#btw that hockey guy is too hot for hockey

[allforthegayphase]

Jean would fit right in on Kpop stan twitter

[neiptune]

aot boys x guilty pleasures

a/n: this is me being self indulgent and having a lil fun so forgive the shitposting but also feedback is always appreciated mwah

eren loves the shit out of nature documentaries you'll leave him alone one saturday night and you'll come back to find him sprawled on the couch watching life of mammals or some shit on netflix lmao you'd be on a date and he'd get suddenly excited enough to hit you with random facts like “btw did you know that the average blood pressure of a giraffe is around 300/190?” he'd literally barge in rooms with a “babe omg hummingbirds are like the only birds that can fly backwards” and you'd just be sitting on the toilet with a very unimpressed look but he's cute 12/10 would make a good park ranger or whatever

armin is lowkey obsessed with youtubers like he legitimaly sits down and watches hours on end of unboxing/reaction videos or travel vlogs jfc and it's always the dumb stuff ya know like person x unboxing the same phone in 10 different colors or person y reacting to drake's new single and THAT controversial lyric. it's exhausting really he'd be in bed at 3am still going through chrissy's 27 min travel vlog about some bali vacation gone wrong and don't even get me started on drama and internal feuds or breakups oh my god he has a whole playlist of breaking my silence videos on youtube to keep track of who's said what so he can pick the best side

you've introduced jean to the world of fandoms and fanfiction and at first he was all like nah that's too weird but now he has his own ao3 account and eats the weirdest most hilarious shit up, will also use acquired terms in the wrongest way like you'd be watching bridgerton together and he'd suddenly nod to himself with a OOOO TRIGGER WARNING THEY BOUT TO FUCK lmao he's obsessed tbh his twitter is filled with commentary on random chapters he's screenshot and that I WILL GO DOWN WITH THIS SHIP titanic gif posted over and over again like no honey you will not we've moved past that 10 years ago

oh god connie is such a chronic playlist creator he'd have one for EVERYTHING and he genuinely spends hours selecting the perfect most appropriate songs and titles for each one, you best believe before you first started dating he's made one for you called “i like you idgaf about your boyfriend” which came with a weird ass mix of sweet stuff like just the way you are by bruno mars and cash shit by megan thee stallion lmaooo he's so random he thinks he's good at it too and you don't have the heart to tell him that “get down dirty bedroom sexy lapdance music” ain't a good title. it's kinda attractive that he's not a music snob tho like he'd be blasting country music classics while cooking, rap mixtapes when he's taking a shower or full on broadway showtunes when driving, he also has a cute voice that cracks on higher notes but it secretly turns you on how deep in the moment he is while screaming to defying gravity in the car

levi gets a weird kick out of serial killer documentaries or real footage of their interviews/trials, also listens to A LOT of true crime podcasts and TAKES NOTES about the most interesting cases to check if he'd be able to solve the unsolved ones and he'd always test you as well? you'd be reading a book in bed and he'd plop next to you with a dead serious look on his face asking shit like “would you help some random guy with a cast on his arm carry his bags?” 🤨 out of the blue like ?????? baby that's kinda weird can you not but it's really just him trying to flex his big big brain thank fuck he's not an actual cop he'd be insufferable (and way less hot)

to absolutely no one's surprise reiner's guilty pleasure has to do with you, the man's all about you (and hockey), you've asked him to take a bath with you once and now not a single motherfucking week goes by without him looking at you big big puppy eyes asking “bath???” most evenings after work. it doesn't even have to lead to anything he's just content basking in warm water and bubbles with you in his lap, he gets to massage shampoo into your scalp if you want to wash your hair and is now a pro at creating the perfect atmosphere with oils and dimmed lights and omg don't even get me started on candles, he's memorized your favorite scents and now also has his own preferences, catch him walking around a yankee candle store at least twice a month, girls working there ask this big scary grumpy guy if he needs help and he'd reply with the softest most polite & specific hi hello yes actually i need to stock up on sparkling cinnamon and snow globe wonderland tyvm

porco 100% checks his naked self out in the mirror lmaooo i know this shouldn't count as something people wouldn't believe he'd do but it's kinda a guilty pleasure i guess??? he finds putting clothes on a lil depressing and knows he's hot. sometimes you'd catch him doing that after showering and the man would be so fucking thirsty for compliments cause what is he supposed to do with muscles and abs and prominent biceps if you won't drool over them a little? he's annoying & also gets soooo whiny if you don't indulge him like :( do you not think your dashing boyfriend is cute :( while flexing, also always tries to convince you to take your clothes off as well for “inspection purposes” to which you simply flick his forehead lol whether you end up pressed against that very mirror 10 minutes later it's between you and him xoxo

[peachhcs]

person A cheering on person B at one of their games wearing their number and person B couldn't be happier

person b is jacob fowler please!!

you, in the stands

jacob fowler x fem!reader

the love is in the air at the conte forum between you and your boyfriend, jacob fowler.

0.8k words

warnings: probably inaccurate hockey game writing lmao. i know what jacob's hair color is now! thank you middstape i appreciate it LOL

GUYS i'm sorry i haven't posted anything in a hot second. i've been busy with ending school and starting my summer job, but i have more time now, so i'm hoping to get through my inbox, work on my gabe au and will smith au! this was so cutie to write thanks so much for requesting!! :) gif is not mine btw!

700 celly masterlist

the conte stands were packed with fans wall to wall, bleacher to bleacher. boston v. new hampshire had been the most anticipated game since the eagles played them a few weeks back and the boys were most definitely ready to show the wildcats what else they had up their sleeve. of course you were at the game. you’d never miss one of jacob’s games, so there you were tucked five rows up from the glass where you were far enough away to avoid being too close to someone getting smashed into the glass, but close enough where you still followed everything happening. 

your best friend stood beside you after taking the whole day to convince her to come. she was never a huge hockey fan, so dragging her along to games was more of a chore than anything. the two of you sported your eagles gear along with every other person, except yours was special. 

you and jacob had only been seeing one another for a couple of months—neither of you wanting to take things too fast, so for the first few games you showed up in a sweatshirt (or jacob’s). this time, however, jacob gifted you his jersey to wear. 

your eyes literally grew the size of watermelons when he proposed the idea last night. 

“coming to the game tomorrow?” jacob’s voice filtered into the bathroom where you did your nightly routine in front of the mirror. 

“of course. is that even a question?” you laughed. whether you and jacob were dating, you’d always be at the hockey games growing up a hockey fan yourself. 

your boyfriend’s laugh brought a smile to your lips, “just making sure. i like looking up and seeing you there in the stands every time.” 

he was so corny, but you loved it nonetheless. he smiled when you stuck your head out of the bathroom, “you’re adorable. i think i’ll drag y/bsf/n (your best friend’s name) along.” 

“i don’t know about that one y/n. remember last time you brought her?” the boy laughed again. 

“whatever. i’ll make her come,” you shrugged and disappeared back into the bathroom. 

when you came back out your boyfriend spread himself out on the bed with open arms for you to climb into. it was a miracle the two of you even fit on the twin xl together. shutting the light off, you crawled in beside him, snuggling into his side immediately. his arm wrapped tightly around your waist as you breathed him in and got comfortable. 

“any outfit ideas yet?” jacob asked into the growing silence of his dorm room. he knew you loved planning out your game day outfits and appreciated the numerous options you’d send him. 

“mm, i dunno yet. sweatshirt probably.” 

jacob hummed as the idea in his mind grew larger and hung on the tip of his tongue to propose it to you, “what about you wear one of my jersey’s?” 

your eyes popped open. “one of your jersey’s?” you repeated like you didn’t hear him the first time. 

his eyes searched yours in a slight anxious manner, worried you didn’t like his idea. your relationship was still so new, he didn’t want to force you into letting other people know you were his if you weren’t ready. 

“yes?” the red head squeaked out. 

“i-i yes. i’d love to,” your smile grew wider which sent relief through the boy’s system.  

so there you were in your usual spot sporting your boyfriend’s jersey proudly. his last name was etched across your back letting everyone around you know that you were fowler’s girl. 

the famous freshmen line—will smith, ryan leonard, and gabe perreault—flew down the ice towards the goal. everyone was on their toes watching the trio work seamlessly together to get the puck across the ice. it was nearly impossible to hear anything, but this was the atmosphere you grew up in. loud and noisy was your thing and ice hockey could never fail to bring a smile to your lips. 

jacob told you he loved that about you. he loved seeing how happy you got for him and his team on the ice. 

unh came back down the rink with the puck in possession. you watched jacob get himself ready for a block, the boys each shouting incoherent things to one another. the wolverines were tough players, but you weren’t worried. the boys have beaten them each time they played and it wasn’t looking like unh was closing the score anytime soon. 

jacob slid down, blocking the puck from entering the goal. the fans, including yourself, jumped up in excitement. “that’s my boyfriend!” you exclaimed excitedly. 

whether jacob heard you or not, he looked up at the stands, smiling beneath his mask, seeing you there so happy for him. you blew tiny kisses in his direction which he caught and pressed against his chest before refocusing on the game. 

your best friend nudged your shoulder, a knowing smile on her lips. everything was good, really good, when you had your boyfriend’s name across your back and his eyes on you in the stands when he wasn’t playing. 

[katakosmos]

i love your evan SO MUCH. in my mind he’s become his own fun little destructive entity and i need him. badly. i do fear he may be a gym bro…which brings me to my question. what are the gang doing at the olympics (basically, which of them is stephen and which of them is the muffin man. and why.) LOVE!

thank you 🥰 i love my evan too 🥰 probably cause i know he could destroy me 🥰

(yes he'd be a gym bro)

btw. there are too many sports in the olympics for me to even remotely know what they consist of, so i won't get into things that are too strange (and so i don't know if i'll be able to give all the characters a sport 😭)

james for me is a world pole vault champion. i think the reason he loves quidditch is because he loves flying, not kicking a ball into three circles. so no football for him. in a fic that i started writing (but, obviously, never finished) lily and james met on an athletics field cause lily practiced hammer throw. in a domestic context, james would reach high shelves while lily assembles furniture and lifts the sofa when james loses something underneath it. they go to the olympics together and kiss from the stands.

(honorable mention to that french guy who knocked over the pole with his dick. james coded.)

sirius fencing makes sense, and he's so good at it that you can't take your eyes off him. sirius' fencing is a declaration of love, it hypnotizes you, it moves you. it's not an equal fight: there's no chance, he has to win because he brings fencing to a poetic and emotional level. he plays a whole different sport

...but i think he'd hate sweating under his mask and getting his hair greasy. LMAO.

peter fits in rugby but personally i think he would slay in a gymnastics competition: he does perfect floor routines. before a competition he needs silence and concentration, so he side-eyes anyone who speaks to him. he's so scary that everyone's afraid of him.

dorcas practices martial arts, and i can see her doing kung fu, which is very choreographic and acrobatic. but unfortunately, kung fu is not in the olympics and therefore... she would probably do gymnastics too. but mhmmmmm, it's not really her vibe.

mary runs. no questions and no explanations. and she wins the gold medal with thick eyelashes and a 5cm long set of nails. she can also run on heels. this woman is not to be underestimated.

barty is a shooter. and he absolutely loves to terrify people by saying he has a gun. he's precise, he has a lot of fun and he thinks his professional glasses are very, very cool. buttt, when he doesn't have a clear advantage he gets angry and starts losing, so he never won a medal. he's famous for his little smirk every time he hits the bullseye, and people think he's very hot.

marlene would either do the best known sport in the world (football) or the most unknown one (underwater hockey). so let's put them together: water polo. if i'm honest though marlene doesn't have a personality in my head so i don't know 😭

pandora maybe diving? she's very good at it but she always comes second behind the chinese athlete, and this makes her furious. she smiles at her friendly when in reality she wants to drown her.

now remus, regulus and evan... but i think regulus would compete in figure ice skating (he is very graceful but also sharp and fast), and evan would be a hockey player (for obvious reasons), but these are winter olympics' sports.

remus on the other hand, i have no idea what sport he could do. i'd love to see him play tennis, but it's too tiring. he wants something messy, fast and where he doesn't have to move too much. if there was a sport like this he'd be world champion, but he's probably still looking for it. for now he has to settle for long jump (james forced him to try but he hates it).

now... i have a personal beef with tiktok because of that american guy like tell me if you hate me ok. but stephen is 100000% xenophilius like: he sleeps for all the competition, completely unaware of what anxiety is, then he wakes up to do just one thing and does it perfectly. this is xeno right here.

but i have no idea which of them could be the muffin man.

[hugheses]

these are just some thoughts after seeing ur post on the hockey thigh thing btw, and i hope you hear me out. you being a lesbian (im bi and i have a gf currently), which is something you emphasise a lot, and not being attracted to these dudes doesnt make this whole parasocial archive any less weird or creepy. i'm not here to shit on or invalidate your passion, because obv its something you care about deeply from how much your scour the web for all these old things, even of their mother when she was young. and genuinely, thats pretty cool, i work in archival and i have a lot of respect for that with the effort you've put into it.

but i think you are encouraging others to imitate this blog and culture, when it comes to other players who aren't as in the media as the hughes family. like i agree that its part and parcel of the job as athletes who represent a multitude of things like ur franchise ur family etc, but i feel like we just shouldn't proliferate this. i know people on twitter are unjustly harsh and oftentimes critical to the point of meanness, but i think some points they share are valid. just bc its on the internet, doesnt give us the permission to do stuff ykwim? like imagine just going up to the hughes and giving them a scrapbook of every media moment from their mothers childhood, to her college, their dad, and them as kids and now as adults. thats just straight up weird. and don't even get me on the sexualisation, i get they are adults but isn't that just basic respect?

i know having an internet community is rlly important to some, and im sure ur followers would still give you that support u need even if you dont constantly supply them with these media things, or dangle ur secret archive like a carrot over them.

hoping you have a great day

you clearly put a lot of time and thought into this, so i will give you that same level of consideration back. i think you have some misunderstandings about me, hockey fandom, and fandom culture as a whole.

first, the lesbian thing. admittedly tumblr search is very broken but according to it i’ve mentioned the word lesbian twice on here, as a disclaimer for why i might not be the best person to understand what male attracted people find hot. it's possible it's come up a few other times but it’s definitely not something i "emphasize a lot". it's somewhat ironic that you bring up you being bi and having a gf in what reads to me like a deflection on your critique that i say i'm gay too much, when you seem to think me saying i'm a lesbian is bc i'm trying to deflect on sexualizing these guys. which admittedly is the most confusing part of your entire ask. is this solely about the thigh ask? if you’re worried about "basic respect", hockey fandom is probably not the place for you. i know i don't like seeing 500 reader insert posts every time i open anyone's tag, which is why i have related terms muted and block people who don't use them. however this is very much a part of hockey fandom and i’m aware of that. on the flip side, the unfortunate reality is that hockey players are some of the nastiest misogynistic men on the planet who generally do not see women as actual human beings beyond mommies, maids, and holes. if i WAS sexualizing these men 24/7 i would feel well within my rights to do so, and could make an only slightly ironic argument for it being feminist praxis. if jack hughes can ask girls to flash him, i can have a little sexualization, as a treat. 

calling me weird and creepy isn’t actually negated by following up with saying you're not trying to shit on or invalidate my passion and you respect the effort i put into it. if you think i’m weird and creepy, you’re allowed to feel that way, but actually own it if that’s what your opinion is.

you imagined this scrapbook scenario and then say that it’s weird. i agree, that hypothetical thing would be weird. good thing i’m not doing that, will never do that, and take many efforts to have a strong fourth wall and keep this blog separate from the people it's about. i am a firm believer in keeping fandom private and secluded! that's why im not tweeting all of this and tagging them. 

it’s a big leap for you to assume that i do this because i "need support". not that it matters, but i do all of this because i find it fun and i’m being generous with people who do not have the time/resources/know-how to find this stuff on their own. there's nothing wrong with finding a community online, but i had one before doing all this. in fact, all of this has been really more trouble than it's worth in terms of harassment vs kindness lmao. some people on here have been lovely to me, but i’m beyond the age where i need virtual validation from strangers. you’re right about one thing, i do dangle my secret archive like a carrot, largely for petty reasons because of a few specific assholes. 

you seem to think i’m the only person who does stuff like this. update/archival accounts are very common for musicians, actors, even like... tiktok influencers. were you not online when people hacked an airport security cam feed to watch one direction sit and do nothing? everything ive ever posted on here has been available to the public. i’m just good at finding stuff. even within this smaller sports fandom on tumblr, i have been inspired by OTHER BLOGS who were doing this before me and go way harder than i do. i didn’t invent the concept of collecting information and images about public figures like you seem to think i did, but thanks.

if you want to critique fandom culture as a whole, go right ahead, but i ask that you keep the sanctimonious lectures out of my inbox, especially when they're based in assumptions. any one of these things could have been questions i would be willing to chat about if you were actually curious about me and what i do. i in fact have lots of opinions that might surprise you on many of these things you mentioned. but i will have those conversations with other people, who talk to me with the respect and dignity that i deserve.

[sergeifyodorov]

the people are asking for the Quinn Hughes Hotness essay btw... i take it back!!! let us see. i think it's mostly that he's not pretty but handsome <- left brain right brain pseudoscience

i think the appeal of qhughes is that hes like. some guy...

like one of the other beauteous handsome ones like. petey (gay bald and taken) or nico (hallmark love interest and also fictional) or . godforbid . leon (Extremely Goodlooking Man) are like. beyond what we the selfrespecting fujoshis of the world are capable of. i see nico in the wild and you best believe i am not flirting with him i am running for my life because That is bait.

the reality of quinnifer being one of the most widely lusted after men of the national hockey l-abomination is that he is. Normal. i would sit a row or two behind that guy in my intro to macroeconomics class and see that he too is scrolling hockey highlights via the app formerly known as twitter on his phone and that he is also liking the leafs ones. i need to know more. how many online fights is he getting into or is he chill enough to let the bad takes go by

also this makes him kind of wetpathetic . i mean he's unlucky and shtuff but this is the leafsfan in him (and also the nucks are cursed)(to a lesser extent. To A Lesser Extent)(in fact all the canadian teams are cursed but this is not important). and there is something appealng about the one who is clearly Doing His Best, Even If Everything Sucks . i love peteys cunty ass but he does not have the HUMAN STRUGGLE that quinn does. the human struggle is what makes him hot. u know he would bleed if u bit him !!

[lonesomedotmp3]

well in summary. we went through season five WAY too fast. jack is literally the worst guy alive I want to perform open heart surgery on him so bad. I need to rewatch he double hockey sticks more than anything. we are experiencing the downfall of eric and cory's characters as we speak it's honestly so insane. and shawn...

sorry needed a gif to express that fully. maybe his gayest season? debbie if you close your eyes you can actually see spring... but I digress. topanga and angela you've never done anything wrong my angels <3 but girl go to yale omg... and debbie ryan voice you should cheat like a lot!!! the EPIC highs and lows of corpanga this season you guys have no idea. but that pairing is the woman I married at the end of the day. of course feeny you have never not slayed I love you so much old man... noo don't retire you're so cunty aha...

^ him dancing to hot stuff btw. ok bye

[total-drama-brainrot]

Hello hello ophe 👋😇

I know this sounds weird and carp but I’m gonna say what some of my favs smell like

Trent (my dumb princess) probably smells like mahogany teakwood, strawberry kiwi or motor oil

He seems like a strawberry kiwi kinda guy

Axel would smell like pine, motor oil, or cucumber melon

Emma definitely smells like sunshine and lemons or cupcake sprinkles

WAYNE the boy smell like musty ass hockey bags or hot honey, or strawberry ice berry lemonade

Scary girl smells like red raspberries, unopened monster high dolls, candles, or a hot topic

Damien smell like chemicals, laundry detergent , ocean salt, or fresh water

OLIVIA VON TRASHPANDA smells like what a god would smell like

-Ass Stars anon

I’m gonna like ask every like three or four days so not to clog your ask box and so that I try and control myself

Hello hello, Ass Stars Anon! 👋😊

You're giving these kids way too much credit in terms of how good they'd smell, imo.

Axel would smell earthy, like mulch and wet leaves, because she's a survivalist. Having a traceable scent would bring down her 9.7 primitive survival rating! That's not to say she smells bad, but if you were to sniff a handful of dirt and then Axel herself there wouldn't be much of a difference. Of course, after she started her relationship with Ripper she started smelling like him too (given the fact that the two were literally near inseparable), which is mostly just the stink of body odour- Ripper believes in letting his "natural musk" and "alfalfa pheromones" run free.

Emma strikes me as the sort of girl to either wear super sugary-scented perfumes or drown herself in fruity/sweet body mists. She probably goes through a bottle of So...? Fragrance a day, either in the scent Birthday Cake or Raspberry Frappe.

In the same vein, Chase would reek of whatever cologne/body wash he's currently sponsored by, or if he has his own brand of cologne he'd wear it religiously. I doubt many of them smell great, but at least it's more interesting than deodorant and hairspray.

Wayne AND Raj both smell like Lynx Africa (AXE Body Spray for the US, I think?) with the underlying smell of hockey-sweat and gym lockers.

Scary Girl probably reeks of brimstone and hellfire. Joking, but given that she lives in a funeral home and (according to her audition) deals with explosives often, I imagine she's stained with the ever-present smell of dust and cinder- maybe with the underlying smoky smell you get from standing too close to a fire. Topped off with some sort of cloyingly sweet flowery perfume; she's got that creepy-cute aesthetic to keep up, after all!

I'd like to say that Damien smells like fresh linen and hand sanitizer- because as a science nerd and an anxious mess, he initially struck me as someone with good or even over excessive hygiene habits- but with Zee's secret spilling we know that this dude hasn't changed his underwear for weeks(?), so he in all likelihood smells like cheap cologne layered over dirty clothes.

Olivia von Trashpanda has ascended beyond trivial mortal concepts like "smell".

Trent, our silly little princess who has done no wrong ever, would smell like wood polish (for his guitar), motor oil (he strikes me as the sort of guy who's into fixing up old cars, or modifying his own motorbike) and Old Spice. A lot of oaky scents with a twang of petrol.

This is all off the top of my head btw. I haven't really put much thought into what the contestants would smell like- for good reason, given the fart jokes and gross-out humour in the series.

That's not to say that your own interpretations/headcanons are invalid or wrong, or that my headcanons are the gospel truth. They can smell like whatever you want them to!

This is just me adding my own interpretations. Feel free to disagree with me!

You can send asks as often as you want! I'll do my best to reply to them all, though sometimes I do find myself drawing a blank as to how to respond. If I don't reply to an ask please don't take it as me being rude/annoyed, I probably just couldn't think of anything to add.

[baekhvuns]

hey sunbae its not even 6am in my timezone yet but i just wanted to thank u and the anon for the school advices. will take it into consideration.

ab the crush ive comented in a past ask: its been weeks since i saw him so i guess its a nope but i feel okay with it. im really trying to concentrate in myself and making me feel better so if romance doesnt happen rn its actually fine :)

btw i wanna update u that i read mr and mrs park not too long ago (school has got me into a headlock and some while ago i wasnt reading anything longer than 5k) and i absolutely loved it? hwa was a real fucker at the end with his ex but he made it worth it ;D and the fight scene between them two is equally scaring and hot... (please consider that ive never watched mr and mrs smith okay

now about my soobin ice hockey au, im nkt sure when itll come to life bc im not good w planning my time to write, but i can give u guys spoilers - and i can give u, sunbae, a little bit more than that if ure interested 👀 let me know 👀

alright now lemme finish the assignment i woke up to do

-hoobae anon

hello hoobae anon!!! hope you’re well!! as u should, romance can happen anytime in your life, but to be focusing on ur self in the moment is the real deal >>

OOOOOOOO mr and mrs park 👁👁 eee im glad u did!! he really was shitty at the end but their build up was the best thing ive written, oh to live in their world fhwjdbwm COME ON ANON YOU HAVE TO WATCH MR AND MRS SMITH JUST FOR THAT SCENE

YES SOOBIN YES YES FRHWNDJWKHDWK PLEASE tell me all about it, everything and everything im interested in everything give me everything

[ellen-shame]

OKAY PART 3

So Sid has... a pretty awful pregnancy. Physically he's fine, but emotionally and psychologically he is completely overwhelmed, unbalanced, and barely keeping it together. Hockey has been the centre of his life for pretty much as long as he can remember, and now he's given it up. The decision to have his second pup shortly after the first one is a decision that takes a LOT of difficult soul-searching because taking THREE years away from hockey is just a gut-wrenching prospect for him, even if it's the best decision in the grand scheme of his career. Part of the reason he becomes so obsessed with learning Russian is because he's desperately looking for some kind of project to give his time structure and value.

Added to the extremely weird and distressing loss of hockey in his life is his emotional reaction to Geno. Sid CANNOT stop thinking about him even though they've only met three times and probably only spent about two hours in each other's company, total. Well, he's the father of the kid Sid's carrying around, of course he's thinking about him a lot. But he's also thinking about how sweet Geno was with him during the breeding sessions and how different that was to Sid's only previous sexual experience, when the combine doctor shoved his fingers into Sid and seemed completely uninterested in Sid's discomfort. Sid's done a really good job of repressing that memory for the last few years but suddenly that's getting a lot harder, and it's bringing up all sorts of other uncomfortable thoughts, such as, maybe the whole fucking breeding programme system is really, really fucked up and traumatising and immoral, but Christ Sid can't let himself realise that NOW when he's in the middle of it, forcibly knocked up by a league-appointed stranger. But even as all this discomfort with his sexual experience surfaces, Sid is also getting absolutely whammied by that second trimester horniness; he is obsessively fantasising about Geno CONSTANTLY in a way that freaks himself out because he's literally never felt like this before, having been on suppressants since he was 15 or 16. Basically pregnancy hormones + resurfaced sexual trauma + intense chemistry with a stranger = weird weird weird feelings about sex and relationships for Sidney Crosby.

Towards the end of the second trimester, it becomes apparent to the doctors keeping track of his pregnancy that Sid is Not Doing Good. Somehow they get it out of Sid that what he really wants is to see Geno again, and conveniently it's the KHL summer break, so they fly in Geno to basically be Sid's emotional support alpha for a couple of weeks.

As it turns out, Geno's been thinking about Sid a lot too. He's kind of fascinated by this omega who's actually a serious player in an alpha-dominated league??? In Russia the idea of an omega in the top league is inconceivable. Plus, you know, it helps that Sid is super hot and smelled super good. All in all Geno's not feeling as easy breezy as he expected to about making a pup with this guy and then peacing out back to Russia. When he's invited to spend time with Sid he's more eager than he thought he would be. Then he's face to face with an extremely pregnant Sid who a) speaks pretty good Russian all of a sudden and b) is horny as hell for Geno and barely bothering to disguise it. Sid's contract specifies that he can't have sex during pregnancy because what if it hurts the pup but... they have a lot of VERY intense oral sex during Geno's visit, and then it's "just the tip" "okay you can put your dick in me but don't thrust" "fuck it let's have sex". Pup's fine, btw, that's some bigoted old bullshit about how it's not safe to have sex while pregnant. So they have a very intense few weeks together when they really fall for each other really fast. And then Geno has to go back to Russia.

And Sid absolutely McLoses it. Full-on uncontrollable hysterical sobbing, clinging onto Geno when he's supposed to leave, not even sure what he's crying about, just a huge, terrifying moment of emotional overwhelm about, you know, everything, making itself felt coming out of his body. Geno is like Oh My God You Are Not Okay.

Geno does have to leave eventually but he's stunned by the realisation that he's a lot more emotionally invested in Sid than he ever expected to be.

There's no easy ending to this one, folks. Sid and Geno try to make the long-distance thing work, visiting each other as often as Geno's hockey schedule allows, but Sid's not willing to move away from his entire support system when he has a small pup, and Geno's not able to get away from his KHL obligations. But it's really fucking hard and not fully satisfying for either of them. The pup is a great source of joy to both of them and they both surprise themselves by how much they enjoy being hands-on parents together. They do indeed have the second pup together; they both grow up in the States but travel to Russia regularly. Sid is the primary parent but makes use of the league-provided nannies to get back to his own hockey career ASAP after the second pregnancy.

PS. Those two pups get a much younger third sibling when S+G retire and are finally able to be together full time.

Wow what an absurdly long answer!!!

i need to know moreeee about your abo breeding verse. how does it work logistically after sid has the baby — who raises the kid and how do they balance custody if geno is still in the khl 🥹

Hiii anon thank you so much for asking!!!

Okay so Sid is contractually obliged to have two pups but he is not obliged to raise them or be a parent to them in any way except biological. This is the league's investment and they are willing to sort out nannies/adoptive parents, whatever. Most omegas in the programme choose to be hands on parents to some extent because, y'know, it's hard to completely hand your offspring over to someone else even if you were pressured into having those offspring in the first place. (A significant number of omegas quit hockey entirely after having pups because rehab is too hard/they decided they preferred being stay at home parents/they only tried to get into the breeding programme in the first place because it seemed like a good way to make a lot of money by having pups which was what they wanted to do anyway.)

So, onto Sid: he had initially thought he'd hand over the pup to a foster family asap and go back to hockey hockey hockey. He wouldn't completely cut ties with the pup, because he knew his parents would want to meet their grandpup, but he definitely wasn't going to be a hands on parent.

However, once he's pregnant he's obviously not allowed to play, and he has a lot of time to sit around missing that mysterious tall Russian and then feeling odd about how much he misses someone he barely knows. (Worth remembering at this point that Sid and Geno can't say more than two words to each other!) He decides his carrier leave project is going to be learning Russian! Who can say why! He also makes the big decision that he's going to try and have his obligatory second pup asap, so he only has to rehab once, and he can do it while he's younger. This means he's going to be out of competitive hockey for at least three years, which takes him up to 25.

Ok I have to go into work now but more later, anon! I promise!

[kageyamas-love]

eren random + boyfriend headcannons

a/n: lightly proofread, sorry for any misspellings! this is modern au btw!!

warnings: might be a bit suggestive? other then that nothing

starts petty arguments, he’ll get really heated too. then, 5 minutes later he’s completely forgotten about the fight and’ll ask if you want to go get food.

gets jealous really easily. jean would definitely (jokingly) flirt with you just to piss him off💀

he’s actually really awkward. the first couple months into your relationship, he was really shy with pda.

speaking of pda, now that he’s comfortable, he’s always touching some part of you whenever he can. (if you’re comfortable with it)

he denies that he’s clingy, but he doesn’t hide it very well lolll

he does that thing where when he stretches, you can see a strip on his stomach, and u can see the band of his boxers. (does that make sense?)

he has such a high libido💀 take that as you will

that being said, constant make out sessions whenever you guys are alone.

isn’t a fan of crazy pet names. he’ll just call you “babe” or “baby”

but he (secretly) really likes the over the top pet names. (only in private tho because he doesn’t want jean or anyone to find out and tease him!! he’ll be a blush baby)

he is SO ticklish. however, he tried his best to not let you know that. armin ended up mentioning it. he’s especially ticklish on his stomach.

he has a polaroid picture of you in his phone case/wallet, and it always lightens his mood when he sees it.

when he gives you his clothes for you to wear, he always has a blush on his face.

it’s really easy to fluster him.

i feel like if he were to date you, you’d have to be pretty close to him and have known him a while.

mikasa lowkey didn’t like you at first but she realized you were good for eren, so she backed off.

his fav thing is to just lay on your chest after a long day and fall asleep there, with you playing with his hair.

he’s tried to bake you stuff but it tastes sooo bad. if you catch him cooking or baking there’s a mess every where.

since we’re talking modern au, he obviously plays some kind of sport, (i’m thinking hockey or soccer) and he’ll give you his jersey to wear. he thinks it’s hot af.

i think he really would like when you wear comfy clothes (so sweats and stuff) and when you look really comfortable.

he’d like to do dates like amusement parks or fun fairs.

brags about you all the time to his friends, like jean, lmao.

he insists to pay on every date! he doesn’t care how many times you’ve told him you’d pay.

overall, he just loves you so much!! he wants to be the best boyfriend ever.

[tapejob]

uhh why was china getting kicked out of the olympics

long story short: no but actually yes

currently, china's men's hockey team is the ranked 32rd worldwide, aka the lowest ranked team to qualify for the men's olympics in... a while

+ there's only uhh 12 teams in the men's tournament

now how they qualified at all was because after winning the olympic bid, china was granted automatic berths in both men's and women's hockey tournaments by the iihf

(in theory this is fine: iihf did this for south korea in 2018 + promising move to grow the game in china while also forcing china to buff its hockey programs in general + give china a chance to actually make headway in a major winter sport, which we've been historically abysmal at)

in practice this is very not fine

in preliminary qualifiers for the 2018 olympics, team china came dead last in group L, winning 0 games with a grand -21 goal differential against serbia, spain, and iceland (currently ranked #29, #31, and #35 respectively). it was so brutal i gaslighted myself into totally forgetting about it until i came across it again today

and btw china hasn't played an international game since 2019 bc of COVID

anyway remember back in april when they announced the olympic groupings:

what's that? what's that in the front? we have canada (#1), US (#6), germany (#7) and china (#32). okay.

also, in case you've forgotten (you haven't). daddy bettman is letting the nhl loose on the olympics this year, with crosby and mcdavid definitely out to tear up in team canada and who knows who else in the rest of the group. china gets net zero benefit from this whole ordeal: we have one (1) nhl player currently living his best life in cornell. he spent last year becoming a business analyst.

this isn't even like a regular year. the nhl talent pool alone right now? absolutely off the shits. scmp aptly puts it as "the planet’s most talent-rich ice hockey tournament in eight years"

bringing back this quote from a former coach because i think it sums up quintessential team china hockey:

you have got to help me

so basically no development internationally, abysmal roster at best with little changes at the senior level compared to the last olympics where we got completely rimmed blind

anyway

because the iihf is desperately trying not to rapidly descend into clown representation, we leave china with two options:

get china to recruit some boys from north america/europe with chinese heritage + naturalize them in time for the olympics so we have a decent roster

get kicked out

option 1 sounds pretty good, tbh, except for the fact that the iihf has a rule that players have to play in their new country for at least 2 years before switching nationalities. bit too late for that but this is okay because apparently we are so catastrophically bad that the iihf is willing to bend the eligibility rules to avoid a murder on international ice

option 1 would also sound pretty good because we've actually been recruiting a lot of our heritage boys via Kunlun Red Stars. not a bad choice, since it gives them runtime in the KHL

we are ignoring the fact that they haven't qualified for playoffs since their founding, and had the worst season in their history in 20-21

IT WOULD BE PRETTY GOOD except for the fact that apparently the KRS had a "falling out" with the chinese ice hockey association. now all our potential recruits (read: literally all ethnically chinese players) are unusable until the general administration of sports gets its shit together

you fucked up a perfectly good team is what they did. look at it. it's god anxiety.

"there are reports that players from the Soviet bloc are being considered, perhaps those from Central Asia, who look at least a little “Chinese”" stop stop stop stop stop oh my fucking god

there's also an emergency option which is to beg a ton of white guys to join. this is how we got our coach. we hired a canadian coach for team china hockey. who are we

we're on the trajectory to get pretty historically bodied which is something that the iihf would love to prevent and the US would love to enable. also read this hot take i found that made me start crying

"avoid rubbing it in" you have GOT TO HELP ME

anyway, there was a source from iihf that said there's nothing expected to change with china's participation, but luc tardif said there would be an official decision by end of october as to whether china gets the chopping block out of their very own tournament or face global demolition on the world stage

pray for me besties i am unwell

also bonus for some incredible headlines we got out of this:

[mikkomacko]

Tag mutuals you want to get to know better!

Shout-out to my new friend @suitandtys

Favorite time of the year: I like September because it's my birth month and all three of my favorite sports seasons overlap, however I'm a winter girl so December-March are also top tier

Comfort Food: Depending on the time of year I switch between hot dogs, chicken and dumpling soup, and chili cheese fries

Favorite dessert: Coffee cake and plain or banana cheesecake

Things you collect: hockey and baseball cards, star wars trading cards, movie tickets, game day tickets, pennants, and smashed pennies (I'm a big collector lol)

Favorite drink: iced matcha lattes, water, root beer, and Fanta

Favorite musical artist: physically cannot name just one so my favs are 5sos, One Direction both together and solo, BTR, Halsey, Kacey Musgraves

Last song you listened to: Narco by Blasterjaxx and Timmy Trumpet

Last movie you watched: He's Just Not That Into You (I'm a sucker for romance movies)

Last Series you watched: The Summer I Turned Pretty

Series your currently watching: Watching Gilmore Girls as I type this

Current obsession: Nico Hischier in a Mets hat

Dream place to visit: Number 1 priority is visiting every MLB park. If I can't do that I still really want to go to Canada, probably Toronto but idk. Also want to go to Australia to see a Kangaroo. But I love NYC so I want to go back there too

Something you want: to be loved, feel comfortable in my body, succeeded in my future career, and for my friends to always be happy and healthy

Currently working on: Tyson Jost dad piece because I'm incapable of writing without making the main guy a father. Also contemplating a mikko or Burky blurb

Tagging my bestie so she knows I love her @boybands-baseball

Also tagging some people who's blogs make me smile

@syntheticavenger @jostystyles @rosesvioletshardy

(Absolutely no pressure to do this btw)

[cricketnationrise]

Lil ransom POV that’s been knocking around since Nurseyweek

seemed like a good time to post

_X_

Ransom loves Samwell, even if he can only make it down for Alumni Weekend.

This was the place where he had met his best friends, played swasome hockey, and made some banging spreadsheets, if he does say so himself. And he does. Because Excel backed him up.

“Yo, Ransom! What’s up?!” Ransom spins around at the sound of his name, and then –

“Oh, chill.”

He really should have braced himself. Nursey always was like a puppy. But like a Newfoundland puppy. Or some other puppy that doesn’t realize how big they are. Because now he and Nursey are both on the ground.

In the back of his mind, Ransom knows they are completely in the way of people trying to get to class, but he’s just so glad to see Nursey in person that he doesn’t care.

“Nursey! What have we said about curbing your enthusiasm?”

“That I shouldn’t because it’s a delightful part of my personality?” Nursey asks.

“5 points to Nursey!”

They finally manage to untangle themselves enough to stand up and move off the sidewalk, Ransom initiating a proper hug. “It’s good to see you, got time for Annie’s?”

“Chyeah for sure! Oh man, I have so much to tell you.” And they’re off. Just like Ransom never left. It’s comforting to know that Nursey can still ramble on with the best of them. He was worried about Nursey a little bit this year. He knew first-hand how hard senior year could be, especially with an A on his jersey. Listening to Nurse go off about his classes, how much he missed Bitty’s baking, how much more terrifying Chowder is in goal this year, Ransom grins. Nursey seems to have gained a new version of his chill. He seems happy, and in control of things.

One of the first things they bonded over was their respective anxiety. Ransom is glad that Nursey is starting senior year in a much healthier mental place than he did. One thing off Ransom’s mental worry checklist.

“…And yeah, now that Dex is captain we have all these morning practices again, like Jack, but not quite so early, thank god. He’s doing a good job with the new freshmen; they really look up to him. He’s started making bread, actually? I think Bitty sent him a recipe. Oh, and Chowder and Farms are even cuter this year than ever before, its nauseating man. But all three of us are in a class together, actually! It’s really chill, we’re taking that photography class like Jack took! Dex suggested it – which was totally chill of him. He was all its arty for you Nursey, Chowder is enthusiastic about everything, and its technical enough that I won’t feel totally lost. Like how cool is that? It’s a really cool class, relaxing, weirdly. Like, meditative, ya know? Anyway, tell me about you, man. It’s been too long since we caught up!”

As they get in line at Annie’s, Ransom fills him in on working with Holster and applying to med school for next year.

“Yeah so I figured out I want to be research focused, and probably kid-focused? Like, I want to be able to help kids with what I’m researching, so I’ve been looking into what I need for that, but it’s going well, I think. Hilariously, no one at work seems to realize that Holster and I a) know each other and b) are dating already. I’ve had 4 people in the last week come up to me and ask if I’m seeing anyone because Adam in the other department would be PERFECT for me. Truly amazing.”

“That’s hilarious, holy shit.”

“What can I get you today?” the barista asks.

“I’ll get a vanilla latte, please,” Ransom says.

“And I’ll have a Chai Latte with a shot of vanilla. Oh, also a Hot Honey Ginger Lemon Tea. Thanks, Steph,” Nursey rattles off.

They collect their drinks and head toward the Haus without needing to talk about anything in particular. It’s always restful just hanging out with Nursey. Ransom is the most extrovert ever to extrovert, but even he needs down time sometimes, and Nursey can be, dare he say it, chill, when he wants to be. Also, it’s a beautiful fall day, and it’s nice to just soak it up. Nursey is probably composing like 5 poems in his head about it right now.

Walking up the steps to the Haus, Ransom pauses a little, just to savor the moment. He’s been back before this, obviously, but it’s getting harder to visit, and once he’s in med school, it’ll be even rarer. He wants to keep this place in his memory forever.

“Dex! You’re alive!” he hears Nursey yell from the kitchen. Walking in himself, he sees Dex, looking utterly miserable. He’s wrapped in a blanket, wearing his roadie flannel sweatpants, his SMH hoodie, and – is that Nursey’s green beanie? Ransom blinks, trying to process.

“Hey Nursey. Hey Ransom,” Dex rasps out, trying to smile at Ransom before coughing a little.

“Oh hey, I got you this from Annie’s since you weren’t feeling well this morning,” says Nursey, “It’s the you tea.”

“Thanks. The U tea?” Dex asks before taking a sip and sighing in apparent delight.

“No, the YOU, Y-O-U tea, the Dex tea,” Nursey says.

“Why is it the Dex tea?” Ransom asks.

“It’s the Hot Honey Ginger Lemon tea,” Nursey explains.

Dex goes bright red, and Ransom would blame the coughing fit he has, but it definitely started in his ears and is it just him or do those coughs sound a little forced?

“Did you just get him the only thing with Ginger in the name?” Ransom asks, amused. Dex narrows his eyes at Ransom while Nursey looks in the fridge for a snack. Good to know that Dex’s crush on Nursey is healthy as ever, even when he’s not.

“No, but that’s an added bonus,” Nursey says, “I got him tea because tea always helps my throat. The ginger, lemon, and honey all work really well together for a cold; my moms swear by it, I always had it growing up. No it’s the Dex tea because its ginger like your hair, obviously, and honey like your eyes, sorta, and lemon like your attitude when you’re stressed, and hot because – “ Nursey pauses like he just realizes he was on the verge of waxing poetic about Dex.

“Hot because what?” Ransom asks. Ransom is outright grinning now, while Dex is looking determinedly into his cup like maybe he could drown himself in it, blushing more deeply than Ransom has ever seen him. And Nursey – Nursey is visibly putting on a layer of chill, of armor. He catches Ransom’s eyes, nods once, takes a deep breath, and finishes the thought,

“And hot because you’re hot, Dex.”

“What.”

“You heard me.”

“I – wow, Nurse. I don’t know what to say.”

“You could say yes.”

“I could say yes?” Dex asks in a small voice.

“To whether you’d come on a date with me when you feel better.”

“I – I –,” Dex looks at Nursey intently, probably trying to see whether he’s serious or chirping. Ransom holds his breath. If they remember that he’s here, they might not ever get this far again.

“Yes. I’d like that.”

“Did you just say yes?” Nursey asks, smile starting to break out.

“Yes. When I don’t feel like death on toast. Yes.” Dex is smiling too.

“Chi – “

“GUYS!” Ransom interrupts before Nursey can say chill, and also because he’s legit tearing up right now, “If I wasn’t so damn happy for you both I’d be fining the hell out of you.”

“Like you could, I’m the captain now.”

“Yeah but the group chat would back me up on the sap level in the kitchen right now,” Ransom smirks.

“Alright, fair.” Dex says, taking another sip of his tea. His blankets slip down to his elbows now, exposing the number. But instead of #24, C there is very clearly a different number. #28, A.

Nursey falls off his chair in his attempt to make sure that what he’s seeing is real.

“Dexy, are you wearing my hoodie? And my hat?”

Ransom’s phone chimes.

Holster: U @ the Haus? I’m omw with Chowder and Whiskey rn

“Maybe.”

Me: yup It finally happened btw

“Maybe? Dex its right there!”

Holster: what happened? The railing finally gave out?

“Maybe they’re comfortable. And warm. I’m sick.”

Me: nah man Well maybe idk Haven’t left the kitchen But Dex and Nursey They’re goin on a date

“Well maybe if I’d known how hot it is to see you in my clothes I would have asked you out sooner,” Nursey says flirtatiously.

Holster: !!!!!! DUDE HOLY SHIT DEETS RANS I NEED DEETS

“I signed up for this. I literally signed up for this,” Dex groans.

Ransom: Nursey brought him tea That reminded him of Dex Because it’s the hot honey ginger lemon tea And he got to why hot reminded him of dex And was actually smooth??? That was a trip to watch Dex said yes And now they are bickering again But like its sweet?

“Yeah you did, Dexy. Can’t get rid of me now. You know I’m ride or die.”

Holster: HOLY SHIT I’m so proud of them Chowder is crying btw Oh wait Now he’s sprinting toward the Haus So Incoming

Me: 👍

“Hey lovebirds.” Nursey and Dex look over at him, both surprised he is still here. They definitely forgot about him. “Chowder’s on his way. Also Holster and Whiskey. So. Get pumped for that because the groupchat isn’t far behind.”

Dex puts his head on the table and groans unintelligibly. Nursey just beams and puts his arm around Dex’s shoulders, “Oh, nice. Now we don’t have to stress about when to tell him.”

Ransom just laughs and preps the text he’s gonna send to the groupchat. He really should try to visit more often. Ransom loves Samwell.

_X_

[shinymooncolor]

hey! you don’t have to answer this, but i know close to nothing about hockey and my family and i have never really watched it and i’m starting to get very interested, but i have no idea where to start 😅 what do you think i should focus on first, as a newbie? what should i absolutely know as a fan? what teams are pretty good in your opinion? again, thanks for your help if ever you see this p.s: i really love your posts and they bring a smile to me face, so thank you for your hard work! <3

Hi!

Ohhh well. First of all. Welcome to the nerve wracking, nail biting, jaw clenching, gut wrenching, heartbreaking and utterly incredible world of (ice) hockey. Angry muscle machines on skates chasing a tiny rubber puck in the nhl and their goddess equivalents in wnhl - what’s not to love?

You’ve decided on a hell of a year to join. Due to Covid, the normal system was paused and a recent bubble playoffs series played and later won by Tampa Bay Lightning a few weeks ago. The new season would’ve begun last week but is currently expected to start around December.

I’d say the best starting point would be to watch some games - YouTube has a lot of highlights, game compilations etc. and browse hockey tumblr. Hockey tumblr is a great combination of hockey gossip, game reviews, fans sharing their love, passion and (hateful) opinions about players, clubs and the sport in general.

My personal team faves are a handful - you see, the league is “split” into two conferences - east and west and within here a few other divisions dictating who the teams will play on a more recent basis. The clubs in the nhl being split over North America and Canada means a lot of ground to cover and therefore it’s split like this - time zones, distance and whatever. So maybe decide on a conference first? East or west.

I’m an eastern conference gal meself, but the west sure has its merits too.

So. Teams. You’re about to start a rumble here 😂

I am a personal fan of the Pittsburgh Penguins 🐧 they play good hockey, in spite of their idiot general manager (I’ve got posts detailing why he’s an ass hat extraordinarie). They’re captained by Canada’s hockey savior, Sidney Crosby: hockey robot, yellow crocs enthusiast , triple gold member (youngest captain to get all three?) and the goodest boy in the league. He’s been heralded as the next great one yada yada since he was about 5? And shot pucks into a dryer back in Canada - with that came a lot of shit for the poor guy who, in his own words, just wants to play hockey. And he’s good. He’s got his team of French Canadian d-men (letang, dumo), a whole lot of goalie drama which seems to be a pattern and his Russian (husband) assistant captain Evgeni Malkin who’s got the cutest kid, a really cool wifey (seriously her insta is 10000 better than geno’s own) and a wicked sense of humor which he conviently hides behind his “English big bad today” excuse to avoid media on a daily basis (he’s played this card since his wild escape and temporary defection from Russia back in 2006) seriously google it. It’s wild. They’ve won three cups since 2009, they’re contenders in the playoffs most years and their pr department provides some hilarious videos of captain Canada and his Russian (husband) A. It’s a true love story. Sue me. We’ve got an intense rivalry with philly and the caps. Seriously. That orange flyers jersey is intense - even if philly’s mascot is the next president.

Funnily enough, my strange obsession with Russian hockey players have led to the most disturbing but developing club crush on the Washington capitals who are the penguins’ nemesis.

I mean, this club led by the one and only gr8 8 mr Alexander Ovechkin is a rollercoaster of emotion and hot daddies in skates armed with sticks and a murder Swede.

So. Washington caps used to be a joke in the league until they went and drafted mr ovechkin first overall, brought him to the capital and let him do his thing. He’s got a rep for being a hell of a lot of fun on the ice (if you’re on his team) and one of those players that people love to hate (even if they can’t take away how freakishly good he is at hockey) - look up his impossible goal(s)! He’s an exuberant, fun loving Russian with a heart of gold and a missing tooth. In 2007, the caps went shopping for a center just for ovi who needed a playmaker and a slap shot feeeder - they went and drafted the Swedish angel (maybe assassin) (Lars) Nicklas Backstrom - and the purest hockey marriage was forged. The actual words (we needed a center for ovi and ovi wanted backstrom) have been said. Yes, these two Are now famously the mama and papa of the caps and they have a roster of unruly (and handsome) hockey babies with the fighting menace Tom Wilson, bird impersonator and Russian cat Evgeni Kuznetzov and a whole army of other adorable (albeit hockey playing menaces) babies. Most recently they had the leagues daddiest daddy goalie Mr Holtbeast as the fun and handsome canadien cowboy uncle but he’s ventured to Vancouver to adopt a new group of hockey babies. To compensate, the caps went shopping in New York and brought the one and only king Henrik from the crease in msg to be the goalie mentor for baby Russian caps goalie and to keep the daddy energy flowing.

(Seriously why are Swedish players part time models? Their national team strategy is to be so handsome the other teams are distracted. It’s a thing. Look it up)

I also love a handful of other players on other teams (I really don’t dislike any team in particular - but you’ll meet some dedicated and strong minded fans here)

Erik Horse Johnson, Cale Makar and Nikita Zadorov (Colorado Avs - zad have recently been traded to the blackhawks (not sure how I feel about that). Phwucking fun team. Who needs teeth anyways.

Marc Andre Fleury (Vegas now but hell always be a penguin to me)

The Russian gang in Tampa - and giant Swede victor Hedman (seriously he’s massive)

The canes (Carolina) and their collective of Finnish and Russian babies (aho, svech) with chaotic Marty and former penguin Baby Staal as captain

And a whole lot of others too. It’s hard to choose.

The Dallas stars and the most precious bean of them all (Russian) dobby - Anton khudobin their backup goalie turned playoffs hero and fashion icon. The man said we’re not going home and threw the entire team on his back and dragged them to the final. And their homoerotically charged captain and his alt captain and their Hollywood epic soap worthy relationship. Stallions, people, Stallions...

Btw we like to project our brash queerness onto this league. You’ll learn why quickly. There’s only so much talks about hot hands, slick moves, eternal love for teammates and quite frankly obscene (sexy) amounts of kneeling, roughing (let’s face its it’s just aggressive cuddling) and teammates honorably defending teammates.

Anyways. I love hockey. He. Sorry.

Fun fact I’ve dragged @canesinthecrease kicking and screaming into the hellhole that is the caps and I’m working on convincing @dontpuckwithme about the incredibly sexy thing that is Russians and Canadians being secretly married in Pittsburgh.

Great, sexy, amazing, cool, smart and wonderful hockey ladies to follow for even more amazing content on more clubs (the hurricanes - also a team I’m starting to love). They’re my queer sherpas and emotional support network.

Hope you can use this dear (new) hockey friend and mutual 💖🐧

[braden-holtbys]

Wonders of the Younger

A/N: Hey all! I’m back at it again with a fic of one of my mans, Alex Iafallo. As always, part of it’ll be under the cut.

You and your friend had just moved to Manhattan Beach about a week ago from a small town near the California/Arizona state border. Sure it was a bit more expensive to live in such a beautiful area, but you couldn’t complain too much since it was better than being in the desert. To be honest, you both were still getting yourselves familiar with the city especially after spending a couple days moving into your two bed apartment. 

“Hey Y/N, you wanna go surfing?” your friend, Sarah, asked. “The weather’s perfect!!”

“Yeah, why not,” you responded as you got up from the couch. “But you should know that I’m still not very good at surfing.”

“Hey what counts is that you still have fun right?” Sarah asked once again, with an excited tone in her voice.

“Aha yeah true,” you added as the both of you started to get ready. 

It wasn’t like you were in a hurry to go since it was literally a fifteen minute walk from your place to the beach. At the same time, you just wanted to be in the water already. Luckily, you both were ready to go and the walk was quick.

You picked a spot to sit down, and you watched Sarah go to the water first as she surfed. It felt like a good twenty minutes before you decided to join in the fun and give surfing another try. 

“Hey look who decided to come in,” Sarah said playfully as she swam next to you.

“Yeah, I can't get better if I don’t try, right?” you asked as she nodded. It felt like hours passed by while you surfed. It was great, even if you fell off your board a few times since it seems like the problem for you was perfecting your form. 

2:54 pm 

“Hey Y/N, are you ready to go?” Sarah asked as she swam closer to the beach.

“Oh yeah, we’ve been here for a while,” you replied as you caught up with her. You both got off your boards and walked on the sand. Of course, you hated how the sand stuck to your feet when they were wet. A terrible feeling, truly. 

The both of you were deep in conversation about what you two were doing the rest of the day and tomorrow, barely paying attention to whatever else is going on. You were startled as you accidentally bumped into someone. 

“Oh my gosh!! I’m so sorry, I wasn’t paying attention,” you exclaimed. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” the man chuckled, seemingly unbothered. “You good? I’m Alex by the way”

“I’m good too. I’m Y/N and this is my friend Sarah,” you replied as Alex smiled at your friend. 

“Hey, not to sound weird but you seem new at surfing. I can give you some pointers if you’re interested.” Alex stated. 

“Oh I’d love that! I’m not that good at surfing and she’s better than me,” you stated as you took out your phone. “Here, you can put in your number.”

“For sure,” Alex said as he quickly put in his number. “There ya go, you can text me anytime Y/N. Anyways, my friend’s waiting for me so I gotta go. It was nice meeting you both.”

“Yeah, nice meeting you too,” you and Sarah said in unison, waving goodbye as he walked away. You both walked off and lord, he’s good looking. 

3:23 pm 

“Oooohhhh, he’s cute,” Sarah said as she unlocked the apartment door. You nodded in response, putting your board against one of the walls. You decided to take out your phone and text him real quick so he can have your number.

“I guess he’ll be my new surfing instructor,” you cooed. 

The next few days turned into a couple weeks and you both have settled in your apartment. You’ve also been able to keep in touch with Alex and meet up with him at the beach so he can help you with surfing. And honestly, it’s been going great. You loved hanging out with him even though sometimes he’d be away for a week or so at a time. Sometimes you’d think you did something wrong when he didn’t text back, but you’d be over it since you figured he was busy and forgot to reply. 

Saturday, 7:03 pm

You and Sarah had decided to go to one of the local bars just to get out and have some fun. Sarah had come back to the table with some drinks and also focused her attention on the one of the televisions that was showing a hockey game. 

“Oh, I forgot that the Kings were playing tonight!” She raised her voice a bit so you could hear her. God, you hated that it was crowded and loud, but it was a Saturday night so you dealt with it.

“Right. I don’t really understand hockey but it seems interesting,” you responded, also slightly yelling. “We should go to a game sometime and you can teach me all about it too.”

“Oh hell yeah Y/N-”

“Kings score! Iafallo scores with his fourth of the season and puts the Kings in the lead for the first time tonight! 2 to 1, Kings,” the announcer exclaimed. “And there goes the second period. We’ll see ya back for the third.”

“Hey isn’t that the surfing guy you’ve been hanging out with?” Sarah asked, just as surprised as you were.

“Yeah????? What the hell, I wouldn’t have known that he played hockey!!” you replied with a smile. You took out your phone to text him, of course you didn’t expect him to respond immediately.

Y: ‘Hey I didn’t know that you play hockey! Nice goal btw!’

A: ‘Hey glad you caught the game… And thanks!’

Y: ‘You’re on a road trip right?’

A: ‘We are and should be coming back late tonight. Something on your mind?’

“Oooh who are you texting??” Sarah asked, a smirk on her face.

“It’s Alex. I’m surprised he responded quickly,” you responded.

“Are y’all gonna hang out again? Do you know?”

“I haven’t asked but he said they’re coming back late tonight and I don’t want to seem too pushy in asking to hang out. I mean we’ve been hanging out a lot lately and I’m sure he has other friends he wants to hang out with,” you stated, frowning a little. 

“I’m sure he likes hanging out with you,” Sarah said, putting a hand on yours to reassure you to try to not overthink.

“Yeah, you’re right.”

Y: ‘Nah, not really. Just let me know when y’all get home so I know you got back safe.’

A: ‘Ahah will do. Maybe we can hang out tomorrow or Monday if you’re not busy, yeah?’

Y: ‘I’ll see ya Monday. I want you to rest up tomorrow.’

A: ‘Sounds good. Anyways, I’ll text ya later.’

You both continued to watch the game at the bar with it going into overtime. It didn’t take long for the Kings to score once more, ending the game with a 3-2 score. Sarah had called up an Uber since it was already past 10 pm. It was about a 20 minute drive back to your place and you both immediately went to bed. You were too tired to scroll through your Instagram or any of your socials, even if it helped a little to fall asleep. However, you saw a notification pop up that Alex had found and followed you on Instagram. Surprise, surprise. 

You laid in bed with your eyes closed, but your mind felt like it was going 40 miles an hour. You wondered if Alex liked you. Sure he’s hot and looks like he can get with whoever, but you still wondered as you both continued to hang out. You didn’t want to ruin anything of course, but you opened your eyes again only to see that it was just past two in the morning. You checked your phone real quick to see that Alex did follow through and had just texted you that they landed. Smiling, you texted back with just a ‘glad to hear’ and went back to sleep. 

Was this one of the many wonders of the younger? Somehow your heart felt full, even though you had just met Alex weeks ago. Maybe there is something more.