#but I haven't internalized that yknow?

[therealamperssand]

once again beseeching people to look at people's bios before asking for things. "art requests and commissions closed to the general public" means I will give you nothing. especially if you ask in the comments, especially on age-old posts! the least you could do is send a DM, jeez. "could you draw—" no, I couldn't.

[ratislatis]

I'll find you. Wait for me.

hee hee hoo hoo AUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH PAIN PAIN SUFFERING PAIN IN ALL DIRECTIONS!!!! TO HELL WITH IT (LITERALLY)!!!!!!!!!

[miesozernacma]

it is 10pm and i feel like the way i developed as a human wasn't the most optimal. and i want a start over button to appear over my head

so i can learn how to properly study

to take care of myself, by myself

to find a plan for actually learning things instead of just understanding them enough to have passing grades and a surface level understanding that doesn't lead me down any specific path in my life

to have a moment just to understand what im really about.

who i am

[ashen-char]

brace yourself

ship: amber freeman (scream) x fem reader

warnings: some jokes about blood/murder since its amber yknow, not much tho

summary: after getting braces, you feel insecure about it. your girlfriend amber reassures you about it

word count: 1100+

notes: requested here. thank you <3 i dont know too much abt braces but i hope you like it regardless

Awkward would be the first word that jumps into your head about how you're feeling right now. Your mouth feels weird, your lips and cheeks feeling crowded like there's suddenly not enough space in your mouth. You can't help running your tongue over the brackets and wires as your orthodontist speaks to you. He's telling you about how to take care of them, what foods not to eat, things to avoid. You're not really paying attention. Instead, you nod along to pretend you're listening when internally all you're thinking about is whether Amber would totally hate it.

When you had told her about the possibility of you getting braces, you couldn't really read your girlfriend's reaction. Amber was a big part of why you had grown to accept your old smile. She had made you confident in something you used to hate when you were younger, always telling you how much she liked it, always trying to make you smile so she could see it.

Your orthodontist hands you a pamphlet that sums up all the care he was describing, and after thanking him you stuff it into your pocket. That's when your phone buzzes with a text from Amber.

Hey, babe! Can't wait to see u. How was it?

You take a deep breath and type back quickly. Walking out of the clinic, you get into your car. You two had planned a date for after your appointment so that Amber could treat you while your gums and stuff were still all achey. It's cute how much she wanted to take care of you.

ah it went alright. give me a few? omw to pick you up

You catch sight of yourself in the rearview mirror. You flash a smile to inspect how the braces look, if it's really as different as it feels. The braces are clear as day in the bright pink you chose, like they're mocking you. You had picked a colour you liked in hopes that it'd cheer you up but maybe that was a bad idea.

Sitting on your driver's seat, you think about Amber's perfect smile, her eyes crinkling at the corners when she laughs. What if she notices the braces first thing? What if she thinks they’re ugly? Or what if she'll be disappointed that they're just... different?

Your thoughts are interrupted when Amber texts back. There's no time to worry about what she'll think - she'll see you in a few minutes whether you like it or not.

Getting changed. See ya mwah

Sighing, you buckle your seatbelt and turn the ignition key. There's no stalling when Amber's waiting for you.

By the time you pull up in the driveway of her house, Amber is already waiting at her front door. She lights up upon seeing you, walking out to your car before you even had the chance to go to her front door.

"Hey, babe," she says, sliding into the passenger seat. "How was the orthodontist?"

"Hey. And fine, I guess," you answer, barely even turning to look at her. You hesitate for a moment, wondering if you should go in for a kiss like you usually do. You've heard these stories about braces getting stuck together when people made out, or the brackets cutting lips. You don't wanna hurt Amber.

You hadn't even realised that you were pursing your lips shut until Amber calls you out on it. "What's with the frown, huh? Hiding them from me?" she asks teasingly.

"I-" you go to argue back, but inside you know she's right. It might have been unconscious but you didn't want her to see yet. Didn't want the opportunity to be judged.

"It can't be that bad," Amber says. "Come on. You haven't even kissed me hello yet."

You bite your lip. "I'm just nervous to kiss you with these," you mumble, still trying your best not to talk too much. "I dunno how to. It could scratch you or something."

Amber rolls her eyes. As if something that small would prevent her from kissing her girlfriend. She goes to playfully nudge your arm. "I'm tougher than that. Kissing you 'til I bleed sounds kinda fun, actually. Kinky."

You can't help but to smile at her playful tone. Amber made you forget that you were trying to keep your lips from parting too much. "I should've known you'd say that."

When you speak, Amber goes to hold your face in your hand, holding your jaw to keep your mouth open. "Ah, don't close 'em again. I wanna see!"

And well, you're a simp so you tend to do whatever your girlfriend wants. You feel your cheeks heat up as she studies you, your mouth pulled to a smile to show them to Amber.

"Cute. Pink," she notes. Amber tilts your jaw, looking at you from every angle. "You're always cute."

You avoid her gaze. When she has your face tilted back to look directly at her, relief flows over you when you can see she's being genuine. She likes it. She still thinks you're cute. "Shut up," you say, but you're smiling now.

"Is that all you were worried about, babe? Can I get a kiss from my girlfriend now?"

It's not like your nerves can go away with a few words. As much as she says it's OK now, you don't wanna ruin kissing her. You don't wanna scratch up those soft pillowy lips you love kissing so much. But still, Amber always gets what she wants. And if she thinks a little bit of blood would be hot, well so be it.

"Alright," you breathe out, weak to how she's cupping your face. "If you do it softly. Don't scratch yourself."

"Don't tell me what to do," is her jokey reply. Still, Amber closes the distance, pressing a soft and tentative (on your end, at least) kiss to your lips. You’re hyper-aware of the braces, but her kiss is gentle, careful, and all your fears of metal mishaps melt away. When she pulls back, she’s smiling, her eyes sparkling. “See? Not so bad, right?”

You laugh, feeling a weight lift off your shoulders. “Not bad at all.”

"Were you seriously nervous?" Amber laughs. She swats your arm, thinking you're ridiculous. "As if you could be anything but cute to me. Why would I care about some braces?"

"I dunno... You think the others will say anything?" you ask, of Amber's friends.

"They're not gonna laugh. And if they do, I'll knife em' in their sleep for ya. You know me, babe. I wouldn't let anyone make fun of my girl." Amber smirked, her trademark dark humour helping lighten the mood. She squeezes your thigh in a show of quick reassurance before going to do her seatbelt. "Now hurry up and take me out, I'm fucking starving."

[osamusbigtits]

it's an odd day for motoya. he's spending time with osamu and osamu alone. they haven't really gotten much one on one time. typically, suna is with them. suna is the one who brought motoya into the relationship.

but sitting here on the couch, watching a cheesy romcom with osamu, motoya wonders if he's doing it wrong. this whole dating his boyfriend's boyfriend thing.

osamu's been very involved with suna and motoya. and motoya never minds; in fact, he loves the added attention. he's gotten time alone with suna, for then to talk and explore and figure things out.

but motoya isn't quite sure where he stands with osamu.

motoya chances a glance over at the man. osamu sits casually, legs spread and an arm thrown on the back of the couch. he checks his phone with every occasional ping. motoya assumes there's a myriad of things osamu must worry about ranging from his restaurant to his twin brother.

motoya checks his phone to a rather apparent lack of notifications. he frowns.

osamu sits up and stretches. motoya shamelessly watches the flex of osamu's muscles and his eyes dart to osamu's tummy when his shirt lifts up and exposes the skin.

"hungry?" osamu asks.

motoya takes a moment to collect himself. "I could eat," he manages to reply.

osamu hums and stands up. "I'll whip us up something real quick, darling," he says and walks away. motoya's face flushes at the pet name.

motoya brings his focus back to the movie. he gets easily immersed in the story. he loves a good romcom, especially one where the main character is stuck in an internal battle of what man to choose.

"there's a clear answer," motoya mutters to himself as the main character hashes out her grievances to her best friend. "the one tried hitting on your best friend."

"you're so cute," a voice appears beside motoya, making him jump. osamu laughs. "sorry, didn't mean to scare you. here you go." he hands over a plate. some rice with some beef in a sauce.

motoya takes the plate happily, always excited to eat osamu's cooking. "nah, I'm just jumpy," motoya says, brushing osamu off.

motoya takes a bite of food and hums in pleasure as the flavors dance along his tongue. even something so simple can taste so good. it makes motoya a little jealous. his cooking skills extend to basic meals, mostly being able to heat up a frozen meal.

"that good?" osamu asks.

"I don't know how you do it," motoya mumbles, taking another bite. "but everything you make is heavenly," motoya finishes with a sigh.

osamu laughs, but when motoya sneaks a look over, he can see a faint blush on osamu's cheeks.

motoya hesitates. he should ask osamu about cooking, right? why does this feel worse than a first date?

"what got you into cooking?" motoya asks. he watches osamu as he continues to eat, hoping that it was a good question to ask.

osamu lights up. "my ma always brought me and tsumu into the kitchen. she thought cooking was an important skill, and it turned into sort of a hobby for me. in high school is when I really started to cook on my own and try to experiment," osamu rambles with a smile on his face.

"oh yeah! suna's talked about how you would make lunches for him."

osamu flushes. "yeah, my crush wasn't subtle."

motoya giggles. "still took suna a while to notice, didn't it?"

osamu smiles. "it did."

they lapse into silence. osamu continues eating peacefully, a small smile on his face. motoya sets his plate down and let's his mind wander.

"what are... I mean, how do you feel about... me?" motoya asks. he keeps his eyes firmly on the tv, even as he feels osamu peering at him.

osamu hums, taking a moment to think.

"I think you're cute and I do like the time we spend together." heat rushes to motoya's face at the simple compliments. "I wouldn't mind getting to know you better or even date you. but I want to put the ball in your court. yknow? I never want to force you into something you don't want."

motoya takes a moment to think. he plays with a loose thread on the couch.

"can we?" motoya asks and meets osamu's eyes. "date. I mean."

osamu searches motoya's eyes and for a moment, motoya wonders if he shouldn't have asked. but osamu smiles, soft and warm like the smiles he gives to suna. warmth rushes through motoya's chest.

"I would love to, sweetie," osamu murmurs. he reaches out and takes motoya's hand.

motoya relaxes. "thank god. I was a little scared you hated me and thought I was ruining your relationship," motoya admits.

osamu laughs and wraps an arm around motoya's shoulders. "please. rin and I don't need any help ruining our relationship. besides, you're too adorable to hate."

motoya weakly pushes osamu's shoulder. "you're too much."

motoya smiles as osamu kisses his cheek.

why didn't he do this sooner?

[pansyfemme]

i haven't even been following you for long so i have no idea what happened but you should be being pursued !!!! you are literally so gorgeous you're stunning every man should be so fucking lucky to even stand in ur presence ur actually perfect. screaming internally YOU'RE SO GORGEOUS have a lovely lovely night man

thank you thank you. i honestly. over complain about it. i have had people have interest in me, i’ve been in a couple relationships now, and a lot of flirtatious.. things? in between those. but it’s always been me being. forward and etc and sometimes i desire to be hit on and pursued rather than hit on and pursue people.. yknow? i am a forward guy and to be fully honest im pretty dominant too in those sorts of contexts but man. yeah sometimes i just want to be given flowers or asked on a date instead of doing the asking because. i have never really. been on the recieving end of that kind of gesture. it’s not that the relationships ive been in have been bad, far from it. but it’s just how they have been versus what I needed them to be.

I appriciate the praise greatly <3 I hope someday to have hot trans people barking at my feet lol.

[polyamorouspunk]

condoms have more uses than just covering a dick. you can use them for fingering, cut one up and you've got a dental dam (basically an outside condom for vaginas, mostly used for going down on someone with a vagina), keeping toys clean, they have a lot of ways you can use them.

do not mix use toys, keep your anal and vagina stuff seperate. silicone toys are the most body safe material out there, just don't use silicone lube with them otherwise they melt

speaking of lube, there's 3 main types of lube, water based, silicone based, and a mix between the two. water based dries up the quickest, but as mentioned in the previous point, doesn't cause toys to melt. you can also generally bring it back to lube-ness with a bit of spit or water. silicone is the slipperiest one, but it will react with other silicone based things and melt together and just not be a great time for anyone involved. mixed lube has benefits and drawbacks of both, again tho if toys are a thing for you and any partners involved it does do the reacting thing

douching is not recommended. both vaginally and anally it can cause internal rupturing, and cause issues with the balance of good bacteria in both areas

anal-wise, prepare for the possibility of poop. you're playing in poops house, accidents happen yknow? going to the bathroom a couple hours beforehand (if you can, and know you're gonna be doing anal related stuff later) is one of the better ways to minimise the odds of coming into contact, having a quick clean right before starting with tp or a shower also helps with the outside parts. numbing cream is also a big no go, discomfort and pain are usually good signs to follow to stop and avoid injuries

I think that's most of what I wanted to say that I haven't already seen, sorry it ended up being mostly negative things akaksjs

I don’t think it’s really negative so much as cautionary

[lingy910y]

Weekly Tag Wednesday

tagged by @doshiart, @mybrainismelted, @sgtmickeyslaughter, @gallapiech, @suzy-queued

@blue-disco-lights, and @mmmichyyy

name and ao3 handle: ling, lingy910y

current location: bedroom

favorite picrew (don't have one? you can skip this or do this one)? twisha's gallavich picrew hehe, i did doshi's too for good measure but idk why i got deja vu. maybe i did it before??

what's one thing you want in a picrew? a ponytail bc i never wear my hair down if i'm going somewhere

favourite thing you’ve created (or seen created) for the fandom?

my fav of my own work has to be Going Down Kicking

my fav thing i've seen created has to be fragile little fate: portrait of a marriage by siriusmickey

why is it your favorite?

i spent so much time researching writing tips cause i want to improve each time i write a fic yknow? and i had so much specific ideas going into it

cause of the amount of space it takes up in my brain. nobody was gonna write a divorce fic but they did and they did it well

did it come easily or was it hard to create?

i rly struggle with pacing :( when i write a fic i have some big ideas for plot points but once i've wrote them, i need to write how to get from point a to point b. but those parts seem so boring to me and they'll def be for the reader as well but if i delete them it might not flow well

last ao3 fic you commented on? guys i haven't been reading much fics :(

if art counts then a reply to gigi's art, Springtime Embrace

otherwise it's Re-boyfriending by @ms-moonlight-inn

biggest wip heartache you’ve ever experienced? refer back to my fav fic 🥲

favorite trope or head cannon you like included in a fanfic? hurt/comfort

least favorite? coffee shop aus 😬

secret or surprising kink or trope? guilt, like religious trauma or internalized homophobia or survivor's guilt. I'M EVEN EXPERIENCING GUILT WHILE ANSWERING THIS

describe how you feel after you’ve created something new? very proud but also don't want anything to do with it anymore. my heart pounds in my chest and i'm sweating bullets as i secretly check to see who has seen it </3

top hype man you have that always helps you get across the finish line: @jademickian

it's been a bad day, you turn to the fandom and you___? browse tumblr ofc

tagging @deedala, @heymrspatel, @burninface, @iansw0rld, @energievie

@reganmian and @creepkinginc

[sable-skies]

I wanna see some drama.

Rank the Chain from 'good boy' to 'MY SCRIMBLO. MY BLORBO. BRAIN PARASITE. LITTLE STINK MAN BABY BOY'

oh boy this is gonna be interesting.

okay okay so lets make a few things clear: I haven't played every zelda game, so my opinions on the boys are mostly based on vibes or my personal headcanons for them! For reference, I've played a lot of modern loz games, but not a lot of the old ones. so take my opinions with the biggest grain of salt :]

We'll go in ascending order of good boy to scrimblo, because i love the dramatics.

9. Good Lad - Time.

Okay, I'm so sorry to all the OoT and MM enjoyers out there, but I do not care for these games. I have no attachment to them, and growing up on the internet in the late 2000s and early 2010s, where everyone and their mom acted like OoT was the tits with fries, has forever kinda ruined my relationship with those games. I acknowledge what they did for the series, and that they're important for 3D Zelda's as a whole, but holy shit. People on the internet were OBNOXIOUS

That being said, I still love Time! I'm more attached to him via the Hero's Shade rather than his own games, but I still like him regardless. I don't have many thoughts on him though past enjoying that he acts like a perpetually old man. Yknow that one post thats like "hey grandpa." "THE WARRR" "okay." Thats him.

Overall, 10/10 lad, I enjoy him a lot and I feel like he'd be nice to me so we're even steven.

8. Gooder Lad - Warriors.

It's been so long since I've played Hyrule Warriors, and I never played its DLC because I was a poor teenager at the time, but I appreciate the captain a lot! He's only higher than Time because I've actually played his games, so a technicality really.

Otherwise I love this slightly arrogant but otherwise whole and good hearted fella, and I love it when people give him dragon imagery. I also like to think he might be the most normal guy out of the entire group, like he's got a 401K and a retirement organized back in his time, so when he talks to everyone else and learns that they're literally just wild children he's like "huh. hm."

7. Gooby Lad - Wind.

THE GROUP BABEY!! THE ITTY BITTY FELLA!! Love him, love him so much. It's been years since I played Wind Waker and I never played Phantom Hourglass, but I loved this guys whole 100+ personality and everything. And dude, his whole journey being one fueled by personal stakes to get his sister back? Love it, absolutely love it.

I like to think he's the group baby at 13, with Four being 14, and it pisses him off endlessly. He wants to grow up so he can be of use to everyone around him, but little does he know that everyone wants to protect him because they want him to enjoy his youth, not like the rest of them who lost it in some form or another. Overall, excellent lad.

6. Goodest Lad - Four.

Again, did not play this dude's games, but I read the Four Swords manga so I'm a bit more familiar with his whole vibe. Hell a couple of years ago I did a headcanon post on how he divides into four people (based on personality theories), and I like his depth because of it.

I also love how he's probably given too much responsibility because of his maturity within the group, he's still a kid but because he acts a lot older sometimes the others just kinda forget. I also like to think that when he's having an internal/emotional issue he'll write up a note, split himself, and let the four figure it out. they'll find the note and it says some shit like "20 minutes. Figure it out. (please)"

Also he's excellent material for the burnt out gifted child. Love that for him.

5. The slightest of scrimblo - Hyrule

THIS DUDEEEE a few years ago I kinda dipped back into LU for a bit and found this artist that made some fucking like. renaissance shit for him and that's what unlocked my love for this dude. Unfortunately, I cannot remember the artist so i must live with the memory.

I really like how alone he was in his journey, how he only had the land and nature itself to guide him and offer comfort. Love how when he enters a bigger group he has to learn how to work in that setting, alongside maybe come out of his wilderness tended shell. Also I like to think that his possible fae traits make him a bit more uncanny than people realize.

4. A bit more blorbo - Sky

Eepy guy (just like me FRRR), overall fatigued but still kind hearted fella, I love it. I loved his game (fuck you Arin Hansen /j), and I love the personal stakes he has in that game as well. It's actually the only LoZ game that makes me a ZeLink truther, because otherwise I'm neutral on it.

What I also enjoy about him a lot is the untapped terrifying energy he could have. He's a god-killer, Hylia's Chosen Hero, he may not show it a lot, but I think he has the potential to really fuck some shit up but chooses kindness. I would love to write something someday where he's forced to choose otherwise.

But yeah squishy soft guy oh my goodness wubwuwbuwbuwbwubwb :33333

3. Blorbo parasitism - Wild.

The first parasite. The first brainworm on this list. I need to get an anti-parasite antibiotic.

OBVIOUSLY all the angst and buildup from his games is so much fun. I love when he has an internal crisis of going back to who he was 100 years ago, a quiet and burdened knight, or allowing himself to remain free-spirited and a bit deranged that his new life has given him. It's such a fun dynamic. And of course, I love his bond with Twilight. I think he needs someone to set him on the right path every once in awhile.

I also like to think he has a subtle undead quality to him. Similar to his mentor, something is inherently wrong with him on a spiritual or magical level, but that's for later. (maybe)

2. The ultimate stink - Twilight.

THE GUY!!! MY FAVORITE GUY!! No matter what he will always be the number 1 Link incarnation in my heart. I love him so much and when things get rough I just gotta be like "Twilight wouldn't want this for me" and keep on fuck it we ballin.

The untapped ANGST and TRAUMA from his journey drives me insane, I literally could write a whole essay about the shit he endured and how that must have affected him. I wanna write something one day about it but alas, perpetually tired, and I'm nervous about my writing so wheh.

Also I like to think he's horror adjacent. Don't ask me why, I couldn't tell you, but he has the same vibe as the dog from The Thing (1982) to me and I love that for him.

Actual fucking war criminal parasite in my head GET OUT GET OUT GET OUTTTT - Legend.

UGH this fucker. Who let this guy in???? Kill him, smasha with rock.

But on a serious note, while I finished his games (only really played ALBW), the depth he has from those adventures intrigues me endlessly. I love his bitter exterior yet still warm and kind heart, I love characters who act mean but are genuinely good deep down, they just need time to show it.

Also something possesses me when I draw him that makes him look so much more cunty than he actually is and I don't know what it is. I'm sorry for this, I cannot fight what the universe is clearly telling me to do.

He only outrights Twilight rn, because otherwise he would switch places with him. For now he's in my head and I'm shining sunlight on him through a magnifying glass like he's an ant on the pavement. Something Will Happen To Him if I have anything to say about it.

[ohbo-ohno]

Pls tell us your greys anatomy thoughts I’m also currently rewatching it and need to know your thought on the characters, relationships and stuff 👀

babe i'd give you my LIFE for asking me this question

okay so i've seen up to season 15 before but that was yearrssss ago, so this rewatch (only up to s7 rn) lowkey feels like a first watch-through again

callie and arizona are the best ship, followed by mark and lexie IF THEY WERE ALLOWED TO BE TOGETHER!!! (jo and alex are up there with best ships but i haven't re-met them yet)

derek and meredith are one of the best couples BUT only once they're married and they let meredith's character growth actually stick (so like s6 on)

the show is 100x better when they don't feel the need to (a) insert meredith into every single plotline (b) make sure meredith is the victim in some way, or at least someone else is worse than her

richard's obsession with ellis is actually really creepy and meredith should go to hr lmao (adele why the FUCK didn't you leave that man)

izzie stevens (raised in a trailer park, teenage mom, modeled lingerie to get through college) would HAAAATE cristina yang (raised in beverly hills, no student loans even with an ivy league education and a phd). at least at first

yknow first time i watched this show i remember actually liking owen but ??? im finding that so impossible to imagine now lmfao????

cristina is a really well-written character when they let her be appropriately flawed, but i haaate her relationship plots with owen. like there is NOTHING about her relationship with owen that i buy

((also tw anti-cristina rhetoric but they glossed over the whole "cristina fucks her bosses to get ahead" thing reaaaal quick lmao? wdym she fucked her professor for more hands-on training then started sleeping with an attending as an intern and constantly got him to give her better surgeries?? like sorry but you're not convincing me that characters like alex don't haaaate her))

the shooting episode remains undefeated. sarah drew (april) is better in those two episodes then ellen pompeo (meredith) is in the entire show imo

greys' tendency to fade characters into nothingness before they leave is genuinely so fucking annoying and a MASSIVE!! flaw in the show (george, izzie, lexie, mark, even reed and percy to some extent..... im tired)

[sophieinwonderland]

thinking about this after reading the the ask about whether hearing an internal voice in your thoughts is normal:

peronally, it happens to me *quite* often that my thoughts will be formatted in an internal dialogue kind of way way. Like, rather than just asking myself questions and answering them I'll be doing something and an "internal voice" will chime in with their opinion on it, and we'll have a discussion with opposing points

random example

"you need to drink more water, yknow?"

"I'm fine, I drink plenty of water at work"

"that doesn't mean you don't have to drink water on your off days ? tf??"

"dude, I'm literally fine"

"go drink water."

"ugh alright fine I'm going"

To be clear, this really doesn't feel like I'm just deliberating. It feels like I have my own opinion and somebody else disagrees and feels the need to voice it.

Sometimes it's meaner and sometimes it's legitimately uplifting. There are also times I feel like I'm an entirely different person, but I do experience life as a continuous existence. Faulty as my memory may be, I experience no blackout periods.

Dunno how long it's been that way tbh and I'm thinking I may be a monocon median system. But yeah, just thought I'd share my experience with what my internal "monologue" is like

-🌦️

That's interesting! Thanks for sharing your experiences!

That interaction indeed sounds very plural. In the interest of fairness, I'll mention that it's not impossible that you just frame your inner monologue as a dialogue. I think what you really want to look out for to know for sure if this plural is if these voices have a perspective and a sense of self outside of your own.

The example you gave is of one conversation, but what happens to the voice after that? Does it only exist in the moment, or will it exist and be able to refer back to the conversation later?

Could the same voice ask you later if you're feeling better, or give an "I told you so" when they're proven right.

And if you haven't noticed if they're like this or not, you should try asking the next time you talk to one of these voices if you've spoken to them before, ask when you've talked to them, and then see what happens.

[incorrectshantaequotes]

Shantae Headcanons - Couples/Romance

So! This is a bit different! Currently, I'm trying to get my writer brain back in gear (or more accurately get it focused on Shantae) so I can finish up that Halloween fic that is very late right now, and I tend to find that my writer brain is far more stimulated when I write down these headcanon posts. So, naturally, I got to thinking about what to write a headcanon post about, and I figured, "hey! romance is a fairly good topic!"

The only issue with that is, well...as any long-time followers of this blog will know, aside from Shantops and Skylo (and also Twitchegar but they're fairly minor characters so yknow), which are fairly locked in as my headcanons at this point, I don't really have any solid headcanons for couples. Even with some couples that make frequent appearances on this blog, I'm willing to go for different options if it's submitted or if it'd make a particular quote that much funnier. And, honestly? I do not see that changing as I write these down.

...buuuuuuuuut that isn't going to stop me from writing down headcanons regarding what these characters are seeking out in a relationship! And also writing down how the dynamics for a character's various options would work out. So, with that in mind, let's hop to it!

NOTE: EXTREMELY LONG POST UP AHEAD. Like I say that a lot but good god this is a long one. I thought I ran into a text limit like twice and for good reason. You've been warned

Shantae/Rottytops

Starting strong with the fan favorite half-genie and zombie couple...when it comes to who started crushing on who first, obviously, Rottytops was first, like, right from the get-go - with her initial internal thought of "oh hey this girl's cute" rapidly spiraling into "I would propose to her on the spot without hesitation." Shantae, meanwhile, only started reciprocating around Pirate's Curse, but while she might not show it as blatantly or as frequently as Rotty, she is equally down bad for the zombie.

I imagine Rottytops as something of a casual flirt - before she met Shantae, during the games themselves, and even after they've gotten together to some extent! She enjoys getting a rise out of people, and flirting with them is both fairly simple and something she doesn't mind doing. She's definitely had a few relationships before Shantae, but nothing particularly serious. All of which is to say that, when she started having actual, deep, serious feelings for Shantae, Rotty had absolutely zero frame of reference, which was both frightening and incredibly exciting at the same time.

Rotty's exact reasons as to why she's so attracted to Shantae are...basically what's stated in-game, but to dig deeper into it, it's that right from the start, Shantae has looked at Rotty - a zombie girl who introduced herself by trying to eat Shantae's brains, a known trickster who wasn't that well-liked even among her fellow zombies, and who Shantae has no reason to trust or have any faith in, especially right after Risky's Revenge - and saw someone who could do better. Someone with potential to do good. Granted, that sentiment was initially expressed as frustrated disappointment, but even then Rotty was dumbfounded once she absorbed the implications of that. Even her brothers haven't expressed that kind of faith in her...more because they think she's fine as is than anything, but still! And while her initial reaction was to try and cling to that bit of faith before what she felt to be an inevitable loss of it, eventually, Rotty decided to take up the hard task of actually improving herself, and doing good, showing Shantae that that tiny bit of faith wasn't misplaced. And that one change in philosophy really made all the difference.

As for what draws Shantae to Rotty...well, after she realized that Rotty was never really malicious, and just trying to connect with her the only way she knew how, she naturally started viewing her a lot more charitably. And it was with that fresh perspective that she started noticing a few things. Like, for instance, how adventurous Rotty is. Daring. Bold. Everyone else Shantae knows tends to think at least a little bit before they say something, but Rotty is never afraid to speak her mind. She is loud, outspoken, and everything Shantae can't - refuses, really - let herself be, and as someone who's always at least a little worried about presenting herself as an ideal hero, a shining beacon to look to and inspire, there's something very appealing about a girl who just. Doesn't give a shit about any of that. And what really did it for Shantae is just how outspoken Rotty is regarding her. Rottytops has seen some of the aspects Shantae views least charitably about herself, mainly her temper, and in spite of it all, Rotty sees the world in her - and as the queen of self-esteem issues (even if most of them were ironed out post-Pirate's Curse), there's something very awe-inspiring about that to Shantae. Especially as Rottytops became more of an ally, her mind just...she had to wonder. Consider the possibilities. Something about the prospect of getting closer to Rotty got her heart racing, and yet- Rotty would have said something if she felt the same, right? Did she really want to risk losing it all?

Then Seven Sirens happened, and as Shantae and her friends were heading home, her mind happened to wander back to the moment where she encountered "Fillin" in her cage, and without the stress of dealing with the Sirens getting in the way, she then properly processed...literally everything in that scene, and that was when it clicked for Shantae that, "oh. OH. I don't think either of us are normal about this, actually." That was what finally compelled Shantae to confess, because, well...even if she was wrong, after all the shenanigans Rotty went through to get in just because she thought she might not be invited, she was fairly certain a love confession wouldn't get her to leave. And she was right on that front! Very, very right.

Their exact relationship hasn't overtly changed that much on Rotty's end, it's just that Rotty's turned her more subtle flirting into something significantly more blatant. She loves showering Shantae with affection, both physical and emotional, both because she feels Shantae deserves more of it and because she enjoys how easy it is to fluster Shantae with her flirting. She's also made more of a habit to let Shantae in on her schemes, which Shantae appreciates since it helps avoid another Fillin incident - not to mention, it lets her help Rotty be more reasonable with her schemes, pull her back when she might be going too far or redirecting her efforts if she thinks they might be a bit much...and, on the occasion that one of Rotty's schemes is perfectly fine and harmless, give Shantae a chance to lend a helping hand. Never let it be said that she doesn't have a mischievous side to her.

As for Shantae, she doesn't have nearly as much dating experience as Rotty does, so while she'll gladly return the favor when it comes to giving her affection, she doesn't do it to quite the same frequency as Rotty does, at least in public - partially because some irrational part of Shantae's brain is worried about doing too much, partially because Shantae personally likes to be a bit more deliberate with her affection. When in private, however, she's willing to get very intimate in a way that Rotty's previous relationships have not prepared her for in the slightest. She'll hold her close, whisper sweet nothings in her ear, slowly run her hands through Rotty's hair and down her back...and, honestly, Shantae would be lying if she said that there wasn't any appeal in flustering Rotty just as much as she can fluster her.

Rottytops personally gets a bit thrilled about the idea of Shantae having a darker side to her - I mean, just look at her initial reaction to Nega Shantae in Friends to the End - and it's a subject that comes up rather frequently in her more wild fantasies. Though, if push were to come to shove...she fell in love with Shantae for her kind and caring nature, and ultimately, Rotty prefers Shantae as she is. Although she'd never publicly admit it. She has a reputation to maintain as a bad influence, after all! That being said, Shantae is a lot more willing to play ball than you might think, at least in private, and has a few ideas of her own that she'd be far too embarrassed to try with anyone else, much to Rottytops' delight.

The most anyone else knows about that last part is when, one time, Rotty was walking home with about two dozen obvious bite marks and a dopey smile on her face, and Sky felt the need to stop her because she was worried that Rotty had run into a pack of feral zombies. She did not understand why Rottytops burst out laughing until she brought it up with Shantae and the half-genie went about as red as her outfit, muttering that she didn't think it was THAT obvious...at which point, Sky resolutely decided to never ask about Shantae and Rotty's private life. Ever.

Sky/Bolo

Moving on to our OTHER main protagonists...Sky and Bolo, despite being the only two characters who actively pursue romantic relationships in the games, have somehow never caught on that a potential romantic relationship with the potential to fill both of their needs is right there, and I imagine it takes them a little while longer for either of them to catch onto that little fact yet...as in, several months after Shantae and Rottytops have officially begun dating longer. I internally like calling this ship "Three Feet in Front of You" after the famous Mulan bit of "You missed! How could you miss, it was three feet in front of you!", because if that isn't a perfect summary of their relationship up until they actually start dating, I don't know what is.

I'm not going to get into how they start dating because I have an entire fic about that - a fic which I really need to get to writing the other three chapters for at some point - but the tl;dr is that Rottytops, tired of waiting for them to get their heads out of their asses, decided to play matchmaker, and while said plan...didn't quite work the way she intended, it DID ultimately help get them together, albeit in a very roundabout way.

Both Sky and Bolo are bisexual. For Bolo, it was more of a quiet "huh" realization, with a very casual acceptance and slight change in lifestyle, but nothing particularly groundbreaking for him. Probably realized it before the events of the games, even. Sky, on the other hand...as I've said before, I imagine she was repressed for a WHILE on account of her parent's pressure, so she just assumed she was straight because she did experience attraction to men, and it wasn't like her parents would accept any other option. right? Or so she assumed. So, what exactly got Sky to realize she was bisexual? ...Rottytops. It was Rottytops. And that is a secret she fully intends on taking to her grave - no pun intended - because she knows Rotty would never let her live it down if she knew.

That being said, Rottytops was not Sky's first sapphic crush, at least beyond anything superficial. This is going to slightly spoil that fic I mentioned earlier whenever I DO get to finishing that second chapter, but that honor actually goes to Harmony - Rotty's plan to get Sky and Bolo together involved using Harmony to inspire jealousy in Sky, but what happened instead was that Sky quickly found herself to be incredibly attracted to the half-genie, and ended up asking her out. The relationship was short-lived, but they're on good terms, and Sky has entertained the idea of opening up her and Bolo's relationship and bringing Harmony in...but it'd take a while for her to bring up that possibility to Bolo, both because she'd want to get a good feel for what a stable, long-term relationship feels like before potentially shaking it up, and because Sky feels incredibly guilty about how she acted back then, even with Harmony being understanding, and it'd take a long time for that guilt to fade. Everyone agrees that Harmony was a significantly better choice than Barracuda Joe and Armor Baron, though.

Sky has a very specific type that pretty much all of her romantic endeavors fall under. She looks for someone who's...responsible. Someone grounded. Strong, both in a physical and metaphorical sense, someone she feels she can entrust her life to and be safe with. Barracuda Joe counted as a high-ranking lieutenant in the Ammonian Army who plays the straight man to Ammo Baron's over-the-top antics, Armor Baron...was at least able to act the part as a trusted authority figure in Armor Town up until he pulled out the rug from under her with his enchanted armor, Harmony goes without saying, and even if he can be a bit dense sometimes, Bolo was the one who taught Shantae how to fight, and he was shown to act as a babysitter for a bunch of zombie kids, so he can clearly be responsible if the situation calls for it. Bolo, meanwhile, is a lot less picky, more just looking for someone who appreciates him for who he is and doesn't automatically write him off as some meathead, and Sky is more than happy to oblige on that front.

Another criteria for Sky's romantic partners that Harmony accidentally introduced is "do Sky's birds like them?" Both Harmony and Bolo pass this criteria with flying colors, with Sky's birds absolutely adoring Harmony, and Bolo being the only human besides Sky who they trust and can really handle them. This has been a major relief for Sky, as she can often worry about how her birds are handling things without her whenever she leaves for an extended period of time, so having someone she can trust to keep an eye on them is...nice! Especially considering how both Shantae and Rottytops swear that Sky's birds are demons in disguise after one extended babysitting session. She had no idea they could get that agitated just from her not being there.

Sky and Bolo aren't the most physically affectionate couple, especially compared to Shantae and Rottytops, but that's more because they just show their affection in significantly different ways. For Sky, that comes in the form of meticulous planning, though she's thankfully toned it down to a much more reasonable level from the control freak/"planning their marriage after only a few hours" level of planning shown in Pirate's Curse. In Sky's eyes, the best way to show her love to Bolo is to give him the perfect date, or the perfect gift, and the level of planning and scheming she will do to achieve that is enough to impress even Rottytops. Bolo, meanwhile, is the more physically affectionate of the two, but for the most part his love tends to come in the form of gifts, whether it be traditional things like flowers and chocolates to the significantly less conventional when he puts his metalworking skills to good use. Sky actually finds herself more interested in the latter than the former, because Bolo's fairly good at doing metal sculptures - even if the finer details can escape him - and she's found herself far more entranced by the level of love and heart he puts into them than any of the traditional gifts she used to daydream about. It's a surprise for both of them, but it works.

Sky's always supported Bolo and helped with his insecurities, but now that she's DATING him, that support has become a lot more vocal. She's formed an unofficial alliance with Rottytops with the mutual sentiment of "if anyone talks shit about either of our partners we will beat them to death," and the intensity of this alliance is honestly a bit frightening for both Bolo and Shantae, but at the same time extremely flattering for both of them.

Risky Boots

This section is going to be a lot shorter than the other ones, because, well...I don't really ship Risky with anyone? And the amount of people she CAN be shipped with is very slim, especially considering that she is absolutely a lesbian in my mind and there is no budging on that front. It also doesn't help that romantic relationships require a lot of emotional vulnerability and getting Risky to be emotionally vulnerable in any capacity is like pulling teeth through a maze made entirely of knifes and trying not to get a single scratch. Buuuuuut, she IS the main antagonist of the franchise, and I have thought over a few options before, so getting into those now...

Risky/Empress Siren: AKA the "hand in unlovable hand" route. Noooooooot even remotely healthy for either party but it's definitely an option! In this case, I imagine the relationship springs up relatively naturally after Seven Sirens - Empress Siren survives, pulls herself together like I've described in my previous Siren headcanon posts...and at some point, her mind wanders to Risky. The treacherous pirate who hoodwinked her, keeping her just out of reach of pure ultimate power, and ultimately equally responsible for her downfall as that accursed half-genie...but. She's cunning, incredibly vicious, has a lofty ambition, and isn't exactly bad on the eyes, either - all of which are traits Empress Siren can admire and approve of. So, compared to Shantae, who she just actively wants dead, Empress views Risky both as a respectable and worthy rival AND as a potential romantic prospect. She either wants to kill Risky in a climactic battle or to have her as a consort when she launches her reign over the world; they're interchangeable to Empress, really, and either way she WILL openly flirt with Risky...though, exactly what Empress Siren considers flirting is not quite what most people would consider flirting.

Naturally, Risky is not at all enthusiastic about this, for a multitude of reasons - Empress Siren is vile even by her standards, she doesn't appreciate being viewed as some sort of prize, and she's still a bit pissed about the whole "stealing her body" stunt. Yes, she expected Empress Siren to betray her in advance and made sure to prepare properly, but she wasn't expecting it to happen it like THAT! ...But. As much as she hates to admit it, Empress Siren is a formidable opponent, and her twisted affections are one of the few weaknesses she can readily and easily exploit, so sometimes it's more practical to just suck it up and play into it, if only so she can get the upper hand. And if she has the occasional fantasy of a better world - one where Empress Siren isn't an egomaniacal ex-tyrant to make the Pirate Master proud, one where she's interested in Risky for who she is rather than what she has to offer her, one where Risky could, just maybe, have a partner who wouldn't be scared of her reputation or her many, many enemies, one who could keep up with Risky in a fight and on the sea, one who she could share her self-proclaimed throne as the Queen of the Seven Seas with? Well, that's none of Empress Siren's business. Even if sometimes those fantasies are the only way Risky can manage to lock lips with the siren without giving the game away. ESPECIALLY considering that, actually.

Risky/Giga Mermaid: If you want an actually HEALTHY relationship for Risky that's also at least somewhat feasible...Giga Mermaid. This sounds like a crack ship and I can't really blame you if you think that but let me explain my reasoning here. As I sorta went into near the end of the Risky/Empress Siren section there, on top of literally ALL the aforementioned issues I mentioned before, I imagine Risky would have a few...concerns about how her lifestyle would affect the life of any potential romantic partner. Empress Siren side steps all of those concerns and would be PERFECT if not for her entire personality being a red flag in and of itself, but Giga Mermaid also manages to avoid most of the concerns Risky would have. Intimidated by Risky's reputation? Well, she's giant, so I imagine that not a lot actually intimidates her to begin with, and besides that Risky saved Giga Mermaid in Pirate Queen's Quest, marking her as one of the few people Risky has actually been nice to and meaning she actually has reason to see Risky in a positive light. Risky's enemies? After Techno Baron kidnaps her twice, Giga Mermaid would definitely invest in better security, and with her size and at least some magic she can hold her own in a fight when she's actually thinking straight. Risky being at sea most of the time isn't an issue for someone who's naturally aquatic, either. The only real potential issue is how Giga Mermaid would react to Risky's ambition, as well as one on Giga Mermaid's side: her reputation as a ruler. Oh, and also how they would even meet up again, but I have that covered.

The way I'm envisioning this would start is fairly simple: Risky's out on the sea, figuring out her next plan after Seven Sirens, and she finds that resources on her ship are running low, so she elects to head to a nearby island for a quick and quiet supply run...only for Giga Mermaid to suddenly emerge from the water and stop the ship in its tracks. After a bit of outraged raving from Risky, Giga Mermaid very calmly explains that the island Risky's trying to head to is currently home to a secret but very IMPORTANT meeting between a bunch of major political powers, meaning that the island is currently armed to the teeth. That gets Risky to shut up real fast. Right now, that island is a death trap for any criminal there, let alone one so infamous as Risky. Even with a disguise she'd get figured out pretty quickly with so many on the look out for potential miscreants who might want to crash the party, and she can't exactly go on the offensive with her supplies being low...so Giga Mermaid gives her a simple offer: she'll give Risky that favor Risky insisted she owed her for saving her life back then, stowing Risky and her crew away somewhere secret and away from prying eyes until the meeting is done in a few days. It burns at Risky's pride a bit, but she really doesn't have any other option that ends in her favor, so she takes Giga Mermaid up on that offer.

Once Giga Mermaid settles her and the Tinkerbats in, Risky initially assumes that it's going to be a quiet couple of days without much to do, except...as the sun begins to set on the first day, Giga Mermaid shows up, done with the meeting for the day, and just. Talks to her. Initially she tries to ask about Risky in an attempt to understand her more, which naturally results in Risky dodging those questions like the plague, but the pirate ends up opening up more the second day when Giga Mermaid comes in steaming and vents about some of the politicians she had to deal with, inadvertently revealing more about herself in the process. This continues on as the days go by, with Risky gradually becoming more comfortable with Giga Mermaid, up until the sixth and final day of Risky's stay, where she can tentatively call Giga Mermaid a friend...and, possibly, a bit more in her dreams. But she's also sure it won't last. And when all the other political parties leave, and Risky is finally able to get her supplies, she bids Giga Mermaid what she assumes to be a final farewell, because she isn't giving up being the Queen of the Seven Seas for anyone, not even for royalty, and having a friendly relationship with a pirate has to be a breaking point for her, if just because of her reputation...only to abruptly have those assumptions thrown out the window when Giga Mermaid bluntly informs her that she doesn't care what wild assumptions people might make about her for hanging out with a pirate, and for that matter she isn't going to fight Risky on her ambition either.

Naturally, Giga Mermaid's blunt confession confuses Risky to the point where she gets right in her face and asks if she's lost her mind. Giga Mermaid admits that, while she does have a few issues with Risky's choice of career, she can acknowledge that Risky is her own woman and she can't exactly STOP her. She does, however, have one suggestion: speaking from her experience dealing with other politicians and her own royal court, there are quite a few corrupt nobles out there. Ones that people probably wouldn't miss if they were gone…and also happen to have quite the mass of wealth to their name. If Risky shifts targets from large towns to those few nobles, she'll get just as much, if not MORE than she did before, and still maintain her fearsome reputation as Queen of the Seven Seas without anyone questioning her too much. It'd just be that who fears her the most would be a bit, ah, shifted, is all. And…Risky has to admit that she raises a valid point. Incredibly valid, actually. Some could accuse her of becoming soft, sure, but those voices wouldn't be quite so bold with a sword at their throat. The only real potential protestor to all this would really be herself. And while that's not enough to sway her completely…Risky does say she'll think on it.

And so, the unlikely friendship carries on, albeit meeting in secret - more at Risky's insistence than Giga Mermaid's - with Risky gradually leaning more into morally gray territory rather than being an outright villain as she speaks more and more with Giga Mermaid, even if she'd never admit it. And then - it happens. Risky doesn't know what prompts it. Maybe it's being at sea with no one to interact but the Tinkerbats for a while, maybe it's the way Giga Mermaid laughs when she regales the queen with the tale of how she utterly humiliated a major noble - one who, coincidentally, happened to give Giga Mermaid a lot of trouble during that fateful political meeting - or maybe it's just because she's wanted to do it for a while, but during one of their meetings, Risky ends up kissing Giga Mermaid. Just a simple peck on the tip of the queen's nose, nothing more, but it's still enough to get Risky to freeze up, internally reprimand herself because what is she DOING, and immediately start barking out half-baked threats to keep Giga Mermaid from mentioning the incident to anyone…which all promptly fall short in the face of the surprised, but sly smile on Giga Mermaid's face. She wasn't EXPECTING for Risky to feel that way towards her, but she isn't complaining, and casually mentions that there's a spell she uses whenever she has to go to a political meeting not in her own kingdom, and therefore not built for her size, that she'd like to show Risky next time they meet. Confused, but mostly just relieved that Giga Mermaid isn't going to say anything, Risky agrees to see the spell. Cut to a few days later, when something suddenly stops Risky's ship. She instinctively looks around to see if she can spot Giga Mermaid…only to hear her clear her throat at a considerably quieter volume than usual. Risky turns around to see the Giga Mermaid at a more human size with the slightest of smirks and a raised eyebrow. Turns out, that's the spell - something that shrinks Giga Mermaid down to a more manageable size, if only for a few hours. And that's when she gives Risky another offer: a true, proper kiss this time. Risky takes the deal without any hesitation.

OKAY. Risky/Giga Mermaid scenario over. So, what relationship could possibly top that? …honestly, nothing; that scenario ended up being more intensive than I expected, but! Anyway, for the last Risky ship, I have one quick offering: Risky/Squidsmith. This one is definitely a crackship since the two haven't even interacted, but it IS pretty funny to me because, if you don't already know, I headcanon Squidsmith to be Bolo's mom, as detailed here. So the way I imagine this working is that Risky ends up walking into a bar where the Squidsmith is at after a long day of work. And in a brilliant moment that shows exactly where her son got his denseness from, she proceeds to not recognize Risky at all and casually flirt with her. Risky attempts to dissuade her, but Squidsmith is insistent, and eventually…Risky sighs, deciding to humor the woman and stay at her temporary home for her work for the night. And then that night goes very well for her, so when Risky happens to run into Squidsmith again…she a bit more easily persuaded this time. And the next time. And the next time. And the next time…and all the while, Squidsmith STILL doesn't connect the dots, and does not until word eventually spreads to Shantae via Bolo and she promptly realizes just who Bolo's mom has been dating. Naturally, hilarity ensues.

The Half Genies

So! Onto the half-genies! These four tend to be subject to the whole "whoever I ship is subject to whatever would be funniest" phenomenon the most frequently, since I don't really have any particular ships in mind for them. There's still more to talk about than Risky, though...which, uh, might not QUITE be the right thing to say considering how long that Risky/Giga Mermaid section ended up being. Hopefully I don't have to break up the list this time.

Starting with a half-genie I've already mentioned - and have notably more solid headcanons for - Harmony! I've only very briefly mentioned it before in a different post, but I firmly think she's asexual, though still open to romantic relationships of the sapphic variety. There's a certain level of irony to this because Harmony is also built like an Amazon, and there are a lot of people who find her attractive...and Harmony, through a combination of the aforementioned asexuality and just not having a lot of social interaction to go off of, has been completely oblivious to this up until recently. Up until she was used for the set up for Rottytops' plan to get Sky and Bolo together that ended up resulting in her briefly dating Sky, to be precise. It was her first experience being in a romantic relationship, and even if it wasn't exactly perfect by any stretch, Harmony still thinks of it fondly. If Sky were to approach her with the prospect of including her in Sky and Bolo's relationship, she'd be more than happy to say yes.

Harmony is actually fairly similar to Shantae when it comes to romantic relationships - she may be incredibly confident in herself, with a lot of experience in defending her town, being a leader, and keeping a calm and level-headed demeanor, but a romantic relationship is still a relatively new and exciting prospect for her, so she can be a bit nervous, especially in public settings. To be quite honest, though, she doesn't mind. It's actually part of the appeal of a romantic relationship to her, that she's so incredibly new to the whole thing and vulnerable in a way she normally isn't. Harmony takes her duties as a Guardian Genie very seriously, making herself a pillar of strength and self-confidence that others can look up to and depend on...but that doesn't mean that Harmony doesn't want some support herself, sometimes. And sure, with the Half-Genie festival she's gotten some friends who are more than willing to help in that regard, and she's very thankful for it, but- part of what appeals so much about a romantic relationship to Harmony is the prospect of someone who she can always trust to have her back when it all gets to be a bit too much. Someone she can trust to protect her at her weakest, and someone she can protect in turn. It's part of what made Sky so appealing to her - she'd heard how Sky helped Shantae through some of her lowest moments, and then seeing Sky with her birds, being so gentle and caring and kind...she may not have been the one to ask for a relationship, but she accepted it incredibly quick.

With all that being said, I, uh. Don't really have anyone I ship with Harmony besides the whole "did previously date Sky"/"would be open to a Sky/Bolo/Harmony polycule" thing. Like, I see a lot of people attracted to Harmony, sure, but not so much in a romantic relationship with her. In all honesty besides the polycule scenario I think Harmony's best romantic option would probably be a civilian? Which we don't really have any particularly stand-out examples of, so...yeah. I did have a fic idea for where Harmony strikes it up with that one zombie tourist girl NPC we see in Seven Sirens, though. Unfortunately I do not remember any of the details in the slightest so you'll have to get back to me on that one.

Getting to the other three...the two most prominent ships involving them are here are Zapple/Vera and Plink/Vera, and while I still don't plan on locking down a solid headcanon for which one I'd go with...I will say that, at least in the early days of the blog, I tended to lean more towards Zapple/Vera, but I have been seeing the appeal of Plink/Vera these days. So, getting into those ships now-

With Zapple/Vera, I imagine the dynamic doesn't really change much from the one I've given them as friends. Zapple is similar to Rottytops in that she can be a bit of a troublemaker, but whereas Rottytops just loves causing problems on purpose, in Zapple's case it's moreso because she has at least five different conspiracies in her head at all times and doesn't fear god. Vera's used to this just from knowing Zapple for so long, but dating her ratchets up the intensity somehow just because her dating ideas really aren't too different from the multitude of times she's gone "hey Vera you know what would be a cool idea" or went "Vera there's no time to explain we need to commit arson." You can never say a date Zapple plans is a dull one, that's for sure. But she's also a lot more...attentive to Vera than before. She's always known Zapple cares, willing to help her with any problem that arises and helping lift her spirits with her dry sense of humor and sheer enthusiasm, but now she pays attention to Vera's physical and mental health with the same paranoid intensity she gives her various conspiracies, declaring herself Vera's medic and fussing over the smallest things in a way that Vera finds both hilarious and heartwarming. As for Vera's side of things...again, it's similar to before, where she acts as a grounding presence for Zapple both in terms of her more adventurous ideas and her wild conspiracies, it's just that it's gotten notably easier - partially because Zapple is more willing to listen to her, and partially because Vera's found that any sort of physical intimacy makes Zapple's brain short circuit, and she's more than willing to take advantage of that if it keeps Zapple from staying up all night with a conspiracy board.

As for Plink/Vera...while the two might PHYSICALLY be far apart, when you have friends with teleportation magic, any given "long distance" relationship becomes a lot easier to manage, and this one would be no exception. Vera's taken a liking to showing Plink some of the natural wonders of Siren Island she never got around to seeing during her brief stay with the Half-Genie Fesitval, and seeing her eyes light up with delight at whatever Vera shows her is always worth a smile in her eyes. Plink, meanwhile, doesn't come up with the date ideas that often, but when she does, they're always spectacular. One particularly memorable moment in their relationship for both Plink and Vera is when Plink took Vera up a grassy hill late one night, refusing to elaborate what for to avoid spoiling the surprise, sitting her down, and then using her magic to let Vera see what was effectively the supernatural equivalent of an aurora borealis, with equally fantastical sights and colors to be seen. Both of them are also fairly physically intimate, with Vera being especially so when Plink is distressed, holding her close to calm her down. Meanwhile, Plink will give Vera hugs and hold hands with her often, but can be a bit nervous to take it beyond that. Doesn't mean she hasn't, though. Overall, just a particularly nice relationship...nothing crazy, but neither Vera nor Plink mind that at all.

Slightly breaking the mold and going back to Zapple here - ever since I've written my updated Siren headcanons post, which I linked earlier in Risky's section, one ship idea involving Zapple that showed up out of nowhere but has grown on me is Zapple/Octo Siren. Again, this makes more sense if you read that headcanon post, so I recommend you read that, but anyway…after all the Sirens are redeemed, I imagine Octo Siren just. Lives in Zapple's house now. They threw her in there when they kidnapped her for her own good, and she sees zero reason to leave after the fact. I stand by this regardless of whether they'd be in a romantic relationship or not, but it also happens to make for a great starting point for one! Because, as mentioned earlier, Zapple's brain short circuits with physical intimacy, and pretty much all of the Seven Sirens have zero sense of personal space. Which, well. Zapple DID catch onto that a bit with Lobster Siren, but she just figured that she didn't get out much and shrugged it off. It was only when the dust settled and everyone could let out a sigh of relief that she realized that, oh, no, they're all just like this. And now she's living with a girl that is not only fairly attractive, around her age, if a bit older - or at least the equivalent of that by Siren standards - and she shares a mutual understanding with, but also just...has a habit of casually draping herself over Zapple like she's a living lounge chair? Forget short circuiting, something in Zapple's brain has caught fire at this point and the fans are working overtime in a feeble effort to solve the issue while smoke blows out her ears.

Meanwhile, completely oblivious to Zapple's plight, Octo Siren...well. She has to admit, there's actually something of a romantic spark in her heart regarding Zapple, what with the softer side Zapple showed her that fateful night, the way she can relate to her mental struggles, the more wild side of her life that seems both a bit frightening and exciting at the same time...but, she also doesn't want to make the same mistake did with Shantae, even if the half-genie wasn't dating Rottytops at the time, and she's about...75% sure that Zapple and Vera are dating. So, Octo Siren doesn't say anything, intending to latch that romantic spark down, only to find it growing stronger and stronger until one day, she finally cracks a little and asks Zapple if she and Vera are dating. Whatever response she was expecting, it was not Zapple snapping her head over to Octo Siren and very bluntly informing her that Vera and Plink are dating, and also you have been driving me insane for the past three weeks for the love of god please date me.

Needless to say, after a lot of confusion and some explanations, the two ended up dating. Now with something of a proper sense of boundaries, Octo Siren has actually toned down how physical she is with Zapple, which is both a slight disappointment and a MAJOR relief because, as nice as all that contact and touching was, she also kinda needs her brain intact to do her job properly. Octo Siren will still drape herself over Zapple like she's a lounge chair, though, especially if she can tell Zapple's had a long day or that she's making a bad decision for herself - like, say, staying up all night to figure out conspiracies. Octo Siren doesn't have that many date ideas, but everything I said about Zapple's dates regarding the Zapple/Vera ship applies here as well, and while at first Octo Siren finds herself terrified...she also loves it a little? It does not take long into her and Zapple's relationship to become an adrenaline junkie, though thankfully one with more common sense, much to Vera's relief. Zapple is also equally attentive to Octo Siren, which is maybe a bit weird for her since she really hasn't anyone hovering over her like that in her life, but still rather flattering. Octo Siren has found that a good way to keep Zapple from committing to a bad idea - or just to receive a LOT of comfort after a particularly bad day - is to fake having a minor cold, and then watching as Zapple drops everything to help Octo Siren out.

Holly Lingerbean

Now, ending on a bit of a high note...Holly Lingerbean! Some of you are probably wondering WHY Holly in particular instead of, say, the Barons, but I went with Holly for three reasons: firstly, I am incredibly biased. Holly is one of my personal favorite Shantae characters just because she hits a lot of the right buttons for me. Secondly, there's only like two things to talk about for Holly, whereas with the Barons I'd probably have to break up their list twice just going off of Risky and the section with the half-genies. Thirdly, she's like half the reason I had the idea to write this PARTICULAR headcanon post in the first place, but I'll get to that in a bit.

Getting into the first ship, which long-time followers of the blog are probably expecting a bit...Holly Lingerbean/Nega Shantae! These two actually fairly consistently show up in my quotes as a couple, whether that be in a romantic sense or a platonic one, and, well...to be completely honest, I don't really ship the two romantically, it's just that: A.), Holly's like, one of the only few characters Nega Shantae could plausibly be interacting with besides the main four and Uncle Mimic, so it makes sense to put them together, and B.), like I mentioned before, Holly's one of my favorite Shantae characters, and she and Nega Shantae have a very interesting dynamic where, with Nega Shantae's over the top villainous personality, it's maybe one of the few times Holly can actually reasonably play the straight man, and obviously Nega Shantae can play the straight man to Holly just as well. So, in other words, this was mostly a pairing formed out of convenience that serves the actual gimmick of this blog pretty nicely...but, uh, again, I honestly don't ship them that seriously. I DO think they could work as a couple, but I'm personally not that invested in figuring out the specifics. I imagine they'd give off old married couple vibes, i.e. Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck in the Looney Tunes Show.

Now, to the main event...some of you are probably aware of the Holly redemption AU I have going on with Living Memoir, though I haven't really added to it beyond that initial fic. But that's hardly for lack of trying! I've had plenty of ideas for it, some of which have shown up in other places - hell, the thing about Giga Mermaid having a spell to shrink herself down to a more normal size is actually from one of those fic ideas - and when it got around to pride month last year...well. I ended up having an idea. An idea completely out of left field, mind you, but one that seemed only captivating, so I mused on it. And mused on it. And then I mused on it a bit too hard, and it has been driving me insane ever since, DOUBLY so after I did my updated siren headcanon post and my brain was filled with ideas anew. But I have had approximately no place to really talk about it...until now, when I wrote this headcanon post specifically talking about couples. So, without further ado - Holly Lingerbean/Lobster Siren! ...I swear I can make this make sense

I'm not going to go too much into how they meet because I DO plan on writing that fic at some point, but to make a long story short - Shantae teleports to Siren Island with Holly, still early on in her path to redemption, in order to talk with Zapple and Vera and figure out where Harmony is, since she figures Harmony would be the best mentor for helping Holly expand her magical repertoire beyond...existing, and also messing with memories. Holly, meanwhile, doesn't really care too much about all that jazz, and just wants to get a tan...or at least act like she's getting one. But, as she manages to set herself up in a resort and get out the tanning board, she happens to spot someone out of the corner of her eye - Lobster Siren, currently hiding the best she can and spying on her. Vaguely knowing who she is from Shantae's brief rundown and not really having any thoughts about Lobster besides "huh, she's kinda cute now that I see her in person," Holly asks if she can get the waiting staff so she can order a drink. When Lobster doesn't respond, Holly remembers that she doesn't speak English, and considering her silent nature, opts for sign language instead. She is beyond pleased with herself when she gets a response, Lobster Siren asking in sign how she knows that - ha, success! - only for that pleasure to promptly shatter into a million pieces as she's informed that the particular sign language she's speaking is several centuries out of date.

Legitimately distressed from this news, as taking the time to learn that language to speak to the deaf and mute was one of the few achievements about herself she could still hold high, Holly does what she deems to be the most healthy and normal method of dealing with this issue and very quickly speedwalks away from the problem, ignoring Lobster Siren's cry of concern. This seems like a perfect plan up until Lobster Siren, very quickly fed up with being ignored, teleports directly in front of Holly and physically holds her in place so she can get her to stand still and tell her what's wrong. Because, with Lobster Siren...well. She'd been intending to avoid Holly - first impression spotting her arrival with Shantae a biiiiiiiiit too similar to Empress Siren for her tastes - but now that she's actually interacted with her...there's clearly something different going on here. Empress Siren only bothered learning the language of the surface to better convey her superiority to them, while Holly, as rude as she might have been at first, clearly learned sign language to actually TALK to people considering her reaction. So, beyond feeling a bit guilty for inadvertently causing Holly distress, Lobster Siren wants to take the time to understand Holly better - both how she knows a language lost to time, and how she is as a person. Holly, meanwhile, had pretty much all of her thoughts leave the room as soon as Lobster Siren grabbed her by the wrists and looked at her with that intense gaze, as her status of "mildly interested" very quickly spiraled into "down atrocious," and it goes from there.

Holly is a similar case to Zapple where physical intimacy makes her brain go blank, only with the main difference that she has not had any kind of physical intimacy for a good few centuries, so it is notably worse. Less touch starved and more touch drought. Also, since Holly's not the best at reading people and Lobster is not the best at communicating, for a good while Holly completely misinterpreted Lobster's complete lack of personal space as her being physically possessive, which, ah...really, only made Lobster Siren that much more attractive to Holly. As big as her ego is, it's all mostly hot air, so the idea of someone finding her valuable, someone treating her as important and worthy, even if she's not busy being a hero or a showman or whatever and just being HOLLY? To the point of them physically pulling her close, as if to say "back off, she's mine?" Oh, that gets Holly's heart racing and her brain to melt out her ears. Even when the misconception is cleared up, her immediate first thought is "okay I know you aren't actually like that and that's fine but maybe you could act like you are? for me? please? pretty please?" And Lobster Siren...is actually completely fine with that, since, as previously established, all Lobster Siren did for Holly to think that was act as her usual, lack of personal space self, so she just...deliberately does that afterwards. And Holly loves it.

As for Lobster Siren's end…she's not down as bad as Holly is, but once Holly does tell her exactly how she feels? She can't help but love her back. For one thing, Holly's one of the few people she knows who isn't either frightened of her - i.e., most of Siren Island's tourists - or babies her, and instead just…treats her with respect like an actual adult. Sure, the two aforementioned groups are getting better at that, but Holly did it right from the start and has no intention of stopping. It also helps that, even if Holly's not the best person in the world by a long shot, she is willing to try and get better, which is very admirable in Lobster's eyes. And, what ultimately ends up sealing the deal for Lobster Siren, at least when it comes to turning their friendship into an actual romance, is just how deep Holly's devotion is for her. How much Holly wants to be with her, how much she sees in her that, honestly, Lobster Siren doesn't see in herself most days, how she is 100% willing to spend the rest of her life with her, without hesitation, and without regret. It's frankly surprising how devoted Holly is to Lobster, but she finds it very sweet...if not mildly concerning at times. Again, down atrocious. Once, Holly described an elaborate fantasy she had of Lobster Siren within minutes of them first meeting to her, of her dragging Holly down to the depths and then showing her all the incredible underwater sights, holding her close to make sure she doesn't fall into the abyss of the sea, scaring off any undersea predator that dared draw near, and Lobster politely waited for her to finish before interjecting with a concerned [So did you forget the part where you need to breathe?] in sign, to which Holly went, "Huh? Oh, no, I'm a memory; I don't actually have to breathe if I want to. Why? Are you interested?"

Holly may not be much of a physical fighter, but if you cause Lobster Siren distress in any way, well...she can certainly verbally eviscerate you, and she is damn good at it, what being a former villain and all. Shantae, Bolo, and Lobster Siren are all quietly relieved that Sky and Rottytops don't like Holly enough to include her in their unofficial "if anyone talks shit about our partners we beat them to death" alliance. They fear what the world would look like if they did.

[mamawasatesttube]

have any thoughts on transfem tim? 🙏

in all honesty i've been a little no thoughts head empty the past few days bc ive been sick but i'm certain if i wait longer to answer this i WILL forget about it. so. apologies in advance bsdhkjs

generally my tim is genderfluid transmasc (who goes so hard on being transmasc that he then has a second, later gender crisis over feeling dysphoric about being TOO masc and Not Fem Enough some days, and then has to figure out how to trans his gender back in the other direction a little bit, and is generally kind of bonkers about the entire thing because of the repression and the internalized issues etc etc.) so that's kinda my default for tim and gender.

HOWEVER i love and support transfem tim with my entire heart. firstly if you haven't read the @milfkon's transfem tim manifesto (you probably have if youre asking me about it i imagine but just in case) its essential reading i think. she says it all soooo well <3 i dont know that i even have anything to add. like. yeah!!!!! one of the girls. so fucking trueee

my personal fav flavor of a transfem tim is a very nonbinary one. (possibly bc im a very nonbinary fellow but yknow.) i always just think of tim as like... gender is a performance. presentation is a mask. it's something he can put on or take off and alter depending on the audience. which is to say, i think that a lot of things like vocab and pronouns are just like ... shrug yeah sure that's fine. and also i think he's always really private about it in general. feels literally no need to come out to anyone until it comes up, and even then, if and only if he Wants that person to know. so like, he has no real urge to change his name, is perfectly fine with he/him but also likes to be they/them or she/her'd, etc. doesn't care if people see "a woman" vs "a dude in a skirt" or something else entirely. it's not for anyone but himself (herself) (themself) anyways. bc he's already always so... Like That about how he's perceived by anyone outside himself, i think gender and presentation just slot into that whole distancing-and-compartmentalizing situation in there pretty neatly.

[konahrics]

I once made a post about the DG dlc and how it didn't live up to its potential, but every time i read it i feel like it's just a wall of disjointed text lmao so here's a better version for those interested:

- Harkon should have been more insane. His personality is fine, he should just be more obviously bonkers while being a haughty power-hungry mf, and it would come into play later for the radiant quests

- I wish the Volkihar members were more interesting. I haven't really counted how many npcs have backstories/unique lines in the Dawnguard vs the Volkihar so i won't talk numbers, but the Dawnguard npcs are just more memorable overall imo.

- Serana should lead the Volkihar at the end if you side with the vamps, not the pc. I know every questline in Skyrim ends up making the pc the leader of their faction, with the Dawnguard being an exception, but Serana just fits the bill better: she's a pure-blood while the pc is a half-blood, she's much more experienced in vampire politics and she's Harkon's daughter.

- For players who actually want to lead, it could be an option once you've done a lot of radiant quests, like how you restore the Ratway to its former glory in the Thieves' Guild questline, except instead Serana goes "hey yknow what? I don't even want to lead and you've been doing a lot. Here's your new crown."

- THE RADIANT QUESTS. Omg the potential. For the Volkihar: that's the part where Harkon having become obsessed with the prophecy would play a role. He's been neglecting his territory, other clans are encroaching and he either didn't even notice or didn't care. Now it's your problem. Also, you need to cull vamp numbers in the province so people don't make Dawnguard 2: electric boogaloo, both because of vampires invading from other provinces to take your territory and because of newly-formed covens, and you need to recruit more actual Volkihar by turning people (i like the quests that are already there for turning npcs tbh). For the Dawnguard: oh shit turns out the Volkihar were keeping other clans at bay and culling their own numbers, and now that they're gone, it's your job ig. The in-game quests are already pretty good, but introducing foreign clans would add to the world, essentially.

- Why does it feel so much like a good vs evil plotline? The Dawnguard admittedly has some nuance to it (they're good people who want to protect others from the vampire menace, but their leader has a torture chamber next to his bedroom...), but the Volkihar literally live in a castle whose floors are splattered with blood and have human cattle in the basement. I wish at least once Harkon is defeated, if you were on the vamps' side, you could choose how to run the faction. Maybe the "cattle" could be volunteers only and not kept in cages, or something, my point being that it should be left up to the player. Ngl, every time i side with the Volkihar, i feel bad about it.

- While the Dawnguard are making moves and recruiting in preparation for their fight against the Volkihar, the vamps are kinda just sitting there - why? There could be an internal struggle between those who are loyal to Harkon and those who believe he isn't fit to rule anymore (instead of the Vingalmo vs Orthjolf feud being about which of them can kiss ass better, they could each represent the pro- and anti-Harkon sides), the result being that they're still not really reacting to the Dawnguard threat, but now there's a reason; they're too busy plotting against each other. And once Harkon's dead, the surviving vampires can work together and be less likely to stab each other in the back, which in turn sounds less exhausting for whoever ends up leading them.

Tbh the whole reason behind this rant (i guess "these rants" now...) is that some custom followers don't trust or react badly to a vampire pc, and with the game as it is, it makes total sense, so i wish Skyrim vampires weren't mustache-twirling villains. Also maybe i'm planning a fanfic with this Volkihar headcanon and wanted something to reference so people wouldn't think i'm misremembering the hell out of this game lol

[cosmossystem]

i'll have more to say about this later i'm sure, but i just want to note how… hard it is truly to be in an inter-source relationship? or just inner-system relationships in general really. our system has had numerous inter-source relationships and i should say it's not necessarily worse than other relationships but it just comes with some additional challenges i think.

like in specific, i'm a non-fictive and for a while i was dating a fictive of a character from one of our favorite shows (not saying which for privacy) and we dated for a few months and it was going great. i was already a selfshipper before that and he's a fan favorite character so it's not too hard to find merch of him, so i bought a bunch of it yknow? a plushie, some stickers, a figurine or two even. and then a few things happened in quick succession: we split another fictive from his source, he developed feelings for that fictive so we opened the relationship, i stopped fronting as much, the two of us stopped spending much time together, and by the time i got back to the front consistently both of them had gone dormant. i didn't even get to properly say goodbye.

now it feels like i can't enjoy him as a character, much less their source, because i'm half-mourning the loss and half-furious that i opened the relationship for him -- the latter of which i wouldn't be so upset about if i could just talk it out with him! but i can't.

of course now i'm in an open relationship (both internal and external) and i'm very happy so that isn't the issue here, moreso our lack of communication -- but the point is, now i have all this damn merch of him and what am i supposed to do? get rid of it? His canon self isn't the problem. I still like him. I still like the source!! but i haven't watched it in forever because i just can't look at him. i don't know. it's hard.

[scaryscarecrows]

Yknow what I love most abt the squad? Even tho they’re bad people and have done some very questionable things, they know that the idea of Robin is just SO DUMB

Like, as a fandom it’s never really been said ‘hey dressing up a kid in flashy colors and telling them to beat up bad guys’ is just weird and not okay. In world to, no one says ‘this is bad’ just like ‘it’s Gotham get over it’

They are common sense and I adore it.

Note: ScaryScarecrows acknowledges that comic logic has to fly in the face of real world logic, because fiction. I mean. Man-Bat. Science does not work that way. :p So I'll allow it.

HOWEVER...

Antoine: Like I said: Bat's lucky the boss is more forgiving than we are.

Frank: We should have probably just gone ahead and detonated those bombs. I mean. Gotham is clearly too fucked up to really be allowed to go on, what if they get too much political power? Is every city in America gonna have an appointed Batman + child soldiers? Can that happen? Let's not find out.

Jimmy: Yeah...Joker ran for president once. No idea how that happened. Fuckin' weird, man. Anyways, Batman's a fuck and he should be grateful we haven't done anything to him.

Mark: I remember that. Couple'a interns I had at the time were thinking about voting for him as a joke. Scary shit. Batman, though...he's worse, almost. He let it get to this point. Who keeps him in check, I'd like to know?

Trent: Jesus Christ, seriously? Were they on a watchlist?

Mark: Shockingly, no. They were just young and stupid.

Trent: God damn. Maybe they should've been Robin. Teach 'em a lesson or four.

Mark: Do you want to be responsible for two more?

Trent: Oh God no, never mind, forget I said it.

Riley: Bat can go to Hell. I'll be waiting for him.