#but I guess that’s the thing

[the-warmest-machine]

Can you imagine the imposter syndrome Rook feels as a leader of convenience?

We see glimpses of it, but because Rook compartmentalizes it, it makes us see how the companions see Rook: tall, unshakeable, and unbothered. But in between the cracks, look deep enough and you see Rook’s turmoil. Here are some ruminating thoughts about it:

Rook feels imposter syndrome in twinges, after the first Fade dream with Solas. This is their mess to clean. Nothing makes them equipped for the job other than they have to step up and make the best of a shit show. As you discuss the next steps with Harding and Neve, you notice them both look to you. You were, after all, Varric’s second in command. Did Varric see this coming? Is this what he trained you for? The position feels like decay, enjoy encumbered by guilt. It shouldn’t have happened this way. But you’re here now, and you’re making calls. You just wish it felt right.

In fleeting moments, the unease returns, but sometimes it’s Big. The next Big moment Rook feels inadequate is when, for the first time, the core team is gathered around the Lighthouse table. For a second, you’re brought back to when Harding and Neve looked to you. This time, it’s also Bellara, Lucanis, Davrin, Taash and Emmerich. Rook would dig their fingertips into the chair’s wood, if they weren’t surrounded by observant company. Instead, Rook twists their toes as anxiety threatens to seize them. The choices they make and the orders they give—are they really the best course of action? Are they decisions a successful leader would make? Can they tell you’re in over your head and have no idea what you’re doing? The thoughts rise and are quashed, but they nonetheless still exist. Where Rook is clumsy, they compensate in precise motor control—for the “important” occasions, anyway. A determined face and authoritative tone masks the fear clutching their heart. They take a deep mental breath, box the worry away, and get to business.

Once Elgar’nan is slain and Solas is bound to the Veil, Rook and the remaining team stand in the dawning light. Survivors rise from the rubble and cheer them on. Rook has a smile on their face, hands on their hips in accomplishment… but in their head, they’re wondering if they actually belong there. If they deserve the cheers and exaltation. Their gut twists with unease because they know the beginning of this started with them. Varric would say, “You did well, kid,” and disapprove of Rook’s festering thoughts. In his honor, Rook again sets aside the ick. But still, it was there.

[puppyeared]

filipina miku!! my mom helped me with her outfit ^_^

[straightlightyagami]

u ever see someone with extremely fucked up views (or actions) and think wowww if a couple of things in my life went the tiniest bit differently that would have been me

[goldensunset]

advice i think we should tell children is that when adults say stuff like ‘now that i’m an adult i get really excited about stuff like coffee tables and bathrooms and rugs etc’ they don’t mean ‘and now i don’t care about blorbo and squimbus from my childhood tv shows anymore’ bc your average adult still loves all the same pop culture stuff they always did; they just have a greater appreciation for the mundane as well. growing up just means you can enjoy life twice as much now. you can get really excited about a new stuffed animal AND about a new kitchen sponge. peace and love

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

elita pep talk

[eriochromatic]

🌗 Into Tartarus // Out of Tartarus 🔥

[choodraws]

gossip

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[ahotknife]

the thing is that childhood doesn't just end when you turn 18 or when you turn 21. it's going to end dozens of times over. your childhood pet will die. actors you loved in movies you watched as a kid will die. your grandparents will die, and then your parents will die. it's going to end dozens and dozens of times and all you can do is let it. all you can do is stand in the middle of the grocery store and stare at freezers full of microwave pizza because you've suddenly been seized by the memory of what it felt like to have a pizza party on the last day of school before summer break. which is another ending in and of itself

[quibbs]

just had SO much fun with the fallout tv show... i love you missus okey dokey

[earnedmagic]

hand-lettered with micron pen, embellished with cut paper

[incredubious]

MODERN AU ACESAN !!!! first impressions with a guy who barely passes the No Shoes No Shirt No Service rule

[puppyeared]

Bridge to turnabout doodles

[wishfulsketching]

More of the Silco survives AU! This is part three. Part 1 and Part 2

The girls learn the truth and Silco gets a taste of a monster

[nnobodoodles]

Huh.

So I randomly remembered Croc is pretty much Italian.

[rapidhighway]

the thing that caused me so much grief last night but now i feel better about it fdnghgdfggd

[endrae]

babygirl