#but A might be a little too invested in that and therefore not seeing the weaknesses

[nerdierholler]

So I feel like I've been a little harsh on one A du Mortain lately. Still not loving that end of book 3 thing they did. Bad idea. Not actually in the MCs best interest. HOWEVER, I can see some of the mental gymnastics going on here (especially with Adam and Ethan, YMMV).

They are starry eyed. Yes, yes they need to constantly remind the MC that they're a squishy slow healing human but the MC also set their heart aflame in a way no one ever has. They need the MC to be strong to survive what this line of work entails. Ideally both physically and mentally but, squishy human, so mentally will have to do. The MC has had so much going on and so far they seem to be doing okay (the books never really let the MC completely fall apart) so it's easy for A to project that or look for all those confirmation biases even when the MC isn't at their best. It's wish fulfillment that creates a blind spot for A.

They need to convince themselves they did the right thing. To some extent A believes, or tries to convince themselves, that emotions like those for the MC are a weakness or dangerous. Only bad things can happen if they go down that road. A knows they're hurting the MC but they hope that hurt is temporary. If the MC is strong, stronger than A, then they'll get over the rejection. They'll pull themselves up by the bootstraps, see things like A does, and they'll have a professional relationship that's not more dangerous than necessary in this line of work. Of course this isn't actually the case but A emotionally really needs the MC to have that strength so again there will be a confirmation bias, especially if the MC is trying to pretend everything is alright when it isn't.

In a nutshell, both before and after the end of book 3, A has blinders on. Either they're so enamored (while telling themselves that they aren't) with the MC that they don't see the cracks forming or, in order to make peace with their choice regarding not pursuing a relationship, A needs the MC to be ok in order for A to feel better about that decision.

I don't think either thing is intentional. I think it has more to do with A being in uncharted territory emotionally and trying to rationalize a way out of it where what they really need to do spend more time looking at and learning about their feelings.

[loveemagicpeace]

🍓The Ascendant & Descendant 🍓

Aries rising with Libra Descendant- your personality is strong and energetic. Everything you do, you do with passion. You are led by Mars, and therefore you can often be quick-tempered and do things without thinking. You know how to put your needs before others. You can be selfish when it comes to your own needs. You take care of yourself by playing sports, doing various adrenaline-filled things. You are very passionate, competitive. Your energy can always be felt on the outside and you are not afraid to show your emotions and anger. You are brave and often take risks. You go into things without thinking too much about them, you just go and see how it goes.

Libra Descendant- in relationships they can be flirty, you may find it hard to stop because you can also be very picky when it comes to relationships. The right person for you is the one who can balance you, give you harmony and support. It means that you seek a partner who is brave enough to desire partnership, despite knowing how vulnerable emotional commitment can make you. It's wanting someone unafraid to love love. Your ideal partner is elegant and graceful. They accept that you need a lot of space and independence is important to you. You are an active person by nature, and you need someone who teaches you balance but also supports you in your ventures. In the relationship, it is probably you who makes the most decisions. You are a leader, and you get along the best with someone who prefers to be led.

Taurus rising with Scorpio Descendant- your personality is calm, stalin, grounded. You only give your energy to those who really deserve it. You can do many things yourself. I noticed that taurus rising people are very independent people, that they can be themselves no matter what. You invest a lot in material things. You like good food, watching TV, going to the cinema, listening to music, sleeping, lounging. You take things slowly and don't like too much change.

Scorpio Descendant- in relationships, you like privacy, you like that someone is only yours. You don't like to enter into a relationship if you see that it is not on the same level. In relationships, you can be very possessive, deep, persistent. Scorpio descendant, you naturally gravitate towards intense, transformative partnerships and may face power struggles or hidden dynamics.The descendant in Scorpio indicates that you are unconsciously attracted to people who stir up your everyday life, and who are magical in some way.They can be either be quite dramatic themselves or dramatic things happen to them/around them, but they for sure push you out of your comfort zone. If this energy is not properly integrated, your partner can turn your life upside down. Extreme situations are not uncommon when Scorpio is involved.Your partner is the most familiar with this side of you.

Gemini rising with Sagittarius Descendant- your personality is very open (you can start a conversation with anyone). Communication is part of you and you like people who are communicative and especially people who are interesting. You have a very changeable personality and you can change a lot in yourself and around you. Although you don't change your appearance that much, but when you do, it really makes a big difference. As a person who is willing to listen but prefers to talk. Sometimes you can say things that may not be appropriate because your mind is so fast that you don't even realize what you are saying. With Gemini on the Ascendant, you may lack a deep need to find answers to life’s big questions. It’s not that the concept of “truth” is not important to you, you just choose to spend your precious time on other endeavours, and may take things more at face value.  

Sagittarius Descendant-in relationships you like to explore and you like independence. You are attracted to people who are educated, intelligent, interesting. You can sometimes be a little unstable and take a new step too quickly. You might be deeply attracted to love relationships with a partner who has a background quite different from your own, either culturally or with lifestyle beliefs. These differences can stimulate and inspire you. You can be too optimistic about others. When under pressure, you can get stuck in your own little world, and you can’t find the solution without stepping back and taking a look at the bigger picture. You want a partner who is funny, fiery, likes to travel, likes different things.

Cancer rising with Capricorn Descendant- your personality is private, moody, emotional. You perceive many things through emotions, and you can also have many needs..You are very sweet , showing a willingness to extend their arms wide for a person in need. They provide a certain type of warmth that puts people at ease, even to their casual acquaintances. While they might come across as reserved, shy, or cautious when meeting new people, Cancer risings are warm and friendly once they feel comfortable. While Cancer risings can appear quiet and reserved on the surface, they are extremely motivated and driven when it comes to creating security for themselves or their loved ones. This ascendant has an inherent craving for financial safety, driving them to work diligently toward achieving their goals. They naturally tap into their intuition in terms of what move they should make next or what decision is financially sound. You are open and act as a person very open to conversation. You tend not to show your tender or shy side in front of others. But you don't really like meeting new people or going to parties.

Capricorn Descendant-in relationships you can be strict, serious, relentless and also stubborn. Many of your relationships can be based on business. You can have a business or a company with your spouse, and your spouse can be the one who helps you with this. Many times it can be a relationship based on business and benefits. A relationship seems meaningful to you if there is some benefit from it. In relationships, you can often be cold, distant, alienated, and the relationship can suffer because of this. Your career can be important to you and you like to have reputation and recognition. You like your spouse to be good for society. Capricorn suggests that you often find yourself attracted to people with strong Saturnian energy. They teach yo how to be mature, take responsibility, be patient and focus on long-term goals. marriage is also usually karmic. However, your standards are quite high, and if someone doesn’t live up to them, you know that there is no point in settling for them. You rather wait for someone who can be a good partner. Family life is important to you. As a Cancer rising, you probably want to start a family at some point in your life. They might be emotionally unavailable too. In other cases, they are unconsciously attracted to others who behave this way. It can also happen that you get married and then get divorced.

Leo Rising with Aquarius Descendant- your personality is proud, strong, determined. You know what you want and you do it. You like to have fun in your own way and usually always find your fun in yourself and in things that involve you. You like to dress well and usually also like to stand out. You like extra things. You tend to be confident. People see you as a charming person and a person who always shines in everything. You can be popular among people. Leo risings seek others who can appreciate their need for admiration and share their zest for life. Leos also have an optimistic and open outlook on friendships and social connections. They can chat with anyone and have acquaintances all over the world. They do keep a group of what they would consider close friends, and they’re loyal to those connections.

Aquarius Descendant- in relationships you can be quite free and seek independence. You don't like to depend on someone, and you especially don't like pressure. You are attracted to people who are independent, different, interesting, have many friends or someone who has a large circle of people. You like someone you can hang out with at various events and introduce to your friends. Common interests and hobbies are important to these two. When Aquarian Descendants are married or in long-term partnerships, they want to know, for no rational reason, the whereabouts and activities of their partner. You are joyful, optimistic person. People with this placement tend to radiate with warm energy that attracts other to them. You like to be in a relationship with someone whose views are similar. You prefer smart, entertaining, interesting partners. They have to surprise you and show you things from a fresh perspective. You tend to see your partner as your friend rather have very romantic feelings for them. The descendant sign Aquarius can indicate marriage with someone who is divorced.

Virgo rising with Pisces Descendant- People may perceive Virgo risings as being dedicated to maintaining a sense of calm and willing to do whatever it takes to stay organized to avoid disorder and chaos. You do everything skillfully with a fine sense of craftsmanship and precision, perfectionism, care and attention to detail. You are keenly observant and have an acute sensitivity to each and every thing in your environment; therefore, you attend to small things that others do not readily notice, the subtleties, the fine points. You fulfill your soul function through service, assisting and helping others, perhaps in a rather humble, understated, unglamorous way, and doing a job for its own sake rather than for personal recognition or glory. When out of balance, you criticize, worry, obsess about yourself and/or your health or body, and tend to magnify problems.

Pisces Descendant-suggests that you have a lot of experience with order but haven’t dealt with chaos frequently. You tend to choose partners who inspire you to transcend reality. They show you that there is more to life than what meets the eye. The descendant in Pisces suggests that your partner is often involved with spirituality, art, music, they are compassionate and selfless. They encourage you to discover your intuition. Your partner can be detached from reality and have weak boundaries. You can also see them as too emotional, sensitive, easy to hurt. You can find their behavior irrational which upsets you if you have not recognized the descendant in Pisces in yourself yet. Unconsciously being attracted to delusional people can also happen. The descendant in Pisces suggests that you show your partner how to be more efficient and grounded. It comes naturally to you to take care of others. You are there for your partner when they need practical help.

Libra Rising with Aries Descendant- your personality is kind, sympathetic, harmonious. You can quickly get along with people because they find you a friendly person. You can do much more for others than for yourself. Sometimes you can forget yourself for others. In a way, you can also sacrifice a lot for others. You like fashion and you like to dress well. You can also be very indecisive, which can also be a little annoying to others. You like peace and don't like conflict. Libra Risings were born with a naturally charming dreamer. With age, they only learn to fine-tune their allure. When it comes to the art of flirting, these seducers are very aware of how to speak to the senses. But you are usually always inclined to want a relationship or some kind a thing with someone. Also can be hard for you to find yourself.

Aries Descendant-Aries suggests that you are attracted to partners who are courageous, outgoing, enthusiastic, passionate, bold, impulsive. They swipe you off your feet their self-confidence and directness. You need a partner who can balance out you and who is a go-getter and an action taker. You are usually attracted to dynamic personalities. Your ideal partner is passionate, enthusiastic, fiery. In the long run, you get along the best with someone who is rather energetic and who doesn’t overthink just takes action. Aries in 7th house suggests that you need someone else to borrow you courage. Your partner can inspire you and teach you to be bold. They often say what is on their mind, without thinking twice if they will offend someone. They are brutally honest. Your partner can be impulsive and impatient, what takes effort to get used to for you. You can perceive your partner as selfish and egoistic sometimes. There can be a tendency to project the traits of Aries onto other people.

Scorpio Rising with Taurus Descendant- your personality is strong, intense, deep and passionate. You always fight deeply for the things you want to have and achieve. You have a stronger sexual drive, so sex in itself is important to you. You like to be familiar and you are not afraid to show your body to others. Usually, these people are very satisfied with their bodies. You are a demanding person and you only give yourself to people if you trust them, which is also one of the important things in your life. That people trust you and tell you their secrets. As a person who is more reserved and does not like to have conversations with people who do not suit you. You are an intense and passionate person, perhaps too much for some people to handle

Taurus Descendant-.You may impulsively jump into one relationship after another and eventually settle into an enduring and stable one. The descendant in Taurus indicates that you are used to crisis and drama, and you are attracted to people who promise you peace and comfort. However, you don’t trust people immediately and you are reserved. A Taurus descendant suggests that your partnerships are meant to bring peace and joy. Your ideal partner is grounded and practical, they don’t let strong emotions influence them. In your relationships, you seek stability.Your long-term relationships work out the best if your partner can be a firm ground in your life you can build on. Trust is not easy for you. You are drawn to the mysterious side of existence, and you need a partner who will help you stay realistic and practical. It takes time for you to let someone close. You need stability in a relationship, someone who you can count on and who will reciprocate your commitment. Your ideal partner is receptive to the beauty present in the world. They are usually artistic and they appreciate the finer things in life. The 7th house in Taurus indicates that your partner is a hedonist and sensual. Sexuality is an important part of your marriage.

Sagittarius Rising with Gemini Descendant- your personality is optimistic, fun, independent. You like to explore and do things that make you happy. You like intelligent people, people with whom you can share a new path and who always bring you light. You are independent and like to do things on your own. You grow again and again through new experiences. You are a humorous person who likes to joke around. You're not as open as people first think. You share knowledge with others, but when it comes to privacy, you don't share much. You can always put others in a good mood and give them motivation. Your path is always bright no matter what. You are also very kind to others.

Gemini Descendant-communication is very important in this regard. The person may have good thinking and may listen to you. Also suggests that you are attracted to people who radiate with the energy of the Twins. (and perhaps you are intimidated by them at the same time).The descendant in Gemini indicates that your ideal relationship is based on intellectual connection. You are attracted to people who are witty, smart, great conversationalists. You are usually interested in air signs in general. Mental connection is more important to you than emotions in the long run. You need a partner to point them out and show you what you need to pay attention to. You learn a lot from your relationships with others. You also teach your partner, for you, relationships that support growth are the best. People with this placement enter relationships out of curiosity. They want to explore what it means to be in a union. This can indicate more than one committed long-term relationships or marriages.

Capricorn Rising with Cancer Descendant-your personality is very strong (many times people perceive your energy just by your silence - you can say more with silence than with words). You have courage and always know what you are doing. You have no mercy for people who hurt you and once you lose respect for someone you become very rude to that person and they are like trash to you. Respect and loyalty are very important to you. If you give and invest energy in someone, then you expect the same in return. You don't like to wander if you feel that it will just be a waste of time. You always stand proud and tall and aware of your worth. You don't judge others and you are very understandable to yourself. But you have rules that people can follow. When you really love someone then there are no limits here and you would do a lot for the person. You are not interested in others and you always know how to look after yourself.

Cancer Descendant-you seek partners who can give you the nurturing and emotional security you needed as a child. The descendant in Cancer indicates that your ideal partner has high emotional intelligence, they are warm and supportive, and they give you an emotional background. In some cases, you want a partner who is a homemaker. In your relationships, you feel that you can finally show your sensitive side. You are caring and protective of your partner. The descendant in Cancer suggests that you can experience the emotional security to be vulnerable in your close relationships and marriage. Your ideal partner helps you connect with your emotional side and encourages you to listen to your intuition every now and then. Ideally, your partner looks after you and they support you. You come across as reserved and serious, and other people who have warmer energy balance you out.

Aquarius Rising with Leo Descendant- your personality is different from others, maybe sometimes you feel like you don't belong with other people or you simply do the opposite of what others do. You are rebellious and do things the way you think is right. Maybe you can seem less approachable and more distant to people. You embody an intriguing blend of open-mindedness and progressiveness, all while maintaining an unemotional composure that can sometimes come across as aloofness. You may be forward thinker with opinions, but you are fixed, rigid nature can also come across as stubborn and dogmatic, if you are not careful. U are a very independent and freedom-loving person. You appear a bit unconventional and shy, but you have amazing ideas and you are smart. However, it can be hard for you to get support from others. The need for freedom of Aquarius can be challenging when it comes to relationships-you want to be attached and detached at the same time.

Leo Descendant-in a relationship you are looking for fun, openness, playfulness. You want a relationship where you can be seen. You learn to express yourself with warmth and genuine appreciation of others. This helps you connect with others more easily, and improves your relationships as well. It is one of the most important lessons of the descendant in Leo. For a long-term relationship to work out, your partner must recognize your need for independence and respect your boundaries. They have to understand that you need a lot of space in a relationship. You are not the right partner for clingy people with your descendant in Leo and ascendant in Aquarius. Your ideal partner also has to respect your need for making things better. Aquarius is all about rebellion and revolution. You are looking at old structures from a new perspective and wonder about topics like social equality and creating better systems. If your partner doesn’t understand the way your brain works, you sooner or later feel that you have to get out of the relationship. You expect to be the one and only in their life and you are not willing to put up with anything less than being treated as a royalty. Giving each other enough relationship is key in your close-relationships. Your ideal partner is a born leader. They are courageous, fun-loving, gregarious, enjoy attention. You possess these traits as well, but it takes time for you to discover them in yourself. Many people with their descendant in Leo enjoy being in the center of attention later in life. The seventh house in Leo indicates that you love being in the public eye.

Pisces Rising with Virgo Descendant- your personality is very dreamy and spiritual. You have a lot of compassion for others and you feel many things around you in a deep way. You can be in your subconscious most of the time. You can be hard to figure out because of the mysterious energy you give off. You can feel a lot of energies around you that are difficult to describe. Pisces Risings have a light aura and carry a pocket full of magic dust in their back pocket. The world can be difficult, but Pisces Risings know that creative joy can help them rise above. These folks have lived a life that requires extensive thought, and often they face experiences that are more than meets the eye. Pisces Risings have accepted that in many ways, life is what you make it—which is why they don’t hesitate to let the good times roll.

Virgo Descendant-You need someone to give you a shape in which you can exist in the physical world. People often perceive you as idealistic, gentle, soft-hearted, and they can feel that they have to protect you.You are attracted to people who are analytical, logical, intelligent, pay attention to the details. You hold the vision and your partner makes the plan and then executes it. In your ideal relationship, you help your partner connect with their soul and intuition, and they teach you how to be more practical and be better at things like running errands, preparing healthy food, time management, organization, taking care of yourself. In the relationship, you come up with an idea and your partner plans the details. One of the things you need to watch out for is giving up yourself for your partner. Pisces is soft, compassionate, and it is prone to people-pleasing. Unless there are some placements in your chart that make you more assertive, you can give in too easily and prioritize the needs of your partner even if it doesn’t feel right. Your intuition is probably strong as a Pisces rising, make sure you listen to it.

🎸For personal readings u can sign up here: https://snipfeed.co/bekylibra 🎸

-Rebekah🪐🍓✨

[itskirtash]

as someone who's been invested in f1 for less than a month (therefore, doesnt know everyone that well) , this is how I see (physically and/or character wise) the drivers that are currently competing. let's see if someone guesses who is who ^^ (some might be a little bit too niche)

(I've included both colapinto and sargeant)

[imaginespazzi]

Part 1: Don't Be A Stranger

Masterlist - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7

But if (my) world was ending, you'd come over right?

(In which UCLA anon's roman empire became this writer's roman empire and we've finally reached the beginning)

Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd

Themes: Angst, Pining, Hurt/Comfort and a little bit of Fluff

Words: 8.4 K (other parts will be shorter....maybe)

TW: Swearing, Alcohol, Injuries, Alludes to Sexual Content

A/N: Hello my lovelies <3 Gonna keep this as short and sweet as possible but we've finally, finally gotten to the UCLA fic. A huge shout out to UCLA anon, because this is their master idea. Couple of things, I've never been to LA or UCLA and therefore some things are out of whack. The timeline is also a little out of whack but I swear I will try to keep it as consistent as possible. In the mean time, just ignore some of the inconsistencies pretty please. As always, feel free to let me know what's bad, what's good and what else you'd like to see. I hope y'all enjoy this first part and let's get another W today!

August 2021

where are you 

i literally have to be at the airport in an hour paige where are you 

dude 

are you on your way?

you better be driving and that’s why you’re not answering 

PAIGE

i’m sorry about last night i shouldn’t have said that 

but you said a lot of shit too so call it even?

this isn’t funny where are you?

i have to leave in 15 mins 

are you actually not coming?

wtf????

this is actually bullshit

get over yourself bueckers 

wow 

fuck you

just landed 

thought you might like to know 

sorry my plane didn’t crash i guess 

September 2021

dude enough okay 

can you just call me back??

i just wanna talk 

i know you're mad i get it but i miss you   

November 2021 

hi i’mma be in dc over christmas

nvm 

idk why i’m trying again  

maybe i should block you 

this is kinda pathetic of me what the fuck 

December 2021

i thought i saw you today but idk

couldn’t have been you cause if it was 

would you really not even say hi?

i’m done trying paige 

merry christmas i guess

March 2022 

i misz you 

lyke a wot

love uuuuu pppppp

even if ur a bwtich 

pkese pick up 

ignore that 

people drunk text exes apparently i drunk text you 

wait 

i don’t need to tell you that 

you already ignore it all anyways

 

August 2022 

i heard about the acl 

i’m sorry 

idk if it means anything, but if you wanna talk

nvm 

***

September 2022 

When the doorbell rings, on a quiet Thursday afternoon during a rare moment of alone time, Paige expects it to be a lot of people. One of her parents deciding that they actually weren’t going to leave her alone. Someone else in her family showing up out of the blue to provide comfort. Maybe one of her teammates popping up to keep her entertained. She even thinks it might be some random fan who got too invested and figured out the address for her air BnB. It’s the saddest testament to how broken they are, that the idea of it being Azzi Fudd standing outside her door, never once crosses her mind. But there she is, when Paige opens the door, dressed in ripped jean shorts and a light blue tank top, the girl that had been her best friend, and maybe a little bit more. 

Silence stretches between them as Azzi fidgets with her hands and Paige continues to stoically stare at her. It’s been almost a year since they’ve seen each other, even longer since they’d last shared a happy smile. And you’d have to go back to before she’d told her about her future plans, to find the last time Azzi had properly looked Paige in the eyes.  

“Hi,” Azzi says finally, mustering up a small smile. Paige doesn’t know if hearing that voice, soft and subdued but still so familiar, fixes a crack or breaks her heart even further. She wills herself to be polite in response, to match Azzi’s polite greeting with a greeting of her own. But there’s clear discord between her mouth and her head, because her words are harsh and hollowed. 

“What are you doing here?”

Azzi swallows, smile disappearing as she immediately digs her fingernails into her palms and Paige feels the guilt settle into her stomach. It’s like the night before all over again. If she closes her eyes, Paige can still hear her voice loudly echoing in Azzi’s childhood bedroom. She can hear the angry words that she’d hurled at her best friend, each one like a well-aimed arrow piercing the other’s girl's heart and tearing into Paige’s own soul. Some would call what she’d done self-preservation. She’d call it her biggest mistake. 

“I um-,” Azzi sucks in her bottom lip, “I was in the area and thought, maybe I’d check in.”

“How did you even know where I was?” Paige hates how cold and accusatory her voice sounds. It’s a version of herself she doesn’t quite know how to deal with, one that hasn’t ever appeared for anyone other than the girl in front of her, “I know I didn’t tell you.”

Any semblance of calm is gone from Azzi’s face, as she seems to realise that she’s not going to be getting any cordiality from her old friend. 

 “And we’re off to a great start,” she mutters under her breath before replying to Paige’s exact question, “no you didn’t. Your dad-”

“You talked to my dad?”

“Yeah. I mean you know Drew looks up to Jon and José so much and they still talk and stuff and he came over- Drew I mean- and then your dad was there and we just got to talking and you came up and yeah. He told me and well I live here, kinda, so I thought- well I thought maybe you’d like some company?”

As Azzi’s rambling explanation comes to an end, Paige doesn’t miss the tinge of hopefulness in her voice at the last bit. The younger girl shuffles her feet, as she stares at the blonde expectantly. 

“I don’t-” Paige struggles to draw in a breath as the voices in her head argue, “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

Her words are met with silence as Azzi stares at her blankly. 

“I- you,” she blinks rapidly, clearly at a loss for what to say at the blatant rejection, “I can’t come in?”

“It’s just- I’ve had a lot of people visit you know,” Paige bullshits, suddenly feeling very exhausted, “and my family were here a couple days and my friends are coming soon and-”

“And I’m neither of those things,” Azzi says, her tone low and breathy. 

“That’s not what-”

“It is,” Azzi closes her eyes for a brief second, when she opens them, the flash of hurt in them feels like a dagger through Paige’s chest, “it is like that and it is what you meant and it’s- it’s fine.”

“Az-” Paige chokes out, feeling her lungs collapse when the other girl moves to leave, “please,” and she’s not even sure she’s asking for, but it’s not this. It’s never been this.

Azzi stops and when she turns back around, there’s a determined look on her face.

“I just-” she rubs her face, composing herself before focusing her eyes on Paige, “you’re the strongest person I know. And you’re going to come back from this, better than ever. I know it. The whole world knows it. Because you’re Paige Bueckers. You’re something else.  You’re the hardest worker, you’re just- you’re the best.”

“You don’t-”

“Just- just let me finish okay and then, then I’ll go or whatever but Paige, you’re all of those things you know? Strong, brave, the best fucking player- but, it’s also okay if sometimes-, if sometimes you aren’t. It’s okay because this- this is hard, I know it is. So if sometimes you’re not strong or-, or brave- or not feeling like working hard- it’s okay. And if there are moments where you- where you want to give up, that’s okay too. It doesn’t make you- it doesn’t make you any less than what you are. It just makes you human, and it’s okay you know- to be human. It’s okay if- if you hurt and it’s okay if you’re not okay. It’s- it’s okay.”

The two girls stare at each other, eyes shining with tears, as Paige let’s Azzi’s words wash over her. She’s been told a lot of platitudes about her injury, from her coaches to her teammates to her family. And she knows she has plenty of people in her corner, who root for her and who genuinely do believe she’ll have the greatest comeback ever. But the motivational speeches get draining after a while and all she’s wanted to do for the last couple of weeks is wallow. Then she felt guilty about wallowing, that little voice in her head yelling at her to be productive and work on getting back to herself because that’s what everybody expected. Paige hadn’t even realised how badly she needed someone to give her permission to not be okay, not until the only person who’d ever known that part of her, had finally said the words she so desperately needed to hear.

The thing is, when she was younger, Paige used to keep everything bottled inside. She’d always been hyper aware of her privilege and her problems had always just seemed so insignificant in front of her parents’ or her friends. So she’d kept them to herself, trapping herself in a web of her own burdens that sometimes threatened to strangle her. And then she’d met a girl at a USA basketball camp when she was 15, a girl who had gently flicked her fingers and Paige’s walls had fallen like dominoes. She hadn’t even known she was drowning, until Azzi had shown up with a lifeboat.

“I just-,” Azzi breaks Paige out of her trance by breaking the eye contact between them, “I didn’t know if anybody had said that to you yet and I just- I wanted you to hear it.”

In the span of a minute, a thousand and one phrases take birth in Paige’s mind and then die on the tip of her tongue. She opens and closes her mouth, trying to express even one of the myriad of emotions that are swirling like a tornado in her brain. But nothing comes out except a litany of incomprehensible noises. And Azzi seems to find the wrong answer in the silence, giving the blonde a timid nod. 

“Take care of yourself P,” her voice catches on the familiar nickname, as she shoots Paige a sad smile, before beginning to walk away. When Azzi chose UCLA, she’d lit Paige's heart on fire. So, Paige had drowned their friendship. And while all this time Azzi has struggled to breathe, Paige has burned but god, is she so fucking tired of it. 

“Fuck, Azzi wait,” Paige curses, hobbling to catch up to the brunette, who stops with a sigh but doesn’t make a move to return. Stubborn as always, Paige thinks, continuing her way over. When she does catch up, she’s not fully sure what to say and so,  “I uh- I’m out of milk.”

Azzi raises her eyebrows in question, crossing her arms protectively around her chest. 

“I can’t drive,” Paige explains slowly, “or walk obviously.”

Realisation dawns on Azzi’s face, “you’re asking me to drive you to the grocery store?”

“I guess,” Paige shrugs, trying to be nonchalant. 

“Seems like the kind of favour someone asks of their family, or their friends,” Azzi emphasises bitterly, never one to let go of an opportunity for sarcasm. 

Paige flinches, “right, I kinda deserved that one.”

She gets a raised eyebrow in response that very much says “ya think?”

“I’m trying here,” she says quietly, and Azzi’s hard demeanour softens, “I’m raising a white flag Az, calling a truce or whatever but it kinda needs to go both ways.” 

“What do you think me coming here was supposed to be?” the younger girl says exasperatedly, but she’s smiling again. It’s the third one Paige has gotten out of her today, and finally, she smiles back. They look a little foolish, standing in the apartment hallway, cheshire-cat-grinning at each other like idiots, but it feels like something has clicked into place again.  

“I’ll go grab my wallet, you go heat up the car.”

“It’s like 110 degrees dude.”

“Bro shut up, you know what I mean,” Paige huffs and when it makes Azzi laugh, she feels like she’s floating. It’s not as if she hasn’t been happy in a year because won’t you look at that, her world did keep turning after that one decision. But this is different. She feels airy and light, like she could jump off a cliff and fly instead of fall. 

“Well hurry up, I have things to do outside of just being your chauffeur.”

“Poor passenger princess, how the roles have reversed,” Paige mocks and it earns her an ever so familiar fond eye roll and for the first time in a year, she feels free. 

***

When she gets downstairs, Azzi’s leaning against her car door, a pair of sunglasses shielding her eyes. The hot California sun shines brightly against her tan skin, and Paige’s heart stutters because fuck, Azzi is golden. She looks every bit reminiscent of the girl Paige still has memorised and yet, every bit the promise of a girl Paige wants to learn by heart. 

“Nice car,” Paige smirks, alerting the younger girl of her presence.  

“It does the job,” Azzi says, looking up with a smile of her own, opening the passenger door for Paige to get in, “not all of us are raking in NIL deals to get the big guns, but we make do.”

“Steph Curry brand ambassador say what now?” the blonde girl teases as she slides into the car. When she looks up, Azzi’s frozen in place, “what?”

“Nothing I just-” she’s wearing sunglasses, but Paige knows Azzi's trying to avert her gaze, “I’m kinda surprised you know that.”

It’s Paige’s turn to look away, their newfound comfort giving away to that old awkwardness, “I keep up with most basketball news.”

To Azzi’s credit she doesn’t push. Instead, she makes her way into the driver seat without another sound. She’s about to connect her phone to the aux but Paige beats her to it. 

“Hey,” Azzi squeals, making grabby hands, “my car, my rules, my music.”

“Nuh-uh injury privileges,” Paige gloats, sticking out her tongue. 

“That’s not a thing.”

“Is too.”

“Fine, we’ll listen to your crap music.”

“I resent that,” Paige retorts, as Drake blasts through the speakers. The sound of it makes Azzi groan, and she dramatically bangs her head against the steering wheel. Paige spends the rest of the car ride singing at the top of her lungs. Azzi spends the rest of the car ride alternating between shaking her head and joining in with the singing. It’s like they’re back in 2020 all over again, back before they found themselves in the whirlwind of life, back when they were just Paige and Azzi.

*** 

Their trip inside the grocery store takes less time than the ride to get there, even if Paige takes her time dilly-dallying in the dairy section, pretending she’s going to get anything other than just regular milk. She’s overly conscious of the fact that their time together might be coming to an end, that this time she might actually have to deal with saying goodbye. But she’s not ready to go back to missing Azzi just yet. 

“Maybe you can show me your dorm,” she says quietly, once they're both back in the car, playing with the hem of her shirt. Beside her, Azzi draws in a sharp intake of breath, clearly not having expected Paige to want that of all things. In all honesty, the idea of stepping into the world that had stolen Azzi from her is not all that appealing to Paige but she wants to hold onto this moment just a little bit longer. 

“You wanna see my dorm?” 

“A chance to see how the non-blue blood peasants live? I’d never pass it up.”

“Non blue blood,” Azzi scoffs, "Ever heard of John Wooden?”

“I was talking about women’s basketball but yeah I have heard of him. I won the award last year. Over you,” Paige smirks, wiggling her eyebrows. 

“Not everyone’s a phenom their freshman year,” Azzi retorts fondly, unable to mask the hint of pride in her voice. 

“Well we’ll see this year-” Paige stops herself, cold seeping into her lungs, as she remembers why she’s in the stupid state of California in the first place. The lighthearted mood in the car goes tumbling out the window as her words hang like a dagger in the air. 

“Paige,” Azzi whispers, trying to wrap that one syllable in comfort. She reaches out to touch the blonde’s shoulder but must think better of it because her hand hovers mid-air for a second, before she pulls it back. Paige is suddenly hyper aware of the fact they haven’t touched yet. It’s a reminder of the fact that whatever progress they’ve made today, there’s still so much they haven’t even begun to unpack. 

“It’s fine,” Paige’s voice is steely, “just drive.”

Azzi opens and closes her mouth a couple of times, before simply nodding and starting the ignition. She’s clearly holding back and Paige doesn’t know how to feel about it. There’s a part of her that wants Azzi to push her to talk like she would before, but there's another part of her that knows this new rope they’re trying to string between them is fragile. 

They ride in silence to Azzi’s apartment, both of them too caught up in their own thoughts to bother with music this time. As the UCLA campus nears, Paige can’t help but hate it just a little bit. She’s aware she’s being petty. Acting like Storrs, Connecticut is some hub of beauty is probably a stretch of the imagination for anyone but she’s determined to dislike this place out of principle.

“Hmm not too shabby but like where’s the fucking cows?” Paige jokes, as the car comes to a stop in front of Azzi’s apartment building. She steps out gingerly, pretending to inspect her surroundings, making tsk-tsk noises at the most random things. 

“I’ve seen your apartment Bueckers, don’t even try,” Azzi retorts. 

It shouldn’t surprise Paige to see one of Azzi’s teammates when they enter her living room. It’s just like UConn really in the sense that there’s always someone there when you walk in but something about seeing Charisma Osborne just chilling in Azzi’s space suddenly makes it more real that the younger girl is definitely a UCLA Bruin. 

“Oh,” Charisma gives Paige a once-over, clearly not having expected to see her, “hi Paige.”

Paige waves, shuffling her weight on her crutches, unsure what to say. It’s not like she doesn’t know Charisma, they’ve literally won a gold medal together for USA basketball. She’s even met the girl a couple of times after and she likes her, she does. But her bitter brain is focused on the fact that this is one of those girls who had gotten Azzi as their teammate, one of the girls who got to see Azzi everyday. All things Paige had not gotten. 

“You didn’t tell me you were bringing company Az,” Charisma says pointedly, looking at Azzi and Paige bristles at the use of the nickname. She’s being all sorts of ridiculous but at least she’s self-aware of it. 

“Last minute decisions,” Azzi replies airily. The two girls lock eyes and Paige can tell they’re having some sort of unspoken conversation and now the green-eyed envy monster is out in full force. 

“I insisted on seeing her dorm,” she says finally, breaking into whatever staring competition the two UCLA guards are having. 

“It’s not a problem,” Charisma reassures, standing up from her position on the couch, and coming over to give Paige a tentative hug, “I just didn’t know you were coming. But it’s good to see you, Paige.”

“Yeah,” Paige tries to muster up a proper smile as she leans in to return the hug but it comes out more like a grimace, “you too.”

“We’re gonna go chill in my room,” Azzi says, beckoning to one of the doors in the hallways and Paige obediently follows her, waving a half-hearted goodbye to Charisma. She’s secretly pleased to have Azzi back to herself. 

The room is nothing out of the ordinary except it has Azzi all over it. She’s in the pink comforter that is thrown haphazardly over a clearly not made bed. She’s in the unicorn plushies laid delicately over a dark blue couch. She’s in the little flower stickers that outline the mirror on the far side of the room. There’s a wall dedicated solely to pictures and fairy lights on one side and Paige is immediately drawn to it. A familiar ache reverberates in her chest as her eyes flicker over the pictures of Azzi’s family. She’s missed them. Then there’s the photographs of Azzi in her UCLA uniform, her teammates surrounding her and Paige has to resist the dangerous urge to rip those off the wall. Be happy for her happiness, the logical part of her brain yells, not seeming to realise she’d left any chance of that in the dirt a year ago. As she tears her eyes away from those offending pictures, they land instead on a whole other set of photographs and she feels her heart catch in her throat. 

It’s a set of three images of her and Azzi, taken at various moments. Paige brushes her thumb against the one of the two of them with their arms around each other at the Minnesota  state fair. Azzi’s beaming at the camera and Paige is beaming at Azzi. They look so young, so naive, so happy. 

“I’m on your wall,” Paige breathes out, turning to face her best friend, “Fuck, I’m on you wall.”

“Of course you are,” Azzi affirms, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world but she shuffles nervously, giving away the reality behind her stable demeanour. 

“I never answered your texts. I didn’t call you back,” Paige lists quietly as the first tear falls from her eyes; she’s been holding them back all day, “and I’m on your fucking wall.”

Azzi looks away, unsure how to deal with the fact that apparently they’re no longer tip-toeing around the past. She doesn’t know how to tell the blonde that there had never really been a second thought about whether or not those photos were going up on the wall.

“Doesn’t matter,” she shrugs finally, “you’re my best friend. You’re always gonna be my best friend. Ride or die right?”

“Ride or die,” Paige repeats in a whisper before she all but throws herself at Azzi, practically moulding herself into the younger girl’s body. Caught off guard, Azzi stiffens for a second, before relaxing into it. It’s late outside and the sun has set, but in this moment, the world shines the brightest it has in a year as two stubborn girls finally find their way home to each other. 

***

That night, Azzi asks her tentatively if she wants to stay over and of course Paige agrees. Lying awake next to a familiar stranger, she lets herself finally remember the day things had first started unravelling.

November 2020

“You’ll probably get one of the upstairs apartments, so we probably won’t actually be living together which is good because can you imagine if I had to see your goofy ass 24/7?” Paige puts a dramatic hand to her forehead, as she leads Azzi into her room.

She’s too caught up in her excitement having Azzi at UConn, and planning what’ll happen next year, to notice that the girl in question isn’t participating at all in her enthusiasm. Paige has been waiting for what feels like a year (in reality it’s only been a few months) to finally have her best friend come visit. The minute the car had pulled up, she’d taken it upon herself to start her sales pitch all over again, missing the sympathetic smiles she’d gotten from the rest of the Fudd family as she pulled Azzi away to show her the glories of the campus. 

“Did you see my assist to Christyn today?” Paige gloats, falling onto her bed with a smirk. 

“It was pretty great,” Azzi concedes. 

“It was fucking perfect thank you very much. I set her up perfectly, exactly how she likes it.”

“Right.”

“And then did you see how excited the team was for her? For everyone? Never gonna find a greater group of girls.”

“They seem wonderful P.”

Paige furrows her eyebrows as she catches Azzi still lingering by the door instead of joining her on the bed. The brunette fidgets with the sleeve of her sweater, chewing on her lips.

“Are you allergic to my bed?” Paige waits for some smartass response. When she doesn’t get one, she frowns, instincts going haywire, “Az, you good?”

“I- '' Azzi looks away, swallowing nervously, “I need to tell you something and I- I’m not sure how you’re gonna react.” 

“You get a boyfriend or a girlfriend or something in the last few months that I don’t know about?” She says it light-heartedly enough, but the thought of it sends a sharp sting through Paige’s heart. In hindsight, she thinks maybe she could have dealt with it having been that. 

“What? No. Just- just don’t- dont take it personally okay. Like you can be upset about it but- but don’t hold it against me yeah? My parents- they said- they said you’d get it. You’d be upset but you’d- you’d get it because you- you get me right?”

Paige’s chest hammers as she watches the younger girl draw in a deep breath, “you’re scaring the shit out of me right now.”

“I’mcommittingtoUCLA” Azzi says all in one breath, the words blending together. 

She’s sure she’s heard it wrong. There’s no way. After all this time, after all their conversations, all the pitches, how hard she had worked, there was no way this was going to be the end to all of Paige’s efforts. 

“What?” she whispers, crossing her fingers that she has in fact misheard. 

When Azzi averts her eyes, she knows she hasn’t, “I’m committing to UCLA.”

The first time Paige and Azzi met was somewhat awkward, what with Azzi’s shyness and Paige being slightly overeager to make a new friend. When they’d become bus buddies, they’d progressed to being casual acquaintances who could small talk and share smiles. And then the flight back to Minnesota happened and everything had changed. Every moment after was filled with conversation or laughs or a comfortable silence. Until this one, where the sudden silence between them foreshadows an ominous future.

“Say something,” Azzi says finally, her voice shaking. 

Paige stares at her for a second before, “you named your dog Stewie.”

“What?”

“You named your dog Stewie. After Breanna Stewart who played at UConn. It’s not-” Paige wracks her brain, hands flying animatedly “it’s not Meyers or something, after someone who played at fucking UCLA. You named your dog after a UConn great. How are you going to take him to UCLA with you?”

Azzi stares at her, clearly not having expected that level of questioning of all things. Who could blame her when Paige herself feels a little insane. 

“This is a joke right? You’re fucking with me? Ha ha ha very funny,” she claps deliriously,  “hilarious prank seriously, like hats off you’ve outdone yourself but enough okay? Say sike right fucking now.”

Azzi makes a strangled noise, “it’s not a joke Paige. That’s- that’s my decision.”

“Then change it,” Paige yells, catapulting off the bed.

“Paige-”

“Have you told UCLA yet?”

“I wanted to tell my family and you first.”

“Oh wow, how kind of you. How fucking generous of you to do that Azzi,” Paige bites back sarcastically and Azzi flinches. 

In a flash, Paige’s expression goes from angry to desperate, “you still have time to change your mind . Please just- just think about it again okay? You still have so much time and you know what, stay here for a couple more days. Spend time with the team, with the coaches, with me and you’ll see-. UCLA just sounds nice you know? California, the sun, I get it, of course it’s tempting. But just- just stay here okay? And you’ll see this is where you belong,” she leaves the, with me, unsaid. 

“Paige,” Azzi’s voice cracks. She takes a step toward her and then pauses. It’s the first time in a long time that Azzi’s hesitated when it comes to Paige. It won’t be the last. And when she looks at Paige through her long eyelashes, tears threatening to fall from her dark brown eyes, Paige knows she’s lost. 

“No,” she’s pacing now, chest heaving up and down in a combination of frustration, anger and misery, “this is not fucking happening. We’re not doing this. I made you a whole recruitment video. Did you watch it? Do you know how long it took me to make it? Has the last year been a fucking joke to you?”

“Of course not-”

“Don’t even. Because clearly- clearly it has. Must’ve been hilarious watching me beg and plead with you when you already fucking knew you were going to committ somewhere else.”

“That’s not fair,”  Azzi’s voice rises at the accusation, “I had no idea where I was going until a couple of weeks ago. You can’t seriously think that low of me.”

“Not fair? You know what’s not fair, Azzi? We’ve been talking about playing together, about finally being on the same team, the same fucking state, for years. What’s not fair is you throwing all of that away on a whim.”

“I’m not committing to UCLA on a whim. This is my whole future we’re talking about. You don’t even know how much thought I’ve put into it. And I’m choosing what’s best for me. You can’t hold that against me Paige. You can’t.”

They stand on opposite sides of the room, taking in harsh staggered breaths and glaring at each other. The tension in the room is electric as the string connecting them frays. Paige and Azzi bicker, they don’t argue. Or at least, that’s how it used to be. 

“Az?” their stare down is broken by a knock on the door as Katie Fudd lets herself in. Immediately, as she stares between her daughter and the girl who’d become just as important, Katie knows what has happened, “we’re going back to the air BnB, are you staying here?”

The answer should be obvious, like it used to be. Of course she would stay here. It was meant to be a no-brainer. But before Azzi can say that, Paige intervenes and the string snaps. 

“She’s going with you,” the blonde says firmly, before turning her back. She won’t let Azzi see the tears, she won’t. For her part, the brunette stares at Paige’s back silently for a couple of seconds, before a mask of determination slips on. 

“Fine. If that’s what you fucking want,” Azzi sneers before brushing past her mom, eager to get away and hide her own tears. 

When Paige turns back around, Katie is already looking at her. The older woman walks the length of the room and pulls the younger girl into a hug that she readily melts into. Paige sniffles as Azzi’s mom soothingly rubs her back. 

“We’re driving back tomorrow morning,” Katie whispers quietly into Paige’s hair, “I know you’re mad sweetheart but come say goodbye okay?”

And she does. She shows up with only half an hour or so remaining before Azzi leaves, but Paige shows up. They hug stiffly, exchanging maybe a sentence or two but in that moment it’s enough. They’ll call later when Azzi gets home and it’ll be awkward for a little bit but they’ll break through. They’ll figure out a way to go on without having to talk about the “big thing”. They’ll hold on as long as they can, until they can’t anymore. 

***

September 2022

After the night Paige stays over at Azzi’s apartment, they're attached at the hip for the next few weeks, just like old times. They’ve fallen into a routine of sorts. Azzi shows up without fail every day after practice to pick Paige up from her rehab, and then the rest of the younger girl’s time is Paige’s. The first time she’d seen the brunette leaning casually against her car, Paige had had to stop herself from jumping into her arms. She’d played it as nonchalant as possible, joking about Azzi being stalker, but inside, she could feel it again, the dangerously familiar tap of this is all I’ll ever need. 

On days Paige doesn’t have rehab, Azzi still shows up right on time on her doorstep with a board game or food or something.  It’s gotten to the point where every time the doorbell rings, Paige opens it expecting Azzi. The couple times it’s not, she tries and fails to hide the disappointment on her face. It earns her an eye roll from the delivery guy but it’s worth it for the laugh it elicits from Azzi when she tells her the story. They fall back together as if they’d never fallen apart. And what’s more terrifying than finding out that she’d never truly gotten over old Azzi, is realising how easy it would be to fall in love with new Azzi. 

When Caroline, Nika and Piath come to visit the weekend after, all three of them can immediately tell that something's changed. Their teammate seems lighter, as if she’s finally found a sense of calm. But their incessant prodding and raised eyebrows are only met with shrugs from a tight-lipped Paige. It isn’t until Azzi calls, and Nika snatches the phone out of Paige’s hands, gasping at the callerID, that they finally figure out why their point guard has a new kick in her step. 

“You should invite her out with us tonight,” Caroline is the first to speak, giving Paige an encouraging smile. 

“Carol,” Nika hisses, “we can’t just invite the enemy.”

“She’s not the enemy,” Paige defends immediately, “we don’t even have a rivalry with UCLA.”

Nika scoffs indignantly, “of course she is. She picked a different school over us. Over UConn! That’s weird. Who even does that?”

“Lots of people do,” Caroline, who occasionally texts Azzi (albeit she’s kept that somewhat of a secret), supplies helpfully, shrugging when the Croatian glares at her. 

Piath nudges Paige when she notices the other girl has gone quiet, “ignore Nika. She doesn’t mean it, you know that. If you wanna invite her, invite her.” 

And she does, she wants to so badly. It’s insane really because it hasn’t even been a full day since they’d last seen each other but Paige swears something inside her has been missing since. There’s something awfully terrifying about letting Azzi back into the UConn version of her world, the world that the younger girl had once rejected. Still, if they’re going to try this again, she supposes sooner or later, it’ll have to happen. 

“Put her on speaker,” Nika orders when Paige grabs her phone back from her. 

“Nika,” Caroline, younger only by age, warns, pulling the other girl away, “we’re supposed to be cheering her up, not making life harder.”

Azzi answers on the third ring, her voice teasing  “miss me already?”

Yes, Paige thinks, sometimes I think I miss you even when you’re right here next to me, sometimes I think I’ll miss you forever. But she doesn’t say any of that. 

“Not a chance,” she scoffs instead, “besides you called me first.”

“Butt dial.”

“Mmmhmm I’m sure.”

“Shut up,” Azzi laughs and Paige is glad her teammates aren’t here to see the goofy grin that appears on her face at the sound of it, “I just wanted to see if we were doing something tonight?”

“Yeah- umm- you remember I told you about the girls coming down this weekend. They- uh- they wanted to go out tonight and uh- you could come along?” 

There’s a pause on the other end and Paige knows Azzi’s going through the same thought process as her. 

“I don’t wanna intrude on your time with your team P-”

“You wouldn’t be intruding,” Paige cuts in immediately and although she figured her teammates were definitely eavesdropping, Nika cursing about her being “pussywhipped” followed by in-sync shushing from Piath and Caroline, gives them away. 

On the other end of the line, Azzi’s quiet again, “it’s okay P, you go have fun with your friends. We don’t have to spend every night together. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

What she doesn’t say is that maybe they need to learn how to live like that again, how to live apart again. Paige is almost done with the LA part of her rehab, something both of them are still in denial about. It’s only a matter of time before they return back to their two separate worlds and neither of them are sure they’ve managed to repair their friendship enough to not slip back into their foolishness again. 

“But I wanna see you tonight,” Paige whines, her tone teetering on the edge of sounding like a desperate girlfriend, “please.”

“Paige-”

“Pleaseeeeeee. I’m literally injured and begging Az, it’d be mean to say no.”

“What does your injury even have to do with any of this?” Azzi sighs exasperatedly, “but yeah okay fine calm down Bueckers. Send me an address, I’ll be there.”

“You don’t wanna come pregame here?” 

“Dude, let's not push it, okay?”

“Yeah, yeah okay see you,” Paige pauses, “hey Az?”

“Hmm?”

“I’m really happy you’re coming tonight.”

“I’m really happy you’re happy P.”

***

Azzi Fudd is a menace. See, people often get fooled by her soft-spoken nature and shy demeanour, but Paige has been around her long enough to know the truth. In the beginning it was the witty quips the younger girl always had ready whenever they were having some ridiculous argument. After that, it was the direct pranks that wreaked havoc on Paige’s life. But tonight, in Paige’s opinion, tonight is Azzi’s worst offence. She had to have done it on purpose, had to have known the sheer effect it would have on Paige to see her dressed like that. The red criss-cross tank top fits her like a mould and the way her ripped jeans shorts cling to her hips leaves little to the imagination. Her diamond belly button piercing shines against her skin, taunting Paige. She wants to touch, she wants to feel, she wants to do all the unspeakable things in her mind but she’s forced to just watch. 

What she hates most though, is that everybody else is watching too. Since Azzi’s walked into the club, Paige has had to fight the urge to strangle every stranger who had given her best friend an appraising once-over. Some of them let their eyes linger long enough to give her time to plot out the perfect murder strategy (it’s the only way she can stop herself from actually committing a crime tonight). And, as Azzi dances with Caroline, hips swaying to the beat and holding the other girl a little closely, Paige has the irrational urge to hit sweet, kind Caroline of all people. 

The thing is, Azzi’s been a little too attached to Caroline since she got here in Paige’s opinion. And she gets it. Piath, bless her soul, is trying but has always been a little awkward around new people. Nika is definitely not trying, loyally holding onto a grudge on behalf of Paige. Which leaves Caroline, who’s already familiar territory and the younger girl has grasped onto her like a lifeline. But enough is enough Paige decides, as she slips out of her seat with a determined look. Smoothly, she cuts right in between Caroline and Azzi.

“Nika’s a little wasted and I don’t want to deal with,” it’s a blatant lie but Paige knows appealing to Caroline’s more motherly instincts will get her what she wants. She gets a raised eyebrow in return, her teammate clearly catching her ruse because Nika looks visibly fine. But it works anyway and Paige gets Azzi to herself. She reaches for the other girl’s hand, twirling her just so she can hear that stupid silly laugh, and then pulling her back so she’s facing Paige. 

“You having fun?” 

“Always have fun with you P,” Azzi replies. She’s clearly tipsy but there’s no hint of insincerity in her voice. It makes Paige’s breath hitch. 

“Yeah?” she whispers, taking a step closer, “more than with Carol?”

Azzi giggles, “more than anyone.”

The song in the club changes and as the crowd adjusts to it, someone jostles Azzi and immediately Paige grabs at her hips to steady her. As she finds her balance, Azzi’s giggles subside, realising just how close she is to the blonde now. They’re stuck in slow motion as the world dances around them. The combination of adrenaline and alcohol pumping through her veins is what convinces Paige to test the limits. One hand still squeezing at Azzi’s bare waist, revelling in finally getting to touch, she brings up her thumb to trace around Azzi’s lips. The younger girl gulps, but when she doesn’t try to move away, confidence pulses through Paige. Her heart is beating frantically out of her chest, years and years of want and need that she’d shoved as far away as possible, desperately fighting to get to the surface. 

Pushing herself closer, so their chests are now pressed to each other and Azzi’s hands have no choice but to latch onto her biceps, Paige places a delicate, teasing kiss to the corner of Azzi’s lips. She wishes she could record the whine it elicits and listen to it on loop for hours. Smirking, she moves to place another one on the other side, this time pressing her lips a little harder, a little longer. Azzi’s eyes are closed shut, hands gripping onto Paige so tightly, she knows there’ll be a mark on her biceps tomorrow. She cups Azzi’s face with both hands now, her own eyes shutting involuntarily, as she finally, finally brushes their lips together. 

This time, the strangled noise that leaves Azzi’s throat, is one Paige wishes she could forget as the younger girl rips herself away from Paige, the force of it creating almost a foot of distance between them. It doesn’t take long for the familiar sting of rejection to make itself home in her heart. Azzi’s eyes are brimming with tears as she manically shakes her head. Without a word, she rushes through the crowd, making a beeline for the exit, leaving Paige confused and craving for another taste. 

***

It takes Paige a second to gather her thoughts before following the brunette. She ignores the confused glances from her teammates, making some bullshit excuse about fresh air as she fights her way outside. When she gets there, Azzi’s leaning against the wall, eyes closed as she takes in long deep breaths. 

“That’s not usually how girls react when I try to kiss them,” Paige says after a second, trying to make light of the situation, even if her heart is heavy with anxiety. 

It’s the wrong thing to say because Azzi scoffs, “you kiss a lot of girls don’t you.”

“Yeah and most of them kiss me back,” Paige bites back. 

She’s taken aback by the fire in the darker-skinned girl’s eyes as Azzi finally opens them, heaving herself off the wall. 

“I won’t be one of your groupies Paige. I won’t be one of your desperate one night stands. I won’t be just some other hookup. I won’t!”

Frankly she’s a little offended Azzi would even think that of her. She’s aware of her reputation. In fact she’d probably fed into it a little bit, exaggerating her escapades to Azzi on the phone her freshman year, when they had been on the verge of combusing and she’d been desperate to get a rise out of the younger girl. Last year though, last year was different. But Azzi doesn’t know that. 

“I don’t want you to be any of that,” she replies feebly. 

“Then what, do you want me to be?” Azzi’s voice rises with each syllable. 

Paige stutters, the words getting stuck in her throat. The truth is she wants Azzi to be everything. The truth is, Azzi already is everything. Except there’s too much between them and she just can’t say it. They stand in silence until Azzi finally breaks it.

“I think these last few weeks of summer might have been the best of my life,” she says miserably, “and that might be the worst thing ever you know? Because it’s not real. You’re gonna go back to your world and you’ll- you’ll stop replying to my texts and you’ll stop- you’ll stop calling me and I- I don’t know if I can do that again.”

“That’s an awful lot of assumptions you’re making about me,” Paige is on defensive mode now, feeling a fight brewing. 

“Because that’s what happened. Go back through your fucking phone Paige. Look at all the times I tried. And all the times you never did. You just- you cut me out Paige.”

“That’s not fair. You chose fucking UCLA. Over me.”

“No,” Azzi corrects immediately, anger seeping into her tone, “I chose UCLA over UConn. You made it about yourself.”

Paige swallows back a bitter response in favour of trying to prevent a full-fledged argument, “okay, okay let’s not- let’s not do this okay. It’ll be better this time- I- I won’t ignore your calls or texts or you okay? Just- can we just go back inside please?”

“That’s the thing,” Azzi’s anger is gone, replaced by a sad wistful smile, “I don’t know if I believe that you will,” a single tear rolls down her cheek, “I- I don’t fully trust you and you haven’t fully forgiven me. So where do we go from here?”

It’s a lie what they say about the truth setting you free, Paige thinks as Azzi’s words squeeze at her heart, because all it’s done is unleash shackles of despair that holds them both hostage. It had been easy the last couple of weeks, to pretend the last year had never happened. It had been easy for Paige to pretend that she was over what happened, to ignore the part of her brain that still felt so utterly betrayed. 

“Azzi, what are you saying? You don’t- you don’t wanna be friends?” Paige feels nauseous even saying it. 

“No I-” Azzi chews at her bottom lip, “I’m saying this- us- we’re too fragile to complicate even more. I barely- fuck- Paige, I barely survived losing my best friend. I don’t think I could survive losing something more.” 

The worst thing about it all, is that it makes sense. And really, Paige doesn’t know what she’d expected to happen if Azzi hadn’t pulled away when she did. They’d kiss, maybe give in and do more and then what? Shake hands and walk away? Or make false promises that would ultimately lead to resentment? No, Years and years of something deserved better than either of those masochistic endings. It makes sense, it does but it doesn’t mean Paige has to like it. 

In front of her, all the fight evaporates from Azzi’s body, as the younger girl leans back against the brick wall of the club, sliding down and pulling her knees to her chest. She looks every bit as miserable as Paige feels and all the blonde wants to do is wipe away the stress lines creasing against the younger girl’s beautiful phase. She moves to sit down next to her best friend, shuffling so their shoulders are pressed together and intertwines their fingers together. A sigh of relief escapes her when Azzi doesn’t immediately pull away. Instead, she squeezes their hands tighter, as if she’s scared that if she lets go, Paige will disappear. 

“You didn’t lose me you know,” Paige says softly after a second, nudging Azzi’s shoulder when the other girl lets out a noise of protest, “I know, I know it feels like you did. It felt like that to me too except- every time something good or bad happened to me, I heard your voice or- or maybe I just really wanted too. We got lost a little bit but I didn’t- I didn’t lose you and you didn’t lose me. There’s a difference. I don’t think we could ever lose each other like that. Not really.”

When Azzi turns to look at her, the golden glow of the street lights illuminate the emotions in her eyes. She gives Paige a soft smile, “well Bueckers, if basketball doesn’t work out, maybe you have a future in poetry.”

“I could do whatever I wanted,” except what I want to do the most. 

It doesn’t take long for the Uber Azzi’s already called to start pulling up and that familiar ache of longing creeps into Paige’s spine. She knows tonight isn’t their final goodbye; they still have a couple more days. But those days will be spent ignoring and pretending, unlike tonight and the firm grip they have on reality. They rise off of the cold pavement together, dusting themselves off. It takes a second of awkward glances before they’re surging into each other’s arms, squeezing each other so tightly that it’s hard to breathe. Paige wills herself not to cry, hiding her face in the crook of Azzi’s neck. 

“We’ll be okay,” she whispers, unsure if it’s more for her benefit or Azzi’s. 

The unwanted beep of a car is the only reason they reluctantly pull away, hurriedly wiping away unshed tears, they pretend the other can’t see. Azzi musters up a brave smile, before slowly moving away and it takes everything in Paige not to crumble and begs her to stay. Azzi’s halfway to the car when she turns back and it feels like Paige can breathe again. The brunette’s face is conflicted for a second before turning determined, as she starts walking back up. 

“Az-”

Paige’s confusion is stifled as Azzi fists her shirt, pulling her into a searing kiss. It’s desperate and needy and it’s only a few seconds before the dark-haired girl is pulling away again, but it sets Paige’s entire world off balance. 

“I just-” Azzi’s breathing is rapid and uneven, “I’ve wanted to do that since I was fifteen and- just- fuck- I just-,” she blinks up at Paige, “I hate- I hate leaving things unfinished and for fucks sake if you don’t call me back this time Bueckers- just- don’t be a stranger.”

Paige doesn’t get time to answer, she doesn’t think she could even if she did, because Azzi scurries away almost immediately. She stops when she gets to the car, turning back to give Paige one final look, a look that will haunt Paige forever, before getting into the backseat. As Paige watches the back of Azzi’s uber gets smaller and smaller, her tongue darts across her lips as she tries to memorise the faintest taste of Azzi’s strawberry-flavoured lipstick. And she knows, she’s so utterly and completely and terribly fucked.

[cringefailvox]

where would alastor fit into the staticbelle au, :0 ?

staticbelle au

OKAY IT REALLY DEPENDS BC!! we still don't know exactly why alastor is at the hotel! it could be because he's there on orders from someone else, or he's there to entertain himself, or to manipulate charlie for reasons unknown, or something else entirely—and the reason will really impact whether or not he'd choose to try and get involved with charlie if she was already supported by vox. a lot of his sway over the hotel comes from the fact that it was crumbling into disrepair when he arrived and he fairy godmother'd it into a somewhat functional project, therefore winning him a ton of emotional brownie points with charlie, but he wouldn't have that opportunity at all here because i really don't think there's anything he could offer charlie that vox isn't already providing (or wouldn't be willing to START providing if it meant spiting alastor).

however. presuming instead that alastor is not at the hotel to protect or look after charlie, or help her project succeed (since these would already be satisfied by vox), it'd be fascinating if instead alastor comes back after seven years and immediately antagonizes vox into losing his shit and making charlie go "ooookay! i'm gonna have to put my therapy techniques in action because vox is clearly not over his situationship." and that's how her and alastor meet. i think she knows about the alastor thing but hadn't really seen what the problem was before he came back; everyone in hell has enemies after all, and a little healthy rivalry never hurt anyone, but seeing it in action is totally different. after the third time vox plunges the city into darkness because alastor called him an insecure freak on air she's like umm. we might need to talk about this.

she's super worried about vox because she's never seen him this upset about anything before. vox is relapsing hard into his paranoid-obsessive shit that he'd worked on really hard in the seven years alastor has been away, and now it's all rushing back and threatening to ruin everything he's built—but also, his sorta girlfriend princess independent contractor person (???) is now insisting he try to "make amends" and "practice healthy emotional regulation" and "please stop brooding over your pit of sharks with a bottle of tequila i'm really nervous about you falling in and electrocuting yourself even though i know you're waterproof, come watch a movie with me instead?" and he can't decide whether he resents it or appreciates it (both. it's both).

maybe having charlie around to redirect him and encourage healthier outlets for his anger, unlike how val and vel normally handle his radio demon bullshit, DOES actually get him to calm down a little bit. maybe even enough to reluctantly agree to supervised counseling sessions with alastor, because fucking dammit charlie has gone behind his back to talk to al about repairing their broken friendship and he was so excited, vox, you should've seen him, he practically insisted on having me arrange a meeting, i think he really regrets how things ended between you two and wants to do better, please just give it a chance?? cue the worst couple's counseling session in the universe with vox stiff as a board and shaking with repressed rage in his seat while alastor sips tea demurely across from him and asks oh-so-politely how him and charlie met, and isn't this such a charming little affair, and ooh, redemption? how interesting! charlie is eating this the fuck up, overjoyed at the thought of meeting TWO overlords interested in her plan while vox can't do anything about it but seethe and fantasize about shooting alastor in the face when charlie's back is turned.

this actually sort of turns into vox feeling protective over charlie completely without meaning to, because he knows alastor isn't being genuine, he knows he has ill intentions, and vox has invested too much time and energy and honest commitment into both charlie and her dreams to let fucking alastor destroy it all by taking advantage of her desperate need for validation. only vox gets to capitalize on her daddy issues, dammit. but there's real affection there too, reluctant and uncomfortable as he is with its existence, and it's making it extremely difficult for him to handle alastor's Everything without betraying the fact that he's become emotionally compromised and isn't just looking out for his business interests.

charlie, meanwhile, thinks she's going to get to kill two birds with one stone here: she can help vox get over / assuage a broken relationship that's clearly causing him a lot of distress, and she can rope another influential overlord into endorsing her project, which prods the door open that much further for her to enact real change in hell. but alastor isn't the same kind of monster as vox, and she might be a little in over her head this time—because she just can't stop herself from having faith in people's better natures, even when every indication is pointing the other way. it's a kind of earnest and willful naivete that's like blood in the water to people like alastor and vox. at least she knows—she hopes—vox would hesitate now. she can't really say the same for al. either way, she's going to keep trying, and it's really a race between charlie's ability to infect people with soft mushy friendship emotions by double-bluffing their manipulative plots and alastor's ability to pry people open like clamshells and inflict horrifyingly intimate betrayals on them.

(hint: charlie always wins the long-game. there's only so many times you can sarcastically banter about your feelings over scones with your archrival and your girlfriend supervising before you start actually making breakthroughs and unwillingly understanding each other. charlie has weaponized "ironically committing to the bit too hard" in her favor and it works everyyy time)

[tinytalkingtina]

WIP Word Game

Rules: You will be given a word. Share one sentence/excerpt from your wip(s) that start with each letter of that word.

Thank you @little-annie, @vthx, @hbyrde36 and @adverbally for tagging me. Really got me to start working on my Star Trek AU again! Vulcan Steve lives to see another day

L "Look, do you want to do this or not?” Sharon asked. Shit, she sounded fed up. Eddie shook his head violently. “No no no, I do, you’re really hot. It’s just—the clasp,” he managed to mumble into the semi darkness of the bedroom. (Running with the Devil role reversal fic #2) I "I would prefer if you refrained from doing that,” S’tevan said quietly into the room, not quite meeting Eddie’s eyes. (Logical Imperfection) C Carol rolled her eyes as she popped her gum. “What is it with you two today? It’s like someone shoved a stick up both your asses!” (Running with the Devil role reversal fic #2) K "Keep that attitude of yours in check next time, or else I might take my services somewhere else.” (Running with the Devil role reversal fic #1)

S Stupid trailer in this stupid town. Why’d they have to move here in the first place? He liked Kentucky, never felt so dumb and wrong in Kentucky. Dad hadn’t turned mean ’til they moved, and now he was—. (Running with the Devil role reversal fic #2) I If only that had been the last time he dreamed of Steve Harrington.(Running with the Devil role reversal fic #1) D "Don’t move around so much.” Eddie grabbed Steve’s chin to steady him. Steve mercifully fell still. “That’s it, thank you. Doing so good for me there, Big Boy.” (Running with the Devil role reversal fic #2) E "Edward,” Mrs. Click interrupted, fond exasperation on her face. “I’m glad you’re so invested in keeping up school spirit, but for now let’s focus on the Revolutionary War.” Eddie laid the bashfulness on thick as he apologized. (Running with the Devil role reversal fic #2)

F For whatever reason, S’tevan’s ears were tinged the slightest bit greener than normal. Eddie was completely lost. “You, you brought me a mug?” S’tevan nodded his head. “Yes. I received this as a trinket from my time aboard the Klingon vessel exploring the Inverted Place, however, I do not drink raktijino. You have shown an affinity for displaying them in your quarters, therefore it is logical that you may have greater use for it than I.” (Logical Imperfection) I "I once again question why we are putting our lives in the hands of a hatchling.” Birdie was grumpy, had been since she transformed back.(Soaring Symphony) R Really he should have seen this coming sooner, but then again, he had been mated for only one day. It would be really lovely if the powers-that-be could cut him some slack. (Soaring Symphony) E Eddie hugged his knees closer to his chest. Maybe if he squeezed hard enough, he would be able to feel his Mama’s arms wrapped around him. (Running with the Devil role reversal fic #2)

F Flying was, well, exhilarating. Through their bond, Big Boy’s absolute joy thrummed high and sweet, the note echoing in the back of his mind. (Soaring Symphony) R "Reasoning did not factor into my decisions. It was a serious imperfection in my logic.” (Logical Imperfection) U Underneath the mask, he could be anyone. The feeling was both freeing and a little terrifying. (Running with the Devil role reversal fic #2) I It’s not like Eddie hadn’t spent time with enthusiastic partners. But he had never seen such naked adoration in anyone’s eyes before. (Logical Imperfection) T Tommy’s not wrong, it fits him perfectly. Hides the way his t-shirt’s a little too worn. Fills out his shoulders too. Thank goodness, because no matter how many pushups he does before school, they remain stubbornly bony. (Running with the Devil role reversal fic #2)

Should you accept this mission to play too, your word is PINE. Go and share those WIPS :D No pressure tagging @augustjustice @hairstevington @griefabyss69

@pearynice @penny00dreadful @ataliagold (If anyone sees this and wishes they were tagged too just PM me and I'll tag you!)

[samptlay]

To My Sweetheart Who Carries A Wounded Heart Ch. 10

Series Masterlist, Chapter 1 🤍, Chapter 2 🖤, Chapter 3 🤍, Chapter 4🖤, Chapter 5🤍, Chapter 6🖤, Chapter 7🤍, Blade & Reader's Relationship, Chapter 8🖤, Chapter 9🤍

Blade’s phone was ringing, & your name was on the screen.

Did you find out about the affair? Are you calling him while crying your eyes out? Though that could be the case, it seemed less likely that you needed to learn what was happening. So why in the world would you be calling him right now? He doesn’t know or have a single idea, but he probably shouldn’t keep you waiting, whatever it is.

“Y/N?”

“Ren, hey. I’m sure you weren't expecting my call but right now I have no idea where Levi is and I'm feeling like crap. Are you busy with anything right now?”

He did not think he could get any more worked up, but hearing the sorrow in your voice as well as the fact you just told him you felt lonely almost made him see red. In all honesty, he was about to run to his dining room, snatch his keys from off the table, and rush to his car but he hadn’t even showered, let alone brush his teeth. Though he’s sure that you’d let him do all that at your place if he were to leave right now he couldn’t show up unpresentable to you, could he? That could ruin some of his image on you and he’d rather jump off a cliff than let that happen. (He really would.)

“Hello~? Do you have plans? I saw on your calendar you were off but if you already have somewhere to be then-”

Shoot, he got lost in thought for a moment there. Of course, he didn’t have anything to do, he’s never occupied when it comes to you but he’s sure you’re not aware of that fact.

“No- I’m free. I mean-”

He coughs, and you end up giggling from the other end. His ears turn a bit pink from embarrassment as he clears his throat and he decides to speak again.

“Just give me like, 30 minutes I'll be there soon, alright?”

“Mhm. See you soon.”

He could hear your not-so-subtle chuckles before you hung up, but he was already throwing his phone onto his bed and making his way to the bathroom, turning on the shower before brushing his teeth at a speed that definitely made sure they were pearly white. Again, he could never look like a mess in front of you, it just didn't sit right with him.

Blade didn't even wait for the water to fully warm up before stripping and grabbing his toothbrush and toothpaste, getting inside, and deciding to multitask with everything. In the back of mind, Blade knew that he shouldn't be this eager to see you, shouldn't be in such a rush to want to be in the company of a married woman, but he couldn't help it. It's always been this way and he doesn't really want it to change any time soon.

~

After getting himself situated and hopping into his car, Blade's brain took more time to realize that today would be a lot harder for you than any other. He just notes that he was sad as well. You wouldn't know how much courage it took for him to not run into that hospital room and hold you in his arms.

It was a loss of a life. One that could have brought you so much happiness, but was stripped of you.

However, he could make it better. Blade's not the greatest at expressing his feelings at times though he's always could effortlessly make you smile. He was certain he could do it today, too. So why not go pick up a little something for you while he's on his way? Surely it couldn't have any negative effects.

~

A/N: I've been having second thoughts about this fic. I looked back to some previous chapters and realized I was not too fond of the way it was written. One person said the way I write Blade is ooc… (on Tumblr) which didn't help my encouragement to write this. I'm excited about the new fic and I'm going to be investing a lot of my energy into that one because I don't get much feedback about this one, it's harder to do better. Therefore, this fic is going on Hiatus until further notice. I'll be using that time to learn more while working on something else.

I MIGHT add chapters randomly if I have work done but updates are not regular as of now. But it will not be abandoned. (I believe.)

If you have any questions or comments, don't be afraid to leave them. ♡ ~♪◍•

Taglist: @uhfhfhfhf @xdrin @msun1c0rn @umi-adxhira @lovingnahida @strrawb3rrysh0rtcak3 @ssecylia @skyl8ver @immahuman @meowmeowraven @01234 @markexplanation @esthelily @dawnofazrael @chickenalfredo4life @eccaza @jun-xiu @klemen-time @delulu-val @everi-eve @cluelesstoeverything @strangersomeone

Borders by @cafekitsune

[trashcanwithsprinkles]

the sheer zoomies my brain did when i realised i hadn't checked for new chapters for a few weeks and found that indeed, i have several to catch up on (which i'll go do in a moment, i am sure they'll be wonderful, and the more the merrier!)

i haven't caught up on reading the other asks & answers yet either but i am just going to assume no one came in with this particular one since it's rather specific,,, so

i was thinking the other day, y'know how the archons' eyes and stuff can glow? and it might be a slightly odd thing to pick on, but i don't think it's because of anything specifically gnosis related, since, well, playable character things ought to be all-time accurate or after stuff happens, if anything. and also ei/raiden. has not had hers for some time. but she still gets that. that's probably a better argument. so, i assume it's like a light/godly energy thing maybe? or just some kind of really strong amount of elemental energy kind of thing. i don't want to assume that it's only the archons that have it because, well, we haven't exactly gotten to see other gods very much, and with the archons it's not there all the time, either. ...and elemental things just tend to glow anyway, it's just a really specific instance of it. at any rate, that leads me to the question: since ajax/childe/tartaglia has his uh, very notably lightless eyes, which tends to be attributed to the whole. fell into the abyss time, which to me does make sense. if we assume it's just a light/godly energy thing in general, would he have any of that potentially in the fic now? how would that work if the lightlessness is from the abyss? it's not like the abyss influence disappeared, after all. even if it, say, might show but might not show really bright, because well, his eyes are still. kind of. lightless, usually, i assume, and it really is just an assumption (i could go on a whole debate with myself on if they would even still be pretty much. mostly lightless but i'll just stick with assuming for now,,,). but maybe if not really bright, something that feels more underlying but is still... there? the best way i can put it into words is how the "bright" feeling comes from the "light" which not always but sometimes comes from, you know, a colour that's closer to white, and therefore lighter or a colour that's just... a lot more potent, for lack of a better way to describe it (it's probably not that simple, i know, but.). so what i mean by something underlying would be if, say, rather than a really light or even more medium kind of colour "shining through", so to speak, something that's.... perhaps a bit darker than usual, but still there. that's a really random thought to spring on you but my brain handed it to me the other day and it's been bothering me when it comes to cool little details or concepts (a very pleasant thinky much thoughts kind of thing) so i thought i would ask your opinion on that one, highly specific detail :] just a concept im curious about is all! i had no idea what to make of it, ahaha,,, i kept wondering if it's stretching the idea too far, but if it is just a light/godly/super-high-elemental energy kind of thing, then well, i can't help but wonder about it now

and a very practically irrelevant tiny thing but im sending this right after a tiny madness of trying to figure out how to maximise childe's ranged charged bow shot damage without using food or bennett. the highest i got is 45,100 from the initial hit (it was on an enemy with pyro and with kazuha boosting hydro but.). sir. how. that feels illegal. he continues to surprise me,, although i got far too invested in that small exercise, and boy does it take a lot to remove his hydro,,,,, but anyway! hope you are having a good day >:] i am off to see how much fic i can catch up on before sleep time arrives

4- 45k.............................................

you got me thinking- i think it'd be cool if it were something like this. morax' glow is normal light, while ajax', which has an abyssal effect to it, is uv light. morax' eyes just shine while ajax' turn into electric eyestrain blue

[metanarrates]

I'm sending you this ask because youre one of the few people I have seen critique isat and I needed to ask someone this.

There's something off about in stars and time's character writing, is there not? I can't quite put my finger on it which is why I'm so hesitant to talk about it because it might just be a me thing, but, as an example, it feels very similair as to why the magnus archive's character writing failed me too.

I just can't get myself invested in any of the characters besides maybe Loop? I simply don't consider how they may react to certain things or how they may live their lives, I'm just not interested in their internal worlds.

However, I can't quite pin down why, so I'm asking in case you felt anything similar? If not, that's fine, I know a lot of people enjoyed the game, and I'm glad for them! I just have an interest in writing, and I want to get a deeper understanding as to why some stories fail to interest some viewers when they succeed at interesting others.

Thank you for your time 😊

usual disclaimer that I ended up liking the game quite a bit and that I don't have any malice towards the author! but yes, I have been thinking myself about the different ways its character writing does and doesn't work for me too. more under the cut

there's a couple of issues as to why investment in characters might not be happening. they're pretty interlinked problems, but for the sake of at least trying to explain them clearly, I'll put them down in a list.

1. assumption of initial investment. I've referred to this in earlier posts on the game, but a huge reason why the early acts of the game did not work at all for me is that it felt like the author already expected me to have a baseline positive investment in the characters and their relationships from the beginning of the game, and since I didn't have that investment automatically it took a WHILE for me to end up actually interested in any of them. this is partially why I referred to the game's writing as "fanfictiony" - given that fanfiction is built off of a work that has already done the hard work of getting you invested, fanfiction tends to assume that you are already interested in its characters from the beginning and therefore tends not to do any of the introductory work that creates that investment.

but that introductory work is necessary in an original work of fiction if you want to make characters and relationships interesting to a viewer. a viewer has to be shown how characters are unique and how they interact with others in unique ways. and while that's not entirely absent from the game, especially in its later acts, it's also work that is hindered by some of the other pervasive writing issues. I'll get into those.

but as an endcap to this point - the game REALLY wants you to care about the party being together right from the first moment of the game. given that my only reason at that point to care is "they went on an offscreen adventure that I didn't see" it's... sort of hard to have that offscreen adventure be the main thrust of the party cohesion for the first few acts. we don't get to see the change in the party growing closer that would make their love for each other feel earned to a viewer. the relationships are static, at least until act 3. arguably part of the point of the game, but it makes it harder to get invested!

2. a LOT of the main party character dialogue, particularly early game, is spent on either exposition or banter. and while both of those things can be characterful if done well, they also tend to be less revealing of a character's internality than other forms of dialogue. isat's writing of both tends to be rather clunky. even exposition meant to reveal character traits (ie. learning from flavor text that isabeau likes fashion) tends to feel a little forced and usually amounts only to character trivia. I'm sympathetic to this writing issue in particular because it can be HARD to write that kind of exposition in a way that feels natural, but the end result is that it's hard to get a good grasp on how the characters have unique internal lives, given how much time they spend saying things that only can carry a surface-level portrait of their internal thought processes.

3. relationship writing tends to only revolve around siffrin. given that siffrin is the protagonist, this also makes sense to a degree, but there just isn't a lot of work put into depicting the unique relationships that might exist outside of him. what makes mirabelle and bonnie's friendship different than mirabelle and isabeau's, for example? we know they're friends, but is there a lot of work done to make it feel like their dynamics are particularly engaging? it's always a lot easier to see how characters are multifaceted when you see the unique ways they relate to other people in their lives. and since everyone besides siffrin treats everyone around them very similarly (ie. mirabelle is nice to everyone, odile holds everyone at a distance) it's just harder to get a good grasp on how they think and behave.

4. we also do not see much about how their relationships with siffrin or with each other might be strained or complicated. I may have referenced this before, but it was actually disappointing to me that act 5 didn't involve the whole party falling apart from internal issues exacerbated by siffrins behavior, rather than it just being siffrin individually sabotaging their relationships with everyone. you get a LOT of character investment juice out of showing conflict. and while there is legitimate conflict in each individual relationship siffrin has with everyone, the conflict tends to only feel like it exists in certain scenes, rather than it being something that underpins every interaction in subtle ways. (bonnie and loop are the exceptions to this, mainly because both of them are frequently a little antagonistic towards siffrin.) it has the overall effect of making the relationships feel a little less complicated than they could be.

5. lack of subtlety. this game is unsubtle in the extreme when it wants you to know something, and that actively detracts from the character writing. it's the main thing that drags down siffrins character for me - I get that he's anxious and insecure and does not communicate and is self-destructive. I don't need another 10 lines of narration per scene to hammer that in for me, especially when that narration could be better spent illustrating more of the nuances of those facts. they do end up feeling pretty strongly characterized to me by the end, but I don't appreciate how often the game belabors the point that they have issues. characters often feel deeper when the audience is given a lot of room to draw their own conclusions about them. not everything needs self-reflexive commentary.

this is a problem I feel is the main issue with siffrin, but it's not unique to them. mirabelle in particular has a tendency to just say exactly what her problems are out into the world. and while it works a bit better on her, it's still just not the best way to write a character. it's fine to tell and not show, sometimes, but you need to use that tool sparingly!

those are the main pervasive issues. there are a number of smaller reasons an individual character might miss the mark somewhat for me, but these are the ones you might be feeling for the entire cast. these issues are also possibly why you and I both find loop the most interesting character - they tend to sidestep the majority of these problems!

I'll reiterate, as I've done before, that most of these problems seem to be a result of an inexperienced author trying to tackle a difficult high concept. most of these problems are the sort that would eventually get better just by sheer experience at handling character writing. there's a lot of potential in the game, which is why I ended up enjoying it a lot. but I hope this little breakdown of my critiques was illuminating to you!

[babytarttdoodoo]

This isn't a fic request (though I am looking forward to a lot you've got on your pending list!!) but you write Roy x Jamie so nicely as an established couple. Would love to know your thoughts on how they get together and how that relationship works?

Oh, gosh, well, thank you for asking! This all may well make it into a longer fic one day but in the meantime have my disjointed ramblings.

Firstly, I do think it would be a decent amount of time after canon before they got around to it. Like, a year at least.

Roy is taking steps to work on himself (namely, he has to deal with his temper and communication before they would ever be able to work) and needs space to work through that. Jamie is also experiencing probably the most stable period of his life he's ever had and deserves time to enjoy it.

If we think that Colin and Michael's kiss didn't cause an absolute riot in-universe, I could see Jamie coming out as bi (even if only to take the heat off Colin) and dating a few men publicly. We love a sexy little king getting to safely explore his sexuality with a rabidly invested support network around him. This could also be what triggers Roy to start thinking about him in that way.

Might be controversial but I don't think either he or Roy would have a lot of experience being involved with other men from pre-canon. Between football culture and the potential risk to their careers, women were just an easier option. I do, however, believe Roy knows he's attracted to men (20 years in locker rooms pls), but is just repressed enough to have never seriously considered that his fixation on Jamie might be romantic or sexual in nature.

Realising he feels jealous is a genuine surprise. It's probably still a while before he does anything about it.

Honestly torn between ' a heat of the moment kiss followed by lots of Talking' or 'Roy invites Jamie to dinner and A Very Mature Conversation'. Either way, they definitely need to talk extensively before anything happens.

Roy is Jamie's manager. Yes, I know there are instances of it happening in the women's game and being fine. A relationship between two very famous male sports personalities would, unfortunately, be a whole different kettle of fish.

Therefore they agree to:

Go slow and feel out if this could even work before getting too deep.

Having a few confidantes in the know (Keeley, Georgie, Rebecca, maybe Beard) so they're not in a closed loop of secrecy with each other.

Keeping professional decisions out of it as much as possible.

That last one is contentious because so much of who they are individually and to each other is tied up in football. When they do, in fact, think they can have a serious relationship, it becomes apparent very quickly that they also have to tell the team. One, because it will keep them accountable; two, because the number of times they're nearly caught fooling around is genuinely ridiculous.

Roy smiles at Jamie a lot. It's a bone-chilling sight without context.

Jamie will move to another team eventually. It's what makes sense for his development and career path. I have more thoughts on that trajectory but for this I'll just say that, when he starts getting offers, he does consider that it might make keeping his work and personal lives separate a lot easier.

There are a lot of good times. They understand each other extremely well. They push each other towards self-improvement across the board. Jamie is wonderful with Phoebe. Roy and Simon develop a baked goods based bromance.

There are some tough times. Their careers takes them all over the country and beyond. Distance strains them. They both internalise a lot of negative feelings for fear of ruining what they do have.

(They each think the other deserves better. They are idiots.)

But talking to each other always gets them over the hurdles. Loving each other always brings them back together.

Once Jamie steps back from playing, falling back on modelling and charity work with underprivileged kids, they finally, quietly, go public.

The wedding is beautiful.

[generic-sonic-fan]

Hi! Just in case you're still doing the ship chart asks, i'll ask for Shadow x the Commander. I'm gonna have to explain a lot on how I got here (i don't think anyone else has made a case for it on this website before) so please bear with me for a bit lol

My first point of interest... I genuinely think the Commander is meant to mirror Shadow's own journey in a way (both in SA2 and Shth i mean). The details vary but it stands that either through manipulation or general lack of information, they're both driven to seek revenge against eachother for their childhood best friend/sister figure, Maria : to Shadow, GUN, humanity and therefore the world, is responsible. To the Commander, Shadow (along with his two dads) is responsible. But in the end, they're able to see the situation with more clarity. Shadow realizes that Maria loved the planet despite all the flaws of its inhabitants, respecting her wish for her sake... And although those feelings aren't explored that much in depth, i think the Commander realizes something similar too, that Shadow cared about Maria a lot and in a way is finally able to see the kindness she saw in Shadow too...

I also believe that in a subtle way, the commander's arc is an echo to Shadow's search for the truth. Even though he starts out convinced Shadow is the evil one, that viewpoint is challenged when he actually faces him... (in the only scene they have together, the Commander leaves their interaction uncertain and confused, when a minute earlier he was determined to get rid of Shadow for good... just one short interaction with Shadow was enough to shake his resolve and question his convictions. The commander was one piece of the puzzle Shadow needed to solve, but the truth was just as lost on the commander as it was on him)

All this to stay. Shadow's journey of finding the truth in its whole and putting the past behind you is also the commander's, methinks. They're two people coming from opposite sides of the story, they deeply mirror yet contrast eachother... i thought that was really brilliant. So i'm really invested in what their interactions would be like after this game.

Canon hasn't really brought back the commander in the past 20 years (i heard shadow gens would change that though! hurray for me), so this next point would be about what their dynamic (relationship?) might look like post-shth.

We know the commander is pretty remorseful, and goes so far as to invite Shadow to his house... not sure if Shadow would have accepted though, lol. But either way i do believe the commander wanted to bury the hatchet for good and is determined to keep it that way, even if Shadow is still a menace sometimes.

As for Shadow... there is that one scene in Chronicles.

(It's hilarious to me. its canonicity is dubious but i couldn't not mention it)

Shadow doesn't like humans still so I think he has little respect for the commander lol. I feel like while the commander really tries to get along with shadow, the guy remains pretty ambivalent to him at best ha.

However, with their shared past and all, there's potential for them to grow closer on that basis... maybe a sort of confidant relationship. The past isn't something either of them are defined by, but it still can't help but hurt at times... I imagine it would be especially hard for Shadow, who could still be recovering memories of that time and whose trauma seems so much fresher in his mind. In those moments, the commander might be the person in the world who understands his pain the most, and as someone who's lived with it for decades and managed to build a new life around it, his support would be really valuable, even if Shadow doesn't accept it at first. I think that vulnerability and the emotional intimacy that comes with it would be the key for a more intimate relationship to develop between the two... they'd become really important part of each other's lives this way, irreplaceable

Sorry about the huge wall of text haha. even without the shippy stuff, I find their dynamic really interesting and i like thinking of their possible future together... it wouldn't be all sunshine and rainbows, probably really messy in the beginning. I believe they could have a sweet ending together though. it's the rarepair that's closest and dearest to my heart and i'd go as far to say i think it would be more popular if they were the same species! That's not the case though, so i'll keep spreading my propaganda >:)

Anyways, I'm excited to know what you think! Even if you don't see it, I hope you got something out of my ramblings

You're honestly kind of insane for this but you know what? I respect it.

Made it into a messy QPR since while their chronological ages match, their mental ages don't quite mesh for me. You go off though, sonadowkismesis. This is a genuine rarepair and I enjoyed thinking outside the box for this.

[writtenbynath]

Hi what are some risks associated with engaging with your content. I'm new around here. It's interesting but intimidating

My content? I just write opinions and advice. I don't make files.

What are some risks of interacting with kinky hypno files online? Now that's a good question!

The first time you try out a file made by someone you don't know, it's really hard to tell whether you're going to have a nice experience or not. You can check for the content warnings and the description, but that won't tell you all you need to know. If you're experienced with hypnokink, you can just use the file and trust in your own mind to reject the suggestions you don't want and wake yourself up if you don't like it. If you don't have those skills (well, you might practice on those skills with some files you know and like) you can skip forward through the file to see if you like the vibe of the file.

You can also investigate who the creator of the file is. You see, the file in my most reblogged post? Not mine. A little investigation would have told you that it's an old file by TheSecretSubject that helps you to develop the aforementioned skills of rejecting suggestions and waking yourself up. Digging around to find other files by the same creator and perhaps blog posts about their life tells you what kind of person they are and helps you decide whether you trust them. Sending them an anonymous ask will not reveal if they can be trusted or not.

Most youtubers and online creators have some kind of little community around them, with a discord server and other ways to interact. Be very critical about what you see and hear in such a community, it can tell you a lot about who the creator is as a person and whether you should trust them. Be very aware that interacting with a creator like that will often result in a parasocial relationship, remember that creators a re just people with their own lives, it's your responsibility to behave like a nice fan.

A few things you'll notice about creators who cannot be trusted: their little community feels like a cult where they worship the creator and they hate together on people who criticise them. Little cults like this have all the hallmarks: love-bombing, indoctrination by the creator as a teacher, isolation tactics to get you away from other online communities, an us-versus-them mentality and the expectation that you invest a lot of time in their community. If you're noticing things like this, get out now!

While SecretSubject is a wonderful person and a talented creator, there are many hypnotists out there who make files that can have a negative impact on your life. Here's my unsolicited advice on how to mitigate that negative impact.

Watching a file only once will have minimal impact. So, don't worry too much about the impact of a file you've watched only once. Files that you use daily or listen to on loop are the ones you should be really careful with. That could severely impact your life. Going cold turkey from such an experience is hard, but is a good solution to the problem. If you notice that the files you're listening to are making you unhappy in some way, I always recommend stopping cold turkey and focusing on your offline life for a week or so. Take good care of yourself.

Some files are designed to make triggers that can then be used by other files or by people you allow to use the trigger. Remember that they're your triggers, they're in your head, therefore you get to decide who uses them, and you get to decide when you don't want the triggers to work. If the file or the hypnotist you're talking to want to take this agency away from you, that's not OK. That's Consensual NonConsent material that you should only attempt with a trusted partner when you understand what you're getting yourself into.

Some files are designed to create a personality or alter ego like for example a bimbo or a sissy or a submissive slave. That's high risk stuff. If someone is trying to push you to listen to such files even though you're just starting out with hypno kink, get away from them! Personality play can have a big impact on your life, so again, only with a trusted partner when you understand what you're getting yourself into.

That's my advice about using hypno kink files.

[artfightdramaconfessions]

Pouring out a bit of tea I am very excited for AF, can't wait to whammy the homies and lovely strangers with art - but I am also super excited for especially day 1 of Artfight. Mainly bc my first move will be to delete some artworks I made for a toxic person i went no contact with a long time ago that still tries to start shit and cannot wrap their head around the fact that someone who goes no contact with you does not owe you an explanation or exit interview about why they are running over that burning bridge and straight for the hills.

Technically I stay far away from them and do neither engage nor seek out their socials for my own piece of mind got them blocked everywhere and all that good shit but I heard through the grapevine plenty of stuff about the one sided online drama they tried to start to smear my name (which did not work. Pro-tip: not engaging not speaking up online about a private issue that should've stayed between two people works like a charm. If you say nothing to blow that drama up even further than the other person tries to provoke, you win. You win bc people get tired of their apparently one-sided drama and hate crusade real quick and do not even need your side to understand why you might've chosen to go no contact in the first place. Toxic people tell on themselves real fast) But why delete the artwork then, you might wonder. Well, turns out this person left some petty messages in the private comment section of their attacks for other people who did not entertain their bs aka "choosing their side", therefore, obviously that means they are on my side and thus enemies. So I got tempted. I checked. They unblocked me on AF specifically so I would be able to see the petty lil messages they left beneath the attacks they made for me. Apparently they did this in other places too but the AF one stands out by the act of unblocking my account so I would be able to see it. This is some teenager/early twenties drama behaviour that I am simply too old for. I have a life and a job and no time for this. I assume they hope to bait me into blowing up on my socials or something or reach out to them. It is bait, clumsy bait. Had better by worse people in the past. The idea that I've been living rentfree in their head for such a long time, that they still try to get my attention and a response is so wild to me. If they invested that kinda energy they use in stalking my shit and trying to get me to respond into, oh, I don't know, maybe getting better and dealing with their issues, who knows where they could be in this moment in time. Wild concept. But yeah long story short. I wanna get rid of these artworks firstly for my own peace of mind. Close that chapter one more time with feeling. But a petty part of me that is tired and exhausted with their shit hopes it makes em blow up a bit. Just a little fuck you for the road. (do not post publicly if not anon)

.

[misc-obeyme]

Could you do how the brothers would react to MC's Barbie and Lego sets? Would they play with them or just support MC by buying more sets

Hi there, anon!

While I definitely think all the brothers would be supportive, I also think all of them could be talked into playing, too lol.

Thanks for the request!

brothers react to GN!MC who has Barbie and Lego sets

Warnings: none!

Lucifer

Due to his busy schedule, Lucifer is not likely to engage in playing with your sets unless you really get on his case about it. He's a busy demon. He likes that you're occupied, but he has mountains of paperwork. Please, MC, he just doesn't have the time.

Will absolutely purchase you new sets. Probably doesn't know which ones you have or don't have, so might need to consult with you or one of his brothers before purchasing one for you.

He's going to be concerned about storage, though. Wants to make sure that you have enough space to keep everything tidy. Please make sure you don't leave any tiny pieces on the floor because if he steps on a Lego it's all over.

When he does have a little time, you might be able to wrangle him into building a Lego set with you. Watch as he gets incredibly invested, refusing to sleep until it's complete. Might get a little frazzled, but in the end it turns out perfect.

Mammon

Acts like he's not interested. He's gonna say stuff like well okay I guess the Great Mammon can indulge ya for a bit, MC! But really he's totally fine with playing with you.

Always buying you new ones. Actually knows every single set you own and therefore is able to buy you ones you don't already have.

Keeps a couple in his room. Might act like he's more interested in keeping a finished Lego set, but secretly enjoys the Barbie sets, too. Displays them prominently where he can see them.

Good at putting them together. Anything that needs assembly, he's on it. If you're really struggling with a certain set, he is there to help. He'll be able to figure it out for you.

Leviathan

Of course he'll play with you, MC! Like he doesn't know how it is to be interested in something like that. He's going to be right there, ready to go.

Definitely buys you new sets. Finds you limited editions. Will wait in lines with you if necessary. He knows about new releases before you do, even.

Shows you how best to display them while you're not using them. Depending on how rare they are, might insist you get three of every set. You know, one to use, one to display, and one to keep!

If there is any kind of equivalent thing in the Devildom, he's going to get you into that, too. Lego-like sets that are Ruri themed? Maybe there's a little demon doll that's as popular as Barbie and has her own play sets? He will suggest them all to you.

Satan

Not likely to play with them. Likes watching you play with them, though. He'll join in if you really want him to. Give him a little bit of a pout and he'll succumb pretty fast.

Biggest exception to this is going to be any kind of set that has cats involved. Veterinarian Barbie with her own clinic full of kitties? Lego cats? He is invested.

Probably won't buy as many for you as the others - just because don't you already have enough sets, MC? But if he sees something he knows you don't have or that he thinks you'll particularly like, he'll get it for you. Especially if it's one he knows you've been wanting for a while.

When he does play, he comes up with elaborate story lines for all your Barbies. In fact, his favorite one becomes Detective Barbie while the rest become suspects and one is the victim. Watch him act out entire murder mysteries with them.

Asmodeus

Okay. Listen. Asmo is going to be making you new sets. Give him all your Barbies. They clearly need new clothes. He'll make them all entirely new wardrobes. Might not have the materials to make new Lego sets, but he's very good at designing them still.

If anything needs to be repaired, he's the one to go to. Might rope Levi into helping, but together there's nothing they can't fix for you.

Absolutely plays with you if you ask. He's happy to join in, especially considering how happy you look when he does. He just wants to see your sweet smiling face, MC. Also, you can expect elaborate Barbie fashion shows, especially if he's made them all new outfits.

Will buy you new ones without hesitation. Will just buy one whenever he sees it, doesn't even know if you already have it or not. You might end up with multiple sets because of this.

Beelzebub

You should be okay with this guy unless you've got anything that looks even remotely tasty. Fake food? Building a Lego cheeseburger? Forget it, those things are gone in seconds. It doesn't matter that it isn't actual food, we know he can eat anything. He's sorry, MC. They just looked so good and he was so hungry.

Keep him away from that stuff, but otherwise, you've got a buddy here. Beel will pretty much do anything that will make you happy, so if you want him to play with you, he will. Doesn't question it or act like he's not interested, he's interested in what you are interested in.

Feels bad about any that he's eaten, so will absolutely buy you new ones. Won't do it randomly, though. Always checks with you first. He wants to be sure he gets you ones you actually want.

Will always get roped into whatever you're working on. Plays with all the Barbie sets and helps as much as he can with the Lego sets. Perfectly content to sit by your side for hours. Just tell him what to do, MC.

Belphegor

Surprisingly easy to cajole into playing with you. If you're sitting in one spot for a while because you're playing with one or your sets, he's probably already asleep next to you anyway. When he wakes up and sees you, he's not going to be able to resist joining in. You're pretty cute, MC.

Surprisingly, Belphie knows all your sets. Any time he's with any of his brothers and they're considering buying one for you, he'll be able to direct them to one you don't have yet. He will buy them himself, too, but only if he knows it's one you really want.

Expect him to start using the Barbies to imitate his brothers. Turns one Barbie into Lucifer who doles out punishments to the others. One of the Barbies is him and she gets to sleep through everything.

He'll also use the Legos to make Lucifer crazy. Leaves them where he knows Lucifer won't notice and then steps on them. If Lucifer gets on your case about it, Belphie will take full responsibility for it. He doesn't want you to get into trouble because of his pranks.

masterlist | Thank you for reading!

[cursedvibes]

I found this by one of my (ex) moots who have unfollow me, cause now they're anti -JJK :

"JJK really went from a loved manga to a mid-to-bad story with insufferable fans 🙏 may more of us hate it in the future. It snatches the spotlight from genuinely good shows and its another case of "general shonen fan will call any trash 'goat' if the fight is well animated".

I used to be a fan, until the start of the culling game. And after this controversial, inconsistent and inhumane adaptation of shibuya, im glad that I have no interest in both manga and show anymore"

Do you think Culling game is hard to understand, cause several of my (ex) moots also start dislike JJK after that arc?

I can't speak for everyone who dislikes jjk, but I think for most people who dislike the Culling Games, it's a sort of recency bias (except in the opposite way it's usually used). Many criticisms levied against the Culling Game were also said during the Shibuya arc as it was coming out and are showing up again, now that it has been animated. Things like "too many fights", "I don't care about these new characters", "the pacing is shit", "killing too many main characters makes deaths meaningless", "Yuuji isn't even the main character anymore" are often said for the Culling Game arcs, but also something I now see a lot from anime-onlys for the Shibuya arc. It's just how Gege writes and either you like it or you don't. A lot has also to do with binge-reading something and reading it weekly (especially if you don't reread chapters). The flow of action and payoffs are much more apparent when you binge something than when you have to wait for little titbits of the story to come out and stew for weeks over setups for later plot points. Any minor grievances you have are also easier forgotten when you read the full story. Problems like "I don't know what's going on or who these characters are and therefore I don't care" show up a lot when you aren't used to or don't like reading something weekly. There are people who complain that they don't know who Higuruma or Kashimo are, when it is very easy to remember that if you just keep the story in mind, reread past chapters or only read full arcs. They certainly don't lack characterization. Gege's writing definitely has flaws, especially recently, but we got to know plenty about Higuruma, Kashimo, Takaba etc.. Someone might not like them or isn't interested in their stories because of personal taste, but that's not Gege's fault. I for example like the Culling Game much more than Shibuya or Hidden Inventory and I think Shibuya can drag a lot at certain parts, but the highlights still make it a good arc. Perfect Preparation and Culling Game just has more to offer to me because it focuses on different characters and I like the new ones generally much more than say the Kyoto school group. Each of the new characters have tons more depth than any of the curse users that worked for Kenjaku previously and thereby liven things up a lot. Not to mention more lore. Thing is, if your favourite characters appear less and you don't like the new ones much, that will inevitably turn you off the story. That's valid, but personal taste is subjective, it's not what makes the story bad.

There are plenty criticisms to be made and you can clearly tell that Gege is rushing some parts of the story now, so I can understand if people stop reading because of that, but it's a matter of if the highs outweigh the lows. As whole arcs, I definitely don't think Culling Game is any worse than Shibuya. Or that Perfect Preparation is worse than Hidden Inventory (I think those are better to compare, since HI has a very different focus and is much shorter than Shibuya or CG). I'm a bit sceptical about the final fight against Sukuna in Shinjuku (excluding Kenjaku's part and Hakari vs Uraume from this for now, I liked those), but there's enough there to keep me invested and continue reading. I can understand though if that's not the case for others. Similar for the controversial timeskip and don't even get me started on Sukuna vs Gojo. Some criticism I don't agree with (sorry but Takaba vs Kenjaku was actually good), but there are other valid points to be made. For example, I recently saw a discussion on twt about how we are barely shown Gojo interacting with the students he supposedly cares about. I can totally understand that, especially when we are given more flashbacks to what happened during the timeskip and Gojo isn't in any of them and apparently not invested in what his students and friends are gonna do in case he dies. It does give the impression that he just doesn't give a shit about any of them anymore and it doesn't help his lack of characterization and character development post-unsealing.

Generally, I think it's best for these people who are "anti-jjk" to just drop the show if they can't enjoy anything about it at all. There are many more mangas, animes or other stories out there they could read/watch, instead of forcing themselves through something they don't like. I do that with plenty of stories as well. So if your ex moot decides to drop the manga and anime because they don't like it anymore, good. Find something else.

I think their criticism that jjk "snatches the spotlight from genuinely good shows" makes no sense though. That isn't even the case within the magazine Weekly Shonen Jump. If something is good, people will read it. Look at the boom for Kagurabachi, a series that just started and is already loved and continuously in the top 10 of the Jump App. People can read multiple stories at the same time, that's the whole reason these magazines don't just feature one manga. Sure, some really good stories out there are less popular, but that's not because of jjk. JJK being popular doesn't stop me from reading Houseki no Kuni or Monster, mangas that aren't as well known. One Piece or Pokemon aren't stealing anything from jjk, so why would that be the case for jjk and some lesser known manga. There are more complicated reasons for why something is getting less traction than just "series x has gained popularity". And I don't like powerscalers or your average blue checkmark anime fan on twt either, but then just ignore them. They are in every shonen fandom (and seinen and shoujo, although in case of shoujo it's a little different but not less obnoxious). Other fans having shit tastes isn't new or unique to jjk. That's just fandom.

Either way, glad this person moved on to another series, may they be happier there.

[backjustforberena]

i wish we had gotten the immediate reactions to rhaenys’ death. i think it was a beat that was v much missing.

i will say, i think the corlys and baela scene was on of the best of the season. corlys’ grief, and him lashing out in anger, wanting to just be DONE with it all, but not wanting to be home. the home that he shared with rhaenys, with laenor, with laena, because they’re all ghost now, his own failings haunting him. and baela bringing him back from that, bc she IS laena but more importantly, she IS rhaenys, a spitfire woman who is unafraid to tell him when and how he is wrong.

and she was rhaenys ward for six years in his absence, and rhaenys told him time and time again that driftmark should pass through laena’s line. of course she would make a good heir. his offer makes sense, as does her refusal of it.

the ep left some things to be desired (why must we skip past the immediate emotional fallout hotd!?) but i thought that was good. it makes me curious about his next interactions with alyn. and we haven’t even seen him interact with addam yet.

I was not too keen on this episode. After what should have been seen as a massive curveball, turning point, moment of crisis or whatever you want to call it, for all involved, the aftermath was rather... sanitised. A little predictable. A little repetitive in terms of character beats, with no real escalation or sense of urgency, which is sad. And I do think that a lot of that comes down to, as you say the "immediate emotional fallout".

I think that's been a flaw in the writing overall. We've got a lot of these little skips that actually uproot us. It's hard to get inside a character's head and motivation when they are halfway through an action. We don't see what propels them. Only the course they are on. We don't see them meet people, only treat with them. We don't see them receive news, only consider it. And that's disconcerting. You spend half of the scene trying to work out why it's happening, or else wondering nothing at all. Niether strategy promotes worthwhile engagement.

I do think the immediate reaction to Rhaenys's death was missing but I think it was more than that. We also don't have an immediate reaction to the fall of Aegon either. We don't know how that news was imparted or taken. And we should because we need to not know where it's going to go or what the path to take might be - we should see the bloodshed (metaphorically) before we go about cauterising - if nothing else but to feel the effect of a crisis averted. Or a consequence damned.

I loved Corlys and Baela's scene. It felt present. It felt like he was focused on his loss, not just on the war and therefore it came from within himself, rather than outside of himself, as, I felt, was the case in things such as Rhaenyra's reaction (aka the A,B,C of that scene is covering the loss of Rhaenys but ultimately introducing the idea of persuading Corlys as Hand and setting up the Baela and Corlys scene).

I do, however, dislike the alienation between a Velaryon identity and a Targaryen one, especially in Baela ruling herself out of ruling Driftmark, despite her blood claim and her investment in the island, having lived there for years and years.

For all that Baela says that Rhaenys wasn't just Corlys's to lose, branding her only as a Targaryen Princess felt a bit of a disservice as well. You can be both and honour both. You can be Velaryon and Targaryen and if anyone emulated that, to the fullest, it was Rhaenys. She was Lady of the Tides, as much as the Blood of the Dragon. And she took pride in both. It's sad that the writers have gone this way, though I can see why, I suppose. And it was, ultimately, a comparison done to persuade Corlys.

What Baela says to him is what Rhaenys would say. And that's what he sees and responds to. She was so like her grandmother, and her mother. I think that's what prompts him to try and name her heir - to hold onto that which he feels he has lost or is slipping away.

I'm not sure what's next for Corlys. I really enjoyed his grief. I hope we see him exhibit some of that impulsive reaction when he faces Rhaenyra as well. For all Rhaenyra bemoaning her lack of ability to perform any action - asking Corlys to be Hand was something she could have done herself. And, arguably, should have.