#but I have a life so dont have time
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ACOWAR Cassian would have killed ACOSF Cassian.
ACOWAR Cassian would never have let ACOSF Cassian treat Nesta how he treated her.
ACOWAR Cassian would have stand up for Nesta every time in ACOSF.
#nesta archeron#cassian#acotar#acosf#acowar#acomaf#what happened to cassian and where is he buried?#nessian#well I was told I have no reading comprehension because of this#but anyways#I wish i had the time to point out everything since their first dynamic#but I have a life so dont have time#no hate to anyone who thinks different because is okay#block me if you just settled with ACOSF and convince yourself thats all that Nessian deserved#btw i love cassian and nesta#i have been here since ancient times#nessian lover forever#but sadly i have seen on ao3 more character development and comprehension of motivations#maybe is just I expected sarah would know how to handle it better
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lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)
if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.
--
no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.
I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.
I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.
If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.
#cw: suicidal ideation#cw: suicide#cw: self harm#cw: mental health#cw: depression#i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it#i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague#it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves#so. please dont#for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic#with the state of the world as it is#having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful#but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full#and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead#i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us#there is no fix-all#and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile#i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it#thank you for reading#and please stay alive#stillindigo art#stillindigo comics
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based on a dream i had some nights ago
it was a pretty fun experience this was me after
#my art#digital art#comic art#it was fun i had a good time#also auRHGH this was a longun to make#i cant do the dream justice it was really surreal#maybe this advice can help someone out too#we dont gotta rush life dont gotta know who we are right away#i think the question of who am i is somethin thatll never have a single unchanging answer#cuz we're creatures that always change#so#yeah#ok goodnight kissie smoochie for your head thank u for lookin at my art
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itafushi nation how r we Feeling!!!!!!!!!!!
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk leaks#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP FOUGHT MY DYING PEN PRESSURE FR THIS#TH MEGUMI DROUGHT. OVER. CROPS WATERED with yuuji's tears#im a wreck im a gd WRECK#megumi nation itfs nation whatever happens from now on know tht tonight was a Victory#god there r more redraws i want 2 do . i need to like. calm down tho#im so emotional im shaking and my pen is on its last legs i dont think more is good for it#or for my hand#i feel her protesting GHGSD i did paint a lot of leaves today#YA SPEAKING OF . WENT FROM LA DI DA RELAXING SUMMER LIGHT ITFS IN2 THE MOST DEVASTATING/pos CH OF MY LIFE#what a day what a time to be alive#times like this make me so grateful i can draw what wld i do except scream otherwise#i have no words and i must Draw#anyway i dont have anything valuable or coherent to add just know that i am the human embodiment of a whole bunch of exclamation points#my brain is like bzzzzt my heart is like wowwww
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getting emotional over footage of an amateur scuba diver interacting with a coelacanth. they are hunted by large deepwater predators, and here comes a large creature bearing the brightest lights it's ever seen, making strange noises, but it does not shy away. it hovers, calmly, as the diver reaches out and trails a hand down its back. im strongly against the anthropomorphizing of real life animals but the stupid emotional part of me loudly insists this is because it recognizes us, the alternating movements of its four paired limbs matching the diver's four paired limbs, & it is thinking, "hello, cousins, we missed you these 66 million years, it's so good to see you again. welcome back, welcome home."
#[OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMER: he should NOT have touched the fish. do NOT touch random fish you find while scuba diving#especially if the fish is 6ft long & has sharp teeth#ESPECIALLY if the fish is a critically endangered species#being overwhelmed by the majesty of the coelcanth is understandable but that does not excuse his behavior]#[obligatory disclaimer 2: i know nothing about this guy; by 'amateur' i just mean he wasnt part of a scientific expedition at the time]#[obligatory disclaimer 3: i mean it wasnt CALM. its first dorsal fin was erect which we have reason to believe means it is on edge.#but it didnt flee like you would expect of a wild animal]#...disclaimers over. now im going to wail about how life began in the sea and we left & they stayed#& we thought they were gone & now we're finding our way back home to them#they are so beautiful and they are our family and they love us ok. they do i know it in my heart#coelacanth#Latimeria chalumnae#animals#andy original#ALSO I KNOW THEY HAVE 8 FINS by four paired limbs i mean the pelvic and pectoral the others arent paired they dont move like legs do
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you wear katsuki’s clothes to bed.
among all your cotton and silk pajamas, you prefer the thinning fabric of his faded tees. there are holes in some of them, just a few more seams away from their undoing as they fit far too large on you—but that’s why you love them.
they’re comfy and worn; lived in with love from the man that you love. when katsuki is gone for days or weeks at a time, you find his warmth intertwined within the threads of his t-shirts. when the fabric presses against your back, the bed doesn’t feel nearly as empty as it is.
(though it can never replace him. nothing can, you fear.)
“hoggin’ all my shirts,” he tuts, but you know it means nothing. the roll of white fabric is neatly folded unto itself, its crisp corners unfurling once handed over.
you giggle, shaking off its folds and fitting the hem right over your head. from the corner of your eye, you see katsuki’s gaze, watching you wrangle the fabric over you as the towel wrapped around your body slowly drops to the floor.
he turns away then, a little too quickly, a little too abruptly. if you look at him now, you’re sure you’ll find flushed cheeks and crimson eyes burning in shame for wanting you so inopportunely.
“guess you’ll just have to take me with it then.”
#bakugo x reader#shotorus.bubble#bakugo katsuki x reader#katsuki x reader#bnha x reader#WAAAHDJENDJDN#i think he gets a lil bit flustered seeing u in his clothes 😋#and he feels so embarrassed just watChing u dress and undress#it eases up over time but his cheeks dont lie!!!!!! they flush red everytime!!!!!!#the look of shame transforms into unabashed want over the years but#the feeling is the same 🥹 bubbles or butterflies or whatever the hell it is swirling in his belly#seeing you in something that’s his#especially smth he’s had for yeaaaars 🥺 clothes that have grown up w him 🥺🥺 it makes him feel a little bit like#youre the gift he gets at the end of it all 🥺#like this is the life he has now even tho he was who he was before#and idk !!! it flips something in him !!!#bc it feels a lot like youre proud of being his 🥺 wearing him all over you and whatnot 🥺 and that you’ve chosen him 🥺#all rough edges and holes 🥺🥺🥺🥺#anyway theres a longer version of this but i might make it into a fic or put into an existing one so i will stop it hErEEEEe 🥹🥹🥹#bnha#katsu
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don't look (please do)
#oh by the way implied vashwood#wolfwood caught him looking a little uncanny and all vash wants is to crawl in a little cave for the rest of his life or#OR have wolfwood hug him and soothe him and be nice to him#he's probably having an existential crisis over someone dying 'because of him' even though he 100% did his best to protect everyone#and got shot a few times as well#im insane abt this piece i love it im so proud rahh#but it took me forever because i dont know how to draw WINGS#like its honestly so difficult#trigun#vash the stampede#tri98#vashwood#trigun maximum#trigun fanart#vash#vash trigun#vash the stampede fanart#uncanny vash#trimax#my art
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wyll's #1 sexual fantasy: being loved for who he is and assured that hes enough, even without his blade of frontiers persona
wyll's #2 sexual fantasy: being choked out by a minotaur
#bg3#wyll ravengard#jsyk this is vibes-based and not canon. but also... not UNcanon#it is not canon-contradictory because we shrimply do not have any direct info on this#but also. it is not canon because we have no info on this#just specifying because i almost always post things that are 100% canon and i dont want anyone to assume this is one of those times#with that out of the way#i cant imagine the 7 years of loneliness + stress + adrenaline combo hasnt done anything weird to him#if you took 17yo me and made it so 90% of my skin-to-skin interactions were in life-or-death high octane encounters with monsters#my own blood mingling with the arterial red sprayed across my face and hands. the rush of victory a mixer in a cocktail of pain#i would be much weirder! in a very different way! i would be a tier 1 weirdo and not even know it!
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I don't know what this is all I know is that LimL Joel makes me really emotional
#I know he has a tendency to go deranged on his red lives but idk something about him beginning to lose it after Jimmy died and killing Grian#joel smallishbeans#smallishbeans fanart#trafficblr#Again its his red life shenanigans but... If only Jimmy had known how affected someone was by his death. I'm choosing to believe this#and him then going out like a sad pathetic wet cat even with Grian's sacrifice... He really deserves a win one of these days lmao please#Also I cant stop thinking about how Jimmy wouldn't have left him. Grian was sensible to and most players probs would have#Joel really does become a lost cause so its fair and Grian did still care (and went to say goodbye as well as sacrifice his time for him)#But Jimmy would have stuck by even if Joel were in this state (and they'd both get themselves killed pathetically but)#And Joel having shown such genuine care for Jimmy and concern over his limited time... man anything w Jimmy makes me so emotional lol#I love them so#oh Ig about the art itself. I dont like it but hey thats how it tends to go when you try smth new. And no shame in trying#but if one person likes this then yayy I will still feel accomplished and happy#Im looking at this again and hey its not that bad actually yay I love to approve of my own art. self love hell yea#tubby art
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#monkey d. luffy#gear 5#gear 5 luffy#one piece#my art#messy and i have no clue about anatomy#very inspired by 2964_KO on twitter#check them out if you dont know them.. i cant remember the last time i was more blown away and inspired by art honestly. lol...#theyre the same age as me too sigh#but now i feel more motivated to level up and push myself to try new things so yeah. life is ok for now#my friend calls g5 luffy 'cloud luffy' :)
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Curly's little blurb on his steam trading card just keeps reminding me he is a much more miserable person than people realize.
We don't get a lot of his thoughts, inner confliction that aren't bogged down by what Jimmy says or does. Even in the The Last One and Then Another, his dialogue is reflective, not the Curly before the crash but the result of everything. Parts of the him he was are there of course, but also disfigured and warped beyond recognition just like he is physically.
Curly really doesn't think much of himself and desires. He clearly chases fleeting moments of happiness. He doesn't really have prospects for himself, assumes in a similar way to Swansea, that if it should make it happy then he is happy. Though, he hasn't reached the point Swansea did to admit it doesn't. He neither sees the glass half full or empty, it's just water, something he needs and he'll take it from any perspective.
He wasn't running from anything but he's never really been going towards something either. He's listless. I've been using the term complacent to describe how he feels about his life and the closest people (really just Jimmy) in it, but now that word feels too neutral, too nice. Happier than Curly really was. There isn't just one word for it, he's unfulfilled, uncertain, uninspired. There are no active problems he faces and that's the issue, why should he be upset?
I believe he really is a person who doesn't know who he is or wants to be. He follows a structure. I don't think he's suicidal, but he clearly doesn't think about what makes him happy. He's numb. I suppose that is a better word than complacent, used to the feeling even if he hates it. It doesn't hurt so why stop it?
#like curly is very much does his job goes home takes care of self repeat i dont think hes like an asocial person but he doesn't take the tim#time to indulge in himself the way he thinks hes a bigger picture guy so as long as nothing is disrupted hes relatively okay even if its#slowly chipping away at him and making him feel hollow like he thought space was endless that he could never reach a point of feeling finis#he never had to predict what to do after the end and suddently he realizes there was no end to it because there cant be an end to nothing#hes accomplished so much objectively but hes done nothing with his life outside of his work like he mentions no hobbies other friends or an#thing of the sort he doesn't even feel like he can vent it cause what? hes complaining about how hard it is to get promoted to have securit#in a job you hate and a position that keeps weighing you down like I feel like if he explained himself at the party and didn't let Jimmy t#talk for him hed actually have made points the others would get cause even if they envied his position he still is justified in being unhap#not everything that you think would bring you happiness does or fulfills even a small part of that desire#idk hes a lot more fucked in the head but like towards himself than people realize like how he lets Jimmy treat him is indicitive of that i#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#captain curly#curly mouthwashing
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#rgg#ryu ga gotoku#ryu ga gotoku 7#yakuza series#yakuza like a dragon#yakuza 7#ichiban kasuga#ryo aoki#masato arakawa#snap sketches#beat y7 for the first time in Ever last night with kayla so i was legally required to draw something#also i wouldve just rb'd the og post but it had less than 100 notes and i didnt want op seeing me be cringe so early in that posts life#theyre brothers your honor this is simply shit ichi would do every day had it not been for The Horrors#ok bye i should eat#steadily trying to post art again cause my comm list is FINALLY looking vaguely normal so i dont have much left to do#ill probably shotgun a good chunk of them tomorrow even tho tomorrows suppoed to be a rest day but lol#ok bye bye
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scene from where the apple falls by @jupiters-junipers :-) wholeheartedly recommend any and all of her work
#klance#voltron#vld#ok now time to freak it in the tags#to be honest i saw colleen blogging her read of New and the two of us went back and forth in dms for like 20 mins straight#abt all the things we like abt europas work#and i was like okay i have to assert my membership in the europa fan club too hang on#ive had 'draw europa report scene' in my art to-do file for months but thbeyre all so good#i couldnt choose!#due west is obviously The One the flagship#but they all deserve love....#i tell you to be honest im a coward i usually avoid any unfinished fics cause i like to binge but for europas work its simply worth it#anyway i envy you if you dont know who im talking abt bc that means u get to read her work for the first time...sighs dreamily#art#my art#ANYWAY THIS ONE IS SAD. EUROPA UNDERSCORE REPORT YOU ARE A TWISTED INDIVUDAL (affectionate)#im putting my life in ur hands with those happy ending tags.... save me help me..... auuughghh...
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big fan of panels where they look like they wld beat me up
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#yuuji#megumi#YUUJI WILL NOT COOPERATE TAKE HIM AWAY FROM ME >:(((#is it the angle ? is it the expression?? the bangs??????? am i just a fraud and a fake yuuji liker i dont know at this point#god#just . just take it i cant fiddle with the proportions any more ill go insane#it was worse when i tried colouring it but im STILL not 100% sold on it no matter what i shift or tilt#megumi my darling boy i love u at least You always have my back :'<#honestly my leading theory is that bc my yuuji design looks objectively More different than his canon design#its more prone 2 looking Wrong in my head#but even so !!! if i *have* my yuuji design down why does it still feel like im fighting fr my gd life when i try 2 draw him#it feels like he is shattering my drawing hand and smiling at me n taunting me w those shiny puppy eyes th entire time#head in hands I Don't Get It#when will i get it#anyway scoreboard yuuji: 623453766235 hina: 0
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omega when he’s implanted in tex: you should give into your rage and abandon those you might love to fulfill the urge to find revenge for all those who hurt you. kill your daughter in cold blood while she is incapacitated with agony at even the mention of your name
omega when he’s with the reds and blues: muahahaha 😈😈!!!!1!!! !!! im eevviilllll and im going to blow up the whole! WORLD! !1! 😈😈😈 !!!
#why was he like that frrr#tex was so concerned abt him in blood gulch bc she really thought he was going to cause everyone to kill each other#meanwhile he’s having the time of his life being silly goofy#omega: i am often seized by the fatal leonard church need to fuck around#ill literally never forget about him telling tex to kill carolina and her having to fight him to only put her in a coma and yet#he’s literally so goofy i dont-#the dichotomy of ai#rvb#red vs blue#omega ai#rvb omega#agent texas#rvb tex#omalley#rvb omalley
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hey yall, i just ran out of food stamps and cash yesterday. still battling the heat while i'm living in my car too. if you're willing and able, i could really use some donations or boosts to keep me going.
as always, yall have been super great with boosting my dono posts. genuinely i'd be screwed without my followers and it's wild to me how lucky i am. i'm going to be talking to my case manager about hiring a lawyer to help with my disability case, because i really don't want this to go on any longer than it has to.
anyway, here are the links once again, and a super huge thank you to everyone who boosts or donates <3
ko-fi
cashapp
#donation request#mutual aid#aid#boost#im anticipating some car issues in the future#it feels like my brakes are reaching the end of their life again#feels exactly the same as it did in the weeks before they failed last time#im just hoping i can get some income before anything breaks so i dont have to rely on donations for a large expense like that
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