#but I think you know which sections I mean
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Not really sure what incongruous means so I'll look it up after but it does feel like as i get older life gets more complex theres more things i understand now that sure i knew about them before but not in great detail but it feels like I've become so fucking complex as a person that if i tried to explain what i actually think and feel it would just overwhelm a person so i try and section myself off into pieces and just use different parts of me with different situations or people and it may just be because ive spent most of my time these past 2 almost 3 years now alone with nothing to do but think and figure myself out that when im asked what i think about something slightly personal its kinda hard to say it just got lost in my head somewhere and that whatever i think will change at a moments notice like i can bring up memories of lots of things and remember nostalgic times but i spent so long thinking about why i feel a certain way or what makes me feel a certain way in order to try and get a better hold of myself that ive kinda forgotten alot of my past like so many memories that i made are just gone because remembering them made me feel a way i dont want to feel like i remember realizing the beginning of 6th grade that i had completely forgotten 5th grade and the reason why was because that time i had was so nice yet not at the same time my brain just frogot because it didn't want a reminder of how good yet not something can be like great teachers who for the first time ever actually seemed to care as far as i could tell class mates who were generally friendly and occasionally checked on me if i seemed off yet i felt so alone cause nobody there really seemed like a real friend like the friends i had before who even when we were in deep trouble wouldn't rat me out and would stick with me who genuinely cared and missed me if i was sick getting older and not having anyone to socialize with for really formative years off my life has made understand those really old dudes who are nice and always up to make friends but just seem extra lonely for some reason despite knowing so many people i guess technically being that alone did hurt me but i kinda learned that im just not alone ever when im outside theres always some squirrels birds or plants nearby that make it more lively its why ive grown so fond of certain forested spots they are always lively and it feels like hanging out with all my friends its also why i enjoy making things like with metal or wood stone or even writing and painting those things feel alive in a way same with music and having time to think so much has made me reflect and realize that no day is the same and even when something changes something else stays the same or gos back to how it was in a weird cycle like growing but remembering where you were growing older for me anyways is like gaining more skills and more knowledge not just on the stuff around me but on myself too obviously people change sometimes pretty quickly too but getting older makes you learn more about yourself which duh that how life works but still it feels weird to be aware of it at 17 when it feels like i should still be trying to figure out my favorite youtuber or something not contemplate who i am as a person and what makes me feel the way i do but its a good kind of weird and theres always more to learn and find so i still have plenty of room to learn more about myself still not being able to really fully let a person know you kinda sucks but to be fair that is a rather special thing its also nice being able to put into words why i feel a certain way so that i can actually explain myself instead of just going quiet cause i dont know myself that well still kinda funny to know your own problems but not be able to jusy fix them when you know its a very deep problem even when it seems surface level and damn i got kinda personal there woops also just noticed that im shaking so might be overwhelmed remembering 5th grade which is probably why i frogot it or at least thought i did
anybody else feel that being human is like being a long-time syndicated cartoon character watching the world get more complex while your own design stays the same until youre incongruous with the reality around you??
#Anyway im gonna see if i can calm down and mabye froget 5th grade again#not remembering stuff can hurt sometimes so dont try it i already fucked up learn fro. my mistakes
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The Main Event (Multiple Pairings) Part 1
Can be read as a standalone but also (Part 8 in the Blind Items AU A/N: Its my nineteenth birthday 🥳 I wanted to write about adults being happy in different stages of their life because I am so scared of growing up and the thought of not being a teenager next year makes me nauseous. Enjoy! Each pairing has a Blind Items backstory which is linked at the start of their section (You don't have to read the backstory, though) Multiple (separate) Pairings: Logan Sargeant x Leclerc!reader, Oscar Piastri x reader, Charles Leclerc x reader, Lando Norris x reader, Lance Stroll x reader, Lewis Hamilton x reader, Alexander Albon x reader in the next part Summary: A wedding between Logan Sargeant and the youngest Leclerc child means a very interesting guest list, in which all previous victims of the F1 Blind Items account are included.
Oscar Piastri
“Dude, how come you are more nervous about my own wedding than I am?” Logan asked.
Oscar rolled his eyes and scoffed, pretending what the American was saying was ridiculous, as he nervously picked at his nails, trying to hide his trembling hands. Logan just laughed at his friend's failed attempt at nonchalance.
“It’s just- I’m nervous about the media inserting themselves in the events today. I mean I don’t want to have my toddlers in the spotlight any more than they already are.” Oscar explained. After being forced to reveal his kids to the world before he nor his fiancée were ready, and after just a few interviews and racing events the kids attended, Oscar didn’t want to give the media much more for the time being.
“Wow, way to make my wedding about you.” Logan teased, trying to relieve the utter look of anxiety and despair on Oscar’s face. But the Mclaren driver just shot him an unamused glare. “Look, I have told you time and time again if you don’t want them as flower girls- or kids, I’d gladly make my brother frolick down the aisle throwing petals. As much as I love my honorary niece and nephew, nothing would make me happier than making Dalton do that.”
This finally got a laugh out of Oscar. “They have been practicing too much to do that, we would be in for a shit storm if you tried to take away their time to shine.” It had been a big thing in the Piastri household for the past few months. Every second of every day, Frances and Hudson had been asking their parents questions about what weddings were like, how they should walk down the aisle, and if they had to see uncle Logan kiss his wife (they were not amused by the idea of having to see that). Not to mention the hundreds of times they forced their parents to watch how they would walk down the aisle, asking what they thought and ignoring any criticisms given to them (they saw no reason as to why they shouldn’t be allowed to dance and sing while throwing petals).
“Then calm down. If all goes well there won’t be any media there, I mean I think we have done a pretty good job at making sure no one outside the event knows about it. Plus, no offense but there are plenty of people with far more interesting stories and scandals than your family. The tabloids are bored with y’all now that there isn’t anything new to expose.” Maybe a harsh way of putting it, but it was true, there were plenty of Formula 1 couples who had been exposed by the media for various reasons in attendance today.
“Right. Got to say, Logan, the guestlist is impressive. I mean could you imagine telling your 13 year old self that the Lewis Hamilton would be attending your wedding?” Oscar asked. Even after a few years racing against the guy, the shock from being around him never wore off. He just had that ‘greatest of all time’ energy.
“I can’t even take the credit for much of it though. It's the bride who brought all the biggest names.” Logan rolled his eyes playfully. It was true though, his wife-to-be had made friends with all the biggest names in the world and they weren’t half assed friendships either. She could make even the tiniest of acquaintances feel like longtime companionships. She could make everyone feel so unbelievably loved and cherished in such a short time.
God he couldn’t wait to marry her.
Oscar laughed at the lovesick grin on his friend’s face. Usually he’d tease him, but he decided maybe he should just cut the man some slack on his wedding day.
But the urge was too great he couldn’t let Logan go unteased, before he could do so though-
“Dad! Dad! Dad! Look, me and Fran match!” Oscar’s son, Hudson, ran into the room, his sister following after him.
The two seemed to light up in their soft blue outfits.
“Don’t you two look awesome!” Logan said from behind the twins, making them turn around. “You guys look better than me on my own wedding day.”
The toddlers shouted in excitement as they ran to their favorite honorary uncle (much to Lando’s chagrin. He fought hard for that title).
“You two ready to be the stars of the show? Throwing petals ain’t easy work.” He said as he crouched down to hug the toddlers.
Oscar rolled his eyes. Leave it to Logan to make his own children completely uninterested in him. Fortunately, someone who was actually interested in him entered the room after them. His wonderful fiancée.
“You look gorgeous, honey.” Oscar said awestruck.
“You saw me in this earlier.” She deadpanned.
“Let a man compliment his fincée, will you?” Holding her close to him, kissing her deeply. It was only when the two weren’t cut off with toddler “ewws” and “stop grossss” that they looked back at their children, currently in a… dance competition with the groom. “Glad to see how much they care for us.” Oscar sighed, feeling childish jealousy.
“Let him entertain them, he’ll get some more practice for when he has his own kids.”
“He’s too young, honey. He is about to get married, he doesn't need to think about that right now.” Oscar scoffed, feeling offended for his children that Logan would ever dethrone his honorary niece and nephew from being his favorite kids.
“Says the man who had two kids by 18 and has been engaged twice, but not married, by 23.” Honey amused.
He blushed at the reminder that their relationship had been done a bit… backwards.
“They already have an officiant and audience, maybe we can just jump in with the bride and groom, two birds with one stone.”
“Nope! I already have two Piastri’s taking the spotlight today, I don’t need more.” Logan said while both twins climbed all over him.
Charles Leclerc (And the Leclerc Co.)
Normally, hard launching your child was not something a bride would encourage on her wedding day, but as the youngest Leclerc child, Charles’ sister loved the drama. Hence why her nephew was making his debut to the public as the ring bearer. Only a month old, the media hadn’t gotten to meet the cutie as he was born right at the start of winter break. It brought tears to his eyes, how insistent his baby sister was on having her nephew involved in her wedding. It was already an emotional day for Charles, who felt like he was losing his first baby as he walked her down the aisle and sent her off into her future, but he truly couldn’t be happier.
And doing it with his son by his side just made it all the more memorable.
“Honey?” Charles’ girlfriend called as she popped her head into the room he was getting ready in. In her arms was their newborn who, while still so small, broke everyone’s heart at how big he was getting. “Oh, my love, are you seriously crying again?” she asked as he tried to inconspicuously wipe away his tears.
Being reminded that he had just been crying only made him start to cry more.
“Charlie, you are more emotional than I was while pregnant. What is going on with you today?”
“It is stupid, I’m sorry. It's just- it was yesterday my sister was in my arms, having just been born, and now she is getting married and the American is taking her away.”
If there was one thing the Leclerc brothers loved to do, it was make fun of their soon to be brother-in-law. They truly did love Logan, but it was so easy to pick on him and he was far too polite to try anything with them yet. If you asked them, they would say they are just treating him like the brother he is, but they also just really love how much it pissed their sister off, who will certainly be defending him.
“Oh, sweetheart, she isn’t going anywhere. They are still going to live in Monaco, and you race with her husband almost every weekend. If anything now that they are married you will see more of her.”
It was true. Even if the Leclerc brothers had a strict ban on dating drivers, they had to admit that their sister had found a good partner in Logan. A man who was driving alongside Charles, had been on the same team as Arthur in the past, and knew just how important and difficult the sport was on family.
Giving her boyfriend a quick kiss on the cheek after wiping his tears from his face, Charles’ partner went on to try and fix the mess of hair that her lover was currently fighting.
The Leclerc’s had terrible bed heads, something that unfortunately had already been seen in the first grandson, even at just a month old his hair was thick and unmanageable.
Fortunately, Charles had calmed down enough that he was no longer a complete mess when his brothers entered the room. If Charles knew anything about his brother’s (and his sister) it was that such tears would have led to him being teased for the rest of his life about it.
“Have you seen her?” Charles asked Enzo, hoping for any indication on how their sister was doing, having been too busy setting up for the wedding and taking care of his son to check on the bride thoroughly.
Arthur rolled his eyes, “When we tried to see her, Maman wouldn’t let us in.”
“Why? Is something wrong?” Charles’ girlfriend asked, the same level of concern in her voice displayed accross Charles’ face.
“No, no, the bride said she wanted to have a little moment with the four of us before the wedding, so she didn’t want us to see anything before.” Enzo explained. He had understood her sentiment, Arthur… not so much.
Letting out a breath at the confirmation that nothing was wrong, Charles sat quietly while he got his hair tamed, his brothers playing with their nephew in the back.
It was a sight that almost brought tears to Pascale’s eyes, but she had already cried so much and she knew she needed to save the rest of her tears for the ceremony. Her three boys, all in different stages of their lives, all dressed up and ready to support their baby sister on her big day.
There was a sense of love and excitement in the air, reminding her of when her daughter had first been born, her older brothers hardly able to sit still while they waited in anticipation. Though everyone was calm now, having gotten most of their childish impatience out of their system, those feelings hadn’t changed.
“Someone wants to see you all.” She spoke up, getting the attention of her boys. Charles’ girlfriend pressed a kiss to his cheek and took their son from his uncles, wanting to give the Leclerc siblings a moment alone.
“My goodness, you look stunning.” She said to the bride as she walked through the doorway before leaving. This made all the brother’s perk up, losing the rest of their patience as they waited to see their baby sister.
The second she stepped into the room and tears welled up in everyone’s eyes, the Leclercs knew it was going to be a long day full of bittersweet melancholy, but also one so full of love.
Lando Norris
“Have I told you how wonderful you looked?” Lando asked, grabbing his girlfriend’s hand as he ran his thumb over her knuckles.
She rolled her eyes, “Only a thousand times since we got in the car. Not to mention when I was getting ready, when I was trying on dresses, or when I was simply speaking to you about what I was thinking of wearing.” She teased.
He knew it was overkill, but he also knew how stressed she was. Not about the wedding, she was excited to attend and celebrate, but of the fact she knew she’d finally be identified as Lando Norris’s “unremarkable” girlfriend the tabloids have talked about for a while.
The media knew he was dating not a model, or heir to a fortune, or an influencer, but a “simple” teacher, one who had a private instagram account with hardly 100 people on it. They had seen what pictures Lando posted of her, maybe a few posted by friends, but they never showed her face. They didn’t even know her name.
Even though their words were harsh, even though it hurt they thought she was undeserving of him when they didn’t know her, the anonymity at least came with the sentiment that all their judgements came from one simple fact, that she was a teacher. Now, they would have more to criticize, more to know, and she hated the thought.
Despite the public not knowing about her though, she had still been able to become good friends with many of Lando’s. Had been present for many arguments between Logan and Lando as they defended their individual titles of being “the best honorary uncle” to the Piastri twins and had been there to help watch the toddlers so Oscar’s fiancée could get a bit of a break during races.
She loved so many of the people there, and she knew they all had her back. Because of this, she felt more ready to face the music. She shouldn’t be ashamed of who she was, she loved everything about her life, and she wouldn’t be made to feel bad for loving Lando.
In the end, it was what the two of them thought and felt about their relationship that mattered.
Lando smiled as he watched her take a deep breath, ready for what was to come. He’d move heaven and the earth for her, and he for sure wasn’t going to let some idiots online ruin something so good.
Lance Stroll
“You must have the worst heartburn, huh?” A mutual friend of a friend, Marie, asked.
“Oh, well actually-”
“Ugh it was so bad! And the indigestion, that really sucked. Oh! Reminds me of this one awful stretch of time when I was pregnant. I was actually also at a wedding…” Marie started on a tangent about some pregnancy horror story. One the currently pregnant woman she was talking to, didn’t appreciate hearing at the moment.
Lance looked over at his wife, stuck in conversation looking pained. Fearing that something was wrong with her or the baby, he quickly made his way over with an excuse to whisk her away.
“Are you alright?” He asked once out of earshot of Marie.
His wife opened her mouth to answer, but was unable to when a choked sound made its way out first. The sound attracted the eyes of several wedding guests, who upon seeing that she was pregnant, turned back to their conversations, finding that as the excuse for such an outburst. While she was embarrassed when all eyes turned to her, the lack of interest in her wellbeing after seeing her belly just made her start to sob even more.
Knowing his wife was in distress and clearly the crowded room was adding to the discomfort, Lance led her to an unoccupied hallway.
“Come on, hun. How can I make this better?” Sweetness, with a bit of helplessness, in his tone.
“You-you can’t!” She cried. God, how was she ever supposed to explain what the hell was happening with her. Especially when each second, she felt differently.
Maybe that was the problem.
“I’m- I am so tired of being the pregnant lady.” She managed to get out.
Lance frowned at the confession. “I know, love. I can’t imagine what it's like to be pregnant, and I wish I could help. I know it sucks, but you can get through-”
“Stop! That's the problem. Every single issue I have is written off as something that just happens with pregnancy. Like they are just side effects that can’t be helped! Like I just need to deal with them alone because “I signed up for this”. Maybe it sounds stupid or childish but I don’t give a fuck anymore, Lance. I don’t want to be treated like some pregnant lady, I don't want to be treated as if every single emotion I have is just because of hormones or because all women are just expected to suffer through this! Marie just came up to me and started talking about her own horror stories from when she was pregnant! I don’t want to hear that, not when she isn’t giving actual advice, just trying to laugh about things I, as the currently pregnant person, don’t find funny! I don’t want to talk about how I am so hungry and have people laugh and say ‘oh that's just what happens’. I want to get food! I want to be able to be upset without people losing interest the second they realize it's just the pregnant lady crying. I want the things I'm going through to be taken seriously, Lance.”
A beat of silence as he took in her words.
As the silence stretched on though, she found herself with an apology forming on the tip of her tongue, feeling bad for yelling at her husband during her tangent when, even if he had contributed to the problem, he didn’t really do anything wrong.
Just as she opened her mouth though, he got on his phone.
She started to not feel as bad as she watched her husband seemingly ignore all she said.
“Are you-” She began, just to be cut off by him putting his phone in his pocket, and kissing her deeply.
Most of her anger seemed to disappear at that moment. He hadn’t kissed her like that in what felt like forever. Since she had told him she had been pregnant, he had been unsure of how to go about doing… well, anything.
After a few passionately blissful seconds, he pulled away, still holding her face between his hands and stroking her cheek with his thumbs. “I ordered a car to take us to a crappy fast food place.”
She stammered, “What do- why?”
“You said you are hungry, the ceremony hasn’t even begun yet, we are going to be here for a while before we can eat and while I’m sure the bride and groom have an amazing set up, there isn’t a point in making you suffer any longer when we can fix it.” he explained.
She didn’t know what to say. She wanted to agree, but she also wanted to support their friends and knew she probably shouldn’t skip out on their wedding day. But she really needed something to eat and her feet were killing her already-
“No, Lance, we shouldn’t it- it would be rude.” She answered.
Lance laughed at her attempt at trying to convince both herself and him. “As much as I’d love to stay, I’d much rather watch you eat a disgusting amount of fast food in an impressively short amount of time all the while dressed to the nines. Plus, we both know the bride and groom would be understanding.” He said as he grabbed her purse and opened the door for her. “After you, my love.”
She sighed, realizing he was right.
“Oh how gentlemanly of you,” she teased in a posh accent. “Is it often you whisk away distressed damsels to fast food restaurants?”
“Only the gorgeous ones. I did earn my nickname of Sir Lancelot from my wife for a reason.” He teased back.
“It seems you have.” She replied with a kiss on the cheek.
Lewis Hamilton
“Oh, sweet pea. You look stunning!” Lewis said as he facetimed his daughter, currently at home with her mom.
The young girl giggled at the compliment, asking her dad about the wedding. She had been more than curious about weddings lately after hearing that her dad was attending one.
“-and the bride wears a beautiful white dress”
“Like the one mommy is wearing?” she asked her dad, pointing to the oversized t-shirt her mom was wearing with paint stains on it from when she and her partner had painted the nursery for the 1 year old currently asleep in said room. Lewis laughed at the image.
“While I am sure your mommy could wear that and still be the most beautiful girl in the world. A wedding dress is a little… different.” Lewis answered.
“Mommy! Can I see your wedding dress?” her daughter asked.
Both parents froze at the question, realizing they might have not told their child a pretty important detail about her parents.
“Oh- honey. Daddy and I never got married.” She answered. Her daughter looked back at the phone, at her dad, confused.
“Dad? Why didn’t you marry mommy? Don’t you love her?”
Harsh. Lewis didn’t know how to answer such a question, but he eventually found the words.
“Sweetheart, you know I love your mom very much. You are all my most favorite girls. Some people just don’t get married, they don’t feel the need to.” He answered. It wasn’t that the two of them didn’t want to, they had planned on it. But their first daughter had been unplanned, then their second had been too, and eventually, as they became everything to one another, they didn’t have a wedding so high on their priority list, knowing the proof of their love was evident in the two girls they were raising, in the life they had built together despite many unwanted opinions trying to ruin it.
“Let me talk to your dad sweetie. Can you grab my water from the living room?” His girlfriend asked as her daughter handed her the phone and jumped off the bed.
After the sound of the young girl’s footsteps softened in the background, she spoke up, “Sorry about that, Lew, she saw a photo of some celebrity wedding today and her interest in the topic was reignited.”
“She is a curious kid, I get it. She is a smart one too, she gets it from her mother.” He watched his girlfriend blush at the compliment. Even while tired having to take care of the two young children alone, she seemed to be glowing. “We never did get around to marriage, did we?”
She sighed, “I guess we got too busy. I hadn’t even thought about it in a while- not that I don’t want to marry you still!”
He laughed at her realization she may have chosen her words wrong, “No, I haven’t either. Two kids is a lot, and we both know how we feel about each other. But I will always be ready to marry you, the second you say so.”
“Well, I’ll always be ready to marry you, after you properly propose. You already got two kids out of me, I at least deserve a big flashy ring.” She teased.
“And you shall have it my love.” Lewis suddenly heard his daughter coming back. He spoke up when he saw her pop back up on screen, “What do you think, love bug? Should mommy and daddy get married? I think your mom would look beautiful in a big white dress, right?”
The little girl perked up at that, “Yes! But, will it be hard for mommy to wear a dress with the baby in her tummy?” She asked, pointing to her mom’s stomach.
Both adults froze.
Slowly, Lewis’ girlfriend let out a deep sigh. “Baby, I told you not to talk about that with daddy till we could tell him…”
If his eyes opened any wider, they would have popped out of his head. “She’s serious? We are having another baby?”
“Surprise? I wanted to keep it a secret till you came back and make it all special but she was so sad when you left I told her to cheer her up.”
Lewis’ heart softened at the thought, “Well, I guess a wedding might have to be postponed for the time being” He amused.
They’d get around to it, maybe after this next kid, maybe after the next few.
Part 2 coming soon featuring: Alex Albon x reader, Logan Sargeant x Leclerc!Reader (Its 1 am and I have work in a few hours)
#logan sargeant x reader#logan sargeant imagine#formula 1 imagine#formula 1 x reader#f1 x reader#lando norris x reader#lando norris imagine#lando x reader#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc imagine#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri imagine#oscar piastri x you#alex albon x reader#lance stroll x reader#lewis hamilton x reader#lewis hamilton imagine
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#🤔 i remember reading about trauma being a psychic wound#from witnessing or experiencing an event where someone's physical integrity was threatened#i know you can't start talking about ptsd until 6 months after the event if you're still seeing effects from it#i'm not so sure about the formal definition of traumatized#bc most people heal after even really bad trauma. ptsd is what you get around 1/3 times when your psyche like. doesn't#so i think traumatized might be for shorter term effect? but still like a specific term for you know like an actual medical condition#and indeed i'm no health professional or expert but i'm p fucking sure that can't happen from stuff happening to fictional people#and much less from reading words on a page#anyway thank you for this post op
I also find these distinctions and definitions super interesting! (I'd say "fun" but it's just not a fun topic.)
-My understanding is that you're right, post-traumatic stress syndrome can't be diagnosed until 6 months after the event. If you're having stress symptoms in the immediate aftermath - and this is quite common, much more common than longer-term PTSD - it's called acute stress disorder (there's also 'adjustment disorder' which might overlap?). And people actually going through the fight-flight-or-freeze survival response to trauma may not be aware of themselves as particularly upset or realize they're having symptoms; those often emerge after the immediate threat is past. I cannot stress enough that people with PTSD are not weak and have not failed; to survive trauma requires immense resilience whatever the outcome. But PTSD also isn't an inevitable outcome. (George Bonnano's book The End of Trauma is poorly titled - he doesn't promise to end trauma - but was a really informative read on resilience.) Also, the fact that 85% of the people who evacuated the Twin Towers on 9/11 did not develop PTSD makes me skeptical of how many people would develop PTSD from reading or watching a movie; if as a species we're that resilient when our lives are truly threatened and death is all around us, I expect we'll be pretty resilient in milder circumstances. [However, some forms of trauma have far higher likelihood of PTSD than others because of different factors: for instance, about half of sexual assault survivors experience PTSD, because our culture really sucks at supporting SA survivors. The same article says 94% of survivors experience PTSD symptoms in the first 2 weeks; I think this is what the 'acute stress disorder' diagnosis is intended to cover.]
-So then what do we actually mean when we say "traumatized"? Speaking for myself as OP, I'd mean either/or 1. Developed symptoms of PTSD or acute stress disorder, or 2. Went through an experience known to lead to symptoms of PTSD or acute stress disorder (on which I'll defer to section A of the DSM-5's diagnostic criteria for PTSD), even if such symptoms didn't develop or have since resolved. This definition may be somewhat circular. It is not perfect (the DSM is not an unimpeachable document; at the same time, informed and caring people are always at work to improve it). But I think it gets at a real distinction that will emerge if we compare the experiences of, for instance, people who actually had a friend die suddenly in childhood vs people who just read Bridge to Terebithia.
-In hindsight it might have been helpful to define what I think it means to be "traumatized" in my OP, but it isn't easy to get the entire contents of Judith Herman's Trauma and Recovery plus Bessel van der Kolk's The Body Keeps the Score plus the odd discussion in the therapist's office into a concise blog post. And maybe it was more productive to leave the term undefined so each reader has to examine their own definition/understanding of it. (I'm giving myself too much credit. Even so.)
I'm wondering if, as a society who cares about vulnerable people, we could stop saying "traumatize" when we truly mean "upset"?
I am sick of hearing sad books or movies "traumatize" their readers. I simply do not believe that happens. A traumatic experience might be adjacent to books (I have vivid memories of books I was reading around certain experiences and even how the contents of those books affected my processing of the experiences). But it's not caused by the book. And, y'know. The weather is Christofascist Censorship Attempts outside.
Meanwhile from the other side I continue to be surprised at just how badly people fail to understand trauma and traumatic experiences in general. Watering down the term isn't helping. Find other hyperbole to express that The Bridge to Terebithia gutted you, chewed on your heartstrings, and made you cry your first pair of contact lenses right out of your preteen eyes.
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SUN-KISSED LIPS ★ B.Z X READER
in which Blaise takes you out on a date in Italy after your O.W.L exams
pairing: boyfriend blaise zabini x girlfriend reader tags: fluff fluff fluff!!! blaise being the best boyfriend word count: 2.3k warnings: none
author's note: thank u guys so much for the support AAAAAA i've been so motivated to write fanfics and stuff, so i'm making one for every major character i want to cover before i do repeats. unlesss someone wants to do a request :D in which case i will totally try to make something up.
SUN KISSED LIPS | B.Z X READER
Exams had been stressful, to say the least.
Potions was absolutely dreadful. Snape’s watchful eye feeling like it was zoned directly onto you, any mistake you made seemed to displease the man even further than what you thought possible. Then Charms, where you had to remember at least 50 spells within the span of maybe two minutes. The written section for Transfiguration was absolutely dreadful, as was the showcase of Mandrake handling for your Herbology exams. Not to mention the abomination of your History of Magic exam, though you felt like everyone could only recall one or two things by that point of the week. Defense Against the Dark Arts was last, the only class you felt you had done something good in.
All in all, very stressful.
And that stress was not lost on Blaise either.
Blaise, your sweet and caring boyfriend, has had to handle most of your exam stress for the past month. Most of the time though, you were shutting him out in favor of studying.
He couldn’t blame you much, the O.W.L exams were important. Not everyone could buy their way into Ministry jobs, they would have to work for it. Your work ethic was always something that Blaise truly appreciated about you.
But right now, that work ethic was getting in the way of his love life. Which obviously meant that he had to devise a plan.
“Amore mio,” he whispered, hands moving to scratch at your scalp as you leaned over your desk. “The exams are over, what’s there to be stressed about?”
“I haven’t gotten my results back yet!” you said, the bone of your palm hitting your forehead before pulling roughly at your hair. “What if I failed all of them? I mean, these exams are really important. If I fail all of them, I won’t be able to do anything with my life.”
Blaise chuckled softly at that, gently pulling your hands away from your hair before kissing the top of your head. “Bambina, we have Umbridge this year.”
“God, don’t remind me.” you groaned. “I’ll die, Blaise. Actually die. She’s going to fail all of my exams, isn’t she?”
“Love,” he chuckled, pulling up a chair and sitting next to you. “Look at me.”
Blaise watched as you sighed before looking over at him, cooing softly as he finally saw your face for what felt like years. Your eyes were dark and swollen, both from a lack of sleep and crying. Not to mention how stressed you looked all together, with a sunken face and large pout that melted away at his heart.
“Tesoro,” Blaise whispered, his hands moving to hold yours. “You passed, my love. I know you did. You’ve been studying so hard for so long there’s no way you didn’t. I promise all of the professors will easily be giving you O’s on every exam.”
“But what if I fail?” you groaned, sniffling softly.
“You won’t fail.” Blaise said sternly, squeezing your hands. He didn’t want you beating yourself down anymore. “Plus, Umbridge likes me, and by association likes you. Maybe not the best person to like you, sure. But I promise it could help with your exams, the exams you don’t need help with in the first place.”
“You’re going to use bribery to get me perfect grades?” you chuckled quietly, scooting your chair a bit closer to him.
“I don’t think my bribery would be as effective as some people’s bribery.” he muttered, fingers caressing the back of your hands. “Maybe Draco.”
“How on Earth would you bribe Draco?” you giggled softly, looking up at him.
“Hookers.” Blaise shrugged, before smirking. “Which gives me a bit of an idea.”
“We are not hiring a prostitute.” you said.
“No, but we are going to go on a date.” Blaise smirked, standing up and walking over to your wardrobe. “Do you still have that black dress I got you last month? Or maybe the red one.”
“Blaise!” you chuckled, standing up and moving to stand beside him. “Where on Earth would we even go? We haven’t made reservations or anything.”
“We don’t need those.” Blaise said, nudging you with his elbow. “Put on a nice outfit, we’re going on a date.”
“This is ridiculous.” you giggled, arms wrapped around his as the both of you walked down the sidewalks of Italy.
In the time that you took a shower, put on a nice sundress, and did your hair and makeup, Blaise had found a portkey to an Italian plaza. In Italy. The sun was still in the sky by the time they got there, the sun setting in just a couple of hours.
“What about it is ridiculous?” he asked, smiling softly down at you. “We’re going shopping.”
“Shopping in Italy!” you said, giggling softly. “Like, what about that isn’t ridiculous? Just 10 minutes ago I was at Hogwarts, now I’m in Italy.”
“It’s nothing.” he said, the both of you stopping in front of a clothing store. “I want to get you a new dress, is that okay?”
“You got me two already this month, and we’re not even halfway!” you giggled, looking up at him. “Do I really need another one?”
“This one’s from Italy though, bambina.” Blaise smiled, kissing the top of your forehead. His hand was resting on your waist, the other hand moving to open the door for you both. “Plus, you’ll need a swimsuit as well.”
“I do?” you asked confusedly.
“Yes you do, c’mon.” he smiled.
The both of you walked into the store, Blaise guiding you to the swimsuit section. The first piece there was a red and white plaid one-piece, much similar to a picnic blanket. “I think that we should have a picnic at the beach.”
“If I have to wear a picnic blanket, so do you.” you said to him, hands on your hips.
“Maybe just plain red?” he asked you.
“I suppose that works.” you muttered, grabbing one of the swimsuits and holding it by the hanger. “What kind of dress did you want to buy me anyways?”
“I was thinking black.” he muttered, his hand resting on the dip in your back as you both walked to the dress section of the shop. There were shorter dresses and small sun dresses, though your gaze immediately turned to the more elegant ones at the top. “Maybe with velvet. Or a ball gown.”
“I am not letting you buy me a ball gown.” you said, wagging your finger in his face. “That is too much!”
“But then everyone would know that you’re a princess, wouldn’t they?” he smirked, eyes darting to look at the different dresses. “That one?”
It was a black silk dress, with a shoulderless sweetheart neckline and corset at the top. It was form fitting, and probably would cover your ankles. The top part before the corset was embroidered with small black gemstones, a small pattern of them also at the bottom.
“It’s really pretty,” you whispered, your eyes darting to the price tag. “But that’s too expensive. I couldn’t possibly accept it.”
“Sure you can,” he said, grabbing the first one off the rack and holding it against you. “It’d be yours, why couldn’t you?”
“Because it’s too much!” you said to him, looking down at the dress pressed against you. “Blaise, that is way too expensive. You’ve already bought me two dresses this month, don’t you have a budget of sorts? Surely you think this is too much too.”
“I’d rather dress you up than have my dad waste the worth of this on a pack of well-patted cigars.” Blaise said, kissing your forehead as he grabbed the swimsuit from your hands.
“Oh hush,” you grumbled out loud, trying and failing to grab at the dress and swimsuit from his hands as you both made your way to the counter. “I’ll get my revenge on you one day, Mister.”
“I’m sure you will, amore mio.”
The sun was just beginning to set as you waded your way into the water, small giggles escaping your mouth at the feeling of the cold water against your legs.
“It feels funny!” you said, smiling as Blaise pulled you into a hug. “You can feel it, right?”
“I can.” he smiled, peppering your face in kisses as you continued to laugh about the feeling. “It does feel rather unique, I must say.”
“It’s tickling me.” you said, holding onto his arms like a vice as the both of you waded further in.
“Are you cold?” he asked you, the water eventually making it up to your chests now. “I can put a warming charm on you, if you want.”
“It’s meant to be cold.” you said, arms wrapping around his neck as he lifted you up to carry you. “Plus, you’re rather warm yourself anyways.”
“Am I now?” he chuckled softly.
“Yes you are.” you said, booping him on the nose.
Blaise hummed softly, his finger tapping your back a couple of times before a small radio began to play. You looked around in awe, not having noticed the scenery before you two got into the water.
The water was absolutely breathtaking, the setting sun shining against it also giving Blaise the perfect sun-kissed look. His skin was absolutely glowing, and his smile mixing with the music made you feel like you just entered a romcom.
“You’re absolutely beautiful, amore mio.” Blaise whispered, humming softly to the tune of a song you didn’t know.”
“How’d you even get us to Italy?” you asked, chuckling softly at him.
“My family is Italian.” he hummed under his breath, raising his eyebrow at you. “You know that, don’t you?”
“I do!” you pouted. “I just didn’t think you’d have a bloody Portkey to Italy.”
“Well, I do.” he chuckled softly, nuzzling his nose to yours. “And now you know.”
“Good.” you hummed, nodding softly.
The two of you stayed in the water for a long while. You waded down to where the water would hit your shoulders, Blaise following close behind you as you both started to try and dance in the water. The sun set and made way for the moon, shining down on you as echoes of your giggles filled the night.
“Why don’t we go get some dinner?” Blaise whispered softly, his lips brushing against yours. “You’ll have to try the dress back on eventually.
“I’ll race you!” you said, the both of you wading your way to the shoreline. Blaise had originally beat you, but stayed behind and let you go first.
“I win!” you giggled, smiling as Blaise patted your skin dry. “Where are we going to eat?”
“This one restaurant I know, they serve the best pasta.” he whispered, kissing your lips as the both of you walked off of the shoreline and towards the plazas again.
You and Blaise were walking to the restaurant together, hands held together as he directed you. His hands had been all over you all day, especially when he helped you put on the dress and do your hair and makeup for the date.
Which led you to where you were right now, in a black dress to match his black slacks, the both of you standing in front of a rather fancy restaurant.
“What are you going to get?” you asked him curiously, smiling softly as he walked you to a table. He pulled the chair out for you, his lips meeting yours once you sat down.
“Carbonara,” he whispered, sitting across from you after adjusting his tie. “You?”
“I don’t know much about Italian dishes,” you whispered. “I mean, I know some things. I don’t know if I know everything on this menu though.”
“Maybe you should start with something you know.” Blaise whispered, his hand moving across the table to meet yours. “Lasagna?”
“I love lasagna.” you whispered, turning the menu to the drink section. “What about drinks though? There’s just so many.”
“Anything you want, honey.” he chuckled softly. “You can get wine if you want. I’ll take you back home, okay?”
“Okay.” you smiled softly, giggling as you looked at the menu.
The waiter walked up and took your orders, the food eventually arriving with steam coming out. “This is really pretty.” you whispered.
“It is, isn’t it?” Blaise asked, chuckling softly as his fork swirled through his carbonara.
You swirled your fork around the lasagna before taking a small bite, blowing on it before placing it on your mouth. “This is so good.”
“Is it?” Blaise whispered, smiling softly. “Do you want to try some of my stuff?”
“It looks really good,” you whispered softly, scooting a bit forward in your chair as he handed you a small bite. “Thank you.”
“Does it taste good?” he asked, smiling softly.
“It does.” you whispered, smiling brightly at the taste of it. “I love both of them. And this wine, it’s also really good too.”
“Is it?” Blaise asked, chuckling at that. “Do you want a bottle to take back to Hogwarts?”
“We can do that?” you asked.
“Yes we can.” Blaise nodded, smiling softly.
“We so should!” you said, taking another sip of your glass of wine.
“Merlin,” he whispered softly, his hand caressing yours. “I love you.”
You both had made your way back to Hogwarts, your feet stumbling as Blaise helped you down into the dungeons. Down the stairs, through the Common Rooms, and down to his dormitory. His scent wrapped around you as he wrapped you in his blankets, a small smile coming on your face as you realized it.
“Thank you,” you whispered, your eyes looking up at Blaise with a sleepy expression. “For this.”
You felt a lot better despite your impending test results, a lot calmer than you were not seven hours ago. This date was probably one of the best things that had ever happened to you.
“It’s okay,” Blaise whispered, his hand caressing your cheek as he kissed your forehead. “You need some rest, can you get some for me?”
“Okay.” you whispered, nodding softly.
AUTHOR'S NOTE
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAa this one was so fun to write oh my gawsh. beta-reading still sucks, but hey i got it done!
as alwayss, please like, comment, reblog, or whatever jazz you feel like doing. it really really helps out a lot more then you guys think it does, and i really really really appreciate it. if you have any requests, i have a masterlist full of characters i plan on writing for! so go check all that out, and have a great day!
#blaise zabini#blaise x reader#blaise zabini x reader#blaise zabini x you#blaise zabini x y/n#fluff#extra fluff#fanfic#fanfiction#harry potter fanfiction
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Why am I spending so much time staring at the show's backgrounds to talk about doors? Listen. Don't worry about it.
Rambling on about Stan's control over his mindscape made me curious so I skimmed over some episodes to check out a certain detail...
You can see that the door Stan conjured up during his deal with Bill has a diamond window and to me, there's only one door in the Shack comes to mind.
And that makes sense! During the deal with Bill, Stan recreated the living room where he feels most at home and the most himself, and the porch door is the entrance to the home part of the Shack where he doesn't have to put up the Mr Mystery front
But the thing is; the handle isn't quite right and its consistently the same throughout the series, except...
When Stan first arrived in Gravity Falls and reunited with Ford.
Overall, the diamond door appears pretty prominently in Stan's mindscape:
It acts as entrance to the main section of his mindscape
It's the Dipper memory door, where Memory!Stan has his own flashbacks (with the doors in the hall opening up by themselves as Stan talks about each memory) and was able interact with Dipper to explain how the mindscape works
And it's his Hope door (aka where he was still hoping that he could save Ford)
(Of course not all of the diamond doors were important. Unless you think him being stuck in stocks all afternoon counts-- wait whaddya mean those things are actually called pillories??? and stocks are for ankles?????)
But the thing is, the porch door is made out of one entire piece and is noticeably missing that wood panel on the bottom of the Deal door... but that did remind me of something else--
The Shack door that has this panel detail is the one to the twins' room. And I doubt this is too far of a leap because this door is also made of planks and its edges seem kinda ramshackle too.
Another detail I noticed is that the Deal door seems to be greyscale on the outside but colored on the inside to match the interior. (I'm saying "seems" cos it's kinda inconsistent in the actual scene but whatever-- sometimes it's colored, sometimes it ain't!)
What I'm getting at is I think the only door in Stan's mindscape we saw before that had color inside was the Dipper memory one. (Personally, I think it's the unique case of the memory door being in the same position as where the porch door actually is, so it ends up acting as both- if that makes sense? One side has a handle, the other a door knob). But behind both of these doors, we get a pretty confident mindscape!Stan
Anyway my point is that the Deal door is a fusion of the porch door that represents both the Shack being his home and his reunion with Ford, and of the attic door representing the twins--
...or maybe a door is just a door! Who knows!
Another tidbit is his Dipper memories door being represented by a pine tree when we know they knew each other for a few days before Dipper got that hat (something something, this episode firmly establishing Dipper's zodiac symbol with Bill nicknaming him that even though the crew didn't have plans for the Zodiac at this point)
but I'm honestly surprised that the door for Ford's room wasn't used in Dreamscaperers cos look at it--
It's just so fancy!
Of course there's the elephant in the living room of "...But what about the border around the diamond window that's unique to the deal door? That sticks out a lot!" To which i say: i dunno lol
#this was supposed to be a quick addition to my stan mindscape post that was 'look!!! the deal door is actually the porch door!!!'....#i caught a cold i can make as many crackpot theories as i want!!!#(said theories and posts are just me crying 'he loves his family so much' over and over again)#stan pines#stanley pines#gravity falls#gf meta#stan replacing the broken porch door when making the shack his home but making sure to keep it a diamond window....
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The basegame wedding dress has a pregnancy morph??
#I can never be positive if something in my game is like. a third-party launcher addition#but this is so funny and I had such a strong hunch#because rushing to have your Sim get married before they give birth is such a thing so many players would do!!#and it would be so funny to pay attention to that detail by having the wedding dress show the bump!!!!#all your sim's wedding photos very obviously giving away the reason for the rushed date HAHA#the dress with the pendant at the back that everyone default replaces off (the one with the knife texture) also has a preg morph#which I know because it's the one your Sims get forced into if they attend a wedding#but it's kind of unusual because pregnant Sims don't have the opportunity to change into formal wear?#like pregnant Sims get new undies pyjamas and swimwear in addition to their maternity outfit#and if you direct a pregnant Sim to change into one of them then it changes them into the appropriate maternity fit instead of their usual#but you can't direct them to change into formal and if you use a hacked option like the shop any-wear rack it uses their usual non morph fi#so it has to be something external like a wedding that triggers them to change into formal. and I have no idea why#does this mean there's a BG suit with a preg morph for men??#or did maxis not think that pregnant male Sims would be quite so desperate to get married#anyway I'm probably the last person to know about this LMAO and I'm sure no one cares bc everyone uses wear-anything mods#but I'm a scrub who still prefers to use the default maternity meshes so this is yuge to me#also if you've never seen this dress b4: in the early game all Sims getting married under an arch used to be forced into the same outfits#actually I can't remember if the men got forced into the same suit or if they just used their regular formal#because most BG formal outfits for men were mostly wedding-appropriate#but at any rate. all women wore the same wedding dress. and it was this .... beauty#and I don't remember with which EP it changed but probably pretty early on they just let Sims use their regular formal wear for weddings#so you could pick their wedding dress yourself#but this dress remained hidden by default (I think?) so ironically it meant you COULDN'T use the wedding dress even if you wanted to#also this is completely off topic but you would also go away for your honeymoon#which meant the Sims getting married would literally get driven away in a limousine and stay off-world for a while#it was kind of cute because it really was like they took a vacation from the player too. got up to their own mischief away from your contro#then with bon voyage they introduced ACTUAL vacations and they turned honeymoons into an actual game mechanic#but again these offworld honeymoons are no longer a possibility#kind of like teens 'going out' with permission got replaced by going out on actual outings/dates even though it was a cute event#wow this note section is long and irrelevant. anyway enjoy picking up your wedding dress from a store called 'It's Not Too Late'
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I don't really have much to add, I just wanna second these:
The Arai manga is easily the best choice IMO, but of course you can't watch it, so it depends on how your friend feels about comics I guess? But it's seriously so good, absolutely amazing at capturing the emotions and the vibe of the story, as well as being a very faithful adaptation too
1934 is a very good introduction, but obviously it's pretty long and if your friend isn't used to old movies, the style might be a bit distracting (also make sure it's the French 1934 movie and not the American 1935 movie, because that's a very different film and sometimes those two get mixed up ahsjdkf) It's not as faithful but it does have the right energy. It's a lot like the musical in terms of accuracy and vibes, but not as abridged and it's not a musical (well it does have singing but it's all diegetic) Absolutely amazing Valjean in Harry Baur, and I really enjoy this Cosette as well. I also think this one has the best Gillenormand, by which I mean he's hilariously shitty in exactly the way he should be
1972 is my favourite adaptation but I don't think it's a good introduction to Les Mis, I feel like it would work best as a companion to 1934 because it focuses on exactly the parts of the story that the 1934 movie doesn't adapt very accurately. 1972 has the best Marius and the best Éponine IMO, and the best Gavroche, and the best Amis, and the best Javert, and the best Thénardier
The 1925 silent film is probably the most accurate film adaptation, and it's one of the best adaptations of Les Mis I've ever seen, but it's like seven hours long and I know silent films are a bit of an acquired taste. It genuinely is amazing though, I especially love Milovanoff's Fantine. She's my favourite Fantine ever. This one also has a great Myriel and it actually adapts the Myriel section in detail.
OH AND ALSO: a lot of it was filmed in the real locations! The Digne parts were filmed in the real Digne, the Montreuil-sur-Mer parts were filmed in the real Montreuil-sur-Mer!
And it doesn't have the weaknesses that other screen adaptations do, it adapts the whole story faithfully, without changing any big plot points or skimming anything important
(Arai's manga also does that, it has no major plot changes and it's very complete. It might also be better for more modern tastes because the silent movie is obviously very old)
What is the best adaptation to introduce my friend to Les mis?
So like the title said I want to introduce one of my friends to Les mis bc I know she will really like it and loves the themes of the story, she agreed to let me show her an adaptation to get her into it, but idk with which adaptation I should choose to get her into it
I've heard the shoujo cousette is good and complete (I've only watched the first episode for now) but I worry it might be too long for someone completely new to Les mis? Ik the musical is probably also a solid entry point but my friend also isn't really into Musicals so I'm not sure it's the best to get her into it but I could convince her to watch it she's not that much against them, but if there's a better entry point I'll take it
My favorite adaptation is the 1982 one but it's also very strange and I'm not sure how book accurate it is compared to other adaptations so idk if it'd be a good adaptation
So I'm not sure what adaptation to show her first and would appreciate any input to with what adaptation to introduce her to Les mis!
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The poem evokes human greatness and human vulnerability. People are “godlike” in their courage and skill, but even the greatest mortals fall and clutch the dust between their bloody fingers. The beautiful word minunthadios , “short-lived,” is used of both Achilles and Hector, and applies to all of us. We die too soon, and there is no adequate recompense for the terrible, inevitable loss of life. Yet through poetry, the words, actions, and feelings of some long-ago brief lives may be remembered even three thousand years later.
--Emily Wilson's introduction to the Iliad
#so. we've come to the Iliad section in my Early World Literature class. and in that context we're utilizing the public domain translation by#A. S. Kline which made me think: you know what would be extremely fucking cool? since I'm going to have access to the Kline text until#the course closes in December. why don't I at least start the Wilson version and see how the two translations differ? so I'm now reading#The Iliad#as translated by Wilson and performed by the utterly masterful Audra McDonald. or well. I _would be except I'm so delighted. stunned. by#the incisive thought-provokingness of her introduction I keep needing to pause and write down various quotes: just this whole idea of#the poem revolving around how all all our deaths shall come too soon and there is no adequate compensation for that awful fact just FUCK#linguistics#mythology#folklore#fairy tales#lit geekery#book babbling#(oh I am already so fucking deep in this fannish hell and I haven't even really started her translation: like the Kline one is fine. but#it's very focused on *trying* to be Homeric you know? so there are all these very archaic references ala to Apollo#as Smintheus. which I then have to stop and look up oh. that means he's the mouse god and being the mouse god is important because#it ties back to him being an oracular god. which is then why the Greeks want to turn to another oracular god when he gets all pissy at them#and on one level. learning that mice were associated with the power of prophecy? extremely cool shit. on the other. well I have to#read a large chunk of this text in a fucking week Kline my good bud was it really necessary to provide an odd mouse reference I then#needed to find the context for *myself* I can already tell Wilson's tendency to provide context. both in the intro and just in general#wanting to make it readable terms will make this so! much easier of an introduction. (Kline. by contrast. would be really fucking cool if#you were a third-time reader and wanted all the marvelous nuance. just *rubs forehead* not a great intro when you're only focusing on#this text for a fucking week)
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#numel#y'know what. sure. why not. nose‚ i guess. fuck it. nose. why not can't see their eyes or mouth. just nose. sure. fuck it#i think numel's typing is *really* interesting. 4x weakness to water my belovèd but i just really like fire/ground. it's very cool imo#and numel themself is also cute. they wouldn't strike me as a fire-type at first glance but i like it! i don't think about it very often but#i like it. very slow‚ always has their mouth open. they look so confused all the time. its really good. their little ear wiggle in colosseum#i don't know exactly what they're supposed to be animal wise but i guess camerupt is like. a cow? bull? thing? maybe a camel?#because. numel. nu camel. but then what does the “nu” mean. new camel. lemme see what bulbapedia's trivia section says#“numb” and “camel”?? i dunno if i believe that. but it does say they're based on a specific type of camel “mixed with a volcano” which is#really funny phrasing to me. interesting! thank you bulbapedia trivia section for also telling me it's apparently carvanha's counterpart
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Genuine, weird question, and I don't mean this to start drama nor with the intention of personally defending Gary Russell... but do we as a fandom know for sure he's the one who gave the "death stare"?
I just ask as I remember looking this up a while ago while doing some research and of course finding the "Behind the Scenes" mention on the wiki:
[ID: An extract from a TARDIS.wiki "Behind the Scenes" section: "David A. McIntee once pitch a Fifth Doctor novel which would instead have revealed the Doctor and the Master as former spouses, in a plotline allegedly inspired by War of the Roses. The pitch was refused with a "death-stare" from Gary Russell.]
...which cites this post on Tumblr by David A. McIntee:
[ID: Extract from McIntee's post: "Mind you, back in my day they often wouldn't us. You should have seen the look I got when I pitched a story in which the subplot between Doctor and Master (Five and Ainley, if you must know - the main plot was the Master's conviction for genocide and depending on the Doctor to get him off, while Tegan wanted him executed, and Nyssa went rogue to bust him out cos he was partly her dad…) was that they were ex-spouses, inspired by the novel and film War Of The Roses. I think that one got the worst death-stare, equalled only by the Bollywood musical episode Jim Mortimore and I wanted to co-write for Big Finish. (The actual BBC response, according to Gary Russell, was "Over your dead bodies.")"]
I might be missing some info elsewhere, or misinterpreting what McIntee meant, but actually reading the paragraph, it doesn't seem to connect Russell to the rejected FiveAinley pitch at all?
Note that while Russell is mentioned, he seems instead to have been passing on the BBC's response to McIntee and Jim Mortimore's Bollywood musical Big Finish story. It's not even clear if he was the one responsible for that rejection, though it's not out of the question. Note that, while it could technically be referring to the previous subject, McIntee's parenthesis's second-hand quote says "over your dead bodies" (plural), presumably referring to him and Mortimore. (I guess he could technically be referring to himself and McIntee, which might fit the requirement for a "BBC response" more, but I dunno...)
This also makes a lot more sense to me given that, as far as I'm aware (and I could be wrong tbf), Gary Russell was never an editor for BBC or Virgin Books? He WAS, however, the editor for Doctor Who Magazine, a script editor for the TV series, and, more importantly, an executive producer for Big Finish, which seems to match this interpretation.
Is it possible that whoever first wrote the fact onto the wiki simply misinterpreted the paragraph? It did come from Tumblr, and this is the "piss-poor" reading comprehension website after all...
It also wouldn't be the first time the wiki had misinformation on it. Remember Millennia's blue hair, or the "Scendles / Scendeles" debate? One time, when researching my "Gallifreyan Astrophysics" project I even found that someone had seemingly invented a bunch of fake Karn and Polarfreyan moons which they falsely attributed to Lungbarrow. When searching for a source I found them in a fanfic, though who knows if that or the wiki article came first.
This being said, if I'm wrong and it turns out there is clearer evidence Gary Russell was the one who rejected the pitch, then by all means please do add on!
Gary Russel has got to be one of the strangest contributors to Doctor Who. Guy who has had a substantial impact on the canon of the show, while also never writing or directing a single episode. He gave us one of the worst Big Finish audios ever written, but he also gave us fucking Zagreus. He allegedly shut down the Canon Fiveainley Novel Pitch with a "death glare", but also wrote the book that's basically considered the Academy Era Thoschei Bible at this point. What a guy
#from what I can tell the Virgin editing team was made up of Peter Darvill-Evans; Rebecca Levene and Simon Winstone#Stephen Cole and Justin Richards were also BBC Books range editors#do we have more info on the editing teams? I remember Lawrence Miles posting about some of the discussions on his blog#reblog#Gary Russell#David A. McIntee#Doctor Who#Virgin Missing Adventures#Past Doctor Adventures#Doctor Who EU
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about reth's hairstyle, it's not locs guys alhdg it's a somewhat fantasy-esque hairstyle where his straight hair is long but twisted back and tied to keep it in place. we don't see it in the official art, but his in game model has multiple hair ties throughout the length of the pieces to keep his hair in that style. this hairstyle is doable in real life if you use that many ties
obviously these models don't show every single strand of hair but the official art backs up the fact that it's straight (note the individual strands that are loose)
you can see here that it's straight hair just twisted into individual pieces. you can also see in both the model and art that the end of his hair goes straight down and has clear separated strands. it wouldn't do this if his hair was locd (you'll notice that sifuu and hassian have blunt, round ends to their locs)
his in game model does have some pieces that don't have any ties so it's possible that those are locs but honestly, i doubt it. i'm gonna go out on a limb and say it has more to do with the hair being in the back and not needing as much detail. or the devs didn't want clipping issues since the back pieces are grouped so close together and his ties come up quite a bit. either way, his hair is most likely straight and just in weird ponytails basically. and if it is meant to be locs, then they're modeled badly aldhg especially in comparison to hassian and sifuu
#his modeled hair also doesnt have a texture to it unlike hassian and sifuu#and by texture i mean you can see that their hair is likely in the type 4 range and definitely not straight#personally i think they wanted to give reth longer hair but needed to come up with a style that would keep it out of the way#hence twisted back in weird ponytails#reth#there are also some player hairstyles that are locd and again you can see clear texture and zero straight hair strands#its just like. when you compare reth's hair to the player options and npcs that Definitely have locs there's a noticeable difference#if the devs wanted him to have locs then they modeled it badly#and im not trying to be mean here#if his hair is meant to be locd but originally straight it still wouldnt look the way it does in game#it definitely Looks straight but twisted back in large sections and tied together#which isnt what locd hair looks like.. and the devs clearly know that because the actual locd hairstyles in the game look fine#anyway i just wanted to give my two cents aldhg
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have to admit it following that last post, if we're shipping im 9/10 times rereading the media and looking at certain parts through a ship tinted glass set. i put it on the dash sometimes rather than dms because i'm extremely nervous that i'm going to come off as too much but, you know, i'm working on that.
#❛ 𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 ⧽ — ooc.#not to get too deep on main but i always worry not messaging as opposed to posting on dash makes me seem less interested#but its more like me wanting to express it in a way my partner knows im constantly thinking of them and their muse :^) i wanna get more int#sending fanart / hcs / things that make me soft bc then it stops me from wroking with a 50+ bookmark section dgfhdjsdhss#shipping means a lot to me because in turn the other muns portrayal / oc becomes even MORE important to me than before. and my muse as well#this is why i become hesitant if it feels like someone is shipping more for just the /character/ than my portrayal of them.#( which is super valid btw! you should inact everything on your blog for you. not someone elses taste! )#it just. really doesn't work well with me and i usually would take a step back if thats how you felt#the reason why i have so many random oocs or very large rel pinterest boards bc i am constantly thinking of them#if i messaged my partners as much as i thought about them id worry theyd end up with so many messages itd feel overwhelming#i blame old friends but if thats something people like ... then maybe ...#i have a few messages to get to so i might spend the rest of the night working on those <3
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so i never said this to anyone and bottling this up is exhausting so i'm just gonna vomit it here. PLEASE SENSITIZE CHILDREN TO ART.
#raj shitposting#so on new year's eve my apartment complex decided to have like a little carnival and people were invited to set up stalls for their stuff#so my mother is a mix media artist and i FORCED her to set up a stall which i kinda sorta regret now because of this thing that happened#so we were setting up our stall and a little boy comes up and wants to purchase something from the jewelry section and when we#tell him the price of the piece he calls my MOTHER'S ART A SCAM. A SEVEN YEAR OLD BOY WHO DOESN'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO SPELL PHOTOSYNTHESIS!!!#WHO DOESN'T KNOW WHAT A SCAM ACTUALLY IS. CALLS MY MOTHER'S ENTIRE ART A SCAM.#i wanted to smack him so hard across the face but my mother held me back and told me to calm down and asked him to get lost.#but the entire day our mood was rotten about this#PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF FUCKING GOD TELL YOUR CHILDREN THAT IT'S NOT OKAY TO INSULT SOMEONE'S WORK LIKE THAT!!!!!!!#YOU IMBECILE IT'S EXPENSIVE BECAUSE IT REQUIRES SKILL AND MATERIAL THAT IS DIFFICULT TO PROCURE AND KNOWLEDGE THAT IN ITSELF IS HELLA-#-EXPENSIVE TO GATHER!!!!!#ART IS INVALUABLE GUYS WHY DO YOU THINK OUR PARENTS PRESERVE THOSE STUPID ASS CRAYON LANDSCAPES FROM OUR CHILDHOOD?????#he might be a child and not know what any of this means but he could just back off... this is NOT curiosity it's mean spiritedness#and FUCKING RUDE#i was a child sometime in my life. i never talked shit like that to a 40 YEAR OLD AND TALKED BACK WHEN THEY ASKED ME TO BACK OFF#smh#anti intellectualism#art
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Prev tags @supersymmetries
#the mic... let him speak! (does anyone know which songs he does/did backup vocals for live?)
Supermassive Black Hole — ‘De-de-de-de-de-de-de-de’ (dead of night)
Can’t Take My Eyes Off You — ‘baa dap baa da baa da da dada baa da baa da daaa’
The Globalist — Dom does the vocalisations along with Chris over the heavy riff countdown. Live you get to see the most pleased-as-punch Dom importantly adjusting his mic stand up to sing :)
Apparently he’s been doing Uprising backing vocals live too, and Break It To Me through a vocoder was the first time Dom’s vocals were on a studio track since the ill-fated Blackout crowd vocals…
And of course, the entire Muse family, including Dom, does the crowd chants on Will Of The People! I wonder if Dom's on the vocoder backing vocals on Compliance? It sounds like just Matt, and the credits only single out Will Of The People. His backing vocals on Break It To Me were through a vocoder as well.
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I had to gif it.
Dom setting up his mic and doing the backing vocals on The Globalist live, for all your viewing pleasure.
#Dom Howard#Muse band#muse live#I realise the beginning of this is the most incomprehensible a post I've ever written#muse#but I think you know which sections I mean#The Globalist clip is from live shows in Melbourne in 2017#Dom on vocals
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was looking through old posts and i'm surprised to see that i seemingly didn't have any commentary on anything in 3 in chapter 7, 8 or 9, the posts related to 3's story go from "my first reaction when i saw yopple-bot was 'i love you. but also you are definitely the boss for this chapter-'" to "i have been in hell all day. hell being bada-bing tower." funny to me cuz those chapters are like, the best ones sdfkljsdfjfsdkjlfsdjkl-
#puppy rambles#yo-kai watch#yw3#i love dukesville. yo-kai watch wild west. though also everyone in bbq talks like they're in the wild west-#i don't blame myself for not having any commentary on hazeltine mansion tbh. it sucks ass. i mean it's kind of fun but like#god is it annoying. i think using the mechanic of switching between nate and hailey for puzzles is a cool idea but. bad execution#very bad execution. it is so annoying#especially the section where you're in the basement and have to use the drill a bunch#... why are there prison cells in the basement anyways??????? i just realized how fucking weird that is-#i'm mostly just annoyed by the dining room puzzle tbh. i KNOW the fucking answers but verygoodsir is an ASSHOLE for some reason#and won't let me choose the FUCKING CORRECT DOORS#3's so fucking amazing tbh. i really wanna replay it soon. don't wanna have to delete a save file though#wish 3 had three save files like 1 and 2. i get why though i mean it's the biggest 3ds game klsfdjfskjfsdjksdf-#i wanna like. actually use my originyan for once. i might just end up using nyases ii instead tho fsdkljjdsfjskd-#i love every chapter in 3 after nate and hailey meet tbh. the bestie moments are so good#though also i don't think it was an amazing idea tbh. it means there's six main characters after that point#sometimes one character will go several cutscenes without talking at all. it's usually buck#he doesn't have any dialogue during any of the key quests in new yo-kai city. which is pretty amusing admittedly#i think the writers just forgot about him or something fslkdjdfslkjfsdljkdf-#i think my favorite thing related to that is like. during the stuff in bada-bing tower komasan and komajiro are there too#but they don't have any dialogue. which makes it seem kind of pointless#i get why they're there plot-wise but like. at that point you should either have them leave before you go to bada-bing tower#(esp since they don't end up in the ufo with everyone else. idr if there's a reason for that there probably isn't-)#(i think i slightly blocked out everything in bada-bing tower cuz it is so grueling)#or just. give them dialogue???#i love 3 and all but it definitely has some problems-#which is why i'm so excited to rewrite it <3 for both of those reasons. i can fix things. and also it's the best game#just. full-stop. not just the best yo-kai watch. i just think it's the best game ever#that title changes based on my current biggest hyperfixation though sfldfsjdkslfdjkfdj-#i think i'd say my overall top 5 is like. yo-kai watch 3. deltarune. ummmm. fantasy life is up there
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:)
#A nice episode :) I have a lot of headache tho and forgot everything I wanted to say#The ss/kk is nice :) It's nice every time Akutagawa spontaneously saves Atsushi seemingly with no reason to#The animation was very nice! It's evident a lot of money and effort went into this season and these last episodes in particular#And I like the art style a lot better than the one in the other seasons. Even season 4 where the animation is comparatively as good#What more. The Kyouka screentime is nice. The whole Guild aftermath celebrations section is very nice and heartwarming to watch#I still take a lot of issues with the entire way Kyouka's entrance exam was conceived but I think they're fairly self-explanatory.#Also fundamentally coherent with b/sd's general worldviews so#But even then there's a line that bothers me to an unexplainable amount from the first time I watched it to now.#The “it hurts” when she's hugging Atsushi. And I've reflected over that line so long from the moment I first heard it...#I think. Its meaning is to symbolize how being in the light sometimes will still result to be too overwhelming for Kyouka–#to the point at times it will still end up hurting her. But that doesn't make it any less worth it#So to say‚ there's no such thing as perfect happy endings. But she is going to be okay nonetheless#BUT IT STILL BUGS ME. I feel like it's part of a school of thought for whom we should just accept the fact that there's evil in the world–#that we can't eradicate. And nothing can be done about it. Which I don't think is a functional or useful way of thinking?#ALSO I know it's. Most definitely‚ 99% not how the scene is supposed to be interpreted#BUT ATSUSHI IS THE ONE HUGGING AND THUS HURTING HER and you know how there is this very slight narrative that seemingly–#frames Kyouka and Atsushi as romantic partners and like... Idk.#In that context the line almost feels expression of a narrative of wives having to bear pain that is natural and unavoidable.#I know this definitely wasn't the intended meaning it's just a bad impression for some reason I can't be able to shrug off even after years#But don't listen to me#I don't think there's anything else to add. Overall a very good episode.#Take a shot every time someone says “all according to Dazai's plan”#random rambles
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