#btw i am always open to sharing got meta

[woah-uhuh-uhuh-uhuh]

Christine Canigula was socially ostracized & developed a complex to protect herself: an essay

(suddenly i NEED to infodump about Christine actually so here)

Something I only noticed on rewatch: the way Christine will say something silly and then just kind of gingerly wait to see if Jeremy reacts well to it before continuing, almost like she's asking permission?? (e.g. the gap after the first stanza of "Play Rehearsal"). And it's only after he riffs off her bowling alley bit that she feels comfortable talking about her personal feelings with him (right before "Guy that I'd Kinda be Into"). The same happens with their "weird noise" exchange immediately before "It's pretty killer to sit and chat with you." I know theater relies on being succinct, and that 'bonding over shared quirks' and 'feelings talk' are both just crucial parts of relationship development... but I don't think it's a coincidence that it always goes in that order!

It's like Jeremy has to pass these *trials of weirdness* before she feels safe opening up to him and it drives me BONKERS so I wrote a whole 1000 word thing about it under the cut and this got too massive and I'm sorry. Also some autistic Jeremy meta at the end if that sweetens the pot hehehe

Table of contents:

Why she was ostracized

How she was ostracized

How that might inform her pattern of relationship development with Jeremy and Jake

How gender caused Jeremy's experiences to differ from hers, and how that affects their current relationships with "popularity" and peer acceptance.

1. Why she was ostracized

I am just so certain that Christine has been bullied or at least majorly outcast for a lot of her life. She's very obviously neurodivergent and because of that she can have these obnoxiously deep and repetitive interests, she can't judge if a piece of information will be genuinely interesting to someone, and she doesn't take social cues very well.

She frequently interrupts people when they're talking (an ADHD symptom btw), even when they're literally talking to her about the thing she wants to hear!

(C: "Do you find that? Because I totally find that!" J: "Uh, yeah, I-" C: "-And no matter how hard I try....")

(J: "I know the last thing I deserve is another shot, but-" C:"Jeremy, just... say what's on your mind.") (girl I'm sorry but that's what he was doing..... I have a whole other thoughtpiece on how this particularly fucks with Jeremy while they're dating but thats another thing...)

She doesn't seem confident in her interpretations of people's emotions and she'll ask/talk about them point blank (both theirs and her own) in a way a lot of people would find rude

("Uh, you seem really nervous...") ("Popular people are fucked up! *mutual laughter* …I mean, you're one of them!") ("I am flattered, this is new / still I'm not sure what I should do" <- as a response to getting asked out, that's pretty bold! Plus the entire part where she laughs at Jake's "rich boy routine") (also compare and contrast to Jeremy's "I don't know what I'm supposed to say right now." idk. are your allistic stage dorks in the room with us right now motherfuckers)

I'd go on about her hyperfixations/special interests too but I think Play Rehearsal pretty much sums it up lol

2. How she was ostracized

All this to say that I am CERTAIN she spent a lot of her schooling having "nice girls" patiently let her sit with them at lunch for weeks at a time until they finally get sick of her rambling and faux pas. Only when they leave does Christine realize that they didn't actually care about anything she said... And this happens over and over and over. (I know this seems hella specific but I swear it's an actual phenomenon... at least I'm pretty sure? sdjflksjf)

But anyway, it's clear that by the time they're juniors, Christine has kind of (and I do only mean kind of) figured out what behaviour other people respond poorly to. And from evidence I stated in the intro, I think she's become really careful about which people she lets herself get attached to. She doesn't want this to ever happen again - which means if she's going to hang out with someone, she has to know that they actually care about her, that they know she will sometimes be obnoxious or blunt, and they'll still be okay with that forever.

3. Applying this to her canon relationships

You can extend this to Jake, someone who sees her in her element in drama rehearsal (the thing everyone finds annoying about her because she won't shut up about it) and STILL likes her. I think it's a totally valid reading that her bluntness with him later ("Upgrade") is just because she misreads him / doesn't quite get the social standard that she should be white lying instead. But I think you could also read her as testing the waters. If she's really going to commit to dating this guy, she's gotta know he's okay with her being herself. And the fact that this guy (and I think it's significant that he is a boy, for reasons I'll explain in the end note) genuinely seems to like her is a whole new level of peer validation ("I am flattered, this is new") -- so of course she's gonna fall at least a little! It doesn't hurt that he's "tired of being the person that everyone thinks that I am..." just like her!

Her history with being pity-liked makes Chloe's "advice," that Jake's just toying with her and is going to move on soon, even scarier, because that's genuinely happened to her (on a platonic level) so many times before.

Jeremy is also a good candidate from the beginning because he's weird he's a weirdo he doesn't fit in and he doesn't wanna fit in you ever see him without this stupid cardigan on? that's weird! And she keeps warming up to him not only because they're getting to know each other but because he gets progressively more willing to not only tolerate (as Jake does) but *participate* in her weirdness!

First, she does something weird and he tolerates it ("Play Rehearsal"); the next time she's weird, he participates! (bowling ball before GTIKBI). Then finally finally finally he initiates the weirdness and lets her join in! ("weird noises" exchange before GTIKBI reprise).

And notably, it is THIS moment that canonically signifies that they've hit the apex of their canon relationship development. If there was an achievement called "Befriend Christine," it would have popped up right then and there!!!

IN CONCLUSION: YOUR HONOR I LOVE THEM T_T

4: Christine vs. Jeremy: Gender differences & how that ultimately impacts their social goals

I also think all of this would have happened to Jeremy too if he'd been a girl. But because, generally, young boys feel less social obligation than girls to take pity on the autistic kid (and because boys tend to be more quickly recognized as autistic) he just ends up completely alone for most of his school life (Michael nonwithstanding - and yeah there's an important distinction between your childhood friend putting up with you and knowing that, woah, I guess literally nobody else ever will).

Meanwhile, Christine has had people "put up" with her, and she's SICK OF IT!

That's part of why their complexes are so different, because Christine is trying to check everyone she meets to make sure they'll be okay with her weirdness before she gets attached, Jeremy is trying to eliminate his weirdness altogether because he's never even experienced his peers listening out of *pity* so how the hell can he expect someone to ever listen to him out of *interest?*

Jeremy has never had someone pretend to like him before, so he completely lacks Christine's fear of befriending someone who secretly hates you. He doesn't realize how bad it'll hurt him if he destroys his real self for popularity, if he befriends people who would have bullied his real self. He doesn't know what disingenuous friendship feels like, so like a very young Christine he's still actively trying to get there because he thinks it's the only kind of validation he'll ever get.

Do you see what im saying? Do you see it???? AUAUGUGUUGGH

THANK YOU FOR READING!!! If you have thoughts or even rebuttals please share i am so desperate to discuss the blorbos

[the-obnoxious-sibling]

Do you have aby more shuggy ship headcanons?

Do you to prefer to ship them as having childhood crush or to become involved after meeting again in the future?

i think if there’s anything this last month has taught me, it’s that i am not running out of shuggy headcanons any time soon. 🙃 every single day for the last thirty-three days i have written about these two, either meta posted here or fic written a/o posted elsewhere.

actually, here. pick a file from my shuggy wips folder, and i’ll share a few fun facts or an excerpt, your choice! (this offer is open to anyone, btw, not just this anon in particular)

as to your second question: i vacillate on that, honestly!

on one hand: i like it when two characters are very, very close in a way they have no reason to think is anything but platonic—until abruptly they aren’t anymore. years pass. they make other friends, have lovers, and then, unexpectedly reunited, suddenly have context for the way they felt. looking at someone you last saw when you were fifteen and realizing, oh, the feelings i had for you back then were not friendly—i go absolutely nuts for this. emotional constipation, oblivious pining, whatever you want to call it… especially when they realize those feelings never really went away? and now they have to deal with them?? *chef’s kiss*

on the other hand: kid shanks seems to be fairly emotionally competent? i don’t think he always understands other people super well (especially when, like buggy, they’re trying to hide their feelings from him), but i think he understands himself alright. in which case he absolutely knows he’s got a crush. he’s so affectionate, so clingy… i think he’s got that “i don’t want to ruin our friendship” mindset, though, so he doesn’t pursue buggy. he’s content to just always be at his side.

meanwhile kid buggy’s too caught up in his inferiority complex to recognize any other possible source for his feelings. like, yeah, of course shanks is this bright shining person blinding everyone around him with his brilliance! obviously!! it's very rude of him to do that, i’m trying to shine over here too! what do you mean other people don't see him like that?!

on the mutant third hand: there’s something very funny about taking the complex relationship shanks and buggy have as kids → teens, saying, “okay, that dynamic was weird, not gonna lie, but 100% platonic” and then throwing an “oh no, he got hot” wrench into the works when they reunite as adults.

[flowercrown-bard]

Why is the Roche/Ciri ship always only crap for you all?

Hey, i once read a draco x apple fanfic. I have no room to judge anyone's ship and I don't think I ever did that (outside of private conversations). What i am judging is someone ruining the fandom experience for other people. If you really are as upset and hurt by people hating on your ship as you say, I'm sure you understand why people don't like you hating on their ship. (btw it's hilarious that you sent me hate for rorveth and cirys. Literally the only character included here that i even know is Ciri. If you sent me geraskier hate there would at least be context since i actually ship it, but i have absolutely no opinion on those ships you mentioned. I don't even know them) You've been told by others why they are annoyed by your asks and obviously it has no effect on you, so i won't bother repeating what they've already said, but i do occasionally love hearing myself talk so i wil still write a far longer response than i should So this isn't a hate response, it's a love letter to fandom. So here's what made being in a fandom so special to me:

The support.

Fandom to me is, at its core, strangers sharing their excitement, inspiring each other and admiring what other people do. When i started writing i was so self conscious, i couldn't sleep after posting a chapter because I was so anxious. And i received so much support even for works that are really not that great. There's something so wonderful about cheering others on and getting cheered on. That sort of open and heartfelt support is not something you experience in real life and it made some hard times much better for me. It's incredible knowing that people across the globe collaborate, send each other prompts or getting really excited about something someone else did.

2. The possibility to just…not engage in conversations i don't want to be in.

It's so freeing to have the option to block people of just not respond. There's always some sort of controversy or just some takes i don't like. How wonderful that i can just not look at those things

3. Getting to be creative and knowing it makes people happier

Your fic or art isn't brilliant? Who cares. It's so freeing to create something out of love, for people who love the same thing. I started writing for the first time since i was a child because of fandom. I dabbled in creating fanart (and realised the medium isn't for me, which is also great to find out), i wrote poetry (which I never wanted to do) and badly recorded songs (which i felt so self conscious about). Was it all good? Ha, absolutely not. But i got zo try it out and i wouldn't have done that without fandom. There is no external pressure to be good (or if there is pressure from other people to create and be good, there are always a ton of others telling you why this pressure is unfair and should be ignored). There are no grades, no deadlines. Just the love and joy of creating and sharing your creation. Or not sharing them, if that's what you want. Both is fine and that's the point

4. Seeing people of all skill levels share their works

And all of their art is beautiful and meaningful, no matter if they qre a master of their craft or someone who pickef up a pen for the first time to try out this medium

5. Seeing different interpretations

I don't like many of them but it's so interesting to see how others are interpreting something. That can be anything from the question of who's a top to some in depth meta analysis. People enjoy different things and it's so cool to see what they focus on

6. The people in general. I pretty much left the witcher fandom months ago (i tried writing for it again but it was so hard that I gave up) but through it, i met incredible people, some of who have become irreplaceable parts of my life and i am so thankful for fandom for bringing us together like this. When i was in the fandom, i got to know people are so talented, unbelievably creative, kind, funny, supportive and so many other wonderful things (even those i never talked to directly. If you left a comment on something i wrote or made my days brighter with your own creations, you are amazing and i appreciate you a lot)

Basically, fandom for me was an experience that brought me joy and a sense of community. It's on you to seek out the fandom experience you want to have. If you want that experience to be one of bitterness and hate, I'm really sorry for you. But more than anything I'm sorry for the people who you drag into this by harrassing them even after they blocked you. If you want to stew in bitterness over shipping a rarepair, that's your decision. But if other people want to enjoy the fandom in a more joyful way, then that should be their decision too and you don't get to take it away from them and ruin their love. Because ultimately that's what fandom is to me and i treasure the memory of that love more than I value the opinion of someone who apparently takes joy in trying (and hopefully failing) to take that love away

[wordybee]

#the white book scene still does not sit well with me #(and if anyone wants me to write up an essay on why that is #i will do so at the drop of a hat) - I would love you to do that, please and thank you. (I've read a few takes on why it sucked but I am always ready to hear YOUR take on a thing bc I like your brain.)

I’m sure my take isn’t unique, but I’m full of thoughts and everyone in my life has grown too wary of every conversation I have with them turning into “And Another Thing Wrong with Game of Thrones…”, so I’m gonna just leap on this opportunity granted by your curiosity, Bethany, and damn the retread ground.

Going to tuck it all under a Read More (or try to; I don’t know if Tumblr’s still buggy about Read Mores on mobile) because I, as I said, am full of thoughts.

A huge part of why I don’t like the scene is how it frames everything. Cutting out the books’ version where Jaime writes his own story and acknowledges Brienne for his safe return, then having Brienne essentially save Jaime’s honor by concluding his story with a respectfully worded cause of death, frames the relationship between Jaime and Brienne as significantly more one-sided than it should have been. In the books, there’s clear regard and admiration between the two of them and it’s relatively even. Jaime sees Brienne as a shining example of knighthood and honor and credits her as such where it matters; Brienne sees Jaime as a man of honor despite his reputation and credits him as such where it matters. It’s pretty much their whole thing after their initial ordeal together: this long-distance, chivalrous devotion in which they try to fulfill promised oaths and both of them are simultaneously the noble knight and the fair maiden, in turn defending each other’s honor and being the person whose honor needs defending. They’ve taken it upon themselves to act as shield and sword for each other, and that protectiveness is completely organic and completely balanced in its presentation.

But in the show, Brienne is reduced to Jaime’s cheerleader and the keeper of his legacy, while she herself gets no credit from him, no regard, no significance in the conclusion of his story despite having such a pivotal role in it up to the point where he abandons her. Yes, she’s been raised to Lady Commander of the Kingsguard (which I’ll get into the issues of that shortly) but in the personal and specific relationship between Jaime and Brienne, it’s knocked completely off balance. In Jaime’s last scenes, he has no dialogue about Brienne and Brienne has no role within the context of his remaining story; she isn’t mentioned in relation to him at all, even though it would make perfect sense for Tyrion, for example, to raise a huge “what the fuck” when the last he heard, Jaime was happy to sit out the rest of the war in Winterfell specifically because Brienne was there and suddenly he’s in King’s Landing, ready to die for Cersei. Meanwhile, one of Brienne’s final actions of the show is ensuring that Jaime goes down in history as a knight who died with honor despite the fact that… that was not the case. At all. Jaime died selfish, forsaking the innocents of the city and cutting all ties with everything honorable or noble about himself in order to return to his “hateful” origins and Cersei.

And maybe this is actually the way things go down in the books. I don’t know how (though I do have more theories now after thinking about this damn series far too much) but it’s possible the end of the story for Jaime really is a straight plummet from the peak of the redemption arc he’s been traveling. It’s a cynical end, but not an impossible one.

But regardless, the books at least have the balance between Jaime and Brienne up until that point, and considering that Brienne experiences something of an implied fall from grace in A Dance with Dragons, it’s not improbable that Jaime would further mirror her in his own fall, even if I can’t fully grasp the details of how Book Jaime would end where Show Jaime does. However, the loss of a huge chunk of Brienne’s ASoIaF story and editing out the respect Jaime has for her being made explicitly clear when he takes it upon himself to credit her in his own White Book entry – that all furthers the show’s depiction of Brienne as nothing more than a stepping stone in Jaime’s abysmally cynical narrative. She becomes a way for him to get his good name back after death, even though he doesn’t actually deserve it, and her value stops there.

Here’s the crux of it, though: I don’t like the White Book scene, specifically, because the show wants me to like it. It wants me to ignore all the aforementioned issues I have with the relationship imbalance between Jaime and Brienne, and the discordant show portrayal of Jaime Lannister, and it wants my appreciation for Brienne’s selfless loyalty to let that scene wipe away all my misgivings and accept it as a pretty little bow to tie up the Jaime/Brienne story. It is manipulating me through Gwendoline Christie’s superb acting, Ramin Djawadi’s heartwrenching music, and the very fact that Brienne is the one in the scene at all.

Because she was chosen for a reason, and that reason is not just because she’s the one with a connection to Jaime. She was chosen because Brienne is a Good character. In a show full of gray morality, she’s done very little to besmirch her heroic label and she’s always presented as an upright person whose actions are basically always justified and acceptable. As a result, the audience tends to agree with what Brienne does, even subconsciously – she acts as a shortcut to right and wrong that viewers can latch onto, which is not uncommon in storytelling. Excluding the last couple episodes, her opinion of Jaime follows pretty squarely with his character arc. Jaime is loathsome while Brienne finds him loathsome, pitiful while she finds him pitiful, admirable while she finds him admirable.

So, the writers have this character who is defaulted to Agreeable with audiences and they have her forgive this other character for his selfishness and betrayal, thereby making it so audiences can more easily forgive that selfishness and betrayal. Because why, exactly, did Brienne abandon Sansa Stark to a lonely rule in the North in order to serve in the southern Kingsguard? She had no actual ambition to be in the Kingsguard. She wanted to be in Renly’s Kingsguard not because she loved the title or the position, but because she loved Renly. She swore herself to Catelyn’s service not because she wanted to serve the Starks, but because she wanted to serve Lady Catelyn. Again, she swore herself to Sansa and not to King Jon or Queen Dany, because Brienne doesn’t swear to positions – she swears to people. There is no logical reason why she would go to King’s Landing to serve Bran, a king she doesn’t even really know, and leave Sansa at Winterfell.

No reason, except as a tool for the writers to use so that viewers forgive Jaime through Brienne.

In conclusion, the White Book scene is an act of manipulation that aims to polish up the writers’ complete disregard for Brienne and it uses our regard for Brienne to do so. It unbalances the careful balance of respect struck between the Jaime and Brienne characters that has been (at least subtextually, in the show) at the heart of their relationship by reframing Brienne as little more than a subplot in the “bigger” story of Jaime Lannister, and further highlights how much of Brienne’s story from the books the show tossed out because they just didn’t care – in their eyes, Brienne was nothing but a vessel for Jaime’s legacy, not a character with a legacy in her own right. And that’s why I don’t like it.

[sparxymcfly]

SPARX LOSES THEIR MIND [a fairly long post fair warning]

Why hello everyone! Has Sparx made another purchase that they then freaked out over for a period of time and have now come to share with everyone? Yeah, precisely, keep up, come on. Me being incorrigible is not the focus today, the focus today is the box of prop replicas I bought from the official Back to the Future website and more precisely the letter inside that’s been monopolizing all the space in my brain ever since [and well, a few other things inside I’ll get to, but they’re less paradigm-shifting than this letter imo]

So let’s see what we’ve got!

So the website description [the product is here btw] lists like, everything you get in the box. Sure, yeah, totally normal. I was excited for every little thing in this box to be perfectly clear. However, what really jingled my jangles and got me curious was the bit saying “Marty’s Introduction Letter”. Now, what I thought this was going to be was some like softly-meta bit from our dear young friend Marty, probably labeled “to whomsoever finds this” and explaining his adventures. I mean, makes sense, right?

Except that’s not what it is! At all! Guess what the OPENING LINE is??

EXCITED? PERPLEXED? SURPRISED? SO WAS I.

Let’s keep reading, shall we? I’ll transcribe it to make it easier to read alongside the pictures because a) friendly to people who struggle with text in images and b) Marty’s handwriting is. It sure is. Love you, buddy.

Front Side:

“Dear Dave and Linda, 

If you are reading this it’s probably because I haven’t been home in a while, but don’t worry, just because I’m not here now doesn’t mean that we won’t see each other again in the future.

I am most likely traveling back in time with Doc and we’ve had a problem that prevents me [possibly us?] from returning to the present.

I’ve always told you that time travel is so heavy and you always treat me like a madman, but if Doc and I hadn’t traveled to the past and the future on several occasions then Dad would be six feet under right now, Biff would be our stepfather, Junior and Marlene would be in the clink and you two would be living in [not sure? it could be the word ‘ruin’] and hitting the bottle. In the worst case scenario, mom and Dad wouldn’t even have fallen in love and we would have vanished from existence as if-” [continued on the next page]

Back Side:

“-someone had erased us from a photograph.

I’m not going to give you my speech again, I know you don’t believe me, but as crazy as it may sound, there are two things that Marty McFly will never be: a liar or a chicken.

What’s in this box will blow your mind. In it I keep memories of my travels to 1885, 1955, 1985, and 2015: pictures, tickets, maps, and souvenirs of the past and the future. I even keep a coin from the casino that that jerk Biff built after stealing the DeLorean from us.

Your brother in time

Marty”

Now let’s take this step by step because this is a journey and a half. Granted, I do fully understand and I know we all have to know that this box’s existence with everything it has in it kinda requires just a bit of suspension of disbelief, considering it’s highly unlikely Marty actually grabbed every little thing in it from start to finish of the trilogy. I may or may not walk through that later who’s to say. I know I’m gonna at least pick some of my favorite things in the box to talk about. But to be perfectly honest, even just taking one iota of this letter as somewhat canon-adjacent or even just one possible canon is making me lose my mind.

Let’s get going wow so THAT’S what tumblr formatting do that’s neat. LET’S DISCUSS first - Dave and Linda!

Okay so like literally first and foremost the biggest point here- Marty trying to tell his siblings about time travel. Dave and Linda! The first assumption, as far as I have seen it, has always been his parents! In fact, his dad, for the whole science fiction angle. Although, to be quite fair, most takes I’ve seen have really been George figuring it out, not quite so much Marty telling him on purpose. And then, well, y’know, Doc and Jennifer are the only other people who know. But this is just wildly interesting. When did he start trying? The wording of the letter makes it sound like he’s tried tons of times, even though they don’t believe him. How openly does he talk about it? Is it really just to the two of them? It sounds about like that, especially considering the apparent potential secrecy of this box and it being addressed to just the two of them. We can make any guesses we want about how long it took before he tried to talk to them- perhaps not long after returning home from his adventures, perhaps it took a few years, perhaps it even took decades! Because that being an option does tie into my second big point!

Using headings is making formatting easier don’t worry I promise I will maybe probably get the hang of making my posts look nicer :) probably :) Time period and Doc!

This is 2015 Marty!! But the Lone Pines, non-broken hand version, which to my knowledge this is the first time we’ve heard from him. I wonder endlessly if this version did successfully become a rockstar, but I don’t think much of anything in this letter confirms or denies it. We do know this who we’re dealing with though, or at least that it’s passed 2015, on account of when Marty is listing off all the awful things that he had to prevent via time travel, he says that “Junior and Marlene would be in the clink”, which happened on that day they traveled to in Part 2- this takes place after that day. And most most importantly, Marty and the Doc still travel through time together even when Marty is in his 40s! Which means they’re still hanging out even then :) this is very important information. Which not just this one time, but the fact that [Marty presumes, though I don’t doubt it really does] this happens a Lot, enough that Marty could open the letter with “probably stuck somewhere in time” as if they go through all the time, but this is a safeguard in case they get stuck. Granted, re: my post about the whole Marty’s mental state thing, that would call into question how long this has been going on, how often they do this, if Marty has had the opportunity to talk this out or deal with his issues in any kind of way... but I digress.

Completely separately from any knowledge or events gleaned from the comics or the game, we know that Doc does in fact visit at some point again! Which, y’know, good! Don’t leave your boy like that, Doc. This could also like potentially cue back into Doc being like super long lived re: the rejuvenation clinic thing along with WHATEVER ELSE future stuff he might encounter/pull off/use but also Doc is a time traveler and can go whenever he pleases, so actually this proves nothing. Please enjoy the mental image of Marty in his 40s with Doc in his 60s-70s with me though, they are both older but they are such so friends still. Please. It’s giving me serotonin I hope it also gives You serotonin.

Etc [aka I can’t think of any more headers and actually I’m going to just fill the last bit with random little thoughts, every paragraph is a new one this time <3]

I am so incredibly dying to hear what Marty’s “speech” is, him referring to it as “my speech again” implies that it’s more or less the same every time. Dave and Linda don’t believe him, which of course as we know [re: Doc’s Delorean handbook with the very long name I’m too pumped up to check right now] Doc specifically didn’t allow that to get out, so it makes sense. Well, that and their dad is a famous sci-fi author and as far as Dave and Linda are concerned, that’s all he’s ever been, so Marty talking about time travel probably just sounds like more of what their dad goes on about. Granted, Marty literally has a mad scientist best friend, but one, other than the time machine and various little doodads like the automatic dog feeder and the giant amp- which are in the grand scheme of things pretty mundane and believable- we don’t have proof that Doc has made any actually strange or extraordinary inventions that work for this kind of precedent to be set. And, well, on top of that they just don’t believe his “tall tale.” I would still Love to hear what it is though.

And the fact that he just TELLS THEM all the terrible things that did or almost happened! The fact that he follows this section up with the “my speech again” line means this knowledge is not a part of said speech, and y’know with the contents of the box and that fact’s presence this is probably the first time they’ll have heard it. Which like, wow, if this box convinces them [and kinda even if it doesn’t] that is a LOT. 

I’m also incredibly curious where- or, heh, more accurately when- Doc and Marty have gone and gotten lost. If nothing has changed and Dave and Linda are able to still read this letter and see the contents of the box, then logically it probably isn’t the past. Or, well, it could be, and maybe they just haven’t changed anything, but c’mon now. This is Doc and Marty. They’d probably have changed something by mistake. [Or, okay, maybe not, it’s entirely possible age/time has made them wiser and more careful, buuuuut let’s call it a 50/50 chance, haha] It’s probably the future? But then, doubly again, we don’t know! “Doesn’t mean you won’t see me again in the future” sure could imply either way, though it leans future to my way of thinking. It could mean they’ll see Marty again and he’ll have come from the past the normal way, just even older than 40s now, but the wording more makes me think they’ll keep aging and find him stuck there. GRANTED this I think, most logically, means Marty knows he and Doc will eventually figure it out and get back, and as usual, they’ll set the time machine to a reasonable amount of time in the future from their departure to not seem strange. But it also could give a little hint to where they are in the future, since Marty’s siblings are both older and so if it is that they’d age and see him, it couldn’t be too terribly far in the future.

In leaving this box and note, what was Marty planning? Was it just to finally have them believe him? Was it to have somebody have this box, in case he doesn’t make it back? I’d imagine he’d have left some kind of note about what to tell Jennifer and his kids if that were the case- and maybe what to do with his other stuff, but Jen and the kids at minimum because c’mon, Marty wouldn’t leave them never knowing- so I think it’s unlikely, but it’s a possible route worth thinking about. Then of course an interesting, though admittedly far-fetched theory, which is that he might be intending that Dave and Linda somehow assist in the rescue/escape out of time of Doc and Marty! Which has little grounding past arming them with information and items seeming so Much, but it’s also very interesting to imagine Dave and Linda of all characters joining in the time travel shenanigans! It truly is kinda a shame they’re not utilized terribly much, but then, until this letter and a few more recent tangent thoughts, I hadn’t either! So who’s to say.

And as somehow, like, the finisher, despite being so mundane in comparison, I wanna point out Marty writing lowercase m for mom but uppercase D for dad. Like! He wrote a big M for his own name and their surname and Marlene, so it’s not even just how he writes them, he really did just give their dad the uppercase D the whole time and their mom got the lowercase m! I have no idea what this might mean if anything I just think it’s a funky little detail that just. Stuck out!

THAT’S IT THOSE ARE ALL MY RAMBLES ABOUT THIS LETTER

Actually I might be lying, there could be more. But this is already SO long so I’m taking mercy on you all. This letter is just. It’s making my brain EXPLODE if anybody reading this also has thoughts shout them at me just go OFF I will enjoy it greatly and maybe even continue shouting along with you.

UHHH the rest of the box I’ll discuss later! I have no idea how to end a post :)

[soundsaboutrighttumblr]

WBL meta ep 4.

On lucky ones and fools for love, of which there might be not one, but two, each, on broken means of communication and bridges, hierarchies and equal footings in relationships. Started out as typing along each scene, but then one scene stole all the paragraphs, so I cut it a bit short in the end. So yes, kinda my stream of consciousness again.

 -          We are reminded: Shi De’s mails have always been unanswered, his messages, after 1 year approximately, stay even unread. Communication and its multitude of possible errors will be touched on… good.

-          We are told: Little baby Oscar is Shi De’s brother. Ashley probably his step sister that helped take care of Oscar while Shi De’s mom recovered. Shi De stayed, because of his mother’s health and problems in the company, to help out the people he loves, because they are his family, too. Besides Shu Yi. That made two months into two years.

The scene that stole all the paragraphs:

-          Moving light on concrete walls, bowls and symbols of present and enduring care and nourishment, a fresh morning, fresh eyes, new awakenings. Man, that scene is everything, not only because it is the scene where Shu Yi will realize imo that this man before him did not cheat on him, without anyone explicitly  having to address it. I love this scene already. Will there be fic? Possibly. First, watch me type through it like this, if you want:

-          They turn towards each other, like really facing each other. At eye level. Do I make myself clear, lol? They are both sober and rested and calm and are looking right at each other, in a safe space, with morning fresh eyes, eyes open once more after their night TM, a period of darkness, that might have stretched longer than this actual night. Yeah, I am feeling dramatic alright.

Boy do I love that Shi De just starts to speak. Apologizes sincerely, and for the thing that shows that successful communication actually can happen between those two, when they are together, that Shi De actually has listened to Shu Yi and his side and considered it and is aware of where his fault lies, to a degree.

He admits that he realized he didn’t believe in Shu Yi’s forever.

I understand the following lines as carrying the sentiment: Shi De always loved Shu Yi, but as he said to Dad, he wanted to be with him forever the moment he got together with him. Before that was his one sided love, a vague concept of love, but the dream to be together with Shu Yi was just that, a dream. One that became concrete and true, and that was the moment Shi De actually felt and decided he wants this forever.

It became a decision to commit, and the process of it becoming real for Shi De, a decision that reaches into his reality, it took ten years. So he was reluctant to believe that for Shu yi that process of reaching certainty could have happened much quicker. He only had his own love as reference, and used to carrying it all by himself, that standard made him question, if Shu Yi COULD be as certain as Shi de was, after arriving at his decision after 10 years, versus Shu Yi’s rather recent-feeling awakening.

– maybe Shu Yi loved you for longer, even if his knowledge of it was asleep, Shi De, you know he comprehends things in his sleep, we know that about him, right? Sorry side tracked –

Shi De realizes, and TELLS Shu Yi, I mean that scene, he just tells and talks, the marvel… sorry, Shi De realized he DID not believe Shu Yi’s devotion to be the equal to his, thought that Shu Yi was just swept off his feet by the moment, and then he realizes, that the fault for that lies in his own insecurities. And he says that. To Shu Yi. InternalYesScreaming.

-          Okay. The intricacies of miscommunication and manipulation. Dad’s arguments were received by Shi De with open ears, because they were thoughts and insecurities, he’d already had himself. The worry of being not good enough, of holding Shu Yi back. That’s why they work even if Shi De realizes he’s being manipulated by that entire put together scene.

-           And then Dad presented that broken phone, the symbol of broken communication and broken bridges between them, on a silver platter almost, I mean do you remember the way Dad orchestrated that meeting with the food and the waiter handing him the device on silent cue? It must have felt like things were truly broken beyond an immediate chance of repair.

-          BTW : Dad holding the cards, ahem, the phone, the means of communication between them in his hands? We will remember that later, right.

-          So yeah, the only chance Shi De saw to salvage anything of it, was in the future. So he gave himself those 5 years, to be worthy to stand next to Shu Yi.

-          I think that is about the time that Shu Yi realizes, finally allows himself to let it click, that this man never looked at anyone else but him. Like, that for Shi De, there is no one better on this planet than Shu Yi, there’s no arrogance that a cheating situation could have been born out of.

-         Also? He sees that Shi De actually has always perceived himself as inferior to Shu Yi, deep down, and/or is afraid Shu Yi might see him as such, which is a reversal and touch on their theme of who is No 1 and Mr. Second, see conclusion waaay down below in highlighted on this monster of a meta.

-          The power of it. For Shu Yi to be able to finally SEE Shi De and who he is enough again, that he can overcome his doubts. Without Shi De addressing the misunderstanding, but, and that is important, by Shi De TALKING. About himself, without pretense for strength. The misunderstanding is made nil by communication per se, not communication about it but by the essence of communication, of baring yourself to another, who listens, and understands.

-          Gah.

-          The way Shu Yi finally acts, when Shi De mentions someone better for Shu Yi. Like there would be someone. How he makes him face him again when Shi De starts to get lost in his own self-flagellating thoughts. Reminding him, this is not a monologue this is a dialogue, by making him face him again. So important, because that happens with them when they are in a room together. They can draw each other out of their heads and communicate.

-          Btw, there are wet spots of tears on both their pillows.

-          And yes, he puts it in words. That it is his call to choose Shi De, and decide to want to stay with him forever. Not Shi De’s for him, not Dad’s.

-          Stupid Gao Shi De. And that affectionate slap on his head. Because they will always be physical like that.

-          And there it is, the bracelet that was never gone, and what follows is a renewed wedding vows scene if I ever saw one, is humility and forgiveness and renewed promises on an equal footing. I think that scene deserves way more words, but I might put that in fic or another meta, this is getting ridiculously long. But I think the feels in this one are quite clear. But let me say this:

This episode poses the question who is the lucky one. Also, related to that, who is Mr. Second, and who is No 1? Is it who we thought it was? Or was it reversed, was Shi De the lucky one after all? OR was it the two of them from the start, two lucky ones, two fools for love? And finally: a sense of growth, away from the hierarchy and the illusion of No 1s and Mr. Seconds, of winners and losers in relationships:

You can be equal only through honesty and vulnerability and shared responsibility.

 -          Please let me know what you think the statue, the rabbit and the crystal ball symbolizes, knowing the show it might symbolize something, but I am lost here, lol. Is it a chinese character thing? Soundsalikes? Three syllables? Am i interpreting too much into it?

-          I actually will skip some scenes now, because I just want to mention the ones that tie into the topics I started on above, communication and bridges, because else this will break all limits lengthwise.

-          The scene where Bing Wei tells Shi De of the magnitude and depths of Shu Yi’s love. Once again solidifying, that it has always been Shi De’s love’s equal, devotion wise.That Shi De is the freaking lucky one, too.

-          The matter of the phone as the symbol. Shu Yi crying alone with the phone, the broken symbol of the broken communication between them, and then Dad taking that out of his hands.

-          How it ties into when they both realize at the same time, Dad’s involvement and interruption of their communication might have even started earlier, with blocking the emails from the start when they were apart. You lose sympathies in this ep again, dad, lol.

-          The scene on the bridge. BRIDGE. Yeah, besides that it has history for them, look what they do in that scene. They reconnect further, mend bridges, by their shared history in highlights, but also by levelling the ground between them, each admitting and being told that they both have been idiots in this for their own parts, laughing about it even with tears in their eyes. Teasing each other with it, but pulling each other closer over it, the teasing, careful, long unused steps around each other, but on a bridge between them that they revisit, that has been mended, that is secure again under their feet.

It’s the ground they can stand on, the ground they can and WILL use to talk about all that stuff, the bridge between them, their equal love.

-          Also, Shu Yi is eating in that scene, happily.

-          Oh man, I will end it here, because there’s just too much to say, and I will, in fic and more meta, let me know what you wanna talk about if you made it this far.

[elizabeatrice]

Episode 12 - The Little Mermaid

Let’s Talk About JSHK Anime #3

Warning: Manga spoilers for The Little Mermaid arc, The Clock Keeper arc, and chapter 64!!! (just a bit, skip point no. 5, 6, and 10 if you don’t want to get spoiled) Also … this ended up way longer than I intended.

Well that was one heck of a feels trip. It’s probably my new favorite episode, just because everyone is here being wholesome lmao.

This is mostly hananene meta I ain’t even gonna lie.

Before we begin, shout out to Black Canyon, our newest anime cutie pie. Just look at him, folks. Just chilling with his sunflower seed.

He has no idea the kind of life his owner leads.

I said before that the best part of episode 12 is how it made Daydream worse, so now I’m gonna ramble about it.

“Maybe different species can’t understand each other after all.”

“Maybe it would be better if I were an apparition too.”

This is my favorite part of the episode. And no, not in the sense that I want Nene to die just so that she and Hanako can be together. But because of how Lerche actually explored deeper what was said only once in the manga.

Well, both in the manga and anime Nene ended up accepting the mermaid’s blood because of her desire to be popular, but the anime decided to revisit what she said earlier in the episode.

Not only did that make her decision kinda less selfish, it’s also just … sad. Thinking that your friend, someone you really cared about, doesn’t trust you enough to tell you things about themselves, to the point where you’re willing to go to such lengths as turning into an apparition just to understand them.

And if you think about it, isn’t this part of her true wish? To have her feelings be reciprocated? Man I just realized that as I wrote this and I am mindblown.

She thought she finally got her wish with Hanako. I mean, he said it himself in the first ep (”You wanted someone, anyone, to return your feelings, right? And as far as you’re concerned, sharing a bond with someone is the same thing, right?”). So it must’ve hit her really hard when she thought he didn’t trust her. Especially with all the wrong ideas the fishes were feeding her mind.

Then we got this little flashback. At first I was like, “Girl, you really be thinking that he doesn’t care about you while recalling the moment he apologized to you and hugged you? Are you insane?”

But after some thinking of my own, it occurred to me. Maybe she was too used to having her feelings not reciprocated, she couldn’t believe it when someone finally did. Not to mention Hanako did kinda trick her with his fake confession a while back (heh, he’s not the only one with trust issues, eh?). And that just made the entire thing even sadder.

So when Nene said, “But I thought, if I were an apparition like you, I could get closer to you. Then, maybe I’d be able to understand you, Hanako-kun. Although I know I probably don’t mean anything to you.”

That was a harsh wake up call for Hanako.

(Btw even more full circle, Hanako brought up Nene’s wish to become human again in the first episode. Nice.)

So. We got one daikon girl who’s afraid of not having her feelings reciprocated, and one ghost boy who’s afraid that daikon girl wouldn’t be his friend anymore if she knew about his past.

While in actuality, said daikon girl already decided she wanted to and would be his friend no matter what, and ghost boy had grown to care about her more than he thought he would.

He heard what she said to Tsuchigomori. He knew all about regret, too.  I mean, honestly, I think if she had said no, he’d let her walk away right then and there, no questions asked. But she didn’t.

Nene’s wish finally came true here. And the best part? It wasn’t the work of magic or curses. Just Hanako finally shoving his fear aside, offering himself as he was, and letting her decide.

And she still chose to be with him.

Heh. Lemme just. Sob for a bit.

Is my hananene trash brain reading too much into this? Idk. Maybe.

So props to the production team for managing to add even more weight to this arc. Which, they had to, since it’s the season finale and all. But I love what they did!

Onto my commentaries!

1. The KouNene

Good shit. She was worried about him but he didn’t want her to worry so he just smiled it off? These two are precious. Thought they were gonna interact. Sadly not. Buuuut! (see point 12)

2. Hanako’s classroom visit

He. Is. So. Adorable. Someone please take his babey license away he’s too dangerous.

Hanako’s classroom visit is like my absolute favorite clingy Hanako moment, so I’m really happy I get to see it this season. Ugh. My kokoro. Hugging her from behind, that semi confession vibe … Smooth mf.

The Mokke brushing Nene’s hair!!! The radish hairdo tho lmao.

On a sidenote, as a history nerd I appreciate that they’re actually putting lessons in the background. And the teacher talked about Apollo 11 again??? While my boy was in the room? That ish both hurt and pleased me.

3. The Clock Keeper rumor drop

Heeeeeehhhhh? What’s thiiiiiissss?

4. This freaking thing

*flips table* Darn production team been knew I’m hananene trash how dare they do this to me.

And lookie here there’s Kodama chilling.

5. Fishies! (!!!manga spoiler for The Little Mermaid arc!!!)

Pufferfish didn’t die. Well, good for him. Also I can’t believe they just call the other fish ‘yeah yeah’ lmao what the freak. Has it always been like that in the manga?

6. AOI AND AKANE (!!!spoilers for chapter 64!!!)

I swear I did not intend this numbering coincidence.

*claps* Boi. Nene asking Aoi about cutting ties with someone she’s interested in? And then Akane just swooped in and say he’d rather cut his head off than cut ties with Aoi? What about getting impaled, huh, boy? Would that do?

The not-so-subtle call out to these two pairs’ parallel? BOI.

7. Nene and Yako

These two just chilling together having girl talk, and Yako let Nene pet her? That’s some adorable shit right there. Admit it Yako you like her.

Yako also be really hitting home with what she said. It was extra heavy coming from her, considering what happened to her and Misaki. Boiiiiii.

8. Tsuchigomori

Oh my God, his laughter. Just … oh my God.

Tsuchigomori in dad mode is always one of the highlights of the episode/chapter.

By the way, in this scene according to the sub, Nene asked Tsuchigomori who Tsukasa is. But she knew who he is already. Is it possible that the sub misinterpreted it? ‘Cause I think what she actually meant was, “What happened to him and Tsukasa-kun in the past?”

If someone who speaks Japanese could share their wisdom, please do!

9. The 5 pm bell and twilight

Look how pretty they are!!!

Lo and behold, another important hananene interaction while the 5 pm bell plays in the background. Also, twilight? Y’all giving me Kimi no Na wa flashbacks.

“Twilight, when it’s neither day or night. When the world blurs and one might encounter something not human.”

Huh … kinda fits the ‘boundary’ concept but it still hurt.

Anyway they still had Hanako tell her what she already knew. And I did say in my ‘Walking Blind’ post that it’d be redundant. But since the episode kinda emphasized Nene’s desire to understand Hanako, having him actually tell her himself, even though she already knew it, was a big deal. It’s not about what she knows, it’s about him opening up to her. So I’m super cool with it.

10. The Broadcasting Club (!!!spoilers for The Clock Keeper arc!!!)

I love how Natsuhiko and Sakura are actually decent people. When he told Mitsuba that he was free to choose to stay with them or not? That’s solid, man. Though, of course, Tsukasa might not be as kind.

Speaking of, I know it couldn’t be anything else, but I’m still not sure if Tsukasa’s drawing was confirmation for season 2. Don’t wanna get my hopes up. Imma just enjoy what I currently have.

Kinda curious, though. Because Clock Keeper wasn’t Tsukasa’s doing. Maybe he was the one who released Mirai? But tbh I’d prefer if it wasn’t so. Because having more cases of supernaturals going loco without it being one of Tsukasa’s games is interesting, and kinda underlines the need of The Seven Wonders to keep supernaturals in check.

11. Kodama just chilling

12. The Adventures of Minamoto and the Summer Vegetables

You go, Kou! I’m rooting for you oh my God you’re so precious.

And look at that ikemen smile! Him supporting Kou is just top notch sweet y’all I can’t-

Ngl this was the biggest surprise of the episode. Teru finding out that summer vegetables = Nene? Broooooo. Interesting. I don’t think this little addition warrants any changes to their future interaction, so it should be safe. Clever replacement, too, those veggies.

It’s so sweet that Nene delivered those veggies to Kou! Just imagine the Minamoto family having veggies for dinner. Awww.

(Also, Nene wrote her name in hiragana instead of kanji. Is that a reference to how bad Kou is with kanji? Lol, so sweet)

13. The Coda!!!

Look at him. Just look at him. Look how lovesick he is y’all I can’t-

THEY’RE SO ADORABLE.

All in all, I love this episode. Sorry for how long this post is. I’m just dealing with so many feels right now. Gaaahhhhh.

[leverage-ot3]

notable moments from The Bank Shot Job

leverage 1.05

I decided I’m also going to start highlighting meta material in these posts for reference reasons (like for fics, headcanons, meta, etc)

I’m colorcoading by what character the meta pertains to btw

Clerk: Hello, Judge Roy.

Judge Roy: [slaps her ass] Hey, sweetheart.

Frank: Can I help you, your honor?

Judge Roy: Yes, Fred. Her phone number?

Frank: It's Frank. And she's 19, sir.

Judge Roy: That's too bad. She got a younger sister

diSgUsTiNG

- - - - -

Hardison: No. No more. We gotta talk to Nate. No more rip deals. They take too damn long.

Parker (ripping paper): That's why they're called "Rip Deals". You have to convince them they're getting a deal before you can rip them off.

Hardison: Two weeks. Two weeks sleeping in crappy hotels. Two weeks eating in crappy diners. Two weeks having my soul sucked dry. It's 107 degrees. Who lives where it's 107 degrees?

Parker: Juan's not so bad. I kinda like this town

I wanna see that domestic shit of them sharing hotel rooms and eating the continental breakfasts and dingy diners and everything about them living in rundown hotels for two weeks

- - - - -

Hardison: You know, I had to retask two satellites just to get a lousy internet connection. Took more than an hour to torrent the last episode of Doctor Who.

Parker: Hey! Illegal downloading's wrong. (lights paper on fire in trash can)

that’s it. that’s their relationship.

- - - - -

Hardison: How we coming on the breakdown?

Eliot (loading truck elsewhere): Fake addresses are shut down. Post office boxes are closed. The phones are cleared. Five more minutes, we never existed

bruh those props ??? I wish I had a screenshot but wtf where they DOING for the con ???

- - - - -

Hardison: Want me to call the Delgado family, tell them the news?

Eliot: Nah. Soon as I clear county line I want to do it. I just wish we could do more than bankrupt that corrupt son of a bitch

eliot is so good you guys im-

- - - - -

Nate: Get out. Now.

Hardison: Is he talking to us?

Parker: An unmarked van parked across the street from a bank that's being robbed? Yeah. I think he's talking to us.

Hardison: Yeah, well, five more feet and he would have been in the clear. What the hell was he thinking?

Parker: Don't be an idiot, Hardison.

Hardison: What?

Parker: Sophie was still in there

parker knows nate loves sophie and would never leave her behind because she may not always get people, but even she can see how much nate cares for sophie

- - - - -

Derrick: Everyone empty your pockets. Wallets, purses, watches, everything you've got, throw it over here.

(everyone throwing stuff to center of floor)

nate threw his fucking toothpick

- - - - -

Deputy Arnold: No, right here, right here, and we need ...

(Eliot crosses police line)

Deputy Arnold: Whoa, whoa, I need you to take a step back, sir.

Eliot: Tell me what's going on in there.

Deputy Arnold: I'm afraid I can't do that, this is an active crime scene, and you need to ...

Eliot: (to cop) I'm not talking to you. (to Nate) How many are there?

Nate: Yeah, you're right. Clearly amateurs, these two. Yeah. The younger one, looks like he's never handled a gun before.

Eliot: Is judge blow-hard next to you?

Nate: Yeah, uh-huh. Yeah, definitely amateurs, That's what makes them so dangerous.

Eliot: Alright, 2 guys, both armed, neither one a criminal mastermind. You want me in there?

Deputy Arnold: Sir, we can't have you going inside the bank ...

Nate: Probably, uh, a good idea just to sit tight, don't you think? You know, and see where these guys' heads are

at, you know?

Eliot (backing away): Alright, your call boss.

Deputy Arnold: Thank you

poor deputy arnold + eliot being done with local law enforcement

- - - - -

Sophie: Okay. So what is the plan, Stan

“what’s the plan, stan” adorable.

- - - - -

(Eliot leans against a building across the street and watches Hardison and Parker pull up in a sedan)

Eliot: Nice ride.

Parker (taking notebook and removing badges): It's embarrassing. Everyone knows you don't rob a bank without an exit strategy. These two deserve to get caught. 42 seconds. (tosses notebook back to Eliot)

Hardison: What?

Parker: To rob this bank. One security guard who has never fired his gun before, 2 closed-circiut cameras outside, 1 inside, and a Glen-Reader safe built in the 50's whose default combination is the birth date of the manager's wife! Get in, get out, 42 seconds.

Hardison: Seriously

parker was so angry that she chucked the binder at eliot and he was like ??? we good ???

- - - - -

Hardison: Seriously? (to Bill) I'm Agent Leonard. This is Agent Elmore. We'll be taking over this crime scene,

Sheriff ...

Bill: Bill Hastings. Nice to meet you. You guys sure are quick, just called this in 20 minutes ago.

Hardison: Well, we were coming back from a little border skirmish. Patrol unit came under attack from a pack of Chupacabras.

Bill: Chupacabras? I thought those things were urban legend.

Hardison: You're adorable

I love it when hardison fucks with people it’s hilarious

- - - - -

Hardison: Whoa, what's going on?

Bill: Cut power to the bank. Standard operating procedure.

Hardison: Standard ... it's standard op ... it's standard? Where do you getting that bull-hockey from son?

Bill: Deputy Arnold, he took a seminar in crisis management last year.

Deputy Arnold: It was an online seminar. We got certificates.

Hardison: Certificates? Magic kits come with certificates. Does that make it cool for kids to saw their parents in half?

Bill: We're just going by the book.

Hardison: The ... the book? The book got a good man killed. I can't ... my blood pressure.

Parker: Ex-partner. Probably shouldn't mention the book again. Or propellers.

parker is doing so well with grifting considering and I’m so proud of her

- - - - -

Sophie: They are not cops, I promise you, they're friends of mine, you can trust them.

Derrick: Why should I trust you? I don't know who you are.

Sophie: I am a thief.

Derrick: Okay, I'm not sure what to do with that.

that’s it guys. that’s the show.

- - - - -

Nate: I didn't say it was going to be easy. But nothing's impossible, especially when you have the world's greatest thief on your payroll. Parker, have you ever robbed a bank that's being robbed?

Parker: There's a first time for everything.

her SMILE YOUR HONOR

- - - - -

Parker: The bank was built before 1980, before computers. Means it's got a larger than normal night deposit chute.

Hardison: 'Cause business had to drop off ledgers with their daily hauls. What, you thought my genius was only limited to ones and zeroes?

Parker: I'm thinking the chute's my way in. Only problem is, it's in the alley on this side of the building

the way she looks at hardison like damn boy you know my stuff

- - - - -

Hardison: I can take care of that, but, we actually have bigger problems.

Eliot: What's that?

Hardison: Well, Sheriff Coltrane over here called the FBI, the real FBI. Now the closes office is in San Diego, so they should be here, in about, um, give it 45 minutes.

Nate: We can't worry about that now.

Hardison: When do we worry about it?

Nate: In about 45 minutes

hardison, internally: lord give me strength

- - - - -

Hardison: Hold on ... Excuse me. (answers phone) Agent Leonard. We will do whatever you need us to do, just please, don't hurt anybody. Okay. (hangs up) Guys ... Boys, boys, come on, gather 'round. Now boys, that was THE call. The call we were waiting for. Now look, they have a list of demands. First off, they want 12 large pizzas. One cheese, one Hawaiian, extra pineapple. Two pepperoni and black olives, two meat lover's, t ... Seriously? Nobody's writing this down? Seriously? One triple-shot half-caf vanilla latte, tall,

(Parker goes down alley and opens deposit drop box)

Hardison: …three of the latest copies of the Hall and Oates CD. I know, right? Exciting stuff I didn't know they were coming out with a new one either. We're gonna need steaks. Steaks and a grill. They're trying to tailgate. Okay, they need your overalls, I don't know why. They need some kibbles n' bits, we need an Etch-A-Sketch, somebody in there likes to squiggle okay ... Are we good? Let's go people. Everybody. I need you guys moving. Everybody get out. Go. (hardison points at an officer) You stay. We need to talk about Hall & Oates.

I fucking loved this monologue,,, hardison is VERY GOOD at improvising

- - - - -

(Derrick opens night deposit box)

Parker: Hi.

Derrick (hands her the briefcase): There's a lot of money in there.

Parker: Yeah, I know.

Derrick: My wife's life depends on that money getting where it needs to go.

Parker: I understand. Sometimes bad guys are the only good guys you get

parker’s face softened and you can see that she understood. parker didn’t get people in the beginning of the show, and sure her values and ideas aren’t typical, but she was ALWAYS a good person. she cared and understood what was at risk and she consoled him.

also, this is yet another piece of evidence that parker was the main character all along!!! I’m not gonna go super into it because there are already posts out there about it, but she had three (3) episodes dedicated to her character in season one alone AND had her say what is basically the mission statement of the show here in this scene

- - - - -

Sophie: Things could be worse.

Nate: Worse than me getting shot and you blowing our cover?

Sophie: No, no, you're not gonna lay that crap on me. We wouldn't even be in this mess if you'd just walked out with the cash when you had the chance. I would've been fine.

Nate: I know.

Sophie: Yeah, I can take care of myself. I've been doing it a long time. Since way before I met you. I'm just saying.

Nate: Yeah, you're right.

Sophie: Okay

nate knows sophie is a strong independent woman and that is one of the only things I stan about him lol

- - - - -

Sophie: We lost communication.

Nate: Yeah, we did.

Sophie: Hardison, Parker, and Eliot ...

Nate: That's right, they are on their own. Yup.

they ended up doing great on their own, but also, can we acknowledge what a glow up it was building up to the rundown job ???

- - - - -

(Mom gets out of truck and tries to run)

Meth #2: Where the hell you think you're going, old lady? (pulls mom back) Where the hell you think you're g ...

Eliot (catches Meth #2’s arm): Hey, what smells like crank and screams like a girl? (Takes his gun and breaks his knee)

Meth #2: AAHH!

Eliot (kicks car door closed before Meth #3 can get out, empties the bullets from gun): That's the right answer. (throws gun into car at #3, hits #1 as he approaches) Come on. (fights #1, kicks door shut, beats #1 more, kicks door again) Stay in the car. (beats the hell out of #3 and #1, kneels down near mom and removes her gag)

Mom: Who are you?

Eliot: Well ma'am, we'd be the cavalry.

this entire fight scene always has me ROLLING it’s so funny

also I’m not sure if this should go on the List Of Non-Weapon Objects Eliot Uses As Weapons but eliot DID use the car door in the fight

- - - - -

Sophie: Just let the paramedics take him. The rest of us will stay.

Judge Roy: And give up my leverage

*sophie and nate look at each other*

both, internally: tHATS OUR WORD

- - - - -

Nate: Hey, listen. She's gonna be alright. Everything's gonna be alright

Derrick: Your people ... they're good?

Nate: Yeah. The best.

nate’s smile when he says that??? proud dad alert

- - - - -

Sophie (looking at replay of tape): You're still a geek.

Judge Roy: They're trying to ruin me.

Hardison: Geek power, baby. Stay strong!

in other words: age of the geek, baby

also- kudos to 2008 hardison editing video like that. I can’t do that shit with today’s tech lmao

- - - - -

Bill: Go home now. Bank robbers are in custody, hostages are safe. FBI's got the whole thing wrapped up.

Taggert: Do you have any idea what?

Mcsweeten: Just go with it.

Deputy Arnold: Mr. FBI guys, can you help me here?

Bill: My, my. Look at this. Our local drug boys, both with outstanding warrants. It's incredible.

Taggert: Damn, we're good!

mcsweeten and taggert stumbling onto the leverage crew’s cons and directly profiting off of them is iconic. they have no idea. too pure for this world

- - - - -

Sophie: Hey, thanks Parker.

Parker: Whatever.

Sophie: No. It was an excellent performance.

Parker: Yeah, I think I can act okay when I'm yelling at people and bossing them around.

Sophie: Well, it's a good start.

proud mom!sophie + grifting parker

Nate: Listen, we have to make sure we get the cash to the Delgado family. Ow!

Eliot (tending Nate’s wound): Oh! Settle down. You act like you've never been shot before.

Nate (glances at Sophie): So, uh, pizza boxes, huh?

Hardison: Yeah, I know, I know, You could have done better.

Nate: No, no, no. No I couldn't have.

eliot casually stitching up nate’s wound bc no hospitals but also can we talk about how much nate has to trust eliot to literally operate on him

+

nate giving praise to hardison ??? rare af I don’t know her

[thecagedsong]

Cool, so one of my fandoms is having a really bad day, and since I care about Fablehaven until this monster of a fanfic gets finished, how about some wholesome meta? I don’t really care what the drama was about, so don’t tell me. We’re all a little high strung, and I tend to take disagreements personally in a way that I’m working on, and don’t need to be involved in. 

Now that that disclaimer is out of the way, who wants to talk about the Five crowns? Because I had a 14 hour car ride yesterday, listening to the second half of Evening Star and Shadow Plague, and I am so ready to let you all in on the code I cracked. I found the unifying magic diagram of the Fablehaven verse. The key to ultimate satisfaction, and if there was a magic research journal in universe, I would post this in and win the Top Magic Nerd of this Century award.  My goal is to make this as accepted canon as possible, because I am ridiculously right. No characters involved, so no drama except of the scolastic kind, relying on heavy references to canon. 

Ready? 

SO, I made a pretty big claim. But I’ve been toying with this theory since before Dragonwatch three came out. I need some reviews before I inform Brand Mull that I’ve cracked his secret and won the game. If this symbol isn’t on the spine of the Journal of Secrets, what is even the point. 

A good symbol does three things: identifies the pieces you are dealing with, helps the viewer reach a new understanding about the pieces, and map onto the cultural understandings of the audience. aka a cross with four quadrants of airplane, mitochondria, love, and toe nails is a terrible symbol. See common memes for usually pretty good symbols and graphs. 

So you got five crowns right? That means you have a pentagon and a five pointed star, and the biggest trick was figuring out where each crown went, and how they related to each other. 

Examine five-part belief systems, see where the crowns match, unifying symbol explains everything, move on. Easy.

NO.

You wanna know why?

BECAUSE FIVE POINTED STARS AS SYMBOLS ARE MORE WORTHLESS THAN AAA BATTERIES FOR WATCHING TELEVISION

Okay, a bit of an exaggeration, obviously they are very useful for things like organizing systems within a single body. Who functions as the head, the shield arm, the pivot foot, etc. But the point of that diagram is that they are equally important and dependent to every other part. Which doesn’t work when the different groups keep trying to break each other’s kneecaps (see b5: fairies v demons).

It also falls apart on the five-piece cultural scale. The most well-known 5-piece cultural scale is obviously the chinese elements: Fire Wood Water Metal Earth.

Now, I don’t pretend to be an expert on those at all. But it all broke down on fire, TBH. Were dragons fire? But a large point was that their breath weapons weren’t always fire. Were demons fire? Even the ones covered in sludge. Were demons earth? Was the underking earth? All I got were fairies as water, in the end. If someone wants to give that a go, be my guest. 

I drew so many pentagrams trying to figure it out, and it never worked. No matter the arrangement, it never told me more about the crowns except that there were five of them. I was about to despair. 

But then the muses sang: The Forgotten Crown. 

(That’s the title of my thesis, btw)

Like I said, five pointed stars were trash for this system, but what if I added another crown, one that no one bothers to count, because by their nature, they can’t do anything. That’s right:

The Forgotten Crown of the Fair Folk. 

The symbol slipped into place like sharp pointy things into Warren. And now I can get to the real meta after sharing this image:

Isn’t it beautiful? After I cracked this code, I showed it to my little sister. She smiled contentedly, calling it satisfying. It is so satisfying. It speaks to so many levels of understanding. 

First, I depicted for you, we have the morality and the terrain triangles. 

Morality triangle is the easiest, if you feel uncomfortable labeling drown-happy naiads as good and all demons as evil, congrats, thinking about the nature of good and evil is precisely what Mull was going for. Since I am suddenly one of those people, I’m going to be using the creation/destruction dichotomy, but acknowledge that both of those work. 

Fairies can be most easily understood when Kendra asked the Fairy Queen what she should do with her life. She’s an unlimited fount of the Fairy Queen’s own power, allowed to do whatever she wants, and the Fairy Queen tells her to nurture life. Be fruitful, put good things in the world, help people grow. Their goal is to create, their magic is defensive, beauty is wonderful for its own sake. The better you are at respecting and nurturing life, the stronger your magic is. Dryads are responsible for the whole forest, and throughout the series they are seen as more powerful and serious than fairies, which can make the plants they interact with grow and hamadryads, who are connected only to their tree. Certainly more powerful than the petty, waterbound naiads. 

Ganalus’s speech to Seth about his own nature is where you can understand demons in this world. They like to destroy and torture, they find amusement in things like plague and clipping live beings to their belts and dragging them around. They are driven by the need for more power and control. Their nature is to harm and break apart, and that has its place in this world, but we care about the stuff and people here, so mortals and fairies have got to keep these punks in check.

And of course, the Fair Folk. Here’s where this triangle gets fun. The worst of the worst gets to be Demon King, the best of the best get stronger fairy powers. That means the most neutral of the neutral get to be the leader of the Fair Folk. We’ve heard references to the main city of the Fair Folk: Selona, somewhere in Europe, and a mysterious exert that I’ve seen images of with Lord Dagrel that I’m trying to pin down. I’m posing that their powers come from being neutral. They talk about the terrible consequences of the last time they went to war, what if it the equivalent of their fallen state, when they break their neutrality, and changes them fundamentally. 

This breaks down the most, but they are the Forgotten Crown for a reason. They hold themselves apart from issues of the other crowns. No one even remembers that they have a crown, because as Seth and Celebrant have shown, who cares? They aren’t going to do anything about it. Everyone collectively forgot/don’t care about them. But their abilities are equal in strength to the others, but different in use, and less valued by those who have battles to fight. Their neutrality puts them exactly between good and evil, creation and destruction. They take the choice not to act, and there is power there too. 

Next is the Terrain Creatures. 

Sky giants control the sky, obviously. Thronis and his ability to control the weather, their height, while their feet are on the ground, far as we know, everything important happens in the sky. 

Underking gets under the ground, again, obvious. Different from the other two points of the terrain triangle in that there is a lot of creature classifactions in their domain, but think of how big the surface of the earth is, underneath it, all theirs. 

Dragons, they dwell in the sky and below the surface, putting them in both. Water dragons and Dromadus both primarily function beneath the surface, and their wings let them be in the sky. while not stronger necessarily than the other terrain crowns in their own domains, they are top of the food chain for the creatures living on the ground, and could probably take out the undead that venture near the surface, and I have high hopes for seeing a Sky Giant v Dragon in the next book. 

Cool, we got our organization of information. We learn something about them based on their placements within the triangles. But is that our symbol? No! Symbols are different than graphs, we should be able to squeeze ridiculous amounts of meaning from them, and we aren’t done yet. The two triangles map really, really well together.

What does the placement of the two triangles together tell us about the individual components?

a WHOLE TON. This is what makes this symbol the most satisfying, the triangles create two separate categorizations of their powers and abilities, but they inform each other. The morality of the terrain beings, and the domains of morality beings. 

Dragons run the whole spectrum from creation to destruction. We see a lot more of the destruction dragons, because our kids are in a war, but Raxtus hits really close to the Fairies and can heal and grow with his breath weapon. We also have wizards, who chose mortality for the ability to use magic to create. All the way to effing Navarog, honorary demon. They run every shade of the creation/destruction spectrum. We also see dragons that don’t depend on destruction because we know that there are some that agreed to behave if it meant they weren’t shoved into sanctuaries. 

Sky giants, the group we know the least about, are good enough that their queen was deemed able to be the caretaker of a dragon sanctuary, so no inherent thirst for destruction and chaos. But they run the neutral side of creation, they weren’t going to step in to stop the demons, they like magic and creating from what we know of thronis, but they fit right here. 

Underking - fall between neutral destruction. The underking wasn’t orchestrating the opening of the demon prison. They crave life, its a food source, but more than that, they want to endure. They might fall closer to demons in their taste for extinguishing life, but they need their wanting of life to continue existing. They might have individual prizes and desires for life, but because they depend on wanting life for their own continued existence, they will never organize themselves into taking over the world. Congrats, you’re only half as destructive as demons.

The morality on the terrain is much easier to see blatantly. Fairies have wings, but in no way do they control the sky, and they live on the ground. Demons...I’m sure some of them fly, but they tend to prefer caves like Granulas and pits like Jubaya and Kurisok. Prefer the night, though the light doesn’t harm them. Fittingly, the Fair Folk do not have the ability to fly on their own, and they live on the ground, not under it. 

sO SATISFying how those fit together. Are you weeping yet? This is harmony on the organizational level. 

But I claimed this was the perfect symbol, the ultimate. There is one more layer describing how every piece relates to every other piece, per the best symbols. 

Opposites

This is the least defined level of interaction, and each line is unique, while still being opposite its counterpart. We’ll start with the ones we have the least information about and go from there. 

Demon/sky giant: We know nothing, at the moment. They have never commented on each other, and have never interacted. Why didn’t sky giants show up to the Zzyzx party? Who knows! So I’m going to speculate here, and propose that they just really can’t stand each other’s presence. Demons stay away from sky giants, because giants are way bigger than them, and it is hard to feel powerful when you only come up to their knee, and sky giants don’t like demons because...eww, demons. 

Fair Folk/Dragon: We know that there are Fair Folk at all seven dragon sanctuaries. We know that the Fair Folk were there long before the sanctuaries were created. Fair Folk neutrality let both parties trust the dragons to part of their watch. It also seems that Dragons have a very difficult time staying neutral. We’ve seen a lot of flavors of dragon, but the one flavor we haven’t seen, possibly by its nature, is a neutral dragon. The closest we came was Dromadus, who was an abstaining pacifist for two books, but kept lending help to the innocent and those aligned with the innocent. His neutrality broke literally the week someone asked him to break it.

 Fascinatingly, the talents of the Fair Folk are actually the closest analog to the breath weapons of the dragons. One unique ability, can be augmented by training, can do something unique to the characteristics of the user. This is enough to make their uses of magic foils for each other in ways that they can’t be with the other races. In fact, they take human shape, their wizards act a lot like the talents of the Fair Folk.

Their final opposite string: physical appearance. Fair Folk are attractive (symetrical) humans. Dragons are hulking reptiles of scale and claw meant to let everyone who can see them know who is the top predator around. Fair folk are disarmingly beautiful. 

Fairy/Underking: The dichotomy that we know the most about because it’s the one the protagonists find themselves on opposite side of. I could double the length of this post talking about these opposite foils, but this is already ridiculously long, so I’ll keep it brief. Consult upcoming thesis for full analysis.

Most obvious aspect of this line? They literally cannot co-exist, one must overpower the other. Nova Songs are consumed by darkness, while crown-fueled Kendra literally turns the undead into bones and dust. The darkness and light can’t balance like the demon cursed area + Fairy shrine stone did in Shadow Plague, there is no middle ground.

While fairies and demons make the creation-destruction spectrum, Fairy and Underking make the Life-death line. Unicorns, who have so much life and youth that lectoblixes overdose to death on them, and the undead that give up the joys light and live to continue. Because Death lasts as long as life. 

And finally my favorite line of opposites, their crowns functions in exactly the opposite ways. The under-crown does not share power. It accumulates, you become one of consciousness of the crown. They swallow you up, and you will never take power from them. They will continue. Meanwhile the Fairy crown has had several owners, as identified by Risenmay in dw2. And the Fairy Crown shares magic in a way that the other crowns don’t. The fairy Queen shared her magic with Kendra, yes, but she also shared it with her husband. All the male fairies fell with the Fairy King, turning permanently into imps. Unless the Fairy Queen isn’t being honest about how that happened, that meant that the male half of the kingdom was under the authority of her husband when he fell. Which makes sense for this crown. One person can’t make a new person on their own, they have to have a male and a female genetic coding. For the crown that is all about creating and preserving life, that power isn’t meant to be wielded alone. The Fairy crown can share, can give, while the Undercrown can consume and take. They are complete opposites in this.

Conclusion

Thank you for reading through this preliminary thesis. Counterpoints, additions, and commentary are welcome. I want to flesh this out a little more before sending my transcendent, beautiful, unifying symbol to Mull and have him announce that I have officially cracked the code. Really tho, the fact that I can pull this together into a unifying symbol is pretty cool in terms of Mull’s worldbuilding. 

Well...only works if he acknowledges the forgotten crown. Dragonwatch 5: the Crown of Selona. I can’t wait. 

[orionsangel86]

So, after a long conversation with super-powerful-queen-slaynna, whom you can thank for me sending this message, so like... if you like it good, if you don't blame them, I do want to apologize for assuming you were saying people can't talk about Destiel, its shippers and how much they dislike it in their group chats. That's what the post came off to me, as if you were policing what people could and couldn't say in these GC about Destiel. Slaynna made me realiza that you meant your post as a 1/2

warning to Destiel shippers who might wander into them. I understand this, because whenever a Destiel shipper follows me, I make it a point to warn them my blog might not be a positive space for them precisely to avoid this sort of unplesant interactions. It also came off as you were invalidating and dismissing the bad experiences people might have had with misbehaving Destiel shippers, which I'm sure you're nice enough NOT to do. My beef is really not with you, or Tink, or any other Destiel 2/?

meta writer, my beef is with shippers who are genuinely hateful and do hateful things. You simply came off as you didn't believe there are Destiel shippers who do these things at all. That say, I won't apologize for venting to like-minded people about my utter dislike for the ship, because we do in fact do that. But I don't think it's fair you walked in on us at that point and extrapolated that's all we do. BTW there is in fact an Anti-Destiel GC and the irony is, if you had walked into that 3/4

one 24hrs earlier, you would have in fact found people gushing about Megstiel and Sastiel, LMAO. 4/4

...

Okay, I’ll give you pointers for being bold enough to come explain this in my ask box, and I commend @super-powerful-queen-slayyna for reaching out to try to calm the stormy seas. I am most likely not going to make any further comments on that post anyway because it has blown out of control and has escalated into a full blown ship war post which I never wanted when I sent it. It’s now Destiel shippers and my friends trying to defend me or people blatantly calling me names and using unnecessary language which I am not even going to acknowledge or give the time of day as I don’t go in for that sort of childish name calling (unless you count my use of the word bronly but some things I think even we can agree are a necessary evil).

My post was a response to my own hurt and irritation at coming across two GCs, one for Sastiel, and one for Megstiel, which were both recommended to me by Tumblr, which were not tagged as anti-Destiel that I could see, that appeared on the surface to simply be places for people to discuss and squee over those ships. In both GCs I saw nothing but hate and lies and other upsetting comments about Destiel and Destiel shippers. It was extremely disheartening to see that in what on the surface appeared to be safe spaces. Because here’s the thing, these shipper GCs should be safe spaces. I have friends that are multishippers, that like Sastiel (and even the odd few who like Megstiel even though admittedly I don’t anymore.) There are plenty of other people out there in fandom that might like all three ships (I’d imagine those people simply want Cas to have all the love in which case SAME). 

To get one point very clear, I don’t actually care if people hate Destiel. I’m not going to preach to anyone about Destiel unless someone comes to me directly or comes scrolling my blog. I always tag Destiel so anyone who uses Tumblr blacklist should be able to avoid my blog completely. I would never intentionally go looking in an anti Destiel chat group. I’ve seen it all before anyway and it’s the same old arguments that really don’t affect my shipping preferences or my beliefs. 

What annoyed me was that those GCs were not anti Destiel chats. They were Megstiel and Sastiel chats. They were places where impressionable young Megstiel and Sastiel shippers could come across, who have zero feelings towards Destiel, and find themselves being told a bunch of lies and nasty crap about Destiel shippers and the ship. They are places where Destiel shippers who like to ship those other ships too might come across and suddenly find themselves isolated and alienated, which only perpetuates retaliation from those Destiel shippers and potentially causes the hate that you stress is so virulent among Destiel shippers to begin with.

My post was a warning for multishippers who are also Destiel shippers or at least Destiel friendly, that those GCs were being used to spread hate about Destiel. It was also an FYI to the people in those GCs that their hatred was very much public, in case they weren’t aware. I tagged the ships because I wanted people who ship Megstiel and Sastiel to see it, especially if they are Destiel friendly, because yeah, I’d want them to avoid those GCs.

Yes I then got snarky. I claimed that this does kinda prove a point because no Destiel GC that I’ve seen includes a bunch of hate and nastiness aimed at other ships. Sure, there is a high chance that there are hateful Destiel shippers out there. There are certainly a lot of bitter people on Twitter who piss me off when they scream queerbaiting at the writers so yes, of course there are bad eggs. I was shocked that from what I saw, there was no squee or shared theories or excitement about the ships, just page after page of hate aimed at Destiel shippers. So yes, perhaps I happened upon both convos right when those topics cropped up (which would be rather coincidental) and perhaps I had just missed the topics that I was interested in checking out - the theories, the meta, the spec... That’s what I was interested in. Since these GCs are a way to keep a finger on the pulse of what the fandom might be thinking in terms of the show and shipping and I was curious. Believe it or not I actually like to keep an open mind even though Megstiel is something that gives me a bad taste in my mouth ever since I sat myself down and truly thought about it. 

I generalised. I know I shouldn’t have done that, but those GC convos pissed me off. I don’t know a single Destiel shipper who would spend hours of their day just ranting about how awful Megstiel shippers are and how much they hate the pairing. I HAVE debated with friends about the suspected infiltration of the Megstiel ship by Bronlies who are using Meg to get Cas out of the way and to be spiteful towards Destiel shippers. This IS something that has been happening in recent years and I think even you admitted that in one of your replies to my post.

I also wasn’t trying to invalidate your experience with hate. I would never do that. The one thing I will say about anon hate in particular is that you don’t know who it is coming from. I occasionally get anon hate but I certainly don’t immediately assume it’s a w*ncest shipper just because I can’t stand w*ncest. Getting a message in your ask box that says “go kill yourself” is horrible, believe me, I know. But if that’s all it is, you can’t assume the sender was a shipper at all. Unless the message was “I ship Destiel and you can go kill yourself” you just can’t assume. If you have had actual Destiel shippers come and attack and threaten you and send you those messages directly then 1. I am so so sorry because no one deserves that kind of abuse, and 2. I hope you exposed them if you could. Because if there is one thing I have learnt about the Destiel shippers in MY circles, it’s that we find that kind of behaviour completely unacceptable and we WILL call it out from our own side if we see it. 

The reason I have such a high opinion of Destiel shippers being the “nice” people in fandom is simply because I have never seen that kind of behaviour from them. I interact with a lot of people. I have seen Destiel shippers get overly passionate, I have seen them get upset and angry when people lash out at them. I have seen them turn bitter and negative and go off on rants about the show. I have seen them dog pile on an anti’s post to provide evidence against a false claim “Kripke said he’s straight” and I thought it was a bit much... but it wasn’t hate. It was a reaction to years and years and years of being laughed at, called delusional, mocked and ridiculed by all other sides within the fandom. Destiel shippers are desperate for validation. They are desperate to disprove the lies. If people actually listened to us, or read the countless posts that have been written clearly providing evidence and sources to disprove every lie and false claim against Destiel perhaps we wouldn’t be so defensive. That’s what happens when you’ve been gaslighted for 11 years. 

But regardless, I’m not here to get involved in shipping wars. You’ll continue going on hating Destiel, and I will continue going on and, well, not hating, but very much disliking Megstiel in canon (though I have read some very sweet Destiel fics where Meg is Cas’s best friend and enjoyed the characterisations there.) 

My post was never to gatekeep and stop you from ranting about Destiel. Rant away to your hearts content. As I said above I really don’t care if people hate it. All I ask, is that you keep that kind of content in places that are clearly labelled as anti Destiel. So that should a Destiel shipper want to check out a Sastiel or a Megstiel GC, they can do, without feeling completely unwelcome and hated on just for enjoying Dean and Cas’s relationship as well. I really don’t think that’s too much to ask. All it takes is one tag right? Create your Megstiel GC and by all means rant about Destiel in it, but please just tag it as Anti Destiel.

Thank you for reaching out to me and explaining your side of things. I do appreciate it. 

[qforqazaq]

Ninety One – Men Emes

Okaaaay, people, here comes a long-awaited comeback from Ninety One that screamed, no, shouted so much culturally significant meta at me I could barely handle it. Ironically, when I was watching reactions to this MV, most people were so bloody oblivious to anything that was happening on the screen that I was painfully restraining myself not to slam my head on the table, but then remembered "oh, right, that's why I'm running this blog in the first place."

Okay, let's start with the video, shall we?

The opening scene is obviously with Alem because if 91's song doesn't start with Alem there's something definitely wrong with it.

Anyway, we have Alem looking like a mo-fo mafia boss, a Kazakh Don, if you like, in an office that's practically littered with KZ references. First, your eyes might catch those weird looking symbols on the desk, which are actually Orkhon-Yenisei runes - a script of Old Turkic tribes aka one of the direct ancestors of Kazakhs - that I was going to talk about for ages, but didn't have a good excuse to. So thank you Ninety One for bringing that up, I can unleash my inner linguistics nerd upon people regarding the subject in a separate post. The runes are actually read from right-to-left (because that's how it works) as "l" and "r", although I'm not sure of their implied meaning here. My theory that means just that: "left" and "right", for whatever deep reason.

So, while you're admiring Alem's outfit and hairstyle as he's showing off his results of perfecting The Stare™ (I had a theory his stares are so intent because his contact lenses keep drying up and it's his attempts not to blink much when cameras are on), you notice not only that Samsung is the main sponsor of this production (is it surprising?), but also that there's a picture of random people on the background, and a funny-looking statue next to the window. Except for that is not a picture of random people, that is actually a photo of the leaders of the Kazakh national movement/autonomy against Communists in the 1910s - Alash Orda, which I'm probably going to elaborate on in another post. For now, I'll just say that these were the writers, poets, social and political activists, the Kazakh Intelligentsia™, who were later prosecuted and repressed by the Soviet regime. Very important addition to the set if you ask me, and very deliberately chosen.

As for the funny-looking statue, that is a miniature "Balbal" of Kültegin or Kül Tigin, who was the General of the Second Turkic Khanate of the same Old Turkic people who used to write in the aforementioned Orkhon-Yenisei runic script. We can talk about it later on, for now, I can only say that 10 seconds into the video and my inner history nerd was screaming very much delightedly at these references. Didn't expect that much meta in such a short amount of time, eh? And we didn't even mention how cigars are allowed now, along with the whiskey-looking tea in a tumbler.

Anyway, then we are abruptly cut to AZ and, shortly after, ZAQ with an eagle. And no, it's not just a "lol, look, a bird", that's the Golden Eagle, a species that was trained and used for eagle hunting by the Kazakh nomads for centuries. Which is why we have it on our flag too. Btw, extra kudos to ZAQ for delivering his lines while having an eagle on his arm without its hood. I would have been more than slightly concerned if I were him.

If you don't know much about that aspect of nomadic life in Central Asia, I recommend watching the critically acclaimed documentary film The Eagle Huntress about Aisholpan - a 13 y.o. Kazakh girl from Mongolia being the first female mastering the art. FYI, it is narrated by Daisey Ridley aka Rey from Star Wars. Watch it.

The scene is black and white, and AZ and ZAQ are wearing suits which look very agreeable.

Then, we have the bridge that is delivered by very blond Bala, which isn't the best look on him in my opinion, but he's wearing a suit too, which is always a good idea. Bala, you must know, has perfected his camera acting and now successfully flirting with it without so much as breaking a sweat. Good job Juz, you know what you're doing.

Now, when we're done sharing niceties, can we, please, focus on the background - which is, of course, all lofty and fiery - specifically, on those symbols carved on the wall? And what are they? Yes, you guessed right: the Orkhon-Yenisei runes, yay. FYI, it says "QAZAQ", in its very palindromic fashion - the meaning here, I assume, is quite self-explanatory.

In one of the cuts we see that Bala is actually there with a dog. And, guess what, it's not just a dog, it's actually a Tazy - the Kazakh national hunting breed, of which, quite frankly, I did not know anything before researching for this MV. See, even I'm being educated here, I feel so enlightened.

After that, we have the chorus, and all five of them are first standing and then walking like a bloody band of gangsters, all suited and effortlessly cool, as if towards an important tét-a-tét with a competing band. My immediate association was Crows: Zero (I'm sure, my fellow Japanese weeboos get what I mean) - lots of shonen swag and badassery. I approve.

In the meanwhile, Bala is showing off his moves, again, very at ease, chill and relaxed.

Chorus moves to the second part of the song with another rap verse from ZAQ. Do you remember that set in the previous black-and-white scene with the rappers? This one is that same set i.e. a carcass and insides of a Yurt - a traditional nomadic portable house used by Kazakhs for centuries. We see ZAQ sitting in what looks like a Khan's throne with battle spears and fur skins of wild animals. And no, nobody is trying to offend animal rights activists and humanists, just trying to showcase the culture here, alright? As you've noticed hunting has always had cultural significance for Kazakhs, and, well, it's survival in the bloody Eurasian steppes we're talking about here, with windy -50°C in the winters you've got to wear something to protect from freezing over, you know.

ZAQ delivers his lines in his usual very efficient fashion, and we cut to Ace walking over to the race track, very stylishly so that it might as well be a car commercial, to a parked Ford Mustang (and, yay, we've got a budget for a nice car now!) that's drifting its tires out in the shots in-between. Did I mention Ace's wearing a suit? I'm telling you, a car commercial.

I have a feeling that a Mustang was chosen deliberately, a subtle shoutout to horses as another culturally significant symbol and animal for Kazakhs. They could've gone for a Ferrari for the sheer visual effect of it, but I suppose Samsung is generous, but not that much.

And then, we have a chorus with a dance break. Interestingly, despite the numerous cuts and camera angles, and even blinding background lights that obscure the view, I did not mind how the dance was shot. The choreography itself is nothing short of cool: very laid-back, effortless, with easy open moves and a masterfully feigned nonchalance. I know I'm using cool and effortless a lot, but what can I do, they are the keywords for this MV. I like those claps btw, remind me of hilarious dances in Kazakh weddings lol. Very ironic. In either case, my compliments to Asiya for her work, bravo.

While you're still getting over the choreography, you're introduced to AZ casually lying among many ladies in night gowns, and yes, we now are allowing this too along with cigars and whiskey-looking teas in tumblers. Don't get me wrong, AZ is wearing a modest pair of black silk shirt with black trousers (can't say the same about his wild tricoloured mess of hair), and evidently still can't take his hands off his nose (he does keep rubbing it), but the whole scene, the wide shot of it, looks so unapologetically hedonistic that it might as well be a Gucci Guilty commercial. Well, Ninety One definitely went all Gucci in this MV, so associations are unsurprising. Scrumptious.

The only cultural reference we've got here is the neon rune "r" on the background when AZ is sitting up.

Then, it goes back to the chorus with the guys standing with more fire in the background. There are other cuts from previous scene including the one with Alem throwing off 10000 Tenge bills with that photo on the back while staring into the camera.

Conclusion? A+ to the production team, especially set designers, Bibotta for the styling, and Yerbolat for knowing what looks good and what doesn't.

All and all, it was a good MV, a good break from artificially colourful secluded studio sets.

Now let's move to the music.

The song starts with, what I thought, those weird sounds from some Japanese instruments, but upon hearing the chorus my immediate reaction was "wait, is it a hip-hop beat from the early 2000s?"

Honestly, it isn't a very pop song. It screams hip-hop, and I dare say, this song was meant to be performed by the rappers only, which was somewhat proven true given that AZ and ZAQ were both writers and composers of Men Emes. Its hip-hop nature shows even in the structure: there are no vocal verses, only a bridge and a chorus performed by the vocalists, and everything else is just rap. And oh my, that's some rap, indeed.

First, can we just address, that once again the rappers of 91 managed to sneak up another controversial line bordering with vulgarity? I am talking about the first two lines of AZ's rap here, those who don't know what I am talking about, ask me about it later. The audacity though, huh. In either case, that got an incredulous chuckle out of me upon realisation. Congratulations, boys, mischief's managed.

AZ was his extravagant self in general, wouldn't say he brought a lot of literary value in this track, to be honest. Well, especially compared to ZAQ (and it is always difficult to compete with ZAQ's lyrics), who's just unleashed the study of "how many words and rhymes with "u" and "ü" sounds I can shove into one rap verse while making it sound intelligible and meaningful." And did so successfully, I must say. Personally was always astonished how masterfully he manages to use the vowel harmony - one of the linguistic traits of the Kazakh language - weaving syllables to the whole other level of wordplay. Lyrically, all cultural references in the MV seem justified, given how ZAQ is lamenting over how "his nation is moving with a snail speed" and such. With this, he is brushing the socio-political problems in the country, it seems. And it is very promising, as in this country high profile artists don't risk doing that.

(Btw, a mention of Surtur was another delightful nod to my inner nerd who loves Norse Mythology, and a reference to Cthulhu was rather amusing. Lovecraft wouldn't've minded.)

I had many problems with voices in this track. For some reason, I couldn't recognise half of them. I only clearly heard Bala, Ace's voice became obvious only when he moved to an octave higher, and I didn't even realise it was Alem singing in the beginning. Was very shocked to know that it was ZAQ, not AZ, rapping with that higher voice in the second part before switching to his usual old school style. We're trying different things, I see, though I wouldn't mind them toning down their tuner game a bit. I know who's singing what now only thanks to the MV.

To sum up, it's a very different 91 song. Not that it's very astounding in its originality with blending different genres in one as you'd expect, but it's probably refreshing to hear something bold, audacious, yet simple, very hip-hopesque circa 2001 from them. It seems they're deliberately trying to diversify their audience throwing a track like that. Which isn't bad at all, I rather enjoyed it. (By the way, those drums in the bridge section sounded almost tribal. Just saying.)

Despite the MV and song screaming "WEALTH", "SWAG", "COOL" and "SUAVE", I do not actually think it was only about showing off. Well, of course, a part of the message was a la "look what I've got in the end, despite all your judgement" with "you're not me" and all that. However, I think it was also targeting and mocking the spoiled kids of corrupt government officials or just corrupt rich "bosses" in general who always act as if rules and law are not made for them. "Yeah, you're cool, but not the coolest, might be rich, but not the richest, and even good-looking but not really. Don't be so full of yourself, you're not the centre of the universe" kind of message. And that imagery of Alem as a mafia boss in his office is juxtaposed with all those cultural artifacts hinting on what is actually more important and valuable, especially with the Kazakh cultural leaders of the 20th century watching from the picture on the wall. And Alem throws those bills as if saying "yes, I'm doing that, but it's just money, so what." Even AZ looks somewhat lost and empty-eyed lying there among girls when he's not trying to convince you how envious you should be right now.

Probably it's me reading too much into this, I don't know, but the MV only amplified the feeling that you've got to read between the lines, it isn't all about bragging.

For now I'll give the MV 9 out of 10, and the song is a solid 7.

Peace out ✌️

[ua-monoma]

[[ hi here’s a text convo me and dani were having during the iimono text convo woohoo feelings ]]

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 4:16 AM

iida's definition of alright is "im not completely hurting to the point where it is hard to do or think abt anything else"

rickyLast Sunday at 4:17 AM

THATS A BAD DEFINITION IIDA

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 4:17 AM

if he can do his duties without being hindered he's "alright"

rickyLast Sunday at 4:18 AM

like tbh monoma's big feels rn are like 

 1) i wanna communicate but it feels like iida doesnt actually communicate with me ever 

2) i wanna be honest but it feels like iida isnt being honest with me 

3) i've been opening up a lot which im! proud of!! i can face my emotions now! but iida isnt facing HIS emotions with me and i thought uHh being a couple means we do that together so i guess i'll go fuck myselfsdfskhdgbg

but ALSO from an outside perspective iida Does Communicate and Is Honest... way more than monoma perceives it but monoma sucks. at being able to identify it

A L S O he cant stand iida taking care of him so much sfhgbsfbhsg hes starting to feel rly coddled and he Does Not Like It

and thats largely just cuz hes so unstable and feels guilty about it now that hes more aware of it and wants to either just shut down and stop emoting around iida or, like, he wants to get to take care of iida if/when he ever breaks down cuz then it'll be Equals

kdfgdfhbdfgs i just had a hunch and it was right, monoma is actually older than iida sdfbjhgs

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 4:22 AM

WAIT HE IS

HES OLDER,

rickyLast Sunday at 4:27 AM

but yeah i think the other thing is that monoma wants stuff from iida but like has not been able to rly voice it (i feel like this is the first time he has ever talked like This Much about emotional bullshit) but also TBH he feels brushed aside every time iida gives him one of his lil speeches

cuz he doesnt respond very well to positivity and also will just latch onto the negative aspects

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 4:30 AM

WOW then u have iida whos just like "dude im not a fuckign mind reader tell me what u want"

rickyLast Sunday at 4:30 AM

WHICH I KNOW BUT HE'S WORKING ON IT.....

iida: communicate pls monoma: ok heres a big rambling post about stuff i feel iida: ok thats nice. can you communicate with me pls tho monoma: I JUST DID HSDFKGGBDFSG I'LL JUST GO FUCK MYSELF THEN I GUESS--

^ is how he feels

also hes scared of the Boyfriend Conversation

which i think i've told you before, hes scared cuz of the sex addiction thing but also,

ppl keep coercing him to sex and he doesnt wanna date iida and then be coerced into Officially Cheating,,, pseudo cheating isnt acceptable either but at least like,,, hes Technically not betraying him,

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 4:36 AM

THE RAMBLING THING isnt clear to iida bc its like yes that is how he feels but he is not telling me What He Wants From Me

rickyLast Sunday at 4:37 AM

YEAH thats what i noticed today +_+!!!

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 4:38 AM

its like monoma is offering his stance but not a solution or a compromise

rickyLast Sunday at 4:38 AM

monoma doesnt rly know that's what he's supposed to do hjbsjfsg

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 4:38 AM

does iida have to spell it out

rickyLast Sunday at 4:38 AM

y es

like, the last thing iida said kind of made monoma be like

wait lemme look at it again

ok he said he wanted to know the reasons behind his actions and monoma was like,,,,wha--

cuz... 1) theres like never actually a reason and 2) he didnt know iida wanted that from him

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 4:40 AM

H

rickyLast Sunday at 4:40 AM

like monoma barely even recognizes half his actions cuz theyre all based on impulses and tbh if nobody pointed them out he'll just move on like nothing's happened

like he compartmentalizes,,, s o much,,,,,, and then represses it like instantly like TBH

like barely anyone talks about monoma's growing alcoholism so he just keeps doing that, and no one has had the chance to tell him to stop communicating with villains so he kept doing that too but like. Because it wasnt pointed out he barely has a problem with it and can function fine

everyone harps on him for the sex stuff tho so he's just like Drowning In Guilt

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 4:44 AM

is there literally-- any way iida can actually help him because, i just , wow

rickyLast Sunday at 4:44 AM

sfjgkdfg 

iida: here's a list of questions to communicate with, pls answer monoma: dissociates instantly 

whOH YEAH DEFINITELYi know that sounds all depressing sjhsdfghthe fix is honestly super easy tbh

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 4:45 AM

HE ASKED TWO WHOLE QUESTIO-jvhcfdjsjcxsdjhds

god im glad there is indeed a fix

rickyLast Sunday at 4:45 AM

I WAS TYPING UP MORE META I HAVENT GOTTEN TO IT YET

monoma's problem is literally just that he doesnt have the vocabulary for, like, anything

what he wants is an open relationship but he doesnt know what that is and TO BE QUITE FRANK his only knowledge of one is fucking sen and kosei

so like, he's only hesitating so much cuz he doesnt know how to voice what he wants cuz Tbh monoma hates not sounding smart and being emotive means bumbling around like an idiot

he still feels brushed off tho,

iida bls be sad around him more

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:02 AM

IIDA DOESNT LIKE BEING SAD

its weird for him

he always like

how do i put this

he takes his sadness, pisses on it, and sets it on fire

rickyLast Sunday at 5:02 AM

oh God i just realized iida is doing the same thing the guy i was gay for did FUCKMeJFBJHFBGDG

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:03 AM

oh he pissed on his  sadness too? worm

rickyLast Sunday at 5:03 AM

he did the 'im alright is actually crashing and burning in super slow motion for months at a time' thing

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:03 AM

iida is hollow more often than he is sad

1JDCKCDSNHSDSNDSCJ

rickyLast Sunday at 5:05 AM

meanwhile i had the loudly has breakdowns and then gets upset about being taken care of despite him insisting because of his Fetish for taking care of people thing

me: glares at iidas Fetish

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:06 AM

ok this is more of a hc but

iida likes taking care of ppl bc his parents rarely took care of him uwus

o hes like

rickyLast Sunday at 5:07 AM

CRIES

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:07 AM

being the Dad and Mom he never had

rickyLast Sunday at 5:07 AM

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

see that Sucks cuz my hc is that monoma was raised to be as self sufficient as possible as Fast as possible which meant wow we aint got time for emotions fam just Put Them In A Box

oh is the box overflowing, put the BOX in a BIGGER BOX

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:08 AM

emotionally stunted boys sure are great

rickyLast Sunday at 5:08 AM

i k r

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:08 AM

only in theory tho,

rickyLast Sunday at 5:08 AM

LOL

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:08 AM

irl i wouldve just

choked them

rickyLast Sunday at 5:09 AM

sobs angrily about iida

share your emotions biiiiiiitchhhh

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:09 AM

hits the back of monoma's head

rickyLast Sunday at 5:09 AM

hEY

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:09 AM

just tell him what u want u stupid fuckJCDFJDSSD

rickyLast Sunday at 5:09 AM

HE WANTS YOU TO SHARE HIS EMOTIONS HSFBGJHFGS HE SAID THAT!!!!AND IIDA WAS LIKE, NAH

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:10 AM

IIDA ISNT RLLY THAT SURE OF HIS EMOTIONS EITHER THATS WHY!!!

HE THINKS HES THIS BUT HES ACTUALLY SOMETHING ELSE

rickyLast Sunday at 5:10 AM

THATS MONOMAS PROBLEM TOO YOU BUTT DFHBSDFGJGSG

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:10 AM

FUCK

rickyLast Sunday at 5:11 AM

OHMY

GODSTRANGLES THEM BOTH

IIMONO: FEELINGS?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???????

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:11 AM

w iida its more like. he knows deep down but he doesnt , think , its important enough , to be addressed

rickyLast Sunday at 5:11 AM

i i d a b l s

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:11 AM

"as class rep i must be a leader before anything else!!!!!"

rickyLast Sunday at 5:12 AM

monoma is honestly like 'iida help this is the very first time in my life i have felt Guilt what am i supposed to do with this!!!!!!

iida: whats wrong monoma: IM SAD????  WHY DIDNT ANYONE EVER TELL ME WHAT A CONSEQUENCE WAS iida: ,

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:14 AM

JXVCDJXCDSAHJSDSDJ

rickyLast Sunday at 5:15 AM

and t b h he kind of is like, automatically expecting like... a Reward for getting this far but iida just kind of keeps being like 'okay cool. and what else'

and monoma is like HJSFBKHBFGS THAT TOOK ME 3 WEEKS TO FIGURE OUT B L S

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:28 AM

fuckcdncnddxjsn

rickyLast Sunday at 5:28 AM

,,,, in person or continue the text

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:29 AM

CCCCONTINUE...they rarely text god pls

rickyLast Sunday at 5:30 AM

TBH YEAH...

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:30 AM

iida has no Time for his phone he needs to read 30 chapters ahead so he doesnt fall behind!!!

rickyLast Sunday at 5:30 AM

monoma is Traumatized by all their other text convos so he doesnt--

im including the times when i post this btw because God Damn i love that its likefucking 5am over here

小林 未郁Last Sunday at 5:31 AM

GO TO BED?

rickyLast Sunday at 5:31 AM

this is 500% a 'im sad texting my bitchass pseudo bae about my feelings at fucking sunrise after they kept me up crying all night' conversation

whats a bed

[justasmallbloginabigklainefandom]

From Grey, chapter 6

Temperance_V: So this is a special blog post featuring a guest blogger, which I've never done before but it seemed like a pretty fun idea since *basically* we talk more than enough to do this without going out of our way anyway. So, this week the blog is in the form of this chat log between me and Paleanghostly, who's mostly active over in the 'ghostlanx' fandom.

Paleandghostly: You have to put the scare quotes around it to remind people that I basically devote my days to looking at pictures of superheroes like a fourteen year old, of course. TV: I think most of your gang spend more time staring at their butts than most fourteen year olds do, P&G. P&G: You might be surprised. I remember being fourteen. TV: Anyway, we met a while ago now when P&G commented on my blog to insult my taste in whiskey and was somehow sort of charming about how stupid I am, and we ended up chatting. Now we play chess over the mail. P&G: Actually over the mail, on actual paper. It's a thing. TV: I genuinely look forward to the letter sneering at my last move once a week. So we're here to discuss something we've already been talking about anyway but it's been a *particularly* interesting chat, so we thought we'd share some thoughts with the wider internet. So this discussion got kicked off by the fandom reaction to this photograph of the Ghost and Phalanx from I think three weeks ago now? P&G: They'll remember the fandom reaction. It's the kind of wank that's so much bigger than the incident that caused it ever could be. TV: I'm not actually in the 'ghostlanx' fandom, btw, I should put that disclaimer out for anyone who's reading this *from* that fandom. If I seem like a n00b, forgive me. P&G: Please god stop putting it in scare quotes. Temperance usually blogs about anything interesting in the media and reactions to the media, for those who have followed *me* from phandom, and it was during one of her posts on Mad Men that I found it necessary to educate her in what we drink and what we use to clean toilets with. And it's *whisky*, please tell me you are actually drinking the stuff that is worth drinking and is not overpriced rebottled mouthwash by now. TV: Moving on. The photograph is a candid caught behind a police van, and shows the Ghost and Phalanx in conversation with a police officer - in suit and tie, so I'm guessing a detective but he looks a little young for it. No-one appears to be trying to arrest anyone. You'd think that would be have been the main point of discussion, P&G? P&G: *snort* Have you *met* fandom? Get to the interesting substance of the issue? No! We want exactly what we want and we want it exactly when we want it, anything deviating from this is a cause of deep personal offence to me and the *entire internet must stop and feel my pain!!* TV: So, it wasn't the crime scene they *weren't* arrested at that most people were talking about (though presumably, the 'enemy' you actually face on the streets you have more in common with than you do your own boss in their high rise office; if I was police I think I'd think we had bigger problems than superheroes too). P&G brought the discussion to my attention via the medium of much swearing, because she has a lot of feelings about these things. P&G: Oh please do make me sound like one of them. The reason I drew Temperance's attention to the response was - well, threefold. One is that in terms of gender politics and misogyny and homophobia amongst those who claim to not be bigots it was *fascinating*. Slash depressing. Two is that it was an eyebrow-straining example of the fandom entitlement complex. Three is that it gives us a very interesting insight into their identity and how very un-black-and-white that is - because people are more complicated than their labels, always. TV: Let's deal with gender first, though these issues do run through each other. This all came about because of the Ghost's posture in the photograph. He's standing quite close to Phalanx, who's facing and speaking to the police officer - I'm sorry, is that police officer really tall or is he actually that short? It's kind of adorable. P&G: He's like the Swiss army knife of superheroes. Flexible crime fighter, folds into your pocket afterwards. TV: Phalanx is speaking, standing with his feet apart, hands apart, gesturing - something, to what he's saying. Possibly just emphasizing a word. No-one even mentioned how Phalanx was standing? P&G: No. Because the Ghost was innocently standing next to him. TV: The Ghost is standing with his left arm crossed over his chest - his cloak makes it a little hard to see, but he's probably supporting the opposite elbow with his hand, because his right hand is held up loosely at shoulder height, as if propped off a desk. And he's got his hip cocked, and his head tilted the other way, it's a great photograph actually, his posture's like a da Vinci composition. P&G: I knew I liked you for a reason. It is a great picture. It's just enormously aesthetically pleasing, Phalanx standing sort of open and easy, the Ghost a longer but narrower zig-zag of angles, eyes on him. Both the Ghost and the cop are looking at Phalanx; the Ghost's expression, as much as you can make it out under the hood and mask, looks attentive and relaxed. Like you would look at your lover, mid-sentence. What fandom chose to cry and cause wank over is, Jesus fucking Christ, the way he's standing. TV: It's not the most masculine posture in the world. P&G: Why the *fucking* hell should it be? TV: Let's go through this in bite-size chunks so it's not just a string of expletives again. Why, as succinctly as possible, did fandom start a flamewar over the Ghost standing like that? P&G: Because they, the idiot ignorant children, fetishize homosexuality in the most contorted and disturbing way possible. Because they're fine with him being gay - happy that he's gay, since they can use his name and form for all their little m/m fantasies on a whole different level of appropriation now. But how dare he, human being in his own life, how *dare* he not conform to strict gender stereotypes at the same time. He's perfectly well allowed to be gay, as long as he does it the 'right way'. God forbid he be any kind of queer that disturbs them, though. TV: There was a lot of negativity. P&G: They don't want to see a male hero stand in a 'feminine' pose. It demeans him. It makes him less heroic. TV: Because to be female is to be less, and to be a male imitating a female is possibly the worst thing it's possible to be. Some of the responses were genuinely unsettling, I read some of your replies to them. P&G: I might have been angry, but I do not disown a single word of what I said. Disgusting self-absorbed ignorant little shits deserved it. TV: But not everyone was so negative about it. P&G: No. Some of fandom is actually populated by feminists and not by people who think that they know what that word means but have never actually thought it through. And then some of fandom is populated by people who further fetishize his femininity in again the most contorted way possible. We kind of had perfect storm conditions for the wank after that. TV: You posted a short piece of meta about it at the time. P&G: I posted a rant, please don't dignify anything that happened during that shitstorm with a respectful title. I hammered out at my keyboard my undying rage that these people were treating him like a doll to dress up how they pleased, and then throwing tantrums when he failed to live up to what they'd dressed him up as in their heads, or subsuming him under the further homophobic, misogynist, *the opposite of accurate* image of him as a swooning 'heroine' in need of big strong Phalanx to 'rescue' him. TV: Little strong Phalanx. P&G: I sense some favoritism developing. TV: He's really cute now I've *looked* at him. Look, I'm not in this fandom, this is not my war to step into. But it *is* interesting. Because, obviously, there's a lot of misogyny involved in campophobia - even in the queer community, the feminine man is despised. P&G: Yes. A loud part of the queer community, weirdly, strives for heteronormativity. We focus on gay men and women as being 'normal', the way straight men and women are 'normal'. Possibly just because it makes us less threatening to straight people, or helps us deal with internalized homophobia, I don't know. But that 'normality' is a lie whether the person in question is gay or straight, these categories are weird, and troublesome, and some of them are actively steeped in hatred and lies. The only thing to do is let it go. 'Normal' has only ever been an illusion. It is all so much more complicated than that you would not *believe*. Let gender be whatever it will be, and stop trying to shame people into going about it the way you're comfortable with. People are who they are and they love who they love. No-one should ever have to sit in a labelled box that someone else nailed the lid down on. TV: Fandom's largely female and yet we still perpetuate the weird misogyny wrapped up in all of this. P&G: Fuck the patriarchy that lives in our own heads most of all. TV: And the weirdest part of it is, everyone knows who he is - he's a hero. There is so much photographic evidence of his extremebamfery that it was a struggle to narrow down which gifs to illustrate the point with. P&G: He haunted New York on his own for five years before Phalanx showed up. Criminals are terrified of him, there's enough documented evidence of that. He can take down a dozen guys all bigger than him and then stroll away when the cops arrive, the last man standing and still unarrested. He kicks so much ass and we've always admired that. He also just copes with what must be a frequently distressing and draining occupation - most of what he deals with on any individual night could be completely traumatic to many people. I admire his strength and bravery utterly. And somehow people cannot square that strength, bravery, and bamfery with the image of him standing with his hip cocked *like a girl*. TV: Because, really, the two just aren't connected. They literally have nothing to do with each other. It's not that either should make the other difficult, there is no logical inconsistency in his not being traditionally masculine and his simultaneously kicking lots of ass. P&G: No. It was never his testosterone-fuelled uber-manliness that kicked ass. It was him. Exactly as he is. He's the same person kicking ass as he is standing next to Phalanx, in what is to him an unconsciously comfortable position - it's only since Phalanx came along that he's started relaxing like that, btw, *that* is clearly what's comfortable to him, not that wary cloak-covered hunch he always wore before. And it says so much more about fandom, about *people*, than it does about *him* that people somehow cannot make the image of the butt-kicking man who stands 'like a woman' sit right. TV: Because - what, heroism is manly? Girls don't kick ass *like that*? Because like you said, there are those who emphasize and fetishize his femininity, and in so doing they often fail to capture the bamfy aspect of him. P&G: What this links in to is the fandom entitlement complex. TV: Go ahead, I can feel your need to preach. P&G: I have a rant brewing, if that's what you mean. The fandom entitlement complex links into fandom sexism in a really strange and powerful way. Because fandom feels like it *owns* its figures of fetishization; they are what they are because we made them that. There is an enormous sense of ownership, like they're just the scaffolding, *we* construct who they are. And of course, they can't live up to that. They're real people, not our dolls. And when they fail to live up to our particular construction we either ignore the facts and go on as before or else we get *really fucking angry*. How *dare* they be actual human beings. They're supposed to be *my doll*, not any real person. Especially not any complicated real person! They should be as simple as possible because I can't conceptualize more than three personality traits in my head at any one time, I am *actually* that dumb! TV: Ahem. Plus we live in a patriarchal society and we construct our dolls along the strict and misogynist gender lines given to us, which oversimplifies them in very dangerous ways. P&G: That's what worries me about many of the people who make the Ghost out to be 'girly' - they're often people who obviously really *identify* with the Ghost, and they still make him out to be weak. So what does that say about the psychology of some women in this world, that society taught us to hate ourselves so *effectively* that we even want our *heroes* to just be rescued, that when we use him as a stand-in for ourselves in *fiction* we still *make him weak*? Because the fic and meta where the Ghost is effeminate *and* is the still the strong, life-saving hero - well, I've rarely found it under the sheer mass of 'basically all the Ghost really wants is for Phalanx to *save* him' fic. TV: I mean, ouch, but yeah. It explains the bizarre popularity of misogynist romance fiction written for women by women, after all. P&G: Mm. So we construct our dolls as manly male heroes, and then throw a shitfit when the queer man actually turns out to be *too* queer. Or we construct them as weak and flimsy *caricatured* women with dicks, who angst and cry and need a more masculine partner to 'rescue' them. The entitlement complex is so strong that we either write over them with our own images - rewrite the Ghost entirely, forget that he kicks ass, forget his *strength*, because a 'girly' man could never be strong because *girls aren't strong* - or we rage and scream about all our butthurt that the hero turned out to not be a cardboard cut out MAN. The part where he's a hero - do I actually need to remind people that he stopped New York being blown up? (with Phalanx; they are partners, after all) - who is both 'feminine' and 'masculine', because we all are, because those labels fix to characteristics and not to people, *that* part gets forgotten. We want them to be what *we want them to be*. We forget that they're not obliged to be a damn thing for anyone except themselves. And often people in writing their definitions of other people do want to wipe queerness out. They want us to go back to that gender dichotomy. They either want him to be a 'man' (caricatured) or to be basically a 'woman' (caricatured) in male form, but they can't *stand* that he's actually just a human being, and human beings are difficult. TV: No middle ground? P&G: Are you shitting me? This is fandom. TV: So tell us how to fix this, great wise Ghostly. P&G: I appreciate your sarcasm so, so dearly. There is middle ground, I was being facetious. There was a small, feminist, pro-queer faction fighting this corner as loudly and rationally as they could. And Blackbindings - one of the fanficcers in the ghostlanx fandom - wrote a piece after that photograph was published called Graduation, which tried to actually ignore the wank and deal with what the photograph *did* teach us about the relationship between the Ghost and Phalanx. Because all that wank is nothing like the most interesting part of that photograph. In this fandom, *everyone* should have responded to that photograph how Blackbindings did, but unfortunately she's the only one with the brains to see what's actually important. TV: I haven't read the fic. P&G: It's a meditation - all of her fics are strolls around a subject, giving you new angles and a wider perspective to actually *see* something from, I swear she makes me realize I have my eyes *closed* half the time. It's a meditation on the balance of 'power' in their relationship. What power means, and doesn't mean, and how it doesn't have to dominate, those who have power can *share* it. We think of it like it's a limited resource but why can't everyone be powerful, if it's the right kind of power? It's about their teacher/student relationship. TV: You're going to have to explain that for those of us who aren't in the fandom. P&G: Tell me what you think it might mean from looking at that photograph. TV: I don't know. The Ghost is standing slightly behind Phalanx's shoulder, relative to that cop. It could just be that the way Phalanx is gesturing has knocked their shoulders out of alignment. It could be that Phalanx has *put* himself between them. It could be that the *Ghost* put Phalanx between them. It could be that Phalanx is taking the lead and the Ghost is happy with that. It could be that the Ghost is watching over him . . . P&G: Yes. It could be all of those things. And not one of us mentioned it because we were just too fucking busy screaming about the Ghost standing like a girl. The Ghost was there first, and it's pretty long been assumed by many that they had a teacher/apprentice role - the classic superhero/sidekick relationship. But it becomes obvious in that photograph - and when you look back, there's a lot of other pictorial evidence for it - that it's really not that simple, and maybe it never has been. TV: You know I love it when you elaborate. P&G: I'm sexy when I'm verbal. When you look back through gifs and photosets, whenever they're dealing with crime victims, the Ghost tends to be in front. His attention is all on the victim and Phalanx is looking at *him*. When they're dealing with criminals they're usually side by side and their attention is focused on the threat. But whenever they're dealing with anybody else - cops, reporters, fans, bystanders - usually Phalanx is the one in front and talking, and usually, the Ghost isn't looking at who they're dealing with, his gaze and his posture are orientated towards *Phalanx*. The Ghost often isn't even fully visible in those situations. Look at that photograph again; Phalanx is standing very at ease and in control of the situation, very relaxed being the one talking, and the Ghost is looking at *him*. This is not a hero/sidekick relationship. They have strengths and weaknesses and they complement each other. They actually are, in every sense of the word, partners. TV: That's quite sweet actually. P&G: If you're contemplating joining the fandom I advise you not to, it's populated mostly by cretins and children. Blackbindings is special. Very special, actually. She does cryptic crosswords for *shiggles*, I don't know if you've ever looked at one but they are torture for the mind. But it affects her brain in interesting ways. She called it 'Graduation', because partly the fic is about how they educate each other, empower each other (of course education is empowering: in her fic, knowledge elevates). But the fic is also very steeped in color terms. It gives it a really physical, sensual, *there* atmosphere, almost close enough to touch, and it was only when I remembered her twisty-turny cryptic little brain that I realised that 'graduation' is only a letter away from 'gradation'. It's the sort of thing she'd notice and play on, cunning little creature that she is. The way hues run into each other. There is no dividing line. The labels are a lie. Strictly, once you realize how difficult drawing a line between colors is, there aren't any *colors*; there's just *color*, and we fumble through labelling instances of it as best we can, pretending that the labels create real categories. They, the Ghost and Phalanx, are so much more complicated than anything we can paint them. Their identities are human identities and the labels are a *lie*. It's not that the labels aren't labelling something real but that they're only labelling *parts* of people when they are *wholes*. They are complex. They live in a world of gradations. They're not superhero/sidekick except for when they are, but who is which is a very blurry thing. Isn't it for all of us? TV: I can't tell if you're a fan of ghostlanx or of Blackbindings right now. P&G: Probably both. Sometimes I just contemplate that her mind exists and give a satisfied sigh that the world *must* be a reasonable place after all . . . TV: We should probably get back to the wank we were discussing. Did you have any closing thoughts on the subject? P&G: Just that being a fan is a very peculiar thing. We never know the person that we 'love' so much, though I do think that that love is often very sincere and fierce-felt, but we only actually know the doll we made of them in our own heads - with masked heroes the problem intensifies. And what we should do is be relaxed, and accept that people are always more complicated than we think they are - this has wider implications than fandom alone - and discuss these things in a way such that we can *learn* from it. Because learning, and the openness to strange new things that learning requires, empowers. The close-mindedness that treats people as characters to be owned by us, that demands simplicity where simplicity is an act of psychological aggression, that sense that we're entitled to special access to their identities almost more than they themselves are - all those things harm both them and *us* in thinking like that. And if people could not be dicks about gender norms that would also be really cool. TV: Indeed. The sheer scale of the meltdown is something to be appreciated, I dabbled in to take a look and - whoa, basically. P&G: It's a big fandom, when we make wank we make a *masterpiece* of wank. Still, most people did stay out of it. The sensible majority who just duck their heads and reblog gifs whenever the shit starts flying. TV: And do you have this week's move ready yet? P&G: It's in the mail, and you really should have seen it coming. TV: We'll see. So next week I'll probably be discussing US remakes of other countries' movies and TV shows, unless something more interesting happens in the meantime. P&G: Oh god, don't even get me started on that bullshit. TV: And it looks like you'll probably see Paleandghostly in the comments section next week too, ahem. Thank you for your contribution this week, P&G, couldn't have done it without you. P&G: You're more than welcome. I hope it was educational, at least insofar as discouraging people from irritating me quite so much. TV: See you guys next week, signing off!

[bassfanimation]

The Final Problem: Eurus’s crash therapy session

I've written one post talking about how my husband viewed the “I Love You” scene in The Final Problem.  I wanted to write some more, as we’ve discussed TFP in depth together.  We talk a lot about the media we consume because A) we're nerds, and B) our views are usually quite different.  

It's also nice to have a male perspective on things, as it sometimes can shed some light where my female brain just bumbles around in the dark and stubs it's toe on the Feels Dresser.  My husband views things very textually, but he is also fantastic at thinking about stuff on a meta level.  It’s nice because he has no ulterior motives either, no shipper goggles or anything.  I'm going to write a bit about his theories about TFP and what it all meant in his eyes.  I'll add my own views as well, for comparison.  This is going to be a long af post, so strap in!

(Disclaimer: this post may contain more shippy talk than you want, because I am a major Sherlolly/Molly Hooper lover, but you can also disregard my feelings and read for the hell of it.)

My hub said he views The Final Problem as the final case for Sherlock, which is essentially, solving himself.  I remember when Mary's video appeared, and she said she was giving him the toughest case of his life.  I seriously thought it was going to be for Sherlock to solve himself, which is the hardest thing for any person to do...to know yourself.  Instead we got something equally wonderful, but a bit easier to solve: how to mend Sherlock's friendship with John and save him from eternal despair.   Thankfully, Sherlock was a rousing success. He solved it.

"The next one won't be so easy." -Eurus Holmes, The Final Problem

The Final Problem, as my dude talked about it, is about the Holmes family, but mostly Eurus.  It was about Eurus trying to go 'home', only she couldn't.  She had to unlock the one person who could "save her soul", as the song puzzle went.  In order to do that...she had to literally break down Sherlock's walls.  Each major emotional wall he'd built was because of Eurus, so only she could break them down.  Only she was smart enough, and ruthless enough, to accomplish this.  

“You know the problem with disguises? No matter how hard you try, it’s always a self portrait.” -Irene Adler, A Scandal in Belgravia

It's very fitting that Eurus chose to reveal herself while she was disguised as a therapist, because TFP was in essence, a crash therapy session for Sherlock.  Each room in Sherrinford was a self discovery trap.  Now, someone was corresponding with me over the "I Love You" meaning and said it wasn't real because it was manipulation.  That is correct in that it was manipulation...but that is what all therapy really is.  It is someone very skilled manipulating you into understanding your own true feelings.  As a person going through intensive therapy currently, let me tell you, this is exactly what TFP was.  A very elaborate therapy session.  

Room One: Sherlock, John, Mycroft and the Governor.

My hub sees this test as about Sherlock facing the fact that sometimes his actions will hurt his friends and family. Eurus gave Sherlock the choice of giving the gun to Mycroft or John so they could kill the Governor.  He was choosing whether to hurt John or hurt Mycroft. Either of them would be hurt by being forced to kill an innocent man.  Mycroft absolutely could not do it. John thought he could, but he couldn't either.  In the end, their inaction killed two people, but Sherlock was directly responsible for that.  He hurt John AND Mycroft without meaning to.  The consequence was real...the Governor and his wife were killed.  Sometimes your actions will hurt others, sometimes your innaction is just as dangerous. It will happen, and it will hurt you too.  I actually 100% agree with this reading.  My eyes popped out in amazement.

Room Two: Sherlock, John, and Mycroft.

My hub feels this test was to confront Sherlock with his arrogance.  Three brothers, all hanging by ropes, one of them having killed their fourth brother, but which one?  Sherlock solved the crime, but Eurus dropped the two innocent brothers, leaving the guilty one still hanging. The guilty man was eventually dropped as well, but it held a mirror up to Sherlock.  How many times did he blithely solve a crime with no thought as to who might be hurt by that? It never mattered to him. Like Eurus said, "Innocent?  Guilty? Punishing either feels the same."  This is Eurus throwing Sherlock's arrogant disregard for real justice back in his face.  He solves crimes to be "right", no matter what the consequence, no matter who he hurts.  He's confronting his arrogance and his selfishness.

Room Three: Sherlock, John, and Mycroft.  (This one may take some paragraphs, so bear with me.)

The coffin with the words "I Love You" on the lid.  Me and my hub actually diverge a bit here, but I found his reading of it very interesting.  Also, a man's perspective on love is great to have, considering Sherlock IS a man, and this whole episode is about a man’s love.  

My hub was very passionate about discussing this one, which surprised me.  Something he talks about quite often with me is how he feels female fandoms think they understand the minds of guys.  "100 travel brochures do not equal a single trip."  To understand a man’s feelings about love, you really need a man’s perspective.  I can respect that, as I’d want the same kind of respect as a woman with my own feelings.

First and foremost, he thinks Sherlock's words were genuine.  He said Sherlock's reaction was not that of a man who did not mean what he said...in fact it's the opposite, he meant it and it scares the shit out of him, hence the reaction we got.  He said when you like someone, and they like you back but, for whatever reason, you refuse to pursue a relationship with that person.  Often it's feelings of inadequacy.  Sometimes you just don't really know how you feel about that person.  Often, strong friendships can feel like love and if you are friends with a member of the sex you are attracted to, it can be easy to wonder if those feelings are love or not.  The last thing you want to do is pursue those feelings and jeopardize that friendship.

If anything, the "I Love You" test showed JUST (he typed that in all caps in his chat to me) how amazingly important Molly is to Sherlock. He "humiliated" himself just as much as she did. By finally openly admitting that he might have feelings for her, he knows that he has essentially forever altered the nature of their friendship.  Maybe it could grow into something more, but he could have easily destroyed it too. We see in the epilogue that they obviously got past it, but had we not gotten that scene it could easily have been the last time Molly ever answered his calls.  That's why he has been so afraid to even broach the subject before now. The hub added to this that once you understand that Sherlock isn't a "high functioning sociopath" like he claims, then his actions all click and you realize he is a man who is seething with emotions and desperately trying to channel them in order to keep them contained.  

"Sherlock is not all about thinking and rationality. He gets emotional, he lashes out, he shoots the wall. And when he can’t figure something out, he stabs it." -Mrs. Hudson, The Lying Detective

My hub continues on by saying that for someone as obviously traumatized by the loss of a close friend then it makes that scene with Molly so much more meaningful than just a guy telling a woman that he loves her.  Imagine how traumatic it is to force someone like that to risk losing another close friend through their own actions.  Sherlock actually doesn't consider John a friend at this point, he considers him family. They are brothers in arms. There's a special kind of relationship that guys share when they've fought alongside each other. That's what Tolkien was trying to show in LOTR. It's different from a romantic relationship. In some ways it's more intimate and closer. I think Mary saw that.  It's why a lot of cops and soldiers end up divorced. Their wives see that bond that the guy has with his comrades and it puts a heavy strain.  The fact that Mary was able to get past that and even encourage it is a testimony to just what an amazing woman she was. John was INCREDIBLY (his typed caps, again for emphasis) lucky to have her. (yay Mary Watson love)

To dovetail back to how this relates to Molly, my hub believes Molly would also be the kind of woman to be just like Mary.  She would want him to be himself, to be with John, solving cases, being Sherlock and Dr. Watson.  But again, he thinks Sherlock was just so afraid of losing Molly that he never even entertained the idea of being able to have a relationship with her, for fear of losing what they have.  He is really surprised female fans don't understand this. He's heard so many women say that they couldn't imagine pursuing a relationship with a close friend because they didn't want to jeopardize that friendship. Even when you bring up that they are essentially already in a relationship with that person in everything but name.  I actually agreed here, 1000%, because I've been in this situation myself...it is so, so, so painful...and you are always filled with regret over words that weren't said.

The last thing my husband said about the coffin test was that, to him, the coffin symbolized the death of Sherlock and Molly's current relationship, as it’s been throughout the show. It couldn't go back to the way it was, not after what was said.  There is no more unspoken feelings hanging in the air.  Everything is out in the open.  There's only two outcomes now: either Sherlock did pursue a romantic relationship with Molly, or he simply couldn't bring himself to actually commit to her, but the words being said freed Molly of her unspoken, unrequited love, thus allowing her to actually move on.   He thinks they did pursue a relationship, btw.  He wasn't sure until our last viewing, but more on that later.

Lastly, I want to add that I view the coffin as an entirely different symbol. The coffin had the words "I Love You" on it.  Where do we equate love coming from? The heart.  When young Sherlock's best friend was killed, it effectively killed his heart.  It was broken, shattered, dark, put away into a box....dead.  The coffin represents the death of Sherlock's heart. It is the box containing all the love he used to feel inside it.  The coffin test was by far the hardest test...it's the one that had the most harrowing effect on him.  Opening your heart is the hardest thing for us, as human beings, to do.  But Sherlock Holmes did it, even if it confused and frightened him to do it.  Eurus forced it open, in front of John and Mycroft no less!   Sherlock gently touching the lid of the coffin, he is feeling his heart, the heart he has missed for so, so long.  He wants to break it out of that coffin...so he smashes it to bits, screaming while he does it.  He is breaking his love free of death, out of that coffin.

"So many complicated emotions. I lost count!"- Eurus Holmes

Love is also confusing as hell for Sherlock.  It's going to take a while for him to solve that particular one, for Molly.  He can't solve it completely while in that room, so of course...he does what Mrs. Hudson said he does...he stabbed it...or rather, he dismantled it soundly. That's how strong his feelings were.

Room 4: Sherlock, John, Mycroft.

My hub felt this test was simple.  It was to demonstrate to Sherlock that there will always come a time where he will have to choose between friends and family.  He didn't have much else to say, but I have some feelings on it myself.  I think Sherlock actually managed to turn the tables on Eurus during this one.  Remember, his heart is wide open now. He busted it out of that coffin. It is confused and scared, but it is raw and beating like thunder.  He cannot, will not choose between friends and family, because his friends ARE family. They are HIS.  Their love is HIS.  He cannot choose because there is no choice to make.  He would rather truly destroy himself than dare hurt the people he loves any more. We saw this with the Culverton Smith case as well, so this one is no surprise.  It was no surprise to Eurus either, which is why she was prepared.

Room 5: Sherlock.

Finally, the last bit of really amazing symbolism I want to talk about is when Sherlock was in the fake room, just outside Musgrave.  The walls inside there were littered with photographs of the Holmes family.  Sherlock, Mycroft, Eurus, Mummy, and Daddy.  Sherlock's family.  He is forced to look at those pictures...forced to look at who he used to be.  Who Mycroft used to be.  Who Eurus used to be.  The love that existed there, the love he felt, the happiness he so briefly knew.  He had made a prison inside himself...but suddenly he realizes it...all he has to do is push, one last time.  The walls of the fake room literally fall down around him.  His prison is no more.  He's solved himself...now he must solve Eurus in order to save his family.  He could only save John, and the little girl high above, if he solved The Final Problem: himself.

At last, we hear Sherlock say to Eurus when he's holding her in her burnt childhood bedroom that she got lost last time, but this time she can do it right.  He's here now, here for her.  He begs her to save his best friend this time...not let him die like last time.  Sherlock effectively brings his little sister down to the ground again, and he did it with love.  The entirety of The Final Problem represented unlocking Love.  Love for his best friend, his inseparable partner: John.  Love for his family, his big brother: Mycroft, who isn't as strong as he thinks, and Eurus, a little girl who was lost inside her own lonely, cold brilliance.  Love for the quietly strong woman who's love for him was unbreakable: Molly Hooper. Love unlocked Eurus' prison, just as it unlocked Sherlock's.  They brought each other 'home'.

And that is the long ass tale of me and my husband's discussing of this incredible, frustrating, tragic, beautiful, brilliant, messy episode of my favorite show of all time.  I'll admit to you here, I cried in front of my hub when he compared the coffin to the state of Sherlock and Molly's relationship.  He felt so bad, poor guy.  I had also spent the day so upset over Moffat and Gatiss's flippant responses about the "I Love You" scene.  Upon our final viewing at the theater though, walking out, my hub says, "I have a new theory.  I'm almost positive Sherlock and Molly did pursue a relationship.  When she walks into 221B, she's smiling really brightly, and she's heading in the direction where Sherlock was standing in the room." He is right.  Molly could have walked in and simply stood gaping at the miracle of 221B's resurrection, or she could have stood alongside Mrs. Hudson.  But nope.  She went in the direction of the man she's loved for so, so long.  She was going to Sherlock, who is now the good man everyone knew he could be.

Louise Brealey tweeted just before the final series aired that "Molly was back where she belonged." Molly belongs with Sherlock, just as much as John Watson, Rosie Watson, and Mrs. Hudson. She's a permanent part of this Sherlock Holmes's Baker Street. Forever.  <3

[backwardabyss]

i’ve been free of the sh*rlock fandom for many blissful years now and i try not to like, write things on this useless blog of mine but i’ve seen more reactionary anger to the season four finale than i was expecting so i feel compelled to Share My Thoughts regardless of whether or not anyone wants to hear them. full disclosure: i am not a fan of j*hnlock or the conspiracy movement it has inspired so you may not want to read this if you are. 

i guess the major thing for me is.........confusion. shipping holmes/watson i wholeheartedly understand, of course, there’s a long and beautiful history of doing it and i’ve always adored the ambiguous queerness of the Canon’s holmes and how that’s been adapted or not adapted in the thousands of films/tv shows/pastiches/etc that have followed it. what i dont?? fucking understand??? is the people who genuinely thought it would become canon, on bbc sh*rlock (2010) OF ALL FUCKING THINGS????

i’m pretty damn far from being a “casual” viewer of the show, it was my primary fandom for several years and i was once-upon-a-midnight-fuckin-dreary completely consumed by my love for it. so as someone for whom that is true but who, unlike most fandom people for whom it is true, has not been sucked into the J*hnlock Meta Echo Chamber, i feel pretty confident in my assertion that there has been really very little in the series itself to suggest a romantic john/sh*rlock endgame. sure, their relationship is at the center of the show and they ofc have been shown to care for each other deeply and enduringly, as holmeses and watsons always do....and, sure, there are without question lines and moments that could be read as revealing a romantic undercurrent to their devotion to each other (particularly on sh*rlock’s end, i think). but that there was a legitimate conspiracy movement convinced beyond all shadow of a doubt that they were going to explicitly get bbc’s sh*rlock and john making out onscreen...i just do not get it, and do not see it, and yes i’ve read the metas, and no they did not convince me and i’m not entirely sure how they convinced anyone but whatever, it’s fine, that’s not the point.

like, for example, i keep seeing people shocked that after the ~EXPLICIT TEXTUAL GAYNESS~ of the lying detective they couldn’t believe the final problem would follow. and i’m just like??? huh? you mean, the hug? the one that happened in the context of a) john mourning his dead wife who he clearly loved very genuinely and b) john hearing sh*rlock receive a text from irene adler and urging him, quite explicitly, to go fuck her and telling him he’d be an idiot not to?? that explicit textual gayness?? WHAT? (i know the Conspiracy People have composed all these half-assed metas about how irene isn’t Really A Character and is just a mirror for sh*rlock or a symbol of his desire to bone john or something, but, lol no offense but fuck that misogynistic bullshit that treats every woman on the show as a literal empty signifier only sitting there to reflect something about sh*rlock and/or john. it’s just not a good reading or a valid interpretation and it’s so sexist i don’t even know where to start lmao. john genuinely wants sh*rlock to find the love of A Good Woman bc he is a hetero and well, the worst, and there was nothing about that scene that felt like a lead-up to the two men in it falling in love like ohhh my god. oh my god.)

and like ok, i got off course there, but how did ANYONE expect a different outcome after this interview, in which gatiss and moffat both told you all in NO UNCERTAIN TERMS that they had no romance planned and in fact seemed incredibly miffed by the refusal to be believed when they said that?? gatiss literally says that there is no conspiracy and that even tho they lie about some things in interviews they are not lying about this. and look, i don’t want to defend them, i think the writers of this show are assholes and bigoted in ways they can’t see, but how anyone could accuse them of “baiting them into thinking j*hnlock would be endgame” when they’ve been saying it won’t be the case (often in unnecessarily rude and offensive terms) for literal YEARS??? i don’t get it. I REALLY DON’T. and no, gatiss doesn’t Owe you a holmes/watson relationship just because he’s a gay man himself lmao and when he’s expressed his feelings on the matter countless, countless times. you all chose not to believe him, for whatever reason, so i mean i’m sorry if some of you are hurting but i’m also feeling very congratulationsyouplayedyourself.jpeg about the whole thing.

which brings me to my last major point really, which is: WHY WOULD YOU WANT THESE HORRIBLE PEOPLE TO BE THE ONES TO DELIVER YOU YOUR QUEER REPRESENTATION?? moffat in particular is just, UGH, i mean, for fuck’s sake, the man wrote an adaptation of a scandal in bohemia where irene identified herself as a lesbian and yet, in the very same episode, fell in love with sh*rlock to such an all-consuming degree that she Lost Her Head and made a silly mistake in their game and got humiliated in defeat. like, what kind of lesbophobic, misogynistic fucking NONSENSE that btw completely deviates from the plot of the actual story in which she beats holmes’ ass and flees away into the night, victorious and safe. that’s the writer you thought was orchestrating a queer endgame for his beloved sh*rlock holmes???? that’s the writer you wanted orchestrating a queer endgame for his beloved sh*rlock holmes?? l o l....ok. that’s not even taking into account all the nasty things he’s said in interviews, like how sh*rlock is ofc not interested in men and ofc he’s not asexual bc asexual people are BORING, sh*rlock is just a latent straight man repressing his urge to bone women!! maybe he’ll marry mrs. hudson in the end tho!! lmao. i....cannot.

and i guess i’m also irritated by this guilting wave on my dash, like i’m obligated to feel sympathy for all these shippers who get duped, or whatever. like, look, even putting my personal feelings about the j*hnlock fandom aside (YOUR SMUG ASSES MADE THE FANDOM LIVES OF ALL RAREPAIR SHIPPERS HELL FOR YEARS, YOU ASSHOLES), after going through what, say, the 100 did to lexa, i’m just.....having a hard time feeling sympathy, i am sorry. oh, your two favorite characters get to live happily together raising a baby in 221b in a scenario that leaves them ripe and open for no end of headcanon and fic that can be totally canon-compliant? boooooo frickin hoooo. HEARTBREAKING. 

i realize this probably is like, rude and condescending and invalidating or whatever and well what can i tell u, i’m a rude bitch, but i am tiiiired of reading all these posts like this is the biggest slight against the lgbtqa+ community in media history. it’s not. yeah, you should all be expecting better from your media, for sure. but you should not have been expecting better from this shitpile of a show, which has proven its disregard for women, racial/ethnic minorities, and queer ppl for seasons upon seasons now. it’s 2017, and the tv landscape still isn’t great but there are so many shows out there with actual canonical lgbtqa+ characters that you can be looking to for the representation you want, deserve, etc. 

sh*rlock isn’t the queer love story you all wanted it to be, and if i’m not empathetic abt that it’s bc i’m SO DAMN RELIEVED that’s the case, bc it and most of the people involved in its production are hmm, what’s the word.....THE. DAMN. WORST. 

[manondemissy]

15, 16, 25, 26

honesty  meme  /  accepting   @garconlost

15.  How has rp changed you personally?

   I’ve become a better writer and storyteller because of rp.  Like, especially in highschool when I did kind of rp, my writing was always good and I always got ? high grades and it was writing poetry and short stories ( we all know that english class honestly )  and then in college classes, me writing screenplays ,the characters were more fleshed out and the stories are just ??  ( how many times can i say good ) as well as discussions in class about your story / character / plot.  but no, I think there’s a great amount of critical thinking that goes with rp and writing, and I genuinely believe it helps with one’s ability to write outside of it. It’s just like if you want to be good at something, you practice. doing things like writing for muses, answering headcanons / creating headcanons and meta honestly just prepares someone to be able to have a in depth discussion about a character, writing, plot ? It might be in rp, but it’s all still there.  Plus, it made gain a lot of friends, from everywhere, I learned a lot about people because of that? It’s made me more better than worse. so like ..... it helps me rn in college.  

16.  If you could change one thing about rp on tumblr, what would it be? Why?

I honestly don’t know, I’d probably …… make the block feature work ? ( thats not about rp but like ……. ) 

25. Are you open to duplicates? Why / why not?

     I like that people have their own portrayals of characters and everyone’s take is different, no person’s is the same as the next writing the same muse.  I don’t like that I have a bit of anxiety with it when it comes to characters that are important to me ( and I know that’s a lot , )  but ?  I’ve had things taken from me in the past which makes me a little more Selective ? Yes.  People have been rude to me ooc about personal things because I wrote a muse once that only 1 person wrote in a fandom and they basically bullied me to leave ( i promise im not gonna bitch about this kjsdnksjn )  I’ve had my share of bad experiences, and I try really hard to not let that affect me.   It’s not really that if ‘ im open or not open to duplicates ‘  because I know people who write manon just as beautifully as I do, and I love them ?  sometimes, I avoid it all together and keep my dash comfortable for me, but other times, it depends on the muse that I write that I get more ? Selective about it. It’s more on my other blog than manon. I hope this makes sense, but I’m doing more for my own comfort because I haven’t been doing that until this year.  It helps to remember that your portrayal is like no other.  so sometimes I am, sometimes im not. 

26. How do you feel about vague posting?

    Vague posting  is needed sometimes, but as a whole concept, I think it’s better to just end up in the person’s IM’s and talk to them about what they’re doing. ( if they’re being gross then ....... i don’t have a lot of sympathy )  If they’re doing something wrong ? tell them. IF I was ever doing something wrong I would want someone to tell me, even tho I try really hard to be conscious of everything I’m doing at all times. but again, sometimes it’s NEEDED . I’m not judging anyone who does vague post btw, it’s just my opinion.