#but I decided to do an autobiographical short story

[mycological-mariner]

There’s a writing workshop I go to every two months where we write short pieces and read them out. I think I’ve just come up with the most horrible, hilarious, devastating, embarrassing and bitterly hopeful story and I’m writing it right now, it’s making me emotional

[moreteethplease]

> Play it here!

There's a ghost that lives inside my piano. It hasn't always been there, but I'm not sure when it moved in. Can a narrative be haunted by an object? Mine may be.

The Ghost That Lives Inside My Piano is a short autobiographical tale about chronic pain and dead dreams, made in bitsy for bitsy jam #86: better late than never. Devlog (and spoilers) under the cut.

Art 

Due to a lack of time and energy, I opted to use nothing but images converted by pixsy for this jam. I took pictures of my piano, parts of my face and hands, and even my spouse’s hand at one point. I wanted to have all the images (except blank screens) be nothing but converted images for consistent style, even if they were not super clear in pixel form. It’s something I’ve seen a lot of bitsy creators do, and I’ve never done it before, so I was excited!

Ironically, there is one that I had to use a stock image for: the bold double bar line. I wanted to get a close up picture of one from a book of sheet music, but I forgot, and by the time I remembered I was out of energy. This seems fitting, somehow, for the theme of the game.

Anyway, aside from that one stock image, everything else is a photo of myself, my partner, or a part of the piano. Here are some that I think were quite interesting:

One of my fears with this is that 35 rooms in bitsy is far too much for a standard art game. I included so many because I partially wanted to capture the slow, tedious, painful process of chronic pain robbing you of your hobbies until you have to put them down forever (and the game ends). Hopefully I managed that without making it unplayable.

As an additional note, I took more time than usual choosing a cover image for the game. The one I ultimately chose (with the help of a unanimous vote from my friends) is art of the hammers inside the piano. These are the rejects (including a variation of the chosen cover):

Writing and Meaning

This story is autobiographical. Well, the ghost isn’t real, of course. But if you consider it a metaphor instead of a literal ghost, then I suppose it is real.

The idea for this bitsy jam entry first came to me in the shower, when I was thinking about haunted narratives. My brain began running with the mental image of a literal haunted narrative and going to silly places, as brains are wont to do. I imagined a ghost haunting the books on my bookshelf, or the files in my filing cabinet, or the sheet music inside my piano bench. This led to me imagining a ghost haunting my piano, which I thought was a fantastic idea to make something with, and I began to work on the script.

But that script took on a life of its own as I wrote, as scripts are wont to do. I slowly realized that my piano was already haunted, and it was a part of my haunted narrative. I was 8 years old when I decided that I wanted to be a pianist in an orchestra when I grew up, and I was 13 when chronic pain ripped that dream away from me permanently. I pretended it hadn’t, for a while, and I continued to play complex pieces even when my hands begged for reprieve with every press of a note. At 17, as the pain grew worse with each passing month and doctors continued to question if I was faking it for attention, I finally accepted that my dream was dead, and I stopped playing piano seriously for good. If I did actually have that whole “Midas touch” thing that I mention in the game, well, I sure don’t have it now. (Sorry, Teacher Katrina.)

This isn’t a sob story; I’m quite at peace with all of that now. I write, edit, code, and design for a living, which means I still get to do what I love every day and earn money for it, and I do it on my own time. I appreciate all the ups and downs that come with that and honestly wouldn’t have it any other way. And I do still play the piano! I will never abandon the art form; I love it too much! But I do miss playing the piano the way I used to. And sometimes when I struggle to play even a portion of a piece that I played effortlessly at 12 years old, I see that ghost lying across the piano, freezing my joints in place, its dead stare fixed on mine.

Thank you for reading this far. If you’d like to play the game, you can check it out here:

[daifukumochiin]

Writers ask!

1. Start to finish, how long did it take to plan and write? Did you take breaks during the process?

6. How did you decide what tense and POV(s) to use?

18. Talk about your editing and revision process

26. Share your favorite detail

Since no one is curious about any particular fic, I'll just answer in a general sense, Lav 🥲 I'll address it to everyone who'd come across this post. 1. How long does it take me to plan and write a story? Do I take breaks during the process? > I don't have stellar records. So far, out of nine that I uploaded on ffnet, I have two completed one shots (one of those, I promised I'd write a part two, but I'm not interested in it anymore), a completed short multi-chapter fic, a microfic anthology, and then all the rest are WIPs. I've been DM for 7-8 years now... That's how long it is to plan my most read fic xD Technically, it is complete, but I promised some extra chapters and I could just never get it done. I'm answering in a roundabout way because I'm not as organized as Lav when planning and writing my fics. I don't keep records, I mostly go by feeling. However, if I do put my mind into it, I guess I could be the type to set a deadline and get it done. Though it's not a guarantee that I'd get the response that I hope for, and that makes me feel gutted. So, in my case, after getting familiar with my writer self through all these years, I need to believe in the importance of a fic more than anyone so that no matter the response and readership, I'd never stop until it's complete. How long does it take me to plan and write a story? Until the will to do it takes me through its completion, that's my answer. Do I take breaks? Hahaha! It's breaks that need to be taken from me.

2. How do I decide what tense and POV(s) to use? > Past. Third person limited POV. Those are my default. I don't think much about it. 3. Talk about your editing and revision process. > Even after I finish uploading a fic, I'll always end up finding errors here and there. I don't have a perfect chapter unlike PianoCoat. When I see an error in PianoCoat's chapter, I'm like, "whoa, that's rare." I edit for as long as I see mistakes, and for as long as I wanted to check for mistakes. I used to be more prudent with this, especially with my first fic, but recently, I don't have much time anymore, and you know, that's fine. I run it through Grammarly-sensei and even after then, I'd still catch some errors. Fresh eyes? Don't know her. Maybe give it five to ten years, then I'd truly have fresh eyes. Not the day after. Fresh eyes I tell you, isn't necessarily a good thing. Your past self's treasure could turn into your future self's cringe. My verdict: I edit and revise, but I'm not the best person for it.

4. Share your favorite detail. > 🤔... This took long for me to think about to be honest. I think I've already told everyone in the SasuHina Month discord about things I liked that I felt those are old things that aren't necessarily very true for current me anymore. I'm thinking maybe something from my most recent works. Is 2022 recent? Doesn't matter, let me tell you about it, 'cause I haven't told this to someone yet. I liked how my story for SH Month 2022 Day 3: Dépaysement took everyone on a journey where they didn't know how it would turn out. That's my favorite part about it. People knew it was a SasuHina story, but they weren’t able to predict the ending because the experience of the journey had immersed them. Also, I liked that Hinata had a hard time with the goats. That part was semi-autobiographical🤣

Thanks for checking out my stuff😽💞🙌 If you haven't yet and are interested, here are links for you:

AO3 https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daifuku_Mochiin/works

FFnet https://www.fanfiction.net/u/9526245/Daifuku-Mochiin

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Michael After Midnight: "Sir Psycho Sexy" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers

For April Fool’s 2024, I decided to do a bit inspired by Todd in the Shadows called Ford Analyzes Tunes And Song Stuff, or FATASS for short (a little nod to how Todd’s moniker can be shortened to TITS). Basically people would send me a song, and I would give some wacky analysis or review of the song that was probably the opposite of my actual, genuine opinion. For example, for Nickleback’s “Photoraph,” I claimed the entire song was actually a bittersweet gay romance. It was a fun exercise in crafting absurdity from even the most mundane or stupid lyrics. But it did leave me wanting to review a song for real… and what better than one of my favorite songs of all time?

The Red Hot Chili Peppers are a band that need no introduction, but I’ll do it in case some of you out there don’t listen to good music and/or hate California: RHCP is a funk/alternative rock band formed in 1982, though they didn’t really cement their status as one of the best bands around until their release of the alt rock classic Blood Sugar Sex Magik in 1991, an album that produced the personal and powerful “Under the Bridge,” the hard rocking “Suck My Kiss,” and the all-time banger “Give It Away.” It’s a fantastic album, one of the most influential of its time, and many regard it as RHCP’s best work—including the band’s bassist, Flea. I’m certainly inclined to agree; it’s a nice middle ground between their heavily funk-influenced early work and their later more radio-friendly rock tunes. Don’t get the wrong idea here—they were, and still are, a very good band—but I think in my opinion the 90s were the decade where they really stood out from the crowd as trailblazers in the rock scene.

With that out of the way, it’s time to single out my absolute favorite song on the album to talk about: An eight minute long track titled “Sir Psycho Sexy.” With a title like that and an impressive length to match, you know you’re in for something bonkers, and I’d say the song delivers in spades; it’s a funky rap rock epic that is hornier than almost any song before or since. The rizz the titular Sir Psycho Sexy of the song displays is beyond that of any mortal man, and it is simply glorious. This song is also a song that inspired one of my Ocs—Flynn Dangerfield from the Rhine City series my wife and I are working on. If you’re unfamiliar with the character (and you shouldn’t be, the rough drafts for the story are pinned at the top of my blog), this is like if Alex Hirsch said Dipper and Mable were actually inspired by Flowers in the Attic.

If you don’t believe me, then read on as I riff on one of my favorite songs and showcase the brilliant lyrical insanity of a 90s rock band that was likely high as a kite while writing this. Also, this is your warning: These lyrics are insanely NSFW. This isn’t nearly as bad as the last song I riffed on, “Pregnant Pussy,” but it’s up there. You’ve been warned.

So this song is sort of a story, and every story has a main character. And what a character we have here; Sir Psycho Sexy is his name, and getting pussy is his game. How does one introduce such a man?

A long, long, long, long time ago Before the wind, before the snow Lived a man, lived a man I know Lived a freak of nature named Sir Psycho

Not a bad way to start things. Lead singer Anthony Kiedis really sets up Sir Psycho as some ancient, powerful force of nature, a being who has existed as long as there were babes to fuck and who is so eternal he was there before wind or snow. Mind you, this is before we get into all of his insane sexual feats and astounding prowess with the ladies, so we have the coolest guy in the universe right here. Let’s see what else there is to say about him:

Sir Psycho Sexy that is me Sometimes I find I need to scream

Oh. Ok then. So Anthony Kiedis is Sir Psycho Sexy. This is either self-insert Mary Sue fanfiction, or it’s an autobiographical tale describing things that actually happened. Let’s be super duper charitable and call it the latter. At any rate, the fact he just likes to scream sometimes is universally relatable.

Still, you may not be convinced how good the song is from this opener, as it can come off as blatant wish fulfillment fantasy. Thankfully, the second verse opens with the greatest lyrics ever written by a human hand:

Deep inside the garden of Eden Standing there with my hard on bleedin' There's a devil in my dick and some demons in my semen Good God no that would be treason

This is absolutely blasphemous, disgusting, degenerate, explicit, and one of the funniest fucking set of lyrics to ever be in a song. “There’s a devil in my dick and some demons in my semen” is not a phrase you hear every day, and it certainly won’t leave your head after you hear it. And don’t worry; things only get better from here!

Believe me Eve she gave good reason Booty looking too good not to be squeezin' Creamy beaver hotter than a fever I'm a givin' 'cause she's the receiver I won't and I don't hang up until I please her Makin' her feel like an over achiever I take it away for a minute just to tease her Then I give it back a little bit deeper

So I don’t know what could be expected, but Sir Psycho plowing the Biblical Eve is probably not the sort of thing you could imagine when first popping in to listen to this song. When you take into account his ancient nature from the first verse and the fact he’s got his boner dripping blood in Eden in the first few lines of verse two, this is really the only logical next step though. The real question here is, is Sir Psycho supposed to be Adam, or has Sir Psycho tied up Adam to watch as he busts in Eve more times than should be humanly possible? If he’s “Makin’ her feel like an over achiever,” I’ve gotta imagine he’s not stopping after round one, two, or even three. I do like the detail that Sir Psycho won’t give up until he pleases her; it’s very cool and considerate that he cares enough about his lover to ensure her satisfaction too.

I got stopped by a lady cop In my automobile She said get out and spead your legs And then she tried to cop a feel

Verse three begins with an extremely sad case of police brutality and sexual assault. Poor Sir Psycho was just driving along, minding his own business, when he’s pulled over for no crime whatsoever; the cop just wanted to fondle him. These lyrics really say a lot about our society, and the state of the police force in America when even gorgeous immortal studs aren’t safe from the pigs.

That cop she was all dressed in blue Was she pretty? Boy I'm tellin' you She stuck my butt with her big black stick I said, "What's up?" now suck my dick

Some interesting tidbits of information here: Sir Psycho enjoys being pegged, and he has a death wish. What kind of absolute madman says that to a cop that has them at his mercy? Does he really think he can turn the tab--

Like a ram getting ready to jam the lamb She whimpered just a little when she felt my hand On her crotch so very warm I could feel her getting wet through her uniform Proppin' her up on the black and white Unzipped and slipped, "Ooh, that's tight" I swatted her like no swat team can Turned a cherry pie right into jam

Are we sure this man is Anthony Kiedis and not British Prime Minister David Cameron? Cuz he sure does like fucking pigs! Sir Psycho, with his ancient pornomancy powers, takes “fuck the police” to a whole new level, completely turning around whatever situation he’d gotten himself into.

And now we get a shift in the instrumentation, and the lyrics kind of mellow out and almost feel a little romantic(at least in a 90s funk rock way):

Hello young woman that I love Pretty punk rock mama that I'm thinking of Hold me naked if you will In your arms in your legs in your pussy I'd kill To be with you, to kiss with you, I do miss you I love you Lay me down, lay me down, lay me down, lay me down Lay me down, lay me down, lay me down, lay me down Descending waves of graceful pleasure For your love there is no measure Her curves they bend with subtle splendor

This part genuinely feels so tender and, while it is extremely horny, Sir Psycho seems especially reverent of this woman, this amazing “punk rock mama.” I kind of think this segment pulls the entire song together, giving us a brief respite from the more overt sexuality and into something that genuinely sounds sweet, albeit in a decidedly horny sort of way.

Of course, we soon get back to Sir Psycho’s usual escapades in the final verse:

Now I lay me down to sleep I pray the funk will make me freak If I should die before I waked Allow me Lord to rock out naked

And after this, we get kinky before wrapping up this song and heading to an extended instrumental outro:

Bored by the ordinary time to take a trip Calling up a little girl with a bull whip Lickety split go snap, snap Girl gettin' off all in my lap The tallest tree the sweetest sap Blowin' my ass right off the map Ooh and it's nice out here I think I'll stay for a while

So full disclosure, this really, genuinely is one of my favorite songs of all time, and perhaps my favorite RHCP song. It’s so audacious, in-your-face, and unabashedly horny, and in a day and age when people seem hellbent on removing sex from art, it’s nice to go back to a simpler, sluttier time and jam out. Is the length a bit excessive? Sure, probably, but length like this is all Sir Psycho is capable of.

The song is honestly not too dissimilar from the last song I reviewed, “Pregnant Pussy” by UGK… at least in terms of audacity. Where that song was trying to be as disgusting and depraved as possible to get a reaction from the listener, essentially being the nastiest troll song you’ll ever here, this song is just very upfront with its sheer horniness. It only barely eases you in, with the opening leading right into blasphemous boasting and dick blood, and it just never stops. It slows down a bit in a couple parts, but overall it really is just an unrelenting force. The song’s length isn’t something you ever really feel, because it just goes from one dirty lyric to the next.

But I think the most important thing the song does is remind us we all have a little Sir Psycho Sexy inside us, and we all have been standing the garden of Eden with our hard on’s bleeding while there were devils in our dick and demons in our semen. Maybe the real dick devils were the friends we made along the way.

[lazyrants]

Sportacus on the Move! (prod 136)

Chris Crow (https://www.youtube.com/@handle6324) gave GetLazy an .iso of the ninth LazyTown DVD intended for promotional use only. To finally put the .iso to use, I decided to take all the screenshots in this episode myself. I also watched it using VLC.

Original airdate: May 18, 2006

Story by Magnus Scheving

Written by Noah Zachary, Cole Louie, Magnus Scheving

Directed by Magnus Scheving

Executive producers - Magnus Scheving, Ragnheidur Melsted, Raymond P. Le Gue, Mark Read, Brown Johnson, Kay Wilson Stallings

Starring Magnus Scheving, Stefan Karl Steffanson, Julianna Rose Mauriello

Puppeteers - Gudmondor Thor Karason, Jodi Eichelberger, David Matthew Feldman, Julie Westwood, Sarah Burgess

Sportacus is my favourite character, but this is a clip show AND in the style of an autobiographical documentary. So will I really even like it? Beware - I don't really explain most scenes good enough because they're mostly recycled from other episodes, so I keep it short.

The episode begins with a new cold open (good start!) where Sportacus is riding to town on his sky chaser. Once Stephanie sees him she puts in her letter. Sportacus checks on what she's doing, then she sends the letter. Sportacus rides back to his airship to get the letter, and he does.

We get some narration from Sportacus, who is thanking us for our letters. Some letters that were actually sent to LazyTown Entertainment pop up on the screen, with kids reading out their questions - and there's a big last group yell - 'can I be a superhero?' Sportacus says anyone can be a hero, then he walks through his morning.

Here is a recycled cold open from 'Zap It!' that I'll only explain as my Zap It review was rushed. Sportacus gets out of bed and flips into a pair of skating shoes. He grabs a hockey stick and skates over to his bed. He throws away a cushion then arranges the blanket.

He says that's how you make a bed, then skates over to his cupboard, spinning the hockey stick once more then putting it back in it's place, literally. He declares it breakfast time.

A recycled cold open from 'Dear Diary' - he slices up a banana with a ping pong racket, falls to the ground and tries to catch all the slices in his mouth. Still hungry, he calls for an apple but there are none left. So he decides to have some random watermelon that was on the floor.

Recycled cold open from 'Dr. Rottenstein' - he throws away the watermelon, does some cartwheels, jumps in the air, and now he's handstanding on the watermelon. Then he gets off, throws it in the air and catches it doing a power jump. He twirls it on his finger and it shatters to slices as he drops it on the table, then he eats it.

Now, it's teethy cleany time the Twenty Times way! Sportacus flips onto his aerobics bar, hangs on with his legs, and grabs his toothbrush. He jumps off and starts brushin!

The rest of the LazyTowners are brushing too to 'Twenty Times Time', but that all ends when Sportacus throws the toothbrush out of his accidentally-open door. He jumps out the airship and lands on the sky-chaser, and from then on, it's a mashup of 'Twenty Times Time' & 'Get it Together'. After the whole toothbrush thingy, Sportacus wants to play a little game with the sports spinner.

His first exercise is jumping jacks, and he adds a little Sportatwist to it - in the middle he starts flailing his arms around like those inflated people you see at car shops, then he starts kicking.

Then he just starts to fricking jump. That may just be some practice for his second move and my favourite one - Power jumping! So, he does a bunch of power jumps (no Sportatwists) before going on to a harder move - soccer. A recycled cold open from Soccer Sucker. Meanwhile, the kids are doing nothing!

They're probably bored because Sportacus isn't playing with them, but Milford tells them to do something fun like play basketball, and they all have fun doing so. After he throws back the ball, he says that he's now ready for anything, then something happens. He gets a letter, and reads it.

It's a question about why he moves so much. His answer is that he loves to move, and then he performs Get it Together. Once the song ends, he flips over to his water bottle and puts some water in his cup. Recycled cold open from Miss Roberta - he hits an ice cube using a baseball bat against the walls and it lands in his glass of water and he drinks it.

Then he gets a letter from an unknown person asking him to teach him one-arm pushups. This is my favourite part of the episode. So, he demonstrates normal pushups, triceps pushups, clapping, turning, then he tries ONE ARM!

Then jumping then clapping behind his back! Sure enough, he accomplishes it! Then he does his favourite - one arm, one leg. This is super cool. He calls for paper and a pen and he draws some pictures of his favourite pushups, and of course, a message. He sends his letter using air-mail, but he forgot to sign his name. He runs out, but the door isn't activated yet, so he has to turn the knob a bit. TWICE.

Finally, once it opens, he ties his feet to a white rope, then attaches the piece of metal to it on the magnet of his airship's door. He then dives off, catches the letter, and pulls himself back up. Then he signs his name.

Then he throws it back out. Now it's time for another energy boost. Meanwhile, a recycled scene from Ziggy's Alien - Robbie tries to sleep but is awaken by the sound of a kid yelling for help. In this case it's recycled from 'New Superhero' and Ziggy is falling. Then a recycled scene from 'Sports candy festival' where Sportacus' Club Special is consumed by Sportacus. I have complained about this so many times - but that is a plain lettuce and tomato sandwich.

The crystal beeps. Sportacus says before he saves someone he tries locating the problem, which he almost never does. Liar. So, he rides into the town and saves Ziggy with a skateboard and a comically long scarf.

The crystal beeps again - this time a recycled rescue from the VERY FIRST EPISODE involving Trixie being a moron, Stingy being a moron, Stingy flying in the air, and a seesaw.

Then a recycled rescue combining clips from both 'Sportscandy Festival' & the beginning of 'New superhero'. Milford is carrying a cake, he's about to walk onto a skateboard, but with the help of a carrot, he doesn't. Then a recycled scene from 'Sportscandy Festival' - Steph wants an apple, Sportacus throws a ball at the tree, Steph has an apple.

Then Energy is performed. Sportacus goes back to the airship using the sky-chaser. Robbie who has been looking through his periscope pushes it back of anger, then it comes rolling back and he makes a dive for it.

XD! So, Sportacus flips into his bed, day turns to night, and a recycled ending from the VERY FIRST EPISODE plays! Except this time there's an extra two seconds of Robbie's pained expression after lifting his arm.

3/10 - This episode was a bit boring as it was a lazy attempt to finish the season with recycled clips. The push-up and super spinner sequences really saved it for me, if those scenes were absent I wouldn't have liked this episode AT ALL.

[sour-facedsaints]

Book Review: Violin by Anne Rice

Year: 1997

Genre: gothic fiction; supernatural horror

Format: audiobook

Length: 11 hr 40 min

Stars: 3.5

Summary: The death of Triana Becker’s husband triggers an all-consuming grief and a wave of rememberings and nightmares that leave her phasing in and out of reality. While her family worries for her at home, a ghostly violinist uses his music to exacerbate her madness. When Triana decides to resist, however, she and Stefan become locked in an emotional conflict through time, as Stefan reveals his past to her.

Thoughts: Being Anne Rice’s most autobiographical work, this book was a fascinating look into what made her tick. I appreciate it for it’s brutal rawness, it’s connections to her earlier work, and the usual strengths of Anne’s writing. The more I sit with it, the more I see that this is the story of a woman clawing her way out of a depression death spiral as she learns to love and be loved by the uglier, traumatized parts of herself, as represented by Stefan.

In many ways, it feels like a successor to Interview With The Vampire; it’s an updated take on Anne’s relationship with grief. I also picked up hints of The Vampire Lestat (particularly where Nicki is concerned, which makes sense as he is an echo of Louis), as well as a short story Anne wrote about Armand for Playboy in 1979. It makes use of a quote from John Keats’ poem, “Ode to a Nightingale”, which then reappears in Violin (and later in the AMC adaptation of Interview With The Vampire; “an easeful death”).

Violin loses 1.5 stars from me as a matter of taste. The writing is circular and drawn out to showcase the depths of Triana’s madness, and lingers on some truly disgusting descriptions. And if you came for the supernatural aspect, I’d wager that accounts for maybe 40% of the entire book? The other 60% is the aforementioned madness; we spend it almost entirely in Triana’s mind, which can be very difficult to follow. I was less captivated and more… held captive, at points. I needed to understand more about the awful experience I was having.

That’s not to say that the author is necessarily wrong for trying to frustrate, disgust, or horrify the reader, but she was certainly effective in doing so, and I personally struggled through some of that. As I said, it’s brutally raw.

What I think I enjoy most about this book is the lens it provides for analysis of her other works. I do intend on reading it again, this time with a physical copy, so I can mark it up. See what I notice another time that I didn’t before.

I would recommend this book to: anyone who wants to understand Anne Rice better, readers who don’t mind “slow” or character-driven novels, and readers interested in a deeply psychological and unfiltered exploration of grief, trauma, and mental illness.

[biscuits-of-bagend]

DnDoc, The Loch o' the Lowes #2 - The Ettrick Shepherd

Part 1

Previous stories: DnDoc, Coming Home DnDoc, Space Band DnDoc, A Man's a Man DnDoc, The God of Rock 'n' Roll

---

Once they'd all extricated themselves from their wetsuits back in the TARDIS, they climbed very carefully back onto the paddle board in shorts and t-shirts and took it across to the north side of the loch. If they hurried, they could grab dinner from the café in the lochside cabin before it closed for the evening. The Doctor also said he wanted to introduce the others to an old friend, though he was being sufficiently cryptic about it that Rogue didn't think it was going to be straightforward.

   There was a bit of a queue at the café - the slightest sunny day in Scotland seemed to bring the population out in droves - so they decided to go statue first, food after. The Doctor took them across the car park, over a row of giant boulders at the boundary, then into a patch of long grass with a path mown through it. The path took them up a small incline then around the face of a low wooden wall. Rogue had been watching the ground to make sure his slightly tired feet went in the right places, but now he looked up at the enormous marble statue on a high, stocky column.

   It obviously wasn't as tall as a magnificent column in the middle of a city or something - if it was it would probably hit the tree cover - but because you were standing right next to it, it felt mightily imposing. The marble figure on top was sitting on a marble rock, with a marble plaid thrown over his shoulder and an adorable marble dog at his side. On the sides of the column, which the Doctor gestured for them to follow him around, there were a few couplets of simple poetry in memory to James Hogg, the man depicted above.

   "He was a nice lad," the Doctor said. "Terrible liar, but earnest about what he cared about. But at the same time not cheesy. He was oblivious in some ways, but startingly sharp in others."

   "What do you mean bad liar?" Ruby said. "Did he mess you around?"

   The Doctor laughed. "Oh, he's definitely not an ex. We had an argument up in the hills about ghosts once. I was absolutely shitting myself because I kept thinking I could hear things, and he kept rolling his eyes and asking me if I was a southern tourist. I was also white at the time, kind of don't want to know what he'd have said if it happened now. Who knows, maybe it'd have been fine, but I could imagine the word 'voodoo' being used, and not correctly.

   "No, what he lied about was his birthday. He tried to convince people he had the same birthday as Robert Burns, but this was like, categorically untrue based on something previously published. Same thing again with conflicting autobiographical details about when he started writing poetry, god love him."

   Ruby chuckled, but Rogue was distracted. There was never baking heat in Scotland, but he'd been quite warm ever since he towelled off. Whereas now he was shivering. He turned around to face the loch - well, lochs, since from this angle you could see both the Loch of the Lowes and St. Mary's Loch, which was connected to it via a narrow stream, or as it was known in Scotland, a burn. He was sure he could hear some sort of foghorn, but surely there were no boats around; no boat big enough to have a foghorn could have fitted down that burn. It was a low hum he could hear, not unlike the TARDIS, and it was coming from the water.

   He turned back to face the statue. The Doctor had been watching him, and he put his hand on Rogue's upper arm.

   "Hey, you okay?" said the Doctor, rubbing his hand up and down.

   It occurred to Rogue that was the second time the Doctor had asked him that in the past hour.

   I just want to have a nice day out, Ruby had said, a holiday from monsters and gods and stuff. If Scotland doesn't work out this time, I'll never ask to go there again.

   Presumably, she didn't actually mean that forswearing of Scotland forever more, but Rogue still didn't want to ruin the mood of the afternoon, not when he didn't have any evidence that anything was wrong. Mind over matter, motion over mind.

   Rogue put his hand over the Doctor's. "I'm okay, just hungry."

   "Alright, let's go grab some toasties," said the Doctor.

   "Sounds good." Rogue nodded.

   They sat outside at a picnic table to eat their toasties and sip their tea. Rogue could have gone for some fish and chips, in all honesty, but the caravan-shaped café was charming and wildly convenient. Plus this ham and cheese toastie was delicious.

   As the Doctor and Ruby chatted, Rogue kept hearing a buzzing echo. It was like someone on a video broadcast didn't realise they'd left their mic on so he was hearing the instructions and requests from a producer filtering through into some sports commentary or something. Except the content didn't concern programming schedules or pieces to camera.

Poor heartless man! And wilt thou lie

A prey to this devouring flame?

That thou possess not bonny May,

None but thyself has thou to blame.

   He squeezed his eyes shut then opened them again, trying to shake the words out of his head but without anyone noticing.

O tempting spirit I beg of thee

These twisting arguments to desist

How dare thee bring thy heinous words

And compel this mind which pious ist?

   Who were the voices talking to? Clearly not him. Whatever was going on was not meant to be overheard. His shoulders started to rise up around his ears and there was a sinking feeling in his stomach. Whoever this 'pious mind' was, he got the feeling it bloody well better resist or something terrible might be about to happen to 'bonny May.' More frighteningly, neither of the others had heard the voices. It was probably some fragment of poetry he half remembered, something his brain had dug out for him as a crisis response when he got scared in the water and when the Doctor started talking about ghosts. Gods, he was out of practice. He wondered if he'd even be any use as a bounty hunter at this point.

   He looked out over the water, trying to hide his expression from his friends. Maybe he could just be a good tourist instead. He thought he saw a cottage in between the two lochs, but once again a blink took it away. He could find nothing solid to rest his mind upon.

   He felt the Doctor's hand stroking his thigh as he and Ruby talked. Well, at least there was that. He took the Doctor's warm, strong hand and held it, waiting for the fear to pass and wishing he'd never gone swimming.

---

Part 3

The poem I'm referencing here is a ballad Hogg has collected and put his own spin on called Mess John. In the spirit of keeping balladry alive, the second verse is my own invention!

@off-traveling-in-the-stars @casavanse @monster-donut @randomwholocker (let me know at any point if you no longer wish to be tagged in each post)

[goatsandpals]

Uhhhhhhh. I know that I said that I was quitting art, and I did make a good effort for about a hour but then I found where I had hidden my sketchbook. When I was trying to quit art, a lot of it was due to the circumstances. Reasons why I was going to quit art:

1. I have a lot of homework: finishing one of my three autobiographical 7000 word stories, working on a project on Quakerism that I didn’t know was coming up, and keeping up with the biweekly literature responses. Along with helping write the school play. And going to math tutoring twice a week. Not fun. I felt like I didn’t have any time to draw.

2. Seasonal depression. I hate winter, and it’s very cold where I live. Worst time of year. Also my hands get very dry and they start bleeding if I bend them.

3. Literally everyone is better at art than me. That day, I had seen some art that my classmates had done and it was like a thousand times better then anything I’ve drawn. Being an artist started to sound sorta unrealistic. I’ve never been the ‘talented’ kid or anything. I was homeschooled and didn’t have any art classes.

4. Family issues. Everyone in my family seems mad at one another. Not going to go into it but it’s kinda scary at this point.

5. I keep only drawing ocs and I didn’t want my followers to get mad at me.

6. I was feeling tired and bad in general.

Long story short: I decided to quit art, but then I thought about it and there’s nothing else I really want to do. Anyway I’m sorry that I said I was quitting art. I really love doing it, and I may not be the best, but I’ll keep trying to get better. (Holy titan that was very cheesy I’m the worst.)

[flameswallower]

the cute ones you can read for free

This is something I've been meaning to make for a while, which is a convenient list of all the fiction I've written that is available to Read For Free Online and that is, uncharacteristically, not really horror, or pornography, or a downer, or dealing in depth & gritty detail with ~* ~*~* dark, upsetting themes*~*~*~. JUST the stuff that's sweet and gentle, with strong elements of optimism and/or humor. I do write stuff like that sometimes!

A few people have said to me recently or semi-recently that they would love to read my fiction but they're reluctant to do so because they really can't handle anything too bleak, or intense, or creepy, or X-rated. It's perfectly possible this is just a nicer, more polite way of saying "I'm not interested in and do not wish to subscribe to your (metaphorical) newsletter, thank you very much," but I've decided to proceed by taking it at face value. Hopefully, someone'll find this list useful!

So, in alphabetical order:

7 7 7: Very faintly, loosely autobiographical trans flash fiction.

Alterations: An Interview: Flash fiction about body modification. One of the first stories I ever had published.

Colossus: I...guess this is technically body horror? It has buildings made of fingernails and hair, but not, like, in a way that's supposed to be disgusting. Flash fiction.

Gardeners In Hades: This is mostly just some dudes complaining about their jobs and talking about plants. Like the previous three, very short.

Persephone, Traveling: Utopian slice-of-life type story about a robot moving from a society in which robots are abused and oppressed to a robot commune on the moon. Sequel to...

Pomegranate: Dystopian but chill slice-of-life type story about a robot and her one human friend.

Serpent's Bride: Flash fiction based on Beauty and the Beast + similar fairy tales.

The Giant and the Girl of Glass: Flash fiction about two disabled circus performers who are in love.

Additional stories, a little creepier or spicier, but still on the light side:

Close Encounter: A transformative experience with a weird, goopy E.T.

Clinic and Ghost-Rose: Two flash fictions! Content warning for institutionalization/implied medical experimentation and male pregnancy, respectively.

Leavings: A maid finds a bizarre mess at the roadside motel where she works.

Lanie's Monster: I really like this one, personally! Two middle school best friends face down an enormous creature. Content warning for implied/discussed death, implied suicidal ideation, and, uh, I guess kind of a nihilistic overall message? But funny! And joyful! (Download the PDF at the link.)

Nothin' But Mammals: The internet's premier flash fiction about giving a handjob to a horse therian in exchange for marijuana.

[davidmariottecomics]

You Can Always Restart

Ahoy hoy!

I've mentioned a few times over the past couple of weeks (mostly in the "What I enjoyed" section) that I've been reading David M. Willis' Dumbing of Age. I'm all caught up on over a decade of webcomics! Woo! There are a lot of reasons that I like it. I find the characters compelling. I'm a big sucker for slice-of-life type stuff that occasionally gets spicy and that tracks multiple groups of folks all just kinda living their lives and the ways they intersect with comedic and dramatic effect. Lots of Beast Wars references and acknowledgement of how great IDW TF comics are (and the occasional nod to TMNT and Sonic and stuff too). A cartoonist with the initials DMW when I'm DWM. It's great! 

But now that I am somehow caught up, I've also decided to check out their earlier comics. I've just finished the original run of Roomies! now. Roomies is a proto-Dumbing of Age in a lot of ways and that's a big part of what has inspired this week's blog about revisiting and revising your old work. 

You Can (Always) Redo

Yes, that is a riff on the Rebuild of Evangelion titles which are also a pretty good example of what I'm talking about today. 

Sometimes, as a creator, you have a good idea. Sometimes, you have a great idea. And sometimes, you do not have the ability to properly execute your big idea. There are a million reasons for it, right?

Just to look at Evangelion. The original TV series, somewhat infamously, always had a very small staff working on it, was running up against tight deadlines the entire run of the production, had various curveballs thrown at it by both the creator and the studio that would significantly change the overall plot and focus of individual episodes while in production, and ends in a couple of really weird episodes that may or may not have had budget problems and/or time problems of being created in a major crunch. The last couple episodes weren't too well received, and so the ending got rewritten in a pair of films. And then a few years later, Hideaki Anno and Gainax decided to do the whole thing again over almost 15 years with the Rebuild movies.Plus manga and light novel adaptations/reimaginings. Plus this that and the other thing (not to mention Anno's Shin Godzilla, Shin Ultraman, and Shin Kamen Rider, which are a similar, but different thing).

All of these versions tackle the same basic material, but due to different sized budgets and teams and Anno's shifting interests and feelings as a person, they can get pretty different. One of the things I really like about it is seeing how each iteration and even just escalations within each version feel like they're usually trending toward something truer to who Anno is at the moment of creation (even if I think most of the endings are bad). 

If you have an idea you like, roll with it. Chances are, you've got something, otherwise why would you be interested in the first place. But in recognizing your limitations--be they budget or time or skill or editorial interference or whatever--know that you can also keep an idea in your back pocket to try it again, but better. 

The Walkyverse If you haven't taken the time to read all of Willis' webcomics, that's probably fine. They've been at it for like 25 years at this point, so it's a lot to catch up on. The long and short is there was an initial series: Roomies! about college roommates. That ended and some plotlines were refocused/retconned into a new series, It's Walky! That then spun-off into two other series: Joyce and Walky! and Shortpacked! And a ways into all of this, David looped back around to the initial concept of a story about college freshmen trying to acclimate to their new circumstances (and being semi-autobiographic, but now with the clarity of hindsight) and started Dumbing of Age. Most of the cast are folks from the various previous series, but reimagined and tweaked to fit the college plot. Some personality traits remain pretty true. Some ideas that just got touched on waaaaaaaay back in Roomies! are refined and actually executed deftly. 

There aren't a lot of ideas I had when I was young that I revisit and see if I can't make work better now with my expertise and skills, but there are definitely some things that I've poked at here and there. And for some of my more recent ideas, there've been lots of things I've revisited. Sometimes it's a concept that I feel like I'm getting to the 95 yard line on but can't quite get across to the goal, and so I see if I can't run a different play and break it. Sometimes it's a particular script that I look at and even if it is recent, I feel isn't terribly representative of how I write. But when I go through these things, I always try to make it a new doc so I can still go back to the old and see just how and what I've refined that might make it's way back or that might make itself into yet another revision. 

I think there's sometimes an assumption that live performance is the only medium in which you get a different variation of a work every time. But you can absolutely revisit your older comics works and ideas and find some new angle on them or reason to bring back something that never quite clicked when you did it in the past. 

Wrap It Up 

In some ways, you can even do this in licensed or corporate comics. Brian Cronin has a fun series over at CBR called Wrap it Up! Each entry looks at two comic series wherein the plotline of one series ultimately had to be resolved in another. I think the most recent--at time of writing--was about Adam Warlock's series getting canceled and some of those plots getting resolved in Hulk. I bring this up because while obviously starting from scratch is an option, sometimes you'll be given a chance to finish your story in another way: be it a different series or a one-shot or OGN. I've even occasionally seen stories more-or-less wrapped up across universes by using similar characters (I swear one of the Wrap it Ups is about a Namor story that gets "resolved" in Aquaman because it was easier to do a light retelling and then resolve the story there than it was to get new Namor stuff going at Marvel). 

A good idea shouldn't go to waste, and there's often going to be some way to circle back around to it. It's just a matter of keeping those ideas in sight so they don't get lost. 

And, as an extra little note: I have said before, when I'm scripting, I tend to practice bad habits. I do a lot of one-and-dones where I take a single pass and then have someone else read it and only make revisions after I've had someone else do a pass. I also do a lot of batch scripting with rewrites--which is where I will write say the first 5-10 pages of the script, leave it for a bit, plot out the back half, reread that first section and do my first round of rewrites, then finish the script having sometimes almost completely rewritten the first batch of pages. Unless something is actually egregious, I tend to believe you shouldn't revise until you've finished a draft and can see the thing in it's entirely. And, no, you probably shouldn't just get stuck revisiting and rewriting the same script or redrawing the same page again and again until you get it right. But maybe down the line, you'll get the chance to truly do it all over again, the way that reflects you now.  

What I enjoyed this week: Blank Check (Podcast), Craig of the Creek (Cartoon), Honkai Star Rail (Video game), My Adventures with Superman (Cartoon), The Broken Room by Peter Clines (Book), Crime Scene Kitchen (TV show), Dumbing of Age (Webcomic), Solve This Murder (Podcast), Cruel Summer (TV show), Praise Petey (Cartoon), The Loveliest Time by Carly Rae Jepsen (Album), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem (Movie).

New Releases this week (8/2/2023): Nothing from me!

New Releases next week (8/9/2023): Nothing from me! Couple of slow weeks, but lots coming up the pipeline! 

Announcements:  I've mentioned it a couple of times, but I'm largely done with the con circuit for the year. There might be a thing in a couple of weeks, and if so, I'll be letting folks know ASAP! We're not going to be at Tucson Comic-Con this year. Love that show, but just didn't work out right. And at the moment of writing, I don't *think* I'll be at NYCC. 

This is kind of a soft announcement following them mentioning it on their Twitch stream, but Becca and I are working on a comic. We're co-plotting, I'm scripting, they're drawing, and their friend Duke who has lettered a bunch of their smutty stuff is on-board when we get to that part of things. If you're curious to learn more...

...Maybe join my Patreon! You get to see developmental stuff from this, and other work-in-progress projects. Plus this same blog, but without the part plugging my Patreon! And even more extra stuff! ORRRRR... join Becca's Patreon because they're also going to be sharing some of this comic developmental stuff! 

Pic of the Week: The neighbor's cat was chillin in our complex's courtyard and I managed to sneak some pets. The kitty is pretty nice, but often doesn't let people approach, so it was a nice treat. Or maybe it was the kitty's way of apologizing for frequently coming and hanging out on our landing and driving my cats wild. 

[novelmonger]

Fortnight of Books, Day 2

Most surprising (in a good way) book of this year?

To Own a Dragon: Reflections on Growing up Without a Father by Donald Miller. I think I wrote this down on my list years ago when I was going through the section of my library on fatherhood for research for my WIP, but I neglected to write down the subtitle, and therein lies the surprise. See, when I got to it on my list and checked it out, I discovered that it wasn't a fantasy book about dragons at all, but Donald Miller's autobiographical advice to men like himself who grew up without a stable father figure in his life. I was surprised, but decided to carry on reading anyway (even though he has a note in the beginning that his book is not for women, lol). But what a wonderful book! I really liked Miller's down-to-earth way of talking about things, and he had some solid advice. Bonus: He's a Christian, and he said right up front that that was going to be at the center of his story and any advice he had to give. I'm really glad I read it, even if it had nothing to do with dragons ;)

Most disappointing book/Book you wish you enjoyed more than you did?

Hmm. Maybe that would be Gutted: Beautiful Horror Stories, a collection of short horror stories from various authors. Some of them were really quite good - like one that was written in a choose-your-own adventure style, where you explore a haunted house. There was one I found truly terrifying, about a monster in a rock quarry next to a path the main character would take to go home when she was a kid; and, though she tells herself she's being silly, deep inside she's still afraid of it. Really strong visuals in that one. Unfortunately, I thought there were a lot more misses than hits in this one. Some of them barely even counted as horror, and some of them I wouldn't call "beautiful."

It also includes Neil Gaiman's "The Problem of Susan," which...yeah <_<

[lloronista]

BOOKS I READ IN 2023: REVIEWS

At the beginning of 2023, I made a resolution to read at least one new book each month. Life got busy and I didn't always keep up with my reading goals, but since it's the last day of the year, I wanted to do a brief review for each new book I read :P

JANUARY

Martita, I Remember You / Martita, te recuerdo - Sandra Cisneros

I have been a huge fan of Sandra Cisneros for many years now and quite honestly can say she's one of my biggest inspirations in the way I've developed my own skills as a writer. So of course I was more than excited when she announced her latest novella. Martita, I Remember You is a book that had me getting teary-eyed in the breakroom at my workplace when I would read it during lunch. Such is the way that Cisneros touches the heart so masterfully, with such profound and succinct prose. It's imbued with autobiographical aspects of Cisneros's life, but it's also very much a story for anyone who has long distance friendships, the way it captures that feeling of connection beyond place and time. Can't recommend this one enough, it's a short and very worthwhile read!

The Tea Master and the Detective - Aliette de Bodard

This one was a recommendation from Nami, and a very wonderful one! I hadn't read anything by Aliette de Bodard before, and even without having read the other installments in this particular series, I thought the worldbuilding was so vibrant and captivating that I didn't find myself feeling lost or in need of explanation beyond what de Bodard showed in her writing. One of my favorite elements of The Tea Master and the Detective was the cast of strong and interesting female characters, the sly and mysterious detective, Long Chau, being my favorite ^^ This one, too, was a rather short read, yet the thrill of a fast-paced adventure and murder mystery was no less amazing than you'd expect from a longer novel. Definitely recommend this one if you're looking for a sci-fi story that strays from the typical genre framework.

FEBRUARY

Dragon's Winter (1997 Uncorrected Proof) - Elizabeth A Lynn

Well, this was me cheating a little bit ^^'' I've read EAL's Dragon's Winter as well as the sequel novel probably at least ten times, as it's one of my all time favorite books. And each time I re-read it, I absorb something new - a little detail in the setting that recolors my memory, or way a line of dialogue is spoken here and there that gives a certain inflection. But when I came across a copy of the original uncorrected proof version of this novel, I couldn't get my hands on it fast enough 😆 In a way, it was like engaging with the material with fresh eyes, taking in the differences and aspects that hadn't yet been fully decided on by the author in the final draft. One aspect that I observed in the original uncorrected proof of DW is how EAL seemed to allow one of the main characters, Azil, more insight into his emotions and inner thoughts than in the final edition of the novel, which was something I relished greatly. Why she made the decision to edit those passages out, I wonder about; perhaps she intended for Azil to be more enigmatic, to have less of a POV or central narrative position in the story. I wonder about this, because I think making Azil more in the foreground of the story makes thematic sense. Dragon's Winter is, on its surface, a story about twin brothers (one a dragon changeling, the other a wizard) who go to war with one another. But on a deeper level, it's about the complicated love story between Karadur and Azil: their friendship, one's betrayal of the other, the way they must pick up and mend the pieces afterwards. They both undergo a transformation of sorts, of multiple sorts. Their relationship is the lifeblood of the story, and I felt that even more intensely in EAL's original version of the novel. As I said, this is perhaps my favorite book of all time, and so I definitely recommend this one tenfold, especially to anyone interested in queer fantasy stories!

APRIL

The Hacienda - Isabel Cañas

Oh my, how I adored this one! Isabel Cañas is probably my favorite author I've discovered this year, and I'm so excited for everything she's going to publish in the future as well ;v; The Hacienda is a book that has something to offer for pretty much everyone - gripping, graphic horror, amazingly researched history, compelling and interesting female characters, and a really nicely written romance. Regarding the latter, I was actually surprised how into the relationship between Beatriz and Andrés I became xD (like yeah, girl! get that hot priest!! 🔥🔥🔥) At its core, The Hacienda is a take on the haunted house genre, rife with the ghosts of Spanish colonization and Mexico's war for independence. I really enjoyed Beatriz as a horror story protagonist and a Final Girl; there was a strength and ambitiousness to her that made it really easy to root for her. And I loved Andrés as the parallel protagonist across from her, as well as his dual role as a spiritual guide to his community, not only as a Catholic priest but as a curandero in touch with Indigenous perspectives of curses and spirits. There was something really refreshing about the way Cañas writes them working together to uncover the source of the haunting. I will warn that the ending has more of a bittersweet mood rather than a happy ending, but overall it's a very enjoyable read!

JUNE - JULY

The Left Hand of Darkness - Ursula K. Le Guin

Wow, where to even begin. This was the first full-length novel by Le Guin that I read, by Suri's recommendation, and it completely blew me away with what Le Guin had the ability to accomplish in her worldbuilding. I truly don't think I've ever encountered another science fiction story that utilizes its genre to encapsulate such a sincere and complex reflection of humanity and society that The Left Hand of Darkness achieves. For one thing, Le Guin's background in anthropology shines in the way she positions Genly as a lens through which the reader similarly takes in such a vastly different alien culture, at times grappling to understand them and at other times seeing them as though through a mirror reflection of ourselves. Genly's dynamic with Estraven, in particular, and the way it changes over the course of the story, acting as the emotional current of their combined journeys, was most captivating part for me. I know TLHoD has sort of become more widely known on tumblr for the way it explores gender and sexuality, which it does quite extraordinarily. But I think, at the heart of it, TLHoD is a story about storytelling, the way it promotes understanding in a way that ascends scientific observation of another culture. This is certainly a book I will be re-reading many times in the future, absorbing more new tidbits each time.

SEPTEMBER

Killers of the Flower Moon - David Grann

The one non-fiction book I read this year, and what a fascinating one. Placing it in the genre of true crime seems somewhat inaccurate, as this story is so much larger than the narrative of murder and corruption, but a real life horror story of the violence wrought by white supremacy. Killers of the Flower Moon covers only part of a historical era that saw a widespread conspiracy to seize the headrights of Indigenous people from the Osage nation, who after being forcibly displaced and moved to a reservation, were found to be on land that was rich with oil. Needless to say, this is not a part of history that gets taught in American history classrooms. So I found Grann's relaying of the Osage murders to be educational as it was gripping, sorrowful, and meticulous in its outlaying of all the different factors that went into this tragedy, the disenfranchisement and dehumanization of an entire group of people, all for the sake of sating the avarice of another group of people. Since the film adaptation's release, I have seen some members of the Osage community, as well as other Indigenous people, critique both the film's and novel's centering of white characters in the story. I can certainly see how Grann spent a lot of the novel focused on the early FBI's involvement in the investigation, at the detriment of making Osage characters like Molly more prominent. If anything, I think KotFM works as an effective starting point for anyone wanting to learn more about this part of history, passing from this work to those written and spoken by Osage voices.

The Haunting of Alejandra – V. Castro

Okay so as soon as I saw the premise of this novel announced, and from an author whose other works I really enjoyed, I was sold right away. Anyone who knows me knows I'm obsessed with the ever-evolving figure of La Llorona and her tragic, haunting narrative. And this take on La Llorona, as with many of Castro's other decolonial reimaginings, was amazingly refreshing. For one thing, it blew me away how Castro's Llorona was not just a ghostly figure, but almost more of a demonic entity - only to then be revealed to be something so much stranger, an interdimensional being that feeds on grief. I also found the titular character of Alejandra to be just as refreshing of a heroine - older, anxious, in an unhappy, thankless marriage. She's worn out in the beginning, fractured by trauma and disconnected from her heritage, her family history. Castro has a way of using horror and subjects of trauma in her novels to be transformed into something cathartic, and it's no different here as Alejandra finds healing and strength in order to protect her children from this monstrous Llorona, to save herself from the same fate. I 100% recommend this one to anyone else who grew up with folktales of La Llorona and other boogeymen, this version is definitely worth the read!

OCTOBER

She Who Became the Sun – Shelley Parker-Chan

Every now and then, I come across a book that I can clearly see is good, but just not for me. I finally read She Who Became the Sun after seeing a lot of hype on social media, and plenty of rave reviews from some people I follow on here. But as much as I really wanted to like, even love, this novel, I just could not get myself into it. And as for why I couldn't get into it, I have to admit I'm still not entirely certain; you would think that a fictionalized queer drama based on Chinese history with fantasy elements would be the very essence of my cup of tea. The prose was beautiful, the dialogue flowed well. I think the major issue for me, however, lies in the pacing. At the halfway mark of the book, I still really wasn't captivated by any of the characters very much, or the plot - the latter hadn't actually moved along very much, in fact. Even at three-quarters of the way through, I was still desperately waiting for something to grip me by the shoulders and make me pay attention. Additionally (and others who read and loved this novel may disagree with me on this), I actually think much of the first chunk of the book could have been heavily edited down, or even just cut away entirely and relayed through flashbacks. Most of Zhu's time at the temple during her childhood could have been mentioned elsewhere, or visited briefly as she senses herself becoming more ruthless later on (really, the two most important scenes in that whole section were when Ouyang burned down the temple, and earlier when she thought of murdering one of the teacher monks). The way that the sudden rebellions were so quickly squashed, the way characters were swiftly and brutally removed from the story, seemed more like an attempt at shock value than actually serving to raise the stakes or move the story forward. But anyways, to conclude this off: I can see why lots of people did enjoy this novel, it certainly has all the right the elements of tumblr's next favorite book, after Captive Prince and The Raven Cycle. But I think in order for me to have liked it, it would have required a different editor behind the writing process, someone who encouraged Parker-Chan to cut down the excess and make the story flow better overall.

NOVEMBER

Guardian / Zhen Hun (Vol. 1) – Priest

I had heard of this series when it was a live action drama you could find on youtube, but reading the translated first volume this year has made me totally head over heels for the story and characters. Guardian has quickly become one of my favorite Danmei, set in a world where the mundane and the supernatural frequently collide and it's up to a paranormal detective agency to handle these matters. I especially love the way Priest balances the setting with dark, macabre subjects with moments of light-hearted humor. But amid the adventurous aspects of the story, the central conflict mainly involves the budding romance between Zhao Yunlan and the mysterious Shen Wei. The romance is delightful to read, and I think their personalities are what make them really compelling, when they're apart and when they're together. I'm excited to read more of this series when the English versions get released ^^

DECEMBER

Vampires of el Norte – Isabel Cañas

Another Isabel Cañas novel, and just as enjoyable of a read! Just like The Hacienda, Vampires of el Norte blends history and horror, portraying the Mexican-American War through its effect on hacendados being violently forced from their land by Anglos - and also being preyed on by vampires. Even more so than in The Hacienda, Cañas has a masterful way of building and sustaining suspense in this story. Despite it being a non-traditional form of horror, the danger looming all around of vampires, and also of violent Anglos, persists throughout. As someone who loves vampire literature, I was really impressed with how Cañas uses vampires here as an allegory for colonization/displacement, and the way that several characters in the novel at first mistake vampirism for a kind of susto. Furthermore, I thought it interesting how the vampires of this world are much more animalistic than the suave, intellectual type of vampire you see often in vamp literature. Rather than being evil or demonic, they're almost neutral in their methods of hunting, more like predators that are solely motivated by hunger, as one would view a wolf or puma. The way that these vampires are weaponized by Anglos almost seems to reference the way that Spaniards would train their large, European breeds of dogs to maul Indigenous peoples during the conquest - a connection that remains in line with Cañas's decolonial themes. Also like The Hacienda, the characters here are written wonderfully, their dreams and fears focusing the reader in with their emotional currents. Nena and Néstor's tumultuous romance takes center stage, the novel opening on the tragedy that splits them apart for nine years. I loved that there were so many layers to their love for each other, the sweet and innocent puppy love they had as children, the different ways they felt anger and betrayal by the parts of their lives around each other that they couldn't control, the moments of heady sensuality and heated bickering while on their journey home, and the fact that they both have to literally and figuratively fight to be with each other. I think Cañas had a lot of fun writing Nena and Néstor's relationship, and it was definitely fun to read ^^

Those were the books I read in 2023! For 2024, my main goal is to read through all the Danmei I've been piling up 🤭

[rumoursfromines]

Sylvia Plath, born 1932, was an American poet, novelist, and diarist. She was extremely prolific writer and throughout her short life produced over 400 poems, a novel, several short stories, and many journals and letters. A lot of her work, especially her more famous works, deal with mental illness and what it was like to be an ambitious woman in an age where women couldn't even have their own credit cards.

Her biographical background, I think, is one of the things that make her relatable to modern audiences. Sylvia Plath had a complicated childhood. She lost her father at eight years old to illness and was raised by a chronically ill single mother who struggled financially. This pushed Plath to outperform all of her classmates and to start earning her own money by sending her poetry out to magazines from a young age. At the same time she lived a very fulfilled social life with plenty of friends and dates. She was also very upfront about not wanting to be reduced to a mother and housewife in her future, defying expectations for women in her day and age.

By all accounts, Sylvia Plath was an extremely interesting writer. However, with such a large selection of texts to choose from, it can be difficult to pick a place to start. Which is why I've decided to compile all of my Plath knowledge into this (hopefully somewhat complete) post. Below the cut you will find brief summaries of her important works sorted into different categories. Happy reading :)

Disclaimer: I've seen many people on social media be taken aback by some of the themes in Plath's work, especially the racism and the holocaust imagery present throughout her work. I feel like for some people this might be useful to know before they start to read. Plath was a white American writing in the 1950s, so common social attitudes will be reflected in her work. It's important not to internalise her own bigotry as you read. Keeping this in mind, I still think her work is worth your time and attention.

the basics:

Ariel is probably Plath's most famous poetry collection. It centers around the themes of gender, death, and rebirth. The first edition of this collection was published posthumously and edited by Plath's husband. The collection was restored to the order Plath originally intended poems to be in in 2005 and published with a preface written by Plath's daughter, Frieda Hughes.

The Bell Jar is Sylvia Plath's only published novel. It is a semi-autobiographical account of her 1953 New York internship with Mademoiselle, a lady's magazine. The main character, Esther Greenwood, is meant to be having the time of her life working for a fashion magazine in New York until things get too much for Esther to handle. A large chunk of the novel is dedicated to Esther's complicated recovery from depression.

the niche:

Three Women is both a poem and a radio play. It tells the stories of three women in a maternity ward, all handling their motherhood differently. It is included in the poetry collection Winter Trees.

The Colossus is the only poetry collection Plath published in her lifetime (so automatically the only one where she had full artistic control over the content of the book). The poems here discuss topics such as about death, trauma, belonging, and womanhood.

Crossing The Water is a poetry collection that was published posthumously, along with Winter Trees, by Plath's husband Ted Hughes. These collections contain the poetry Plath wrote in her last creative spurt before her death. CTW centers around the themes of womanhood, depression, and endings (do you sense a recurring theme?), whereas WT deals with family dynamics and motherhood.

the extra reading:

The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath edited by Karen V. Kukil were published in the year 2000 and provide insight into Plath's inner life and context for a lot of her work, since much of it was inspired by events, be they important or insignificant, of her life. These journals range from 1953 up until 1959. The time between the last surviving journal until her death is covered by fragments, as Plath's very last journal was destroyed.

Red Comet by Heather Clark might be the single most detailed biography of Sylvia Plath on the market right now. It covers everything from her ancestors' immigration to the state, her parents' experiences in school, and the aftermath of Plath's death. It is definitely not a casual read (1000+ pages) but definitely worth it if you find yourself fascinated by Plath's work.

Pain, Parties, Work by Elizabeth Winder is a partial biography of Plath's time spent interning for Mademoiselle 1953. It paints an interesting picture of the writer, portraying her as a motivated young woman with a fulfilled social life who struggled with her mental health nonetheless. It's much shorter than Red Comet (<300 pages) and provides interesting an background for The Bell Jar.

Obviously there will always be more things by and about Sylvia Plath to read. Her letters, for example, have been released in two different editions: a two volume collection of the letters written throughout her life and another collection of letters written from England to America, edited by Plath's own mother, Aurelia Plath. I hope my little selection can help you find your way around Plath's bibliography. Happy reading :)

[lyna91fr]

Book Thoughts - Dans les fôrets de Sibérie (Consolations of the Forest: Alone in a Cabin in the Middle Taiga) by Sylvain Tesson

It all started with a quote that Namjoon shared on IG, from the book "Dans les forêts de Sibérie" (Consolations of the Forest: Alone in a Cabin in the Middle Taiga) by Sylvain Tesson. I don't know whether he read the book, but since it was on my reading list...

Note before we start: This is going to be a French and English thread. There was no way I would have read this author's work in English! So, if you have any questions, feel free to ask them.

This is an autobiographic story, with a simple pitch: the author decides to fulfill a dream - to live as a hermit for six months in a small wood cabin next to the Baikal lake in Siberia, before he turns 40. The book follows his journey, his introspective experience, as a diary.

This book is a gem! The poetry and the wordplay is beyond beautiful. While I wanted to share many quotes, the translations did not deliver the impression I had in French. An example: "Pointillé des pas sur la neige : la marche couture le tissu blanc."

The translation goes: "Footsteps dot the snow Walking sets short black stiches into the white cloth"

The English version does deliver the global feeling though, but yeah...

The author learns the ways to survive in this remote place, compares his hermit daily life to what he would do in his fast Parisian life, reads a lot (brought TONS of books with him). He gradually sets in a routine, recording and writing down his experience and his thoughts. Days go by slowly. Time does not have the same meaning there.

"Time wields over the skin the power water has over the earth. It digs deep as it passes."

In fact, everything he writes is not only deeply meaningful, but you can visualize his words so easily in your mind.

"Time wields over the skin the power water has over the earth. It digs deep as it passes."

"If nature thinks, landscapes express the ideas... There would be the melancholy of forests, the joy of mountain torrents, the hesitation of bogs, the strict severity of peaks, the aristocratic frivolity of lapping waves."

Another example of this "visual representation" of the author's way of writing:

"When the lake is as slick as oil, the reflection is so pure that you could misread which half of the mirror image was which... The reflection is the echo of the image; the echo is the image of the sound."

Apart from the external part of the daily life, there is also the introspective journey. The author wonders what he will find if he looks inside. That's another reason why he chose to go there, alone.

"The courageous course would be to face things: my life, my times and other people... What am I?"

I don't know whether NJ read that book, or just the quote from somewhere else, but I was surprised to read about another book NJ posted on IG in this book too. But then, as I mentioned previously, the author read a lot during his 6 months...

"Addressing the young poet Franz Xaver Kappus, Rainer Maria Rilke writes in his letter of 17 February 1903: 'If your daily life seems poor, do not blame it, blame yourself that you are not poet enough to call forth its riches"

Speaking about quotes, this is the one Namjoon put on IG, with the original text in French:

"Ecoutant la musique de la houle, je regarde griller mes poissons embrochés sur des pics de bois vert en pensant que la vie ne devrait être que cela : l'hommage rendu par l'adulte à ses rêves d'enfant."

Who else but the author to give you an idea of what he felt and wrote in his book? I found a very short interview on YT with some snippets of the documentary that he did while living there. He speaks English fluently.

The French documentary on the author's experience, is complementary to the book he wrote. Here goes the English version.

There is also a 2016 movie called "In the Forests of Siberia" and while it is a great movie, it's not the original story from the book but an adaptation with a new character. The music is hauntingly beautiful and matches perfectly the visuals. Here goes the trailer of the movie:

Do I recommend the book? Yes! I really enjoyed escaping to this hermit life in the first days of the year! If you can, I recommend reading the French version. Maybe watching the short interview will help you understand the mindset of the author too.

[ericleo108]

Blog Navigation 2024

“No man is free who cannot control himself” - Pythagoras

Blog Navigation List: 2023, 2022, 2021, 2020, 2019

Last Updated 12/27/2024

Click here if you're a book agent - This is a short post for book agents with links and summaries to samples of established and potential books

Summary

This is my blog navigation post that will be pinned to the top of my profile in 2025. To see all posts in chronological order visit the archive which is also the “menu” or hamburger icon in the upper left-hand corner on the web. Whether its hip-hop lyrics, non-fiction books, or autobiographical blog posts, I’m a prolific writer. I make these navigation posts at the end of the year to give a wrap-up and a look back on the year and give a little preview of the coming year

I was posting the “off week’s” Sunday updates at the beginning of this year here on tumblr but I decided I would only post music releases, cosmic luve logs, non-fiction treatises, and the occasional promotion from now on. I forgot to mention in the last (2023) Blog Navigation that I did a Word of the Day rhyme every day for months in 2023. It got no traction so I decided to stop doing it. Here is a YouTube playlist of the run, or check out the archive where I posted one month of them here on tumblr.

I still post a long-form sunday update to Youtube (@LyceumRecordz) every Monday, it used to be on Sundays and recently moved to Monday in November. Follow along with the weekly updates to see how everything unfolds.  (You can find the Weekly Update YouTube playlist here.) I currently shoot the weekly update live on instagram on Mondays at 9am est. I also currently go live on instagram on Fridays at noon est for a listening party of the week’s new track.

My book “108 The Story of Discovering Earth’s Consciousness” is still fundamental in understanding my story, perspective, and the content I talk about here in the blog. I’m going to leave the CosmicLuve.com log posts first again this year. They are the only series I have really been keeping up with. Spoiler alert… the 108 book is about how I think the planet is conscious and the evidence for it. In the cosmic luve log we practice sentientism and assume the earth is telepathic, trying to communicate, and would do so by guiding evolution. In the cosmic luve logs I show how this manifests through select attractive females semantically reflecting my life and work. 

I’ve been focusing on music this year. My first release in January 2025 will be my 160th track and 100th release. I’ve been releasing since August 2021 and twice a month since April 2022. I now release once a week or more. I released 82 tracks in 2024, 8 of which were doubles (re-releases of the same track), over 34 releases. I already have the first four months of tracks (almost) uploaded for release in 2025. I’m releasing a track every week in 2025 with an album every month for at least the first four months. I am limited by the costs it takes to run such volume. 

I did not write any treatises this year. I did not do an update of FarmingHumans.com or NouveauEconomic.com althoug I plan to this year. I have been writing the book for CanAndWillDo.com and have posted what I have for the intro so far linked in the treatises section. In 2025 I will be focusing on making content for social media to promote my music and writing my next book or two. This means I should have more philosophy posts coming soon.

I’m spending some time writing queries to secure a literary agent. Over the year I started and wrote a 20-some page business plan for Lyceum Recordz my LLC. If I don’t make enough money off my book, I want to try and find an investor for the business. 

Cosmic Luve posts: (In Chronological Order)

In Last year’s blog navigation (2023), I listed all of 2023’s cosmic luve entries. This year I will list the 2024 entries. Emma Watson, Taylor Swift, Hailee Steinfeld, Selena Gomez, and Jenalle Monae are my main cosmic luves although Taylor and Hailee were the stars this year. I don’t know if I’ll still get coincidences from these women in the future considering Hailee and Selena are now engaged and Taylor seems very happy. Hailee is now just my spirit animal. The track “Hi Selena” from the coming 2025 “Kyle Beats Collective 2” release has been uploaded since November of 2024.

Cosmic Luve May 2024 - The Tortured Poets Department: In this entry, I break down the coincidences and semantics that reflect my work in Taylor Swift’s “The Tortured Poets Department (TTPD)” I still think “Down Bad” is about me, the similarities are surreal. You’d know this if you read my book

Cosmic Luve Aug 2024 - Cherries: In this entry, I give a further look at Taylor’s TTPD and talk about how Hailee fulfilled Gaia’s predicted semantic, cherries. 

Cosmic Luve Dec 2024 - Strandbeest: This entry became the latest pivotal post. I talk about October and December semantics relating the two cats on my shirt in the “Is it Love?” song to Selena Gomez and Hailee Steinfeld's engagement. It seems Gaia is asking Taylor “Is it Love?” I relate the semantics to the previous year’s “Deer” pivotal post. I also talk about ancient aliens and how Gaia might see evolution.

Releases

Releases on Fiense website

🕸️New Release Blog at FIENSE.com - The “New Release Blog” has moved EricLeo.org to Fiense.com. I still upload a blog post with every music release to my website Fiense.com and here at EricLeo108.com. They are in chronological order. Unlike linked below, some of the blog posts on Fiense.com are written by a professional SEO-copy writer. EricLeo.org is now just a squeeze page for my email list. Note: I re-uploaded “The Industry” album as singles because it got taken down by Spotify for “fake streams.” These are this year’s releases:

💿108 Album - This is the “108 The Album” blog post on Fiense.com. This album is currently for sale in the shop. The songs were made while the story in the book was taking place. The tracks on this album can be found on streaming services, but you can only find the complete album as a CD on my Feinse website. Read the post for a breakdown of each track on the album.

📀Party Politics - This is the blog post for “Pary Politics” on Fiense.com. This album is also currently for sale in the shop. The songs are my first swaray into political and socioeconomic raps as myself. The tracks on this album can be found on streaming services, but you can only find the complete album as a CD on my Feinse website. Read the post for a breakdown of each track on the album.

Releases on streaming 2024

Kyle Beats Collective - 6 track EP, all Kyle Beats,  contains the best-performing track this year

Check It Out - Chill Anno Domini beat about how I do hip-hop for the love

Kato & Wysh - 7-track album of edgy sociopolitical lyrics over Kato and Wysh beats

Campfire - 3-track EP inspired by the Ryini group about meeting your lover at a campfire

The Industry - 10-track album; has double meaning about music and economic industries

Your Sun - A spoken-word poem inspired by Emma Watson from the Sept 2022 Hope entry

Werewolf - A song about how my schizophrenia makes me feel like I’m howling at the moon

Coming Up - A song about coming up in business.

Charlotte’s Web - A themed song remade from The Chalice Mixtape about Emma Watson

Westside Connection - 6-track EP with and about how I find the West Coast inspiring

Heavy Hitters - 3-track EP that features some big-name and legendary artists

Theory of Love - Amiable track that aims to define and spread love, over a Tantu beat

YOU - Jolie feature; song based on John Gottmans “7 essentials for a successful marriage”

Can You Hear Me? - Specifically designed to bring awareness to global warming & effects

Pussy Poppin - 8-track sexually charged album made to be filthy for the sake of being dirty

Creepin - Sexually charged single that didn’t fit the vibe of the Pussy Poppin album

Bump This - 5-track EP over FEniko beats designed for parties, games, fun, & hype situations

Heart and Brain - Song illuminating the internal struggle between the heart and brain 

Chess - Positive, informative track over Ryini beat that didn’t fit MIster Congeniality

Mister Congeniality - 13-track album; songs are about women I find inspiring; Ryini beats

No Don’t Stop - Cosmic Luve response to Taylor Swift’s “TTPD” over a Russ-inspired beat

Be Mine - Cosmic Luve response to Gaia illuminating her using my cosmic luves as sirens

America - 4-track EP over acoustic guitar beats with lyrics way to real about America

America in Decline - About how the American people’s wealth is in decline due to inequality 

Big Carbon - Song about how gas, oil, and coal is big carbon and they should be in jail

Bomb FIrst - A double feature track about how America is gangster &, like 2Pac, bombs first

Cosmic Language - Mysterious message to one of my cosmic luve that is musically coded

Independent - A song about the struggles of being a broke artist

Honey - Edgy hardcore hip-hop with Kurupt feature in the lineage of “Atheist Raps.” 

Capitalism - Edutainment about capitalism from both perspectives thanks to the feature

Is it Love? - This is a fun cosmic luve response over a Ryini beat

The Cold - An intense Planet Asia feature with a cold war during feudalism feel

Luigi Mangione - A song from Luigi’s perspective exemplifying the reason for his actions

A Lesson - A song taking a defensive stance against confrontation in the industry

Already uploaded and scheduled to drop in 2025:

Be Like Kanye - Kayne diss; I hope it reaches him before it’s too late. Jan 03

The Method - An intense Anno Domini beat featuring DMX on political issues. Jan 10

Dad Jokes - A track from the KBC2 album. They are jokes dads can tell. Jan 17

Kyle Beats Collective 2 - 8-track album with various themes form my music. Jan 24

The Game is Real -  This is a Lil Wayne feature that is cosmic luve & socioeconomic. Jan 31

Stand Tall - Outlawz feature with sociopolitical lyrics. Feb 07

Bombastic - Violin sample about how people revere their chains. Feb 14

Global Warning - 7-track album; Desntiny beats; bring awareness to global warming. Feb 21

The Gun - Message to the violent youth of America that thinks guns solve problems. Feb 28

One Love - An uplifting double feature that spreads that one love. Mar 14

Hot Shit - Another double feature about being hot shit with fire lyrics. Mar 28

Randy - If you're a real fan. Play this to your friends first, and then your favorite. Apr 04

We Run It - Another double feature about the hip-hop game. Apr 11

Tantu Gems - 7 track album over Tantu beats that run the gamut of emotions. Apr 18

Posts and Treatise List:

Most of the treatises haven’t been updated for at least a year or two if not more. I think I’m going to do a new Nouveau Economics update on February 21st for the “Global Warning” album. I wanna make the next Farming Humans edition with a focus on the monetary system and the results of a central bank on society. Basically our whole economy is indebted to the Federal Reserve. It’s debt bondage because you can’t pay the principal and interest back with just the principal. This is why Thomas Jefferson didn’t want a central bank and hated Alexander Hamilton who did want one. I want to keep up with these series because the goal is to write a book with new editions semi-annually. Like William G. Domhoff does for “Who Rules America” but only about inequality for the laymen. 

I have re-established the “My Reckoning” post so I can find it when querying agents. Second is a blog post for Can and Will Do.” I definitely wanted to update this one because it was wildly inadequate. I have a lot of the book brainstormed and about half written; a lot of it is organizing and elaborating on the already established brainstormed content. I wanna set a goal to get the first manuscript for “Can and Will Do” done by the end of the year in 2025.

Old:

👨‍💻 My Reckoning - This post is part two from my book “108: The Story of Earth’s Consciousness.” Part one explains the first part of Knhoeing, celestial consciousness. Part two is my personal story from the time I graduated from college in 2010 until 2019 and explains why I think there is celestial consciousness. Knhoeing 2020 is a necessary prerequisite to understanding this story.

New:

💡CanAndWillDo.com 2024 - This is what I have written for the Intro of the book so far. This is the philosophy of possibility, perseverance, and sucess. I break down the philosophy of “Can and Will Do.” In the 🛠️2019 version, I discuss the “Can,” meaning you’re able and have the right mindset, and the “will” that drives us to action. I also briefly talk about how the philosophy applies to teaching and global warming.

😻My Favorites 2024 - For the last couple of years I have been doing a post that has all my favorite media on it, lIke my favorite late-night host, farming content, overall content, asmr or hip-hop content. It only grew by one list this year. I basically didn’t change about half of it. Here’s some info I forgot the put in… I don’t watch a lot of Justine Rhodes I just know he’s an expert in the field and I won’t unsubscribe. Some of these creators are my favorite but I don’t ever see them like Casey Neistat. He’s technically still creating, but he’s farther down the list because he’s not currently “running.” I watch a lot of the Creative Juice podcast I realized, which is hip-hop artist education. I love KallmeKris and her boyfriend’s videos, especially when they do videos together, but I don’t watch much of Kris anymore cuz she’s always doing crime content. I like Oompavile though. Rap Latte is also suddenly growing on me.

🏓 Spotify is a racket - Spotify keeps fining me for fake streams when I don’t buy them. In this post, I explain how Spotify is a racket that uses trickery to steal money from small artists. This is affecting many artists and I’m standing up for us all. I’m doing this to create a public case against Spotify and will be making a new post every time I get hit with “fake streams.”

Sociology:

🏚️FarmingHumans.com 2023 - This was the “American Inequality” song officially released in 2023 and posted as the official Farming Humans 2023 edition. In this post I talk about what socialism is, how money is speech, and how corporations are legal persons and farming humans for labor and money (through employment and consumption respectively).

🧾NouveauEconomics.com 2022 - In this post, I talk about how the economy needs to account for what the environment does naturally and give it a monetary value. A start is how certain parts of the environment, like Lake Erie, are being granted personhood. This will be updated semi-annually and can be found at NouveauEconomics.com

🍱 The Psycho Consumption Cage 2021 - In this treatise, I talk about how it’s hard to see environmental degradation that is not added to our economics, how you should be using your buying power strategically, how apex species need economic and congressional representation, some solutions, and examples of psycho tendencies from Christmas and hip-hop.

🏳️‍🌈 Gender Equality 2021 - In this essay, I break down gender equality into six categories: LGBTQ, Phobic, Sexual, Mental, Feminist, and Economic. To properly show the subject of gender equality I reference the 6 Netflix documentaries and linked and discuss related videos from Ellen, HeForShe, TED, Jordan Peterson, The World Bank, and the UN.

🏁 Dark Racism 2021 - In this treatise, I explain the science of racism, how it’s an arbitrary distinction that is socially constructed. Black people do have it worse due to institutionalized racism and white privilege. However, I talk about how black people create their own in-group morality around the word “nigga,” and my presented solution.  

🌎👣 Earth: Sustainability, How To Save Our Planet - If you want to know how to save our planet this post is the summation. Taking from the featured WWF video, I focus on a carbon tax and the three ways to save the planet. Along the way I discuss how it relates to The Psycho Consumption Cage.

Philosophy: 

🌍108 The Story Of Discovering Earth’s Consciousness (post) - This book is fundamental to understanding me and stands as the foundation in which I build my artistry. The book is nonfiction and autobiographical and about celestial consciousness, my personal story of struggling with schizoaffective disorder, atmospheric consciousness, sustainability, and eugenics, and finishes with what the number 108 means for the origins of life on Earth.

🚸🚜 Knhoeing 2020 -  The information is broken down into celestial consciousness, atmospheric consciousness, sustainability, and eugenics. Knhoeing states the planets, stars, and atmosphere are alive, and how humans can understand that through sustainability and eugenics. Knhoeing has to do with understanding your position in the universe and expresses and addresses human purpose through a eugenics goal. To survive & thrive as a species, we must support ourselves through healthy sustainability and breed to understand higher dimensions. 

🙏Sentientism 2022 - This post contains insights into my mind and the voice in my head, Gaia. Sentientism explores the belief (whereas knhoeing is the knowledge) that Gaia is conscious and communicating. I explain how sentientism is the religion of Gaia where you worship through action and create dogma through science and philosophy. If the planet Earth is conscious how would she try to communicate considering she has no mouth or ligaments? How would Gaia try to communicate? I postulate and explain how Gaia could be communicating through a kind of telepathic randonauting.

[anti-mlm-rambles]

Book Review: Empty at the Top

I bought Empty at the Top by Athena Dean Holtz as an autobiographical account of someone who was in a high position in an MLM before deciding it was spiritually empty and quitting. I knew going into this that the book was written by a Christian woman who found that her position in an MLM ran counter to her faith. Even with that foreknowledge, I was not prepared for how much of this book would be given over to Bible verses and advice on how to pray.

If, like me, you're interested in stories and first hand accounts of her time in an MLM, they are there, but I found she would frequently skim past the things that I was interested in learning more about to then spend paragraphs or pages preaching about how important it is not to be obsessed with worldly success, or similar. I did find that there were some interesting points. There was a section where she talked about how she would go about pitching her business opportunity, laying out the manipulative way she would talk in the recruiting meetings. It was especially interesting that she made reference to talking in these meetings about having family vacations and financial freedom, when only a few pages earlier, she'd been talking about having missed or cancelled many family vacations due to her work, and how she was spending more money than she was earning due to the need to project an image of success.

I found it frustrating how she would talk about the harms of MLM companies, because she seemed laser focused on the fact that people wanted to make money instead of have a relationship with god, or that they were in MLM meetings instead of church. There was almost no mention of material harm done, aside from once quoting the statistic about how most people in MLM companies lose money. It was clear that monetary harm and exploitation were barely a consideration, with the people losing hundreds or thousands of dollars or ending up in massive debt getting barely a passing comment, but people skipping church got pages of recrimination and Bible quotes.

I did find it interesting to hear the perspective of a deeply religious person talk about the way that people in MLM companies often use relationships in churches to find new recruits. Some of her comments about the way that relationships and friendships can be twisted and exploited were insightful.

There were also parts of the book that were interesting in a horrifying way, because she would make casual remarks about her life or relationship with her husband as though they were perfectly normal, but which seem awful to me. There were multiple comments made about obeying her husband in a way that implies she thinks a deeply unbalanced relationship is not only expected but correct, and a mention about dying and going to heaven at one point that implies she thinks wanting to die is a good thing. As someone who isn't religious, these offhand remarks were alarming.

This was a fairly short book, padded with excessive Bible quotes, but it did contain some interesting moments. It wasn't what I'd hoped it would be, but I shouldn't judge it too harshly when it was clear that the author was intending to have the book be as much around her Christian faith as her time in an MLM. I do wish she'd spent more time on the specifics of her activities in an MLM, but it was fine for what it was. If you can put up with having the Bible quoted at you every other paragraph and are interested in first-hand accounts of MLM recruiters, you might consider giving it a go.

I'd give it maybe 3 out of 5 stars. It's okay. It's got some merit but I can't recommend it wholeheartedly because of the overwhelmingly preachy approach the author takes throughout.