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hallothere · 3 years ago

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Halros & the Fate of Brockenborings

Halros had never known horror like this.

The Bounders had been on their way to being ready, before. All things considered they were doing well for themselves. The land he had grown to love became evermore vigilant against the growing darkness. Halros had thought them alert if not experienced. Prepared, if yet untested.

Trouble had closed in around them. There was gossip of strange happenings in the north. Suspicious characters in Oatbarton, odd sounds on Northcotton farm. Men had been seen on the road to Stock, headed for Hobbiton. Traders, the rumors said, welcome merchants in an unwelcoming time. But there was a town near the Greenfields to protect. Halros could not venture too far south with goblins and Bree-land brigands growing braver by the day.

Bounder Primstone offered him a room on rainy nights. The Watch Office in Brockenborings was ‘more waterproof than a few branches’ as his friend had said. Such hospitality warmed his heart. And on a stormy night that would send even wargs to their dens Halros was happy to accept.

The invasion had caught everyone unawares. He and Primstone had been trapped like rats as the town had been overtaken. Brigands had flooded the place before most of them knew what was happening. Halros had helped board broken windows in the Watch Office as mothers and children huddled inside. He’d helped them escape out the back when they were finally cornered. Primstone had yelled for him to run when the brigands broke through the front door. But he could not abandon his host so easily. They had more to their friendship than the adventure with Bullroarer’s Club and Halros would fight for it.

He would surrender for it as well. The fight had ended when he saw the dagger raised to Primstone’s neck.

That had been… some time ago. It had been long since he’d seen his Bounder friend or any of his kin. He could not hope for help from Evendim. If they even knew of what was going on south of Annuminas, they were beset by other worries. Angmar was no longer a power in this conflict, as he had heard from the last messenger the Shire had seen alive. Still, smaller lieutenants and bands of orcs with a taste for vengeance plagued the roads to the north. What rumors that did manage to reach this far south were dark and full of dread things.

The Watch Office in Brockenborings had become his cage. Three walls of wood and one of iron fenced him in. When they did not drag him to the quarry in Scary, he was left to rot in the only cell he’d ever seen in the Shire. It had been dusty from disuse but otherwise well-kept. Reinforced and maintained, it seemed, in wait for the day he’d been locked inside.

He could not look to the East for help either. Bree had almost certainly been overrun. What news he had managed to hear had been grim. The same evil names were always mentioned. Brigands and orcs were in league with each other under the guidance of someone far more dangerous. Bill Ferny had marked him for retribution all those weeks ago, promised to report him to the master who now ran the Shire from the shadows. Whoever this Sharkey was, he knew how to gather the very worst sort of allies.

Halros had seen evil Men. The corrupt authority was merciless to the soft and the weak. There was no grace in subjugation. Hobbits of all ages worked their fingers to the bone. The once-jolly folk he had considered his neighbors had quickly gone from fat and hardy to hungry and weary. Still, the stout folk had borne it all with a resilience Halros could only marvel at. Mithrandir had said something once about hobbits being full of surprises. One of the more inspiring tales had been of a group of rebels in the hills, ones that were rumored to have fought in Stock and beyond. These had been captured and their leader whisked away. Halros tried to take comfort in the fact that he’d had allies in this fight, if only briefly.

Despite their adjustment to hard labor, Halros fought for them how he could. They were a strong people no doubt, but a gentler one than his own. The Shirefolk had not known cruelty of this scale. They did not know oppression. Halros would spare them this, if he could. He drew their captors’ ire well, jeering at a guard before a stumbling hobbit could be struck. Blame was shouldered and fights were picked before any hobbit under his protection could be threatened.

Halros had devoted his life to protecting the Shire. The charge that had been laid upon him had not yet been lifted. Sometimes the memory of his chieftain's errand was the only thing keeping him upright.

He had carried stone on a bleeding back and swung a pick with trembling arms. It was easy to goad the power hungry. It would likely as anything get him killed, so he was told. He was the only Man among the captives in Brockenborings. That gave him a unique advantage in his duty: he stood out like a sore thumb among the hobbits. It was no challenge to paint a target on his back. Brigands and orcs alike had reason to hate the Rangers. All he had to do was sling some mud and survive what came after.

On most days they let him out he was tasked with pushing the quarry cart. Tweens would pile rocks until the thing overflowed, and Halros would shove it to and fro. It took two grown hobbits to handle, and the overseers liked to see fewer pairs of hands on a single job. Sometimes he would let an exhausted worker hitch a ride, and sometimes he served as a carriage service for workers going to and from their shifts. He was only one Man, but he would do this as long as he could.

Whatever burden he could carry, whatever task he could share… As long as he could protect them, he could hope.

Halros had one main adversary in this fight. Cliff Redbark was the Scary overseer now that the other thugs had been given positions of authority elsewhere. He was predictable in his contempt for the peaceable Shirefolk, but quick to redirect his attention to the Ranger. If nothing else, Redbark could be relied upon to lash out at the most glaring opposition to his authority. There was no hesitation in teaching a lesson. But at least retribution didn’t linger.

Petunia Bracegirdle was trying to keep the fallen Ranger from diving right back into an altercation with the unimaginative overseer. “Oh please, Mister Halros,” she murmured close to his ear as he pushed himself off the floor, “We can’t bear to see you killed over this. What’ll we do without you?”

Halros knew they’d do well enough without him, but it was an effective argument. The Hobbits of Scary had gone and done just as Mithrandir said they would. As soon as they’d cottoned onto the fact that he was trying to shield them from trouble, they became a unified force dedicated to keeping him alive in turn. He never went hungry outside his cell, as much as he tried to divert the shared food. His wounds never lacked dressing, and he had never awoken from a faint without a caretaker already at hand.

He had never been more determined to fight for them, tooth and nail.

What was another blow to his pride? Redbark saw the fight in him withdraw- for now- and decided to let it lie. They would be graciously allowed back to work without further incident. Halros had taken on the punishment meant for Rollo Burrows. He would not see a stumbling, exhausted older hobbit beaten. He’d challenged Redbark before the overseer could approach and menace poor Rollo. The blow had been swift, and Halros had not been in top shape for some time. But take it he did. And he would take it again.

Petunia hovered by his side a moment as he got back up, then stayed around to monitor the loading of the cart for the return to the surface. She would stick close for the time being. It was the way of these work crews, their way of thanking him he supposed. Not as if he needed the thanks. Rangers were used to doing thankless jobs, protecting the free peoples and doing what was right as long as they were able.

Diminished though his assignment was, the Hobbits of Scary were his to protect. Halros held onto a last shred of hope in his duty.

There were no tweens to ferry back this go around. Halros and his shadow saw the cart to the mouth of the cave, where another team of hobbits got it unloaded. Wilcome Tunnelly had once again become quarry supervisor. He directed less experienced hobbits in their tasks. Scary and Brockenborings alike had been conscripted to various duties, and those with prior experience had either been singled out or volunteered. In Wilcome Tunnelly’s case, he had stepped forward in an attempt to run the quarry as safely as he could. At the very least he was able to convince the overseer before Redbark that his way would reduce injury and keep the quarry at maximum capacity.

“Wait here a moment.” Wilcome directed him, his gloved hands dripping dust, “We’ve got tools to send back down and it’s more efficient to do it in one trip.”

It would give him a moment’s rest. Halros leaned back against the stationary cart and closed his eyes. The day was cheerier than any of them felt. The oblivious sun shone brightly over a land steeped in misery. Perhaps they were all lucky the day was not so hot. There was precious little shade in the main bowl of the quarry. What trees that had once circled the outside had been cut. There was no shade in sight save for in the overseer’s hut.

He’d long since lost his cloak for want of clean bandages. Now he was dressed like most of the others: in whatever he could work in, patched as best as he was able. He thought back to his kin, recalling the pride in the Rangers’ stitchwork. Another, more recent memory bubbled up. A hobbit lass had threatened to sew him a new shirt and burn his old one if she could only guess his size. If he had looked a sight before, he could only assume everyone was too polite to comment on his appearance now.

“I don’t know how!” Petunia’s harsh whisper brought him back from a daze he hadn’t realized he’d entered. She sounded distressed, and Halros wondered what had befallen the quarry hobbits since he’d last seen daylight.

“It’s all we can do to protect him.” Wilcome had returned. “Goodness knows what’ll happen if we can’t keep this up.”

Something had happened while he was gone, Halros was sure of it. He could practically see Petunia’s huff when she responded. “He’s like one of the tweens. Redbark knows we daren’t step out of line when he’s on the crew! But Rollo was so exhausted. You should’ve seen Redbark’ face after he struck him. Looked right at Rollo as if he didn’t feel guilty enough-“

Halros frowned in confusion. Rollo Burrows was a regular on this crew. He’d been in hot water a few minutes ago, but had he been in trouble before? And Rollo wasn’t a young hobbit by any stretch. Why did they consider him like a tween?

His thoughts were muddled, but Wilcome’s response struck him like an orc arrow. “We’ll think of something, Tuney. There’s got to be a way to protect poor old Halros better than this.”

His thrumming mind ground to a halt. But Wilcome and Petunia were on the move. There was no time to weigh the words and their implications now that the tools had arrived. He let Petunia do the talking and took his place behind the cart in silence. Halros felt numb in a way he hadn’t before. He had been under the impression his service to the work crew was a boon, a chance to shield them.

But the overseer didn’t see it that way. Halros had been summoned from the Watch Office at random, sometimes days or weeks apart. He hadn’t known the first overseer, but Redbark had brought the Ranger forth soon after taking command. Halros began his first day in the quarry by standing between an overzealous guard and… and… Tess Bolger? Tim Burrows? He remembered a tween crying out. He did not remember thinking anything, only diving into the middle of it and making the brigand angry enough to forget the original incident.

Halros was dumbfounded. He couldn’t listen as Petunia guided him back through the cave. The hobbits were his charge, they were his duty to watch over. It nearly made him sick right there in the tunnel. The people he was fighting to protect were being threatened with his life. The hobbits he thought he was aiding by taking on their captors were being coerced with a different kind of punishment. The Overseer knew he would throw himself into harm's way for them.

Perhaps he hadn’t realized the true shrewdness of Cliff Redbark. He wasn’t an extra laborer. All this time, he’d been an incentive. Why beat several workers and lower productivity when just one would volunteer?

Despair struck him between the shoulder blades. He was supposed to be their last line of defense! What was he now, other than one more tool for the enemy? His legs failed just like the rest of him. Halros slid to his knees, unhearing, as Petunia called back in alarm. Unable to face her, he turned away. He felt like weeping! Aragorn and Mithrandir had gone too far to help him. The Grey Company had taken their bravest heroes, those willing and worthy to follow Halbarad. What would they say to this? They would die in service to their King, and he would die a pawn of the enemy-- hurting his beloved Shirefolk as much in death as he had in life.

Petunia was shaking him now. “You must get up! Please… Let me help you to your feet before they see you!” Had they been forced to shield him before? He was a far better fool than a tween or a faunt, than those weak or old who would learn from threats and fall in line. No, he was a pig-headed Ranger too proud not to play right into Redbark’s schemes. What an act of intimidation to see the one who should watch over them brought low.

He tried to hide his face once more. The shame and dread were heavier than any stone. In a way he had built his own prison. And now he found he could not stand to look upon the very outcome he’d fought so hard against.

Despite her pleas, Halros could not do as Petunia wished. When they were found, when a guard hauled him up by the collar and began shouting threats he did the only thing he knew to do. He fought. He swung and clawed like he always did with no sense of self-preservation. Another guard joined the fray and he didn’t stop. It was selfish. It was cowardly. Through the pain Halros wondered if he’d ever been anything else.

Someone finally hit him over the head. For just a little while, he did not have to live with himself.

There was no light in the Watch Office at night.

The windows remained boarded and the office portion of the building stood empty as Halros languished in the cell. He had awoken alone and sobbed as he had not done in years. Help was not coming for them as he had hoped. His limbs were stiff and burning. His right arm throbbed more persistently than the rest and he feared it had been broken. But worst of all, he’d been left alone with his thoughts.

What use was a shield that had been broken? What good could a sword do once turned against those it had once protected? He laid on the floor in silence. At least he could not hurt them if he was locked away. In the dark of night, Halros did not know if he could sleep. There seemed to be no end to this moment of weakness. No sun peeking through the clouds, no proverbial light of day. All he had around him were the proofs of his failure.

That night he worried more than he ever had for Bounder Primstone. He had thought his little friend peculiar for taking things into his own hands, for standing bold but untrained against wolves and goblins and brigands. Foolish but brave. But it was as Mithrandir had said. Hobbits were stronger than they looked. All of his attempts to fight for them came to naught, for they had done just as well fighting for themselves. Better, perhaps, if there were other groups of rebels out and about.

But all this time he had fought for a failing hope, not daring to think what would happen if he stopped. Now it had happened. Now he could not hold out as he had done before. Knowing how he had been used was the killing blow to his hope. He had lost the fight long ago without ever knowing it.

Sleep fled from him as well. At some point the sun decided once again to rise. Halros did not know what to do with this new day and remained where he was. He waited. It could be anywhere from days to weeks before he would be brought back to the quarry, and now he knew why. He wouldn’t be filling in for an injured hobbit as he had assumed. While he did not know how he would face the hobbits of the quarry, the more pressing revelation would be the broken arm. Even if he was a prop he had been a useful one. Could he stand to do less than nothing now?

No one came with food or orders. He had thought he'd heard a horse and cart on the road, but nothing had come of it. Late in the morning he had gotten up and found a more comfortable arrangement for his arm. He had no blanket to fashion into a sling, but a sleeve would work just as well for the time being. Autumn must be approaching though it was a problem for another day.

The young Ranger faced a different kind of chill as the day stretched into night once more. The pain in his heart was growing distant while the hurts in his body remained. At some point he must have slept, for he awoke in a less comfortable position on the floor. There was no bread and water shoved through the bars.

For the first time since seeing the knife at Primstone’s throat, Halros knew he was afraid.

He held his arm still and kept his eyes fixed on the door. The pain was less if he didn’t move, if he tried not to think about it. His other hurts had long since made themselves known. There was not much to do about any of them. Morning came again but no one had appeared. Fear had a firm hold on him now. They were leaving him again. He was to be abandoned to a burden he couldn’t bear, doomed to failure against an enemy too large for him to fight--

Halros had never known horror like this.

Weak and weary, his trepidation only grew as the sun went down. The orange of the sunset would soon be lost to the hill behind him, and the slits in the boarded windows never let in the moon. Darkness was coming for him, as it had already come for his kin. Halros closed his eyes and tried to breathe. He didn’t want it to end like this. He did not want to die alone.

There was a single, clear shout outside. His eyes flew open as others followed. The orange sunset had been replaced by the yellow of flickering flame, of torches. Someone was coming. If he was to die, at least he would not perish in the dark.

A clang, and the room echoed with the sound of lock tumblers turning. The door thudded open. Before him appeared two hobbits, one holding a torch and the other carrying several loose keys. Their eyes were as wide as his, surveying him as he surveyed them. His gaze caught on one of them, on the White Tree shining proudly on his chest.

Had he any tears left, Halros would have cried.

“There you are!” The torch-bearer and older of the two hurried in, letting the light flow into the cell. “You must be Halros. We have looked high and low for you.”

He was struck dumb, forced to simply watch as the younger hobbit- the one wearing the symbol of Gondor- began trying keys in the lock. “We’ll have you out in just a moment! They’re all terribly worried for you. But don’t worry. Frodo and I are here now.” The one that wasn’t Frodo tossed aside the key he’d been trying. “I beg your pardon! What I mean to say is I’m Peregrin Took, and this is Frodo Baggins, and we have come to rescue you.”

Halros continued to stare as a frown grew on Frodo Baggins’ face. The older hobbit held the torch further aloft with a look of concern. “We are glad to have found you.” He glanced at Peregrin and then back to the Ranger. “It may take him a moment. Do you think you can have some water?”

Not knowing what else to do, Halros nodded. With a grimace, he eased himself closer to the bars. Frodo produced a waterskin and offered it out. It was then he noticed the hobbit was missing a finger, which was unusual. He would not say anything even if he was able to. With a trembling hand he reached out for the water.

Peregrin threw away another key while he drank. The young hobbit gave him a tight smile. He seemed older than his years, and it occurred to Halros that if he had been all the way to Gondor, it only stood to reason.

“If these had all been on a keyring it would’ve been easier!” Peregrin chuckled mirthlessly. He tossed aside another key. “I fear I shall have to break this lock. But break it I will if I must!” he added hastily. Frodo accepted the water skin when Halros was done, but instead of straightening up he took the Ranger’s hand and held it. These were hobbits touched by hardship and sadness, he could see it in their eyes.

But these were hobbits who had come to save him.

Heart pounding, Halros finally worked up the strength to speak. “The others… the ones in the quarry and the camp, are they-”

Frodo nodded quickly. He looked tired. “They are all safe. When the brigands fled, they left most everyone unharmed.”

Peregrin had gone through all the keys and was now taking the tip of his dagger to the lock. “I’m not half as good at this as Nita.” he murmured before catching himself. “But I’m plenty good, and they haven’t replaced our old Shire lock. Your Bounder Primstone never had to hold anyone here I suspect.”

“Primstone?” Halros alarmed Frodo by trying to stand suddenly. “He is my friend. Have you seen him?” He was unsteady, but bolstered by a hand at his elbow reaching through the bars to support him.

It was Frodo who answered him. “Yes, we found him at the same time as another friend of ours. He is doing as well as any of us.” That was a sentiment for the times. Halros gave the hobbit a fright when his knees threatened to buckle. Leaning up against the bars, he felt the lock finally disengage.

Peregrin bolted into the cell. He took over holding the Ranger’s good arm from Frodo and was surprisingly strong for his size. Standing, Halros could see that Peregrin might be the tallest hobbit he had ever seen, now that he thought about it.

“Come outside if you can. Slowly now, Frodo may have a hard time catching you holding the torch as he is.” Halros did his best to keep his feet. “They’ve set up an infirmary next door. We have a whole horde of hobbits asking after you, Primstone included! A good many of us came into town for you and the others, driving the last of the brigands out as we went.” His voice became very solemn. “The night is over, and they won’t be troubling you again.”

Night had, in fact, just fallen, but Halros only grew lighter. He stumbled alongside Peregrin until they reached the next smial. Halros barely had time to wonder why only two had been sent for him when they were suddenly swarmed by hobbits. Frodo and Peregrin ordered them back with the help of two others Halros didn’t recognize. They managed to clear a path to an empty bedroll that the Ranger sank gratefully onto.

He didn’t have time to fully lie down before a body shot from the crowd and latched onto him. Another worn and weary hobbit held him tightly, and he was overwhelmed by an emotion far stronger than pain.

“Oh Halros, my friend! You don’t know how glad I am to see you! Are you well? They kept me prisoner in Michel Delving with the rebels, but we’ve been trying to escape. My poor friend! I’ve been so worried for you, all the way out here without me to watch over you--”

If anyone else stayed he did not know it. Halros ignored his other hurts and wept into Primstone’s shoulder. It only reignited the Bounder’s worry but he could not stop. Relief swept over him so completely that he was incapable of feeling or doing anything else then. It was truly over. Despite everything, help had come and it had triumphed over the shadow that had held them captive for so long.

“You’re going to be fine now, you take my word for it.” Primstone’s voice quavered just above his head. “I’ve told the others to stay back until you’re well again. I’m staying right here though! Unless you don’t want me to. Then of course, I can wait somewhere else-”

Halros shook his head and managed a shuddering laugh. “You do not know how glad I am to see you. I thought you lost… I thought the Shire lost, that no help was coming.”

Another hand came to rest on his shoulder. It belonged to Peregrin, who spoke to him gently. “Many of us thought as you did, Ranger Halros. But the worst is over. Help has come.” It looked as if he was in another place, his words meant for another time. But they were true and Halros was grateful. “You’ll have plenty of time to rest now. We’re hoping to get word to your kin in the north any time now. Dear Nita said she knew some good folks up there who would come to help.”

Halros’ brow furrowed slightly. “Nita? You mentioned her before but I do recall knowing a hobbit lass… Her name was something like that… She is a burglar of some renown now?”

Peregrin stifled a laugh. “Something like that, though she would blush to hear you say so. Nita’s a good sort, and been through as much as we have. She’ll be glad to hear you’re well when she returns.”

Bounder Primstone chose this moment to notice the sling and exclaim in horror. “Dear me! Why didn’t you say you were hurt? We’ve brought a healer from Michel Delving and she’ll need to see you straight away. Now don’t fuss with me, my friend, I’m staying put. You’ve got someone to take care of you now.”

Halros’ face became pinched again after Primstone had turned, and Peregrin saw. The young hobbit with Gondor’s colors paused a long moment before speaking again. “I do not know you, not really, and I suppose you don’t know me either. But I’ve heard a thing or two. All the folks in the quarry were talking. They said you’d tried to cover their escape at the start, that you never let the guards lay a finger on them even after you were black and blue…”

The Ranger’s head still hung in shame. Peregrin didn’t know. He hadn’t been there, or seen what had really gone on.

“They said you never gave up, even when some of the rest of them had. That you never stopped fighting on their behalf. Every hobbit that could walk was nagging at our heels to come break you out.”

Finally, Halros had to look up. “I did not do enough. They used me… I couldn’t protect anyone.”

Peregrin’s face softened. “You gave them some hope, even if you did not have any yourself.”

Before the Ranger could really go to pieces, Primstone returned. The Bounder looked stricken, and was quick to herd the healer closer to the bedroll. “You see! He’s getting worse every minute. Oh, I never should have left! What’s this Took been saying to you, Halros? Well, I’m sticking around for good. Unless of course, you need something to eat! In which case, I’ll hop right to it and make sure you get something real hearty and wholesome. And over dinner I can tell you just what’s been cooking elsewhere! Ha! Cooking, you see, while we eat? Some more hobbit humor for you, my dear friend-...”

The shadow had not yet fully retreated from the Shire, but the light had returned. Healing would come. It wasn’t there yet, but for the first time in a long time they had some goodness to cling to. As the healer began to look him over, Halros cast his eyes around the room. It was full of smiles, full of tears. All around him were hobbits who had not come through unscathed, but had come through nonetheless. They had not always triumphed. They had simply never given in. Now they had a reason to carry on in spite of it all.

Halros had never known hope like this. And this was a hope he could live for.

#*screams*#ok so i've come to grips with it if it's not good but my big fear is lack of knowledge in Real Canon #i did a lot of googling!!! i tried very hard #screw it if it's garbage-- it's MY garbage!#but woe be to me if i like hecked some major plot point from books #priorities #anyway #speculative lotro fic

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izlaria · 4 years ago

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Someone you like (part 3)

This is the third chapter of my “Someone you like” inspired fic. It’s also available on AO3 in case you prefer that platform. Please hit me up to talk about Plance!

Summary: Lance finds a better friend in Pidge than he could have antecipated.

Also, Pidge pining hour.

17 and 15 years old

“I can’t believe we have a cow.” Lance stared in awe at the animal. It looked completely out-of-place in the middle of the highly technological castle-ship. “Where did that dude even get her from?” he exclaimed, waving an arm at it. Lance gasped, lowering his voice to a whisper, “Do you think she’s… a clone?”

Kaltenecker kept on chewing, indifferent to Lance’s fussy behavior.

“Most likely,” Pidge responded. She was looking down at a tablet that contained results from the scan they’d conducted on Kaltenecker. “She is carbon-based, which isn’t such a rarity out here, but is always good to know. The anatomy also checks out with normal cow biology. The only change I could find is that her diet is more adapted to what’s available in this quadrant.”

Lance scratched the top of his head. “Does that mean she can’t eat Earth food?”

“She probably can…” Pidge tapped the edge of the tablet in a considering manner. “We eat alien food and nothing has happened yet.”

“So we’re winging it? That doesn’t sound very scientific.” He didn’t like the idea of putting their cow in danger. “Can’t you figure something out for her to eat?”

“I’m not a biochemist, Lance.” Pidge took her eyes off Kaltenecker to glare at him. “Nor a geneticist. That’s more Coran’s area of expertise.”

“Easy!” Lance held up his hands. “We can talk to him, then. I was just asking a question…”

Pidge huffed out a breath, then let her shoulders drop. “I don’t know how you’re not annoyed right now. We spent the entire afternoon in a fountain to get a freaking video game, only to realize we have no way to turn it on!”

“I actually had fun.” Lance shrugged. He didn’t really see what bothered her so much. Sure, he wanted to play Killbot Phantasm, but even the fact that they’d found the game out in the universe was enough for him. “It felt like the sort of crazy I used to get to back home.”

She fidgeted with the tablet in her hands. “Going to the mall and causing a scene?”

Lance eyed Pidge curiously. Her brow was furrowed, but she looked more lost than irritated. “Sure,” he acquiesced. “This was hardly my first time fishing out coins from a fountain.”

“It was for me,” Pidge interrupted brusquely. “I had never done that before.”

He cocked an eyebrow at her. “Really? You’re one of the biggest troublemakers I’ve met. I’m pretty sure you’re at least guilty of fraud after lying about your identity to get into the Garrison.”

For some reason, this seemed to startle her. It was almost ludicrous to think that Pidge had gone undercover without realizing the legal implications of her actions. It would be just like her, too, to get so caught up in the big picture that she simply bulldozed through every other detail.

“That was different, though.” She was pouting now, her cheeks comedically puffed out. “I was more of a homebody when younger.” Her gaze was lowered to her hands, distant. “I don’t have as many stories to tell as you and Hunk.”

“I seriously doubt that.” Lance scoffed. “Aren’t you always talking about the crazy experiments you and Matt did? I bet he will have a bunch of embarrassing shit about you that you never tell us. I can’t wait to get my hands on all that sweet, sweet blackmail!”

Lance wrung his hands menacingly, but when he looked down at Pidge the expression on her face caught him off guard. He expected her to be exasperated or at least displeased, so the tenderness in her eyes was unforeseen.

He’d been talking about her brother as if they would meet soon, Lance realized. Pidge mentioned him often, but not in detail, not in any capacity that didn’t serve to remind everyone of her mission to find her family. He guessed it felt too much like an open wound, like when Lance tried to talk about Marco or Rachel.

But maybe it did them some good, too.

“Besides, even if we never get to play Killbot Phantasm, we still did plenty today.” Lance began to count on his hand. “We stole money from a fountain so we could buy a vintage video game. We got a cow from a space mall. We were chased by an alien security guard who thought we were pirates! I couldn’t make this up if I tried!”

When he laughed, Pidge joined in. She tried to suppress it, but the air escaped through her nose and her lips quirked up in undeniable amusement. It always felt like a victory to make her laugh. Pidge didn’t let herself get distracted often.

“I don’t know,” she quipped, looking more relaxed. “You have the most convoluted stories of anyone I know.”

Although Pidge said it as if it was a bad thing, Lance could see the playfulness in the twist of her mouth. This was nice, too, because a year earlier he would have seen only the harshness in his teammate. On an impulse, he leaned down to hug her.

“W – What?!” Pidge thrashed against his arms. “Lance, let me go!”

“No can do, Pidgey.” He held on. Lance had crossed his arms behind her head, keeping her tight against his chest. “You can’t escape this friendship.”

“Yes, I can, you nitwit!” Pidge’s voice was muffled by his shirt and Lance simply pretended not to hear her. “You’re suffocating me!”

“We have Kaltenecker now, we’re her parents!” he stated happily, despite the sting of Pidge pinching his sides. “Stop, you don’t want her to see us fighting.”

Pidge let her arms fall, looking up at Lance. Her face was red and her hair stuck out from where he’d accidentally run his hands through it. “You’re ridiculous.”

There was a well-placed moo from Kaltenecker, as if the cow agreed.

Lance grinned and finally gave up his grip on her, taking a step back. Pidge immediately punched him in the stomach in retaliation.

“Ow!” he complained, though it was clear she hadn’t put any real force behind it. “We were having a moment!”

Pidge turned up her nose, but her complexion only grew more flustered. “Then you can forget all about it, like you did with Keith.”

“Fine, you win.” Lance crossed his arms, looking smugly down at her. “I did make you blush, though. I might be rusty, but old Lance still has an effect on the ladies!”

“Ugh!” Pidge moved so quickly that Lance had to hide behind Kaltenecker in order to evade her hits. When they stopped running, she kept her tablet at hand, brandishing it as if it was her bayard. “Never say that to me again!”

He stuck his tongue out at her, then had to duck when Pidge aimed the tablet at his head once more. “Jeez, you know I’m kidding!”

“Yeah.” Something in her voice made Lance shoot back up. She was staring right at him, looking more serious than he’d expected. “I know.”

Before he could ask what was wrong, Pidge walked away from where he stood and towards a panel in the back of the room. She deposited her tablet on one side, then started clicking away at a few keys.

“Coran mentioned we could reprogram the room to look like a field on Earth,” she explained once Lance had made his way over. “We could maybe get some vegetation from a planet in this quadrant and create an area for her to graze.”

“Yeah, that would be cool.” He felt almost dizzy from the ups and downs of Pidge’s humor. The coldness that surrounded her now made Lance want to apologize, but it also annoyed him. He thought they were having a good time earlier. “Introducing Kaltenecker to Earth food isn’t really the priority, huh?”

Pidge nodded, avoiding his eyes.

Despite the awkwardness, Lance didn’t want to leave. The idea of letting Pidge stay mad at him left a bitter taste in his mouth, especially after the day they’d had. She could be incessantly frustrating, but she had also grown on him.

Like a weed. A short, bad-tempered weed.

He watched in silence as she worked the panel. Her concentration was admirable, even when she used it as a way to push Lance away. It reminded him of their time in the Garrison, when it felt like every step he took in their friendship was met with two steps back from Pidge.

With the privilege of hindsight, Lance could guess how tiring the disguise must have been for her. Their studies had never been easy and Pidge had perfected her mediocrity like an art. Knowing her true genius now, Lance imagined she’d actually known it all but had chosen to keep herself under the radar.

“Are you just going to stand there?” Her tone struck a chord with him, bringing forth a familiarity that he hadn’t felt since Earth.

Lance put his hands on his hips, raising an eyebrow at her. “I’m just waiting for you, Pidgeon.”

She turned back to the panel, then took a deep breath, as if calming herself.

“I have a lot to do here,” she said in warning. After a moment, her expression softened. “Why don’t you take the game up to your room? I’ll grab Hunk on my way there and we can try to adapt everything to the castle’s power source.”

Lance could recognize her words for the peace offering that they were. He aimed finger guns at her, earning himself a snicker.

“Don’t take too long or I’ll fall asleep!” he called out as he walked backwards, towards the exit.

“I’ll get Kaltenecker to lick your hair, if you do!” she replied, attention already back to the control panel.

Lance laughed, but he knew that was no empty threat.

He didn’t often spend his nights roaming the hallways of the castle. Lance was a big believer on the benefits of good sleep and an established routine. It helped him maintain his complexion blemish-free and it contributed to keeping him sane when his mind felt scrambled beyond repair.

There were times, however, when not even spa days and special hair masks could calm his thoughts, and then he was stuck like this, struggling to fall asleep.

He buried deeper into his jacket. It wasn’t his normal one, but a big, fleece-y thing that Hunk and Pidge had gotten for him in their last trip to the space mall. Lance loved it fiercely. The castle cooled during the night-cycle to ensure the machines didn’t overheat and Lance always suffered for it.

A blinking light on the doors to his right caught Lance’s attention. It signaled movement in the hangar, just one of many fail-safes devised by Coran and Pidge to ensure no one was trying to mess with the lions. The light wasn’t all that worrying on its own; it was just a way to know what rooms were currently in use.

Lance was too tired to think through his actions. He moved into the hangar, not even questioning who might be in there. He wanted to see Blue. Or Red. Or anyone, really.

He rubbed at his eyes, collecting the tears that threatened to spill down his cheeks.

Sure enough, there was Pidge, curled around a set of tools and a big, wiry mess of parts. She had probably been propped up against the processing columns but ended up sliding down in her sleep.

The image filled Lance with so much affection that he found himself smiling. It was unusual to see their youngest member without her defenses put up. She was only second to Keith in her reserve, something that had initially displeased Lance about the two.

Pidge did have the habit of falling asleep while she worked, but Shiro and Hunk were the ones charged with checking on her. Lance thought she looked strangely cute like this, with her mouth a little open and her glasses askew. He’d forgotten how young she truly was, because of how smart and assertive Pidge could be. She didn’t want to be treated like a child and the whole team could respect her strength and maturity.

Even before they’d ended up light-years from Earth, Pidge had already carried more on her shoulders than anyone Lance had ever met. Despite knowing it was a vain hope, Lance wished he hadn’t made things harder for her back in the Garrison.

He crouched down and carefully pulled her glasses free. Strands of hair stuck to her cheeks and forehead, but without the too-big frames Lance could see her face more clearly.

Pidge already looked older than she had when they were students. After so many wormhole jumps, it was difficult to determine how long had passed since their discovery of the Blue Lion, but the passage of time made itself known in other ways.

She was pretty, but that didn’t surprise Lance. Pidge’s no-nonsense ways and sharp eyes had always been striking, even when he only pointed out these aspects of her as a joke.

Lance took off his jacket and balled it up, trying to slip it behind her head. It wouldn’t be comfortable, but it was an improvement to her current position.

“Lance?” Her eyes had fluttered open. From this close, he could see the fatigue that clouded them.

“Hey, Pidgey-Pidge,” he called out in a whisper.

“Hey, loverboy.” She giggled, lids opening and closing tiredly.

The nickname shot another wave of emotion through him. For some reason, Lance felt his eyes burn again.

“We should get you to bed,” he tried to say, though his voice sounded rougher than he intended.

Pidge didn’t immediately notice. She nodded a few times and sat up, stretching her arms over her head. She frowned at the pieces of tech still scattered around them, then focused her eyes back on him.

“Lance,” she sounded much more awake now, “why are you here?”

“Oh, you know,” he stalled. “Sometimes, in the middle of the night, a guy just needs to grab some food goo.” He flexed his now exposed arms. “I’m a growing boy, Pidge.”

Pidge raised a brow, looking supremely unimpressed. “Don’t lie to me.”

Lance winced a little at the terse tone she’d adopted. Even in her half-awake state, Pidge was still able to see through his bullshit.

“The kitchen is nowhere near the hangar,” she continued when he didn’t reply. Her voice was soft in a way Lance had never heard from Pidge. “And your eyes look red.”

He shifted his head to the side to escape her scrutiny. Lance half-expected Pidge to get angry at his stubbornness, so he couldn’t help the small, shocked sob that escaped him when her hand touched his chin, slowly lifting his gaze.

The worry in her face quickly changed into something understanding, an almost desperate ache that must have reflected his own expression. Without another word, Lance buried into her embrace, curved so that his forehead rested on Pidge’s shoulder.

“I c-can’t stop thinking about them,” he confessed amid his sobs. “What – What if they think I’m dead?”

Pidge murmured an “I know” into his hair. Despite their size difference, she wrapped herself around Lance so completely that he felt guarded by her arms.

“Come on,” she said once his whimpers had quieted down. “Your room is the closest.”

Lance let her move away. His knees hurt from the position he’d assumed on the floor and, now that he no longer had Pidge there, the cold of the hangar raised goosebumps across his arms.

“Put this back on.” Pidge draped the fleece jacket over his shoulders. Her hands lingered there for a moment, drawing a line in the fabric. “It’s a better coat than it could ever be a pillow.”

It wasn’t much of a joke, but Lance smiled at her. Crying made him exhausted, but not enough to ignore Pidge’s efforts to cheer him up. He stood up.

“Don’t knock it ‘til you’ve tried it.”

They made their way to his room in silence. Pidge had to stop at the hangar doors to put in the security measures, but no more words were exchanged. Lance was just glad to have company.

They paused in front of his dorm. “Will you come in?”

Pidge studied him carefully. Lance didn’t think she could see much in the dark of the hallway, but the truth was that she’d already caught him in a breakdown, there was nothing else to hide.

“Do you want to be alone?” she finally vocalized her concern. Lance shook his head, feeling his chest constrict at the possibility that she might leave. “Then I’ll come in.”

He went straight to his bed and laid down. Pidge stood at the entrance, letting the door slide closed behind her. The awkwardness was palpable and Lance couldn’t blame her for it; Pidge was not the best at social cues.

“At least sit down with me. I promise I won’t start bawling again.” He didn’t mean to sound depreciative, but his self-consciousness must have shown, because Pidge narrowed her eyes at him.

“I don’t care if you cry, you doofus.” She marched up to the bed and sat down near the headboard. “Put your head in my lap.”

Her demanding tone didn’t fit in with the gentleness of her actions. Lance was amused by the incongruity. Pidge was rough around the edges and her earlier show off affection now made her bristle, almost as if she was afraid to reveal too much to him. Lance could understand the urge to put up a front, but he was too exhausted to be embarrassed.

He rolled on his side, fitting his shoulder under her thigh.

“My mom used to do this when I was upset.” Pidge ran a hand through his hair, pulling lightly at the knots until they were undone. “The rhythm of it always soothed me. That and her, really. Mom had – I mean, she has a calming influence.”

Lance didn’t comment on her slip up. The feeling of nails scraping against his scalp was pleasing. The personal closeness was something that they also did in his family and he had missed it. He was a naturally affectionate person and the team didn’t seem to appreciate his expansiveness all that much.

“I used to do this for Veronica and Rachel,” he breathed out. “Ronie is older and she would force me to braid their hair when I was younger. I complained about it non-stop, but now I miss it.”

Pidge traced his hairline, then down to his ear, neck, collarbone. She seemed absent-minded as she did it, mind caught somewhere else.

“Matt was the one who would call me Pidge. I used to hate that nickname. After he disappeared, it seemed only right to assume it as my new name. For him.”

Lance shifted a little, so that he could look up at her. “Your real name isn’t Pidge?”

This made her stop for a moment and look down at him in exasperation. Lance suppressed the urge to laugh, but his lips still twisted into a smile, despite his effort.

Pidge flicked him on the forehead.

“I thought you were being serious!” It was funny to see her like this. Pidge usually responded to him with either blankness or sarcasm, so it was satisfying to garner an actual reaction.

“I could have been!” Lance brought a hand up to rub his stinging forehead. “You do realize you never told Hunk and I your real name?”

“It’s Katie,” she said without preamble. The only sign of her unease was that, when Lance tried to sneak another look at her face, Pidge’s fingers held his head in place, before resuming movement in his hair.

“It’s nice to meet you, Katie.” He let out a soft snicker, which Pidge mirrored.

“Nice to meet you, Lance.”

Lance fell silent, letting her touch lull him into a torpor. The point of contact gave him something to concentrate outside of his thoughts of Earth, until the sensation and Pidge were all he could focus on.

“Did you fall asleep?” she asked after some time.

“No.” Lance slowly rose up from her lap. “I don’t know if I will be able to sleep tonight.”

Pidge frowned, looking down at her hands as Lance repositioned himself to sit at her side.

“You and I are more similar than I ever thought, I guess.”

“What, you also go crying around the castle at strange hours, hoping no one else will see?” She raised a brow at him in response. It wasn’t that much of a surprise, really. Lance had known how broken up she felt about her father and brother’s disappearance. “We will find them, Pidge. I won’t rest until we do.”

The emotion in her eyes shifted. He couldn’t really tell what Pidge was feeling, but the look on her face was both sad and warm, grateful even. Lance tried to think of a time when he or any of the others had tried to support her in her search. There might have been something said when she’d first revealed her identity, but nothing stood out since.

His chest tightened with the realization.

It was possible that Hunk or Allura had spoken to Pidge privately about it, and Lance would put good money on the odds that Shiro had comforted her more than once, but that was it. Keith was quiet and broody, too dedicated to their mission to consider what the rest of the team went through. And Lance…

Lance had been too self-involved to notice. He had wallowed in his own misfortune and it had blinded him to the fact that at least his family was safe in Cuba. Pidge’s father and brother were lost in the middle of an intergalactic war, taken prisoners. Her mother thought she was missing.

He didn’t feel like he deserved Pidge’s gratitude.

“Can you tell me something funny?” she asked out of the blue. “I don’t think talking about our families is gonna help either of us sleep tonight.”

Lance let out a shaky exhale. “You’re right. I’m all cried out.” He poked at the skin under his eyes. It felt sensitive and swollen. “All that investigating for good eye masks and the work was all for nothing!” He put his palm over his eyes, playfully turning his head to the side. “Don’t look at me! I’m a shadow of my former self!”

“You’re the resident beauty guru, I’m sure you’ll figure something out.” Pidge rolled her eyes at his theatrics. She pulled Lance’s hand away from his face. “And you owe me a story.”

“Hey, how do I owe you anything?” He pouted at her. “I just saved you from getting a crick on your neck!”

She pulled more harshly at his hand, making Lance yelp. “You woke me up and I even gave you a head massage!”

It was his turn to tug at her arm, but his smile betrayed that Lance was having fun. “Fine, but then we’re even!”

Pidge finally let go of him, looking smug. He closed his hand and pointed at her face in an act of mock aggravation.

“Is it okay if I lie down?” She looked around the room, as if searching for a hidden futon where she could stretch out.

“Sure, let me just…” He scooted down and to the side. Pidge maneuvered into the space he had created, stuck between him and the wall. “I don’t think these beds were made to be shared.” He laughed.

The position wasn’t the worst they could be in. Pidge was small enough that, with her back pressed to the wall, Lance had enough space in the mattress that he wouldn’t fall over.

“This feels like a sleepover.” Her face scrunched up at the words. He couldn’t tell if she was embarrassed or just amused by the idea. “I never had one of those before.”

“Never?” he marveled.

“No need to look that surprised,” Pidge huffed. “I just didn’t have a lot of friends growing up. Not anyone close, at least.”

“Just Matt,” Lance blurted out without thinking. A shadow crossed Pidge’s eyes, but she didn’t seem upset.

“Yeah… You would like him. Matt can be as much of a goofball as you are.” She nuzzled quietly into the pillow. The lights had dimmed automatically when they laid down, so Lance couldn’t tell if Pidge was blushing or not. “It helps, you know? Having you here.”

Pidge refused to catch his eyes as she said this, which Lance understood. Being vulnerable could be scary, even when around your best friends. Still, he felt pride well up in him, glad that he had done something right towards her.

“You wanted a funny story, right?” he asked softly, the words only loud enough to be heard. Pidge’s gaze snapped to his, obviously relieved. “How about this: My first love was this little girl I met when I was fourteen. I never even knew her name.”

“That’s not funny, not really.” Pidge’s brows took a quizzical air. “How do you know it was love, then?”

“I just know. When I think about her, about that day… It felt like fate.” He saw the cynicism on her face before Pidge could even say anything. “I swear! I met her and everything changed. I don’t know if I would have met Hunk or got into the Garrison or even made it here without her.”

Pidge sighed against the pillow. “Honestly, that sounds like a lot of pressure to put on a first love.”

Lance watched as she drew patterns into the sheets between them. She wasn’t trying to be mean, he could tell.

“She doesn’t know, obviously. I didn’t even like her straight away. It’s just –” he paused, thinking it through. “It’s just funny, how much of a difference one person can make. When she talked to me, I was feeling sorry for myself. She cheered me up.”

That same day, he had met Hunk, who had later confessed that he’d only approached Lance because he’d appeared to be in a good humor. Without Hunk, his best friend, Lance might not have tried out for the Garrison. And, without the Garrison, he wouldn’t have been in Arizona to find the Blue Lion.

“Is she why you are so obsessed with fate and such?” Pidge teased. She was yawning every few seconds, but there was a smile on her face.

“You shouldn’t knock fate down.” Lance grinned, trying to bat her hand away from the sheets. They had bunched up a bit due to her movements. “It got us into space and closer to your family.”

Pidge made a face at him, then shrugged. They’d had this conversation before, about what had led the three out into Garrison grounds that night. Pidge argued that it was bound to happen, with how often she went out to search the radio frequencies, but even that fell back into Lance’s claim that they were all destined to become the new paladins of Voltron.

“I just think that love is about commitment,” she murmured, eyes already closed. “It’s about choosing one person and then falling in love with him, even when he’s obnoxious, even when he’s…” She trailed off, having fallen asleep.

Lance chuckled at her little speech. It was nice to think that someone would eventually choose to love him, forever. He felt comforted not only by the idea, but by Pidge's slow breathing, the heat of her hand so close to his chest. His own lids felt heavier and heavier. Lance closed his eyes.

#plance #pidgance #flirtyrobot #cyance #lidge #voltron #voltron legendary defender #vld #vld lance #pidge gunderson #katie holt #lance mcclain #vld fanfiction #vld syl verse

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babyredriot · 5 years ago

Note

‘You’re my bestfriend… how did I fall in love with you?’ I nee all the Sero fluff in the world

LITERALLY SO CUTE OKAY, sorry its so long i had so much fun writing this

You went to middle school with Kirishima and Mina. Meaning that you had known them for a while now. Even though you had known them, you came into UA with an open mind and making new friends and meeting new people. Your class was an uneven number so when you found your seat wedged in between Bakugo and MIdoriya you were afraid of how you would make new friends. Midoriya seemed very kind, but anytime Bakugo slightly turned his head to give him a distasteful look, he would silence himself immediately and not talk to you for the rest of the day.

Around the third day of being at UA you were really giving up on finding any new friends at all, and just maintaining your friendships with Mina and Kirishima; when the boy who had been sitting next to you turned in his chair. He smiled at you with incredibly straight teeth and began to make jokes on how you never got to talk to anyone due to the person in front of you being such a menace. You found yourself lighting up immediately and joining in on his poking fun at Bakugo. You two laughed as Kirishima joined in, sitting next to Sero, which only enraged Bakugo more. From that day forth, people always knew wherever one of you were to go, the other would be quick to follow.

Your feelings of trust and care grew for each other even more after the USJ incident. Sero was left at the main entrance as you were transported to another area with Bakugo and Kirishima. The entire time as you were fighting villains all you could think about was how he was doing, and if he was okay. Needless to say, you were relieved when you saw him after everything was over with.

You ran towards him when you saw him with all of the energy that was left in your body. He was okay, no one had hurt him and he was still standing. Thats all you needed to know about today, right now nothing else mattered. He tightened his arms around you once you made contact with his body. He let his head fall against your shoulder and held you like you may break.

“I was so worried about you.” He said while bunching his hands in the back of your costume. You grasped onto his back and held him close.

“I know, me too.” You said into your shoulder.

“Hey! Soy Sauce Face!” You heard Bakugo’s voice ring out above everyone else’s. You turned around looking at him as he looked over you at Sero.

“Take care of your girl, she couldn’t stop muttering about how she just needed to find you over and over, it was super annoying.” He said while crossing his arms. Sero smiled and said something along the lines about how Bakugo was lucky that you were with him. To which Bakugo got the same pissed off look in his eyes which you two were so used to seeing at this point, and began to yell. Luckily after today, he did have more of a respect for you, so you and your friend were able to run away.

As time progressed the more you two learned about each other the more comfortable everything became. You started out the year being friends and had grown into a bond that would never break no matter what. Atleast that’s what you hoped as you stood outside of Sero’s room. He had become your bestfriend, your number one confidant and the only person that you were 100% yourself around at all times of the day. You had worked together through many different tasks throughout the two and a half years of knowing each other and found that there was no one else that you would want to work with. You were in your third year now, and you felt like today may be the only time you would have enough courage to finally tell him how you truly felt.

Over the last few years you had found yourself knowing Sero like the back of your hand. He started off as being your closest friend and then became your best friend, but it grew into something more for you. Unlike Kirishima, your affection for Sero never grew into a brotherly love. It simply just turned into love. You found yourself engulfed by the feelings more often than not anymore, and you thought he was starting to notice. Everyone already had in your close friend group. Hell even Kaminari had pulled you aside to ask you about it.

“SooOOOoo how’s your day?” You had asked him.

“Do you like Sero!?” He asked looking at you with those excitable eyes. You choked on the water you were drinking at the time. He patted your back and looked at you with curious eyes.

“I mean yeah he’s my best friend,” You told him looking anywhere but his eyes. He rolled his own and stopped the conversation moving on to the next subject tat caught his interest, seeing that you weren’t going to confirm your feelings for him anytime soon.

You were brought back to the present as someone shoved your shoulder lightly. “Well Baka! Are you going to go in? They’re all waiting!” Bakugo said while looking down at you. You stuttered as he pulled the door open revealing that Sero wasn’t alone. The whole group was there to your dismay. With final exams coming up and all of you moving on to the bigger parts of your lives, you had forgotten that tonight all of you were hanging out just you six. Being a school night Bakugo refused to let anyone drink so it seemed that reminiscing on old times would just have to do.

“Y/N!” Sero cried looking up at you with bright eyes and the smile that could make your heart stop. He had such beautiful smile, eyes, hair, face, arm- “Are you going to come inside orrrr?” He said looking at you with a teasing hint in his eyes now. You smiled, knowing that now was not the right time to tell him and barged into the room to have a good night with your friends- and crush.

“Okay, that was a good one but!” You screamed out “Do you remember when Sero and Kaminari had a battle on who could get the microwave to start from the furthest point?” The room filled with laughter as the scene came back into all of your minds.

“Of course I do!” Sero cried, “I still want a rematch! You cheated and you know it! If I knew we were allowed to use quirks then I wouldn’t have even gotten into the bet with you!” He threw his arms up into the air exasperatedly as Kaminari cackled across the room. You looked around at your closest friends and wish that nothing would ever change. The people you were the most close to were in this room. You hoped they would always be as close with you as they were now. Your eyes trailed over to Sero who was in a now heated arguement with Kaminari. You observed the way that his cheeks moved anytime he laughed, or how his forehead would scrunch the slightest bit anytime he would get frustrated with something Kaminari would say. Little to your knowing, everyone but Sero was watching you admire the boy and slowly they all made eye contact with each other, getting the same idea in their heads.

‘Well, would you look at the time” Kirishima said, faking a yawn. “I really should go to sleep since we have that extensive training tomorrow and all, right Bakugo?”

“Wha- Oh, sure.”

“Yeah I should go to sleep too, I’m going to need to get my sleep schedule back in track for when I’m a kick-ass sidekick!” Mina said winking your way. You were lost at first, seeing as how it was only 9:30, until that wink. You felt your whole face heat up as you knew what your friends were doing. Those b*tches were setting you up!

“Are you sure you have to go to bed?” You asked grinding your teeth together looking at Kaminari with pitiful eyes. “You normally stay up so much later than this!” He smiled at you wickedly.

“Nah, I really should be off, need to get that good rest and all if I’m going to kick your ass tomorrow in training.”

You felt absolutely betrayed as your friends filed out of the room one by one, each giving you a look of ‘NOW DO IT NOW’, which made you feel even more horrified. Sero looked absolutely dumbfounded on why his room was packed with his friends two minutes ago and now it was just you and him sitting on your bed. He brushed it off soon enough though and turned to you, looking at you with his dark eyes.

“So, now that the peanut gallery is gone, remember when it was just you and me against the world?” He asked reaching out to grasp your hand in his own. This was nothing new for you two seeing as how being best-friends both of you often turned to one another for physical comfort. Your heart still spiked at his contact though, as you nodded your head at his question.

“Those were the good old days. When we didn’t have to worry about Kaminari getting beaten up by a pack of girls because of something Mineta dragged him into. Or when we could make fun of Kirishima about his manliness without him having to go on a full Red-Riot rant towards us about chivalry.” You said looking up at him you smile growing at the memories. “You’ve always been my other half Sero.” You say waiting for the right time to tell him how you felt.

At those words something seemed to ignite within him. He straightened his back and looked at you with a more serious gaze. You were confused, did you say something wrong, was he hurt by something you said? He seemed… nervous?

“You know Y/N, since the day I reached over to talk to you, seeing as how you were pathetically going to spend your whole UA career in silence if I didn’t,” You shoved his shoulder and laughed as he teased you, “I’ve always known that I was going to get something great out of our relationship. You mean the world to me and then some, you truly have become my bestfriend.” He paused his own words and seemed to collect himself. You watched him inquisitively, wondering where he was going with this. Finally, he took a deep breath and looked down at you. “I keep thinking about when it happened and really I can’t seem to differentiate, from a time when it was and when it wasn’t. It seems like I always kind of knew but never really had the capacity to realize it. It s a question thats been racking my mind for years now and I kept constantly asking myself over and over, You’re my bestfriend…. How did I fall in love with you?” He looked down at your hands which were grasped together in their embrace.

You felt your words you wanted to say stuck in your throat. He said it. He had finally broken the barrier both of you had been dancing around now for years. There was no more denying how you felt for one another. He meant the world to you and you him. Sero seemed to be waiting for an answer as he anxiously drew circles into the skin on your hand. You grabbed his face and lifted it to have his eyes meet yours.

“Sero...” You said your eyes flickering down to his lips. “I’ve loved you ever since the day I thought I could lose you. The thought of losing you so early, when we had had no time to get to know each other like we do now, was the worst feeling ever. What I said is still true, you're my other half, a-a-and I love you.” You said nervously fidgeting with the hair that had fallen in between his face and your hand. He reached his hand up to grab your own on his face and stilled it, looking at you deep in your eyes. It felt like he could read every single emotion that you were feeling. With how well he knew you, he probably could. He leaned down to touch his forehead to yours.

“Y/N..” He said trailing off to look at you.

“Just kiss me already idiot.” You said laughing softly. So, he did kiss you. He reached behind your head to lace his fingers within your hair and pulled you close. There was a moment of hesitation between you two before your lips touched, knowing everything was about to change the second that this happened.

Then, he kissed you. His lips were so warm against your own. You sighed into the kiss and leaned into the dance that you two were creating, You felt so whole, and happy. As good of a friend as he was, he was an even better kisser. He leaned you back into his bed and liften his head back up. He stared down at your eyes and brushed your hair out of your eyes.

“HEY! EXTRAS! HAVE YOU GUYS MADE OUT YET?!” Bakugo yelled past the door and you suddenly became very aware that your friends were never the type to not snoop. Sero chuckled at the sight of your blushing face and reached down to brush the pad of his thumb across your pink cheeks.

“You’re so beautiful... but.. I think we need to let our friends back in before a certain acid related one burns my door down.” He said while begrudgingly standing up. You didn't mind that much. You knew that he would be your best friend for the rest of your life, and that you would have more than enough time to find all new avenues of your relationship.

#bnha #sero hanta #hanta sero x reader #hanta sero #hes so cute #bakusquad #bnha fic

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mamamittens · 4 years ago

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In honor of the New Year and as of right now, three people who have voted (3 for Yuki, and 1 for Emi and Joan), I’m letting you guys see character designs more in style for their respective shows with some more information! Remember, questions are encouraged and you can vote multiple people if your interest isn’t cleanly split!

Yuki is actually half Russian on her mother’s side! She’s also completely fluent Japanese, English, and Russian!

Her quirk is called Winter’s Aria, which has a base form of mutation but can branch out into an emitter and transformation type. In short, her internal body is nearly completely frozen, maintaining a temperature range between 27-29 Fahrenheit or -2.7 to -1.6, which is the mutation part. She has a health usage license to maintain her body temperature so long as she does not damage or injure people or property using the emitter properties of her quirk. The emitter part allows her to control the atmosphere and ice in various forms, in action this allows her to create ice and control these elements so long as they maintain a cold temperature. She cannot control water unless it approaches freezing or below. Her control can be strengthened when she sings, which she rarely does with an audience due to social anxiety, but can accomplish great feats. Such as creating a polar vortex, but it would require a great amount of vocal and emotional power to do so. Transformation turns her whole body to ice and lowers the ambient temperature as a matter of course.

Her quirk is a combination of her parents and their grandparents.

Mother: Frozen Heart (nearly identical to Yuki but somewhat weaker and without the musical part).

Her father: Winter’s Heart (his internal organs are frozen and he exudes a cold temperature uncontrollably but can control and create ice directly from his body)

Her mother: Seasonal Change (she can control the atmosphere around her in a limited function, usually generating winds or altering the clouds, which allows her to instinctively know the exact atmospheric weathers)

Father: Musicality (The ability to create a musical in his environment through song, often with unintended consequences)

His Mother: Perfect pitch (Exactly as it sounds, she can sing perfectly any note within reasonable human range)

His Father: Musical Theatre (He can compel his environment to become a musically inclined environment, though not always guaranteeing that people sing)

Emi!

This is her first wanted poster for the crime of stealing an emerald from a jeweler’s workshop that was owned by a Celestial Dragon to be set into a new necklace, hence the high price. But she absolutely insists that it wasn’t theft since the emerald wasn’t the Celestial Dragon’s in the first place. And yes, I am avoiding drawing their full bodies for the time being in the One Piece art style until later!

As a fun fact, she doesn’t actually know her name, so she simply shortened her name from “Emerald”. And as a bonus, she can create either two fans or an umbrella for combat and defense. The fans can create blades of energy and the umbrella can fire either a beam or shots of energy. I repeat, this isn’t a crossover with Steven Universe, but it is inspired by the ideas in that story. An astute reader will know why Emi is firm in her belief that she didn’t steal the emerald, but is very insistent on not showing her features unless absolutely necessary. No one knew she was sentient before this point and it’s not due to a devil fruit, either. She’s curious and enjoys fixing things, usually after taking them apart.

Joan!

This is her first bounty poster as well! You’ll notice that this poster has her name wrong! That’s because the marines mistakenly thought her name was ‘John’ and took her height and pre-teen frame as an indication she was male. The ‘Spade’ was added since ‘John’ is a very common name in the hopes of setting her apart from other wanted pirates who happened to be named John. The Spades did not take this well, though Joan thought it was humorous, so they took to loudly calling her ‘Little Queen’ to fit the card theme of the ship and crew. This exact picture was taken when she was pushing a barrel onto the ship. The bounty is exceptionally low for the Grand Line and the Spade crew at the time, because her position on the crew was unknown and she hadn’t been seen fighting in any capacity. Her position in fact being assistant cook where she helped prep and cooked herself from time to time, a necessity for a crew with a prolific eater like Ace on board. She also stuck close to Ace to prevent him from falling overboard or into his food when he has a narcolepsy attack, being one of the few who can manage not to be stabbed when reaching near his food. She does not willingly fight, but she does know some self defense from both her father and official classes at the private school she used to go to.

Her talents lie in the field of cooking and knifework with a soft spot for food sculptures and desserts. She is also quite intelligent and skipped grades in part because of her prolific height (as she otherwise would have stuck out in her classes to the detriment of her social life, which suffered anyway because of her height and appearance). She doesn’t have a devil fruit, but her curse personifies emotion into objects or physical transformations, of which her current one is a combination of hunger and fear.

As a New Years bonus, here’s the pictures I mentioned previously in the style of their respective shows! Mostly, I haven’t gotten one for Calypso yet since she’s not a wanted criminal, if ever. But I will have a fun fact for her at the end!

Originally, Halia was going to be called Joan too! But I decided two characters with the same name was a bit confusing and went with a Hawaiian name meaning “in remembrance of a loved one” after her late father, who died before she was born. Her step-father does not like her mixed heritage and her mother agreed to refer to her as “Hailey” on most cases so she wouldn’t stick out too much as a child in Galar, which only mostly worked.

Isabella looking appropriately classy and, as a fun fact, I didn’t realize how simple Ouran’s style was when I started this picture. Everything looks like it’s cotton and there’s hardly any jewelry to be seen, which is probably as a limitation of the mangaka and also because it’s from the POV of Haruhi, who doesn’t care about such things. So I literally didn’t have any easy to find references for silk, gold, or gemstones.

And Isabella is actually childhood friends with Haruhi, as her godfather was a work friend with Haruhi’s mother before she passed who kept in contact with Ranka because of Haruhi and Isabella’s friendship. Isabella acts like an annoying older sister to Haruhi who is ready to spoil her, if only Haruhi didn’t object literally every time she tries. This includes wiping away her debt to the host club, which Haruhi feels honor-bound to fulfill despite the dubious circumstances, so yes, the plot will still happen.

And for Calpyso! She actually does have a devil fruit! The Lonely-Lonely devil fruit, which in essence, can make her unnoticeable. It’s considered cursed since most fail to control the fruit and die from natural circumstances, usually starvation or illness from going completely unnoticed by anyone. Like, one got stranded on an island with no food sources and another was accidentally shot and only had their body discovered after the fact. It renders the user a ghost of their world, earning her the name “Ghost of Paradise Lost” on her file in the Marines, and when utilized to the full effect, lets her walk through objects. With careful control and physical contact, she can bring others with her into this state, but they must not draw attention to themselves (talking loudly or touching other people) as the effect is lessened to a sort of mild ‘notice-me-not’ type of deal. But they can’t be taken with her to pass through physical objects or disappear completely like she can herself. She enjoys scaring people with her fruit powers and wears sea stone earrings when needed to ensure she remains mostly noticed in conversations or meetings, particularly if those involved have trigger fingers. She also carries a truly prolific amount of knives. Just in case.

Vote here!

https://strawpoll.com/uzvpd982z

#Poll #ouran high school host club #my hero academia #boku no hero #mha #bnha #One piece #pokemon sun and moon #pokemon sword and shield #Ocs #archive of our own #AO3

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dalekofchaos · 5 years ago

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What if Mace Windu trained Anakin Skywalker

In an au where Mace is chosen to train Anakin, The council decides to honor Qui-Gon's wishes and train Anakin, but recognizes his emotion and age would make a poor combination as a first student for a fresh Jedi Knight. Mace Windu is given the task of guiding Anakin's force potential and emotional tendencies. How does Vapaad's capacity to harness emotion harm/help Anakin?

First off we know that Anakin is controlled by his emotions, and the Jedi Council senses his emotions such as fear for his mother that could lead him down to the path to the Dark Side. Mace Windu knows how to control the dark side, he uses his dark and volatile emotions and channels them into his lightsaber fighting form. He walks a fine line and knows how to control both sides. This is exactly what Anakin needed. Where Obi-Wan was inexperienced (and barely being a Knight) and believed in always remaining calm, not using his emotions at all, he didn’t help Anakin. Anakin couldn’t ignore his emotions, it is who he is, he’s a very emotional person and ignoring his emotions isn’t going to help him. Mace could’ve straightened him out and taught him how to channel his emotions into his fighting, that is what he needed. Not ignoring his emotions but learning to control them. Had he done that, he wouldn’t be the same Anakin in AOTC.

Few scenarios

During the Republic and Clone Wars

Windu's and Anakin's personalities mesh really well. Windu sees Anakin as like himself when he was younger so he gives him plenty of attention and helps him to avoid pitfalls that he otherwise would have fallen prey to. Anakin seeing Windu as a mentor that gets him.

Anakin’s Lightsaber is just like that in canon, only this time his hilt is made of Electrum and has a purple Crystal.

Depa Billaba is like Anakin’s big sister. Always being there for Anakin to confide in before he gets close to Master Windu. And when Anakin was still in training she promised to kick anyone’s ass who dared bullied Anakin or calling him slave(followed by Mace yelling NO YOU FUCKING WON’T) needless to say, Anakin would never confide in Palpatine while Mace and Depa are around.

Despite Anakin and Obi-Wan not being master and apprentice, they form a close friendship

Mace would encourage Anakin to make friends with his fellow Padawans.

Mace eventually instructs Anakin in the philosophy and use of Vapaad. During their first training session Anakin instinctively grasps the binary concept of the style and gives himself to the intense, synergistic heat of the battle, fueling his moves with both the light and dark side of the Force. Mace, realizing he's sparring with someone who truly gets the style, lowers his mental defenses and fully commits to the passion and intricacies of Vapaad. The duality of the style creates a closed feedback loop where the energy of the Force flows freely between the two in a way that has never happened before.

With visions of his mother troubling Anakin, perhaps Mace would send a Jedi to Tatooine to make sure Shmi is alright. Maybe make it in time to stop the Tusken Raiders.

With Mace captured, Anakin would want to save Mace as much as Padme.

Anakin might never have lost his arm to Dooku. Logically, he wouldn't even have been there since he'd be with his master, Windu. Even if he had been sent to help Kenobi, he would have acted less brashly, being better disciplined by Windu. So there's significant difference just through ep2.

With their closer relationship, I can see Anakin confiding in Mace about his relationship with Padme. Anakin is afraid. Mace first instinct would be to tell the Council, but perhaps Mace Windu can tell Anakin the legend of Jolee Bindo. Basically telling him. "Love doesn't lead to the dark side. Passion can lead to rage and fear, and can be controlled, but passion is not the same thing as love. Controlling your passions while being in love.” “The lesson is that you need to beware of your passions and control them, but love itself will save you, not condemn you." this way Mace can keep Anakin with the Jedi, while also helping Anakin controlling his emotions. Jolee is Legends, but fuck it, this is my AU and it really would’ve helped Anakin.

Obi-Wan will train Ahsoka. By the time the Clone Wars rages on, Obi-Wan has become a master of Ahsoka Tano. I do believe Anakin and Ahsoka would’ve been friends at least.

Anakin must guide Ahsoka into not giving into her anger as Obi-Wan fakes his own death to get closer to Cad Bane

Anakin and Obi-Wan work together to bring the truth of Ahsoka’s innocence and exposing Barriss.

As the war nears to the end, Depa introduces Anakin to her Padawan, Caleb Dume. During his time as a youngling, Caleb was in awe with Anakin and looked up to him, shy at first but eventually they become close. Anakin becomes an older brother to Caleb and Anakin tells Caleb the same thing Depa told him. Depa then tells Anakin “Oh Anakin.....that’s my job” followed by Mace saying “NO IT FUCKING ISN’T”

As the incident with Fives happens, Anakin and Mace decide to investigate Fives’ claims. Nearly everyone in the 501st and 187th Legions remove their chips.

Anakin would not be so easily convinced into killing Dooku. Anakin starts questioning the Chancellor. “I cannot kill an unarmed prisoner. This man is a Sith Lord and the leader of the Separatists, he is too valuable, why would I kill him?” Palpatine is shaking in his boots, he must play along without looking suspicious. Once Mace regains consciousness, he congrats his apprentice in defeating Dooku and taking him alive.

For Anakin’s valor in The Clone Wars and for successfully bringing in Count Dooku alive, Anakin is granted the Rank of Jedi Master and joins the Council.

Dooku is brought before the senate and put on trial. Before Dooku can reveal anything about Palpatine’s true nature, Cad Bane assassinates Dooku on Palpatine’s orders.

Now there is a man hunt for both Cad Bane and General Grievous.

Obi-Wan is tasked with finding Grievous, Mace is tasked with finding Cad Bane. Anakin is tasked with spying on Palpatine.

Because of Palpatine’s suspicious actions and Count Dooku’s sudden assassination, Anakin is given more incentive to spy on the Chancellor.

Anakin confides in Mace about his visions about Padme’s death. Mace tells him “these could be falsely implanted visions by the Sith, the dark side clouds our ability to perceive the future. Do not trust in these visions Anakin, until we can uncover the true Sith Lord behind everything, trust your feelings and the force” Anakin is assured that these dreams are not real.

When Padme tells Anakin “What if the democracy we thought we were serving no longer exists, and the Republic has become the very evil we have been fighting to destroy?” this time, Anakin agrees, he starts to believe that something isn’t right with the Chancellor. This will have Padme bring Anakin in on the meeting with Bail, Mon Mothma and the other senators. They say what they say in those deleted scenes, but when Anakin speaks, he will say “when I was on the rescue mission with Master Windu, Chancellor Palpatine wanted me to execute Count Dooku....when he was brought on trial he was assassinated. Something isn’t right.” This affirms that everyone must rebel if the Republic is to survive, even Anakin must join them. “I will report to the Jedi Council, the Jedi serve the Republic not one single politician.”

When Palpatine tells Anakin the “tragedy of Darth Plagueis the wise” Anakin immediately stops him, “if the Jedi do not tell this story, how do you know this?” Once again, Palpatine must act quickly. Plays it off as “an old tale I heard from Chancellor Valorum to warn us of the Sith.” Anakin still remains suspicious but hears the tale. Anakin does not ask the question of “if it’s possible to learn that power?” Anakin knows the visions are false. There is a complete divide between Anakin and Palpatine. He knows he cannot be turned, so all Palpatine needs is an excuse to execute Order 66.

Mace Windu tracks Cad Bane to the moon of Concord Dawn

Cad Bane killed Dooku because Palpatine payed him, but also so Bane can draw out Mace Windu, so Boba Fett can finally have his revenge. I know what you must be thinking, “Cad Bane was killed by Boba Fett in the cut CW storyline” yes, but since it did not happen and as it looks like the new TCW will not feature that storyline, this is what I am going with.

Mace Windu started out as the hunter, but he is now the hunted. He is being hunted by Cad Bane, Boba Fett, Aurra Sing, Bossk and Dengar. Mace uses his wits and Vaapad to guide him out of his ordeal.

One by one, Mace cuts the Bounty hunters down. They are either dead or severely injured. All that is left standing is Mace, Bane and Fett. Bane and Fett barrage Mace with blasters, rockets, flamethrowers, thermal detonators and he’s still standing motherfuckers. Boba gets one good shot in Mace, severely injuring the Jedi Master, but deflects his last shot to hit Boba Fett in the head giving him his iconic dented helmet. Finally Mace and Bane are alone. Mace disarms Bane and demands to know who ordered Dooku’s assassination. Bane mocks Windu “isn’t it obvious Jedi? Darth Sidious. One who controls the Senate..now who do you think that i-” Boba Fett shoots Cad Bane dead before losing consciousness.

Anakin and Palpatine talking about the scene where Palpatine tells him of the dark side. Anakin puts two and two together. And reports him to the council. Without the Chancellor twisting his mind against the Jedi and decency in general, Anakin maintains his place and respect for the Jedi.

Mace just arrives. back. “Anakin, Cad Bane is dead, he was hired by Darth Sidious to silence Dooku.” “Master, Chancellor Palpatine is Darth Sidious” The scene plays out as usual, but because Anakin is his apprentice, Anakin goes with Mace, Kit Fisto, Agen Kolar, and Saesee Tiin.

The confrontation will happen. Sidious kills the Jedi masters, only Mace and Anakin remain. Palpatine knows Anakin cannot be turned, so he fights serious and uses both of his Lightsabers. The fight is on even footing, but both Anakin and Mace are able to disarm Palpatine. “You have lost, my lord” “no, no YOU HAVE LOST!” Palpatine fires force lightning upon Mace but he blocks it. Palpatine pleas to Anakin “you must choose” Anakin stands with Mace and declares “I am a Jedi” “So be it, JEDI! EXECUTE ORDER 66! Clone Troopers storm in and starts firing upon Anakin and Mace and Palpatine force pushes them out the window.

Anakin and Windu rush to the Jedi Temple to warn the Jedi of Sidious' treachery, only to discover that Clone Troopers have already begun an Operation Knightfall. They manage to locate and rescue Masters Shaak Ti and Cin Drallig. Anakin contacts Padmé and tells her to meet him and the other Jedi on Sentor Bail Organa's starship.

Because the 501st and 187th Legions all removed their chips, Rex and Lieutenant Law are still loyal to Anakin and Mace.

Ahsoka would do the same to Cody as she did to Rex. When returning rendezvous point with Obi-Wan, Cody makes peace with Obi-Wan

The Jedi later meet up with Obi-Wan, Ahsoka, Yoda, Plo Koon, Padmé, C-3PO, R2-D2, and Senator Organa and agree to put a stop to Darth Sidious.

Sensing a disturbance in the force, Anakin and Obi-Wan head to Mustafar while the others decide to head back to Coruscant.

Yoda, Plo Koon, Shaak Ti and Cin Dralling attack Sidious, who has reformed the Republic into the first Galactic Empire. Despite their best efforts, the Jedi are unable to destroy the Sith Lord, who kills everyone but Yoda

Anakin and Obi-Wan have discovered that the Republic Commandos have slaughtered the Separatist leaders. After killing the Clones, the Jedi prepare to head back prepare to return to Coruscant, only to find Darth Sidious waiting for them.

Padme suddenly goes into labor, so Mace and Ahsoka takes her to the remote asteroid Polis Massa.

After Anakin again rejects an offer to join the Dark Side, Sidious engages the two Jedi in a fierce lightsaber duel that spans across several levels of the volcanic world. Ultimately, the Jedi win and Sidious is buried under rubble, allowing them to escape into space with R2-D2 before Sidious can dig himself out. Anakin and Obi-Wan head to Polis Massa, where Padmé has given birth to twins that she has named Luke and Leia. It is decided that the twins must be separated in order to protect them from Sidious. Anakin will give Luke to his step-brother Owen and asks him to keep Luke safe. Bail Organa agrees to keep Padme and Leia safe on Alderaan.

The Jedi then scatter across the galaxy until the time is right to challenge the newly established Empire, with Yoda heading to Dagobah and Obi-Wan heading to Tatooine to watch over Luke as a request to Anakin.

Padme made the hard decision to separate the twins. Padme chose to keep Leia, while she gave Luke to Owen and Beru to keep him safe. Padme is not only the mother of Luke and Leia, Padme is the mother of the Rebellion. Padme fakes her death, and goes on to lead the Rebellion to fight Palpatine in the shadows. Known across the Empire as a mysterious and unknown but powerful political figure under the code name Tython, she is among the Empire’s Most Wanted and Public Enemy No 1.

Mace has left to gather surviving Jedi and lead his own Rebel cell. Think of Mace as the Jedi Saw Gerrera

Anakin, meanwhile, disappears into space in order to secretly combat the Empire. Fighting for the Republic, for freedom and for his family

Sidious launches a manhunt for Anakin, Obi-Wan, Yoda, and Mace Windu, vowing to "terminate the Jedi once and for all."

The Dark days of the Empire

Palpatine brought Maul back into his good graces. As Maul attempts to kill him, Palpatine simply tortures him until he knows his place. Once again he is Darth Maul. Apprentice to Darth Sidious and the new enforcer for the Empire.

Palpatine has gained a secret apprentice. Mara Jade The Emperor’s Hand and powerful within the dark side. Groomed from childhood to adulthood She holds authority over the Grand Inquisitor, but The Emperor’s Hand isn’t the only title she holds, known by The Inquisitors as The Last Sister. Her goal is to hunt down the Jedi and exterminate the Skywalker family and bring order to the galaxy

In place of Vader’s Mustafar castle, Darth Maul has a castle on Dathomir

Mace alongside his Jedi squadron and 187th Legion has brought the hurt to the Empire. He has gone to numerous lengths to stop the Empire at every turn.

Anakin has become a shadow like figure to the Empire. The one Jedi they all fear. He’s assassinating Moffs and high ranking members of the Imperial military. Freeing aliens enslaved to the Empire. Anakin leads the 501st Legion to bring justice to the galaxy. Whenever Anakin is ever cornered by Stormtroopers, the 501st is there, especially his ever faithful Captain Rex. Whenever Inquisitors are sent Anakin is always victorious. He saves apprentices, younglings and Jedi who are all struggling to survive the Empire’s Might. Anakin directs all survivors to Ach-To. They will be safe there. At some point Anakin reunites with Ahsoka and Kanan.

Anakin, Mace and Kanan all reunite. All of them grieve for Depa. They know this will probably be the last time they will ever see each other again. Anakin hugs Kanan goodbye and says “until we meet again little brother” and all 3 of them says “may the force be with you” all going their separate ways. Before Mace leaves, all Anakin can do is hug him

Anakin instructs Ahsoka on where to find the Jedi he saved and tells her to guide them. Ahsoka will take them to Mortis.

Mace launches a suicide mission against The Emperor. An entire squadron of Jedi Knights and the 187th Legion makes one last stand against The Empire and The Emperor. The 187th Legion and Mace’s strike team have all been destroyed by Palpatine. The fight between Mace and Palpatine is even and is laying destruction within the Imperial palace. Mace feels as though this is a trick, the last time he had Palpatine where he wanted him, Order 66 was executed. Why is he still alive? He could’ve destroyed him along with his Legion and fellow Jedi...something from the shadows is clouding his vision. The lightning stops and Palpatine simply sits back on his throne. “Attack me master Windu, I am unarmed. You want to kill me and end the Empire do you not” Mace understands he wants to unbalance him and Mace refuses. “I will not play by your games, my lord.” “Oh my old friend, you’ve already lost” Suddenly a piercing crimson blade pierces Mace’s chest. Mace looks behind to see Darth Maul. And then as Mace clutches his chest, Palpatine unleashes a torrent of force lightning, killing the Jedi master once and for all.

Anakin feels Mace’s death and falls to the floor. His mentor and his brother died. All he can do now is continue his attack on the Empire and restore the Jedi.

After the destruction of Jedha, Scarif and the reveal of the Death Star. the time for Rebellion is now. Padme contacts Anakin that the time to unite the family is now.

Darth Maul boards the Tantive IV. He kills everyone but Leia, she is the only prisoner worth taking.

Anakin goes to Luke and Owen. When Anakin arrives, Luke immediately knows who Anakin is and embraces Anakin in a hug. Anakin thanks Owen and Beru for keeping Luke safe. It isn’t just Luke Anakin is reunited with, it’s R2-D2 and C-3PO. R2 is all happy beeps. 3PO was memory wiped but Anakin understands. They bid Owen and Beru farewell.

Anakin and Luke goes to bring back Obi-Wan. As old friends reunite, Anakin informs Obi-Wan about the situation and of Mace’s death. Obi-Wan tells him he felt it as well but Mace trained him well. But Luke tells them both that R2 has a message for Obi-Wan. Leia’s message plays and Anakin is in tears and reaches his hand for his daughter. As Anakin left Captain Rex with Phoenix Squadron and the rest of the 501st must remain with the Rebellion, they seek out a pilot. So they find Han Solo. When they are talking payment, to Obi-Wan’s surprise and to Han’s joy, Anakin dumps a shit ton of credits. “Is that enough to pay for our passage?” Han who cannot stop smiling “More than enough, ten times over.” Obi-Wan just stares at Anakin “and just WHERE DID YOU GET ALL THAT???” Anakin says “you’d be surprised as to how much credits the Moffs are all carrying.”

Thanks to Anakin’s generous donation, Han is able to pay off his debt to Jabba the moment he comes to him. Oh he still shoots Greedo first, but he just needed to do that to get Jabba’s attention

Anakin admires the Falcon while Luke calls it a piece of junk. After hearing Anakin’s compliments of the Falcon and seeing Han in all smiles, Obi-Wan has a horrible thought “Oh no.....there’s two of them”

Anakin and Han fight over who flies the Falcon and Obi-Wan is regretting his life choices

Anakin and Obi-Wan teach Luke the ways of the Jedi

During their flight to Alderaan, Anakin tells Luke the truth of Leia and his mother. How beautiful, kind and strong Padme is and how both him and Leia were separated. The time is now to join and train his children and end the Emperor together.

Unlike Vader, Maul takes sadistic glee in The Death Star. He still chokes those who dare question Tarkin’s rule as he finds kinship in Tarkin’s brutality

Obi-Wan knows Maul is on board and must face him and disables the tractor beam. Anakin must save his daughter.

Maul senses Obi-Wan and Anakin, but his main focus is “KENOBI”

Han asks why he cares so much about one blasted princess. Anakin simply says, she’s his daughter and Luke’s sister and she is more important than he could possibly realize....also she’s rich and will reward him just as much and that’s all Han needed to hear.

Anakin sees what Luke’s trying to do with Chewie and points out, no need and ignites his lightsaber

Everyone in the detention center lies dead. and Anakin and Luke go to find Leia.

Leia recognizes Anakin almost immediately. Leia was shown holo recordings of her father by Padme since she was a child and embraces her father. Anakin tells Leia who Luke is and the siblings embrace in a hug

Darth Maul and Obi-Wan duel to the death. “You can’t win Maul. If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.” Maul isn’t having any of it and fully intends to kill Kenobi

As the Skywalkers, Han, Chewie and the droids prepare to escape, they see Obi-Wan and Obi-Wan makes the sacrifice. Anakin is in tears and Luke shouts “NO!” Darth Maul prepares to do the same to Anakin, but they shoot the blast doors in time and escape.

Anakin and Luke reunite with Padme. Finally, after 20 years The Skywalkers are reunited.

The 501st assist the Rebels in the Death Star assault. It is going well. Anakin must stay behind on Yavin with Padme and Leia. He has faith Luke and The Rebels can destroy the Death Star

As he senses Maul destroying the X-Wings one by one, Anakin feels helpless as he has Luke in his crosshairs

Maul feels a pity, as Luke would’ve been the perfect apprentice to help him kill the Emperor

Han makes the save and Luke destroys the Death Star

Han and Luke are given their medals

Throughout the years between ANH and ESB, Anakin would train his children. By now they have both achieved the rank of Jedi Knight. As Maul and the Empire finds them, they must go. Anakin directs them to Dagobah where Yoda will complete their training.

However Anakin tells them he will meet them there. He intends to face Maul on Hoth. The fight is what you expect. Anakin uses Vaapad against Maul and Maul’s arrogance gets the better of him. Maul dies in Anakin’s arms. “Are....are you the chosen one? Are your children the chosen ones?” “We are.” “You will all avenge us”

Han does not like the thought of going to Dagobah, especially with the Empire on their trail. With Leia assuring him all will go well, Han is a little assured. When the Falcon crashes in the water. Han and Chewie looses it

Luke and Leia are very patient when it comes to Yoda but as soon as Chewie comes over, Chewie confirms he is Yoda. Han goes “and how would you know that???” “I fought in the Clone Wars, Han” “Well, what do you want, a medal???”

Luke and Leia are put through Yoda’s training and during that time, Han makes his move on Leia and embraces her in a kiss.

Luke and Leia together lift the Falcon out of the swamp and Han gets to work fast to clean the Falcon.

Luke and Leia sense their father on Bespin and in great danger. They want to leave, but Yoda strongly advises against it. Han talks them into it. He owes Anakin for getting him out of debt to Jabba, so it’s the least he can do.

Han and Lando reunite like old friends and treats Luke and Leia with hospitality. But they feel something’s off

Mara Jade reveals herself and holds Anakin hostage. “Draw your lightsabers and your father dies. Fortunately for you, The Emperor wants you all alive.”

Before Anakin could be put into carbonite freezing, Anakin gives one last moment with his children and Han. He hugs Luke and Leia goodbye and tells Han to keep them both safe. As Anakin is frozen into carbonite, all Leia can do is hug Han and her brother and all Luke can do is cry with his sister.

Mara Jade tells the Twins “If you wish to see your father ever again, come before the Emperor. This is your only hope.”

Lando signals to Han of his plan via wink and both Han and Lando starts blasting Imperials and hands the twins their lightsabers.

Leia is absolutely furious with Lando. He explains himself that Bespin was held hostage. Luke understands, but Leia almost loses herself. “We can bring him back.”

As both Luke and Leia explain everything to their mother, they all plan to bring Anakin home

Palpatine has Anakin where he wants him as a decoration aboard his throne room in the Death Star II and his lightsaber right by his side. Palpatine would monologue to the frozen Anakin. “Anakin my old friend, I know you can hear me. This is what loyalty to the Jedi got you. Servitude, loss and imprisonment. You were nothing but a slave when you were found and a slave you shall remain. The perfect punishment for denying me 20 years ago. And when you’re children arrive, they will be made into what you should have been. Mine. They will embrace the dark side of the force and only then will you be free. You will watch your precious Padme and her Rebellion die, your children will die and then my old friend, you will die.” A single tear leaves Anakin’s face

Mara Jade heard everything. She’s beginning to question everything Palpatine ever taught her was lie.

Luke and Leia surrenders themselves while Han leads the ground assault on Endor

Luke and Leia feel the conflict within Mara, but Mara puts on a front. She has to.

Luke and Leia are brought before the Emperor and he makes them both feel the hatred and rage at seeing their friends die one by one. They both draw their lightsabers and aim to kill the Emperor

Mara Jade intervenes....for the plan to work, Mara must play her part

Mara and the twins are evenly matched.

Luke and Mara duel, while Leia attempts to save her father

As they duel, Luke attempts to get through to her. “You are not what he made you. you have a choice” “What? the be a Rebel? a Jedi?” “A choice to be better.” “You sound just like your father. He thought I could be saved, I was the Emperor’s since childhood” There’s nothing for me.” “You have me. I am offering you a chance, you only have to take it” Luke extends a hand to Mara Jade and she takes it.

Mara fills Luke and Leia telepathically about the plan. After Maul fell on Hoth, she hunted Anakin down. He waited for her to come. She told him she had every intention of killing him, the Jedi and the Skywalker family. Anakin would not allow that to happen. But Anakin sensed something within her. That she knows that this isn’t right, some part of her knew that this isn’t right. The Emperor raised her to be his hand and weapon. Anakin tells her there is a better way. “Living as a Jedi is not worth it. No, not as a Jedi, the choice to choose and live free. A better way of life. Help me stop the Emperor and you will be free.” So they devised a plan, something The Emperor could not resist. The Emperor could keep Anakin as a trophy to punish him and turn his children against him. At the right moment when he is free, Anakin will strike. It will weaken him momentarily and together his family will kill The Emperor and destroy the Sith once and for all.

Luke, Mara and Leia stand before the emperor and bow

The Emperor is pleased. His arrogance clouds his judgement “Good. Good. Soon your father will be free and he will watch helplessly as his Rebellion ends. As the Rebellion ends, the Jedi will be no more and your mother and his precious Pad-” Anakin’s Lightsaber pierces Palpatine. To his horror, Anakin is free. “You do not dare say her name ever again.”

Anakin, Luke and Leia stand united. Father and his children. Jedi Masters. The Skywalkers. The Chosen ones.

Palpatine has had enough defiance from the Jedi and unleashes storm after storm of force lightning.

Palpatine asks Mara Jade to kill them and to fulfill her destiny. Anakin asks Mara to help them. “You FOOL Anakin, she is my weapon and slave, she is mine, she knows nothing else, something you should have learned LONG AGO”

As Palpatine is focused on destroying the Skywalkers. Mara Jade stabs him in the back. “et tu, Mara?” and the Skywalkers pierce thee Emperor and tosses him down the reactor shaft. Vanquishing him forever.

Anakin hugs his children and Luke tells Mara “you are finally free.”

They all escape the Death Star as it explodes

As they all reunite, Anakin and Padme embrace, while Han and Leia kiss and hug.

Mara tells Luke “I am free, Farmboy and I choose you” Mara kisses Luke

The Endor celebration happens only with the inclusion of Mara and we see the force ghosts of Mace, Obi-Wan, and Yoda looking on to see that all is well

#star wars #mace windu #anakin skywalker #au #obi wan kenobi #ahsoka tano #padme amidala #cad bane #boba fett #Emperor Sheev Palpatine #darth sidious

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thehollowprince · 5 years ago

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Okay. Another Endgame semi rant: You've sorta talked about this on your blog, but those Steve fans who like Steve's ending ( or least their trying to make the best out of it god bless 'em) and chastise other who didn't like Steve's for being salty shippers ( and that's a legitimate gripe- like no-one thought Stucky was going to be A THING, but we all hoped that their deep bond, which goes all the way to when they were like SIX- okay fine *9* would be honoured and respected) are clinging so 1/?

so hard to the idea that Steve created an alternate timeline, where he can do *anything*. Like rescuing Bucky and that timeline's Steve, and stopping Hydra from infiltrating SHIELD. When the intention of the Russos and the writers was quite clearly for him to retire and have life and not be a soldier anymore. (I swear the Russos said that before the backlash became overwhelming ) Like they put him back in the fight when the intention was for Steve to stop fighting, so they'll write passive 2/?

Passive aggressive asides - (sorry lost my train of thought) about how if we don't understand that it's a different timeline, and of course he's not just going to sit back or whatever- and it's like "GUYS. You ALMOST GET IT it's because the idea of Steve sitting back and doing nothing in the main timeline- and almost certainly not getting back in the fight in the alt timeline- because again, The Russos were like "LOL He & Peggy are going to make baby," before Joe was like "He can do anything" 3/

(Okay tumblr conked out so I don't know if you got my last ask) so as I was saying: "We just didn't want our favouite character to be destroyed?" (Well he was in my eyes at least) Anyway sorry for filling up you inbox with asks, I just, had enough of reading those posts and needed to vent you know?

____________________________________________________

Okay... sorry it took me so long to get to this but I wanted to make sure I was awake and ready to tackle the whole thing. These caught me at a bad time but now I'm all rested and ready to dig into the meat of it.

To start off with, I have never had an issue with people who liked (or tried to see the silver lining) in Steve's ending. We live in a very big world and it would be rather dull if everyone shared the same opinion on everything, but I wasn't aware of how big the divide was growing until almost a month after I saw the movie. I was upset at Steve's ending and I made a joke about it, and before you know it I have people that are making passive-aggressive posts or even calling you out for not being "a true Steve fan."

And I gotta say, seeing that made me immediately take a step back from the fandom. Like, woah! When did the pro-Steve side become the new Tony stans? Because that's exactly the mentality we were mocking and pointing out for years now, how Tony stans didn't care about anything else except their favorite character's happiness, even of it completely contradicted all of the canon that came before it.

But once I started seeing it, I started seeing it everywhere. Blogs that had been inactive for months started waking up and spreading this idea that you weren't a real fan if you didn't love the ending that Steve got. And while they've changed the way they phrase it, the idea persists. Now it's usually just something along the lines of "wow, look at the character they really like", which is usually pulled out if you try and mention Steve's relationship to Sam or Bucky or Wanda or whomever. And I k ow I've said this before, but that's part of the reason I loved the MCU version of Steve so much. He was more than just him. Steve was Steve because of those around him, how he related to them, how he helped them and how they believed in and followed him despite overwhelming odds. So to just cut all that off, despite that being one of the cornerstones of Steve's fandom and claim that people don't really like Steve unless it involves X character is super disingenuous.

To make matters worse is the actuality of Steve's ending. If you've accepted that Steve did that at the end of ENDGAME, then you have to try and wrap your head around the actuality of what happened. Did he open a new timeline or was he always Peggy's husband in this timeline? If he did open a new timeline, did he prevent a whole bunch of horrible things from happening or did he just sit back and relax and ignore it all? Did he awaken frozen Steve and have him do all the fighting or did he just let everything play out the way it did originally? No one knows because even the writers and directors, the idiots who came up with this idea, can't agree on what happened! It's a clusterfuck of a situation that only gets worse when you apply it to fandom.

I shouldn't have to dig into the whole Steve/Peggy situation, because I've done it before, but just for the sake of completion I'll mention again how nothing ever actually happened between Steve and Peggy aside from that one kiss. They could have been something epic but they missed their window and the fact that the four morons behind Steve's journey couldn't remember that is infuriating. The new thing now, of course, is to mock people who point that out by saying that "Steve and Peggy knew each other for years during the war and just because it's not shown doesn't mean it didn't happen", but them completely miss the irony in stating that something that we have no concrete proof of is canon. It's a godamn unsatisfactory bitch of a situation.

There was even one blog who came out of hibernation that accused me of being "fake woke" for mentioning the negative impact of having arguably the MCU's most political character played by one of their more vocal actors go back to the "good ol' days".

At the end of the day, would I have loved for Stucky to happen? Of course I would have! As has been stated multiple times now, I am severely underrepresented in the MCU and I latched onto anything that could be construed as representation in any capacity, but I also never expected it to happen. This is Disney! I just find it disheartening that our concerns and opinions are considered less then because we turn to these friendships and so on as to why Steve should have stayed, especially because he's one of the few male protagonists that is more than just his physicality but also his emotional connection to people.

I maintain, to this day, that Steve should have just retired in the modern world (or as he called it - Home), because not only would it have made sense for his character arc, but it would have opened up the doorway for a potential return for the next big Team-up movie. Just imagine Steve swooping in and saving Sam with a "Captain America needed my help" line.

When all's said and done, we all have our own opinions on that ending, and the MCU in general, and I've found that it's only a few that are diehard about supporting Steve's ending. I have several mutuals that liked Steve's ending even though I and others didn't, and I wouldn't get rid of them for anything.

#you've got mail #not my steve #not my steve rogers #steve rogers deserved better #anti endgame #anti endgame steggy #anti russo brothers #anti markus and mcfeely

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drjackandmissjo · 5 years ago

Text

firewhisky on ice, sunset and vine

you’ve ruined my life by not being mine

chapter 1 --- next chapter

Harry Potter fic masterlist

Set in the course of his Sixth Year, this story follows Slytherin's finest, Blaise Zabini, as he navigates classes and friendships and Death Eaters and a certain idiot plant-head Gryffindor.

Sixth year had started nicely: Blaise had been asked to join the Slug Club, and his mother had yet to find a new disposable rich husband and was leaving him the space to do whatever he wanted. Despite Draco's father being thrown in Azkaban and the sudden sulkiness of the blonde boy, the atmosphere wasn't much tenser than usual.

Sure, Draco probably was going to kill someone by the glares he gave and might have punched Saint Potter on the train, completely justifiable, and The Dark Lord had officially risen, sending everyone in a constant state of panic; but things were not that erratic, especially for a Slytherin Pureblood like him. The world was his oyster.

Which was why he was about to kick Pansy Parkinson off the Astronomy Tower.

They had agreed upon a seating chart that allowed all of them to maximize their brain capacities in order to gain as many House Points as possible. Since Draco was the Slytherin on top of every class, damned little miss perfect Granger and her habit of beating his friend up on the podium, the settlements revolved around the blonde and each individual strength. Pansy got Charms, her silver tongue finally useful on an academic level and not only on dark corners with older students; Theodore had Potions, his natural talent ready to expose himself in front of Slughorn, who had decided to keep him out of the little impromptu meeting on the train and to whom Theo had sworn vengeance; he would get Transfiguration, being the most skilled at changing various things in different states almost flawlessly and also due to the fact that he was the best behaved Slytherin. Amongst the members of Draco's Inner Circle anyway: Crabble and Goyle were bullies and lost causes, Millicent was as dull as a wall, Theo was too impulse, Draco was, well, Draco and Pansy was, for lack of a better word, a bucchinara. Only Blaise was polite and respectful and tried to keep his personal vendettas hidden and managed to deal with them without a fuzz, and that, plus his innate aptitude for Transfiguration, meant he went along with Professor McGonagall pretty smoothly.

Which meant that Transfiguration was his.

The other classes were not as important and therefore their seatings could be random, but for those they came prepared. Slytherin was going to win the House Cup that year, unless Draco revealed that he was already a marked Death Eater, which would've made them lose a shitton of points but nothing more. After all, no one had ever been expelled from Hogwarts during Dumbledore's Reign and Blaise was positive it would never happen.

But he was about to get his first detention of the year, possibly, if that bitch didn't move. That would have not been a great way to start, but deep down he was sure it would've been worth it. "Pansy, move your white ass off that chair at this instant" he said through gritted teeth, barely moving his lips and avoiding creasing his flawless smile. 'Rule number one' his mother had taught him, 'always appear kind and gentle and then stab them in the back and get them coins.'

"Why would I do that, Zabini? I'm comfortable here" claimed the annoying girl that was very close to getting hexed, leaning back with a lazy smile on her face.

Blaise had many great qualities, but he also had no room in his body for bullshit. 'Rule number two: never hit first but obliterate them after they start. And don't forget, never ruin a manicure.' He mentally counted to ten, trying to calm himself before he did something he might've regretted, "We agreed yesterday on this" he said, slowly losing his patience. He had very little disregard for those who didn't appreciate his careful planning.

Pansy gave him a poisonous smile, her bold red lips giving her extra points in the vicious department. "Change of plans, pretty boy" she said, voice saccharine and melodious that managed to hide perfectly her true nature.

'Rule number three' his mind recalled 'do not have witnesses nor explicit motif in case you do remove someone from this Earth'. That threw a wrench in his immediate future.

Breathing deeply inwards and closing his eyes, he imagined the petite girl being slowly entrapped in a Devil's Snare and painfully dying. It made him feel instantaneously better. When he opened his eyes again, unfortunately, one of his main causes of stress was still there, now joined by Draco, who took the golden medal in the 'giving Blaise headaches' category. His roommate was puzzled by the sight but decided not to complain and chose to poke holes into Saint Potter's head with his consistent stare.

Blaise wondered, not for the first time, what would've happened first, a make-out session in a broom closet between the Saviour of the Wizarding World and his friend, or a murder. Things would be less boring around Hogwarts if either event happened, even if the school was not boring to begin with.

One of the many topics he didn't agree on with Draco, especially this year, revolved around the blonde's complete annoyance to school life, despite maintaining stellar markings. Hogwarts was full of life and joy and unexpectedness.

Which was why Blaise didn't exactly want to start the year with a detention. "Very well" he said eventually, scanning the room for a proper desk to sit at. He would've avoided Gryffindors as if they carried the Plague, of course, but it seemed that the only empty chair was alongside one of them.

"Holy burning hell" he thought to himself, scolding his face into a bored and superior expression as he carefully watched Neville Fucking Longbottom casually reading his textbook with a Muggle pencil behind his ear. Blaise hadn't had all the time in the world back at the Hogwarts Express to see anyone other than his close friends, too much preoccupied to make a good first impression with Professor Slughorn to care about his fellow classmates, let alone someone as insignificant as 'Schlongbottom', as the other Slytherins called him.

"Boy oh boy, have I made a mistake!" his mind screamed.

He used to be lanky and chubby, but he must have definitely worked out during the summer, for he didn't look that way anymore. Under the shirt and vest, it was possible to see the beginning of some seriously well-kept muscles and, despite his slouched position, he an aura of confidence that he was missing the previous year. "Fighting Death Eaters in the Ministry surely left its mark, uh?" he wondered as he watched the Gryffindor move his head to talk to Weasley. There were so many of them that Blaise couldn't be bothered to keep notice of them all, but he recognized the one into his year as a general individual, blending the remaining white boys into a general identity.

He was almost immediately broken from his mind and brought to reality: "I wouldn't wanna be in your shoes" Draco snickered as he also noticed the only empty spot in the classroom, drawing also Pansy's attention to his misery. The witch gave him another vicious smile, before slowly and purposefully turning into her seat as Professor McGonagall entered the classroom. She had won that round, but Blaise was positive the unexpected outcome would see him victorious as well. 'Rule number fifteen, ogling a hot person is a great past time.'

Unbothered on the outside, he moved lazily towards the Gryffindor, noticing the surprise on the boy's face as he moved the chair next to him and took his place silently. Immediately he tensed, waiting for Blaise to attack him as his roommates had done many times, and it almost pained him to see all the confidence disappear under a cautious mask. But he had to give it to him, Longbottom didn't even flinch as he unceremoniously dumped his textbook and notebook on his side of the desk. He would've gotten a lot of dirty looks from his friends if he was somebody else carrying a Muggle object, but since he was Blaise Zabini no one said anything. After all, countless meters of parchment were as impractical as eating soup with a fork.

He also didn't miss the slightest nod of approval to ever been given him, directly from Professor McGonagall herself, before she began her first lecture of the sixth year.

And with that, they started.

***

Two hours later and with six pages of notes and the tiniest smidge of ink from a Muggle pen on his hands, 'I'll be damned if I have to write every day with a messy quill", the lecture was over. Professor McGonagall had done a brilliant job as usual, with her being the most competent, if not the only, teacher in the school, but one thing was absolutely clear as day to Blaise: the recently very attractive Gryffindor boy seated next to him was absolutely useless at Transfiguration. His grandfather would've used the word chiavica with a disapproving look at his way and forced him to sit and eat twelve different dishes, as if that would've made him improve.

The problem wasn't that he lacked the proper concentration and magical talent, but rather that he wasn't as passionate about the subject as Blaise was. The boy had also taken countless notes, writing them at the corners of his book in a minute calligraphy with his Muggle graphite, and he seemed to grasp the general concept, yet failed almost comically at properly producing the magic.

Needless to say, the Slytherin dreaded the day his favourite teacher would give them a project to be done in pairs.

Not a single word had been uttered between the two boys, as it should have been. They had no communal interests nor any shared group of acquaintances, even if they were both Purebloods. Their Houses were rivals, their roommates were arch-nemesis, and yet here they both were, seated in silence next to each other.

But there had been guarded glances from both sides, of that he was sure. He looked at the Gryffindor with fretted disinterest, desperately trying not to get caught staring at the hot guy next to him like a creep, while Longbottom looked occasionally back with something akin of fear and disdain. He wasn't really surprised by the reaction and couldn't really blame him. Blaise wasn't sure if his family had remained neutral or had been hurt at the hands of Death Eaters before Saint Potter saved everyone, but nevertheless, the Slytherin house suffered an image decline due to their notorious works. The House reputation was turbid and getting dirtier by the hour, with all the alumni tarnishing the good name of their former house with their debauchery. Of course, not all Slytherins were evil, but it was the fucking coincidence of the majority of those evildoers being Slytherins that gave way to all the hate.

"You're just giving into the stereotype" he had ranted at Draco on the train, after the blonde told him the news, "and yours is such a bloody shitton of bullshit l cannot tolerate anymore!"

And just like that, the class was over and students packed their bags to migrate into their next lecture. He had now a free period, as the majority of his friends took Divination for reasons unknown to him, and decided to make it count as much as possible by staying in the library before going to 6th year History of Magic.

After signalling a little goodbye to his housemates, he turned around to the pretty useless boy next to him to begrudgingly salute him as well and perhaps ask him to trade place with someone less inept at the subject, only to find said incredibly tall and gorgeous beefcake standing in all his height with a bag draped over his shoulder. Despite the sudden tough exterior, he had a kind and polite smile and a softness in his voice that Blaise would've never guessed. "Apparently we have to seat next to each other now" he said with a shy tone, and then immediately went to nervously bite his lips. Blaise was dumbfounded, unable to form words at the sight hovering over him. He definitely wasn't the lanky boy he remembered.

Unsettled by his lack of response and probably taking his silence as a sign of disgust, Longbottom let out a shaky laugh, trying to ease the tension. Bringing a hand up to scratch his neck. "Look, I get it if you want to switch" he began, looking down at his shoes, "but I don't think Professor McGonagall would let us."

That brought him back on Earth. He had not mistaken the look of approval the Professor had given him and he'd be damned if he ever let down the best teacher Hogwarts had ever seen over something so futile as a seating partner.

Also it didn't hurt that his deskmate was a bloody vision, incompetent maybe, but most definitely his type. And now more than ever he needed to know for which team this asshole beat for.

"Yeah, no. I know, it's fine or whatever" he stuttered nonchalantly, knowing that he sounded dismissal while on the inside he was a bubbling mess. Trying to regain his composure and to remember his reputation, he spat out with as little venom as possible, "I guess there could be worse of you lot to sit next to."

"Wrong. Fucking. Thing. To. Say. Genius" his mind yelled as he internally cringed at his choice of words while maintaining a disinterested exterior. He saw the exact moment Longbottom's face went from kind and polite to pissed off. In all the years they had spent at school together they had never really talked or acknowledged each other's existence, not as much as he had with members of the other two Houses, yet Longbottom would've never stroke him as the type of person that could get angry.

"That's cause you never spoke to him until now. Stop thinking with your dick" his brain fired as he rose from his seat and stood a few centimetres short of the Gryffindor. He had to admit that it was incredibly hard to stop thinking with his dick at the moment, but managed to maintain a neutral expression.

"Yeah, well. I guess so too" replied rather childishly the other boy, folding his arms over his chest and giving him what must've been his best glare. "I was trying to be polite, but I guess there is no way for a civilized conversation or partnership with you lot" he retorted, raising an eyebrow.

Now it was Blaise's turn to appear pissed and he mustered his worst killing glare, created by years of training, "Do not generalize me and I won't generalize you."

Longbottom was looking down at him, almost as if he was a puzzle that was not behaving. He supposed that from his perspective it was like that, since generally speaking they were supposed to hate each other's guts and here they were, one clearly trying not to lust for the other and the other apparently disapproving of the one's entire existence.

He eventually conceded, "Very well. See you around, Zabini." And with that Longbottom left, joining Thomas and that Fire Kid from his House.

Blaise was left alone, baffled and shocked, before he shook violently his head and left also the classroom and began walking in solitude towards the library.

This had the potential to become a great or a terrible year, and he supposed that the majority of the chances rested on the unexpected outcome of the Transfiguration class.

GLOSSARY:

'bucchinara' is a southern Italian word that means 'someone who gives blowjobs'

'chiavica' is a southern Italian word that means 'someone that really really sucks at something'

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vannminner · 5 years ago

Text

Where Magic Flows

A03

FanFiction

Part Three: In the Air (IX)

Debris swept up from the forest ground, and into Nokk’s face. He brayed, chuffing back at it. Nokk shook his head, continuing on, and pushed back against the harsh winds.

From her station on his back, Elsa shielded her eyes behind an open hand. Blown from the trees, twigs and leaves braced against her. They sliced at her dress. Dust blinded her vision as well as the Nokk’s. Over time, it had grown more impossible to see.

Yet, the two stumbled on.

High above their heads, a loud crack sounded. Elsa looked up as a large branch snapped from its trunk and came hurtling down to earth. With her heel dug into Nokk’s ribs, they leapt aside. The branch fell with force. It shattered at their feet, and Nokk cried out in fear.

Elsa soothed a soft hand over his neck. “I know, and I am sorry, but we must keep going!”

She didn’t know how much time either had left in them. They were out of breath, tired, and disoriented. Every attempt at fighting off Gale, only resulted in increasing her rage. Disgruntled, Elsa left her be. The wind continued its tirade, and Elsa drew mazes around her destruction.

It was still mid-day, however, Gale had pulled the sky thick with dark clouds. Light fought against dark, but in the end, the darkness maintained. And despite the lack of sun, the summer humidity held on. The thick air was difficult to breath in. Elsa found herself choking and straining her lungs. However, she couldn’t stop now.

Honeymaren was out here on her own. She didn’t have Nokk to help guide her way through the storm, and she didn’t have Elsa’s ice powers to fight back against the debris.

This notion consumed Elsa with guilt. If she hadn’t pushed Honeymaren to talk when she didn’t want to, Honeymaren would have been safe down in the ravine with the others. They both would have. Instead, Elsa was caught blinded and stumbling through the forest; once again, all because of her own foolishness.

The limited vision had Elsa relying on her instincts; both her’s and Nokk’s. She’d traveled across the fields, and down the Northern trails, until she could see no more. From there, Nokk had taken over. Elsa only hoped he would be able to locate Honeymaren amongst the storm, because she certainly could not. Her eyes had long since clouded with dust and dirt. She could see no more than a few feet in front of her.

With this, Elsa did notice when they wandered away from the trees. The pine and oak fell out of their mighty clusters. Debris settled from branches and leaves, into dirt and small pebbles. This had meant they were nearing the coast, and the sting of salty air was a welcomed change of pace.

Elsa rubbed deftly at her lids. Nokk slowed as he experienced the same discomfort. He growled in pain over the howling winds, and used his front legs to alleviate the strain. He crooned into himself. Elsa’s hands joined against his face. She knew they could no longer continue like this. She had to get them both to safety.

The two happened upon a collection of boulders. There was a gap between two of them, just large enough for Elsa two hide.

She leapt from Nokk’s back. She took his snout in her hands. “Go.” She encouraged him. “Back to the sea.”

But Nokk didn’t move. He nuzzled her nose further into her palms.

“You will be safe there.” she assured him. “And I will be safe here.”

Nokk’s eyes turned toward the north before coming back to Elsa’s. He brayed, long and deep. His head sank into a bow, and then he took off at a sprint.

No sooner than he had disappeared did Elsa crawl herself between the boulders. She tucked herself into a tight ball, and buried her face between her knees. Even with her ears covered, the wind continued to howl. It moved around the rocks with such force. Elsa knew Gale’s claws sought to leave marks against her skin.

There, between the rocks, she waited. Elsa reminded herself that Honeymaren would know to do the same. She was probably in the same position nearby. Honeymaren was smart. She knew the woods, and she would find a hollow tree or a ledge to tuck herself safely into.

Knowing this did not quiet her guilt, though. Elsa could not help but feel that by being forced to stop her search, she failed her friend. However, Elsa knew she had already done that. She failed Honeymaren the moment she questioned the legitimacy of her feelings. She understood that now.

It had her thinking- Yelena had been so confident Honeymaren would find her way back to the village. She had faith in her granddaughter’s strength and savviness to weather the storm on her own. Elsa wondered how one person could put their fear aside for the benefit of a community? In her own experience, Elsa had never been skilled at that. She had a long running history of making fear-based decisions, all for the sake of her sister; not that she regretted it.

Except, now her reasoning was flawed. Had what Honeymaren confessed to her caused Elsa to stray from the village? If she hadn’t learned of Honeymaren’s feelings for her, would she still be out here risking both of their lives?

Elsa knew her answer, and it surprised her more than she’d thought possible.

She would have sacrificed anything for Honeymaren, just as she would have done the same for her sister. Further reasoning was irrelevant.

Honeymaren was her friend, and no longer a new friend, but a best friend. She was even the first friend Elsa had made outside of her own bloodline or creation. They talked like family. They shared in conversations about their day; their interests, likes, and dislikes. The two bickered with each other. They teased and joked like siblings, but they weren’t siblings. They were friends, however, her friendship with Honeymaren proved much different than what Elsa had experience with Ryder or the other villagers.

What the two of them shared was simple. It was the ease of a good conversation, one that Elsa would find herself going out of her way to have. Their friendship was compatible; the excitement of sharing a walk or allowing Honeymaren to show her around to her favorite secrets of the forest.

When Honeymaren would check to see that Elsa had eaten before eating herself, and when Elsa would check in on Honeymaren before she would go to bed; this was a different kind of friendship. It was a partnership; a silent agreement, even.

Elsa didn’t know why it had taken her so long to figure this out for herself. Perhaps it was because the only friendship she had to compare it to, was the one she had with Anna. And if Elsa were being honest, she certainly wouldn’t have drawn the similarities and differences on her own. Had she not learned of Honeymaren’s feeling for her, Elsa might have continued on blind for the rest of her days.

That, or until Honeymaren made a new friend. Perhaps she’d meet a man or a woman, one whom she would want to marry. Elsa thought she might notice the differences then, when her friendship with Honeymaren was forced to change to order to accommodate her new relations.

The idea of that caused Elsa to feel uncomfortable. If Honeymaren moved on, and their friendship weakened; Elsa decided then that she would rather stay stuck between the rocks.

A life without Honeymaren’s constant teasing and bright-eyed intuition, wasn’t a life worth living at all. For nearly a year, Elsa had Honeymaren involved in each of her days. Not having her, or having her in some other capacity; that idea was terrifying. No sooner than she’d accept that, would Elsa allow the storm to swallow her whole.

The storm… The storm!

Elsa’s head snapped to attention. Her eyes drove wide.

The winds had calmed while she’d lost herself to her thoughts. Gale no longer terrorized the forest with her hurricane like force. Instead, Northuldra sat stagnant. Gale appeared to be heading west. The tops of the trees drew still as Gale traveled away from the forest.

“Another friend lost.” Elsa sighed, and pulled herself to stand.

She wiped her hands along the top of her gown. The fabric was littered with cuts and scratches, while dirt coated the white silky ice. Elsa slid from between the boulders, knowing she probably looked as healthy as her dress, and her eyes quickly drove wide.

Air caught in her throat. So much around her had changed in such a seemingly short amount of time. The Northern lands had crumbled. Tops of trees lopped off before their points. Branches and leaves carried long distances away from their homes. And despite the wind, which continued to travel away, the air was thick with dust.

Elsa forced herself to put worries about damage aside. There was little time to worry about what had been done, when instead she should be concerning herself with what could be done now.

Honeymaren was still out there somewhere, and Elsa needed to know that she was alright.

Allowing Nokk time to recover, Elsa took the next leg of her search by foot.

It was slower. That went without saying, however, it would allow Elsa to be more thorough. On foot, she would leave no rock nor fallen tree branch unturned. She would not stop; not until Honeymaren was back safe in the village.

“Honeymaren!” she called out.

Elsa’s blue eyes scanned the boulder-laiden cliffside.

There was only so much further Honeymaren could have gone before accidently reaching the sea. Decidedly, Elsa circled back toward the south, and hugged the estuary as a boundary line. From there, Elsa stood at the highest peak in all of Northuldra. She could see down across the valley, and through to the forest. If anything moved, Elsa would see it.

“Honeymaren!” she called again. Her feet had started slow, but her pleas were desperate.

Nothing but the waves below responded to her calls. Water lapped at the shore, and crawled over the rocks.

“Where did you go?” she worried.

Elsa’s brow pulled low. The skin against her forehead tightened, and her fists tensed at her side.

With the wind howling in her ears, Elsa hadn’t the headspace for anxious thoughts. She had been on autopilot as she stumbled through the enchanted northern lands. Yet now, the silence fueled her fears. Elsa’s mind conjured up dark thoughts about all the ways in which Honeymaren could have been hurt; all the directions in which Honeymaren would have run to get away from her.

In her panic, Elsa’s eyes scanned her surroundings erratically. She checked the depths of the ledge below, and double checked the shore. Elsa was approaching the falls when she coached herself into relaxing. A fully fledged anxiety attack would not help her now, and it would not help her find Honeymaren.

And so, Elsa continued on.

She tripped over branches and dislodged rocks. She stumbled through the outskirts of the forest, and alongside the river, driving south. There had been no sign of life, whatsoever. Not a deer, nor rabbit lay in sight. Not even the birds had yet to return to the sky. It was a haunting sight, but Elsa held her concerns at bay.

Still, she knew her solo rescue efforts were looking slim.

Feeling defeated and isolated, Elsa decided it was time to return to the village. There, she would be able to recruit the people into helping with her search. They could fan out better, come up with a plan, and locate Honeymaren faster as a group.

Or better yet, perhaps Elsa would get lucky and discover Honeymaren had already returned home.

I hope that’s the case. She thought.

With a plan in motion, Elsa took a confident step forward. She turned toward the village, hands braced against her stomach, just as a voice sounded in the distance.

Elsa froze on queue. She waited, listening again for whatever had startled her.

When nothing came, Elsa shrugged it off.

She took another step, and the voice surfaced once more.

At that, Elsa hurried blindly forward. Her feet caught against rocks and tattered debris. The far off whispers were leading her closer to the rock ledge, and had Elsa’s eyes scanning the fast moving river below.

“Help!”

Elsa heard the voice clearer this time. It channeled throughout the cliffs, and carried back out to sea. The voice traveled from beyond the falls, a little less than a quarter kilo from where she stood.

Newfound adrenaline coursed within Elsa’s blood. She stumbled into a run, and followed along the height of the cliffs.

“Honeymaren!” Elsa shouted as she neared the rolling hills.

Loud waves coursed below her. The wind littered the current with large branches and twigs, and the further Elsa ran, the faster the water churned.

“Help me!” She heard again, and this time from much closer by.

“Honeymaren!” Elsa hoped, though she did not know for certain.

Elsa held her breath.

“I’m down here!” The voice pleaded. “Please! I’m stuck between rocks!”

Where the ledge circled the bend in the river, Elsa stopped to peer out. The valley appeared as if a hurricane had surged through the narrow inlet, tearing the walls apart. Boulders ripped away from where they’d lodged in the cliff face. Now, rocks surfaced like small islands amongst the fast moving stream.

And there, caught between the river and a dismantled flood wall, was Honeymaren. She was looking up at Elsa as if she couldn’t believe she was there. With her body lodged beneath a shallow divot, only the top half of her was exposed. She waved to Elsa erratically with the only arm she could free, as the tide pooled up nearer toward the rock that held her trapped.

“Elsa?” she called to her.

“Don’t worry! I’m coming down!”

Stepping back, Elsa assessed her next move. She could slide in at Honeymaren’s side, but would risk further jostling the precariously fallen rocks. Instead, Elsa decided on her stair method. She could freeze the remaining rockface to the walls, while navigating down to Honeymaren.

Elsa felt her powers begin to surge beneath her skin. She stepped back. Her hands aimed at the wall. She fired at the ledge and a bright light emitted from her palms, but suddenly, it fizzled out into a small flurry.

Frowning, Elsa tried again. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and felt the magic alive within her.

Ice shot from her fingertips. It laced over the boulders, coating them quickly and with precision. In a burst of excitement, Elsa hurried down the embankment. She sailed over the rock ledge, using her powers with ease.

“Elsa!” Honeymaren sighed as she neared.

Elsa could see now how the two boulders had wedged Honeymaren against the floodwall. The rising tide held them into place, but had allowed Honeymaren enough space to free her upper half.

Elsa landed amongst the shore.

“I am going to get you out.” she promised.

Ice cascaded around the first boulder and tugged it from the tide. Elsa tossed it into the river, sending waves splashing amongst the current.

Water surged up Elsa’s feet and onto her calves. She didn’t care.

Elsa ran to Honeymaren’s side and took her arm over her shoulder. Elsa lifted her from the hole.

“Are you alright? Are you hurt?” She leaned Honeymaren against the wall.

Honeymaren briefly fell into her. Her nose pressed into Elsa’s neck, as she worked to calm her breathing. Honeymaren’s arms dragged from Elsa’s shoulder, and she pulled away.

Her hands shook erratically. “I- I think so. My head, I’d knocked it against something… Do I- do I look alright?”

Elsa came to stand at her back. Honeymaren’s long hair was tangled and disheveled by the wind. Brown curls had caked with dust and dirt, and her hat was now missing. Very gently, Elsa pulled the tie from Honeymaren’s braid. She brushed each strand clean from debris and set the loose hair against her back.

She sighed. “You have a good size bump back here, but no blood... We should get you back to the village.”

Honeymaren shook her head. “No. No, not yet, please…” she begged breathlessly. “I need- just give me a minute…”

“There’s no rush.” Elsa assured her. “Catch your breath.” She sat at Honeymaren’s feet.

Honeymaren gasped for air, and her hand caught against her chest. She had her wide brown eyes transfixed on the river across from them.

“I thought-” She stumbled. “I thought I was going to die… drown… The water kept coming and I couldn’t yell loud enough over the wind. I didn’t know who would come for me, or what had happened… I was so scared, and- how did you know?”

Honeymaren turned to Elsa.

“How did you know to look for me here?”

“I didn’t,” She held Honeymaren’s eyes as her lips tugged sheepishly to the side. “I searched for you everywhere I could think to. I- I didn’t want you out in the storm on your own. I’m so sorry I let you down…”

Frowning, Honeymaren’s head tilt. “You didn’t let me down, Elsa. You saved my life! You risked going out in the storm for me, and- thank you!”

“Don’t thank me.” Elsa told her. “It is my fault you were out here on your own in the first place.”

Honeymaren softly laughed. “Technically, it was my own foolishness that drove me out here, but whether it was guilt or genuine concern that led you to me; regardless, I am so thankful for you, Elsa.”

Elsa reeled in a sharp breath. “It wasn’t guilt, Honeymaren. I do care for you. You have to know that?”

Her cheeks stained red. Honeymaren turned away. “I know, I- I didn’t mean to, it’s just-”

Elsa placed her hand on Honeymaren’s knee, stalling her words. “Let’s… talk about this later, okay? We should get back to the village. Someone should see about that injury.”

Honeymaren seemed to be contemplating Elsa’s words. Her eyes had circled back slowly, and she stared.

“Okay.” she finally agreed. She struggled to pull herself to stand.

“Here,” Elsa quickly came in at her side, lifting Honeymaren to her feet. “Easy does it.” she encouraged.

Elsa took Honeymaren’s arm over her shoulder. She started them slowly, trekking them back toward her stairs of ice.

Honeymaren suddenly pulled them to a stop. Her head turned, face lingering close to Elsa’s.

“Is Gale gone?” she asked.

Elsa nodded. “I’m afraid so…”

Though saddened, Honeymaren moved to walk again. Her thoughts were elsewhere as they stumble back up the embankment.

“Elsa…” She whispered, halting them once more. “If Gale is gone, how will you communicate with Arendelle? The bridge between you and Anna has faded… Even if both sides still stand, the spirits have now made it harder for you both to cross…”

Cheers, (kinda)

-M.

#Where Magic Flows #Chapter 9 #My Writing #ElsaMaren #ElsaMaren FIc #Frozen 2 #Frozen 2 Fanfiction #Frozen #Frozen Fanfiction #Elsa #Honeymaren #Elsa x Honeymaren #Fanfiction #a03

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sometipsygnostalgic · 6 years ago

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Suicide and the Homestuck Epilogues

I don’t really want to make a super long post at this time. Turns out, I did so anyway! I don’t have too much to express on this topic that you might not have already figured out for yourself. But I feel like what there is to discuss about suicide in the epilogue is important, so it’ll do well to get this off my chest.

One of the most serious themes in the epilogue, explored THOROUGHLY in Candy, is about the Will to Live. The will to move on with your life and see the next day. This is disguised as a metaphysical battle with non-canonicity and irrelevance, but multiple characters in the epilogue have metaphorical and literal battles with their own hopelessness. Characters on the cliff-edge of suicide.

These depictions of the characters caused an extreme reaction in the fans reading the story. It can be incredibly distressing to read something from perspective of a suicidal character, especially if you’ve been fighting that battle yourself. However it can be therapeutic if you read a story about someone actually discovering a light at the end of the tunnel, no matter how dim. A fictional depiction that hits so hard, ending with a candle of hope, can flip a switch in your mind.

Let’s get into the nitty gritty of how Homestuck both failed and succeeded at giving a light at the end of the tunnel.

Skip to the end if you don’t want to read the whole thing - I’ve done a TL;DR.

So there are five characters I would like to touch upon:

Dirk Tavros (jr) John Terezi Dave

All of these characters warrant discussion in the context of hopefulness and hopelessness.

Dirk:

Dirk is the first character I want to get over with. Dirk’s an example of homestuck giving a hopeless ending to a character.

Despite Canon!Dirk’s struggles with his self worth, with the ideas that he’ll become a bad person, getting a nice enough resolution when he met Dave, epilogue!Dirk has lost that battle against himself due to means entirely out of his control. Because of how close the square root of Dirk is with “bad”, in the form of his prescratch self’s carelessnes and his offshoot connections to Doc Scratch, Dirk’s cursed with the inevitability of becoming that evil ultimate self no matter how hard he tries to be a good person.

Dirk is not entirely evil. He’s lost his humanity but still clings to some memory. I’m pretty sure he kills John??? But he wouldn’t kill Dave, and I don’t think - no matter what he does to him - that Dirk would ever kill jake.

Now, CANDY!Dirk. Candy!Dirk sees no point existing in a world where he cannot maintain canon relevance and seize the narrative. It would also be dangerous for him to continue existing in the world.

But the way Dirk’s friends see his suicide, the way this is played out in Candy if you’re isolated from his shenanigans in Meat, is a very significant depiction of people struggling with a friend who killed themselves.

There’s the critical failure from Meat in retroactively making this look like one of the best things Dirk could’ve done. Even if his friends led shitty lives, they led their own lives. But his friends in Candy don’t see it that way, and it wouldn’t be that way if Dirk didn’t become his ultself. As far as they believe. he maybe saw himself as a hopeless case and died.

Because of Dirk’s death Dave in particular is dealing with a lot of feelings. He’d known Dirk as a better version of his really nasty bro-dad. Because of Dirk’s death, Dave feels deprived of his friend and family member, he feels like if Dirk had been alive he’d have taught him about love.

I found this touching. Knowing how suicide impacts others can greatly affect a decision. Even Dirk, who was distant from all his friends and whose suicide protected them from his influence, ended up being missed for all the good things he could’ve given the world.

So, all in all: Dirk’s relationship with suicide is depressing. It was better depicted in the comic, which had a hopeful resolution. This epilogue shits all over that. There’s still some important messages however, in that Dirk being alive would’ve given everyone very different lives, some ways for the better, some ways for the worse. Dirk’s existence is not meaningless.

Talking of meaningless existence, let’s move on to....

Tavros:

Nope, not John yet. John’s going to take a lot of thinking. Let’s deal with baby Tavros.

Tavros is not a depiction of a suicidal character. He is however a key player in the “hopelessness” of the Candy timeline. John sees Tavros, and his father Jake, as in a hopeless situation. Tavros and Jake’s changing situation influence’s Johns thoughts on his timeline at the end.

Tavros is born into a world that is not canon, into one of the worst households imaginable where all the cards were held against him from the start. His name is fucking Tavros. That’s immediately dooming him to a life of being treaded on. Tavros lives with his mother, the domineering Jane Crocker, and her fuckclown, and while the other kids - Harry Anderson, Vriska - live spoilt happy childhoods, Tavros is never allowed to be a child expressing his individuality. What is his personality? It’s pretty much being a bit smart and doing exactly what he’s told.

Tavros reminds me of a more muted Gohan in the Dragonball Z universe, if Goku was a fragile human dweeb instead of a saiyan and ChiChi became Space Hitler. If Gohan never got those tastes of freedom when fighting against the Saiyans, then he’d have no capacity to stand up to his mother.

John fantasizes about helping him, and Tavros catches onto that fleeting fantasy, but it ends in disaster as Jade tries to reason with John that there’s no way he can keep Tavros safe, then John gets into a fit of rage and nearly injures him as well as all the other kids in the room. Tavros becomes scared of John.

There’s something here about John seeing himself in little Tavvy. They’re nothing alike personality wise, but Tavros is John’s full blooded brother, and what he might have become like had he been brought up in a dysfunctional home.

At the end of the story, after years of this treatment has led to Tavros becoming a very passive boy who has an obsession with faygo, Jake finally makes the decision to leave his wife and go live with John. Even though Tavros is 15 and his personality or lack thereof is mostly realised, he’s given this spark of hope that maybe he will develop a bit of individuality. After all, John sees him as one of the most important, devastating consequences of the timeline, and somebody that he must help out.

It is fitting that Tavros finds a record player at the end and put on some fun music, a self-expression of sorts.

Right okay, time to get into the meaty part.

John and Terezi

There are some parts of these characters that I want to write about in isolation, but their relationship is the major distinguisher between their internal battles and, say, Dirk’s internal battle. John and Terezi are examples of two suicidal characters who interact with each other. The interactions between them cannot be isolated from their suicidal subtext, because they influence each other’s outlook on the world and their futures.

I’m having difficulty, however, figuring out how to structure this part. There’s too much beef to get into if I’m going to discuss their histories. So let’s try to make it brief:

Terezi’s Context: Terezi has history as a character with suicidal subtext, especially in the Pre-Retcon universe. She was overwrought with guilt and grief, became alienated from her all friends, spent all of her time either in the dreambubbles looking for vriska or unhealthily warrowing in her orrows in her abusive relationship with Gamzee. She then goes on what appears to be a suicide attack against Gamzee, wanting him to fight back.... until he does, at which point she tries to break free, indicating a will to live in there somewhere. In the pre-retcon Terezi finds herself having both a “hopeless” and a “hopeful” resolution. She dies by her own knife, under Aranea’s influence - yes, Terezi stabbing herself with the other half of the cane sword is ironic on like 12 levels - but in watching everybody else die, ABSOLUTELY REFUSES to fade away. Terezi is filled with determination, and will not rest until she sees to it that John’s on his way to fix everything. After this though she backs into her depression again. One of these Terezis tries to use her powers and does not see the effect. Even though she must’ve known there’d be a timeline where the effect hasnt happened yet she loses all self esteem and tells John to go leave her to die. The other Terezi, in seeing John return, is filled with a glimmer of faith and sends John off to follow her instructions. I’m pretty sure the depressed didn’t die. The one who died in the chalk outline however walks sadly in paradox space, seemingly hopeless now her story’s ended, before reuniting with Vriska. POST retcon Terezi has a plethora of self esteem issues, many of which were exposed by the knowledge of the pre retcon existing. In the body of A6A6I5 she’s chasing the idea that the other her had “figured out” all those self esteem issues, which we know to be false, and Terezi cannot connect with others properly despite being so good at reading them. This lack of strong connections and lack of self esteem makes her feel a bit empty inside. After remembering the pre retcon then seeing the vision of herself and Vriska reunite, Terezi decides to chase after Vriska, refusing to let her die against Lord English. But because of Furthest Ring shenanigans, she can’t find her.

So Terezi ends Homestuck as a character with... not a whole lot of light in the tunnel, but there’s something there. That something takes the form of

1. The hope that she’ll find Vriska some day 2. Her friendship with John, a growing connection with somebody other than Vriska.

John Context:

You know what? There isn’t a fucking lot! John throughout the majority of homestuck, completely opposite to Terezi and pretty much every other character, has NO SUICIDAL SUBTEXT WHATSOEVER. Hooray, no 500 word expository essay! It’s not until the CREDITS where John looks miserable.

...John in the credits, now living on a peaceful new planet after focusing for 3 years on his sburb adventure, feels completely lost. Where his family and friends have met with the alternate versions of their parents, Dad Crocker isn’t actually John’s family, so that relationship doesn’t work as a surrogate for his lost dad. John doesn’t know why he feels so empty inside and depressed, when his friends are trying to make him so happy. But as soon as he starts recieving messages from Caliborn you get an indication that John WANTS conflict. He wants to serve a purpose. And the prologue of the epilogue (ha!) supports this.

He’s captivated by Rose’s discussion of “canon”. Since he’s tied to canon, he feels some responsibility for preserving it. But Rose and Roxy’s reactions imply that John is about to go on a suicide mission. John laments that he’s spent so much time being depressed when he could’ve been enjoying life instead. This implies here that John wasn’t suicidally depressed at this stage, and he starts to lament how he hasn’t put his life back on track.

So John, at this stage in the prologue, is a depiction of a hopeful AND hopeless character. However the hopelessness does not derive, yet, from any lack of will to live. It’s lamenting how he has so little time left. This lament is still related to the discussion of suicide. John thinking of how much he’d miss out on if he left the world and died. So, altogether, John in the prologue is someone who has a light in the tunnel that someone else might sniff out. But that light might still shine on some readers who relate.

CANDY:

This is Terezi’s chronological start, and the “meat” of John’s suicidal subtext.

As soon as John splits the world into Candy and decides to enjoy his life on Earth C, he begins trying to appreciate the world and get a taste of all the things that he thought he was going to lose out on had the suicide mission started. However, things seem “off” to him. He thinks Roxy is not in-character, Jade’s fucked up Davekat, Jane’s becoming a nazi, GAMZEE’S HERE which is an IMMEDIATE red flag, and everything is starting to go off the rails. John wonders if this is all his fault. He sees everyone on earth C as not being themselves, as being almost like “NPCs”. They don’t have the same reactions to stuff as him. They don’t have the same feelings. Except for ONE person - Terezi, who is isolated from all these shenanigans and is the perfect venting post, giving John grounded feedback that he agrees with based on his previous knowledge of the kids. This is not yet an interaction between two obviously suicidally depressed characters, but the idea of the world being “fabricated” and people acting “fake” is already here, and THIS is something a lot of people who have struggled with depression may be troubled by. The fuel to John’s theory is his position in an actual fictional world where the events are not canon, but even so, it’s still something real people go through.

I think it’s worth pointing out that John and TZ are going off completely different time scales, emphasizing the disassociation they have with the timeline. John only feels grounded while talking to Terezi, who is stuck in the past. Terezi is seeing her friends grow up into crazy-ass adults without her.

John’s depression escalates dramatically when he has a go at everyone on his son’s birthday party and nearly hurts the kids, then he felt like everybody hated him. This scene was powerful, but was also just like something out of a DBZ fic I read where everyone forgot Gohan’s birthday, he upset baby Goten (the only person who he felt unconditionally loved by), and then he goes to blow himself up somewhere. Yes, THAT scale of melodrama. And John wants to float up into space, to leave the earth, maybe freeze up there. He is now suicidally depressed. He feels awful. It’s only going to get worse for the time being.

After that point John turns to Terezi again and we find out she’s the same fucking way. Her journey to find Vriska, which looked to us at first to be cautiously optimistic. is a bit of a suicide mission itself. She does not intend to come back if she can’t complete the mission, even to pick up new supplies. Terezi is starving to death but she refused to return because she sees Earth C as a false paradise, a fake recreation of Alterna where everything is a bit too perfect and the people are too happy and she feels lost when she left the only route to happiness she can see behind in Sburb. Turns out Remem8er didn’t so much give her a new perspective as it doubled the dependency she had on Vriska.

John and Terezi connect with each other because of how they both see themselves as empty, and Earth C as empty, and John tries to appeal to Terezi’s need for friendship. He tries to get her to see the light side of living. But because he has hard time seeing it, he can’t express it. He tries to help her get over vriska, by saying she deserves better companionship. This DOES plant a seed in Terezi’s mind, the idea that she’s wasted her life looking for someone who has been a shitlord to her.

To an extent, they have been enabling each other’s depression. Seeing each other as the only “real” characters and discussing that idea, John going into how he thinks “everybody is already dead”, Terezi confirming other characters are acting strange and expressing how she hates the new world so much she’d rather die than return empty-handed, they’re lighting the fire to their own negativity. John’s in panic mode about losing the one outlet he has. And if anything’s made Terezi feel alienated from Earth it’s seeing how it is turning out.... But there’s not a lot John can do about this, because yknow, she feels the same way in Meat.

This interaction between two suicidal characters has a positive and negative representation of dealing with those thoughts. John’s begging Terezi to come back and forget about Vriska, which is a good thing, but Terezi’s too stubborn. She won’t budge. John has to traumatically read what may as well be her suicide message to him, further cementing his own issues. Bear in mind - because of her predicament, he has has been sidetracked from talking to her about his argument, and probably thinks he’s been a moron for venting to her about all of this while she’s been slowly dying in space. Altogether I’d say this conversation veers towards absolute hopelessness, at least for those who have read Candy first and haven’t been spoiled on what happens to Terezi next.

The next scene’s also retroactively hilarious, but that doesn’t stop it from being powerfully depressive. John find the car with her “”””””blood”””””” and freaks out.

In losing Terezi, who he saw as his one outlet to canon, John loses all of his composure. He is completely incapable of holding himself together any more.

Remember that DBZ fic I mentioned earlier where Gohan runs off and blows himself up with a suicidal tantrum? Yeah. It was a lot like this, but with rocks flying everywhere.

John at this stage is at rock fucking bottom. He’s completely hopeless.

Then 10 years pass. He’s been so depressed his wife and kid have left him. But... he’s still around. Dave at one point thinks John’s going to kill himself, directly addressing this subtext, but John was actually talking to Karkat. Karkat’s position as a revolutionary leader, Dave’s caring for him, and John’s presence at Jade’s wedding to Dave despite having thrown a mega-tantrum that made him think they’d hate him forever, all of these things are........ starting to contradict John’s idea that the world is full of empty heartless people who don’t feel things. John has not been rejected by everybody.

He accepts Terezi’s gone, and rips her picture into tiny pieces, letting them drift in the wind. This is the start of John’s progress away from his suicidal depression.

He bumps into Vriska, has a go at her about Terezi, then Vriska does.. THAT with Gamzee. Gamzee’s death does restore some peace in the hearts of the viewers, at least. Not entirely relevant but I felt it was positive. John’s been calling Vriska Jr shitty for all this time too, but she and Harry are alright characters who feel real enough to us as the reader. It’s now that we may be starting to question whether he was correct in writing off the world as his own bad fanfic. We’re questioning whether John is justified in hating Candyland as much as he does. If people care for him, if Karkat’s going to become Jesus, and if it birthed these two losers, then... is it so terrible? Maybe there’s hope?

He bumps into Rose who thanks him for everything he’s done. Rose is SO IMPORTANT here because she was the one who planted the idea he was in a fake world to begin with, and now she’s telling him even though it’s not canon, she feels happier than ever COULD in the canon world. John’s wishy washy on this. When he talks to Rose he feels optimistic, but when he gets back to his house, he’s thinking about how she just confirmed nothing matters at all.

At his house, he has a couple of surprise intruders. Turns out Jake discovered free will. John has some real talk with him. And while he’s at first negative, Jake’s infectious mood and the opportunity to give Tavros the life he deserves gives John that little push of motivation he needs to go speak to Roxy.

His chat with Roxy is the climax of Candy!John’s arc. She gives us, for the first time, a third-person perspective of depressed John. We see him how she sees him, a sad little man who appears to be blaming outside forces for problems that he isn’t willing to confront himself.

She TEARS DOWN his perception that the world is fake. She explains why she may have seemed fake and why he was a fucking fool for thinking so. She says she doesn’t CARE whether it’s canon or not, because she knows a bit of how it would’ve gone down, and it would not have been good for John or Rose. Roxy throws a great big surprise on us as the reader - she’s been dealing with gender dysphoria the whole time and overcompensating for it! Holy fuck!!! Our minds have just been blown!!!!

So the audience, and John, who have for this whole time been feeding into this depressing idea that the world is fake and it’s probably better for John to be dead than in this fake life, that everything is terrible.... Roxy’s rant makes us do one of the most amazing double-takes I’ve seen a story throw.

John..... sees light for the first time in years. He decides to take the step to work on his relationship with his family.

And then it ends.

All of this - Rose, the wedding, the kids, Jake and Tavros, Roxy - The way these make us revise our perspective on John’s depression is one of the most hopeful representations I have ever seen in media. An AMAZING turnaround for a suicidal character. They made us hyper-invested in all the bad things John’s feeling, taking advantage of our awareness he’s correct in thinking it’s fake. Taking advantage of all the nasty thought that may have crossed in our minds about the world not being real, about people acting not real, the little cells we build ourselves into...... and opening the door to a wide world with people who have had a lot going on that we’ve been blinding ourselves to.

Roxy going into how we have our whole lives ahead of us and countless years to fuck up, to discover new things, breaking down how John and Terezi think that because they hadn’t figured things out as young people they were never going to be happy....

Candy!John is an overwhelming success. Fucking KUDOS to the writers for this representation. But to get there, you have to slog through the entire thing. And there is a risk that maybe you relate to his depression, but not to how he saw through his depression. That would be for yourself to confront. For me personally, I honestly feel that this has given me a refreshing outlook. It makes me so happy to be writing about John’s turnaround after all of this analysis of his depression.

...Okay, fun’s over. Now to the depressing ending. The point where the epilogue kind of fucked up.

MEAT:

It’d be unfair for me to make you read through this with the bias that Meat is an entirely depressing resolution for two characters struggling with suicidal depression. There’s much that Meat gets right with John and Terezi. I think, however, it trips at the finish line. But how badly it tripped depends on whether you think the comic falls into the trap of suicidal depression, or just about subverts it

Let’s get into it!

John for the start of Meat is contemplating how he’s just launched himself into a bit of a suicide mission. Roxy and Calliope walk away without giving him a hug, which is... upsetting. Not sure why, if they knew he was going to die??? Legitimately makes me angry that this happened. But going back to the point - John is isolated in his fate. He does not have any friends he knows to back him up. He’s leaving the fake fake Earth C for good. John leaves notes behind for his friends. These will never be read.

Ouch. Off to a rough start already. This has the makings of an angst fic by itself.

When he’s fighting Lord English with all these other versions of his friends, he’s actually having a bit of fun. But all his friends die and you get the impression he’s very very doomed. And he gets bitten by the tooth, etc. Oh and Davepeta performs a suicide attack! Holy fuck, forgot about that! But there’s no suicidal subtext, Davepeta’s just being a martyr, so nothing interesting to dissect here.

AFTER the fight with Lord English: John just floats in space. He’s seemingly hopeless. He does not take any action to help himself, having sensed he’s got nothing to back to. But PART of this is the influence of Dirk Strider, planting thoughts in his head. Dirk wants John to stay there, until he finds Terezi. But John does challenge the depressing thoughts Dirk’s putting into his head:

Dirk’s relationship with John and Terezi’s depression has increased importance in the end chapters, but for now, it looks like he’s trying to get them to reunite. Is Dirk actually feeding their emotional dependence on each other? Even though we know they still have that dependence isolated from his influence, I get the impression he’s trying to make things unhealthy.

Either way, John has no willpower to go ANYWHERE until he finds her. John for these two chapters is drifting aimlessly, hopelessly. He’s signing himself off for martyr death.

Terezi finding John has equal meaning - she was willing to die until she bumped into him.

A mixed interpretation so far of the suicidal depression. They were both waiting to die, but the way John was going to die was so abstract that it doesn’t feel as impactful as when he was depressed in Candyland. I think this would’ve had a weaker impact on the viewership. But the moment he finds Terezi, it becomes a hopeful interpretation, and remains that way for the next few chapters.

On Meat 28 and Meat 31, they spend these chapters dealing with their suicidal depression, in particularly Terezi’s. She’s directly confronting all of those emotions, with a person she cares about that she thought she’d never see again. Terezi is still incapable of letting go. She’s still starving to death out here and refuses to return, but... she doesn’t want John to leave either. She wants him to stay. Terezi is being very foolish here, and it’s unknown how much the decision to stay escalated John’s death. It’s notable that John would rather stay here with her than go back to Earth for backup or healing, or drag her back kicking and screaming.

They’re still on the edge. They’re at what we assume to be their low point and don’t think anything matters, and they have little self preservation... but because they care about each other, John gets motivation to go back to Earth with Terezi, and she becomes concerned about his failing health.

John continues trying to get through to Terezi and convince her to go back. The below conversations takes place:

John sees hope in Terezi, because she gave him hope when he thought nothing could get worse. He values the hardass attitude she brings to the table, kicking everybody else back into gear. John thinks several times through the epilogue that if Terezi was on Earth, she would’ve stopped everyone from falling apart.

I think this is relevant because the scene in GAME OVER itself is an example of the characters finding shining hope and determination even when the narrative forces have taken a hard dump on them. It’s an important reminder here when John and Terezi are deciding whether they want to live or not.

And here’s my favourite part of the entire conversation:

John has now given TWO examples of Terezi fighting on when she just wanted to give up. And the relationship this has with the reader is Terezi’s acts of self preservation are indicators that maybe she does want to live? If she wanted to die, why would she eat fucking shaving cream--- okay maybe yes most people who want to die would try that, but in this situation she’s crazy and thinks it tastes like cream.

Because John’s giving Terezi reasons to live, she gives him an opportunity to live by performing some haphazard surgery and removing the tooth embedded in his body.

Following this, they realise their connection to each other, and consummate their relationship... in the back of his dads car.

Hooray, you cry! Terezi and John have found reasons to live - they care about each other, and as each wants the other to live, they want to survive so as not to disappoint. They’re able to connect with each other in ways they can’t connect with other characters.

AT THIS STAGE, this has an... optimistic outlook. Terezi letting go of Vriska is very very important. But you might be noticing she’s latching onto John. If it was left like this, and they went back to earth and fell in love or whatever, it might have been a happy enough resolution for two depressed characters. Not as RAW as Candy!John, but Terezi’s been through enough already that it might have been as impactful. And John’s finally getting what he wanted all throughout Candy. Cliche... but happy days. If they could’ve overcome their depression it, would’ve been fine.

.....

And then Meat 35 happens.

Soon as Dirk takes the narrative back he decides to start killing John with LE poison inside his body. John fucking dies in the middle of a love confession.

Oof!!! Well there goes any hope for John’s depression arc. But at least he was happy and canon when he died. It wasn’t as deep as Candy’s anyway, and we were expecting it. John’s death does NOT feel like a suicide, because he wants to live. So Meat!John is a mixed result for a suicidally depressed character; someone who was suicidal, but then found the will to live, and then had his life tragically taken from him.

Terezi though, Terezi who I wrote a 500 word paragraph INTRODUCING the context of her suicidal depression story, is now left with absolutely nothing. Because she had done a rebound away from dependency on Vriska, and now latched onto John, Terezi doesn’t know what she’s doing on earth. Her perspective hasn’t changed and she still thinks it’s very fake. She feels like all of her friends are embroiled in social dynamics and petty fights that exclude her. She feels like she can’t confide in anyone about the traumatic shit that she’s been through, including John’s death.

At least, that is how Dirk wants her to feel.

Terezi has a history of challenging the narrative. She rewrote the timeline with the retcons, but before then, Terezi’s spoken to people who have tried to write narrative prompts in her head. In this act of defiance, Terezi calls out Dirk for being full of shit when he tries to go into how depressed she’s feeling.

This challenge, though weak because we know Dirk’s right on the money, ends up turning this confrontation from a fully depressing one into dark comedy, not ENTIRELY unlike the scene in Candy where John’s crying over her... stains. Because Homestuck is dealing with a hopeless case, it can’t just END it like that. Terezi, despite feeling that way, refuses to allow herself to be seen as completely hopeless and gets mad at the author for reading into her like that. This is getting metatextual but the self-awareness in this conversation is an important reminder to the reader that this ultimately a story, and maybe Terezi isn’t as hopeless as Dirk’s making her out to be.

Of course, Dirk tells her that she can put an act on her whole life, and never be happy. Terezi... agrees with him, insofar as we know. Despite her challenge, she gives up on living with the Earth kids, joining the villain to create a new sburb session.

Terezi’s conversation with Roxy was dysmally depressing. However, Roxy was thinking about her and trying to get through to her. Roxy seeing through Terezi’s feelings makes me think if she’d stayed on Earth, they would’ve become friends of some kind? That would’ve been a light at the end of the tunnel. If Terezi had showed Roxy that John had died, that’d have been a massive step. But Terezi chooses isolation, leaving the planet for a new, more canonically relevant adventure.

This scene does make it seem utterly hopeless for Terezi, especially when Callie says later that while John may theoretically be revived, he will never be relevant again. So while Terezi continues to be relevant, she’ll be isolated from the TWO people she cares about most.

...There’s a flicker of hope there though. If you read Candy, there’s a scene where Vriska tries to send Terezi a sort of apology love confession. And we see Terezi recieving the messages for this!!!! But, she doesn’t read them onscreen. We don’t SEE her become aware that Vriska’s alive. And “seeing” is important. Terezi in the Epilogue is also doing some goofy shit. While life on the Dirkship is probably depressing as fuck, she’s trying to eat Metal Candy for shits and giggle despite Rose challenging her. Terezi’s personality defiantly shines through, when John dies, when Dirk wants to make her grovel, and when she’s on a ship with Robot Rose. The comic can take everything from her, but it can’t take away her goofiness. Terezi continues to live in defiance of the comic.

BACK TO HOW THIS RELATES TO DEPRESSIVE SUICIDE, How do I rate Terezi’s arc? Both in the epilogue, and across homestuck?

I get the impression the reason other characters have been able to move on from this stuff while Terezi gets dragged back into hopelessness is because of meta reasons. She’s the dark comedy, and one of the most continuously relevant characters. If things calmed down for her maybe she would be a less interesting or funny character. She’s cursed by her own relevance. Like Vriska, and John! Except instead of dying or being sucked into a new world she just continues being a bitter protagonist. But.... what Terezi’s story brings to the discussion on suicidal depression is hopelessness. The sparks of hope and self awareness presented at the end are good to remind the reader this is just a silly story, but there’s not too much light for her at any stage. Getting continuously trodden down, throwing away her own chances of happiness. Not being able to get over anything. Therefore, Homestuck fails to bring a light at the end of the tunnel for Terezi Pyrope, even after all of these years of going into this theme. Even if she has hope from Vriska, there’s the issue that she’s chasing after John like she was chasing after Vriska. Terezi’s fallen into the trap of being a character who goes around in circles with her depression arc. If you were personally invested in her getting better, you might be hurt by her presentation. The story tries to mitigate this by giving Terezi enough self awareness to poke fun at her own situation, and stop it from feeling too much like a melodramatic dragonball z angstfic like John’s. After all, Terezi would rather be tragicomic than plain tragic.

Holy fuck, this is long!!!!!! Thanks Terezi!

DAVE:

To cap off this post I wanted to do a character that did not have a direct depiction of depressive suicide, but still related back to suicidal themes and did, ultimately, kind of kill himself. Dave in the Candy timeline.

Dave goes through a lot of shit in his timeline. He’s in a terribad relationship with Jade at the start, and all of his attempts to seek advice on his own sexuality are met with opposition by... fate itself. John’s not very useful. Dirk KILLS himself.

Things go from bad to worse for Dave. He loses Karkat for good, when Karkat gets outraged at everyone for letting Jane’s bullshit slide.

Dave... does not appear suicidally depressed following this. But he is a very repressed man. And years in the future when Obama comes to offer him the choice of accepting his ultimate self form, leaving EVERYTHING behind? He takes it without a second thought. Dave is so miserable that he doesn’t give a fuck if he does, because he gets to become an awesome robot with awesome powers and memories. In the Meat! postscript, he abandons the Candy!planet to go fight the relevant fight in the new session Dirks’ overtaking.

Because of how detached this suicide is from the suicidal depictions of Dirk, John, and Terezi, it’s not easy to analyse. But I think that this would count as a mixed representation. JUST like Terezi, Dave has given up on his new world and decided to go run away for adventures elsewhere. JUST like Dirk, Dave’s let go of his individuality. UNLIKE both of them, he’s with the good guys, he has enough individuality to still be himself, he has ALLLLLLLL of the self confidence... for now, and he is already making new friends.

Unfortunately because most people IRL can’t merge their minds with epic robots, things for regular ol Candy Dave appear to have been so awful he gave it all up just like that for Obama. If it wasn’t so absurd, it would probably be depressing, and I think a lot of Dave fans who read a more depressed interpretation of his character might see this as a failure on the part of Hussie to depict light at the end of the tunnel.

Now we’re at the end of this stupidly long essay, let’s do a TL;DR:

DIRK: Hopeless depiction of character dealing with suicidal depression, when their depiction was previously more hopeful

CANDY!JOHN: Excellent representation of character overcoming suicidal depression, best in the comic by far

MEAT!JOHNL: Weak representation of character dealing with suicidal depression

TEREZI: Semi hopeless representation of character dealing with suicidal depression

CANDY!DAVE: WH4T

TAVROS: Not depressed, but symbolic of Candy’s hopeful outlook

EPILOGUE

Oh, sorry, I mean “Conclusion”. Except we can’t really call it that either. Oh you meant the ESSAY? Okay!!! Right.

The epilogue’s depiction of sucidial depression is mostly upsetting. It’s negative, with a not very hopeful outlook.

But what bits of there ARE end up being very powerful, in particular Candy!John who is the focus of this theme.

However, Terezi - the COMIC’s focus character for sucidal depression - does not get a good enough deal at the end to be seen as having much hope. The story tries to mitigate this with self awareness that it is, in fact, a story.

It does this MORE with Dirk, and Dave too. Dirk is hyper aware of his status as a fictional character. Although he kills himself, it’s not much of a suicide when he’s doing it to consolidate his influence elsewhere.

But Dirk’s depiction as a supervillain shits on a previous arc he had, where he thought he’d be better off dead than alive because he might become bad one day. Dirk was getting over this. Then the epilogue makes it look like Dirk would’ve been better off dead!!! He lost all of his individuality.

So, Dirk is the most critical failure of this theme. Terezi is a big failure but as always she’d be salvagable if there was more content. Candy!John is an overwhelming success. Tavros is a part of John’s success. Dave is in a weird place. I’d call him a failure though.

The lesson to be learnt here is that.... even though the end did some GREAT things, like Candy!John, it’s advisable to distance yourself from relating too hard to characters going through suicidal depression. If they are like Dirk or Terezi you might be feeling depressed yourself at the end.

It’s not up to the author to live up to the reader’s vision of how something should end. In this case Hussie gave hopeless endings to characters. But if you’re consuming media responsibly, you make sure you are not too sensitive to negative depictions like this, which while relatable are still the fictional musings of some dude.

It’s not fair to ask Hussie to give everyone a happy ending, if that’s not his artistic vision. We can criticise it artistically all we want, but we can’t call it unethical, not unless he’s deliberately aiming to hurt people. And despite everything, I don’t think he ever has been.

What do you think? Do you believe the epilogue team wrote a good representation of characters coming to terms with depressive suicide, or suicidal tendencies?

#homestuck #dirk strider #dave strider #terezi pyrope #john egbert #johnrezi #suicide cw

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howtohero · 4 years ago

Text

#286 Secret Agents

There are people who live lives of danger, and to everybody they meet, they remain a stranger. They lay down no roots, they can vanish without a trace, and they’d much rather make contacts than friends. If they don’t want to be seen, they usually aren’t. If they don’t want to share, they definitely won’t. They’re secret agents, and they hate that they keep running into you.

The truth is, superheroes run into secret agents quite frequently. And usually, it’s the same ones. Secret agencies can only spare so many agents to infiltrate supervillain organizations or to liaison with superhero organizations on behalf of their governments. So you should get used to running into the same secret agent ever so often. And hey, if you’re gonna keep bumping into somebody, even if its in a professional capacity, I say you may as well just be friends with them. (We’ve had a bunch of mutant alligators living in our basement for years and you’ve never shown any desire to befriend them so I don’t know where this philosophy is all of a sudden coming from.) Unfortunately, they’re not going to have any desire to be friends with you. Secret agents and superheroes are very much of two different worlds. Secret agents are used to espionage, sabotage and décolletage. They’re used to drinking martinis and wearing tuxedos and driving souped up sports cars. It’s all very glamorous and exciting. You, on the other hand, fought a 70 foot tall poop monster yesterday and posted a picture of it on Snaphat (the superhero social networking site developed and funded by Hatman) with the caption “$#!+ Happens LOL 😂💩” so I don’t think its an understatement to say that you come from two very different worlds.

You may be wondering at this point: Why would you run into the same secret agent multiple times while fighting different villains? How could the same covert operative infiltrate different supervillain organizations without any of the bad guys getting suspicious? Thanks for asking, that’s a great question. You see, secret agents can get away with this for two very simple reasons: 1. Supervillains do not talk to one another. 2. Supervillains don’t pay attention to their henchmen. Ever. They have no idea who works in their organization. So it’s not at all difficult for the various secret agencies of the world to place agents in these evil organizations to glean intelligence or cripple criminal operations around the world.

It’s important for you to know who these agents are though, because you don’t want to accidentally beat up a government agent while fighting bad guys. That’s going to sour your already fraught relationship with the government. Already they’re side-eyeing you, half-expecting you to snap and level a city one day. So you really don’t want to give them any further reason to distrust you or keep tabs on you. So you need to look for the telltale signs that a henchman is actually a super cool secret agent:

They’re constantly muttering into their cufflinks or watches. Honestly, the fact that they’re even wearing cufflinks should have been a giveaway. Henchmen jumpsuits don’t generally need those. Ditto for the watch. Most supervillains don’t let their henchmen use any timepiece they didn’t invent. And supervillain manufactured timepieces tend to not right. (For evil reasons, I shouldn’t need to spell everything out for you.)

They’re very clearly just an animal wearing a fedora. Most supervillains could only dream of getting a neat fedora wearing animal on their staff. Odds are they’re a secret agent.

They’re only pretending to feed incriminating files into the shredder when you burst through the doors.

They keep shouting about “needing an extraction”. Henchmen don’t have outside contacts waiting to extract them when things go south. Their only professional contact is a little busy monologuing and engaging in a pool-noodle joust with you.

They introduce themselves as “Man. Hench, Man”.

Once you’ve identified a probable secret agent find some way to, very gently and discretely, introduce yourself. Make it clear that you have no intention of blowing their cover and that you just want to establish open lines of communication with them. Most likely they’ll pretend they have no idea what you’re talking about. If they’re especially good at their job they’ll take the opportunity to knee you in the groin so they look good in front of the bad guy they’re spying on. Don’t be discouraged. This is the start of a beautiful friendship. (You should no that any time somebody rebuffs your attempts at friendship it’s most likely because they’re trying to maintain some sort of top secret cover. It’s nothing personal. It has nothing to do with the weird banana musk you have. Don’t even worry about it.)

While courting a secret agent, don’t be alarmed if they get increasingly frustrated with you. Remember, they’d much rather pretend you and your ilk didn’t exist. (Your ilk including but not limited to: The foulmouthed armoire they had to run surveillance on for seven months, the giant lizard that ran roughshod across Philadelphia while they were visiting their parents, the space-zebra that haunts their dreams, and the assorted brightly clad superheroes that keep almost BLOWING THEIR COVER!) So it may take a while for them to warm up to you. This can be frustrating but still, don’t lost hope, and certainly don’t attempt to speed the process up and gain their trust by initiating some kind of information exchange where you tell them some secret stuff about you in the hopes that they open up to you. They’ll never tell you any of their secrets. That’s their entire thing. Conversely, they will tell all of your secrets to their bosses. That is also their entire thing. Plus, they definitely already know your secret identity already, so don’t bother wasting their time by trying to trade with that information. Also, do not touch their sunglasses. They really hate it when you do that. Like for real they might shoot you. (Yes, we know you’re bulletproof, but the bullet might bounce off your chest into them {and then off of their bulletproof vest and then off of your bulletproof chest and then off of their bulletproof vest and off of your bulletproof chest until eventually their vest gives way} killing them instantly. And that’s no way to make a lifelong friend.)

Instead make it clear to them that you’re on the same side, and that you could help each other out. They can feed you information about the villains they’re spying on. Information that could help you save lives (or win online auctions the villain really wanted to win just to spite them) and make the world a better place. And you in turn can reinforce their cover by pretending to beat them up when you raid the bad guy’s base. I mean come on, if you’re deep undercover in a (sometimes literal) hive of villainy (Imagine a super gruff secret agent wearing a silly bee costume with their sunglasses. Hilarious) it could be useful to have a superpowered paragon of good out there who knows who you and where you are in case your cover gets blown.

Superheros and superspies might come from completely different worlds, but that doesn’t mean they don’t have to what to offer one another. At the end of the day you both want to protect your country from crime and villainy, so you may as well get along! But seriously, don’t touch their sunglasses.

#superhero #superheroes #comics #comedy #humor #funny #secret agents #secret agent man #spies #undercover #Hatman #poop monster #Snaphat #Perry the Platypus #James Bond #Man. Hench Man

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quarterfromcanon · 5 years ago

Note

27-29 for the get to know my favorites game

Hello, lovely! Thank you for these. :) Trios turned out to be a surprising challenge (I apparently have more favorite groups of four than three), but I’m pretty happy with the ones I remembered after giving it some thought. The final picks are under the cut! <3

Top 5 BROTPs

1. Paula Proctor & Rebecca Bunch (Crazy Ex-Girlfriend) - Naturally, this was the immediate choice that sprang to mind. It’s the first relationship on the show I really fell in love with, and it’s the one friendship in the series that consistently tugs on my heartstrings. It’s flawed, complicated, and messy but the genuine connection underneath it all is strong enough that I’m hopeful they can work through their problems. I would’ve preferred to see more emphasis on that effort in the fourth season (and a lot more work on Rebecca’s friendships with Heather and Valencia as well), but I want to believe things improved between them after the finale.

2. Steve Harrington & Robin Buckley (Stranger Things) - The general public opinion of Steve Harrington has been on such a journey since Season 1, bringing him now to a status of common fan favorite. As such, I think a delicate balance needed to be struck in finding a suitable match to team up with him on adventures. This person needed to:

A) Have good chemistry in their interactions with Steve

B) Bring a new dynamic to the table that he didn’t already have with an existing connection

and most importantly

C) Be a unique and engaging character that the audience would care about individually, so they didn’t get lost in simply being an offshoot of Steve’s story. They couldn’t be relegated to perpetual sidekick with little else to define them.

As far as I’m concerned, Robin Buckley fits the bill on every account. She’s artistic, resilient, loyal, and - especially endearing to me - a movie buff. She has a quick wit, a sharp mind, and a big heart. Being friends with Robin helps Steve take the specter of his high school self less seriously so he can put it behind him, and she helps him more fully embrace the person he’s becoming in the wake of that lost status. Having Steve for a friend helps Robin resolve some lingering emotional scars from school as well. It gives her an opportunity to share her authentic self with a peer and - to her relief and ours - find acceptance after revealing a pretty important secret. I can’t wait to watch the two of them be adorably nerdy and goofy bros at Family Video in Season 4, presumably with some daring fights against dark forces when they’re off the clock. Does saying I hope Kali comes to Hawkins somehow and bonds with one or both of them mean I can speak that into existence? I’m doing that now. It’s worth a try. If it happens in some capacity when the time comes, know that I will throw a One Blogger Party of epic proportions.

3. Wynonna Earp & Nicole Haught (Wynonna Earp) - I had to use this specific screencap because it perfectly encapsulates the chaotic energy that makes me loves these two together so much. Their separate approaches to their shared work environment are at pretty much polar opposite ends of the spectrum, but they make a pretty solid team when they play to each other’s strengths and communicate. They also both love Waverly most of all, so it feels like they were bound to work out their differences eventually since neither would want to make her feel torn between her sister and her girlfriend. The hijinks they get up to in each other’s company are just top shelf. I look forward to at least a little bit of fun like that from every season. If I wind up having a lasting partner later on down the road, it’d be cool if their personality balanced well with my sister’s on this level. I’d also be really happy if I ultimately gelled with her person in a way that sounded unlikely at first but worked. Fingers crossed for both outcomes, but I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

4. Emily Thorne [Amanda Clarke] & Nolan Ross (Revenge) - I have two things to quickly clarify for those who are unfamiliar with this show.

#1 She has two listed names because she was born Amanda Clarke but goes by Emily Thorne for most of the series to hide her true identity.

#2 Despite the impression this picture may give, Nolan is not marrying Emily; he is simply walking her down the aisle.

These two are there for each other through so much - the looming threat of discovery, jail time, capture, near death experiences, heartbreak, the passing of loved ones, etc. - and they make it to the other side with a deep bond the likes of which they’ll never experience with another person. It is at times heavily one-sided because of how much drama Emily deliberately dives into, but it’s something that she tries to make up for during her more self-aware and less self-involved times. There’s genuine love and mutual respect there by the finale and it’s really gratifying to witness the journey they’ve taken together.

[~Slightly spoiler-y closing statement after these brackets~] I was pretty sure I knew where the show was going with romantic ships by the end. I knew for certain it wasn’t my personal OTP for her because they’d already killed that person off quite some time ago. There was a part of me that could’ve found some contentment in leaving the story with these two as a couple. After all, one of my favorite ship dynamics is Reluctant Acquaintances to Best Friends to Lovers, but it was not to be. That being said, the platonic friendship they shared was a big part of the heart of the show and I cherish it for that. Nolan was a rare exception for Emily, a genuine bond formed in the years when she was tried to operate like her heart was made of stone. I also think working with Emily gave Nolan a sense of purpose and let him flourish in his area of expertise. I’m not sure how either of them would feel about the musical reference but, to slightly paraphrase from Wicked: because they knew each other, they have been changed for good.

5. Penelope Stamp & Bang Bang (The Brothers Bloom) - I have seen Rachel Weisz and Rinko Kikuchi in more roles since this movie than I had prior to watching it for the first time so, if anything, my fangirling over this friendship has gotten worse rather than more manageable. x) This post classified the film under the subgenre whimsical noir. It turns out that’s a style I instantly adore every time I stumble upon it. One of the titular brothers, Stephen, lives so deeply immersed in the variations of the world he writes for their heists that even those closest to him are essentially characters he can interact with on a daily basis. His feelings for them as people can get very muddled with his feelings for them as interesting OCs to move through narratives. A big trouble with this is that his living archetypes can often get reduced to clichés. He’s not always mindful of their nuances or allowing for the full range of their autonomy. Penelope is selected by Stephen to serve as the “manic pixie dream girl” who will be his brother Bloom’s forever love and Bang Bang is essentially presented as a “dragon lady” stereotype. I haven’t done a rewatch in years so I may be giving the movie too much credit here, but I remember this choice feeling at least semi-deliberate. It could be interpreted as a way to illustrate how Stephen warps real life to fit his vision. At least, I can definitely remember scenes that felt like they debunked the one-note assessments of these two. What I genuinely love, though, are the little moments when Penelope and Bang Bang are able to just spend time together with little to no interference from Stephen or Bloom. They share their hobbies and teach each other new skills. It feels like they truly perceive one another as whole human beings on a level that neither guy is capable of doing since they’re both so immersed in the drama of the plot. When the women are with each other, they get to be more than an extension of the men who maneuver them; they get to be themselves. Penelope is the only one Bang Bang clearly wants to maintain contact with once the heist is finished. I think that says a lot. Honestly, this is another BROTP that could slide to OTP. If someone wrote fic of them completely severing ties with the brothers and going off on their own - romantically or platonically - I wouldn’t be upset at all.

Top 5 Trios

1. Luke, Leia, & Han (Star Wars Episodes IV - VI) - Oh dear, I’m overwhelmed just looking at a picture of them together. Star Wars has been a part of my life since childhood. Getting to watch the original trilogy felt like a rite of passage (when I was really little, Mom used to find things for us to do outside the room while Dad watched because she was afraid some of it might scare me). Princess Leia resounded with me on a level that almost no other fictional royalty has ever quite matched. Han’s wardrobe is still some serious #aestheticgoals and I would 100% wear replicas of his jackets and vests if I had them. I also remember thinking that Luke’s new look in Return of the Jedi was SO COOL with the all-black wardrobe and green lightsaber. Wow, imagine that, an edgy costume change that shared vibes with the common Disney villain color palette called to me as a baby fan of antagonists and antiheroes! Who ever could have foreseen that sudden spike in appreciation? :P Anyway, one of my lingering sorrows about the more recent trilogy is that we never got to see all three of them as aged adults in each other’s company. I still wanted our new cast to get their time to shine, of course, but I do lament the absence of at least one little trio reunion.

2. Luna, Neville, & Ginny (Harry Potter series) - The Silver Trio, pictured here with the first set of three that comes to mind when thinking about the books and movies. I do still love Harry, Ron, and Hermione, but I’ve found a growing appreciation for this other team-up over the years. They’ve been through a lot too, even if they are not always present where the main action is. Bullying, loss of parents, manipulation of the mind and body, abuse at the hands of authority figures - they’re all left with internal (and probably external) scars to bear. There’s also something to be said for how strong they all were in the school year set during Deathly Hallows, when the Golden Trio wasn’t around to inspire and unite those who wanted to stand up to ever-increasing tyranny. It can be easy, unfortunately, for them to get written off based on the oversimplified stereotypes that have gotten associated with them. People remember Luna as being weird and spacey, Neville as awkward and hapless, and Ginny as bland and lovestruck. They’re all far more nuanced than that, and they accomplish great things while fighting for and beside their friends. I’m planning on doing a re-read of the books at some point, and I really look forward to revisiting these brave kids.

3. Irma, Marion, & Miranda (Picnic at Hanging Rock) - Ah, yes, my very recently discovered darlings. I have many thoughts about them all. I’ll try to keep this as condensed as I can while still making sense. Some spoilers will follow, although those won’t answer every question the story poses. There are audience members who ship the above characters as a throuple, which I totally get, but for me it’s like soulmates of a different kind. These three have met at a point in their lives when they all burn with compatible intensity. They long for the same dream version of youth, for a way to begin life free from the confines of a world that won’t accept all their hearts contain. While the people that surround them may not be willing to bend the rules, nature itself appears to show them mercy. How often do we see a story of girls who just... love other women so much that a sacred location goes, “Y’know what? I’m gonna help you escape your restrictive society. Permanently.” This miniseries definitely depicts the setting as being involved in messing with the investigation, as a mystical place that befuddles unwanted intruders. I love the way these three fortify each other in times of pain and fear, and there’s something deeply moving about how standing side-by-side helps them defy the odds.

4. Sarah, Alison, & Cosima (Orphan Black) - Okay so, technically, when I picture our core team in this show, the net is a little wider. My mind tends to also include Felix, Mrs. S., Kira, Helena, Donnie, Delphine, and Scott. However, I think you could kinda argue that those characters have a stronger connection to one of the above three than they do to the other two. Thus, this ends up being the central triangle. They’re all such solid performances and the fact they’re all played by the same person is incredibly impressive (not to mention the, like, twelve other clones Tatiana brings to life throughout the series). Watching them go from tense strangers to sestras was wonderful. I’m glad they had each other through the increasingly complicated web of lies and schemes they had to unravel and survive.

5. Galavant, Sid, & Isabella (Galavant) - Remember how James Marsden was in Enchanted? If you dialed down the deliberately cartoonish quality of that performance and allowed for more not-so-G-rated humor, I feel like you’d have a general sense of what Galavant is like as a character. Sid is his squire and Isabella is a princess whose mission happens to combine with Galavant’s, albeit fueled by different driving motivations. They find themselves involved in a lot of shenanigans because of Galavant - even in his own universe, he’s into the whole dashing knight thing more than is strictly necessary - but they make a fun little team to follow through the world of this musical television series. I’ve gotten fuzzy on the details since I watched it air live four years ago, but I remember the series being enough of a summer feel-good time that I’d be game to revisit the show again someday.

Top 5 Family Relationships

1. Stevie Budd & The Roses (Schitt’s Creek) - The whole fish-out-of-water setup for this series was already pretty fun in and of itself, especially given how outlandish their lifestyles evidently were before the show begins. The thing that makes it special, though, is how the absence of all their expensive distractions finally helps them prioritize being a family. The Roses do a lot of work to reconcile who they were with who they find themselves becoming in the present. It’s sweet to see them collectively conclude that growing closer to each other is one of the few things they do not regret in the slightest. They also silently agree to adopt Stevie along the way and, boy, does that give me a lot of Big Feelings, particularly in the later seasons.

2. River Song & The Ponds (Doctor Who) - I think it’s been like seven years or so, give or take, since I watched Doctor Who with any regularity. These three have resurfaced in my mind many times since then. They all love with such fierce and unwavering devotion, spanning lifetimes. It’s fascinating - and often heartbreaking - to learn about the things they’ve experienced and endured. Oh gosh, and once the show reveals how River’s story overlaps with theirs, and you pay attention to how she looks at them, IT HURTS but it’s so engaging to watch. The emotions are all flooding back just remembering them now. Argh, what great characters... </3

3. The Tico Sisters (Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi) - Rose appears in two installments of the third trilogy, but this is the episode that has both Tico daughters. We never get to see them interact onscreen in the film, but I still feel the bond between these sisters so intensely. I found out later that Kelly was present for the filming of Paige’s death scene (which happens so early in the movie that it doesn’t feel like a big spoiler - please forgive me if it is). I’m glad that was something they decided to do behind-the-scenes, because it definitely informs Rose’s grief. She’s sitting in the dark, picturing her big sister’s final moments with such horribly vivid detail that it feels like she was there, and yet she can’t do anything to change how it ends. The shape of the sisters’ necklaces immediately establishes that they were a unit even when acting independently, that they felt like two halves of a whole - all they had left of their family. Now there is only one, and that fact is a weight around Rose’s neck both figuratively and literally. It serves as a visual reminder of how she carries Paige’s absence always, trying to discover and embrace who she is on her own while still honoring the memory of a relative she loved so deeply. I think she reaches the end of Episode VIII feeling like she’s someone of whom her sister would be quite proud. I’m very proud of her, too.

4. The Tyler Siblings (Wonderfalls) - Jaye is comically different than the rest of her family, and the show establishes that right out the gate when we learn that she’s the only one whose name doesn’t rhyme with the rest (left to right, the others are Karen, Sharon, Darrin, and Aaron, respectively). Her relationships with her parents could certainly lead me off on some analytical tangents but, predictably, it’s the sibling stuff that interests me more. I think it could be said that all three do more living inside their heads than they do out in the world, and that they’ve all grown up to be borderline loners (Ironically Jaye, who is considered the most troubled, is the only one I remember being shown to have formed and maintained a friendship). Aaron’s a very philosophical and analytical person, so you get the sense he talks to himself more than to others, although he still manages to resurface from those deep contemplations so he can goad and tease his sisters from time to time. Sharon is high-strung, competitive, and brings that “disaster lesbian” energy to basically every social interaction she has. Jaye’s standoffishness seems to stem from both the difficulty of fitting in with people and the fear that connections will fall apart once they manage to form at all. They’re all just messes trying to make the best out of the situations they face, and I appreciate that. I also enjoy how prominently the Jaye and Sharon sister bond features throughout the show’s only season. It starts out on pretty rocky ground, but they grow a lot in regard to how willing they are to communicate and express their love for one another.

5. The Brothers Proctor (Crazy Ex-Girlfriend) - The family dynamics in their house are in need of some serious work, without a doubt. I’m just really touched by how close these two have become without Paula’s notice. It’s possible they always were, in that we-fight-but-we-care way that siblings can often be, but the supportive side of that really moves to the forefront as they get older in the series and it warms my heart. There’s such a glaring difference between The Household As Paula Views It and Things That Are Happening While She’s Not Paying Attention. I can’t help using fic as a way to explore that. I happily find excuses for her sons to make pop-in appearances, just to check up on them. I'm so pleased that, as of Season 4, they seem to have become fairly well-adjusted in spite of everything. Oh, and I am still not over the revelation that they attend renaissance festivals together, in character, for fun. What precious cuties who would no doubt dislike me referring to them as such! Paula, please give them an extra hug from me!

#About Me #Answered Asks

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artnerd1123 · 5 years ago

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Nettles’ Character Sheet

it’s been 500 years since i did one of these, but! undercut it goes~

Character Chart Character’s full name: Nettles Nimue Willoweep Reason or meaning of name: Nettles comes from the plant! Since nettles sting, I was originally planning on having her be a lot more prickly. She still is kinda pokey now, tbh. “Willoweep” is just “weeping willow” but smashed together. It’s for the Aesthetic™. Nimue refers to the “lady of the lake” in the legend of king arthur, and because I thought it sounded cool. important to note is that she made up her current name herself, for story reasons Character’s nickname: none (aiden calls her various pet names later), though some people might attempt to call her captain willow. it doesn’t end well. Reason for nickname: she just doesn’t care for nicknames much, (Aiden’s the exception because they’re overly sappy/joke around a lot with each other later) and she used to be a pirate captain- but isn’t anymore Birth date: March 28th Sexuality: queer Gender/pronouns: genderfluid, she/her (occasionally they/them)

Physical appearance Age: 37 How old do they appear: probably around that. Maybe a smidge older. Weight: still have no clue how weight works! She’s got plenty of muscle mass tho :V Height: 5’11” Body build: thinner frame but with plenty of muscle. She’s strong as frick, and more like a steel rod than a stick. plenty buff :3 Shape of face: i still don’t know how to answer this question lsdkjfs, but she’s got a longer face w/ a sharpish chin Eye color: pale green! Glasses or contacts: neither Skin tone: light brown (african american?) + seafarer’s tan on top of it Distinguishing marks: she’s got so many scars. So many. The most notable ones being “ligature” marks on her right wrist, and a burn on her neck/left shoulder. Predominant features: her hair is p eyecatching for sure Hair color: emerald/leafy green Type of hair: curly coils Hairstyle: currently has it in dreadlocks (they look a lil vinelike!), parted to the right Voice: Jess Glynne - Thursday (but can also sound piratey) Overall attractiveness: strong ex-pirate plant lady,,, pretty in a rugged kind of way,,, ough,,, Physical disabilities: none Usual fashion of dress: pirate, but make it shades of brown/green and a bit less flashy Favorite outfit: dark brown “vest” (actually a dress top she tore the skirt off of) with green accent around front laces, cream off-the-shoulder shirt w/ green accent trim and flowy sleeves, dark brown pants, tan boots w/ straps and gold buckles, large belt w/ gold buckle Jewelry or accessories: black hoop earrings, an emerald leaf shaped cloak clasp, and a staff made of woven grass (which can turn into a sword)

Personality Good personality traits: generally levelheaded, unafraid to tell people things when needed, determined, patient, ‘do no harm but take no shiz’ mentality, not usually quick to judge, generally easygoing, v dedicated to those she considers family, thinks well under pressure, gives good advice (most of the time), can be p charismatic Bad personality traits: tends not to have much foresight, can come across as aloof, really bad about opening up, keeps too much to herself despite tryna get better abt it, can sometimes overlook traits in favor of just being allies/friends, a lil too willing to get into a fight sometimes, can be too headstrong, lies easily to get out of things Mood character is most often in: contemplative Sense of humor: very dark, likes to playfully tease those she cares about, loves really long jokes, can get a bit crass on occasion Character’s greatest joy in life: currently her forest (teaching journal comes close second some days) Character’s greatest fear: her past coming back to bite her Why? She’s not so much scared of people finding out who she used to be, more uneasy about people using it against her. She doesn’t want people to walk out of her life, but like, if they do, she wouldn’t blame em. She just doesn’t wanna get thrown under the bus for what she did back during pirate days, and accused of being something she isn’t (at least, not anymore.) What single event would most throw this character’s life into complete turmoil? Losing journal, tbh. She already lost everything- including family- once. She’s not willing to walk down that road again. Character is most at ease when: out among her plants, or chillin in a tavern Most ill at ease when: near the ocean in any capacity Enraged when: people threaten her loved ones/home/etc, people hurt others due to prejudice, people cause destruction in her forest Depressed or sad when: thinking of her old crew, ruminating in her memories for too long, near the ocean, an old tree dies Priorities: keeping the forest safe, producing enough lucrative plants/herbs so she has on hand pocket money, making sure journal’s alright/settling in/has the help he needs if she’s not around to give it Life philosophy: everyone gets their comeuppance eventually, but that doesn’t mean you sit back and wait. Go knock some sense into em if they need it. Take care of people worse off than you, too. A bit of help gets people a long way. If granted one wish, it would be: to have turned back in that storm instead of charging on. Why? Half her crew wouldn’t be dead. She could’ve actually retired instead of stepping down due to catastrophic failure. Her familiar would be alive. Y’know, normal reasons. Character’s soft spot: plants, gold, shiny things, kids Is this soft spot obvious to others? Plants, definitely. The other things you’ll notice if you’re around her long enough Greatest strength: making a decision and seeing it through Greatest vulnerability or weakness: absolutely hates/has a really hard time opening up to other people Biggest regret: rushing headlong into a storm she had no hope of conquering Minor regret: not travelling inland more when she was a pirate (not a huge deal to her, but it woulda been nice) Biggest accomplishment: either successfully maintaining a ship/captain’s title for ten years, or nurturing her forest from a wildfire charred landscape into a thriving woodsy landscape. Minor accomplishment: finding out how to return gold (if she stole it on accident) without being too weird about it Past failures they would be embarrassed to have people know about: she likely has a ton from her early pirating days. Learning to be a pirate wasn’t super easy all the time Why? She likes to think she’s a competent pirate now, don’t bring that stuff up, thank u v much Character’s darkest secret: dark magic has tempted her many, many times. It still does sometimes. And she almost gave in on a few of those occasions. Does anyone else know? No. they won’t, if she has anything to say about it.

Goals Drives and motivations: moving on aka shoving her past in a closet, being able to keep her forest/new loved ones safe, gold Immediate goals: keep up with her trade partners and her “cash gardens,” check the forest for abnormalities, make sure journ doesn’t need anything that day (and help if he do) Long term goals: keep the forest healthy, keep journal on the right track, continue expanding her budding network of plant trading, hopefully make some more actual progress with her issues How the character plans to accomplish these goals: keep up the “forest guardian” role, send letters to journ/visit him, meet more people, and learn to properly open up. And. y’know. Maybe steal some gold here n there as needed. How other characters will be affected: positively for her loved ones/partners! And maybe possibly probably negatively for those she doesn’t like. Perhaps.

Past Hometown: didn’t have a “town.” lived on ships/ports for her whole life till pirating Type of childhood: unstable, tbh. She was the kid of some merchant questors. Thus, she was always travelling around. Not much time to make/maintain friendships, bond with her parents, or do much besides help out. Any goofing off probably got her yelled at. Her headstrong nature meant she didn’t take kindly to that, so she ran away at 15. Pets: none First memory: the sound of waves. It’s something she’ll never forget, no matter what. Most important childhood memory: seeing pirates in the distance during a trade route! Scary, but she was also in awe of em Why: those pirates inspired her runaway swashbuckling plans when she was a teen! They also showed her an alternative to the dull merchant’s way of fulfilling questor urges. Childhood hero: probably some super well known pirate from a legend a book she smuggled onboard Dream job: anything that wasn’t being a merchant (turned into pirate tho) Education: really good at math, reading, keeping records, and reading the ocean. All thanks to her parents/seabound life! She taught herself plant magic rlly early on, and also learned a lot more things pirating (swordfighting, how to manage a crew, which quests are the most profitable, etc) Religion: Finances: parents took care of childhood finances. She was treasure/stolen loot funded until pirating crashed and burned in her late teen/early adult years~

Present Current location: forest outside Journal’s town. It spans many miles. Currently living with: herself :V Pets: none Religion: Occupation: forest guardian, plant merchant, magic mentor Finances: merchant life pays well enough when she needs it. And, like, she still goes and loots places from time to time. Just keep it quiet, m’kay?

Family Mother: Danielle Chamelea Teritip Relationship with her: though she was v busy, her mother always did her best to keep her daugher on track. She’s the one who pushed nettles really hard to learn, and to focus on becoming a better merchant than entertaining other fantasies. Their relationship wasn’t terrible, but nettles never felt her mom’s approval of her personal goals- just the future her mom wanted. Father: Albus Troise Teritip Relationship with him: he was also very busy, but always took the time to teach her little tricks and tips of the trade. He was also sorta pushy about her becoming a merchant. He never even seemed to notice her pulling away to other fantasies. Why would she? After all, your kid’s gotta carry on the family business. What else would she be doing? Siblings: Relationship with them: Spouse: Relationship with them: Children: Relationship with them: Other important family members: if found family counts, which it does, that’ll be journal! Later in the plot, it expands to fit aiden/roo/seraph/ruffy. In her past, her crew would all have been here

Favorites Color: green. Any shade. Surprising, i know Least favorite color: beige. Boring color, no thank u >:V Music: sea shanties!!! Also likes metal, some pop, and has a fondness for violin/flute music Food: a p p l e s. Also fond of any produce she can eat raw. And crabs. Lov the cronch. Literature: prefers oral stories to reading. But like, history is super interesting to her. Form of entertainment: oral storytelling, showing off (or watching someone show off) magic, stupid tavern karaoke Expressions: loves that devilish smirk of “oh no, they’re up to something bad, hold onto your valuables.” also enjoyable is that eyebrow raise of “did you really just do that? Really? That?” with a deadpan face. Peak expressions. Mode of transportation: swinging/parkouring around through the trees via plant magic and vines, like tarzan, except the vines yeet him instead of swinging sometimes Most prized possession: her staff. She’s had it for years, through good and bad, and it’s not going anywhere. May or may not also have a feather in her cloak clasp for… reasons.

Habits Hobbies: gardening, swordfighting, people and/or birdwatching, storytelling, being extra as all frick every so often so people don’t forget u can and will take them the frick out, applepicking Plays a musical instrument? nope! Plays a sport? Does swordfighting count? How they would spend a rainy day: either inside a town building, tavern, or little canopy of leaves in the forest. Depending on the setting, she’ll just have casual conversations or peoplewatch. Or, if she’s in the forest, she’ll entertain herself with vivid storytelling. Sometimes she’ll jus watch whatever crawled into her dry canopy with her. Or bug journal with excessive letters. Anything chill slkdfjs Spending habits: if she can grow/make/wash it herself, she’s not buying. Spends more gold on trips to town restaurants/taverns than anything else, but it’s chill. ‘S not like she has rent to pay :V Smokes: nope Drinks: rum, of course. What kinda pirate do u take her for??? Also wouldn’t mind whiskey. Drinks a lot less now than she used to. Other drugs: nope What do they do too much of? Being a local cryptid What do they do too little of? Opening up to other human beings instead of plants Extremely skilled at: reading a room, cutting to the chase, sword-and-regular-fighting, plant magic, teaching, stealing/pickpocketing, thinking on her feet Extremely unskilled at: planning ahead, knowing when she should really let things be instead of starting smth, letting her loved ones fight their own fights (she’ll try and step in at least once) Nervous tics: going silent, putting a hand over her mouth, staring really hard at nothing, holding her staff close, squeezing anything in hand (usually her staff end) Usual body posture: holds herself loosely but confidently. Has the air of someone who knows what’s going on, and is at ease wherever. Mannerisms: usually blunt, teases those she cares about (unless told not to), makes hand motions when explaining things, speaks in a more “normal” voice most of the time but can occasionally slip into a piratey accent when angry/upset, tends to unconsciously mimic the accents of those around her if she’s in a new setting, likes to sit back and watch until she judges herself to be “familiar” enough with what’s up Peculiarities: the smell of a lotta salt can sometimes upset her, she’s an extrovert but spends most of her time in the woods/outskirts of towns, she’s still very superstitious from her pirate days

Traits Optimist or pessimist? Tends to err on the side of pessimism nowadays Introvert or extrovert? Big extrovert! She’ll spend time just hanging around places people are if she feels too drained, and really loves spending time with those she cares about Daredevil or cautious? Daredevil with an air of caution about her Logical or emotional? Likes to think she’s more logic based, and acts it, but she’s very emotional driven when it comes down to it Disorderly and messy or methodical and neat? Very neat, actually! You wouldn’t know it unless u got her to live inside tho ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Prefers working or relaxing? Mix of both. Enough work so she’s not bored, but enough relaxing so she’s not stressed :V Confident or unsure of themself? Confident for the vast majority of the time. Animal lover? She’s definitely fond of em!!! :D

Self-perception How they feel about themself: eh, she’s alright. It fluctuates some days, but tends to rest firmly in the “I’m fine, and if I’m not, I’ll fix it for tomorrow” realm. If it does fluctuate, she either feels like a traitor/liar, or a cunning bada$$ One word the character would use to describe self: survivor One paragraph description of how the character would describe self: “I’m Nettles, Nettles Willoweep. I’m a thirty seven year old sorceress who likes plants more than people. Well, that’s a lie. But it is easier to deal with foliage sometimes. I used to be a pirate a long time ago. Not so much nowadays, but that’s not to say I won’t bend a few rules in a pinch. I do what I need. After all, who’s gonna miss a few coins here and there? Certainly not the other families I slip em to. But uh, hey, don’t go spreading that around. I’ve got a reputation to upkeep.” “I guess I’m a bit of a benevolent local cryptid? Whatever that means. Journal tells me it’s a good thing, and I’ll believe him for now. I’m certainly doing what I can to take care of people who need it, and I’d give my right arm to help those I’m close to. Yeah, my blood runs a little hot sometimes, but that hasn’t changed my whole life. I just wanna see my plants and people prosper, and maybe get some gold on the side.” “... ah, right, hobbies. Gardening, forest guarding, fighting with swords, birdwatching… lots of stuff. As long as I’m not spending all my time slogging through old wounds, i’ll call it a good day.” What does the character consider their best personality trait? Her dedication What does the character consider their worst personality trait? How easily she brushes off concern What does the character consider their best physical characteristic? Not sure! She likes her body, and has no complaints abt it. Maybe her hair or how limber she still is :V What does the character consider their worst physical characteristic? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ How does the character think others perceive them: she thinks the general public perceives her as shady but mostly benevolent. She thinks her loved ones perceive her as blunt, but caring. Both of these are fair analyses, by her thought. What would the character most like to change about themself: make it so she could forgive herself easier, and admit to others that she needs a hand

Relationships with others Opinion of other people in general: people are easily tricked and dumb. Individuals can be p nice tho. Does the character hide their true opinions and emotions from others? She’s one of those people where, in certain situations, you’re never gonna be sure if she’s being sarcastic/truthful or not. She does it more regularly than she would like, but less so with close friends Person character most hates: i could put some old rival of hers here. Unfortunately, ‘herself’ works better :( Best friend(s): she’s very good friends with several bartenders, but especially the one in journ’s town. She’s hit it off quite nicely with a nomad who passes through every couple weeks or so, too. Journal is also a “best friend,” but like, in a mentee/kid kind of way Love interest(s): aiden, later ;3 Person character goes to for advice: bartender bffs Person character feels responsible for or takes care of: journal journal journal journal jo- Person character feels shy or awkward around: nobody :V Person character openly admires: *insert several pirates/legendary sorcerers/questors/casual hard workers in towns here* Person character secretly admires: eh. Probably aiden for a bit. Wink wonk lskjdfs Most important person in character’s life before story starts: technically journ counts here? But if not, just herself. After story starts: journal for sure

#nettles willoweep #afw #a familiar world #pirate nettles #character description sheet #this took me all evening; but!!!#worth it :D #and now i've got all this in one spot~#easier to keep track of characterization this way lsdkjfs #anyways; she's a fun gal; even if she's sad sometimes...#nettles i love uuuuuuu #arty writes

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mensbodybuildingtips · 6 years ago

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Why the BCAA Supplement is Overrated

The BCAA supplement is among the most popular in the body building sector, but it's also one of one of the most overrated. Here's why.

You understand that gallon of pink fluid all the hardcore bodybuilders carry around at the health club? Opportunities are it's a mixed drink of branched-chain amino acids (BCAAs), which they'll advocate its muscle-building powers.

If you pay attention to the buzz, the BCAA supplement is as fundamentally valuable as whey healthy protein and as effective as creatine in its ability to aid you build muscle and stamina (or also moreso if you hear some firms).

But, as holds true with lots of supplements, you're not being informed the entire story. Just put, while BCAAs do have a valid use (which we'll discuss), they're not nearly as efficient as they're sold to be.

In this post, we'll damage down why. But allow's begin at the beginning: exactly what are BCAAs, anyway?

What Are BCAAs?

Branched-chain amino acids, or BCAAs for short, are a group of 3 important amino acids (amino acids that your body must receive from your diet):

Leucine

Isoleucine

Valine

Leucine is the celebrity of the trio, as it straight promotes healthy protein synthesis through the activation of an enzyme in charge of cell growth called the animal target of rapamycin, or mTOR.

Isoleucine is number two on the list, as it improves glucose metabolism and also boosts sugar uptake in the muscles.

Valine is a remote third as it doesn't seem to do a lot of anything when compared with leucine and also isoleucine.

You discover high quantities of these amino acids in high quality proteins such as meat, eggs as well as dairy items, with whey healthy protein isolate being specifically high.

If that's the situation, after that, are there benefits to using BCAA supplements in enhancement to eating such high-quality healthy proteins? Is it worth the extra expense?

The BCAA Supplement's (Intended) Benefits

If I desired to sell you a BCAA supplement, it would not be too tough. I could point out a variety of scientifically validated advantages, such as ...

Improved immune function

Reduced fatigue

Reduced degrees of exercise-induced muscular tissue damage

Increased levels of post-exercise muscular tissue growth

And more...

Basically, I can just inform the exact same tale that just concerning every supplement firm marketing BCAAs tells, and also it would be difficult to refute in the beginning glance.

But there are two extremely important points you're not told about BCAA research:

1. Research commonly cited that demonstrates muscle-related benefits of BCAA supplementation was finished with subjects that didn't eat enough protein.

For instance, this research is just one of the poster boys for offering BCAAs. It checked out the results of BCAA supplementation on a team of wrestlers in a calorie deficiency. After three weeks, the supplement group, that consumed an additional 52 grams of BCAAs daily preserved much more muscular tissue as well as lost a bit a lot more fat compared to the control group (who really did not supplement in all).

Sounds pretty cool down? Well, exactly what you will not listen to is that topics, whose typical weight was about 150 extra pounds, were eating a puny -80 grams of protein each day. If we take a look at research on the protein requires of professional athletes in a calorie limitation, we discover that they should have been eating double that quantity of healthy protein to maintain lean mass.

So all that research truly informs us is if we really feel like eating half the quantity of healthy protein we must be eating, a BCAA supplement could aid reduce the damages. Not also exciting.

Other studies that show numerous muscle-related advantages of BCAA supplementation have promising abstracts, but are usually hindered by lack of nutritional control and/or reduced healthy protein consumption, and also in nearly all situations, topics are training not ate, which is a really important factor we'll talk more about in a minute.

2. You can just obtain your BCAAs from food instead, and this is less costly and far extra satisfying.

Research that shows the anabolic impacts of BCAA supplements in the past, during, as well as after workout is usually made use of to sell the powders. Yet this misses the forest for the trees.

What such study tells us is that acutely increasing BCAA levels (as well as leucine particularly) prior to and after workout helps us construct a lot more muscular tissue. There is no proof that doing it with the intake of a BCAA supplement is more reliable than food, however.

In truth, there's study to the contrary: food, and whey protein specifically, may be also a lot more efficient than amino acid drinks.

This is why I suggest you eat 30 to 40 grams of healthy protein before and also after working out, and why I utilize whey healthy protein for these dishes. It's more affordable than BCAA powders, tastes better, and also is much more effective.

So that's just how things presently look when we remove away the hype and also advertising angles. Before I move onto one genuine usage for BCAAs, I want to deal with a concern that might have occurred to you:

Isn' t there a research study that has resistance-trained subjects lift weights and also supplement with BCAAs while likewise on a high-protein lose weight? I want, since that would lend great insight into the controversy.

All we currently have is an unpublished research study paid for by Scivation-the designer of the prominent Xtend BCAA supplement-and directed by Jim Stoppani, that ... cough. demonstrated? ... some impressive outcomes:

Daily intra-workout BCAA supplementation was twice as effective as intra-workout whey protein supplementation, and also led to a massive 9 pounds of muscular tissue growth and 2% reduction in body fat in simply 8 weeks ... in strength-trained males with at the very least two years of weightlifting experience ... that were eating 2.2 - 2.4 grams of protein each kg of body weight ... and also were in a calorie surplus according to Harris Benedict ...

Wait ... exactly what? If I take BCAAs-no sorry, not simply any BCAAs yet Xtend-while I work out I can be in a calorie excess as well as accomplish steroid-level muscular tissue development and get leaner? Wow! Take all my moniez Scivation!

Not. Color me skeptical below. To quote Alan Aragon in his regular monthly research testimonial:

" The skeptic in me is attracted to chalk up several of the cause not just moneying resource (Scivation), but additionally the historical friendship [my link] in between Jim Stoppani as well as the Scivation staff. The reality is, there's no means to measure the degree of business bias fundamental in this trial - or any other for that issue."

Okay after that, so BCAAs do not look to be almost as amazing as the supplement business say. They do, however, have actually one medically verified, genuine usage ...

When You Need to Take into consideration Utilizing a BCAA Supplement

If you were on the fence about purchasing a BCAA supplement for general use, you're possibly off it currently. It ends up, nonetheless, that this supplement does one scientifically supported use, as well as it associates with fasted training.

People normally think "fasted training" implies "training on a vacant stomach," yet it's a bit different. Fasted training means training in a "fasted state," as well as this has to do with insulin degrees in your blood.

You see, when you eat food, it obtains broken down right into numerous particles that your cells could make use of, and these molecules are launched into your blood. Insulin is released as well, as well as its work is to shuttle these molecules into cells.

Now, depending on what does it cost? you consume, your plasma (blood) insulin levels could remain raised for numerous hrs ( anywhere from 3 - 6+). Why is this crucial? Due to the fact that insulin blocks lipolysis ( the breakdown of fat cells in the body).

When your body is in this "fed" state-when its insulin degrees rise and also its soaking up nutrients you've eaten-little-to-no fat loss occurs.

Your body gets in a "fasted" state when it has ended up soaking up all nutrients from the food you have actually consumed and also insulin levels return to their regular, low "baseline" levels.

When you exercise your body in this state, fat loss is increased ( and weighlifting in a fasted state is specifically efficient).

So, as you could see, just feeling like you have an "empty tummy" does not necessarily imply your insulin degrees have gone back to baseline.

The simplest way to work fasted training into your regimen is to function out initial point in the early morning, before you consume morning meal. This has an included advantage, as well: not eating for longer compared to 6 hours raises your body's capacity to melt fat.

There is a downside to fasted training, nevertheless, and also this is where we obtain to BCAAs.

When you exercise in a fasted state, muscle mass break down is enhanced and also this is negative merely because excessive muscular tissue break down harms complete muscle mass development over time.

You could stop this with appropriate supplementation, however.

As BCAAs consist of leucine, and as leucine suppresses muscle mass malfunction, a BCAA supplement serves for protecting muscle mass while training in a not eaten state.

And in situation you're wondering why you can't simply make use of food, remember that food will certainly spike your insulin levels and you will no much longer remain in a fasted state. Actually, whey healthy protein is a lot more insulinogenic than white bread.

BCAAs, on the various other hand, have a smaller sized effect on insulin levels than food, which permits you to continue to be in a fasted state while you educate. This is why many individuals "in the understand" supplement with them prior to fasted exercise.

While BCAAs benefit maintaining muscular tissue, they have two significant downsides:

1. You're paying for three amino acids yet leucine is the just one of the trio that properly subdues muscular tissue healthy protein breakdown.

You can save loan as well as accomplish the exact same outcomes by acquiring pure leucine instead (however be warned-leucine tastes truly, really negative).

2. Many BCAA supplements are consisted of 2 to 3 parts leucine and 1 component isoleucine and also valine, which indicates you should take a fair bit (concerning 10 grams) every time

You need 3 to 5 grams of leucine to successfully combat the muscle loss that arises from not eaten workout, which indicates you burn with bottles of BCAAs relatively quickly if you're educating fasted 5 to 7 days per week.

Thus, I'm not specifically excited about utilizing BCAAs for fasted training. You just don't get much "value," so to speak.

Fortunately, there's a better different ...

Why β-Hydroxy β-Methylbutyrate (HMB) Is Better Compared to BCAAs

β-Hydroxy β-Methylbutyrate (additionally referred to as HMB) is a substance developed when your body metabolizes the amino acid leucine, which is an amino acid that directly boosts protein synthesis.

HMB is usually sold as a muscle-building help however the research study supposed to demonstrate these advantages is shaky at best, prevented most deliberately flaws. Therefore, I'm not comfy making anyclaims regarding muscle mass growth.

There is one advantage of HMB that's well developed, nevertheless: it's a very efficient anti-catabolic agent.

That is, it's great at avoiding muscle mass break down, which implies you will certainly recover quicker from your workouts as well as experience much less muscle pain (as well as the totally free acid form shows one of the most assure in this respect).

It likewise has no effect whatsoever on insulin degrees, which implies it can not damage your not eaten state.

This makes HMB perfect for usage with not eaten training. Its powerful anti-catabolic effects as well as non-existent insulin impacts indicates you reap all the fat loss advantages of training not ate with no of the troubles connecting to muscle mass loss or insulin secretion.

It's also worth keeping in mind that HMB is premium to leucine in reducing muscular tissue break down because it's even more anti-catabolic than its "moms and dad" amino acid.

This indicates it's additionally much more reliable compared to branched-chain amino acid supplements since they rely upon leucine for their anti-catabolic results (isoleucine as well as valine are extremely weak hereof).

The Supplement I Utilize As opposed to BCAAs

In the spirit of full disclosure, I want you to recognize that the adhering to supplement that I advise below isn't really simply exactly what I personally utilize but it's from my supplement line, LEGION.

As you most likely understand, the supplement market is infamous for its lies and shenanigans. The reality is most of the supplements you see in the publications and on the racks typically aren't mosting likely to help you reach your goals faster.

That's why I made a decision to produce the products I myself have constantly desired: science-based formulations, scientifically efficient doses of all components, no fillers or unnecessary junk, and also natural sweetening as well as flavoring.

You can find out more about MYRIAD and also my objective to alter the supplement sector for the far better here.

And if you like exactly what you see and also make a decision to support my work ... you're remarkable. It's since of people like you that I reach invest my time composing short articles similar to this that assist others get into the most effective form of their lives.

Anyway, on to the supplement, which is called FORGE.

FORGE is a fat heater made particularly for usage with not eaten training and it consists of scientifically effective dosages of ...

HMB. As you now recognize, HMB is excellent at stopping muscle malfunction, as well as this suggests you will recoup faster from your workouts as well as experience less muscle soreness.

Yohimbine. Research reveals that yohimbine enables your body to reduce fat stores faster, and also it's specifically valuable as you obtain leaner and also are fighting with stubborn fat holdouts.

Citicoline. CDP-choline (also known as citicoline) is a chemical that takes place normally in the brain that raises levels of one more chemical called phosphatidylcholine, which is crucial for brain function.

Research shows that supplements with CDP-choline improves attentional emphasis, and also I included this in FORGE since a lot of people locate fasted training more mentally draining pipes than fed training and CDP-choline could help counteract this.

The lower line is BUILD aids you lose fat-and "persistent" fat in particular-faster, protect muscle mass, as well as keep training intensity and mental sharpness.

The Bottom Line on BCAAs

BCAA supplements are huge moneymakers but they simply don't meet the hype.

If you consume sufficient healthy protein each day, as well as if you consume protein before and after you train, you have no reason to include BCAAs to your regular monthly supplement bill (unless you similar to yummy water).

If you educate fasted, nevertheless, BCAAs could help alleviate the boosted muscle mass failure prices, however HMB does a far better work and is extra expense effective.

#body building #bodybuilding #bodybuilding diet #exercise #health #health club #weight #work out #workout #workout routines

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mspowerverse · 5 years ago

Text

Power Rider Phantom

(Logo by Markolios and @riceyhot)

In a small city there is a cemetery filled to its capacity. In this cemetery in a house built to look like a mausoleum lives a young man named Terry. Orphaned at a young age Terry was raised by relatives. Terry is the caretaker of this cemetery and keeps all the tombstones clean, the weeds cut, chases off vandals and even helps people find ancestors or help with historical projects. His respect for the deceased earned him the friendship of a drifter he jokingly dubbed “Grim” who helps him maintain the cemetery. All is peaceful until the day the Graven rise. Grim explains that the Grim are restless spirits who cross back to the world of the living and take physical forms by possessing objects that had great value to them in life. Most of the Graven are the spirits of criminals or cruel people, however some are peaceful only seeking to finish their business before they can rest. Grim reveals himself as an aspect of death, the Grim Reaper himself. He gives Terry the task of defending the living from the undead by using the power of the dead. To do this he bestows him with a belt and an object he calls a Soul Sphere. Within this sphere he explains is the soul of a Hero forgotten by history. He also grants him a Sphere with the Soul of the Stallion to ride into battle. Thus Terry becomes Power Rider Phantom!

Name: Terry Hollows Age: 21 Personality/Bio: Terry is seen as a cheery guy, helpful to most, his family maintained the cemetery in the city for years, and he’s helped maintain it. Terry was orphaned at a young age, and has been cared for by family members. His respect for the departed earned him the respect of the reaper itself. Face Claim: Joel Courtney When Terry calls on the Soul of the Hero he gains their speed, strength, and power. Furthermore he gains the ability to float as well as become incorporeal for short periods of time. In battle he can charge his attacks with spectral energy. During his battles with the Graven Terry finds a way to call upon more Soul Spheres, by calling upon souls of the fallen he can gain further power. During an early case he meets Clarissa (Pauley Perrette), a self proclaimed expert of the occult and paranormal, the two connect quickly and on their first date Terry is forced to transform to deal with a Graven. After that she becomes a means of support and research. Transformation Device: Soul Belt Transformation Call: I Call on the Soul of the Hero! Let’s Ride! “Let’s Go Hero! PHANTOM!” Transformation: Ghostly energy engulfs him forming the armor as the Soul of the Hero forms and joins with him Finishing Moves: Rider Soul Kick/Punch/Slash/Blast- Attacks charged with the power of the Hero Weapon: Phantom Sword- Sword with multiple forms Vehicle: Ghoul Cycle- By activating the Stallion Soul Sphere Terry summons a ghostly horse. When he gives the horse the Sphere it transforms into the Ghoul Cycle

The first Soul Sphere Terry summons is that of the Samurai. This form grants him incredible skill with the sword. Transformation Call: “Draw your blade! SAMURAI!” Finishing Move: Rider Soul Slash

By calling on the soul of the Inventor Terry is able to charge his attacks with the power of electricity. Transformation Call: “Brilliant idea! INVENTOR!” Finishing Move: Rider Soul Blast

When Terry calls on the soul of the Archer he gains their skill with the bow as well as the ability to temporarily split himself into an army of clones for a massive wave of arrows. Transformation Call: “Shoot the arrow! ARCHER!” Finishing Move: Rider Soul Arrow

The soul of the Scientist grants Terry increased intellect as well as control over gravity. Transformation Call: “Make the discovery! SCIENTIST!” Finishing Move: Rider Soul Crush

The Musicians soul gives Terry the ability to compose music to attack his enemies. Transformation Call: “Compose the masterpiece! MUSICIAN!” Finishing Move: Rider Soul Melody

When calling upon the soul of the Outlaw Terry gains his skill with the gun. Transformation Call: “Yeehaw! OUTLAW!” Finishing Move: Rider Soul Blast

The peaceful soul of the Monk grants Terry incredible fortitude and might as well as an array of weapons to call upon. Transformation Call: “Peaceful fighter! MONK!” Finishing Move: Rider Soul Smash

As the battle against the Graven grows more intense Grim gives Terry a special Soul Sphere containing the soul of a great Warrior. This power increases his strength speed and stamina immensely. This form also charges his attacks with ghostly flame.

Transformation Call: “Ignite the flames of War! WARRIOR!” Finishing Moves: Rider Warrior Kick/punch/slash/blast- Attacks charged with ghostly flame Weapon: Warrior GunBlade

Calling on the soul of the Kabuki grants Terry the power of illusions. Terry prefers to use this Sphere alongside the Warrior power. Transformation Call: “Perform on stage! KABUKI!” Finishing Move: Rider Warrior Blade

The soul of the Rebel bestows Terry with their skill in battle and their proficiency with firearms. Transformation Call: “Rise up! REBEL!” Finishing Move: Rider Warrior Pistol

Terry gains mystic power when he calls on the soul of the Shaman and his attacks are charged with this power too. Transformation Call: “Mystic might! SHAMAN!” Finishing Move: Rider Warrior Spell

Even with the power of the Warrior the battle against the Graven continues to intensify. Grim reveals that there is a way to combine the power of the Soul Spheres but it is not easy to do so. All of the Souls (including the Spheres the other riders possess) must be in unison otherwise the power is lost. Terry manages to unite them and gain the power of the Reaper. This form allows Terry to summon the souls to fight by his side. Transformation Call: “Unite the souls! REAPER!” Finishing Moves: Rider Reaper Kick/punch/slash/blast- Attacks charged by the souls.

During a near death experience after a particular brutal battle Terry meets the souls of his parents. They reveal that he has been ignoring his own soul thus far. They cause him to realize that every soul from every person has incredible and infinite power within it. Returning to the battlefield Terry calls on this power and unlocks his strongest form, Phantasm. Transformation Call: I call on the infinite power of the human soul! “The light of paradise! PHANTASM!” Finishing Moves: Rider Phantasm Kick/punch/slash/arrow/blast/smash- Attacks charged with the infinite power of the human soul

Name: Marcus Warren Age: 22 Personality/Bio: Marcus is a paranormal detective, searching for the ghost of his brother. He often ends up revealing the phenomena as hoaxes or misunderstandings. When the Graven began to attack he stepped up as Power Rider Spirit to defend the living. He is angered that the Graven are able to return, having lived their lives full of greed and cruelty, while his brother, who lived his life full of kindness and willingness to help others, cannot. Marcus, originally antagonistic toward Terry, has formed a best friendship, almost sibling-like, bond with Terry. Face Claim: Dabier

Transformation Device: Soul Belt Transformation Call: I call on the Soul of Truth! Let’s Ride! “Let’s Go Hero! SPIRIT!” Transformation: Ghostly energy engulfs him forming the armor as the Soul of Truth unites with him Finishing Moves: Rider Spirit Kick/punch/slash/blast- Attacks charged by ghostly energy Weapon: Spirit Staff- A staff with multiple forms Vehicle- Poltergeist Cycle, summoned using the Soul of Speed

Like Terry Marcus is able to summon more Soul Spheres, such as the soul of the Warlord. In battle this soul grants Marcus incredible strategy and firepower. Transformation Call: “Command the troops! WARLORD!“ Finishing Move: Rider Spirit Barrage

By calling on the soul of the Pharaoh Marcus gains its ancient power. Transformation Call: “Chosen by the sun! PHARAOH!“ Finishing Move: Rider Spirit Exile

The illusive soul of the Magician allows Marcus to use illusions and magic tricks to defeat his foes. Transformation Call: “Abracadabra! MAGICIAN!” Finishing Move: Rider Spirit Trick

When Marcus is finally able to contact his brothers spirit and make peace with his death he unlocks a new Soul Sphere. The power of the Medium grants Marcus incredible ghostly power. Transformation Call: “Seek the truth! MEDIUM!” Finishing Moves: Rider Medium Kick/punch/slash/blast- attacks charged with even greater ghostly power Weapon: Medium GunBlade

During a raid on a Graven temple Marcus discovers a talisman charged with seven spiritual elements. Taking it he is able to transform into Spectral! Transformation Call: “I call on the elements of the spirit!” “Fire, Water, Earth, Air, Lightning, Wood, Metal! SPECTRAL!” Finishing Moves: Rider Spectral Kick/Punch/Slash/Blast- Attacks charged with the spiritual elements Weapon: Spectral BlasterRod

Name: Allan Blaire Age: 30 Personality/Bio: Allan is terminally ill. In order for more time spent among the living, the Graven gave him the ability to become Power Rider Lich in exchange for the defeat of the Power Riders. However, Allan failed time and time again, and so, the Graven betrayed him. After the Graven’s betrayal, Allan was left to ally himself with the Riders. Knowing he didn’t have much time left, Allan redeemed himself and atoned for his sins. Not long after atoning, he passed away, but before passing, he passed his Lich powers to a young woman, Alice, a friend of the Riders. Face Claim: Thomas Dekker

Name: Alice Briars Age: 25 Personality/Bio: A young woman Alice is confident in who she is. As a trans woman, Alice has fought for everything she has, and won’t back down from a challenge. She found out about Terry’s secret when she was attacked by a Graven, and soon after Allan’s death, became Lich. Face Claim: Gigi Lazzarato As Lich Alice has the same powers as Allan did however his own soul empowers her now. Transformation Device: Soul Gauntlet Transformation Call: I call on the souls of the dead! Let’s Ride! “Rise the dead! LICH!” Transformation: Allan- ghostly energy engulfs him forming the armor as the souls of the dead unite with him. Alice- Ghostly energy engulfs her forming the armor as Allan’s soul unites with her. Finishing Moves: Rider Lich Kick/Punch/Slash/Blast- Attacks charged by spectral energy Weapon: Lich Staff (Alice only)- A staff with multiple forms

Like the other Riders Allan/Alice are able to call on the power of Soul Spheres. In this case the power of the Author grants them increased range in battle by using the pens on their shoulders as tendrils. Transformation Call: “Write the classics! AUTHOR!“ Finishing Move: Rider Lich Strike

The soul of the Pilgrim gives Allan/Alice increased spiritual power in battle and can call on three familiars to aid in combat. Transformation Call: “Follow the path of peace! PILGRIM!” Finishing Move: Rider Lich Slice

During an intense battle Alice calls upon as many souls as she can and they unite to form a new Soul Sphere containing the power of the Wraith giving her even greater power. Transformation Call: “Many souls as one! WRAITH!” Finishing Move: Wraith Wrath! Power Rider Racer/Phantom: A ghost claiming to be the true inventor of the Evoloids appears and begins attacking demanding rightful credit. It’s up to Karen, Terry and the other Riders to find out if this ghost is truly the inventor or if they’re lying. (Bios by @dream-chef-flavors and @rosegrl18) Previous Powerverse Next

#kamen rider #power rider

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