#but I wanna know how many ppl DO do this but mask it better than me vs how many people just… don’t

[bra1nw0rmz]

Hello!! A question for you, not in a offensive light at all but I wanna ask why you like pavlevi so much and how come it doesn't make you uncomfortable with the age gap? We don't know pavs age which is fair enough but.. You get my point! I still love em tho. Maybe I'm a bit conflicted

I’m so sorry but you made a fatal mistake of giving me an opportunity to yap about them ( but thank you for being very nice abt the question, it means a lot :3 )

Slight rant under more… tried my hardest to keep it short but I have so much to say abt these fuckass losers 😔

For the reasons why I like Pavlevi so much. It’s because they are my two favourite characters, I need to psychoanalyse them and make them trauma bond or I’ll DIE.

Levi has the solitary soul, he’s been alone for most of his life. What he seriously needs is connection. And I think most of the cast just can’t fundamentally understand him. (I’m not sure if I’m being biased and self projecting here because of my experiences being autistic but yeah 😭) And I genuinely think most of that cast would look at Levi with pity. Almost as if he can’t think for himself. And I think Levi hates it. It’s really a hard feeling to pin down, but it feels weirdly dehumanising?? Like say Karin or smth would mean well but it still feels like you’re being hang up to dry? And I think Levi fucking hates it when everyone is looking at him like that. And the pity ppl have for him comes from a place of being so disconnected from him. Most of them can’t really understand him or what he’s gone through I suppose?? It’s not their faults, it’s just how it is. Society has literally thrown him to wolves. His government striped him of his autonomy, has used him for it’s benefit and now it’s people look at him like this couldn’t have been avoided, that it’s something so sad, to be pitied. Which is also why I love pavlevi bc Pav is the only person that Levi can truely connect with. Someone else who’s gone through the same bullshit, torn apart by the same world. They are both cut from the same stone, just at different stages and coping in different ways which I think is interesting. And it’s so sad because why the hell does it have to be some Bremen fuck that actually treats him like a person and not just something to pity.

As for Pav’s side of the coin. I just really like to torture him. Due to what he’s gone through and seen, being in the army around the same age as Levi, if not younger. I feel like he’d see Levi as being fit to make his own damn decisions. It’s none of Pav’s business, Levi can do whatever and he honestly does not give a shit. But as they get closer I feel like I think Levi brings out all the guilt and shame Pav bottled up and pushed far down in his psyche. Like… he’s had to kill so many just like Levi, all to even get a chance at killing Kaiser. All of it being a glorified elaborate destructive suicide mission. And he’s very fucked up about it. Dread sets in for Pav because??? He’s a terrible person??? He’s had to wear this mask for so long, he doesn’t even know who he really is. Levi is just troubled and has been put in one unfair situation after another. Pav couldn’t move forward and purposely put himself in those situations and did those fucked up things. I also think it’s interesting to think of them as like an intimacy of convenience. Bc they both know they have no future and might die at any second, but it’s better to hold someone’s hand than be alone when you die.

Other tidbits!!

They are fucking funny, like c’mon getting bossed around by the enemy, and a LIEUTENANT on top of that, is fucking hilarious

I feel like you got this from the rant b4 but the Angst potential is crazyyyyy

Pav teasing Levi and making him all flustered, HELLOO??? I love blushy levi

Pav traversing caring for someone else that isn’t himself bc he’s fundamentally a self serving person gggghhh

IFUCKING LOVE DOOMED RELATIONSHIPS RAHHHHHHHHHHH

The way their heavily different personalities clash would be fun

Having someone there who's gone through what you've suffered through is so comforting. you're not alone anymore….. IM SICK IN THE HEAD

I think Levi should be allowed to kiss boys as a treat

I also think he should be allowed to shoot Pav in the head as a treat

As for the age gap.. I don’t like it at all ofc. 😭😭 It’s definitely not ideal. And I can 100% understand how that can be a deal breaker….. but I also feel like people baby Levi too much? He has 1 breakdown because he just got back from war, is going through heroin withdrawals, everyone in his home town has been turned into violent monsters, he’s hearing voices and someone just tried to kill him and he gets labeled a wimp. You put a guy in the worst situation ever and he cries ONCE and ppl call him a crybaby and infantilise him 💀 He’s stronger than people give him credit for… but that’s more of a problem with fandom than anything.

Also like… I tried….. I really tried to not like pavlevi….. But I’m way too fucking autistic abt them. It’s so bad that when I see them I get an adrenaline rush and do laps around my kitchen. I’m so serious. These guys are like pseudo drugs to me, I need to chop my head off.

And ofc I wouldn’t support 18 and 30 smth irl, that’s fucking gross……… And I would say the same for a stalker and her victim.. because look, I love S4marina, but it’s basically in the same boat as Pavlevi to me..

This being a fandom that should primarily be adults, I feel like ppl should understand that. Yk, having better common sense and media literacy to understand this stuff ain’t okay irl. I still realise it’s not everyone’s thing and I’m not trying to convince ppl to like it, just explain why I like it (NO ONE UNDERSTANDS THEM LIKE I DO, I NEED TO DIE)…. Anyway uuhm I understand it makes some ppl uncomfy, which is valid! Just don’t go into spaces where you’ll be exposed to it ig??? If you seriously don’t like it, the block button/blocking tags is right there. I do that too !!

[kabutone]

tiktok making me mad again

a lot of people have been saying “is xyz what it takes for you to care?? look at the suffering happening how could you not care!!” but like girl . that really is what it takes. palestine has been occupied for like 75 years but it took a genocide to really kickstart the free palestine movement (even though it did exist before oct 7).

BLM has been around for way longer before 2020 but it took multiple murders of black ppl by police for people to actually start to care. yes there are people that have been listening since before then, people that have been around since before these movements became so big, but it really does take generations of suffering and then it has to culminate in one big bloody, gory catastrophe to get people to care.

and i am watching yall ignore the millions of covid deaths! i’m asking YOU how you can turn a blind eye to SO MUCH SUFFERING. apparently it’s really easy. how much longer do we have to suffer until you care? how many more people must die before you do something? we reached the “tipping point” long ago and you’re going to your protests without masks.

i’m not asking everyone to dedicate their lives to doing everything for every cause. i’m only asking you to do what you can. cause when everyone does a little bit, it makes a big impact. everyone showing support for palestine is putting pressure on the government to call for a ceasefire (not a permanent one yet 🙄 but it’s something). this way, it’s not just the palestinians all by themselves, they have the support of millions. i’m still pissed that everyone seemed to give up on BLM before much effective change was made though. but yall refuse to mask!!! if everyone wore masks out, the BARE MINIMUM, imagine how many lives we could save.

the truth is covid is getting worse. the gov is trying to hide the deaths and long term damage the pandemic is doing, but you don’t see it even when it’s right in front of your face. we’ve been constantly suffering in silence for years and our pleas for help are consistently falling on deaf ears. it’s especially maddening when it’s people who claim to want to help, who want to do the right thing, and then refuse effective options for more performative and showy ones.

but i guess wearing a mask actually requires you to DO something. it’s easier to just make posts. you get to post a video of yourself doing poses, AND you get give yourself a pat on the back for making minuscule effort. that’s the extent that your care goes though. but to actually INCONVENIENCE yourself for a cause? ew!! yeah people are dying but… we can’t expect you to go out of your way in the slightest, it’s too much. so, you settle for telling people they’re horrible for not using a tiktok sound, because it’s so easy. it’s really a bad look when the most effort you’ll go to is less than the bare minimum and then you have the nerve to act like it’s the height of activism. it’s so frustrating for there to be better, more effective solutions and people go ‘umm… no…. i COULD help, and i know i said i wanted to, but actually i just wanna make posts and that’s it.’

and for the people that HAVE been doing actual work, like going to protests, donating e sims, contacting their reps, these are the people that are ACTUALLY living their politics and not just trying to look good online. and it’s working!! but i implore you to please please please consider the impact your actions. if you’re putting in effort, you’re someone that truly cares about helping people. just wearing a mask is not only an easy solution, but it’s highly effective. a lot of us feel hopeless bc individually, how do we help people suffering across the world? we can’t personally go help, so we can just do our best to get the government to listen and fucking stop killing people. it’s kinda hard to make a direct impact, but that’s why it’s so important that we have a LOT of people trying. it’s the same with every movement ever. but with masking you are directly helping the people around you, immediately. it’s low effort, but very very high impact. if you want real change to happen, invest in things that will make the biggest impact!!

anyway, kill the eugenicist in your head that tells you certain lives are disposable!!!!

[crumble-system]

im rbing again fuck y'all new additions / silly ☣️/🪼(jellyfish) Nyx/Jazzy - I decided to rb this again because like I CAN. and want to because like it still cheers us up

but a lot of the stuff has gotten better (thank you to the soldiers who helped, the system im sending this to, jams who ill send this to proper, nic @funnygalaxycat, @abyssal-cyberstorm @munchcrvnch, @chibi-piplup, yuriathon members, ect ect i ahve like so many ppl im not tagging every one i cannot and im still nervous timid boy)

also cider u were a help but ik he likely wouldn't see this, he's helped us and esp ribs and blaze alot

we are noticing our positive effects more on others!! which is helped by the people we care about (friends, acquaintances, moots, ect!) being alot more open about telling us we are cherished and appreciated

we are trying to get better at that as well, especially because some of y'all.. really easily forget that you have worth and downplay your own accomplishments & act like they're not really big things!!! but they are!!

you sillies are more brave and courageous than us!! you actively help us be more brave!! and make fights alot less scary!! getting like 50 dms by 15 ppl is not that scary anymore!!

it's just the friends!! who fuckin love us!!

☢️->👽 Prodigy/(Doxie)/lamet- i changed my emoji XD

yeah im only here to say :3!! im happy i like fronting, and ik i need to do more work and apologize to someone but there's some other older conflicts I want to take care of burying the hatchet and dealing with those before then, and heal a bit more.

ok bye im yippieing away

🧯Conner -

I'm proud of everyone of the ppl we hang around, and esp our friends, yall have grown a ton and have made progress. clap your own accomplishments as well, bask in that glory for a bit. this was written to one person but like, was also thinking of others because i love our friends but same time we are all a bunch of sopping wet cats "But honestly to us, though we have a limited view of you behind the mask and guards you put up,

That you've still improved alot, you might've done some things similar but each time you got at least a bit better at climbing out of holes you found yourself in than in the past

You've gotten alot more honest, along with having more of a backbone to actually put up & keep up boundaries & let ppl know when they upset you rather than bite your tongue as much

You've improved alot! and I'm proud of your progress along with like everyone I've been able to see the progress of insys, outsys here and those not here in this specific server"

🎱Ribs - yippie my friends love me! i know this well!

they tell me this openly! i am not scared to be unapologetically autistic with my autistic friends!

🔥Blaze -

this was about ( https://www.fourfullmoons.com/ ) but i wanna talk abt it more !! show my love

like the cameo was well I tagged you, you know who you are.

mainly I was thinking about why man, crab man, and some others who do not matter for the toxic people. along with the people who helped us out (and in many ways they dont know) like Nic, Jams, ashopia yellow fellow, abyssal cyberstorm specific like nimbus u silly, munch u helped too, sami helped, many others list could go on.

gayle before this made fun of me because I STILL cant get the words out that i'm happy that things are alot better since a certain server (that terrible roleplay server) and that like. I feel more comfortable saying "hey i care about you" than I was back when I formed

🍋 Gayle - you deserved it mf, I WROTE THIS BECAUSE OF YOU i will expose you on main.

you put up a shield but you care even more when you can than ribs. AND HES literally heart-core while you're more brain-core (ironic as it is for your sources)

also im exposing ribs because he hides how much he loves because he's afraid of being hurt

HE SAYS THIS ALWAYS WHEN WE TALK TO A FRIEND

esp if they knew us when we used doxiethepasta as our account https://toyhou.se/~bulletins/2151709.mike-in-icon

he's literally in the icon in front stage so he made that shitpost

okay im posting this i have icecrea

🌼Just a gentle reminder that you bring a special kind of light and warmth to the world that often goes unnoticed by you, but it is so incredibly meaningful. Despite everything you've faced, you keep moving forward, and that’s something to be really proud of. Celebrate accomplishments, big and small. Your existence matters. You matter. The world is absolutely a better place with you in it, there is no argument there. Keep believing in yourself and growing, because you make a difference just by being you. Everything will eventually be okay and you are worthy of proving that true. 🌼🌼Just a gentle reminder that you bring a special kind of light and warmth to the world that often goes unnoticed by you, but it is so incredibly meaningful. Despite everything you've faced, you keep moving forward, and that’s something to be really proud of. Celebrate accomplishments, big and small. Your existence matters. You matter. The world is absolutely a better place with you in it, there is no argument there. Keep believing in yourself and growing, because you make a difference just by being you. Everything will eventually be okay and you are worthy of proving that true. 🌼

OUR REACTIONS TO THIS,

Never know how 2 react when ppl actually say love affirmations to us wholeheartedly but ty ty

ESP LIKE when we're in these depressive isolation episodes that we get in

Though we're getting better at dealing with em

[flingza-roller]

Hi hi wow your cosplay looks so cool, do you have any tips or advice on making a splatoon cosplay? And happy birthday for last week, that pinata video lives in my head rent free

OUGH THANK U!! it makes me rly happy that so many people like my cosplay.... i appreciate all the stuff yall have said so much!

gonna put this under the cut cuz i typed a lot lmao

if u can find patterns online to use they will be ur best friend, winging it CAN work but. not always DSGKJ

so there would be a lot to cover but im just gonna gonna start with the tentacles- mine are made from minky but i know ppl who've used like, a more vinyl-ish material? do NOT fucking use satin, i made that mistake with my original agent 3 cosplay and i nearly smashed my sewing machine out of pure rage. satin + minky is SO slippery and no matter what u do the pattern will just, Fuck Up. its why the tentacles were shaped so weirdly :/ so this time i stuck to ONLY minky and the result was way better. i had a friend help with hand sewing em and it meant more control over how the shape turns out so it was way better than my first attempt. (i then used plushie stuffing to give em shape and it makes em sooo fucking squishy n soft)

I FORGOT TO MENTION. the tentacles are safety pinned to the inside of the hat for stability, im not wearing a wig or anything.

eye mask? use eyeliner or body paint! ive done both and they both work well, id recommend using a setting spray tho. and if ur gonna wear contacts like i did, ALWAYS put contacts in before any makeup. this avoids the risk of getting shit in ur eye while putting em in (also my eyes always water a fucktonne lmao) oh and if u use a blind contact, be prepared to have fucky vision whenever ur in cosplay. agent 3 cosplayers stay suffering 💔

if ur gonna hand sew anything, definitely try to use proper techniques. luckily my gf is very good at that kinda stuff and they helped me through sewing the poncho/cape/idk fuckin old rags, i used a whip stitch so the threading isnt visible (im thinking of modifying it to add big thick cosmetic stitches so it looks more game-accurate, same with the patch on the hat)

craft stores are ur best friend for supplies! if ur australian, i highly recommend spotlight and lincraft for pretty much everything. spotlight usually has the most variety in fabric, but i always need to order my minky online. if ur not an aussie, prolly just google which places to go to DSGJ idk what yall have.

but heres my number 1 tip for cosplay- HAVE FUN! i know this sounds cliche but seriously. i sometimes to caught up in my head over little things, like "this isnt game accurate enough" "the colours are off" "people are gonna notice (X)" but cosplay is supposed to be fun, silly, crafting experience, a hobby, but most of all ur just dressing up as a fictional character and what could possibly be dorkier than that? feel free to do things differently, u never need to adhere to canon (i literally did the hijack scar AND i have a face full of metal), being accurate is NOT the most important thing, and of course- body type, gender, skin colour, NONE of these things should stop u from doing whatever the hell u want. the naysayers can go fuck themselves <3

and if u dont have the budget to buy good supplies, theres nothing wrong with a closet cosplay! work with whatever ya got!

imma finish here but if theres a specific cosplay thing u wanna know more about please ask and ill help as much as i can :]

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being Peter Parker’s Younger Sibling

Peter Parker x sibling!reader

warnings: bullying mention, blood mention

a/n: a fuckin reach, its been a WHILE since ive seen tasm

prompt: y/n is peter’s sibling

peter and you were playful kids

you were just a year and some months younger than him, so you had a harder time remembering your parents than him

but he always told you stories about them that made you miss them a little more

peter was a genius, we all know it

he was the one helping you with your homework most nights

“peter i cant do it!”

“that’s okay, y/n. look, start with two times four, that’s eight, then four times six, twenty-four, right?”

“can i say a cuss word?”

“sure”

“math is shit”

you would cry during homework a lot

you’d also pass out on his floor after talking for hours

and you’d either wake up facedown on the floor or in your room since uncle ben would pick you up and put you to bed

peter took it upon himself to take you back to your room, but he usually dragged you by the arm, sooooo

you’d play action figures together

he was batman, you were robin always

“can i be batman?”

“oldest gets to be batman so im batman”

“but i wanna be batman!”

peter walked you to your school before taking off on his skateboard

and he’d pick you up on his way home

on half-days your brother taught you how to skate

you fell a lot

aunt may had to patch you up

“how many times do i have to tell you those skateboards are dangerous?!”

peter got you your own skateboard so that you could practice without him

you would text him after you did a trick and he’d always say hell yes! show me when i get home!

being his photography assistant

really you were his assistant constantly

science fair was the most boring day of the year

“y/n, stand right here, i need to get something from my locker”

*judges walk up while youre left unattended and in a state of PANIC*

you were bullied in middle school, same as peter, he’d always stick up for you and get beat up instead

it made you very mad but it was scary, too

“how’d you get into this fight, peter?”

“oh, you know, just happened”

“peter was sticking up for me, uncle ben”

“was he now? you’re a good brother, peter”

lonely when he moved onto high school :/

but you got there soon enough

you guys were kind of loners, just ate lunch together, lugged around your skateboards, you were an artist, he was a photographer

just spectating the chaos of high school, rolling your eyes at the drama

“i have two bucks, do you want anything from the vending machine?”

“uhh, a coke?”

you saw peter get bullied by flash and lost your shitttt

you actually started a food fight after throwing mashed potatoes in his eyes

“what the hell, parker?!”

“sit down and eat your goddamn food, flash, or next time it wont be potatoes”

peter was half-proud, half-embarrassed

trying to see how long you could skate through the halls before any authority figures stopped you

sometimes......you guys got sent to the office together :)

*phone ringing* “hello, is this ben parker?”

“which one of them is it this time?”

the principal’s office was a trip sometimes

you and peter exchange your glances and wait to get scolded

“ah, the parkers, come in, lets have a chat...why do you two always feel the need to get in trouble together?”

“we just happen to get along really well for siblings”

no you fuckin dont lmaoooo

it was always something with you two

like always

*banging on peter’s door* “I KNOW YOU HAVE MY BROWNIES, PETER, GIVE THEM BACK”

*peter through a mouthful of brownies* “I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOURE TALKING ABOUT, YOURE CRAZY”

“is that my jacket?” -peter

“you mean my jacket?”

“y/n, i swear to god if you steal any more of my clothes it’s over for you”

“well, aunt may keeps giving me your clothes, so take it up with her”

and then there was just the little annoying things

“peter, can you stop clicking your pen?”

*clicks pen faster*

“you’re the worst”

and my personal favorite

“peter, open the door”

“why?”

“emergency”

*opens bedroom door* “what?”

“aunt may is making meatloaf”

“shit, uh...get your board, we’ll skate to mcdonalds and tell her we already ate”

peter and you RARELY ever brought your parents up until he found your dad’s briefcase, you didn’t have much to say

soon he was flooding his room with conspiracies and pulling you in to explain them

he began acting REALLY weird, but he was pretty open with you, he told you he went to oscorp

“YOU SNUCK IN??”

“your standards for me are way too high, y/n”

soon you started to feel not-so-good and weird things started to happen

“peter??”

“yeah? whats up?”

“this is gonna sound really weird...my hand is stuck to the door”

“it happened to you, too??”

“happening, pete. wait—this happened to you?? what is this???????”

yall done fucked up and got bit by spiders peter had so carelessly brought back into the house

it was an adjustment to say the least

and this adjustment got a whole lot harder that one night...you can remember peter just...so upset

you tried to chase him out to make sure he was okay, but uncle ben told you to stay with your aunt

maybe if you’d have been there...it would’ve been different, but when the cops got to your house you were at a loss for words

peter was covered in his blood still

“hey, hey, just breathe, okay? it’s not your fault, peter. just hop in the shower, yeah? i’ll take care of your clothes”

when peter took your advice and you were left alone, you just cried, you cried until he finally found you curled up in a ball in your room

then he cried, you just hugged each other sobbing your eyes out

peter got distant for a while, which was rough since the two of your were mourning for your uncle and dealing with these newfound powers

sooner or later he came around and helped you out, designing webshooters and a suit for you

“we match?”

*sigh* “yeah...yeah, we match”

ah yes, spider-team

you really tripped out new york at first, they thought spider-man was a teleporter

peter was still talking about your dad, but you really didn’t care, uncle ben was always going to be who raised you

you and peter would be covered in bruises after going out

“uh—peter punched me”

“y/n???!!!”

“I PANICKED”

just being dumb scared teens that cant function to save their lives until they get a little bit lucky

seriously like, every big villain you guys fought was just the worst

peter didn’t help all the time, he was good at provoking them sometimes

“hey, spider-man, you mind shutting up for a minute? for my sake?”

“sorry, sorry, just couldn’t help myself!”

he gushed to you about gwen stacy, he actually dragged you to her apartment to be patched up by her SEVERAL TIMES

yadda yadda yadda peter graduated high school! how cool is that? but he was late (what a surprise) even though you put off spidering today just for this

but he made it and you clapped the loudest for him

“thats my brotherrrr!!!”

cute family picture! (aunt may printed a bunch of them and gave them to you two and peter pinned them to his wall)

you and peter actually have a lot of pictures of the two of you just goofing off

he has one of you stuck in a trash can that cracks him up every time

seeing harry osborn again after YEARS

“wow, y/n, last time i saw you i just thought you were peter’s annoying little sibling”

“aww, it’s good to see you, too”

electrooooo

this guy really worried you bc like, bzzzz shock

you and peter weren’t equipped for that

it took a while, but you were finally able to deal with that

and several other problems

including peter’s breakup, which was a whole ordeal of its own

*peter laying upside down on your bed* “i dont know, y/n, you know? i wanna be with her so bad, i love her...but her dad is haunting me”

*you, drawing on your notepad with your legs propped up on his* “yeah, makes sense”

you actually had to tap out during the end of electro, you were hurt pretty bad

“y/n, hey? yeah, you’re okay. stay here, just stay right there, i’m gonna be back for you”

*thumbs up to show youre still alive*

but when peter came back for you there was bad news, he’d lost gwen

he ripped his mask off and fell to his knees, you could barely move but you powered through it, giving him a hug while he cried

“we...we better get home before aunt may starts to worry”

she was at work, so you two had the place to yourselves to clean up and mourn before the official news was revealed

“i should have listened to her dad, y/n, this is all my fault”

he was a mess, you couldn’t bare seeing him like this. it’s been so long since you’d seen him like this

the funeral was rough, peter was grasping onto your shoulder the whole time

he insisted that he was going to stick behind and stay with gwen for a while

“okay, i’ll see you at home...love you”

“love you too”

you gave him a hug and left him to his business, the next few months you were the only spider-person operating in new york...until rhino popped up

“im coming with you”

“you’re sure?”

“yeah, im sure”

(these are kinda ass but anyways im tagging my marvel ppl even tho ik this isnt mcu so just ignore this post if you dont care, sorry!!)

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @rorybutnotgilmore // @locke-writes // @sweetheartliz07 // @queen-destenie // @natasha-danvers // @allthecreativeonesaretaken // @frostedgiant // @praellee // @emygirl // @lotsoffandomrecs //

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket Manga Review (ch 90-91)

Since I discussed the first few pages of ch-90 that contains kyo & tohru in my previous preview, this one will only be kyoko’s story.

Kyoko’s story brilliantly explores the effects of unhealthy domestic environment on children without the use of the zodiac curse as a metaphor for abuse. My first-reaction of kyoko’s story is the following:

I really enjoyed how kyoko’s descend into darkness was explored & how the psychologically-informed writing of her behavior was depicted.

I was troubled by how Katsuya was presented as the magical solution to all her problems. Kyoko was saved by romantic love in a more basic writing than machi. Both girls just needed a guy to listen to them vent abt their family issues once & tada~ they’re in love.

Kyoko’s story made me realize that Arisa is just a more modern & healthier kyoko.. The only difference is that Kureno didn’t save Arisa. She herself changed gradually due to kyoko & tohru’s influence.

1) Kyoko’s descend into Darkness:

Kyokyo told kyo that she was already “out of control delinquent before she got to middle school”, “ fell into the wrong crowd”, “ enjoyed beating innocent ppl”. subtly citing the influence of “delinquent peers” & the innate desire be noticed at home. I’m bad, notice me! love me, listen to me!

There are some elements in her story that faintly reminds me of yuki & strongly reminds me of kyo:

Kyoko’s parents gave her a treatment similar to “ yuki’s parents”: cold, neglect & devoid of love. Her dad, similar to kyo’s dad, felt ashamed & disgraced by her.

Kyoko similarly to kyo was angry, full of self-loath & self-destruction. However, kyo was never violent like she was. I believe kyo’d have turned like her if he didn’t have Kazuma to discipline him with love, care & attention. Hence, we saw kyo carry on a code of “ not beating girls, or ppl who aren’t hurting them, or don’t know martial arts”, like Arisa or the student council guy whop loves yuki.

Kyoko’s mom similarly of kyo’s mom talked abt the dad venting his anger on her after being pissed off with kyoko. So, a hint of domestic violence between husband & wife.

Kyoko described herself as “ made of shattered glass”. Tohru once said both kyo & yuki are very sensitive. yuki blocks the world behind the prince mask & kyo puts on the annoyed attitude to push ppl away from hurting him.

Society thinks that “delinquent/bad ppl” are always happy with what they’ve become. Satisfied with their destructive choices. When in most of the times... they’re as bewildered & confused as the community around them..

I really don’t blame the teachers for being defensive. Teachers aren’t supposed to be “life-coaches” or “saviors of students”. That’s sth the educators with their research gush abt & what society demands & what families wish for. The fixer-teacher!!!! Teachers are ppl teaching a subject, doing a specific job, underpaid & overworked most of the times, also, they come from various backgrounds, beliefs, & sometimes even if they meant good & wanted to “ save” a student, they aren’t equipped with the suitable psychological training. Yeah, there are ppl for that in schools, but so many students with lots of issues. Also, let’s be real, we love kyoko cuz she’s the “epic mother of tohru, we grew on her teachings thro out 3 seasons” but if you meet a loud, delinquent, gangster head, violent chair throwing student who rarely comes anyway, would you wanna deal with them?

2- Katsuya “ the magical savior”:

so, why did teacher katsuya helped a screaming delinquent? cuz he IS interested in kyoko. He said so. He approached her, talked & tried to help cuz he intended to “never let her go since he saw her honesty” ~ romantic? maybe to some.. I find it weird & creepy. him eyeing her & getting interested & approaching her & earning her trust. It is true that he has no intention of hurting her or forcing her & he DID save her in more ways than one. But why is this all wrapped in romance. He DID flirt with her intentionally many times from the moment he saw her until then.

If Im being honest, had he not be her teacher (trainee or not), & had she not be very veeeeery young! I’d be enjoying his flirting so much. He’s so smooth, playful & cool (not looking head over heels in love) which is normally such a fun dynamics. She was so head over heels, tho. Finally found someone who noticed her tiny efforts “ drawing eyebrows”, someone who listened & someone who didn’t forced her to do her “duties”. She tells him (her teacher) that she is ditching classes & he’s okay with that~ not lecturing, not urging. why? cuz He only wants HER. she comes to see him in the lunch break everyday. school? classes? that’s her choice~ not his business~ In a way, Katsuya is intentionally made not morally correct. Why? cuz a good moral adult wouldn’t be in love with a middle schooler & would care for her future as an independent person from him. He must be written with intentional desire to NOT care for morals or right or the likes. Yes, he later helps her to study & graduate but ONLY when that is HER choice & she made it ONLY to catch up with him. To cleanse herself & be “ like the other girls” . Kyoko deemed katsuya “ good person” &  herself “ bad person”. That’s why she was motivated to be good to catch up with him since she can NO LONGER see him everyday in lunch break. He fixed that. How? teach her in the weekends & provide better chances to flirt since he’s no longer a teacher & she’s his student. The issue is not teacher-student love... it is adult-kid love!! but hey~ they’re cute (they’re written to be, so they are) so it’s cool ( it isn’t at all..eww).. oh the dilemma that is Takaya-san’s love for weird big age gaps where one is an underage teenager...

Furuba’s has this big theme of “ love doesn’t heal or save”. yuki took tohru’s love & grew up by himself. Kyo’s love for tohru didn’t save tohru, she was scared to be in love & forget her mom. Tohru made the decision to be free from her past, herself.  Tohru’s love to kyo made his trauma 10 times more complicated & he acted based on his love for her & decided to leave her. It wasnt until he decided to face his trauma, past & bio dad by himself, that he accepted tohru’s love. Only two characters were totally saved by love:

Machi: has the excuse of being solely created to be yuki’s reward for acknowledging platonic love for tohru & everything abt her is rushed & made as a lighter copy of all yuki’s issues to quickly create shared grounds for them to connect. Machi needed to vent her issues to yuki once & all her issues were never brought back to the service again. She was happier, calmer & healed.

I expected more for kyoko. She IS a bigger character than half of the zodiacs! but she just needed katsuya to listen to her & she was in love & her issues solved.

I don’t deny that it IS true that sometimes all we need is someone to listen to us. Tohru herself said so & even yuki said it to kyo. But Even if someone listen to us & we love them, the issues that troubled us dont magically disappear until we face them or do sth abt them aided by those who love us. Kyo’s issues remained even with his love until he faced them, tohru’s too!

Katsuya:

had off-screen issues with expressing himself. He said that he loved kyoko cuz she was “honest abt her ugly feelings” while he pretended to “humor & please his dad”. He gave a wonderful speech to her parents abt the expectations of parents on their kids & the refusal of their “human weakness” again furuba’s main vision. Unfortunately, this was followed with confessing, marriage proposal & kissing her on the lips all while the whole issue is abt kids/ parents exceptions of middle schooler/ neglect & his own acknowledgement that she’s minor while he was “in love”.

Like the author wants to tie kyoko’s issues & katsuya’s issues so bad & present him as her ONLY chance for normal life. Kyoko was just repenting & understanding that her actions got consequences which is an epic moment! but romance triumphant & saved the day~ yay~! marriage!

The story would’ve been better romantically if it was given time for kyoko to “ grow up” just like katsuya himself said when they were at the beach. He said “ grow up, middle school is not the world”. He continued meeting her but never confessed & never crossed the line despite the flirting. But he KNEW what he was doing “ i never planned to let you go since I saw you”. He was cementing his place as the ONLY one in her world.

Had kyoko grew up, saw the real world, kept taps with katsuya, he helped her broaden her world, then they’ll marry without needing her dad to sign papers, then that would be a better love story than this.

Side Notes:

The writer didn’t shy away from confessing that pairing Katsuya & kyoko is problematic & stated it in canon (kyoko called katsuya “pedo”). She did the same with Arisa & kureno (Arisa thought the age gap is big & hana questioned if kureno is a married man). However, making the story acknowledge that as an issues doesn’t make it less uncomfortable, but at least, I respect when writers do what they plan to do regardless of fans. even if I dont agree with the writer. It’s way better than when writer becoming fans toy/ fans pleaser.

Still, couldn’t the author state that kyoko was held back few years in jmiddle school & failed & repeated school years? like make her i duno 17 or sth... this would at least lessen the big age gap... but no~~~ kyoko is what? 14? ... -_-’.

You bet this won’t change a bit in the upcoming anime spinoff abt kyoko. Just this year an anime abt an adult man & his high school love interest that he pursued stubbornly was highly popular & my real life friends were gushing abt “ him finally winning her/ being respectful & only kissing her lips once or sth/waiting for her to “catch up” with him”/ consent age differ in X & Y countries..I’m not dictating my beliefs on anybody or any country or saying my way of thinking is the just way. I’m saying, Personally, I think, there are better romantic stories than adults & kids couples.. The fact that this trope of (adults & kids romance) is still popular even today is sad~~

I dont mind HUGE age gaps as long as BOTH characters are adults. If any of them makes a crime, they’ll be held responsible by the law. & sometimes the younger adult is the one dominating the relationship. but “kids or teenagers” can’t. They’re easily groomed & manipulated, so it bothers me when a love story between an adult & a kid is portrayed as  “equal”. it isn’t.

I’m not judging whoever loves such trope in ��� fiction”. it IS fiction, & as long as you don't pursue a real kid/teenager in real life, you can like whatever in fiction. moving on~

kyoko’s delinquent life is well-written & if done right, would send a powerful message of being able to start over. But the romantic love aspect will steal the spotlight by (a) directing uncomfortable hate/disgust towards the story & hence all the discussions will abt the “pedo” aspect. (which is fair). (b) Perceived as so lovable romance since katsuya is the prince who to saved the neglected princess which is a trope that has stood thro time garnering lots of support & attention always, so all the discussion would be abt their “cute romance”. (which is fair since the author weaved elements that endeared their romance, such as: cute nicknames “miss no-eyebrows”, him giving her space, home & respect, saving her from the streets & poverty & having the most endearing tohru”. So, yeah, the romance will be the center of attention regardless.

I like katsuya’s character type in fiction generally: the flirty, mischievous & a bit cool guy who is so aware he’s wrong most times & plays his cards smart to not get caught red-handed. He’s a cooler version of shigure. It’s just the blatant fact that he’s been planning to “get” a middle schooler from the first glance & that she is wayyyy young for this, that is bothering me so so much~~ T_T.

I wont expect the anime to change their age gap cuz it is the essence of their story that she’s a lost kid with no protection against the world & he’s the savior providing everything at once!~ Remember kyoko went on to be the savior of an entire clan tho tohru~ So in a way, katsuya saved the sohmas by saving kyoko....

“ i’m like a stray cat that he looked after instead of chasing away”. kyoko with katsuya is like kyo with kazuma! >_<!. When kyo met tohru, he wasn’t a stray cat, most of how he dealt with her was cuz he already knew her & was tormented by remembering kyoko’s death & feeling guilty towards tohru’s constant pain. That’s why when kyo started falling in love with tohru, he unconsciously stopped pushing her away little by little & just wanted to be with her until akito said “ i’ll hurt her” that’s when he totally gave up.

the way katsiya appeared in the right moment to save kyoko from her dad~ oh the drama. XD

Hospital Discharge & chase. like mom like daughter~ but thank God the kids got a more balanced love story.

Comparing kyoko/katsuya to Arisa/kureno in the broad writing of their romance without diving into details: (a) I hate the age gap in both but at least Arisa is older & nothing happened until she graduates & become an official adult. (b) Kyoko/katsuya are more fleshed out & if you forget the age gap,m their dynamic is so cute & endearing. (c) the love at first glance, never meeting afterwards yet still sickly in love to the extinct of screaming made Arisa/kureno shallower. (d) now that I saw teenage kyoko, Arisa is really just her clone! I hate that this steals from Arisa’s uniqueness. (e) both couples ate ramen in their first meeting/first unofficial date signalling their blooming love.

I’ve said this more than once, but I was the high-schooler that fancied adult independent men growing up, I never pursued anyone tho cuz I understood it was a crush even tho I’m pretty sure my “ *_*” face was clear to one or two, but I’m definitely lucky none of them tried to woo me or influence me. Now that I’m a grown woman, I think back & laugh at my self. I fancied them cuz they were independent & mature compared to the silly high school boys, which is what those men are supposed to be (adults) & what those boys are supposed to be (living their young age). lol. Still, I wish I found someone somehow to be my life’s partner since then, it would’ve made my life less lonely~ T_T.

[rurifangirl]

aight. here somes the ask lore thingie

tw for ppl readin: mention of mental illness, father mention

firstly, how did rui end up meetin the rest of the gang? did they all have sum sort of run in? did they just happen to meet on exident?

also is the father a villain? i remember ya mention him, and was wonderin

and do they have a specific place where they stay? like in a dormstory, a single house, do they live in a single town, or in completly different places?

do any of them suffer from mental/physical illnesses? if they do, how does it affect their life/relationships w others?

Aight, so here we go, be ready cuz shit's long.

(1st part - The Rui n the gang meeting; The Shou meeting) No Tw

Honestly, I also kinda wanted to do this for quite a long time, so I'm gonna firstly talk about how the gang (w/o really mentioning the others name's since they're gonna get introduced soon) met itself and decided to form, and then I'll individually do It in Lyva's and Shou's case, specifically Shou's since i mentioned that his meetin was somethin id have to take care of in another post, so i will rn.

First things first, w the whole gang. Now It wasn't really casually, mainly because Lyva n Rui did meet up, but It was during a special occasion still, that being a really important manifestation in one of the main regions in my oc universe. (They don't have name's yet so pls don't bash me🤡) Them being primarly the Forest, where Rui eventually lives in after all of his past shit, the near-countryside part, where Lyva was living, a pretty much city living on water, where Shou's currently living, and many more, as such the dunes with which I'll introduce Qiran (hopefully tomorrow/today),The sea itself, some High up places and as I said many, many other more. Other than this brief intro, they meet up where Lyva used to live, but mainly because of problems and out of conviniance.

Everyone had something to take back from, so they agreed to help eachother to reach that end, so it's all really planned. Now i won't really go w Lyva, cuz i explained how she met Rui the first time n how they helped her, so I don't need to ramble more on this. Now I'm gonna go w Shou's part though.

This Is more of a note i wanted y'all to know first, cuz i really like how Lyva n Rui met him the first time (cuz the second time was when the gang then all agreed to form n all that jazz.). Basically, Rui n Lyva were out, n visiting new places as such, to prepare themselves further and to try and search for more weapons, cuz they both knew that they'd eventually get in trouble, and even though they still are good, they wouldn't stand much a chance, n since Shou's Place is known for its production they decided to go. N fun fact, there's many funny shit that happends, for example Rui tries to touch a fish, but gets SLAPPED by It. They're still mad >:[. Ajkskdj anyways, some other stuff happends n they just, lose themselves. They had a map ofc but still managed to do so. But Rui was usin It so, I don't really blame em for gettin lost.

Shit happends n they find themselves pratically in front of his shrine/palace. Shou's servitors (cuz he saw everything happend from afar n gave them the okay) brought em in, but rather than makin em idk some tea n just making them recouver, Shou rather put them under some "tests" w/o tellin em, to see if they were any use.

For example he brought them some cups of tea, but before drinking them Rui noticed somethin unusual in the water, so they gave Lyva a sign to not drink It, n as Shou asked as a reason why they just replied that they weren't thirsthy, leavin Shou in a kind of defeated state. Bitch if i love this part honestly, there's so much fun to seein all of their reactions, but I'm gonna go brief rn. So other of this tests pass later n Shou eventually gets upset cuz they're all winnin n seemingly makin fun of him, lettin him in a weaket standpoint, n a fight happends. Even though it's a 2v1 situation he can still manage pretty well, so It ends in a draw. They get to talk after this and get to understand that they don't have to necesseraly be on the opposite side, though Shou Is still unsure whether to belive in that or not.

After they leave him, pratically almost alone w only a bunch of servitors helpin him. He admits defeat n won't show up until the event and yadayada. (Also it's during this weak time of his he'll meet Qiran which i already have plans w so it's all goin to be said bout their relationship in their post.)

(2nd part, the father mention.) Tw:father mention

So it's true that w Shou i did mention his father, but I'm not entirely sure bout his involvment honestly. In theory he kind of is a villain itself, even because of his devilish nature, so it's true, but im not sure whether to make him an independent villain or part of a group of them. But rather than that yes, i do want to make him some sort of villain in the end, because that's also part of Shou's agreement to be part of the group. I will make concept art for him so he'll definetly be involved. Not gonna lie, mabye that bastards also involved w Rui's cult too in a way or another but im givin in too many details holy shit I'll never get outta this fuck

(3rd part- where do they live) No Tw

They live in their own homes honestly, but It would be no surprise if they'd all decide to sleep over someone in specifical, though they have their own place. I made some concepts for Rui's intern home, which here It Is 😤 (forgive me for the bad quality but it's 2 am rn 🤡) I made this a while ago but only did Rui's, so I'll do Lyva's, Shou's n the other one's too. They live in different places, for the exception of, atm, Qiran, since I'm gonna say that they're more of a traveller n don't have a stable home.

(4th part- the mental/physical ilnesses) Tw: Self harm and Mental ilness mention

Well, this Is gonna be a ride. They all suffer from Ptsd, which Rui n Shou suffering from It the most. It still affects them all, though in different occasions, so Imma just do them in specifical. (Also because i gotta add some shit to shou that i didn't wanna add because i thought It was too much honestly)

Rui-

It affects them really much. They use crystals n gems to avoid anything going w their past or anything remotely related It, as whenever they feel awful about havin those flashbacks when they still were a child. They never want to talk about what happened, n during their moments It gets really, really bad. Both emotionally and physically, as their body sometimes cannot handle anything so it completely shuts down. They never really got any help for It as Rui's too scared to share bout their experience, both because of trauma itself that doesn't make them say anything even if they wanted to and because of the cults influence, so either way they've got to handle It by their own.

Lyva-

Other than havin to deal w mornin sickness, which Is the least for her, she has to deal w her neglectful childood and how desperate she's always been for litteraly anythin, whether it's related about love,friendship, food, toys, anything. She tried to seek for help and semi found It, but as of now she can't keep up w It and has better things to take care of. It's still really bad overall, but she's hoping for things to get better. Spoiler It really won't.

Shou-

⭕Tw for sh⭕

It's... really fucking bad. I'm gonna get outta this w saying something i didn't want to add because it's really triggerin, but im gonna do It now. So basically, I've mentioned them acting feminenly for his own mother, but i didn't say what would've happened if he displeased her. She would just stare down at him and whispering some awful shit or names. This would happen especially whenever he'd slip off that mask of his or revealed even a tiny bit of his devilish essence. Note that he's still a child here. So, best thing he could to was to "punish" himself, which basically consists of him scratching his arms too much and, i don't really want to continue this, forgive me but it's kind of triggering even for me. But...you can guess what he's doing, since he even to this day still keeps sharp nails. I'm sorry for putting this, but it's another way to show how his mother fucked him up and now suffering from this.

I'm sorry for rushin the last part but i'm not personally vibing w it.

Tags undercut

@a-chaotic-dumbass @spoopy-fish-writes @dopesaladlady @damnfoxx (I'm really unsure bout taggin ya in this ;-;)

If you want your tag removed, dm me cuz it's 3 am at the moment n i may have messed em up. (I'm not gonna recheck tomorrow so that's why)

[wojira]

Hey some things abt staying covid safe i just wanna check yall are still doing:

-replacing/washing ur masks! I see ppl walking around with (disposable) masks that are going fluffy cuz they’ve been worn so much, or crumpled up as though they’ve been in someone’s pocket for weeks. You really need a new one each time you go out, think of how many germs are gonna end up on it (taking it on/off using the straps only and not touching the fabric helps tho). This is why washable masks are a good option, because you should be replacing your mask a lot.

-waiting the full half hour on lateral flow tests, ive seen people throw them out the moment the first line shows up, no! The second line is supposed to take 20-30 minutes to appear, I know the tests are proving to not be entirely accurate but throwing them away before you get the results certainly wont help

-windows open! god I wish they did this in more public places, ik it’s freezing (at least where i am) but fuck dude its better than covid ? Even just opening them every once in a while should help

[silver-wield]

I’m curious as to what you think about the friendship between Tifa & Aerith with the remake & if you have any (possibly in-depth) analysis of their friendship? Watching them interact during the remake really made me think about how much Tifa cares for Aerith & vise versa. I love how their friendship progresses over the game. I hope we get to see more of it in future games. I’m all about Cloti but I also love whatever Tifa & Aerith got going on for themselves, just the ladies lol

I gotchu, nonny!

About time we show everyone these girls can get along and hopefully people will stop trying to erase one of them!

Ok, spoiler warning for ppl who haven't played – do I still need to do this? Eh ok, (I tag FF7R spoilers as final fantasy 7 remake spoilers) and it's gonna be a VERY long one so prepare to scroll.

Also, this is one person's interpretation of the scene, so if you disagree that's cool and we'll agree to disagree.

You're also gonna have to excuse the janky quality on some of the screens, I'm grabbing them from Youtube and it's frustrating af trying to get the exact moment I want.

Other analyses if anyone's interested.

Shinra HQ vision scene (Cloti/plot analysis) 

Chapter 3 (Cloti reblog) 

Tifa character analysis 

Aerith Resolution (plot analysis/theory – I should probably update this since I've had other ideas since then) 

Train graveyard (not really an analysis, but I got some sweet screenshots of Cloti) 

Clotiscrew tunnel analysis 

Cloti reunion analysis 

The Promise Analysis 

Andrea's approval (Cloti ask response) 

Cloti action touching

Now, strap in and enjoy the ride.

Before the recap I'm just gonna say the vid I'm taking this from is over 20m of them being friends and they didn't even meet until late in chapter 9 and they weren't even together after chapter 12 and only reunited in chapter 17, so if they can manage to become bffs in such a short amount of time then yall warships can calm your chill too.

Oh and I'm also throwing in some Cloti asides since Cloud is in all of this too and I wanna lol. Maybe next disc we'll get more of the girls without the leading man.

Quick recap for anyone who's forgotten the series of events.

Tifa's gone to get info out of Don Corneo at Wall Market and asked Cloud to go back to Sector 7: “You've seen how much ass I can kick”

Aerith's decided that's a bad idea, so they head in and jump through a series of side quest hoops to get them inside Corneo's place.

After the goons knock them out and take them to the basement, Cloud wakes up and sees Tifa, who asks if he's ok. After his embarrassing moment where he remembers he's wearing a dress in front of his crush, Aerith wakes up.

Eugh, I've mentioned the utterly janky quality on some of my screenshots right? There's a split second after this where Aerith is beaming at Tifa that I'm trying to capture but it’s just not happening.

Okay, so Aerith has literally just woken up and the first thing she does is bounce over to Tifa and introduce herself, all smiles and cheer. Tifa for her part is confused but polite because who is this girl? This is pretty simple from Tifa's pov. She is just confused, but polite. There's no signs of “rawr that's my man over there you can't touch”.

Aerith is like that one kid who's always first to greet new people. She's very much the extrovert, compared to Tifa's introvert.

(Bonus: Grumpy Cloud is grumpy. It's like he expects Tifa to be more responsible when he hears her insane plan lol)

So, after hearing Tifa's story and hearing the obvious concern in her voice, Aerith jumps in to reassure her. You'll notice she's leaning forward with open arms. This is simplistic body language, she's being open and earnest. Tifa has her full attention on Aerith, so she's listening without any signs of dismissing her – even though they've literally just met and she has no idea what Aerith is like or what she might say.

(Bonus: Cloud rolling his eyes. He thinks they're both crazy lol)

Responsible Tifa makes a return here! After Aerith's done enthusiastically throwing all of them to the wolves, Tifa shows concern. She knows Cloud and she can fight, but she's worried Aerith will get hurt because of her. This is a girl she's just met and we've seen how she is with strangers (shinra middle manager), so going along with Aerith's idea with no reservations wouldn't be her. Both girls have semi-relaxed body language. Their poses are mirrored, so there's no one is better than the other here. They're meeting as equals.

(Bonus: Cloud appears to be looking at Tifa's butt in this screen lol)

So, we're out of the basement and dealing with rapists. Fuuuun. FF7 really went there back in the day huh? Tifa and Aerith are on the same page, you'll see. They're both disgusted. Aerith probably more so than Tifa, who I expect is a little more used to dealing with scumbags who don't take no for an answer. Semi mirrored body language – Aerith has her hands protectively in front of her while Tifa's are by her sides so that she can better strike a fighting pose.

(Bonus: Cloud at this moment in time is calling Corneo a depraved bastard lol)

Aerith's little eyebrow raise and knowing look here. Now, she doesn't actually know how much ass Tifa can kick, but it looks like she suspects anyone who knows Cloud has skills. Not to mention he told Aerith that Tifa can handle herself. (Or maybe it's meta!Aerith, who knows?) She's expectant, anyway and Tifa delivers. Not to mention the teasing dialogue the goons mistake for being sexy. But that's what douchebags get.

Vicious Aerith is vicious lol I just wanted to add this one because it's a great expression for her and actually shows a different emotion from her besides her typical mask of cheer. She actually looks convincingly dangerous here, unlike most of the time when she's about as threatening as a cupcake lol

So Aerith kicks the douchebag and Tifa follows up in a seamless display of co-op that showcases her fighting skills. She takes Aerith's lead and goes for it.

Then comes the fight scene. Massive co-op between the girls. Tifa protects Aerith at one point, who uses the opportunity to grab a makeshift weapon.

Tifa is the disciplined fighter using her Zangan martial arts and Aerith...uses a chair lol

I have to admit that's one of my favourite moments with her in the entire game. It also fits with the expression she pulled at the start of the fight – that vicious look showed just how far she'll go when she wants to win.

Both girls, all smiles, complimenting each other for a job well done! What else is there to say about this? Oh, yeah, neither of them needs a lesson in how to high five lol

Remember, they've just met like an hour ago, if that. They're already high fiving and getting along.

Ok, so we've moved on from Corneo's place and now we're in the sewers. Here's where we hit a change in behaviour from Aerith. She's no longer the bouncy puppy jollying everyone along to be cheerful and optimistic. She's now become very serious and grave. She could choose to reassure Tifa that the slums are safe, but instead she urges them to hurry. This is likely another instance of meta!Aerith knowing things before they happen.

Tifa is very in her own space during this section of the game; she's worried about her friends and her home, so there's a sense of urgency in all her dialogue. Worry is clear in her tone and Aerith empathises with that and reinforces the need to get back.

You'll notice in most of these moments between them that we're looking over Tifa's shoulder. That's her perspective we're getting, as opposed to when we get scenes with Cloud when we're standing in a third party location watching both. This is deliberate framing so that we relate to Tifa in this situation. We’re looking at Aerith with some distance, but a human perspective rather than an omniscient one.

(Bonus: Cloud still takes the time to flirt with Tifa by reminding her of their little “sayings” interaction from chapter 3)

About halfway through the sewers and the gang has to cross a manky water way. Cloud goes first, leaving Tifa and Aerith behind. Tifa is still worrying about what Corneo said. Her body language, expression and voice all convey a deep fear of what will happen.

Aerith, though probably meta!Aerith, again doesn't act how she did when they first met, which is to reassure her things will be ok. She's become very serious and quiet, unlike how she was in the beginning. Her face here clearly says she knows they won't stop the plate from falling, but I think she knows if she says anything it would just make things worse. She and Tifa are only just sort of friends at this point, so she probably believes it isn't right to confide in her when she's already worried about so many people.

You'll see again the perspective is Tifa's and she notices that something is wrong with Aerith. Despite having so many other concerns, she notices that Aerith looks down. Her question is that of someone wanting to have all the information about the worst case scenario, but before she can find out anything Cloud tells them to keep moving (nice timing)

And now we're at the crossing bit. Tifa's made her way over and waits with Cloud for Aerith. Tifa's very encouraging at this point, reassuring Aerith that she's almost across. Once the platform topples into the muck, she reaches out a hand and pulls her to safety. This is another example of Tifa being the protector.

(Bonus: Cloud grabs Tifa when she staggers.)

“Then it's a date.”

It's likely that by this point Aerith has realised Tifa is spiralling with worry. She offers words of comfort and says to think of something fun. They agree to go shopping, and Tifa suggests bringing Cloud along to carry their stuff (lol bf role)

What's interesting is their contrasting body language here. When Tifa lowers her guard she puts both hands behind her back, opening herself up. It's a vulnerable position for a fighter to be in.

Aerith does the opposite. She's put her hands in front of herself in a protective gesture. This makes me think that even though she's being genuine with Tifa, she's holding something back from her as well. This is likely another meta!Aerith moment because she's aware of her approaching death and doesn't want to make too deep a bond with any of the group.

(Bonus: flirty little lean forward and “nothing” from Tifa when Cloud asks what they said about him)

“I saved her, she saved me”

I know that's a line from Cloud, but it applies to Tifa and Aerith too. Tifa saved Aerith from the sludge and now Aerith grabs Tifa's hand to pull her to safety from the collapsing walkway.

Aerith knows she can rely on Tifa to help her and now Tifa knows the same.

Now, I've seen a theory floating that whenever Aerith touches someone she shows them a vision of OG canon. I'm taking this moment to point out that even though she grabs Tifa's hand, you can see she never touches her skin. Idk if this theory is right – I've not examined every time she touches someone – but it's an interesting idea.

(Bonus: Cloud pulling his “oh shit, Tifa in trouble I must rescue” face as the walkway caves in)

YAAS TEAMWORK!! They're more in sync than in the Don's place as they automatically work together to save Cloud, who looks annoyed that he didn't make it on his own lol

After that it's further into the sewers until we get to the waterpump minigame (I hated this).

Cloud is about to suggest he goes, but Tifa cuts him off, so she and Aerith head over to do it. Now, I was expecting some kind of chat between them or some kind of war hint, but it was literally just the minigame and nothing else. I guess the absence of something is something too?

And this is probably the only shipwar image in the entire game, so take it in, people.

I don't like it. I didn't like how it made me not like Aerith after everything she and the others have gone through until this point. Her dialogue towards Tifa is meaner than any other time and I feel like this is OG Aerith – the one yall expected. She mentions Cloud is “her” bodyguard – something Tifa wasn't even aware of since it's never been mentioned until this point and Tifa looks hurt by the way Aerith is talking to her. That's not jealousy on her face. She's dismayed this person she thought was a friend is acting not like a friend. The fact Cloud notices this and backs up Tifa's side by saying “Ghosts aren't my thing” is evidence he supports her and won't let anyone hurt her.

This is not a nice image. Hope the OG fans enjoyed it though and I hope it's the only shipwar reference Square makes. Tifa's worried/scared, which has more to do with the ghosts. Cloud is ambivalent; he's being SOLDIER Cloud. Aerith is enjoying the chaos she’s caused.

And the nasty shipwar moment is over and they're back to being friends again. Tifa's fear through this section of the game makes her cling to Aerith when the lights go out. Aerith, for her part, calls Tifa to her, so that she can look after her. It's a nice moment to rebalance their friendship after that earlier bullshit.

Tifa looks worried – although I've said before her default expression is pensive, which makes sense considering her personality.

Aerith doesn't look afraid at all. She looks curious. One of them wants to be there and the other very much doesn't lol

(Bonus: Cloud grabbing Tifa and protecting her is everything)

And we're past the bit with the ghosts stealing Aerith away and Cloud and Tifa rescue her.

Tifa crouches down and comforts Aerith. She's kind and sympathetic and you'll also notice that this is the first time we're seeing Tifa from Aerith's pov. This is what Aerith sees when she looks at Tifa. Someone kind who came to help her. A friend. Tifa smiles and offers her hand, reinforcing their friendship and that she'll be there to support Aerith.

(Bonus: Cloud and Tifa's complementary body language here towards Aerith really highlights how much in sync they are. They both touch the same shoulder and have similar poses. They really look like a couple whose goal is protecting their friend.)

And now in a reversal we have Aerith comforting Tifa. This is hollow comfort, however, since Aerith knows what's about to happen and they can't stop it. This is evidenced by the fact we can’t see Aerith’s eyes. Her expression is concealed. This doesn't stop her from reaching for Tifa because she sympathises with her struggle.

Tifa saves Aerith again, this time from falling pipes. Their friendship is growing, although at times it feels one sided. Tifa is the protector, looking after Aerith, while Aerith is the one who relies on Tifa. It goes towards Tifa's maturity, compared to Aerith's free-spirit. Tifa is the responsible protector, while Aerith doesn't have to be because she's got people who look after her.

This could be another instance of meta!Aerith, since she's very calm when she says this and doesn't try to stop Tifa. She might know that Tifa will be ok if she goes. Her word choice is....odd. It's not really her heart Tifa's following, it's her principles. She can't stand by and let people get hurt when she can do something about it. But the way Aerith says this line is pretty telling. There's actually a big difference when meta!Aerith is on the scene compared to OG Aerith – who is annoying af.

It's the mark of a fast friendship that Aerith can tell this about Tifa, that she needs to go help, but then again, it's also not that hard to figure Tifa out when she's so open. I can't think of a single instance in the game when Tifa isn't straight as an arrow.

So, we've had very few moments when we're looking at Tifa through Aerith's pov. And now we're back looking at Aerith through Tifa's pov. The look on Aerith's face is very serene and reminds me of the one in the bar when she saw the flower. That definitely suggests to me that this is meta!Aerith and that's who has been building friendships this time around and not OG Aerith – who is still annoying af.

I'm further convinced of this when Aerith mentions Marlene and the look on Tifa's face is all “What?” while Aerith's suggests she knows exactly where to find Marlene, what she looks like, how old she is, when her birthday is and what she had for breakfast.

An unspoken communication passes between them. Lots of micro expressions here and some quiet hums and nods. I mean, if we're at telepathy then they're definitely friends.

Despite being reserved, Tifa grabs Aerith's hands in gratitude. For someone who doesn't display physical affection a lot, this is meaningful for Tifa. She trusts Aerith and she's relying on her to save Marlene. She's grateful and doesn't have the words to express it. She just nods, once, and her eyes are damp like she's trying not to cry.

And one last teamwork shot because look, neither of these girls needed lessons how to high ten...Cloud lol

Ok, the last one is the most important – typical.

Tifa's asked Aerith if she's ok a lot over the course of the game – which is a lot a lot when you think how little time they had together. This is the first time Aerith asks after Tifa's wellbeing. It's probably one of the few times anyone asks how Tifa's doing and they don't mean physical condition. Sure, Cloud asks, but we know why. Everyone else assumes Tifa can handle it. Tifa says she can, so it must be true. Even when she's shaking from repressing her urge to cry. Even when she can't sleep at night.

I noticed this my first playthrough because it stood out, and it's meant to stand out. This concern from Aerith to Tifa and Tifa to Aerith is mirrored through their interactions. It's supposed to make you think better of the girl who isn't part of your ship. It's supposed to make you draw a line under OG Aerith and Tifa's jealous rivalry and start thinking of them as friends. Because they are friends.

Conclusion:

The devs tried to end the ship war by making the girls more friendly towards each other in hopes that yall would stop bashing the one you don't like. These girls clearly have little rivalry going on. They're supportive, kind, open and understanding towards each other. Their friendship is one of my favourite things in the game and did actually go a long way to making me like Aerith – did I mention I hate OG Aerith?

Instead of arguing who Cloud loves more, why not try appreciating each girl for the qualities she brings to the overall game and to each other's life? 

Aerith likes Tifa. Tifa likes Aerith.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

A Prompt

April 14th: What do you like about being autistic?

can be Hard To Say only because it's like, literally everything about me being an autistic person's Characteristics lol, and that like, that initial sense of Difference between myself and other people was like, noticing some sort of mismatch / misalignment, but also that i was the one feeling shut out / out of place about it, so it's defined in that negative way like, well i guess i'm doing things wrong somehow, and it all keeps being framed like, whenever it seems to stand out that there's something Different about myself, it's about trying to figure out what's wrong here, why some interaction isn't working or whatever, and when actually getting positive responses or whatever, it's doesn't quite feel so individual, like, oh i guess i'm just seeming normal to people here, right lol. but that, also, of course, things you Could consider positive / like about yourself sure might not be received / responded to in that way by other people, can't always even just feel neutral about anything / not notice it, even if it can't possibly actually Matter / isn't causing any kind of problem for anyone else it's like well why are you doing this unnecessarily & Weirdly.....and you know, pathological model vs social model, naturally, where i don't think "hey if this part of being autistic led to Negative Experiences, it's b/c being autistic is worse than being allistic and i wish i was allistic, b/c that's the only way to Not be, for example, objectively and rightfully excluded and punished by people around me" lmao

but for a start i saw some quote from an autistic person the other day mentioning just this sort of like, what they love about themself re: being autistic, and i remember one of them being You Mean What You Say lol, with the example "if i ask 'how are you' it's because i want to know how you are" lmao like yeah a really exhausting Greeting Ritual in particular when it's like, literally every time you hear that you have that awareness like "okay remember this person doesn't Actually want to hear about how you are," tbt to times like "when it's was really discouraging being texted regularly like 'what're you up to / how long will you be away' because for a sec i'd interpret it as 'this person is actually just asking what's up or wondering when you'll be around to hang out with, might be asking with the intention of making plans With you,' but then i have to remember it's about hoping i'm Away so my presence isn't interfering with what they want to do and of course it's not about genuine interest in my life/day otherwise or wanting to hang out" like, this shit is exhausting lmao. and you know, of course i know Different Communication Styles and how people will read different implications and intentions into the same kinds of interactions or behaviors or whatever, it's just Funny(tm) when like. some nt ppl think their social/communication styles are what's Objective, Universal, Correct, Intuitive, Effective, etc. like they'll be like "it's Great to say what you mean instead of Playing Games" and think autistic people are blunt / rude & it's b/c they're communicating Wrong, like actually you guys are saying you love ppl who are Real & Honest while being that post like "i love drama i love games if you fuck with my friends i will help you do it" lmaooo

also yknow to an Extent i think that like. sometimes just being very independently Enthusiastic about something can seem fun to nt people lol like, yes i can monologue about something aloud for 5 or 10 or 80 minutes maybe, or just you know, talk about it to myself via Posting lmfao, and sometimes that appeals to people or they at least regard it Neutrally because it's like. supposing that sometimes even when it's not something someone else is also interested in, idk, people are down for a like, individual experiences of unfettered expression of that passion lmao, but like, ftr i would hate instances of this as like a "because being enthusiastic like that is," deep inhale, "cute" or whatever, like, if i'm gonna talk about something it's a Lecture okay lmao. and plus i do plenty of it via Text lmfao, so, not many times i get to in person talk about whatever, or it'll be like, look at this video of a cool bird. i do not need someone's like, Personal Affection to find it Cute or Wholesome that i'm passionate about birds, or, god knows, fine anything else Cute, an assessment i never need or want, engage w/the information being shared please lmao. and then also, you know, i Draw Things based on it being v Of Interest lol so that's like, thank you to myself for having these Thoughts i want to express about Things Of Interest, i get to have fun like, just focusing in on what Creative Project i wanna do about it lol even if it's also like, boy, what if i could just have the idea and it'd Manifest, and you know, drawing is a way i am Talking About Something, certainly also if i'm dropping a tags essay about it lmao.........love to just delve tf into things and have all these thoughts & things to say about it, and really like, Exceptional when anyone wants to engage with this like, repeatedly / regularly lol. shoutout, Thanks, Epic

and well you know. i don't have any incredible specifics coming to mind here but in whatever ways i might think of things Differently it's like, hell yeah then, epic of me, i will be out here Figuring Shit Out even if i have to marinate on things, i'm sure motivated to engage with stuff that's Of Interest to me, when i have these solid ways to communicate with other people it's fun and flexible lmao, and i think there's that fun of being like, Performative in a way, theatricality, which i think like, maybe a source of that can be when you Have to be aware of the "rules" of interactions / social performance, but also how yknow, you can Act any way, there's nothing universal, there's maybe plenty of bullshit involved, hence how you can Have to be at least somewhat aware of things because you have to try to figure out the Secret rules and patterns and you know, simply Being Yourself and Behaving Naturally at all times isn't an option.....def have the Theatre type Theatrical thing lmao, the "theatre gay ft religious parents, enjoying harmonizing in the church choir lol i'm a Tenor babey" experience lmao, being in 4th grade auditioning for this set of play scenes like oh i get to be the main Antagonist guy? also i'm playing a guy? also i'm in this play and have lines and stuff? Hell yes lmao. and the Stage Performance via eventual roles via dance classes, i remembered the other week the studio i used to be at Used to have this like, idk, thing where the older dancers in a certain group maybe used to have a trip to nyc, think that fell away not long before i was one of those more Skilled Dancers like damnit, never really went to nyc except driving in and out to pick people up from the airport, like hey that distant smudge out the car window is probably the statue of liberty or something.....but the rehearsing and playing a Part and being in shows was. a ton of fun. i Said No to Stage Fright lmfao and really enjoyed being backstage and rehearsals and etc. but also i think i just Can be theatrical you know, in my own social approach lmfao, i'm big on talking with my hands lmao and i can get like, some Social Momentum going that way, i can have some confidence and can sort of hit that groove and it's like, not exactly masking trying to act """"normal"""" but i'm still Being Myself in this more "acceptable" way that nt people might better Understand or whatever. i also just like, personally, i love to be kind of theatrically Funny for sure lmfao and like, if people are just like overwhelmed by the least amount of goofiness / can't or won't play along at all i'm like, Please, work with me here lol, also like damn you live like this??? cmon lol

and well, nonconclusion, but it's pretty difficult to think of things like, what do i Dislike about being autistic which isn't about the way allistic ppl treat you sucks, like, e.g., it'll be like damn augh oof Misophonia, aural texture hell, hardly fun but that's not always a disaster, and as long as i can like, do something to block it out, and if i have to be like "hm this is distressing me b/c this noise is really really pissing me off lmao" as long as you know, i'm not amongst people who are just going to be annoyed at me for making up some problem and/or daring to speak about this experience inconveniently. be normal maybe. idk i'm just like right on, Myself

[the-mad-starker]

Starker Smut: Now and Later

For @spooky-crybaby, based off this post. Hope it's okay 😭

 ... Omfg I just realized after looking at the post that you said AFTER. Not MID. Alskaldkalsk Gonna go yeet myself off a building.

Summary: Mid-battle fucking in Avengers: Endgame cause I apparently can't read properly or I'm just a real perv and read it the way I want. Double fail cause I went for all smut and ended up with 75% feels. Did it to myself though since they weren't established

Length: 4.7k

Note: first time, bit of an armor kink, feels, love confessions?, Multiple orgasm (on Peter's side), BJ, anal fingering

Notes2: Ignores canon pepperony.

Tags for ppl that asked to be tagged 

@x-we-won-mr-stark-x @the-bookster @tszuke

💗💗💗

The adrenaline was pumping through Tony's body. His brain worked overtime, calculating, reacting, dodging, planning. A million things passed through his mind, solutions and plans, coming, going. All part of the battle. There was no stopping, no moment to take a breath, just a constant state of react, react, react...

The battle was raging around them and Tony fired shot after shot from his gauntlet, bringing foes down left and right. No time to slow down, no time for anything until–

Tony was smacked aside, thrown into the air like a ragdoll. He made impact with rubble but he turned, firing at the enemy that was more than twice his size in height and mass. The thing was going to kill him, no doubt about it, but then it was yanked back, crushed beneath Scott's gigantic foot.

Peter...

The boy was babbling as he easily pulled Tony to his feet but for the first time since Tony returned to Earth, broken and only half a person, he could finally breathe. He didn't even care that his eyes burned or that Peter was wildly gesturing with his hands and staring at him, wide-eyed and so earnest.

If Tony was thinking right, he wouldn't have done what he did next. But he had been living in some half waking, half nightmare since Titan and he had been living as a bleeding wound since he saw Peter's smiling face beaming from the photo.

Tony kissed him.

Took the boy's face in his palms. He couldn't feel the heat of his skin but Peter's lips were warm and soft.

Fear of rejection hadn't even been a factor.

He shouldn't have done it, should've asked if it was okay but the emotions were all raw inside him. Not an excuse, but a reason or what he did.

As soon as Tony realized, he went to pull away but those same gentle hands that helped him up clamped down on his shoulders, keeping him in place. Then Peter was kissing him back, sloppy and unrefined.

Peter pressed too hard, too desperate like Tony was the one who would disappear if he let him go.

"Mr. Stark…" Peter said, breathless and in awe.

His brown eyes were gleaming, bright and alive, and so brilliant with hope.

"It's been five years," Tony croaked as though that explained it all. "I… I couldn't pretend anymore."

Peter's bottom lip trembled and he blushed so prettily, glancing away. His Adam's apple bobbed as he took in a shaky breath.

"You knew then…? How I… How I felt about you?" Peter asked shyly.

Tony nodded but he didn't regret his actions now. In the past, the regret had almost crushed him into oblivion but with Peter right in front of him, a second chance there in the curve of his shy smile, Tony couldn't regret.

"I'm sorry I didn't–" Tony began but Peter shut him up with another kiss, this one soft and gentle. Loving.

"It doesn't matter," Peter said firmly when he pulled away. "You want me now, right…?"

It was said with such hesitance that Tony couldn't help but pull him close, tip his face up so they were looking eye to eye.

"Always, kid," Tony admitted.

"Then… then… just… kiss me again…" Peter murmured but Tony was going to anyway.

How many kisses have they shared? It blew Tony's mind that the number was only three. Only three and yet, the way Peter lit him up inside was indescribable. Tony felt both invincible and vulnerable at the same time.

It was easy to forget what was going on around them. Peter took up all his focus and Friday was silent in his ear. Before today, having Peter in his arms like this was a faraway dream.

Who could blame him for getting lost in Peter's kisses? Who could blame him for holding the boy close? Tony's arms wrapped around a slim waist while Peter's fingers threaded through his hair.

The kiss was soft and gentle, full of emotion. It was an affirmation, a reassurance that the love was there. But somewhere between one second and another, it changed. It was such a subtle and natural change… Lips parting to let in a bit more, a caress, a touch becoming intimate and hungry… Excitement sparking in the pits of their bellies, turning love into fire.

Soft became urgent, gentle turned needy… Peter's fingers tightened, tugging on the roots as he instinctively tried to angle his face for more.

Tony grunted at the slight sting but it wasn't bad… It was… good, actually. It made his breath hitch and his cock pay attention, stimulated by the boy's closeness and the way he shuddered in Tony's arms.

He let it go on for too long and had to tear his mouth away, gasping ragged and wide-eyed at the boy he just admitted to loving. Peter's eyes were dark in that certain wicked way that encouraged Tony in all the best ways. It was good and bad. Good, because it sent such a thrill shooting through Tony's body. Bad because it had Peter licking his lips, luring Tony's gaze back to his soft mouth.

"Mr. Stark…" Peter murmured, then like a siren's call, "Tony…"

"Now's not the time," Tony tried to reason but Peter blinked those wide, beautiful eyes and nuzzled against his jaw.

"I can't help it… I've wanted you for so long…" Peter said softly, "I'm sorry…"

Tony's heart twisted and yet, he was ecstatic over Peter's reaction. It made him feel smug and maybe a bit arrogant that the boy's desire for him was so strong.

He shouldn't. Fuck– There was a battle going on around them. Screams and battle cries, the sound of weapons firing and roars sounding. And then, there was Peter… So warm and firm… so alive.

He shouldn't but he nosed along Peter's ear, teeth settling over an earlobe and tugging gently.

"You deserve better…" Tony told him, licking around the shell.

It was a mix of reactions because Tony's words were discouraging the route they were falling into but his actions only stroked the flames inside them both. Peter shuddered but didn't pull away, only tilting his neck so that Tony's hungry mouth could claim that pale stretch of skin.

"I don't want better," Peter protested harshly. "I want you."

"You can have me," Tony murmured, laying a kiss on his jawline.

Peter could sense Tony's resolve crumbling if it even existed at all and he went for it.

"Now? I want you now," he said, eyes dark and needy. The way his hips nudged against Tony's told the older man all he needed to know. It still excited him to hear Peter say it out loud.

"Please, Tony…" Peter groaned softly against his mouth, "I'm so hard… I can't– I can't fight like this…"

He pressed close to the older man and even with the armor separating them, it was intimate and sensual. It coaxed a stronger reaction from the older man whose arms held him close.

His own desires had been aroused and despite all logic screaming that it was a bad idea, Tony didn't give a damn. He was never a model poster boy for good ideas anyway.

The only thing holding him back was, ironically enough, Peter. He knew the boy was inexperienced and doing this here of all places was not ideal.

"Later, Pete," Tony promised, voice dark with promise. "You're not ready and I can't get you ready here."

Peter's eyes widened once more but he clung to the older man.

"Please, Mr. Stark," Peter encouraged, "I'm ready, just– Please…!"

He groaned, harsh and restrained, hands slipping to the boy's waist where he gripped him tight.

"You're not ready–" Tony growled, "I don't wanna hurt you."

"It's okay," Peter babbled, hands reaching back, nails scratching against metal and actually denting it. "It's okay… Please, I can take it..."

Then quietly, to the point where Tony would've missed it without the private comms between them, Peter mumbled, "I need you."

Tony's heart broke and he… God, he needed Peter too. Five years and he finally had his boy back.

"I need you, too," Tony choked out.

He kissed him again, desperate for affirmation.

Wrong place, wrong time. They should be home. They should be in the city, the tall buildings touching the sky or the green of the trees hiding them away in Central Park. They should be anywhere but here.

But this is what Tony got and he wasn't going to take it for granted. He didn't give a damn about where or when, just that Peter was with him.

"Friday, Karen, I need–"

"Got it, boss," Friday acknowledged, immediately. It was barely a few seconds when said returned with another response. "There's a structure about a hundred feet away. The fighting is less dense and I think– Yes, there."

With Friday and Karen in sync with their desires, it'd be easier for things to happen smoothly. They just needed a little privacy and Friday found the best spot. Tony didn't want to risk flying them out of there. Anything that took to the skies would catch either side's attention so Tony tugged Peter along.

Sharp brown eyes caught sight of designated  structure, walls and rubble supporting it from crashing down. It was a tiny little enclosure and Peter caught sight of it just as he did so they made a run for it.

As soon as they slipped out of sight, Tony had an armful of eager teen pressed against him. Their masks retracted automatically when Tony went to kiss him and oh– it was just as good as the first time.

They were both desperate for it and only allowed each other the bare minimum. Peter's gripped his hair, red gloved fingers sliding through the black and grey of Tony's hair.

With the battle still raging around them, they hungrily kissed like they were the only ones around. Tony could spend days just kissing Peter but there was no time.

The older man gripped him tight, running his hands all over and memorizing what he could even at that time. The nanotech slid away from Tony's wandering hands, allowing their creator to freely touch the body underneath. A lean body, slim waist, taut stomach… A perfectly round ass that he had thrown guilty glances at but had never dared to think of touching.

"Ah– Mr. Stark…" Peter groaned into his mouth.

Peter's hips jutted forward and the suit was in the way… Tony slipped a hand between them and the nanotech slid away as soon as his palm settled between Peter's legs.

The boy was hard and Tony wasted no time slipping Peter's cock through his boxers. His erection was exposed to the air with only Tony's gauntlet stroking it.

"Tony," the older man breathed into Peter's ear, "Call me Tony, kid. You did it before, you can do it again..."

"Had more… brain cells then," Peter moaned, "But mm… Tony… Please, that feels so… good… Like it when you… touch me..."

He was literally putty in his mentor's arms, dead weight that felt feather light with the suit helping the older man.

"Think you can come?" Tony groaned into his ear.

His own cock was aching too, pressed hard against the inside of his suit. Peter shook his head almost frantically.

"I–I c-can," he admitted miserably, "But please, sir– Tony, I want… want you in me…"

He buried his face in the crook of Tony's neck and continued his pleading even as his hips continued moving in fast, jerky thrusts.

"You make it so hard… to say no," Tony groaned.

He let go of the boy's cock, causing Peter to whimper. Peter didn't stop rutting against him though, his erection bobbing in the air between their bodies. Every jerk of his hips had his pretty pink cock rubbing over Tony's suit, smearing drops of precome all over the gleaming red and gold.

"Don't say no then," Peter grunted, "Just… fuck me… I can take it– Please, I… a-ahh… want to... "

The boy turned his face towards Tony's and the older man instinctively turned to look at him.

It was a trap.

As soon as their eyes locked, Tony couldn't look away. He couldn't deny how badly he needed Peter. Not later, but now. As fucked up as it was, he needed to be selfish for one damn minute…

Tony's heart was pounding so hard but he still brought his fingers to Peter's mouth. The nanites crawled away, circling around his wrist.

Peter's lips parted so sweetly for him, accepting his fingers with a shameless moan and a flutter of his eyelashes. Tony shuddered at the sensation of warmth and wetness… The boy's tongue lapped and licked around his fingers then sucked, covering the length of each one with his spit and saliva. All the while, Peter's brown eyes were hooded, a spark of excitement overshadowed by the sheer ecstasy he could see in there.

Tony was enchanted. Mesmerized.

Peter's light curls, a mess from the fighting, his kiss swollen lips wrapped around Tony's fingers… The look in his eyes. Nothing existed outside their bubble, not even when the ground beneath them trembled from the blasts surrounding them.

He sucked on Tony's fingers like it was his cock, greedy and slicking them up with wetness. Tony groaned with every pass of his tongue and his cock angrily twitched in his suit with every bit of suction Peter gave his fingers. The boy had such a greedy mouth and for all his inexperience, Tony knew it'd feel like heaven on him. Just the very thought had him groaning, imagining Peter's pink mouth full of his thick cock...

Peter wrapped a hand around Tony's wrist, pulling his wet fingers away. He started to lead them between his legs when Tony caught up with the program and took control.

As expected, the suit gave way and Tony found that tight little pucker between the boy's cheeks. Peter grew still against him, trembling in his arms at the first gentle touch.

"Do it…" Peter begged, so needy and just… perfect. He was beautiful in his desire.

With a growl, Tony pressed him forward until Peter's back met the wall. The boy gasped at the sudden move, instinctively grabbing into his mentor. All thought disappeared when Tony kissed him again, hungry and intent on distracting him.

It worked perfectly, the boy groaning into his mouth as their tongues slid, wet and sensual, against one another. The feeling of a wet fingertip nudging into him couldn't be ignored though but Tony tried. He used his lips and tongue to keep Peter's focus on him, kissing him senseless until the initial discomfort of being stretched faded. Soft, high pitched whimpers came from his trembling mouth as Tony worked him open.

The older man tried to be gentle but Peter encouraged him, rubbing against him in such a way that it only roused Tony's lust even more. By the time Tony added a second finger, much sooner than he wanted, Peter was murmuring against his mouth between kisses.

Begging to be fucked.

"Need it, Tony… Need it," Peter groaned, "Wanna feel it… Please… Always– Mm! Think about you when I… When I touch m-myself… P-please… please…"

Tony groaned, low and harsh. In the back of his mind, that tiny piece that wasn't going crazy with how much he wanted Peter, he worried he'd regret this. Not because being with Peter would ever be something regret, but the way it was happening… Rushed and definitely not the time…

But how could he regret ever loving Peter? The words fell from the boy's own lips, how desperately he wanted Tony while Tony could only show it through his actions. Through how much care he put into touching him despite Peter being more resilient than a normal human. Yeah, he'd work on verbalizing it later, maybe in the privacy of his bedroom with Peter tucked into his side, curtains drawn and the world shut out.

For now…

The armor retracted, just enough so that his heavy cock was exposed. Peter noticed, of course he did, but Tony's caught his hand in a firm grip just as he went to touch it. Felt Peter's fingers twitch even as the boy turned pleading eyes towards his soon to be lover.

"If you touch me now," Tony warned, "Might not get to the main event. So, if you want it– If you want me to fuck you, just let me…"

Words were failing, a truly rare occurrence but Peter got the message. It was almost adorable how wide his eyes grew.

"How are we…?" Peter asked, breathless with anticipation.

"I'll take care of it…" Tony murmured, using the other hand to lift one of Peter's legs. "Just focus on me, sweetheart…"

The position felt so intimate, their bodies pressed together, lips just inches apart.

"Okay…" Peter sighed, crossing the distance between them. He instinctively wrapped his arms around Tony's neck, his leg curling around the other's waist. He didn't even notice when Tony pinned him against the wall, bringing the other leg up so that both his legs were wrapped around him. He was just so easy to manhandle, so trusting that he let Tony do as he wanted.

Before putting it in, Tony used one hand to stroke his cock. The older man knew that he tended to leak a lot of precome and he was glad of the fact. But when he touched his cock, he had to groan at how wet it was. His cock was steadily dripping, fat drops of precome slipping from the slit.

"Ugh, baby…" Tony sighed as he jerked himself off, making sure to spread all the leaking precome over the length of his cock. "Got my cock dripping for you…"

Peter squirmed in his arms, legs twitching on either side of Tony's hips.

"Give it to me…" Peter moaned, begging so prettily, "I want it…"

"You'll get it," Tony promised, panting, "Gonna give you everything…"

He positioned the tip of his cock against Peter's twitching rim. Even more drops of precome gathered at the tip, wetting the boy's hole even as Tony leaned into Peter's space, kissing him breathless. He gasped into the older man's lips, eyes opening briefly because he wanted to look Tony in the eyes when it happened.

"Relax…" Tony murmured against Peter's lips.

His cockhead nudged against Peter's entrance, slick with spit fluid. Tony pushed in, the tip breeching Peter's body and popping in after some encouraging. The stretching had helped but it was barely enough compared to the thick girth of his cock. Peter's soft little mouth dropped into an "O" as he tried to breathe through the initial stretch.

"I can… I can feel you…" Peter groaned, struggling to keep his eyes open.

Tony, on the other hand, was trying his best to maintain control. To be good to the kid despite how good the little hole he was penetrating felt. The promise of tight, wet heat sucking him in was such a tempting one.

Peter's gaze held him steady. He watched, mesmerized, as Peter's expression grew taut with strain then slackened when Tony nudged his cock inside. A shaky, harsh breath then the boy's eyes rolled to the back of his head.

Worry was the first emotion that bloomed at the sight but Peter's soft lips parted and he moaned again.

"You okay, Pete…?" Tony trembled from the exertion.

The armor helped with keeping his arms from tiring. It was easy to keep Peter pressed against the wall, but it didn't help Tony keep from fucking right into the boy. Nope, that was all Tony and how badly he wanted to make it good for Peter.

"Perfect…" Peter hissed in reply.

It was obviously a lie, but Tony knew that until this was over, Peter would deny it. With Peter's legs tight around him, Tony turned his face towards his and kissed him again.

Slowly Peter's body relaxed and when it did, Tony inched his way inside. Peter broke the kiss and actually whimpered against his mouth, lips pressed into a firm line.

"It feels weird," Peter gasped, eyes squeezing shut now.

"I know, baby," Tony groaned, "I'll make it… feel good soon… Just gotta take it for me, okay? Mm… You can do that for me, right?"

"Want to…" Peter groaned, "Want all of it inside me… Please, d-don't stop… Fuck…"

Tony kept going, careful and attentive despite the urge to just fuck right in. He could feel sweat dripping down his neck, but all he cared about the boy trembling in his arms. He pushed every inch of his cock into Peter's tight, warm body and when his balls were pressed against Peter's ass, he paused.

He nuzzled against Peter's neck, mouthing at the sweat damp skin there. He focused on Peter's chest pressed against his own and the way his new lover was breathing, shallow and careful.

"It's not bad…" Peter whispered. Dewy, brown eyes peered at him through thick lashes. His lips trembled, trying to pull into a semblance of a smile. "I think… Think you can move. 'M okay… Just… full…"

Tony caressed the side of his face, kissing him sweetly.

"I'll make it feel good," Tony promised him.

"Do you feel… good…?" Peter asked, voice soft.

"So good…" Tony admitted with a groan. He started to pull out and Peter gasped, crying out at the sensation. The sound was lost, other cries of battle drowning it out.

"You're so good…" Tony told him, panting as he pushed back in.

"Tell me…." Peter begged, clinging to his mentor's words. Proof that he was making Tony feel good.

Tony groaned again, hands slipping down so that he had a handful of the boy's cheeks. He started to fuck in and out of his body, not quite rough but enough that Peter felt the way Tony pinned him to the wall. Felt the way Tony's cock left him achingly empty then full once he pushed back in.

"You feel so good, Pete…" Tony moaned, "So warm and tight…"

Peter felt so full, his previously virgin hole stretched tight over his mentor's cock. It felt… strange. Not bad, but strange. Tony's words and the way his face went slack with pleasure was what gave Peter pleasure.

Until a particular thrust had Tony's cockhead brushing against his sweet spot. Peter squeaked in response, eyes widening when he felt something… Not quite but… Almost…

Tony noticed the change, grinning in almost a feral way as he angled his next thrust so that it hit that spot dead on.

"Oh…!" Peter grunted when Tony got it right. This time, his entire body jolted, shuddering and clamping down even more on Tony's erection. It felt… felt incredible. "Oh! That's…!"

"Mm… There's your sweet spot…" Tony panted.

His grip tightened on the writhing body as Peter moaned and started to join in. He couldn't do much, pinned as he was, but he started to tighten his legs, pulling Tony's body closer so that his cock would keep pounding away at that spot.

"Oh, f-fuck…" Peter cried out.

His cock, which had previously gone soft during the first thrusts, was rock hard again. He whimpered when he felt it tapping against Tony's suit, once more staining the metal with fluid.

Tony made sure to keep fucking him just like that, aiming for that spot that made his boy scream and cry out. It was all drowned out, everyone was too busy around them to notice. It was almost embarrassing but with his prostate being constantly stimulated, Peter found himself coming on Tony's cock in no time.

"That's it…" Tony hissed into Peter's ear.

He hilted himself in deep, down to the very root so he could feel the way his boy milked his cock.

Peter's insides viciously locked down, his hole squeezing down and trying to wring Tony's orgasm right out of him. It was so tight and sweet, Peter almost succeeded but Tony just groaned and then started to thrust again.

Peter only took a moment to recover and then he was groaning into Tony's ear. He was sated and his cock was softening. Stripes of white decorated Tony's Iron Man suit, Peter's come being smeared as the older man kept fucking into him.

His hole felt fucked loose with Tony's cock still plunging in and out of him.

"Keep fucking me…" Peter moaned, sharing wet, hungry kisses with the older man. "Want you to come inside… Please, come… Come in me…"

"Oh, fuck, baby…" Tony groaned.

With things so rushed, the older man was going to come outside, just in case. But now… Now his thrusts grew hurried and frenzied. The ultimate goal was to fill Peter up with his come, claim him from the inside out.

"Gonna come inside…" Tony panted, "Fill you up with my come…"

Tony knew he wouldn't last long, but he didn't expect the wall they were using to start to shake and move. Quickly, he hauled Peter into his arms and away from the wall. He was so close though, so close…

So even then, he continued to bounce Peter on his cock.

"Mm!" Peter moaned, easily adapting to the change.

Now that he wasn't pinned, he fully participated, rolling his hips and letting gravity help in their fucking. It was good being Spiderman in that he was able to stick his hands to Tony's armor and that made bouncing on Tony's erect cock so much easier… Made it easier to control too, so it wasn't a surprise when he continued to constantly stimulate that sweet spot inside him.

"Fuck, kid…" Tony grunted, "I'm… fuck…"

He shoved Peter's hips down, sheathing as much of his erection into the boy's fucked open hole. With a groan, he came, pumping a nice, thick load into Peter's insides.

Peter moaned at the feeling, warmth and the violent twitching of Tony's cock. He tried grinding down on it, whimpering as his sensitive insides were flooded with the man's seed.

Tony's legs felt weak by the time he was done. The good thing about having the suit was that he could lock the nanites in place and basically let the suit hold him up. He gently lowered Peter's legs to the ground.

His lover clung to him though and when Tony looked down, he realized why. Peter was hard again and he blushed heavily when he saw Tony looking.

"It was really good…?" Peter murmured, "You don't have to…"

Of course, Tony had to. More importantly, he wanted to.

Fortunately, the wall hadn't collapsed so he was able to push Peter back against the wall. He dropped to his knees, engulfing the boy's pink cock in his mouth. Peter cried out, immediately pushing into Tony's mouth, babbling about how it felt good and how he's never had a blow job before…

It didn't take long to have Peter come a second time. Tony sucked him off and fingered his freshly fucked hole, using his own come to slick his fingers and play with that spot Peter loved so much.

It was a much shorter afrair and by the end of it all, Peter was a whimpering mess, shooting down Tony's throat with a soft cry. He slid down the wall, recuperating when they were interrupted.

One of Thanos' minions crashed into the outside of the structure and the nanites automatically engaged, covering them both entirely in the suits.

The fighting resumed as though they never left, enemies pouring in and comrades engaging to counteract.

"Where the hell were you guys?" Clint demanded on the shared comms.

"Had a situation," Tony immediately answered. "It was handled."

"What–" Cursing on Clint's side before it cut off.

Tony smirked in his helmet, shooting Peter a smile despite the mask covering it.

"Lucky it didn't happen sooner," Tony remarked to Peter as they fought side by side.

"I'll take what I can get," Peter grunted as stole an enemy's weapon with a flick of his wrist and some webbing.

"Me too," Tony murmured. "We'll have time for more later."

"...Promise…?" Peter asked softly.

"Promise."

After the battle, after Thanos and his forces were turned to ash, Tony was teleported to Dr. Cho. Peter fretted and worried, almost crying himself sick until a pale Steve Rogers exited the emergency room after donating his own blood.

Tony and Peter got their later, years and years of later. In the city. In their home. It didn't matter where, they were together.

[psycho-slytherin]

Strangers ch. 34

Yoongi finds your phone– and so does someone else...

Pairing: Yoongi x (female) Reader

Word count: 1.8k

Genre: fluff, angst

|mlist|

<–– Prev   Next ––>

You force a laugh. “What are you talking about?”

“Don’t lie to me, y/n,” Yoongi says softly, his voice a knife in your back. “These– Jesus.” He exhales sharply as your phone buzzes again, again, again. You would’ve turned your notifications off months ago, but you need Twitter for your jobs. “How long has it been like this?”

@satanhasaholdoffrance: hey @yourname make like a tree and die

@queenynuwu: I hope y/n knows we love her!! <3 @yourname

@gummyyoongi: has anyone found @yourname‘s address yet?

“I don’t know what you mean,” you reply stubbornly. You don’t want your weight on Yoongi’s shoulders, not when you know he’ll blame himself.

“Bullshit. You said this wasn’t happening! You told me that my fans weren’t coming after you.”

“And you never checked,” you reply, your throat tight. “You know what I am. I’m a liar. And you trusted me– that’s your mistake.”

Yoongi flinches. “I know you don’t mean that.”

You begin trembling, your hands and arms and shoulders tensing against your will. “You shouldn’t trust me, Yoongi.” I’ve kept too many secrets from you.

“Well, I do trust you. I know you too well, y/n, and you don’t mean that. But this?” He taps your phone. “This is messed up.”

You take a step back, shrinking into yourself. “I-I’m sorry.”

“What? No. Why are you apologizing?” Yoongi gets up and walks towards you, his eyes intense. “My fans– the stuff they’re saying– that’s what’s messed up. And y/n, I’m so, so sorry this happened. You don’t deserve it.”

“I, uh...” you mumble, confused. Why isn’t he angry at you? You lied to him, again and again and again. “Sorry...”

Yoongi sighs, a smile playing at the corner of his mouth. “What are you even apologizing for?”

“I don’t know!” You cry. “I thought you’d be mad at me!”

“I’m not mad at you, y/n-ie.” Yoongi raises his arm and brushes a loose strand of hair out of your face. “I’m just worried. The comments you’re getting, the haters... they’re too much for anyone.”

Your mind drifts to the nightmares, the thoughts that your hate comments have inspired within you.

Yoongi’s gaze darkens, but he’s not looking at you– he’s staring far off, at something beyond. “I’ve seen idols, trainees– friends– that internalized those things, and they didn’t see an escape... no one is equipped to deal with this shit alone, no one.” Yoongi swallows, and his voice wavers. “So don’t try, y/n. You’re not alone, and I can’t lose you.”

You blink hard before drawing back and punching Yoongi in the arm.

“Ow!” Yoongi yelps, rubbing his arm. “What the hell?”

“That’s for being dramatic,” you say, using all your willpower to keep your voice light. “And this–” you poke him in the ribs– “is for being selfish. I don’t wanna lose me either, nerd. It’s not all about you.”

“Sorry, sorry,” Yoongi laughs. “My bad, I almost forgot that you’re a force to be reckoned with.”

“Just don’t let it happen again,” you sniff haughtily.

“I won’t, promise. Hey, do you need a lift to your next job?”

“Nah, I’ll take the bus. I’m not famous like you,” you reply. Besides, you want to be alone with your thoughts.

“Suit yourself. I have to go to the studio anyways.”

“Another BTS comeback already?” You muse, and Yoongi winks.

“Nope.”

~~~

Once Yoongi leaves, you wriggle into another sweater and shrug your coat on over it. You can’t help but feel chilly lately, and you can’t afford to get a cold.

You leave your apartment building and quickly walk towards the bus stop. Your afternoon will be spent on a photoshoot for a new makeup line, and Lisa said you’d be able to keep some of the merchandise.

You adjust your face mask and pop in your earphones, your mind a whirling dervish of thoughts. You imagined Yoongi would be furious– after all, you’d promised no more secrets. You couldn’t help but keep your Twitter mess to yourself, because you didn’t want your friend to stress about it.

Friend... the word seems strange to you, almost wrong.

Well, we’re ‘dating’ now, you think, so I guess he’s my fake-boyfriend instead.

It’s weird; for years you were completely in love with Yoongi, besotted with his face and voice and laugh and lyrics. His shy, goofy nature. His irresistible charm. You remember when you and Lisa would scream together at every new music video, each concept photo, any hint or clue or theory. It seems so long ago now.

Speaking of Lisa... your phone begins buzzing with a call from your manager/friend.

“Y/n, darling, how are you doing? How’s the leg?”

“All healed up now,” you reply, flexing and unflexing your left leg. You lost a lot of blood, but your injury missed all the arteries and important stuff.

“Great. Hey, I lined up a job, it’s yours for the taking if you’re interested. They need an extra in a cologne commercial, it should only be a two-day shoot and we can plan around Moon Over The Sea. What do you think?”

“Yeah, sounds good,” you murmur absentmindedly. “How much does it pay?”

“Pretty well, your cut would be only a little less than you’re making on the makeup shoot today.”

“Alright, sign me up.”

“Great. And... how’s it going with Yoongi?”

You jolt. “What?”

“C’mon, y/n, you can’t expect me not to ask. You’re dating your idol!”

“I-I’m not, really...”

“Oh, shush. It’s official, isn’t it? BigHit confirmed it last week. I can’t believe you didn’t tell me you were together!”

You grit your teeth– you have to tell her the truth. “Lisa, seriously, it’s not real.”

“I know, I bet it totally feels like a fairy tale, huh? I’m so jealous.” Lisa’s voice gets quieter, pouty. “We have to hang out soon, it’s been ages since we’ve had a proper gossip sesh!”

“But...”

“No buts! I’m ordering you as your manager to hang out with your best friend... who is also your manager... who is also me.”

You can’t help but laugh. “Yes ma’am, just pencil me in.”

“Will do! See you soon.”

“See ya.

Humming to yourself, you continue your bus ride, arriving at the studio a few minutes early. A fashionable young man strides up to you bearing shorts and a shirt.

“Ah, you’re here. L/n y/n, right? Perfect, perfect, put these on and we’ll get you straight into hair and makeup.”

“Uhh...” you examine the outfit he gave you. “Are you sure this is for me?”

“Of course I am, what are you talking about?”

“It’s black, these shorts are made of leather, and...” you trail off, gulping. “It’s all very tight.” That’s right, clothes like these will only hug the curves you don’t have. You’re not a sex icon like some of the female idols you’ve seen Yoongi with on TV. You know as someone in the entertainment industry, you’re supposed to be fashionable– but you’re too much a fan of oversized sweaters and soft pants to let them go. “I don’t know if this outfit suits me.”

“Nonsense, you’re beautiful– you just need the confidence! Besides, you’re gonna have to get used to this type of stuff if you want to get anywhere in your career,” the man chuckles. “Changing room is over there. When you’re ready, head to hair and makeup.”

“R-right,” you mumble, taking the clothes. They look so cold, you shiver just thinking about putting them on.

Ten minutes later, you stare at yourself in the mirror. Staring back at you seems to be a child, a little girl who doesn’t belong, who can barely fill out the tight crop top or shorts. And you’re supposed to be dating Yoongi? You don’t know if you want to laugh or cry. Yoongi deserves better, someone prettier, smarter, who looks like they belong at his side. In your mind’s eye, you can see Yoongi next to you in the mirror– black-haired, a brow raised, his mouth quirking upwards in a lazy smirk. He looks like a prince, a god, and you look like you’re playing dress-up next to him. No wonder so many people are upset; you’re doing Yoongi no favors by being with him.

You sigh and shake your head. You’re cold, so cold, and you hate it. You turn away from the mirror to get your hair and makeup done.

“Okay, can you give me a little lip bite? Something cheeky? Oh, perfect! Yes, hold like that!” The camera flashes while you sit frozen in place. “Cross your legs now, hold the lipstick closer to your face... can you give me bedroom eyes?”

Face flushed, you lower your lashes and pout your lips like you’ve seen real models do, and the camera flashes again and again. The lipstick you’ve got on is a brighter red than you’ve ever dared to wear, and combined with the outfit and your bold eyeliner, you look a little edgy.

“Great, y/n, you’re doing wonderfully. We need one more photo for the spread...” the photographer looks around the photo studio, which is a rather minimalist set. “Can someone get me that chair? Y/n, sit on it backwards and try for a smirk– like an ‘I’m-better-than-you’ face.”

But I’m not. Still you try, channeling your inner Seokjin as you fix the camera with your best downward stare, and then half smiling as though you’ve got a secret– which you do, too many to count. Half a dozen shots later, you’re dismissed with the promise that the money will be wired to your account by Friday.

The next morning, you wake up to the familiar buzzing of your notifications, again and again and again. You haven’t overslept, have you? No, your clock informs you that it’s not even six AM. You groan and flip your phone over to read your new mentions.

@beautyoftheseoul: Check out our new line of matte lipsticks, modeled by #MoonOverTheSea’s @yourname!

@chimyoongles: Omg @2460sunshine did you see that @yourname liked a yoongi thirst tweet? Lmaooo I’m dying she’s rly all of us

@scarletwitchisjunghoseok: I think I love @yourname now that she’s exposed herself as an army lololol

@captainkookie21: why are ppl stanning @yourname for her fuckup lol it just goes to show what a liar and a slut she is.

You blink sleepily. You liked a tweet about Yoongi? You’ve been careful about doing that ever since you became a public figure, in case Yoongi noticed. You tap through your likes and gasp:

@slutfordionysus: rt if you want Suga to crush you between his thighs, like if you want him to use his tongue technology on you ;)

Oh, fuck. You never liked that. You’ve never even seen that tweet. Which means... you’ve been hacked?

[96xie]

2019

a whole summary of this difficult year

2019 was full of unexpected good and bad surprises along with lessons and experiences.

january

spent good time with mocha, wayo and brian

had such a good time with guildies from our game

met up with some other ppl from the same game and didnt feel too good bc i was never good with crowds and/or groups that were already well established

tried tinder for the first time because i thought it would be nice to put myself out there for once

feburary

continued my tinder journey and actually had fun with it. it was pretty scary at the same time because it was such a new experience talking to other people and to have them notice you? because i always knew and felt that i wasnt really the desirable one.

actually hooked up with a guy from last months meetup and hung out twice. thought it was going somewhere because he, too, showed signs to progress further ((was wrong because he lied and showed red flags later))

one major red sign to me: no response after genuinely saying thank you for rides and dinner. im the type of person who always says thank you because im honestly grateful for the little and big things. he basically shrugged it off.

also, a huge liar. yah, big no

i brought him to my friends birthday bc they and himself wanted to meet each other, it was fun while it lasted but stuff happened

towards the end of the month, i cut my ties off with him for being awfully mean to me and also cut ties with my “friends” for having really bad assumptions of me.

i was frustrated with myself at that time bc his cats gave me a bad breakout and i felt super ugly. also i wasnt sad over him, but over the fact that i let myself be treated like a second option. eventually i learned that it was good that i didnt let things go further and that i only deserve the very best.

even though i was hurt, i thought it was a good experience, esp since i havent really been in the “dating game” for years. like it was a just a small step to putting myself out there once again

a week later after that a classmate asked me out and got tons of compliments from him and wondered “the universe really works in crazy ways”

march

met some cool people through the same mobile game on a discord server and they were much better than the first group.

also met this really funny dude in the same group. like he was so fun to talk to and he understood my dumb lingo

remember when my classmate asked me out on a date? it turned out a bit weird. but considering this was my first date in YEARS i thought it was a cool experience. got some carne asada fries outta him

i had the dude i was talking to call me so i could leave the date tho LOL ((he helped me lots, esp how to deal with awkward situations with my classmate. also at this point, i really liked talking to him but i wasnt rly sure if i wanted to date other guys bc i had been hurt previously)

this month was pretty much dedicating most of my time talking to him and i enjoyed it alot

also went to pubs for the first time to hangout with my coworkers. such an interesting place

april

tried rollerskating for the first time ever, ended up with a bunch of bruises but it was cool!

also tried 7leaves for the first time and instantly fell in love with mungbean

also went clubbing in sf with my friends and it was such a fun time like i had SO much fun

i got auctioned off of SAD! that phase was just a crazy ride. while there was many that dm’d me, there was only one special person that i only replied to and continued to talk to him on a daily basis

((honestly, i was scared that i was taking things a bit further with him because a part of me was like “are you ready for this?” and “have you really recovered from that guy?” or “can you give this guy your all?” just alot of overthinking))

spent 4/20 at sf with my friends, and overall had a GREAT time. took too many hits and drank so ya gorl was crossfaded. not sure if i wanna do tht again tho

unfortunately woke up with a swollen face and it lasted for a LONG time.

may

so my face is still swollen, still bad, red as a tomato and at this point i was really hesitant to meet up with the guy ive been talking to. i mean!! my skin was SO bad. i felt like i was gonna make a fool out of myself by scaring him away

but,,,, he was still willing to see me despite my appearance and : ( he was so accepting and typing this makes my heart ache bc he is SUCH a good man : (

i met up with the guy towards the end of the month in sj and first thing he does when i walk up to him is give me this great warm hug and so many smooches !!!!!!! like my heart is melting

eventually we became official !!! he got us an airbnb for the night and we jus spent time cuddling on the bed and honestly i : ( i like him so much

june

my birthday wasnt rly that like “wow” it was actually kinda annoying

my bf flew up to sf where we met up, explored the city and slept the night in at an airbnb. next day went to oakland where i introduced my friends to him!

went to my first festival with several with my friends, including ppl from our same guild from our game and it was SO fun

rolled for the first time and it was SUCH an experience. redosed like twice and ended up hallucinating which is something ill def not do again

also i really wished my bf was with me at that time : ( while i had an extremely fun time, i wish i shared that moment with him : (

july

went to vegas for my cousins 22nd bday. shit was wild

also rolled there.

also threw up for the very first time

a fight broke out at the club and that shit was fuckgin CRAZY and it was RIGHT next to our table

also used alot of my money for the whole trip in which nobody really told me about so …. i was like ok.. fuck …

also my skin was still bad during these past months so it was pretty hard masking it

like really hard. with someone with terrible eczema, its just extremely hard to hide it

august

bf flew to sac!!! he met my mom for the first time and we explored the city and stuff

and went on an ikea date! and! honestly i just really loved spending time with him :c

we also spent time with my friends! they came over also! and ate some fuckgin bomb ass waffles

and then took bus down to la to meetup with some friends from our guild towards the end of the month!

it was pretty nice to be able to stay with my bf in his apartment !!!!!

also some scalding tea but thats rly for another time

to make it super short tho: our friend that we’ve known much longer than the girl he met (less than 3 months) dropped our friendship SO quick lol

september

cousin bonding @ beach, too cold for tht doe

towards the end of the month, my bf flew me down!!! so i spent the weekend with him and like always, only had a good time with him!

AND ALWAYS EATING GOOD FOOD!

october

during this fall semester, i took online classes and one of them was a 8week class. there was a topic about mental health and how we can take care of ourselves better and i just thought it was such an important thing to cover. i feel like its not talked about enough

november

spent thanksgiving with my family down in morgan hill and ate good food! honey ham has a special place in my heart.

went black friday shopping first at walmart, lowkey disappointed in myself because i was bummed out the apple watches were sold out. the materialistic part of me jumped out oof

slept at my cousins then went to the mall! didnt get anything besides really good bulgogi fries. i hated going into stores tho cuz everything was literally crowded. hated it !!!!!!!

went to a small festival in sacramento with my friends at the end of the month and this time is 7 of us (than the usual 5)! it was sososo fun.

also took my coworker with me, it was actually amusing to see bc our group were all asian and he’s the only tall white guy

made hotpot at home and we also went out for milktea and waffles again! sooo good.

december

flew down to see my bf again and only had a good time! went to this garden with beautiful lights and ! ugh! SO pretty!

cried in his bed before my flight back, cried on the plane, cried at home and cried before i slept. i miss him

also racked up alot of hours so i could pay for my tuition and my family’s bills. kinda sucks bc im pretty tired but i gotta do what do i gotta do.

christmas was a bit lonely bc my mom went to the philippines and i dont rly talk to my brother but my kuya came the next day and we ate n watched stuff

overall, it was a whacky year. but im so glad to have met ed. he means SO much to me. a part of me was so hesitant to date him because i mean, he’s man with his life set. i dont have a car, im still in school, i have this part time job where im giving my mom all my paychecks and which the only money im keeping is just my tips (not much), i still have issues with myself and other conflicts and honestly theres much to do, learn and grow from. but he’s so supportive, understanding and loving and i love and appreciate him from the bottom of my heart. most of the time i wonder if im doing and if im being enough for him. i worry about that alot but he’s so patient with me. i laugh alot when im with him and i feel so happy.

did i mention that we are long distance? him being in la and me in sacramento. so the only thing thats connecting us is facetime. maybe once every two months will i see him in person but yep. when i had my first panic attack, i really wanted him right next to me. at that moment i felt even more sad because of course you’re gonna want you’re significant other during a moment like that. but anyways, i always miss him and i always want him next to me and i always love him. i want to hurry up and get my education done with so i can be with him. not to sound like omg im so madly infatuated with him type of thing tho. he’s someone who understands me and knows how to love me.

i hope 2020 treats me well despite all the challenges ahead of me.

[keepyourpantsongohan]

Ayesha Liveblogs Naruto Shippuden S20 (Pt. 4)

Hashirama’s “:O” face at everything is so endearing

Hagoromo is now really the time for a family story there are three children and a sad old man in need

“It was a few thousand years ago” Zetsu just said it was 1,000 years ago how bad are you guys at telling time 

I wonder how Hashirama feels about Madara being his Soulmate™

“I want make sure [the Tailed Beasts] don’t fight amongst each other, and that people don’t use their powers for evil” better 2 have tried and failed I guess 

“That’s because a toad’s dream is destiny” weird flex but ok

“So then, will everything I do now be meaningless?” “Don’t waste your time worrying” Ffgkjhfgkjh damn I didn’t ask for a lecture on fatalism in my Naruto liveblog

Lmao @ this dude revealing his thievery scheme after talking to Hagoromo for 0.5 seconds what makes him think everyone will be on board with it 

“I only want you to go away as soon as possible” ah looks like Hagoromo made a friend lmao 

“If we make it too sturdy, you’ll break your bones when you try to destroy it” they actually did a really good job of making Hagoromo charming like consider me charmed I wanna hear abt ur ninja way

Hahahah I admire Futami for not bringing up the horns for the entire length of time it took them to build the bridge 

Futami: Hagoromo-sensei gave me a high-five one time and it touched my heart so I formed a cult around him

Wait if Hagoromo only gave 8 disciples chakra are the nine of them together responsible for fathering all the shinobi world what kind of Gengis Khan fuckery

Minus the Hyuga, who, for some reason are moon aliens, I guess

“Throughout this long history men appeared, one after another, with the desire to use the tailed beasts for their own evil purposes. And that turned the tailed beasts against mankind. Anyway, back to my story.” Hahahaha did Hagoromo just go “(A/N: Fuck Obito and Madara lol)”

Unbelievable you’re telling me there was someone who wanted to get with this old man with horns and three eyes who leads a cult and you won’t show me WHO where is the justice 

OH HEY FUTAMI HELPING RAISE THE KIDS I GUESS? WILD

Mmmm I love Ashura already 1000/10 endearing impulsive baby

Some filler storyboard artist who I respect beyond reason: But what if... we added.... a dog

“It might even be bigger than yours” please don’t tell me they fished Zetsu out of the river

"I didn’t realize you thought so deeply about [chakra being used as a weapon]” “Yeah, well” “But then again, what will be, will be” what kind of parenting is this Hagoromo kjhgkjhgkjhg

Indra, 10 years old: I am concerned about the ethical impact of my innovation

Hagoromo: YOLO, son ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

“I’ll be watching you” Is that the voice of......... Pubescent Zetsu 

LMAO IT IS

These kids are really emotionally unprepared for the boar considering they were following boar tracks into the woods 

ARE YOU SHITTING ME THEY EVEN USED THE SAME FILLER DOG NAME LMAO WHO IS WRITING THIS 

I CANNOT BELIEVE THEY KILLED THE DOG I’M SO MAD

Wow @ them having Indra invent chidori instead hkjhgkhg poor Kakashi

Indra awoke his sharingan over losing his dog I cannot believe this how are dogs the central plot device of multiple arcs

“Whatever is in this village belongs to everyone - that’s the law” wow along with fatalism this arc is also teaching us about the practical failings of communism 

“The law is still the law” where’s the post that says Sasuke is ethnically a cop. Because that’s this arc

Not 2 be that gal again but Indra’s voice is also nice on the ears he has inherited his grandmother’s kekkei genkai of having an attractive voice and a terrible moral compass

...............kekkei grandma 

“Looking into his eyes reminds me of my mother’s eyes” I was kind of joking about the kekkei grandma thing but fair

“At that moment I felt that I understood for the first time why heaven had blessed me with two sons” have you ever considered your eldest son is mean in part because you make comments like this 

“What will the two of you do when you are out in the world alone” wow Hagoromo is giving his kids some kind of High-Stakes Bell Test 

Hahaha I like Taizo I hope they don’t do anything to him but they probably will because he’s had so much screen time

HAHAHAHA I LOVE THIS SQUAD it’s the first ninja team and the boy is the healer!!!

Ashura: OH NO I’VE FORGOTTEN HOW TO GENJUTSU

Kanna and Taizo: WE GOT U BUDDY WE GOT BATS

I thought I was going bananas for a sec but the intro did change lol 

Poor Tenzo I think he’s been officially discarded from OPs RIP

Side note: Having a Naruto blog has made me so wary of Kakashi and Sakura standing next to each other I don’t trust the ppl on this website to be normal for a second RIP x2

“They’ll suffer, sure, but everyone dies eventually” okay calm down Taizo

“It doesn’t matter whether it’s possible or not, because I’ve decided to do it” I admire Ashura’s blind optimism lmao

Not to poke too many holes but why would the water in the well not be affected by the Divine Tree

I take my comment about healing back ludicrously all the men get to display chakra natures and the women can only display glowing yin chakra hands booooo

Omg there is a Tenzo after all in an ED at least!! This is the first time I’ve seen all three members of the Naruto’s Dad Association in one place!!! Bless up

A shot of them standing all together!!!! My heart!!!!!!!!

SASUKE AND NARUTO’S GRINS AT EACH OTHER I WEEEP

[Hagoromo as Kakashi voice]: TEAMWORK!!

I was very much expecting Indra to go crazy and kill those two guys but wow that was a scene

“Enough to make you fall in love with him and follow him all the way here” At least Ashura gets like a real wife instead of Hagoromo’s ‘ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ she dead’

Hagoromo: Indra’s a dick because his eyes are red trust me it has nothing to do with my parenting I’m a chakra scientist

“Indra, just what is the meaning of this” it’s a temper tantrum lmao

Was it really necessary to kill both of those guys Indra one best friend death usually suffices for mangekyo my dude

Minato joining Kakashi in the club of Boyz Who Jutsu Was Plagiarized

Hagoromo really has absolutely zero hesitation to attack his son and you wonder why Indra has a complex

“THIS IS THE POWER OF OUR BOOOOOND” he said, as he punched his brother in the face with a thousand wooden hands (mood)

Indra’s Lightning Teleportation Jutsu is really doing The Most the Raikage is not nearly this dramatic about it 

Can you... just.... declare that your soul will be reincarnated? Is that how that works? 

Also. Who slept with Indra?! U made him out to be like. Very Not Okay. But he’s the forefather of the Uchiha?? WHERE ARE THESE CHILDREN COMING FROM TELL ME WHO IS BANGING THIS OUT OF CONTROL FAMILY

Hahahahaha I’M SO READY FOR THIS RIDICULOUS TEAM 7 TRYING TO UNMASK KAKASHI EPISODE BRING IT THE FUCK ON

I knew the Sukea voice would be different but omg I’m still thrown

“S-kay-a” is really not how I thought that would be pronounced wow 

“If I’m able to capture this Kakashi guy without a mask on, it’ll be the biggest scoop since the Leaf was established” a little arrogant Kakashi but okay kjhgkjhgkjhgjhg

This is such an adorable and weird bonding exercise of Kakashi teaching his kids how to break into Konoha’s archives I’M WHEEZING

I would pay money to see Kakashi explain what he was doing to all those dudes in ANBU who probably thought he was intimidating as all fuck catching him a wig with three twelve-year-olds breaking into his own file

“Who cares what I look like anyway!” THIS IS SO DUMB I LOOOOVE IT

“I think that a woman might’ve drowned right over there on the river bank” HINATA!!!!! UR TOO NICE TO BE ENLISTED INTO THIS SCHEMING HAHAHA

Oh I remember seeing reference to this scene booooo do they really have to make it weird all the time

This concept is even MORE ridiculous in the show bc it expands beyond Team 7 to all the other Konoha rookies like Kakashi how much do u enjoy teasing the children that this is how you’re spending your day

HAHAHAH Kakashi is lucky that the person who knows him best has face blindness and can’t call him out for his schemes 

Okay not to betray my own brand but ᵏᵏᵍᵃᶦ ᶜᵘᵗᵉ

They really designed a nicer apartment for Kakashi just so they could animate his silhouette in the shower STUDIO PIERROT PLEASE

Fhkjhkjfhkjhkf that last scene made me so uncomfortable I don’t really like seeing Kakashi’s mouth while he talks it’s weird

You know I spent a lot of this interlude chanting main arc main arc in my head but alas now that we have arrived I’ve remembered that the war arc climax is a mess

“If my chakra runs out, I’m done” seriously Obito.......... how are you here

Can you imagine if Naruto actually died.... what would that even mean for this series I can’t imagine 

“I already marked this space, so I can hide out in my time-space” I want to know how Obito “marks a space” is it like a jutsu or does he just have to nod at it and go “my space now”

 I would also pay money to see what Obito and Sakura talked about when they had to hang out in Kamui for a solid two minutes lmao 

“So you’re friends with sensei huh?” “Yeah it’s complicated but I think we’re cool now” “Yeah, same with us and Sasuke” “Sorry about that” “I don’t forgive you but thanks”

“You alright?” define ‘alright’ but also Obito’s never been alright a day in his life, Sakura 

Uh oh foreshadowing to the heavy gravity space where Obito d*es

Okay maybe this is the part of me that is still clings to their Part I friendship but Sasuke helping Sakura stand really brings out my inner soft bitch

 “It would’ve been helpful if we could’ve received this advice a bit earlier” Tobirama’s bitter about sitting through five episodes of filler

Tobirama: Why haven’t u been helping this whole time

Hagoromo: It all comes down to Madara’s magic pelvis—

“This man lent me his power and that’s why we were able to get here” does Sakura not know Obito’s name either khgkjhgjkgh

How many times will we watch these same two flashbacks of Obito’s life

Looks like Kakashi brought a knife to a taijutsu fight LMAO

God Rin is such a good friend to Obito and he repays her by literally defacing her grave 

“Am I powerless to do anything but sit here and watch” it’s not really your fault you can’t fly Kakashi tho u could try throwing some kunai or smth ur not a one sharingan pony

Ddkjhsdkjhd why does Obito get a line worrying about Naruto’s death but Kakashi doesn’t he’s spent the past two days trying to kill Naruto

I’m still emo abt Kakashi trying to die for Sasuke that’s his soooon

“Rin... this time, let’s spend some alone time together, just you and me” Why phrase it like that, Obito

"Why save someone useless like me” Kakashi get some therapy

“A fool full of only mistakes” it’s hard to disagree with Zetsu when they’re flashing back to every mistake Obito has ever made

Where’s the graphics set where Obito goes ‘admittedly I lost my cool here’ because that’s what that flashback was 

Update: found it

“Don’t cry, Obito, you’ll just get laughed at” this fantasy is an indication that Obito has no real comprehension of how fucked up Kakashi was by Rin’s death

Can you believe that Rin still dies in Obito’s jonin AU like....what. It’s not even like “AU of what I want” it’s like “AU where I learn how to cope with trauma” 

Also was this just an out for not designing an adult Rin bc he’s been thinking about Rin endlessly for like three episodes straight so..... what up with that

It’s still so fucking funny that Iruka’s in Obito’s jonin fantasy like when did they meet did he just absorb secondhand Iruka appreciation from Naruto 

“But, if you screw up, I won’t hesitate to step up as a candidate for Hokage myself” yesssssssss let Kakashi be the playful menace he truly aspires to be

Gjghjkhgjhg Obito’s “euuuuuuuuehhhh” when the paperwork dropped was funny

Sasuke’s face when Sakura punched Naruto was also v funny 

Honestly to be real for a second Obito imagining himself as buddies with Team 7 makes me mad u’ve done nothing but make these kids’ life TERRIBLE until today babysitting license REVOKED!!!!!!

Am I a hypocrite for enjoying AUs ft. Obito? Mayhaps!!!

“You told me that saving you was pretty much the same as saving the whole world, remember?” (Well.)

“I’d say, you did your best” You know that post that said it makes sense that Rin said this bc she’s a Scorpio. I’m still upset about it

You know... Naruto’s “the coolest guy” (“nothing but awesome”) comment about Obito is a direct parallel to “Bravest man I ever knew” in HP and that’s why, if I were to meet either adult man, I would dropkick both of them. In this essay I will—

“It’s kind of annoying seeing [Kakashi] all stiff and useless” u right Obito

Kishimoto pick up the phone I just want to talk about that rabbit bijuu design 

“A Susano’o? But whose?” DAD’S HEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRE

Kakashi with Six Paths Power REALLY feeds into my theory that Kakashi is Hagoromo’s transmigrant 

THAT’S MY TEAM READY TO SAVE THE WORLD TOGETHER!!!!!

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 KAKASHI GETS HER VULNERABLE AND THEN THE BOYS ATTACK WHILE KAKASHI GUARDS THEIR BACKS AND SAKURA FORCES HER INTO PLACE THIS IS WHOLEASS TEAMWORK

“I really love you guys” YEAH HE DOES 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Okay arc over haha right guys we’re good now RIGHT GUYS??

In part, Kakashi jumping around to save his students feels very much reminiscent of Part I’s “MY SENSEI SENSES ARE TINGLING” swoop and scoop that he and Gai loved to do

Lmao @ Kaguya spitting Madara out like he’s a bad-tasting vegetable

Coming up with an OP specifically for VOTE2 is so extra but I kind of love it the Diver parallels!!!!

Sasuke is SUCH a liar abt his attitude towards Team 7 - more specifically towards Sakura and Kakashi bc he has already granted that he cares for Naruto

Sasuke: Comrades? I don’t know her

Also Sasuke: Constantly urging Sakura and Kakashi to get to safety and actively intervening when they’re not

“Honestly at this point I don’t think anything could shock me anymore” Sakura really needs a hug and a nap

“I shall be sure to ask Obito tell me that tale in the afterworld” the real question is if Obito will still look 12 when he takes Hagoromo on the harrowing journey that is his life

Kakashi truly has endless love in his stupid ass heart Obito’s like, “Hmmm... whoops sorry 4 committing mass murder” and Kakashi’s like “Hehe, we all mess up sometimes :) See u in heaven”

Madara and Hashirama really did invent being in gay love huh

WOW I WAS NOT EXPECTING TO TEAR UP BUT KJHFKJHFKJH MY BABY BOY SAYING GOODBYE TO HIS DAD HE IS THE WORLD’S BIGGEST SWEETHEART

“You’ve now finally settled things with Madara” Tobirama has been waiting for like a hundred years for his brother to get over his ex

Hagoromo: Naruto’s your new conference room congrats kids 

Mmmmm I don’t like aaaaannnnnny of this

“You’re suggesting that I enjoy a roooOoomance” why say it like that Sasuke

I genuinely think this is the maddest that Kakashi’s ever been at Sasuke that boy is very, very grounded

“I, too, had two children at one time” OMG KAKASHI OFFICIALLY DESIGNATED TEAM 7 DAD BY HAGOROMO (ur miscounting tho Kakashi actually has four (4) children)

“I think I shall let Naruto handle this” said Hagoromo, and everyone who encountered any problem in this series ever

I’m very distracted from Sasuke’s dictatorship speech by the fact he looks so much like an alien. What is UP with his eyes they never look like this???? Why are they so far apart and narrow and angled

“Your blood will be the last that I shed” what r u just gonna keep genjutsuing ppl Sasuke? Could just keep the Tsukuyomi on then, homie

It also plays into the Hagoromo and Kakashi are related (spiritually or literally) that Hagoromo is equally as useless with advice to him lmao

Kakashi: What should I be doing, sir?

Hagoromo: Sometimes I like to pray :) 

Fjkkjgkjhgkjhk Sasuke claiming that Naruto is his only bond never ceases to amaze me like Sakura and Kakashi are RIGHT THERE ghkjhgkjhgkj u have been protecting them this whole time while they shout how much they care abt u. Just admit u have a crush on Naruto and go!!!

“I know your heart well by now. And you mine” Sasuke u unintentionally romantic dumbass

“Finally decided to kill me, huh,” said a thrilled Sasuke, taking a lesson from the Kakashi School of Very Much Needing Ninja Therapy

This entire fight is the Life or Death equivalent of this tweet:

Lmao one of these boys lost a tooth I want to know which of them has a dental implant 

Omg............... Iruka what is going ON.... u are suddenly v pale and also I think ur VA might be different could they not get the same Iruka or has he just forgotten how Iruka sounds

It was real unclear until this fight that Sasuke had any of the same powers as Nagato

“Now I can finally be alone... farewell, my one and only... friend” again... Sasuke... u can be in love with Naruto and still have other friends!!!!!!! Ask Naruto he has tons of friends he’s not in love with*

*Disclaimer: they are all in love with him

The idea that everyone Naruto’s ever cared about is spiritually trying to help him kick Sasuke’s ass is p funny

“Sakura and Kakashi are still there, they’ll figure something out” cute that you have such an assload of faith in your loved ones in ur life-flashing-before-you moment Sasuke but with what jutsu lmao

“I began to see a shadow of my own family in Squad 7″ YEAH HE DID  😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

I still can’t believe that Kishimoto really wrote that all it took for Sasuke to return to Konoha was Naruto explaining to him how love and empathy work 

Omg Sasuke laughing...... I missed your laugh you precious boy

“Release the infinite Tsukuyomi once I’m dead by transplanting my left eye into Kakashi or someone else” Fhjfhkfh it detracts a little from the significance of Sasuke offering his eye to Kakashi to add the “someone else” but I guess they gotta make the syllables match up

Why is every Uchiha’s long-term plan just to die before they have to deal with the consequences of their actions

“I’m sorry” “Sorry? For what” “For everything” “You got that right” Sasuke I think u need to treat all of ur teammates to ramen 

“It’s finally back to the way it was” Kakashi loooves his baaabies 

TENZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 

Omg they included Guren from the filler arc in this crowd hahahaha

Gaara and Naruto enveloped in that same beam of light like Kakashi and Tenzo in the Tsukuyomi kghjghkgh SP said gentle gay rights

“I’m forbidden to talk about it” Team 7 would RIOT if Sasuke was locked up in a cell like that fuck you

Hahahaha I wish I could see the scene where Kakashi and Iruka decided to ambush Naruto with study materials 

Okay this is definitely a different Iruka ahhhhh weird I don’t like it

Iruka bursting into tears whenever Naruto talks about his progress.... same

I 100% believe that the vast majority of the reason Kakashi became Hokage was to pardon Sasuke but also that prison scene still seems appalling to me STOP MAKING THINGS WORSE THAN THEY WERE SHOWN TO BE

"Maybe next time” is super funny in the context that he does take her on his next mission outside the village and comes back with one (1) whole baby

Sasuke’s introspection usually seems to amount to “Birth is a curse and existence is a prison... oh hey Naruto <3″ 

The moral of the story seems to be that the best way to show someone you love them in ninja language is by telling them you want to keep punching them for the rest of your life

[crowned-ladybug]

Marvin from the rivals au for that character thing or just in general bc I love him so much and I want to know more about him

This got so long, I’m so sorry. This is like 2k words bc if allowed to talk about this boy then i could talk Forever. Oops

(With the meme it’s here btw)

Occasional sleeptalker. Usually just incoherent babbling, andJackie finds it hilarious to listen to if he's awake for it

Can braid his own hair perfectly without any trouble. Fear him

Shows his love of certain ppl by buying them lil gifts but hatesthe confrontation and awkwardness of giving them to them so heusually just leaves them in places he knows they'll find them,usually with no indication that they're from him either

Colour codes Everything

Has his own way of organising things that makes sense to Him okaybut he can't really explain it to anyone else. It annoys poor Jamesonto no end bc he organises shit to help with his anxiety and MarvinKeeps Ruining It

His reaction to Chase and Jackie wanting to get up to impulsivefun shit is "sure, go ahead, just don't hinder whatever I'mdoing" (or sometimes he joins them) and Schneep is sodisappointed in him for not helping him keep them in check instead

Has a fuckin perfectly figured out skincare routine and he'sdragging all the others up with him

Generally v good at lazy/spa day kinda self-care

Has ADD (tho all the egos have ADD/ADHD tbh)

Chase has absolutely compared him to Mettaton X at some point andMarvin doesn't know how to react to that

Gets cold super easily and Hates It. Is an absolute lil bitchabout it and won't stop whining until he can get warm again(favourite way to do that is to cuddle Jackie, and he just goes allhappy and melty from it, but I still wouldn't try to talk to him if Iwere you. And Jackie is a good bf who puts up with Marvin's stupidcold hands and face)

Has two modes when cuddling btw, he either just lies peacefullywith someone (mostly Jackie) while having an arm draped over them orholding their hand or pressed up against them, or he turns into afuckin octopus. Good luck trying to get up, you won't succeed

Which has led to multiple instances of someone needing Jackie forsomething, only to find him unavailable bc he's completely trapped bya sleeping Marvin even if he himself is wide awake. But he enjoys ita lot too bc Hell Yes Affection and would never have the heart tomove him and wake him up

He's also p damn pointy so he's not really the most comfy personto cuddle but Oh Well

Also wakes up slow and says a lot of bullshit in the process (orstuff he'd normally filter out and not get to say, like sappy shit)

A flirty lil bitch

Knows Jackie blushes super easily and enjoys the fuck out of it.Constantly trying to figure out how little it'll take for him to beall red in the face (And he knows Jackie doesn't mind and he backsoff when he's told to. Don't worry. Consent is still there)

He on the other hand doesn't blush often so when he does it meanshe's Super Flustered

Ik i said this last night too but he knows how to dance and doesit p well tbh?? He used to dance a lot when he was a kid/teen butdropped it when he realised he was trans bc then he tried to be AsMasculine As Possible bc he felt like if he didn't he'd be "fakingit"

(Grew out of that eventually. He's so glad he did)

Insecure about more stuff than he would ever let you believe

Once he starts really caring about the other egos he tries So Hardto be good to them and secretly beats himself up sometimes for stillbeing an Asshole when he messes it up. Yeah it's angsty. He'd takehimself apart just to make it up to his friends for having been anasshole to them before

Not a morning person but he can still function if woken up early,he'll just make sure you know that he's Not happy about it

Very rarely gets dysphoric, really only if continously referred towith the wrong pronouns/gendered terms or if called his deadname

At some point he started shooting Jackie flirty looks while sayingbullshit in French (Jackie doesn't speak French) to fluster him butit got to the point where Marvin realised that if he wanted to keepdoing it he'd need to Actually Learn French instead of just spoutingthe same limited amount of bullshit all the time. And that's thestory of why he started studying a Whole Other Language

Likes flowers but knows fuck all about them

I don't think I'll ever properly type down how he got his scar sohere: before Marvin pledged alliance to the other egos, Anti alreadyassumed he would, and so he captured him and threatened to torturehim to get information out of him/possibly force him on his sideinstead. Marvin called his bluff and told him to fuck himself. Antigot angry, waved his knife a lil too close to Marvin's face duringone of his threats and ended up actually cutting him. Anti was superhappy bc holy shit I Did Something, and Marvin decided that he's hadenough and since he'd been saving his energy all this time, blew up acharge of electricity in Anti's face. He then proceeded to teleporthome (with the chair he was tied to still attached but uhh. That partof the story is a lil less dignified so shh)

Anti has had a special place in Hell for him ever since (and withthis I'm realising that Anti is actually p fuckin bad at his job??Wow)

Says he doesn't like his hair messed with. He's lying.

But you gotta be Special and Important To Him to have permissionto touch his hair (or a hairdresser I guess). But Jackie is one ofthose ppl so he can mess with Marvin's hair all he wants (he evenlearned how to braid hair just to surprise him and lemme tell you,Marvin was Absolutely v surprised) Stroke and pet his hair longenough and he'll go all melty

His teeth are a lil bit pointier than average (and Jackie is sofucking gay for that and I'm shaming him)

Used to write poetry as a teen. Don't bring it up, he'sembarrassed.

Shoves all his feelings and problems in a box and hides them inthe attic bc He Doesn't Want Them

Can sing okay but doesn't do it often bc it's not Perfect so it'sBad. Hums more often tho

He's scared of a bunch of stuff in horror movies (and triggered bysome) but No One is allowed to know that. He's glad most of theothers don't much like them either and thus they don't watch themtogether anyway. He really doesn't want others to see him scared bche thinks it'd make him look weak and ridiculous

(Yes, he double-standards himself vs other ppl a Lot. Being scaredor having bad mental health or messing up is only bad if he does it.But you didn't hear that from me.)

Pokemon is one of his biggest and longest-lasting hyperfixations

Holy shit I've never drawn him in a suit but my dudes he looks SoPretty in a well-fitted suit, Holy Fuck. Give him a lapel flower andit'll be Perfect. No one can resist that amount of charm

Knows how to walk (and even run and dance) in high heels but can'tfucking stand them (no pun intended, he just finds them reallyuncomfortable)

Will be stunned silent if anyone assumes he doesn't absolutelyAdore Jackie, both bc How Dare You and bc he's trying So Hard to be agood bf is he really That Bad at it?

Pressure is not his main stim but it's the best way to bring himout of a panic/anxiety attack and just ground him in general, espwhen he can't use his magic or doesn't think to use it. (He doesn'thave any weighted stuff so in others words: lie on him.) Once hecalms down enough he'll hopefully start doing his vital-readingmagic, which should help calm him more

(Also yeah, the whole vital-reading that I've probably talk aboutjust Way Too Much already but jic I'll mention it again anyway: hecan use his magic to read other ppl's vitals. It calms and comfortshim. He mainly does it to Jackie, who has given him blanketpermission for it)

Favourite stim is fondling with squishy things (like those foamanimal keychains??) and scraping stuff like candle wax or soap (itwould probably be chewing if he actually realised that that is aValid Stim but he Doesn't)

Has his own apartment for a while still after moving in with theother egos bc he doesn't expect it to last. He sells it about a yearlater

His job is being a magician too and doing his shows that bring inAbsolutely enough money for him to not have to get another job or doshows like every other night. Ppl don't know he has Actual MagicPowers which makes a lot of things easier for him

His masks are all self-made bc he didn't wanna chance lettinganyone else do it, and he's had many less fabulous ones before bc healways wants Better. The gold patterns on the one I've drawn him withbefore are covered in glitter. He has a couple other ones he usestho, all different styles and shapes and colours for the sake ofvariety. He always wears matching make-up (mainly eye make-up andlipstick) for his shows

The scoreboard on the fridge (a piece of paper where they trackevery time him and Jackie defeat each other in Anything At All) washis idea, but it was Jackie who drew the stick figure renditions ofthe two of them on it (so it was a joint effort, really. Yeah,ironic. Or typical)

Has no shame when it comes to PDA as long as it isn't suggestive,but Jackie is a lot less sure about it (esp when out in public) soofc he respects that

That also means that if Jackie decides to hold his hand in publiche gets So Fucking Giddy you have No Idea and also you wouldn'tbelieve it even if you saw

Speaking of giddy. If you manage to get him to start talking aboutJackie (not a hard thing to achieve tbh) he will get so happy andgiddy and excited and Will Not Shut Up okay. Or at least it'll takehim a While to realise that he's rambling and has completely shed hiscool exterior. He just really loves his bf okay and he kinda justwants everyone to know how great he is

Can remember names and face p well but numbers and dates? Nah son.You better believe he has to make memos and calendar entries on hisphone for Everything. He's glad he can remember his own birthday,almost everything else he just kinda remembers (so only as specificas season or month). He feels bad about it tho, esp when he has tocheck like twice a day coming up to an important date that yes, it'sstill two days away, he didn't miss it

Has the kinda handwriting that's v pretty to look at but is anabsolute Pain to try to read