#buck quit being a firefighter (for some reason ?? i do not know why)

[icyfox17]

Going on tumblr without having seen the newest 911 ep is like going through a minefield lmfaooo, I'll see a gifset w their faces and have to SCROLLL

I've been pretty good tho thankfully 🤞

[canonicallyobserving911]

Buck & Eddie: Eddie KNOWS Buck!

The title of episode 7x5 is "You don't know me" (it could change) and when I read it, all I could think about is something I haven't been able to forget since 6x4 aired. It was Buck’s conversation with Connor and IMO, it was weird and superficial for REASONS I might explain in a future post.

Anyway, Buck's overall arc in Season 6 was about him trying to be at ease while not making the same mistakes (which started at the end of 5x18). In 6x1, he wanted to be interim captain, then he went on to search for happiness in 6x2 followed by his decision to be Connor's sperm donor in 6x4 and that led to the comment included in the scene below, "I know those things about you". But the question is, does Connor really know Buck? 🤔

Reminder, based on the things that were shown in CANON in 4x5, Buck and Connor never really knew each other. They were acquaintances who met while they were in Peru and that was after Buck left Hershey when Maddie told him to "Go and be happy". During their conversation while Buck was bartending, Connor "suggested" Buck move to L.A. with him and the guys he knew because they were "kind of like a family". It's important to note that Connor said it after he stopped listening to Buck while he was trying to explain something to him.

Who always listens to Buck? EDDIE!

Now on to Season 7.

In the recent TCA interview, with regards to Buck’s self-discovery journey, OS commented that Buck’s sperm donation for his friends "hasn't necessarily played in any kind of conscious way so far" within the first 5 episodes (see below).

So the question is, could Buck tell Connor, "You don't know me!" in a conversation about the baby in 7x5 and it have something to do with Buck’s self-discovery journey? It's possible since as mentioned above, Connor doesn't really know Buck. Let's be real... when Connor reappeared they hadn't seen each other in three years and the attributes Connor mentioned about why he asked him to be his sperm donor instead of him going to a sperm bank aren't necessarily HEREDITARY.

Reminder, Buck likes to make things about himself and he likes to fix things. Therefore, the way things played out in 6A made it seem like he was making things about himself with the sperm donation too.

Here are a few of the comments that have been said to Buck and about him by his family.

In 3x1 and 3x2 (they replayed some of the scene from the end of 3x1 at the beginning of 3x2), Chris said, "You're going to be ok kid" after Buck told him he hopes he finds a job he likes and somethimg that makes him feel like he matters when he grows up. This happened after Buck quit the 118 but before the Tsunami.

In 3x6, Hen told Bobby, "I think Buck makes everything hard on Buck. The boy has two settings... zero and shut up before I smack you". They were discussing Bobby letting Buck work again after the lawsuit.

In 3x9, Eddie said, "So we're making this about you again?" while they were in the kitchen after Buck apologized for the second time following the lawsuit.

In 3x16 Chimney said, "So it's all about you?" when Buck was telling the team about Red.

In 3x16, Maddie said, "So you don't think this business with Red is hitting a little too close to home? A lonely hero firefighter who's pining for his lost love."

In 4x5, Athena said, "You never give up, that's what being Buck means to me" after he stayed in the warehouse fire against orders.

In 5x4, Eddie said, "You're the guy who likes to fix things" after Maddie and Chimney left.

In 6x11, dead Bobby said, "Aww kid, if what matters to you most is the way people see you... then you haven't learned a damn thing" in Buck’s coma dream.

They all know how Buck likes to make things about himself and at various points, they've said it in some form or another. Family won't hesitate to tell the people they love the truth unlike those who want to get what they can then leave like Connor did. And that's one of the reasons why I think Buck didn't talk to anyone about the sperm donation because if he had, they would have told him the truth. He did talk to Hen and even though she didn't discourage him, she did caution him about the possible ramifications of it except he was adamant about doing it and he wouldn't listen to the universe when it kept screaming at him.

Does Connor know Buck? NO!

The person who does know Buck is EDDIE!

Eddie not only knows him, HE SEES HIM! He also listens to him, he takes care of him and he's the one who's been there for him. In 6x1, he helped Buck see another side to Bobby's decision about interim captain. In 6x6, Eddie was the one who reassured him that Karen would be fine without a spleen. The list goes on and on but 9-1-1 made it a point in Season 6 to show the GA that NO ONE knows Buck like Eddie does and that continued even in 6x15 when Buck said that BS about ND seeing him.

No one believed it and it's possible Buck didn't believe it either.

The point of this post is that Buck’s breakdown may finally happen in Season 7 and it might have something to do with the sperm donation 👀.

Reminder, he didn't have one in season 6 even though he died and I think all of these things are related and could lead to it.

If Buck does have a breakdown, who's going to be by his side? EDDIE!

The same way Buck was by Eddie’s side after Eddie’s breakdown.

I said I wasn't going to speculate and I hadn't planned on it but I have so many thoughts about what could trigger Buck’s breakdown and I've been debating whether I'll post them. But I just might now that everything seems to be pointing in that direction.

Will Buck finally breakdown in season 7? Only the showrunner, writers and producers know the answer to that question.

[bish-plz-haha]

I haven't seen any posts about this so I wanna make it; bare with me as I'm not sure my thoughts will be entirely coherent and understandable (this Pennsylvania summer heat got my brain melting, no joke).

So I rewatched the Lightning strike ep and the coma ep, and I found something quite interesting on my watch-through (as well as watching some edits of buddie on tiktok). So I've been thinking: why was everyone else in Buck's coma dream but Eddie. Eddie is one of the closest people to Buck. So why wasn't he there?

I'm not sure if this will make any sense, but the coma ep is basically Buck living out a dream where everything was fine and he grew up with his brother and parents and sister.

Now almost everyone except Eddie and Athena were in his dream. All completely different people: Bobby was an alcoholic and drug addict (at least that seemed my take from the ep), Maddie was still playing happy wife to dickbag, Chim and Hen were friends and firefighters but they had NO CLUE who he was, his parents were actually kinda nice and supportive of him (kill me now. That's nice and all but I hate them so much). And even Chris was there at the end of the ep, though he didn't particularly recognise Buck. He sounded lost, and like he was asking a stranger for help, not his best friend.

Now when 'Daniel' tells Buck when he wakes up, "Next time you go up a ladder, have someone there to spot you." And, as we know, Buck replied with, "I did," we get kinda a quick flashback to the ep previously to kinda remind the audience what happened. We kinda see a quick flash of Eddie hooking him up and hear his voice saying "go get em cowboy" (the implication of that is another thing in and of itself if we're being honest).

Now, why would Eddie not be in Buck's coma dream?

Honestly, with Buck being able to 'remember' he went up the ladder with a spot (AKA Eddie), I don't think he really had a reason to hold on to him. He already remembered him as he was- in uniform, doing his job, and having Buck's back ("You can have my back any day").

He has all these people in his dream because he's trying to hold on to them. To remember who they are, not necessarily how they are, just who. His central nervous system had a jolt and he was clinically dead for 3 minutes (and 17 seconds, courtesy of Eddie counting the time it took for them to get him down and start compressions: you cannot convince me that that man didn't mentally count each passing second from the moment he realised Buck had been struck and was dangling from his safety line to the time he got Buck down and placed onto the stretcher). That's a lot for someone's system to take. His brain lost a lot of oxygen in that time: and, speaking generally, when the heart stops for a good amount of time (being about 2 and a half minutes or more since the brain can take only about 5 minutes without oxygen before permanent brain damage without CPR), the chemical makeup starts to change because your brain is basically sending signals to the body that it may be dying and it might be time to shut down the body too. To go into a permanent slumber (hence the "superpowers," which is a real thing. Though a lot of people, including myself (it's my fun fact about myself: surprise! I've died), develop a "sixth sense" if you will).

So back to my main point; why Eddie wasn't in the coma dream.

Buck's subconscious already remembered Eddie. He may not have remembered his face or anything, but he most definitely remembers him. He remembers key things about him. There's no need for Buck's brain to conjure up a version of Eddie because he's already significant enough. He is the only one we hear and see that Buck actually remembers being there for him. The shot they replayed as his memory was solely of Eddie and himself. Yes, Chim was in the background but he wasn't the focus of the shot. He was barely visible. And, again, we only hear Eddie's voice.

Idk maybe I'm crazy thinking about this but I'm at work, I'm bored. And it's been on my mind for a few days now.

[extasiswings]

Waittt what’s the reasoning behind buck quitting being a firefighter?

So obviously this is just me speculating, but the Buck/Abby parallels have been very loud in my mind since S3. And I just went back and rewatched 3x18, including their final conversation on the bench, which made some wheels start turning.

Because Abby's explanation for leaving was that she had become someone whose life wasn't her own, she made it about everyone else. As a first responder, about the people on calls, at home, about her mom. She had made her life all about taking care of other people and in order to find herself (including being able to find the love of her life), she had to leave. Her job, Buck, the city. And what she said that stuck with me was that the reason she didn't come back, why she was afraid to come back, was because she thought that if she did she would fall right back into the same habits and lose herself again.

We've never gotten (in my view) an explanation for Buck wanting to be a firefighter that isn't tied up in mountains of self-worth issues and trauma. All of 3A was about him feeling like he was nothing without the job, because saving lives is the only way he feels like he has value (which, now that we know about it, goes back to the Daniel of it all). He has made his life about other people, and we've seen him stuck in this cycle - he'll be forced to step away from the job and/or he'll take some other small step towards healing, but then he'll go back and immediately fall back into his old habits. And meanwhile, he's trying to find happiness, but even his "year of yes" has ironically been defined not by doing something for himself, but by giving pieces of himself away so someone else can have a baby.

But he died. And more to the point, he died on the job. And he's not okay. And part of why I think it could be argued that he's not okay is because he's not really processing, not really healing, is still defining himself at least in part by what he can do for other people (even though accepting that he needed to live for himself/couldn't just be the guy who fixes things is what got him out of the coma) because that's what being a firefighter has been about for him from the beginning - a way to feel needed, a way to feel valued, a way to feel loved. But part of his healing journey is about truly accepting (not just incrementally like in the coma dream) in real life that he is more than that. Abby's fear that if she came back she would lose herself again? Is exactly what Buck has been doing. And as Dr. Salazar pointed out, one of the things some people do when they die is quit their job...or go to Italy...(both of which Abby did)...and to me, unlike Eddie who quit and came back because it was where he truly wanted to be, I just have a feeling that Buck's journey could be more than that. Could be realizing that the family he's built with all of them, the way he's loved, none of that would go away just because they stop working together (and, frankly, them no longer working together is inevitable - Bobby's going to retire eventually, Chim and Hen should both be Captains someday and it can't be at the same house, if Buck and Eddie start dating they could very well not be allowed to work together...etc etc), and that he can do something else...idk, it's something I'm mulling over.

(Also, something about Buck being a teacher in his coma dream...his subconscious making him a teacher in an imaginary world where Daniel had lived...yeah...thinking thoughts)

[whateverthedragonswant]

If 911 was a fanfic or book I was reading and Buddie got together in only Chapter 7 after some great development in the first 6 chapters and putting the pieces into place, I personally would be pretty disappointed. We may think we want Buddie right now but if we got it tomorrow, how would you actually feel? A temporary elation? Once that get together happens and we see a little domesticity and figuring things out like how to tell Christopher and their coworkers, how to deal being in danger at work on the same shift, how they feel about moving in together, dates, all of it -- where would they go from there? What more could they explore? How would it come into play on the same shift of the 118 over and over again? When one of them or both is in danger over and over again? It runs the risk of things becoming stale very quickly, because of how build-up that has been worked into their stories (and joint story) in the last six seasons.

I don't know if anyone has ever talked about this before but one thing Bathena, Madney, and Henren have in common is that they don't work the same job/shift. Something that has been remarked on before by Oliver or Tim I believe in earlier seasons (in reference to Buck's relationships with Taylor and having that person outside of the 118). Things can intersect sometimes like for Madney or Bathena but ultimately, there's a line there. Talk of all sexuality comments aside for a second, Buck and Eddie do not have that line yet. They did in season 5 for a bit but it didn't work out for Eddie too well (and neither were even close to being ready in the story line for anything more than friendship/family then). So had Buck actually taken Tommy up on his offer to train so he could do both the 118 and the air rescue, that could have been another line that got them closer.

However, saying that, there are still parallels running between Bathena, Madney, Henren, and Buddie still. There is a reason Buck is hooking up with a firefighter for his first boyfriend (yes, I heard Tommy was originally going to be with Eddie first, doesn't change why Tim decided to go with Tommy as thee guy) who is not in the 118.

And Eddie may be "heterosexual" (I don't think Ryan's comments were meant to be taken as some of them have been taken btw, I think he was talking about the moment of Buck's coming out and how important that was), but there's no viable explanation for why Eddie didn't like or got jealous of Buck's other girlfriends (Abby, Taylor) while barely interacting with the others once they started dating Buck (Ali, Natalia). And now, Buck is in a relationship with a man and Eddie is beyond cool with it, no jealousy or dislike. Tommy got the approval before Eddie either knew he would be dating Buck and Eddie isn't even thinking twice about it. Quite a turnaround considering his history with Buck's former flames, wouldn't you say?

And let's not forget that Buck has basically had the same (paralleled) thing going on with Eddie's relationships with women. He had no problem with Eddie dating any of these women but he never interacted with Shannon, he wouldn't even look at Ana, and he barely interacted with Marisol (after she and Eddie began dating). ...kind of makes you think, doesn't it?

Let's just let their story unfold organically. It will be a much better payoff when/if it happens, trust me. And you will enjoy the show that much more.

Hang in there.

P.S. The symbolism of coffee, pizza, popcorn, and beer are still very much a thing. *wink*

[missmagooglie]

Ok, let's talk about the Couch Metaphor. Because on the surface, it's about romantic relationships, right? "My last two couches came with girlfriends"/"You mean your last two girlfriends came with couches".

But it's not just about Buck being single and wary of seeking a new relationship. Because when Bobby finally talks to Buck about the interim captain job, Buck's first question is "is this because I don't have a couch?" That's a discussion about Buck as a firefighter. It's about his career. His relationship status has no bearing on whether he is ready to take on additional responsibilities at work. But the couch isn't just about his love life, it's about finding a sense of fulfillment and contentment in his life overall. What the couch really represents is Buck's happiness. What he's looking for is something that will give him that sense of being able to look at his life and feel at ease the way that Bobby talked to him about.

If the couch was just about romance, there would have been no narrative reason for Margaret Buckley to insist on buying him a short lived replacement, or for Kameron to spectacularly ruin said replacement by giving birth on it. Those are two (three?) relationships in Buck's life that are decidedly not romantic, yet they are inarguably linked with the Couch Metaphor.

Buck is paralyzed by the idea of choosing a couch for himself. His insistence that he doesn't "want to pick the wrong couch again" belies the fact that he has never actually picked a couch before. Someone else picked his two previous couches for him. Just like Margaret did after the lightning strike, and just like he asked Natalia to do in the S6 finale.

The couch is not about Buck choosing the right partner for his happily ever after - which is why I honestly don't think him asking Natalia to go couch shopping with him at the end of S6 was the conclusion of the Couch Metaphor. He's found a girl, he likes her, but he is repeating past mistakes. He's asking her to help him pick a couch rather than having the self assurance to choose a couch that is right for him. He's still relying on other people to tell him what happiness looks like.

And to be honest, I think the show has pretty explicitly told us that the "right couch" has been there all along. Buck spent season six preoccupied with how other people define happiness, with what other people think he needs. From his self help book phase to Lev at the happiness convention to talking with Dr Salazar post-lightning strike, he's very explicitly looking for someone to just tell him the answer about what he should want and how he should feel and what he needs to do to get there.

There is one time this season that he outright rejects someone else's idea of what it is he needs, and that's when he flees his own apartment and the neverending train of well-wishers "just checking in" on Maddie's meticulously arranged schedule, and flees to a familiar blue couch where he is immediately comfortable and at ease. Because here's the thing; the canon Buddie of it all aside, Eddie and Christopher are Buck's family. They are the source of the happiness and ease that will allow Buck to feel that he is leading a fulfilling life. And reciprocally, Buck is the partner Eddie has been looking for so that he isn't moving through life alone.

But season six kind of ended in this place where neither of them is quite ready to see what they are to each other. They both think that there is something they've been missing, something they have to go seek out elsewhere. In some ways, I think they're both caught up in the notion that finding what they're looking for is supposed to be hard, that it's supposed to be some great journey that leads them to something new rather than just looking up at your best friend and gently realizing "Everything I want I already have with you".

And I know that starts to sound a bit like "Natalia isn't the right couch because Eddie is the right couch" like it's purely about a romantic relationship, but it truly and genuinely is more than that. Because Buck's couch metaphor is also about Buck accepting a horribly uncomfortable couch his mother picked out being a metaphor for her not knowing how to love him and grieve Daniel at the same time so she did both poorly, and Buck being willing to accept the little bit of love she managed to offer even if it was ill-fitting and abrasive. It's also a metaphor about how Buck's biological son was born on the Wrong Couch because he wasn't Buck's to keep, but Christopher fell asleep on the Right Couch in a perfect mirror of Buck because Buck's link to Chris through love is stronger than his link to Connor and Kameron's son through blood. And it's also just about Buck looking outward to find happiness and fulfillment instead of taking stock of what he already has. It's about him understanding that finding the kind of ease Bobby was talking about comes from acceptance and understanding rather than transformation. Buck doesn't need anything new to be happy, he needs to understand what he already has.

[outrunningthedark]

joined the 911 fandom few months back and…has it always been this annoying or did something shift recently. someone on twt said maybe mehta coming back doesnt have anything to do w buddie at all and now they are getting cooked for “raining on people’s parade and being a negative nancy for no reason” …. this whole cycle of setting expectations and bullying people for not having the same enthusiasm then getting annoyed that the tv show isnt delivering the same expectation you set is just so annoying??? glad that your blog exists and you exist because this fandom is in heavy NEED of rational minded people 😭🫶🏽

I've been actively involved in fandom since the start of s4 (was a lurker in s3) and from my perspective...things get worse as the seasons continue! In s4, there was *some* hope for canon!Buddie, but Ana came back into the picture and TayKay soon followed so expectations were lowered (because we didn't know how long they'd stick around). Thennn...the shooting happened. Plus the change in guardianship. People were on board again AND we were introduced to even more new fans who couldn't believe "the gay firefighters" weren't together yet. Season five? Eddie breaks up with Ana, Buck breaks up with TayKay..."If Buddie not canon then why did they break up with their girlfriends?" And now season six is about how "all signs point to canon Buddie" no matter what happens. (ie They were convinced Eddie would be a big part of Buck in the coma to hint at feelings and when he wasn't they changed their theories to "explain" why his absence was a good thing; same with the sperm donor arc - all that non-communication was going to pay off once Eddie confronted Buck about a decision he didn't think through and now the lack of 6A content is going unmentioned because Oliver has (twice) emphasized that there's nothing for Buck to come to grips with, he knew what he was doing when he said yes.) I think the fandom just really, really wants to be right about this one thing for two reasons: 1. It would be a game-changer. How many fans of a queer ship can say that they got the endgame they wanted? Furthermore, how many can say their canon ship started out with two straight characters who fell in love over time because a show thought that made the better story? (Not the SPN fandom, that's for sure. They're some of the biggest naysayers you'll find around here because "I've been where you are." Mind you, most us are old af and remember a time when queer ships stayed in fandom spaces because TV shows wouldn't dare take the risk of alienating audiences.) 2. Having Buddie go canon is an opportunity to get back at any and everyone who doesn't believe it'll happen; the ultimate "I told you so!" victory lap.

I do agree with the fandom when it comes to keeping opinions out of other people's inboxes unless they're open to reading it (obviously me :P), but expressing an opinion on your own page (whether that be twitter or tumblr) is what having a social media account in a fandom is for. You don't have to agree with the person. You don't even have to read it. But you can't stop them from feeling how they feel. And quite frankly, while having hope is nice to see (I do, too!), some people could use a reality check. We're not in the writers' room. We don't know what the writing staff is really thinking when they come up with stuff. Even when Kristen makes comments and Oliver gives his perspective, the fandom calls them "liars" or twists their words to fit a narrative that makes for (what they think is) a better outcome. They'll also advise people not to read the articles, but...nobody actually lies in those because they don't give away all that much information, and the information they do give is to tell fandom when things aren't about Buddie, lmao. Kristen said the coma arc was about Bobby and Chim and there fandom was hyping up Eddie's importance only to realize she meant what she said. Oliver says Eddie going after Buck in 6x10 isn't hinting at anything and they're envisioning feelings realizations at Buck's bedside, which never came. They're TELLING fandom to not get its hopes up right now and the speculation has only gone deeper into "this can't be about anything other than Buddie" because everyone is too invested to turn back now.

As for Captain Mehta - I have my own theories about this. Could his presence bring about a mention of the shooting? Yep. Could his presence inspire another conversation? Yep. But *why* him and *why* he finally has a first name? 1. Is everyone at that table supposed to call him Captain Mehta or just Mehta? Nobody knows him on a personal level? 2. Is it possible that throwing some third no-name/relatively unknown firefighter into the scene (along with Capt. Williams and possibly Julie) does nothing to gauge the audience's interest? At least the audience will remember Mehta and there's a connection between him and both halves of Buddie whereas we've seen Julie in limited quantities (and not even as one of their friends off the job) and Miranda Williams was last seen in early s4.

I'm not saying him being back can't be the precursor to important things, but people also thought the Buckleys were coming back after two years so their kids could yell at them some more and they would decline to be with their son in the hospital (why else would they have returned right then, duh!) and we all saw how that turned out. This fandom loves to say "Bestie, you're watching a FOX procedural" on the ~discourse~ days while routinely ignoring the fact that we're watching a FOX procedural. Sometimes what you see really is what you get when the show runners are (currently) pandering to an audience that includes everyone but us.

[cringefaildiaz]

Can I get your opinion on something? how do you feel about Ravi lately. Because I’m happy we’re seeing more of him but I also feel like they kinda gave up on giving him his own personality? Last season he was his own person: he was an introvert, a bit shy and hesitant but still competent and emphatic. and now he’s. well. He’s Buck. All jokes and random facts. last episode every time he spoke (especially at some point when he said statistics about something i don’t remember) I found myself thinking “that’s something Buck would say”. Idk it’s probably a me problem (i read an interview where they said “he’s gonna butt heads with buck because now he’s the cheeky one” so I’m probably focused on that), we still don’t know much about him and it takes me at least a few episodes to understand characters. Hoping we’ll see more of his backstory (praying for a Ravi begins) and his relationships with other characters and I’ll be able to get him better.

It’s important to me that you (and everyone else) know that you can literally always ask my opinion on anything. Anytime. I love saying words.

Honestly, I never was part of the Ravi fan brigade (tho I’m really happy that he’s back) so my thoughts on who he is as a character are kinda ?!?!?!. His re-intro was phenomenal I thought, a great little retroactive explanation of where he’s been and why he’s been there—with the level of emotional depth that 911 is so good at giving.

I thought his “are you sure that’s a good idea”/“I did tell you it was a bad idea” this past ep felt on brand for him, but I also didn’t really clock his characterization that much in seasons past, beyond him being sort of hesitant in a way that made sense for a new kid Buck was harassing at every turn lmao. Moving him away from that hesitance now that he’s developed professionally makes a lot of sense to me, but again, I’m no Ravi scholar.

I like the idea of him being somewhat Buck-like but maybe a little more…grounded? Like as the newest member and also the one that’s existed outside the 118 in the LAFD, it’s kinda fun to have him side eying the team. I definitely didn’t read his characterization in this most recent ep quite as Buck-like as you did, but I get the concern. They both kinda emanate little-brother energy and I would hate to see Ravi turn into a Buck-redux.

I do think 911 is trying to prep for the next stage in the show tho, and bringing Ravi back is a key play in that imo. Like, clearly Buck is in the homestretch on the emotional journey he’s been on since s1, which presumably means getting linked up with his ~forever person~ in the next season or so. And reintroducing Ravi and giving him some familiar, Buck-like character traits might be their way of moving Ravi into that “star single hot firefighter” role Buck’s been filling for 6 seasons. Not to be Buck round 2, but to hint hint nudge nudge at the audience that he’s gonna step up into a similar role narratively; youngest on the team, still finding his footing in the 118 AND in the world. I think that’s a big reason we got the fire academy setting too, with named characters who had really distinct personalities despite having so little screentime—they need to be ready to sub in some new firefighters if they want this show to run much longer, whether the main cast stays after contract renewals next season or not.

That’s all massive speculation from me, but I just cannot get the idea out of my head that they’re readying themselves for the next phase of 911, and you mentioning Ravi’s characterization being reminiscent of Buck just kinda. Slots right in with that crackpot theory of mine.

[kellykadesperate]

hi hey!! :3 i am back lolol <3

i SCREAM, the fast and furious comparison LMAO. you are so so right, i cannot unthink this now djdjdjdjd. it's sad because both Fast and 911 started out pretty good but then just went on. and on. and on. i really wonder how long 911 will actually stay until they realize that they've completely overshot it. your reply made me think more about the family dynamics in the show. in the first season specifically, we actually had a setup with the main characters (except hen, i think) who, in some way or another, were or at least felt kinda alone? the show being about found family made a lot of sense for all characters back then. however, they simply are at a completely different point 5 seasons later that it just falls flat. you're right, all of them got their own family units outside of work now, all of them do sm better mentally and emotionally, and none of them feel as connected to each other anymore because of that (and maybe because the necessity for it simply does not exist any longer). so why go on with this shtick? then again, isn't that also true for 911 LS, with them having family outside of their crew? however, somehow it feels different to me, and i think i can pinpoint the reason: 911 LS actually invested time to build up friendships on screen and continuously makes an effort to show the characters bonding, so i truly believe it when they say that they are friends. with OG 911, they are "family", but i do not really feel it anymore? i do not wanna sound too harsh but it's simply my current feelings. family does not automatically equal being close, and i think the show has lost the plot a bit with actually, yk, showing us that these characters are real true friends who would hang out even if you removed all other family ties. i cannot for the life of me recall a reason why buck and chim, hen and eddie, eddie and maddie etc would actually hang out if they weren't "connected" by work or some pre-existing family ties.

ohhh, i completely forgot about the whole firefighter albert thing. it came out of nowhere, and i was mostly just ??? about it, though excited to see him being a reoccurring character! alas, that bubble burst quickly, like with all other secondary/side characters that seemed promising at first and then petered out :(. i liked the fact that he did not enjoy the job as much as chim! to me, it felt a bit like chim was maybe trying to connect to albert through the job the way that he himself connected to kevin in the past? the idea would add some depth, especially if albert still chooses to do something else in his life and has to communicate why firefighting might simply not be for everybody. i would like to see how this plays out but i want to be really honest... i am not even sure i won't just skip past any of that even if we get it. at this point, the majority of the show feels very inconsequential, i cannot really bring myself to invest energy in truly liking side characters (i am mostly just indifferent), and the writing is often quite wonky and unsatisfactory anyway, so my own headcanons or speculations usually end up being more interesting to me in comparison sksksksks. i do not expect a real moment of clarity and it leading to anything substantial so i just (shrug emoji).

everything appears heightened but ultimately is so so low stakes and so easily solvable. exactly this. i can enjoy some silly drama shows with stakes so low that they are on the ground, just to be clear, but the show must know to not take itself so damn seriously at the very least. i think 911 kinda fails at that – it wants to be so deep but like, we're standing in a kiddie pool right now, good sir, calm down LOL.

I feel like the show would genuinely benefit from a shock death or something that would change everything completely … Idk I just feel like sometimes the very slightest change is seen as devastating to the group lmao. yes and an even bigger YES to those two points! i think it needs some new goal, and one new goal could be bobby leaving (for traumatic reasons or not) and somebody else stepping up as captain permanently, or it could be something entirely different. i did not and still do not think that they'll have the guts to actually do it, though, so i was not worried a single second about the finale of season 6 or at any other point. especially when looking at the second thing you pointed out: the show cannot even be normal about depicting the normalest changes in life lmfao. this is also connected to how you said that the "additions to the team" feel "calculating" - yes yes yes. the show just desperately wants to drive home the fact that the only Good Team of the 118 fire station is the main characters. everybody else cannot understand them because they're actually normal about their job ig. everybody else is just accessory to establish this fact again, and again, and again. and that's kinda the crux of the show's problem: when you establish the fact that literally nobody could ever truly fit into or enrich their current family dynamic, meaning that the family dynamic is not allowed to change permanently ever, you know that none of these characters are allowed to go anywhere. otherwise, you'd lose the one point you're trying to bring across with the show. so going in circles forever it is!

It makes both characters really unlikable and I know there's a bigger narrative at play in both characters but that's not explored enough. 10000% with you on this topic. i'd loooove to both of them to just... stay single for at least a whole season or longer with zero interest in dating. mostly because i think the show would genuinely not know what to do with buck and eddie if it wasn't pushing them into their next romantic endeavor that they are not ready for every damn season. and that is OKAY, for them not to be ready! all i need is for the show to acknowledge that not-dating is not some disease that will make them die a miserable, pathetic, lonely death! i challenge 911 to give them friends and hobbies instead and actually build a life and story for these characters that is not painfully amatonormative pls pls pls. i agree with what you said: these characters have more overarching stories but the show simply doesn't drive those storylines purposefully enough. we do see development here and there (buck choosing his one-person armchair and being happy with it, i.e. he deliberately chooses to stay single over being with someone who does not accept who he is; eddie truly confronting his past trauma for the first time and finally going to therapy, realizing that he should create a good life for his own sake) but it all still ends in romance anyways. which, yk, would not feel so bad and flat to me if the complete lack of other meaningful things in their lives wouldn't be so evident at this point.

your reply actually reminded me again of all the times i enjoyed 911 LS more than OG 911 simply because they understood the assignment when it comes to writing solid friendships and how they are supposed to look like! indeed, the setup of them all coming together as strangers was very interesting, a "clean slate" for all, and there were so many moments where they all just. hang out. just chilling and vibing together. in the gym and the bunk room and at carlos' place etc! i can still remember so many scenes where it felt like they are friends not because they work together – they met through work, yes, but they make a conscious effort outside of the work context to stay close/become closer! gah, this makes me wanna catch up with the show again :')

ah yes, owen strand. in all honesty, i did not like the choice of him being such a big focus point either. the real strength truly lies in all the other characters, who all really bring something to the table. i was honestly invested in all their stories because they seemed to have something outside of work that is integral to their identity, and that just stands out positively in comparison to OG 911, where the characters' contribution to the narrative and society seems to be mostly linked to their job, and their relationships are also mostly tied through their jobs. 911 LS generally focusing more on the characters' uniqueness, no matter if it's their race, religion, culture, disabilities, or any queer topics, relativizes the importance of their jobs without overshadowing it. yes, they do incredibly essential work for society, and they love doing what they do, but they all have some things in their lives that are much more essential to them as people. taking away their uniforms only reveals how these characters' lives are not solely defined by their jobs, which i cannot really say for the OG 911 characters.

It's made things actually feel like choices genuinely matter. true!! tk becoming a paramedic is a wonderful example, but also so many other things. how the strands moved from nyc to texas, how the other characters (except judd) also moved to texas, as one pivotal point of the show. owen explicitly chose these firefighters to form a new crew because they were successful in the job before coming to texas, telling us that (a) they were accomplished adults before the new "found family" was even established and (b) were still able to recreate that success as a newly formed team. that sounds like the kind of take on found family that i would want to see depicted in OG 911 as well, and it also immediately sets up a certain freedom for the characters to make permanent, life-changing decisions that are allowed to be for the better. much unlike OG 911, where everything that challenges or remodels the found family must always be Bad™. also the fact that these choices get made and actually change the course of a character's career or life is so important for my enjoyment. they get a chance to show that they support each other through these changes and that these changes do not have to negatively affect their friendships. THAT is how a healthy found family should work imo.

interesting to compare these two. the shows are somehow alike but so so so different. btw do you watch any shows that you think are better than 911 and 911 LS regarding the points of criticism that we've discussed? :O i am currently looking for new shows to try out, but idk what the next thing could be. i definitely need something that is overall more well-written than 911 to cleanse my palate, though, LOL. recs are appreciated but no pressure <3

hey hey!

i cannot for the life of me recall a reason why buck and chim, hen and eddie, eddie and maddie etc would actually hang out if they weren't "connected" by work or some pre-existing family ties - OH THIS. I think with 911ls they make a thing of like hangouts and being silly and I also like how Judd is never there lmao. Judd has a wife and children and that again makes a lot of sense. He loves his team but they're not his family. He has strong friendships but he goes home to his wife. A lot of the crew are around the same age, and have similar interests and so that makes sense. With 911 they're not close in that sense, and we don't see them close in that sense despite being very involved in each other's personal life lol. They're all settled and content in some way or another and that makes characters like Buck stand out because he's not. And in comparison therefore: he's messy. He's poor little has no clue what he wants Buck in a way that feels like they're almost laughing at him lmao. So yeah that seems like a big difference between the shows/characters. Saying that though, I do think although 911ls show that they're more like friends, we see a lot less of the in-depth talks/chat 1:1 friendship stuff we have on 911 so it's all a mixed bag.

the majority of the show feels very inconsequential, i cannot really bring myself to invest energy in truly liking side characters - yep yep yep, i love side characters who break up some of the big tension of the show and for a show like 911 bringing in new characters should be fairly easy. I always forget that Eddie isn't an OG S1 character. But yes, when there's such investment in the core characters it obviously falls at the complete expense of any side characters they have attempted to build on.

i think 911 kinda fails at that – it wants to be so deep but like, we're standing in a kiddie pool right now - LOOL yes. I do think a lot of it comes down to having good serious actors on the show and wanting to lead into the drama they can bring and it's all well and good but at the same time, I really think the show thrives when it's silly. Some of the most memorable episodes have been the full moon one, the oceans 11 type one etc. It's fun and silliness is really just ... fun and silly ! It makes it what it is. If it wants to be dramatic, give me drama with lifelong consequences.

everybody else cannot understand them because they're actually normal about their job ig - IDK why but I just find this so funny. It really is just ... a job, a rewarding remarkable, amazing job. It just feels weird when they really hammer home how close the crew are and important they are but really don't show them all hanging out for extended periods of time. In fact they make a point of showing them hanging out separately: Chimney and Hen, Buck and Eddie, Hen and Athena even. It's just a choice!

genuinely not know what to do with buck and eddie if it wasn't pushing them into their next romantic endeavour - Like??? I was fully convinced Kameron was going to try and kiss Buck or something, I still kinda think they'll go there because ... why not!

but it all still ends in romance anyways - Yeah exactly this. I think without them meaning to it sets some sort of tone that doesn't feel ... nice? It feels like 'now he is content with being happy/working on himself he will have a romantic partner to top it all off' and like yes I get it was the finale but it does feel like going round and round in circles with both of them. Either give them permeant girlfriends they genuinely like lmao and build on that fully or just have them be single and explore their life a bit more. The whole destined to be alone, unloved, I'll never find someone who knows me is just ... I'm sick of it and makes both characters feel like they actually don't know what they want. I really did laugh when Buck was like Natalia sees me for me, she SEES me and it was like?? is this the writers telling us she's the one?? Or were we supposed to pick up on that? Like are we supposed to pay attention to this woman? Because look what happened with Taylor

it felt like they are friends not because they work together – they met through work - Oh my god yes. Yes. That's it. It's the idea that they genuinely enjoy each other's company/admire each other and want to hang around after work to continue seeing each other. It's sweet. I even remember when they did a mini sl about Nancy feeling like she wasn't part of the crew and made a point of being like: Is she invited to hangouts? No. Let's invite her. It also makes the idea of them invested in each other's lives seem a little truer, more authentic rather than them hearing about snippets of things on the way to calls (I don't think they've ever done that set up the way 911 do)

911 LS generally focusing more on the characters' uniqueness - Yeah! Obviously when you have a show with loads of cast members it's tricky to find some sort of difference to make them stand out, have them all shine and I think the show has got better at allocating sl's because the first 2 seasons were so Owen centric and he still manages to worm his way into sl's but at least there's an effort to have sl's completely separate from him.

telling us that (a) they were accomplished adults before the new "found family" was even established and (b) were still able to recreate that success as a newly formed team - THIS. They are adults. They had a job interview/were recruited because they had something special and we as an audience got to see that straight away, and see that in action. IDK I just think it's a lot easier to let your audience see a group of friends grow into a family than start by showing them THIS IS THE FIREFAM FAMILY

they support each other through these changes and that these changes do not have to negatively affect their friendships - I think a good example of this (again don't read if you haven't seen s3) but the end of s2 shows that the firehouse is effectively shut down, and they all have to go their separate ways and it just shows a nice way of moving these characters along but not damaging ties they still have. It was a really nice/interesting take and was genuinely surprising/made me think how are they going to get out of this?

I don't know about recs that are the same vibe but I would definitely recommend: Severance, Succession, Abbott Elementary (they're all so so different but amazing writing!)

[shallicomparetheetolagrenouille]

Sorry for disappearing again right after writing to you, I lost the habit of checking my Tumblr account regularly and excuses, excuses, excuses- I have been lazy, there is no other reason.

Anyway, I think that the reason why I click with ships and fandoms (when the main reason I am in them is the ship) is.. a lack of something. I mean, there is potential in the show or movie, but because of budget limitations or time constraints or the author/creator's disinterest in going deeper into a certain topic or storyline, I feel that there is a gap to be filled - and I usually turn to fic, for that.

911 is actually a series I used to watch mainly for Chim, with Hen in second place. I never shipped anyone in it, in terms of going looking for fics, I was just invested in the Chim/Maddie postpartum mayhem storyline and hoped to see Hen and her wife survive anything and everything please, but aside from that it was just guilty pleasure TV that for some reason tired me out at a certain point and I stopped watching it - the only reason I mentioned fic for this series is also the way in which I found out about Buck's wonderful bi self-discovery, that is: one of my favoryte 911LS fic authors started posting Tommy/Buck fics! :P The funny part is that I only know Tommy through the flashback episodes in who-knows-which-season about Chim and Hen being hired at the 118 - his 'present self' is only a character I know through Liminalmemories's fics and, to be quite honest, I am quite attached to that guy and am quite worried about trying to catch up with the show and find out he's not the same person. What a first world problem!

911LS is a show I started watching because of the cross-over episode with 911 about wildfires and I remembered seeing gifsets (ah, those carefree always-on-Tumblr-at-least-once-a-day times!) of the firefighters shielding Marjan from cameras when she lost her veil in the great corn avalanche of S01. Shipping Carlos/TK was a complete surprise, they are not my type of ship, usually. I mean, a canon relationship? That I ship? How?? And yet here I was (and am), reading meet-cute AUs and baseball AUs and firefighter!Carlos AUs and whole missing scenes from all seasons and fics with no smut at all! I am not at all used to having such a sweet canon couple I ship, they are so devoted to each other.. I am so getting older, where is the whole my-family-is-dead-and-it-is-all-my-fault half of it?

Anyway, I am doing OK, I have a house all my own and a job I tolerate, good friends that think about me and interests old and new - among which is reading fic during said job. :P

Hello Dr. Trill, how are you? I'm just leaving you this ask because I have not been on Tumblr much since January, but I found out today that you joined me down the slippery slope of 911LS and 911 fandom (though I stopped watching the latter a couple of years ago and am only reading fics) and it's just nice to know that we still share the same criteria for finding potential in a ship, it feels nostalgic! :P Would you like fic recs or are you good?

Ciaooooooo tesoro mio! It's been too long.

Oh my gosh yes I'm so deep down this rabbithole now, I'm writing so much garbage fic over it. I love that we're still on that overlapping wavelength - so funny how over more than a literal decade we can still go - yes, this. YES YOU GET IT!

Carlos and TK own my whole heart right now, oh my gosh. I'm obsessed. I'm about ready to make myself a supercut of the show where it's only scenes that are relevant to them lololol but I won't because I still love everyone else so much too like Nancy is my girl and jfc we get GINA TORRES I'm dead. Bur Carlos and TK dear god, I'm so deep in writing fic about them I'm literally forgetting to eat some days. I'm scouring scenes for background details. I'm writing stupid meta over clothing choices reflecting Carlos's emotional state. So ridiculous but honestly so fun.

And the whole Buck/Tommy thing took me OUT man, it's so fucking funny, I know I'm a late join to this fandom but I didn't even know it was coming. I just heard people talking about how they were excited Buck was bi, and I saw a few Buck/Eddie gifsets and genuinely assumed that was the canon ship. More interesting to me was all the talk about how we were missing out if we didn't already know that Hen was a hot badass lesbian firefighter so I was like - shit I'll check that out just for that part actually. So I did, and of course I adore Hen and Chim and Maddie and - ok just everyone - and was casually like, yeahh I see why people ship Buck/Eddie, does not vibe for me but I see it, that's nice they got their canon ship... and then I get to S7 and TOMMY shows back up and meets Buck and I bluescreen for a while because ohhhhhk yes, this is the chemistry for me. Yes.

So yeah, in the end I don't ship Buck/Eddie like... at all really. I feel the way about it that I do about Steve/Bucky which is basically... the way I feel about my childhood best friend who is also queer and who I love profoundly and intimately and not like a sister but also not like a lover y'know?

But I will always take recs my darling! Even when I don't ship it, I love all the characters so much regardless so if it's great I'll read it. And tell me what you love about your favorite characters and fav ships! So nice to hear from you and I hope you're doing well!

[kitkatpancakestack]

Top 5 favorite buddie scenes

Anon you come into my house......

Okay *deep breaths* I'll do my best:

5.) 3x12 (Fools) - Co-Parenting Firefighters

This scene (and the skateboarding family montage at the end) is so good. Eddie literally comes to Buck's apartment for what appears to explicitly be to ask his advice on Chris. Why is this insane? Because through the course of the episode, people have been offering him advice, and he's been all I hear you but it isn't quite right and so he goes to Buck like a partner seeking out the one other person who gets their kid as much as they do, and wouldn't you know it, Buck shows up for him exactly the way Eddie needs.

4.) 2x03 (Help Is Not Coming) - Enter The Buckley-Diaz Family Unit

How can you not love this scene? The whole ending montage of this episode is people returning home to their loved ones, and the show gives us this. It is kind of the moment that started it all, the first time we get these three in the same frame, and we see Buck looking at the Diaz boys with this expression on his face like wow I want that, I want to protect that, I want to keep that, and Buck has been a fixture in the Diaz household ever since.

3.) 4x14 (Survivors) - Eddie Baby-Traps Buck

I don't think I'll ever stop spiraling about this scene. The way Eddie wraps up Buck's entire arc and puts a bow on it. The way he sees right to the core of Buck's being, in a way nobody else has or probably ever will. The way he puts himself on the line for Buck emotionally, puts himself out on the ledge in the way Buck needs him to, just to make him understand how much he is needed and loved. And that look they share at the end. Besties don't look at besties that way is all I'm saying.

2.) 4x05 (Buck Begins) - The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known

It's such a small blink-and-you-miss-it scene, but one of the most important between the two by far. Consider the entirety of Buck's storyline, especially in this episode. He's just wandering around screaming for a place to belong, for people who know and understand him, for people to see him and love him. Of course the firefam does, that's a given. They're his family. But there is also a reason Eddie was given the spousal treatment and allowed a separate fucking scene at the end, explicitly meant to highlight the intimate way in which he understands Buck, and the implications that maybe he fits a little differently into the picture than everybody else. Also he is so sOfT. wtf.

1.) 3x03 (The Searchers) - Wait For Me To Come Home

Literally, iconically, beautifully, the first tip of the domino that started the entire cascade. Before this moment it was all maybe and could be and depends on interpretation, but this truly felt like the moment when things between Buck and Eddie just started careening toward some unseen destination. The implications of "wait for me to come home" playing before Eddie knocks on the door, the first instance we see of someone (and Eddie continues to demonstrate this) truly understanding and seeing Buck. And not just that, but equating Buck's love for Christopher to his own, laying his heart in Buck's hands, trusting Buck with Chris above anybody else, not even hesitating with the ferocity of this devotion. Absolutely unhinged and untouchable.

This was so hard because they have so many good moments, small and large, but these stuck out to me almost immediately, so I guess that means something. Thanks for the ask, anon, however painful it was! <3

[stagefoureddiediaz]

Question for you with all of your neutrality in regards to Lucy. If they do keep her around for next season do you think it’ll then be possible for them to develop her and Buck and essentially set them up as a couple next season?

Hey Nonnie

I really don't think it's possible to develop her as a love interest for Buck - any possibility of that happening disappeared as soon as they made the decision to have them kiss in 5x11.

The writers room have made some very clear and deliberate choices with Lucy - they are intelligent people who know how television and television audiences work - they are fully aware that the introduction they gave Lucy wouldn’t go down well with the general audience or with fandom but they clearly did it for a reason. 

For me (and this is purely speculation on my part) they chose this path because they wanted to set up an explosive end to Bucks relationship with Taylor and to make her exit from the show truly permanent - they’ve spent a long time this season establishing just how utterly depressing, unfulfilling and soul destroying that relationship is and how poorly they work as a couple - its not the kind of relationship that was going to go down with a whimper. Its going out with an explosion - because the explosion needs to come from Buck and in order to get to that you can’t just suddenly have him decide its not working - it would be out of character for him yes he needs to reach the conclusion on his own (and his own missteps long the way form part of that) but playing with the idea of both Buck and Taylor trying to force themselves into these roles that don’t fit you’ve got to figure out how to get them out of it in a way that is interesting and provides character growth for the main. which is why they chose to invest in a guest character and seem to change who she is - from a bitch who will climb over anyone who gets in the way of what she wants to such a damp squib you better believe that thats been done for a reason - that its going to turn back around. Lucy was needed to play her role in it (however much I feel they could’ve got there by other means!) and that extends beyond the actual kiss - they needed Lucy to misdirect Taylors jealousy - which its fair to assume we’re going to get as soon as she (finally) finds out who Buck kissed. 

The misdirect is interesting and actually potentially quite funny because here we have Taylor who claims to be an investigative journalist for whom the truth is everything - so her not caring who it was Buck kissed doesn’t add up and it plays into the idea that she’s so focused on her job that she’s both uncaring and that she’s missed whats been right in front of her while focusing on the wrong thing (the audience falling in to the same trap - of assuming in  hetronormative ways - its mystery writing 101!) and also provides opportunity for the writers to utilise her personality shift and take it back to who she was and actually is - making the audience pity her and then hate her again and making them happier when Buck finally decides to end it with her. (I had some other stuff about why Lucy needed to be part of this but tumblr decided to delete it and it 1am where I am and my brain can’t remember what I typed which is incredibly annoying)

While I can see them potentially keeping her in season 6 and developing her as a character and fully fledged member of the 118 (thats not to say thats what they're going to do) if they do it will be separate to a large extent from Bucks storyline - I think if she is around for S6 we'll see Buck being friends with her as a work colleague but beyond that I can see them wanting to use her to explore other aspects of firefighting - perhaps they might even be brave enough to explore the misogyny women experience as female firefighters when out on calls.

Buck is a fan favourite and with fan reaction to that kiss and everything we've seen play out in 5x13 and 14 the intention is crystal clear. In season 6 Buck and Eddie are headed towards a fully fledged romantic relationship - Buddie is happening and there is nothing or no one who can derail that train now (except an actor deciding to do something incredibly stupid and tank their career a la Rockmond!) the writers have quite literally climbed onto the roof and started yelling their intent at us (and I love them for it)

obviously this is very much my opinion and I have no knowledge of the shows intentions with Lucy - I'm purely speculating and telling you what I see as someone who spent time making tv and film happen (all be it in a costume  capacity!) so understands some of the tricks of the trade! this go super long and rambly - idk if it even makes one iota of sense!

[hexensalbei]

getaway green

find it on ao3

“Yeah, yeah… Love ya too, man.”

Eddie abruptly stops before he enters the changing room. Heʼd recognise that voice everywhere because itʼs Buckʼs. But the words he overheard make him uneasy. Love ya too? To whom Buck might have said it? The most likely answer is to Eddie but he’s right here and he’s definitely not talking with his best friend. It’s not Chim either because Eddie saw him already in the station. So… Who else? Albert? No, that’s just ridiculous. Albert and Buck are friends—not as good as him and Buck, obviously—but why would they talk via phone when they probably saw each other this morning in Buck’s apartament? It doesn’t make sense. So… Who is it then?

Eddie feels like someone just twisted his guts. Has Buck met someone new? No, he would’ve told him about his new relationship, he’s sure of it. His best friend has told him about reconnecting with Taylor and doing the whole “friendship without benefits” thing, for god’s sake. He would at least mention that he met someone worth dating.

It’s not very helpful or reassuring, though. Eddie knows it sounds bad but he doesn’t want Buck to find someone to date. Unless it’s him Buck would be dating. He can’t stand the idea of Buck spending his free time with someone else, kissing someone else, loving someone else.

Eddie’s very much in love with his best friend. He’s tried to get over with him by dating Ana. And it was a fucking disaster because everytime he kissed her, he wished it was Buck instead. So… It’s safe to say he got it bad. And he has to keep it under control because he doesn’t want to blow up the best friendship he’s ever had. Telling Buck he’s in love with him is not even an option.

He tries to suppress his jealousy and finally goes to the changing room. Buck’s already in his work clothes and he’s scrolling through his instagram; there’s a wide smile on his face. When he hears Eddie coming in, he looks at him and his grin gets even bigger.

“You’re almost late, Diaz.” He teases and Eddie can’t help himself but smile too.

“Almost late makes a big difference.” Eddie emphasises, quickly changing his clothes. Buck only rolls his eyes. When they’re both ready, they go upstairs and greet their coworkers. The blonde goes to the coffeemaker and he pours two cups of coffee—one for him and one for Eddie—and he hands it over to his friend. They sit on the couch as usual; their arms and thighs pressed together as if there’s any free space left.

“Uh, I’ve got news.” Buck says and waits until everyone pays attention to him. “TK’s coming to LA this weekend.”

“Wait, wait, wait. Do you mean the TK with whom you stole the fire truck and who you were flirting with?” Chim asks curiously.

Eddie nearly chokes on his coffee.

Was Buck really flirting with that kid from Austin? Sure, he noticed that dumbass and dumbasser hit it off very quickly but it wasn’t something unusual—Buck was so sweet and easygoing, it was almost impossible to not like him.

“I wasn’t flirting with him! I just invited him to LA! And besides, he has a boyfriend. Who is coming with him, by the way.” Buck explains; he’s slightly embarrassed, Eddie can tell, because his cheeks are more pink than usual. Again, why would he feel embarrassed if he wasn’t flirting with TK?

Maybe he was flirting but he just doesn’t want to admit that? Whispers a very annoying voice in Eddie’s mind. He tries to silence it.

“That’s amazing! Is that captain Strand’s son? You should come by the station with them, I want to meet them.”

Bobby’s voice pulls him away from his thoughts.

“Sure, I was actually thinking… Maybe we can have a night out together? As a team?” Buck suggests. “TK says he can’t wait to meet all of you guys.”

“Fantastic idea. I’ll ask him if youʼre bluffing.” Chim quips. Eddie has a strong urge to strangle him.

And then it hits him. Buck was talking with TK earlier, in the changing room. It was definitely TK.

The jealousy is eating him alive. Sure, Strand may have a boyfriend but is it really that big obstacle? Women were flirting with him when he was still married to Shannon; they’ve pretended not to see his wedding ring and ask him out anyway.

Oh, shit. What if he will be the witness of Buck flirting with TK? He’s not sure he can handle that. How will he react? What if he will finally blow up and say something he’s not meant to? He shouldn’t tempt fate and just stay at home instead of going out with the 118 and TK. He decides to gently decline the offer and thinks about a good excuse—he could easily use Christopher as a reason to not go with the team—and Buck would totally understand it.

When he finally opens his mouth to say something, the bell rings. Of course.

━━━━━━━━━━ × ━━━━━━━━━━

The whole friendship thing between Buck and TK is bothering him so much, he can’t even fully focus on the job. He’s so distracted that Bobby asks him if he’s okay. He shrugs his shoulders and lies that he’s completely fine. What would he say anyway? That he’s in love with his best friend who doesn’t love him back and he’s probably into another, very cute firefighter? No, this is already pathetic as it is. No need to embarrass himself more. When they’re back at the station, he’s almost on the edge. He needs to find out more, even if it causes him more pain.

He quietly follows Buck to the kitchen and when they crash on the couch, he musters up courage to ask him about his relationship with TK.

“I didn’t know you and TK were such close friends.” He says, trying to sound playful, teasing.

Buck sighs heavily.

“Oh, come on, man, you too?” He groans and shoots Eddie kind of an annoyed look. “Yes, we’re close and it’s nice to have a friend outside of the 118. And we’re just friends. No flirting, no hook ups. Besides, I’ve mentioned he has a boyfriend who will be there with us.”

Eddie believes him; he hears honesty in his voice and it makes him a little bit calmer. He feels like he can finally breathe again and—

“I wouldn’t flirt with him anyway even if he was single because I think I might be in love with someone else.”

Eddie swears he can hear his heart shattering on a million pieces. He wasnʼt prepared to hear this, he wasnʼt expected to have a breakdown in the middle of a shift. Buckʼs in love and he didnʼt know about this. How? Who is it?

“What?” Is the only thing he manages to whisper.

“I’m in love with someone.” Buck repeats. It’s very quiet, unsure, almost fragile. Like he’s afraid of Eddie’s reaction, afraid of being open and vulnerable. Afraid of being in love.

It breaks Eddie’s heart even more because the only thing that’s worse than his broken heart, it’s Evan Buckley’s broken heart.

“Oh. Are you... Does this person know about it?” He asks gently, moving a little closer to his best friend. He feels like heʼs been hit by a truck but right now he wants to at least reassure Buck itʼs okay, make him feel better. Thatʼs what friends do anyway. He can have a full breakdown in his own house when heʼll be alone. He starts to pat his back lightly and after a while, he can feel Buck relaxes a bit.

“No...  It’s… Complicated. It’s probably best if I don’t say anything. At least nothing will be destroyed. I canʼt destroy it.” He hears Buck’s muttering. He understands him perfectly; sometimes not telling the truth is just the best option.

Eddie still feels jealousy, he envies the nameless person who Buck loves. He’s trying to shove down his feelings and only focus on his friend to cheer him up.

“You wanna come home with me after the shift? We could make pizza together and watch some movies with Chris.” He proposes. He realizes he said coming home—like it was their home. Not only his and Chris’ but Buck’s too. And it is his home; Buck belongs to the Diaz family anyway.

His invitation instantly lightens up Buck’s mood because he finally looks at him and there’s a small smile dancing on his lips.

“Deal. But only if you stay away from the kitchen, we don’t wanna call 911 to the firefighter’s house. You can wash the dishes.”

“Fine. Whatever you wish.”

━━━━━━━━━━ × ━━━━━━━━━━

The rest of the week passes fairly peacefully. They don’t talk again about Buck’s feelings and Eddie successfully pretends he’s not jealous. They joke and bicker as always so it’s fine, it seems like everythingʼs perfect.

It’s Friday—and it means TK and Carlos are coming. Buck has a day off and he’s picking them up from the airport and giving them a quick LA tour. Eddie’s working and so are Hen, Chim and Bobby. It’s a busy shift so they’re definitely not bored; Buck keeps them entertained between the calls—he’s blowing up Eddie’s phone with texts and photos.

Eddieʼs happy that his friend is enjoying his day off, he really is. Of all people in the world, Buckʼs the one who deserves it the most. He wishes heʼd be there with him.

» from Buck: dude, we totally need to take Chris to this museum of space, heʼll be thrilled«

Eddie opens another photo from his friend—this time itʼs Buckʼs selfie whoʼs standing in front of the museum and smiling. It melts Eddieʼs heart because Buck always thinks about Christopher, always includes him in his plans. Despite what Hen says, heʼs aware that theyʼre basically co-parenting Chris; he canʼt pinpoint the exact moment when Buck has become a second dad, it just... Happened.

» to Buck: iʼm in. so museum and sleepover at my house next saturday? i think i need to get my revenge after last time«

Buckʼs response is immediate.

»from Buck: you can keep dreaming, Diaz«

Eddie stifles a laugh when he reads the message. At least, heʼs the one Buck chooses to share even small things with. And at this moment, everything is alright.

━━━━━━━━━━ × ━━━━━━━━━━

They finally meet at the 118ʼs favourite pub. Eddie went home after the shift to drop Chris at Abuela and change into something nicer. He tried once to say heʼs not going out with them but he quickly changed his mind when he saw the disappointment in Buckʼs eyes. Heʼs quite nervous, though. Despite what his friend said about flirting with TK, the doubt, the uncertainty is still there. He hopes he wonʼt do something stupid. Heʼs the last one to arrive and Buck spots him the second he crosses the threshold. When he reaches the booth theyʼre sitting at, Buck almost jumps out to pull him into a hug.

“Thanks for coming.” He whispers into his ear and Eddie shivers involuntarily.

Then, heʼs crushed by another hug—this time itʼs TK which is a little surprising but Eddie returns the hug. Carlos sticks to the traditional handshake.

“Nice to finally meet the famous Eddie Diaz.” He says fondly. “Weʼve heard about you quite a lot.”

Itʼs quite dark here but Eddie notices Buck blushing anyway. Itʼs cute, he thinks.

“I hope Buck hasnʼt told any embarrassing stories.” He quips.

“Your embarrassing stories are safe with me.” Buck says very seriously, placing his hand on his chest.

“Trusting Buckley with your secrets? Youʼre either brave or stupid. Or both.” Chim laughs, sipping his drink.

“Iʼm telling Maddie. She will kick you off the couch for at least a few nights.” Buck warns him. It piques Carlosʼ interest because he asks a question, looking at the other man.

“Wait, so Chimʼs with your sister? Wow, you guys are really close.”

“Oh, you have no idea.”

━━━━━━━━━━ × ━━━━━━━━━━

The conversations go as smoothly as the drinks they keep ordering. Eddie feels buzzed and content. Heʼs talking with Carlos about their childhood in Texas. He discovers that they have much in common; itʼs a very pleasant surprise and he feels like they will be very good friends. Bobby already called the night off, saying he needs to go back to his wife—because you canʼt say no to Athena —but Hen and Chim are still there and theyʼre singing karaoke alongside Buck and TK.

Eddie keeps an eye on these two; there was a reason why Judd called them dumbass and dumbasser. Buckʼs also slightly more drunk than him so someone really should check out what heʼs doing. And that is Eddieʼs responsibility. There is definitely no hidden meaning, no other reason to glance from time to time (fine, very often) at the scene.

Itʼs their turn to sing—itʼs Ed Sheeranʼs Give Me Love —and Eddieʼs confident it was Buckʼs choice. He notices how synchronised they are, how they keep sharing casual touches, how they laugh at each other, how they look at each other during the song—

And the jealousy almost throttles him. Because this is something Buck had only with him. Heʼs never been so touchy with Chim or Albert; sure, they have hugged many times but itʼs different with Eddie. Their closeness, lack of personal space was there from the first Eddieʼs day at 118 even when theyʼve been showing off to each other. Itʼs never felt awkward or inappropriate. It was easy, natural, kind of like breathing—something that people do without even thinking about it because itʼs just part of life. Because it was Buck.

Heʼs spiraling. He needs to go outside, somewhere where he wonʼt see Buck and TK together. It doesnʼt even help him that TKʼs boyfriend is right there next to him and he doesnʼt feel annoyed, threatened. He watches them with amusement in his eyes.

“I... I need to go to the bathroom.” Eddie says quietly and he rushes out of the booth before Carlos can say something. In the middle of the road to the bathroom, he changes his mind and goes out of the pub. He needs to take a deep breath, calm down and donʼt let jealousy take over him. Itʼs not like Buckʼs his boyfriend; heʼs allowed to be close with anyone he wants to. He knows that this possessive feelings and fear of being replaced, hurt is probably irrational but it still gets to his head very easily.

━━━━━━━━━━ × ━━━━━━━━━━

He goes back inside after a while. He orders a beer and sits in the empty booth because apparently Carlos decided to join the rest on the stage. Eddieʼs grateful for that because he doesnʼt have to explain himself, he just can sip his beer in peace.

He doesnʼt notice TK coming to the booth, heʼs too lost in thoughts.

“What are you doing here all alone? Playing a dark, brooding hero?” He hears a very amused voice when TK sits across from him.

Eddie glares at him.

“Iʼm not brooding.” He scoffs. Heʼs definitely not brooding, heʼs just... Thinking. Trying to behave as usual. It would be rude of him to just go home without saying goodbye, right? And Buck would definitely call him to check if everythingʼs alright. Itʼs better to wait a little even if heʼs sitting alone.

“If you say so.” TK shrugs but then, he continues. “You know, thereʼs no need to look at me like you want to rip my head off.”

Eddie opens mouth to say something, to deny it because heʼs sure he didnʼt look at Strand like that but TK doesnʼt let him.

“Dude, donʼt. If looks could kill, I would be already dead when we met in Texas. Well, maybe it wasnʼt that intense back then but tonight you look like you want to strangle me. Thereʼs no reason. I like Buck but heʼs my friend. Just a friend.”

Eddie looks at him like a deer caught in the spotlight. Is he really that easy to read? He feels the blush creeping up in his cheeks; heʼs a little embarrassed because he really didnʼt expect TK to be so perceptive.

“I... How did you know?” He asks, his voice filled with uncertainty. He doesnʼt try to deny it anymore, TK wouldnʼt buy this bullshit anyway.

“Besides that I-wanna-kill-you look? ” TK laughs and then, he takes the water left on the table. “You look at him like the sun shines out of his ass. You were so focused on him that you barely noticed everyone else tonight. If I asked Hen or Chim about it, Iʼm sure they would say this is your normal behaviour. And you kept touching him like...” He trails off for a while, biting his lip. “You know... When I saw you and Buck for the first time, I was sure you two were together.”

Eddieʼs speechless; he’s mindlessly tapping his leg, looking at TK but not really seeing him. He’s silent for a few moments, but TK’s patient, he doesn’t rush him to talk.

“It’s… Complicated.” Eddie sighs heavily. He hasn’t told anyone about it but he doesn’t know if he can keep all of these emotions bottled up any longer. Maybe the fact he’s not entirely sober helps. And the fact it’s TK he’s talking to. “We’re friends. Best friends even. I… You know, he’s been there for me and he’s got my back since the day I arrived at the station. He’s the best friend I’ve ever had and I wasn’t expecting to fall in love with him. I don’t know how and when it happened but it just… Did? The thing is… I was panicking at first, I even tried to get over him by dating Ana. She’s—she was Christopher’s teacher. She was nice and sweet but I’ve kept thinking about Buck even when I was on a date with her. Even when I was kissing her, I couldn’t stop thinking about him. It’s embarrassing, I know.”

He’s thankful that TK’s not interrupting him, that he actually pays attention to him. He notices the resemblance between him and Buck. Both of them have a personality of a golden retriever and they tend to do sometimes very stupid and reckless things. But after all, they’re so easygoing and sweet, it’s very easy to love them. Eventually, he goes on with his confession. “You know, I was jealous when I saw you two because you’re awfully… Handsy. You can understand each other without even talking. I know you have Carlos and that you two are serious but… I can’t help it, it’s stronger than me. And I can’t tell him I’m in love, I can’t destroy our relationship. I can’t do it because Chris would lose him too and he’s already lost one parent. Besides, Buck’s in love with someone anyway.”

He ends his monologue and hides his face in his hands. He definitely feels better after saying it out loud but it’s still a little bit awkward.

“And here I’ve thought Judd calls you Hollywood because of the looks but now I’m sure it’s because of how dumb you are.” TK says boldly.

Eddie raises his head to gaze upon his friend. There’s a very amused grin on his face and he looks like he’s refraining himself from laughing out loud.

“You really have no clue, don’t you?” TK asks. “Sorry, I shouldn’t laugh at you but it’s so funny how oblivious and blind two people can be.”

Eddie scowls.

“Are you gonna keep mocking me or you’re gonna tell me what you mean?”

“Fine.” TK chuckles. “Have you ever considered that Buck might be in love with you? I know that he told you, not directly, but he told you about it. I guess you didn’t figure it out.”

“He didn’t—” Eddie protests without hesitation but he stops when recalls their conversation after Buck told the team about TK and Carlos coming to LA. He mentioned being in love with someone and not wanting to tell the person about his feelings but Eddie didn’t even think that he could be talking about him. “You sure… He was talking about me?”

He looks at TK with hope; he desperately wants it to be true.

“I’m sure.” The younger man reassures. “He’s in love with you as much as you are. Oh, speaking of the devil.” He mutters, seeing Buck going in their direction.

Eddie rapidly turns his head only to see his best friend settling down next to him. His face is slightly flushed, hair disheveled and there’s a wide smile on his lips.

“Dude, I know you’re into Texans but I think one of them is enough, don’t you think?” He asks TK playfully.

“Don’t worry, Eddie’s all yours.” TK replies, smiling mischievously and he winks at Eddie. “I’m sure Eddie’s more into cute, blue-eyed blondes anyway.”

And then, he flees out of the booth, leaving them both alone. Buck raises one eyebrow, looking suspiciously at his best friend.

“Blue-eyed blondes, huh?” He asks very intelligently. Eddie’s sure his cheeks and neck are red by now and it’s very noticeable.

“Y-Yeah. He’s right.”

“Interesting. Neither Shannon nor Ana were blondes.” Buck points out, his voice very teasing.

“But you are.”

It makes Buck blushing furiously and Eddie thinks it’s the cutest thing he saw this evening. Suddenly, he notices how close they are, how their bodies are pressed together, how blue Buck’s eyes are and how soft his lips are.

“So… You’re into blondes now?” Buck whispers, not tearing his gaze away from him, even for a second.

“Been into for a while now.”

“It’d make everything easier if I knew about this, I’d definitely do this sooner.”

Buck makes the first move and he closes the space between them. He gently brushes his lips like he doesn’t want to overwhelm him. But Eddie doesn’t want to back off. He’s the one who deepens the kiss, he’s the one who slides his tongue into his mouth, causing him to quietly moan.

“Do you think we could sneak off and go to my house maybe?” Eddie asks when they break apart, panting heavily.

“Dude, TK and Carlos are staying at my apartment, I can’t just sneak off.” Buck laughs. “I need to at least give them the keys if I’m not supposed to go back to my place tonight.”

“Then what are you waiting for? Just give them the keys and we can go.” Eddie pouts and he sounds so needy, it makes Buck giggle.

At some point, they get up and approach their friends who’re standing by the bar and ordering new drinks.

“Look who decided to join us!” Hen chuckles and she wants to say something else but she’s cut off by the Chim’s laughing loudly.

“I’m not sure if they are joining or leaving us.” TK smirks and Carlos nudges him softly to not to meddle.

“Actually, we were thinking about leaving if you don’t mind. I can give you the keys to my apartment.” Buck offers sheepishly.

“Just give us the keys, we’ll manage. You can go with your Texan.” TK says but then he adds, pointing a finger in Eddie’s direction. “But I need to meet Christopher before I go back to Austin.”

“I think we can arrange something. Tomorrow afternoon maybe?” Eddie suggests.

“Then we’re all set. Now, stop talking and get a room already!”

When Buck finally gives TK his keys, they say their goodbyes and order an Uber to Eddie’s house.

The ride is quick but quiet. They don’t really talk but the silence between them is not uncomfortable—it’s the opposite of it. They have to talk about their feelings eventually but they know they’ll have the time to do it. They enter the house and the second Buck closes the door, he’s slammed against the nearest wall. Suddenly, they’re kissing again; Eddie pushes his hips forward and it causes Buck to spread out his legs a little bit.

Eddie’s so glad Chris is at Abuela’s house because it means they have the whole night only for themselves—and they can do whatever they want to.

“Bed.” Buck growls when Eddie bites his lip and starts to unbuckle his belt.

“Someone’s impatient.” The older man teases.

“Said the guy who dragged me out of the meeting with our friends to have sex with me.” The blonde replies wryly.

“Just shut up, Buck.”

“Make me.”

━━━━━━━━━━ × ━━━━━━━━━━

Eddie slowly wakes up when the sun peeks through the curtains and shines on his face. His head hurts a little—well, heʼs not in his twenties anymore and he wasnʼt counting his beers last night—and he feels the weight on his chest. He needs a second to register that itʼs Buck; he sleeps very peacefully, completely nestled to Eddie. His headʼs on the place where Eddieʼs heart is, one arm around his waist; thereʼs a gingerish stubble on his cheeks and his blonde curls are perfectly messy. Itʼs a wonderful sight—and he wants to wake up like this every morning... Maybe minus a hangover.

He doesnʼt even notice how long heʼs staring at Buck like that but he doesnʼt really care. Eventually, Buck wakes up too and he raises his head a little. He seems a little confused but the expression disappears when he notices heʼs on top of Eddie and the manʼs grinning.

“Hello, sunshine.” Eddie says and he shifts a little to be able to pull his friend closer to properly kiss him. Itʼs kinda gross because they smell like yesterdayʼs beers and they havenʼt brushed their teeth but neither of them care.

“I assume you do remember last night... No regrets?” Buck asks. His tone is cheery, playful as always but Eddie can see the uncertainty in his eyes.

“Only one. That I was a coward for so long because we could have had it all much sooner.” He answers very seriously, looking directly into Buckʼs eyes. He wants him to believe in every word he says. “I know we hadnʼt exactly talked last night... But I donʼt want this to be a one night stand. Not with you. I want... More. Everything. I mean weʼve already been a couple for quite some time. You practically live in my house, youʼre Chrisʼ second dad and youʼve been my rock since the day weʼve met. We just... Havenʼt done the sexy part of the relationship.”

“Until last night.” Buck points out.

“Yeah... Point taken. So if you want to take it slow, we can take it slow. We can date like people usually do or you can already move in and take my closet, my bed and everything because youʼve already taken my heart.”

“If you think that your offer to move in is getting you out of asking me on a date then you’re terribly wrong, Diaz.” Buck teases and winks at his friend. “You need to romance me a little.”

“God, youʼre such a dork.” Eddie says fondly. He feels so damn happy and content because he can really have everything he wanted.

“You love it.”

“I do. Now, get your ass up. We need to pick up Chris from Abuela at some point. We have dinner with TK and Carlos later.” Eddie sighs because heʼd rather stay all day in bed with Buck—and maybe tell him some of the fantasies he had in his head—but the reality calls anyway.

“Are you sure you want me to pick up Chris with you? I mean, we donʼt have to do it together, I can go to my apartment and—”

“Buck. Iʼm sure. Itʼs not like we havenʼt done this before. I want to tell him about us too. I donʼt want to lie to him because I did it when I dated Ana and it didnʼt end well. Besides, heʼll be thrilled to see us together. Hell, he wants us together. He literally told me last week that I need to buy glasses if I canʼt see that you love me too.”

Buck looks at him with amusement and he laughs heartily.

“Heʼs a smart kid. And he definitely didnʼt get it from his father.”

Eddie scoffs.

“Youʼre really lucky that I love you that much because otherwise you wouldnʼt get away with saying stuff like this.”

Buckʼs smile is almost blinding.

━━━━━━━━━━ × ━━━━━━━━━━

They get up, eventually. They go to the shower together to “save the time and water” but it turns into another long making out session. They eat breakfast (made by Buck) and they finally go to Abuela to get Christopher.

“Edmundo, youʼre late.” They hear in the second Abuela opens the door. Sheʼs a little surprised to see not only his grandson but also his best friend.

She notices the big ass hickey on Buckʼs collarbone thatʼs exposed because heʼs wearing Eddieʼs Henley and raises her eyebrow.

“Now I understand why youʼre late.” She smirks which causes them to blush. “Anyway, itʼs nice to see you again, Evanito. I hope I get to see you more often.” She adds and then embraces both of them in a hug.

“You will, Abuela, I promise.” Eddie says honestly. He wants to add something but he hears an excited voice from the hallway.

“Dad!” Christopher shouts as he goes to the door to greet Eddie. “Bucky?” He asks when he notices the other man standing next to his dad.

“Hey, Superman!” Buck says, kneeling down to hug the kid.

“I didnʼt know youʼll be there. Are you coming home with us?”

“Yeah, buddy, Iʼm coming with you.”

Christopherʼs smile only gets bigger.

━━━━━━━━━━ × ━━━━━━━━━━

“Chris? What would you say if Buck were living with us?” Eddie asks when theyʼre at home. Buckʼs making Abuelaʼs famous enchiladas with Christopher (none of the Diaz siblings have gotten the recipe despite asking for it a countless times; Buck asked once and Abuela happily gave it to him) and Eddieʼs only an observer. He loves watching those two interacting, spending time together. He loves how easily Buck has stepped into a co-parent role, how fast and hard he has fallen in love with Chris, how good he is with kids in general. Heʼs amazed by it almost every time he sees them together. He wouldnʼt have found someone better to be with.

“Buckyʼs moving with us? Iʼve thought it wouldnʼt happen!” Chris replies. The corners of his lips are curling into a smile but before it breaks into a full grin, he asks. “But does that mean you are dating and we wonʼt see miss Flores or someone else anymore?”

Buck looks at Eddie with a mischievous smile and mouths told you, heʼs a smart kid.

“Yeah, kiddo, no more miss Flores or any other women. Itʼs gonna be only the three of us.”

It seems to be a very satisfying answer for Christopher—he just nods and goes back to adding all ingredients to the enchilada sauce.

When everything’s almost ready, Christopher goes to his room to change his shirt because he spilled the sauce on it and they are left alone. Eddie doesnʼt waste any time and comes closer to be able to kiss Buck. He thinks it may be a problem to keep his hands off his best friend but they will figure it out too. Eventually.

“I think I can get used to this.” Buck says when they stop to take a breath.

“To what? Cooking with Chris?” Eddie teases.

Buck only huffs but then he smiles anyway because cooking with Christopher is definitely on top of his favourite things to do. “Yep, definitely. He is my favourite Diaz after all.”

“Then Iʼm in second place I guess?”

“You wish. Thereʼs also Abuela and Tia Pepa... Maybe even your sisters.” Buck grins. “You have very strong competition.”

“I think I may have some tricks up my sleeve to change your mind then.” Eddie states and heʼs ready to show them to Buck but the doorbell rings. He sighs heavily. “Guess you just have to wait to see them then.”

“Canʼt wait.”

“Hi Buck. Fancy seeing you here.” TK says with a very wide smile on his lips. “Iʼm guessing last night went well then.”

“Well... Yeah? Thanks to someone who was meddling just a little bit.”

Carlos rolls his eyes but he doesnʼt look even slightly irritated.

“Please, donʼt boost his already big ego, he was talking last night about changing his career to be a matchmaker.”

“Matchmaker?” Buck raises his brow. “Sounds interesting.”

“Carlos, we should really keep our boyfriends apart, itʼs dangerous to let them use their brain cells together. If they even have them.” They hear Eddieʼs amused voice and he appears right behind Buck. The blonde blushes at the word boyfriends. “But come on in, weʼre all ready.”

“We brought a six pack and a gift for Christopher.” Carlos adds, lifting up the beers.

“Oh, Chris will be thrilled. Heʼs already so excited to meet you two.”

“Weʼre excited to meet him too, Buck has told us so many things about Christopher, I feel like I already know him.” TK explains when they go inside.

“Bucky was talking about me?” Christopher peeks in the kitchen shyly. He sounds quite surprised.

“Yes, he did. And itʼs very nice to finally meet you. Buck couldnʼt stop talking about you. He didnʼt even talk so much about your dad I think.”

“Because my dad is very boring sometimes and heʼs all grumpy.” Christopher shrugs, looking apologetically at his dad. “Sorry dad but thatʼs the truth.”

“When did you become so sassy, huh? But I guess youʼre right. But... This is TK and this is Carlos.” Eddie introduces his friend to his son.

“And we know youʼre very interested in space so we got you a little gift.” Carlos adds, handing Chris over a package.

“Thank you.” Christopher says simply and puts it on the floor to unpack. “Whatʼs this?” He asks curiously.

“Oh, let me help you unpack it but maybe not here? We don't want to make a mess now.” Carlos proposes and Chris immediately agrees.

They go to the living room together and Buck sees with how much fondness TK looks at them.

“Carlos seems pretty good with kids.”

“He is. Heʼs fantastic. Maybe one day weʼll think about it.” TK replies thoughtfully.

“Oh, really? You two would be amazing dads.” Eddie says honestly, putting up the plates on the table. TK looks a little stunned.

“Never really thought about it too much earlier. But, anyway, howʼs my favourite couple? Because you two are a couple now, right?” TK eyes both of them carefully.

“Buckʼs moving in. Donʼt know when yet but Iʼm planning to make it as soon as we can.” Eddie announces proudly.

“Wow you really donʼt waste your time. So should we expect an invitation for the wedding next year?” TK laughs.

“... Maybe?” They both reply in sync.

“Well, weʼre doing it backwards. We started by raising Christopher together instead of just simply dating each other. So maybe we should marry each other soon. Iʼd marry him even now.” Buck states and winks at his boyfriend.

“Something tells me that the 118 would be mad at us for weeks. If they wouldnʼt kill us first for not inviting them to the wedding.” Eddie points out.

“I hate that youʼre right. They would totally kill us. But dinnerʼs ready and boys are probably starving so letʼs feed them first.”

The dinner is excellent, the conversation goes smoothly and Chris talks about his gift—an International Space Station Lego set—with so much excitement, they donʼt even dare to interrupt him. Buck and TK even offer to help him build it later. They eat a dessert and then, Eddie and Carlos settle on the couch, beers in hands and Buck and TK sit on the floor alongside Christopher and they discuss how to build the space station. Eddie canʼt tear away his gaze from Buck who looks so happy and excited to play with his—their —son and agrees to everything Christopher says.

“You two really fit together.” Carlos says quietly because he doesnʼt want to distract boys from work. “And Iʼm glad you were able to finally talk about your feelings. I must admit, I was pretty invested in your story when TK was talking about it. I really hoped you two would figure it out somehow.”

“Can you believe I was really jealous yesterday? I was sure Buck and TK were flirting and.. God, I was so mad at you for a second why you donʼt even react, why are you so cool about it. And... Yeah, I was stupid because I was sure he was into TK.” Eddie sighs because heʼs still embarrassed about it, he still canʼt believe he was so anxious that Buck might be in love with someone else.

“Oh, you probably havenʼt seen the way he looks at you. Itʼs really something. And TK was really invested in—and I quote—bringing these two lovesick idiots together. They were never flirting. Not seriously at least.”

“Yeah, I know... I... I really hope heʼll be happy with me. But Iʼve heard your relationship is getting more serious.”

“Yeah, well... We live together now so itʼs a pretty big step for both of us. We havenʼt killed each other so Iʼm taking it as a good sign. I donʼt know whatʼs next. Maybe a wedding but I need to be sure TK will say yes and wonʼt freak out about it.” Carlos sighs, knowing that TK may be still cautious about the whole wedding thing but he definitely wants to try it anyway.

“He mentioned earlier something about you two having a kid so I think heʼs taking it very seriously too.” Eddie reassures him.

They both look at his boyfriends who are completely focused on building a space station with Christopher and itʼs very heart-warming sight. “I donʼt think he would say something like that if he didnʼt mean it. Besides, heʼs a lot like Buck and I bet he loves kids as much as him. And I need to add that Christopher is not really a kid who trusts easily but he clearly has so much fun with TK. I wouldnʼt worry too much if I were you. You two really fit together too.”

“Yeah, we do. TK was annoyingly stubborn at first and he didnʼt want to admit that itʼs more than just a hookup. Now weʼre living together.” Carlos laughs, looking softly at TK who sticked out the tip of his tongue and visibly tries to concentrate. “I must say, this is a really nice trip. Glad I could meet TKʼs friends and just... Let myself relax a little bit. Something tells me ifʼs not our last visit in LA, though.”

“I bet.” Eddie hums in agreement. “You can visit LA as many times as you want to. We will probably visit you in Texas too. I have to properly introduce Buck to my family one day so we can definitely do a quick trip to Austin then.”

“Weʼll be happy to see you. Captain S—Owen—will be thrilled to see you. He was disappointed he couldnʼt go with us, he wanted to see Hen again and meet your captain.”

“Yeah, he was whining all the time since we told him weʼre going to LA.” TK adds suddenly. Heʼs still focused on building the space station but Carlos and Eddie stopped talking quietly and now he hears what theyʼre saying. “Mateo was disappointed too, he wanted to visit his cousin. Marvin? Or something like that.”

“We can organise something bigger so everyone can be there.” Buck agrees. “Eds, we should definitely tell Bobby about it. I donʼt care if itʼs here or in Austin, I can definitely organise it.”

“I have no doubts.” Eddie says fondly and then looks at their guests. “You shouldʼve seen him when he organised a Christmas party for us all with help from Athena. We were all working and our kids were so disappointed by it but Buck basically rescued everything. That was really amazing.”

“Really? You didnʼt even mention that!” TK scoffs. “But nice to know, maybe Iʼll hire you to organise my wedding with Carlos since youʼre so good at this stuff.”

“Oh, I donʼt know. Maybe Iʼd work with Carlos because heʼs so sweet and nice but you? I bet youʼll be a bridezilla.”

TK only throws at Buck a piece of Lego in response, followed by the laugh of both Eddie and Carlos.

━━━━━━━━━━ × ━━━━━━━━━━

Itʼs almost 10pm when TK and Carlos decide to go back to Buckʼs apartment. Christopher already fell asleep but he managed to build the space station with Buck and TK and he was really proud of it, just like both of his helpers.

“Dude, your kid is really amazing. I mean, I donʼt remember the last time when I had so much fun—sorry, babe—and Iʼm really gonna miss him.” TK admits and thereʼs so much honesty in his voice, nobody even questions it.

“Heʼs gonna miss you too, if it helps.” Eddie tells him, grinning softly. “Both of you. But youʼre gonna see him soon. At least I think so.”

“I take your word for it.” TK warns him.

“Well, you can always face time with us.”

TKʼs face instantly lights up and he hugs Eddie.

“I will miss you too, Hollywood.”

Eddie only rolls his eyes.

“Hey, you two big saps, you will see each other tomorrow because weʼre gonna drive you to the airport before our shift.” Buck announces.

“Fineeee.” TK sighs dramatically. “But I think our Uberʼs here so weʼre gonna leave you alone. It was really nice to spend more time with you.”

“Likewise.”

They say their goodbyes eventually and when TK and Carlos are already in the car, Buck takes Eddieʼs hand and smiles widely.

“It was really an eventful 24 hours.” He says.

“It was. Now we only have to prepare ourselves for tomorrowʼs shift. I bet Hen and Chim will be insufferable.”

Buck groans.

“Ugh, they will be. Maybe we should be insufferable too?”

“Buckley, do you have something particular in mind?” Eddie asks, watching his boyfriend carefully. Maybe other people wouldnʼt notice it but heʼs Eddie and he knows Buck too well. He notices that mischievous look in his eyes and heʼs sure Buckʼs up to something.

“I have a few ideas, Diaz.”

“Care to share them with me?”

“Always.”

[because-i-am-barely-even-human]

It all started with the sudden idea of Buck having a teenage son who is being passive-aggressive towards Ana because of Christopher, and then it turned into this.

Actually, I had some thoughts about Buck having a kid due to teenage pregnancy for some time, I just couldn't come up with the right scenario, only some vague ideas. But now here we are. Enjoy this drabble(?) because it stopped being a prompt a few paragraphs ago 😂

I can't seem to leave Ana alone, she's really suffering in my blog 😆

P. S. I'm not sure what age Buck is in canon. Is he like 30 in season 4-5? I don't know. I have no clue how many years passed since Eddie showed up, the show is pretty vague on the timeline (at least for me). I think by the time of season 4 Eddie was in LA for 2 years minimum. I'll leave it at that.

Let's say here Buck was 16 when his son was born.

Jasper is 14 years old during s2, then 16 during s4.

Buck is 30 years old (s2), then 32 (s4). I know he was younger in s2 in canon but I'll smudge some numbers for this story 🙃

***

Due to neglectful parents and wild teenagerhood Buck has a 14 year old son.

Buck’s parents couldn’t care less for the first child of their irresponsible son. To save their reputation once again they decided to move to another city and subsequently to cut Evan off out of the kid’s life.

Joke’s on Phillip and Margaret Buckley but, contrary to popular belief, Evan was not irresponsible, despite the accidental teenage pregnancy. Things happen, that’s life.

Buck had a job, saved some money for living, and, since this job was a pretty stable one for a 16 year old, it was enough to get emancipated. Buck stayed in the hometown to be there for his kid and help his ex-girlfriend. They decided to stay friends.

***

Eddie was shocked to find out that his new friend has a 14 year old son. Buck was quite young, so he never would have guessed that he has a kid of that age. But it was actually what brought Buck and Eddie more closer. Becoming a parent when you’re not ready, and then being a single father is hard, and Evan knows it from the firsthand experience. They bonded over this.

It didn’t hurt that Christopher followed Jasper Buckley like a little duckling, and Jasper in turn took Chris under his wing and got protective every time someone as much as looked at the little boy the wrong way.

***

Ana Flores thought she knew what she was getting into when she started dating Edmundo Diaz. An army vet, a firefighter and a father to a child with disability. She’s confident she could handle all of this.

What she wasn’t ready for is for a 16-year old kid to show up at Diaz house one evening, letting himself in with his own key and start talking frantically about some school project, it would seem. His name sounds familiar but she can’t remember why.

It took him a few minutes to notice that she was there, a recognition flashed in the boy’s eyes, and the instant glare sent her way was filled with such contempt that Ana had a sudden urge to leave the country.

Then another bombshell - the kid called her boyfriend papa.

***

You see, Jasper is sassy, and sarcastic, and a little bit of a bastard but it takes a lot for him to actually hate someone. For example, his paternal grandparents. He only met them once when he was 5 years old.

It took exactly 5 minutes for them to stress out his dad and for Jasper to start throwing his favorite and faithful blocks at their heads. Courtesy of his amazing aim and dad’s strained relationship with them, he never met them again. Thank fucking god for that.

When Jasper met Christopher Diaz, a literal sunshine, he kid you not, it was decided right here and there that this boy is gonna be his little brother, and there’s nothing you can do about it. Don’t look at him like that, he doesn’t make rules! It’s what the universe wants, and who is young Buckley to deny it? He’s pretty sure dad has already claimed Diaz boys as their family.

Eddie is cool, too. The guy is now helping him with his chemistry homework since dad is useless in the subject. But who would have thought that a year later Jasper would be so interwoven with Diaz family that he would be jokingly calling Eddie Diaz papa? Well, here they are.

When Christopher got hurt at the school trying to ride a skateboard, Jasper had half a mind to go there and throw hands with a fucking dumbass who was supposed to watch over his brother. He would never punch anyone without a provocation, mind you, but this situation left him feeling furious.

Not to mention, Eddie for some noble reasons decided to apologize to that teacher, never mind that she hadn’t done her job properly. Whether that was Chris’ idea to ride a skateboard or not, she should have stopped them, and how in the world you miss a whole ass skateboard? And what is this with a weirdo analogy with horses? For fuck’s sake.

Ana Flores is now on his shit list, alright, along with Phillip and Margaret Buckley, may these old farts rot in a garbage disposal.

----

Maybe I'll write about Jasper Buckley again, maybe I won't, who knows. Let's see if I can come up with new ideas concerning this.

[extasiswings]

"Offer Me" for Buddie :D

Technically this prompt was about giving a gift, but you know how I like to get metaphorical. Also, I understand that it's TV and therefore that they can and will insist on introducing debilitating trauma and then pretending it doesn't exist until it becomes plot relevant again, but if these writers don't stop putting Eddie in hugely triggering situations for his PTSD and not addressing it at all they're gonna catch these hands. Post-4x11.

Eddie makes it through the end of the shift by sheer force of will. And then, when he gets home to a dark, empty house—Christopher wanted to spend some time with Isabel so he’s staying at her house for a few days—

He makes it as far as the kitchen before everything he’s been holding back slams into him at once and has him retching into the sink.

Fuck. Fuck.

It’s not that they never end up around guns on shifts. Sometimes things happen. Hell, Eddie can remember all too well holding a line while Buck talked down a woman hanging out on a freeway sign who had a gun. Things happen.

But that’s different from what happened earlier. They’re not cops. They’re firefighters. They’re medics. People aren’t usually shooting at them. Being pinned down in a shipping container by gunfire, surrounded by his team, trying to keep a patient alive—

Eddie spits into the sink again as he shudders, cold sweat breaking out across his forehead and the back of his neck. His hands grip the counter tight, the edge digging into the palms, giving him something solid to focus on.

"ETA six minutes."

"We don’t have six minutes."

"Diaz—"

Eddie forces himself to take deep breaths and lets his gaze flick over the kitchen, cataloguing everything that’s out in the open. He’s in his house in Los Angeles. He’s not in Afghanistan. He’s not fighting a war.

He’s not fighting for his life.

And it was fine. Earlier. No one was hurt. They got the girl to the hospital. The asshole who kidnapped her was arrested.

"Diaz—"

No one was shot.

He’s alive. He’s fine.

They got the girl to the hospital.

They got her to the hospital.

Eddie’s eyes burn as the panic slowly begins to recede. He releases the counter and drags a hand over his jaw, exhaling shakily. For a minute he just stands there—the echoes of gunshots slowly fade from his ears—but finally he flicks on the sink to rinse his mouth and splashes water on his face for good measure. He’s just shut it off again when his phone rings. The sound is abrupt and jarring in the silence of the house—he flinches at the suddenness and yanks it out of his pocket.

“Hello?” Eddie answers without looking at the id, wincing at how rough his voice sounds.

“Eddie.” Buck’s voice is a relieved sigh. “Hey.”

Eddie’s pulse is still too fast, albeit slower than it had been. He pads out of the kitchen and collapses on the living room couch, stretching out and closing his eyes.

“Did I hear Bobby right that you got arrested today?” He asks as exhaustion settles into his very bones. His hand rests on his chest, over his heart, so he can feel the steady thrum level out to normal—it beats a tattoo of alive, alive, alive against his skin.

“Okay, I wasn’t arrested, Athena just stuck me in an interrogation room for a couple hours to keep an eye on me. And I still helped solve the case!”

Eddie’s lips curve up despite himself. He hadn’t planned on talking to anyone tonight, had dodged Bobby’s concerned looks to avoid getting pulled into conversation before he left the station, clenching his hands so no one would see them shake. He hadn’t wanted to talk. But he hadn’t really been thinking clearly either about the reality of coming home to empty space. To silence. Left entirely alone with his own head.

“Yeah...that still sounds kind of like you were arrested to me. But you were probably having more fun than we were.”

Buck’s quiet for a moment before he clears his throat.

“Chim said you guys were shot at in the container yard.”

Eddie swallows hard. “Yeah. Yeah, for a couple minutes.”

“Are you okay?”

The way Eddie’s stomach twists at the question, at the softness in Buck’s voice, isn’t the same as the roiling nausea that gripped him before. It’s not entirely comfortable—but then it never is when he feels like this. Vulnerable. Exposed. Because he knows why Buck’s asking.

They lived together for months during the second wave of the pandemic. It was a stressful time, and god knows Eddie hadn’t always slept easily.

Buck hadn’t shied away. Not once. Hadn’t judged. Hadn’t demanded explanations—which is why Eddie gave him one anyway.

Buck just listened every time. Listened until Eddie couldn’t wrap his tongue around words anymore and then wrapped his arms around Eddie instead, listing off random facts about anxiety and skin pressure depressing the central nervous system, and maybe Eddie wouldn’t have let Buck hold him out of pity but if it was for science well—

So. He knows why Buck’s asking. What Buck’s thinking.

“Not really,” he admits after a long stretch of silence. “But I will be.”

Buck makes a quiet sound over the line.

"I should have been there—"

“No,” Eddie interrupts, because being trapped with everyone else had been bad enough, but the thought of being in that situation with Buck? Makes something in him recoil violently. “You’re allowed to take a day off, Buck. Don’t do that to yourself. Nobody got hurt and you being there wouldn’t have changed anything.”

Buck sighs, but accepts that.

"Christopher’s at Isabel’s, right?" He asks. "Do you want me to come over? Or—"

Buck seems to trip over his words for some reason Eddie can’t quite understand.

"—I guess you could call Ana—"

“No.” Another recoil. Buck is one thing. Buck is safe, Buck has seen all of his raw, dark, ugly places and Eddie has seen Buck’s. Ana—they’re nowhere close to being there. He would sooner go throw up again than let her in like that.

Eddie swallows again. Takes another deep breath. He hates asking for anything, but—

“Would you—would you just talk? You don’t have to come over, I’m pretty wiped anyway, but...you could talk for a little. I don’t really care what about.”

“Yeah,” Buck says quietly. “Yeah, I can do that.”

Eddie falls asleep on the couch with Buck’s voice in his ear. And he blessedly doesn’t dream.

[itsreigns]

Everywhere

Evan Buckley x Reader

His parents come to visit Evan and (Y/N) during the weekend. Evan wasn’t particularly excited about it, and then, (Y/N) finally understands why.

Warnings: Angst. Fluff.

Words: 1,572

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___________________

Buck’s parents will come to visit us this weekend. I’ve met them many times before, not for a very long time though, but it’s the first time they’re visiting since me and Buck moved in together.  

I don’t know why, but he’s not particularly excited about it. I thought about calmly asking him about it, but I decided I’d wait for him to be ready to talk to me instead. And today, two days before their arrival, he reached out during breakfast. 

“I’m just anxious about it.” He states, avoiding my gaze, instead focusing his attention on the fork resting on the table as he messes with it. 

“But… why, babe? I thought you liked having your parents around. They’ve been here before.” I carefully try to reason him, trying to understand him at the same time. 

“I do… And sure, they’ve been here before, but not during a complete weekend.” He sighs heavily, clearly frustrated that he can’t find the right words to explain himself. “Nevermind.” 

So, his problem is that they’re going to be here for a long time? I don’t even think 48 hours is that much time, to be quite honest. I feel like there’s more to this, but I can’t quite put my finger on it yet. 

“Evan, you know you can talk to me about everything, don’t you?” I say softly, covering his hand gently and caressing it. He finally looks me in the eye and stops fumbling with the fork. 

“I know, baby. I know. I’m sorry… I just… Sometimes they’re… it’s not easy to deal with them.” He tries to explain himself, still struggling to find the right words. I tug on his hand for support. 

“Hey, whatever happens, we’re in this together, and I’ll be here for you, ok? No matter what.” I reassure him, leaning in and pressing a kiss to his lips. 

“Thank you. I love you, (Y/N).” He whispers against my lips.

“I love you, Evan.” 

*2 days later*

Saturday’s here. Two days passed by smoothly. Evan was a bit more at ease, but I could tell he was still anxious, there was still stuff floating on his mind. But I just gave him space. I know him, and he definitely doesn’t like being pressured. Sometimes I intervene, obviously. But right now, I don’t think it’s the right thing to do. 

I was busy getting our dining room ready for lunch as Ann and Connor would be arriving in no time, when I realized I haven’t seen Buck in a while. I found him quickly as he’s sitting on the couch, bouncing his leg anxiously, lost in thought. That seems to be a thing for him lately. 

Feeling the couch shift beside him, he jumps in his seat just as I’m reaching out to caress his thigh. “Jesus, (Y/N), you scared me.” 

“I’m sorry, Evan.” I apologize, biting my lip. I stare at him, caressing his cheek, as if doing so, would help me find some clue of what’s going on or, at least, something that helps me start this conversation. “What’s really going on, babe?” I ask softly, moving my hand to hold his tightly. 

“I…” He trails off, averting his gaze to his lap, consequently avoiding mine. “It’s nothing, (Y/N). Really.” 

“It’s not nothing, Evan. I know you.” I confront him, keeping my tone even and gentle. “Whatever’s bugging you, it’s not nothing. I can tell it’s serious.” 

Buck sighs heavily, burying his head in his hands. I get closer to him, putting my arms around him and caressing his back with my hand soothingly. The silence lings in the air for a couple of minutes. 

“It’s stupid.” He finally says, still in the same position, not wanting to face me. 

“If it’s upsetting you, it’s not stupid, Evan.” I whisper, tugging his left arm to me so he’d finally face me. He concedes, so I take his hand in mine as he still rests his chin under his other hand. “Whatever it is, I won’t judge you. I’m not here to judge you, I’m here for you. No matter what.”

“It’s just… My parents. I don’t think I’m mentally ready to have them here.” He finally admits. I can tell there’s much to the story, but for now, I’m just content with the fact that he’s opening up to me. “You just don’t know how they truly are. I mean, I love my parents, but they just... “ He trails off, not sure of how to end that sentence. 

“Evan, we’ll go through this together, ok?” I whisper, and he nods. “If you feel uncomfortable or something, we’ll just come up with some excuse and we’ll make them leave. It’ll be fine.” I assure him, leaning in and pressing a few kisses to his lips. 

*Sunday, 1:25pm - 24 hours into having Evan’s parents at home*

Now I know what Evan meant yesterday. Ann and Connor spent the whole day being passive aggressive towards him. About everything. About him as a person. About his job. Honestly, I don’t know how they can’t see that what they’re saying is hurting him. It was definitely pissing me off, so I’d just answer back assertively. 

So, last night, before we went to bed, Evan sat down with me and just asked me not to say anything, that he’d handle it. I’m trying to respect that, but I hate seeing him so down and sad. I think he should speak up and tell them how he feels, but I can see why he doesn’t. 

We’re hanging out in our living room after lunch when his mom speaks up, breaking silence.  

“How do you feel about my son’s job, (Y/N)?” She asks me, out of nowhere, completely catching me off guard. 

I lock my gaze with Evan’s and he shoots me an apologetic and ashamed look. God, he looks so sad, I hate seeing him like this. 

“I love that he’s a firefighter. He’s a hero to so many people. He’s my hero.” I say truthfully, shooting him an assuring smile, which he returns timidly. “I’m really proud of him.”

“Aren’t you scared that he’ll get killed trying to save somebody he doesn’t even know? I tell him that all the time, he’s risking his life for strangers.” She affirms calmly. Doesn’t she have a clue? What the fuck?

“If everybody thought like you, there would be no first responders, no firefighters in the world.” I reply, matching her calmness. “Of course I’m scared he might get hurt, but I trust him and I know he’s very good at his job, and so are his coworkers. They’re all super professional and qualified for their functions.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” That’s all she said. For a few seconds. Then she speaks up again. “But you know, he’s not as nice of a boy as he used to be. That job changed him. Connor thinks so too.”

“Well, then I can tell you that you’re right. He’s not a nice boy.” I say confidently, smiling sweetly at them, making the three of them move their attention fully to me. “He’s a great man. The best man I know, if I’m being honest. He’s grown into this amazing man, with this huge heart, a true fighter. He outdoes himself and surpasses any adversity or obstacle that comes in his path.”

I stop talking for a few seconds, turning to face Evan, and his beautiful blue eyes are shining with emotion, his mouth slightly open. His mother is staring at me, a blank expression on her face. And his dad seems to be lost in thought, as if he’s letting my words sink in. 

“And those are just a few of the million reasons why I love him.” I add, proudly, finally finishing up, feeling overwhelmed myself.

Thankfully that conversation subsided. A few minutes later, Evan motioned me to follow him, so we quietly excused ourselves to our bedroom. 

“Are you o-” I start once we get inside but he quickly cuts me off. He pulls me into a really tight hug, and hides his face in the crook of my neck. I could feel his hot, steady breath against my soft skin, and it feels so intimate, like home. 

“I love you so much, (Y/N). So fucking much.” He mumbles against my skin, his voice slightly wavering with emotion. “Thank you, babe.”

“For what?” I ask genuinely.

He pulls back slightly, but still keeps me in between his arms and close to him, and locks his gaze with mine. 

“For everything. For defending me, just now. For supporting me. For loving me.” He lists out, blushing a bit by the end. “No one ever did that for me.”

“I love you, baby. I always will be by your side, loving you and supporting you.” I reassure him, moving my hands to press my palms against his chest. “And also give your parents a reality check if needed.” We both chuckle lightly at my last sentence. “What would you do without me, Evan Buckley?” I laugh, playing with his shirt’s collar.

He pretends to be thinking really hard about what I just asked, so I playfully hit his shoulder. “Babe, stop.” I pout. 

He leans down and kisses me for a few seconds, before answering truthfully to my question.

“I’d look for you everywhere. I wouldn’t stop until I found you.”

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