallway. On your drive away from Abbott you replay that day in your head. Melissa being mad at Gary all day. You planning on asking Melissa to dinner. Gary showing up at the last possible minute for a Valentine’s Day surprise. You meeting your friends at the bar. You going home with one of them. Now here you are pregnant according to your blood tests.

“Stupid.” You huff under your breath. You were always careful. Never hooking up with strangers, always using condoms. Now on your way home you come to the firm decision that you’re not ready to be a mother. You couldn’t even keep a plant alive. You had no right bringing a child into the world when you were still figuring your life out and living in a shoebox of an apartment.

Parking and going inside you lock yourself in for the weekend planning on trying to relax before making an appointment at the clinic for as soon as possible. That’s when you decide you’ll tell Melissa what’s going on. You might not have gotten the girl, but you did trust her with your life.

As the evening goes by, you receive a few texts from Melissa asking how you are and what’s going on but you leave your phone alone. Sitting with a book in your lap you try to escape reality for just a moment, only to be brought out of the story by a consistent knock on the door.

“I’m coming!” You call out getting off the couch. Looking through the peep hole you sigh when you see the redhead standing there with her hair up, hoodie on, and a bag in hand. Opening the door you keep your hand on the knob opening it just enough.

“Melissa, what are you doing here?”

“You’ve been acting weird and weren’t answering my texts so I thought I’d come by.” She shrugs holding up the bag from the store. “I brought treats and I miss you.”

Sucking in a breath you nod opening the door for her to come in. “I’ve been around,” you say softly.

“Yeah hon but something’s goin on. Can we talk about it?” She asks as you lock the door once more.

“There’s not much to talk about, Mel. Honest.”

Not believing a word you say yourself, it doesn’t shock you when the redhead looks at you with an unamused expression.

“Hon,” she sighs, “I don’t know what I did, but you’ve been kinda avoiding me all week, what’s goin on?”

Plopping down on the couch you bring your knees up to your chest, the redhead sitting across from you. God she was pretty.

“It’s not you, Mel. I swear. It’s a me thing and hopefully soon I won’t have to worry about it.”

Melissa reaches out gently cupping your cheek. For just a moment your eyes flutter shut as you enjoy the contact.

“You don’t have to lie to me. You’re talkin to the queen of hiding emotions.” She teases you with a small smile.

Taking a breath you gently reach for her hand removing it from your cheek so you can hold it, a gentle squeeze from the older woman grounding you.

“I’m only going to tell you this because we’re friends and I trust you with my life.” You start, your hands shaking as a cold sweat hits you.

“About a month ago, I went out and did something stupid. Now I’m pregnant.”

Melissa gently squeezes your hands.

“And I can’t keep it.” You let out as the tears start to burn your eyes.

“Oh hon,” she moves forward to hug you, but before she can you reach out resting a hand on her shoulder. The smell of her perfume hits your nose and that only adds to your

“If you hug me right now I think I’ll fall apart.” You all but plead with her.

The redhead nods putting her hands in her lap as you sit in front of her practically shaking.

“What can I do?” Is all she asks. And that’s when the dam breaks.

Tears fall down your cheeks in anger and sadness, undoubtedly making you look psychotic. You wished you could tell her everything, but you can’t. Not now.

“Take me to the clinic?”

The redhead looks at you with watery eyes nodding. “I got you.” She hums gently offering you her hand.

Reaching out you open your arms, finally ready for a hug as you calm your breathing. you hold onto Melissa like she’s your lifeline, a raft keeping you afloat in dangerous waters. She holds you as if you’re going to disappear into thin air.

From that moment on the weekend turns into a blur. That night you climb into bed with Melissa beside you, her hand rubbing soothing circles against your back through your shirt. You want to turn over and wrap around her but think better of it. You’re close enough, you won’t ruin it.

The next morning you wake up with Melissa’s arm wrapped around you and her front pressed to your back in a warm embrace beneath the blankets. When you shift you realize she’s already awake, moving back a bit to let you move.

“I’m sorry I’m ruining your weekend.” You hum moving to face her.

Jade eyes meet yours and soft pink lips curl into a small smile. “Don’t be sorry, hon. My weekend was gonna be crappy reality tv and grocery shopping.”

“Not doing anything with Gary?” You ask with a quirked brow.

“Oh that,” she hums. “Yeah that’s over.”

She says it so nonchalantly, you can’t tell if it’s a good thing or not for her.

“Oh.” Is all you say and that’s where that conversation ends despite you wanting to know more.

As the weekend goes on you’re pampered by Melissa. She makes sure you eat and stay hydrated, and is right by your side when the clinic calls you back in the afternoon.

“The earliest appointment possible would be great.” You hum into the phone as the redhead gently rubs your back. “Yes, thank you.”

Hanging up you set the phone down and tip your head back letting out a sigh of relief. “I’ll have to call in on Monday.”

“Don’t worry about it, let me handle it.” She says moving for her phone.

“What are you gonna say? It’s a little strange for both of us to need the morning off isn’t it?” You worry, hoping Ava doesn’t ask her too many questions.

“Let me handle Ava, hon. I won’t tell her anything personal.”

“I know you won’t.” You nod. “I just- yeah.” You lean against the counter bringing your hand to your forehead. Your mind was spiraling and you didn’t know how to stop it. Watching Melissa tap on her phone you look down at the floor zoning out.

“All set, hon.” She assures you with a warm smile. “Now what’s goin on over there?” She asks coming up to your side again.

“Nothing, just- thank you.” You tell her sincerely, hoping that’s enough for now.

As the clock ticks you toss and turn on Sunday night unable to calm down. Laying in the dark you sigh under the sheets. Melissa wraps her arm around you once more, brining you closer to her.

“Everything’s gonna be fine.” She gently squeezes you.

You don’t know when, but you manage to fall asleep even if it’s just for a couple hours. Waking up to the sound of your alarm going off you let out a huff staying in the warm bubble you and Melissa were in.

“Hon, you awake?” She hums reaching over for your phone turning the alarm off.

“I’m up.” You whisper not bothering to move from the tangle of legs and the arms you’re being held in. “Thank you, for all of this, Mel.” She can think you just mean being there or taking you for your procedure, but this very moment is enough.

“I’m honored you trust me, hon.” She hums kissing your temple. “We should get moving.”

Knowing she’s right you yawn, sitting up and stretching out as you both get up for the day ahead. Brushing your teeth and washing your face you and Melissa move around your tiny bathroom comfortably as if you do this all the time.

“Did they tell you what to do for aftercare or anything?” She asks brushing out her curls.

“Basically no strenuous activity, I’m gonna have a little bit of bleeding and discomfort.” You shrug trying to play it off. Deep down you were scared of what to expect after, but you knew this was the right decision. Having Melissa at your side even if you haven’t told her your feelings is enough.

“When we get back you’re not doing a damn thing.” She tells you in a voice that tells you not to argue. “Take a nap and let me cook.”

“Well I can’t tell a Schemmenti to stay out of a kitchen now can I?” You joke through a nervous laugh.

“Especially after something like this.” She nods moving through the room to get her boots on.

Watching her from the bathroom you take everything in. The lamp in the room is dim, and her hair cascades down her back in red waves. With everything she’s done for you, you’re not sure how long you can keep your feelings to yourself.

“Mel, can I tell you something?” You asks keeping your eyes on the doorframe.

“Hon, at this point you can tell me anything.” She chuckles tying her laces.

“I’ll understand if you change your mind about taking me this morning. But I need to get this out before I go in there.” You let out in a shaky breath.

Melissa stands back up coming over to you gently taking your hands in hers. “You can tell me whatever you need to tell me. I ain’t goin anywhere.” She promises.

Looking at your fingers laced with hers, you take a deep breath before you meet those gorgeous green eyes again.

“I- this is horrible timing.” You laugh sadly shaking your head.

Melissa lets go of one hand reaching up to gently tip your chin up. “Are you gonna tell me or should we get ready, go, and talk about us when you’re feeling better?” She asks you as if she already knows. The way she looks at you tells you she knows.

Swallowing hard you nod, keeping your hand in hers.

Something shifts. The fear you had starts to lift as you walk out to her car a little while later. In your sweatpants and hoodie you sink into the passenger seat with your bag and water bottle taking deep breaths.

Watching the redhead get in the car she settles herself and starts it up, pulling out of your apartment complex. Going through the streets it’s relatively quiet in the city, some people are just going home and some are getting ready for a long day. As you get closer to the clinic you feel Melissa’s hand on yours stilling your shaking you hadn’t realized was happening.

“Is Barb gonna hate me?” You ask quietly, thinking of how you dragged her best friend into this mess. She was a Christian woman after all.

“Barb doesn’t need to know your business,” Melissa shakes her head. “But if you do tell her, she’s Barb, hon. She’s not gonna hate you ever. Especially when you’re with me.” She squeezes your hand with a soft smile.

The rest of the drive goes fine after that. You do your breathing and hold Melissa’s hand, only looking up as you pull into the lot where you were instructed to go to. Parking, Melissa gets out with you giving you a sense of relief. “I told ya I’m not goin anywhere.”

And sure enough she doesn’t. Through the paperwork and exam process, Melissa is by your side holding your hand. When you wake up from the procedure she’s there in the waiting room as you’re pushed out in the wheel chair. The kind nurse that was there from the start takes you out to the car making sure you get in safely with Melissa’s help.

Sitting groggy and sore you look at Melissa through the window with hooded eyes as she speaks to the woman, realizing you fell for her for all the right reasons. The drive home is a slow one. Melissa takes her time making sure to avoid as many potholes as possible, driving cautiously enough to have people honking at her.

“Yeah yeah go around me.” She rolls her eyes.

“Don’t use the car bat.” You mumble the joke out, eyes still closed in the passenger seat. When you wake up to Melissa carefully opening the car door you feel her hand stroking your cheek.

“Hon, cmon let’s get you inside.”

Sitting up you blink a couple times, swinging your legs out of the car you wince as you get up.

“Nice and easy.” She encourages wrapping her arm around your waist.

Leaning into her you walk slower than usual into the building. You were happy you had an elevator. Up to your apartment Melissa keeps you close, keeping her arm around you as you unlock the door.

“Let’s get you to bed, hon.”

“Come with me?” You ask quietly, as if she hadn’t already told you she knows how you feel about her. She was so understanding of everything and on top of that you were so tired you could cry.

The redhead nods, gently rubbing your back as you go back to where you started your day just a couple hours ago. Getting your shoes off Melissa helps you lift your legs onto the bed, putting the blanket over you. Laying there in your still dark room you wait for the redhead to join you, her arms immediately going around you as she lays down.

When you feel her lips meet your temple in a soft kiss you let out a content sigh, drifting off to sleep with your hand over hers.

[the-cult-of-russo]

Who's my Good Boy?

Pairing: Billy Russo x Reader 

Request: will you write the post you reblogged, the one that says billy likes to be called 'good boy' in bed? if not, can i request that? 👀 thanks!!!!

A/N: Oh man. This one… I had way too much fun with this one lmao It took on a life of its own and I don't know if it went in a direction you're okay with, but fuck me sideways, it went there 😂 

Warnings: cursing, smut. Like serious fucking smut, I'm not even kidding. Knife play, lil bit of blood, dom/sub bullshit. Sub!Billy for once and the little shit secretly loves it. 

If you're under 18 then please avert your eyes and scroll on by. If you're over 18 then enjoy and maybe cleanse yourself in some holy water when you're done lmao. I'd say I'm sorry but that would be a bare faced fucking lie 😂😂😂

------------

You glanced in the mirror and admired your appearance. The black lace lingerie looked good on you and you felt pretty sexy. It was a new set since Billy had already seen every piece of underwear you owned. It was time to cash in on your win and you knew just what you wanted. 

You and Billy often bet with each other over numerous things and more often than not, Billy would win. This time you'd actually won and like hell you'd be squandering this opportunity. He'd bet that he could get more girls numbers at the bar you'd been at and you'd gladly accepted. Never one to turn down his challenges. 

Maybe it was weird for a couple to go off and flirt with other people and get their numbers like that but both of you never intended on calling the girls. It was simply a fun challenge. And you wished you'd taken a picture of Billy's face when you both counted and you'd got 5 more numbers than him. He looked horrified, wildly offended, ridiculously proud and also pretty aroused. You hadn't cashed in then, two nights ago, and you hadn't told him what you had planned. But you most certainly had plans.

Billy loved being in control in every aspect of his life. It was just the way he was and that bled into the bedroom too. You were more than happy to play the sub to his dom and you loved it, but you often wondered just how Billy would fare if the roles were reversed. How would he handle you taking charge and teasing him to the brink of insanity like he did to you?

You were waiting for him to get home from work and once you heard the door, you grinned to yourself. You knew Billy's senses were sharp, perks of dating a former marine sniper, but you crept out of the bedroom and saw him sat on the sofa facing away from you. You knew you wouldn't be able to sneak up on him, not through lack of trying, so you weren't disappointed that he didn't jump when you leaned over the back of the sofa, wrapping your arms around him from behind. 

"Hey, baby," he murmured with a smile, tilting his head to look at you. His hands came up to stroke your arms and you could see curiosity burning in his eyes at your lack of clothes although he couldn't see from his angle just what you had on. You kissed his cheek sweetly and he smiled, leaning into the touch. 

"I'm ready to cash in my win," you smirked. He raised a brow, lips quirking a little as his eyes glittered with curiosity. 

"Really?" He asked, voice low and sultry and you had to remind yourself you had a plan. 

You were nowhere near Billy's level of patience and control but you'd try hard to stick to the plan. You unwound your arms from him, stepping back a bit and you saw his eyes trail down your body, taking in the black lace against your skin and the stockings you had on. The wolfish grin that spread across his face made your knees weak. 

He got up, slinking over to you like a panther, dark eyes drinking in the sight of you. You had to fight the urge to submit to him. To fall on your knees and worship his cock. Now wasn't the time. He reached out to grab your hips but your hands darted out, seizing his wrists tightly. 

"I didn't say you could touch," you said firmly, quirking a brow at him. His lips parted slightly, a dark chuckle leaving them as his fingers flexed but he made no move to escape your hold despite how easy it would be for him. He looked curious and delighted by where this was going, to see this side to you. 

You let him go, pleased when his hands settled by his sides, clenched into fists. You knew he would take it as a personal challenge but you also knew it would be hard for him not to touch you which is why you had plans for once you got into the bedroom. You grabbed his tie, yanking him close as your lips ghosted his. His clenched fists were still by his sides.

"No touching," you reminded him before you kissed him. He kissed back fervently, his tongue exploring every inch of your mouth and it caused you to moan. Drawing out a groan in response from him. 

When you broke away, a sly grin painted your lips and you could see his resolve for not touching you was wearing thin. You let his tie fall back against his chest before you turned on your heel, feeling his gaze on your ass as you sauntered into the bedroom. He followed obediently as you perched on the edge of the bed, crossing one leg over the other as you looked up at him. 

"Strip," your firm command was met by a smirk from him and he took his time to remove all of his clothes. The man was built like a god and you could feel how wet you were already as your eyes drank him in greedily. His smug smirk let you know he knew just what he did to you. 

You stood up, loving the way his eyes didn't leave you as you beckoned him over. He walked over with no hesitation and his hands went to grab you again. Before you had to intervene, they snapped back to his sides, balled up into fists and you smirked at him as your hands smoothed up his bare toned chest.

"Good boy," you murmured, your lips ghosting his. His groaned, head snapping forward and his teeth caught your lower lip. The only act of rebellion you'd allow for the night. 

You kissed him greedily, a hand fisting his hair as his mouth devoured yours before you moved away feeling breathless. You really needed to make sure you kept control over yourself. You pushed him to lay back, gesturing with your hand for him to scoot up and lay on the pillows. He did as instructed, his heavy lidded gaze never leaving you. You knew for a fact he was staring at your ass when you bent down to get his tie. You made a bit of a show of it and he groaned. 

He raised a curious brow as you returned with his tie in hand and you smirked, moving to straddle him. You sat more on his torso though so he couldn't find any friction from you. You grabbed his hands without a word and pinned them above his head, making quick work of tying them together and to the headboard. His almost black eyes pinned you in place from where he lay and it sent a thrill right through you.

"Y/N…" his low voice was silky smooth but it was full of warning. It was the voice he usually used before he made your ass cheeks red and had you begging him to fuck you senseless. You loved it. You fluttered your lashes at him with a coy smile, gripping his jaw before you leaned down to kiss him deeply. He kissed you back hard and it amused you how he was still trying to have some level of control with this. You'd soon break him. 

"I'm in charge, be a good boy for me," you purred against his lips. He groaned, shifting his hips as he tried to find something, anything, to rub against but he found nothing. You could see the frustration on his face. You moved to kneel next to him, really wanting to avoid his cock as much as possible to really drag this out and you started to kiss and nip at his neck. He tilted his head, giving you easy access as he hummed, hands flexing over his head as he gave the tie a tug to no avail. 

You kissed down his toned chest, giving his nipple a teasing lick and nip and he moaned softly, arching his hips again pointlessly. You couldn't help but smirk against his skin as you continued to kiss down his body. You purposely steered clear of his dick, kissing his thighs as you settled between them and biting them, leaving marks as he groaned. He kept tugging at the tie and you knew it was killing him not to be able to touch you. You were revelling in it. You left another mark at the juncture of his thigh that had him gasping and squirming and you really started to see just why he loved to tease you so much. 

"Shit," he moaned, head falling back as you started licking and sucking at his balls. You hummed around them as you lavished them with attention and he couldn't stay still as he kept arching up at nothing with frustrated groans. You grinned to yourself before licking a stripe up his lower belly, adjacent to his throbbing cock but making sure you didn't touch it. 

"Untie me, Y/N," he strained voice was full of authority as he punctuated his words with a sharp tug at his binds. 

"Ah, ah, ah. I'm in charge," you tsked at him, raising a brow. His nostrils flared at your defiance, a growl leaving his lips. But his eyes were sparkling and you knew that despite how unsettling the lack of control was, how frustrating it was for him to have you not do as he says, he was enjoying it at the same time. 

You moved to straddle him, once again higher up and leaving his cock with no purchase to rub against. You gripped his jaw tightly, leaning down with hard eyes as he blinked up at you.

"You're not being a very good boy, Billy. Only good boys get rewarded," you murmured, delighting in his answering moan. You reached over to the nightstand, grabbing one of his many knives that he always kept there. You twirled it with ease in a move that he'd taught you and you heard his breathing hitch. 

His black eyes glanced at it before going back to your face and you smirked at his groan of 'fuuuuck' as he squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. You trailed the knife carefully down your neck and over your lace clad breasts and it wasn't lost on you how still he became. The knife was incredibly sharp but even through his lust filled haze he wouldn't do anything to hurt you, not wanting to jostle you and have you cut yourself. 

"You gonna be a good boy now?" You asked, blinking down at him. He nodded stiffly and your answering smile was devilish. You slipped the knife between your breasts under the bra, angling it away from you and slicing the material with ease. His eyes were locked on the knife now and his hands kept flexing into fists over and over despite how still he'd become. Your breasts now exposed, you kept the knife in hand as you slipped the straps off one by one and tossed the now useless material carelessly on the floor. 

His eyes drank you in with a hunger that made you wet and you smirked down at him. The knife then sliced through either side of your panties and you slipped the material off and it was discarded with the bra. Obsidian eyes drifted down to where your legs were spread on him and he bared his teeth a little before licking his lips. You took your time, surprisingly still calm and in control as you trailed the blade down from his neck to his chest. He shifted his hips up, once again finding nothing to help, but the tip of the blade nicked his skin ever so slightly and a drop of blood pooled on his chest. You knew he'd done it on purpose since he'd been so careful when the knife was on you. 

Locking eyes with him, you leaned down and licked up the drop of blood and he hissed, tugging at his binds again.

"Fuck… Y/N…" the authoritative tone was gone and replaced with a pleading one and you knew you were finally wearing him down. You gave him a wolfish grin as you set the knife back on the nightstand before giving him a deep kiss that he responded to willingly, his hips moving once more to no avail. 

"Do you know what I want?" You asked softly, lips a hair away from his.

"My dick?" He replied, not missing a beat. His voice was low and hoarse as he leaned up trying to chase your lips but you moved just out of his reach with a snort. You couldn't help it. His grin back at you made you smile despite the current situation. He always loved making you laugh and even this didn't change that. You placed a teasing kiss at the corner of his mouth and when he tried to tilt his head to meet your lips, you gripped his jaw firmly and held him in place. 

"What I want…" you kissed along his jaw, "is for you…" you kissed your way to his ear as he squirmed under you, "to beg," you purred in his ear. 

"Fuuuuck," he groaned, tugging helplessly at the tie. It made you smirk as you sat back upright and looked down at him all innocent like. Your hands trailed down your body, palming your breasts as his eyes took you in. He squeezed them shut for a moment as if that would help but it wasn't for long before his obsidian gaze was back on you. He couldn't help himself. 

He watched with rapt interest as your hand trailed lower until it reached between your legs. You moaned softly as your fingers circled your clit lazily, your eyes not leaving his face. His eyes looked wild now, desperate and you were just waiting for him to snap. 

"Y/N," he pleaded, making you grin wickedly. It wasn't enough though. You ignored him and his restless hips as he tried his hardest to find friction. 

You knelt up a little, allowing yourself to slip two fingers inside your soaked pussy with ease and you moaned, biting your lip as you started fingering yourself. 

"Shit… fuck… Y/N, please," he begged, sending a thrill right through you at how desperate he sounded. 

"Please what?" You asked breathlessly, another soft moan leaving your lips as you continued to pleasure yourself. His dark eyes were darting from what you were doing and to your face, his chest heaving as he squirmed. 

"Fuck me. Fuckin' touch me, I don't care. Do something! Please," he was so helpless and looked on the brink of insanity and it's just where you wanted him. Where he'd gotten you so many times before. 

Your fingers slipped out of you and you offered them to him, quirking a brow. He wasted no time in opening his mouth and sucking them clean, groaning like it was the best thing he'd ever tasted as his tongue swirled around your fingers. Fuck, if that didn't turn you on. 

Gripping his jaw, you rewarded him with a filthy kiss, all tongues and teeth as you tasted yourself on his tongue. 

"Good Boy," you breathed softly, earning a moan from him. You shifted down a little, kneeling up and he hissed when you finally grabbed his cock. You lined him up before sinking down onto him with a moan and the noise he made was downright dirty and you knew you'd file that away for a later date. 

You stayed where you were, unmoving, and when he shifted his hips up to you, you raised a brow in warning at him. It amused you when he complied and stilled immediately, worried you'd climb right off him after he finally got what he wanted. You still weren't done driving him crazy yet and you knelt back up, his cock almost slipping out of you, only the tip inside. You teased him, not sinking down all the way, not even halfway before you lifted back to just the tip and he whined. Billy fucking Russo actually whined and you smirked in delight at the noise you'd drawn from him. 

"Please. Please, please, just… fuck," he gasped, a sheen of sweat breaking out on his brow as he bared his teeth again. Having someone as composed and calculated as Billy like this was a huge turn on and you rewarded him by sinking back down fully until he bottomed out and he moaned loudly. The tug on his binds let you know he really wanted to touch you. If it wasn't for the fact you'd googled the best way to tie him up, you had no doubt he'd be pinning you to the bed right now and fucking you like an animal. He got like that sometimes. Practically feral. And you could see the glint in his eyes right now. 

You started bouncing on his cock, the pair of you moaning and you felt the relief the same as he did. You'd worked yourself up quite a bit but you were proud of yourself that you'd held out and got what you wanted out of him. You'd fully expected to cave to him way before it got that far. He was chanting your name like a fervent prayer, head thrown back in pure ecstasy as you rode him hard and fast. 

He was still tugging on the tie as his hips arched up to meet each hard thrust and you felt him hit all the right spots as you moaned. 

"Untie me. Please fuckin' untie me, I need to touch you," he begged, voice raw as he pulled more on the tie. You snarled, your hand darting out and gripping his throat, squeezing it a little as you kept moving. His eyes went wide, lips parted as he moaned even louder.

"No," you bit out, eyes blazing. His back arched, a gasp leaving his lips as he fucked up at you harder. 

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," he moaned desperately, actually whimpering when you squeezed his throat tighter.

You leaned down, hand still firm around his throat and you nipped at his lower lip. 

"Who's my Good Boy?" You asked breathlessly. 

"Me… I am," he moaned without hesitation. He looked completely blissed out and you felt the pleasure building up at a rapid rate inside of you. 

Seeing him in the throes of pleasure like this sent you over the edge and you cried out, clamping down around him as your hips faltered for a second, your release washing over you.

"Don't stop, don't… please, don't fuckin'  stop," he begged helplessly, his voice a mere breathy whisper as he kept rutting up into you. You obliged through your orgasmic haze and his moans got louder, hands balled into fists above his head before a loud groan filled the room. After a few more stuttered thrusts up into you, he stilled, as did you, and you smiled feeling heavenly.

You leaned over, easily untying him before you collapsed on his chest and caught your breath. He wasted no time in wrapping his arms around you, his hands smoothing the skin on your back as if making up for the time he hadn't been able to touch you.

"Holy shit," he murmured breathlessly, nuzzling your hair. You smiled tiredly before sitting back up. You took his wrists in your hands delicately. They were a little red from all his tugging and you placed soft kisses to each of them. When your eyes landed on his face again he was giving you a soft smile that made your heart stop for a moment. 

"Did you enjoy it?" You asked hesitantly. His smile widened, one hand on your hip as the other stroked your face.

"You're kiddin', right? I think it's obvious I did. Didn't know you had it in you," he smirked. You blushed and rolled your eyes playfully, leaning down and kissing him softly. You moved away to lay your head back on him feeling content to just fall asleep like this with his softening cock still inside of you. 

"I gotta say… I'm pretty impressed. You did me proud," he smirked into your hair as his fingers trailed lazily up and down your back. You hummed softly, snuggling into him more. 

"Well, I learned from the best," you replied with a sleepy grin. He chuckled and you felt him press a kiss to your head. 

"Don't think we're makin' a habit of it though. Was fuckin' torture," he snorted, making you giggle a little. 

"Now you know how you make me feel," you murmured tiredly. He chuckled, a hand winding into your hair as his fingers rubbed your scalp and you were helpless to succumb to sleep when he did that. The pair of you drifted off still tangled together and you still had a smile on your face as you remembered that you'd gotten Mr Marine to beg for you. 

[meetmyblondemuffins]

Movie Antics

Warnings: unprotected sex, exhibitionism, fingering, penetrative sex

“Tickets for two,” I said enthusiastically to the man standing behind the glass of the old, worn ticket booth. I heard an exaggerated sigh coming from the right of me. Looking over at Sirius, I raised my brows and jutted out my bottom lip, attempting to make him feel somewhat guilty. I squeezed his large hand and further intertwined our fingers. “You’ll live, Siri. It’s only a couple of hours.”

I’d been dying to see this new independent film that had been released a few weeks ago. I had been putting off watching it for some time now because I wanted to watch it with Sirius. I could tell he would’ve preferred being left behind. The entire ten blocks we walked from the cinema he drug his feet like a child who was being forced into a dentists’ office. I was surprised he didn’t throw himself on the concrete; kicking and screaming. Although he didn’t throw a complete tantrum, he did try making up a thousand excuses as to why he absolutely couldn’t bear to see one second of this ‘horrendous-looking film’.

It started from the second we stepped out of the front door and into the chilly breeze of a typical, dreary London day.

“Look how gloomy it is. It’s bound to rain—we should stay in tonight.”

“It’s gloomy every day, Sirius. And besides, I brought an umbrella.”

“But… why walk allllll the way to the cinema in the cold when we could snuggle up in a perfectly warm bed?” I giggled at his suggestion.

“Yeah, I’m sure all you want to do is snuggle up in bed.” I knew that for a fact, Sirius wanted much more than to lie in bed when he’d already try to rid me of my clothing minutes before leaving the house.

He seemed more sex-driven the past few days than I’d seen him before. Everywhere we went, he was ready to go; whether he spontaneously suggested the idea while lounging around at home, or in complete public. Refusing a cluster of his many advances always guaranteed nothing less than spectacular sex later on. It’s like all of his built-up sexual tension was released all at once; It was fantastic.

As soon as we bought our tickets and concessions, we walked into the dimly lit theatre. Scanning the rows of chairs from left to right, I noticed that not a single chair in the entire room was occupied. I supposed nobody was up for a film on a greyer-than-usual Sunday afternoon.

Sirius walked to the first row that was closest to the entrance, leading me with my index finger wound around his. We sat towards the middle of the row.

I would’ve preferred to sit closer to the front, if even just a few rows, but I decided to cut my pouting, child-like boyfriend a bit of slack. Sirius slouched down in his seat and crossed his arms over his chest as the lights dimmed to complete darkness. Immediately following, lights of the previews that covered the far wall flooded the room. It was almost blinding.

Looking over at the silhouette of Sirius’s profile, the glow of the projection outlined the miserable look he had plastered on his face. I almost felt bad for dragging him here, but on the other hand, I think he was being a drama queen about the entire situation.

Reaching over the popcorn that I had resting in my lap, I brought the armrest that was separating us to a vertical position so that I could scoot closer to him. I rested my head on his shoulder and whispered into his ear, his flyaway curls brushing against my cheeks.

“I really appreciate you being here, you know.” He wrapped his arm around my shoulder, lightly kissed my temple, and rested his cheek on the top of my head. So he wasn’t completely resenting being here after all.

Sirius and I always did things for each other that we didn’t particularly want to do. We wanted each other to be happy, and it made our relationship stronger as a whole. I was awoken in the middle of the night to him leaving to go prank students with the other marauders and he went to nearly abandoned cinemas to watch films that he had no-to-negative feelings towards. It balanced out evenly.

Halfway through the movie (and also the bag of popcorn), Sirius’s arm that was resting across my shoulders made its way down to my hip. He leaned in to whisper into my ear.

“It’s not too late to get out of here. We could go out to a nice dinner, go for a romantic stroll through the park,” he drug out the ‘a’ in park, “anything. Anything you want.” Turning my full torso toward him, I cocked my head to the side as to say ‘why, why do you do this to me, Sirius Orion Black’. His expression was originally full of hope—hope that I thought this movie was as terrible as he’d predicted before we’d gotten here.

“Anything, huh?” His eyes filled with glee. But his face dropped immediately as I said:

“Well, I want to stay here.”

He went back to slouching in his chair, his head meeting the back of the headrest. I couldn’t stand seeing him act like this anymore. There was no way I was leaving this cinema until the film came to an end; but perhaps I could offer him a deal.

“If you stay until the end, I’ll do whatever you want afterwards.” A smirk form across his lips and I knew exactly what he had on his mind.

Moments later, I was once again engulfed in the film. The main characters had defied their near-impossible chances of being together, and the romantic/sexual portion came to its peak. I felt Sirius’s lips sneak below my earlobe and begin a trail to my collarbone. “I said afterwards, don’t be so eager,” I said placing my hand on his chest in an attempt to stay focused on what was happening between the characters.

“C’mon, even these poor bastards on screen are enjoying themselves. It’s like they’re mocking me.”

“Well I’m enjoying myself. And what, is ‘fucking in a movie theatre’ something you were planning to cross off of your bucket list before you die?”

“Well it wasn’t before but,—“ I cut him off with a look of disapproval. “There’s not anybody here, we’re sitting in the back. This is perfect!”

Before I could object, Sirius crashed his lips into mine. As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t bring myself to pull away. I’d caused him to suffer—or at least act like he was suffering—for a few hours and I suppose I owed this to him. I wouldn’t be missing out on the movie much. It was like I was experiencing what they were doing, but they weren’t in an empty cinema, it was a bit more romantic on their end. However, I didn’t mind much.

Our kiss deepened as his tongue brushed over my bottom lip before it entered my mouth, exploring every corner. His hand lightly cupped my cheek.

I felt Sirius’s fingertips lightly brush over the slightly thin material of my trousers that separated the pads of his fingers from my inner thigh. In a swift manoeuvre, his fingertips slid under the waistband of my trousers and pulled them down, then danced along my skin, igniting sparks as they made their way to my heat. His middle finger slipped past the side of my panties and made firm circles over my clit.

I’d quickly decided not to make this about me. I’d wanted to show Sirius just how much I appreciated him being there, even if I’d practically forced him to.

I palmed his hardening member through his pants and dropped to my knees in front of him. As soon as I unbuttoned and unzipped his skin-tight black jeans, pulling his boxers down slightly, his erection sprung upright, slapping against his stomach. I bit my lip and looked up at him through my lashes lustfully. He shut his eyes, bracing himself for the warmth of my mouth wrapped around him.

I let the tip of my tongue flick over his slit, tasting the saltiness of his pre-cum.

“Fuck, don’t tease,” he groaned, loud enough for only me to hear over the booming cinema surround sound. The flat of my tongue glided over his head as I took the shaft into my hand and began stroking, feeling the veins on his thickness. With each bob of my head, I allowed him to venture deeper and deeper into my throat, hollowing my cheeks until I felt the need to gag. His fingers became entangled in my hair, but he let me go at my own pace. I altered my speed and pressure often which made it difficult for him to stifle his moans.

His hand gripped my hair tightly and he threw his head back onto the head rest, his mouth hanging open. I could taste the familiar flavor of his cum spread across my tongue and slide down my throat.

I stood up from the floor and lifted the armrest on Sirius’s left, allowing us more room. I straddled his lap backwards, his chest pressing against my back. The only thing separating us was the thin lace material of my panties. His right hand travelled up my torso, grazing my rib cage and kneading my breast gently. His left hand snaked around my thigh and pulled my panties to the side. He traced shapes roughly around my centre as I let my head fall back to rest on his shoulder.

He nipped at the sweet spot on my neck and I let out a light moan. As good as his fingers felt against me, I need more. I lifted myself up a bit and reached between us to position his hard cock at my entrance. Slowly lowering all the way back down, I gave myself time to adjust to his large size as he filled me to the brim. He continued massaging my throbbing nerves and I rested my hand over his, getting him to apply more pressure. Arching my back against his chest, I could already feel myself tightening around him and he felt it too. I could feel every muscle throughout his body contract. Every time I had sex with Sirius, it always felt like the first time.

Slightly angling myself to find my g-spot, I let out a muffled whimper and shut my eyes tight when I felt his head brush my

G-spot . I slowly began going up and down on his throbbing dick, grinding against him every time my ass met his crotch. With every motion, I felt my knees weaken a little more each time.

Sirius’s breath became harsh and uneven on my neck and I could tell that he couldn’t hold it much longer. Every individual muscle in my lower body starting in my toes began to tighten in a wave, one after another. The pleasure crept up into the pit of my stomach and I reached my high, becoming a shaking mess in Sirius’s lap. His warm load coated my walls and his fingers dug into my thighs, leaving light scratches.

Once I recovered from my orgasm, I noticed the credits of the film beginning to roll and the lights were returning to their original brightness. I collapsed back into my seat and Sirius struggled to reposition himself back into his jeans. I laughed at the sight of him.

“What?” he questioned continuing to fumble with his jeans.

“Maybe if your pants weren’t so tight Mr Black, you wouldn’t be having such a tough time right now,” I mocked him.

“Whatever, I just hope I don’t have as tough of time trying to get them off when we get home,” he grinned, “you did say afterwards, didn’t you?”

[talkfastromance4]

Indigo--Calum Hood [one]

A/N: I can’t believe it’s finally arrived! Thank you all for being so patient while it took me literally two months to write this fic. It’s my first ever slow burn and the longest fic to date (word wise). This means so much to me and I really put my heart and soul into this. This is also written in Calum’s perspective!

Word count: 12.2k (36k total)

Warnings: themes of emotional infidelity but really all internal with no actions,  confusing emotions and thoughts, nudity, slight mention of body image issues, casual drinking, jealousy, sexual situations

Masterlist

Indigo playlist--really just songs that helped inspire this piece so give it a listen if you’d like!

Feedback is always welcome and I’d love to hear your thoughts on this! 

This is split in three parts because Tumblr's new post limit I can't fit it all in one post. So I'll be posting them all at once!

Enjoy!

***

Calum agreed to help out Sarah and Andy with their latest project. He wasn’t quite sure what it was exactly but anything they create is phenomenal and he’s ecstatic to be a part of it. He’d just texted Bianca, his girlfriend, that he’ll be gone for a better part of the afternoon when he arrives at Sarah and Andy’s place. Pebbles greets him at the door, her whole body wiggling with excitement by his presence.

“There’s our man!” Sarah chirps from the table, her camera and other gadgets placed on the table.

“We aren’t shooting here?” Calum asks bending down to pet Pebbles.

“No, there’s this meadow that gets the sun’s rays perfectly at this time,” Andy informs walking in with his own camera bag. “We’re meeting someone else there, too so we should get going.”

“Someone else?”

☆°•.¸☆¸.•°☆

The sun is beating down on Calum’s back as he walks through the tall grass behind Sarah and Andy. They’re a good distance away from the road and he hopes they won’t go too much further and land in the fate of a 90’s horror film. Andy and Sarah are talking quietly with each other and Calum checks his phone, no new messages from Bianca.

“All right, we’ll start setting up and you just sit and relax until she gets here,” Andy directs to Calum when they stop at a fallen tree that has moss growing on it and its roots extending to the sky.

“Who is ‘she’?” Calum asks, taking a seat on the tree. He wipes at the back of his neck, it’s sticky with sweat. His lips are starting to get chapped and he wishes he brought his water bottle.

Andy and Sarah exchange a look.

“She’d prefer to be anonymous so I can’t tell you,” She responds ominously and unzips her camera bag.

“Anonymous?” Calum is baffled. Andy and Sarah make a point to avoid the topic as they continue to gather their equipment.

In about ten minutes there was another figure walking through the grass and Calum peered at her trying to get a good look. Her hair was blowing in the slight breeze and bangs framed her face. Calum was intrigued when she was first mentioned.

Watching her walk towards them made him think of those snapshots in your life that sticks with you. Something inside of him told him this would be one of those moments.

She was short, which was the first thing he noticed when she stopped in front of him.

“Hey guys, sorry I’m late. Traffic, y’know,” she smiles at Andy and Sarah.

He notices there’s a hint of purple in her hair.

She’s short and has purple hair.

“No problem, sweetie. We were just getting things ready. This is Calum,” Sarah nods towards him and the mystery girl turns in his direction too.

“Hi Calum, thanks for helping,” she smiles.

“No problem, Anonymous,” he grins standing from his tree and holds out his hand.

“Oh, right,” she snickers, stepping forward to take his hand. “You can call me Indie.”

She’s short, has purple hair, and likes to be called Indie.

“Nice to meet you Indie.”

☆°•.¸☆¸.•°☆

Andy and Sarah first have Calum and Indie sit next to each other on the tree while they take some sample shots. This way Calum and Indie can get to know each other a little better. Calum notices the ink on her wrists, arms, and a nose piercing. She asked about his music and what inspires him. He asked what she does and she very offhandedly said with a shrug,

“Social media stuff.”

And that was the end of that. She didn’t add anything more and Calum wasn’t sure if he should ask for her to clarify but her statement had a tone of finality to it.

She definitely intrigues Calum.

“Okay, Indie, can you swing your leg over the tree like you’re riding a horse and lean on Calum’s shoulder?” Sarah asks.

“Yeah.”

Indie does as she’s directed then rests her arm on Calum’s shoulder, her head dropping on top of her arm.

“Both of you look at me...good, now Cal, look down at Indie...good, good. Okay, now I want you to put your leg over his...close your eyes for me, babe. That’s it! Beautiful.”

They continue with different poses on the tree and each touch Indie gives to Calum makes the hair on the back of his neck stand up. His body becomes attuned to her touch until Sarah tells Indie to undo her shirt and lay her head on Calum’s lap.

Calum swallows thickly and watches Indie undo the buttons. He looks away quickly wanting to give her privacy and instead looks towards the direction of the road hoping they’re far enough away from peering eyes.

“Now lie across his lap and let the shirt fall over his legs. Yup, Cal... Calum!”

“Huh?” Cal whips his head forward and feels the weight of Indie’s head on his knees. He’s forcing himself to not look down but his body is aware of her weight on him.

He knows this is all a form of art, but he just met the girl and he was unaware this is how the shoot was going to go. He’s posed shirtless for Andy and Sarah multiple times but never with someone else. And never with a girl with purple hair, a gentle voice, and a pen name.

“Lay your arm over her chest.”

“What? Is that okay?” he looks down to Indie’s eyes, they’re a striking deep blue. Like the deepest part of the ocean and he gets a little lost in them. “Is that okay that I do that?” he asks her this time.

“Yeah, it’s fine,” she nods with a smile. “Thank you for asking.”

Calum carefully places his arm across Indie’s exposed chest; he notices how warm her skin already is from the sun but also feels the small poke of her nipples on the softest part of his arm.

“Cover her nipples a bit, Cal, she’s going to post these on her Instagram and you know their dumbass guidelines about breasts,” Sarah rolls her eyes adjusting her camera.

Calum adjusts his arm which means he has to look where her nipples are. He knows the human body is art in its natural form, and he admires the female body so why is he nervous? Is it because they literally just met and her top is open?

He curses himself. It’s not like they’re making an adult film or anything, this is an artistic moment. Shit, why did he think of an adult film because now a million different scenarios flash in his mind. While he places his arm across her chest, he sees some more ink below her breasts but he can’t quite make out the design.

“Indie, put your hands on his arm, spread your fingers…”

Calum hears the rapid shutter speed of her camera as she captures the intimate moment between strangers. Calum wonders why he was chosen to do this. Obviously, Michael wasn’t at the top of the list because he and Crystal are married, and Luke and Sierra just announced their engagement. KayKay is no novice in front of the camera, but maybe they wanted a girl and guy? Usually, Ashton is up for anything involving the human body.

“Cal, you have your thinking face on, man. Relax,” Andy says.

“Don’t be nervous,” Indie whispers gazing up at him.

Those damn blue eyes again. The purple in her hair really makes them pop and he notices a small freckle at the corner of her eye.

“You’re not?” his voice is hushed so Andy and Sarah don’t hear.

“Of course, I am, this is way out of my comfort zone. But this is art, and I want to explore it,” she shrugs.

It eased him that she was nervous as well. He took a deep breath and fixed her bangs in her face.

“That’s good, that’s really good, act natural,” Sarah advises.

“I like the purple,” he compliments, “it really comes out in the sun and makes your eyes stand out.”

“Thank you. I can’t really see your face because of the sun,” she squints up at him and giggles. Calum smiles at the sound.

The session continues and eventually Calum removes his shirt as well which he’s thankful for because he was starting to sweat. He told himself it was because the sun is at its hottest spot in the sky, not because of some cute girl with purple hair and tattoos with her shirt open.

He leans forward on his knees with Indie standing behind him and the tree, her chest pressed to his back and her hands locked under his neck. He wonders if she can hear how loud his heart is beating.

Another pose has him sitting in the grass with her legs hanging over his shoulders. Calum tickles her toes and she squeals out in laughter and Calum knows those will be great shots.

“Hey! Tickling is forbidden!” she laughs. “I will kick you and it will be your fault.”

“You won’t kick me,” he shakes his head but stops tickling her then notices another tattoo on the outside of her ankle. He looks to his right and sees a small red train on the inside of that ankle. “You have a lot of tattoos. What does this one mean?”

His finger traces the red outline of the train and the small speckle of stars shooting from the chimney.

“I loved Thomas the train engine.”

Calum looks up at her not believing her for a second. From this angle he forgets what his smart-ass remark was going to be because her naked midriff distracted him greatly. The ends of her hair tickled over her nipples, her bangs framing her face perfectly.

She gives him a radiant smile that he can’t deny by returning one of his own.

“All right, that’s it for this spot. Ready to head out Indie?” Sarah asks, pulling them from their small moment of connection.

“Yeah, I’m starved,” Indie buttons up her top.

“Want to come, Cal? We’re getting pizza at Marco’s,” Andy says.

“Uh, let me check my phone quickly, hang on,” he pulls out his phone then slips his shirt back on over his head. One notification from Bianca and she just gave his text to her a thumbs up. “Yeah, pizza sounds great.”

He walks next to Indie back to their cars.

☆°•.¸☆¸.•°☆

“How would you guys feel about doing a night shoot back at our place? The city lights in the skyline would be perfect,” Sarah says when she finishes off the last piece of pizza.

“I’m down for that. Can it be partially nude?” Indie asks, sucking up the last of her root beer from the vintage red cup.

“Absolutely,” Sarah nods.

“What do you say, Calum?” Indie looks up to Calum and he feels like she’s challenging him.

“I’m in,” he nods. He’s always up for a challenge.

The night shoot is out on Sarah and Andy’s balcony. Calum watches Sarah and Indie first from the doorway. Indie has her top open again leaning against the railing. She stretches her arms up above her head, extending her torso and Calum can get a better glimpse of that tattoo below her breasts.

It looks like celestial with moons and stars. As the photos progress, she slips it all the way off and leans over the railing. She does a profile view then reaches her hand out to Sarah’s camera for a close up of her fingers. The two women are giggling and Calum won’t deny how natural and confident Indie is in front of the camera even though she admitted to being nervous to him earlier.

Was she telling him the truth or was she just doing that to keep up this anonymous persona?

“Sarah has a way of making people feel comfortable in front of the camera. It’s her loving nature,” Andy explains as if reading Calum’s mind. “This is all Indie’s idea by the way, the shoot. She wants to do a body positivity session.”

“That’s…” Calum watches with wide eyes as Indie drops her shorts and panties then he sees her cute little bare ass. “Nice.” He clears his throat since she’s completely bare. Andy chuckles and nudges him in the ribs.

Calum is suddenly in the need of a cigarette; his fingers begin to twitch.

He watches her as she and Sarah continue to interact. Indie keeps her backside facing Sarah and Calum spots yet another tattoo on the back of her shoulder. Why’d she choose him to be a part of it? Or was it Andy and Sarah who chose him?

Calum opens his mouth to ask when Sarah calls him over.

“Get your ass out here, Hood, it’s your turn. Sit in the chair,” Sarah commands, pulling up said chair right in front of Indie.

Calum keeps his gaze on Indie’s face when he sits in the chair in front of her, his head seems a bit clearer now without her naked body in front of him.

“Shirt off?” he jokes, trying to ease his own tension.

“Please,” Sarah grins and he peels it off again. Of course, she’d say yes. “Baby, can you get the lights for me?”

The outside lights shut off by Andy and replaced by color changing string lights hanging in the rafters. Calum stares up above as they transition from green to yellow to orange and finally to some sort of purple/blue hybrid. Indie’s face comes into view over his shoulder, her fingers dance on his shoulders, her eyes are shining, and her hair is more purple with the added hue.

“Magical,” Sarah comments.

Indie smiles at him and he couldn’t agree more with Sarah’s statement and a few notes of a soft melody sprout in his head.

☆°•.¸☆¸.•°☆

Calum stayed up all night going through Indie’s Instagram. He thought it would show her real name and he’ll deny to his dying breath that he did NOT spend an hour trying to find her profile. Turns out, her social media persona is displayed as Indie too and he wonders why.

Her posts are all about body positivity which include photos of her body that look professionally done in his opinion. Each pose is perfectly posed so you can’t really see everything but know that she’s fully naked. He tries to make out the tattoos he couldn’t see from the night before, but it’s hard with how her body twists and the way they’re edited.

He reads through some of the comments, agreeing with the ones telling how hot and gorgeous she is. He wanted to tell off the creeps and defend her because her message was about loving your body.

Her photos and posts are real and authentic. She talks about her own insecurities, how learning to love her body seems to be an ongoing lesson. He admires her rawness and understands seeing something different when you look in the mirror but when he sees her...he wonders how she can see flaws.

His phone rings right after he hits ‘follow’ and the noise scares him. His heart plummeted when he saw it was Bianca.

“Hey, babe,” he greets and she immediately rattles off about her day.

Calum puts her on speaker so he can continue to scroll through the photos of him and Indie she posted from their shoot. There are comments from some fans inquiring if he and Bianca broke up.

Bianca didn’t really say anything about his photoshoot, but she doesn’t really say much about what he does anyway.

☆°•.¸☆¸.•°☆

The guys are taking a little creative break after bouncing back chords, verses, and beats that they’ve been working on since six in the morning. Ashton was complaining about needing his fifth cup of iced coffee and Michael was starving so the two of them left to pick up lunch and coffee.

Luke and Calum remained behind like always. Luke never stopped working and Calum always kept him company, enjoying the sounds of his soft guitar playing. Ashton’s lava lamp changes to purple and Calum is reminded of Indie so he pulls out his phone and goes to her Instagram.

She’s made a few new posts within the last several days. The first one is of her standing in front of her bathroom mirror with a towel wrapped around her. Her eyes are wide and bright, her hair is in wet strands and the steam frames her reflection. The next one is darker with the towel dropped; two small black hearts are placed on her breasts.

She captioned it: “conversations with myself about loving me are the hardest conversations I have. Sometimes they’re serious and other times goofy, but that’s with the aid of rum. Being gentle with yourself seems so easy until you come face to face.”

The second most recent post is of her and another guy at some sort of festival. They both have on circular sunglasses and the photos are a little blurry. One is a close up of the guy but he’s out of focus and eating a corn dog. The next one is of the two of them standing in front of a funhouse mirror; she has her fingers up in a peace sign. There’s one of them eating cotton candy and the last is of them on the Ferris wheel.

She just captions it as ‘memories.’

The last one she posted was from several hours ago and it was another photo shoot. She was posed with the same guy from the festival only this time she was topless and his arms were around her in front of a mirror. Another one has her lying on a bed with her head hanging off the edge and she’s upside down. The guy is resting his head on her stomach, both of them are looking at the camera and he’s shirtless too. The last one is of her twisted on the bed under the sheets, her ass peeking out and she’s spread across the guy. His hand is very low on her back.

Calum feels a pang in his chest. The pictures are great and all but why is he feeling this sharp pain and warmth in his cheeks?

“Woah, are you on OnlyFans right now?” Luke snorts and Calum jumps from the sound of his voice.

“What?”

“Pretty raunchy, don’t ya think?” Luke grins and then something clicks within Calum.

Could Indie have an OnlyFans account? Is that what she meant by “social media stuff”? He knows it’s one of the most popular adult content websites right now and that pay is really good if you post a lot. Is Indie her...sex name? Is that what that’s called?

“D’you think she has an OnlyFans?”

“I dunno. Who is she?” Luke stops his guitar playing to look at Calum.

“I...I uh did a shoot with her, Andy, and Sarah a few weeks ago.”

“Really? What did you do?”

Calum brings up the session he and Indie did together, handing his phone over to Luke. He suddenly feels very self-conscious and almost wants to snatch his phone back so Luke doesn’t see Indie bare chested. But she posted it on her public Instagram so anyone can see it.

“Wow, you really did a nude shoot?”

“We had our pants on,” Calum scoffs, trying to take his phone back but Luke stretches his arm out of his grasp.

“She doesn’t in these next ones.”

“Give me my phone!” Calum scrambles over Luke’s broad frame to get his phone back. He settles back on the couch in a huff. “Don’t look at those.”

“You showed it to me! Who is she anyway?”

“I don’t really know. She goes by the name Indie but I don’t think that’s her real name.”

“What do you mean?”

“When we arrived at the meadow for the shoot, Andy said we were meeting someone else there and when I asked who it was; Sarah said she wanted to be anonymous. She posts a lot about body positivity and I asked what she does for a living and all she said was social media stuff.”

“OnlyFans is social media. What did Bianca have to say about these photos?”

“Not much,” Calum shrugs and he gets a Twitter notification from her. Does she have a sixth sense to post or call when he’s talking about her?

He opens up the notification and she’s talking about him but very vaguely by only calling him ‘boyfriend’ with a photo attached of him looking down at his phone while they were out to dinner the other night. She brags about him online but hardly does anything with him when they are together. He’s starting to forget why he’s dating her in the first place.

“She had nothing to say about you posing topless with another woman?” Luke’s guitar playing stops and his eyebrows are raised.

“Nope,” Calum sighs and likes Bianca’s post anyway. Their relationship seems to only be about ‘liking’ each other’s posts lately.

“That’s...odd. So, why’re you looking at this girl Indie’s insta anyway?”

“I like what she posts. It’s real and true and a lot of people relate to it. It’s nice,” Calum shrugs. “And she was cool to hang out with at the photo session.”

“Ah, I see. You’re jealous you aren’t in those photos with her.”

“What? No, I’m not.”

“Yeah you are, and you didn’t want me to see her naked bum.”

“How would Sierra feel about that?”

“She’d look with me,” Luke shrugs, “you know that. See if she tagged the guy and find out who he is. If he has an OnlyFans then there’s a possibility she might have one, too.”

“How does that make sense?” Calum asks but clicks on the tagged name anyway because he’s not thinking properly and his curiosity is getting the best of him.

“They promote new content with whoever they did it with.”

“How the hell do you know that?”

“Saw it on TikTok, and there was that rumor that Ash has an OnlyFans so I Googled about it.”

“That’s a weird thing to Google.”

“Please, you’ve Googled worse. So, who is the bloke?” Luke peers over his best friend’s hand to look at his phone screen.

Calum looks back down at his phone on the new profile. He has quite a massive following and a small bio.

“His name is Ian, he’s a model and an extra in TV shows. There’s a link under his name but he posted photos with her, too.”

Calum taps on the post to see it’s of them in that damn bed again. Indie is straddling him but she has on some sort of lace outfit and Ian’s hands are on her waist. They’re both laughing and facing the camera.

“He wrote ‘always a blast doing sessions with you.’ Does that mean photo sessions or OnlyFans stuff?”

“How am I supposed to know? Why does it concern you anyway?”

That stops Calum short. Why does it concern him? His mind is spiraling with his conflicting emotions and the desire to search for more information about this Ian guy. He tosses his phone on the opposite end of the couch.

“It doesn’t concern me. I was curious and now I know you and Sierra subscribe to OnlyFans.”

“What? I didn’t say that at all!” Luke squeaks then narrows his eyes. “Don’t change the subject. Why does it matter if she has one or not?”

“I want to understand her, she didn’t tell me much about her and I’m not sure why.”

“She probably wants to keep her life private. Does she have a big following for what she posts?”

“Yeah.”

“Then maybe she doesn’t want people knowing her business. You can understand that, can’t you?”

“Of course, I can, I--she intrigues me, that’s all. I want to know more about her.”

“Why do you want to know more about her?”

“I don’t know! She...her purple hair and nose ring and tattoos...and her eyes are so damn blue. I don’t understand it.”

Luke is silent for several moments staring at Calum, his blue eyes imploring his friend to tell more. Luke‘s looking at Calum as if he knows something.

Calum is lost in his confusion. Luke moves from the couch and picks up Calum’s notebook and his favorite type of pen. He holds them out to Calum.

“Write about it. Figure it out.”

☆°•.¸☆¸.•°☆

Calum tried to write about it and figure it out and he was a little ashamed of himself for searching for Indie on OnlyFans a few days later after talking with Luke. It made him feel pervy, and even though he didn’t find her, it wouldn’t have changed his outlook on her at all if she did have an account. It only makes him want to learn more about her and not the small number of half-truths he received.

It’s been a month since he saw her and he’s at a party with Roy and Bianca. Bianca was off with her friends so Calum and Roy were left to their own devices which were perfectly fine for Calum. He’s always up for a good time but only when it’s with his close friends who are more like family, not a hundred people who sneak photos of him when they walk by.

He’s scanning the crowd--people watching is his favorite thing to do--when he spots someone with purple hair walk by.

“Indie! Hey!” Roy literally took the words right from Calum’s mouth.

Roy knows Indie?

Indie turns at the sound of her name waiting for her friend to pass and she smiles upon seeing Roy then shows her teeth in a radiant smile when she sees Calum right next to him. She’s got on some overall shorts with one of the straps unbuttoned and a tight black shirt that stops at her midriff. There’s some glitter on her face and Calum is mystified once more.

“Hey Cal, fancy seeing you here. Hey Roy,” she smiles at him and Roy pulls her into a hug. Calum feels a twinge of jealousy that he didn’t receive a hug.

“You two know each other?” Calum asks, eyebrows raised.

“Yeah, Indie comes to my meditation sessions once in a while. It’s been too long since the last one, missy.”

“I’ve been working!” she giggles shoving his shoulder playfully. “I’m in need of a good meditation zone, though. Oh, this is my friend, Travis.”

“Nice to meet you guys,” Travis shakes Calum and Roy’s hands.

Calum eyes him up but before he can say anything else, Travis mentioned something about finding their group of friends.

“I’ll send you details on the next mediation,” Roy tells her before she heads out.

“I look forward to it. Have a nice time,” she smiles at them both and lets Travis guide her through the crowd.

Calum is a bit upset he didn’t really get to talk to her as he watches her disappear into the sea of people. He continues listening to Roy and his latest idea for a new album and what it will be based around. He hums and comments in the spaces he’s supposed to but his mind is off on someone else.

And then he wonders where the hell Bianca got off to.

“What’s wrong with you, man? Your mind is out of this world right now,” Roy comments.

“Nothing, nothing,” Calum shakes his head gruffly and then Bianca appears handing Calum a drink.

“You look parched,” she kisses his cheek and he feels the sticky residue of her lip gloss on his skin.

Calum continues to search for Indie as the night goes on, wanting to discuss how her body positivity project is going. He smiles and poses in the photos with Bianca; he knows both of their smiles are fake. Whenever she touches him, he doesn’t get that same feeling he did when Indie touched him in the meadow.

It’s a little after midnight as he exits the bathroom and bumps into someone.

“Oops, sorry, my faul--Indie! Hey!” he grins down at her.

“Oh! Hi again. Having a good time?” she asks brightly.

“It’s all right, how about you?”

“Not really in the mood to party tonight,” she shrugs, “but my friend Travis from earlier likes a guy here so I’m his wing woman.”

“What a good friend you are,” he smiles. “Have they met up?”

“I got a text from him with the tongue emoji, the fire emoji, and the drooling emoji,” she counts off on her fingers. “I’ve walked around this place twice so I’m assuming he’s all good,” she chuckles.

“So, you’re here all alone?”

“Yeah. I was just about to order an Uber--”

“I can take you home if you’d like. You shouldn’t take an Uber alone.”

“You don’t have to do that. I don’t mind--”

“Hey baby, some of the girls want to go to the club. I’ll see you later,” Bianca appears and gives Calum a very fleeting kiss on the cheek.

“Okay, before you go, this is Indie; remember how I did that photoshoot a month ago?”

Bianca glances at Indie who gives her a bright smile.

“Hi, it’s nice to meet--”

“Oh, yeah! Where you were both half naked! Very hot. I’ll call you tomorrow,” she says offhandedly to Calum then runs off to her friends.

“Nice to meet you, too!” Indie finishes in a half-shout and Calum laughs. “She’s a woman on a mission, huh?”

“Yeah, always has to be where the party's at. How about that drive home?”

☆°•.¸☆¸.•°☆

Once in his car, Indie connects her phone to his Bluetooth and puts on her playlist along with the address of her apartment. Calum watches her scroll through her phone until she selects the first song; its vibe is very chill, fitting the mood of the blue color of his car’s interior lighting. He keeps glancing over to her; the blue really brings out the purple in her hair. She then pulls her hair back and up behind her head in a makeshift ponytail, fanning herself with the other hand.

“Hot?” he asks while pressing the button for the AC. she lets out a yelp of surprise when the cool air blows on her neck from the headrest of her seat.

“I need my seats to have this feature,” she sighs then lets her hair drop over her shoulder. “Thank you for taking me home. Will you meet up with...oh my God, what’s your girlfriend’s name?” she presses her hands to her face, eyes widening in horror. “She left before you could introduce her.”

“Her name’s Bianca, and no, I’ll probably go home. Club life isn’t really my style.”

“Are you hungry?” she asks.

“For what?” He peers at her curiously.

“Have you ever had insomnia cupcakes?”

When they arrive at the small cupcake shop they read over the flavors listed on the bulbous glass display case. The cupcakes are the size of muffins and each time Indie nudges closer to him, he can smell her perfume. It’s citrus with a hint of something else he can’t place but she smells wonderful.

Indie ends up getting a strawberry cupcake with white frosting and pink sprinkles and Calum gets a confetti one which she teases him about.

“What’s wrong with confetti?!” he laughs following her outside and sits at one of the round metal tables.

“It’s like the second most vanilla flavor you could get. Live on the edge!” she swipes off a bit of frosting and sucks it off with a low satisfied moan.

Her eyes close relishing then taste and Calum gets momentarily distracted by her reaction to the cupcake.

“Well, isn’t that vanilla frosting? Not too on the edge yourself, are ya?”

“It’s not vanilla. Here,” she holds her cupcake in front of him, her eyes testing him. “Try a taste.”

He swipes her frosting off, eyes still on hers and he pops his finger in his mouth. His tongue is full of a very zesty lemon flavor, it’s sugary and sweet but light enough where it’s not too overbearing.

“Shit, that’s good.”

“Told you! Now you enjoy your plain confetti over there,” she wiggles in her chair taking her cupcake back. She swipes up more frosting.

“You eat the frosting first?” he asks, unfolding the paper from his cupcake.

“Mhm, the cake is the best part.”

He watches her in wonder as she continues to eat before taking a very large bite of his own treat. Frosting gets on his nose and she loses it when he wipes it off.

“Did I get it all?” he asks, sucking off the frosting from his thumb.

“You missed a spot...right here!”

Somehow she snuck some frosting on her pinky finger and rubbed it onto his cheek and nose. Calum was dumbfounded then when he saw her practically rolling in her chair from laughing, he joined her and wiped it off on her own.

“Thanks for that,” he laughs, licking off the lemon frosting.

“I’m sorry, I had to,” she shrugs and licks off the rest of her frosting from her cupcake.

“I’m going to get you back for that, Indie. Mark my words.”

“I’m trembling in my overalls,” she mocks with a smile.

“You should be,” he teases and takes another large bite of his cupcake.

When their cupcakes are finished they’re back in his car and her music fills the air with sound. He makes note of the band on his screen, Linus Young, so he can look them up later. He turns it down on the song titled ‘Crystal Ball.’

“How’s your latest project coming along?” he asks then moves into the middle lane.

“Pretty good, I guess. I want to do a couple more shots before I do a post. Sarah said she’d help me with it, we just have to find the time.”

“Do you need a partner?” he grins.

“Not for these shots,” she giggles, “but you’re more than welcome to come if you’d like. I’m always open to other artists' creative eyes.”

“Yeah, I’d love to. Do you have an idea on what your next project will be?”

“Um, I don’t know. It’s always centered on self-love and body positivity. I might try something with body paint or shadows. There’s a--”

“Do you have an OnlyFans?” he blurts out then immediately wants the earth to swallow him up whole.

Where the hell did that come from? He wanted to try and ease into it casually but how do you casually bring up a website like that? And now he just blurted it out like an imbecile. He keeps his eyes on the road anticipating a well-deserved slap across his cheek or for Indie to demand he take the next exit and drop her off.

Instead, she laughs. It’s a full-on cackle with a trail of giggles gasping for breath. Indie doesn’t stop until he looks over at her in alarm and with an apologetic grimace.

“Oh, you’re serious?” she squeaks wiping at the corners of her eyes. She takes a deep breath, still chuckling. “Why do you think that?”

“I was showing my friend Luke the shoot we did and when I went to your Instagram he saw your other photos and asked if I was on OnlyFans and he said creators usually post photos like that with a partner they collaborated with or something and you said your job is social media stuff and that’s social media and I’m--I’m an asshole for blurting it out like that. I’m sorry. It’s none of my business but even if you are, that’s great, y’know? No shame or judgment from me whatsoever. And I feel stupid for even trying to search you--”

“You tried searching for me?” she asks but Calum’s on a ranting rampage. “Wow. I’m fl--”

“This makes me sound like a grade A creep. You--”

“Calum!” she laughs resting her hand on his forearm. The hair on his neck stands up at her touch just like in the meadow. “As entertaining as it is to see you stumble over your words and talk this much, stop. I’m flattered you would even think that in the first place, but no, I don’t have an account.”

He risks a glance at her; she gives him a warm smile.

“Do you have an account?” She asks in a hushed whisper.

“What?!” he swerves a little in his lane but thankfully he needs to change over for the exit. His GPS says Indie’s place is only a few more minutes away. “No, no I don’t have one.”

She giggles again but doesn’t say another word.

They’re silent for the remainder of the drive, the music playing softly in the background. He wishes he never said anything and that Luke didn’t bring it up in the first place. Calum makes the few turns indicated on his screen and then parks in front of a duplex. Indie unbuckles her seatbelt, angling herself towards him.

“Would you subscribe if I did?”

He jerks his head in her direction, did he hear her right? He opens his mouth to answer then narrows his eyes, she does the same and they have a narrow-eyed contest until they’re laughing.

“Would you subscribe if I did?” he counters.

“I asked you first.”

He unbuckles himself as well so he can stretch in his seat and run his fingers through his hair. “I’m not going to answer that. Can we pretend I never asked that and this conversation never happened?” He drops his hands to the steering wheel; he needs to have a firm handle on something because clearly his tongue is acting wild.

“What did you ask?”

“What?”

“What conversation are you talking about?”

Calum stares at her, then looks outside as if there’s a hidden camera and he’s being punk’d right now. Is Ashton Kutcher hiding in that trailer?

“We were talking about OnlyFans.”

“Calum! I was playing along! You didn’t ask me anything and we didn’t have a conversation about that unasked question,” she gives him a perky smile.

“You are something else, you know that?” he rubs at his face out of embarrassment and feeling like such an idiot.

“That’s what I’m told,” she sighs.

He feels there’s a story or two there but he’s already invaded her privacy enough tonight. And it’s only the second time actually meeting her.

“Can I ask you something?” She asks.

“Yes. Please do.”

“Why do you want to know what I do?”

Calum rests his head on his seat, turning his head towards her with his hands still on the wheel. She’s situated herself in her seat so that one leg is pulled to her chest and resting against the center console. Her round cheek is cupped in her hand, her eyes wide and captivating.

“I want to know more about you, that’s all.”

“Why do you want to know about me, Cal?”

That question again. The answer is staring him right in the face, it’s on the tip of his tongue, but he just can’t bring himself to say it out loud. So, he alters his answer because he’s already rambled enough for one night.

“You have this ‘I don’t give a fuck’ attitude and a free spirit. You’re sure of yourself and not a lot of people are like that.”

“I definitely do give a fuck about a lot of things. Maybe too much,” she shrugs, removing her hand and leans forward. “You’re sure that’s all?”

She doesn’t ask it in fishing for compliments type of way, it’s more like she knows he’s hiding something, like she knows he sugar-coated his answer. Indie’s eyes have him captured, he’s like a fly caught in a black widow’s web that’s made up of his own lies.

“Ye-es…” he responds slowly.

“You promise?”

Her eyes are steady on his, he squeezes the wheel, arms tightening, knuckles whitening, and the smallest flick of her eyebrow causes him to let out a large exhale. Calum drops his hands in defeat.

“I don’t know how to answer that,” he shakes his head.

She’s looking at him like Luke was looking at him back in the studio.

“You’re…” he licks his lips and swallows down his nerves. “You’re unlike anyone I’ve ever met, Indie. I’ve never been this lost in my head on finding the proper words to say what I want to say. But I can tell you that my intentions are only to get to know you, which I’m certain of.”

“Get to know me as a friend?”

“Friend, photoshoot partner, whatever it is,” he shrugs. “All I know is I can’t stop thinking about you.”

She gives him a small smile with an even smaller nod then takes a deep breath. Her hands rub at her temples as she lets out a frustrated groan covering her eyes with her hands.

“Are you okay?”

“You know that’s the truest thing you’ve said this whole time, Cal? I’d be glad to be your friend but I can’t lie about how I’ve been thinking about you, too.”

“So... what do we do about that?”

Indie removes her hands, her eyes the size of planets holding the same secrecy of the galaxy. He wants to explore every part, every hidden crevice.

“I want to know you, too. But we have to promise--” she holds out her pinky “--that we are friends first and foremost. I don’t trust people easily; I only tell what I think they should know. But my intuition is telling me to trust you and it’s never wrong. Can you do that?”

Calum mulls over her words. He reaches over the console so their faces are closer. He can see the glitter on her cheeks and how they resemble constellations. He cups her cheek; his fingers locking in her hair and captures her lips in a fevered kiss without a thought of the repercussions that will follow.

The kiss is full of sparks, desire, and an innate need. Indie kisses him back with equal hurriedness and soon they’re scrambling to the backseat. Lips still connected, her fingers claw at his shirt and--

“Cal?”

Calum blinks. He’s pulled back to the present, his fantasy betraying him in the worst possible way from the reality of Indie still holding her pinky out for him.

The kiss was all in his head. Going against his selfish desires, he hooks his pinky with hers and Indie’s face turns serious.

“We promise to always stay friends, no matter what. Promise?”

“I promise.”

“We promise that no matter what comes from the darkness, what secrets will surface, or whatever urges may arise, we are friends first and won’t let those things change that. Promise?”

“I promise,” he nods, tilting his head to the side in amusement as she continues.

“And above all else...we won’t leave or abandon one another. Promise?”

“I promise.”

“Good. I promise, too,” she stares at their joined pinkies.

“You okay?” he asks, feeling the shift within her.

“Yeah...it’s a little...I’m giving you all my trust. It’s a little scary.”

He squeezes her pinky then covers their joined hands with the palm of his other hand. He cocks his head lower until she looks at him with shining, vulnerable eyes.

“I promise I won’t break it, Indie.”

He wonders if she catches the double entendre to his promise because while he said it about her trust, he could tell she’s wearing her heart on her sleeve. He doesn’t want to break that either.

☆°•.¸☆¸.•°☆

Calum has been walking on air ever since that night with Indie a few weeks ago promising to be friends. Is he attracted to her? Absolutely. That at least is something he can admit even if it is in his own head. Will he act on those thoughts? No, because he has respect for Indie and his relationship with Bianca.

Things between him and Bianca have gotten a little better; they go out more and she’s asked him about his music. When he’s mentioned he has this tune stuck in his head that he can’t figure out she doesn’t say too much about it and quickly transitions to her next appearance promoting a new line of liquor.

Calum’s confident he can push his attraction for Indie to the side and make their friendship a priority. He’s never had a female best friend before but it’s an easy transition with her.

After that night they exchanged numbers and were quick to start sending funny memes and TikTok videos. Calum downloaded the app solely because of her and when he discovered she had a few videos of her own, he watched the four videos relentlessly.

“You’re a very talented lip syncer, you should go pro,” he’d told her one day over FaceTime while he was making breakfast.

“There’s no such thing as a pro lip syncer,” she snorted back. She was applying makeup in her bathroom sitting cross legged on the counter with her feet in the sink.

“Yeah there’s that show on MTV or some shit where you dress up and put on a whole performance.”

“I would literally die if I had to perform in front of people. No thank you.”

Calum laughed then watched her apply her eyeliner with careful strokes and perfect precision. Whenever she did her makeup she had her hair pulled back in a loose ponytail and her bangs clipped up so she wouldn’t get makeup on them. Seeing her whole face for the first time filled him with even more intrigue and he thought she was even more beautiful.

“Why do you do that on the sink?” he asked, flipping his egg on his toast.

“So I can get closer to the mirror. It’s a girl thing. Doesn’t Bianca do it?”

“Dunno, I’ve never seen her put her makeup on before.”

He would send her photos and videos of Duke and each time she’d comment on how adorable he is and that she would steal him one day.

“You’ll have to get through me first,” he grinned.

“I can take you. It’s one of my superpowers.”

“What superpower is that exactly?”

“If I tell you then my cover’s blown, duh.”

“Why don’t you show me then?” he teased with a slight hint of flirtation.

“Cal…” she warned but couldn’t help her giggle.

“All right, all right,” he smiled, scratching at his head. “Sorry.”

There would be some innocent slip-ups like that throughout their conversations. Calum just felt so at ease with Indie and when she asked him to help her with a photoshoot of hers he was more than excited to accept.

When he arrived at her place, there was music playing from down the hall and he heard voices followed by Indie’s laugh. He follows the sound right into her bathroom where she is with another girl while the bathtub was running water, bubbles rising.

“Did you finally get your own dog?” he asks and the two girls turn at his voice.

“No, it’s for the photos,” Indie smiles. “Cal, this is Inka, she’s going to be in the photos with me and helping you take them.”

“Nice to finally meet you, Calum,” Inka smiles.

Inka’s a little taller than Indie with flowing ink black hair, wide set eyes and brown skin. She has a septum piercing and is also very good looking.

“Nice to meet you,” he nods, and then turns fearfully to Indie. “I’m taking the photos? Shouldn’t you ask Sarah, she’s a professional.”

“I don’t want them to look professionally done. Inka’s big on water photography so she’ll help you. And we need someone to take photos of us together.”

“All right, so…” he glances at the tub that Inka is now bent over testing the water. “What’s with the bubble bath?”

“That’s where we’ll be,” Indie grins, removing her shorts.

Calum is so caught off guard by being the photographer that his eyes watch her step out of them, but finds she has on swimsuit bottoms. At least he won’t be distracted this time like in the meadow or at Andy and Sarah’s when she was completely naked.

“Are you alright with us being topless, Cal?” Inka asks removing her own shorts. He spots some ink on her skin as well, he wonders if they got tattoos together at one point. The styles are pretty similar.

“I’m fine if you guys are,” he shrugs then eyes up the Polaroid sitting on the counter. “I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable with me here; I respect the artistry of the naked body.”

“All I needed to hear,” Inka says with a sigh. “The water’s perfect, Indsy. I’ll put on music that helps me get in the zone.”

“Is this the camera I’ll be using?” Calum asks, pointing to the Polaroid as Inka changes the music on her phone to something with a bit of soul to it. The voice echoes very softly within the bathroom.

“Yeah, it’s Inka’s. She’ll show you how to use it while I’m in there. Thanks for helping with this, everyone couldn’t or thought it was weird when I asked them.”

“Glad to be of assistance,” he smiles down at her, noticing she doesn’t have makeup on. “You look nice by the way.”

“Thank you. I’m going to take my top off now,” she touches his arm as if in assurance, her eyes widening slightly. “Will you be okay?”

He knows she’s teasing but he links his pinky with hers that’s on his arm.

“Promise. Now get in there,” he jerks his head towards her bath.

“Sheesh, you’re a demanding assistant.”

She backs away and he examines the camera with curiosity. When Inka and Indie converse behind him, he lifts his eyes to their reflection in the mirror just as Indie is pulling her t-shirt off. Her eyes meet his as she tosses it to the floor and it’s as if the moment slows before she’s stepping into the water.

“Inka! This is too hot!” she squeals, pulling her foot out.

“No, it’s not! Calum, come feel the water.”

He turns and stands next to Indie; he bends to the floor pressing his hand through a mountain of bubbles. It’s pretty warm but he’s come to realize that Indie doesn’t like hot things.

“I think it’s fine but it is too hot for her,” he agrees with Indie.

“Well, you’ll get used to it and if your cheeks get a little red or your chest, then it will make the pictures better.”

Indie sighs; she puts her hand on Calum’s shoulder for extra support and puts her foot in the water again. She lets out a hiss and stands there for a couple seconds. Calum grabs her hand and holds her fingers when she places her other foot in the tub as well. He watches her scrunch her face at the temperature, he can see a red splotch blooming on her chest already and she’s not even fully in yet.

“Darling, it’s really not that bad,” Inka sighs rubbing at Indie’s shoulder. “Is it?”

“I just need to let myself get used to it,” Indie replies and drops a knee, her fingers’ holding onto Calum’s tightly.

“I can get a cold washcloth for you,” he offers but Indie shakes her head and drops her other knee.

“I’ll be okay. Can you get me a bottled water from my fridge?”

“Yeah, I’ll be right back,” he nods and he releases her fingers.

When he returns, Indie is fully in the bath, her hair cascading over her back like a dark purple curtain. Her knees are drawn up to her chest and Inka is on the floor with her camera pointed at Indie. Indie’s head is on her knees, her body curving forward, eyes big and her lips pouting slightly.

Calum doesn’t like how she looks sad even if he knows it’s for the aesthetics of it all. Indie looks up at him then stretches a now bubbly arm towards him for the water.

“Wait, stay like that for a minute!” Inka instructs Indie's pose and the camera clicks. “Okay, you can take it.”

Calum sits against the cabinets next to Inka, paying attention to the buttons on the camera before she takes a picture. Indie leans back with her head tilted back and eyes closed, her breasts pointing out. Then she rested her arms on the edge of the tub, her cheek falling perfectly in the crook of her elbows and she eyed up the camera and Inka. When she looked at Calum, he forgot how to swallow.

“Okay, ready for me?” Inka asks, standing up from her place on the floor.

“You’re going to complain about the water though,” Indie rolls her eyes playfully and turns the tap back on. She shifts to the opposite end so she doesn’t feel the hot water.

“Just take photos you think would be good as candid’s,” Inka instructs handing Calum the camera.

He’s nervous now. He doesn’t want to mess up their vision and he runs over what Inka told him in his head as she takes off her tank top and climbs in with Indie.

“This is so tepid!” Inka shrieks and Indie laughs.

“It’s perfect!”

“You’re such a little weirdo,” Inka drops into the water and pushes the running water towards Indie. Indie sticks her tongue out.

While the water continues to run, Calum takes some practice shots and Inka starts to pull her hair up in a very messy bun with loose strands kissing her cheeks and forehead. She looks very good, actually. Inka has a natural beauty to her, much like Indie does. Calum took photos of that process, Inka is confident in herself like Indie is; it’s all in her posture.

“Remember the first time we were in the bath together?” Indie asks, leaning against the wall.

“Yeah, you were drunk and thought your tub was a whirlpool. But you turned the shower on instead and I thought you were drowning,” Inka laughs.

Calum captures their smiles. He remains silent as they place bubbles on each other’s noses or blow them at each other from their hands. He tries to take as many of those as he can because he thinks they’re charming.

He discovers they’ve been friends ever since Indie moved to L.A and have gone through tough things with each other like bad relationships, loss of jobs, and fallouts from a whole group of friends they were involved in. The more they talked, the closer they got in the tub.

“Here, turn around, I want to get some shots like this,” Indie tells Inka.

They’re in a fit of giggles and laughter as Inka maneuvers in the water, some of the bubbles are rolling down the sides of the tub. Once they’re situated, Indie scoots closer until she’s pressed against Inka’s back. Calum’s reminded of feeling her pressed against his back at Andy and Sarah’s.

“Look at Cal,” Indie says and they both turn to Calum.

He snaps the photo.

“How are you doing over there Mr. Camera Man?” Inka asks leaning against Indie.

“Great. How’re you guys?” he asks.

“Hungry. I want some pizza,” Indie sighs. She presses her cheek to Inka’s neck and wraps her arms around her stomach.

“We’ll order some afterwards,” Inka lifts her hand and pats at Indie’s head affectionately. “Does Calum know you need to be fed every few hours?”

“You make me sound like a baby,” Indie laughs. “Does Calum know?” She directs the question to him in third person, looking at him expectantly.

“Yes, I discovered she gets very feisty when she’s hungry,” Calum laughs.

“He’s a good egg,” Indie says and kisses Inka’s neck.

“Wait, do that again,” Calum says and Indie presses her lips to Inka’s neck. He snaps the picture and he grins. “That’s a good one.”

“Stay professional over there, sir,” Inka warns, narrowing her eyes.

“I am! It’s a sweet moment that’s all. You guys are close and have been through a lot. There aren’t too many friendships like that.”

“I always tell her she’s my soulmate,” Inka pats Indie's cheek then spins around again in the water.

“My friend Ash and I say the same thing.”

“You two take baths together, too?” Inka asks and Indie laughs.

“No,” he laughs. “We wouldn’t fit.”

That gets them both laughing and he snaps a picture of it, the pure joy and amusement on their faces. He notices goosebumps are on Indie’s arms.

“You’re getting cold, Indie,” he comments.

“Yeah, we should get out soon. Did you get some good photos?” she asks, sitting up a little straighter, her hands on the edge of the tub.

“Wait, Cal get one more picture,” Inka stops Indie from standing.

He poises the camera to his eye again and watches as Inka leans in and gives Indie a soft kiss on the lips. She holds the kiss so he can take the picture and he keeps snapping when they pull away and smile at each other.

They both rise from the tub with more water sloshing over the sides; all the bubbles are gone now. Calum stands handing them each a towel; he’s trying to wrap his head around that kiss. He kisses his friends too, but to see Indie be kissed by a girl made that pang form in his chest again like when she hugged Roy and not him.

He shouldn’t be jealous; they’re just friends and he pinky promised.

“I’ll order some pizza and upload these so we can look at them,” Inka says, wrapping the towel around her. She folds it over so it’s held to her body like a strapless dress. “Time to put your camera skills to the test.”

The photos ended up looking really well. He could tell the differences between his and Inka’s, hers were angled in different ways to make the focal point look cool. His photos were straighter on but Inka was impressed by some of his close-up shots of their laughter.

The three of them watched a movie as they ate their pizza, laughing at the scenes and more memories that came about for Indie and Inka. Calum really liked Inka and she gave him a hug when she left, promising she’ll contact him if she needs his help for her own photos.

“You have her approval by the way,” Indie says, moving back to the couch pulling her blanket over her legs.

“Approval?” He joins her resting his arm over the back of her couch.

“Of being my guy best friend. This was sort of a test of hers by having you deal with our shenanigans and being half naked in the tub.”

“Elaborate, please?” he chuckles. “Did she think I’d be weird about it?”

“She’s a little protective over me. We’re best friends but…” Indie looks at her hands in her lap; she starts to play with the edge of the blanket.

“But…?” he prompts and she bites her lip. “I feel like this is a pinky promise moment.”

“It is.”

He holds out his pinky waiting for her to link their fingers. She takes in a deep breath and hooks her pinky around his but she doesn’t let it go when she speaks. Her eyes are trained on their pinkies.

“Inka and I dated actually, for a short time. It was right when I moved out here and we got super close super-fast, I felt the most comfortable with her in the friend group I fell into. She’s the first one I voiced my attraction to women about and she said she was the same. We both don’t like labels. And... Yeah, we dated for a couple months but both agreed our friendship was more important than if we broke up badly.”

“So, you’re attracted to men and women or just women?” he asks softly.

“Both,” she says, her eyes still on their pinkies. “Inka’s the only woman I’ve dated and have been with but I’ve had other crushes. They just never went anywhere.”

“Hey, look at me,” he tugs on her pinky lightly until her eyes meet his. “Why do you seem scared?”

“When I tell other guys about it they get all weird and ask for threesomes or they get freaked out like I'm going to cheat on them with her or something. I’m attracted to girls but it’s more than attraction, too.”

“I get it,” he nods, “you don’t have to explain to me. You care for people for who they are. I’m sorry if you felt cautious to tell me. You can tell me anything, Indie.”

“It’s just nerve wracking, that’s all,” she lets out a shaky laugh. “I knew you wouldn’t be creepy with the photos but while we were doing them I figured this would be a good time to tell you.”

“Thank you for telling me, it helps me get to know you better,” he smiles. She gives him one back then pulls her pinky away so she can give him a hug.

He holds her tightly, feeling how fast her heart is beating. They didn't let go until her heart slowed down and matched his.

☆°•.¸☆¸.•°☆

Every day at the studio, Luke would pester Calum asking when they would finally get to meet Indie. Not long after, Ashton and Michael would chime in as well about wanting to meet her and Calum would do his best to ignore them. But he knows his brothers and they’re persistent to the point where it will make you go mad if you don’t agree.

Today was more of a chill day tossing random lyrics and notes around trying to make it into a song. While the other three were goofing off, Calum was at the piano trying to work out the notes that have been swimming in his head for the last couple months. He has the first and last notes down pat but what is in the middle? He can’t figure it out.

“Hey, Cal,” Luke calls, “you should have a party tonight.”

“What for?”

“So, we can all hang out, drink, eat, meet Indie…”

Calum’s hands fall away from the keys and he twists around on the bench to see Luke smiling with all his teeth. He looks like that emoji with his teeth bared.

“Why do you want to meet her so badly?”

“She’s friends with you, we want to be friends with her as well,” Luke shrugs.

“Roy knows her, why can’t we?” Ashton adds.

“Yeah, is she even real at this point?” Michael chortles.

“Yes, she’s real,” Calum rolls his eyes. “How—”

His phone buzzes on the table.

“It’s Indie!” Luke exclaims trying to snatch up the phone.

Calum darts forward grabbing his phone before they can. Thankfully, it was just a text because he knew if he picked up the phone one of them would have found a way to speak with Indie and say something ridiculous.

“Stop acting like we’re twelve,” Calum shakes his head. “Two of you are married.”

“I’m engaged, actually,” Luke corrects, leaning back on the couch. He crosses his converse covered feet at the ankles. “What’d she want?”

Against his better judgment, Calum opens the message to see three photos and a text. They’re all the same photos just taken in different positions. It’s her naked body, from just below her breasts to the tops of her thighs. She’s poised in a way that you can’t see anything and it ranges from black and white, sepia, and the original photo.

‘Which one should I post?’ was the text sent.

“She sent me photos asking for help on which ones to pick for a post,” Calum says already typing away about how she should do all of them. Then he asks how her day’s going. He looks up at his friends and they’re giving him the same look of expectation. “Ugh, fine! If I invite her over you can’t be weird as shit like you are right now.”

They whoop and holler at that news.

“Finally, we get to meet the infamous Indie,” Luke sighs, resting his head on his hands. Calum throws a pillow right at his face.

☆°•.¸☆¸.•°☆

All of Calum’s friends are mingling in the backyard and kitchen area, conversation and laughter is heard over the low sound of the music playing. He’s ordered pizza and wings for everyone to enjoy and they should be delivered in about forty-five minutes. He’s been anxiously waiting for Indie to arrive but is also nervous about how the guys will act around her.

Bianca is out of town so she couldn’t make it and Calum wasn’t too sure what his feelings are about her not being here. She told him to have fun and not get too rowdy, so he appreciates that small sentiment.

Indie was excited to meet everyone else when he called her and when she asked if she could bring a friend, he assumed it was Inka so he of course said yes.

Boy was he ever wrong.

He was popping open another white claw when Andy and Sarah announced her name. He looks up in excitement to see her hugging Sarah but then it falters when he sees it’s not Inka that’s next to her. It’s that guy Ian from her Instagram posts that she posed with. The pang in his chest is back when Ian places his arm over Indie’s bare shoulders and shakes Andy and Sarah’s hand.

Calum takes notice of her outfit; she has on a dark blue top with the sleeves that only go to the tops of her arms and black jean shorts with some black boots. Her dark purple hair is pulled back behind her head in a sort of braid.

“Hey isn’t that—”

“Indie?” Calum finishes Luke’s sentence and takes a long drink of his white claw. “Yeah, let’s go introduce you.”

Ashton and Michael met them by Indie and she gave Calum a big smile.

“Hey! How’re you?” she asks rising on her tiptoes to give him a hug. Ian and Calum’s eyes meet briefly before Indie pulls away.

“I’m good, glad you could come,” Calum forces a smile. “Uh, these are the guys. It’s about time you all met. This is Luke, Ashton, and Michael. Guys, this is Indie.”

“So, you are a real person,” Ashton nods, shaking her hand.

“As opposed to what? A blow-up doll?” Indie teases and Michael chokes on his own drink.

Calum grins because he knows she’ll be able to handle herself around them. He just hopes they don’t say anything about him that would raise questions.

“I like you,” Ashton smiles. “Who’s this you brought along?”

“Oh! Right, sorry. This is Ian,” she introduces.

Calum eyes him up while he shakes his friends’ hands. He’s about the same height as Calum with short brown hair that kind of sticks up in the front. He’s got tan skin, an arm of tattoos, and has a lean muscular build.

“And this is Calum,” Indie introduces him last.

Calum notices she didn’t say ‘my friend’ or ‘my boyfriend’ when introducing Ian, so what is he exactly?

“Good to finally meet you, man,” Ian holds out his hand.

“Likewise,” Calum makes sure his grip is tight, but so is Ian’s. “Help yourselves to drinks from the coolers and kitchen. Pizza and wings should be coming soon.”

The pang in Calum’s chest only grows as the night progresses. He’s not quite sure what to make of Ian except that he and Indie are very comfortable with each other. When Calum is in ear shot they’re always flirting and touching each other.

“Sooo…” Luke drawls sidling next to Calum. “He’s that guy from her Instagram, right?”

“Yup.”

“Are he and Indie dating?”

“No idea,” Calum’s voice is clipped. He takes a drink of his white claw. The pang keeps getting sharper, his fingers are twitching for a cigarette and now he really wants some weed.

“Are you all right?”

Calum watches Ian come up behind Indie with another drink for her and he smacks her ass then proceeds to rub her back. Indie smiles up at him taking the cup.

“Yeah, I’m all right. We’re just friends,” Calum sighs.

When the party dwindled down, it was only Ashton, Michael, Luke, Andy, Sarah,Indie and Ian left sitting around the firepit. The conversation transitions from topic to topic that are mainly centered on Indie and finding out more about her. Just as Calum suspected, she’s very cryptic in her responses and that makes him smile. Calum’s sitting across the way from her and her legs are resting on Ian’s lap. Ian’s hands are rubbing at her calves.

Calum tells himself it doesn’t bother him.

Somehow the conversation turned to sex, which isn’t all that uncommon for their group but Calum was shooting daggers at Ashton because he didn’t want Indie to feel uncomfortable. As always, she surprised him and she was asking her own questions. Everyone answered her question of what their first time was like and they were all great stories of embarrassing moments.

When it came for her to answer, Calum sat up a little straighter in his chair.

“I was nineteen, wasn’t expecting it to happen at all. And you’re always told ‘oh, it’s this magical moment! You’ll be changed forever!’ but it literally lasted two or three minutes and I was like, ‘that’s it?’” she giggles. “I didn’t feel changed at all.”

“Two minutes?” Michael laughs. “Was it his first time too?”

“Hey, in my defense I’ve wanted to do it with her for a long time and when it finally happened…I lost control,” Ian smiles. “That tends to happen with Indie.”

Calum’s ears feel hot and it’s not from the fire. He ignores Luke’s quick glance to him from the bit of information that Ian was the first guy Indie had sex with.

“And we were also in your parent’s living room,” Indie giggles some more.

“All right, so now the next question…most rounds in one night?” Ashton asks lighting up another joint.

Calum wants to strangle him.

“What the hell is with all the sex talk, mate?” he finally asks trying to play it off as nonchalant, but the way Luke and Michael fidget, he knows it didn’t sound that way. No one else seems to notice, if Indie did he doesn’t know because he doesn’t dare look at her now.

“It’s a beautiful thing. It brings people closer by being open about it,” Ashton rests his ankle on his knee.

Calum snorts and shakes his head crossing his arms. He shakes his leg in annoyance.

Everyone says one or two rounds with little stories with each one. Michael made everyone laugh when he said one and a half.

“I was super drunk and it finally caught up with me and…yeah, I fell asleep,” Michael chortles. His eyes are heavy from drinking.

“That poor girl,” Andy says.

“I married her, so you know she’s the one,” Michael smiles.

“Where are Crystal and Sierra? I was looking forward to meeting them, too,” Indie says.

“They’re both at some fashion expo,” Luke explains. “We’ll all get together; they want to meet you too.”

Then fashion is the next topic of conversation until Ashton opens his mouth again. The weed must have set him off in a very inquisitive buzz.

“Indie, you didn’t answer the round's question.”

“I don’t want to be judged,” she holds up her hands in defense.

“This is a judgment free zone, this is a safe space, c’mon,” Ashton smiles lazily.

Indie looks at each person individually, except Calum before she answers.

“Three times,” she sighs, staring into the fire.

There’s a collective ‘woah’ around the group and sounds of approval. She tries to hide her smile but fails and ends up covering her face.

“Damn, that dude’s got stamina,” Michael says.

“It was a fun night,” Ian smirks while taking a drink of his beer. Indie smacks him in the shoulder and that earns even more of a reaction from the group.

They all want to know details and context, but Calum is seething. He really wants to get up and leave because he doesn’t want to hear anymore, but he knows that will cause more questions.

He remains silent for the rest of the night thinking about everything and questioning everything. He wants to know if Indie and Ian are dating and he wants to know why it matters to him so much. It really shouldn’t and that just makes him angrier.

He’s glad his friends are getting along with Indie, but he wishes it weren’t in this type of context.

When everyone had left, Calum was stuffing plates and cups in a large trash bag then he was going to light up a joint in hopes that would help calm his mind and rid his thoughts of seeing Ian and Indie together. He doesn’t even want to think about what they’re doing right now.

☆°•.¸☆¸.•°☆

Taglist: @calumance  @in-superbloom @calpalirwin @karajaynetoday @wiiildflowerrr-blog1 @sunshineeeluke @littledrummeraussie @suchalonelysunflower @hoodhoran @Fobodob @thew0rldneedsmcreycghurt @sunshineeashton @ashtonsunflower​ @mymindwide​ @itjustkindahappenedreally @seanna313 @fivesecondsofonedirection @mulletcal @pandaxnienke @sebsbrokentoe @heartskippeddabat

[capriccio-con-espressione]

plz i have a sudden urge to corrupt jaemin 🤤🤤 ive never really thought about him and i think he’d look so good fucked - 💿

Nah plz I don’t know why but honestly I can’t sense any innocent vibes from Jaemin so sorry I can’t really corrupt him because all I know about him is his high painslut level. I personally think he’d be a great dirty-talker, may be initially doubtful about pegging, but when you’re doing wonders to his body, he would melt into a self-degrading mess and would beg you to use him for good, his questions about it long gone and you can taunt him to no end for that. Down below is my little drabble of this scenario:

  “You sure you wanna do this?” Jaemin’s brows furrow sarcastically. “You sure you can fuck me as good as I do-ah!” His question is cut short by a slap across his bare ass, leaving a smirk of enjoyment on his face as he rubbed the spanked flesh, eyes gazing darkly at your strap.

  “Of course I’d want to do this, and maybe enjoy this a little bit too much…” You condescendingly grinned while slapping his ass once again, earning a rather content yelp from him. “Wait until you getting fucked into a moaning senseless puddle and we’ll see...remember last time you taunted me into whipping you, and you end up thanking me to no end and enjoyed it perhaps a little bit too much?”

  “Hmm really?” Jaemin pouts, in an annoying attempt to feign innocence. “You sure I can take that big girthy thingy?” He licks his lips at your strap.

  “Of course you can, now just lie down and be a good boy and let me help you get ready for it…tell me when I reach your sweet spot.” You motion your boy to lie down, before placing one lubed finger into his lubricated entrance, exploring him with different angles.

  “Ohhhhhh…” Jaemin lets out a whimper at your thrusting finger, processing the still novel feeling to him. “You’re fucking me so deep-ahh right there!” He moans and jerks his whole body at the sudden electric sensation when you aim at the right spot.

  You simper at the new information, as you stretch him open with two fingers, then three fingers, every movement directing at the bull’s eye as Jaemin writhes and wantonly moans in euphoric bliss.

  “Now you like that, huh?” You inquire devilishly as you land a whack on his ass, spiking his senses again, before intruding him with your strap.

  Now Jaemin's body is shuddering violently against your merciless thrusts, hips swaying left and right attempting to maximize the already overwhelming sensation. His lips quirk up to form a gorgeous ecstatic arc, offering a new raunchy side of him that you've never seen before, as the few only things on his mind now are to indulge in the orgasmic bliss as well as look and sound pretty for you, in hopes of being rewarded with even intensified pleasure.

You noticed his lust-filled smile as well as his legs, shifting in all places in search of the correct position to heighten the stimuli since it was his very first time getting fucked like this.

  "Let me help you…" You smirk as you prop his legs up your shoulders as you allow yourself to have deeper access of your fucktoy. "Better hold onto me tight when I fuck you to cloud nine you insatiable slut…"

  Jaemin whimpers at the new feeling on his prostate as he finds himself driven over the edge even more. Normally bottoms will be reduced to an incoherently moaning and cursing mess under intense rapture like this, but as for your originally doubtful boy, his innate ability to sweet talk turns into self-degrading words as he sinks into his subspace even more.

  "Ah...aaahhhhh... Mistress please destroy my slutty tight fuckhole so I can't act up and whore up ever again hmmm pretty please…" Jaemin moans out between your vehement thrusts.

  “Says someone who was doubtful whether pegging is going to feel good or not…” You smirked.

  "S-split me in half with your mighty magical cock please Mistress hnnnn your pathetic little sex doll wants to be wrecked his brains out oohhh…"

  “My personal sex doll huh? Aren’t you the one that dared to challenge my capability to fuck you huh pretty slut?”

  "Hnngh I’m sorry...Mistress please use your cockslut so hard that I forget who I am because I am just a brainless pretty airhead who knows nothing but to be fucked mmmffff…"

  In response to Jaemin's filthy pleads, you speed up, the thought of wishing your cock can turn into a ruthless piston turn you on even more as you unleash all your frustrations on him until he's seeing stars, your title rattling off his tongue shamelessly as he cums blissfully.

After he finally recovers from the immensity, you're already done with clean-up, laying close beside him as you play with his strands. He cutely pouts, up for something to disturb the peace.

  "Mmmm Mistress it's all your fault~I don't think I'll be able to walk properly tomorrow hnngh"

  "Says someone who just literally begged me to destroy him. Still doubting what I can do huh?" You roll your eyes in amusement.

  “No I didn’t mean that…” After that weak defense, Jaemin still complains and whines on and on about how sore he is, but every single word of it underlies praises on how good your stamina is and you have to admit, it boosts your ego so much.

  "...You know, my life will be very incomplete without you…" His expressions suddenly turn serious from all the salacious sex talk before.

  "...Just like my slutty ass will be so empty without your massive dick!" He will be grinning triumphantly, seeing that you have been tricked into thinking he was going to make some sincere wholesome confession. 

  "You are impertinent." You facepalmed, but is secretly very delighted deep down.

  Jaemin giggles at your reaction and snuggle up even closer to you, as you two entangle like an adorable cocoon before relishing the post-passion bliss in your dreams.

  “We should do this often, Mistress.”

[derivativealigner]

Crenny (Craig x Kenny) Blush

Thank you for the prompt! I really needed a break from crenny angst so here’s just a good old-fashioned story where everyone has a good time. I hope you enjoy!

*

What would make Craig Tucker blush?

Kenny had a bad habit of accepting bets without a thought. It was easy money, accepting bets. Do something outrageous, get ten dollars. Who wouldn’t go for it? That could buy groceries! And the reward for causing Craig to be undone was too good to pass up. Thirty dollars for a simple blush.

“That’s kind of unfair,” Stan said after Cartman had laid the bet out. “You should pick someone else so it’s at least doable.”

They were gathered around a table in Kyle’s dorm room, ready to head out to a party. A party where, rumor has it, Craig would sulk in a corner because Clyde had dragged him there and Craig had presumably made a blood pact to always be a wingman.

“Thirty dollars.” Cartman laid three ten-dollar bills on the table, one after the other. “Thirty dollars if you make Craig blush before the party’s over. Come on, Kenny.” He flaunted a bill. “You know you want this. Thirty dollars, Kenny.”

“Stop that.” Kyle snatched the bill and returned it on the table beside the others. “Why are you so obsessed with playing matchmaker? Didn’t you learn anything from the time—”

“I’ll do it,” Kenny said. Obviously. He would’ve done it for five dollars, or for free since it was Craig—not because he had any special feelings for the guy, but just because a blush on that stone-cold face would be a sight to behold. “Throw in twenty more and I’ll blow him under a table.”

“Don’t,” Kyle said when Cartman looked like he just might.

“Yeah,” Stan said. “You can’t play with people’s feelings like that.”

So the bet remained simple: for thirty dollars, make Craig Tucker blush before the end of the night. It was for the best. The added incentive of twenty dollars would’ve had Kenny on his knees, which would force some serious introspection about his sexuality that he’d be happier contemplating outside the realm of a bet. For now, he considered himself a thrill-sexual whose life’s mission was to get a rise out of Craig. For thirty dollars. Only because of the thirty dollars.

And because it’d be a treat to see Craig Tucker reduced to a blushing mess, but really it was for the thirty dollars. The blowjob remained optional.

+

The frat house looked surprisingly nice for a frat house in Boulder, Colorado. A couple drunk girls giggled beside the steps leading to the house, ducked out of view behind a vine-covered lattice. They yelled out giggled greetings as Kenny opened the door to the party, but he was on a mission and no amount of giggling could distract him.

“Where’s Craig?” Cartman asked as soon as the door closed behind them, so Kenny wasn’t the only one invested in this bet.

It would be hard to spot Craig even in a well-lit room full of respectful partygoers, but in a crowd of drunken bastards and flashing lights of too many colors in the otherwise dark room, it was tricky to find a man who didn’t want to be found.

“There.” Stan pointed at a white couch in a moderately secluded area behind a horde of people. “He looks bored.”

“No shit,” Kenny said. Craig had a serious case of RBF, or Resting Bored Face, alongside an even more deadly affliction of being effortlessly handsome. Really it was the perfect combination for the blush of a lifetime; a little pink on those perfectly sculpted cheeks would make anyone’s knees weak.

“Go, Kenny!” Cartman gave a push that only made Kenny stumble. “Thirty dollars, Kenny. Thirty dollars!”

“Shut up. I’m strategizing.”

What could make Tucker blush? He didn’t seem like the type to blush at nudity, so pantsing him was out of the question. Anything quick was unlikely to work against such a calm and restrained person. No, this was an endurance sport. So heavy flirting with a side of groping? Respectfully, of course. No hand on dick allowed.

Yeah, that’d do the trick.

“Okay,” Kenny said. “Keep those dollars ready for me.”

Craig sat on the couch, deliciously detached from the party around him. Surely he wouldn't mind company. Kenny headed through the crowd of people and sidled beside his expressionless target.

“Hi, Craig,” Kenny said with a smile because if someone came up to him with a smile and his name on their lips, he’d already be on the fast track to a red face.

Craig, however, barely turned his head. “Hey.”

Clearly this would not be a straight road to victory. What kind of flirting produced the most blushing, anyway? For Kenny, a compliment would get the job done, so that was his next angle.

“Have I ever told you,” he started with the sultriest voice he could summon, “that you're ridiculously handsome?”

Nothing. No blush or even a vaguely bashful blink. Craig barely even acknowledged Kenny. If the roles had been reversed, at least Kenny would have the common decency to become a blushing mess.

“You haven't,” Craig said.

“Well, you are.” Kenny moved closer. He would get a reaction, no matter what. He nudged Craig’s chin. “Look at me for a second. Just real quick.”

Craig looked. “Why?”

“Because I, uh.” In this closeness, staying focused was not easy. “Just. Your eyes. Nice color.”

“Okay. Thanks.”

“And, and!” Kenny booped Craig's nose. “I've never seen anyone with such a powerful nasal… part. Like the bridge. And it's so well-placed, right in the middle.”

He might have been grasping at straws. He was warm and tense and his heart wouldn’t calm down.

“Did you do shrooms?” Craig asked.

“No. I'm just admiring your gorgeousness.” Kenny shimmied closer, smushing their legs together. “If I were gay, I'd let you do whatever you want to me.”

Craig didn't move away. Not that he had any space to move to, but it still stirred something in Kenny's stomach—knowing Craig could’ve gotten up if he didn't find the advances flattering, and yet he stayed right there.

“If you were gay?” Craig asked.

“Yeah.” Kenny dared a hand on Craig's knee. “I'd lay down and let you do me.”

“That makes you a little gay.”

Kenny faltered. “Yeah, well, everyone's a little gay. I'm just saying you could—”

“No, that makes you a little gay. Unless you're only saying it because that fat fuck who's watching us dared you to do this.”

Kenny glanced over at Cartman, who was not being subtle about his giddy voyeurism.

“No, he just, uh.” An unfortunate warmth spread around Kenny’s cheeks, and the only excuse he could think of would only make it worse. “He knows I have a crush on you. That's why he's watching.”

“Oh,” Craig said. No blush, not even in the face of a love confession.

But the difficulty only made it more of a thrill. This was the time to commit, and commit hard.

Kenny rubbed Craig's knee. “Yeah. I have a huge crush on you. Because you don't take any bullshit and I find it really hot.” It wasn't exactly a lie, and Kenny didn't have time to untangle why it was so easy to say these things to Craig.

“And that's why you're touching me?”

Kenny's hand ventured toward the inner thigh. “Am I being too forward?”

Craig put his hand over Kenny's and leaned closer. “No. Go as far as you want to.”

Kenny could barely breathe with that gorgeous face so close to his. “You’re into this?”

“I am. You're kind of handsome yourself.”

Now Kenny's face was properly burning. “Really?”

“Sure, why not.” Craig moved their hands to Kenny's leg instead, to a danger zone that immediately made Kenny's blood rush. “I could take you out someday. Just us, a couple drinks or a movie.”

A movie and perhaps a blowjob in the parking lot. Knees on gravel, hands in hair, a messy scene of desperate—

Kenny blinked. "Wait, are you fucking with me?”

“Are you fucking with me?” Craig took his hand away and left a need in Kenny's body. “Because that'd be messed up.”

“I'm not,” Kenny said, and somehow it was true. “We can go on a date if you want.”

For only a moment, Craig seemed uncertain. “You’re committed to this act, aren’t you?”

Maybe a bit of making out would leave Craig red in the face. Kenny leaned closer. “What if we kiss? Would you believe me then?”

“Only if you're convincing.”

That sounded like permission. Or another dare.

Some might say Kenny was at the whim of his impulses, and when Kenny found himself climbing into Craig's lap and wrapping his arms around his neck, he started to think it might be true.

“I won't get up,” Kenny said, “until your face is bright red.”

Craig's hands landed on Kenny's ass. “Good luck.”

Kenny's heart hammered as he leaned in and he didn't have the restraint to pretend he could take this at any pace. The second their lips touched, Kenny melted into the kiss and pulled Craig closer by the collar. For years, Craig had been a distant fantasy, a gorgeous face teasing Kenny’s dreams, too good to be true. Kenny started moving his hips, rocking into the kiss, then decided he was still only doing it because of the dare. This was only to make Craig blush. And writhe. And put his cock in Kenny's mouth later.

“Ah, fuck,” Kenny moaned into Craig's lips. “Craig.”

If they hadn't been in the middle of possibly watching eyes, this would've been the moment it got serious. A clothes off, cocks out, messily making out kind of serious.

Craig pushed Kenny only enough to force them to part. “You’re not pretending?”

Kenny was about to dive in again, but—

A blush! The tiniest smudge of pink had spread on Craig's face, which made him look so fuckable that ‘a little gay’ was dangerously close to becoming ‘very fucking gay’.

“I guess not.” Kenny brushed his thumb against the pink cheek and admired his handiwork. “You're gorgeous, Tucker. How was I supposed to resist?”

The blush deepened. “So we're really going on a date?”

A date with Craig Tucker? Holding hands and kissing and just being together until sunrise, lips sore from exploring. Kenny’s heart rate climbed at the mere fantasy.

“Yes, please.” He punctuated his words with a quick kiss, and he stayed close as he whispered, “I need to get you alone.”

“Okay,” Craig said, a bit breathless, and it took all of Kenny's willpower not to spend the rest of the party trying to reduce Craig into a blushing mess.

+

Later, Kenny met Cartman on the outskirts of the party.

“I'm going on a date with Craig Tucker,” Kenny said with a smile that just wouldn’t go away. Then he held out a hand, palm up. “And he blushed, so pay up.”

After he had paid for popcorn with Cartman's money, he kissed Craig in the dark theater. Not because of a bet, not for a dare, not for anything other than the need to feel those lips against his again. And later, in the cozy darkness of Craig’s bedroom, he got the blushing mess he had fantasized about long before the bet.

[robinistrying]

Chapter 10 with the boss but make it spicy :) +18

Okay so i was so frustrated that nothing happened between them in this moment because they’re obviously attracted to each other, i had to let it go out of my head ! Enjoy!!

We share a smile, and I try to hide my distress, but my thoughts are nowhere near this composed. How I’m supposed to act? What do I do? Is there any way out of this? While I’m struggling to reconcile myself to the situation, I’ve found myself in the boss put his hands on my waist. "We can’t... we are in someone’s else home” "I don't think that should matter. Besides... There is something sexy about doing it in a new location" The boss whisperers to me, his breath hot in my ear. I know that Huang is definitely watching us with his cameras. I can’t push him away. Do I even want to? I asked myself quietly. I managed to stick to my policy ever since that day, years ago... "What’s wrong?" Boss asked. "I think I’ll shower first..." "I don’t want to wait for that ... shower with me" All at once, he puts his arms around me. The boss face is so close to mine now, this is a man I have such intense feelings for... Is this the only consolation I’ll be allowed? That at least he is someone I care about? I gradually feel myself giving up. The boss encouraging the feeling in me, moves his hands over my body. I feel like he is able to touch even that lingering hesitation in me. Suddenly, to a mystifying extent, I’m overcome with feelings of love. The boss is incredible, his performance, for one thing and his ability to perceive what others are feeling. I wish he was the man who I have feelings for but with his others personas I’m not sure if I really know him. I wish tonight was the real us. And so i give myself up to the moment. A loving smile forms on the boss’s lips. This is my chosen profession. I have to go through with it. And so I crack a smile. "You know you surprised me today, I had no idea you bore me such a grudge over that dinner date of ours." "What can I say, I’d been looking forward to it for days." "Ah well forgive me, I promise I’ll make up to you soon." The boss continues his tender exploration of my body as he pleads for forgiveness. It feels so good that it slowly undoes my stubbornness... He slips his hands under my clothes and slides over my naked skin, his hands are so warm, so capable... His fingers as perfect as any sculptor could wish for, roam my body. He’s kindling a fire deep inside of me and my heart beats with new purpose. As I let out a moan, the boss sucks in his breath, mingled with my own. So physically I’m getting a little swept up in this, but I won’t let my feelings get swept away too, I hope. I try to lock my heart mentally and throw away the key. Yet I know that the warmth of the boss’s body and his scent, are doing a number on me. “I love the look on your face. It’s so sexy.” Then in a completely natural movement, he leans in and his kiss lands ever so slightly to the side of my lips. For a second I’m bewildered by the boss’s unexpected move, but even then I respond to his kiss. His muscular arms wrap around me, and I look up at him in raptures. "You must be in the rush if you can’t wait for me to take a shower." I said. I pull my face away from his, just an inch, and smile flirtatiously. "I can’t help it. I wanted this all night..." I can’t pretend that his words aren’t affecting me, because, he is amazing, the sound of his voice, the look on his face... it’s like he really wants me. But what was his intention kissing me next to the mouth? I’m still feeling confused when the boss guides me to the bed.

I lie down, and for a moment, he just stares at me with desire plain in his eyes. Then, like he is fully down with waiting, he buries his face in the crook of my neck, sucking on my skin... “Kazuya...” His name spills from my lips in a breathy moan. The boss’s breath is labored too, as he moves his mouth to my chest. The only sounds that can be heard are those of our breath and his lips as they do magical things to my skin. Even so, I continue to move my body in a natural performance of a couple being intimate. I gaze at the boss with amorous eyes as a woman in a passionate love with her husband. And I reach for the boss’s shirt like I can’t contain the rush of what I feel. I undo one button, then the next... then run my hands over the flesh of his broad chest. “God, you’re beautiful...” “You’re the beautiful one, Akari” His broad, muscular chest and strong dependable arms... He’d make any woman a happy wife. I access the fond feeling of a wife, who feels like the luckiest woman in the world. The boss impatiently reaches for my hand: "You forgot a few buttons." I stroke his neck and smile at him. My heart is pounding, his skin, slightly sweaty now, smells like a man. "That’s pretty kinky for you." "Don’t you think it’s sexy to do it with our clothes on? Be honest" "Aren’t you full of surprises? Yes, I like it... and if that’s what turns you on, i am happy to oblige" I was really turned on by his words. I felt slightly embarrassed but if I was going to sleep with the boss, I want to feel it as real as possible. He smiles then lies down next to me and holds his hand out to me. "Come here." No more foreplay, I take his hand and that’s it. We’re really going to do this... He pulls me close, so I am on the top of him. Although you can hear the sound of his buckle, you can’t see anything under my full skirt. “I’m taking yours off too.” He said in a sultry voice. His hands, under my skirt, touch my underwear. And that’s when I realized that I couldn’t hide how affected I was... Oh god. But he doesn’t take them off, he just runs his hands up and down my thighs. What are you doing boss? I thought. "You’re so wet, I can feel it" He said while letting the tips of his fingers tracing the edges of my underwear. “That didn’t take long” He added with a smirk. Bastard. I decided to trust my hips against him. Two can play this game. He was hard as a rock, he could tease but he was still a man after all. He gave me a surprised look, but he didn’t break his character, he was still wearing his flirtatious smile. Then I thought, maybe he planned to fake this, i had my suspicions when he kissed my face instead of my mouth... I’m not 100 percent sure of this plan, but for now, i’ll play along with the boss’s act and say in a coquettish voice.

"I’ve never done it in someone else’s house it’s exciting." "Please, tell me I don’t have to wait a second longer okay?" He puts his hands on my hips and moves me slowly like he is sinking into me. He rocks his hips back and forth. Under my skirt, nothing is going on, well almost. Sometimes I feel his bulge on my core, and I can’t help but bit my lower lip.

I wonder if he is as affected as I am, but he just lets a look of sensual pleasure onto his face, nothing more than we are supposed to do. I feel a bit frustrated but he said:

“Don’t stop.” I focus on that and let my inhibitions melt away as the boss and I, perform the act. I moved my hips like I was riding him, our bodies clashed one against the other, sending butterflies in my belly, I don’t know if he planned this but I felt his right hand on my ass, and the other one was locked on my hips as he was urging me.

I let my head fall back and look up at the ceiling as I arch my back further, still the sensation as I’m really making love to the boss, slowly but surely becomes very real. I mean it could count at least as dry humping like we were some horny teenagers.

With this particular confusion comes another feeling that I can’t deny, the proximity of his body and the feeling of his desire makes my heart races uncontrollably. "Does that feel good?" he asked. As our breath grows labored, I feel somehow closer to him... “Y...yeah” I said, feeling vulnerable. Suddenly he stops and claps me against his chest. We trade positions and the boss slides himself on the top of me. His lips won’t stop leaving my chest, and with this angle, I feel the head of his shaft hitting my clit, I prayed that our act would come soon to an end because I felt the orgasm building inside of me.

I felt like I was about to combust, I let my head fall back against the pillow, eyes shut, trying to hide how I was really feeling, even though it was pointless because I felt my drenched panties betraying me. I felt his lips leaving my chest and making their way to my neck and I heard him whispering: "Next time, we’re doing this my way... I need to make you mine, you don’t know how hard it is... I just want to push your panties aside and claim you..."He said in a raspy voice. His control is being swept away, and I smiled because at least I wasn’t the only one feeling this way. I let out a moan. "I know you like when I talk to you dirty like this, I know you want to come, you don’t have to pretend... I know it already. Look at me and say it, say that you want me to make you come and I will.” "Make me come then" I said out of breath in a challenging voice. “Ask nicely.” He said in a hard tone than I never heard before. I blushed, but my desire was stronger than my pride. "Please make me come..." and then I turned my head next to his ear so only he could hear: "Boss" No more pretending, I played my part. He attacked my neck vigorously with his tongue and teeth, he was definitely enjoying this, I had the impression that he was this kind of man, I guess I was right. He let out a chuckle and said: "Remember you asked for this." He swept his hand under our connected pelvises and touched my clit, his fingers exerted a light pressure on it and he started doing little circles with it. "I can’t wait for the day I’ll get to finally be inside you, I feel it how ready you are for me..." I gasped, I was so close, I felt my hips bucking on their own as I enjoyed the pleasure he was giving me, he grabbed my chin with his free hand and kissed me passionately, a sensual, passionate, kiss. Our skins were on fire. I couldn’t control myself no more as I moaned into our kiss.

Then I felt all the muscles in my body tense up, and the volcano who was slowly building inside of me exploded, I let out a loud cry as I was gasping for air. I felt the boss tense up as well and stopped bucking his hips slowly like he came too, but I know it wasn’t the case, he didn’t forgot that we were being watched.

When the sensations of my orgasm where slowly leaving me, I started to feel anxious, I stepped out of character and couldn’t control myself, it was so unprofessional of me, I was mortified. The boss as he sensed my fears took my face in his hands and said: "Stop. You were perfect, I couldn’t ask for a better wife, now let’s go to sleep." I hesitated. Is this really okay? Is he feeling what I am feeling? I don’t want this to be just a fling, but I was afraid that it was already too late. And then I felt a kiss on my forehead. His strong arms were around me holding me tight. Sleepiness was taking over me, I felt so warm, loved almost. I wanted to know what it meant for him. Boss please don’t let me down. I trust you... As he hugged me tighter to his chest, I heard a whisper but I was already falling asleep so I couldn’t hear: “I hope one day you’ll be able to forgive me”

[mxndoscyarika]

Red Sunsets (Javier Peña x Chinese!Reader) | Chapter 11: La Mañana Dorada

Author’s note: We’ve made it, everyone! This is the last “official” chapter of the story 🥺 Up next will be the epilogue, which is the moment that inspired this entire series! Thank you to everyone who’s been so supportive of this story and embraced this Chinese reader insert ❤️ Happy New Year!

Summary: Family fights, grudges, and determination. Those three things defined your journey as you navigated through the workings of the DEA. Getting in was hard, and catching Escobar was even harder. You joined Javier Peña and Steve Murphy in the hunt for Escobar, forming bonds and life lessons along the way.

Like my writing? Here’s my masterlist.

Red Sunsets masterlist

Warning(s): smut (first third or so, it’s over by the time breakfast rolls by!), food/drink (breakfast lol), restrictive family mention

You woke to sunlight slipping between the blinds, gold streaking across the nest of blankets and pillows that you and Javi built the night before.

It was late by the time you had arrived back at the apartment complex, and you weren’t ready to leave Javi’s arms just yet. You weren’t sure if you ever would be. Not truly. So, naturally, you both wandered into his apartment for the night.

“Good morning,” Javi murmured, pressing his lips to your shoulder.

You smiled and nestled yourself closer to him. “Good morning.” A soft laugh left your lips as you felt him pressing against you. “Is that what I think it is?”

“Maybe.” He nuzzled your neck, his facial hair tickling your skin. Warmth bloomed in your belly as you imagined how he would feel between your thighs. “I can’t help it, sweetheart. I love waking up with you.”

You reached back to sift your fingers through his brown locks. “Shall we take care of that?”

He hummed softly, his hand sliding up your belly to trace circles around your nipple. At your airy moan, he said, “I want to feel you, baby. I want…” His other hand slid under your parties and tapped your swollen clit. “I want to feel you cum around me. Want to take care of you, baby.”

“Please,” you begged, arching into his hands. “I want to see if you can make me cum like this.”

He chuckled softly. “Oh, I know I can. And you must know too...you’re soaked, honey. Is this for me?”

You gasped as his fingers dipped into your folds, the wet sounds heard even through layers of blankets. They filled you deliciously, better than yours ever could, but you wanted more. You wanted something thicker, harder, and longer.

“Please,” you begged again, clenching around his fingers when he pinched your nipple. “I need you inside me.”

“Shhh,” he hushed. “I’ve got you, baby.”

The angle took your breath away. No matter how many times you’d taken him, he always stretched you until you could feel every vein and throb. The tip of his cock was seated right by your g-spot, and every clench around him nearly sent you over the edge.

“So sensitive,” he murmured between kisses. His hands circled your nipples as if they were your clit, rubbing and squeezing them until you felt sparks in your lower belly. Seated inside you, he could feel that you were close. He smiled against your skin as you whimpered and keened against him. “Come on, baby. You can do it.”

You came at the sound of his voice, your body testing up and squeezing around him. The feeling of his cock throbbing and rubbing against your g-spot only prolonged your pleasure.

“That’s it, baby,” he said, slipping a hand down to your clit. He chuckled darkly as you bucked your hips into his hand for more. “Cum for me again, sweetheart. Give me all you’ve got.”

“Fuck!” White ecstasy blinded you as you came again, gushing around his cock and soaking his fingers. Your body vibrated from pleasure as he just kept going.

“That’s it, baby,” he groaned, pushing deeper inside you. The usually smooth thrusts of his hips stuttered as your walls fluttered around him. “Let it all out. Milk my cock.”

“Please,  Javi,” you whimpered, holding his hand in place so he couldn’t leave your clit. “I want you to fill me. Please.”

With a growl, he pulled you against his chest and buried himself to the hilt, thick ropes of his cum painting your walls. He tucked his face against your neck as he let his orgasm wash over his body, his hips bucking slightly in the aftershocks.

You couldn’t help but smile as you felt his warmth fill you up, and lifted your hand to bury your fingers in his hair. “You did so well, honey.”

A huff of laughter. “Did you enjoy yourself?”

Humming softly, you snuggled closer to him. “With you? Always.” You smirked. “Though we do like to make a mess, don’t we? We should probably get cleaned up and change the sheets.”

Cleaning up was a quick affair, a nearly normal routine that you’d fallen into since your relationship became official. While you washed up in the bathroom, Javi stripped the sheets off the bed and put them aside to wash. Then, you’d switch and put on fresh sheets while he got ready for the day. More often than not, you finished before he did, which always led you back to the bathroom. Back to him.

“I could get used to this view,” you mused, watching as Javi scrambled some eggs in a pan with chopsticks. Though he wasn’t much of a cook, it made you proud to see that he was expanding his collection of utensils. “You should cook more often, baby.”

“Unless you want to eat eggs on toast for the rest of your life, I’m not so sure you want that,” he teased, bringing over plates piled with glistening eggs and buttered toast.

“Well, I’m sure you could learn how to cook a couple more things,” you laughed. For someone that loved food and exploring local restaurants, it was a wonder that he couldn’t cook. Though you couldn’t blame him; work didn’t always leave much time for cooking. “Like...scrambled egg and tomato with rice It’s just as easy as this.”

“I’ll learn just for you,” he said, turning off the stove and bringing over the plates of toast and eggs. “But until then, I hope these will do.” You two ate quietly, basking in the morning haze. The eggs were fluffy and seasoned with dashes of soy sauce, and the toast was crisp but buttery.

Javi said your name softly.

You looked up from your plate, meeting his dark brown eyes. “Yeah?”

He gulped, then said, “When this is over, when we can go home, I want you to come with me to Laredo. You can meet my papá. We can also go see your family. You always tell me about your grandma, I’d love to meet her.”

You huffed out a laugh, “Are you sure? Do you think you’re ready for that?”

It would’ve been a lie if you didn’t feel a pang of anxiety. Your family wasn’t exactly the most accepting of families, to put it lightly. Hell, you had to fight tooth and nail to get to this point in your career. You knew that. Javi knew that. Those closest to you knew that every moment of self-expression was an act of defiance against your family.

Part of you didn’t want Javi to go through that; to put him through the wringer when all he wanted was to be with you. But at the same time, you couldn’t just ignore your family, just like he couldn’t ignore his.

He reached across the table to hold your hand. “Of course, hermosa. They’re your family.” A small smirk crept onto his face. “And even if they don’t like me...I’m not giving you up that easily.”

The weight lifted off your shoulders. “Then it’s settled; we’ll go home together.”

---

A few months later...

Your last visit to Medellín’s La Candelaria neighborhood didn’t feel like your last. Just like the months before, the narrow streets were packed with Chinese locals speaking in a mix of Spanish and Cantonese. The elderly couple’s herbal shop still stood proudly at the block across from a music school, and the Chinese restaurant with homemade potstickers and empanadas was still tucked away behind a red door with a sign that said “Abierto!”

You squinted against the glare of the sun on the street as you slid out of the car, grimacing as the thick air enveloped you. Sliding sunglasses onto your face, you turned to Javi, who was rounding the front of the car. “Shall we pay our friends a visit?”

The elderly couple at the herbal shop sprung up from their chairs behind the counter and greeted you warmly, taking your hands into theirs and showering you with compliments on how much happier you looked. You couldn’t help but dip your head sheepishly, trying to keep your cheeks from burning. Yes, you were happy. Yes, you and Javi were happy. But there was something you had to tell them.

Gently, you explained to them that you would be leaving the following week to move back to the States. Part of your heart broke as their smiles faded. They knew you moved to Colombia for work, as did Javi, but you hadn’t expected for your time to be up so soon. You weren't ready to let go of the memories you’d created in the country. The past months felt like a century weighed down with work, but as you stood with the love of your life telling your dear friends that you were leaving for good, watching their unbridled joy dimmed just slightly, it felt like only a day.

Your family had kept mostly to themselves in the States, never truly making friends or settling into a community. But you’d promised to yourself that you’d break that cycle. You had promised, and you had delivered. But no one had told you the consequences of delivering on such a promise.

“¿Y vas a regresar a los Estados Unidos con ella?” the old man asked, pointing a finger towards Javi.

He nodded, the lone dimple on his left cheek showing as he smiled shyly. “Pues, debemos visitar a mi papá también, ¿no?” He wrapped his arms around your waist in a hug, just snug enough to make the couple coo. “Va a matarme si no conoce al amor de mi vida.”

That part was still hard for you to believe as well. You were planning to land in Laredo to meet Chuco, then travel back to your hometown so your parents could meet him. You remembered the way your parents had shunned your past boyfriends, finding every reason under the sky to hate them. Looking back, maybe they were right. But for once, you had let yourself find happiness without their approval. What if, even then, they didn’t accept him?

Laughs filled the small shop as the old couple reminisced about your and Javi’s first visit, and how you had started out as nothing more than acquaintances far away from home. And, of course, how you two worked together to bring home a little closer.

Your eyes glistened with laughter as the old lady lectured Javi about the Chinese family customs. His wide eyes told you enough about his experience in bowing and serving your parents tea. Perhaps you’d tell him more about it during the flight.

You wished you could spend hours with the couple, gossiping and digging up memories like aunties having yum cha. In your time living in the area, they had gone to the local dim sum house for exactly that, chatting over steaming baskets of dumplings and flagging down waitresses from across the restaurant. But it was the weekend, and you were not the only patrons that needed attention.

Familiar glass jars lined the aisles like memories as you took one last stroll through the store. In the place where it all began.

Translations:

“¿Y vas a regresar a los Estados Unidos con ella?” You’re going back to the United States with her?

“Pues, debemos visitar a mi papá también, ¿no? Va a matarme si no conoce al amor de mi vida.” Well, we should also visit my father, right? He’ll kill me if he doesn’t meet the love of my life.

Tagging:

Permanent taglist: @cinewhore @randomness501 @theghostwiththemost-babe @ahopelessromanticwritersworld @miraclemoreno @halfwaythereroyal @fioccodineveautunnale @talesfromtheguild @tortles @ladamari68 @theokatcov @snivellusim @starryluce @inked-poet @browneyes-djarin @shedobewritingalittle @chews-erotically @thefandomimagines @emesispo @bitchin-beskar @phoenixhalliwell @nerdypinupcrystal @dishonouringmycow

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[themockingcrows]

Doki Doki Grist Panic Ch. 4

Another chapter of my Magical Boy fic, sorry for such a long wait while I got my brain in order!

Ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27802735/chapters/79562023

This chapter is sfw!

Soft, repetitive beeps were the first things Dave heard when he woke. The whirring of machinery, of a barely there fan spinning in a metal case. He’d know the sounds of technology anywhere, used to the hum and breath of his own computer tower in his room. Nothing was overheating, the room was a comfortable temperature, just warm enough to feel cozy where his skin touched itself at the crooks of his elbows and the backs of his legs. He was aware he was lying on his side, but it was so hard to wake up. Opening his eyes felt far too difficult, let alone moving his limbs. Dave settled for a fingertip stroking at what felt like a blanket or sheet beneath his body and sighed a breath exhaustedly.

It wasn’t fully dark in the room. He must have left his lamp on at the desk and taken a nap, or the door was open somewhat to let in light from the hallway and living room. He didn’t hear anything from the front room, Bro must be napping as well or doing something with his headphones on at his computer. Maybe dinner was cooking, or he was waiting for something to be delivered, indulging in his free time doing this or that. It was a comfortable silence. Dave blinked a few slow times before taking in the strange blue tone to the room’s light, cooler than his usual warm home light. Bulb change? Slowly he rubbed at his face and slid to his back, wanting to stare at the ceiling so he could come back to himself more and wake up properly.

This wasn’t his ceiling.

Instead of the textured white ceiling he was used to seeing for so many years, the ceiling was metallic and matte in color. The walls were matte as well, though at least they were white as his own were. Fat load of good it did him, considering the walls didn’t look familiar in the slightest either. Where WAS this place? This wasn’t his room, it wasn’t the living room for sure. Was it a friend’s house? A hospital?

Dave sat upright and lifted his hands to his throat, his face, a sudden feeling of breathlessness hitting him as he panicked. Breathless… It all came flooding back to him in a rush, mind swimming. The attack, the lack of air, choking, suffocating. But it still didn’t answer the question of where he was, nor what was happening. When he went to rock to his knees, Dave paused, feeling a tug of fabric at his waist and chest. That… didn’t make sense, his uniform wouldn’t do that, nor would his casual clothes. Instead of wearing either outfits, he was draped in a soft white material that was tied at the waist with a woven red cord, though he couldn’t guess what type of fabric it was. It was too soft to be linen, too sturdy to be cotton, and didn’t match anything he’d ever felt. Were it not such a mystery he’d probably even go to say it was quite comfortable.

… Where were his boxers?

Who had undressed him? Even the lack of transformation would be something of importance, he’d go back to his civilian clothes, not… whatever this was. When he finally managed to stand, the room span and he sank back down to sit for a moment on the edge of the bed with a grimace, taking it all in as his mind raced in circles like a penned dog. Dave realized that it wasn’t just the garment that was covering him either, but what looked and felt like strings of pearls and golden beads. They were settled around his neck as if wrapped specifically to make a draping effect over his chest and shoulders here and there, and clasped together at the ends behind his neck with what felt like a filigree hook. Someone had taken great care to dress him like this, but why? Who?

Panic rising in his throat like bitter bile, Dave stood slower this time and headed for the cracked doorway, surprised to find the room unguarded. Cameras? Or was there some other way he was being watched? Paranoia ate at him, but when he poked his head out into the blue toned hallway, he heard nothing but the same soft hum of machinery, felt the cool air blowing from unseen vents. Barefooted, he padded along down this hallway to the left of his room, prepared for any threat. ...Or. Well, as prepared as one could be while unarmed. Dave knew how to defend himself while unarmed well enough, but the desire to have a sword was strong. Maybe he should change before exploring further, get his powerup back and-

“You’re awake. I was wondering how long you were going to be unconscious for. So long as your brain waves were healthy and strong I wasn’t worried, at least. It’s fascinating how fragile humans are once you remove their air.”

Dave froze in place. He knew that voice, but the things it was saying weren’t making sense to his brain. John wouldn’t talk like that, but that was the first person that came to mind upon hearing that specific tone and cadence, the way it handled words as if they were fluid on one's tongue instead of just a thought. Swallowing and taking a deeper breath, he rolled his shoulders back and strode to the full end of the hallway and the room it opened into.

The space was massive. The hums were definitely computers, projecting screens and physical and digital keyboards everywhere, holograms and different moving charts and images dancing in the air. Each wall seemed to have some kind of a space background, stars and a moon, a view of the Earth like a peaceful screensaver. In the center of it all stood a figure with glowing eyes and gray skin, unfamiliar clothing and decoration adorning him, a serene look on his face. He looked calm, in control, but there was no hostility to be seen.

“You can come closer. I’m not interested in fighting you,” he said.

Dave frowned and strode closer, observing the different screens as he went, unable to read any of the angular text he saw. When he was a more reasonable distance from him, he finally talked.

“So you’re the one that brought me here.” It was John. Closer, he could see the shape of his eyes, his mouth, the way his hair sat on his head, his broad shoulders. The appearance had changed, but the core was definitely the same. His stomach churned sickly. He’d kissed this person. He’d been held by this person. He’d contemplated doing more with this person, and it was all a lie.

“You seem surprised and yet not surprised enough,” he said with a hint of a smile. It looked a little forced, stiff at the edges of his mouth as if the gesture were foreign to him. “Might I ask who you were expecting?”

“...Nobody specific,” Dave admitted, trying to keep his cool. “Where is here though? I assume you can at least tell me that.”

John lifted his foot and stomped downwards, forcing the ground to shimmer for a moment before it turned pitched black and then seemed to dissolve. The space pattern from the walls blended to the rest of the floor, leaving them seemingly free floating in space despite walking on solid ground.

“I’d thought it would be fairly obvious, but I suppose even someone like you might have been confused at first. Does this clarify things, then?”

Space. Dave knew Bro had gone before, he’d talked about it in the past, but never did he think he’d get to see it himself. Much less in a situation like this one. His fingers curled into the sides of the new draping clothing he wore, steeling himself as he stared directly down towards nothingness. If Earth was on the wall’s side, then they must be at an angle without even being able to feel it. Whatever technology was doing this was astounding.

A gray hand was suddenly touching his cheek, cold and lifeless feeling, and Dave jerked his head up and took a step backwards to put some distance between them again. The look in his eyes could peel paint, aggressively defiant as he’d been during battle, though this time with the added benefit of betrayal as well. This person had lied to him, led him on, played with his emotions. Made a fool of him. He was a moron. Of course he couldn’t have nice things like romance, they weren’t possible for someone with his kind of career. This just hammered that idea home even harder than before in a way that made tears sting in his eyes and threaten to show themselves.

He kept them down out of sheer spite.

“You hate me so much already,” John mused. “Not even a moment's hesitation before pulling back.”

“You’re not John.”

“Yes, I am.”

“You’re not my John.”

“We are one in the same, Dave. Open your eyes to reality,” John said with a flourish of his arms, displaying himself in his entirety as if he hadn’t been seen properly before. “It doesn’t have to be so bad. Think of the possibilities you’re being afforded.”

“Possibilities? Don’t make me laugh,” he nearly spat. “My John might as well be dead now. I don’t care if you’re the same person, the John I gave a shit about wouldn’t be my enemy. I fell in love with a lie, but it was a wonderful lie, don’t even pretend to act like you’re remotely the same thing.”

John sighed a little and rolled his head on his neck to stretch it before rubbing a few strands of hair behind his ear. “You’re really in denial, aren’t you. I’m the same John. I have the same feelings for you, those weren’t a lie. The only lie is that I’m not human. I’ve no intention of hurting you.”

“You fucking suffocated me!” Dave reminded him with a hiss.

“It was the quickest way to end the battle and sequester you away,” John shrugged. “Would you rather I have beaten you senseless with my hammer? It could be arranged now, if you’d prefer. But I’d dislike crushing your pretty face.”

Dave scowled and clenched his fists tight enough that he felt his nails cutting into his palms. “What do you want with me. Hurry this up, I’ve got places to be.”

“You talk as if you’re getting out of here easily,” John mused. “But since you’re here, I’ll go ahead and extend my offer formally.”

“Offer?”

“Yes,” John said, taking a step closer in an attempt to close the gap, though it renewed itself almost immediately when Dave backstepped again to keep distance between them. Frustrating, but fine, he’d deal with it. “I’d like for you to come back with me to my planet.”

“...Why.”

“Why? Because I like you, Dave. I enjoy your company. You are… special to me. I would enjoy keeping you by my side.”

“Cute words, but you still kidnapped my ass and dressed me up like some toy. You’re not exactly still on the boyfriend pedestal,” Dave pointed out. “Why not just find someone on your planet?”

“There’s nobody left for me there,” he said simply, flatly. “It’s why when I’m done here, I’d prefer to keep you with me. I’ve got the technology to make sure you adjust to our atmosphere once it’s restored, an-”

“Restored?”

John reached a practiced hand out to tap at a keyboard, bringing up a specific hologram of a ruined looking planet. Smaller screens lit up around it showing devastation, pollution, destruction both natural and man made. There was a distinct lack of life. “Restored. All it’ll take is enough grist, and my world can be restored to its former beauty. It’s not the same as Earth, there’s a lot different about it. But it’s beautiful in its own way, when it’s healthy and alive.”

“Why is it your job to fix your planet? If you’re the only one left, why not just live here? We have problems, yeah, but there’s plenty of roo-” Dave started, only to be interrupted.

“Because I’m it’s guardian,” John said simply. “I have a chance to save and restore it, to restore everything to how it was but better. I can fix things. I have that power, and I intend to use it. I just need grist from Earth, and my home will come back.”

“How much grist do you need…?” he asked, already having a sense before getting confirmation.

“All of it, preferably. I could work with less, but if I’m here already why not just drain the damned place and be done with it.”

Dave finally took a step forward aggressively.

“So that’s the entire plan? Destroy Earth, gain grist, revive a dead planet?”

“And have you at my side for the duration. You’d love my world, Dave. You’d be loved there. You wouldn’t have to risk your neck all the time as a guardian nobody is grateful to, either,” John explained, grin widening in an almost manic way. “Once I’m the one to restore things, everyone will realize they have a guardian with that power. That I’ll exist to them as more than a vague concept of right and wrong, that I’m a real person, and that I gave them their life back. It will be beautiful.”

The aggressive stance slackened somewhat as Dave shifted his weight back towards his heel.

“You’re crazy.”

“Am I? Or are you just not looking at the big picture clearly,” John said, pulling out his hammer from thin air with a shimmer. He was a guardian. They were the same, and yet, so obviously different in every way. John tossed the weapon easily in one hand, unbothered by its weight in the slightest, then pointed it at Dave before gesturing to the rest of the room. “I’m offering you a place by my side, an entire world. This is an easy choice, Dave. We were getting so close…”

“If I knew this side of you, I’d never have even called you a friend,” Dave said, trying not to flinch when the hammer swung down sharp enough it made stinging air snap against his face. “I’m a guardian of Earth, John. You know I’d never accept this kind of offer. I can’t let you do as you please. I’m offering you a hand again to join Earth, but that’s as far as this goes.”

“Fuck the Earth!” John shouted, eyes blazing. “It's time as the crown jewel of the milky way is over, Dave, open your eyes! Look at the writing on the wall! War, famine, pollution, greed. Your planet is going down the same path my planet did at first. It’s on its way out now. It’s dimming. Yet, it still has a chance to be useful. It can restart my planet, it can become a utopia, like it always had the potential to! A second chance!”

“And why the fuck should I let you kill my planet to restart yours? What makes all our lives inferior?” demanded Dave, jaw tense. This guy was crazy. Absolutely fucking crazy.

“It’s nothing personal, Dave. It’s just business. We can always work together to find another planet to restart yours the same way, another world chock full of grist for the taking. We could work together, even. Keep both our planets safe. It’d be great, it-”

“Isn’t going to ever happen.”

“Dave.”

“I’m not going to let you lay your fucking hands on anything of mine ever again. The Earth is off limits to your grist mining.”

“Dave, listen to me.”

“The offer to remain as a friend of the planet is on the table still, but from the sound of things you’re expecting more. It’s not going to happen. I’m not going anywhere with you.”

“Dave,” John said again, sounding pained. The grip on his hammer tightened with every word, face desperate and tense.

“Not now, not ever. This planet is my responsibility.”

“Dave, listen!” John shouted.

“I DON’T HAVE TO LISTEN TO A FUCKING THING YOU SAY WHEN YOU’RE TALKING SO NONCHALANTLY ABOUT KILLING ALL MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY!” Dave shouted right back, raising his fists into a fighting stance defensively, prepared for what might be coming from their outbursts.

John lifted his hammer high, eyes flaring like electricity. A dark breeze rushed through the room, jerking Dave’s clothes left and right, whipping his hair wildly. He prepared for breathlessness, he prepared for the hammer. For what may come.

“WHY CAN’T YOU JUST DO AS I SAY?” John yelled, slamming the hammer Dave’s direction. It was a mistake. An accident, he’d try to tell himself. He would never hurt Dave, he’d promised himself he wouldn’t, yet him talking back like this, him refusing him, him refusing him the chance of fixing his world… it was just too much to handle, and he’d done the first thing that came to mind with the darkness.

The hammer struck true, but not on Dave, much to John’s anger and relief. Instead, it was struck and currently straining against a sword that he hadn’t seen before. It was white as marble, with a strange, almost conical looking crossguard. Solid as anything, with a hum of vibrant energy as Dave held John’s strike at bay. Gone were the white clothes, the beads, the pearls, in its place the familiar uniform and white hair John had seen so many times. The flashy red, the gears ticking in the air as he stared with piercing red eyes directly into John’s. No sign of yielding.

He hated that look.

He loved that look.

They strained against each other for a moment before Dave made a move, gears spinning wildly behind him as he slowed things down and surged forwards, sliding the hammer along the edge of the sword till he could flip the balance and send it away from him. Quickly, he angled his body and struck a blow across John’s middle, though it was far from a kill strike. Even now, Dave hesitated to kill some of his enemies, something that he knew would come back to bite him in the future in one way or another. He hoped that, possibly, there would be some way to save John from himself. To clear his heart, his mind. Somehow.

Maybe he could ask Bro, call a favor in from Dirk. Anything. There had to be a way.

As time sped back up, however, Dave knew he was out of time, metaphorically. Instead of attacking again, or preparing to intercept a second hammer strike, he instead clenched his hand over his heart and focused as hard as he could on home. He could picture it in his mind, the futon with Bro’s legs dangling over the end, the television, the wires crisscrossing the floor, food on the counter, smuppets and swords everywhere. The moon from the rooftop, the faint hint of stars in the light polluted sky, the heat of midday sun on the treated surface, waves in the air bouncing off the metallic surfaces of the industrial air conditioners. He could feel it so intensely he could have drawn it with his eyes closed.

Chest warm, Dave heard his heart ticking in his chest, the steady beat of the clock that he worked with. It ticked louder, louder, harder till it was all he could feel, all he could hear… and he was gone. John struck the empty space Dave had been standing in mere seconds after he flashed and disappeared from view. Growling in rage, dark wind wildly thrashing, he threw his head back and yelled wordlessly to the digital sea of stars above him.

This wasn’t over.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Dave’s roof was exactly how he’d been imagining it. Comforting, welcoming, and entirely his own. Though relieved at his sudden arrival back on Earth, he couldn’t help but stare up at the sky to try and figure out which bright spot was a star and which might be John’s ship just beyond the atmosphere. He gripped his hand tight against his chest again, before finally glancing down towards his sword. This definitely was new, but what happened? Did he get gifted an upgrade, or had he unlocked it somehow on his own in a fit of panic? He gave it a twist swing, slicing the air cleanly with a vwip noise a few times before the door to the roof clanged open.

“Jesus fuck, kid, you’re gonna give me a heart attack. Where’ve you been? It’s like you disappeared!” Bro said, hurrying forward as Dave slowed his strikes to a halt. “I came soon as I felt it, but seriously, what gives?”

“Felt it? Felt what?” he asked, confused.

“The ping,” Bro said. At Dave’s continued look of confusion, he set a hand over his heart with a smirk. “I might not be a guardian anymore, but I’m sure as shit still tapped into the system somewhat, and just from bein’ who I am to you I’d feel it I’m sure. Felt when you disappeared… felt when you came back. Dirk no doubt felt it too, even if only a bit. Everyone must’ve felt somethin’, no matter how small, that changed.”

“Somethin’ sure as shit did change, did you see this thing?” Dave asked, hefting the sword up one handed to display to Bro lengthwise, offering it to him to hold and examine in the moonlight, white and all but glowing in its deadly way. “I don’t know what happened, one minute I was goin’ for my sword, the next this cropped out instead.”

“Nice. Solid as shit, too,” Bro judged by the weight. “This is a hell of an upgrade kid. ...I hope it didn’t cost you too much. You know how they are about their workers supplies.”

There was always a price. Be it in time, or be it in blood.

“I hope so too. I’ve got no idea, though. I didn’t hear Hephaestus at all, or see him or anything, just. New sword,” he explained as he took the weapon back, changing out of his uniform and into-

“What’s with the getup?” Bro asked, cocking his head to the side.

“Fucking-! Ugh. God damn creep changed my clothes while I was out cold. H- … Wait. Motherfucker, my phone!” he shouted, looking up towards the sky angrily. His phone was gone, his clothes, his everything was gone and it wasn’t like he could just ask for it back.

“There’s worse ways to lose a phone, kid. We’ll get you a new one,” Bro said with a shrug. “Come inside, already, before you get sucked back to space or wherever the fuck you were at. I’ll make Hot Pockets or somethin’ to celebrate.”

Dave smirked. “I survive a near death experience and you offer me Hot Pockets. My first time off-planet, and it’s Hot Pockets.”

“These are the garlic bread kind, and I’m willin’ to share.”

“...You drive a hard bargain.”

Bro clapped a hand on Dave’s shoulder. “We’ll try puzzlin’ out your powerup and talk while you eat. You can even change out of your weird drapey dress if you want.”

Dave shot another look at the sky as if daring John to react while he stood there more vulnerable, while he was with his guardian, but nothing came. He’d need to finish this. Maybe the Hot Pocket talk could include more strategy than anything else, a second head with more experience fighting off-planet threats to help him think of different options.

“Yeah. I’d like that.”

As they started walking, Bro chuckled. “If you wanna call your boyfriend I’ll lend you my phone for a bit if you ask real nice.”

Dave’s stomach churned as they headed through the door, mouth suddenly full of bitter spit. “No thanks. That’s. ...I’ll tell you while I eat.”

[charincharge]

could you write something about cardan maybe tricking jude into leaving her queenly duties just so he could spend time with her alone? if it's really fluffy i would adore that

Cardan’s No Good, Very Bad Idea

could you write something about cardan maybe tricking jude into leaving her queenly duties just so he could spend time with her alone? if it's really fluffy i would adore that

Jude taps a long nail across the long mahogany table in front of her. She looks over the lengthy agenda for today’s meeting. The scroll seems to be never ending, and Jude has a feeling she will be trapped here until the wee hours of the night, especially if they wait any longer to begin. She’s been worked to the bone, recently. And Jude is exhausted. She doesn’t know if she has the stamina for this tonight.

Randalin sighs, staring at the double doors on the opposite side of the room, as if willing them to open. But, they remain shut, its gold filigree swirling across the front to create a perfect replica of the Greenbriar crest, unbroken.

“I suppose we should begin,” Randalin says, addressing the rest of the Living Council, though the seat next to Jude remains conspicuously unoccupied.

“I suppose…”

Jude has sat through many of these councils by herself. Since her coronation, the High King has been scarce during political meetings. He’d much rather be drinking in the basement, learning how to be a shadow, or sparring with his cantankerous wife. The latter usually happens immediately after the Living Council wraps.

Today, Jude is impatient and weary. She woke early to an empty bed and a note from Cardan that he was going on “an adventure” and would return for Council. A faerie loophole, Jude laughs to herself. Apparently he can lie in writing.

Just as Randalin is about to begin his lengthy agenda, the doors swing open, the crest splitting apart in two. The loud crack makes the room jump, almost as much as the appearance of The Bomb, looking distraught and disheveled. Her white hair falls into her panicked eyes haphazardly, her wings tittering, agitated, behind her.

Jude stands immediately.

“Her Majesty.” The Bomb pants, out of breath, and Jude can scarcely breathe as she continues. “You must come at once. It’s the King.”

Jude is out the door before the end of the sentence is complete. The Bomb takes Jude’s hand in hers as they rush through the halls.

“Where is he?” Jude asks. “What happened?”

“We couldn’t move him.” The Bomb slows and looks at Jude, the weight of her words evident in her serious eyes. “He asked for you.”

Jude’s throat tightens as she nods and picks up the pace.

The Bomb leads Jude out of the palace, out the back towards the stables where her horse is already saddled and ready to go.

“He’s on the western shore of Insmire Lake,” The Bomb explains.

Jude hoists herself onto the horse and looks down, confused and upset. “You’re not coming?”

The Bomb shakes her head. “We’ve already said our goodbyes. You two need your privacy.”

Jude nods and digs her heels into the horse, spurring him forward, as fast as she can. She races across the palace grounds, needing to go faster and faster. Lush green plants angle themselves as she passes by, the wind curling itself around them, leading the way to where her king lies. If only she could see them in the dark. The stars seem to grow brighter at her desire to see clearer, clouds parting to reveal a dark yellow moon.

She spots him, sprawled on his side, exactly where The Bomb said he’d be. He is completely still and silent, and Jude doesn’t even bother tying the horse up as she dismounts and rushes to his side.

“Cardan,” she pleads. “Cardan.” Tears well in the corners of her eyes as she strokes his shoulder. “Cardan, please,” she chokes back a sob.

Cardan stretches his arms above his head and a sly smirk curls his lips upward as he flutters his dark eyes open. “I really thought you’d be here faster with the threat of your husband in mortal danger.” He pushes himself up on his elbows and finally takes a look at his wife. “Am I truly so meaningless to you, my Queen?”

Jude’s brown eyes darken as she examines him. She realizes he’s in perfectly fine form, and shoves him back down onto the ground, pinning his hips with her straddled thighs and her hand dangerously clasped around his throat. Her glare is like two piercing daggers, and he can’t stop the rumble of laughter that starts in his chest.

“Are you serious?!” she gasps. “I swear, Cardan Greenbriar, if you ever do anything like that again, I will murder you my gods damned self,” she hisses. “I thought…” She swipes at the stray tear that’s betrayed her and rolled down her cheek. “I thought…” She repeats herself, and Cardan’s devilish eyes turn worried.

He places his hand atop hers, stroking her fingers so they release their grasp on his neck, and twines with his fingers instead. He places their joined hands above his head, and she leans over him, her heart still racing with the remnants of panic.

“Please forgive me, my darling,” he coos, his voice holding none of the mirth from mere seconds before. “I’d seen the council agenda and thought I was saving you. I know you’ve been exhausted. I just wanted to treat you. I didn’t think…”

He sits up, still keeping Jude in his lap, cradling her soundly against him. She presses her ear against his chest, letting the thrum of his heart center her. He’s alive and well. Just an idiot.

“I planned us a picnic.”

It’s only then that Jude realizes they’re spread on a large and soft blanket. A host of fireflies hover around the tree they’re perched under, acting as their own personal twinkle lights, which reveal an elaborate feast. Toast with soft cheese and honey. Real mortal strawberries dipped in dark chocolate. Smoked meats and assorted nuts. And wine. So much wine.

“I thought you could use a night off,” he whispers into her ear as he rubs her back, and finally her heartbeat starts to slow.

She looks up at him, her pink lips pursed in contemplation. “I hate you.”

He grins, knowing she’s already forgiven him for his clumsy way of extracting her from her queenly duties. “Shall I feed you? You must be famished.”

Jude frowns. “I’m not a child, Cardan. I can feed myself.”

But Cardan ignores her and lifts a strawberry to her lips. They part slightly as she nibbles away the tip of chocolate and then takes a bite of the ripe juicy fruit.

“Mmm,” she hums as she chews. It’s been so long since she’s had a strawberry. Cardan swipes the berry back and forth across her lips, staining them red.  

He tilts her head up and licks the sweetness from her lips. She opens to him, and lets his tongue explore her mouth, curling around hers softly, until she’s putty in his hands. Their tongues move against each other in languid strokes as Cardan’s hand moves into Jude’s hair, softly caressing the back of her neck with his thumb.

As Jude pulls away to gasp for air, Cardan plops the rest of the strawberry in his own mouth, and then can’t resist leaning down and kissing Jude once, twice more.

They take turns feeding each other and taking sips of wine from the same cup, until they’re both sated. Only then does Jude stretch out on the blanket, curling into Cardan’s side. She kisses the top of his chest, which is exposed in his unlaced shirt.

“Okay, maybe I did need this,” she admits, and Cardan beams at her. A night, just the two of them, with no pressure and no one to accidentally interrupt and no pressing matters to attend to… it’s pretty much perfection.

“A husband always knows,” he chuckles, running his finger down her arm. She shivers under his touch, goosebumps raising like little pin pricks under his hand.

“Are you cold?” he asks, worried, and Jude shakes her head. She looks around the darkened lake.

“Are we really alone?” she asks, and Cardan’s smile curls into something far more salacious as he grasps her waist and pulls him astride his lap.

“Take whatever you want, my dearest.” His hands rest under his head, goading her into action. And so she does. Over and over, well into the night. And when they head back to the castle, locked like intertwining puzzle pieces galloping and racing against the rising sun, Cardan reminds himself to plan this again for next month. Only maybe he’ll tell her before time.

~*~*~*~*~

tags: 

@hizqueen4life @wordsafterhours @cursebreaker29@x3hopeless-dreamer @sarahjmaasslave @thewickedkings @aesthetics-11 @thewayshedreamed@studyforthestars99 @feed-the-madness01 @brit-alltoowell @gabs-2002 @m-like-magic @sophiekarim @the-third-me @babycardan @justfangirling @isardinesinacanblog @youknowpurple @snusbandxknifewife @youknowpurple @cosmosstarstudio @wannawriteyouabook @aneurwin @bookieworm @bamchickawowow @taco-taco-belle 

[peachbearies]

omg ion know if ur taking. Requests rn but I was wondering just a cute lil imagine bout zion in which the reader and him are dating and it's they're one yr aniversary or sum idk lol but just zion being a cutie and telling how much he loves her and shiii (because we all know that his ass acts all big and bad but he is a 6'4 teddy bear irl) yaa ik that was supper cringey but shehej yee okay byee (ur an amazing writer btw I've read all ur work and may I saY I stan 💖)

Promise: Z.kuwonu

Requested

›› Synopsis: it’s your first anniversary with Zion, around this trademark period it makes you apprehensive but Zion reminds you how much

›› Genre: Fluff

›› Paring: Female Reader x Zion Kuwonu

›› Warnings: Slightly hinted nsfw, lots of cursing (I mean it Zion so…), a little glimpse of toxic behavior.

›› A/N: what?! This is not cringe at all baby! I admire cheesy romantic headcanons/ imagines like this. My likes and drafts are filled with fluffs or angst to fluff🤧. I’m sorry this is a tad bit delinquent And thank you for reading my work that means a lot I’ve been exploring a lot of vocabulary words to scrutinize my writing, this may be a long one I apologize I got too into it.

The marvels of what a year could do. From going through a hurricane of songster roaring at each other, the strikes of austere comments leading up to the thunderstorm of a anguish. Your ex-fiancé cheated on, with considerable women before you found out. The ring on your finger was nothing but a reflector and leverage for him, he wanted to appear a saint to the kingdom, but a devil in the moonlight. Apologizing and buttering you up like a slice of bread, didn’t make you dawdle.

Your lucidity and rectitude were more caliber than staying, so you moved out of your shared apartment a week later, during the rotation of moving haphazardly you’ve incoherent yourself from the boys' realm, nor have your inner circle heard of you. You dissipated from the earth. And if you had to be adequate, you relished it that way, what was anyone overlooking anyways? but you were silently asking for space, you would give your leg for it.

Zion stirring in disgruntle, pushing profanities in between his gritted teeth. Don’t get mistaken he wasn’t mad you were ignoring him, just by the way your handling things on your own, he knew it had to be really fucked up if you couldn’t come to him. The veins crawling up his proffered hands outstretched for the keys. The boys jumping up in fear he may do something reckless, Brandon putting his hand in front of the boys to halt them. “Listen—even if we stop him, say anything to him or follow him, he will remotely do exactly what you think he’s going to do, you know how much he cares about (y/n), all we can do is have faith in him” Brandon confirms, but deep inside that rickety heart of his fear was kicking his ass too. They all discern Zion, once the peak of anger overflows his eyes only opines vermilion.

Zion parked in the lot, not noticing your car ghosting its rightful place. His mind was set on figuring what was wrong with you. Climbing the flight of stairs, he knocks on your door, his foot tapping the pallid base. When the door swung open it was ex-fiance, their eyes met in pique just burning to throw punches and a few sparks of curse words. “What do you want?” Your ex tempts him.

For your sake, Zion never snapped in front of him the way he should’ve. “Not you that’s for sure” commenting on his current attire, which was shirtless and some sweatpants. “Where’s (y/n)?” He queries, a scruffy ‘tsk’ pass through his lips. “Not here, that bitch moved out after she broke up with me”

Zion looked at his watch the time read 9:35 pm. “Cool, all I need is nine minutes of your time” Zion tranquility explains to him. Swinging and docking him in the throat; the girl that was staying with him bolting into the living room finding the source of the thump. She screams for Zion to get off him, after give or take six punches, Zion walks away not giving him or her the slightest sight. “If I catch you or her around y/n, better make sure you have good health care insurance and dental”

The next day he waited outside your classroom leaning his foot up against the wall; few girls noticed him but that wasn’t on his mind. When your silhouette appeared, he excused himself in a rush to catch you. “Pretty rich seeing a smile from a ghost” your heart dropped; the voice you were scared to dump your problems on.

What lie could you conjure? “Hey Zion” you breathe, turning in his direction. “That’s my fault I’m sorry, dealing with classes and moving I lost track of time” which was half correct, but it wasn’t the biggest factor. Zion tilted his head, signature hand in hoodie pocket. Closing your eyes with a heavy sigh, you knew he didn’t believe you nor did he want to push you. “Zion—“ he groped your wrist pulling you to the parking lot, he leaned on his car's hood without saying a drop of words, he wants for you to stream all your worries.

“Well, that’s half the reason. Okay, I didn't mean to go completely ghost, life just wasn't easy for me lately, I didn't want to add more dead weight to your shoulder. Sorry” zion scoffs pushing himself away from the car with no hands. But they followed the path to your jawline. ”burden on my shoulder or not, they're made for you to cry on. Stop going through things on your own alright?, as long as I'm here you don't have to sink”

Ever since you and zion grew close, a year later and he still gazes at you like a diamond. Even after a year, the astonishment gets the better of you. The insecurities start raging in, fighting in a war of love and hate. Your phone was laid upon the cherry wooden table, the vibrations frightening you, the goosebumps crawling up your arms. The name it read was “Love🤍”

“Hello?” You answer still shaken up; Zion lets out a soft scoff that vibrates through your body “you’re still in bed mamas? you should be awake beautiful” rubbing your eyes slightly, the clock flashed the numbers ‘ 2:30 pm’ your groan only makes him smile bigger.

“Goddamn I love you, look how ravishing you are in the morning” Zion's eyes shimmering in adoration. Those eyes always reflected his emotions, deep down you knew Zion loved you wholeheartedly, but the fear of having something good taken from you. That is what kept you hesitant. “No, I don’t stop lying” you stroke his ego.

“Me? Lie? Babygirl, I can’t and won’t lie to you stop playing” Zion said in a low octave, your stomach stirred in feelings “do me a favor baby” “Which is?” You reply, Zion looks over on his nightstand smiling. “Why are you smiling? Are you being mischievous again?”

“Who me? Nah” Zion shrugs off. The ringing of the doorbell distracted you from his spreading grin “answer that” sighing you walk towards the door, propping your phone on the counter, Zion moans out loud. “Maybe I should’ve slept over last night! Who told you to look that good mamas?” Ignoring his flirty antics you open the door, glimpsing at fresh bouquets of your favorite flower and a self-care basket. “Baby!!!” You screech, Zion simpers at the brightest smile on your face. The sun doesn’t shine as bright as you did at the moment.

“Why?, why are you so loving to me” you start to happy cry “Nah baby none of that, I love you too damn much for you to self-deprecate” Zion shuts your negativity down. Flipping the card over you read the message. ‘You thought I’d forget the day you changed my life? I’ve always loved you and I’ll continue to love you, but it’s not your love that I adore the most, it’s those gorgeous eyes that look back at me. Like I’m some type of angel when we all know that’s you, it’s the way you’re compassionate about others, I love your free spirit baby you’re a dove to me, even though I get under your nerves, I wouldn’t want anyone else to deal with me or my problems happy one year’

You look up at Zion, his eyes were already glossing by admiring your figure. Oh, how you wish jumping through a screen wasn’t just a cartoon thing. “Fuck” you whisper covering your face “angel, you are beautiful” Zion reminds you “stop!!! I’m in my feelings!!” You Jokingly spat at him. “What you wanna do for our anniversary it’s up to you” Zion smiles.

“Can we go to a petting zoo then get tacos?” Your eyes sparkling as your lips turn into a pout, Zion looking up towards the ceiling as his Adam’s apple points at the camera. “Yes, how could I say no” twenty minutes later Zion was at your house, complimenting you the whole car ride. Protectively and passionately rubbing circles on your knees being careful not to raise his hand any further.

“Look! Rabbits” Zion follows your finger pulling you in that direction, you sit on the bench holding the rabbit in your lap feeding it the food. Zion takes pictures of you getting the best angles, falling in love with your beauty, even more, the way the golden light bounced off your skin. It made him think twice if you were real or just a lucid dream. Feeding the monkeys were the best part, they hugged you and Zion; even gave you two kisses. The giraffes were the most exciting to you, joking to your boyfriend “wow look something taller than you”. Walking into a blue-lit aquarium a class of fish surrounded the both of you. Your finger softly touching the fish that was pressed against the glass, it followed your every move. Never realizing Zion detached his hand from yours, it hasn’t hit you until a ring was slid on your finger.

“Not an engagement ring, but soon don’t worry this is a promise ring, and I promise that you’ll feel nothing but comfort and love with me” his fingers gripped into your waist “with a side of pleasure too” you smack his shoulder while smiling ear for ear. “You promise?” “Of course I do, I wholeheartedly promise, I will never hurt or disrespect you baby, you mean too much to me”

Once you were back to the apartment your body couldn’t even make it to the bed, but Zion helped you to the bathroom. To wash off the dirt and sweat, even helped you with your skin routine. His fingers padding over every inch of your back, your soft snores in the crook of his neck. “I’m so glad to be the girlfriend of your dreams” you whisper “oh lord she’s finally figured it out!!” Zion pushes your buttons “should I send you back home?” You test him, “you wouldn’t dare, you need me tonight” Zion teases his swollen lips attacking your neck upwards your jawline, a low gruffly growl trickles down your spine.

“So is this the side of pleasure?” You press your teeth into your lower lip “if that’s what you want”

“Well, you did make a promise” wasting no time Zion straddles you, your legs wrapped around his waist, giggling at how he fumbled to remove his shirt.

“You damn right I made a promise, and I’ll show you how serious this promise is” Zion kisses up your stomach “I love you”

Your hands cupping his jaw the breathing becoming erratic “I love you too”

[shemakesmusic-uk]

HARD FEELINGS, the new collaborative project of Hot Chip's Joe Goddard and Amy Douglas, have signed to Domino and unveiled their debut outing 'Holding On Too Long' which is teamed with a Katie Paul-directed video. Douglas says of their debut single, "'Holding On Too Long' is the common denominator of the entire musical union of Amy and Joe. In this "opera of sad bangers" here is its key aria, its "Un Bel Di" from Madame Butterfly or the "Mad Scene" from Lucia Di Lammermour, the unforgettable moment of the story wherein our heroine stands up defiantly and has her moment to wail, scream and cry her pain and fury centre stage to the world." HARD FEELINGS was formed after Goddard reached out to Douglas on Twitter after hearing her work, and simply asking: "Amy, can we make a thing?" [via Line Of Best Fit]

After recently announcing her debut album Flaw Flower is due June 25 via Illegal Data, London-based musician Harriet Zoe Pittard, aka Zoee, is sharing another slice of her multi-faceted art-pop sounds with her new single'Host'. Speaking about the track, Zoee said "‘Host’ describes the disconcertingly replicant-like nature of a once starry-eyed lover who becomes increasingly detached. The video is inspired by The Twilight Zone and was shot on location in a forest close to where I grew up in Berkshire."

Nashville-based songwriter Madi Diaz releases 'Nervous,' a new single about recognizing unhealthy coping mechanisms. The song’s frank lyrics are bellied by infectious guitar and Diaz’s buoyant voice: “I know why I lie to myself // I’m not really looking to get healthy // I have so many perspectives I’m losing perspective I make me nervous.” The accompanying video was shot in Nashville and directed by Jordan Bellamy. It was inspired by and includes an homage to the final scene of Andrei Tarkovsky's film The Stalker, a film that has always resonated with Diaz through its otherworldly nature, as well as its thoughtful and often anxiety inducing pace. “You know when you hold a mirror up to a mirror and you get an infinite amount of reflections from every angle? That’s what ‘Nervous’ is about,” says Diaz. “It’s when you’re in a loop of looking at yourself from every vantage point until you’re caught up in your own tangled web of bullshit. It’s about catching yourself acting out your crazy and you’re finally self-aware enough to see it, but you’re still out of your body enough and curious enough to watch yourself do it.”

Buzzy duo XVOTO have announced that their eagerly-awaited debut EP will be arriving on June 4 on One Two Many. Sharing new single ‘Friends’ alongside the news, Jazz Alonso explains that the track is rooted in “the people who have irreversibly changed you and then having to pretend you’re unphased by them when you’re in the same room. Meanwhile you’re trying to work out what your new boundaries are: can you talk about the past? Can you cry together? Can you show how much pain you’re in around them? ‘If you fish me, I’ll play dead’ means: if you make a move, I’ll pretend I’m dead inside and don’t want you back.” Accompanied by a new vid, Jazz adds, “For this video I always imagined an aquarium because of the fish lyrics and because I think looking at fish in a tank is a really nice symbol of looking back at a relationship: you’ll always have your take on it and feel you have control over that narrative cause it’s a memory, but the reality is that truth is fluid and moves. You’re not looking at an image, you’re looking at something that’s alive. Then the scenes of us getting tattooed on our backs are symbols for something beautiful that scars you - you might move on from something but it’ll still inform the way you move forward. In the video there’s some cheating, some reminiscing, some beauty and some pain.” [via DIY]

Ashe has released new cut 'Me Without You' as the latest singe off her debut album Ashlyn. It comes teamed with a Jason Lester-directed video. Ashe says of the new single, "'Me Without You' is my follow up to 'Moral Of The Story'. It's saying you thought that I needed you to be who I am. There is my past relationship...I had multiple people... You know, assumed that I needed them in my life to feel confident or to be me and "Me Without You" is just this record that's like, ‘Ooh, I am so good on my own'." [via Line Of Best Fit]

Mia Nicolai is a true internationalist. Born in Amsterdam to a Russian mother, she learned from a young age to move between languages and cultures, accepting them as equal. This all fuels her future-pop vision, a trans-genre approach laden with colour, one that picks from multiple sources. New single 'People Pleaser' is a surging, coherent, ultra-potent offering, a song that dwells on identity, and the processes by which it is defined. "This song is about the journey towards finding yourself," she explains. "It can be very difficult to be true to your inner values when all you do is please the people around you instead of your inner needs. I’ve always come across as a strong-minded person. But in reality, I’m capable of helping everyone BUT myself. At some point I felt so uncomfortable in my own skin that I couldn’t even breathe properly..." We're able to share the dazzling new video, directed by Isabelle Griffioen and produced by That’s What She Set. A surreal but completely engaging experience, it embodies everything Mia Nicolai sets out to do - put people on the back foot, and alert them to her presence. [via Clash]

Singer-songwriter Gracie Abrams has shared her poignant new single 'Mess It Up' and its accompanying video via Interscope Records. Directed by Matty Peacock, the video for 'Mess It Up' finds Abrams attempting to bake a cake and repeatedly dropping the gorgeously frosted final product on the ground. That bittersweet back-and-forth between determination and disappointment is a perfect match for Abrams’s incisive lyrics, which simultaneously convey a deep longing for forgiveness and an unshakable sense of frustration. Produced by and co-written with her frequent collaborator Blake Slatkin, the track’s stark guitar work and driving rhythms slowly take on a powerful momentum, ultimately building to a sweetly triumphant climax. [via Vacancy]

Vocalist and guitarist Maya Delilah shares the visuals for her new single 'Need A Word With Cupid'. The track unravels into a punchy number that gives you a hit of both dopamine and female empowerment. Written about realising your worth after a relationship breakup, Maya’s lyrics are little witty statements that we can all use to remind ourselves who the hell we are. “Last Tuesday morning I just realised you’re shit” – it’s the truth. The video sees her waiting in cupid’s reception ready to get her money back because, damn, this boy was not worth her energy. At. All. 'Need A Word With Cupid' is a brilliant narrative that’s not only relatable but also incredibly good. Brimming with smooth guitar tones and a catchy beat, this is a single that leaves you wanting so much more. A self-love anthem for the modern woman, 'Need A Word With Cupid' is an indie-pop bop. Maya says: “'Need A Word With Cupid' was written after my breakup when I felt a sudden hit of empowerment after the realisation that my ex was not worth another tear over. It’s an energetic and uplifting song with soul influences and of course a guitar solo to end.“ [via LOCK]

With her debut EP Digital Meadow arriving on May 28, Dora Jar is sharing the video for her single ‘Multiply’. “I am my truest form when I am changing shape, morphing sounds, and shifting my point of view,” she says of the forthcoming EP. “This project is an exploration of my impulse to shape-shift. That’s my ambition.” [via DIY]

Telenova's new-arriving single 'Tranquilize' makes it two-from-two for the band, deeper solidifying their rich blend of sounds while showing how it can move into further areas, taking on new energies - or emphasising other energies - as more songs come to light. 'Tranquillize', for example, has a heavier weighting on that live instrumentation, giving the song this more alt-pop-meets-R&B spin when combined with Angeline's brilliant-as-ever vocals. As she explains, the single was the first for Telenova, written on the day they began working with one another. "I was actually flicking through a thesaurus and the word ‘Tranquilize’ jumped out at me, it just rang so nicely on the tongue and was so inherently visceral," she says. "I was humming gibberish over the hypnotic Rhodes chords that Josh had laid down, and we heard what sounded like ‘Poseidon’s on the water’ - it was the first time in a writing session with Ed and Josh, and the first time I’d been in a writing session where a poetic, literary lyric idea like that wasn’t shunned and coined as ‘unrelatable’.  It resonated. We followed the thread, playing into Siren mythology as a metaphor for falling in love - the power of attraction to transfix and tranquillize you." The single also arrives with an official video clip, directed by Angeline - solidifying her multi-talented craft. "I wanted to capture the world of the song in a Lynchian-inspired dreamscape - starry-eyed and a little unhinged - but like, David Lynch meets Gucci," she says. [via Pilerats]

International superstar P!nk has more than two decades of experience topping the global pop charts, and she is here to continue her reign with the new single 'All I Know So Far'. 'All I Know So Far' was produced by pop mastermind Greg Kurstin and co-written with the songwriting duo Benj Pasek & Justin Paul. The single comes off of her upcoming album All I Know So Far: Setlist, due out on RCA Records on May 21. The accompanying video for 'All I Know So Far' tells Pink’s life story with help from Cher, Judith Light, and Carey Hart. The visuals, directed by longtime collaborator Dave Meyers, also features an appearance from her daughter Willow. The new album will feature live recordings from her 2019 'Beautiful Trauma World Tour' along with a recording of her highly-buzzed MTV Video Vanguard Award acceptance speech. P!nk’s daughter Willow will also make an appearance on the album with the song 'Cover Me in Sunshine', which the singer previously shared back in February. [via Consequence]

[roominthecastle]

Since you listened to Mofftiss talk about EP 3, did you get why they didn’t want to show the Agatha / Dracula connection until the end? I read your post about it, but it was still a bit unclear as to why. Because they even said something along the lines of “it was hard pressed to keep that hidden until the end”, did they talk about it with the other episodes. Did you listen to the others? Just drama-vise I’m curious as to why, when it’s more common to play with that energy instead of hide it.

I’ve listened to the three episode companion podcasts + the bonus audio commentary for ep 3, and, as far as I can remember, they only touch on this particular topic twice, saying:

It felt very moving when he was lying across “Zagatha” on the table, drinking her blood. There was a sort of full-stop-ness to “You didn’t think I’d let it hurt, did you?” It was such an iron process of  not revealing that that story is happening. I think everyone who watches  goes, “Hang on. Those two. Those two, there is something weird there.”  But it’s not acknowledged, really, til the very end. And indeed when he  says it, “After all this time, did you think I’d let it hurt?”, you  know. Of course he wouldn’t. So it’s rather sweet. I like it. He finally  does actually bend a little.

During my very first interview the journalist asked, “Oh come on, there is something between those two, isn’t there?” I thought, “Really? Already? you got that from episode one?!” I remember we were constantly saying to [Claes and Dolly],“No, don’t play it. Let the audience find it.”

I'm afraid that for a more detailed answer you would have to go to them. All I can offer is my speculative interpretation, which is not exactly bulletproof but here it is anyway:

They aren't saying this angle is not toyed with throughout (it def is, imo -- like the whole convent gate scene where he is naked and she is smearing him w/ her blood, or when she has the noose around her neck and his foot is on the barrel, they are flirting ffs, they are enjoying each other), but it being there isn't explicitly acknowledged until the very end. So viewers who are distracted by the surface action are surprised when the evolving subtext surges up at the end of ep 3, but for those who are looking for it, there are traces as early as in ep 1.

Dracula’s special brand of seductive darkness pulls Agatha in but Agatha also has a hold on Dracula from the first moment they meet. It manifests in smaller stuff at first, eg. he calls off his bats when she asks and he spares Mina when Agatha demands it even though he could have just killed them both in a split second. Then he brings her aboard the ship disguised as his sick wife and, as he drinks from her, he enters the “blood dream” to spend time w/ her -- something he never does w/ anybody else. Despite its twistedness, it is also extremely intimate: they lie in bed, he is inside her, she is inside him, and they are exploring each other under the guise of a chess match. So over time, their entanglement gets more and more elaborate and contradictory and blurred (esp for Dracula since he is the emotionally less developed).

Feelings other than plain animosity are developing and mutating and wash together but never ever is this straightforwardly expressed by either character. The closest they drift to it is perhaps when Dracula says, "This takes me back. About three centuries, in fact. We must do it again.” but when Agatha rejects him, he quickly laughs it off and backpedals. Now that I think of it, he even says that she “came closer than anyone”, which is def an interesting statement that lends itself to multiple readings + “three centuries ago” Dracula was likely still a human man, so certain vulnerabilities around her may be alluded to here.

"Don't play it [=the emotion]" -- based on my limited knowledge of acting/directing -- does not mean seeds of emotion are not there to color behavior or for the audience to pick up on them if they are open to it/perceptive enough. It just means the actors focus on immediate & overall intent and not specific feelings bc feelings are very difficult to play consciously and convincingly as they are not clear-cut and are in flux. By concentrating on "what I want & how I am gonna get it" and not "how I feel", the emotion can naturally, unconsciously flow from the interaction (just as it does in real life), but this way it is not gonna be too obvious or just one thing. It results in a more nuanced and believable performance overall.

Given that what Dracula and Agatha want from each other changes and is not fully crystallized until the very end, their feelings are also shifting and in disarray until that final moment. They start from the mutual sentiment of “I will kill you but will toy w/ you first bc you are interesting” but the unintended side-effect of getting to know one another is that this original goal shifts. This goal change is just as spectacular in Agatha as it is in Dracula: she goes from “the last thing your eyes will ever see is the contempt in mine” to her genuinely smiling at Dracula as he finally gathers his courage and stands in the sunlight after 500 years -- sunlight she chooses to give back to him instead of trying to kill him or leaving him in the dark to suffer alone forever. And this gesture, this most precious gift, really, brings about a change in Dracula, too. She takes him back to the time when he was still human and he can finally die a proper death in her arms. But all this comes on “slowly then all at once”, and it comes as a result of figuring each other out, which takes all 3 episodes. It wouldn’t have been convincing or true to either character if explicit (romantic) feelings had entered the text earlier bc their original wants and convictions were just too strong for that.

I think they most def play with that "imperfectly suppressed" UST energy throughout the season, but I don't believe either Dracula or Agatha is fully conscious of how they feel about each other or allow themselves to embrace those other feelings until the final confrontation where everything is brought to light (literally and figuratively). And how they feel is in flux and contradictory due to the very nature of their interactions: they are locked in what they know is supposed to be a fight to the death but whenever they reach the tipping point, 9 out of 10 times they pull back.

This is why e.g. Agatha leaves one box and sits beside it waiting for Dracula to return and why Dracula gives his blood to Zoe to drink, then waits for Agatha's return. Agatha could have tossed the last box after she set him on fire to make absolute sure he has no chance to recover, and Dracula could have easily refused the blood donation w/ instructions bc he was about to get out of his cell anyway, but they wanted to crack the door open for the other to push through again. This is in direct (albeit still subtle) contradiction of their original goal but at the end of ep 2 that original goal (“I will kill you to survive” and “I will kill you to save others” respectively) still overrides other feelings that have begun sprouting underneath the surface action. But it’s a natural backsliding that will lead to the good stuff at the end of ep 3 when they are finally able to embrace another solution, the right one, together.

This is like Dracula not being conscious that internalized shame is what’s been driving him to debase himself. It unconsciously informs his actions, but he is not fully aware of it or ready to face it until the end. Same w/ his developing feelings for Agatha and Agatha's for him. Those are suppressed until a final understanding is reached.

and this has been today’s edition of “let me overthink this”.

[edourado]

Together, ch. XI

Here’s an homage for Jon’s look, that look when he was Shane and started to lose his marbles. 

I remember that literally making headlines, so here’s me, remembering it. 

Hope it pleases. 

Much love. 

---

It was a gloomy Saturday morning when Frank commented that he needed a haircut. 

He had just come back from his run, and was inspecting his own image on the microwave door. Karen was getting ready to take Lady for a walk.

“We might be a while”, she said, putting her hair up in a bun. “I’ll stop by the store to pick up some dog food, we’re running pretty low.”

And she did take her time, walking around the empty streets, sitting on a bench by the water, taking some pictures of Lady looking pretty, stopping to appreciate this little time outside. 

When she got back, it was a while before she actually went fully inside: leaving her shoes outside at the door, she first went through the routine of cleaning Lady’s paws, disinfected the bag of dog food before putting it away, took her mask off and hand washed it in the kitchen sink, leaving it to soak for a bit. 

Lady and Pooka were playing on the floor and Karen was in her underwear, making her way to the bathroom, when she realized Frank was in there. 

“Hey”, she greeted from the corridor, before getting to the door. 

“Hey”, he replied, voice low, relaxed. 

“I got the dog food, but they were out of-“

Karen stopped, mid sentence, mid step.

Frank was standing in front of the sink, shirtless, cleaning up after giving himself the haircut he said he needed, and she found herself staring. 

Shirtless Frank was anything but new to her, and she had seen him with many different hairstyles.

But there was something about that particular scene.

Maybe it was the light. Maybe it was the fact that it was gloomy and rainy outside, and the bathroom light, combined with the warmth of the apartment, created this cozy, lazy, indulgent feeling, or perhaps it was just Frank, and sometimes she would just be hit in the face in how, well, hot, he actually was.

He had shaved his hair off. So short he was practically - effectively - bald. His face was also clean shaven. His sweatpants rode low on his hips, and again, that light, that simple over-the-mirror low intensity light bulb, created shadows over him that made him look so… Appetizing. 

She kept staring, eyes running on the dips and swells of his chest, the tightness of his muscles, the flexing of his arms as he moved to clean the sink, the curve of his neck, and the surprising lack of hair on his head. 

Karen started and Frank noticed.

“What?” He asked, lifting a hand to his head to rub on it, and Karen’s eyes went to his bicep, noticing how the muscles moved, and she felt her toes curling. “You don’t like it?”

She blinked, surprised, and shook her head, smiling. 

“No, it’s not that, it’s just…” She took a step inside the bathroom, the tiles cold under her feet. “I’ve never seen you like this before.”

His hair had been getting a little out of control, lately, reminding her of when he had resurfaced for the first time, ambushing her in the street, the most dramatic way he could find of “saying hello” - actually asking for a favor. When he said he needed a haircut, she thought he meant the trim he usually got, and she liked it, was used to seeing him like that. She never expected this radical change, and it did suit him - a whole lot - but she was caught off guard. 

Karen spent so much time staring at him that Frank caught on.

“Did I miss a spot?” He asked, somewhat sarcastically, running his own eyes over her, standing there in nothing but her underwear, and she shook her head, lips curving in a little smile again, taking a step further towards him. 

“No, I don’t think you did…” 

Inches from him, she lifted her right hand to run it up his neck, around his ear, exploring this new style she had never seen on him - maybe a picture or two, but never face to face. Her left hand stopped on his chest, fingertips running the expanse of his collarbone, delicately, her toes wiggling lazily, and his smirk made her blush a little.

“You like it, then?” 

Karen nodded, smiling, and Frank dipped his face a bit, catching her lips on his in a slow, lingering peck, his own hands lifting, teasing the waistband of her underwear, the other one mapping the location of the clasp of her bra. 

“It’s reminding me a bit of… I don’t know, the time when you were this…” she started, practically melting right there in front of him. 

“What?”

Eyes running around his face, she shook her head, still taking him in.

“This dangerous man, you know?” He lifted his eyebrows. “The positively very bad guy I should stay away from.”

“Hmm. Great job with that, by the way”, he said, smirk back in place, hand squeezing her waist, and she smiled again, running that hand around his shoulders, now, the other one still feeling around his abdomen, turning her head to the side to allow him to place a kiss on her neck, closing her eyes at the feeling of his hands, which grew a tad impatient, squeezing. 

“I don’t think anyone can blame me, really. What was a girl to do, when you kept coming to my rescue every chance you got?” 

“A girl should thank me and move on with her life.”

“Hmm, we are not having this conversation again”, she decided, tossing her head back when he moved to run his lips on more of her neck, hands full of her, now, pressing her to his chest. 

Catching his mouth on hers, she kissed him, deep and slow, full of that familiar hunger that started to flare from deep inside her, hands running over his back, his arms, up his neck, exploring, feeling warm, feeling melty, she was always putty in his hands. 

“Oh no”, she said against his mouth, and her voice came out breathy and slow. “You shouldn’t kiss me.”

“Why the fuck not?” 

Karen turned inside his arms, and he immediately hugged her to him, dropping his mouth to that’s spot under her ear, and she looked at them in the mirror above the sink, pressed together, skin to skin, his strong arm around her torso.

“I haven’t showered after coming back from Lady’s walk. I could have the virus on me.”

His other hand rose and grabbed her jaw, sweetly and firmly angling her face to his, and he kissed her again, and her knees nearly buckled from the intensity of it. 

And then he let go of her, turned her to face him, and he looked so dangerous just then, looking at her like that, like he was about to consume her, like she was prey, she loved it, loved it, loved it, shivered all over when he pushed her, hand on her stomach, making her step back towards the shower, stepping with her, closing the shower curtain behind them, kissing her under the spray of water, peeling underwear and bra off her, letting her take his quickly soaked sweatpants off him, pinning her against cold tiles, maneuvering her any way he wanted, making her bite down hard on her own lower lip, the water was cold before they were ready to step out of the shower. 

And Karen was lazy for hours and hours after that, a bit sore from their shower, she felt that high for the rest of the day. 

“Stay here with me”, she asked him, borderline whining, from under the covers of the bed when he started to walk out towards the living room.

“I’ll just feed ‘em”, he said, that raspy quality of his voice making her want to wrap herself around him all over again. “And then I’m all yours.”

She heard him filling the puppies bowls with food and refreshing their water, and then he was walking back in, looking all big and brute and strong and perfect. 

“Gotta watch those eyes, Kare”, he said, almost in a warning, and Karen reached for him, sat up to kiss him when he knelt on the bed and pulled him on top of her, hands roaming, moaning when he squeezed the flesh of her hip just hard enough, like he knew she liked it.

“If I knew a haircut would have this effect on you”, he said, moving to get himself under the covers with her. “I’d have done it sooner.”

She enjoyed his attentions, like she always did. Especially when he acted like this, with a little bit more force, his touch a tad heavier than usual, Karen enjoyed that immensely, and did her best to show it to him: he liked it when she got vocal, and so she did, just to have him shushing her, telling her to be quiet, even if he didn’t mean that at all. 

And he left her feeling good, good enough that she felt like jello the rest of the day. 

“Hey”, he said, hours later, running his fingers through her hair, her head resting on his legs while they lounged on the couch. “Could you make some of that brownie of yours?”

“Yes”, she said - breathed, more like it -, moving to sit up, kissing him once, twice, three times. “I’d say yes to anything you asked right about now.”

Frank smiled. “Dangerous thing to promise.”

“It’s true, though”.

She got up, making her way to the kitchen, Pooka running after her to try and bite her sock out of her foot, Lady remaining behind on her spot by the couch, enjoying Frank’s scratches on her ear. 

Karen made him his brownie, lost her sock to Pooka while she mixed the batter, watched as Frank sat on the floor, teaching the puppy how to sit and stay and lie down. 

(Lady, staying very true to her name, learned all the tricks and commands extremely quick, and needed less lessons than her baby.)

When her timer pinged, Karen took the brownie out of the oven, cut it up into squares and took it to the living room, in it’s own baking pan.

“Hmm”, Frank said when she gave him a warm piece. “So good. Thanks, sweetheart.”

“You’re very welcome”, she said, kissing him again, sitting back on the couch, looking for the remote.

She was wearing a big long sleeved T shirt. It was complete with a hoodie, but it was of a very light, flimsy material, it would not warm her on a truly cold day. She wore it with loose pajama shorts and socks, and, some twenty minutes into her tv show, Frank turned to get another piece of brownie, and put his open hand on her thigh, sliding it until he was grabbing her ass, and squeezed, making her wince, and then dropped his face to bite on flesh, like he loved to do. 

“Ow”, she said, not serious at all, making a face, moving to make room for him by her side on the couch, gasping when he dipped his hand under her shorts.

.:.

Frank slept on his stomach, arm flung around her, face on the crook of her neck, while she watched the show he had interrupted earlier. They had retreated back to bed, and she was propped against a thousand pillows - she had bought more after the lockdown, figuring that if they were going to spend so much time inside, they might as well be comfortable - her leg curled against one of his own, her fingertips running up and down his back, gently, just a feather of a caress. 

Looking down at him, she wondered if it actually was his haircut that had put her in such a mood, because it was no news to her how handsome he was, how in shape he was, how attracted she was to him, but they had been together for months and months, now, and it had been a while since she had felt this… Thirsty.

Someone shouted, on TV, and there was a bang, screams, and Karen quickly grasped the remote, lowering the volume, but Frank stirred, groaning, his hand squeezing her again, settling more comfortably against her, and, again, she watched the muscles working under his skin. 

And that settled it, she thought. Living with a guy like Frank, perpetual thirst was pretty much part of the deal.

[elixir448]

Good Girls 3x04 and 3x05 Disorganised Monster Post

Apologies in advance for the absolute mess this is going to be. I’ll start with 3x04 and try to keep it organised but it just...won’t be. And yeah, I made all the Dean sections about Beth and Rio. Bite me.

Mick

I. Am. In. Love. With. This. Man. I’m sorry but when he rolled down his window and said “good morning”, my jaw hit the ground. His voice is unreal. Does everyone in Rio’s gang have an amazing voice? Is it a requirement for joining? What is this sorcery?

I also get a kick out of the fact that he is so polite and charming with people that he doesn’t really know, just like Rio. I can’t help but think that they must have grown up together to be so similar in that way. Also, Mrs Karpinski and Mick. I would like to see more of them.

Beth and Dean (Did I make this section all about Beth and Rio? I may have.)

I think @pynkhues has already mentioned this and I totally agree with it. That Dean just works as a character so much better in humourous scenes, like when he’s purchasing a gun. I think the last time I laughed so much at a scene with Dean in it was at the end of 2x07, when he’s interacting with the krav maga instructor.

The moose analogy was hilarious and, I’m not gonna lie, I hope Dean sticks around in the story just so we can get more outsider POV of Beth and Rio’s relationship, because it is genuinely one of my favourite things in the show and to read about in fanfic. And Dean, Rio does not “have his way” with ‘your wife’; she wouldn’t be such a pain in his ass if he did. He did this in 3x05 as well, where he referred to Beth as “something you love”. She’s not an object that people can love or have their way with.

I am convinced that Dean’s gun will be utilised within the story at some point, although whether it will be used by him is up for debate.

When he walks into the house with the gun and ignores Beth’s questions about about it, only answering when she becomes more insistent, I was struck by the childhishness of Dean’s character.

Let me articulate this for a second.

Let’s compare this scene to the way Dean acts in 2x07, when he refuses to watch the kids after Jane’s dance show and immaturely lashs out at Beth saying that he’s going to book club. It’s not even about putting her in her place. It’s simply petty and it’s childish because their is no goal aside from temporarily annoying her. Just like in this scene. He walks into the house with a huge gun on his shoulder, in a clear attempt to seek attention but then ignores her questions and it comes across as petty and childish; in both scenes, he is akin to a child who can feel that the attention of their parent is wandering and so seeks attention by being as loud and annoying as possible.

There is no back and forth in Beth and Dean’s relationship at all. When Beth dumps cash on Dean and tells him that he doesn’t know her in 1x06, when she ignores his questions at the beginning of 1x07 and tells him to take the kids to Disneyland, she was putting him in his place because, really, he deserved it. When she took away his power in the dealership and he became a house-husband, she was putting him in his place after finding out about his multiple affairs. When Dean takes her kids from her, he was trying to put Beth in her place, essentially saying See. I know you. You’re nothing without our children. 

This is all very different from the back and forth in Beth and Rio’s relationship. Importantly, even though Beth and Rio are always trying to get a leg over each other (metaphorically and often physically haha) and even though they do try and sweep the rug out from one another, it’s less about wielding power over the other person than it is about wielding power over each other (I know what I mean in my own head lol). It’s that they enjoy it when the other person gets a leg over them, they enjoy the heated looks and even enjoy the gleefulness from the other person. It’s all a part of their process. Even when Beth and Rio seek attention from one another (Beth taking the pills from the cars and Rio mailing her body parts), it’s less about the end result of having the other person’s attention focused on them or having power over them; it’s more about imagining how they they will look, how they will feel, how they will react when they find out. All of it’s important. It’s all foreplay.

Also, it was one bullet Dean. Not a full clip.   

Before Dean kisses Beth, he says “We were so good with him gone.” Honestly, that line felt like the 100th nail in the coffin haha. Dean just doesn’t get Beth and he doesn’t understand that there is a lack of emotional intimacy in their relationship. He hasn’t picked up on the fact that she’s actually experienced a regression on a personal level; she’s wrapped herself up in the comfort of her familiar life, with her kids, her house and her husband only after Rio’s death. The only reason he felt they were good was because they were having sex, even if it was for all the wrong reasons on Beth’s part. Even then, he classes it as good because it was sex with him.

The reality is that all this matters less than the simple truth, which is that Rio isn’t gone anymore. He’s back. And Dean knows, as stupid as he is, that it’s only a matter of time.

As for the scene where Dean kisses Beth. Here are all the ways it contrasts Beth and Rio’s kiss in 2x09 (all the ways I can think of anyway). Sorry. Not sorry.

I’d like to point out that Dean walks exactly 3 steps towards Beth, before stopping and taking her jacket from her. The same number of steps that Beth took towards Rio in her bedroom. The same number of steps that Rio took towards Beth. And notably, the same number of steps that Beth did not take towards Dean in this scene.

Yes, Beth kissed Dean back and participated in the kiss itself. But she did not participate at all in the lead-up which is, arguably, just as important. When Beth kissed Rio, the mutual nerves, tenderness and affection were a huge part of the scene. In other words, the lead-up was just as important as the kiss itself. That was very much lacking here. I suppose one could argue that this is not Beth and Dean’s first kiss but it certainly is their first on-screen kiss and presumably the first kiss they have shared in a long time. For all intents and purposes, it should be like a ‘first kiss’ because it’s their first kiss after all the betrayals, lies and disdain.

This scene, like Beth and Rio’s, takes place in daylight but, it’s different in basically every other way. Dean grabs Beth and sort of positions her head to directly face him. When Beth leaned in to kiss Rio in her bedroom, he angles his head just right and very slighly inches his head closer. For her. Beth doesn’t even do that for Dean. He leans in and kisses her and she doesn’t actually do anything to make that easier for him, nothing to indicate that she wants him to.

The music also sounds very...young, for lack of a better word. Almost high school. I think that was a very purposeful choice, given that this is the first on-screen kiss between Beth and Dean. In this scene, I definitely saw them more as they probably were when they were in high school, before they got married. There was a notable lack of any music in the scene where Beth and Rio kiss. Honestly, the scene just didn’t need any.

Christina was amazing here. After Dean releases her, her head kind of just disappointedly falls away and she opens her eyes and looks a little bit...defeated. Perhaps because she didn’t feel more or enjoy the kiss. Because it was Dean. And god, then the scene cuts to Rio coming into Paper Porcupine and the most sexually loaded, non-sex scene in the history of television....although every one of Beth and Rio’s scenes feels that way to be honest. The fact that the episode ended here, on a climactic note when Rio scrutinises the money Beth finishes making, says a lot.

The Hills (including 3x05)

I LOVED this storyline. It’s such a great way of exploring the way that Ruby’s guilt over committing crimes has gradually transitioned into a lack of guilt for the crimes that she has become ‘used to’, i.e: robberies, lying. It’s also such a great callback to a common theme in this show, “All this stuff you think you’re keeping from them. You’re not”. The fact that this was said by Ruby in season 1 and is once again coming full circle is peak writing. Also, this means that another one of my hiatus wishes has come true, that the kids would find out more or be suspicious of their parents. I wondered if it would be Kenny, Sadie or Sara who would catch on. Looks like it’s Sara. Lidya Jewett was the perfect one of the children to explore this through because she is such an amazing actress and Sara’s already had an introduction to this arc, due to Stan being arrested in the last season and her having to grapple with the fact that he did indeed commit a crime.

And look, I am the last person who wants to see Ruby and Stan fight. But I think it’s such an important arguement for them to have. Not the fact that Ruby’s committing crimes but the fact that she seems so comfortable with it now and that this is potentially becoming a model for learned behaviour for their children. The only people they love more than each other are their children.

Lidya Jewett did such a great job portraying the audaciousness and the brattiness of a teen when they are confronted by a parent calling out their behaviour. The tit for tat between Sara and Ruby was amazing. Like nuh uh, you may be right about the shady ass stuff I’ve been up to but I’m still the queen in this house. So now you owe me.

I also love the idea that Beth and Ruby have learnt so much from crime-ing. In 3x02, Beth taught Annie a lesson about how they had to deal with the mover ASAP or all the criminals in Detroit would know that they were pushovers. In this episode, Ruby teaches Sara that when you lie once, you need to know that you’ll be lying a dozen more times just to uphold your original story. It’s never over.

In 3x05, I was like why u do dis? I love this storyline and I don’t think that Stan will leave Ruby but god, the idea that Ruby is so terrified of it in Beth’s van, and for good reason, is actually scaring me. The stills from 3x07 and the hints Reno gave that we would find out how Stan feels about Beth have me shaking. I’m so excited but scared at the same time.

Annie

This is probably the first episode where I felt as though Annie’s therapy storyline really found its feet. I’m going to ignore the fact that retinoblastomas mainly only occur in children. Aside from that, it really found its feet haha.

I also just loved the humour of Annie’s scenes in this episode. Mae Whitman is amazing and her delivery is always fantastic. I genuinely think that her long-winded speech in the pawn shop about how she spent her night is one of my favourite comedic moments of the season so far. What a great callback to Annie’s gazelle run when she’s chasing down Mary Pat!

Oh god. When she was asking Dr Cohen about what was going on between them, I was physically cringing because I knew she was going to smash into a brick wall. It was painful to watch. Stop gal, stop.

It was also painful to see Dr Cohen ruthlessly lay out Annie’s psychological coping mechanisms in front of her, partly because it was coming from a place of genuine concern and care and she knew it.

Beth and Rio (Will I ever write a reasonable amount in this section? Nope.)

Gosh, the entire scene leading up to Beth and Rio in the bar and that scene in itself was peak television. Suspenseful, intense, a good back and forth between characters with unbelievable chemistry. I genuinely think that this is one of the scenes in the show that best depicts the ‘dark’ in dark comedy and the ‘drama’ in dramedy, which are usually the genres used to describe the show.

I don’t know what everyone else views as their favourite ‘dark’/’dramatic’ moments in the show? Their are many scenes which I feel really capture the themes above but some of them are:

1. 1x04 - When the girls hear a thump from the bedroom Eddie’s recovering in and they run upstairs only for him to confront them with a gun.

2. 1x06 - Boomer plants drugs in Annie’s locker, Beth dumps bags of cash on Dean.

3. 1x07 - Rio and his boys confront the girls in Beth’s house.

4. 1x09 - Beth and Rio’s first break-up scene in 1x09.

5. 1x10/2x01 - “If you wanna be the king, you gotta kill the king.”

6. 2x07 - Beth and Rio argue in the alley.

7. ....you get the point. Maybe I should write a separate post all about this?

Now this bar scene (3x04) and the entire sequence with Rio, Lucy, his boys and the girls at paper porcupine and outside the van (3x05) are included on my list of amazing ‘dark’/’dramatic’ scenes.

I’d also like to acknowledge the piano music in this scene, which is also present during the scene in Paper Porcupine in 3x05, while Rio waits patiently for Lucy to complete her counterfeit money design. It’s a stunning piece of music and it adds so much suspense to the scenes. I hope it’s released at some point!  

First of all, we have Beth and Dean lying in bed. Everything about this screams that Dean is intruding, from his loud snores, to the way he’s leaning so far into her side of the bed, to the way that Beth is looking out of her French doors, away from him, and clearly thinking about what she’s going to do with regards to Rio. I spoke about this in my 3x02 thoughts post but ever since Beth and Rio began orbiting around one another, ever since their fascination with one another began (god, basically from the beginning), Dean has been consistently displayed as intruding on their relationship, despite the fact that he and Beth are still technically married and he’s always ranting about how Rio is wrecking and ‘intruding’ in on their lives. Beth and Rio have always had a tangible intimacy that’s unbelievably loud in their relationship, even before they slept together. It always feels like any voices aside from their own, any person besides them is an intrusion when they’re together or thinking about eachother.

Beth lies in bed, next to Dean, and thinks about Rio before running away from her husband and her house to see him under the cover of darkness. It feels intimate and loaded with implications. It’s absolutely driven by fear and her desire to survive but the set-up of the scene is inherently romantic. It’s akin to someone sneaking out to see their lover whom they’re having an affair with.

I could wax poetic about how much I love this scene in its entirety. When Good Girls is good, it’s fucking good. The way that Beth is frightened and then annoyed with Mick for saying something behind her when she’s the one running around at ridiculous o’clock, the imposing figure he cuts as he smokes, the way he considers her. Just. All. Of. This. I love all of Beth and Rio’s scenes, including the ones that take place during the day. But gosh, there’s just something about the scenes that take place in the dark that I find dangerous and addictive.

Rio walks into his bar, briefly nods at the bartender and greets Mick. But as soon as he sees Beth, he can’t look away from her. He doesn’t look at Mick as they clasp hands, his lips part and stay that way as he looks at her AND if you look closely, for a brief second, he stands taller and very slightly pushes his shoulders back before walking towards her.

While they are sitting at the bar together, Rio is depicted as exhausted and conflicted. This shot is stunning:

Their conversaion is so well done. Rio sceptically eyeing Beth’s finished drink and only suggesting that she slow down when she asks for a shot of tequila, his hand gently coming down on top of hers, the way he looks at her as he waits for an answer. It’s such a stark contrast to the way Dean treats her. Even now, after everything.

“One for my baby daddy here too.” SCREAMS. OMG BETH. I adore her.

God. The acting. Beth’s face when she looks at Rio after saying “I lost it”, a sort of confused and hesitant realisation that he looks affected by it, by her words. I still waver on whether or not Rio believed that Beth was indeed pregnant. To sum up what I think is going through Rio’s mind in this scene:

1. He has no reason at this point to doubt the words of Rhea’s OBGYN. In other words, it’s entirely possible that following the appointment, he grappled with the idea that Beth was pregnant with his child, conceived during an encounter fraught with emotions in her bedroom and before she shot him three times. It’s possible that he forced himself to be pragmatic, process it and accept it, only for Beth to suffer a miscarriage. There’s a feeling of mourning in the way that Rio regards Beth with his hand over his mouth, the quiet, sensitive way in which he asks when it happened, the way he looks at his palms on the bar counter, the way he tosses back the shot of tequila.

2. The loss of the pregnancy ultimately means that he’s lost the one reason, the single excuse he had to keep Beth alive. I don’t doubt that he could have killed her in the moments when he first saw her again, after the time he spent simmering, plotting and remembering. But now she’s under his skin again. God, she never even left but now she’s probably curled up somewhere inside of him all over again. It’s so obvious in the way that he says “nothing good” that he doesn’t want to kill her, that he’s tired and doesn’t want to even think about it anymore.

Following this, the writers did an amazing job with the back and forth between Beth and Rio in this scene. Beth is desperate and yet so audacious in suggesting that Rio needs money, that he should take another chance on her. I love her when she’s like this, when she’s clawing and doing her best to survive. And the way that Rio huffs an unamused laugh through pursed lips, almost as though he’s thinking, shit I’m doing this again aren’t I? I’m letting her talk? Except we all know she’s not talking him into anything. He’s just looking for an excuse. If anything, to me, he seems unamused with the traitorous part of himself that is listening to her for the sole reason of avoiding the necessity of killing her.

“You couldn’t afford it.” What a backhanded compliment. Rio can’t place a price on Beth’s head because even he struggles to deal with what her personal worth is to him, what she actually means to him, so I love that he ultimately just caves and throws out an arbitrary $100K which is much less than he has previously requested from her. I also love that Beth just focuces purely on the money and ignores the true implications of what he’s saying because it’s too much, it’s too loaded and neither of them have ever been able to contend with whatever’s between them, this thing that is indescribable.

As for the final scene of the episode. I don’t know if I can rationally articulate my thoughts on this but I’m going to do my best.

First of all, I love the idea of Beth and Rio watching each other when the other person isn’t aware of it. So when Rio enters paper porcupine and slowly walks towards her while Beth is rifling through items, unaware that he’s behind her, it just does something to me. I love it.

Also, I love the way they almost circle one another until Beth stops on the other side of the table in between them. They are so often depicted to be standing across from one another. Forever waiting for the day where they stand side by side against a common enemy.

When Rio alludes to Beth doing some custom-printing for him and she immediately catches on, she looks at him with her big, blue eyes and her voice is so feminine when she says “I don’t know what you’re talking about”. God, you can’t convince me Rio isn’t into that.

I’m not going to talk about the music too much just because this is getting too long and the fandom is already obsessed with the song anyway. The lyrics are a complete revelation and the song was, of course, purposefully chosen. I loved the entire song and the implications for Beth and Rio’s relationship but one part I particularly love:

“Though we sleep in different beds You still keep me up at night”

God, Beth lay awake next to Dean, thinking of what she was going to say to Rio, before running away to see him. There’s no way Rio doesn’t lie awake at night and think about Beth. I. Just. Can’t. This is already getting too long.

The youtube video that went up for this scene sums it up pretty well. Rio really does look pretty mesmerised by Beth in this scene. She looks at him apprehensively because she’s afraid of him and fearful for her operation but she keeps doing it because he makes her nervous, because she likes looking at him, because she likes it when he watches her, because she feels something for him and it’s all just too much because he’s watching her, just like he always has but she’s never gotten used to it. GAHHHH.

I also just love interpreting this scene after watching 3x05, when Dean says twice that Beth is “something you (Rio) love”. Beth refutes that at the end of the episode, saying Rio loves money. But here we have all three things, Beth, Rio and money in one scene. And yes, Rio’s watching Beth make money but he also can’t look away from her.

Just look at this shot. Beth and Rio facing each other, as they often do, at equal heights, with the money symbolically positoned between them. It’s not just something that separates them though. It’s something they share if that makes sense. It’s something they both care about but you can care about more than one thing.

And looks like Rio found another excuse to keep her alive. I mean, he had already found one, by demanding 100K but this is now something he can directly participate in and benefit from. Something long-term that keeps them tied together, rather than a one-off payment. He just can’t help himself, can he? They can’t let each other go.

I don’t know where else to put this. But seeing Beth wearing glasses was...life-changing.

Moving on to 3x05.

The Opening Scene and Mick

STOP SAYING GOOD MORNING AND STOP TALKING. DON’T SAY ANYTHING. I CAN’T DEAL WITH YOUR VOICE MICK.

Ahem. We also met more of Rio’s boys which means another one of my hiatus wishes came true. I’m really curious to meet Rio’s bosses, who Manny has said we will learn more about in this season, and what the debts he needs to repay are, which he alluded to in the sneak peek from 3x06 (THE ANGST). I’m guessing it has something to do with the fact that we was out of the game for so long or maybe because people have found out that he fed Turner names, or both?

I love smart Beth. Taking the plates used to make the counterfeit money as a precautionary measure was really important but also just...kind of tragic. I’m going to talk more about this later (see Paper Porcupine and the Shooting).

Also, how freaking loaded was that scene where Beth tries to pay Mick to buy more time? When she said “what if I made it up to you?”, my jaw dropped. Not even exaggerating. And when he said “it’d be a huge order”, I straight up scream-cackled. This 100% backs up the idea that Beth is legitimately the most oblivious person in the world and would totally get into a bunch of awkward situations just because she’s misunderstood somebody else or because she’s said something sexual without even realising it. I. Require. All. That. Fanfic.

I completely agree with @foxmagpie here. I just don’t think that Mick has or will betray Rio. 100K is a relatively small sum of money, given the context. We know that Rio only asked this of Beth because it was an excuse to avoid killing her. For Mick, this is nowhere near enough money to risk his life or his position as (presumably) Rio’s right hand man. And let’s be honest, in the crime world, who are you going to place your bet on? Beth or Rio? I know who I would choose.

Annie 

I freaked when I saw Kevin again because I didn’t expect him to show up after 3x01 but there you go! I genuinely love this though because I didn’t think he was homeless and it just shows you that you really can’t know what’s going on in someone’s life until they tell you. It really hit me hard when he said “I’m experiencing homelessness” because it could happen to anyone. It really reminded me of a news article I read about, about individuals who are homeless but aren’t necessarily sleeping on the streets; instead, they are couch surfing or sleeping in their cars but they feel as though they have no stability, no place they can call their own and as though they have been forgotten about by society.

This show is so good at introducing tertiary characters!

Dean, The Fish and “Something you love” (Did I make this about Beth and Rio again? You’re goddamn right I did.)

So, I’m assuming the three dead fish are symbolic of Beth, Ruby and Annie. The fact that Dean was responsible for killing them is, I feel, more symbolically indicative of the consequences of him breaking the plate in this episode alone. I actually think that when Beth says “How much did you feed them?” and Dean replies “Too much”, this is more indicative of the over-arching plot for the season and really the whole show. The idea that greed, money, and for Beth, the rush, are going to be what ultimately hurts them and potentially lead them to their ruin.

Dean really pissed me off in this scene. I was clutching my head and cursing him. Every little thing pissed me off, from the way that he slammed the drawers shut, to the way he held the plate higher up, to his slighted masculinity when he said “he didn’t waste any time, did he?” Even though he knows that Beth has been willingly involved in crime, he continues to completely underestimate her. He just assumes that Rio offers up opportunities and Beth can’t resist. He cannot wrap his mind around the concept of Beth coming up with ideas and executing them; if anything, it’s Rio who can’t resist.

I gasped when Dean said “something you love”. I think this has been very controversial in the fandom. @foxmagpie answered an ask and wrote a brilliant analysis here, which I would highly recommend reading. Following the season 2 finale, I answered an ask here about Beth and Rio’s feelings for one another and I feel a little bit vindicated write now, not because I think I’m right (their feelings are so complex and completely up for interpretation at this stage) but because I agreed with my initial assessment.

I think some people might be tempted to write off what Dean said as inaccurate, simply because it’s Dean who said it. Dean is often an unreliable narrator when it comes to Beth and Rio’s relationship. His view is tainted by jealousy, misogyny and the need to take ownership over Beth as his wife again. However, he did manage to catch on to the fact that Rio treats Beth differently (Rio flaunting the relationship he has with Beth in front of Dean in 1x10/2x01), that Beth slept with Rio and was using him as a poor replacement (2x06), that Beth and Rio have a relationship that is more than just sex (before Beth brutally emasculated him by saying she just really likes having sex with Rio in 2x11). In season 2, he did eventually see that, fundamentally, Beth and Rio are addicted to one another. So, I don’t think we can write off what Dean is saying in 3x05.

As for whether or not I think Rio is in love with Beth.

I need to explain the way that I view love, in the capacity that we use it to describe the feelings that an individual can have for another person. I find myself consistently surprised by the number of people around me who talk about emotions as being incredibly complex but then act as though you either love something or you don’t or, when it comes to romantic relationships on screen, if it isn’t love then it can only be lust or desire or an obsession. Personally, I view love as a spectrum emotion and I actually think most people view it in the same way, that you can feel varying degrees and intensities of it. It sounds obvious and that’s because it totally is. As an example, I think it’s absolutely possible to be a little bit in love with someone.

So, there’s a diagram I remembered from one of my lectures and I think it’ll help me articulate the way I view Beth and Rio’s feelings for one another. The short answer is that I thought they were a little in love with one another in the second half of season 2 and I actually still agree with that but I think it’s been buried under an avalance of trauma and betrayal.

Of course, I’m not going to include the original image from my lecture (which depicts the spectrum and crossover of mood and psychotic disorders) but here’s a stock image that depicts a similar idea:

Now, I think the obvious way to look at this is to stick love on one side and hate on the other, as they are classically considered to be ‘opposing’ emotions, and then something neutral like indifference in the middle.

Personally, I agree with the idea that indifference is the opposite of love and so I’d like to place indifference on one end, hate in the middle and love on the other end, especially when it comes to considering Beth and Rio’s relationship. I’d justify placing hate in the middle because it is an intense emotion, whereas indifference is literally nothing and these two have never been indifferent towards one another, no matter how much time Rio spends on his phone when he’s with Beth. The way I see it, Beth and Rio rapidly slide up and down the part of the spectrum between love and hate and those emotions never have time to settle so that they can be acknowledged as one or the other.

(sorry this is so bad)

I guess what I’m trying to say is that, even at this point in their relationship, the majority of viewers cannot point to the middle of this spectrum and say that Rio definitively hates Beth or vice versa. Nor can we point at love and say the same. I don’t even think we could point vaguely in between. I’d personally be continuously sliding my finger up and down the spectrum between those two points.

I think Manny worded it perfectly in his interveiew, “They hate each other but want to be each other. They hate each other but want to be with each other.”

Lucy, Paper Porcupine and The Shooting

I’m going to just put this in here because this scene was so dark (and very well done in my opinion). But Rio is such a little shit! Look at his face after antagonising Beth:

God sake. Check yourself Rio. Your boys, Ruby and Annie are all watching and it’s so obvious that you’re like straight up thinking about your crush.

Even though I loved the fact that Beth thought ahead and took the plates, upon rewatching the episode it all felt so futile and painful. It really felt like so many of the Beth’s actions took Lucy to that moment. I know we’re all thinking the same thing, that Dean unknowingly triggered all of this when he broke the plate. But the reality is that even if Dean hadn’t broken the plate, it’s likely that Rio would have eventually gone straight to the source of the design. From the moment Beth chose to bring her into this, Lucy’s fate was sealed. It’s heartbreaking.

I absolutely agree with @sothischickshe when she said that Beth knew that something was going to go down. She looks at Lucy so much in this scene, with fear, with guilt but also with an almost intuitive grief. I don’t think she knew that Rio was going to kill her but I do think she had a feeling or a thought clawing at the back of her mind, that something terrible was going to happen to Lucy.

Rio orders Beth to go with Lucy, telling her to “be smart”. He still has Ruby and Annie with him and he knows that Beth would never abandon them. He makes her choose between Lucy and Ruby & Annie in this scene; when she chooses not to ask Mrs Harris for help, when she chooses to beg Lucy not to finish the plate rather than telling her to run out of the store, she is essentially choosing Ruby & Annie.

So much of this scene was about Rio punishing Beth for what she has done, by taking what she had built, ordering her to go with Lucy and forcing her to share in the responsibility of what was about to happen. Because he hasn’t been able to kill her and he knows he’ll never be able to. But I also think it was about proving a point to Beth and here’s why.

Beth shot Rio for many reasons but a lot of it was about the situation she had been placed in and the pressing need to just do something in the ‘heat of the moment’. She has never been able to kill any of her rotten eggs when she had time to plan how to do it. Even when she hit Boomer in the back of the head in 1x01, it is was in the ‘heat of the moment’. She is bound by the moral barrier that separates a murder (i.e: intent, sometimes premeditated) from voluntary manslaughter (i.e: when provoked, in the moment.) I know Beth shot Rio two more times after the initial thought and I may write another post all about that. But now is not the time. For all intents and purposes, Beth cannot kill someone after definitively making that decision in advance.

Something that I’m so struck by with the sequence in Paper Porcupine is how long it is. It’s obviously this long to build tension but it really highlights to me the length of time Rio had to consider his options and decide what he was going to do. Even the scene outside the van was long; he had time to back out of killing Lucy but, unlike Beth, he did not balk. And because of that, he proved to Beth that he can do it all.

He’s basically saying look, I can kill someone before they even have the chance to go rotten.

Obviously, we know that Beth is Rio’s rotten egg and Rio knows it too (that’s why he’s punishing Beth in this scene). But Beth has never allowed herself to believe it. She thinks it’s all about the money.

Oh god. Don’t even get me started on the implications of Rio grabbing Lucy’s hand to help her into the van and looking over at Beth as he says “ma girl”. Yes, we get it Rio. Beth’s your girl.

@pynkhues​  pointed out that Rio has a kind of honeytrap language that Beth is starting to recognise and you can just tell from the way that Beth closes her eyes that she knows the situation is escalating and that something is imminently going to happen.

This scene is so interesting when you stop and pause and just look at Beth and Rio’s faces. Because Beth is desperately trying to justify why Rio should keep them alive. She keeps looking at his face and then prompting Ruby and Annie to speak and answer her questions, so she can prove their worth. And then, at the very end, she sort of tacks Lucy on as an afterthought and it’s just tragic. It was over for Lucy already but, even so, Beth basically gave a speech about their value vs Lucy’s value.

And I totally agree with everyone else. Rio did not look like he was being convinced by what Beth was saying at all. I mean, he definitely had heart-eyes (haha, they’re both idiots) but he didn’t look like he was really considering what she was saying, rather he seemed more like he was impressed by what he was seeing, almost falling into the habit of staring at her as intensely as he always has. He was definitely just letting her talk so he could put a bullet in Lucy and deal with someone in front of his boys and the girls.

Rio

We already knew this but Manny and the writers have really doubled down on how charming, personable and downright sinister Rio can be as a character. His smiles come easily when he’s questioning the mover in 3x04 and interacting with Lucy, he jokes around with them and exerts an effortless control over both situations.  Perhaps even more importantly, his smiles are real in these moments. It’s become very obvious that Rio enjoys it all. It’s fun for him. Just like Beth, he gets a kick out of crime and is pretty unhinged.

As for him shooting Lucy, a completely innocent woman whom he knew Beth had dragged into this. Well, I agree with what a lot of people have already said; I think it was in character. I mean, this is the man who sat and messed about on his phone while his boys waiting on the order to kill the girls in 1x02. This is the guy who killed Eddie, somebody he presumably knew well considering the fact that Eddie only called his mum aside from Rio. This is the guy who shot Dean, who we as an audience hate but who really had nothing to do with Beth’s plot to have Rio arrested. This is the guy who didn’t just have Agent Turner killed but a slew of other FBI agents. Interestingly, of all these characters, the only one aside from Lucy who was unwittingly brought into the crime world was Dean and Rio still shot him. I don’t think this was an attempt on the writers’ parts to make us hate Rio because let’s be honest, the vast majority of us will continue to love his character and they know it. This is who he is and none of us can lie to ourselves anymore. I think that’s good.

The Ending

I loved it! Annie seeking comfort from the people they love, the people who support them. And Beth not being able to do that. God, she looks exhausted and two seconds from falling to pieces in that last scene and Dean is such a narcissist that he can’t see it. All he cares about is Rio, not the effect all of this is having on Beth.

When Beth says that she also really hates being around Rio again and Dean questions her, “really?”, it’s the only thing he can focus on when it comes to her. Like once Rio stuck his dick inside Beth, she wasn’t just her anymore, she was only a person with relation to Rio. Ewwwww Dean. Go away.

Also, it’s so telling that Beth couldn’t repeat herself when Dean questioned her. God, even after Rio ordered Mick to shoot Lucy, she can’t lie about it. She’s such a good liar but, in this scene, she’s so exhausted that she can’t even put in the effort.

God, Christina was amazing. Her watery blue eyes, her forced smiles and pained expressions. I felt like I had been stabbed in the heart when Max said “except for you” and that Beth was Lucy’s only friend. I feel terrible for Max and completely agree with Lucy! He is totally awesome.