#but I just moved to a new city and don't know anyone so that's stressful lmao

[hydrasshole]

.

[agirlwhodreamsandwishes]

Never again

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: When you feel like you are not worthy of being part of the avengers, you discover someone who thinks exactly the opposite.

a/n. So, this is my first fanfic :). I would really appreciate if you tell me if you liked and your opinions about it! I hope I don't dissapoint anyone! Any advice would be appreciated. And please, remember English is not my first language.

Word count: 1.5k

Fluff, shy Bucky.

As a new avenger everything was hard for you. Not because the rest of the team wasn’t nice or understanding with you, but because of all the pressure you had to go through. Everyone in the city was looking at you all the time, at the new girl, questioning every move you made. Why wouldn’t they? You are the novelty, something new to talk about after a calm period of time. You were there for six months and you were already stressed. 

“Hey Y/N, you okay? You seem off.” You heard Wanda asking as she looked at you with a frown. You had made friends; Sam and Wanda were immediately your favorite people in the team since the first time you arrived, always so welcoming and nice. But you never tell them how you really felt; you didn’t want to be a bother, they all had their own worries and you didn’t want to be another one to add to the list. “Yeah! I’m just tired, I couldn’t sleep last night.” You try to fake a smile hoping she would buy it and stop asking.

Every day at night you go on a walk by a little beach near the compound— your safe place, a moment of peace in which you let your feelings out, crying while nobody is watching or listening to you. At least, you don’t think anyone notices your daily routine, you think you’re being cautious. But that’s not the case, there’s one person who has been watching you since almost the first time— Bucky Barnes, the cold and sometimes rude super soldier. 

Bucky Barnes was stunned the first time you met him, but you thought he didn’t care about you. He looked at you when you introduced yourself, nodded and left the room. You almost cried. Why was he that rude? The truth was that he couldn’t stop thinking about you. When you met him you didn’t look scared of him nor you didn’t seem to hate him. You were like a ray of sunshine, smiling and being nice. He couldn’t allow himself to be near you, he didn’t deserve you. But he started to notice your nightly walks and he couldn’t allow you to go alone. What if something happened to you? No, no, that couldn’t happen. He wouldn’t let anything happen to you.

Bucky suffered each time he saw you cry, but he didn’t want to interfere, thinking you wouldn't want him near. So he tried to cheer you up from a safe distance. You received flowers (sunflowers, because they reminded him of you), your favorite candies and, even once, a book you wanted to read for a few weeks before he sent it to you. You didn’t know who was buying those things for you, you thought you had some fan like the other avengers had. 

“Hey! Sam! Look what I received today! Someone sent me some candles! They smell amazing!” Sam chuckled at your excitement looking discreetly at his super soldier best friend, who was sitting at the sofa, peeking at you from behind the book he was reading. “Y/N, that fan of yours must really like you a lot, doesn’t it look like that, Bucky?” Of course, he knew his friend, and he knew Bucky was head over heels for you. “Yeah, sure.” Bucky hid himself again behind the book, not before sending a death glare to his friend. You blush, realizing in that exact moment that he was there. You might have developed a tiny crush on him. Well, maybe not that tiny, but he was so handsome. And even though he barely talked to you, you loved when you saw him laughing and joking with Sam and Steve. It was a rare but beautiful sight.

It was night again, and the day had been really hard for you, you had made a mistake that caused the loss of some important files. The team was able to recover them, but still, you felt awful. It was like you only failed again and again. That night, you started walking by your comfort beach but you couldn’t see through all the tears falling down your eyes; it was too much. You sat in the sand and started crying; you couldn’t stop. 

You felt strong arms wrapping you. “I’m here.” You could recognise that voice anywhere. Bucky was there, with you, hugging you and telling you that he was there for you. You hugged him tight while crying more and more, while he caressed your hair. “It’s okay, everything is going to be okay.” 

When you calmed yourself, you didn’t want to move, you were too embarrassed to do something. Not only had someone seen you crying, but that someone was Bucky Barnes himself. “Y/N? Do you feel better now?” 

You nod and look at him, your face completely red. He chuckles when he sees how embarrassed you are. “Do you want to talk about it? I’m here for you if you need me.”

“I… I feel awful. What I did today… it could’ve ended really badly, Bucky. I’m only a burden; I don’t belong here. People are watching me fail everyday at something. I can’t anymore.” You try to not start crying again but you fail.

“Don’t say that That’s completely false, Y/N. You’re really important here. You don’t realize how helpful you are here.” He hugs you again and kisses your forehead while you keep crying. 

“Do you really believe that? I’m not that relevant; I’ve been here for six months.” You look at him again, still blushing.

“Don’t you realize how much we need you? It’s not only the fact that you are an amazing agent, it’s also because you always have a smile on your face, always smiling. You are always there when someone needs something, willing to help. You don’t want anyone to suffer, but you suffer alone. The team would not survive without you. I wouldn’t survive without you.” He whispered that last sentence and if it wasn’t for the fact that you were still hugging and you were so close to him, you would’ve missed it.”

“What?” You blushed again. “Bucky, what do you mean?” 

It’s his turn to blush, as he ignores your question. “You know, it’s not the first time I see you here… I just didn’t want to bother you. It seemed like you wanted to be alone and… yeah, today… I couldn’t just stare and do nothing.” 

“I appreciate it. I really do. I needed that hug.” You look straight in his eyes. “But can you answer my question, please?” You saw how he avoided your eyes and blushed more. You then realize that he hadn’t let you go off his arms, and you blush as you start to chuckle because you two look like idiots. 

“Are you really gonna make me answer that? Can we ignore it, please?” He knew he’d have to answer but he didn’t want to. 

“Yes, please.” You now looked at him with a serious expression and he realized that this was his chance, he was going to tell you how he feels about you.

“Okay, but please don’t interrupt me, I need to say this quickly” You nodded. “Y/N, I… since the fist time I saw you, you live rent free in my mind. You have the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen. You truly are light; you bring sun to the darkest days. You remind me of a sunflower. When you started walking at night, I started too; I couldn’t let anything happen to you. When I saw you crying every night… my heart broke in a million pieces, I wanted to help you, be there for you everytime you needed me. But I didn’t know if you would’ve wanted me to be with you, I know that we are not that close, and I feel it’s my fault.” You didn’t know what to say; you stared at him in shock.

“Bucky, why? Why didn’t you tell me this sooner? Why didn’t you talk to me? Or tried to be my friend?” You were trapped in his eyes, so blue you thought you could drown in them.

“I don’t deserve you, Y/N. I… I have something to confess. The flowers, the candles… It was me.” He looked away from your eyes.

“Look at me, Bucky, please.” He looked at you, then at your lips. The tension was palpable. You looked at his lips and then up at his eyes. When you saw the way he’s looking at you, you felt at home, safe. You had never felt as loved as in that moment. So you did it. You kissed him and the world stopped. It was just both of you; nothing else mattered. You felt safe with him and you knew you’d never be alone again.

“Bucky? I don’t want to do this walks alone again.” He laughed and wrapped his arms around you again, kissing your forehead. 

“Never again, love, never again”.

[knoxic]

A kiss may ruin a human life.

Oscar Wilde

-Masterlist- part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / part 4

wc: 2,1k

warnings: miscommunications (but really there's almost no communication at all), self deprecating thoughts, mentions of death, ptsd, insomnia, anxiety, grief(?), angst,

i think that's it but please let me know if there's anything else!

a/n: this work implies that Hotch heard Haley's last breath. timeline is around season 6-7 but it doesn't really matter. this is heavily based on my own experience from death and hearing someone's last breath. Hotch is a little out of character but it'll get better i promise, this was supposed to be something just for myself but i decided to post it, that being said, im already writing part 2!

no use of y/n!

He was distant. 

He kept avoiding you, every day, even when you got back to the hotel and had no other choice but to be around each other, he showered and said some casual phrases that could damn well be said to a stranger.

You tried to understand, he was stressed and haven't slept well in days but, fuck, wasn't it happening to everyone else? And they weren't avoiding you...

Asking if he wanted something to eat or if he wanted that shitty coffee just got you a cold and empty answer. "No, thanks.", "I've had enough for today, thank you.", "I'll just finish some files," and etc. Sure he was polite, you don't think Hotch could be rude even if he wanted to, at least not with someone he was close to, but he was always so gentle and warm, had you done something to make him mad?

It started off just as every other day started, a new case in a city you've never been to before. Sharing a room with your boss meant a different routine than if you shared with anyone else in the team, late nights and early mornings, the sound of pen scratching paper being the first thing you heard when waking up and the last when you were drifting off, you wondered if he even slept at all.

The answer was no, he barely ever slept during a case, especially if he could hear you breathing all night. 

He was scared, scared it would happen again. It was unrealistic and he knew, it happened too many times already, but twice like that was terrifying.

Terrifying to the point he was paralyzed, every night you whispered that sweet "Good night, Hotch." and it flipped the switch, he would now spend the night awake to make sure that you would tell him "Good morning, Hotch" in a gentle yet strong voice. That whisper sounded enough like the gasp he heard that one time, and it always immediately set off every trigger he had of that unfortunate day.

Every night he spent with you in the same room he tried to distract himself enough not to hear your steady breaths, finishing random files that weren't so important and sometimes even going as far as writing them twice. When he got tired enough to pass out, he would lie down and hope that the second his head hit the uncomfortable pillow he would be asleep. 

It never happened.

He kept listening. You sometimes tossed and turned in your sleep, and he knew it meant you were probably having nightmares but it always soothed his mind. If you were moving it meant you were still alive, and the rustling of the sheets downed out the agonizing sound of your breath.

Sometimes he slept, but even when he did, he kept listening, gunshots echoed inside his head, his aching hands clad with blood holding her body, the sound... the horrific, terrifying, agonizing sound of her last breath.

He thought it had stopped, he has triggers of course but, it wasn't always that they were set off like this, usually it happened sometimes when Jack slept on his chest and that meant carrying him to bed, but he normally allowed himself a bit of self care and went to his own room, close enough from his child to hear if he called but far enough to not hear his steady breaths. Being stuck in a hotel room did not allow him that. He tried soundproof headphones after the second night they spent together a couple years ago, he quickly figured it was somehow more agonizing than being able to hear.

Now three days into the case, he was desperate for a night alone, to drown in complete silence and darkness. Thankfully, yet not what he wanted, you had gone to Emily's room to discuss something, he didn't know what it was and apparently you didn't care enough to tell him, or you just didn't want him to know.

He held himself from sprinting to bed right after you left the room, surely it wouldn't look so good if you were to come back because you forgot something or for any other reason, he let a couple minutes pass by, anxiously so, before he got up to take the fastest shower he could manage and jumped into bed, he almost decided against clothes before reminding himself that sooner or later you would come back. It took more time than he'd like but finally he was drifting off, quicker than expected.

"Emily..." you whimpered.

"Come on... it's Hotch," she rested a hand on your shoulder, "he's probably just going through something. I heard him tell Rossi last week that Jack was having some troubles in school, it might be that, right?"

"Yeah, but I feel like..." Emily was the only one who knew about your confusing feelings for Hotch and still you hesitated, "I feel like it's something else... he's been avoiding me and rarely looks me in the eye when we talk."

Emily went silent for a few seconds, looking away and seemed to be deciding carefully what to say.

"Listen, you know I love you and support anything you do, but..." oh God "You should talk to him, not me."

"I came to you exactly because I don't want to talk to him, even if I tried I don't think he would answer." You gave her the most pleading puppy eyes you could manage. 

"There's only one way to find out, honey."

After a few more minutes of licking your wounds you gathered yourself enough to face Aaron, walking a little too fast to your shared room just to make sure you wouldn't have time to back down and run back to Emily. Thinking too many things and nothing at all just to distract yourself you ended up opening the door loudly, scaring yourself when the lights were off and you could barely make out the person under the blankets.

Did you really just open a random door? Fuck! 

In your panic state your eyes caught a glimpse of Aaron's bag close to his bed, some files slipped out from it when he drastically dropped it earlier. Without realizing, you slipped into the room and closed the door quieter than you had opened it, unsure if Aaron was indeed asleep or if he was pretending just so he wouldn't have to talk to you, a shower seemed to be the best thing to do.

It was weird, a part of you knew he was tired, and going to sleep without someone else in the room is sometimes a lot easier, but, the bigger part of you kept thinking that he was doing this just to avoid you, to not have to force out a "Good night." when both of you knew it wasn't good for him, and it hurt.

Shower was indeed a good thing, the warm water doing wonders to your aching muscles and the sound of the water running was a good background for your mind to organize your thoughts. That same sound was what Aaron woke up to.

Looking around searching for what had woken him, he saw the light coming from the bathroom, the door didn't close all the way sometimes, you had to close it hard and he supposed you didn't want to make noise. He searched for his phone to check the time, see how long it took you to come back, but in his hustle earlier he had forgotten to pick up his phone, wherever it was he didn't feel like getting up to search for it.

In his sleepy state he had turned to watch the door, not really paying attention to what he was looking out for until he got a glimpse of you wrapping a towel around your body, he hadn't even that noticed the sound of the water had stopped, snapping himself out of whatever this was he turned away from the door, right before he saw the light getting brighter and your quiet barefoot steps getting closer, a zipper being opened, rustle of fabric and the zipper being closed, steps again but this time going away and the room getting darker again.

It didn't take long for you to come back, he could smell the soap you always used, it only took him a couple days sharing a room and a bathroom with you to know that every soap and perfume you used smelled mostly the same.

It almost physically pained him to not be able to smell it directly from your skin, he had hugged you and stood close enough to smell your perfume he knew it wasn't the same as your fresh out of the shower scent. It already smelled so comforting from this far, he was certain he'd go insane if he ever got the chance to hug you like this, out of any police department or hospital smell, just you. 

He was so lost in thought he hadn't realized you had already settled in bed.

"Good night, Hotch..." he heard you whisper, so quietly he almost missed it, it made his heart stutter and beat faster.

Did you know he was awake? Did you see him looking at you through the open door? He didn't see anything but the skin of your arms! Should he answer? No. Stop it, idiot.

You turned again, again and again. The mattress was hard, the blanket kept scratching your bare legs, the pillow made you feel like a stone would be comfier, not to mention the discomfort of having your mind tell you how uncomfortable Aaron must be that he even went to bed earlier just so he wouldn't have to see you. You must be so pathetic to even have wished him a good night when he clearly didn't want you here–

"Are you okay?" There it was, his husky voice, he was sleeping and you disturbed him. 

"Uh–yeah, sorry to wake you up." Wow, that came out so weak, he definitely thinks you're pathetic.

The sound of his body turning and his voice right beside your ear made you shiver. 

"You keep tossing and turning, your breath is faster than normal," he sighed. "So I'll ask again, are you okay?" It's now or never.

"Have you–you've been avoiding me." You could hear Emily's voice saying it wasn't so hard was it?

"No I haven't." That came out way too fast to be true, Hotchner.

"Yes you have, and you can barely even look at me when we're alone, you give me empty words and talk better to a rookie you'll never see again," you were rambling but now there was no way you would stop. "If I did something to upset you, please tell me. Because, I can profile you but I cannot read your mind yet, and I can't apologize if I don't know what I did wrong." 

"I-" God, you were so self deprecating. "I'm sorry I made you feel that way, you did nothing wrong." He spoke in a weirdly soft voice.

"That–that doesn't make me feel better..."

"I'm sorry... it's... not something you did..." Well, if you were talking then he should too, "It's you."

A couple seconds passed, they felt like minutes.

Your heart dropped, "What?" It couldn't be... you knew you weren't perfect but, to know your mind was right yet again felt... nauseous.

"Wait! wait," he was sitting up now, back to the headboard, making a calm down gesture with his hands, he did that once with a child, to make them stop their rambling, you really were pathetic.

"Not you, I meant... Fuck, it's complicated."

Now that you were already broken, you might as well just finish this, end what made you anxious for once, even if it meant losing your hopes of being with him.

Your breath was harder and lost its rhythm. You could be going into a panic attack right now but Aaron was relieved, after hearing the way your voice got so... pained, he thought he ended this, that you would get up and leave him. The memories came back in a rush that made him dizzy, but you were still here, and breathing hard, unlike the breath Haley–

"Then tell me, unless you have something else to do at 2am. I think we have enough time, tell me. Whatever it is, I'm sure it's not as complicated as what we had going on." Your voice was steady, no longer panicked and embarrassed like someone who just got rejected by their crush, that was the voice of a person who took down serial killers for a living, who could damn well talk face to face with him if they were to fight. Now he felt small, he could tower over you if you two were standing up but he knew you were the bigger person.

[truefakegirlfacts]

"C'mon, look at those tits!" said Megan. "Tell me you wouldn't turn back into a boy for the chance to play with those!"

"Oh yeah, absolutely!" replied Zoe.

Sophie stayed silent, still in shock at the direction the conversation had turned. When she had moved to the city, she had been so excited about the chance to meet more trans women. She was a bit surprised when her two new friends didn't care as much as her about being percieved exactly like a cis woman. They didn't hide some of their more male mannerisms and didn't always correct people who misgendered them. But after a few weeks of getting to know them, Sophie learnt to see the wisdom in this. It was stressful always worrying how others percieved you, and in truth she had realised that there were differences between trans women and cis women, and that was ok. Still, discussing which female celebrities and porn stars were hot enought to get you to detransition was, to Sophie, a step too far. How could they expect anyone to see them as women when...

"Soph? You still there?"

"Huh? Sorry, lost in thought. Did you ask me something?" she said, dreading that they might make her name some big-titted straight girl she'd willingly be the boyfriend of.

"C'mon Soph, a girl you'd detrans for? Don't tell me you haven't thought about it. Every tgirl does. It's ok."

Was that right? Was Sophie just being uptight? The truth is, when she saw a hot girl, she did have to suppress thoughts she thought were unfeminine. Were her friends just being open about a side of themselves that she kept hidden? Her knowledge of celebrities was terrible, but she tried picturing herself as the boyfriend of actresses from films she'd seen. She imagined the envy other men would feel for her. She felt a stirring inside her, and another under her skirt. Still, she couldn't remember any of these women's names. Her horny mind soon turned to girls she knew personally. She flitted through friends and colleagues, imagining herself with them as a normal straight couple, and when one caused a particular swelling down below, she couldn't help but cry out her name.

"Emily!". She Covered her mouth, shocked that she couldn't contain her fantasies.

"Emily Howell? From your work?" asked Zoe. "Yeah, I can totally see that! Fuck, her ass..."

"Dude, she's single. You should totally ask her! And she's always going on about how she loves tall guys! I'm pretty sure you have a chance!"

"Yeah, with how much she says that, I'm pretty sure she's dropping hints."

Sophie tried to think of a reason to disagree with her friends, but couldn't. The vision of her as Emily's boyfriend was a life she'd given up on, but a life that still called to her. She could have the kind of relationship she'd been taught to want as a small boy. She felt a desire to try and make this vsion a reality, stronger than the one that had driven her to dransition in the first place.

"Ok! I'll text her!"

"Woo! Go get her dude!"

"You gonna send her a dick pic? That way she'll know you've given up on the girl thing."

"No no, send her a video of you flushing your E down the toilet. Show her you're commited!"

Sophie's head swam with thoughts of what he was about to do, but he felt a hope for the future that he hadn't felt in a long time.

[1tsstargaze59]

Anxifear College AU Fic Chapter 2!!

I have yet to decide on a name for the fic, you're seeing my WIP since I decided to post it on AO3 once it's finished ^^ I usually also give chapters titles but idk yet- we'll have to see if I get any ideas. If not, they'll just be numbered XD

Tw/ Anxious and lonely thoughts, but it's followed with fluff, so you should be fine dw ^^b Chapter 2 under the cut!

As the first month of the semester went by, the trees turned to different hues. Red and yellow brightening up the dull grays of the city. Orange... well orange was like her hair, and green? Green was like her eyes. He saw her in every leaf, every blossom, every sunray shining through his bedroom window early in the morning. The more he tried to get her out of his mind, the more the season reminded him of her. Unavoidable. He was going to see her next Tuesday, after all, they both had to go to work. Fred hoped if he formed a friendship with her, his attraction would diminish; or so he thought.

He arched his back and wiped his face with his hands, forcing the sleepy slouch out of his body. He made breakfast, packed his things, changed into something a little more presentable and left his condo. Living on the top floor of the building had it's perks : privacy, silence, a beautiful view of the city. It's downsides, however, we're non negotiable, notably the height and thus, the time on the elevator. He hated elevators, cramped with nowhere to run to. He shivered at the thought every day. He'd much rather take the stairs. It's not as if anyone else was using them. Plus! It made for a good morning exercise.

Making his way to work is pretty mundane, a repetitive task, driving in the endless sea of cars that formed the heavy traffic. It gave his mind the time to wander, worrying about what ridiculous thing he might say to her next. He's been trying not to flirt with her, but quite frankly it was beyond his control. She's lovely! And he liked her; he couldn't deny it. He was trying to keep things professional more for her sake than his own since she had just been assigned this position. He knew how stressful a time like this could be. In fact, she was obviously very disturbed by the new routine and responsibilities of a lecturer. What she needed was support, not romance. But perhaps? Was he undermining the support a romantic partner could bring to her? Not everyone wants to be in a relationship; he didn't want to assume. He'd have to ask her! But how?

●●●

Many students stay behind to ask him questions after class. He will concede, mathematics aren't for everyone and it's normal to have questions. He's delighted by their curiosity every time, even after 3 years of answering!

"M. Fitzgerald, I don't mean to ask anything too personal," asked Daphne, a design major with a striking taste for the color green, "But why is it that you stay after class even after all the students have left?" Her younger sister, Vivienne, always following in her older sister's footprints, lurked just behind her. The two girls were the last students in the room; the interrogation almost seemed planned to him.

"Oh hm... Well," his hands began to shake, "I stay behind and keep company to Ms. Tyson. As a new teacher, I'd like her to feel welcomed here."

"I see," she paused for a moment to look him up and down, "Well that's very noble of you Frederick. Thank you for answering," Daphne had a knowing smile on her face as she waved goodbye, her sister giggling excitedly, following behind her.

Fred had a sigh of relief. He found himself waiting for Ms. Tyson once more, heart pounding. After about 15 minutes, she was nowhere to be found. Odd, he thought to himself, she's usually so punctual. Perhaps today was the day he... manages to avoid her. His heart doubled in weight and sunk to his stomach. Feeling nauseous, he took a deep breathe and slowly exhaled. He quickly gathered his things into his messenger bag and rushed out the door, trying to move faster then his feelings could catch up.

Rushing down the hall, the faster he walked, the longer the hall became, stretching out for what felt like an eternity. Suddenly, Anna-lee took a turn at the end of corridor, just as he as he arrived. It all happened so quickly : she ran up and took the turn. Right then, he saw her and turned the other way to try to avoid her, but it was too late. They crashed into each other, sending all of Anna's course notes flying into the air.

"My notes!" She yelled after she had triped over his foot and reached out to try to catch them as she fell. Oddly, she didn't feel herself hit the floor. Her eyebrows frowned, she looked down, then turned to look at Fred, "Thanks for catching me," she smiled.

His face lit up and he quickly let go of her waist, fidgeting with his hair and clothes, "You- you're welcome!" He cleared his throat while readjusting his glasses.

"I'm so sorry for crashing into you like that, I was running late-" her voice trailed off, guilty.

"You don't need to apologize, it was an accident. I'm surprised you're late though. What happened?" He asked, helping her collect her things.

"I slept through my alarm- I was exhausted! Last night, I bearily got any sleep and- I don't know why I'm telling you this, you aren't interested in hearing it."

"Well, I asked you didn't I?" He recalled, reaching out for another note, their hands met and their eyes crossed paths. For a moment, he held his breathe and swallowed.

Then, they both giggled nervously and she quickly took the sheet for herself, "I really don't want to bother you, thank you for all your kindness, but I can carry all this on my own," she gestured towards the things he had in his arms, a frown spreading across her face.

"You aren't a burden, but you do have one! Let me help you, I insist," he began to walk towards the classroom again, "It fascinates me how you can carry all this with two hands. By my estimate, this should be near impossible, and I'm a math teacher!"

She laughed, "I've perfected the technique over the years; I don't like writing notes on the computer, so I keep most of them on paper. I usually collect them into folders, but when I'm using them, I'd rather have them loose like this. If you spread them out on a table, they create a timeline!"

"Wow, really?"

"Yes! It's a lot of hard work, but it helps a lot- well- maybe not with organization, but definitely for memory!" She explained nervously, "Sorry to keep you waiting- were you waiting for me?"

"Of course! What kind of friend would I be if I didn't even wait a little bit?" He responded, placing her things onto the desk.

A smiled curled onto her face, "There's still a little time left before my class, are you planning on staying til then, as usual?"

"As usual," he bowed his head politely.

"Well then, I'd say you're a pretty great friend!"

��●●

She pushed herself up brutally, sitting still on her bed for a second. Her heartbeat was racing, the sound ringing in her ears. Her arms loosing strength and shaking. Her room felt entirely too small; the air was suffocating. Another nightmare. A frown slowly, painfully appeared on her face. She could deal with the stress later; it was time to get reay for work. Her nightmare woke her before her alarm could. She took a deep breathe before getting up and shutting it off.

Anna zoomed around her apartment, multitasking a routine she had memorized. Every breakfast was the same : peanut butter jelly sandwich with a cup of coffee; although the spread was interchangeable if she felt bored of PB&J. Milk was also optional. For her clothes, she had made herself a uniform composed of 5 different tops and 5 different pants, all to mix and match. All early morning decision stresses avoided, she finally washes up, packs her things and heads out the door. Her small underground apartment wasn't much, but it was humble for sure, decorated with items from her past as a highschool teacher.

Today was Tuesday and she was expecting to see Fred again. Fred has always been kind to her and she's very thankful for him. She's so new, most of her relationships are very professionally cordial, especially outside of her department, but not with him. He's funny, silly and kind; she enjoys his company, hearing about his interests and sharing her own. In fact, they both teach an underrated class : History and Mathematics are the base of many other disciplines. He can understand her struggles. Hopefully, enough so that he doesn't get tired of her presence...

No one wants to spend too much time inside her mind, not even herself. A thousand worries bounced off the walls in her head, giving her a headache. She shouldn't have drunk so many energy drinks last night. Not a very healthy idea; perhaps that may have caused her nightmare? She frowned to herself. Sitting in public transportation is the loneliest thing you can do with others. She wonders when the strange feeling in her throat would choose to leave.

●●●

Finally came time for her class! As per usual, Anna-Lee was ahead of time exactly 30 minutes to meet up with- oh. When she opened the classroom door, she was met with silence. The room was empty. Well, almost empty. On the edge of the desk rested a gentle bouquet of purple flowers. Anna slowly walked up to it; her back arched forward and her lips pressed tightly. A small note left beside the bouquet read as follows :

"Hey Anna! If you're reading this, you're probably confused. Well, the simple answer is that I'm sick. Nothing bad I promise; I'll be back next week! I just felt bad for leaving you in the dust, so I had a coworker leave you this present from me! Maybe next time I could contact you directly if you give me your number; you know, save us some time! -My warmest regards, Fred."

Up close, the bouquet was huge! She lifted the flowers up to her nose : they were lavender. She took a slow, deep breath and exhaled calmly. She giggled to herself; aren't you supposed to send flowers to the person who's ill? Not the other way around?? What a guy! Even without being here, he still manages to make today more bearable. Lavender is supposed to keep you calm and help you rest as well; he really thinks of everything. As much as she enjoyed the gift... where was she supposed to keep the flowers?

Chapters: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6

[lucy90712]

Puppy- Pedri

Life has been a lot recently I moved away from my hometown and my parents to move in with my boyfriend after being long distance for nearly two years. Getting to live with him has been amazing I love Pedri so much and now we don't have to miss each other in between being able to visit one another. Moving from Tenerife to Barcelona has also meant I needed to find a new job which luckily didn't take long so I've just started at a new company and moved which is a lot all at once but so far it's been mostly good.

I do feel like I'm kind of just getting through each day I wake up and then I'm at work and then I come back home again. My life doesn't feel like my life anymore I had a whole routine back home but now everything is different and I don't have the little things in my routine that helped each day feel less mundane. The best part of my day is when Pedri gets home and we can cuddle on the sofa and watch a movie which has become a daily routine. Don't get me wrong I love my new life as I get to be with Pedri but it's a lot of change all at once and I feel like it's finally catching up to me and I'm starting to miss home a little. 

It's going to take some time to get used to being here but I'm sure eventually Barcelona will start to feel like home and I'll forget all about this time where I felt out of place. I know this is where I'm supposed to be as otherwise Pedri would've never come into my life and he's definitely the best thing that's ever happened to me. When we get used to living together and I get used to the city I'm sure it will all be perfect right now we are just going through an adjustment period. 

Pedri's POV

Like most days when Y/n got home she seemed stressed until she saw me then she put a fake smile on her face. I can tell she's faking it because the smile didn't reach her eyes like it always does when she's actually smiling. I know the move has been a lot on her we both knew the first few weeks would be hard but I can tell she's still struggling and that just breaks my heart. It's not that she doesn't want to be here as when we go places together she really enjoys herself but whenever I have to leave her or she goes to work the next time I see her she looks stressed and just generally unhappy. 

I should've known that moving so far from home and getting a new job all at the same time would be hard for her but I underestimated how big of a change that would be for her. I remember when I first moved here I didn't know anyone and it was my first time living alone it was scary and I missed home a lot and that must be how y/n feels as I know she is really close to her family so not being close to them distance wise anymore is difficult. I want to do something to make her feel more at home here but I have no idea what the right thing to do is as I can't just magically help her settle in. 

This has been on my mind for a few days and I can't decide the right thing to do so I've decided that I'm going to ask some of the other guys if they have any ideas. I've told Ferran about my dilemma but he was no use and the same goes for Gavi neither of them gave me any serious ideas they just joked around like they always do. Asking them made it clear that I need to talk to one of the older guys who might actually offer some sensible advice. 

"Hey Raphinha can I get your advice on something?" I asked 

"Of course man what's up" he said 

"You know y/n moved in with me a few months ago well I just feel like she hasn't fully settled in and I don't know what to do she just seems stressed and unhappy" I said 

"That's hard she must just miss home I know this isn't the answer your looking for but time is the best thing for that and just talk to her asking her how she feels will help you understand what you can do to take some of the stress away" he advised 

"Thanks man I'll definitely talk to her" I said 

"Wait Pedri did you say y/'s missing home" one of coaches said from across the hallway 

"Yeah she just seems to be lonely I guess she's only got me and anyone I've introduced her to so when we aren't around that's when she seems to be the worst" I said 

"This might not be the solution you're looking for but my brother found a puppy dumped in a bin last night maybe having something in the house would help y/n feel less lonely if you want to meet the puppy I'll give you my brothers number" he said 

"Actually that sounds like a great idea" I said 

Getting a puppy was definitely not something I'd planned on doing for a while as I'm not around as much as I would need to be to look after a dog and I didn't want to put that all on y/n as she's getting used to life here but maybe it would be good for her. Having a little puppy around the house to keep her company while I'm not around sounds like a great idea to me and she can meet new people taking the dog for a walk. 

~~~~~~~~~~

After seeing the puppy my mind was made up he was so sweet and he reminded me a lot of the family dog y/n has back home which seemed like a sign that this was the decision I needed to make. It took a few days to get everything sorted but finally today I picked up the puppy and brought him home to explore a bit before y/n got home from work. So far he's done just that he hasn't stopped running around and playing with the few toys I got him as well as my shoes but we will work on stopping that another day. 

Your POV

Today has been a long day we had a big presentation at work today and I had a few important meetings and now I'm just exhausted. When I pulled into the driveway Pedri's car was already there and that made me feel a little better as seeing him and cuddling with him sounds like it will make all my problems go away at least for tonight. As I entered the door I saw a little plastic ball on the floor which had me confused as I don't know why Pedri would have one of those or why it would just be on the floor. Then it all made sense when a tiny ball of black fluff ran towards me grabbed the ball and ran away again towards Pedri who picked up the puppy and brought it towards me. 

As soon as he placed the puppy in my arms I was in love it looked exactly like my parents dog back home which they got when I was little and we grew up together. Holding the puppy made me feel like I had a bit of home with me and it reminded me of my childhood and all of the photos I have with my parents dog. 

"Whose dog is this?" I asked Pedri 

"He's ours" he said 

"I have so many questions" I said 

"Well one of our coaches at the club overheard me talking to Raphinha about how I think you've been missing home and feeling lonely here and said that his brother found a puppy dumped in a bin so I went and met the puppy and instantly knew he'd be a perfect fit for us and I know we both have busy lives but I thought he'd keep you company while I'm away" Pedri explained 

"Who would dump this little cutie" I cooed to the puppy

"I do have one last question does he have a name yet?" He asked 

"I haven't properly named him yet as I didn't want to do it without you but I was thinking we could call him Nilo" he said 

"I like that welcome to our crazy household Nilo" I said 

Pedri took my bag off me while I took Nilo to the living room so I could sit and play with him to destress from my day. It didn't take long for Pedri to join us and we both threw the little ball across the room and watched little Nilo scamper after it. A puppy would've been the last thing I thought I wanted if you'd have asked me even just yesterday but I actually think Pedri is right Nilo is going to be great at keeping me company when no one else is here and having such a happy little thing here to greet me when I get home is definitely going to brighten my days. It feels like I've got a little bit of my life from back home here now that we have a dog and hopefully that will help make Barcelona feel like home. 

For the rest of the night we didn't take our attention off Nilo but eventually we had to go to bed now we had agreed that Nilo wouldn't sleep in the bed with us but that went out the window within two seconds. As soon as we saw him sitting on the floor in his bed whimpering and wanting our attention Pedri got up and put him on our bed which stopped his crying instantly. Nilo was quick to make himself comfy in my arms as Pedri put his arms around me and we settled down for the night as some sort of weird family.

"Thank you for getting Nilo just having him here has made me feel more at home" I said 

"There's no need to thank me I just want you to be comfortable here and honestly as soon as I saw him there was no way I was leaving without him he was just too cute" Pedri laughed 

"He certainly is cute you have competition now" I joked 

"I don't think I'm going to win that competition" he said 

"No you won't but I still love you" I said 

"More than Nilo?" He asked 

"Of course for now at least" I joked 

Pedri rolled his eyes but I know he feels the exact same way I do. 

[justagalwhowrites]

Some insight

Hi Besties!

I hope everyone is having a wonderful week and that life is treating you well! I'm going to stash the rest below the cut because it's just some of me kind of blathering about my life for a bit and how that might impact posting and I feel like it's just awkward and long and I don't want to make anyone feel like they need to read it? I dunno. I love you though!

Hi again! I wanted to let folks know that, because of some big changes in my work life, I might be posting less for a bit.

I'm trying to get my life into balance but it's hard. They've started a new cadence of in person work at my office and I have a long commute (which I didn't really factor in when I got this job 3+ years ago because they said we'd likely only ever be in one day a week at most in the future and now I need to be in the city an hour away at 8:30 a.m. three days a week.) I really should not complain, I know there are plenty of people who work harder jobs for less money that are always in person BUT it's already been a huge hit to my quality of life. Just trying to get through laundry this week is stressing me out. Normally, I do it in the middle of my work day because I can move the wash around between meetings and then put it all away at the end of the day or the next day during lunch. I've now been doing laundry since Monday. I hate it. I'm tired all the time, I'm emotionally exhausted because - while I am a corporate girlie - I work in comms and PR, so there's definitely a certain expectation for attitude and how I present myself. I get home from work and I'm just burnt out and I feel like I have no time. On top of that, I'm getting less quality time with my husband (we used to have lunch together most days during the week since he's fully remote) and my office is very "modern" AKA no privacy, so I don't really feel comfortable writing there, taking away the break time I used to use to put some words down.

I'm hoping that I'll find a groove (or another job that lets me be fully remote) sooner rather than later and I can settle into what life looks like for me now and I'll stop being so drained and just frustrated at the end of the day.

Ultimately, I'm HOPING I can find a posting schedule that works for my two ongoing fics where I publish a chapter of each every week and maybe a drabble or one shot here and there, too? But it may need to be only one chapter a week going up or who knows.

I'm not sure yet. I'm just tired. And I have to get up and do this again in the morning and I'm genuinely dreading it.

But I am working on a few things. I'm hoping I can get something up on Friday and something else this weekend.

I'm sorry for not being more consistent, especially lately but also just in general not keeping pace with where I was at like a year ago when I was writing Lavender and Beskar Doll. I appreciate you still being here.

Love you ❤️ very very much!

[neppednep]

Hey! If you're busy feel free to ignore this, but could I please get some romantic headcanons for Red Hood? No hard feelings if you don't want to, since she's not on the masterlist or anything, or if you just don't want to do it. But if you do end up doing it then thanks a lot for taking the time out of your life, as well as keeping this blog running.

I wish you a good day, as well as luck in any future endeavors!

Red Hood Romantic HCs

I wanted to make a part for Dorothy too, but I've been busy as hell, so that'll probably come after I get through a couple other asks.

Also, if a charcter isn't in the Nikke masterlist, feel free to still request. I have to remake it one of these days because of the photo limit. Anyways, sorry for being late and hope you enjoy.

》 Being in a relationship with Red Hood can be a mixed bag. On one hand, you two really do love each other, even through the whole alien invasion, pretty much the end of humanity thing. On the other hand, you two don't get as much time together as you used to and even that is an understatement. Between her new duties as a Nikke and worrying whether or not she'll make it back home after her missions, it can get stressful.

》 You would be lying if you said it was easy when she first became a Nikke though. The two of you weren't exactly well off, living in a relatively small village away from most of the fighting. You didn't really think much of it, not realizing just how bad it was until raptures practically appeared out of nowhere, killing everyone in sight. While you were evacuated… you couldn't find her. The only proof of her existence being the cassette player she gifted a friend of yours.

Your breath freezes in your throat as you stare at the red haired woman, proudly walking down the street with a gun damn near twice her size tossed over her shoulder. You don't even know what to feel.

》 Imagine your surprise, spending months thinking she was dead until you saw her and a few others, still alive, receiving a hero's welcome at the city you were staying at.

Relief?

Confusion?

Happiness?

You couldn't even move, practically stuck in place as you stare at the spitting image of your supposedly dead girlfriend.

She scans the crowd, her eyes eventually land on you, having to double take before stopping dead in her tracks. You have no time to react before you see a huge smile on her face. Her weapon falls to the ground with a loud crash and the next thing you know your feet leave the ground as you're taken into a bone crushing huh.

No words really needed to be spoken between the two of you, everyone else in the crowd forgotten. You just bury your head into her large chest, letting reality sink in.

She's still alive and back with you, so you won't complain.

》 It really doesn't seem like much has even changed, besides that hug she goes right back to how everything was before. Immediately dragging you off with strength you didn't think possible. She wasn't a small woman by any means but it just wasn't human. After she introduced you to her squad and catching up, you found out she wasn't. It was a lot to take in. She did die… kind of? Then got turned into some powerful android who fights aliens for the sake of humanity.

》 Irrelevant. By the end of the day you two were in your house, listening to the cassette player she never seemed to get tired of.

》 She did seem a bit different though, only through very small things anyone else wouldn't really notice. Red Hood was definitely more clingy than she used to be, not to mention she was practically treating you like you were made of glass most of the time. It wasn't a bad thing though, just relaxing in her arms, getting the pillow treatment.

》 It did kind of suck when she had to go out on missions. She was on the best and one of the only squads around, but you still worried whether she'd make it back home or not.

》 Dates are certainly fun. Taking you to a shooting range, though not letting you shoot her gun of course, as you'd probably do more damage to yourself than the target. She's quite fond of showing off in simulations, or just going to see a movie or concert, though needless to say those are exceptionally rare these days.

》 Speaking of shooting ranges, out of everyone in her squad, Snow White is someone Red Hood loves to bring around. She's a nice girl, if a bit childish but she definitely looks up to Red Hood, and you to a certain extent. If you like guns or shooting, she'll be coming over a lot to run ideas through you or just hang out, almost seeing you as an older sibling.

》 Definitely protective of you. Not that many people would really try to hurt you. Your girlfriend is part of the Goddess Squad and an android that can tear through even the strongest Raptures with ease. Even then, she won't resort to violence too quickly, usually just using her words to drive them off. If that doesn't work… a flick probably won't kill them.

》 Red Hood is more romantic then her relatively rough and playful exterior lets on. You can't really blame her, you two didn't have the best life growing up, after all. Some nights it'll just be you two staring into the setting sun in a comfortable silence. She does still have a girly side buried deep somewhere in here, though it rarely comes out. She claims doing stuff like that just reminds her of what she’s fighting for, but with the way she stares at you, you know it's deeper than that.

》 It was quite the surprise when one day, out of nowhere, Red Hood approached you saying she was going on her last mission. You were a bit confused, but she brushed it off saying she's been fighting for long enough and wants to spend the rest of her life with you.

》 Was… that some kind of proposal?

》 If it was, you didn't have time to blink, let alone even ask before her face flushed red as she gave her usual smile and speeding off. You just chuckled and shook your head. She was always a free spirit, and you know she'll be back. She always comes back.

[lovesodeepandwideandwell]

ok this is a deeply deeply weird manifesto and i'm sorry but i feel suddenly very burdened to say it so. if you felt like we were friends and i unfollowed you, this is for you. (don't be scared this is not about problems with anyone this is just my mess. that I think is ok to have which is why I'm talking about it)

so I joined tumblr in 2020 when a) the world was isolated b) I had just moved to a new city and was living alone taking Zoom classes in my apartment. what started as a mindless distraction became such a lifeline of connection and friendship! and still such a support as things started to open back up and get busier in 2021, when I was teaching and in class in person but still struggling for close in-person friendships. I know the group dynamic on here has shifted a number of times, as some of you probably experienced from various vantage points. my use of tumblr has shifted too, on and off, as I've needed different things out of it and been in different spiritual and emotional states. and I've kind of come to realize that I probably threw myself in too eagerly in some ways. it was so exciting to have actual friends on here and for them to actually turn into friends in person, that honestly I maybe prized that dynamic too much for what it symbolized over actually valuing the people. I'm sorry for doing that.

anyway, that worked fine for a bit, but as (glory be to God) I've become much more plugged into my in-person community in the last couple years, I've felt more and more emotionally strained. I've taken up a new attitude towards my family that's much more in line with God, but also much more draining as it means I have to just pour out in prayer and love and wait with patient sorrow over some things rather than fighting and defending my perspective as always right and necessary; and then there's the church-related grief my family has gone through over the last year. I've had a very delicate and difficult friendship that pulled up a lot of unresolved stuff from a college situation and felt endlessly wearying at times. I've had another issue from college recur in a way I thought had been healthily resolved years ago. I've had this whole roommate marriage situation that as y'all know is a very weird trial and pressure. My church has been dealing with a strange and tough ongoing struggle that was already stressing me out before I started working there. My small group has been amazing and I've loved connecting with and relying on them more, but that connection also means more fully bearing the griefs of a lot of different people dealing with the different struggles of life. My advisor situation has been so weird and tough, making my academic work really hard, and then this recent church work has been fulfilling but physically and often mentally exhausting. My future location, work, and community is up in the air after a few years of stability. (I really didn't mean to make this a recitation of my woes, but honestly it's really helpful to see it all written out here; helps explain my deep deep exhaustion, I guess.)

If I ever followed you on tumblr, I love you. In a number of different ways. I feel fondness at the thought of you and at your presence; I want to know you more fully; I desire the good for you; and I find my well-being to be, at least a little bit, tied up with yours. That last one is the rub. As I'm sorting through all the callings and duties in my life, trying to identify what counts as changing my tires versus what wears my tires out, I've found that my tumblr dashboard can switch back and forth very unpredictably between one thing and the other. Often it's a delight to come on here and find my friends and the cool things we're showing each other and the joys and sorrows and goofy moments of our lives! But at other times, when what I desperately need is an escape and rest and humor to provide solace from in-person cares, I find myself pricked all over again by the sorrow of the world and the stress of sin--or even just irritated by stuff I find irrelevant or disagree with or don't want to be reminded of.

To be clear, I'm not saying anyone's doing anything wrong on here. The opposite; I love the freedom y'all have to seek out what helps you, whether that's a lot of facts and ideas or a lot of goofy content or recipes or weird TV or music or venting about life or seeking prayer or advice! We all have the freedom and responsibility to determine how to use the tools we have to aid us in pursuing the good, whether the good is a quick laugh or building up virtue. But I think for me, at this point in my life, my duty and calling has swung back towards my in-person connections in a variety of ways, and I have to honor that.

The lie of infinity that the internet offers is just that--a lie. for me, that lie right now is being laid bare in my inability to have infinite care for everyone whose path I cross. I could follow everyone on here whom I'm endeared to, could keep messaging and replying and building relationships, but it would be a lie to think I can offer that love and care to everyone I would like to. In-person friendships are limited by physical proximity and time; online friendships can't be unlimited either. I need to apologize for acting as though they could be, and committing myself beyond my limits; but also, my life has really changed, and I'm not going to be caught either by the lie that online is only worthwhile if it's permanent.

I want to be clear that I value the connections I've had with you. I've loved exchanging mail and phone calls, messaging fun things back and forth, being online at the same time or learning about your day after the fact. Please know, also, that I have gone to war in prayer for you, and I continue to do so. I wish that I knew how to love widely without feeling pulled apart and worn down, by difference and sorrow and sin (mine and yours). I hope God is sanctifying me toward that end. But right now I'm fairly convinced I need to honor my calling to in-person friendships; I need to protect my mind and heart from even little pricks and distractions, so that I can keep my desires in order and use my energy for prayer and Scripture and to do good work and love the people God's made my physical neighbors. I really do love you, and I wish we had infinite time to talk and think together. I'm so excited to be with y'all in heaven forever. And who knows--maybe my life will shift yet again (it's looking likely) and I'll have a ton of spare energy and love and will come sheepishly back looking to connect with you again. We'll see. You deserve love and attention and connection, in person and online, and I'm sorry that--at least as it feels to me--I held out the promise of giving you that and then had to withdraw it.

so. there's all that. My dash is super quiet these days, thwarting my dopamine search but pushing me towards texting friends, towards meditating more fully on Scripture, towards praying over my work and burdens. I hope you can understand and maybe even be glad that, God willing, this is how I'm able and needing to work for the kingdom right now. love you love you

[noellawrites]

Baby Bear - Richie Jerimovich x Berzatto!reader

summary: as the youngest Berzatto sibling, you know you’re screwed when you find out you’re pregnant with Richie’s baby.

warnings: pregnancy, grooming mention & abortion mention.

Nothing, nothing could’ve prepared you for two pink lines on that goddamn test. Your hand trembled lightly as you placed the piece of plastic on the dirty bathroom counter.

Your stomach dropped. How the hell were you supposed to tell Richie? And what would you say to your siblings? You were screwed.

You showed up early for your shift at The Beef in order to take the test, which you’d nervously purchased earlier from the local bodega. You thought it was just a few missed periods due to stress, the restaurant, stuff with Mikey. You never actually thought you could be pregnant.

Carmy and Sugar would kill Richie. And all three of them would kill you. Mikey would probably crawl out of his grave next, just so he could beat Richie up for knocking up his kid sister.

As the youngest Berzatto, you’d worked in The Beef from the ripe age of twelve. You washed dishes and waited tables for Mikey, your favorite sibling and oldest brother. Now, in your early 20’s, you worked as The Beef’s primary bookkeeper and waitress.

There had always been something between you and Richie, and your friendship became more after you turned eighteen. You were attracted to him, but waited to make your move until you were old enough to consciously do so. You ate every meal together, treated his daughter like your own, laughed at his dumb jokes and never got bored of each other. Plus the sex was gentle, loving and passionate.

But more than that, you were each other’s shoulder to lean on. You cried in each other’s arms once you’d gotten the news about Mikey and you ran The Beef together until Carmy got back from New York.

You and Richie had managed to keep your relationship a secret for the four years since you’d started seeing each other, but you had a feeling that you wouldn’t be able to keep it a secret for much longer.

Because now, you were pregnant with Richie Jerimovich’s baby.

—

“Congratulations Miss Berzatto, you’re about eight weeks along. Here are the printed pictures for you to take home. Would you like to discuss your options?” the nurse chirped. She was young, not much older than you, with a short blonde bob and bright purple scrubs.

“How much does an abortion cost?” you asked, already knowing what Richie would tell you. He was already a deadbeat father to one kid, why make it two?

“It depends on your insurance, but—"

"I don't have insurance, I'm just a waitress," you interrupted.

"In that case, it'll be around five-hundred dollars for the abortion pill if you visit Planned Parenthood. They're the cheapest in the city. You can only take the pill up to ten weeks, though," she explained, handing over a bunch of pamphlets with the sonogram pictures on top.

You stared down at the pictures as tears formed in your eyes. That was inside you, right now, a little tiny baby made from you and Richie. You could hardly believe it.

—

"You're— what the fuck? I didn't even know you were seeing anyone (y/n), jesus christ! How could you be so irresponsible?" Carmy yelled.

You were sitting in the office, leaned back in the chair as you stared at your brother. You knew he wasn't going to take the news well, but he was in disbelief. He ran his hand through his hair while contemplating his next words.

"You keepin' it?"

"I don't know yet, I still have to talk to—"

"Who's the dad?" Carmy seethed.

You couldn't do it. You just couldn't tell your brother that you'd been fucking Richie. He'd kill him before you'd get the chance to tell him.

"I can't—“

"Yes you can, just—just tell me, okay? I'm your brother, we'll figure this out, it'll be fine," he promised, crouching down and meeting your eyes.

"It's Richie," you gulped.

Carmy's face twisted into an expression of pure rage. He stood up, unable to look you in the eye.

"Carmy wait—" you gasped, but he had already thrown the office door open.

"Where is that asshole? Where the fuck is Richie?" Carmy yelled, storming through the kitchen.

"Carmy wait, stop!" you begged, pulling on your brother's sleeve. It was no use, he was on a mission.

Sydney and Tina looked up with confusion as Carmy turned the corner with you right behind him.

"And I told him, 'that's what we're doing today!' But he didn't fuckin' listen, so we're stuck on the turnpike when— hey, 'cuz," Richie laughed, noticing Carmy while in the middle of telling Ebra a story.

He glanced at you quickly, noticing your wide eyes and nervous expression.

"What the fuck, Richie?!" Carmy screamed, lunging at your not-so-secret boyfriend.

"Carmy!" you yelled as the two of them fell to the ground and tussled.

"You knocked up my little sister, fuckin' asshole pervert!"

"What the fuck? I didn't knock (y/n) up!" Richie said, landing a slap across your brother's cheek.

"How long'd you spend groomin' her, huh? She could be your fucking daughter!" Carmy growled as he grabbed at Richie's neck.

Marcus and Sydney rushed over, attempting to pull them apart.

"Quit it, you two!" Sydney yelled, restraining Carmy.

In the midst of the chaos, you noticed Fak sliding a five-dollar bill into Ebra's palm. You rolled your eyes. They'd been betting on you and Richie? Figures.

"I, um, I have some news," you began. The room was silent and all eyes were turned to you.

"I'm pregnant, and it's Richie's. Richie, I'm sorry, I really didn't mean for you to find out this way. And Carmy, I know how this looks but I really, really love Richie. And everyone else, I'm really sorry for this disruption," you explained with a sympathetic expression.

You glanced hesitantly at Richie, who had his hand clamped over his mouth and eyes wide open. Everyone else returned to their stations quietly, and Carmy kicked the metal table leg before returning to the office.

"Congrats, mija!" Tina smiled, patting your shoulder.

"Thanks, T," you said, giving her a small smile.

"So?" Richie asked. He walked closer and pulled you into a hug.

"It's true, you knocked me up," you laughed.

"You wanna keep it?"

You pulled away. "That depends. You wanna step up and be a father?"

"I do, babe. I think we can do this, for real. I'll talk to Tiff, maybe we can have Eva over more. She'd love a little sister or brother," Richie said, giving you a reassuring smile.

"I'd really like that, Richie."

[luvvyouforever]

Hello!! I saw that your requests were open. Could you possibly do another Modern AU! Rhysand x College Student! reader fic? I loved the first one you posted and definitely gave me some comfort with how stressful college is 😭

I always liked imagining the ACOTAR universe in a modern au. Especially Velaris in a modern setting.

Hope you are doing well and taking care of yourself💜💜

hi! absolutely dear <3 i tried to include more velaris in this!

comfort on the bridge - modern au!rhysand x college student!reader

↳ a night out in velaris ought to clear your worries about upcoming exams. does it actually, though?

↳ modern portrayal of velaris, mentions of self doubt and stress, reader is studying to be a teacher but it could be replaced with any major/focus. this isn't my best work, i'll admit, and it did take me like two weeks to completely finish but here you go!

↳ divider art from @firefly-graphics

usually, there was nothing better than a night out on the town in velaris, surrounded by the inner circle and your loving partner, rhysand. very little made you more excited than getting dressed up with mor, pregaming with cassian, and flooding the dance floor of rita's. tonight, however, it was the last thing you wanted to do.

rhysand could sense your hesitance about going out, feeling the bond between you two grow shaky and antsy but there was no way you could bring yourself to say no to them. you were just more stressed out than you imagined possible and so much more was in your mind than getting drunk and dancing to fae pop music.

mortal college was more than you had anticipated. it was always your goal, far before your ears grew pointy and you became a part of the night court's defenders, to go to college and make something of yourself. rhysand encouraged you wholeheartedly, telling you over and over that it was a good idea, that velaris needed more teachers, that you could accomplish it.

and now, your college career was coming to a close which only meant certifications, exams, and papers that all required more of you than you could give. you could only remind yourself of the shining new generation of fae being born in velaris that needed teaching so many times.

all of those worries and deadlines could not be suppressed by the strong liquor going down your throat, leaving a harsh burn in its wake. nevertheless, you took every shot cassian offered and with everyone one of them, rhysand grew more worried.

"you're putting 'em down tonight, y/n!" cassian cheered as the clink of the shot glass hitting the bar rang through the room. "you want another one?"

"yeah, i'd lo-"

"darling, i really don't think you should have another drink. you'll feel terrible later," rhysand's deep voice sent shivers down your spine as his large chest came up behind you. instinctively, you leaned back into his warmth.

"no! we gotta have fun tonight! i can't let anyone down!" you rebutted. your hand reached for the drink on the bar but your hand was trapped by rhysand's before you could. "hey!"

without a response or argument, rhysand began to tug and you didn't put up much of a fight (you were positive that one wrong move and your lack of coordination would land you on your butt on the floor). cassian looked at the two of you, making brief eye contact with rhysand and he nodded in understanding. something was wrong.

"where are we going?" you asked your partner after you stepped into the fresh air of velaris. despite it being so late, the city was quite alive with people, bikes, lights, music, and sounds. it was a beautiful sight, one that usually caught your breath, but there were more pressing matters. like why did rhysand take you away from your fun? the worries were just now being forgotten!

rhysand didn't answer your pestering but instead led you down some streets, up one incline, and landed at an old steel bridge that was at a high enough point to overlook the streets below. it was a spot you frequented when stressed but you didn't know that anyone knew. of course rhysand knew.

without having to say anything, you both perched on the edge of the bridge, wrapping your legs around the posts. your arms brushed against each other and with a few deep breaths, you felt the alcohol begin to leave your system as quickly as it came in.

"what's going on? you're drinking a lot, you seem stressed. i feel it. i don't even have to look in your mind to tell," rhysand said softly. his violet eyes shined in the night and though his gaze was strong, you couldn't help but fall into it.

you sighed and leaned your forehead against the cool metal of the bridge. the sounds of your city flooded your ears and it washed you with some calm that you were searching for. "i'm just stressed. there's so much on my plate, so much coming up, and i don't feel smart enough or good enough for any of it." just speaking the words out loud felt like a weight being taken off of your body. surgically removed and thrown hundreds of miles away.

"tell me about it," your partner said. he wouldn't get it, necessarily, but sharing the weight would help.

"there's three certification tests i have to take, all of which are unnecessarily hard. and that's just so i can get my license to teach. i still have four exams, all worth well over a hundred points, and i feel grossly underprepared for each and everyone one of them. then there's this theory class that's all about best practices in education and research and i feel like i'm picking up none of it," you expressed. "i don't feel like i am going to be the best i can be for velaris. i want to teach them but i'm struggling to pass my class. how am i supposed to impart all of this amazing knowledge on them when i don't even know it?"

your head fell forward onto the bar again and you relished in the soothing feeling of it. down below, music and laughter erupted from a rooftop bar. you wished you could know what rhysand was thinking.

"you know...i think you're the most intelligent person i ever met-"

"that's not-"

"ah! ah! no arguing," rhysand cut you off. "as i was saying...you are the most intelligent person i ever met. the capabilities you have far exceed anyone in the spring court and hewn city combined. the passion you have for our city and its education is so admirable, y/n. everyone will be so lucky to have you as their teacher. the fact that you committed to going to mortal college just to provide the small number of velaris children with a proper education proves to me that the cauldron picked the most perfect person to be my mate."

looking at onto your city, rhysand's words sunk in. somewhere in a back yard, high fae children laughed cheerfully, clearly excited to be up later than what would usually be allowed. it was hard work but work that you were more than excited to be doing.

with a sigh, you leaned into rhysand's side, grateful for him being your rock. "will you help me study for the praxis?" you asked quietly.

rhysand's head dipped down and planted a soft kiss on your forehead. "me and all of velaris will help you through whatever you need, darling. and we will be there at your graduation, glamoured and cheering."

[themultifandomgal]

From 2010- Modest Management Suck

2012

Part 20

“We’re about to go out and do some signing” Harry says to the camera

“We’re at Natick Mall in Boston. It’s gonna be really fun, we’ve heard there’s loads and loads of people and we’re very very excited” Niall says as I laugh at Louis pretending to walk down stairs behind us

“Let’s go!” Liam and Harry shout at the same time. We stand behind a door waiting for it to open

“Anyone else feeling nervous?” I ask feeling a slight tingling in my toes and fingers. I can also feel my heart racing

“It’s excitement, you’ll be fine” I hear Richard say. Nodding my head I watch the doors open and I put a smile on my face. I walk behind Harry and in front of Niall just trying to focus on my breathing as we walk through the Mall where so many people are screaming. We all sit down shocked that this many people have come out to see us. The security then let the fans in small groups come over to us. We sigh the books that we had released late last year.

Throughout the whole time I try to keep smiling and my heart racing at bay, but I can always count on my boys for noticing when somethings off. So when we have a little break for something to eat I sit down on the sofa breathing in deeply

“What’s up?” Louis asks frowning as he sits next to me

“I don’t know, my chest hurts” I almost sob “I- I can’t stop shaking, but I’m not cold I’m really warm”

“Paul I don’t think YN should go back out there” Liam says

“No, but Simon…”

“Fuck Simon and what he says” Niall says sitting on my other side

“She’s going out there even if I have to drag her out there” Richard crosses his arms

“Look at her, she can barley breathe” Paul defends

“I think this is makin’ her worse” Harry kneels down and takes a shaking hand in his and gives it a squeeze of reassurance

“She’s going out there and that’s final” with that Richard leaves the room

“Hey jus’ look at me and breath with me” I try to match Harry’s breathing to calm myself down.

Another day another performance. This time is for the Today Show. We arrive on a bus which stops at the Rockefeller Plaza. We all jump off and run to the stage as music is already playing

“New York City make some noise!” Harry yells into his microphone. Immediately WMYB starts playing

“You're insecure, don't know what for. You're turnin' heads when you walk through the door. Don't need makeup to cover up. Bein' the way that you are is enough” Liam starts singing. Harry then turns to look at me and gives me a little encouraging smile since I’ve been feeling so worried and stressed recently

“Everyone else in the room can see it. Everyone else but you”

We all sing the chorus, then it’s Zayn’s turn then mine

“I don't know why you're being shy and turn away when I look into your eyes”…

“One Directions first album has hit number 1 in 6 countries and they could make it 7 this week when Up All Night is released here in the United States. One Direction is Zayn Malik, Niall Horan, Harry Styles, Liam Payne, Louis Tomlinson and YN YLN. Good morning guys”

“Morning” we all say in unison

“What do you like best about American girls?” the interviewer asks and I roll my eyes at the question. I then spot Richard off to the side shaking his head at me

“They’re very very loud” Liam says which causes everyone to scream

“YN what’s it like for you? Your living every girls dream right now being close to these boys all of the time”

“Your right I am living my dream, but it’s being on stage and singing. I’m just lucky I get to do that with these guys I can call family” I reply

“What’s the best and worst part of this sudden fame?”

“I think for me and I know these guys will probably agree, but I’ve made 5 best friends” Zayn says “the only down side would be that we don’t get to see our friends and family as much” or that our every move is controlled, is what I would love to have added on. We continue on the interview and sing a few more songs.

I stand next to Louis and Harry while our choreographer puts us in our places for rehearsals for the Kids Choice Awards

“I want YN and Zayn to switch” Richard says hands on his hips “we can’t afford more cheating rumours so during this song you have to stay away from each other”

“And what happens when the press say YN and Liam are dating or YN and Niall?” Zayn asks

“We will deal with that if it happens. Harry I’m looking into getting you and Taylor Swift together. Boots both of your careers”

“Are you serious?” Zayn raises his eyebrow “this is ridiculous” he huffs

“Simons wishes, keep rehearsing” Richard then leaves us to carry on rehearsals. I take in a deep breath just as I feel an arm around my shoulder. I look up to see Zayn

“I know, me to” neither Zayn or I have ever liked Richard, but we’ve always tried to keep the peace but it’s getting harder and harder.

[xxaraaq]

𝟭𝟵𝟴𝟮

masterlist

wc | 3.2k

cw | angst, traumatic upbringing, unprotected sex, long distance relationship for a little while ig

Reiner x black! reader

A/N | This is prob my longest fic so far but I really enjoyed writing this and I cried a lot. I hope y'all enjoy. Not edited btw so don't mind any mistakes.

The first time you told him that you wanted to move away when the time came to decide what you wanted to do with your life, he didn’t think much about it. Your opinions regarding your future fluctuated constantly, from what you wanted to have as a snack to what you wanted to be when you grew up. You could never decide on one thing for long. You were only nine at the time, and you left it at that. He was still glad that you dropped it nonetheless, for it would hurt him beyond measure to watch you leave. The two of you went to the creek to play with the other kids after that, and his thoughts were occupied on other things such as getting back at a boy called Clarence for pushing you onto a pile of rocks after you told him to leave you alone. Reiner’s always been like that, walking the extra mile for you whenever you needed it, even if you didn’t ask. He was the type to stand behind you when you were deep in a conversation with someone else, quietly hanging onto every word as you went on without a care in the world. It was simple, and he liked it like that. 

The second time he remembers you bringing it up, it was around freshman year of highschool. Things had started getting stressful at home, with your father having gotten caught in an affair and your mother turning to wine to cope. Those days were mainly spent at his fathers farm, helping him with his chores and anything that needed tending too. He always noticed how you would come to him with dry tears staining your face, but he never said anything about it. He was just happy that you were coming to him when things got hard, and you were happy that he was there through it all. Your bouts of sadness would never last long with him though, he would always be able to cheer you up no matter what went on in your home. You would come over so often that his mom would make you a plate once it was time for dinner. It was a normal day, you were helping Reiner with carrying hay bales for his horses, when it came out.

“I think I wanna move to a big city, like New York and LA once I graduate.” You say, mind fixated on not getting bit by Daisy, the feistiest horse you think you’ve ever met. He stops in his tracks, looking at you with a shocked face. “Why would you wanna do that?” He asks, concern lacing his tone. “I don’t know. I think I’m just tired of all the bullshit that comes with this sucky ass town. I wanna be able to live my life without anyone trying to strike down my dreams just cus’ they think it’s not the way I should be living.” You shrug, petting her as she chews on the straws of hay. He doesn’t really know what to think, but it makes him nervous. He knows that you have a multitude of reasons for wanting to get out, but he doesn’t want to see you go, especially not without him. It scared him, but he wasn’t going to let his fear outway his advice for you.

“Well I think you should do whatever makes you the happiest, I would hate to see you stay here in plain old misery just because you chose the thing that would make other people happy.” You smile at him, knowing that he talks purely out of his heart, and not just saying what you want to hear. His wholeness is your favorite quality about him. He’s never been one to shy away from the truth, and he always has your best interest in mind, even if it wasn't the best for him. “Awww, really?” You coo, walking up to him. “Yeah, why not? Why should you stay here if you don’t want to? Because of what other people might say? Screw that, it’s your life, and you shouldn’t be living it for others who don’t actually give a damn about you.” 

Without a doubt, those conversations were your favorites. You could be open and vulnerable with worrying about being judged or brushed off. It was talks of real life that constantly reminded you that Reiner was truly a good friend, a good person. He would actually listen instead of simply hearing to respond. It made you feel heard, made you feel like you weren’t out of your mind. It was the same for him as well. Whenever he talked about the pressures that his father put on him about being a leader, being responsible, and putting family above everything; he knew that all it took was a knock on your door and you would be there for him, comforting him with honest words and a tight embrace if need be. It was the perfect relationship, easy and smooth.

Until he started to fall in love.

He knew when he started to look at you in a different way, he wasn’t oblivious. He grew, so did you. The person you were sprouting into amazed him. You were kind, but not a pushover. Firm, but not some – well, most of the time. He was mesmerized by all parts of you, good and bad. You couldn’t lie when you thought he turned out just as fine, if not finer than all the other boys you grew up with. He was a solid six one, with years of hard labor showing on his body. He was still a gentleman, which is what you think is what you loved most about him. He was the sweetest boy you’ve ever known, and it wasn’t just for show. He was everything if not one for chivalry, always opening doors and being polite, slinging out “Yes ma’am” and “No sir”, just like he was taught. He was what every mother wanted their daughter to bring home, but he only had eyes for you. People could see it too, that’s why no one tried to steer his attention from you. He was the first and last person you saw every night, and were both fine with that. You would take long drives in his truck in the early mornings of the weekend, and spend time together in his cargo bed on late Sunday. It was peaceful, just you and him. He knew that you were starting to catch on, but he wanted to enjoy it, because talks of favorite tv characters turned into what colleges were being applied to. The unburdened era of childhood was slowly coming to an end, and it was frightening.

Frightening because you would have obligations to take care of, frightening because he knew that his endless conversations were manifesting.

Frightening because he knew his time with you was coming to an end.

Your mothers addiction had gotten much worse over the course of time, leaving you to have to deal with her hysteria. Reiner lost track of the amount of times you had called him on the landline, practically begging him to come pick you up, to save you from the cloud that has consumed your mother, from the feelings that brew inside you. You had grown sick of the stuffy place you call your hometown, and he had caught on quick – he always does.

The last time you talked about it was the summer after graduating. Your dynamic had changed, longing gazes had been throwing and touches had been shared. It was getting more romantic, more intimate. Reiner’s father decided that he should go stay at his grandmother's lake house for the summer, and that he should bring you. You knew you could go without having to ask, so off the two of you went. The ride was easy, songs being sung along to and many stops being made for pictures and pee breaks. The house was beautiful, with the frontside facing the beach. You settled in quickly, buzzing with excitement as you ran to the clear blue water. Many days were spent like this, the pair of you swimming and laughing and kissing in solidarity. It was what he dreamed of, being alone with you to just soak in your presence, nobody calling his name and nothing to worry about. It was bliss, until it wasn’t.

Summer was coming to a close, with only two weeks until fall semester began. He drove you two home, the air different from usual. He knew the privacy you had with him was going to change the nature of your relationship, but it still bothered him inside. During it all, he noticed that you would be awake in the early morning, asking your mother about a letter. He knew you wouldn’t talk to the woman unless it was of absolute importance, you despised her after all. You seemed more nervous the closer you got, but he tried not to think too much of it, summing it up to having jitters on going to college. 

It wasn’t until you called him a couple days later with dread in your voice that he knew what the phone calls were about.

“I got in.”

Words so simple, but so sad. Usually one would be happy that they got into college, but you weren’t. It hit him like a ton of bricks, he didn’t know what to do with himself. Was he supposed to be happy for you? Was he supposed to cry with you? Was he supposed to be strong for you? Yes, that’s exactly what he needs to be, what he's always been for you; for everyone.

“I’ll be over in a couple, just wait for me, okay?” His voice has always calmed you, but not this time. With a simple okay, you hung up the phone. He speeds through stop signs, breaking the speed limit by around twenty miles just to get to you faster. He jumped out the car, jogging down your driveway as you jump into his arms. He’s warm and smells nice, the scent of his cologne and freshly wet soil hitting your nose. He holds you for a second, then five, then ten. “What’s wrong sugar? What’s got you so worked up, huh?” He asks, looking at your features for any signs hinting at your distress. “I got in, Reiner. UCLA, they accepted me.” You say, gripping his shirt for support. “UCLA? I-isn’t that in California?” You nod, and he sighs deep, pulling your head to his chest. “I’m so glad they accepted me, but I’m scared. I don’t know anyone there, and I don’t wanna leave you.” 

Him. You didn’t want to leave him. He didn’t want to, but in that moment he felt so ecstatic that he was the only reason you wanted to stay. It was selfish, he knew that, but he elated that he was that special to you.

“Isn’t this what you always wanted? To get out this shitty little town and finally live your life?” He was right, when was he not? But it still hurt knowing that he wasn’t coming with you. “Yes, but I love you, and if I leave I won’t come back. I don’t wanna leave you here and you never see me again and you move on with life while I never stop thinking of you, thinking that if I stayed then none of it would’ve happened.” You were crying at this point, tears pouring down your face. He wiped them, even kissing some of them away. “Now in what world would I move on without you? Don’t be silly now, you're my number one girl. You're gonna go to UCLA, live your life, and be happy. I’ll be right here, supporting you from this shitty little town in Texas. We’ll talk to each other on the phone, and we’ll still love each other the same.” It was a lie, and he knew it. But it wanted to believe it so bad, you did too. You spent the rest of the night with him, and you ended up making love.

It was new to the both of you, but for some reason it wasn’t awkward. Light kisses down your neck and soft moans filled the night sky as your dream came true. As ashamed as you were of the fact, you had fantasized this night many times before. He treated you with care and compassion, as he did any other time. But it was different, more transparent. It was hot, sticky, and sweaty. But neither of you cared, happy to do this with each other, to be the others first.

It wasn’t long after that before he had to help you pack and see to the train. His mother cried for and with you, hugging you tight as she whispered prayers in your ear for your success and safety. You could see tears in his fathers eyes that wouldn’t dare fall. He told you that he’s always seen you as his own, and that he was happy that his son got to grow up with you. He drove you to the station, hand on your thigh as a reminder. A reminder that he’s there and that he doesn’t want to let you go, a reminder that he loves you.

A reminder that he’ll never forget you.

You wish you lived close enough to an airport so that you could spend more time with him before you left, but that wasn’t the case. He picked your luggage with a quiet grunt and followed you to the platform. You turned to him, not knowing what to say, and he knew it. Your eyes met his, and a tear raced down his cheek. You followed suit, and soon the both of you were crying. He pulled you into a hug that you never wanted to leave, and he knew it. He knew all of it, and that’s what you think made saying goodbye so much harder.

“Promise me you’ll call?” You ask, sniffling. “Course’ I will, doll. What kinda man would I be if I didn't call my woman?” His woman. You’re his woman. It’s supposed to make you happy, but it just makes you cry harder. “Cmon now, I don’t want cha’ goin on this train boo hooing when you have so much to look forward to.” You shake your head yes, touching your forehead to his. He kissed you again, then again, then again. If you weren’t whispering to each other, you’re sure that bystanders would’ve noticed by now. But you didn’t care, you just wanted one more night with him to watch the fireflies and talk about meaningless shit that has meaning in the moment, because that’s what it comes down to. Moments with him make you feel like everything is perfectly fine, even if they’re not. 

You hear the deafening sound of the train whistle in the distance, signaling the end of your time with him. “There’s your train to the future baby.” He says, kissing your temple. “Shut up Reiner!” You laugh, leaning into it.

He helped you board the train, finding your seat with ease. He looks at you, and you look at him. He’s frozen in place, and so are you. “I love you so much, let that be known for as long as you live.” He says, hugging you for the last time. “I love you too, don’t forget it either. Oh, and don’t forget to tell Daisy that mommy loves her.” You joke, chuckling as you see his face drop. She had warmed up to you over the years, and you were now her favorite person.“That damn horse is the bane of my existence.” he scoffs, and you burst out laughing. “I think you, your family, and that damn horse are the only things I’m gonna miss around here.” You say, playing with his collar. 

The conductor yells something you don’t catch, but you know it means that he has to leave. “Can’t I just come with you and tell my parents why I didn’t come back later?” He asks, a boyish tone in his voice. “You can’t,” you coo, “if you did, they would actually kill you when you got back.” “Who said I would come back?” Your eyes widen in shock, really contemplating it. All in all, he could come, but he has a life here for him – you don’t.

“No, you need to stay so you can take your fathers farm once you're old enough. I know that it’s your dream even though you get tired of it sometimes.” He looks at you with an expression you can’t explain. It’s as if he’s trying to tell you something he can’t put into words, but he doesn’t need to. You understand him just as well as he does you. Some things don’t need to be said, and this is one of those things. “Call me when you get there, ok?” He borderline begs. You say yes, and he finally walks off.

The trains move with a jerk, but you don’t pay attention to it. You see him as he slowly disappears into the distance, being replaced by forest and gravel. You don’t cry anymore, more like you refuse to, but you think to yourself – what if I stayed.

When you reach California, as the first day commences, when you finish your freshman year, and when you graduate. Through it all you constantly think to yourself, what would've happened if I stayed?

The calls started getting sparser and short, life catching up to the both of you making less time for each other. It still hurts when you think about it, but life is life, and it doesn’t stop for anybody. By senior year, the two of you stopped talking all together. You found people, as did he. The two of you drifted apart, as many others do. But you don’t care about the others, all you care about is him.

He calls you the day you graduate. It’s short and simple,exchanging hellos and words of well being. You want to ask him a million questions, but you refrain. You're content enough with just hearing his voice, even though you know it’ll be for the last time. He’s in the middle of asking you what your class rank when you hear a youthful voice on his end. “Is that your kid?” You ask, deep down hoping he says no. There's a brief pause, as if he’s thinking of a lie to tell you. “Yeah, she’s my youngest.” He finally says, and your heart drops. “Oh..that’s lovely to hear. How old is she?” You ask, throat tightening up. “She just turned two, her birthday was last week actually.” He sighs, seeming to be occupied with her. “What’s that sweet girl's name?” You ask, eyes darting around the room looking for something to keep you busy. “Um..I actually named her after you.” You freeze in your tracks, breath hitching. “Does her mom know about me?” You ask, hoping that she doesn’t. “No. She’s from out of town actually. Her names Natalie.” You can’t breathe. Room starts to spin around you. He notices, and starts to call out your name. “I..I gotta go Reiner.” You hang up the phone before he can say anything else.

She’s a reminder. A reminder of your old love,  a reminder that he’s always been waiting and still doesn’t want to let you go, a reminder that he loves you.

A reminder that he’s never forgotten you, and he never will.

-Nene

[saintsir4n]

Can u do the scene with eden finding out about grace. Thank u and I am in love with ur writing, I've read Dark twisted fantasy about 3 times already and will read for a 4th time, I love how u write the black women in ur stories, how u show their emotions and how u portray them. ♥️♥️

love this and thank you.

BETRAYED

——

1919

“What is it? What’s wrong you had everythin’ fuckin’ planned.” Eden stressed, after being told they had been betrayed.

Ada had left the room, with baby Karl and an anxious Inara in tow, whilst Eden and Tommy stayed. The Dawkins woman watched as he paced, gulping and tugging at the roots of his hair, wanting to say something but couldn’t spit it out.

Black Star Day was their day. It was planned, everything was going according to plan, and Tommy said so. Prayers had been said, drinks had been poured, and Eden and her newfound friend Grace even chatted, buzzing about it all.

But it went to hell when Jeremiah informed Arthur that Billy Kimber was spotted, with an army full of fuckers rallying behind him. There was no God in Small Heath. With every War that ended, another started up.

“It was Grace,” Tommy finally blurted.

Eden froze, face full of confusion, “What was Grace?”

“We’ve been fuckin’ betrayed.”

Tommy had been so stuck on the why, he didn’t focus on the how, how the Irish Barmaid they befriended so quickly could accomplish all of this in such a small frame.

“No,” Eden, of course refused to believe it.

And just like that, she began to pace and he watched, observed with a pained expression as she struggled to come to terms with the truth.

“Eden,” Tommy exclaimed.

“No, she’s our friend remember,” Eden gesticulated. “She was in the Garrison, fuckin’ seconds ago, pouring pints, celebrating with us all.”

Tommy breathed out, more steadier than before, “She gave us away.”

His voice was calm but he was anything but. He had to keep it together, for her. For his Edie, who was on the verge of spiralling.

Eden gulped as her heels slammed against the floorboards, creaking and cracking.

“You said we could trust her,” she whispered, but he heard.

It was like shrapnel to his chest.

You were wrong Tom, was what she meant. You didn’t think.

“I know,” Tommy nodded, standing still, silently raging.

She turned to him, gritted her teeth, “You said we could trust her Thomas.”

He shut his eyes, “Don’t you think I don't fuckin’ know that.”

“You said we could fuckin’ trust her!”

Eden wrung out her numb hands as she choked back a sob. All that happened, all that has been going wrong since that fucking inspector came to their city, their town of Small Heath. She felt the work of a wretched soul at play but she didn’t expect to think it would come from such a nice girl like Grace.

Huh…

Nice, she certainly pulled the wool over their fucking eyes.

Eden had just felt so lonely, Tommy had returned home from the war and her best friends were either dead or in London. She needed someone other than her husband to speak to, preferably anyone without the last name Shelby. And there Grace was, singing her way into the Garrison with her soft and trusting voice.

Oh, how they were wrong.

Eden’s face scrunched up as Tommy’s eyes quickly opened having heard her shuddering breaths.

You said we could fuckin’ trust her. Tommy had his suspicions. He knew the barmaid lied about where she came from and why she moved. He didn’t trust her at first but his wife did. He too, missed the comfort of a friend. Freddie wasn’t one anymore, not after the war, they were on two different paths, racing like trains that wouldn’t come to a halt at any time soon. His other good friend was dead and had been for years. The war took more from him than he thought and his little ‘Nara was the light of his life, his Edie was his heart. But Grace… she was something new, something calm that settled both him and his wife. An outsider, a new friend.

Oh, how she played them for a fool.

“She’s the reason why ‘Nara was almost taken,” Eden’s glossy eyes darted to him, as he stood there in shock. “That fuckin’ inspector tried clawing our daughter out of our hands. For dirty dealin’ Moss said. He got the fuckin’ social on us, claimed that we were a pack of animals.” Eden remembered it all like it was just yesterday. “But they — they trashed our houses, turned it all into a tip, framin’ us like we did it all and they tried… oh Tom they scared us good they did. They scared our little girl even more.”

Tommy’s jaw clenched, recalling the day, hearing his daughter’s screeches and his wife’s wails… Christ, they were louder than the shovels against the wall. Pat. Pat. Pat. He almost wasn't there to stop it. They claimed that Eden was too erratic, too primitive to look after a child like theirs. Daddy! Inara’s shaken voice will always stay with them.

Being dragged and kicked back to that day, neither parent saw or heard Polly enter the room, full of grief and torment.

The Shelby Matriarch's stomach dropped once more, it scarred her brain just like it did when her children were taken from her.

Eden rasped, “I need to see her.”

“No, no you won’t.” Polly shook her head, “I'll deal with Grace. If either one of you set eyes on her again, you might kill her.”

Eden hung onto that blissful thought.

When Polly left, Tommy turned to his wife, sighing when she gripped her Black Madonna.

“I thought we could trust her,” Eden wanted to cry.

She wanted to scream, stab, shoot, fuck anything.

“I know love. I know,” Tommy slowly nodded.

The two exchanged a dark look, one that read, that they’ll talk later.

“Tommy?”

“Yeah.”

“Please be safe.”

And with that Tommy raced out of the house, needing to end this all one and for all.

——

a/n:

If I ever wrote the canon plot, Tommy wouldn’t cheat on Eden, but because of who he is he would do other things to fuck up their relationship.

In this though both trusted Grace as a friend because of how they lost friends in my headcanon

[larissa-the-scribe]

Terrarium Lights

Part 1 of 3 for @inklings-challenge

An older lady befriends and adopts a ghost she found in her garden

Next part >>here

Michael Goffrey bid his wife farewell as he left for his next shipping job, and Gail Goffrey was once again faced with the fact that her house was cavernously empty.

She had expected the house to feel empty after her children grew up and moved on with their lives; that was the sort of thing one always heard about from the mothers and wives left behind. However, everyone seemed to stress the loneliness—not the rather more intense boredom.

Gail had always preferred quiet and alone time, so she did not take issue with the solitude. However, though she still had to cook and mend and clean and tidy and all the other tasks, it was one thing to do so for six people and quite another, shorter thing to do so for two. It was even less of a thing to do so for one, since Michael had been promoted to first mate and now had to accompany the airships personally, no longer simply loading and unloading at the cloudends as he once did.

Empty and meaningless. That’s what it felt like. With her family, she had people to help and care for. With just herself, she felt as though she were wasting time walking in circles for no other purpose than to exist.

She made it to the second day without any significant issue.

She was out tending to the herb garden when it happened—a bug wandered in front of her. That shouldn’t have been a problem. Bugs were some of her favorite creatures. But after the first smile, it hit her that she hadn't seen a new kind of one in months—this one already had three sketches in her notebook.

She’d run out of garden bugs to document.

Bugs, of all things. Bugs were everywhere, bugs had never-ending variations, bugs were constant. And she’d run out of them.

Stabbing the trowel into the earth perilously close to the offending bug, she sat back on her heels and looked up at the sky.

"Well, Lord, I reckon you put me on your good Earth for a reason. And I don't think it was just to sketch bugs." She smoothed her apron out, flicking bits of dirt off of it. "I also doubt I'm done with what I'm supposed to do down here, otherwise I wouldn't be here. But if you don't mind me saying, I'm awfully bored of where I am, though I do love my house and my husband and my town quite fierce. But I have all the time in the world, and I'd like to do good with it, if I could. So if you could show me what to do where I can—give me eyes to see as who I can do good towards—then I would appreciate it mightily."

Gail had prayed similar prayers before, with varying regularity. She knew the good Lord had heard her, as he always did. And if he answered with more solitude and time and boredom, then she supposed that was where she was meant to be for the moment. But she dearly hoped there might be something new this time.

So, really, she shouldn't have been surprised to see someone under the loquat tree. But then again, it had been raining since before dawn, so no one in their right mind would have been outdoors. She should know, since she herself had been out gathering moss for terrariums and hadn't heard a breath from anyone all day, even near the city.

Her first impression was that the lad was quite young. Younger than her youngest, in fact, who had not too long ago started her career as a professor at the nearby university. Looked perhaps like he could be one of her students. Very slight of build, as though he needed to eat more, and small looking as he sat hunched in the rain and letting the wet drip down his messy hair, full of loose ends that had gotten free from his ponytail.

Gail stood at the edge of her garden for a moment, resting her pail of moss against the stone border as she observed him.

He didn't move, just sat there with his face turned towards the soil, and didn't seem to see her. Part of his shoulder seemed stained, perhaps with mud. With the house not a few feet to the left, she wondered if he'd tried to knock and not gotten an answer, what with her out and about.

Well, unexpected or not, there was really only one thing to do.

Gripping her pail handle resolutely, Gail marched her way through the garden paths and stood in front of him. He shifted at the sound of her approach, turning his face up towards her—his eyes were pale, as if someone had sketched them on and not bothered with paint. What's more, up closer, the brownish stain on his shoulder looked rather like dried blood.

He tilted his head, as if trying to tell where the sound had come from.

"Well then," she said after a long moment of trying to figure out what to say, "who might you be?"

"Oh." He looked more directly at her, and somehow the eyes looked a bit more colored in, like they remembered they could be brown. "Dreadfully sorry, ma'am. I seem to have gotten lost in the rain. I hope you don't mind me taking a few moments here under your tree?"

He hadn't answered the question, but he seemed more surprised than shifty. "Not at all. Unpleasant weather to be lost in, for sure. If you'd like, you can wait it out under a roof."

"Oh," he said again, and looked to his left; this time it seemed like he understood what he was seeing. "I suppose that would be nicer."

"Well, you're welcome to my roof, if you’d like," she said. She wondered how long he would take her up on that.

He awkwardly stumbled to his feet before she could offer her hand. "That's very kind of you, ma'am."

"Would you like anything to eat?" She went ahead and led the way to the kitchen door.

He hummed thoughtfully. "Thank you ma’am, but I don't think I'm hungry."

She didn't think he would be, but, well, it wasn't like she had experience with this. Which concerned her—she had no idea what she was supposed to be doing. At least he didn't seem to be wicked. She supposed he must need a helping hand and, while she needed to figure out what that help was, he was still just a boy; she would do him the courtesy of treating him accordingly.

The porch and floors, old and creaky since long before she and her husband and infant son had moved in decades ago, greeted them with typical fanfare as they trudged over the threshold. She dripped her way over to the stove, where she put the kettle on; it was unlikely that her visitor would want any, but she most certainly did. Setting her pail of moss by the stove to deal with later, she glanced back to see the lad standing in the middle of the space, staring up at the roof.

Gail wondered if he noticed that he wasn't wet.

"Say," she said, carefully pulling teacups out of the cupboard, "what did you say your name was?"

He looked at her sharply. "I… I don't think I did."

"Hmmmm. Well, how should I call you, then?"

He stared at her.

In the background, the rain continued on.

"Should I just call you ma'am, then?" He said, smiling faintly.

Gail squinted at him. "Now then, young man, are you dodging the question deliberately, or do you just not have an answer?"

"Oh." He glanced around the kitchen, then back to her, and blanked. "Sorry, what was the question?"

Gail rested back against the counter. She picked up her glasses from where she'd left them this morning, and stuck them on, pushing the temples through her sodden mess of hair. "I was just asking what your name was."

His eyes widened. "I… don't… Didn't I answer that?"

"Not as I can recall."

"That… that was rude of me, then, wasn't it?" His eyes were still wide, and the brown was fading.

Maybe it was rude of her to keep pressing the matter. He seemed not to know. Gail pressed her glasses firmer on her nose, trying to reach some kind of decision—but whatever was going on with her guest had been set in motion.

"What is my name?" He asked, his voice rising. "I can't remember my name."

"That's alright, dear," she said, trying to distract him, calm him down. "Do you remember where you were before my garden?"

It had the opposite effect.

He stepped back, towards the door, and glanced around with eyes that no longer understood where he was. "No… I-I can't remember… where am I? Do you know my name?"

"I'm afraid I—"

The kettle shrieked into the space between them with a rush of steam.

The lad cast a wild glance in its direction, stepped backwards. Gail, startled into motion, scrambled to shut the thing off.

When she turned back, the space where he had stood was dry and empty. She and the rain and her pail of terrarium moss had been left alone again.

Next

[mcufan72]

Cold winter days, a lonely woman on a bench, a stranger in the park...

An Encounter in Winter ❄️

Loki and female reader

18+/adult themes/talking/flirting/slow burn/fluff/angst/smut (eventually)

A/N: this is a Loki x female reader AU. It's the most personal story I've written so far and I put my whole heart, blood, sweat and tears into it. It's a story about love and my protagonists talk a lot with each other. It's a slow burn but eventually, there will be smut.

I've never been to New York or Norway, all my descriptions are fictionalized. Also, my usage of MCU facts is incorrect and I don't delve deep into details here. I use it as I need it for my little story you hopefully like and enjoy!

This fic mentions an accident and alcoholism but only in one chapter. Descriptions are vague and not detailed. If any of it should trigger you, please don't read. Every chapter will have a warning if necessary.

Some things here are heavily inspired by @lokisprettygirl 's writing. Loki smelling like sandalwood and the overly sensitive lines on his skin when he's in his Jotun form are things I read in her fics first (HMN and TNSATSI). A big thank you to you, my friend, for being in agreement that I'm using it in my fic here, too. And also a big thank you for your constant support and encouragement. You know how much it means to me.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2 here

It was a cold winter afternoon, Christmas day and New Year's Eve only a few weeks away. This year it was already very cold in New York City and you had to wear warming, cuddly winter clothing for your daily walks in the park. Today you chose a knee-long woollen black dress that hugged your body perfectly, warm stockings, a pair of warm leather boots, a thick black winter coat, a big-sized fluffy scarf in shades of green and your favourite knitted beanie with the dark green big bobble…and not to forget your matching knitted gloves.

Warnings: none so far, just some flirting

After you got dressed, you were on the way to the park. Walking to that place and spending some time there after work became a ritual for you since you moved to this city around springtime. Your favourite place there was a bench at the little lake and you loved to sit there, especially when the sun was shining.

You had a fantastic view over the lake here. There was also a large lawn where people could sit, do sports or have a picnic and there was plenty of space for children to run and play safely. You loved to sit on that bench, secretly you called it yours, and you loved to watch the people here being happy and having fun. Somehow it warmed your heart to see all the couples in love flirting with each other or the families on their Sunday walks. You could have had it too, all of it but … it wasn't meant to be. Not for you.

After everything that happened and went wrong in your life, you had the urgent need to leave your hometown. You needed that distance from your old life. You had worked in many different big cities like London, Berlin, Oslo and you never had any trouble finding a job.

And now it's New York. You hadn't gotten the job you originally wanted to get but it was fine for now. Most important for you was that this city had the right measure of distance to your previous home. Besides, there was no one left there who would worry about you. It seemed you were destined to be alone so you couldn't disappoint or hurt anyone anymore.

Now in the winter time, the shallow lake was completely frozen and the first snow had already fallen. The kids built snowmen with their friends or their parents, had snowball fights or made snow angels. Some people enjoyed ice skating on the lake. It made you smile when you saw how much fun they had.

You let your gaze wander over the scenery and you soaked up every beautiful moment of it as you did every single day when you were sitting here. It always calmed you down from your stressful job and it was also a calming distraction in general.

On the bench next to yours sat a man, watching the lake and the people like you were doing, an old married couple and their dog were walking past you and you greeted each other kindly. When you began to freeze you decided to go back home. You were hungry and tired and after a hot shower, you went to sleep.

The next day at work was a very hard one. Your job as a medical assistant at a medical care centre exhausted you more and more recently, there were so many people to take care of. So today's walk in the park was extremely welcomed.

When you had taken a seat on your bench you first soaked up the peaceful atmosphere. You closed your eyes and took several deep breaths and you felt better immediately. Your gaze wandered around and on the bench next to yours sat a man again. Wasn't that the same man as yesterday? You weren't sure and you didn't think about it further.

His gaze wandered around and he watched the people in the park. He enjoyed the atmosphere here, it calmed him down in a pleasant way yesterday and so he decided to come here more often. It was a good distraction for him from the hard and strenuous trips and missions he has to make regularly.

On the bench next to him sat a woman. Wasn't that the same woman as yesterday? It should be you, you wore the same unique beanie with the big dark green bobble. He will be here again tomorrow. Maybe you'll be here again too.

The next few days went by in the same routine and as every day you visited the park. And as every day…the man on the bench next to yours was there again, too. Sitting there like you, alone like you. How come you had never noticed him here except in the last few days? You came daily here for months now but you had never seen him here. Maybe he had just discovered this place here recently and it seemed he liked this place as much as you did.

Today you allowed yourself to look a little bit longer at him. He was well dressed, in a black suit, black leather ankle boots and a coat that seemed to be too thin for the cold weather. His raven hair was slicked back and reached far over his shoulders.

Even when he sat there with loosely crossed legs you could see how long and well-trained they were. Also otherwise he seemed to be very attractive. When he turned his head in your direction and glanced at you, you looked away quickly. You felt caught staring at him and you hoped he couldn't see your reddened cheeks.

The next day you came to the park again as he hoped you would do. Same time, same place. And you were alone again. Did you wait for someone who never comes? You sat down and watched the scenery like every day. Whenever you did not look in his direction he observed you secretly. Not in a weird way, he would never do something like that. He was just curious and you looked cute with your knitted beanie with the big bobble, cuddled up into your fluffy scarf.

Yesterday you two looked at each other for a very short moment but unfortunately, you looked away quickly. He liked your pretty face and he thought he saw your cheeks reddening when he caught you staring at him.

He would like to get you known but he would never dare to address you. He would never bother you. You seemed not to be the kind of woman he usually asked to spend the night with him. He couldn't really describe what it was but there was a special aura surrounding you. You seemed discreet…and lonely.

There was something about you that evoked his protective instinct and so he decided to return to the park and this bench daily to have a look if you might be there again, too. You radiated so much peace and kindness and it made him feel comfortable. He just wanted to see you. Nothing more.

When you arrived at the park in the early afternoon at your bench, the handsome stranger was already there again, staring at the lake. It seemed he didn't even recognize you. You had the feeling of being protected by him only through his presence. But maybe it was just your imagination or wishful thinking because he was a great, tall, noble statue of a man. You had fallen for something like this before…

Nonetheless, he has intrigued you and you were wondering why he was here every day now too, on his bench and every day at the same time…at the same time as you. This morning before you went to work you decided that today would be the day when you would address him. You had nothing to lose so you would give it a chance. Of course, he was a stranger and maybe you should not talk to him but you felt drawn to him somehow.

After half an hour of sitting on your bench, you gathered all your courage and went over to him. You felt a bit nervous because normally you would never do that. But nothing in your life was normal anymore. You knew it could be dangerous to talk to a stranger. But there were so many people here around you that you felt safe enough to talk to him. And why shouldn't two lonely people talk to each other? Could be nice, couldn't it?

"May I?" you asked the well-dressed man with the black, slicked-back long hair.

Unlike before when you just looked at him from afar, you now realized how handsome he actually was. Before today you had mostly only looked at him from the corners of your eyes because you never wanted to stare at him.

He had a sharp jawline, high cheekbones, small but seductive lips, curved into a slightly mischievous smile, a straight beautiful nose and irresistible piercing baby-blue eyes…he looked like a prince, his appearance was flawless, godly. Like every day he wore a perfectly tailored black suit, a light cashmere coat and a light-woollen scarf, just loosely wrapped around his neck.

You still wondered if the cold didn't affect him because he wore clothes like this every day.

He widened his eyes and raised his eyebrows when he looked up at you, directly into your eyes. You nearly forgot to breathe. He made you shiver with excitement.

"Of course! Please, take a seat" he answered while he rose from the bench.

His gaze softened and he made an inviting gesture with his hand. His smooth dark voice caused goosebumps on your skin under your cosy and warming clothes and you smiled at him.

"Thank you, Sir" and the both of you sat down again simultaneously, facing each other.

"You might be surprised why I'm talking to you. Normally I don't do that." You smiled at him, almost apologetically.

"Normally you don't? But now you do!" he smirked at you, seemingly amused.

"Ahhmm…I'm sorry, maybe…maybe it wasn't a good idea…ahhmm…believe me it was the last thing on my mind to inconvenience you, I'm sorry! I guess I'd better get going" and you wanted to get up and leave. How embarrassing, what had gotten into you?

"No, no young Lady, please stay!"

His deep baritone and the friendly tone in his voice stopped your want to leave. You smiled at him again but you still felt embarrassed and you felt your cheeks blushing. He was a fascinating man and his eyes seemed to stare deep into your soul. You were sure you could neither lie to a man like him nor not like him. You took a deep breath before you found your voice again.

"I recognized you being here every day like me, alone…just like me. And I thought maybe we could sit here together and talk to each other…but of course…only if you want."

"Believe me or not, I had the same thought but I would never have spoken to you. You know, I didn't mean to come at you like that."

"Oh, that's very decent, Sir. Not every man is like this" and you smiled at each other.

"I just …watched you from afar. Sounds weird, doesn't it? But I was conce–…I noticed you're coming to the park every day, too. Aren't you afraid to sit here every afternoon alone?" he asked you and his concern was genuine.

"To be honest…no! No, I'm not. There are so many people here every day in the afternoons, I feel safe so far." you explained.

"I've been visiting the park every day for months now and never something bad happened. Of course, something bad could happen every day. I also know that this city was attacked by aliens several years ago, but that's not how I want to live…every day expecting the worst, no!" and you shook your head. Bad days you've had more than enough.

"I always hope that every day will just offer the best things to me" you said thoughtfully and smiled.

"And now you are here every day…you could protect me if you want," you said to him and laughed.

"…no no, I'm just kidding, don't take me too seriously!" You smiled at him while you pulled your beanie right.

You were cute, really cute. Your smile was warming, your attitude was friendly, and you also seemed to be strong and confident…with a hint of sadness. He got to know many women and with most of them, he was intimately involved. With some of them he had also nice conversations but none of them was like you.

"I would do that immediately for you, my Lady. I would never let someone harm you."

He genuinely meant it and he gave you a friendly grin. But he was sure if you had known who he really was and what he did in the past, you would never allow him to do that.

"You're truly a gentleman…but please, I'm not a Lady…I'm y/n " and you offered him a handshake with your gloved hand, a radiant smile on your lips.

He took your hand and held your fingers with his, lifted your hand carefully upwards, bowed down his head and gave an implied kiss to the back of your gloved hand. When he lifted his head upwards again he looked into your eyes, still gently holding your hand. You swallowed thickly, nobody ever did that before. Never before had someone given you a perfect hand kiss.

"Lady y/n…I'm Loki Laufeyson. It's an honour to meet you!"

You couldn't help yourself but stare into his eyes with a slightly open mouth. You were utterly impressed by him and his manners.

"Nice to meet you, Mr. Laufeyson" you answered breathlessly.

After what felt like an eternity, he softly let go of your hand. You wished he would still hold it because it felt nice.

You weren't sure but you thought you had heard his name before. You had lived and worked in Oslo for some time so it might be just a coincidence.

"Are you from Norway? Because of your name…"

"No, not really" he chuckled.

"Oh, okay, I lived and worked there for a while and that might be the reason your name sounds familiar to me" you explained and you still had the feeling you had heard his name somewhere before.

"Maybe you ought to be afraid of me!" he stated. He knew that nearly everyone still feared him.

"No, Mr. Laufeyson, I'm not afraid of you. I just dared to speak to you" and you gave him your sweet smile again.

"Should I be afraid of you?" you asked him mischievously.

"I don't know…" he answered you playfully with his deep, dark voice and it made you shiver.

His voice was like sweet honey that slowly ran down your body. Probably you would do anything he asks you for and you would just obey. You should better get rid of this weakness.

Instead of widening your eyes in fear, he seemed to seduce you. Why didn't you fear him? And he could swear you had an idea who he was.

"So we conclude that I'm not afraid of you." You smiled at him brightly again.

"If you'd have wanted to harm me you could've done it yet, you had many opportunities in the last days, didn't you?" You asked him confirming.

"Right. But what if I'm planning to do it?" He leaned his head towards you.

"What if I lied?"

His voice went more silent and deeper but his gaze remained friendly. You shivered again but not because of fear.

"Possibly you did…but if you want to harm me, even if you want to abduct me, I wouldn't mind …there won't be anyone who would actually miss me." Your gaze became more serious and sad.

"What are you saying?" He furrowed his eyebrows and gazed concernedly at you.

"No one would miss me" you murmured sadly.

"And still I'm not afraid of you…just a gut feeling, it rarely deceives me" you said, more confident again.

"There must be someone?" and he furrowed his eyebrows again.

He felt bad for you. What happened to you that you were all alone nowadays and his concern about you grew…feelings he knew but barely showed others.

"No, there's no one. It's a long story, Mr. Laufeyson" you said quietly and turned your head away from his gaze towards the lake and you changed the subject.

"It's a nice place here, isn't it? One of the best people-watching spots in the city," you said.

"Yes, it is. Indeed" he answered and looked intensely at you.

"It's kind of peaceful and it offers an escape from the hustle and bustle of the city, doesn't it?" he asked you and couldn't take his eyes off you. Somehow he felt drawn to you.

"Yes, it does...and it also offers a distraction from life…" you said, sighing.

"It's beginning to dusk…I should go home now" you said and looked at him again.

"Will you be coming back tomorrow? And I can assure you, I definitely won't harm you, I didn't lie to you."

He would never do that to you and he just wanted to see you again. And the confirmation that you were alone fueled the desire to protect you.

You looked and smiled at him again before you answered.

"I knew I could trust you. Of course, Mr. Laufeyson, like every day I'll be here again tomorrow. Same time, same place!"

"Same time, same place, my Lady."

He almost looked lovingly into your eyes, took your hand carefully and gave you an implied kiss to the back of your hand again. When he released your hand, you both stood up from the bench.

"See you tomorrow, Mr. Laufeyson."

"See you tomorrow, Lady y/n."

On your way back home you couldn't stop thinking about him. Had you really had the courage to talk to a stranger? You laughed at yourself and your exuberance. You were about to make the same mistake as then…but Loki Laufeyson seemed to be different. Extremely handsome but different and with perfect manners. But no, you would never fall for someone again, it would just come to an unfortunate end again.

Loki couldn't believe what just had happened. You, one of the most beautiful women he had seen in a long time, so beautiful both externally and inwardly too so it seemed, dared to talk to him.

Did you actually say you trust him? Him? Without knowing him? You were adorable, indeed…and you were different. You were not like all the women who stood literally in a line in front of his bedroom door, you weren't nearly like them.

Of course, it confirmed his ego, that many women wanted him but it wasn't something that made him happy in life. If he was honest with himself he always searched for someone like you.

But he wasn't made for a serious relationship and to handle it this way, to only look for sexual affairs, was the best solution for him and it satisfied his carnal needs. And by the way, he knew there would never be a woman for him.

He knew there would never be someone who wanted to satisfy the undisclosed desires of his heart and his desire for genuine love. And so he went to the bar, like almost every day, where he would definitely find a willing companion for a lustful night of sex.

To be continued ...

❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️

@lokisprettygirl @wheredafandomat @fictive-sl0th