#brothers bein silly

[fenkizard]

When your far less touchy brother suddenly asks for a hug just to drop snow down your jacket

(Trying to figure out how I want to draw them. Not totally happy with this style but it’s a start)

[chaotic-robot]

is this trend dead

[asexual-levia-tan]

the brothers will be like "levi is such a nerd i can't understand him" and then satan will drop all sorts of facts about cats or whatever detective drama he's into lately and asmo will wax poetic about this perfume or that makeup brand and lucifer will talk your ear off about his latest tea/demonus/cursed vinyl he's obtained

[spect-era]

Bein a bit silly with my art lately… (+ if the brothers just got to chill and live a bit longer)

[steampunkhobo]

Getting actually emotional right now oh my stars 😭 I keep the original post open on a tab on my computer so I can look at it whenever- you do not know how happy this makes me 🙏

So many wonderful details that make them feel like them (the stubble and the arm hair, the smile lines, the thoughtfulness on the clothes and Delmar’s boots, the way Delmar’s hair is drawn- which I thought was really wonderfully done in the very first piece, still just so plain right right- the fact Pete has torn the dang flowers up by the ROOT) and there’s something about this style with the sorta sketchy coloring and shading that just suits them so well. I don’t know how to explain that but it’s REAL. And they just look so damn happy and dumb in the way that they are it’s making me actually bonkers. In love.

i want what they have

[kennedybaby]

being chris and claire’s youngest sister who always turns to older leon for some comfort everytime she had a fight with her bf!!!! ヽ⁠(⁠(⁠◎⁠д⁠◎⁠)⁠)⁠ゝts is just a silly little drabble. . .

Word count: 1.385k / Warning: age gap, cheating, unprotected sex.

your girlfriend wants to be my girlfriend, she be calling me, telling me ‘bout you.

It’s wrong, hell, you know how wrong it is to run to your brother’s friend for comfort every time you had a heated argument with your boyfriend. You can’t help it, Leon just provided the right amount of attention at the right time to you. All you needed to do is whine into your cellphone, sniffing and wiping your hot tears as you pour your heart out about how your boyfriend and you got into a fight again to Leon and he’s quick to get on his motorcycle, revving his engine up and going straight to your home. You know it’s bad, if either Chris or Claire founds out you were fooling with their friend behind their backs, they would probably lecture you and make sure to create distance between you and Leon. Not only that, but if your boyfriend were to find out you’ve been letting Leon pound you raw every other night when you’re not staying at his place, he would be beyond livid.

But all those worries and guilt were thrown straight out of the window the second Leon have his head between your soft thighs, warm tongue lapping on your clit as his hands keep your thighs apart. The slick, squelching sound of his lips sucking onto your bundles of nerves while his thick fingers pump in and out of your pussy brings nothing but pure bliss into your head, easing your stress as your fingers intertwined with his dark, brown locks. Leaning your head back to your pillow, you can feel the dark stubble on his cheeks brushing against your inner thighs, the red marks of his fingers digging deep into the cush of your thighs was evident as he dragged a long stripe on your slit and up to circled your clit with the tip of his tongue.

“What’s this time?” Leon asked, the way he asked it was evident how this wasn’t the first time you hit him up in the darkest hour to come and comfort you. Not that he would complain, he’d do anything to bury his cock inside of you, a pretty, clueless girl half his age. But Leon knows the cluelessness you cling to was nothing but an act you like to put on for him and only for him. You know how wrong it is, to be cheating and could possibly ruin the friendship between him and your siblings— but you didn’t care.

And, neither does Leon.

“He's bein’ mean,” You breathed out, a small pout forming on your swollen, red-tinted lips as you looked up at him with dewy eyes. “He’s just not you, Leon,” Leon smirked at your words, planting a soft kiss on your clit and pulling his slick-coated digits out of your warm hole before he stands up from his knees to unbuckled his belts. “Of course, he isn’t, baby.” He chuckled softly, the sound of his leather belt and pants falling to the carpeted floor with a soft thud could be heard before he shifted his position, placing himself between your legs as his hands dips lower to grasp your waist. “You probably think of me when he’s fucking you, don’t you?” It drives you insane each time his voice drops an octave, lightly growling into your ear as you bit your lower lip back, bashfully nodding your head to his question.

“Fucking whore,” You couldn’t bring yourself to care only caring the way your needy cunt clenching around nothing each time he degrades you. “I’m your slut.” His smile widened before Leon lined his cock into your entrance, tapping on your sensitive clit with the tip of his shaft before he buried his cock into your small cunt. “Damn right, you are.” He hissed, a sharp breath emitted past his lips as the sensation of your velvety walls wrapped snugly around him, grazing against the prominent vein on the side of his cock with every thrust.

Leon enjoyed the risk as much as you. He probably enjoyed it much more than you, and to be honest, there’s nothing Leon anticipated your calls like a depraved man. For as long as you and him have been doing this, you have been calling him every two weeks in a consistent pattern. The longest you have not called him was a month before you hit him up again, asking him if he can come over to your house because your boyfriend was being a headache again. And he never once declined your offer, the second he sees your name displayed on the screen of his cellphone, he had already grabbed his key and stepped out of his front door.

It drives him insane and occasionally, he’d prayed your boyfriend fucked up big time so he can finally fill the spot as your boyfriend whether Claire or Chris likes it or not. Not that he cared, Leon wasn’t the type to give up things that easily and he surely isn’t giving you up sooner or later.

The sequence of shared moans and groans filled every corner of your room, accompanied by the sound of yours and his skin slapping against each other. You swallowed thickly each time he plays with your clit and your hardened nipple with his fingers, making sure your other tit isn’t left out as he invites the bud into his mouth before swirling his tongue around it. “W-want more,” You whined, your voice pitching slightly as you weakly kisses his jawline. Your arms around his neck bring him closer to your body. A gasp left your lips when he snapped his hips harder, thrusting rougher into you as your eyes shoots wide. “Fuck!” You cursed, back arching into his body as you practically let him use you like nothing but a dolled-up fleshlight. “You’re such a, shit, slut, you know that right? Begging me to come over so you can forget your boyfriend.”

“You’re my b-boyfriend now,” Your words were slurred, if he wasn’t so close to you, he would’ve assumed what you had just said was gibberish. Leon can’t help but laughed at you, burying his cock deeper into the warmth of your pussy as he lets out a shaky breath. His sweaty forehead pressed against your shoulder, hips jerking back and forth as he feels your body shudder every time he’s balls deep inside of you.

Leon fucking loves this risqué escapade the two of you created.

“Oh yeah? What does that make you, baby?” He coos into your ear, the pace of his thrusts gradually growing harder and rougher as each minute passed, leaving you breathless and squirmish under the older man. “Your girlfriend!” You screamed, eyes tightly shut as your freshly-manicured nails digs into the flesh of his shoulder blades. The wooden bedframe rapidly slammed against your wall, creaking under the weight of the two of you. The overwhelming pleasure creates a knot deep below your stomach, threatening to break each time Leon abused your sweet spots to their limits. He knows you’re close to cumming, your eyes losing focus on his face, your cunt clinging to him for its dear life and your breathing grow ragged.

“Gonna cum, L-Leon.” You managed to speak between your hiccups and moans, looking back into his eyes as he hungrily pulled you into a sloppy kiss. “I'm finishing inside, okay princess?” He smiled once you nodded, his thrust going sloppier before the two of you eventually come undone, breath hitching as you hold onto Leon tighter. You can feel his cock shooting his warm cum deep inside of your pussy, stuffing you full before he pulled out to salivate over the sight of his cum overflowing out of your abused hole, dripping down to your ass as lay there, breathless and splayed open for him to admire you.

His work of art.

The sound of your phone blaring your ringtone caught the two of your attention. Leon walked over to your table, grabbing the cell phone before he smirked upon seeing the name of your boyfriend displayed on your screen. “Wouldn’t want to make your boyfriend wait now, would you?”

how you ain’t hitting it like you ’posed to hit it. you slipping, i think it’s time i slip in, dog.

have thoughts abt re men or cod men? send it to my way! (im begging, i literally have the nastiest thoughts for these men) (ﾟ⁠οﾟ⁠人⁠)⁠) no proofread on this one, we going raw like leon. (but pls ignore if theres any grammatical error, im begging u)

[1-800-imagines]

bikini part 2 |r.c.|

series masterlist here

obx masterlist

the experience with rafe had left you reeling. you still felt his fingers on your lips. even now, hours later at the party.  the same party that rafe had said he would see you at.

you and sarah had shown up before it fully kicked off as john b had asked her to come. it was officially a pogue party rather than a kook party. kook parties were usually held by topper or rafe.

“earth to y/n, what’s going on?” sarah asked as she elbowed you. 

you just shook your head, how were you supposed to tell your best friend that your thoughts were consumed about her older brother. “distracted, sorry. go have fun though, don’t let me stop you from bein with your pogue boy.” you elbowed her back, grinning a little.

she grinned and leaned over to kiss your cheek. 

soon after sarah had left you. the party was finally kicking off. you had been talking to jj maybank and sipping on your first drink for the most part, bonding over the fact that both your best friends were dating. 

to an outsider, it might have looked like you were flirting with jj. you laughed at something jj said and pushed at his arm, “you’re so dumb.” you shook your head, grinning. 

jj smiled back at you for a moment but his demeanor changed rapidly.  his face turning into a frown as he looked beyond you. your back was to whatever was jj was looking at so you decided to turn to see what it was. 

it was rafe, and boy did he look angry. jj looked at you and said, “i’m out, catch ya later.” he threw his hands in the air and walked away.

you just nodded. knowing rafe’s reputation, especially with the pogues; you didn’t blame  jj. rafe had never shown you that side of himself. you had seen it directed towards others in front of you but never you. 

rafe looked pissed when he walked up to you. “was he giving you issues?” he asked, motioning towards jj who was walking away, not even bothering to greet you. 

“no we were just talking, rafe.” you frowned at him. 

“did he hurt your feelings? you’re frowning.” rafe wanted answers, of course, there weren’t answers to be had. his eyes scanned down your body to make sure there wasn't a mark on you.

you smiled lightly, “i’m frowning at you silly.” you got closer to him and put your hand on his bicep. “so protective and you don’t need to be.” as soon as you touched him, the memories of earlier came rushing back. 

rafe huffed, “isn’t is fucking obvious, y/n?” you didn’t know what you did to annoy him so your frown returned. 

“rafe- i,” you stumbled on your words, “i honestly don’t know what you’re talking about.”

rafe, getting increasingly frustrated, grabbed your wrist and pulled you to a more secluded spot on the beach, the two of you shielded behind a sand dune. 

“rafe, i-“ your heart was hammering, you hated the idea that he was upset with you. 

“just shut up for a second.” the words hit you like a slap in the face, tears welled in your eyes and you turned on you heel to leave, wrenching yourself out of his grasp. 

his grip tightened and he spun you back around. before you knew what was happening, rafe had you pushed up against the sand dune and his lips were on yours. 

you were stiff for a moment before welcoming his kiss. gently kissing him back. his hand snaked into your hair and pulled your hair back gently. he kissed your pulse point and grazed his teeth over it. you shuddered slightly, a chill running up your spine. 

he pulled back from you and caressed your face, “i’m sorry i upset you. i just- i’m not good with speaking my feelings.” he sighed, “you’re just so damn beautiful and i can’t stand the thought of his hands on you.”

you brought your hand up to his cheek and you smiled lightly, “no one’s hands were on me. i promise.”

rafe melted in your soft touch. he visibly relaxed and put his head in the crook of your neck, “i’ve wanted you for so fucking long.” 

you gently ran your fingers up the back of his neck and to the base of his scalp, “i’ve felt the same.” you whispered. 

rafe groaned and said, “i should’ve done this earlier. seeing you earlier…fuck.” just thinking about it was making him hard. 

“but what about sarah.” you frowned. his head lifted off your neck and he frowned seeing you frown. 

“she dated my best friend. she can handle me dating hers.” he said briskly. 

“you wanna date me?” you asked softly, looking up at him. 

rafe just grinned and rolled his eyes, “yeah. wanna make you mine. don’t want anyone even looking at you ever again.”

your breathe caught and you crashed your lips into his, after a moment, you bit his lip and pulled away, “make me yours rafe cameron.”

WHO WANTS PART 3?!?!?

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[hybbart]

This may be a silly question, but why is Jimmy often made the youngest in sibling headcanons?

Pearl was the youngest in Empires, and is the youngest in Hermitcraft, so i'm curious why Jimmy is often made the youngest in these headcannons over Pearl?

Because most people don't know/don't care about/actively avoid learning their exact irl ages, and go off vibes. And if Jimmy has anything, it's little brother vibes.

He was already canonically the baby brother to Lizzie in E1, so it's easy to elaborate that into any sibling heeadcanons. And he's been known to activate the older players parental/protective instincts with his whining (I.E. Doc in the DO2 open day) while his peers like to pick on him, so it can give the impression of him being the baby of the bunch.

Usually Grian's made the eldest in skybling headcanons, so it often comes down to how he treats them and they treat him back. And no one picks on Jimmy more than Grian. Whenever Jimmy tries to fight back by puffing up his chest or threatening him back Grian's also quick to put him in his place. They even tussle irl. Given he's usually HC as taller than Grian (as is also very common with younger siblings irl I believe, too) if you put that into the context of a HC where they're siblings it gives the vibes of someone who's grown up being picked on since they were smaller or by someone who is older and has no reason to fear them cause the pecking order as it were has been long sorted. I think the crossover has a lot examples of this dynamic. It very much fits into the stereotype of older kids movies where the teenage older brother is a bully.

But then there's also moments where Grian is kind, and those moments are specifically of Grian being proud, or mentoring him. Grian is frequently just better at most things in minecraft in particular, which also gives the vibes of Jimmy being a younger sibling. Grian never intentionally depends on Jimmy. As someone with much younger siblings myself, the same way parents will say their kids will always be their baby, when you're an older sibling watching someone always be a few years behind you going through everything you already have you can easily fall into that similar mindset, and it's easy to interpret/elaborate that dynamic into that.

Compared to Pearl, who is very talented and mature, so Grian treats her much more equally. Their pranks are prank wars, not one picking on the other. Pearl matches Grian, which I think is why she's not just usually older than Jimmy but frequently Grian's twin.

I think back to the charity event, where Grian and Jimmy's interactions were them having a physical fight and Grian yelling at Jimmy to follow his orders, and Grian and Pearl's interactions were Grian turning to her for a hug while his mouth was burning and being vulnerable. That contrast definitely can give off the impression that Grian is more vulnerable with Pearl - something you usually see in siblings of a closer age going through the same things at the same time - in contrast to Jimmy who he is very domineering even if they're being affectionate.

Pearl is just also... Well, Pearl is a much more mature person in general compared to both of them. She's very silly and sometimes weird, very wet cat, but she's also much more put together, able to organize things like mail services and garbage collection, and she gets along quite well with older players easily. This is the hardest one to really describe properly, and it's the thing that least correlates to where she might be HC in sibling order, since there's an argument to be made/tropes for why any given sibling is most mature, but it's something that compounds with the other things.

There's also just the fact that Jimmy's skin is cutesier. Like they all have cute skins but Jimmy's definitely gives off kicked puppy vibes more than Grian or Pearl's. Jimmy also has that tattle tale vibe to him, he's not exactly quiet when people pick on him. He's also a bit obsessed with fitting in and being in a gang, as he puts it. It's hard not to get baby brother vibes when Grian and Joel bully him yet he still chases after them declaring them to be the coolest and wanting to be their friend. (The bad boys... depending on what part of their dynamic you focus in on you could make an argument Jimmy was the responsible one and see him as the oldest but I think the majority of their dynamic definitely gives him little brother vibes.)

I think a little bit is also probably just because she has a deeper more relaxed voice, while Jimmy's voice is often shrill and excitable. (Jimmy also does the whole Youtuber Interaction thing with how he talks to the audience and advertises himself, which definitely makes him come off younger.)

And another little bit probably is just simply that, of all the people Jimmy gets sibling HCs with, he's the least skilled. He's improving as a builder but it's a process we've been able to watch happen and many of the sibling HCs are the ones who teach him and encourage him. He's not really a PvPer and he doesn't know anything about redstone. When he RPs or dresses up he picks the sorts of things even small children know about like superheroes and cowboys. (He's one of the more aggressively PG folks too which means his humour and references often stay within the realm of things younger folks find relatable like tiktok and toy story). Jimmy also is quite adamant about his youth, like how he got angry when Impulse said he was thirty and fawned over Tango calling him young. Stereotypically younger siblings often try to pretend to be older, but in this case I think it just emphasizes that he is in fact young.

Contrast that with Pearl who is constantly aggressively learning new skills on top of just picking them up quickly, and he RP ideas are things like civil servants and stories with very elaborate original worldbuilding based on her own art. And she doesn't really ever bring up her age so you have to go searching to actually find it out. It's easy enough to look at them in a vacuum and see Jimmy as younger and less experienced still learning while Pearl is someone older with a more solid foundation.

Ultimately it's a matter of what you focus on, I'm sure like with the bad boys example if you pay attention to different qualities you could come away with a different interpretation, but I think especially among people who don't care/actively avoid irl information it's easy to interpret Jimmy as younger.

[b1mbodoll]

omg!!!!! the seeun + yunjin dranble ^○^ mind is so empty they were so perfect <3 thank you for writing them u literally r so insanely talented (and so so cool i am such a big fan! read: kiss me on the mouth) 😵‍💫 also omg the ghostface thoughts????? so insane i actually started loosing my mind ^^

just imagine ghostface!siblings jakehoon who have been watching you, their adorable little neighbor from their window when you dress yourself and strip at night (￣^￣)ゞ n when they get the idea to get in your pants finally, they cant stop calling you and telling you to touch yourself over the phone with your room lights on so they can see and hear you :( and later when they decide to sneak in your house (while your parents are there!!!!!!!) and fuck u silly in your childhood bed saying it would be such a shame not to make you a mommy 🎀🎀🎀 n telling you how cute u would look with cum all over u! and all u can do is take it while you beg them to stop (but your body is saying something different!!!)

love 🎀 anonie!

pairings: jake sim + park sunghoon x f! reader

warnings: noncon + stalking + voyeurism + ghostface! stepbrothers! jakehoon + neighbor! reader + exhibitionism + pregnancy + virgin! reader + manipulation + gaslighting + oral + mention of hymen breaking + dacryphilia + lactation + objectification

💌: im soso glad u liked them <3 i literally Have to smooch u bc u r just the sweetest ever n ur lil msgs make me smile sm bc i nvr thought my silly lil writing was good enough to deserve ur kind words??? we r bffs now i hope u know this

stepbros! jakehoon being so sick n depraved they get off on scaring you into putting on a lil show for them. tell you to keep ur blinds open n lamp on while you touch yourself for them <3 tell u that if you dont put ur phone up to ur cunt so they can hear, that theyre gonna break in n touch your pussy themselves. ghostface! jake is the sweeter of the two, calls you pretty while ur knuckles deep in your cunt n tells you that ur bein’ such a good girl, promises to reward you when they get the courage to break in. ghostface! hoon is a fucking sadist. his dick hardens at the mere thought of pushing past your hymen n breaking it, wonders if you’ll cry from the pain or not even bother wasting ur tears bc you know worse things r coming.

they follow you around while ur running errands and then later that night, call you up n explain in great detail how you looked n what you did today ^^ hoon can’t help it n starts calling you all sorts of mean names bc how could you not realize they were following you? “you’re nothing but a dumb fucking bimbo made for us to toy with, understand? can’t believe you’re so clueless you didn’t see us,” he taunts, “or did you? maybe you saw us ‘nd didnt say a word cus you want us just as bad as we want you, yeah?” you shake your head at his words, phone almost slipping from your grasp while he continues to mock you. “no! i didn’t see you ‘nd i don’t want this please jus’ leave me alone!” you’re so frustrated. for weeks they’ve been insisting you’re a freak that wants to get dicked down by ur stalkers and you’re starting to believe it.

jake and sunghoon break into your house sometimes when ur in the shower. they lay in your bed and jerk their cocks together, cum making a mess of your pillows. steal some dirty panties too bc they r so desperate for your pussy n when they get back to their house the boys sniff ur panties like dogs ^^

they stop calling for a couple of weeks n let you think ur finally free from their torment, but when you find yourself impaled on sunghoon’s cock as jake slaps his dick on ur cheeks before sliding down your throat, you start sobbing bc how could you be so stupid as to think they’d seriously leave you alone? you belong to them whether you know it or not and they show you. make you suck them off at the same time n the brothers do their best to cover ur entire face with cum <3 wna make you completely unrecognizable by painting ur face with it n it makes you clench ur thighs bc the fact that they wna keep u for themselves must mean they’re in love with you.

the first time sunghoon fucks your pussy he instantly becomes obsessed. shoots his load deep inside when your hymen breaks bc the feeling made you cum first, pussy leaving a ring of cum n blood around his thick cock. the two of them are infatuated with your pussy ‘nd fill you up with load after load of cum even if your parents are home. jake’s fixation on your innocence is so sick, makes you cuddle one of ur childhood plushies as his dick rearranges your insides <3 likes when you bite them to keep quiet too

ghostface! jakehoon r also into the idea of getting u pregnant. tell you theyre gonna ruin your “mommycunt” n milk your tits like a cow bc ur nothing more than a breeding bitch to them

[hauntedhowlett-writes]

title: a very furby christmas

pairing: pre-outbreak!joel miller x female reader

rating: t

word count: 3.6k

joel miller masterlist | all masterlists

summary:

it’s christmas eve 1998 and joel miller thinks everything is perfect.

well, until his brother admits he didn’t get sarah the one present she wanted - the furby. now, joel has to go out on christmas eve to find the year’s hottest toy that’s been sold out for months.

turns out, you’re on the same mission. and you’ve both found the last furby in town.

author’s note:

this is just a silly lil feel good holiday fic that’s been plaguing my brain. if you are too young to have experience the furby craze, i implore you to look it up. however, if you do remember, i hope this gives you a happy dose of nostalgia. gingerbread dividers by @saradika-graphics

tags/warnings:

pre-outbreak, no use of y/n, holiday/christmas fic, the last toy trope, no smut, age gap - not explicitly specified but joel is 31 and reader is mid-20s, the great miller gingerbread construction competition, operation get sarah miller a furby, some kissing.

“Dad! Wake up!” Sarah shouts, bursting into Joel’s room. She leaps onto the bed, bouncing on her knees and jostling him around on the mattress as he groans.

“Sarah, baby, it’s too damn early,” he says, pulling the quilt over his head. “Go back to sleep.”

“But it’s Christmas Eve!” The bouncing stops as she lays beside him, tugging the quilt down. “It’s time to make cinnamon rolls. And we gotta make cookies for Santa.”

Joel blinks, his daughter’s face coming into focus, bright brown eyes and a gap toothed smile filling his vision. Her hair is a wild mess from sleep and her unicorn pajama shirt is stained with toothpaste. At eight years old, she’s starting to lean out, her cheeks no longer as round and her limbs at that stage of awkward adolescent lankiness. He wants to sleep, wants a few more hours of rest after a jam packed holiday season of repairs and deadlines and supply issues, but looking at her smiling face and remembering that she’s getting older…

Well, that gets him moving.

“Alright. Let’s get downstairs and make Santa the best cookies he’s ever had.”

She squeals, scrambling off the bed and racing out of the room, light footsteps descending the stairs as he rubs the sleep from his eyes and gets up to find a t-shirt in the pile of laundry he’s neglected to put away, opting to dig through its wrinkled contents for what he needs each day instead.

He makes his way downstairs and to find his daughter rummaging through the fridge and pulling out eggs and milk for their customary Christmas Eve cinnamon rolls and the jangle of keys in the doorknob lets him know that Tommy has arrived.

“Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas, Millers!” His younger brother announces. “Sarah! It don’t smell like cinnamon in here!”

“Dad woke up late,” she shouts back. Tommy grins at Joel as he passes, slapping a hand on his shoulder.

“‘Course he did,” he says with a wink. Joel rolls his eyes as he gets the electric mixer from the top cabinet for Sarah and preheats the oven for her.

“Y’know, Santa can take all those presents he’s got ready for you and leave them at other houses for nicer kids,” he says. Sarah’s eyes go wide.

“He wouldn’t!” She yelps. “I’ve been good all year!”

“Don’t listen to your daddy, sweetheart. He’s just bein’ a sensitive Sally,” Tommy says. She breathes a sigh of relief, her attention returning to her task of cracking eggs.

“I just really hope Santa brings me a Furby,” she says wistfully. “I want one of ‘em so bad. Chrissy got one when they came out in October and they’re so cool!”

“I’m sure Santa will come through,” Joel says, catching Tommy’s eye and winking. Tommy’s brows pinch together as he mouths, “What?”

Joel widens his eyes at him, a look that screams, “What do you mean, what?!”

Tommy continues to look confused and Joel squeezes his eyes shut, turning back to his daughter to help her with rolling out the dough she’s mixed up. She continues to chat about her excitement for tomorrow, especially because her big sister has agreed to stop by in the morning.

“You didn’t forget that she’s coming, right?” Sarah asks.

“‘Course not, sweetie,” Joel replies distractedly. The hours Joel works aren’t always conducive to a prompt after school pick up, so most days Sarah spends time with a volunteer from the Empowered Girls program that she calls her “big sister”. He always forgets her name, but he knows she’s a student working on her master’s degree in elementary education at University of Texas. Did he forget she was coming? Yeah, maybe, but he’s got bigger problems right now.

Like the fact that Tommy is acting like he has no clue he was supposed to get Sarah that damn Furby for Christmas.

Once the cinnamon rolls are in the oven and Sarah returns to her room to get dressed for the day, Joel smacks Tommy on the back of the head.

“Ow! The fuck?” He asks, rubbing the sore spot. “What was that for?”

“Tell me you didn’t forget that perfect little girl’s goddamn talkin’ demon toy or I’ll do it again,” Joel warns, already raising his hand. Tommy scrambles from his seat, hands held up defensively as he backs himself up against the counter to get away from his brother’s assault.

“You didn’t tell me to get one!” He insists. Joel stares at him incredulously.

“I sure as hell did! I gave you fifty bucks three weeks ago and asked you to get one because I’d be workin’ OT until Christmas Eve and it would be too late by then!”

“I thought the fifty was for me. Like an early gift or somethin’.”

Joel closes his eyes and attempts to take a deep breath. When he opens his eyes, he feels no more calm as he looks at his brother.

“Great. Now I’m gonna have to go to the goddamn toy store on Christmas Eve to find one of these things.”

“I’ll go for you,” Tommy offers. Joel hits him with a look.

“No. I ain’t makin’ that mistake again. You’re stayin’ here with Sarah and I’ll go get the Furball.”

“It’s Furby,” Tommy corrects. Joel reaches out and smacks his head again before he can protect himself.

Sarah returns to the kitchen, dressed in her Rudolph t-shirt and jeans and smiling brightly as she says, “I’m ready to make cookies!”

Joel smiles apologetically. “Bad news, sweetheart. I gotta run down to a job site and check in on somethin’. Looks like a plumbin’ emergency.”

“On Christmas Eve?” She asks, smile dropping from her face. “But we have to make the cookies!”

“I know, I know, but Uncle Tommy will stay and help you. Ain’t that right, Tommy?”

“Yep. And we’ll make cookies better than any your daddy has ever made, too.”

Joel’s teeth grind together at the dig but he keeps smiling at his daughter. “Right. See? I shouldn’t be gone too long.”

“I guess,” she says forlornly. Her arms wrap around Joel’s legs and squeeze tightly. Joel smooths a hand over her wild hair, glaring at Tommy.

“Sorry, sweetie. But the sooner I head out, the sooner I can get back, okay?”

“Okay,” she mumbles against his thigh. “I’ll make sure Uncle Tommy doesn’t eat all the dough before we bake it.

“That’s my girl,” Joel says.

________

You knew you shouldn’t have waited this long to go shopping for your little sister’s Christmas gift, but you’d picked up extra shifts at your part time job since you weren’t flying home for the holiday break and time just slipped away from you. Now you’re entering your fourth store on a desperate hunt for the one toy she hasn’t stopped talking about since it came out in October.

“It’s called a Furby and the more you talk to it, the more it learns,” she told you, showing you the fluffy toy in a catalog one day. “Isn’t it so cute?!”

“It’s…something,” you replied, staring at its dead eyes. “And that’s what you want for Christmas?”

“Yeah, I don’t know if Santa will bring it for me. I told dad about it, but he’s been really busy with work and I don’t know if he remembered to tell Santa.”

You wander around the store, looking for the garish pink and blue sign that lorded over the toy display. You finally spot it, crossing your fingers as you quickly approach what looks like a mostly barren shelf. There’s something on the bottom row, but your experience in other stores has showed you that often people abandon their unwanted items in the Furby display, leading to false hope.

“Please, please, please,” You mumble, moving quickly now. You’re trying not to break into a run in the middle of the store but after so many disappointments, you can’t be blamed for your steps turning into a light jog.

A pair of unseeing mechanical blue eyes stare back at you from the bottom shelf as you get closer. Pristine white fur, pointed ears, and a little yellow beak encased in plastic.

The last Furby.

You’re so close to success you can taste it.

You reach for the toy, ready to scoop it into your arms and take a victory march to the lone cashier left working, when a tan hand emerges from your left, landing on the box just as you touch it.

“‘Scuse me,” a deep voice says, southern drawl blanketing the words. You look up, gaze meeting the warm brown eyes of a handsome man, tall and broad with messy dark curls. He smiles, all smooth charm as he says, “I’m goin’ to need this toy.”

You stand firm. “I think I was here first, sir.”

The charming smile drops. “No, I don’t think so.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Look, I need this toy for my daughter. I’ve been lookin’ for one all over town.”

You place your free hand on your hip. “I need it for my little sister and I’ve also been all over town today. If you needed it so bad, why didn’t you get it sooner?”

“Pot, meet kettle,” he replies. You roll your eyes. “Come on, please? Ain’t there somethin’ else your little sister is dyin’ to have?”

“She’s talked about this toy for months,” you tell him. “And she’s worried Santa isn’t going to bring it, so I wanted to make sure I got her one.”

He smiles softly. “Sounds like my daughter. She handed me no less than five letters to Santa to mail off askin’ for one.”

“So why didn’t you get one before tonight?” You ask curiously.

“My dumbass brother,” he says. “I‘ve been workin’ overtime for the last few months, so I told him to go out and get one. He didn’t listen.”

“That sucks.”

“What about you? What made you wait so long?”

It should probably feel weird, having a full conversation with a stranger while you’re in a stand off over a Furby, but the man’s smile has your stomach twisting, wanting to know more about him and oddly thrilled that he wants to know more about you, too.

“I picked up a lot of extra shifts since I’m on break. I go to UT,” you tell him. “Time just got away from me.”

“Yeah, I’m familiar with the feelin’.”

A crackle sounds over the store speakers, a bored voice announcing, “Attention Toys R’ Us shoppers. The store will be closing in five minutes. Please make your way to the front of the store to complete your purchases.”

The man’s expression grows panicked. You sigh, taking your hand from the box.

“Get it for your daughter,” you tell him. “Keep that Santa magic going for a bit longer.”

“Are you sure?” He asks. “What’ll you get for your sister?”

You look around the store, spotting a sporting gear display. You take off in its direction.

“I’ll figure something out!”

________

“It’s a Furby!” Sarah shouts, shaking the box in her excitement. “Look, dad! Santa got me a Furby!”

“Is that so?” Joel says, sipping from his mug of coffee with a splash of Bailey’s, his own personal Christmas tradition. “See? I told ya I sent out all those letters you wrote.”

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” She chants, running around the family room in her red plaid pajamas. Tommy, still barely awake, nods as Sarah shows him the list of features on the back.

It’s close to 9 a.m. but the Miller brothers had a late night of wrapping presents and drinking whiskey in order to have the tidy pile of brightly colored boxes ready beneath the tree for Sarah in the morning. Joel had also gotten her a new journal and a pack of Jelly pens, a few bottles of nail polish, and two new Beanie Babies for her collection. Tommy had sprung for a set of shin guards for when she starts soccer in March, something she was excited for ever since the girl she’d been paired with in her big sister after school program had played with her a few times.

It’s not much, but it’s what he could manage. Sarah is happy, her eyes lighting up with each gift she unwraps, and that’s all that matters to Joel.

A knock sounds at the door and Sarah races down the hall, Joel trailing after her trying to remind her not to open the door to strangers. The young girl doesn’t listen, instead throwing open the door and launching herself into the arms of someone surprisingly familiar.

You look up, eyes going wide in surprise he’s sure mirrors his own. Sarah drags you in by the hand, excitedly introducing you, giving Joel a name for the pretty face he’d been thinking about all last night.

“Hi, I’m Joel,” he says, holding a hand out to you. You slip your palm against his, warm and smooth, shaking his hand. The smile on your face is mischievous, the secret the two of you share dancing in your eyes.

“Nice to meet you, Joel,” you tell him. “Hope I’m not too early, Sarah said you open presents around eight and to come after that.”

“No, no, ‘course it ain’t too early,” he assures you. He realizes he’s still holding your hand, even as silence settles between you. With a laugh, he draws back, running his hand through his hair nervously. “You want coffee?”

“Sure.”

Joel leads you to the kitchen where Tommy is pulling a fresh tray of cinnamon rolls from the oven under Sarah’s careful supervision. He whacks her hand with a dish towel when she tries to reach for the steaming hot dessert and she pouts pitifully. She spots the gift bag in your hand and her eyes light up.

“Is that a present for me?” She asks.

“Sarah Elizabeth Miller,” Joel chastises. You laugh, handing the bag over to her. She rips the tissue paper from the top, reaching in for her gift with a wide smile.

“A soccer ball!” She exclaims. “Dad, you can help me practice in the backyard now!”

You share a look with Joel, one where his gaze is filled with gratitude and yours reflects understanding. The moment is made brief by Sarah trying to bounce the ball on her knee, knocking it onto a counter and subsequently being told to go put it away for now.

You introduce yourself to Tommy while Joel pulls you a mug of coffee. Sarah brings her now unboxed Furby into the kitchen, setting it in a place of honor on the dining table.

“Dad, can you put batteries in Snowball?” Sarah asks. She turns to you. “That’s his name.”

“Oh. Hello, Snowball,” you say, voice serious as you regard the toy. Joel laughs while he digs around the junk drawer for the rogue batteries that hide beneath bills and takeout menus.

As breakfast is served and toys are turned on, conversation flows between everyone easily. It’s a wonder, Joel thinks. You fit right in with his little family, like you were meant to be there all along. Maybe it’s the Bailey’s in his coffee, or maybe it’s the spirit of Christmas, but he can’t help the warmth in his chest as he watches you help Sarah with the Furby that started it all.

________

You’ve been at the Miller house since early that morning, through all three meals of the day, many rounds of coffee, a screening of Home Alone and A Christmas Story, and painting your nails with Sarah. Not once does anyone make you feel like you’ve overstayed your welcome. In fact, as the day wears on, you can’t help but think that Joel, like you, doesn’t want the day to end. You keep catching his eye and the crooked smile he gives you leaves you feeling giddy.

After dinner, Joel and Tommy start gathering what looks like cookie decorating supplies. Sarah sighs and you turn to her with concern.

“It’s time for the gingerbread competition,” she says, more solemn than an eight year old ought to be. Joel leaves the room and returns with a caulking gun.

“Why does he have that?” You ask, watching as he loads a saran wrapped bag of icing into the chamber.

“They take this…very seriously.”

Tommy and Joel set up decorating stations on either end of the dining table, shooing you out of your seat. Sarah grabs a cookie from a platter on the counter and settles onto a barstool while you stand by, confused and maybe a little scared.

“Are you ready?” Sarah asks. Both men nod. “Start your construction!”

Joel and Tommy rip into the cardboard gingerbread house kits, determination in every move. Joel uses the caulking gun to lay a foundation for the floor of his house, followed by the sides and the roof in quick succession. While Joel is going for a well built structure, Tommy takes a more avant garde approach, using a combination of licorice and frosting to hold his house together.

“Are they always like this?” You ask, fascinated as you watch them.

“Sometimes they’re worse.”

Tommy chucks a peppermint at Joel’s head, the candy bouncing off his forehead and landing on his gingerbread shingles. He counters with a gumdrop that manages to hit Tommy square in the eye, angry curses falling from the younger Miller brother’s lips as he tries to recover and continue the construction of his mid-century cookie home.

“Quit fightin’ dirty,” Joel says when Tommy whines about him being unfair. “I‘ll only fight dirtier.”

You know that the words aren’t meant to be suggestive but you can feel your cheeks go warm nonetheless. The Furby in Sarah’s arms coos, a string of indecipherable words coming from its little yellow beak.

“What did it say?” You ask.

“I’m not sure. It’s still speaking Furbish,” she says.

“It said,” Joel chimes in, setting down his frosting gun, “that I’m the gingerbread construction champ.”

Joel’s little gingerbread house looks like it’s straight from a magazine. Perfectly built, structurally sound, and classically decorated with candy and sugar. You and Sarah both applaud as Tommy groans. His little house lists to the side and a glob of icing drips to the table.

“Don’t worry, Uncle Tommy,” Sarah says to her dejected uncle, patting him on the shoulder. “There’s always next year.”

“Alright, it’s time to start closin’ up shop. To bed with you,” Joel announces, steering Sarah for the stairs.

“Can’t I stay up later?” She complains. The Furby echoes her tone convincingly.

“I already fell for that last night. You’re not gettin’ away with it twice. Bed, and brush your teeth,” he replies, kissing her on the head. “Tell everyone goodnight.”

She hugs you and Tommy before heading upstairs, the Furby chirping as she goes. Tommy punches Joel lightly on the shoulder.

“You know I let you win, right?” He asks. Joel scoffs.

“The proof is in the cookie,” he says.

Tommy rolls his eyes. “Whatever, man. I’m headin’ home,” he says, hugging his brother. To your surprise, his arms wrap around you in a quick squeeze as well. “It was nice to meet you. Don’t be a stranger,” he tells you with a wink.

When the front door clicks shut, it’s just you and Joel in the kitchen. You’re inexplicably nervous now, despite spending the whole day with the man, and you busy yourself by loading the dishwasher with mugs stained by hot chocolate and coffee.

“You don’t have to do that,” Joel says, gently grasping your wrist. He removes the mug from your hand and sets it on the counter. He pulls you close, your chest brushing his as you take in a surprised breath. “This okay?”

“Yeah,” you murmur. Up close, you can see the stubble that’s grown along his jaw, the slight creases in the corners of his eyes, and that his nose is just the slightest bit crooked. A heavy palm rests on your lower back, the heat of him palpable even through your t-shirt.

“Can I kiss you?” He asks, voice dropped low in the quiet room.

You nod, unable to form words, but that’s okay. His hand cups your cheek and his lips press to yours and your eyes flutter shut, a sigh escaping you as you lean into him. It’s soft at first, experimental. A tentative exploration of a broken boundary.

You wrap your arms around his shoulders, holding tight as he parts your lips and his tongue tangles with yours. He tastes like sugar - peppermints and hot chocolate and cookies that he’s eaten throughout the day sweetening his kiss. When he pulls back for a breath, he dips his forehead against yours, smoothing his thumb across your cheek.

“Been wantin’ to do that all day,” he tells you. He kisses you once, twice, and is about to go in for a third when a voice from upstairs interrupts him.

“Dad?” Sarah calls. Joel steps back from you, leaning past the kitchen doorway to yell back a, “Yeah?”

“Snowball won’t stop talking,” she replies. Footsteps sound on the stairs and Joel breaks away from you as Sarah enters the kitchen, Furby in hand.

“Take the batteries out,” Joel suggests.

“I did.”

She turns the toy over, showing the empty battery compartment. Joel rubs the back of his neck as he thinks.

“Tell you what,” he says, holding his hands out for the toy, “Why don’t we stick it in the hall closet for the night?”

“Won’t he be scared?”

“It’s…it’s a toy, baby.” You stifle a laugh as he shoves the talking Furby beneath some towels in the linen closet and shuts the door. “There, now you can both get some sleep. You can play with Snowball again in the mornin’.”

Sarah yawns, nodding. Joel kisses her head before urging her back to bed. When he returns, his shoulders shake with silent laughter.

“What a weird toy,” you tell him, eyeing the closet suspiciously.

“Yeah, but it’s what got us here,” he says, pulling you into his arms once more.

[pichiru]

The Sun Also Smiles - Chapter 2

Chapters - [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7]

Summary - With Mabel and Dipper's 16th birthday party on the horizon, Grunkle Stan takes to online dating to find a date for the party. Things start to get real weird real fast.

Word Count - 2,805

Pairing(s) - Stan Pines x OC

Genre(s): Romance, Comedy, Mystery

~~~~~~~~

SunshineSoul said:

Good evening, Mr. Pines 😊

BigManPines said:

Hey toots

SunshineSoul said:

"Hey toots" I like that. Do you actually talk like that in person?

BigManPines said:

Yeah. Got a problem with it?

SunshineSoul said:

Absolutely not. I love the way you talk. It's so straight forward and no silly business.

BigManPines said:

No Silly Business is my middle name.

BigManPines said:

It's not. My middle name is FIlbrick. Me and my brother have the same middle name.

SunshineSoul said:

LOL you're so funny. You type like you're nervous around me. Are you nervous?

BigManPines is typing...

BigManPines is typing...

BigManPines is typing...

BigManPines said:

Yeah. I'm nervous.

SunshineSoul said:

Why? I won't eat you. Unless you ask me ever so politely 😊

BigManPines is typing...

BigManPines is typing...

BigManPines said:

I'm just a shy old man if i'm bein honest

SunshineSoul said:

Awww. It's okay. I understand. I get really shy too. Especially around shy old men named Stan 😋

BigManPines said:

You're just sayin that

SunshineSoul said:

I'm not actually. We've only been talking for a week and I genuinely like talking to you and getting to know you. I mean that.

BigManPines said:

Well thanks toots. I like talking to you too. The fact that I'm talkin to you instead of turning on the latest episode of The Duchess Approves says a lot.

SunshineSoul said:

THAT WAS TONIGHT??? NOOOOO!!! I TOTALLY FORGOT 😭😭😭 Ugghhhhhh I think I've been working too hard

BigManPines said:

It's gonna rerun in 45 minutes. Definitely gonna tune in for that showing.

SunshineSoul said:

Yeah? You wanna like...sit on the phone and watch it together? Live reaction kind of thing? It'll be like we're watching it right beside each other :D

"Well?" Ford asked as he folded his arms. He'd been sitting next to Stan during the entire conversation to help him through it and even giving him ideas of what to say back to this mystery woman.

"Well what?" Stan asked back.

"Are you going to call her?"

Stan was quiet for a while, putting his chin in his left hand to start rubbing his stubble. He was deep in thought.

"I wanna but I know I'm just gonna make a fool out of myself if you leave me alone with her," Stan admitted, a little ashamed of this. He knew Ford was no better with this type of stuff than he was but he seemed just slightly more adept.

"Stan, I know how nervous you get around women. It truthfully baffles me but that's a conversation for a different day. But you've been talking to this woman for a week by yourself. Mostly."

"Yeah but what if I'm too gruff and off puttin for her? She seems like a proper lady. Like she doesn't even wanna get her hands dirty typa lady."

"Even the most proper of women can get down and dirty if they thought it was worth it. I learned that in college," Ford retorted. "Listen. Do you like this woman?" he asked, motioning his hand towards the laptop on the kitchen table.

Stan sat there in complete silence for a moment. "Yeah. I do."

"Then I think it'll be a good idea for you to have your first "date" with her over the phone. I know Mabel would think it's the most adorable thing she's ever seen in the world. She knows how much that tv show means to you." He crossed his legs then began bouncing his foot, thinking some more.

"I honestly think you should ask her on a proper date if this goes well," he added. "I've seen all the messages. Even the..." he cleared his throat behind a closed fist against his lips. "Saucier messages that I wish I could wipe from my memory. Where's the memory gun when you need it," he murmured under his breath.

"Hey! Nobody told your nosy ass to read those!  Just the normal ones!" Stan said suddenly, his cheeks reddening in complete embarrassment now. "Better be lucky neither of us sent any pictures."

"Speaking of pictures," Ford interrupted quickly. "Do you even know what this woman looks like? I looked at her profile and she doesn't have any pictures of herself. Just her art."

Stan shrugged. "Iunno," he said in a dismissive tone as he folded his arms now too. "A babe like her has gotta be drop dead gorgeous right? She talks like she's beautiful."

"That...That doesn't even make sense!"

"And?" Stan laughed, nudging his brother roughly with his elbow.

ding!

SunshineSoul said:

Did I scare you away?

"See? She's waiting on your answer. Say yes. I'll just head down to the lab and the kids are fast asleep. Big shopping day tomorrow for them. Especially Mabel," Ford encouraged.

"Fine." That was all he could manage to say in response. He knew in his heart that he wanted to talk to her but he also knew he would find a way to botch it.

BigManPines said:

Nah you didn't scare me off.

BigManPines said:

I wouldn't mind watching the episode on the phone with ya. I've never done anything like that before but I'm willin to try.

SunshineSoul said:

Omg yay! I get to hear that Jersey accent in real time. I love it. My number is 615-333-3333. Call me when you're ready 💜😋

"Well! Good luck!" Ford said, slamming his hand down on Stan's shoulder before he stood up and stretched. "I definitely won't be listening in with one of my spy devices," he said jokingly as he walked out of the kitchen.

"You do and I'll kill ya!" Stan yelled after him, shaking his fist.

"Yeah, yeah," Ford laughed as he walked through the door that led into the mystery shack.

Stan sat there in the kitchen in silence with his thoughts. What was the first thing he was gonna say to this woman? Will she still be into him after the date? Er...call? It's not a date. It's definitely not a date. Unless she wants to consider it a date? Then sure. It's a date.

It's not a date.

It's. Not. A. Date.

A half hour later, Stan was sitting in his recliner in the living room, holding his phone with the mystery woman's phone number dialed in and sitting on the screen. He clutched it nervously, not completely sure if he should really go through with this or not.

It's not a date. It's not a date. It's not a date. It's not a date. It's not a date. It's not a da-

He closed his eyes tightly and pressed the bright green call button on his screen. It rang a few times before it was picked up on the other end.

"Lemme guess. It's BigManPines callin me up on a Friday evening?" She chuckled sweetly.

Stan grinned almost immediately from hearing her voice. It sounded way younger than he was expecting. He was expecting an older woman based upon her interest in him. Because what would a young woman want with an old guy like him?

"Yeah, it's...it's me," he said in a tone that definitely betrayed his nervousness.

"Oh! You sound nervous. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have-"

"Nah, nah! It's okay. Like I said earlier, I'm just a shy old guy. Talkin on the phone gives me the creeps sometimes," Stan admitted.

"You're one of the in person type of people? I get it," she said in a kind sort of voice. Almost motherly.

"Yeah, I guess so. I'm just super old fashioned, toots."

"Yeah? I like that about you though," she admitted freely with a hint of a smile in her tone.

She really was just a ray of sunshine that came barreling into Stan's life this evening. It really cheered him up and made him feel a little more at ease.

"Can...Can I ask you somethin?" Stan asked after a moment.

"Of course you can, big man Stan," she said cutely, laughing a bit behind it.

"How old are ya? You don't sound like you're even within ten years of my age."

She sighed softly across the phone. "I'm not a teenager or a youngin if that's what you're asking. I'm 36 years old."

Stan laughed at her statement. "36 is a damn youngin compared to me!" He continued laughing.

"Yeah true! But look. I think you're really handsome and from the looks of the pictures on your profile, you're so buff. You work out?" She asked curiously.

"I used to box a lot in my youth. I still do it from time to time to keep up the old physique," he explained proudly. "Ya think I'm buff?"

"Yeah, I do. I also think you'd be strong enough to throw me over your shoulder," she said in a very obviously flirty tone. "Especially if I'm bad."

Stan's entire face was red at this point. He was a very straight forward person but she...she was a different breed of straight forward. He liked it. He liked it a lot.

"You bad often?" he asked cheekily.

"Maybe. We'll just have to find out soon."

Stan chuckled to himself. "I gotta ask, toots. What's your actual name? I've just been callin you Sunshine this whole time."

A shy but eager giggle could be heard on the other side of the call.

"I like that coming off your tongue. It sounds...woof," she laughed deviously. "You can call me Sunshine or Sol. It doesn't matter which. Long as you call me." If they were in person, she definitely would have winked at the old man and made him go into cardiac arrest.

Stan's heart was racing at this point in the conversation. He was nervous and excited simultaneously. Something about this woman excited him in ways he hadn't felt in a while and he didn't know what to do with that thought.

"Sol, eh? Is it short for something?"

"Solana," she said simply.

"Solana. Name's beautiful, toots," he complimented with a smile on his face. "Solana," Stan repeated, trying to find the perfect tone to say her name in now.

"Stopppppp. I hate it so much. It makes me feel like an old lady or something."

"Toots, if I knew an old lady named Solana, I'd still think your version of the name would be just as beautiful to me as it is now."

"Stopppppppppppppppp. You're making me blush so much," she squealed gently. "I caaannn'ttttt. You call yourself a shy old guy but you're just an old guy who hasn't had the opportunity to let the real him out."

"Yeah, you're probably right. Nobody's felt worth it in my life before so I just stay reserved and emotionally cut off usually."

"That sounds so lonely," Solana said in a sad voice. "But that's why I'm here now," she joked.

"Yeah. I'm glad you're here now," he said gratefully.

There was a comfortable silence as they turned their TVs on to the station they needed for the rerun of the show. Once the show came on, Solana became quiet so she could absorb what was going on in the show. She wanted to blurt her thoughts and be over the top with her reactions but she didn't want to scare Stan away. Something truly outrageous happened in the show suddenly and Stan shouted.

"What do you mean, you need a date to the cotillion! You don't need a man! You're a strong woman, Duchess!" He whisper yelled so he wouldn't wake the kids up.

Solana jumped but she laughed at his outburst. "Exaccttllyyyy!!! She's built up her entire reputation as someone who is very independent and has made it known that her world does NOT revolve around needing a man! What the hell!" she added, following behind Stan's outrage.

"Exactly toots! This is ridiculous. This show really started to go downhill in season 3. They should have just ended in season 2," Stan sighed as he sunk down in his chair in frustration.

"I agree! I was so excited when I heard they were making this into a tv show. The movie was a masterpiece," she said with a nod she knew Stan wouldn't be able to see.

"See, you get it. My niece and nephew watch with me sometimes but even they don't get the intricacies of this show."

"That's so sad. I love analyzing this show. It's so deep," Solana said fondly. "It makes me feel so secure in my womanhood sometimes," she halfway joked.

"I hear tha-"

"SAUNTERBLUGGET?!" They exclaimed in unison.

"No way they brought him back!!! He died in that carriage crash last season!!" Solana said in pure shock.

"True but listen, toots. If they don't show the dead body on camera, I never believe someone's dead. I learned that with tv shows in the past. Somethin to keep in mind goin forward," Stan advised even though he was equally as shocked as Solana was. He just wanted to also seem cool to her.

"Ohhhhhhhh! I never even thought about that honestly. Oh my god. You just opened my eyes to a whole new world. Holy shit."

"You're welcome," Stan chuckled. "What a way to end an episode."

"Ahhhhh. I know! I can't wait a whole week. This suuuccckkkssss."

"Hey..." Stan started shyly.

"Yes?"

"Would ya wanna...Iunno. Hang out in person for the next episode? I could cook for us or order somethin. Iunno. Whatever you want."

"Stanley No Silly Business Pines, are you asking me on a date?" Solana asked, happiness very clear in her voice.

"Uh...yeah. I guess if you wanna consider it that?" He said slowly at first but gained a certain air of confidence midway through his statement.

"I'd love to. Buuutttttt, I'd like to go out to dinner if that's okay with you? And we can end up at your place for the rerun of the episode?" she suggested sweetly. The way she spoke just now, Stan assumed she would have fluttered her eyelashes at him if she could. Her voice was too soothing and too convincing to not give her what she asked for.

"Yeah, sure, toots. We can do that. We can iron out details tomorrow or somethin...Iunno."

Solana laughed loudly at Stan trying to act so nonchalant about this whole thing. "Stan, you don't have to act all cool around me. I like you just the way you are."

"Yeah but that doesn't mean I'm not still gonna do it, Solana." He said her name in a teasing manner, knowing she didn't like being called that in the slightest. But! He figured he could get away with it because of how much she seemed into him at the moment. It was a little bit of a guilty pleasure, making her squirm.

"STAN!" she said loudly, embarrassment so evident.

"Yeah, Solana?" He responded, smirking devilishly.

"Oh my godddddd. You're so annoooyyyiingggg," she whined playfully.

"Not annoying enough for you to leave me alone, toots. You're still gonna be here in the morning. But at least ya can text me now instead of usin that clunky ass dating site."

"Oh, I knooowww. I hate that stupid site. You would think they'd have an app or something," she sighed dramatically.

" I dunno much about apps so I can't say. But, I'm looking forward to your good morning message, Miss Solana," he said with a grin.

Solana's silence could only be interpreted as her being flustered. "Yeah. I'm definitely gonna send you your very first good morning text ever. I have a feeling you've never dealt with women who have manners like that," she joked.

"You're damn right," he joked back.

She laughed at him. She was so happy that he could bounce off her and she could do the same. They had the exact same type of humor and it set her soul ablaze. They hadn't known each other for long but she felt like she had the tiniest bit of a connection with him.

"Good night, Stanley."

"Good night, Solana."

Stan hung up the phone and leaned back in his recliner, laying his phone on his chest. He folded his hands across the top of his stomach and closed his eyes. He didn't realize how tired he was until that moment. He didn't usually stay up this late for the rerun of The Duchess Approves. But it was worth it to get to know Solana a little more and finally get to hear her voice. Her sweet and perky voice. If sunshine had a sound, it would have been exactly what she sounded like. He only hoped that the beauty of her voice and name matched her face.

Just as he was about to drift off into sleep, his eyes popped open and he sat up quickly in terror.

I HAVE A DATE! he thought to himself as he started panicking internally.

[cokoweee]

Heavens to Betsy I’ve been meaning to go on this rant forever but I keep forgetting for some reason

Quick disclaimer- I’m not analyzing your comic at all, I just notice little accuracies that make me happy.

~

Ok coming from a psychology major student, your description of PTSD and mental health issues is actually pretty dang good. Idk if it was intentionally researched or not but there’s like a ton of stuff that’s consistent with real life trauma and it’s quite frankly impressive

Again not sure if this was intentional or not but the thing on his back reminds me so much of old school electroshock therapy which I adore bc

A: it causes confusion and memory loss which you’ve shown and

B: kinda implies that maybe he did his own research when deciding how to deal with everything or

C: again is incredibly accurate in the fact that most trauma patients continuously seek pain out, and in turn report feelings of extreme boredom and numbness when not actively experiencing pain or reliving trauma. In his case going borderline catatonic when he’s not freaking out.

On the topic of “freaking out” a lack or decrease in serotonin leads to a more reactive and intense episodes in PTSD. Or, because the little guy is like mega depressed coz of the whole situation, he gets way more intense and violent episodes that someone who was on like Prozac. And would tend to be more on edge and sensitive to triggers.

Then there’s his family. For some background, there’s a part of your brain called the amygdala. It typically works to control basic emotions, but responds very well to fear. In traumatic experiences, it pairs with the hippocampus (the memory center of the brain) to store vivid and occasionally sensory memories.

When a memory trigger is provoked and brought back into consciousness, it actually changes slightly depending on the context of which it recalled. Those memories are changed to fit how we make sense of them. So if he feels guilty for his brothers death, then his memories will reflect it whether or not it’s actually true.

Essentially, him having his brothers showing up all the time (looking the way they do) is really bad for him on multiple levels, and not just because they’re triggering visually. They’re like actually impeding his ability to recover by keeping him in an aggressive form of already intense fight or flight that comes from trauma.

On a happier note, one of the best ways to improve is to establish and nurture caring relationships. Awww

Aight ima stop here so I don’t bore you to death with random psych facts, but like kudos to you my dude because I could go on forever about some of the stuff in there

Uh yeah

-writing anon 🤡

WRITING ANON? SLAPPING OUT ANALYSISSISIS AND SHIT?

Bein real I dont do much research on shit even tho I should. I just go off what I’ve seen/ learned throughout the years. It’s always good to hear I’m doin ahit right tho!

Lowkey right with the shock tho. Or high key lol. Seeking pain there’s other ways people do it but mmm somehow this seemed the tamest way. Oh writing anon u silly lil saltine cracker

[thatdude01181]

The singer part 2 Thanksgiving-JO

The plane landed at Orlando international airport at 4 am, Y/n and Jenna, hand in hand, walked through security, grabbed their bags from baggage claim and made it to the entrance as they saw Y/n's mom Cassandra waiting for them.

"My boy" she said as she pulled him into a hug, which was strong for her height of 5'4. He hugged her back picking her up off the ground.

"Hey momma" he said

Jenna smiled and watched as the two in front of her made small talk before taking notice of her.

"Oh I'm sorry, mom this is Jenna my girlfriend, sweet heart this is my mom Cassandra, but you can call her mom, everyone does."

"Hi it's nice to meet you" she said

"You too sweetie, now come on, we've got a long drive a head of us" she said as Y/n and Jenna carried their bags to Cassandras van. The ride took a few hours, but Jenna enjoyed watching the sun rise.

Pulling into the driveway, Y/n jumped out of the van, jostling the van enough to wake Jenna up.

"Sorry darlin'" he said as she stood and exited the van. The house that stood in front of them was a large 5 bedroom 4 bath, with enough land to have cattle and for several kids to play on.

"It's fine babe" she said as he grabbed their bags.

"Ryan we're home" Cassandra said as she opened the door. Said person came down stairs and pull Y/n into a hug.

"Hey baby brother" said the man now attempting to noogie Y/n, who was successful in fighting him off.

"Jenna this is my oldest brother Ryan, Ryan this is Jenna" he said as Jenna shook his hand.

" it's nice to meet you" she said.

"Likewise, Y/n tells us youre this famous actress" he says as they walk into the emasculate living room.

"Yeah, I'm in Netflix's Wednesday, the baby sitter killer queen, and I'm in scream 5 and 6" she said as his eyes widened.

Just then the door opened and in walked a small girl around Cassandras height with three dogs.

"Is he here yet" came the voice of the girl

"I don't know, why don't you come find out" Ryan called.

Around the corner came a woman who was the spitting image of her mother, but with longer hair. She immediately hugged Y/n.

"Hey big bro" she said

"Hey little sis, Jenna this is my sister Sarah, sis this is Jenna".

"I'm a huge fan, I loved you in scream 6" she said fan girling.

"Awwe thank you"

Later that night...

Y/n hopped out of his dad's truck that Cassandra gave him the keys to as he ran around to open Jenna's door.

"Such a gentle man" she said as she took his outstretched hand and stepped down to the ground below.

He looped his arm and she took it, wrapping her arm around it.

(she wore what she's wearing in the cover image you wore an all black outfit with matching cowboy hat)

"What is this place?" Jenna asked,being raised in Coachella Jenna didn't really experience community get together a as a kid.

"Its the rec hall, every weekend the town comes together and just celebrates life and family, and with tomorrow bein' Thanksgiving, we celebrate tonight by dancin' and bein with friends and family, so we can stuff ourselves silly the next day."

They walked ina and the place was popping off, there was music, drinks, and people were dancing. At one point good time by Alan Jackson came on.

(play good time, by Alan Jackson)

Y/n pulled Jenna towards the dance floor and taught her how to line dance, which was a challenge to be sure, but he pulled it off. She was dancing along with him, matching the beat.

The song ended and Jenna was smiling, a true smile, something Y/n hadn't seen since they started dating maybe this vacation was just what she needed.

As the other inhabitants danced they sat at a near by table and held each other close. She looked into his eyes. He was truly happy, whether it was that he was home or that he was with her she couldn't say, but she knows that he makes her happy.

As she was about to say something a girl in a rather short skirt with boots on walks towards them.

"Hi Y/n" she says

"Hi Candice" he says looking uncomfortable

She began talking to him, completely ignoring the fact that Jenna was there. Jenna put up with her as long as she could until she touched Y/n his arm.

This sent Jenna over the edge.

"Alright, that's enough, can't you see that he's uncomfortable" she said stepping in between Y/n and Candice.

"And who the hell do you think you are?" Candice asked.

"I'm his girlfriend" she said as Y/n stepped in between them.

"Yeah right, like he would date a stick like you" this enraged Y/n.

"Candice that's enough, I was fine with you talking to me, but you've obviously upset my girlfriend, so I'm gonna have to ask you to leave"

"Y/n, you can't be serious, as a fuckin heart attack, now get out" he said as security escorted her out.

He looked to Jenna as he knew she was angry. He walked up to her, placing his hand on her neck.

"You know that I love you right?" He said in his deep Southern accent as she nodded.

"I just can't with people like that, she could clearly tell that you are with me, holding my hand, and she still did that"

He pulled her closer as one of the employees came to check on them.

"Everything alright over here Mr.L/n" he asked

"Yeah Chuck we're good, could you set up the mic and two chairs with my guitar I'm about to go on stage with this pretty little thing here." He said gaining the attention on the shorter girl in his grasp.

"Can do" he said running back stage.

After about half an hour he and Jenna had both taken the stage and the crowd cheered. He grabbed his guitar and played a few chords as Jenna sat next to him, with him staring at her.

"This song is dedicated to someone very important to me"

(play in case you didn't know by Brett Young)

Jenna had began to tear up at the thought that you were singing for her, the crowd had began to slow dance as the song began, Jenna smiled swaying to the song as small tears streamed down her face.

After the song ended, she pulled him into a deep passionate kiss, letting him know just how much she loved him. They spent a bit more time at the rec center before they decided to head back to his mom's house.

The next day he woke early to help his mom with things, tending to the cattle, collecting eggs other things to do around the farm. Jenna woke to the smell of bacon eggs and sausage. She walked down to the kitchen to see Y/n walking in after completing the mornings work, seeing her he smiled and enveloped her in a hug, planting a kiss on her lips.

"Mornin' darlin'" he said

"Morning, what's for breakfast?"

"Oh, Y/n said that you were pescatarian, so I just made you eggs" Cassandra said "if you would like, I'm making bacon and there's sausage links on the plate over there.

She looked at the sausage links on the plate and took some, deciding to sacrifice her pescatarian life style.

"Do you have any toast?" She asked.

"In the toaster sweetie" Cassandra said

Jenna took some toast and began eating. She savored the flavor of each part of the meal.

The living room TV was playing the parade, it was a tradition that his dad started when he was young, every year they would start cooking food while the parade played on the TV.

"Is there anything I can help with Cassandra?" She asked

"Get me the hand mixer please" she said pointing to the device on the counter. Grabbing it, Jenna handed it to Cassandra and began helping cook thanksgiving dinner as Sarah walked in.

The door opened to reveal an elderly couple, Jenna stared confused until Y/n walked up to them and hugged them.

"Oh goodness is that my Y/n" the woman said

"Hi Mema, where's pop" he asked

"He's getting my gizzard stuffing and gravy out of the truck" she said patting him on the shoulder. She headed into the kitchen and started helping until she noticed Jenna.

"Hi I don't believe we've met yet, I'm Jodie, Y/n's grandma, you must be Jenna." She said to which Jenna nodded and went to shake her hand, to which Jodie pulled her into a hug.

"Sorry I'm a hugger, and you can call me Mema" she said releasing the girl. Y/n walked in with an elderly man, treys in hand.

"I told you I got it son" he said.

"And I told you that mom nor Mema would let me live if I didn't help." He looked at Jenna a smile spread across her face "I see you've already met Mema, she's a hugger"

"So I've seen" she replied as man known as pop walked past.

"Scott go introduce yourself to your grandsons girlfriend" Mema said as pop did as he was told.

"I'm Scott but you can call me Pop" he looked as Y/n "she's a keeper."

They sat around the the table, Pop sitting at the head of the table as he said grace. Food began to be passed around and conversations were had.

After dinner Pop sat in the lazy boy snoozing as the Thanksgiving day football game played. Sarah's husband and her kids arrived and were in the back yard playing football with Y/n and Ryan. Jenna was in the kitchen with Mema and Cassandra washing dishes and putting left over food away.

"So Jenna, what do you guys have planned after Thanksgiving?" Mema asked.

"Y/n and I are staying for a few more days, I was hoping to find something for Y/n tomorrow, if that's ok" Jenna replied.

"Well that sounds just fine" Cassandra said.

[dumbdollii]

SOON AS I GET HOME

pairing ! ━━ plug!dabi todoroki  x  sneaky!link! black!reader

cw ! ━━ minors do not interact. reader is black and thick coded, getting high w/ dabi, high!dabi slutting you out on the couch, pet names, mentions of nudity, dabi taking pics of u slumped out :((, breeding, sharing smoke by kissing with plug!dabi, fingering with his dick still inside, teasing.

note ! ━━ axe had me snickering Abt this au n now I'ma write abt it bc God knows how much she loves her lil burnt man.

"dabi, I'ma need to get put on with sum'. Its rough out here and you're my only hope." You said over the phone, heavy silence filled the phone, dabi laughing quietly. "You really are somethin', princess. 'ight, I'll give you somethin' good. Just wait outside your door, I'ma be out there in a lil while." He scoffed out, hanging up the phone as soon as you were gonna respond to him. 11:25 PM, that was the time you left the house and waited outside with nothing but some shorts, a sleeve shirt, and your bonnet. As the cold, silky wind hit your legs, look who dropped in, Dabi. He drove up to your block, already smoking a blunt with the shiny, tinted windows down.

"finally! Your ass took too fucking long..I'm freezing out here." Your tone sounded annoyed, considering dabi had you stand outside for a whole hard minute. "Relax princess, be happy I came just in time to see your pretty ass," He said as he parked the car and came out. Givin' your ass a slight slap, you jumped up a bit in pain and slapped his hand. "Harsh, but ight'." "nigga please don't start, what's harsh is that hairline of yours." You said as you laughed out loudly, he wasn't having it and scoffed. "Yea, right."

You walked to the front door and opened it, swiftly moving your body to the couch. With you bein' all bothered you started sighing and held your hand out, looking up at him with curious eyes. "Oh. My apologies. here you go, doll." "Thank you, roki." He throws you the bag, opening it and rolling up a blunt. His eyes widened at The nickname, surprised you'd even use his last name as a silly nickname for him. A few moments passed and you were already all up on Dabi, laying on his big, muscular frame.

Both of you were both heavily high and everything was like euphoria all over again. "I wanna try something new, roki." You whined in his ear. "Oh yea? Like what, rubbing your pussy all over me or what." "No, what? I-" he stopped you from speaking. "Actually, don't even tell me. I wanna try somethin' new with you," While he still was smoking the fuck out the blunt he had in his hand he kept the smoke in, kissing you in the process and letting it out into your mouth. Your body stiffened and the strong smoke rested in your mouth, kiss after kiss it was sloppy. The smoke came out through your nose with a stern huff. "fu..roki...~" You said, moaning out to him. "Damn princess, your moans are just as cute in real life then on the phone." And that's when he pulled away. Your body was so blissed out from the kiss, feeling a wet pool in your panties.

you really were never fond of dabi todoroki. He was always teasing you as a kid, and to see how much he changed, how much he longed to want you ; really did shock you back into reality. "Was that even...did you just put that in my- oh my god." He laughed in response. "What? Too shocked about what the hell I did to you? Don't worry, I know you wanted it Y/n. Let me slut that pretty pussy out, promise I'll make it your while, doll."

"you? Make my while? How bold of you Dabi Todoroki. I wouldn't hear your brother sayin' this shit at all. I'm surprised twice didn't come pop a damn cap in ya' ass." You said with annoyance. "Ohh, you wanna be funny, huh? Yea. I'ma make you moan then you gon' stop laughing." Obviously you didn't take that seriously, but knowing him it would be impossible to turn down an offer like this. "Soon as I get home you gon' miss my dick thrusting into you." You gulped. "Uhuh...yea."

Not even a moment after that happened you wouldn't expect yourself to be underneath him, being so submissive for him and moaning. Your tits bouncing back and forth while he slut you out on the same very couch you guys sat on. His fingers were still inside you from fingering you a while ago, thrusting harder into your tight cunt. "Goddamn, this pussy all mine, got that? All fucking mine. Sooner or later you'll learn to take my size every time I come to visit." Groans and huffs were heard from dabi, his body was shaking slightly while he fucked into you. He grabbed you thighs, throwing them over his shoulder and kissed your inner thighs with ease as you squirmed and huffed.

"Pl-please..ah!..I fucking h..hate you..~" "Hate me? Nah baby, you fuckin' love me. Don't be so stubborn when you're the one clamping around my dick like a bitch outta heat." His tone darkened. Nothing made him more horny then to see your pretty body on his, oh how he longed to touch you. You were just so...beautiful, how could he not resist making you have sex with him just this once? "Heh..~ look at you, drooling all over yourself and cryin' like a baby. Want me to take my fingers out, my lil' baby? Don't wanna squirt all over me?" Humiliation. The way he made you feel embarrassed only turned you on in the slightest second.

he pulled his phone out, knowing you were about to reach your climax soon. "Augh~! Shit...! Can-t, 'm gonna cum!". He felt your pussy flutter around his dick. Letting out a stern moan with it, he also felt himself coming to a halt. "Fuck..Y/n..shi...c'mon! cum on this dick, tryna feel your pussy all on me." You whimpered in response, now you know not to bet this nigga on anything.

You finally came, and so did he, but inside you. While trying to focus on your breathing he took his fingers out, and took his dick out too. Cum seeped through your needy hole, and that's when he took a picture of it. Taking videos and pictures of him teasing your pussy while you were blissed out, rubbing your clit while recording just to see his cum flow out. "Shit, honestly you did good. 'hope you alright though. Maybe this should be a daily thing." You finally had the strength to get up and dabi was already getting ready to clean you up. "Daily thing? Whew boy..you got something coming if u think this is gonna be something daily. I'ma miss you coming over though." You said as a stifled laugh left your throat and he rolled his eyes, ignoring you. "Yea, I'ma miss you too, princess.

all works ©NEKOWEB. Do not Plagiarize , redistribute , or post my work as your own, that will get an instant block.

[judeswhore]

in the back of his car and he’s got u in his lap while he’s kissing u silly but u need more bc even tho he’s got his hands on u it’s not enough. he’s teasing u abt ur brother finding out or ur family, going on abt “what wld they think if they heard u begging me like that” and u hate him just a little for it. is asking if ur so desperate for him bc ur ex wasn’t good enough and he’s like “y’just need a good fuck, yeah? that’s what u want isnt it?” and ur nodding and rocking against him bc u need him so bad ur literally abt to cry. but then he stops and his whole demeanour wld change and ur abt to go insane if he brushes u off again but he just goes “i’m not fucking u” and he sees ur face drop bc he’s worked u up to much to give u nothing?? but he’s so quick to quiet u telling u “i’m not gna fuck u for the first time in the back of my car. u know ur more important to me than that” and u don’t really know what to do w that information so ur a little awkward and quiet for a few minutes but ur both obviously worked up and u need to release that tension. u know it’s a terrible idea to invite him back inside, ur brother is literally next door but ur telling him you’ll just have to be extra quiet and then sneak out in the morning. he’d fuck u so good (you’d both be kinda terrible at staying quiet) wld have his hand over ur mouth or his lips on urs to try and keep u quiet, is going on and on abt how long he’s wanted this and how perfect u are. like all the cockiness is gone and he’s just so obsessed with the fact he’s finally getting to fuck u

😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

omg yes and like bc it's the first time he wants it to be good and take his time so he's just trusting into u at a slow pace and takin his time, kissing your body nd stuff, meanwhile ur so worked up from everythin tht happened in the car and now in ur bed and ur being whiny and he's telling you to be quiet and telling you abt ur brother bein next door nd how he can't find out

And then at one point he starts trusting a lil harder and faster and you let out a filthy moan and judes so quick to kiss you to shut up "gotta be quiet, y'want me to stop?" and ur shakin ur head so hard nd so he keeps going nd there's tears rolling down ur face bc it just feels so good nd ur telling jude how good it feels and 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

ur begging him for more bc it’s just not enough and he’s smirking and so smug when he’s teasing u abt being so desperate. starts fucking u really hard and he’s got his hand over ur mouth, eyes locked on urs and it’s so hot u can already feel that u abt to cum and he’s so cocky bc he can feel ur legs shaking around him. and he’s all “if u don’t shut up i’ll have to gag u” or “if u don’t be quiet i won’t let u cum, that’s not what u want is it? so stop whining and be a good girl” and ur going insane over how vocal he is through it all. even better if u accidentally sleep in the next morning and ur woken up by ur brother knocking at the door so u have to hide jude under the bed or in the wardrobe and when u let ur brother in he’s glaring at u bc he heard everything and he’s telling u how disgusting it is and that if ur gna do it in the house do it when he’s not there. but ur so relieved that he thinks it’s a random person and doesn’t know it’s jude. so when he’s gone jude’s coming out of his hiding place and he’s grinning at u bc u got away w it and ur whisper yelling at him bc u nearly got caught but he’d just pull u in for a kiss and be all “wld’ve been worth it”

[starsandauras]

Entry 13: Butte

FFXIV 30 Day Writing Challenge Prompt 13: Butte Welcome to the first Dawntrail fic! As such, the whole thing is going to be under the cut! Do not read if you haven't reached zone 4! Hell, wait until zone 5 to be safe.

Erenville set his chin upon his fist as he considered his options. “If we’re to retrieve the bracelet without conflict, it won’t be done barging in the front door.” He turned, looking out over the desert. “We’ll have to lure him out.”

“Aye, ‘tis makin’ sense,” Brigid responded, and there was an odd rustle of fabric that made one of Erenville’s ears twitch. He turned, already having a very bad feeling about that sound.

Brigid was looking down at her hands, which were unlacing the top of her bodice, exposing a generous expanse of cleavage. She was even humming, tilting her head to the side, as though evaluating her state of undress.

Erenville sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Put your clothes back on,” he said flatly, already far too used to the woman’s antics. She looked up at him, her humming ended, and she tilted her head in the other direction, brow furrowed.

“You were sayin’ we were needin’ to lure him out,” she pointed out, brushing her hands over her clothes, sweeping away wrinkles. “Oh, but maybe he’s nay likin’ lasses…”

“You’re a married woman,” he retorted, hand dropping, and Brigid huffed at him, crossing her arms, thankfully over her chest, not under it.

“And where was I sayin’ I was goin’ to be sleepin’ with the lad? Honestly, Erenville, are you thinkin’ so lowly of me?” She brushed her fingers through her hair, adjusting the rose she wore in it. “Just goin’ to be seducin’ him and pickin’ his pocket, like a good wee rogue.” She frowned and looked down at her skirt. “Now how were the workin’ lasses back in town wearin’ this…” she murmured to herself.

He couldn’t believe he was having this conversation with a married woman in her thirties. Wasn’t she actually a little older than him? “Brigid…”

Finally she sighed and turned to him properly, perching her hands on her hips. “Oh? And ‘tis bein’ your plan then?”

“In order to lure him out,” he repeated, trying to reign in his exasperation, “we’ll avail ourselves of yeheheceyaa — dragon-like creatures that live to the south of here. It’s their breeding season, you see—”

“What.”

“—and the males will flock to the scent of a female in heat.”

“What.”

“With a few ingredients, and a sample of their feces—”

“Alreet, nay, nay bein’ the plan!” Brigid firmly interrupted. “I’m nay collectin’ that for you.” She walked closer to him, arms crossed again. “I’m nay usin’ this word often lad, so be listenin’. Your plan? Is stupid. Nay just daft, but stupid.”

“Excuse me?” he nearly growled.

“We’re doin’ me plan, as nay only is it bein’ simpler, so less risk of things goin’ wrong, ‘tisnae involvin’ shite!”

And with that, Brigid turned and marched down the hill, adjusting her skirt as she went. And with that, Erenville began to regret that he didn’t ask one of her brothers to come on this trip instead.

(Lucky for Erenville, this is just silly nonsense.)