#but I need the instant gratification to post something
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Answers to "it hurts"
I know (apologetically)
I know (condescendingly)
It's supposed to
Good
I'm sorry
It'll be over soon
Stop whining
And it'll get worse if you don't *insert threat*
Well it wouldn't have to if you didn't *insert mistake*
You're supposed to say 'thank you'
I love hearing you say that
This is nothing, I'll show you actual pain
Get used to it
You'll get used to it
Stop lying
At least you still feel it
Shut up
Why don't you beg me to stop, then?
Can't be that bad if you're still talking
I don't care
Did I ask?
It's the only way you'll learn
You can take it
Answers to "please stop"
#whump#whump dialogue prompt#whump dialogue#whump prompt#whumblr#I've had this in my drafts half done for 3 weeks but after finishing 3 prompts for whumpmas and not getting the instant gratification of#posting#i needed to throw something out there today so i would maybe get a bit of serotonin from posting#additions always welcome#also yes theres a dif between get used to it and you'll get used to it#and yes im defening me in front of myself cause every time i read it i think i accidentally have the same thing twice#but like#it's different#right?
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Being in love with Buck wasn’t an option.
It can’t be an option.
Because if it was, Eddie might do something stupid, like kiss his best friend.
Which is—not an option.
Eddie’s done that song and dance before, and that ended badly—leaving and being left, divorce papers, blood on hot asphalt.
But the thing is, Eddie can’t stop thinking about it. It’s been over a month since Buck came out to him, and Eddie can’t stop thinking about how Buck is an option now.
Which isn’t even entirely true, because Buck is with Tommy—Buck is happy with Tommy—and Eddie feels like his entire world is collapsing in on itself.
#you know what. fuck it. i will post just the beginning of this fic and nothing else god bless#buddie#911 fic#911#911 spoilers#kind of#eddie diaz#my fic#my writing#abby writes#mine#okay tumblrinas is this something. should i finish this. you guys have to tell me i need instant gratification
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sorry, i think this might come across mean, but it is simply how i feel.
almost always i genuinely enjoy writing alt text and im glad im in the habit of doing it. but also, the idea of having someone else describe my images instead of me is so viscerally repulsive. I wonder if we could use this to get more people to write alt text. if you dont wanna write alt text then someone else decides how your post looks to people using screen readers (or people with slow internet). shudder !
and i want to be clear. the people who add image descriptions are incredibly kind and doing a great service often for little to no recognition or appreciation. And a lot of them are good at it. But it isnt about the quality of the description--they could be the best damn writer in the world, they could knock my piddly description into smithereens--if someone else ever became the voice to describe my art, or my face in a memey selfie, or literally anything i posted for public viewing, i would explode. i was born a control freak and i will die a control freak. ONLY I DECIDE MY NARRATIVE ‼‼‼
#indexed post#It would be noble to say that making my work accessible is the only reason i do it...#But this is admittedly also a factor#And as usual I recommend the “alt text as poetry” workshop which informs how i approach alt text. i want to make a summary sometime#also bc like we live in an instant gratification timeline#lots of times i share something privately on discord or on a locked acct where i know nobody needs the descs#so i can be like yayy everyone like my picture like 2 mins after i post it and get 100000 notes#and then after like an hour or the next day if its late i write the alt text which almost always takes like 2-5mins tops#and post it publicly and then im like yaayyyy ayyaya yayayyayayayyayyyay ayayayayyay#but yeah i think like as a sighted person writing alt text is its own expressive form that grants you extended control over your art#so even if you dont personally know or feel the impact of alt text on others#You can come to appreciate it for self-serving reasons HAHA.#the optics of this are obviously not as good but personally i think the pragmatic results outweigh the purity of the sentiment imo#and curb cut effect etc.#anyways. just my musing for the night
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enormous enormous problem which is that i finished my 5 x 1 but decided i should wait until end of july to post in order to give it its day in the sun (given the number of upcoming pieces i have for the meronia event and the rest of bury us both) but i am So So So Impatient
#neallopost#it's like 7k and i'm very pleased with how it came out and I DON'T WANT TO SHORTCHANGE IT BY POSTING IT IN THE MIDDLE OF A SEA OF OTHER#UPDATES 😭#but also i want instant gratification of posting ...#i think what i need to do is finish something else so i can post that instead. yeah
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im fairly certain i have an actual addiction to my phone, as in a heavy reliance on it for stimulation as a form of distraction from other issues, but it's also better than being addicted to drugs or alcohol and i genuinely do not think i can make it outta highschool without some sorta addiction.
#grymms spectacular fucking posts#whenever im not on my phone and not doing something which either distracts me enough or prevents me from being on my phone i feel an#overwhelming urge to be on my phone in order to get the instant gratification of scrolling tumblr or playing a game or watching YouTube#and honestly its mostly due to needing to distract myself from just how harmful school is for me because it's not like i can just not be in#school#not just bc you have to have at least a highschool diploma for any jobs but also my mom would kill me
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have resorted to bribing myself to work. which....is arguably what a salary is but frankly that's not cutting it anymore.
#I need something more immediate. i need INSTANT GRATIFICATION#i need...[sob]....i NEED DOPAMINE#phew#squirrel posting#recently i read piranesi and now my brain keeps going like. idk. that doesn't seem so bad#i would probably be fine in the House right?#i mean i cant fish and i hate being cold and i have a terrible sense of direction. but it can't be worse than full time employment
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hey, so people need to be aware that youtube is now (randomly) holding basic features for ransom (such as being able to pin comments under your own videos) in exchange for Your State ID/Drivers License, or a 30 Second Video Of Your Face.
not to pull a "think of the children," but No Actually. I've been making videos as a hobby since 2015 (and I've had my channel since middle school), I was a minor when I started and I'm not sure I would have understood the kind of damage something a seemingly simple as a video of your face can do.
this is a Massive breach of privacy and over-reach on google's part No Matter What, but if they're going to randomly demand a state ID or license then they absolutely should not allow minors to be creators.
google having a stockpile of identifying information on teenagers is bad enough, but the Alternative of recording your face and handing it over to be filed away is Alarming considering it opens the gates for minors who Aren't old enough to have a license.
and yes, there is a third option, but it's intentionally obtuse. a long wait period (2 months), with no guarantee of access (unlike, say, the convenience of using your phone's cameras for either of the other two), with absolutely No elaboration on what the criteria is or how it's being measured.
it's the same psychological effect that mobile games rely on. offer a slow, unreliable solution with no payment to make the Paid instant gratification look more appealing (the "payment" in this case being You. you are the product being offered).
and it's Particularly a system that (I think intentionally) disadvantages people who don't treat their channels like a job. hobbyists or niche creators who don't create regularly enough or aren't popular enough to meet whatever Vague criteria needs to be met to pass.
markiplier would have no problem passing, your little brother might not be able to. and while Mark's name is already out there there's no reason why your little brother's should be too.
something like pinned comments may seem simple, you don't technically Need it. but it's a feature that's been available for years. most people don't look at descriptions anymore. so when there's relevant information that needs to be delivered then the pinned comment is usually the go to.
for my little channel that information is about the niche series I create for. guides on how to get into the series, sources on where to find the content At All (and reliably so). for other creators it can be used for things Much More Important.
Moreover, if we let them get away with cutting away "small" features and selling it back to you for the price of your privacy, then they Will creep further. they Will take more.
Note: I have an update to this post here: [Link]
#enshittification#discourse#youtube#google#evillious chronicles#evillious#ec#this isn't overtly About that fandom#but it is#because it affects how I'm able to run my channel going forwards#I have no clue if I'm going to pass whatever 'test' they're giving my channel#so it's possible there won't be any pinned comments under the tobimisa channel ever again#I won't be able to edit old ones either#as that unpins the comment#which I won't be able to pin again
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craft hobbies i’m teaching the bg3 companions post game + after they finish their personal quests:
wyll: knitting or quilting. i think he would really appreciate the community aspect of it, and the grandmas at his local quilting circle would be absolutely obsessed with him. his first quilt is a lil wonky but he hangs it up on his wall because he’s proud of himself. also helps out around his local quilt/yarn store and tries to get some kids into the hobby as well
lae’zel: needle felting. you stab something a bunch. need i say more? jk i feel like she’d like something practical like leatherwork or even just basic mending, and she’d be very pleased when anyone complimented her on something she made.
astarion: embroidery baby! he loves finery and we already know he knows basic sewing from the flavor text on his camp clothes (at least that’s how i interpreted that). i think he’d enjoy making things truly his own and also enjoy seeing someone he loved wearing something he made for them. plus embroidery takes awhile and his immortal ass has the time
halsin: he already has a hobby in whittling, but i’m teaching him basic mending too. i think he’d like having it as a skill and also being able to teach the kids how to fix their stuff! (plus u never wanna be unprepared in a teddy bear injury emergency…)
shadowheart: i’m teaching her crochet bc honestly she deserves the instant gratification of how fast crochet can work up. she’d make cute little headbands with fancy granny squares and get excited about nice yarn
gale: i’m also teaching gale knitting. he’s pretty dexterous with respect to casting somatic components of spells so i think he’s got the hand dexterity for it, and i think once he made a weirdly long tube (?) awkward first knitting project he’d take to it really quickly and somehow end up knitting spells into garments
karlach: ok karlach is actually learning needle felting. i think she’d make wonky little adorable creatures and she’d love every one with all her heart. she’d go around to everyone and be like look it’s you as an animal!!!! and you can barely tell it has a face. but it’s also the most precious think you’ve ever seen. you get it
minthara: ok minthara is hard this woman is dead focused on ambition. to help her get it out of her system i’m getting her into warhammer, helping her paint minis, and then setting her loose to become undisputed queen of the local game store. sorry guys u don’t stand a chance
bonus: i’m teaching withers to spin yarn. he shows up with a ball of yarn for you and you’re like what fiber is this and he’s like hm? and you drop it but it’s the most amazing yarn you’ve ever worked with.
#bg3#karlach#minthara#gale dekarios#astarion#halsin#wyll ravengard#shadowheart#lae'zel#withers#hearthposting#bonus: i’m teaching mol how to cross stitch but exclusively those sweary ones or the ones that are like#beware: this is proof i have the patience to stab something 1000 times
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Shadow of natal Venus-Lilith aspects
This post is about Black Moon Lilith and i'm mainly talking about the conjunction and harsh aspects.
I have Venus conjunct Lilith in my own chart so here's some notes based off of my personal experience and observations. Sidenote: I am not shaming anyone for having these shadow aspects as they exist within me as well. Dominant Lilith folks are meant to self integrate their shadow sides to gain better awareness and to accept them to become whole. Everything I speak about are things I currently struggle with or have previously struggled with. I want this to be nothing but a safe space for Lilith dominant folks.
Sexualization and fetishization: These people are often sexualized at a very young age and throughout their lives. People often make sexual comments or gestures towards these individuals. Venus-Lilith folks may also become fetishized. People can project their fantasies onto Venus-Lilith natives, treating them as objects, only viewing them as sexual figures rather than actual human beings. People may have hidden agendas towards the Venus-Lilith person as well usually revolving around wanting to obtain something from them such as sex. People may paint Venus-Lilith people to be provocative and "sexually suggestive" when they're simply just existing.
Society: Lilith dominant people are often shamed by others. People project things onto them and create false perceptions of them. Society will stare, create assumptions, and speak behind these people's back. One of the purposes of Lilith dominance in a chart is for the person to completely leave societal expectations to follow their own unique path and to do it fearlessly. This is a huge challenge for them as they will often feel judged, unaccepted and ridiculed by others. They may have had family members project certain ideals onto them which in return they internalized and grew up trying to fit in with everyone around them. They may have been bullied during their developmental years, or got sucked into societal standards. Whatever a Lilith dominant person does that isn't deemed acceptable by the common collective, there will be talk. They must learn to disregard this and to continue to walk their own path and life their lives to the fullest; something that's true to them. They must honor the things that make them different from others.
Self image and self esteem: When/if sexualized at a young age or shamed by others, they can easily internalize this and seek external validation which in return ruins their perceptions of themselves and their self esteem. They could have an obsession over wanting to achieve perfection committing to an ideal that often is projected onto them by another. These people must work on healing this aspect within themselves as they can easily act on self hatred or create a false image of themselves, essentially creating a mask.
Control: Venus-Lilith folks may have issues regarding control within themselves and their relationships. They may resist any control that is put onto them, but can push to control their partners. They have a difficulty with being told no which can lead to acting impulsively and seeking instant gratification to get what they want; when their eyes are set on something, they do everything to get it. They also can have a hard time with compromising with partners due to their need for control. The need for control often stems from not wanting to be taken advantage of by others, especially by their partners.
Men...: Something to be mindful of is men treat Lilith dominant people weirdly. Men who are in relationships will show interest, men will stare at you wherever you go, their eyes will dart or follow your every move, men will unsolicitedly approach you, men will try to control and dominate you, men will think you're seducing them, men will project their fantasies onto you and have no shame in making it known, and men will objectify and sexualize you. I've had men suggest sex or straight up ask me for it; men who I've barely spoken to or just met. It's disgusting.
Sexuality: I have seen this play out in mainly two different ways; one being the Venus-Lilith person refraining from indulging in their sexual desires, restraining their sexuality and sexual expression, or the Venus-Lilith person discovering their sexuality earlier on and becoming sexually liberated. The shadow sides of these two scenarios is they can either be sexually repressed, usually caused by shame or guilt for having such desires, or they can overt their sexuality in an unhealthy manner, leading to debauchery or to gain or win something from another by luring them in. These people must create a healthy relationship with their sexuality and sexual desires so it's not completely dormant and kept on the backburner, or so it doesn't completely overrule their lives.
Relationships: Oftentimes relationships are complicated for Venus-Lilith natives. They can become another person's rebound, can become a third party (or what they call the other woman/a mistress) in someone else's relationship, can enter a toxic relationship, can confuse passion, limerence, and lust for love, or can repeatedly face heartbreak and chaos in one's love life. Something i've experienced in myself and have noticed in others is that there's sometimes there's a struggle with give in take in their relationships. They may want or expect their partner to fulfill all their needs, essentially wanting more than what they can give. They can have a difficult time with feeling entirely satisfied and may unconsciously ask for more than what a person can give. They may put their needs first or focus on how a relationship will serve them rather than entering something solely for love. Venus-Lilith people may be obsessive and have attachments towards potential partners OR they attract obsessive people. Even in the beginning stage of a relationship, they may find that their partners become quickly attached and possessive over the Venus-Lilith native. Jealousy is also another thing they may face within themselves or whomever they're romantically involved with. When they are in love, they're super intense; feeling love so strongly that it consumes them. Heartbreak is incredibly painful for anybody, but people with Venus-Lilith may completely rip themselves apart if heartbroken. At the end of a painful heartbreak or lesson in love, there's always an incredible transformation these individuals go through to better understand themselves and their shadows, deepest desires and fears, and others.
#venus conjunct lilith#venus square lilith#venus opposite lilith#venus lilith#lilith#black moon lilith#venus#astro community#astro notes#astro observations#astrology#m
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Felix and lovie:
L: but... arent promise rings meant for bfs and gfs?
Felix: i mean, we made the promise to always be close so its our promise ring i think.
L: i guess youre right!
Farleigh: 🧍🏾♂️
i want to queue posts before i go on my trip but i also i love instant gratification ahhh
this isn’t exactly promise rings but i think it feels pretty close
His room still smells the same--faint traces of smoke and cologne blending into slightly humid air. You're not sure what you expected. Felix left for a weekend for some family function his mother wanted him to attend. Two days.
Not a significant amount of time. Not enough time to change anything, and yet you felt every second of it. You missed him. Missed him more than you think you'd ever be willing to admit.
"Did you miss me?" There's no way he knows what you were thinking about, but there's something about the slight tilt of his head and his barely there smile.
You hold his gaze for a beat before letting your attention fall to your shoes. "Maybe a little."
Felix's mouth falls open in a mock gasp. "Maybe?" And then, still completely appalled, "A little?"
You press your lips together into a firm line to keep from laughing at his reaction. Felix moves to stand, leaving his bed in favor of approaching you. In an attempt to hold your ground, you cross your arms in front of your chest. Felix disregards your feeble line of defense, continuing forward until you're within easy reach.
"I could say--" Felix places a firm hand on your shoulder. A sound between a laugh and something slightly more panicked tumbles through your sentence. "I could say I missed you a lot, but--" Another hand on your other shoulder, another clumsy laugh. "But I don't need to feed your ego."
He pulls you forward gently until your face hits his chest. You halfheartedly lift your arm in an empty attempt to push him away. You're quicker to embrace defeat, glad for the excuse to be near him, really near him.
You hugged Felix when he first got back to campus, but with his usual crowd all desperate to catch up with him and Farleigh right there, you felt a little more watched than usual. You couldn't do what you really wanted, couldn't take a beat to just absorb Felix's warmth.
"So you were being mean."
You're only half listening, more focused on wrapping your arms around Felix. The scent of his detergent is stronger than usual, nearly obscuring the scent of his cigarettes entirely. Maybe he smoked less this weekend. You try to picture Felix under some kind of authority, sneaking cigarettes out on a patio to avoid upsetting his parents. It's so normal, a part of you regrets not getting to see him like that.
His hand presses against your back. "Lovie?"
You lift your head enough to look at him. "Yeah?"
Felix's eyebrows briefly pull together. He watches you for a moment before grinning. "You missed me."
His smugness has the instinct to protest crawling up your throat, but there's something so content about his expression, you can't bring yourself to deny it the way you usually would. "I missed you. A lot."
Felix's grin broadens. He tilts his head downwards, his lips briefly brushing against your forehead. He straightens before responding, "You could have come with me."
You did meet Felix's sister during your Christmas break trip, and she was really nice, but Felix's world is still something you're vaguely wary of. Maybe you could have come around to the idea of meeting Felix's parents, but the thought of attending some event intended only for his family was a little overwhelming, especially because Felix didn't invite any of his other friends.
"It was a family thing."
Felix lets out a soft sigh. "I brought Farleigh."
"Farleigh's your cousin, he was already invited."
He pulls back slightly, his hands moving away from your back as he lets go of you. "No one cares if you bring a date to those things." It's the same argument he used in an attempt to get you to go with him. "It's to keep the night bearable."
"Bearable?" You beam. "You missed me."
From you, it's an accusation. Felix's eyebrows draw together, like he's unsure why you felt the need to say something so obvious. "I missed you." He shifts back on his heels in a way that borders on uncertain. "So much, I brought you back a present."
You raise your eyebrows at that. Felix is a thorough person. When he gives someone his attention, that person has his entire focus. When Felix gives presents, he tends to be just as generous. It's not a bad thing, but it is something the two of you have talked about. Yes, you're best friends, but that doesn't mean you want Felix splurging on you. Even if it's not splurging to him.
Felix turns, walking towards the bag that he left on his bed. With his back to you, it's a little easier to watch him openly. He went to English countryside for some charity event put on by some cousin. What could he have gotten? "A present?"
He unzips his bag. "Yes," Felix shifts through his close, "A present."
When Felix turns to face you again, there's a something small and square in his hand. The closer Felix gets, the clearer the object becomes. A box that's oddly reminiscent of a jewelry box.
With an abruptness that doesn't seem to suit him, Felix extends his arm to hand you the box. You watch Felix as you take the box, doing your best to decipher his expression. He's strangely blank.
You open the box, revealing a ring safely tucked between cushioned velvet. There's an image carved into the flat face of the ring. The carving of an arrow-pierced hand emerging from a crown is vaguely familiar. You might have cared about placing the image more if the ring was less stunning.
"You um--you wear a lot of rings, so I thought..."
You do wear a lot of rings, there are several on your fingers right now. "It's really pretty."
"My mum was going through some older pieces this weekend and it reminded me of you." The explanation is mumbled cautiously, Felix's attention shifting from you to the ring and then back to you.
Your lips part, an uncertainty you're not accustomed to feeling around him making it hard to speak. You don't know everything about Felix's family history, but you know enough to understand that when he says something from his home is old, he means it.
"Lex." The gesture tugs at a sentimental part of you that exists solely in the pit of your stomach. "That's really sweet, and it's really pretty, but I can't take some family heirloom from you."
His eyebrows pinch together in a way that feels more confused than directly unhappy. "You're not taking it, I'm giving it to you." Felix shifts his weight from one foot to the other. "C'mon, I've got loads of these, it's just been sitting in some closet."
Felix is watching you with wide, almost pleading eyes. You let your gaze fall back onto the ring. With no warning, Felix places a hand over yours. "We'll trade."
You don't fully understand what he's getting at until Felix starts to straighten your fingers. He twists the ring that's on your ring finger. It's a nice ring, a simple band with thin carvings that you picked up at a vintage jewelry shop on a whim, but it's not exactly an even trade.
Felix slides the ring off your finger. A trade is a little easier to accept. The two of you share things like bracelets all the time. "Okay," you pause to take a breath, "But if you ever want it back..."
"Yeah, I know." The words feel like a dismissal. You narrow your eyes briefly, but don't push the subject the way you normally would. You're too happy to see him to care about technicalities.
Felix pulls the ring out of the box and slips onto your finger. You bend your fingers and turn over your hand to get a feel for the ring and its size. It fits. "It's really nice."
"It suits you."
Before Felix can pull your ring onto his finger, you put your hand over his. He lets take your ring from between his fingers. You hold your thumb beneath Felix's palm, the rest of your fingers curling over his knuckles. Felix keeps his fingers straight as you place your own ring on his finger. "There."
Felix grins. "There?"
"Yeah, it's--" You ignore the warmth attempting to make its way up your neck. "It's in place."
He stretches his fingers, studying the way the band looks on him. There's something about his expression you can't quite read, but it doesn't seem unpleasant. He drops his hand before you can attempt to decipher his thoughts any further. "Do you want to watch a movie?"
You drag your thumb against the side of the ring. "Yeah, a movie sounds nice."
----
fun fact the design carved into the ring is supposed to be the catton family crest :)
taglist; @vader-is-hot @spiritofbuddha @getosangie @freyafriggafrey @ilovehyperfixating @aryiannarae @willowpains @ker0senebunny @lilyrachelcassidy @khxna @imbabycowboy
#bestfriend!felix#felix catton x reader#bestfriend!felix x reader#felix catton x you#saltburn x reader#jacob elordi#jacob elordi x reader
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Boyfriends
Pairing: DomTop!Liam Payne x Bottom!male reader x SoftTop!Niall Horan
Category: SMUT
Warnings: Gay sex, anal, blowjobs, smut, marking, overstimulation, multiple rounds, possessiveness, jealousy, DP, idk i'm probably missing something.
A/n: I hope I did just to the request. I got distracted and hence the backstory is more drawn out that the smut. I'm sorry 😭😭.
Word Count: 2.8k words
Read at your own discretion.
"Will you be our boyfriend?" were not the words you were expecting to hear from the two people standing in front of you.
You were just surprised that these two hot guys want to be with you. You did not even realise when that happened or how that happened but you knew somehow you made them fall in love with you.
But all this started when you got famous. I mean how else would Liam Payne and Niall Horan even come to know about your existence.
You still vividly remember the first time you met them. Anyone who says that they are into guys and have never had a crush on one of the One Direction members then they are probably lying because how could you not. There is a whole variety to choose from.
And you certainly had your crushes on the guys in front of you. Asking you the question you always wanted to hear and hence you said, “YES! I would love to be your boyfriend.”
**********************************************
You always loved singing and always loved music. Being a musician, a singer has always been your dream. A dream you were ready to follow no matter what. So you started to write and record music at a very early age. You submitted it to various record houses.
Once you had graduated high school, you music journey began with a call that went like,
“Hello, am I talking to Mr. Y/n L/n?” said a guy with a low deep voice.
“Yes, who am I talking to?” you asked
“Mr. L/n, I am Robert Matthews from a2z record label. You have submitted your music to us, we would like to set up a meeting with you. We really think you have potential”
You couldn’t believe your ears, someone liked your music?
That meeting which you attended was the best thing that had ever happened to you. They had really liked your music and they were interested to sign you. You almost signed the contract that very moment but thought it was better if you actually consulted some people who had more knowledge than you.
You were barely an adult and this was a huge step to take. So after some careful consideration you decided to sign on with them.
But you didn't get the instant gratification you were hoping for when you worked vigorously for a whole year just to get an album. It took time to figure out what your sound will be. How you want your music to be. You also needed a lot of help to write your lyrics and everything.
But after this year, your debut album was released. Save for some singles released by you over the course of the year to introduce you to your audience, this was really a big step for you.
And this is where your life turns upside down. After the release of your album, a lot of people got to know you. Of Course you were no chart- breaking success but your album did well to get you invited to music events and also get you nominated for awards.
You had Niall Horan to thank for some of your success too. On your post about releasing your album, there was a like by NIALL FREAKING HORAN and you were literally screaming when you got a COMMENT by him that went like,
Congratulations on your debut. You sound amazing.’
And this literally got you the free promotion you could have never even asked for.
After wondering what to reply, you just sent a ‘Thank you so much.�� But not without sending him a quick dm.
And this is how you can say their friendship flourished and your old crush that he had stuffed somewhere deep inside reignited. After this, you and Niall talked a lot. Niall was a great mentor to you and helped you a lot with the journey.
A few weeks later you were attending the Brits as you were nominated and supposed to perform. Niall was gonna be there and you both met each other at the show. You were a nervous wreck thinking thoughts of ruining your performance, not winning the show etc.
This is when Niall introduced you to Liam Payne. You could not believe your eyes that he was actually in front of you. You wouldn’t be lying if you said that he was hotter in real life. All those muscles looked delectable. And what you had only thought about in your dreams, was actually happening. You were sitting across your crushes and having a conversation with them. It is actually surprising how you were calmly talking with them without choking on your tongue.
The whole night, they kept you company and talked about all sorts of things to calm your nerves. They told you about their first experience and how they felt. That helped you somehow. Even though you did not win the award, your performance was amazing. And you received some applause for it too.
This meeting led you, Niall and Liam getting closer than before. You even decided to invite them to the opening show of your tour. While it was a small tour, it was very good for a budding artist. After the show, they took you out for dinner as a celebration.
This led to you feeling comfortable with them and so did they. And hence they told you that they were dating each other for the past 4 years. You were surprised to say the least but very supportive of them. You told them that you are gay too and they were extremely supportive too.
You guys had dinner with each other often and the media thought this was a mentor- mentee relationship. Which it was but you had wanted more. After finding out that they were together, you did not want to ruin their relationship and so you decided to distance yourself. Not directly but emotionally.
With this, he started to flirt with other people, hookup with them just trying to get himself over a relationship he never even had.
What he didn't know was that Niall and Liam also wanted him as much as he wanted them if not more.
Oblivious to your want being matched, you continued flirting with other people. When you went to an album release party of some famous singer, whose name you couldn't remember, you were flirting with someone you really didn’t care about. That’s when you spotted Liam and Niall talking at the other side.
“I’ll be back in 5 minutes.” you told the guy you were with and went to talk to the guys.
“Heyy I did not know you were going to be here. It’s such a good surprise.” you said hugging them.
You had some small talk and parted to go back to your hookup for the night.
Little did you know, they had been looking at you all this time. Seeing how you were talking to some guy who wasn’t them. Getting close to him, hardly any space between you. Bodies pressed together, slow and sensual movements, whispers in each other's ears, those chaste kisses and how you laughed at his jokes. They were seeing everything and the only thought in their mind was, that should be us.
Your fingers grazed his bicep and other on his neck, while his being on your waist inching lower and lower as time passed. That is when Liam and Niall decided that this is it. You were theirs and they will show you today.
When they stalked towards you, you and the guy were already making out with each other. After feeling a presence, you turn around and see Liam and Niall standing there. The look in their eyes was something you had never seen in the past almost year you had known them. It was something raw, anger, jealousy, lust? You couldn’t figure it out.
“Lets go Y/n” Liam said with an authoritative voice that sent a chill down your spine.
Without any question, you followed them despite the protests from your partner for that night. You shot him a ‘I’ll call you later look’ and left.
After going out, you finally managed to find your voice and asked in a low voice, “Where are we going?”
“To our hotel room.” Niall replied.
Liam did not say anything and after this neither did Niall. The ride to their hotel room was quiet and awkward. The sexual tension thick in the air. They let you enter the room first and before you could say anything, you were backed up against the wall by two taller guys and somehow they felt extra tall.
“What do you think you were doing?” Liam asked, staring in my eyes.
You gulped and replied, “What did I do?”
“Hooking up with other people when you want us and we want you. Teasing us like this. That is what you did.” Liam answered your question leaving you in complete shock to know that they want you. You looked at Niall for confirmation and his eyes said it all. He did not verbally reply but a slight nod made it clear.
You must have been blind to not see their interest in you. Lost deep in your thought, you did not realise when you ended up on the edge of the bed. When your legs felt the bed, it brought you out of your thoughts. You ended up with your back to the mattress. Liam and Niall looked at you like hungry predators who had just found their prey for the night. You gulped nervously wondering what is gonna happen to you.
Noticing this shift in your behaviour, Niall being the sweet man he is, asked, “You want this too right?”
“Yes, yes I want it. I want you guys. Please.” You replied hurriedly looking at both of them. Niall smiled and inched closer to you.
“Look at him Niall, we haven’t even touched him and he is already hungry for our cocks. What a slut.” Liam said with a mocking smirk. His dirty talk led to an involuntary moan coming from your mouth to which he only seemed to be more pleased.
“What do you want, baby boy? Tell us exactly what you want so we can give it to you.” He continued making you more and more flustered.
“I want you to fuck me.” You tried to reply as plainly as possible but your reddened face was betraying you.
“Come on Liam, don't tease him that much.” Niall laughed, turning to kiss you, giving you the first intimate moment of the night. His kiss was soft and inviting. It was teasing your lips making you want more. It felt different than any other kiss you hav had yet. Soft but equally dominating. Passionate but filled with love. His tongue licked your lips and you parted them to give him entrance. Both your tongues lapping each other and he let you win the game of dominance.
All this while, Liam was busy making quick work of the three of your clothes. He undressed himself and Niall first after which he moved on to you leaving all three of you in underwear. You felt a shiver once he was done with your clothes.
You and Niall broke the kiss to catch your breath. Liam got next to you, took your face in his hands and said ,”My turn.”
His kiss was much different than Nialls. It was rough, passionate and dominating. It was hard. He kissed you like you were his source of oxygen. You moaned when you felt lips on your neck. The source of them was Niall. This gave Liam the perfect time to enter your mouth. Your tongues fought for dominance but it was no fight at all. He had already won.
After kissing for a while and Niall covering you in marks, you ended up with puffed lips and red spots covering your neck. You probably looked ruined already and this was only the start.
“Whose a better kisser Y/n us or the guy you were with ?” Liam asked, still being jealous about the night.
“You both. I can’t even remember his kiss. I only remember your lips.” You said lustfully.
The answer seemed to satisfy him as he turned to Niall and asked, “How do you want to do this Niall?” He ignored your presence as he asked this like you had no input on how the night goes.
“Whatever you decide.” Niall replied.
“I’ll take his ass, you take his mouth.” Liam said nonchalantly.
And this is how you ended up on your hands and knees with Liam prepping your ass and eating you out while Niall takes your mouth.
Liam starts by licking a long stripe from your balls to your hole. He slowly pushed his tongue in the tight heat of your hole and you let out a moan at the intrusion. He pushes his tongue deeper at your sounds. Niall settles near the headboard taking off his underwear and bringing his cock to a semi hard state. He puts a finger in your mouth and you suck at it expertly.
Once Liam is done with eating you out, he lubes his fingers up and enters one finger in the tight ring of muscles. Seeing the discomfort on your face, Niall tries comforting you.
“Relax for us baby, let us take care of you. We’ll make you feel good.” he said running his fingers through your hair and kissing you softly.
Liam enters another finger and soon another opening you up for their big nice cocks.
Once he feels that you are loose enough, he and Niall enter you at the same time leaving you perplexed. Niall’s 6.5 inch dick making its way to the back of your throat is met with vibrations from your moans while Liam’s 8 inch dick enters your tight hole slowly but surely.
After both of them have stuffed you up, they start moving. Niall keeps hitting the back of your throat while Liam keeps hammering you from behind making you choke more on Niall's length. Niall has a hand in your hair holding you firmly. And Liam has gripped your hips tight enough that they’ll leave bruises. He marks your back while drilling your hole making you moan and all the sensations go to Niall's dick.
There are praises being thrown at you often enough. You can hardly process most of them your mind being too hazy with all the sex.
You heard Niall say, "Such a good boy, taking us so well."
"He really knows how to suck a cock."
"He is so tight for us. I bet no one has fucked him like this." Liam had added.
Some other compliments that you cannot remember.
Soon enough your weeping cock comes in spurts completely untouched leaving ropes and ropes of cum on the sheets beneath you. This makes your grip on Liam’s cock tighter making his thrusts faster and sloppier. Niall's cock is close by the way he is thrusting and as if on the thought of it, he comes in your mouth filling you with copious amounts of cum which you are left to swallow. He is followed by Liam who comes in you ass and fucks you through the orgasm making you moan and wince from oversensitivity.
After this, they took turns with Niall fucking your ass and Liam your mouth. For the last round, your tight little ass (which wasn’t nearly as tight now) was filled to the brim with both the cocks. You cannot remember how many times you came that night but it was more than you ever have in a night.
At this point, you did not have one coherent thought. You were too exhausted. You could not make out the words Niall and Liam said and neither could you say anything. All you had on your mind was dicks and sex.
After being stuffed by two big and thick cocks, you came one last time which was just watery at this point and passed out from pleasure and exhaustion.
When you woke up, you were clean on clean sheets with Niall on your right, your face against his chest and Liam on your left with your back to his chest. You drift off to sleep again and when you finally wake up, Liam and Niall were awake too.
“Hey there, Y/n. You must be exhausted.” Niall said softly. You just hummed in response not wanting to talk.
“I’m sorry if we were too hard on you.” Liam said rubbing circles in your back. You shook your head and nuzzled closer to Niall’s chest.
Soon enough the three of you woke up and had breakfast from the room service. During this time, you guys talked like you always used to and it felt like nothing had changed.
"Will you be our boyfriend? I know it must be weird for you but we just feel like it would be right since we like you so much." They said leaving you speechless for a second.
But of course you wanted this, how could you not.
“I would love nothing more in the world.” You answered honestly.
They smiled and you gave each of them a kiss. After this, you would need no one else.
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I hope you liked this fic. Like and comment to let me know if you did. Constructive criticism is appreciated. Hate is not. Thankss.
#male reader#x male reader#one direction#niall james horan#niall 1d#niall horan#liam james payne#liam payne#1d liam#bottom male reader#1direction#smut#fluff#threes0me#fanfic
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How to tumblr for artists… my own version
A collection of things that have been working for me, but may not work for everyone
~~~ your posts ~~~
!!!reblog your own stuff!!! you need to reblog your own stuff, there is nothing morally wrong with reblogging your own stuff regularly. in fact, it is morally right to allow the chance for more people to see your artwork.
~~~ queue it!! ~~~ my queue is 500 posts strong. maybe don't try to make your queue hundreds of posts strong in the same day omg but like… once every month or two i'll go through my whole blog and just scroll and "add to drafts" to every one of my own posts i have. then i'll use the "mass post editor" to add content warning tags. and add to queue, and shuffle. and then I write down what the date was for when I last added my posts to be reblogged on queue. this is helped by turning on timestamps for posts in tumblr "dashboard preferences" settings.
queueing is necessary and life saving for me. It takes out so much work with decision fatigue and the anxiety around posting. It also guarantees that even if I suddenly need time off or away from my phone, I don't just disappear and lose all traction. It also breaks the instant-gratification cycle that you expect when you finish an artwork. It's hard to keep creating when you post something and, when you're expecting to get that gratification, you get none... If you queue your new artwork to come out at a later time, you've separated that expectation - with time. It hurts less and contributes to a more consistent gratification thing instead of peaks and troughs.
~~~ tag ya stuff ~~~ when you're making a new post, the first 20 tags are what gets put into the searchable tags. do not feel shame for using lots of tags. shame is the mind-killer. tags are hard. hard to know what to tag a post with. hard to remember the tags. so I found some ways to help myself. maybe they'll help you too. dedicate some time towards just figuring out what tags you want to use. i have a list in my phone notes that i add tags to and reference whenever i'm making a new post. i have the phone right beside the laptop while i'm tagging so that i can just look at it and scroll. tags are the only way for people to find your artwork, other than people manually coming to your blog because they saw you somewhere. there is no algorithm. posting without tags, until you have an established fanbase, is throwing something into the void.
When I'm doing tag research, I look at what people seem to use - when you put something in the search bar, tumblr recommends you some that have a higher following, typically. Looks like this on desktop:
if you like one tag, look at what other people who use that tag also tag their posts with. Observe and learn how this tag is used. search through a bunch of them and write them down.
here's what i got in my notes, for the specific kind of art I post and look for:
these tags are sort of specific to me and the kind of art I make. You'll want to research your own tags, but this is an example of how I keep them organized to make posting more effective. I generally only write down a tag when it's got more than 2k followers. You might be tempted to use the tags with millions of followers, but I've actually found those a lot less functional for small artists. If your stuff doesn't immediately get a bunch of notifications, you're drowned out and pushed to the bottom much faster. But the bigger tags are better than no tags, so I keep them if I can't think of anything else to tag something with.
~~~ post at the right times….? ~~~
fridays and saturdays is when I post fresh new things... usually. every website has it's own peak hours, and you can find those hours in many different online articles that try to sell you social media growth services. tumblr is unique in having later hours.
here's some random graph from google images:
please don't over think this. please don't let this consume the idea of when to post, preventing you from posting at all. it doesn't mean too much - if you post during very active hours, maybe your art would just be pushed down the feed faster. if you post at the end of hours, maybe everyone's going to sleep… if you post at inactive hours, maybe there's less 'competition'… if you post at the beginning of active hours, maybe that's just more time for your post to circulate for the day, if you have enough people reblogging it once it drops....
this also is in EST. So fuck the other time zones, I guess. I'm over here in europe knowing that the "best" time to post would be like 2-3am or something. It's like this for most english-speaking majority sites - higher traffic in north american time zones.
it's also worth mentioning that this is scattered as heck, compared to other social media sites. and it's not like, the activity times of your followers. it's not the best time to post for your niche. this is just tumblr, broadly. all of tumblr.
~~~ Plan ahead for annual dates ~~~
Your artwork will get more circulation if it's posted on a celebratory day. You could just put them on your calendar and if you're wondering what to make, look on the calendar for what's coming soon. For example, asexual awareness day, trans day of visibility, location-specific holidays, etc. Here's my phone notes thing with my own recorded annuals:
I got these dates from googling and reading different articles, but I find that I still miss dates, and then I add them for next year. If you know of some I missed, tell me and I'll add them please <3
~~~ reblog other people's stuff ~~~
tumblr is sorta about ecosystems. things get passed around within groups of people that are all following eachother. to enter this ecosystem, you must engage and reblog other people's stuff too.
if you reblog other artists' stuff, sometimes they'll come over and reblog your stuff too. sometimes they'll follow you back. this is called becoming a mutual. I'll search specific tags for the kinds of people I want to follow and the kind of art I like - those are listed in the screenshot of my tag note under "Tags for finding new people".
I see a lot of blogs out there that are very clean, posts are tagless, and are only for the artists' content. like scrolling through a portfolio. I imagine this is good for people who are migrating to tumblr but already have their own established fanbase from elsewhere.
you don't need to do reblog other people's stuff on your art blog, you can do this on a separate blog. but if the two don't look very closely correlated, it's hard to tell who you are when you're interacting. and hard to make sure people know that you are the same person as your art blog. and you gotta remember to promote yourself on your personal blog.
~~~ have an art tag ~~~
make your blog easy to search!
if i go to your blog, and you've written 'artist' or 'sometimes art' in your bio, i wanna see it… it make me so sad when i don't get to see it. i want to reblog it. please let me reblog it :(
to make a tag on your own blog searchable, you don't need to repost it to add a tag. you don't even need to reblog it. you can actually just go back to the original post and edit it to add your tag. I've seen post people just have their art tag be something like #(blogname)art . you can see my own in my tags image above. if it's very unique, then it'll work tumblr-wide. I think that's good, since the tumblr search function is really weird. Otherwise it should still work if it's not entirely unique, people just have to make sure they're searching specifically your blog to see only your stuff.
I like to have a link in my pinned post where people can click to have immediately searched for my art tag. Convenience is king. Keep in mind that most people are on mobile, and if something isn't immediately clickable, they often won't find it.
~~~ be consistent and be patient ~~~
!!!this time will pass anyway!!! how many notes you have is not correlated with how good you are as an artist. wanting to earn something from your art means you essentially have two jobs. two potentially full time jobs. this shit's difficult. most of the job is promoting yourself. don't undersell how hard it is to do… don't feel bad for not immediately succeeding. I would write about how hard it's been to promote myself, but it would just be long and sad I think.
This isn't a full guide, please feel free to add more!!
I'm sure in another year I'll disagree with a lot of this, it will become irrelevant with time, and I'll have a lot of different opinions. Chip in and share what you've been doing? Teach me? This is very overwhelming. Don't do it all at once, just like, try one thing at a time, and see how it works for you. Your niche might be different. One size does not fit all. If you're confused about some of the things I talk about in here, you might be on mobile. I do most of my queueing and posting from the desktop browser version.
I will update this with more as things change, but I think you'll have to click through to see the updated post
#pinned#beginner artist#small artist#queer artist#trans artist#artists on tumblr#artist support#artistsupport#new artist#art blog#art on tumblr#lgbt artist#lgbtq artist
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The REAL way to manifest
I usually never make posts like this but I find it absolutely insane that so many people are 1) pandering to desperate people in of help 2) advertising methods that not only don’t make any sense and 3) constantly jump ship for the newest shiniest methods. Manifesting is not:
-working for years for one tiny desire
-getting your hopes up and not receiving
-limiting yourself to only small desires like texts and compliments
-being inconsistent in your methods and application etc
-following other people’s advice instead of carving your own path
-any bullshit terms like consciousness vibrations crystals etc
You guys overcomplicate the law way too much. You add in biblical terms long winded essays and scientific data to back up the one things you don’t have or can easily cultivate: discipline, persistence and the ability to stand on your own. If you’re the operant power, why do you need a void, a 10k challenge, a million states to occupy etc to manifest one tiny desire. You don’t need to read thousands of pages of Neville and Edward and whoever else when it comes down: think about what you want as if you have it and you will. That’s it. Stop listening to people who profit off of you having an endless cycle of realizations and long winded conversations than application of the law. Stop listening to people who will constantly have you hooked on the next best thing. Just do it. Make a decision to do it and affirm. Keep affirming until you get it.
On immaturity: stop bullying other people for your beliefs. If you’re the operant power why does it matter to you what other people do? Just be god. God isn’t moved by non believers. He moved the world.
On terminology: I don’t employ the whole it’s already done affirm to remind stuff etc that’s never what has worked with me. Forcing myself to believe it’s already here doesn’t sit right with me. Just ignore all this fancy terminology and apply the law in ways you want. You’re god. Cherry pick what you want.
On instant gratification: I live the idea of manifesting instantly. I live things being easy. I don’t love the over obsession with doing so in the law. I’m not saying a lot of people “rush” things but you focus too much on instantly etc to the point you’re not even focusing on affirming or keeping your mind in check. Just focusing on the 3D and trying your hardest with no avail. Relax. It’ll come and it’ll come quickly. Don’t force it or make it something it’s not.
How to manifest the OG way:
Affirmations = thoughts you repeat for desired results.
Self concept: how tou see the world and yourself in relation to it
Mental diet: flipping negative thoughts consistently to ensure your positive thoughts aren’t being subtracted
Affirming consistently (when bored when walking when thinking of your desire when you want to whenever you feel is best) until you manifests + self concept in check + mental diet = pushed out into the 3D. BOOM. Affirm. Persist. Flip. Empower. That’s manifestation. You’re welcome
xoxo
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When fandoms are going through a quiet phase because there is no new content it is a little sad and discouraging to those of us who are still posting because we like that thing too much and think about it every single second of our existence and feel the need to share our thoughts about it even if only few people will care. As someone who enjoys writing posts/fics, it can be discouraging because I spend time and effort into something and I want people to see it. But I told myself not to care about instant gratification and post whatever the heck I want because if it makes me happy I should continue doing it even if only reaches a small circle of people. The good side to this is that this quietude makes the fandom experience more cozy and it makes me feel like we are hanging out together and we all know each other
#shades of magic#adsom#tlh#the last hours#tid#the infernal devices#the tsc fandom isn't as quiet but it depends of which side of tsc you are a fan of lmao#brb going back to writing a fic for one of these fandoms against the world#Tweety.txt
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adhd talk
the third truly unsung project alongside my film and dissertation was the weird amount of targeted effort i had to put into Completing Anything Big As A Neurodivergent Person Whose Brain Is A Crazy Off The Rails Train Staffed and Patronised Entirely By Multiple Exact Copies Of The Squirrel From Ice Age
which is a description like 99/100 people reading this can relate to, but i think a sentiment i see less often and therefore feel kind of stupid and stubborn and lonesome about is "adhd is innate but is also exasperated by hectic lifestyle/modern instant gratification machines so if i fix my habits around those i can cure myself forever". which is silly and wrong but also i feel abit disconnected from adhd social media culture and cant cope just relating to it (which is all it seems to be sometimes) but learning to harness or tame it to do the things that are really important to me
i felt really cringe tbh having to look up youtube videos of HARVARD STUDENT REVEALS PRO STUDY TRICK and then narrowing it down to specifically adhd-focused study videos and keeping a planner and setting aside specific time to study studying and practising anti-academic meltdown journaling techniques and reading fucking atomic habits but i really didn't want to contribute to my abhorrent academic record following me all through undergrad. in fact i wish i had done this sooner but i was not self aware enough to consider the fact
probably the best change i made was severely cutting down or being mindful of social media time, i don't backread my tl anymore and have more moments of awareness when i find myself dumbly scrolling and realize i dont want to be doing this, and then wondering what i actually Do want to be doing. i keep a book nearby to read, and have also swapped a lot of social media time to sketching-off-pinterest time. reading about the psychology behind social media apps is also super interesting, although i always feel like a paranoid wacko conspiracy theorist talking about it. stuff like how negativity and judgemental behaviour is good for engagement (and therefore ad revenue), and how if all posts on your tl were interesting you wouldn't be as addicted to social media as you are, therefore microblogging employs a slot machine/gacha system where you "roll" for posts by logging on and hope to get a good one. it's a little full on but the more i think of it as a revolting and evil machine the more incentive i have to do something else with my time ^q^
a harder thing to do was, in the late stages of the project, the real crunch time month, avoid everything that could become a huge hyperfixation, and then eventually even minor distractions or fixations. because i know if i got super obsessed with something i'd just be up posting about it or drawing fanart. i had to bar myself from persona 3 remake and elden ring dlc and all these other shiny new releases, and the mobile games i was playing... i look forward to catching up on them now. i took up reading books a lot more because unfortunately thats just not as exciting. in the last month of film work i stopped listening to music on my computer so i wouldnt get drawing or animation ideas to distract me from film work. as of writing this i havent listened to music in like 40 days guys 😱 at the same time i am the kind of person who needs background noise to work, so i have:
watched novum's four hour hereditary video essay three times
watched novum's seven hour midsomar video essay three times
watched that one five hour bojack horseman retrospective twice
listened to audiobooks of the Britney Spears biography, Jennette McCurdy biography, three Playboy Bunny biographies (i was on some sort of lady bopgraphy kick i guess), and a few fiction books
rewatched all of bojack horseman
started on House MD and got a few seasons in before i finished the project, amazingly the perfect show to look away from bc of all the medical stuff, how many lumbar punctures do you need to show like seriously
honorable mention to the learned skill of communication and being honest and picking your battles and killing your darlings which is a larger part of managing mental illness than i cared to admit but one of the hardest ones because it involved confronting things and making big painful drastic changes and then having to tell the faculty about them. sometimes i'd be stuck on a piece of animation work for weeks/months, then go back and change the underlying idea to one i'm actually passionate about, and do the animation work in one day using newly found magical hyperfocus passion power. it's crazy! but being able to be confident about taking those steps rather than keeping on with what you're "supposed" to do went a long way.
i very much look forward to listening to a music and playing some video games properly now and being pulverized like a small victorian child from the sheer amount of fun i'm having. i'd say it was all worth it and a fun experiment in channeling the magical humours of passion and boredom and i hope it will help me with future projects too. i Am super burnt out though x__ x thanks for reading and for all your support up until now!
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I don't know what silly One Piece thing to draw today. Maybe I'll get started on another Stinky Child AU comic (but it will be quite a while before that'll be ready to be posted and I need instant gratification *lol*). I could clean up the Baby 2 sketch. Or do something else Dragon/Crocodile. Maybe even some Lady Crocodile art.
I have a craving, I just don't know what for exactly. X'D
(I did try to draw some SPN art yesterday but it didn't look good. I'll have to come back to it later.)
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