#bruce needs to be on that one show

[batgeance]

god bruce fucking hates talking to wayne execs and financial advisors

[aalghul]

once again thinking about jason as duke’s robin. he’s ~4 years younger than jason, and that puts him at 8-12 during Jason’s time as robin. that’s prime time to get attached to your local kid vigilante before your own life goes downhill.

and if we try to keep duke’s meeting with bruce in zero year + duke’s age (so he can remember the meeting and hold that conversation with bruce), he has to be around 8. if he starts following batman through the news at that time because of the mess that just happened, the robin he sees is probably jason. I’ve literally connected the dots

[erinwantstowrite]

Dick and Tim would be REALLY good on reality tv,,, they're both charismatic (please do not forget that Tim makes friends/allies easily just like Dick can), handsome, CLEVER, and know how to play to a persona. i think they'd go on shows for fun and to de-stress. like one too many things piss them off in their daily lives and they could pretty much get a vacation from it just to go on these shows. no one in the family can talk to them and they get to annoy people, crack jokes, and get fun puzzles in the form of a literal puzzle or figuring out social dynamics of the other players.

sometimes they go on shows by themselves but mostly use it as a brotherly bonding activity. if it's a show where they can be a duo they're GOING to do it. and they're going in to play to a storyline, not to win. they don't need the money, they don't need the publicity, they just want to have fun. sometimes if they figure out that everyone on the show sucks and they get competitive, they'll win. but mostly their goal is "how can we make the funniest plot line look the most natural." or something like that. i know a producer LOVES to see them coming. i bet EVERYONE tunes in when they're on a show because they're fucking hilarious even if half of what they say are inside jokes. the rest of the family watches and they KNOW what those shits are pulling, they have betting pools where they guess what the two are gonna do next, they're the FIRST to make memes for both internet and for the family group chats.

one time they convinced Bruce to go (it's been many a years since he really had to play up the Brucie role, cause he's a dad now and the older he gets the more people expect him to mellow out, and even back when he was full Brucie, reality TV wasn't his thing). it was one of those survival based shows where you come is as a team and try to win together. Bruce got lost in the woods after going on a hike. The camera men literally lost him and Tim and Dick were playing it up for the camera. Dick cried and invited the other teams to a funeral. Tim had a speech that was basically "I think he's fine but this is my perfect opportunity to embarrass my dad with stories." The producers were like "we fucking killed Bruce Wayne oh my fucking god" and Bruce shows up at the funeral like "oh what a beautiful service my boys are so great." They won by pure luck and circumstances and they were actively TRYING to lose that game. They were gobsmacked at the end and everyone uses the moment they looked at each other in confusion and shock as reaction gifs

[hailsatanacab]

A Persuasive Argument - dpxdc

"Great!" Danny says, clapping his hands together to get everyone's attention. The dinner table falls silent as everyone looks towards him. It's a full house today and, honestly, Danny's a little nervous. "I'm sure you're all wondering why I gathered you here today."

"It's dinnertime. In our house." Duke mutters, while doing a very bad job of concealing his yawn. He holds his fork poised over the braised beef, but, just like everyone else, still looks towards Danny before tucking in. It's intriguing enough to wait.

"Yeah, no one misses Alfie's dinner." Dick says, with a brilliant smile that Danny can't help but return.

"Precisely! What better time to talk to you all than when you're all actually here!"

"Wait, I thought you came round to work on our English essays?" Tim asks, blinking owlishly.

"I'm afraid I've lured you here under false pretences, Tim."

"This is where I live."

"I would still really appreciate help on that essay though, I mean, what the hell is Hamlet even about? I just don't get that old time-y language, like 'Hark! A ghost hath killed me!' - absolute rubbish, what does that even mean?"

"The ghost never kills anyone in Hamlet, he's there to tell Hamlet that he was murdered. Have you actually read it?"

"No, but it sounds like you have. Tim, I want this guy to help me with my essay instead. I know for a fact that you haven't read Hamlet, either."

"So? We don't need Jason, I've read the Sparknotes."

"Hi Jason, I'm Danny, pleasure to meet you, summarise Hamlet in three sentences or less."

"Am I auditioning to help you write your essays? I can't believe you’ve gone through your whole school life without reading it, it’s good!"

"Hamlet, along with a number of other classics, was banned in our house because it portrayed ghosts as intelligent and sympathetic beings rather than evil, animalistic beasts. I didn’t even get to see The Muppet's Christmas Carol until last year with Tim! It was surprisingly good, and I hate Christmas because everyone always argued and it sucked. But we're getting off topic. I—"

"No, no, please go back to that, because what the fu—"

"Boys, please." Bruce interrupts, looking to the world as if he wants to hang his head in his hands. "Danny, you were about to say something?"

"Oh, yeah, Mr. Wayne! Thanks!"

"Please, call me Bruce."

"Well, that very succinctly brings me to my point, because I'd actually really like to call you dad."

Nobody says a word. Nobody even blinks, all as shocked as the other, watching open-mouthed as Danny pulls his laptop out from beside his chair. Bruce can definitely feel a headache coming on.

"Before you say anything, I've prepared a 69 slide PowerPoint presentation on why you, Bruce Wayne, should adopt me, Danny Last-Name-Pending. Please save your questions, comments, and verdict until the end, thank you."

[nelkcats]

Garage Sale

Well, when the Fentons decided to have a garage sale Danny didn't expect many to be interested. His parents were looking for a way to get money quickly to build more stuff, and he jokingly suggested they could sell some inventions, they took it seriously (Jazz made sure to remove all the lethal inventions, she tried with the ones that might be risky but then they wouldn't sell anything).

Danny knew his parents were strange yes, but he wasn't sure that justified millionaires in his backyard. Millionaires, he'd like to clarify, had never set foot in Amity Park before. He raised an eyebrow at the sight of Bruce Wayne and his sons checking out the appliances. None of them seemed to be interested in the "ghosts" but they hadn't backed down from taking some things either.

So yes, Danny was suspicious. Of course he had made sure the inventions in the sale were safe (although unlike Jazz, he simply decided to make them safe, a few modifications here and there), but the fact that they looked genuinely interested made him uneasy.

Were the Waynes interested in hunting ghosts?

He decided to try something, he crossed eyes with one of them and let his green eyes show before looking away, the boy looked alarmed. He approached him and asked, but Danny feigned ignorance, commenting that all the inventions were green and maybe he had been confused by the reflection (to be fair, most of his parents' inventions were green because of the ecto).

For his part, Bruce had received an alert from Justice League Dark, it seemed they had detected a strange energy, similar to magic, so the bats set out to investigate. They didn't expect to find a garage sale in a house in the middle of nowhere (Amity Park wasn't even marked on the fucking map). Nor did they expect advanced technology or mad scientists.

Bruce decided to pretend he had stumbled into town as "Brucie Wayne" and buy a few things. He shuddered to see that many inventions worked with Lazarus water. Jason, who had strangely agreed to come along, was also upset about the son of the scientists.

Bruce questioned whether he had found a family of villains in the making.

[daisybell-on-a-carousel]

"Jason was the happy robin" this, "jason was the angry robin" that. Let's all be fully honest here Jason was the lonely robin

[ryssbelle]

N2 au Brucey babe!! He really doesnt change much tbh, it's mostly just an outfit change plus his gropes about his brother would be a bit different in that they're extended to all of them and not just JD, theyre just mostly centered around JD.

Cuz from his side he knew all of his brothers were alive at least Floyd, JD, and Branch. He just couldn't leave Vacay island, at first due to fear, and then he started a family there (first kid was accidental).

He'd heard rumors about JD and the others due to JD traveling all over the place and hed sent put the postcard as a way of extending an olive branch and then nobody showed up :/

Also Bruce's outfit change is purely for me I hate drawing his canon vest lmao

[arkangelo-7]

Okay, but, what are the Batfamily’s favorite tv shows? It’s hard to find time between saving the world and curating their civilian identities, but when the Bats do have the chance to sit down and watch tv, they typically default to a certain genre.

Bruce by far has the weirdest taste in tv shows. Its why no one ever watches with him, because he’s the type to pick some random, obscure show that literally no one has ever heard of and is dubbed over in French or something. However, he does get kudos because he was the one that got everyone hooked on Squid Game.

Dick and Cass 100% watch American Ninja Warrior together. Dick started watching it when it first came out, and tunes in weekly for the new episodes. One day Cass walked in and was hypnotized. So now they watch it together and occasionally set up their own courses in the Batcave to have competitions on. Dick usually gets his ass beat but it’s still fun.

Jason watches period dramas. (This might actually be canon? I’m not sure?) He’s made his way through the Gilded Age, Downton Abbey, The Crown, and annually rewatches the ultimate cut of Pride and Prejudice. No one would expect the terrifying Red Hood to tear up watching Little Women, but man does that shit get to him…

Tim watches reality tv. The Kardashians, The Real Housewives, The Bachelor—he eats that shit up. Listening to other people’s problems and watching them deal with them in a removed way takes him back to his stalker days, and, hey, he appreciates some mind-numbing drama. Tim’s brain is like a whirlpool; sometimes it’s nice to just conk out thinking about what Kim said to Courtney, instead of that new project at WE or that new gadget he needs to work on for Young Justice.

Steph does not watch TV. She watches clips of TV shows on TikTok. (Particularly, those Young Sheldon clips that come up on everyone’s for you page.) On the rare occasions she actually does turn the TV on, it’s usually turned to Gossip Girl or a cartoon, and she doesn’t actually pay attention—it’s just background noise.

Damian is enthralled with National Geographic. He’ll deny it till the day he dies, but he loves those five-hour documentaries on rhinos and whale sharks or whatever. The problem is that he records everything, so the Manor’s DVR is always full, and it drives everyone crazy. Especially Dick, because by God, if there isn’t enough storage for next weekends episode of Ninja Warrior—

Duke likes comedy shows. Abbott Elementary, Parks and Rex, and The Good Place are just a couple of his favorites. He’s currently rewatching The Office with Barbra and they’ll quote it at each other during patrol.

[hood-ex]

Thinking about how Dick teleported into the Betwixt and got hurt during Bruce's bachelor party. Then Bruce got stood up at the altar. Then Bruce watched Dick get shot in the head. Then Bruce lost Alfred.

That is all.

[tanglepelt]

Dc x idea 124

Sam and Danny do a student exchange program. Danny was Volvontold to do it by mr.lancer who got his parents to agree. Sam’s parents were more then happy to force her to do it. The school she was being sent to had a Wayne.

Tucker would be staying back in amity to help Valarie with the ghosts.

The two amity Parker’s quickly caught attention at the transfer school. The two kept to themselves and wanted nothing to do with it. At one point they were caught bad mouthing the justice league. That caught attention especially from Damian Wayne.

Danny: it’s not that we don’t like hero’s

Sam: it’s that they claim to give a shit but don’t! That hotline is bs. Nothing comes from it.

Damian: they deal with world ending crisis not small time crime from a town in Illinois.

Danny: duh. Dude we don’t call when box ghost is stealing all the shoe boxes. Or when spectra did her hospital gig yet again. Then the time lunch lady decided it was mandatory meatloaf Monday and-

Sam: *elbowing Danny* we’ve only called with potential world ending threats. Like when the ghost king yoinked our town into the ghost zone and threatened to destroy earth without the return of his ring. Then the time undergrowth was going to feed our entire town to his plants then move on to the world.

Danny: don’t forget technus. Know how last month how phones, tvs and most electronics only were displaying a green face screaming of taking over the world. It only lasted like what 2 mins for you guys. But man that was a rough week for us.

Sam: Tucker got a hold of someone just for them to laugh In his face despite offering proof and video footage.

Sam/Danny: we’ll keep bad mouthing the justice league. Deal with it.

Sam: besides we have a much better heros then the justice league. Two of them who actually care.

[rmbunnie]

“I just can’t bear to see Jason Todd in Batman comics after what he did to poor traumatized neglected baby Timmy” I can! I think he should do it again

[devine-fem]

No because Damian angst could be so much more interesting if it wasn’t “Oh, thank GOD, Damian’s white saviors took him away from that awful, cruel and wicked pseudo mom Talia, oh thank god that he has Selina Kyle now!” and instead talked about how Damian was proned to violence since the moment he could walk and make noises with his mouth and was taught never to feel emotions THEN it goes to oh, son, you’ve made the choice to be with me so let me show you how to cope with that… with more violence as a pattern of unhealthy coping mechanisms instilled in you and me at a young age and you can show emotions! buuuut you have to wear this suit and take on a whole other identity then when out of the suit you have to wear a facade so no one truly knows about the suit in the first place and this won’t be confusing for a child at all! … Bruce Wayne.. what? And oh, this guy who thinks you’re a responsibility and generally vexing is going to take you under his wing because he thinks no one else can deal with you otherwise and you get a little close but eventually he hurts and abandoneds you as well but now you’re on good terms because the narrative has decided that no one can wrong you except the only person who loved you at first (Talia, the only person who thought it’d be a good idea to take you out of their lives in order to keep you away from this exhausting path of violence and masking) but it’s fine! … Okay, Dick… and then you’re fighting with your brother because he’s jealous of you taking his place and he calls you worthless, unworthy of love and your mantle and unworthy of your fathers trust… Okay, Tim…? Does anyone wanna love Damian for Damian and not love him only when its convenient to their own personal mission please? No?

NO ONE REALIZES THAT ITS NOT ABOUT DAMIAN NOT BEING AN AL GHUL! BEING AN AL GHUL DOESNT MAKE HIM EVIL! ITS NOT ABOUT HOW HE’S TREATED BY HIS FAMILY. ITS THAT CHOICE!! Damian needs to make more choices for himself instead of living by some destiny and going by whatever everyone else expects of him! His heart is good and worthy and he doesn’t need to be an Al Ghul or a Bat to figure that out! He needs to make more choices to be the best version of himself he can be but we’re too busy demonizing the Al Ghuls in fandom and in comics to realize that!!!

[vigilantesyth]

Damian wayne head cannon, bro is either over dressed or underdressed but always in style. The Wayne's tend to just pick a stugle some times as Dick, Jason ans steph and known for being in tight/short/ skimpy fits with loads of accessories and Bruce, Tim, babs, cas and Duke tend to do a...lot because why show up if it's not to show up? They are beautiful humans and they show off. Damian is from a place where everyone dressed over accessorised.

You can not convince me that the RAs don't walk around with gold/silver/broz/metal and gems apart of every fit.and everyone dose it too just they the main blood line is extra about it something about the wight helps training and you can't go around looking homeless if your a ra. So dami comes with his own gems why thank you and gets more 'anonymously'. It's also a good way to get in his good graces or earn is help or silence(this is abused by the family on 'don't tell xxxx').

So some days you see Damian in this 50 layer kimono because he favourite anime character of the week died or in botty shorts and a crop top (Both with mannny accessories) because he just felt like it.

Mind you he is still wearing heavy jewellery so people do try to rob him. But he is Damain, his rep is of a wild but beautiful dog. He dose bite he also has security detail thanks to his mother and grandfather that only do nothing if they themselves send assassin's to harm him.

He knows everyone knows. They are his old servants and nanny's he acts like it too. Alfred likes the extra help and plays card games with them. One of the mannor floors is dedicated to Damains 'guards'.

Witch leads me to another au.

The nanny's and servants help with house work alot so alf have more time with the family and the family gets to know them as well but they know the servants don't need to awnser to them and it's only because Damain likes them it happens. They are loyal af.

One time burce asked Damain why can't he act like kids his age at the time. The only kids outside of his siblings he knew was the rich brats at school.

This gose wrong fast.

As damaian has them disguise themselves in a mall area and plan for a meeting with one of his classmates who talked bad about his mother one day to come fight.

Damaian had an outing with a 'friend' that day conveniently.

So they met at the mall the kid had like 10 guards all buff and some with guns. Damaian smirked, and like a demon who won a prize, he started cackling.

Brat" why ate you laughing your surrounded "

Somebody was recording in the background BTW. There was even a crowd. When the guards surrounded him he grinned and clapped.

His guards sand up some dropping trays and lifting guns, others lifting knives. All looking at the small crowd of 11.

D: "No you are surrounded"

People in the crowd gasp as more jumps from. The 3rd floor to the 2nd floor some hand off wires with more guns by now even some coming out of the crowd with more weponds totalling to almost 300 men and women.

D"now what was it you said about my mother?being a broke, whore?"

He lifted his hands and grined eith a glint in his eyes.

"Everyone around you is an enemy shawn. You best kneel and beg before me for forgiveness before I have them wiped you off the map."

By this time the crowd was growing and it was on the news all asking who the armed people worked for.

Then they turned red in the center from Sniper aims and it becomes national news it's on NBC and BBC how some wayne kid plans to kill a classmate with 100 men and 40 snipers for being disrespectful to his mother talking about how Bruce is letting his kids use his money.

Then a chopper appears because damain is dramatic he came that way and his family *caough * Dick *caough * made it worst.

His grandfather walks out in all his glory, and it becomes known to the world as it is now world news it has the kids' parents showing up even. That Damian is a part of the Al Gulh royal family, and they came out of hiding because of the disrespect they faced in a school. The parent where bowing a grovelling to spare them. Then talia shows up in her crown princess clothes. It makes RA act even bolder because she often refuses to wear clothes he gives her. She apologized for the mess her son and father cause on international news.

The a chopper came over from the Korean royal family asking who disrespected their family.

Damnian becomes international overnight. His mother and grandfather now have Twitter, and so do the very much hidden in the plane sight empire. While the world want to know what land is, they refuse to talk about it.

And Bruce is pissed he scolds him and then some when he reaches home. Damaian said.

"You said 'why don't I act like other kids' I acted like my classmates are you happy now?"

Bruce sinks in defeat and noe has to make up a story as to hoe he and talia met and now has to fit royal meeting into Damains schedule as the korean[ he didn't know ] side of family also wants turns with him and his siblings if they wish to come. Ras is the same and nobody questions damians linage again.

And all racist comments stop in his presents, his slate wiped clean anyone who offended him where either expelled or conveniently disappeared. Gotham acts like it's an every day thing and now news reporters and other people try to dig into his life more than the other Wayne's forming sort of a protection for them because who cares I'd Jason and Tim had a gun fight in the middle of Gotham (paint gun) all of Gotham didn't care because they too also joined into to the mess.

Damain looks actually too tired to care now because too much is on his plate and he can't get work related injuries else take a leave of absence which last time made international news again, he played off the brused lip as he lost a tooth while reading a book and it fell on his face. Had to get check out infount of t.v to confirm it by at least two nations doctors. All 3 of them did and confirmed the sooth got shook out by something falling on his face. [It was jon. Jon fell on his face].

Damian also has to walk around with food testers and his school released his gardeds once to show off and his private touters [smartest people in the world] showed thier certificates from when he was a child of him being thr smartest kid they have ever thought.

It's not the end of it, Damain now basically sits and eats at galas because who has the standing to talk to him, both good and bad because everyone is watching him and he don't have to talk to them.

(I'm just building help:^

I need to stop alright one more

Sick as fuck rn )

Damains clothes become trendy and scrutinised. Because look at this, he is either over dressed or under dressed but never worse dressed and refuses to care about gender or cultural norms. Once, we wore a whole silk gown to a beach, like the after divorce, or just married a rich man type gown with the slit and everything with heavy jewellery, garter belt and that toe chain that ties up to your calves with a parasol.

(In my cannon, he looks more like talia than Bruce)

[bluegarners]

whenever conversational discourse stirs up on the topic of dick and his co-dependency with bruce (i.e., for all their fights and disagreements, they'll both come running when the other calls, forever) i think it can simply be broken down to how a family *should operate. they have each other's back, and also hold each other's lives in the cradle of their palms. the most horrible thing in the world could be said to each other over and over again, but at the end of the day, their lives are at stake, and it's simply much too valuable to ever hold a grudge over. of course they come running when called. an abused dog still knows the command "sit"

[mishy-mashy]

Oh the temptation to write a Resistance fic where Kudo learns to take care of a baby during terrible times

[undertheredhood]

what people really don't seem to understand about jason's (very justifiable) anger towards bruce is that it's not about bruce leaving the joker alive, it's about the fact that bruce didn't do anything to stop the joker from harming/killing anyone ever again. if bruce had actually done something about the joker (it doesn't have to be murder but something that would stop the joker from causing more harm), jason probably would've been less angry (because the joker being alive isn't the only issue that jason had with bruce) with him.

(yeah, i know all about how the joker had diplomatic immunity but that comic was also pretty islamophobic & and also it was very pro-z10n1st (i.e. one of the candidates to potentially be jason’s mother was a spy for the is***l government) so i'm disregarding everything about that comic)