#but I am feeling the equivalent of having your partner you love very much and you think can do know wrong does something wrong

[featherymainffins]

Now this might be because I have issues but is it just me or does Slay The Princess feel like an allegory for a relationship?

[gigai-dumps]

I've made my peace with Ena5 but damn, I wish I could be happy for the MizuEna feast but I can't when it's at the expense of Mizuki's lackluster arc conclusion. U_U

[mochinomnoms]

Do you ever think about eel cuddles? I feel like there are times when they want to snuggle and be in their eel forms while doing it so it's more comfortable for them. I kinda picture being in a big tub with one, their shrimpy is either nakey or wearing a bathing suit and just chilling in the bath with music playing and talking to them. Maybe you get to mess around with their fins or touch their cool claws all the while getting covered in their slimy love.

I do, I think about it so much and I am a sucker for non-sexual intimacy!!!! As much as I like to think about spicy thoughts with the tweels, there's something so domestic about sharing a bath with your partner, scratching and massaging their scalp and carefully rinsing out the shampoo so that it doesn't get in their eyes. It's easier to scrub your back when you have someone else there to do it for you. Yes, it's not the only time they'll see you naked, but there's something extra vulnerable about seeing all the moles, stretchmarks, and scars on your skin under a warm bathroom light.

Floyd isn't a big fan of bubble baths or using things like bath bombs, surprisingly! The idea of foaming bubbles and fizzy colors is cool at first, but all the smells and colors can overstimulate him when he's trying to relax. If he's trying to relax with his shrimpy, he actually prefers to use products with scents that remind him of home. Allow me to flex my ex-Lush employee knowledge, but he likes products that smell a lot more fresh, salty, and even citrusy! Plus, it makes you smell a lot more like him in the end. Floyd will rub his soap into your skin, pressing his forehead into the back of your neck to revel in the contact. For added measure, he'll rub his face, hands, and tail into you so that you'll be all slick and slimy just like him! He'll even do you the favor of massaging it into your skin if you throw a fit about feeling too wet. By the end, you'll have such smooth, soft skin that Vil is going to wonder if Azul decided to start selling his serum to the public.

Jade is just a tad bit more adventurous, if adventurous means picking all the woodsy, floral, and earthy scented bath products he can get his hands on. His favorite scents are rosemary and chamomile, which sounds weird at first but are actually quite pleasant. Jade will get you your very own shampoo, conditioner, and bath products suited for your hair and skin. He will only keep them in his bathroom, though. He slowly but surely gets you accustomed to his products, lush bathroom, and the soothing scrap from his nails that he repeatedly assured you wouldn't hurt. He'll use his claws to gently trace shapes and his name into your skin as he compares how different your skin's texture is compare to him. He's marveling how your fingertips prune up and your nails get softer, unlike his own hands which stay firm, slick and sharp. You're gonna get so used to Jade taking care of you in the bath that you're gonna be dragging yourself every other evening to wash up with Jade to take care of you. And care he does, for your his shrimp as well!

As a the shrimp to an eel, your their symbiote and they'll also expect you to clean them up too. Easier said than done when they're covered in a layer of mucus that sticks to your fingers and makes it hard to grab a hold of their squirming tail (they move it on purpose cause they think your furrowed brows and pout is funny). You can get them to settle down once you manage to trace the ridges of their fins, a particularly sensitive spot on their body that's the equivalent of tracing nails along your spine, soft and delightful shivers will make them chirp and click as you draw shapes and place kisses. It's a sight that the big bad scary eels reserve just for your eyes. Softness in the sea is reserved for only their mate, after all.

[bloodyinkandquill]

Valk x Reader

alright got permission from the requester to just do general hcs, i woke up 4-5 hours before my alarm because we’re having a late start day due to the snow, don’t feel as shitty mentally but i’m still not doing great, reasonably

- You weren’t entirely sure how you ended up dating one of the Inpherno’s most famous idols, who is also a demi deity and technically a prince, but hey you aren’t complaining

- Valk is an incredibly sweet partner and an overall very loving guy, he always lets you know just how much he loves and adores you, wether through actions or words, he can be super cheesy about it but it’s incredibly sincere and loving, so even if you roll your eyes at how sappy he’s being you love the way he treats you

- He is an incredibly touchy guy, he is constantly touching you, holding your hand, giving you hugs and kisses, cuddling, bumping horns with you, just any way for him to touch you really, since he’s very likely shorter then you he’s usually little spoon or he just lays on top of you, he’s surprisingly light honestly, unlike Dom he loves when you touch his wings, they’re small and sensitive but it’s an intimate and trusting thing for him to let you touch them, so if while you’re cuddling you pet his wings he literally melts

- He sends you those cheesy videos of two cats doing something loving or even just sitting next to each other that have the caption ‘us<3’, he sends you so many of those it’s not even funny at this point, if one of the cats is an orange cat he always calls being that one, he is very orange cat coded

- He uses those embarrassing over the top pet names for you, you groan and light heartedly swat at him but he just laughs and keeps calling you them, if you retaliate you end up in a war of who can call each other the more embarrassing couples pet name, Dom just looks exhausted by it

- Speaking of Dom you obviously get to know him more, you can tell the differences of the brother’s personalities a lot clearer, but you also see their real personalities not their stage ones, he’s totally chill with you since you make his brother happy but you did get some serious shovel talk when your partner first introduced you to his brother

- Valk unsurprisingly loves karaoke, it’s probably his favorite date night activity, he doesn’t mind if you can’t sing you’re doing the thing he loves, and besides half the fun of karaoke is sucking absolute balls at it, if anything he’s the one ruining the fun being a professional trained singer, but it’s nice to have a private room where you let loose, maybe have a drink, eat some like ice cream parfaits and sing out music like maniacs

- Other dates you two usually do are nice fancy dinners, or nights in gaming, he can and will kick your ass at whatever the equivalent of Mario Kart is, maybe also going to an arcade together, unfortunately most of your dates are in their home or yours because he gets recognized in public, he can to some extent to undercover and make himself less recognizable but it only works so well, you promise him you don’t mind you knew what you were signing up for by dating him

- His love language is yes. He basically falls into all of them, he may slightly prefer some over the others but for the most part he shows and feels loved by all of them, so whatever yours is he’s absolutely fine with, he feels loved regardless and can love you regardless

- His work hours are so inconsistent it’s crazy, sometimes you have two weeks of him barely doing anything other days he and Don have to go into the studio at 5 am, but between it all he reminds you just how much he loves and treasures you, sending you long winded texts about how much he adores you, any and everything about you

- If you’re insecure about anything about yourself he’s saying the most loving and sweet things about it till you want to cry over how amazing he’s being towards you, you feel inferior sometimes seeing as you’re dating him who has so many fans and people who’d kill to date him, but he just reminds you how much he loves you and that there’s no one else in the entire Inphinity he’d rather be with

- Meeting his grandpa was stressful to say the least, not only is he the legal guardian of your lover, he’s a literal god, and your king, so that was not a good time you were incredibly anxious but it went well and eventually it became less scary to see Firebrand

- On the other hand it never became any less scary to see any of his siblings, you see them a lot less so never can really get used to them, the family dinners Firebrand hosts once or twice a year are like a game of mental chess, but Valk is by your side the whole time reassuring you and comforting you, his family isn’t so scary when you get to know them, you disagree but you aren’t saying that

- You call him Mic/Microphone, that’s his name so why wouldn’t you? Valk is just his stage name, you also call Dom by his real name Meg/Megaphone, only a handful of demons have the permission to call the brother’s their real names so it’s nice

i self ship with both flipside brothers so this was a nice break to write, i’m fucking starving right now i’ll probably make myself some breakfast here soon, anyways hope you enjoyed adios

[misc-obeyme]

Okay okay, so I don't know if you know what a boudoir photoshoot is, but if you do, I just booked one for the first time. I have my consultation call in 5 hours. I'm super super excited but hella nervous. However, it got me thinking. I was wondering how my favorite boys would react to getting the pictures afterwards.

I think Solomon would be excited. I mean, sexy pictures of his partner? Sounds great!

I honestly don't know how Barb would react. I have such a hard time getting a read on how he'd react to a lot of things.

Satan I feel would be a bit flustered. He'd enjoy them of course, but he'd definitely be flustered.

They're the only three I have really thought of, but gosh. But just... every one of them (Luke excluded obviously) would have such good reactions.

Anyways, how do you think they'd react? Very curious on how you think Barb would react.

~ Solomon🤍

I do in fact know what a boudoir photoshoot is! I hope your consultation went well, I'm sure you'll love the pictures!

I agree with Solomon - I think he'd be excited about it. But I also think he'd be very protective of the pictures. Our man is jealous. He might keep them in a special photo album with a spell on it to curse anybody who tried to touch it! Or if they're digital, then then equivalent of that. Nobody gets to see your sexy pictures but him!

Ahh, Satan would be so flustered. I'm just imagining him blushing like crazy and wanting to look at them, but then also not sure if he should look at them lol. Especially if you're like... there with him at the time. Like if you send them to him so you're not sitting next to him, he'll still be flustered, but perhaps a little less than he would be if you were right there.

I think your presence would also have an impact on how Barbatos would react. For instance, if you were with him at the time, he would look through the pictures with a neutral expression. Making you think he's not affected at all. You're like waiting in anticipation for some kinda reaction. Turns out he's just really good at containing himself, but he can't hold it in forever. I think that'd make him lose control just enough that he wouldn't be able to stop himself from kissing you and kissing you and if you let him, he'll drag you away to his room~

But if you're not there with him at the time, like you sent him the pictures and he's just sitting there looking through them without you there, he's gonna have no one to help him deal with the pent up feelings he's got. Miiiiight just go find you wherever you are. Might wait for you to come to him.

I suppose either way, I think he's gonna be flustered in a "I am losing control of myself right now" kind of way.

After that first time, he saves them for when he really misses you. He knows what looking at those pictures will do to him, so he keeps them locked away in drawer somewhere. Only takes them out when you're off in the human world or for some reason he can't be beside you. It isn't the same as having you with him, of course, but they're a reminder of how much you care about him, how much you trust him.

Oh oops I got a little too dramatic at the end there, but uh... I think you get what I'm trying to say lol.

[the-s1lly-corner]

Sending this because I think Tumblr might’ve eaten it, but did you ever receive a request for the TADC crew with a small, but EXTREMELY feisty S/O? Tumblr has a bad habit of eating my asks when I’m on anon I’ve found. 😭

TADC crew w/ a short and feisty reader!

hello hello anon! im so so so sorry for not seeing this sooner :( i truly did not mean to take so long to answer this! rechecking through my inbox, i dont see the original request :( but ill be answering it here so not to worry! getting silly by hopping onto my laptop/computer since its in the dining room rn and this way i can keep an eye on my macarons (literally not baking them, drying them out before i do and i wanna make sure no one touches them)

CAINE:

honestly in the most blunt way possible i think he might actually be into it. he always liked him someone who has a little bite in them (and by always he means like, when he first met you because its highly likely youre his first partner)

if you get all riled up trying to defend him he might comically tug on the collar of his shirt, of which steam will stream out of... doesnt have much of a preference for height, but with you being on the shorter side it makes carrying you around a little less awkward!

POMNI:

absolutely taken aback when you just let it rip one day and you go off on someone (most likely jax lets all be real here for a minute), just stands there appalled before you eventually calm yourself down and turn your attention to her

not to yell at her, she hasnt done anything wrong

honestly... nervous anxious ball x angry defender is probably another trope of mine that i think about every so often, but honestly i love it so so much. thats literally just the embodiment of you and pomni's dynamic

not much to say here unfortunately </3 just that you tend to defend her when things get ugly and you dont tend to stop until the issue is resolved

RAGATHA:

honestly maybe im biased for ragatha because ive grown on her since ive opened requests, but i think that she would be the queen of getting you to chill out when something has you all riled up! is so so kind and doesnt make fun of your height, i mean its not like you or anyone can change it. very good at not making you feel less than for being shorter than nearly everyone else

holds

if you get angry on her behalf and attempt to defend her she would be so so touched, but really most things probably roll right off her back, so she just takes you and walks you away from the scene

JAX:

honestly he thinks its a little funny that you get so worked up over things! probably calls you an ankle biter as a joke, which might make you a little mad. definitely picks you up by the scruff or the back of your shirt or whatever! really any equivalent of that works! jax has an entire arsenal of nicknames for you, all based on your height and energy. he loves seeing the way your face scrunches up a little in disdain when he calls you one of those names. all in good fun, for the most part, but he might let up if its something that makes you genuinely upset...

KINGER:

okokokokok so we dont know anything about queenie (i think, i must admit i dont keep up with gooseworx at all and am only relying off of the pilot) but i hc her to also be more on the feisty side

is this relevant? really it depends, because i think kinger would be comforted by the familiarity of your attitude, but also this could be a gateway for angst because it makes him think and dwell on the loss of queenie.... up to you!

subconsciously kneels down to your height to talk to you; he doesnt mean to be rude! it just sort of happens! thinks your fierceness is endearing in its own silly way!

ZOOBLE:

probably thinks that you can get a little overwhelming sometimes. i mean yeah sure its nice to have someone in your corner whos ready to help you out but zooble seems to be the type to not seek that help out; and in fact i can easily see them getting annoyed by someone constantly speaking for them. so you guys are going to need to communicate and work on this together lest there be a build of resentment

remember guys resentment is a real thing and it can ruin so much !! communicate!!!

that aside, i dont think they would comment much on your height, they really could not give less of a flying fuck

GANGLE:

torn between having her be intimidated by you or having her also find it endearing (and perhaps even attractive? shy person liking the one who always speaks their mind, you know?) while im not writing these to be explicitly romantic, i dont quite totally comfy with the idea of intimidation in a relationship.. though this can be applied to platonic relationships too... hmm... mayhaps a mix of it all? not quite sure! probably goes to you for tips to be more bold, love the idea of someone teaching gangle to grow a backbone

similar to zooble, no comments on your height!

[pomplalamoose]

give me more Luke headcanons I am begging you, could be anything but give moooore (pretty please 🥺)

Of course, anon!!! Here are more Luke headcanons just for you, I hope you like them🩵

(if you scroll far enough you'll find something slightly nsfw at the end)

• for some reason I'm convinced that Luke can't dance 

• or at least not in a way that is considered presentable to the public 

• (the dorky way in which he moves to music in private is unlike anything you've ever seen. It's adorable)

• while he has a good sense of rhythm and great control over his body, he turns surprisingly clumsy as soon as he's told to do, for example, a waltz

• suddenly his graceful demeanor and the elegant way in which he carries himself simply vanishes into thin air 

• the only thing left will be gangly limbs everywhere, sheepish smiles and murmured apologies 

• take care of your feet because he will step on them 

• I wouldn't be surprised if he'd somehow manage to trip over his own or slip on the train of his partner's dress/cloak/flowy garment

• could he possibly learn how to dance? Absolutely, he's a well trained fighter 

• does he want to? No.

• (he might make an exception if Leia forces him to)

• is there an equivalent to the Roman Empire in the galaxy far, far away?

• is it the old Jedi order?

• (it could be but everyone feel free to make up alternatives)

• either way Luke is a nerd because I say so and thus thinks about the Roman Empire's equivalent a lot 

• he'll be able to give you a weirdly specific answer about how often he does so too

• he'll smile at you then and you can't help but wonder whether he's messing with you or telling the truth 

• if you share a room or a bed with him, no matter if it's in a platonic or romantic way, he's definitely one to come up with the strangest of questions 

• especially when you are already halfway gone and THIS close to sleep

• he'd ask if you'd still date him if he was a worm 

• yes, he'd still date you if you were a worm 

• OF COURSE he would 

• he'd built a little worm house just for you 

• what do you mean you want him to shut up and finally go to sleep?

• the memory of experiencing his first rain fall is very dear to him 

• since he grew up on a planet without water, everything about it fascinates him a great deal 

• he's always delighted when there is a stream or a puddle nearby 

• he likes to observe big rivers and the sea and often meditates at the shore of whatever lake he might find

• because of this I like to think he'd be really into fish 

• or water creatures in general 

• he'd totally keep some of them in his rooms

• (only in a way appropriate to their species of course!)

• as a fish/crab/shell/??? you won't ever find a better place to live than in Luke Skywalker's aquarium

• he'd take such good care of them 

additonal posts for this topic here and here

• in one of my other posts I said that Luke likes to go shopping with you

• but not only because he enjoys spending time with the people he loves 

• secretly (or maybe not so secretly) that man is just as invested in getting you new clothes, if not more so, than you are 

• (everyone who knew his mother isn't surprised; they have so much in common after all)

• he has an amazing sense for fashion 

• while he himself is more than content with his elegant and sleek black look, he flourishes when others seek him out for advice on how to dress

• he has a good eye for all the different body types and what suits each individual person best 

• he loves make over scenes in movies

• he keeps up to date with the latest trends

• he'd totally judge celebrities' and/or politician's outfits with you

• while we are at it I also have to talk about his favorite pieces on you 

• he absolutely adores seeing you in shirts with a low neckline

• those that maybe tend to expose more of your skin when you move, sliding that way or another

• the more he can see of your neck, shoulders  and collarbones the better 

• he loves when you go without a bra and he is able to see your nipples peeking through the fabric 

• thus he is especially happy during summer when you are wearing thin and lacey tops 

• while he always enjoys unwrapping you like a present during winter, there's just something so tantalizing about easy access

• this applies to your panties as well (or maybe especially?)

• he thinks you look breathtakingly beautiful in a pretty summer dress or a flowy skirt

• but even more so if he knows you aren't wearing anything underneath

• he'll innocently ask you to sit on his lap

• from afar nobody would assume that there is something else going on 

• at least if you manage to keep your composure 

• you never do

• he is not easy to take without any preparation and foreplay first 

• so in case you don't happen to be aroused enough or if you're less practiced and not able to take him fully yet, he'll happily adapt and fuck your thighs instead 

• they are just as nicely warm and so smooth 

• he'd make you sit at just the right angle so you too get all the friction you need, gently guiding your hips into a rhythm 

• eventually he'd loose his patience though, and, after making sure no one's around, he'd bend you over and take you properly

[calissarowan]

I'm wondering what you think about dating the wizards. Like how would they be in a relationship? How would they treat you? How open would they be? If you did that already then sorry for the question.

Ooh, amazing question! No, I haven’t done that before, and let’s have some fun with this. Just to clarify, this is just them dating in general, not dating me specifically. Mostly because I’d crash and burn with two out of the four wizards in the first five minutes. (I’ll let you wonder which two.) I didn’t expect this to get as long as it did, so I’ll put in a keep reading.

Ogron in a relationship…is a tricky situation. Relationships are based on trust, and Ogron has the least trust out of any human being ever. He has a lot of issues and unresolved trauma (so do all the other wizards, but Ogron pretends he doesn’t), and his frustration and emotional upset has a tendency to get projected. A new partner would probably find themselves on the receiving end of that projection. He likes to set himself above other people, so a partner would probably find themselves feeling like they weren’t being listened to. He probably is listening, he’s just also listening to all his stress-points at the same time, and they’re very loud. He’s argumentative, and absolutely anything, even the tiniest thing, will be over-analysed until ‘Sorry, I’m busy tonight’, has been assessed so much that the man could write a thesis on it. Emotional vulnerability is seemingly off the table, and his partner would have to not be offended by the fact he wants to keep them out of just about every part of him. His mother left him when he was young, so he has really bad abandonment issues, which are another obstacle to be dealt with.

But! If, by some miracle, someone sticks by him through the anxiety, breakdowns, yelling, nit-picking, judgement and constant brush-offs, he’ll start to see them differently. He’s been the absolute nightmare that is him, and they’re still there. They still want to be there. For him. And that makes him feel so valued and cared for, and he starts to very gradually calm down, and even begin to let them in. It’s really, really small stuff at first. He’ll choose his partner over staying up until two am working on a plan. A very, very casual remark about his family. Anything pertaining to his parents, even if it’s as simple as his father liking a specific kind of plant, is a very rare and special invitation to step further into his life and heart, and it should be treasured and afforded the utmost respect. He needs to be listened to if he’s speaking; never interrupt, even casually, because regardless of what he’s saying, if his partner cuts him off, he feels they don’t care about what he was saying, and thus what he thinks, and thus about him. And then the spiralling starts. Once some brave soul has battled through everything Ogron’s emotional issues can throw at them, he will have the utmost respect for them, and they will become one of the most important people in his life, and likely his rock, because he needs someone to hold him steady. Once you’re there, Ogron is actually fairly playful, loving a good few hours of witty banter, and his partner will be regaled with long talks about whatever interests him this week, but he’ll also learn about whatever interests them, and then somehow know more than them, but it’s endearing. He’s a judgy, paranoid, overly-emotional mess, but goddamn it, he will become your judgy, paranoid, overly-emotional mess, and you will never want to let this very broken man out of your life if you’ve managed to get into his.

It’s very hard to tell if Gantlos actually likes just about anyone to start with. Stony glares from him are roughly equivalent to a neutral smile. If he actually gives someone a neutral smile, they are in, they’ve done it, he likes them. Gantlos would treat his partner (currently Duman) with the highest respect, and always, always put their needs before his own. If they had a sprained ankle and he had two broken legs, a dislocated shoulder, bruised ribs and a concussion, he’d still insist on carrying them everywhere. Of course, that ends with both parties in a heap, but Gantlos is too stubborn to acknowledge that, because he’s fine. This lack of ability to acknowledge being hurt can lead to a fair few heart attacks for his partner, like when he breaks a limb, and they flip out, and he says, ‘No, it’s fine. Look, it’s really just like I gained a new joint! It’s positive!’ Best bet for getting him medical help is usually to wait until he passes out and just drag him to the hospital. So that’s fun for his partner…

About how open he is, honestly? Gives Ogron a run for his money in being closed-off. Ask him about just about anything personal, and, while Ogron will snap, Gantlos will just shut up. In my headcanon, he had a very traumatic experience when he was younger that left him with some serious scarring, so, basically, he won’t take his shirt off around his partner for a very long time, because he’s traumatised and ashamed. It’s very, very important to acknowledge it when you first see it, but not to look freaked out, or to say anything negative. ‘It’s not as bad as I was expecting’ is usually a good way to go. Duman went for ‘Well I have like ten more scars, so I win.’ Which was…risky. But, surprisingly, got a laugh.

Again, personal headcanon, but I headcanon that he’s part vampire, so that part of him is kept firmly away from his partner as long as possible. He’ll refuse to touch them while vampiric, out of a fear that he’ll hurt them. Just trust him completely, because someone has to have faith in him when he doesn’t. He really just needs to be accepted.

Once Gantlos is in love with someone, it’s pretty much the case that if someone dares hurt them, he will hunt that person down and obliterate them. He doesn’t do well at offering advice on problems, or just romance in general, so his partner kinda has to lead the way. He’s also kinda overprotective, which can end up being a little suffocating, but that’s just a conversation that has to be had. He cares so fiercely and passionately; he’d die for someone he loves.

Anagan is attentive, caring, and has a tendency to go a bit overboard showing he has feelings for his partner. He treats them with the highest respect, and he’s always on their side. Even if they’re wrong. Even if they’re seriously wrong. He can’t really call his partner out until he’s incredibly comfortable, because he has serious issues with being an appeaser. He doesn’t want to start a fight, and if he has to be wrong every day for the rest of his life, well then so be it. His partner’s every problem will be attentively listened to, and he will then try to fix it. Usually through advice, but sometimes on his own, which has…mixed results. He just wants to help, though.

He has a bit of an inferiority complex, so he actually will get jealous pretty easily. Not in an aggressive, judgmental way, but in a ‘could that other person do a better job than me’ way. He just gets very sad and broody, and this has to be picked up on very quickly, or it spirals a bit until Anagan is simultaneously depressed and enthusiastically showing you how much he loves you.

In terms of how open he is, he’s actually the most open of all the wizards. His past can be discussed relatively quickly, though more details will follow as he and his partner get closer. He tends not to say how he’s feeling unprompted, but if he’s asked, he’ll admit it quite easily, and he’ll offer an explanation. So as long as you meet him halfway, he’s a good communicator.

He’s definitely the kind of boyfriend that likes to surprise his partner with nice things, like a romantic dinner, or a gift. He loves giving flowers, but not cut ones. Living plants, that must subsequently be taken care of. Sometimes, his partner is bad with plants, so Anagan subsequently rescues his plants and takes them back home. His partner can visit them somewhere they’re not drowning or practically blowing away as dust. Innocent plants are not getting sacrificed for a relationship they aren’t a part of, and that’s final. All in all, a great boyfriend to have.

Duman is…insanity in leather. For the beginning of most relationships, he’d barely even dip into being serious, just being sarcastic and making jokes and doing dumb stuff. Honestly, the entire start is a shield, so he can see if they leave. He didn’t do this with Gantlos, because Gantlos knew him way too well, but with anyone else, he’s just waiting for them to leave. Like Ogron, he has serious, serious abandonment issues, so he tends to be pretty…clingy. He wants to go everywhere with his partner, and the idea of them going away for a few days makes him very edgy because what if they never come back?! This also makes him jealous, because what’s to stop his partner just leaving him for that guy over there? Nothing! He and Gantlos are thankfully past this, but it was a bit of an issue to begin with, until Gantlos said that he was being ridiculous, and if he ever found someone more perfect for him than Duman, then reality would clearly be broken.

Like Gantlos, Duman really needs to be accepted. He shows off his shapeshifting a lot, but he was mistreated because of it in the past, and part of him is still self-conscious, so his powers can never be judged, and he can never be looked at as an animal, because he’s not one, and he’ll get very upset. Though, for the most part, he’s come to accept himself, and he believes everyone else should too, so his partner’s every flaw will be loved as much as their greatest qualities, because nobody deserves to be shamed.

He’s an absolute tease, and he’s always playful. He always wants to be able to make his partner laugh, and if they’re sad, it becomes his life’s mission not to stop until they’re smiling again. He’s very overly-dramatic, and this just has to be tolerated. Nod along when he acts like he’s cut his finger off, and it’s just a paper cut. It’s important to him. He needs attention, and lots of it. He was neglected for a long time, so feeling like someone’s priority is very important to him.

Actually pretty open. He’ll talk about his past and feelings, but it’s ninety-percent in the form of sarcastic pseudo jokes. You’re just going to have to piece his emotional state together through sarcasm, and figure out his backstory from traumatic anecdotes he laughs awkwardly after telling. He thinks he’s over it all, so don’t correct him.

Generally, he becomes someone’s safe space after a while. He doesn’t judge, because he knows how much that sucks. When it comes to Gantlos, he’s pretty much got this traumatised, insecure, stoic, hurt wizard, and it’s his life’s mission to make him feel loved, accepted and valued. It’s an uphill battle, but he’ll succeed.

And that’s the wizards in relationships! Great question; thanks for sending it in! I hope I answered it well. What did you think?

[geekwiththeglasses]

Would love to hear you rant about Fourth Wing. That book makes me so mad lmao

I literally dashed to my desktop when I saw this because this deserves a desktop response (out of character for a millenial/genz cusper I actually type much faster with a keyboard).

Now to note, I am only 50% done with the book so far so this is limited to that (though I have watched spoiler reviews so I feel justified in my thoughts because I know it's not getting better).

By the way, I learned that this entire series was a publisher request, not like a passion project of Yarros and while I ain't judging (I would do it in a heartbeat if it meant I could pay rent for the next year), to me, you can kinda feel it, like there's a distinct lack of creative verve. You can especially feel it in how shallow everything (and everyone) feels.

A read more because this became obnoxiously long (it's almost 2000 words) and I respect people's dashboards.

Except for this article about toxic perseverance which I think everyone should have to read if they've read Fourth Wing.

There are, first of all, some major issues with this book. The biggest one is, of course, the toxic perseverance, which is covered quite well in the article, but if you're not going to read it, to pull a quote from it:

Creating a narrative in which a character with a disability overcomes all of their pain and other symptoms through force of will alone sets unrealistic expectations—unrealistic expectations which are, as I mentioned previously, a very real issue for very real disabled people in our very real world.  I believe we should have seen some impact of that lifestyle if the author was trying to engage with this intentionally. Because fiction is not created in a vacuum and this narrative goes unproblematised in-text, it’s unclear whether Yarros actively endorses this mindset, or is accidentally endorsing it, neither of which is good.

Just to elaborate a little on something I didn't see in the article, but this book hates the idea of accommodations. Like it's a horrible, horrible thing and how dare you ever suggest Violet might need something as disgusting as a saddle to stay on the equivalent of an airplane. It's not like accommodations are something that actually can end up helping non-disabled people as well. There wasn't potential for a scene where she actually acknowledged she needed help and suddenly everyone's like "hey, that's actually really smart, we should totally do this too, this makes life much easier/safer and will improve everyone's quality of life". Or even just a scene where it only helps her but damn it helps her a lot because it takes in to account her needs and specific body. Because that would require acknowledging that Violet has limitations and not allow her to power through the pain. And also get thrown from her dragon repeatedly, which definitely doesn't fuck up her joints.

Rhiannon gets so shafted. She gets the double whammy of two stereotypes: the black best friend and the promiscuous bisexual. She's seen with multiple partners, none of which seem like long-term or serious partners. And while some bisexual people have more sex with more people than others, if you're going to do that, include more than one bisexual person in your story. She has very little to do with the story unless she is there for the white, straight main character. We've gotten her helping Violet, but so far there's zero dedicated scenes of that tutoring help that was offered in the beginning and as far as I know we never get it (I may be wrong). I hear we get her family later, but that they're also glossed over for More Important Things. It doesn't feel like Rhiannon (or honestly any other character) exists except for when they're around Violet. They all kinda blend together, which at the 50% mark is fucking unacceptable. What is special about them, distinguishes them from the others other than Liam (is it Liam? whoever her bodyguard is) who whittles? There is so little to distinguish any background characters except for Dain. Even Xaden feels lackluster and a bit hazy around the edges, like he never finished rendering.

Let's not forget that Yarros is 100% a military wife and a US military bootlicker and from what I've heard she's had some unsavory and unsupportable opinions on Palestine. We do not like.

She also took Gaelic names and just decided the pronunciation doesn't matter??? Insulting.

Onto the less serious issues:

Firstly, as to my previous complaint, the entirety of Dain's storyline is the most impressive speedrun in character assassination I have ever seen. I described it to a friend as Yarros lovingly caressing a 2x4 before repeatedly beating you over the head with it. He gets like... a scene to be besties and then immediately he must be the worst thing to ever exist, specifically to prop up Xaden. Dain is the asshole holding her back, unlike Xaden who pushes her to be her best (entirely ignoring that her body literally has physical limitations and accommodations are not a dirty word)! He's such a rule follower, but Xaden understands when to bend or break them (pay no attention to him breaking all the rules to try to get her into the scribe's quadrant)! He doesn't believe her immediately when she accuses someone of murder, but Xaden absolutely believes her with no proof (let's forget that Amber is a good friend of Dain and that it would honestly be natural to want to believe that your friend isn't capable of cold-blooded murder with zero proof especially since that would lead to her execution which Violet somehow forgot would be a consequence of her accusation). Dain is overprotective and condescending to Violet (I mean he wasn't the one to force her to have a bodyguard, but he just doesn't believe in her). I bet he doesn't even wash his ass. Xaden definitely washes his ass.

Murder college makes zero sense, especially since she definitely based the military off the US (which makes sense since it's the one she has the most exposure to). Most militaries that I am aware of have rather high requirements for physical fitness, especially an academy for officers (which, in Yarros' face, I actually have experience with, as my father went to the Naval Academy so I know for a fact they're strict as hell with requirements). The US military won't even let you be slightly overweight, even if you can fulfill the physical requirements. It was hard to find any info on whether EDS would out and out disqualify you, but the fact that it wasn't even brought up as a barrier for entry that she had to overcome does not make sense to me.

Ah, I hear someone hypothetically argue, but the college is supposed to (theoretically) weed out the weak so they'll let anyone in who wants to join! Ok, then why is Violet the only physically disabled person in the entire college? I have been to rodeos with bull riders who were amputees, but there ain't one person missing an arm or a leg in that college. The only other disabled person we get so far is a scribe, but you're telling me not one deaf person wants to be a rider? Why is Violet the only one that gets to be "exceptional"?

Back to the murder part of murder college, the fact that this is a murder college gets technically lampshaded, but never really justified in why people keep coming. Like it's not some greater commentary on the lengths people will go for power or greatness or the insidious nature of military propaganda. It just felt like we needed to up the stakes that our protagonist was in danger at every turn, but honestly I never feel like the stakes are that high, because, well, she keeps emphasizing how much danger her life is in, how screwed and dead she is. And if her life is always in danger, it's never in danger.

Speaking of murder, the story doesn't challenge the idea that "weed out the weak through murder" doesn't actually work but just kills people and probably gives the survivors like the worst anxiety (because if everything can kill you your mental health will probably deteriorate). It's like that meme:

Basgiath War College: I have made the perfect rider Me: you fucked up a perfectly good person is what you did. Look at him. He's got anxiety.

Why is Violet so enlightened and above having any prejudice? If anything she should have way more animosity towards the rebel kids than she does. It's literally stated in text that she was not immune to the propaganda and misinformation she's read, but you want me to believe that between (what she believes is) losing a brother to the rebellion and a mother who was kinda involved, not to mention growing up in a group that would be full of anti-rebel propaganda she somehow didn't end up believing anything beyond "yeah some of them will definitely want you dead" which is true??? Instead she's fine with them and will definitely sit with rebel kids because unlike people who grew up with probably less or about the same propaganda than her, she knows not to judge people for the sins of their parents. Those other kids are just so much more prejudiced than she is, isn't she wonderful and has zero biases to unlearn. Oh, you may say, but she thought Xaden was going to kill her! He literally does confirm that the only reason initially he doesn't kill her is to keep a hold of his humanity which does actually confirm that he wants her dead! So the narrative even confirms that this bias was, in fact, the correct opinion to have.

I do not understand why Violet and Xaden are drawn to each other beyond Xaden hot. I am asexual and somewhere on the aromantic spectrum so perhaps it is just not in my nature to understand the ways of the heterosexuals, but I don't get it. Why does she like him? The only reason given is he's hot. Maybe a reason is given later down the line but this is a romantasy. You live and die by building up that damn romance and I am not convinced! I haven't even been given like a "oh I see him with his dragon and it's heart meltingly cute how he interacts with her". Is this why Dain had to be assassinated (we are holding his burial next week by the way, there will be funeral potatoes)? So that Xaden had something to be compared to because he has all the substance of one of those inflatable dancing men?

(Dance, Xaden, dance.)

Yarros cannot do exposition, it's so jarring. She tells us so much, shows little, and bores me the entire time. You seriously decide to make exposition a character quirk for when she needs to calm down? Seriously???? The parapet scene was hard to listen to because you were jerked around like a rag doll between quick action and exposition. Who thought that was a good idea? Exposition is always a difficult thing to include and make it work and sound natural, but this is not how you do it.

A minor complaint, but once you learn Yarros is Mormon you cannot unsee the fingerprints of Mormonism throughout this book. People do not cuss like people, they cuss like you put fuck into a fresh AI and asked it to try it out. I cuss like a sailor and I was wondering why it felt so jarring until I realized that it's not how people talk. I mean Holy. Fucking. Hot. I'm well the fuck aware. You tried ma'am, you tried. Here's a gold star. Also, I'm 99% sure there is zero alcohol. You seriously want me to believe that none of these kids are sneaking in alcohol? That no one is using booze to cope with being in a murder college? As if, we all know these kids are making midnight dragon runs to the liquor store.

Also, the fact that I had to hear an audiobook narrator try to make this dialogue and prose sound like something that would actually come out of a human mouth was truly something to behold. The fact that "for the win" was not left in the 2010s where it belonged is an outrage. If I had a better memory I would put in more quotes cause there have been other doozies.

But really, the greatest crime this book commits, is that it has the audacity to be boring. You give me dragons and you have the sheer, unmitigated gall to bore me. I will accept a lot from a book. I will accept plot holes. I will ignore shallow world building. I will tolerate character assassinations. Do all that if you must, but at the very least make it interesting. This book is not interesting. I listen to a few chapters at a time and I am not having a good time. I only continue out of sheer stubbornness and feeling an obligation that for once I should actually read a book that I have seen negative reviews about to see if perhaps it is not so bad.

I just happened to pick a book where it is, in fact, that bad.

[hopeisgrey]

My Demon - 7/10

The announcement of My Demon literally created chaos among the k-drama fans. The Song Kang-Kim Youjung pairing was making everyone insane. The hype was unreal. But did My Demon live up to it? Well, the answer to that would be… yes or no (kissy if u read that in Na Bora’s voice). My Demon did have a very interesting plot line, good enough characters and it was successful in getting the audiences hooked with the first few episodes. The cinematography was the most talked about among the viewers and rightfully so. The wide shots of Jung Guwon’s (Song Kang) office, the underwater scene, the slow-mo shot of the waves forming a portal around Guwon and Dohee (Kim Youjung), the Dohee-about-to-fall-off-the-balcony scene and so on. Another thing that filled twitter was the fashion. And not only the female lead’s this time, but also the male leads. Guwon has secured his place among the very few male leads with impeccable fashion sense. When most male leads are shown in sophisticated suits, Guwon was rocking cropped jackets and scarfs. But then again, I don’t think most male leads are Song Kang.

Nevertheless, My Demon stands as an example that if you start with a bang, your ending should be a banger. This is where the drama failed. In the second half, it started to feel like the story line was being stretched. The cinematography and direction which was so good in the start had taken a back seat and love making montages were put in for the action that wasn’t happening. And by action, I mean just anything that would contribute to the plot. The plot was moving, but at a very slow pace. Sure, Guwon and Dohee make the best couple, the greenest flag couple, the entire amazon rainforest couple, but where is the drama? I wasn’t necessarily waiting for anything bad to happen, but for a time being literally nothing was happening. And I was mad about that. Until towards to the end, everything happened. The new trend of k-drama rom-coms only having 12 episodes, My Demon should’ve followed that. Because the more they stretched, the more Song Kang’s bad acting showed and also the writer’s inability to stitch it all together. I honestly loved Song Kang in Sweet Home, not that he had any more than 2 expressions 3 dialogues in it, but still. Jung Guwon is far more expressive, and Song Kang couldn’t do justice. He shines when the camera requires for him to be the slayest demon to walk this planet, but when it is time for the playful babygirl Guwon to get on stage, his acting feels like… acting. It’s not terrible, it’s just not the best. Also the entire past life plot is becoming more than obvious. The moment I saw Guwon dreaming of his past, I KNEW Guwon and Dohee probably died in the past life and one of them thinks it’s their fault and they will try to distance themselves from each other. You know which other drama did it? See You in My 19th Life and Destined with You and maybe more but I don’t remember. Like can we please move on? This is equivalent to the 2016 era dramas having the oh we’ve actually met in childhood and not forgotten each other since trope. But then again, they have given us the most iconic dramas, can’t the same about these though.

However, I loved the way they showed Jin Gayoung’s character coming full circle. She is probably the only one who started a certain way, learned her lessons, had character development and got her happy ending. So yeah, My Demon definitely isn’t the best drama for me. I am not going to put in on my re-watch list. But I will recommend it. It’s fun, and sweet, and great for fashion inspo!

Another thing I want to add is that My Demon is compared to Doom at Your Service a lot for having a similar concept, so I’ll just say that DAYS is a much better drama, for all aspects – storyline, acting, romance, comedy, THE FUCKING AWESOME THREESOME OF THE SECOND LEAD THRUPPLE, even the song (If Love Sight by TXT doesn’t play in my head when I look at my future partner, I’ll know they’re not the one). Except My Demon is going to take the trophy for best costume.

Ok that’s it now let me play Hyunsu’s “What should we do?” until Sweet Home S3 comes out hehe!

[fiveredlights]

matthew and callan is literally the reincarnation of maxiel i'm so curious about them so like the monza really happened because of that jealousy incident? TELL ME MOREEEEE

long response under the cut, thank you for the ask anon! love rambling about my fics, if it was a full time job i would excel at it! (plus a little snippet from the bonus scene i’ll probably post from monza)

matthew and callan are really interesting because i had full intentions to seperate them from maxiel as much as possible—i thought it would be very boring to just have max and daniel and then their next gen counterparts in a fic—but then they grew legs and ran away from me. like i promise i wasn’t trying to make them maxiel 2.0 but i guess maxiel is just too strong sometimes… i think i truly realised this chapter when michelle texted daniel and she was like “oh me and max text sometimes” and i was like wait……. why does that sound familiar….. then i gave up and fully leaned into it

now anon one thing about me is that i have shit poor memory. like i am the human equivalent of a goldfish so when you said monza jealously incident i was like “what jealously incident???” and honestly i am still not exactly sure what that means…. i think (maybe) you’re referring to the authors note where i mentioned that matthew was unreasonably upset over callan’s new partner and i now realise that i should’ve given more context in that this happens after monza. matthew does not hit callan because he’s jealous that callan has a partner.

i’ll give you the texts but like i’m really emphasising that they’re deleted for a reason… to me it is just incredibly out of place and it was never gonna make it in

there are no real motivations (that we know of) that cause the monza incident. i think it’s sometimes the case that teammates just crash, you know? but also from callan’s perspective, he’s had a bad start to the second half of the season, a q1 knockout, a dnf throught his own doing, and also why the fuck was matthew with his sister??? and also he hasn’t beat matthew in the head to heads since monaco (of the ones that i’ve shown) and that was back in may.

matthew has slowly started to infiltrate into his walls even more, and he doesn’t NOT know how to deal with it… here’s a little bit from the bonus scene:

“I know what it’s like to…care about someone who's destined for greatness or whatever,” Daniel carefully says and Callan isn’t stupid.

He’s seen the times. He knows Matthew is slowly creeping up on his laps, taking a tenth here or there and it’ll only be time before those tenths mean being ahead of Callan.

(Depressingly, he suddenly realises, Matthew has been ahead of Callan. It’s been like that since Monaco.)

The media says they’re siblings, they say they’re friends but sometimes it doesn’t feel like it. Sometimes he’ll catch Daniel looking between them like he’s expecting something there, searching for some invisible thing Callan quite can’t define yet.

Sometimes, he thinks Daniel knows exactly what’s running through his mind when he looks at his teammate.

Sometimes, Callan thinks he’s right.

at this point callan knows there’s ~something~ there but does not want to open that door. he wants that door BOLTED. matthew has no clue. all teammates must surely act like this and if you remember, he specifically states that he watched max and daniel as his drivers growing up and we know how batshit insane they were in 2016-2018 so… in a roundabout way this could be daniel’s fault if you think about it

matthew’s also been pretty lucky. he’s only had one bad season with the team, his first one where callan has had to sit through bad cars and bad decisions since 2025. this is the first time in four years things have started to work. so yeah, maybe he’s a little bit annoyed that the matthew gets to reap all the benefits whilst he’s been labouring away for years on how to get this car moving.

i don’t know if that answers any of your questions i just came back from dinner and blurted it all out…

[captainjacklyn]

Another DOL post..I'm never stopping with these, it's just fun for me to share my characters which I am disappointed to not be able to draw. My art skills can be easily bested by that of a six year old's hand paint.

He indeed identifies as a male though if you saw the previous post about him (the first post about him really) Elias can change his genitals, due to his human DNA being mixed with several different animals.

Degrees of Lewdity :

ReLaTiOnShIpS :

ROBIN

"Robin? You better be careful with him, if I find out that you're planning something- Uh? Oh, you just want to get to know him? Very well, I guess that's alright, I'm not even sure why I got worked up. It's his fault if he gets into trouble...doesn't mean I wouldn't go out of my way to protect him."

Looks after Robin.

Acts like a mother for him, highly strict and demanding when interacting face to face but behind the scenes, he does everything he can to look after him and make sure he's safe.

The only one Elias genuinely cares for.

*pat pat* you stay there and play games while I sell my body to take your debt okay?

Good.

Manipulates this one like crazy, "I'M DOING ALL OF THIS FOR YOU HOW DARE YOU TALK BACK TO ME-"

His words not mine.

SYDNEY

"He's my partner if that's what you were wondering, I've spent quite a good amount of time with him. Don't fill his mind with too many lewd thoughts if you plan on seducing him, his purity is rather useful. He even gifted me a dress last week..Mhm? Yes..I am fond of Sydney."

Elias doesn't particularly understand his own emotions.

He just likes having Sydney since his privileged life/status makes it easier for him as well.

Did go out of his way to spend time with him at the beach, proceeded to question every single idea which led him to do so.

WHITNEY

"Whitney tried to use me for quick money making on multiple occasions, you ram your knee in the balls and run, he doesn't take hits there very nicely."

Yeah no.

They don't get along.

Elias just ignores him whenever he tries to interact, will dismiss him when the time comes.

I've tried to allow it, but from the shaming to the constant abusive scenarios, there isn't much to allow.

KYLAR

"He got his ass thrown into prison, and for all I know, he just belongs to the asylum. I assure you that I attempted to aid him, he wasn't treated very kindly so I assumed to have found someone I can understand and relate to. Turns out he was a perverted psycho...Oh really ? I'll give you this one fact, Kylar never loved me, he just wanted to keep me as a possession."

Dismissed Kylar.

You think this guy wants to make out with the equivalent of a pathetic wet rat ? He doesn't even know if he likes the librarian who treats him with kindness.

Nuh-uh.

Nah.

Stans are coming after me, but my boy openly defended a dude who decided to stalk him in response.

BAILEY

"...What about Bailey? He has done many things for me as a child, I know that our hearts have never been one, I see that now. But if it means seeing her again..I'll pay him off, I'll pay Robin's debt along with my own and we'll run from this god forsaken swill of a town."

The first reason as to why Elias is so hardworking is because he believes that once his debt is fully repaid, he'll be able to see Monika.

Otto Hightower and Alicent toxic dad and daughter~

Woohoo and the line of trauma doesn't stop there cause Elias also treats Robin like SHIT-

The pressure of needing to save those he cares for is so great that it causes him to install his own suffering on them as well.

You're stronger than you think Elias, you're strong enough to stand as a wall between Robin and Bailey, between Sydney and Himself, between the Orphans and this Fucked up Place.

Burn your feelings to the ground and carry on.

Woah too emotional on the last one chill-

[dross-the-fish]

I saw your LO post and something stuck out to me. Most people focus on Hades as a love interest but you made the case that Persephone isn't wife material and I wondered if you could elaborate on that.

I presume you're talking about this post.

I stand by what I said.

This pink teenager isn't wife material, no adult over the age of 25 should look twice at her. This is because this character is functionally a child.

She's technically the physical equivalent of 19 but feels alarmingly younger than that because of her background and upbringing. Hades is supposedly in his 40's and has a full time job and his own assets. At my age and current life stage I'm actually a lot closer to where he's at than I am where she is and I cannot fathom what her appeal would be to anyone outside of her age group.

What is the allure? Is it the way adding her as a household driver would skyrocket someone's car insurance? Is it the way they'd pretty much be guaranteed to have to finish raising her? Instead of coming home after busting your ass at work and having another grown-up to talk to, you'd have to go through the emotional labor of having to play parent/teacher to this child who probably doesn't know how to write a resume and has never had to experience the mental, physical and financial burden of running a household. If you were to date someone like Persephone you'd have to be ok with never getting any kind of mental, emotional, or financial reciprocity because she's not equipped to function in an adult relationship as an equal partner.

That's a HUGE thing and when you get to be my age you will care about these things a lot more than you care about the frivolous "dating" elements that tend to be the focus of younger people's relationships.

Persephone would be incapable of relating to a character like Hades in any meaningful way and while it's cute, I guess, that she's "nice", nice isn't enough of a foundation to build a long term relationship. Due to her lack of age and experience she's not capable of giving advice or even actual comfort if someone had to come to her with typical adult concerns. At best she'd maybe be able to give empty sympathy and, I'll tell you right now, empty sympathy gets old fast.

A very long time ago I dated someone who was my age but at a totally different phase of life and it was a huge mistake. I'd try to talk to her about my job or an apartment I was considering renting and she'd just give me this glazed look like I was speaking another language. The only things I could talk to her about were media or college so when I needed to talk to another grown-up about the very real things I was going through (feelings of inadequacy at my job, concern over financial stability, finding affordable housing) I had NO ONE, because she had never had to worry about any of those things and couldn't comprehend how serious these concerns were. I think the last straw was when I wanted to go do something and she had to ask her parents for money and permission first.

We were both 22 and I had already had a job and my own car for 3 years and the idea of asking my parents for money or permission to do anything seemed ludicrous.

To be clear I don't blame her for that, everyone grows at a different rate and some people get to certain stages later than others, but it did really highlight that this wasn't a person I should continue to date and not someone I could ever feel like I was on equal footing with because she still lived and behaved like a teenager. We were the same age, but sometimes I felt like I was taking on a role that should have been filled by her parents and nothing kills a romantic mood like feeling like the only adult in the room is you.

So yeah, someone like Persephone shouldn't even be trying to start serious relationships, she should be learning how to navigate through life with her peers, people who are also still learning crucial life lessons. But that's not what's going to happen. There's something incredibly gross about the fact that the one who's going to have to teach her how to be a functional adult is the 40 year old man who's eventually going to marry her.

[alpaca-clouds]

Relationships and Healing

(Or: The entire thing about healing sex)

⚠️ CW: Rape, forced prostitution ⚠️

You know what? I cannot resist the chance our dear traumatized vampire provides to talk about aspect, that I personally do care a lot about in my writing.

Especially because I saw it discussed in several blogs here. So I just want to talk a bit about my reading and in general with how I deal with the topic when I am writing about. Not only in this fandom, but other fandoms as well. (Will probably also talk about Castlevania a bit further down.)

So, if you have read any of my Tav/Astarion stuff, you might notice that there is sexy things happening - but no sex.

Now, I now a lot of folks read Astarion as ace, but I don't. I read him mostly as just carrying around too much sexual trauma to fully be able to enjoy sex. Because, well. He carries nearly 200 years of sexual trauma. Depending on your dialogue choices (and whether or not you do the romance), he talks about it a bit. How he tried to tell himself that it would not be so bad, if he went for the pretty people, how he might even enjoy it. But of course it ended up very much not working.

A small tangent here: I do kinda appreciate this to some degree. Because it is a surprisingly sensitive portrayal of this. A lot of rape survivors get actually told that they should be happy because "Pretty Person" had sexual interest in them. See also: Celebrity rape cases. (Also, I really do appreciate that they allowed a man to have this backstory, because male sexual abuse gets so often ignored in media or played for laughs.)

Of course it is not only the sexual trauma with him. I mean, this poor man has all the trauma. Literally all of it. Which makes this even more complicated.

So, yeah. I think him holding back on sex is very much that for him sex is equivalent to having his body used. It is not really clear what his life was like before Cazador, but it seems pretty clear that for the last nearly 200 years his experiences with sex were always negative. To him sex is not a thing that happens between two people who want to enjoy it, but a thing that is forced upon him or at best a thing to archive a goal of some sorts. And that is without even going so far and consider sex for love or anything, of which there is a good chance that he never had it, given he was still fairly young when he was turned.

We see that in his behavior, too. When he goes to seduce Tav (or whoever you play as), he does this, because in his mind there is no way that someone is going to help him without payment. Because for 200 years nobody has helped him. And the only payment he knows is paying with his body.

Its also why I find the "sex on his grave" scene a bit sus, because to me it very much reads as him not having a proper coping mechanism to deal with all the feelings he is experiencing after killing Cazador. Because till that point he has coped through snark and through being a general asshole, and now he does not need to do that anymore... and he does not quite know how else to deal.

So, yeah. I decided to have him struggle with all of that. Because it is an experience that a lot of rape survivors have. That they want to have sex again, but somehow their mind just won't allow them. Because whenever they are in a sexual situation, a part of them just goes back into panic mode. Sex itself becomes basically a trigger for the PTSD. (And let's face it. Astarion has not PTSD, but C-PTSD.)

And I just think... He is gonna need a bit time to heal, before he actually is gonna be able to enjoy sex.

I might note, that this is also the reason why I find it a bit sad, that there are very few scenes of him actually interacting with the other characters on the team (outside of the idle banter), because what he needs, too, is friends. Just positive humanoid interaction. I mean, it is a good scene that in whoever you might play as he has a good friend/romantic partner, but... he also just needs more friends.

This kinda brings me over to the other aspect in general: The concept of healing sex or healing through relationships. Which is... a complicated topic, really.

A lot of people keep saying that "healing sex is a thing that only works in fanfiction/media", but I am gonna respectfully disagree with this. Now, of course, physical wounds will not heal through sex (though there is some research that suggest that healing might be quickened just a bit due to hormons and stuff), but for some trauma survivors it actually has a healing effect. Even for some rape survivors. Because for some people it works really well as "overwriting the bad memories with good ones" and to teach the nervous system that it is actually something you can be safe with.

While for others it does not work and might even be triggering.

Because, you know, trauma survivors are different and have different paths to healing.

The other bit is healing through a (romantic) relationship. Which is even more complicated. Because yes, if you have the right partner that definitely can work. But also, it does put a lot of emotional strain on that partner, because they gonna have to deal with all your emotional stuff at your worst moments. Which can make the relationship quite unhealthy, if not everyone is very aware about this.

(This kinda is why so many YA romances, especially straight romances, tend to be so messed up. Because you often have the very sad bad boy, who has this very sad backstory involving tons of trauma... and then a female main character, who has to deal with it. Because of course therapy is nothing that the bad boy ever would go to.)

It is also why I decided to handle my ships with Castlevania the way I did. In my stuff Adrian gets together with Trevor and Sypha only nine months after the end of the series, after having had some time to heal at least a bit before it. He still does need to do a lot of healing - and also needs to learn proper coping strategies - after that. But at least his mental wounds are not as raw any longer as they were by the end of season 4.

Meanwhile Hector and Isaac get together only two years post-canon, because in their case they both have a lot of healing and soul-searching to do until they are in any shape to have a meaningful romantic relationship. And yes, I also made a point out of bringing in Striga, specifically, as someone who is able to offer emotional support to them.

It should also be noted that I kinda do enjoy writing different trauma reactions within those characters. I gave Trevor a ton of sexual trauma (because he was a street kid and street kids usually tend to collect sexual trauma over time), but he is just very willing to latch on to people being good to him and basically use it to overwrite any bad memories he had. Meanwhile Adrian does have to deal with certain things in bed triggering him for a long while, with the trio kinda figuring out bit by bit what he is okay with and what not. And then, we have Hector. Who... takes about five years to actually admit that Lenore raped him and that he has quite a bit of trauma from that. Because it is a thing that actually happens: People only realizing that they are traumatized at a point, when they start to feel actually safe.

So, yeah. Just a few thoughts on this and how I read those characters and their trauma. And yeah, I absolutely do project my own trauma and healing onto some of them. (Especially Hector. I see so much of myself in him.)

And... uhm, I think this is the end of this blog post. If you are interested, please vote in my poll about what I should write for NaNoWriMo this year. The BG3 story would definitely involve some more stuff about Astarion's healing journey, while "His Story" would involve some healing with the forge masters. xD

[nasty-osc-confessions]

Greetings, HC anon here! and I am gonna ramble SO MUCH about Suitcase rn. This will be part one and I am submitting this one early. I have college orientation tomorrow since 2nd term has just begun  (includes some specific shipping scenarios like Suitloon, Basecase, and Knifecase in part 2. Can you guess which one I ship the most? :3 btw i finish both parts, i'm just worried it will be too long to be in one confession and I’ll post part 2 in the morning) *grabs suitcase by the handle and lifts her up* - Surprisingly a B cup even though people thought she is flat, she is just wearing a sports bra as her preference. - Extremely sensitive and I’m not just talking about her pussy- HAHAHAHA yeah good luck giving her love bites and hickeys she will squirm and whimper alot - She enjoys playing music during sex especially if it matches the vibe that’s happening (Whether it be vanilla or rough), she said it’s to cover up your moans when really music hypes her up during sex if she’s gonna ride you - Pretty much a pansexual tbh. As long as you are kind to her and give time to her she will punt you down in bed with love <3 Open to Women, SOME MEN, and people out of the binary gender! - She is a switch but it depends on her moods too whether she feels like topping and doing the work or just lying down and letting her partner please her and court her body. Idk why but she really tries to correlate lust and love at the same time and it really works. - Suitcase does have standards of course. She knows where her limits lie so she isn’t too much into extreme BDSM that involves strapping down to the bed, spanking, and getting sent to the cuck chair 🙁 - She LOVES costumes and roleplay, either you play princess with her or do monsterfucking scenarios with her, she finds it fun when the sex has plot and lore - (In terms of objects): She loves having her straps played and her handle being teased or held while getting rammed and feeling helpless. (In human form that's equivalent to hair pulling and playing with her bra straps) - Ok enough about her bottoming let’s see her on top. She enjoys seeing you on a leash while she rides you or pegs you, calling you pet names like puppy or kitty <3 - You know when I said she loves costumes? Well she will BEG YOU ON HER KNEES to wear a costume for the session, even if it’s just the headband or other accessories. - She hides her sex toys in a secret compartment in her closet, It has a password too so that nobody can get in her secret (It has a Strapon, Small dildo, Vibrators (Big one and the smaller one), Lube, Contraceptives, Dragon shaped dild- YEAH SHE IS SECRETLY A FREAK I’M SORRY SHE ISN’T INNOCENT I’M TELLING YOU) and she cleans those toys at night when everyone is asleep and when her door is locked. - During sex, she only records audios cuz sounds like whimpering, plapping, and other noises turns her on and it’s her jerk off material. Yeah TLDR she’ll thrive with women and nonbinary people, but for men she only goes to 3 of them mentioned from the ships yeah, part two is gonna be a lot..

Very nice as always HC, you have my full attention!

[spacemagicandlaserswords]

The Clone Wars 4.07 ‘Darkness on Umbara’ Reaction Take 2

I’m doing this post and the rest of these second watch reaction posts to the Umbara arc in the more live-blogging style reaction posts I’ve done for other episodes like 1x5 ‘Rookies’, 2x10 ‘The Deserter’ and 4x5 'Mercy Mission'. So much happens in these episodes and I feel like I missed a lot of it in my first reaction posts because I was going through all the emotions.

“Just like old times, Rex” WHY AM I SAD ALREADY

That is some very cool looking nose cone art on the 501st LAAT/i behind Fives. Can’t quite tell what it is but it certainly looks cool.

More Anakin and Obi Wan snark. Excellent. Business as usual then.

Well that’s not ominous at all

Naw, Rex checking in on Tup. I read somewhere that Tup was a shiny on Umbara but I can’t remember if this is canon or fanon.

The clone piloting the LAAT/i is named Hawk! Or at least he is according to the captions. Hey Hawk! More named clones! :D 

“Time to lock and load” CACKLING

The walkers just leap backwards out the back of the low flying LAAT/i’s? How is this a good idea? 

BOING. Yeet the walker.

I think this is the first time we actually hear what the clones are saying on a battlefield. Usually it’s just dialogue between the main characters but now there’s so many of them shouting and cheering and screaming and dying.

Rip the poor clone that jumped out of the LAAT/i and didn’t even make it onto the ground before being shot.

“The enemy could have the whole place rigged with traps.” Dammit Anakin you jinxed it.

“I can’t even see the enemy” Oh that’s going to come back and bite everyone in the arse really badly.

“It’s just a vine” Oh dear.

It’s the Umbaran sarlacc!

Fives being a badass and taking out the monster like it’s nothing. That was quite clever thinking in terrifying circumstances for him to keep his head and figure out he needs to get the monster to eat the explosive.

That shot of the trenches definitely reminds me of WWI and II. They’ve even got the troopers leaning against the sides with their blasters poking above the top.

“Maybe… back in the day” Dayum Rex, there a lot of feeling in that one. 

Surely an ambush and skittering assassin bugs would be something that Anakin would sense in the Force?

Lmao @ Hardcase trying to take out the bug with the blaster equivalent of a rotary canon. That’s like taking a flamethrower to a spider.

Fives have you been gargling gravel or something?

Well at least Anakin got rid of the assassin bug. Again.

That shot of the bombers and Odd Ball bombing the ridge and the ensuing explosion definitely felt like a reference to the Vietnam war.

Ah great, fuck face has arrived. Fuck off Krell.

Lol the ominous music at Krell’s arrival was definitely not foreboding at aaaaaaaaall.

“You won’t find a finer or more loyal trooper anywhere.” DAMN STRAIGHT

How dare you impune Rex’s honour. How dare.

Cackling at Fives look at Rex immediately after Krell buggered off. He is so unimpressed.

Something about Fives’ voice is very… husky. 

“The men don’t need rest” ah fuck off

Oh you did not just address Rex by his fucking number

Is this where Rex got his dramatic flair for disappearing into the fog like he did in ‘Battle Scars’ in The Bad Batch?

I just had a heartbreaking thought. Is Fives here because Echo is gone and he doesn’t have an ARC partner (and twin) anymore? So Rex is doubling as his ARC partner for now until Jesse ends up as the other ARC in Torrent and the 501st? Do ARCs have partners and come in pairs? More angst for this already angst riddled arc (in more ways than one). Yay.

Is this Phase 2 clone armour? I think it is.

Poor Rex is trying to be diplomatic and balance dealing with Krell while also showing his men that he understands their concerns as well. I do like Fives’ view on this. He’s very ‘wear your heart on your sleeve’. I also loved that little exchange, you can really tell all of their different personalities just from that conversation. Hardcase is so gung ho, bless him.

“It’s too quiet out there.” Tup you precious anxious little bean

Rip Oz and Ringo

“You wanna piece of this” Hardcase living his best ‘blast everything’ life 

“I think Hardcase made ‘em mad.” CACKLING

Damn, Tup just taking out that Umbaran with a flip and a point blank blaster rifle shot to the face

“Make ‘em eat heat!” Hardcase is definitely in same vein as an 80s action hero

Rex just casually dual wielding with a horizontal grip like it’s nothing. Sir, you are showing off.

I would let Fives flip me over his shoulder and pound me into the ground. And then thank him for it. I have watched that part multiple times and it does not stop being hot. And the way he just casually stands up all cool and deadly and puts multiple blaster shots into the Umbaran. Sir, please contain your badassery. @nobie also has a fantastic gifset of this moment

Rex’s little flippy roll straight after this made me realise that he and Fives are fighting together. Oh Echo.

It’s almost jarring how noticeable it is that there isn’t a Jedi fighting alongside the clones. I couldn’t quite pick what felt off the first time until someone (Fives, I think?) mentions it later but it’s so obvious now. 

“Ha, ha, ha! Where ya goin’?” Hardcase is having the time of his life atm

Did Krell just shoulder check Fives?!

You can't jab Captain Rex in the shoulder like that!

Fives saying what everyone is thinking there. Also, what kind of Jedi threatens a clone with a lightsaber? Oh that’s right, a Sith.

Rex being an absolute badass

“I think he almost complimented you.” CACKLING

Fives and Rex just casually snarking while in the middle of a battlefield