#but I think I've got something that mostly works

[patricia-taxxon]

I want to set the record straight regarding a certain OST for a short film that should be coming out later this year, because one of its directors is making false and hurtful claims about me and my business ethic. After he made a prominent appearance on a drama stream about me & wrote a section of my callout doc, I told him that I wasn't interested in dragging him publicly, but that has felt more impossible as time goes on and I realize the extent of his misrepresentation. I had a vision of this film being able to release quietly in spite of everything, but I don't think that can happen, and I fully expect him to try and hurt my chances at further work.

In 2023, between techdogs 4 and 5, I worked on music for a then good friend's student film. It is by far the most technically difficult job I've ever had, and I did it for free. Now, before you get mad, this is partially (mostly) my fault. I never negotiated a price beforehand, and when I found out partway through that I was working for free, I let it slide for fear of being disruptive. If I was asked to quote a price today, it would have been approximately 900 USD. The work was a hellish and grueling experience, technical in ways I'd never been prepared for, and I sorely regret not putting my foot down, because I was hollowed out by the end of it.

A big portion of his callout against me is concerned with, bafflingly, my decision not to contribute my own money to the film, which at that point would have been a negative paycheck. I didn't pay the thirty dollars that I would've had to pitch in for the film to be screened, and I considered that a fine payment for the nine hundred dollars of work they got from me. He goes on to write that I'm rich anyways, I pay hundreds of dollars on album art (business expenses that I know I'll make back when the music is released) and "furry porn," because apparently if I am occasionally willing to drop a pretty penny on a pleasure purchase then I should simply be compelled to pay them randomly for things I hold no stake in and that I signed no contract for. He also mentions that I paid them later for the DCP file at another screening, of course by that point I had gotten the vibe that they were wanting for me to drop money on their project, so I did, giving the post-hoc justification that "i guess in this case I also care about the film sounding good." He writes "well I guess that was something she deemed worthy" without realizing the implication would then be that he did not see my own work as worthy.

Let me make this clear, this is like if a voice actor worked on my video game for free as a favor with no expectations of royalties, and then I asked them to help me pay to get the game on steam. This is presented along reheated second, third, fourthhand accounts of sexual misconduct.

And before we move on, to the claim that one album artist had to wait for years before receiving payment, this is true. I did forget to pay one artist, and only found out after their assistant contacted me years later, where I then paid six times the asking price as a late fee. I was commissioning over ten album arts every year, and as of now, this is the only time I have made this mistake.

It is impossible for me to refute his claims about the personal time we spent together in Omaha, as it would just be my word against his. I will just say that he should know the omitted reasons that I have grown to feel I was disposed, discarded, and taken for granted by him, and how he has nothing to do with why I hold those memories at that film festival so highly. He also does the classic thing where he positions allowing me to pick the movie in the evening as this favor he did, making me unknowingly rack up debt for a bargain I never consented to.

During all this, he has expressed an existential fear of being harassed for going public about me, and for this reason I want to say that I still hope that this film can be released without a fuss, but his continued participation in a harassment campaign against me has done far more to tarnish his reputation than I ever could. If you really cared about your image, pressure Crim to re-record that drama stream without your embarrassing petty grievances in it & delete your testimony from the callout doc. Thanks.

[sharky-teeth]

anyone looking for more wincest fic recs?? nobody?? okay here you go anyway. i have a bunch of fics i couldn't fit into the other list, so i needed to make a brand new one with more variety this time around. i organized it by wordcount to make things easier, however i rarely read long fics, so these are mostly pretty short. once again this list got way out of hand...

(for mature or explicit rating, you can assume it's [sometimes implied] bottom sam, or it isn't discussed. for bottom dean or versatile samdean, i made a small separate section of my favorites.)

1k~5k

Remember the Mountain Bed by nigeltde (G, 1k): post canon. sam and dean jr. one of the only fics that have ever made me cry and with only a thousand words! this one is so very dear to my heart, heartbreaking in its details, yet warm and soothing at the same time. just gorgeous.

Are You by lovetincture (G, 1k): one of my favorite gen fics. i adore second person POV and this is a great example of how it can maximize impact.

I Was the Dirty Little Boy (E, 1k): a quick weecest sparring session turning into spanking... you know. the good stuff.

Stealth Run by LaughableLament (E, 1k): late seasons + established relationship + possessive dean + slutty sam. i love this author a lot.

State of Mind by lovetincture (M, 2k): the summary goes "It's legal in the state of Ohio." yes it is as good as suggested. the tension in this fic mwahh

The Euphoria Emporium by Laughable_Lament (E, 2k): sam and dean visit a sex shop and dean gets jealous. quick and nasty.

Be Mine by De_Nugis (T, 2k): first part of a short series. for people who love silly, goofy samdean. this is no plot, pure crack. the kind that actually makes you laugh out loud.

Dating for Dummies by sevenfists (M, 3k): there's not enough first time aftermath fics. this has ruined me because it is the exact level of lighthearted i love, where the brothers continue being brothers first and foremost, even after boning.

We Are Drinking Beer at Noon on Tuesday by whirlpoolsleep (M, 3k): neat outsider POV. always love seeing the brothers through normal people's eyes.

With Mercy for the Greedy by whiskyandoldspice (E, 3k): unmatched weecest pwp. the amount of hits/kudos doesn't always mean quality but for this one it absolutely does. this is pretty much flawless in my eyes.

August 5th, 2001 by coricomile (M, 4k): established weecest! this was cute and tender with the right amount of angst surrounding sam's imminent departure. bittersweet ending.

Run It All Over by runawaydr3amer (E, 4k): first part of a series. the classic "brotherly handjobs" scenario, but it immediately stood out to me. really on point voices and hot amosphere.

Dean's palm would be rougher by FrancesHouseman (M, 4k): hand kink! i think we can all relate to sam here. this has a scene that's hotter than many pwps i've read lol

Know when to walk away and know when to run by deirdre_c (E, 4k): brothers playing strip poker goes too far... set in s3. great sexual tension and a super satisfying first time.

At Least It's Only One Song by ADeedWithoutaName (E, 4k): dean-gifting-sam-a-lap-dance fic. another outsider POV with an instantly likable OC. she can tell there's something off about those guys...

sticks and stones and weed and bones by aeroport_art (M, 5k): sam seeing a therapist at stanford. really great character study and winchester family dynamics. the conclusion to this story is just... crazy. so well done.

Shadows on the Sun by Linden (M, 5k): soft weecest first kiss! the thing i liked most in this story is how protective they both are. nice brotherly feelings.

wretched creation (M, 5k): one of my favorite reads of last year! criminally underrated work with less than a thousand hits. angsty feels and an unsettling atmosphere. dean facing a demon who knows more about his feelings toward his little brother than he'd like.

Forty-One by themegalosaurus (E, 5k): angsty unnegotiated kinky sex with lots of hell trauma. the kind of porn that's so nuanced and well written it doesn't get me horny (that's a compliment!)

Monumentally Stupid by strive2bhappy (5k): dean helps sam shave and it was hotter than i could ever imagine. great banter, tension, and emotional weight.

Double Solitaire by objectlesson (M, 5k): post mystery spot. amazing character study through a very creative concept. this is one of the authors who really knew how to write dysfunctional wincest.

6k~10k

this bullet inside me by missroserose (E, 6k): who's up for angsty first time in a long time? if you enjoy hathfrozen (i'm sure you do), this will definitely hit a similar spot.

Belonging by strive2bhappy (6k): wifey sam. i repeat Wifey Sam!!!

Lucky Streak by merle_p (M, 6k): thirsty pining done so right. incest that gives you butterflies in the stomach, believe it or not.

You Can't Lose What You Never Had by nigeltde (E, 6k): nigeltde is an incredible writer. from beginning to end this fic is insane. angsty, desperate, emotional, shameful, this takes you on a rollercoaster of emotions. top notch characterization.

How it Works by Dyed_Red (M, 6k): this is probably in my top ten fics of all time, peak codependent, obsessive, dysfunctional samdean. this particular fic really nails their dynamic and the most delicious, fucked up aspects of it.

Taking to Give by Dyed_Red (M, 7k): lovely character study. this one is a bit softer than most Dyed_Red works, it offers an emotional view of sam and dean growing up. heartwarming and heartbreaking at the same time.

Wire Inside Me by merle_p (E, 7k): the sam-is-carrying-lucifer's-baby fic. this story is great for how it deals with the pregnancy pushing dean over the edge. the first time tension here is excellent!

Dean is badass. Sam has always known it. by FrancesHouseman (E, 7k): very interesting dynamic with sam and dean playing mind games to see who gives in first. i like this cocky sam a lot.

Hush Little Baby by hellhoundsprey (E, 7k): CNC weecest. sam and dean go to a haunted house and get up to some nasty freaky shit. it's even better than you can imagine. fyi there's dean in a clown costume.

they said it was the fall of man by jukeboxhound (M, 7k): set in s6, the aftermath of sam getting his soul back through dean's POV. pure angst and overwhelming emotions, beautifully written, it hurt so good.

Man of Steel by glovered (T, 8k): THE lighthearted incest fic for me. along the lines of paxlux's 'Artery', at least to me. this borders on crack, a hilarious, feel-good story that always makes me smile when i think about it.

Disney Princess Hair by Dyed_Red (T, 8k): gencest/weirdcest in its best shape. sam as sleeping beauty! and obviously dean being very very very weird about handling the curse. i loved how this touched on the obsessive aspects of their relationship while keeping the tone light.

Architecture of Choice by Dyed_Red (E, 9k): yes another Dyed_Red work bc they're my favorite author. this one has one of my fave tropes (fuck or die) and it deals with sam's lack of bodily autonomy in a visceral way.

Pull over by jjtaylor (E, 9k): for my piss play enjoyers! this has lots of great tension and it goes way beyond kinky sex.

This Is All Very Meta by road_rhythm (E, 10k): loss of virginity roleplay fic. except it's sooo much more than that. i thought this would be fun and lighthearted, couldn't have been more wrong. the emotional depth delivered here caught me by surprise, but it shouldn't have, given the author. flawless characterization as usual.

God will forgive me but by sammyatstanford (E, 10k): weecest with lots of pining!sam and angsty yearning. brothers who need each other in sick, twisted ways. there was also a great amount of actual brotherly feelings, which is always a plus in my book.

>10k

Acid by Goshen (E, 12k): to this day one of the most insane things ever written. this fic is a classic, it's a surreal experience, a fever dream. dissecting the brotherfuckers, no stone left unturned.

Baby Blue by Edwardina (E, 13k): sam gets hit with a curse that makes him need to suck on a pacifier 24/7. it turned out to be way less sexual than i expected, this is for caretaker!dean lovers.

Learn to say the same thing by glovered (T, 14k): great case fic. sam and dean go to a single's retreat in the mountains for a case and eventually have to confront their incestuous feelings. every glovered fic just fills me with joy.

Supersize Me, Sammy by awabubbles (E, 16k): sadly one of the only size queen sam fics ever written, but it is absolutely perfect so i made my peace with that.

Only Natural (Be My Hands) (E, 17k): sam manages to break both his wrists so dean steps up to take care of his needs. and i mean all of his needs.

Relapse by ani_coolgirl (M, 21k): lebanon AU. i adore this fic, i'm in love with it, i think about it all the time and will think about it forever probably. everything here was done incredibly well, one of those fics that feel specifically made for me lol

Edges by glovered (M, 23k): amazing banter and lots of UST. set in stanford era but it's not really angsty. the tone was just perfect for me, this fic had me GIDDY.

Driving Down the Darkness by Nutkin (M, 39k): one of my faves in terms of Brotherly Feels. extremely well written and thoughtful, super slow burn. outstanding early seasons getting together fic that everyone should read.

Like a Ghost with Two Voices by Dyed_Red (E, 46k): my favorite demon!dean fic. some of the wildest scenes i've ever read. pretty disturbing and incredibly delicious. if you're into fucked up consent stuff, this is a must read. it has a happy ending!

bottom dean and versatile samdean recs:

Take Backs by saltandbyrne (E, 2k): swesson + switching. hands down one of the best PWPs i've ever read, which was to be expected from saltandbyrne. it really doesn't get filthier than this.

How to Wear Polka Dots by homo_pink (M, 6k): swesson. this one is so so weird. and so charming. interesting and refreshing writing style, i had so much fun reading this.

Here's Your Future by autoschediastic (E, 7k): weecest with teasing!dean for a change. loved the power dynamics here, and the intensity throughout the whole fic. desperate, guilty first time, badwrong at its finest.

Enduring Love by oschun (E, 7k): really enjoyed the relationship study here, insightful and well written.

there will be better days by deadlybride (E, 9k): my favorite heaven fic! so warm and peaceful and emotional, full of love and longing and happy reunited soulmates. just thinking about this story makes my heart ache in the best way. really really beautiful.

Yeah, I'm a Back Door Man (E, 22k): established relationship. dean's hell trauma. this was a rollercoaster, great character study, good mix of angst and schmoop as well. probably the best bottom dean i've read so far (along with a couple Goshen works)

Yesterday, minnesota by Goshen: (E, 29k): speaking of applecrumbledore... this fic truly rewired my brain. the queen of "fucking for years without talking about it until one of them snaps". brilliantly executed, one of my favorite deans ever.

yay it's finally over! still i wish i had more long fics to rec lmao do check tags carefully before reading! enjoy the wincest goodness!

[burntheedges]

get to know your moots

thank you for tagging me @ace-turned-confused @kedsandtubesocks @sawymredfox @iknowisoundcrazy @jeewrites @katareyoudrilling @ghotifishreads 🧡 I freaking love these lol I know it's been a minute but hi, here I am.

what's the origin of your blog title?: username and title are both from a Hozier song, Eat Your Young (because "I'm starving, darling" is how I feel about Joel Miller)

OTP(s) + shipname: alright I've been reading fic since I was 12, here are some of the highlights in vaguely chronological order - Dramione (but like, in the 2000s, lmao), Drarry, Sterek, Johnlock, Arthur/Eames, Stucky, Stony, Sirmione, Wolfstar, Damen/Laurent, 00Q, Spirk, PPCU/reader, Rookanis, DinLuke

favorite color: orange

favorite game: Dragon Age Veilguard, Dragon Age Inquisition, the Mass Effect trilogy, Stardew Valley, BOTW, TOTK

song stuck in your head: Not Like Us, Kendrick Lamar

weirdest habit/trait?: hmmm my husband would say it's no outside clothes allowed on the bed, but I don't think that's weird. probably biting my cuticles. 😬

hobbies: knitting, sewing, writing, gaming

if you work, what's your profession?: let's not talk about work lmao

if you could have any job you wish what would it be?: I don't wish for work lol but maybe owning a book store or yarn shop.

something you're good at: languages, parallel parking, overextending myself

something you're bad at: not overextending myself. feeling my feelings.

something you love: talking to people who love the same things I love 🧡, going to concerts

something you could talk about for hours off the cuff: knitting, linguistics, languages, video games, hockey

something you hate: everything going on right now in the US

something you collect: hmm I used to collect a lot of things and then I moved across the country multiple times and got tired of having stuff. books, probably lol

something you forget: anything that's not in my calendar

what's your love language?: fyi the love languages book is fundamentalist nonsense BUT I do feel very loved when my husband does what they call acts of service (which he knows). that's what I tend to do by default, too, but he likes when I use my words.

favorite movie/show: LOTR, Ever After, Deep Space 9, The Matrix, Clueless, Inception, TLOU, The Mandalorian, Skyfall, Pacific Rim, CA:TWS, Andor, so many others lol

favorite food: pasta, a perfect caeser salad, sopes, sushi

favorite animal: cats. also hippos, those big dorks

are you musical?: I was kicked out of band lol but I was in a singing group in high school and another later. I can read music ok

what were you like as a child?: looking back, obviously unmedicated for ADHD, lmao. but extroverted and hyperaware, really

favorite subject at school?: languages, and then history

least favorite subject?: science, but mostly because some of my teachers sucked and I was socialized to think I was supposed to be bad at it

what's your best character trait?: probably my empathy?

what's your worst character trait?: not taking the time to think (I'm working on it)

if you could change any detail of your day right now what would it be?: I want my cold to be gone lol

if you could travel in time who would you like to meet?: ETA just realized I never answered this one. I spent a lot of time thinking about it and I'm still not sure!

recommend one of your favorite fanfics (spread the love!):

I have yet again begun to reread Be-All and Endor by @djarins-cyare because it brings me comfort (which I've needed lately) 🧡

A new favorite is The Morning Commute by @iknowisoundcrazy -- speed!AU Javi! god I love it

I think a lot of people have already done this, but in case you haven't, np tagging: @maggiemayhemnj @secretelephanttattoo @schnarfer @the-mandawhor1an @sixhours

@@davnittbraes @wannab-urs @justagalwhowrites @beardedjoel @futuraa-free

[glitchy-npc]

Jumpscare

Series: Fallen Hero Pairing:@dogueteeth-fhr Cerrisa "Beck" Becerra(they/them)/Tegan Wells (he/him) Tegan's POV. Warnings: none Word count: 1339

Los Diablos is almost pretty at night. It’s mostly the lights, the glow softening all the dirty, ugly aspects of the city that can’t hide in broad daylight. Not that the nights are innocent, far from it, but the distracting lights and the deeper shadows they create make it easier for the kind of work I do.  It’s messy, violent work but it's the only skill set I have, villainy isn’t that different from vigilantism at all. Or worse, what I did before. At least now I get to pick my targets.

I shift my weight to the other foot and flex my hands, the armored plates of my gauntlets gliding smoothly with the motion. The armor has practically become a second skin. How did I ever survive all those years ago, running around in a fucking skinsuit and jacket? 

Oh right, I didn’t.

Sidestep had to die so Retribution could be born, or some poetic shit like that. My mind always wanders when I’m stuck waiting.   

I’m waiting for Beck, or rather Heartbreak since we’re on a job. It's not that they’re late, I’m just early. I can chalk it up to post mission nerves, but really I just want to see them. 

I shift back to the other foot and cross my arms, trying to go over mission details but it’s hard to focus. I don’t even know what their armor looks like, this is the first time we’ve met for work. Every other time it had been hangouts that turned into drinks that turned into…ok I’m really distracted. Focus, idiot. 

I don’t have to wait much longer before I feel the growingly familiar brush of Beck's mind as they approach. 

“Good timing, I almost left without you.” I say without turning around. Their chuckle, muffled by their helmet, confirms what my telepathy already told me. It’s handy like that, always knowing who is behind you.

There are some blind spots though.

I turn to face them, we need to go over the plan one more time.

“So, we need to - JESUS FUCKING CHRIST.” The swear is torn from my throat almost before I have time to think it but my heart is racing somewhere around my eardrums.

Heartbreak spins around reflexively, their mind lighting up as they search for the potential threat. “What, what is it!?” 

“No, no, it's nothing, I just…” I try to return my heartbeat to normal and to think of anything that isn’t the truth.

Heartbreak’s armor is terrifying. 

They turn back towards me and staring at that helmet isn’t any better than the first time. They place a hand on their hip and tilt their head to the side, the gesture a twisted combination of sass and nightmare fuel.

“Something wrong?” Their question is light but the vocal distorters are not doing me any favors. 

“No just…nice design choice.” It's anything but nice but what do I know? 

“Don’t tell me you got scared?” Their tone is teasing.

“No.” I lie. “But you could have warned me.” I should be getting used to it by now but it's still so disconnected with how I usually see Beck – warm brown skin and scar tissue and the smiles they try to hide from me while I pretend I’m not looking. It still feels like Beck, mentally, but how can I be sure? Maybe it's someone else, someone with super telepathy, making me feel like it's them when they’re not.

“I don’t have super telepathy.” They laugh, derailing my train of thought. Right, they still have the normal kind and I’m an idiot. “You know it's me Tegan.

“Do I?” I ask, closing the gap between us. “Maybe you should take off the helmet and show me?” And maybe I can regain a sliver of my dignity if I pretend to be smooth.

“Hm. You first.” Of course their response is a challenge but it's an easy one.

It takes only a second to find the connection panel of my armor's face plate and remove it. I've spent so much time tinkering with this armor I know every bit by heart and muscle memory. I blink a few times to adjust my vision.

“Ok, now do me.”

I can’t help the cough I try to pass off as a laugh, there’s no way they didn’t phrase it like that on purpose. Little shit. 

“You want me to take your helmet off?” 

“I mean, unless you don’t think you can figure it out…” Their voice trails off, another challenge and a harder one this time but there's no way I could back down from something like that.

“Oh I can figure it out, just give me a minute.” 

It's getting easier to look at the helmet this close, though the design is meant to intimidate and inspire fear it's still just plasteel, paint and carbon fiber. Those I can deal with. I try to keep my face straight as I glide my armored fingers over the jaw portion of the skull, despite the teeth it seems to be one solid piece, no seams that I can see but then again Dr. Mortums work is flawless. 

Heatbreak stands stock still as my fingers work their way over the hands and I swear they’re the worst fucking part, I don’t want to know why Beck chose them as part of the design. I could guess, but I don’t like that line of thought either. I tuck the faceplate of my own armor under my arm and with both my hands on either side of their helmet it feels intimate in a way that's hard to process, I just hope it doesn’t show on my face. Though I can’t see their eyes I know they must be looking at me. There's a vulnerability to it, my face bare, while theirs remains concealed. But its a small price to pay, not like the blow to my pride that will be if I can’t figure this fucking – oh. There's a small panel, tucked behind the hands and concealed by the hood. I press it, rewarded by the familiar hiss of depressurised oxygen. The top and jaw portion come away in my hands.

Beck's handsome face smirks back at me, cheeks flushed and green eyes glinting even in the semi darkness. 

“Told you I could figure it out, now what do I wi-”

Beck kisses me before I can finish. It's not the first time, not by a long shot but it’s still exciting. If I had my faceplate on the interface would show my elevated heart rate for the second time tonight. How many years did I spend thinking I could never have something like this? That anyone would want to kiss me, or enjoy it? And from Beck's little hum against my lips, I can tell they enjoy it. 

If my hands weren’t holding pieces of armor they’d be around them in a second but it's their weight that reminds me we're here for a reason.

“We…” I start, breaking the kiss and hating myself for it. “We do have a job to do.”

“True.” They sigh as I hand their helmet back to them. “Doesn't mean we can’t think about what to do when the job’s done.” They reaffix their helmet and suddenly it's not half as terrifying as I thought it was. 

“I have a few ideas.” The distorters drop my voice a few octaves as I reaffix the faceplate to my own helmet.

“Then let's get this done and you can tell me all about it.” They saunter past me and I’m forced to turn and follow them.  

“Count on it.” I never could let anyone else get the last word in. A bad habit, I know. As bad as daydreaming about “after” when I should focus on the mission. And I will, once the adrenaline kicks in I can focus on the fight and nothing else. But until then I just keep coming up with ideas that make me grateful my helmet hides my blush.

[spacealligator]

thank youuuu @cool-thymus ���️

last song: This Corrosion by Sisters of Mercy

last book: I mostly read fanfic (shocked pikachu) but I guess my last book was Dune by Frank Hebert

last movie: Surf Nazis Must Die (I know it sounds ridiculous, and it really is, but I've been on a phase where I watch really bad low budget movies and any movies made by Troma are amazing for this)

last tv show: Ore Monogatari (My Love Story) (so cute!)

last thing i googled: the car workshop address (I think that's what those places are called in english) I had to take my car to fix it after I got stuck in a flood that happened where I live

favourite colour: bluuuuuuueeeeeee, all shades

sweet/savoury/spicy: SUGAR SUGAR SUGAR SUGAR SUGAR SUGAR SUGAR SUG-

relationship status: dating ❤️

looking forward to: any spare time I have for myself, since I've been doing a lot of errands and working a lot because both my place and my car got flooded in the last rain, so I would just love to have more than 5 minutes a day to write and watch movies or read something

current obsession: I'm in my klance era ngl they are so stupid I love it

tagging: @anubisthe1, @ikemenomegas, @narutobrainrotstuff, @hazardous-who, @protectbatson, @olivegardenhunter, @hyuga-eyes, @softpunkcats, @halfamask your turn!

10 people i’d like to get to know better

thanks for the tag @acian0 🌻🤗

last song: Starvation by Aurora

last book: i've become a fanfiction addict, so i hardly ever read anything that doesn't give me instant joy. But I'm currently trying to read Murder in the Crooked House by Soji Shimada

last movie: Arrietty by studio Ghibli

last tv show: Shrinking Season 2

last thing i googled: Sōji Shimada's name for this post xD but before that it was just the address of a new bakery in town 😋

favourite colour: yellow ��💛💛

sweet/savoury/spicy: today was my "sweets are allowed" day, so, SWEET!

relationship status: single

looking forward to: obito-week, kakaobivalentine, and kkobweek 2025 🥳💛 + springtime, planned and improvised trips 😊

current obsession: Obito and Kakashi ❤️‍🔥

tagging 💌 @back-to-rose @ichaichahatake @hairybeardtongue @waruemi @kawkawsrii @spacealligator @protectbatson

[herofics]

Hello!! I found your blog and gotta say I LOVE your works!!! :D I've got a request if that's alright?

I was thinking of a Gojo x Stoic! Fem! Reader, but the reader has the same power as All Might?

She's called over to help with a serious mission, and seeing her power in action manages to impress and catch the attention of Gojo.

A/N: Sorry this took so damn long, I got this ask at the end of June and I'm just now getting around to writing it. Thank you for liking my writing, it means a lot to me :D Also Idk what the hell this ended up being, but I hope it's okay…

You don't particularly care about the whole "exorcizing curses" gig, you just do it because you happen to be very good at it and were born a sorcerer

You'd heard of Gojo before you met him, he's pretty freaking famous in the world of jujutsu, so it would be much weirder if you hadn't heard of him

You're not really impressed by him though, because he seems kind of childish and immature, even if he is the strongest

You were assigned a mission and you were supposed to do it alone

But for some reason, Gojo decided to tag along, because apparently he was bored

He promised not to interfere with your mission, unless you really looked like you needed it

You kind of rolled your eyes at him, because you were sure you would manage just fine and you pretty much always did missions alone

Gojo took your indifference to mean that you didn't like him, which made him even more annoying, because he became very talkative while trying to figure you out

You handled your mission and Gojo was just hanging around the whole time

He was kind just observing you, and when you punched the first curse and it just disintegrated instantly it made him raise an eyebrow

Cause normally the curses wouldn't just instantly disappear, but apparently your punches were so strong and infused with so much cursed energy it just evaporated them

Gojo is of course able to do this too, but he's never seen anyone aside from himself do it without a blackflash

He's intrigued, but he's also mostly figured out how your cursed technique works

Your physical strength remind him of Toji, which is not a very pleasant memory, but it just shows how strong you are

Gojo congratulates you after a mission well done, and offers to take you to eat something

You accept, not really thinking anything off it, just a meal between colleagues, but he basically uses the meal to talk your ear off and ask you a lot of questions

Gojo found himself very interested in you and while you do seem a bit distant, you're not really that cold

[eulaliasims]

Round 3, Shep 1 / 3

Believe it or not, I've actually played the whole autumn round in Veridia since I last posted. Unfortunately, some of that was two months ago, so caption quality may be questionable on some posts. Anyway, here we go, I'm not summarizing anything this time. You probably maybe remember who these guys are. Or not, I had to go check my tags a few times to make sure I was spelling names correctly.

Shep is having a pretty calm autumn. She checks on the bees (she's glad now her mothers insisted she bring that queen bee cell all this way to start a new hive, because the honey has been a nice little boon), chats up random passersby, and works a little bit on her weaving in the evening before it gets too dark for fine work.

When she's not weaving, she likes to spend time at the mead hall.

Xiang: Shep, you have bees, correct?

Shep: I do, in fact, have bees! I just finished a batch of honey, were you interested in buying?

Xiang: Actually, I was wondering if you would be willing to give Drustan a lesson or two about the bees. See, he's developed something of a phobia after an incident—

Shep: And you think learning about them will help?

Xiang: That's my theory. We can work out payment for you, of course, if you're interested in doing it.

Shep: Be paid to talk about bees? Sure! I could do that in my sleep.

(Reminder that Drustan actually got chased by bees three times in one round. On the other hand, I started playing Legend of Zelda: BotW for the first time and immediately got chased by bees, so maybe I am the problem.)

Elmet and Eisu are here too. Who's watching the kids, you ask? Eh, Mouse has got everything under control, I'm sure.

Helenet and Elmet's impending marriage has become the hot topic in town this week.

Helenet: What about you? Do you have your eye on anyone in particular, Shep? Oh, or if that's something you're not interested in, just ignore me, I'm a little tipsy I suppose.

Shep: I do, actually, but it's nothing serious yet.

Helenet: Well, just kissing is fun too! *giggle*

BIG NEWS! Selling off most of her honey meant Shep could finally afford that pottery wheel! She may only have 82 simoleons to her name now, but she can make plates!

That morning, Xiang brings Drustan by for his beekeeping lesson.

Shep: Rule number one about bees, bees mostly only get aggressive when they feel threatened, especially if their home is threatened. It's how they keep their hive safe from intruders trying to eat their honey and babies. Lots of beekeepers will use a smokey torch to make the bees sleepy when they collect honeycomb.

Drustan: Don't the bees get mad afterward that they don't have any honey?

Shep: You have to leave enough in the hive for them, otherwise you won't have bees anymore. It's what the baby bees eat. Anyway, my mother believes bees recognize their keepers and have people they prefer. I don't know, they do seem calmer after they've become acquainted with you.

Drustan: Hmm... does the silly hat make them bees like you more?

Shep: My hat isn't silly. I just burn easily. Do you want to look at the bees with me now?

Drustan: Maybe. From a safe distance.

[deconstructthesoup]

Okay, at this point, I genuinely don't care if I've made a post like this before, because I have new ideas and working on Put Your Records On again has gotten me in the fucking mood.

*ahem*

What Kind of D&D Players the Dead Boy Detectives Characters Would Be (this is totally subjective)*

Edwin: Pro bono rules lawyer, full-stop. He's the type of player who has memorized what every single spell can do, knows the best combos to make an incredibly effective build, and is one of those maniacs who's read the 2014 DMG cover-to-cover more than once. He's also got surprisingly good backstories and motivations for his characters, though it takes him a couple sessions to really get into the roleplay of the thing. (Also, you cannot convince him to play a martial class. It's spells or nothing.)

Charles: Gets insanely invested in his characters. He comes up with their name, personality, species, voice, and backstory wayyyyyyy before anything mechanics-related comes into play, and every single decision about mechanics is a "would my character pick this" question, not a "is this going to make my build broken" question. His decisions are always deeply in-character, in the way that makes the DM incredibly happy for story reasons, and he's absolutely the type to make character playlists and moodboards. It's a fifty-day mourning period on the very rare occasions his character dies.

Crystal: Also gets invested in her characters, but she goes for vibes first. You won't catch her playing a human fighter (no shade to human fighters)---if a species isn't from Monsters of the Multiverse or in the "uncommon" section of the core species part of the Player's Handbook, it's not for her, and she'll always pick a class with lots of big, flashy moves and magic to throw around. Most of the time, she even winds up multiclassing, though it's never for optimization and always for flavor... buuuuut Crystal still manages to do pretty cool things with those multiclasses. She also goes hard with making character cosplays. Her social media's now full of pictures of her dressed up as her characters.

Niko: The DM's ultimate hype-person. She's always asking questions about the world, gets super into the plot, and tries her hardest to get as immersed as possible into the story that's unfolding. Basically, she's my dream player who's always making suggestions that perfectly add to the lore---like, for instance, "what if Fantasy Adventure College required you to defend your thesis by actually fighting your professors?" (This is something that one of my IRL players asked last session, and I swear to god, I reached new levels of platonic adoration as soon as those words left his mouth.) I think Niko would make characters who are mostly support, not really wanting to take up the spotlight... but when her characters do get a moment to shine, oh boy do they shine.

Jenny: Starts out as a hack-and-slasher who's only playing to make everyone else happy, and then winds up having genuine fun with it. I'm pretty sure that Jenny would never be anything more than a casual player, probably the person who just shows up every now and then to play a plot-relevant character that the DM had lined up, but she likes rolling dice every now and then.

Monty: Dice. Goblin. Yes, he plays incredibly well-crafted and heartfelt characters who deliver Shakespearean monologues and have backstories that make you cry, but the most important thing is that Monty initially got into D&D for one thing and one thing only---to collect shiny dice. Glitter, inclusions, metal---you name it, he has it, and his collection is something to behold. (He's a crow, of course he loves dice.)

The Cat King: The chaos player. His characters are pretty decent, he commits to the arcs, and he's not terribly disruptive, but make no mistake---he will try to resolve a sticky situation by suggesting doing something absolutely insane, he will roll a nat 20, and the DM will have to pick up the pieces. It's pure "I-disguse-myself-as-him," "I-don't-think-you-heard-me-I-said-blimey," "I'm-gonna-conjure-up-an-image-of-a-sexy-rat" energy, and it's an absolute delight and nightmare all at once. (All of his characters are charisma casters. Go figure.)

*The Night Nurse and Esther have zero interest in D&D, Night Nurse because she has no time for childish activities and Esther because she doesn't see the point in playing make-believe slaughter your enemies when you can do that in real life

[starvingnarcissistmusic]

I've had this drafted forever and I'm not entirely sure why I didn't post it. Oh well, better late than never!

MAL DU PAYS (the song) fun facts:

(Like the original post, spoilers for Act 5 ((and also 2hats)))

- Originally, after finishing the game, I wanted to write a song about Loop. They're one of my favorite parts of the game and I really loved their character, but I ended up scrapping that idea very early on, as I couldn’t really find a personal tie to anchor the song to me. While I did want to write a song about the game, I didn’t want to write something that didn’t resonate with me and my musical “mythos” in some way. It's a fan song, but it's also a Starving Narcissist song, and I felt it was important to strike that balance. MAL DU PAYS (Monophobia) only got released because I felt that it was something that fit into the larger body of my works even without the context of the game. So in the end, I chose to write about Siffrin, as I found them a lot more personally relatable. The final version, lyrically, is almost like I’m using Siffrin as a vehicle to write about my own feelings. Some lyrics are his, some are mine, a few are both of us, it’s a weird sort of style I’ve never really written in before.

I do have some leftover lyrics from the scrapped Loop version, though!

“There’s a you you’ll never be, across the cosmic sea / Who has everything you wanted, now it’s everything you need; is it over yet?”

- I think originally the song had a lot more of an exhausted vibe, but with most of the stuff I write, the tempo usually gets faster the more I play it. At some point in the writing process the song channeled more of a manic energy than I had originally intended it to. Loud and shouty is kinda just my default lol.

(The first ever demo for the song, recorded September 15, 2024. Features some slightly altered lyrics!)

- The title was also subject to change! I think for a while I was going back and forth on just calling it Homesickness, mostly because I was a little nervous that my song’s name was technically a late game spoiler. Half the reason I wanted to even write the song was because I thought MAL DU PAYS would make a great song title though, so in the end I just sucked it up and went with my gut. The alternate title was also not set in stone, I think originally I was considering just calling it Mania or Paranoia, but I thought those would be a bit generic. Eventually, I settled on Monophobia, because I felt it was apt in describing the song as a whole. I write a lot about loneliness, and Siffrin is afraid of being alone, so it felt fitting to name the song after the fear of it. (And also, a bit more superficially, I thought Monophobia made a better song title.)

- The song is the only Starving Narcissist song on a nylon string guitar, and it's also the second song in a completely non-standard tuning (third if you count ITWYW?, but that's just a half step down from standard). MAL DU PAYS (Monophobia) in DADF#BD, with a capo on 1.

- THIS SONG HAD SO MANY REVISIONS. I don't think I've ever had this many versions to a song ever. It got so bad that I made a specific folder just to hold all the different variations I had for the song. They're not all too different from each other, and they're all built on the same take of the song, but I was playing around with mixing and structuring and vocal layering and its a whole mess. Honestly, the fact that it's a song about a timeloop makes it probably the funniest song this could have happened to.

- And that's about it! To end off this little fun fact post, here's a little something I wrote for Genius (where lyrics for this song and all my others are posted! plus annotations I write! <3) about the song. The response to MAL DU PAYS (Monophobia) has been pretty wild, and I'm glad it managed to resonate with people, even some who don't even know the game it's about.

That's all. While I guarantee this year will probably be slower for Starving Narcissist, rest assured that I am working on stuff, just very slowly. There's a very low chance I'll ever do something as flagrantly self indulgent as this song, but whatever I do end up doing, I hope you're around to see it.

In the meantime, stream the song on spotify! or buy it on bandcamp! or even just go watch the lyric video i made for it (please i spent like a week on this)!

Thanks for everything, see you later <333

Happy one year anniversary to In Stars And Time! tldr; i wrote a song about it. if you wanna skip all the gushing and just listen to it, click here. (spoilers for act 5) If not, behold this big rambly mess of a thing i wrote:

So funny story, I kind of wasn’t planning on releasing anything for the rest of the year. The album wore me out, and the only other idea I had sort of fell through, so I was content on just letting the album be the only thing of note I would make in 2024.

… and then, in September, I played a little RPG called In Stars And Time. beat the whole thing over the course of three days, then spent the next couple weeks ravenously consuming all the fan content I could get my hands on. my friends have been forced to stare at my siffrin pfp every day for two months straight at this point and frankly i think they are tired of me talking about it.

i love the art, i love the story, i love the music, i love the characters, i love the world. siffrin sort of immediately became one of my favorite protagonists like,, ever. and it definitely did not help that i am also a scrawny forgetful person who has to regularly fight off the part of my brain that convinces myself that All My Friends Secretly Hate Me.

I’ve never really been so called out by a character before. The spiraling, the deflection, and the agony of being a stranger to yourself. the yearning for something you cant even name, because how could you? you cant even find the words on your tongue. not being able to tell anyone how you feel because its just easier to live with it, easier to let it eat you from the inside out then to bother anybody else. its easier to keep the mask on, stick to your lines, let the show go on.

all that hit just a bit too close to home. so i did what I usually do When Things Hit and wrote about it.

(like i said, spoilers for Act 5; It’s pretty devoid of context but they’re spoilers nonetheless)

MAL DU PAYS (Monophobia) is a song about cyclical burnout, self-estrangement, and homesickness. It’s half about Siffrin, half about me, but mostly it’s a rumination on loneliness and the hell that is the self.

Out now wherever you listen to music.

“How can you be homesick if nowhere is home?"

[visdiefje]

Sorry for my repeated freaked out apartmentposting. It will happen again

[sainz100]

2024 Brazilian GP | x

[oneluckydragon]

“Fool me once, Dusknoir. Fool me twice?” Echo supplies, ice in the bite of her voice, “And you’ll regret it.”

--- --- --- --- ---

ECHO : (Hero)

Abilities: Bad Dreams / Synchronization

Nature: Impish / Quiet

Moveset: Dark Void / Psychic / Alluring Voice / Moonlight

[hollandbrights]

Some people were able to just live their life without a plan. She had learned that was not for her. Over the few years after she'd left home, Holland had realized that she liked having a plan. While her blog had seemed less planned, her trips were carefully planned. Like a lot of people, her persona online was different than her actual personality. "That's true. Planners have to know that sometimes plans don't always work. But I think I use plans as kind of a jumping board. Sometimes something will change, but for the most part they can be helpful." She smiled. "Exactly."

Her travels mostly took her to through the United States. When she left home, she only had a little bit of stolen money from her parents and mostly lived off that until she got a job. She worked for a bit before taking off. It took a while for her to come up with the idea to come up with a travel blog and a while for it to take off, but when it did, she was thankful for that money. "Oh wow! All over. That's so cool." She nodded. "That's wise." She wished her parents had felt the same way.

"Yes, I know how you feel. I like that you can visit somewhere new and just be a new person. Find new places, new people, forget about things for a bit and just explore." Maybe that made it seem like she was running from something, but she really was running towards something she'd been running from. Especially now that she was in Aurora Bay. "Hm," she thought for a second about the question. "I don't know. I've been traveling for a while. I think here is just as good as anywhere else at the moment."

Clayton leaned back slightly, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Winging it isn’t for everyone, I guess. But sometimes, it’s not so much about avoiding a plan—it’s about not feeling trapped by one.” He paused, his gaze softening as he thought about her words. “But I get why that’d feel terrifying. There’s a lot of comfort in knowing where you’re headed.”

At her question, his smile widened, a hint of nostalgia creeping into his expression. “We hit a lot of places. Some big, some small. I remember hiking through Yellowstone, getting lost in the crowds in New York City, and eating way too much barbecue in Texas. My dad always said every place had something to teach you if you kept your eyes open.”

Clayton hesitated for a moment before adding, his tone a little quieter, “It wasn’t just about the places, though. It was about the way you felt when you were there—like the world was just a little bigger than you’d thought. I think that’s why I liked it so much. It made me feel... I don’t know, less stuck, maybe.” His gaze flicked back to her, curious now. “What about you? If you could stay put anywhere, where would it be? Or is that still part of the blurry future?”

[manasurge]

Just a bit of lore relevant vent art (with terrible proportions bc apparently I mess that up horribly when I'm tired ugh. Watch me regret posting this tomorrow. The head size is already driving me mad bc it's too big, and I can feel myself wanting to abort this mission already) of Mourynn just, lying down on top of one of those large elevated Pale Tree roots far above the Grove (and far away from everyone else), and during the time between the early years and before the Personal story. Caithe is gone (Destiny's Edge), Wynne is gone (bc well, y'know...), even Faolain is gone (bc of Caithe in DE), and she's just feeling miserable, lost, and alone. (Her hair is in between her sapling hair and the Zhaitan hair, so it's grown out a bit bc she's depressed, and she's meant to be in the new outfit she designed, but I'm in the process of redesigning it a bit, so I've made a few tentative changes for now. Her collar is now just an extension of her clavicle leaves which can be put up like a collar, or can be draped down over her shoulders or back)

[circusk]

just spent HOURSS!!!!! of my day . making fop family tree. its got 63 people rn uhmmm yeah

i think i have everyone . maybeee missing a cousin or two idk

[californiaquail]

anyone else feeling fundamentally incapable of adjusting to society. also just discovered there's a 30 tag limit which i can't believe i've never hit before