#but I really get the sense that she's the only one happy about all this when he finally had to fight for her
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(I picked a random age cause canon sucks and nothing makes sense)
My name is Jon Kent, I am the son of Clark Kent aka Superman. I am 8 years old and I have an imaginary friend. She's awesome. She can fly, turn invisible, go through solid objects, shoot beams, and so much more. She has long white hair, glowing green eyes, and wears a black and white suit she looks about 16. Her name is Dani, specifically, Dani with an I. She always says names are important and you should always respect what people wish to be identified as.
Dani showed up one day following my dad home. Mom and Dad can't see her, Mom and Dad say that means she's my imaginary friend.
I love Dani! She tells me stories from all around the world. Like the one about the man in Australia that she watched who is a Crocodile Hunter. I love those stories. She's told me stories about the boy version of her, Danny with a Y, and all the wacky things he's gotten up to. Like how his pants fell down when he was talking to his crush. Danny with a Y stories always makes me laugh.
Dani has even helped me with my powers. I was always a little bit of a loner because I'm secretly half-Kryptonian, so ensuring, I don't harm regular humans is challenging. But with Dani, I don't have to worry, I can even hug her full strength, and she's fine. She is super tough, she says she is stronger than my dad. She's taught me how to better handle my strength. We played hot potato with eggs. Mom wasn't happy when she saw the mess we made. Mom said I wasn't allowed to play with food with Danny anymore. Dani tells me mom and dad pronounce her name wrong they say it with a Y, not an I, she can tell. I say it correctly.
We always play fight in my room. Since she travels so much she teaches me all sorts of different fighting styles. I really like Capoeira, because Mom and Dad just think I'm listening and dancing to music.
Dani only visits for a week at a time. She says she is a free spirit. She always giggles when she says that. I don't know why. Traveling is where she gets the best stories so I stay strong when she leaves. Dani always makes sure I get the best strongest hug before she leaves.
Mom and Dad hear me talk about Dani all the time. They are surprised that she leaves for weeks at a time. I always tell them Dani's traveling to get more stories for me. They always say I have an active imagination about all the things I "come up with". I don't come up with it though Dani always tells me these stories. Mom and Dad just laugh that dumb parental laugh when I defend Dani.
DPxDC #5
Dani while traveling unintentionally becomes children’s imaginary friend. For many children all over the world.
Dani’s only knowledge about adults is that they’re untrustworthy:
- Vlad created her and discarded her
- The Fenton parents are ghost hunters, hunting their own son
- G.I.W
- No adults help Team Phantom
- No other hero’s help Team Phantom
So she instinctively just doesn’t let adults see her.
As she travels she obviously does want to visit other hero’s but wouldn’t trust them. She’d follow them invisibly to learn more about them and fighting styles. Following them home she’d see they have kids.
She would want to interact with the kids and learn more about having a superhero as a parent. Young kids have imaginary friends all the time so parents wouldn’t be too concerned.
She would teach the kids all kinds of things and tell story’s from all around the world. All the adventures she’s been on. Maybe even other languages.
Of course she makes friends with many non hero kids, some even villains kids. Villains kids would get a completely different perspective of the world thanks to Dani.
Down the line eventually it would come out that several different kids have seemingly the same imaginary friend. Parents like to share story about their kids. Like oh my child has this imaginary friend a little girl that can fly and phase through walls and stuff haha they are so silly missing so many hero’s powers together.
Or the parents are having a meet up and bring their kids and the kids can all see Dani. Which isn’t normal for others to see your personal imaginary friend. Kids are gremlins when they learn the truth they have fun with it messing with their parents.
#dpxdc#dcxdp#dc x dp#dp x dc#Dani phantom#Jon Kent#i dont know where I'm going with this#ages make no sense#I don't know DC well enough to do other charactors
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My thing about Veth potentially venturing into polyamory is that I do think everyone involved would be perfectly fine with it and happy to help her experiment, and I think that no matter how they do it, it would not fix her. This isn't to say that she wouldn't get any benefit out of trying! It's just to say that it's not a solution to her actual problem, because I genuinely don't think the problem is that she's lacking any one thing that would make her life complete.
Fundamentally, I think Veth struggles with the idea that there will come a point at which she has to settle. Not in a bad way, just in the sense that she is one person with one life and she will have to live within those bounds. Because the thing is, I don't really think her issue ends at struggling to "have it all"; to an extent she does! She is a good parent, even if her kid is a little rebellious; her marriage is supportive (and has fun sex); she gets to go off to save the world with Yeza's blessing on occasion, when the world needs saving. She doesn't have all of these things all the time, but... that's not really a flaw, that's just a fact of life.
But she started out her adult life settling to an extent—even if she loved Yeza and loved being Luc's mom, she did the safe thing that was expected of her. The goblin attack and everything that transpired after shoved her out of that life, but in retrospect, to an extent it likely feels that that pushed her to find something more that she wouldn't have had otherwise. Being pushed to her limit under the worst conditions made her better, stronger, braver, and at the end of it she found that she could have both her original life and much of her new life—so why wouldn't she then wonder if further experiences of that ilk could do the same?
Crucially, she has not actually run up against a hard limit yet, and as such she hasn't had reason to believe that there is a point at which she has to stop and recognize that there isn't more for her to find. When she was drinking more heavily during missions, even when it caused the death of herself or others, there were no long-term consequences. And the thing is, I'm not saying that she should face that kind of major consequence, but she seems as though she is scared to accept that maybe she could be happy if she stopped before she does.
I'm also not suggesting that she should stop experimenting or trying new things—the Luxon knows I am not one to talk in that realm—but I do think she is searching for novelty not because that would make her happy, but because she doesn't believe that she has the capacity to know what would make her happy. She was unaware that polyamory was even an option, so think of what else she might not be aware of! She doesn't have perfect knowledge of the world, after all, so how can she trust that she's found what she really wants? So yeah, she could fuck someone else, and it might even be an enjoyable experience that she didn't know was missing! But that only prolongs the question of what else she might be missing.
I think that deep down, she's terrified that if she doesn't keep pushing until that external hard limit, she will end up with regrets later, and simultaneously she is resentful that her friends all seem to have reached a point where they are largely content with what they have, because she wants them to have everything. She wants herself to have everything. And she has not yet allowed herself to come to terms with the fact that only she can determine when the everything of what she already has is enough, and anything else is the cherry on top.
#but also she should still try polyamory. because it'd be very funny.#I just think she should corner essek with a knife after sleeping with caleb like 'SURELY YOU WEREN'T ACTUALLY OKAY WITH THAT YOU LIAR'#(because she still feels guilty and unsatisfied and she couldn't possibly be the one keeping herself from being content. nosiree lmao.)#but in all seriousness hilariously I think she should talk to essek about it cuz I think he would actually relate most lmao#and he does seem to be doing well with it! like he's living within the bounds of what will keep him alive sure#but he's also doing so in such a way that's like#I can't have my cake and eat it too but I can be content eating the cake#like look. as an essek girlie. do you think I do not relate lmao. BUT the important point is that it really is up to you#you can do what you want forever! but you also have to live with that.#critical role#cr spoilers#cr meta#veth brenatto
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Something I don't think I've ever seen someone talk about with TF2 (though there probably is someone) is a small detail in the Expiration Date video (which came out in June of 2014, for context that's important later). For context, here's the clip in question:
Did you catch something small? When Scout stands up and says he'll do the date without Spy's help, Spy does something he rarely ever does, something absolutely tiny, but that speaks volumes.
He smiles. A genuine, non-snarky smile.
If you were to watch this when it first came out, and notice this detail, I'd not make any sense, really. Why would he be smiling, when Scout is arguing with him, telling him that he's wrong, basically saying he just wasted his supposed final hours on this world teaching him something he's not going to use?
But then, in January of 2017, nearly 2 and half years later, and (okay spoilers but this has been around for like more than 7, nearly 8 years since posting) it is all but directly shouted from the heavens that Spy is Scout's father. And all of a sudden, this small detail, Spy's smile, takes on a whole new meaning.
As Scout's father, Spy is proud of him.
Even though for what has been presumed to be the finals days of their life, even though Spy has taken ever opportunity to belittle him, to tell him he is a failure and this won't work, that he won't get Pauling (which he probably won't regardless since she is, much like the Spy-Scout relationship, pretty much confirmed to be a lesbian), Scout stands up to him. He stands his ground for something he wants to at least try to do.
And Spy smiles because he is proud of his son for learning one of the best lessons he could ever teach him: stand up for yourself when you believe in something and really want it. He never got to teach him so many things with how he never got to be involved in his raising because of his job, but over the course of 3 days they have, he gets to teach him so much, and leaves him with the most important advice without even saying it.
And it helps to explain a good bit more. It explains why the only reason he interrupts isn't to talk back or put him in his place, but remind him that he's got a date to get to, and his smile only fades when Scout just flat out insults him, like he ruined their father-son bonding moment. It explains why he's so attentive, watching him attempt to start the date, and why when he seems him next, instead of telling him something snarky or rude, or telling him to fight better, he reminds him there is someone he needs to make an apology to, and try to give him the space to take care of that admits the chaos.
Spy can't show it, but he is proud of his son.
Anywho, happy 100th post (took me long enough). Hope to be more active on here, and post more things, and maybe even show off some cool things I make. But to everyone who has been a part of this, from the voice overs on YouTube that first intrigued me to check this place out, to the few but wonderful mutuals I'm so lucky to have, to every weird and amazing person that makes this site somewhere we can call home, I thank you!
okay, bye!
#tf2 scout#tf2 spy#team fortress 2#team fortress scout#tf2 mercs#miss pauling#miss pauling tf2#tf2 expiration date#something I've been wanting to write down for a while#and i hope you like it#or who knows#maybe spy smiles because he can tell/knows pauling is a lesbian and thinks this is going to be funny to see play out#or he thought of something funny#or it's just an animation glitch#but I like to believe it was some excellent foreshadowing#am i'm here for it#100th post#thank you tumblr
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And yet, you're here
Pairing: Geto x fem!reader
Word Count: 2,8k
Synopsis: Years after Suguru left, you're still not able to get him off your mind. When he reappears years after his betrayal, the past collides with the present. Unexpected, in a way you didn't even dare to dream about.
Warnings: this isn't proofread 100%, the emotional rollercoaster you deserve, hurt to comfort big time, this is for all my geto girlies who deserve their happy ending
please please please make this go viral thank you
„He’s a threat for the whole population!”
“We need to kill that brat before he kills all non-sorcerers.”
“I can’t believe someone like him was able to do something like…that.”
“So much wasted potential. Why does a special grade sorcerer act this way?”
“I thought he’s a nice boy.”
“So, you’re not one of those nice guys I guess.”
The sun already hung so low in the sky that you were barely able to see his soft features, let alone the surprised look that crept over his face while hearing those words coming from your mouth.
“Are you talking about me or Satoru?”
You let out one of those cute chuckles he adored so much, the kind he heard in his head on repeat even when you were long gone. Gosh, he couldn’t get enough of this. Those lonely nights with only you and a cigarette by his side, the countless hours he spent trying to understand you while it was his mind that slowly but surely fell apart.
“Nope, I’m always talking about you, Suguru.”
“What am I if not a nice guy, then?”
Sure, Satoru Gojo was his one and only best friend, but you were something else entirely: An unspoken bond that lived in the spaces between words, in glances that lingered just a moment too long. You weren’t a lover, not in the conventional sense, but you weren’t just a friend either. You were a mirror to his soul, the keeper of truths he couldn't bear to speak aloud, and the only person who could hold the weight of his silence without it breaking you both.
“You’re... complicated,” you finally replied, the word laced with warmth rather than judgment.
“You’re the kind of person who feels too much but hides it too well. The kind who would burn the world down if it meant saving the people you love. Not everyone understands that, but I do. Or at least I’m convinced I do.”
Suguru’s lips twitched into a faint smile, more melancholic than amused.
“Complicated, huh? That’s one way to put it.”
“And dangerous,” you added lightly, the hint of a smile in your voice.
“But not in the way they think. Not to me.”
His expression softened, the darkness in his eyes easing for just a moment as he stared at you.
“Not to you,” he echoed, as though testing the words on his tongue, letting them sink into the cracks of his fraying soul.
Till this day, that one last conversation both of you had on that lonely bench still haunts him. The way you looked at him back then, as if you’d already knew that you might never see him again, as if you just counted the hours until he goes berserk.
What are you thinking about him now?
Is he still on your mind?
Are you hating him the way Satoru does?
“You’re thinking about her again, don’t you?”
Fuck. He thought about you.
Again.
Suguru lets out a sharp exhale, the sound halfway between a sigh and a laugh, bitter enough to sting his own ears. How pathetic he has to look to the people surrounding him. When he walked down this path, he knew that he’ll have to do it without you, that he won’t be able to see you again. And yet…
Losing you seems to hurt more than anything else.
“Of course I am,” he admits to his assistant, his voice low and rough like gravel underfoot.
“Not like I can help it. She’s everywhere, even when she’s not. It’s ridiculous.”
There it is again, your face ghosting through his mind. Other than Satoru and Shoko, you never really tried to find him. If you wanted to, you would, right? Maybe you’re too mad at him for all the things he’s done. Or maybe you already forgot about him.
“But it doesn’t matter, does it? She’s gone. Just like everything else.”
For a moment, he closes his eyes, trying to drown out the memories, the sound of your laugh, the way your voice softened when you said his name, the weight of your eyes on him as if you could see through all the lies he told himself. He’d burn every memory if he could, let them smolder in the same fire that consumed the rest of his life.
“Besides. She’d hate me now, just like everyone else. Maybe she was just waiting for me to turn into the monster she saw coming.”
“Stop stewing in these thoughts, that doesn’t matter anymore. We’re expecting another bunch of monkeys in half an hour.”
But even as she said it, the words tasted wrong. It shouldn’t matter that he can still feel the warmth of your gaze, your unwavering belief in him, and yet it cuts deeper than any accusation ever could. Suguru shakes his head while straightening his shoulders, eyes locked onto Manami in front of him in order to force you off his mind.
“Doesn’t matter,” he repeats, his voice barely above a whisper, as though trying to convince himself.
“It’s too late for that now. So, where’s the monkeys?”
“Why did I know I’d find you here?”
His voice startles you, making you jump slightly. You turn to see none other than Satoru Gojo standing there, hands in his pockets, his white hair catching the fading sunlight. The sunglasses perched on his nose don’t quite hide the sharp edge in his expression he usually wears around you.
“Because I’m always here, I guess,” you reply softly, your tone as tired as the circles under your eyes appear.
“And I told you to stop a long time ago,” Satoru bites back, his voice bitter, cutting.
“The Suguru you knew… he’s gone.”
The weight of his words lands hard, though they’re not new. He’s said them before, with the same venom in his voice, every time you bring up Suguru or the past.
“I know. I’ve always known.”
“Then why do you keep punishing yourself? Dropping out of Jujutsu High when everyone needed you didn’t bring him back. Hiding out here doesn’t change anything, y’know?”
“It wasn’t about bringing him back, Satoru,” you snap, your voice sharper than you intend.
“It was about… letting him go. You wouldn’t understand.”
“Try me,” he challenges, stepping closer.
“I’ve spent years watching people destroy themselves over things they can’t fix. I know the look in your eyes - you miss him. You always have. But you didn’t even try to stop him when he turned his back on us.”
You flinch, his words hitting a nerve.
“Because it wasn’t my place. I wasn’t like you, Gojo. I wasn’t his best friend. I wasn’t strong enough to drag him back kicking and screaming or to stand in his way. All I could do was… let him live the way he decided to. I thought… maybe if I stayed behind, if I didn’t follow him, he’d understand that I believed in him, that I trust him and his actions, the path he chooses. That I’d be here if he ever wanted to come back.”
Satoru’s shoulders tense, his jaw tightening. He never understood. Until this day, he never wrapped his head around the fact that you didn’t try to stop his best friend back then. You, who had more power over Suguru than himself.
God, how much he hates that disgusting truth until now.
“And look where that got you,” he mutters.
You look away, your hands gripping the edge of the bench for support.
“I never expected to see him again, Satoru. I didn’t think I’d matter enough to him for that.”
The silence between you stretches thin, brittle as glass.
“Do you think he hates me?” you ask, your voice barely audible.
“For staying behind? For not going after him?”
Gojo doesn’t answer, which is answer enough. You know he blames you, at least a little, for what happened. For not doing more. For leaving everything to him. For allowing Suguru to turn his back on Jujutsu High.
“Suguru hating you? Never. I bet he still thinks about you every damn day”, Satoru mutters under his breath before turning on his heels and leaving you standing in the rain.
Suguru, still thinking about you? You shake your head vehemently, not allowing that absurd thought into your brain. If he would miss you, he’d visit you, right? In all those years, he never lifted a finger in order to find you.
You were right there. In your small apartment, at jujutsu high.
Maybe he forgot about you after all.
“Me? Forgetting you? I’d never be able to do that, (y/n).”
Maybe some promises are meant to be broken.
-a few evenings later-
You’ve drank too much.
You always do when Shoko isn’t with you, when no one’s around to watch you. But even though you emptied a whole bottle of liqueur on your own, you still aren’t able to forget him. Fuck, his face is glued onto your mind like a second skin, never leaves you even though you drink enough to forget your own name.
Will it always feel like this? Will that ache ever go away?
“What are you thinking about, handsome?”
“Something I’ve lost some while ago”, you mumble, absently swirling your glittery cocktail around.
“That’s a bummer.”
You don’t even gift the random stranger next to you a look, the guy who smells like cheap cigarettes so vehemently that you feel like throwing up.
Maybe it’s time to call it a day.
“Yeah. Whatever.”
You spring back onto your feet, the alcohol vibrating through your veins. You were never much of a drinker back then, only shared a cigarette with Suguru from time to time. But this became your only way to numb the pain. At least for a few hours, at least for some time.
The cold air of the night hits your face like a wall. Even though it’s far past midnight, the city buzzes in street light, laughter and cries. And yet, all you’re able to think about is him again. His laugh, his voice, the way he used to look at you when he thought no one else was watching. Is it wrong to long for him? Is it disgusting that you couldn’t care less about the things he’s done those past years, about what he’d become?
You shake your head, trying to dispel the thoughts, but they cling to you, stubborn and relentless. Why can’t you just stop? Stop longing for something that will never happen, stop running after a person who is long gone? Suguru won’t come back, you won’t just meet him on a random street-
The click of footsteps catches your attention. Heavy, yet elegant footsteps across the still busy street.
At first, you think it’s just another stranger wandering through the city’s darkened streets. But something about the rhythm - steady, purposeful - sets your nerves on edge. Something about this feels familiar.
You glance up, your heart skipping a beat as your gaze meets a pair of familiar dark brown eyes.
Suguru Geto.
The world around you blurs, the sounds of the city fading into silence. It’s him, unmistakably him. His hair is longer than you remember, strands sticking to his face from what looks like rain, or maybe it’s sweat. Blood splatters ruin his clothes and the sharp line of his jaw, painting a stark, gruesome picture paired with those cold orbs. His expression is unreadable, but his eyes… they’re searching, watching your every move.
You should run, or scream, or yell at him – at least something that shows him what he put you through.
Anything.
He’s the same man who left you, who walked away from everything, from you. He, who didn’t even tell you about his true feelings, who didn’t care about the consequences of his actions, who didn’t even ask you to join. All those miserable nights you imagined him sitting next to you on that bench, the bottles of alcohol you’ve drank just to forget his name. He needs to pay for it, needs to know what he did to you by leaving you behind.
But instead, your feet move of their own accord, closing the distance between you in an instant.
Before he can react, you throw your arms around him so, pulling him into a tight embrace.
Suguru freezes, his body stiff against yours. He doesn’t move, doesn’t speak, as if the sheer force of your presence has left him powerless. You bury your face against his chest, not caring about the blood, the grime, or the hurricane of questions swirling in your mind. All you care about is the fact that he’s here, alive, and solid beneath your touch. You can feel him – not only in your dreams, but for real.
Suguru is here.
He’s alive.
He’s right between your arms.
The scent of him - familiar, though tinged with something darker - fills your senses, dragging you back into a world you thought you’d never touch again. Tears sting your eyes, but you bite them back, unwilling to let them fall.
“Suguru,” you whisper, your voice trembling.
Finally, he moves. His arms lift hesitantly, then wrap around you with a force that knocks the air out of your lungs. He holds you like he’s afraid you’ll disappear any given minute, his grip firm and desperate. His head dips slightly, and for a moment, you think you feel him trembling too.
“What are you doing?”
His voice is rough, low, almost broken.
“I don’t know,” you admit, your voice muffled against his chest.
“I just… I missed you.”
He pulls back just enough to look at you, his dark eyes scanning your face as if trying to memorize every detail.
“You shouldn’t be here,” he mutters, his tone a mixture of regret and warning.
“Neither should you,” you counter, your gaze unwavering.
Suguru’s lips twitch, almost forming a smile, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. He lifts a hand, his fingers brushing against your cheek as though testing if you’re real.
“You should hate me.”
“Maybe I should,” you reply, your voice steady despite the storm raging inside you.
God, you’re so furious at him. Mad because he ran away, mad because he left you standing in the rain.
Mad because this is actually the first time Suguru Geto hugged you.
“But I don’t. I guess I could never hate you.”
His expression falters, the mask he’s worn for so long cracking just enough to reveal the man beneath. The one you knew, the one you loved in a way you never fully understood. And for the first time since leaving everything behind, he feels that small ray of sunshine taking in his heart again.
“You don’t know what I’ve done, what I’ve become. I was so sure you’ll hate me like everyone else.”
“I know enough. And I don’t care. You’re still Suguru Geto, aren’t you?”
He exhales sharply, the sound almost like a laugh, though there’s no humor in it. You, not caring about the fact that he ended countless lives out of his own fulfilment? You, a jujutsu sorcerer who always protected those monkeys?
“You’re too good for this,” he bites back, shaking his head.
“Too good for me.”
“Don’t decide that for me,” you snap, surprising even yourself with your suddenly so sharp tone.
“You don’t get to make that choice. You already did when you left without saying goodbye”
The silence between you stretches, heavy with unspoken words. You’re right and he knows it. But… Was it really a possibility to take you with him back then? Was there a tiny chance that you…would have joined him?
Slowly, he leans his forehead against yours, his eyes closing as though seeking comfort in your presence. No, he doesn’t want to think this through. Not right now. Not when he feels your heart pound against his body, not when you’re this close to him for the very first time.
“I thought I’d never see you again,” he admits, his voice barely a whisper.
“I told myself it was better that way.”
“And yet you’re here,” you point out softly.
“And yet I’m here,” he echoes, his lips curving into a faint, bitter smile.
For a moment, it’s just the two of you. No blood, no curses, no jujutsu, no past or future. Just the weight of the present, fragile and fleeting. And for now, that’s enough.
For now, simply holding the man you thought you’ve lost forever on a random street is more than enough to make you feel whole again.
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One hyper-specific version of Hinny, my beloved:
Sorry for this... odd outline for a ship concept? Just sorta spilled out, but I wanted to write it somewhere before it left my brain:
Harry loved Ginny because she seemed so normal. Ginny loved Harry because he seemed anything but.
Both of those were true and were beautiful. They kept each other afloat during the war, even when apart. Something to dream of. But they are still childish dreams. They're not built to last.
They get together after the war, mourn together, lean on each other - and it is wonderful. It is over, finally over... ...Harry doesn't know what to do. Being idle feels... odd. Ginny suggests, since he is so amazing at it, being an Auror. It will keep him busy - he can help people while he calms down.
Good idea, Ginny. That feels... right. Yes. That sounds normal... He wanted to do that before everything ended... it makes sense. Ginny goes back to Hogwarts for her final year, overachieving. Harry... focuses on putting one foot in-front of the other. Breathing.
Being an Auror DID feel right. Constantly preparing for the next crisis, taking orders, staying in motion, ignoring how everyone watches him... stepping into a dance he already knows.
When he came home to Ginny she was still so Normal. Enthusiastic about his day. Always matching his mood with whatever balanced it... as always. Just like always. It was Happy... right? ...No... wait... didn't he want things to be different? Didn't he want things to feel 'Normal'? Was this normal...? Was he even capable of-
No time to think: He's going to be a dad!!! :D :D :D Ginny's upset... but that's just pregnancy, everyone tells him. She seems distant. But he isn't sure how. Did she ever feel close...? Or did she just GET close to him before - where now they don't?
She says she is upset he works so much. He's in hospital too much. He comes home too late and gets up too early... She thought, when she was pregnant, he would be home more.
He tries, he really does - but being idle at home... he feels broken. A job he is good at, a wife he loves, a child on the way... But it's a job that feels the same as fighting. A wife he barely knows. A child he is terrified of failing.
Oh shit. Is this how Remus felt...? Years of being trained to survive till adulthood yet not a single lesson on how to be an adult. He just had to keep going. Like he told Remus to. Like his own father did. Be there for his Wife, be there for his Son... ...even though that trapped both of them. Killed both of them.
Ginny thinks Harry was capable of pretty much anything, that if she just kept propping him up a little he would come good. But the weight of his trauma just gets heavier ontop of her the longer it doesn't actually get understanding and support. And she isn't capable of giving it. She doesn't understand him.
Harry breaks - and he feels pathetic. He feels trapped. He feels broken. He wanted a normal life and now he has it but it hurts. His job as an Auror hurts, but not doing it hurts more. He's never been a civilian before - he's been fighting something since infancy.
He has some serious PTSD and cPTSD shit going on. Symptoms he is only noticing now that his life is quiet. As is common for PTSD. Why does he want to run back to the dark times all the time? To the pain that's familiar, that he at least knows how to deal with...
So Harry goes and fucks Draco, probably B^)
Put this in a chat originally, but I'm still thinking about it so it's going here too. I really think Ginny got done so dirty by how Hinny ended up turning out in the books. She really truly does deserve better imho. It's so tragic because Ginny gets kind of overlooked a lot and diary!Tom seems to be the only person to really listen to her...ever. And he doesn't even actually care about her. And once he's gone she never gets that again. He gloats in the end of book 2 that she once told him "no one's ever understood my like you, Tom" and that's still true.
Harry never tells her anything nor does he seem to bother to learn anything about her. Never mind the Horcrux stuff that he only shares with Ron & Hermione and never even considers telling her about. He doesn't even tell her about the prophecy after book 5. And in book 7 he goes into her room briefly and mentions that he's never been there before. All that time he lived with her and he never looked in.
And he shows no sign of recognition when he sees what posters she has up there. He doesn't think "oh of course she'd have that" because he never even found out basic things like what teams or music groups she likes. The one person who ever bothered to care to actually find out these sorts of things and show interest in her was Tom...who turned out to be using her. It's really sad.
I do actually like hinny happening in the books and find it realistic given both their characterizations - given the way Ginny idolizes Harry and probably feels pressured to change to become his "perfect girl" and to not "bother" him with her problems and the way Harry thinks he might be dead soon and Ginny symbolizes to him all the normalcy he thinks he might never get to have, more an idea that a person, and also seems to be physically attractive to him. I just don't like it as an endgame relationship. I think it's realistic they would get together under the circumstances they did. And i think they would break up after the war when Harry realizes he's not comfortable talking to Ginny and Ginny realizes Harry doesn't respect her and they both realize they don't really know or understand one another.
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Sunshine, Lollipops, and Rainbows 7
Warnings: non/dubcon, clashing personalities, exclusion, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.
Characters: moody boy Curtis Everett x bubbly, plus-size reader
My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.
As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.
You sit at your desk, shaken as the sound of the mug shattering repeats in your head. You can smell the dark roast as you stare fuzzily at your monitor. You hadn’t even taken the coffee you brewed. You can see it in your mind, forgotten on the counter, lonely, going cold.
You have no thirst for the maple shortbread roast. You rub your fingers together, the feeling of the shards, the incessant jitter that won’t leave you. You tried to play it cool but now you’re really scared.
You open your Teams and type out a message to your manager. You’re spending half a sick day and going home. Her curt response betrays her agitation. She’s not impressed but you don’t care. Work isn’t as important as taking care of yourself.
You shut down and pack up your bag. You slide your chair under your desk and keep your head down as you head for the stairs. You avoid the elevators to evade any notice. It feels like admitting defeat but you’re not sure there’s any victory to be had with that man.
As you exit the building, the weight lifts from your chest and the slouch eases in your shoulders. Maybe you can ask to change desks. That would be a start. You can get a bigger thermos and bring lots of coffee so you never need to venture into the breakroom. This could work.
Oh boy. You think you’re going to have to quit. You really don’t want to, you feel like you’ve barely begun. And he isn’t the only person there, it isn’t his company, so why should you have to run away?
Dana can be… decent and there’s that woman with the vintage blouse you met in the breakroom. Somehow, you never managed to spill her coveted hot chocolates in your carelessness. It’s as if the universe put you on the path of this angry man, but why?
Screw the universe. It can’t tell you how to live. You’ve never really worried about fitting into its machinations and you won’t start now.
You don’t want to go home right away. You veer around and head down to the cafe a few blocks down. It’s a bit of a trek but you’ve heard good things. You go inside and wait your turn, ordering an iced fruity tea and a lemon scone.
As you turn to go, you see that woman through the window. The one from the office in her thrifted clothes. You love her style. A braid red belt with brown tweed pants and a bell sleeved button up. She doesn’t see you wave as she turns away and carries on, earbuds tucked into her ears.
You claim a table by the window and as you unwrap your scone, a man marches by, raising your hackles as you see the determination in his step. He heads in the same direction as that woman, intent and unbothered by his surroundings. You’ve seen him too, he works in one of the fancy offices.
You pick at the scone and nibble on the corner before sliding it away again. You’re still addled by your breakroom run-in. You thought this would be a distraction. Or hoped it would.
You leave, unsatisfied. Home it is. Alone, but safe.
You take the bus halfway then walk a few blocks to your apartment. As you get inside, you’re restless. You do your best to settle in.
Gaming doesn’t calm you down, even as you go around to say hello to your villagers. You shut that off and grab your half-done crochet project but the hippo is too much of a challenge to ease your nerves. So you get up and run yourself a hot bath.
You undress with the door open. You bask in your newfound solace. It took you a while to get out of your parents’ place but now you’re on your own, you don’t have to worry.
You slip into the water with a sigh. A playlist drones from your phone on the counter and you mix in scented epsom salts. You start to feel a bit bed as you recline and close your eyes. You stay like that until the water is lukewarm.
You get out and pull on your fluff rope with the pink cheetah print. You feel renewed and ready to relax. Just don’t think about the inevitable. Tomorrow you’ll have to be back in office.
You shuffle around you apartment lazily and turn on the television. You curl up in the corner of the couch as Sailor Moon transforms in the intro sequence. The music fills your small space. You’re comforted by the childhood favourite.
You ease into the cushions and feel yourself starting to doze. You’d still be at work if you didn’t take the half-day. You shouldn’t be falling asleep already but you can’t resist the nap.
You close your eyes and something scratches down ear canal. Some sort of friction. You don’t pay it much mind. There’s always noise from the hallway or the street. But it happens again and again, then you feel something.
You sit up in fright and turn to the figure sat next to you. You’re so stunned, you can’t find your voice to scream. You take a deep breath and Curtis raises his index fingers.
“If you scream, I’m going to have be bad,” he warns. “So let’s not do that.”
“How’d you get in here?”
He tilts his head as he watches the television. You peek over. You like this episode too—but that’s not the point!
“Curtis--”
He hushes you and sits back. “You don’t make it hard to follow you. You’re so oblivious, you have no clue what’s going on right in front of your face.”
“I...”
He shushes you again and looks at you. “You’re going to get real hurt one of these days.” He crosses his arms and puts his head straight again. “It’s up to you. Is today that day?”
#curtis everett#dark curtis everett#dark!curtis everett#curtis everett x reader#series#drabble#sunshine lollipops and rainbows#snowpiercer#au
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Arcane Season 2 has me messed up and not in a good way
It’s actually breaking my heart that I don’t love this show anymore.
I don’t want to hate it, there’s pieces I love but there’s also pieces I hate. Act l had me in such high hopes and then it stuttered then crashed and burned.
I just feel so disappointed with so many parts of it. Actively angry at others.
There are some moments that I loved that had me feeling the same high as the first season but every time I thought things would develop better they didn’t.
I think I’m only really happy with Ekko and I was worried about him for much of the season. As an Ekko and Jinx shipper I was pleased with most of their story but the way they ended Jinx’s story undermined the importance of their talk so…
Honestly I would trade all the ship stuff for a proper story arc for Vi, Jinx, Cait and the rest
I saw the signs for Vi as soon as her pit fighter arc didn’t extend passed the promo clips. I kept waiting to delve into her issues but that never came.
Jinx was done so dirty. And this was something I prayed wouldn’t happen. She’s so personal to me in ways that would take too long to go into here. I had high hopes for her, especially after Isha and her starting to move forward, I knew it wouldn’t last but I knew (hoped) it would be interesting. I fully expected Isha to die but the way it happened was so weird?? The scene itself felt like it was manipulating me which is something I hate with a passion.
Likewise I expected her to relapse into suicidality after that and I had suspected that the scene with Ekko would happen. Her scene with Vi beforehand hurt in a good way and I wanted to watch as she hit rock bottom then clawed her way back as she started to mend the broken relationships in her life.
The thing that finally set me off was her hair. I thought she would cut it after she decided to live, as a show a change but before was just so cliché (it did look cute but don’t go trying to distract me)
I really didn’t want people blaming Vi for Jinx running off to try to end herself again. And I didn’t, even though I knew something was wrong about the way the scene played out and lead into the sex scene. I knew something was wrong I was just hoping that I was wrong.
I was so looking forward to the CaitVi sex scene, since King Princess was revealed for the soundtrack. Hoping her and Cait would have a real ass conversation, a hard conversation and then get that moment together but it just felt wrong. I wanted to love it but I didn’t. As a King Princess fan I was so excited but all I feel now is at best apathy and at worst anger. The more I read from lesbians in the fandom and those that care for Vi how I care for Jinx the worse I feel.
Briefly let’s talk about Cait. I was interested in her arc after Act l. Messy it would be and a long road back for sure but I had hope. She was done dirty too.
Back to Jinx…. What the fuck was that ending? Her “sacrifice” felt so similar to her fights with Vi (Act l) and Ekko (S1) where she was going to let herself die. No growth from the rest of the season, that’s how they left us, that’s what they did to a character that they did so beautifully in S1. I don’t care if she’s alive, that’s not a fucking ending.
(Apologies for continuing to bring up my predictions. I just think it’s funny how my thoughts make more sense than what we got)
I didn’t mind the idea of her sacrificing herself for Vi, Arcane is a tragedy after all. Her being the one to protect her sister in the end not because she thought Vi was better off without her but because Vi protects everyone and her sister can help now would have been great.
But that ending rubbed me wrong in every way.
The story of these sisters meant everything to me and what a fool we all were to think it was in competent hands. Like seriously I can’t believe this is the same writing team.
All of us went in with high hopes and then had those hopes crushed.
I’ve seen so many people who were excited to react and analyze go radio silent after Act ll and I hope they stay that way. I’d love to change my mind but I don’t think I can. I don’t think there’s any coming back.
I wanted to take the good moments and leave it alone but I keep feeling the disappointment because the show’s first season left a mark on me that I’ll treasure forever and I can’t let go. I still have so many feelings about this. Piltover and Zaun, Victor and Jayce, Mel and Ambessa, admittedly not my area of expertise but safe to say they all deserved better and we deserved better.
I would say it felt like a fanfic but I know fans have more grace and respect for this story.
This is not the tragedy I signed up for.
#this is dragging me down man#and I know I’m not the only one#i just needed to get this out#I don’t post much but here goes#arcane#arcane season 2#arcane criticism#vi arcane#jinx arcane#caitlyn arcane#ekko arcane#caitvi#timebomb#arcane spoilers
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The Nanny
On a quiet morning, when spring and warmer weather were finally on the cusp of the Capitol, Soarynn was stumped by a question that caused her fingers to stop their memorized pattern of braiding Ceraphina's hair.
"Soarynn, how do you know when you're in love?"
Soarynn blinks once, twice, three times. She's never really thought about that before. Of course, she's thought about love, being in love, falling in love. But truly, how does one know when they're in love?
"I...I don't know darling," she admits, grabbing another blonde curl and tucking it into the braid, "I suppose you just wake up one morning and know that you're with the right person."
"Okay, but how?"
Clearly, Soarynn's answer is insufficient for the young girl who's getting to that age where everything is "so romantic." Soarynn remembers being that way when she was little, thinking it was so wonderful how every adult around her was in love. Watching adults hold hands while crossing busy streets and share warm drinks on cold nights was the ultimate tribute to being in love in her eyes.
It also didn't help that she had grown up without witnessing her own parent's love due to the unfortunate death of her mother. She's sure that Ceraphina had experienced a bit of that as well, even though she knew her mother before she passed away.
But Coriolanus and Livia were never in love.
He's admitted to that countless times since they started courting, talked about how Livia made him feel as if he were stuck in the middle of a business arrangement. It often leads Soarynn to wonder how many other couples are simply together for all the wrong reasons and if she and Coriolanus are together for the wrong ones as well.
Not that there's anything wrong with them. After that little hallway incident, he's been nothing but sweet, showering her with words of adoration, tokens of his affection, and sweet gestures that go above and beyond. He's certainly a charmer.
But sometimes she wonders about how they met, how strange it is that a nanny ended up with her employer and then she just ends up feeling strange and icky.
At least she didn't break up their marriage. That's something she constantly reminds herself of. Their marriage was broken long before she came to the Snow family.
"It's this feeling you get inside of you," Soarynn says, placing a hand over her heart, "this feeling that you simply can't live without this person and you want to do everything with them, no matter how mundane or uncomfortable. With the love of your life, everything makes sense."
Ceraphina tilts her head, "Are you in love with Daddy?"
Soarynn already knows how she feels about Coriolanus, but she doesn't always know how he feels about her.
"I care very deeply about your father," she smoothly answers, giving Ceraphina a tight-lipped smile through the mirror's reflection. Ceraphina returns it with one of her own and kicks her feet as they dangle off the vanity stool, "Is Daddy your best friend?" Soarynn raises her eyebrows, she has friends, but a best friend is something she hasn't considered.
But the more she thinks about it, the more it seems plausible. They see each other every day, they spend lots of time together, they joke and laugh with one another, he makes her happy, she feels as though she can tell him anything. They're honest with each other.
Isn't that what a best friend is?
"He is," she confirms with a more genuine smile this time, "spending time with your father makes me very happy." Ceraphina giggles and cranes her neck back so that she's looking up at Soarynn, "Good! Because I asked him last night and he said that you were his best friend!"
Soarynn's eyes widen in surprise, she's forgotten how involved the girls can get with her relationship with their father. At first, she had worried there might be jealousy. They were the only girls in his life and now there was another woman but that wasn't the case. No, the girls were elated to have Soarynn and their father together, a little too elated sometimes since they were constantly hinting at marriage.
Which sometimes worried Soarynn because she didn't want to get her own hopes up let alone the children's. Coriolanus hadn't really ever talked about getting married again and it's not like she could blame him when his last marriage had a bit of a traumatic ending.
"Well, I'm glad that we're on the same page," she says, tying up Ceraphina's hair with a ribbon, "and you look so pretty darling, this is the perfect look for the museum today." Ceraphina smiles at her reflection, admiring Soarynn's handiwork with her hair, "Thank you!"
Soarynn presses a kiss to the top of her head before Ceraphina hops off of the stool and runs out into her bedroom, leaving Soarynn alone in the bathroom with a looming question.
Does Coriolanus see her as a potential wife?
꧁ ꧂
After contemplating her relationship in the bathroom for a good five minutes, Soarynn gathered herself and her thoughts before making her way out into the girls' room and instructing them to put on their shoes so they could depart for the museum.
"I'll go get your brother's shoes on and meet you in the hallway," she tells them, waiting for nods of confirmation so she can actually trust them to do what she said. Once both girls dutifully bob their heads up and down, Soarynn slips out into the hallway and heads toward Caspian's room. But then she stops when she sees several Avoxes walking in and out of the one room that is practically off-limits.
The master bedroom. Where she sleeps almost every night.
The Avoxes appear to be carrying lots of boxes in and out of the room which puzzles Soarynn. Just this morning she woke up in the arms of her lover and he hadn't mentioned any new furniture being moved into the room. Perhaps it's something that Eudora planned out and Coriolanus simply forgot about it.
Soarynn shrugs it off and gently opens the doors to Caspian's room, finding him right where she left him, on his new bed. Caspian has slept in a crib since the day she started working for the Snows but just last week he got a brand-new bed.
A "big-boy bed."
He's been very pleased with himself and his new bed, constantly climbing in and out of it for the fun of it. Coriolanus had worried that he might try to slip out of his room in the middle of the night but Soarynn reminded him of Caspian's inability to reach the door handles and that calmed him down.
It certainly is adorable to see him so excited about his new bed and the best thing about it is that he can now fit more stuffed animals on it compared to his crib where his space was more limited.
"Lenny go museum," he says the moment he lays eyes on Soarynn. The two-year-old boy has become more and more determined to bring Lenny everywhere and Soarynn has become more and more discouraged to argue with him since it'll often end in a tantrum. And for Caspian, a tantrum is him sitting facing the wall and not talking to anyone for at least two hours.
Which is the best tantrum she's ever seen but it's still a tantrum nonetheless.
"Lenny can come to the museum darling," she reassures him, "but we've got to get your shoes on first." His eyes scan his bedroom floor and Soarynn does the same thing because she swears that she laid out his shoes earlier this morning. Unless a certain toddler moved them and can't remember where he put them.
"You wouldn't happen to know where they are, would you Cas?"
He averts his gaze, staring up at the ceiling instead and Soarynn laughs, "I'll take that as a no." That's okay, he has more shoes than he'll ever need so she just goes into the closet to find another pair. She dressed him in khaki-colored pants, a little white shirt, and a red coat to go overtop for when they're outside. Soarynn grabs a small pair of brown leather shoes, humming to herself as she undoes the tiny laces. The thing she loves about children is how cute their clothes are.
She wonders how tiny baby clothes can get.
Does Coriolanus want another baby if they get married?
She really needs to get a grip on her thoughts because this is getting out of hand. Right now, all she needs to focus on is the children.
She has to be the nanny.
꧁ ꧂
There are days when Soarynn only sees Coriolanus once. Breakfast is a promised meeting time for the entire family no matter what the day holds and Soarynn looks forward to it immensely. The girls get to talk to Coriolanus until his ears fall off and Caspian gets to be near his father which is more than enough for him. Breakfast isn't really the time for Soarynn to butt in and talk, not when she often spends the nights with Coriolanus, wrapped up in his sheets.
But today is not one of those days. Because there are days when a person keeps running into the same person over and over again, as if the universe wants them to be together. Even if Soarynn has mixed feelings about that person right now because she doesn't know if he wants to get married and have more children with her.
Which is so utterly ridiculous and she knows that but it doesn't stop her heart from beating faster and faster whenever she thinks of him. Get it together, she tells herself while carrying a sleepy Caspian on her hip, you can talk to him about it tonight. The museum had been wonderful today, a new exhibit about the ocean opened up and the girls loved every second of it. The exhibit mostly focused on different marine life and even had a real whale skeleton.
Needless to say, they were at the museum for a long time.
Caspian was already falling asleep in the car but Soarynn tried to keep him awake until they got back home so she could put him down for a proper nap. "Bed," he mumbles while nuzzling his head against her neck. Soarynn hums, brushing some of his hair out of his face, "I know sweet boy, we'll get you down for a nap."
They ran into Eudora when they got back home and she took the girls to get a snack so Soarynn could put Caspian down for a nap. Soarynn starts walking up the back staircase, her head down as she focuses on the steps when she notices a pair of black leather shoes pass by her going in the opposite direction. She immediately looks up when the scent of roses washes over her and comes face to face with a grinning Coriolanus.
Her heart might beat out of her chest, she doesn't know why she's suddenly so nervous around him, it's probably got something to do with her stupid thoughts about the future and what it holds for them.
"Well isn't this a pleasant surprise?" He says, resting a hand on her arm. Soarynn forces a smile onto her face and nods, "Yes, yes it is. We just got back from the museum." A wave of recognition washes over his porcelain face, "Ah yes, I remember you mentioned it this morning at breakfast."
Soarynn hums but doesn't say anything else which is ironic since she's usually thrilled to run into Coriolanus in the middle of the day. He rarely ever leaves his study if he's working from home.
He furrows his eyebrows, looking her up and down in a concerned manner, "Are you feeling alright darling?"
"Mhm."
Caspian lifts his head after hearing his father's voice, "Lenny go nap."
Coriolanus gives Caspian a gentle squeeze, fixing the collar of his little coat, "Lenny isn't the only one who needs a nap." Soarynn chuckles softly, Caspian often projects his needs and wants onto Lenny, "What were you doing upstairs?" She asks, her curiosity getting the best of her. Coriolanus is a man who values routine and the only time he ever comes upstairs is if he needs to change his clothes but he appears to be wearing the same outfit he wore to breakfast this morning.
He coughs into his fist, looking down at the floor, "Just needed to grab something."
Now they're both lying.
"Alright. Well...I'll see you later then," she says softly, taking another step up. Coriolanus gives her a grunt of approval, "Yes, I was thinking we could have dinner tonight." She doesn't know if she can survive dinner with him tonight, not with her own thoughts running wild but she doesn't want to be rude or ungrateful, "That sounds wonderful," she lies.
He smiles although it doesn't reach his eyes the way a genuine smile does and leans forward to press a kiss to her cheek, "I'll see you tonight then darling."
Soarynn nods and turns to go up the rest of the stairs but she stops herself midway, unable to stop herself from asking the question that's been burning in her mind since doing Ceraphina's hair this morning, "Actually I," Coriolanus stops in his tracks, looking up at her from the first landing of steps, "Yes?"
Soarynn feels a rush of embarrassment wash over her. What a stupid thing to ask him right now, "Never mind," she says, going up the rest of the steps before he can stop her.
Soarynn scolds herself for acting so...so stupid! This morning she felt perfectly normal around Coriolanus, giddy even but now she can barely look the man in the eyes without wanting to ask him if they're ever going to get married or have children.
At least she has until tonight to get her thoughts and her act together.
Soarynn pads into Caspian's room, changing him into pajamas before tucking him into his new bed. She kisses his forehead and sings his favorite song, the meadow song, watching him drift off to sleep with Lenny in his grip. Soarynn watches him sleep for a while, enamored by the sweet boy who calls her his mother despite having no blood relation.
If Caspian considers her his mother then why should she even worry about Coriolanus wanting more children? Ceraphina, Celeste, and Caspian are more than perfect. If anything, Soarynn is selfish for wanting more children.
There, problem solved.
꧁ ꧂
"Soarynn dear, could you run this over to Coriolanus?"
Problem not solved.
Soarynn might throw up.
She just got downstairs after putting Caspian down for his nap and she was feeling much better before Eudora asked her that question. She thought she just solved her problem but just hearing his name made her feel nervous. She brushes her hair behind her ears, looking around the room to make sure that Eudora is talking to her and not someone else named Soarynn.
"Don't you want to do it?" She asks, doing her best to sound casual while stepping into the dining room. Eudora and the girls are all sitting at the table, cookies and tea in front of them although it looks like the girls are drinking apple juice from the tea cups instead of actual tea.
Eudora waves her off as if she's doing Soarynn a grand favor, "You'll be fine, just hand him this file. He asked me to go over it this morning for the upcoming Hunger Games."
Ah yes, the Hunger Games that Coriolanus has to keep running because apparently, his father created them. The night that Coriolanus told Soarynn about Lucy Gray, he also told her more about the origin of the Hunger Games and how his father and Casca Highbottom created them. It was apparently a drunk joke that was made but it turned into something much more sinister once it was written onto paper and turned in as an assignment to Dr. Gaul, one of the Head Gamemakers.
It had honestly horrified Soarynn to know that the reasoning behind twenty-four children being forced to fight to the death was due to a drunk joke but she kept those thoughts to herself. It's not like she could stop them now. Coriolanus didn't seem ecstatic about them either but as President of Panem, it was his job to see to it that they continued this pageantry.
Lucky him.
Soarynn slowly takes the file from Eudora, holding it at arm's length like it's a ticking time bomb, "I'll go give it to him," she finally says, accepting her fate. Eudora gives her a questionable look but nods, "We'll be right here dear."
"Tell Daddy we said hi," Celeste tells Soarynn who swallows and turns to walk back out of the dining room, a dark cloud looming over her once more.
She all but drags her feet down the long hallway that leads to his study, a hallway she normally skips down because it means getting to see Coriolanus. But not today.
She stops once she reaches the doors that lead to his study when she notices that they're not all the way closed. She can hear two muffled voices, male voices, one belongs to Coriolanus, and the other she can't quite place. It's terribly rude to eavesdrop but Soarynn can't help but lean in a little closer to peer inside of his study.
She can see Coriolanus sitting on the sofa by the fireplace, a glass of whiskey in his hand while he talks. She looks over at the other man and finds that it's Quintus Heavensbee, his most trusted advisor. It doesn't sound like they're talking about anything truly important, in fact, they're talking about women.
"...Perlina said it would be a nice trip but after what happened to you in Four, I just don't trust the Districts," Quintus says with a shake of his head, his back towards the doors. Coriolanus lets out a dry laugh, "I never trusted them to begin with. But after Four, the children will never go again." Soarynn agrees with him on that, the attack in District Four could've ended so badly for them. For her.
"They're leeches, filthy leeches that are desperate to get their hands on what matters most to you," Quintus tells him, "speaking of which, how are things with Soarynn?"
Her breath gets caught in her throat and she has to remind herself to breathe again while Coriolanus takes a sip of his drink, "Good, she's good, things are good. I'm taking her to dinner tonight."
Quintus nods and leans back in his chair, "I must say she looks nearly identical to Ceraphina, she could easily pass for her mother if I didn't know any better." Soarynn has to agree with that as well, she and Ceraphina share the same eye color and hair color, leading them to look like a mother-daughter duo. She certainly sees Ceraphina as her daughter, even if she shouldn't.
"Well she's more of a mother to her than Livia ever was," Coriolanus says, bitterness evident in his tone of voice, "and a better partner as well." Her heart flutters from the compliment, Soarynn has never been in a relationship before and she often wonders if she's doing enough. Coriolanus has always been one for words of praise but he could always just lie and be polite to protect her feelings.
"Could you see yourself marrying her?" Quintus asks and Soarynn nearly blacks out. It's as if the heavens above have answered her question! Now she just needs Coriolanus to answer the question and Coriolanus is the master at avoiding things he doesn't want to answer. He's an expert, in fact, diverting the topic by giving an answer completely unrelated to the question. Soarynn has called him out on it before and he's always grinned and claimed that it's a skill only the President can possess.
Coriolanus goes quiet, too quiet for her liking. Soarynn watches him think long and hard about that question, "Not tomorrow," Quintus adds, picking up on the lingering silence, "no one would blame you if you didn't want to remarry."
Coriolanus shakes his head, a determined look now on his face, "I could see myself marrying Soarynn," he answers confidently, "sooner rather than later if I'm being honest. Losing Livia taught me a valuable lesson, many lessons actually but it taught me that nothing is promised. If something were to happen to Soarynn and I missed my chance then I'd never forgive myself."
Soarynn turns around and lets out a silent scream of excitement before collecting herself and taking a few steps back as if she hasn't been listening to the conversation for the past five minutes. She raises her fist to knock on the doors and makes her presence known this time, "Coriolanus? I have something to give you from Eudora."
She listens to their conversation come to a halt and hears someone get up and shuffle towards the doors. Quintus is the one who opens them, greeting her with a kind smile, "Hello Soarynn, how are you today?" She returns his smile with one of her own, genuine this time now that she doesn't have that nagging thought in her head, "Hello Quintus, I'm absolutely wonderful."
He steps to the side so she can walk inside and she's met with a skeptical look from Coriolanus who remains seated on the sofa, "Really? Because when I saw you on the staircase you looked like you were about to be sick." Soartynn waves him off, crossing the room to hand him the file, "I'm perfectly fine," she tells him, "you shouldn't worry about me, darling." The random use of the petname brings a blush to his cheeks and Quintus chuckles, "It's the President's job to worry, isn't it Coriolanus?"
Coriolanus still seems to be in a confused daze but he quickly shakes it off, taking the file from her and adopting the more stern look she's used to seeing from him, "Yes, quite right. Thank you for bringing me the file Soarynn."
Soarynn nods and she can't help but keep going now that she doesn't have any existential dread weighing her down, "What were you two just talking about a moment ago?"
Both men answer her at the same time.
"Taxes."
"Trains."
Soarynn raises her eyebrows, looking back and forth as they clear their throats in an effort to look less guilty, "Taxes and trains? What a thrilling topic." Coriolanus quickly rises to his feet, setting down his glass and the file, both long forgotten, "Yes, it's riveting stuff darling but I think I hear the children calling for you and I have much to do before tonight." He rests a hand on her back and gently guides her past Quintus towards the doors.
Soarynn innocently looks up at him from over his shoulder, "I didn't hear the children."
"You might need to get your ears checked then. I'll see you tonight," he says, kissing her temple before he gently pushes her out into the hall and shuts the doors in her face.
Soarynn crosses her arms, getting her ears checked, please.
Why can't men ever just come out and say what they mean? And they say women are complicated creatures.
꧁ ꧂
Later that day, Soarynn finds herself wondering about something else, something less important.
What is she going to wear tonight?
No matter where they go or what they do, Coriolanus and Soarynn always dress up for the occasion. Soarynn has always enjoyed dressing up for herself and no one else but now that she's in a relationship, it's an added bonus to have a grown man drooling over her.
"Would you two like to help me choose my outfit for tonight?" She asks the girls while they have an early dinner. The girls both gasp, eager to participate in the adult activity of preparing for date night. If they had their way, they'd come with Soarynn and Coriolanus but he's remained very firm that going out on dates is a two-person job.
But that doesn't stop the girls from asking to come. So Soarynn has found that them helping her get ready makes their separation much easier. And although she'd never admit it, easier for her as well.
"Yes!" Ceraphina says, bouncing in her seat, "Can we put on your makeup too?" Makeup is a bit more risky since Soarynn has found out that the girls love to use a heavy hand when applying things such as blush. "Oh, I was thinking you two might help me pick out a bag too," she adds, earning her more excited gasps. Caspian who's sitting in her lap, rests a hand on her arm, "Momma stay."
Her smile falters at his request, maybe she should stay, she and Coriolanus just went out to dinner a few nights ago. But Eudora is quick to intervene, "I thought we might watch one of your favorite films tonight children." Caspian perks up when he hears that, he loves to watch films, especially ones that feature animals. Coriolanus is pretty strict about how much television the children can watch and only permits a certain amount of time per week that they can spend in front of the large screen.
A film is a special treat.
He looks back up at Soarynn, a change of heart, "Momma go."
Soarynn and Eudora laugh at the sudden switch and Soarynn presses a kiss to his head, "Eager to get rid of me hmm?"
"Eudora, can I ask you a question?" Ceraphina asks sweetly, batting her eyelashes which causes Eudora to raise an eyebrow. Ceraphina has a habit of asking the craziest questions at the worst times, it's truly a gift. "Yes, you may dear."
"Have you ever been in love?"
Eudora lets out another laugh, a dismissive one at that, and shakes her head, "I don't believe in relationships dear, they're far too complicated for a woman of my age and status to concern myself with."
Ceraphina frowns, slouching in her seat, "You never fell in love? Ever? Not even once?"
Eudora shakes her head, sighing, "No, well...there was that one time," she mumbles the last part. Soarynn and the children lean in, eager to hear about Eudora Trinket's one love. "Who was he?" Celeste asks, "Or she?"
Eudora looks up at the ceiling dramatically, as if reliving her last moments with her lover, "We were too different," she exclaims, "I was in love with schedules, planning, telling people what to do. And he..." She looks back down at the table, grabbing her napkin and dabbing at her eyes, "He was in love with the weather."
It takes them a full ten seconds to realize who she's talking about.
"Lucky?!" Soarynn asks, unable to believe that Eudora and Lucky have ever shared a single interest let alone a conversation. The girls look as surprised as she is, even Caspian seems to be in denial. Eudora shrugs, "I like a man with a mustache, what can I say? But we were too different, we had different passions and when two people are in love, that means that they must sometimes give up their passions for one another."
She has a valid point.
Coriolanus is passionate about being President, being a leader, a beacon of stability.
But what is Soarynn passionate about?
꧁ ꧂
Soarynn pokes at her pasta, pushing it around on the plate. It's quiet in the restaurant but that's because Coriolanus bought out the entire room so they could dine privately. A man of grand gestures.
"Are you not hungry?"
She looks up from her plate, finding Coriolanus eyeing her plate of pasta, "I am," she tells him, "I just can't stop thinking about what Eudora said earlier when we were all having dinner together."
Coriolanus takes a sip of his wine before asking, "What did she say at dinner?"
Soarynn sighs, she's sure he's already aware that Eudora was in love with Lucky Flickerman at one point so she chooses to leave that part out, "She was talking about passions and now I can't stop thinking about what my passion is." She pokes at her pasta some more before setting down her fork, "My pasta is probably cold anyway," she grumbles.
Coriolanus gives her a knowing look and waves over their waiter who appears at their table within seconds, "Could you reheat this for her please?" Coriolanus asks, handing over Soarynn's plate to the eager waiter who promises to bring back an entire new plate for her.
She bites her lip, "I'm sorry, I don't mean to act ungrateful. I just can't stop thinking about it." Coriolanus reaches his hand across the table and Soarynn takes it, watching his long fingers intertwine with her shorter ones. "I'd say you're acting preoccupied, not ungrateful," he argues, squeezing her hand, "and I think it's rather obvious what your passions are darling."
She looks up at him confusedly, "It is?"
He chuckles, "Yes, it is. You're so clearly passionate about helping others. You love to lift other people up, you love to connect with those around you, making them feel at ease."
Was it that obvious?
The waiter comes back with a steaming plate of pasta and Soarynn must admit, it looks much tastier when it hasn't been sitting in front of her for ten minutes, "Thank you," she says to the man.
"Of course, Ms. Nightingale."
Soarynn catches Coriolanus staring at her empty ring finger for only a moment before he lets go of her hand, "How did you even get on the topic of passions? Are the children already diving into these deep topics at such a young age?" Soarynn softly laughs and picks up her fork again, appetite regained, "No, Ceraphina asked Eudora if she's ever been in love before."
Coriolanus leans in, already hooked, "Has she?"
Soarynn nods, wrapping several strings of pasta around her fork, "She has."
"With who?"
Soarynn takes her time bringing the pasta to her mouth, watching Coriolanus eagerly await her answer while she slowly chews and swallows, "Lucky Flickerman," she finally says once her mouth isn't full and Coriolanus is taking another sip of his wine. He almost chokes on it, covering his mouth with his own napkin while he recovers and Soarynn giggles, "We didn't believe her either," Soarynn tells him, "but apparently, she has a thing for men with mustaches."
Coriolanus laughs, a real laugh, not a practiced one that he pulls out when they're in public. A laugh that she has been given the privilege of hearing. "I don't believe it," he says, shaking his head, "Eudora has never mentioned her and Lucky before and that's not something that just slips past me." Soarynn shrugs, she's sure that quite a few things manage to slip past Coriolanus unbeknownst to him and someone's dating history certainly qualifies.
"Would it have mattered?" She asks, curious as to how Eudora was even hired in the first place. Did Eudora work for the former President? Or do Presidents hire out their own staff once they're in office?
Coriolanus gives her a confused look and she elaborates, "If you knew that she and Lucky had a former relationship would it have affected you hiring her? I know you can see everyone's files but I highly doubt that past relationships are listed."
"It wouldn't have mattered," he answers, setting down his glass of wine, "and the only information I can see about past relationships is if someone has been divorced or not." Her eyes grow bigger at the mention of divorce, something that's practically unheard of in the elite circles. Divorce is a one-way ticket to being shunned by high society. Unless there's a case of abuse or infidelity, couples stay together, happy or not.
Or your spouse can succumb to a sudden deadly illness like Livia and then you'll end up like Coriolanus.
Those thoughts bring her back to the idea of marriage and children and she just can't help herself from asking the next question, "Do you want children?"
Coriolanus freezes, the room feels much quieter now, much colder and Soarynn's worried that she's truly crossed the line this time. He clears his throat, "I would argue that I already have three perfect children," he tells her slowly. Soarynn must look crazy but she has to know if he wants children with her.
"I meant...I meant with me," she says exasperatedly, grabbing her napkin and twisting it in her hands, "if we were to get married tomorrow then would you want to have children with me?"
His face remains neutral, emotionless which means he's thinking hard about her question. Soarynn has gotten better at reading his facial expressions but he's always been so good at guarding them.
"I think it's expected for any wife to bear the children her husband gifts her," he says, scratching the back of his neck, "as for you, I would expect no less. Children are our legacy, you are your family's legacy and I am mine."
He's right, she's the last Nightingale which is a bit of a terrifying thought if she's being completely honest. She's all alone in this world, no wonder people have lots of children. "I don't mean to be so prying," she tells him, brushing her hair behind her ears nervously, "I just started thinking about it and now I can't stop."
His face softens, showing his true colors and how much he cares for her, "Darling, you could've avoided all of this if you just asked me sooner, it's not a prying thing to ask the man you're courting."
He's right. Soarynn didn't know why she was so worried when it was that easy. She nods, "I know, I just don't want to be another thing for you to worry about." Coriolanus chuckles softly, reaching back across the table and Soarynn gladly takes his hand in hers, "I worry about you regardless," he tells her, "and should we get married and have more children, I'll worry about them as well."
So he does want to marry her!
Hearing it directly instead of eavesdropping feels like a weight has been lifted off of her chest. Soarynn gives him a smile, as genuine as it gets, and squeezes his hand, "I'll hold you to that."
꧁ ꧂
꧁ Three Months Later ꧂
"And what is this for again?" Soarynn asks, looking down at an ornate vision board for an event Eudora is putting together. The older woman waves her off as if this whole thing is insignificant despite how much she's been stressing over it, "It's for after the Hunger Games dear, Corioalnus wants to throw a little party to celebrate."
Soarynn frowns, the Snows have been throwing more parties since she started working for them but this seems...odd. "Aren't we already throwing a party the day of the Reaping?"
Eudora shrugs, flipping through more pages of her binder, "The more the merrier dear, now which tablecloths do you like, the cream or the pearl?" Soarynn compares the two swatches of white fabric, nearly identical and yet too different to the trained eye. Coriolanus would simply pick the first one and move on from there but being a woman means that Soarynn actually appreciates these things.
She has a good eye for decorations and notices the smallest details.
"That's why I have you darling," he'd say whenever she'd point something out that he would've never noticed.
"This seems like a lot of white for a party celebrating the Hunger Games," she murmurs, feeling that the colors should be blood-red, not pretty white shades. "Nonsense, it's a clean slate," Eudora insists, holding up the swatches to the light, "white represents becoming new. We'll have a new Victor on our hands won't we?"
"I suppose," Soarynn replies, pointing at the cream-colored swatch, "and I like the cream one the best."
"I was thinking the same thing."
Both women smile at each other, Soarynn has found a good friend in Eudora Trinket, as well as some sort of a mother figure as well. Eudora is a beacon of reassurance, as long as she's around, they can't mess anything up.
Celeste comes running into the sitting room a second later, entirely out of breath and in a rush as she slowly comes to a stop. Soarynn and Eudora give her a glance before turning back to their work, looking at different centerpieces now that the tablecloths have been selected. Celeste tugs on Soarynn's dress and she looks down at the child, "Yes sweetheart?"
"The painting is gone," Celeste says, her blue eyes filled with vigor and conviction.
Soarynn frowns, glancing at Eudora who looks as lost as she is, "The patining?" She repeats, hoping for some clarification. Celeste nods, swaying back and forth on her heels, "Mhm, it's gone."
Without any further explanation, she runs back out of the room, leaving Soarynn and Eudora very confused as to what all of that was about. "Children are always so vague," Eudora says, clearly not as bothered by Celeste's strange behavior as Soarynn is, "Yes, yes they are," Soarynn agrees.
Forty-five minutes later, a party has been planned and a color scheme decided on. Soarynn and Eudora go their separate ways, Soarynn to the front of the house to get the children from Ceraphina's piano lesson, and Eudora to the kitchen to prepare the kitchen staff for the upcoming parties and their menus.
As Soarynn walks through the great hall, she notices something out of the corner of her eye.
Something missing.
The painting.
It's pretty fucking hard to miss too. What used to be a giant painting of the entire Snow family is now gone, with only a bare wall to show that there was once a large object taking up its space. Soarynn stops dead in her tracks, looking around to see if perhaps it was taken down for cleaning purposes but she finds no trace of it anywhere. It's pretty much impossible to hide something of that size but she's hoping it might be hiding under a rug or a table.
It was a beautiful painting in Soarynn's opinion. The children were much younger than they are now, and Livia was well and alive. But now it's gone. And it's left a sinking feeling in her stomach.
Why would Coriolanus have it removed?
Soarynn shakes her head in an effort to shake away those thoughts, she can no longer hear the incorrect piano keys being played so that means Ceraphina's lesson has come to a close. She'll have to ask Coriolanus about it later.
꧁ ꧂
Soarynn drags her fingers along the bathwater's surface, popping a few bubbles in the process.
Bathtime is often when she hits a mental wall, she's tired and ready for the day to end even if the children insist that they can easily stay up for another six hours.
She watches Celeste play with her designated "bath time mermaids" which are really just dolls that she plays with in the tub, and a soft smile graces her lips. She loves this little girl so much.
"The painting is gone," she says, catching Celeste off guard but she quickly recovers and her eyes are as wide as they've ever been, "you were right."
Celeste quickly nods, grabbing the edge of the tub, "You saw it?" She asks, her voice barely a whisper even though it's just the two of them in the bathroom right now. Soarynn hums, reaching out to brush her curls off of her forehead, "I did. Although I don't know why it was removed." She can only imagine why, nothing was wrong with the painting and how the hallway just looks empty without it.
Celeste smiles, nearly bouncing out of the tub which causes some water to splash onto the floor, "It means something's gonna happen Soarynn!"
Soarynn does not share Celeste's enthusiasm, "Like what?"
Celeste shrugs, settling back down in the tub, "I don't know," she admits, still grinning ear to ear, "but it's gotta mean something right?"
Soarnyn purses her lips while she thinks about the possibilities and a very specific one crosses her mind but she doesn't dare speak it into existence.
"I suppose it does," is all she replies with, grabbing the shampoo, "now let's wash your hair darling."
꧁ ꧂
After putting all three children to bed, Soarynn finds herself strolling the halls of the President's Mansion. She knows the place like the back of her hand now that she lives here although the children always know the best places to hide when they play hide-and-seek. She passes the massive doors that lead to the ballroom and sees several Avoxes mopping and floors, preparing for the parties they'll be hosting for the upcoming Hunger Games.
She's almost been here for a year and yet it feels like ten.
Soarynn sighs, she ought to take a walk outside since Coriolanus won't be getting home until late since he's at dinner. She'll go upstairs and get her coat.
She quietly climbs up the stairs and comes across Petunia lying in the middle of the hallway, her tail flicking back and forth while she watches Soarynn approach her, "Hello Petunia," she greets the feline who purrs in response and rolls onto her back. Soarynn chuckles, crouching down to rub her soft belly, "Have any more paintings gone missing or am I slowly losing it?" She asks, more to herself than to the cat.
Coriolanus had that painting removed on purpose. To send a message.
But what message is he trying to convey?
Soarynn stands back up, Petunia following her to the bedroom that is now as good as hers ever since Coriolanus had her move in with him. On the same day that Soarynn was spiraling about having children with Coriolanus, she had witnessed several boxes being moved in and out of his bedroom. She hadn't really paid it any mind since her mind was very preoccupied at the moment but after they returned home from dinner that night, she discovered that he had removed all of Livia's clothing and brought in Soarynn's.
It had rendered her speechless. She was more than used to going to her room whenever she was in need of clothes so to have him remove his late wife's clothing without her even mentioning it left her feeling slightly perturbed. Sure it was a sign of moving forward from her death but it was still quite a shock.
Now she fully lived in his room. She got dressed in his room, showered in his room, and slept in his room. Things were very official.
But she would be lying if she said that having a 'his and hers' closet didn't make her a little bit giddy. His side was filled with expensive tailored suits whereas her side was filled with dresses, skirts, blouses, pants, and lots of shoes. Coriolanus often liked to surprise her with a new handbag or pair of shoes. He'd leave it on the large table they had in the middle of the walk-in closet, next to the vase of fresh roses that always sat in the center.
But as she walks into the bedroom, she feels as if the pieces are slowly falling together.
The closet, the painting, the all-white color scheme for this Hunger Games party suddenly popping up on the schedule, the schedule that Eudora briefed her on at the beginning of June that she swore would not change.
Coriolanus is going to propose to her.
Soarynn feels as if the floor has been pulled out from under her.
She needs to get out, go for a walk, clear her head.
She hurries into the closet and snatches the first coat she sees and throws it on, striding out into the bedroom once again, feeling hot and flushed. Petunia meows for her attention but Soarynn's mind is so, so far away from here right now. "I'll be back soon," she mutters, pulling open the doors and slipping into the hallway. She makes her way downstairs and towards the sitting room that Eudora frequents the most. Sure enough, she's sitting at the coffee table with several folders spread out in front of her.
Soarynn clears her throat, causing Eudora to jump, "Oh! Soarynn, I thought you'd be in bed by now." Soarynn shook her head, she couldn't sleep right now if she tried. "I um, I need to run a quick errand," she tells Eudora, her voice low and hushed even though they're the only ones in the room right now, "I'll be back soon."
Eudora looks at her current attire and Soarynn can see a few questions popping up in her head right now but she asks none, "Alright dear, I'll listen out for the children." Soarynn forces a polite smile onto her lips, "Thank you, I shouldn't be too long."
Soarynn goes to the side entrance of the house where a car with a driver is always waiting, "The Capitol Cemetary please," she says to the driver as she slips into the car.
The drive is short but her mind is buzzing the entire time.
When will he propose? Do the children know?
Eudora certainly does if she's planning the damn thing. Or at least some sort of party to celebrate their engagement.
She wonders what Coriolanus is doing right now, if he's thinking of her the way she's thinking of him. She thinks of him constantly now that they're officially together but she often wonders if he does the same thing. He says he does, and he also says that the dinners he attends are very boring, filled with old men who have great influence in Panem. He says he'll introduce her to them at the Reaping party.
She can't wait.
The car slowly rolls up to the gates of the cemetery and she begins to worry when she sees that they're closed. Which is perfectly understandable considering the time of day. Ten o'clock at night.
A Peacekeeper standing by the gates approaches the car and Soaeynn can only hear a muffled conversation between him and her driver. The Peacekeeper walks to her window, peering through the tinted glass and Soarynn rolls it down, flashing him her prettiest smile, "I'm so sorry for the inconvenience," she says sweetly, "it'll only be a moment." The Peacekeeper, a man who looks to be about the same age as her swallows down a lump in his throat, "Of course ma'am."
That's all it takes for her to gain entry.
The driver rolls the partition down, looking at her through the rearview mirror, "Where to Ms. Nightingale?"
She supposes it would look less suspicious if she went to her own parent's graves, "The West Side please." It's a short drive to that side of the Cemetery and Soarynn can feel her heart pounding. If this is all going to happen, then she has to make peace with her conscious, and those who came before her.
The driver opens the door, offering her a gloved hand as she steps out, "Thank you," she says to the man, "I won't be long."
He eyes her warily, "I could accompany you if you'd like Ms. Nightingale." That just won't do. She knows he means well but Soarynn has a plan and she's sticking to it. "No need to worry about me," she assures him, "I'll be back soon." The driver doesn't look too convinced but he doesn't push it and gets back into the car. Soarynn disappears down the tree-lined path toward the other side of the Cemetery, walking past her parent's graves at a swift pace.
She'll pay them a visit later.
She finally sets her sights on what she came here for.
Livia Snow's grave.
It's just her luck that the groundskeeper is walking out of the mausoleum. Coriolanus told her that he had people clean it every week to keep it in perfect condition. Although they never truly loved each other, Livia was the mother of his children, and he'd be a fool to disrespect the dead.
Soarynn quietly approaches the large stone building, watching the groundskeeper sweep the pathway leading up to the doors that she's never entered. He perks up when he notices her, wrapped in her coat, probably a manic look in her eyes as well. "Good...good evening Ms. Nightingale," the older man says, bowing his head. Ever since she started courting Coriolanus, Soarynn's name has become well-known in the Capitol.
She's reached celebrity status and she doesn't always know how to feel about it. But tonight, she'll use it to her advantage.
"Good evening," she replies, "I don't mean to be a bother, but I was hoping to maybe have a moment alone," she nods towards the mausoleum and his eyes follow her gaze. "Oh, oh I see. The Snows are quite particular about who's allowed inside ma'am," he tells her, "only immediate family is allowed."
Soarynn wants to tell him that the entire reason she's here in the first place is because she's about to become immediate family but she withholds that information, "I understand, I'll let Coriolanus know that I wasn't allowed inside," she says with a feigned disappointed sigh. The man quickly perks up at the mention of the President, "Well you might as well go in," he says, digging into his pockets and pulling out a ring of keys, "I wouldn't want to let President Snow down."
Neither would I, she thinks to herself while he unlocks the doors that open with a heavy groan. She slowly steps inside, it's quite dark except for the small lantern above her. Soarynn sets her eyes on the casket at the very back of the building, made of dark wood with roses engraved into it. Her breaths grow shaky as she walks further inside, looking around at all the things that have been left inside as tribute.
There's a vase of roses, and she also sees several cards with children's handwriting and even a stuffed bear sitting against the steps leading up to Livia's casket. Soarynn stops when her heels touch the first step and she crouches down to pick up one of the cards. From what she can tell, it's Ceraphina's handwriting. There's a drawing on the front of the card of the entire family, it's so sweet and heartbreaking at the same time. Soarynn opens the card and her eyes immediately fill with tears.
'I miss you Mommy'
Soarynn carefully sets the card back down and makes her way up the three marble steps, resting her hand on the smooth wooden top of the casket. If she were to push it off, she'd come face-to-face with Livia Snow. Windows let in the pale moonlight and Soarynn notices a framed photograph on the windowsill directly in front of the casket, a photograph of Livia and Coriolanus on their wedding day. Neither of them is smiling but it reminds Soarynn why she came here in the first place.
"I came here...I came here to talk to you," she says quietly, "I've been taking care of your children for quite some time now and there's not a day that goes by where they don't think of you."
Soarynn tries to blink away the tears but it's no use and they spill down her cheeks, "I love Coriolanus, I love him very much and I think he's going to ask me to marry him but I couldn't in good consciousness accept his proposal without coming to you first and telling you that I'll take care of your children. I'll love them like my own and protect them with my every being. And I'll...I'll make a good man out of him, out of Coriolanus. He's trying to be better, I can see it in the way he treats those around him, how he is with the children."
Is Livia Snow scowling down at her? Does she think of Soarynn as some lovesick fool? Or does she want Coriolanus to be happy again?
"I'll make him happy," she whispers, "and make sure that your children remain happy. No harm will befall them as long as I'm around, I promise."
Soarynn stands there for a few more minutes, sniffling while feeling sorry for herself. She highly doubts that Livia ever cried about an upcoming proposal but she lived such a different life than Soarynn, she married an entirely different man.
Soarynn finally gathers herself, wiping her tears and regaining her composure. "We will always keep you in our memories," she whispers before turning to walk down the steps.
Her heels echo on the marble floors and she feels a wave of relief wash over her when she steps out into the summer night. The groundskeeper gives her a curious look, "All is well Ms. Nightingale?"
Soarynn nods, already feeling much better now that she did what needed to be done, "All is well. Thank you for letting me visit."
꧁ ꧂
Soarynn stops at her parent's graves before leaving. Even in death, they're still together, and that brings her comfort knowing that not even death can keep love apart.
"It's been a while," she says, dusting off any leaves from the tops of their tombstones, "but so much has happened. I met someone, he makes me happy. He has three children, they're as sweet as can be. I think I'm going to marry him."
Saying those words out loud makes it feel very real all of a sudden.
After her father died, Soarynn learned that acceptance was the hardest part of grief. Accepting that nothing could be done differently was a hard thing to do, but it was all one could do.
"When I come back I'll bring my children," she tells her parents, kissing the tips of her fingers and touching both of their tombstones.
She means it too. She'll be back.
꧁ ꧂
The President's Mansion is silent when Soarynn returns.
Another car was already parked at the side entrance which means Coriolanus is already home. Soarynn makes her way upstairs, peeking into the children's bedrooms once more to make sure they're asleep. Caspian is curled up in his bed, Lenny wrapped in a tight grip as if he might try to slip away. The girls are both sound asleep under the canopy bed, their new nightlight shining stars onto the ceiling for them while they dream sweet dreams.
Soarynn quietly closes the doors with a soft smile on her face, a day will come when they don't sleep in the same room anymore or require bedtime stories and she's not sure that she's ready for that day yet.
When Soarynn walks into her own bedroom she finds Petunia sitting at the foot of the bed, a black sock in her mouth which means she stole it from Coriolanus. He hadn't been exactly thrilled when Petunia started sleeping in their room but Soarynn argued that if the cat couldn't stay, then neither could she.
The two had since grown a small rivalry between each other. Petunia would steal his socks and neckties and Coriolanus would steal Soarynn and her attention that was usually given to Petunia.
Heaven forbid they get a dog.
Soarynn chuckles softly as she approaches Petunia and gently reaches out to pull the sock from her mouth, “You have more toys than you know what to do with and yet you insist on taking Coryo’s socks,” Soarynn says with a shake of her head.
Petunia doesn’t seem bothered by this issue that has constantly been brought up since she was moved to this bedroom but she does let go of the sock which is progress. Sometimes it’s a bit of a battle to get her to release the socks and it often ends in both parties feeling very offended.
Soarynn doesn’t hear the shower running which means Coriolanus is probably finishing up, ready for bed which sounds wonderful right now. All she wants to do is curl up in bed with the man she's been falling in love with over the past few months.
What could be better than that?
She expects to find him hunched over the sink when she walks into the bathroom, brushing his teeth or washing his face. Although Coriolanus is as masculine as they come, he's quite rigorous with his nightly routines, ensuring that his skin is properly taken care of.
But the bathroom is empty.
The closet doors are open and Soarynn slowly approaches them, slightly stunned to find Coriolanus sitting on the bench they have in the closet right in front of the of the table. It's usually used for Soarynn to sit on when she puts her shoes on in the morning but today it's being used by Coriolanus who's holding a single white rose in his hand. Soarynn glances at the table and finds a whole bouquet sitting there for her accompanied by a card.
She didn't even notice the gift when she came to get her coat.
Coriolanus has already shed his outer layers, leaving him in a white button-up shirt and black pants which he manages to look like peak fashion. He finally looks up at her and Soarynn feels caught even though she's done nothing wrong. He looks tired, he looks like he expected her to be waiting for him when he got back and she usually is.
But not tonight. The roles have been reversed.
"Hi," she says softly, "how was dinner?"
From what Coriolanus has told her, the dinners he attends are often business-related and very boring. She still asks about them even though he rarely goes into detail about what was discussed. He gives her a look, a condescending, sharp look as if she's greatly disappointed him, "Dinner was good," he answers curtly, twisting the rose in between his fingers, "I kept thinking about coming home to you, so imagine my surprise when Eudora said that you stepped out."
Soarynn feels frozen, she feels caught, like she's done something wrong even though she hasn't. If only he knew what it's been like to live in her mind the past few hours.
"I just had to go do something," she starts but he holds his hand up, stopping her, silencing her, "You just had to go do something at ten o'clock at night?" He stands up slowly, letting the rose fall onto the floor and he takes a step towards her, Soarynn has always admired how big Coriolanus is but right now he's damn near frightening. He looms over her and looks down at her, his jaw tightening and his muscles tense, "Tell me Soarynn, do you take me for a fool?"
Soarynn is speechless. He hasn't even heard her out and he's already acting accusatory, "I don't take you for much of anything right now," she answers truthfully and it does nothing but upset him further but they can both be upset together as far as she's concerned.
"I don't speak about Livia often but she'd nev-"
Soarynn is turning on her heel before he can even finish that sentence before he can finish comparing her to his dead wife, "Well I'm not Livia," she calls back from the bathroom, "and I'm not running around behind your back being unfaithful either even though you certainly seem to have made up your mind already as to what I was doing before I got back." She watches him emerge from the closet through the mirror's reflection, he looks upset that she left him and more upset that he came home and she wasn't here to greet him.
But Soarynn is more than upset. She's pissed.
She finally turns back around to face him, some fire has been lit inside of her since visiting Livia's grave and it's about time she set some rules around here if she's going to marry this man who drives her mad. "And I will not tolerate you walking all over me," she tells him matter-of-factly, taking slow steps towards him, "I will not allow you to accuse me of being unfaithful when I have been nothing of the sort. Or do you want to revisit the last time you accused me of such things?" She asks, tilting her head up at him while they both remember how he fired her without so much as hearing her out after Festus came onto her.
A painful memory for both of them but for very different reasons.
Coriolanus is on the losing side of this battle and he's slowly realizing it but he's stubborn and arrogant at times so he won't just back down. He's not built like that, wasn't raised like that.
"Then where were you?" He asks, his hand coming up to grip her jaw, forcing her to maintain eye contact with him. Soarynn gives him a defiant look, "I was paying my respects," she tells him, "at the Cemetery." A confused look washes over his face, she's sure that he imagined the worst, her tangled up in bed with another man. Not running around the Cemetery in the middle of the night.
"The Cemetery," he repeats but this time there's no bitterness in his tone, no venom or malice. Just confusion. Soarynn nods to the best of her ability with him holding her face in his large hand, "It was long overdue and I needed to make peace with some things before I..." Her voice trails off because she can't tell him that she knows, that she's put the pieces together, "Before I fully committed myself to you," she finishes.
There, that wasn't so hard.
Coriolanus still looks confused, vexed by her wording and Soarynn places a hand on his chest, "You can ask my driver if you want," she says slowly, "he'll tell you the same thing I did."
That jolts Coriolanus out of his confusion and he clears his throat, quickly shaking his head and releasing her jaw, "I believe you," he tells her, "and you're right, you're nothing like Livia and I would do well to remember that."
Soarynn hums in agreement, she knows it'll take him some time to unlearn old habits but she's more than willing to be a patient teacher, "Yes you would. I much prefer us when we don't argue." Coriolanus lets out a breathy laugh, carding his fingers through his messy curls, unruly after a long day of work, "I do as well," he admits, "I was just, I expected you to be here when I got back so when you weren't I..."
"You thought the worst," Soarynn finishes for him, slipping her hand into his, intertwining their fingers, "and I understand why you would start to worry but in the future, talk to me before accusing me alright?"
A remorseful look grows across his handsome features, he looks so very sorry for how he just treated her, "I will, and I'm sorry," he tells her, bringing their intertwined hands up to his mouth so he can kiss the back of her hand, "I trust you Soarynn. I don't want you to think that I don't."
Soarynn could always chew him out just a little longer, just for the fun of it but she's not a masochist. And she doesn't enjoy seeing others at their lowest. "I trust you too," she says, pushing herself to her toes to press a kiss to his cheek which feels a bit rough, "and I think you need to shave."
They both laugh at her comment, Coriolanus always shaves his face at night and Soarynn appreciates a clean-shaven face compared to a rough one. The girls do as well, whenever they give Coriolanus a kiss on the cheek they make sure to let him know if he needs to grab a fresh razor blade.
"Then why don't you help me," he offers, pulling them towards the counter.
Soarynn can't hide her look of surprise, she's seen him shave before but she's never helped him do it, only watched while she did her own thing. "Are you sure?" She asks while he pulls open one of the drawers on his side of the counter, she wouldn't want to accidentally cut his handsome face.
"Of course," he says, brandishing a razor along with a bottle of what must be shaving cream, "I trust you."
Soarynn's not sure that she trusts herself with a job like this but she still shrugs off her coat and slips out of her heels, leaving her in the dress she wore today.
She leans against the counter, admiring their shared bathroom space. Before she moved in with him, this bathroom was sparse. The countertops had nothing on them aside from a bottle of cologne or a box of tissues. Now that Soarynn lives here, there are lots of feminine products for her face and hair. She has a small makeup organizer that sits on top of the counter, it has roses painted on the side of it and it holds her favorite makeup products. There's also a photo of Soarynn with the children from one of their many visits to the museum.
She likes to look at it while she does her hair. The bathroom is huge to put it plainly and Soarynn has more than enough to fill it up. There's also a built-in vanity by the shower where she often does her makeup if she doesn't feel like standing at the counter. A small vase of roses sits on the vanity counter, always fresh from Coriolanus who insists that she's as pretty as a rose.
"If I nick you then you'll only have yourself to blame," she tells him as he comes over to her side of the counter with his tools in hand. Coriolanus shrugs, "That's a risk I'm willing to take if it means you'll kiss me on the cheek more often, now hop onto the counter darling."
Soarynn eyes the counter warily, she's never sat on it before and she doesn't doubt its ability to hold her up but she does doubt her ability to keep her dress from getting shaving cream on it. "Let me take my dress off first," she murmurs, reaching behind her to pull down the zipper. She slips out of her dress without even thinking about how sensual it might look to Coriolanus who is a man who often thinks with what's between his legs rather than his head.
In only her bralette and underwear, Soarynn hops onto the counter, her legs dangling off the edge, "Where do I start?" She asks, ignoring Coriolanus and his slacked jaw while he shamelessly eyes her almost naked body, "I don't think you're finished," he teases, going to pull the strap to her bralette off of her shoulder but Soarynn slaps his hand away, "Behave yourself," she chides, "and hand me the razor."
Coriolanus does as he's told but begins unbuttoning his shirt, baring his chest to her which does unspeakable things to the mind that Soarynn desperately tries to keep pure. He smirks at how he's affected her by simply taking off his shirt and leans down to press a kiss to her lips, "Now we're even," he murmurs while kissing her. Soarynn sighs into the kiss, shaving long forgotten once his hands wrap around her waist, pulling her flush against him. Even on the counter she's still shorter than him but she doesn't mind, especially when his hands slide down to her ass, making her whimper, "We need to focus," she says between kisses.
Coriolanus groans when her own hands come to rest on his belt, tugging at the buckle, "Focus on what?" Soarynn giggles into the kiss, over the past few months they've gotten to know every inch of each other, including their most intimate areas. Coriolanus is a man who gets off on watching his partner being pleasured which is great for Soarynn who loves when he goes down on her. He'll often wake her up by slipping under the covers and prying her legs open, pleasuring her until she cums.
"On shaving," she reminds him, finally getting his belt unbuckled and tossing it onto the floor. When it comes to shaving, both of them run a tight ship. Soarynn has always preferred to be as hairless as possible but she was pleasantly surprised when she found that Coriolanus felt the same way about himself. There was just something about a man who wasn't afraid to shave.
Her hand slips under the waistband of his pants and her fingers graze over the growing boner straining in his boxers, feeling his shudder against his touch, "You know," she says, "it's a shame that we're so traditional, waiting for marriage and all that." She palms him with her hand and he gasps into the kiss, "Yes," he grits out, "it's a real shame."
Soarynn would be lying if she said that she hadn't thought about it before, thought about Coriolanus fully taking her and making her his. But all good things come to those who wait. And Soarynn can be very patient.
꧁ ꧂
It amazes Soarynn how two people can go from being super sexual to tenderly intimate within a matter of minutes.
With the warm shower water running over her skin, she feels perfectly content with his large hands on her hips, his lips gently kissing up and down her neck while they shower off their sexual encounter from minutes before. She lets out a content sigh when his hand lays flat against her stomach and imagines what it would be like to carry a child for him, to have a baby bump and feel their child kicking against his hand.
"What're you thinking about?"
Soarynn opens her eyes, remembering where she is and who she's with, a man who is not yet her husband. "The future," she says, not entirely a lie. She's been thinking about the future a lot lately, what it holds for her, for the family that might be hers someday.
Coriolanus kisses the back of her shoulder before gently spinning her around so that the warm water runs down her back now, "The future hmm? What about the future?" Her breath catches in her throat, it makes her nervous to speak it out loud because then it might not come true.
"I just feel as though something wonderful might happen," she says, lifting her feet off the ground when he wraps his arms around her waist, spinning them around because he knows how much she loves it. His eyes twinkle with amusement and adoration, "Would it be so bad if something wonderful did happen?"
Soarynn wonders if Coriolanus can feel how fast her heart is beating from his question. They're literally chest to chest tight now, nothing between them, "No," she answers softly, "I'd like it very much for something wonderful to happen to us."
He smiles at her use of the word 'us' something she's been doing more often whether she realizes it or not. It's hard not to when she already sees them as an inseparable pair, especially with the children being so on board with their relationship.
"Me too."
She bites her bottom lip, debating on whether or not she should utter those three words that she's never said before in this context.
But after today, after their honesty and her visit to the Cemetery, she feels brave enough to say it.
"I love you."
Coriolanus goes through a range of emotions in about five seconds. From surprise to bewilderment to realization and back to adoration all within the blink of an eye. She wonders if she said it too soon, if she should quickly add that she was joking, just testing the waters.
One of his hands comes up to gently hold her face, holding her as if she's made of priceless glass, so fragile and easy to break. She used to be like that, but not anymore. She's stronger now, better, more determined.
"I love you too."
Soarynn breaks into the biggest smile she's ever worn. She's never felt this way about someone before and she doesn't think Coriolanus has either. They're still learning, still growing as people, as individuals. But she's happy to grow with him, safely by his side, loved and cherished.
Soarynn knows a lot of things but she knows one thing for absolute certain.
She's going to marry this man.
| Part 11. |
| tumblr oneshot/drabble |
꧁|taglist:
@lovelylove268 @strawberriicakes @kickmybark @villiansarehottest @wonderlandbound111 @melodyoflovee @thevoicesinmyprettylittlehead
|꧂
#coriolanus snow#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#coriolanus fanfiction#the hunger games#ao3 fanfic#hunger games#soarynn snow#slaymitchabernathy#wattpad#stay with me always#coriolanus x oc#coriolanus imagine#coriolanus fic#coriolanus smut#original character#ceraphina snow#celeste snow#caspian snow#coriolanus oneshot#oneshot#soarynn nightingale#coriolanus x soarynn#ao3#staywithmealways#eudora trinket#the nanny#petuniasupremacy#possesive coriolanus#presidentssnow#coriolanus x original character
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A JINX ARC 3 CHARACTER STUDY
Arcane act 3 served as a brutal reminder to just how impactful Isha was to Jinx mental health
Season 2 starts after Jinx just killed Silco and attached the leadership of Piltover. We see her drifting, lost, till she finds Isha. Or rather, till Isha drops on her.
And then we see a visibly lighter Jinx. She jokes around, she's more sarcastic and she seems to be lighter. She didn't even want to join the Piltover/Zaun conflict. She was, maybe, content. To just live with Isha in that little hideout, playing monster Bash with Stink Maw and the others. And when she got back into fighting, she only did it because Isha was captured.
But then Isha died and when we see Jinx in the final arc, we see probably the quietest version of the character we've ever seen. Jinx has looked angry, sad, happy and even crazy, but for the first time, we saw Jinx tired. Not the physical tired, but the mental tired. She didn't even try to escape from Cait's officers and let herself be arrested after making sure Vi was okay.
She feels like she is truly a Jinx. First, in season one her bomb caused the deaths and her eventual separation from Vi. Then she killed Silco. And then Isha, sweet Isha who loved and admired her no matter her crimes, died right in front of her.
Why did Isha's death have that much impact? What was it about Isha?
There's many reasons.
Vander and Silco had already happened by then. She never truly recovered from those losses. In Zaun, there really is no time for grief, just survival. And Jinx was a bottled up character filled with grief. Grief over a childhood lost due to her attempt to help. And then the grief over the man who took her in after that, and who died at her hand. Isha was just the straw that broke the camel's back.
Or maybe it was because Isha loved her even when she became Jinx. Her childhood friends and family loved powder. Silco loved Jinx, yes. But Silco also used Jinx in his business.
But Isha? Isha looked at Jinx, what she saw as the worst version of herself, and loved her unapologetically. Admired her, modelled herself after her and followed her everywhere. That was something she never had. And then she tried so hard, so so hard to keep that feeling, only to lose it.
Isha brought life to jinx. Don't get me wrong, Jinx was always alive. But Isha brought something Jinx didn't feel in so long. Contentment. Jinx was content at that hideout with just Isha. Jinx was never the type of character to stay in one place, even when she was powder. She had a restless soul and it showed in how she was everywhere as powder and Jinx. But with Isha, she was content to just stay in the hideout. And even when it came to leaving that safe space, she only did it for one person. Isha.
She took the death of Isha so hard, she tried killing herself. And even at the end, that loss, that sense of being tired, still never left her.
Honestly I was not surprised when she let go of Vi's glove. She had already said her goodbyes in that prison. When she told Vi "you don't need to feel guilty about being happy", she had said her goodbye. She was all done with it all. She was tired. And Isha's death was the tipping point. Even there, looking at her sister, her one family left, she was still so done. So so tired of losing everyone and thinking it was her fault. She said earlier in the season that everyone that gets close to her dies. And she looked at the one last person that was close to her, Vi. She probably remembered everyone that was close to her that she lost. Their parents. Vander. Silco. Her childhood friends. And the most recent and the one that hurt the most, Isha. She thought of them, and looked at her only sister. The only person she loved who was still alive and thought, maybe if I'm gone, she could be happy. And she went into the dark unknown.
That shows that despite everything she had been through, Jinx still could love, in her own way. She was not a perfect character. She made mistakes, was impulsive, sometimes cruel and even violent. But she was the a product of her environment. Zaun was fucked and so kept on producing fucked up children growing into that fucked up society and becoming fucked up teenagers and adults who eventually gave birth to kids and the whole cycle repeats itself.
Maybe Jinx is still alive. Maybe she's dead
But there's one thing that's for sure
Jinx is done with Piltover and Zaun. There's nothing left for here there but voices and ghosts and the one sister who she has said her goodbyes to.
It's time for Jinx and Powder to rest
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Howdy, I was wondering if you could do an eland x reader where you could do headcanons of them being parent If that's okay with you anyways have a lovely day
Hi there, thank you so much for sending! Love this cute idea. This ended up being about both pregnancy and parenthood, hope you don't mind! I got carried away lol.
It's not long after you and Eiland get married that you become pregnant. You two weren't really trying to prevent it from happening, totally open to the idea of raising a little one with such a beautiful community behind you and in such a beautiful place.
Elsie is the first one to realize that you were pregnant. Call it a sixth sense, but she pulls you aside after dinner at the manor one night and tells you that you have a special glow about you.
A few days later, Eiland wakes up to see you sick in the restroom and you go to Valen together to take a test.
When you two get the wonderful news, Eiland is nearly in tears and Valen has to hand him some tissues as he brings you into the deepest hug in the middle of the doctor's office.
Wanting to play it safe, you two only tell the immediate family at first. Adeline nearly screams with joy, while Elsie is happy but totally unsurprised.
The Baron and Baroness come all the way from the Capital to celebrate a new heir coming to the family. They shower you with lavish gifts and offer anything you could possibly want or need that wouldn't be readily available in Mistria.
They also offer to take you to a more well-known doctor in the Capital for your checkups, but you assure them that you have full confidence in Valen and know how much she cares about you, Eiland, and the little one.
Eiland dotes on you hand and foot during the pregnancy. He doesn't let you lift a finger, and is always concerned about your comfort. He'll spend any amount of money to make sure you have everything you need.
If he could, he'd keep you from working on the farm altogether and pay someone to help, but you insist that the exercise is good for you and the baby.
Eiland is so eager to impart all of his knowledge onto his child. He starts early by reading archeology books to the baby before you've even given birth. You don't mind, as it helps you fall asleep!
Eiland is incredibly compassionate to your pain as you carry the pregnancy. He'll massage your feet or rub oil on your stomach whenever you need.
When it's finally time for you to give birth, Eiland is supportive at each step and cries when the baby is finally put in your arms. You're so excited to see that the little one's hair is a beautiful shade of light pink, just like their father's.
Eiland is happy regardless of the gender of the baby. He just hopes that he can get them as excited in his interests as he is!
He'll happily give you breaks from taking care of the baby whenever you need a nap. He loves nothing more than sitting in a rocking chair with the baby close to his chest, while he reads some of his favorite books just as he did when they were still in your stomach.
He's an incredibly patient father. Raising his voice is just not something he's capable of doing, even when the baby begins to misbehave as they get older.
Honestly though, the baby would be quite well-mannered. They learn from the calm and studious nature of their father and aunt.
Eiland always wants to provide the best for his child and his wife, whether that means dressing you two in the finest clothing or assuring the baby receives the best education money can buy.
Eiland's favorite thing to do with his child is to take long walks through the museum, or to watch Errol work at the archeological dig site. By the time that baby is of speaking age, they can recite facts nearly as well as Eiland himself can!
You're surprised by how much the baby takes after their father. They eat up any sweets you make for them with equal enthusiasm as well.
When your little family visits the Capital, you love to tour the wonderful bakeries there and get so much joy from watching Eiland and your baby enjoy eating sweets together.
With Eiland as their father, the baby continues to grow up as a little intellectual, with a mild-mannered temperament, enthusiasm to learn about everything they can, and a kind heart.
#my writing#fields of mistria#fom#eiland#fields of mistria eiland#fom eiland#eiland x reader#eiland x farmer#fields of mistria eiland x reader#fom eiland x reader#fields of mistria eiland x farmer#fom eiland x farmer
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watching this Paul Gross thing he did in the 80s (chasing rainbows) and ive been enjoying it despite the knowledge that there'd be some kind of a het love triangle thing going on and that the other two characters simply aren't that interesting, but. oh boy. is... is the woman in this constellation meant to be read as a villain???
(ME DOING A BREAKDOWN ABOUT A SHOW NOBODY WATCHED AND NOBODY WILL WATCH ✌)
PG character -- a working class man who is fundamentally good to everyone in trouble he meets, to the detriment of himself more often than not, but scraping by until he gets his big break (which he also works very hard for) and becomes the owner of a relatively successful nightclub
other two characters -- come from rich backgrounds and sort of suck him into their lives by the coincidence of the two men having been at the front in WWI and PG saving the other guy's life and consistently don't realise he's got way more working against him than they do
the lady in this situation initially dumping said other guy "to find herself" when he comes back from the war, which, fair, it's 1919, she's going to college, she wants to be sure she can make informed choices, chill enough
said lady imprinting on our working class heroic character, because he's working class. i just. cannot read it any other way. she clocks him as such at a party (that he was invited to as a veteran) straight away, insults him, throws water in his face when he doesn't take it, but simultaneously is into the whole idk... rugged unpolished nature of him
discovers a diary written during the war with poetry in it that she presumes was written by him -- steals the book and reads it out loud to her college friends and is offended that he's not flattered by this
despite numerous protests that he didn't write the poetry (and he didn't, it was written by a kid he tried to save who was later shot in front of him for desertion), she just doesn't believe him, because she desperately wants him to have the "hidden depths of a poet" or some nonsense. never mind his actual good traits -- his kind-heartedness, his tenacity, his savvy, his sense of humour, nonono she wants a Poet
also, she is a failed playwright. she writes terrible plays about things she doesn't understand (including the war), asks his opinion and is offended when he (under duress) admits he doesn't think they're very good
and now she fucking... copied down the poems without his knowledge and published them under his name with an article she wrote about said hidden poetic depths!!!! gets incredibly offended when he is upset about this, first of all with a "I thought you'd be pleased" then with a "you should be happy for me for getting an article I wrote published in a major newspaper!" (because at the end of the day it's about her)
he initially -- not knowing how to handle the situation -- goes along with it, because what do you do now? go to the publishers and say it wasn't you? out yourself in the news?? I mean??? but pretty quickly re-emphasises He Did Not Write Those Poems!
the plot then mysteriously seems to pivot into saying it was his fault for "stringing her along" because the "hidden poet" bit was the only thing she really liked about him... and she vehemently denies this (but girl, tell me one other thing that draws you to him, and you can't say because he's pretty!) and says he's hurt/betrayed her by lying. i just... don't know... if the plot... is writing her like this because she's meant to be a self-absorbed college girl who has her working class dream-boat fantasy get broken, or if it's meant to be presented as him having betrayed her. it is. unclear
and now she's threatening to write a new article about how he's a fraud. im just. waiting for the plot to point out that she's done all of this herself and she also won't suffer for any of it in the way he will...
this boy can do better than these rich kid tourists 😔
#i think because it's kinda presented as a Big Tragic Romance and im just.#she's just a terrible person. and if that were the Point then great. but im not sure that is the point#i think it's meant to look like a give-and-take where they accidentally hurt each other but...#one of them consistently makes poor decisions and forgets the other person has agency.... and the other is just Hanging On#this whole plot sounds like something you'd read on a reddit AITA#im watching tv#im watching chasing rainbows#paul gross#ive been Suffering for two episodes
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I just saw a video of children pshycologist where she said "a lot of parents nowadays only want their kids to be happy, and that's why a lot of kids nowadays has a lot of problem. because they never taught what necessary for them, such as disappointment, responsibility, accountability, how to regulate their emotion, emphaty-" and some more I don't remember, sorry. And Marinette's parents does reflect this IRL problem which should be a good thing because we have seen what kind of child Marinette is as a result of such parenting. but, instead of make this a moral lesson, the show just validated this kind of parenting and Marinette behavior as "good".
But also it's interesting how I never see the so claimed child pshycologist who said "sentimonster is good methapor for abuse" commenting about Marinette problematic behavior, or maybe because I'm no longer followed the blog, idk.
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To discuss the connection between Marinette’s problematic behavior and how she’s been raised, people would need to accept her accountability for said behavior first. Instead the closest to accepting that Marinette did anything wrong I’ve seen from the stans is the take that “Gabriel manipulated her into it” because being manipulated would make Marinette a victim and therefore not culpable for her own actions in their eyes. To the average Marinette stan, “being asked nicely by the main villain” just about equates to “was forced to do it with a gun held to her head”.
Also, like, I really do think that the Miraculous fandom at large either considers Marinette’s parents as close to perfect as you can get or claims they're neglectful for not suing the school for suspending her. Because, as I said before, the idea of parents who never expect anything from you, always give you whatever you want and instantly do whatever it takes to keep you in a good mood sounds really good. We all talk about how having supportive parents is really important, so no one thinks it’s possible for parents to be too supportive. It sounds ridiculous, the idea that you can basically give your child too much love by wanting them to always be cheerful and never having to struggle with anything.
The reasons for this attitude make sense. The other extreme of completely unsupportive parents messes with a child’s psyche much more obviously than being overly permissive does. Unless you’re actively observing someone’s behavior and know what to look for, there’s not much difference between having a healthy sense of self and being self-obsessed. It’s good to take care of yourself and prioritize yourself, it keeps you safe and healthy. But it’s bad to mistreat others because you just couldn’t be bothered to be considerate. It’s one thing to set boundaries when you’re dealing with things yourself and don’t have enough strength to take care of someone else on top of that, and a completely another thing to ask others to always prioritize you to their own detriment because you can't deal with even the smallest problem alone.
Fortitude against anything needs to be built up, just having support doesn’t cut it. When it comes to strengthening your immune system, it's not enough to just take all your vitamins while staying indoors all day, you actually need to expose yourself to bacteria by going outside frequently. It’s the entire point of vaccines that you need small amounts of a bad thing to be able to counter large amounts of it. Children facing expectations, disappointments and stressors is the same thing. You’ll never be able to handle even the slightest amount of stress unless you get exposed to it in small amounts first.
Also, like, this isn’t new information about parenting. Granted, developmental psychology as a separate field of psychology is a pretty new field of science to begin with (less than two centuries old), but I remember, already in my childhood, there being a philosophical approach to parenting that said: “overprotective parents raise cowards”. This was based on the idea that children mimic their parents, so the things their parents overly protect them from start to register as “scary” things. These days we know child development also includes more subtle connections, and, indeed, several articles on overprotective parenting discuss children with overprotective parents as being overly anxious, being more dependent on others, being involved in bullying as either a victim or perpetrator (or even both) and tending to lie to get people to like them more, among other behaviors connected to different types of overprotective parenting. Sounds almost like a checklist for Marinette, huh?
I used to think Marinette was coddled all the way back during the original show. It was just so obvious to me, because that’s how I was parented and I had similar problems with emotions and I had to clean up my act as a teenager. But, I think the reason it’s never been a topic of discussion, is that it makes Marinette out to be flawed in a real, tangible way that she herself would need to fix. Even before the retool validated all the more annoying stans, we had to be very roundabout and hushhush about any flaws Marinette had, because the stans were using the boogeyman of “everyone on Reddit/Youtube calls her stalker and blahblahblah” to justify being annoying jerks to people trying to discuss Marinette’s character with anything that wasn’t pure praise.
The one thing to remember about the fabled fandom psychologist, whose posts I’ve also had blocked for years, is that they were a popular blog. I’ve never been that popular in the Miraculous fandom, some posts of mine were, and my most popular posts were the most milktoast, tongue-in-cheek posts that didn’t actually challenge the audience in any way, practically shitposting. The Miraculous fandom at large, the side of it that desperately clings to this show and its protagonist as flawless, have never wanted to be challenged. They don’t want to read anything too spicy, they want to read posts that validate the common consensus . And that’s why a popular Miraculous blog would never write an in-depth analysis of Marinette’s character flaws and what caused them, it just wouldn’t bring the numbers they’re used to. In fact, if a popular blog decided to say anything even vaguely critical-sounding, they’d be torn apart by the Marinette stan mob who are just “so sick of all the salt”.
I know these things because I lived that too. I used to dial back my opinions on this show so much, once it became clear that Marinette stans just don’t remember what happens in the show and go purely on vibes and will dogpile anyone who says the vibe isn’t canon. The thing I said that offended these stans so much? “Marinette has a huge support system.” This was “too much salt”. I was new to active blogging and didn’t know how to deal with that much negative attention, so I tried to remain mostly inoffensive the rest of my time in the fandom. Choosing to burn any bridges with a fandom that unquestionably supports this bad of a show was the best decision I ever made.
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List of my Veilguard Complaints... just all together... getting it out of my system and then making it reddit's problem:
This game felt so emotionally flat. I think... the reviewers calling out the game for "therapy speak" weren't entirely wrong. It's more exposition speak and the fact that EVERY SINGLE feeling EVERY SINGLE trauma EVERY SINGLE event needs to be processed, out loud. It's not "too woke," it's just emotionally... spacious. Because you're forced to explore EVERYONE'S interiority... it feels like they have none left, does that make sense? No one has hidden depths because they announce and process every thing they go through, often immediately after it happens. It's hard to imagine any additional depth
It's also hard because... no one... has that much depth. Everyone has weaknesses and bad things that happened to them but it feels like there was a lack of... real character arcs? People had character sub plots. "Accept this thing about myself" was the main one. Which... doesn't help the therapy speak accusation.
No one is a bad person. The crows? The human trafficking, child soldiering, murderous gang? They're the good guys and we should be happy they rule Treviso! Lucanis is just a good guy doing good work. Neve works with Magisters and Templars and some of them are bad... but not her friends. She only works with the good ones! The dalish form a group with Qunari and human members and they're just a diverse coalition who... love mages now (despite having kicked them out last game?? okay). Literally NO ONE is allowed to be EVEN A LITTLE morally dubious unless they'er a Bad Guy or they're fucking solas
I MISS BIOWARE GREY MORALITY! THATS HOW BAD IT IS! I FUCKING MISS IT I MISS IT I DO BRING BACK ANDERS BRING BACK ZEVRAN BRING BACK MORRIGAN AND FUCKING CULLEN AND FUCKING BLACKWALL BRING BACK ISABELA BRING BACK MERRILL AND HER DEMON SHIT! BRING IT BACK
"Oh, we're treasure hunters but we're not COLONIZERS! We don't steal cultural artifacts! We return them to the real owners, we're pirates but we're NICE AND RESPECT PRONOUNS!" CHRIST ALIVE!!!
EVERYONE WE MEET IN TEVINTER IS NICE??? EVEN THE GANG??? THE THREADS GANG IS NICE!! THEYRE SCAMMRES BUT THEYRE SO GOOD ITS A HAPPY ENEDING IF ONE OF OUR COMPANIONS RUNS THEIR GANG??? WHAT???
It was... a little bit awesome to have dorian become a violent revolution man but like????? Then Minrathous gets nuked so the game is too cowardly to even do that shit
AND THATS THE OTHER THING! This game made sure NOTHING matters choice wise! Oh, you chose to save Minranthous? It gets nuked at teh end. Oh, your choices fro previous games? Only matters if you romanced Solas but Dorian might call your Inquisitor "Amatus" in a non-cut scene dialogue. FUck you if you romanced anyone else. Southern Thedas is just.... all dead now... it's over... so any choices you mad ether eare NEVER going to be relevant. The companion personal quest choices really don'tmatter and won't matter next game.
THEY KILLED THE DNA OF A DRAGON AGE GAME! No grey morality, no meaningful choices, fuck... barely any romance once you flirt (NO POST-ENDING ROMANCE SCENE!!! EVEN MORE SHY ABOUT NUDITY!), AND NO FUCKING THEMES!
What was the theme of this game? Following Solas' story, it might be redemption or letting go of the past, I guess, but?? Do the main stories tie into that? Not really. We have ONE part of a hcapter be about Rook letting go of regrets... for deaths that jUST happened not even anything lingering.
Plots around OPPRESSION ANTI-ELF AND ANTI-MAGE DISCRIMINATION?? Gone... IN A STORY ABOUT TAKING DOWN SLAVERS... LIKE THE OG SLAVERS??? Yeah, it doesn't matter. We have idle talk about slave revolutions and that's... it?? I'm an elf in Tevniter and no one cared. What? Qunari and Elves and humans are all besties except the Antaam (some of which still become besties)... what? How do yo drop the single strongest through-line in the series?
"Oh, well it takes place in the north, it's different rfrom the south!" OKAY BUT THE FALL OUT IN THE NORTH LITERALLY NUKED THE SOUTH OUT OF EXISTENCE, I CAN'T GET SOME LINES ABOUT CULTURAL DIFFERENCES! Or like... a line referencing what happned to the southern wardens after... y'unno... the whole betrayal thing last game? That's all chill?
Varric's plot twist was fucking stupid. See: this post.
The romance with Neve was sooo promising btu felt passionless towards the end. Maybe there are better choices but... the lack ofreal closure burns. No final kiss, just a wobbling "I love you" that sounded like it came after pulling teeth like... no passion for real?
Taash's nonbinary plotline sucked. I'm sorry. It did. As a nonbinary person I can say that.
Harding was so OOC it fucking hurt.
I chose her for the mandatory death because that wasn't my harding. It's absurd that that limited the mandatory death thing to two potential characters?
Larger casts are always hard but it feel slike they rly struggled to make all characters relevant to the main plot. Taash's mom/gender struggle could've been skipped. Emmrich was amazing but felt like he was a part of an entirely separate game. Bellara's archive plot felt close-ish to teh main plot of letting go of the past but the fact that you can choose to keep it going kinda... makes it less relevant. Idk.
Besides... Lucanis... and sometimes Bellara and sometimes Harding no one feels like they're reacting to the plot. The fact that a character can die but it's skimmed over after a scene and some chats is insane. The pacing is terribleeeee like oh I can watch Harding and Taash's terrible romance (I'll say it!! Harding acts liek a doting mom and NOT in a sexy way) in dialogue across several missions in the Lighthouse but we zoom past companions dying? THe world ending??
The world was beautiful BUT THE WORLD BUILDING SUCKED! Sorry but SOOO many locations make NO sense construction wise. Why is a chest in the middle of street? Why does this bridge only appear when I have a quest? It's hard to tell when an area is inaccessible because you haven't figured out how to get there vs you literally aren't allowed to go there yet. It makes the world feel more like Oh I'm playing a game rather than you're exploring a real place. They did not navigate inaccessible areas well as a concept.
CHARACTER MOTIVATION EQUALLY AS FUCKING MESSY! I still don't know what Elgar'nan/Ghilan'nain's plan rly was even though Ghilan'nain literally wails about them. They wanted to rule, they were blight addled so I guess they're insane, but... why did they have to do it this way? What were they gonna do as rules?
Solas wanted to tear the veil down ti imprison them even harder except tearing the veil down lets out the blight except letting them out of prison also lets out the blight and don't worry when he tears the veil down he'll imprison/kill them again and make sure the blight isn't too bad even tho the veil was the only thing keeping the blight in?? And oh haha killing them lets down the veil. Also, AFTER killing htem, the veil takes a while to be torn and actually stays in place long enough for Solas to feel bad and patch it up with his own essence... okay?
The Butcher Antaam dude looooves Treviso so he accepts the blight into his body to rule it but you have to fight him.. to prove you're worthy of keeping him... from destroying Treviso? He loves it and also wants it destroyed. Again, he's blighted so he's CRAAAZY but... what?
Even with Emmrich! He's scared of becoming immortal because he's a afraid of death. So you resolve that by either pressuring him to never die by being immortal... or by not letting his friend die? Huh? We conquer fear of death by just... not letting things die?What?
Not the same thing but why would dorian stay up in the north to become an archon if he romanced an inquisitor who is fighting for their life in teh soutH? again this continuity SUCKS
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Ultimate Ship Tournament: Round 4
Propaganda below cut
Zhongchi:
Zhongli gave Childe engagement chopsticks and they both have two friendship dialogues about the other which is usually done to signify they have an important/close relationship which ik we’ve been yapping about for years but it’s true and cute and I love them
Eimiko (submitted 3 times):
Literally so canon. Yae waited for her for 500 years and did everything to try and get her to see sense. When the Archon quest starts they both have very different views on eternity and Ei's changes, and Ei is very rigid and stubborn and serious, and Yae is stubborn in her own way and she teases Ei, and Ei can talk to someone that isn't worshipping her.
I could just start and end with "lesbian". They are "long time friends" and Miko clearly cares deeply about Raiden, as she helps the traveler because she wants to save Raiden. Also, Miko can remember all of Raiden's combat moves, which I can't do for any of MY friends. When Ei and Miko talk (flirt) in the Plane of Euthymia, they're so happy to see each other. Also, Raiden trusted Miko with her gnosis, which no other archon has done and is something that clearly would not be given away without extreme trust. When the traveler points out that Miko and Ei enjoy teasing each other, Miko responds with a wink. They are almost always talking about or to each other. I don't even need to explain "Pretty Please, Kitsune Guuji". Also this: "Locking herself away in the Plane of Euthymia when she clearly wants to be out—It's rather stubborn, but cute, don't you think?". They clearly care for each other and want the best for each other, and have always been together for hundreds of years. They bring out the best in each other and there's a lot to explore in their relationship in terms of forgiveness, reconnection, and fluff or angst, they are just really cute together and have a LOT of canon lore so you don't need to dig very deep to about how much they love each other bc its right there!!!
Beiguang (submitted 4 times):
You can just tell someone on the writing team ships it. Every time one pops up, there's a good chance the other will at least get mentioned. "I compensate her in other ways", going on a trip together, straight up flirting. "Chess".
WIVES - They play chess together in the jade palace - Ningguang dressed up to impress Beidou for lantern rite - The sexual tension???
Canonically they're married, jk. Propaganda, just that one lantern scene. Them literally being the dragon and the phoenix, which is a symbol of marriage. The way that Beidou is the only one that doesn't lose chess on purpose to Ningguang, Ningguang calling Beidou to petty work for no reason. Ningguang ignoring Beidou's fines. Literally all their scenes together, like it's not even hinting atp.
#ugt poll#ugt round 4#ultimate ship tournament#ultimate genshin tournament#genshin impact#genshin#tournament#character tournament#tumblr tournament#bracket tournament#tournament poll#genshin polls#zhongchi#tartali#eimiko#beiguang#reblog for sample size etc etc#has propaganda
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"Me? No," Wade said, shaking his head. "The opposite, actually. I'm bored to death." He realized how that probably sounded to her a moment later. "Not- I didn't mean bored sitting here talkin' to you. I meant with life in general lately. Haven't found any good jobs yet in this city, got nothin' but time on my hands, that sorta thing," he sought to clarify.
He understood what she was getting at with the waffles, and she was right, really. But if his enjoyment was the only reason for something, then lately he just wasn't interested. He really didn't deserve to indulge at present, and he wasn't sure when he was going to finally say he did deserve it.
Everything that had happened to his friends and potential future family wasn't exactly something somebody got over in a shot amount of time. Until he did, he was going to keep right on thinking he didn't deserve to be happy. I got everybody killed. If I'm not gonna join 'em like I should've, the least I can do is live a completely miserable life. Not the greatest logic, but emotionally it made sense to him. "Yeah, I guess," he said unconvincingly, choosing to leave it at that rather that harp on things. This poor woman was probably tired of hearing his bellyaching bullshit.
He thought her reaction to his supposed medical condition not being given proper thought had been a bit... extreme? Had he touched a nerve somewhere? Surely her anger wasn't just out of concern for him, they'd only just met a little while ago. Still, the anger seemed... personal, somehow. Maybe she's been in jail before. If she had, that wasn't any of his business. If she wasn't on his list, then he didn't care what she did or how many years she'd spent in the cage.
He was still thinking about what he'd seen outside with the unfortunate, umbrella-challenged fellow. Again, he was curious and wanted to know what she'd done, what that blue stuff was, how she'd fixed the umbrella so well... but it seemed wrong to ask. She seemed like a very private person and Wade wasn't one to pry into other people's affairs unless he was being paid to do it.
Cutting the stack of napkins that arrived in half and dividing them between her and himself, Wade wasted no time in drying his rather shiny chromedomus before any more rainwater could drip down his nose or from his chin. "I gotta install gutters on this thing. Seriously, everything just rolls right off," he complained, gesturing towards his head.
When she said he'd done the same thing, meaning fixing the umbrella, Wade chuckled. "Nah, I didn't do shit, that was all you," he insisted. "All I did was get myself wet and hold the door on the way back. Hardly medal-worthy conduct."
The soldier bunched herself up under the desk, palms pressed to her ears with enough pressure that she could hear the squeak of her joints. She was trying to block out the noise. The angry shouts as she disobeyed direct orders. When had she entered the office? One minute she'd been searching the aisles...
well,
Shallow breaths
A tap on her shoulder, sending her jolting alongside her racing heart, wide eyes searching for the source- an elderly woman with a light laugh, and an apology for startling her. She was only reaching for the milk
Bright, fluorescent lights
Constant chatter and clanging and beeping that was not, in fact, a heart rate monitor, and was instead the tills as the cashiers scanned various items
Too many options
kind of.
At some point she'd passed the bakery, and a small child in a cart had wheeled by, holding a...
And then she'd found herself in the office. The door was locked from the inside. The desk had the indent of fingers on the edge of it's surface, as though imprinted in wet cement. One of it's legs wiggled like a snake. Both still gleaned with the sweat of her hands.
The manager kept slamming on the door, shouting and raving about calling the police, and company files and trespassing. And yet she was frozen in place. - For Wade, sadiebrin
@sadiebrin
"Donuts or muffins?" Wade muttered to himself as he looked around the bakery section. His head tilted to one side, then the other. "Eh, they each have their good points..."
It was supposed to rain today. Not just rain, thunderstorm. So far, though, the sky had gone dark for a couple hours and it had gotten rather windy, but so far... no rain or thunder. Perfect weather for Wade to do a little shopping during normal human hours without fear of getting too impaired by the sun. He'd felt a mild tingling on his skin when he stepped outside, but... not too bad. And really, he just had to go from his apartment building to his SUV, and then from there into the store. He could do that standing on his head, so... time to shop.
Being a vampire sucked, pun intended. Needing blood all the time was not only unappealing to Wade, but it was massively inconvenient with his schedule and lifestyle. And he refused to give up the foods he loved, even if they did nothing for him nowadays. At least he could eat whatever he wanted without fear of getting fat or developing heart disease, since whatever made him a vampire seemed to regulate his body to keep it in tip-top shape without him having to do much of anything.
His deliberations on exactly what kind of indulgent human food to buy were interrupted by a very distressed woman staggering from near where he was toward the back of the store. Confections could wait. Wade followed her, sensing that something was very wrong. When she went inside an office and slammed the door, Wade stopped and watched as the manager began pounding on the door like a child throwing a tantrum. "Really?" Wade mumbled to himself.
Making his way to the door, Wade laid his hand on the manager's shoulder. "Take a breath, okay? I think she's havin' some kinda problem." The manager was taking too many breaths, as it were, and spouting more boisterous nonsense about how she wasn't allowed in there, and if she didn't come out right this instant he was going to called the cops!
With an irritated smirk, Wade reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet. "Dude, relax, I am the cops," he said, flashing his badge just fast enough for the manager to see something that looked official but not long enough for him to actually read that it only said government licensed bounty hunter on it. It worked, and the manager took a step back from the door. Only one. Wade looked at him like, you gotta be kiddin' me with this bullshit. "Yeah, you wanna gimme some time here, man? I'll handle it, don't worry." With that, the manager huffed and left to deal with an irate woman who couldn't find the type of cheese she wanted and was making it everyone else's problem.
"Hey... miss?" he called through the door. "You okay in there? Need some help?" He was trying to get through to the woman but also sound as non-threatening as he could manage.
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My page for @sheikahzine; about Impaz's duty to her village, empty of people and full of memories.
[id in alt text]
#legend of zelda#loz#twilight princess#loz tp#i'm still reeling that someone sent me an ask about this one.. that they took the time to find my tumblr and tell me they liked it#it really meant a lot; thank you to anyone that stops to leave comments like that. they make me happy#but yeah! here's the usual symbolism ramble:#i thought it'd be cool to have the 'spirits' flowing one way and the cats walking through them the other way#to kinda show the difference in life inhabiting the village in the past and present#link's face is covered because impaz was just waiting for 'the hero' so his clothes are what matters; not his face#and it (hopefully) gives a surreal and intangible sense to 'the hero' she could only hope would actually show up#you can feel free to interpret the glowy blue sheikah as ghosts or just as memories of the past! i couldn't decide either way#the one on the bottom left is oot impa since she's implied to be the village founder. so i guess she would be a ghost actually?#fan art#my art#project stuff#and ahhh the book-- everyone's stuff is so beautiful!!#especially the writing. some of the fics made me really tear up and some were so fun and clever. i really love them#a lot of them captured the sheer burden of the role of the sheikah; all of the time and grief and doubt#i know i always say this stuff about every project but. the people i get to work with in these are truly so skilled every time
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