#btw i did this hours ago but i had no signal

[aerynwrites]

Mixed Signals

Solas x reader/inquisitor

A/N: the Poll has spoken! y'all chose option 2 (I love that btw) so you shall receive. Some backstory - for whatever reason and despite having all the approval requirements and everything, my game bugged and I did NOT get the solas balcony romance scene and I'm MAD!!! idk what the scene was even supposed to be other than a kiss but yeah. here's this lol. this is also my first ever DAI pic so I apologize if things seem OOC. Hope you all enjoy!

Word Count: 1.4k

Warnings: Hurt/comfort, very slight angst, fluff, kisses, petting? lost of kissing.

 “I’ve disturbed you enough for the evening.”

Solas’ parting words ring in your head endlessly since he left your chambers yesterday. They had stunned you, making your brows furrow as his demeanor seemed to change. You were sure, so sure he was going to take a step forward in your relationship. Even though you’d both agreed to take the risk, the tension had never waned, as if one wrong move would destroy the fragile relationship you’ve built. 

When he left…you thought it had finally shattered. That not acting on the energy crackling in the air, Solas was - effectively - giving you a final verdict. 

That was until today, when you went to visit him, after hours spent in the war room. Cassandra wanted you to speak with him about his knowledge on the elven artifacts you’ve been finding throughout the region. 

You walked in, finding him sitting in his chair, thumbing through a worn leather book. 

“Solas -”

“Yes, vhenan?” 

You nearly choke on air, hiding it behind a small cough. The term of endearment was not one used lightly, especially not by Solas. Your heart was thrumming in your chest, eyes wide as Solas finally looked up from the withered pages at your silence. 

He raises a brow at you, closing the book on his thumb to keep his place. “Did you need to speak with me?” he asks, again. 

Your mind runs at breakneck speed, yet you’re still unable to comprehend his words, still stuck on his initial greeting. 

Vhenan…

Solas stands then, setting his book down before taking a few steps to stand before you, settling a gentle hand on your arm. 

“Vhenan…are you alright?” he asks, voice soft, concern glittering in his gaze.

Finally your eyes connect with his own, and it feels as if the breath is stolen from you once more. That memory from the fade playing over and over in your mind. But you quickly shake it off, breaking his gaze and looking at the wall over his shoulder. 

“Yes, I…” you trail off, voice small, unsure. “I seem to have forgotten what I came for. Forgive me.” 

You turn without another word, hurrying from his presence with a greater haste than when you arrived, leaving a baffled Solas in your wake. 

That had been hours ago, the sun having long set, yet sleep evades you as you lay in your too large bed in your too large chambers. You are more confused now than when he left you on your balcony just a day ago. He had a chance, a chance to speak with you about…well about whatever this was. You had expected as much when he asked to speak to you alone, in your chambers no less. Yet…he didn’t take it. And now, he’s calling you endearments you’d always dreamed of hearing from his lips, whispered against your skin…

With a frustrated huff you sit up in bed, tossing the covers aside. You are going to find answers, you have to talk to him. 

Quickly lighting a candle, you reach for the robe hanging on the post of your bed, pulling it over your shoulders before reaching for the candle once more. You make your way across the room, the chill of the stone floor sinking into the soles of your feet as you pad towards the door. 

Pulling the door open, you have to stop the shout that bubbles up in your chest as you’re met with the very person you were searching for. Solas stands on the threshold of your chambers, hand raised to knock, and the tips of his ears just the slightest tinge of red at having been caught. 

“Solas-” “I’m sorry to interrupt.”

You both speak at the same time before falling silent, waiting for the other to speak. 

“I was just-” “I need to speak with you”

By now your own cheeks are burning, as silence envelops you once more. 

“Well, this isn’t going to work.” you finally say, heart fluttering at the smile your words elicit from the elf in front of you.

“Conversation will not get far that way, no,” Solas concedes. 

You step aside, gesturing him in, a command he silently obeys. 

Neither of you speak for a moment, and you take the opportunity to light a few more candles around the room, noticing only briefly that Solas seems…nervous. 

“Vhenan-”

“Why do you call me that?” you interrupt, setting the last candle down on your bedside table. 

This question seems to perplex the man, his brows furrowing as confusion settles on his features. 

“Vhenan,” you repeat the term, “Why do you call me that?”

“Do you not like the term? I just assumed it was appropriate-”

“Why?” you interrupt again, all your confusion and inner turmoil and insecurities coming to the surface now that you're alone with him. “I didn’t think…I know you were hesitant about this relationship. I know you think it’s a risk. But you…you left, Solas.”

You can tell he wants to speak, but he stays silent, encouraging you to continue in his own peculiar way. 

“On the balcony,” you clarify. “I thought…you asked to speak with me and I thought-” you cut yourself off, clenching the fabric of your robe in your hands as you struggle to verbalize your thoughts without sounding like an idiot. 

“I thought there was more to  say, there was more you were going to say. About us. But then…you said that you respected me deeply but then you just left! As if you are some burden I wanted gone, or as if you aren’t worthy of my time, but I- I want this Solas. With you. I want you, and I thought you wanted me, and if you don’t that is fine. But you can’t keep sending these clashing signals-”

You don’t  even notice him approach, not until his lips meet your own, cool hands cradling your face as he pulls you deeper into the kiss. A kiss you eagerly return, hands dropping your robe to instead fist into the fabric of his tunic, pulling him impossibly closer, wishing you could pull him into your very being. 

You stumble blindly as Solas urges you backwards, your knees hitting the edge of the bed, Solas following you down to the feather mattress, catching his weight on his forearms. 

He never breaks the kiss, his lips molding against yours as fire runs through your veins, burning brighter than the summer sun. His hands, calloused from years of wielding his staff, slide beneath your robe and ruck up your night shirt in search of the soft skin beneath. 

You both only separate for desperate gasps of air before Solas is devouring you once more, teeth nipping at your lip before you feel his tongue slide along the seam of your lips. You clutch him tighter as he sighs into you at your willing acceptance, exploring your mouth with his own before he finally breaks away from you, nuzzling against your jaw as he presses feather light kisses there and down your neck. 

“I want you,” he breathes, hands clutching at your waist. “I crave you. And it terrifies me.” he admits. 

You take a moment to gather your thoughts, the thoughts that were scattered leagues apart from one another by his kisses, by his hands roaming over your skin. 

“You…you can be afraid and still do it,” you tell him. 

Solas chuckles then, an almost inaudible sound against your collar bone. 

“What do you think I’m doing?”

You smile, sliding your hands up to cup his jaw, urging him up to look at you, heart stuttering a the look in his eyes. 

“I thought…”

He shakes his head, turning to place a kiss on your palm. 

“I have not stopped thinking about our kiss in the fade,” he admits. “I’m sorry if my actions betrayed otherwise.” 

 “Will you stay?” you ask.

Solas smiles down at you before capturing you in another breathtaking kiss. 

“Nothing would please me more.”

Solas lifts himself from you, helping you beneath the covers before moving to extinguish the lights around the room. When the last one is blown out, you only know he joins you when the bed dips at your side, the covers lifting as he slides in beside you. 

Warm hands seek you out once more, lips fumbling in the dark until you kiss one last time, this one seeming to promise more than words ever could. 

Neither of you speak again. Not until you both settle, Solas’ body pressing into you from behind as his arms snake around your waist, legs tangling with your own. Not until you’re already in the dregs of slumber and you hear him call to you one last time.

“vhen’an’ara.”

[stayteezdreams]

Run!

Plot: As you head to a Halloween party, you and Yeonjun decide to take a short-cut through the cemetery. While your relationship evolves during the walk there, the moment doesn't last too long as you realize you aren't alone.

Pairing: Choi Yeonjun x Gn!Reader (friends to lovers)

Prompts: "You look stupid" "I'm dressed as you"+ "What do we do?" "Run!"

A/N: This is the outfit I was referencing btw

Warnings: Creepy ghost stuff. Cemetery. A couple kisses.

Words: 2k

You practically skipped to the door once you heard the doorbell. You had been waiting for Yeonjun to come get you, and you were excited for his reaction to your costume. You didn't know if he would be honored, amused or offended, but any reaction would give you joy.

As the door swung open revealing Yeonjun, you were less than surprised to see him dressed as a vampire. Again.

"A vampire! How original" Sarcasm dripped from your voice and Yeonjun tutted.

He looked you up and down and raised his brow, "It's better than yours. You look stupid."

You bit back a laugh as you slowly grinned. "I'm dressed as you."

His eyes flicked back down to your outfit as he slowly began to recognize it. It was his Blue Hour comeback outfit. As realization crossed his face you bit your lip to repress another laugh.

"In that case you look great."

You posed and smiled, "I know."

He rolled his eyes before he suddenly stepped forward and playfully pulled at the jacket. "Never mind, you don't deserve it, give it back!"

You laughed as you fought him off before you suddenly came face to face, your noses brushed and your eyes locked.

"You can't have it back." You mumbled, trying to diffuse whatever just palpitated between you.

Suddenly pulling away from you, he quickly recovered, "Fine, I don't want it back anyways."

You grinned, though your heart was racing. "It's not even yours."

"It's not yours either.... how did you get it anyways?"

You hummed as you grabbed your bag, signaling you were ready to go. "I have my ways."

He scoffed lightly as you walked past him and out the door. He locked and closed the door behind you before catching up to walk beside you. The tension between you remained but you both ignored it, something you had both gotten rather good at as of late.

As you got further down the road, having decided to walk to the party since it wasn't that far away, Yeonjun suddenly grabbed you by the elbow making you turn to walk with him.

"Let's go through here, it's faster."

You looked around with growing hesitation as you squeezed through a gate that looked like it shouldn't be open.

"The cemetery?" You suddenly whispered as a chill ran over you. "I don't think we're allowed to be in here at night."

He shrugged, "It'll be fine, who's gonna catch us, a ghost?"

You rolled your eyes as you nudged his shoulder. He smiled softly as you continued to walk through the large cemetery. It was the oldest area, the graves were barely managed, names and dates worn off long ago.

You had been here during the day before, and it was not nearly as creepy as this. Why did night always make everything so unsettling?

Yeonjun noticed your gaze shooting around as your hands gripped the strap of your bag tightly. He smiled to himself before he suddenly gasped and jumped, making you jump and grab his arm, "What?!" You gasped out and he laughed.

You stared at him with a blank expression before smacking his shoulder, "Don't do that!"

"Sorry, sorry, I couldn't help it."

He continued to chuckle as you quickly walked past him, a frown evident on your face. He jogged to catch up to you, "Wait, slow down, I'm sorry!"

You kept your eyes forward as he appeared beside you, a grin still on his face as he tried to get you to look at him.

Purposely avoiding his eyes he let out a soft chuckle, "Oh come on, it was funny." Seeing you try hard to repress a grin, he straightened back up, knowing you weren't really angry. "You're cute when you're scared."

Halting, you ignored the way your heart skipped a beat and glared at him, he looked back at you with a soft chuckle. Suddenly grabbing your hand, he pulled you to keep walking with him as he continued smiling.

"Come on."

You looked down at your intertwined hands, your heart still racing as the back of your neck burned hot. He has held your hand a few times before, and every time it makes you feel the same. You weren't sure why he kept doing it. The two of you had been avoiding your obvious feelings for each other for a while now. Didn't this kind of thing just make it harder?

Yeonjun glanced at you from his peripheral, he had an idea, but he wasn't sure if it would work. But before he could, a large bird suddenly shot out of the tree near you, causing both of you to gasp and stagger backwards.

Yeonjun and you both let out soft groans, he grinned as he looked over at you. Your eyes were closed as your head was tilted back, a look of annoyance on your face.

"Boo!" He suddenly yelled, as he grabbed your arms.

You yelped and jumped before you groaned and began smacking his shoulders, "I. Told. You. Not. To. Do. That." You grumbled as you smacked him in between each word.

He continued to laugh as he pulled you into a hug, stopping your assault. "I know I'm sorry, I couldn't help it, it was too easy."

You sighed as your face was pressed into his shoulder. You expected him to let go when you calmed down, but he didn't. Instead, you felt his arms tighten around you.

"What are you doing?" You finally asked, your voice soft.

"Hugging you."

"Why?"

He rested his head against yours, "Because I want to."

You were sure he could feel your heart beating heavily in your chest as you went silent, not sure if you should speak. Silence sat between you as the tension surrounded you. Could he feel it too?

"Y/n?"

"Yeah?"

"I like you."

Your chest tightened as your breath caught for a moment.

"I know." You admitted and you heard him let out a soft laugh.

"You like me too, right?"

You felt like your heart was going to burst out of your chest as you whispered out. "Yes."

"Then why aren't we dating?"

Silence hung between you for a moment as your mind raced. Had he been torturing himself with the same questions you did?

"I don't know. Fear, I guess? That our friendship will change."

"Can we get over it?"

Your stomach twisted. "The fear, or our feelings?"

"The fear."

He pulled away from you but kept his hands on your arms. "I want to be your best-friend, but I want to be your boyfriend too. Do you think we could get over the fear of that being impossible?"

'God, I hope so.'

You nodded your head instead before smiling softly, "I think we can. If we try."

He smiled down at you before he gently caressed your face, "I want to try. I really do."

Leaning forward, he stopped just before your lips touched as his eyes met yours. Silently asking for permission to kiss you. Knowing it had to be your choice too, you closed your eyes as you met him the rest of the way.

When your lips pressed against his, his heart jolted as his mind went blank. His hand moved from your arm to your waist as he pulled you closer, leaning further into the kiss.

It was gentle, and sweet, holding the fear, hope and joy of your newfound relationship.

When he pulled away, your eyes opened and locked with each other's as you smiled, timidly and excitedly. He gently pinched your cheek, and you smacked his chest, making him chuckle.

As you continued to smile and stare into each other's eyes, you both came to a full stop as goosebumps rose up your arms.

You had both picked up on a new noise at the same time.

Humming.

It was almost echoing around you, as your eyes shot around, you wondered if maybe you were hearing the party from a distance. But then, you picked up on another noise, gradually getting louder.

Footsteps.

Crunching through the leaves and gravel, closer and closer.

Yeonjun slowly took your hand as he peered around, trying to catch sight of whoever it was that was weird enough to be walking around the cemetery. I mean, besides the two of you.

"Where is it coming from?" You whispered as softly as you could.

Yeonjun shook his head, expressing his own confusion as he too looked around.

And then, from just beside you, you heard a metal clang, followed by an eerie metal scraping and creaking noise. You both turned your heads towards the sound, to see the nearby mausoleum door slowly creaking open.

Your mouth slowly opened as fear started to grip you. Yeonjun's hand gripped yours tighter as you both remained completely still.

The door came to a stop with a loud clang, revealing the perfectly pitch-dark interior of the mausoleum.

Silence sat around you. No birds, no bugs, nothing.

And then a gentle humming, the same tune from before. But this time, coming from inside the mausoleum.

"What do we do?" You asked with fear lacing your voice.

Yeonjun swallowed before he shouted out, probably a bit louder than he meant too. "Run!"

He turned, his hand still in yours as he began to run, bringing you with him. Neither of you looked back as you ran down the path and towards what you hoped was another gate out of the cemetery.

Finally seeing the exit, but seeing it bolted closed with a lock, Yeonjun groaned as he led you to a short fence near the edge of the woods. After he helped you climb over, he took your hand again and ran with you, hopefully leading the two of you to safety.

Through your fear and adrenaline, you didn't care about the various branches, stickers, spider-webs, or trees you had to climb through to get out of there.

Making it out onto the street once again, you and Yeonjun ran another block before you finally came to a stop. Your breathing was heavy as your chests ached painfully, your sides hurting from the over-exertion.

You and Yeonjun looked from the direction of the graveyard to each other before smiles spread across your faces. Fear was still evident in your voice, and in your hearts as they raced, but neither of you could help laughing out in a mix of anxiety and adrenaline-based bewilderment.

"What the fuck was that?" Yeonjun asked as he groaned, putting his hands on his head as he continued to try and catch his breath.

"I don't think I can ever go back in there, even during the day."

Yeonjun just shook his head as he crouched down and let out an incredulous laugh.

You looked around, trying to figure out where you were. Before you frowned. "We're on the other side of town from the party." You said in between breaths.

At this, Yeonjun looked around before groaning and falling back on his butt on the sidewalk. "I don't care anymore. Not after that."

You nodded your head softly, feeling the same. You could go home and fall asleep for a year. Actually, scratch that, you weren't sure you were gonna be able to sleep at all tonight.

Yeonjun looked over at you, taking in your disheveled figure. He let out a soft laugh and you looked over at him, "What?"

He shook his head lightly, "Nothing. Do you still want to go to the party?"

You shook your head. "Not really, no."

He nodded with a smile as he reached out his hand, wanting you to walk over to him and take it. As you did so, he kept smiling at you. "There's something else I'd rather be doing anyways."

"What?"

As he yanked you with one hand, and grabbed around your waist with his other, you let out a yelp of surprise as he pulled you down to sit on his lap.

"Wha-"

Before you could question him, he pulled you into another kiss. Even though you were still struggling to recover from running, you couldn't help but grab the collar of his shirt and return to kiss with equal fervor.

After pulling away a few moments later, you both stared at each other before you laughed again. This night certainly had its twists and turns, earning you a couple of stories to tell.

xx End xx

Not sure how I feel about this one, but I had to get something done lol

🌼 Taglist Form 🌼

General Taglist: @otsilliak, @brattybunfornct, @bahng-chrizz, @otakutrash669,

@tinyelfperson, @pinievsev, @teenyfinds, @everythingboutkpop,  

@shymexican, @stillwjk-channie-lixie, @alexxavicry

@luckypaintertyphoon < tag doesnt work

TXT Taglists: Everyone: @thunderous-wolf, @briqnne, @dancinglikebutterflywings, Yeonjun: @hongjoongsprincess, @dear-dreamie, @ye0nvibezzn

[thelasttime]

okay hey remember mixed signals guy anon it’s me <333 uhh new title sweetest bf anon?

cause genuinely he’s the sweetest most perfect bf ever and i adore him so much and he adores me and it’s all so so perfect

couple days ago we hung out most of the day at his place and i met his family and stayed for supper and he drove me home and met my mom and it was great

but! to the point when we hung out he kissed me twice but we didn’t get to kiss a lot because he was nervous to ask me the whole time lol and it was only like, well, our second and third kiss

only problem is i genuinely don’t know what to think about kissing and i can never remember enough after to decide whether i like it or not lmaoo but the thing i do like is how he physically touches me otherwise like hand holding?? the thumb thing?? arm around me or having our bodies touching any other way?? stroking/touching my thigh or arm?? i LOVE that and we did a lot of that cause we were watching a movie (and half of another) together

just yeah idk do you think i just have to get used to kissing before i start actually liking it and yk remembering it lol ??

(also also he asked so politely if he could kiss me and told me he was nervous to ask cause i was so pretty, and also that he’d wanted to for like two hours…)

(also our hands fit perfectly together btw 🤭)

yes kissing!! i felt the exact same way as you described when me and GB had our first kiss (and second and third). i totally agree that the physical touch is very very very great even if the kissing isn't as great at first. i find that, for me personally, you really just have to get used to kissing!! start slow like with a few pecks here and there (doesn't have to be prolonged kisses) and you'll get used to the sensation of someone's lips being on YOUR lips

[ejzah]

Since Deeks seems to be in the 14x12 and seeing the synopsis, could you maybe write something about him being worried about Kensi? (I hope there will be some good Densi content in this episode ^^). Thanks in advance, and I'm a big fan of your writing btw!

Thanks you so much anon! Since we don’t have a whole lot of info about this episode, I kind of had to guess at some of what is going on. I also could not find a spelling for the missing lieutenant’s name, so apologies if I have butchered it.

***

Gut Feeling

“Alright, well hopefully Kensi and Fatima will be able to tell us what Lieutenant Makhmad was doing before she disappeared,” Callen was saying, as he leaned against his desk, facing Sam and Deeks.

“Uh, speaking of Kensi and Fatima, have you heard from either of them recently?” Rountree asked, appearing in the bullpen with a tablet balanced in one hand. He kept his voice neutral, but he wasn’t so successful at hiding the tension and worry in his eyes.

Deeks sat forward, instantly on alert. “No, not for a while. Why?”

“I haven’t been able to reach either of them. They haven’t answered my texts and my calls just go to voicemail.”

As Rountree spoke, Deeks pulled out his phone and tapped Kensi’s icon in his contacts. He stood, pacing a few feet away while he silently begged Kensi to pick up.

“When’s the last time you heard from either of them?” Deeks heard Sam asking.

“Over an hour,” Rountree responded in a low voice. Deeks closed his eyes, stomach clenching tighter with every ring that passed without Kensi answering until her familiar voicemail greeting played.

“She’s not picking up for me either,” Deeks said, stalking back to the center of the bullpen. “Where are they right now?”

“That’s the other thing; their phones are both offline. Last signal was from the landfill, but that was 45 minutes ago.” Rountree held himself stiffly, clearly picking up on the tension in Deeks’ voice.

“It could be that they’ve got poor reception,” Sam suggested in a calming voice. Deeks flashed him a look of incredulity.

“Then Kensi would have found a way to contact one of us if that happened. Something’s not right. Where’s her SUV, Rountree?”

“It’s still at the landfill.”

“Then we need to get out there right now and find them,” Deeks said as he reached into his desk for his gun.

“Hold on, Deeks, let’s not panic,” Callen cautioned him. “We don’t want to rush in and tip off whoever might have kidnapped the lieutenant.”

“Right, because waiting has always worked out so well for us in the past.”

“Deeks—”

Slamming the drawer shut with enough for that it bounced back slightly, Deeks shook his head, and stalked out of the bullpen before he said or did something he would regret.

Callen sighed, glancing to Sam, who acknowledged it with a nod.

“I’ll go talk to him. Rountree, you keep trying to contact Kensi and Fatima and see if you can find any surveillance footage,” Sam said.

“Right.” Rountree started to head for the stair, then turned back, his mask of neutrality completely gone. “Just for the record, I’m with Deeks on this one.”

***

Deeks wasn’t surprised when the locker room door opened behind him a few minutes after he entered. He didn’t acknowledge Sam’s presence, continuing to turn in disorganized circles, resisting the urge to kick or throw something. His temper was just barely under control.

“Deeks, we don’t know that Kensi or Fatima are in danger. And if they are, they know how to defend themselves.

Deeks dragged his hands through his hair, nostrils flaring as he finally turned to face Sam.

“Sam, don’t try to pull that with me. You know how quickly things can change. Doesn’t matter how good or prepared you are.”

“Ok, why this one in particular? I haven’t seen you in a state like this in a while. Especially without any confirmation.”

He fought down the urge to snap at Sam, let his anger and fear loose. That usually resulted in threats of being benched and he didn’t intend to let that happen. So he forced himself to respond calmly, even though he felt anything but.

“I’ve been here with Kensi too many times before. When she went in that silo, when Sullivan took her, when she found Rosa.” He broke off and pressed his clenched fist to his chest. “I can feel it. Something’s wrong. You know what I’m talking about, don’t you, Sam?” Deeks said, quietly imploring Sam to listen to him. Before it was too late.

Sam sighed deeply, and nodded, almost reluctantly.

“I do know that feeling,” he admitted. “I trust your intuition, Deeks. I’ll tell G we need to head out ASAP.”

Sam squeezed his shoulder, and Deeks closed his eyes, grateful.

“Thanks, Sam,” he choked out. He just hoped they hadn’t waited too long.

***

A/N: Thanks for the prompt!

[papersparrows]

april 22, 2023

tw: mentions of domestic abuse

-

After ng show ni Phum, tumambay muna kami sa isang café sa loob ng Town. Kasama ko HS best friend ko, and kumain lang kami kasi hinang-hina na ko that time dahil lahat ng kinain ko bago umalis ng bahay ay sin*ka ko lang din. Need din namin magchikahan, so that's what we did dahil fresh from breakup ang best friend ko. It was a fucked up situation so wala kaming pakialam kahit nag-iiyakan kami sa gitna ng café hahaha.

Nung lumabas na kami ng Town, nagbook kami ng Grab pero magkahiwalay kami kasi pupunta pa siyang Makati para magdinner with coworkers naman. Ako, need umuwi dahil nilalagnat pa at yung show lang naman pinunta ko. There was an older lady na nag-aabang din ng ride sa tabi namin, and she approached us to ask kung may taxi pa. Sabi namin di na namin nakikita talaga puro Grab na lang kasi mga sinasakyan, so napa-book din siya ng Grab. Dumating agad ride ng best friend ko, so naiwan na lang kami nung tita. She asked for my help dahil mahina signal para mag data, so I obliged. I helped her look for the right license plate rin kasi hindi na niya makita masyado. And then, she asked me if Catholic ako and I told her that I was. She then asked me if I could pray for her, if I could pray really hard... and then she started crying so I tried to comfort her. She told me na battered wife siya to a cheating husband, and that her kids are kind of blaming her for what's happening. "You are what you tolerate" pa nga daw, which I found to be extremely unfair. Nobody wants to tolerate these things. Hindi madali umalis sa ganong sitwasyon lalo na if malakas yung kontrol ng taong yun sa buhay mo. Sabi rin niya na her husband basically killed her on paper (always wrote "single" sa legal documents regarding properties and valuable possessions nila as a married couple) and apparently lawyer din pala asawa niya kaya nakakalusot. She said that if she left, she would have nothing. If she was left by him, and he's been gone for 3 days na daw, she would have nothing as well. It was clear to me that she needed to vent, so I let her. I don't think she was being allowed the space to talk about it at home with her family. She told me more details about her life, and even showed me a bruise she had on her forehead that she got from her husband. 😔 My ride arrived and I told her I had to leave, but I asked for her name so that I could contact her through fb and offer to listen to her troubles, offer possible legal advice because my family runs a law office as well, and just let her know that she has a friend and that I'm ready to help any way I can.

Here's the crazy part!

When I mentioned that we run a law office, she asked for my full name and where I was from, and then asked if I was related to Atty. *insert my dad's name* from UP Diliman daw. I was shocked!! Sabi ko sa kanya na dad ko yun, and she was equally surprised! She told me that she was a batchmate from when my dad studied there. I confirmed to her that that was my dad she was talking about, but had to deliver to her the news of his passing and that he was gone 2 years ago. I promised I would text her to check if she got home safe, and I rode my Grab. I had a hellish ride btw but pagod na kong ikwento because it was so bad!!! I was genuinely terrified and texting family members na. The driver was clueless, relied on me for directions despite me telling him di ko alam kung san niya kami dinadaan (he chose a route he NEVER went through just to avoid traffic), and then after a supposedly 40 min ride that stretched into nearly 3 hours, guards wouldn't let us in from where we passed through so he ended up having a full-on altercation with them. Siya pa yung nagalit sa ginawa niya and he was driving so recklessly due to anger. I ended up being way more sick that night when I got home because of the stress I felt like I was dying haha. I was legit ready to ask to be dropped off along the way na lang from being so scared but I couldn't because I felt so sick. Tiniis ko na lang.

Later that night, the tita replied to me and told me she got home safe and told me that I'm an angel sent her way. She told me her husband's full name din, which I took note of, and realized that my dad has mentioned this name before. Even my mom recognized him by name. But I don't think they really knew each other (my dad and that lady's lawyer husband) dahil not from the same vicinity naman kami but small world lang din ang lawyers they at least know almost everybody by name.

I just think it was such a wild coincidence like who would have thought we would cross paths? I know this is such a heavy topic, but I am completely not at all inside her world and her life, and I can't do anything she won't allow me to as a stranger she just crossed paths with. We do still talk to each other through messenger, kamustahan, just reminding her that she has a friend from afar. It makes me happy to know I can offer her some joy and friendship. Maybe my dad brought her and I together in that short moment. He does like to pull the strings from heaven after all, I've noticed.

[frayna-of-the-hollow]

Yall I wrote something! Hope you enjoy!

This is for my Prince x Gardener story that I started thinking about in June lol

(It's in the form of a diary entry btw, Tara is the diary)

@be-gentle-with-littluns-2

7/23

Dear Tara,

In Axia, we have a tradition for people who identify as a different gender. Today, it was my turn to carry it on. 

I woke up to Grandma and Pop Pop screaming “Happy Transitory Day” over and over. Mother ushered them out as she saw I was waking up and handed me the ceremonial robes we had received, made by a royal tailor. 

I had told them (my parents, I mean) many times that I didn’t need to have something so fancy (I am relatively poor, you know; that's why I started this job as a gardener), but putting it on felt… right. The proportions were perfect. They showed off my now flat chest and it was in the perfect colour. It was lined with the slightest amount of fur, enough to make me feel comfortable without burning me alive in this heat or overstimulate me with the ticklishness.

For a while I was just attending a party or two; one at my parent’s, one at my grandparents, et cetera. Eventually, there was one party left. I mentioned that I’m taking a job as a gardener, but what I didn’t mention is that I got promoted to Junior Royal gardener. Because of this, I was invited to attend a party inside the castle. My protests were met with more and more people insisting that I go.

Though, as I write this, I’m thankful that I did, because I got to meet the royal family. The queen was very nice and supportive (she even gave me a hug) but that’s not entirely what I’m talking about. I met the Prince, Prince Adrian. He’s about my age, and I think he is SO CUTE. I was standing in a corner trying not to get noticed when he comes over and says, “hey, you’re Peter, right? What are you doing over here?” I could barely focus on what he said cause I couldn’t focus on anything other than his dark green eyes, but eventually I told him that i’m not really good with new people and he said “Well, you stared into my soul for around 10 seconds, so maybe you aren’t as bad as you think.” We both laughed and we sat down together on the wall. We talked for what felt like an hour before I even realised that he was the prince! In the meantime he complimented me quite a bit. I'm wondering if it was flirting… hopefully? 

Anyway, I said to him, “Wait, aren’t you… Prince Adrian? Why are you talking to me? There are definitely better places for you to be than a dark stone corner talking to a poor kid.” He laughed softly and got all flustered, he even tucked his hair behind his ear cutely and AUGH IM GONNA FALL ASLEEP THINKIGN ABOUT THAT HNUIHBDSO-

Sorry, I got off track. He told me the reason was that he “Doesn’t really like anyone else at this party”. I swear I wanted to hug him. Didn’t get the chance to though, cause the bells signalling the ceremony began ringing. We said goodbye and we told each other that we’d see each other at the ceremony.

When I stepped onto the beach, I was met with the cheers of what looked like the entire village. I tried for a polite smile but at some point it was getting so loud I had to cover my ears. The crowd quieted down, either out of respect or because the main event was about to start. I scanned the sea of faces and found Adrian, smiling and waving like we had last seen each other 3 months ago, not 30 minutes. I hoped my face wasn’t turning bright red.

I stepped up to the waves, careful to not step on any of the names that were already written in the sand. It appeared to be high tide. I carefully walked in. Drums beat in the background, playing the music made for this tradition. When the water receded, I wrote the name my parents originally chose for me. A few people booed (it’s not required but some feel that it can show support). I watched as the water came up and washed away the name. I could barely tell it was there in the first place.

I took a few steps backwards, to a place marked by flags. It was at a point that even the high tide could not reach. There, I slowly and carefully wrote my name.

PETER

Cheers erupted from the stands again, but suddenly stopped. I turned around to Prince Adrian running up to me and throwing his arms around me. I would have stepped on my name if he had not decided to pick me up and spin me around… my gods, it felt amazing. He smelled like watermelon… I think I would have kissed him, had we not met a few minutes ago…

Shit, i'm getting off topic again… well, that's basically the end of the story anyway. I can't wait to work at the castle! (Maybe I could see him again…)

[loveyourlovelysoul]

Hello

Update:

So all of my friends asked cornered me and asked me why I don't talk with them

I told them they ignore me and that it is mutual

I also told them that they give me mixed signals

It didn't go well

There was some other girl that just saw everything, she is in our class

I told them that I didn't talk much bc they talk about topics that I don't know

And I think I had written in my previous ask that I was closer with one girl bc we traveled together last year

But she didn't support me, in fact she attacked more than the others.

She and the others said, we talk about everything, our day and our bfs[I don't have one, to start with] and you just don't talk and you are being mysterious, we don't want anyone mysterious

I feel like this drama was unnecessary. I told them that I don't require them to talk about everything and that anyone has the right to say whatever they want to. Bc they multiple times said that they talk about everything and that I don't. And that I ignored them yesterday. Yes, I did, and I said you guys ignored me too. And it was like that.

But I got mad bc that girl I traveled with, we had talked so much for a year, and today she said ,, don't know anything about you". It was all bullshit. After that I talked with them more and now I'm going home. With them, it feels like every day is different.

They said if you don't enjoy us just tell us and I said if I didn't enjoy hanging out with you I wouldn't (not in class, about hanging out outside of school)

Idk they all just played blind and evil.

I even said, I talk but you ignore me. Bc before this I said something to one girl about the topic she was talking and she just nodded her head. I told this to them and they didn't say anything specific about it, just repeatedly out don't talk"

Hello

I am sorry but I feel like I cannot help you any further now: I have already said what I could say about this situation. I understand you're still mad and hurt after this last event and that you need to vent and probably have nowhere else to go than here, but except suggesting you to focus back on you and not on them (despite it's very hard), grounding and then processing your feelings and what wounds they may be re-opening (if it's the case, Idk), I cannot tell you what else to do (maybe it's my past speaking here, but I feel like you need something from me even if you haven't openly expressed it). Try journaling, working on your emotions through writing. The only thing I could add is that having a friendship shouldn't be stressing, and that it's weird that all this is happening now all of a sudden but yk, everything could be: there's only one way to try and find the reasons. And also, communicating should be done with peace and curiosity, and not through letting our insecurities make us sound harsh or accusing (this from all sides -I reblogged a post about this a couple of hours ago or so, maybe it can help you also in expressing what you need in your relationships)

It'll prolly sound to you like I'm letting you down and I am very sorry, but that's not what my boundaries are about: I am a nobody online and for as much I try to help y'all, I cannot outrun my limits or judge people/situations I don't know (btw no, you didn't write about the trip but that's unimportant anyway: it's not important what I know or don't about your life or what I think, but how you try to process your emotions and decide what's better for you from an objective space of mind. How you see yourself and the situation: we're the best judges the moment we try to let our emotions out of it).

Best of lucks, take care<3

[foreveragayicon]

92 Truths Tag

Rules: Say 92 truths about yourself and when you’re done tag 25 people.

I was tagged by @jinglebellslou and @rosebhd ily guys💜💜

LAST:

Drink: coke

Phone call: just was facetiming my friend baily :)

Text message: “fuck antis” in the @/pan/bi gc

Song you listened to: HIM- Sam Smith

Time you cried: ummm like yesterday lmao

HAVE YOU EVER:

Dated someone twice: nah fam

Been cheated on: nah

Kissed someone and regretted it: yep :))

Lost someone special: lots :/

Been depressed: ha ha ha funny what’s depression? I don’t know her

Been drunk and thrown up: I don’t drink

IN THE PAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

Made a new friend: so so many :) I appreciate all of you in the GCs and irl

Fallen out of love: yep

Laughed until you cried: everyday

Met someone who changed you: Rosalynn :)

Found out who your true friends are: oh like the time I was outed to the entire school and had so much shit talked about me behind my back😍😍😍 so no everyone is always nice to me

Found out someone was talking about you: when is someone not talking shit about me, this the question

GENERAL:

How many people on tumblr do you know in real life?: none atm but I really want to meet my best friend Rosalynn (she doesn’t have a tumblr anymore but I love her) there’s loads of people that I’ve just met recently that I’d love to meet in the headbands GC

Do you have any pets?: 3 dogs and a horse

Do you want to change your name?: no

What time did you wake up this morning: 5am because I had to get up and go to start our 8hr road trip!!

What were you doing last night: rewatching forensic files bc @heterophobiclarry made me remember what a good show it is

Name something you cannot wait for: when I can be freely out as pan

Have you ever talked to a person named Tom?: ye

What’s getting on your nerves right now: do we have all day?

Blood type: idk

Relationship status: single ;)

Zodiac sign: gemini

Pronouns: she/her

Favorite show: the office will always be #1 but idk TBH I like a lot of shows

College: I want to go to Boulder in Colorado but we’ll see

Hair color: brown

Do you have a crush on someone: on like 5 different people 😍😍

What do you like about yourself: I’m loyal, I think I’m funny, I’m pretty caring, and I’m glad I use my brain unlike some people :)

FIRSTS:

First surgery: I got surgery on my wrist because I had a completely torn ligament from volleyball

First piercing: normal ears pierced

First sport you joined: I started skiing at 3 and then riding horses at 7 so ya :)

First vacation: I have no clue honestly. Probably Mexico

First pair of sneakers: uhhh,,,

RIGHT NOW:

Eating: nothing

Drinking: water

I’m about to: go to a party w all my family friends and trying to convince to come

Listening to: No Control lmao

Want kids: definitely when I’m like 28

Get married: definitely

Career: I want to be an occupational therapist and using horses to improve people’s conditions :) I’ve been volunteering at this one barn and I really enjoy it. Hippo-therapy is super interesting to me

WHICH IS BETTER:

Lips or eyes: eyes

Hugs or kisses: hugs

Shorter or taller: it depends. If it’s a guy I prefer taller, girls shorter, and nb can be whatever as long as they’re cute ;)

Older or younger: just a little older

Romantic or spontaneous: that’s hard both

Sensitive or loud: bothhh

Hook up or relationship: relationship

Troublemaker or hesitant: wtf I legit can’t decide between any of these ermmmm

HAVE YOU EVER:

Kissed a stranger: ya

Drank hard liquor: no

Lost contacts/glasses: honey do I have something to tell you,,, I lose my glasses literally everyday bc I take out my contacts and then I can’t see rippp

Sex on first date: I don’t think I would but never say never

Broken someone’s heart: idk maybe but I don’t think so

Been arrested: no

Turned someone down: yes

Fallen for a friend: ….what….how could that ever happen? I totally did not fall in love with my friend who was painfully straight…no never happened to me :))))

DO YOU BELIEVE:

In yourself: kinda

Miracles: ya

Love at first sight: no u can’t fall in love just from looking at someone, but I guess I felt that way for louis so who tf knows

Heaven: ye

Santa Clause: who doesn’t???

Thanks for tagging me guys this was so much fun!! Haven’t done one of these in a while :)

I’ll just tag my frands in the headbands gc bc I love all of u: @louismushroomhair @headbandslouis @missyouofficial @oiiilivia @larrysoulmates @gimmieshelter @harryftdua @jewishdyke @jollysaintlouis @poinsettialouis @harryscinnamonswirl @louisbells @ltalbum

Ok I got tired that’s all I’m gonna tag jsjsjs

[bbiemochi]

hey there! I was wondering if you can do Diluc and the reader sleeping then their child cries at the middle of the night? And diluc goes to comfort the kid and the reader walks in and smiles at them? thank you in advance :D <33

𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚎𝚎 | diluc ragnvindr x reader

[an]: this request is so cute im sobbing. tysm for requesting ! ^^ (note: c/n stands for child’s name !)

summary: late nights are supposed to be the most relaxing nights for everyone to just rest and sleep in, just not for your little child…

pairing: father!diluc ragnvindr x fem!mother!reader (the kid here is g/n btw so it could either be a son or a daughter whichever you prefer…! ^^)

genre: super fluffy i have warned u

***

great archons.

if it weren’t for the loud thunderstorm this evening, then diluc would’ve been asleep an hour ago. cuddled up in bed with his head resting on top of yours, diluc listens as the thunder and rain mash together to form a loud tune outside the winery. it was super difficult to catch some blink of sleep due to the rain bothering diluc to the bone—he wasn’t expecting a loud storm approaching tonight here in mondstadt. guess barbatos had plans.

shifting his head, his eyes scanning around the room he’s in with you (his lovely wife), diluc decided to sneak out for a while to fetch himself some cold water to clear down his throat. even though the night was young (which felt like the opposite because of the heavy rain outside his house), the young man’s eyes was already droopy tired from taking care of angel’s share along with charles for an hour. almost even felt like a day. and the fact that he hardly got to ever hang out with you nor his child because he was too busy to do so, he felt terrible.

diluc wanted to be a good father for his child after all. he promised you that when you found out you were pregnant.

in the kitchen, diluc grabbed a glass and poured himself some water as he ignored the storm that flashed through his window; like it was nothing but a boar running by the bushes. at this point, storms felt quite normal for him already—just not when it comes to sleeping of course, diluc could hardly sleep well with such loud noise to ruin his good rest for the day, just him and you. as he gulped down the water, he heard a thud coming towards the direction of the manor’s stairs. he was quick to turn his head to where the noise came from, and what he saw was his little child, crying at the base of the stairs steps.

diluc dropped the glass in a hurry and ran towards his child. “c/n? hey what’s wrong, sweetie? what’re you doing up so late…?” he hushes them, wiping the child’s tears away from their eyes. their tiny hands wrapped around diluc’s neck, signaling him to carry them—which diluc noticed and obliged quickly. “papa, i had a nightmare…” they cried into his neck, diluc pats their head, holding them tightly in his arms as he comforts them. “shhh…it’s alright, no need to cry anymore, daddy’s here…” he whispers.

diluc never usually was this soft until the late hours of the evening, after all he was a tired working man. the richest bachelor in mondstadt. but this, was his first time feeling so different under his roof after work. it was odd, yet he had no complaints. when the thunder roared, c/n flinches and sobbed even harder from fear. diluc wasted no time and went back upstairs to his child’s room to shepard them back to bed..

at their room after comforting his child, the rain was slowly fading away—leaving only small patter drops of rain shower left to fall throughout the night. ‘guess he needs the maids including himself to clean the weeds of his orchard yesterday after this. great. his child was still in his arms, humming a peaceful tune he thinks that will somewhat bring c/n to sleep. he was no good at lulling a child to slumber, however he did recall moments of how his father would…and that would make diluc try to at least give it ago since he was now one.

c/n was still hugging diluc tight, sniffing and their sobs hushing down, fainter and fainter. diluc made sure to rub their head to reassure that everything is fine. because he was there. with his child now breathing calmly on top of his chest, diluc slowly makes his way towards their bed, plopping c/n down thus laying down beside them to make sure they’re asleep for sure. c/n looked adorable right now. with their fluffy red hair just like their father’s, eyes fluttered shut and sleeping so wonderfully made diluc realize a blessing was seated right in front of his very eyes. he cherished every single moment he had with his child. everything. just like he had cherish you. diluc yawns from the thought.

after all—the new sheets the maids had placed on the bed earlier afternoon for his dearest child was very comfortable to lay down on. made from the finest silk and wool in mondstadt they said. some even rumored the silk to come straight from fontaine. wherever it came from, it was perfect. the perfect amount of comfort to receive and to relax on. diluc felt his eyes shutting down, yet before that happened…

“diluc…?” a faint voice entered the room. diluc felt a wave of comfort rush through him when he saw his lovely wife enter, beautiful white night gown adorning her exquisite body as she smiled at him from the door.

“i thought you were downstairs. turns out you were in our child’s room,” you laughed. diluc smiles softly, removing his arm that was holding c/n and extended it out, reaching yours. “darling, come sleep here with us…” he whispers, and you said nothing else but walked towards your two love ones. you laid down beside your child, grabbing a hold of diluc’s hand before the both of you gently lied it down on top of c/n’s heaving chest. forehead’s sticking to one another, your eyes shifted from c/n to locking them into your husband’s, whispering an ‘i love you’ to him.

diluc kisses your cheek, whispering the ‘i love you’ back—before the three of you went into deep slumber as a family. and now, there were three in the dawn winery, and diluc was never alone until he met you.

***

a/n: fucking diabetes in me rn

requests: closed </3

[unactive-shroom]

⩨͢ Baking With Venti

⋮ Character: Venti/Barbatos

⋮ Warnings: Lots of food mentions, loads of spelling errors

⋮ Fandom: Genshin Impact

⋮ Format: headcannons + one shot

⋮ A/n: i cant hear out if one ear :( and im trying anew format? yeah. Requests are open btw :)

↳ Headcannons

Good luck.

You’ll need it.

“Hmm? Oh yes, i *know* it says 2 cups of sugar. Why do i have 4? Isnt it obvious? It needs to be sweeter!!”

He constantly is trying to double the mix so you have more when its baked

He’s very stubborn aswell, inisiting that he knows the recipe better.

“Im an *archon*, y/n. I think i know how to make scones better than you. …...oh, we’re making cookies? Um… i was just testing your baking knowledge.”

Will eat the dough/mix

Guaranteed to make you laugh at every few minites

Please explain to him why you cant just guess what you need.

He has tried to microwave a spoon before to “see what happens”

↳ One shot

You ran a finger down the recipe book, double checking that you have everything you need. As a surprise fir venti, you were going to make jam tarts, using the apple jam that you had made a few days ago. You had just gotten a bowl out of the cupboard when the front door swung open and you heard “y/nnn!! Im back~!”

Oh. Oh no. The last time venti had baked with you it was a disaster that ended up with several pancakes stuck to the roof, flour everywhere, and egg mix in your hair. Dont get me wrong, you love venti and all, but he cant cook to save his life.

“Oh, youre home early, i thought you’d be another hour!” You called out him, signalling you were in the kitchen. “Hmmhm, i changed my mind. Missed you.” He said simply, walking into the kitchen.

He froze when he saw you and the ingredients behind you. “Ooooo what are you cooking? Can i help? I promise i wont add anything this time!”

“Venti, you said that last time and added a bottle of dandelion wine into the mix. Inti the BREAD mix. I dont know if i can trust you” you said with a sigh.

He winced at the memory. “How was *i* supposed to know it was for a charity bake?”

“Because i *told* you, venti.”

“Alright, fair. But this time i promise i wont mess anything up.”

“No”

“Y/nnnnn” he whined, wrapping his arms around you.

In the end, venti got his way and you both prepared to cook.

Apart from venti eating the dough raw and stealing spoonfuls of jam, it went pretty well. Until, of course, you put the tarts in the oven, and started doing the dishes while venti cleaned yhe countertop and table. After a few minutes, you began to smell burning, and looked over at the tarts. *someone* had turned the oven up full blast, and the tarts were already burning.

“Oh-“ venti began, before running to turn off the oven.

Needless to say, the tarts were burned pretty badly. Venti did apologise though, but he insisted the tarts were fine. Just a little crispy. To proce his point he bit into one, before wincing and spitting it out.

“Okay, im sorry. The jam tastes nice though! 10/10

[muchadoaboutstartrek]

This is what i think happened after the whole aftermath of Memento mori (S01E04). Hope you guys like it. Btw, this is like a pure smut... so i suggest don't read it unless you're comfortable with it.

Pairing: La'an/Spock

La'an paced her quarters relentlessly. The steady sound of Enterprise's engines usually calmed her down, but tonight it only aided in making the persisting itch under her skin flare up even more. The ship was vibrating under her feet, though not as smoothly as only hours earlier before it took damage from the Gorn and the incredible gravitational pull of the singularity.

She froze for a second as the ship groaned, resisting the vacuum of space as it limped through the web of spacetime towards the nearest starbase. An image of her brother flashed before her eyes and she clutched at her chest as moisture welled up in her eyes.

La'an, unfortunately, was all out of tears.

The thought of events that happended few hours ago brought up an image of Enterprise's chief science officer and an uncomfortable feeling under her skin grew before she squashed it like a bug. She shouldn't be thinking about that. With a day they've all had, she should've been in bed and on her way to la-la land hours ago. If only there wasn't a jolt in her brain every time she closed her eyes and tried to relax. She wondered for a moment if the mind meld she and Spock shared today had something to do with it, and despite her best efforts, the thought whether or not Spock was facing the same difficulties, popped up. She shook her head.

Spock was Vulcan, years of practicing control would prevent him from experiencing, the undoubtedly illogical, train of thoughts she was riding on.

She was about to climb into bed, for what was surely to be another unsuccessful attempt at falling asleep, as the computer signalized someone was at her door. La'an frowned, her eyes landing on a digital clock on her bedise, the 02:17 glaring brightly at her. She strutted towards the door, straightening her black starfleet issue sleeping shirt out of habbit. She was about to tie her long, now considerably more out of order, hair before deciding that whoever was at her door at middle of the night could deal with her not so professional look.

She opened the door, fully expecting to see some Ensign on gamma shift filing their report and getting the facefull of wide torso clad in an unusually bright science blue shirt instead. La'an gulped.

"Lieutenant Spock." She nodded in greeting, her throat suddenly dry.

Spock stood before her, not a hair out of place and still dressed in his uniform with his hands firmly behind his back. La'an watched, her gaze almost unwillingly dropping to his shoulders, as the muscles flexed when he inhaled and exhaled and she suddenly had the urge to put her tongue to them and find out how he tasted.

She almost recoiled in fright. 'Where did that come from?'

Absorbed well into her own thoughts, the train of unusual thoughts absolutely derailing, La'an failed to recognize that she wasn't alone and that Spock has been standing in front of her quarters, worry creeping up onto his face with every passing second as he gazed at La'an, suddenly and unexplainably frozen.

"La'an!" The sudden exclamation of her name jerked her out of her stupor. With a dose or mortification, she realized she has been standing like an idiot, frozen, while Spock tried to call her. She shook her head and cleared her throat.

"My apologizes Mr. Spock. What can I do for you?"

Spock shifted on his feel, almost uncomfortably. "I apologize lieutenant. I am aware that it is late but I found myself aware that I had not checked on you after what has transpired today. I also find myself..." he paused for a momen, searching for an appropriate word, "unable to enter REM phase."

Translation: "I'm sorry I'm disturbing you at the ungodly hour, but I just remembered I didn't aks you if you're alright and I can't fall asleep."

La'an shrugged and moved one step behind, inviting him in. Spock stepped into her room and an automatic doors closed behind him, the light from the hallway suddenly cut off. Feeling awakward in the dark, La'an maneuvered herself towards her bed, creating a bit of distance between the two of them.

"Computer, lights at 20 percent."

The sudden change in illumination caused her to squint slightly, her eyes adjusting to the sudden brightness. She blinked rapidly couple of times.

"I assure you, I am fine Lieutenant." She stopped at the foot of her bed, her hands clasped behind her back, her stand almost mimicking his.

"Spock is acceptable. We are off duty." His eyes were warm and if she looked close enough, La'an could see specks of yellow swimming in his irises.

She nodded, feeling slightly awkward, and averted her eyes. "Then I insist you call me La'an as well. It's only fair."

He nodded, his piercing eyes never leaving her form that strived to shrink away from him. A rather strange reaction from an otherwise very confindent officer. "La'an."

His voice was incredibly soft and deep and it sent a jolt of something straight down her spine only for it to settle low in her belly, a pleasant warmth that seemed to spread and somewhat calm that annoying itch under her skin.

"I do find myself," she began, her mouth reacting before her brain caught up, "experiencing some strange sensations."

Spock straightened, his spine as rigid as a metal pole. "Please, elaborate."

The muscles in his arms shifted, the shirt pulling tightly around his chest and La'an once again found herself wondering what those muscles would feel like rippling above her, under her... 'Snap out of it!'

"I haven't been able to fall asleep either. Every time I try to shut my brain off," his eyebrow jumped towards his hairline, "figure of speech..."

Something that was almost a smirk tugged at the corner of his lip and La'an took notice for the first time how full and kissable and delicious they looked. "Humans are exceptionally easy to tease."

La'an almost jumped out of her skin when his voice came out deeper than his usual tenor. Terror spread through her veins when the heat in her belly rushed south and she realized she was getting aroused. She squeezed her legs together, praying to every diety she didn't believe in that he didn't notice.

"C-Could this be a consequence of a mind meld?" She wanted to slap herself when she stuttered. 'What are you five La'an? Get a grip!'

"I am almost certain that it is. Humans, as psi-null beings, tend to not cope well in the aftermath of a mind meld. The unique circumstances under which it has been conducted have no doubt caused your mind to become overwhelmed."

Gods above, he was speaking in words that were too big to comprehend on a normal day, let alone after the chaotic one they've had.

"To put it in plain English," the smirk was back at almost full force, "your mind is in a state of shock."

"Then.." she stopped for a moment as she looked at him, impossibly handsome (why was she taking notes of his appearance now), the lights playing hide and seek across his body, making him look somewhat similar to a statue of Greek gods. She licked her suddenly dry lips, too busy panicking to notice his eyes flicking down to follow the action. Her eyes ran wildly across the room in an effort to anchor herself, her fingers squeezed into a fist behind her back.

He took a step towards her and she took a matching one back almost instinctively. Her knees made contact with the matters and she was stopped from falling backwards onto it by a pair of strong hands that took hold of her bare forearms. The skin to skin contact sent a zip of pleasure to her brain and she had to bite her lip to stop herself from moaning out loud and making a fool of herself. Spock stiffened slightly at the action as La'an locked her gaze straight ahead, stubbornly not looking at him.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." she mumbled several apologies as she tried to move away from him once she regained her balance, not realizing her fingers were no longer compressed into a fist and were twisted into his shirt. His fingers rubbed comforting circles at her forearms as he stepped even closer and effectively pressed her aginst him. La'an subconsciously gripped his shirt tighter and leaned onto him, his chin resting at the top of her head.

"La'an, breathe." His voice was calm and she tried to follow his instructions but her mind was all over the place and all she could see, feel and smell was him. He took hold of her hand, spreading her fingers apart, which sent another electric shock through her and this time there was no way to prevent a gasp from leaving her mouth. Once his shirt was released from the prison that were her fingers, he placed them flat aginst his chest. "Breathe." He took a breath and La'an struggled to copy his movements. After a few moments she got the hang of it and was slowly relaxing her stance, her head slumping forward slightly. Her forhead was pressed onto his chest and his other arm was now surrounding her in a one arm hug. She resisged the urge to think twice about how well she fit into his side and how amazingly he felt wrapped against her.

The hand on her back started rubbing up and down and she leaned onto him even more, shamelessly basking in the comfort he was giving her. He shifted his stance slightly and La'an found herself eased into an easy two step movement as his nose brushed her temples. She instinctively tilted her head up and was met with pupils that were so large, they almost swallowed up whole iris. Her hands wrapped around his shoulders as she rose on her toes to reach his lips.

"What are we doing?" She asked breathlessly, the critical and rational part of her brain waking up enough to make her rethink her actions.

"I must warn you," he whispered as his nose rubbed against her's, his lips coming closer, "the effects of a mind meld are still active. What you are feeling now might not be what you will be feeling later."

"So," her voice almost broke, "what is the logical thing to do?"

"The logical course of action for me would be to remove myself from your quarters and let you rest."

La'an licked her lips, his eyes following every move. "And what do you want?"

"I wish... to not be parted from you."

That was all La'an needed to close the final distance between their lips, Spock meeting her halfway. He kissed her with precission and grace only he possessed, the hand on her back pulling her against him tighter while his other hand enveloped hed fingers into a Vulcan kiss.

The itch under her skin was flaring up again, her nerves on fire as he broke the lip contact only to start placing butterfly kisses at the column of her neck. His fingers were doing something else entierly and La'an was pretty sure just the sight of it would cause many Vulcans to gag at an obviously passionate display. His fingers were caressing hers in what was probably a french kiss or the Vulcan equivalent of such. La'an wasn't Vulcan, she didn't have the nerve ending of a Vulcan woman and therefore, the Vulcan kiss shouldn't have any effect. Except, that kiss was sending bolts of pleasure through her body and making the crotch of her panties become wet more so than what his actual lips were doing.

Her free hand found the edge of his uniform and started tugging it up. In a lightning fast movment, he lifted his arms and threw the shirts away from him. At the same time he took hold of her own shirt, her arms raising up on instinct, and he flung it away from her. He brought both of his hands to her breasts, rolling them in his palms, pinching her nipples and making her moan. He smirked in his usual Vulcan fashion and lowered her onto the bed before climbing on top of her. He kissed her lips, down her neck, across the sternum before flicking his tongue against one of her nipples, her body curving up to meet him halfway. He sucked on one breast while one of his hands played with the other.

La'an gasped, moaned and whimpered as her legs coiled around his narrow waist in an effort to bring him closer to where she needed him the most.

Spock kissed her way down her stomach, the wet kisses he left on her breast meeting the cold air of her cabin and making her shudder. Her fingers wowed themselves into his hair, the strands of it impossibly soft beneath the pads. He looked up at her when his mouth came into the line of her sweatpants,  a silent question clear in his eyes. 'Are you sure?' Without missing a beat, La'an slid her fingers out of his hair and brought them to the waistband of her sleep pants, Spock's own hands helping as hers were shaking, slipping both the sweatpants and her underwear off in single motion.

An air of awkwardness hit La'an as she realized she was absolutely naked in front of her colleague who, at the moment, was busy running his eyes all over her body before locking onto her own. She brought her legs closer together in a self conscious move to close them but strong hands prevented her from doing that. Spock held her legs open as he positioned himself between them, the rough material of his pants rubbing against her in the most delicious way making her buck her hips.

Spock ground his hips against hers, his torso coming to rest against her, his face buried in the junction where her neck met her shoulder.

La'an twisted beneath him, her hands altermating between ripping into the sheets and scratching at the hard muscles across his back. Spock growled and bit her neck, sucking onto the same area which meant La'an would need to get up at lesst half an hour earlier than normal to cover what was sure to be an epic bruise. She slid one of her legs between his, her wet heat rubbing against the rough material of his pants. If she wasn't too far off into the pleasure land, La'an would be embarrassed by the fact that she was so wet he could probably feel it through his pants and that she was effectively humping his leg.

At a particularly loud moan that tore out of her mouth, Spock sat up, breaking the contact between their bodies, his hands immediately reaching for the fly of his pants. The pants were lowered just enough for him to free himslef before he returned to hover over her.

La'an twisted her fingers into the soft material of her bedsheets, her eyes running over his form. He was beautiful , for lack of a better term and he was about to take her, with a rush of arousal she realized she wanted him to take her.

Spock shifted above her, one of his elbow planted firmly onto the mattress, bearing the full weight of his body, as he took himself in his other hand and positioned himself at her enterance. He stoped. "La'an... are you certain?"

Instead of answering him she wrapped her legs around his narrow waist and pulled him into her. At the first contact of hard flesh and wet heat Spock dropped his forehead onto her's, his control hanging by a thread above a very high cliff. He closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling surrounding him and La'an felt a surge of pride that she was the one making him feel this way, the one making him loose all of his Vulcan training.

She wasn't immune to the effect he was having on her either. The way her body stretched to accomodate him was delicious and La'an was aware of tiny gasps leaving her mouth but she was neither willing nor capable to stop them.

She was so lost in her thought she missed the moment Spock's hips came flush against her's. She didn't miss, however, when he pulled himself back, her inner muscles working to keep him inside, before he slammed himself back, making her cry out. He set a gruelling pace, his hips slamming into her, alternating their angle every few thrusts or so, searching for something. It wasn't until a particularly hard thrust that he touched something deep inside her that made her see stars and her upper boddy jolt upwards in surprise. He made a point to do that thing with every single thrust and, sure enough, he had her approaching the curve of what, she was sure, was to be an amazing orgasm.

Spock burried his face in her neck, his own moans almost inaudible compared to her own, the rhythm with which he was moving never changing though she could feel, through the light bond through skin to skin contact, that he was close. He licked her neck and for a fraction of a second she wondered why Spock managed to sink his teeth into it and bite down, hard. The mix of pleasure and pain was too much for her to handle and she tensed up in his arms, crying out his name as she came violently.

She came through few minutes later, the aftershocks still surging through her body, tucked saftly into his side with his fingers mapping the skin of her shoulder. She turned herself towards him, so she was laying on her side, facing him. He had a softest smile on his face, his hair in complete chaos, baby hairs curling slightly from sweat.

"Well... that was unexpected." There was no awkwardness, she realized, her body relaxing completly.

"I disagree. The meld we have shared in the shuttle pulled us together to this very moment. If anything, everything that transpired from that point up until this very moment was... logical."

She rose up on her elbows, the fact that she was completely naked not bothering her in the slightest. "So what your saying is, having sex with me was logical?"

"Indeed. And if I may add, it has been the most incredible feeling."

The smile on his lips grew slightly and La'an realized, a thrill going through her, that he was teasing her. She smacked his chest. "Smooth talker."

He hummed in response, his eyelashes grazing his cheeks as his eyes closed. "I should leave, you need rest before your shift."

"I think that ship has sailed already." She glanced towards the clock on her nightstand. She would need to be up in 2h or so to get ready. "Stay." She whispered, slightly self concious and apperhensive of his response.

"If that is what you wish me to do, then I shall stay." She smiled and lowered herself back onto the bed, slightly moving away from him. A set of strong arms pulled her back into a hard and warm body and La'an let out a laugh as his hands tightened around her. "Sleep La'an." There was no need to tell her twice, her eyes already halfway closed.

"G'night Spock." She mumbled against his chest, his hand tracing a pattern against her back, lulling her to sleep.

She felt a gentle kiss being pressed aginst the crown of her head, a soft voice whispering against her ear. "Good night La'an."

She smiled. And slept.

[musings-from-mars]

I request some Weiss finding out she's on the spectrum after Ruby and Penny... open her eyes so to speak.

((Okay but neurodivergent!Weiss is so underrated and needs more love, thank you for requesting this!

Btw, instead of saying “on the spectrum,” it’s totally cool to just use “autistic,” or “neurodivergent” to be more broad. I’m not sure of the consensus among the wider autistic community, but “on the spectrum” has always felt like a euphemism to me, when there’s no need to dance around the word “autistic,” so feel free to use it! 😊 ))

Weiss wasn’t sure how she’d managed to get roped into hanging out with Ruby and Penny in the Beacon library so often, but with every passing “study date,” she’d become content with just sitting and listening to the two girls talk while Weiss read from a textbook or wrote an essay. Their chatter was great background noise, as Weiss had adapted to living with the rest of Team RWBY by managing to do everything with some sort of chaos going on in the background, and that included schoolwork. She didn’t really engage in conversation during these study dates, as Ruby and Penny were content with her company while Weiss did her best to be academically productive with her time.

Today, however, the topic of conversation tugged at Weiss’ attention. There was usually an intense focus that would overtake her when it came to studying, like she was viewing her crystal clear text book on a blurry background and nothing could breach her attention. But Ruby had said something to Penny that made Weiss’ ears burn:

“Oh yeah, I do that all the time!” Ruby said. “Like, it’s super embarrassing sometimes, but if some asks me about my weapon I’m like BLAGH! Word vomit.”

“Just like how I infodump about bugs,” Penny said with a bright smile. “They are so interesting, especially the kind that fly or are bioluminescent.”

“Yeah! I remember that time you infodumped about fireflies for, like, thirty minutes!”

Weiss looked up from her book and listened to the two for a moment. Infodump? “What’s infodump?”

Ruby turned, her silver eyes lighting up when she heard Weiss chime in. “Oh! It’s a thing that’s common with neurodivergent brains.” She made her point by pointing to her temple. “Something that captures your interest so much that you get the urge to just go on and on about it.”

“Neurodivergent?” Weiss asked.

“Like how I’m autistic,” Penny said with a nod, “And Ruby is autistic and has ADHD.”

“And dyslexia,” Ruby added.

“And dyslexia,” Penny agreed.

“My brain has trouble being a brain sometimes,” Ruby said with a grin.

��Ohhh, okay,” Weiss said with a nod, understanding a bit better now. “So when you, like, talk about Crescent Rose or fairy tales for a really long time, that’s you infodumping?”

“Yeah!” Ruby said. “It’s fun, like...writing an essay, just...saying it as it comes to you.”

Weiss glanced at her dust theory essay to her right. Or, well, her “outline” for her dust theory essay. It was more of just a piece of notebook paper for her to put word vomit while she...

Hang on...

“I think I’ve done that, actually,” Weiss admitted, remembering back to a couple days ago. She had just finished reading a book about dust theory. Not a required reading, but something she just picked up for fun (yes, she is a nerd and Weiss was content with that). Since she knew Pyrrha was super interested in dust theory as well, Weiss went to her and talked all about the book. Pyrrha had listened kindly and bounced questions off of Weiss, but Weiss had pretty much dominated that interaction. That realization really hit her when, after she had finished talking, Pyrrha had giggled and said, “Wow, when you get interested in something, you dive in 100-percent, huh? That’s cool!”

Weiss explained that example, and Ruby’s eyes seemed to sparkle under the library’s fluorescent lights. “That’s exactly what it’s like! Let’s see, uhm...okay, when you’re doing something that you really like, do you focus on it for hours on end without thinking about anything else?”

“Well, yeah,” Weiss said, never having thought much of it. She was just doing that a minute ago, of course.

“But like, hours,” Ruby reiterated. “And you focus so hard you forget to eat or drink or go to the bathroom because you literally can’t think about or do anything else.”

“I mean, doesn’t everyone do that?” Weiss asked with an uncertain shrug.

Ruby simply stared at her in response, her jaw hanging open.

“That actually is uncommon,” Penny chimed in, missing the confused tension that radiated off of Ruby. “What you are experiencing is called hyperfixation. It occurs when your brain locks onto a single source of mental stimulation that triggers your brain’s chemical reward system and maintains that focus for as long as it can in an effort to continue to reap rewards in the form of firing neurotransmitters. This can cause your conscious mind to miss other common bodily functions and signals, like hunger or the need to urinate.”

“You know a whole lot about things you can’t do yourself, Penny,” Ruby said, both as an observation and a compliment.

“Thank you! The organic person’s mind is complicated and fascinating!”

“Yeah...” Weiss agreed, absorbing all the information Penny had just given her, all about neurotransmitters and whatnot. “I do those things a lot, actually.”

Ruby then slammed her hands palms-down on to the table and trained her eyes on Weiss’ with a serious determination. “Does your brain’s immediate response to any form of rejection include an all-encompassing feeling of dread and a blazing hatred of your own existence that makes you want to punch the nearest wall and scream out the nearest window until your heart and/or voice gives out?”

Weiss stared back at Ruby with wide eyes. “I, uhh...” Then two seconds later, she had an answer, and her shoulders dropped along with her face, which settled into a begrudged but well-worn scowl directed in no particular direction. “Yeah. That was my entire childhood.”

“That’s depressing!” Penny said. “And also another common symptom called Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria.”

“It’s like regular rejection,” Ruby said. “Except more sensitive, and dysphoric!”

“I got that,” Weiss said with an understanding nod. “So...what I’m hearing is...I should see a professional.”

“Wrestler?” Ruby asked.

“Mental health professional,” Weiss corrected.

“Oh nice! Maybe you can be brain cousins with us!”

“Brain cousins?”

“ADHD and autism overlap in many ways and are often comorbid,” Penny noted. “But that does not actually make us related.”

“That would be super weird!” Ruby added.

Weiss looked down and nodded. “Okay. You two have given me a lot to think about.”

“Sorry about that,” Ruby said sympathetically.

“No, in a good way,” Weiss assured her.

“Oh!”

[d0llpie]

hey can i request prompt 47 with tanaka also super angsty like i want to cry

Miscarriage

tanaka x reader

Prompt: “i lost the baby”

Trigger warnings: miscarriage, heavy angst, like really a whole lot of painful angst just angst

a/n: thanks for the request, i hope you cry <3 I will be making a part 2 btw

wc: 2.6k part 2

You were arguing with Tanaka, again. It started when he came home around an hour ago, three hours past when you planned a date with him. It had taken ages for you to convince him to go on a proper date since he was always ‘busy’. You needed to tell him you were pregnant, wanted to celebrate with him. Instead you were left with 50 unread messages and Tanaka waltzing in the house as if nothing was wrong. When he came and kissed you on the cheek “hey baby” like nothing had happened you snapped. “Where the fuck were you Ryu?” you stood up from the kitchen bench and begun throwing accusation after accusation at him while he just stood shocked, belittling you for ‘overreacting’ at his ‘simple mistake’.

“Oh you want me to apologize for being stood up? Hm?” You throat felt raw from the screaming, desperately just wanting him to apologize and tell him about the baby so you could make up and move on. Tanaka, stubborn as ever, wouldn’t let that happen. “I never said that, you’re working yourself up, stop stressing yourself out.” His calm tone only irked you even more, he could at least pretend to care. “What were you doing that had you so pre-occupied? Or should I ask who?” he snapped his head towards you, visibly annoyed, at least you finally caught his full attention. “What the fuck y/n? Are you seriously accusing me of cheating because I forgot about your stupid date? You know we can go on a date any other time why are you acting like such a bitch right now? Fuck sake you’re so dramatic.” You fought back the tears in your eyes, slamming your fist down on the table “When was the last time we went on a date- a real one? I wanted to spend some time with you ALONE for once to talk to you, but instead you can’t even tell me why you were soo busy to even send me a text cancelling.” A few stray tears slipped out in frustration, but you continued to glare at him, egging him on further. “I was out with some friends Jesus y/n, why do you have to bring your insecurities into everything.” You were hit with a wave of nostalgia, he’d said that line to you when you started dating in high school.

“Tanaka, hey baby, I was wondering if you wanted to come to my class to eat lunch today, I want to tell you something” You smiled up at your boyfriend as he smiled back “Of course baby! I gotta go to practice, want to come watch?” he pecked your cheek quickly, smiling widely at you proudly “Oh sorry, I have to study for a text next period but I’ll see you at lunch!” his face dropped but the bell rang, signaling your next class “Bye Tanaka!” you waved cheerily as he walked back towards the gym.

y/n: Hi, I’m in my class for lunch now :) see you soon <3

read

You frowned holding the homemade lunch you had wanted to give him. After around 15minutes you realized he wasn’t coming. You went to the gym to see if he was there with Noya, you entered the gym and found them both watching Kiyoko with lovesick expressions on their faces, spewing out compliments profusely. “Tanaka.. hey” he looked over to see you in the doorway “Y/N, hey! What’s up?” you stood there in shock for a minute before clearing your throat “Um can I talk to you?” he looked over at Kiyoko who was ignoring Nishinoya before reluctantly making his way over to you. “How come you didn’t come to lunch” you frowned lightly and he sighed “Its not like you came to my practice either, plus, I was hanging out with my friends, don’t bring your insecurities into this I told you Kiyoko doesn’t like me.” He pouted and you felt your heart clench. “Do you still like her?” you whispered and although he heard you, he pretended he didn’t. You plastered on a fake smile before retreating to the classroom, ignoring his texts and calls for the rest of the day until he brought you a bouquet of roses the next day. It was your first of multiple fights over his obvious crush on his manager. Eventually you got sick of the fighting and sappy make-ups so you just ignored it, knowing he could never have her and was with you because he loved you. Right?

“Fine. I’m sorry for accusing you, I’m not sorry for everything else, why won’t you just fucking talk to me!” The exhaustion from fighting was catching up with you and you began to feel light-headed. “Because it’s not a big deal y/n! Wait-what’s wrong?” you sighed, leaning against the wall “It’s the fucking baby and this stupid fight what do you think.” You spat at him and he stopped thinking for a moment. “Baby?” you looked up to see him smiling nervously at  you “Yeah you’d have known if you hadn’t stood me up.” He pinched the bridge of his nose “we’re having a baby, can you let this go?” you scoffed, done with this fight you stormed up to your shared bedroom, crawling into bed and staying as far from his side as possible. You placed a hand over your stomach, softly crying into the pillow while Tanaka stayed downstairs, opting to sleep on the couch.

Noya: Yoo how’d y/n take it?

Tanaka: she’s pregnant

Noya: oh shit, what’re you gonna do

Tanaka: what do you mean what am I gonna do? Raise a baby I guess, fuck idk man

Noya: that’s tough, Kiyoko is staying at mine😍 pray for me bro🙏🏼😩

Tanaka: lucky, i’m on the fucking couch

Noya: sucks🥶

He sighed before turning his phone off, fuck.

The next day you woke up to breakfast in bed and a very happy Tanaka smiling at you, “good morning, how are my babies feeling?” you wanted to roll your eyes and stay mad but you couldn’t deny the way your heart fluttered when he referred to you and your child as his babies. “good morning ryu..what’s all this?” you were expecting an apology like usual, or at least for him to acknowledge what happened “You’re eating for two now I guess! When’s your next appointment?” he seemed really freaked out so you placed a hand over his “next week, are you feeling okay?” you pressed the back of your hand against his forehead, he felt fine just a little sweaty. “I’m good, want to go out for dinner after work?” you were hesitant but nodded “You’ll come right?” it’s like his mood did a 180 when you said that “What’s that supposed to mean” he spoke through gritted teeth, trying to remain calm and collected. “You know…yesterday?” he scoffed “still hung up on that huh? You gonna berate me for every mistake I make when this baby pops out of you?” you were wide awake now “woah wait, I didn’t say that-“ “you accuse me of stuff, why can’t I do the same?” his tone was growing angrier by each syllable he spoke. You looked down in your lap, feeling your eyes well up with tears again. “Tanaka please stop” you whispered and he snapped “Yeah doesn’t feel great when you just want to stop but they keep going huh?” you don’t even remember why he was getting worked up, because you didn’t want him to stand you up again? You fiddled with your fingers and zoned out while he continued yelling.

You finally looked up when you heard the bedroom door close, breathing in deeply before hunching over as a sharp pain in your abdomen stopped you from making any big or sudden movements. You groaned out in pain, stopping Tanka immediately. Tanaka ran a hand over his head stressfully “are you okay? Shit. Uh, I’m going to call an ambulance” you groaned again “Call Yachi, she can take me I think we need some-“ tears pricked your eyes and you started to sweat “space, I’ll call you when I’m there.” You could see his eyes well up with tears. His hands were opening and closing, wanting to hold you but knowing better than to do that.

Yachi came over shortly after and lead you to the car. Tanaka saw the blood on your shorts and held his breath, letting a few tears roll down his cheeks. You were silent in the car over, crying softly and groaning in pain every few minutes. Yachi looked over worriedly at you, holding your hand and letting you squeeze her hand for reassurance. “Y/n don’t move ill get a nurse to help you out.” You arrived through the emergency section of the hospital and texted Tanaka

y/n: I’m going into the emergency room now

tanaka: okay, let me know what’s happening

He shut off his phone with a shaky breath, deciding to call his friends over.

Tanaka: Noya?

Noya: hey bro what’s up

Tanaka: Y/n’s in the hospital, can you come over?

Noya: What happened? Kiyoko is here man..

Tanaka: Bring her here, I don’t know what happened she started bleeding and crying

Noya: wtf? Did you hit her?

Tanaka: You know I’d never do that. I think it’s the baby…

Noya: We’re on our way, we have whiskey

Tanaka heard knocking and made his way to the door, he opened it to see Noya and Kiyoko there. “Hey, thank you both for coming.” he stepped aside to let them enter “So how’d the break-up go, is she okay?” he looked quizzically at Noya “You didn’t tell her?” he shook his head “sorry, we were watching a movie..” Tanaka looked unamused by Noya before turning to Kiyoko “We started fighting about me hanging with you guys instead of our date and she told me she was pregnant” Kiyoko looked at him disappointedly “You left a pregnant girl?!” it was unusual for Kiyoko to raise her voice but she felt horrible your you, she knew how much you loved Tanaka and she always felt guilty in high school for what you had to put up with, because of her. “What? No! I didn’t break up with her because she’s pregnant but now...I don’t know, she was bleeding and in pain and she’s in the emergency room now..” Kiyoko was restraining from slapping him, digging her nails into her palms. “Why aren’t you with your pregnant girlfriend, it’s bad enough you don’t love her and now this? You know a baby requires actually raising a human?” He dropped his head down, “I know, I already feel horrible…what if something’s happening to the baby?” he sat down on the couch, taking the bottle from Noya’s hand and taking a swig. “You can still raise a baby and not be together…” Noya spoke up, sitting down next to him while Kiyoko turned the tv on. “It’s not fair on you guys or the baby if you stay together.” He knew he was right, he’d been putting this off for too long, he settled for you and got comfortable with the live you showed him that eventually he stopped showing it back. He can’t remember when he fell out of love but he didn’t want to leave you, he loved you still he just wasn’t in love with you. Deep down you knew, you never let yourself think that for long though. Afraid you’ll end up leaving him, Yachi had tried to get you to leave before but you could never stand the idea. Lately it was like you were already broken up, two awkward college roommates. The idea of raising a baby with him scared you, you were so stressed and sick of overthinking that you passed out in the hospital after a few hours, forgetting to call Tanaka.

You stepped out of the car, hesitating to close the door as you breathed in deeply. It was around 4pm the next day and you had just been discharged from the hospital. “Do you want me to wait here?” Yachi asked from the drivers seat, her eyes were red and puffy, she’d been up all night holding your hand and crying with you. “I think it’ll be okay…why is Kiyoko’s car here?” your eyes stuck to the black car in the driveway that you knew was Kiyoko’s “y/n, i’m gonna wait here you should go inside hes probably worried…” you nodded before approaching the front door. Your legs felt like lead as you stepped up to the door, taking your key out and unlocking the door.

“Ryu?” you moved further into the house, seeing a passed out Tanaka on the couch across from a passed out Kiyoko. “Tanaka.” You said a little louder, making him stir.

Noya came into the living room from behind you “hey y/n, how are you?” he looked hungover and that’s when you noticed the empty bottles on the floor. “Hi noya- Tanaka!” you yelled this time, waking up both Kiyoko and Tanaka. “Y/n? heyyy, how was the hospital?” he yawned and sat up groggily, rubbing his eyes. You wanted to run to him and hold him, but you stopped yourself, trying not to focus on how tight your chest felt and the tears building up in your eyes again. “Y/n?” you heard Kiyoko’s soft voice from beside you and you broke down into tears, she caught you before you fell and moved you to the couch, rubbing your back. “I lost the baby.” You continued to cry as the other three in the room sat frozen. “Y/n, i’m so sorry, i’m so so sorry, I’ll come back later but I think we should go…Noya?” Kiyoko hugged you tightly before grabbing Noya and exiting the house.

Tanaka was silent, tears rolling down his cheeks. “What happened y/n?” he avoided looking in your eyes “they said it was because of stress…Tanaka I can’t take this anymore..” you sniffled looking in your lap. He looked up to see how tired and broken you looked, feeling his heart clench. “Y/n, I swear Kiyoko and Noya came over to hang out, I don’t have feelings fo-“ “It’s not about your feelings for her, it’s about your feelings for me…I need you to be honest” he gripped your hand, his lip quivering “I don’t want to lose you y/n…” “You aren’t in love with me Tanaka, i’m not stupid” you chuckled softly, rubbing the rest of your tears away. His silence said enough and so you stood up. “Y/n, don’t go” you scoffed “you can’t keep doing this to me, making me stay with you like this” you commended yourself on the way your voice didn’t waver. “I know, I know, but I-“ he stopped himself, knowing he couldn’t stop you. “I still care about you, I always will.” You nodded, cupping his cheek softly “I know baby, I love you Ryu.”

You walked back outside and sat in the passenger seat of Yachi’s car. You put on some music and she looked over at you before driving away, not asking any questions.

Tanaka sat on the floor of his lounge room, staring into his hands and crying, you were really gone and he couldn’t fix it, it was him who pushed you away anyway. It was him who had to deal with it now.

   a/n: sorry for writing this, i might make a happy ending part 2, send me ideas if you would like to see that <3

[justa-mysticmess]

mc’s attempted forced engagement

submitted by @manacharlotte​

hello!! thank you for your lovely request, and sincere apologies it took so long for it to be posted :) i think i might be getting back into the swing of things now though ^^;;

sorry it’s so long btw! some of it also became repetitive but, i did my best ^^;;  hope you like it!! enjoy! xoxo

.

jaehee

it had been easy for mc to open up to jaehee, likely because their relationship had been based off of strong friendship and respect

also because jaehee was such a quiet person and a great listener

in fact, mc felt they had opened up to the other too soon

however, when they were kidnapped by one of their father’s loyal and unfortunately talented henchmen, jaehee was glad that mc had confided in her about their forced engagement beforehand because otherwise, jaehee wouldn’t have a clue as to where to start looking for mc

she wasn’t surprised that she didn’t even need to convince the other members of the rfa, but what did surprise her was jumin’s investment in finding mc

it made her feel warm that her ex-boss cared about her and her s/o this much despite them having rejected his offers to work for him

with jumin joinining in the search for mc and his many resources which he wasn’t shy to use, they were able to not only track mc’s whereabouts (they were kept locked up in their father’s mansion in a rural setting), but due to 707′s unparalleled research and hacking abilities, they were able to get a lot of info on mc’s father, his business dealings, and family background

707 also went so far as to research all about mc’s fiance and any flaws or shady areas in his family business or background

they all showed up to mc’s father’s mansion, and jumin ensured they did so in style

jaehee was surprised that even v took time out of his busy schedule to join them, and both him and jumin posed as her guardians of sort

with an impressive entourage that included a rising idol, a modern-day prince, a celebrated photographer, and well settled youths, jaehee knew they made heads turn, and she knew she was the envy and desire of many a high-society people

that wasn’t what she was interested in, and she knew neither was mc. however, to sway mc’s father, this was all very important

they were received well enough- rich people had traditions and protocols to stick to after all, if for nothing else then for appearance sake

they weren’t allowed to see mc, and jaehee was seething on the inside, but she kept a calm and professional facade

they were invited to have traditional style tea with mc’s parents, and jumin smartly led the conversation towards business

jaehee, having had more than sufficient experience working with jumin, and then running her own cafe with mc, easily joined the conversation and she could tell how impressed the old man was, although he didn’t outright say anything

mc’s mother on the other hand, looked fondly at jaehee and commented about how smart and experienced jaehee is especially for being so knowledgably at such a young age. jaehee tried not to let it get to her head, but she knew her face was warm

they stayed a week, only seeing mc at dinner time where everyone was to come dressed formally, and mc took every chance to sit next to jaehee and talk to their friends. it warmed jaehee’s heart and also pulled at her heart strings to see that mc had become so lonely in the few days apart that they tried to drag out dinner as much as they could, because as soon as their plate was empty, they were chaperoned back to their room. like a prisoner

it was v and 707 who revealed not only the failing business of mc’s fiance’s family business, but also their overall bad decisions which had led their company to be in debt now. money was the only reason they wanted their son to marry mc

mc’s father was horrified and at first blamed them for trying to ruin his business deal, but v calmly reiterated that even if the wedding happened, only the fiance’s family would benefit from their business and would soon run mc’s father’s business into the ground too

it was 707 who decided to open up about his research into the family business and told mc’s father that his business was struggling too and he needed to be careful with his deals

the engagement was broken off that very day by mc’s father, and they were allowed to at least roam the mansion freely, however, the job wasn’t done

they still ad to convince mc’s father to accept jaehee’s proposal, which they had yet to put forth. mc’s mother overheard some part of their discussion, and she was down for it. she told them a weakness even jumin hadn’t considered yet

just remind him his business, family, and mc would be looked down upon and questions would be raised about the sudden end of the engagement. and remind him that to show their was no weakness on his part, mc needs ot be married off or at least engaged again as soon as possible, she had told them with a knowing smile

they were grateful for the advice and knew what to do after!

touching all his pressure points at the next dinner, where he looked haggard already about the sudden end of a deal which would have sunk his business, jumin put forth jaehee as a candidate for mc to be engaged to

they were expecting for it to take at least a couple days for him to give them a response, so everybody was pleasantly surprised when mc’s father agreed to the proposal by the end of dinner!

jumin

the moment he returned to the penthouse and the staff were in a disarray, his first thought was that elizabeth 3rd had escaped again

he did feel frantic, but not so much as he once would have, assured that his cat wouldn’t have gone too far or for too long

but the moment the butler informed him that mc had left to go get some groceries hours ago and never returned, he heard sirens go off in his hed

he first called 707 to start immediately tracking mc, and secondly called v

he was secure enough in their relationship that he knew what happened to v and rika wasn’t what was happening to him and mc, but he needed his friend’s support

someone had taken mc, and he would find them and make the fools suffer by throwing them in jail

707 had mc’s location within an hour, and the three left immediately

only once on the way did jumin remember to inform jaehee and put her in charge till he returned, feeling some pity for the poor woman because she would be worried too despite being too professional to say anything outright

they tracked mc to a warehouse on their father’s land where mc was being held hostage, according to 707′s deductions probably because they attempted escape again

saying that jumin was livid at the information was an understatement

jumin didn’t waste time in having the warehouse surrounded by his security team and within half an hour, mc’s father came with a team of his own

seeing who it was, mc’s father’s temper immediately calmed down and he became almost jovial with jumin, who remained icy because of the man’s treatment of mc

it was v who turned on his charm, and handled the situation so it wouldn’t get worse

mc’s father invited them for tea to his favourite teahouse, and jumin joined very reluctantly, only after leaving 707 at the warehouse to ensure mc was safe and wel-looked after till he could come back

once at their destination, jumin wasted no time in getting to the point

“break off mc’s engagement with whomever you’ve arranged it. mc and i want to get married, and i want it possible without any... inconveniences,” he said it with a straight face and a controlled tone, trying very hard not to erupt at mc’s father. after all, he would be his father-in-law one day, and mc probably wouldn’t appreciate him disrespecting their father

v just calmly handled the situation as mc’s father spluttered at the sudden declaration and demand

they didn’t have to worry, though- it was clear that out of any bachelor’s mc’s father had been interested in, jumin was on a whole different level and class

jumin, v, and 707 went back home a couple days later, and they took a newly engagement-free mc with them, soon to be engaged to jumin in an extravagant celebration 

saeran

it almost doesn’t come as a surprise when mc vanishes on him- after all, how can good things last for him?

however, he’s been working on getting better, thanks to mc, 707, and even rfa, although he still holds an uncalled for grudge against them

fighting the internal negative-talk playing in his head, saeran immediately contacts 707 about the situation and his suspicion that mc might be in danger, right before putting his own hacking skills to use

it’s just something to fall back on at this point and comforts him to know that saeyoung will be looking out for mc too in case his own emotions get the better of him

he finds the general area mc is being held in, but  leaves 707 to hack mc’s exact location in favor of hacking their mobile and calling them

their phone has been altered and cut off to prevent calls, but saeran is grateful that the idiots left the device with mc so he is still able to hack past those blockers

707 drives them in one of his racecars, going for speed and stealth, while saeran continues to track the signals and try to call mc

mc’s voice on the other end is a bit confused, and also very hoarse. they must have been crying or screaming

he quickly asks mc if they’re okay and who the hell dared to kidnap them.

mc speaks in a hushed tone but he can hear the relief and excitement in their voice as they tell him that in was their father’s men who kidnapped them in order to force them into an arranged marriage

mc also tells him that the place is well guarded from the outside but that they are locked away alone in some sort of dark room as punishment for breaking off the engagement and not agreeing to marry

saeran’s heart breaks but more than that he is pissed. he wants to make mc’s father and fiance’s family suffer, but mc quickly tells him to not hurt their family or parents

“just get me out and away from here... i never want to come back here but i don’t want anyone harmed either”

it makes him smile to hear that mc didn’t even think twice about asking him to come pick them up from wherever they were, saeyoung seems to have heard it and also looks proud

“don’t worry mc! we’ll get you outta there in no time! you just stay put and ready!, he calls out in a loud and carefree tone, but saeran can see the tightness around his eyes from here. good, he thinks. saeyoung is also angry on behalf of mc

they reach just as the sun sets but wait till midnight, when the guards change shifts all over, to break mc out

having been given the exact of the change, and the general locations of guard placement, and the general layout of their family vacation home (because that is where mc figured out they were being held when saeran told them the general area of their location), both brothers break mc out within 15 minutes, and they are on their way out and away before someone even figures out mc is missing

out of a sudden bout of boldness and a mix of adrenaline, saeran proposes to mc on the drive back tot he city in their get-away car, and mc blushes and splutters and agrees even as saeyoung throws his head back and cackles, proud that his twin finally made this decision

saeyoung/707

it honestly took saeyoung a lot later to even notice mc was missing

it wasn’t that he didn’t pay attention to mc or didn’t care, but mc also generally kept to themselves, especially while he was busy doing his regular work

when he finally got done with his work for the day, the first thing saeyoung noticed was the absolute silence

he checked his texts and saw the last thing mc had texted him was a cat video from last night

saeyoung decided to call mc and see where they were at and if they want to have a midnight snack for dinner

when the call wouldn’t connect, he immediately knew something was wrong and started hacking into their device in order to reach out and track, but before that remembered to shoot off a text in the rfa group chat to see if mc was hanging out with one of the members

when the call connected, he was already anxious because tracking the device showed mc was far away at this point

mc’s voice was hesitant and confused on the other end, but saeyoung still sighed in relief because he knew they were unharmed so far

what he wasn’t prepared for was the knowledge that it was mc’s own family’s bodyguards who had tracked and kidnapped them in order to take mc back and continue on with their forced engagement

hearing this, he froze up for a moment- on the one hand, he couldn’t give mc much and if they were married off to this rich fiance, mc would have an easy life and be taken care of

on the other hand, he knew he loved and cherished mc and fully understood that mc loved him back

before he could think about what to do in this situation- to be selfish or ensure mc’s future, mc’s voice broke him out of his stupor: “saeyoung, come get me right away. i can’t do this... especially now that i’ve found you”

they didn’t sound defeated or frightened, instead, he was proud and happy to hear the note of determination in mc’s voice

thanks to mc’s words, his choice was already made for him

he took v to mc’s family home the veyr next day, both of them arriving in style- v having pulled all the stops for the first time to impress someone with his appearance and wealth

it warmed saeyoung’s heart to know that v did it for him!

with an impressive and reliable person like v posing as his guardian, and saeyoung managing to charm mc’s parents thoroughly with his humor, wit, and success at a young age, it was relatively easier than they’d expected to sway mc’s parents and get their blessing for saeyoung to marry mc 

v/jihyun 

the whole fiasco with rika and her past role in v’s life meant that mc found an opening to tell v early on in their relationship about the forced engagement they had run away from

v had been nothing but understanding and supportive, even reassuring mc that if it came down to it, or even if mc just wanted to speak to their family, he would arrange it for them and accompany them

mc was thankful for the gesture but hadn’t wanted to reach out to their family yet, still feeling betrayed by their parents for trying to push them into that relationship

so, he immediately noticed when mc went missing, especially because they had a habit of updating him about their whereabouts when mc and v were  away from each other

immediately employed 707′s help to contact mc as their mobile was being blocked

v, jumin, and 707 were already on the way to where the tracker was showing mc’s current location when 707 managed to connect the call to mc

despite being worried sick, v talked to mc calmly and ensured they were unharmed and in good health 

asked mc if they could stall their parents and the engagement till v got there before mc could tell him what had happened

could feel mc’s instant relief that he understood their position and was on his way to them

when they reached mc’s family manison, they were given vip treatment because of jumin’s status, v’s fame, and seven’s apparent wealth

still, they weren’t able to see mc’s parents till dinner that night, but v did not waste any time

despite mc not being allowed to join them all for dinner, which v assumed was as punishment for running away and not agreeing to the arrangement, v managed to remain civil and pitch his proposal

he straight up confessed to being mc’s lover and wanting to get their parents blessings for marrying mc

their parents were a bit surprised, but didn’t hesitate for long to agree

the four of them left mc’s family mansion a week later, along with the rest of the rfa members, after having just celebrated v’s and mc’s engagement

yoosung

yoosung returned home late, as usual, since he had internship at jumin’s office right after classes

mc was a busy person too but they would always be home when yoosung returned from his internship

he immediately felt something was wrong when he saw all the lights were out and everything seemed untouched

becausse even if mc went out, they would come home from work in order to freshen up before leaving with friends or going out on their own

but there was no sign of them having returned at all

not wanting to panic for no reason, yoosung checked his messages to first see if mc had sent any text telling him they would be coming home late or something

sure enough, there were no texts 

BUT there had been a miscall around 3 hours ago!

now a bit worried, yoosung immediately tried calling them back but the call would’t connect

finally panicking, he did thoughtlessly called his boss in a frantic worry

jumin was less than impressed at having been called at this time of night but he understood yoosung’s situation somewhat. he calmly told yoosung to ask seven to track mc’s phone- if the device was with them, it could still be traced even if it was shut off

yoosung thanked him before calling seven

seven had mc’s location under 10 minutes, but when he told yoosung of the area, he felt a bit shocked and scared

he remembered that was mc’s hometown! if mc was there, then something horrible must have happened to theri family, or there must have been some other emergency!

jumin reluctantly allowed yoosung to take jaehee, because he understood this was a delicate situation and did care for mc as a member of the rfa and a friend. hearing of the situation, zen came along for protection and offering any help

when they reached the location, thanks to seven guiding them through call, they were shocked to see that mc came from considerable wealth

they were allowed inside after they introduced themselves as mc’s friends and they were invited into a fancy sitting area and served tea

jaehee commented that the house seemed pretty tranquil so it probably wasn’t an emergency reason that mc had come here, but that it was odd that they hadn’t come to see them yet

almost as if on cue, mc rushed in just then, breathless and looking a bit wild

yoosung froze up seeing them in such a state, but zen was on his feet immediately and steadied mc

upon seeing the three of them, mc calmed down a bit and took a moment to collect themself

it was jaehee who took mc’s hands and held them between hers till mc stopped shaking

“i thought i’d never see you guys again”

it broke yoosung’s heart to hear mc say that, their voice hoarse as if they’d been screaming or crying

then it hit him. “you mean you didn’t come here on your own mc?!”

mc flinched and jaehee told him to lower his volume just as zen grabbed his shoulder in support and warning

mc composed themself and shook their head. after looking about to make sure nobody else was there, they leaned forward and whispered that their family had basically kidnapped them to continue the engagement they had run away from

zen offered to break them out of there, but yoosung was looking livid

before mc could reply, yoosung spoke up instead, “hey, zen? hold that offer”

he got up and headed for the sitting room’s entrance, when jaehee asked him where he was going

“to talk to mc’s parents. if they reject my proposal, we’ll break mc out”

zen laughed, feeling immense pride at yoosung taking such a stance, and jaehee was pleasantly surprised

mc watched yoosung walk out, feeling proud and a bit bad because they knew that the four of them would have to make a run for it after all. but it warmed their heart to see yoosung ready to confront their parents for mc’s sake

zen/hyun

zen and mc had taken the rare opportunity for privacy to spend time together

they went out for a pleasant stroll on a pleasantly chilly evening 

they’d actually been about to go home after a lovely night out and were nearing zen’s bike when it happened

they were surrounded and mc dragged away from him

despite being outnumbered, zen got a few hits in, and received the end of a punch, but that didn’t stop him

he was on his bike and chased them to the outskirts of the city, but hsi bike soon ran out of gas and the van drove off with mc trapped inside

he felt frustrated and heartbroken wanted to scream as he picked up mc’s cracked cell phone from the ground

but before anything, he called seven

he couldn’t get used to technology easily and so he normally didn’t like it too much, but he was grateful for seven being on their team especially now

since zen was used to memorizing lines for his roles, he had actually managed to memorize the number plate of the car even in the relative darkness

he gave all that information, trusting that seven would find them, and moved the the side of the road in hopes of an empty taxi

seven told him it was bets to come back, regroup and then leave, but zen wasn’t having it

so, he was pleasantly surprised when seven drove up to him in less than half an hour, with yoosung in tow

“you’re so troublesome you know that?” he said, but zen could tell he didn’t mean it

yoosing was just frantic for mc’s safety and informed zen than jumin was sending a security team to go with them

ever since mc had come into his life, zen had managed to mostly smooth things out with jumin, because mc was also friends with jumin. although he sometimes still thought the man was a jerk.

it wasnice to know that he cared for mc too and sent security

seven moved to the backseat of his car and told zen that he would drive, “since i’ll be tracking those kidnapper’s van” he explained

sure enough, the promised security guards arrived in a black minivan just as zen got into the driver’s seat

they reached the mansion mc was being held hostage at just as the sun started to rise. it was massive, but zen was occupied with thoughts of how he’d mess up the face of whoever plotted this right after he had mc safe and sound with him

seven let out a low whistle before dropping another bomb on them- “this is actually the place mc grew up in!”

zen blanched just as yoonsung exclaimed “but what kind of kidnappers bring you to your house?!”

knowing mc wasn’t really on good terms with their family for some time, zen didn’t feel completely relaxed yet, “let’s find out”

the three of them emerged, immediately flanked by jumin’s security team

they were immediately approached by a stern looking man dressed in a black suit, asking who they were and what was their business there

seven reacted with his usual lack of tact (which surprisingly always worked) and claimed that they should be ecstatic that a famous star was visiting them

although zen appreciated what seven was doing, he didn’t have patience right now. he needed to make sure mc was alright. but before he could demand anything, he felt a sharp pain in his leg and looked down to see yoosung pinching his thigh without even looking at him

by then, the man looked the three of them up and down, his gaze lingering on zen, before taking in the security detail

he let them through, noticing that they were probably important people, and a butler opened the mansion doors before they could even knock, welcoming them inside

they were given vip treatment, and allowed to keep a guard each with them

they were allowed to freshen up before being taken to meet the head of the household, who they knew now would be mc’s father

the man immediately recognized zen, and was further impressed by their obvious wealth and status considering the cars they had arrived in and the security they had brought with them 

after chatting with them for a bit, during which zen barely held himself back from demanding mc’s whereabouts, the father asked them, “i am confused as to what business fine, accomplished young men like you came here for” 

not being able to wait any longer, zen spoke before seven or yoosung could, “we’re here to get mc”. when mc’s father simply raised a brow, zen continued, “i’m going to marry mc. and i was quite upset when they were kidnapped on our date”

“hm? i did hear the man with mc put up quite a fight”

zen could feel poor yoosung sweating bullets by the now since the turn of the conversation, but he could also feel seven’s resolve from next to him.

“where are you holding mc? they better be unharmed.”

the man scoffed, “i would never harm my child. or let them harm themself,” he added with a look aimed at zen

instead of responding to the jab, zen grit his teeth “i will never let you take away mc’s choice. i won’t let you do this to them”

if the words had any effect on the man, they couldn’t tell, 

but the moment he was about to press a button, seven caught him. “if you do that, i will leak all your business weaknesses to your rivals,” he said brightly

zen almost laughed at the man’s face changing colours

before the situation could escalate further, he decided to take a slightly different route- after all, he wanted to be a partner mc could be proud of and make sure he didn’t burn any bridges with mc’s family

“listen. you’re mc’s father. i don’t want to cause you any harm. and if your information gets leaked, it will be hell for you. i actually want to do this peacefully. when mc was first taken, i feared the worst! i was ready to do anything. that still hasn’t changed. i’m not leaving without seeing mc. and if they want to go home with me, i’ll do everything to make that happen”

in the end, zen didn’t know if it was because he was impressed by zen’s earnestness and devotion to mc, or because he believed mc would listen to him, but mc’s father did allow the three of them to meet them

mc hugged him so fiercely that for a moment he forgot everything else. but then he was reminded that mc had missed him and longed for him just as much as he had missed them

after checking for their physical wellness and making sure they hadn’t been crying too much, he asked mc if they wanted to go home

he honestly thought mc’s father would throw a fit or start some drama, but the man actually allowed them to go, even if he looked reluctant

it was a week later, when zen and mc were curled up on their couch back at home, that mc got a text from their father saying that he would like to take care of the expenses for their engagement and that he hoped they had better times ahead

[jaskiersvalley]

Ok so this is an idea that's been plaguing me but couldn't find it in fic anywhere. Feel free to not write it btw, I just had to share it with SOMEONE. Anyway, imagine a de-aging curse that wears off gradually and in the process, the cursed individual gets older. Like, aging years in a night while staying mostly the same during the day. Imagine the angst potential of Jaskier meeting a pre-Blaviken Geralt who's chatty as fuck. Imagine him meeting Geralt who's just heard of the sacking of KM.

You. I love the way you think. Because this is an idea that I had been toying with about three fandoms ago but wasn’t writing at that point so it never came to anything. Now you come along and reignite the spark. Thank you for the excuse to write it!

CW for injury and past abuse (of the witcher trials kind)

If Only Every Day Was A Birthday

In the grand scheme of things, it was a dumb as fuck thing to do. A ring of toadstools had cropped up on the doorstep of Kaer Morhen one winter morning. Naturally, it was Jaskier who found it and decided that this was within his skill set to deal with, primarily in the form of charming the fae with his songs, charm and overall delightful existence. Even worse, it worked. The witchers watched him chatter away with their less than desirable guests, filling a whole morning with stories, songs, poetry and even a few cruder jokes. In the end, Jaskier talked about birthdays and how sad he was for his witchers that they had forgotten when theirs should be celebrated.

“We wish to reward you for your time,” the fae crooned, getting ready to leave.

“Oh thank you but I couldn’t possibly accept. I have everything I need to make me happy right here.” Jaskier shot Geralt a soft glance.

“Very well. Your reward can be transferred. May the birthdays be as good as you described.” Just like that, the fae melted back into their realm and the toadstools withered.

Looking around, nothing had changed so Jaskier shrugged. Maybe the fae were mistaken or their reward was something like a cake being delivered on a certain day. Cake was always good, Jaskier hoped it would be chocolate. If only the gift had been a simple cake. Nobody was any wiser until the next morning.

“What the fuck?!” Lambert’s shriek was heard throughout the keep and everyone rushed to him in a panic.

In the hall where they had a tendency to gather after dinner, there was a child sleeping in Geralt’s chair. The very chair he had fallen asleep on in fact.

“Where’s Geralt?” Jaskier asked, a sinking feeling in his gut.

The child stirred and blinked sleepily up at the men peering down at him. Brown eyes, brown hair but the features were familiar despite the changes.

“Fuck.”

Child Geralt was chatty as anything. He happily followed them all around, was inquisitive and playful. Jaskier watched him beg Eskel to throw him in the air again or for Lambert to spin him. Even Vesemir was approached with a request to read him a story for an afternoon nap. Maybe the fae were onto something, Geralt had needed a break from everything and if this gave him a chance to enjoy life, Jaskier wouldn’t dream of begrudging him a few days.

Only, it wasn’t just a few days. It was all fine for the first few days. Eskel especially seemed happy to dote on Geralt, carried him around on his hip and even showing him how to cook things in the kitchen. Truthfully, Jaskier was a little enamoured, especially when he walked into the kitchen to see Eskel had Geralt sat on the counter, a whisk clutched in tiny hands as it was licked clean diligently.

If only things could have been so simple. Nobody expected Geralt to wake up on the third morning in tears, crying out for his “mama” and rushing around the keep, trying to find her.

“It took him a while to settle here,” Vesemir said sadly. “He was loyal from a young age.”

Each day, Geralt changed a little, grew older. A tension settled around the witchers that Jaskier just didn’t understand. On the whole, after that one day of Geralt tearfully looking for Visenna, he seemed to settle. A little quieter but still bright eyed and eager to please.

Then Geralt woke up with a black eye, a gash across his arm and looking generally miserable.

“Training.” That was all Lambert had managed to grit out before he stormed out. “Means he’s about eight.”

A birthday a day. Jaskier swallowed at the realisation and the knowledge that it was his fault. He watched from the sidelines as Eskel patched Geralt up, brought in a cloth packed with snow to put over the bruising. In a way, Jaskier envied Lambert and the fact he could just storm off to deal with his emotions. It wasn’t a luxury Jaskier was afforded. This was all his doing and he wasn’t a coward to run from his mess.

The next day the bruising and the cut were gone. However Geralt was timid, especially around Vesemir, kept his eyes to the ground. The only one who could coax a smile from him was Eskel. Not even Jaskier’s singing and attempts to pull Geralt into activities seemed to do much. That night, Geralt went to bed and the others sat in a heavy silence around the hearth.

“He’s what, 10 tomorrow?” At least Lambert had come back but he was no less agitated. If anything, he seemed to avoid Geralt at all costs. “I really hope this spell wears off tomorrow.”

The spell didn’t wear off. A bloodcurdling scream signalled the fact Geralt was awake. As one, the witchers were rushing to the room he had been given considering he didn’t remember his own and Jaskier couldn’t face leaving what had been their shared room.

“Don’t go in,” Lambert had warned but it was too late. Jaskier had peered into the room and blanched. There was blood. So much blood. Eskel was sat on the edge of the bed, holding Geralt down who was crying red tears, fingers flexing, trying to fight off the grip so he could claw at his own face. A foot caught Eskel in the ribs and he grunted but didn’t let go of Geralt.

There was hope in Jaskier that maybe the pain would last maybe a few minutes. At worse, an hour. He was proven wrong when the gurgle screams and cries lasted into the afternoon. Not once did Eskel leave him. It was only as midnight came that silence fell across Kaer Morhen once again. That night, Jaskier stayed outside Geralt’s room, the sheets had been freshly changed from filth sodden to something cleaner. The Lambert had dragged Eskel to his room and Jaskier was grateful he didn’t have witcher hearing. Even his human ones could pick up on the dry sobs coming from the room.

In the morning, a yellow eyed but still brown hairs Geralt greeted them with his arm in a sling. As Jaskier made conversation with him, he could hear Vesemir’s murmur of “one down, four to go” and that was the most chilling thing Jaskier had heard.

Sure enough the next day was more choking screams. Eskel looked haggard and they didn’t even snap at Jaskier to get out. Even though Vesemir tried to give Geralt potions to numb him or even knock him out, they didn’t seem to work. Three days of torture. On the second day Eskel barked at Lambert to take over and he hurried out. Each night found not just Lambert and Eskel curled up but Vesemir and Jaskier also ended up in the pile. It wasn’t a pile borne of good moods and love though. Some nights Jaskier watched the witchers, they all looked lost in their own heads, hollow and haunted. It wasn’t a good look on any of them.

White hair on a young teenager looked odd. But Geralt didn’t seem too fazed by it, he looked almost proud when he next woke up coherent. He was also a lot more inclined to tussle with Lambert and Eskel, gleeful in their battles. Even when he woke up with broken bones, on one memorable morning a locked jaw, he still seemed in good spirits. On the surface, the others were too but more than once Jaskier had walked in on Lambert and Eskel looking downtrodden.

“I’d forgotten how bright he was,” Vesemir said, leaning against the wall next to Jaskier while the others were engaged in some kind of strange wrestling that seemed to end up with Lambert and Geralt teaming up against Eskel and tickling him until he was on his knees and laughing while begging for mercy. “The Path had not been kind to him.”

It was an understatement. Watching Geralt grow up and become a witcher was difficult enough. To see him each year, sometimes cocky and sometimes lean with a spark of fury burning through him was fascinating. Until he woke up sullen and quiet. Still a young man but so much more like what Jaskier knew.

“I should have been there,” Geralt murmured and looked at the other witchers. “We’re all that’s left.”

That evening was somber, Geralt leaning heavily against Lambert’s shoulder as they drank.

“It doesn’t get easier,” Lambert murmured darkly. “But you learn to live with it.”

The next day Geralt seemed better but the others were clearly suffering, unable to shake everything that each of Geralt’s birthdays was bringing up. And just when Jaskier thought things couldn’t get any worse, they did.

Things had been going vaguely okay in their own way. Injuries, aches and pains came and went. Until Geralt woke up and didn’t get out of bed. He was scarily thin, looking worn and in pain on a level beyond physical.

“Renfri,” Eskel had muttered and, without another word, slipped into Geralt’s bed, curled up behind him.

“The year the whole Butcher of Blaviken shit went down, Geralt didn’t come home for winter. Never did tell us where he went or what happened.” Lambert cast a look into the room where Eskel was holding a shaking Geralt. In the end, Vesemir brought them up food and drinks, a second serving for Geralt when he saw how emaciated he was. Everyone ended up curled together in Geralt’s bed that night, quietly grateful that Geralt did actually come back from that disaster.

Not that the next several days were much better. Gone was the cocky, confident Geralt. In his place was a ghost. He ate, he replied is spoken to but stayed out of the way. Lambert was the one to track him down to any hiding place and try to forcibly draw Geralt out.

“It’s what I wish I had done all those winters,” he admitted quietly in the dark one night.

When Geralt laughed about a week later, Vesemir looked ready to cry. He hurriedly excused himself to the kitchen and Jaskier followed.

“He’ll be back to his usual soon,” Vesemir said, trying to keep himself busy by starting on dinner preparations - only three hours too early. “It gets better from now.”

“What changed?”

“You came along.”

Sure enough, Geralt slowly blossomed again. Not at all like what he was, he was more thoughtful, much less likely to rise to Lambert’s asinine riling. But he was no longer a storm cloud haunting the halls of Kaer Morhen. Jaskier went from a terse “bard” to “Jaskier” to “Jask” and, in the end, he was “mine” which was a relief.

They lost track of the years, not like any of them knew exactly how old Geralt was. But the last few days of the spell were only trackable by the scars Geralt’s skin bore.

“Do you think it’s worn off?” Eskel asked one morning.

Geralt gave him a funny look. “What’s worn off?”

So probably not. It was another two days before Geralt sat up in the middle of the pile eyes wide and he growled.

“Fucking fae.”

[itevilhag]

And In The End...

CREDITS TO THE OWNER OF THIS GIF.

Spencer Reid x POC!reader [I’m asian so...]

summary:  for the first time in years after that tragic event that took your life and almost destroyed him, Spencer gets to see you again, and as happy he is to see and know you’re here he did wish it was under better circumstances, not when he is on the brink of death. Spencer goes on a journey with the reader on chosing whether he wants to stay or not. 

a/n: this is btw a recreation of the scene with Maeve on season 15, so most of the dialouge included here are taken from there but there are a decent amount that is written by me please don’t hate me it still took me a long time to finish this. Also this is my first S.Reid fic so....

word count: 3.4k!

warnings: SPOILERS! SEASON 15 EP. 10

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“Y/N,” Spencer called, his face contorting out of both confusion, happiness, and surprise as he saw your figure quietly sitting on his couch with your back faced towards him as if you were waiting for someone. For the first time in years after that tragic event that took your life and almost destroyed him he gets to see you again, and as happy he is to see and know you’re here he did wish it was under better circumstances, not when he is on the brink of death. Slowly walking past his body lying on the floor he approached you with a small playing on his lips which only grew wider when you finally turned around.

You had a smile of your own, the smile that had been etched in his brain for years, the smile that kept him going through tough times, your smile. Now standing in front of you, he took in your appearance, though nothing much had changed he still tried to carve everything single inch of your face on his brain. He took note of the way your skin glowed under the sunlight that was cascading down the window, the natural tint of pink that graced your soft cheek, the soft curve of your lips he longed to kiss, you were still the same woman he fell in love with years ago.

Before you even got a chance to open your mouth to greet him, he had already engulfed you in his arms, burying his head deeper into your neck as he clung to you for dear life.

“Well, hello to you too, Spence,” you hugged him back chuckling at his reaction, a smile plastered on your lips. You held him in your arms as tightly as you possibly can as the two of you rock back and forth in each others embrace.

“Y/N, It’s you. It’s really you,” he sniffled onto your shoulder, his voice muffled.

 He finally pulled back from the embrace, letting his hands fall to his side, he was smiling so hard he feels that his cheeks might break “God, I miss you, so much. What are you doing here? How are you here- you’re dead,” he asked, and you can see the confusion in his eyes.

You met his brown eyes, and that’s when you got a good view of his face. His hair was longer, framing his perfectly handsome face perfectly, the shadows under his eyes were more prominent, he even grew a light stubble which you did find utterly sexy, but you have no time for that, he has no time for that.

“I missed you too, Spence, and yes, I am.” you laughed lightly at his remark “So, does that mean that I’m-” a wave of surprise and puzzlement immediately graced his features but you cut him off.

“No, no you’re not dead- well not yet at least,” you answered, as you slowly looked behind him, your eyes landing on his unconscious body on the floor, and you could’ve sworn that you heard him release a sigh of relief, which put a small smile on your lips “You have an intracranial hemorrhage, which is-”

“A bleeding in the intracranial vault, including the brain parenchyma and surrounding meningeal spaces, the overall incidence of spontaneous ICH worldwide is 24.6 per 100,000 person-years with approximately 40,000 to 67,000 cases per year in the United States,” he stated, your brows shot up in surprise and your lips subtlely curled up into a smirk as he cut you off and started to ramble about the statistics behind his hemorrhage “Y/N, my brain is shutting down,” he said, as he looked down to you, his brows slightly furrowed fear enlaced within his voice. But, then it soon faltered once he mentioned brain shutting down.

“Well, yeah, Spence, parts of it are shutting down, it’s struggling to survive. But, you’re still here, aren’t you? This means you’re still fighting,” you smiled lightly, and tried your best to assure him. He gave you a tight-lipped smile and nodded, he shoved his hands in pockets and averted his eyes away from you as he tried to comprehend and understand. Tried to get a hold of the situation that he is in.

“And, it is nice to know that you still haven’t changed since I last saw you. With the rambling and spitting out facts, same ol’ Dr. Spencer Reid.” you chuckled lightly, trying to lighten the tension that had made itself very comfortable surrounding the two of you, and you didn’t fail to notice the surge of pink tint that had spread across his cheeks which is then followed by a sheepish smile on his lips. But you know that he still had questions that he wanted to be answered under that sweet smile that he had plastered on his face.

“Hey, why don’t you take a walk with me? So that we can clarify and talk out some things.” you offered, and stretched your hand towards him, he hesitated for a second and displayed a confused expression, but something in your eyes told him to trust you, so he gladly takes it. You smiled up at him, you led him to the doors of his apartment and the next thing you know is that you two were at the cemetery, standing side by side in front of your grave, with your arm wrapped around his. Looking at the headstone with you right now, made him feel uneasy and torn and it only made the raging fear inside him even worse.

So distracted himself with a question towards you, to temporarily bury that feeling of fear inside.

“So, how are you here? How did you get here? What are you doing here, in my brain?” he asked, turning to you, his brows raised a little to display his curiousness. The words tumbled out of his mouth faster than you can comprehend.

“Okay, hey, Woah, slow down Spence, easy with the questions,” you chuckled “For the ‘how?’, I don’t know- I don’t know how got there. I just opened my eyes and then all of a sudden I was in a random persons apartment, at first I was confused, but as soon as I saw that bookshelf and that desk with all the case files sprawled everywhere, I immediately knew where I was.” you hear a low chuckle rumbled out of his chest, which prompted a smile form you.

“And, as for the ‘what?’ just a small answer, I’m here to help you. ‘Help you make the ‘choice’.‘Cause, this journey will definitely take a toll on tempting you on which way to go.” you said, looking at him sideways.

“The ‘choice’ huh?” he murmurs, and you hummed before uttering out a simple “Yep.”

"Hey, Spence do you wanna know my deepest, darkest secret?”

Looking back at your grave, as the cold winds brush up against your bodies, something came up to Spencer’s mind as it drifted back to that dreadful night once again. There is something he hasn’t resolved yet, with you.

“Let me take her place.” Spencer offered, trying to be careful with his words.

Diane asked her voice rising with a gun pointed towards your temple and a hand looped around your neck.

“You would kill yourself for her?” she pressed the gun further towards your temple.

“Yes,” Spencer answered loud and clear. But Spencer wasn’t careful enough.

“No.” Diane retracted the gun from your temple to hers and pulled the trigger.

“Y/N, I’m so sorry.” he apologized, turning to face you, your brows knitted themselves together as you were a bit taken aback by Spencer’s sudden apology, his voice breaking with tears threatening to fall to his cheek.

“For what, Spence?” you asked in confusion, rubbing small circles on his hand in an attempt to comfort him.

“I let you die. And it’s my fault because I wasn’t smart enough or fast enough to save you.” he averted his eyes towards the grass beneath the two of you, trying to avoid your gaze as he continued to blame himself for your death, which only made your heartbreak even more.

“Hey, Spencer, stop it. It isn't your fault, there was nothing you could've done, and it's okay,” you squeezed his hands in comfort, which made his eyes turn their attention towards you, the side of your lips slightly turned upwards as his teary eyes made contact with your soft ones. An idea came up to your brain, a small smirk eased itself to your lips.

He gave you a curious look and nodded before he responded “Mhm-hmm.”

“I love nineties rom-drams and rom-coms.” you shyly admitted, which prompted and heartily laugh to emerge from the both of you, and hearing his laugh again made your heart soar.

“The cheesier the better,” you laughed "and my favorite was about this angel who gave up his immortality because he fell in love with a human. But they only had one day before she was killed,” you explained softly, Spencer chuckled humorlessly as he saw the connection, he averted his eyes away from you again but kept the smile that’s been with him this whole time.

“I always wondered why that one stuck with me, and then we lived it.” you smiled, you lifted your other hand and brushed it against his cheek and tucked a stray curl behind his ear “But hey, do you wanna know something else?” you asked.

“What is it?” he asked curiously, and you hear a slight eagerness in his voice.

“Transferring to the BAU was probably the best decision I’ve ever made in my entire life,” he only smiled, and his silence signaled you to continue “because it led me to meet the team, meet you. And you, Spencer Reid, Is the best thing to ever happen in my life, with you and your rants that would go on for hours, your ramblings, your facts- gosh even your magic tricks!” you laughed, and he chuckled at that.

“and what honor and privilege it was because I get to spend the rest of my days with, the behavioral analysis unit of the FBI and…with you, Spencer.” you can already feel the burning behind your eyes and the tears that were threatening to be spilled but you tried your best to push them back.

“So don’t you dare be sorry, okay? I have no regrets.” you smiled and he returned it and nodded “Okay.” he brought your hand up to his lips and planted a kiss on your knuckles, the gesture made your heart melt.

“Hey, I know I’ve already said it but, I really do miss you, very much.” he chuckled.

“I miss you too, Spence,” but the bliss soon faded away as someone’s voice- wait no, Diana’s voice called to him.

Spencer.

Both of you were alarmed at the sudden call, which made both of you physically jump slightly, his grip on your hand tightening, his frown made an appearance once again, he looked terrified, and he didn’t even bother to hide it, he wasn’t focused on keeping his micro expression at bay at the moment.

“Well, that’s a very subtle way of telling us that the clock’s ticking,” you commented, you look over to Spencer who was still pretty tense, so you squeezed his hand in attempts to ease him “But, hey, Spence, we still have a decent amount of time together.” you reminded him.

“I need that,” he said, a small smile tugging on his lips.

You carefully looked at Spencer, and then suddenly he became transparent, you saw something in his eyes, something that he’s been holding onto which made your brows furrow slightly.

“Spencer, you’ve been holding onto trauma, a lot of it. But let me remind you something, what sent you on this journey is something different, you’re at a crossroads, and you’ll be tempted along the way on which way to go,”

“Can you help me through it?” he asked a small smile peeking on his lips with hope in his eyes, you nodded smiling lightly.

“But first, I need to tell you something you don’t hear enough of,” you hold on to his hand tightly, hoping that he would understand, you smiled “the world is a good place, Spence, and it’s even better with you in it.” He smiled back, letting your words sink in.

“You ready?” you asked softly.

“Yeah,” he replied.

[[[[[[[[[[[[[ ]]]]]]]]]]]]]

You and Spencer now find yourselves standing hand in hand in front of SSA Gideon’s grave, who you knew was Spencer’s mentor and [sort of] a father figure. Even though you didn’t get the chance to meet him when you transferred, Spencer’s amount of respect towards him says it all, so when his death became apparent, Spencer was the one who was affected the most.

“Why are we here?” he asked you, but he still kept his attention towards Gideon’s headstone “I made peace with Gideon dying.”

“When was the last time you saw him?” you asked softly.

“12 years, 7 months, and 23 days ago,” he recited, his voice firm and steady.

“Oh,” you chuckled “you’re not keeping track of disappointments at all.” you teased, which earned you a smile from him.

“My dad wrote me a note when he left,” he started “Gideon did the same thing. He was the one that convinced me to join the team, and then he left.” he chuckled humorlessly. You on the other hand, absentmindedly squeezed his hand to let him know that you’re there for him, he smiled softly at that.

He sighed heavily, as if he was trying to keep his tears at bay, but based on how his voice started breaking earlier on, he probably was keeping in his tears “All to believe in happy endings, I just- I’m sad he never got one.” he lamented.

“Oh no, he got one,” you laughed as you corrected him, and by the way he looked at you he was left a bit confused “He is obsessed with this octopus named Mildred,” which prompted a genuine laugh from you and Spencer “She was a prankster! And he loves hanging out with an 8 limb mollusk trying to figure out how she became playful and wise.”

When the laughter had finally died, you look back at Spencer again, he had a small smile on his lips, and you know that wasn’t caused by you, and you weren’t hurt by that, you know that Spencer was just trying to understand and make peace with Gideon and his death, and that’s okay.

“She evolved,” he said.

“Yep, Spence. We all have to,” you replied, reciprocating his smile.

[[[[[[[[[[[[[ ]]]]]]]]]]]]]

After your short quiet walk on the cemetery as both of you enjoyed the cold breeze of autumn, you and Spencer found a bench under one of the trees and decided to take a break and just rest. You sat there beside him, with your head on his shoulder and his head leaning on yours, you both enjoyed the peace that the place even though it’s a literal cemetery. While your brain was calm, Spencer’s wasn’t.

Ever since he saw you at his apartment, he was already second-guessing everything. Just being with you right now already tempts him to stay, and he knows that it sounds selfish of him to do because he has friends and family, his mom, waiting for him to wake up, but what if there’s nothing left for him to do there? What if he can just stay here with you? But then at the same time he doesn’t wanna lose what is still there, what he already has, his family and friends, but losing them meant staying with you, and staying with them meant losing you. He was just pretty much torn with everything at this point, and he knows that he doesn’t have much time.

You look at Spencer, and you recognize that look on his face, the distant stare, the deep furrowed brows and you’ve seen it in a lot of people “What are you afraid of?” you asked, and you feel him slightly jump under your touch telling you that he was definitely in deep thought.

“What?” he asked, snapping out of his thoughts as he heard your voice.

“I asked, what are you afraid of? Spence, I’ve seen that look on people’s faces far too many times than I can count,” you chuckled softly “It doesn’t take a profiler- even though I am one to not know what it means.” you smiled lightly, wordlessly encouraging him to voice what is on his head.

“It’s just that, if I die, I’ll let down my mom, the team, and everybody who depends on me,” he answered truthfully, and you hummed slightly before responding.

“Well, family’s resilient, and as for strangers, people were hurt before you joined the BAU, and they’ll get hurt whenever you leave,” you stated.

He chuckled faintly before replying “Guess I’m stuck,”

“More like frozen, from grief,” you see his face fall slightly before he turned away and avoided your gaze “Your father’s physical absence, your mother’s psychological one, me.”

“It’s paralyzing,” his brows furrowed.

“And how do you move through it when you can’t move?” you asked softly.

He narrows his eyes and looks around for a second trying to think “You go back to the beginning,”

“I grew up telling stories about who I was,” he chuckled softly, you sat there smiling softly as you listened “A son, a friend, student, teacher, genius-”

“ A hero.” you finish for him “Spence, you seek and gain approval from anyone. It’s time to stop.” you insisted.  

[[[[[[[[[[[[[ ]]]]]]]]]]]]]

“Y/N, what if my brain’s bleeding out because there’s nothing left for me to do,” he questions, his were furrowed slightly.

“Spence, the world needs you to do what you love, have you done that?” you asked him, he paused, trying to think “I don’t really know…” he responded.

“Sure you do! What do you love?” you asked as you smiled at him.

“I love magic, ghost stories,” he chuckled as he raked through his brain.

“Fiddling with your pen like me? Adding too much sugar in your coffee?” you laughed, which he returned “Go on, what else?” you said, nodding at him to continue.

“Jell-O, Kumquats, teaching, learning, books, hope...making connections, making- making a difference,” he paused to look at you, his eyes filled with sincerity and adoration as you smiled softly while you listened to him intently “you, I love you.”

“Well, that’s a lot to love, Spence. And you can still have years ahead of you, and you can still keep doing the things you love and the things that make you happy. I mean the world is a big place, you can still have places to visit, opportunities to seize, a lot of books to read...people to fall in love with. There is so much you still can do,” you smiled up at him, taking his hand into yours, your fingers interlocking with his own “but that is entirely up to you.”

“Look, there is no wrong answer or wrong choice in all of this, but you have to decide. You can stick around in the blue marble or travel out to the great unknown. It’s time, Spence, what are you gonna do?” he only smiled lightly, his mind finally made up, and stood up bring you with him.

“Dance with me,” he whispered as he brought you closer to him, your hand making its way up to his neck, and his settling down your waist. As you two swayed cheek to cheek, he asked.

“Do you remember our one, and only fight?” he smiled down your way.

“About the world’s greatest poet?” you smirked.

“We were on the phone for like- four hours,” he responded with a smile evident on his face as you laughed at the memory “Spence, you need to find that kind of passion with someone again…”

“But first I need to know if your favorite is still-”

“E.E Cummings,” you answered “‘Whenever you think, or you believe, or you know, you’re a lot of other people: but the moment you feel, you’re nobody-but-yourself” you quoted, a small smile on your lips.

“‘To be nobody-but-yourself- In a world which is doing it’s best, night and day, to make you everybody else- means to fight, the hardest battle that any human being can fight; and never stop fighting” he quoted back, with the tears already falling on his cheeks, he pulled you fully in his arms, your hands came up to lightly scratch the back of his neck, he sniffled as he buried his head deeper on your neck, savoring the last moment he has with you before he goes.

“I love you, Spencer Reid. I’ll always love you,”