#but I dont mean any hate towards anyone i respect you all

[fuutaprotectionsquad]

Am I the only one who doesn't think Shidou's gonna snap at Amane? Like ive seen so many people taking his "it's my job as an adult to teach you that throwing a temper tantrum isn’t going to make everything go your way" line as indication that he's going to hurt her in some way and like?? What, is he not allowed to be annoyed that she's literally threatening him? That doesn't mean he's gonna beat her up. He literally follows this by saying "If it’s a test of endurance you want, I’m happy to oblige." Aka "I'll continue as I have been." I don't think he's going to do anything to her. In fact, it'd be more in character if he let her kill him. Which, with the way he's making sure theres someone else to handle Mahiru + the kids if he's not there (Yuno / Kazui), it's totally possible he's preparing to die or be gravely injured by her.

I've seen a few people dismiss Amane's threats towards him because "if he can't defend himself against a child, thats on him" and I- Firstly, the victim blaming mentality on that one is baffling. Secondly, has Milgram taught you nothing about underestimating children?? And finally, Shidou still sees Amane as a kid, he's not gonna fight back. Do you know how hard a fight is when you're trying not to hurt the other person, who has a weapon and also will not hold back like you are? I'd imagine it's pretty difficult.

The Shidou hate has gotten so unreal its almost funny. Like the people saying he doesn't actually care about / value the opinions of children. As though he doesn't go out of his way to ask Muu how Haruka (a child) is doing because he's worried about him. As though he doesn't have two timeline conversations about how he believes children are hope for the future. As though he doesn't admit to being upset that Amane doesn't like him, and then proceed to get sentimental on her birthday. Not to mention that he says he specifically wants a child like Es to tell him he's guilty, instead of the law.

And people saying he doesn't care about Mahiru / is being forced to help her. Meanwhile he's literally risking his life to do so, and has no reason to listen to anyone telling him to if he didn't genuinely want to. Someone said something about his smoke break with Kazui showing that he didn't value Mahiru's health because he was... taking a break?? And that if she was in such dire health that he couldn't handle much else in the prison, he shouldn't be taking that break. Even though we've seen that Mahiru doesn't need to be monitored 24/7, and has Yuno to help even if she did. Because news flash, people need to take breaks in order to function? That's the point of the timeline, Kazui telling him to rest and not overwork himself.

I just. take psychic damage every time someone grabs a random Shidou line/action and twists it to make him seems like a selfish asshole. Like by all means, you can hate Shidou, I don't particularly care for him myself. But at least hate him for reasons that are actually canon to his character.

Its likely something will happen with Shidou in T3 that makes him seem more guilty. Thats just how Milgram is, he seems really innocent now so they'll sprinkle in a lil guilty to keep it balanced. But Milgram also doesn't switch up characters out of the blue, every new reveal is led up to. I'll be genuinely surprised and probably kinda annoyed if he ends up hurting Amane or Mahiru purposefully.

[nemesyaaa]

bones and all au // rafe cameron x reader

summary : “ you're so handsome when I'm all over your mouth. ” strangers by ethel cain.

warnings : if you were not comfortable with the movie by luca guadagnino, don't read this !! mature plot. a lot lot lot of blood. sick and gore attitude. cannibalism used as a form of love. strangers/ode to eaters by ethel cain muse. smut. pomegranate used as a metaphor of cannibalism. jealousy. mentions of organs and anatomy. some b&a refs but you can read it without watching the movie. violence. minors DNI. +18.

author's note : crdits to @starfxkrreloaded for this au. you can reach for her ode to eaters au which is very insane ! please, i know this is very twisted but don't send hate or be mean in the comments. if you dont want to read something like that, it's your right and i respect it, just scroll. to the rest, hope you will enjoy. it's my first time writing something like that so i'm kinda nervous. and by the way, the movie is very beautiful, taylor russell was incredible in this. i highly recommend you.

you lived in an old house in the midwest, the southern gothic type with an empty fridge, broken stairs, carcasses of eaten animals in the garden, a tv too old to be turned on, a radio player too damaged to be listened to , a completely dirty kitchen with dishes full of dishes in the sink, and nasty dirts on the floor. there was also that damn lamp that flickered and came on every other time, that icy water that froze your bones, that cold tiles that creaked under your feets. the windows were rarely open but when they were, the shutters slammed against the wind, your underwear hung over the radiator. but you really liked this place, in fact, it was the only place you could call home without wanting to collapse in tears.

you had your headphones on in that empty quiet space, and a probably dead singer in your ears living through your swaying body. you found this pomegranate on the table while searching. it was intact, still shiny and full of good things.

you didn't need a knife when you had a hungry beast inside you to cut the fruit with your teeths. you had dug your molars inside the seeds, directly into the fresh and virgin skin, opened the eviscerate flesh, tearing away everything you can with your mouth, the still delicious juice ready to feed your thirst and starved your hunger.

you smelled the fruity and juicy scent through your nose, splitted open the pomegranate, discovering the clean and clear inner bones, a pretty red color, even more oozing and sublime than your blood, a perfect complexion reminiscent of the sanguinary meat of your anatomy. your tongue and teeth were sunk in, completely buried in the dripping morsel. your face and cheeks were full of it, shining onto your dirty and sticky fingers. the juice burst, squeezed in your hands as you devoured this fruit, the liquid of which flowed, dripping down your neck and chest, slipping toward your tummy like an unstoppable river.

you were bad as a demon, but nothing stopped you. you bit and bit like a mad dog into the flesh of the fruit like a piece of meat, extracting with your molars everything that you could recover and stuck in your throat.

the more you ate, the more the fruit bled. but you heard nothing, no lamentations. nothing could stop you from eating, from the rage beating. it was sickly, obscene and depraved.

you looked like such an innocent thing, but inside you, there was nothing like that. and you couldn't fool anyone with your tears and your regrets, because you didn't have any.

you had dropped the pomegranate on the ground, there was nothing left except a broken corpse. you had consumed everything from the flesh to the bones, from the skin to every part.

your dress was stained. you stank of pomegranate as much as sin. there was nothing good in you, and above all, there were too many people in you.

rafe had come home in the night while you were waiting in the armchair in the living room, with this juice stuck to your body. you hadn't moved. for some reason you were faithful to your partner. maybe because he scared you, or because you understood that without him you couldn't survive.

he had thrown the key in the table and came before you.

he came toward you in the same state you had seen him for the first time, covered in blood and with glowing blue dilated eyes. you knew that he had eaten, that he had devoured someone because he was not like you. rafe was worse. he understood that nature was to kill but beyond that, it was something he was trying to teach you as your mentor. that we should not regret giving in to impulses, that if we did not listen to them, they would end up killing us.

that we were originally monsters, and that we had to deal with it. you didn't know if he was telling the truth, if he was right. but he was taller than you. you found a maturity in him that fascinated you, that forced you to listen to him.

he had taken off his shirt, and you looked up at his face. he smelled of blood, that strong, metallic smell that you could sniff from several meters away but especially his because you knew him by heart.

“jesus, don’t look at me like that. you wanted to stay at home, i didn't force you to. ”

“it was a girl. what was she like? did you like it ? ”

you didn't know if it was jealousy, or curiosity. you just knew you didn't like knowing he was with some girls even if it wasn't going to last.

with a smirk but at the same time terribly cold face, he answered you. "if you're that jealous, use that energy and mouth to taste it. maybe, you will have some answers. ”

you got up from the chair to join him. you didn't want to share him, even though you knew there was only you in his life. you knew it because since you knew him, he had never talked about his family, nor contacted relatives in the payphone. then, he rarely spoke about his private life. he often made fun of you, because it was more your type of thing to open up about personal moments. you never knew if he was really listening to you but he stayed until the end of your speech.

eagerly, you kissed him, that girl’s blood sliding against your lips, your mouth capturing rafe’s in a kiss, as your cheeks crushed against his bloody face. “ mine, mine.” you whispered, pushing your tongue against his. “ clean that blood, babe. i can't be yours if she's still here. ” he had slipped his hands under your skirt, pressing the flesh of your ass. he had a ring on, the cold metal playing against your skin. you could smell it, just like what he had eaten before coming home.

he sat on the probably moldy and torn couch in your living room, you were almost his height now that you were sitting on top of him. you were hungry, as much for him as for sex. he made you feel so many things, or it was this jealousy, this thirst within you that made you so hungry. you weren’t really sure.

you took one of his fingers still covered in blood, the recent taste of raw flesh now in your cavity. he had pushed his thumb deeper in your mouth, making you suck the pulp properly. the liquid bleeding against your tongue, as his flesh quickly brushed your cavity, your drooling lips curved around him. he pushed it in until he felt your throat.

he was playing with fire, he was playing with you, because he knew you could bite him at any moment but he had also conditioned you not to.

“so, how is it? ”

“nothing tastes better than you.” you simply replied. “ right ? nothing can be as good as me. ” he said in a mocking tone.

he had undone the strap of your dress, revealing one of your tits which he had taken in his palm before taking it in his mouth. your nipple was pressed between his teeth, your skin trapped in his hand as he sucked on your piece of flesh, pinching it only ever so gently in his mouth. he still had remnants of blood, slipping between your body and his tongue.

there was something sensual between this slow sucking, fast suction of the tongue around your throbbing nipple, your spiraling stomach against the void, the movement of his adam's apple in his throat while he tasted every beads of your boobs. rafe was good at it.

he pressed your tits, grabbed them tightly and firmly against his palm, nibbling the tip, caressing the pulp, kissing the flesh. and maybe if he had bitten into it, you would have cum instantly.

his hand was on you, covering your body in blood and sweat, tracing your figure with his soiled and bloody fingers like a canva, letting them run over your skin like a paintbrush.

he was hidden by your sucked breasts. and you wanted him full. you had started to grind against him, even with your underwear separating you from him and his piece of jeans, you managed to be completely soaked on him. your hips moved in motion, lifting delicately like a porcelain doll too afraid of getting hurt.

you were no worse than him, and he was no worse than you. you were both terrible people. there was no hierarchy among people like you.

but the first time you saw him, in that shirt full of blood, with that mouth so red and that oozing dripping neck.

it was dark, but you knew very clearly what he had done, and perfectly well who he had eaten. you had observed it and you had not seen a monster. you weren't afraid.

he wasn't mean and monstruous, just indifferent.

"if you want to eat, that man is still over there." he said simply, not trying to hide or deny what you were seeing.

and you liked it. you instantly liked it.

“ you're the one who interests me.”

“you know the drill, we don’t eat each other.”

“i mean, will you let me come with you?”

"listen to me carefully, i don't have the face of a babysitter, nor the skills to do so. get by, you may be a minor but if you're old enough to do what you do when mom and dad have their backs turned, i swear, you can get through this on your own. ”

“i’m an adult.” you cut him off.

“your age was a nice excuse for me to tell you that i’m not interested. i bet you're an adult. ”

you had followed him when he approached his pickup. "i wouldn't bother you. but i need help. i mean, this is new to me. i don't do this often while you seem to be experienced. i want.. .i want to be like you, not to be afraid of that.”

“what makes you think i’m the right person for this?”

“you may not necessarily be the right person, but you’re the one I want.”

“you know, i already have a lot of problems, i don’t need a burden on all of them.”

“please. i won’t be one. you have my word.”

"you really don't give me a choice. come up crybaby, but if you bother me, i won't hesitate to abandon you, no matter where."

you nodded. it was going back, but in the meantime, you had traveled to many states of america, and probably left a pile of corpses on your way. even though it hadn’t been easy, he had taught you how to drive.

one cold summer night, in the darkness of a tent in the middle of nowhere, you hadn't managed to sleep. but when you opened your eyes, rafe wasn't sleeping either.

“you should sleep, you’re the one driving tomorrow. ”

“you want to know who my first victim was? "

"i guess even if i don't care, you're going to tell me. so go ahead. knock me out, tell me something your little lips haven't told me yet. and don’t say victim, you're much an innocent thing than a killer. but don’t worry, i'm about to raise you very well. ”

his hands had gripped your hips to position you above him. “but for now, tell me about your boring story, maybe it will help me sleep.”

you had told him a lot of your past. the first time you had eaten someone, the babysitter your father had hired who had ended up torn apart on the floor and another part in your mouth. oh it really wasn't beautiful. and this time, in the summer camp where a boy had mysteriously disappeared because you had devoured him in the woods. and that friend at school whose finger you swallowed. it was stronger than you. you needed to eat.

and rafe was the only one to understand it.

the most intimate moments in a relationship should be sex, but for the two of you it was different. it was when you ate together, when you both had blood around your mouth, that you could taste his, and he could taste yours. when there was this connection between you.

he was a different eater from you, he was bestial and cold, sinking his teeth straight into the flesh, tearing off the parts of the body one by one. his bites were mean and cruel. the way, his teeths pulled the organs, the ribcage. you watched him, his hungry raging mouth embracing the darkness of his needs, ripping all the raw meat out roughly. oh the blood, it leaked into every corner of his pretty and bloody lips that you wanted to kiss so badly, to feel the liquid and flesh filling and consuming the space of your throat and your tongue as your body swallowed everything he gave you. oh how much, rafe loved to feed you directly in the mouth, letting you suck the flowing red wet all around his jaw, and down his neck to the cool grass. he was beautiful. insanely handsome. but also, so scary.

his skin was covered in a red, metallic coat. his eyes were consumed with pleasure, while devouring the body of your victim.

he was very different from you, who was more delicate in your movements, or rather clumsy. your bites were messy, your touches lighter, even with the blood all over you.

but it was in those moments that the sex was the best afterwards. when his tongue, still red and famished with blood, circulated over the skin of your stomach, leaving a reddish river against your flesh.

and it went even further than that, when he found himself lost between your legs, his warmth muscle completely buried inside you, lapping your soaked folds, licking you like a starving man, his mouth pressed around your sloppy wet cunt. your juices dripping against his open wided mouth and jaw, the throbbing of your clit against his nose, the way your beating pussy smeared the blood across his lips and cheeks every time he entered and devoured your delicious slick.

since you didn't eat each other, it was your only way to feed him, to make him taste you. you didn't know if he loved your taste but in any case his tongue always came back to find you, to fuck that cunt, lodging itself between your soggy walls.

he forced you to keep your thighs apart, one hand resting on your bruised tummy which contracted every time you felt him on your core.

your legs shaking around his shoulders, the way his bloody mouth nibbled on your clit. you moaned in the middle of this abandoned place. you could shout as loud as you wanted, no one would come, no one would hear you.

you loved feeling his large hands on your bruised skin, especially after eating, because they were dirty and sloppy. you let your tongue clean the blood stuck to his fingers, the drops falling into your mouth.

it was strange how love can be perceived for everyone. ever since you were a child, you have been unable to show affection without hurting people. when you loved someone, it was tragic because you had this need to devour and consume them, to make them a part of you, to make them live within you.

but for rafe, it was different.

you were total opposites. and even though you lived together, you wondered if he felt things for you. if he had ever been in love.

because you liked to think that the way he kept you around, the way he let you stay with him at night, the way he always came home, and was open to doing all these things with you, that was his way to show you that you mattered to him. you even wondered if he came back every night because he couldn't let go of you. yet, at the beginning of your relationship, he wouldn't have hesitated.

here, in this rickety house, you didn't pay rent. it belonged to one of your victims. you always did that, you killed people, and robbed them of their belongings. you took their money, clothes and possessions. you were stealing the lives of these people. at first you felt guilty but now you feel nothing. it was life.

“i love you. ” you told him, as you straddled him on your shared bed, your fists curled in the pieces of sheets. “i really love you, rafe.” you were moaning and feverish, every inch of his thick cock buried in your core, hitting your spot.

while you were bouncing on him, your ass slapped against his muscular thighs. he grabbed your breasts moving over his face, as his dick was ruining you, each of his thrusts destroying your canal. you were as tight as the first time he fucked you in the back of the pickup. he gripped your ass, pinching the flesh.

he wrapped his hand around your throat before losing his face in your neck, his mouth kissing that immaculate part of your body. he placed kisses, before lightly sinking his teeths into your skin, nibbling and sucking on this skin offered to him, while you continued to take him just below him. “yea, you love me. ” with a hard stroke further into you. “still fucking tied to me. ”

and he wasn't wrong, you were so glued to him, completely submissive. he was inside you, filling you completely, every part of his length stuck to your walls, parting your pussy lips, your moans muffled above his head as your arms wrapped around his back. you were desperate and whimpering, the wet sounds of your repeated moans echoing around the room.

you could feel the twitch of his stomach against your skin, the perfect harmony of your two bodies in sync, he speared you violently with his fat cock, let you hear his grunts and heavy breathing against your neck, coming straight from his throat.

you were sweaty and noisy, like one of his victims, but most of all, you were his, his hands all over your body like a prize. every touch was possessive, your head tilted back, and his mouth melted onto your jaw. he fucked you roughly, making you bounce on him and cry.

his blue eyes shone in the darkness of the room. they were on you, in a perfect focus.

“do you love me? " you asked him, your body going through trembling spasms, your skin covering his. you were desperate and suffocating. your breaths were rapid and frantic.

he moved your head with his hand on your throat, his gaze flickering above your collarbones. you felt like you were pretty with the importance his pupils gave you.

you wondered if he had ever wanted to eat you alive, because after all, even if you were an eater, you were still easy prey.

and maybe even sometimes you fantasized about what he could do, because you wouldn't have minded seeing him dug his teeth into your flesh like meat, seeing him consume you one by one, your bones getting sucked, your blood spurting against his tooth.

you would have loved to sacrifice your body to feed him, to be that pomegranate to him, to see him smile through your organs, to see his belly swell because you were in a thousand pieces inside.

you would have loved for him to eat you alive, because you knew rafe would have done it out of love.

“ don't leave me or i will eat you. ” you said to him, his hands brushing your hair like a lover. “ every part of you. like you taught me. ”

“ bones and all ? ”

“ bones and all, my love. ”

and he smiled, fucking smiled all over your kisses, his lips covered yours.

“ then, what are you waiting for ? sunk those teeths in me. scared for what, babe ? nothing that you have not tasted before.”

[audioroleplayconfessions]

i dont want to reveal my identity (youll see why in a sec lol) so im saying this here rather than my main account cause im relatively well known in redacted tumblr (annnd im a pussy and this is sort of weighing on me a bit).

i dont know how to say it but there are these chats?? like mainly on discord and instagram and i think some other places too (idk i dont have twitter or x or whatever but i think theres one there too) where people have lists of these accounts they dont like and resolve to 'punish them'. im sure im explaining this terribly but i cant really say much without the people in these chats instantly knowing who i am and adding me to their insane hate pile puritan police bullshit.

i got added to one of the discord chats in august by a mutual from a redacted server i was in (not the main one like some fan one from tumblr) and genuinely? it is fucking insane. think genuine csi shit. like sorting people into who supports 'problematic ships' and 'supports problematic characters' or who are 'rape apologists' or even just 'icky' and genuinely allocating certain people to harass and threaten them. and i mean seriously organising. as in scheduling when to spam anons or making hate posts or trying to work out their real identities to 'drill the lesson in' (actual quote).

whats worse is that many bigger accounts in the fandom are in these chats. like people ive been friendly with for months (if not years) who i thought were cool, but then act completely different there. i wont name drop or anything, mainly to respect the rules of this blog and preserve my own identity (cause god knows they dont deserve that after some of the shit theyve said and done), but if youre in redacted tumblr, you defintely know at least some of them. 100% you do.

ive gone out of my way to warn some of these accounts ive seen on there frequently (so if you got an anon warning you about these chats hello!! its me!!) but i cannot understate how fucking crazy they are. not only do these supposed 'progressive accepting people' resort to misogyny, transphobia, homophobia and racism (esp this one, jesus the slurs) towards any account they dont like, they also genuinely view themselves as these insane moral authorities set on 'cleansing the fandom of the filth' (another actual quote from one of the discord chats. i genuinely had to take a lap after reading it bc it was so cringe and insane it physically hurt)

i swear im telling the truth with this btw, i know it sounds so stupid and unbelievable but i just needed to get it out of my system because ive been lurking in this chat and i feel kinda responsible for all the hate these poor people are getting, since im not standing up against them. so to anyone whos received heavy hate for 'problematic opinions' im really fucking sorry man. i shoulda tried to put a stop to it but there were so many big accounts there i was afraid of getting ostracised from the community or targeted myself.

anyway, point is. be careful. watch ur faves. and god, everyone in this moral brigade stop being so fucking demented. youre making this unfun for everyone.

(thank you for giving a space for me to speak about this btw bc i genuinely dont know how i wouldve told people widescale otherwise. i really appreciate the space you provide for us all <33 )

.

[zeltqz]

𝐖𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄𝐒 [𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐀𝐌𝐏𝐄𝐃] SEVEN

pairing. ex!ran x fem!reader

word count. 9.6k

series synopsis. bonten is forming and in the midst of it all, you find yourself caught in the sticky webs of your ex boyfriend and current bonten executive, haitani ran.

content. buckle up guys, there's a LOT. detailed drug descriptions gun play; shion puts a gun to rans head, TW FOR DRUGS!!!! reader does drugs, sanzu injects drugs like a lunatic, mentioned whorehouse, gambling, sanzu and mochi talk badly about women so tw objectification.

a/n: really decided to amp up the plot in this hope you guys enjoy forreal. some shion backstory + dona too and at the end there's a special cameo at the end HEHEHEHEHEE. oh and please pls pls read the content warning above before reading, ik some ppl arent comfortable with drug mentions or guns in stories so i dont want to make anyone uncomforable ://

Shion’s eyes kept darting towards the clock by his bedside table every five seconds to see if he was reading the time correctly or not.

 It’s almost midnight and you disappeared almost seven hours ago with his car, shrugging on your jacket and thanking him with a kiss on the cheek—not even the lips—for letting you borrow his car. 

He wanted to ask where you were going but briskly bit down on his tongue, choosing on trusting you instead. 

In all honesty he had no clue where you were going, and he doesn’t mean this to sound offensive in the slightest but you don’t have friends to run to, so the curiosity in him peaked. 

He didn’t want to appear as controlling and wanting to know your every single move, an attribute he knows fully well you hate in a partner.

 From years of knowing you, from growing up together to your teenage years, he’s seen the boys you dated and how they were clingy and wanted you all to themselves. He’s seen them slowly break any resilience you have and left you broken and crying. 

It’s a pretty sadistic thing to admit that he liked seeing you stumble over to his house, eyes thick with tears and crying on his shoulder, nodding through quiet whimpers and mumbles as he told you that he’d always be there for you. It’s something that’d been programmed into you since you first got your heart broken at fourteen, the mindset having grown with you even through adulthood.

Shion first found out he loved you when you both were thirteen and when he got arrested and sent to juvie, you were the only one in his life that cared enough to visit him and send him letters every other week. 

His mother gave up on him after he broke each one of her warnings. He could still remember her telling him firmly if he continues down this violent path and gets himself caught, he shouldn’t dare coming back home. 

Maybe he went a little too far when he was caught smuggling cocaine under his jacket by a police officer and got himself locked up in juvie. 

But if you were to ask him if he regretted it, he’d tell you fuck no. 

Those times in juvie were the best part of his life; he met Izana, a legend in his eyes, even in death he still honours and respects him. He also met his ex best friends and former gang mates, most of them now known as Bonten. 

He met Ran, someone who Shion found himself jealous of for how strong he was, how charismatic he was, how much of a smooth talker he was. 

It’s like Ran was built for this lifestyle whilst Shion had to nudge his way in through the tiny doors. He used to stutter when confronted and had to learn to smooth talk his way out of situations. 

At only thirteen, Ran was able to not only talk himself out of any situation, but do it efficiently enough without ease and not even sweating one bit. 

He loved Ran as a friend, but as a person? He was jealous. Everything that he wanted to be, Ran was. 

Shion had to teach himself how to fight and would lose most of the time and make a fool of himself. Whilst Ran would look so bored and uninterested, barely putting in the effort and still would come out on top. 

There was an incident when a fight broke out in juvie, everyone was jumping each other just because of the sake of it. Izana was the strongest, taking out over twenty boys his age, Ran was next, finding creative ways to beat them up with objects like kicking a chair till a leg fell off, then whacking them with the object until it was recoloured with their blood. 

“You can’t do that! That’s cheating!” Shion had to direct his voice up at the taller boy. 

Ran, standing at 5’10 at the age of thirteen, looked down at Shion. The first thing Ran noticed was how his fists were bloody, then he slowly trailed his eyes upwards to his face where the real brunt of the damage was. His eye was black, nose soaked with his own blood and lip on the verge of swollen. 

“Cheating?” Ran questioned, looking down at his hand. “You mean this?”

“Yeah! You can’t use weapons. That’s cheating.”

Ran cocked his head to the side. “Says who?”

Shion had to think for a moment. “...the rules?” 

“The rules of what? Who made those rules up?” 

“Delinquents! Obviously! It’s just common sense!” Shion felt like his mind was boggled. He thought back to all the delinquent manga stacked up in his room, how he aspired to be like them and saw them beating people with their bare fists. 

“What do you know about delinquents?” Ran asked back, shifting his weight onto his foot. He placed his hand on his hip, the bloody chair leg swinging backwards, almost stomaching a poor boy walking past.

Shion took a mental note of his calm, placid nature and was genuinely confused. Anyone that studied up on delinquent manga would know that you have to always use your fists, be the loudest, rudest person in the room, always looking for a fight. Yet the boy in front of him right now looked like he was on the verge of sleep yet still managed to beat up ten times more guys than Shion could. Shion seemed happy with his two bodies, then looked over and saw Ran with at least eight, underneath some of those laying on the floor groaning in pain were probably a few more bodies. 

“...from manga,” Shion admitted sheepishly, looking down at the floor. Now that he thinks about it, his answer was pretty childish. Ran’s eyebrows rose in a moment of surprise before bursting out into laughter, the sound grating Shion’s ears. “Oh shut up! You think you’re so tough huh?! Fight me without that thing!” He pointed to the chair leg.

Ran finally stopped cackling and dramatically wiped a tear from his eye. He looked down at Shion who was much shorter than him, probably standing around 5’6 and hummed in thought, the sound smooth and sweet yet the chill it sent down Shion’s spine was the total opposite. 

“Okay.” Ran shrugged and tossed the chair leg across the room. It clattered against the wall with a loud crash and Shion snapped his head over to see where it landed. In an instant, Shion was on the floor, tackled underneath Ran as he forced Shion’s hands together, pinning him down. Shion struggled and tried to wriggle out of his grip but it was like iron. No, iron is an understatement. Those strong enough could bend iron. It was like diamond. 

Shion realised how much weaker he was compared to him and almost started crying from sheer frustration and embarrassment. He’d never seen the delinquents in his manga get absolutely violated like this. Ran’s hand rose up, clenched into a fist and flew downwards to Shion’s face. Shion squeezed his eye shut, ready for the brunt of the hit, but it never came.

His arms suddenly felt a whole lot lighter and he slowly opened his eyes, watching Ran stand up and dust himself off. “You’re too weak for me. It’s not gonna be enjoyable.” He stretched those long limbs of his reaching up towards the ceiling and cracked his back with a few more stretches. 

“Wha—” Shion spluttered, shaking his head like a dog to clear his head. “Where’re you going?”

“To shower. I stink.”

“But we didn’t finish! You can’t just leave a fight half way!” he yelled at Ran’s retreating back as he walked out of the cafeteria hall, leaving Shion there alone.

After juvie, the six of them left together and formed a new generation, S-62, doing heinous activities such as drug trafficking and making connections to expand their assets. You, of course, were still waiting for him like you promised. But slowly, the more involved he got, the less and less time he saw you. The two of you didn’t go full ghost on each other, but you were focusing on your own personal life and school, he was focusing on his own thing. 

You met Ran when Shion invited you to one of his parties since he missed you and to this day he regrets ever letting you meet him. Not only did you fall for Ran’s charm, he practically brainwashed you, drew you in with his words, his voice, his everything that Shion lacked. 

Eventually Ran became the shoulder that you went to cry on instead. 

Your relationship with Ran was constantly filled with ups and downs; the ups preceding the downs by a mile. 

Ran made you feel good and you became addicted to that feeling, so much so that without, you felt like nothing. 

Literally nothing.

During your fights it became an unhealthy habit to avoid Dona and Mira whenever they asked you to hang out because you wanted to wallow by yourself in peace. 

You’d lay on your bed, curled up all day, checking your phone and going through your messages with him, sometimes catching him online and fight the urge to send him a text.

Mira and Dona were your best friends and you loved them, but they never gave you that feeling that Ran gave you. 

He was like a drug, and though you’d never done drugs, you felt like an addict. Couldn’t go a day without thinking about him and what he was doing. 

You slowly didn’t like the person you were turning into, the girl that abandoned her friends and family because she was depressed and needed that boost of serotonin that only Ran could provide. 

Perhaps Ran was that male figure you so desperately craved for in life that when he left you just spiralled.

Shion still has no clue on why you were spiralling so badly. You never told him anything, such an unhealthy habit of yours to keep your feelings bottled in, then once the pot overflowed it became too overwhelming and you exploded. 

Maybe when you get back with his car, he’ll ask you about it. 

He glanced at the clock one more time. Still midnight. 

Grabbing his phone, he decided to track his car, see where its at. Technically it’s not creepy or weird to track you. He’s tracking his car. Not you. You just happen to be inside his car. 

Besides, he needs to soothe that niggling feeling inside his mind telling him you probably got lost, kidnapped, or crashed his car and died. 

It stated the car, parked a location of what seemed to be a penthouse, had been parked for the last eight hours. He paused and zoomed into the location, cursing the Google Maps app for showing  the satellite view instead of street view. He has no clue where this house is or who it belongs to. 

Part of him wants to say Ran, but the other part rejects it, not wanting to be faced with that truth just yet. Who else do you know that lives in a penthouse? Could be Dona, he thinks, she lives in a penthouse also. But Dona hates you, and he’s sure you might hate her back. 

Shion saved the address in his mind and dialed Hiro, hoping you gave him a call. 

The first thing he heard when he answered the phone was a low grumble. “What the hell do you want?”

Shion relaxed further into his bed, his hands laced behind his head. “An attitude already huh?” 

Shion could practically picture what peeved facial expression Hiro might’ve been wearing on his face through the exasperated sigh he let out.

“It’s bad enough you put me in this damn hospital. Now you’re not even letting me get some sleep?”

“I already apologised for that. Get over it.”

“You broke my ribs, you piece of shit,” Hiro growled.

Shion yawned. “It’s fixed now isn’t it?”

“Fuck you.”

Shion fought back his eye roll and sat upright. “Have you spoken to your sister lately?”

“No. Why? Did she find out your stupid plan and now you think I told her?”

“No she didn’t find anything out and she won’t. Keep your mouth shut and I won’t break your other ribs. It’s just that she hasn’t come home yet; it’s been 8 hours.” Shion peered over towards the clock, the number moving from 00:59 to 01:00. “Never mind, 9 hours now.”

“I swear to God if something happened to my sister and its your fault Shion I’ll—”

“Guess you don’t know anything then,” Shion sighed. “This was a waste of time. G’night.”

“Wait! If you find her tell her to call m—”

Shion hung up the phone before Hiro could finish his sentence. Hiro looked down at his phone in disbelief. He wasn’t surprised, more irritated instead.  He hoped you were okay but at the same time you had a track record of disappearing for no reason and ending up fine. Maybe this was another one of your episodes.

His phone moved to your contact, looking at your messages, Big Sis offline and decided to text you for himself.

~*~

You couldn’t sleep. 

Tossing and turning in Ran’s big comfy sheets did almost nothing to help. You tried everything in the book to try get your body to shut down and sleep but nothing worked. Your brain hyper active and flipping through the memories of earlier today, the kisses you shared earlier, his lingering scent still wafting around the bedroom, his voice that you missed so much. 

He’s been gone for six hours now and yet your thoughts went back to only him and his wickedly talented mouth.

Your phone buzzed, the room lighting up as Hiro’s name flashed across your screen from the dresser. Slapping uselessly around for the device, you fumbled with it until he held the phone the right way up just in time to see another notification.

2 New Messages: Hiro 

Where are you? 

Do I need to file another missing persons report?

You hesitated, wondering briefly if you should tell the truth. Nah, it’ll cause more harm than good. You pressed your chin into the soft black pillow case as your brain thought of rapidfire excuses that would explain your disappearance.

Sent: HIRO HI! Hows hospital food? Want me to bring you something instead?

Too much. Way too much, you thought but sent the message anyway. You could practically hear the nagging voice of your therapist abroad telling you that deflecting was never the answer and you should confront your issues head on for the healthiest recovery. 

Hiro could read you like an open book, even through text and it was scary. 

Hiro:

Stop deflectingg. Where are you?

Sent: don’t worry im fine. How are your injuries? Rib healing ok?

Hiro: 

You’re with ran arent you?

You paused and stared at the text. For a solid second you were sure your heart actually sank and you hated how perceptive your younger brother could be at times.

Sent: how pathetic do u think i am? Im insulted hiro -_-

Hiro:

Im insulted you think im this stupid

Whatever man as long as youre safe

Hes taking care of you right?

Sent: yes. He is. 

Hiro: kk thats good

Sent: youre really not mad? I feel bad

Hiro: kinda relived ngl. 

Sent: why’s that??

Hiro: nothing dont worry. Dont tell shion though i doubt he wil have the same reaction i did. Stay safe

Sent: ill come see you this weekend i promise. I love you

Hiro: lyt

You sighed in relief once you turned your phone off. Knowing Hiro was happy with your decision felt like a weight was lifted off your shoulders. Honestly you weren’t expecting this to go so well, fully expecting some type of drama to happen, Hiro yelling at you for seeing Ran after you promised you would stay away from him. 

You lifted the blanket, pulling them over your body and closed your eyes, finally drifting off to sleep.

~*~

The next morning, Mira woke up next to an empty bed as usual. It’d been a regular occurrence by now so she wasn’t phased by it, still there was a little twinge in her heart every morning that she refused to acknowledge. 

She quickly got herself ready for the day and headed downstairs to the kitchen to prepare for the event this evening. She opened up her Macbook and gathered all the recipes. 

An hour into cooking, her doorbell rang. She quickly washed the dried dough on her hands, wiped them dry, then walked over to the door. Dona was there, rubbing her wrists and admiring the outside decór outside the Tachibana residency. 

Mira lived in the suburbs, from the looks of it in a nice neighbourhood. Probably a cliché, Dona thought. 

Dona lived in the city, the busy bustling city where you’re woken up by the loud honking horns rather than peaceful birds. 

Her dream was to get married, have kids and live in a similar area like Mira’s neighbourhood. She’s twenty six now and isn’t even close to accomplishing her dream. 

Step one + two get married was a bust, men were practically afraid of her. She likes having the reputation of being icy cold, after all it was the only way you could be taken seriously in her industry. 

If you were too soft, delicate and emotional you were considered a weak link.

Plus she’s a woman and most men she encounters already don’t take her seriously. 

She has a reputation to uphold, her cold nature spread around like wildfire, plus being close to the executives in Bonten didn’t hurt for a little extra credit to her reputation too. People take her more seriously now, men and women. 

Also being Izana’s cousin also helped with getting connections. His death brought her closer to Mikey, the two of them using each other as a coping mechanism. It was her idea to use Izana’s earring as Bonten’s logo, an idea that resonated deeply with Mikey. 

Dona could never live in a neighbourhood like this as much as he desperately wants to. Her job relies her being out all the time meaning there’s barely any free time for her to sleep in and just relax. This neighbourhood is more like a community, meaning if anything goes down, it’ll be hard to cover anything up with so many eyewitnesses peeking out of their windows.

“Dona! You came!” Mira clamped her arms around Dona’s neck, pulling her in for another hug. “Come come, you can help me prepare for the party!”

Dona was ushered inside, Mira moving past her to lock the front door. The house was modern, a big living room space and Dona envisioned kids running around the place. She briefly remembers how excited Mira was to have kids and get married, settle down with the man of her dreams. The kitchen was just as big as the living room, shiny black marble on the walls and counter tops, plenty of room for them to get everything prepared.

The time was 9 in the morning and the two of them had to get everything prepared before five pm. It was a huge party, loads of baked goods as well as home cooked meals. Mira considered herself a good cook and prided herself in her cooking. Naoto loves it and can’t wait to finish a long day of interrogating and investigating just to come home and enjoy his fiancé’s cooking. 

With an extra helping hand, Mira managed to finish an hour before the party started, giving her time to start preparing everything before Naoto and his co-workers came home. They set the food in the garden in warming trays, put a cooler outside for the alcohol and only fifteen minutes before hte aprty started did they both finally have time to themselves.

Mira flopped onto the couch exhausted, an exaggerated yawn leaving her mouth. “I’m beat. My feet are killing me!” She turns onto her back and kicks off her fluffy slipper boots. 

“You did an amazing job. They’re all gonna love it.” Dona walked over to the unlit fireplace, looking at the picture frames stacked on top. She picked up a photo of Mira and Naoto, his hand resting on the flat of her back as they both smiled into the camera. “Is this Naoto?”

Mira rolled her head to the side to look at the photo in her hands. “Yup! That’s him!”

“How’d you guys meet?”

“My roommate in college was studying criminology. Naoto was in her class so I met him through her. We spent more time together and started dating in…2012? I think. Something like that.” Mira practically had hearts in her eyes as she spoke about him. 

She really was in love.

“I really want to meet him,” Dona said, putting the photo back down. 

Unknown to Mira, Dona actually met Naoto before, but it was one sided. 

Back when Bonten was forming, Naoto had been on their tails, always causing them troubles with his investigations.

 Their warehouses got raided so much because they didn’t have the manpower to fully protect, defend and hide their tracks. Dona and Sanzu were assigned to keep an eye out to see any suspicious activity coming from the Tokyo Police Department (TPD). 

She���d never had an actual conversation with Naoto, only observing him from afar and planting fake evidence to throw his entire investigation in the bin, leaving them to start from scratch.

“I want you to meet him too!” Mira chirped. 

She sat up swiftly when she heard the front gate open. Dona blinked and Mira was gone, already zooming towards the door, opening it and launching herself towards Naoto. 

He stumbled back on impact but held her tight, putting his briefcase down to probably embrace her. He put her back on the ground and gave her a kiss on the lips, the giddiness rolling of Mira in waves as she kissed him back just as eagerly. 

Dona felt a little twitch of jealousy residing in her, wondering if she’ll ever get to experience this kind of love. Being raised in the Kurokawa household, love, care and affection was practically non-existent. 

Since a young age of five she was abandoned by her parents, forced to live with foster parents who tried their best to teach her love and empathy but she was too much of a demon child. 

She was in and out of the foster care system her whole childhood. Her parents were cold, narcissistic and manipulative people who barely cared about each other yet alone their daughter. 

When Dona was ten, she found Izana and the two found out they were cousins. Since then they’ve stuck to each other like glue. 

Izana’s death affected Dona in ways nobody could understand. It took you and Mira almost two years to melt that icy exterior she had built up as a product of her childhood and Izana’s death only brought it up back. She wasn’t herself anymore, truly feeling nothing but loneliness. 

Ran helped her through it, after all they both lost someone they truly cared about. 

Maybe it wasn’t the most appropriate thing to catch feelings for her best friend’s boyfriend but Dona was nothing but selfish, the lack of stability in her life led her to prioritise her own needs and wants in a way to regain a sense of control over her own life. 

Her feelings mattered the most above all. In her mind she started harbouring resentment towards you whenever you’d complain that Ran’s pissed you off again and the two of you are back on break, or when the two of you would get back together after going a whole month of no contact. 

It was fucking annoying seeing you take him for granted. Even now as she looks at Naoto and Mira, she feels resentment rather than joy for her friend finally finding her lifelong partner. 

Kakucho’s recommended therapy to her many times to which she shut that option down almost every time. Kakucho’s been to a couple therapists, liking talking about his feelings to someone now that he doesn’t have Izana around anymore. He knows therapy works and he feels himself becoming a better person and only hopes Dona could put her pride aside and admit she needs to get some help.

“Baby come come I want you to meet my best friend!” Mira dragged him inside, kicking the door closed behind her. “Naoto this is Dona. Dona this is Naoto.”

Naoto extended his hand out, polite and formal and shook Dona’s hand. “Wonderful to meet you.” 

“You too.” Dona smiled awkwardly, retreating her hand away almost instantaneously. 

“I finished cooking! Are your friends on their way?”

Naoto sighed and turned to face his fiancé. “Baby I’m sorry but something came up and they had to go on a mission together. So the party has to be rescheduled.” His heart nearly broke into pieces when he saw the excitement on Mira’s face slowly wash away as she came to the realisation that she wasted a whole day cooking. 

“Really? Aw, okay.” Mira’s shoulders slumped. She looked up at Dona and frowned. “I’m sorry you went through all this for nothing. I wasted your day.”

“No. No it’s fine,” Dona reassured. “I had fun today. Don’t stress.”

“Baby,” Naoto called, getting Mira’s attention. “If you want we can give the food to our neighbours. You know they love your cooking.”

Mira slowly nodded, still disappointed but at least the food won’t go to waste. “Alright, I’ll start packaging them into containers. You two stay here and talk. I want my two favourite people to get to know each other.” Mira said leaving no room for discussion and left the living room. 

Dona swung her arms awkwardly as Naoto took his blazer off and settled on the couch. “So…what do you do?” she asked, trying to make conversation. “I heard something about a promotion?”

Naoto shook his head. “My co-wokers is getting a promotion not me. I’m a detective in the Tokyo Police Department. My promotion was a year ago.”

“Oh! Congratulations. Policing and detective work must be a pretty challenging job huh?”

Naoto nodded. “It has its moments yeah. I meet some assholes on a daily basis but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.”

Dona moved to sit on the armchair next to the couch Naoto is sitting on and leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees. “I heard there’s a pretty big case going on in the TPD lately. Something about that criminal group on the news every two business days haha.” Her laugh was nothing but fake, Naoto could sense it but chalked it up to her being an awkward individual. 

Something about Dona seemed off though, he couldn’t quite put a pin on it. Briefly, his eyes searched her body exposed from her clothing to see if there was any tattoos. Bonten members have tattoos to differentiate ranks. All the executives he knows of so far have a tattoo that matched Izana’s necklace on a part of their body, mostly on a recognisable body part.

Manjiro Sano has his on the back of his neck. 

Sanzu Haruchiyo has his on his arm. 

The Haitani Brothers, a more recent breakthrough, have theirs on their throat. 

Those are the only members he knows so far. Dona so far has no visible tattoos and he doesn’t want to be seen as a pervert by asking his fiancé’s best friend if she could take her clothes off for a search. So he drops it.

Dona had a feeling he was onto her with the way he was observing her and praised herself for wearing a long shirt that covers her stomach where her tattoo is. 

“Yes, that’s correct. Bonten has been a priority for the department lately,” Naoto said finally.

“Oh wow. That sounds incredibly dangerous. I hope nobody gets hurt, I know how dangerous they can be. What have they found out?” Naoto looked on guard so she quickly added on, “I’m a huge fan of true crime. Watch it every day at home. It’s really cool.”

Naoto softened a little bit more and exhaled. “I’m sorry Dona but I’m not allowed to go into too much detail about on ongoing investigation. Confidentially and all.”

Dona nodded understandingly. “Of course, I didn’t mean to pry. It’s just that it must be so intriguing, the way you police-men deal with these criminals.”

“It can be yes, but its also a lot of  hard work and long hours. I sometimes hate coming home late and entering the house to see Mira asleep. I barely spend time with her.” The constant questioning of Bonten had him feeling uncomfortable so he tested the waters and switched topics back onto Mira. If Dona wasn’t shady, she’d accept the topic had moved on and leave it alone. 

“Poor Mira.” Dona paused for a second and Naoto watched her, observing her. “Do you ever worry about the risks involved? I know Bonten doesn’t play by the rules.”

He knew it. Clearing his throat, he says, “I won’t deny that there are risks but we’re trained for a reason. Our duty is to protect the city and the people.” He stood up from the couch and dusted his clothes. “If you’ll excuse me I have to get changed. It was nice meeting you again.”

“You too!” The second Naoto’s back was turned away from her, her smile fell and she pulled out her phone. Since her evening plans was ruined, she has to find something else to do. She texted Rindou and asked where he is.

~*~

Dona has no idea how she ended up running into you on the street but after exchanging a few words the two of you expressed how you both have nothing to do, you both found yourself wandering the streets together. 

Rindou finally responded to her text, stating he was at Starlight Mirage, one of the hostess clubs owned by Bonten. The idea of Rindou being there with a bunch of pretty girls clinging to him only pissed her off, the horny fuckers but she responded I’ll be there and turned her phone off.

You were sipping on your drink when you saw Dona look up from her phone and begin walking in the other direction. “Wait! Wait hold up!” You jogged to catch up with her, holding her arm to keep her in place. “Where're you going?”

“To a club. Let go.” She shook her arm trying to rid you of it but you held tighter.

“What club? Is it far?”

“A club we own. Now let go,” she said a bit harsher. You let go and kept your hands to your side, mumbling sorry. You made it about two steps when she stopped you with an abrupt call of your name. When you faced her, she had her eyes squeezed shut, lips pressed tight as if mentally preparing herself for what she was doing. “Do you want to come with me?”

You had to scoop your jaw off the floor as wondered why she’s asking you to join her. “What?”

“Don’t make me change my mind,” she said flatly.

“I thought you hated me?”

She shrugged. “You hate me too. What’s the big deal?”

“I don’t hate you Dona. I never did,” you admitted quietly. Dona observed you for a second before sighing.

“You coming or not?” 

You weren’t one to turn down an invitation. You closed the distance and began walking beside her. She had her hands pressed up to her chest as if protecting herself from the chilly breeze. 

“Wait.” You both came to a pause on the busy street and she turned to look at you, eyebrow raised. “You said we’re going to a hostess club right?”

“Yeah? What, you’ve never been?”

You shook your head. “Is this outfit okay?” You gestured to your rather plain outfit, a simple band tee and jeans. Dona pressed her lips tightly and shook her head slowly. 

“Not in the slightest.” She pivoted her head to see if there was an appropriate store to enter and buy you something. “You got money on you?” You reached inside your pocket and pulled out a few bills, a small amount of change barely enough to buy you a meal. She slapped her forehead. “Of course.”

“Hey!”

She ignored you and continued looking around before eyeing a store across the street. It wasn’t something she’d normally go to for dresses, finding the clothes rather cheap looking but desperate times calls for desperate measures. 

The store was playing pop music when you both entered and she told you to pick a dress so she could buy it for you and the both of you could keep on moving.

It’s been fifteen minutes and you still haven’t picked something out yet. You’ve been wandering through the aisles, trying to figure out what to get, what might fit, what might look ugly. Part of you was subconsciously trying to pick something you think Ran might like. Ran likes short clothing mainly, wants to see every inch of your skin exposed, but if he were to choose something long, he’d make sure it had a thigh slit somewhere just so he has access. 

“Oh my god hurry up! You’re taking forever!” Dona exclaimed, checking her phone for the time. 

“I’m sorry! I’m just very picky when it comes to clothes!” You’d been oogling between the short dress and the long dress for the last two minutes. Out of options, you grabbed both of them and showed Dona. “Pick one.”

Dona gave you a ‘seriously?’ look and you nodded eagerly, excited to see which one she chose for you. Rolling her eyes she pointed at the shorter one and you gave the staff the long dress to hang back up and approached the counter. Dona brought out her black card and bought the dress for you. As the receipt was printing, she told you to go and change into it. 

You both exited the shop and made your way towards the club.

~*~

The room was glowing red when you entered. You instantly spotted Rindou seated at the bar with a drink in his hand, exchanging small talk with the bartender as well as another man you never seen before. He had broad shoulders and chest and a goatee. Dona left you behind at the door and walked up to Rindou, surprising him from behind. 

You felt awkward where you stood; none of the men inside the room noticing your presence. Ran was sitting on the couch, his head faced downwards as his attention was absorbed by his phone, engaging in a long text chain with a client. You slowly approached the couch from behind and covered his eyes with your hands, bending low to whisper in his ear, “Guess who?”

His lips curved into a smirk as he instantly recognised your voice despite the soft whisper and tilted his head back to meet your gaze. “Baby, what’re you doing here,” he asked, holding a hand out to guide you around the couch. 

Once you were in front of him, he tugged you to sit down next to him. Your ass hit the plush seat and he lifted your legs to swivel around his lap so you were sitting sideways on the couch.

His hand found itself on your thighs and you clenched them subconsciously at the feeling of his big hand caressing your thigh. 

Mentally, you thanked Dona for picking the short dress just so you can feel more of his touch. 

“I ran into Dona on the street and she was on her way here,” you told him, trying to ignore the way your stomach was doing backflips. He hummed in agreement and you felt the rumble travel through your body. 

Before you could fully get comfortable, a girl walked into the room, readjusting her hoop earrings. “Ran-ran are you ready…?” she coo’d. She was dressed in a lingerie dress with black heels that stopped once she saw you on his lap. “Who the hell are you?”

“I—uh—”

“Not today baby,” Ran said,tilting his head backwards to get a look at her past your body. His hand on your waist squeezed a little tighter when he felt you squirm a little, clearly uncomfortable under her stare.

“But…but you promised last time it was my turn with you,” she said with a pout, her glare not leaving your frame.

You turned to look at Ran who looked apathetic about the situation and the words left your mouth despite how hard you tried to keep them at bay. “You can go if you want to.” 

“Are you sure?” he asked. 

Trick question you thought, and you remember your own words from just the other week. No strings attached. It pained you to nod your head slowly, your neck feeling stiff but you powered through it. 

Shifting off his lap, you awkwardly sat on the couch as Ran stood up, dusting his clothes. The girl smiled deviously and latched onto Ran’s arm as the two of them left the room. You pouted and crossed your arms over your chest, feeling petty and bitter about the whole situation. 

“You lonely?” A deep voice comes from behind you. 

Tilting your head back, you see the same guy from before standing behind you. You shrugged, not in the mood for conversation right now. 

He slowly rounded the couch and plopped on the other end, giving you space since he sensed you wanted it. “I’m Mochi by the way. I don’t think we’ve met before.”

You told him your name and went back to pouting. 

“If you want me to leave, say so and I will.”

“No…it’s fine.” You sighed and turned to face him. “Sorry Mochi was it?”

He chuckled. “Forgot my name already?”

“No I’m good with names usually I swear. I’m just…I dunno.” You casted a quick glance over to the door Ran exited from and wondered what exactly they were doing right now. The answer felt obvious to you, what else does a girl wearing lingerie want,  but you were in denial. 

“Distracted? What’s on your mind? Normally when I’m distracted I take something.”

“Take something as in drugs?” You peeked at him. He slowly nodded his head. 

“You’ve never done before?”

“Few times. Not often though.”

“It’s no wonder you look stressed.” He stood from the couch. “Bare with me. I’ll need to grab something from upstairs. Stay here?”

“Okay.” You watched him leave the room and return less than five minutes later with a box in his hands, Sanzu walking in beside him. He had his hands tucked in his pockets, a sardonic smile on his face as he met your eyes. 

“Hey! It’s you!” he called out pointing at you and catching the attention of everyone else in the room. For the first time tonight, Rindou met your eyes and you instantly looked away, unsure how to handle the intensity of his stare. 

Sanzu stood in front of you on the couch and peered down at you. “Mochi said you wanted me to hook you up with something. But I don’t know how Ran would feel about me hooking his bitch up with substances,” he finished, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

“First of all,” you stood up from the couch to meet his eye better. “I’m not a bitch. Don’t call me that. And I’m not his bitch. Secondly,  I don’t care how Ran feels. I don’t belong to him, I can do what I want.”

Sanzu paused for a second, his eyebrows rose with shock. “And she bites. You just got even hotter in my book baby.”

You rolled your eyes and sat back down, readjusting your dress on the way. “What drugs do you have?”

Sanzu extended his hand out for you to grab. You took it and he led you towards the table in the back corner of the room, Mochi following behind the two of you. The two men sat down on either side of you, sandwiching you between their bodies. It made you uncomfortable but at the same time excited you because for some reason, you weren’t scared of these two guys even though you should be. Their closeness calmed you, like a hot bath on a cold night. If only Ran was there too.

“So Mochi," Sanzu started as Mochi set the little box on the table, "which girl do you plan taking home tonight? I saw this one bitch earlier, she had a tongue piercing. So sexy. You barely see that shit 'round here unless they're on some freaky shit."

Mochi shook his head, a mischievous grin lighting up his face. “Nah I know who you're talking about. She's too skinny for me. Like my women big and curvy."

"Like big tits or big elsewhere?" Sanzu inquired.

You rolled your eyes, fighting back the urge to cover your ears as the two of them spoke about women like that. Your ears were burning and you huffed, watching Sanzu reach for the box and begin pulling out each item separately. First came liquid methadone in a small glass bottle, then a lighter followed by a pipe, and finally two more small bottles containing pills and strips of paper. 

Sanzu separated the pills into four piles; 1, 3, 5, and 10 milligrams and showed them to you. 

“These are different doses depending on what type of high you want to get.  Top pill is 10mg, this next one here is 5mg and so on. The black bag there contains amphetamines and opiates to treat the comedown after a good hit."

“Uh okay, sure. Whatever that means.” You replied as he began tearing off the labels. When you asked for drugs these weren't the type of drugs you were expecting. You expected marijuana or something, that's the only drug you were comfortable doing by yourself. Not this...hardcore stuff.

"Do you um have anything less intense?" You turned to your right and already saw Sanzu with his sleeve up, injecting himself in his arm with a needle.

"No." He snapped at you, turning back around. You could tell he didn't like being questioned but this was the most real answer you'd gotten so far.

The needle pierced through his skin and you flinched in spite of yourself.

"Let me guess, you haven't done any hard drugs before and are nervous about it." Sanzu eyed you carefully. You nodded and he sighed loudly, rolling his sleeve back down and passing the vial to Mochi. "You see this is why I said Ran wouldn't be pleased about this."

Mochi rolled his eyes. "Who cares." He closed the vial and put it back in the box, setting it aside.

Sanzu leaned forward in his chair and pointed the tip of his finger at you, poking you lightly in the chest. "Remember, you're a grown ass woman and you can do whatever the fuck you want to do." You could tell whatever he injected into himself started to get to him as he got that dazed look in his eyes.

"I know I'm grown. That doesn't mean I can't be nervous still though." You felt self conscious of yourself now, knowing you looked ridiculous sitting across the table from these two men as they popped bottles of pills, played with needles, and even lit a joint. "Which do you reccomened for a beginner to try?" you asked Sanzu and Mochi who began thinking deeply.

Mochi hovered his hand around the litany of drugs on the table and picked up the smallest pile of white pills. "This is Valium, It'll calm you down and make you relaxed."

Sanzu shook his head. "No you idiot. Don't give that to her." Sanzu began grabbing for the stack of pills, all stacked up neatly in a triangle shape. He grabbed for a pinkish colored pill, tossing it over to you. "This is Vicodin. It's stronger than valium and will give you a better high overall. Also, its effect lingers longer than valium so if you use it sparingly it won't leave you feeling down after a while." He takes the pill from Mochi's hands and puts it in his palm, holding both palms out towards you. "Choose babygirl."

You hesitated. Maybe you shouldn't do this...but you also really wanted to. Afterall, you were bored. "Vicodin please."

Sanzu nodded and handed Mochi the Valium pill. "Open up," he said softly at you. He gripped your chin and you opened your mouth wide for him to place the pill inside. It slipped down your throat easily. He pulled away, pushing his fingers towards the back of your head to force you to look him in the eye.

"Do you feel alright?" he asked you quietly, stroking your cheek gently.

"I don't feel any different..." you told him honestly. You just sat there and waited to see what happened next. Nothing seemed to happen at first, other than the ringing in your ears beginning to fade. "So how long until it kicks in?" you mumbled to him.

Sanzu stared at you. "Give it about thirty minutes. If not then an hour." He clapped his hands together loudly, the sound startling you and making you jump. "I feel mines kicking in already." He gave you another smile, looking almost proud.

The two of them started talking about something you didn't care about again and you zoned them out, focusing on seeing if you felt any different. Ten...fifteen minutes pass and you feel the same. Finally, thirty minutes later you started to feel like something had changed. It was subtle, but you knew it was happening. The world became clearer and things around you started to move slightly slower than before. Everything around you seemed sharper and you could sense colors vibrating on the edge of your vision. Your brain felt clearer too, your thoughts getting more straight and concise. All you could think about was the feeling of this clean, smoothness pulsing in your body.

Conversation flowed smoothly between the three of you and you began having fun, you felt more animated and extroverted. Eventually, you were a little too buzzed to carry on a normal conversation and fell asleep on the couch. You woke up around ten minutes later with a tap on your shoulder. Looking up, you saw Ran standing over you, concerned at the state of you.

He squatted down in front of you, pressing his palm on your forehead. "You don't have a fever. You tired or something?" he asked, removing his hand from your forehead to rest on his knees. You blinked slowly at him, realizing you were tired and sore, feeling rather sluggish.

Now that your eyes were fully open, you noticed the teeny tiny fading love bite on the corner of his jaw and frowned. "I'm fine," you said snappily, pushing your legs off the couch and stood upright. Your legs were tingly and felt like thousands of needles were stabbing you from the inside and vowed to never take a pill from Sanzu again.

"Ah she's awake!" Sanzu called out from his corner of the room. He was sitting at a table playing cards with a few more people that you don't recognise. A simple look around the room confirmed Dona and Rindou had left.

Sanzu waved you over and you didn't hesitate leaving Ran's side, too mad at him to stay by him and walked over to Sanzu. "This is Benkei and Wakasa." He introduced each person and you nodded politely.

"I hope we didn't wake you," Benkei said smiling at you.

You shook your head pointed at Ran with your thumb who was now standing behind you. His chest against your back so suddenly almost startled you, but you kept your composure. His arm snaked around your shoulders possessively when he caught Wakasa's lingering eyes on your form and subtly pulled you closer towards him.

"She's still high," Sanzu snickered, pointing at you and taking a swig of his beer.

"What?" Ran asked and turned you to face him. He held your face up and examined you carefully. Your eyes were puffy and red and looked a bit glassy as well, you were clearly intoxicated. "Was gone for half an hour and you already got her popping pills," he directed his statement at Sanzu who smiled widely at you.

You rolled your eyes at him and pushed his hands off your face. "What do you care anyway? And you were gone for longer than that."

"You counted or something? What difference does it make?" Ran countered.

"None," you huffed and crossed your arms. You turned back around and took the seat between Sanzu and Benkei, ignoring the way Sanzu peered back at Ran, grinning even wider than before and readjusted his seat further into the table. "How do you play this game? Cards is it?"

Wakasa picked up the deck and placed it in your lap. "Let me show you," he said softly, handing you the deck of cards and giving you a soft smile.

Rindou re-entered the room with Dona behind him, the two of them calling Ran over. He was hesitant to leave you by yourself with the three men, but decided to give you your space because he could tell you were angry at him right now.

Dona reached up and hugged Ran once he approached the two of them. "Hey, you okay?" she asked, noticing tense he looked.

Rindou looked around the room, his eyes locking in on the sight of Wakasa standing next to you, bent downwards to talk into your ear as he explained and taught you how to play cards. 

"Oh," he breathed softly before bursting into laughter. "Your girl got stolen huh?"

Ran shook his head and slouched against the wall. "We all know who she's gonna run back to at the end of the day." The funny part is that he wasn't lying. Rindou knows that, Dona knows that, Ran definitely knows that and even you do. Rindou and Dona have been far too acquainted with that fact on many occasions. 

"You're so cocky it's sick," Dona mimes gagging. "For my own entertainment I hope she runs off with Wakasa."

"Don't be like that Dona." Ran dug into his pocket, pulling out some extra notes he had laying around and held it in front of her. "Go get yourself laid and release all that stress."

"I'm not stressed!"

"Yeah right," Rindou laughed, ignoring the way Dona redirected her glare to him. "When's the last time you got laid?"

Dona crossed her arms and shrugged. "Like a few months ago. I dunno."

"Damn, no wonder you're bitchy tonight," Mochi said from the couch.

"You wanna see bitchy?" Dona strode forward and dumped her leftover glass of beer on top of his head. 

Ran and Rindou started cackling at the sight of a wet Mochi and Dona tossed the empty glass on the floor, walking back over to Ran and taking the cash from his hands. "Fuck maybe you're right. I do need to get laid."

"Have fun yeah." Ran slapped her ass as she went past him, yelping at the sting and pouting before walking out of the room.

"You think she has any luck?" Rindou asked, moving to stand opposite his brother.

"Men here are desperate. They'll pay their life savings just to see a pretty girls panties."

"Don't act like women aren't the same either. They'll strip to the floor at the sight of both you two idiots," Mochi said as he approached them, wiping the remaining beer from his face with a towel.

"As they should." Ran grinned. 

“Go take a shower man, you stink,” Rindou grumbled at Mochi.

"Speaking of strip I want my girl back now.” Ran lifted himself off the walls standing up straight “I'll be back gentleman."

By now, Waka had returned back to his seat opposite you as the four of you played cards, Sanzu currently winning three games in a row. You tried to concentrate on the game but every now and then, Benkei would rest his hand on your leg and his fingers would brush across your skin, sending tingles down your spine.

Ran strode towards you, his voice startling you by your ear. "C'mon baby lemme take you home." You leaned your head back, wanting to look him in the eye, and caught sight of his cheekbones, high forehead and nose before your eyes drifted downward to those full lips. You nodded without hesitation and he held his hand out, helping you slip out of the chair.

"Aw man you're going home already?" Waka exaggerated his disappointment as you slipped away. "You didn't even finish this game."

"I wasn't going to win anyway," you responded back before slipping your arms through Ran's blazer that he took off himself to hand to you. You mouthed a thank you to him and he pressed a kiss to your forehead, grabbing your bag and holding it close to him.

By the time you returned home, it was almost 2 in the morning. You phone had died earlier in the day, missing all of Shion's calls and texts. Ran parked his car outside Shion's apartment complex and rode the elevator up with you. You rang the doorbell, your brain too sluggish to attempt and use your keys.

Shion opened the door and almost immediately glared at Ran. If Ran was surprised to see Shion, he didn't show it; a subtle eyebrow raise that was blind to everyone's eye.

You stumbled inside the house, mumbling that you're sleepy. You beelined straight for the bedroom, collapsing on the bed. Meanwhile, Shion stepped into the hallway, closing the door behind him. "What the fuck did you do to her?"

"Me?" Ran shrugged and shook his head. "Nothing."

"She's drunk! Or high or whatever! I swear to God if you did something Ran, I'll—"

"You'll what? Kill me? With what."

Shion pulled out a gun he kept in his pants and pointed it at his forehead. The action meant to be threatening yet, the expression on Ran's face remained unphased. 

"Ooh, where'd you get that. That's illegal in Japan, ya know?" Ran noticed the safety was still on.

"I have connections you dumbass. Don't bother asking. You're not getting an answer."

"Kill me then," Ran suggested. "Just a pull on a trigger and all your problems and insecurities will be solved." Shion's brow furrowed as he contemplated it. Ran leaned forward, his voice lowering to a whisper. "Just know if you do, might as well kiss any chance you got with her away. She'll hate you forever and you know that."

"You don't know shit."

"Really?" Ran smiled, taking the opportunity to lean closer to Shion. "I'm not a theorist but..." Ran grabbed the gun easily from Shion's hands and Shion watched in confusion as he removed the safety and put the gun back in Shion's hands. Ran grabbed Shion's wrist and repositioned the gun back at his forehead. "Go on shoot me. Prove my theory wrong. It's a clean shot. Go on," he goaded.

Shion's breathing got heavier for a moment before his eyes cleared, a stern expression on his face. The anger on his face diminished as he put his arm down, letting it fall limp to his sides.

"Exactly," Ran spat, dusting down his suit. "I'll be taking this." He snatched the gun from Shion's hands, pocketing it in his own waistband before patting Shion on the head condescendingly, taking advantage of the clear height difference. "Can't be letting little boys run around here wtih one of these. They're dangerous y'know?"

"Get the fuck out before I call the police," Shion growled.

"How adorable. Relying on police to save your ass." Ran sighed, shaking his head disappointedly. "Tell her I'll see her tommorow yeah?" Shion glared at him and waited for Ran to walk towards the elevator before re-entering his house. He walked towards the bedroom where he knows you'd be. He saw you laying on the bed, half asleep, half awake and flopped down beside you.

“You awake?” he called quietly in a whisper.

You grumbled a noise in response, sounding like a yes and no. Shion took a moment before saying, “Who would you pick? Me or him?” He was met with silence. He shifted a little closer to you and called your name again, met with more silence. 

Must’ve fallen asleep, he thought, ignoring that nagging part of him thinking how weirdly coincidental that was but left the room anyway, leaving you to sleep. The second the door shut you opened your eyes and frowned. Deep down you knew the answer to that, but the question made you feel so awkward it was best to avoid. But you had a feeling he’d ask you about it again in the morning. 

Meanwhile, Shion pulled out his phone and texted Dona that the plan failed, Ran is hanging out you again. She doesn’t respond instantly like she normally does so Shion understandingly gets frustrated. He scrolled through his contacts when he found someone to text.

Shion: I need a favour

He responded back almost instantly.

Hanma Shuji: how cute of you to text me at 2am. Maybe if you beg ill be able to grant your wish

Shion: don’t make this fucking weird can we meet later or not?

Hanma Shuji: what’s in it for me? Im a busy man

Shion: You get to piss off Ran Haitani. Thats what.

Hanma Shuji: interesting…

Hanma Shuji: You got yourself a deal.

pls lmk how you found this chapter!!! i was trying a new writing style so if you could tell me if you enjoyed it or not that'll rlly help my writing and motivation thank you guyssss !!!

masterlist

taglist: @escafhwiluv @lyniana @haitanifxn @rindougf03 @mvteria @hisan-na @luvhaitani @mishueb @Dreamxies @yuma404 @sleeplessreader @shinichirolover @illusorysmut @Lxvephxbic @obsessedwreiner @ililailii @insayninthamembrayn @missgab @reihimbo @l0velikethis @lollevi @danasaan @tenjikusstuff4 @midoriapologist @alkanessa @asp7n @thebrownemo @levstar777 @sanaukii @yumidepain @jesjesboo @pink-sugar-rush @ssailorvenuss @mizukikyong @suckonlimes @xngelsau @wrldstarrr @lonnie19 @yanfei-kisser @wrldstarrr @hayeoyeon @christmassugarcookies @minimari415 @hxonieverse @rinshoe @taihjj @ezri261 @mkc-ana @secretanimesimp @https-sonshine @nil-eena @weebausarus @secretxchive @getosmybeloved @kakuchosbff @atarathegreat @erenwifey @nyanglock @illumiismyforeverhusband @tsumudrip @notdyl4n @haruchiiiyo @strawberryshorcakee3 @satoruloaf @whoreforfictionalmen18

[notmyprey]

Small vent cause I swear I keep seeing this, and it just bugs me. Im not angry, I'm mostly just sad that this is where we are right now.

Guys, can we not harass others. Unless they are hurting others, what is harassment going to do? Make them sad? Make them hate themselves?

People can, in fact, have different likes and opinions than you. As long as they are not actively hurting people, hating others, or being mean, what is wrong with what they are doing?

Liking sfw vore, extreme cuddling, or any of its other names is not something that one should be harassed over.

Likeing vore in a sexual light is not something to be harassed over.

Liking it both ways is ok, too.

Also, the fact that some people are going out of their ways to harass people who like vore (sfw or nsfw) in a fatal/digestion context is so sad.

I personally dont find vore sexual. I personally dont like fatal (in the sense that the prey is dead completely and isn't a ghost or anything that still has a presence).

But here is the thing. I dont need to like and/or understand it to respect it. I dont need to like spiders to respect people who keep them as pets. I dont need to like the idea of having children to respect those who do.

People. You dont need to understand their feelings. You dont need to feel the same way. But they are people too. They have feelings. They are more than just text on a screen.

I know I may seem like a flat, one dimensional person since I post 1 type of content here, and thats how many people who like vore make their blogs too, but I am a human behind the screen.

Just, please. Respect others. I know, many people here are hurt. I know many people here have trust issues, and unfortunately, a draw of the vore community is that need for trust. But having healthy boundaries, having a healthy outlet that's not an anger filled rant (*will elaborate on what I mean at the bottom of this), and having someone to ask "can you make sure this is me talking, and not just my initial reaction" are things this community needs to work on.

If I were to give any advice, it would be to wait a minute before you post a vent, rant, or anything along those lines. Walk away for a minute, come back, and reread it. You may find that some of what you type is your initial anger, fear, or hurt speaking, not you.

I want your real voice to be heard, yall, and sometimes to do that, you need to step back for a moment. So before you send that hate message, before you post that rant, please ask yourself:

"Is that me, or what I was taught"

* I want to elaborate on what I mean by anger filled rant.

What I consider an anger filled rant is when someone finds something they dont like, and decid to attack it.

Instead of making something informative, they make something emotion filled. This isn't always bad. But this can be bad if the thing they are attacking is something that is not hurting others or themselves.

So in short, what I mean by anger filled rant is, a rant that attacks something that is not harmful.

I dont condone harassment towards anyone, but I do understand an angry rant if it is about someone who is hurting others. Again, that is not the thing I am referencing. I am not saying someone being angry at another for hurting people is wrong, it isnt. People should be angry at people getting hurt.

So yah, thank you all for reading this. I just needed to get this out there.

Guys, btw, this is not sfw interaction only for me (if you're rb you wanna make sfw only thats ok, def enforce your own boundaries) cause:

1. I feel like this is important for both sides

2. I have a 'if I dont see you, I dont care' rule cause I have given up on trying to blog all nsfw ppl lol. Sides they aren't monsters or anything. Just ppl. Still dont want them rbing or commenting, but liking my stuff is fine.

[akutasoda]

i love ur writing so much, i cant hold myself back from requesting <333 this is my first time requesting something !!

i dont really know how to start this but what if the bsd characters (im not picky with them so you can pick any!!) were to meet the reader that has the same personality as Sparkle in Honkai starrail? Sorry if this doesnt make sense-

if u can write this then thank u!! if i requested this at the wrong time then im sorry

a thousand faces

synopsis - when they meet someone that is engrossed in theatrics

includes - yosano, nikolai, jouno, ayatsuji

warnings - gn!reader - based off sparkle, fluff, slight crack, wc - 789

a/n: thank you!! <3 it made perfect sense dw :)

taglist - @vi-chan07

akiko yosano ★↷

↪if she thought ranpo had a thing for dramatic reveals she'd be proven wrong. to her, you clearly had some sort of unhealthy love toward theatrical actions that brought you 'amusement' - so much so that it would the only thing to interest you.

↪ because she wasn't exactly the most out there and amusing person, you saw no business with her but somewhere you must of found something to amuse yourself.

↪she could tell you were unscrupulous. no regard for moral principles, no regard for how much you'd lie and no hesitation to play unfairly. to her that was concerning, nothing good could come from being associated with someone like you.

↪but you were still completely hard to read. never would she expect to understand you thoughts or actions and while that scared her slightly, it also made her more on edge around you. never knowing what you would do next.

nikolai gogol ★↷

↪a master of theatrics such as himself could easily understand another maestro of theatrics. that's what drew him to you and you to him. you both lived for some kind of amusement even though your love for it stemmed deeper than his - afterall he longed for freedom more so.

↪you two would be the equivalent of a clown and an actor. you both had little regard for mortality and would happily play dirty if it meant achieving what you oh so desired - you both lived for the thrill of theatrics and attention.

↪although he could understand your love for amusement, he still couldn't read you. he couldn't tell what you were going to do, say or think - all he could do was understand why you acted so afterwards. but really that made you all the more interesting.

↪you found alot of amusement in nikolai. he was exactly the kind of person that could reflect and different yet mostly familiar side to your usual antics. it was also his dedication to the art of performance that grabbed your attention.

↪you were both equally cunning maestro's of dangeroud theatrics, each for their own reason and goal yet you could still understand one another. afterall the art of performance could be understood by it's accompanying actors. (theatre kids fr)

saigiku jouno ★↷

↪for someone who thought on the side of justice, he was incredibly morally gray. it was that twisted side of him that would lead to him grabbing your attention as you reckoned he would aid to your 'amusement' in his own way.

↪jouno hated the way he couldn't read you - well he couldn't see you but there was something about you that preventing him picking up anything through his senses. some actors can perfect complete control of their body and it's emotions, you were no different.

↪he could tell that you always looked for some way to be extravagant. to seek that amusement through any means necessary, mostly when it's outgoing and attracts the attention of anyone. a part of him wanted to respect that.

↪he could also tell that you were very particulate and only got attracted or engaged in things is if they promised amusement or some form of art of performance.

↪for a while he did find you slightly annoying but he would get used to the way you were rather outgoing and predicament.

yukito ayatsuji ★↷

↪he has met quite the range of characters after solving 50 000 cases as a detective for 20 years. all ranging from enclosed and secluded people to the extravagant outgoing ones who like to run their mouths, but he would have to admit he's never met someone like you.

↪while he could compare you to certain people, they all don't have the same level of dedication you do to theatrics and amusement. because the only thing that grabbed your attention was 'amusement' you tended to ignore him for a while - he wasn't fun in your eyes.

↪but he found you interesting. he couldn't read you at all, couldn't understand why you acted the way you did or even what you could be thinking. the only thing he could tell about you was that you clearly had no moral principles.

↪you could lie and lie or even go back on your words without a minute of trepidation if it meant you received the 'amusement' you wanted. and that interested him - how far would you be willingly to go?

↪he could actually admire your dedication to theatrics - not so much understand but he found it admirable nonetheless.

[hell-drabbles]

Ahh I have a bit of personal headcanons of Asmo, if you dont mind me sharing them.🪽

-

Honestly, I don't think he's the type to force anyone into anything they don't like. But that doesn't mean he can't be a tease in other ways:

"Quite a temper you have," he rests his chin on his knuckles. "Have you ever tried relaxing?"

He poked at their cheek. His sharp nail felt like a needle about to puncture their flesh, but he never did. "You should loosen up, be more like Raon."

He's the same level of calm as Mammon. He's aggressive when he needs to be. To me, he's bordering on motherly and fatherly:

"Ah," his head perks up when he notices the fresh scars on their flesh. "Look where your wrecklessness has brought you."

He approaches them in a manner almost similar to a saunter. The King of Lust stands before them, raising their injured arm, only a region of their injured body. The open wound heals as he places the pads of his fingertips against it, leaving only a remnant of the sanguine trail. "Careful next time. We don't want Raon to lose his little friend."

Although he might seem like he favors Raon more, I think he treats Companion and him equally. He just likes seeing Companion ticked off. He loves getting reactions out of them.

He's able to hold up a conversation with them well, though. He seems like the type to ramble on about himself considering he's a narcissist:

Although they may roll their eyes at him, he doesn't mind as long as they're listening. He'll ask about their day, too. Just to be fair.

"I'm sure your day must've been great." Asmodeus' red eyes stare at the already bitter face, their eyes somewhere else. "Especially since Raon was in it."

"Oh, the complete opposite," they look at the devil in front of them. It seems like they're engaged now.

Asmodeus snickers. It seems that he could make time for their rant.

-

I honestly think they should've made Asmodeus' hair less messy and his horn less geometrical, I guess? I hope you like my thoughts on him, though.🪽

Yeah the hair in the fancy selfie card does bother me, since Asmodeus's hair in his regular sprite doesn't look layered. It smooth, it sleek.

I very much enjoyed those headcanons, man are they fun to read. It always stirs up my brain for my own ideas!

He does seem like someone that would enjoy some good ol tea. Who doesn't enjoy gossip? I would imagine he would keep these little conversations a secret, not because out of any respect, but because it bothers my Ra-on to the nth degree. Well, perhaps a little bit of respect towards the Companion but who says he can't have a bit of a fun and tease my Ra-on about this information.

"You're not very good at hiding your desires. You can say all you want how much you don't want to hear what they've said, but I see the way you bite your lip every time I make them laugh. You want to hear what I said, and your companion said in return, don't you? Why don't you try and strike a bargain? Maybe I'll tell you, maybe I won't."

Hmm, I don't have many headcanons on him, just small plans or potential ways I could use Asmodeus.

Something something, Asmodeus representing the current future waiting for Ra-on if he continues on the path he's going, cursed to simply be an object of lust, never able to forge close bonds out of his own inability to give up on his selfishness, something something, the differences between the bonds Asmodeus and my Ra-on have with my Companion ultimately serve to further highlight Ra-on's self-destructive and avoidant nature that's deeply seeded into him, that his overly horny nature is not the true core of his problems.

Because, for all of Asmodeus's problems and how generally hated by the public he is, he can still get along with the Companion. He surpasses my Ra-on in terms of how horny he is, and can still have a civil conversation with them. Doesn't help that, Asmodeus being Asmodeus, obviously wants to fuck the Companion. And yet, there the Companion is, sitting, more than tolerating, enjoying in fact, being around him.

So it makes my Ra-on question: What wrong with me, then, that they avoid me? That they hate me if they can be around Asmodeus?

You know, fun character stuff.

You wanna know what's funny to me? I actually can't see my Ra-on enjoying being around Asmodeus, and he, at the current moment, can't articulate why. He's a beautiful devil, and by all means, he would probably be the best and most debauch fuck to have. And yet, my Ra-on wants out. Looking at him is painful. And Asmodeus scares him.

I love messing with my Ra-on.

[toraawa]

ive been a fan of yours for a while and i gotta say, i think you have the best grasp of yurisere/predatorshipping in the fandom. you actually take their characters into consideration and acknowledge their complexity as two stunted individuals who are very different but similar instead of diminishing them to memey single-trait characters. its amazing how many other other fans reduce serena to only "edgey mean girlboss" and yuri to only "nasty psycho" and then call any other version of the ship than constant hate fucking, backhanded affection and beating each other to a pulp "wrong". very tiring how only a handful of us dont like that to be the only thing they ever do

btw, your fics on ao3 are a godsend. judging by your stats im definitely not alone in loving how you write yurisere. thank you for doing the lords work. cant wait to see more updates

First of all, thank you for the high praise! It's the second time this week I've been told something similar, lol!

Though I will say anon, the rest sounds pretty charged towards something or someone particular in the fandom, so at the risk of aggravating some current stuff I don't know about...

Yeah. I agree. A lot. You pretty much summed up my thoughts perfectly.

"Edgy mean girlboss" and "nasty psycho" for Serena and Yuri respectively is... extremely accurate, lol, to the point where I kinda have to laugh bitterly for how pervasive it is. Like, I know they both got shafted hard by canon, but it's a bit annoying when so many people override Serena's multifacetedness to fit the girlboss mold and accuse Yuri of being one-dimensional. I'vs seen some even get strangely angry at the prospect of him not just being the sadistic plant guy. I just don't think him only being that is true. Then again, I'm a staunch defender of the assessment that most of Yuri's character is shown, not told.

Unfortunately, the fanon interpretation of characters overriding canon is something that happens in pretty much any fandom, so there's not much we can do but ignore it and find like-minded people. It's super annoying, but it can't be helped. There's also a broader phenomenon of prioritizing tropes and meme-y dynamics over actually appealing characters, so there's that too.

Since we're all waiting for more canon interaction, I'm definitely in the minority in that I don't think Yuri and Serena's interactions in Duel Links will be a pure hostility fest the entire time. I've also gotten accusations over the years that my Yurisere writing is objectively "wrong" for a plethora of reasons, many of which you stated above, so... there's THAT, too.

At the same time though, that isn't to say Yuri and Serena would never fight or bicker or even be mean to each other — I never expect them to be completely nice and friendly to each other right off the bat. And people are free to write and draw whatever they want — I want to express my disagreement and only that here — so if I don't like it, I ignore it. The people who don't fall into fanon have a much more appealing, deep, and romance-forgiving interpretation of yurisere to me, so I just focus on that!

Anyway, thank you once again for being a fan of my writing! I'm honestly surprised at the following for my current fics on ao3. The Arc-V tag doesn't get much engagement despite being updated every day. It's always great to know there are others who enjoy and share my idea of Yurisere, so to anyone lurking: don't be afraid to reach out!

[puhpandas]

Evan and Greg are basically your oc's!, what is your interpretation of Micheal in the modern au. Also how does mike not see Evan as a person?

Also flashlight duo is super cute

Has Evan ever been bullied at school?

the ocification beam hit them too hard...

I view Michael in my flashlight duo universe as being like. not how a lot of people portray him. as in he doesnt lash out for a reason. he isnt acting that way towards Evan because William told him to.

it's for sure affected by William's own actions, but as in Michael subconsciously learned those things. he isn't even on William's side really. he sucks as a father to both of them. it's just that michael doesnt respect Evan enough to see him as someone who is supposed to be on his side

Michael subconsciously learned growing up that everything Evan is is bad. and the cool people his age see people like Evan as weak, so he does too.

he lacks any emotional maturity, so a lot of his actions towards Evan are out of his own boredom and resent. he genuinely thinks his reactions are funny. if he ever did realize what he did was wrong, he would have to actually realize. he knows fully that what he does hurts Evan. he just doesn't care. he hasn't developed the intuition he needs to care. you know?

and Michael is around 16 if evan is 12. it's not that hes too young to understand, it's the lack of good parenting, or literally parenting in general. if Evans life is hell because everyone around him hates him, then that means its true. it means the people in hurricane dont like people like Evan (a boy who at his age should be getting manlier, but isnt. sensitive and emotional and physically small and lanky. evan literally has anxiety and paranoia and is neurodivergent and people dont really acknowledge that but they notice. and they don't like it)

the people in their town suck and are mean and so is Michael's father. so of course hes going to stick to what hes been taught and to everybody else who also believes it and is on his side. he was never taught that what hes doing is wrong. hes a bad person but it's a product of horrible parenting and the worst town in the world

in contrast to Michael, in the neglect and bullying Evan has faced its made him kinder. he is the one facing it so he wants to be kind to others instead of being like the people he hates.

I dont want to say he would be more in tune with his emotions than Michael because he wouldn't be. before Gregory, he was so unstable and miserable he was just a big ball of anxiety and emotions. he didnt understand his emotions and have that country mile on Michael's own emotional maturity because he didnt have it in him to learn

and by that I mean he didnt even like himself enough to want to help himself. hed been taught that theres fundamentally something wrong with him that makes him bad and weird and not like anyone else who's impossible to 'fix'. and hed been hearing that since he was a young kid, so of course hed believe it.

but then Gregory comes alone and slowly tries to strip away what Evan had been taught just by being kind to him and repeating kind things. the opposite of what everyone else did.

and that is what makes Evan begin to change for the better. the first thing he learns is that Gregory doesn't think something is super wrong with him that makes him bad and stupid so he starts to believe it a little, too. he begins to see how maybe how hes being treated is unfair and its him seeing himself as worthy of kindness that makes him upset on his own behalf. and what that means is he has better self esteem when before he was so insecure he could never even defend himself a little bit

and its after he gains some respect for himself that he learns how to help himself. he actually thinks he deserves it now, so with his support system in Gregory and his family he learns how he works. he learns what his phobias are and what sets him off and how to calm himself down. and of course he hoped all the way through that changing could be what 'fixes' him and the people around him wouldnt hate him so much. but like I said before its that self respect that confirms it's for himself and not for others

of course that stuff doesnt go away, but he improves. the people around him do notice. they dont care enough to say anything, they're more just suprised or happy hes shutting up in that mean way of theirs. but I think after a while of Evan being comfortable with Gregory and improving himself he would one day just snap.

before, he had layers and layers of nervousness and fear and anxiety and insecurity stopping his very high emotions from boiling over. and with the newfound respect for himself comes the anger on his own behalf of how hes treated.

so i feel like one day he would just blow up with all the emotion without the insane amount of fear stopping him. and it doesnt help, not really.

before, evan wanted to please michael and his father. but now that he wants them to know how much he hates them and how much they hurt him, they are pleased.

he gained more respect but in the worst way. not the way he wanted.

but back to their relationship, I think post-all of this, evan wouldnt want anything to do with him. let's say Michael does have a wake up call when they're both older. hes already ruined his relationship so much its unsalvageable. he caused evan to develop fundamental issues rooted deep (anxiety and paranoia, general things he learned about the world and certain people/groups and traits that he'll have to remind himself arent true) inside of him.

his family had their chance and they blew it hard. evan is definitely in the right to want nothing to do with him or William and to continue growing up and living and laughing with his actual family in his heart. they never get to make it official, but that doesn't matter.

anyway I went on like. a lot lol. for anyone who havent read my oneshot series this is based completely off of that au of mine and in my mind is canon to every oneshot if you do read them. thanks for enabling me to talk about flashlight duo lol you can tell I put so much thought into them every day its crazy

edit: to answer your actual questions lol: it's not that Michael literally doesn't see Evan as a human person, it's that he doesnt respect him enough to treat him with human respect. you know? everything evan is he has been taught is bad and worthless so that's what he thinks. so by extension evan is too

and yeah evan does get bullied at school. I always imagined it was less bullies pushing him into lockers and stealing his lunch money (Williams ass does not give him lunch money let's be real) and more that they just treat him awful. hes either invisible or in the way and then they dont care to be super rude to him. they dont just spout their exact thought process out but they all think of him badly and view him as a big joke. its less blatant meanness and more just treating him awful in general and that's what makes Evan think its normal and that hes asking for it when its not.

[imustbenuts]

How do you handle how low key racist toward Japan a lot of fandom is in favor of shoving only American cultural viewpoints into things? I'm so tired...

hm.... a loaded question. short answer for how i handle this:

I don't.

i just. don't. i don't even try to process what i know for sure is a bad take at all, and i make it a point to curate my online spaces as much as possible.

(or at least, i do on very very rare occasions if i feel arsed enough to hop on my keyboard to smashing out a more educated post about it based on my own understanding. more on this in a bit.)

if i go into a fandom tag and i see rampant nonsense, such as during the 1st two months of fire emblem engage's release or some incredible pumpkin spice latte takes, and i feel like it's just too much bc im getting angry, i just disengage. i might read if i feel like it, but if its too hostile i don't add to the conversation. i leave. i don't pass go bc i have waaaay better things to do than potentially engage in a conversation im already not happy to have.

in some occasions i even block. if i feel like someone is being a dipshit in the posts i make with their tags even, i block.

and i suspect im not the only one. how often do you see asians who reside outside of the west actively partake in fandom discussions? its such a drain of energy when it goes bad. most asians are working faaaaar longer hours than the average westerner in the average office setting. i mean, fuck, man. if i want to have fun, im not coming to a place i know i wont be having much. (ofc we are all having it bad. the point is: limited energy is a big factor for why going against the general set consensus is a bad idea)

i've been dealing with this for the past 10 years. minimum. it has always been like this. it has ever always been like this everywhere.

soooome fandoms are chiller than others for sure. but i dont actively participate in fandoms bc: im tired and my attention hops all over the place.

im ALSO gonna drag proship antis DNI into this ramble bc i believe strongly this culture is an evolution of the old 'your fave is problematic' culture mixed with puritanism culture and i hate it. i hate it bc it gets applied to everywhere, even in a japanese/asian culture space where people in fandoms are generally more "you stay in your lane i stay in mine, we're all freaks, just dont break any laws or be terrible". understand that east asian society in general is collective compared to western's more individualistic one, which reinforces that lane thinking. so all these high moral showing-off is just a big pissing contest to me.

in fact its such a pissing contest i actively refuse to follow people who have DNIs in their profiles. id have more respect for those who can say 'i dont like xyz, its not my cup of tea'. its a normal response, i think.

and im done ranting about my personal feelings :v. some practical advice from my dumb of ass:

a person knows what they know

a person doesnt know what they dont know (ignorance)

a person cannot be taught what they dont want to know (willful ignorance)

a willfully ignorant person is not anyone's job to directly fix. only they can check themselves.

hostility begets more hostility. anger is an addictive emotion. block and move on if someone is consistently being annoying/a pos online, its not worth the mental bandwidth

a person wants to know what they know they don't know (curiosity)

if theres something educational worth sharing that can be communicated in a digestible way, it is sometimes worth it. people like reading, but more importantly, communicating. be that with the OP or their own group.

and also, im not immune to any of the behaviors i dont like above myself. there are also limits in what i know. :v hypocritical of me lmao

[jackienautism]

I just saw that post about your thoughts on the counselors and I'm curious, have there been any major changes since then?

i just skimmed the post youre talking abt (i write a lot huh) but honestly? i haven't had TOO many major changes since. JUST REALIZED ITS COMING UP TO AYEAR SINCE I POSTED IT IN MAY? THATS SO CRAZY TO ME WTF but anyway

nvm ill read through exactly what i said. the post is here btw

dylan: still pretty much the same opinion as back then LMAO i did have a more recent convo abt dylan (which def changed some thoughts abt him. esp related to his potential adhd and lack of a filter) but i stilll don't like him, sorry

nick: same thoughts as before honestly. i still think he doesn't deserve abi in the slightest. and his involvement w/ emma's dare still makes me very upset, ESP when the fanbase refuses to acknowledge his involvement in it lol. i dont doubt that racism comes into play w/ nick and his whole lack of a story and such, but i jut. i cant stand him

jacob: i take back the flip flop thing btw. i lowkey cant stand him. but to be honest:? ive gotten WAAAY less tolerant of male characters in general lately. and jacob is not exempt from this lol. i have yet to play TQ again (it's been quite a bit) but! maybe after we play tonight things will change. ill prob rb again if things do

ryan: HOWEVER. DO YOU KNOW /IS/ EXEMPT FROM MY "I HATE ALL MALE CHARACTERS" MINDSET? RYAN ERZAHLER. 100%. i love him lots and ppl r very mean to him fo r no reason. i talked abt this briefly in my angourie!cady post but just. when characters show certain autistic traits that YOU ALL cant deal w/ or understand, suddenly theyre a shitty person? they don't care abt their friends? theyre boring? KILLS YOU

max: he also is a pretty respectable guy to me i love you max. but as i said originally. i dont rly think abt him much

emma: she def had the biggest shift for me while playing the game for the first time!!!!! but in terms of like. if anything changed from when i wrote the original note? i dont rly think so tbh. reread waht i wrot eback then it rly makes it seem like i hate her 😭😭😭😭😭 I PROMISE I DONT..... I ACTUALLY LOVE HER SO MUCH...... SHE MEANS A LOT TO ME....... i just cant stand how she acts towards abi sometimes. def my biggest criticism of her. but at the same time. i understand WHY she acts the way she does. she means sooo muchto me. and esp seeing all your talk abt autistic emma? i just think that makes sooo much sense fo rher.and i LOVE it so much

kaitlyn: i dont even feel lik e going throuhg it all but. i feel like she may have gotten a little lower since i wrote that post? just bc i tjhink toooo many ppl think shes better than she actually is bc of her association w/ dylan? it pisses me off sooooo bad. and ive made posts abt this before but like. her character in general still aggravates me 😭 and i DO still stand by what i said in that og post. theres jsut... shes not that complex sorry guys. esp compared to EMILY? lLIKE. i know its unfair to compare the 2 but its pretty damn obvious that thye were going for another emily in kaitlyn lmao and they FAILED. MISERABLY

abi: oh.. abi oh abi i love you. i still hold her so close to me. she is so me for real (beats anyone up who says tjhat she's Them) i mean who said that

laura: LOVE U LAURA!!!!!!!!! i still dont have like TOO many in depth thouhgts abt her but just. know ever since i began roleplaying as her shes become THAT much more beloved and :] i love you girl

THAJK YOU FOR SENIDNG THIS IN!!!! AND SORRY FOR TAKING A BIT TO ANSWER

[keysmashhhhhhhh]

Tag Games!!! :))

thank you to @fandomchaosposts and @grandprixwinnerlandonorris for tagging me!!!!! dude i love tag games so much :)))

Who is your favorite driver?

SEBASTIAN VETTEL <3333 always and forever ever since i was a kid its always been him :)

Do you have other favorite drivers?

Ex Drivers: Nico Rosberg (started off liking him because it annoyed my gran who is a massive lewis fan but genuinely he grew to be one of my favourites, especially since retiring) and Jenson Button (my first memory of watching F1 is my gran thirsting over jenson haha)

Current Drivers: LANDO NORRIS (grand prix winner ahhhh), Alex, Oscar, Yuki are the drivers who i cheer for most often but honestly i love most of the current grid

Who is your least favorite driver?

Ooh actually a hard question, i dont "hate" any driver particularly if i dont like them i sort of just dont watch them you know? i know some people love to hate but im not really about that life haha

Do you pull for drivers or do you like teams as well?

Its 50/50 - mclaren was always sort of "my" team because when watched f1 with my gran she cheered for lewis and jenson so mclaren always felt like the team to support but when i started to become a seb fan i hopped from red bull to ferrari to aston as he moved.

If you like teams, what team do you pull for?

Mclaren all the way 🧡 

How long have you been into F1?

I have very hazy memories of jenson winning in 2009 but i was 4 years old so i didnt have any critical thinking skills to understand what that meant. i wasn't really "into" it until i a couple of years ago

What got you into F1?

its hard to say, id say the nostalgia of watching it as a kid plus the fact that the community has grown a lot more in the last 10 years plus a seriously improved attitude towards women as fans (i remember in primary school one of the boys used to make fun of me for liking a "boy" sport whenever i talked about f1 - this was only 10 years ago which is crazy)

Do you enjoy Fanfic/RPF?

im a tumblr girl for a reason of course

How do you view new fans?

there is a noticeable difference between newer fans and older fans but i think its all about perspective. i mean i talk to my friend at work and he tells me about the races he watched in the 80s and 90s so of course to him im a new fan of f1 but when i talk to people who got into it in the last couple of years they see me as an older fan so i think its all about respecting the people who were fans before you and also welcoming the people who have become fans after you :)

If you could take over as team principal for any team, who would it be and why?

Williams (my qualifications is i can sort of use Microsoft excel haha)

Are your friends and family into F1 as well?

My gran is the og lewis hamilton fangirl, my mum is into it (she's a george russel fan) and my sister is a charles fan - funny story my dad absolutely hates sports so he's the only one not interested but he absolutely LOVES LOVES LOVES nico rosberg and says he dresses like a bond villain

Are you open to talking to other fans/making friends?

OMG YES!!! its so funny though because i always assume my mutuals are like wayyyyyyy cooler than me haha

Tagging (no obligation if you're not feeling up to it!) @love4lando @sof1shticated @multiseb21 @formulapisces @481boxboxbaby @georgeinamerc + anyone else who feels like it!!!!

[mydarlingdahlia]

Warning : a rant about religion/religious stuff below, read with that in mind.

I’m tired of seeing people on TikTok (or any other social media platform, really) put down or berate others for their opinions or beliefs.

For example…

I saw an innocent video of a girl reading some scripture from her Bible and just talking about a dream she had. Not harming anyone, right? Apparently not…

I can’t tell you how many comments I saw of people from other religions putting her down and just flat out making fun of her belief. As a Christian, it did hurt seeing my faith being treated the way it was in that comment section.

But, here’s another example…

I saw another video of this girl showing off some of her crystals and tapestries that she had gotten, and I thought they looked neat! I liked the video, and went to leave a comment about where she got them, when I saw some other messages.

Basically to sum up what they were saying is that if she kept doing the blasphemous things she was doing she’d go to hell, and other hateful things.

It also hurt seeing her being put down/being for her opinions/beliefs, when she wasn’t even doing anything wrong or hurtful to another religion!

DONT 👏 PUT 👏 OTHERS 👏 DOWN 👏 FOR 👏 THEIR 👏 OPINIONS 👏 OR 👏 BELIEFS👏 OR 👏 RELIGION👏

STOP IT.

It’s rude. And you aren’t “saving” anyone by doing it either.

The same things goes for people who flat out just make videos hurtfully ridiculing a comment or person for their own religion. (Not just Christians or Satanists.)

Also…

STOP 👏 SPREADING 👏 MISINFORMATION 👏 ABOUT 👏 OTHER 👏 RELIGIONS 👏 OR👏 WAYS 👏 OF 👏 LIFE👏

Being a Satanist or an Atheist doesn’t make someone a devil worshipper. If someone is a Satanist, it doesn’t mean they’re in a cult. It simply means they worship mainly themselves or act as their own god. (Which isn’t right in my opinion, but who am I to tell them what to do?)

If someone is an Atheist, that doesn’t make them anymore wayward than the rest of us. They may not worship the Lord, but that doesn’t mean we should treat them like dirt or anything less than a human being.

Same thing goes for any other religion.

I have friends that come for other religions, and they’re some of the nicest/awesome people I’ve met! Sure, we don’t see eye to eye on a few things, but that’s okay! It doesn’t mean I should end a relationship over a little disagreement.

Also, I’ve also seen some controversial takes on people of the LGBTQIA+ community, and as a Christian, it intrigues me to listen to them, as I am a member of that community.

I’ve heard some people say that all who are apart of or even support the LGBTQIA+ community should go to hell, which I think is a bit rash. I’ve also seen people who say they just need forgiveness, but I’m curious, what do they need to be forgiven of?

I know in the Bible it says homosexuality is a sin, but ever since humanity fell, we’ve been stuck in sin’s (or the devil’s) trap, and I believe we won’t be able to get out of said trap until Jesus comes back. (The Rapture, The Second Coming, call it what you like.)

I can’t help the way I am, and you can’t just convert me to become straight just like that. I am very happy with Mia, and she is with me, and there is no way I’d leave her, for any faith.

And you know what, I respect your opinion if you think I’m wrong. I won’t say anything against it. Wanna know why? I’ve been taught and brought up my whole life to be kind to others, even if they don’t deserve it. And yes, I forget that sometimes, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be respectful towards them.

Especially if it’s about their beliefs or religion.

So, say it with me.

I will love and respect all of my witch, celestial, and earthy girlies/fellas, even if we don’t see eye to eye.

I will love and respect all of my Christian girlies/fellas, even if we don’t see eye to eye.

I will love and respect all of my Atheist girlies/fellas, even if we don’t see eye to eye.

I will love and respect all of my Satanist girlies/fellas, even if we don’t see eye to eye.

I will love and respect all of my Hindu girlies/fellas, even if we don’t see eye to eye.

I will love and respect all of my Islamic girlies/fellas, even if we don’t see eye to eye.

I will love and respect all of my Buddhist girlies/fellas, even if we don’t see eye to eye.

I will love and respect people regardless of their religion, beliefs, or opinions, even if we don’t see eye to eye.

See, that’s not so hard is it?

Treat people how you’d wanna be treated. Give respect, get respect.

[themoodyestj]

i'm in a good mood, so i'm going to answer your questions.

Yes, it's possible. there's a lot of people who refuse to accept themselves because they are deadly scared of being different, of being rejected by society and abandoned by their loved ones, especially older people who grew up in extremely homophobic ambient being told from a young age that gay people go to hell. they hate themselves and they hold resentment towards other gays who are brave enough to be themselves.

i did not at any point used the word gay as an insult, you are the one getting offended by it, so who's homophobic?

i meant that you secretly hate Jensen, because clearly you don't like the guy one bit.

i did not read your body language, i was mocking you, wasn't the "boink" an obvious indicator of that. No i don't find you hot, even if you looked like a top model, you're very ugly on the inside.

Hello, Anon,

Sadly. That's not my case though. I live in an extremely supportive environment and I feel perfectly good in my skin. That's not my case, and I think, in respect for those who actually experience that, I'm going to leave it at that. It must be awful living that way. I also wouldn't wish it on anyone, so you coming to my inbox assuming that just because you dont agree with what I write... kinda tells me the person you are.

Again, you didnt read what I wrote in my reply. I wasn't offended the slighest, I found it funny. I mean, with all the things you could fabricate in your head about me, that was the one you chose, and that got me interested. Because if youre good at reading people, you'll know even the way people insult you will tell you something about them. Rage is usually a projection. It looks like its going out, but it actually goes *in*. And that's why people will only get offended with things they resonate with. Which begs the question, why do you get so offended with what i write to the point of coming to harrass me? Food for thought.

I do like the guy, I just dont make him a God or wear rose-colored glasses. If you read my posts, you'd see me criticizing a lot of people, not just Jensen. I also made a few posts praising him, did it go over your head?

Oh honey, there is no "boink" with delulus. I've read pretty farfetched things written as fundamental truths, so you gotta forgive me for taking what you said face value. And yeah, I know I can be obnoxious, especially for people that come to my inbox to insult me. I feel perfectly fine with that. I own it. I mean, I am staying in my own lane. As ugly as you may find me, Im not going to anyone's blog forcing my opinion. I didnt go to your blog to insult you. I am "ugly" because you came here to provoke me. Whats your excuse?

I am always open for discussion with people that don't see eye to eye with me. I have answered many anon questions regarding subjects we disagree on, and because they came here with respect, they were treated with respect. You kinda got back what you dished out, though.

Only have yourself to blame for that one.

[destinyc1020]

Sunday confession, I think JE and Olivia are cute, sorry. I always got to respect a woman that ppl hate just cause she's dating a lot of ppls crush. I hate internalised misogyny so much, and so many women have it, unfortunately.

Just like when Timothee and Kylie dating, ppl were so dismissive of Kylie saying what do they even talk about, which is very vapid to assume in my opinion cause most male actors' life experience is limited, no offence. Also, when their fans dismiss their looks and struggle to understand why male actors would date them, that's crazy to say that cause most ppl are average looking and both Olivia Jade and Kylie are not.

I dont know if you've heard of the monsters menedez brother show, but one of the main actors, Nicholas, also has a gf, and the way some female fans have been on about her is horrible. He's very hot, but the difference between male fan of attractive actresses and female fans of hot white male actors is that they never dive deep into the life of the actress. I never see male fans of Sydeny Sweeney look up her relationship or past partners. Men just don't do all that. It's a shame at times that my gender is like this. We all as a society are just very lonely.

Like dismissing Olivia's looks and calling her average just because she's not Bella Hadid is harsh. Ppl get so many insecurities for existing. Imagine getting more because ppl think you're not good enough for your "hot bf." Like looks aren't always enough. Even Bella Hadid has never been vain about who she dates. She dates anyone she finds attractive, which is her niche. I don't know what I'm saying, but it is something that really bothers me.

Most ppl are not kate moss thin or Naomi Campbell attractive. it doesn't mean they don't deserve love. And why do ppl think that looks is enough to be in a relationship?

Dating actors are tough cause their schedules are never easy to deal with as a regular person. Olivia is a nepo baby. Her wealth can accommodate his lifestyle more than the average person financially. Also, new money rich actors are always sceptical of ppl to trust. Again, like she's not perfect, the rowing scandal is something that's justified, and it was wrong if her family did that. However, her mother did her time, and she owned up to it, and I believe in reformation. If you change your behaviour, then I'm not holding it against you. It's not like she's the first or the last rich person to do this. She just got caught. I don't know what I'm saying. I just hate internalised misogyny so much. It's so beneath us as women. That's it. That's my rant.

Thanks Anon for your confession 🥰

Hey, nothing wrong with finding JE and Olivia cute together. 🤷🏾‍♀️ Everyone is going to have their various opinions (good or bad) about a celebrity couple. It's just a fact of life.

This topic however on misogyny towards the gfs of popular White male celebrities is a very interesting one for sure. It's been happening since the dawn of time unfortunately. 😔 It's to the point where idk how some of these women do it! Idk if I could date a popular White male celebrity in Hollywood. I might have to forego my love for the guy and just date someone else lol, cuz idk if my mental and emotional health could take it! Rofl 🤣 Now I totally understand why Tom & Z kept their relationship a secret for so long, omg. 😜 😅

With that said, I definitely feel that it's important to separate the crazy female fans who just don't like their male fave dating anybody, vs the ones who just really truly have a problem with their male fave dating a certain particular type of woman.

I can't speak for all fandoms, but I kinda get the impression that MOST fandoms wouldn't really like any of their male faves dating a Kardashian. Tom's fandom included! 😅 They just scream clout-chasers and attention hogs. Nothing against Kylie, I barely know her. But she's cute, has a nice shape.... I'm not confused about why a heterosexual male like Timothée would be attracted to her. 🤷🏾‍♀️

But at the same time, I can kinda see why his fans don't like him dating her. I'm not gonna send hate tweets or whatever about it lol, it's really not that big of a deal to me. Most of these celebrity relationships don't last forever anyway lol.

But yea, I don't think there's anything wrong with thinking a celeb couple is cute. 🤷🏾‍♀️ People are free to lot like (or NOT like) whatever couple they want?

It doesn't always mean that the person is a "jealous fangirl" though. I didn't like Zendaya dating JE at ALL... but I knew it was her choice. I just thought she could do SO MUCH BETTER than him, that's all. So, sometimes, that's all it is. 🤷🏾‍♀️ It's not anything to start riots I've over though imo.

[mcl38]

I personally think it’s not that nowadays Lando cares about Carlos less than Carlos does about him, I think it’s more about him getting fed up with repeated questions about his friendships with other drivers and with Carlos in particular, and actual journalists using these cringe words like ‘bromance’ and stuff, it’s annoying as fuck. He still answers that he gets along well mostly with Carlos and Max, so kudos to him for keeping it professional and not telling them to fuck off haha he’s literally asked about this all the time, like, everyone and their dog know by now who his friends are, journalists need to give it a rest already and ask him better questions

so like yeah, i do think its mostly that. lando hates few things more than people placing their own narratives on him, or thinking they know things abt his personal life that they dont. also, one of those few things (he hates even more) is cringe, or maybe in particular outdated-cringe - i genuinely think if someone mentions milk at him nowadays he might just curdle (ha) and die on the spot. so like. carlando and bromances in general hit BOTH of those spots. its as if theyre designed specifically to piss him off

but beyond that, i think uh. hm. how do i phrase this. i think fundamentally carlos and lando have slightly different attitudes towards competition, and also that.... i want u to bear w me on this one bc i say this w all my love for lando but i think carlos is just a bit more caring and sentimental as a person

what i mean abt the diff attitudes is hugely informed by this video i saw today (pretty sure @/vegasgrandprix linked to it so ill try to find it and insert it here!) where carlos said he'd maybe give a centimetre more leeway to fernando and lando when racing wheel to wheel. he goes on to say that that doesnt rly mean much and that hes touched with lando and fernando before so clearly it doesnt make a difference, but at the same time this is the first driver ive ever heard say this in any capacity. compare this with landos very straightforward 'once you're on track you don't think about those things anymore and all you want is to beat them' like. i genuinely dont think carlos features in landos thoughts at all when hes in the cockpit - which i wouldnt expect either! but apparently lando features in carlos's

i think u can rly see this when u compare what they both said abt singapore. lando, assuming carlos's racer brain works like his, says in all his interviews that carlos wouldve just done that for anyone and it doesnt make any difference that its them two. meanwhile, carlos fully explicitly says that he finds it more special bc he and lando were cooperating & managed to get a 1-2. that kind of clearly shows a difference in mindset beyond lando just not wanting to play the media game

abt what i meant saying carlos is a more caring person, in their relationship particularly - i just think hes always been rly attentive towards lando and has just like kinda kept doing it even after he moved teams. i rmbr watching their presser together a few months ago where carlos was being sooo delicate abt lando clearly being worse at golf bc he hadnt played in a while, & it rly reminded me of their dynamic back when they were teammates - while landos always found carlos funny and respected him as a racer, carlos was the one actively attentive to landos mood swings, self criticism, anxiety, etc. i think seeing lando at his (self-described) worst in terms of mental state has made carlos always harbour a sort of protectiveness towards him that lando cant and also isnt expected to reciprocate.

so like yeah i dont think landos lying when he says hes closest to max and carlos on the grid. he DOES get along w carlos and makes an effort to hang out w him when he can. i just think carlos has a slightly more open or emotional character, which reflects as a vague imbalance in their friendship