#but FUCK even digital dnd i just want to play games

[cinastre]

man i want to play dnd so badly.....

[dreadfutures]

I hold in two hands:

everything is going pretty well. I am slowly making friends and deepening friendships IRL in my dream town. relationship w my family is the best it may have ever been in my life. my job is easy and satisfying and eases my conscience and I enjoy it. i am getting back into physical art. I call my best friend from grad school every week. I play DND with my best friends from college every week. I play Pathfinder with a group I've been with for six years every week. I have every cuisine imaginable available to me, there is every kind of hang out spot nearby, transit is cheap, and I'm under very little pressure in life. I have improved my digital art over the years and have the honor of being commissioned to draw people's OCs! I have a story I've been writing for four years that I am still passionate about and invested in with a dedicated readership of 100 or so people every update. I get to participate in exchanges of art and writing about fandoms I love, with people who love them. I have been able to introduce good people looking for communities to good communities full of good people. I have been able to run a (so far!) successful large fan event to celebrate all of that. I have so much I'm looking forward to, games and music and movies and books, travel, visits, museums...

and

I am tired. Depression is coming back for me like the tide and with it comes this irrational unsteadiness. Where things have been certain, solid, steady, and where I've been unconcerned and happy, I'm finding myself insecure, jealous, shy, uncertain, self deprecating, self conscious, unconfident, unhappy. everything I make I question. I can't help but feel the weight of all the things I usually brush off as meaningless. There's no amount of rationalization, reassurance, or interactions that can turn that around.

It just is. Both. All at once. For now.

I am very grateful for what I have. I really am. but I will never not be depressed, you know? Like, if I'm being pulled under by a rip current every few months, at least the water is warm now. And it'll let me out eventually I guess, as it always does, and I'll find my footing again. It's easier to find footing again and not drown than it was 5, 7, 10 years and many prescriptions ago. but right now I just wish I could find a therapist to have an outlet to express, process, experience those feelings safely with another human being who won't be affected by it all. It has been a long time since I've been the kind of childish person who goes crying and wailing about my insecurities to people in search of validation and praise that I would then reject. But watching other people do it makes me wish I wasn't so far along on the self awareness journey and could be so freely pathetic again. Because that behavior does receive so much validation, pretty intensely, lots of preening comments that feel morbidly good and bad simultaneously, you know? But it feels better than silence, even if it comes with the shame of publicly begging for attention and validation lmao. But better than silence is also just having a place to express stupid feelings and cry a river about petty things and then be able to sigh or laugh it off and put those feelings in broader contexts and move on without ruining my life and relationships.

I just fucking wish they didn't all set their appointments by telehealth only, and in the middle of my goddamn work day.

I don't want a room mate again but I wish I didn't live alone. I wish I just had someone who got me, who sees me and loved me, in the same room, day and night. I miss the person who inspired DPDF a lot these days. they weren't the first person I had that connection with and they don't have to be the last. and our connection isn't the same anymore but it's still precious and it's hard being apart but that's how it has to be. There will be others. it'll be fine. someday maybe. in the meantime it's cooling down from this heat wave and there are lunches to attend and weird driveway artisan shows to sniff out and cafes to write in and cute outfits to wear and things to learn and I'll play more good games and I'll get my hair done special and at some point the positive feelings will catch up again and maybe I'll be able to enjoy them fully like a normal human being. at some point I'll blink awake in the middle of a conversation and realize I'm feeling happy and clear again. that's how it always happens and in the meantime I hold both of these feelings in separate hands at once. Tangible. If I say out loud that they're both real then they both can be, again.

[alpaca-clouds]

How to get DnD to make money

As you might have noticed through the ramblings on how Hasbro is not really making money from DnD, how the DnD Lore is not accessible, and also lacks modern stories, I am thinking a lot on how Hasbro is mismanaging the franchise. And make no mistake: No, DnD is right now not really making money. In the earning reports for Hasbro DnD is listed under "other franchises", because it makes so little money, that it does not even earn its own little listing with a detailed breakdown. In fact, I would not be surprised if in 2023 Hasbro made more DnD-related money through the bit they got from the license on BG3, than they got from everything else.

So, yeah. No. DnD isn't really making money. Which is ironic. Because it is by far the most recognisable TTRPG franchise, the TTRPG with the most players, and close to something like mainstream in recent years. At least among younger folks: When I ask them on the street, a lot of them will at least be able to name me some playable races and classes. Even if they never have played before. Just because it is just everywhere in pop culture.

And the thing is: I have a master's degree in economics. I do know a bit about economics and about marketing and to be honest... I have no fucking clue what Hasbro and WotC are doing there.

I get, that they are planning on getting most money through DnD Beyond, which I do not think is that bad of an idea, given that yes, digital media usually makes more money than physical media. (Due to you not having to pay for printing and what not.) But DnD has one giant problem: It is a great platform. I love the character creation thing in there. But... also for everything else Roll20 is better. Because everything that DnD Beyond offers for money, Roll20 offers for free.

So, let me get out my economics hat and go a bit about what WotC could do to make DnD Beyond more viable - and to just make a bit more money with the franchise.

Please keep in mind: I am doing this from my economics point of view. There are going to be some things in there, that I would personally hate (like Rainbow Capitalism). But economically speaking... I think that they could make more money for WotC. And that without the kind of totally shady business practices they are using right now.

Why am I writing this on tumblr? Well, because I do not know where else to share those thougths.

The Issues with DnD Beyond

Alright. I think there are three major problems with DnD Beyond right now:

It puts certain things behind paywalls that Roll20 offers me for free.

It has no fucking information on the world and reasons to engage with it.

All things considered, the amount of stuff you can actually buy is very little - and most of it is fairly expensive.

First things first: I actually think that the subscripe prices are absolutely fair. It is not really that expensive and having played in campaigns with a DM who had the subscription, I would absolutely say: Those $3-6 are kinda fair, because what there is, is actually nice and nice looking.

However... Roll 20 offers most of the same functions (like the ability to use maps and stuff) for free. And there is just nothing WotC can do about this. Hence... They kinda need to up their game. Yeah, sure, their platform looks and plays better, but... a lot of people won't care.

Bonus is that all this information on items, monsters and what not that Roll 20 has for free, DnD Beyond wants your money for. And that is just... Look, I don't get why. That information is just out there. I am not going to pay for it.

On the lack of lore I already wrote a whole own essay, so I will spare you here.

And then there is the fact that... Actually even for the content you can pay for, there is a suprisingly small amount of stuff with little variety. Which is not good if you want to get it to make money.

So, let me go over DnD Beyond - and how you can make money with it.

DnD Beyond - The Content that should be Free

Let me start with the stuff that whoever makes the decisions at WotC/Hasbro will not like to hear: The stuff that should mostly be free.

Here I will say it once again: DnD Beyond needs a free wiki!

Gives players some basic information on the world. That is information on:

The physical world (that is landscapes, cities, different realms/planes)

How the magic world

A timeline with the major events

Important characters in the world

The gods and their worship

And what you would want to do is then on each of the pages put a "If you are interested in this, you might wanna buy X" and sell them adventures, one shots, shortstories and the like (more on this a bit further down). Get people hooked on events, cities, locations, NPCs and then offer them stuff on that. For the love of god, do not just expect players to do their own legwork to decide on what module they might wanna buy.

Additionally to this, I would take a page out of how the German publisher for Shadowrun does their marketing there: Have a monthly in-universe "newsletter" styled as a part of an in-universe newspaper to just introduce some in-universe events, which at times could also be used as a jumping off point for one shots and the like. (Look folks, there is a reason why the German publisher for Shadowrun is beloved even in the English fandom. How much they give on worldbuilding is part of it.)

And as much as whatever directors responsible will hate this: Yeah, fuck, make all the species and classes accessible for everyone. (With one caviat - but I will go into that later as well.) Because what you want is players to use DnD Beyond over Roll20.

This also means: Items and monster stats should be accessible over DnD Beyond without buying three different books. Because they are accessible on Roll20 and even outside of that... Look, it is not that hard to find. And given that it is fairly clear that they want DnD Beyond to be the main source of income in terms of DnD, they need to get people hooked on DnD Beyond over Roll20.

The Stuff that should come with Subscriptions

Alright, so let's talk about what I would put into the subscription model. I will not go what I would put under each tear. Because honestly, I have no clue.

For once, yes, I have complicated feelings on the map tool. Because the DnD Beyond tool is a lot better than the tool that Roll20 offers and as they are still working on it, I have no doubt that it will get even better in the future. So, yeah, it is... complicated. I get why it is behind the subscription, I do. But I am not entirely certain whether it is the right decision - for a reason I will get to shortly.

So, what I would put behind the Subscription - even though I would also offer everything of this in a short for one-time payment. Monthly content. (And yes, I am using the content word here, forgive me Patrick H. Williams.) That could be:

Little One-Shot adventures

Short stories and short comics

Maps

Like, technically they already have those "monthly perks", but... You know, right now it is mostly pretty pictures and other aesthetic. Give the people just a bit more stuff that would actually get them to play a more and interact with the world more.

Bonus points is, that in short stories, one shots and concepts you can easily test out ideas. (Like, heck, make a lot of more different genres within the setting. You can tell a crime mystery, a slice of life story, all sorts of stuff.)

Right now they are publishing some free one shots from time to time. Just do a bit more with that. It is a roleplaying game. Give people more reasons to interact with the world.

Because again, here is the thing: The world is the stuff you can actually sell. The simple game mechanics are not. For once game mechanics cannot be licensed, but also... Again, I know were to find it all for free!

In this I would also put something that is a bit more controversial: Use this to digitally distribute some of the older stuff from older editions. I know that Hasbro is like 100% against it. But here is the thing: They keep saying: "Oh yeah, not all of that is canon anymore." But they also do not bother to give us an idea what is canon and what not. So, great moment to clear this up, don't you think?

And given that I doubt that 20 years old books are the big sellers, they could just easily give away the e-books in the subscription as a little bonus.

How to actually fill up the Marketplace - Original Stuff

Alright, let's face another thing: All the lore books and adventures together in the DnD Beyond Marketplace together add up to a total worth of about $1200. Which, sure, if you are a fan wanting to buy it all, is a lot. But from a company perspective actually is not that much. Because here is the thing: Actually the production of those books is fairly expensive. Even if you only market them digitally.

Like, I do think that they would do better and go with the prices that Catalyst does with Shadowrun of $20-25, rather than the $29, but knowing how much financial overhead is there for those books, I can understand where the price comes from. Again, I am talking from an economic decision.

So, I say... Fill it up.

For example: Right now there is one set of maps sold in the market place. Which is a 20 maps strong collection. But it is literally the only maps-thing sold in that section of the market place. And maps are the one thing that literally every group will use in some place.

Which brings me back to why I think the use of the Map Tool should be free: Because then you can actually sell more maps. Sell single maps. Sell small collections of maps. Go with a low price of $1-2 per map, maybe $4-5 for the bigger or fancier maps. $10 for a collection of five maps.

Bonus: You can use those maps to also throw in fun little lore things.

And just... you know. Make a map for a temple each of each of the gods. Make some premade dungeon maps. Maps of certain canonical locations. City maps. You name it. Compared to other sorts of illustrations, maps can actually be fairly cheap.

Additionally: Just throw in little dungeon crawls as one shots. Depending on the amount of content in there, put in $3-8 per one dungeon crawl. Theme it nicely.

I love DMing DnD. I do. But I am frank with you: I hate designing dungeons. So, if I could buy a premade dungeon for $4, I would go: "Shut up and take my money!" Heck, I would probably also use it as a writing ressource and all of that.

In generally you can also sell some one shots here. Like, a one shot or two shot is actually not that expensive to produce. Which is why so many are given away for free. Sell them for again $3-8 depending on how much content there is.

Which brings me to short stories and comics.

I know what some might say: "But didn't that already kinda fail with League of Legends, like you spoke about last week?" Which, yeah. It did. But... I am also going to assume that in general the playerbase of DnD is way more interested in the lore, than the LoL crowd is interested in their respective lore. Because one game is all about storytelling, while the other is all about the gameplay.

And again: Short stories and one shot comics could be a good way to get people hooked onto the lore, which again might get them to invest into stuff like the adventures set in the world. And you can use them to try out ideas for what ends up to be fairly little in comparison to bigger stuff. Also, you can get more diverse writers and artist to do stuff for you, which looks good and might actually interest the wide diverse audience of your game.

How to actually fill up the Marketplace - Licensed stuff

Okay, let me talk about the no-brainer where by the love of all the gods I cannot figure out why the fuck WotC is not doing this. It is boggling my mind. I do not understand.

You remember the fucking drama with the OGL last year and how it bit them in the fucking ass? Yeah. Here is the thing, they did it the entire wrong way around. And honestly, I am not even sure whether now they can pull the intelligent version of this off, even though it is so fucking obvious. I mean, again. I do not understand. It is so stupid. If you know anything about the fucking internet.

Allow big content creators to sell supplementary material over your webshop and then take a cut from that. They do some of that with Critical Role, where they do sell some adventures from that franchise in their webshop. And from one other group too, I think.

But like... There are so many Actual Play groups and even other content creators (the entire Fool's Gold Campaign comes to mind with their millions of views on Youtube), that even have like their own self-produced lore books, adventures, one shots and other content.

And then there are of course just people who create additional rules, that currently can partly be shared over the homebrew system on DnD Beyond - but not be monetized, which sucks for the creators and for DnD Beyond.

I... I just do not get it. Rather than going: "Oh, you used DnD for this, now we change the OGL, so you'll have to give us money!", which went over as well as expected, they could have gone: "Hey, content creators. Great opportunity! You created additional moduls/adventures for DnD? Now you can officially sell it in our webshop at the page we want everyone to use! Of course we are gonna use a small cut for the hosting, marketing and moderation. But in return, you have access to a much wider audience!"

Like, it is so simple it is plain stupid that they didn't do that. I cannot fathom why they have never done this. I just cannot. I am sorry.

It would allow them to get a cut of the stuff they kinda want a cut from - while doing it in a way that is a lot more pro-community building.

And that is without mentioning that the entire OGL disaster has now several big Actual Play groups go and play with different systems. I heard that people are blaming Matt Mercer for it and like... No, this is entirely WotC's fault.

Speaking of Actual Plays

Okay, this leads me to the thingie where I also do not understand why they do not do it. Because they could license the living hell out of this. Do a fucking official Actual Play. Not on DnD Beyond, of course. Just... Somewhere. I do not really care where. Youtube, I guess.

While they host some one shots on their official twitch, so far they did not a big campaign thing officially as far as I am aware. And the concept is fairly simple: Follow the Critical Role formular. Get some voice actors on there. Bonus if you get a more diverse group than they have on Critical Role, that I also call "Critical Whiteness". (Note please: I do not actually like Critical Role for that reason among others. It is way too white for my taste. However, I cannot argue with success.)

And most importantly: Set that campaign in the official world, and do create and understanding with the DM that there is actually some meta-story progression with the lore. Again: The world is what they can license, so LICENSE THE FUCK OUT OF THAT!!!

With that you would also have some more characters that can work as access points into the world and the lore. You also can sell those campaigns, you can sell short stories and books, you can sell merchandise for this. Because as soon as that is the official group, yeah... You are the producers, you can get to make the money of it.

This is also something that falls under: "Why the hell are they not doing this?"

I mean, again, I am not the biggest fan of Critical Role, but technically WotC could also go: "Hey, do you wanna cooperate on the next campaign?" And jump off from that.

Or have the voice actors from BG3 cameo as their characters from that game. Folks would EAT THAT UP.

Some other assorted things

One, or two more things that I actually think they could do a bit more with... well, events and community stuff. And by using social media better, because... Look, the way WotC is kinda marketing the stuff is so 2000s in many regards. Like, use new media. Heck, use fucking TikTok. Which also might I note: They so desperately want to reach Gen Alpha. And I am honest with you, I have no fucking idea how to reach Gen Alpha. I don't. But a gut feelings tells me that TikTok might be a start.

See, I am following other franchises as well, and one thing that some do well is just got throw out some event related stuff. Make some pride month stuff. Sure, I hate Rainbow Capitalism, but sadly it works. And again, I am writing this under the idea of: "How to turn DnD Profitable."

Bring out some stuff to some other events. Like a Christmas thingie or something along those lines. Again, be it short stories, be it one shots, be it an Actual Play one shot on the Actual Play podcast THEY DESPERATELY SHOULD DO.

Also... They cannot learn the wrong lessons from BG3. Just because this one game they licensed out was lightning in a bottle, they cannot go and be: "Let's just rely on CRPGs to make us money." Because that can backfire really quickly.

[iamthecomet]

-strolls in holding a bag of sweet feed-

Hi, it has been a minute (feels like that's the theme here with me popping in anymore lol) figured I would drop in and give a little update and see how you're doin'~

I finished reading 'Salem's Lot; Loved it.

I read it in-between customers at work, and only then, because it kept me consistent and gave me something to do during my downtime other than attempt the crossword or draw things on the backs of envelopes.

I also took up a new hobby; I've been making silly bracelets.

All in all, I've just been trying to be more present in my day to day life.

My friends and I have been holding a weekly game night online, and then an irl one every so often so we can play board games, and recently I started sitting in on my friends' dnd campaign and taking notes for the one DM as a reference tool, and occasionally appearing as a candle selling NPC.

Generally speaking, I don't know if I'm doing better than I was before, the last two-three years have been a lot, but I'm trying to get myself back into a more productive mindset at the very least.

I also may or may not have started taking, uhh... "special gummies" to help with my anxiety, because, whoo boy.

That's been a bit of an adventure, too, but it's nice to have something that helps me calm down.

So how goes it in your neck of the woods?

I saw the stuff about the tour and all of that coming up.

-there are now a lot of deer grazing in your inbox-

1 I've missed you I'm so glad to see 4you here again. I love your updates ♥. 2. Glad you loved Salem's Lot. I read it a million years ago but I really enjoyed it and have always thought I should re-read it someday. 3. I am OBSESSED with your bracelets, excuse me!?!? THE WORMS ONE (all of them but that one in particular)???? 4. I love that you're trying to be more present, and have been doing fun things with your friends! Game nights are the best, digital or otherwise. And candle selling NPC sounds like a dream job, where do I apply? 5. Are the gummies helping? What kind of adventure has it been? Inquiring minds want to know! 6. It's good-ish over here. Life is fucking hard, dude. But we persist. It's been a rough few months, but I am still here and still moving forward. It's a roller coaster for sure. But it's one I'm glad I'm on--even when things are shitty. Work is busy (huge, really cool, things happening with the library soon!) but also good--I'm so lucky to have a job I actually like. 7. Yes, Ghost tour. Stressful ticket buying. Now I just have to twiddle my thumbs until next July. Thank you for ALL THE NEW PETS LOVE YOUUUUU. *starts putting leashes and cute little hats on the deer*

[aluckiicoin]

6!!

What other fandoms are you in, apart from this one?

Tl;Dr?: I fit's not participating it's: Star Rail, Genshin (are the ones I RP in), Dragon Age (I adore, no way I step into rp there), Digimon, SMT (+persona), Kingdom Hearts (but kh3 ruined it), Shadowrun, DnD, Servamp, Bungo Stray Dogs (but only the anime sources), Devil May Cry, League of Legends and more

if it is participating? Well, only HSR by now.

I'm never really active in any fandom, I'm the silent lurker unless I rp and since I exclusively rp'ed OCs until Aventurine I usually slipped under the radar there too. (And Ven is a very special exception I feel, I mean, look at Blade or my Multimuse, they're wastelands xD). But when we go for fandoms I enjoy? Then, oh boy, there's a lot.

Now, first of all, what will always get me talking is Dragon Age, I have the novels (or read them), I still want all the comics, I played all games. It went as far that I wanted to weep over Baldurs Gate 3 because that one finally gave me the “hd, new content” game I wanted from Bioware in the dragon age universe for years. We can even say centuries now.

The second one that comes to mind is Digimon, I claw for every Digimon game I can get, I adore the idea in most iterations. It's always fun.

And while we're at Digimon it's easy to say: Shin Megami Tensei. Yes, also, all I can get my hands on except of the next fucking persona 5 spin off because listen. Persona 5 was awesome, yes, but I suck at rhythm games and I don't have a ps5. But I especially adore the digital devil saga. I want a HD remake of that.

Also, I have to mention Persona separately now given per 5 it's officially not a SMT game anymore, funny, given they finally brought the demons back. And when we're at persona, I played P2, innocent sin and couldn't get my hands on either P1 or eternal punishment. I will never forgive p5 for using the butterfly theme on someone and it not being a connection to persona 2.

I used to love Kingdom Hearts but then it just became more and more of buy this console too, do that thing too and I really didn't like how KH3 looked despite giving my favorite char a keyblade. Such a waste.

I put Shadowrun in all my futuristic RP characters, I love delving into a world that is worse than our own. It just happens that we come always closer to it being real. I hate how we got scammed out of magic though. Any augmentations I put on my characters can usually be found and described on the shadowhelix.

Well, I couldn't find anyone to rp Shadowrun so I settled on DnD and I've been reading up. Still preferring Pathfinder pantheon/lore though.

League of Legends has been a part of my life for a really long time. With HSR and Genshin having actually valuable dailies I haven't played a game in months. But I adore the lore, the world, and I wish I could play in it. The first time I tried the fandom was really nice. But damn I fear I that won't be the case anymore and I don't wanna flood my HSR blogs with league rp'ers so I'm not following anyone from there anymore (not that the ppl I liked are still around to begin with).

[henrysglock]

okay okay i love talking about dnd - dnd anon back again

just general fyi, there's multiple editions for dnd. new monsters get added over the course of them, some stats change, game mechanics get reworked ect. we're on E5 right now. the party in ST would be playing with E1 which came out in the early 80s (E2 came out in the late 80s and is definitely relevant to anything S4 and onwards). i know most of the original 80s stats, but just mentioning here that some numbers went up or down a few digits over the years

okay and now breaking this down:

in dnd you have CRs (= Challenge Ratings) which are a number between 0 and 30. those give you an idea of the general strength of an enemy, the higher the stronger. that's generally how you as a DM decide what to throw at your party since you don't want to give and absolute BeastTM to you Lvl. 1 party (CRs also aren't always 100% reliable since DMs can tweak stats slightly to fit their parties better, but CRs DO give you a pretty solid idea of how fucked you're going to be on average going into an encounter)

and long story short, a Mindflayers CR is 7. Vecna's is 26. and yeah that'd basically already be enough said, one of these is Not like the other. Tldr: Vecna is an absolute Unit and wins this competition every time

but now also, more in depth:

first more stats: CR only give you the General difficulty of an enemy. you also have AC (Armour Class) and HP for every enemy for example:

AC -> MF: 15, V: 18

HP -> MF: 71 (potentially up to +13 with additional roles when creating the enemy), V: 272 (with a roll up to +128)

Vecna, again, unsurprisingly given the CR, wins everything here BY FAR. but besides stats, the actual game lore is also interesting:

for one, i said A Mindflayer intentionally because there's actually multiple. it's not a unique enemy type (it's still rare though). they're also called Illithids and are actually much more human looking than on the show -> a bit of a wizard type - also much more human sized than the one in ST. their faces are very much spider tentacles tho so I'm guessing that's from where we got the visuals for our favorite Big Guy. (also, fun fact: Illithids/ Mindflayers tend to show up in combat with a handful of followers they're mindcontrolling, very similar to the plot of s3 actually, just think that's neat :D)

and then there's VECNA. THE Vecna. the ONE and only (ha). totally unique. actually, as of E1 Vecna wasn't even a fightable enemy with stats yet. he was only Referenced in the monster manual (where all the dnd enemy lore at the time came from) + his eye (or arm actually? sorry not sure which one it actually was) were super strong items you could find. but no Vecna in the flesh yet - he was just this elusive evil in the background. only in E2 did Vecna actually get a stats sheet and was something you could actually try and fight. and Vecna is Big in dnd, a bit of a staple figure actually - especially in E2 at the time. Mindflayers may be more of an enemy class than a given "name" for one specific person/monster. but oh boy did Vecna sure make a name for himself alone. multiple names actually, that's the guy people call "the Arch Lich" and "the Undying King" to name a few, if there's One wizard you're going to be sweating to fight in late 80s dnd it's THIS guy. Hard as Hell to beat! and a dnd icon on top of it!

and even the fighting in itself is going to be an absolute Bitch, so here a general idea of how combat works:

aside from attacking, you constantly roll saving throws. that's how you avoid dying/ taking damage/ suffering negative effects like poison or burning etc. the saving throws are all in a specific attribute so Intelligence or Wisdom for example. you roll with a D20 and need to get something higher than a certain predetermined number to actually get the save and avoid whatever made you roll for the save in the first place. depending on the stat you're rolling in, the numbers for the MFs are basically all between 6-7. but for VECNA they're all between 12-15.

the combat system in E1 and E2 is slightly different than today and i'm not Totally in tune with it, so i'm not Completely sure if/how saving throws might have worked a bit different back then,

but the HIGH requirement for saves (consistently rolling over 12-15 with a D20 is Fucked btw) is also why we see the game in S4 go down the way it does. the entire group makes it to the final boss alright but then starts falling like flies. because you'd have to consistently roll REALLY high to keep hitting saves and not chip your health down slowly or get CRIT'ed in one go. and even if you're lucky with rolls, the longer the combat goes on the more likely you are to start missing saves and either die from a direct hit or get a negative effect that kills you over time. which is why we see the entire party go down alongside Mike during Eddie's game, except for Dustin and Erica who are both still 1 hit from death.

even the parts of the game sequence we actually get SEE on screen in s4 show us this directly, when we see Mike going first in the combat order and look upset immediately when he presumably fails his first save right away (unlucky) -> i've seen people confused why Mike looks upset but an Enemy figure gets knocked down on the board instead of his paladin. this is why as far as i can tell here. he might have still won against whatever he was fighting but took massive damage or got a passive negative effect from failing his first save. he zero'd out later at some point, since only Erica and Dustin are left by the end, but i probably wasn't Directly after the first hit he took (even though it could obviously be Because of that hit, since it might've been a passive effect which can kill you with a few rounds delay)

so Yupp, that's the general breakdown here! so tldr Again: if you had the choice between facing the Mindflayer or Vecna on the condition that everybody sticks to dnd rules you do NOT go for Vecna. Ever. that guy is Horrible to beat. literally the chance of fucking up like Mike here and missing your FIRST save right off the bat is 60-75%, that's BAD, that can KILL you

me with my melted ice cream brain: yeah what u said

but actually yeah looking at the numbers it’s v clear who’s the big bad even from the dnd framework. and it also makes sense why El et al. are able to defeat the mindflayer twice but not Vecna/Henry even once

[shadowdianne]

I've seen the minis and you talking about critical role, do you also play?

Oh, hello anon! My first dnd related question! :P Yes, I do play! I started playing before knowing about critical role and it was actually my dm who told me about it -at the time I think only like the first third of the campaign might have been out? I can't remember, I became a fan overnight and basically consumed about everything and saw the first campaign to completion. The minis are a fairly recent thing though, I did some painting courses when I was a kid but I have never been particularly good at drawing so I left that in the memories cabinet.

When I went to live to Edinburgh I picked on drawing once more, even buying myself some really cheap tablet. I re-learned some stuff and taught myself how to draw digitally. I liked it but it wasn't entirely my thing so I gifted the tablet away after returning to Barcelona. Felt the best thing, I learned lots about color and lighting tho and it was fun picking on a new skill but I ultimately decided that it wasn't for me. Yet, I loved color-theory and I really wanted to do something creative so I spent half of the hardest parts of lockdown watching videos on mini-painting and getting incresignly more and more interested on it. Eventually I bought my first set of paints -who haven't died on me yet althought they are probably about to lmao- and some minis. I've just recently started to delve into better shadowing, face-details and the like. My first ones were more about me learning how the fuck I could do this or that texture and how colors merge. The last two things I did were a storm giant -I'm proud af about the skin texture I managed for that one!- and a red dragon with gold detailing. I still want to go over the dragon's face but I haven't gotten the time. A friend of mine aso gifted me a resine figure of an anime character we both love and that one is sitting around, waiting until I get some time to do proper research on asembling the figure (IT IS HUGE) and painting it.

I'm sorry, I'm infodumping all of this and I'm sure you only wanted a short answer ^^'' Back to the question at hand: as I said, my dm talked to me about critical role and the like and she, knowing how much I love telling stories, quickly goaded me towards playing as a dm myself. I'm sure it was painful to watch me during those first games; there was just too much at first and I had only a baseline but she was patient, loaned me the main books -I play 5th edition- and I basically read them all several times over until I felt comfortable enough with some of the things I encountered as a DM. But my first game was prepared to the minimum with me letting my players free on the phandalin mines lol as I furiously scrambled for monster's ac and the like. Even if I started as a player and at some point we had multiple games playing with me being a dm in some and me being a character in other the games I was a player fizzled out so I got "stuck" with the DM seat. I don't mind it though, I love creating stories for my players WITH my players despite me calling them the disaster party 2.0 -the 1.0 version is another group of players xd- and I've recently started to add more and more homebrew as I've gathered books and stuff and I do have a better understanding of how to play and what is my own style of dm-ing -at the end of the day, there are as many styles as dm's really- I'm currently dming one main campaign with some oneshots thrown into it as well as secondary games. (We will be trying to re-play Strahd as it is the favorite setting for the majority of the table who had at least played it once or twice and I really want to check with my past self last time I run through it and see how or if I have improved) Oh, and I recently did a Call of Chtulhu one shot that ended way better than expected lmao. But we have talked it over between my friend group and the day we do a proper game of lovecraft I'll be seating at the player's side. I cannot wait for that to happen, I have several ideas for a character!

[pbandjesse]

Im currently playing DND with James and all the friends. But I hate how this always happens where we say well stop at a certain time and now its gone on 40 minutes longer and Im tired and hungry and I just feel like my time isnt being respected and like if this was not a work night I wouldnt care as much but I just. Feel so mad right now and its making me not even able to enjoy the game. I just want to take a shower and get in bed. And like. I know I wont be able to fall asleep for hours. So this just makes me feel worse. 

Its hard to think about the nice parts of the day. Cause it wasnt a bad day at all. Im just tired. I didnt sleep good again. I dont know if its stress or what. But its not fun. 

I woke up today in an alright mood. I wanted to like. Just keep sleeping. But I got up. My chest was hurting but I was doing alright. I got washed and dressed. I didnt love my outfit and changed a few times. It is becoming harder to make outfits with just black bottoms. Which is annoying. I dont like that my favorite color clothing is being tainted by work. 

Because I slept in a little later I only had an hour to do anything. I did put some stuff away and I did a silly digital drawing project for a video. I watched a video and had a bagel. I was in a good mood besides the rain. 

It was a gross and rainy day. I wore my new windbreaker thing and had a nice walk over to the site. And today was a pretty alright day. One of the women I really enjoyed from my last site started working at our site. So that was nice. 

I spent some time making pieces out of construction paper to make pizzas to explain to the kids what it means to be an ingredient and what it means to make things from ingredients. And that ended up being a really fun little project. I had a good time leading that. 

I actually was really proud of myself today with the pizza project and I also lead the kids in an improve story telling game that went on for almost 45 minutes. I would ask different kids for a place, a character, and an action and then we go around the room telling the next parts of the story. We had aliens and monsters and skeletons. We had ex cons and redemption and fighting and a princess on a diplomatic journey. It was a lot of fun actually. 

But there was also a lot of yelling? A lot of crying? I dont know why Wednesdays are so terrible but it keeps happening. And its just exhausting. 

And now I am being told that this site is planning on us being there through June 15th?? Excuse me?? I did not sign up for that. I will stay to the end of may at the latest. But really I thought we were done at the begining of may. So I am just. Not feeling happy about it. I want to work on selling my plushies for a little bit before the summer. And I just feel like both being taken advantage of and being forced into something I wasnt prepared for.  

I had some fun parts of the later half of the day when I just read to the kids for a while. I read like 5 books?? They all seemed to have a good time. 

Most of the kids left before 5. And then our last 2 kids got picked up pretty soon after that. I got to leave here at 530 and the rain wasnt coming down hard. 

I got home and heated up my leftover chipolte. I rested on the couch and was feeling a little overwlemed that we were playing DND tonight. 

I laid down in the studio and got myself set up for the game. And the game was really fun for the first few hours. But I wanted to be done at 10. We played from 7 until literally 5 minutes ago at 11pm. And like. I have been writing this for a half hour now. It was to much.  And Im trying not to be upset because I know a lot of this was I was planning on eating something when we were done and we dont get good service in the kitchen so I kept being like. Well be done soon. But I knew we werent going to be. And finally at 1030 I was like. Fuck it and went and had peanutbutter crackers and just got really quiet on the call. I had fun for the most part. Got to cast some spells. But Im tired and I just dont feel all that great right now. 

Im going to go wash my face and lay down. I hope you all have a good night. Take care of yourselves. 

[thisismandee]

The Rebel and The Criminal

Chapter 12) Stubbie's Party

I walked into my house to silence. My mom wasn't home she had gone to visit family for the weekend. So, I had the whole house to myself. I grab a snack from the kitchen and then I went into the living room and sat on the couch. I turned the TV on but I wasn't paying attention to it. All I could think about was today, and the walk home I just had. Was this a dream, was this real. I pinched myself to make sure that everything that just happened was in fact true. I laid back on the couch and looked up at the ceiling. I thought back to just a few minutes ago on the walk home.

I was walking right next to John Bender. Of all people, him. It was crazy, but after what had happened to all of us today I wasn't that surprised. We had been talking about the day and just enjoying each others company. Then he looked over to me.

"Hey, so you know how they mentioned that Stubbie was having a party tonight? Well, I was thinking about crashing it and I didn't know if you planned on going. I mean it would be cool if you showed up. But it's okay if you don't."

I smiled. Was this his way of asking to hang out with me outside of Saturday detention. "Maybe I will stop by." I replied to him. He smiled at me but then looked forward again.

"Cool."

We continued to walk and talk, but then we eventually came up to my house. "Well, this is my house."

"I guess I'll talk to you later." He says. I reach into my bag and pull out a pen. I grab his hand and pull up the sleeve of his shirt. I write my number on his arm. He looks down at the digits on his forearm.

"Call me later, sweets." I say with a little bit of sass. I leaned up and give him a kiss on the cheek and I walk through my front door. As I close the door behind me I felt the blush on my cheeks. And that is how I ended up here. On my couch thinking about what the hell I was going to wear tonight!

I went upstairs to my bedroom. I walked in and realized how much of a pigsty I lived in. My clothes were everywhere, my bed wasn't made, and I had makeup everywhere. God, I really needed to clean, but I didn't have time for that. I needed to find something to wear. Ran over to my hamper and I started to through clothes everywhere. I had to have something to wear. Everything I pulled out either was not right, or it smelled horrible. I shuffled through some clothes that I had on my bed and I found my skin tight, black pants. Those could work, but I needed a top. I shuffled through a few more piles of clothes before I finally laid on my bed ready to admit defeat. I had nothing for clothes. Then I got an idea.

I walked down the hall to my mothers room. I went in and it was perfect. It was clean, and pristine. Like no one lived there. Her perfumes were in a perfect line on her dresser, and she had jewelry laid out perfectly next to each other on the other side. I walked over to her closet. I really hope she had something in here. I opened it up and all I saw was work clothes. I didn't need a blazer. I needed a top! I was about to cut my losses when I looked up and I saw a piece of black fabric on the shelf above me. I grabbed it and pulled it down. I unfolded the garment and my jaw dropped. It was perfect. It was a black top with a big neckline, so it made it off the shoulders. I ran back into my bedroom to try it on.

I pulled the shirt on over my head. It fits perfectly, not too tight, but not too loose. It draped perfectly. I put on my pants, and put my converse back on. I didn't want to be too dressy. I then found my light wash denim jacket and put that on over it. I looked in my mirror and smiled. It was perfect. All of a sudden I heard the phone ringing. My heart skipped a beat. Was it who I thought it was?

I ran down the stairs and grabbed the phone. I took a deep breath and started to speak. "Hello?"

"Hi, honey, I am just calling to check up on you." My heart sank for a brief second. I am not going to lie I was disappointed.

"Hi mom. I am fine. How is everything with you?"

"It's good, I just also wanted to call to tell you that I will be home tomorrow afternoon."

"Okay, I will see you tomorrow then." I was trying to rush the conversation. I didn't want to miss it if I did get a phone call.

"Wow, trying to rush me off the phone, huh?" She did have a way to tell when I didn't want to talk. "Okay, well I will see you tomorrow. I love you! Bye."

"Love you, bye." I quickly hung up the phone.

I went back upstairs and decided to put on some makeup. I put a little bit of mascara and liner on my eyes. I put on a gloss and called it good. When I looked over at the clock I realized it was 7pm. I know the party started at 8, so I had to get going here soon. I ran my brush through my hair and then gave it a shake to make sure it didn't look too perfect. I turned off my light and I was out the door.

I turned right down a side street and when I did I saw lights coming from a house a few doors down. I could only guess that, that was the party I was looking for. I continued to walk closer to the house. It was huge and I started to hear music coming from the house. This was definitely the place that I needed to be. I walked up to the front door and walked right in. When I did, I noticed that the whole school seemed to be here. The preps, the athletes, the nerds, the artists, the weirdos, the burnouts, etc. Everyone! I looked around and saw Claire with a group of her friends. She noticed me and I gave her a smile and she smiled back. I knew this wasn't the time for her to introduce me to her friends. I walked further into the house and found the living room. In there I found the athletes and I found Andrew, and he was with Allison. His arm was around her and they seemed happy. Allison waved over to me with a smile. I waved back. And continued to walk.

I was walking into the dinning room when I felt someone tapped my shoulder. I looked behind me and it was Brian. "Hey, Mandy. I didn't know you were coming to the party."

"Me either, It was a last minute decision." I smiled over at him. "Hey, have you seen John here? I was supposed to meet him." I looked around for a second.

Brian shrugged. "I haven't seen him at all. I know I have seen his friends hanging around but not him." My heart sank. I knew I was being too overzealous. "Hey, come over here and join us. We are playing a game."

I raised my eyebrow, I wasn't going to play any nerdy game at this party. "What kind of game? DnD?"

"First off, DnD is not that bad of a game. Second, we are playing beer pong over here." I was shocked about what he was saying to me. I feel like this one Saturday really changed Brian. I shrugged and walked with him over to the table. I saw a group of what I am guessing was Brian's friends from the Physics club. I was on Brian's team and two other kids were on the other team, and so the game began.

After what felt like twenty minutes and nine cups of beer later, it was the other teams turn again. Brian and me were getting destroyed at this game and I was also beginning to feel the alcohol in my system. They sink the ping pong ball and I take down the last drink. I watch as Brian moves into the living room to sit down. I don't think the beer was settling well with him. In that moment, I also felt the beer hit my stomach like a ton of bricks. I decided it would be good to walk outside and get some fresh air.

As I walk outside I feel the cool air on my skin, but it feels good. I didn't realize that I was sweating so much. I look around and see smaller groups of people outside in circles talking. Some of them were also smoking and I could smell the Marijuana in the air. I found a lawn chair and sat down. I leaned my head back and took a deep breath. Where was Bender? I didn't think he was going to ditch me like this. It could have been me looking too much into it, but he looked excited that I was going to go. And I was excited to see him as well. But obviously, what happened during Saturday detention was it. It ended there, there was nothing more. I felt a tear roll down my cheek. I wiped it away. Why did I keep crying over this guy. I stood back up and went into the house.

I grabbed the closest alcohol that I could and started to chug. I wanted to forget about my tears. I wanted to have fun. Screw John Bender, he wasn't worth my time. I grab another beer and moved my way into the living room where the music was loudest and I started to let loose. My head started to go blurred as I was dancing and the music was blaring through my soul. I felt someone behind me dancing. I looked behind me and it was a boy I had never seen before. He was wearing a letterman jacket, so I am guessing he was an athlete. But, I didn't care who he was I was just having a good time. I chugged my beer that was in my hand and put it down on the table. I continued to dance with this stranger, and I felt myself losing control. I then felt this stranger brush up against my ass. I didn't register it at first, and I let it go. I then felt him put his hand on my bottom and squeeze. I turned to face him and he grabbed my waist and was moving forward for a kiss. Soon his lips were on mine. I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THIS KID! He pulled me closer to him. I barely was able to push myself free before this went too far.

"Don't touch me." My words were slurred.

"Come on girl, you know you want to." He leaned forward again. I was barely able to lift my arm and I slapped him across the face. "What the fuck was that for? You bitch!" He screamed. Everyone was looking over at us now. I felt all the eyes on us. I had to get away, but I was intoxicated. I felt the tears forming in my eyes. I didn't want to be here anymore. I had to get away. I finally was able to get my legs to move, but it wasn't as fast as I was hoping. I felt like I was running, but I know it was probably more like a stumble. I made my way out the front door and into the road. The cold air, sobered me up a bit. Not a lot but it was enough so I could tell my legs to run. I ran all the way home. I looked up at the clock tower in the middle of town and saw that it was almost midnight.

My mind was racing as I ran home. Bender ditched me, he didn't even show up. I should have known he wasn't going to be there. He didn't call me before the party and he left me there alone. He wasn't there and I got felt up by some stupid jock. And then everyone saw, and just looked at me. I was embarrassed and upset. Why did this have to happen to me? The tears kept streaming down my face.

I saw my house coming up. I turned to face my front door and I saw a figure sitting on the step. At first I was scared, who the hell was that? I couldn't make out any distinct features. I decided to walk closer, as I did I started to realize who it was. I also then realized how furious I was. I walked up to the figure and they stood up. I pushed them as hard as I could, which wasn't much with the alcohol in my system. "How dare you show up here! Who do you think you are!? You ditch me! And then I had a guy fucking grope me! And you think it is okay to show up at my front door!? Fuck you, John!" I screamed. I kept pushing him, and I could feel the tears streaming down my face. I was so angry and upset that I couldn't stop crying.

Bender grabbed my wrists, "Mandy calm down." I yanked my wrists back, and gave him another push. He grabbed my face, "Mandy, calm down, look at me, stop." I refused to look up at him. He then lifted my chin and before I knew it, his lips were on mine. I continued to feel tears coming down my cheeks, but i melted into the kiss. As we parted, I finally took a good look at him, and when I did, I was shocked. I looked him in the eyes and saw that there was a bruise forming around his left eye and there was a split on his upper lip. I lightly rubbed my thumb on the bruise and I saw him wince in pain. I gave him a hug and I felt him relax in my embrace. I opened my front door and grabbed his hand as he followed me inside. I closed the door behind us.

| Chapter 1| Chapter 2| Chapter 3| Chapter 4| Chapter 5| Chapter 6| Chapter 7| Chapter 8| Chapter 9| Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14

[agentaw]

Detroit: Become Human - Funny story...

Okay... so Story Time because my friends pointed this out and it’s been fucking with me ever since.

This is the story of how I kinda...sorta wrote/ predicted parts of DBH about...2 years ago. Just hear me out...okay?

So this all started similarly to how DBH started, with that dope-ass demo back in 2012. My 15 year old self became enthralled in it, much like I am now enthralled in the full game. I’ve always loved story telling and had a sort of soft spot for digital modelling. So that demo was a masterpiece to me, it had a great concept and beautiful design. It was a short obsession but it had an impact. 

And that was the last piece of news I’d ever hear about it until a month after they released the full game. I remember hearing some rumour that they weren’t gonna make it a full game or something and left it at that. I didn’t hear anything about it’s coverage at E3 because while I like video games, I become absorbed in different obsessions from time to time. 

And two years ago I was obsessed with Dungeons and Dragons, the thought of creating a whole world and having others enter it was fascinating. And while I tried to create worlds from scratch, I had a problem. 

I had never been too interested in Fantasy things, I liked fantasy characters but tended to focus on too much of the political aspect of fantasy worlds and not the fun stuff like slaying dragons and stuff. 

The return of an old obsession began to try and take my focus off of DnD but I wasn’t ready to let it go yet. 

So I merged them, DnD didn’t have to be fantasy, I didn’t have to invent a world from scratch and luckily my old obsession had a world pre-designed. Marvel, specifically MCU had a treasure trove of lore and I could take a number of rules from DnD 5e and tweak them to suit the change in genre. 

So I started off with a one shot campaign, set in a HYDRA base. My three player characters would be playing themselves and making decision based on how they’d react. They ‘woke up’ in a white plastic robot body. Singular, all three were in the same body, looking through the same eyes and rolling for control over said robot body. It was entertaining to watch them figure out what they hell was going on organically. They quickly met the first NPC an old doctor/sciencist who was a very nervous person. He explained that they’d all been loaded into the same body by accident and that he was just testing out that his creation (the body itself) was working correctly. So my players decided to answer the jumpy doctors questions and let one of them take control as the doctor got them to walk around while still connected to the computer around them by a bunch of wires connected to the back of their neck. The doctor left the room briefly (to report to his superiors) before returning and calmly explaining that he’d need to shut them down before making the rest of the bodies. Yes, this was heavily inspired by the demo but the players didn’t notice or didn’t comment on it at the time. And they genuinely really like the one-shot. So, I started writing more, growing the campaign and expanding my list of NPCs.

Now I know what you’re thinking, “wow...you ripped off the demo and think that counts as writing a whole game” but I never said I wrote the whole story, that would be mental. But as both me and my players have pointed out, there is a large number of similarities which is spooky because as i already stated I didn’t know anything about DBH until almost a month after it’s full release. 

The first and most profound is Amanda. Or my Amanda, who’s called Ruth LaRue. Dr. Ruth LaRue, the trio’s psychologist/co-creator who acts pleasant (too pleasant) towards them...unless they disobey or resist their training to become Hydra Assets. One of my players is rebellious and LaRue has tried to manipulate and coldly threatened him as a result. While another obeys and gets praise and rewards as a result. Also she looks like Amanda (a character i didn’t even know existed), I originally described her as the same race, hairstyle, though slightly younger. And then I drew her (poorly) for my players to get a better idea of how she looked and Jesus Christ they look the same. 

Another is the fact that I have three player characters. There was a possible fourth player but work and life made it difficult for her to be a part of the game. Also my players are two boys and one girl. And while that’s all freaky, their characters appearances/designs are extra weird. Originally, after all getting their own bodies, they all had white plastic robot bodies, all male design (which female player wasn’t happy about because she missed her boobs). The only way to tell them apart was voice and the nervous doctor had given them different coloured eyes. Creating robots came with the challenge of figuring out how their bodies worked (one player was particularly interested in this). Once again inspiration partly came from the Kara demo, the robots are a water (blue liquid) based system, a pump (heart) transports water, which is collect in bags (lungs) through the robots absorbing moisture in the air (through breathing), around the machine frame (body). The water has two purposes, to thinly coat the white plastic casing (skin), which allowed the robot to feel pressure but not texture and also to keep the pump valves going, which creates the energy the machines (players) are run on. After learning that the white plastic version could be easily broken during training, the nervous doctor created a second batch of models, this time made out of metal (female asked for a female body and therefore the doctor gave her a large dent in her chest plate, she was pleased). They then get a new model, ones that are designed to blend in with humans. And this is where this section gets super freaky. The player got no say in how they looked because in game they wouldn’t. 

The female is the shortest model as well as they palest model with loads of freckles, the similarities with Kara stop there but the female player has been gifted a female kitten (thankfully named Cookie, not Alice) as the reward and is quite paranoid about it being taken off her or harmed (calm down, I haven’t hurt the cat...yet). 

One of the males is only slightly more tanned than the female with considerably less freckles and markings. He’s the tallest and the player has been surprisingly obedient, only "failing” when he doesn’t understand what’s happen or doesn’t think something will benefit HYDRA. Because of this he’s been promoted to team leader by the powers that be. He’s logical and is usually thinking about training and what’s going on in the NPCs’ heads. 

Lastly we have the second male who looks southern European (Spain, Italy, Greece and could probably pass as Mexican but the story is set in central Europe) so a different ethnicity/race to the other two. This is the rebellious player who generally plays pranks, cracks jokes and says “fuck you” to authority. Like I said before as a result, he tends to be the one looked down on and oppressed by the powers that be. He generally has a very clear line which he won’t cross no matter what and is willing to stand up if he views something as drastically wrong (refused to hurt his friends or pick up a gun).

Also when asked what they wanted to be called (I.e What’s your name?) The players decided to to sick to what the nice nervous doctor had designated them, i.e the colours of their eyes. Rebellious is Red. Logical is Blue and Female is Purple (name later changed to Violet).

Next is three more NPCs, who have enough in common with the DBH characters to mess with me. 

The nervous doctor, Dr. Thomas Thornley, while having a completely different personality, has formed relationships like Hank. A number of the players refer to him as “Daddy Thornley”, not to his face but when talking to each other in game. And most disturbingly the rebellious player has implied on several occasions that he “ships” the logical male player with father-figure Thornley, jokingly of course. And while in the beginning Thornley may have viewed the robots as a project or experiment, he now appears quite protective and fond of them. Even displaying discomfort when one is broken or completely destroyed. 

Their combat and gun trainer, Agent Woodrow who is ex-military and treats the robots exactly like you’d expect he would, like machines. He could either be Gavin or Captain Allen but either way he’s a genuine aggressor and dislikes/hates the robots. 

The Head of Hydra, Director Malachi Storm who has an air of mystery around him and commands any room he enters. He’s considerable less creepy than Kamski but is an “all-knowing, all-powerful” character. Also I guess I’m technically also Elijah Kamski (a.k.a GOD) and my players pointed out that i have his sadistic, power hungry play style (thanks, guys).

Lastly is a few game mechanics and events i put in the game. The players have always been able to telepathically talk to one another, they can also transfer images to each other. If broken beyond repair (i.e Killed) they now get automatically rebuilt, similar to Connor. I made LaRue give them a morality test which was mostly the “Track dilemma” which is similar to both the driver-less car AIs and the Kamski test. I actually did the motherfucking Kamski test with one or two of my players (but with humans instead of androids lol). Also the players believe they’re alive (which technically they are). They’ve literally been give zero context as to how they are in robot bodies in the MCU, specifically they’re last memories before the start of the game are of going to sleep in their beds in the real world. They are literally three robots walking around stating that they’re alive. 

And yes, I realise that Cage took shit from other movies but it have seen any of those movies so...:P

If I looked hard I could probably find more scary comparisons but a) I don’t particularly want to show all my cards, in case my players read this post, and b) I appear to have written a fucking TED talk out of what was supposed to be a short funny story. 

[reematheroamer]

4th session

Dnd (cult of cthulu) stuff under read more

The latest session was actually cancelled because the dm as well as one other player were in florida and y’know, hurricane dorian and all. Well some other stuff happened too and a couple people couldn’t make it either.

So it was just me and two other players for a one-shot, (cult of cthulu style)

The whole game was a lot easier than dnd 5e. Pretty much only use two dice, the d10 with 1-10 and the d10 with 10-100 (10, 20, 30, etc) since it’s percentile dice! So you roll the one with 10-100 and roll the 1-10 and add em up for your percentage. I guess you could also just do two normal d10′s but have to know the difference between the first digit dice and the second one. 

Basically you want to get a roll that is lower than your set skill. So if your skill in lockpicking is 50, you want to get a 50 or lower. In this system, a 00 1 is actually a critical success. 

So onto the story we played.

 I played Vivian Romance, a 25 year old actress in the 1920′s with pitch black hair in a faux bob, pale skin, amber eyes, and bright red lipstick. She’s charming, persuasive, rich, and good looking. She knows how to fast talk, hold a gun, do disguises, sneak around, listen, do arts and crafts, and knows a little bit about the occult. 

Vivian was called in to meet an old friend in the hospital. There she met another man, Chester, who had also been called in to see the old friend. Her friend, Rupert Merriweather, is a very sickly old man. He asks her and Chester, his former doctor and friend, to go to the house he and a group of friends had once summoned something very monstrous in, and that he was the last one alive from that group. He handed them a box of stuff, then threw up on them. Luckily Vivian had a set of spare clothes in her bag.

She and Chester find some clues in the box, including a journal, letter, key, and a small golden sarcophagus with a language they couldn’t decipher. So they went to the academy where Vivian successfully flirted with and charmed a professor to translate it for free. Then she spoke to another professor and also successfully charmed and flirted with him (both old men lmao) to convince him to transcribe part of a book that was very offlimits. But he didn’t translate the part they needed and had already left. Well the book was in a very restricted area with three locks. So Vivian goes to flirt with the librarian lady named Margaret. 

Well i got a 00 1 for my charm roll. Which, in dnd, is a critical failure. But not in cult of cthulu! That’s a natural success (because you want to get the lowest possible number, lower than your score for that skill) So she got lucky and Margaret happened to be a big fan of her movies, and also a lesbian lmao. So while the librarian can’t open the door (she doesnt have the keys) she walks off to “talk” with Vivian while Chester rolls for lockpicking on the door. He rolled a 00 2. 

Our DM didn’t want us to get in this room. This was a pre-written campaign, and the players were NOT supposed to see this book in full. But with two really good rolls, he had to give us something. So we got the banishing ritual for the thing the old friend had summoned.

Well then they find out Rupert (old friend) has just died. So they quickly go to the house, find a hobo living in the basement terrified and crying. Vivian gives him the current day equivalent of 60 bucks and tells him to leave. They find the info on the ritual as well as several bottles of vodka (that they stash away.) and start the ritual to banish the thing (that the hobo told them was in the attic)

Chanting and drawing of pentagrams later, acid starts to fall from the walls, dead animals with no hearts fly around everywhere, and then. They hear the sound of an old woman begging for help.

Vivian looks out the window while chester continues the ritual, and finds an injured old woman walking towards the door, locked and boarded up as they cant have anyone interrupt the ritual.

Vivian yells at the woman to leave and says they’re doing something important. The old lady continues toward the door. So Vivian pulls out her handgun and fucking shoots her point blank in the face and her head explodes in red mist. 

After a short moment of tremendous guilt, the old lady she just shot continues to walk towards the door. So Vivian shoots her leg. She limps towards the door. Vivian shoots her other leg. She crawls towards the door. Vivian remembers the door is locked and barricaded and returns to the ritual.

They hear the hobos voice, and look out and he’s trying to get in through the back door, crying out for help. Vivian attempts to shoot him, but I rolled a 94 and that’s a really bad failure. Her gun jams and is useless.

The creature they’re attempting to banish appears and Chester showers it in dust (while Vivian is preoccupied with the hobo) and catches a glimpse of the monster. Typical lovecraftian monster, it’s horror beyond mention and comprehension. He loses several sanity points just by looking at it, and is left speechless.

Then Vivian hears her mothers voice, and turns and sees her mother standing there begging her not to do this. Vivian, unconvinced, says “I don’t believe this for a second!” and throws her gun right at it. The form disappears in a cloud of mist.

They manage to finish the ritual, and all seems quiet. At the end, Vivian says “Hey. I have an idea. Remember that alcohol?” And she rips part of her dress out and makes a Molotov cocktail “let’s burn this place to the ground.” And they douse the house in flames and watch it and the bodies in it burn. And so they’ve done it.

Anyway tl;dr (this was mostly for me cuz i have a shit memory and it was a really good story to play and a great time and i wanna be able to recall it) Call of Cthulu is a great game, even for a complete beginner.

Vivian charmed two old men and one woman, shot an old ladys face off, threw a gun at her fake mom, banished an ancient Egyptian demon god, and then set a house on fire.

[hamletstudy]

[3/100] // 7.20.19 // haute mess couture

it’s way too hot to think. im literally melting. im drinking the water faster than it has a chance to cool down it’s kind of insane how hot the summers get even with the thick knot of greenery outside of my window

especially because looking out at the other cluster of yards its just our weird intersection that has lots of trees and it is an insane mix of biodiversity out there, i wonder why? our next door neighbour does in fact exist, i saw him washing the dishes the other day, but his yard is so overrun you can’t actually hang out in the yard, its been overtaken by the wilderness and makes up most of the large green knoll

toby as a little kid is kind of adorable? especially his interactions with archie, its kind of fun playing odd but quirkycute kids and his pet butterfly named zipper. its also been neat being given the chance to develop his NPC parents from the apocalypse verse

i have bites on my TOES too this is borderline ridiculous. and in my EAR

ate some chicken salad Caesar wraps and almost cried about how good they are. vomited shortly afterwards, but just an insipid little spit of a mouthful of puke, i think it was because i saw a single piece was a bit well. pink looking, still ate it anyways, still delicious. also because for once i was eating at a somewhat normal time with an actual FOOD ITEM

showered and it was a pain in the ass avoiding the tenderness of the foot that’s been mangled, its a persistent sharp stinging pain from the flayed off skin and its more of a shallow, large wound, not excessive blood but a lot of sharp, persistent pain, especially when trying to move around because of where it is on my ankle mostly 

i hate the bedroom door. it gets swollen stuck inside of its frame and its impossible to open from the inside, you need someone pushing from the outside and the inside to get it to pop open

had a weird moment of self appreciation today. it was nice. took a selfie underneath the light of the window and it lit my hair up white, and for once i didnt really want to slap a filter on it and call it a day

watching the tenderness of that man leaning in to bump against the others shoulder casually, or lean his head against him was kind of cute. painfully cute

i need to watch more of the notebook, i hazily recall a fragment of it upstairs

might add more to this, unsure. mostly been lying in a painful, limp puddle on the black pull out futon couch thing ive been living on. almost suffocated when the sheets collapsed and tangled me up in all of their silkiness, but i had a great period of reading unresolved mysteries in bed upstairs even if it was sweltering hot, being alone is such a delicious, much needed feeling to retain my sanity

nature and aloneness. thats what i need

i just want to do some digital collage and mentally veg out. i think i’m going to do that.

WE ARE LITERALLY ON A HEAT ALERT FML

i learned last night that they have amber alerts (and read into the case of why, 8 minutes is all the difference) and like elder alerts, covering 17 and 65+, but 18-64 is a no man’s land, apparently

proud of myself for being able to share the 3rds method (what you feel, reasons, what to do next) and the lenses (yellow driving glasses on blue sky, green is green, but the sky is blue) with someone who really benefited from it and being able to put myself into their shoes and empathize

that poetry is in everything, everywhere- that we are a part of nature, that writing is how i discover myself, how i verbalize and conceptualize what lurks in my subconsciousnes... 

cherubophobia 

i’m so afraid of not leaving a mark, but im so young! i’m only eighteen! that’s a tiny fraction of life! i’m so little! and i leave behind the words, if nothing else, i leave behind this

(( we’ve been playing ‘elle’s softcore version of dnd, which really just makes use of the roll mechanic’ set in a new spin on superheroes in toronto: this time moving away from the ingram mafia and delving into the world of MONARCH, which was an arg i never did get around to doing much with, and its mostly fresh faces with some old ones re: bowman, archie, toby. heres a fun list of things that have happened thus far

i accidentally remade alpha val. joel ryder is a thotty bartender who is instagram model hot, volunteers at sunday school and his former elementary school in honour of his dead mother, is a huge proponent of safe driving, and knows an UNGODLY amount of scripture and chicken lore. also he’s 6′4

isaac in attempting to lunge up to help joel close the vents leaking carbon monoxide, rolled so badly he concussed himself and passed the fuck out. he literally tripped over NOTHING

joel keeled over like a wuss after performing inpromptu “chicken” surgery and isaac had to slap him silly around the face THREE different times before waking him up

isaac calls the bible the BIBBLE and makes a mortal enemy of joel

joel attempts to introduce himself to schuyler who is profoundly deaf and doesnt realize hes trying to speak to his fucking side. he makes an embarrassment out of himself

joel drinks neon pink teenage girl nightmare drank from starbucks after fangirling over archie

archie pats joel on the shoulder only to realize with adamant horror that hes shirtless, having used his tanktop to bind together a DIY stretcher for isaac, and hurriedly hides him in their fleece jacket. joel almost cries

isaac cannot identify a single bird species. all is bird

bowman, super secret informant and contentious ??? nemesis ??? frenemy ??? to archie shows up solely to say F TO PAY RESPECTS

toby checks his little cellphone for cat notif games and DISGUSTEDLY saves all of their lives after a cryptic message. hes so mad its not neko atsume games

after joel breaking a wall into bits using his metal manipulation but disguising it as super strength by hitting it, isaac has the following realization:

[survivor-guyana]

Episode 8 - "One of the best moves in the history of this series." - Devon

I'M FREE OF THE PURPLE SQUIRREL MAN !!!! Mitchell you were great, but i couldn't let you stay in the game when i knew you were after me <3 at least you made jury though so that's good :) ALSO FUC FUCKF FUCK FUFKC FUCK WE MADE JURYYYYYYYYYY I'M GONNA PEE MY ACTUAL PANTS now all i have to do is make single digits and i'll be satisfied. but then after that,,, it's winning :$ also alyssa and jess are a v obvious f2 they aren't even hiding it anymore wowowow

So I’m already starting to plan how I can go about this next round. I think I would need to go after Sammy next. We don’t have as much of a connection as I thought we did, he is closer to Jones and Alyssa than I am, and this helps me get back into the middle like I need/want to be. I regain the trust of Aidan and Dani, and probably could gain a stronger connection with Devon and Jess (if they’d be open to this vote).

so,,, Jess keeps saying stuff,,, and it's making me uncomfortable,,,,,,??? IT'S NOT LIKE SHE'S BEING CREEPY OR ANYTHIGN AT ALL but,, she's saying stuff that's like,, freaking me out about my game? she basically told me and Maynor over call that everyone on the first swap tribe Hosororo made a video that I SHOULD WIN THE GAME??? like,, k AND THEN!! then,,, then,,, she says that everyone thinks i'm really cool? like "oh yeah i'm okay with Jones!!" LIKE??? wow??? like,, that's a good position,, but also i have to be super slick from now on yk? so yay! love being stressed the fuck out lkdsjafldskfj also,, i have a bad feeling we might have an unmerge. it's like,, a stretch, but we merged so early?? F13 merge is wildt kdsafldksaf idk what to expect just know i'm probs gonna get voted out next lskajdfaldkjf

So, without having to do too much extra work, people also saw the same thing as me and want to get Sammy out; awesome. But now I have to find a way to make sure that it comes into fruition. There's a line between keeping this secret but also building those connections that come with blindsiding someone with someone else... Like can I trust Tim not to go back and tell Sammy? I think I can, but there's a risk in telling another person.

I'm telling you right now, there is no one in the game playing with fire more than me.

1. I made 5 different fake idol charts in the fans vs favs stage to gain trust 2. I jumped ship on the fans and committed to Sammy, Chelsea, and Alyssa after the swap 3. I'm pinning the whole entire cast against one another and taking out the biggest threat in Sammy.

If I can successfully get Aidan to flush his advantage and knock out Sammy, this could go down as one of the best moves in the history of this series. It would be a true tale of going from the top to the bottom in one single round.

I won a challenge *Happy dance* Fuck social challenges *still dancing* Not here to make friends *still dancing* Fuck you Mitchell

hahah, right okay so a confession.... I was super stressed with this the BUZZ challenge really but like, I cleaned my room and still went to play DnD and still one. Extra bonus of the night, I didn't die and my character leveled up. yay's all around.  

THE GAME IS A FOOT!

Things are really happening strategically now and after being on the wrong side of the vote last week I want to be very intentional about every move that I make going forward. Right now there are a few names bouncing around but mainly Dani and Sammy in retaliation.

I don't know why this Sammy/Chelsea/JD/Jonesy or whatever faction is all voting one way but they're all boring so whatever. Apparently JD has Maynor on her ass and a lot of people are sniffing Jonesy' boring ass pussy juice for whatever reason. The game is sort of divided right now and it's weird... and there's currently a plan in place to divert a few votes onto Chelsea to skew idol suspicion and avoid a deadlock. Imagine we pulled a 6-5-1 or 6-4-2 or something?

I really don't want Dani to leave because she's somebody I need in this game but it just seems like the boring bitches want to go after my friends and I'm trying to fake it til I make it with them but it's not working?

***FUN FACT I WROTE HALF OF THIS CONFESSIONAL ON SATURDAY BEFORE I FOUND OUT ABOUT SNAKE.. I MEAN SAMMY****

So JD winning immunity was LITERALLY worst case scenario for me. They say don't meet your heroes because you'll be disappointed well... that's how I feel about JD.

I'm really scared I'm not going to make it out of this round alive. I just hope if there's a push for me to go I can play my idol correctly and not leave this game looking like an idiot because I didn't play an idol I had.

Hypothetically speaking..... maybe I can see votes going down like this?

People that would POTENTIALLY vote for me? 1. Sammy 2. Chelsea 3. Tim 4. JD

I really wanted a favourite to go this round too so I'm super disappointed. I kind of want to push for TIM to go now because out of all of the people left aside from JD I talk to him the least. HOWEVER, I don't want to be "Mitchell'd" so I'm just going to keep my mouth shut and hope for the best.

plot twist.

Apparently I'm a COMP BEAST? ME? JESS? BEING TARGETED FOR BEING A COMP BEAST? I C-A-N-N-O-T.

I'm being targeted because people are scared of someone with an ACTUAL PERSONALITY.

What ended up happening was: Devon called myself/Alyssa and spilled all of the tea about Sammy targeting us. This was HUGE of Devon so I hope he's not lying. What kind of sketched me out during that call was Alyssa seemed kind of relieved that they switched from her to me when I was generally SHOOK about them targeting her too? So that was something? I'm not gonna look to into it though lmfao. Devon not telling us for a couple of days is amood though. That kind of is a giant red flag.

Jones hasn't told Alyssa about that alliance which I personally find WEIRD. I thought Jones and Alyssa were confirmed final 2. Maybe this will cause some doubt OR maybe Jones already told Alyssa and she's lying. I have no idea at this point.

My plan for this round was to get Dani to throw out Chelsea's name as her counter. That way if Sammy or any of them have an idol they'll waste it on Chelsea while we target Sammy. We need to throw off his scent.

I typed a long ass answer and lost it so FUCK you Johnny but honestly this round is a mess and everybody is lying and talking shit

I’m,,, worried. So I lost immunity, right? I got 3rd place behind Maynor and JD. BUT like,,,,,,,,,,, SURE I’m feeling mostly covered, and SURe we have the numbers for Dani,, but what if Dani or Aidan have an idol? Like we know aidan has a vote steal that’s pretty obvious,, but like,,, what if yk? I’m super fucking scared. I know I said I don’t WANt to have immunity,,,, but now I want immunity AJSKNDJD but ummm yeah :( I’m ooky spookied. I have a really bad feeling, but hopefully everything works out.

So Aidan wouldn't reveal his advantage which sucks but I'm working on gaining trust with him.

Pretty sure I’m going home so that’s fun..but Sammy might go home for being too chaotic. Idk djdjdjdjd. I really enjoyed playing though

So, once again I am potentially on the chopping block and I don't understand why. My squad is voting for Dani but I'm over people wanting me out. ughhhhh. I am normally a very likable person and those 5 votes I got last tribal were the most I have ever received in a game. I'm a decent player, but not really a threat so idk why people just want to vote me. Anywho, I am hoping my squad of people can save me yet again (gross, I don't want to be in the position where people have to save me) and people stop trying to come for me.

Tonights vote is going to be very interesting. Its Dani vs Sammy. I hope Sammy goes because he doesnt trust me and he wants me gone. I hpe nothing crazy happens and he goes. Dani and I got back to talking and everything was smoothed over so thats good.