#but I also didn’t know if that was problematic lol

[gaybd1]

yeah like obvs I’m biased but I do see WAY more Thai and Chinese and even lowkey Vietnamese (and Cambodian in one episode? etc etc) influence in the Fire Nation than Japanese… tbh this statement I’m about to make oversimplifies a LOT of stuff and history so please don’t read into it but I’d almost think of it more like Taiwan than Japan bc it has that Chinese culture with distant Japanese influences… so like tbh that’s why in my fics I use more Chinese names or terms or foods for the FN more often…..

[lildoodlenoodle]

Not the spiderverse art book restarting the dying down Hobie age discourse. With the Japanese version implying he’s a ‘young boy’(I think that’s what it was either way either way) and the book saying ‘he’s much older than miles..’(smth like that either way either way) and it’s like seriously? Again? AGAIN?

The directors said it’s up to interpretation. And the only reason(w/ the exclusion of the people thinking he’s like 30 cause that’s weird and gross, re-examine some racial biases)that people are so adamant he is or isn’t a minor is because of shipping! Whether it’s with one of the spider teens or with OCs or justifying self shipping it’s weird! It’s weird that that’s the reason people are going nuts over this shit and dying on their respective hills. And let people have their HCs holyshit.

And to reiterate: it’s not proshipping/pedoshit if someone HCs Hobie as a teen and ships them with one of the spider teens. It’s not necessarily fetishization and is not pedoshit if people HC him as a young adult and do self ships or whatever else goes on there.

It’s fandom let people fuck around. Something doesn’t have to be justified as morally wrong for you not to like it. Stop trying to force your own Head Canons, key word HEAD as in the canon in your head, onto other people.

Sorry for the rant I just cannot believe it’s still going.

[my-adventure-begins-here]

1:43am 10/26/24

Lmao it has been the longest year of my life and it feels like I’ve learned nothing and everything at the same time. I don’t even know what to say anymore. However I do know that I’m stressed, I have no money and no job. Idk lol the universe just keeps testing me!!!!! My friends keep dying or relapsing and I’m doing the one thing Marisa told me not to do lmao oops

Speaking of Marisa, I might get to see her when I pick up my one year and idk if I’d cry or throw up from anxiety lol. I will have a fuckin year completely clean and sober next month. And I’m still homeless and I lost my job lmao and have no savings, and I still live in a very toxic halfway. But I have my cat, and he saves me every day.

There’s a lot in my head. Too much. Also I went on an old tag here on this blue dot. I didn’t think the tag still worked, well, it does. And I fell right back into some version of seventeen year old me.

[ramp-it-up]

Knock You Down: III

Summary: James Bucky Barnes is an avowed bachelor and one night stand artist. But when he meets you, he finds out that sometimes love comes around, and it knocks you down. Bucky feeds you after the failure of date number 2.

This is a follow up to Part II

Word count: 2.3 K

Pairing: Art Dealer (mob boss) Bucky Barnes x Reader

A/N: Okay I Lied! I added more words as I edited this and it ended up over 5K. So... there will be four parts to this fic which has posessed my soul. It will be posted Tuesday 10/15. Thank all of you for rocking with me on this one. This was in part inspired by Seb Stan's latest pics and this press run 🫠, and partially inspired by an old song by some problematic people, lol. This is the result. As usual, I am Basil Exposition, so this is broken into parts.

Warnings: 18+ Only, Minors DNI. Read at your own risk. Slow burn, cursing, mutual pining, idiots in love, playful banter. Bucky and reader talk about sex, without talking about it. Or doing it. This is fluffy, yet angsty and I feel like you might not like it. Let me know if you do.

I no longer have a taglist. Please follow @rampitupandread and turn on notifications to learn when I post! 😘

I Do NOT Consent to my work being reposted, translated or presented on any other blog or site other than by myself.

-----

Bucky Barnes was sitting at your table eating Thai food with you and you weren’t mad. He had ordered twice the amount you requested and damn you, you thought it was cute.

He was cute, casual in t-shirt, sweats and a ball cap. He looked as alluring as he did in a suit.

You were doomed.

Bucky didn't try to get into a deep discussion or get close to you. He just kept you company as you ate and poured you some of the best rosé that you’d ever tasted. 

Food was your love language, and having good food did a lot for your mood. It also didn’t hurt that the delicious snack known as James Bucky Barnes was sitting across from you.

You respected his game.

But somehow you didn’t think it was a game. He’d been honest and straightforward with you. As much as a man in his position could be. Then you realized that he’d probably told you too much.

“What is it, Frumoasă? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Are you here to give me a last meal and then kill me?”

Bucky laughed loudly. He loved that you had the ability to make him do that. He loved…

“That mind of yours, Y/N.” 

He shook his head at you.

“I’m not going to kill you. I want you safe. Even if you are not going to be mine.”

Your ears perked up at that phrase.

You already knew that Nico was parked outside of your place. You realized that he had been hanging around since Monday night. 

But what you were tripping over is that Bucky said that he wanted you to be his. 

You normally weren’t into possessiveness, but on James Barnes it was sexy as fuck.

After eating, it was only polite that you gave him a tour of your brownstone. He didn’t touch you, but the proximity of his body to yours at the door of your bedroom was heady stuff. You wanted him to… 

But you just took a deep breath and led him back down to your front door.

“Before you kick me out, I have something to say.”

Bucky had never felt the need to explain anything to anyone in a very long time. But you weren’t just anyone.

“I apologize for giving you a security detail without your knowledge. And then piling my friends on as well. They wanted to check you out, and I wanted to be sure that you were safe. Those gossip blog posts have heightened the risk for you.”

Your eyes widened.

“What posts?”

“We’ve been papped every time we’ve gone out. You didn’t know? I thought that’s why you asked what you did tonight.”

You groaned. 

“No, my friends must have seen them. What do they say?”

Bucky hesitated. Just a moment, and then responded to the look on your face. He ascertained that he was going to have to be straight with you consistently if he wanted to be in your company.

“Well… Since we’ve been spotted together more than once, one particular site is claiming that we’re already in a relationship. They say you are my girlfriend.”

The softness of his voice when he said ‘girlfriend’ got to you.

Whoo boy.

You groaned, then laughed.

“That’s ridiculous, you’ve never even kissed me.”

Bucky laughed too.

“Ha ha. Yeah. It’s crazyyyyyy.” 

“Isn’t it though…?

You tried to look deep into his eyes, and he let you. You saw something that didn’t really surprise you. So you decided to just ask the question that was on your mind.

“James, what do you want out of this? This…”

You didn’t say what you were thinking, but he knew exactly what you were thinking when you didn’t finish your sentence.

Bucky looked off as if he were seeing something that wasn’t there yet, then back at you.

“I want… you. I don’t want a one night stand. Or a situationship.”

He watched you carefully as he said the next words.

“I want, I need so much more from you.”

He took both of your hands into his as he leaned against the door frame.

“Listen. When you left earlier this evening, it knocked me on my face. You’ve got me thinking about a lot. Things like what our life might be like in the future.”

You were spiraling as he spoke. ‘Our life,’ ‘future.’ But you tried to remain calm.

“This was never supposed to happen to me. Y/N. But ever since you came into my office on Monday, my heart has been racing. I’ve got feelings for you. Strong ones.”

“Wow.”

It was all you could say. But when you thought about it, you felt the same exact way. You smiled at him and his nerves calmed. 

Just a bit.

“I have to admit that every morning when you text me, I get the biggest smile on my face. That wasn’t something I wanted or planned.”

You looked down at your fingers entwined with his. Yes. This could be a thing.

“It’s not exactly convenient to have these kinds of feelings this fast, James. Especially with all has happened.”

You looked up at him, and the hurt on your face destroyed him.

“I’m really sorry, Y/N. And I understand if you want to pump the breaks. I-”

“If you want me, then why haven’t you made a move?”

You interrupted him to ask about the next most important topic on your list.

Bucky recognized your insecurity.

“Don’t ever doubt the sexiness of your appeal, Frumoasă. I want to kiss you, and more to be honest. But I haven’t because I am so afraid of you.”

The way he looked at you caused a tingle of fear to unfurl in your belly.

Or was it desire? 

“You are afraid of me. I see. You’re a terrible kisser. That’s why you don’t go on second dates. I get it now.”

Bucky threw back his head and laughed.

“Maybe so.”

He gazed at your smile and the way your entire face was alight. Then he brought one of your hands to his lips.

His mouth on your palm enabled you to feel the salt and pepper whiskers on his face. And when he slid those lips to your wrist you moaned a little and squirmed and his eyelids fluttered closed as he inhaled the scent there.

“The skin here is so soft and fragrant, makes me wonder about…”

He stopped speaking but the silence spoke volumes. This man was having wild thoughts about you. Of that you were sure now. You wanted him everywhere.

Bucky brought your hand down from his face and rubbed your wrist with his thumb. The sensuality of the act made you feel unstable. You must have wobbled because his hand went down to your waist to steady you. But you just felt more dizzy.

He chuckled at your tell and saved you again.

“Can we sit?”

“Yeah.”

The couch was a bit dangerous, but the blood was leaving your head.

“Truth?”

“Always, James.”

“Okay. The truth is I don’t think you could handle it.”

You scoffed at the challenge.

“Come again?”

He smirked at you and you rolled your eyes and then he sobered up.

“If I kiss those lips, Y/N, I’m not going to abandon them in haste. I’m going to take my time. And I’m not being cocky, but I’m pretty sure things will progress rapidly. I’m not sure I’m going to be able to stop myself from giving you anything you ask for. Anything.”

The sensual promise was making you wet. You clenched your thighs together, causing Bucky to look down at them and lick his lips. When he looked back up, his eyes were dilated.

You knew that you could have him right now if you wanted. You took a deep breath to clear your head and Bucky’s eyes were on your lips.

This feeling was a drug.

“I’m already falling for you, but I know that I will crash into you. I can get intense about the things and the people that I care about. And you’re not ready for that, Frumoasă. Not at all.”

You pulled your hands away from his even though you wanted to jump his bones. 

“How do you know what I’m ready for, Mr. Barnes?”

Bucky smiled at you.

“You just said that your feelings for me aren’t convenient.”

You sucked your teeth at him and crossed your arms, turning your body away from him. Bucky was charmed by your pout, but a little mad at you closing yourself off from him. If you were his, he’d teach you a lesson about that. He’d open you up. 

But damn, he didn’t need to be so hard right now. You had an important day ahead, and he wasn’t going to rush this experience. He tried to calm down, but his voice betrayed him.

“You also haven’t asked me for a kiss. Although you did tell me that you wanted to fuck my voice...”

You dropped your head, embarrassed.

“Let’s not!”

He laughed, on cloud nine at your shyness with him. He’d teach you to be wanton, and have a grand time doing it.

“Frumoasă mea, you could request a kiss at any time. And I will always give you anything you ask of me. If you ask nicely of course.”

You cocked your head and Bucky bit his lip at how adorable you were.

“You want me to beg you for a kiss?”

Bucky took in the fire in your eyes and his own darkened.

“A kiss is not what I want you begging for.”

You coughed to cover a whimper as your mind went where Bucky wanted it to go. You couldn’t believe that your panties were soaked by someone you’d never even kissed.

“I just want you to know what you’re signing up for if we get physical.”

“From a kiss? It’s like that?”

You tried to be incredulous, but you believed every word that he said. You just wanted to verify.

“So let me get this straight. I kiss you, you rock my world, but I’m not ready for it?”

You’d never been so annoyed yet so turned on.

Bucky shrugged.

“Or you could be right. I’m a horrible kisser. A lousy lay. I’m just trying to stretch out the good times with you before you find that out and dump me.”

You shook your head at him, not wanting to laugh, but doing so anyway.

“...But, in order to find that out, I would have to kiss and lay with you.”

“Of course.”

“You know what…”

Bucky teasing you was the best kind of foreplay. You felt comfortable with him. And now you were intrigued.

“I can’t with you.”

“So we agree.”

“I hate you.”

“You don’t, but you’re cute when you’re angry.”

“Fuck you, James.”

“Is that a request?”

This banter was everything.

You got up from the couch and headed into the kitchen.

“I’m going get you something to drink. Do you drink tea? You seem a little thirsty.”

“As long as you drink with me. You seem a little parched yourself.”

Bucky called after you while watching your curves in your sweats as you flipped him off. He rubbed his hand on the ridge of his semi-hard dick. You were so damn hot. He concentrated on calming down while the kettle heated.

“Honey?”

“Yes, dear?”

You laughing was amazing.

You came back with a tray of herbal tea, milk, and honey and sat down again.

“I do want to talk to you about something else.”

He said it as he prepared his cup.

“Yes?” 

“I want to let you know, as much as I can, the plans for me to go legit. Can I have just a little bit of your time tonight? And then I will let you get some rest.”

Your heart melted and you smiled at him.

“Yeah. You got it.”

—-

You woke up at 3 am, Bucky’s steady heartbeat under your ear and his arms wrapped around you. You had fallen asleep after hours of talking about the future. You looked up at him and those lips were right there. 

You could just steal a kiss.

But you didn’t, just tried to ease out of his arms so you could go pee.

Bucky’s arms tightened around you and you couldn’t move. He was awake.

“What time is it?”

“A little after three.”

He let you go and sat up, looking around, then at you.

“I’m sorry, I talked your ear off and bored you to sleep.”

You shook your head. 

“I wasn’t bored. You made me feel safe.”

Bucky grinned.

“I’m glad that you feel safe with me. You are, you know.”

His morning voice was sensual heaven. You never wanted to kiss someone more in your life.

“And for your safety, I probably need to leave now.”

You wanted him; his body felt good against yours. But he was right. You chuckled and then led him to your door.

“Okay.”

At the door, Bucky turned and looked down at you. He was thoughtful.

“Do you have plans for Sunday?”

“No, why?”

“I wanted to ask you on date number three Saturday night.”

You two stared at each other for a beat before he continued.

“How do you feel about a late dinner at my place after the exhibition? Since you don’t have to get up early the next day.”

You took in his meaning, but you didn’t address it.

“Are you trying to feed me, James?”

His gaze got intense. You got wet again, realizing the double meaning. 

“You have no idea, Frumoasă.”

Holy shit. He caught it too. You gulped.

“Okay. Sounds… intriguing.”

Bucky looked like a little boy on Christmas morning.

“I’ll stop by the center around midday, then go shopping for our meal. Nico will bring you by. About 8?”

“It’s a date.”

You two grinned at each other like idiots. Then he opened your door to leave.

“James.”

“Yes, Frumoasă?”

“Can I have a kiss?”

“Yes.”

He pulled you into his arms and kissed you on the forehead. It was perfect, and a little bit like a promise.

Then he left, straight into the early morning fog, waving at Nico as he got into a sleek black sports car, blew a kiss at you, and then pulled away.

That felt like an escape from the inevitable.

To both him and to you.

——

As always, let me knowww! ❤️

Part IV Here

[prinzrupprecht]

How they React to you Being Chosen for Ragnarok

Featuring: Okita, Wukong, Cu Chulainn, and Loki

Lol decided to just try Wukong. Sorry for adding Cu again!

Okita

You had met him since he was summoned to Valhalla alongside his friends and adoptive father. You were pretty powerful yourself as a master swordswoman of the Sengoku period being known as the best Iaijutsu user in history wielding one of Muramasa’s cursed blades, so it was no surprise that Brunhilde had chosen you to represent humanity in a battle tournament.

Souji was quiet about it for a while. He didn’t know why you were chosen and could potentially die. He had grown incredibly fond of you while training with him and the others. Why were you chosen? It never stuck well with him and he’d rather be the one to die and not you.

You were way too kind and treated him like a human. Losing you would leave an impact on him. All he could do was support you in your choice to partake in this death battle.

Even when you tell him it was fine and that you’ll win no matter what. Souji tried to smile even when you both knew things could go wrong at any time. He wondered who would you be fighting. What kind of an opponent you would be up against? It upset him deeply but all he could do was pout over it for a while.

When Ragnarok starts, you want to be the one to show off your amazing swordsman skills that you honed over the many years before he came to Valhalla.

“No matter what or who I face, I want to give it my all!” Smiling gleefully at your words. Souji and the others would cheer for you to the end. Even the knot forming in his abdomen would never be settled until you returned to him.

Wukong

While you were in the meeting room sitting next to the former problematic child, Wukong and a few of his sworn brothers waiting for the list of chosen Ragnarok representatives. You personally didn’t care if you were chosen but seeing Wukong attempt to sleep and not care about the list made you chuckle.

You were tempted to flick the book off his face but didn’t want to irk him. “Oh, look your name!” One of the sages next to Wukong pointed. Huh?

“Eh?! I was chosen?!” You squealed and covered your mouth. You over Sun Wukong? Even as one of the strongest goddesses of sorcery, he was far stronger and battle IQ was higher than yours.

Wukong took the book off his face to see the list of names due to curiosity. You over him? Baffling. Was he offended? A little. However, he wasn’t going to show his annoyance over it. He honestly, couldn't care less about being chosen for Ragnarok.

However, with the drastic commotion of the other gods that weren’t chosen… you were worried whether Wukong was upset that you were among the chosen.

Not in particular with his demeanour showing how little he was interested in fighting but was going to partake in the god tournament for the hell of it. “You’re not upset?!” You asked without hesitation.

“Nah, I don’t care.” Was his answer. Just as he was about to walk towards the arena he turned his head giving you a smirk and telling you better win your fight. This was also your chance to prove how strong you were as one of his companions for many years and someone who means a lot to him even if he hides his feelings. He was too egotistical at times refusing to acknowledge his feelings for you, but deep down, he wouldn’t know what to think if you lost and died.

Cu Chulainn

An hour after being chosen to be a part of Ragnarok, you couldn’t wait to find out who you would be fighting. However, those from your pantheon have been ignoring you including your beloved, Cu. Morrigan calls you useless and that she should’ve been chosen instead. You weren’t bothered by her words. You didn’t retaliate to get her riled up.

Cu wasn’t anywhere to be found but then you remembered about the side tournament thingy… oh maybe he was going to participate in that?

You saw him petting Geiss but he didn’t look at you nor acknowledge you. “Are you upset or mad? It’s not my fault the old geezer chose me on the roster!” You pouted while clenching your fists into balls.

“Why are you yelling? Geez, you’re just as bad as Morrigan.” His words made your left eye twitch. Did he compare you to Morrigan?!

Wha— me? To her?! You told me a thousand times I’m better than that woman! Whatever, I’m not watching your match.” You went to leave stubbornly, Cu was never this rude to you. Despite all your neediness and clinginess to him, you were ready to show how you weren’t weak.

Cu didn’t rush after you considering how his match was very soon and he already joined the god vs god tournament. He wanted to win for other reasons, however, he didn’t want things to be on bad terms with you either.

You were incredibly stubborn but always listened to the higher-ups unlike him. He always liked your goody-two-shoe nature. He’d have to find you later and explain his irritated behaviour over a lot of things.

“What a bothersome…” he groaned knowing he had to make amends later with you. This was a norm and it’s what makes him attracted to you.

Loki

You were sitting beside Loki with your knees up to your chest as he was leaning on one arm bored like usual while Zeus talked. “The old man never shuts up…” he mumbled while Zeus was explaining Ragnarok and would show the list of chosen gods or goddesses that made the fighter list.

A few moments had passed before Zeus showed the list of god fighters. “Ah! You’ve been chosen Loki~! Oh, wait— me too?!” You saw it correctly, you were unsure how to take it. Shock? Zeus recognized your own strength and believed that you were worthy enough to be in Ragnarok?

“No freaking way…” Loki gritted his teeth. Why did he pick you? Zeus should’ve known better! Was he mad? Yes. Beyond pissed. He wouldn’t want anything to happen to you and it was driving him up the wall. Thor even noticed his irritation.

“Huh? Is something wrong?” You looked at him obliviously as he fell silent. He couldn’t do anything about it either, could he convince you to drop out and give your spot up for someone else? Maybe, but you could hate him for it.

“It’s nothing,” he pulled away from you despite how you two were always close to one another like a couple. Something was off with him and you already could tell why he was upset.

After the meeting, you followed behind him closely despite his quietness and being upset about you being a fighter as well. “Loki~ I’m not weak! I can handle my own! Why else would Zeus choose me?” You poured but he stopped walking.

“No, no. It’s not that, you seem too calm about it. You better not lose to an inferior human…” he tilted his head to the side to get a better glimpse at you. He had high hopes for you while also thinking that humans weren’t strong, after all, you were a great sorcerer like him.

“Ha! Why would I lose? Loki~ you know I’m not that weak,” you walked up to him hands his arms unexpectedly.

“After all, we should win this. You and me! And be together forever after!” Your smile has always melted his heart away. His worries were completely gone as he held onto you.

“I wouldn’t want anything more than that.” He whispered in your hair. He would always be there for you whenever you needed as the same with you. He’d rather die if you were gone.

[cloveroctobers]

RODEO — Javi Rivera.

A/N: got the chance to see twisters on my birthday and it ofc inspired me to finally write something for Anthony lol. This isn’t going to be anything big since I still want to be on break until late September early October. Am I going to give Javi the love his deserves or am I going to be messy? What type of summer is it? A brat girl summer…whatever that means 😉

WARNINGS: language + stepping out of relationships, mentions of another character from challengers, reader and Kate don’t get along, mentions of minor smut/sexual relations, and ended up different than I originally planned. Enjoy!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚

A text on short notice never bothered you.

Granted you had to take a ride from Brooklyn to Manhattan but majority of the time Javi was considerate, letting you know when he was going to be on your new side of town—you were a South Carolina native—and the both of you would make it work. He had this experiment that he worked on with his old friend Kate that actually proved to work this time and with some other guy that had the widest laughter lines you’ve ever seen. A classic cowboy—you deemed him as—that looked awfully familiar when you met him in passing at a dinner you didn’t know you were “imposing” in on.

Kate’s words not Javi or the cowboy’s.

The trio were going back and forth to the city, mostly Kate and the cowboy you learned to be named Tyler but once Javi learned you were in the city too? (Apparently Kate found a home in New York also, working in Mahattan after what went down in Oklahoma five years ago.) He had no problem trying to get to you. You learned that Kate didn’t approve of what you two had going on (Javi let it slip one night as he smacked on some chips and you sipping on some terribly made Kombucha around the outside of the usual meet up spot once he touched down in NY), considering that you were engaged to someone else and that someone was slowly rising in the public eye, Patrick Zweig…you may or may not know him.

Tyler did.

To keep it short, this wouldn’t be the first time that you didn’t give a fuck about what Kate Carter had to say about you. Back in college the both of you tried to get along but it’s just the common case of two people not being able to mesh well. You didn’t appreciate how Kate always felt like she was right, sure the girl was crazy intelligent but she didn’t enjoy your sarcasm or want to listen to your opinions on anything, she found your lack of drive for storm chasing to be confusing on why you bothered to hang out with the group when that was their sole connection, and didn’t understand the relationship you had with her boyfriend, Jeb who was actually your friend first and you were the one who introduced them at a party—it was childish sure but even years later you didn’t need her judgment.

Which is why you and Javi were always discreet. Moments with your college friend in the present never felt like enough but reminded you that you often wondered what it would have been like if you had a different ring on your finger given to you by someone else. Javi always made it his mission to take it right off, slamming it in the drawer beside the bed before interlocking his fingers right with yours as he rocked you into the temporary mattress.

That never lasted long since you loved to be on top. Just ask Tyra’s problematic self! And who was Javi to say no, having you above him like this? like the true goddess that loved to be in control, you never left his mind, even when he struggled to keep his eyes open at the rotation of your hips. His fingertips would leave bruises but you never complained, you liked him leaving marks. Javi felt like this should be wrong, of course he cared about you, maybe even more than that, always did but he had his head turned in a different direction once upon a time. He wasn’t sure if your feelings were genuine or just something to pass the time but he was the first person you told that you didn’t want to marry Patrick after accepting his proposal.

People pleasing was never something that you often did so why were you settling for a man who was fucking around with not only his ex but some strangers on tinder? Javi did his research on your fiancé, some tennis athlete that didn’t have the best stats which was odd since it seemed like he was in his prime in college, Javi would give him credit on that, it was evident that this Patrick guy knew how to play yet something was missing in his gameplay. It was also safe to say that Javi didn’t think Patrick was even your type to be honest…but maybe you had other people in your head too much about where you should be in life.

When it was time to have those deep conversations, like you were nineteen again, present you didn’t want to hear it majority of the time with your fingers in his curls and another hand feeling a part of Javi that was always ready for you. Javi always cursed himself for folding every time you got your hands on him, he wanted to know what was going to become of this relationship but he couldn’t help it.

A piece of your heart was okay for a little while.

There was something about you that he never wanted to let go. You weren’t with the crew when that tornado touched down in Oklahoma that day, you got into an argument with Jeb that day for putting you on the back burner for their project, and as usual Javi checked in on you the best that he could since he was also part of the experiment. You brushed it off like you always did, tired of being the main one to put your frustrations out there; since you were basically the black sheep to the group and clocked into your shitty part time job with Javi promising that he would come check you out once they were done out there. The aftermath of it all also whipped through the friendship that was once there. There was tension no doubt, misdirected anger of course, your unresolved feelings for Jeb, Javi wishing he could have been at two places at once—as if he could have saved his friends from something so destructive with just his two hands. Kate became a ghost, you actually didnt have much to say to her like you thought you would, she was a walking frostbite, with a limp so prominent, disconnected, and leaving a numbing coldness trail behind her everywhere she went the longer she stayed in Oklahoma. It was sad because you knew she had to witness it all and that would forever haunt her.

Unfortunately that bitterness gave you joy. Javi dropped out of college but you kept at it, to distract you from the what if’s along with the great loss and when he thought the military was his best option, you tried to beg him to stay with a kiss that wasn’t the answer to your shared pain. He’s done the dissociating shit before as a way of grieving, he just hoped that you being with him now wasn’t your way of escaping whatever you were still running from.

Storm chasing wasn’t really your thing, don’t think you didnt try but Kinesiology and bull riding was more of your passion. Javi liked to trace and kiss those scars on your body because of that old hobby when you allowed him to hold you afterwards but he had them memorized just like you with his freckles. Yet you still kept coming around which really confused Kate but you got along with everyone else for the most part. The dance parties and stick and poke tattoos with Addy, the 150 questions the hypochondriac Praveen had for you about body horror stories he caught himself reading and watching! And wanting to know what proper care he would have (as if you were suddenly a doctor and not a kinesiology major) to take if that ever happened to him—getting struck by lighting wasn’t enough to get him to stop storm chasing but it was his life and he lived it how he wanted, and then there was Jeb. You used to be able to catch each other’s eyes from across the room and send each other ridiculous facial expressions before carrying on and eventually finding each other later. The shift in your friendship changed once you got left outside of the team. You began to connect with party-man Javi once Jeb started to slip away and build something more with Kate.

It’s always funny how that works out in friend groups isn’t it?

Coming in sync was always something you made your priority. Knowing Javi’s ticks and studying not only his face but his body always made you kick it up a notch, just crossing a boundary that you knew he would try to tap out but you proved to know his body better than he did himself and Javi honestly wanted to hate you for it but couldn’t.

He didn’t think anybody could lock you down—not even your fiancé—and it was something he always thought of when you put your back to him and let him to hold you while you briefly checked your phone.

No new messages from the Fiancé!

Javi peeped.

This Patrick guy didn’t give a fuck about you, just liked having a place to rest his head in instead of his car that you probably paid majority of the rent on. That’s right, Javi always remembered your blabbering once you had too many aperol spritz and what seemed to open you up more on a personal level lately.

“Want something from the café downstairs?” You asked, turning your phone face down to peek back at Javi who was still panting.

Javi slowly blinked, lifting his head in search of the alarm clock to find out what time it is.

[1:40 am]

You were making it your mission to try everything at least once on the menu every time Javi flew in. It was your usual hotel with a delicious café and you just about finished everything on the lunch and dinner menu except for two items that didn’t seem that appetizing to you. This time around you snuck up behind Javi and his laptop while he was downstairs about to dig into one of the dinners he wouldn’t share with you at one of the high rise tables…you were onto the breakfast menu.

He slips his free arm to caress the bone by your ear, “I want you.”

You snort, “I’ll give you another round when you can handle it, preferably in the shower since I’m meeting the girls at 8 for hot yoga. Breakfast can come as early as 6.”

The freckled face man fought the urge to roll his eyes at this. Since when the hell were into hot yoga of all things? The rough around the edges person seemed to be morphed into something else but Javi knew you were still in there somewhere. Don’t get him wrong, Yeah people grow and you’re into what you want to be into but he would have never guessed you hanging out doing yoga or brunch or even having a routine. Maybe axe throwing but he guessed he better be thankful for the yoga since you seemed to be more flexible every time the both of you tried a new position.

Javi tossed in, “is your bitch of a soon to be husband, Patrick joining in on that session?”

You quirk up a brow at this energy but don’t work to defend him, “…never mix business with pleasure.”

Which meant that you never brought multiple parties into your relationship together. He did his thing and you did yours. Patrick was never faithful to you, you knew it and Javi knew it too, you couldn’t be upset about it because you never truly wanted to marry him. There was no wedding date set because frankly the both of you were still young and trying to figure it out. It was selfish since you were still holding out hope that Patrick will actually make something of himself but you both weren’t sure if you even liked each other besides having nightcaps or getting people off your backs when you were seen together. The both of you were lonely, him more than you—if you wanted to make it a competition but it’s what worked and it didn’t need to make sense. It just made Patrick’s family (who were a lot to handle and always kept referring to two of his exes before you in front of you) happy that he had a “stable” person in his life for once and it got your parents off your back—some—but not without their own sly comments.

“Is that what your relationship is?”

You shrug, “yeah.”

“And what about us?”

You turn your face away to reach for the card, “i think you’ll like the BLT French toast or even the prosciutto toast—

He nudges your face back to meet his sunlit honey eyes and there wasn’t an ounce of humor in them. “Listen, I’m serious. We got too much history to keep downplayin’ this. I’m moving back to Miami by the end of the summer and I just want to know how much longer we’re gonna keep doing this. Is this only just sex for you or what?”

Javi’s thumb burns into your skin now and his stare is sharp. You try not to get lost in his eyes and the tightness in your chest isn’t the most pleasant. You’re scared and have been scared before with Jeb but there’s no risk without action. Or whatever it is they say.

“…if you’re in love with me, just say that.”

Javi blinks, “What I know is that you won’t be marrying Patrick Twig—

“That’s not—

“I’m not done.”

Javi ignores the tilt of your head at his command, “You’re better than this and I know you see that when you look in the mirror. Maybe you didn’t fully heal yet and that’s not me tryin’ to disrespect you or nothing but I’m just callin’ it like I see it. I could give you the world besides just this or shit, as least try to but only if that’s what you want because I know what you need and it definitely ain’t a bozo who can’t even take care of what he thinks is his.”

You can always count on Javier Rivera to tell you exactly how it is. He was on your case about your feelings for Jeb just like you were with his with Kate but that all changed once the two started dating. It would have made sense for the both of you to gravitate towards each other then but the need to compensate for what you both missed out on wasnt fulfilling that void with forced love. It was platonic then but what was it now?

“…Do you think I’m yours?”

Javi puffs out a breath at this, “respectfully, imma need you to stop answering me with questions and just be honest with yourself and me. I don’t know how much longer I can keep holding out.”

“But you don’t, not unless I say so anyways.” You wink reaching to caress the back of his shoulder blade but Javi isn’t budging, which makes you sigh, “…okay fine. I hear you, you don’t want to be in a situationship with me anymore.”

Javi nods and awaits for you to say more but the glazed over look in your eyes, tells him that you’re trying to get out of this and he won’t lie, it stings.

“Here’s the thing,” you start with an intake of breath, “you’re right, I’m probably never going to marry Patrick. We’re equally each other’s placeholders, as fucked up as it sounds it’s true. As for this…”

Javier swallows the lump in his throat, just waiting on you to break his heart.

“You’re not the first person to pull this. It’s not my first rodeo…and no that doesn’t mean I’ve been with anyone else outside of you. I wouldn’t do that, not to you. You’re too important.” You admit, “and if we’re gonna do this…I just need you to be patient with me.”

A grin splits onto Javi’s face then, “so that does mean you love me?!”

“…I didn’t say all that.”

He smooches your cheek multiple times that makes your nose crinkle, “you didn’t have to, I can just tell.”

“How?” You ask as he rests his head back on the cloud-like pillow beside yours.

Javi hums, “I’m real in touch with my feminine side you know? Raised by my mom and aunties, got a sister that really wants to meet you—

“Huh? What?”

“Baby steps though,” Javi promises seeing the smidge of panic in your eyes, “I just need more confirmation that you’re going to try this with me. And that you’re not gonna run away since that is kinda what we all do.”

It was your turn to be vulnerable like Javi knew you could be. So you turn to face Javi, face to face and take a moment. “…I can’t say that I’m not scared and not of you but just the idea of actually being loved more than the intimacy and I’m sure you’re more than capable of giving that to me…it’s just that I get in my head a lot.”

Javi nods, “well it’s okay to be scared…Rome wasnt built in a day. We’ve been diligent—

“What if this doesn’t work—

“Nah, we’re not gonna back out when we just started.” Javi slips his hands down to clasp your hands in his, “We keep going, we love, we share—

“Just like your sandwich last night?”

Javi snorts, “we’re all works in progress, don’t hold that against me, baby.” He pecks your hands while you laugh a little, “we do what feels right and I got to ask, does this feel right to you as it does for me?”

You press your forehead against his, “every time I’m with you it does…as much as I try to block you out when we’re away from each other…I can’t. I wont.”

Javi pulls back to kiss your forehead, “bet. Feelings mutual and i just needed to hear you say it so…now that we’re on the same page…go ahead and order me that prosciutto and meet me in the shower.”

He’s kicking the covers back as you sit up on your elbow, “I’m not debating over which asscheek of yours is bigger than the other again.”

Javi sucks his teeth as leans against the doorway of sliding bathroom door in all his naked glory, “you pointed that out, I just wanted to know if the freckles on my left asscheek were also shaped like a palm tree like the ones on my chest.”

Scrunching up your nose, you hold your hand up in the air as if that defense was any better. Javi’s laughter suddenly turns dark as he takes in your appearance and slowly steps back as something stands to your attention.

“So…you joinin’ me or are you just going to continue watching the show?” He points behind himself, slowly stepping back.

Sighing you fold your arms back behind you, “ah…I’ll think about it finster.”

Javi sucks his teeth, stomping right back into the room to yank the tight hotel sheets back from the bed making you hiss at the coolness of the AC. “No way you just compared me to a rugrat.”

He pulls you right into his arms, limbs locking around him easily as you toy with the ends of his curls as he spins you around to lead you right into the bathroom, “did I?” You tease, bumping your nose against his before pulling back, “wait! You didn’t let me order.”

“Guess we’re skipping breakfast now and you might be late to yoga, sorry not sorry.” He mutters before slamming his lips right against yours.

Your thighs alone clench right around his hips as Javi slips his tongue along the shape of your lips while feeling around for the shower latch.

This time around, as sure as you are of the racing of your heart, you’re willing to let Javi lead this round…for now.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚

read more twisters anthology fics here.

[chaifootsteps]

The Valentino and Angel Dust section are infuriating and I have to rant about it:

1) Vivziepop can’t complain when people reduce Angel Dust to a sex joke when that’s all the promotional stuff does for him. It’s just “he did porn. Laugh”. His personality is just porn and abuse. This isn’t interesting and honestly just offensive. I actually wish when I thought he was at worst, a 90s gay stereotype

2) The playbills not mentioning Valentino being a serial rapist/abuser is fucking annoying but whatever, it’s meant to be more lighthearted. What annoys me is that all they talk about instead is how hot he is and that’s it. Not his personality or interests, nothing that makes him complex or nuance or just a little bit INTERESTING like his fans pretend he is. Just weird affirmations for a serial rapist.

3) this also explains why Vivziepop is weirdly passive aggressive towards people who hate Valentino. She wanted everyone to see him as a sexy problematic yaoi boyfriend and when a lot of survivors understandably didn’t, and had a massive issue with people trying to woobify a man who’s only lines are about how much he loves murder and rape, she got angry. Which is so telling because she’s so fandom and porn brained that she didn’t realize some survivors wouldn’t look past Valentino’s abusive behavior to find him sexy.

4) The gags about the weird titles of porn films that Angel Dust has starred in aren’t funny but far less funny when you know none of it is consensual. Why is Vivziepop still trying to push this joke about how funny it is that Angel Dust is a porn star and is owned by Valentino. Even in merch like Youtooz they make jokes about it. As if we didn’t see what the porn films actually look like, where he’s visibly in pain and literally beat up LOL.

5) Vivziepop’s obsession with incest and pedophilia, particularly with underaged boys needs to be studied dude. I’m not saying Vivziepop is a pedophile but it’s such a frequent pattern of hers and it adds to that obsession with seeing queer men suffering. Yes porn is pretty notorious for having problematic themes like incest and pedophilia but when you know how she treated some of her underaged male zoophobia characters (cough cough ADDISON cough) it’s just makes me side eye her a bit

6) also want to add that obsession with “the pure boy” plus the script that would go on and on about how Angel dust is a little boy is fucking creepy. I wouldn’t be shocked if Viv was ever exposed as a shotacon

7) if Valentino dies and Angel dust still makes constant sex jokes and still sexually harasses men then Viv no longer has a right to complain when people point it out

Nailed it. "He did porn. Laugh," is pretty much the show's entire philosophy when it comes to Angel Dust, and one they refuse to budge from even when the moment is meant to be horrifying and serious.

There's no need to wait on her being exposed for it -- Viv absolutely used to be into shota. Apparently, she and Dollcreep would sit around RPing all kinds of horrifying stuff with underage Addison. But that said, this was back during a time when maybe one out of ten people in the fandom thought twice about that. It's hard to stress enough how lackadaisical people used to be about fiction.

[jolynesmom]

aging yourself up or down in your dr (+ dating)

I actually refrained from talking on this topic on my tiktok since I knew I was going to get chased off the app and didn’t see a point in talking about it on tumblr since everybody here seems to be more open minded and mind their own business, until I saw multiple posts a few days ago here, where the op were shaming people for changing their age or changing the ages of people in their dr

those people definitely came from tiktok and I honestly hope this post reaches them as I didn’t want to directly interact with them

I think one of the posts was about how adults age ‘minors’ in their dr to date them is problematic, which made me laugh, because how is it problematic if they’re both the same age in their dr?

and the sad thing about that post is that the op said that they’re aware how shifting works and all that, but still finds it problematic and hopes people that do that never shift which is just… girly I hope YOU never shift because you don’t deserve it for shaming people trying to live their lives

I’m not going to go into details about the og posts, but they still have the outdated idea that if you shift for a character that is much younger than you here it’s ‘problematic’. once again: how is it problematic if you’re the same age in your dr?

and then they hit you with another outdated take ‘it’s problematic because you find them attractive here’ which is ridiculous because of so many reasons

1.many characters (especially anime characters) don’t act or look their age. if your perceived a character as an adult initially then found out they’re a minor, I simply don’t care. ages in fiction never matter, if your mind perceived x as a certain age then they’re that age idc; 99.99% people are attracted to a character for who they are, not their age

2.many people had crushes on characters when they were younger or the same age with that character and still like them. let’s boo them that their crush on the character didn’t die and their fav character didn’t age, acting like you’re not going to be in their place in a few years

‘not true I’ll stop liking my favorite character when I’m of age 😡’

okay sweetie keep telling yourself that, because I keep seeing people on tiktok that had this mentality: they liked an underage character when they were minors and wanted to shift for them, now they’re adults, haven’t shifted yet but STILL like that character and regret having said they’re gonna stop liking that character when they’re adults because it didn’t happen lol

3.people don’t always script that an underage person here will be their s/o, it just might happen. I’m actually going to use myself as an example for this: so here I’m an adult and I’m also aroace which I dislike because I always dreamed of a fantasy novel like romantic relationship, so I’m straight or bi in most of my drs so I can date. in my jujutsu kaisen dr, all the people in jujutsu tech are adults because I don’t like teens or kids and don’t wanna hangout with them. in my 30+ drs I only have 3 scripted s/os which are all adults here. I didn’t script an s/o for my jjk dr, because I want to focus more on friendships and training there (but secretly hoped choso would pick me, a girl can dream ok); a few weeks ago I channeled multiple people from my dr (yuuji, megumi, nobara, gojo, nanami and geto) and I received normal messages from all of them. I expected all of their answers, except yuuji’s answers which had romantic aspects to them. that made me realize that he might have a crush on me and maybe we’ll even date in my dr or something? who knows, I didn’t think too much about it so idk

so now if a character that’s underage here likes me in my dr, am I supposed to refuse them or shift out? lmao you’re delusional if you think I’m doing that

4.people that have never experienced adolescence love here. a lot of people dreamed of having that sweet experience of teenage romance that disney and an insane amount of shows and movies love to push, but instead their teen years were filled with abuse and hate. why shouldn’t they shift to experience what was taken from them here?

ALSO let’s switch this around: why is okay for minors to date adults in their dr, but not the other way around?

‘it’s not as bad 🤓☝🏻’

imma be the devil’s advocate and say it’s just as bad

do you genuinely think it’s okay to be a minor here and date an adult in your dr? like do you really think your s/o would feel comfortable being sexualized by a minor and dating a person that’s a minor in another reality? you lowkey forced your partner to become a pedo if you think about it 🙁 /jk

and also if you shift to a reality where you’re a minor and become of age there, you’re officially an adult and shouldn’t date minors anymore, even in your ‘original reality’ where you’re still a minor. please keep the same standards for yourself

[librababe99]

Vigilante's Lullaby |Part Four|

cw: MDNI, 18+ ONLY, Jason Todd, GN!Reader, Descriptions of violence, physical assault, blood and injury, hurt no comfort Summary: Jason's world is one of violence and darkness, but you’ve always been his light—until a brutal attack leaves you broken, targeted by his enemies. Now, Jason spirals into a storm of rage and guilt. Word count: 3.4K

A/N: Hi loves!! I’m so sorry for the long wait in regard to this series---trust me I was getting antsy about not posting LOL---Also, life's gotten a bit hectic with grad school and to top it off some health concerns arose. Please send positive vibes my way <3 And finally, there will be ONE more part to Vigilante's Lullaby...right now I'm hoping to have that up by this weekend! As always...comments, likes and reblogs are highly appreciated <3

| (Part one) | (Part Two) | (Part Three) | (Masterlist) | (Part Five)

The night had settled in thick, suffocating the underground clinic with its heavy silence. You had grown accustomed to this darkness, to the underbelly of Gotham, where your makeshift clinic had become a sanctuary for those the world forgot. The hum of fluorescent lights flickered above, casting uneven shadows on the walls as you worked. Your patient tonight was fidgety, eyes darting nervously toward the door every few minutes, as though he expected something terrible to happen.

You noticed the way his hands trembled slightly, how his breath came in quick, shallow bursts. "Hold still," you murmured, pressing a piece of gauze to the wound on his shoulder. He winced, though his gaze never left the door.

Something was wrong.

Your heart began to race, an instinctive warning creeping up your spine. You tried to push the fear down, to focus on your work. But the clinic felt too quiet, the air too thick. The patient glanced at you, guilt etched across his face, as though he knew something you didn’t. And then, before you could speak, the door to the clinic was kicked in with a deafening crash.

Your heart lurched in your chest, adrenaline spiking in an instant as the room filled with harsh voices, boots stomping across the floor like an army storming the gates. Men—big, armed, and menacing—flooded into the room, and at the front of them, a man you had seen only in Jason’s descriptions. One of his worst enemies. His rival.

Panic surged through you, your mind racing to Jason. They weren’t here for you. They were here for him. But Jason wasn’t there, and you were.

The leader of the group, a tall, scarred man with cruel eyes, glanced around the clinic with casual indifference, as though the place was beneath him. His gaze flicked over the supplies, the blood-stained bed where you worked, before finally settling on you. His smile was slow, predatory.

“Look at what we have here,” he drawled, his voice thick with malice. “Jason’s little pet.”

You stood frozen, your heart pounding in your ears. “You don’t have to do this,” you said, your voice betraying the tremor of fear.

He chuckled, a dark, humorless sound. “Oh, sweetheart. We’re just sending a message. You know how it is. Jason’s been a little... problematic lately. Time for him to learn there are consequences.”

The men closed in around you, their presence suffocating, their intent clear. There was no escape. You didn’t even have time to brace yourself before the first blow landed.

The attack was brutal.

Fists collided with your body, knocking the air from your lungs, the force sending you crashing to the ground. A boot followed, connecting with your ribs with a sickening crack. Pain radiated through you, blinding and intense, but they didn’t stop. They wanted to break you—break you so completely that the message would be clear when Jason found you.

You tried to fight back, tried to crawl away, but they were relentless. One of them grabbed you by the hair, yanking you to your feet only to throw you against the wall. Your head hit the surface with a nauseating thud, your vision swimming as the world tilted dangerously. Blood filled your mouth, the metallic taste flooding your senses as you gasped for breath.

The leader crouched down in front of you, his face a mask of sadistic satisfaction. “Tell him,” he said softly, his voice almost gentle in its cruelty. “Tell Jason that this is only the beginning.”

And then he was gone, leading his men out of the clinic as quickly as they had come. The door slammed behind them, the sound echoing in the now-empty room. You lay there, broken, blood pooling around you, your breaths shallow and labored. The pain was unbearable, your body a mass of throbbing agony. You knew you were fading, consciousness slipping from your grasp like water through your fingers.

But you held on.

You held on for Jason.

---------------------------------------------------------

Jason arrived hours later. He had been gone on a mission, something he hadn’t told you much about, but you knew it was dangerous. He had promised you he’d be back, had kissed you hard before disappearing into the night like he always did.

But as he stepped through the door of the clinic, his heart stopped. The familiar scent of antiseptic and blood hit him first, but there was something more—something wrong. He froze, his breath catching in his throat as his eyes swept the room. And then he saw you.

You were crumpled on the floor, barely recognizable beneath the blood and bruises. The sight of you like that—broken, lifeless—was more than his mind could process. His world tilted, his stomach dropping as a scream tore from his throat, raw and primal. He ran to you, dropping to his knees beside your limp body, his hands trembling as he reached out to touch you, afraid you might shatter beneath his fingers.

“No...” His voice cracked, the word barely audible over the sound of his own frantic breathing. “No, no, no—”

He pressed his hands to your face, his fingers slick with your blood. Your eyes fluttered open, weak and barely there, but it was enough. You were alive. Barely, but alive. Jason’s heart twisted in his chest, the sight of your bloodied, broken form like a knife to his soul.

He couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t think. All he could do was hold you, trying to stop the bleeding, trying to fix this, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t fix this.

“Stay with me,” he pleaded, his voice desperate and hoarse. “Please, just stay with me. I’m so sorry. I’m so fucking sorry—this is my fault. This is all my fault.”

Tears burned his eyes, but he refused to let them fall. He couldn’t break. Not now. He had to save you. He had to save you.

But you were slipping away. He could see it in your eyes, in the way your breaths grew more shallow, more ragged. And it was killing him.

Jason felt something inside him snap. The guilt, the fear, the rage—it all surged through him like a wildfire, consuming everything in its path. His vision blurred with red as he pressed your body closer to his chest, his teeth gritted in a mixture of pain and fury.

“They’ll pay for this,” he whispered, his voice cold and dark, like the promise of death. “I’ll kill them. I’ll kill every last one of them.”

But even as the words left his lips, he knew it wouldn’t be enough. Nothing would be enough to undo this, to take away the pain they had caused you. The weight of his failure crushed him, his heart breaking in ways he hadn’t thought possible.

You had warned him. You had told him this would happen. And now, because of him, because of his darkness, you were paying the price.

Jason rocked you gently in his arms, his grip tightening as if he could keep you with him through sheer force of will. “Please don’t leave me,” he whispered, his voice barely audible. “Please don’t leave. I can’t do this without you. I need you.”

But he knew, deep down, that this wasn’t something you could come back from. Even if you survived, even if you made it through the night, the damage was done. And it was all because of him.

Jason’s hands clenched into fists, his nails digging into his palms until they bled. The rage inside him burned hotter than ever before, threatening to consume him entirely. He had been so close to losing you, and now all he could think about was revenge. He would find them. He would make them suffer for what they had done to you.

But no matter how much blood he spilled, it wouldn’t change the fact that he had failed to protect you. That his love had been the very thing that had put you in harm’s way.

And as the night stretched on, as you lay in his arms, barely clinging to life, Jason felt himself slipping further into the abyss. The darkness had claimed him long ago, but now, it was pulling him down into something deeper, something darker.

And he didn’t know if he’d ever find his way out.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

The night had bled into early morning, but for Jason, time had lost its meaning. It was all a blur now—a feverish haze of blood and vengeance. After carrying your battered body to the safest place he knew, ensuring the bare minimum of medical care, he had slipped back into the shadows, leaving you with nothing but the echo of his promise.

And that promise had been simple: he would make them pay.

Now, as he moved through Gotham’s underworld with a grim purpose, the memory of your broken form seared into his mind, fueling his every step. The streets were colder, darker, and crueler than they had ever been before. The city itself felt like it had turned against him, as if it, too, wanted to remind him of his failure.

The faces of those men swam before his vision, their laughter still ringing in his ears, mocking him. He saw the scarred leader’s face in the dark recesses of his mind—the sneer, the satisfaction in his eyes when he’d threatened you. Jason’s rage was a living thing, gnawing at his insides, screaming for release.

They would suffer. They would all suffer.

His first target was easy to find. A low-level thug, one of the cowards who had thrown the first punch, was holed up in a seedy bar on the outskirts of the city. Jason stalked him like a predator in the night, his body moving on instinct, driven by a singular, relentless purpose. When he finally cornered the man in the alley, there were no warnings, no preambles.

Jason moved like a ghost, silent and deadly, his fists connecting with the thug's face before he even had time to register his presence. The crack of bone echoed through the narrow alleyway as Jason’s knuckles met the man's jaw, sending him sprawling into the trash-strewn ground.

“Red Hood—no, no, wait—!”

The man’s plea was cut off as Jason dragged him up by the collar of his jacket, slamming him against the brick wall with enough force to make his skull bounce off the surface. Blood splattered across Jason’s armor, staining the emblem on his chest.

“Where are they?” Jason’s voice was low, deadly calm, but his eyes—his eyes burned with unrestrained fury.

The thug whimpered, clutching at Jason’s wrist with shaking hands. “I don’t know, man, I don’t know anything!”

Jason’s grip tightened, the leather of his gloves creaking under the pressure. His other hand shot forward, slamming into the man’s abdomen, driving the breath from his lungs in a strangled gasp. “Wrong answer.”

He pulled the thug closer, his lips curling into a snarl. “You attacked her. You’re gonna tell me where the others are, or I’ll make sure you never breathe again.”

There was no hesitation in his threat. Jason’s eyes glinted with something cold, something feral. The man was terrified—Jason could see it, feel it in the way the man’s pulse quickened under his fingertips. But there was no mercy left in him. He didn’t care about their fear. All that mattered was making them suffer, making them pay for what they had done to you.

“Okay, okay!” the thug rasped, panic making his words stumble over each other. “I’ll talk, I’ll talk! They’re at the docks—the old warehouse by Pier 47. That’s where they’ve been hiding.”

Jason let him drop, watching with disgust as the man crumpled to the ground, coughing and clutching his ribs. For a brief moment, he considered finishing it—ending the thug’s miserable life right there. But no. The real target was the leader. The one who had smiled at your pain.

Without another word, Jason disappeared into the night, leaving the man gasping for air as his blood stained the alley.

The warehouse was exactly where the thug had said it would be—a decrepit old building at the edge of the docks, the faint sound of waves crashing against the pier, the only noise breaking the silence. Jason approached from the shadows, his every sense heightened, his heart pounding with the promise of vengeance.

Inside, he could hear the low murmur of voices. Laughter. It grated on his nerves, fueling the fire in his chest. His hand clenched around the grip of his gun, the metal cool against his skin. He hadn’t planned to kill all of them—but now that he was here, surrounded by the stench of betrayal, it seemed inevitable.

With a swift motion, he kicked in the door, his guns drawn before the men inside could react. Chaos erupted in an instant. The thugs scattered, reaching for their weapons, but Jason was faster, more precise. He fired off shot after shot, the sound deafening in the enclosed space. Each bullet found its mark, dropping the men one by one before they had a chance to fight back.

But Jason wasn’t there for them. He was there for him.

The leader was in the back, smirking as though he’d expected this. His eyes gleamed with that same cruel satisfaction, as if Jason’s fury was all part of the game. “You came for them huh?” he said, his voice dripping with arrogance. “Too bad. they weren't worth much after we were done."

Jason’s blood turned to ice.

Before the man could react, Jason was on him. He tackled him to the ground with the force of a hurricane, his fists slamming into the man’s face with brutal, unrelenting precision. Blood splattered across the floor, staining Jason’s gloves, but he didn’t stop. He couldn’t stop. The rage inside him was too much, too consuming. Each punch felt like a release—a release of the guilt, the helplessness, the anguish that had been eating him alive since he found you.

The man beneath him choked on his own blood, his hands scrambling to defend himself, but it was futile. Jason was a storm of violence, every hit fueled by the image of you lying broken in his arms.

“You think this is a game?” Jason snarled, his voice a low, vicious growl. “You think you can touch them and walk away?”

His fists kept coming, each one landing with sickening force. The man’s face was unrecognizable now, a broken, bleeding mess, but still Jason didn’t stop. Not until the man was nothing more than a pile of blood and shattered bone beneath him.

But even as he stood, panting, blood dripping from his hands, there was no satisfaction. No sense of victory. Only emptiness.

Jason stared down at the corpse, his chest heaving with the weight of his rage. He had killed them. All of them. But it wasn’t enough. It would never be enough.

You were still lying in that hospital bed, broken because of him.

As he walked away from the carnage, the darkness around him felt deeper, colder. There was no light left to chase. Not without you.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Jason stood at the edge of the docks, the wind whipping harshly against his bloodied face, cold and biting like the emptiness gnawing at his soul. The bodies of his enemies lay behind him, nothing more than a grim reminder of what he was capable of, of how deep his darkness ran. The waves crashed violently against the pier, matching the storm in his mind, but none of it mattered. Nothing mattered anymore.

He had avenged you. He had done what he set out to do, torn through Gotham’s underbelly like a hurricane, leaving nothing but blood and broken bones in his wake. But here he stood, staring out at the endless expanse of the night, and all he could feel was the weight of his own failure, his own curse.

This is who you are.

The thought slithered through his mind, dark and insidious, clinging to him like the stench of death that hung in the air. He was a weapon—a blade forged in violence, tempered by vengeance. He’d tried to be more, tried to find something good in this wretched existence. He’d tried to find you.

But Gotham wouldn’t let him have that. His life wouldn’t let him have that. No matter how many times you’d held him, how many times you’d tried to be his salvation, he had always known it would end like this. With blood, with pain, with you hurt because of him. It was inevitable.

He had warned you. He had tried to push you away. But you stayed. You had loved him, and that was your downfall. Now you were paying the price.

And for what? What had he gained? Revenge? Satisfaction? No. All that was left was the bitter taste of regret and the sickening realization that it didn’t change anything. It didn’t heal you. It didn’t fix what was broken inside him. Nothing could.

He stared down at his hands, still trembling with adrenaline, his knuckles raw and split from the beating he'd given that bastard. They were the same hands that had held you, that had clung to you like a lifeline in the darkness. Now they were stained with the blood of men who had hurt you—but it didn’t matter. Their deaths couldn’t undo the damage.

Jason’s breath hitched, his throat tight as the memories of you lying in his arms, barely breathing, surged forward. The way your blood had soaked into his clothes. The way your eyes, usually so full of warmth, flickered with pain and fear. All because of him.

He was cursed.

He could feel it in his bones, in the marrow of who he was. He wasn’t meant to have happiness. Not with you. Not with anyone. The darkness would always come for him, always tear apart anything good that came into his life. It had destroyed him once, and it would do so again—piece by piece.

And now… now he was standing on the precipice of his hardest decision yet.

Jason clenched his jaw, staring out at the water, his mind spinning with the weight of it. He could go back to you, watch over you as you recovered, try to piece together whatever shattered remnants of your life he hadn’t yet destroyed. Or he could let you go. He could walk away. He could vanish into the night, leave you to heal without the poison of his presence lingering in your life. Because this—what had happened to you—would only happen again. It would never stop.

His heart screamed at him to stay, to fight for the slim chance that you could somehow survive his curse. But deep down, he knew the truth. You would never be safe with him. And the worst part was, he didn’t know if he could live with the knowledge that he would destroy you again.

The decision loomed before him, dark and final, like the city itself—a grim reminder that no matter what choice he made, he had already lost.

Jason turned his back to the warehouse, to the blood-soaked night that had claimed his enemies. His eyes burned as he looked toward the horizon, but the emptiness inside him remained. He had never truly escaped the shadows. He never would.

And now, as the cold wind howled around him, he realized this was only the beginning of his end.

The city would continue to take from him. It always had. There was no peace for someone like him. No future where the people he cared for didn’t bleed in his name. No future where he wasn’t haunted by the bodies left in his wake.

But you—you still had a chance.

He would make his choice soon. The hardest one he’d ever made.

But in his gut, Jason knew. He knew that whatever he decided, happiness wasn’t meant for him. The darkness had already claimed his soul, and it wouldn’t rest until there was nothing left.

With one last look at the city, Jason disappeared into the night, his decision lingering on the horizon like a storm waiting to descend.

And when it did, the person Jason Todd used to be would be lost forever.

taglist: @arisa191 @leo-lvr @azrielwingspan

[diremoone]

all the good things | geto suguru.

someway, somehow, amidst all of the thoughts of chaos and spiraling ideals of a new “better” world, a light shines through to guide him to a path of true balance. that just so happens to be the second-year transfer from Kyoto, who’s more than happy to put him back on the right path..

warning(s): like 98% canon lmao, female reader, mentions of pregnant! reader towards the end, honestly just wrote and didn’t bother checking if this was coherent but here’s y’all a snack haha, also using new line dividers atm and they’re all all pretty, credits to the maker in the guidelines of my blog

note(s): as much as I wanted to wait I just can’t stand it so here’s this piece published earlier than I want lol. also I didn’t know who to tag for geto so I just went with these lovelies ☺️

You like the Tokyo school much better than the one in Kyoto.

By leaps and bounds actually, you muse.

Everything from the people down to the energy they give off was so much more different — more freeing.

Kyoto was just too much, too old school and too traditional, especially for you. The students there seemed to be more rigid, and the teachers seemed to sneer at you. More often than not for just being a female. That old way of thinking was most likely why they lost the Exchange Event almost every year.

Especially with sorcerers like Geto Suguru on their side.

You transferred to Tokyo during the last half of your first year, which wasn’t something commonplace. That time wasn’t exactly a pleasant time to transfer into. Geto and Gojo, your upperclassmen, had failed a mission protecting the Plasma Star Vessel, Riko Amanai. Yes, Gojo managed to take out the Sorcerer Killer, Fushiguro Toji (who was actually a Zen’in like Naoya) on the mission, but that was only after he had completed his mission — after they had failed to protect Riko.

Now you’re a second-year at Tokyo High, watching the third-year Geto Suguru fall into a spiral of chaos and warped ideals while his friends go their own personal paths and leave him to his own devices, completely unaware in their own worlds that they’ve left a storm brewing behind them, alone and lonely and more than ready to bring down its wrath upon anyone in its way.

You secretly wondered how much Gojo cared for the person who was supposed to be his best friend.

So why you decided to approach said storm to get a (very much well-needed) drink out at the machines while he was preoccupied with his own thoughts, you have no idea. Were you stupid? Yes. Did that matter right now? … Probably.

Your feet carried you to the vending machine, standing beside Geto. You weren’t bothering to look at him out of your peripheral vision, knowing that if you did, the universe would shit on you and he would look up and make eye contact.

Sounds like one of those romance animes or something, you think, nose crunching in distaste. Ew…

“It’s such a shame that you decided to withdraw from Kyoto, [Name]-chan.”

An even bigger problematic ‘ew’ came from behind you. You scowled and turned halfway on your heel, back facing your black-haired upperclassmen to stare at the smirking face of one of the two reasons you’d originally left Kyoto’s school.

You scoff, shaking your head to see Geto’s form standing tall, but still facing the vending machine to get something. That’s all right; you could handle your own battles anyway.

“You really have the audacity to come and talk to me like this? After what you put me through for the last two years? Ah, wait a second. It’s you. So I guess I shouldn’t be all that surprised.”

“I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about.” Naoya shrugged. “All I asked for was—”

“For you to leave her alone, Zen’in.”

Your eyes widen slightly at the sound of Geto’s voice cutting through the air, but it’s only Naoya that scowls and turns his head to face his Tokyo upperclassmen.

And to your absolute surprise, despite Naoya’s scowl deepening to a point where you thought he couldn’t get any uglier, the male pivoted on the ball of his foot and sauntered off.

“Are you alright?” came the instant inquiry.

Geto moving to get a closer look at you made you sweat even more. Just for a different reason.

“I’m fine, Senpai.”

The tall male looks between you and Naoya’s fading figure, eyes narrowing slightly in distaste up until he sees the Zen’in male finally disappear from sight. Even he knows that the Zen’in’s are trash; Naoya just really takes the cake.

“That’s good,” he says.

And when he looks at you with gentle eyes, you’re surprised (and desperately trying to hide it). How instantly his expression and mood changed from mere moments before Naoya showed up to at this moment caught you off guard.

“Did you need something from here? I can get it for you.”

His offer is so sincere, so polite. Such a stark contrast from earlier. Especially with the way the bright smile on his face that reaches his ears and makes the corners of his eyes begin to crinkle.

Instead of the same uncertainty from before your approach filling your stomach, this time feels different. This time, it’s an excited, happy feeling; as if butterflies are rapidly fluttering away in your belly in eager anticipation of something wonderful to come.

“Um, yes,” you squeak, looking to the machines, “I was going to get—”

>>>>

How long does it take for one to fall from grace?

From one who’s fingers touched the pure white clouds of heaven to becoming one who’s knees were stuck deep within the obsidian tar pits of hell, it seemed Geto Suguru was destined to struggle with himself — with his morals and ideals of the world of jujutsu sorcerers and the world of people that lived outside of it — for eternity.

Someone that was so bright, so revered, to fall into a pit of hopelessness?

It must be a lie, others would think.

Watching him sink into the pits of chaos and despair while his best friend rose to a place where he became untouchable to all sorcerers… made something terrible, something spiteful, stir within the depths of your stomach. How much did the white-haired teenager care about the one he called his equal?

But as Gojo became more and more powerful and left his friend behind, Geto too, grew in power in his own right.

And a lot of it was with you.

Weeks of meeting at the vending machines for snacks during training turned into months of sitting on benches and eating lunch together. Even that progressed farther, to him taking you to everything from restaurants to the book store (as much as he’d laugh at you buying manga, he was just as much of a hypocrite with Inuyasha under his arm) to even pretty lakes across Japan, soaring atop one of his flying curses.

Doing things that friends do. That people more than friends also do.

But at the same time, during those times after missions or simply while spending time together in either his or your room, you’d see that malicious darkness fester up. You’d see the way his brows would furrow when you mentioned saving someone or his lips pull down when there’d be a mention of the higher-ups about a mission you’d taken recently that went sour.

In times like these, you wondered if Gojo Satoru really did once know Geto Suguru the same way you knew him now.

“I can see the sweat on your forehead,” the black-haired male jokes. “You shouldn’t think so hard.”

Suguru doesn’t chuckle, but the joking smile of amusement is still there. It’s just a faint one. He’s become less and less of a jokester lately, swimming deeper into the darkness. But for you, you think he tries a little harder to keep the mood and air between you two as light and positive as possible.

(For you.)

“I’ll be sure to remember that,” you quip back, “for the next time I see sweat on your brow for thinking so much. Hypocrite.”

For the first time all day, he finally chuckles.

“Hypocrite?” He muses, placing his cheek on his fist. “Really?”

“Yes!” You toss your hands up in mock frustration. “You heard me, Mr. I-Wanna-Brood-At-Weird-Times-of-the-Day.”

“That’s an awfully long name.”

“It sure does fit though, yeah?”

“So you say.”

The air had been tense and thick since morning, but the two of you were striving to get past it. Well, you slightly more, but the more you tried, the more Geto — ah, Suguru. He already told you to call him that, didn’t he? — seemed to try and help you push for a happier tone.

But the mission Suguru was to be sent on soon had him shut down mentally, closed off from you for the last few days. And today was the day you’d tried to pick him back up out of his crappy mood.

“You sure you don’t want to talk about it?” you ask.

Suguru sighs, then nods his head. “It’s nothing. I’ll be back by the day after, if not sooner.”

You shrug, semi-happy with his response and accepting it. But the other half of you knows something — sees something — behind his pretty eyes that you wished you would have left alone.

But your heart loved to meddle when it wanted to meddle.

And in the future, you hoped Suguru would thank you for that meddling nature.

****

113 bodies were to be found five days after Geto arrived at the village he was assigned to.

But he hadn’t been alone the day he arrived.

Suguru just didn’t know that.

You’d stuck to him like glue. Well, as far back as glue could stretch in that regard. You’d silenced your cursed energy so much that you almost swore you didn’t even have any. And not once did the male turn around to bother to look around or check his surroundings, like he knew he was ever being followed.

Now, all you could do was watch as Suguru stepped into the house that the villagers brought him to. Supposedly, the house contained the reason why the villagers had been dying.

But that gnawing anxiousness in the pit of your stomach told you otherwise. It told you that something was about to go very, very wrong.

Very few people had been able to manage to near-fully suppress their cursed energy aura. It was a talent that could only be managed by a select few, one of which was probably Gojo Satoru himself. But when one successfully did it, all the stories told of how nauseous they felt; how overwhelming the sense of others cursed energy could be.

And it was all true.

Bile and your lunch nearly coated your shoes. Knees too had you let Suguru’s immense, Special Grade cursed energy make you sink to the ground.

It isn’t the same. It isn’t the same. It isn’t the same!

Eyes blown wide as saucers, you realized that something had indeed went very, very wrong inside that house. Because no longer was Suguru’s cursed energy driven by regular means like a regular jujutsu sorcerer.

No. All you could see from his cursed energy was pure malice and raw, unadulterated rage and anger.

Whatever these people said or have done to send him into such fury like this, you couldn’t move, only think. This is the day they die.

Out of the house comes two— No, three. Suguru being one of them. A man and a woman, both with ugly faces and ugly auras you didn’t like.

No wonder Suguru doesn’t like them.

A curse manifests from your friend’s fingertips, and you quickly realize what’s about to happen — the only thing that could happen.

But he can’t just kill them…

You step out of your hiding spot and shout his name. Shock enters Suguru’s eyes. Of course; he hadn’t expected you to be here. But then they glaze over with a mixture of emotions. Disappointment seems to be the most obvious.

Curse you, Yuki Tsukumo, for tipping him over the edge.

“Don’t even try it, Suguru.”

“You shouldn’t have come, [Name].” It sounded like a warning.

You scoff slightly. “And let you do something like this? I don’t think so.”

His eyes narrow. It’s an expression you don’t like.

“You need to leave.”

“So do you, apparently.”

“Don’t be like this, [Name]. Don’t make me hurt you.”

“You wouldn’t anyway. Why let one awful circumstance, one awful event, define the rest of your life?”

“Do you know what they’ve done?” he asks, and you clearly hear the intent of violence behind his tone. You see his jaw clench up and a dangerous fire ignite behind his eyes. “Do you know they have two girls locked up in there, ready to kill?”

“Of course not,” you say, “but you were about to do something that was going to impact your life… Forever.”

“I think I’m ready for that.”

“You’re ready to lose everything?”

“If I must.”

You almost bite your tongue. But you don’t, and speak anyway.

“Even me?”

The thick, black smokiness of one his curses dancing on his fingertips turns to wisps, almost vanishing. You see what the question does to him, so you press farther. Deeper into the unspoken part of you two’s relationship you’d both been afraid to touch on.

Then, he admits something, dipping first into waters that haven’t been treaded into.

“I’d like to think you’d come with me, be by my side.”

Your heart thumps faster. It’s a declaration of many things: loyalty, friendship, trust.

But all your ears hear is a declaration of love.

Because you don’t miss the way his eyes shine as he looks you up and down like you’re the sweetest thing he’s ever seen. Like he wants you to actually follow him like he expected, to come with him and step in place next to him like an equal.

If not more than just an equal.

“I can’t do that,” you reply. “You know I can’t, Suguru. And neither can you.”

It’s written all over his face that he doesn’t like your answer.

“And why can’t I?”

“Because you’re better than this.”

…

…

Was he? What did that mean anyway: being better? After Riko, after his “talk” with Yuki, everything just seemed to collapse around him; everything he knew ripping apart at the seams faster than he could repair them.

Why? Why was he supposed to be better? How could he be better? Did he deserve to even become better?

“Don’t take the easy way,” you tell him. “There’ll never be a right answer, not right now at least.”

“Killing all non-sorcerers seems like a pretty good start,” he replies darkly.

“And how would you even manage that?” you retort. “If that’s the only thing you can stand on, that’s shallow.”

“Then what is the answer, [Name]? Do tell me, please,” he urges sarcastically, rolling his dark eyes. “Is killing every non-sorcerer not worth us jujutsu sorcerers having a chance to live?”

You answer as earnestly as he expects, “I have no idea, but at the moment, it sounds pretty stupid.”

Unfortunately, it takes him much longer than you want for him to put the monster at his fingertips away, for his cursed energy to dip down and go back to the way it was before it spiked in a rage you’d never anticipated to see from him.

The village is scathed with fire and terror: burned buildings with its inhabitants shaken to the core over the consequences of their actions — and what would happen if they tried to put more children in the cage Suguru found them in. It’s not ethical, and surely you’d hear about it from the higher-ups in jujutsu society.

But for the girls wrapped up in yours and Suguru’s arms, you heart and soul knew it was worth it.

Megumi doesn’t get along with Nanako too well. But you’re sure you know why, with his red cheeks and all.

“You think he’ll ever say anything?” you ask your husband.

“Doubtful,” Suguru chuckles, “considering he was raised by Satoru.”

It’s been a rough ten years raising the twins. There’s been a long list of issues, struggles over the last several years that have really put your relationship with your now-husband to the test. From the elders to Suguru’s own conflicting ideals; from his own coping mechanisms to making sure you and his girls are well taken care of, and those are just a few to list. But fixing Satoru and Suguru’s friendship was by far the most difficult thing.

Riko’s death really did change them in the most awful ways.

“Satoru has only gotten crazier over the years,” you hum, agreeing. “I still can’t believe Satoru brought Sukuna’s vessel here.”

“I think you mean stupid, darling,” Suguru chuckles. “And did you know he gave Itadori a second finger?”

“Disgusting! All in true Satoru taste, too.”

“Hey! I can hear you two, you know!” the white-haired male complains.

“Good!” you shout back.

And cue Satoru’s crocodile tears. “Suguru really did marry a witch!”

You feel the veins in your head twitch with irritation. You’d always hated that damn nickname.

You moved to stand up to go and whack the shit out of the manchild, but your husband’s hand settled on your knee. You looked at him curiously, sitting back down.

“Sit,” he says. “Getting worked up like that isn’t good for you right now. Shoko said to keep it minimal for now, remember?”

You snort. “You’ve drilled it into me, Sugu.”

“Good. I’ll be back in a moment.”

His hand rests on your belly for moment, presses a sweet kiss to your forehead, and then stands up to go and beat the shit out of his best friend to defend his wife’s honor.

And maybe to have some fun, too.

taglist: @vagabond-umlaut • @itzmeme • @dellalyra • @torusmochi

[lains-reality]

hi!! i’m this anon, https://www.tumblr.com/lains-reality/723844364791676928/hi-i-hope-youre-having-a-wonderful-day-youre

about the difficult circumstances :)

i’ve followed your advice, and just rested. whenever i had moments/situations that brought up stress, i began to exercise this feeling of completion/bliss. ever since then, my health has been stabilizing. i took a break from tumblr/over-consuming, and just asked myself “what am i?” “who am i?”. i would let my thoughts go, attaching no meaning, nor identifying with them. i would observe them- in an almost manner of meditation. i started to feel lighter, as i no longer identified with the body. while doing such “exercises”, i found that i “tapped into the void” within minutes of doing so. it was so peaceful, and i had no urge to affirm- which even though my ego thinks my life is still far from perfect, i could care less.

i feel a sort of indifference to what used to seem problematic. i now understand, that there is no “convincing” myself of something, when i am already it. i’ve been “documenting” what works best for me- just because i might have brain damage lol, but what i’ve found is when i am in full acceptance of both the desirable and undesirable, it happens instantly- or within a day. just now, i noticed my collar bone feeling fleshy or the skin around it inflamed- which was one of the major symptoms i faced when i had cancer. my whole collar bone to face just puffed up like a pufferfish. in that moment, i knew who i TRULY was- I AM. God. i didn’t care if my collar bone wasn’t prominent or not- i just KNEW that it was normal, and prominent. literally not even a minute later, i touched my collar bone while scratching my neck- AND THE SWELLING WAS COMPLETELY GONE, IT WAS JUST BONE.

So, for me- what worked was knowing there was no conviction necessary, i am already everything, the good and the bad. thoughts and day dreams have no effect on me unless i identify with them- or personally give them power. no effort, and just complete ease and bliss. the past, and future do not exist- and only affect the present, when identified. indifference was the “biggest” aha moment for me.

I realized, each time I affirmed/thought of something- then let go, and gave it no more attention, it appeared (instantly). for problems, i just forgot of it. i disregarded it- and then bam. gone. since my last experience with the void, i knew since then that everything was perfect with my relationship regarding the void. i always wake up in it, everything perfect for me- i’m aware, blah blah blah. and that’s how it’s “manifested!”. i don’t even think of it any more. ever since that indifference feeling/knowing came- life has been soooo different.

during times of meditation, or of just observing my thoughts and letting them pass- is when i truly began to understand non-dualism. that’s when the knowing came for me. taking accountability and responsibility, and knowing everything is as temporary as night and day. i still have to “fix” my problems with school and university, but i know that is my ego talking. it is already done because i am it. i’m (my ego) is a bit worried if i will properly fix my problems, but after proving what lester, and all the info i’ve consumed (from blog to blog), i truly understand that there is no problem until i think i have a problem. my problems are as an easy fix as my situation with my collar bone.

i’ve also “fixed” my relationship with my mother, and grandparents. they now truly have realized the abuse that is in my household, and are 100% into supporting me, and protecting me. i was so surprised, because they would usually just ignore it and normalize it. especially my mother. all i’ve wanted was my mom- to actually be a mom. and now she is. even though there were moments where my ego wanted to cuss her out and identify as having a bad mother, i thought of it as nonsense, and now our entire dynamic has changed. i can’t really get into it without trauma dumping- but it’s been my wish since i was a child. she has truly changed and grown. even my therapist was shocked, and happy for me! i’ve been trying to “manifest” a change in her, for about 3 years- and after applying little to no effort, through what i’ve mentioned above- everything has changed.

(also “manifested” appearance changes, health to be completely perfect, my safety, perfect grades (literally all A+ or straight up 100%s loll, my pets health, and many other things. literally we all “manifest” our entire day just by identification)

i believe, or what has been true personally to me, about the reason behind the struggle of changing anything- even after seeing confirmation of one’s true power, is because it wasn’t a “big” enough accomplishment. they/me have put problems and “desires” on a pedestal- thinking it will be a varying degree to alter, than let’s say the weather. but it is all the same. everything holds the same balance. it is just the ego that convinces you that it does not. we literally shape our “today” and “tomorrow” from memory and identification. when i’ve thought/knew what my tomorrow would be- that is how it was.

i just wanted to say thank you to your kind response to my ask, last time. i know that it wasn’t easy- and i’m so sorry if i’ve caused anyone to feel any negative emotions. i also wanted to say thank you to your- and every other bloggers dedication to helping anons, and continuously posting the truth. you, and adasdisciple (idk how to do the @ thing, im so sorry!!!) as well as, 4dkelly something (i hope they may see this! i apologize for not remembering your user😭) have aided in ways not even professionals, or other bloggers have. my life has done a true 180- and i know it’s only going to get better from here on out. i appreciate everyone’s kindness to my first post, it truly warmed my heart to see so many people sympathizing with my ask. not many people have reacted with such genuine sweetness. thank you so much!! i’m fr feeling on top of the world 😋

wow! i'm so proud of you!!! speechless tbh!

i'll tag them here for you: @adadisciple, @4dkellysworld

[ryuichirou]

I apologize if it is too personal but how do you deal with "antishipper" and the way they make callout posts and harassment campaigns against you ? It’s legitimately so scary and it makes me hesitant of posting my own art

Anon! I am very sorry you are going through this horrible feeling of hesitation and anxiety; knowing that people get targeted like that could not only stop you from posting, but stop you from creating altogether, and this is the worst part about this whole thing.

It’s not too personal, and I don’t mind talking about it at all. I’ve talked about our position and our relationship with fandom policing a bunch of times already, so I’m sorry if I’m repeating myself.

I used to be worried about posting certain stuff too. Well, when I was a teen/in my early 20s I wasn’t worried about anything: we had so much juicy stuff posted here lol But then the nsfw ban happened, and the social climate of this app and internet in general started shifting, the first stories about people driven to end their lives because of the hate they received started to come out, and we stopped posting completely. It wasn’t a huge loss to us back then, and this situation wasn’t the only reason why we stopped, but still, it clearly became much more difficult to just appear out of nowhere, throw problematic stuff in your blog and run away again.

I vividly remember us wanting to post my Shingeki no Kyojin drawings and comics based on our AUs and stuff, but not knowing what to do with Ereri – there was no way for us to be “unproblematic” (which was never a concern to us, we just didn’t want to get tons of hate lol) and still post Eren with a man twice his age. So we started posting them without a tag, starting with a drawing that wasn’t too shippy, and then miraculously the world didn’t end. That made us bolder, and we started to post them openly, and posted them for almost two years pretty regularly, alongside some of our other problematic ships + problematic themes. Of course we did get hate, we got a lot of hate while we were posting SnK stuff from all kinds of people, but what we also got a lot of people who found our content refreshing and interesting, even if it was weird and uncomfortable at times.

We weren’t the only people who shipped Ereri (let’s ignore my petty thoughts about the difference between Ereri and Rivaere for now), and we weren’t the only people in Twst fandom who liked Shroudcest, which is another ship that we were super hesitant about posting or even mentioning at first. But with all the hate around I was so certain the world was going to end the moment we post them, and that didn’t happen. The end of the world never happens, but what does happen is that people either get introduced to a fun new dynamic and get invested, or get happy that someone finally posts for the ship they were too afraid to post for. Somehow, when you see some other person being ballsy, you don’t feel as scared anymore – it happened to us with other people’s posts too. Yes, I still say this even though it spawns a bunch of callout posts and harassment, as it did with us. Were we cancelled? Yeah, somewhat. There’s so much you can say about an acc that states “problematic stuff, 18+”, right? I was super relieved and happy, actually, that a lot of people left/blocked us just because they’re the people I’d never want to interact with my art.

I’ve been yapping for a long time already lol so I’ll give you some pieces of advice instead… These are things that legitimately help us.

Surround yourself with people who support you – if not you personally, then at least your ideas (i.e. other proshippers). Luckily, nowadays it’s easier to find them… But also, having a friend who you can vent about these things to helps a lot! It’s cheesy but it’s a fact: when you’re not alone, it’s not as scary.

Always ignore comments/asks from antis and block them on sight, block anonymous asks too. Even if you really want to sass them, it’s much more effective to ignore them: when you give them attention, it invites more engagement from them.

Block people you get bad vibes from. Block those who like or comment bad takes or support harassment of others, block all of their alt accounts. It’s tedious and takes time, but it really helps to keep you hidden from them, at least to some degree. I look up Shroudcest sometimes just to block new people. They try to make fun of me for that, but who cares if it works? You can’t block everyone, but these people usually flock together and it’s usually just a bunch of friends, so taking several posts on these topics from people from the fandom and blocking everyone involved will obliterate the majority of harassers.

In terms of your safety, having multiple accounts in case you main one gets mass-reported helps + I would advice to keep irl stuff away from your fandom stuff just in case.

This is going to sound stupid, but please keep in mind that this isn’t about you. These people are very miserable and not very smart. Even if they try to paint you like a bad person, they don’t know anything about you, so don’t let their judgment affect how you feel about yourself. This is exactly what they want – to have power over you.

Stay strong and take care of yourself, i.e. lock your acc and/or take a break if you feel overwhelmed. Don’t worry, it will pass: it’s very rare for these clowns to keep focus on one person for a long period of time; they have like 5 different dramas per day. There are some absolutely batshit crazy rapid assholes who won’t leave an artist alone for years, but those are super rare and special cases altogether, I don’t think you need to be worried about those.

Keep in mind which fandom you want to do this with, btw. It’s usually okay for the most part, but if the fandom is just a bunch of kids, it’s more likely not worth it or deserves an empty account, at least. Twst is surprisingly good despite anything it might look like! Thanks to Yana being a shotacon and a creator of Kuroshitsuji, I guess. There are many great and supportive people in the twst fandom, it’s been a pleasure to be here, even though, once again, it’s the first fandom where I got a bunch of callout posts and nasty stuff in my ask (SnK fandom usually harassed me for other things).

TL;DR: it is scary, and you could easily get callout posts about yourself, but guess what, you also get to be yourself. Because realistically, callout posts can’t stop you from creating art. They want you to believe that they have power over you, but this isn’t true. Your life online won’t end after some random callout post – mine didn’t. They also don’t understand that each consequent callout post affects the person being called out even less. We do have a minor panic attack for the first hour or so, and it does involve more extra blocking, but mostly it just sours our mood for the day and drops our morale. I still draw, though, out of spite a little lol Oh, and do try to report these types of posts if you get them, there’s nothing wrong with that.

People had been persecuted for their art and ideas for centuries, so what happens now is really nothing new. Without diving into specifics, there are way worse things they could do than writing callouts, but they aren’t super likely to do those. Luckily.

Take care of yourself, but also please don’t doubt yourself; when it comes to your art being way too fun for lovers of censorship to handle, you’re in a very good company. I’m referring to all the artist and writers of this world btw and not just me and Katsu lol but us as well!

[miss-tc-nova]

With Reckless Choices - Leona Kingscholar x Reader Pt 4

I like this chapter. It's cute imo. But it's kind of text heavy and I regret it, lol. Anyone with a screen reader let me know if it's problematic.

Premise: It's Leona's birthday

Words: 2,462

Music Inspiration: Misbehavin' - Pentatonix

~~~Maybe a Little~~~

               “Are you certain it’s sound to have such liberal amounts of eglantine around so many guests? Those from outside Briar Valley may not have the wherewithal to avoid being pricked.”

               Her Majesty simply stares, blinks, then returns her attention to the gardener. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised that my concerns go unheeded. Even the prince himself pays me no mind as if I hadn’t spoken at all. Defeated, my gaze averts. Quite frankly, my presence at this meeting is pointless. I’m not here for my input; I’m here for the presentation.

               “I leave this matter to you,” the queen says, to which the man bows and speaks his obedience. “Then this meeting is over.”

               He bows again, making a hasty retreat.

               Then Her Majesty addresses us. “You two are also dismissed.”

               With that, the future king stands. My head bows as he walks behind me before I rise myself. Watching his back retreat without so much as a glance towards me fosters seething disdain in my chest.

               Letting the hatred boil, I make my way out into the courtyard to share my secrets with only the roses and stars.

               Still somewhat inexperienced, fingers tap awkwardly at the screen.

               Dropping the device in my lap, a deep breath fills my lungs, letting loose the stress. An inhale of surprise comes back when the phone buzzes. I hadn’t expected a response so soon.

               There’s no denying the smile that pulls at my lips.

               That twists at my insides.

               What started in my stomach is creeping up into my ribcage.

               Those cold coils have begun to corner my heart.

               Being honest with myself, I am. Even so, I’m not so fond of his game.

               I can practically hear him laughing at me now, that baritone voice setting a fire under my skin.

               Irritation conflicts with my desire. He almost gets no response but even if I wanted to, he’s well out of my reach.

               I did receive a package just a few weeks ago, but received no explanation as to what the contents were for.

               I’m not going to be getting any more answers from the frustrating feline. Still, it would be a lie if I said I didn’t want to see him—especially on his birthday. Though I’ve no idea what this “theory” of his is.

               Whatever tasks I may have needed to attend are hastily finished or set aside for a less favorable time. The guards and attendants bid me goodnight as I “retire” early. In reality, to my own face I lie, telling myself that I’m not putting in the extra effort for any reason other than it’s Leona’s birthday. Yet the intrusive thoughts keep surfacing, imagining him mingling and laughing with someone else—eyeing them up. I reexamine my outfit choices.

               Sooner than later, however, the hour declared draws near. From the dresser I draw the crystal I now understand the use of though not the purpose. Nevertheless, I hold the artifact close, willing it to reveal the memory contained.

               Sunlight rains down on my skin, the sound of traffic filling my ears. Before me sits an ornate golden fountain, surrounded by animal sculptures honoring a young, future king. The greenery of the park is vibrant and not entirely ­something I would expect to find within city limits, but the Sunset Savana is famed for living alongside its wildlife.

               A tinge of disdain pricks at my boredom at hearing the voice of a child calling out to me. As he approaches, tugging on my arm, his mouth runs faster than any cheetah.

               Still, my gaze roams, looking to different areas of the park I’m dragged through, taking in as much as I can.

               Blinking away the magic, my mind returns to the present, back in my own room in Castle Blackscale. The immediate purpose of the memory doesn’t strike me and I wonder what Leona expects me to do with such a mundane thought. Despite his annoyance at his chatty nephew, he’d taken great care to take in the details of the park. I can still see it in my mind almost as if I were there.

               That clever kitty.

               Closing my eyes again, I hold fast to the borrowed remembrance. The peaceful, tranquil park backed by the bustling civilization sticks in my mind as I try to fully convince myself that I was there. Reaching out, my magic searches for the connection that will grant me passage to a place I’ve only been vicariously.

               To my greatest surprise, black sparks come to life at my fingertips. My jaw drops as I trace the door that opens wide to the park I’ve never visited before. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised that lion’s crazy theory worked.

               The only difference from my second-hand memory and the one I now stand in is the light. The sun has long since set, leaving the area blissfully deserted. Yet I take it all in, purely excited at the events that brought me here and the events to come.

               From my pocket the phone is drawn as I tap away at the screen.

               Alarms ring in my head.

               It takes me a moment to track down the entrance gate. I carefully secure the hat guarding my identity as I take a few timid steps beyond the iron fence. There aren’t too many cars around, however, there’s a peculiar, gleaming black car far more expensive than any other. Leaning against it is a young man I’ve only seen pictures of—he was one of Leona’s schoolmates.

               When he catches me staring, I press my glasses higher.

               “You here for Leona?”

               Nervous, I nod.

               “Cool.” The hyena opens the back door for me. “The drive to the palace won’t take too long, but make yourself comfortable. You got all the controls back here.”

               My head dips in appreciation as I slide into the back seat. He seems not at all disturbed at my lack of response, but Leona must’ve told him as much. Thankfully, I quickly discover the privacy screen and separate the front seats from the back before pulling out my phone again.

               Occasionally, the driver makes a remark, more to himself than me. It’s mostly about the traffic or the radio, I think just to fill the silence. Aside from that, it’s a fairly peaceful ride, watching the sleepy city drift beneath the glittering sky.

               As promised, the driver takes me to the palace. Booming music can be heard well before we breach the castle grounds. Leona wasn’t kidding when he said his family had gone all out, but I wasn’t expecting this. Lights make up for the lack of sun, the music shaking the car even as we pass. The yard is filled with people, both guest and performer alike and I find myself thankful for the tinted glass between us.

               Onto a ramp the driver pulls, taking us to an underground garage. Parked among several other expensive vehicles, the man slips from the driver’s seat and comes around to open my door. A hand waves towards the stairs.

               “I’ll take you up to Leona’s room where you can relax until he gets there.”

               Again, I nod in appreciation and follow. As we pass through the first floor, I can hear the celebration but we go without being spotted. Up on a higher floor, he wanders down a couple halls until he pauses in front of a door and opens it for me.

               “Here you go. He said make yourself at home. There’s a bathroom in the door on the left and I’ll go let him know you’re waiting.”

               Ambling inside, I awe at the room, jumping a bit when the door closes behind me.

               Leona’s room feels familiar despite having never been here; I could’ve immediately guessed who it belongs to. It’s relatively neat, though there are obvious signs of his laziness such as clothes on the floor, open drawers, and a bit of rubbish around the bin. To the right is an open wall leading out onto a balcony overlooking the city. It’s a beautiful sight.

               A seat on the bed holds me for maybe ten minutes before the doorknob turns. My head immediately drops, not entirely certain who’s going to walk through that door.

               “I knew you were jealous.”

               With heat winding along my spine, I drop the hat and glasses. “I told you, I’m not jealous.”

               The lock turns behind him.

               To my surprise, Leona is dressed for the occasion. He’s got a black button-up shirt with a long, sleeveless overcoat in a royal shade of violet embroidered with gold. Black slacks end at his neatly polished purple shoes while his golden necklace adorns his neck. He looks quite dashing, the only hint of his inebriation being the crooked paper crown upon his head.

               Mischief lies behind that smile. “Still lyin’ to yourself, I see.”

               “You asked me to come,” I retort, strolling closer. “It would be rude to refuse you on your birthday.”

               “Sure sure.” Leona steps around me, circling like the big cat he is. “You tellin’ me you didn’t wanna come over, get me away from Sanaa and Zawadi, and have me all to yourself?” He pauses in front of me, standing so close I can smell the alcohol on his breath. “‘Cause I can always go back downstairs and enjoy the party. I’m sure Zawadi’s lookin’ for me with another drink. No doubt with another hint about coming upstairs.”

  ��            How this man knows exactly what to say to get under my skin is beyond me.

               With a final ‘hmph’ of triumph, the lion turns back towards the door. I’ll be giving him the checkmate, but my heart gives me no choice as I snag his sleeve. Defeat meets that all-knowing smirk.

               “That’s what I thought.”

               Leona steps into me, hands at my hips and lips honing in on my neck. Instantly, I melt into him, plunging in over my head into my own desire. Warm hands roam, a thrilling tingle left in their wake with each move. Yet in all this adoration, I can only cling to his coat and bask in the euphoria of his lust.

               Until that twinge of guilt pulls taut in my heart. A gentle nuzzle gets the birthday boy to retreat only long enough for him to switch sides.

               “Wha’s wrong?”

               “Are you sure you wouldn’t prefer to enjoy the party?”

               He leans back. Smoldering eyes leer at me—only me. “Why would I wanna endure those loudmouths that talk behind my back when I have you right here?” Our foreheads meet as his voice lowers. “My helpless…hopeless…jealous prey. Honestly, I don’t know what you were worried about.”

               In my pouting, I look away. That’s when Leona begins his nuzzling.

               “A’int no one out there as gorgeous as you. You think I could even consider anyone else after tasting you?”

               Embarrassment surges into my ears. Surely that’s not something he’d say with a clear head.

               “This is the only thing I’ve wanted all day.” His head bumps against mine. “So make it worth my while, yeah?”

               Thankful he’s too preoccupied with my skin to see my self-consciousness, so I put on my best act.

               “Oh? And how do you propose I do that?”

               He’d be purring if he could. “You can start by letting me have another taste.”

               If I know Leona, that make out is going to quickly devolve to clingy cuddles and sleep shortly after. He never had any intention of attending his own party. I sigh; I really was worried over nothing.

               Poking at his paper crown, I tease, “As you wish, my king.”

               That’s when I see the purest, happiest smile I think anyone has ever given me. And in this moment, I would do anything for him.

               “Damn right.”

               My eyes roll, but there’s no denying the smile infecting my lips.

               “Happy birthday, Leo.”

~~~~~

Part 5

Nova’s Twisted Wonderland Masterlist

[accio-victuuri]

Bojunyixiao’s Weibo night 2023/2024 🎉🎉

can you believe we’re here again. no matter how problematic sina weibo is as a platform, their awards night is a day cpfs look forward to because our boys will be attending. even if we know they won’t interact or anything, the fact that they get to attend the same event is enough for us.

i will just include the recap for the past years on here, the 2019/2020 being very short cause i feel like that has been widely speculated and talked about already. then 2021 and 2022. this post will discuss the event and stuff that happened + some commentary + cpn clownery. enjoy!!!!!

I. CPFs team building and showing strength

It would not be fair to exclude this feat that cpfs achieved with the free tickets for Weibo night. Even if we had no idea if both of them will attend, cpfs tried to grab tickets just in case it happens so we will be prepared. In the first round, we surprised all other fan groups with how we dominated and it set the rhythm for the next rounds. Trust cpfs to set the trend and make other fandoms “wake up”. lol. They can say what they want about cpfs but we all know that part of the hate is because they do not understand why we’re still here. They don’t get why we are this strong and a happy group.

My favorite thing that happened was when the top profile photos spelled out BJYXSZD + heart with a mole. It doesn’t stop there tho, the next week/round, we still dominated so Sina Weibo tried to save face by doing some tactics to suppress us. Nevertheless, every week, more of us got tickets because of the help of our little turtle fandom.

There were also efforts to get top comments on Weibo Night posts but I won’t get into that anymore cause we usually do that. But the thought of showing strength “online” as what the boys advertised is sweet.

Years later, we are still as strong as ever and shall remain that way. and that’s all thanks to each and every turtle out there who chooses positivity & makes sure our community remains a safe space.

II. The anticipation and announcements

It’s safe to say that this year, XZ is a sure attendee cause he always tops the voting at this event. However, some were still not sure cause he did not attend other public events last year like 10c starlight or NYE events cause he is busy with filming his projects. On 1/10 evening tho, a rather unsavory rumor made it on HS which was a signal that weibo night was getting desperate and wanted some noise for their event. lol. maybe there are other parties involved, but the intent is the same. I will also just mention the issue that happened on 1/9 with Chunzhen and them withdrawing lottery tickets supposedly won by certain fans. But the next day, Weibo lottery decided to honor the win and gave the tickets. I have no reaction to this tbh, and that’s why i didn’t talk about this separately and at length on my blog. It’s the brand / fandom that i have nothing to do with’s issue. As a turtle, we all know how CZ is with certain things so i’m not surprised that this happened. LOL.

I honestly feel for XZ, he is out there working hard and minding his own business but people and circumstances keep dragging him into irrelevant incidents.

As for WYB, everyone thought he wasn’t gonna attend. This is the same energy as last year. People are busier with grabbing tickets for his SDC6 finals and completely ignored weibo night ( as they should ). There was still some hope tho, cause if you think about it, he attended a lot of platform events. Tencent, IQIYI, GQ MOTY and 2 NYE shows. So why not Weibo Night? I have said it before, but one thing that I loved about WYB attending multiple events by the end of last year was it’s a show of his position and professionalism in the industry. He can go anywhere and be welcomed — he has good relations with almost everyone and that is important in their industry.

I know he is not fond of public events, but i’d like to think he says yes because of his professional relationship with these platforms/companies. I was never a fan of when people flex that their fave “will not go to xx because they did something to him etc.” LOL. That’s not how any industry works. You can’t burn bridges and I’m happy that WYB doesn’t do that. It’s also a testament of how much of a good boy he is 🤍

Anyway, back to the timeline. On 1/10, Weibo announced some winners and the boys are on there. I guess One & Only winning was a clue that WYB will go. Then a so/o account gave a tip that WYB will announce his attendance to an event on 1/11 @ 13:00. So by the evening of 1/10, it was mostly confirmed that WYB will be going.

The next day, 1/11, Weibo Night account started posting emoji clues for the remaining celebrities to be added in their guest lineup. A few hours later, both the boys announced their attendance. What’s different this time tho is aside from the usual copy-paste caption, there is a reminder for everyone to not do any fan activities at the venue. more details was also added in the comment. I guess they don’t want a repeat of what happened last year with the crowds. It caused a delay & cancellation of the red carpet. Both XZS and YBO reposted with more guidelines to follow like no gatherings and light signs etc.

i know weibo dictated the posting time but the 13 kadian is sending me! yizhan! 🫶🏼

The BJYX ST mods also sent out a message to not do any offline support.

There are more fandom drama after the announcement with other groups but i won’t add that here anymore cause it will only rot our brain. && it’s so much better to focus on the boys!

III. Pre show discussion

On the eve of Weibo Night, GG attended an awards show and it gave us some sweet candy. The most interesting to me is the choice of Alexander McQueen and the first two celebrities tagged by the brand on their weibo in 2024. This is giving me Dsquared vibes. Also how it almost mirrors the wedding-ish vibes they had last Weibo night. I know we as cpfs are somehow programmed to seeing connections but honestly, they don’t make it hard.

Late at night too, Weibo started showing opening screens of attendees and of course they didn’t put them in the same group/frame. This is understandable cause they wouldn’t put the top male celebrities together and knowing how both their fandoms hate each other. Also, how the grouping went, WYB’s was more of the “movie group”. That won’t stop me from being a bit better tho. lol. Cause if they can’t put them in the same frame like that, there is just no way they will be on the same stage or even sat remotely close to each other.

A photo from inside the venue also showed the projected commercial on stage is WYB & Chunzhen 😂😂😂😂😂

I can just imagine XZ smiling when he sees.

There were also talks of the both of them being on the second row. XZ was already seated way before the ceremony started, and their names are so close but cpfs were anticipating since WYB was not inside yet. We were all waiting to see if it will happen. WYB is supposedly next to YZ but then we see that Jackson sat there. We joked that he should stay there so WYB’s place will be taken and he will have no choice but to sit next to XZ 😂😂😂

IV. Red Carpet shenanigans

🟢 WYB’s red carpet walk

I honestly didn’t get the whole look tho when some people pointed out that it’s the glam version of what he wears when he plays golf — i kinda got it. For his past platform events like GQ, IQIYI & 10C, his red carpet were really casual. I guess that’s what he wants — to be comfortable walking the carpet. There were also some praising him for going against the norm. Well, I have to say tho that his face really stood out. Minimal to no make up look. He was so handsome! 🫶🏼

🔴 XZ’s red carpet walk

I love his outfit! It’s black but still got that something special to make him stand out. &&& I honestly love the hair! I thought I would cry because of how short it is now but it suits him. I mean, he looks gorgeous in anything but you know what I mean ☺️

CPN: XZ signed his name beside/very close to WYB. granted, there are so many signatures there but i’m wondering if he recognized his husband’s signature. lol. In this simple way, they can be next to each other!

V. Weibo night links

XIAO ZHAN

Photoshoot for red carpet look

Photoshoot for second outfit

Xiao Zhan winning Outstanding Actor of the Year

WANG YIBO

Photoshoot for red carpet look // Photoshoot BTS video

Yibo winning popular filmmaker of the year

Yibo-Official post for Weibo Night

* This is incomplete cause we still don’t have ( at the moment of posting ), the BTS for XZS photoshoot + their photos while receiving the awards.

VI. THE SUGAR RUSH 🍭🍬

• WYB’s personal post of him and the caption. The freakin caption. Look, i know that WYB’s brand is all about being the “cool guy” so maybe that’s why he said in the caption that he likes the HS about him. But the thing is, it’s totally out of character. How many events did he attend with him going so high up the HS with much more interesting tags but he chose this? Also, he really needed to do so that he used his own account??? For a couple of years now, yibo-official is the one that posts for him when he is at an event. So the speculation is this one is personal and amused him so much, seeing that their HS for the same event they are both at matched! Also, when WYB posted that, CPFs flooded the top comments! Understandably so. 💛

• The signed photos which i’m not sure about. I actually saw someone post that earlier and people were clowning about how it can’t be real.

But then, an account posted a giveaway with all the other attendees and it included the couple photo. I’m putting this down as clownery, cause on their end there will always be deniability. The autographed photo was also deleted by the account a bit later, which is actually expected cause it will bring trouble. lol.

• XZS and YBO matching again! Look at how they arranged the photos. How a few of the snaps are not in theme with the rest. Nothing new here!

• The same song and dance of them missing to see each other. As soon as XZ was gone, WYB came in to sit down. Good thing he had Jackson to talk too a bit and he was gone again after 10 mins! Hopefully they could spend time together backstage away from the cameras. 📷

People are pointing out that XZ was checking his phone lol. probably checking if WYB is giving him a signal to leave so they can do their usual operation. These two! Honestly!

• Not really CPN, but a similarity. In the red carpet, both of them didn’t do the “activities” that others were supposed to. If you watched the red carpet, there is a point where they have to choose something from a wall with numbers. there is also a choice to take a photo from one of the “themes” by they both bypassed it. I was rolling my eyes cause a WYB anti was trying to make a big deal out of it, but then XZ did the exact same thing. Some people just don’t understand how celebrities like them operate. Not to say that they are above everyone else, it’s just that they do things differently.

• ZSWW fake rumor account posted at 19:21. At this time the red carpet was already finished. It doesn’t say who is saying which line. I’m interpreting this incident to be something that happened today backstage 🤡🤡🤡

"A kiss, a kiss...

"Oh, okay, let's talk about it later when we get back.”

"There will be a surprise when I go back 😏”

"What?"

“You'll know when you go back”

Then they posted again, at 21:05 with a much longer one but it doesn’t seem be pertaining to today’s events.

• There is a photo/video of XZ talking to Huang Bo! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! and now we’re thinking about how they haven’t cooperated with each other but seem familiar. Yes, we don’t know all their relationship and friends off camera but my mind immediately went to the SDC 3 clowning. That’s most likely when they became close. lol.

• Heaven’s choice cause WYB was sat at #23 ( Love Zhan )

• This time, both of them left the venue after they received their awards. XZ didn’t stay like he did the previous years. Good for them! It’s better to spend time together 🤍 I know that most of us expected what happened today, them not being in the same place at the same time. Tho some may see that in a negative way, I actually see this as an example of trying to keep their private life separate from the public. Tho a big part of their lives are on camera and that’s how they met. I think what they are doing is really to reserve the time they have & are seen together in private. Maybe some can’t see it that way and will be frustrated but at the end of the day, we have to respect their choice.

• XZ’s 2nd outfit is by Balmain! He tends to wear this at events that they both attend 🥹🥹🥹

• It’s now XZ’s turn to see the cpf headband light signs! Lol. I hope he saw it. We all know that he is near sighted sooooo….

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If there are post event CPNs, i will do a separate discussion. See you in the next Weibo Night! ✌🏼

[catboymoments]

I feel like you’ve kinda changed a lot recently tbh.

Like I don’t mean any harm. I just mean you went from not being okay with things like Bakudeku, selfcest and other extreme kinks, etc, but now you’re all like, yeah that’s all fine.

Like, what changed your mind on all that? (Genuinely asking)

Also, follow up, what things in fiction do make you feel uneasy?

((Cause I recall you mentioning things like enjoying drawing gore or listening to songs about cannibalism))

This is a bit of a weird ask but since you’re asking genuinely and nicely I’ll expound

Short answer: I got older

Long answer: I grew up, I met a lot of people and realized that there’s a lot of things irl that don’t really… matter that much in fiction? Or matter less? Or they’re really not as bad or world ending as I once thought they were when I was a teenager. When your world gets bigger than the walls of your high school, the things you worried about in fictional worlds become less significant.

for starters let me say that I was never not okay with selfcest I just didn’t really say anything about it until it was brought up, like I really don’t see how it’s a problem. It’s just the age old question of “would you fuck your clone.” and I was a bit of a late bloomer sexuality wise but I’ve always been a bit less vanilla when it comes to kinks- I just keep most if not all of my discussions and art of it in private conversations or under lock and key on priv. I value my privacy and I only want adults to see it.

What changed my view on doing different stuff in fiction was the revelation that I can explore darker topics and complex relationships without it being a moral failing or me endorsing or condoning it and I don’t have to just stick to making fluff. I don’t have to keep my content “”unproblematic”” because it’ll make me problematic somehow, that’s just not how it works. Like I can write about bad stuff in fiction and write stuff as horror and abuse or just explore relationships and how they’d be good or bad and examine tragedy from a well rounded lens. It was like Rock Lee taking off his leg weights for me. I can draw anything .

What makes me uneasy in fiction is when dark topics are romanticized or sexualized. when they’re presented as something “hot” or desirable, or it’s made not with the intention of telling a story or being significant- like for example there’s a difference between someone writing a fic about Hunter being a victim of csa and the horror of that vs someone writing a smutty fic of Hunter x Belos for the purpose of whacking off. There’s a difference between gore and violence on a character for the sake of torture and pain vs angst for a reason. Angst that makes sense. Bad things happen in real life and are okay to be portrayed in fiction, but sometimes I can tell when something is meant to be masturbatory. That’s what makes me uncomfortable!

Also I had a fascination with gore ever since I was a little kid and found warrior cats amvs and I drew a lot of battle scenes with red pen but I think I got all of that out of my system in childhood, I don’t draw gore anymore for the sake of gore LOL like I can’t even play mouthwashing bc I know it’ll make me nauseous

I hope this helps ??

[isaisavel]

Hi! Want to drop here some thoughts and headcanons about Hazard and Phreaks, bc I’m in love with new Overwatch’s anarchist fraction and their members ❤️ Some of hc based on info from interview with the story's screenwriter, and comic. And well it’s angsty a little and kinda +18 maybe? Idk

And yeah my english is bad. Sorry, I know that, but thanks for opportunity to practice it anyway lol

Hazard doesn’t like alcohol, His father was alcoholic, and when he and his father were left alone, Haz tried to somehow protest against his father’s addiction, but alcohol always won. So yeah, he hate it.

The relationship with father was one big curse for him. It's easier to say when they agreed with each other. Hazard’s father was alcoholic and workaholic at the same time, mb he tried his best as a parent, but most time Fin was forced to solve his childhood and teenage problems on his own.

Actually Hazard was never too problematic teenager. He was pretty good in technical subjects, math and physics. In my hc he wanted to be a technician or an analyst.

Music was one of the few things that lifted Hazard's spirit. He has a great ear for music and as a teenager he was a member of a band.

Well, this is my favorite: Haz calms down when he cleans up and do chores. He likes the feeling of cleanliness and gets mad when everything around him is dirty and not cleaned up. He always washes his dishes and throws away pizza or Thai food boxes. The rest of the Phreaks do it without enthusiasm.

I think that when Haz lived with his father, the latter did not care about cleaning, and Haz was embarrassed to invite someone, which made it difficult to establish relationships with people he liked. He did it on his own, and now Phreaks has their personal cleaner lol

About Haz body

Haz is touch starved, try to change my mind. His mother passed away too early and he didn’t receive enough love and attention, hugs and touches. It’s kinda torture for someone whose love language is touch. Add to this all his injuries and wounds. The system literally fucked him and expressed all its hatred towards Haz and his body.

Everyone was rather indifferent to his bodily suffering and pain. The doctors and nurses could only gloomily examine his injuries, without comments or expression of sympathy. Touch-Up was the first who treated Haz's body with attention.

During the first inspection in Touch-Up's medical cabinet, he had a pain attack. Touch-Up gave him some painkillers and stroked his cheek to wipe away his tears. This was the first show of genuine concern in a very long time. And it literally broke Haz in the best way. This was the first time he cried, not from pain only, but from the feeling that someone cared.

Hazard senses something parental about Touch-Up. He listens to her advice and carefully remembers what she says. And when he stated that he wanted to take revenge on the system and break it, Touch-Up explained to him in detail what she could offer him. This help was enough and even more.

The good news for him: all Phreaks are tactile but in their own way. Touch-Up is a medic cyberneticist, so she regularly examined his body - for her Haz is work material (not in a bad way ofc). But of course Touch-Up is tactile: she slaps Haz’s shoulder or chest, hugs his real arm or pat his cheek.

I think Jackdaw is the top hair expert among them. Jack cuts, styles and colors hair well. Previously, he only bleached his and Touch-Up's hair, but now he also bleached Haz's. And, of course, Haz loves it when Jack touches his hair, cuts it or dyes it (touch starved remember?).

Boomslang expresses tactility in her own friendly-rude way, like gives light slaps to the back of the head or flicks the nose, pulls on the shoulders (at least she did this when Hazard was without all his advanced implants and prostheses, now she can’t move Haz from his place lol).

Hazard actually has zero resistance for tickles and Boomslang likes to tease and make him embarrassed to death. When Touch-Up first started working with Haz's body, Boomslang constantly tried to make him laugh in every possible way. Boomslang said she is annoyed by his «depressive mug», but she only was very sympathetic to his hard experience.

Their relationship is reminiscent of that between an older brother and a younger sister.

You say omnics are not very tactile, BUT. Revel always protects Hazard in every fight. He never fully relies on Hazard's prosthetics, preferring to back him up and protect him in difficult situations. Revel calls this «foresight and rigor of calculation». For Revel, Hazard is not just a flesh, as for many omnics of a similar model.

And my cutie Susannah~ Whell she is great tattoo artist, we know that. So the way of expressing her love to Haz is engraving beautiful designs on his new cybernetic prosthetics. They both have a lot of peaceful hours when Susannah works and talks with Hazard about music, cybernetic innovations and some news. He has great memories about their get-togethers and Hazard's new steel part has been touched hehe.

I think it’s the first part of headcanons. Maybe will write more, but now I wanna sleep.