#sorry for bothering you but ALSO im sorry that i DIDNT bother you
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tag nine people you want to get to know better!
ty for the tag @myokk and @theladyofshalott1989 !!💖💖
LAST SONG? - i deadass don't know💀i don't really listen to music i just always have streams/youtube vids on (I KNOW IM SORRY DONT @ ME) ....does the baroque noble party ambience i was listening to while working on my oneshot count??? shoutout to that video btw
FAVORITE COLOR? - yellow!!💛⭐
CURRENTLY WATCHING? - i also don't really watch shows💀....do 6 hour video essays on youtube count? in which case i love action button if you haven't watched his stuff (his boku no natsuyasumi video and his tokimeki memorial video are amazing, and his pacman video), and also super eyepatch wolf & hbomberguy (especially hbomb's 'pathologic is genius' video). also i listen to a podcast called '372 pages we'll never get back' that i highly recommend
LAST MOVIE? - 💀💀💀this is just a meme at this point💀💀💀I DONT EVEN REMEMBER....me and my roommate love watching crappy adam sandler movies so probably one of those??? or my neighbor totoro since i forced my niece to watch it 😍
SWEET/SPICY/SAVORY? - SAVORY BABY I LOVE SALT IM A SALT FIEND!!!🧂🧂🧂i put my grubby little hands straight into the olive jar and FEAST...also when i was in uni i used to keep a little ziploc bag of salt on me for when i ate out LMFAOOO and i always steal the salt shaker and bring it to my room and my roommate is always like DO YOU HAVE THE SALT AGAIN???......what can i say i love salt........(tho i still love sweets and spicy foods as well. and im addicted to coke zero btw. my body is comprised of 50% salt and 50% coke zero)
RELATIONSHIP STATUS? - almost 2 years in my poly relationship with seb and clora😍😍
CURRENT OBSESSIONS? - girl do u even have to ask........
LAST THING YOU GOOGLED? - probably timezones for when im talking to mutuals LMAOO...i just like to know what hour it is there no pressure tags: @the-ozzie @sparxyv @ccelicaa @kaviary-blog @siboom777 @boxdstars @versailles-black @limonnitsa @dwightschrute11 @ethniee @celestinawarlock @moonstruckmoony @syaolaurant @bassicallymaestra @lilac-ravenclaw @vienguinn @noelles-legacy @4ever2000lover @lamieboo @magic-in-onyx (NO PRESSURE FR FR I HATE TAGGING PPL BC I FEEL LIKE IM BOTHERING YALL BUT I ALSO DONT WANT TO LEAVE PPL OUT AT THE SAME TIME...SO IF YOURE READING THIS U CAN CONSIDER YOURSELF TAGGED AS WELL🧎♀️🧎♀️OR CONSIDER YOURSELF UN-TAGGED IF YOU DONT WANNA DO IT BAHAHA)
#omg i yapped so much#ive also been watching Any Austin i love his videos especially his skyrim ones where he goes around critiquing skyrim taverns LMAO#him acting like some government bureaucrat in these fantasy worlds is just amazing#but i cannot recommend action button enough. tim rogers is a gift to this world PLEASE go watch his videos if you have the time LOL#also god i cannot stress enough how stressed i am in regards to tagging people BAHAHA#sorry for bothering you but ALSO im sorry that i DIDNT bother you#im like that keanu meme#sorry to hear that. OR happy that happened#ask#this isn’t an ask but i’m tagging it as one anyway bc it’s about me LOL i make the rules here
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day 86
do any of yall ever have like. an Evil infodump? where instead of endlessly word vomiting about a thing you love and are very informed about, there is a thing you are equally well-informed about but hate with a passion that you cannot hold back in conversation?
i do :')
(I'll put it under the cut for the curious because I think it's important and i cannot be stopped but also i'm not kidding the facts are infuriating)
SO. "Homeopathic" is often interpreted as sort of a vague synonym for "natural," or "organic," but it's actually related to a system of alternative medicine that means something Very Specific.
There are two main principles behind the practice of Homeopathy.
"Like cures like." This is the idea that, for example, if you have a headache, taking a veeeery small amount of a substance that is known to CAUSE headaches will cure that symptom. I understand where people fall into this flawed idea, as it sounds very similar to the principles behind, say, vaccines, or antivenom. But it isn't universally applicable in this way. An herb isn't a virus. But even if it was, a Homeopathic preparation of that herb would not have any effect on the body because of the second principle.
"Water has memory." This is the idea that water is able to "remember" any substance that it has had contact with. This is also not true. Molecules don't really have any way to store information like that, and even if they did, well... What would that information do inside our bodies? Would our cells have any way to interpret and process that information? What would they do with it? It's all rather nebulous and it seems like more of a spiritual claim than a scientific one. Which is fine, but is not medicine.
So, with these principles in mind, the process of creating a "Homeopathic Preparation of [insert substance here]" goes a little something like this: You take a dropper and put one drop of your active substance in a container with a hundred drops of water. You then take a drop of that mixture, and put it in another container with another hundred drops of water. You continue this dilution process until there is, quite literally, a near-zero percent chance that your mixture contains even a single molecule of your original active substance (depending on the level of dilution believed to be best for the substance in question. Typically, a higher dilution is considered more potent.) So it is, by this point, literally just a vial of water.
This vial of water is what is then sold as a "Homeopathic preparation of [substance]." OR that water is used to compound a batch of sugar pills, or gel capsules, or tablets, whatever format is being offered. Regardless, the composition of the tincture is literally just water and ~*vibes*~.
And they sell these vials of expensive vibe water! At!!!
THE PHARMACY!!! WITH LIKE THE IBUPROFEN AND ALL THE OTHER REAL MEDICINES!!! AND NO BIG WARNING LABELS THAT SAY, "THIS CONTAINS NO ACTIVE INGREDIENTS AND IS BASED ON VIBES ALONE," OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT!!
In fact! In the US they are able to advertise that they have been FDA approved! (FDA approval of dietary supplements is not the same as FDA approval of actual medications. In the context of supplements, approval just means they've proved it won't just kill you straight up, and thus you're allowed to sell it.) And, well. It certainly won't kill you! In fact they often also advertise things like, "It's natural!" and "No harmful side effects!" and "No risk of overdose!" and it's all technically true! BECAUSE IT'S JUST WATER! LIKE I CAN'T STRESS ENOUGH HOW IT'S LITERALLY JUST WATER!!!
Anyway. Please keep this in mind the next time you are offered a homeopathic remedy, or see one advertised in the store, or hear your antivaxxer auntie bragging about the fact that her kids all got a "homeopathic" alternative to their MMR shots.
IT'S! JUST! VIBE WATER!!!!
#day 86#year 5#it me#truly very few things get me more heated than this specific concept. i dont know what it is... just.... WOOF.#anyway i didnt bother checking beforehand if there's a homeopathy side of tumblr but i must assume there is. so.#if this showed up in your search results and you would like to argue with me about this. im sorry but you are not my intended audience.#i didnt mean to show up to your party and simply shit on everything.#but also if you spread medical misinformation on my post or get rowdy in my inbox im gonna block ya.
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okay here's my main group of ocs stands :]
voulez-vous and förutan vind got some small design updates :) they look much better now i think ^_^ and yes calamari's stand has two acts because i thought it would be fun
#mainly i removed a bunch of junk from förutan vind like extra ropes on the joints that bothered me#also it had little anchors on its arms but i didnt like them#andddd voulez-vous colouring was kind of boring before and i didnt really like it#but this new one is so much more fun AND IT GLOWS#sunnanvind pretty girl youre perfect as you are <3 i just reused old art of her teehee#WELL ACTUALLY to be fair. i added the little mouth thingies that the sharks have lol#jjba oc#jjba stand oc#fan stand#how do i even tag stand ocs . whatever#förutan vind#voulez-vous#<- sorry abba fans im making it annoying#sunnanvind#waterfalls#corps.oc#corps.art#I FORGOT I HAD THIS IN MY DRAFTS AND I NEVER POSTED IT. ANYWAY HERES STANDS#all of these are on my artfight too with some extra crumbs of info!
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Mina costume redesign!! Hate her original costume so so much like actually what the fuck was horikoshi thinking
#i just hate the original#so much#actually what is horikoshi smoking to give some kids the coolest fucking costume#and others something that looks dug out of the discount bin at the halloween store#mina got done so dirty with the swimsuit leotard fuckery#and her colour scheme was so ugly too#i tried to desaturate most of it#and im sorry the beige had to go#ik i gave her more skin than momo#but minas a gymnast#she would fight tooth and nail for the mobility#plus she also needs her skin like. a lot#this applies to bakugo too#like. you need to be able to use the sweat#why are you burying it#also i kept alien queen because its a BANGING hero name midnight was dead wrong im sorry#didnt do a back view for this one because im gonna be honest i got lazy#its a lot of work#and i cant be bothered at this hour#yeah!!#mina ashido#ashido mina#mha#bnha#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#chiquilines draws
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Would you be willing to explain why you don't like insurgence and xenoberse? I also keep seeing them recommended, but I'm currently playing uranium.
insurgence seems to be an over the top edgy game that's just super not in my wheelhouse
xenoverse because i did play through that one and its just. so goddamn lackluster. the plot and gameplay was constantly pissing me off 😭 though i think my main issue was that i was pretty excited going into the game because i watched as several people overhyped it, calling the story fantastic and the best thing ever and then i played it and it was just... not.
it was ALRIGHT. i guess. but eurgh. my biggest issue is the other playable character (that you don't choose) only showing up like a handful of times (i think literally can be counted on one goddamn hand) and is heavily shoving a romance in your face from the moment you meet them. which whatever, ok, sure. except. if you choose to play as a girl, the boy option, LOOKS VERY MUCH LIKE YOUR DAD. and it just made the whole thing SUPER uncomfortable to me to the point i had to restart the whole game over to choose to be a boy instead because at least the girl doesn't look like either parent even though i still very much hated the whole forced romance crush thing. but hey. at least it didn't feel like i was being flirted on by a younger version of your dad 😭
also the gameplay itself was just. really felt like it was all glitter and hype and then felt like ass trying to actually play and make sense of from a plot perspective
and then my next gripe is your dad and this one is end of game spoiler territory
the game is focused on finding your dad who got kidnapped at the beginning of the game (10 years ago) except oops! nope! he's the leader of the villain gang! also he's SILVER FROM THE CANON SERIES (with your mom being leaf!)
and him being the leader of the big bads just. GOES AGAINST HIS WHOLE CHARACTER?? hello. hello. hello. i still had the whole elite 4 or whatever post game there was but finding out it was silver just. made me stop playing it pissed me off soooooo much
#mp answers#any xenoverse fans out there sorry ig im just a hater#wait also another thing the bothered me was the talking portraits and you as a character would get one but since you. you know.#dont talk it just felt very. pointless and immersion breaking#thank you for showing my character just going ... in flavor i guess.#ok that sounds petty#and it absolutely is#just. sigh.#xenoverse just rubbed me wrong in every way possible#only good thing about the game were those A and B admin guys#they were funny#anyway im shutting up now before i recall another reason why i didnt like the game
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the headcanon that regis can hang from the ceiling to sleep or rest like a bat is funny on its own, but when i consider geralt and others in the hanza holding conversations with him like this, it’s made better by my understanding of this as just an advanced “neurodivergent sitting” technique
#in an irl au i suppose he could be doing an upside down yoga pose. that would fit irl au regis well. ugh#the better headcanon is angoulême walking in their room. going ‘[head nod up] cahir. where—‘#and cahir (not looking up) points to the ceiling on the other side of the room. also in total darkness btw no candles lit on that side#i imagine that when someone else walks to their room’s door and knocks. for example let’s say dandelion for instance#dandelion’s hardly a stranger but he did that thing where your friend stops hanging out with you because they’re busy with their gf#he knocks and immediately regis is suddenly sitting in bed like a normal person . and he put his eyeglasses on and pretended to read#oh hi dandelion i didnt recognize your footsteps#my… footsteps?#this is actually kind of bullshit though because the only person more talkative than dandelion at night is regis (angouleme close third)#so if dandelion ever wanted to discuss meaning of life at 2 am i know where he would go#sorry cahir. put a pillow over your ear#the elbow-high diaries#edit: no actually he would bother geralt with this#edit edit: no actually he and geralt were ‘on a break’ (unresolved tension) so he wouldn’t. but he would want to#angoulême goes to their room too often to chill and hang out#milva goes to their room and cahir and regis stand at attention like yes ma’am. what do you need#hi milva how are things (your ongoing mental health crisis)#if geralt walks in starts talking with regis. cahir leaves the room. ‘im going to um. check on the horses’#its 12 am. horses are sleeping. ? answer; he is being a considerate roommate. he had to share bunks before. he knows how It Is
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nobody's doing it like itsuki yyh. i've been thinking about him and sensui a lot today but like. ok get this. imagine being a demon and this cute human guy (you are gay btw green hair and pronounsed and everything) shows up and tries to kill you and almost succeeds. you survive because you lament that you're gonna miss the finale of a show you watch/see a niche pop artist on tv (depending on adaptation, but either way these are your last words and it airs the next night), and he says he's into it too. you become partners. this man, shinobu sensui, is a spirit detective who's been haunted by demons his whole life, has been killing them with the complete, unwavering belief that he's right for it, since he was in pre-k. you being a demon does not seem to change how he thinks about this. it doesn't change your feelings either, since he fascinates you. you help him kill demons.
one day, your human is confronted with one of the worst sights imaginable, one that shatters his worldview completely. he sees demons being tortured and slaughtered hedonistically by a group of humans. he can't process it. he splits. your shinobu is now one of seven within his body. you love each of them. you love him. you watch as he pivots into a deep hatred of humanity, and of himself for slaughtering so many demons, and of his own inescapable humanity. you love it. you can't get enough of it. watching someone so pure and self-assured become confused, disillusioned, twisted, evil, broken, it thrills and captivates you. it's beautiful, and you egg it on. you make it worse, obsessively. you make him worse. you only want what he wants, really. but you want him to want it worse. sensui is spiraling and you don't steady him, you accelerate it and accelerate it, until he's deciding that before he dies (which will be sooner than you'd like, sooner than you know what to do with), he's going to end humanity. he's going to unleash demonkind on them and secure his redemption, his doom, his punishment. it's a baptism by fire. what a way to go. a very sensui way to go, and you love it like the rest of him: poisonously. you don't need a word of convincing, no argument (as desperate as sensui is to argue his case for this), not a second of that tape, to follow him. you watch as sensui breaks the fragile people he encounters, wrenches them into misanthropic weapons. he's amazing at it. minoru is amazing at it. he brings together his crew of heart-bleeding, self-loathing pawns, and in your downtime you and sensui watch human tv, share your love for animals, plants, the human world. you cherish, distract yourself with, and celebrate these together. they're what brought you together in the first place, and you will destroy them together. you wonder if he knows that these things he loves will surely die when the demons come. you expect he views them as necessary casualties in ridding the world of human evil. how deliciously cruel he can be. you savor it. you have to savor it. you don't like thinking about the end. that sensui will barely be alive to enjoy his victory. is he so convinced of humanity's foulness that he would never bend, never doubt his genocide at all? or would he come to regret it? would he hate himself even more than he does now? once the greater evil, humanity, is eliminated, would he turn his sights on himself? he may see himself as one of the "enlightened" humans who know mankind's evil, but he is still a human with plenty of demon blood on his hands. you want to know. you're desperate for it. you don't ask him what he thinks he will become. you want to watch it unfold naturally, for as long as he is around. let the ink bleed over the page. don't blow. don't wave the paper, don't even touch it. be patient.
your sensui is killed spectacularly at the finish line. he was struck down by a human reborn as a demon. how fitting. it's what sensui wanted, and you are happy for him, as much as you can be. it's bittersweet. you knew it would end soon. you both did. you talked about it all the time. and now it's... over. the portal is being resealed. demons will not wipe out mankind. humanity will go on, unaffected. your sensui's lonely war against his own kind is already being forgotten by the few who knew of it. such a beautiful moment, swept away by time, your sensui. and now his enemies want to claim his soul. his body. to bring him to the afterlife, for whatever judgement awaits him. and you fulfill your final obligation to him. you take him away. sensui did not want any part of that, and neither do you, not particularly. it sounds rather painful, all considered. you lift him and slip away to where no one can reach you. your own little dimension, your own little pocket of existence, just the two of you. no one can touch him now. you, either, not that you care. you hold him like you have for years, and think of your future together. here, where no one can reach him. no one will touch him or stain him or rip him or tear him ever again, not even you. but you will always be closest, and that's enough. cut off from humankind and demonkind completely. it's only you. and it's only him. you wonder how long you will live, like this. a long time. it makes no difference. sensui has broken completely, and you hold the shards of him. every piece remaining is yours, is in your arms, will be yours forever. you wonder if this should be enough for you. if you should be satisfied. you are. as someone whose last regret was missing a late night program, you don't see much point in leaving. what is there for itsuki without sensui? what is there in the world worthwhile? demons, humans, the rest of it. none of it would ever compare. not even to the shards.
you wonder, and it is far from the first or the last time, how sensui will change now, in your arms. white to black, skin to bone to dust. and when you die your soul will dissipate like his, and in a little unreality you and he will linger forever, where no one can know or recall. you will die a secret of the world, a potential wasted, a close call, a scream that is swallowed last-minute. and you will be together. it's all that's mattered for a long time. you wonder if you'll ever change. you don't expect to.
#whatttt is going on with that guy am i right#also sorry if the use of he/him for sensui bothers y'all i wasn't sure if they/them would be more appropriate post-split#they use he/him in the series and that's generally how he's referred to so i went with that. i imagine it's a case-by-case basis anyhow#and it's not like sensui's the most accurate depiction of DID regardless. so im meeting the show where it's at for this#also sorry i am. anime only. so while there's at least one manga detail in there if some of this reads weird it's probably becuzza that#ANYWAY itsuki is not like to blame for sensui's misanthropic disaster spiral or anything but he's like. defo not helping. and i think that'#really interesting of him. yeah#get you a bf who wants to ruin you genuinely with little regard for you as a person bc they think it's hot.e yeehaw#yyh#yu yu hakusho#itsuki#shinobu sensui#anyway ppl should talk about them more i'm very normal about them i promise#can't wait to get to chapter black again bc i remember less of their dynamic than i'd like#also i didnt proofread this sorry orz
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5guys
comments on em under the cut <3
quincy:
-Jagged scars bc he did it himself with. a big knife.
-no sixpack. just bc.
-many pubes. other bodyhair is a bit less bc he isnt on T (<- excuse bc i couldnt make it look good /hj)
eiden:
-pretty neat scars. got them done fairly early in his life.
-left his abs bc he really tries to keep em. dont particularly like it but :/ i feel like its part of him idk
-was on T a few years before getting isekai'd, aster helped him find a replacement.
dante:
-NEAT surgery scars. got them done, after his parents died, by top-level surgeons (+ didnt have big boobs to begin with)
-nips+snakebites+eyebrows pierced. hes a royal man he deserves it.
-left his pack bc i think he uses it as a coping mechanism....
-has been on proxy-T since a few months before his parents died.
rei:
-tiny boobs tiny scars. did them himself aswell.
-navel pierced bc hes a slut so ofc.
-no abs. this man does nothing to keep himself in shape.
-not on T but has found some remedy that has permanently lowerd his voice
-main reason for transition was so he could be in hiding better, he really doesnt care for much else.
balde:
-no nips.
-main control panel is in his abdomen bc its easily defendable. distinct connection of panels at the lines where they open bc i didnt want him to have abs and this works <3 + i couldnt figure out a reason behind topsurgery scars other than that <3
-no pubes bc hes a ken doll down there (i forgor)
#excuse the shitty quality i work with screenshots =w=bb sorry.#i also wanted to do aster and yakumo and karu/garu but i dont have good enough cards of em :/#PLUS any aster cards (except his ssr i dont have that one =3=p) mysteriousely hide his underboobs. SO. he already has top-surgery scars <3#augh yakumos or garu's cards just didnt work unfortunately Y-Y#“oh but why not olivine or morvay?” DO YOU THINK THEY WOULD GET TOPSURGERY? olivine genuinely makes me feel better about my own boobs.#and i just dont really like kuya <3 + i think he wouldnt need topsurgery bc that man has no tits.#anyway <33#blade is so pretty in his ssr im so glad i wasted 130 vouchers on eiden and got blade as my pity <3 (and eiden after all mentioned vouchers#my wife <333#augh this was fun =w=bb#trans people!!!!!!#please dismiss any bodyhair the guys may miss i couldnt be bothered <3#my work#nu carnival#YIPPEEE
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alright!!!! kitchen CLEANED ‼️ carry on PACKED ‼️ now i just need to do my homework and then maybe take a really really really quick (4 hour long) nap before dinner/online class. then i will grind on the silly silly why did i decide to do this animation meme/animatic until 3 am hits and i've gotta hit the port. the AIRport :3
in exchange for my incredible unprecedented productiveness i made this little doodle just now. i'm actually a liar i did this in school but still
#honestly killer could be doing fuck knows and i wouldn't even know. still love him though#at this point???? at this point i dont even keep up with his characterization i will not lie#horror and dust are my favorite children im sorry killer. you'll get your time to shine when the seasons change#which is probably soon idk man whatever i love them all ewually :333#anyways killer's just not sleeping in that one. bro's had the longest streak of no sleep he aint breaking it now#erm ACTUALLY he's looking at the viewer and therefore breaking the fourth wall and thats soooooo cool#triglycercule what are you on#why are they all sleeping in the same bed#well obviously because they didn't wanna deal with multiple#but also they cannot be bothered to cuddle close together#dust kicks too much. horror steals too much space. killer sometimes just sits up for several periods of time#worlds craziest sleep#killer actually could be sleeping in that one but i just dont know#but triglycercule didnt you draw this and therefore should know what he's doing?????#idk man killer's an enigma i cant control him 💀💀💀 he does his own shit whatever#i lov making killer so crazily abnormal its so silly#who cares about canon (i do) ok well still im having FUN doodling#shut up and get back to rereading askdusttale and horrortale and something new#alright........ (pitifully limps away)#i tag some things rants when its actually art but i just dont want my art tsg 2 be littered with doodles#maybe thats bad. maybe i should start tagging properly#ok rant tag removed........ iGUESS this is art#euaghhhhhh but its just a DOODLS!!!! IT DOESNT DESERVE TO BE CONSIDERED GOOD ART WORTHY OF THE TAG#but triglycercule art is art no matter if doodle or not. stop belittling yourself for naught!#i hate when i get inspirational and supportive on myself man can i just suffer without some knowitall up my ass#i sound insane rn what am i doing. the bit is not funny#and i changed my mind this is a rant again not art#tricule rant#see it WOULD be both if i wanted to do dual tags. but i dont
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No but actually coming from someone with fine wavy/curly hair who had some hair loss and lots of issue I really and truly wish I could sit down and talk with Chan because he really needs someone who understands curly hair to get him some products and show him what to do and he also needs to stop using heat. Like no straightening. No hair drying. Or at least very sparsely.
#like i think the reason it makes me so Eye twitch is bc I've been in a very similar spot#i get it. i loved straightening my hair loved colouring it too#but i didnt colour or straighten it for a good long while and it did help#didnt cure me! but it did help.#and my hair got back to the spot where i could colour it again without as much issue#and mind you i do sometimes curl my hair or blow dry it for special occasions like im not a be all end all never do anything to it again#person. honestly thats why so many methods and stuff always put me off bc they were so dramatically like NEVER DO A SINGLE FUN THING AGAIN#but with him it'd be interesting to see 6 months with no colouring (including black! black is better than bleach but it still damages!)#and especially no straightening/blow drying etc.#i think that would really help determine if those are the things causing trouble or if its something else#bc hormones and stuff can also do it#like at the end of the day i think hes lovely but its p clear his hair is something that bothers him and idk#i would like to see him get to the point where it isnt as much of an issue#also still ascertain he'd look good with it short but thats just me#anyway Woah long tangent Sorry#its all said with love#also he doesnt have super tight curls like my dad had Tight curls#but his are def more soft/loose so thats a factor too
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texting people is so scary i just want a haircut
#im like aha would this day work for you? if not you can just stone me in the public square whatever works#oh youre booked that day? yeah no im sorry i even asked i shouldnt known really would you like me to flail myself in front of you ill do it#im like if a guy was scared. and didnt like bothering people#but also the hair situation is dire. its touching my shoulders i can’t survive in these conditions
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noooo you can let me describe the doctors body trust me i totally wont be weird about it this time
#me explaining why the doctor is hot: well theyre old enough to be my messiah so jot that down#also a body thats died many times#me opening the powerpoint: so before we begin hands up how many of you have spent more time than you should thinking abt jesus' body#church was like and this is body of christ and me being 7 and autistic took that in every way they DIDNT mean#anyway sorry yaz not sure what exactly the sin is here but im pretty sure uhhh it is one#its usually the master doing this#but yaz is taking the masters place in this fic so#that tracks i guess#gonna have to figure out how to take the pronouns out of this too#also look at the third person/second person flipflopping#i do that kind of a lot but i realised in this paragraph maybe thats because..........there isnt a third person imperative uhh mode?#is that a mode we call that idk#there ISNT a third person imperative right? thats just second person?#i think so#but its interesting bc thats like the main way my narration flipflops#idk if thats like bad. bad writer habit or whatever#if it is i dont really care#it doesnt bother ME so#idk if it bothers anyone else#one time i had a fun paragraph in the doctors pov where it went from its standard 3rd to 2nd to 1st. 1st plural i think#and then Back to 3rd distance yourself from yourself dont get too close#anyway
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i am my father's son (enjoyer of irl sidequests)
#i didn't get to do the sidequest i almost got though 😔#i exited my apartment. theres a guy outside and i greet him bc i assumed he was a neighbour#and he greets me back and then hes like im sorry i hopped over the fence as a shortcut idk if that's fine#nd then continued and said he'll check if he dropped something#and i'm like yea ok sure!#bc i was going to lidl and i wanted to get going but i did just stand there for a bit in case the guy needed help or something#then he emerged from the fence area and he was like ''if you find something in there can you pick it up akd put out a note'' and i was like#yea ofc! i'll do that if i see anything#and then he was like this is a very nice area so i trust people will let me know if i did drop something#and i was like for sure#im not great at smalltalk but he was very polite so i tried my best#also he seemed like he wasnt having the best time#he might have been on something bc he was slurring his speech and drooling a lot and there was a certain look in his eyes but honestly that#none of my business#we said bye and i sat in my car and then he was like ''hey actually i live like a minute away super close but my bag is super heavy#can i get a ride there it's super close next to [redacted]''#and i moved my bag from the front seat and was like ''yea sure''#and then he stared at me for a bit and was like ''actually i dont want to bother you have a nice day bye'' and left with a wave#i was like you too and waved back#he didnt look like he had any trouble walking so i came to the conclusion that he's fine and then went to lidl#but honestly i am a bit disappointed he didnt want me to give him a ride after all bc he seemed like he would have interesting things to sa#he was super polite and talked a lot and despite me being a finn i dont always mind strangers talking to me#bc if i have nothing important to do it's like. might as well!#another chat outside my apartment ive had was this old lady and she knew a lot about the history of the area we live in#and it was very interesting and also like i said if im in no hurry to go anywhere i love listening to ppl yap about whatever#i hope both the fence hopping guy and the old lady are doing good#leevi talks
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constantly holding back sad & pathetic things about me bc i dont want to bring down the mood
#i think people think its a lot worse than it actually is#for example if i tell people about my experience with schools#being punished for not speaking/not making eyecontact#going to a school that got shut down bc it was a very unsafe place for a bit#lots of bullies#it all sounds very bad#but really i didnt mind most of it#of all the bullying only one period of bullying actually bothered me#the rest i did not care#and i never have#mostly i am just left with a lot of memories i cant really tell people about without getting some variation of#'im so sorry that happened to you' or 'are you okay?'#im totally fine ive just had a lot of objectively awful things happen to me#but i didnt really mind most of these things#im not annoyed at peoples reactions really#im just annoyed that so many of my memories get a reaction like that?#the way i think about it i havent really lived such a bad life#but i know that a lot of this stuff couldve affected me very badly#it just didnt#like yeah there were knives around on my old playground#& i watched my friends get injured often at that school#but also it was fine#yeah a dude repeatedly pissed on my favourite scarf until i stopped wearing it#that was just a little annoying though#idk maybe i should be more affected#but im not#which is quite nice :)#mine
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sometimes i think maybe it's a good thing i'm so traumatized and fucked up mentally and emotionally bc then i never expect ppl to be kind or even just plain old nice to me, so when they ARE kind or nice i feel overwhelming gratitude and almost a sense of awe HFDSJKL like... i dont know if i would have had this appreciation for each little piece of kindness if i wasn't the way that i am. but also i know thats kind of an absolutely wild way of thinking about this LMAO
#but then on the other side of things i still get really hurt when ppl are cruel or just the usual flavour of mean#like i had a mother with a stroller get huffy and aggressive w me yesterday as i was getting off the bus and that rly stuck w me#idk what else i could've done in that situation except control my tone a little better maybe but i was really anxious#because her stroller was in the way of the aisle and i was trying to figure out the fastest way to navigate around it to exit#bc the bus drivers are always in a hurry so i didnt want to keep anybody waiting while i got around her stroller#so i just said ''sorry i just need to get by'' and i think my tone was not Perfectly Pleasant bc i was really anxious and unsure#but i meant it as a ''sorry if i touch ur stroller as i squeeze past'' dsjfkl i didnt mean it like ''u need to move ur shit for me''#alas. i think she took it as the latter. also im pretty sure she was on edge already bc she knew her stroller would be in the way#anyways i said that and she did the thing where ppl throw up their hands in a really quick defensive/aggressive half-shrug gesture#where they're gesturing like ''what the fuck !!! what are you doing !!!'' idk how common that gesture is dsjkl i see it a lot around town#and i just quickly squeezed past her stroller and tried not to touch it as little as i could and then said thank you and scuttled away#BUT IT REALLY BOTHERED ME THAT SHE GOT SO HUFFY ABOUT IT. i've been trying to figure out what i could've done differently#unfortunately i think its just one of those things where we were BOTH anxious or on edge so she was just assuming i was being aggressive#bc she probably expected ppl to be rude about her stroller so... when u expect that it'll colour ur perceptions of ppls behaviours#so i am not even upset w her at all fsdjkl i simply wish it had gone better. alas!! what a silly little encounter to be ruminating over#ANYHOWDY... I am glad that i can have such appreciation for kindness when it happens fdsjkdl#like i had a little snippet of small talk about bananas with a stranger in the grocery store last year and i still think about it happily#bc idk. it means so much to me. making little connections w ppl! its very very important to me bc i dont get it very often!#and theres some kind things ppl have said to me online that have stuck with me or will stick with me for honest-to-god years fdsjkl#and perhaps i am a sap but ... I'm just glad i can hold these small bits of goodness so close to my heart bc it makes life a little nicer#pippen needs 2nd breakfast
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red vs blue restoration blew such huge chunks im actually mad. like completely enraged. and i wouldnt have it any other way. rest in peace you son of a bitch
#like under the conditions it was made. i can understand why it is the way it is.#but i would genuinely be hard pressed to imagine a way it couldve been worse.#they brought tex back. which is like the number one thing they should have never done under any circumstance. leave the poor woman ALONEEEE#wash had absolutely nothing to do except act like an idiot for no reason and Be Crazy. leave him alone too#carolina showed up just to immediately get her shit kicked in. she doesnt even say a single word to tex so what was the point#and i fucking love tucker so im biased but WHAT!!!!! HOW DO YOU DECIDE TO DO META TUCKER AND FUMBLE HIM THAT HARD!!!!#tucker doesnt get a single line reflecting on Literally Being Tortured for (from his perspective) TEN YEARS????#not a single genuine emotional moment for him???? just gets up and says ''oww that sucked. bow chicka bow wow haha am i right fellas''#the blues got shafted so fucking hard. they barely interact with each other. they get no resolution at all.#wash and tucker didnt even talk. i dont think they were ever even in the same frame. if you wanted me to kill myself you couldve just said#also i havent watched s15-17 since they released and i didnt bother with rvb0 but when did doc die. huh#carolina said something about ''what happened on chorus'' and HUH? did i just miss that completely. what the fuck#also where is donut. he wasnt even in this. im assuming something happened to him that i just dont remember during/after s18 but i miss him#sorry for being so mean lmfao i dont usually like complaining so much but man...........#they didnt even make grimmons canon. smh my head#anyway rvb ended after s13 ❤️ yayyy
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