#but I think when he first met Thanos he was so hurt and broken and frustrated and furious and filled with hate for everyone including himsel

[luvfae]

WITHDRAWALS

summary: after a year of no contact, su-bong shows up on your doorstep in tears.

parings: thanos/choi su-bong x f!reader

warnings: smut, oral (thanos receiving), mention of addiction, drug withdrawals, swearing.

You and Thanos had broken up over a year ago.

Going no contact was the hardest decision you’d ever made, but it was necessary. Cutting ties with someone who had once been your world felt like tearing out a piece of your own soul, but loving him was killing you.

His drug habit had spiraled into a full-blown addiction, and no amount of pleading or begging could get him to see reason. You couldn’t save someone who didn’t want to be saved. So one night, with a note left on the kitchen counter, you disappeared from his life.

Since then, you’d rebuilt yourself. A stable job, a cozy apartment, and college classes that filled your days with purpose. You were piecing together a life you could be proud of, even if sometimes, late at night, memories of him crept in.

So when you heard a knock on your door past midnight, your heart twisted with a premonition.

“Who the hell…?” you muttered, setting aside your textbooks as you padded to the door. “Hello?

“Y/N, it’s me.”

That voice—hoarse and broken—cut through you like a knife.

“Su-bong?” Disbelief and dread knotted in your stomach. “What are you doing here? How do you even know where I live?”

“I ran into your friend,” he admitted, shame thick in his tone. “She told me.”

You made a mental note to reevaluate your friendships, but that was the least of your worries. Through the door, you could hear it—the edge of desperation in his voice, the quiver that spoke of tears held back too long.

“Please let me in,” he whispered. “I… I don’t know where else to go.”

Against every instinct screaming at you to keep the door closed, you opened it.

He collapsed into your arms, a tangle of limbs and choked sobs. You wrapped your arms around him, rubbing circles into his back as he clung to you like a lifeline.

“What’s wrong?” you asked, pulling back just enough to see his face—eyes bloodshot, cheeks hollowed by a suffering you couldn’t begin to understand.

“I’m two days clean,” he confessed, voice cracking. “I’m going fucking insane. Everything hurts.”

You sighed, a mix of relief and sadness washing over you. “Why are you here, Su-bong?”

He shrugged, wiping at his eyes. “You’re the only person I can think about now that I’m sober. I needed to see you. I needed to apologize for everything I did.”

His hands trembled, and you could see the raw pain of withdrawal etched into every line of his body. You guided him to the couch, disappearing briefly into the kitchen to make him tea—exactly how he liked it. Some details you couldn’t forget, no matter how hard you tried.

When you sat beside him, he took a shaky sip, eyes downcast. “I’m sorry,” he repeated, voice barely more than a whisper.

“It’s okay,” you replied, though you knew you were lying to both of you. It wasn’t okay. But his vulnerability chipped away at the walls you’d built, and you couldn’t bring yourself to push him away.

“It’s not okay,” he insisted, setting the mug down with a trembling hand. “I put you through hell. I took the best thing in my life and destroyed it.”

Tears brimmed in your eyes, not from longing but from the ache of seeing him so broken. “I’ve moved on, Su-bong. I’ve had to.”

“I haven’t,” he admitted, voice thick with guilt. “I think my grieving was numbed by all the drugs. Now you’re all I can think about. I fucked up so badly.”

He pulled you into a tight hug, his arms wrapping around you like he was afraid you’d vanish. And maybe you should have pulled away, set boundaries, protected yourself. But the old wounds still ached, and some part of you needed closure that hadn’t come from silence and distance.

Without thinking, you cupped his face in your hands, your thumbs brushing the tear tracks on his cheeks. Then your lips met his, soft and tentative at first, a tentative crossing of a line you thought you’d never touch again.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled against your lips, his breath mingling with yours.

“Shh,” you murmured, your forehead resting against his. “Let me make you feel better.”

His eyes flickered with confusion and longing. “Why would you want to? After everything I did…?”

“I don’t know,” you confessed, voice raw with honesty. “Maybe because part of me still cares. Maybe because I want to believe you can be better. That we can be better.”

You straddled his lap, your arms looping around his neck as your lips sought his again, deeper this time. His hands hesitated before finding your waist, gripping like he needed the anchor.

In the back of your mind, you knew this was dangerous—inviting old wounds to reopen, risking the stability you’d fought to build. But in that moment, wrapped up in the heat of his mouth and the desperate clutch of his hands, you couldn’t bring yourself to care.

Your fingers fumbled with the buckle of his jeans, and he lifted his hips just enough for you to drag them down, his boxers following.

But before you could go any further, Su-bong’s hand wrapped around your wrist, his touch warm, trembling. His eyes searched yours, clouded with exhaustion, with longing, with something unspoken.

“You don’t have to,” he whispered.

“I know.” You leaned in, pressing a soft, lingering kiss to his lips. “I want to. Do you?”

He nodded, almost instantly. Of course he did—he had never once denied himself the pleasure of you.

You slipped onto your knees, the carpet soft against your skin.

Your hand wrapped around him, stroking slowly until he hardened under your touch.

Then, you leaned forward, running your tongue along the underside of his cock, your eyes flickering up to meet his. His breath hitched, fingers twitching at his sides before they found their place tangled in your hair.

And then—

That groan. That deep, desperate sound that had been imprinted in your memory like a scar.

Fuck, you had missed him.

As much as you wished you hadn’t, you had.

You took him into your mouth, warm and familiar, and his head dropped back against the couch, a shuddering breath escaping his lips. You worked him with slow, deliberate movements, your tongue flicking, your fingers squeezing—anything to pull him from the pain of his withdrawals, to give him something else to focus on.

“Fuck,” he choked out, his grip on your hair tightening. “You’re so beautiful.”

His voice cracked, and when you looked up, tears were slipping down his cheeks.

You hesitated.

“Keep going,” he said, barely above a whisper.

So you did.

You took him deeper, hollowing your cheeks, working your hand in sync with your lips, dragging him to the edge with each bob of your head. His moans turned into breathless, desperate whimpers, hips rocking involuntarily against your face.

He came down your throat, a broken groan spilling from his lips, his whole body shaking beneath you.

You swallowed, gasping for air as you pulled away, licking the taste of him from your lips.

His hands found you instantly, pulling you back into his lap, holding you close. His lips trailed over your forehead, your temple, your cheek, then finally—finally—your mouth.

“I missed you so much,” he murmured against your lips. His arms tightened around you, as if afraid you’d disappear all over again. “You hurt me so fucking bad when you left.”

Your fingers slipped into his hair—the hair you once knew as black, now dyed a deep shade of purple.

“I called you so many times,” he continued, his voice raw, fragile. “Just hoping, by some miracle, you’d unblock me.”

You swallowed the lump in your throat. “I had to leave, Su-bong.”

“I know.” He exhaled, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “I know, baby.”

For a long moment, neither of you spoke. You just sat there, wrapped in each other, breathing in the weight of everything you had been, everything you had lost.

Then—soft, hesitant—he asked, “Do you think we could ever be us again?”

You hummed, running your fingers through his hair, pulling him closer. “We could work it out,” you said.

His grip tightened. “I don’t deserve you.”

“I know you don’t.” You smiled, just barely. “But I’m willing to try—if you promise to stay clean.”

His breath hitched, his hands pressing against your lower back.

“This is the Su-bong I fell in love with.”

His forehead dropped against yours. He was shaking again, but it wasn’t from withdrawals this time.

“I’ll stay clean,” he whispered. His lips ghosted over yours, his hands cradling your face like you were something fragile. Something worth saving. “For you.”

A pause.

“I promise.”

[violet-eng]

🔞🔥 Thanos / Su-bong x fem!reader | SG AU

Summary: You and Thanos/Su-bong are best friends. You like another man, though your heart breaks when at a party you see him go to a room with another girl. That's when your best friend Su-bong, who you know is madly in love with you, comforts you. Things escalate when you ask him to spend the night with you to find out what it feels like to be fucked by someone who loves you.

Tw: Smut (soft?), little dialogue, Thanos is mentally normal/stable here, slowburn, porn? with plot, breast playing, mention of alcohol, mention of drugs, p i v, unprotected sex. I think that's it. MDNI 🔞🔥

A/N: This was in my drafts, not edited, english is not my first lang.

I haven't written in a while btw, in case you feel cringe or something

Enjoy

wc: 3,5k

You watched him lose himself in the crowd with her, his hand encircling her fingers, the grip natural and fluid, as if they were made for each other. He seemed so oblivious to their surroundings, to the tumult that jostled them and the noise that consumed them, because there was only her. And you, from the corner of the kitchen, holding that glass of tequila with who knows what in it, felt your world disintegrate, your heart shattering, sinking into a lament that seemed to go on forever. Nothing more cumbersome than the abandonment of your first and only love, the indifference that cuts like a dagger, bruising every aspect of your dignity. You knew where they were going, you knew that the door to the master bedroom would close behind them and that he would wrap his arms around her as he vowed her a future and professed overflowing love. That should be you, because no one was going to love him like you loved him.

And it hurt, your heart burned with remorse at the thought of them, of him being an explorer of her body. You left the glass in the kitchen, you hadn't noticed the stuffy nose, the feelings trapped in your chest, the way the petty, foolish heart hammered desperately in search of a way out, of something to soothe the pain.

You left the house for air, escaping the music and the party, clinging to your coat and your last yearnings, hoping to vanish the scene seen in the cold night air.

You looked at the moon, round over the city, so stupidly romantic while you were so miserably alone, broken, crumbling.

“It's freezing outside, señorita” the voice next to you shook you.

“Su-bong” you articulated the words turning to him, hand covering your nose in an attempt to subdue the absurd feelings about to overflow, “I didn't see you.”

“Of course not” the words trailed a hidden intention, approaching you with the vape in his hand, walking slowly and almost rhythmically, “did something happen?”

Su-bong didn't behave like that with the rest of the people, but you were his favorite person, maybe the only living being that, according to his own words, didn't cause him repulsion.

Su-bong's touch, unlike his everyday manner, was delicate, subtle, almost nonexistent. He adjusted your coat and lifted your chin, his fingers gingerly holding your chin.

His eyes hid a poem, an implicit adoration. Though he had professed his love for you before and you had denied it, he wouldn't give up, never would, because to him you were the only thing worthwhile. And you knew it.

And all that, plus the tequila, and the magnificent full moon night, did nothing but make you vulnerable with him.

The tears didn't stop once they came out, the whimpers were embarrassing, like a little girl, you threw yourself into his arms to cry, so broken and disappointed in your own attitude and reaction.

“Why does he want her?” you clung to his back, his arms around your figure, his hands caressing the fabric of your clothes against your back, your face sunk into his chest as he hovered over you. And there, while you felt as small as you were fragile, he cared for you as you crumbled into shameful moans.

“What's wrong with me, Su-bong?” your eyes met his, and Su-bong, in how unempathetic and sensitive he is, wailed as he watched his world lose itself in agony for a wretch. His palms cupped your cheeks, and his forehead found yours as he left insistent kisses on your nose and cheeks.

“There's nothing wrong with you.”

He had always been like that with you, he never limited himself in showing you how madly in love he was with you, being honest and embarrassingly romantic in front of you and his friends. But he wasn't your type, you didn't like outrageous or colorful boys like him, you had built up an image that contrasted with his, you so sensible and he so histrionic and volatile. And yet you loved him, Su-bong had a special place in your heart as your best friend, your partner in adventures, even if they ended with him trying to steal a kiss or touching your lower back, perhaps too low to be friendly.

You felt Su-bong's lips on your cheek, at the corner of your lips, dangerously below your chin as if to wring an involuntary moan from you, knowing that he would take advantage of any opportunity where you were completely at his mercy.

“You're perfect,” that husky voice of his, depth in his tone and words, his devotion painted darkly in his eyes, so helpless to see you in tears. His hands, now unobtrusive near your waist, not at all impertinent as usual, as if he finally had some decorum in being near you.

He took you home, as he used to do, checked the rooms and secured the windows while you made your way to your bedroom. You crawled on the bed, your feet as if you had walked on fire, why had you decided to wear those heels? Ah, to impress that boy, how pathetic you had been, like a high school teenager trying to look mature for her teacher.

“All in order” Su-bong approached you with a glass of water, and you smiled as you watched him sit down in front of you leaving his shoes in an awkward motion.

He wasn't careful, but with you he always tried to be, so you weren't surprised when his hands reached your ankles to massage your skin, almost exactly where it needed relief.

“You always know what I need” you whispered as his dexterous hands crept around your ankle, he just smirked, almost too proud of his actions. “Look how those shoes left me, they didn't even fit me...”

“You looked cute in them,” he said.

“To you I'll always look cute, even with a plastic bag”

“And that's the kind of man you should follow, one who is dying for you and adores any aspect or nuance of your personality, no matter if you make decisions with your head or your ass.”

“For a moment you sounded like a normal person”

Laughter, your voices echo in the room, and for a moment you perceive perfect harmony in the tone of your voices, combining and interlocking like puzzle pieces.

“You are too much to cry for him... I would never make you cry if you gave me the chance”

“What would you do if I gave you the chance?” the question came unmeasured from your lips, straight from your heart into the air, pushed by the heaviness in the room and the warmth of his closeness.

“I would put you on a pedestal” he smiled, almost as if he had rehearsed the answer before, “I would never make you feel insecure, you would never hesitate by my side” he pecked your chin with his fingers and a smile.

“And above all” his tone became more serious, more intimate, he moved closer, the distance between you untouchable, his forehead inches from yours "I would make you feel loved, so desired that you would never think of anyone else. I would kiss away your doubts and the memories of others with caresses. I would make you understand that you are my world and that I would always choose you over anything. I would make you feel so mine that you would wish I would never part from you" with his hand on your chin, his thumb caressed your lips, and for the first time, you didn't pull away, nor laugh at his intrusion. You took him by surprise, almost tearing down the safe facade in front of you.

 His eyes widened and became almost round at your stillness, at the feel of your lips under his thumb, he had longed for it so long ago. Even he was surprised at his reaction to the crumbs of attention you gave him.

“Prove it” you whispered, the vibration of your voice jumped to his fingers, sending an electric current between the two of you, “I want to know what it feels like to have someone love you, want you.”

Su-bong's breath was cut off, his heart in his chest, begging thumping for such a moment, for the permission given to touch you...

“Make me yours, Su-bong”

And that was the end for him, the end of the agony that came locked in his pants. 

He removed the glass from your hands, his nervous fingers letting the glass slip for an instant, leaving it on the nightstand next to your bed, only to return in front of you agitated, his gaze fixed on your orbs. And at your smile, the welcome of your hands resting on his cheek, he leaned in for his lips to find yours like a hurried oath, like a prayer of closeness and uncontrolled acceptance, sucking on your lower lip as if trying to rip your soul from your throat. Each caress cut off by moans and saliva, his mouth would open over yours seeking air to plunge back into the doom of your lips.

His hands did not stop, ready to explore every inch of you, every curve of your figure, to memorize with his fingertips the apex of your being. He held you by the nape of your neck to gain access to your mouth, to let his tongue delve into your palate fully savoring every corner of your mouth, while his other hand rested on your hip, his thumb caressing the crease of your thigh and slowly moving up your abdomen to your chest, kneading the flesh beneath your clothing.

He pulled away from you, both of you with your chest rising and falling, Su-bong's hand still gripping your breast, watching the intensity of your movement as he himself swallowed saliva and took a deep breath through his nose. You watched him closely, lips swollen, skin around it flushed.

Su-bong's gaze was fixed on your body, then on your face, his mind a jumble, the gears in his head rubbing almost audibly. His hand pressed your breast, while the other slid to the other one squeezing both like play dough as he stared at them mesmerized, as if he had never touched a woman, while you bit your lip, crumbling under his grip.

“This is real” he said, his pleading eyes meeting yours, his hands still kneading you “it's not another one of those dreams that suddenly end and make me wake up with an erection, is it?”

You shook your head, your hands resting behind you on the mattress as you watched his hands perfectly cage your breasts, his fingers circling the curve of your valleys managing to formulate in you the first disturbing thought about him. His fingers, how skilled he would be with them, how good they would feel inside...

He dragged you onto the sheet, his hands suddenly anchored on your hips, drawing you to him, pressing his manhood against your clothed center, leaving you almost straddling him as he slid his hands to the roundness of your ass, sinking his fingers into your soft flesh under your skirt, over your panties. Curiosity shadowed by desire, the craving for touch overflowing through his restless hands.

You hesitated leaving your hands on his shoulders, exhaling uncertainty and anticipation blinded by lustful longing, feeling his hardness beneath you. Your hands went up to his neck, soft caresses at the angle of his chin, as defined as a blade, running down his neck and chest, finding the desperate vibration of his heart locked in him.

Su-bong melted back into you in a kiss, in a distant and fervent longing as he slid the fabric of your dress over your head and fluidly undid your bra, his warm hands finding the line of your spine, descending in a path deserting sanity, surrendering to his innermost desires. He removed his shirt in one swift movement to return his hands to where they belong, to your body, to the curve of your waist to leave your back against the mattress, his thumbs brushing the shadow of your sagging breasts as the cross hanging from his neck hit your chin. His mouth positioning itself on yours, fitting him perfectly between your legs, sliding his tongue down your chin, leaving wet kisses on your neck and collarbone, tasting your breasts and leaving a trail of kisses over your abdomen, advancing to your thighs as his hands hovered against your fleshy skin.

Kisses on your inner thighs, gasps and promises to love you and make you feel cared for if you stayed by his side, praising how beautiful you looked marked by his mouth, exhaling with difficulty at the shock of ecstasy that grew with each movement executed by him.

His  pants had begun to get in the way, the fabric seemed to fly away followed by his boxers and necklace, falling to the floor next to your dress, just before he began to take care of himself.

He didn't want to look like a saint, he wasn't, so when he leaned over you, his length encased in his hand, brushing against your thigh, he whispered in your ear: “You don't know how many times I've masturbated imagining something like this, you are my downfall” 

Su-bong left a kiss under your earlobe and added “damn, you're so much better than drugs”.

Your panties on the floor, your legs around his hips, heels fitting perfectly into his lower back, like a perfect piece of craftsmanship as his hands lay next to your head, his shadow looming over you.

You would have laughed if you had been told a couple of hours ago that you would be in bed with Su-bong on top of you, even though he often told you so himself, it seemed something completely inconceivable, even at this moment when you felt his tip tantalizing your skin.

You watched him suddenly, as your hands rested on his shoulders, your fingers following the trace of his muscles, the way he tensed under your touch, the silent prayer behind his black eyes, the anticipation legible in his breath. Longing, desire and devotion, all were implied only in his gaze, in the gentle caress of his hand on your cheek, as his thumb made soft circles on your skin, and you saw it in his smile. Su-bong was smiling so innocently that he didn't seem to be in the present position.

When your bodies finally bonded, both shared a soft moan, your face nestling in the palm of his hand while he comforted you with gentle caresses. Softness exuding lust, eroticism and desire combined with tenderness. He seemed perfectly made for you, working his way thoroughly through your silkiness, leading the way with deep surrender and pure affection.

You felt him exploring your insides with pause and diligence, as his hands traveled through your being, your heart beating against his hand as he played with your buttons, or your breath shortening as he kissed your neck and sank his face onto your shoulder. You heard him moan your name in your ear as he pounded inside you a little harder, as his hands slid next to yours on top of your head, as he whispered desperately how much he had loved you for years.

So this is what it felt like to have someone love you. That deep and hostile, yet cautious and smooth, painful and pleasurable. The dichotomy of passion described in every lunge, in every salty kiss and every word.

“My princess” you heard him almost on the verge of madness, slipping into you so naturally. “Never think of him again” left a trail of insistent kisses.

Your skin burned, your muscles tensed, and the vulgar sound of kissing and his movements filled the room, there was nothing but promise and stars, no doubt and no remorse, not when he was pounding so deliciously inside you.

You clung to his back as you felt him rougher, more uncontrolled, almost savage. Su-bong rested one hand on the back of the bed as he gripped you tightly around the waist, his face contorted in pleasure, whispering dirty things as he felt the way you tightened around him. Every thrust tore a moan from your lips, and every time your breasts bounced grunts came from his chest.

It wasn't right to use him like this, your friendship would be completely bruised when this was all over. And you knew he would be saddened when you treated him again with the distance of friendship. Maybe you should have asked him to stop, or stopped moaning his name so much when you felt him pick up the pace, maybe, maybe... but it all vanished when his thumb went down to your center, when his agility pressed on your nerves with such dexterity that it made you forget everything and come back to that, to him splitting you in half as he whispered cloying promises.

The air was thin, your heart thudding in your throat. Su-bong was good at fucking, no, an expert... a specialist in... a master, a... whatever.

Your mind was in a whirl, a jumble of whimpers and moans, a groan as you watched him take your hips, focused on the way he lost himself inside you, frowning and pursing his lips.

This wasn't just sex, not when you felt the warmth of his hands, the delicacy of his fingers and the way he gave you fleeting glances to make sure you were okay.

“Su-bong” There was something else in the air, something contained in your chest as your hand reached out for his face, the feel of his skin against your palm as he leaned over you, the crease of his cheeks from his smile.

“Here I am” Su-bong covered your hand, lifting it to leave chaste kisses on your palm.

“Don't leave me” you didn't know where that confession had come from, but it was real, as real as your affection for him or his love for you.

“Never” Su-bong pressed his lips against yours, a passionate promise as his hand slid over your center again, moving slowly in circles with just the right pressure, feeling the spasms it caused in you, taking you uphill from ecstasy. It was different, the burning sensation in your lower stomach, the electric tension in your thighs. Your fingernails dug into his back, the crimson traces on his skin from the high he was bringing on in you.

You both moaned erratically, less and less in sync as his movements sped up, his hand never stopping rubbing you. He watched you become a mess under him, arching your back and screaming for more, because something inside you was rising, and rising and accelerating, something strong would pounce if he continued in the same way.

“I love you,” he said, as lost in his own gasps as you were, "and it doesn't matter if you never love me. I will be yours as long as you allow me to show my devotion."

Hot, that's what the skin felt like, that's what his love and his proposal felt like, because he would put his pride aside just to feel you his, to know that he can manage to make you feel wanted. The sensation inside you, the heat in your walls, the pressure of his fingers, everything increased drastically forming that growing core that traveled from your center to your chest, his passion moved strongly as you climbed to the clouds of that oath, everything until you reached the end. The explosion of your core of lust burned in an erratic convulsion, in a restrained moan as you enjoyed the edge. And then the heat, the heat with which Su-bong painted your walls as you clenched around him.

Shy gasps and kisses, all as he pulled out of you slowly, dragging the strings of his passion slipping out of you.

“Are you okay?” Subong fixed the strands of hair covering your forehead, and you just nodded as you caught your breath.

He bent to the floor in search of the vape in his pants, pulling it out and taking a deep puff, lying back down this time with his arm around your shoulders, drawing you to his chest.

There was no need for words, for although neither of you understood the situation, you had discovered how well you worked together, how easily you seemed to melt into mutual compliments and pleasure. Your fingers glided with smooth naturalness over the lines of the tattoo on his chest and abdomen, absorbed in your thoughts, while he seemed to have none useful in his head, smiling and pleased.

He knew your mental tribulations were flooding your head, but he said nothing, just left a kiss in your hair, while he looked up at the ceiling with the vape on his lips and felt your fingers run over his skin. There would be time to meditate and make decisions, for tonight he was pleased that you had let him pour his feelings out on you, because you had finally chosen him.

[fablesuntold]

@musingmemories

Blood.. so much blood. It clung to his skin and embroidered itself within the groves of his palms, remaining sticky even when dried— staining the beds of his fingernails a rusted shade of red. At first, it’d just been his own; each fist thrown at him as a form of revenge for ‘his’ cryptocurrency scam enough to split the surface until the red liquid seeped through. Then, it was Thanos’— his primary tormentor, who’d pushed him a little too far over the edge and earned an unexpected fork to the jugular as a result.. the wide-eyed look Thanos wore when he realised he was dying still haunting Myung-gi to his core. And last but certainly not least.. it was Jun-hee’s. It all happened in quick time. A glass bridge, players falling to their deaths upon stepping on the wrong panels.. and then an ear piercing explosion, sending a blast of broken shards hurtling through the air toward the remaining players who’d managed to make it to the other side by the skin of their teeth.

Saves for a couple of deep gashes loitering his face from what felt like a never ending spray of glass, Myung-gi was mostly fine.. more than what could be said for Jun-hee who’d unfortunately been standing within the closest radius to the glass panels when they’d burst. He had to admit, he’d witnessed a lot of terrible things during his stay at.. wherever they were, but to turn around and be met with the gut wrenching sight of Jun-hee keeling over— a huge shard protruding from the space between her shoulder blades? Myung-gi couldn’t stop the scream that’d torn its way from his throat. The last thing he remembered before blacking out and coming to in the hospital was cradling her in his arms as she slowly began to lose consciousness, their tears mixing against her cheek as his began to flow freely.

And that’s when a police unit barged in, only they were a little too late, weren’t they? Never around when you needed them. How typical of Seoul’s finest to show up and ‘save the day’ when there was barely anyone left to save, twelve of the four hundred and fifty six players the last ones standing.

Luckily one of the officer’s hadn’t been completely useless at least, able to stop the bleeding until they could rush Jun-hee to the hospital where Myung-gi hadn’t left her side despite several nurses insisting he be checked over too. Too little too late, some would say. But he was here now. Here to stay. Here to step up and be the man she needed.. if she’d even accept him back into her life. A swift pin was popped into that thought upon noticing those doe-eyes begin to flutter open, Myung-gi quick to lean forward and grip onto her hand in hopes to provide some form of comfort.. as if she could associate him with a word like that. Probably the complete opposite after the hell he’d put her through.

“Hey, don’t move okay? Just.. just take it easy. A police unit found us, we were saved.” Shakily, he rushed to get the brief explanation out, her next question a guarantee— one he suspected was coming as her free hand found the growing bump on her stomach. Their her baby. Shit.

“..Don’t worry about the baby right now, it’s fine. They did a couple scans while you were out. There’s.. a strong heartbeat.” The truth, to a certain extent.. with a few white lies sprinkled in between. They had done a scan.. but as for the heartbeat? It was elevated to the point of concern. The concern being that given how much trauma Jun-hee’s body had suffered and the stress of the games, she could go into early labour today which was less than ideal. With three months still left to go? Giving birth early could pose a real risk to both her and the baby. “Jun-hee, don’t think about what happened after the game. You’re hurt. You need rest. I’ll tell you everything when you’re feeling better, I promise. Everything’s going to be fine.” No more stress. Those were the doctor’s strict orders. Orders that he intended to heed for once in his life.

Though, Myung-gi would be lying if he said the latter part of her sentence hadn’t bothered him. ‘If you’re here, that’s never a good sign.’ As much as he wanted to claim that wasn’t fair.. it was. He’d let her down too many times for him to even begin to form a counter argument. “..I’m here because I want to be, and I’m going to continue to stay here with you, if that’s okay. At least until I know you’re good, and then I’ll go.. if that’s what you want.” Was that what she wanted? Sure, they’d agreed to try again, but words meant nothing in the spur of the moment— he’d taught her that the hard way. Would it be her leaving him broken hearted this time around after he’d finally realised the chance he’d squandered..?

Bright fluorescents made closed eyes squeeze shut tighter. Just a little longer was a plea in the back of her mind, knowing that when she woke up she’d see the frame of the bunk bed above hers, hear that eerie fanfare playing to announce Good Morning! underscored by the shuffles of sneaker soles on the flooring signaling that it was time for another game.

Jun-hee didn’t want to wake up.

She was tired, done... and just wanted to go home. Pain clouded the edges of her mind, barely there, throbbing as though suppressed. Groggily, reluctantly, Jun-hee opened her eyes, dried like they'd been shut for a while, hazy slumber trying to lull her back in gentle protest. What day was it? How many games were left? What if... the next game was her last?

Last... now that word stirred her mind, memories rushing at her at the rate of a meteor crashing into Earth. The Glass Bridge, based off... Hopscotch, or Floor is Lava Jun-hee assumed, and their second to last game. Cross the bridge to get to the other side. Seemed simple enough... but the games all had something that resulted in your death if you slipped up. The illusion of the glass platforms looked sturdy, able to hold all of your weight regardless of choice on either side... deceiving the way a select few shattered beneath your feet without warning, causing players to plummet to the darkness below, with just enough lighting for you to see their bodies if you looked down. Jun-hee had barely made it to the end, still catching her breath as a relief-filled smile tugged on her lips before there was a sound that made her heart stop, splitting white hot pain blooming against her back... and everything went dark.

What... had happened?

Onyx shades adjusted to the light, gaining awareness of her surroundings and breath held realizing she was staring at stark white walls, stifled breath threatened to come out in panic, hearing the steady beep start to pickup in speed, hand squeezed and it was then Jun-hee realized someone was holding it. Doe eyes resembling prey caught in headlights found Myung-gi's face, concern bringing brows together in that spot between, genuine worry an expression she wasn't used to seeing on his features, for someone so self-absorbed. 'You're in the hospital.'

Confusion didn't ease, if anything, it made Jun-hee panic all the more. "Where...?" Still in the games? Had there been a hospital here the entire time and the pink suits were deliberate to keep injured players out of it for sport? Panic... because -- her free hand went to her stomach, feeling that familiar swell there beneath the itchy thin cross-stitched blanket. "The baby... is... is it...?" She didn't dare ask the rest, if the baby was okay, if anything had happened... because Jun-hee couldn't bear to hear it. Tears had already started to make her eyes shine with vulnerability, lump swelling in her throat. The first time she'd shown Myung-gi her fear, how scared she truly was about the whole thing... barely able to believe his promise they'd get out together, be together, try to be something together. Somehow that seemed far away... like coming in and out of focus, sweet whispers while she'd been sleeping. "What happened, after the game, Myung-gi...? I can't remember anything. My back aches. I can't feel all the pain, but I know something's there... like it should hurt more. And... the baby isn't moving... and you're here, that's never a good sign..." Intuition clawed at her heart, or it was just her mind going to the alluring default of pessimism and negativity, trauma difficult to shed.

@fablesuntold sent: “you’re in the hospital.” ( Myung-gi to Jun-hee, season3end!AU )

[dumbfloweralive]

Love me like you used to.

Part 1: From friends to strangers.

Doctor strange x avatar!reader

Summary: Stephen has return from the blip after 5 years. You were happy to have your friend back. But as the return to reality after the battle hit, everything his different. None of you knows how to act around each other as memories of your past friendshipt let you both grieving the past.

Warning: Mention of death and injury, mention of grief, of self-harm and scars, anger.

                                            “Sometimes i wish

                                              I never met you

                                               So i wouldn’t 

                                             Know the feeling 

                                             Of knowing you

                                           But not being able to

                                            Have you around”

You and Stephen used to be close. Ever since you had crossed his path, it clicks between the two of you immediately. And, as an Avatar and a student of the mystic art for the past three years when he arrived, the Ancient One had asked you to teach Stephen, taking Mordo places when you return. 

You were watching above the streets, in your Egyptian suit, the man named Stephen Strange. The ancient one had asked you to follow his path to Kamar Taj, so you did. You had expected anything from him with what the ancient one told you about him. An arrogant neurosurgeon, trying everything to get his hands back. You thought he would be mean, an idiot. 

Though, you were surprised. He had stopped to tend the wounds of the dog, carefully wrapping his injured leg the best he could with two sticks. The dog even gave him a high five. 

It warmed your heart. 

So, the minute he ended up cornered by thief, you decided to help him, knocking out all of them, the last one running away. 

He couldn’t see anything from your face beside your eyes, as you walked closer to him, handing him the broken watch he had just lost, swiping the dust off his shoulder.

“Thank you” he nodded. 

“Do you know a place named Kamar Taj?”

You tilted your head, before walking away from him, thinking he would follow you on his own. He didn’t.

Turning back to him, you saw the man, confused and hurt with the shock he did to his hands.

You sign to him to follow you, and lead him to the door, knocking and leaving him here, waiting away that someone would take him in.

Soon, you had become inseparable.

As an introvert, unable to be around people more than two days, everyone were surprised, especially you, noticing how easy it was for you to be around Stephen for days and days.

Everyone saw you two as a duo. As he grew better in his practice and became the master of the NY sanctum then, Sorcerer supreme, you had followed him there.

Everything went well, your friendship being stronger than ever. Until Thanos and the blip. 

“So what? That’s it? We do nothing?”

“No.”

“But he just left with the stone.”

“I know.”

A few minutes had passed, none of you knew what to do.

“Mr Stark? I don’t feel so good.” Peter said, and you make a move toward the kid, only for Stephen to caught your hand, spinning you to face him. His hand cupped your face, looking at you like it was the last time. The guardian flew to dust first. Then Peter, holding on Tony for his life.

“What is happening?” Tony sounded desperate.

“We’re in the endgame now.”

 “I am sorry.” Was all he said. 

“No” You tried to hold on him, but your hand only went through him as he turned to dust, leaving you here.

When you came back with Tony, Wong had asked you to take charge of the NY sanctum. They were less sorcerer’s left, and you were part of the person he trusted the most. You accepted, against your will. Later, when the time for him to choose a second came, he chooses you too.

Finding Thanos back was a failure. He had destroyed the stone and, with that, the only chance to bring back everyone.

Now, you were alone in the sanctum. The first weeks after the blip had been the worst, for everyone. You had left Stephen’s room untouched, unable to opened it. For the first time, you felt alone. A loneliness that hurt you. To fix this, when you could, you overworked yourself to a point of hurting yourself in the way. Wong was here to help you when needed, to bring you up when at the worst. He was patient with you. 

After three years, you had loosed all hope to see him back. To find a solution to the problem. You continued working on the protection of the sanctum, at Wong’s side, helping in the mission, paying visit to Natasha, to Tony when you were not busy. 

You had convinced yourself he was gone, for real.

His absence was still hanging on your shoulder, guilting you. But with the days, you learn to leave with it, to leave with the memory of him. 

Five years had passed. You were 27. Tony had called you, giving you good news. They hope to get the stones back and bring everyone with them. You had jumped on the occasion. 

That’s how, right now, you were crawling out of the fallen Avenger campus, fighting against Thanos. 

Everything seemed lost, but you kept fighting. For them. For him. 

Lightning scared the sky, as the portal opened and people flew out of them. An entire army. People were back.

Tony had snapped with the gauntlet. Now, he was gone, and you were holding Peter in your arms, the kid heartbroken as Pepper say her goodbye. Steve had moved Tony’s body in the jet, allowing friends and family to say goodbye. 

You were walking on the battlefield, crossing the path of the other fighter, giving them small hug, formalities. 

You were looking for him. All your research were veined until you noticed something red in the middle of the chaos. 

“Stephen?” you called a first time, your voice barely noticed by anyone. 

Stephen was looking for you, asking Wong where you could be, scared that after all of this, he had lost you. Cloak stopped, forcing him to the other side.

“Stephen” you called a second time, walking faster to them.

And, finally, he turned around, seeing you, catching your gaze. 

“Thank god” he said, feeling like he could breathe for the first time. He ran to you, but you stopped a few feet away when you were finally facing each other.

“Are you back?” you asked, scared to be dreaming.

“Yes,Y/N, yes i am” he continued.

You nodded, tears of happiness filling your eyes as you jump in his arms, your arms snuggling on the back of his neck while his arms land on your waist, holding you up from the ground.

And, as you were thrilled to have him back, he hadn’t changed. But you did, and Stephen saw it the first moment his eyes land on you.

The two of you thought everything would get back to normal. That your friendship would be as strong as before.

But, in the end, it was more than difficult. Because you had changed. You had mourned him, spending the last five years accepting the fact he was gone. Therefore, while you were happy to see your friend back, it felt weird, like a ghost coming to haunt you. And it scared you. Frightening you as you expected him to vanished away.

Everything was different. None of you knew how to act around each other, distance growing between the two of you against your will. 

And Stephen couldn’t understand what was going on. It made him angry, desperate, sad. He was living in Kamar taj the first week of his return, dealing with and learning the changes and taking back his functions as master, though he didn’t retrieve his role as master of the NY sanctum, a title you wished to pass back to him. 

During this week, he didn’t see you much. Most of the time you were passing by, having duty to attend. And he understood. You were busy. He hoped he could see you more after the meeting organized with all the master. 

You were sitting next to Wong during the meeting, Stephen being a few chairs away from Wong and you. Everyone was discussing the return of the lost one, how to get everyone return as easy as possible, and how to organize the lesson and to prepare the three sanctum.

“Speaking of the sanctum, now that Master Strange is back, i’d hope to give him back his duty as master of the NY sanctum, since Wong told me i was only supposed to replace him until he found someone else.” You said to the others.

It felt weird for Stephen to hear you refer to him by his title. But, after all, it was a meeting.

You turned to Wong to get him to talk, but all he did was to bow his head, avoiding your gaze.

“The NY sanctum will stay in your command for now.” he said, hating to put this weight on your shoulder over again, knowing you wanted to get rid of that as soon as possible.

“Beg your pardon?” 

“Master Strange has just come back, he had other things to attend to before taking back the direction of the sanctum.” Sarah said. 

“That wasn’t the deal. As Avatar, i have thing to attend to myself. Stephen was already doing a wonderful job before the blip.”

“You’re doing an even better job, you’re more experienced in the area since you’ve been dealing with this for the past five years.” Sarah continued.

“Yes, against my wishes.” 

“Yet, you’re doing the best job out of all the sanctum.”

You whipped your face, tired of this.

“Wonderful.”

“Master Strange will stay at the NY sanctum to practice with you anyway, you could prepare him to take back his job in the future, and it will give him time to practice and for you, to take some work off your shoulder.” Wong said, finally looking in your eyes.

“Fine”

You already felt the anxiety gripping at your guts at the idea of spending each day with someone, even if it were Stephen. And that realization hit you even harder.

“Well, where do i sleep?” Stephen asked, entering the door of his home, the NY sanctum.

“In your room.” You answer, putting down the books on the nearest table.

“It was the room of the master of the sanctum i occupied, which you are now.” He tried to get closer to you, but you moved out of his way.

“I don’t get your point” you continued, walking at the stairs, ready to join your room.

“Don’t you sleep there?” 

There was a long silence between you both.

“No, your room is still your room, i didn’t change it when…” but you didn’t finish, pausing in the middle of the stair. 

You never felt the courage to go to his room when he disappeared, avoiding the room.

“I see.” He climbed the stairs, walking next to you. He tried reaching for your hand, but you lean against the stairs, away from his touch.

“I don’t show you around, you know the place.”

“Yes, feel like last week since i’ve been here.” he tried to joke out since the blip only felt like a second for him, and it literally felt like a week.

Your eyes fell on your feet, and he knew he had messed up.

“Y/N”

“I am going to bed”

And just like that, you were out of his vision, away. Stephen didn’t understand, he couldn’t. Everything felt so different, even you. And he hated it. He wanted his friend back, he needed this, he was gone for five years. He needed you. But your presence was long gone and all was left was silence. 

Heading back to his room, he went inside. Everything was left as he remembered. The book he was reading at the time laid wide open on his bed, his clothes hanging on the chair of his desk. As he walked closer to his desk, he noticed the small butterfly you had sent him the last time, noticing him about the book you just found. Nothing had changed. Surprisingly, there was no dust in the room, and he could feel magic from it, and he gets it. You had cast a spell to clean it, but never touches anything.

“What’s your favorite spell?” Stephen asked.

He has been under your training for the past month, becoming better as the days passed. To your own surprised and others, being around Stephen was easier than it was with everyone else. You were never tired of his presence nor felt the need to be left alone. 

Truly, you liked being in his presence. 

“It’s a simple one, but i love it.” you said, opening your hand as gold sparkle spread in the air, forming a morpho butterfly in the palm of your hand. 

Soon, the butterfly flew around the room before landing on Stephen’s hand. He looked at it with wonder before the butterfly fade back to sparkles.

“Teach me this.”

Stephen didn’t know if he was glad about this or hurt. You had expected him to come back, yet, now that he was back, you felt so far away from him, so distant.

Ever since the end of the battle, you had spent time alone in the Sanctum, running to your duty both as Master of the sanctum and Avatar of the Egyptian God you served. Now that Stephen was back, it felt weird. You had missed him so much, but every time you were near him, fear insinuated in your body. Plus, you had no idea how to act around him anymore. So, you ran away, each time. 

Each night felt more exhausting on your soul. Nightmares were back, though when you woke up you had no idea what happened in them. You just ended up awake, tears on your cheeks and this feeling of void inside, like something was taken away from you. 

It had been two weeks since Stephen was back to the Sanctum. Three since he was back. You had barely seen him. 

You were in your office when someone knocked on the door. 

“Come in” you said, barely moving your eyes from the parchment filled with ancient hieroglyphs you were working on decoding. 

“Morning” Wong greeted walking in, sitting in front of you.

“Morning Wong” 

He let you finished your work before, you two sitting in silence. Wong was one of the few persons you like hanging out with. When Stephen was gone, you two had been here for each others, your friendship growing stronger. He had picked you up many times during Stephen’s absence. Wong knew Stephen’s return might be hard on you after all the time you spend grieving him, blaming yourself. He was scared for you, knowing you would be fighting with yourself to open up again, too afraid.  

And just by seeing you right now, he knew he was right.

Stephen had spoken about you only a few times, each time stating your absence, how you had changed, him not being able to understand, his voice betraying anger. And Wong wasn’t blind. He had seen how Stephen always hang out in Kamar Taj, always in his steps, spending more time with him than at the Sanctum. He knew is friend wasn’t well too. And Wong knew Stephen missed your presence.

“What can i do for you?” you asked, stepping, the parchment at your side. 

“Just passing by, seeing how you're doing. We don’t see you often lately.”

“Sorry, just i’ve been busy and everything, you know.” 

He stared at you, and you knew you couldn't lie like that to him. 

“You’re back on med.”

Of course, he knew. Wong had seen you with them. You were fucking exhausted, and you felt like your mind would explode. You breathe deeply, your hand whipping your face, resting on your mouth, trying to find something to say. 

There was no point in lying. 

“I’ve had panics attacks.” you whispered, like you were admitting some shameful thought. 

Wong leaned closer, listening carefully. 

“I feel like… “ You sight, trying to find the word to explain yourself. 

“I don’t know where it came from, but sometimes i have this fear that lingered in me that kept growing and in these moments i can’t move, can’t breathe, i can’t think of anything to do, to say, i just… It felt like i froze, my heart stopped and i feel like i’m dying.”

You lower your eyes to the table, fidgeting with a pen that you just found.

“And i have nightmare again.”

“What happen in them.” 

“I don’t know. I can’t remember. But when i wake up, it’s so painful, and i feel empty, like i’ve lost something.”

Wong know. He knew Stephen return would be hard on you, he just didn’t expect that. 

“Don’t you think this have something to do with Stephen?”

Your eyes snapped back to him, but you didn’t answer. Of course, it had to do with him, as always.

“I can’t go through this again, Wong, i won’t survive it.” You shook your head.

“Y/N you won’t. Stephen is back for good.”

“How could you know it?”

Wong paused, knowing anything could happen. 

“We don’t. But you have to trust this.”  

“I’m trying, but every time i am near him, these memories on Titan came back, and he’s gone, again.”

Days had passed since your talk with Wong. Nothing had changed with Stephen, despite you trying. It still felt weird, the fear of having him disappearing invading you every time he was around. 

Stephen had tried talking, exchanging, trying to get everything back to normal. He didn’t understand why you were so reluctant. You two used to be pretty close. Now you felt like strangers. 

He hated this, and he was running out of patience. Stephen was the one who had lost five years of his life, and he didn’t understand how you could act like this with him. He had made this to save the universe. To save you. 

Naturally, he started to get angry at you, avoiding your presence. Never did he get angry in front of you, he couldn’t.

Until, one day, he snapped. You were heading back of a mission with him and Wong. The first one with him since he got back. You were stronger than he remembers, putting your life in line more than he could support. Shielding him from danger when he didn’t want you to risk your life. Saving his ass since he let his guard down, which result in you getting hurt.

Though you were fine, Stephen didn’t see it like this. Thinking you were reckless and too stubborn to follow directive. He was filming with rage.

You were in the Sanctum, pulling the relics you had found out of your bag.

“Well, it worked out better than expected.” you said, happy with the work.

“Better than expected? You’re joking?” Stephen snapped, raising his voice.

“You almost get yourself killed and were so reckless throughout all of it. Honestly, i’m so disappointed in you” He continued, the words falling out of his mouth before he could think of them.

“Strange!” Wong catch him, and he turned his eyes to him, seeing the anger in Wong eyes before he finally understood the words he just spit out to your face. 

Stephen turned to you and his heart broke, seeing your gaze on him breaking, your feature turning into a frown before your head fall to the ground. He had hurt you.

“I got some work to do.” you whispered, walking away from the room.

“You're a jerk, Strange.”

“Why should she care? She is the one avoiding me since i got back.”

“You were gone for five years, she spent five years mourning you and accepting your absence, stop expecting her to get used to you all over again after she saw you vanished away on Titan. You don’t know how she was after that. She had to live with this, here, alone, most of the time because i couldn’t send anyone here since we weren’t enough sorcerer left. Stop treating her like the twenty-one years old woman you first met, she’s not her anymore, and you should get use to it.”

Stephen just looked at Wong, processing what he said. Wong sights, calming down.

“Listen. We don’t say this often, you and i. But you are my friend, and your absence was hard for me at some point. I don’t want to imagine how it was for her, especially since she saw you disappeared in front of her eyes. Just, try to understand that it was hard for all your friend.”  Wong said, walking away from Stephen.

And Stephen felt bad. He could hear his heartbreaking.

The next day, you went in expedition for Ra, gathering ancient and stolen artifacts. It went wrong and, you ended up getting stabbed in your side, your hand covering the wounds to stop the bleeding. 

Hissing in pain, you walked back to the Sanctum, climbing the stairs, when a voice stopped you.

“We need to talk.” Stephen said, catching your hand covering the wounds.

“Let go of me” you spite out, walking away now angry.

Stephen had frozen at the coldness in your voice, looking as you walked away again. He was about to leave when he noticed the blood covering his hand. 

“Shit” he whispered before running after you, entering your room and knocking on the door of the bathroom.

“Y/N”

“Just leave me alone.” 

He sighted.

“Let me at least help you with your injury.”

“I can handle it.” You were raising the side of your shirt, examining the damage caused by the wound, as Ra tried reasoning you.

“You need help” He said before Stephen enter the bathroom. 

“Go away!”

“No i won’t, you need help, you're injured” He said softly this time, pushing you to sit on the counter. 

“Back off.”

“Why can’t you just stop being this stubborn?” His voice raising again.

“Just go please.” Your voice fall into a whisper as you lean away, hissing when the injury burns on your side. 

“I won’t leave you until i am sure you're okay.” 

A laugh escaped from your lips, soon followed by tears falling on your cheeks that you whipped quickly. 

It wasn’t the first time he was helping you tend your wounds, you had helped him too. But you didn’t want him to see the scars and old injury you got during mission.

You looked at him from the corner of your eyes as Stephen was taking the first aid kit before he got closer to you, helping to take your shirt off. Stephen froze as he watched your skin and the scars on them, some long, marking by knives, other looking like bullets. None of them had been taken care of properly, as they didn’t heal correctly. 

His hand went working at your side, trying his best not to shake while he stitched you up.

“What happened?” He asked, and you both know the real meaning behind his words. 

“It doesn’t matter.” You answer. 

As he is done with your injury, he watched the scars adorning your skin, tracing down those on your stomach, your shoulder. Stephen is careful in all his movement, too afraid to do something that would make you runaway. His hands traced the scars on your wrist, finding them too thin, too straight for scars in battle. Stephen knew what those scares were. His eyes fall on you as you take your wrist out of his hold, hiding them. Your head turned away from him, unable to support it anymore.

Stephen lean his forehead on your cheeks, swiping the tears falling on it before closing is eyes.

“What happened to us.” He finally built the courage to ask.

“Five years”

The silence between you lingered for while as Stephen tried to found something to say, knowing, far too well, that if he brings up your scar, you’ll run away from him. And he can’t support the thought of it. 

“I am sorry about what i said yesterday, i didn’t mean it. I was just angry at you.” he finally said.

“Yeah, i am angry at myself too.”

“I just don’t understand.”

“I don’t expect you to understand what’s on my mind, Strange.” 

At your words, Stephen realized something that made his heart sank deep in his body.

“Y/N” 

“Y/N” He screamed.

“Just listen to me at least.” Stephen continued.

“What, Strange?” you sight, seeing him running after you.

“Don’t act like that, please, not with me.” 

Your hands collapsed at your side, looking at him, waiting for him to talk.

“You said you were pushing away people when they came too close to you.”

He was looking over you, his hands falling on each side of your shoulder, like he wanted to make sure you wouldn’t move away from him.

“Don’t push me away, please.”

“Are you pushing me away?” he asked.

You jumped off the counter, avoiding his blue eyes, walking away from him.

“Y/N” 

“Y/N” he tried again, taking your hand in his again, but you slipped away, like a ghost.

“No” you whispered, going out of your room. 

Stephen just stood in the middle of the room, waiting, hoping you might return. But you don’t. And his eyes are drowned to a picture on the wall, the two of you, smiling and laughing after you asked Stephen to stand in front of the staircase in the sanctum when he officially became The master of the sanctum to memorize the instant. He had then insisted on you coming next to him in the picture, only for you to make the most gut-wrenching joke after the first shot. He had kept the serious one of the two of you, and you had kept this one.

He hated this.

Hello! So, here is the first part coming from the extract I posted a few days ago. I hope you will enjoy it. I would love to get any advice, good or bad to improve my writing, I personaly think it lack some sort of description.

Do let me know if you like it 🤞 See you soon for the next part !

Have a great day!

[twh-news]

Tom Hiddleston made his glorious debut as Loki in 2011's Thor, which celebrated its 10th anniversary exactly two weeks ago today. Since then, the 40-year-old actor's God of Mischief has gone on a remarkable journey in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, as he grappled with the living in his heroic brother Thor's (Chris Hemsworth) shadow and evolved from villain to antihero. Now, it's time for Loki to step into the spotlight on Disney+'s Loki. Ahead of the six-episode drama's premiere, though, EW asked Hiddleston to take us through Loki's greatest hits.

The audition (2009)

It's well-known that Hiddleston actually auditioned for Thor's titular role. "I remember thinking I should probably do some exercise because Thor is a very athletic character. So I did that, got into his kind of regime and did my camera test, and put on the blonde wig, and swung the hammer," he says. "But I do remember on the piece of paper I signed, it said, 'The role of Thor/Loki.' I thought, 'Okay...' Long-story short: Chris Hemsworth is definitive in the role of Thor. I certainly think so, and the right decision was made on that day. I'm very glad it went the way it went."

Thor (2011)

Directed by Kenneth Branagh, The first Thor contains the scene that truly set the stage for Hiddleston and Loki's post-Avengers breakout. After discovering he's actually descended from the Frost Giants, Loki confronts his (adopted) father, Odin (Anthony Hopkins), about the deception in a harrowing and transformative scene. "That's the creation, in a way, of Loki's status as a villain, is this intense feeling of marginalization and isolation, [and] that he does not belong, that Thor is not his brother," says Hiddleston. "I'll never forget doing that scene because I had such respect, and still do, for Sir Anthony Hopkins, and suddenly I was having to play tennis with him in a very emotional place."

Marvel Studios President Kevin Feige adds: "There's just so much pain and angst in it. I think that is the moment that Tom really got his hooks into the audience."

The Avengers (2012)

Loki has many memorable moments in The Avengers, but Hulk interrupting the "puny" god's egomaniacal speech and pounding him to the ground is the funniest. "I had a piece of wire tied to my ankle and there was a mat on the floor, which was out of shot, and three of the strongest stunt guys holding the wire at the end behind the camera. The experience being yanked out of frame was one I will not forget in a hurry," says Hiddleston, explaining he was the only one in front of the camera when they shot it because Mark Ruffalo didn't perform the role via motion-capture in that first Avengers film. "For about two years after that, I couldn't go through airports anywhere in the world without somebody kind of going, 'Hey, Mr. Loki, I love it when you get Hulk smashed.' It became a bit of a thing in a fun way,"

Thor: The Dark World (2013)

Loki loves to use his powers to guard himself both physically and emotionally, as seen in Thor: The Dark World when Thor visits his imprisoned brother after the Dark Elves murdered their mother. At first, Loki is smug as always and everything seems in order, but Thor calls him out and the illusion dissipates, revealing that Loki is broken and grieving. "There's this love of their mother that unites these two brothers, adopted or not, and they form a kind of unpredictable and unstable alliance," says Hiddleston. "That scene was really key to anchoring that film in something honest and emotional."

Thor: Ragnarok (2017)

Loki learns nothing hurts like apathy when his brother reveals he's completely given up on him in this pivotal elevator scene from Taika Waititi's eccentric and warm threequel. "I think it really affects Loki. He thinks, 'Oh maybe I got this wrong. Maybe I did have a place in that family. Maybe this guy is my brother.' But it was a really enjoyable scene because it was just a very quiet moment with Chris in a very calm space in a big, colorful, spectacular film" says Hiddleston.

Avengers: Infinity War (2018)

After evading death many times, Loki finally met his end when Thanos (Josh Brolin) crushed his windpipe — but not before delivering a powerful speech in which he accepted all parts of himself, the Frost Giant and the Asgardian. "The redemption of Loki as a character was achieved in that moment of sacrifice and catharsis — that after all this time, after all this journey of feeling marginalized and fueled by jealous rage, he would risk his life to save his brother and call himself an Odinson. And I saw this perfect closure in a way," says Hiddleston. "I remember Josh Brolin could not have been sweeter. He was so generous. I walked into the room and he turned around and saw me come in, and just broke into this big wide smile, and opened up his arms, and enveloped me in a big hug and said, 'I'm sorry, man.'"

Avengers: Endgame (2019)

But Infinity War wasn't the end for Loki. Hiddleston appeared as the Avengers-era version of his character for Endgame's time heist. "It was really enjoyable to go back to this version of this character that I played before all of the evolution with those actors who I got to know so well and we'd all been on this journey together," he says. Of course, that Loki ends up stealing the Tesseract and disappearing, setting the stage for the Disney+ series. "Where does he go? When does he go? How does he get there?"

Loki (2021)

"If you've seen the trailer for Loki the show, you will know that Loki finds himself face-to-face with the TVA, the Time Variance Authority, who are an organization within Marvel Comics that govern the order of time," Hiddleston says. "I suppose Loki picking up the Tesseract in Endgame might have caused some concern. It is very exciting. The world of the TVA is a world of bureaucratic order, and of course Loki is the God of Mischief and Chaos. So you have the forces of order and chaos coming together, and that's where our story starts."

Bonus moment: Thor: The Dark World (2013)

At one point in the Thor sequel, Loki shape-shifts into Captain America, with Chris Evans making a cameo, while he and his brother escape Asgard. However, there's a version of that scene in which Hiddleston actually puts on the star-spangled hero's costumes himself. "[That] was a very strange and surreal moment, nevertheless enjoyable. So I got to feel whatever the feeling of wearing that suit [is], which is definitely a moment," Hiddleston recalls. "Then, they played that footage to Chris, and he did his best impression of me doing an impression him, and he does it brilliantly." High-praise from the God of impressions.

[babyboibucky]

Deserve Better

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Bucky disappeared and came back only to say goodbye.

Word Count: 2,887

Warnings: angsty angsty angsty angsty angsty

A/N: Post-endgame timeline with lotsa angst! Included Andy Barber here because why the fuck not but he’s really not a major character lol

Deserve Better || Undeserving || Deserve The Best

MAIN MASTERLIST

-

The day you got Bucky back was the same day he said goodbye. He left you— said it was for the best— just as when your fingertips touched him for the first time after five years of longing.

Your reunion with Bucky after the snap was nothing like the movies, far from it actually. A lot of things happened when he was snapped back, in between the battle with Thanos and Tony’s funeral. Besides, you weren’t an Avenger; you didn’t work for SHIELD nor the CIA. In fact, you remained oblivious of the battle that was going on until the moment of chaos caused by the sudden reappearances of half of the world’s population.

And then you received a message from Steve, about the tragedy and the sacrifice of Tony Stark. He was inviting you to the funeral and as much as you felt devastated from the loss of a hero, you couldn’t help but focus your attention on the last line of Steve’s message.

Bucky’s going to be there too. He’s back. He needs you to be there with him.

It wasn’t until the funeral was over that you finally got to have Bucky all to yourself. You had locked gazes when you arrived and staring back into his beautiful blue eyes again made your knees weak.

Bucky was really back.

“Hi.” He greeted you first, his voice remained the same— soft and gentle.

One word was enough to make you feel the warmth of his existence. Hearing him, seeing him again felt like finally coming home after a very long, tiring day.

“Hi, Buck.” You whispered.

Bucky’s smile was all it took for the dam to finally break. You’d burst into tears right then and there and you were more than ready to feel his arms around you after years of hugging yourself to sleep during his absence.

But the warmth never came. If any, Bucky stopped himself from doing so. You frowned when he took a step back from you, extending his metal arm to keep you at a certain length away from him.

“I’m sorry.” He uttered, refusing to meet your gaze.

“What do you mean?”

“I have to go.” He explained, gently squeezing your arm before rubbing circles on your skin using his thumb.

You didn’t understand why Bucky needed to go when he just got back. You just got him back. You had spent years crying over his disappearance only for him to come back and disappear again?

Bucky explained that he thought he got better but things have become so vastly different after the snap that it left him feeling broken and different again. He told you about Steve’s decision to go back in time, never to return again. How Tony’s death made him feel like it was too late to set things straight and how he would probably carry the guilt and regret from not being able to apologize for what he had done.

“I’ll help you, Buck. We’ll work through this together. I want to be by your side when things get better.” You insisted, tears blurring your vision as you tried to reach for Bucky, wanting to feel him again after such a long time.

But Bucky kept on moving away from you, he kept on pushing you away and you wanted to understand why he wouldn’t let you touch him.

“I’ll only hurt you, I don’t want that to happen. I want to get better because you deserve better. But I can’t do that with you because this...this is something that I gotta figure out by myself.” He further explained.

You shook your head, unable to accept his decision. “Buck...I don’t think I can lose you again. I just got you back...I can’t afford to lose you again, please?”

When you attempted to reach for Bucky’s hand, he finally let you. You quickly entwined your fingers through his metal ones and savored how they felt against your skin. They were cold as usual, but Bucky always oozed a certain warmth that made you feel safe.

But now they’re just that— cold and hard.

“I love you. I’ll wait, Bucky.” You murmured and tugged at his hand before he could even let you go.

Bucky smiled sadly at you, “You don’t have to, doll.”

You shook your head and brought Bucky’s hand to your lips as you cried, “I want to. And I will.”

Pressing one final kiss on his hard knuckles, you watched Bucky slip his hand away from yours before turning around to leave. You felt your chest tighten as if you lost all the oxygen in your lungs the same way you lost Bucky.

Losing him the second time around proved to be even more painful. Because this time, he didn’t just disappear.

He walked away.

-

You waited for Bucky to come home to you for days and weeks until they turned into months...and then years. Still, no Bucky walked through your doorstep but you never stopped hoping.

Sleep was such a rare occurrence to you since Bucky walked away. How do you honestly cope with the loss of someone when you haven’t even healed yet from his first disappearance? You wanted to get mad at him, curse him for suddenly deciding to leave you. But you felt selfish for even thinking about that, because Bucky left to better himself.

To be better for you. He said so himself.

So you kept waiting for him to come back. You made it your reason to keep going. You looked forward to the day you’d hear your door open followed by his heavy foot steps. You wondered, would he smell the same then? Would he still be using your favorite perfume on him? One that smelled like cedar wood and mint and well, Bucky. Would his hair still be of the same length? What about his beard? Would he shave them off before coming back home?

How about his gaze? Would his blue ones still look at you as if you were his moon?

As much as these thoughts made you miss him more, they were the ones that you held onto. They were like your glimmer of hope on nights you were the loneliest, on nights you cried and dreamt of his return only to wake up to an empty, cold space beside you.

You held onto these thoughts every single day in hopes of them becoming real soon enough.

People have told you to move on, to not waste your time waiting for someone who walked away just like that. But you trusted Bucky when he said he wanted to be better because you deserved better. You couldn’t move on, not from Bucky.

You love him with your entire being, so much that his absence caused you physical pain too. You couldn’t even find the right words to describe how much you love Bucky.

In the three years that you spent waiting, you’d met a lot of people too. People who showed interest but none of them really won you over.

You’d met a man named Andy through work. He was a lawyer and was dealing with his own divorce. The connection was there and you wouldn’t deny that.

Two people dealing with the grief from losing someone they love, it wasn’t that hard not to find a common ground. And you did find some solace in Andy and him in you. But it was just that, nothing more and nothing less.

“How has it been?” You asked Andy after he had settled into the booth across of you.

The restaurant was surprisingly scarce on a Sunday morning. Usually there were plenty of customers, their chatters overpowering the soft music playing in the background. Now, it was peaceful and the radio was turned off. There were only the clinks of plates of being set on tables and the footsteps of the staff walking around the place as they attended to the few customers around.

It was serene and peaceful, pretty much like Andy’s aura when he arrived.

“I wouldn’t say I’m fine but I guess I’m at a much better place now than before.” He said with a nod, as if he was finally agreeing with himself after questioning his emotions for the past few months.

You offered a kind smile and placed a hand on top of his, “It shows, Andy. I’m glad. I’m happy for you.” You said.

He had been going through a lot of emotions since he signed the divorce papers. He didn’t want to but knew it was for the best. Andy had a son, Jacob, and he didn’t want for his son to grow up in an environment where his parents no longer slept on the same bed. As much as he loved Laurie, the relationship was no longer working and was becoming toxic the more they stayed together.

“And you?” Andy asked back before calling the waiter.

You let out a deep breath, “Still waiting.” You chuckled as your stared at your hand that remained on top of Andy’s.

Andy spared you an apologetic glance but nodded, “I do hope he knows how lucky he is.” He said, turning his palm up so he could hold your hand.

To others, the gesture may seem romantic but it really wasn’t. You and Andy both knew that despite the similarities and the comfort you found in each other, the both of you were not meant to be together in that way.

Your heart still belonged to Bucky after all.

-

When you received an invitation from Sam Wilson, you felt confused and excited. There was going to be a huge gala at the compound to honor Steve Rogers’ legacy as Captain America.

You’d heard the news about Steve’s passing not long after he went back in time. He finally got to live the life he deserved and when he came back, it was as if everything had been corrected. He may no longer be the super soldier that many knew but he remained the same person— but he wasn’t the man out of time anymore. Despite his white hair and wrinkles, Steve looked the happiest he had ever been.

You wondered how Bucky coped up with such a huge loss, you always worried for him.

It sparked debate though, Steve’s decision to leave the Avengers. Some got angry, said that Steve was selfish for doing that. Others showed sympathy, that Steve didn’t owe the world anything. He’d spent a lifetime fighting for everyone. It was time that he fought for himself and what he deserved. And Sam fought just as hard for Steve’s legacy and finally, all his hard work finally paid off.

What confused you was whether Bucky was going to be there? Does he know about the gala? Was he finally back? If he was, why hasn’t he come home to you yet? You had so many questions that you wanted to ask.

The answers though, were literally in the palm of your hand— the invitation.

-

It was no surprise how big the gala was. Just on your way inside, you’d already come across a lot of big personalities. There were politicians and popular celebrities too. You felt intimidated given that you went by yourself and that you weren’t really part of their world.

You were just you, someone who had fallen in love with one Bucky Barnes who introduced you to the world of superheroes. The rest was history.

“I’m so glad you’re here!” You turned around and found Sam approaching you with a huge smile.

You embraced him and smiled as you pulled away, “I wouldn’t miss this for the world.” You told him.

It was Steve and Sam that you’d met first and they were nothing but kind to you. Despite being well, ordinary, they welcomed you like their own when Bucky had introduced you.

Sam’s expression changed at your response, “I honestly thought that you wouldn’t show up after Bucky said—“

“Bucky?” You immediately cut him off upon hearing his name.

“Bucky’s back?” You asked and Sam had never looked more confused as ever.

He carefully nodded, brows knitting together as he frantically looked around. “I thought you knew about it.”

“How long? How long has it been since he came back, Sam?” You probed, feeling your throat constricting at the unexpected revelation.

Sam merely looked at you with what seemed to be pity. Why? Why was he looking at you like he was sorry? And why didn’t Bucky tell you when he came back? Was he simply not ready? Or was he waiting for the right time?

“Sam, how long?” You asked again, voice firmer this time around.

“A year ago. He decided to join the Avengers but wanted to undergo formal training before taking on the responsibility of one.” He responded.

You opened your mouth to say something but it’s as if your whole body was paralyzed. He had been back for an entire year now...and yet he kept you waiting?

A hand on your arm pulled you back to the surface, looking up at Sam you shook your head in utter confusion.

“I don’t understand why he didn’t tell me.”

Sam sighed, “I thought you knew. He said he saw you and—“

Sam’s words died on his tongue when he saw that your attention was no longer on him. Following the line of your sight, Sam turned around and saw that Bucky had walked into the venue. He swallowed and couldn’t hide the guilt he felt from assuming that you knew about his return. Before he could apologize, you’d brushed past him as you kept your gaze on Bucky.

Why he didn’t inform you of his return was beyond you and to be honest, you couldn’t bring yourself to care about it for now. Because Bucky was right in front of you and it felt like forever since you last saw him.

A lot has changed. He chopped off his hair but he still sported some scruff. Bucky looked closer to his younger self back in the 40’s. You remembered the conversation you had with him about cutting his hair.

“Should I cut it?” Bucky stood in your bathroom, observing his long locks in the mirror as he ran his fingers through them.

You walked over to him, hugging him from behind and pressing your lips on his back before moving to stand beside him.

“Do you want to?” you asked.

Bucky scrunched his nose, “Maybe in the future. I do miss my hair back then.” he smiled.

You chuckled, “Back when Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes used to sweep the ladies off of their feet?” you teased.

Bucky turned to you and wrapped an arm around your wait pulling you closer to kiss your lips, “Hmm, I wanna see if that hair will have the same effect on you.” he said and kissed your cheek.

You hummed as you caressed his face with your delicate hands, “I’d like to see that too, but maybe you should keep the scruff.”

But it wasn’t just his hair that changed. It was his entire demeanor— his aura seemed a lot lighter now, he seemed happier and confident. You knew it for a fact because he wasn’t wearing a glove to hide his metal hand. It was out on display for everyone to see and shake, apparently.

You watched in awe as Bucky interacted with the people around him. He used to avoid eye contact with strangers but now he seemed relaxed doing so. Although he would still open and close his metal hand, something he did whenever he was anxious. The crowd still made him uncomfortable but he’s shown a lot of improvement since then.

The question as to why he never told you about his return continued to linger in the back of your head. But you couldn’t stop yourself from smiling from ear to ear, eyes brimming with tears as you quickened your steps.

Your Bucky was finally back.

And then the world seemed to have stopped when a certain blonde walked over to Bucky, her hand sliding over to his cheek as she leaned up to press a quick peck on his lips.

You knew her of course, Sharon Carter; and you knew about her and Steve. It was Bucky himself who told you about them and how proud he was that Steve finally decided to try his luck at romance. Which is why you felt even more appalled at the scene playing before you.

The way Bucky slid an arm around her waist, pulling her closer to him and how he tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. How he was smiling down at her, whispering to her ear as they laughed.

Bucky was in love with Sharon. You didn’t have to ask him that anymore because he was looking at her like she was his moon, his source of light in the darkness.

You knew that because he looked at you the same way, back when you still had his heart.

Suddenly, the questions plaguing your mind found their answers. You understood now why he never came home to you.

He did get better, you could tell that by the way he smiled and laughed.

Bucky was better now, but not for you. At least, not anymore.

-

Everything Bucky Tag List:

@ddowii @jessou893 @stealapizzamyheart @bagelofthelord @mxnt @dontputyourfckingdrinkonmytable @jeeperky @ohladymacbeth @wildflowergubler @supraveng @twinerd14 @buckysmar  @bakugouswh0r3

[itsthestutterforme]

Reunited 1/2 (Druig x black!deaf!reader)

Summary: Y/N was traveling with Eros to find the love of your life, Bucky. When you couldn't find him, your heart was broken. Druig, Makkari and Thena took you under their wing.

Notes: GIF is not mine, fluff angst

--

You felt a hand brush your arm lightly and your head snaps to whoever it was touching you. The voices and laughter of the men beside you rumbled the table you were sitting at.

You took out your hearing aid as soon as you say down. Pubs like these would cause your aid to malfunction and release a high pitch whine into your ear drum.

Your body eased when you see it was Eros with his hand on your arm. You reach for your aid but he shakes his head with a smile. "You don't have to put it on. I know it hurts you." You read his lips and give him a faint nod. "It's been two years, Eros. If I haven't found him by now. He's gone." You sign.

You've been looking for Bucky ever since the second snap and he is nowhere to be found. You tagged along with Eros, whom you met from Thor, to see if he was in another planet somehow and nothing. He was gone. You refused to believe it at first. But now, two years later, your heart broke all over again.

"I'm really sorry, Y/N." His eyebrows lift upwards as he speaks, a sign that he was genuine. "Thank you for helping me. But I would like to go back to Earth now. Try to find my new purpose." You signed. "I'll be happy to. But don't you want one last good fight before you officially retire?"

The thought of it brings a smile to your face. He's right. It has been a while since you've had a good fight. Since before the first snap. "Why not?" "Yes!" You could tell he was yelling from the vein pulsing on the side of his neck and the redness of his face.

"We leave now. I have some people I want you to meet." He offers you his hand and you took one last swig of your beer before holding his hand and grabbing your aids with your other hand. You, Eros and his little friend walk outside where Eros made a portal to a ship.

You put your hearing aids in your ears and roll your eyes when his little friend introduces him like he was a god or something. Well, you suppose he is but he doesn't need that going to his head.

You walk though the portal and trail behind Eros and his friend. "You are as beautiful as they say, Thena." Eros says and you roll your eyes once again.

"Your friend doesn't seem to think so," she looks to you and you tuck your hands in your back pockets. Eros follows her gaze to you and sends you a wink.

It took everything in you not to roll your eyes again. God of lust, your ass. "No disrespect to you, he just sucks at flirting." Earning a chuckle from Druig.

You look over to him; his cerulean colored eyes drifting to yours once he felt your eyes on him. You felt a gush of wind next to you from Makkari making her way over to you.

"You're deaf too?" Makkari signs. "Yes," "Were you born deaf?" "No, I went deaf three years ago. It was a freak accident." "What kind of accident?" She pried.

"She doesn't like to talk about it," Eros stated and you walked over to him. "Why are you here, if I may ask?" Druig asks. "I know why the other Eternals vanished. And I know how to help you find them."

"Why are you helping us?" Makkari signs. "Because I am an Eternal and the brother of Thanos. You are my people and I want to help."

"And what about you? Why are you helping us?" Druig asks you, his arms folded behind his back. "It's been ages since I had a good fight. Whoever took your family will not give them back easy." You explain and he gives you a once over.

"So you like to fight?" Thena asks with amusement lacing her voice. "I like challenges. Not fights." "Looks like you found one," Makkari signs, motion over to Thena.

**

Sitting down at the table nearest to the window, you blow into the steamy mug of coffee as you peer out the window at the stars and planets you've familiarized yourself with. Though you could never get used to planets with blue or red sand instead of the normal tan sand you grew up seeing.

Your hearing aids were in the room. You enjoyed waking up to peace. It's became a routine of yours. No aids until 10 a.m unless it called for it.

"You don't think much, do you?" You heard Druig's voice in your head and you looked over your shoulder to arch a brow. "You wanna try that again?" "No, no, no, that's not what I meant, love. I just mean that you're calm on the inside and outside."

He sits down across from you and examines your face with a soft smile. "You always start your day without your hearing aids?" You nod in response. "It gives me peace," he nods and opened his mouth to say something when he looks to the side.

You follow his gaze to Eros, who sits beside you and signs, "Good morning," "Morning," Makkari soon joins Druig's side and you meet his gaze for a moment. "Is there something wrong?" You ask in your head. "You're mysterious. I'm usually the mysterious type."

"Oh, so you're saying I'm stealing your thunder?" "Something like that," "There's a first time for everything." He sends you a playful glare and you take a sip of your coffee. Makkari and Eros shared a look as they watched the interaction between you two.

"You're thinking what I'm thinking right?" Eros signs. "Probably," Makkari says. Thena walks into the room with grace and leans against the counter top.

"You ready?" She speaks. Nodding, you sign, "Let me get my aids." You leave the room and trot over to grab them and met Thena in the training room.

"Oh this is going to be interesting," Eros says, popping a chip in his mouth. Druig steals the chips from him, earning a small 'hey!' You had your sword in your hand as you stood in the middle of the mat. Thena circled you with her own sword in her hand.

She lunges toward you and you step to the side, bringing up your sword behind you to block her strike. She pulls away and circles you again before she strikes.

She's feeling you out; seeing what you're made of before using all of her expertise. She strikes again, this time, throwing a kick while jabbing her sword forward.

Lifting your knee, you block her kick and moved out of the way of her jab. You threw a thrusting snap kick and swung your sword around, to which she caught and pulled the sword from your hand. You grumble when the sword collapsed to the floor with a cling!

When she lunged again, you clapped your hands around the face of the blade and twisted under her arms were crossed over each other. She had no choice but to let go of the sword and you shoved her backward to encourage her to try harder.

"That was a good one." She praises. Given, there was no way you would have ever won that fight. But at least you got a few good hits in.

You think back to that day as you take out your box braids in the bathroom. You took a break about half way through because your arms felt like anvils. You blew raspberries and wiped your eyes.

"You need help?" Makkari signs. "You don't have to," "I want to. Besides, there's something I wanted to talk with you about."

"Okay. Is everything okay?" "Yeah, it's just.. it's about Druig." "What about him?" "He seems to like you. Do you like him?" She leans against the doorframe.

"I'm not entirely sure... My heart belonged to someone very close to me, and he died. I'm not sure if I'm ready to be with someone just yet." You explain.

You've been traveling with them for the past month. If Eros trusts them, you would too. I'm sure Druig doesn't like me, Makkari. He's like that with everyone."

"He can't seem to stop staring at you. You will never catch him staring at us like that." "And you're sassy. He likes that." You both chuckle at her response.

You stand from the floor and huff before lifting your sore arms to unbraid the hair and toss it in the trash can. Makkari helps your unbraid the back while you unbraid the front.

"Can I help?" Thena asks. "Sure, you can unbraid the back with Makkari if you'd like." She takes her spot next to Makkari and waits a moment before saying, "So, what are you going to about Druig?"

Turning around with a puzzled look on your face, you push passed them to peer over the wall for Druig.

"Did he put you two up to this or something?" "No, I just.. it's been a long, long time since we saw Druig smile the way you make his smile." Thena explains. "I'm not entirely sure getting involved with him is the best thing." You resumed to unbraid your hair.

"It's okay to be scared," Makkari explains. "I'm not scared. I just don't think I'm in the right head space for another relationship."

"I don't think you're afraid of new love, you're afraid of old pain." Thena states. "You're right," you unbraided and talked to Makkari and Thena until you were done.

You throughly washed your hair that was only two inches long. You were exhausted by the time you finished washing, moisturizing your hair and adding your oil treatment.

Collapsing on your bed like a star fish, you take out your hearing aids and close your eyes for the first time that day.

You laid there for a moment until you heard, mind if I come in? floating around in your brain. Sure. You continued to lay down when he entered the room with a tray of food.

He sets the tray down on the nightstand and stands by the bed with his head cocked.

Your natural hair is beautiful.

Thank you.

I can tell you're self conscious about it. Don't be. It's gorgeous.

You sit up and cross your legs. "I'm going to ask you something and I need you to be honest with me." You sign. "You mind if I sit?" "No, I don't. Go ahead."

"Do invade my mind without me knowing?" "I respect you too much to do that. Don't get me wrong, I've been tempted. I bet there is a museum's worth of stories in that beautiful head of yours." "But I want you to know you the old fashioned way." You add.

"And what is that?" "Through conversation." You met his eyes for a moment and he raised his hand to caress your face. "I'll let you eat your dinner." He stands. "You mind keeping me company?"

[oops-aquarius]

tainted kisses

summary: steve needs some relaxation, which you provide to him

warnings: smut (!!!!), praise kink, slight degradation kink, a little bit of angst cuz a hoe is sad, oral fixation (duh), slight dom/sub dynamics (?), mentions of sadness/depression, tiny mommy kink (like barely there)

pairing: steve rogers x reader

word count: 2.2k

note(s): not edited well at all, also i used a prompt generator to get the promt i used (which is below !!)

prompt: “baths or water (tubs or jacuzzis; hot springs; water houses or steam rooms; the ocean; swimming pools.”

kink: “Oral fixation or fetishization (lips, tongue, or whole mouth; french-kissing; licking; oral displays using food or beer bottles; smoking cigarettes, cigars, or pipes; biting or chewing one's lip(s))”

--

***this is post-endgame except nobody died, cause im a hoe for all of the avengers***

Steve never realized how much he liked things in his mouth. Not always in a sexual way, at least not until after fighting Thanos.

After fighting for so long, bottling up his emotions was not at all how Steve needed to cope. He tried the yoga and meditation route Wanda had so kindly suggested. Yeah, after one session of hot yoga, Steve decided that it wasn't going to happen. Tony, obviously, suggested sex. Said something about it being a “healing experience for the soul”. That’s bullshit were Steve’s first thoughts when that came out of his mouth. Bucky told him to get some goats and raved about how therapeutic it was to raise them. But Steve could barely take care of himself, how would he even take care of a goat? Steve felt a hot sense of hopelessness burn against the back of his eyes as he sat on the floor of his bedroom, back pressed against the adjoined bathroom door.

“Steve?” A soft knock came from the front door. He took his thumb away from his mouth, he had resorted to subconsciously nibbling on the tip of it. Pulling himself off the door and towards the voice, he rubbed his tear-stricken cheeks in attempts to clean himself up a bit before seeing you.

“One sec, Y/N/N.”

When he opened the door, your face softened a bit before the smile that Steve, secretly, loved so much dropped off your face completely. “Stevie, what happened?”

Stevie, a nickname he hated for his entire life. A name that reminded him of the days before the super solider serum where he was a little guy getting beaten up on the streets of Brooklyn. Stevie, a nickname he loved hearing from your caring voice. Nobody else’s. 

“Just tired, Y/N” he sighed, “so,so tired.”

“Stevie,” your voice caught at the back of your throat. Seeing him in so much pain made your life turn upside down. He doesn't deserve to be in pain. “ S’there anything I can do to make you feel better?”

“Just stay with me? Please?”

You took him back into his bed and sat with him, just talking about life until his breathing turned back to normal and he seemed partially-okay. 

“Do you want to take a bath?” you asked, still stroking the blonde strands of his hair.

“Are you saying I smell?” He took his face out of the crook of your shoulder, feigning a look of hurt.

“No, punk, I meant to relax. You seemed pretty shaken up and I just wanted to help. I mean, that’s what I do when I feel down, relax in a bat-”

He cuts you off, “I appreciate it. Really, Y/N, I don’t know many people that are as loving and caring as you, sweetheart.” The nickname made a pang in your heart. You had like the super solider since you had met him, but never felt like he reciprocated the feelings. Even though you both cuddled often, and had movie nights, and he always let you beat him while sparring, and that one time you came down with a stomach bug and he fed you soup and-holy shit. Did Steve like you? “Sweetheart?”

“Huh?”

“I said, ‘A bath does sound nice’. What’s got you so suddenly zoned out?” He says, donning a smirk.

“It’s nothing. Let’s get you into that bath, mister,” you had a faux grumpy look on your face as you got up and walked to the bathroom, starting to fill the white, ceramic bathtub with warm water. “Okay, big boy. You need help getting up or are you okay?”

Rolling his eyes at your inauthentic tone, Steve pushes his tensed frame off the body and managed to stumble into the bathroom, while you following him closely to make sure he doesn't fall over from exhaustion.

“I get it, I’m old, but damn Y/N. I can walk perfectly fine,” He chuckles as he pushes himself up to sit on the counter top.

You start to fill up the bathtub with warm water, adding bubbles and lighting a few scented candles. He looked so pretty, hair sticking out in every direction, lips pink and puffy from biting them, his ocean blue eyes still misty as he looks down at his cuticles, picking them slightly. 

“Okay, I’m gonna leave so you can take this bath,” you say, shutting off the faucet, “Got it?”

“Y/N?”

“Yes, Stevie.”

“Stay, please.” His eyes were watering more than earlier. He had those puppy dog eyes, lip quivering as his voice cracked and wavered even with just a few words. He looked so vulnerable, how could you say no to him?

“Of course, Steve. I mean, the bubbles with kind of cover everything. I’ll just sit next to the tub with you, alright?” You awkwardly giggled and scratched the back of your neck. He nodded, hopping off of the counter and starting to undress himself with a wobble. “Stevie, you’re shaking like a leaf, let me help you.”

His eyes never met yours as you helped him pull his t-shirt over his head and looped your delicate fingers through the waistband of his sweatpants, dragging them down his muscular thighs. “You’re not gonna finish your job, doll?”

His boxers. The only clothes he had left on were his grey boxers. You wanted to give him privacy and not look, especially in such a broken and vulnerable state. But god, you could see the outline of his partially-hard cock through the soft cotton. You thought about what it would be like to have your mouth around his hard length, chocking on it as he rammed himself into the back of your throat.

“Ummm, I just--I thought--I mean I can---Only if you want--” The dirty thoughts clouded your brain. It made speaking a speaking a sentence almost impossible as your mouth watered just thinking about his cock.

“It was a joke, sweetheart,” he laughed heartily, “You’re too adorable.”

Pulling his boxers down his legs, he waddled tiredly over to the tub before stepping in. He groaned in pleasure at the feeling of the warm water encapsulating his exhausted body. You imagined that’s how he’d groan if you sucked his cock so hard he was seeing stars.

You were still facing the door, like you were as Steve got completely undressed. You knew if you turned around and look at him, naked and at ease, you’d jump his bones in a heartbeat. “Come sit with me, Y/N”

And you did. You turned around cautiously, like you expected, the bubbles covered his body enough for you to be able to handle yourself as you sat down next to the tub. You grabbed his hand away from his lips, running your soft fingers over his rough calloused ones. “I always see you biting your nails or cuticle or lips or your pens. Why?”

He sighed, “I’m not sure, I guess it just distracts me?” He said it more like it was a question rather than a statement. “I guess I don’t truly know why I do it, I guess I just enjoy having things in my mouth.”

You could read Steve like a book, his pupils blown with lust, his lip stuck between his teeth, a blush heating up his cheeks. You took a leap of faith.

“Yeah, like what?”

“You.”

His lips were on yours in a flurry, it took a second for you to react, but as soon as you did it felt amazing. Neither of you seemed to care about the water splashing over you as his hands trailed up your body, tugging at the hem of your shirt.

He pulls away panting, “F-Fuck, Y/N, I need you. Please. Oh my god I need you so bad,” His eyes looked as if they were welling up with tears and he looked so pretty still in the relaxing bubble bath, whimpering and whining for you. 

“God, I need you too, baby,” you stop to look in his eyes sincerely, “Are you sure you want this? I don’t want to do anything that you don’t want to do or that you will regret.” Your hand caresses his cheek.

“Just get in here with me and I’ll show you how much I want you,” he whispered, “Need you, really.”

You sighed before your hands moved shakily to take off your t shirt. As much as you wanted this, you were still scared of how the ripped super solider would feel about you and your body, As soon as your shirt was off, Steve was whimpering, dipping his hand into the soapy water to massage his aching cock. This only spurred you to take off your clothes and join him faster. 

“Did I say you could touch yourself, puppy?” Your stern voice caught him off-guard, making him pause his actions with a look of fear on his face. You step into the bathtub, straddling him. Your nails raked up his milky white thighs, trailing up his body admiring the beauty of it. “Y’Know I was planning on being nice to you because you’ve been so good to me, but you might need to be punished, baby? Do you need to punshied like a brat?”

He mewled, bowing his head in shame. You could feel him growing harder and harder by the second and you were starting to go crazy with the empty feeling inside of you that on he could fill. “No, ma’am. I’ll be good, I swear!”

“Mmmm, that’s my good boy.” Your hands slid up his chest and rested on his cheeks, hearing him preen at your praise, as you repositioned yourself over his cock. “Are you sure you want this?”

“If you dont ride me into next week right fucking now I’m going to scream, Y/N,” He breathed out with a chuckle, Grabbing your thighs, he helps you sink down on his cock. Both of you were moaning and whimpering messes by the time you were sitting at this base of him, trying to get adjusted to his large size. 

Hot tears burned at the back of his eyes as soon as you lifted yourself up off of him, only leaving the tip of him inside of you, and slamming back down on his dick. 

“Baby-please,” he whimpered, “n-need, shit, need your fingers, bad.” 

You were confused, slowing down a bit to make sure he was okay. But his puppy dog eyes showed that he was okay. Slowly taking your wrist from his cheek, he puts your fingers in his warm mouth. Moaning around them and swirling his tongue around them. He did it the same way you always dreamed about sucking his dick, chocking and gagging on his length.

“Yeah, you’re such a needy little slut for me, for this pussy. Look at you, so ruined and fucked out just because I’m fucking you.” He moaned sensually at your words making your core tighten impossibly. 

You had gotten a good idea as you were riding him. Slowly, you start to thrust your hand in and out of his mouth, watching the saliva dribble out of the corners of his mouth as he choked on you. The band in your tummy starts tightening as you feel yourself getting close. 

“Shit, fuck, baby, I’m gonna come. Oh my god, you’re make me come with your beautiful cock, puppy. So good for me, aren’t you?” Your free hand dips into the water, cupping his balls and rolling them around your soft palm.

He nods, choking on your nimble finger yet again his you massage his sensitive balls. “Gonna come,” he slurred and spit around you.\, “almost there.”

“I didn’t” you moaned as you feel his balls tighten, fall back down on his cock at a faster pace, “give you permission to do that. I thought you were going to be good for me?”

“I am” he spluttered loudly, “i am good, I swear. Just please let me come. I need it, oh shit, mommy.”

The name went straight to your core, making you grow weak as you feebly give him permission to come as you come undone with one more bounce on his large member. His hands come up to grope your breasts as he come with hot spurts inside of your tight cunt. 

“Oh my god,” you stifle a giggle as you stand up on shaky legs. You wordlessly helped him out of the tub and wrapped him in a white towel, walking him to bed while you dried yourself off. Collapsing on the bed with a grunt, the solider hollds out his hand to you, signalling you to lay down with him. You could easily tell he was still coming down from his sex high, starting to regain his self back.

“I dont know what possessed me to,” he pauses, trying to figure out a way to word the rest of his sentence, “to suck, I guess, on your hand. I’m sorry, Y/N, that was really weird of me.”

“What do’ya mean, baby? Having an oral fixation isn’t something to be ashamed of.” The words make him smile with droopy eyes, tucking his head into your neck and starting to fall asleep, happy and comfortable, cuddling you.

“And to be honest, puppy. I think it’s really hot.”

[meganwritesfanfics]

Reality Check

Bucky x Ice Powers Reader

The reader wakes up in the middle of the night to find that Bucky is not by her side. Her mind races and dark thoughts cloud her mind, all she can think is that Bucky never came back from the Blip. And her powers start to consume her.

Spoilers for Infinity War/ End Game

Word Count: 2461

“Bucky,” She called as she watched him stumble towards her. Y/N grabbed her side wincing with pain knowing her ribs were definitely broken. They had lost and she wanted nothing more than to hold onto her boyfriend. “Bucky,” Her voice cracked hard.

“Y/N,” He said, giving her an extremely concerned look and she could see that he was vanishing.

“No!” She screamed as she ran as fast as she could to him. But there was nothing she could do, by the time she reached him he had turned to dust. “No!”

Y/N woke with a start the sweat from her brow had already frozen to her forehead. She rubbed them away as she turned to reach for Bucky.

“Buck, I…” She said tears welling up in her eyes. But as she reached out expecting to find him laying next to her, she found the bed empty and cold. “Bucky.” She whimpered looking around for anything that would give her some sort of sign as to where he went. But there was nothing, no phone on the bedside table, no clothes left strewn on the floor. Nothing. Suddenly panic began to sink in, and the voices in her head came out full swing.

“Bucky never came back.”

“The snap made him vanish for good.”

“The past few months have been nothing but a dream, this is your reality.”

“He’s gone.”

“Bucky is dead.”

Y/N’s tears froze to her face as she let out a heart-shattering scream. She flung herself from the bed landing on the ground with a thud. Her screams continued as she slid into the back corner of the room, leaving ice handprints on the ground. Y/N’s hands shook as the tips of her fingers began to turn blue.

Sam's eyes snapped open as he heard the sound of screaming echoing down the hallways of the compound. It took him a moment to determine whether they were real or whether he was dreaming. But as they continued and he could recognize the voice of the person screaming, he knew it was real. Steve had told Sam about what had happened to Y/N after the snap. He had explained that there were many nights that first year when she would have nightmares and be completely inconsolable. There were even times when she would beg Steve to kill her so that she could be gone along with Bucky.

Bucky and Y/N had met soon after the accords. She had stood alongside Steve and he trusted her enough to help him with Bucky. They connected immediately. The guilt of their pasts, and the fear they both carried about harming people, made it easy to bond, because each knew that the other truly understood. They had begun dating a year before the battle with Thanos and they had fallen hard and fast. Bucky felt that Y/N kept him grounded and Y/N felt that Bucky kept her sane.

So with him gone, Y/N powers had become extremely unpredictable and dangerous. There were times when she would completely lose control and hurt someone, or herself. Steve had hoped that after they had won, and everyone who had snapped came back, that Y/N would be able to get a handle on them again, and no other problems would arise. But he warned Sam just in case.

Months had passed since the battle with Thanos, and Sam hadn’t really thought much about what Steve had said. Y/N had been fine, more than fine she had been ecstatic, having Bucky back. Sam didn’t think there was any problem anymore.

But as she screamed he could hear the pain and anguish in her voice, he knew something was terribly wrong. Bolting from his bed he made his way out into the hallway, noting the drastic temperature change as he made his way closer and closer to her room. As he reached for the door handle his palm burned from how cold the metal was, but he pushed through finding that ice covered most of the floor in her room and was climbing up the walls.

“Y/N!” He screamed as frantically searched around the room for her, careful not to fall on the ice.

It took him a moment to slide his way across the floor but as rounded the bed he could see her huddled in the corner.

“Y/N what’s wrong, where is Bucky?”

Y/N’s head snapped up at him glaring, her iris’ had changed to a piercing blue almost white color.

“He’s dead Sam, he never came back from the snap.” She sobbed, her tears were now leaving frozen ice streaks down her face and her lips were turning blue.

“What are you talking about Y/N, Bucky came back, just like I came back?”

“No, he never came back, he’s gone forever.”

“Y/N listen to me, Bucky came back, he probably just went for a run or something, I’m sure he will be right…”

“Liar!” Y/N screamed as she threw her hand out sending a shard of ice towards Sam. He quickly jumped out of the way but he shard sliced across his arm.

“Shit,” He said as he hit the ground blood from his wound sticking to the ice.

“Leave me alone Sam.” Y/N said and as he turned back to look at her he could see that her feet were starting to have ice form around them.

“God damn-it” He muttered as he made his way out of her room. Sam quickly made his way back to his bedroom grabbing his phone and called Bucky. “Come on man, pick up.” But the phone went to voicemail. Sam now was starting to freak out maybe something had happened to Bucky. But just as he was beginning to think that his phone rang and he looked down to see the familiar photo.

“Where the hell are you?”

“Woah, hello to you too Sam. I went on a jog to clear my head…” Bucky started laughing.

“You need to get back here now.”

Bucky’s tone completely changed as he could hear the urgency in Sam’s voice. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s Y/N she…” Sam didn’t even get a chance to finish as the phone hung up.

He knew Bucky was on his way back so he made his way downstairs to wait for him. It wasn’t another 5 minutes before he could see the Winter Soldier sprinting towards him.

“What happened?” He asked as the two of them made their way to Y/N’s room.

“She thinks you’re dead?”

“What!”

“I think she had a nightmare and when she woke up you were gone. Steve said that after the snap this happened a lot and…”

“This has happened before and you never told me!” Bucky snapped, turning back towards Sam.

“Steve said he thought that since you were back, she would be fine, he said he didn’t think it would ever get as bad as last time…”

“What happened last time?”

“Steve found her, she had frozen her entire room, she kept telling Steve that she just wanted to die so that she could be with you. They couldn’t get her to leave, Steve basically had to drag her out, and by that point, she was so frozen she…” Sam sighed. “She almost died, Buck.”

Bucky’s eyes went wide as he sprinted towards Y/N’s door. By now the door was completely covered in a sheet of ice.

“Shit,” Bucky gasped as he reached out to try to grab the handle, but there was so much ice on it that he couldn’t get a good grip. He quickly gave up and slammed his whole body into the door, breaking in, sending ice flying in every direction. “Y/N!” He screamed and he slipped on the ice slightly but kept his balance.

“She’s in the corner, but be careful, she threw ice at me last time.” Sam said as he inched his way behind Bucky.

“Doll,” Bucky cautiously said but as he got closer he could see that Y/N now had ice covering most of her body. “Oh my god.” He gasped as he fell to his knees and slid the rest of the way towards her. “Y/N, I need you to stop this. I’m right here, I'm ok.”

“Bucky?” She gasped as she stared at him, her eyes looking him up and down. “Is this real?”

“Yes, Мое сердце, this is real. I’m here.” And he watched as her eyes faded back to their normal color.

“Buck,” She cried as her teeth chattered.

“It’s ok, I got you.” Bucky quickly began to start to break off the ice that was around her. “Sam I need you to get as many blankets as you can find, and get some water boiling.” Bucky snapped and Sam took off.

“I thought you were dead, I thought you didn’t come back.” Y/N cried and the more she cried the thicker the ice got on her face.

“Дорогой, you have to stop crying.” He tried to soothe. Looking around the room he realized that there was no way he was going to be able to get her warm in this room, the temperature had to be approaching zero. “We have to get you out of here.” He said as he broke off as much ice as he could as he scooped her up into his arms. Her shirt ripped as it was stuck in the ice where she had been leaning up against the wall.

“I’ve got the blankets Buck where…” Sam said as he came in, holding an arm full of blankets.

“Take them out to the lounge, we need to get her warm,” Bucky said as he carefully made his way out of the room.

“I…. I’m s...s...sorry.” Y/N tried to say, her whole body was shaking as Bucky tried to hold her as close to him as possible trying to get her warm.

“Don’t apologize doll, everything is going to be ok. We just need to get you warmed up is all.” Bucky said trying not to panic, Y/N was so cold and her lips were turning a darker shade of blue by the minute.

“I got all the blankets on the couch for you,” Sam said as he ushered the two of them towards the lounge.

“Can you make her some tea, I have a box of her favorite in the cupboard.” Bucky said as he sat down with Y/N in his lap.

Sam was off to the kitchen leaving the two alone.

“Y/N we need to get these clothes off of you ok,” Bucky's hand rested softly on the exposed skin of her back trying his best not to wince at the touch of her very cold skin.

“S...S...Sergeant B...Barnes, I t..think you are j...just t..trying to get me n...naked.” Y/N smiled.

Bucky cracked a small smile as he began to work on removing her clothes, which turned out to be more difficult than he first anticipated. There were parts of her clothes that were still frozen to her body and it took more work to get him off, and it caused her more pain than he would have wanted.

“I’m sorry Дорогой, almost done I promise.”

“I love it when you speak Russian,” Y/N said as she struggled to stay awake.

“No, no come on Y/N, I need you to stay awake for me ok.” Bucky said as he placed his hand on her cheek.

“How is it that you are so warm?” Y/N mused as she leaned into his touch.

“Just lucky I guess.” He said as he finally got the last of her clothes off. He was quick to wrap the blanket around them knowing that at any moment Sam could come back.

“What a pair we make, the ice queen and her own personal space heater.” Y/N laughed as she snuggled into Bucky as he wrapped his arms around her tightly rubbing the blanket onto her trying to warm her up as best he could.

“Here you go, I think I made it right.” Sam said as he reached out holding the steaming mug.

“It’s tea Sam, you can’t really scre…” Y/N started but her eyes suddenly landed on the bloody scrape on his arm. “Did, did I hurt you Sam.”

“It’s nothing Y/N, just a little scrape.”

“Oh my god,” She gasped and Bucky felt her body start to get cold again.

“Y/N, I need you to calm down. Sam is fine. Everyone is fine.” He tried to soothe.

“You need to get away from me Bucky, I’m going to hurt you.” Y/N said her hands starting to shake again as the ice started to form around her finger tips once more.

“Sam, I need you to get out of here.” Bucky said. “Now.”

“Buck, I can…”

“Now!” He snapped and Sam quickly left.

“Bucky leave, I don’t want to hurt you.” Y/N sobbed ice tears streaming down her face again.

Bucky quickly grabbed her face in his hands. “You aren’t going to hurt me, Мое сердце, you aren’t going to hurt me.”

“I can’t control it Buck, I…”

“Yes you can, now look at me.” Bucky said urging Y/N to open her eyes. “Let me see those beautiful eyes.”

Slowly Y/N opened her eyes and they locked with Bucky’s.

“You aren’t going to hurt anyone, you can control this, just breathe with me ok.”

“But Buck…”

His hands quickly dropped from her face and grabbed both of her hands placing them on his chest holding them there. He began to hum My Destiny by Billy Eckstine, their song.

She tried to pull her hands away, still absolutely terrified of hurting him, but after a moment she began to melt into his touch, both metaphorically and literally. The ice began to melt away and she leaned into Bucky’s embrace once more.

“It’s going to be ok Y/N, I’m here. Everything is going to be alright.” Bucky laid down on the couch, situating Y/N on top of him as he held her close. “I love you so much doll.”

“I love you too Bucky.” Y/N said sleepily.

Bucky pulled out his phone pulling up his music and quietly began to play their song as the two drifted off to sleep.

My destiny is to be in love with you

Makes no difference what you say or do

I must stay in love with you

That's my destiny

It's the thing you can't control

I belong to you both heart and soul

With a love beyond control

[domesticloki]

A memory: The story behind the green dress part three

Pairing: Loki x fem!reader

Description: This story began as a very simple one shot about Loki’s powers, but I have let the story take me where it wants to go. So while I usually write one shots, this has become a larger work. I might at some point divide the chapters a little differently, but for now, this is the final chapter of the three part story.

You have been dating Loki for a month, when one Sunday takes your relationship to another level. Part one here and Part two here.

Word count: 2200

Warnings:  Anxious thoughts. Smut.  (18+)

A/N: After the fall of the TVA a Variant of Loki managed to survive Thanos’ attack on the Statesman. After the events of Infinity war, he met you, and finally got his happily ever after. This is a story of that ever after.

It was the middle of the night. You lay in bed, propped against the headboard, with Loki clinging tightly onto you. His head lay on your shoulder, his leg pushed up over yours. His breathing was beginning to calm. A light sniffle every now and then was all that tattled on his earlier tears. You rested your palm on his crown and cupped his arm with the other. 

You inhaled pointedly. It felt as if you had forgotten to breath for a moment. You tried to silence your own thoughts, assuring yourself that nothing more needed to be spoken today. You were at an impasse and what would come would come. But for now, you needed nothing else than to simply… be. 

You stared blankly ahead. You were exhausted but sleep eluded you. Too much had happened in the past few hours and your body was still working on expelling the adrenaline. You were both glad it happened but also entirely mortified by how. Your first fight.

Ask him what he thinks about you. Ask him if he still loves you. Ask him if you hurt him. Ask him if he wants to talk. Ask him about his feelings. Ask him. Ask him. He is keeping something from you. This wasn’t good, he just kissed you to shut you up. Nothing really changed. Ask him, ask him ASK HIM!

You inhaled pointedly again, trying to rid yourself of the intrusive thoughts. The last thing Loki needed right now was a spout of your anxiety. 

You felt the need to pee. Moving as smoothly as you could, you tried to manoeuvre yourself from under Loki without disturbing him too much. 

“Are you leaving now?” he whispered. Your heart felt like it had been wrung in a vice. His voice was so alien, so raw. It had none of his usual bravado, none of his mock-confidence. You struggled to see his expression in the dim lit room, but his voice told it all. He sounded broken.

You hurt him! You are a monster! Look at what you’ve done! Was it worth it! Idiot! Stupid! Moron! MONSTER!

“No, I’m just going to the bathroom,” you replied gently, grazing his forehead. You rose, tiptoeing into the bathroom. As you flipped the switch, the light offended your eyes and you squinted you way through your business. Returning into the bedroom, the darkness was even more thick than it had been when your eyes had been adjusted to it.

You felt your way with your hands and dove into the bed, almost crushing Loki in the progress.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…”

“That’s alright,” Loki mumbled. The both of you hesitated a moment, not sure at how you should position yourselves, until you finally opted in letting him spoon you. Situating yourself you sighed heavily as you tried to find a comfortable position. Loki threw his arm around you and buried the hand under your breast while the rest pulled you against him as it ran along your stomach onto your waist. He pushed his face into your neck. His nose was cold and he buried it between you and the pillow, resting his cheek and jaw on your skin. His breath was more rapid than it had been before, and you could feel the moistness of the tears still left on his face. 

You tried to relax into him through breathing deeply. In and out. In and out. In and out. You closed your eyes and listened to his heartbeat, aligning your breathing to his. 

Right as you were about to feel some relaxation and quite possibly start drifting off to sleep, you heard a murmur by your neck.

“Do you… need to leave tonight?” 

You sighed. “I should.” 

Loki tensed at your words. You spun around and lay face to face with him, trying to find his eyes in the dark.

“I mean, it’s the rational thing to do. I have no clothes and we need to get to work in the morning.” Loki stayed silent, but nodded gently.

“But,” you whispered and touched his chest. “I don’t think it’s the best thing for us right now. And quite frankly, I’m sick of always doing the rational thing. Some things are more important than duties.” You found Loki’s lips and as you planted your kiss, a fresh, salty tear was exposed. Had he been crying this entire time? “Well figure that out in the morning. Right now, let's just… try to sleep.”

You drew Loki into yourself, wrapping all your limbs around him and pulling his face to your bosom. His tears rolled onto your skin and he let out a soft sob. Relief. That’s what that sounded like. Loki’s hands travelling up your back sent a warm shiver through you and he flicked the comforter on top of you.

A moment later Loki broke the silence again. His voice was trembling, but he was not crying anymore.

“What if you… didn’t have to leave anymore?” You didn’t respond, trying to take in the meaning of the words, when Loki continued: “That didn’t come out right. I mean, in the future, what if we made it so that you didn’t have to leave this apartment?” Loki paused a second “Well, that wasn’t much of an improvement, norns. I mean… what if you..?”

“Had some of my clothes over here?” you offered.

“Yes. I mean no. That is… What if you had… all of them here?”

“You mean, like, move in with you?” you whispered, considering his words.

“Yes. Live, here… With me?” Loki whispered. You kissed him gently, inhaling his intoxicating scent. Loki returned your kiss as you pulled him to lay on you. His body glided against yours as both of your hands sought ever new ground to touch.From face to shoulders, back to chest, searching for as much as contact as possible. Lost in this embrace, you slid your leg up, opening yourself just enough that you felt him slide against your lower lips. His arousal was unnegotiable, and your wetness instant. Grabbing hold of your sides, he positioned himself with ease and his manhood began its slow repeated entrance into you. His thumbs dug into your ribcage and his fingers surely left imprints into your back as he forced himself to pace his thrusts into you, covering his tip and shaft in your juices half an inch at a time.

You felt delirious from his composed movements into your core. It pulsated hungrily, urging for a movement more rapid, more ferocious, more…  You tried to pull him closer but instead Loki kept hovering over you. He released his grip around you, steadying himself with one hand on the headboard and the other next to you on the bed. You opened your legs widely and his manhood found a calm pace into you. Nothing of him touched you more than it needed, and his thrusts were not feeding your hunger but rather starving you further. You clamped down the muscles in your core and he grunted at the pleasure the augmented pressure was adding to his advancement, but made no move to change his approach. 

You tried to reach for his chest, but your hands weren’t long enough. Suddenly Loki caught your eye line and you could see his piercing blue eyes in the dark, staring you down. 

“Yes, Loki,” you whispered. His look enquired clarification. “I would love nothing more than to live with you,” you offered gently.. Loki paused his movement. A joy like you’ve never seen lit his face as he leaned in closer to you and let his body relax on you, propped up against one elbow. His hand sought your face and you enveloped him in your arms.

“Are you sure?” he whispered.

“Nothing would make me happier,” you whispered with tearful eyes. For the first time that evening they were tears of joy. Loki let out a relieved sigh, before kissing you over and over again, letting his cheerfulness result in tiny pecks all over your lips, that you responded to, chuckling merrily. 

Finally Loki let his lips stay on yours and slowly withdrew from you, almost entirely. Then he perched your leg against his hip and re-entered you slowly from the new angle. You felt every moment of this plunge, as his manhood glided against the front of your entrance to make contact with the other wall and slid against it all the way up to the entrance of your womb. He retreated, only to repeat the plunge, slowly again, making sure to join his lower belly to yours in the final moments. The very end of his manhood burrowed into your opening in its final approach, sending heat from your opening up along your lips to your pearl. On his third plunge, he planted a sultry, languid kiss along your neck as he finished the approach with added speed. You gasped from pleasure and lost yourself to it.

He continued this, increasing his speed in tiny increments, bringing your core to a burn for him you had never experienced before. Right as you had become accustomed to the motion, he flicked his wrist and a burst of seidr elevated your lower half ever so slightly, making his next plunge into you send your eyes rolling to the back of your head and your back arching as you writhed in pleasure. 

Loki plunged deeply into you, over and over, as your peek rushed over you, and right as you were coming down from it, he rode you to another. 

“Oh my God Loki, “ you exclaimed, lost in the transcendence of his embrace. You tried to kiss him, to reach for his chest, perhaps his nipple, readying to switch position, when Loki gently placed your hand on his waist and shushed you.  

“Let’s enjoy this first. There is no hurry,” he whispered and kissed your neck. “Don’t think about it, darling, just feel,” he whispered and thrust into you. “Just enjoy,” he whispered and continued his steady pace into you just as your core convulsed once more with heat. “Just… breath,” he whispered. “Focus on feeling me inside of you.” 

Your eyes fluttered as his kisses took hold on your neck once more and you breathed in heavily, relaxing your aroused body into a steady rhythm. As he slid in and out of you, you focused on the motion and on enjoying his presence in you. You inhaled deeply and held your breath for a while, before releasing it softly. Again. And again. 

Doing so, you could feel the blood flow increasing around your core and your body’s reactions to Loki’s movements became enhanced. Each thrust into you was felt more deeply, each part of your contact with him sending signals to your nerves. Inhaling deeply once more, you found yourself knocking on rapture once more. Release. Inhale. Hold. Release. Inhale. Hold…

You were not ready for what followed. You released your breath slowly. It started as they always did, with a tingling of the nerves, where a tiny eruption of kind began in the joining of your bodies in your core. But while it normally died out quickly, followed by a wave of relaxation that covered your stomach and thighs, this one kept building and building and building. 

Loki ceased his movement and kept himself very still. His manhood pressed on the very same spot that it had touched to initiate this reaction within you. With your slow exhale, the explosion enveloped your core, releasing a burning heat wave that made time stand still. 

And then. Hold. The real wave. The relaxation that began from your joining, flushing your core, your thighs, your lower back, your backside, travelling down into your toes and up your spine all the way to the nape of your neck and onto your cheeks. It enveloped you slowly, unrushed, in a magnificent tingle. Your entire body shuddered.  

It was not the orgasm you were used to chasing, where your body rushed for one to get to the other, to finally stop when you were too sore to continue. This wasn’t just your core, hungry for more. No, this was your whole body reacting, releasing, relaxing. And as you pulled in another deep breath, the oxygen returning into your body sent out another wave of pleasurable relaxation washing over you. 

And then Loki moved in you, ever so slightly, sending another burst out from your core. You clamped down on him.

“Stop, stay,” you whispered, holding your breath once more. As the wave burst you burrowed your head into his shoulder, trying to keep him and you as still as possible until finally plopping, entirely inelegantly on the pillow. 

Loki adjusted himself slightly, but stayed hilted in you. You closed your eyes and searched for words but none came. In an attempt to say something you let out a dishevelled but entirely content “Ugh.”

Loki chuckled. 

“Look darling…” he whispered, brushing his nose against your jaw. “I… can’t promise I’ll learn to talk and share in one fell swoop. But… I appreciate your promise to keep pestering me until I do.” 

Loki turned your head to face him as he found your eyes. “And I promise in turn, to help you… silence your mind, once in a while and just… be.” 

You smiled, made blissful by both his actions and his words. 

“Deal,” you whispered as your lips joined in a tender kiss.

[luthientinu]

“We need to stop meeting like this.”- Scarlet Strange One Shot 10- Stephen Strange x Wanda Maximoff

Written for day 2 of the ScarletStrange shipping week!

Prompt: “We need to stop meeting like this.”

A/N- Here's my submission for Day 2 of the Scarletstrange week. I know I am late. Anyways Enjoy!

Wanda felt numb. Here she was trapped under the rubble of Mount Wundagore unable to die due to her magic powering her on. The gravity of her actions, the sins she had committed hit her like a wrecking ball. The people killed during the mission in Lagos, people she was supposed to save. Unleashing a hex at Westview, callously mind controlling the inhabitants for her own selfishness. Murdering the innocents at Kamar Taj without batting an eye. Almost killing an innocent child. Killing and creating havoc in another universe.

"I would never hurt anyone. I am not a monster’….the realisation she felt when she had become the very same thing she denied she was. The hurt she had inflicted on this little family of three…

 Oh Wanda, What have you done…. she could finally hear her conscience now that the influence of the Darkhold has disappeared leaving her broken and guilt ridden.

  She cried. She cried for her parents, Pietro, Vision, Natasha, Tony, her children and for all the lives she’d taken needlessly

Guilt was weighing heavily on Stephen’s shoulders. Wanda’s expression just before she destroyed Mount Wundagore haunted him. Behind the Scarlet Witch persona, Stephen saw a broken woman who had lost everything that she held dear. It reminded him how he was after the accident that cost his hands. 

  He really could have approached her after the battle with Thanos and asked her to join him at Kamar-Taj. She could have had a place to heal and train if she wished for it. Heck, he could have approached her after the incident at Westview. Thinking about the possibilities seemed irrelevant now. 

  Stephen held onto the inkling she had survived the ordeal and he hoped with all his heart it was not too late.

Wanda had uprooted and torn the Darkhold Castle down to the very foundation. Even with the magic aiding him, the task of shifting the rubble was extremely tedious. The sight in front of him broke his heart. 

  “Oh Wanda, we need to stop meeting like this…”

  All hell seemed to break loose when they meet or at the very least see each other. He had seen her bring Thanos down single handedly before he had given the order to fire. When they finally met, it was not in any way peaceful save for the first few minutes.

  She was unconscious and looked extremely worn down. Dried tear tracks painted her face. Her face was hollow and gaunt and looked very much dead except for the faint pulse. Stephen gently lifted her from the rubble and stepped through the portal into the Sanctum.

Wanda’s eyes flew open and she immediately winced at the sunlight pouring in through a nearby window. Window? She was supposed to be buried under the rubble. Debris is not supposed to feel soft right? She breathed in and out, trying to regain her bearings. She felt extremely sore and painful. She slowly opened her eyes and tried to sit up on the bed…she noticed she had an IV attached to her arm, the fluid steadily dripping down…

  “Hello Wanda.”

  Wanda almost gave herself a whiplash when she turned around towards Stephen’s voice. She opened her mouth…

  “Here, drink some water. Take very slow sips.” Stephen handed her a glass.

  She took the water gratefully, mindful enough to take small sips. The water felt heavenly on her parched throat. 

  Here she was with the man who she had tried to kill a few days or months ago (she lost her sense of time). The guilt hit her and she felt the tears fall uncontrollably.

  “Why am I here Stephen? After everything I’ve done? After all the people I’ve killed…” she whispered hoarsely. “....I am a monster…”

  Stephen sat on a nearby chair and took her hand. Wanda began talking. She poured her heart out and Stephen just listened. His heart ached for this woman who had to go through so much during her short life. Fate had dealt a very unfair deck to Wanda Maximoff. He sincerely hoped from this moment onwards she would have a chance to heal from all her trauma and pain. 

  Once she had told him everything, Stephen began. “You can still have a second chance Wanda…the road may not be easy but I would like to help you with every step if you’d like.”

  “Yes...yes please!” she nodded. Wanda had enough of the pain. She wanted to heal and she would gladly take any help.

  “Take some rest first.”

  Wanda settled back on the pillow. For once she felt a sliver of hope and she was not going to let it go any time sooner…for once she felt she was not waking up to a nightmare.

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A/N- I am sorry if this is a bit wonky...I wrote this in the middle of a terrible migraine (still having it) so please forgive me if there are any mistakes. I started with a totally different idea and ended it in a totally different way....yikes I am rambling. Hope I did okay though. Would really love to know what you all think. This posted on Ao3 and on Fanfiction.net too

[bebx]

Hello again (and sorry if I'm being annoying, I intended to only send one ask but then I got a more angsty idea and I couldn't resist... feel free to ignore it if you don't feel inspired. Also while I'm here thanks for your blog and your awesome Lokius content :D) So: "how would Loki react to learning pre-TVA Mobius had been a child of Thanos?"

Don’t be sorry! You’re not annoying at all and I always love getting any Lokius related ask! Plus, this is indeed an interesting concept! The angst 👀🔥 and thank you so much for the kind words 💗

Before getting started, I think there’re several scenarios to consider here;

Mobius knew he was a child of Thanos and he told Loki right from the beginning.

Mobius knew he was a child of Thanos and he told Loki later, when he thought he was done keeping it a secret.

Mobius knew he was a child of Thanos and he kept it from Loki until Loki learned the truth himself.

Mobius didn’t know he was a child of Thanos and he and Loki learned the truth together.

Mobius knew he was a child of Thanos and he told Loki right from the beginning. — in this case, it’d mean Loki knew who Mobius was when they first met, right after The TVA arrested him; he and Mobius were not in a relationship, not even friends but complete strangers, when Loki already considered Mobius an enemy. So I think his reaction would be... a lot more aggressive, more violent than he’d canonically been in the first episode, especially when he’d only recently somehow escaped from Thanos’s clutch, only to learn he fell right into the grip of his minion. It wouldn’t matter, if Mobius told him he was no longer associated with Thanos, because Loki had no reason to trust or to ever believe a word from the mouth of Thanos’s child. My guess is that, it wouldn’t end pretty, because everything Mobius said, Loki counted as a lie, and somehow it’d only keep angering him, keep breaking him down even further, keep scaring him more and more (and Loki was failing at trying to hide that fear.)

Mobius knew he was a child of Thanos and he told Loki later, when he thought he was done keeping it a secret. — Loki’s reaction, I believe, would be similar to his reaction when he learned he was a Frost Giant; confused, lost, hurt, betrayed, because he trusted Mobius and all these time they spent together... so yes, he would be broken. He would need some time to be alone, and even if it killed Mobius as much as it did Loki, Mobius would grant him his wish, because deep down Mobius knew the best thing to do, would be to give Loki some space. (And if Loki never forgave him, Mobius would understand.) But then it would be Loki who approached Mobius, once he was calmed enough, then they would talk. Mobius would apologize for not telling him since the beginning, he only ever kept it to himself because he was afraid Loki would hate him, he was afraid of losing Loki, in the end he couldn’t be so selfish; Loki deserved to know the truth. And if he wanted to walk away now, Mobius would understand. But Loki didn’t walk away. He was hurt, yes, but he deep down he also knew Mobius would never hurt him, even with his past association with Thanos, Mobius was still the man he fell in love with. They’d talk and they’d get through it together.

Mobius knew he was a child of Thanos and he kept it from Loki until Loki learned the truth himself. — I believe things wouldn’t be much different than the previous scenario, with the only difference being, Loki found out the truth himself. Because there’s a huge difference between ‘Mobius choosing to do the right thing by telling Loki the truth on his own’ and ‘Loki accidentally stumbling upon the truth and having triggered that memories he tried to bury about his accidentally stumbling upon the truth about his true heritage by himself,’ the latter case is understandably a lot less pretty. So his anger and his pain ran deeper than they would’ve done, had Loki learned the truth from Mobius’s mouth, instead of learning it himself. But overall, the love Loki and Mobius had for each other was real; Mobius never ever wanted to hurt Loki, and deep down Loki knew that. So they’d talk and they’d make things right again, because Mobius didn’t give up on Loki back then, so Loki wasn’t going to give up on Mobius now.

Mobius didn’t know he was a child of Thanos and he and Loki learned the truth together. — This is my personal favorite scenario, by the way. In my opinion, Mobius would be shocked and broken, not because he was a child of Thanos, but because his being a child of Thanos meant he was associated with Loki’s abuser, and this was the part where Mobius’s worst fear came into action; what if Mobius also played a part in hurting Loki? Mobius would be confused, lost, scared, and hurt. I can even see him trying to distant himself from Loki, because the thought of himself having anything to do with the torture Loki went through, was unbearable. But Loki would try his best to comfort Mobius. Loki had been through the same thing; learning the truth about who he was, so he knew how it felt, how scary and confusing it could be. He would try to comfort Mobius, assuring Mobius he could never hurt him. And while Mobius tried telling Loki to stay away, because Mobius was a ‘monster’ Loki would pull him close, never let him go, and he’d let Mobius cry on his chest until Mobius exhausted himself and calmed down while still in Loki’s arms. Loki would keep telling Mobius that his past was his past. What mattered, was who Mobius was now. What mattered, was the future they were going to have together. He wouldn’t mind telling Mobius, that Mobius would never hurt him, every single day for the next thousand years, if that was what it took to make Mobius believe he would never hurt Loki.

[imagines4thefandoms]

Bucky Jr.

so i was planning on writing a small one shot based off of “Ive been watching you” by Rodney Atkins but it grew into a 5K+ imagine.

Takes place during/after endgame so don’t read if you haven’t seen it but it you haven’t are you living under a rock? all of the details based on the movie were written based off memory so if the dialog is a bit off its because i haven’t seen the movie in a while. 

word count: 5k+ like i said i got carried away. 

Bucky Barnes x reader, Steve x platonic! reader

y/n found out she was pregnant three months after they lost to thanos i think you can imagine how this story goes based off the ending of the movie and the song i based this story off of. 

You honestly never thought that you could get Bucky  after you found out that Thanos destroyed the stones. You did everything you could to try and get him back: going to the sanctum to see if there was a spell, pray, hell you even thought you would try to sell your soul. You even looked into the multiverse theory but nothing worked. Three months after half the universe turned to dust you found out that you were pregnant. The thought of having the baby without Bucky there, hurt.  

Steve knew something was wrong when he hadn’t heard from you for a couple of days. He drove over to the house that you and Bucky had gotten.  The only people who knew about the house was you, Bucky and Steve. And because Steve was Steve, he had gotten a spare key, so when he pulled up to the house he just walked right in.  

Steve called out for you but you were too deep into your depression to hear him. You didn’t know that her was here til there was a knock on the bedroom door. You got out of bed so fast cause you thought that Bucky was back.

“Buck,” you asked opening the door.

Your smile fell when you saw that it was just Steve. You had forgotten that Steve knew about the house. Steve game you a soft smile because he knew how hard you were taking the loss. You left the door open and climbed back in into the bed. Steve walked over and sat by your feet.

“He’s not coming back is he,” you asked softly.

“I don’t think so,” he replied.

“I can’t do this without him Steve.”

“Do what?”

You reached into your night stand, grabbed the positive pregnancy test and handed it to Steve. He looked at the text then back at you.

“Did he know,” he asked placing the text on the nightstand.

“No. I didn’t know til last week. Steve I can’t do this alone.”

“(Y/n) you will not be doing it alone. I will be here for you,” he told you pulling the covers off. “Now come on. Time for you to get up.”

“No,” you said taking your pillow and covering your face with it.

“As godfather and favorite uncle it is my duty to get you to get out of bed.”

“Bold of you to assume you're the godfather,” you teased.

~five years later~

Ever since then Steve has been there for you every step go the way. He went to the doctor’s appointments, he helped you decorate the nursery, he even helped you pick the perfect name when you found out it was a boy: James Buchanan Barnes Jr.

Steve moved into the house, Bucky made sure that there was a spare room for Steve, to help you with the long nights after James was born. Every time he woke up to chance a dirty diaper, you would complain and tell him that you got it but he would reply with his same cheesy joke, “I’ve slept for 70 years.”

Steve was there for each step of James’ life. His first word: Steve, well it was te. His first steps, his first day of school. Steve even taught him how to ride a bike. He was like a dad to James, but he never took the role of dad. Every night before bed Steve would tell James stories of Bucky and growing up the two of you made sure that James knew about his father.

“Is daddy ever going to come back,” James asked Steve.

“I don’t think so,” Steve told James sadly.

“Mommy doesn’t talk about what happened to daddy. Can you tell me uncle te,” your son asked.

“Well you know how your parents and I are avengers?”

“Yea.”

“Well there was a bad guy that wanted to wipe out half the universe, so us and the rest of the avengers went to stop him. But we didn’t win so he wiped out half the universe and your daddy was one of those people who got wiped away.” Steve explained.

“Oh you mean the blip.”

“Yea.”

“I wish I met him,” James said pulling his covers up to his chin.

“Me too bud,” Steve tucking him in.

“Uncle te.”

“Yes buck,” Steve responded using the nick he called Buck. He only calls James that when you’re not around as to night hurt your feelings.

“Do you think daddy would like me?”

“I know your daddy would love you,” Steve assured him as he kissed if forehead.

James grabbed the photo of Bucky that you put of his nightstand and held it against his chest. Steve turned off the lights then left his room. Steve stopped when he saw you standing outside James’ room.

“He wanted to know,” he started to say ready to explain why he told James what he told him.

“He’s old enough to know. Im just glad you told him and not me. I would have broken down.”

Steve pulled you in to a hug. You pushed away from him and gave him a small smile letting him know that you appreciated the hug. Steve left to go to bed while you went to the living room and sat on the couch. You grabbed the photo book off the coffee table full of pictures of you and Bucky and just looked at them til you fell asleep.

The next morning you woke up from James pulling your eyelids open. Steve tried to stop him before he woke you up but he was a little too late.

“Sorry I tried to stop him,” Steve said handing you his coffee.

“But mommy had to wake up cause we are going to see Aunt Nat,” James said sitting down at the table eating his breakfast.

After finishing half the cup you got up and went to kiss James’ head. “Your right how silly of me to sleep.”

You finished the coffee and handed the empty up of Steve on your way to your room to get dressed. Going to your closet, you grabbed one of Bucky’s shirts and a pair of jeans. As soon as you finished getting ready for the day there was a little knock at the door.

“Mommy hurry up. I want to see Aunt Nat,”

You opened the door and ruffled his hair as you walked past him. “It that because she shows you all of the old weapons at the compound,” you asked as you grabbed the toast that Steve had made for you.

James stoped in his tracks and looked at you and Steve. “How did you know. It’s supposed to be a secret,” he asked.

“Thats because your mom knows everything,” Steve replied.

“Nu uh, Mommy what’s 12 x 12,” James asked crossing his hands over his chest and tilting his head a little.

“144,” you answered him.

James went over to Steve and held is hand out for Steve’s phone. He pulled it from his pocket and opened the calculator app. He checked your answer and looked up at you with shock and awe.

“Wow mommy does know everything,” he replied handing Steve back is phone.

After ten minutes and James running back to his room to grab his teddy bear Sarge, which he dressed to look like Bucky, the three of you left for the compound. While in the car, James wouldn’t sit still cause he was too excited to see Natasha.

“James, pleas stop kicking my seat,” You asked him.

“Im just too excited,” he replied using his hands to emphasize his statement. “Can we listen to the song?”

“What song it that buddy,” Steve asked looking to James in the rearview mirror.

“Mommy knows the song.”

Steve looked over at you from the driver seat and you smirked at him while grabbing your phone and finding the video. James quickly calmed down once he knew you were going to put the song on.

“Uncle te, you can sing it too,” He said hold Sarge tight in anticipation.

“I might not know the song,” Steve replied.

“Oh you know it,” you smirked.

The song started to play and James pretended to march in place while in his car seat.

Who’s strong and brave to save the American way

“Not all of use can storm a beach or drive a tank. But there is still a way for all of us can fight” James spoke.

Who vows to fight like a man for what’s right night and day

“Series E defense bonds, each one you buy is a bullet in the barrel of your best guy’s gun”

Who will complain door to door for America

Carry the flag shore to shore for America

From Hoboken to Spokane

The Star Spangled Man with a Plan

“How do you know that,” Steve asked James and you.

“Mommy found it. It’s my favorite,” James replied.

Steve looked over at you and just shook his head. You noticed how red his face was and you just turned it up a little. The entire ride James spoke Steve’s part. After the second go around James convinced Steve to do it with him.

You couldn’t tell who was more happy to see the compound James, to see Nat, or Steve, so you could stop playing his song. As soon as the car came to a stop James unbuckled and got out of the car. Natasha walked out of the compound and held her arms open for James.

“Aunt Nat,” James yelled running into her arms.

“Hey JJ.”

After they went inside you didn’t really see either til lunch time. And since you didn’t hear an explosion you didn’t worry. James was eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich while nat was talking with Carol, Okoye, Rocket, and Rhodey.

After everyone hung up nat teared up a little because of Clint and James noticed. He grabbed Sarge who was in the chair next to him and handed him to her. “Here Aunt Nat, Sarge makes me feel better when I am sad.” James then went back to eating his sandwich while Steve and Nat talked a little. Then you noticed that someone was at the gate.

“Is that Scott,” you asked.

“How old is that,” Steve asked.

“Its live.”

“James stay here,” you told him as the three of you ran to see if Scott was really back.

The four of you came back to the room and James just looked at confusion. Scott explained how he was here and his plan to get everyone back. You, Nat and Steve looked at each other while Scott sat next to James and ate Natasha’s peanut butter sandwich.

“Hi,” James said pushing a glass of milk to Scott.

“Hey,” Scott replied with a questioning look.

“My name is James Buchanan Barnes Jr.,” James introduced himself. “Wait are you Antman?”

“Yes I am.’

“You are so cool.”

“Thanks kid,” Scott thanked him and finished the sandwich. “I knew your dad.”

“Really, were you friends or did he try to beat you up when Hydra was hurting him?”

“Friends, well I helped him when he was in trouble,” Scott explained.

James nodded his head and thanked Scott for helping his dad, then continued to eat his sandwich. Scott finished his milk then walked over to you and motioned back to James.

“Cute kid.”

~time skip~

After the meeting with BruceHulk, you and Steve knew of the only person who might be able to help. James sat in the middle between you and Scott one the ride up to Tony’s cabin. The entire ride James and Scott were talking about Antman things. Once we got to the cabin James’ fascination with Scott disappeared. All he want to do was play with Morgan. He ran past Tony and gave Morgan a hug.

“Hi Morgan,” James said after their hug.

“James you came to play,” Morgan asked James nodded his head and they ran off to play.

“Hello to you too,” Tony called out to your son.

“Sorry. Hi uncle Tony,” James called out.

Steve, Nat, Scott and you talked to Tony and explained what the plan was. Tony didn’t agree with the plan and kept saying that it wouldn’t work. Morgan and James ran inside. Then Morgan ran back out to “save” Tony. He invited you to stay for lunch which you accepted and went in to see James helping pepper set up the table.

“Aunt pep, I need one more fork,” James said looking at the table counting the plates.

“Here,” she said holding one out for him.

He put the fork in its place and then ran to whisper something in Morgan’s ear. She agreed to whatever he said. They went into the kitchen and grabbed a towel and held it over their arms. James opened his mouth then closed it and went over to pepper. He tapped her leg and motioned for her to bend over so he could whisper in her ear. She whispered something back then came back to stand next to Morgan.

“Lunch will be ready in three minutes,” James said.

“Please wait to be seated,” Morgan stated.

They both came over to Steve and asked for his name. After he gave it name they check the “list” on Morgan’s hand and both nodded their heads.

“Right his way, Mr. Rodgers,” James said leading Steve to his seat.

They did this for everyone and then helped hand out the food to everyone. After lunch the kids played a little while longer but then it was time to leave. You had to figure out time travel without the help of Tony.

“Bye Morgan,” James said sadly.

“Bye James,” Morgan replied equally sad.

The entire time you guys where trying to perfect time travel James was standing next to Bruce wearing a lab coat that was too big and hold a clip board holding some of his drawings. You didn’t tell him why you guys were building a time machine because you didn’t want to get his hopes up.

After all the mishaps with Scott you walked over to James and asked for his scientific opinion on what you were doing wrong. He replied with ‘maybe the clock is broken’. Steve went outside for fresh air while you tried to help Bruce solve this. You were surprised when you saw Steve come back inside with not only his shield but also Tony.

“Let me guess, you were messing around and cracked time travel,” you asked throwing your hands in the air.

“Yes,” Tony said walking over to bruce.

“Wow, is that the shield,” James asked running over to Steve and ran his fingers on the vibranium disk. “Its beautiful.”

“Hold it,” Steve said handing it too James.

His eye lit up and he ran around pretending to be Captain America. After Tony explained how he cracked time travel the team split up to get more people to help with the mission. Tony got Rhodes, Nat got Clint, once rocket and Nebula got back to earth bruce and rocket went to get Thor. You called Pepper and asked her to watch James while you completed the mission and she agreed to so you and Steve brought him back to Tony’s cabin.

Once you pulled up you and Steve looked at each other and decided that now was the time to explain everything to him. Before he opened the door you told him that you needed to talk.

“Do you know why your staying with Morgan and aunt Pep for a couple hours,” you asked him.

“Cause you have a mission,” he asked.

“Yes but do you know what the mission is,” Steve asked him.

“No its top secret. Constitutional.”

“confidential,” you corrected him. “The mission is to bring back daddy and everyone who got blipped away,”

“Your going to save daddy,” James asked.

“Yes.”

“I want to help,” he exclaimed.

“I know you do bud but it's too dangerous. And we need you to be safe. Your dad would want you to be safe,” Steve stated to talk him down.

“Fine but you will call me right after.”

“Yes.”

“Ok, be safe and save daddy,” James said kissing you and Steve on the cheek before he got out of the car and ran too Morgan.  

Pepper waved to you to let you know everything would be okay then you and Steve drove back to the compound. Once you two got back, everyone was in a room talking about the stones and when the best time to get them was. It was decided that New York 2012 would be the best time to get the mind, space and time stone, 2013 Asgard would be the best time to get the reality stone, and 2014 Space would be the best time to get the soul and power stone. The teams were Steve, bruce, Tony and Scott would go to 2012, Thor and rocket would get the reality stone, nebula and Rhodes would get the power, while you Clint and Natasha would get the soul stone.

Everyone suited up and we all wished everyone good luck on their missions to receive the stones. You were standing next to Steve and the next thing you knew you where on an alien planet in the year 2014. Rhodes enlarged the Guardians’ ship and flew team soul stone to vormir. There was a long hike to where the stone was supposed to be. The three of you climbed to the top of the twin mountains and where greeted by the Red Skull. It threw you for a loop but decided to focus on getting Bucky back then the head of hydra at least for now. He explained how we were to get the stone and it was along the lines of soul for a soul. So the three of you sat there in defeat.

“There has to be another way,” you said looking between the two former assassins who where having a whole conversation without talking.

“We have to get that stone. What ever it takes,” Nat said and Clint repeated ‘whatever it takes’

They both stood up and then looked confused at each other. Then you realized what their plan was. Nat was going to sacrifice herself for the stone and Clint was going to do the same.

“No way. That is not happening,” you told them.

“Its the only way,” Nat said walking over to you. “Tell JJ I love them. And get everyone back.”

Nat gave you a hug and an electric shock surged through your whole body. The amount of electricity that you got hit with knocked you out and you didn’t wake up it after you go the stone. You woke up next to Clint in some lake.

“No,” you cried when you saw the stone in his hand and Nat no where to be found.

The two of you took a second to gather your emotions then pressed your belt and went back to 2023. You came back to the platform where left on and just dropped to your knees. Steve came over and checked you for any wounds.

“She’s gone,” you cried as you wrapped your arms around him.

Everyone gave Tony the stones so he could build the gauntlet while you went out to the lake. One by one everyone showed up too. There was a small argument over whether or not we gaunt get Nat back with the stones but you and Clint knew you couldn’t. Steve walked over to you and sat down.

“How am I going to tell James that she’s gone,” you asked him.

“You won’t have to do it alone cause we are going to get Buck back and then all three of us will go tell him,” Steve said rubbing your back.

Everyone went back inside to prepare to bring everyone back. Thor really wanted to be the one to snap everyone back but it was decided that Bruce would do it. In his works, “its mostly gamma radiation. I was made to do this.” He put the gauntlet on and snapped his fingers. The power of the stones sort of burned his arms and you ripped the gauntlet off of him while Tony tried to help with the burns.

You couldn’t really tell that it worked but you heard birds. Lots of them. Then a phone started to ring and by the look on Clint’s face you were guessing it was his wife calling and so it worked. You looked at Steve and were about to tell him it worked when the whole compound blew up. The force knocked you out a bit and you woke up later next to Clint. You saw the gauntlet laying a couple feet away so you grabbed it cause there was no was a friend blew you up.

And you were right it turned out to be Thanos from 2014 because the nebula that came back want your nice nebula. You were trying to get out from all the rubble when you heard Steves painful groans. Of course Steve was facing the titan by himself. Once you could breath fresh air you looked out at the wasteland that was once the compound. You saw Steve get up and take a stand against Thanos alone. You were about to run to his side when you heard a faint voice on the comms.

“On your left,” you heard Sam say.

You never thought hearing Sam Wilson’s voice you make you cry but it did. Because if he was back so was Bucky. All around golden circles of sparks emerged and dozens of people stepped out. You made your way to take a stand against Thanos and out the corner of your eye you saw him. You fought the urge to run to him and never let him go. That could wait.

Thanos’s creepy alien army charged at us and we charged at them. You killed a bunch of the dog thingy and eventually found yourself next to Bucky. During a small window of peace you turned to him and jumped in his arms.

“Hey doll,” he said holding you tight.

“God I missed you Buck,” you cried.

“Sorry I was gone so long,” he replied pushing you back and pressing his lips firmly against yours. “You look gorgeous by the way.”

“There is something I really need to tell you Bucky.”

He pulled you close to him and then shot at some aliens behind you. “We are kinda in the middle of a war here doll. Tell me after we win.” He ran off to kill more aliens and you did the same. You were taking a hit but over the comms you heard a plan. To get the stones back before Thanos could use them again. So during the fight there was a game of Hot potato that was being played with the gauntlet. It work for a while but eventually Thanos got the stone. It happened so quickly. He was about to snap his fingers when Tony jumped on him. Thanos threw in aside then snapped his fingers. You closed your eyes to prepare for another loss but nothing happened. Then you looked over at Tony and saw that he had the stones. He snapped his finger and Thanos and the other aliens turned to dust.

You ran over to bucky and jumped in his arms again to celebrate the win but stopped when you noticed that Tony wasn’t getting up. Pepper and Peter when over to him. It didn’t look good. You noticed pepper crying and you knew that he didn’t make it. Everyone took a knee to honor him. The Steve, Thor, and Dr. Strange walked over and helped cover his body and retrieve the stones.  You cried into Bucky’s then thought of James. Once Tony’s body was covered and the stones were safely put in a briefcase. You let go on Bucky and ran to Steve.

“James,” you cried.

Pepper walked over to you and you gave her a hug. She told you how Happy was with the kids. You felt bad for only thinking of James while your friend just died. Pepper looked at you and shook her head like she knew what you were thinking.

“Lets go,” Pepper said and you walked over to strange and asked him to do his portal to the cabin.

Bucky was right behind you completely confused on what you were doing. You looked at him and just smiled as you grabbed Steves hand then his and walked the the portal after Pepper. She ran inside but the three of you stayed outside.

“Bucky that thing I wanted to tell you,” you told him.

“I get it doll. Five years is a long time and you didn’t think I would come back,” he said looking at how you were still holding Steve’s hand.

You followed to where he was looking and stepped away from Steve. “No its not that,” you started to explain but were interpreted by James running out of the Cabin.

“Mommy,” he cried running to you. “Uncle Tony.”

“I know,” you dropped to your knees and hugged him.

You didn’t let go til he look over at Steve and he ran out of your arms into his. “Your okay,” James cried.

“Yes buddy. Just a little come cuts but I will be okay,” Steve replied.

You got up and looked over at Bucky was you could tell what he was thinking by the look in his eye. You went to go tell him he was wrong but heard James from behind you.

“You did it. Thats him right,” you son said wiping his tears away.

“Yea. Thats him,” Steve informed him.

James walked over to Bucky and just looked up at him. Bucky knelt down to meet the boy who he thought was yours and Steve’s kid.

“Hey,” Bucky said.

“Hi,” James replied looking at Buck’s face. “You’re taller than I imagined.”

“Yea,” Buck laughed. “Whats your name?”

“James Buchanan Barnes Jr. and this is Sarge,” James said showing Bucky his teddy.

Bucky looked at James then at you. “I thought…”

“You well you were never the sharpest tool,” you cut him off.

“Im glad I get to meet you dad,” James said wrapping his arms around Bucky.

“Me too.”

~time skip~

It has been a couple weeks since Tony and Nat’s funeral and James was taking Nat’s death better than you expected. You were pretty sure he was to busy getting to know Bucky to let her death get to him and you weren’t complaining.

“What happened to your arm. Mommy and uncle Te never told me that story,” James said poking Bucky’s metal arm.

“I lost it when I fell off a train,” Bucky explained.

“That was back in World War 2. How are you still alive? Did you crash a plane into water like uncle te?”

“No but I was frozen like him for a while.”

“When you were getting hurt by hydra.”

“Yes but now I'm all better.”

“Cool will you feel it if I punch your metal arm?”

“No.”

“Awesome. I want a metal arm.”

“Maybe for Christmas,” you replied laughing.

Steve came into the living room from the kitchen with drinks. James yelled something about doing something important and ran out of the room. The three of you sat in the living room and caught up. You told Bucky everything about James and Steve told y’all about his trip to return the stones. James came back into the living room ten minutes later with a huge smile on his face.

“What did you do,” you asked him.

“Nothing,” he replied.

Steve and Bucky looked at each other and just laughed. They mentioned how much James was like Bucky when he was a kid.

“Mommy can i’m hungry,” James told you as he sat next to Bucky.

You got up to go make his something to eat when you noticed black paint on the floor. You looked over at James and saw that his left hand was black with gold lines.

“James what did you do? And please tell me it comes off,” you asked.

James got up and took off his jacket to reveal that he painted his left arm black and gold to match Bucky’s

“Now I really match daddy, see. Same name and same arm,” he replied showing off the slightly wet arm.

You opened you mouth to yell about how there is paint on your floors and probably on the stairs too and how he ruined his clothes and possible the couch with the paint but just closed your mouth and shook your head.

“Now that you are back this is your problem,” you said walking into the kitchen to feet Bucky Jr.

“Did I do something wrong,” James asked looked between Bucky and Steve.

“No buddy, you just made a mess with the paint,” Bucky said pointing to the black paint on the floor.

“Oops,” He replied.

After eating and cleaning the paint, life started to normal. Steve staying til he found an apartment close by which James couldn’t understand why he was leaving. After Steve told him that he could come over and have guy night he decided that Steve could move out. And with Bucky back James basically pushed you aside and preferred his dad. Everything Bucky did James did. Everything Bucky ate James ate, even vegetables.

“James, I have been trying to get you to eat your vegetables for ever and now that your dad is here you love vegetables,” you asked when you saw him finish his carrots.

“No vegetables are gross but I want to be just like daddy and daddy eats vegetables,” he replied making a face over how gross he thought carrots where.

After he got in trouble for painting his arm James decided to do the next best thing and waste all the foil in the house to wrap is arm. You even caught his pretending to be Bucky while he was playing in the back yard.

“What,” Bucky said wrapping his arms around you are you watched James play.

“Red Skull I am the winter soldier and I am here to put an end to you and the rest of hydra,” James said pointing his toy gun and sarge who was wearing a red hat.

“He idolizes you,” you said resting your head against Buck’s shoulder.

“Jealous,” he asked kissing your neck.

“No just annoyed that he is a mini you.”

“Daddy come play,” James called.

Bucky walked outside and pulled you with him. James explain how Bucky would be on his team.

“We are stopping Sarge, he’s the red skull. And im you so you can be… Uncle Te.”

“What about me,” Steve asked waking into the back yard.

“You can be a bad guy with mommy cause she needs a partner,” James said placing Sarge’s red hat on you.

“Why am I the red skull,” you asked slightly offended.

“Cause you get mad a lot and look like him,” James stated like it was a known fact.

Bucky and Steve started laughing while you took the hat off and changed James around to get back at him.

“Daddy, mommy is crazy help me,” James yelled at the top of his lungs which caused Bucky and Steve to laugh more.

Bucky was too busy laughing so James stopped running and took of his jacket to reveal his foil arm and held it out.

“I am Sargent James Buchanan Barnes of the 107th infantry of the US army and I order you to stop chasing me,” he said and crossed his arms.

You stopped and just took in your son’s appearance. “Mommy you look really pretty,” James said with the same smirk Bucky gives you when he is trying to apologize or get himself out of trouble. Yea James was defiantly Bucky Jr.

[urimaginespimp]

Last Kiss (This Love pt 6)

Bucky x reader (elemental witch)

Set on Endgame.

Note: This one is a rollercoaster of emotions

previous part

--------

Fear was creeping up within you as you stared at Thanos’ army approaching definitely outnumbering you and the rest of the team. Nevertheless, you were ready to fight in honor of Nat. The wound in your heart from losing her is too fresh.

But before you knew it, a golden ring, followed by another one after another started appearing behind you, and you were too struck to move when one by one, everyone who disappeared five years ago started walking out.

And then you see him, weapon in hand, ready to finish the fight.

The fear within you was long gone, and was suddenly replaced with hope.

--------

Everybody was working together in the fight. You were holding your own pretty well, just killing any one of Thanos’ army near you or overwhelmingly attacking anyone else on your side. You paused for a second to catch your breath when a voice spoke behind you.

“Can’t you look ugly for once, doll? I mean we’re in a middle of a fight and you still look like an angel.” You turned and faced a panting Bucky. He was still holding a weapon, dirt and dried blood on him, but he was giving you a small grin.

Your eyes welled in tears as you take him in. Hell, you don’t know what to say...

“I-”

But before you could finish embarrassing yourself before the man you’ve been waiting on for five years, he closed the space between you and captured you in a kiss.

His lips were softer than you’ve imagined them to be, but before you could even comprehend what was going on, he broke away.

“Buck-” you whispered.

“Just wanted to do that in case I turn to dust again.” he whispered with a shit-eating grin, before turning back to fighting.

You chuckled, shaking your head to not get too distracted from that welcomed rude interruption and went back to fighting.

---------

Nat and Tony. Two of the first Midgardians you’ve met, and now you swore to hold in your heart forever.

It was just a little while after the funeral when you decided to sit with Tony’s daughter Morgan, and Happy.

“You’re Y/N.” She gazed up to you with wonder behind her eyes.

“Yeah, I was your dad’s friend.” you smiled, looking down next to you where she sat. You didn’t know Tony talked about any of you to her.

“He said you would be the best one to build forts with and that he didn’t like your boyfriend.” She tilted her head to the side, reminding you of Tony’s mannerisms.

“I uh... don’t have a boyfriend.” you coughed awkwardly.

“That’s ok, I’m not allowed to have one too.” she gave you a toothy grin. Happy and you exchanged looks.

“Is it Jesus with the robot arm? I saw him staring at you.” She asked you with no hesitation, prompting Happy to stand before you two.

“Yeah, that’s enough. Wanna get that cheeseburger now?” He offered his hand to her, which she took happily and said a quick bye to you.

You made a mental note to pay them a visit someday. Standing up from the seat, you walked down and stopped by the lake when Steve approached you, now in his suit.

“I saw the punk finally kissed you.” He smiled at you.

“We haven’t really talked about it yet. A funeral is hardly the best setting for it.” you shrugged.

“I hope that was the end of you being dumbasses around each other.” he nudged your shoulder, chuckling.

“I don’t know, Steve. I quiet enjoy making you want to pull out that golden hair of yours.” You smirked at him.

“Take care of each other, okay?” He faced you now, making you turn his way as well in confusion.

You were about to ask him why he was talking like he was leaving for good when it clicked. He smiled at you when he saw the realization dawn on you.

“Take care of us yourself, coward.” You smirked, but your eyes were also tearing up. Steve was leaving too.

“I just lifted your father’s hammer.” he feigned offense, and took a step closer to you, taking you in his free arm. “I love you, kid. Despite how much you like making my old heart uncomfortable sometimes.” you felt him kiss the top of your head.

“Again, I called you ‘daddy’ once and it was out of a dare.” you weakly punched his chest. “I love you too, old man. No matter how boring your war stories are.”

Breaking away from him, you wiped the stray tear on your cheek. “Go get that dance.” you smiled genuinely at him, which he returned.

“What, no last snarky remark to remember you by?” he teased, making you roll your eyes at him.

“Don’t break a hip doing so.”

“There we go.”

--------

“Are you sure you wanna stay?” Thor asked you for the third time.

“I don’t like space that much.” you smiled at him. He decided that he was gonna join Quill and the rest of the group. “And with the amount of people who just missed 5 years, I wanna help them get back on their feet.”

“And the old man?”

“Father, I’m older than him.” you reminded. He still couldn’t accept it when Mantis pointed out to him that you have sexual love for the man with the lomg hair and metal arm. He was acting like a protective father.

“If he hurts you, you tell me.”

“Do you have a phone now? A computer?”

“No, what for?” He laughed at you.

“You’ll hear from me through Rocket.” you promised. “You guys take care of yourselves, ok?” and he assured you with a nod.

Throwing your arms around him, you promised to take care of New Asgard, and to stay out of trouble. Your father sealed his departure with a kiss on your temple and a promise to visit you when he can.

--------

You were now walking around the property, exchanging greetings and goodbyes to the people who were still there while looking for Bucky, when you finally see him walking around aimlessly. And as if sensing your eyes on him, he looked your way.

You tried to give him a smile, and you were confused when he didn’t return it, just nodded at you and walked the other way.

You decided to follow him. Catching up, you were now only a few steps away from him when you called him.

“Buck are you okay?” you asked him, concern lacing your voice.

Stopping on his tracks, he turned around to face you with a serious expression.

“Steve left.” He stated looking at you with a frown etched on his forehead.

You nodded as a reply. You couldn’t begin to think how he was feeling.

“You know, it seems that everyone else already knows which path to take next except me. All I’ve been doing is jumping from one fight to another.” He started to rant.

“Wakanda-”

“Y/N I was hiding in Wakanda. I need... I want to start finding myself now that I’m recovered. And let's face it. You need it too. We can’t keep living in a sanctuary. And I just think I can’t start fresh when I’m around people who would remind me even the tiniest of my parts as the winter soldier.” you were still trying to wrap your head around what he was saying when he spoke again.

“I’m sorry for kissing you. I wasn’t thinking straight.” he looked anywhere but you, but his face was contoured with certainty.

“Buck what are you saying?” deep down you knew. You just didn’t want to believe it.

“I’m saying I’m letting you go, Y/N.” He said, his eyes finally meeting yours. “Take care of yourself.” he finished, and turned away again, starting to walk away.

“Bucky I...” You wanted to tell him. To just let it finally out, but now something in you, maybe a little anger, stopped you from making any more of a fool of yourself.

But it didn't go unheard by the super soldier as he turned to look at you one last time.

“I know, Y/N. And I’m sorry but I can’t... I can’t love you the way you'd hope me to. You’ll see that I’m right someday, and you’ll thank me for it.” He gave you one last sad attemot of a smile, before finally leaving you, glued to where you were standing, unable to fathom what just happened while simultaneously feeling a part of you just... break.

--------

(set a little into TFATWS finally)

WARNING: Mention of assault. Look out for *(start) and ** (end)

Six months. It’s been six months since you’ve last seen him. And every day it was getting harder to keep yourself from finally admitting to yourself that you’re mad at him.

True to your promise to Thor, you were taking care of the people of Asgard, using some of the wealth him left you with to send some of the younger ones to school, and with the help of Pepper, even buy some shares of some companies. To say the New Asgard was doing well would be an understatement. The people were merely taking up jobs out of interest.

Val as usual, saw through you. She told you it was okay to be mad – that it was a stepping point to start moving on.

“Come on Y/N. The dude kissed you and changed his mind just like that. I would’ve broken his nose if I were you.” She told you one night after catching you looking at a photo of him given to you by Steve. “You can’t tell me you’re not holding even just a tiny grudge.”

“Okay, if it makes you feel any better, I am holding a little resentment.” you shrugged at her, making her reply ‘good enough’.

You just didn’t think it was going to end that way for you both. And now you were wishing you’ve taken those 5 years as an opportunity to rid of any romantic feelings you had for him. Maybe then it wouldn’t have hurt at all when he left.

You tried to ask Sam a number of times if he had any idea how he was doing, but he’d say that Bucky kept ignoring his texts.

For a few weeks every night, you’d been wearing one of the only shirts he owned back in Wakanda. And before you sleep, you think of the image you’ve engraved in your mind – him sleeping peacefully next to you in Wakanda, just after a nightmare.  Then you’ll wake up the next morning hoping he’d have a good day, and that maybe something would remind him of you and make him wish he’d stayed. And It went that way over and over, until one distinct night.

*

There was knocking on your door late at night, waking you up from your sleep. Opening the door, you were met with three of the women you know, holding up a younger one who was crying and shaking in shock.

They explained that she’d been close to getting assaulted after a night of partying and losing sight of her friends. Thankfully the three women found her and were able to pry the man away. But what was worse was that this wasn’t the first time something like that happened.

**

Save the world once or twice, there would still be shitty people. That was what you realized that night.

So maybe he was right. You realized that what the Avengers taught you about Midgard didn’t cover much of the shitty things that happen frequently to innocent people.

And that was when you decided to replace nights off wallowing in self-pity, with going out at night, staying in clubs or hanging out in its bathrooms, just making sure everybody was safe. And soon enough, crime rate at night in your area reduced significantly.

Maybe if you divert your attention to literally anything else besides the man, you’d actually get over him.

All was well until one morning as you were kicking off the heels and taking of your dress from the night before to finally get some sleep, the tv you had on flashed something that caught your attention.

A stranger holding Steve’s Shield was being called the new Captain America.

What the actual fuck?

--------

@eternalharry @iheartsebandchris @lizzarooni @the-ayo-lit @tanyaherondale @knowyourworth-sellyoursoul

[mcufox123]

The Worst of You

Wanda Maximoff x fem reader

Synopsis: You have defeated Thanos but what does that mean for your relationship with Wanda.

A/N: In this story all of the characters survive Endgame because they just do. This is just part one, another part will be coming out soon. Also I wrote this based off the Noah Cyrus and P.J. Harding song “The worst of you.”

Warning: Alcoholism, Self spiraling, grief

I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS!

*****************************************************************************************************

Tony threw another infamous party on Saturday to celebrate one year since you all defeated Thanos and life returning to somewhat normal from the blip. The world was in chaos with half of the population returning that everyone was everywhere helping out wherever they could. It had been about a year now and things were finally getting back to normal. The Avengers had not been together at the compound since Thanos was defeated, so in a way the party was celebratory. You and Wanda however were not in the celebratory mood.

You and Wanda had been dating for almost 3 years now, theoretically. Your relationship had started before the blip, sneaking off to see each other was very romantic. Two years into the relationships the blip happened. She was gone, dusted. It devastated you. You two were conjoined at the hip, so her being gone left you lost. For the first 3 years after the blip, you worked so hard to get everyone back, to get Wanda back. By the end of year 3 however you crashed. You flipped out at Natasha, the one person who had been there for you. You stopped eating, only when you absolutely had to. And you almost never left your room. You had spiraled now realizing that your love might be gone forever.

By year 4 you had hardened yourself from all emotions. The only people who could see you, were Nat and Steve. You went on missions for them but when you returned you gave your report then went right to your room. You got drunk nearly every night. Drinking until you were numb from the pain and eventually passed out. That’s how the rest of the blip went, until Scott Lang showed up at the compound. You did not even indulge any bit of hope. You weren’t going to get excited about something that may not even come true. When everyone started to put in the work however, you helped. You played along with their plan.

After getting all of the infinity stones, when Bruce snapped, you did feel a bit of hope and it continue to grow when Clint’s phone range and it was Laura. That’s when you blacked out for a second when Thanos destroyed the compound. The fight that ensued was hard. Not everyone was back. They few that were fighting were injured. That’s when all of these portals started opening with all of your friends who you hadn’t seen in 5 years. It brought tears to your eyes. Not for long as the fighting continued. You did not even see Wanda during the fight. You only met her when all of Thanos’ army began to disappear. You sprinted as fast as your feet would take you to hug her in a huge embrace. You squeezed her so hard and cried into her shoulder. Your 5 years only seemed to be 5 minutes for her. You kissed her hard. Putting in all the pain and need into that kiss as your mouths moved in sync.

After the fight was over a majority of you moved into Stark Towers until the compound was cleaned up and rebuilt, but most of you were never there, always on missions. You and Wanda, after the first few blissful weeks of being back fell into a pattern. You always got drunk out of habit now and she was asleep by the time you went to bed, and she was always gone before you woke up in the morning running somewhere to save people. You weren’t into helping as much as she was. You felt that you had given 5 long years to helping people, it was time for someone else to step up, and of course Wanda thought that meant her.

Neither of you communicated as much with each other. She saw you spiral, she asked “Y/N, are you ok? I’m here babe I'm back you can talk to me.” She begged with glossy eyes. You however just shrugged her off “I’m fine Wanda, just leave it alone.” And you walked out to where the bar was and grabbed the whiskey, not even bothering to take a glass. Wanda didn’t ask again after that. She was trying so hard herself not to spiral so instead she kept her distance. This is how the past year went. You went to parties together and pretended everything was fine, putting on a great act in front of the team when you saw them. The nights that you pretended never involved going to bed, you would stay up in each other’s embrace, trying so hard to return to normal. After both of you were finished, you always put on clothes and walked out of the room to grab a drink, most the time crying. Wanda stayed in bed watching you leave as silent tears rolled down her face.

Both of you were so broken and couldn’t fix each other. But neither of you could bear the thought of leaving each other. You had already lost her for 5 years and you were not going to lose her again, you loved her so much still and wanted to get back to the place you both were. Wanda on the other hand still loved you. She could see your pain, the hurt you went through. She wanted so bad just to hold you in her arms and take all of the pain and suffering away. But every time you both tried the other person would just shut down.

Tony’s one year anniversary party, although supposed to be fun, was torture. You were already pretty drunk, and the party hadn’t even started a half an hour ago. Wanda was pissed. You were constantly leaning on her trying to keep your self up right and failing miserably. She decided to move you both to the couches where Steve, Nat, and Tony were talking. You’re eyes drooped shut, and you weren’t quite asleep but there was no way you could have a decent conversation.

“You holding up ok kid?” Tony asked Wanda, who had her head in her hands.

“As best I can. I’m worried about her. She gave so much, and I feel like the cost is me losing her.” Wanda said now wiping a tear away from her face. Nat quickly got up to hold Wanda in an embrace.

“What do you need to do? What do you need us to do?” Steve asked. He wanted to have a plan that all of them could work on to help you.

“I can’t hurt her,” Wanda said in a whisper, “But I can’t keep hurting myself either.”

You heard this and wanted to scream, you wanted to run far away. Away from all the pain, and sorrow that you have caused. But you just laid there like a drunk idiot. After that you didn’t hear anymore. The thoughts continued running and eventually you did fully pass out.

“Why don’t you go away for a little? Be at peace with yourself and come to terms with everything. We’ll take care of Y/N.” Steve suggested.

“You can come stay at the cabin near my house. You can help Pepper with Morgan and have the space you need. I could use a little help cleaning the grounds and your help would make it 10 times easier.” Tony continued.

“At least think about it Wanda. We all just want to help, and I’ll keep my eye on Y/N, let you know how she’s doing.” Natasha finally finished. Wanda wanted so bad to take them up on their offer right then and there. But she couldn’t help loving the worst part of you and this relationship you both were in.

She told them she would think about it, before waking you up and taking you to bed. She cleaned off your makeup, changed you into pajamas, and put you in bed. Before climbing in herself she just sat on the edge of the bed. Staring at you and how at peace you looked. Wishing that you could stay like this all the time. She wanted so badly to help you through this time, but she was slowly losing herself. She finally crawled into bed and cuddled closer to you which she hadn’t done since you pushed her away once. This was one night when you both slept completely, no nightmares waking either of you up.

The next morning you woke up with an awful headache. You weren’t going to reach next to you because you didn’t think Wanda would be there, but she was. To you this meant that you had did something right last night, but you can’t remember what. You walked into the kitchen to get coffee for you and Wanda, deciding to continue your good streak with her today. When you enter your surprised to see Steve, Natasha, and Tony all talking. They quiet down when you enter the room.

“Love when people act like they aren’t talking about me.” You say in a snarky tone.

“Maybe we wouldn’t be talking about you if you got your shit together Y/N.” Tony replied just as aggressively.

“That’s rich coming from the man who disappeared into the woods for 5 years while the world fell apart.” You yell back. You were slamming things now, getting angrier and angrier. You saw Steve eye Tony, as Natasha got up and walked towards you.

“Breath Y/N” she soothed as she came closer to you and gave you a hug. You took deep breathes as you calmed down. A tense silent took over the room.

“Y/N, look I'm sorry. I’m just worried about you. Morgan misses you, ya know? She always asks when Elsa is coming back to visit. And well you’re not ok Y/N. I want you to be ok. I want the badass who fought beside me in every battle. Who also was having fun with me and going to fun places being the life of the party. Who always remembered what happened the day after the party and would most the time scold me. I want to help you can I help you?” Tony says while making his way over to you eventually placing his hands on your shoulders making you look at him.

“Shut up Tony. I would still be that person if you didn’t abandon us. I would still be that person if we didn’t fail. If I didn’t spend 5 years wondering if there was something I could’ve done to prevent all of this. If I could’ve saved everyone. If there was something I could’ve done to save her.” You push him away and abandon the cups of coffee you were making. Instead, you walked to the bar only to find it empty. This pissed you off. You kick the cabinets underneath. He was getting to you, bringing up all of the feelings that you try to keep buried. You couldn’t tell them; you couldn’t burden them any longer.

You eventually broke down with your hands on the bar. No one moved this time to comfort you seeing the ice that was forming on your hands. After a few minutes you composed yourself.

“I need to take a walk. I need to get out of here for a bit.” You say while grabbing your keys and walking out the door, not bothering to look back. You headed right for the local bar.

Back at the compound everyone wasn’t as ok with you leaving.

“What do we do?” Tony asked while looking at his friends. Bruce had now joined the breakfast crew.

“I suggest therapy, we don’t know if medication will have an effect on her. I think she also needs to go away, get some sense knocked back into her, maybe Wakanda?” Bruce suggested.

“They are both going to be devastated if we send her away. I think she needs to stay here and get help here.” Natasha challenged. She had both you and Wanda’s interest at heart.

“She can’t stay here with Wanda; they will both continue to destroy each other. One of them needs to get out. One of them needs to be ok.” Steve said sadly.

“I’ll talk to Wanda.” Natasha said getting up and heading towards your room. She knocked and waited for a response. All she heard was sniffling on the other side of the door. She walked in to see Wanda curled up on the bed, not even moving when Natasha sat next to her. She pushed some hair out of Wanda’s eyes.

“You’re not ok sweetie, and that’s ok.” Natasha said. “We just want both of you to get better, we miss our friends. She needs help Wanda. You have done everything you possibly could, but this is out of any of our control. We need to get Y/N help. She’ll come back to you I promise.” Natasha said trying to comfort Wanda. Wanda didn’t say anything though, just cried harder holding onto Natasha like a child who lost their favorite stuffed animal. Natasha sat there and comforted Wanda until she quieted down again.

“Tony called Happy, and he can be here in an hour and a half to get you. Pepper is setting up the cabin as we speak. This could help you both, this could help you get her back.” She finished as she felt the younger girl hold her tighter. Wanda was afraid that if she let go and went with her then that meant she was giving up on you.

Eventually Natasha pulled away and looked at Wanda in the eyes, “It’s going to be ok; she is going to be ok, you are going to be ok. Do the work, put in the time to get better and it will all be worth it.” Wanda nodded before getting up and walking to her closet to get her suitcase.

Natasha walked out of the room and to the kitchen where Tony, Steve, Bruce and now Sam and Bucky were.

“Well, she’s packing.” Natasha informed them.

“Ok so here is the plan.” Steve continued to tell the rest of them the process they would take to help both of their teammates.

Hours had passed and the time finally came for you to drive home from the bar. You couldn’t even walk in a straight line to the car but it was only a short 5-minute drive. You could pull it together enough for 5 minutes. The drive seemed to be harder this time, with things blurring together. All of a sudden you hear sirens behind you. Of course, of course this would happen to you. The police officer gets out of the car and walks up to your window.

“name?” he says not even bothering to look at you.

“Y/N Y/L/N.” you say just staring at the wheel that can’t seem to stay still.

“Are you aware that you were driving 20 over the speed limit?” he asks finally looking at you. It takes him a moment before he realizes who you are. His eyes widen.

“You’re an avenger. I am so sorry. You do not seem like you are in any condition to drive though, can I call someone?” he asks very apologetically. Being an avenger did have some advantages.

“Yeah, you can call Wanda,” and you gave the man her number. After trying 4 times she still didn’t pick up though.

“Anyone else ma’am?” this irked you to no end. One because Wanda wasn’t answering and two, he just called you ma’am. You didn’t show any signs of aggression however because you didn’t want to scare the poor man. Instead, you gave the one number you knew you could call if you ever got in trouble.

“Yeah, Bucky.” You told him. He called, Bucky picked up and assured the officer he would be there right away. Sam dropped Bucky off not even 5 minutes later and thanked the police officer. He also assured him that the avengers would be taking care of my punishment. You rolled your eyes and looked out the window as he started to drive off. Before giving him time to speak you immediately started.

“Where is Wanda?”

“Y/N I can’t answer that.” He continued driving straight faced.

“Why the hell not? Where is my girlfriend? Is she safe?” you said starting to feel the icicles forming on your hands.

“She’s fine Y/N.”

“Bucky these short answers are really starting to piss me off. Also, what do you mean the avengers are going to be taking care of my punishment? I don’t need a punishment I was fine. I am fine.”

“STOP LYING TO YOURSELF Y/N.” he yelled startling you, “god can’t you see you’re not fine. You need help. You were not ok to drive. You are really lucky that policeman pulled you over before you could do any real damage. I’m sick of this person you have become. You’re hurting me, you’re hurting the team, you’re hurting yourself, and something I don’t think you realized is your hurting Wanda. That girl would die for you. She would do anything to be with you and make this pain go away and your just being so selfish to even try. Get over yourself.” He says frustrated.

His words hit you like bullets though. The final one being that your hurting Wanda. You’re not sure what happens but you look down to see your hand on fire. This has never happened before. You knew that you had ice powers, but fire powers were a new thing. Just before you can do anything you feel a sharp pain in your neck and then the lights go out.

Bucky was stunned the whole way home. Where the hell did the fire come from. As he pulled in the driveway, he asked Tony to come out in the Iron Man suit.

“What the heck happened? Our directions were to go get her bring her back, don’t say anything so we could stage our intervention! Only use the needle if it was an emergency!” Tony asked a very shocked Bucky.

“I’m no expert Tony, but I think her shooting flames out of her fingers is a bit of an emergency.” Bucky says as Tony stared at him wide eyed.

Tony carries you cautiously into the compound and sits you on the couch. Bruce puts the antidote needle into your neck, so you wake up. As soon as the light reaches your eyes your furious.

“What the actual hell?” you sneer at Bucky. You feel the flames in your fingers and look down to see the bottom half of your body engulfed in flames. Oddly enough nothing hurts, and you just feel power. The all cower besides Steve who was ready with a fire extinguisher. You just glared at him, however. You got up from the couch and made your way to your bedroom that you shared with Wanda. Her things were all gone. You felt as though the wind got knocked out of you. She couldn’t be gone, not again. You searched the bathroom the walk-in closet everything, there was no trace of her anywhere. It was like the blip but worse.

Your throat felt as if it was closing up. You could have prevented this; you saw this coming and did nothing to fix it. Unlike the blip you were to blame this time. You chased her away. The one person you cared about the most gave up on you. You were nothing to no one. No family, no friends, no Wanda. You broke, not being able to keep any emotions in any longer. You sobbed. You didn’t know who put their hand on your shoulder, but you turned into them sobbing into their chest.

“It’s alright kid, just let it all out.” Tony murmured into your hair. You had always been closest to Tony before the blip. He was like the older brother you always wanted. After he went to the woods it felt like he had given up on you, but here in his arms you knew he hadn’t. He held you for a long time while you sobbed. When no more tears came, and the hiccups started getting annoying he guided you to the kitchen. Everyone sat around the table not saying much with a water in front of each. The only seats that were empty was yours, Tony’s, and Wanda’s. Your heart sank a bit.

“Come have a seat Y/N” Natasha summoned you to the seat next to her.

Bruce was the first to break the silence. “how are you feeling Y/N?”

“Like a complete failure. Like I lost the one good thing in my life. I need help guys. I'm messed up.” You said keeping your eyes focused on the fingers in your lap.

“Hey, I have something for you.” Steve says reaching across the table. Tony interjects “You think now is a good time?”

“She admitted she needs help; she deserves to see this.” Steve walked around the table to hand you the piece of paper. You see your name written in an all too familiar handwriting, Wanda’s. You unfold the paper quickly to read its contents:

My love, Y/N, I love you with all of my heart. I always have and I always will. I am not ok though. I need some time to process all of the events that have happened. I need to be ok again to even start being able to help you. I have had so much grief and you made it all go away at one point. You are the light of my life Y/N, and I'm not strong enough to be yours yet. This isn’t a goodbye; this is a see you later until we both get the help we need. I will be back and I love you so much. Don’t be afraid to let go and open up, you will feel so much better my love. Yours forever, Wanda xx

You felt even more awful now that you know it isn’t over. She’s giving you the time to get better and you will. You will get the help you need; you will do the work.

“How do I get better?” you say with a determined look on your face. They all stare at you shocked but a glimmer of hope passes by all of their eyes.

[evansbby]

I really thought you could do it. I really did. I mean i didn't think you had it in ya in the first place to give us anything happy let alone this. Heck! I didn't think the motherfucker had it in him to be any kind of good let alone THAT good. But then the ending happened and its like i can hear the sound of my heart breaking. Do i feel sorry for Steve? I honestly don't know. This serves him good cause maybe now he can finally feel a fracture of what he put Omega through but then again he's him and he's yours and you've written him in a way that is so unforgiving that it honestly scares me of what is to come. I can only imagine his anger and the way he would react to having HIS own heart broken and his own vulnerability met with such betrayal, to his eyes at least.

Idk man. You broke me. And i'm not even complaining. The way you wrote this chapter was breathtaking. Ever single emotion from either one of them was raw and that's how i'd describe this chapter, raw. 

I loved reading the first chapters but i always did it with a heavy heart cause although ur writing is something you can't take your eyes off of, your Steve is so fucking mean it hurts. But to see the goodness in him after all that awfulness? To see that he actually did have it in him? To see that even Omega had it in her to not want to take it anymore even if she took the route of numbness as her way out? 

That. Was. Just. Divine. 

The hardwork. The time. The effort. The love. The thoughtfulness. And everything else you put into this chapter fucking shows and boy does it show loud and fucking clear.

Girl.... you snapped and fucking thanos snapped our hearts along the way!

Thank you for an amazing ride with poyt in general and with poyt 4 in particular.

But if the next chapter breaks me even harder, i'm coming for your talented ass i hope u known that. 

Love ya 🥰🥰

This made me so emotional! I love you sm, I don’t deserve this praise!! Like seriously, wow! I was smiling so hard when I read all this. It amazes me that you liked it so much but I’m seriously also so glad!!! Thank you!!✨😌

And yes, I’m confused about feeling sorry for Steve or not too! I wanted to characterise him so that people don’t know WHAT to think when it comes to him… like I want people to be confused on wanting to root for him or not😈 same with Peter hehehehe. Like I love doing that.

Thank you so much bestie I appreciate this review SO MUCH like you have no idea!! Thank you sm for reading my story💕💕💕💕💕