#but I don't like how /some people/ are trying to get G cancelled from the con bc like what even

[neutron-stars-collision]

I know I said I won't talk about this mess anymore, but I really hate how I was excited for the Philly con and now it's all just... *sighs heavily* :////

[boowritess]

part 2 lol

so apparently it's really fucking hard to get into the SAS. and ontop of that I've been getting tiktoks of people going around an army base asking why they joined. most responses were to pay off student loans, bills, school, (someone said there's was 6 years of prison or school and *mental note for idea*), the recruiter lied or spoilt them, barracks bunny.

141 (poly?) x notsobaddasssoldier!reader

and now i can't stop thinking of soldier!reader. who really half-assed their way through everything - only doing the job for the money and to pay off student loans + they had nothing better to do.

who somehow ends up being adopted by Price (kinda like Gaz i guess ???) all because reader happened to be in the right place at the right time and saved Price's ass while managing to complete a mission the Task Force were doing.

and it's not that you saved his ass or completed the mission that makes Price go *this is mine* - it's the fact that afterwards all you can say is-

"this shit is so not worth paying off my student loans."

"oh fuck i forgot to cancel my subscription. fuckk- waste of fucking money"

- all the while a building is burning in front of you but yeah just not at all concerned about what had just happened. so price just *grabs you by the back of your neck and holds you up, claiming you as part of his task force now.*

(lol you probably can't do that irl but this is fiction sooo suck my ass.)

and laswell's just like no... they are very much still green john. way too green. no.

but it's too late. he's already introducing you to the task force. singing your praises and you're just like

"man he promised to pay off my student loans and give me food." basically how ur recruiter got ya ass.

enough said. you get the whole off the books speech, saving the world by doing things others wouldn't like. but u couldn't give a rats ass - you should but nah...

and like... you know you're the rookie... you're still green... but some of the shit 141 do you just...

"so you just gonna kidnap the wife AND the child...? right... kid, you wanna watch bluey? here..."

"and you do this often...? crazy."

but you don't exactly protest. how could you with how much you get paid. you kinda just side-eye and look away when it's geta a lil crazy. *bombastic side-eye*

and the other 141 guys - oh my days. become just as enormed as price and want to start really trying to amplify your skills. but every time, they start explaining how to do things - the best way to go about a situation or how to fight a certain way.

you pull this face. like your top lip pulls back, your eyebrows scrunch together, and there's a slight frown on your lips as they speak. like you look confused/disgusted. but you don't even realise cause-

"why're you pulling that face?" 141

"that's... that's just my focusing face..."

"oh..." 141 feels bad

then when they do take you in feild you're shaking your head no. like you haven't been around that long. what the fuck? now you're bout to infiltrate an enemy base!?!?!

"can i just wait in the car?"

"no." price

"i'm gonna vomit."

"aim at the enemy." ghost

people think that because you're suddenly in this badass task force that surely they're just using you for your assets.

they all think you're the 141 barracks bunny. and maybe you should be pissed or annoyed or grossed out. but all you can do is sigh and pause from the burger price got you, and let out a long exhale.

"fuck... maybe i can just do onlyfans or be a pornstar... shit maybe it's not too late..."

"military is bascially sex work - selling my body..."

"not that different from what i'm doing now. body being used, check. body sore in the strangest places, check."

your tone so empty, blank and nonchalant, but there's a serious look in your eyes that when you grab your phone out to maybe do a little research on how you could do that, your phone is snatched from your hand by one of the guys and they walk out the room without a second look back.

with an annoyed huff, you go back to eating your burger. but suddenly, you turn to the person who genuinely thought you were a barracks bunny.

"hey you think if i be a barracks bunny i get out of missions and shit?"

"...that's not how it works..." rando.

"fuck."

and maybe you try...

like you go to price's office and the guys are already in there, chatting about something that you should really pay attention too but you can't be assed. instead you unashamedly start to speak...

"if i suck ya'll dicks can i get out the mission?"

"no. you still have to join." gaz says amused

"even if you-" *que long sigh from price* "even if you suck our dicks."

"that's fucked up. i should've done porn."

and with the most hurt and broken-hearted look on your face, you leave the office, closing the door with a dramatic sigh. the guys just stare at the door in... confusion, amusement, and maybe arousal if ya'll dig that

idk man just gimmie more soldier!reader who just really ain't the fucked, there for money, lowkey hungry and doesn't know what the fuck is happening. kinda a pet or little sibling energy that the 141 love.

bonus*

"wait so they aren't sucking our dicks?" *soap says getting slapped in the back of the head by ghost

a/n: brain is rottinnggg. i should be doing so much other shit but... cod just consumes my brain 24/7

[oizysian]

Hello, how are you? Could you write a wife G!p Wanda x preggo f reader. Where wanda is very jealous and possessive with reader if shes near other people. If you're not comfortable don't worry ^^

Mine, All Mine | Wanda Maximoff

Warnings: enchanted strap, blow jobs, whiny cummy Wanda.

AN: the people voted and enchanted strap won, so I’m sorry I changed it from g!p. I hope you still like it!

•

“Wanda, I’m okay.” I assured her, rubbing the back of her hand softly with my thumb.

“You’re pregnant. You shouldn’t be doing anything strenuous.”

“A party isn’t strenuous.” I giggled, kissing her cheek. “We’re gonna have a good time.”

“If you feel sick or tired or wanna go home, just let me know and we’ll leave.”

“Baby, I’ll be fine. You worry too much.”

“I worry because you’re carrying my child. I can’t help but worry.”

“I know, but it’s just a small get together with your superhero friends.”

“It’s never small when it comes to Tony.” She grumbled and I couldn’t help but smile at her pout.

“You never know. He may surprise you.”

The rest of the drive was quiet, a comfortable silence washing over us. Her right hand remained on my thigh as she drove and I drew little shapes on it with my fingertips, trying my best to keep her calm.

When we got there, she parked and rushed out of the car before I could even say anything, opening the door for me and helping me out.

“I’m not that pregnant, Wanda.” I said with a chuckle, taking hold of her hand as we walked towards Avengers Tower.

“But you will be and I wanna be ready for when you are.”

I shook my head at her words, unable to believe how she was acting over my pregnancy. I knew she was protective of me even without a baby inside me, so it was clear that her overprotective nature was running on overdrive.

Once we entered and reached the floor that the party was being held on, we were instantly greeted by everyone congratulating us and wanting to touch my stomach.

Wanda instantly turned red, literally, and everyone knew to back off.

“Wanda,” I scolded her. “Relax.”

“How can I relax when everyone is trying to touch you?” She hissed into my ear and I shivered at the tone of her voice.

“They’re just excited.” I returned my attention to the crowd who were now just talking amongst themselves. “One of their baby members is having a baby.”

“I am not the baby here.” She argued and I laughed at her reaction. “Of course you’re not, my love.”

Natasha walked from the group of huddled up people back to us, smiling as she approached.

“Congratulations, Y/N, Wanda.” She took a sip of her drink. “When are you due?”

“The sixteenth of August.” I smiled brightly.

Wanda tugged on my hand and I ignored her, knowing she was just being ridiculous. It was Natasha, not some stranger.

“You okay there, Wands?” She asked and Wanda nodded curtly.

“She’s just a little moody.” I spoke for her, giving her hand a pat. “She didn’t want me to come tonight.”

“Oh? Why not?”

I gestured to everyone around us and she nodded in understanding. She knew how Wanda could be and she could only imagine how bad it was now that there was a baby on the way.

“Don’t worry, Wanda. I’ll let everyone know to relax with the touching and the questions.”

“Thank you.” I said as she walked away, Wanda’s grip on my hand loosening as we were left alone. “Are you really that upset about us being here?” I questioned her and her gaze fell to the ground. “We can leave, baby. I didn’t realize you felt so strongly about this.”

“No, it’s fine.” She said softly, pressing a kiss to my cheek. “You wanted to be here and … I guess I need to get used to people being around you and the baby.”

I nodded, giving her a sympathetic look before leading her over to where Tony and Steve were standing, nursing drinks and talking. I figured if we were going to leave early, which was very likely, we would have to at least speak to the host once.

“Y/N.” Tony greeted me. “Wanda. Nice light show you put on earlier. If I had known you were gonna do that I would’ve canceled the entertainment for tonight.”

Her eyes darkened and I chuckled nervously before Steve gave him a little nudge.

“Don’t listen to him, Wanda.” He said, extending his hand to her. “Congratulations.”

After a moment of staring daggers at Tony, she took Steve’s hand, shaking it.

“Thank you.” She smiled slightly. “We’re very excited.”

“As are we all.” Tony raised his glass in a toast. “To the new little Avenger.”

Wanda puffed out her chest, about to speak, before I squeezed her hand, reminding her to relax.

“I actually plan on retiring once the baby comes.” She said through gritted teeth. “The baby will have a normal life.”

He tilted his head at her, taking a gulp of his drink.

“If you say so, witchy.”

•

“Wanda, are you okay?” I asked softly, watching as she unlocked the front door and opened it, letting me walk in first.

“I’m fine.”

If she were a cartoon character, she’d be bright red with smoke coming out of her ears.

“I’m just …” She threw her hands up in frustration. “I can’t get over the fact that so many people were all over you.”

“They weren’t all over me.” I said softly.

“I’m just not used to people being all over my wife and baby.”

I walked up to her and wrapped my arms around her neck, pulling her close so I could kiss her.

“It’s only temporary. Once the baby is born we’ll be off in our own little world with nobody to bother us. But, right now …”

I ran my hands down her shoulders to her arms, taking her hands in my own before getting down on my knees in front of her, biting my lip as I undid the button on her pants.

“Y/N … you shouldn’t …”

“Shh,” I tugged on her pants and panties, exposing her pussy to me. “Bring it out.”

I looked up at her, watching as she bit her bottom lip, her eyes closing as a red colored cock emerged from between her legs, twitching with arousal. I smiled up at her and took her hardness in my hand, running my fingers along the tip, spreading her precum along her shaft.

“If … you feel like you c-can’t …” she stuttered softly and I ignored her, slipping her into my mouth.

She moaned, desperately gripping at my hair as I bobbed up and down along her length. I could feel her throbbing against my tongue and I couldn’t help but groan at the taste of her. Even though it wasn’t a real dick, it still tasted like her, felt like her, and she felt everything I did to it, which made this even more exciting.

“I-I’m gonna cum, baby.” She whimpered softly, running her fingers through my hair as her hips thrust up against my face.

She made a slight attempt to pull away from me and I grabbed her thighs, keeping her still. I wanted her to cum inside my mouth; I wanted all of her. Her hips bucked, her legs twitching as she came, her cum spurting down my throat and spilling out of my mouth. I did my best to swallow all of it, but there was so much and she was just cumming and cumming and …

She let out a breathy whimper, her brow furrowing as I continued to suck her off, taking all of her in my mouth.

“Y/N … I need …” I knew what she needed.

I let her slip out of my mouth, panting softly as I took her in my hand, stroking her length until she hardened again. She was so receptive to me, so reactive, and I loved that about her.

I licked the tip of her cock, smiling when I heard her breathy moan, her little intake of breath as I continued to take her inch by inch into my mouth again.

She let out a mewl as I swirled my tongue around her length, and I happily sucked on the tip, as if she’d be the last thing I’d ever have in my mouth.

“Y/N,” she whined, gripping desperately at my hair. “Don’t stop.”

I took her as deeply as I could, tears pricking at my eyes as she touched the back of my throat. She twitched and throbbed against my tongue as she came again, her throaty whimpers and moans almost pushing me over the edge too.

“Baby … detka …” she finally spoke again, her voice low and accent thick. “I love you.”

I smiled up at her, lips and chin covered in her cum, and licked at the remains.

“I love you more.”

[goldenpinof]

lmao now someone at tm has said the vip is cancelled which is clearly some poor customer service person who’s uninformed. this whole thing is a fucking disaster like could not be worse i fear. the venue said ticketmaster will give refunds for a portion of the ticket to get it back down to ga pricing and will communicate that soon. seems reliable but who knows. my hope is that at the least, everyone in this position is given silver vip perks for free so they at least get to interact with dnp and get the merch. it’ll never be a perfect solution bc dnp can only meet so many people but it’s the LEAST they can do even if it wasnt their fault tm fucked up so so badly

i have so many things to say about it but i'll try not to. Seattle, y'all.

i've seen two emails from the Ticketmaster manager and the venue's manager that say, "the VIP portion of the event has been cancelled" and "the VIP package portion of these orders will be cancelled". and the 1st one is probably just bad wording. which is confusing, but it's great that we have the 2nd email. there's also information about Silver VIPs having the same problem. which just says that Gold VIPs aren't gonna be downgraded to Silver. although, i don't see why.

because realistically, Ticketmaster can talk to dnp (not even to the venue, UTA or AEG, or their managers, dnp directly. if these 3 organizations + dnp IT managers can't come to a conclusion that every party is gonna be okay with) and try to solve this problem with them. Ticketmaster can't give us what we want themselves, but dnp surely can. and that is - at least Silver VIPs with preshow and VIP merch bundles. like, they are physically able to do this. it doesn't matter if there are 100 people at the preshow or 150 (edit: it would likely be 350 instead of 100. everything else still stands. making extra 300 VIP merch bundles is possible). they are all gonna be sitting there listening to dnp yap for 30-ish mins anyway. i understand why dnp can't make a pool of Gold VIPs bigger only because Ticketmaster fucked up. meeting people in person takes time and energy, even if in theory that could be done (a 2-hour meet and greet lmao), it would be harder for everyone involved. but Silver VIPs don't require anything extra from dnp or the venue. they are gonna be on stage anyway, so who the fuck cares if it's a little bit more people than they planned. these 2 added USA shows weren't planned either, and now they are making extra VIP bundles for them. so even that is not a problem. and before someone says, "safety issues and security", hire more people for 3 hours.

you know where i'm getting? it's a solvable problem, but only dnp can put pressure on the companies involved to solve it. if they only cared. because of course, AEG and the venue are gonna tell Ticketmaster to just quietly solve it themselves the way they can. but the thing is, they can't do it without upsetting dozens of people who were told they would meet dnp, get to the preshow, and have VIP merch. and now they don't get any of it at all. you see how fucked up the communication is and how easily Ticketmaster, dnp and us could meet in the middle with Silver VIPs? not even for free. "my hope is that at the least, everyone in this position is given silver vip perks for free so they at least get to interact with dnp and get the merch" i get why that would be very cool, but i don't think making it free has to be an option. downgrading Gold VIPs to Silver VIPs, and refunding only the m&g part would be more than enough. but they are not gonna fucking do it!!!! because communication is so freaking hard for companies and some people, that they rather die than propose a compromise and meet in the middle to solve a huge problem, if you ask me.

i'm not angry at dnp, btw. it should be Ticketmaster screaming, crying, throwing up trying to contact anyone they can to reach dnp, and solve this problem. oh, and there are commissions and shit, so Ticketmaster should be fined for this (and i fucking hope they are).

@danielhowell @amazingphil twitter is tagging you like crazy. i guess it's not enough.

[zhnnveuxpasdrmir]

Trying to explain that this quiet, braided anthology of short-short, thought variant, actor driven one-offs is a must-see breakthrough teleplay, a timeless masterpiece!, a work of explicable magic.

I was one of the six people in the world that actually saw this in 2010, but I'd only caught a few bits of it at the time. They were arresting as hell. It's exciting to finally get a chance to appreciate it now, due to the grisly stupidity of all corporate media conglomerates, and the ease of getting high quality archives of unfairly treated past media anonymously on the dark web, along with heroin and guns! 😁

I liked how The Booth At The End examines the fallacies inherent to popular reads of morality, and somehow criticizes specific religious cultures without once mentioning any of them, or admitting to any particular central framework by name. The script is rooted in widely understood monotheist ethics.

It's unrepentant, dour, merciless, and openly, loudly, glaringly deceptive in its candor.

Xander Berkeley. Holy shit. was just unbelievably powerful on this show. Every actor turns in a lifetime achievement award worthy scene, but mr Berkeley is just: setting your disbelief aside, so casually! You believe. The unthinkable is thoroughly plausible in these weency, handy little scenes that.... feel longer. You'll think it was an hour. It was like six minutes.

I don't know fully why this isn't a better known show! Maybe it's too hard to face. If you have an interest in the craft of acting, in show, this little one-sitting binge demonstrates expert theatrical film making.

And these goddamn endings will fuck you up for life!

so here's my theory on the Man, Doris, and the doom of human kind:

oh he's certainly not the Devil. He's a creation of G-D though for sure. As is Doris.

If he has to be a specific character from the stories, he's The Christ, not exactly The Messiah, but something a lot more like christian Jesus if he'd lived on since Resurrection, only through a magical realism lens instead of a worshipful one. The Man is aware of what G-D is, knows it's not what humans think it is. Some say "the wandering Jew" but no: this is not and never was a human.

if Doris has to be a specific character from the stories, she's Satan, or a fallen angel, but let's be real, G-D's ex-favorite, luring the new boy away from G-D's detachment, and into "the trap". I don't agree with the above article in thinking it ended too soon, it ends exactly where it should, where it has to.

because that demand Doris makes is real, and it's one that our planet's conception of G-D has always, always failed. She's right to state this demand, and the Man must comply. Both of them will be literally destroyed by the task. This is shown over and over in both seasons.

The Booth At The End is a genius series of stage teleplays that criticizes flaws in popular conceptions of G-D, how it distorts our perceptions, and how those distort our experience of need. Each "normal" character symbolizes a specific 'mistake' or foible; each supernatural character represents an attempt, by 'history' ambition institution or spiritual quest, to understand and eliminate those errors. The two seasons are a diptych demonstrating respectively How and Why we are trapped forever in a Hell of our own device. 🌞❤️

[vulturevanity]

Like, it was bad, y'all

I've been revisiting FiM because a friend decided to check it out (after she realized it was a significant part of my personality and wanted in on it), and by god, did they do a racism. And then another one. And then another one. And then-- you get the idea.

And I'm not talking about the weird ways in which they tackled the subject of racism itself, most notably on the later seasons. Setting aside awkward lessons in "be nice to those who look and act different from you", gen 4 is loaded with racist caricatures, cultural appropriation, tone-deaf storylines of conflict between natives and colonizers and a heap of other elements that, later on, the writers seemed to realize were, hmm!, not so great!, and therefore quietly phased out of the show without ever addressing them in a sensible way. Things that go as far back as episode 5.

It's late and I don't have the brain power to tackle all of these right now but I just want to list some of the things I'm deeply umcomfortable with in the show that I can recall right now:

Zecora as a character AND as the only zebra we see in the show for all of 9 seasons. Simultaneously the Token Black side character, the Magical N**** stereotype and the fact that she's described in the show as an "exotic" outsider. (You know, later on they had an Egyptian-coded character appear in the show. She was a pony. I never got why they didn't use that opportunity to fix The Zecora Problem)

The Buffalo episode. Speciically the fact that settlers took their sacred land and they were told to just "learn to share" and it was ok because the settlers gave them pies about it

That scene where Pinkie Pie dresses as a stereotype of Rroma people (which spawned a very popular arc in a parody that had her saying and singing the G-slur in multiple songs.)

The imperialism in The Crystal Empire (not king Sombra, the fact that after they defeated them, rather than letting a Crystal Pony rule the empire, they put Cadence, who is from Equestria, on the throne)

After deposing Chrysalis, the one changeling put in charge was the one the ponies had a good relation with (something that happens with startling frequency between the US and cartain parts of the Middle East)

The uncomfortable power dynamics between the pony races (especially the Hearthswarming Eve backstory)

The W*NDIGOS

And that's just off the top of my head. That's just what I can remember at 1 am while frantically typing in the dark.

The fandom's white supremacy problem suddenly isn't all that surprising when you realize how BAD things were in the show. It's not like it was doing much against that kind of bigotry.

And for the record, I'm not trying to "cancel" FiM. I still love this show with all my heart; it's really important to me, and it's still a good show that, in a way, kick-started the 2010s cartoon renaissance. We owe a lot to it. But that's exactly why I'm so upset by it's failings as a show that defined itself by its morals on friendship and standing together against hadship. To see the glaring blind spots on a show created by a white woman, with a writing room full of mostly white people, who despite having good intentions really did not know what they were doing sometimes. It hurts me as a fan of colour, and it hurts black and indigenous fans most of all but not exclusively.

Hopefully, now speaking a as someone aiming to be in the animation industry, we can use this as a learning experience, so we grow to be more critical of our own work, and maybe our own shortcomings won't be offensive or hurtful towards any demographic we may want to represent.

[dairy-farmer]

Hey i hope you’ve had a good week so far!

What if we have Bruce sabotaging tim’s relationship or potential relationships consciously or unconsciously, and once tim figures it out later (either after they’ve got together, or for before they get together, tim going for people his age then people older than him thats around bruce’s age to kind of like give bruce the hint that he’s interested) ig in this scenario its tim initiating the relationship??we need more of tim doing this tbh, thanks💗💗

-C

!!!!!!!!!!! i've been watching that scary 'hey arnold' episode for some early halloween spirit and bruce would absolutely channel the energies of helga g. pataki.

there are times in the comics where bruce absolutely behaves like a jealous little girl toward tim: the one that comes to mind is when he was on a date with zoanne wilkins at a fancy restaurant and then everyone inside GASPED because batman was outside the windows, perched on a gargoyle!!!! he looked back and shot a look at tim which is what caused tim to like spill food on himself and then go to the bathroom where he opened a window and was like 'uuhhh can i FUCKING help you????'

and bruce was like 'jitter is on the loose, cut your date short, come fight crime with me'

tim was rightfully like wtf??? no???? i'm on a DATE and jitter is literally a D grade villain you can handle him on your own goodbye.

tim returns to his date and literally 5 minutes later bruce and jitter fall through the glass cieling of the restaurant and land RIGHT on tim's table.

afterward tim confronts him like 'that was a really shitty move of you. i told you NO. i know you could've taken jitter on your own, you could've moved the fight somewhere else but you don't respect my word enough to believe me when i tell you 'no' to something'

like tim was getting really pissed at him because they took down jitter in like 30 seconds flat after he suited up and you have to admit it did look incrdibly suspicious.

but then bruce was like tim...🥺🥺🥺 that's not true 🥺🥺🥺🥺 i DID try but things just got a little out of hand🥺🥺🥺 you know i'd never purposefully ruin something like this for you 🥺🥺🥺

and tim just like '*sighs* fine...i believe you bruce. i'm sorry for accusing you like that. i guess i was just upset my date got wrecked'

like that man was so full of shit!!!!!

i remember reading that and thinking that was such a petty and jealous thing for bruce to do. like it's possible it really wasn't on purpose but i think that he did it in the moment, not even thinking about it because he was hurt tim told him to eff essentially over a girl. maybe afterwards it hit him and he felt guilty when tim confronted him but rather than admit it he doubled down because otherwise he'd look like a bad guy and it would put unnecessary tension and strain in his and tim's relationship.

THAT'S how i think bruce would go about sabotaging tim's relationships. like he'd just get so...unecpectedly emotional and jealous about it. he'd do it in the heat of the moment without thinking of the consequences.

like tim and his boyfriend are having a picnic on the lawn of the manor?? they're on a blanket to protect them from bugs and the grass and then just lean in and start kissing each other.

and bruce who's been watching from the windows the entire time just...turns on the sprinklers.

and once he sees their shock and immediate sprinting away from the water it hits what he's done.

and he feels guilty but 100% doesn't own up to it. he tells himself he needs to stop sabotaging tim's relationships because it's making tim sad. but he can't help it.

and it gets worse when tim turns 18 and his tastes grow a bit...older.

when bruce is stuck tensely making conversation at the door with a boy he hasn't seen since highschool while tim finishes getting ready for his date, that's when the gloves come off.

he's petty and he's jealous and does things like canceling dinner reservations, and hiding the chocolates and flowers tim gets sent- just stuffing them all into an unused closet.

and tim is just...so sad??? he's been having such bad luck in teh dating department and doesn't know why.

and bruce feels so guilty when tim comes to him for comfort (not enough to stop). but then he and tim keep spending time together because tim comes to him every time something doesn't work out.

they start spending more time together, outside of tim looking for comfort.

and then...tim makes a move and bruce accepts.

and he's so worried the same will happen. that karma will kick in or he'll start unconsciously sabotaging himself.

but it doesn't.

one month passes, two, then three, then four.

bruce is tim's longest-running relationship and bruce is so careful to do everything right. hand-delivering gifts, candies, and flowers to tim. taking him out to nice places.

bruce is content and happy. he doesn't even think of all the things that he's done, all the sabotage he did that led to this.

he never even thinks of that abandoned hall closet with all the dried up flowers and expired chocolates that he never emptied out.

he doesn't think about how a few weeks before he and tim got together, alfred was spring cleaning and asked for tim's help.

he doesn't consider that tim may have been in that wing of the manor and stumbled across the sight along with mountains of ripped up cards addressed to him from various relationships that never panned out.

he doesn't think about how tim is as much of a detective as he is.

[mcalhenwrites]

Yet another writing-related rant (it's actually a rant lmao)

Okay, I don't want to see "wow let's make sure now more than ever to have positive queer rep" bc while it's good to have that, it's not wrong to have toxic queer characters, and that won't make the fucking fashies like us more!

How about we all just write what we want to write, making sure it's not bigoted*, and stop fucking supporting book bans along the fascists bc if you hadn't noticed, it's after ANY queer rep and ANY rep for people of color.

*And make sure when you're working around this, you're not attacking people who talk about the discrimination they've faced. Work on boycotting bigoted propaganda.

Positive representation is important, but the people who write the less positive stuff aren't your fucking enemy. I fall under the queer umbrella several times, and I've met people who are toxic in that community.

Actually, you know what? I'm a better person than I used to be, but there have been times I've been hurtful or toxic too. I work to be better every fucking day, but I grew up with some shitty people and I used to hurt myself, and in doing so, I was hurting my friends. I would be hard on myself and make fun of things with friends so we could all feel better about ourselves, and do you know what that fucking did? NOTHING GOOD. Sometimes people aren't great. And honestly, someone who isn't great might get better! Someone who was horrible to you might go on to be a better person to other people. As long as they're learning to be better. For those that do harm that requires legal consequences, they need legal consequences. But let's not say "they're not queer" or w/e. Harm is done in all groups.

I'm currently wrapping up a story that has two abusive gay fathers. And before anyone says, "Queer people make better parents" NO ALL PARENTS CAN MAKE MISTAKES

And I've seen plenty of queer people normalize spanking kids, heck I've seen it even when they have spanking kinks. Like, nah, I'm sorry, go fucking read Psychopathia Sexualis cases to see how many found their kink via childhood (and I dislike Krafft-Ebing immensely, but at least he even said "maybe we should stop spanking kids"), look up Rousseau, actually just do any research for an hour and you'll find out how much of a sexual violation that was for so many people when they were kids.

And even if the kids don't find it sexually violating, they can still be messed up from it. It's not effective.

And you'd think(???) with all the queer people who are like "my parents beat the shit out of me when they found out I am gay/trans/etc" they'd be less inclined to be chill about child abuse. But no. Actually. So many still justify it. Practice it. We need toxic stories just as much as positive ones, because it's actually a good sign that if you read something with toxic characters and find it uncomfortable, you recognize that the behavior is bad! This doesn't mean you can't enjoy the story, either! Though maybe you won't, and that's okay!

What's important is that you're like, "Yeah that's not a good way to treat a person IRL, this is interesting to explore in fiction" and stop fucking trying to cancel out everything to please fashies

THEY WILL NOT LIKE YOU EVER THEY WANT TO KILL US ALL

It's why your shitty crap about cutting the B and T and Q out is also just as fucking horrifying. Why it's so curious that we always have to leave the I out! THEY WANT TO END THE L AND G TOO

Ugh I'm so angry.

I have positive representation but damn I have negative representation bc sometimes I need a good fucking cry over my exasperation over the world.

Anyway. Yeah. Today's ruling shouldn't end with "oh my god positive representation of queer people is SO IMPORTANT after today" yeah no let's all be loud and proud, and if someone is truly doing harm, we make sure to take measures to lessen that harm.

I really wish people realized fucked up fiction can be catharsis and informative, and IRL offers some horrifying shit that we sometimes have to write about through fiction to tell our stories or it hits too close to home. I literally was reading a thread about people's experiences growing up in cults/churches just last night and think maybe that's an actual thing to work on fighting in the US.

I'm going to write toxic shit and if you go in thinking that the exposure to it will make you suddenly do terrible things, maybe think about if you weren't already a horrible person going in or why you think fiction is a how-to manual (and never an insight to what has already been done to people). Personally, I can read something awful and go, "Yeah that's wrong, and I have a solid personal moral system that still holds up after I consumed this fiction."

Sorry for the incoherence, this was actually a rant lmao

[samanthaaaachan]

2022 Albums of the year!!

1 - Deep in View by Cola

My favorite album of the year. This is what I wish all post punk was like. Theres a clear pop influence here that drives every song and just makes it a joy to listen to. I'm tired of the sad, ominous dirge of post punk (looking at you UK) and this is the completely opposite direction. The instrumentation is fantastic especially the drums. These songs just move you forward and to dance. I really hope we hear more from Cola and more music in this vein in general. Plus I saw them this year and they were great.

Nothing on here quite reaches the peaks of Beautiful Blue Sky by their former band Ought but wow its so so fun.

Favorites: Blank Curtain, At Pace, Gossamer, Water Table

2 - Blue Rev by Alvvays

Idk what else needs to or can be said about this album and Alvvays in general. Impeccable is the first word that comes to mind. The songs are tight, fun, rocky, power-pop bangers. I mean what more can you want from Alvvays? They're falling into that Beach House category where they don't really branch out much because why would they? They're perfect at what they do. That being said I do love some of the newer directions they've gone like the shoegaze influences and especially how psychedelic they get on songs like Very Online Guy (which sounds like if Kevin Parker somehow ended up playing bass in Alvvays).

Just listen to this album 100 times its perfect, its great, I don't know what more you can ask of Alvvays at this point.

3 - Expert in a Dying Field by The Beths

Power Pop! Power! Pop!! Its so back. A lot of what I said for Alvvays applies here too. I love The Beths the guitar work is awesome and Elizabeth Stokes is one of my favorite song writers nowadays. Every song is so fun to listen and sing to. I really preached to everyone about this album because its so good. 2am is one of my favorite album closers ever. What a beautiful, beautiful song and my favorite song this year. It still gives me chills after listening to this album probably a dozen times this year.

Do you feel it? Feel it like you did back then? 2 a.m., we were pounding the pavement And I wonder could we be that way again? Still awake, talking late in the kitchen

4 - Cave World by Viagra Boys

This album was such a surprise! I like Viagra Boys (I mean who doesnt love Sports?) but I didnt expect this kind of album from them. They've always been good but this album is unique and has such a voice. Its the most topical of all the albums on here with all its references to vaccines and adhd and everything. Its all all tongue in cheek (I'm 99% sure lol) but it puts the album in a really fun place. All of the electric and poppy and rocky influences make this such a joy to listen to. I kind of thought Viagra Boys would fall into the sea of post punk bands and put out solid albums every 3 years but this is one I'm going to keep going back to again and again. I'm really excited to see what they make next. Also I neeeeeed to see this live. I haven't seen them yet and they canceled their show near me.

5 - God Save the Animals by Alex G

Is Alex G emo? Why not? This album is a new direction for Alex G after his kind of maximalist House of Sugar and Rocket it returns to more stripped down guitar and keyboard sound. I love the way he writes songs they're sad but hopeful? The lyrics are almost all dark but the instrumentation is so optimistic and you know the people in the song are trying despite their failures. Its very real plus its fun to listen to. Runner is somehow the best country song released in years while emo at the same time. I'm really happy that Alex G put this one together as he's a very important artist for me and means so much. He's so talented and really puts it all together on God Save the Animals.

6 - Nicks and Grazes by Palm

7 - Horeshit on Route 66 by The Garden

8 - Stumpwork by Dry Cleaning

9 - Super Champion by Otoboke Beaver

10 - Stalled Flutes, Means by Asian Glow

Honorable Mentions: Forget Your Own Face, Wet Leg, Dreams (by Elephant Gym), PRE PLEASURE, Big Time, and Emotional Eternal

[barbierpt]

i’m really, really sad to see your responses to these anons. saying you’ve never suffered from a g*nocide so you can’t relate is so… i don’t even have the words. i’ve never suffered from it either but you see an entire people being murdered, in a slow, deliberate, and gruesome way, and your post on that is “i can’t relate” is just so disappointing. i have always liked you and your account even when others didn’t, but there’s certain basic empathy concepts that i thought i saw from you in the past but somehow don’t seem to have the same effect in this case. i really do hope you see what these people are saying and it’s not a question of trying to get you cancelled or being haters, it’s just sheer disappointment in your humanity.

this tells me you didn't read my post in full. or any of my responses on the topic. so let me see if i can summarize this in a better way then. i can't even remotely begin to relate to what those affected by this situation are going through and feeling. this is more than just losing a loved one, it's a world event that's been going on for years. i sympathize with the victims and those who are personally affected by the awful situation going on.

for those who don't understand the concepts, empathy involves feeling what someone else feels, while sympathy doesn't. sympathy instead involves understanding someone else's emotions but from your own perspective. it's hard for me to empathize on this because i've never been part of a genocide or war. i can't even begin to imagine what that feels like.

at the end of the day i don't understand why my feelings matter on this subject in the tumblr rpc when i'm just some random blogger. i'm not some public official or celebrity so why are we so obsessed with whether i'm crying daily over the victims of a genocide or not? i've said my piece, go back and read it carefully or don't. but the fact that random people on the internet in this corner of tumblr want to blow it up into something it's not is really only proving my point of how performative the majority of this community is. this isn't doing anything to change the current situation in real life and it's also not about you or how i feel if we're not involved in it. it's really about how the people affected feel and what's being done about it.

just saying, if you're the person who thinks that getting angry over some stranger behind a screen not sharing the same level of anger and upset over a current world event that is affecting real people in the most devastating and heartbreaking way, maybe think about whether you actually really care about the issue at hand.

[imagine--if]

Seo Moonjo SFW Alphabet

[The only alphabets on Seo Moonjo (from Strangers from Hell) are really dark and the reader's fairly innocent, but this goes along the lines of the reader being aware of what Moonjo does and him not being as cold and heartless towards them - so enjoy!]

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

I feel like Moonjo's fairly touch-starved, so he'll be a little hesitant and wary at first, but once you give him a hug and you're patient, he'll be legit addicted to hugs and kisses and stuff. He's not really one for PDA, in the sense that he won't do much more than stay close to you or hold your hand when other people are around, but when some poor guy tries their luck, Moonjo has... uh... his own methods of scaring them off, without having to get all touchy with you. He gives affection at random moments too, and there are a lot of times in the day you'll find him just staring with a small smile, but he's not trying to 'be offensive to you' 😂

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

It'd take a while for Moonjo to trust you like he trusts Eom Boksoon, but if you listen and don't cause chaos or whatever, he'll probably confide in you little by little. Maybe even tell you what he's planning before he does it? I guess it depends on how loyal and trustworthy you are. He'd put you first before the others and would be more protective.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Uh, yes. Definitely. Moonjo would most likely cuddle when you're at home alone together, where he's most vulnerable with you - needless to say, he's quite the tsundere. He'll cuddle in bed, like, in a very clingy way after he's gotten past the tensed-up and hesitant factor of being introduced to affection, and each time he'll open up a bit about his past and things like that. But it'll be a matter of keeping what he tells you quiet and not spreading it, or... yea. But you're trustworthy to him, so you're good 😜

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Moonjo can cook and clean really well, but once or twice a week he'll take you out to big restaurants and pamper you. Obviously, he's a cannibal, but he wouldn't force you into eating it if you don't want to. And if you do... he may or may not find that a hella hot 😏 Once you two have gone out for a few months, he isn't interested in anyone else, because to him, you're already a special masterpiece.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

The only way he'd ever break up with you is if you betrayed his trust in any way. And if you do that, he'd be pretty much impossible to reach by anyone else when they want to try to get close to him. He's learnt his lesson in placing trust on someone who doesn't value it, and won't ever make the same mistake again. But that's the only circumstance and a highly unlikely one.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Marriage isn't much of a big deal to Moonjo, since he already only has eyes for you. When he does ask you to marry him it'd be at a private and meaningful moment.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

He's only ever going to be gentle with you, hands up. He's a great listener, and god help anyone that's giving you grief. He'll make sure that you're well looked after and if there's a day where you're not feeling your best, he'll cancel his workday at the dentist and stay with you, no problem. Since he hasn't been shown, like, any affection before you came into his life, it'd be very new to him but he'd catch on fairly easily and give you advice and hugs when you need them. If it's him that isn't feeling great, you'll do the same for him, which means a lot.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Like I've mentioned, he's very into cuddles and hugs and stuff, so when you two are alone, that's the hotspot for the fluffiness 💕 he's still a psycho, obviously, but he genuinely loves you and at this point will die and kill for you, and you're aware of what he does but don't let that put you off. So he does start the hugs often (he's actually an amazing hugger) and loves the attention.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

This milestone will take him some time, but once he fully trusts you and all, he'll tell you, or whisper it to you when you're in bed or when he thinks you're asleep. He'll say it a lot since he feels the need to assure you, and at the times he doesn't, he'll show you through actions (which I'll get to in a sec)

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

He doesn't trust anyone fully apart from you, which makes him a very protective person. However, he gets that you need your freedom too and won't be overly possessive, but when a boy gets too close or tries anything, he'll give them a warning through one of his creepy/deep lines, and if they don't care then their teeth are added to his collection. People are obvious when they try stuff, so Moonjo will and does notice. If you're uncomfortable, he'll kill them without any warning, and if you want to watch or request anything, he's all ears.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

WoOw okay--

Moonjo likes forehead and cheek kisses, like, before either of you go to work or something, but he's passionate in actual make-out kissing and stuff. It's the best cure for his busy mind and he's addicted to it and you, so its gonna happen a lot

Especially at the times where he's had an annoying day and he just wants to cuddle and stuff, its on big time, and often leads to more sUgGeStIvE things 😂😂

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

He doesn't hate them, but he doesn't love them either. He's used to dealing with them since he's a dentist and all, but he wouldn't be keen on the idea of becoming a father, because that complicates things and he grew up in an orphanage, so he won't know how to look after them too well and wouldn't want to 🤣

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

In the mornings he's most vulnerable and soft, and he'd drag out staying in bed for as long as he can, just talking and cuddling and kissing. And if someone in the apartment wants to interrupt for an unimportant reason... they're in a dangerous place.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Similar to mornings, but he likes to go on the roof with beer with you or just for midnight walks every now and then. You guys talk about your day and things like that, so to any normal person its all 'couple goals' haha

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

It will take him a bit to open up to you since he hates the thought of himself being weak in front of others, but slowly but surely he does open up about the orphanage and killing his parents. When you're understanding and hear him out it'd make him fall in love more since he's never been in a close relationship like the one you two have and he'll do everything he can to keep you with him.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

It'd be almost impossible to get him angry, and I doubt he'll ever get angry with you unless you betray his trust (which is already covered) He's an extremely patient guy, but if someone's purposefully causing trouble and mucking up his plans he'll just get rid of them.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Everything. He's a very observant guy, so he's gonna remember loads of what you reveal to him, but never look down on you because of anything you say. He has the same favourite author as you and remembers your hobbies, so dates and nights out will often include them.

R = Remember (What is their favourite moment in your relationship?)

His favourite moment was him watching you completely concentrating on a hobby and just looking so ethereal to him, so hard-core pining there no lies hehe

Or wearing his jumpers, that's another simp factor for soft boy Moonjo 💗

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Yep, Moonjo is a very protective boyfriend, and he's not in any way stupid, so you're his number one priority. He himself doesn't need much protection, but if you get any information he hasn't heard of and tell him it'll definitely help and it grounds his trust a lot too.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

He spoils you rotten, ngl, so he'll put loads of effort into dates and handmade gifts and whatnot.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Um, let's see - cannibalism?? Maybe? 🤣🤣

As I've said though, if you don't like it he won't do it around you, but if you do then you share a common interest, and he's gonna LOVE it

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Moonjo is a little insecure about his scars, but with loads of praising and compliments from you, it won't bother him much. He looks after himself well, but he doesn't care much about how he looks to other people because they aren't important and don't mean anything to him.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Absolutely. He wants you there with him when he goes about his killings or just in general, and you're always on his mind when he's supposed to be working or when you're apart.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Moonjo has a knack for making... uh... original pieces of art like bracelets and necklaces, so he'll take ages on crafting specially thought out accessories and give them to you as gifts when he's done. Full-on simp when he sees you wearing them around, no lie 😍

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

He loves every little thing about you, okay?! So the only weird and kind of disturbing habit he has is cannibalism, and if he knows you don't like it, he won't do it around you.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Clingy sleeper for sure. He's often the big spoon, but he's a light sleeper, so if you're having a nightmare he'll wake you up and comfort you, and if you try to get up you'll be practically yanked back into his embrace. Whispers sweet nothings a lot when you've both just woken up or are close to sleep.

So in conclusion, Moonjo is a psycho killer cannibal, but he'd never hurt or pressure you into anything. His only grip on sanity is with you, so give him a hug 🤣💗

[leviathans-watching]

So it’s my birthday today which gave me the idea;

How would the brothers [+datables] go about celebrating MCs birthday if they haven’t celebrated it before? Like some people literally don’t care about birthdays.

MC who doesn’t celebrate their bday

includes: brothers + dateables x/& gn!reader

wc: .8k | rated g | m.list

a/n: sorry, i had to do this on my phone so if it feels a little eh that’s why. i took out solomon due to the 10 image limit bc it needed to happen lol. thanks for requesting & happy late birthday! my inbox is open to chat or if you want to req! (i promise i’ll get to those requests that have been sent in the last week i’m just on vacation rn!!)

pls reblog 🛐🛐

➳ lucifer knows you don’t make a big deal of your birthday so he just gets you a small gift, something he hopes you’ll have use for and carry with you. he doesn’t bother with the fanfare or anything, just handing it over plainly. he wishes you a happy birthday, of course, but that’s about it. he also gives you the tiniest bit more affection than normal.

➳ mammon had been planning something big, of course, but once he learns you really wouldn't want that, he scraps the plans, not wanting to put you in an awkward or uncomfortable position. he still gives you the gifts he was planning to get you, he just refrains from like, whisking you away to celebrate overnight.

➳ levi is a little relieved, as he doesn’t really put that much stock in birthdays either. he wasn’t going to do anything bug for you, just invite you to his room to play, where he’d give you the animes he bought for the two of you to watch together. he still feels shy giving you stuff, so he’s a but of a blushing mess, but honestly you appreciate how low-key it is.

➳ satan also doesn’t tend to celebrate his birthdays, so he sees where you’re coming from, even if it's for a different reason. in his mind, why should birthdays matter if he’s already had thousands of them? he knows you’ve only had so many so he still does a little something to acknowledge it, but its probably not a gift, maybe more like a picnic or something.

➳ asmo is a bit disappointed, as he had high hopes for your birthday, but makes do, trying his best to keep it chill. he still gives you the bath & beauty stuff he was planning on, he just cancels the spa appointment he had planned. and the lunch date. and the hair cut. you get the idea. he wanted to spoil you, but well, if you don't want that that’s okay. he can just spoil you in other ways.

➳ beel was just going to cook you something, so he figured he could keep that plan since that’s not really a crazy celebration thing. he just chooses a less fancy meal and frames it more like ‘yeah let’s have dinner together’ instead of ‘here’s your b-day dinner!’ you’ll like the food, he knows that, and really, he’s down to do anything you want and accelerate however you want.

➳ belphie honestly forgot about your birthday. like, he knew in the back of his mind it was approaching, but the date snuck up on him. so it was a good thing you didn’t want to celebrate or anything. he just wishes you a happy birthday and that’s that, but inside he’s super thankful you don’t want to get or do anything since he wasn’t prepared.

➳ simeon doesn't really understand where you’re coming from, as birthdays are the celebration of life, right? even though he doesn't get it he respects that you don’t want to make a big deal out of it and just gives you something small. it’s probably homemade and heartfelt, and he feels joy when he sees you using it on later dates.

➳ barbatos is already aware you refer not to celebrate but still can’t resist doing at least something. he makes your favorite dessert and delivers it himself, not sticking around long. he makes a few batches of whatever it is, making sure he gets it perfect, and on at least one of the tries he enlists luke to help.

➳ diavolo pouts because he already had a grand party planned. you’re the exchange student! you should be celebrated! however, lucifer and barbatos manage to talk him down and he settles for a small party, with only those closest to you (the brothers, angels, solomon, etc.). he tries his best to not o crazy while also showing his appreciation for you.

leviathans-watching’s work - please do not repost, copy, or claim as your own

[thekrows-nest]

*wiggles inside askbox* So I have a very maybe specific scenario of jealous!Krow and Scarlet (Dove OC) in mind so I decided to word vomit it in your asks c: Basically, a situation where Krow had bought time with Scarlet like always but some sort of rather rich client comes up, pushes a lot of money onto the counter and demands whatever schedule Scarlet had to be cancelled and send her to him instead. It just so happens that Krow is there too (waiting for Scarlet to show up) and when Scarlet does show up so she can go with him (maybe even gave him a smile cuz she's comfortable w him 💕🥲), the man grabs her by her shoulders still demanding to take her time. Scarlet to make the man less aggraviated may say something like "Calm down there sweetheart~ How are you going to do me if you use all your energy being angry? You gotta save a bit" and just being the flirty way she is used to be with clients but ofc we got Krow there 👀💃 Anygays to stop my word vomiting, maybe we can have the man trying to drag Scarlet out by force and some jelly Krow action 😏😏 OKAY THAT IS ALL MY DAYDREAMING BYEEEE

🔞MINORS DO NOT INTERACT 🔞

Hoo boy, is it on like Donkey Kong.

Krow would have put the deposit down at the counter, only the barest of polite smiles to the one manning the space. "F-for Scarlet. Please." It wasn't necessary for him to have said that, they knew who Krow was here for. He was here for only one of the girls, ever. He intended to take up as much time of Scarlet's as possible, it was all he could do until he made enough to spring her out of this hellhole. He was getting closer, he just needed a bit more, if he could find someone suitable--

A man entered, with a suit that screamed more money than (fashion) sense, and one of the kind of people Krow loathed for their mightier than thou attitude. All cause they won life's lottery by being born into extreme privilege. They still bled the same though.

He had put down an obscene amount of money at the counter, but the name her had given made Krow's blood run cold.

"Scarlet. Make sure all other appointments with her are canceled tonight."

How dare he. Krow clenched a hand into a fist, bringing it to his lips and biting into his first finger, eyes glimmering green. How dare he.

Scarlet came from one of the back rooms, and Krow pulled his hand back. Their gazes met, and she smiled at him, genuinely happy to see him, and he couldn't help but smile back. But the moment was brief.

The man stepped toward Scarlet, grasping her shoulders roughly, demanding he be seen, now. Krow heard her try calm him down, using that fake flirtatious voice of hers. This couldn't stand.

Getting to his feet, Krow quickly apporached the, grasping his arm rather firmly and making him turn to face him.

"G-get away from h-her."

Krow looked up to the man, eyes darkened, pupils an eerie, noxious green, yet the man seemed unperturbed by this, merely giving something like a scoff and a scowl.

"What are you doing here past your bedtime kid? Shouldn't you run along home to mom--"

There was a sudden shriek from the man as Krow had grasped his arm more, putting another hand on it, pulling it off from Scarlet's shoulder and twisting it hard.

"I said. Get. Away. From. Her."

Krow pushed the man away from Scarlet, moving in quick to stand between her and them, all the while glaring at the man. He rubbed a hand at the injured arm, shooting the much shorter man a glare.

"You little-- do you know who I am?!"

"N-no. And I-I don't care. Y-you're some l-lowlife s-scum that bullies his way w-with everything. I-I'm being nice. Get out. O-or I will MAKE y-you get out."

The man scoffs again, still holding his arm, and goes to the counter, rudely taking his money back.

"I will find you, you punk stuttering son of a bitch. My lawyers will hear about this."

"Do it. I-I'll LOVE f-for you to e-explain where this... altercation occurred." You won't live long enough to see the results anyway.

Another glare was cast from the man, as he took his money and left the brothel in shame, metaphorical tail between his legs. Krow soon after turned to Scarlet, eyes their normal violet hue.

"I-I'm sorry Dove, f-for being so aggressive. I-I just... I couldn't. F-forgive me? ...M-may we... g-go to the back?" He gives a small, meek smile, like a scolded child seeking forgiveness, with a yearning gaze.

This wasn't a scene he wanted to cause, and certainly if his Beloved weren't here now, he might go after that man. But that could wait another night. Tonight, he was with his Songbird, and he wanted to hear her sing.

[cactus-stories]

SFW Alphabet Headcanons for Mammon :D

I used this Alphabet List made by @heauxzenji, thanks for the list, it is really nice!

Mammon is one of my favourite brothers, right next to Satan, and I can't say how much I enjoy headcanons about him, I hope you guys like it!

TW: none

A is for Adventure: something they haven’t done but have always wanted to

Definitely rob a bank. I mean, he has tried to, multiple times, but Lucifer has always maanged to stop him before he could do any damage. MC is complaining about not having enough money to buy something and jokingly says "we could always rob the nearest bank". He looks at them, mesmerized, blue eyes shining with expectation, until they explain it is just a joke...

B is for Butterflies: How they act when they’re nervous

Trembles a lot, his voice gets more squeaky and he's looking around for ways to escape. Really fast when running from people and will literally jump out of a window instead of facing Lucifer.

C is for Crush: what is it like when they have a crush? How do they know/act?

Acts like he doesn't care about them, but it's painfully obvious by how flushed he gets and how much he's stuttering. Would try to spend more time with them, using all the excuses in the book instead of just being honest.

D is for Date: describe an ideal date for them

Honestly, a simple day with them, maybe watching a movie or playing games. Snacks next to them and a bunch of blankets and pillows lying around.

E is for Essential: what is one thing they could NEVER go without

Apart from Goldie, I think it's lip balm. Boy's a model, he can't be caught with chapped lips. Most people don't notice it, so when MC starts giving him random lip balm flavours as gifts he treats them like the best thing ever, and make a fuss out of using it in front of them as much as he can (don't tease him tho, or he'll get a bit sad and probably stop it).

F is for Favorite: a favorite anything- food, place, smell, book, etc.

Apart from money, his second favourite thing is his crows. He finds them really cute, and always keeps the gifts they give him. He taught them how to swear and used to have them steal Lucifer's expensive pens before the older brother found out about it.

G is for Giggle: how they laugh/what makes them laugh

He has a really cute and high pitched laugh, and is absolutely not embarassed about it. Boy laughs at everything, can't keep a straight face to save his life, which ends up getting him in trouble with Lucifer often.

H is for Holding Hands: Do they like holding hands? Are their hands warm or cold? Pinky promises?

His hands are really warm, if he notices MC's hands are even slightly cold, he'll wrap his around them quickly, trying to help out. He loves holding hands while linking arms, keeping them as close as possible. Doesn't really do pinky promises, but that's mostly because he trusts them and doesn't need the affirmation as much.

I is for Inside Joke: something they do that everyone thinks is funny but they don’t understand

All of his brothers compare him to his crows because of the amount of times he runs his hands through his hair. They joke about him preening himself and very rarely caw around him.

J is for Jinx: Are they Superstitious?

Not really, he knows the risks of cursed objects and wrongly casted spells, but there's almost always a logical explanation in some book in Satan's room, so he's okay with it.

K is for Kiss: how do they kiss?

Lots of small pecks on their face before going for a longer kiss on their lips.

L is for Love Languge: what is their love language? How do they give and how would they like to receive love?

Definitely gives love via gifts, he can be pretty stingy with his money, so if he buys you something it's a clear sign that you mean a lot to him. Loves physical touch, run your hands through his hair or hug him from behind and he'll melt happily in your arms.

M is for Meant to be: how/when they know someone is “the one”

If he notices their compliments are genuine. Many people use him for his status, ãnd he's used to being offended and used as a punching bag, so genuine compliments are a breath of fresh air, and automatically makes you go up on his personal ranking.

N is for Nickname: a nickname they would have or their favorite thing to be called

Would absolutely use Treasure as a nickname, or Sunshine. He loves being called Pretty Boy, Good Boy, and Handsome.

O is for Organization: are they clean or messy?

Have you seen his room lmao?? Messy bitch and you know it, but he can always find everything he needs in his mess.

P is for Pet Peeve: What’s something they absolutely CAN’T stand?

Anyone making fun of Levi. He knows his brother is very insecure and as much as HE goofs around and makes fun of him, no one else is allowed to >:(

Q is for Quiet: What do they do for peace of mind

When he's stressed out and needs to take a break he plays Solitaire by himself. After MC moves in with them, he goes to their room and jumps onto their bed, watching them study or play games in silence.

R is for Rainy Day: Do they like rain? What about storms? How would they spend a rainy day?

Enjoys rain, hates thunder. Spends rainy days playing games inside, or wrapped in blankets, protecting himself from the loud noise with some loud cancelling headphones Levi lends to him.

S is for Soft: Describe their softest feature

Man is absurdly kind, helps anyone he notices struggling, and will hate it when it gets mentioned. Enjoys just knowing he did a good thing, and always ends up in a good mood afterwards.

T is for Telephone: are they a talker or a texter? How often do they use their phone?

Both, loves spamming people with texts if they don't answer right away. Could spend the entire day on the phone if it's with someone he likes. Alternatively, if it's someone he doesn't like, you can expect one worded messages and call being ignored constantly. He is more used to ignoring problems than confronting them.

U is for Unique: a random quirk they have

Really good with Math and numbers in general. His voice is surprisingly soothing, which surprises MC, considering how much they hear him screaming. It's really easy to fall asleep hearing him speak about something.

V is for Valentine: Are they the type to celebrate or not?

Absolutely, he'd be shy about it, but at the same time would want to do something big. Baby is conflicted.

W is for Wholesome: something extremely pure about them that makes you just *uwu*

How easily he blushes. He could just brush his hand against MC's and is already red all the way to his chest.

X is for Xenia: How they would entertain a guest/show hospitality

Probably the one that gives guests the tour of the entire place, offering snacks and making lighthearted jokes.

Y is for Youth: A fond childhood memory they have

Playing hide and seek with his little brothers in the Celestial Realm.

Z is for Zzz: Sleep habits. Do they cuddle in their sleep? Talk? What do they dream about?

Absolute cuddler, doesn't really talk or snore much. He sleeps naked or with underwear. Usually his dreams are about random everyday stuff, but sometimes he has nightmares about the Celestial War and hurting his loved ones because of his sin.

[vtforpedro]

medical/life stuff - TWs in tags

hnnnnn this is long sorry I've got a lot of stuff going on and none of it is good lol beyond getting my third covid dose and flu vaccine, I guess. did those three days ago and only had mild fatigue and arm soreness this go around worried about actually getting covid from the pharmacy tho cause they didn't require masks and it was really busy hahahaha and so many people were coughing and sneezing and no one was social distancing hahahaha I am always scared of going anywhere, even to see my PCP, because of covid. it's my life now and has been since covid got to the US. I've only been this scared after going to the ER, truly hope I don't get sick. but looking forward to another year of fear either way anyway. have some abdominal stuff going on and there could be benign reasons but it hurts a lot. luckily I finally have my appt with an actual GI in two days. he's the same doc who did my colonoscopy/endoscopy. sooo we know I'm good from that procedure but when he presses on my guts and I react in Pain™ I'm a little afraid of what he might suggest lol 😩 also have some lady stuff going on that started a couple of weeks ago. I actually had an appt with an OBGYN scheduled so I could talk about getting off birth control since it's a leading (potentially) contributing factor to literally everything that's wrong with me. I canceled it because delta has gotten so bad and then of course my lady parts are now being weird. so I am going to reschedule in a few weeks once the vaccine is at its best cause I am also 1.5yrs behind on a pap also thanks to covid s i g h also! my leg muscles are atrophying. so that's really fun and exciting and I guess I get to set up an appointment with my pcp to figure out 🙃 what 🙃 I fucking do about it 🙃 because I can't do PT!!!! I can hardly do any physical movement which I assume is causing the problem because of my neuro shit, which is also not fixed and probably never will be idek how to process seeing my muscles shrinking in my legs. I'm trying not to think about it too much before I see my doctor but it's scary. it just is I don't know what else to say about it still in a weight plateau. trying to be kind to myself with reminders that I am stretched as thin as I can go and have new, awful stressors every fucking week (which makes me snack when I'm in breakdown mode and not on the good stuff, even if I'm sticking to my calorie budget) so it's not shocking weight isn't coming off. it still is, but at the most glacial pace. it's taken three months to get 9.7lbs down. should be at 15+. still really hoping I hit my big goal (just 10lbs away!!!!!!) before the end of the year I don't know if upping the dosage of nerve pain meds has helped or not because my IIH stuff is episodic now. my new neuro was actually willing to put me on the med no one else wants to without a lumbar puncture cause I am describing obvious elevated pressure in the brain which is causing expected IIH symptoms and he's not a moron. which is nice of him but I also don't want to be on it because it's not without moderate to severe risks? most people end up getting off it within a few weeks or months but hey at least he fucking believes me and said yeah it's prolly IIH but I can't diagnose you without the LP but let's cautiously treat it as IIH I've had two appointments with my psychologist now and I ...... like him....??? but also I don't??? he's fine personally, I think, but I have my doubts already about how he's going to be able to help me professionally. thinking of just calling it quits now and finding someone who takes my insurance so it'll be one less worry. I want to work on trauma and I feel like $150 was completely wasted last week so that's a red flag, right? lol finding a decent therapist is so fucking hard and I wish it wasn't my lease is up in mid-february so I will get a renewal offer no later than early-mid december. it's gonna go up over $400 lol four people have moved out in my building in the last month because of the increase. I paid $680 for this exact same apartment (before renovations but I barely

count them because they're cheap af) when I moved in and it's on the market for $1650-1720 now. makes me feel physically ill my mom can't afford it. she tells me she can, but I truly do not believe it. she says it would make her crazy trying to find somewhere else because I can't move in with her while my brother lives there, because I'm so disabled living there wouldn't be feasible for so many reasons, because I absolutely cannot stress Isis out (who had to go to the emergency vet again. but she's ok) or introduce my two cats to my mom's three cats, one of whom has FeLV. either way tho it's the disability!!!! I am trapped in my own apartment by my disability lmao my mom's friend wants to put me in his rental house but that's just too much. I can't have this giant upheaval in my life both physically and mentally. but I live and suffer in agonizing guilt every single day of my life because my mom pays for this apartment, which wasn't awful when I stopped working, but they've raised rent from $900ish to $1720 in *three years* it's insanity. I cry about this often because I can't move, my mom keeps telling me we can't, and not to worry about money but she's only saying that because it's impossible to leave I am so beyond stressed. this isn't counting what I went through with two (2) pen tablet companies to try to get a working fucking tablet so I could continue my commission. took 15 days but now I can work on art again. it was a nightmare september and october have been nightmarish months in every possible way actually lol rent wouldn't be *as* terrible if my disability claim got approved, but I would be shocked if not only it finished before early/mid-december, but if I get approved at all. and even if I do, every dollar would be going to rent and it wouldn't even be HALF OF RENT. I hate it here I hate this country I hate how it treats disabled and poor people I hate it hate it hate it hate my life too. I can't help it. I hate all of this and it feels like every time I'm begging the universe for a break it keeps throwing more shit at me instead. idk how to have hope anymore but that's been true for a long time now I suppose I have to be careful about how much/how hard I cry. a good hard cry no longer eases the tension but builds up insane pressure in my skull. I can't even cry for a release anymore like come on. it's a joke guys my life is just a joke now I had realllllllly hoped by the end of this year, after starting to lose weight in january, I would be telling you all that my IIH was cured. I shouldn't have hoped for anything at all p.s. I went back a couple of posts and realized I already talked about my neuro and the meds, sorry for saying the same stuff. I can't remember anything and I don't know what time is anymore

[fakeloveaskblog]

Yay lasertag!!! Janus you should totally go visit Remus on the weekend and hang out! Also, maybe invite Remy too, if they wanna come. Then (specially if they don't show) you can plan with them both to maybe go on another hangout with Remus but to somewhere you like and let Remy tag along for the ride if they wanna while u're at it.

(Words: 3153 words)

Janus: "Ah yes! I will let you know that after hanging out with Remus I managed to use my incredible totally very good texting skills to ask the Rems if they wanted to go to an art museum and they both for some reaosn, maybe they are being blackmailed, said yes! I hope it will go g-"

He cut himself off as he saw the two Rems come towards him. He had been waiting outside the museum. (Honestly half the reason he had choosen it was because he knew Remus liked art)

Remus waved at him while grinning. He had on sweatpants, a way too large t-shirt and a necklace made out of animal bones. Remy had their arm swung around him. Even though they had sunglasses on their eyebags were still visible.

“Aight gamers! Are we ready to do an epic art heist!! I got my sunglasses ready!” Remus exclaimed. He didn’t, he was planning on stealing Remy’s sunglasses.

“Partner you’re forgetting that we must first observe the security measures of the museum before we can even start to plan the heist” Janus replied.

“Oh!!! That’s what we’re doing today isn’t it??”

“Correct partner!”

“Babes I dunno why you gotta steal art when I’m standing right here” Remy added while posing.

“Good point. Good point” 

Janus had on a yellow bowtie he’d gotten from Logan, a loose purple shirt and black dress pants. People had to look fancy when they went to museums right? Remy had a skirt short enough to fool god and their boyfriend’s hoodie on (it looked oversized on them but with how skinny they were Everything looked oversized on them).

As soon as they got in Remus started to bounce up and down as he looked at the posters showing all the different exhibitions. There was a modern art one, classical and one smaller exhibition for specifically mosaic works.

“So whatcha you wanna look at Snakey?” Remus asked.

Janus was caught of guard “Why are you asking me?”

“Well you chose how we would hang out. C’mon you deserve to choose this too”

He looked over to Remy who shrugged “Uhm okay. Well. The classical paintings would proably give us the most money on the black market so lets look at those”

“Yay!” 

Remus quickly took on his noise canceling headphones and a chew necklace before doing thumbs up. He firmly took Janus’ hand in his. He sent him a soft smile which made Jan’s heart spin before dashing of with him into the exhibition.

A few big paintings from the renaissance hung on the wall. Remy came a little later since with the cane they walked pretty slow. Remus eyed the paintings from a distance before squinting at them up close. He flapped the hand he was hoding Janus with around.

"Oh!!! This is so cool!!!! This is from the renaissance but it's not using the chiaro oscuro technique like everyone did 'cause Da Vinci would eat their newborn if they didnt!”

"Is that why it's looking flatter than me?" Remy asked.

“YEah!! Augh I love the renaissance!!! Mostly because they were dissecting bodies so much!! sometimes for the sole purpose of drawing anatomy better!! I wanna do that! Or watch someone do that! Getting to see one of those old classrooms where they dissected corpses would be so awesome!”

“Huh good way to get rid of bodies. Great time for serial killers” Janus commented.

He let out a dreamy sigh “It truly was. They’re doing serial killers dirty nowadays”

They went through some more rooms of renaissance paintings. Janus made sure to hold Remus back a bit so Remy could keep up with them. The duke kept rambling about different shading techniques.

They stepped into another room and the style changed. Remus continued to flap his hand nonetheless. Janus was definitely going to have pain in his wrist tomorrow. It was worth it if he could hold his hand though.

Remy leaned their elbow on top of Janus’ head “This is like the baroque time right?”

“YEah!” Remus’ eyes went huge “Bean you didn’t tell me you were into art history??! Do you know about Ruben too?? I like how he paints butts!”

“What? Nah. I just- I can like see it on the clothes in the paintings. Can’t you?”

“Do I look like a time traveling fashiong guru” Janus replied sarcastically “That is honestly impressive”

Remy sunk in on themself and a hint of red appeared on their cheeks “No. Nah. I’m like a total airhead! Completel idiot! hehe I’m like tots sure everyone knows this stuff. Y’all are just bad at fashion. I uh anyway Rem you were gonna rant?”

“I was?”

“Yeah!”

“Oh....Okay!!” He looked around the room before getting caught on a small painting in the corner. He dashed over to it “HANds!”

The painting depicted 2 bloody hands over a table. They were holding onto each other. the red stuck out against the dark background. It was hard to see if they were supposed to belong to two people who were fighting or in love.

Remus looked down at Janus’ hand while playing with his fingers “I think my favorite body part are hands” He mumbled “I mean they’re horseshit to draw but they can do so much”

Janus looked away from the painting as well. He let his crush do whatever he wanted with his hand as long as he kept holding it. the way he held him so lightly but kept rubbing his thumb up and down his skin made him melt.

“Yeah they can do a lot of fucked up shit” Remy butted in. Jan nearly jumped. He’d completely lost himself in adoring his crush.

“Well hands can also be used to give snakes small berries! And to make coffee!”

“Girl I wasn’t starting an argument. But you sure did won it!”

Remus was staring down into the floor as he said “When I become a cannibal I would wanna try eating human fingers first. I’m sure they would be tasty”

“Why was there a when in there?” Jan asked in a small amount of terror.

“Oh yeah babe totally. I will like actually eat a dick” Remy agreed.

“Why is there a will in there? What kind of time tenses are you people on?? Does english grammar mean nothing to you heathens!?”

Remy got a smug look on their face. They poked their finger right into Janus’ chest “C’mon say what you will eat when you become a cannibal”

“Yeah Snakey” Remus squished his cheeks “Say it! Say it! Say it!”

The two of them kept going on while Janus looked like a sour lemon until he finally caved in.

“Fine. I would either eat the stomach or....the buttocks since they would have the most fat and sustain me the longest”

The Rems looked at each other before bursting out into laughter. “He said butT!” Remus cackled out. The other Rem nodded along and pretended to wipe away a tear from laughter.

“Aight babe let’s put the guy out of his misery” 

They motioned for Remus to go ahead. He happily skipped into the next room and grabbed Jan’s hand to take him with him. The snake couldn’t help but notice how Remy stayed behind for a monent.

“Oh cool!! We’re onto impressionism! The first real art style!” He sighed “From impressionism to cartoon furries. How magical the journey of art is” 

(Jan who had a scaley phase in high school chose to not reply)

“I love the music as well. Crazy lads. My favorite lad?” Remus snickered “De bussy!!”

“That’s my porn name” Remy instantly replied, coming up behind them. “Hey that paint lady kinda like looks like Terra” They pointed at a painting.

“....Hey YEaH! I guess my art is timeless!”

Janus looked between them “who’s Terra?”

“Well girl” Remy playfully ruffled Remus’ hair “She’s just Rem’s tots cool like cartoon character. She’s like all over his sketchbook. Makes it look kinda straight if you ask me but she does have like a very cool design so I get it!”

“Oh......Yes...Sounds very....cool”

The group kept going around looking at art. While it felt like lead was filling Janus’ chest. He’d never heard about Terra. He’d never seen his sketchbook. Meaning they had spent time with each other without him.

He pierced his nails into his palms to stop the thoughts. He refused to be some jealous person who didn’t allow his friends to hang out without him.....Still he wish he could have seen the drawings as well....seen them smile together...heard their shared laughter....

Oh. Oh what if they thought he was annoying. What if they preferred being without him. What if he’d forced them to come here today. What if-

“Hey snakey wanna look at the modern art as well?” Remus interrupted.

“What?” 

Without realizing they’d gone through all of the classic art. Now they were in the last room with not much more than a giant painting the size of one of the walls and a bench.

“That sounds horrid!”

“Yay!”

Remus quickly continued of into the next exhibition. Janus still had the taste of lead filling his throat as he went to follow. Until he realized Remy wasn’t there. He turned around and saw them sitting on the bench in front of the painting. They were leaning their arms on their cane.

“It would probably give us a lot on the black market” Jan said while sitting down beside them.

“Mhm. It’s pretty. I just like wanted to look at it some more” They lied.

“Understandable” 

The painting was pretty much a big flower field with a summer sky shining down on it. Janus noticed how Remy forced deep breathes through their gritted teeth. Their brows were furrowed and their hands kept shaking.

“Are you alright?”

“Of course!” 

“I have some painkillers with me. Would that help agains the pain you’re totally not in?”

They glanced over to him “Girl what you doing walking around with painkillers?”

He looked at them with the most deadpan expression “Remy I’m overweight. You can not phantom how often I get knee pain" He took out a pill and held it out to them "Here"

"There's really like no need! I can like handle it"

Even more deadpan "You shouldn’t have to ‘handle it’. It's 1 painkiller dear. I'm not exactly becoming a saint because of this"

They hesitantly took it "Thanks"

He did fingerguns "No problemo"

They stayed sitting for a bit so the pill could kick in. Jan shuly glanced over to admire them every now and then. Remy kept looking down into the floor while picking at their skin.

“I’m sorry” They said it in a much quieter voice than their usual high pitched one “I tried to do everything right so I wouldn’t ruin everything. I even went to bed early so I wouldn’t get tired....I...I really looked forward to getting to be with you two”

Janus heart beat faster. He pulled himself together to comfort them “You haven’t ruined a thing”

They hid their face in their hands “I’ve been tired and out of it all day. I keep like slowing you down. Don’t think I haven’t like noticed how much you have to hold Rem back from going faster! I’ve just been making this all much worse than it should have been”

“Well you’re here aren’t you? I for one appreciate you simply being here. You don’t have to do anything to make me appreciate you, don’t even have to talk. I hope you know that”

“....really?”

“Oh no darling I totally expect you to win the nobel prize while in a kind of pain I can’t even imagine being in on a daily basis”

Remy chuckled “Thanks”

“There’s really no need for that. I am at any and all times doing the absolute minimum to be counted as a decent human being”

“Sure snakey-babey” They had a soft smile on their face.

They moved to hug him. Their arms wrapped around his back and they muffled their head right between his man titties. Janus sat still for a few seconds, too flustered to think before moving his arms around them as well. A hand on the back of their head, another on their lower back. Their skin felt so cold against his.

Remy closed their eyes and let themself calm down. They could feel Janus’ breathing against their hair.

“I think my fav like human part is the chest” They mumbled out “‘Cause I can hear the heart beat. It reminds me I’m- we’re still like alive”

“Like a bloody biological seashell”

“Exactly” They pressed themself closer. “I like being with you” It was nothing more than a whisper, like it was a secret “When you’re here I feel a bit less like a rotting corpse”

Janus held onto them harder “Well I-I try my best”

“I know babe”

His heart was beating out of his chest. The people around them must think they were a couple. He closed his eyes and focused on Remy’s touch, on Picani’s words from their last session. He managed to push enough of the shame away and focus on the happy butterflies in his stomach instead.

Remy moved away. The moment broke.

“We should probs go find Rem before he starts like eating the art”

“haha yeah” Janus did thumbs up but kept sitting. He’d gone full idiot.

It wasn’t until he saw Remy straining to stand up even with the cane his brain kicked back in.

“Is there some way I could help?”

They didn’t answer. But they did lean their arm around his shoulder to let him carry some of their weight. They slowly but surely made their way to the modern art exhibition.

Remus was sitting crosslegged in front of a weird statue, he was doodling in his sketchbook but shone up into a smile when he saw them.

“There you are! I was starting to think that either the zombie apocalypse had started or you were making out somehwere”

“Oh yeah babe. Full tounge” Remy joked back. Jan let out an inhumane noise.

He closed his sketchbook “I think we’re done here. You’re looking tired beanie. We can come back some other day”

Remy held back the urge to lie that they were fine. Instead they weakly nodded.

The gang left the museum. Right beside it was an ice cream shop. Remus got 3 scoops of a worryingly weird mix of flavors. Janus got 1 scoop of lemon. Remy didn’t feel like eating.

They sat down on a couple of benches right outside. Remy laid down with their head leaned onto Remus’ thigh. He chewed his ice cream while calmly moving his hand up and down their back.

Soon enough they were deep asleep. Janus quickly laid his jacket over their legs. He didn’t want to accidentally see anything under their skirt without their consent.

Remus stared at him like a blood sucking eagle while smiling “Soooo now when beanie is in dream land.......Do” He stopped to giggle “Janny. Janny. Do. Do you like someooooonnneee??”

Janus just blinked at him for half a minute. This was too much. This whole day was too much. He was a wreck. His crush was asking him THis?! While his other crush was laying in his crush’s lap?!?

“Why- Why- What- Who are you working for?! The fucking FBI??? Are they after me?” He desperately tried to joke it away.

“No. No. But seriously JanJan!” He wiggled his shoulders around in a stimmy way “Do you happen to like anyone with a name that starts on R????”

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Janus kept glancing between his two crushes while his blushing could be seen out into space. He wanted to lie but his mouth wouldn’t move.

Remus leaned closer and whispered “You’re into Remy right?”

He nodded. A breathe of relief went through him. At least Remus didn’t know he liked him.

“OH I KNEW IT!” Remus yelled out in excitement while flapping his hands.

“Shh! Shh!” Janus scrambled to cover his mouth as Remy stirred for a moment. “Shhhh!” They cuddled closer to their friend and fell back asleep.

“I knew it!” He giggled “Or I mean Remy knew. They told me they thought you were into them”

“WHAT?!” 

Now it was Remus that covered his mouth. He was full on cackling “Yeah! They said it was really obvious! But good for you snakey! I’m sure if you murder their boyfriend you can get them in no time! Or you can become a fab homewrecker!! I can help you buy a nice sexy dress and all!!”

Janus paled in terror “How- In- What- In what way did they say it was obvious?”

“Oh y’know-”

The notif on his phone went off. He checked and his eyes went wide. He carefully moved Remy’s head onto the bench before standing up.

“Sorry snakey! Ro needs super duper emergency help! Gotta go!! See you later! Don’t die!”

Remus left him just like that.  Right after dropping THAT bomb on him. Janus sat unmoving. His mouth was slightly agape in shock. His thoughts were runnig around screaming nonstop.

He sat like that for over 20 minutes until Remy let out a yawn and slowly woke up. They took off their sunglasses to rub their eyes. Just seeing their vibrantly green eyes made Janus panic even more.

“Did Rem disintegrate?” Their voice was hoarse from sleepyness. Janus pinched himself to hold back the uhm feelings.

“He- he uh he went he went he sure did went yeah”

“....Cool!”

They stretched their joints, they all cracked. They looked to Janus and moved closer. He couldn’t breathe. They knew. They knew. They knew.

“Girl are you feeling okay?” They pressed their palm to his forehead “You’re like super hot. In both ways! Maybe you should like go home and rest. I gotta get home before my boyf gets home anyway”

“Y-yeah” Was all Janus could get out.

“Cool. OH! By the way! Girl!!! We haven’t like hung out just the two of us right?? We should tots do that! Just like tell me whatever you wanna do and we can do it!”

“Yeah”

“Awesome! Well I’ll see you on that hang out then”

They hugged him for just a few seconds but for those seconds Janus felt like he was in heaven.

They got up and left. Janus slumped over on the bench. His heart was going crazy. They knew. They knew and now they wanted to hang out alone with him. He turned to you. His eyes were wide and panicked.

Janus: “W-what am I supposed to do? I don’t know any good hang out plans! Do you know any??? I’m- this is all- how did they even know I like them! Oh I’m sounding like an overdramatic 13 year old.....This totally isn’t really overwhelming. I would hate getting Logan cuddles right now!”