#but I like stories about growth and change more than I like stories about the cyclical nature of life so

[gojoswhitebabydolllashes]

Spongebob me boy😃 we gonna make people cry with this one💪

--

I was busy grieving and loving.

- a story about the events after you lose jayce and viktor when they sacrifice themselves during the war. -

A/N: This will be heavily poetic and emotional and may contain sensitive topics.

----

It's never been so cold.

So quiet.

A month after the war against viktor's army, piltover and zaun were finally united as one. You're not sure how long it's been since you returned to the university, nor are you sure how long it's been since you've been outside.

The council grows weary of their lives and direction without Jayce, and when they announce that they are losing faith in their will to keep going, you can't help but feel the exact same. You don't know how to help them, and they haven't bothered to ask you to take a position as they know you'll decline immediately.

You have yet to feel the sun on your skin and the feeling emerald grass soft like hair beneath your trembling hands. Silence. That's all there is, is pure, cruel, and violent silence that threatens to crush you as it bloats like a cancerous growth on your soul.

What little will you have left to live like this. Pouring your heart and tears into things that will never be held by their owners again. Gadgets and mechanics that have only ever seen the hands of a nimble, sick man and his broad, cheerful partner. You can't bring yourself to try and work on them. You simply didn't have the guts to finish what they started.

Hours bleed into days, days bleed into weeks. Seconds pass by, and you are still not yet to feign even the smallest of smiles. Some moment after midnight, Caitlyn pays you a visit, but her face reminds you of jayce, and you simply can't bear to look at her.

Your greatest friend. Turnt into your worst nightmare.

When you're truly alone with yourself and are out in a drunken daze staring over the crystalline city that was piltover, you stare at the gun that sits on your desk. Like an evil presence that won't leave you alone, it haunts you. The look of it, the sheen on the metal.

You are forever haunted by the fact that the hextech crystals have been confiscated and destroyed. And so, you may never meet your lovers by such a violent ending.

You were not sure what you were anymore.

Hero?

Villain?

But what hero is designed tragic? And where would a villain be if not out cutting souls with his jagged nail?

Broken, painted fingernails dig crevices into wood when you think about where you're supposed to be, and why haven't you succeeded in completing what everyone asked of you long before the war? Why aren't you on your toes and falling to your hands and knees? Were you broken? No, but you were grieving, and a grieving woman owes no one nothing.

Blood has stained your hands for too long, and you can't wash it off. It never comes off. And you have so desperately tried. Your time has started to be spent in the undercity. Fighting against other fighters, ones who are tall and muscular, massive men and women made of metal and dosed with shimmer.

But it's not about their size. It's that they are fighting someone with nothing to lose. There is nothing more dangerous than a person who has nothing on the line. Vi tries to take care of you, telling you that fighting and getting yourself beat up will change nothing. She knew what it felt like to take your anger out on other people. That you feel like hurting or even killing another person will bring back the one you lost.

But it doesn't.

Sometimes, when you spend a few days staying with caitlyn and vi at the kiramman house, you struggle to accept that your reality may just be that you only have three people left that you love. Ekko, vi and caitlyn are always there for you to lend a helping hand.

And although you don't like how it feels to be near Caitlyn anymore, she has helped you heal the most out of everyone. Caitlyn takes you on walks to places you, Jayce, and viktor used to hang out. She takes you to a cafe in the town square and lets you order the very drink that the three of you shared on your first date.

A strawberry milkshake with whipped cream on the top. It's sweet, tooth achingly so. And the cream is sugary and snowy white. The bright colour of pink reminds you of when jayce would blow into the drink and make sugary sweet bubbles in the pink drink.

It would make you and viktor laugh, and you would put cream on each other's noses and laugh like the world wasn't in pieces.

The next place you go is with vi and ekko, it's to the garden where jayce and viktor first asked you to be their partner. It was a spring day, where floral scents were blowing in the breeze, and the cool air is contrasting the warm sun.

The scenery of bright orange flowers and light green leaves on trees, a pond with mossy rocks and lilypads decorated with a small pink blossom. It looks like when viktor's cane fell into the pond and without hesitation, both you and jayce jumped in to retrieve it.

When you two returned to the surface, sopping wet and covered with green algae. Viktor had no doubt in his mind that he would marry you both one day. Ekko tells you that it's okay if you want to cry and you do. You sit on a rock and feel its bumpy, grey surface under your hand. It's rough and warm from soaking in the sun.

Your tears drip onto the rock, and they, for a second, are there as a wet splatter. But they soon evaporate from the sun, and they are gone as quick as they were there. Watching as the tears disappear, it reminds you that this is a happy place. A place where your soul became intertwined with two scientists.

The last place you go is on your own. It's the room where viktor and jayce first started their research. It's still broken and condemned, and the blueprints on the board are torn and browned. Paper scattered on the floor are stuck from battering rains coming through the hole in the wall. You try to pick one up, and it tears, but it's clear the Ink has stopped bleeding and the writing is incomprehensible but you can tell it was jayce who wrote it by the small j that still barely visible on the corner.

Then again, jayce's writing was always incomprehensible. He didn't need water to make his write all different places. He would write up and down, put lower and capitals in the wrong spots. Viktor and you would find his papers and secretly edit them so that he didn't make a fool of himself infront of the council.

However, viktors was impeccable. He wrote like a poet for a poem about his wife. Always using curls and various big words, his q's always had his signature flick. That's how you knew viktor wrote something. Jayce often took his papers to study.

Looking around the room, you know, for the first time, it doesn't hurt to be here. You're alone in the room where your lovers once stood. Yes, it's painful. Yes, you want to burst through the thick concrete walls and scream while bloody. But for once, you just don't. You can't.

Instead you sit amongst rubble and dust and remember them just how they were.

Cheerful and unapologetically themselves.

[theclownghoul]

Arcane Season 2 has me messed up and not in a good way

It’s actually breaking my heart that I don’t love this show anymore.

I don’t want to hate it, there’s pieces I love but there’s also pieces I hate. Act l had me in such high hopes and then it stuttered then crashed and burned.

I just feel so disappointed with so many parts of it. Actively angry at others.

There are some moments that I loved that had me feeling the same high as the first season but every time I thought things would develop better they didn’t.

I think I’m only really happy with Ekko and I was worried about him for much of the season. As an Ekko and Jinx shipper I was pleased with most of their story but the way they ended Jinx’s story undermined the importance of their talk so…

Honestly I would trade all the ship stuff for a proper story arc for Vi, Jinx, Cait and the rest

I saw the signs for Vi as soon as her pit fighter arc didn’t extend passed the promo clips. I kept waiting to delve into her issues but that never came.

Jinx was done so dirty. And this was something I prayed wouldn’t happen. She’s so personal to me in ways that would take too long to go into here. I had high hopes for her, especially after Isha and her starting to move forward, I knew it wouldn’t last but I knew (hoped) it would be interesting. I fully expected Isha to die but the way it happened was so weird?? The scene itself felt like it was manipulating me which is something I hate with a passion.

Likewise I expected her to relapse into suicidality after that and I had suspected that the scene with Ekko would happen. Her scene with Vi beforehand hurt in a good way and I wanted to watch as she hit rock bottom then clawed her way back as she started to mend the broken relationships in her life.

The thing that finally set me off was her hair. I thought she would cut it after she decided to live, as a show a change but before was just so cliché (it did look cute but don’t go trying to distract me)

I really didn’t want people blaming Vi for Jinx running off to try to end herself again. And I didn’t, even though I knew something was wrong about the way the scene played out and lead into the sex scene. I knew something was wrong I was just hoping that I was wrong.

I was so looking forward to the CaitVi sex scene, since King Princess was revealed for the soundtrack. Hoping her and Cait would have a real ass conversation, a hard conversation and then get that moment together but it just felt wrong. I wanted to love it but I didn’t. As a King Princess fan I was so excited but all I feel now is at best apathy and at worst anger. The more I read from lesbians in the fandom and those that care for Vi how I care for Jinx the worse I feel.

Briefly let’s talk about Cait. I was interested in her arc after Act l. Messy it would be and a long road back for sure but I had hope. She was done dirty too.

Back to Jinx…. What the fuck was that ending? Her “sacrifice” felt so similar to her fights with Vi (Act l) and Ekko (S1) where she was going to let herself die. No growth from the rest of the season, that’s how they left us, that’s what they did to a character that they did so beautifully in S1. I don’t care if she’s alive, that’s not a fucking ending.

(Apologies for continuing to bring up my predictions. I just think it’s funny how my thoughts make more sense than what we got)

I didn’t mind the idea of her sacrificing herself for Vi, Arcane is a tragedy after all. Her being the one to protect her sister in the end not because she thought Vi was better off without her but because Vi protects everyone and her sister can help now would have been great.

But that ending rubbed me wrong in every way.

The story of these sisters meant everything to me and what a fool we all were to think it was in competent hands. Like seriously I can’t believe this is the same writing team.

All of us went in with high hopes and then had those hopes crushed.

I’ve seen so many people who were excited to react and analyze go radio silent after Act ll and I hope they stay that way. I’d love to change my mind but I don’t think I can. I don’t think there’s any coming back.

I wanted to take the good moments and leave it alone but I keep feeling the disappointment because the show’s first season left a mark on me that I’ll treasure forever and I can’t let go. I still have so many feelings about this. Piltover and Zaun, Victor and Jayce, Mel and Ambessa, admittedly not my area of expertise but safe to say they all deserved better and we deserved better.

I would say it felt like a fanfic but I know fans have more grace and respect for this story.

This is not the tragedy I signed up for.

[riddles-n-games]

That Night In Prague Rant

Let me start off by saying Hannah and Toby's story was amazing and heartbreaking, Libby and Nash were also sweet and supportive of one another, Xander is awesome at giving emotional depth to others even in the strange circumstance of tackling, and Secret Santa was quite literally a blast. But there's one story I haven't mentioned yet, have I? You know which one since it's the literal title to this rant/critique.

To get the basic pleasantries out of the way, I loved the promise ring scene, the way Jameson admires Avery lighting up and wanting to see the world through her eyes, the fact he wrote her postcards, and Avery's protectiveness of him. That's it. Great. Now we can get to the real stuff. My dear Jennifer Lynn Barnes, when you announced this book back in February during the month of romance, I recall that this book promised to deliver on ROMANTIC stories and showing us how a Hawthorne man loves. Why the heck did you keep trying to insert every possible wink wink nudge nudge moment possible in Avery's POV then?

When she stated Avery was gonna have a POV again, I was excited but I wasn't sure if I should leap for joy. See, given how Averyjameson were portrayed in the last book, I was somewhat disappointed since I really wanted to see Avery through Jameson's eyes in a more romantic light. It was an eyeroll, unfortunately, and what a missed chance for a wedding dress ref in the race outfit scene since he gave her a promise ring.

However, people were saying, ah, it's Jameson, he's a teenage boy. And ok, I did bite my tongue after that because alright, that's just him (though I am still bitter about his lack of development in TBH), but that wasn't the case with Avery. She's my girl, I can always rely on her, right? Three books of build up with a pretty solid character voice made her who she became in TFG. Cool, I was ready to go back. And as I said so many times before, she gave Jameson depth which helped us see what so many did not and I loved how she didn't let him get away with certain things. She was sensible.

WTF was this then? This is not Avery Kylie Grambs. This is A Very Random Imposter (you come up with the anagram). Imagine my fricken surprise when out of nowhere Jameson As A Girl.

The crimes of the story: "after a lengthy and not quite G-rated negotiation" (WT actual F), "like his body wasn't tense in all the right ways", "smile of his made me want to do things", “I would let him demonstrate all the many, many reasons he had to be that smug", "His search had been... thorough" (????).

This sounds so cringey and unlike Avery. It felt like JLB was trying to force Max and Jameson and Rohan into her POV. Clearly after only two years of not being in her original character's POV and changing through 5 main characters (which was a horrible idea in the first place), she's managed to mish-mash her only properly developed character into sounding like another person.

The innuendos here are the worst I've seen. Avery has never been crass or sexually charged so why start that now? We already have characters that take on that route and now you're trying to ruin Avery with that? PUH-lease. Jameson was enough in TBH and now you're trying to ruin my girl? NO. Absolutely NOT. If JLB wanted to implement this in the og trilogy, then it should have been done earlier but no, Avery was never that girl and she shouldn't be now.

This isn't and cannot be listed as character growth in the slightest because if she sounded the same after a year in TFG post THL and also sounded like her normal self in Secret Santa which is in the same book as TNIP, there should be no reason why she sounds like this here. It ruins the continuation in her character POV which is something that at this point should be solid as stone. Not to mention, not everything works for everyone and that's ok. While I hate it, it makes more sense in Jameson's POV than hers. In Avery's POV, I cringe at it because it sounds so unnatural for her and feels like I'm looking at someone trying to fit into a crowd they just don't mesh with.

Three books solidified that. Why else did we fall in love with TIG in the first place? Partly because of who Avery was and who she became over the course of the trilogy. She stood out amongst the crowd. Did she have a similar way of thinking about puzzles like Jameson? Yes. Did she have a different approach to romance? Yes. Did she help Jamie become a more sensible guy? Yes! Was their flirty banter fun and interesting? Always. That's part of what made me love them so much in the first place but it shifted so suddenly that now they're sounding like Savannah and Rohan.

In October, when we had the preview of more chapters, I immediately noted this sounds like a very different Avery, either older or an alternate universe version of her. If she wants to do this with Rohannah, go ahead; they're a new budding romance so that has room for whatever she didn't use in other ones but leave Averyjameson as we've known them to be for three novels that solidified who they are. I know other romances should be given a chance, I never said that shouldn't be the case but if I'm being given the chance to see my favorite ship being in the spotlight, then do it right one last time. You have three books as your guideline.

Anyways, I'm dissatisfied so I will be doing a rewrite of TNIP since this is a shorter thing to take care of than a whole novel. Have a great day and thanks for reading. Fics will be out at some point, God, so much real life work to do.

[blackflash9]

Ratonhnhaké:ton: Growth and Autonomy

"Connor comes across to me as an incredibly naive character." "People will just tell him someone is a bad guy and he’ll go murder the person, no questions asked. He has almost no autonomy."

While I understand why people within the fandom believe this, these interpretations only overlook critical aspects of Connor’s character. His perceived naivety is not a flaw—it’s an intentional feature of his narrative. Connor begins the story as a young man thrust into a complex, unfamiliar world filled with conflicting beliefs and customs. His arc centers on navigating this chaos and growing into someone who balances idealism with hard-earned wisdom. Far from being a passive or blindly obedient character, Connor demonstrates remarkable autonomy and moral depth throughout his story. Take, for example, his approach to William Johnson. Connor doesn’t immediately kill him when faced with Johnson’s plans to purchase native land. Instead, he undermines Johnson’s efforts through the Boston Tea Party, attempting a peaceful resolution rather than resorting to violence.

Sequence 6: Hostile Negotiations (transcript)

Kanen'tó:kon: William Johnson has returned - with all the money required to buy our land. He meets with the elders as we speak. I have begged them to resist. But I fear he shall have his way unless you intervene. Connor: How is this possible? We destroyed the tea. Achilles: The Templars are nothing if not resourceful. You should have heeded my warning.

Even when circumstances force Connor to kill Johnson, it’s a reluctant act, filled with regret and a deeper understanding of the moral weight of his decision.

Sequence 7: The Midnight Ride (transcript)

Connor: I thought it might bring clarity. Or instill a sense of accomplishment. But all I feel is regret. Achilles: Hold fast to that. Such sacrifices must never come lightly. Connor: I had to do it. Not only for my people, but for all the others Johnson would have harmed.

This is not the behavior of someone who acts without thought or autonomy. Similarly, his handling of Thomas Hickey reflects his nuanced morality; rather than simply assassinating Hickey, Connor attempts to bring him to justice by exposing his counterfeit operation and putting him in jail. This demonstrates Connor’s preference for justice over killing whenever possible—an uncommon trait among Assassins.

Connor’s journey also includes grappling with the conflict between the Assassins and Templars. He openly considers the possibility of peace and collaboration between the two factions, particularly during his time with Haytham. This introspection and willingness to challenge the status quo are unprecedented for an Assassin. No other protagonist in the series has or since entertained the idea of reconciliation with such sincerity and depth.

Sequence 10: Alternate Methods (transcript)

Connor: But now their hold is weakened, which makes me believe there's a chance for peace. Imagine what might be accomplished if we were to unite. Achilles: Why the change of heart? Where is this coming from? You've met your father, haven't you? Connor: I do not claim to trust the man—or even like him. But I would be remiss to ignore this opportunity. Achilles: Haytham may listen. But will he understand? And even if he does, will he agree? Connor: Even he must admit that we achieve more together than we do alone.

His independence is further showcased in his relationship with Achilles. Connor often defies his mentor, such as when he reveals the truth about the Assassins and Templars to George Washington, acting on his convictions rather than blindly following orders.

Even in his most emotionally charged moments, Connor’s actions are driven by a thoughtful moral framework. After discovering Washington’s role in burning his village, Connor doesn’t abandon the Patriot cause out of bitterness. Instead, he chooses to support their fight one last time—not because they are perfect, but because he believes freedom, despite its flaws, is preferable to the Templars' control.

Sequence 10: Broken Trust (transcript)

Connor: You seem to think I favor him. But my enemy is a notion, not a nation. It is wrong to compel obedience—whether to the British Crown or the Templar Cross.

Connor’s story isn’t about blind loyalty or unchecked naivety. It’s about growth, introspection, and the struggle to uphold one’s values in an imperfect world. His choices reflect a level of autonomy and moral complexity that sets him apart, making him one of the most layered characters in the Assassin’s Creed series.

[sticks-stones-sonic-insanity]

Ok idk how plausible this is but like. Just considering the possibility. Let's think about it for a second.

Shadow has Chaos Island on his register for Shadow Generations. In a more meta explanation, we know its because Chaos Island was the least utilised location in Sonic Frontiers: most of its platforming was 2D, and the more interesting locations that players wanted to travel to were either unreachable or off in the distance as set design. Among other things. Shadow himself hadn't actually been there, but he hadn't clocked that since the game's story took place at the same time as 2011 Generations did.

Gerald's explanation for its, as well as that of Sunset Heights' existence in white space was that the Time Eater (or Black Doom?? Idk they don't really make it clear who's controlling what) was pulling from locations in Shadow's FUTURE as well as his past, so some locations that were present were for a future Shadow to experience instead.

Is it at all possible... that maybe we haven't seen that version of Shadow either? Is it possible that Shadow is among a cast who return to Starfall Islands in a Sonic game further into the future than what we know about?

I don't have much to back this, and I'm cool with that. It's just an interesting idea to think about.

The plot of Sonic Frontiers is fairly linear, but the primary story beats within the characters held a very clear message about change. Change, progression, and wanting to move on to become something more than what they believed themselves to be. Amy wants to explore the world and find more places to share her passion and love with others. Knuckles wants to push himself to leave Angel Island and have a life outside of his role as the Guardian of the Master Emerald. Tails wants to be more independent, and spend time honing his skills without Sonic to fall back on when he's in trouble. Sonic is notably excluded from this common desire to change, but they don't touch much on his reaction to this information and he's primarily there to spurr on their motivation anyways. I have my own feelings about Sonic himself in Frontiers, but it's not super important to go into here. Point is, the characters here are looking for growth. An opportunity to give to themselves room for change.

Shadow did much of the same in Shadow Generations, but Gerald's dialogue about his motivation in life being stagnant after he and Maria move on is a nod to the idea that Shadow is very much not done on the development front.

He's let go of his past, and has a drive to keep moving forward in honour of it.

Now what?

I'm not sure how, or when, or if it could happen, but I think it would be interesting for Shadow to find that same kind of time for introspection as (three of) the core 4 did on the Starfall Islands. Frontiers had that softer, more serious tone to it that Shadow's change in attitude would benefit from. His half of generations was able to match that tone, since he made most of the journey on his own. Anyone who interacted with him brought an atmosphere that fit the individual cutscene.

What kind of conclusion could he come to, given the time to think about it? Who would be at his side to help him voice his thoughts?

Does Shadow know what he wants in his life? If not to Maria, where will he look to find the answer to that question?

All of this speculation is mostly shot down by the fact that this game occurs that little bit too far back in the timeline for these things to line up, but I still wanted to consider it. Its interesting to think about, and I've been having fun trying to guess what Sega has in store for these little guys. Whatever comes next, I hope it's got the same love and care in it that went into Shadow Generations, because that way we know we'll be in for something good. Lmk what you think!

[assblastergaster]

the way jayvik fans are ignoring the entire plot of the show to raise up their ship is so…i thought tumblr was being dramatic when they said yaoi shippers will just ignore any women and plot just to prop up their own desires.

like let’s not be deluded a lot of people emphasized caitvi a little too much—to the point they ignored the story—but that was nothing compared to this. like, i get it, they’re two hotties with a beautiful, complex narrative surrounding them and tying them to their world and each other. but if a romantic or sexual relationship was a part of that, there’s no way in helllll fortiche or the writers would’ve maintained their status as “just” best friends and brothers. (which also ignores how deep and beautiful a bond between best friends, siblings, partners can be)

i know some people might not remember it but i remember in 2021 there was a slight whisper from some people, especially on reddit, who were annoyed that the show focused so much on women’s relationships (sisters, girlfriends, daughters) and not men’s; obviously these people missed the point in an entirely different direction but they’re on the same starting track as the jayvik romance phenomenon. jayce and viktor are as much vander and silco as they are themselves. they are vi and jinx. they are brothers by bond, not by blood (though eventually they are by the blood they spill). they are the third telling of this all important story between siblings, the third outcome. vander and silco could not handle what they wrought and eventually killed each other. vi and jinx could not handle what they had done and had to separate themselves completely lest they be stuck in a constant drowning battle. jayce and viktor couldn’t fix what they had done and thus had to work together to destroy it, as they had to cause it. notably: these latter two outcomes reflect the overall trajectory of the show. vander and silco (united by ideals) could not forgive themselves or each other, even for their goal to save the world. jinx and vi (united by blood) and jayce and viktor (united by discovery) learned from themselves, from each other, that they have to forgive in order to do what’s ultimately needed.

also—something i’ve seen NOBODY mention is Skye. Skye is honestly so important to viktor’s arc and nobody seems to remember or care. she has been accused of being one of arcane’s few flaws, being a victim of “fridging.” in some ways, this is absolutely true. she was just a random female character introduced to make viktor feel bad—but that’s kind of the point. viktor’s newfound hatred (end of s1) of the hex core comes because he realizes that his arrogance and desperation have lead him to kill someone he never got to know on a deeper level (indicated by him learning more about her from her diagrams than he has the whole time). he is furious that he let that happen, that it took an innocent life to be lost forever just to spur him to realize the error of his ways. it why he wanted to be left to die naturally. her inclusion in the brief time where viktor was “ascended” but not yet gloriously evolved, was some of the points at which viktor seemed happiest. we didn’t get to see much of them—which is sad—but their constant interactions and her looming presence whenever he was shown in his astral state confirmed how much he regrets losing her. this does NOT mean they are a romantic item, though to some it may, but it does mean that viktor’s care and character growth/change for others is being unfairly sidestepped in favor of a ship. she even goes so far to say that “no, you won’t” when he says he’ll miss their talks—implying either that she was the first to acknowledge that he was not going to be the viktor she knew, or that she knew that the same arrogance in him now was in him when she was alive (and that he cared about nothing but himself).

this is not even to mention that this also completely sidelined Mel, who does eventually move on due to reasons outside either her or jayce’s control, was still his lover and confidant for a long time. her arc informs his as does he, hers. her growth into her powers while he shies away from unknown magic is a reflection of their season 1 selves, where jayce embraces his newfound inventiveness and influence while she fears her what she knows her mother will do. mel being routinely ignored is due in no small part, im sure, by misogyny and racism—but she is just as much a main character as they are (game notwithstanding).

now i’m not saying this to be a jayvik hater. myself? i love caitvi, probably more than i should have above base appreciation of their worth to the story and beautiful writing, so i get it. this doesn’t mean i think jayvik is bad inherently—but lofting it above all else is annoying. the romances of arcane are sooo beautiful and complex but they’re only a part of what the story is trying to tell you, so a manufactured relationship that supersedes all is counterintuitive.

[crowroboros]

I went Carl first. My initial impressions from his route were:

TJ/Flynn/Leo did not have much given that they weren't in Carl's route much. TJ seemed traumatized about "what happened at the lake" and was very much the "goody two shoes" Christian kid; Leo didn't seem to be able to let go of the “perfect get-together” idea; and Flynn seemed kind of like a dick but because he knew something was up about the Lake incident.

Carl's situation was both frustrating but also really understandable. I completely get how debilitating anxiety can be and him being born into a rich family doesn't change the trauma and struggles he experienced. Though it is frustrating cause he is born into a rich family who coddle him and only back up his inaction; Carl needed to get help with his anxiety and his parents didn't even make much of an effort to try to assist him in that journey. Debilitating anxiety and self-esteem issues aren't a “just get your shit together” sort of issue, you don't just wake up one day and go “I'm better now”. It takes work and a support system Carl didn't have a drive to do that work, nor did he have that support system (minus Flynn) prior to his route.

I did not (and still do not) see his parents as being anything more than superficially supportive. They clearly care about him and his well-being, but not in a way that's truly beneficial to him or his growth. His parents are definitely a massive step up from Jenna's, but I don't see them as particularly spectacular or anything. They're just rich. A big part of Carl's self-esteem issues is that his parents never actually supported his interests. They didn't outright show hatred like Jenna's, just complete indifference. They showed him that while they do care about him, they couldn't give much of a shit about what he actually likes and wants to do in life. Whether they meant it or not, they gave him the impression that his art career and personal interests were "lesser" things not worth taking seriously.

I doubt they actually wanted to make him feel that way, but with how Carl talks about his own art; his initial desire to major in art, which was vetoed by his parents in favor of business; and his story arc over his route, it's my own interpretation that Carl's issues stem from being treated as his family's successor and heir to the business rather than his own person. And part of his route is overcoming that (something I also talk more about in this ask).

And so on a similar note, Jenna's frustration with Carl is completely understandable cause she was born into the exact opposite circumstances and managed to progress in life in the exact opposite way than Carl. She grew up poor with a very abusive family life with parents who didn't give a shit about her. She's right in a lot of what she says, but fails to fully grasp the extent of Carl's mental health struggles, seeing it more as a moral failing and laziness on his part.

It makes sense why she thinks that, as with the information she's presented, that's how she interprets the situation. It isn't like Carl is the most open about how he's feeling and about how things are for him, so why would she know? It's like what you said in the Jenna character analysis post you made; It’s obvious to her that the town breaks people and if they were smarter they would know they should leave; if they were stronger or just tried harder they could leave because that's what she did.

Beyond that though, I saw Jenna as really independent and steadfast in her own interpretation of the world. She's a fascinating character.

First Route

I'm curious; what Route of Echo did you first play and what were your impressions of each of the main characters, just from that route?

I did Flynn's route first.

Chase: Despite the reveals and some of his behavior, I actually liked him. Super flawed, but still relatable and somewhat tragic.

Carl: Had a big part in Flynn's Route; I thought he was a bit of a goof, but well meaning. Felt pretty bad for him when the interview went south. Was definitely weird seeing him in other routes without Daxton to bounce off of.

Leo: I ended up picking all of the Daxton option, so Leo was muy loco here. Still didn't tip me off to how his route was going to go though. Mostly I just felt bad for him (if a little scared) because it was very clear choosing not to talk things out led to this.

Jenna: Jenna came off as overprotective, but even though she was overly harsh with Flynn, I did get where she was coming from and couldn't judge her too hard. She also redeemed herself (and her relationship with Flynn) when he trusted her to use a gun, and she shot the monster on the road (and the ending with little Jenna left me loving her and her relationship with Flynn).

TJ: I kind of feel like this is TJ's strongest route; he tells Leo and Jenna to shut up and stop babying him and willingly tells Flynn what happened. While he spends the rest of the route scared out of his mind (understandable), he's still less comatose than he is in Leo and Jenna's routes. I'd say he left a pretty good impression.

Syd the Kid: I think I'm slowly coming around to the idea that kid Sydney is my favorite character, and I've replayed his scenes more than any other part of the game. They're just so good and they give you such a good sense of who this child was. I know he bullied TJ (and the tragic backstory doesn't excuse that), but I still love him (and what he could have been).

Flynn: Man of the hour. One of the, if not the most tragic character in the game. Chase wanted to know what his deal was, and this route sure did tell us his deal. None of this excuses how he treated TJ (or the others), but knowing his motivations (and what he's done) makes his actions in the other routes, particularly Jenna's, much more meaningful. Came out of this really admiring the complexity of his writing and how he never stops being an asshole, but is an asshole you root for. (Disclaimer, Flynn is the character I most relate to, so I might be a little biased.)

[morzowo]

so one character got to learn how to live again, how to reenter society after traumatizing event that will forever impact his life, got to heal and rebuild his relationship with his family even estranged father, reconnected with his old friends and was able to create reliable support system of people that also grew throughout this healing process and now can understand him more and be there for him, got to graduate and start his own business and now can even give inspirational speeches to help others

and the other one had to leave two closest people to him that were his only support after his family death bc 'friends' he had before weren't type of people worth reconnecting with, move out of his country abandoning everything he knew his whole life just to * checks notes * start a job he didn't really want and the main reason he needed higher pay was to establish financial stability for one of two people who he had to leave and that no longer wanted to be with him

okay yea okay sure both cases are about personal 'growth'

[chittychittyyangyang]

I'm not strong enough for the "Neo is terrible, irredeemable, and deserves what happens" stuff again since they are going to talk about her in the roundtable today.

[sergeantpixie]

I would love to hear all the reasons you ship Rory/Logan and prefer them to Rory/Jess! Same, by the way :)

Hi anon! It's always fun to meet another Rogan shipper <3

Honestly I'm gonna stay away from comparing them because I am too old for ship wars. Also I actually do like Jess as a character a lot. I enjoy his friendship with Rory too, especially as they grow up. I think he becomes a better friend to her and I'm glad he showed up to knock some sense into her about Yale. I don't think anyone else would've gotten through to her in that moment. Logan quite literally couldn't because a) he hasn't known her for nearly as long so even if he understood that she was making the wrong choice - "you love school" is one of my favorite Logan lines, he takes her so seriously even when it's things he personally cares nothing about, like school - and b) Logan is used to doing what people want him to do. Rory playing the role of the DAR darling is the equivalent of him going on business trips out of state with his dad: what they were 'born' to do. But he doesn't really like it. We see how uncomfortable he is with it - he just doesn't know what to say. Jess knows Rory well enough to call her out on her shit when she really really needed it.

I liked Rory and Logan as a couple right away, I enjoy their chemistry and the fact that they have things in common and also different interests and personalities and upbringings. I like that Logan challenges Rory and that she surprises him. I like that he's willing to try new things with her and I like that he gets her to step outside of her comfort zone. Even when it goes badly, like their open relationship, it forces Rory to step up a bit. She's better at communicating with Logan than she has been in her relationships in the past because of it. I like that they're really, sincerely friends. They prank each other and he keeps up with her banter.

I also love the Rory is Luke and Logan is Lorelai comparison, it really rings true to me. Rory and Luke are the characters described as hermits and Logan and Lorelai have a lot in common, including things Lorelai criticizes Logan for. (After all, Lorelai gets the wedding planner fired in the same season that Logan gets the maid fired in.) I enjoy that dynamic of bright, cheerful characters and more shy, reserved characters together. Despite all of my quibbles with season 7, I do think they got it right that Lorelai is someone Logan would look up to and hope to emulate.

I'm gonna stop there, I really could go on for far too long. Thank you, anon! This was fun :)

[aroacettorney]

when will aup sidestories return from war and stop leaving me bitter about how the main story ended

[pyro-sea]

Sometimes when you take a break for a while, you come back and you're rusty. So you work on shaking off the rust. And once the rust and the dust and the cobwebs have started to clear, you have to grapple with the reality that you're not only rusty, but your style has changed. You're not the same as you once were. You might have grown into improvement during your much-needed rest, but you still cannot return to create in the same voice that you used to.

Your creations are different now. And you have to face that.

[thinkingnot]

i love you the humanity in art

i love you allusions to things personally influential to the creator i love you homages i love you references to previous stories a creator has told i love you repeating iconography over the course of several projects i love you reused characters put into new contexts i love you creator's thumbprint i love you linguistic quirks i love you themes approached over and over again from different angles over the course of a creator's body of work i love you visible growth i love you shout-outs i love you reference-as-storytelling i love you required reading to enjoy a story i love you foundational texts

[regretmuch]

don't talk enough about the other npcs in rues life. should probably change that at some point.

[vaspider]

While I'm writing things that I've been intending to write for a while... one of the things that I think that a lot of people who haven't been involved in like... banking or corporate shenaniganry miss about why our economy is its current flavor of total fuckery is the concept of "fiduciary duty to shareholders."

"Why does every corporation pursue endless growth?" Fiduciary duty to shareholders.

"Why do corporations treat workers the way they do?" Fiduciary duty to shareholders.

"Why do corporations make such bass-ackwards decisions about what's 'good for' the company?" Fiduciary duty to shareholders.

The legal purpose of a corporation with shareholders -- its only true purpose -- is the generation of revenue/returns for shareholders. Period. That's it. Anything else it does is secondary to that. Sustainability of business, treatment of workers, sustainability and quality of product, those things are functionally and legally second to generating revenue for shareholders. Again, period, end of story. There is no other function of a corporation, and all of its extensive legal privileges exist to allow it to do that.

"But Spider," you might say, "that sounds like corporations only exist in current business in order to extract as much money and value as possible from the people actually doing the work and transfer it up to the people who aren't actually doing the work!"

Yes. You are correct. Thank you for coming with me to that realization. You are incredibly smart and also attractive.

You might also say, "but Spider, is this a legal obligation? Could those running a company be held legally responsible for failing their obligations if they prioritize sustainability or quality of product or care of workers above returns for shareholders?"

Yes! They absolutely can! Isn't that terrifying? Also you look great today, you're terribly clever for thinking about these things. The board and officers of a corporation can be held legally responsible to varying degrees for failing to maximize shareholder value.

And that, my friends, is why corporations do things that don't seem to make any fucking sense, and why 'continuous growth' is valued above literally anything else: because it fucking has to be.

If you're thinking that this doesn't sound like a sustainable economic model, you're not alone. People who are much smarter than both of us, and probably nearly as attractive, have written a proposal for how to change corporate law in order to create a more sensible and sustainable economy. This is one of several proposals, and while I don't agree with all of this stuff, I think that reading it will really help people as a springboard to understanding exactly why our economy is as fucked up as it is, and why just saying 'well then don't pursue eternal growth' isn't going to work -- because right now it legally can't. We'd need to change -- and we can change -- the laws around corporate governance.

This concept of 'shareholder primacy' and the fiduciary duty to shareholders is one I had to learn when I was getting my securities licenses, and every time I see people confusedly asking why corporations try to grow grow grow in a way that only makes sense if you're a tumor, I sigh and think, 'yeah, fiduciary duty to shareholders.'

(And this is why Emet and I have refused to seek investors for NK -- we might become beholden to make decisions which maximize investor return, and that would get in the way of being able to fully support our people and our values and say the things we started this company to say.)

Anyway, you should read up on these concepts if you're not familiar. It's pretty eye-opening.

[reasonsforhope]

Ancient redwoods recover from fire by sprouting 1000-year-old buds

Article | Paywall free

When lightning ignited fires around California’s Big Basin Redwoods State Park north of Santa Cruz in August 2020, the blaze spread quickly. Redwoods naturally resist burning, but this time flames shot through the canopies of 100-meter-tall trees, incinerating the needles. “It was shocking,” says Drew Peltier, a tree ecophysiologist at Northern Arizona University. “It really seemed like most of the trees were going to die.”

Yet many of them lived. In a paper published yesterday in Nature Plants, Peltier and his colleagues help explain why: The charred survivors, despite being defoliated [aka losing all their needles], mobilized long-held energy reserves—sugars that had been made from sunlight decades earlier—and poured them into buds that had been lying dormant under the bark for centuries.

“This is one of those papers that challenges our previous knowledge on tree growth,” says Adrian Rocha, an ecosystem ecologist at the University of Notre Dame. “It is amazing to learn that carbon taken up decades ago can be used to sustain its growth into the future.” The findings suggest redwoods have the tools to cope with catastrophic fires driven by climate change, Rocha says. Still, it’s unclear whether the trees could withstand the regular infernos that might occur under a warmer climate regime.

Mild fires strike coastal redwood forests about every decade. The giant trees resist burning thanks to the bark, up to about 30 centimeters thick at the base, which contains tannic acids that retard flames. Their branches and needles are normally beyond the reach of flames that consume vegetation on the ground. But the fire in 2020 was so intense that even the uppermost branches of many trees burned and their ability to photosynthesize went up in smoke along with their pine needles.

Trees photosynthesize to create sugars and other carbohydrates, which provide the energy they need to grow and repair tissue. Trees do store some of this energy, which they can call on during a drought or after a fire. Still, scientists weren’t sure these reserves would prove enough for the burned trees of Big Basin.

Visiting the forest a few months after the fire, Peltier and his colleagues found fresh growth emerging from blackened trunks. They knew that shorter lived trees can store sugars for several years. Because redwoods can live for more than 2000 years, the researchers wondered whether the trees were drawing on much older energy reserves to grow the sprouts.

Average age is only part of the story. The mix of carbohydrates also contained some carbon that was much older. The way trees store their sugar is like refueling a car, Peltier says. Most of the gasoline was added recently, but the tank never runs completely dry and so a few molecules from the very first fill-up remain. Based on the age and mass of the trees and their normal rate of photosynthesis, Peltier calculated that the redwoods were calling on carbohydrates photosynthesized nearly 6 decades ago—several hundred kilograms’ worth—to help the sprouts grow. “They allow these trees to be really fire-resilient because they have this big pool of old reserves to draw on,” Peltier says.

It's not just the energy reserves that are old. The sprouts were emerging from buds that began forming centuries ago. Redwoods and other tree species create budlike tissue that remains under the bark. Scientists can trace the paths of these buds, like a worm burrowing outward. In samples taken from a large redwood that had fallen after the fire, Peltier and colleagues found that many of the buds, some of which had sprouted, extended back as much as 1000 years. “That was really surprising for me,” Peltier says. “As far as I know, these are the oldest ones that have been documented.”

... “The fact that the reserves used are so old indicates that they took a long time to build up,” says Susan Trumbore, a radiocarbon expert at the Max Planck Institute for Biogeochemistry. “Redwoods are majestic organisms. One cannot help rooting for those resprouts to keep them alive in decades to come.”

-via Science, December 1, 2023