#but I mean not like she has any choice but to stay lmao. like he wouldn’t kill her if she tried. would he?
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numbaoneflaya · 1 year ago
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@summer-solemnly-swears sometimes yeah :/ I’ll imagine or write cute little scenes and shit but eventually again I’m like hmm.. well what if she was going through the horrors again . Anime monologue in the tags as usual
#jilly#no bcs literally actually fr#she gets the epic high and lows of being in a relationship w a man literally nicknamed pisswolf#though funnily enough I’ll usually make my sweet stuff canon (like awww they are on a rollercoaster look she’s making him eat sushi)#and the worst of it (what if he cut off both her legs or gave her permanent brain damage etc etc) does not get canonized#so yes jilly DOES get to have dinner at 7 pm sometimes and cuddle her man to sleep but there’s also yeah. the horrors.#the horrible complicity of being stockholmed into genuinely loving the person who has hurt you more than anything else in the world…#and then sticking around and being willfully ignorant as he continues to do terrible things to living people….#his blood money is paying for her xxl panda plushies#but I mean not like she has any choice but to stay lmao. like he wouldn’t kill her if she tried. would he?#still? is she afraid that he would or that he wouldn’t at this point?#ferret and pisswolf#does she even want to be taken off the leash at this point or would it make her come face to face with that she’s stayed this long?#that she’s liked staying?#and what can he say besides he’s sorry when it’s already too late for anything else#maybe all he wants is for her to be the one to kill him even though he’d kill her if she tried. or atleast sometimes he thinks that that#would be best#other times he thinks anything is possible and it’s just because of her. the girl he tortured and the love of his life
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vaugarde · 2 years ago
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very funny out of context fun fact about my ocs is that dr footstep caused castor’s parents’ divorce
#so explanation. dr footsteps level 5 dialogue implies that there's a social gap between wild and caught pokemon#wild pokemon tend to seek out trainers to join their teams so that they can get stronger and certain types (tough iirc) brag about it#while other types tend to wonder if their friends from the wild would even recognize them if they were to meet again#meanwhile wild pokemon who dont want a trainer are implied to be either prideful of not having a human or resentful that theyre weaker#so. that dialogue inspired me to create the story between castor's parents which i can say bc it has no bearing on the real story lmao#basically dusk was specifically bred to have perfect IVs and a hidden ability and bought by a trainer who didnt exactly neglect her#but didnt give her much of an emotional connection and only cared abt what she brought to the table with battling#so she didnt exactly have a choice in being caught at all nor did she have any choice in her specific trainer.#regardless though. shes in a place where it's supported that wild pokemon are missing out and shes in the best possible position#so she boasts about it and kinda looks down on wild pokemon#bruno meanwhile was an alpha pokemon who was practically pushed and trained into a leadership role since he hatched#he was born in a group of skorupis and its been an unspoken expectation that they are his responsibility#being an alpha also means that he didnt actually need a trainer to become as powerful as he became (reaching around level 75 just being wild#so he also looks down on trained pokemon because he did not have that experience and finds solace in his community#yet at the same time he resents his position bc he never chose to be a leader and he has to pretend to be vicious#when in actuality hes extremely tame for a drapion and wants nothing more than to settle down#so dusk deep down secretly kinda yearns for the wild bc she wants to know what its like and bruno secretly wants a chill trainer#that probably just feeds him and lets him sleep in their yard#meaning that the two of them are Inherently incompatible despite what they believe#bc like no matter what. if they tried to stay together someone would have been miserable#because dusk has no experience in the wild at all and likely would have perished sooner than anticipated#and also doesnt get the rigorous training she desires#while if bruno joined her trainers team then he would be leaving the skorupi to be vulnerable in the great marsh#and joining a team where only his mate would have had an emotional connection to him when community was so important before#and so they both have to stay in their positions and theyre both kinda looking down on one another AND being very jealous of them#so like. they can talk abt how their romance was escapism all they want but it NEVERwas gonna work out. sorry castor#you were always destined to be a child of divorce#id like to think that dusk at least gets a different trainer that still uses her competitively as she loves#but also gives her the affection and friendship and connection that shes always yearned for#but like. way way later on bc when she gives up castor she is extremely deep in the fog and terrified of losing her trainer
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atlabeth · 6 months ago
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(not so) simple finale - anthony bridgerton
masterlist
summary: coercing lord bridgerton into pretending to court you to avoid the affections of a baron is very simple — that is, until it isn’t.
a/n: so um ignore how long every part of this took to come out. i have no excuse. anyways we are finally here at the end!! almost 10k words of proper regency soap opera type shit and it all ends happily i promise. i hope u enjoy because damn this was supposed to be a short one shot and ended up being over 40k lmao
wc: 9k
warning(s): angst, reader is a lil insecure, slightly steamy make out scene, happy ending<333
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You’d never been this restless before. 
Your dreams had a part to play in it. They insisted on tormenting you, though not in the usual way. 
No, these dreams would have been pleasant had they come any sooner. For Anthony Bridgerton appeared in near every single one, with his charming smile and soft eyes and hair you always desired to run your fingers through. 
He would smile at you, offer his arm and walk with you all around the park and the city as you talked for hours. He would compliment you, and you would compliment him, and he would court you as a perfect gentleman would. 
He would kiss you, ravenously so. His hands would touch you where no one had touched before, leaving trails of fire in their wake, would unearth feelings you never could have imagined. He would revere you, near worship you, because in this world you never made such ill-advised choices. In this world, you never dragged him into a worthless scheme that ended with a ruined reputation and a broken heart.  
In this world, he loved you just as much as you loved him, and you never did a single thing to make him doubt that. 
But you were not there. 
You were here, in the real world. Where you were in the midst of reaping what you spent a whole season sowing. 
You were roused from that less than peaceful attempt at sleep—though thoughts of Anthony took longer to disappear—by the opening of your door, and despite your visitor attempting to be quiet, you found your eyes fluttering open against your will.
“Oh, dearest,” your mother lamented, “I did not mean to wake you. I apologize; I merely wanted to check on you. I will return later—please, rest.”
“No,” you murmured, and you rubbed your eyes as you pushed yourself into a sitting position. Small movements were much easier, which at least meant a step in the right direction. “No, stay. Please.”
“Are you sure?” she asked. When you nodded, she closed the door lightly behind her and sat on your bedside, laying her hand over yours. 
She whispered your name, her voice already thick with tears that she was trying to hide. “I am so glad you are alright.” 
“You say that every time you come in here,” you said.
“And I will continue to say it.” She shook her head. “You nearly perished. You should consider yourself lucky I am not in here at all hours of the day.” 
You managed a smile, and she sighed. “How do you feel?”
“Better,” you said. “I am still sore, but much better.”
“Good,” she said. “All I can ask is that you continue to get better.” 
“The rest has certainly been nice,” you said. “Am I still a true lady despite my late wakings?” 
“You have always been a true lady,” your mother assured with a slight smile. 
“I believe you may be the only one that still thinks so.” 
“If you are feeling ready, there is a ball in a fortnight,” she said. “It could be a good way to garner good will again.” You gave her a look, and she held up her hands. “I understand how you feel, but your presence is important. There are… rumors floating about, and we must lay them to rest.” 
“Rumors,” you muttered wryly. “That your daughter is an ungrateful wench and will die a spinster?” 
She said your name sternly, and you shook your head. “I read what Whistledown wrote about me—she’s likely written a hundred more. I do not care what any of them think of me, Mother. I am only sorry for the pain it has caused you and Father, and the Bridgertons.” 
“The Bridgerton name is strong enough to weather scandal,” she said. “We have to work a bit harder. And making an appearance in society again, especially with Lord Cardew by your side, will help.” 
You suppressed a scoff at the mere thought of him. You’d been granted such a reprieve from Lord Cardew because of Anthony’s influence, and while you were recovering, no one but family was to see you. But soon—very soon—he would be your entire life. 
“That brings up another question,” your mother said wryly, and when you met her eyes she was giving you a very pointed look. “Are you still sure about this?” 
No, you wanted to say. You couldn’t be less sure about Jonathan Cardew. But you’d dragged your family into this mess of yours, so it was your duty to fix it. 
Plenty of women married much more dreadful men every year. You should have considered yourself lucky that a man of his breeding, of his standing was interested in you at all—especially after the season you’d spent distancing yourself from him and the scandal you’d caused. 
“...Yes,” you finally said. “I am sure.”
Your mother sighed and said your name. “You are sure? You have not reached out to Anth—” 
“There is nothing left between us,” you interrupted. “I know it is not the best situation, and I know it is my fault, but I am making the best of it. All I ask is that you support me. It is hard enough attempting to make my way through this world—I need my mother to be there for me rather than constantly pushing against it all.”
“...Of course,” she said quietly. “And I am so sorry that I have ever done differently. My dear, all I ask in return is that you understand me, as well as the decisions I make. All I want is the best for you, and I know that marriage is not what you desire, but there are things we must do.” 
“Of course,” you said, and your echoing words spurned a small smile from her. “I am sorry that I have always fought you so much. All I could see was my hatred for any kind of union, but all I managed was hurting you and Father, as well as myself, and— and I cannot think of any apology that will be enough.” You shook your head with a mirthless laugh. “I’ve no idea how you put up with me for so long, truly.” 
“I’ve never had to put up with you,” she said. “I realize I may not have done the best job at showing it, but— but I love you more than anything in this world. Everything I have ever done has been for you, my darling. You are the future of our name, and I know you will do an excellent job at carrying on our legacy.” 
“Truly?” you asked softly. 
Your mother nodded as she took your hands and smiled at you. “Truly. Nothing in this world can change my love for you. You are our greatest accomplishment.” 
You swallowed the sudden lump in your throat as you smiled as well, and you pulled your mother into a hug. She reciprocated, and tears filled your eyes. You’d missed the comfort of her presence so dearly. 
“I love you too,” you whispered. 
-
“Are you alright, my lady?” 
Your lady’s maid's words snapped you out of the stupor you’d found yourself in, and it was all you could do to attempt a smile. 
“Yes, Julia,” you said. “Quite alright.” 
Her brows furrowed as she draped a pendant around your neck, the cold metal turning your exhale slightly shaky. “Pardon my plainness, my lady, but you are not believable in the slightest.” 
“You have been around me for far too long,” you said dryly. “I request another maid, one that cannot read me so easily.” 
Julia offered a wry smile. “You are stuck with me for now, my lady. What is weighing so heavily on your mind?” 
You stared yourself in the mirror as you turned the question over. It was not as easy to answer as it should have been, not when everything was so out of order. Not when you hardly recognized the reflection staring back at you, wrapped in orange silk and adorned in jewels courtesy of Lord Cardew. 
You were not yourself—you were to be Baron Jonathan Cardew’s wife, a baroness and status symbol to hang off his arm and smile prettily, and Baroness Cardew was who stared back at you. 
Only a few more balls remained until the season came to an end, and though Lord Cardew was doing your family an immense service by giving you a second chance, he did not want to wait much longer to make it official. 
It was all planned out. Your relationship would truly enter the public eye tonight with your dances, you would promenade in open parks to have as many eyes on you as possible. He would call on you and your meager staff would be encouraged to spread rumors. Another ball would pass together, enough to hopefully weather some of the scandal you’d created, and then…
Then, he would propose. 
You would accept. 
And the fate you’d been so intent on avoiding would be sealed. 
You swallowed the lump in your throat, blinking back the impending tears. 
“I am nervous,” you admitted. “My decision didn’t exactly feel… real. Not until I was standing at the modiste getting fitted for this gown with one of Cardew’s maids. And all this jewelry…” Your fingers trailed across the raised designs on the pendant. “It makes it even more so.” 
“I can only imagine,” Julia said. “He has certainly put in effort.” 
“And yet it all feels hollow.” You moved away from the mirror and stopped in front of your vanity. The light blue reticule sitting near your jewelry box felt as if it was mocking you. 
Julia said your name with a sigh. “You made your choice. You pushed him away.” 
“I know,” you murmured, tracing the embroidery with your finger. “But feelings do not disappear so quickly.” 
“He wrote letters,” she said. “After you moved from Bridgerton House to recover here, after I refused his calling on you for the hundredth time, he wrote letters and delivered them by hand.” 
You picked at a loose strand of white thread on the purse, jaw clenched so tight you thought your teeth might crack. 
“He told me he did not care if you didn’t want them,” Julia continued softly. “He just needed you to know how he felt.” 
“This is how it has to be,” you finally said, voice shaking. 
“And what makes you think that?” Julia challenged. “You believe you have to live a life of misery simply because half the ton does so in the name of reputation and riches?” 
“Two things I no longer have any of,” you murmured. “Cardew’s pedigree is enough to get both back for my family. It is my duty, Jules, and I can no longer hide from it.” 
Your lady’s maid looked at you with desperation in her eyes when there was a knock on the door followed by your mother calling your name. You nodded your permission and she opened it.
“Lady Worthing,” she said, curtsying just so to your mother. “I’ve finished getting her ready—I’ll give the two of you some time alone.” 
“Thank you, Julia,” your mother said with a smile. She turned back to you, her eyes softer than ever as she moved forward and set her hands on your shoulders. 
“My darling,” she said, “you look so beautiful. I did not lie when I called you the crown jewel of our family.” 
You couldn’t help but smile at her compliment, trying to ignore the tightness in your chest. “Thank you, Mother. I’m glad I can make you proud.” 
She murmured your name, turning you so you faced the mirror. You saw yourself more this time, feeling more assured with your mother standing behind you holding all the stars in her eyes. 
“I have always been proud of you, darling,” she murmured. “Even if I did not show it in the best way. I love you more than words can express. I meant it when I said you are our greatest achievement.” 
You let out a shaky breath, leaning back against her. She allowed you to sink into her and you felt the tears brimming in your eyes. 
“...I’m afraid, Mother,” you whispered. “To marry. To be a wife.” 
She was silent for a moment, busying herself with adjusting your jewelry before she spoke.
“I was afraid too,” she admitted. “I hardly knew your father outside of a few promenades, and one lovely bouquet of flowers. It was almost fully arranged by our parents. But when he proposed, he vowed to always be my friend, and to always take care of me.” 
“Has he?” you asked. 
“Yes,” she said. “We did not love each other on our wedding day. But he has always been kind to me, and he has always advocated for me, and we have always been there for each other. We love each other now, in our own way. And,” she smiled, smoothing down the lace on your sleeves, “together, we brought you into the world. I would do it all over again if it meant I would get you in the end.” 
You could not imagine considering Lord Cardew a friend, nor the opposite. He saw you as just another pretty jewel to adorn himself with. 
Anthony saw you as a friend— as more. He always listened to what you had to say, always entertained your jokes with some of us own, never talked down on you. He saw you as an equal. 
 “I do not know if any woman is prepared to marry,” she finally said. “Even those that marry for love still have initial doubts. There are so many expectations of our behavior when we are told so little of what we must actually do.” 
“How do you do it?” you asked. “You married a man you didn’t know. You raised a child. You held face against a society that shamed you for only having a daughter.” 
“All you can do is trust in yourself, and in those around you,” she said. “If you are with the right person, everything will feel as natural as breathing. You will not care what anything thinks of you, because there is only one opinion that matters.” 
There was one man you felt natural around, one who you felt you could speak your mind around and not be judged. One man that you’d fallen in love with, that surely hated you in return for what you’d done to him. 
Your voice came out as little more than a whisper. “What should I do, Mother?” 
“You know what you must do,” she said softly. “All I can do is support you.” 
-
You’d rubbed your palms on your dress at least fifteen times since you’d arrived. A fruitless effort, considering you were wearing gloves, but you could not stand still. 
Your conversation with Lord Cardew had taken everything out of you, your dance with him even more so—an especially damning fate seemed ahead of you. But you could tune him out well enough, at least. 
It was an entirely different deal when the Bridgertons showed up. 
Violet walked in arm and arm with Anthony and Benedict, and Colin had a loose hold on Eloise. And to make matters worse, Daphne Bridgerton, alongside her husband the Duke of Hastings, were making an appearance. What an honor, to have the chance to embarrass yourself in front of such highly ranking nobles. 
Eloise branched off immediately after they passed the threshold, much to the protests of her mother, but your mother immediately pulled you in their direction. You could only imagine her thoughts—if she could get the Duke of Hastings touting for the Worthings, that would make things much easier.  
Anything for the optics, you supposed. But when you met Anthony’s eyes for the first time, you had to avert your gaze. He just looked so damn sad. 
“It is good to see you again, Violet,” your mother said. “And it is an honor, Duke and Duchess Hastings.” The both of you curtsied, and you could see the Duke’s slight smile. 
“I consider it my honor to meet the woman who has been the center of such conversation this season,” he said. You felt the heat rise to your cheeks, and thankfully Violet stepped in. 
“It is good to see you as well, Cecilia.” Violet smiled as she looked at you. “Especially you, my dear.” 
You bowed your head. “Thank you, Lady Bridgerton, Duke Hastings. I am grateful to be here.” 
Benedict smiled, the notion warmer than anything you deserved. “You look lovely, Miss Worthing. Especially for someone who escaped death with such recency.”
Anthony’s eyes remained on you the entire time, and more than anything you wished you could read this mind. The man probably hated you, and he had every right to do so. You just wished your feelings for him weren’t so insurmountable. 
You swallowed the lump in your throat and smiled as believably as you could. “Thank you, Mister Bridgerton. You also look well.”
Your mother nudged your shoulder and your gaze met Anthony’s once more. He still hadn’t looked away from you. 
You bowed your head once more. “Lord Bridgerton. It… is good to see you.”
No wonder you actually ended up falling in love with Anthony. It was the only way anyone could believe this ruse—you were quite an awful actress. 
Anthony lowered his head as well, his poise stiff. “A pleasure, Miss Worthing.”
“We’re glad to see you’re doing well,” Violet said, her smile a bit thin. You could only imagine the conversation that would occur between her and your mother later. “You caused us all quite a scare.”
“Oh, Anthony was so worried,” Daphne said, pressing a hand to her chest. “I’m thankful we have the chance to attend this ball so I could see you in person.” 
“I’ve recovered well,” you nodded, and you looked at Violet. “My family and I thank you immensely for your kindness and your doctor’s care. We’ll be in your debt endlessly.”
“There is no need for that,” Violet said. “It is enough that you are still here.”
Your cheeks burned but you tried to smile anyways. You wanted to burrow into a hole and never come out. It seemed the Bridgertons were capable of endless grace in public when they surely had to despise you. 
“Eloise has run off somewhere over near the strings,” Benedict provided in the silence. “I’m sure she would appreciate your companionship tonight.”
You glanced at your mother and she nodded, and your smile at Benedict was much more genuine. “Of course. I’ve been meaning to talk with her.” 
You mouthed thank you to him when your mother could not see, and he nodded. He’d always been so decent to you. 
You could not help but glance at Anthony as you went, and his gaze followed you. He would resent you if he had any sense, but it seemed the opposite—the sadness in his eyes was fatal.
You took a glass of lemonade from the refreshments table when you passed it, needing something to do with your hands. You found your way to Eloise’s side soon enough, and her eyes lit up when she caught sight of you.
“It is so good to see you,” she breathed. “I’ve only just arrived, and I’ve already had to fend off suitors. They just cannot seem to understand I hold such little care for them.” 
“I am just as glad to see you,” you admitted. “I do not think I can get through this night alone.” 
“I cannot imagine why,” Eloise said sarcastically. “I’ve heard the news. And I must say, it is your poorest decision this season.”
Your laugh was mostly out of surprise, and you nearly dropped the flute of lemonade you were holding. You were on edge far more than you expected—you almost wished your glass was full of champagne. 
“At least somebody is speaking plainly,” you murmured, your gaze distant and unfocused. “I think the rest of your family must hate me, but they’re all too kind to say it.” 
Eloise frowned. “Why would any of them hate you?” 
Your grip tightened on your glass. “Because I caused an immense scandal and then ended things with Anthony?”
She huffed a laugh, her eyebrows now rising. “Our family has weathered many a scandal, and we are still here. Or have you forgotten how Daphne’s dearest husband chose to court her?”  
“That is different,” you insisted. 
“I think it is worse, actually,” Eloise said plainly. “Simon is a duke, and Anthony nearly killed him before Daphne knocked some sense into him.” She chuckled and shook her head. “Truly, it was a disaster. We Bridgertons have a knack for them.” 
“As do I,” you said with a loose laugh. “I was stabbed, Eloise. I nearly died in your brother’s arms.” 
“And we nearly died in our drawing room,” she said. “Anthony, most of all. He cares for you immensely.” 
“Surely he cannot,” you insisted. “Not after what I’ve done.” 
“I am not blind,” Eloise said, “and neither are you. So do not demerit our intelligence and pretend as if you do not see it.” 
“I— I know.” You wrapped your arms around your midsection, and you grimaced as the jewelry on your wrists brushed against your skin. You were covered head to toe in finery that didn’t belong to you, and you itched from the inside out. “But I don’t know where to go from here.” 
“It’s quite obvious, isn’t it?” Eloise looked across the room, where Lord Cardew stood talking to your mother, and then over at her brother, who couldn’t have been less interested in the lady trying to strike up conversation with him. Then her gaze fell to you. “You’ve got a choice to make.” 
“I’ve already ruined things,” you murmured. “I— I can’t just back out of this.”
“I can tell you that you certainly haven’t ruined things with my brother. And Lady Whistledown’s speculation is the only thing binding you to that lecher.” Eloise shrugged. “You’ve already broken off one courtship. What’s another?”
Your eyes met Anthony’s from across the room. Once again, he’d already been looking at you. You averted your gaze quickly, feeling the heat rush to your face, and you tried to steady your breathing. He had no right to still have such an effect on you. 
“I need some air,” you murmured. “Will you—”
“Of course,” Eloise said. “You are simply touching things up in the powder room.”
You nodded your thanks and slipped out of the ballroom, finally able to drop the facade you’d been trying to uphold. You truly felt as if you were overheating, and the cool air was hardly of aid once you reached the outdoors.
Everything was all wrong—your dress, this damned tiara, the bracelets and the necklaces and every jewel that Cardew thought he could buy you with. 
It all belonged to him. You would not be another prize on his shelf. 
You couldn’t help yourself. You began to shed the jewelry as your pace sped up, ripping bangles from your wrists and pendants from your neck—by the time you reached a deserted area of the gardens, you were considerably lighter and considerably close to tears. 
You let out a frustrated sob as you slammed your fists against some artistic stone structure. It earned you nothing but pain, but it grounded you in some strange way. You tore off your gloves and threw them to the ground, a shaky breath escaping you as you screwed your eyes shut and  pressed your palms to your forehead. 
You could not marry traditionally, you could not follow through with your feelings for Anthony, and now you could not follow through with this ill-advised plan. 
Were you truly this useless? To bring ruin to two families with your knack for destroying things for it all to amount to nothing? You waxed poetic about the life you thought you deserved to live, about going to university and gaining your independence and never marrying, and yet here you were, near tears in the gardens of the ball you were meant to reenter society at. 
“Miss Worthing.”
The whispered words blared through the silence, and you knew who it was without having to turn around. It still sent a shock through you, your breathing faltering for a moment. Your eyes stayed shut. 
“Why are you here?” you asked, your voice watery. 
“You do not know me if you think there is anywhere else I would be,” he said. 
“How did you find me?”
“I followed the trail of jewels. You’ve left an awfully expensive path in your wake.”
“All of it is worthless,” you mumbled, finally letting your hands drop. “It all belongs to Lord Cardew.”
“You’ll have made a magpie very happy.” 
“Enough with the jokes,” you said. “Why are you here?” 
“Why do you think?” Anthony asked with a slight laugh. 
“I do not know,” you responded. “That is why I asked.” 
“I am here because I want to talk to you,” he said. “You cannot just avoid me for the rest of the season.”
You turned away. “I can try.”
“I will not let you,” Anthony enunciated. “I will not let you make the biggest mistake of your life because you believe it is your duty.”
“If you are here to change my mind, you are wasting your time,” you said stiffly. 
“I don’t believe I have to do anything,” Anthony said. “It looks as if you’ve come to the conclusion yourself.” 
“And what makes you think that?”
“You have not even glanced in Cardew’s direction this entire night,” he said. “You’ve been looking at me instead.” 
“Because I have felt your eyes on me with every moment.” 
Anthony huffed. “Can you blame me? This is the first time I have seen you since that night.” 
“Then you should remember my words from that night,” you bit out. 
“Why are you so intent on pushing me away?” Anthony begged. 
You scoffed. “Why are you so intent on bothering me?”
“Because I cannot stand here and watch you marry another!” he exclaimed.
Your brows furrowed and you turned around. Anthony stood in front of you, his outfit impeccable but not at all looking put together. Desperation colored his eyes, and you saw how truly undone he’d become. 
“I— I thought I could, but I cannot.” He shook his head, a muscle working in his jaw as he glanced away. “Every moment you are in the vicinity of that man is a test of my strength. And I do not know how strong I am.” 
“I don’t understand,” you said hollowly. “You should hate me.” 
“I could never hate you,” Anthony murmured. “I thought I could, when you first told me of your plans, but— but I could hardly even dislike you.” A wistful smile tugged at his lips as he shook his head. “My mother had been bothering me for nearly a decade to find a wife and settle down, but I thought love was a fool’s game. I would have my fun as a bachelor, and then settle down with the most advantageous match. There was no need for further emotional baggage—when you love, you can lose. And I refused to lose again.” 
For a moment, your heart stopped in your chest. He lost his father, he nearly lost you, and then you pushed him away like he meant nothing. 
“Anthony—” you whispered, but he shook his head. 
“Please,” he said. “I have a lot to say.” 
You nodded, and he did as well. 
“Our deal was perfect for that. You were nothing but my sister’s nuisance of a friend—a bad influence that I could never see as more.” You could not help your soft laugh, and Anthony’s smile turned a bit more genuine. 
“But then we spent more time together. I… truly began to know you.” He shook his head with a chuckle. “You shattered every preconception I had of you. I began to look forward to our meetings, to our promenades—I would get home from calling on you and could think only of the next time I would see you.” 
“Throughout it all, you made me realize I was worthy of love,” he said. “You— you made me realize that I wanted it. That I wanted you.” His throat bobbed, and you could see his eyes glistening. “That I loved you.” 
You could hardly find the strength to speak. You felt as if you could melt into a puddle at his feet just from his words. You were so intent on avoiding Anthony because you couldn’t stand the thought of hurting him anymore— you believed he would be better off without you, without the scandal you’d dragged him into. 
But he… he loved you. 
He loved you just as you loved him. 
“I do not expect you to share any of my notions, and I know you value your freedom more than anything,” Anthony murmured. “So if it is not me you wish to be with, I understand, and I will accept it without complaint. I just beg of you—do not become that wretched man’s wife.” 
All you could do was stare at him for a moment more, words beyond your reach before you finally managed to speak through your emotions. 
“I tried to tell myself the exact same thing,” you said softly. “That you could not be happy with me. That I could never be happy chained to another—truly, that I could never love. Not when freedom is what I have always desired most. But Anthony…” you moved forward until you were mere centimeters apart, unable to suppress the shiver that ran through you at the proximity, “I have never felt more free than when I am with you.” 
“Miss—” Anthony started, but he paused and shook his head before saying your first name instead. His eyes were softer than anything. “Are you truly…?” 
“I could never fathom you sharing my feelings,” you said thickly. “That is why I pushed you away. But I love you, Anthony Bridgerton. And I think I have loved you for quite some time.” 
You swallowed the sudden lump in your throat, turning away so as to not betray the fullness of your emotions, and though you opened your mouth to provide some excuse, you were not granted the chance. 
Anthony’s hand encircled your wrist, pulling you back around, and just as soon did you feel his lips against yours. The tightness in your chest dissolved almost immediately as you all but fell into him, Anthony wrapping his arms around you to support you as your hands found purchase on anything they could. 
Your focus became devoted solely to the feeling of him, his soft lips against yours even as they plied for access. Anthony held you as if his only desire were to protect you from the world, and it made you feel a way you’d never even imagined. Only when air became a necessity did he pull away, his labored breaths in contrast to the pure adoration in his eyes. 
“Never in a thousand years did I think you would feel the same,” he murmured, his hands cupping your face on either side as he gazed into your eyes. “I thought myself a fool, falling for the one woman I could not have. You’ve no idea the relief it brings to hear you share my feelings.”
“I suppose I am just as foolish as you,” you breathed. Your heart felt as if it could burst. 
The corners of his lips quirked up in a smile. “I cannot imagine what my mother would think—that after so long spent searching for a wife, I fell for the one woman who never wanted the title.” 
You let out an airy laugh, relishing the feeling of his skin against yours. “Nor did I see myself falling for the one man who resented the chains of marriage as much as I.” 
Anthony pressed his lips against yours once more, and your hands traveled up until they tangled in his hair. You kissed until you were nearly breathless, but Anthony still managed to pull a very unladylike sound out of you as he bowed his head, kissing down the line of your jaw, your neck, until his teeth nipped your skin just above your decolletage.
“Anthony,” you gasped, clenching your fingers as they buried themselves further into his dark locks. You had never been this close with a man before, never this intimate — you never thought you would even desire it. 
But Anthony lit a fire inside of you that only he could quench, and yet the only thing he seemed to do was stoke it further. It was equally maddening and dizzying, the control he so effortlessly had over you. 
“I never knew how much I would delight in hearing you say my name,” he murmured, his lips trailing against your skin. “No more Lord Bridgerton, I beg of you.”
“I should think I’d like to hear you beg—” you breathed, but Anthony cut you off yet again as he pulled you into another searing kiss. You could hardly stand it anymore as your hands fell down to his shoulders, and you pulled away for just a moment as you began desperately undoing his waistcoat, Anthony taking the hint and removing his jacket. 
“These buttons were not designed with the needs of a lady in mind,” you huffed in frustration, fumbling fingers failing to make progress, and Anthony chuckled breathlessly.
“Have we finally found something I best you in?” he asked, and you rolled your eyes with a smile.
“Just take it off.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Is that all?”
You groaned as you looked at him. “If you insist on teasing me this way, Lord Bridgerton, I shall go back inside and act as if nothing has happened.”
“There is no need for idle threats,” he defended, and you bit back your smile. Anthony made deft work of his waistcoat, and the second he tossed it aside he was back on you. 
“Besides,” his voice was a whisper a millimeter from your ear, and warmth blazed in your core, “I believe I told you to call me Anthony.”
“And I believe you should have to try harder than that.” You smiled into his kiss as you trailed your nails down his back, the thin fabric of his dress shirt doing little as you felt his involuntary shiver. 
“You’ve no idea the effect you have on me,” he groaned, once again dipping his head as he peppered even more kisses down your neck, sliding down the sleeve of your dress to allow himself better access. 
The night air on your newly freed skin did little for you, any coolness of the breeze instantly negated by the heat of Anthony against you. Your nails dug into his back as he moved down, each spot where his lips touched your skin erupting with fire. 
You gasped out his name, barely able to handle it—the feeling was so foreign yet familiar, as if you had been waiting all your life for Anthony in this way. 
You could hardly believe you nearly lost it of your own accord. 
“It appears I do not have to try hard at all,” he said, “the way you cry out for me.” 
You laughed breathlessly, though his words were indeed true. You knew, in this moment, that you would do anything for Anthony Bridgerton—and he would do anything for you. “How I fell for a man as irritating as you, I haven’t the slightest.” 
You caught the slightest glimpse of his grin before he ducked his head yet again, and he had only just begun pushing both sleeves of your dress down when a woman’s voice could be heard behind you. 
“Anthony— oh!” 
The unfamiliar voice struck fear into your heart you had never felt the likes of before. Anthony moved away from you quicker than you’d ever seen, you just as hasty as you tugged the sleeves of your dress back to where they belonged and attempted to smooth out everything that Anthony had so easily sullied. 
You’d never imagined this was how your reputation would be ruined, with Anthony Bridgerton in the gardens of some ball, but when you finally had the sense to look and see who had caught you in a most uncompromising position, you could hardly stifle your incredulous laugh. 
“Sister?” Anthony questioned in disbelief, so many emotions warring on his face you had to turn away to cover up your growing grin. 
“Anthony,” Daphne greeted in kind, fighting to conceal her smile as her eyes drifted to you. “Miss Worthing.” 
“Your Grace!” Your shaky fingers were hardly of use to you as you pulled your gloves back up to where they belonged and once again ran your hands down the skirt of your dress to smooth out the wrinkles. Your cheeks burned under her gaze and you were innately aware of the fire underneath your skin brought about by Anthony’s touch in contrast to the cool night air. “What brings you here?” 
“Mother was quite… nervous about tonight,” she explained. “She indulged in one too many glasses of champagne, so she is taking her leave with Benedict for aid. She requested I find you to alert you of her departure, but it seems she was not the one whose disappearance should have been questioned.” 
“I’m sure you know this is quite compromising.” Thinly veiled amusement crossed Daphne’s face as she eyed you pointedly. “I am afraid you must marry him at once Miss Worthing, else I shall have to duel you to protect my brother’s honor.” 
You laughed breathlessly as Anthony looked up at the sky, his face turning a deeper shade of red than you had ever seen. “Your Grace, are you suggesting that I have ruined him?” 
“Indeed I am,” she confirmed, and you could see how it took every muscle of her being to retain a serious image. “This is not a light matter, miss. I do not understand why you are laughing.” 
“Daphne,” Anthony groaned, avoiding her eyes as he occupied himself with his jacket. “Why do you insist on being a nuisance?” 
“Anthony,” she inflected his name the same way he did hers, “I cannot have this woman sullying your name! I know it was of no will of your own, but this can not stand as is. But do not worry; I am prepared to defend your honor to my last breath.” 
“My sincerest apologies for what I have done, Duchess Hastings,” you responded gravely. “I am prepared for pistols at dawn.” 
Anthony huffed as he buttoned his waistcoat back up then went to retrieve his jacket from the bushes. “You exaggerate, the both of you. This cannot be what I was like last season.” 
“You were worse, brother. But do not worry,” Daphne said with a grin, “I should think a taste of your own practices is only fair after all you put Simon and me through.”
Anthony sighed with a slight roll of his eyes. “I… suppose… that it is what I deserve.” 
“Thank you, brother,” she said. “I only wish we had a witness just so your confession is forever remembered.”
“I wish Mother had not sent you to seek me out,” he responded dryly. 
You and Daphne exchanged smiles with each other before your expression sobered slightly. “ I ask quite a bit of you with this, Your Grace, but… may I count on your discretion? I know we jest, but my reputation truly could not handle something like this. I do not know if…” you glanced at Anthony before looking back to her, “if we are yet ready to seal our union.” 
“Of course,” Daphne nodded, and a relieved smile tugged at your lips. “I shall not tell a soul.” 
“Thank you eternally, Your Grace,” you expressed, but at your short curtsy she shook her head.
“Please, call me Daphne.” She offered a smile of her own, slightly coy. “After what I have just witnessed, I’ve no doubt you will be joining our family soon enough.” 
“Sister!” Anthony scolded, and when you glanced at him his entire face was dusted pink, even the tips of his ears. It was enough to make you swoon. “You cannot just say things whenever you see fit.” 
Daphne merely shrugged, joyfully indifferent to her brother’s protests. “I outrank you now, dearest brother — I believe I can say whatever I see fit, particularly when it is the truth.”
“You are truly impossible,” Anthony muttered as he shook his head. 
Daphne just smiled before she looked back at you. “I believe it best if the two of you leave at separate times, so as to not allow room for any rumors. Miss Worthing, you should go first and return to your mother; you can claim you simply needed fresh air. Anthony and I will stroll around the grounds for a bit before allowing ourselves to be seen — we are simply catching up after such a stretch spent at Clyvedon.”
You nodded, taking a deep breath as you smoothed your mussed hair and wrinkled dress for the last time. Anthony certainly did a number on you, in more ways than one. “Thank you again, Your—” you caught yourself, correcting your error with a small smile, “Daphne. 
“You may count on me in the future whenever I am in London,” she reassured. “It is my hope anyway that I shall be able to welcome you to the family officially.”
“Daphne!” Anthony exclaimed yet again, glaring at her. “Might you take your leave so we may have a moment alone?” 
“I believe you just had quite a few moments alone,” Daphne said, but a pointed look from her brother had her conceding with a smile. “Alright. I will be by the trees when you need me.” 
Anthony turned to you with an odd look in his eyes when Daphne was out of hearing distance, and when he did eventually speak, his voice was far softer than usual. 
“Do you truly believe I would not marry you?” he asked, and the underlying hurt in his voice did not go unnoticed. “Even if there were not the risk of a scandal, I would not hesitate. My entire heart lies with you.”
“It is not you, Anthony,” you sighed with a slight shake of your head. “I do not… I do not know if I am even capable of marriage.” 
He frowned. “What do you mean?” 
“I have spent my entire life running from it,” you said, chuckling softly, “and yet, here I am, the one thing I never thought I would be.”
“In love,” Anthony realized, and you nodded. 
“It has always been easy enough to denounce marriage when I’d never experienced anything of the like. The union of my parents was for convenience rather than love, and for as long as I’ve been alive my mother has tried to drill it into my head that my feelings did not matter — so long as the man had the means to provide for me and was not completely awful, he was satisfactory.”
“A future like that— it was so completely absurd to me that denouncing it all was the easiest thing in the world. And then I nearly died and my entire world changed, and I decided that Cardew was the best option to allow myself to completely separate emotion from marriage, but now…” you looked at Anthony, feeling more vulnerable now than ever. “I have found a love in you I’ve never thought possible, and I cannot stop imagining a life with you. And that terrifies me more than anything.” 
“But…” you trailed off again and you turned away from him as you wrapped your arms around yourself. “But I do not know how to approach my future, especially one where we are so closely intertwined.” 
Silence hung in the air for a noticeable period before Anthony cleared his throat, and it was obvious the care he put into his words. 
“You know I never imagined I would marry for love. Truly, I never intended it—I expected to be miserable in marriage. I saw it as nothing more than another duty to take care of. I believed that love was trivial, a ridiculous distraction. You are the one who made me see differently.” 
You turned around with slightly wide eyes, your arms wrapped around your midsection doing little to ward off the cool night air that seemed far colder than it was before. Anthony’s gaze never left yours, the softness in his own at odds with the pure, unbridled passion. 
“I love you. Though I have only just allowed myself to accept the fact, you are someone that I cannot imagine living the rest of my days without. There was…” his throat bobbed as his voice crackled slightly, “there was a moment when I feared the worst, that you would permanently disappear from my life. And ever since you were all but brought back from the dead, I have known that you are the only woman I wish to be with. It is why as soon as I left you, I asked my mother for this.” 
Anthony took a box out of his pocket, and you gasped as he got down on one knee, your hands flying up to cover your mouth. 
“This is the ring my father proposed to my mother with, and their love was beyond anything I have seen before. But it is the love that I feel for you, something so strong, so overwhelming— something I never thought I would experience. And yet here I am, madly in love with the one woman who scorned me with every word, and only pursued me because of my brand as a lesser evil.” 
A laugh bubbled out of you, the sound slightly muffled through your gloves, and you could not help it as your eyes began to fill with tears. 
“I admire you; all of you. The part that loves her family with every part of her being, that looks out for those with less than her when those more fortunate turn a blind eye. The part that fights for the rights of her sex when it is so much easier to just bow one’s head, that puts her happiness on a rightful pedestal— the part that is so terrified to share herself with others and yet deserves a love of the purest form.”
“And I am aware of how the unknown is a fear of yours, as it is one of mine. But I assure you—” Anthony’s voice was filled with such passion, his eyes with such love, that you could hardly stand it, “—I will be there for you every step of the way. We will face our fears as one, and we will shape the future ourselves, not to be bound by anyone or anything.” 
“I do not know where my future will lead me, but I know I do not want to face a single second of it without you. If you do not feel the same, I understand, but I will not be able to live with myself if I do not at least try. It is why I ask you,” Anthony said your name with more love than ever before, “will you marry me?”
“Yes,” you sobbed, a smile breaking across your face even as tears of joy streamed down your cheeks. “Yes, yes, I will marry you!”
Anthony let out a sigh of relief as he grinned, and after he slid the ring on your finger he stood up and pulled you into a breathless kiss. Nothing picture perfect like you’d heard about as a young girl, the kind of effortless gentleman’s act— Anthony kissed you with pure passion, love, desire, and it nearly brought you to your knees. You thought it would have, were it not for Anthony’s strong arms wrapped around your waist, pressing you against him and supporting you. 
You could hardly believe the same man who treated you as if you were glass after your injury was the one standing before you now, the one who handled you in such a way that could get the both of you exiled were anyone to see—the one that you thought hated you.  
And you were more than willing to allow it to continue, to surrender yourself fully to your baser instincts, when you remembered something that made your eyes widen.
“Your sister,” you murmured between kisses until you finally managed to pull away, albeit reluctantly. “Daphne is still waiting.”
Anthony laughed breathlessly as he pulled you back in, and your earlier protest was shown to be completely nonsensical. “Let her wait.” 
You grinned as he peppered kisses down your neck, enjoying the sensation until you pushed him away. “Anthony.” 
He groaned. “Why must you be a better person than I?”
“Believe when I say it pains me,” you said. “But the last thing we need is yet another scandal by my hand.” 
“Let them know,” he said, taking your hands in his. “Let all of London know that I love you, that we will be wed. I do not care what we have to face so long as we face it together.” 
“The thought has never been so tempting,” you murmured. “But you should at least alert your sister. It would be improper to make her wait out here all night for nothing.” 
His grip tightened on your hands. “So you do wish to leave together?” 
“Anthony, I just accepted your proposal,” you said with a laugh. “I wish to spend the rest of our lives together.” 
“I believe tonight is a good place to start, then,” he grinned. 
Anthony would not let you leave his side, so you went to Daphne together. First she saw your smile, then her gaze drifted down to your hand—she looked knowingly at her brother, though she could not hide her smile either. 
“It would appear as if I was right,” she mused. “I am always right when it comes to you though, Anthony, so it is not much of a surprise.” 
“Do not mock me,” Anthony said. “I could have left you waiting by the bushes all night.” 
“If you had not proposed to her after the conversation we had the other day, I would have questioned your sense,” Daphne said. “Trust me, I would not have been here long.” 
Your eyebrows rose. “What conversation?” 
“We do not need to start on this,” he said with a pointed look at his sister. “I have already bared my entire soul tonight. I do not need my sister embarrassing me further.” 
“Oh, I would never,” Daphne drawled. “After all, there will be plenty of time for us to gossip together when I come to visit you all.” 
“Won’t you be busy with your child?” Anthony asked. 
She shrugged. “You may be busy with one as well by the time I see you again.” 
You looked at Anthony only to find his gaze was already on you. There must have been some shred of doubt in your eyes, because he only took your hand in his. 
“I meant what I said,” he murmured. “We will take things as slowly as you desire.” 
You swallowed the sudden lump in your throat and nodded as you squeezed his hands—you knew what was expected of you as a wife, and you wanted it with Anthony, but you could not lie and say that his reassurances did not bring you relief. 
“My best wishes to the new Viscountess Bridgerton,” Daphne said, her voice full of affection as she clasped her hands together. “It is an honor to have you join our family.” 
“It is an honor to be accepted,” you said, bowing your head. 
Daphne smiled. “I assume you want to reveal this on your own terms.” 
You nodded. “I’ve dealt with enough attention from the ton lately.” 
“I am afraid to say that will not go away,” she said wryly. “But I will cover for the two of you.” 
You pressed a hand to your chest. “Thank you.” 
“It is only proper to welcome my sister in such a way,” she said with a wink, and you could not help but smile. “Now run along, you two. Before rumors start.” 
Anthony chuckled, and the two of them embraced before you started on your way.
“Viscountess Bridgerton,” Anthony murmured in your ear. “I love the sound of that.” 
You hummed in agreement. “As do I.” 
You laid your head on Anthony’s shoulder as you walked back with your hands intertwined—not to the ball, but to a carriage for the promise of time alone. You glanced over at Anthony and he smiled, and you pulled him to a stop as you pressed a kiss to his lips. He responded with hunger, the same vigor he displayed when you first stepped into the gardens together, and you could hardly believe he still had it left in him. 
Far too many minutes passed as you kissed and kissed and kissed, not a single care in the world of someone catching you. What could they do? You’d already endured enough scandal to weather anything, and there was no way to punish you and Anthony — you were already engaged. 
Your lips were sure to be bruised once you finally pulled away, Anthony gazing at you with complete adoration as he brushed a strand of hair behind your ear. 
“I cannot believe you are to be my wife,” he murmured. 
“I cannot believe you are to be my husband,” you breathed. “When will we reveal it?” 
“Tomorrow,” he said, intertwining your hands with his own. “Tomorrow, we will tell everyone, and we will deal with everything that comes along with it. But tonight…” 
“It is our secret.”
Anthony nodded. “Tonight, we start the rest of our lives together.” 
“The rest of our lives together,” you murmured. 
Truly, it sounded like a dream. Months ago you could not even consider the thought of marriage without an air of disgust—now, here with Anthony, you could not stop thinking about the fact that you were to be his wife. 
The rest of your life with Anthony would be anything but simple.
And yet, somehow, you could not think of anything more perfect.
-
taglist, only bc this series has been going on since i still had a taglist lmao. @ifilwtmfc @readers-post @fangirling-galore @funkydinosaurs @baby-i-am-fireproof @mess-is-my-aesthetic @likeballet @mdkfh @brezzybfan @magical-spit @lafy-taffy @miss-celestial-being @mercurysrhapsody @evilsailorsenshi @mainstreambitchlife @aangsupremacy @chloepluto1306 @lostaudfound @panhoeofmanyfandoms @blhemmings @my-acrylic-heart @seninjakitey @vlodi @arianagrandes-things @preciousbabypeter @youraliendaddo @stupidlittlebei @illuminwtesz @eringaitskill @otheliesstuff @users09 @chloepluto1306 @lady-loki-barnes-djarin @m-rae23 @the-horror-and-the-wild-simp @diemdurantia @theyoungestchild0w0 @mschievousx @alwaysreading1019 @ibelieveindragons141 @pretzywetzy
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libraryofgage · 1 year ago
Text
Good Vibrations Two
This AU got a lot more attention than I expected actually hfjdks I'm so glad everyone likes it!
Anyway, here's part two! We get some concert, some peeks at how Robin helps Steve navigate social situations, and a little Eddie having an itsy-bitsy crisis over Steve's fashion choices.
Have fun! And, as always, if you see any typos, no you didn't (especially for this one since I wrote most of it on my phone actually lmao)
----
Steve stares at the shirts laid out on his bed, arms crossed over his chest. Choosing jeans had been easy, but choosing a shirt is giving him trouble. What do you wear to a metal show at the local dive bar for a small-town band in which the lead singer is a long-time and way-out-of-your-league crush that you've been holding a candle for since the first time you saw him laugh on top of a cafeteria table?
You definitely don't show up in a plain black shirt, that's for sure.
The lights in the hall outside Steve's room flicker, switching off and on three times. Steve just barely notices, which means he doesn't get his pants scared off when Robin appears in the doorway, grinning at him while pocketing the key to the front door he'd given her months ago into a messenger bag. "Hey, dingus," she says, striding into the room and flopping onto the bed.
Steve rolls his eyes, yanking the shirts out from under her and laying them once more over Robin's stomach and legs. "What shirt should I wear?" he asks.
It takes a few seconds for Steve to look from the shirts to Robin, and she patiently waits until he's staring at her to say, "Just pick one. Nobody's gonna care what you're wearing."
"I care," Steve says, frowning as he looks back at the shirts. For the aforementioned crush reason, Steve cares very much about the shirt he wears. "What says 'Hi, we've never talked before but your music is the only thing I can hear and I think your hair is in desperate need of quality shampoo and also I've been halfway in love with you since, like, sophomore year'?"
Robin considers the question for a long moment before picking up a red sweater. "This one says 'I'm horny'," she offers.
Steve blinks, staring at the sweater for a few beats before laughing. "But I'm not," he says.
Despite looking at Robin, she happens to angle her head toward the sweater, and her response is lost on Steve. He frowns, waits until her jaw has stopped moving, and says, "I didn't get that."
After Robin first learned about Steve's deafness, he'd been overly anxious about asking her to repeat things. Somehow, it was worse to constantly ask when the person knew he couldn't hear well, if at all. But Robin had never shown annoyance; she'd just adjust her posture, make sure Steve could see her lips, and repeat her words. She does all of this now, and Steve gets to read her joking response, "Yeah, but you will be."
And, yeah, she has him there. Steve huffs and collapses onto the bed beside her, sacrificing the shirts. "I'll need a jacket," he says, turning his head to look at Robin so he can read her response.
Instead of words, though, he sees her face light up, and she jumps off the bed. Steve sits up, watching as she digs in her messenger bag before pulling out a t-shirt. "Remember when I stayed over a few weeks ago? And you let me borrow a shirt? You should wear it!"
Thankfully, Robin waits until she's done talking to throw the shirt in Steve's face. Honestly, he only understood a few words ("remember," "borrow," and "wear") but he's gathered enough context clues to get the gist of things.
He spreads the shirt out, humming at the Iron Maiden design. It's not one he wears often; for the most part, it's a shirt he wears on lazy days at home because of how soft it is. But as he's studying the design, Steve is suddenly hit with a stroke of pure genius.
He quickly changes into the shirt and then grabs a varsity jacket (not his letterman, but one he'd seen at the mall and bought on a whim because it used a nice shade of yellow) off his desk, tugging it on over the shirt but leaving it unbuttoned. After a few more seconds of digging around, he finds sneakers under the bed and tugs them on.
"Okay," he says, turning so Robin can see the outfit from every angle. He comes to a stop when he's facing her once more, hands buried in his jacket pockets, and asks, "What do you think? How's it look?"
"I think you'll give Eddie a crisis," Robin replies, wrinkling her nose at the varsity jacket. "Not, like, a bad one. But he'll probably ask where you got the shirt from."
Steve grins, thinking that sounds about perfect, and turns to study himself in the mirror. It's a surprisingly solid blend of metal and jock, and it makes him feel oddly confident, the same way he felt the first time he did his hair just right and everyone complimented it.
"Perfect," he decides. "Let's go."
----
The ride to the Hideout isn't exactly quiet, but it's not like Steve can talk and drive at the same time. So it's filled with music blasted as high as it can go on his car stereo, causing the whole vehicle to vibrate with each beat. When he finally turns the car off after parking, Robin grimaces as she rubs her ears.
She waits for Steve to be in front of her before saying, "We're putting the windows down next time."
"Oh. Sorry," Steve says, rubbing the back of his neck a little awkwardly as Robin dismissively waves off his apology.
"No, it's fine, I'm just saying. Now, let's get inside before they start."
With that, she loops her arm through Steve's and drags him into the Hideout. They're hit with a wave of cigarette smoke, spilled beer, and sweat as they walk through the door, the combined smells making Steve dizzy. He frowns, leaning closer to Robin as she squeezes his arm. He feels her thumb tap him twice, their code for asking if the other is okay.
"I'm fine," he mumbles, nodding to a table in the corner. "Let's go sit. I just need to get used to...everything."
The lights are weird, too. Despite the place being dim, the few lights that are on are flickering, and Steve is having trouble processing all the new information his (working) senses are taking in.
Thankfully, Robin pulls him over to the table he pointed to, a small circle near a stage of dubious sturdiness. It looks like it can barely hold the instruments, much less those plus the people who will play them. There's an amp on the side of the stage near the table, which means they'll have the perfect spot to feel the music's vibrations. Steve slides into one of the chairs there and closes his eyes, resting his arms on a table that is surprisingly not sticky.
He feels Robin move the other chair next to him, slide in, and start pulling things out of her bag. When Steve opens his eyes again, there's a notebook between them and a variety of pens in all different colors spread out across the open pages. Robin has already picked up a red pen and is writing with it as Steve chooses a purple one.
When Robin is done writing, she taps the page so Steve can read, "Want something to drink?"
"I'm not sure we can trust the glasses here," he writes back.
"The fact you're calling them "glasses" tells me everything. Just sit tight."
With that, Robin drops her pen, winks at Steve, and heads over to the bar where a woman is wiping the counter. Steve watches her for a few seconds before looking around at the other people in the place. Most of them are sitting in groups, talking amongst themselves. Most of them also have mustaches or beards, making it downright impossible for Steve to read their lips.
Instead, Steve just gets a dull kind of rush in his ears, an ever-present background noise he can't escape. Soon enough, maybe because he's thinking about it too much, a high-pitched ringing starts up in his right ear, growing and growing in pitch until it's all he can focus on. Steve grimaces and looks down at the notebook, trying to keep his shoulders relaxed so he doesn't look as tense as he feels. The ringing persists, and he rubs his ear like that's going to help.
His ear is still ringing, though it has started to diminish, when a water bottle is placed in front of him. Steve jerks, forcing himself to calm down as Robin slides into her seat again with a mug of beer that's more foam than anything else. "They're about to start," she says, waiting until Steve has nodded once to show understanding before taking a sip.
Steve looks up at the stage and wonders how he missed Eddie and his friends arriving. As his friends are setting up behind him, Eddie is resting one hand on the neck of his guitar and using the other to hold the mic close to his mouth. Steve can't read his lips, but Eddie's grin is a little contagious as he says something to a guy by the bar. The guy must say something back, because Eddie bursts out laughing, his head thrown back to show off a neck Steve wants to bite.
A tap on his arm brings his attention away, and he looks at the notebook to see Robin has scrawled out a transcript:
"Eddie: Thanks for coming out tonight, everyone
Guy: Fuck off, Munson
Eddie: Love you, too, Jeremy"
Steve snorts, looking up to see Robin's equally amused smile as she continues to write on another page. When he glances at the stage, Steve sees Eddie still talking into the mic, his eyes roaming over the audience until they reach Steve and Robin. Eddie seems to grip the mic tighter, and he holds Steve's eyes for a few seconds, giving just enough time for Steve to wave awkwardly before Eddie looks away. But his smile seems a little bigger than before, and Steve is happy to let himself think he caused it.
When he looks down again, Robin has finished writing, and she nudges the notebook closer to him. Eddie must talk fast, because her writing is almost indistinguishable from chicken scratch in dirt that a cat got dragged through. Thankfully, Steve is an expert at this point.
"Eddie: Anyway, you know the drill. We'll start with some Metallica, treat you to Iron Maiden, throw in a dash of Black Sabbath, and then grace you with a Corroded Coffin original. If you don't like it, not my problem."
Steve feels the beginning of the set as he finishes reading. He sits a little straighter, planting his feet firmly on the floor and placing his palms on the table with his fingers spread. Robin is still writing next to him, most likely transcribing the bits and pieces of conversation she can hear for Steve to read later and laugh at. She doesn't try to get his attention while she does, already knowing it won't be worth it after Steve has shifted into Music Mode.
In the same way that people can tell what song is playing based simply on the first note, Steve can sometimes tell based on the strength and length of the first vibration. In the same way people know the lyrics of songs after listening to them enough times, Steve knows the vibration patterns like the back of his hand. In the same way people who hear their favorite songs played live can tell when a note is wrong or a lyric is sung too fast, Steve can tell when the drummer or bassist makes tiny mistakes that wouldn't be caught otherwise.
And Steve loves it. He loves how his entire body thrums with each vibration that travels from the amp. He loves how he can close his eyes and picture a story based on the music, one that probably doesn't match the lyrics but tends to replace them in his heart. He loves that this is something he can still share with his friends, even if most of them don't realize how different his experience with music is.
So, for all the little bumps and dips that occur in the vibrations as Corroded Coffin plays, for all the tiny slips that certainly go unnoticed by anyone else, and for all the fact that Steve doesn't get to hear Eddie's voice, he can confidently say he loves the show. He's never heard the songs played like this before, and it helps diminish the gut-deep desperation for new music.
And then Corroded Coffin starts a new song. It's one Steve doesn't recognize, one with vibrations that are completely foreign to him, and he jerks his head up to watch Eddie play his guitar in an opening solo. It thrums across the floor, climbing up his legs and spreading in waves from his palms on the table. Steve feels goosebumps chase after it, a new wave washing over him when the guitar solo ends with a particularly strong vibration that's immediately followed by the drums and bass.
Eddie throws himself into the music, moving and twisting and strutting around the stage like he's playing to Madison Square Garden. Steve can't look away, the lyrics incomprehensible but replaced by the jerk of Eddie's hips and the tilt of his head and the little half-spin he does on his heel.
It ends too quickly with one final, reverberating strum that lingers in Steve's bones, burrowing into his marrows as Eddie pushes his hair back and grins into the mic. He says something breathlessly, his shoulders rising and falling rapidly as he tries to catch his breath, and Steve knows he's gone.
He's hopeless.
He's desperate.
He needs more Corroded Coffin, more Eddie, in whatever form he can get.
----
For the first time, Corroded Coffin gets genuine applause after playing. Usually, the patrons of the Hideout will politely clap (if they even notice the set is over) for about two seconds. Tonight, however, Eddie and his friends are graced with excited clapping, a few shouts, and one very strong whistle from a small table to the left of the stage. And it spreads because even rough biker dudes can fall to peer pressure when it's that enthusiastic.
So, yeah, genuine applause all because of Steve Harrington and Robin Buckley who, Eddie thinks, is surprising company for the former King of Hawkins High. No matter how unexpected, he should still thank them and ask what they thought of the set now that it's over. He carefully sets his guitar on a stand and glances over his shoulder, catching Jeff's gaze and flashing a grin. "I'll be right back," he says before jumping off the stage and heading over to Steve and Robin's table.
As he gets closer, he notices the notebook and pens spread out, colorful writing filling the pages and Steve grinning with amusement as he reads it. Robin is watching him like she's waiting for him to understand an inside joke already so they can laugh about it together. If Eddie didn't already know Robin was like him (band camp, summer after his junior year, during an unfortunate game of Seven Minutes in Heaven where they awkwardly stood in a closet together before Robin commented on his black bandana), he'd wonder if something was going on between them.
"How'd you like the set?" Eddie asks when he reaches the table, suddenly nervous enough to tug on a lock of his hair and pull it in front of his mouth.
Robin looks up, but Steve doesn't. He's still reading the notebook, snorting at whatever is written there like he didn't hear Eddie. It's not until Robin elbows him that he raises his head, eyes widening when he sees Eddie. "Sorry, could you repeat that?" Steve asks, his gaze dropping to Eddie's mouth (Eddie definitely isn't imagining that) and faltering some.
"I asked if you liked the set," Eddie says, frowning slightly as Robin grabs a pen and scribbles something on the notebook. It's too small for him to read, but he doesn't miss how Steve glances down for less than a second before his eyes light up with realization.
"Oh!" he says, looking back at Eddie and flashing a charming grin. "It was great. You guys are so loud, and I've never f-uh, heard anything like your original song before."
Eddie catches the way Steve fumbles, faltering like he wanted to say one word but forced himself to say another. Something is tugging at the back of Eddie's mind, but he can't quite grab onto it just yet. For now, he leans forward, placing both hands on the table so he can be closer to Steve. "You listen to metal often, Harrington?" he asks.
Steve stares at his mouth for a few seconds before nodding, and Eddie feels the thrill of learning something completely unexpected. "I like Black Sabbath best, but Judas Priest and Guns N' Roses are close seconds," Steve says.
"Yeah?" Eddie asks, "What do you like most about it?" He wants to know. Does Steve Harrington (King Steve, Steve "The Hair" Harrington, Steve fucking Harrington) like metal for the same reasons he does? Does he like the stories and the passion and the heavy theatricality of it all?
Steve seems to hesitate, possibly thinking about how to answer, before finally saying, "I like how it's music I can feel. When I listen to metal, it digs into my bones. Other music doesn't."
Somehow, Eddie's grin gets impossibly wider, and his cheeks are hurting from the sheer force of it. He's about to say more when Robin glances at the clock and swears under her breath. "Shit, I promised Mom I'd be home ten minutes ago," she says, grabbing the pens and recklessly throwing them into her bag.
It's the movement that seems to catch Steve's attention, and he looks down at Robin's hands before looking up at the clock. "Oh, fuck, your curfew," he says, looking at Robin like she hadn't just said the same thing two seconds ago.
"Yeah, no shit, dingus," Robin says, pausing long enough to speak while looking straight at Steve before throwing the notebook into her bag, too. She jumps to her feet and hauls Steve out of the chair, making his varsity jacket fall open to reveal an Iron Maiden shirt.
And Eddie thinks his heart just about stops. He doesn't know why, but seeing Steve in a metal band shirt under an undeniably jock jacket makes him feel....something. This is, like, sacrilege, right? How dare Steve Harrington allow Metal and Jock to meet? Doesn't he know the two styles clash? Or, well, they're supposed to clash, but Steve somehow wears them well, and Eddie thinks he's upset and annoyed by the fact.
Before Eddie can analyze that feeling, Steve says, "Sorry to run, Eddie. You played really well. Let me know when the next show is."
There's a lot to unpack there, too. Steve Harrington wants to come to another Corroded Coffin gig. Steve Harrington is sorry he has to cut the conversation short. Steve Harrington thinks his band played really well. Before Eddie can say anything in response, Robin is dragging Steve away, throwing a goodbye over her shoulder.
Eddie doesn't want Steve to go without something, though, some kind of departing word, so he shouts, "See ya later, big boy!"
Steve doesn't look back, but Robin nearly trips over the doorway. She then pauses long enough to say something to Steve, watching with sheer delight as he splutters and glances at Eddie before dragging her through the door. Eddie couldn't stop the grin if he tried, and he didn't try.
Later, when Eddie is sprawled on the floor of his room, staring up at the ceiling and thinking about Steve's stupid combination of Metal and Jock, he'll be struck by a sudden, consuming thought. What if Steve was wearing just the Iron Maiden shirt? What if he wore just the jacket?
Eddie swallows around the sudden lump in his throat, his mouth going dry as he scrambles to his feet and gets ready to take a very, very cold shower.
----
Tag List (the tag list is completely filled up! There definitely wasn't enough room for everyone who requested a tag orz
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leqonsluv3r · 5 months ago
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Hey, do you have a lot of requests rn?
I'd have a fic idea👀 so reader (female) would have been taken to Leon's family for some reason, been living there sometime now and Leon's dad just despises her and makes her do gross chores or whatnot, being mean for no reason, degrading a bit and Leon would let it happen, just kinda watch from aside but quickly enough he'd feel bad and would apologize for his dad behavior and tell her that he (Leon) doesn't feel that way, that he actually likes having her around etc. He could be plotting to kick his dads ass for it but the reader would stop those thoughts, then they'd talk and some things leads to others and soon they're making out and they have sex?! 🫣 You can decide if either one is a virgin or both🤔
my own cinderella
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—re!4 leon kennedy x fem!reader
—a oneshot (request)
masterlist taglist
warnings: MDNI, 18+, virgin!reader, kinda dom!leon, best friends to lovers, leon’s dad being an asshole, reader is definitely like cinderella (loosely), grinding, lots of kissing and making out, unprotected pnv action, he’s soft with reader but not rough either (if that makes any sense lmao), they both love each other but they’re too chicken shit to admit it, reader is female and uses (she/her) pronouns, leon calls reader princess, nipple play, oral (f receiving), aftercare.
“she’s the sweetest thing in his life. always has been since they were kids, she was the lace to his leather. the flowers to his dirt, the sugar to his salt. so when he needs her, as her best friend. he takes her in, takes care of her. as they get older, he grows attached. having her living in his house, living this close. he needs to help her, to love her. his father is taking advantage of her, letting her pay him back in chores. she was his princess, he needed to save her. what better way then to just have her all to himself?”
—or leon gets his very own cinderella and gives her the happy ending she deserves
an: i’m so sorry this took so long to get written. my life has been a crazy mess lately. i’m still unpacking and decorating my new place, working and all the other shit that comes with life. i hope this is what you wanted, pls reblog and like, i appreciate it <3 it’s super long, a gift for being MIA for so long my lovelies.
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she started living with leon and his family when she was around 15. it wasn’t her first choice of course, she was supposed to go live with her aunt in maine. but leon was one of her best friends, they were practically next door neighbors.
but when her aunt was tested for drugs and came back as an unfit guardian for her, leon’s father stepped in and made sure she had a place to live.
she loved that she had a place to stay, especially with leon around. everything wasn’t so scary. her parents getting sent to jail for embezzlement…wasn’t on her bingo card for that year. but leon made it okay, he made her laugh and he made sure she was comfortable staying with him and his family.
she got to keep attending the same private school as he did, got to experience life with her friends. she got somewhat of a happy ending.
at least that’s what it looked like from the outside.
what came with leon’s father taking guardianship over her, came with her getting the brunt of the chores. doing laundry for him and his family, cleaning all the rooms of the large house. it was things that she didn’t sign up for but she got to live in a large house with her best friend.
that was good enough? right?
wrong, even the years that passed as she became older became more difficult. especially when she turned 18 and the guardianship broke. she couldn’t leave because she had no money to her name, plus, leon’s dad offered to pay for her college courses.
so on-top of trying to attend lectures and do the loads of homework that came with being a college student. she had to stay and keep “working” around the house that should’ve been her sanctuary that was anything but.
she felt miserable but it wasn’t all bad, leon stayed home with her. he took a gap year, plus his dad was away a lot. she knew she should keep her wandering eyes to herself, that she shouldn’t have a crush on her bestfriend. she should just mind her own business and work until she can pay off her debt.
but no, he was there.
he was so handsome. so sweet to her, he always had been. she didn’t know how he was still single. he had the money, the title that came with his last name and the looks. if she was any other girl, she would’ve snatched him up by now.
but this was a different reality, leon was her friend. she couldn’t think of another reality where he was anything but that. where his thoughts were anything past platonic.
only if she saw the times he would look at her when she was bending over to clean, the times she didn’t see him looking. the dark blue of his eyes tracing her curves with just a small widening of his irises.
then she would know his thoughts were way past platonic and had been for a very long time.
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one day in particular, leon’s dad was gone on a buisness trip. she had cleaned the entire house with the help of the maids, making sure her list of tasks was completed for her “guardians” approval.
she was sitting in her room, looking at the assignments on her desk. she knew she had so many classes that she needed to finish her assignments for. she had just been so busy with her chores or tasks, she hadn’t even had time to start her homework.
she started working and as she did, she got so immersed into it that she didn’t notice leon who was standing at her open bedroom doorway.
he cleared his throat and she whipped around in her desk chair, “christ! leon!” she says with a small gasp as she looked at him. he crossed his arms over his chest, “studying hard, princess?” he says with one of his famous smirks on his face.
the nickname he always called her had stuck from childhood and it still made her blush, she tipped her lips up in a crooked grin. “i didn’t know you’d be home today.”
he shrugs and walks into her bedroom, looking around at all the various things hung on the walls, he sees a couple pictures of them as kids. “i had an off day.” he says as he smiles at the picture of the them as kids.
she follows his eyes and tilts her head, “do you remember that?” she gets up from the desk chair and stands beside him, looking at the pictures on the cork board.
he looks from the cork board full of miscellaneous pictures of them, the one he saw in particular was a picture of them when they were 11 and they were getting they’re faces painted. she remembers that day, it was one of the happiest days she’d ever had. her parents were not in jail, her and leon were happy kids and things hadn’t gone to shit yet.
he nods, “yeah, that was a good day.” he says with a look of nostalgia on his face. he was the only constant good thing in her life and they both knew that. the only good thing she could rely on.
he has the urge to tell her things that he’s said a thousand times, but now it feels different since the change inside of him.
since he started looking at her differently, since he started feeling things deep down that he normally wouldn’t feel in a situation like this.
but his best friend was living with him, had been living with him for years because of her parents. his dad had been kind, gracious even and offered her a roof.
he knew that she worked her ass off, made the house and the mansion look impeccable with the help of the maids hired by his father.
but he still wanted her, wanted to take her away. he wanted to do something, he wanted her. he needed her and he was going to have her.
one way or another.
because she was his princess and she deserved more then what was given to her.
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later that night, he was staying home instead of going out. normally on a friday night he would be hanging with his friends or going to the bar. but tonight, he was staying home.
he didn’t know how much longer he could take of watching her move around his orbit and not be his. how much menial labor he could watch her do for his father until he snapped. he wanted to scream and yell at his father, tell him it was unfair. but it was like trying to convince an ocean not to be blue, completely out of nature.
but he wanted to give her a break, give her something that she could latch onto so things didn’t seem so terrible. he already had her as a best friend, his love…went way beyond platonic.
so did his attraction.
so he offered for her to watch a movie with him, like when they both were kids.
she had obliged, she needed a break from studying and homework anyways. she was coming up on her midterms for her classes at college and she was losing her mind.
so this was a welcome distraction, he was also the welcome distraction. she had noticed changes over the years in him, his hair and his facial structure. more importantly, he’d been going to the gym. a lot.
his muscles almost needed their own names, they were a part of them. but they were huge. she had never seen muscles that big on any man ever. he could probably crush her like a grape, the thought was welcoming as it was arousing.
she shouldn’t be attracted to her best friend, not when she’s living under his dads roof and basically living here somewhat rent free.
but she was a girl, she had eyes. how could she not ogle him when he was mowing the lawn or had come back all sweaty from the gym? it was human nature. that was her justification in her mind, she was free to look but not to touch.
she’d ruin her friendship and her living situation if she even kissed him.
at least that’s what she thought.
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they had been watching the movie for about 30 minutes when she felt his hand on her leg. she didn’t think much of it at first, it didn’t bother her.
she just thought that maybe it was accident and maybe he was just needing some comfort. excuses that she made up in her mind to make herself try and not feel the attraction that was pulsing in between her thighs.
she shifted under his hand on her thigh, letting him rest it there comfortably. out of the corner of her eye she could see the way his hand laid there almost protectively.
however, about halfway through the movie his hand was holding protectively and tightly to her inner thigh. so close and yet so far from where her clit was pulsing beneath her sweats.
she licked her lips, her mouth feeling dry. she didn’t dare look over in his direction, then he would know that this was affecting her. that his possessive and small hold on her leg was affecting every nerve ending in her body.
she prayed that he would just forget it, move his hand away. that was one part of her anyway, the other part wanted him to dip his fingers underneath her underwear and sweatpants.
but the was the horny part of her.
she swallowed when he gripped the fat of her thigh, hard. making her clit pulse in her panties and her pussy practically start drooling. she keeps her eyes on the tv, trying to get rid of the not so PG thoughts that were circulating around her brain.
but he was determined, unbeknownst to her.
he leaned over next to her and brushed some hair back behind her ear with his free hand, making her shiver. “got something on your mind, princess?” he says in a low timbre that she had never heard before.
she felt something inside of her change after he said that, his hand still roughly gripping at her thigh. she willed her mouth to work and words to leave it. she shakily exhaled, “leon…your hand on my thigh…” she says weakly.
she wish it would’ve come out better, not the words she would’ve opted before but it was something. she felt nervous, aroused and a million other things all at once. her virgin body didn’t know how much more it could handle.
“what about it?” he whispers as he lowers his mouth to nip at the shell of her ear, she felt like that alone would make her moan but she tucked her bottom lip between her teeth, keeping quiet.
“feels good…” she mumbles out as she leans into his touch on her leg, trying to subtly get his fingers to move closer to where she really needed them. he chuckles softly against her ear, “poor baby, i’m touching your thigh and your already a mess.”
his mocking only furthered her arousal, made her underwear uncomfortably wet. she turned her face to look at him, her nose brushing against his. their close proximity on the couch made her mind fuzzier then usual.
“you sure about this, princess?” he says softly against her lips, their breath mingling together. she thinks for a second, feeling the warmth of him and his hand squeezing her thigh roughly but with a tender sweep of his thumb.
does she want to ruin her friendship for the attraction she’s feeling? yes, yes she does. she might regret this later but a part of her thinks she can trust him. she’s known him for years, he’s her best friend, they’ve seen each other at their worst.
so when she says, “yes.” she doesn’t regret what happens next.
he smirks widely against her lips, his hand squeezes her thigh more. his lips press against her and she moans a little against his lips.
they make out for what feels like an eternity, her hands intertwined into his hair and their lips never leaving each others. the movie drowning on in the background and they both couldn’t care less.
she ends up on top of his lap, not even noticing that she’s grinding on his pants. she knows what it is she’s grinding against, she wasn’t born yesterday. she’s read smut book upon smut book in her lifetime.
he groans against her lips, carding a hand into her own hair and tugging on it as he feels her grind against his erection in his pants. “keep doing that and i’ll bust in my pants.” he whispers with a low husky chuckle in between kisses.
she feels her cheeks flush, “sorry.” she whispers with a tinge of embarrassment in her features, pulling back a little and her movements against his hips stopping. he brushes some hair out of her face, seeing her pink flushed cheeks.
“don’t be sorry, princess. i just don’t think you understand what your doing.” he says with a small daze in his eyes, she finds herself leaning into his touch on her hair. she blinks at him, “i knew what i was doing…i think?” she says with a small doubtful furrow of her brows.
he shakes his head and laughs, knowing that she knew some things but probably not a lot. “let me ask you something, okay? from one best friend to another?” he says with a small tilt of his head, letting his hands coast down to her hips and hold her protectively.
she nods and blinks at him, adjusting herself on his lap a little. he takes a deep breath and gives her a reassuring smile, “are you still a virgin?” he asks her softly, not a hint of judgement in his voice. there’s was no ulterior motive, he just wanted to know.
she swallows and nods, letting a shaky breath leave her pink lips. he kneads at her skin between her sweats and her top, making sure he can comfort her in some way. he knew that she never got anywhere with guys, half the ones she chose were complete idiots anyways.
“do you want to lose it?” he says softly, another gentle question that’s not close to being an ulterior motive. he just wants to understand where her head is at right now since they kissed.
“i do…i mean, yeah.” she shrugs as she stumbles over her words a little, her cheeks still flushed easily. he thought that the way her cheeks turned red, her eyes wide and docile. it was cute, it was something that only she could pull off. if any other girl did that with him, he would be gone in a matter of minutes.
but she was different. she wanted to lose it. he just needed to make sure, make sure she understood what he was going to ask next.
“well, if you wanna lose it…i’ll give that to you.” he says gently as he caresses the skin of her hips. she blinks at him, still feeling the blush on her cheeks. she doesn’t know how to feel, should she feel nervous? feel like the butterflies are going to burst out of her stomach?
he was giving her an opportunity to lose it, to take care of her, make her feel better. he was her best friend, she trusted him more then anything. but still, she felt nervous. he would be seeing her naked, it would be intimate and vulnerable.
but also, she loved him deep down in a way that was way more then platonic.
so that’s why she leaned forward and kissed him, pressing a kiss to his lips. he smiled against her lips and gripped her hips tighter, taking her kiss as an answer.
“are you sure?” he mumbles in between kisses, making sure she’s not going to regret this later when it’s over. she nods and keeps kissing him, resuming her movements on his hips, moving them against his erection that was still very much there in his boxers and jeans.
she moans softly against his lips as she keeps grinding on him. she wraps her arms around his neck and carding her hands into his hair. she’s taking it one step at a time, listening to her gut and the butterflies swarming it.
he keeps his hands on her hips, almost guiding her as she rolls her hips over his. he groans against her lips, keeping her with him. he doesn’t want to ever let her go.
he didn’t realize that the butterflies in his own stomach were swarming wildly, attacking him when he was keeping her this close. all it took was kissing her, teasing her, holding her ontop of him.
it was years of friendship that had bubbled up into something that they both ignored until now.
he lightly guides her to lay back on the couch, pressing his chest against her own, their lips still moving against each other in a soft tangle of lips, tongues and teeth.
“princess, i’m gonna get you ready for me, okay?” he says when he pulls away from her lips, looking into her eyes. he’s going to take good care of her, as her best friend and someone who has had feelings for her for years.
she nods slowly up at him, he sees the nerves in her eyes. “if you want me to stop at any time, you tell me okay? and i will. i don’t want you to be uncomfortable, i would never want you to be.” he says gently as he brushes some hair out of her face.
“i will, i promise.” she whispers, the nervous energy thrumming through her body was put at ease a little by his words. “okay, princess.” he whispers softly as he leans down and presses kisses along her jawline to the collar of her shirt.
“such a pretty girl…” he whispers in between kisses to her neck, one of his hands going under her shirt and tracing the soft skin of her stomach.
she feels herself get more aroused with every kiss and word he says, helping her take off her shirt. he is gentle with his movements, taking off each piece of her clothing until she’s down to her bra and panties.
he leans back between her spread legs on the couch, admiring the way she looks all flushed and half-naked on the couch, she really is a dream. he feels more protective of her now, possessive, like he needs to keep her for himself.
the part of him that’s almost primal, a part he would like to keep hidden but he doesn’t know how much longer he can, not when he’s about to take her virginity.
“god, your so beautiful.” he says softly, his eyes roving over her frame. she feels her cheeks heat up all over again, wanting to hide from the embarrassment and just the way he’s eating her alive with his blue eyes.
he doesn’t let her hide, he leans down and presses his lips to the skin of her breast right where her bra is hiding her breasts. “good fucking…” he growls as he nips at the skin of her breast.
her body is shaking and she lets out some whimpers, squirming a little underneath him on the couch. “i’m gonna take your bra off, see these beautiful titties you’re hiding from me.” he says with another nip right above her bra.
she nodded and grabbed at his shirt, “take yours off.” she says with a small pant of her lips. he chuckles lowly and leans back on his haunches in between her legs.
he strips off his own t-shirt to showcase the soft muscles and planes of skin, she’s seen him shirtless before but these circumstances were far different. she lets out a breathy exhale.
“your turn.” he says with a small chuckle as he leans down and pulls down the bra straps on her bra. “lean up,” he guides her up so he can reach around and unclip it on the back.
finally, her bra is off and he throws it with her other clothes on the floor. he looks at her breasts, a groan leaving his lips. “my fucking…god, princess.” he says with a small sigh, he’s trying his best not to bust in his pants at the sight of her bare.
he doesn’t even hesitate as he leans down and captures one of her breasts in his mouth, using his other hand to pinch and pull at her nipple. he’s feasting on her like he’s a man starved.
she feels her underwear practically drenched at this point, moaning and gripping at his hair to keep his mouth on her.
she’s never felt like this before and he hasn’t really even done anything yet. she arches her back more, pushing her breast into his mouth more.
he swirls his tongue around her breast, feeling his cock straining in his pants, if he doesn’t release it soon…it’s going to bust in his pants.
he groans around her nipple and then moves to the next one giving it the same attention he just gave the other one, her body shaking and writhing beneath him like crazy.
he trails his lips away from her breasts, kissing down the plane of her stomach until he reaches the band of her underwear. he looks up at her from between her legs and silently asks her for permission.
she nods down at him and he hooks his fingers in the band of her underwear, pulling them down over her hips and tossing them with the rest of her clothes. he pulls back to marvel at her wet folds, how completely wrecked she is and he hasn’t even done that much yet.
the thought that he’s the first one to do any of this, touch her body like this, it drives him insane. it makes him almost feral as he leans in between her legs, keeping her thighs open and pressing kisses to the skin of her inner thighs.
“so fucking gorgeous, princess. is this all for me?” he grumbles lowly against the skin of her thighs, she feels the flushed skin of her cheeks heat up more.
the compliment only making her more aroused, practically painful at this point. she licks her dried lips, “yes…all for you.” she mumbles as she tries to control her breathing.
he chuckles against the skin of her inner thigh, still going farther down to her core. she feels her chest rise and falling faster and faster, those nerves returning as he leans down and presses a kiss to her clit.
her body instantly reacting, he loops his hands around her thighs and keeps them open. he presses more kisses to her clit until she’s a moaning mess, finally deciding to put her out of her misery.
he licks a stripe up her wet slit with his tongue, she moans softly and tilts her head back against the couch. she has never felt anything like this before, a whole other feeling that she couldn’t get from her fingers or a toy.
he keeps licking over her slit, practically drinking her up and devouring her like she was a five course meal. he uses one of his hands and plunges two fingers into her dripping entrance.
he had to prep her, he didn’t want to completely just rush in and hurt her. it didn’t matter how wet she was, he didn’t want to risk it.
she feels that feeling in her belly warm up and coil tighter, she starts shaking and moaning more, her moans growing in pitch. “so close…” she whimpers as he keeps plunging his fingers in and out of her entrance.
“mhm, gonna come all over my fingers like a good girl.” he mumbles softly, almost a feline smile on his lips as he presses a kiss to her slit and licks it as he keeps fingering her, his words twisted that coil tighter.
she feels herself fall apart after a few more pumps of his fingers and then another kiss to her clit, working her through her orgasm. he’s trying to be gentle, take his time but it’s hard when he’s watching her fall apart like that.
“so good, you did so good.” he praises lowly as he kisses up from her slit, over her stomach and breasts, then kisses her lips. she moans softly against his lips, tasting her own release on his mouth. she feels the fingers that were inside of her, trailing over her stomach.
his hand grabbing at her breast and squeezing it as he keeps kissing her. he pulls away slowly and looks down at her flushed face, “your so beautiful.” he whispers as he looks at her with nothing but admiration in his eyes.
she smiles lazily up at him, “thank you.” she whispers with a small pant out of her lips, he strokes some more hair out of her face. “you did amazing.” he whispers softly as he looks down at her.
the praise melts her into a puddle, still wet and probably leaking all over his dads couch. she doesn’t even care at this point. his dad was a whole other issue entirely that she didn’t want to even think of when she was with him.
it was just her and leon right now, the outside world ceased to exist.
“do you want me to keep going, princess?” he says with a small sigh as he traces lines down her stomach and down to her hips.
she thinks about it, about all of it. about his hands on her body and about the way he touches her so tenderly. how he’s not forcing her, how much she trusts him.
she can’t say no now, she can’t back out.
she licks her lips, “yeah, i want you to keep going. i want it.” she whispers as she looks up at him.
he smiles a boyish grin that makes her heart flutter uncontrollably, one that she’s seen a thousand times and it makes her breath catch. he presses a soft kiss to her lips, “i can do that. if it hurts too much, let me know. let me know and we can stop, okay? i already told you…” he trails off and she smiles softly up at him.
“yeah, i know. you’ve said that already.” she giggles softly as he leans back on his knees again in between her legs on the couch. “i know, i just…i want you to feel comfortable. i love you.” he mumbles the last part and if she wasn’t really listening, she wouldn’t have caught it.
but she did.
i love you. i love you. i love you.
it was echoing through her brain as he took off his pants and boxers, mixing her brain and making her all warm and fuzzy on the inside.
even when she saw his cock, all hard and long, the precum oozing out of the tip. she shakily exhales, the beating of her heart intensifies. she doesn’t know if it’s from his confession or the fact that his erection is just out.
she’s seeing him naked, fully naked. they match each other now, fully bare in front of each other. they can’t go back to normal after this, a reality she doesn’t want to face yet.
especially after…
i love you. i love you. i love you.
she looks up at him, reaching out for his arm as he starts to lean over her. he looks at her, his blue eyes linking with her own eyes. “what? what’s that look on your face for?” he says huskily as he takes in the look of admiration and lust in her eyes.
“you love me?” she whispers shakily, doesn’t feel like it’s falling out of her lips. he feels his breath catch and then escape, he can’t lie to her. not when she heard it. when she was naked and beautiful, everything he’s ever wanted wrapped up underneath him.
“i do, i love you…i think i’ve loved you for a long time.” he whispers as he slots himself between her legs, his cock rubbing against her wet folds. the intimacy, she thought she would hate it, run from it. but no, she was here with him and this was happening.
the words made this moment more sweet and memorable, the ache in her heart was bittersweet. to know that the feeling that she kept hidden for so long was reciprocated.
“i love you too. in a non-platonic way.” she whispers with a small nervous smile as she reaches up and touches the skin of his cheekbone.
he has that boyish smirk on his face as he hovers over her, looking into her eyes and tracing the lines of her face. “you do, huh? how long…?” he says with a small bit of teasing in his voice.
her arousal still uncomfortable but she put it on the back burner for now, she was finally getting to confess. finally getting to tell him all she felt for him over their years of friendship.
“maybe three or four years? i don’t know.” she giggles softly, “i couldn’t explain when it started.” she whispers as she traces a line down his jaw and over the moles on his neck.
“that’s okay, princess. i don’t need a timeline. i’m just glad you love me back, that’s all i could ever want from you.” he says softly and he’s almost sentimental deep down underneath it all.
but his dick is still rock hard against her wet folds. she doesn’t feel it go unnoticed, not any of this. “that and my virginity.” she jokes poorly as she smiles shyly up at him.
he shakes his head, smirking playfully, “no, you’re giving it to me. there’s a difference. i’m gonna make it so good for you. it’s what someone like you deserves.” he says sweetly as he leans down and presses a firm but soft kiss against her lips.
she sighs against his lips, wrapping her arms around his neck as he hovers over her. they love each other, it’s echoing in his brain and he doesn’t want it to ever disappear.
he slips his hand in between them and guides his cock through her wet folds, coating it with arousal and causing her to moan into his kiss. he hovers his lips over hers, “just relax, take a deep breath or it’s going to hurt.” he says gently as he nudges the tip of his cock into her entrance.
she nods and cards a hand into his hair, following his gentle command and taking deep breaths. he gently slides in inch by inch, letting her breathe through it. “it’s okay, you can take it.” he whispers softly, pressing a kiss to the corner of her lips.
she heaved a small breath, his cock slipping farther and farther in until he was fully sheathed inside of her. he stills for a couple moments, reading her expression.
“are you okay? does it hurt?” he asks gently as he caresses her cheek, she takes a shaky inhale and exhale. “not as bad…” she whispers softly as she looks up at him.
she feels a small sting, he’s definitely bigger then she expected. “take a moment, adjust and then i’ll move.” he says as he presses another soft kiss to her lips.
he stays still for a moment until she nods slowly, gesturing for him to move. he doesn’t hesitate, he slowly starts rocking his hips against hers.
she feels her eyes squeeze shut, she feels so full and just so happy. everything feels blissful like she’s on cloud nine. he presses a kiss to her neck, burying his head there as he keeps rolling his hips against hers. she wraps her arms around his neck and then her legs around his hips.
her pussy was squeezing him and it was hard for him to hold back, she was so tight, he was trying to control himself as best as he could.
“fuck…so tight…” he mumbles against her neck as he keeps rolling his hips, he goes a little bit harder. his hips rolling a little bit deeper and faster.
she leans her head back, her lips parted in bliss as she moans and whimpers. her little noises only making him more desperate to give her what she wants.
i love you. i love you. i love you.
it echoes through both of their brains simultaneously as they bring each other closer and closer to the edge. she’s so sweet, so good to him, always been the girl that he can go to.
been her best friend, been her confidant. he even gave her a place to stay, he helped her. her moans and his groans mingling together like sweet music as he keeps pounding his hips into hers.
“sweet girl, so fucking beautiful.” mumbled praises and compliments in between every thrust of his hips, her lips parting. she’s never looked more beautiful then right now. offering herself to him and him gladly obliging.
she’s melting underneath him, she’s close. she can feel it. he can feel the way she’s clenching around his cock, her moans growing in pitch. “don’t worry, princess. gonna let you come all over my cock.” he groans as he presses kisses all over her jaw.
that only spurs her on further, she feels it snap before she can even say anything, her nails digging into his back. she feels her body shaking as she comes all over his cock.
“oh fuck…” he groans as he feels her clench and coat his fuck in her come. he keeps rolling his hips, fucking her through her orgasm to chase his own release.
“i’m almost there, i’m almost there…” he repeats over and over as he keeps fucking into her, her eyes almost rolling into the back of her head from the overstimulation.
he keeps going until it was almost unbearable for her, his cock shooting ropes of come into her, a loud moan leaving his lips. he just kept his dick inside of her, waiting for it to soften. he needed to catch his breath, he feels like that orgasm took everything out of the both of them.
he pulls back a little to look into her eyes, “was it good? are you okay?” she blissfully smiles up at him in return. “it was perfect, felt good.” she mumbles with a small blink of her eyes.
“god, your so fucking good, princess.” he whispers in a low voice as he presses a gentle and loving kiss against her lips. she smiles against it, rubbing her hands over the small scratches on his back in a soothing gesture.
he pours all his love into the kiss, making sure she knew that he loved her, genuinely. this wasn’t just something he said to get her underneath him.
he loved her, she loved him.
i love you. i love you. i love you.
he leans back and pulls himself off of her, “im gonna clean us up, okay?” he says with a small gentle smile, slowly pulling his cock out of her entrance.
she sighs softly at the loss of his cock, feeling herself flutter around nothing. he strokes a hand over her stomach, “stay here.” he says firmly as he gets up, pulling his boxers back on. he walks into the kitchen down the long hallway, grabbing a damp paper towel and walking back.
he sits down next to her on the couch, her eyes slowly opening and closing from the exhaustion of the two orgasms she experienced. he wipes gently in between her legs, cleaning up their shared arousal.
“your okay, your okay.” he caresses her stomach in gentle rubs as he cleans in between her. she laughs a little as she looks over at the tv on the far wall of the living room.
he follows her eyes, seeing the reason for the laughter. the movies credits were rolling, he shakes his head. “if you want to actually watch it tomorrow, we can.” he says with a small teasing grin.
“if you can keep your hands off me tomorrow.” she says with a lazy smirk as she looks over at him. he gets up to throw away the paper towel, “don’t worry, i think i can manage.” he jokes.
she slowly sits up on the couch, looking at him, “do you think…your dad will kick me out when he finds out about us?” she says with a small bite to her bottom lip. he shakes his head, a small sigh leaving his lips.
he grabs his t-shirt and her underwear, handing them to her to put on. he sits down next to her as she slips the underwear over her hips and puts on his t-shirt. “don’t worry about him, i can handle him. if he has a problem we can always move out.” he says with a small smile, brushing some hair out of her face.
he continues, “i won’t leave you here with him. wherever you go, i go.” he says gently as he presses a kiss to her forehead. “your mine now, okay? you might not have agreed to it yet. but i’m not gonna let you stay here with him.” she feels her eyes swell up a little bit with tears.
just the love that he’s always had for her coming out 10x stronger than before, the whispered confessions before he took her virginity.
she smiles almost brokenly at him, a heartbreaking smile that he wants to make go away. he pulls her closer to him on the couch, wrapping his arms around her.
“i’ll follow you wherever you go.” she whispers against his bare chest, sniffling a little as she tries to keep the lump of tears at bay.
“i know you will.” he says with a small chuckle, pressing a kiss against the side of her hair. he rubs his hands over her back, the material of his t-shirt that she’s wearing kissing his palms.
“i love you.” she says softly into his chest, her breath shaky and trembling. he presses a kiss to the top of her head again, solidifying the words with his actions. “i love you too, princess. always have, always will.” he whispers tenderly against her skull.
he would always love her, he didn’t think he could ever stop. she would stick with him, he would take her away and make her happy. she’d never have to do another chore again, not if he had anything to say about it.
he rescued his princess, he won.
that mattered more then anything else.
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taglist: @elihii @heartsforvin @argreion @sqiim @adollrable @leonkennedygvrl @laceycoffins @porcelainseashore @squazmine (if you want to be added interact with the link at the beginning <3)
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sailoryooons · 1 year ago
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okay, Yoongi rec time. I am prepared for you to ruin my life, lessgo~~~
Gimme feelings and vibes, babe!!!! These two understand each other, they are the safe space for one another, their quiet compatibility is god tier.
Premise: Yoongi is 'the one that got away' to you. When you're unexpectedly thrown into each other's worlds again, every old feeling you had takes over like he never left - and it's clear that it's mutual. Problem... Yoongi has a girlfriend.
(Prefer no infidelity, just Yoongi having to make a hard choice, realizing the depth of what he had/and could have again now with reader is more substantial. And reader not being completely sure (maybe from miscommunication or lack of it) what his choice will be.)
honestly idc how smutty you make it, if you want to throw me a bone (huhuhu) and have some spice you know i'm not complaining :)
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❀ Pairing: Yoongi x f. reader
❀ Summary: Unresolved feelings lead to nothing but heartache when you run into Yoongi at a wedding five years after breaking up. Especially when you realize that despite Yoongi have feelings for you, there is still another woman on his arm. 
❀ Word Count: 3,641
❀ Genre: Angst, exes to lovers, smut
❀ Rating: 18+ Minors are strictly prohibited from engaging and reading this content. It contains explicit content and any minors discovered reading or engaging with this work will be blocked immediately. 
❀ Warnings: STUPID PINNING!!!! LIKE JUST TWO IDIOTS WHO NEED TO GET OVER THEIR PRIDE AND GET BACK TOGETHER!!!!!! Angst, a lot of internal pondering on relationships and life, Yoongi is honestly a terrible boyfriend to his current girlfriend (he is in love with reader and it’s very obvious) bickering about relationships, Hyori seems like a bitch but tbh she is in the worst situation lmao, depiction of a breakup, a lot of aching and being wistfully sad, explicit language, sexua content including vaginal fingering, light nipple play, unprotected vaginal sex, some cum and fluids idk they’re sweaty, this is more of an emotional/prosey smut scene than filth, FeElInGs
❀ Published: August 1, 2023
❀ A/N: JO IT TOOK ME A YEAR TO FILL THIS REQUEST FOR YOU BUT GOD DAMMIT I LOVE YOU AND I LOVE THIS REQUEST. I HOPE THAT THIS FITS THE VIBE OF WHAT YOU WERE THINKING AFTER WAITING FOR ME TO FUCKING WRITE IT FOR LITERALLY 365 DAYS. I LOVE YOU SO SO SO MUCH AND THIS IS UNEDITED OKAY. HERE'S TO HALI'S HAPPY AGUST'S FIRST REQUEST DROP!
❀ Disclaimer: All members of BTS are faces and name claims for this story. This is entirely a work of fiction and by no means is meant to be a projection, judgment or representation of real-life people. Any scenarios or representations of the people and places mentioned in works are not representative of real-life scenarios.
| Masterlist | Ask | Song Inspiration | Hali's Happy Agust
“Is that her?” Yoongi doesn’t have to turn to look at who Hyori is talking about. Her tone, tightening grip on his arm, and the way she stiffens says all that he needs to know. “Well? Is it?”
Yoongi doesn’t want to turn around and look. His back and shoulders hurt from sleeping on the hotel couch, his eyes burn from being unable to sleep after staying up most of the night fighting with Hyori, and he knows that Hyori knows what you look like. As if she has not spent hours scrutinizing every part of your life on social media. 
Perhaps it’s Yoongi’s fault. He thinks of all the things he’s done for the last two years. Or better - he thinks of all the things that he hasn’t done that have landed him here at this wedding with Hyori seething at your very presence in the same room. 
It’s only partially Hyori’s fault. Yoongi could have done better to make her feel secure, to ensure that she felt like he was in this relationship without thoughts of you, to make her feel like he would always be about her and not you. 
Yoongi loves quietly, though. Too quietly for a bright, burning star like Hyori, who has turned into a flaring nova over the last year, burning Yoongi when he dares to get too close but freezing him out when he gets too far. 
He doesn’t know what to do, so Yoongi does what Hyori wants him to do. He turns and looks over his shoulder, eyes scanning the entrance to the garden that Seokjin and his fiance have selected for their reception. 
When he sees you, Yoongi swears he could die. His heart squeezes, his stomach flips. He keeps his features schooled as much as he can, knowing that his girlfriend is watching his every movement, waiting for another reason to dig her nails in deeper, waiting to say I told you so. 
“Yeah,” he mumbles and turns back around without looking back again. “That’s her.” 
Hyori hums, seemingly satisfied with Yoongi’s lack of interest in you. Her grip softens and she melts into him a little. He fights the urge to lean away, the sudden sight of you making him want to put distance between himself and Hyori.
She did tell me so, he thinks when he realizes that his first instinct of being in the same room with you again is to be away from anyone else. Fuck. 
“I don’t like her dress.”
Yoongi hums in agreement, but he couldn’t disagree more. He thinks you look stunning in your silk, sky blue gown. It glows against your skin and Yoongi already knows you’ll smell like vanilla with a hint of cherries, a scent that used to drive him wild. He knows you taste as sweet as you smell, skin warm and soft and-
“Are you listening?” Hyori asks, voice ringing with annoyance. 
He wasn’t. “Sorry, I was wondering how many people they invited.”
“Looks like a hundred or so. Did you see who Taehyung brought?”
Hyori launches into assessing the dates brought to the wedding as people are seated for the ceremony. Yoongi hums and nods when appropriate, but his thoughts are miles away from petty conversations with his girlfriend.
Instead, he’s focused on you. Three rows up and on the other side of the aisle, sitting next to Hoseok. You laugh and Yoongi begins to bleed at the seams, all of his wounds that he’s spent the last five years trying to heal opening up for him to drip with pain. 
It’s stupid, this endless longing for you. You’d broke it off with him because it was getting too complicated and because Yoongi had missed every opportunity to give you reasons to stay. He knows that you’re happy and he loves seeing you happy, knows that you have no ill will toward him. You wish each other happy birthday, and he texted you when a mutual friend passed away. 
So why is it so painful? Yoongi was happy with Hyori at first. She is everything he is not: bright, outspoken, full of energy, adventurous and social. He liked the way that she compliments him, where she makes up for where he lacks. But now, all of those differences have become obstacles, and what they had once admired one another for has become irritations. 
When the ceremony starts, Yoongi knows he’s supposed to look back at the bride and watch her enter. Knows that she will be beautiful and it is her day and she is owed all of the attention in the world. But it’s you he watches, waiting with his breath held as you turn, eyes sweeping to watch the bride enter.
And then you’re looking at him and Yoongi breaks. A single look in five years and he knows with sudden, lightning-strike clarity that he cannot do this anymore. The stab of longing is far greater than looking at you from a distance, the weight of your gaze crushing.
Yoongi realizes that there is nothing worse than watching two people proclaim their love in front of their family and friends while the love of his life is sitting three rows, and an aisle away. 
-
Letting out a shaky breath, you bring the flute of champagne to your lips, knocking back the entire thing. It burns on the way down and the carbonation fluxes, making you cough as a sudden burning sensation singes your nose, making you choke.
You set the glass down quickly, coughing your way through swallowing the alcohol the wrong way. Hoseok appears, patting your back and asking, “Shit, you okay?”
“Wrong pipe.”
“Maybe don’t chug your champagne like you’re using a beer bong in college.”
“Well maybe I need stronger champagne,” you shoot back. You immediately wince at your tone, Hoseok raising his brows. “Sorry. Very on edge. I knew seeing him would suck but I didn’t expect to feel like my rib cage would crack open.”
“By the looks of it, you’re not the only one.” 
Gritting your teeth, you follow Hoseok’s gaze, glancing over your shoulder toward the far end of the reception room. Yoongi is leaning back in his seat, slouched slightly in his chair and staring off into the distance unseeing. Next to him, his girlfriend Hyori giggles with the woman next to her at their table, either unaware of her boyfriend disassociating or over it. 
The worst part about Hoseok’s comment is that it’s true. Seeing Yoongi’s face during the ceremony was all you needed to see to know that it isn’t just you being burned by the fire. You aren’t alone in your pain, but you're not the one in a committed relationship. You’re not the one who has sat passively and let the world and love pass you by. 
It’s knowing that hurts so much, you think. Knowing that you love Yoongi more than anyone else in the room. Knowing that maybe walking away because you were too young to understand his love language or how he could do better for you was a mistake. 
Five years has given you a lot to think about. You don’t move through the world the same way, and you have a better understanding of the way that people pour love into relationships. You can’t help but wonder what it would be like now that distance has made you understand Yoongi more. You cannot help but ache over imagining that he has fixed all the things about himself you struggled with for another. 
“He loves her,” Hoseok murmurs, speaking your thoughts. “But not… like he loves you.”
“Well, that’s his problem.” You pick at a stray hair on your dress. “I admit I was immature and impatient and didn’t give him the chances to be what I needed, but… if he wants me and won’t take me, isn’t that why I left in the first place?”
Hoseok hums his agreement with an undercurrent of sadness. “Come on, let’s dance. Weddings are for celebrating love, not watching it die.” 
Hand in Hoseok’s, you let him lead you out onto the floor, spinning you wildly until you’re crashing into Jungkook and Taehyung’s arms, laughing and letting the music sweep you up and away from the hurt. The pain of knowing Yoongi is right there dulls a little. 
Being with your friends helps. It takes your thoughts away from thinking of all the things that you did wrong, like ignoring the ways Yoongi was silently telling you that he loved you, like getting mad for not seeing what he was saying in his own, quiet way. 
Yoongi isn’t faultless but neither are you blameless, which is perhaps why it hurts so much when you catch glances of him on the other side of the room. His hair is longer than it’s ever been and you wonder if it’s just as soft as it used to be. His face is just as round and soft, and yet he looks older somehow, more mature. 
It’s hard not to wonder what it would be like if you’d just given him the chance to be better for you. What it would be like if you had been more patient and understanding of him.
Yoongi does not love loud. He does not exist brightly splashed across paper the way that you do. He loves gently, with your cup of coffee waiting and ready for you every morning, and the oil in your car changed, and the broken shelf in your library mended. He is a soft shadow, the gentle hand on your back at an art gallery you wanted to visit and a held hand at a show he didn’t like but you did. 
Sweat lines your forehead and sticks to your arms from dancing. You excuse yourself to take a break and freshen up in the bathroom, the cool air of the venu making you shiver as you wend through candle-lit tables filled with sleeping elders and children stealing wedding cake. 
In the hall, you teeter toward the bathroom. After being plied with champagne and some tequila from Taehyung to loosen you up, you feel a little too loose, like you might melt on the floor if you don’t get some water and a seat somewhere underneath an air vent. 
“Fuck you,” someone hisses, their voice loud enough to stop you from turning the corner of where the bathrooms are. This section of the hotel is empty, reserved only for events and Seokjin’s wedding is the only event for the evening. “Why did you fucking bring me, then? I told you it would be just like this.”
“I’m sorry.”
“You will be. I have tried, Yoongi. I have tried for a year now, and nothing I do matters. No matter how hard I love you, you still love her. It isn’t fair and it’s cruel.”
Your heart speeds up when you realize it’s Hyori’s hissing voice you hear and Yoongi’s soft baritone. You chew your bottom lip, turning to look at the empty hall behind you. There’s no one around, the wedding working into the late hours of the evening. There doesn’t seem to be another set of bathrooms, and you can’t imagine trying to walk past Hyori and Yoongi in the middle of this. 
“You’re right,” Yoongi sighs. You know that sound. Defeated. Sad. 
“That’s all you have to say? That I’m right?” 
“I don’t know what else to say. You are right. You don’t deserve the effort that I’ve given you, I have been incredibly unfair, and though I love you, it doesn’t erase what I feel for her. It is the worst kind of cruelty I can think of, and I thought I’d get over it. I didn’t.” 
“You are the worst kind of person.”
Before you can get yourself together at the sound of Hyori’s clicking heels, she’s turning the corner and nearly slamming into you. She takes a few steps back, eyes wide and blinking in surprise. When she realizes it's you, her face twists into something cruel and venomous. 
Instead of saying anything, Hyori rushes by you, shoulder smacking yours. You teeter but don’t stumble, staring at the empty space where she was moments ago. You’re not sure you deserve her wrath, but you understand it. You don’t blame her for it. There is no happiness at her pain, no twist of pride at winning. Knowing that her pain is because it’s still about you. Always has been. 
Licking your lips, you take a shaky breath and peek around the corner. Yoongi is standing in the empty hall with his head tilted back toward the ceiling, eyes closed. His long hair falls to his shoulders around him. He looks so beautiful in a suit and bowtie, a picture perfect groom if you thought about it long enough.
Tears sparkle in the corner of his eyes before tracking down his face. His pain is tangible, and before you know what it is you’re doing, you’re walking toward him. He either doesn’t hear you coming or doesn’t care that there is someone to see him cry, because he doesn’t look down at you until your hand is in his and you’re squeezing. 
Warmth blooms between your palms. His are rough and calloused like you remember, all from playing guitar and taking the woodshop classes he loves so much. He still smells like cedar and sage, hypnotizing and dark in a way that makes you want to fall into him each time you inhale. 
Yoongi’s eyes open, lined in silver-tears. He looks so in pain and so beautiful, this soft boy who is now a man. Different but familiar. A burn and a balm. 
“I’m sorry,” he murmurs, quick to speak first. Your hand squeezes his more as Yoongi opens up in front of you on command. As if he only has a moment to correct all of his mistakes in a single breath. “I get it now,” he whispers, voice cracking. “I do, and I’m sorry. And you look beautiful, and happy and I am so happy for you.” 
“I know.” You feel a burn in your eyes and realize there are tears threatening to break free. “I- me too. Can we just?” 
You don’t have to say what you mean. Yoongi gets it - has always gotten it. From the beginning, to the end. Even when he’s confused, he figures it out. Knows how to put the pieces of your puzzle together for the full image. 
Just a tiny exchange leads you to a twist of muttered words, spilled tears and Yoongi’s mouth on yours. You don’t know when he kisses you first or if it was you, but you know that his mouth is on yours and he is warm warm warm and his mouth tastes like whiskey. You breathe him in, fingers pulling at the lapels of his jacket. You want more more more - you always do with him.
Yoongi is a giver. He never takes. He lets you take from him. He crushes you with the weight of his love on the bed, hands feverish and hungry as he pulls your legs up to wrap around his waist. You moan as his rough palms skate up your exposed thigh, lighting a fight as he strokes your skin. 
It feels like you might suffocate. The air between you is static as Yoongi sucks your tongue into his mouth, making you shiver. Kissing him has always been your greatest weakness and you forget the way he breaks you apart with gentle swipes of his tongue, the soft nibbling of your bottom lip between his teeth. 
You feel like an exposed wire, sparking under Yoongi’s touch. He pulls the dress from your overwhelmed skin, your nipples pebbling in the cold air as his mouth moves from your tips, to your jaw, to your throat. Your pulse beats wildly under the careful touch of his teeth against your skin, the sting of his bites soothed by a swipe of his tongue.
Trembling and panting, you pull at his pants. Yoongi’s skin is hot to the touch, firm in places you don’t remember and soft in places that you do. Your fingers trace his lines and curves, remembering, discovering. You want to learn all of the new things about him and recall the things you already knew. 
“Fuck,” you gasp as Yoongi’s wet mouth wraps around a pert nipple. He hums and gives a vicious suck, making your back arch off of the bed. His tongue flicks across your hardened bud a few times, making you twitch under him. “Yoongi.”
He lets go with a pop, a string of spit connecting his mouth and your skin. “Say it again,” he whispers, voice ragged. “Missed hearing you say it.”
“Yoongi,” you say again.
You don’t stop saying his name - can’t stop saying his name. Not when he slides his hands between your legs, fingers trailing through your soaking cunt. Not when he circles those nimble fingers around your clit, sparking pleasure deep inside of you.
It feels like you’re on the edge of madness. Years of want and hurt and desire come bursting to the surface all at once. Your hands slide through Yoongi’s hair, just as soft as you remember it being. You tug hard on the locks, making him moan deeply into your shoulder. His breath is hot against your skin as he teases you, fingers tracing your entrance but doing nothing.
“Please,” you whisper. “Don’t.”
“Just wanted to see if you still get all worked up.” His laugh turns into a groan when you pull his hair harder. You feel his cock straining against your thigh, sticky tip tacky against your skin. “You still do.”
“You have some nerve saying that like your cocks not drooling on my thigh, Yoongi.”
“Fuck, I know.” He slowly slides a finger into your dripping heat. You curse, arching up into him. It isn’t enough. “Could bust just fingering this tight fucking pussy.”
“More.”
“Yeah?” Yoongi inserts another finger and you feel fuller, better. You nod, eyes fluttering shut as he sets a gentle pace, fucking his fingers into you at an angle to press up against that soft spot inside of you that makes you whine. “I still got it.” 
“Shut up.”
Yoongi has a right to be smug. It feels like you’re going to shatter, your hips coming off the bed to meet his thrusting hand. Your mouths smash together, teeth and tongues colliding. It’s messy and wet but Yoongi is yours again - maybe not forever, but he is in this moment and it's all you want. All that matters. 
Dizzy and drunk on him, you let him work you toward your high, the wet-smack of his fingers between your thighs bracketing the high-pitched sounds escaping you. He attaches his mouth to the sensitive spot beneath your ear, licking and sucking until you’re trembling under him, hands shooting to his arms and legs squeezing his hips as you come apart around his fingers, walls squeezing him tight.
Curses drip from his mouth as he shifts forward, pressing you further into the mattress, thrusting his fingers harder. Your orgasm reaches a peak and your mind is near breaking, ears ringing as he drags it out. You try to move away from him but pull him with you, reaching over stimulation but wanting more. 
Yoongi drives you mad. Has always driven you mad. You crave him even more as he pulls his fingers from your fluttering cunt, smearing your slick down your thigh as he gets up on his knees. Your legs fall open for him, butterflied as he strokes his heavy cock in his hand, watching you catch your breath.
Sweat sticks to your skin, the sheets clinging to you. Your thighs protest as Yoongi presses you open and slides his cock along your sticky folds. You twitch when his tip catches your clit, little shockwaves pulsing through you from the stimulation. 
Biting his bottom lip, Yoongi angles his hips to push in on his next teasing upstroke and you gasp. The stretch is painful and good, the pressure mounting as he pries you open. You feel yourself drift a little, lost in the feeling as he presses into the hilt, stopping to let your walls flutter around him. 
“So fucking tight,” he mutters, falling forward to cage you in with his arms. “Fuck.”
“So fucking big,” you shoot back. “Not my fucking fauuult.”
Your words turn into a mewl as he pulls out and slams back in, hips smacking with bruising force against yours. Yoongi’s laughter is dark against your mouth as he presses his lips to yours. You breathe hard against one another, sharing breath as he fucks you hard and deep.
Sliding your hands along his back, you grab him and pull him closer. Press your fingers into his shoulder blades, grip sliding with the sweat on his back. He works you so easily that within a few moments you’re delirious, babbling under him and near tears that finally - finally - you have him again. Something you’d never thought you’d get. 
Apologies spill from his mouth. Yoongi tells you everything he always meant to say. Everything you always wanted from him. You mutter it back, pull sweet words from his tongue, claw him open and make him shudder at your touch. 
Forehead pressed to yours, dark eyes burning, Yoongi brings you back to the precipice again. This time when you come, it’s together, your body squeezing tight, muscles spasming. Yoongi kisses you then, shaking above you as you ride it out together, unable to think of anything else but Yoongi. 
Later, when he’s asleep next to you and you’re wreathed in the warm cage of his arms, you think never again. Never again will you risk this heartache and let him go. 
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manicpixiedreamedwins · 5 months ago
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Alright. I've been talking about writing a meta about Charles and jealousy for a while, so here it is. It's a mess. I tried to make it more concise than it was, if you can believe that.
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Be forewarned, below the cut we'll be diving into some canon compliant content like Charles' home life. Please, please, please note that now is the time to leave if you are not in a good space to read about those.
Okay. First I want to establish a few things before I get to analyzing the scenes, because I think it is important that we have empathy for Charles here. This might be a bit of a long preamble, but if you could stay with me I'd appreciate it. I promise I am going somewhere with all of this.
I think a lot of us have been told, perhaps by a parent or a friend, that jealousy is unbecoming or bad. Think about it. I know growing up that is a message I heard frequently even though I saw adults exhibit it. This was actually pretty confusing to try and work out. Anyway, now with this almost puritanical obsession with good pure and healthy relationships in media, it's gotten worse. We're told any human flaw we have is something we have to fix or we are not deserving of love. Yes, including jealousy.
Only if that's the case, Charles is fighting uphill here. Here's why:
For reference 41:30 -42:00 in episode 4 is the flashback that The Night Nurse shows Charles of his home. If we unpack this we can learn a lot of things, but there are two that I would like two draw your attention to today:
Charles' dad clearly isn't someone Charles could form a secure attachment to. He seems to only be acknowledging Charles when he's angry, and only acknowledging him in a very violent manner. He's also not really communicating with him, and expecting Charles to know what he's upset about I guess? Truly, this man is terrifying. He knows his family is afraid of him, and he knows they'll scramble to try and fix whatever his issue is.
Charles' mom doesn't intervene. Now, I do not want to hear any vile junk in my notes. She's a battered woman and has probably been in the same position that Charles has, considering Charles himself is worried about her once he is dead. He's worried enough that he checks in on her every week. It makes it all the more heartbreaking that Charles is the one who has taken it upon himself to try and "make it better" (although this is not uncommon among kids who grow up in abusive households, alarmingly).
It definitely drives home that there is a clear hierarchy in the home (everyone tries to please the most volatile person), and you're at the bottom of the pyramid. Even if it's just because you and everyone else in the household is too terrified to do anything about the most abusive person's behavior, you still feel the weight of never being put first. You will never be put first, because how could you be? "You never made it better than you died" (via The Night Nurse) holds a crushing amount of meaning here.
Alright. Now we have established that Charles had some messed up stuff happen at home. Let's take that a step further. Adverse childhood experiences can lead to a variety of attachment styles that are not secure and... you guessed it, jealousy can get thrown in the mix. (This link leads to an abstract of a very interesting research article. If you request the full test directly from the researcher they will provide it for free, but it takes time. The basic idea here is that if kids aren’t able to form secure attachments to their parents, then they will struggle to feel secure in their relationships as they grow up. Sometimes that can manifest as jealousy).
Still with me after all of that? You are god's strongest soldier, lmao. Now let's get into the good stuff.
Charles dies, but there in the attic he meets Edwin. Charles chooses Edwin over the blue light without a second thought. He comforted him when he was dying, and that tenderness is foreign for Charles. The choice is an easy one.
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He enjoyed it, and he enjoys Edwin. Edwin, in turn, turns out to be is someone who unequivocally, continuously, puts Charles first. He also does something really important- Charles seeks reassurance, and Edwin gives it ("You ever think, what if Death did catch us? She'd force us to go to the afterlife and split up" Charles asks. "I will make sure that never happens" Edwin answers, all while they're hanging on the side of their office). This is one of the first things we learn about them in the pilot. Charles knows he can count on Edwin. This wasn't something he had from anyone in life.
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So things go fine for Charles for a long while. Edwin hasn't given him any reason to feel insecure in all that time it seems. He’s done a great job making Charles feel safe. Charles even feels secure enough that it is his idea to try and integrate Crystal into the agency, although Edwin clearly hates it. Crystal isn’t a threat to his friendship with Edwin, so it would appear Charles still feels reasonably secure in their relationship at this point.
Charles even explains or excuses a lot of Edwin's reactions to try and smooth things over. He tries to mediate between them during their first plan to rescue Becky from Esther's house the best he can. He allows Edwin to have a leg of the case with just the two of them, but he tries to frame it as protecting Crystal.
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But then it's Edwin's turn to shake up the foundation that their relationship is built on.
Edwin had a lot of issues to attend to this season, and he tried to deal with most of them alone. Most of the problems Edwin had to handle put definite distance between him and Charles- how couldn't they? He was being hit on, which was a very new experience for him. He probably didn't even know how to talk about that at first, as evidenced by his description of the CK speaking closely to his ear (oh sweet summer child). He also learned about his feelings for the first time, which Monty had to finish spelling out for him.
This all, however, is where we see a shift in the dynamic. It's significant.
Edwin uses magic on a cat and has to go and meet with the Cat King. Whoops. 🙃 Charles slides easily into his role as a protector, but… Edwin stops him.
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Honestly, Edwin had a good reason to do this. He pointed out that cat scratches can cause serious harm to ghosts, and they were surrounded. As endearing as this was, this wouldn’t have been an easy fight. They can just talk this out, right? He gets whisked away for a few minutes to do that (and then winds up opening a bigger can of worms).
From Charles’ perspective though, Edwin doesn’t allow him to help him, and then vanishes for a long period of time. Then he absolutely won’t tell him anything about it when he does come back. Charles knew Edwin was a little mad at him in the pilot, but they were still communicating for the most part. The secrecy is a shift, and it’s not one he’s coping well with. He tries a few different ways to reconnect.
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First he tries gentle. He just asks what happened from a place of concern. This might have worked actually, only I’m not even sure Edwin knows how to fully describe what happened during their encounter. He rushes through a description, and Charles still feels like something is missing. He doesn’t like that someone else has a secret with Edwin— for thirty years they’ve been connected. This feels frightening to him, and Edwin doesn’t seem particularly worried that they’re not on the same page.
He tries to pick the conversation back up later when they’re searching for the dandelion shrine, but Edwin doesn’t give any additional information. So he slides back into his role of being a protector again and defends him against the ambient skeletons, because at least he can protect him from that easily. For a moment, things almost seem normal again, but this resurfaces in a later case.
Edwin meets with CK again in episode 4. Charles is still raw after the events of the Devlin House, and now he’s just pissed. He’s hurting, and Edwin is still keeping this weird secret. They end up bickering back and forth. The bickering tells us something interesting about Charles’ concerns.
Charles: What did he want? He didn't whisk you away again? Got that bracelet off?
Edwin: I'd be back at the office right now if the bracelet was off. He wanted to know if I counted the cats, and my guess was unsatisfactory.
Charles: Thinks he can come and go... He can't show up in the middle of cases. Did you tell him that?
Edwin: Matter of fact, I did.
Charles: Can't believe you didn't tell us. I've had enough of secrets about that wankеr.
Edwin: Why are you getting so angry?
What stands out to me here is Charles is upset about a few things: he hates that Edwin is getting taken away from him by a being they can’t control (a logical fear, considering they’re running from death together). He hates that this is happening in the middle of case time that is supposed to be for him and Edwin (and their friends, who Charles trusts). He is still really upset that Edwin has a secret with someone else (I really don’t think he’d be bothered if the secret was with him).
That’s why he’s upset. Charles isn’t feeling secure. He doesn’t feel like their relationship is on good footing right now. Whether or not he knows how to phrase that or ask for support is a different question.
Onto Monty (sorry these are a bit out of order— I put them by character for this part).
Charles wasn’t aware of Monty. This probably already bothered him a little, considering the mystery surrounding the cat king, but he tried to be a good sport. Monty wasn’t outwardly threatening. He came with gifts. He seemed friendly. Charles tried to match that… only to get snubbed. Ouch.
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Charles likes to claim he’s aces with other people, but he ultimately died because his friends turned on him and killed him the second he stood up for what was important to him. I think peer relationships are a particularly sticky situation for him. I think he knew how to fit in the same way he knew how not to rock the boat in a volatile home. With Edwin it was different though— Edwin just liked him. Edwin was special.
But of course yet another boy their age doesn’t like him (probably a little upsetting, considering how he died). The only thing that’s confusing to him here is he didn’t really do anything wrong— he was polite. He followed along with all the little niceties people do, even when they don’t want to. Maybe this wouldn’t have bothered him so much in another situation, but now Edwin is wrapped up with him instead of Charles. He's picked him instead (in Charles' mind).
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He can’t even shake this when Monty isn’t there.
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Charles tries to get Edwin's attention... and fails. so he begins to have a conversation with himself. Perhaps he was trying to make Edwin laugh. Perhaps he was trying something over the top. Still, he fails. Ultimately, he goes the broken record route and asks him the same question a couple of times.
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This moment probably really hurt- there's actually no reason for Edwin to be ignoring him, in Charles' mind anyway. They're alone together. Usually they'd be talking or bantering or at least Charles would be able to get Edwin's attention. It's just that he can't, because now Edwin is stuck on that fucking book from that fucking bloke who blew him off earlier.
This was probably a little activating for Charles. Even if he didn't completely put together why it upset him, Edwin putting someone who just treated him poorly right in front of his face first is a dim reflection of what he went through in his home. Now, I am not saying Monty is anywhere near that level of bad- he's a literal cream puff. He could not kill them when his life depended on it.
What I am saying, though, that Charles perceives a subtle threat here. He's also not sure what to do with it, because he never overcame that hurtle in life. No one else ever put him first, and he never figured out how to fix that. Edwin kind of just centered Charles automatically when they met. Now he's not doing that anymore and it’s jarring and uncomfortable for him. He’s feeling this loss of stability, on top of the fact that Edwin still won’t tell him what’s going on with the CK.
"...try not to forget that we're trying to leave" is what Charles comes up with after that exchange. Edwin makes an attempt to console him finally and offers to talk, but Charles shuts it down and tells him it's that he wants to leave town. They start on a case after that.
(Note that I did this a little out of order for organization’s sake— some of their CK arguing happened during the case they went on next).
Charles does finally catch a break here. In spite of all of this, he’s missing something very important: Edwin has feelings for him. That’s probably the most pressing issue that’s gone unspoken between them.
So Edwin dresses nicely, catches Charles attention, and finally tries to initiate a conversation. Charles seems relieved.
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He does assume Edwin is just trying to come out by telling him about his time with Monty, before the teethface incident. Charles isn’t bothered, since Monty isn’t really in the picture anymore as far as he’s concerned. Things are fine, it’s just the two of them again and Edwin likes boys. Wait…
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... Fuck. Forgot about the Cat King.
He resorts to threatening the CK. I know lots of people have lots of different theories on this, but consider this perspective also: Monty is no longer a threat. He’s abstract. He’s a memory. The Cat King is still very real and is a thing that can come between them, has done so, and has successfully taken Edwin from him. And as accepting as Charles was trying to be in that moment, he just can't handle that (from the perspective of this meta).
Anyway, this is all interrupted by their foray into hell. Charles does rescue Edwin, Edwin confesses, and honestly I feel like that just needs to be a different thing entirely but I did type a little bit about how I think Charles interpreted all of that here.
They return. Charles is processing Edwin's confession on the roof. This whole scene mystifies me a little because yes, he didn't seem to know exactly what to say to Edwin's confession in hell (I think he did not want to ruin it by saying the wrong thing). The more rewatches I go through the more... satisfied he looks to me? He might be processing, but also he might be a little giddy that Edwin has feelings for him specifically. I'm still trying to figure out how to read this one because the lines seemed rushed but the microexpressions say so much.
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Then he starts blatantly flirting with Edwin. Honestly Charles, what the fuck?(afffectionate) Truly I’m still trying to work out if he’s just testing out how Edwin reacts or if he is working through his own feelings here, but I really want more of this in S2.
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That’s about all the thoughts I think I can organize on this for now without it getting obscenely long (it already is pretty long for a half baked idea that turned into a meta). Thank you for reading 🖤
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musclesandhammering · 1 year ago
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No, Sylvie didn’t “have a point” in that bar convo.
Ok. I’ve seen a lot of sylvie stans on Twitter (and ofc Twitter is the app of choice for sylvie stans lmao) claiming that, in the bar conversation in episode 5, Sylvie had the moral high ground. They say she Made Points and that she’s consistently been the one trying to preserve lives while Loki/Mobius/the TVA have been carelessly destroying them. Yeah. Let’s talk about that.
On Sylvie being right about Loki “kidnapping” people from their timelines…
First off, Loki admitted that he had an ulterior motive of bringing his friend group back together because he didn’t want to be alone. Cool! But he didn’t say he wanted to forcefully drag them from their happy lives and imprison them somewhere so they couldn’t leave just so he could hang out with them. He said they should be given a choice whether they wanted to join him in his ‘save the TVA’ quest or go back to their current lives. A choice. You know.. like what they didn’t have before.
And it’s kinda valid, when you think about it. Yes, they had/have lives on their original branches, but they also had/have lives at the TVA. Centuries worth of life there. They have friends there, they have jobs that they genuinely see as their own glorious purposes, and (in recent days) they have their own little world-saving team! They have a heroic mission! They have their friendship with Loki! And whether or not they should’ve been drafted to the TVA is irrelevant, because it happened. And those experiences are significant just like their experiences on the timeline. It was wrong for HWR to take away their memories and their choice to stay in their mundane lives, but it’s equally as wrong for Sylvie to not want to give them their memories of the TVA back or give them the choice to go back to that life, if they want to. And considering how A.D. Doug and Frank’s branch lives are going (read: not good), I’m fairly confident they’d choose to return if they had all their memories back.
And I mean, considering how the meeting with Sylvie went, if any of them had refused to come with Loki, he would have let them stay! It’s not like he was literally kidnapping them. He just wanted to give them a choice in hopes that they’d choose him. Just because Sylvie can’t imagine ever wanting to leave her life on the timeline to go back to the TVA doesn’t mean she can make that choice for others.
On Sylvie being right about just leaving everyone be and letting the TVA stay destroyed…
Like..??? This is so frustrating. This is probably my greatest source of annoyance with her throughout this entire season. She’s constantly argued in favour of inaction, despite the fact that she knows there is an emergency going on that requires immediate action. Moral discussions aside, just sitting at McDonalds and ignoring everything that’s going on isn’t feasible, because- as Loki has been trying to tell her for 4 episodes now- if the loom melts down, there won’t be a McDonalds anymore. There won’t be anything. The entire multiverse will be fettuccine 😭. 
Like I just don’t understand her logic?? Either she doesn’t believe him (despite having evidence), or she just doesn’t care because a.) she thinks they should fix the mess she made while she just chills in the 80s OR b.) she thinks “well I’ll be fine, fuck everyone else 🤪” because she has the master tempad and thinks she can just keep outrunning the destruction like she’s been doing her whole life.
Either way, though, even if the branches weren’t being spaghettified and everything was fine.. there’s still a billion kang variants on the horizon. Like does that not trouble her at all? I’m sure her reasoning would be that she’d just kill any Kangs that show up, but it’s hilarious how she’s so confident in her ability to do that considering she did nothing impressive to kill He Who Remains. He sat in a chair and offered himself up to her. She walked up and stabbed him in the chest. Like there was no battle, that was no accomplishment. But she really thinks she did something, huh? To the point that she’s willing to risk the lives of everyone in the multiverse, gambling on her ability to single-handedly take on an entire army of all-powerful dudes actually trying to win. Nonsensical behaviour.
On Sylvie just wanting to save all the innocent people…
Building on my last point. Sylvie’s whole thing about being the one that stands up for The People and does everything in the best interest of the innocents… yeah, that’s bs lol. Sylvie, I think, has convinced herself that she’s fighting to preserve lives, but in all actuality, she’s just fighting to oppose the TVA. She’s not seeking justice (at least not primarily), she’s seeking revenge. And that’s been a problem with her since the end of season 1.
She had no problem murdering 400+ minute men in violent and torturous ways (she even enjoyed doing it, and still takes pride in it), despite the fact that she knew they were innocent people brainwashed and forced to work for the TVA. She had no problem sitting back and letting the infinite number of Kangs come, even though it was inevitable that lots of innocent people would be killed by them. As long as she didn’t have to do the work to prepare for it, she was fine with that risk. Loki tried to tell her multiple times, in multiple instances, that the TVA falling apart would cause branched timelines to be destroyed and all the people on them to die, but she ignored him and didn’t believe him and refused to do anything to help over and over and over until that very thing ended up happening. As a matter of fact, she never cared at all until it effected her timeline. Then she immediately was like “there must be something we can do!!”
Anyway….. I just think it’s annoying how some people act like she’s the pro-life (not that kind of pro-life) voice of reason in all this. She’s extremely selfish (yes, more so than Loki) and perfectly willing to let innocent people die if it means she gets to keep relaxing on her branch. Much like Brad. And you know what? That doesn’t make her a villain! There’s nothing wrong with wanting a life away from the organisation that ruined your old one. But I wish folks would stop saying she was right. Cause.. no, bestie, she was not. Lol.
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skyfallscotland · 3 months ago
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20 Questions for the Writers Tag Game!
I was tagged by @caeli0306
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1. Total number of AO3 works
Nine!
2. Total AO3 word count 985,672! We're about to crack the mil, baby! And in just over a year, too 🥺💗
3. Fandoms I've written for
So many! But if we keep it to works currently posted: ACOTAR & The Empyrean series.
4. Top 5 fics by kudos
Truth & TalonFear & FlameMacchiatoFurykeep quiet (nothing comes as easy as you)
5. Do I respond to comments?
Yes, always! I love receiving them, so replying is the least I can do 💗
6. What has the angstiest ending?
...Truth & Talon, actually...
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No, I'm just kidding....mostly... 👁👄👁 I'm saying Dangerous Devotion. 7. What has the happiest ending?
Fury, I think.
8. Have I received hate?
Not recently/in the Empyrean fandom (unless you count people telling me they're disappointed with my choices, lol, shoutout to that one girl who was sad Remi wasn't a virgin!) but I have before for sure.
9. Do I write smut? And what kind?
Sure. What kind like...kinks? Praise kink? Cockwarming? What do you mean what kind? 😭 The hot kind 💗
10. Do I write crossovers?
I have before, but I don't have any currently published.
11. Have I ever had a fic stolen?
Multiple times, lol. she's an icon, she's a legend, and she is the moment.
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Honestly though, please don't do this. It's not a nice feeling. It doesn't help you, either, or anyone else. Wouldn't you rather contribute something new to the fandom you're in? 12. Have I ever had a fic translated?
Yes! Some of my older Tolkien works were translated into Russian and I've had offers for Remi's Version, but I prefer that translations stay on AO3 (with very limited exceptions) which I suppose limits some people.
13. Have I ever co-written a fic?
I mean, most of my ideas are bounced off @justallihere and we throw dialogue/ideas back and forth so we'll give her... 12% of the credit for my next work. But no, I've never properly co-written anything. I feel like it would be weird, right? Unless you're writing a POV each?
14. What is my all time favorite ship?
Xaden Riorson/Remi Sorrengail 😌
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15. A WIP I'll never finish?
I really hope to finish the things I've started so far. I have a few on the go, but the brain does what it wants. Tattoo-artist Xaden is sitting right on the edge there. I have 10k words of a scribe Violet AU that I might never pick up again, so let's say that.
16. Writing strengths?
Feelings, apparently. Lots of people tell me I make them cry, lmao.
17. Writing weaknesses?
Battles, action, fight scenes. I hate them. I hate them so much I'll write in storylines that change the canon universe so I can skip them completely. Ick.
18. Do I like foreign language dialogue?
I just write, for example, 'he said in Tyrrish' after the dialogue, I like that sort of thing, I think it's indicative enough without doing all italics and strange indicators like people used to back in the day, lol.
19. First fandom I wrote for?
Lord of the Rings. Very short lived. Was told it was "the worst fic I've ever read in my life" and that was that. I was maybe thirteen at the time 😌
20. Favorite fic I've written?
I cannot and will not pick a favourite child, but I will say Fury is very close to me. It got me back into writing and it came at a time in my life where I was really struggling and finding who I wanted to be and really changing my life. Without Tessa, there wouldn't be Remi 💗
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I feel like everyone I know has already been tagged by someone, so I'll just open it to the floor for anyone who wants to participate 🤷‍♀️
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perfectfangirl · 6 months ago
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i'm not new to the fallout fandom but
and i also haven't made a written post in years but yet i'm sure there's already discourse on the tv show about it on here with me not finding it right away but i'd like to talk about how cooper [the ghoul man] decided to unalive and butcher another [going feral friend] ghoul, roger. though terrifying and universally morally reviled... i think it's a genuinely interesting choice of him to me with having his companion hostage [vault dweller] lucy around. morally, on the scale, it was oddly compassionate, for lack of a better phrasing. stay with me now! [ghouls just do not perish under usual circumstances in this universe and that guy would've been doomed to a "life" to fallout's equivalent of zombism] and though obviously i do not like that he did that [lmao like i'm repulsed despite very much knowing how the "fallout" games can go down, i mean there's a cannibalism perk 😭] i still think it was choice. and i think he was thinking about lucy when he made, despite how um how disturbing that entire scene was fldgld listen. when he went to the lead farmer's house, they thought so lowly of ghouls, that man and his son genuinely thought he was eating the farmer's daughter 😭 and until further episodes, i'm basically of the mind he'd probably only consume either bad guys or ghouls or both who are about to turn but anyways. back to the main point. cooper already has to face the prospect that he could be one of "them" any moment too, since he was no vials himself in that episode. so it was duly hard for him to watch--- knowing that person like that and then seeing them slowly turn. i think he knew even with any vials, that man was finished. compassionate might be a very odd word for me to use here but i say this for a couple reasons. it's "compassionate" for this universe, at least. the wasteland is cruel and unforgiving. if cooper was just after meat, why... he could've just had lucy. but i think it was an interesting choice to consume a friend type person and a [going feral] ghoul. he's not even consuming a regular ghoul. he put down one who quite literally was already turning into a feral one. it's giving "lost cause" [this show hurt just like the games, swear] looking back on the scene, he kind of tries to have a [last] warm conversation with him. about food. human food. rewatching the scene now, i actually barely caught the fact that cooper shot roger as he was looking away from him. like, my goodness, he didn't hate this man at all. this was mercy k ill if there was one. in the back of my mind, i keep thinking "was this his call to make?". in a lot of ways, i'm still on lucy's side about everything. but lucy isn't a ghoul. and i don't live in the fallout universe. there's always some type of alternative yet this is what cooper thought he should do. a few episodes later, lucy can't reason with a ghoul anymore and has to do the same thing [minus consuming them]. i guess it was his call. she is gobsmacked that he's really about to butcher and eat that man and it's kinda funny he asks her name. some insane foreshadowing that's intriguing on subsequent watches no less. i want to keep this a little short for sanity's sake--- but like. when lucy asks cooper how does he live like this. why keep going. briefly. for a short moment. while he's turned away from her. he remembers. he wishes. he misses. who he was. before all this. then, feeling contempt for who she thinks she is, he makes her butcher roger. and it was in that moment i realized cooper was for sure playing a character to cope. but that's a post for another time, wastelanders ⚡
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sohardlovingyou · 9 days ago
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i feel like you have the best Beatles women takes! I love hearing you talk about them. Like any Beatles adjacent women, girlfriends, moms, employees, Apple scruffs... I don't even care what you get into specifically lol but I would love to hear any thoughts you have and here's some questions if you feel like it.
If you had to switch lives with a Beatles-related woman which one would you pick?
If you could time travel with a really good therapist but she can only see one of client who are you sending to her?
Which woman do you most wish was looked at more for her life outside the Beatles than with them?
Who had the best style?
Which one would you want to go on a trip with?
Assuming it's 100% guaranteed to succeed, which woman are you helping to gone girl her boy?
If you had to pick one of them to be your mom which one would you pick?
Do you have Taylor songs or albums that you think match anyone?
Oh, thank you so much! This ask means a lot to me as someone who spends much of her time fantasizing about going back in time to give all these women a feminist lecture🥰 I could be a better boyfriend than any of those men, but anyway here are my answers:
If you had to switch lives with a Beatles-related woman which one would you pick?
I used to talk about this all the time before, but I'd switch lives with pre-Paul Linda in a second. Living in NYC, and working with rockstars, enough money to live my life with no man bothering me. I would probably be a journalist instead of a photographer, but everything else sounds like a dream to me! (this is extremely romanticized but alas). I guess I'm a bit bitter about all she left behind when she married him, lol, because that is the life I would love for myself (even though I understand why she made her choices and truly believe she was pleased with their life together!)
If you could time travel with a really good therapist but she can only see one of clients who are you sending to her?
Love that you specify "only one client" because we know all of them needed the help, lmao. I'm going with Pattie for this one. For all the pain Ringo, John, and Paul caused to their partners, none of them was hurt enough to believe marrying Clapton (🤢) was the solution to their problems. Also, the way she talks in her book about the PTSD she suffered from being married to George haunts me to this day, like. So so so terrible. (I almost chose Cynthia, but unfortunately, i think she was unsavable).
Which woman do you most wish was looked at more for her life outside the Beatles than with them?
This was harder because I think most of them were somehow happy with being "the wife of" or "the girlfriend of". They loved those men so much, and it hurts me because all of them deserved better, lol. Buuuuuut I'm going to choose Jane! It's obvious that she really wanted to have a career and make a name for herself as an actress, and I can only guess how frustrating it must be to be known as Paul McCartney's ex-girlfriend sixty years later.
Who had the best style?
There's only one correct answer to this question and it is Maureen! Yoko gets an honorable mention tho.
Which one would you want to go on a trip with?
Oh, I think I'm going with Linda. Her vacation style and mine might be a little different, but I'm sure it'll be soooo much fun regardless. She looks like she would be up to anything and has so many interesting opinions about any place. Also, she was a Mom so I'm never going hungry, and never not staying in a decent place, lol.
Assuming it's 100% guaranteed to succeed, which woman are you helping to gone girl her boy?
Cynthia. Funny because she would be the last one to agree, but I don't care, I'm giving up my John girl card and making him pay for all the shit he put her through. We ride at dawn!
If you had to pick one of them to be your mom which one would you pick?
Linda, because she has always reminded me of my own mom🥰. (And the way her children speak about her is also the way i speak about my mom lol)
Do you have Taylor songs or albums that you think match anyone?
Better Man!!!! for ALL OF THEM. But also:
Cynthia: Dear John and Tolerate it
Jane: The smallest man who ever lived and Mr. Perfectly Fine
Pattie: Peter and Sad Beautiful Tragic
Linda: King of My Heart and London Boy (the implications!!!), also Renegade
Yoko: Dancing with our Hands Tied and Guilty As Sin
Now I'm wondering if you meant albums or songs that matched their personalities instead of their relationships, but I did the latter because i have those extremely clear haha
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the-ninja-legacy-whip · 1 month ago
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Ok, ok questions or rather scenarios!
What would happen if, at the merge, Cam landed with Cole?
Or! Or what if on the street! (Maybe Arin and Sora finding her!!)
How would both scenarios change Jesse's and Coles story arc? Without knowing what happened to Cole and Cam, would he have a Villain arc or just leave to find them? Would Cole still stay with the finders? Would their dynamic change, or would Cole leave if he had Cam with her? How would older Cam feel about both parents or just Jesse, depending on which route?
All right, I've put this one off for long enough...! *throws back drink*
What a fascinating inquiry. We really wanna just shred the last of Jesse's joy, don't we? :D
Cam Landing in the Street (lmao): If Cam isn't found immediately, then things don't look good for her... (as she is only two-and-a-half at the time), but if an already-pretty-young-themselves-at-the-time Arin and Sora find her, well...both of them combined might be able to successfully raise a child. All they have to go off of is that she's the current Inheritor of Surprise cuz of the eyes, but due to not knowing Cam's special circumstances, they're led to believe that finding her parents is next-to-impossible, since Surprise normally isn't passed on hereditarily.
...so of course, surprises being what they are, five years later this eventually winds her back into the care of Lloyd (who ofc would panic at the implications of this). He'd take Cam on as a student too but bump finding Jesse to the top of his priorities, but....if Jesse believed he'd failed to protect his only daughter (the last thing Cole asked of him, no less), I dunno how he'd live with that guilt for five years man, that's a lot to ask him of all people :V
How would this change Jesse's and Coles story arc?– Cole's wouldn't change, as he'd still stay with the Finders since they'd needed someone to protect them from the Hoarder + his belief that he landed in the LoLT due to the fact there is no one out there for him to find, therefore he believes he has no reason to go look. Jesse, meanwhile, wouldn't have Cam or Cole to keep on fighting for, and the only thing that would stop him from completely spiraling is if he still manages to find Miranda. But without Cam, he wouldn't have the power to stop any of the Mergequakes that happen nearby, meaning he would have to keep traveling around anyway to stay safe + wouldn't be able to meet up with Lloyd in the same way that I'd planned, so it'd take him waaaay longer to get to the Monastery
Without knowing what happened to Cole and Cam, would he have a Villain arc or just leave to find them? - In this scenario, Jesse would either be wandering the Realms on his own trying to find any sign of them, or he tag teams with Harleigh on her travels to try and look (resulting in constantly just missing them or the other Ninja or something), as the only reason Lloyd finds Jesse in the DR!Jesse events is because Jesse stays in one place (Ninjago City Ruins). But in this scenario, he's so desperate to find a sign of his family that in a cruel fit of irony he keeps missing the mark.
How would older Cam feel about both parents or just Jesse - Cam wouldn't know a thing about either parent, as Jesse wouldn't have been around to explain about Cole + obviously wasn't in Jesse's custody to begin with, and she wouldn't have any sort of knowledge until Lloyd takes her in, and by then it's kinda too late for any real attachment to form without seeing them face to face. When Cole finally returns she can't even be that excited about it (think Nya with her parents) and that shatters Cole (yet doubles down on his choice to go off again to protect Bonzle), while by the time (if) they find Jesse, Jesse might as well be a complete stranger to her. But on the positive side, she's got some very good siblings in Arin and Sora! <3
(But all in all I don't see this scenario being all too feasible in either direction snksgjkfdkgkfds)
Cam Landing With Cole: Or, as I like to call it, Finder!Cam route snksnksskn
Whee happy-go-lucky au where Cam gets to stay with her Papa, meets a nice purple man who vibes perfectly with aforementioned Papa, and gets the siblings she's always wanted in the form of a bird, snake, and skeleton (doubling down in her insistance that she must be a unicorn). Because Jesse didn't end up with Cam (as Cole believes there's no way he'd have her go unless the worst has happened), Cole still thinks Jesse is dead, and thus resolves to integrate Cam into his new little family and all is nice and good and fine even with a mechanical monster attacking every so often and the days being a little too monotonous, repetitive, and predictable for a Master of Surprise, but nevermind all that <3
Cam doesn't ask about Jesse much, though, and Cole doesn't bring him up much either, trying to save Cam some pain and resolves to move on with his life.
Jesse, whenever he may be, doesn't.
How would this change Jesse's and Coles story arc? - Cole now has Cam as a top priority, and as she is a constant reminder of Jesse's existence, that makes him somewhat more hesitant around Geo, but they still wind up as close as they are in canon. Cole isn't nearly as guilt-ridden about missing anything with Cam this time around since, obviously, he was the one that raised her, but unlike Cole in 'canon', Jesse had been constantly looking all those years and is made to feel like all his searching was pointless since everyone was basically thriving despite The Merge taking away quite literally everything of Jesse's (so he's a little bitter). The only reason Jesse manages to rejoin with the others in this scenario is because he runs into Harleigh while he's meandering around and she tips him off about the Ninja's resurgence sometime after Season 1, leaving Jesse to make a beeline for the Monastery and arriving just in time for Cole and the Finders to come tumbling out of the gate.
Without knowing what happened to Cole and Cam, would he have a Villain arc or just leave to find them? - Jesse finding out both his husband and daughter have been alive and dandy living with an entirely different family for five years while he's been miserably alone on the verge of death with worry about them? And that some other random guy has been raising his daughter that he gave up everything for?! Mmmmmmit's not gonna be a good first impression. I won't say 'villain' arc but I imagine he's more...antagonistic here at first lololololololol Cam: Sheesh Papa who's that weird pink guy screaming so much? Jesse: EXCUSE ME I MADE YOU!!!!!!!! Cam: Mmmmm doesn't ring a bell
How would older Cam feel about both parents or just Jesse- Cam winds up as close with Cole as she is with Jesse in the 'actual' turn of events (because no matter what timeline Cole is a good parent), but because she would've also been raised by Geo, she's not exactly lacking for another parent ahaha (especially not one that suddenly comes in yelling in justified outrage but trying to take her away from everything she's come to know). There's probably a whole "nature vs nurture" thing going on when it comes to her custody, but once he has time to calm down and like, process everything, Jesse ultimately chooses Cam's and Cole's happiness over his own in whatever form that may take as he would've done anyway, and if that means they stay with the Finders, then so be it. If he felt there wasn't a place for him at the monastery anymore though (against Lloyd's insistance otherwise), he'd probably just leave to make things less complicated for everybody (as even in the 'canon' events he debates on whether he should've even come back at all........) But, the last thing he's gonna do is force somebody into doing something they're not gonna be happy with.
(Semi-Unrelated but far less angsty, I hc that in this scenario that Geo is the one who gives Cam her lil scarf, which she calls her "Findering" scarf and she always has to go scavenging with it for good luck <3)
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youredreamingofroo · 8 months ago
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εїз Stardew Valley Profile εїз ʚ- Roo Norman -ɞ
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Made by : @bigeyedkitteh ( Profile maker ) Portraits from : Slightly Edited Portraits by Poltergeister Duck and Chicken icons from : Elle's Cuter Coop Animals by Elle/Uploaded by junimods
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(Just a fair warning, this got a LOTTTT longer than I expected it to 😭)
Because I got a little too invested in this, I'm gonna lengthily elaborate on most parts of the profile, enjoy :)
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Pequeño and Gräddkanna/Grädde
Pequeño is a 3 year old Mallard Duck. As a duckling, Pequeño lived with Marnie on her Ranch for a couple of weeks, Marnie was convinced he wouldn't live to see the next week, at this point, as he was scrawny and very obviously a runt compared to the rest of brood. In this same week, Roo was looking for another feathery friend to occupy his space with him and ended up visiting Marnie, and upon seeing the scrawny duckling, he asked Marnie if he could take him in, she warned him, but he was persistent- He left that Ranch with a duckling who could barely hold his own. It's taken three years of strenuous work to keep Pequeño well, but Roo didn't give up and now, at three years old, Pequeño is alive and, although he struggles from time to time, he is well and very happy. Roo calls him Pequeño because it means little, and Pequeño is a very little duck- Pequeño is also one of the only words Roo knows in Spanish. (Pequeño is also a reference to a tame I had in ARK LMAO)
Gräddkanna, or Grädde, is a 6 year old Cream colored Silkie Chicken. Roo has had Grädde for 4 years, like Pequeño, She was taken in from Marnie, although Grädde was in much better condition than Pequeño upon being adopted. Roo never considered himself to be a bird lover, and especially never considered himself to be a bird owner, but it was like love at first sight when he saw Grädde meandering Marnie's Ranch- So Roo began indirectly asking Marnie if Grädde (or Mila, as Marnie had originally named her) was available to buy, she said that Mila/Grädde was there to stay on her Ranch, but it was the saddened look in his eyes when he was exiting that had Marnie begin to reconsider her choice, and Roo left her place empty-handed. A week later, Marnie showed up at Roo's door, early in the morning with a Silkie chicken being cuddled in her arms, she knocked and was met with a rather grumpy Roo, however he lightened up when he saw Mila in Marnie's arms, She offered him Mila for a low price (15 dollars), while she was willing to give up Mila, she wasn't going to give up Mila for nothing- He happily paid Marnie and took Mila, now Grädde, in his arms. Grädde co-parented with Roo to raise Pequeño, Grädde was very happy and eager to take Pequeño under her wing (pun intended), and so she did. Grädde and Pequeño are now best friends and sometimes you'll see Pequeño hitching a ride on Grädde's back, this is more commonly seen when Roo is wandering the town and he isn't actively carrying Pequeño, he [Pequeño] does this mainly because he is too weak to walk for long and has to rest, and Grädde is just strong enough to carry around Pequeño for a moderate amount of time. Gräddkanna means Creamer and Grädde means Cream in Swedish, Roo named/nicknamed her that because of her Cream feathers and because the texture of her feathers reminds Roo of Cream.
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Roo Facts 1-5
- ♪ "Tends to wander town with Grädde and Pequeño" Roo loves his birds, and equally loves wandering as much as he does his birds, so during the day (during any season except Summer), you'll often find Roo wandering about in town or in the forest with Grädde and Pequeño, there's a couple different wandering variations, the most common being him carrying Pequeño with Grädde following suit, an uncommon variant will be of, as mentioned earlier, Pequeño on Grädde's back, and a rarer variant that will only occur later on during your playthrough (around year 2, and progressively becomes more common beyond year 2), is of Roo with only Grädde or Pequeño, this is due to Pequeño's condition and age and Grädde's age, Roo will only carry one of his two birds, as the birds age, Grädde becomes weaker and unable to walk as much and unable to carry Pequeño as long as she used to. As for Pequeño, he is unable to stay out for long at this point, meaning Roo has to leave him at home so he can stay warm, leaving Roo to carry Grädde around town (and vice versa, depending on how Grädde is doing). Another rare variant that only occurs VERY late in the playthrough (around year 4-5+, becomes more common in later years beyond year 6) is of Roo by himself- as mentioned, his birds are old at this point, and around year 4-6, they are too old to be able to even travel with Roo, this variant contains the least amount of dialogue lines from Roo and is the variant where most times, you will not be able to talk to him, due to him being sad about not having his birds (I did not want to include pet death in his story, so Roo's birds do live, however any year after year 6-8 will only include his last wandering variant)
- ♪ "He hates Summer, so most of his summer schedule is spent in his home" It's as the fact states, Roo hates the Summer and thus doesn't leave his home much for most of the day. You're more likely to see him wander around around sunset, as it's cooler and isn't nighttime where his birds won't get lost. Due to this, it is significantly harder to befriend and/or romance Roo during this season- it's still possible, just a bit frustrating/difficult to do so. To get a brief/broader look at his schedule during the summer, here's a time chart of his weekly summer schedule:
Mon-Thurs, Sat : [ 9:00 AM: Waking up [ 10:00 AM: Tending to his birds [ 12:00 PM - 4:00 PM: Hanging out around his home with his birds, awaiting sunset [ 4:30 PM - 5:30 PM: Nap [ 6:00 PM - 8:00 PM: Town wandering with his birds (or without, depending on the year)
Fri : [ 10:00 AM: Waking up [ 11:00 AM: Tending to his birds [ 1:00 PM - 4:00 PM: Cleaning house [ 4:30 PM - 5:30 PM: Nap [ 6:00 PM - 8:00 PM: Town wandering with his birds (or without, depending on the year)
Sun : [ 11:00 AM: Waking up [ 12:00 PM: Tending to his birds [ 2:00 PM - 3:00 PM: More house cleaning [ 3:30 PM - 4:30 PM: Hanging out around his home with his birds, awaiting sunset [ 5:00 - 5:30 PM: Nap [ 6:00 PM - 8:00 PM: Town wandering with his birds (or without, depending on the year)
- ♪ "Used to date Leo until he [Leo] moved to Zuzu City" Leo and Roo briefly dated/were friends with benefits (it was complicated), Leo was new to Pelican Town, and it didn't take long for him and Roo to hit it off, however, Leo did not fancy the small farm/town life, and left a couple of months later for Zuzu city, officially cutting it off with Roo. This took place before Roo got his birds and when he was also new to Pelican Town (albeit, not as new as Leo)
- ♪ "He resides in Cindersap Forest" Roo technically lives in Cindersap Forest, he lives in the forest gap between Cindersap Forest/Marnie's Ranch and 1 Willow Lane (Sam's house), i'm sure ya'll know what I mean, but here's where he is on the map (for all my visualizer homies out there):
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Roo's home is unavailable during the very beginning of a playthrough, and you cannot meet him properly until the Flower Dance. It IS possible to meet him during the Egg Festival, however he is off to the side somewhere beyond the bar, over by Dusty- At this point, Roo won't really talk to you, and will only say "Hello." before going back to watching the festival from afar, this will not count as meeting him. Going back to the Flower Dance, he is found standing awkwardly off to the side by Elliott and Leah, you can talk to him, and he'll, like before, say "Hello." and this will count as meeting him, and you will see him around town from here on out. After meeting Roo, two new areas will be introduced, when going between Cindersap and Pelican town, you will instead go to a small threeway intersection instead of going directly to and fro- going upwards will take you to another small area which is where Roo's home is. I don't have an exact image of what his home looks like right now, but just know it does have a little fenced off area for his birds, and the inside of his home is pretty duck/chicken-proofed. Roo's home cannot be entered until you get 2 hearts with him, and after reaching 2 hearts and entering his home, you will have to further your relationship with him (4 hearts) to be able to enter his bedroom.
- ♪ "Roo rarely visits Calico Desert, but when he does, him and Sandy chat up a storm" Perhaps one of the biggest surprise facts LMAO Him and Sandy are really good friends, unfortunately he doesn't visit a lot cause he hates the warmth of the Desert, but he does occasionally visit her, and their vibes actually compliment each other well and they like to chat and even sometimes gossip between each other (although Roo doesn't like to gossip a lot so it's moreso them just chatting).
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Favorite Thing
I just wanted to briefly elaborate on this one, but it's kind of two things (ofc I couldn't put two), Leo is his favorite thing/person, but since Leo has left and since Roo has... mostly... moved on, Roo's new favorite "thing" is Elliott, he's absolutely enamored with him. (It seems Roo's growing type is long hair...)
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Favorite Villagers
His absolute favorite villager is Elliott, he could marry Elliott if he could, and while Elliott does like him back, Elliott has established that he doesn't want to take their relationship further. Following Elliott (in order of most liked to least), is Sebastian, they both share a very familiar emo/grunge-y vibe... Next is Sandy, who I've talked about- Then it's Alex, who's kind of a guilty-like/crush, Roo doesn't really like some of Alex's ideals/outlooks, but he can't help but catch himself admiring Alex's face when he's near- and lastly is Harvey, Roo thinks Harvey is cute and they're good friends, but Roo is a little weirded out by the fact that Harvey's name is... well, Harvey- If you know Roo lore, you'll know that Roo's birthname is Harvey and thus why Roo getting with Harvey would be a little strange. Saying Roo doesn't like any of the aforementioned villagers isn't right, he loves all his friends (and Elliott a little moreso), however there are a couple of villagers he doesn't like... 👀
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Other Random Facts
★ Roo and Elliott, ironically enough, have the same birthday hehe
★ While Roo is romancable, his sexuality is still in place, and is the only villager/character who is only romancable to male villagers/characters/farmers. If a female character tries to romance Roo (Asking him to the flower dance, Bouquet... etc), He will reject them and their advances, you'll lose a heart with him initially and if you try again a second time, you'll lose 2 hearts and if you REALLY just cannot give it up and try again, you'll lose all your hearts with him and all his dialogue with the farmer will change (basically being distant), you can regain hearts with him, but it takes twice as long and if you do end up trying again for a FOURTH TIME, he'll reject you and will become incredibly distant to the farmer, and you will not be able to regain hearts with him.
★ Most of Roo's disliked items are items that can only be acquired during the Summer (Spice berry, Hops, etc), which goes hand in hand with his general dislike for Summer altogether- While most of his liked items are catered towards Fall items (Fairy Rose, Wild Plum, Plum Jam, etc). Even though his likes/dislikes are catered toward preferred seasons, he also has separate reasons for liking/not liking those things (not liking Hops because he doesn't like beer / liking Fairy rose because of the color)
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solei-eclipse · 4 months ago
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I've been working on something..... It's not turning out the way I want it to by any means but hey it's. being made!! I guess!! that's something at least.
Thank you for your interest! Haha once I finish this up hopefully I can get to explaining why I made the choices I did.
In the meantime, here's a few more random Solei bits! :
Solei appears very lax and often laughs off or smiles through altercations. They keep up an easygoing front, but there are certain signs that make it obvious they're uncomfortable.
When worried, Solei's hands become cold and they try to deal with this by clasping their hands together or hiding them behind their back. It's a very casual gesture, so it doesn't draw much attention.
Solei's favorite pastime is laying under the sun. They enjoy feeling warmth and don't like staying cold for too long.
They're a bad runner 😭 they can't run very fast or for very long and lose their breath quickly.
Solei often says things like it's okay, smiling and nodding very often.
They hate restrictive clothing and prefer clothes that are either light and loose, or very open ones.
They have never worn shoes in their life LMAO
(If they actually made it to the stage) their branding would be on their solar plexus.
Some bits on Guardian Ouro's residence :
Guardian Ouro's residence contains its own "garden" where all the human pets are kept, along with attempted animal copies. The wildlife and plants were unruly and lively to a dangerous extent, but the humans learned to adapt which fascinated Ouro greatly.
The humans Solei grew up with heavily prioritized keeping the peace between themselves in order to remain stable amongst the chaotic environment.
These humans encouraged a mindset of appreciation, bordering on blissful ignorance. They believed that life is a wholly beautiful thing and that it would always be good to them. Ouro ordered both their leader and his servants to encourage this belief.
Negative feelings and fears were often invalidated, and everyone kept a smile on their faces.
The group was led by the eldest and Solei's biological sister, Aeos. Among all the pets, she is the only who has seen and come face to face with Guardian Ouro.
Aeos is incredibly wise and bears knowledge she learned directly from Ouro, being his first pet. Everything Solei learned pre-anakt was from her.
Guardian Ouro views every life form lower than him as a potential test subject. Chasing his fascinations endlessly and fruitlessly, almost in a circle. His ownership of humans is less because he wished for pets and more because he wished to conduct experiments on their various states of being.
The humans were occasionally taken out of the garden and have come into contact with Ouro's servants, so they're not completely oblivious to the fact that they're under aliens. They are unaware of the fact that they're under surveillance in the garden and used to satiate Ouro's morbid curiosities.
None of the pets were raised for singing, so it was quite the suprise when a servant arrived to take one of them to Anakt. Solei being chosen was especially suprising, since they were rather plain and unassuming.
Solei is still unaware of the reason they were sent.
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morpheus-somnium · 4 months ago
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How well I think the Skyrim Sexyman Seven would survive the Death Angels from the A Quiet Place franchise.
Sexyman no. 1: Brynjolf
He is the first one in alphabeth order, and the safest choice to start with
I mean he is a thief and not just any thief; a pretty good one
He is also a Nightingale, c'mon guys
Nocturnal gives him her protection 💪🏻
However one of his main skills is to remain unseen and not to remain unheard
Meaning he has to adapt
But that doesn't give a hard time, just a bit of a headache
He is also very cunning; he uses all kind of tricks to get the Death Angels away
Plus this guy lives in Riften. The place where water always flows around; there are waterfalls nearby, a whole sewer system and a lots of rivers
So this guy would survive the whole monster apocalypse 10/10
Sexyman no. 2: Cicero
We all know Cicero.
We all know that he is loud AF
Especially because I think his little hat would have bells:)
If he (or LDB) chooses to cut it that would increase his chances to survive a lot
But he would still be dumb, and giggle just a little bit too loud
And get the team into a lot of trouble
The LDB would always have their hands on his mouth
He would also enjoy this whole monster-situation? I mean corpses everywhere, he also would probably scare people random, getting them into the danger of loudly gasping or screaming even
So a 4/10 if he's with LDB, and 1/10 if alone
Sexyman no. 3: Miraak
Now, he spends most of his time in the apocrypha, so he wouldn't really realise for a while
However once he is in Tamriel again, oh boy-
He is very powerful and uses spells that can be used long distance
Also let's not forget that he is a dragonborn.
He would probably use the dragon shouts against them
Pros: If the enemy is short distance it would literally blow them apart
Cons: The long distance enemies would hear it and storm the place where he used it (It could probably be heard from all points of the hold)
I think he might also keep some as a pet? Like using magic and whatever to make the Death Angels obidient to him?
He doesn't speak much, but he is cocky enough to not shut up in certain situations
So I give this guy a 8/10 survival rate
Sexyman no. 4: Neloth
He is a grumpy old man
I don't even know what to say about him? 😭
He lives in a mushroom and i think mycelium makes good soundproof walls
But that elevator?? That's so loud
Same with the enchanter
He is a great mage, so of course he could protect himself
He would probably cast an ice block around the head of those things, lmao
Or would cast lighting spells around the monster's sensitive ears?
But he wouldn't stay that quiet
Also, he lives on an island? So the Death Angels wouldn't really be there
So his score would be a 9/10 on Solstheim, and a 5/10 in Skyrim
Sexyman no. 5: Ondolemar
He is cocky, too
He is a scaredy cat
I mean this guy?? He works as a thalmor, as a high-ranking official of a political party know to torture many, and he not only isn't able to get the Talos Temple closed, but also gets the LDB to get one Talos worshipper to jail 😭 He is a disaster
So he would probably curl up a tent, behind a waterfall
jk
He isn't THAT useless
He has quite a few tricks up his sleeve to distract the monsters
So don't worry about him, he can get around just fine, even if he prefers to stay in a safe place
His score is a 5/10
Sexyman no. 6: Serana
She wouldn't have a problem with being silent
However, I think she is very anxious? So the moment she hears those clicking sounds nearby or makes a bit louder noise she is panicking.
Of course, she has been alive for a while, lives through many horros, and saw ugly things, but those things? They are hard to kill for someone who is using swords
Also she mostly remains her human form, and if she decides to transform that would be loud for the Death Angels' hearing (you know the bats, and such)
It would make her life a bit easier, because there would be a lot of corpses she could drink from (if she isn't disgusted by them)
So I'm gonna give her a solid 6,5/10
Crowned Sexyman no. 7; Teldryn Sero
Well, he is a curious case
He is a quiet person in general, if don't talk about him during battles because i think he curses a lot at the enemies
And the monsters wouldn't give him nightmares, because I'm pretty sure he saw some thing during his earlier adventures
However he isn't the sneaky type
And his armor is also a bit noisy
So someone would have to help him around while gets used to it
I think he would know how to kill the monsters?
He would grab some stones and throw them at their faces (Like in that Old Testament story of the little dude and the giant dude)
And he would totally drown them in the waters of Solstheim
I'm giving him a 6,5/10
Overall likeliness of survival of the Skyrim Sexyman Seven:
Most likely to survive
Brynjolf [10/10]
Neloth, on Solstheim [9/10]
Miraak [8/10]
Teldryn Sero & Serana [6.5/10]
Neloth, in Skyrim & Ondolemar [5/10]
Cicero, with LDB [4/10]
Cicero alone [1/10]
Least likely to survive
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babiebom · 1 year ago
Text
Abigail Headcanons
I had wrote some of these for my old blog but forgot to save them so i forgot what i wrote and now I have to start over haha
Tw: cursing, brief sexual mention, cheating(not abby), some canon info may be wrong lmao
Is between 5'4-5'8
Mostly because she does give off tall goth mommy vibes but also gives off short angry troll vibes(I'm 4'11 I'm allowed to say this)
I think she's like 22-24
It's stayed at some point that she takes online college classes right? Or am i insane?
I do 100% think she's the wizards daughter I mean it does line up and if she's not then wtf
It's more than just the hair
But even then like isn't it said that she only dyed it ONCE and the color just never went away?
Like I feel like its one of those things where she had to activate the trait for it to show up
Like Idk if you've seen Barbie in a (and a?) Mermaid Tale but like
Barbie(her name isn't barbie but i cant remember what it is) doesn't show any mermaid traits at all until shes a certain age then she does things to trigger it(like going in the water and being able to breathe or her hair turning pink.)
Or traits that have been there already now making sense(her being obsessed with the water and surfing)
For Abigail, she just needed to dye her hair that specific color in order for it to stay in that state
And she has other abilities like being able to see the Junimos when literally no one else but the farmer and the wizard can.
And her love of adventure and the unknown
And i think she is a witchy girl along with Emily
Also the fact that Caroline hung out near the wizards tower then got pregnant with Abby
I think she still hangs out there sometimes or maybe its a mod or maybe I'm delusional(this one is a fact)
N e ways i've gone on too long about this
I think she would study for something like archaeology or something or like game development.
Does play video games as much as she can
Does rage quit
Gets angry when she dies
Though its canon that Abby and Seb would end up together if not with the farmer(I think?)
Highkey a toxic gamer but her outbursts are funny so it's allowed
I think she likes games like Undertale, the Sonic games, Mario, hates Valorant with a passion but still plays even though it only makes her angry
I feel like her feelings for him are shallow
Not in a bad way
But in a theres no one else for me to realistically end up with or crush on type thing
Like unless she's going to date one of the girls(I think Pierre is homophobic) Seb is her only choice
I do sorta ship her with Haley tho (goth gf x pink gf)
Does wish to be in the adventurers guilde but i also think she would be terrified
Also realistically I feel like she knows it wouldn't work out for long. Though she does sometimes go in the upper(lower?) levels of the mines.
100 percent prefers her mom to her dad
I think if she ever found out about the wizard possibly being her father it would make her be the most torn she has ever been
Because on one hand she does love pierre hes the man that raised her and I dont think she would accept cheating AT ALL and it would hurt her to know hes not her biological father
But on the other hand she would find it cool that theres a reason for her weirdness
Like theres a reason she can see the weird creatures in the forest when no one else can(to her knowledge)
Theres a reason for her longing to venture out and explore the unknown
And the wizard is pretty freaking cool seeing as she hangs out next to his tower often
Either showers everyday or once every 3 days there's no in between
Probably does want to travel at some point, maybe when she has her own money to spend.
If pierre wanted her to take over his store when he gets too old she would refuse
Is sorta sad she doesn't have any siblings, but at the same is glad because she only has to worry about herself
Learned to play the drums as a way to let out her anger
Has an okay voice when singing, but doesn't know how to properly hit notes without fucking up her voice
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