#but I have work tomorrow! hopefully that goes well
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"watching a movie or show that they know they're interested in" for piarles ofc :)))
Well.
Part two of this....
It's selfish.
It's completely and totally selfish.
Ferrari lines up a list of people they've vetted and approved and Charles smiles at them and says no to each and every one until they throw their hands up and ask him what he wants - who he wants.
The phone call is probably all of five minutes of Charles talking too fast and Pierre humming any second that Charles is not speaking, but he agrees at the end of it and Charles promises him the money will be good, and then he feels bad about it for a whole ten days.
Because Pierre is proud of the life he clawed out for himself after and he has a lot of pride in his job and it's never been about the money, but Charles knows that it will be nice for Pierre to not worry about things so much...and also it's selfish.
Charles doesn't see him enough - talk to him enough - and maybe it's ridiculous or childish that he is 27 and still fully in love with someone that has no idea and will never love him back, but he thinks he deserves to be a little selfish after last season.
Pierre returns the signed contract and Charles spends the two weeks before their arranged pre-season training camp trying to make everything perfect.
He has so many opinions about the branded Ferrari gear that they send for Pierre, he ends up ordering some himself in the designs and sizes he wants.
Charles gets in an honest to god shouting match with the hotel because they tell him they have no adjoining rooms when Charles knows that's not true, and Joris looks at him so sharply that Charles goes to his room to hide and when he comes back out, Joris has booked them a house.
He triple checks with the rental company that they have all of Pierre's listed foods that he wants to incorporate into Charles' diet and he downloads roughly 280 hours of US American sitcoms because that used to be the way Pierre liked to unwind.
Charles has no idea if he still likes that because the last two years...well, the last two years have been about Charles.
Charles losing the championship, Charles in the bad car, Charles dealing with an injury.
And when Pierre would come to a race, it was about Charles. When Charles would call Pierre, it was about Charles.
That's why it's so selfish. Because this is still about Charles.
He has nothing to offer Pierre except for a little bit of money and paddock passes for all of his brothers at any race they want and 280 hours of various sitcoms that hopefully will be a balm for Pierre after a turbulent flight or a long triple header or Charles being a little shit in the gym because he's tired.
my flight got cancelled, Pierre texts as Charles is googling where he can buy Season 1 of that one show with the lesser Chris from those Marvel movies. I can hop on one to nice tonight instead? get on the jet with you tomorrow? let me know
yes, Charles texts back faster than he ever has, I am just downloading sitcoms for you
Pierre doesn't text back for a long time. For so long that Charles is considering using that silly unsend option in imessage, but finally he responds.
I think I am the one meant to be taking care of you this season? but thank you, cha and then there's a screenshot of his new flight that lands in six hours
Charles is trying to determine if he can go get him - if he can risk going to get him, or maybe Joris, he could work that out, surely. He could work that out.
I am looking forward to watching sitcoms with you on planes
It's not much - it's hardly anything. But, Charles is looking forward to the long season with many planes and a lot of Pierre.
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Hi I'm back from a week on my old blog. Nothings changed in my life but I started watching that dungeon monster cooking show and its pretty cute
#-unsure#I know midnight was here but idk#im preeettty spacey atm#I feel like everyone who is here is floating in and out all weird#im not having a fun time lately#but I have work tomorrow! hopefully that goes well#I just enjoy making money :)#I also have DnD tomorrow :D first game in a new session#and its Bee's turn to play!!#excited for her. hope she doesnt lose the plot and fuck it up (she says about herself)#okay im nonsense feelings now thats all for this update. now: the reblogs
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So I've been working on a project (it's helped me today in not focusing on, you know *gestures vaguely outside*) and I realized I had mis-measured something, but it's too late to fix it so I have to start again. Wondering if this is a gift from the universe so I keep having something to focus on/look forward to. But also, it was turning out so well and I'm sad I have to discard the first attempt
#i hope this turns out well#i have spent a lot of money on supplies#(though if it does work then i have all the supplies to keep doing it)#i even bought a cricut#btw the cricut design program sucks ass#its so bad#anyway#since someone might ask#im attempting to rebind a book#i shall post the results here hopefully tomorrow if everything goes to plan
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To the people in my inbox I'm so sorry I swear I'm gonna answer those but work has been absolutely destroying me for like 2 weeks straight and I've barely been here
#Charlie Stuff#I see them I'm gonna answer I promise I just do not know when#Because next week is looking just as bad <( _ _ )>#And any free time and energy I've had has been going to a secret project I started#And also sleep when I can get it#But!! If all goes well!!#I'm maybe gonna post about the secret project tomorrow after I get home from work#Because it's mostly ready to go I just need to organise myself#And I wanna make it so updates happen on sundays so even if I'm working I'll have a lil more time to fix it up#This sounds cryptic but hopefully it'll all make sense tomorrow!
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FANTASTIC NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i finished & posted the ITNL 14 re-edits, WHICH MEANS!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm officially done with my re-edits project!!!!!!!!!! :D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ive been thinking a lot today about my plans for ITNL 15, AND i have tomorrow off, so if all goes well i'll be able to start writing again. TOMORROW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and if the chapter grips me like i expect it will then... hehehehehe
could be an update in as little as a few days, depending. i'll keep u guys updated
#speculation nation#itnl shit#im SO fucking ecstatic man ive been looking forward to this for a month and a half#that took SO much longer than i was expecting it to. but i guess editing 75k words while working full time is kind of a lot#it has been a journey. and it is now complete.#and now i can move on to the NEW THINGS!!!!!!!!! INCLUDING a chapter id been looking forward to for So Long#it's for the best that i went thru the whole fic again. itnl 14 was so hard to write bc i was just Not that mentally there with it#and also uh. The Everything.#i think 15 will be easier. MUCH easier. and im really looking forward to having proper writing motivation again.#AND......... IF ALL GOES WELL.............. i'll hopefully be able to ride that motivation train through the next few chapters#Which Means we could be seeing wolfwood in as little as a few weeks!!! maybe!!!!!!!!#i hope so !!!!!!!!!!! i wanna write him SO fucking bad#and like itnl IS a vw fic. it IS. i SWEAR. it's just mostly been grieving and pining from vash so far lksdjflsdjkfsdlkf#but it will have actual vw. eventually.#im like practically vibrating now but i need to go to sleep. so i can have the brain strength to write tomorrow hehehe#i took a melatonin to hopefully knock myself out soon. i GOTTA get some good rest tonight. for the Writing Brain.#and if i daydream about the start of next chapter.... hehehehe#more power to me then :]
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Currently in god’s most awkward situation somebody save me
#extremely bad period cramps and nausea on day two of a visit#from my grandma who I do not know really at all#but ofc she thinks we are very close#already strange to navigate#and my parents acting wayyyyy over the top abt the whole things#understandably to compensate for the years long silence her and us#and my car is undriveable until probably next week#like bro I just want to go home and like eat crackers and watch a movie u til my ‘stomach bug’ goes away#but that would not be received well and would also be logistically weird bc no car (and I’m at work)#so nothing horrible going on but#still a goddamn bitch of an unsatisfactory situation lol#hopefully will feel better tomorrow and then I can just have the weird family stuff to deal with until Saturday
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Song of the Day: May 3
"Life Less Frightening" by Rise Against
#song of the day#'I don't ask for much / truth be told I'd settle / for a life less frightening'#another song that when I sing it alone it doesn't sound much like the original but I do so like to sing it#check me stirring my roux humming 'these lives we live test negative for happiness' sweetly to myself#today was Friday and I'm still trying to decide if I'm satisfied with the amount of work I got done this week#I suppose I'll have to be#I had my weekly report meeting and again the updates my boss asked for in the meeting were not the ones she asked me to prepare#so I split-screened her and delivered the prepared updates as I frantically opened and updated the new request#and then when she finished making politely falsely interested sounds (I'm not bitter I'm not I'm not) she asked again for the new update#and by then I had it ready! saved it as I brought up the share-screen and showed it to her#too frustrated in the moment to be properly proud of myself but now it's hours later and I'm feeling a little smug about it#little back-pats for me#I have something like a project timeline worked out for the idiot project#and I did some good work in the garden (nasturtium growing up the post under the bird feeder. very pleased it took the transplant so well)#and I sooooort of sorted the freezer stuff. kind of. mostly we ate the things I wanted to rearrange but I've got a plan for moving forward#the last non-work thing I'd really wanted to accomplish this week was getting my queue set up again here#I've gone through my drafts and done some prep but as you can see the queue isn't actually running again yet#hopefully I'll do that tomorrow. we'll see how it goes#the queue may have to wait until Sunday because I must confess if I can accomplish only one single solitary thing tomorrow#I would like it to be six hours of uninterrupted sleep. may it please the gods I shall rest tomorrow. blessed weekend#edit: wait wait I'm a fool I'm a fool I just typed 'May 3' and still I am a fool#it's May the Fourth!!#happy star wars day my loves if I don't get the queue up today after all#it's because I'm reshuffling everything because I've got a new influx of SW posts to distribute!!
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SENDING MY FIRST ASK FROM THE NEW BLOG!!!! i feel like i am sending a letter from a new address... crazy. ANYWAY HOW R U TONIGHT!!!! i hope ur havin a good day!!!! kicking my feet like a teenager at a sleepover rn tell me abt ur day who r the blorbos in ur mind rn what kinda art r u workin on lately how's it going friend!!!
HIIIIIII HI HI . HELLO SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG- i mean catboy cellbit!!! . dude i am. dreading the coming week tbh but it is fine !! we will get thru it we will survive!!! i am so sleepytired but alas i also cannot sleep so i may just have another night of reading and music ahead of me . wah. i hope u are hsving a good night <3 IVE BEEN COMPLETELY ART NERFED TOO BTW. my laptop died on me a couple days ago and while i was able to find a new one affordably it will not be here until the 13th 😔 so no digital art from me for a while. sigh. i DID just decorate my new sketchbook with stickers tho so im hoping that will get my brain in gear for traditional art again. AS FOR BLORBOS. oh . u know. the usuals. vash the stampede. zacharie from off . masky marblehornets (also tim marblehornets) . to name three of them.
#who are ur blorbos rn. i dont watch qsmp i think sering ur posts abt it are really funny bc im like. guy walks into the room on fire gif.#i have no idea whats going on in here congratulations and/or my condolences <3#thank u thank u i love the sleepover vibes. literally had gossip talk w one of my other friends earlier#(name withheld for reasons but if u see this u know who u are and i love u )#so the vibes are so correct#i have 2 work tomorrow :( not looking forward 2 that.#however it IS my last day of my long term overnight job which means i will be able to sleep in my own bed tomoerow night.#this is something i have not done for like. close to a month now. whcih is why ive been sleeping so awfully! so hopefully that fixes me#also have. job interview on wednesday for another aquarium place..#fingers crossed this goes better than my last one but also part of me is kind of hoping it doesnt go well#bc i hate transitional periods and i dont want 2 go thru the moving process again#and i dont want 2 meet a bunch of new ppl all at once again. and do the while job training thing.#alas that is the anxiety talkimg and i do actually want the job bc it would be good for me <3#sorry it is late and im soooo fucking sleepy so im rambling !!!! do not feel like u have to respond to . gestures vaguely at all that#its blorbo talk time. i desperately want 2 warch more mh right now#however the house im.staying in IS in the middle of the woods and very isolated and i have been so scared and paranoid#so i am OUTTA LUCK sigh. i will simply watch smth silly instead like gg tmph or david attenborough or perhaps spongebob will b on the tv.#asks#friends!!!#false-anachronism#<< oh fuck new url!!! i got like halfway thru typing ur old one before i was like WAIT SHIT.
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another little semi-hiatus update: been dealing with a lot of family issues atm and work (i'm being worked 13hrs tomorrow) so i'm pressed for free time to actually sit down and write. i might get a little bit done before i go to bed but we'll see. thank you for your understanding!
#i'm working from 6am to 7pm tomorrow and i just want someone to put me out of my misery lol#it's bc my store is doing inventory which is a pain in the ass. so hopefully all goes well tomorrow. i might be able to leave early but we#shall see! anyway i should be able to write more tuesday-thursday once i'm able to have a chance to relax but idk yet lol.#ooc.
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I am going in for spine surgery tomorrow @ 2. Wish me luck!
#I'm hoping it goes okay#i might die#i might be paralyzed#but i guess we will just have to find out#fun times#hopefully things will be fine and it will make some of the pain go away#if it works then I'll have a second one later in the month as well#they are doing the left side tomorrow#and the right side later on#yikes
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why did i decide to take a job at an extremely active and sport-focused camp this summer.
#well on the bright side i got my legal name changed to phoenix on the staff portal#but training starts tomorrow#and im gonna be the bitch that's slower and less fit than everyone else#like i genuinely do not see a scenario where that doesn't happen#i'm either gonna have to push my body beyond what its capable of doing comfortably#or ask for breaks#i hate the society we live in#where i internalized that asking for breaks is weak and embarassing#but to answer my own question. it's because the pay is so much better than the other camp jobs i was applying to lmaooo#i mean i'm sure i'll get more fit as the summer goes on#but being behind everyone else in the beginning is gonna be so stressful#i tried so hard to exercise more this month. but i don't think i did it more than 3 times a week#which i don't think was enough#but hopefully it will be something#i also hate the sun and bugs.#WHY AM I DOING THIS KASJHDAKSHD#i don't even know if i like working with kids :''')#i hate new situations where i have no idea what to expect#i did as much research as i could but the autism can't handle the things i can't know or prepare for#idk what i need rn. everyone's who's told me that its gonna be fun or a good time or whatever has not helped#and anyone who's validated me and said that it sounds stressful hasn't helped either#so i will take your likes on this post as a little kiss on the cheek <3#that's all i need#phoenix talks
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im. hm. i wonder if my body hurts all the time because of accutane
#like work never used to leave me in pain like this all the time#i would work 6 hour truck shifts weekly and not feel a thing#now i do like a 5 hour normal floor shift and my knees are destroyed#and i was like well what happened that caused this disparity#and now im like. wait. im literally on a medication.... that can cause body and joint pain........................#well good news is - if it is accutane then hopefully it goes away once my treatment ends#i have like. two more months left i think?#is this something i should mention to my doctor at my next dermo appointment tomorrow .#Sighs#and here i thought my only side effects were dry skin#brot posts
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#yall I finally got some good fucking news#my grandma’s been in the hospital and was doing very bad and like#we thought the end was near#she improved and got discharged#things still aren’t great but it’s (hopefully) looking more like she has weeks or maybe even months rather than just a handful of days#she’s almost 92 and has late stage Alzheimer’s and the flu is what put her in the hospital but she beat it#yesterday was very stressful#my parents/uncles were all being incredibly vague and my cousins were reaching out for info from me since I’m the only local grandchild#trying to figure out if people several hours away need to drop everything and try to make it here to say goodbye while at work was uh#it was something#I had an emotional break down in the bathroom which was fun#my parents who normally use me as a punching bad were doing it to an even more extreme degree#they still are technically; I get it’s my dad’s mom and he’s hurting more but she’s my grandma and like#the whole way they’ve been treating is just… it broke something in me#relieved she’s okay for now but having to grapple with the fact that this is how they will treat me when it is her time is something#I am an frazzled emotional wreck from everything but she’s okay and that’s what matters in the end#I also had a video interview this afternoon which like#absolutely wild state of mind to be in to do an interview but it’s with a really good company so I didn’t want to cancel#guys#I got a second in person interview!#it pays good and it’s close by and the only thing I don’t like is that it’s second shift#but they said if I get the job I’ll eventually get the opportunity to switch to first shift so like#fingers crossed the next interview goes well#anyways all good news except for my parents being fucking assholes but#I am out of energy emotionally mentally and physically#was trying to keep myself together till the interview and now that it’s over I’m just very done#my anxiety is shot my brain’s checked out and all I wanna do is sleep#I was supposed to be off tomorrow but work called me in and I took the shift cause I need money#I think there is a very good chance that I crash very hard after work tomorrow#which fine
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did you have those chapters already ready to go or have you just been blitzing them out? i've been enjoying either way but if it's the latter i fear your power
LMFAO IVE BEEN BLITZING THEM OUT. i started adhd medication in the spring and im on vacation right now so everyday i sit down and write for a few hours to see what i get out! i cant promise update schedules will be like this forever because i have a job now and it’s pretty exhausting. but until the fifth of january im free to go crazy with it!!
#asks#im currently working on ch 3 of nemesis & nike as we speak and hopefully if all goes well itll be out tomorrow or the next day#as of answering this ask im 2k words in and about to write a chase scene#hehe#when i was writing my transformers fanfic id weite ten chapters and then when i was done post them weekly#but i like the instant gratification of dropping them when im done#the only consequence of this is planning and pacing may suffer because those are my weakest areas#and i dont have that buffer time to edit parts as i see fit
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naps are the main supporting beam in my life
#the bin#well. besides daydreams but those are more like the ground so im not drifting in nothingness. wjere wouod i be withiut them? they r my world#i wish i would have napped longer but a got woken up by a text. i really needed my sister to take me to pick some stuff up but she decided#to go hangout with her boyfriend instead :/ couldnt you do that after? ugh. well whatever.#im working another opening tomorrow but then i have 2 days off and then 2 8am shifts hell yeah!!!#today way good aside from being so sleepy but work feels like it goes by reasonably fast.#im still so fucking tired now but im probably gonna stay awake anpther 2 hours and then go back to sleep till tomorrow morning#ack. well. maybe ill clean some more of my room the next few days. hopefully. idk tho. ack
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wow packing my bag and picking out my outfit and preparing my lunch ahead of time so im all ready for my class tomorrow i literally do feel like a little kid on her first day of school.
#my backpack is actually super cute i spent the summer decorating and customizing it with different patches and pins and charms i have#im quite proud of it actually#but anyway yeah. im both excited and nervous about tomorrow but hopefully all goes well.#my class isn’t until the afternoon so I have my morning to like decompress and stuff beforehand#(by decompress i mean my usual routine of playing genshin and working out)#and i don’t have to go to work until after class/the evening which is nice#cuz originally i thought i was gonna have to squeeze it in earlier in the morning (i usually work afternoons)#so that gives me more time to like not rush and stuff#but yeah. here we go. goin back to school for the forts time in 5 years. hope i don’t have a breakdown lol.#ciaras tag
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