#but I feel bad. I had a good concept going with that

[sillymommy6969]

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ 𝖄OURS TRULY

Manon Bannerman x actor!fem!reader

summary: being an actress can be pretty demanding, and manon's pretty understanding of the things that came along with your career, but lately it’s feeling a little too real

warnings: slight!angst, some sm posts, jealous!manon, one mean comment, kinda used rachel zegler as a face claim only because i used those pics for the smau, harsh language

Being an actress came with lots of benefits; you travelled all around the world to film in beautiful, exotic locations, you get to meet a lot of amazing new people within and beyond the industry, and you get to do what you were most passionate about. But, it also meant every aspect of your life would be examined under a microscope, on and off set, and you would be made to post or say things that weren’t true just for the sake of promotions or publicity.

You absolutely loathed that part of your job. It has driven a wedge between your relationship with so many ex-boyfriends or girlfriends and even some friendships.

When you met Manon at your good friend and fellow Euphoria costar, Dominic’s New Year’s Eve party, you were absolutely entranced by this walking shred of heaven. Back then, she had not joined Dream Academy yet and she was just in between modelling gigs. You couldn’t help yourself, grabbing her hand and kissing the back of it. You had to get to know her better, and by the end of the night you were leaving Dominic’s condo and stumbling into yours with her pressed against you.

When you begun dating, you made sure Manon knew the extents of your career. You were blunt, dating an actress wasn’t always going to be easy, especially with the way tabloids write their own narrative about your life.

a) Your job entailed partial nudity at times; you’ve been in enough movies or series to know women are always asked to strip in front of cameras. You weren’t exactly the biggest fan, but it wasn’t your artistic choice to make.

b) Your job entailed lots of cameras and eyes constantly trained on you, meaning they would spin stories and insane theories out of the most ridiculously insignificant detail. Nothing the tabloids report can ever be trusted.

c) Your job entailed doing things with your costars, i.e. kissing, making out, filming intimate scenes, etc. As somebody in the industry, you have become so desensitized by the concept of faking things for art. But you understood not many people understood the gravity of everything your career demanded from you, and it can cause lots of issues emotionally.

Manon was very reluctant about these three rules at first, skeptical of how bad things had to be for you to drop this on her the first month in. But then she got on dream academy, she then successfully debuted in Katseye, and she, herself, experienced a lot of the things you fell victim to. She understood and accepted much more than she had to because she loved you, she really did, and to anybody with eyes, the two of you were absolutely smitten.

Recently, you were onset of a new project you were cast in—a remake of Romeo & Juliet but with a modern edge to it. Everything was going good, internal reviews for what, and as you wrapped up filming, you were asked to post an ‘wrap dump’ to promote the movie. Your manager presented you with a selection of photos, and you compiled them into a post.

Liked by kitconnor, lararajj & 821,440 others

ynln Can’t wait for ya’ll to see us in six months <3

19 hours ago

user01 THE FIRST SLIDE HELLO???????

user02 yall stronger than me i would’ve fallen in love

dominicfike aye get it sis

ynln you really do be everywhere but the studio

dominicfike kys

user03 has anybody seen the leaked kiss

user04 YES OMG

user05 they’re such a theatre kid power couple

user03 DID YALL SEE KIT GRABBING HER FACE

user06 you can’t convince me they’re not tgt

user07 Is this a hard launch I’m sobbing

user08 girl you ever heard of marketing 😭😭

user09 no they’re dating

user10 THEYRE LITERALLY NOT??

user11 guys y/n’s dating manon rmb not kit

user12 they never confirmed tho so maybe it’s kit

user13 @user12 Denial is a river in Egypt…

You didn’t think much about the post, getting out of your makeup from the day before hitching a ride home with your manager. You had a couple hours to freshen up and get ready before the wrap party that night, and you were very excited to have invited Manon as your plus one.

It was one of those rare days your girlfriend had a day off that matched your schedule. She had her reservations about being seen or photographed with you at such a public event, but you assured her everything was going to be cast and crew only.

Back at her dorm, Manon was doing her makeup on the floor of her room. She had the room to herself, Lara invited some of the girls home for the weekend with her—which meant Daniela was gone as well. Only Sophia and Yoonchae opted to stay home, wanting to spend the free time they had shopping for decorations to liven up their room. She was nervous, to say the least, about meeting all the professional filmmakers and famed actors and directors you worked with every day.

A knock on her door sounded through the music blasting.

“Yo, Manon, you getting ready to go soon?” When she turned her head to catch a glimpse of Sophia poking her head through the doorway, the leader was focused on the phone in her hand, strolling in to stand behind the older member.

“Yeah, heading over to Y/N’s in fifteen-ish… why?”

“You seen Y/N’s latest instagram post?” Sophia asked.

Manon shook her head. She hadn’t been on social media since the night before, she slept in, waking up late and immediately had to throw herself into the shower to get ready.

“Well, you gotta see this shit.”

Sophia knealt, holding her phone out for Manon to peep at the tweet she had pulled up onscreen. The way she snatched the filipina’s phone was nothing short of urgent and stunned.

It wasn’t like Manon hadn’t seen you kiss your costars onscreen, she’s been to many movies watching you lead in a film. But this, watching this bag of bulging muscles in a tank touch you where she usually did, your hands grabbing his face as the two of you made out on a bed?

Manon had never, and I mean ever, felt such rage. She was experiencing so many emotions at once; some rationality, some discomfort, but mostly an overwhelming sense of rage.

She didn’t care. She was a jealous girlfriend. And she can say she understands as many times as she could, but she hated every single time you’d kiss, touch or feel anybody but her. She knew it was what you did for a living, but she couldn’t shed the way she felt like smashing Kit Connor’s face through a wall.

“That’s a wild ass movie your girl’s making,” Sophia scoffed, in attempts to lighten the tension.

Manon’s jaw clenched, shoving the phone back into Sophia’s chest before standing. She was now sad she had gotten her hair and outfit done all nice, because she didn’t feel like showing up to an event thrown somewhat in your honour.

“Manon…? Manon!” Sophia called after the Ghanaian woman, but she had already grabbed her purse and left the house.

When you came out of the shower, your hair wet and your body glistening, you were taken aback by the sudden pounding you heard from your condo’s door. You quickly put on your panties and one of Manon’s oversized shirts. Slipping into your slippers, you stumbled out your bathroom and to the door. Just a couple feet away from it, another round of thrusts throw you off. “I’m coming, Jesus Christ!”

Swinging your door open, you were ready to rip into whomever so disrespectfully made their presence known, but upon seeing your girlfriend, dressed all nice and looking pretty, your expression softened. “Baby, I thought you were coming—!”

She held a hand over your mouth, pushing you into your home before kicking the door shut behind her.

You furrowed your eyebrows, “Manz, what the fu—?”

“Are you fucking Kit Connor?” She immediately barked, a hand on your bare chest, backing you up towards the couch. “I get myself all nice and pretty for your party and I find out you’re macking this hunk like there’s no tomorrow?”

Your hand rested on your chest, before you were knocked onto your ass. You glanced up at your dining girlfriend, her lips pursed and her sharp brows knit together.

“Woah, woah, woah, what’re we talking about here?”

She yanked her phone out her pocket, her fingers jabbing at her screen as she pulled up your instagram page. The photos you and Kit took on set was harshly shoved into your face, you gently cradled her hand with both of yours, carefully pulling it back so you could see. She then harshly pulled her hand back, pulling up Pop Base’s tweet of a leaked onset photo.

“When the fuck did you even get these photos taken? I mean, having to do minimal stuff for work is one thing, but letting him carry you and grab your ass and your thighs and getting all close and intimate behind the scenes when you’re not even on fucking camera is so far over the line, Y/N.” she rambled, “Then I have to see you basically dry hump this man?”

You sighed, knowing it was another one of the older woman’s jealous episodes. You tried being more understanding, to listen and calm her down, knowing it was a consequence of your job.

“Baby, please, take a deep breath, okay?” You gently grab the phone from her hand, setting it down on the couch beside you. You entertained your fingers, kissing her knuckles. “What did I tell you about the rules, hm?”

With a pout, Manon’s voice dropped low, “You’re a public figure and need to get intimate with coworkers a lot.”

You hummed, nodding. “That’s right. And y’know what the best way to promote a new movie is?”

She rolled her eyes, staring away. “Dating scandals.”

“Yes, baby, dating scandals.” You tugged at her hands, pulling her down to take a seat. Her body slumped to sit on your lap, her eyes still refusing to meet yours as you fixed a loose curl from her temple. “I’m sorry you had to see that, Manz. I never do things I don’t need to. I took those pictures on a press day a while back when Kit and I were asked to do ‘behind the scenes’ photos, none of it is real.”

“Yeah, well, it looked pretty real when you were eating his face on that bed,” she huffed, “What was I supposed to think?”

You chuckled, nodding. You wrapped your arms around her waist, pulling both of you to lie back into the couch. “I know, I know, but I’m not going to the party as Kit’s date, right? He’s not the one I’ve been waiting to see all day.” You gestured at your dripping appearance, “That’s why I wanted you to come in twenty, so I could be ready and beautiful just for you, baby.”

Manon scoffed, “Yeah, you’re lookin’ real rough right now.”

You playfully slapped her at the joke, “I promise you, I am yours, truly. I don’t even care about Kit, because all I think about when I’m at work is coming home and getting to see my ridiculously beautiful and sexy girlfriend.”

That statement seemed to win Manon over, her hands coming up to cradle your cheeks. “You better swear on your life.”

“I swear on this life and the next. I love you, Manz.”

“Mmh, I love you more,” she hummed, leaning in to kiss you softly. When the two of you pulled apart, she sneered, “Is that how you kiss him too?”

You clicked your tongue, a hand reaching under her thigh to move her body so she was straddling you. “Do you really wanna know? I’ll show you exactly what Kit and I do when nobody’s looking.” you spat, earning a gasp from Manon when your hand cupped the back of her neck, yanking her down into you for a heated kiss.

It was a long night of entertaining producing executives and crew members, but you were very happy to have your girlfriend meet the people you’ve been working with for months. When it came time for you to give Kit a hug in greeting though, Manon made sure her disapproval was made known.

You had an upcoming role in the third season of the White Lotus, you were not excited about how the Ghanaian woman would react to the scenes on that show.

[whereispearlescentmoon]

I think about this a lot and I also think it’s why portraying Cleo as some kind of badass calculating threat is kind of disingenuous. Not to say she isn’t badass, she is, but often they’re kind of all bark and no bite. Cleo is ruled almost entirely by emotion, and is a big softy despite their sarcastic nature. Their alliances are built on love and trust, the idea of having someone to spend a season with rather than actually doing well strategically. There’s barely even a concept of “Someone here should win” just “We need to keep each other safe”.

You already went over the kind of breakdown Cleo had in their last Third Life episode. But I think having someone betray their trust in the very first season really sets up why Cleo is the way they are about alliances and betrayal. It’s completely unacceptable to them, there’s no coming back from it. Because Cleo loves their allies, they aren’t strategic tools, so she could never betray one.

Cleo abandoned a really solid alliance in Last Life without even stopping to see whose side Lizzie would take after the BigB thing because she felt so hurt. And then went back and burned the whole place down. The whole “I knew I shouldn’t have trusted you” “Aw you could have trusted me” exchange. And like, yeah you can trust Cleo. Cleo doesn’t betray people, Cleo is loyal and caring. But she also goes completely scorched earth when they feel like someone has thrown their loyalty and love in their face.

Cleo, for all their talk of chosen soulmates and cheating, did end up softening to Martyn and working with him in Double Life. The whole don’t die sword thing as an example, and her calling for him when she died. The hostility towards Pearl in DL was often in defense of Scott, again love and caring over the strategic value of having an additional alliance. And of course there’s the convo with Pearl at the very end of DL that shows that even if they were hostile towards each other all season, Cleo does actually care for Pearl.

Cleo: Are you alright Pearl, you’re sounding… unhinged?

Pearl: I’m doing great.

Cleo: Are you sure you’re doing great? I don’t feel like you’re doing great.

Said with like, actual sincerity on Cleo’s end.

Limited Life is also a big example. Cleo willingly acted “motherly” towards Bdubs and Scar. She burnt down the bad boys mansion in an act of pure impulsive emotion after a minor slight. They got really mad when Scar died, like silent rage going into killing mode mad, and seemed happy to be reunited in death even if it meant not winning.

In their last Secret Life episode there’s a little convo at the beginning with Etho that’s great and shows again that Cleo’s mindset towards alliances isn’t about strategy or winning, but about trust and love.

Etho: Now I’m gonna uphold my alliance still even regardless [of the task]

Cleo: *clealry taken aback* I didn’t actually think that was an issue. That was- I thought that was just taken for granted.

Etho: I know I thought, it’s just good to say these things just incase there’s any doubt.

Cleo: I’m not killing you. If it’s just you and me left then you can kill me, it’s fine.

And then we get Cleo’s heartbreaking commiseration with Pearl at the end of Wild Life after Scott died. Cleo has never had to be alive without Scott in the Life Series. What is there to do without him? But Pearl is hurting and lost too, so Cleo figures that someone has to make a decision and that decision is that at least they can still try to kill Joel.

you know was thinking about life series cleo and. for all they're frequently portrayed as the Reasonable One on their team. and indeed position themselves as the Reasonable One on their team! we must remember she died like, second, in third life. after losing two lives in a single episode. because on that last life she got bloodlust and decided to go try to stab ren when he still had like, several allies around him,

[lunebulous]

How would Xavier react to seeing you dressed as a bride?

C.w: fluff, non-established relationship, xavier x reader, sfw, corpse bride mentions, not proofread.

You and your friends were planning on having a professional photoshoot done, discussing it over the phone for months. The suggested concepts varied: one of your friends wanted to do the trend with weird poses and everybody wearing christmas sweaters; and it was quickly shut down because 2 of you didn’t celebrate christmas. Another one suggested doing it at a beach, wearing flowy dresses and posing with flowers, but everybody agreed it was too serious, not depicting the real vibes of the group.

Lexy: Come on, flowy dresses and flowers? What's this? a pregnancy shoot?!!

Sammy: nooo we could do it in a fairy wayy, pleeeease

Amely: lmao let’s do it and I’ll go dressed as the father 

After ‘going as the father’ got to the chat, one of them suggested wearing costumes, because all of you were complete nerds for different fandoms, and most of you mentioned in a recent get-together that cosplaying must be fun and you guys were interested in it. As soon as the idea got out, all of you were excited, and you chose your character instantly: Corpse bride.

It was your all-time favourite movie since childhood and you saw a lot of your sensitivity in Emily: the way she chose to believe in love even after her horrendous death, her empathy, and even the worm inside her eye socket, that you attributed to the voices inside your head. 

The thing is: you guys were already paying for a professional photographer - with a discount, thank god - the place and all the transport for six people, so you didn’t want to spend a lot on your costume. You figured some blue body paint, good makeup, some modeling clay and a cheap thrift shop bride dress would do just fine. You already had a blue wig from a previous costume party, and you were confident in your skills to make it look amazing.

The day came, and all of you were already reunited in a studio downtown owned by one of your friend's cousin, who was also the photographer. She was pretty chill with you guys getting ready, a girl’s girl, you must say.

“Oh my god, your hair is so beautiful!” She approached behind your back, hands on her lips as she looked at your hair, pin-straight cascading against your back.

You turned to look at her with a radiant smile. “Ah, you’re talking about me?! Thank you!” And immediately looked to the front again, concentrated on doing Amely’s makeup, who chose to be Lorax.

“You know, I had long hair for most of my life, but I cut it in an impulsive thought and now I miss it so bad!!!” She took a closer look. “Can I touch it?” she takes her camera from her neck, placing it on a small table next to you.

“Of course, feel free to do it! I actually love when people play with it!” You answer, smiling to your almost all-orange friend, who teases: “hm, naughty girl huh.”, earning a stare from you. “Shut up! You have no rights when you’re looking like a sucked-on mango seed!”

The photographer behind you laughs, now combing your hair with her fingers.

“You know what! I have a Kanzashi! A Japanese hair pin, you know? I bought it before cutting off my hair and never got to wear it.” She brings a stool to sit behind me. “Can I try doing an updo with it on your hair as you finish her makeup?”

“Are you sure? I’ll have to take it off to put on my wig!” You frown.

“It’s okay, I just want to see what it looks like!” She says, walking away to get it from a drawer somewhere you can’t see right now.

“I know you just called me a sucked-on mango seed but your makeup is so cute today.” Lorax- Amely said, smiling softly at you. Her yellow giant eyebrows going up and down, making you laugh.

“Aw, thank you. I forgot that I’ll be blue in 5 minutes and went all out on it. I'm even wearing my new highlighter.” The orange friend takes your head in her hands like a basketball ball to take a closer look. “Oh it really looks good”. You tilt your head for her. “Yeah it does, I found it on-” you were interrupted when Anne - the photographer - came back with her hair pin. “Found it!!”

Your other friends cheer from the other side of the room.

—

“On a studio?” Xavier mutters to himself while he looks at his watch, seeing you’re close by. “Why..?”.

He stops completely to check if you sent him a message, but the last one was you talking about how hungry you were, because you forgot to eat and had to rush to meet your friends. Sensing that you probably STILL didn’t eat anything, he thought that bringing you food would be a great excuse to know what you were doing in a studio - but most important - to see you. So that's what he did.

Now leaning on the wall, in the front of the building where the watch indicates you’re in, his head looks to the side as a short-haired woman walks out, lighting a cigar. She nods.

“Excuse me, I’m looking for someone.” He shows her a picture on his phone of you and him, in a festival. “Is she here?”

He tries to be as polite as possible, so he can get in. “I just came to bring her her breakfast, she forgot to eat today.” He starts talking too much, lifting the bag to show her the food.

“Oh yeah, she’s here. The girl with the long hair! I didn’t know she had a boyfriend. You can go in, it’s the last door to the left, second floor. Just knock.” She smiles politely, breathing out smoke in the opposite direction.

Xavier’s ears get red as he looks away, but he doesn’t deny it. “Ah-” he sighs “thank you.”

His heart is beating faster and he knows it’s because he just couldn’t bring himself to say he is NOT your boyfriend, because it’s the thing he wants to be the most right now. He presses the elevator button, trying to shake this feeling off his chest, failing.

Now he starts pondering about how people would see you two as a couple, if someday he’d get the privilege to be your man.

Would he be able to kiss you in public? You don't seem the kind of girl to like that. He'd love it. People would be sure you're his that way. Ah shit, he's whipped.

The elevator door opens.

Chapter 2 here.

[theamityelf]

Hey! I love your descendants fic so fucking much I think I’ve read them all (The Worst Is Now The Victor is like one of my all time favorite fanfics of all time), I was wondering if you had any recs for fics like yours? Specifically sea three fics that don’t villainize the sea three? Thank you!

First of all, thank you so much!

As for recommendations:

Mysterious Fathoms Below, by MissKate. This one has a really broad focus on lots of the characters and locations and concepts, but as someone who pretty much refuses to read almost anything that doesn't heavily feature Uma, I was satisfied with how much emphasis she got. The storytelling and the magic are really the star of the show, for this fic. I think probably all of the fics on this list do a really great job of bringing canon Disney characters in who don't have an established role in the Descendants movies and doing great things with them. This one did a REALLY cool thing with the Disney princesses. I made a TV Tropes page for this fic, so if you read it, you can check that out and maybe add to it, if you want.

We'll Light the Fuse, by evanescentdream93 (@edream93 on Tumblr). After D2, Ben keeps his promise to give Uma a chance. Very fun fic, and it explores the characters and world in a way I really enjoy. The elements of it that I remember most are ones I don't want to spoil, so I encourage you to read it. It's discontinued after Chapter 21, but the author provides an outline for the rest. I also made a TV Tropes page for this one, so feel free to add to that.

Til the Storm Comes and the World is Quiet, by elphaba_swan (@kindofchaoticgood). Okay, so this one is BRUTAL towards Auradon in a way I really like. The inherent violence of the situation is really interrogated, but the story starts very shortly before things are about to change, so you're not just immersing in how bad things are, if that makes sense. It's cathartic. And focuses a lot on Uma and her crew and how much they love and care for each other. I had to check to see if I made a TV Tropes page for this one, and I guess I didn't. It deserves one, though!

Without Crowns, Without Borders, by StainedGlassSpecs (@stainedglassspecs). Okay, I remember this one for having great character moments. I think the plot is that Uma and Ben are trying to open a community center on the Isle. I remember really liking it a lot and obsessing over the minor details; highly recommend! And give the author some love, because I think I got too busy to keep reading this one, and I feel bad about that. Also deserves a TV Tropes page.

Something About Her, by generic_epiphany. I'll be honest, I remember this one being DARK, but also I was definitely subscribed to this one. As I recall, it's very Huma-centric but also rather anti-Audrey. So, you win some, you lose some. But it's a good time, if you can handle some grim subject matters. (I don't know how hard to endorse this one, because I don't remember how grim it gets. As I recall, it didn't go into too much detail, but it did establish some very unpleasant things about some of the characters' pasts.)

Compound Interest, by TrueColours (@trueishcolours). Huma-centric, Harry and Uma growing up together, I won't spoil it, but it's seriously, seriously great. One chapter, over 10,000 words, really good.

NocturnaIV (@nocturna-iv) has a bunch of fics; just go ahead and check those out.

Same deal with the-knight-of-the-stars (@the-knight-of-the-stars). In particular, Children of the Reign is a cool reimagining of the characters and premise.

[thewalrusespublicist]

Hello! Love your blog and your takes, objective and sane and well researched chefs kiss! I had a blast scrolling through it like it was my feed yesterday lol can you elaborate on klaus and Paul if possible? People mostly talk about them like it’s already understood but I don’t understand 😭 I’m kinda lost on their (all of them, including stu) dynamic during the hamburg years specifically when it comes to Paul

Aww thank you anon! Tbh I was starting to feel a bit down about my blog and what I was putting out ( the eternal crisis on how to give full answers and opinions without being stupid, boring and annoying lol). So I really, really needed this. :)

Oh Paul vs/and the Exsis, it's quite a long one so buckle up.

Disclaimer: all of the people involved are essentially art kids/young adults who are famously the most exhausting people on the planet. Do not blame them for being dramatic, it's their natural state of being.

If we want to go into Paul and Klaus, we have to kind of start with the John, Paul and Stu. Now these three are a mess that's too big to go into here (though I have THOUGHTS about how Stu is utilised in the Beatles narrative that I'm more than happy to share if asked lmaooo). But in short(ish):

John and Paul had had an intense year and a bit of closeness. Then John meets Stu at art college.

John and Stu become c l o s e for many reasons (being peers, living together, similar artistic leanings + ego, Stu being a gentle guide to John, sharing art projects/poetry/long letters and feelings etc.) They became 'closer than two men' a friend had seen (remind us of anyone gang?). Most importantly, John could be open about his feelings with Stu in letters. If John had BPD which I subscribe too, I think Stu was his 'favourite person' and as Aunt Mimi said his 'special' and 'closest friend' from this period up until his death (though imho the transference back to Paul was starting prior to his death).

It's not clear what exactly happens as there's differing accounts but Stu uses his money to buy a new bass as John wants him to come to Scotland then Hamburg and play bass as he will 'look good'.

Paul doesen't like being relegated to the seat behind John and Stu when he used to sit next to John. He also isn't thrilled when he gets to Hamburg and not only does he get to sleep in the other room with just Pete but Stu cannot be arsed to play because he's hanging out with his hot new girlfriend Astrid (more on her in a sec). Our boy has spent a lot of money he doesen't have and given up on further education to be here and is jealous and annoyed.

Paul and Stu probably were friends and I think their mutual antipathy is overegged. HOWEVER, can't be denied that Paul is jealous of Stu and Stu is jealous of Paul (and getting flare-ups from increasing brain damage). John and Stu tease Paul and steal his money, Paul is mean to Stu (as are the others encouraged by John). Do I think John was playing games with both of them? Yup. They end up scuffling onstage because Paul said something about Astrid (not clear what, one account is that Paul said that Stu could borrow money off Astrid if he needed it which isn't really that bad a dig but who knows Yoko??).

Why is this dynamic important? Because it directly impacts the 'Exsis' (Klaus, Jurgen and Astrid's) group's relationship with Paul:

The Exsis were young artists living in Hamburg. They were artistic, cool, interesting and edgy. They were paramount in introducing the Beatles to cool new concepts, aesthetics and ideas. They also took themselves VERY seriously ie pretentious as all hell.

Astrid met Stu at Kaiserkeller and hit it off. They embarked on an all-consuming romance.

Letter from Stu to Astrid, c.1961

I've seen people say they were the proto-John and Yoko in terms of making their romance the whole world and influencing John years down the line and I can see that. With Astrid and Stu it's far more endearing though because they ARE young and the right age to have a relationship like that. Stu is popular with the Exsis in general and brings them into the Beatles group.

The Exsis didn't like or trust Paul. Astrid said later it was because Paul was 'too nice' which she herself admits is a ridiculous reason. The others also thought he was a bit of a show-off. It makes sense though if you're cool and edgy and want to stick it to the world to be sus about a guy being friendly show-off with seemingly no inner world. The other problem was a perfectly reasonable one imo, you're not going to like your friends frenemy who you don't connect with. Compound that with Paul not taking drugs as much as George or John and being in the other room and you begin to have a division.

Paul had been popular his whole life, like from what we know since-primary-school-popular. He had never been in this position before, let alone in a foreign country. I believe it became a bit of a brutal feedback loop. Paul's response to this type of behaviour consistently it to go more surface level, snide and passive aggressive. The natural response of any group with a designated 'ugh' person is to become more shady and exclusionary. The cycle continues and gets worse. Stu letters back home at this time says that in a shocking turn of events Paul is hated by everyone but Stu 'just feels sorry for him' (lmao OF COURSE you do Stu, its giving 'loathing' from Wicked lol). Klaus drew a lot of artwork of the early Hamburg Beatles that includes this highly unpleasant picture of Paul in 1961 which I think says a lot:

Klaus is also a musician and fancies himself a place on bass. When Stu leaves to pursue art, Klaus asks John if he could take over but John says that he thinks Paul is going to do it.

Klaus has later gone on to say that he thinks he was a better bass player for the Beatles' sound at the start and then Paul developed into being better for the group. It's one of those I cannot believe those words actually left your mouth and you are not deeply embarrased moments. But it's important to keep this desire and viewpoint in mind.

Klaus stays in touch with all of them and close to John and George, George especially. They visit Klaus on holiday in tenerife in early 60s and Klaus later draws the Revolver artwork.

This whole context of how they met and Hamburg is crucial and has to be taken into account when hearing Klaus' statements. Klaus and Paul started off with a lack of connection and with Paul on the outs, the Exsis got an incomplete view of Paul and an inaccurate snapshot of the Beatles dynamic overall. This is why when Klaus says 'Paul was always slightly apart from the others' and that 'divorce was inevitable' from early 60s we should remember that that is what Klaus is expecting to see as that's what he saw in Hamburg.

Klaus wanted to be the bass player (and was holding out hope to join a band with George and John in the 70s), was really close with George and suffers as many did with 'John Lennon aspiring boy bestie syndrome' (JABBS). Paul had what Klaus wanted and from the Hamburg experience, you could see why Klaus thought he might have an in and may have been jealous of this 'shallow' Paul of all people having the connection that he felt he should/could have with John and George. As with most sufferers of JABBS, he took John's side with everything, always refused to say any regrets about his involvement in How do you Sleep and thought Paul was fine with the song because 'he was even closer to John than [he] was. (Again Klaus to put yourself in that level of closeness with John that it's comparable to Paul is ???.) JABBS and its secondary condition PMIETGSH (Paul McCartney isn't even that good shut up) are virulent diseases that incapacitate sufferers objectivity and judgement, so it's fair to say that Klaus is a source you have to take with a pinch of salt on the early 70s period.

It seems that Klaus and Paul did get on a lot better the older they got (probably without the jealousy complication of George and John) and developed a sweet friendship. Here is Klaus' tribute to Paul for his 80th:

Here is the jam session he's talking about:

He now wants Paul to live in his house lmao so things have gotten warmer. But Klaus and Paul's dynamic is a great example of how and why natural bias, little jealousies and spats can consciously or subconsciously influence our internal narrative and why we need to be so careful about not taking one perspective as gospel.

[nostalgiacountdown]

Onodera Ritsu no Baai No.39 Summary

Hi there! This chapter released last year on December 27th! I’ve wanted to do this style of post for quite a few magazine issues, but this is the first time I’m getting around to actually doing it. I encourage you to buy Emerald magazine, which Sekaiichi Hatsukoi releases in three times a year, as well as the volume releases when possible. Summary below!

The chapter begins with Ritsu leaving Takano’s apartment the morning after the events of the last chapter, promising to come back after he’s showered and gotten dressed at his own apartment to eat breakfast with Takano.

The whole time that Ritsu is on his own in his apartment he’s having an internal monologue about his now boyfriend that keeps switching between sweet and hilarious.

While he’s in the shower, he reflects on recent events and eventually he looks at himself in the mirror, thinking back to the previous night when he sees himself covered in hickies from the neck down. (Oddly enough, these are gone by the end of the chapter despite it being the evening of the same day.) He thinks about how good the sex was the night before and how he could feel Takano’s excitement through his body. Thinking about it makes him all fuzzy and happy.

When he exits the shower, he asks himself if he and Takano are really dating now, and he concludes that their relationship has upgraded from their weird sex friend status to proper lovers. But thinking about the word “lover” gets him all hung up on the concept of dating in general. What do lovers do? How is he supposed to act from now on? He thinks back to Ch.18 when Takano said that he just wanted to be lovey-dovey/flirt with him all the time. Ritsu still doesn’t understand that line of thought months later, so being Ritsu, he sits down on the couch once he’s dressed and pulls out his phone to look up what “lovey-dovey”/flirting/whatever really means.

“Commuting together? Eating together? …Huh? We already do that, don’t we? No, no, there has to be something more to it. Giving each other presents? Going on dates? Going on overnight trips together? Sex? …Were we already dating??”

Other than the out-of-whack order in which things played out, Ritsu is realizing that they have a fairly normal relationship. He doesn’t know where to start or how to act though now that the label they're putting on it has changed.

As he sits there continuing to spiral, Hatori sends him a text. Chiaki finished his manuscript a couple of days before his extended deadline and he wants Ritsu to come in early to help him check it because it’s suspicious that it’s supposedly done. He gives up on breakfast with Takano (not bothering to actually contact Takano to say what he’s doing before he’s left the building, instead waiting to do so until he’s already out of there, bad Ritsu 😭) and heads into work.

As expected, there’s issues with the manuscript. It’s missing multiple pages. Hatori is apologetic for having Ritsu come in ahead of him to check something that wasn’t even complete, but Ritsu assures him that it’s fine. Next Kisa comes in, and then right after him is Takano, who gives a look to Ritsu that conveys that he’s not thrilled about how their day started. Although from the outside he’s acting pretty normal, Ritsu can tell that Takano is unhappy with him, only talking to him for necessary work tasks. Ritsu is still ruminating on the concept of being lovers and how he still doesn’t get it, trying to tell himself that this couldn’t be helped because they’re towards the end of the editing cycle and things are busy.

Later during the work day, Ritsu leaves his desk to go grab a drink from one of the vending machines. While by the elevator, he overhears people from other departments talking about Kurusu (the girl who confessed to Takano last chapter) and how she had come to work with bloodshot eyes as if she’d been crying. She was playing it off as hay fever, but the people gossiping could tell she was lying. Ritsu listens in until the elevator he’s waiting for arrives, and he thinks to himself how because Takano loves him and accepted his confession that she’ll never be able to be with Takano. The whole thing makes him feel awkward, but he couldn’t give up on Takano.

The next page cuts to the vending machine, and right as Ritsu goes to choose his drink, Takano swoops in and presses the button for him. Ritsu scolds him, asking him just how many times he’s going to do something like this. (I only remember him doing it on screen once in No.5) Takano still doesn’t say anything to him though, just handing him the bottle that fell from the vending machine. Ritsu starts to worry that Takano is really upset with him. He wishes that Takano would just tell him with words what was wrong, that he wouldn’t understand unless he told him. (Callback to No.21)

His thoughts shift to how it was bad of him to do what he did this morning, but just then what appears to be a high school couple in uniform walk past the front windows of the office. Ritsu can’t help but notice how natural the two of them look holding hands and smiling. (Callback to 4.5) At some point he starting thinking that things would change if they were dating, but he’s wondering if he set his expectations too high.

Cut to the end of the workday, and Takano approaches Ritsu as he exits the office building, calling out to him. Ritsu is stiff at first, bowing and telling Takano he did good today and that he’d be leaving now, but Takano just said they’d be walking home together. Ritsu is surprised, but doesn’t fight it, even agreeing when Takano asks if they can walk awhile longer today to the second nearest station instead.

There’s a shot of them surrounded by the sounds the accompany a passing train that’s reminiscent of the flashback at the end of No.27. Ritsu thinks things are awkward until Takano finally speaks up. He says something along the lines of how he doesn’t really know how to go about this whole lovey-dovey thing. Ritsu is shocked, but admits he’s in the same boat. Takano thinks it’s funny and remarks they really haven’t made any progress in terms of relationship experience in the past decade. Ritsu objects to this, saying that he’s heard from certain sources that Takano had many partners during their time apart. Takano clarifies that even if that was the case, he hadn’t had the desire to flirt/be lovey-dovey with any of those past partners. He’d only ever felt that kind of urge when it came to Ritsu. As he keeps talking, Ritsu finds himself realizing that they really (finally lol) are on the same page when it comes to their relationship.

Takano then demands that Ritsu give him some lovey-dovey scenarios as the shoujo manga editor that he is and he begrudgingly obliges. He talks about how they could commute to work together, how they could eat meals together, and how they could go on dates together. When Takano asks where they should go on dates, Ritsu lists all sorts of things: traveling, shopping, going to the movies, zoos, aquariums, amusement parks, museums, and yes, even the library. (He seems hesitant to mention it when he adds that last one.) But at the end of his list, Ritsu admits that it doesn’t really matter where they go, so long as it’s together. (Callback to something Takano said to him in No.14) Takano smiles when he says that, saying that they should absolutely do all of those things.

Right as they finish this leg of their walk, they arrive at a familiar shrine. It’s the same shrine that Takano cut through back in March on Ritsu’s birthday in No.13 to accompany him home when he was too drunk to get home on his own. He had always wanted to come here together when Ritsu was sober. Recalling the day, he says to himself that the cherry blossoms were beautiful. (The panel under those words is a younger version of themselves, Oda following closely behind Saga in their high school uniforms.)

This conversation leads to Ritsu bringing up Takano’s birthday, and he’s embarrassed about the gift that he gave him back then. The pinky promise they make happens right after the birthday mention, so it seems related to celebrating both of their birthdays properly from now on since they’re dating so long as work doesn’t interfere. The pinky promise turns into holding hands, and then it cuts to them still holding hands, having arrived at the front doors of their apartments.

Takano asks which apartment they should go into, but he ends up wanting to go to Ritsu’s so he can use the spare key he has for it now. (This is the first time we’ve seen him use a key of his own to get into Ritsu’s apartment. It seems he really did receive one between No.35 and 36 when he was staying at Ritsu’s apartment temporarily, although it was never directly shown.) A lot of emphasis is put on this scene, with a racing heartbeat sound effect playing throughout until Takano finally unlocks Ritsu’s front door. He tugs Ritsu in behind him and immediately starts kissing him and working on removing his clothes.

The next page cuts to them in the bathroom naked together. They’re sitting on the ledge of Ritsu’s bathtub touching each other. They’re kissing, Takano is playing with Ritsu’s nipples, and Ritsu is rubbing both of their dicks together with his hands.

Takano decides to pull away, kneeling on the floor in front of the tub to give Ritsu a blowjob. Ritsu was close already and it didn’t take long at all for him to cum. Takano says that it’s Ritsu’s turn now, and they swap places, Ritsu now kneeling on the floor in front of Takano.

Ritsu starts giving Takano a blowjob, but there’s a lot more going on here lol. Takano is tweaking each of Ritsu’s nipples and also using his feet to give him a foot job. (I’m not sure how he’s balancing, it’s weird lol) It’s going well enough until Ritsu looks up at Takano with his mouth still full and both his hands around Takano’s dick, saying a weirdly muffled version of Takano-san that comes out more like “Taka…no-hya…” because his mouth is pretty busy.

Ritsu calling his name so erotically combined with sight of his with half-lidded eyes, blush all over his face, and his mouth somewhat open with his tongue covered in pre-cum seems to be too much for Takano, because right after he’s cumming like crazy. Ritsu can’t pull back fast enough, and Takano’s cum is shot all over his face, hair, neck, chin, and chest. Calling back to the time Ritsu gave Takano a facial in No.24, Ritsu says that they’re even now, following that up by asking if it felt good.

Takano says that it did, because how else would he have cum like that? Ritsu is happy, fist pumping and says something along the lines of “I did it…I’m so glad…” (This is the first time we’ve seen Ritsu fully get Takano off with a blowjob on screen before. His blowjob training arc is coming to an end 10 real life years later lol.)

The sight of Ritsu being so happy that he was able to make him feel good gives Takano cuteness aggression and he blushes a bit. He swears and grabs Ritsu off of the floor and drags him onto his feet, kissing him. Moments later he pulls them backwards until they’re falling into the bathtub together. He gives Ritsu the option to stop now, or go all the way. Ritsu says that he’s unfair, and they continue having sex, now in the tub. Ritsu is on Takano’s lap, but I’m not really sure who’s doing most of the movement. I feel like it could be argued that he’s riding Takano here, but there’s not many pages to clarify that. 😂

On the last page of the sex scene, Takano says he loves Ritsu twice, the second time receiving a “…me too...” in response. 💖

On the very last page of the chapter, they’re cuddled up together in the bathtub, still talking about the concept of lovey-dovey. In a callback to No.19, Takano says that it’s a difficult concept. But Takano basically says that it’s okay since it’s only their first day together, and they have time to figure things out together now that they're dating. 😇

The End ✌️

Sekaiichi Hatsukoi’s next chapter will be released at the end of April, the contents of the chapter unconfirmed at the moment! Takano and Ritsu are on the next magazine issue’s front cover, but that unfortunately doesn’t confirm anything yet lol. Stay tuned for more info. 💖

[victory-cookies]

hey remember we were fools? I sure do. Sometimes it gets kudos and I feel bad

[fumifooms]

What if we were both magic prodigies and it otherized us in different ways and we devoted ourselves to protecting a family member who has general other goals & priorities. What if we both did self-sacrifical devotion in opposite ways.

What if we were dark mirrors of each other and where I've grown overcontrolling you've grown complacent. What if, bought as a servant into a pretty loving home, ownership and control is what love looks like to me, and to you neglected and lonely growing up, love is gratefully taking any scraps of it you’re lent.

By belonging to someone, even if she comes back injured or fails at finding Delgal, she feels like she belongs and is cherished, by owning someone he feels safe in them not leaving him.

She’s what’s tethering him do you see… And he’s the only thing giving her direction and purpose in her state. She needs a compass and he needs a support.

They’re both so out of it 😭 It’s the weirdly intense and unearned mutual trust and reliance on each other?? They’re each other’s weird little comfort codependent teddy bear. Or at least they were headed towards that before SHE DIED THEN HE DIED THEN THEY BOTH FORGOT ABOUT EACH OTHER AND NEVER MET EVER AGAIN. Though she’s also the guard attack hound keeping him safe… And vice versa he heals her and can rewrite her very being with just one wave of his hand. They’re both so so mentally and physically vulnerable both but they cling onto each other. They can’t perceive things accurately but despite it all someway somehow they stumble into something closer to resembling companionship just before they both die. Falin is just that kind and Thistle is just that lonely. Overworked.

We both haven’t lived for ourselves in a very long time, haven’t we.

They both have a similar devotion to the people they love but again the difference is that Thistle starts overtsepping while Falin is self-effacing. The other difference between them is that people care about Falin <3 People have given up on Thistle long ago, and he has given people reasons to, while people refuse to give up on Falin. Yaad has a mini arc about it dw about it it’s ok he’s not all alone in the end 😭😭 He reached out for Marcille’s hand but they already all wanted to help him, they just had to be given the chance to, Yaad just had to be given the chance to, it’s okay I’m okay

Hey what if we learned to get in touch with our own identity and the world around us and living in the present again through being in the worst codependent situationship ever.

Falin and Thistle sitting in a tree, sucking on flowers together because they’re h-u-n-g-r-y 💕💕💕

I bet he’s only ever thought of flowers as useless ornaments. Weak weeds. But she shows him they’re tasty and useful and good and pretty in their own right too and deserve existing without proving their worth and waaa <33 Thistles…... Did you know thistles taste sweet if you remove the thorns and eat them?

"Even as a chimera, her kind nature remains" you can’t suppress her in the way that matters. You can’t soothe him in the way that matters. It’s doomed. You’re doomed. It’s all doomed. Save me.

[pup-pee]

hi this is a post saying i will not b online((or try)) until i get my g.e.d.

i love u all if i uh, yk never return

hugs hugs many sweet dreams & good mornings!

[stemacademics]

small update

ok so um I got my number theory paper today, and the TA had cut marks for me because i left the answer at 66^2 and not 4356 (fermat's little theorem) 😔 I even wrote the full proof

my friend told me I should mail the TA about this, I got 14/20 and should be getting 17or18/20 😔

scores aside, number theory is so much fun, so much fun. the only good thing here is that I know the concepts well, and I fully knew the paper (still fucked it up, because I'm so frickin slow while writing and time). and it hurts worse because there's not enough proof that validates my knowledge. which in turn makes me question if i actually do have any.

I am, in general, a person who does well in concepts but screws up the exams (70% of the time) and I'm trying, I'm trying to get myself out of this "exam paniK" that I often spiral into, just minutes before the exam. I hope I change and grow; I hope, I hope.

[jackass-jones]

Really into the episode of Ouran where this girl confesses her love to Mori but he doesn’t feel the same because he’s into Honey and the girl’s reaction is just like YIPPEE I LOVE YAOI THATS SO COOL FOR YOU YAY 🥰

[cowboy-robooty]

okay. calling all yandereheads. does anyone know any stories that has a yandere but like they have a sidekick (that doesnt really want to be their sidekick but is forced into it and decides to make the most of their situation and ends up acting like a silly friend to them) and at first they hate their sidekick and want their ass dead but keep em around bc their sidekick helps them stalk their crush but then the story does a switcharoo where the yandere realizes sidekick is their #truelove and goes yandere for sidekick

[blujayonthewing]

so in juniper's campaign we've just found ourselves in a high-stakes situation that I as a player do frankly find stressful and am anxious about, but hey hi also the DM was like 'okay here are the exact mechanics of how this is going to work because I don't want to surprise you with serious repercussions, also here are all the options you will have to try to do something about the situation-- [affected player] what do you think? honest feedback, I don't want it to feel unfair, I want to be clear that I am not just trying to kill your character, and if it ends up being badly balanced we can revisit it down the road' and oh my god I could COLLAPSE and WEEP with gratitude

[todayisafridaynight]

Since you mentioned it, what did you think of Speak No Evil? I was thinking of watching it myself :0

i really liked it ............ my friend scoffed at me when i told her i was watchin it so take my opinion with a grain of salt tho </3

[unproduciblesmackdown]

"normal" meaning "unquestionable" & the embrace of that cropping up anywhere such as an aim to be on the unquestionable side of a Normal / Weird binary, thus surely being a comfortable effortless indelible version of Good that stems from "just be normal"

ppl out here like freud 2.0 where well they had the sufficiently normal Nuclear Household family(tm) experience so they're sufficiently normal for it, versus the weirdos who had the Questionable family times so as to end up with Issues, surely unlike all those who are Family Issue free, i.e. normal, no question. like how also Going To School is Normal, so of course there's that idea that anyone who didn't go to school normal style or did but Did That Wrong are the people made Weirder with Issues. & when what's Normal is what's Good is what's Unquestionable it's like why would i need to question it when it's so normal? why wouldn't some rando asshole nepo man be Meritous & Good at business when he's so Successful at it. speaks for itself, same as Your role of being treated entirely differently does, this can't be questioned, blame it on your own failures; again how the supposedly "questionable" experiences (unlike other ones, which need no Legitimate questioning) are pathologized like. people talking about disabled ppl's lacking "social skills" being this meaningful Driver of ableism just like poor people's lacking "financial literacy" being that darn cause of classism & resource extraction, the already Questioned vulnerable [you're just doing it wrong / failing] people are the cause of their own mistreatment, Normal people who are so socially & financially successful are helpless, this victim blaming (can't question it. Normal) sure totally doesn't speak to abuse being "normal" as well

which, good thing abuse totally isn't Normal i.e. in the territory of unquestionable things (with, obviously, the idea that Abuse (Real abuse, if you like) must be Exceptional in addition to, if not to Really be, "obviously" questionable) since if something can't be questioned then surely it's also How Things Were In The Beginning, Are Now, & Ever Shall Be (catholic prayer paraphasing re: god, for referential context) & there's just nothing to do but invest in & play into it For Success & resent / punish / try to eliminate disruption, like people just existing but doing it Weird, c'mon, be a better person please, obviously....meanwhile people out here approaching queerness in a way that accepts & acts according to the unquestionable normal of abuse of queerness, such that oh the "abnormality" of being queer (that is, "normal" people's abuse in the face of awareness of queerness) is unquestionable, such that Oh No, investment in that abuse now & forever world without end amen, & now punching down on the people who are just Being Weird & Disrupting this embrace of the norm: radfems invested in "all bodies will be classed as men & women & the former abuse the latter" & hate women who already disrupt this premise; pointing out ace exclusionism as terf logic just applied in the different context where queer vs nonqueer binary is neatly detected just as the gender binary is & people who already prove that & the way it's defined is not the case are the real problems, infiltrating Unquestionable (Normal) Queerness & delegitimizing it i.e. being The Cause of e.g. homophobic abuse, which will also unquestionably exist, so if we're gonna blame someone as Needing To Change it'll have to be uhhh already also affected Weird people who are ruining things, they're the Real causes of this abuse, so they're basically men, basically cis, basically straight. boooo to trans ace bi pan aro nonbinary gnc people....hardest to be binary gender "same sex" "romantic" "visible" Truly Queer couple currently holding hands in public or in front of family, & it's You Mfs who make it harder, not, yknow, the people who were already always embracing & perpetuating the abuse bolstering Normal(tm) Cishet Just Being Normal. and of course don't forget going after poly people & others disrupting / not accepting premises about Unquestionable Relationship Structures/Requirements. so not just being normal

also the beloved concept broken out that, of course, Being Normal = Being Good, b/c hello, unquestionable?? where it's like meaningless ideas that abuse is Abnormal like ":( hurt people hurt people" (inherently a framing to counter any response to [person is hurting me] that's not silent secret sympathy forever i guess. nobody's using this catchphrase to argue for Hey Quick let's all intervene to stop someone being hurt, lest they go on to hurt anyone themselves) like & yet everyone is hurt, yet not everyone is doing shit where these arguments are broken out after they're already getting away with nonsense & we're telling others to just stop complaining, while also not everyone isn't getting shit on for being "disruptive" & perchance the real hurtful problems for trying to Stop being shitted on, or just have a little more breathing room to day to day live while it happens. everyone's hurt bitch let's get you some "what's the actual patterns & context of supported power imbalance made emergently evident by whose choices & life are constrained & undermined & made smaller" like. or the expanded idea as that well all abuse comes from Being abused, i.e. the Cycle, never mind that abuse is everywhere as per its being Normal, & nobody's intervening every time it manifests despite its supposed exceptionality thus rareness & supposed indication that someone's Being abused to cause it. just gotta roll with it, wow. & pathologize being victim to it, abuser in the making, Vulnerable People are dangerous, those insulated & given more access to systemically backed power in an oh so Normal way are surely oh so Safe as well. the very rich families are all lovely havens. the abused people are treated so well & embraced & supported by all the more Normal people they encounter, certainly not Also isolated, bullied, victim blamed by these Normal friends family coworkers new partners randos in public randos who are "professionals"

but yknow uh literally just be normal lol. aaand post. and like "lol being Anti Being Normal? just like a weirdo" like yeah of course. and what, i'm gonna try to win the heart & mind of someone like "of course you have blue hair & pronouns" & convert them, as would definitely happen if only all transgenderists were Normal about it? and the perspective of "what Unquestionable Good is ever actually coming from striving to get to point at Others as Weird" involves going like "nooo i wanna see myself & be seen as Just Being Normal" instead of like having ideas / arguments about how to be considerate towards people which can be articulated in any other way & involve effort & said consideration (ft. anything able to be questioned)

[icewindandboringhorror]

It always seems a bit unbalanced on The Great Food Truck Race when there will be multiple teams who are cooking a wide variety of complex dishes with 10 different components and a bunch of prep work, and then there's that one team who like... exclusively serves plain crepes with some premade nutella on them, or plain waffles with just some whipped cream and cut up strawberries lol...