#btw no pressure @ the ppl I tagged
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spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner
#vulnerable tag rambles ahead please be kind abt them i didnt intent to ramble this much but i dont wanna delete it eitehr#me to every single man i have ever dated after 6mo-1y: yeah hey this really isnt working out i dont really know why but i really hate mysel#and i dont want to blame you because i dont think you did anything inherently wrong here; i think this is something about me but i need#space to figure out why im feeling this way [every single one reacted by telling me No i wasnt allowed to leave btw]#i hold very complex feelings about these relationships esp bc of them ending in very violent/chaotic ways most of the time#but its interesting to look back at it all and realize ive left every man for the same reason (which is that ive hated myself Every Single#Time ive dated a man) and its funny bc i recognized the self hate pretty early on w/ cishet men but when it came to queer men it was#much more confusing (esp w/ nto knowing Any lesbians at that point in my life). im so happy im a lesbian tbh#i have a lot of issues w/ the racism fatphobia and transmisogyny present in lesbian groups#and also coming out as a lesbian really truly saved my life. before i met my wife i was quite literally in a 3yr abusive relationship that#definitely would have died in if i hadnt realzied i was a lesbian and ran from him#its also weird seeing liek the hard evidence of the things that happened to me btween 2016-2020 tbh#cause that was such a bad time of my life. i truly dont know how i survived it but im so glad i did#like the three major relationships in my life b4 meeting my wife was: guy who was in college when i was in HS who stalked me when i left;#guy who was a year younger than me who cheated on me the entire time while telling me he was being victimized (he wasnt; this was very mess#guy who saw the very messy toxic ldr i was in and helped me dump my ex then decided that meant we were in a relationship [insert 3 yrs here#and admittedly all 3 years with him werent the same level of abusive but it was definitely unhealthy from the start considering I Didnt Kno#we were together until he wanted to celebrate vday and got mad i didnt know our anniversary - and like this isnt including the other stuff#that happened between those Relatonships[tm] (cause ive never been monogamous; these were just the Major Relationships)#like i genuinely think if i hadnt come out i'd be dead rn given just how dangerous my relationships were/continued getting#i am also so tired now that ive seen all this cause like. fuck i can barely believe it and i not only lived it but have PTSD about it#i should write about my life sometime. i feel like it'd be cathartic to try and make a tangible timeline and stories from the years ang stu#anyway yeah. be nice about the tag rambles. dont message me with pity or curiosity or anything about this. i dont usually talk abt this stu#publicly bc i hate the ways ppl start tryign to baby me when they realize my life has been extremely fucked up until only a few years ago#n im still working on accepting kindness from others bc of [insert life traumas here] but its a long process so pls respect my need for jus#being heard rn w/o too much pressure< 3 (but ig if u do read this can u like it cause i feel a little crazy seeing all the evidence of the#stuff i experienced now also cause fuck ik logically it was but also i cant believe it was all real still yk)
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sharing this here too! because i am still ~on my bullshit~
#dndads#dndads spoilers#kasey rambles#sparrow oak garcia#i keep going through the tags and cringing so badly#its not even hard for me to continue to be a sparrow apologist btw#like i simply remember that sparrow was 20 when he had hero and under an immense amount of pressure#from literally everyone in his entire life#to birth the chosen one and save the world from a mess that he and his brother made#and then i think about how its obvious sparrow learned from his mistakes and is actively working to be better#and im like yeah! i forgive him.#is he the best father? no. but he's better than ppl give him credit for
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TV show tag game
Thank you @dchan87 for tagging me :D
Rules: without naming them, post 10 gifs of your favorite TV shows, then tag people
I'm going to tag @grimcoordinater @lilalilan @lilacponds @thecolorofthegame @kinneydrugsoflc @arandomeldritchbeing
#honorable mention: good omens#no matter how many tv series/movies/anime/etc I love the sec I need to list some my mind just goes blank lol#btw no pressure @ the ppl I tagged#if u don't like this kinda stuff feel free to ignore it lol#oh n if u don't like being tagged in general please lmk#otoh if u aren't tagged but wanna take part go ahead! :D#I tried to tag more ppl but said tags broke for seemingly no reason as soon as I saved the draft before posting#tag game#it's been so long since I've been tagged in one lol#dy talks
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2023 CHARACTERS WRAPPED *★,°*:.☆( ̄▽ ̄)/$:*.°★* 。
tagged by @intothenightosphere 🌹
tagging: @illgiveyouahint, @maya-matlin, @somuchfin, @the-gayest-dovah, @awkward-smirks, @yeo-rims, @bucxys, @pubbybread, @theeonlyheartbreaker, and anyone else who wants to do this!
#tagged#this took way to long to come up with#also joy/jobu from eeaao should be up here as well as silas from tsbit#i feel like i'm missing ppl but i think this is pretty accurate#looking at this list though i'm curious what this says about me...#anyways i love them 💞💞💞#no pressure to anyone i tagged btw
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genuine life tip: have at least two non overlapping social circles so that if someone does something that mildly irritates you that is not a big deal and doesn't need to become a big deal you can go bitch about it somewhere that it won't get back to the person you're mildly irritated at
#sorrelposting#this isn't about anything anyone im friends wiht has done btw#i just saw a tag on a post abt vent channels#about like#apparently it's a thing to vent about ppl in the same server as the one with the channel ur venting in?????????#that is not venting guys that is just turning up the pressure
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tagged by @heartreformer yay !!! thank you !!!
last song played :
favorite song : ( the answer to this changes so often LOL )
song of choice :
taglist : @zxrtecs @unarmed @soul-cairn @corpseposting and whoever else wants to play !!!
#⸸#song of choice is just because i think more people should listen to peeping tom . ive been really into it lately .#no pressure to those i tagged to play btw :) i always struggle to think of ppl to tag cause im like . what if they dont like tag games . 😰
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updated my rules to include shipping info + a bit more about my monster muses specifically, since shipping with at LEAST one muse on this account is probably inevitable at some point
#『 from the rumblings comes a song: ooc. 』#tldr i don't know who is and isn't open for ships so if you jive with a particular muse after writing with them some by all means feel free#to ask and we can see if it would work; crossover ships are absolutely wonderful too so don't feel afraid to ask even if the verse is#different!#also that all my monster muses are fully sapient and open to shipping with humans/wyverians/nonhumans/other monsters/etc provided they vibe#and most of them possess their true form,a 'hybrid' form and their human/wyverian form but all of them can and will spend at least Some tim#in their true forms and a lot of them Prefer that form#i don't think? that'll be an Issue here on tumblr but on twitter ojhhhh my god nobody would rp with you if you didn't basically make your#monster muse a glorified human. i had ppl try to pressure my muse ic to use their human form just. for a conversation?? then proceeded to#drop the int and cease to acknowledge me whatsoever when i refused because my muse didn't see the point in wasting the energy to shift form#when they can talk perfectly fine in their true form#not ALL of my monster muses speak words verbally (soul comes to mind as one who typically doesn't) but those who don't still have plenty of#ways of expressing themselves#also they choose not to not because they CAN'T because they either don't Want to or mimicking the sound of speech is hard on their throat#(ie soul) so they opt to not unless they Really want to make a point or make damn sure they're being listened to#nonverbal/non-words communication is a valid form of communication and i like writing natural monster/dragon communication through sounds#and body language. it is very fun<3#sorry for the tag spam ramble btw i do this Often. nicer than dumping it all in the body of the post yknow?
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i was tagged by @i-am-church-the-cat to post the last line i've written~
Alex's warm body against his back, arm wrapped around his torso, is new, unfamiliar, yet he's not sure how he'll sleep without it when he leaves.
i am tagging @oversteerey @saintdevote @flawlessassholes & @strawberry-daiquiris if y'all would like 🥰💖
#trying to tag new ppl/ppl i havent seen tagged in this yet~#no pressure AT ALL btw just if yall looking for excuses to share wips like i am 👀#did i sorta rig this by writing today and deciding to do this exactly when i wrote a sentence i really like YES but it did motivate me to#write 2day so it was worth it ladkjakslfjaklsdjf#she writes#tag game#she speaks
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i do not want to get out of bed omfg. this week has been so fucking insane im exhausted but we have aprogram tonight until 7 and i have to facilitate and there are a million things to do today
#but i got my p*riod and cotaught on tuesday and broke up w my counselor on monday and a few days before that redacted redacted so im ph#physically and emotionally exhausted but we have this program tonight until 7 and then 2 trainings tomorrow andi have like 2 meetings inbetw#between those. and i just want to sleep and/or lie down w a heating pad bc my cramps have been brutal this time around. literally could#barely get work done on tuesday bc i was in AGONY and forgot my heating pad and no one could bring it to me from home but it s like i have n#nowhere on campus to lie down or get checked out or anything bc im not a student anymore so i need to just writhe at my desk (<- i have one#of those now finally btw 🥹💗) and jusf hope i don’t pass out. and i didn’t but it was so bad and im not recovered from it yet. idk.#everything is so much. there are some intense and in some cases horrible things happening. iwwish we had time to pause and process them and#that we weren’t so tired and stretched all the time. i wish we didn’t have all these pressures to worry about. i wish we could just have#time to love each other and check in truly and to support each other bc we are friends before we are colleagues methinks and i jsut want us#to be ok and happy and rested and healthy. idk. augh#delete later#purrs#also i think i am not normal when it comes to cramps btw. i think maybe it might not be normal to be in this much pain. or maybe im just#weak or have a low pain tolerance but i feel like it’s a lot worse than it used to be + i get cramps at Other times too and it’s ummmm bad.#ask to tag#like how absolutely insane that this is a huge part of my life and i feel like i can’t even talk abt it and it’s so embarrassing but it#literaly is like.. every other week im scared that im gonna be unable to function bc of pain but i literally say nothing at all and just smi#smile and pretend im fine and barely talk abt it. i don’t think that’s good or normal. and i think ppl should talk abt p*ripds more so it’s#not as weird or bad or gross or cringe whatever to talk abt being in pain and to accommodate urself or whatever despite other ppl knowing#abt it. cringeeeee augh i don’t want to be one of Those people but like. it’s bad and i fucking hate it
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Some recent wins:
-Sang loudly and off-key with my partner. We were both laughing to tears. I was sober.
-Found myself actually thinking about musical theatre today. For myself, for my own interest in it. I wasn't chasing it for a narc high, nor avoiding it due to a crash. It's been a long time since I've thought about my interests for my own sake.
-Invited my friends to hang out
#(btw to the person who reblogged my last post w/supportive tags. ty<33 that made me smile c:)#i've invited my friends to hang out before but have been rejected multiple times#i decided today to start a journal for this. that way i'll be able to see when my friends actually accept offers to hang out#and my brain doesn't just go ''they'll always reject the offer they don't like u''#they said yes this time it worked out rly well!#the journal will also be able to show me if it's one specific person/group of ppl who keep rejecting me (so i cant over-generalize)#and if maybe i just need to change my approach (e.g. i think i come off confident but in reality#ig my insecurity and apologetic attitude come through. so asking people in a really insecure way might make them anxious or may make them#feel pressured. )#(ive also gotta be mindful to not turn that into an identity thing. like. being insecure doesn't mean i'm unlovable. it's fine! ppl get#insecure. i can change my approach without taking it personally if smthn doesn't work)
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10 Songs/10 People
Thank you so much for the tag @starryeyedjanai 💗
Put your music on shuffle and list the first ten songs that come up, then tag ten other people.
Blood on Your Bootheels by Caroline Rose
Vagabond by Caamp
Heaven and Hell by Black Sabbath
Paul by Big Thief
Trying to Kill the Moon by Motherfolk
Delicate by Taylor Swift
Twisted by Johanna Warren
De Selby (Part 2) by Hozier
Hard to Explain by The Strokes
That Funny Feeling by Phoebe Bridgers
I’m tagging: @historyandqueershenanigans @stobinesque @scoops-stevie @imthursdaysyme @transvampireboyfriend @inairbinad @toburnup @patchworkgargoyle @scarcrossdlvrs @steves-strapcollection
#tag games#this is honestly more cohesive than I anticipated#no pressure to anyone tagged btw!!!#I just felt determined to tag 10 ppl
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Cool people I'm holding at nerf gunpoint imploring with a very convincing mien:
@nibbelraz (looks at you with wet boba eyes)
@smolldragon (hey i know we are calling rn but hey)
@kuroko99 (bird boi im holding ur hand)
@thrushsong-kvaris (bird person im holding ur hand)
@rabbitindisguise @rain-droplet @inprisonforsparkling (cool mutuals I'm less close with and am therefore more scare of bothering hiiii)
Talked to my therapist and came to the conclusion that I want to focus on community and joy so, heres an interaction thing!
Hopeful Lighthouse Poll
I just really want there to be spaces away from negativity, and places to foster community. So. Here is a little bastion of hope in the ocean.
(Yes, the horrors exist and persist, we're not ignoring them. Hope is a lighthouse that orients us through the fog. Take care of yourself!)
[PPS, feel free to rb without adding! That helps spread it >:3]
#the people im tagging! no pressure!!#also feel free to reblog the og post not this one fulla tags#or make a chain idc#didnt wanna tag too many ppl. and some of the ppl i considered already did it thanks btw <3
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look at my tags boy
#not fandom related#personal log stardate#just wanna vent a bit#i think I'm gonna crank up my q. i have like. 3 k posts in my drafts lol. so yeah#can't rly focus today. yesterday i cleaned up and tidied up so good. even wiped the floor. bc we had ppl over. i didn't clean my room tho#and that is still a fucking mess. now that the pressure of Having Someone Over is gone i have no drive to tidy up or clean anymore#i think it's gonna be a slow day. I'll watch bbc ghosts. i know i have saved posts abt the show somewhere but i don't remember#on which sideblog and how deep into the drafts i have to go. one sideblog has 8000 drafts#so i guess I'll just go into the bbc ghosts tag to reblog some stuff#today i tried club mate for the 1st time ever#my fellow students during my bachelor studies used to constantly drink that stuff and I've always wanted to know what it tastes like#anyway. at first it reminded me of carbonated apple juice. Apfelschorle. idk how it's called in english. it tastes ok-ish and#for me personally i can see it as a social drink i can have when the ppl I'm w have carbonated alcoholic drinks and i don't feel lik3#*like nonalcoholic beer. anyway. gonna turn on bbc ghosts and have a mug of coffee#i hope you guys are doing alright. btw happy threshold day if you celebrate! i haven't watched voyager yet but i will one day
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JOEL SMALLISHBEANS WEEK AKA OPERATION: SEVEN HOLY NIGHTS OF JEREMY
soo i have gotten the idea for a Joel Smallishbeans week to help spread the propaga-have fun!
it will be the second week of October (date is subject to change) and it's a regular old seven day fan event. anyone can particpate!!
We'll have prompts for each of the days and maybe some other cool stuff as well :)!!
this is an interest check, as although i have gotten quite a bit of it (ty for that btw!!), i wanna know if this is smth many ppl would wanna do :)
Please reblog and share as idk many ppl lol and we need word to be spread of it if we should actually try and make this a proper thing :)
there will be a similar poll in circulation from @daily-smallishbeans
any prompt ideas for the seven days will be helpful, and ty to anyone who already sent in suggestions^^ !!!! Ofc if there's any questions feel free to ask me!! (and go check out daily smallishbeans too!!!)
We are not a cult
(tagging ppl that have already expressed interest in case u guys wanna see this too!)
@ralburry @marsmarbles @hanselsbike @hannnsh @mellozheist @marsmarbles @pancho-pinto @insomnya777 @daily-smallishbeans @kanda-franca @uninad4 @aurnadri @l-just-want-to-see @ulis-here @carbo2006 @tamblerdraws @hydeomonster @whereonhermitcraftisjoel @icyhotheartwritings @sharpilu @falconearring @kyuyua @liekadae @spoonmoment119 @cygnus-rex @witiraisaqueen @icyhotheartwritings
#joel smallishbeans#smallishbeans#hermitcraft#trafficblr#hermitblr#life series#life smp#empires smp#7 holy nights of jeremy
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tag nine people you want to get to know better!
ty for the tag @myokk and @theladyofshalott1989 !!💖💖
LAST SONG? - i deadass don't know💀i don't really listen to music i just always have streams/youtube vids on (I KNOW IM SORRY DONT @ ME) ....does the baroque noble party ambience i was listening to while working on my oneshot count??? shoutout to that video btw
FAVORITE COLOR? - yellow!!💛⭐
CURRENTLY WATCHING? - i also don't really watch shows💀....do 6 hour video essays on youtube count? in which case i love action button if you haven't watched his stuff (his boku no natsuyasumi video and his tokimeki memorial video are amazing, and his pacman video), and also super eyepatch wolf & hbomberguy (especially hbomb's 'pathologic is genius' video). also i listen to a podcast called '372 pages we'll never get back' that i highly recommend
LAST MOVIE? - 💀💀💀this is just a meme at this point💀💀💀I DONT EVEN REMEMBER....me and my roommate love watching crappy adam sandler movies so probably one of those??? or my neighbor totoro since i forced my niece to watch it 😍
SWEET/SPICY/SAVORY? - SAVORY BABY I LOVE SALT IM A SALT FIEND!!!🧂🧂🧂i put my grubby little hands straight into the olive jar and FEAST...also when i was in uni i used to keep a little ziploc bag of salt on me for when i ate out LMFAOOO and i always steal the salt shaker and bring it to my room and my roommate is always like DO YOU HAVE THE SALT AGAIN???......what can i say i love salt........(tho i still love sweets and spicy foods as well. and im addicted to coke zero btw. my body is comprised of 50% salt and 50% coke zero)
RELATIONSHIP STATUS? - almost 2 years in my poly relationship with seb and clora😍😍
CURRENT OBSESSIONS? - girl do u even have to ask........
LAST THING YOU GOOGLED? - probably timezones for when im talking to mutuals LMAOO...i just like to know what hour it is there no pressure tags: @the-ozzie @sparxyv @ccelicaa @kaviary-blog @siboom777 @boxdstars @versailles-black @limonnitsa @dwightschrute11 @ethniee @celestinawarlock @moonstruckmoony @syaolaurant @bassicallymaestra @lilac-ravenclaw @vienguinn @noelles-legacy @4ever2000lover @lamieboo @magic-in-onyx (NO PRESSURE FR FR I HATE TAGGING PPL BC I FEEL LIKE IM BOTHERING YALL BUT I ALSO DONT WANT TO LEAVE PPL OUT AT THE SAME TIME...SO IF YOURE READING THIS U CAN CONSIDER YOURSELF TAGGED AS WELL🧎♀️🧎♀️OR CONSIDER YOURSELF UN-TAGGED IF YOU DONT WANNA DO IT BAHAHA)
#omg i yapped so much#ive also been watching Any Austin i love his videos especially his skyrim ones where he goes around critiquing skyrim taverns LMAO#him acting like some government bureaucrat in these fantasy worlds is just amazing#but i cannot recommend action button enough. tim rogers is a gift to this world PLEASE go watch his videos if you have the time LOL#also god i cannot stress enough how stressed i am in regards to tagging people BAHAHA#sorry for bothering you but ALSO im sorry that i DIDNT bother you#im like that keanu meme#sorry to hear that. OR happy that happened#ask#this isn’t an ask but i’m tagging it as one anyway bc it’s about me LOL i make the rules here
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:3 @clowtism @solo-piper @mossukoma @gh0stfri3nd @spookylolbit /nf
New tag game
Insert a photo that you already have in your gallery that best describes you. saw this in the "tag game" tag
ntps: @red-in-revenge @toasterfroggy @allnewtpir @mike-queerler @foodiewithdahoodie @aidyaiden @newaronantics @unrepentant-byler-shipper @kirjavafan @rebelrobinrules1984 @sunflowerswren @notmybabies @emily-mooon @starmanbyler @microwaveonwheels @weirdo09 @iliataslost @charliethe3gg
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