#but I am making it work somehow
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Definitely didn't mean to make you feel bad about wanting that! As I think you realize, but just making sure. And yeah again, I worry too quickly. Just wanted to send you some encouragement in case you needed it. I'll leave you to it, keep destieling destie! (Let me make up words okay 😅)
it's all good, anon! I am just glad we talked about it! thank you for being patient like that, that's nothing I take for granted :)
and I will try! I don't know if you are a big spn fan yourself, but if so, I hope you'll do the same! have a good day!
#and please. feel free to come into my inbox whenever#I don't mind talking about these things#and I appreciate your encouragement. I might have taken the spiraling thing too serious (I get a bit defensive when people try to tell me#how I am feeling or what my intentions are etc) that's definitely on me and I know that this wasn't your intention at all#I think it's super difficult to talk through asks anyway. but I feel like we made it work!#thank you for stopping by and leaving your asks in the first place :)#and I mean. it's been very obvious that I have been going through a bit of a rough time and trying to deal with a bit of a broken heart#but I am making it work somehow#i hope...#asks
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the real reason tmagp is on break 'til april 11th is so sam can observe ramadan without being chased by a murderous clown blob
#tmagp#tmagp s1#tmagp spoilers#the Magnus protocol#if for some islam-related reason this joke doesn't work plz tell me - i was thinking. i would like to see some content#exploring/including sam possibly being muslim considering his name and VAs ethnicity#and what better way to support that than make it myself?#joos yaps#samama#samama khalid#tmagp sam#but i am v much an outsider so lmk if i missed something#tbf. i cannot think of any way this could be somehow misconstrued. but you dont know what you dont know!
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By day, one way, by night another...⋆✴︎˚。⋆
{cr. 0613data, namuspromised, dwellingsouls}
#bts#btsgif#dailybts#btsedit#suga#yoongi#min yoongi#bts yoongi#bts suga#rékagif#usersky#so. i know this set is not aesthetically pleasing or cool to look at. but. ive been meaning to make a transition set like this one inspired#by so so many tiktok videos ive seen - sadly i couldnt make it work with my video editor and i dont have after effects so#i worked with what i have this is why its so wonky and bad but - i am kinda so proud of myself because this turned out better than i#imagined it would so i am posting it out of pure joy because i somehow made it work - in an ugly way but it works
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how nice it is if the phone headmage gave u actually has special magic attribute, where it has very shitty network on twisted wonderland universe, but actually very good to connect back and forth between your world to twisted wonderland
#just a what if#twisted wonderland#twst#twst yuu#twst mc#twst grim#sebek zigvolt#ace trappola#deuce spade#imagine u can throw things into yuu's coffin and it is magically sent to her world#and it'd be great if it works the opposite way too somehow#maybe it connected to a magical box that suddenly appears at yuu's room#who knows who knows#but with the power of headcanon everything can happen to make the separation less sad#one of those days one would try to fit their own body too into yuu's coffin jk or am i#yuu is a bit more loose in her own world#that's why her expression soften too#one day they will find a way to connect the two worlds#they will
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Because me and @briefle are insane we've both written short fics in the disco hermits universe! Here are some rough drawings of a moment from each of them.
LINK TO BRIE'S AMAZING FIC in which Etho gets a surprise confrontation in the Whirling-in-rags
LINK TO MY SILLY FIC in which Etho does a very dumb thing about his hair in the middle of the night
for the people who read my fic i have a very stupid addendum for you that is. practically canon
#hermitcraft#zombiecleo#ethoslab#bdoubleo100#(presumably. wink)#hermitfic#hermitcraft au#art out the oven#Disco Hermits AU#GOD I MADE HIM LOOK SO BAD WITH HIS HAIR DOWN. i tried to make my fic the equivalent of harry shaving but-#somehow i made myself realise that him with his hair down (his default state) IS SO BAD THAT THIS IS ACTUALLY BETTER???#and apparently i cannot help but make cleo a beautiful person whenever i draw them. heart emoji#anyway GO READ THE FICS i am fond of them and we both spent too long figuring out how to do work skins#[scheduled]
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thinking about how mulder loves to get scully a gift, usually terribly heartfelt, even if disguised as something flippant:
the superbowl vhs tape he brings her when she wakes up from her coma in one breath (and her deadpan "i knew there was a reason to live")
tickets for a football game to watch together in irresistible
bringing her flowers to the hospital in memento mori (he lies, saying he stole them from a guy with broken legs to make her laugh)
the birthday keychain in tempus fugit (and when she finds a meaning to it, he claims "i just thought it was a pretty cool keychain")
that is a man who is always thinking about her.
#you can just picture him at the store thinking “oh boy she's gonna love this :)”#i think the superbowl vhs one chokes me up the most because he's trying so hard to play it cool when he had just lost her#and he needs to break the ice somehow because he hates to put those big feelings into words#he's more into saying what he means with touch and subtext#it's as if he needed SOMETHING off of the shelf at the store to say “i'm glad you're back. i missed you. i hope you're well”#so he goes with a dumbass VHS she is never going to watch. just to see her recognize his coded declaration of love.#and that exhausted smile she reserves for his antics#and it makes me tear up! still! thinking about it!#i know love languages are problematic but i do think there is something underrated about giving gifts as an act of love#of having your thoughts for someone being represented with a physical object. making that love tangible. you can touch it.#(it works very well on me because i tend to assume if you're out of sight you're not thinking about me)#(so looking at a little trinket someone gave me is like oh!!! they actually are thinking about me often. enough to find this Thing)#anyway. that is my emotional ramble for the evening. please enjoy#AND DISCLAIMER: i am sure there are other examples of him giving gifts i forgot and that there are more yet to come#but as a reminder i have only seen up to s5 ep 3 so! pls no spoilers even if i do tag this for the general public#okay promise? promise no spoilers in the tags? thank youuuuu mwah#the x files#txf#msr#fox mulder
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The fact that Geeta Patel doesn’t know that F&B heavily implies that Elissa Farman took the eggs that would come to Daenerys’ hands and that Rhaena carries three eggs to the Vale, with one of them hatching to a dragon, thus leaving only two, and that GRRM made this decision purposefully, so that we know that Daenerys’ eggs don’t come from Rhaena, is disconcerting.
I’m starting to believe that the writers/producers/directors/showrunners have either never read Fire & Blood, or lack basic-level critical thinking skills.
#those eggs couldn’t have been the ones Daenerys got and GRRM told us that#but what’s the book anyway am I right?#I swear all those people in charge of creative decisions look at GRRM’s work with envy#why would you change what he wrote#it literally has a purpose#but they wanna make the difference somehow and appear smarter#just shut up you know nothing about the story and it shows#hotd critical#anti geeta patel#hotd writers#anti ryan condal#helaena targaryen#dreamfyre#hotd season 2#hotd#house of the dragon#hotd s2#house of the dragon season 2#greenqueenhightower#fire and blood#f&b#anti hotd
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The cutest reminder ever that the way family works in TSAMS canon is that two parties have to be in mutual agreement that they are family. If one party doesn't agree then they aren't family. Parties can revoke familial ties whenever they want and that means they are no longer family.
"Code Relation" theory is stupid because you're then implying that Eclipse is Sun and Moon's child. Which he isn't. Or that Killcode is somehow Moon's child and his brother at the same time that he's Eclipse, Lunar and Bloodmoon's "father" at the same time that they're Sun and Moon's grand children. Like, we're seeing the issue here, right?
Don't make things more complicated than it has to be. Just accept the fact that family is literally determined by a verbal agreement between two animatronics and nothing else because none of them were born from wombs. That means respecting canon when characters in canon decide that they aren't comfortable being family (like Eclipse) or just straight-up disown everyone (like Bloodmoon). It's okay to have headcanons, but don't try to push them onto canon.
#alex talks#tsams#tsams discourse#the sun and moon show#just respect canon#not everyone has to share your headcanon about how family should work#pushing headcanons onto people and claiming it's canon is rude#and really fucking gross too#let people enjoy canon without having headcanons that they don't like/agree with being shoved in their faces#istg if I see another argument as to why a harmless ship is “actually incest” because of “code relations” I'm going to scream#yes I am staring at the people who are making that claim about shadowplanet#code does not define family in this show have we not learned this already#if that were the case then most of the animatronics would be related because they were made by fazbear and that would be an issue#because a lot of them are dating like bros please open ur eyes and see how this stuff actually works in TSBS instead of#Pretending your headcanons are canon#again#it's fine to have family headcanons and the code relation headcanon but don't push it onto canon#that's so rude and annoying#also do you really think the VAs would joke about shadowplanet if they thought it was somehow incest#in any way shape or form#family doesn't work by “relations” it works by agreement#Solar wasn't family until he agreed to be family#and even then he was like “yeah a distant cousin or smth idk”#idk now I'm just#alex screams into the void#yeah#pop off king
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Happy Anniversary In Stars and Time!! Have some Friend Quest based drawings :D
(These have specific quote picks related to them! And there's also a long ramble on why I like those specific quotes below if interested)
(And by long, I mean roughly 2k+ words of proper ramble total, so be warned before clicking keep reading this link right here to the rb!!)
#in stars and time#isat#isat spoilers#<- edited now this is just act 3 spoilers for the art LMAO#isat mirabelle#isat isabeau#isat odile#isat bonnie#isat siffrin#<- i promise this is the last time in a long long time i tag someone who only shows up with their back turned#but in my defense they also are here four times so i think the tag is justified SADASFA#time for a messier secondary post underneath the first WAHOOOO#to start!! random art tidbits!! no one is looking at siffrin in these!!#mira and isa are looking away while odile and bonnie have their eyes closed#in my minds eye these are the A4 versions of the FQ so siffrin internally is Not Having A Good Time#i just thought itd be fun to incorporate somehow as an extra easter egg detail kinda!#also i tried to make the bgs mildly accurate to location in game and its the reason why isa got to have one (1) singular tree in the bg#laaast art tidbit is that i took a bit of a creative liberty with bonnies#well i did with all of them but still#since its not explicitly stated sif god up immediately after tripping they get to stay on the floor in the drawing#i just thought itd be fun for the drawing!!#moving onto general tidbits in addition to the time fun fact i also decided the posting time#specifically so itd be in the middle of me having back to back to back meetings so can't second guess myself in posting this HAHA#every time i post any form of text based ramble on characters or even headcanons i Fear#and YEAH i am probably just being overly nitpicky towards myself on analysis that can prob be read several diff ways cuz interpretation#but i really really really dont want to fumble so badly to the point of mischaracterizing anyone since i like them a lot!!#still working on getting over that but hey at least i am trying and thats all i can ask of myself i think!#okay now time to Lie Down im writing these tags after stream#tag talk over into q u go :]#partial pin
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coelacanter + socials
#amy mentioned that devyn's mullet was like someone chewed on it and the troll doll imagery would not leave me#infamous#infamous if#marlow locke#coelacanter#kaced#fake social media#i dont want to HEAR how out of touch i am i dont use instagram or twitter i had to guess at syntax/usernames#also the cropping for the group photo ended up so strangely with the instagram post format i ended up going with so i just#worked it into the comments section. same with iris' outfit i realized way too late she should've had something fancier </3#i thought rowan would be the type to point out something like that. he'd have a choice instagram with pictures cropped and edited perfectly#iris posts a photo of her and devyn and he'll comment 'very cute. were you asleep when picking this filter though or..?'#also i know this is funny to genuinely no one else but i briefly debated having maya make the fan name “the canners”#as if the band name was “can't-er” not “canter”#(they're just 'fishies') but i wanted to incorporate it somehow hence the gc name and that one fan's username#coelacanter? no. we coelacan... ner <3
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Pages from trying to keep a little sketchbook-scrapbook type thing going for two weeks lol. I gave myself specific rules in hopes they might all end up more cohesive/consistent seeming, but alas, scribbly chaos reigns, it seems
#sketchbook#scrapbook#Actually I feel like these are kind of incomprehensible in photo form like.. In person holding the book its easy to look at#but as images on this scale I feel like there's so much tiny little text and small scribles and stuff you'd have to 'right click > open#image in new browser tab > zoom in' just to actually really see the thing. which for 7 images is excessive lol.. so. probably not the best#medium for sharing really but. I suppose I thought they might look cooler lined up next to each other. The whole part of using a#limited color palette is so that maybe they kind of seem to have more consistent color schemes or something throughout. but I dont#know if they look all that 'related' or not. I think these types of challenges I have always sucked at because I am a being of clutter and#excess. I can't just do like one little simple nice looking design and have that Crisp Neat calligraphy with evenhanded perfect lines#and perfect symmetical composition and etc. etc. Like some poeple post very aesthetically clean and cohesive looking sketch#pages or something but I simply cannot hold back the brain impulse to add more. more. more. Fill every single blank space with color#or a little drawing or a sticker or something. I take away 500 things and there are still a million there. Even when I thik I'm being#'simplistic' I'm still usually being 2x more complicated and cluttered than the standard or whatever lol. I guess thats clear from my#outfits/costumes though too. Like whatever that saying is from that person about something like 'before you leave the house take off one#more accessory. you dont need it' for me is like.. 'before you leave the house. add 10 more accessories. and 6 more layers. and another'#AAANyway. I wonder if also maybe some people would try to plan theirs in a way to look good or something or like.. plot things on the page#before placing them. I did sometimes have a theme for a day kind of (like day 10 I ended up finding a few gold and green things and then#was like.. hey... what if I looked for a few other things and only used these colors today') but aside from that I was just slapping down#stickers randomly and working around them to fill the page. Maybe a lot of neat minimalistic asthetic design is about planning and#having a Vision set ahead of time. instead of just complete random whatever. doodling whilst watching youtube videos or eating lunch. It's#a miracle actually I've managed to not spill any food on the book the whole time. anyway.. I do wish the highlighter really showed up. the#scanner kind of makes the colors look VERY different to irl. But also it got much clearer images than just camera pictures of pages. alas..#..Still oddly enjoy the phrase 'Salisbury Steak gently kissed with industrial pollutants'#probably my favorite section of 'gluing random papers and things onto the page' lol#Also I wonder if it's super obvious that I literally never ever use references when I draw (save for the few freakish looking youtube#face sketches) since everyone is always in the same positions and looking very similar ghhb. This could have been a good opportunity to#work on not solely drawing from my mind and try to do more Dynamic Experimental scribbles. NO. Same exact eye for the 90th time#be upon ye. But I guess it was meant to be casual 'daily doodles'. True 'practice' would make it seem too effortful like a full project. hm#(lol the one decimated pencil in the set... never hand me a writing utensil. i will passively destroy it somehow. shaving the sides of a#pencil off with a knife or snapping a pen in half as a nervous fidget without even realizing i've done it. sorry to the drawing implements)
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I must admit it exhausts me a bit when people compare the interactions between the companions in da2 and veilguard and complain that the veilguard crew don't argue viciously enough or don't have enough fundamental unbridgeable ideological differences. like yeah it's almost like dragon age 2 is a game specifically about implacable human discord in all its forms and that's the theme the companions also build up under and provide a lens to look at. and perhaps. just maybe. veilguard is doing something different and also interesting thematically if you look at it for what it actually is, and its companions are playing into those themes instead (come become beside me my friend none of us have this figured out but at least we have each other along the way. you must struggle with who you are. despite the high high stakes on paper, veilguard (sometimes to its detriment, often to its advantage once you realize this is what it's doing) is really not that interested in outward conflict, between ideas or groups or individuals -- most of the real meat and potatoes is in the internal struggle of the characters with themselves and their identities, the ways they've been changed and also stay the same, it's weirdly deeply trans all the way to the depths of the narrative that way, as well as fundamentally being about trauma recovery. again, what you're ultimately fighting is not actually in the realm of elgar'nan and ghilan'nain at all, it's on the level of solas' despair and his regret over what he's done and who he's become).
tl;dr why are we pitting two bad bitches against each other etc. they're literally both pretty and I love them
#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#it's fine not to vibe with this game! but claiming it's only doing surface things while you are doing only the most surface read.....#well. I shan't be as snarky as my worse instincts might wish me to be. but c'mon give it an honest try#at least my many years of da2 love have trained me perfectly to die on unpopular hills I nevertheless personally treasure haha#I am Ready#not that there aren't big actual writing problems in the most classic of bioware styles -- look at the unfortunate fact#that ivenci is just. so factually objectively right in the crow storyline that they have to have him go full quisling/'somehow.#orsino still became a flesh monster' to discredit his pov and have you side with the crows. it's only the power of sexy stupid characters#that makes that in any way work. (but such is the power of teia and viago and lucanis' big puppy dog eyes that I go 'anything for you')#this was honestly to be expected though would you even recognize a bioware game without some absolutely unhinged#and baffling writing choices with the strangest probably unintented implications attached along these lines. it's like coming home
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i havent played dst in awhile what is that thing
new thing from the halloween update! They're called void masques i'm not sure if it's just for halloween or if it's a permanent feature actually but i think it's here to stay
basically it's those mask things! they spawn when rifts are activated in a world around nightmare fissure if i understood correctly? But basically those things will possess mobs and can even possess you the player if you die!
and apparently the characters have quotes for seeing their own possessed corpse, maxwell's says "Jack? Wait, no." ( thank you plushee for giving everyone the quotes when the wiki isn't updated yetttt )
#i'm saying APPARENTLY because i am TERRIBLE at don't starve and have never gotten to the rift thing#and i've tried everything but i'm just too stupid cuz making em spawn with commands doesnt seem to work#or at least idk the command to do it#forcing a rift to spawn is nice but i got unlucky and got other thralls than that one so huhh yeah idk#at some point i managed to get its mask appear on my face and like talk somehow??? idfk how i did that and cant replicate it so idfk#so while i sadly can't provide a screenshot of it the quote EXISTS in the files and that is GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME i gave up seeing it ingame#huhh yeah thats all i got to say#dst#i heavily reccomend people to go read the quotes regarding them it's alot of fun ngl#i'm a big dumdum so sorry for no in game screen of the quote oopsy
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imagine a tumblr dash for zombies during the apocalypse. zomblr.
#nico rambles #zomblr
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🥩 meatloverz Follow
fresh brains r so hard to come by today bro :(
🌫️ runrunrun Follow
brains? in this economy?
#i phrase like a joke but really #living humans are starting to run out fast
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✅ pollstovote Follow
Anon says they personally try to lunge to the face just to instill fear for their own amusement, but upon telling others as such they were told that´s “too extreme” and that they should “just focus on eating people”. Thus, anon wants to know where people like trying to bite others.
#poll #polls #tumblr polls #bite #biting #infections #infect #submitted poll ideas #pollstovote
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🌼 sunnydaisy Follow
I now understand how spiders georg likely felt omg
#the hunger the HUNGER #sorry moots I need to rebrand soon #sunny says
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🚷 wander-n-pick Follow
Funniest fucking shit happened today. I distracted a survivor trying to bash my head open by telling them the tumblr code aND THE FUCKER FROZE AND SLOWLY RESPONDED BACK. CORRECTLY. IT WORKED. IF I WASNT AS HUNGRY AS I WAS THEN I WOULDVE DIED AGAIN LAUGHINH
🌀 confusion-confuzzed Follow
YOU.
🚷 wander-n-pick Follow
oh my god
#HEY IM SORRY MAN #WELCOME I GUESS #should´ve known you´d come across this post sooner or later with how popular it got #holy shit
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🧑🏻 nico-the-overlord Follow
imagine a tumblr dash for zombies during the apocalypse. zomblr.
🧑🏻 nico-the-overlord Follow
hi so apparently this is a thing, fell down the rabbit hole of this place, then got attacked irl while distracted scrolling help
#nico rambles #zomblr #how do I tag #am a idiot
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💔 rottingphases🌔 Follow
“stop don´t hurt me” “I don´t want to get eaten” like it´s my fault you taste so delicious
#txt #5k #10k
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🕸️ dying-inwards Follow
Kind of sad yet ironic I haven´t felt so alive in years actually
#vent post
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🔺conehead Follow
horrid hunger plaguing my psyche, I must find a little treat to fix this posthaste
🔺conehead Follow
hopital (:<
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🐉 scabbingscars Follow
my toxic trait is thinking this song´s story now has a real chance happening to me
youtube
#I want to believe in romanceee! #still don´t want the relationship part but fuck something else pls #I´m so bored cornering and killing screaming people now
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📸 freeky-free Follow
yay yahoo brains and blood and love for all 🥰
🦄 glimmerhope Follow
people are literally loosing their lives and you make this type of post? disgusting.
📸 freeky-free Follow
no ohno spooky brains and evil blood and sad for all 😰
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#I am going to pretend for a second wifi/electricity still works somehow and zombies could still type on their phones and devices#lets be real everyone (live or undead) would still try to blog even at the end of the world at least#nico rambles#fake tumblr dash#I´ve wanted to make one of these for a while#long post#fake tumblr post
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So, is Decembersville a thing or what?
Decembersville is alive, if different.
It will show up again soon, horrors permitting.
#countask#for those who dont know: made an improv oc prose on deviantart when i was a teenager. it was called Decembersville.#and for the 0 to 1 people who somehow remember: it is uncannily different now so lets see where this heads.#i am working on multiple freelance projects so unfortunately this wont be a strong year for posting personal projects.#but i wont leave this world till Sophia makes it back home.
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okay I’ve seen a lot of posts about sterling just being crowley and. guys. the implications just hear me out 😭😭😭
bending lore slightly here BUT let’s say crowley’s body was once inhabited by a human and crowley is possessing the body (maybe he kills the initial inhabitant bc he doesn’t care)
but he still has the guy’s memories. he doesn’t bother keeping up appearances with his ‘ex wife’ because he is too busy building up his hell empire. BUT for some reason he can’t quite identify, he still feels something towards his ‘daughter’. he lets the divorce happen and doesn’t feel the need (or desire) to fight for custody, but he can never quite forget her, to cast her out of his mind for good
some hijinks ensue with the leverage team. it’s mostly because even a grind culture demon wants some off time every once in a while, and for him the insurance investigator stuff is more of a hobby. interacting with the leverage crew is very low stakes for him, and honestly, quite amusing. they aren’t on his level power-wise, but that ford character gives him the mental exercise he hasn’t experienced in, well, he can’t even remember
he can feel their frustration and anger when they learn he has become employed by interpol and feeds off it. it’s great, and relaxing in a way he is never able to achieve while conducting hell-related business
one year he gets wind that olivia is in a really bad situation associated with his ‘ex wife’s’ new husband. he’s selling vital hardware to terrorists, and while that might actually be the kind of chaos he would normally support or be entertained by as the king of hell, something feels wrong about letting olivia stay anywhere near that man
he calls upon the body’s adversaries. he wouldn’t admit it, even under duress, BUT he feels slightly fond of them. nate for the three dimensional chess they play, sophie for her ability to charm and disguise, parker for her chaos and slightly unsettling nature (it’s the autism swag and being bad with human interaction but he doesn’t know that lol), hardison for his unapologetic intelligence and eliot for his hardened violent past and take-no-shit persona (he’s fun to tease)
they perform exactly as he expected, right into his carefully crafted plan. and then olivia is under his care and things get more complicated. he keeps her FAR, FAR away from anything related to the supernatural (heh). no one can find out about her, ESPECIALLY not those imbecile hunter brothers (if for nothing else than the embarrassment in revealing he has a weak spot)
not sure how to work it into this post but I also want to add that somewhere along the way he develops feelings for nate and sophie. the frame up job is near and dear to my heart and you can’t convince me that isn’t fighting as flirting behavior. his interpol persona is more of a side hustle so to speak, but he finds it fun (relaxing, even) to fill that role. there aren’t any obligations of other demons, bothersome hunters, or anything like that. nate and sophie are low stakes, except, they aren’t, really. they make him feel things he can’t ever really remember feeling. his heart beats fast when sophie sat in his lap and cradled his face, his hands sweat when nate gives him that certain smug look. he’s exasperated by the way they can run circles around him like no one else has ever before. they annoy him and get under his skin in a way no one else can and it’s infuriating. but also not, at the same time. maybe he likes it
and then the long goodbye job happens
hear me out and suspend your belief here for a second, because I can’t remember if crowley supernaturally knows when ppl die/are dead or not.
so nate is in interpol custody and the interviewer is obviously out of her depth. (most people are, when it comes to nathan ford.) he walks in and pours the man a drink, but he’s fuming. somewhere along the way he came to care about the team. hell and suffering is literally in his (official) job description, but he can admit (only to himself) that he admires what they do. it’s not for him, not anything close to where his passions and interests lie, but he respects their drive and purpose. he is also aware enough to acknowledge that they are a family, a group of misfits that never belonged quite anywhere except to each other.
and nate fucking blew it up, ruined it, because his vice is being so obsessed with the end game that he is apparently willing to let his team, his family, the people that anchor him to reality, die because the ends supposedly justify the means.
not this time. not to sterling crowley
he is enraged. he can admit within the confines of his mind that he cares for nate, for sophie, even for the other three (though nate and sophie have somehow made it a hierarchy where they are more important to him. which he will dissect later in private. maybe.)
nate let them die, he let sophie die, and for what? the black book? hell below, crowley would have made things easier somehow, if he knew that this was where nate’s sights had lied. he would have prevented this somehow. he wants to have prevented this. he doesn’t want any of them dead and is too afraid to check and verify because that would make it real. the idea of sophie (or any of them) somehow making it to hell instead of heaven would probably break something in him he might not be able to reapir fully.
he yells at nate- he’s angry. hellfire burning in his heart because everything is ruined. the deaths aside (however hard it is to set them aside in his mind), nate will not recover from this, not ever. this will be the start of the end, he is sure. a miserable, guilt-ridden existence where he drinks himself to death and nothing will save him. it plays out in crowley’s mind in a thousand different ways that are beyond painful to conceptualize, even in theory.
the story starts to unravel and there is a game afoot. a solemn, miserable, infuriating game because the con is still in session because parker is alive and in the building- which sets another fire alight in his chest. ‘parker even know you got hardison killed?’ he rages for her grief when she finds out. he knows it will double when she finds out eliot has perished, too, because he isn’t fucking blind.
but nate is a brilliant man, lest he forget too quickly. they are all alive, and somehow still the entire crew slips through his fingers. he’s not even angry (he never would have been- he doesn’t actually try too hard to catch them. it’s about the game, not the consequences). he lets them keep the black book because he’s fucking exhausted and honestly, they more than earned it.
‘now we’re even. tell sophie to drive carefully’. they will never be even, not really. crowley would never admit or agree that being human is the superior state of being, but that have made him feel human in a way he doesn’t actually mind. they keep him on his toes and match him in a way unique to them, they remind him that there are other things than the realm of hell. not necessarily bigger than hell, but maybe just as important in a different sense.
watching the van drive away, something inside him settles. when he walked into the interrogation room that day he thought this was the beginning of the end. it’s not the end at all, not an end to anything. it’s a continuation of their story. maybe, he thinks, a beginning to a new era in it
#before anyone says anything YES I KNOW HOW SPN LORE WORKS I WATCHED IT FOR MANY YEARS#I am just making this silly post for my own (and possibly your) amusement#I’m not digging too heavily into spn plot because I haven’t watched in forever and don’t trust my memory to make accurate commentary lol#also I know it’s probably layed but lied looked better somehow don’t worry about it#sorry this is so long I wasn’t sure where to break it to a read more bc all of it was too important to me 😭💀#tell me in the comments if you’d prefer a read more and where you think it should go#I haven’t been into spn for years HOW DOES THIS AU HAVE SUCH A CHOKEHOLD OVER ME#eliot spencer#parker#alec hardison#leverage ot3#parker x hardison x eliot#(background)#nate ford#sophie devereaux#jim sterling#nate x sophie#nate x sophie x sterling#crossovers#leverage x spn#leverage x supernatural#supernatural#crowley spn#crowley supernatural#crowley#leverage#mine#not even queueing this I need it posted immediately. instant gratification#pls like rb comment etc I need the validation#I ended up putting a read more for the long goodbye job
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