#brother i am convinced i was not built to be alive

[dogbunni]

.

[anyydidi]

WRITING THIS POST BECAUSE I'M SO SICK OF PEOPLE MISCHARACTERIZING FORD!!!!!!!!!

Before we begin, everyone is entitled to their opinion. If you really think Ford wouldn't truly care, you do you.

That being said, I feel like people who claim that Ford wouldn't do a single thing to bring Stan back if their places were switched do not understand his character at all.

Don't get me wrong, I don't think that he would open the portal. At least not right away. The one thing I agree with is that Ford wouldn't put the life of his brother above the whole planet like Stan did. He realizes the threat of the portal and Bill too much to do that.

But have people forgotten that Ford also loves his brother? Yeah, he was angry, bitter and resentful, but he wouldn't have just let Stan die in the multiverse. Especially since that would be entirely his fault he got stuck there in the first place.

For people thinking, "But Ford was too blinded by rage! He didn't care for Stan until after Weirdmaggedon!", have you seen the show? Have you read the journal? Through everything that happened, Ford kept a photo (tattered and worn, obviously taken out a lot) of him and his brother in his left, inner breast pocket which is the one closest to the heart. If that wasn't enough, for those who haven't read the journal, Ford kept reminiscing about and mentioning his brother before the portal incident. Even though those lines were often crossed out, it was obvious that at least unconsiously he had Stan in mind a lot. And at the end of the journal, it is written that he worked day and night, to the point of passing out, to bring Stan's memories (and essencially Stan himself) back. (Oh and have we forgotten about the absolutely shattered expression he had when he erased Stan's memories? You don't look like that for a person you don't deeply care about).

Still not enough to believe that Ford cared about Stan before Stan's sacrifice?

Let's talk about the fact that when Ford was at his lowest, that being paranoid, sleep deprived, tortured by Bill, drowned in guilt, and completely alone, he reached out to Stan? He says it himself, "I needed help, someone I could trust." After everything, he still trusted Stan to an extent and believed him to be his last hope. You don't give trust like that to people you truly hate.

Ford was self-absorbed and egocentric, but also hurt and betrayed. That feeling came from a misconception, but that doesn't make it any less valid. It is understandable that he acted towards Stan the way he did, with venom and bitterness. But we can be angry at people we love and still care for their well-being.

How I said earlier, I don't think Ford would really open the portal. He wouldn't risk the entire world for Stanley. But I do think he would do anything in his power to be able to bring Stan back safely. You cannot be telling me that he'd be able to live with the guilt and not do anything about it if he could. After all, in his head, it would be his fault. He got tricked by Bill, he built the portal, he made Stan come to him and showed him the portal and he wasn't able to let go of the journal and fought Stan for it. I'm convinced he'd still throw some blame at Stan for some of the fight to make himself feel better at first, but after some time he would just blame himself completely (the same way I think Stan did with the science fair incident). The guilt for all of that would eat him alive.

Let's not forget, Stanley worked for 30 years, basically half his life to bring Stanford home and I believe Ford would be willing to do the same. He would just go about it differently. He would either try to get rid of the threat of Bill and then be willing to upgrade the portal and turn it on again, or maybe try to find a completely different way to get Stan back from the multiverse, or in the end something entirely different, I'm not fully sure.

What I am sure of is that Ford wouldn't just let Stan be stranded in the multiverse without doing absolutely nothing. Maybe he wouldn't succeed, maybe Stan would actually have to find his own way back home because Stanford wouldn't be able to find a solution without risking their entire universe. But Ford would at least try, give it his all, because despite everything, he still loves his brother. Differently than Stan loves him, because Ford is a different person than Stan, but he still does.

So I beg you, people. Stop taking Ford's complex character from him. He can be a selfish, self-centered asshole, but he's not heartless.

[tiredandoptimistic]

I am forever haunted by Nate and Tessa's fucked up and terrible sibling dynamic. Maybe it's just because I related to Tessa too hard when I was twelve and heard "this is her older sibling who's the coolest person in the world and reuniting with him is her number one priority" and went "yup, makes sense!" but his betrayal is genuinely one of the defining aspects of TID to me.

Sibling relationships are such an underexplored way to fuck somebody up in fiction, in my opinion. Nate has been the one constant in Tessa's life, and no matter how aware she was of his flaws that could never overrule the fact that he's her person. She trusts him on a fundamental level that she just can't experience with anyone else, and part of it is because of how fleeting all her other relationships have been, but a lot of it is just the fact that he's her brother and she's loved him for as long as she's been alive. More than that, she idolizes him. Her entire life crumbles around her when Aunt Harriet dies and she ends up held hostage by the Dark Sisters, but Nate is still there and perfect in her mind. He's her anchor when everything else goes insane; if she can just find her brother then things will be okay again. She's more able to handle her world being shattered by learning about the supernatural because all that magic shit is secondary to the fact that she needs to save Nate.

And then of course she does save him and he turns around to betray her. And again, it hits harder than any other betrayal possibly could because he's more important to her than anyone else could possibly be. By this point she's built up bonds with Will and Jem and the other people at the Institute, and eventually they all become woven into her being, but not when she's sixteen and has known them for a week.

Looking at it from Nate's perspective, the thing that's always fucks me up is the way he tries to convince himself that he sees Tessa as a monster. He's genuinely just a shitty enough person that he set his sister up to be a child bride for a mass murderer because of the payout, but he can't handle thinking of it that way so he clings to this idea that Tessa isn't really his sister, isn't really human. And while yes, that's biologically true (they're not even technically related to each other), it doesn't change the fact that they're siblings in every way that matters. She'll always be his little Tessie, even if he doesn't want to admit it, doesn't want to let himself be the villain in this situation. He does the same thing with Harriet, arguing that she deserved to die because of all her lies because otherwise he would need to admit that he killed his mother out of pure selfishness.

Nate isn't the most evil guy in the world, but he is greedy and allergic to principles. It's so much worse than if he never loved Tessa, because he does love her till the very end and that love just isn't enough to override the allure of wealth and power. That's always the most painful type of relationship to me; the one where a person has just enough good to make it impossible to unequivicobly hate them.

Maybe Will could just write Nate off as a terrible person, but Tessa will always know every detail of his best and kindest moments. I have to believe that he haunts Tessa for the rest of her immortal existence, this knowledge that the person who made her life worth living for the first sixteen years was the one to sell her out. All the pain in the world isn't enough to erase that bond; she'll always have to live with the memory of him dying in her arms, the knowledge that his goodness and love was just as genuine as his duplicity.

Yeah this ended up being a lot longer than I intended, I just have a lot of feelings about the Gray siblings. Nate wasn't a part of the world where Tessa eventually found a home, she'll never have anyone else who understands the knot of emotions surrounding him. She can get sympathy but never empathy. Yes the rest of the TID crew are aware of him, but they barely met him and she outlived all of them too. Nate's so lost in her past, I bet that most people don't even realize that she used to have a brother, that she grew up as a sister, as half of a set. She carries the Gray name forward through her immortal life, and nobody else knows about the family that used to share it. She's still got Jem and Magnus who have been her friends since she was a teenager, who keep the memory of Will and the others alive; but no one else was there for her childhood.

I'm not quite sure how to end this, I'm just feeling emotions about Tessa Gray on this fine Tuesday and felt like sharing them.

[glassartpeasants]

One Piece Asylum AU idea

things are subject to change but here is a little short

~~~~

Characters include: Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Law, Kidd, and Killer

GN!Reader for the moment

Warnings: drug use, mentioned death, murder/manslaughter, hallucinations, mental illness's, abuse, medical malpractice, slight gore, depression, made at work, kinda spoilers for Law's and Sanji's backgrounds, i tried my best to incorporate some things from each backstory into this so-,I AM NOT A MENTAL HEALTH PROFESSIONAL SO I DO NOT KNOW IF THESE COULD BE ACCURATE

~~~~

“Patient's name is Monkey D. Luffy. He was brought here by his grandfather after he failed to thrive following the death of his older brother.” Handing you the clipboard, the head psychiatrist looks at you before continuing. “He’s convinced himself he’s a pirate and trying to become ‘King of the Pirates’ with his ‘nakama.’ We believe it’s a coping mechanism and trauma response to witnessing his brother's murder.”

Looking through the pages, you read the test and charts. Upon seeing a particular line, you raise a brow. “Believes he’s made of rubber?”

“Ah, yes. It’s part of the world he’s built in his head. He thinks that things will bounce off him and that he can’t get hurt if he falls from heights. It’s caused multiple bruises and broken bones. One includes the broken femur he just recovered from. He’s a high fall risk due to these delusions.”

“That’s so sad. Creating a whole world just to escape the grief. I can’t imagine the pain of watching a loved one die in such a horrific manner.”

“Surprisingly, this pirate world is common in this hospital. Don’t know if it’s Luffy’s influence or if it’s a common escape method that hasn’t been fully researched yet. But it is a very regular delusion in here.”

“There’s more…pirates?”

“Yes. Three crews, to be exact. At least for now. Luffy’s charmed his way into a few other patients' minds and convinced them to ‘join his crew.’”

“Really? Who are they?”

“There's a lot. Are you sure you want to hear them? It can get pretty disturbing and slightly gut-wrenching. New World Asylum isn’t known for the mild cases.”

A sense of unease fills the pit of your stomach, but the curiosity is too much to endure. “I’m sure.” Nodding, the head psychiatrist leads you to a big hallway. The doors are thick metal with name plates on each surface. As you approached the dark, eerie hallway, it felt like a horror movie.

The head psychiatrist hands you a pen and a small notepad. “Take notes, rookie. If you want to survive, I suggest writing down as many notes as possible.”

“After Luffy, we have Rorona Zoro. Brought here by police after a welfare check discovered he was living with the decaying body of his lover after he accidentally killed them.”

“What? Why is he here instead of prison?” You question, looking at the psychiatrist with furrowed brows.

“It was an accident. He used to collect swords and practice swordsmanship, which had him collecting a total of 3 swords. One of them accidentally killed his lover when they sneaked up behind him when he was drunk, spooking him. He killed them instantly, thankfully, slicing them in half. In his despair, he kept the body with him for two weeks. His boss was the one to call the cops to check up on them since he hadn’t left the apartment or contacted anyone in the said two weeks.”

“That's so sad, but…that still doesn’t explain why he isn’t in prison?”

“After the death, he continued to speak to them like they were alive, and when the cops tried to separate him from the body, he flipped his shit. It turned into a standoff that lasted about four hours before they finally managed to take him down. Often gets aggressive and has violent outbursts when he has moments of ‘clarity’ and ‘can’t find them.’”

“Oh…”

“He’s part of Luffy’s ‘Straw Hat Pirates.’ From our observed behaviors, he seems to be the second in command. He now claims to be striving to be the best swordsman for his deceased lover.” Writing down the minor notes that you could, you continue to follow.

“Next up, Vinsmoke Sanji. After suffering years of abuse that he refuses to speak about, he attacked them ruthlessly. The only one surviving of the massacre was his older sister, who he deems ‘free of retribution.’ They counted him unfit to stand trial and sent him here. According to Luffy, he’s the cook for his crew. As far as we know, he’s never stepped foot in the facilities kitchen.”

Remaining speechless, you follow and try to calm down how your mind seems to run at a million miles per minute. How many people did this place have that believed they were pirates? Was this all Luffy’s doing? Influencing people into believing his world?

“Trafalgar Water D. Law. A raging wildfire took out his entire town overnight when he slept as a child. He has it in his mind that the government did it to hide the fact they were experimenting on them. A man adopted him only to witness his murder after his adoptive father got into an argument with a family member.” Your heart burned as you listen to the recounting of his story. Losing your whole world overnight twice sounded like hell.

“The next thirteen years seemed to go by quickly and relatively calmly. He’d gotten his medical degree to be a surgeon. He was known far and wide as a great doctor. It wasn’t until people began to find out that he'd been secretly experimenting on people. Trying to find a cure for an unknown disease that he claims killed his family.”

“The one that he blamed on the government?” You raised your brow, trying to comprehend what could possibly be going on in the man’s mind.

“Yes. It also came to light that his partner, who was constantly sick, was being poisoned by him. He always fed them a small amount of some drug, so they were too weak to do anything other than depend on him. Just so they couldn’t leave him. And just like almost everyone else, they concluded that he's not in the right mind to stand trial and sent him here.”

Walking past Law’s door, a sense of despair hits you, making goosebumps rise on your skin. You could hear him talking to himself, but what he’s saying was unintelligible. “He talks to his deceased sister a lot. Blames himself for not waking up his family in time to save them from the fire or warn them about the ‘sickness’ they had. When talking to him, don't be spooked if he starts asking you about your upcoming ‘surgery.’ He’s restrained in a jacket like Zoro."

"He’s another victim of Luffy’s influence, as he also now believes he’s part of a pirate group. But this one, he’s the captain of. He calls them the Heart Pirates. Another thing he discusses frequently is Corazon. We have yet to figure out who or what that is.”

“I’ll…keep that in mind.” The pen scribbled relentlessly on the paper, seeming never to stop as words repeatedly filled the small, lined paper.

“Good. Next up is Eustass Kidd.” Moving forward, next to the head psychiatrist, you are shown a door made of even thicker metal than the others along the hallway. There were even twice the number of locks on the door compared to the ones you've seen.

“Why are there so many locks?”

“He’s the most aggressive and hostile. It’s gotten to the point of him being unable to leave his cell and being chained to the back wall-”

“Let me out of here, you stupid-” A scream of pain came from behind the heavy metal door, causing you to rush up and slide open the slot in the door to check up on the man behind it.

“Sir?! Are you okay?!” As you opened the small opening, you were met with orange orbs staring right at you. Firey red hair could be seen from what little light was in the room. For a moment, the air seemed cold, quiet, and uncomfortable.

CLANK

Not a second passed before the man in chains jumped to his feet and rushed at you; the chains holding him back and the door separating you two did little to quell the scream that left your throat as you fell back on your butt. 

“He never learns.” The head psychiatrist sighs before you see her push a button on a small remote in her hand, leading to another scream of agony in the room.

“W-What are you?” Wide-eyed, you look at her.

“Shock therapy. It’s part of his treatments.”

“But hasn’t that been proven to be ineffective?” A stone stare was all you got, and it made you want to shrink and crawl into a hole to hide. Why would she use a technique that has proven ineffective? As punishment? There had to be some sort of explanation. There is no way they would use such primitive methods in this modern day. Unnerved, you slowly stand up, your eyes never leaving her hand.

“Moving on.” Quickly rushing forward, she moves to the final door. Not sparing you or the chained man a second glance.

Looking at the tiny slit in the door, you exhale a silent, “I’m sorry…” Swallowing down your saliva, you move to her side once more. What once was a calm introduction now felt wrong. The coldness of her actions shows a dark side that makes you want to run far, far away. What could he have done to get here and be treated like some sort of animal?

“What did he do that caused such treatment?”

“He was in a rock band, but there was an accident at a bar where he must have taken some substances that caused a manic episode. Whether it was knowingly or unknowingly is not charted. However, the episode caused some harsh hallucinations, which resulted in him running into oncoming traffic and getting hit by a car. The aftermath was multiple surgeries and the amputation of his left arm. Once he was awake and saw the damage, he freaked.”

“Freaked? Did they not explain to him what happened?”

“They tried, but from forced brain scans and multiple behavior therapists later, it was revealed that the accident had knocked some screws loose. Putting him in an eternal warped state of mind. A constant state of psychosis in a better term. No amount of medication has helped him. He’s a lost cause. No doubt he’ll be here for the rest of his life.” Frowning, you follow her to the next and last room in the hallway.

“Last but not least, Killer.”

“Killer?” You look at her in confusion. What kind of name is that? Is she pranking you?

“Yes. He was and still is Eustass Kidd’s best friend and the only person who can calm him down when he’s on a violent rampage after somehow escaping his room.”

“How did he get here then? Was he also in the accident?”

“No. He came a month after Eustass was sent to us. After Eustass’s spiral, he spiraled into his own depression after losing his best friend, and he turned to some drugs to soothe the pain. And just like his friend, he caused irreversible damage to himself after going on a drug stupor after his lover broke it off with him cause he was ‘too depressing to be around.’”

“What did he do?...”

Sparing you only a second glance, the head psychiatrist looked to be holding back a chuckle. “He used a sewing needle to stitch his mouth into a smile before going back to his ex’s house and trying to beg for them to take him back, saying he ‘fixed himself. ‘The cops took one look at him and sent him here.” An icky feeling rose in your gut at her reaction. How could she find something so horrific to be funny?

“That's horrible…it’s so disturbing how fragile the human mind is.”

“It is. Oh, something I forgot to mention is that Luffy’s influence hit them, too. Eustass took his words as a challenge and made his own pirate group, including Killer, called the ‘Kidd Pirates.’”

“How original?”

Stopping suddenly, the lady turns to you. “Now that you know them. It’s time for you to get ready.”

“Ready? Ready for what?”

“Ready to meet your new patients, Dr. (Y/N). I’m sure you’ll love it here at New World Asylum.”

[sherewrytes]

𝔹𝕣𝕠𝕜𝕖𝕟 ℙ𝕚𝕖𝕔𝕖𝕤, ℝ𝕪𝕠𝕞𝕖𝕟 𝕊𝕦𝕜𝕦𝕟𝕒 1

↳ Sukuna x f! black reader

Summary: After the death of his grandfather, Sukuna Ryomen is left to shoulder the weight of his family, caring for his younger brothers, Yuuji and Choso. As he withdraws into grief, his relationship with Y/N, his girlfriend of a year, begins to crumble. When Y/N discovers the truth about his grandfather’s passing during a heated argument, it leads to a painful breakup. Now, both are navigating life apart, but Sukuna’s heart aches for Y/N. Determined to win her back, he must confront his pain and find a way to break through the walls he’s built. Can he rekindle their love, or is it too late?

contents: heavy angst, modern au, 18+, smut, dark romance, drug use, talks of depression and similar topics. (a lil )

fic warnings. ooc, profanity, mental health issues, toxic relationships, cheating, explicit smut, serious drug use, mentions of depression + more to be updated as story progresses.

Please read with proper discretion. this is a work of fiction. all characters are written to portray roles that are necessary to the plot and are in no way a reflection of their canon counterparts.

Chapter Playlist:

Chapter 1: Rolling Stone

The blaring of the alarm cuts through the dim haze of the bar like a knife. I squint at the glowing screen, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. My shift is over, but it feels like the world is just beginning again. The sounds of laughter and clinking glasses fade into the background as I gather my things, the weight of another night spent pouring drinks and avoiding questions heavier than the bottles I’ve been slinging.

What the hell am I doing here?

I didn't need this job—my grandfather left a decent savings, more than enough to keep Choso and Yuuji set for college. But I can't touch it. Not yet. The thought of dipping into that fund makes my stomach twist. It's for them.

It’s always been for them.

So, I picked up this stupid job I hate, slinging drinks for people who don’t care about anything but getting wasted.

“Another night, another dollar,” I mutter to myself, a bitter grin creeping onto my face.

The familiar faces of patrons blur as I head to the door, but the fleeting laughter and boisterous conversations wrap around me, a reminder of the normalcy I’m missing. I should be out there, living it up, but instead, I’m trapped in this monotonous cycle of work and regret.

It’s been eighteen months since Jin died, and three weeks since I lost Grandpa. Shouldn’t I be over this by now?

“Just need to keep my head down,” I say aloud, shaking my head. “Keep the money coming. They depend on you, Sukuna.”

I step outside into the night, the cool air hitting my face like a splash of cold water. The streets are alive with the sounds of nightlife, but they feel like a distant echo, a life I no longer belong to. I light a cigarette, inhaling deeply, letting the smoke fill my lungs, trying to drown out the nagging thoughts in my head.

Y/N…

She’s been my anchor since my world turned upside down. I think about the year we’ve spent together, how she’s become the one bright spot in my otherwise dreary existence. But there’s a heaviness between us that I can’t shake. I haven’t been fully present, and I know it.

“I’m trying, dammit,” I whisper, the words almost lost in the rustle of the wind. “But how do I explain this?”

What if I lose her too?

My thoughts spiral. I’ve built walls so high, convinced that keeping her at a distance will spare her from the wreckage I’ve become. But every time I see her smile, it’s like a reminder of everything I’m not—of the light I can’t give her because I’m too busy drowning in my own sorrow.

You’ve done enough of this pity party, Sukuna. Just let her in. She wants to help. You can’t keep pushing her away.

But it’s easier said than done. Every time I think about opening up, about letting her see the raw mess I am, a voice in the back of my head reminds me of the risk. “What if she can’t handle it?”

What if she leaves?

With a heavy heart, I crush the cigarette butt under my boot and head toward my apartment. I can’t let her see how much I’m struggling. I won’t burden her with my pain. But the truth is, I don’t want to be alone anymore. I’m tired of pretending everything is okay when it’s not. I just want to talk to her, to feel that warmth radiating from her, even if it’s just for a moment.

As I approach my front door, I can see the lights flickering inside. Yuuji and Choso are likely glued to some video game, oblivious to the world outside. I shove the door open, the familiar creak echoing in the silence.

“Hey, I’m back,” I call out, forcing a casualness into my voice I don’t feel.

“Finally! We thought you fell in,” Yuuji replies, his voice full of that youthful energy that’s both infectious and exhausting.

“Yeah, as if. Just needed to pay the bills,” I respond, but my heart isn’t in it. I head to the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of water, chugging it down like it’s the last drop of sanity I’ll ever have.

I should call her. Just see how she’s doing. She’s been so patient with me, even when I���ve been a complete jerk.

I pull out my phone, the screen lighting up with her contact name. My finger hovers over the call button, hesitation creeping in.

What if she’s busy? What if she thinks I’m pathetic for calling her now?

“Just do it,” I whisper to myself, the words barely escaping my lips. “You can’t keep hiding.”

With a deep breath, I press the button, and the phone rings. My heart pounds in my chest as I wait, hoping she picks up, praying she won’t judge me for the mess I’ve made of everything.

“C’mon, Y/N. Pick up.”

After a few rings, her voice breaks through, warm and inviting. “Hello?”

“Hey, it’s me,” I say, the tension in my shoulders easing slightly at the sound of her voice.

“What’s up? Is everything okay?” she asks, concern lacing her tone.

“Yeah, just finished work. Thought I’d check in on you,” I reply, keeping it casual, though the truth feels heavier than I can articulate.

“Just hanging out. You sound tired,” she notes, and I can almost picture the way she frowns when she’s worried.

Always so damn perceptive.

“Yeah, long night,” I admit. “How about you? You doing okay?”

“Better now that you called,” she replies, her words wrapping around me like a warm blanket.

I need this. I need her.

“Maybe I’ll come over. I could use some company,” I say, trying to sound casual even though my heart races at the thought.

“I’d like that. Just… come over when you can,” she responds, and I can hear the smile in her voice.

“Okay, I’ll see you soon,” I say, ending the call.

As I toss my phone onto the couch and lean back, I realize how much I’ve needed this connection. For all my reckless decisions and the way I’ve pushed her away, there’s something about her presence that makes the world feel less heavy.

Maybe I can do this. Maybe I can let her in.

I head to the bathroom to shower then to my room to change, scrolling through my phone I scrolled through spotify and played P5hng Me A*wy/Mike Shinoda and Linkin Park. I pulled out an old band tee from Bring me to the horizon and some ripped jeans. In the back of my draw I see some Xanax in a baggie. I pulled it out and popped one then a half I had from sometime before. 

I should really quit this at some point…..but not tonight. 

As I step out from my room into the living room, feeling a renewed sense of clarity, the front door creaks open. Choso strolls in, his expression a mixture of nonchalance and mischief that immediately puts me on high alert.

“Hey, where have you been?” I ask, trying to keep my voice steady, but I can’t mask the irritation creeping in. I left him home with Yuuji, expecting a quiet night, and instead, I get this.

Choso shrugs, the dim light from the hallway casting shadows across his face. That’s when I catch a glimpse of something on his arm—ink, the kind that shouldn’t belong to someone barely eighteen.

For fuck’s sake.

I sigh, the tension in my chest tightening as I stride over to him, my heart pounding with frustration and concern. “What is this?” I snatch his arm, pulling it closer to examine the tattoo. It’s a crude design, something that looks like it was done in a rush, the lines jagged and uneven.

“Where have you been?” I demand, my voice low and sharp. “I left you home with Yuuji. Did you really think sneaking out was a good idea?”

Choso tries to pull his arm back, but I hold firm, scanning his face for any sign of remorse. Instead, I find a mix of defiance and pride that only stokes my anger further.

“Dude, it’s just a tattoo,” he says, a hint of rebellion in his tone. “I wanted to do something cool, you know?”

“Cool? You think getting a tattoo looking like you did it in a back alley is cool?” I hiss, my frustration boiling over. “You could’ve gotten yourself hurt or worse! What the hell were you thinking?”

He rolls his eyes, his teenage bravado coming out in full force. “It’s not a big deal, Sukuna. Everyone gets tattoos. I just wanted to be like you. You’re the one with all the ink.”

I let go of his arm, realizing the weight of my own hypocrisy. But I can’t back down now. “You think I’m some role model? I’ve made plenty of mistakes. This isn’t about me; it’s about you making smart choices! You’re not ready for this—”

“What, you mean you think I can’t handle it?” Choso snaps back, his youthful anger flaring. “I’m not a kid anymore. I can do what I want!”

“Yeah, well, you’re still living under my roof, and I’m still responsible for you,” I remind him, my voice strained but firm. “So until you can pay your own bills, I expect you to follow some rules. This isn’t a game, Choso. Tattoos can have consequences you’re not thinking about.”

Choso crosses his arms, his defiance cooling slightly as he looks away. I soften my tone, fighting the urge to explode. “I just… I don’t want you to end up regretting something like this. It’s not as easy to remove as you think. And if Yuuji knew you left the house, he’d freak.”

Choso’s eyes flicker with guilt for just a moment, but he quickly masks it. “I’m sorry. I just wanted to try something different. I didn’t think it would be a big deal.”

Not a big deal?

I lean against the wall, running a hand through my hair in frustration. “Look, just promise me you’ll think about your choices next time, alright? You’re not just a kid anymore, but you still need to act like one sometimes.”

“Fine. I promise,” he mutters, though I can see the annoyance simmering beneath the surface.

“Good. Now go shower and study and cover that thing up. You don’t need to show that thing off to everyone.” I start to walk back to the couch, but Choso grabs my arm, stopping me.

“Wait.” He looks me in the eye, something earnest in his gaze. “What if you’re not here? What if you get tired of taking care of us and just…leave?”

The question hangs in the air, heavy and charged. I open my mouth to reassure him, but the truth is, I’m terrified of what he just said.

What if I do?

“Listen, Choso,” I start, searching for the right words. “I’m not going anywhere. I lost too much already. You and Yuuji are all I have left.”

“Then stop acting like it doesn’t matter,” he shoots back, and I can’t help but feel the sting of his words.

I swallow hard, staring at him, wishing I had the right answers. “I’m trying, okay? Just… let me figure this out.”

He nods, but I can see he’s not fully convinced. “Alright. Just don’t go disappearing on us, okay?”

With that, he heads off toward the bathroom, leaving me alone with my thoughts once more.

I can’t disappear. I won’t. But what if I keep failing?

With a heavy heart, I plop back down on the couch, staring at my phone. I wonder if I should call Y/N again. Maybe she’d have something to say that would make all of this feel a little less overwhelming.

As I sit there, I can’t shake the feeling that I’m not just fighting for myself anymore. I’m fighting for Choso, for Yuuji, and for Y/N. I need to find a way to hold it all together.

Somehow. I have to.

I plop down on the couch, the weight of the evening still heavy on my shoulders. The faint smell of cigarettes and whiskey clings in the air. 

Jesus, it stinks in here

 Just as he begins to find a moment of peace, Yuuji plops down next to him, grinning as he passes over his lighter and a pack of cigarettes.

“Here,” Yuuji says, his voice light, almost playful.

“Stay outta my shit, man,” I grumbles, though I can’t help but feel a hint of amusement at Yuuji’s carefree demeanor.

Yuuji chuckles, unfazed. “Where’s Y/N? I didn’t see her at Grandpa’s funeral.”

The question hangs in the air, and for a brief moment, I feel the ground shift beneath me. I had meant to tell Y/N about  grandfather's passing—she had been there for me through so much—but the weight of it all had left me feeling paralyzed.

It wasn’t important that she was there…

I shifted uncomfortably, feeling the guilt settle like a stone in my chest. “It wasn’t important that she was there,” I muttered, trying to brush it off.

“But isn’t she important to you?” Yuuji presses, his tone shifting to something more serious.

I fell silent, the question echoing in my mind.

Is she?

I reach for a cigarette, pulling it out with slightly trembling hands before lighting it. The flame flickers in the dim light, illuminating my features for a moment as I inhale deeply.

“Dude,” Choso pipes up from the hallway, his voice laced with annoyance. “You said no smoking in the house.”

I rolled his eyes, exhaling a cloud of smoke toward the ceiling. “Cut me some slack,” I snapped, though I can’t ignore the tiny voice in the back of my mind telling me that I should be setting a better example.

The deep feeling that I’m forgetting something tugs at me, like a whisper just beyond my mental grasp. But then again, if I forgot it, it probably wasn’t important. Right?

Yuuji is staring at me, a knowing look in his eyes, but he doesn’t say anything more. Instead, he leans back against the couch, looking comfortable in the silence that stretches between them.

“Things have been rough, huh?” Yuuji finally says, his voice softer now.

“Yeah,” I replied, flicking ash into a nearby tray. “You could say that.”

Choso saunters back into the living room, arms crossed, eyeing Sukuna. “You really should talk to Y/N, you know? She cares about you, and it’s clear you’re going through something.”

I glared at him, irritation flaring. “I don’t need you two playing therapist. I’m handling my shit.”

Choso raises an eyebrow, unimpressed. “Handling it how? By ignoring everything? By pushing everyone away? Because that’s not working.”

The truth stings, and I shifts in my seat, the tension coiling tighter. “I’m not pushing anyone away,” I shoot back, though I know it sounds hollow.

Yuuji breaks the tension with a laugh. “Yeah, you are. You could at least let her in a little. She might surprise you.”

The idea sits heavy on my chest. 

Could Y/N really surprise him? Could she handle what he’s been dealing with?

What if she can’t?

I take another drag, the nicotine coursing through me like a desperate lifeline. “Whatever, man. Just drop it.”

Choso opens his mouth to argue, but Yuuji nudges him with a chuckle, and they both fall into an easy banter, leaving Sukuna to his own thoughts.

Maybe I should call her...didn’t I call her…can’t fucking remember. 

But the longer I sat there, the more I felt that familiar weight pressing down. The feeling of forgetting something important resurfaces, and I can’t shake it off.

As the night drags on, Sukuna fights the urge to reach for his phone again, knowing that if he does, everything could change. But at the same time, it feels like he’s on the edge of something—something he can’t quite see but knows is there, waiting for him to make the first move.

What the hell am I doing?

I flicks the cigarette butt into the tray, the embers glowing as it lands.

“Hey,” I said, breaking the comfortable silence, my voice rough. “What if I mess everything up? What if I don’t know how to make it right?”

Choso and Yuuji both turn to me, surprised by my admission.

“Then you figure it out,” Yuuji replies, his tone steady. “Just like you’ve always done. Just don’t shut her out.”

Maybe it’s time to stop running and start fighting. For once.

With a deep breath, Sukuna decides it’s time to stop overthinking it. He picks up his phone, staring at the screen, ready to reach out to Y/N.

This is my last chance...but I’m exhausted right now. Fuck!

Yuuji’s POV

Sukuna's exhaustion finally takes over as he sinks deeper into the couch, his body curling into itself. The low hum of the television fills the room, blending with the sound of his steady breathing. He drifts off, lost in the chaos of his mind.

Meanwhile, Yuuji glances at the sleeping figure of his older brother, a frown creeping across his face. Curious and a bit worried, he reaches for Sukuna's phone, its screen illuminated in the dim light. He unlocks it and starts scrolling through the messages, his brow furrowing as he realizes how many texts from Y/N have gone unanswered.

“Dude, look at this,” Yuuji says, wandering over to Choso, who’s leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed and a bored expression on his face. Yuuji holds the phone out for Choso to see, displaying the countless messages from Y/N that Sukuna has ignored for the past month.

Choso glances at the screen, then rolls his eyes. “Mind your own business, Yuuji,” he replies, a hint of annoyance in his voice.

“Seriously, though,” Yuuji presses, a touch of frustration creeping in. “He’s been ignoring her for so long. What’s going on with him?”

Before Choso can respond, Sukuna’s phone starts ringing, the sound piercing through the quiet. Yuuji’s eyes widen, and he instinctively silences the ringer, a mix of concern and curiosity flashing across his face.

“What should we do?” Yuuji asks, looking at Choso for guidance, a bit of desperation in his tone.

Choso shrugs, his expression unreadable. “Mind our own business. It's not our place to interfere.”

Yuuji sighs, glancing back at Sukuna, who remains blissfully unaware of the conversation happening around him. “But I like Y/N. She’s cool and puts up with him,” he points out, gesturing to his older brother, still sleeping on the couch. “She deserves better than this.”

Choso lets out a breath, his frustration shifting to something softer as he considers Yuuji’s words. “Yeah, I get that. But what do you expect us to do? You think we can just barge in and demand he talk to her?”

Yuuji's eyes narrow, determination hardening his features. “Maybe that’s exactly what we should do. He needs a wake-up call. This isn’t just about him anymore. He’s got people who care about him—people who are worried.”

“Like you?” Choso scoffs, but there’s no real bite in his tone. “You think that’s going to make a difference?”

“Maybe,” Yuuji replies, his voice firm. “But if we don’t try, then we’re just letting him push everyone away. We can’t let him go down this path alone.”

Choso hesitates, the weight of Yuuji’s words sinking in. He knows Sukuna is struggling, knows that beneath the bravado lies someone broken and scared.

“Okay, let’s wake him up, then,” Choso finally concedes, pushing himself off the wall. “But if he gets pissed, that’s on you.”

Yuuji nods, determination burning in his eyes. “Yeah, well, it’s better than sitting around doing nothing.”

Together, they approach the couch, the weight of their intentions hanging in the air. Yuuji crouches beside Sukuna, gently shaking his shoulder. “Hey, Sukuna. Wake up, man.”

Sukuna stirs, groaning as he squints against the light. “What the hell?” he mutters, running a hand through his disheveled hair, still half-asleep.

“Time to get up,” Yuuji says, his tone serious now. “We need to talk.”

Sukuna blinks, confusion clouding his eyes as he tries to shake off the remnants of sleep. “Talk about what?” he grumbles, irritation creeping in as he stretches.

“About Y/N,” Choso interjects, crossing his arms again as he leans against the wall.

The mention of her name seems to clear the fog from Sukuna’s mind. “What about her?” he asks, sitting up straighter, instantly alert.

“You’ve been ignoring her, man,” Yuuji says, his voice firm but compassionate. “She deserves better than this.”

Sukuna’s heart sinks, the familiar guilt clawing at his insides. He opens his mouth to protest but finds no words.

“I don’t want to hear excuses,” Yuuji continues, determination etched on his face. “You need to reach out to her. She cares about you, and you’re pushing her away. We can’t just sit here and watch you do this to yourself.”

Sukuna looks between the two of them, the weight of their concern crashing over him.

Maybe I’m not the only one hurting here.

“I… I know,” he finally admits, his voice barely above a whisper.

Choso steps closer, his expression softening. “Then what are you waiting for? Call her. Don’t let this go on any longer.”

Sukuna glances down at his phone, the screen still displaying Y/N’s name. What am I waiting for?

With a deep breath, he picks it up, the decision weighing heavily on his heart. Maybe it’s time to stop hiding and start fighting for the people who matter most.

Sukuna’s POV

I glance down at my phone as it lights up again, Y/N’s name flashing across the screen.

Not again.

I let it ring, barely registering the sound as I mumble to myself, “I’ll talk to her tomorrow.”

But the ringing doesn’t stop. I grit my teeth, a sense of dread bubbling in my stomach. “For fuck's sake,” I mutter, watching it ring again.

Why can’t she just give me a minute?

When the phone vibrates for the third time, I finally snap. “Fuck!” I answer, irritation spilling over as I press the phone to my ear. “What?”

“Where the hell have you been?” she shouts, her voice cracking like a whip through the line, the frustration palpable.

I wince, already regretting picking up. “I’ve been… busy,” I respond, my tone defensive.

“Busy ignoring me?” She scoffs, and I can practically see her rolling her eyes, her frustration radiating through the call.

This is so typical…

I take a deep breath, trying to calm the storm brewing inside. “I’m not doing this right now, Y/N. It’s not a good time.”

“Not a good time? You’ve been dodging my calls for weeks! What the hell is going on with you?”

Weeks… The word hits me hard, the weight of it settling heavily on my chest. I can’t keep running from this.

“Look,” I start, my voice low, “my grandfather is dead.”

Silence falls on the other end, thick and suffocating. I can almost hear the gears turning in her head.

“...When’s the funeral?” she finally asks, her tone shifting from anger to concern.

“It was three weeks ago,” I reply, the admission tasting bitter on my tongue.

“Three weeks?” she whispers, disbelief lacing her words. “And you said nothing?”

“I'm handling it, Y/N!” I bite back, the frustration boiling over. I can feel the anger and grief bubbling up, the remnants of my grandfather’s absence clawing at my throat.

I don’t want to talk about this. Not now.

Her silence feels like a dagger, cutting deeper than any argument we've had before. “This isn’t how you handle things, Sukuna,” she finally says, her voice shaking.

“I’m not doing this dumb shit with you tonight,” I snap, the heat of the moment overwhelming me. “I’m hanging up.”

And with that, I cut the line, the sound of the call ending echoing in the stillness of the room.

What the hell was I thinking?

My heart races as I throw my phone onto the couch, the silence that follows feeling deafening. I bury my head in my hands, fighting against the emotions swirling inside me.

She doesn’t understand. She can’t know what this feels like… The anger, the pain, the constant ache of losing my grandfather and not being able to show it. How could I have told her?

I lean back against the couch, the weight of everything pressing down on me.

Just give me time…

But as I sit in the dim light, the loneliness creeps in. The silence is heavy, and I know I can’t keep pushing her away. I want to reach out, but the fear of exposing my vulnerability paralyzes me.

I close my eyes, wishing for the chaos to settle, for a moment of peace to wash over me. But it doesn’t come.

Tomorrow, I’ll talk to her. I’ll figure this out.

But as the minutes stretch on, I realize the truth—if I keep this up, I might lose her for good.

Ding.

I sigh, my heart sinking as I open my eyes, dreading that it’s another text from her. I reach for my phone, bracing myself for the disappointment, but I feel a wave of relief wash over me when I see the name flashing on the screen. It’s not Y/N.

It’s Toji.

I’m five minutes away and I got pizza and weed.

I throw the phone back onto the couch and turn to Yuuji and Choso, who are in the kitchen, their heads craned toward the door, eyes wide with anticipation.

“Zenin is coming over,” I announce, trying to keep my voice steady.

Yuuji shrugs, a nonchalant expression on his face. “And I don’t give a fuck.”

Choso snickers, and I can’t help but wonder,

Who raised this kid?

“Yuuji,” I say, my tone firm, “you’ve got school tomorrow. Head to bed.”

He rolls his eyes, but I can see the weariness creeping in. “Yeah, yeah, I know.”

I shift my gaze to Choso, who’s been sitting quietly, but I know he’s been feeling the pressure of finals coming up soon. “You need good grades to get into university, too. Go study or some shit.”

He raises an eyebrow, a playful grin tugging at his lips. “I will, but it’s hard to focus with you two around.”

Great, more attitude. “If you can’t handle the distraction, then take your study materials and go somewhere else.”

“Not a chance,” he says, laughing as he grabs a bottle of soda from the fridge. “Besides, I want to see what Zenin brought.”

I shake my head, the corners of my mouth twitching upward despite my efforts to maintain a stern facade. “You two are impossible.”

The door swings open a moment later, and Toji steps inside, a broad grin on his face, pizza boxes stacked high in his arms. “Guess who brought dinner!” he calls out, the aroma wafting through the air and instantly making my stomach growl.

“About damn time!” Yuuji jumps up, rushing over to help him with the boxes, while Choso just stands there, his eyes gleaming with excitement.

I lean back on the couch, watching the chaos unfold. This is a welcome distraction. I can feel the heaviness of the earlier conversation with Y/N slipping away, if only for a moment.

Toji, pulling out a baggie of weed from his pocket and tossing it on the couch next to me. “Let’s get this party started. It’s been a rough week for all of us.”

Yeah, rough doesn’t even begin to cover it.

But I nod, grateful for his presence, even if he’s a walking headache sometimes.

Maybe this is what I need—just a bit of normalcy, a moment to breathe.

I watch as Toji sets down two boxes of pizza on the table, and he turns his gaze to me, studying my face.

“Where’s Y/N?” he asks, his tone casual, but I can hear the underlying concern.

I stay silent, reaching for the weed instead, the familiar ritual of rolling a blunt providing a momentary escape. As I begin to roll, I feel Toji’s eyes on me, a bead of sweat forming at the back of my neck.

“What?” I finally snap, my voice edged with irritation.

Toji sighs, crossing his arms over his chest. “Guess we’re doing this.”

Yuuji, ever the meddler, chimes in with a grin, “Y/N broke up with him.”

I shoot him a glare, my hands stilling. “She didn’t.”

“Sure sounded like you guys were about to,” Choso adds, his voice matter-of-fact, as if I hadn’t just dismissed Yuuji’s comment.

I lean back, rolling my eyes. “So you’re both minding my business now?”

Yuuji shrugs, that infuriating smirk still plastered on his face. “Of course.” He smacks his lips exaggeratedly, just to piss me off even more.

Toji raises an eyebrow, curiosity piqued. “What happened?”

I take a deep breath, the memory of our earlier fight flooding back, sharp and painful. “We got into it,” I say, my voice low. “She called me out for ignoring her, and I... I told her my grandfather died.”

“To be fair,” Toji interjects, “that’s a pretty big deal.”

“I know!” I shoot back, frustration creeping in. “But it was the way she said it. Like it was my fault I hadn’t told her sooner. I just—”

I stop, running a hand through my hair, feeling the weight of it all settle on my shoulders. “I didn’t want her to worry. I thought I could handle it. But I’m just a mess right now.”

“You can’t just shut her out,” Toji says, his voice steady, and I can tell he’s trying to keep me from spiraling. “You need to let her in. She cares about you.”

“Yeah, but does she really? Because it doesn’t feel like it right now,” I mutter, frustration boiling beneath the surface.

Choso exchanges a glance with Yuuji, and I know they’re thinking the same thing. 

You’re fucking this up, Sukuna.

“Look,” Yuuji says, more serious now, “maybe just talk to her. Apologize or something. She might be pissed off, but she’ll listen. She always does.”

“I don’t know if I can face her after that,” I admit, the confession hanging heavy in the air.

Toji slaps my shoulder, pulling me from my thoughts. “You don’t get to hide from this. Just be honest. You’ve got to get your shit together, man.”

I nod, taking a deep breath, the reality of it all sinking in. “Yeah, you’re right.”

The weight of my decisions looms over me, but amidst the chaos and noise of the kitchen, I can feel the glimmer of hope.

Maybe I can fix this… maybe it’s not too late.

I finish rolling the blunt and take a moment, grounding myself. “Alright, enough about me. Let’s eat before it gets cold.”

Yuuji and Choso dive into the pizza boxes, their laughter echoing around me. And for a moment, the laughter drowns out the noise in my head, the worries about Y/N fading to the background as I join them.

My phone rings again, cutting through the brief moment of normalcy. I glance at the screen and see it's Y/N. My stomach drops at the sight. I switch the ringer off again, desperate to avoid this conversation.

Toji, however, doesn’t miss a beat. He watches the phone and answers it. “Hey, what’s up, Y/N?”

I can hear her voice through the speaker, sharp and clear. “Where’s Sukuna?”

Toji shrugs, glancing at me. “He’s around. Is there something you need?”

I feel the air shift in the room as Y/N’s voice crackles through the speaker. “Tell him to come get his shit from my place.”

My heart drops.

She isn’t doing this right now.

 The weight of her words hits me like a punch to the gut.

Toji pauses, clearly surprised. “Are you sure about that?”

“His grandfather died,”

 Y/N responds, her tone unyielding. “And?”

And? 

The anger surges through me, hot and raw. I mouth to Toji to pass me the phone, but he shakes his head, his expression saying it all: 

Don’t. Just let it go.

“Y/N, you know it’s not that simple,” Toji says, his voice steady but laced with caution. “He’s going through a lot right now.”

“Yeah, well, so am I,” she snaps back, frustration dripping from her words. “I can’t keep doing this, Toji. He’s been ignoring me, and I’m done. Just tell him to come get his things.”

I can feel my heart racing, the anger boiling beneath the surface.

She really done with me?

Toji glances at me again, gauging my reaction. “Y/N, I get that you’re upset, but maybe you should talk to him instead of kicking him out. You guys have been together for almost a year.”

“Exactly! Almost a year and I feel like I’m in this alone. I’m tired of waiting around for him to decide he wants to talk to me. I deserve better than this.”

Does she really think I don’t care?

“Okay, but…” Toji starts, but Y/N cuts him off.

“No, Toji. I’m not going to keep making excuses for him. He needs to take responsibility. If he doesn’t want to be with me, then that’s his choice.”

I’m clenching my fists now, the frustration spilling over. I can’t just let this happen.

“Just pass me the phone,” I finally say, my voice low and dangerous.

Toji gives me a hard look but eventually relents, handing me the phone with a reluctant sigh. I can feel the weight of the moment pressing down on me.

“Y/N,” I say, trying to keep my tone even, but it cracks slightly, betraying my anger. “You really want to do this right now?”

“What do you want me to say, Sukuna?” she replies, her voice steady yet tinged with hurt. “You’ve been ignoring me for weeks. You think I’m just going to sit here and pretend everything’s okay?”

“I’m not ignoring you!” I shoot back, frustration bubbling over. “I’m dealing with shit, and I thought you’d understand. My grandfather just died, for fuck’s sake!”

“Then talk to me about it!” she retorts, her voice rising. “I can’t help you if you shut me out. I’m not asking for much; I just want to know you’re okay.”

“I’m handling it, Y/N,” I insist, my words coming out sharper than I intended. “But you don’t get it. You don’t know what it’s like right now.”

“Then make me understand!” she snaps. “Stop pushing me away!”

I can hear the desperation in her voice, and it’s like a knife twisting in my gut.

“Y/N, I…” I start, but the words fail me.

What do I say?

But before I can finish, she sighs deeply, the sound heavy with resignation. “Just come get your stuff. I can’t keep waiting for you to figure this out.”

“Fine,” I reply, my voice quiet. “I’ll be there.”

She doesn’t respond, and the silence stretches between us like an unbridgeable chasm.

“Y/N…”

But it’s too late. She hangs up, leaving me with nothing but the echo of our argument hanging in the air.

Toji and Choso watch me closely, the weight of their scrutiny pressing down. I want to scream, to lash out, but instead, I drop the phone to my side and run a hand through my hair, feeling the tension coil tighter in my chest.

The weight of the argument hangs in the air, thick and suffocating. With a heavy sigh, I pass my car keys to Choso. “Go pick up my stuff.”

He raises an eyebrow, shaking his head. “Nah, bro. You’re doing that on your own. I’m not getting in that mess.”

I scoff, frustration boiling over. “Seriously? You think I want to deal with this shit alone?”

“Yeah, I do,” Choso replies, crossing his arms defiantly. “I don’t want any part of that drama. You can’t just ignore her for weeks and expect her to roll over when you come crawling back.”

“Whatever, man,” I mutter, pushing myself off the couch. I turn to Toji, who’s watching us with a bemused expression. “I’ll be back in an hour.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he says, waving me off. “I’ll keep an eye on these two losers over here.” He messes up Yuuji’s hair, earning a frustrated grunt from the younger guy.

With a heavy heart and a storm brewing in my chest, I head to my car. The engine roars to life, but it does little to drown out the chaos in my mind.

 What the hell am I even going to say to her?

[angstigone]

𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓰𝓸𝓭 𝓲𝓷 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝔀𝓸𝓸𝓭𝓼

𝗛𝗲𝗶𝗮𝗻 𝗘𝗿𝗮! 𝗥𝘆𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻 𝗦𝘂𝗸𝘂𝗻𝗮 𝘅 𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿

(A/N): hello there, lovelies!

dearest besties, I shall take the next week off but till right now here's something to keep you anchored!

(and yeah a sequel is in the works).

as always, comments and reblogs have me writing faster and better!

have a nice day!

SUMMARY: in times of need you found yourself praying to the god in the woods

An idea hit you as you are suddenly reminded of your mother’s trips in the woods to pray as the house in which you had all lived hadn’t been built near the village and hence she couldn’t go to the temple; she had made with what she had and she had a few times brought you to pray upon the altair.  You hadn’t ever cared about such things - not as a child, too busy observing everything and playing games, not as an adult, when hunger and tiredness where all you felt - but you now understood the search for comfort as you assured yourself that both children are deep sleep before you slink into the night, directed towards the forest. And maybe it was the fact that you wish to disappear not unlike your father or to search for comfort in nature… Either way you found yourself on your knees, praying to a god whose name you don’t know and promising everything if only he helped your brothers - and you - survive. “I don’t ask much but a modest life and a bit to tend to” you weren’t lazy, nor stupid and the wind that blows seemed to say ‘what will you give me then?’ “Everything. Everything I am and everything I own”.

WARNINGS: mention of death, injuries, blood, animal death and such, pre-relationship, gothic and fairytale elements, she/her pronouns - afab character.

Last winter had taken a toll on the village and especially on your family.

Your mother had been long gone when your father hadn’t one day come back from a hunting trip.

This meant that you had been left alone caring for your boyfriends as it seemed like everybody was convinced that bad luck followed your family.

Left without parents, you had tried to handle the housekeeping and hunting, mostly growing the small garden in the back of your house and taking care of the few animals left alive by the intense cold that had just begun to thwart the income of a shy spring.

Whatever you needed you tried to exchange it at the weekly market but oftentimes, merchants or villagers would refuse a deal with you due to the bigotry of your circumstances and when men accosted you, it wasn’t with pure intentions.

Since you had grown into what was considered an age to be a spinster, everybody at the village refused to entertain a conversation with you but men didn’t disdain the possibility to bed you for a night, even under a compensation and although the thought disgusted you, there was a brewing desperation in your chest the night that you found your chicks slaughtered by an animal.

Eggs had always been a good source of income as the villagers in - at least - that department weren’t picky, with the scarcity that came as the nearest farm was miles away and many couldn’t have chicks.

So, with their death, you had now lost the major source of income for the following weeks and you didn’t have enough money to exchange for new chicks, even in a fewer quantity than the ones you had owned.

You had wrecked your head all night for a solution, although one didn’t come easy as you thought about rationing the food and selling what had been left behind and was valuable enough at the weekly market although you doubted that anybody would have made a deal with you

Unless you sold something else.

The thought of selling your body felt atrocious to you, but your little brothers would starve if you didn’t  do something as you are the sole family left to them.

«Big sister is worried» Kahiro had uttered at dinner as you tried to spoonfeed his twin, Shin’chi with the roots soup that you had cooked, hoping that such a meal - although not inviting - would fill them for the night.

You, yourself, went without dinner as the worries were raging in your head and you wouldn’t have been able to feel the taste of things.

«I don’t want it!» Shin’chi kept on protesting while you tried to be both sweet and kind, stern and authoritative but eventually the soup drenched wood tiles of the kitchen floor and suddenly you were hungry and feeling like a dog as you considered licking it off to sate your aching stomach.

Instead, you steadied yourself as a burning headache filled your mind and you couldn’t help but think that maybe your father hadn’t simply wandered off: he had willingly gone away to avoid the misery that came with your family.

Never like right now, hungry, worried and resourceless you had felt the curse upon your house.

«Then go to bed, immediately! No more dinner for you!».

You dreaded the task of being harsh with your brothers; they are much younger than you, enough that they could be sons instead of brothers - which they are as there is nobody else to handle them - and yet, you are young as well. 

A whole child who turned up too old as the heavy burden lowered your shoulder and your tired gaze followed a disgruntled Shin’chi bolt to his room, while Kahiro was swift to finish his soup and follow him.

Not before passing by you and clutching your sleeve to attract your attention, he said:

«Don’t cry, sweet sister. He’s just… being a meanie».

And only then you realized you were crying, immediately brushing away tears: what good did they do to the world? 

They were just a waste as irritation brewed in your stomach and you wondered why were you crying?

What use was there to cry when you couldn’t provide for your brothers or…

An idea hit you as you are suddenly reminded of your mother’s trips in the woods to pray as the house in which you had all lived hadn’t been built near the village and hence she couldn’t go to the temple; she had made with what she had and she had a few times brought you to pray upon the altair. 

You hadn’t ever cared about such things - not as a child, too busy observing everything and playing games, not as an adult, when hunger and tiredness where all you felt - but you now understood the search for comfort as you assured yourself that both children are deep sleep before you slink into the night, directed towards the forest.

And maybe it was the fact that you wish to disappear not unlike your father or to search for comfort in nature…

Either way you found yourself on your knees, praying to a god whose name you don’t know and promising everything if only he helped your brothers - and you - survive.

“I don’t ask much but a modest life and a bit to tend to” you weren’t lazy, nor stupid and the wind that blows seemed to say ‘what will you give me then?’ “Everything. Everything I am and everything I own”.

The praying session in the woods left you tired and without a purpose as the realization had hit you: there were no gods, nor miracles and by the following morning you’d still be hungry with two more mouths to feed and even less food to do so.

Or so you thought, as when you went to open the door to try to at least milk the starving cow that you still own to offer milk for your brothers’ breakfast, you are startled to find the carcass of a deer; you startled at the gory sight and wonder who ever could have done this. 

Which animal, more likely? 

The skin is damaged thoroughly and although the whole thing is still quite meaty and for the moment you doubted whether to bring it inside or not, you did wonder whether it could be a trap or how it had come to you.

Still, you found yourself not caring as the deer lasted you a week with the skin being sold in the weekly market: the villagers might have their bigotry but the few pieces of its mane that you were able to save from the blood spectacle on your doorsteps, were wonderful of a deeply white that has you wondering whether you were committing a sin against the gods by selling it.

Still, it must be the gods - or better, the god in the wood - that had sent you such a thing, hence it is no sin.

By then, you weren’t yet convinced that it’s the gods’ work, truly; it must be a coincidence but then other gifts start showing up: other animals horribly killed and yet, each one is enough to last you a week if not more if you are careful with the meat.

Then alive animals, some new chicks and a horse.

And while the horse could have been a wandering one, the chicks didn’t seem so accidental.

You welcomed everything still, as desperate as you were, promptly noticing that the gifts came at the start of the week and they would be delayed if you didn’t come in the woods, as if whichever god that had taken you beneath his mantle, was a jealous and worried one that rewarded your visits and prayers with gifts and your lacks with silence.

By the time summer approached, your life had much improved as you weren’t only able to properly provide to your brothers but the gifts of the god changed in nature; as you were by now able to handle your brothers’ needs, the things coming to your door are far more… frivolous. 

It started with flowers: nothing that could have been found in the woods but instead, you were sure, they had belonged in a luxurious foreign garden. 

Then it was pretty dresses, much fancier than you had ever owned even back before your family had fallen from grace. 

You had nowhere to wear them though, as going to the village in such fabric would have given place to rumors and that was the last thing you  needed as they all seemed startled already by the amount of game and furs you brought to sell, as you justified their existence by stating you had found it all in the woods.

Still, such luxurious fabrics tempted you and when you’d be at home, finished with the harshness of the average day, you’d try them on and indulging your brothers you’d pretend to be a luxurious lady or even princess of some fable, blessing your soldiers with a favor before sending them off to battle or declaring a winner among their internal ‘wars’.

You sometimes wished to have a mirror to see yourself in such a getup but you couldn’t handle such frivolousness when your main purpose of each day was to save some starving mouths.

Still, you wore the exotic fabrics when you’d go and pray, mostly to show to your god your gratefulness and he seemed to enjoy such a thoughtful action, rewarding you with two deliveries that same week: one for you of a beautiful headpiece made of what you were sure was jade, and another for your brothers. 

Matching wooden ponies for them to pretend to ride as you had yet to teach them on the same horse that had been delivered to you.

As summer broke through, though, things started to get slightly more complicated as it seemed like different villagers had been attacked by what many described as a curse through the night, leaving the bodies horribly disfigured to the point that their loved ones struggled to recognize them. 

You had been trying to avoid, then, the trip to the village as you knew that your visits were further witnessed with a tenseness that had many uncomfortable if not suspicious. 

Still, you couldn’t rely wholly on the kindness of your god for everything and your brothers had insisted on a visit to the village, having been cooped up with the good season in the house and although they had each other for company, you guessed they might just enjoy some kids their age.

You kept an eye on them as you went through the market, selling your eggs as you kept an attentive ear to the rumors going around although a strange silence fell onto you the moment you walked in as if the conversation had been awkwardly about you and nobody else, and now caught the villagers felt shame. 

Or worry.

“Don’t play with them” you heard a mother call out to her own child, who was waving around his toy to your brothers “They have a curse upon them. And their sister is nothing but a witch”.

You clenched your teeth at the insult not just for yourself but also your poor brothers who fell behind you, any joy left being shut off as they clutched your skirts as if to hide underneath them. 

That visit didn’t solely leave behind a bad taste in your mind but as you were coming back you were caught in a summer rain tempest that left you drenched and although you were quick in bathing your brothers, they both came down with a severe fever the following day.

You trekked down the village - feverish yourself - to seek out a healer and some medicine that might help your brothers. 

Still nobody wished to sell you anything and the healer shunned you out, pushing you out of her hut the moment that you walked inside. 

In the dirty mud you cursed underneath your breath before promptly regaining a bit of your dignity and going back with an unsteady step to your own hours and although you weren’t a firm believer in miracles - no matter what happened in the forest - you still hoped and prayed that your brothers would be safe by the time that you came to them.

You were startled at first upon hearing noises coming from the door, as your brothers had been too weak to get up from bed and it couldn’t be a wandering animal as you had ensured that everything would be closed and looked; you rushed inside mindful to grab a huge rock to use as as weapon as inside the sight was startling: a white-haired human was standing atop your brother’s bed, who looked less flustered and far more peaceful in their slumber as a wet rag had been put on their foreheads.

As if sensing your return, the white haired stranger turned to you with a prompt neutral expression as they started speaking:

«Their fever broke through and it shall pass through the night»

You were startled as you inwardly clutched tighter the rock in your hands, having hidden it behind your back.

«… I have left some medicine brewed for you as well, and if you allow me, I’ll take onto the household chores for the day and…».

«Who are you?» you screeched, croaking due to the sickness in your body and although you were trying to sound threatening you were well aware that if they had any bad intentions, they wouldn’t only have the advantage of you being sick but they could easily hold your brothers hostages.

The fact that they hadn’t till right now was a good thing, but you had grown to rely only on yourself, shunned out of your own community, and now the sudden quest of trust had you uneasy at best. 

«My name does not matter as it’s my lord’s own» not very reassuring and the intruder noticed the disbelief promptly on your face «… but if you must know I am Uraume».

«What are you doing in my house, Uraume?» you questioned as you pushed the rock forward if anything to show them that you had a weapon onto yourself. Not a very good one as the white-haired stranger promptly sent you a disimpressed look «… how… how did you get through?».

«The door» oh you didn’t enjoy that they were being sarcastic, certainly not when they had intruded in your peace and although they had somehow meant to help your brothers, you’d have preferred for them to leave. 

And never come back.

«… and it’s my master that has sent me. To help you, my lady».

«I am no lady» you shot down before rushing out of curiosity «… who is your master?».

Now the plot thickened as if this stranger had been sent to you by somebody there must be a bigger plan and although they might not be an inherent threat, you felt unease at the thought of people - strangers - knowing about where you and your brothers lived. 

You couldn’t pick up your things and move, especially with all the gifts that you had received recently, no matter the distaste you found for the village who hadn’t helped you. You couldn’t leave your god of the wood behind and suddenly it hit you while Uraume’s face brightened in satisfaction.

«No… it can’t… it can’t … be» and yet, he was the sole one who knew of your struggles, and the sole one that had seemed to care so far «… your master… is a … a god».

«Not yet» Uraume corrected promptly «… but he’s quite close. He’s glad that you have enjoyed his gifts so far as he finds your gratitude satisfactory».

It startled you to know that the help you had received wasn’t the result of a god who just wished your devotion, but something definitely more human as Uraume might be ethereal but you could tell they were very much as human as you; and this scared you although the heated state of your mind: if it was a human behind everything… 

… considering the state of the animals he had brought to your door…

«I see fear in your eyes, but I’ll have you know that my master doesn’t wish any injury nor cruelty upon you or your siblings» they spoke attentively, coming one step closer to you definitely ignoring the rock in your hand, probably painfully aware you were far too sick to swing it to them and with the way they fluidly moved you thought Uraume to be human, but not human enough «… he finds your worship an entertaining practice and such a thought fills him with satisfaction. He asked me to come to you to be of help to you».

And it downed you: although Uraume and his master were strangers to you, they had been a better community than the village that had been supposed to cherish you. 

The god in wood might be a cruel one but he was still your god.

«… I… can’t think» you admitted but you startled when your legs suddenly gave out underneath you and all too soon Uraume was beside you, trying to swiftly push you to lean against them although you protested; you might have come to conclusion that neither them nor their master would harm you, but this didn’t mean that you were eager to have either in your house «… let me… let me go!».

«Not till your own fever breaks» they spoke now less haughtily and respectfully «And such thing won’t happen if you don’t rest».

«I… I can’t…» on top of the lingering illness, you had been too concerned with your brothers to even sleep and it all came onto you although your body tensed up and shivered as it tried to fight against Uraume’s hold «… I don’t… you might… your master might be my god but I don’t… trust you».

«Then trust him» and as if talking with a spoiled child, Uraume added with a meager smile «… he has always helped you when you most needed it. He’d never send somebody to hurt you. Or your brothers».

You felt like Uraume had hit the target with their words and although begrudgingly you agreed to be brought to bed, with your eyes settling like an hawk on Uraume who was swift to move around the house, as if it was their own and you’d have been far more worried if you had been in your right mind as a boot of sanity came by when the attendant went to serve you dinner, by spoon feeding you.

Your brothers’ sleep had seemed much better than any they had gotten the previous night and Uraume insisted that they’d wake up soon. 

It was enough that as you were treated as a child yourself, you grew restless and ask Uraume some questions.

«Who is your master?».

«That’s for me to know and for you to discover when the time is ready».

«Isn’t that ominous?» you protested lightly as a spoon of hot soup was promptly shoved into your mouth «… not that I am not grateful for his help, but I just wonder… how… and most importantly what he might want from me?».

«He shall come soon to tell you in person».

The thought set fear alive in the pit of your belly, although it alighted with something else as well, a feeling you couldn’t detect fully as it was new for you as well.

«… and he shall tell you what he wants from you».

The thought didn’t thrill you as Uraume, themselves, held an air of eeriness; their master must be somebody far more ruthless, considered the animals he had haunted for you and your brothers, and somebody far more powerful. 

To meet such a man… it thrilled you in both a positive and negative way.

«I know it feels scary» it seemed like Uraume could just read your mind as they went to grab a clean rag to douse your burning forehead although with a belly full and rest beneath your eyelids, you definitely felt better and far more relieved at your brothers’ safety «… but if my master had any intention to hurt you, he’d have done so long ago».

«… again, that isn’t exactly reassuring» you shot back promptly, as your eyes moved to your brothers: your safety might be assured but what about your own? Uraume, again, caught the drift before you could utter your worries.

«My master might be a harsh one but he won’t harm your children, my lady» you startled at the title, as you flustered about being called something you had never been but Uraume shut down any attempt you made at correcting her «… if anything your devotion to your brothers is something that he admires. Greatly».

You flustered, although it wasn’t a true complement, suddenly finding that the verbal spar you had had with Uraume had left you tired and although you wished to keep an eye on the attendant, you found yourself drifting towards unconsciousness, startled when you woke up to your brothers’ little hands pushing and pulling on your shoulders for you to wake up. 

They didn’t seem anymore feverish and were running around the house while the sole telltale sign of your previous sickness was a slight headache and for a moment you considered everything of the previous night a dream, although the whole house was ordered and you even found some food awaiting for you, an homemade treat that you hadn’t cooked.

And although you were grateful for Uraume’s help, you felt the tension at what they had said: their master would soon come for you and then you’d understand what he might want out of you.

You had taken to lose sleep at night because of this, and that’s the sole reason why you managed to get out of the house when the fire first started; you had taken to be restless and although the woods always calmed you down at times like this after the revelation that your god existed and wanted to connect with you, you had paced yourself with your visits although you knew they’d mean less weekly gifts. 

You had been sitting down at the window sill of your brothers’ room watching them sleep comfortably in their beds as this sight always calmed you down although all too soon your nostrils were tickled by something that smelled akin to smoke. 

You at first thought that it might be from the hunters’ encampment in the woods but then it became more extensive and you saw the phantom hand of smoke.

You were quick to shake awake your brothers as you opened the window to let yourself and the children out of the house, startled when you saw the front going up in flames; was this… was this the punishment from your god for your dissertation? 

No, it couldn’t be: Uraume had said that he wouldn’t have harmed you and so far, your lacks had been returned with silences on his part. It had little to no sense to punish you - and your brothers - so harshly, when before he hadn’t ever.

Still, you came all too soon to a second realization as you heard voices and chants and quickly sending your brothers to hide in the woods nearby, you notice a crowd of villagers with torches; those fuckers… they hadn’t only shunned you and your brothers out due to their bigotry and superstition, but they had wished to hurt you and your brothers. 

Purge your own lives with fire.

And that was when it hit you, just how awful you had been treated.

«Why… I…» you tried to make sense of the burning feelings in your chest «… I hate them! I hate them! I wish they would all be dead!».

It felt childish and with a second thought, you’d have been careful of the words that left your mouth as an eerie calm settled across the whole area and the flames were promptly smothered, much to the villagers’ horror as their eyes settled onto you.

«Witch!» they shouted all in chorus as they raised their torches and you’d have thought they’d have burned you alive «… curse upon our village!».

«There were children in my house!» you shouted back, uncaring of the feeling of a rope snapping tight around your stomach as if you were being pulled by something «… you… you are the true monsters!».

«Let’s burn her and ensure that whatever she does in our village will stop, before it’s too late!» one of the most important villagers spoke, as he moved closer to you with a torch, pushing it in your direction while you tried to back away but all too soon the villagers had surrounded you and you felt like a trapped mouse about to meet the end of a trap.

You closed your eyes and heard a slight and sharp breath of wind, promptly startled when you heard the noises of the villagers dim down as they had done when the flames had gone out all in a swift move. 

Also in that case you had heard a gush of wind and slowly you understood the two things had been connected.

Your god had arrived as he moved through the parted crowd of villagers. 

You noticed that a few had been brashly cut in half in an horrid spectacle of blood and guts. 

The man, you had thought your savior, was at least a few heads taller than any man you had ever met; bright pink hair and maroon eyes - double in number - set on you as he moved through the road he created for himself.

He wasn’t human, that much you knew.

And while you should have felt dread - fear at least - for what he had done to your fellow villagers, you found yourself not shivering due to that, as you reasoned that if he hadn’t killed them, they’d have done the same to you. 

A prey never feared the predator who ate the animal stalking them and hunting them down.

Your god was massive and strong and with elegant gestures of his hands he freed himself quickly to come to you, with blood slightly coating his four arms and the elegant traditional clothing he was wearing, as elegant in the fabric as your own and startled by such a parallelism you uttered, almost stupidly.

«My dresses… the ones… you gifted me… they were inside» you doubted that they’d have been salvageable and the thought filled you with a sensation of shame at having shown such gifts so little care, startled when the enormous monster offered you one of his impressive hands as if to tell you to come and with a slight hesitation you put your hands in his, startled to see it was the least bloody one.

«I’ll have new ones made for you» he spoke solemnly and resolutely «… better in quality and more fitting».

You nodded a bit flustered by how easily this unknown man - a stranger - wished to take care of you with an intensity that hadn’t been in your life for such a long time. 

He gently pulled onto your hands although you held your ground. 

You knew he could have easily swept you off your feet or eaten you - as his elongated fangs indicated - but he simply looked at you curiously as if he couldn’t place your behavior.

«… my brothers…» you couldn’t leave them behind, not even for such a caring monster.

«They are with Uraume» he spoke promptly and obviously, as if he was already ahead of you «… probably bothering them as they take after their sister’s inquiring curiosity».

You raised an eyebrow at the slight tease, not truly convinced that such a huge monster could joke so easily. And get you to smile so openly as you hadn’t done in a long time.

So, you followed him before saying.

«You aren’t going to hurt me, right?.

Iit made little sense as to how much he had done for you, rescuing you through the winter and saving your brothers in the summer. Right now, he had even avoided you burning alive, although your house was gone.

«Hurt you?» he chuckled boisterously although his face scrunched up in displeasure «… why would I hurt you, little dove?».

You flustered at the petname, effectively unable to come up with an effective reasoning as to why he’d hurt you: he had protected you so far and most importantly he wanted something from you.

«… then… what do you want from me?» from a poor orphan who had just her brothers to look after.

The monster smiled, all sharp and scrunched eyebrows. It shouldn’t have felt reassuring as he clutched your hand more gently, effectively stopping to clutch it as he’d do with a resisting person.

«Isn’t it obvious what I want?» you shook your head and he pursued his lips in disapproval, as if to say ‘I thought you smarter’ «I want your devotion, sweet thing».

Again the petname, again that slight fluster, but still it wasn’t enough as his eyes gently downed onto your lips for but a moment.

«I want your devotion to me and I want you to worship me, as my rightful wife».

credits for dividers: @/saradika-graphics

[redbleedingrose]

i think eris collects fancy wine and lucien has a lot of old maps what do u think

Oh, I have been waiting all DAY for someone to send me an ask about my favorite Vanserra bro’s! I am so excited tehehhe!!

Hobbies for the Vanserra Bro’s

Eris Vanserra

Okay, starting with the love of my LIFE!!!

He is a master of all trades tbh. He has so many hobbies, especially once Beron goes bye bye LMAO. He has so much more free time, he was already practically running the Autumn Court, even when Beron was alive. But now, without the added stress of his father, he is trying to explore all different avenues for hobbies, especially when you can join him.

He absolutely collects fancy wines. I think Er is a collector in general. He likes collecting wines that you both can share after a long day of hard work, he likes to collect unique and rare editions of his favorite books that he can display in the library he built for you, he likes collecting rocks and geodes and seashells that he will use as decorations in Marwa and Twila’s nursery. When they are born, Eris becomes a collector of all things for his favorite babes. He collects dresses and jewelry that they will use when they are older, he loves collecting shoes and handbags for them. Eventually, a new wing to your home is added just so he can store all of things he has collected over the years for them that they have unlimited access to. I also think Er would collect children’s stories and books for them, he loves encouraging them to learn and grow into smart, young ladies. He absolutely expands the library for them, creating a little play space for them along with hundreds, if not thousands of books that all belong to them.

I also think Eris would become involved with creating DV shelters. He would absolutely love being involved in foundations and charities that specialize in helping women get away from their ab*sers, and building a new life for themselves. He has created a whole new job sector for these women, and often finds himself visiting these shelters so that he can help the older ladies running the home cook and clean. You can picture him in his apron, scrubbing away at the tile with furrowed brows trying to get the grout out. He would also bring his pups to the shelters so that they can play with the ladies and the children.

While Beron was alive, he did have a secret hobby that only you know of. One that you and him will take to the grave. One that was the reason for your first oathe to him, the reason that you have a tattoo that matches his on your left forearm.

Tehe.

You know those smutty books that Nesta reads?

Yeah…… He ghost wrote those.

Don’t ask questions, but he did.

The poor male had to express himself and his desire for you somehow.

Anyway, only you and him know that he is Prythian’s best selling romance author. And thats the way its going to stay.

That secret follows you both to the grave.

Oh and Eris is for sure an animals rights activist. He loves his horses and his pups so much, even though he will never admit it, but he has spent a lot of time creating laws that provide protections for endangered species and animal rights in general. He has limited hunting grounds in Autumn Court to allow for safe areas for animas to roam and exist freely. He absolutely tries to convince you to move onto a farm with him. He wants so many animals on that farm, he wants pigs and goats, dogs and cats, horses and cows. He also really loves the idea of having chickens.

One day you will give in from his incessant begging.

Not today, but one day.

Lucien Vanserra

Lucien is also a collector, just like his older brother. He absolutely collects old maps. He also collects coins that he finds on the ground, claiming they are lucky, and he also collects stamps from different courts, using them to depict his travels and act as an homage to his journey through life that lead to finding you. I think Loosh also collects art and pottery, and I know he himself, has dipped into the talent of pottery as a hobby. Even if all of his vases are a little crooked and his mugs are kinda cracked and a janky orange color.

He tries his very best, and thats all that matters to you.

So you will absolutely display his crooked vases in your home, and use his janky orange mugs, even if he glares at you while your coffee leaks in dribbles onto the floor and you smirk at him over the rim of the mug and you wiggle your eyebrows as you “cheers” him. Because you are a loving, good mate who displays your mates talent of course.

Even if it is just to make fun of him

But I also think he is a nature freak. He loves cultivating and collecting rare herbs and plants that he can grow in Day Court. He loves using those herbs and plants to create herbal remedies. He is a big naturalist. I think before you accepted him as your mate, he spent a lot of time in the Day Court libraries trying to get his mind off of you and he did that by studying old medicine. He studied different healing techniques and herbs that he could use to create medicinal potions. Over time, it grew into collecting these herbs and creating these potions for those who are sick, especially the elderly where he ended up donating a lot of his creations.

He also loves going fishing, he could spend hours in the ocean or in a lake or river swimming and fishing. He always releases them back into the wild, but I think there is something he finds peaceful about being in nature and being able to use nature in different ways. He loves going on hikes with you, and he absolutely is a camping nerd. His first holiday with you included going no-contact with every other person he knows for a week and spending that week in nature with you. He taught you different ways to find fresh water, and he would catch fish and cook them for you over the fire he stoked. At some point, he became really really good at cooking outdoors and was creating meals that are almost impossible for the most experienced chefs to make out door using nature.

Anyway, it was fun, and while it may not be your cup of tea for every vacation you take, you will go with him on this camping trip at least once a year to get away from society and spend time with your favorite male.

But!!! This does spark an idea for Lucien.

He loves to take young children out into nature to teach them about it, teaching them how to fish and how to survive in the outdoors just for fun. So he creates a little group of 5-10 year old children similar to Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts, encouraging all children to join him as he takes them out into nature. He teaches them how to swim, and how to tie sailors knots, and how to safely make s’mores. The children of Day Court look forward to it all year, excited to spend one on one time with their high lord who teaches them so many things, who is so kind to them, who is so funny and cool to hang out with. Story time in front of a campfire slaps for those kids. Eventually, when your children grow of age, he brings them with him, giving you a whole week for yourself to rejuvenate and vacation in peace.

With that being said, Lucien does take action similar to his brother. He creates national parks and conservation areas to protect nature. It is something that he finds incredibly important and he knows that one day, his children and grandchildren, and future generations as well, will appreciate his efforts to protect the world. He goes as far as convincing other courts to join his efforts as well, expanding protected areas.

Masterlist

[klausysworld]

Yandere!Reader with Sub Klaus

Vulnerable for the taking

Klaus was known to be ruthless and terrifying. He was someone who always got what he wanted and would do whatever necessary to have it.

The small issue was: so am i.

So when i met him, and i saw just how broken he was inside, i knew that i wanted to keep him. His eyes were so sad as he wondered the streets of Mystic Falls, poor thing was just nearly killed by his step-father, betrayed by his sister and told nobody would ever love him. How that pathetic excuse of a father was wrong.

He took a seat on the local park bench. His face fell to his hands and his body began to shake with his sobs.

I silently sat beside him, my hands moved to lightly rub his back making his head shoot up, he looked at me with confused and teary eyes.

“What did they do to you?” I muttered seeing his blood stained shirt.

“Who are you?” He questioned quietly

“Someone who wants to help” i whispered and he frowned

“I don’t need help” he murmured though his face nuzzled my hands subconsciously as i held him. My thumbs brushed over his stubble making his eyes droop, he was surely exhausted after fighting for his life.

“No? Bet you’re tired though, where are you staying? Let me take you home” i whispered. Now of course i knew where he was staying, he was in a hotel just outside of town while his mansion was being built by the hybrids he had gathered the past couple weeks. I already had a copy of the key to his room and the receptionist was lovely but he was a paranoid man and I couldn’t frighten him off now could i?

“Come on Niklaus” i encouraged as he looked to me cautiously

“How do you know my name?” He questioned i smiled at him

“I met your sister, Rebekah, she asked me to check you made it out alive incase the others did something to her, which I believe it’s safe to assume that they have.” I explained and he sighed in what i presume to be relief.

It’s true, i became fast friends with Rebekah after offering her somewhere to sit for lunch, she was easy to get open up, she spilled everything about her family in the span of ten minutes. I liked her, she was very bouncy and joyful and then when she mentioned her brother who had murdered there mother and feared her father would murder him in an act of revenge, well it was a great opportunity to meet him and have him see me as someone good.

I may or may not have found out some information on him since his first mentioning in town. See Caroline, Bonnie and Elena weren’t exactly quiet with their talking about the supernatural, i found out like a lot.

So i ended up having a thing for him. It’s fine plus he’s a fun person to try and capture. I thought he’d be a little more angsty but thankfully i got him at a vulnerable time, he was quiet and exposed.

“You can come to my house if you don’t want to go back to wherever you’re staying?” I offered and his head nodded slightly

“Rebekah sent you?” He confirmed

“Bekah sent me, said that they were planning something with…Mikael?” I told him and that was enough evidence for him as he nodded and stood up letting me bring him to my home.

He stayed silent the entire time as i brought him to my room and gave him some clothes to change into and a towel for his shower. He thanked me quietly before disappearing into the bathroom. When he reemerged he was little keener to talk.

“How did you meet my sister?” He asked as i combed through his hair, i had convinced him i could help nourish his curls.

“School, she makes a big impression” I muttered gently getting out the little knots that had formed

“You must too if she chose to be friends with you” he hummed looking to me through the mirror infront of us

“I think she just needed someone to he kind to her” i said with a smile as his lips upturned back at me.

I added the mousse to his hair and gently brought my fingers through it to apply it evenly. I watched as his eyes fell shut and his lips parted as i massaged his scalp. I tugged lightly at a lock of his hair causing a moan to slip from his mouth, his eyes opening as his cheeks went bright pink and a smirked at him through the mirror

“Just let your hair dry naturally and ur should come out nice and curly” i told him while spraying his hair over and taking a step back. His eyes were already shades lighter than when i found him earlier as he smiled

“Can we sleep now? I’m exhausted” he muttered and i nodded

“Of course you can stay in my bed, I’ll be just downstairs” i told him gently stroking his face with the back of my fingers

“Nonsense you should stay in the bed with me. I won’t bite, promise” he said while beckoning me over to the bed and pulling me down with him.

“I don’t know…I’m told biting is your specialty” i hummed and he grinned showing me his sharp, deadly teeth making me roll my eyes and lay down beside him

“I have no reason to bite you” he mumbled as he shuffled closer to me.

He fell asleep with his head on my chest, mumbling to me about something I couldn’t quite make out while i wrapped my arms around him. He was such easy prey for someone who was known to be a predator.

———————————————————————

Since that day my home had become a safe haven of sorts for him. He was always sat waiting for me when i got home, eyes lighting up when i walked through the door.

It got to the point where he could only sleep if he were in my arms

“You keep the nightmares away” he murmured once as he nuzzled my neck and i hummed “Then I’ll just have to keep you here with me” and he didn’t seem too bothered by it, rather happy i would say as he nodded and kissed my neck tenderly.

He became more attached by the second and i loved it. He never put up a fight when i asked for him to stay, when i wouldn’t let him leave my hold and keep him in my bed all day.

I found that he was uncharacteristically well behaved and kind. He always had me do his hair and tend to his wounds. He would sit patiently and allow me to do whatever i like, he had grown to completely and utterly trust me.

It were as though he were a puppy and i were his master. He was obedient and learnt to follow me wherever i went.

His siblings didn’t mind me taking him, i kept him with me always. Got him to move in and everything. Sometimes his family would come visit

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so…comfortable” Elijah told me as he watched Niklaus cook our dinner

“Uhuh sure, i mean i knew he was a dog but this is stepping it up” Kol muttered making me glare and Rebekah smack the side of his head

“I think it’s sweet, he’s happy” she murmured with a small smile as she flicked her eyes between us.

Klaus was even more happy knowing his family liked me, all the more eager to stay with me.

It wasn’t long until i had him entirely.

How he thrived when he was beneath me was addicting, having him squirming and whining while he his hands stayed tied above him head “Please, please let me” he would whimper as he neared his high, eyes screwed shut as he hung onto the edge tightly “not yet, you gotta be good, just another minute” but he could never wait the whole moment.

I had him wrapped around my finger in every way,practically and sometimes literally on a leash. He came to me whenever he needed or wanted for something and i did whatever i could to get it for him. Whether it was stealing Elenas blood or punishing a certain Lockwood for a betrayal.

“I’ll keep you safe” i would assure him as he would smile back at me

“I know you will” he murmured

“Yeah?” I whispered kissing his cheek and he nodded as i climbed on top of him

“I know because i love you” he uttered and i felt my heart grow

“I love you too, i always will”

[camp-mithril-lake]

Oho? Another person with a fan continuity? I read up on your ideas and i love it i cant wait to see more of your au!!

I love seeing fan continuities! They are so fun!

I am more than happy to talk about it more! I'm still hammering out details so it is subject to change though. I have been fully convinced to include Strongarm though. I am just deciding if she is the Ultra Magnus kid or the JazzProwl kid. Leaning towards JP though, because it would be hilarious when she drops certain things her "mentor" taught her and everyone thinks it was Prowl.

I have done some more building on everyone! And have a few "episode" ideas. I'm going to frame it as Seasons and have smaller fics be episodes instead of one larger fic. I've always wanted to do a similar frame never found the perfect story for it.

The main things I've built up are Hot Rod, Thunderclash, and Ambulon/Bob/Sunstreaker's backstories. This will be long, so I'll put it under the cut.

HOT ROD & FLAMEWAR

Hot Rod is a war orphan who was taken in by Kup who found him alone and sick in a house. Hot Rod was too sick to tell anyone that his twin sister had left to find medicine/help and they'd been alone there for awhile with Hot Rod getting sicker. The medics in charge of taking care of him had trouble because they didn't know he was a split-spark twin and and couldn't figure out what kept causing his spark to go into distress. It is unhealthy for twins, especially closely bonded ones, to be separated until adulthood.

Sunstreaker was actually the one who noticed it as bond shock and fetched Ratchet. This saved Hot Rod's life and Autobots were immediately sent to check for his sister when he was coherent enough to offer a description and designation. She wasn't there though.

He bonded quickly with the rest of "Kup's orphans", especially Springer and Arcee. Hot Rod is trans and during his final upgrade adjusted his frame to suit his preferences. He is always on the look out for his sister who he knows is still alive because their bond is active. Though very weak and suppressed due to the medicine he has to take.

He grew up underfoot with Kup interacting with the Wreckers and other special groups, mostly moving from place to place in the training areas or staying on the ship, because Kup didn't bring kids into active war areas. When it was possible he sent them to stay on family housing where it was safe. Hot Rod still grew up learning how to make bombs and where the perfect place to stab someone was because the Wreckers were not the best babysitters. As the youngest he was incredibly spoiled and protected in their own strange way though, especially once Springer got into a position he could recommend his baby brother be sent to safer places and Arcee started working directly with Prowl and Elita-1.

Kup told them they had to let their brother live his life and was the one who arranged for Hot Rod to get the job and have a little breathing room.

Hot Rod's twin sister, Flamewar, actually ran into the Decepticons first and tried to rob them, biting and getting caught and grabbed by the Combaticons. By the time they could move out to investigate Hot Rod had already been found and the area they'd been hiding in was destroyed.

The Combaticons weren't free to go back to safely drop off an orphan so they just took her with them. When she started to grow ill, later than Hot Rod as she'd been mostly healthy, they kidnapped a medic and forced him to treat her. She stayed with them for months and they became her new family.

They kept her, registering her as part of their elective kin and she grew up a Decepticon but one who was less than enchanted by Megatron. She loved them and was happy and they supported her search for her twin, who they were incorrectly looking for under the name Flareup.

The Combaticons eventually rebelled though after careful cost-benefit scenario but made absolutely certain to not implicate her, going as far to leave her somewhere else and distance themselves so it wouldn't come back on her. She got to visit them during their trial and Onslaught told her to betray them so per her parents' orders she spoke against them on the stand. She was pardoned, and to repay an old favor, Soundwave made sure she was cared for. She had definitely inherited the Combaticons opinions and views though and kept getting in trouble.

She was eventually sent to Dreadwing and Krok.

SUNSTREAKER, BOB, and AMBULON

Bob (Bucket-of-Bolts), Sunstreaker's nickname for him that became his name, was an Insecticon in the same facility as Ambulon and Sunstreaker. All three of them were test subjects for the experiments going on there done by Scorponok and Flame (who betrayed the Autobots). Sunstreaker and Bob bonded and Ambulon eventually started working with them as well to escape. The facility was not approved by the Decepticons as Scorponok was plotting to overthrow Megatron, which lead to it being attacked once discovered.

They escaped but Sunstreaker and Bob were injured in the attack. Ambulon was planning to go neutral but seeing their injuries instead called the Autobots and turned himself in to assure they lived. Ambulon defected and joined the Autobots during this time. Bob was gravely injured and couldn't transform any longer and had some damage that he potential could never recover from. There was a possibility he could heal especially with care and steady spark energy transfusions to assist, but that was only a possibility.

Sunstreaker immediately devoted himself to Bob's care and is weaker and off the frontlines because he is doing transfusions daily to help in his recovery and vowed to stay with Bob no matter what his frame looks like or severe the injuries. Sunstreaker had also taken a very long time to recover due to the extent of the injuries.

Ambulon is trusted by them both and eventually was off parole and approved for service and got sent with them as a result.

THUNDERCLASH

Thunderclash is the main Autobot Commander in the area nearest to them and will appear often as well. He was recently reassigned to the Safe Zone, which has caused a bit of a scandal. He is also Hot Rod's age and shouldn't be in command due to this.

Thunderclash was another orphan who Ratchet took in when his family, a relatively wealthy political family, was assassinated. Ratchet did not want him to join the war effort at all and did everything he could to discourage him. This lead to some fighting and eventually, Thunderclash running away. Ratchet was heartbroken. Thunderclash was already very large and lied about his age to join the Autobots in another region.

He was doing well and came under the wing of the base commander who was more than a little reckless. During a risky maneuver that failed, their command structure was devastated and Thunderclash, having been closely working with him had the clearest idea of what was going on and where everyone was, took over temporarily to get them through it and won the battle.

He continued to stay in command since there was no way to get out communication under siege and was in control for awhile keeping the region together and eventually being officially promoted to fill the role. He was rapidly promoted, caused at least partially by further deaths to a higher position much too quickly. When the area finally settled and connections were reestablished he was considered famous both militarily and politically.

When he was sent to meet High Command and give his report though, Ratchet recognized his kid through the final upgrade and new paintjob and the whole charade was revealed. It was a huge blowup and Thunderclash's age and inexperience coupled with his too rapid promotions being backfilled by more trusted officers lead to his "reassignment" to calmer climes with more experienced officers accompanying him to ease him into leadership since they now had the option.

This lead to rumors that someone had tried to suppress the "rising star" of Thunderclash, who was actually very relieved by his reassignment and flying by the seat of his pants.

He was deeply traumatized by the events that lead to his promotion and his "heroics" are nothing but terrible memories. His issues with his previous commanding officers recklessness leading to so much death causes tensions between himself and Hot Rod.

[armpirate]

Anti-romantic || JJk | Ch. 38

Pairings: Boxer!Jungkook x fem!reader || Enemies to lovers, neighbors

Genre: smut, angst, fluff, curse, illegal boxing, violence

Warnings: fuckboy!Jungkook x reader, smut, dirty talk, curse, mention of tarot and fate

Summary: Jungkook had always been carefree when it came to love. He always believed he was worth sharing himself with everyone, and thought it was selfish of him to ever think of keeping himself exclusive to just one person.

And maybe that was exactly what got him into the big problem he was in.

A curse that kept him away from love didn't seem an issue for him. The fact that his ex-girlfriend thought he'd be affected by the idea of the girls he slept with running away from him after sex was ridiculous. She actually did him a favor, and took a burden away from him.

At least that was what he thought at first.

He had never found himself thinking of the possibility of repeating with neither of his hook ups, because they disappeared before he was able to even think about it. But when he makes the mistake of sleeping with the sexy neighbor that lives in front of him, he finds himself hoping to get the chance for a second round every time their paths cross.

Y/n hated him the second he set foot inside the building by the way he started making her life a miserable mess for no reason. Sleeping with him was a big mistake she wasn't thinking of repeating. At least not until he came up with the excuse that she rejected him for a curse. Not only she thought he was annoying, but she was also convinced he was crazy. 

There was no way she could take him seriously.

Aprox. time of reading: 17 minutes

Previous || Next

MASTERLIST

Y/n sat at her desk, eyes glazed over as the bright glow of her laptop screen illuminated the light newsroom. The cursor blinked at her mockingly on a blank page titled: "The Best Parks for Weekend Picnics".

Parks for picnics, she thought with a sigh, dragging a hand down her face. How am I supposed to write about picnics when my entire life is falling apart?

She hadn't responded to Jungkook's texts all day. She couldn't. Every time she heard her phone vibrate, her chest tightened, and her heart started racing. She couldn't face him -not yet. Not after what she had found in his office. The days that followed consisted of her checking through her peephole whether he was near her door just so she'd be able to escape without having to face him.

A noise from across the room startled her, making her jump slightly. She glanced up, only to see Jackie standing at the edge of the cubicle, arms crossed, watching her with a look that screamed "I'm worried".

—You okay? —Jackie asked, stepping closer.

—Yeah —Y/n swallowed hard, forcing a smile—. Just... trying to focus.

—Y/n, you've been sitting in front of that laptop for hours —Jackie raised an eyebrow, unimpressed—, and you haven't written a single word.

Y/n opened her mouth to protest but realized her friend was right. She hadn't written anything. She couldn't. Her thoughts were stuck in a whirlwind of Jungkook, her brother, and the revelation that had shattered the fragile trust they'd built. How could she even begin to concentrate?

—I'm fine, seriously —she muttered, turning back to her screen—. Just a lot on my mind.

Jackie didn't budge. Instead, she walked over and perched herself on the edge of Y/n's desk, eyeing her closely.

—Is this about Jungkook?

Y/n stiffened at the mention of Jungkook, biting her lip to keep from reacting. Of course, Jackie had figured it out. She was sharp, and Y/n had been anything but subtle. She'd been a mess ever since that day at the gym.

—Look —Jackie continued, her tone softer now—, whatever's going on, it's eating you alive. You need to deal with it, because this —she gestured at the screen— isn't helping. Avoiding the guy isn't going to solve anything.

—I'm not avoiding him —Y/n lied quickly.

—Sure —Jackie gave her a knowing look—. And I'm the Queen of England.

Ever since their argument, Jungkook had been waiting in front of the building, with a clear distressed look on his face while he hopefully checked on every person who walked out the door. Jackie had seen him a few times that week, while also knowing that Y/n was staying in the office longer than usual. Or, at least, longer than she stayed ever since she started being serious about Jungkook.

It didn't take her older coworker too much thought to understand what was going on between them.

—I just... —Y/n let out a frustrated sigh, slumping back in her chair— I don't know what to do. It's complicated.

—Complicated how?

She trusted a person she shouldn't have trusted. She should've listened to her inner self when she kept telling herself Jungkook was bad news. Yet she decided to give him a chance, to try and see through that first impression she got of him, because he was offering her a safe space that she craved and needed.

—We are giving each other some space —she finally said.

—Does your boyfriend know about its meaning or am I missing something?

She knew about his visits the first day Alma came up joking about him showing up, but they received no response other than how she was spending the night there until late. That first night she expected Jungkook to be sitting by her door, or waiting in his place for her to come, but he didn't show up, he didn't insist.

And she was glad he didn't put her in such a tough position.

—Why don't we go out for a drink? —she suggested, trying to set her free from the office— I bet alcohol will work great to get you to roll your tongue.

—Jacks...

—I was kidding. But it'll help you to disconnect —she assured her—. Whatever happened between you two... Going from home to the office and vice versa won't give you the break you need. I promise you —she arched her eyebrows, trying to insist—. You don't even have to drink, you can get a milkshake if you like.

That comment stole a smirk from Y/n, while also rolling her eyes. She agreed with her friend, it'd definitely work to let her mind rest from everything that was just building up noise.

As Jackie left, Y/n turned back to her laptop, the cursor still blinking at her like a ticking time bomb. She rubbed her temples and sighed, her thoughts drifting back to Jungkook. She could still feel the weight of his arms around her from that day, the way he had kissed her before everything had spiraled out of control.

"Y/n, we need to talk. Please."

She couldn't focus, not here, not anywhere. And no matter how hard she tried to push it all aside, the truth gnawed at her insides.

Her phone buzzed again right when she was about to put it inside her bag. She looked once more, sure and hopeful it was Jungkook, only to come across an unknown number.

"If you want answers, come to 12th and Michigan. The bar's called 'The Blue Rose.'. I'll be there at eight"

She frowned, sitting up straighter. No name, no explanation, just an address and a promise of answers. Everything about it screamed "danger," but she was too deep in this mess to ignore it. If there was a chance it could lead her to more information about her brother... Well, she couldn't let it pass. And she was far too upset with Jungkook to even think of telling him.

Fine, she thought.

—Jacks, we'll have to leave that drink for another day —she let her friend know, when she walked behind her to head to one of the offices at the back.

—Better plans?

—Not better, but something came up —he let her know—. I'll make up to you.

Minutes passed lower once she was looking forward to leaving the office, almost causing her to lose her patience until the time of the meeting finally got closer enough.

The bar was dimly lit, with the scent of stale beer and the low hum of conversation filling the air. Y/n stepped inside cautiously, scanning the room for anything that seemed out of place, until her eyes landed on a young woman sitting alone at a corner table. The woman looked up at her and gave a small, hesitant wave.

—You sent the text? —Y/n frowned, walking over to her.

The woman nodded, motioning for her to sit down. Up close, Y/n could see that her eyes were red, as if she'd been crying recently, but her posture remained composed.

—You already know my name —she let her know—, but I'll say it anyway. I'm Elia. I was Noah's girlfriend.

Y/n's breathing was blocked by the knot in her throat as she looked at the woman in front of her, looking around for any sign that let her know that was all an act.

—Will you sit? Or will you keep looking around for ghosts?

Y/n's lips were pressed tight against each other as she sat in front of Elia, before she gestured towards the waiter to ask for the same drink she was having.

—Noah talked a lot about you —she finally said—. He talked a lot about your family, but especially about you.

Her heart skipped a bit just about the idea of her brother speaking highly of her, making her smile shyly when she finally got her beer.

—Is your mother still with Mitchell?

—Yeah —she chuckled—. They're so perfect for each other it's scary.

—I'm glad to hear Hannah didn't get in between that —after Y/n dedicated her a confused look, Elia felt forced to explain herself—. Noah told me she fought several times with Mitchell because of how supportive he was about his boxing.

—She's convinced Noah would've given up on it if everyone had told him to stop —she smirked—. No one knew he was doing illegal fights until that night, yet Hannah always managed to blame Mitchell for it.

—Your brother didn't only die because of how brutal the fight was —she murmured.

—I know he had heart issues —Y/n interrupted her before Elia could continue.

—I just want you to know he didn't want to keep it from you. He just... Your mother was happy again, you were almost finishing your degree, and he didn't want anyone to know he was stuck in that dark place still. When he learnt one of the fights caused him... well, he thought of retiring. But as much as he wanted to, he needed to pay for the treatment, and he could only do it if he kept boxing.

Y/n's eyes started watering as she started hearing more of the story, feeling forced to look away to hide the fact of how much that story impacted her. It'd have been so different if she had been able to read through her brother's actions and attitudes, if she hadn't been so centered in herself... she probably would've noticed something was wrong. And... maybe... Noah would still be alive, because she for sure wouldn't have let him get on that ring.

—Why are you telling me this now?

—I know what you've been doing these past few months —Elia admitted, glancing around before leaning closer—. And, let's say I've been helping you. I was the source of the source of your source, I dropped the leads for you to follow, I was the one who sent the bag...

—Why didn't you just come to come directly?

—I had to stay in the background. I really thought of meeting you and introducing myself —Elia confessed, her gaze dropping to the table—. But I didn't know how. After he died, everything got so messy. And... I didn't know who to trust. Not even you, at first. I wanted to see what you'd do with the information.

—You thought I was going to go to the police and relate you to all that shit?

—More like sending me to Alessandro and Elijah.

Y/n stared at her, processing the weight of Elia's words. Her brother had kept this part of his life hidden from everyone, and now this woman -that stranger- was sitting in front of her, having helped her navigate an investigation she barely had control over.

—I still don't understand —Y/n said slowly—. Why now?

—It just felt right to let you know —she shrugged— And I'm sure Noah would've wanted me to meet you sooner rather than later.

The silence between them was tense, heavy with unsaid things. Y/n leaned back, trying to wrap her head around it all.

—How did you know about me, first of all? —Y/n questioned.

—Jason told me you wouldn't give up on knowing about your brother's death, so I decided to step in before things got serious for you.

—How nice of Jason to air out my business —she mumbled between her teeth—. Well, good news for you, you don't need to keep giving me breadcrumbs on what happened to my brother, because I already know. Jungkook was the one behind the fight, so that's all I needed to know.

Y/n blinked, confused at Elia's attitude when she just chuckled at her answer, taking a sip of her beer. Her brother's girlfriend didn't blame her for acting that way, or assuming things she didn't quite know. To be fair, it was surprising how much of Noah she could see right in front of her eyes while looking at her.

—I kept guiding you to Jungkook because Jungkook had the information, not because I wanted you to catch him lying. You think it's that simple? —she tilted her head— Jungkook just agreed on Noah going there, but everyone knew he had no say in what happened. First of all, his gym was in such a poor state that he'd have needed to send anyone they asked just to get the money they offered. Second of all, once Rossi had his eye on someone, he wouldn't stop until getting them. He wanted Jungkook, but he was injured, and he barely stepped in the gym during that time, so the next target was Noah. Ever heard of the line of 21?

Y/n had heard of that before, but she didn't quite know what it was about, because her focus was on so many things at the same time, that she forgot about those small details.

Slowly, she shook her head.

—Noah, Jungkook and another boxer were part of it, although Noah didn't tell me much about him. Bets went crazy whenever their names were on those polls. The title is simple, they all were twenty one when they all trained in the same gym. Noah was a beast, bloodthirsty even. And Jungkook was the closest to a death machine. So what could you get when you put them together? He almost killed Noah that night, but he stopped, despite Noah getting up time and time again. Jungkook stepped back for a long while after that, he was only limited to training. I know he switched gyms... And I wish Noah had done the same —she sighed—. Your brother looked for somewhere to train when the gym he trained in went bankrupt after Jungkook left and after the other boxer suffered a coma. Noah needed the money, he even fought in fights that weren't arranged, so when Elijah reached out for him for that fight... He didn't even ask Jungkook before accepting —Elia's lips twisted when remembering the news.

Y/n's thumbs kept fidgeting over the table, making some sense out of all the times she wondered why Jungkook was so adamant on not letting his trainees fight for him. Now she understood why.

—The only thing I can blame Jungkook for is how he didn't show up to check on how he was. He didn't show his face, not even once —Elia's voice cracked—. But the real people, the ones putting needy people in danger, are still out there living life as if they weren't behind all of these crimes.

Y/n exhaled slowly, her mind swirling with everything Elia had just revealed. The answers felt closer now, but so did the danger. And now, she had to figure out how Jungkook fit into all of this -and what she was going to do next.

The bar was dimly lit, with neon lights flickering over the weathered wood, and the low hum of chatter surrounded the place. Jungkook sat slumped at the bar, one hand loosely holding a whiskey glass, his third one in less than an hour. Across from him, Jimin watched with mild concern, his beer untouched as Jungkook swirled his drink and sighed.

—She hates me —Jungkook muttered, rubbing a hand over his face—. She found the file, the one on her brother. The minute she saw it... I could see the way she looked at me change. I didn't even have time to think of an explanation before she found it.

—What explanation? —Jimin frowned, leaning back in his seat— You should've told her as soon as you found out, but I bet you acted like nothing happened —with Jungkook's click of tongue, he knew he was right—. Did you try to explain yourself after she found out?

—No —Jungkook answered, his voice bitter—. I didn't get the chance. She just stormed out, and now... now she's avoiding me at every damn turn. I've been so used to not having to give any explanations, that I fucked it up at the first need of giving one —he mumbled, taking the last sip before emptying his glass.

—Maybe she just needs time —Jimin gave him a sympathetic look—. It's like a bomb being dropped on her, Jungkook. She's gonna need time to process that, especially with how much this affects her.

—I don't know —Jungkook shook his head, laughing dryly—. It's more than that. This thing... I bet she thinks I just kept it in the dark because I wanted to keep fucking her, but it's more than that. I kept it in the dark because I was so fucking scared of losing her, that I didn't realize my silence would only push her further.

—It's nice to see you're human —Jimin tried to cheer him up—. Trust me, she needs time.

—You have no idea how stubborn she is —Jungkook's lips twisted, before he turned to a waiter to ask for another round—. Once something gets in her head...

—Sounds like someone I know —Jimin took a sip of his beer, raising an eyebrow.

Jungkook shot him a glare, but Jimin just chuckled. The alcohol was starting to hit Jungkook hard now, loosening his tongue in ways it never would have otherwise. His voice was more slurred than before, his thoughts spilling out.

—She was so perfect for me. Too perfect to be true. And I messed it all up —Jungkook muttered, frustration boiling to the surface—. I can't stand knowing it was all my fault. I can't blame anyone else —he ran a hand through his head, moving his bangs back—. Her looks keep hunting me, every time I think of her, and I hate myself for putting her through that. It was hard enough when I knew that guy was critical, but after learning I guided him to his death. Fuck, I killed her brother. How is she going to ever forgive that?

—Jungkook, you were just getting started, you weren't in a good condition after retiring. And you know you had no say in that boy's decision once Elijah contacted him.

—I could've tried to stop him if I had cared.

—No, you wouldn't have gotten anything —Jimin insisted—. We all know you're in those fights, Y/n's brother is no exception. If he needed the money, nothing you could've said or done would've stopped him. If you hadn't agreed, he would've gone to a different gym and fought in their name.

During those few minutes of silence, Jungkook's leg shook constantly under the table while he tried to think of everything that happened during that time, only coming up with blurry memories that made him wonder... How many people did he send to those fights without looking into those cases, before he chose to fight himself?

—Those big names are the only ones to blame, and should be the only ones to pay —Jimin muttered—. They're the only ones who should suffer being hunted by their consciences, but I bet they're more than calm rolling over their fresh cash.

Jimin was right. Gym owners were to blame, he still had no excuse by the way he barely glanced at Noah's history, but Alessandro Rossi took advantage of those people's needs to get more and more money. Not only Noah would've probably fought either way, but Jungkook would've probably found his establishment ripped to shreds by the next morning.

That was how they worked.

If there was a way he could redeem himself, it was definitely exposing all of them.

—Hey, hey —Jimin tried to stop him after Jungkook downed his drink in one go.

The glass slammed down on the table, the loud thunk punctuating his next words:

—I'm gonna fix it all. Somehow. This shit will keep going if we keep going after the wrong people. You're right, those big names are the ones that need to pay —Jimin tilted his head, confused at how that was linking to his statement on fixing the issue—. I'll get them at their own game.

—What are you thinking? —Jimin narrowed his eyes.

Jungkook's lips curled into a half-smile, his mind racing with an idea that was both dangerous and reckless, but something that might just work.

—Rossi —he said slowly, letting his name hang in the air for a few seconds—. I was invited to the Union Stockyards.

Jimin remembered that and how surprised he was at Jungkook declined the chance of finally setting himself in a better position, although it made sense for him when his friend mentioned Y/n, and how he didn't want her to worry.

The best fighters went there. The first time Jungkook was invited it was before he retired, keeping it low, and sticking himself to small fights, until he was once again offered with that chance. Not only the money was important, but also the possibility of catching a talent scout's eye was the biggest it'd ever be for him.

But Jimin knew Jungkook wasn't considering participating because of the money or the promise of a better future. And, deep inside, Jungkook knew he wasn't doing it to expose Rossi. He was doing it for Y/n, because he wanted to give her what she wanted and he wanted to prove he wasn't on the wrong side of the story anymore.

—You're not thinking of...

—I am —he cut in, voice resolute—. I'm gonna participate. Only inside I'll be able to look close enough. Top level fighters get to coddle up with those big names you said. And after I get that evidence, I'll snoop to the police and get their asses.

Jimin looked at him like he was crazy, and maybe he was.

—Look, I know you're a good boxer, but those fighters are brutal —he tried to make him think twice—. Shit, this could backfire in so many ways...

—I've been in worse fights —he shrugged, the alcohol making him more confident than he should be.

—But is it really worth it? —Jimin frowned, leaning forward— Doing all of this, putting yourself on the line... just for her and an argument that could be done by next week?

Yes.

—It's not just about her.

He clearly lied. If it hadn't been about her, he most definitely wouldn't have been aware of all his mistakes.

Jungkook's smile faded, and for a moment, he was quiet. He glanced down at his empty glass before speaking again, his voice softer, more raw.

—It's about finding justice. It's about Noah, it's about me... It's about rich people using poverty to come up with new entertainment for them.

For the first time, Jimin smiled at hearing such a crazy idea. His smirk was wide and deep, ready to get on board with whatever Jungkook was planning to do.

—Sounds like you'll have some training to do until the weekend.

Jungkook nodded, though he wasn't entirely sure if he was ready for what was coming. But one thing was certain: if this fight could give Y/n the breakthrough she needed, he'd step into that ring without hesitation.

Taglist: @jk97bam @ttanniett

[goldenboywrites]

run boy run

The flames from their fire licked at Beckett’s skin. The smoke was heavy in his lungs as he breathed in and out slowly. It had been two weeks since he had been reunited with a small portion of his guard, and they had been hiding in the wilderness ever since. It had been a long six months, and Beckett was half tempted to reach out and touch the flames just to confirm that he was alive. There were fleeting moments where he wasn’t sure - convinced he had died after his brother killed their father, framed Beckett for it, sold him to a hostile neighboring country, and told everyone he had murdered Beckett as a way to avenge their fallen father. 

He hadn’t because Conrad’s bravery was an illusion he gave to the people. He hadn’t even come to place Beckett in chains and drag him out of his quarters. He sent others to do his dirty work. He hadn’t even dared to kill Beckett because he knew that any fight between them wouldn’t rule in his favor; it would be the last mistake his brother ever made. 

From what he was told after he was dragged from the castle and transported by carriage to Keblon, Elias, Beckett’s right hand and more of a brother to him than his actual brother, he had already been suspecting Conrad of foul play. He cozied up to Conrad, proclaimed his loyalty, and waited for him out the details. Conrad did not outright tell Elias, but he said enough that he could connect the dots. Eventually, Elias and a few others who could be trusted turned on Conrad and traveled to Keblon to break out Beckett, their true king. 

“You should eat.” Elias joins Beckett around the fire, shoving a tin plate of roasted venison under his nose. Beckett takes it without thought but doesn’t eat any. Food these days tastes like ash. “Before you head to the temple.” The temple of Selunio. At first, Beckett had refused to entertain altering their journey to include a stop there, but he was no match for Elias’ stubbornness. The temple of Selunio is where it is prophesied that a King from Beckett’s family line shall approach the altar to receive a gift, but only in dire times. When experiencing hardships, his father traveled to his temple for prayer, where he had his grandfather and the Kings from their line. It didn’t make sense for Beckett to risk going to the temple. His brother, by now, must have received word he had broken out of Keblon, and this was the first place he would look for Beckett. But Elias felt it was worth the risk. 

At one point, Beckett loved this prophecy. His ancestors had built the temple and maintained it for decades. He had never been but listened intently to his father’s descriptions of the place. Throughout his childhood, it had been a symbol of protection, history, and guidance. But after all he had been through, Beckett no longer believed in a state of grace. If he were to take back his throne, it would be done by his own hands. 

“Eat,” Elias said with a huff. Well, who was Beckett to disappoint his people? 

___________________________________

The temple of Selunio was far grander than Beckett had ever imagined, and he had imagined this place a lot growing up. Pillars carved with gold inlay reached the ceiling. Statues of the Kings before him guided him as he walked to the altar. To the far right, outside of the temple, there was a natural spring with clear water flowing from a waterfall. His footsteps were the only sound besides the water as he walked across the marble. Only Kings were allowed to enter this sacred temple, so he left Elias and the rest of his men a few miles away. 

Beckett approached the altar quickly, withdrawing his dagger from the strap on his thigh. “Hear me,” He said out loud, his words echoing through the temple. “I am of the Savoy line, the rightful king of Adria. Hear me as I have been called to this temple in my most dire need. I request guidance to return the rightful king to the throne. Take my offering,” He sliced the dagger across the palm of his hand, holding it as blood dripped into a pearl bowl on the center of the altar. “And grant me the gift to take my destiny back.” 

He waited until the throbbing in his hand was too painful to ignore. Beckett sighed and wiped the blood off his pants. He wasn’t ready to return to his men empty-handed. He could only imagine the look of disappointment on their faces. We are going to lose. It had been an ever present thought in his mind. One that made him want to give up the throne entirely. I don’t have it in me to lead them anymore. I’ve lost too much of myself. Maybe the gods weren’t listening because Beckett wasn’t cut out for the throne. Maybe it was always supposed to turn in his brother’s favor. 

Maybe he just wasn’t cut out for all of it. 

Beckett sniffled, wiping under his eyes with the back of his hand. He made his way over to the water, tugging off his boots and dipping his feet in. The water was warm and soothing and felt good against his tired bones. He dipped his bleeding hand in next, watching as the red spread throughout the water. He didn’t want to return to his men like this. Elias knew him well enough to see through any mask, and Beckett had difficulty keeping himself from showing his genuine emotions. He felt hopeless, lost, and unworthy of his men’s loyalty and love. “Please,” He begged, tilting his back and looking up at the sky,  “Gods, please help me.”

@magiclwritings

[rustedbread]

Your fake moral high ground is built on fragile pillars of lies. Those pillars will one day collapse along with your tainted world views and siblings will be free to love each other as they please. Until that day comes try to shield yourself behind your hatred of others as much as you like, it only proves us stronger and tougher.

No my moral high ground is built upon the fact that siblings aren't meant to be in romantic relationships which is like, a big thing in society and it shouldn't be disregarded bro plus the moral high ground you're insulting me for is like an actual high ground I have over you due to the fact inc*st is wrong if you're going to be like "oh well?? prove it!!" It is just wrong, I know I'm not going to convince you but it is wrong on every level I shouldn't have to prove to you that inc*st isn't good, and if I do you really shouldn't be on my page or near me in general Like, bro bro have you never seen or had a healthy sibling relationship? that that's not meant to be romantic people can love their siblings but you are advocating for biologically and non-biologically related siblings to be in romantic relationships which is wrong I can't understate at all how wrong it is because honestly, it baffles me you don't understand that fact maybe you don't understand the fact that I am an older brother who cares about his younger sisters a fuck ton and the mere insinuation that it would ever be okay for someone like me to be in just ew I'm not even going to type it out that's how disgusting it is to me jeez if you thought this would change my morality, you are so wrong simply stating that my morals are ground upon fragile pillars of lies ain't going to work because I do have the moral highground wanna know why? It's because I'm the one on the right here the moral highground I'm standing on is one I didn't have to build, it's a pure monument of us, built long over time a monument structure humanity has made throughout all the time we've been alive and you say that is a pillar made of lies? frankly I think that is a disrespect to humanity itself get away from me.

[bitacrytic]

DISCLAIMER: I am not an eunseom/tanya shipper. i think they shouldn't have kissed. i think they should have existed for two more seconds in each other's presence before they made their entire relationship romantic.

-

However, I am more sympathetic to that ship than whatever could happen between her and saya or yangcha becuase:

Saya is NEVER going to happen. Ever since the day he pushed her against the tree and tried to kiss her against her will, tanya has stopped seeing him as some cute extension of his brother. she can barely stand to be in the same room as him. the only reason she's working with him is because she's made her own assumptions of what the prophecy means and thinks that working with saya will somehow save eunseom. nothing more. they haven't grown closer in ten years. they've grown apart. they're drawn to each other under the umbrella of "people who want to get rid of tagon" and that's it. besides, considering how much saya made it obvious that he wanted to conquer her somehow in season one, i wouldn't want them to be together. not to mention the fact that if she hadn't drawn boundaries with that emotionally stunted man, he'd have been taking her for granted and treated her way worse than he already does.

Yangcha is nice to her and believes in her and wears her bell and protects her and is always by her side. but yangcha is an extension of tagon. he started out that way and even though it's been ten years, tanya obviously hasn't let go of it. she's taken liberties with his trust to see if he'd report her and so far, he hasn't. he's been loyal. she knows that. but she's still a bit distrustful of him. the fact that she resorted to reminding him of all the times he's betrayed tagon tells us this. because she could have convinced him to keep quiet without throwing his loyalty in his face like that. (it wasn't fair and i felt bad for him, but i'm always glad when tanya does something neferious) yangcha is not number one. as much as he has done for her, he really isn't. yeah, it's sad, but she doesn't love him and honestly, she doesn't have to. it's her affection to give and no one is owed affection.

Eunseom has been built up to be PERFECT in tanya's eyes. it's been eleven years since she last saw him and the last time she did, he was trying to save them. in her head, he's still trying. he's wholesome and loving and perfect and can do no wrong. even while eunseom is telling her the horrible things he's done... the horrible things he will do... all tanya is hearing is "if i help him, his hands will remain cleaner." she remembers that loving carefree boy from wahan and she will never believe such a boy could become the man that eunseom actually is. she's built this guy up in her head that she doesn't want to believe he's doing all these things of his own accord. she's lying for his sake. she's protecting him. because she hasn't seen him for over a decade, she's written his backstory and she's sticking with it.

Neither yangcha nor saya stand a chance while eunseom is alive. if he'd died, maybe she would have moved on. but he's been alive. he's been fighting. and now he's returned with more than one mantel.

everyone else might see tanya as a god, but to her, he is two gods.

yangcha and saya will never stand a chance.

[thesilentmedium]

The Aftermath || Jonas & Lil

TIMING: The night after Homemade Panaderia LOCATION: Ballard house PARTIES: @thesilentmedium  & @the-lil-exorcist SUMMARY: Jonas has a break down to Lil after the incident with Metzli CONTENT WARNING: Domestic Abuse TW (Mentions of it cause Jacob Ballard memories)

It had been a rough night for Jonas, the image of the man in his front hall wouldn’t leave his mind. He had gone through several stages of panic, that man’s body was somewhere out there wherever Metzli put it and he may have been the one attacked but his mind was now convinced he was somehow an accomplice to murder. He had rolled around all night trying to console himself that he hadn’t been the one to kill the man and that it had been self defense. Still he worried what might happen if the police found the body. Would Metzli get in trouble? Would he get in trouble? 

Jonas didn’t think he would survive prison, he wasn’t built for such an environment, he didn’t want Metzli in there either though if how they handled the intruders was anything to go off of they would survive just fine. All these thoughts lead back to the image of the man dying and his friend running off. He swore he recognized her face, which was just another factor keeping him awake. 

By the time morning rolled around Jonas had dark bags under his eyes and he shuffled down the stairs, a very worried Blue right behind him. He paused when he saw the figure making coffee in the kitchen and couldn’t help the tears from flowing as he waddled over and hugged his twin. The tears were a mix of relief and dread at the sight of his twin. Words that were normally just a tad off sounding now became near incomprehensible as he spoke, “A man died in our house last night, I was trying to teach someone to make bread and then he broke in and the person I was teaching stabbed him and I do not know what to do Lil-” 

—-----

Lil had been out most of the night, dealing with ghosts and leads, as she tried to keep the growing fear of losing family and not being able to do much. Yawning, she had stumbled into the house around three am going to take a nap before it was time to start the next day. It wasn’t sustainable, but well Lil could live in most scenarios for at least a bit. 

She hadn’t expected Jonas to be up, but she could hear him moving around as she made a pot of coffee - the one thing that she could do without burning down the house- after she had carefully fed Auggie. Really it had been a pretty peaceful time. 

Until she felt Jonas hug her hard. The type of hug that was a ‘I’m glad you're alive’ and not a normal Jonas hug. It caused her to freeze for a second, immediately trying to hear her dad screaming -. Turning around to see him there was a bit in her stomach as she realized that he was crying. “Hey -it’s okay breathe,” Lil signed as  Jonas tried to speak, his voice slurred and panicked. 

It took her a moment to realize what he was saying, and she froze for a moment before starting to look over Jonas to see if she was missing something. He was supposed to be baking with someone last night, dealing with an intruder. “Jonas what happened? Here let's sit down,” she signed before tugging at her brother to get him to the living room, trying to quell the growing anxiety of what he was talking about. 

Was he trying to confess to murder? Lil didn’t know, but she wasn't going to be her main concern either. “Breathe in and out. One step at a time.” 

______

Blue let out a soft whine as Lil led her boy over to the couch. She made a point of keeping herself in between him and the front hallway, trying to obscure his view so the already panicking man didn’t break down even more. Jonas was sniffling and rubbing at his eyes as he tried to focus on what Lil was signing. Once he was settled facing away from the scene of the crime, Blue laid her head in his lap. If he didn’t need his hands to fully communicate, they would have been digging into her fur. 

“I had someone over to bake, they wanted to learn how to make sweet bread, but before we could finish some of those people that had been following us all over town broke into the house. They tried to throw salt at Blue but our guest was faster and they killed one of the intruders. The other ran off.”  Jonas was signing quickly trying to get everything out but it was far more understandable than his speech. 

“I do not know where the body of the man is. But Lil I just stood by and let them kill him. I did not stop them when they cleaned up either. What if the cops come asking questions?” Jonas didn’t know if calling the cops in that situation would have been for the better or worse. Metzli might have ended up in jail or he would have. If he had been alone it could have very well been him dead on the floor and not the stranger which was just another point of panic to add on. “Whoever is following us knows Blue is not a normal dog.”  It felt like his main line of defense was being stripped away by this knowledge. 

—----

Lil usually would be clinical in high stressed situations like this. Although she was never cold really, most of the time she was able to be objective, but she couldn’t help the shake in her hands as she watched Jonas speak, wanting so badly to stop him and just pull him into a hug. She couldn’t though, she needed to know what had happened and what she was going to have to do.  

On some level, Lil understood bad things happened to good people, but the anger didn’t leave her body anyway. Making sure to breathe Lil signed, “Okay. Someone broke in, tried to hurt Blue and your friend stopped them.” She tried to be calm, but there was a fury that someone had tried to hurt her brother. As soon as he told her they had tried to throw salt at Blue she knew immediately that it wasn’t a misunderstanding. They were targeting her brother. 

Someone was trying to kill her brother, and Lil was furious. Still, she had to be calm now. She needed to be reassuring and hell she needed to be more like June. Reaching over Blue for a moment she put her hand on his shoulder before taking it off  and signing, “You shouldn’t have stopped them, Basil. Whoever did this wanted to hurt you and your friend protected you. I know it’s scary, but think of it like if it happened to me instead. It was right.” At the thought that Jonas didn’t know where the body was buried Lil shook her head. “If the cops come by, tell them you don’t know and you didn’t hear anything. I doubt that they’ll come and if they do I’ll talk to them. You don’t have to talk to them. - Look at me buddy.” 

She paused before continuing making sure Jonas could see what she said, “ I know it’s hard, but that man was going to hurt you and Blue. Your friend stepped in and stopped him. They were a hero, and you needed protecting.  I’m sorry I wasn’t here.” The last bit was hesitant, guilty as she realized that Jonas could have been alone. 

Someone could have hurt him and she wouldn’t have known. A pain of fear and dread hit her stomach before anything else. She could live with someone hurting her, hell she did, but the idea of Jonas being alone and hurt broke something.  Lil  didn’t realize she was crying now until she wiped at her face in frustration before signing, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry you went through that, but you did the right thing. I love you, and I know it's hard. I’m sorry.” 

____ 

The right thing. He did the right thing. Jonas tried to let that sink in to calm his worries, focusing on Lil’s hands. She was right if it had been Lil in this situation he would have thought the same thing. He could also agree that Metzli was a hero, if they hadn’t been there he probably would have been killed or taken by those who broke into the house. These truths did not make him feel better about it though. 

What was stopping them from coming in and trying on their own again? Jonas was alone most of the time unless he was at work. Lil was too busy trying to find their parents to keep him company every night and the guard their uncle promised was taking longer than expected to show if they showed at all. Whoever was targeting his family could very well have targeted the guard as well. He was making things worse thinking these things and was doing his best to focus on Lil’s hands instead. He did the right thing, he survived. 

Jonas rubbed at his eyes and nodded. “I love you too. It is okay. You are busy doing something important, but Lil why are they after us? What did we do to them? Did they target everyone else too?” He could feel the tears refusing to stop, he was such an easy cryer it was embarrassing. Though he supposed crying over being targeted by strangers was more valid than most of the other times his eyes leaked. “I do not feel safe here Lil.” 

—--

There were a lot of things Lil didn’t know. She didn’t know how to comfort Jonas at the moment, to keep him from crying. She didn’t know where Jane or Jude was - the two siblings that were better able to see the big picture. Most importantly, she didn’t know who had been at the door so ready to hurt her twin. 

Still, she was going to find out. While Jonas seemed to cry, there was a bit of rage that settled into her stomach. Carefully she tried not to let it show instead watching Jonas and breathing slowly and trying not to cry herself. “I don’t know. I don’t know but I promise I’m going to find out. I will.” 

It was the only thing she could do. She couldn’t lie to Jonas and say that she had it under control, because obviously she hadn’t. So instead she just signed back, “I know. I’m sorry. I don’t know why they are doing this but I will figure it out. I’ll get Uncle Charlie to move quicker and stay with you until whoever comes gets here. I won’t leave you alone again.” It would stop her progress, but at the end of the day Jonas was the one she was supposed to protect. 

“Do you want a hug? We can do a movie day. I won’t even make you watch the minions,” Lil signed looking at Jonas. 

___

Jonas always tried to rely on the people he knew, sometimes being deaf just forced you into that position, but with the break ins it was getting harder to have faith in Uncle Charlie and the guard he said would be here. Which was in no way fair to the older man who was trying his best to help his niece and nephew who he hadn’t seen in person for years. It wasn’t Charlie’s job to keep them safe, though being the uncle who was closest to June, perhaps he felt it was. Jonas tried to keep reminding himself that what they were asking of the more experienced exorcist was a lot. They needed someone capable of guarding them on such a short notice of course they would take a moment to get here. He just hoped Lil could get their uncle to come while they waited. 

As soon as a hug was offered Jonas leaned over into it. It was a little awkward given that Blue’s big head was still in his lap, refusing to move despite being now smushed between the twins. He hugged his sister tightly before letting go, “I am sorry you have to do so much.” He felt more like a liability than a help to his sister. She had to go out and look for things while Jonas was taking care of the bakery, even then she helped out there too. Really in the grand scheme of things he was rather pathetic. He always had to have someone else step in to save him and cried at the first sign of being overstressed. He trusted too easily, saw the good in people where there really wasn’t any to offer and god forbid he ever actually punched someone hell he couldn’t even bring himself to curse in frustration despite all the things that had happened. He was a weak man who could barely muster a smile at his sister’s joke. Jacob Had been right to call him a disappointment. 

With his stomach swirling with fear and rediscovered self hatred he finally did manage to nod about the movie. “Okay. Can we watch it upstairs? I do not want to be down here right now.” Jonas pointed over his shoulder, “The man died by our front door.” He was sure the request made him seem even more fragile compared to his sister and her normally calm composure but he wasn’t sure what else to do at that moment. Sitting there thinking about everything was only going to make it worse and in the end help neither of them. He could berate himself all he liked later when his sister wasn’t trying to calm him down. 

—-

Lil wasn’t soft, something that was fairly obvious when she looked at her twin. Whatever kindness and generosity had settled into his soul, she lacked it. Still, she wanted badly to be a comfort to people. Her rough hands weren’t good at holding that though, but even now she could see that Jonas was calming down at least a little as she said that she would figure it out. Maybe she wasn’t gentle or kind, but surely she could make the scary things go away. She needed to, as much for her sake then for Jonas who was sitting there frightened and looking lost. 

For once, Lil had to keep it together, and she was going too. 

She held Jonas tightly for a moment, wishing that she had answers that would make all of this feel better, and knowing that she didn’t. Pulling back only after she felt Jonas stir to move back she shook her head and signed, “It’s fine, Jonas. I’m fine.” She didn’t stop and consider any other option, she had to be okay, and she had to push forward. If she didn’t then  - well. It didn't help to dwell on it. 

“Okay. We can watch upstairs.” Lil signed, nodding with her words looking to Blue for a moment as if she was asking for permission to move Jonas. “Let's have a chill day, and I’ll make sure everything is okay tomorrow. Come on I’ll even get the teddy bears down if you want. We’ve got this. Together. ” With that Lil stood up, offering her hand to Jonas. “I got you.”  

___

Blue looked at Lil who was looking at her and sighed a little but willingly moved off her boy so both her charges could go upstairs. Jonas shuffled awkwardly as he reached for Lil’s hand. The nagging voice of his father was ringing out in the back of his head about how he couldn’t even get off the couch on his own. He grip tightened on Lil’s hand before letting go once he was firmly on his feet again. 

“The teddy bears are already on my bed. I stole some of Jane’s as well.” Jonas did not normally keep stuffed animals by his bed; the two little koalas, Lil and he had been so attached to in their younger years, were sitting on his windowsill to keep them safe from his ever fidgeting hands. But tonight was different. He needed the extra stimulation to keep from falling apart completely. The soft fur gave his hands something to do while his mind worked away at terrible thoughts. If his father were to see him now he surely would get an earful. His father who very well may be dead. 

Jonas told himself not to think of that as he followed Lil around the house repeating the words she had said to himself. They got this, for better or for worse they got this because they were together and as a team they were stronger. They always had been despite Jacob, despite everything that had tried to pull them apart so far. She got him and he got her…. He would do his best not to pull her down with him. 

[lorenzobane]

Alright- finally getting around to the last episode of Picard, and I figure why not liveblog it:

It is still SOOO unclear to me why the fuck the Changelings are even bothering to help the Borg. I guess their conceptual mission (conquer everyone) is pretty similar, but.... that feels like. Not enough.

It is very nostalgic to see everyone on the Enterprise-D, though. I can't deny that. Picard's got me there.

WHY is Jack the command signal? It remains stupid. I genuinely thought the Pah Wraith theory was more interesting than this aiuwhefs;djlk';

I do love the Borg cube's exterior design, though- its so iconic, and seeing it rendered with modern graphics

Awww poor little cook- but also he had to run the deli because his brother "had a hernia"..... sir. You're in the future. Why would that stop anyone from doing anything for longer than like. a day. I think your brother was lying to you.

Okay, I'm gonna be so real- am I the only one who kinda doesn't give a shit about Jack? I get he's there to add some stakes, but I truly don't care at all. Explode him idgaf.

If the idea is to wake Jack up from his evil slumber then why would you not send Beverley....? Who, ya know, raised him?

"And I will make it a threesome" Okay i love you Worf

Okay- like I said, I am not immune to nostalgia, "it's been an honor serving with you all" OKAY, fine Daddy Picard you got me.

Also a lot of long lingering looks between Deanna and Will... Makes me think one of them might not make it out alive

You know it really is so telling how much of the original Borg design, from the ship to the interiors, they kept. Tells you how impressive it was the first time around. It is just so creepy and excellent.

Cool. Picard has magical Borg senses.

Fine fine, the Riker/Picard/Worf scene was sweet. Can you tell that I'm a willing sap for alllll the TNG nostalgia?

LMAO I'm SORRY i actually love the camp excellence of the Borg Queen emerging from the shadows to cackle evilly

Okay HELL yeah for a Seven of Nine "Big Damn Captain" speech

This is just so funny. The Borg queen is so so fucking funny. Why is she so melodramatic. Real Miette energy.

Oh this changeling connection is dumb as hell

Worf's Bat'leth with a built in phaser is COOL okay. Sometimes I am a teenage boy.

I am not immune to TNG theme music

I am also not immune to people who have trusted each other for a lifetime coming together again. Geordi trusting Data's gut.

Ahhhh the classic "all hope is lost" moment, how I love thee

I'm sorry to say it, I really am because its the emotional heart of the story, but I just don't care about Jack

LMAO conflict solved with a hug from dad- Christ the daddy issues on star trek continue to astonish and amaze

Longest "one minute to get out" ever

I'm sorry I'm sorry but once again I'm weak for the old "the strength of their connection saves the day" and I'm a sentimentalist at heart

Kinda obsessed with the idea of Riker just being the type of guy who needs a universe-ending catastrophe every once in a while or they get bored

God Michael Dorn is sooooo good at playing Worf its not even funny. He's just. Worf. I could watch him play this character perfectly for the end of time.

Love it when Starfleet just Starfleets. "Ehh you're reckless and a little insane, but in that good way that sometimes saves the galaxy. here- have a ship and hang out on the frontiers, and don't bother us."

Worf, House of Martok...... My beloved

Poor Deanna, you do deserve a beach vacation

Starfleet history must be BUCK WILD. You tell the story of that time a crew of old people stole a ship from a museum and saved the world. Like. Okay.

NEPOTISM BABY JACK CRUSHER

uaoeisdjokf THIS fucking guy. Okay, now that I know he's lame I like him more

"What could possibly go wrong?" Wow was that a heavy-handed setup. I think I heard something about a TV show and now I feel extra convinced they are either planning one or at one point were.

Everyone being SO NORMAL about Captain starting words is so fucking. okay starfleet really MUST be the nerds of the galaxy.

Okay. I'm gonna be honest I don't think I needed quite so much nostalgia bait at the end. It was nice for like. A second. Especially when it was intercut with the younger characters.

Ending on them playing poker together, la ti da- everyone got a happy ending and in Starfleet heroes are rewarded

Anyway- it was fine. I found the episode kind of underwhelming honestly, but it wasn't horrific. Just kinda. Star trek typical levels of nonsense.

[cosmic-corporation]

AFJAGAJJHA I LOVE THE YAPPING OK (<- avid tag reader) IM EATING THIS LORE UP LIKE A DELICIOUS GOURMET MEAL /ref YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND🔥🔥 ITS SO FUN TO READ!!! CREATIVITY CREATIVITY!!!! (also reading lore just motivates me to do stuff idk why) (ough… platonic marriage /silly)

what about cassian? hehehehe (laying on my bed, on my stomach, reading lore and kicking my feet like a little girl)

- ducky anon

ooh when I catch you ducky, ducky when I catch you-/j

Cassian is... One of the BIGGEST characters I have they live in my brain all the time as we as their partner in crime, Archie ( @gl0wsticko 's character I lob archie am <3)

suicide mention after the 'read more'

That's the newest rendition of Cassian that I've got :]]

and since they're the character I have built the most, I'm gonna section things up a bit!!!

Family

THE WHOLE IRVINE FAMILY IN AGE ORDER SOVANNA - MOM - 59 HANNES - DAD - 57 ATTICUS - OLDEST BROTHER - 36 CASSIAN - MIDDLE BROTHER - 28 CECIL - MIDDLE SISTER - 16-17-18 IONE - YOUNGEST SISTER - 13-14 DOYLE - DOG - 3

Cassian is currently trying to avoid their own family due to their mission. Cecil pursues Cassian, trying to convince them to come back home. Ione has no memories of Cassian, only the stories Cecil and Atticus tell her.

Mission

At a fairly young age, Cassian was taken to a cult and some sort of curse was put upon them. idk how to really explain it, BUT, their mission is to take out any humanoid creature that *isn't* human. (themself INCLUDED!!!) they're a hypocrite SHIT. But, due to this mission they left their family to keep them safe. They moved around constantly trying to avoid enemies they've made and to avoid being found by Cecil. Along this, they found Archie who became their partner in crime. archie uses xe/xim for whoever is wondering. Once Cassian is no longer able to go on with their mission, they are supposed to end their own life due to the hypocricy mostly. They don't remember being cursed, they only know they get strong, painful headaches at the thought of purposfully sparing someone they shouldn't or at the thought of keeping themself alive in the end.

Relationships

Despite having left, their relationship with their family is still decently intact!!! They love and miss their family every day, having a framed family photo always hidden wherever they're staying. Cassian and Cecil were also quite close, with Cassian still sending Cecil letters and voice mails some days. The lanterns and candles on their antlers are from Cecil. see here's where it all goes so fucking KABAMBAM

ARCHIE AND CASSIAN'S RELATIONSHIP!!!!

they're gay for eachother. 100%. no denying it. in so many AUs if things went right they'd be together. The two pine for eachother in secret, but neither confesses. Archie fears rejection and Cassian is scared to love someone, worried about the enemies they've made and mostly worried about xir safety. If Archie were to confess, Cassian would reject xim and initially be cold and harsh, but later come around to apologize to xim for being mean. (THEY ARE THE DEFENITION OF 'Somethin' Stupid' BY FRANK SINATRA KILL ME) But regardless, Cassian would do anything and everything to keep xim safe from harm. their love languages if ur curious; feels loved with acts of service and physical touch, but expresses love with words of affirmation for the most part they're also a cuddly and koala kinda guy.

Fears

They don't have a lot of fears, honestly. They mostly just fear killing their family and Archie, seeing as those are the only people they have left that still care about them. They're also violently insecure about their deer traits (antlers, ears, nose, and tail) :]

Hobbies

They're a BIIIIIIIIIG reader. and word man, so many fancy word,,,, They also enjoy cooking a lot :]

Misc

THEY'RE FUCKING BRITISH !!! They/them but prefers masculine terms like "boyfriend" and stuff like that They have a weighted spider plushie they cuddle with silk pjs, skincare routine, very hygiene oriented. you would not expect them to be a murderer/hj

also here's their playlist :] helps explain personality or wants and stuff.

the family excluding cassian ^

AND THE SPECIAL XE, ARCHIE !!!!!!! <3333 i love archie sm archie cassian all day all night all that's in my brain GET THE TWO OF THEM OUT/j

anyways there's your extra large lore session i love cassian sm <3

ARCHIE IS @gl0wsticko 'S CHARACTER BTW