#broke way as in i spent $0

[h0estar]

i'm totally normal about this!!!!!

i finally got his ass to c6 after two years 😭 it's crazy because this is the first time i got like 4 copies of him in a single patch and only lost the 50/50 once (the first pull). it's even crazier when i think about how i only had 17k primos + i kept pulling when my primos reached 160 💀 insane luck? or was this the God’s way of saying, “Hey, you’ve suffered enough”? anyway, idc. my goal is achieved! aahhh

[atomicami]

special snapshot

tattoo artist!abby anderson x fem!reader

- summary: you decide to tease abby before she meets an important client at her shop by sneaking in a special photograph of yourself. once she finds it during her shift at work, she decides to have a private photo session with you in the bedroom.

- content: smut MDNI, no outbreak/modern au, vegas living, established relationship, a bad australian impression (sorry aussies ily), lots of picture taking, strap usage (r!receiving), possessive dom!abby, submissive headspace (r), abby’s custom strap (if ykyk), abby refers to her strap as her cock, use of nicknames towards reader (angel, princess, sweet girl etc), edging, overuse of the words ‘inked’ and ‘tatted’ bc i can’t think of anything else

- author’s note: the wait is finally over, you asked and i delivered. here is my first tattoo artist!abby one shot! this is the first idea that came to my mind at the time, but i might make more of these if y’all like this one.

if you’re new to my page and haven’t seen my original post about tattoo artist!abby, you can find that here. a lot of references i’ve made in this fic come directly from my hc post.

also, i have a masterlist now so y’all can easily find my fics and see what i’m currently working on :)

- middle pic creds to @abbystanaccount

“Come on, come on…hurry up already…”

You were pacing around the bathroom floor, impatiently waiting as the image below you still appeared white. Your girlfriend was running late for work right now because she’d spent the past 10 minutes endlessly searching throughout her apartment for something that was currently in your possession.

“Babe! I still can’t find it! Are you sure you haven’t seen my camera anywhere?”

Abby’s looked around every single area in her apartment so many times that she’s lost count. Every single area except the four walls that surround you right now. Her Polaroid camera was there, sitting on the bathroom counter in front of you, right next to a photograph that was still waiting to develop.

You grabbed the photograph and began to shake it again before setting it back down. After a couple more attempts, it finally began to develop. You smiled as you picked up the photograph, shaking it one last time for good measure before seeing the fully developed image you took of yourself. The plan you had come up with today was sinister, and you were all in for it.

“Babe! Have you checked for it in my room again?”

Abby’s footsteps were approaching the bedroom, causing you to quickly grab your pants from the floor and put them back on. You then grabbed the photograph and carefully placed it in your back pocket before taking the camera and leaving the en suite bathroom. By the time Abby walked in and saw you, you still had her camera in your hands.

“There it is!” She exclaimed before sighing in relief. “Where was it?”

“You left it by the window over there.” You reply, pointing over to her bedroom window with your free hand.

“Wow, you have a good eye, babe. I never would have guessed it’d be there.” She took the camera from your hands and wrapped her arms around you. This brief moment allowed you to take the developed piece of film out of your back pocket and quickly slide it into the back pocket of her dark wash jeans. Luckily, your girlfriend was too distracted about today to even notice.

“I’ve got this first-time client coming from Australia today to get a tattoo…” She began as she broke her hug from you. “He said he loves my work and wants—“ She cuts herself off as she checks the back of the camera. “Damn it, I’m out of film…” She let out a sigh once she saw the little 0 appearing in white next to the film cartridge compartment. There were no more shots left on her camera.

Well, there was one left…but you already used it.

Abby didn’t think anything of it though. She figured that she used up the last 10 shots between her past clients and her previous photo sessions with you in the bedroom. “I’ll have to pick up some film on my way to the shop, hopefully I’ll get there before my client comes in…” You watched as Abby opened up the back of the camera and took out the empty film cartridge before tossing it out and closing the compartment. She looked up and smiled at you, quickly rushing in to kiss you. “Thanks again for finding it, babe. I’ll let you know when I’m back from work, yeah?”

You nodded in response, kissing her back. “Of course babe, good luck with the client today!” Abby shot another smile back at you before leaving her room. Once you heard her keys jingle and the front door closing, you let out a breath of relief. If it weren’t for Abby being so distracted by this big client flying over halfway around the world just to get a tattoo done by her, she most definitely would have caught you a lot sooner. But luckily, she took the bait.

Now all you had to do was wait for her to find it.

── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅

Abby hurriedly got out of her car upon arriving at her shop. Once she entered inside, she saw her special client there talking to Nora at reception. She was super relieved to have made it in time.

“There she is!” Nora exclaimed once she saw her. “Speak of the devil, we were just talking about you.”

Abby raised an eyebrow at her as she approached the reception area. “All good things, I hope?” she said jokingly before looking over to her client. “I’m Abby, you must be Nathan?” she asked, extending a hand for him to shake it. “I hope I didn’t keep you waiting for too long.”

Nathan shook his head in response as he shook her hand. “It’s no worries mate, I just got in a few minutes ago.”

“Sounds good, I can get you started over here.” She brings Nathan over to her station to get himself situated. “I was working on your piece last night and came up with a few options for you to choose from.” Abby sets her things down at her desk while turning over to him and pulling her phone out of her pocket. Her back pocket. The same pocket that you slipped the photograph in less than an hour ago.

But what Abby didn’t notice was that the photograph had slipped out of her back pocket and onto the ground right behind her.

Abby didn’t notice it, but Nora sure did.

Nora was just passing by to give Abby some transfer paper when she saw the photograph lying face down on the floor. Clutching the transfer paper in her hands, she quickly copped a squat to pick it up. “Abby, you dropped one of your—oh” Nora cut her own words off once she accidentally caught a glimpse of the photo, causing Abby to turn around and face her. “You okay?”

“Yeah, um…I’m guessing this isn’t meant to go on your wall…” She replied as she handed her the photo face down, her voice quiet enough so that her client wouldn’t hear.

The blonde furrowed her brows in confusion when Nora gave her the photo. “Not on my wall? What are you—“ She flipped over the photo to take a look before quickly flipping it face down and hiding it in her palm. Now she understood what Nora meant by that.

It looks like Abby’s camera did have one shot left after all.

Abby was startled when she felt Nathan tap her shoulder, causing her to turn back around. “Everything alright?” he asked, his tone slightly curious.

“Y-Yeah, yeah everything’s fine! Just excuse me for one moment.” She briefly excused herself before speedwalking to the back of the shop and locking herself in the first room she could find. The photograph remained hidden in her palm.

Taking a deep breath, Abby lifted the photograph to take a better look. It was of you, front and center on the camera, wearing that same black skin-tight shirt she saw you in this morning. Despite the quality, Abby could tell you didn’t have a bra on because she could easily see your nipples poking through. Along with that, you were also wearing something else— a matching thong with rhinestones on the waistband. It must’ve been new because Abby had never seen you in that before.

It was taking Abby everything right now to not drop what she was doing and leave to go home and fuck you senseless. Seeing this photograph alone was already causing her boxers to dampen. But she needed to work on this client. She’s been planning on doing this piece on him for months, she can’t back out of this now.

Abby took a deep breath, giving the photograph one last look before putting it back into her pocket and turning around to exit the room. She walks back to her station and sees Nathan patiently waiting for her in the chair.

“Alright, let’s get started shall we?”

── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ──⋅

You don’t hear back from Abby all day.

You figured that it could’ve been because of her special client, along with whoever else shows up to get a tattoo from her. But what really happened was that Abby decided to take the rest of the day off after finishing with her client and was waiting for you to come into her apartment.

You unlocked the door to Abby’s place with the spare key she gave you and entered inside before closing it shut behind you. To your surprise, you see Abby sitting there on the couch. She was manspreading, with one of her tatted arms perched over her knee so she could rest her chin.

“Hey babe, you’re home early…” You set your things down at the counter before walking over to her. “How did it go with the client?”

Abby lifted her head from her hands, looking up in your direction. “The client went great, actually…he loved the piece I tattooed for him.”

“That’s good, um…why are you home so early?”

You felt the need to ask her right off the bat. There was a feeling that you were getting. A sense of knowing that she found the photograph.

“No reason…just felt like taking the rest of the day off.”

You simply nod in response before slowly heading over to her bedroom. And as if you could feel her presence approaching, Abby soon followed behind you, closing the door once the two of you were inside. There was a brief moment of silence before Abby decided to speak up. “Did you think I wouldn’t find it?”

You turned around to face her. She stood there, her tatted sleeves crossed in front of her chest, with a smirk plastered on her freckled face.

She found the photograph. You know she did.

But you still decide to play dumb.

You furrow your brows in confusion. “Find what? What are you talking about?”

“Don’t play silly with me now, princess….” You watched as Abby reached into her back pocket, that same back pocket you slipped the photograph in, and saw her pull it out. The delicate photograph of your body stood in between her inked fingers, fully on display in front of you.

“So much not having any shots left on my camera, right?” She said as she began to slowly step forward in your direction.

“Do you not like it…?” You ask her quietly, quickly looking down once she’s right in front of you. You start to feel like doing this to her wasn’t a good idea after all.

Abby’s expression softens for a brief moment. “Oh, baby…” she lifts your chin up with her free hand before leaning in to plant a kiss on your cheek. “Of course I love it. You look so fucking sexy in this.” She looks back down at the photograph before directing her attention back at you.

“But do you remember the rule I told you about these?” She asks sternly, holding the piece of film in front of you.

You avert your gaze away from her and back to the ground. “Your eyes only…” you mutter out to her.

Abby lifts your chin back up once again to face her. “That’s right, angel. My eyes only.”

She points the photograph towards her and taps the corner gently on her chest, just a few inches above her chest piece in reference to herself.

“Mine. No one else’s.”

She slowly lets go of your chin and looks back down at the small piece of film. “You’re lucky it was only Nora who found it…if it were any of the guys, I would’ve gone insane.” She takes a closer look at the photograph, remembering the new thong you had on in the photo before looking back at you. “Are you wearing it?”

You nod.

Abby hooks an inked finger on the belt loop of your pants and gently tugs on it. “Off, princess. I want to see you just like how I saw you in this picture.”

You follow her command, bringing your hands down to the waistband of your pants and slowly unzipping them before pushing them down your thighs. Once they’re at your feet, you step out of them and take a step towards her. She then slips one of her hands under your shirt until they stop at the hem of your bra, gently tugging it down as well. “This too.”

Reaching underneath your shirt, you quickly unhook your bra, pulling the straps off of your shoulders before taking it out completely and dropping it on the ground. Abby took a step back to take in the sight of you. “My sweet girl…You look so good for me right now..” She muttered quietly. You feel her run her tatted hand through your body, starting at your hip and making its way up to one of your tits.

She looks back at the photograph for a brief moment, noticing you had one of your hands covering that same one. An idea flashed through her mind, you could tell because that same smirk was starting to appear on her face again. Her hand lets go from your breast and drops back to her side. “Don’t move. I’ll be right back.”

Abby leaves her room for a moment before quickly returning, now with her camera in her hands. “How about we recreate that pretty picture of you, hm? Would you like that?” You nod to her in response, biting your lip to hide your smile.

“Words, princess.”

You nod again, a little quicker this time. “Yes, I’d love to do that.”

Abby walks over to you and sets the photograph at the corner of her bed before turning her camera on. Once it was ready, she pointed the camera right in front of you with one hand and used her free hand to gently grab your breast, placing her thumb on top of your hardening nipple. She looked into the viewfinder, adjusting the angle and position before a quick flash went through your eyes.

The photo slowly whirs out of the camera. But Abby doesn’t even bother to check it out yet. Instead, she sets the camera to the side right next to the original photograph of you and begins to undo her jeans. “Kneel for me, princess.”

By instinct, you drop down to your knees in front of her. You already know what’s about to happen next.

As soon as the zipper of her jeans goes down you can already see it. The bulge underneath her black boxers, with a sliver of light tan with black marks peeking out of it. The thought of having that piece of silicone inside you was already making you desperate.

Once Abby’s jeans are pooling at her ankles she brings down her boxers in one swift motion, causing her strap-on to spring free right in front of you. You could already feel your mouth watering at the sight of it alone.

Abby notices your dumbfounded expression and smirks. “Look at you, princess…already drunk just by looking at my inked cock. Do you want it inside you, angel? Is that what you want?”

You look up at her and nod quickly while clenching your thighs at the same time. “Please, Abs…need it so bad….”

“I know you do, my sweet girl…” Her hand comes down to her side and gently holds your jaw, tilting your head up to look at her. “How about you get it wet for me, yeah? Get my cock ready so I can fuck that pretty pussy of yours.”

Without even thinking twice, you wrap your hands around the strap-on, your fingertips covering over some of the fake ink that was plastered on it. The tip of it was practically face-to-face with you. You position it towards your mouth before opening it wide and taking in as much as you can down your throat. The strap barely reaches halfway, so you begin to stroke whatever your mouth can’t reach with your hands while bobbing your head up and down simultaneously.

Abby keeps her gaze fixated on you, then briefly looks over at the camera that is sitting on her bed. She brings a hand down to the back of your head, slowly guiding it up and down her inked strap. “That’s it, princess, just like that…” She mutters out to you as she quickly reaches over to grab her camera off of the bed. In doing so the strap accidentally lunges itself forward down your throat, causing you to gag. You take your mouth off of Abby’s strap for a moment to take a deep breath before looking up at her, now with the camera in her hands again.

“Smile for me, princess.”

The flash of the camera passes through your vision again. Another photo whirs out of the slot.

You get back to sucking on her strap, even harder this time out of pure desperation to have it inside your walls already. Abby pulls the photo out and tosses the camera aside, beginning to quickly shake it to see the final product.

You hear her let out a quiet groan once she sees the fully developed piece of film. “God…you look so beautiful like this, angel…sucking my cock like the good girl you are.” She sets the second photograph aside and gently grabs your head again to pull your mouth off of her strap. Her strong tatted hands then grab at your waist, effortlessly picking you up and placing you down on the center of her bed.

Abby tugs down at the hem of your shirt as an indication for you to take it off. “Take this off, princess. I need to see all of you.” You oblige, taking off your shirt and tossing it to the ground. Abby does the same with her muscle tank and sports bra, exposing the rest of her patchworked body to you. At this point, the arousal in between your legs just keeps growing and growing, along with the urge to also be completely ridden of the little black piece of fabric that was pressed against your pussy right now. You bring a desperate hand down to the jeweled band of your thong to take it off, only for it to be lightly smacked by Abby’s tatted hand.

“Except this. This stays on.”

You nod in response, setting your hands aside, and letting your girlfriend do the rest of the work for you. You spread your legs open while Abby positions herself on top of you. The tip of her inked strap falls right on the damp fabric covering your crotch, causing a whimper to escape from your mouth. She then hooks a finger under the fabric and shifts it to the side, revealing your gushing wet pussy to her.

It takes a minimal amount of effort for Abby to insert the tip of her strap inside of you before pushing in the first couple of inches. “Fuck, princess…look how it's going in…you’re always taking my cock so well…”

You look down to see the piece of inked silicone connecting your bodies. With a desperate need to be filled, you bring a trembling hand down to your pussy and use two fingers to spread your folds open so Abby could keep pushing her strap inside you. Your jaw drops in pleasure as she slowly pushes in a few more inches, and the two of you still don’t take your eyes off of it, both watching as the tattoos on her fake cock slowly disappear as it makes its way into your cunt.

Abby lets out a groan once she bottoms out before tightening the harness on her strap, making sure it's pressed closely against her cunt. You feel your pussy start to clench around the strap as it sits there inside of you. Your body was practically begging for some movement to happen.

“Abby, please…I-I need you to move…” You whimper out to her, looking down at the base of her strap that was resting below your heat. Within seconds you began to feel it moving inside you. Abby starts to thrust in and out of you slowly, but that slow pace progressively turns into a rapid one.

Before you knew it, you were gripping onto the sheets to keep yourself from possibly getting slammed against the headboard, despite Abby’s firm hands holding your hips down. Your tits and thighs were bouncing and jiggling uncontrollably. Moans and whimpers were escaping from the two of you. But most importantly, Abby was hitting that special spot inside you with every single thrust.

She wasn’t stopping her pace at all…until that familiar phrase slipped from your mouth.

“Abby…I-I’m getting close…”

That’s when she stopped. That’s when she pulled her strap out of you. That’s when you snapped back to reality…for now.

You quickly shook your head as you watched her inked strap practically pull itself out of your pussy. “No….no no no no, Abby! Why would you do that?!” You whined out in protest. You let your hands go from the sheets and brought them to her hips, attempting to bring her closer to you so she could slip herself back inside of you.

Unfortunately, your attempt to do so was unsuccessful. Abby shook her head and pushed your hands off of her hips. “I’m sorry angel, but I’m not letting you cum like this. Not after that stunt you pulled today.”

You felt your body break at the possible feeling that you weren’t gonna be able to finish tonight, but you understood that you still needed to be taught a lesson.

“So…You’re not gonna let me cum at all tonight?” You mutter out to her quietly. The smirk that shows up on her face once again tells you something different.

“Oh, my sweet girl…I didn’t say that I wasn’t going to let you cum at all…” She brings a hand to your jaw and gently strokes it with her thumb. “You’re going to cum, but you’ll do it my way. All fours, princess.”

That statement alone had you flipping onto your stomach in an instant. At this point, you were willing to do anything to get a release, even if it meant having to do things her way.

Once you were on all fours, you soon felt Abby’s lips start kissing at your shoulder, slowly making its way down to your lower back. “You have no idea…how good you look for me like this…” she murmurs in between kisses. She plants some more kisses on your lower back, specifically on your tattoo that rests above the band of your thong. Your first tattoo. The one that Abby put onto your body the first day you met her. It gave Abby so much pride to see her work on you, especially in the position you’re in right now.

You feel the weight of the bed shift around for a bit and look over your shoulder to see Abby reaching for her camera again. She brings a hand to your waist to keep your back straight. “I want you to stay just like this, princess, okay?” You nod in response, resting your head on the pillow as you perk your ass farther up in front of her.

With her camera in one hand, Abby uses her other hand to shift your thong to the side again before positioning her inked strap at your tight entrance. Given how soaked you were at this point, it slides in with a lot less effort the second time around. You let out a whimper once she bottoms out, causing you to involuntarily jerk your hips at her.

As a result, Abby gives you a light smack on your ass. “Stay still, angel…I need this one to come out perfect.” She hovers the camera on top of you and looks through the viewfinder, making sure you’re perfectly centered.

You hear the flash behind you once again, followed by the whirring sound right after.

Abby sets the camera aside and places both hands at your hips, beginning to thrust into you at that same slow pace she was doing before. It didn’t take long for Abby to speed it up. Now she was back to hitting your g spot with every single thrust of her strap.

“Fuck…look at you, my sweet girl…taking my tatted cock so well..” She tells you in between her thrusts. “I bet you wish…someone could get a picture of this, hmm?”

The pleasure Abby’s giving you is so intense that you can barely decipher what she’s saying to you. She keeps talking you through it, but her voice slowly starts to fade through the blood pumping in your eardrums and the feeling of TV static filling your brain. You find yourself slowly slipping into a newfound headspace as Abby continues to pound herself into your pussy.

Regardless of how drunk you were feeling from it, you try your best to form a response to whatever she tells you.

“F-Feels s-so good, Abs…D-don’t stop…” you slur out to her.

Your entire body feels heavy right now, but you make an effort to extend one of your hands behind you and hold one of hers. You grasp onto Abby’s hand tightly as she keeps fucking you.

Abby notices and clutches your hand into hers as it remains on your hips. “Don’t worry princess, I got you, just stay with me, yeah? I promise you’ll get to—fuck—“ Abby cuts herself off, moaning at the feeling of the leather harness rubbing against the small barbell that rested above her clit. This motivates her to thrust even faster into you, now with a desire to chase her release.

As her pace gets faster, you start to get closer. Your cunt begins to repeatedly clench itself around her strap, indicating that you were going to cum. You try to tell her that you’re about to cum, but you were already getting so fucked into this headspace that you were struggling to get the words out of your mouth. As a result, you start to dig your fingers into the back of Abby’s hand to get her attention.

Abby felt your nails digging into her hand, which were already forming crescent indents on her inked skin. She looks over at you, seeing your fucked out expression with your mouth agape against the pillow and your eyes rolling to the back of your head. “Are you gonna cum, angel?” she asks, only receiving a slow nod followed by a few desperate gasps from you as a response. “I-fuck, I’m gonna cum too…Just let it out for me, princess, you deserve it.” While keeping one hand on your hips, she brings her free hand around your waist to rub quick circles on your throbbing clit as she continues to fuck you relentlessly.

And that’s what sends you over the edge. A string of whines and mewls escape from your mouth once you get there. You dig your nails deeper into Abby’s hand while your other hand fists the corner of the pillow. Your thighs begin to tremble, and your cunt pulses a few more times around the strap before fully coating it with your slick. Abby finishes right after you with a loud groan, completely cumming inside the harness. She keeps herself inside you for a little bit before slowly pulling out, letting out a quiet grunt at the sight of the string of slick connecting between your pussy and the tip of her strap.

Your body was completely limp at this point, and Abby could tell. She guides your lower half back down onto the bed so you’re lying down on your side. As you bring yourself back to reality, you feel the warmth of her hand stroking your jaw, leading you to slowly blink your eyes open. The first thing you see is her eyes scanning yours, making sure you were okay after your intense release.

“There she is…” she says quietly, smiling right after. “Are you okay, angel? I didn’t go too hard on you did I?”

You slowly shook your head in response, smiling back at her as you try to catch your breath. “Of course not, Abs…you felt amazing…” you pant out to her.

Abby lets out a sigh of relief before leaning in and planting a kiss on your lips before kissing your forehead. “I’m gonna get you cleaned up now, okay?”

You watch as Abby gets off of the bed and takes off her strap before slipping her boxers back on and heading into her bathroom. You hear the sound of the water running in the background, knowing that she was drawing a bath for you right now.

As the water continues to run, Abby jogs out of the bathroom and heads over to the bed to pick up all of the developed photos that were spread out on the sheets. She looks through each one of them before pulling out her wallet and storing them inside. You can’t help but let out a giggle over it. Her wallet was so full of your photos that you could easily see the thickness of it from the side.

Abby looks over to you as she closes her wallet. “What’s so funny?”

“Don’t you think you have too many pictures of me in there?”

She shakes her head in disagreement. “Nonsense. there’s no such thing as too many pictures of you.” You watch her walk over to your side and feel her lips planting another kiss on your cheek.

“Besides…they’re for my eyes only, remember?”

requested tags 🏷️: @tokkismari @onlinelesbo @elliens4 @thepurplebutterflyysblog @kindtim3

2023 © atomicami | all rights reserved. do not copy, modify, or translate any of my works.

[1800kfics]

Bittersweet

pairing: beomgyu x reader

wc: 2.5k

genre: angst + smut :0

It has been 2 months since Beomgyu broke up with you.

You had been passing the time by distracting yourself with your classes and friends. Nothing felt the same without him, though. The blueberry lattes you both would share from your favorite cafe turned bitter, and his side of the bed was always cold.

You hated the way he broke up with you.

He had spent the whole weekend with you acting like he wasn’t going to end things. When he finally did break up with you, he started crying before you did.

His reasoning confused you. He said that he was “too immature” for you and was only weighing you down. He wouldn’t listen to any amount of reassurance from you, he had already convinced himself otherwise.

You tried to put him out of your mind, you really did. But it was hard when he kept texting you. First came the “how are you?” text near midnight 2 days after you broke up. You were crying silently to yourself when your phone lit up, so it was safe to say that you were not happy to see that it was the perpetrator of your tears.

You played along, however. You couldn’t pretend that you didn’t miss him. When he sent you a selfie with the bear plush you had bought him for his last birthday, you hearted the picture.. 

A month ago, he called. You picked up.

He’s called consistently the past 4 Sunday nights. The night he broke up with you. The first time he called, you had half expected him to ask for all the clothes he had left at your apartment back. He didn’t.

It was awkward at first, but became a part of the week you involuntarily looked forward to. You hadn’t just lost a partner when you broke up; you had lost a best friend. Your other best friends would kick you for saying that, but there was something so special about trusting someone with your time, secrets, and body.

Some nights he would ask about your day, listen intently, then tell you about his. Other nights were rougher on your conscience. He would reminisce about your time together, followed by large bouts of silence. It was evident that you both missed each other. These calls made you sad and confused. You’ve tried asking why he broke up with you and if he still misses you, but he continued to say that he didn’t “deserve” to be with you, that he loved you too much to continue to be a burden.

It didn’t matter what kind of night it was, you would always hang up first. His voice would always falter when he bid you farewell. In reality, it terrified him that you might decide one day to not pick up his call - that he might never hear your voice again.

“Goodnight, sweet dreams my love.” He never dropped the pet names, which gave you mixed emotions. On one hand, it tore you apart. On the other hand, you were glad he never stopped.

His texts became more and more blunt the more you opened up again over the phone. When you texted him that the blueberry latte didn’t taste the same anymore, he responded, “I know”.

Last week’s call was interesting to say the least. When he asked you about your day, he wasn’t as responsive as he usually was. When you finished, the other end of the line was silent. “Gyu?” you said softly. “Keep… keep talking” he said breathily. So you told him the nuances of your day like you used to when the two of you were dating.

When you had nothing more to say, you asked him how his day went. He didn’t answer your question.

“Have you slept with anyone since we broke up?” He asks.

You’re silent for a moment. You couldn't bring yourself to be intimate with anyone since you broke up. Your friends tried to get you out there. You tried.

“No.” You confess.

He sighs, seemingly in relief. “Good. I haven’t either.”

Shaky breaths came through the mic. “Gyu? Are you okay?” You ask. Your mind immediately goes to what he could be doing, but you dismiss it. He couldn’t be.

But he was.

Cover blown, he lets out a light moan. “I miss you… so much.” He says with a half whine.

You don’t know how to react to your ex shamelessly touching himself while on the phone with you.

“I miss you too Beomgyu… so much.” You say after a pause.

“Do you really? Say it again for me. Please” He whimpers.

Weirdly, you wanted to let him have this. You enjoyed this.

“I do. I miss coming home to you, miss your embrace, miss you in bed next to me…” You tell him. You weren’t lying.

His breaths get shallower, and his speech labored. “God I need you… can’t do anything without you, f-fuck… nothing without you.” He rambles.

You feel something stir in your core, but you don’t let yourself act on it. This was wrong.

“Wanna hear your voice…” he pleads with you.

You inhale deeply. “I miss the way your breath feels on my skin, the way your tongue feels in my mouth… I miss the way you feel inside of me. I miss the way you make me feel. I miss you.”

With that, he let out a strangled moan, then went quiet.

“Thank you, my love.” He said gently.

“Goodnight, Gyu.” With that, you hung up. Needless to say, you had trouble sleeping that night.

It was Sunday night again, a week after the incident. You had just gotten back from an exhausting dinner with your friends. Almost its entirety was spent lecturing you on how you should cut contact with Beomgyu, how foolish you were for letting him back into your life.

“I don’t know why you respond to his texts, let alone his calls… if he loves and misses you so much, why did he break up with you? I don’t get it. Either way, letting him weasel himself back into the picture is dangerous. You don’t want him back, right?” Your friend advises.

What your friends don’t know is that you do want him back. So desperately. He sends mixed signals - leaving you sad and confused - but that doesn’t mean you love him any less.

His call couldn’t have come any sooner.

“Gyu.” You say rawly.

He says your name back, voice hoarse as if he hadn’t spoken all day. He speaks again.

“I… I miss you.”

You sigh even though you knew he would say something like this. You stay silent.

“Do you miss me too?” He asks apprehensively.

“I… I do. I miss you, Gyu. But listen, we… I can’t keep doing this.” You respond.

After a few heartbeats, he speaks up.

“I know, I know we need to stop. That this is wrong. But… I need to see you. Please. One last time. Come over.”

You’re silent for more than a few heartbeats. You contemplate for a minute. For the sake of self-preservation, your brain was yelling at you to deny his request, hang up on him, and block his number. The ugly truth was that you needed him just as much as he needed you.

“Now?”

He was quick to respond. “Yes, god, any time. I would let you in at any hour of any day”

You look over at the clock. It reads 11:13pm.

“Ok… ok. See you soon.” You think out loud. You hang up and slink out of bed. I’m definitely not telling my friends about this, you think to yourself.

20 minutes pass and you’re approaching his apartment unit. You knock softly, knowing that he was probably waiting nearby the door. He always was like a puppy dog.

As you expected, he opened the door almost immediately. You both were silent for a moment, laying eyes on each other for the first time in 2 months.

He had baggy eyes and puffy lips. He was wearing the plaid pajama pants you got him last Christmas. You’re sure you look like you’re in bad shape, but that doesn’t matter. You’re not here to look pretty for him.

He outstretches his arms to wrap you in them and you walk forward, letting it happen. You stand at his doorway for a moment, holding onto each other. When you pull away, he looks at you in the eye. Suddenly realizing how bad this idea probably was, your eyes dart to the side, breaking contact.

He senses your unease. “Want… want to sit? To talk?” He asks. You shrug. He’s the one who asked you to come over in the first place. He leads you to the couch with a light hand on your back.

When you’re both sitting, it’s silent for a moment. You decide to ask the question you’ve been agonizing over for the past 2 months.

“Why did you break up with me Beomgyu? I know why, but why couldn’t we have worked through it together?”

He stares at his feet as he responds. “I told you. I was a burden to you already, I wasn’t going to burden you with my problems.”

“Gyu, you’re the only one who thinks that. Please stop being so hard on yourself.” You counter. 

“You’re better off without me.” He mumbles. This makes a spark of anger light up inside of you. It’s so ironic considering the fact that he is making it impossible to move on.

“Then why won’t you leave me alone?” You ask, voicing your thoughts and raising your voice slightly, making him raise his head to meet your eyes.

Surprisingly, he responds with equal fervor. “Because I need you! I need you like-like air. I can’t stay away from you.”

“Why are you pushing me away then?” You say, softer this time.

He responds candidly, “I don’t want you to see my shortcomings. I don’t want you around when all I’m going to do is be a loser. You deserve more than that. More than me.” he continues. “But I don't want you to move on, to stop loving me. I’m… I’m fucked up. I’m sorry.”

He has tears welling up in his eyes at this point. The both of you do. Your eyes meet with his and you search them like they hold all of the answers.

Suddenly he leans forward and you let him. His lips ghost yours, noses touching. After what felt like eternity, he pressed his lips against yours tentatively. He swiped your bottom lip with his tongue, asking for entrance. You let him in, letting him explore your mouth.

After a few minutes of teeth clashing and knees bumping, he breaks away and stands up. He extends his hand out to you. Looking up at him, you take it. You would let him lead you anywhere.

You trail behind him to the bedroom. Your thoughts are racing. This is wrong. I missed him so much. We shouldn’t be doing this. I just want to feel his touch again.

He climbed onto the bed, releasing your hand and beckoning you over. He sits in front of you, spreading your legs to get closer to you. Your lips find each other again.

He pulls away from you, begrudgingly so, and backs up enough to grab your pants by the waistline and pull them off of you. He slotted himself between your legs and sunk his head down like he had so many times before.

You can feel his breath against your core as he presses light kisses in the innermost parts of your thighs. He finally starts by pressing his tongue flat against you, licking a strip up to your now throbbing clit. His spit mingles with your juices as he eats you out. Your mind drifts to all the times he ate you out, how he destressed you instantly and turned your bad day on its head. He always knew how to take care of you. His soft grip on the plush of your thighs tightens lightly as you start to squirm around.

Your thoughts melt away as Beomgyu continues to work in between your legs. Your stomach begins leaping with anticipation, and you know you’re getting close. Your hands search for something to hold. One finds the sheets, crumpling up as much of it as you could into your balled fist, and the other reaches down to grab a handful of his hair.

He knows you’re close. Your legs start jolting and you let out breathy moans. He slows down and retreats from your now soaked cunt. He wipes his chin lazily with the sleeve of his shirt, sitting up. He starts tracing circles on your thigh, suddenly acting sheepish. You push yourself up onto your elbows.

“What is it?” You ask, having your high stolen from you just moments ago.

“I want… I want you.” He says quietly.

“You can have me. You can have all of me, Gyu.” You say, letting yourself collapse back onto the bed.

You feel the bed rise then sink again as he takes off his pants. Staring at his ceiling you realize that coming to bed with your ex wasn’t the best idea. It was a lie to say that he didn’t always have you, though. That you ever stopped being his.

With that, Beomgyu climbs up alongside you, encaging your body under his. You had just given him the world. He wastes no time aligning himself with you and slowly sliding in, filling you up with a slight burn.

As he thrust in and out of you, he craned his neck down so his lips could meet yours. Lightly you tasted yourself in his mouth, yet it mattered not because in this moment he was you and you were him.

When his lips weren’t desperately on yours, they were buried into the crook of your neck. “I missed this so fucking much… I missed you” he panted. His voice was muffled yet his words were perfectly clear.

After a bit you could feel your release approaching. Your orgasm that had been pent up for the past two months. You finally reach it, Beomgyu fucking you through your high. Your release was bittersweet.

His thrusts became less coordinated and shallower. He always was vocal, though the whines and whimpers were amplified due to the lack of physical intimacy for the past 2 months.

“God, fuck… feels so good… I hope this feeling is the last thing I feel on Earth.”

As he reaches his release, he presses his forehead against yours, hot breath against your face. Routinely so, as it were. He always did like to be close to you as he came.

He pulled out of you and slumped down at your side. He quickly snaked his arm around your waist and pulled you close to him.

Hazily, he says, “I just want you in my arms tonight. Please. Don’t go. Don’t leave me.”

With that, the two of you fall asleep, him hugging you like if he held you tight enough you wouldn’t leave again.

[on-a-lucky-tide]

HELLO!

Thought of asking you bc I ADORE your writing, the way you write the NikPrice ship is by far my fav, I would've wrote it myself but I love your way of writing more heh.

BUT price, having a nightmare or ptsd attack at night, but not waking nik up nor does he wake up. Prob just stirred a bit. But he doesn't end up telling him, cause hes a big strong boy he doesn't want to show nik how vulnerable he really is. But nik notices how tense he is during the day, which ofc worries him. Que the emotional conversation maybe a cry and long hug :3

If you haven't written something like this anyway! Also ty for the follow made me giggle and die a bit inside from happiness <3

Thank you for this prompt and your fic is below, but! Please write. Write your heart out, bud. No one can write like you do and the world is richer for having your art in it. So please. Write this too. Even if just for yourself.

Price spent three years in a Gulag. That leaves a mark.

cw: PTSD, nightmares, mention of torture, dissociation, depersonalisation, shameless canon blending.

"Prisoner 627, confirm which names on this list are undercover operatives."

"Price, Jonathan, Captain, 9-0-5-1-2-1-0."

A rib cracked. He spat blood onto the table next to the file. The ropes around his wrists tightened.

"Prisoner 627, confirm which names on this list are undercover operatives."

"Price, Jonathan, Captain, 9-0-5-"

He bit through his bottom lip when the fist landed. Someone stepped forward to intervene. You don't break their faces because then they can't talk. Interrogation 101. He coughed. More blood, and they yanked him upright by the hair.

"Svyazat yego."

The chair clattered to the floor as he was pulled from it. The ropes cut only for his hands to be chained above his head. The same knife sliced his shirt off, the rags falling around his shoulders. Metal tools rattled to his left, the embers from the nearby fire stirred by an iron.

"Last chance, prisoner 627," his interrogator held the list of names in front of his face. He recognised five of them. He had attended the wedding of one, "confirm which names on this list are undercover operatives."

"Price, Jonathan, Cap--"

His voice broke as pain tore through his back.

Price woke tangled in damp sheets, his body paralysed. The scream couldn't even rip out of his throat because his lungs needed air to make noise. Through sheer force of will, he drew his first shuddering breath, pulling himself back from the precipice.

See: digital clock. 04:30.

Taste: dry mouth. Need a drink.

Feel: hot, no; cold... both? Damp sheets.

Hear: breathing, not mine.

Price sat up slowly, forcing movement through his limbs like he was prying them from manacles. The next breath was easier. Burned less. He dropped his face into his palm and shivered in the cold. Feel: cold, he updated on his mental map.

Breathing, not mine. Price looked over his shoulder to the sleeping face of his lover. Half nuzzled into the pillows, his black hair splashed over crisp white cotton, Nikolai was serene. A small mercy.

All the manuals would tell you about wounded soldiers waking screaming and begging in the night, perhaps wetting themselves in terror at the ghosts haunting the inside of their skull. They warned against storing weapons nearby, of sleeping in the same bed as your loved ones in case you lashed out. There was a laundry list of suggested therapies and interventions too.

Sometimes, Price wished he woke screaming, because at least then he would know he was alive. His throat and lungs would burn as he roared, his hands would flail and he would be left panting, raw, but fighting. Alive. Now, in the numb silence, he wasn't sure.

He touched his cold wrist with cold fingers and just felt... cold. Like an absence of something. Prisoner 627. No name, no identity; a nothingness stored in a castle with hundreds of other voids where people should have been. Everything human about them stolen away until just the cold and the pain remained.

Price stumbled from the bed, his legs barely working as he groped his way out of his bedroom. He had to sleep with the doors open these days, even on base. Even if it was just a crack, a sliver, he still needed to be able to lift his head and see an escape. A beyond the little box room of his quarters. Not imprisoned, not restrained.

His feet registered the change from carpet to tile as he navigated his way down the hall to his flat's little kitchenette. Lit by the full moon streaming in through the balcony door, Price managed to fill the kettle and set it to boil.

There was a small blue light inside - one of those modern glass varieties that showed all the bloody limescale on the inside - and it illuminated Price's face against the black laminate of the back splash behind the hob. Price stared at the phantom image, blue and featureless, and saw nothing of himself.

He remembered being rescued, watching the castle fall to the joint task force attacking it, but when you spent three years bleeding in a place, did all of you really ever get to leave? When they spent those three years chipping away at you, breaking parts off, what was left to bring back at all?

As he stared at the ghostly blue outline of his own face, he felt a disconnect. A hollowness where that familiarity with self should be. Lost in the cold and the dark. Prisoner 627.

The kettle clicked loudly in the silence and he startled. His heart beat hard against his rib cage, felt like a distant echo, and he drew another deep sigh. Numb fingers pawed at the cupboards and he found his Liverpool FC mug, the one his sister had got him for his birthday while he'd still been in training at Sandhurst. There was a chip missing out the rim, dark stains and scrapes in the ceramic at the bottom that would never wash out; evidence of hundreds of cups drunk, a small shard of a life lived. An anchor to himself.

As he poured the water over the tea bag and dumped four teaspoons of sugar in, Price fluttered his fingers through the steam, rubbing his thumb through the dampness it left on the tips and letting the sensation crackle through his nerves. He drew another breath and muttered, "Price, Jonathan, Captain..." Prisoner 627.

He cupped both hands around the mug and carried it slowly, stumbling, towards the balcony window. The sky wasn't quite dark anymore, but a fuzzy, ashen grey. His eyes turned east. And he waited.

Waited...

Unmoving. Frozen in place. Like the cold had taken root and turned him to stone. The only things that kept him anchored were the cooling mug of tea clasped between two hands and the yellow light bleeding over the rooftops of the Clydeside.

The sun chased the dark away across the sky, bleeding an ombre of fire into the midnight black. With the sun came the heat. He couldn't feel it though. One hand left the mug, alive with warmth, and played in the dust motes illuminated by the morning light. They whirled around his fingers in white spirals, untouchable light.

He turned the key in the balcony doors and staggered outside, thrusting his arm into the dappled orange light passing through his neighbours fluttering laundry. "Price, Jonathan, Captain, 9-0-" he leaned over, and--

"John!"

Nikolai's hand wrapped his elbow, pure, scorching heat and strength, and it knocked the breath from Price's lungs. He nearly dropped his mug, but Nik caught that too, scooping beneath it as he drew Price to him in a bear hug.

His ear fell against Nik's chest, listening to his heart thundering on the inside. Ba-dm-ba-dm. Price's hand lifted and buried itself in dark chest hair, feeling it run between his fingers, soft, warm. The sensation rolled through him, cracking away the ice, and he turned his face into it with a shivering gasp.

Alive.

I'm alive.

The mug clattered on the glass surface of the little balcony table they had smoked at only the night before, Price lost in his thoughts while Nikolai had watched him pensively from the other chair. Both big hands now free, one stroked up his back to grasp his neck, and he shuddered again.

Nik looked terrified, his usually calm eyes blown wide, glistening. "You nearly fell," Nik said, so softly, and yet so clear. So real. Price touched his lips, relaxing into his hold.

"Was fine, Nik. Just got a bit carried away with the sunrise."

Nik glanced at the rooftops, his brows knitted together. "It is... pretty, but better viewed from inside, hm?"

"Yeah, s'pretty chilly out here, ain't it?"

Nik hesitated before he let go and Price missed the warmth of his arms immediately. He followed inside, let Nik pull him onto the sofa and drag one of the big fleece blankets over them. The heat of his body as it closed around Price's burned with intensity and a stuttering gasp broke out of his throat. Nik only held him tighter.

Every moment he laid there, wrapped in the bed warm scent, a piece of Jonathan Price thawed. From the tips of his toes to the cheek pressed to Nik's chest, warmth and feeling returned, bringing with it a sense of reality and connection to the world. To himself.

"Why were you on the balcony, John?" Nik asked. Price got a sense that he was afraid of the answer, and wasn't entirely convinced he would be given the truth anyway.

"In Petrovpavlosk, my cell faced east," Price said. "Would watch the sun rise every morning. It was like... No matter what they did, no matter what they broke away, if I could feel the sun on my skin, then I was still alive. Still me. Not just a dead man walkin'."

Nik sighed, burying his face in Price's hair for a few deep breaths. "You thought you were there again?"

"Dunno if I ever really left, Nik."

They held each other in silence as the light continued to creep into the flat, illuminating the empty bottles of beer they had left on the coffee table to clear up. "I sensed these past weeks you have been struggling, I know the anniversary of your escape is soon, and I feared you were..."

"That I was gonna throw myself off an' give Beryl a fright."

"John, do not joke about these things..."

"'m sorry, I... I wasn't gonna do it, Nik. Swear to you. I..." he struggled upright a little and Nik let him go reluctantly, "I struggle in the cold. The winter is... I dunno... it's like the cold makes me think I'm still there. That I never got out. That this," he glanced around the flat, his voice cracking as he spoke, "is just some dream my mind made up to escape to. I... I didn't know whether I was real, whether I was me... or... I didn't... Nik, I didn't know whether I was even alive, I..."

Nik's fingernails raked through his beard and he leaned into it. Felt them graze gently over the soft skin beneath his ear, and then into his hairline to draw him down. He yielded to the kiss, mouth opening desperately to let Nik in; he pawed at Nik's chest, stealing stuttering gasps as their tongues worked together.

He didn't notice the tears until he pulled back and one dripped from his chin to Nik's chest. "You are here, solnyshko. Right here, with me," Nik whispered. "Captain Jonathan Price, serial number 9-0-5-1-2-1-0," Nik took the hand on his chest and placed a kiss to the knuckles, "Bravo Six, you are home."

Price crumpled into Nik's arms and his shoulders shuddered as he sobbed. No longer mute, no longer cold, no longer frozen out of his own fucking body, the raw pain of it sunk its claws in, overwhelming and savage.

Nik's hands stroked down Price's back to the burn scars at the base; an uneven, mottled pattern that stretched over his right hip. The sensation was sporadic, some sensitive, some numb, but the muscles underneath still seized with pain. Nik placed his warm palm over them, chasing away the last shadow of Petrovpavlosk hanging over him.

As the morning ticked over and the rest of the block woke up, Nik dragged Price back to the kitchen and pushed a pan into his hands. He stood behind him, huge body looming as a bulwark, chin on Price's head, hands caressing his belly and chest, as the eggs cooked.

Home, Price's mind offered weakly, battered and bruised from its fight with the cold. Home.

[stupidlovergirl]

Affection Points, +100!

Kabedoning them! Feat. Lucifer, Mammon, Leviathan, Satan, Asmodeus, Beelzebub, Belphegor

Dev Notes: I love this trope so much, and wanted to write one myself. I am cringe but I am free.

Lucifer became your victim while you two were walking past each other in the House of Lamentation. You called his name and as he turned around, you slammed your hands, successfully trapping him between you and the hallway. He looks at you and scowls.

“What is this about, little human” he says, glaring down. You just smile, and press a kiss to his lips. His eyes widen for a brief moment, before he returns it. He manages to flip you two, where you were against the wall before you knew what was happening.

He pins smirks down at you, eyes predatory.

“If that’s all, then I must take my leave. It would be best for you to come when I call you later tonight, though” He tells you, and then walks off like nothing happened.

You - 0 Lucifer - 1.

You and Mammon were walking down the hallways of RAD as he prattled on about the new scheme he had. It wasn’t like you didn’t want to listen, but your headache was really making you irritable. Finally, you just had enough.

 “Mammon,” is all you say as you approach him, pushing him towards the wall, pinning him to it.

“I love you, but please, pipe down” you tell him. Before kissing him on the lips. You walked off to your class, leaving a sputtering demon who was processing all that happened in such a small amount of time. You had already made it to the end of the hallway before you heard him yell out “You can’t do that human!” 

You smiled and went on your way

Leviathan was a tricky one to catch. You knew you couldn’t do it in public, unless you wanted him to blue screen. So, after a gaming session with him, you chance was given when he stood up to grab a drink. 

“What do you want?” he asks, turning to his mini fridge, “I have energy drinks, water, and-”

You swiftly stood up, and pinned him to the wall beside it. “ I just want you,” you said with a smirk.

You watched his brain actively short circuit and yelp. His face was completely red, and he couldn’t help but cover his face.

“You- you can’t just do that!” He cries out, and it makes you smirk wider. Pulling his hand down, you get closer. “I can do whatever I want, sweetheart” you coo, and then pressed a kiss to his lips. You pulled away after a little, and heard a thud, seeing the boy on the ground.

“Levi? Are you alive?” you ask, worried you might have overdone it

“Rebooting” is all he can strangle out, curling onto himself.

Oops, you definitely broke him.

Satan is easy to catch, but you gotta mentally prepare yourself. He’s smooth, and will easily turn this on you. So when you spot him in the library, back turned and reaching for a book, you take a chance. You go behind him, and place your hands on the bookshelf behind him. He turns, with barely enough room. 

“Hey” you say simply, smiling at him, “Come here often?” Satan chuckles at your antics, deciding to play along with whatever silly game you're playing.

“I do, actually. Why do you ask?”

“Cause I wanted to check you out.” You say with a wink, and kiss him. He smiles in the kiss, returning it quickly. You spent the rest of the day reading the book he was grabbing, but you were more focused on him.

Asmodeus had dragged you to one of his modeling gigs. It was fun at the beginning, but it was taking so long, and you 're getting bored of waiting for it to be done. They had decided to take a break, let him walk around. He came to see you, and dragged you to the snack table. You listened to him tell you about the brand, and how he liked the way they made the pieces from this collection. He kept talking, then you got a bright idea. You got in front of him, walking him to the wall behind him. When his back bumped it, your arms shot up, caging him in.

“Oh! You’re so forward!!” He squealed, smiling at you, “What do you plan on doing? I hope you don’t eat me” he tells you in a flirty tone, a wink following soon after. You just laugh at his antics, pressing a fleeting kiss to his lips.

“Don’t want to mess up your makeup, do we?” you say, backing off from him. He pouts at this, rolling his eyes. 

“You tease! I’ll get you for that later” is all he says with a smile.

Yup, prepare yourself for Asmo’s barrage of affections after the shoot.

Beelzebub is quite the tall guy, so good luck. You decided to do it on the way back from one of his Fangol practices. He was munching down on a snack you had brought him, while you were telling him about your day. Once you see him finish his snack, you decide to set your plan in action, grab him by the hand and lead him into an alley, and “push” him against the wall of a building. He just looks down at you, curious.

“What are you doing?” he asks, tilting his head like a puppy. 

“Looking at the prettiest boy in the world” you reply, trying not to giggle.

“Oh.” 

You stood there for a second more. Then, pulled him down for a kiss. He easily complied with your actions, and as your lips met, you could feel his hands on your waist. When you pulled away, Beel was beaming at you.

“I wouldn’t mind doing that again” 

You laugh, and go in for another kiss.

Belphegor is hard to catch standing some days, so that is a difficulty all on its own. On a lucky chance, you catch him on his way to your room. He was about to open the door when you caught him. You swiftly close the door, and slam your arms by his shoulders as he turns.

“What are you doing” he asks boredly, a yawn escaping

“Wondering why you are trying to enter my room when I’m not there”

He rolls his eyes in response, “To sleep” he responds simply

“I don’t think I allowed that”

“I don’t care,” he responds.

“Well, you’ll care now” you say, faking an angry voice. Then, you pull him down for a kiss, a surprised noise escaping him. He returned it lazily, not making any moves to make it more than a simple kiss. While he was dazed, you slipped into your room.

You heard him grumble when he realized you ran off. You chuckled quietly when he walks in complaining about your actions.

[unlimitedlust]

Good Girl Gone Bad (Javier Peña x Reader)

A/N: Heyyy, another Javier Peña thristy fanfiction for you!!! Now heads up for initial details I noted people appreciate:

Word count: 4.3K

Disclaimers: it’s a female Reader x Javier story, +18 (very explicit scenes ahead guys) 🌶️🔥👄💦, unprotected p in v, tinges of sub Javi and breeding kink!!!

When you see this “-0-”, I recommend you to put “Ride or Die, Pt. 2” by Sevdaliza, Villano Antillano and Tokischa for ambiance purpose!!!

Please let me know if you enjoyed it, likes and reblogs are very much appreciated and also encourage me to keep writing (if you like my writing ofc 😅)

Enough said: Enjoy your reading!!!

Javier seized the burning sensation from the freshly brewed coffee down his throat as he took a big gulp from his mug, as if the bitter liquid was going to turn off his mind from all the work he had to do for at least a few seconds. His eyes scanned the big piles of files around him, the full ashtray almost falling off the front border of his table and next to the telephone he’d left off the receiver on purpose.

DEA staff ran up and down their office talking on the phone, receiving and printing new information from loud fax machines, typewriters keys clicking annoyingly loud, both English and Spanish being spoken all the time. For an ordinary person who wasn’t used to such a busy dynamic it was a maddening environment itself, not to mention the main part of their job, which was chasing after narcos.

Javier knew all their faces and names, but he was under such stress he just didn’t care to engage in any kind of small talk conversations with his coworkers anymore, and day after day he understood the wallflower that sat in the farthest corner of the office, just doing her job like a horse on a winker.

He knew she worked there for a while now, but all the knowledge he had about her was her name and that she was a great investigator. She was so quiet the only times he’d heard her voice was when someone greeted her and she greeted them back. At first Javier thought she was a weirdo, but now not only he admired her invisibility and discretion, but also understood why she wanted to be left in peace in a corner just doing her job.

The fact that she was a beautiful woman didn’t go unnoticed by him of course, even without ever seeing her smile, but she kept herself shut to any contact with anyone in that place he just didn’t dare to bother the peace she seemed to hold and he envied so much.

Sadly his position in the DEA didn’t allow him to have that luxury, after all, he was The Javier Peña.

Hours flew by and by the time Javier broke his attention away from the files in front of him, he realized it was dark outside and he was alone in the building again.

He knew he still had endless work to do for the day, but he’d had enough, his head would explode if he spent another night in that office, he needed to leave and blow off some steam.

“Fuck this shit”

-0-

Grabbing his car keys, Javier left the empty DEA office and drove mindlessly around the city looking for the first place that would grab his attention enough to drag him inside.

Tonight he wasn’t looking for a hooker to spend a few hours by his side, if he wanted that he’d just head home and call one of his contacts and get it over with.

He wanted something different, something cheerful and with heavy drinks, he desperately needed to forget his job and all the shit he had to deal with everyday just for a few hours.

A club with big pink neon lights adorning its name caught his attention as he parked his vehicle on the side of the street, the loud reggaeton beats coming from the inside drawing him in as he made his way to the entrance.

Just as he stepped inside he was swallowed by a sea of sweaty and drunken people dancing, twerking, grinding on each other, hands all over the place, allowing the sensual and captivating beat to take over their bodies and desires.

It was perfect for what Javier needed at that moment.

He made his way through the crowd to one of the bars, checking out a few asses on his way there, feeling more comfortable and confident as he received some flirtatious glances in his direction.

With an ice cold beer in hand he checked out the dance floor in front of him once again, but this time a woman in a dark pink skin tight dress caught his attention. He hadn’t seen her face yet as she had her back turned in his direction, but the way she swayed her hips and how that tantalizingly short dress hugged her body in all the right places made his mouth water at the sight. He couldn’t help but wonder how she would look like moving like that on his dick, riding him in a reverse cowgirl position with that juicy ass and bouncy hips. The thought alone made his jeans feel tighter on himself.

Javier took a larger gulp of his beer as he got ready to approach her, ready to use all of his charm and unfailing game with women in hopes to be the one to take her home tonight.

But as soon as she turned in his direction, his jaw dropped when he realized the woman he was lusting on was the wallflower from the DEA, the one that no one knew nothing about other than her name and the info on her files, held a naughty smile on her face as she danced in the most provocative way possible, dragging not only Javier’s but many other men’s attention, and she knew it, she meant it.

Every now and then men tried to approach her to dance with her and maybe get a little taste, but she ditched them all gracefully. She didn’t want them. She wanted to feel desired and lusted on, but for her the real fun was in taking the candy out of their mouths, which was drawing them in like a mermaid, to then ditch them off like nothing.

The new discovery only encouraged Javier to take his shot with her. He was well aware that working with her could be both a leverage or a weakness, and there was only way he could find out.

She hadn’t seen him yet, the dim and colorful flickering lights over her didn’t allow her to see faces clearly from a certain distance, so he used that to watch her, waiting for the perfect window to go after her.

And just as she left the dance floor to the bar at the other side of the club the window was open.

“Good girl only during business hours?” Javier purred in her right ear just as she rested her forearms on the counter.

He didn’t miss the way his low voice caused goosebumps on her skin, the thin hairs on her arms standing immediately as he got by her side on the counter, waiting for her answer as she displayed a sly smirk on her plush lips.

“What makes you think I’m not a good girl full time?” She batted her eyelashes, a challenging glimmer in her orbs as her eyes traveled from his brown ones to his mouth, watching him lick his lips for a second as he seemed to get lost in his sinful thoughts for a moment.

Taking him off guard, she rested her right hand on his chest and slid her index finger over the first sets of buttons of his cream shirt, opening the them skillfully in a swift motion, revelaving part of his tanned and smooth chest, the light touch of her fingertip being enough to make his heart race.

“I like you better that way” The playful smirk never leaving her lips “Charming”

“Charming enough to buy you a drink?”

“I like shots better”

Javier was now by her side, right elbow propped on the counter as he signaled the bartender for two shots of tequila. He put two shot glasses in front of them along with a salt cellar and served them a small plate with pieces of lime, producing the bottle containing the golden liquid for last.

“Leave the bottle” He demanded just as the bartender finished filling the glasses.

They put salt on their hands, licked it and downed their first shot, the section of lime coming right after to soothe the bitter oaky punch, the alcohol instantly warming up their bodies.

“How did you find me here?” She asked, running her thumb in the corner of her lips to clean off the excess of lime juice.

“Are you upset about that, cariño?”

He faked a pout.

“Well…” She paused, pretending to be thinking deeply about the answer “I’m actually glad you found me”

“Is that so? Mind telling me why?”

“If you play my cards right, might as well show you” She teased him, pouring them another round of tequila.

“Then teach me how to play them”

They took their second round of tequila, but this time their eyes never broke their contact, a silent dispute of power between them, hunters hunting one another, testing each other to see how far their teasing would go, who would lose the battle and give in first.

Javier was both amused and tempted.

Amused because he still couldn’t believe that in front of him, challenging him, was the shy reserved woman from the DEA, claws out and ready to attack.

Tempted because she was the temptation herself. But Javier was a competitive man and he wasn’t going down without a fight.

“Do you dance, Mr. Peña?”

“Javi” He corrected “You’ll have to find out by yourself”

“I’ll take my chances”

She winked and handed him another shot, both of them sinking it fast, the spicy-woody liquid didn’t even burn their throats anymore as their bodies already felt like in flames, not only from the alcohol, but also from the heated exchange between them as every second, every word, every glance felt like electric shocks, like adding fuel to the fire.

Javier waited for her to give the next move as she sized him up, the smug look on her face making clear she had nothing but bad intentions in her mind, and oh boy how he wanted to get into her trouble.

“Come on”

She hooked her index finger in one of his pant’s belt loops and pulled him, the sudden move making Javier jolt forward, his body halting less than an inch away from hers, a dangerously short distance separating them as she watched amused his surprised reaction over her small stunt.

Colorful lights beamed over them as they were now in the middle of the dance floor, a loud song with heavily provocative beats and lyrics guiding their bodies, her arms resting loosely around his neck and one of his hands keeping her close by the end of her back as they danced together, their hips moving in sync, up close, almost intimate, but never brushing against each other, one of his legs strategically positioned between hers as they swayed sensually.

She slid one of her hands down his chest seductively, but this time, he was the one in control.

The hand on her back slid to her waist and spun her around, his hands now keeping her in place and practically locked against his body by her lower belly and waist, her ass now rolling irresistibly close to his crotch.

Javier loved how her skin reacted to the way he manhandled her, goosebumps all over as she bit her bottom lip and threw her head back, leaning against his shoulder as she let herself get lost in her own lustful thoughts for a moment, the suggestive lyrics only adding to her imagination.

Taking advantage of her exposed neck, Javier got intoxicated by her smell, the jasmine and warm notes of cocoa overpowered his senses as his lips traced the sensitive skin towards her ear, the light touch of his lips along with his mustache intensifying the goosebumps she still hadn’t recovered from yet.

“Am I up to your expectations?” He whispered in her ear, his lips moving just above her lobe. His teasing affected her more than she’d like to admit.

They lost track of the time they spent dancing together, teasingly of course, but also having a great time singing, laughing and smiling at each other.

Javier, who'd never seen her smile before that night, couldn’t take his eyes off her lips every time they curved upwards, revealing not only her beautiful lined teeth, but also the dimples on her glowing cheeks, lighting up her already cheerful face.

And again he caught himself admiring her, as they were now outside of the club. Javier stood leaning his back on his truck’s passenger door while she stood on his opposite side, leaning herself on the wall behind her.

A comfortable silence hung between them as he lit up a cigarette and she drank the last bottle of beer she got on their way out. Javier inhaled the smoke, enjoying the feel of the nicotine kicking in his system as he watched her take a gulp from the bottle, her lips wrapping around it softly as she reciprocated his gaze.

He wondered what her lips felt like, not only against his lips, but all over his body, plump and soft kissing him, caressing him, marking him, sucking him, the thought alone making his pants feel tight once again.

The sound of her heels clicking on the pavement took him out of his reverie as he now realized she was coming to him, slow and steady steps. She left the half empty bottle on his truck’s roof behind his head and then took the cigarette from his hands, bringing it to her own lips as she held it between her manicured nails.

And just as she leant on his vehicle by his side, he took his cue to leave his position and imprison her between his body and the truck, his arms hovering on each side of her head, the smug smile indicating she had him right where she wanted him to be: his body inches away from hers, the muscles on his arms twitching with the force he held onto the truck’s roof ledge, trying not to lose the last bit of restraint he still had.

She puffed the smoke out of her lips towards his, the simple yet enticing gesture making him snap and take the cigarette off her hands in a swift motion, throwing it away just as he crashed his lips against hers.

Their tongues met right away initiating an erotic dance, devouring each other, euphoria rushing through their veins as their teasing had finally reached its goal.

Javier cupped her jaw and pressed his body against hers urgently, the jolt against the truck making the beer bottle fall and shatter on the ground, the loud noise and green glass on the pavement not bothering them at all as she pulled the soft curls on his nape and grazed her teeth against his lower lip.

His big hands slid down her waist behind her and grabbed her ass cheeks, pulling her up and making her wrap her legs around him for support, her short dress rolling up to her hips leaving her almost half naked on the street.

Using the leverage he had with the position, Javier ground his raging erection trapped inside his jeans against her core, covered only by already drenched black lace panties, earning a strangled whimper from her.

Part of him wanted to just pull her panties aside and take her right there on the street against his truck, raw and rough. But the other part wanted to take his time with her, after all it would be a shame to just resume the last few hours of teasing in just a few minutes. And also, he didn’t know if he’d had another shot with her after they got back to their professional facades.

“Are we getting inside your truck or you want to give our audience explicit content?” She tilted her head, indicating the group of people next to the club’s door, a few curious eyes lingering, waiting for their next step “Either way I’m in”

“You’re mine only, at least for tonight” His teeth dug on the soft flesh of her neck as he fished the car keys in his back pocket “But as long as I can fuck you I’m into anything you want, bonita”

Javier put her down and opened the truck’s back door, revealing the brown leather cushion dimly illuminated by the street lights.

He let her in first and watched with hungry eyes the way she crawled inside the vehicle and then rolled her body upwards, resting her back on the other door only to then slide her panties down and off her legs, spreading them open in a seductive way, offering herself to Javier, who hurriedly got inside the truck and closed the door behind him.

He pulled her by her ankle and hovered over her, his gaze connecting deeply to hers as he fished the panties she’d dropped on the car floor and put them in his back pocket, the simple yet unexpected action arousing her even more.

Javier’s hand made its way to her nape, bringing her head up for a breathtaking and passionate kiss, their hungry tongues invading and exploring each other's mouth as her fingers slid down the buttons of his shirt, undoing them without breaking their kiss.

As they devoured each other frantically, her hands explored his broad chest and abs, enjoying the feeling of his soft golden skin under her digits and the way his muscles flexed with the thrusting movements he made every now and then, purposely grinding his clothed erection against her exposed core.

Their kiss got sloppy as Javier’s hand found its way down her body, feeling her soft breasts, the curve of her hips then down the smooth skin of her thigh and leg, hooking it on his back before his hand slid up her body again but this time, skipping no beat towards her intimacy.

Javier growled when he finally felt how wet she really was for him, her arousal coating his fingers sliding up and down her pussy in feather-like touches just to tease her.

Whimpering, she rolled her eyes and clawed his back under his shirt when he increased the pressure with his digits and traced tight circles against her needy clit, her whole body melting under him as it got overpowered by shameless waves of pleasure.

Drinking in her sexed expression, Javier slid a finger inside her wanting a bigger dose of satisfaction out of the intoxicating woman under him. The unexpected invasion of his thick

finger made her moan louder and arch her back against his body, which only encouraged him to add another one right after, stretching her further, her slick pussy clenching around his fingers in response.

She bit his shoulder as he finger fucked her, his fingers massaging the magic spongy spot inside her as his thumb roled lazy circles on her clit, making her nails drag angry scratch marks down his back while her other hand pressed hard on the leather backrest, nails desperately digging in it.

Javier trailed small nips and kisses along her collarbone and neck while his fingers kepting working on her, all of it adding to the building pleasure in her lower stomach, getting her closer and closer to bursting at each expert rub of his rough digits against her clit and g-spot.

But she didn’t want to come yet, much less in that submissive condition.

Fighting against her own urges, she pulled his hand out of her, bringing it to her lips to lick her own juices off his fingers, her dark orbs drawing him in as she sucked his fingers suggestively, swirling her tongue around them.

“Now sit” She commanded, cheeks still red and heart racing from his finger fucking “And take of your shirt”

She didn’t need to ask Javier twice for him to comply, he knew she was close on his fingers, and now he wanted to see and feel what she had in mind.

Just as he took his shirt off and straightened his back against the seat, she straddled him and pulled down the top half of her dress, exposing her breasts, hard perky nipples at his mouth’s level and he couldn’t help but to dive in.

Javier fondled and squeezed them hard with both hands before he took a mouthful of one of them, teeth grazing the hard bundle of nerves, then rolling and sucking in with his flat tongue, and then repeated the same stimulation on the other one, feasting on the soft mounds before him as she unfastened his belt and unbuttoned his jeans.

Catching up with her intentions, Javier lifted his hips from the seat, enough to take both pieces of clothes off, allowing her to undress him completely, all while he still delved into her breasts.

With his thick and hard manhood free, she spread his leaking precum over his tip with her thumb, tantalizing him before she finally took it and held it against her clit, rocking her hips back and forth, arching her back towards the front seat behind her and getting herself off against his shaft, her slick blending with his precum.

Javier broke apart from her chest to gaze down between them, his cock sliding easy against her drenched folds, teasing him shamelessly.

“Condom?” He asked, but only out of politeness.

“No” She leaned in, foreheads touching as she whispered against his lips “I wanna feel all of you”

Her answer got his cock impossibly harder and dying to feel her, and for his luck, she was also getting impatient.

Javier held his breath the moment she stopped her motions right when his tip was lined to her entrance, the thrill of anticipation of finally having her making his heart race faster as his hands flattened on her thighs.

“Tell me what you want” She demanded seductively, teasing his tip pressed against her opening, torturing him with slow rolls of her hips, threatening to slide down on him at any second.

“I want you, cariño” He gasped, chest heaving up and down.

“Yeah? And what do you want me to do with you?” One of her hands cupped his jaw and brought his lips close to hers, close enough to feel his ragged breath against hers.

“Ride me, bonita, I’m yours”

She placed a soft kiss against his lips before she leaned back between the front seats and placed her hand over her mound, fingers spreading her folds apart allowing him to have a full view of where his tip met her pussy, until she finally sank on his cock, her opening slowly welcoming and swallowing him in, his thickness stretching her walls each inch as his name came out of her lips in the sexiest moan he’d ever heard, and he swore that that scene alone was enough to make him cum.

But he needed to last, he needed to feel more of her, see her, have her, every detail in front of and on him, getting him terribly pussy drunk on her at each second as he felt their bodies merging and watched his cock disappear inside of her, her walls tightening around him in a slippery and warm embrace.

He threw his head back and rolled his eyes as she started to ride him at a deeply addictive pace, his fingertips digging in the flesh of her hips, pulling her harder down on him at each thrust forward.

“Eyes on me, Javi” Her command came out as a needy whine as her hand slid down his neck towards his shoulder, the skin slapping sounds getting louder as her bounces got harder.

Javier moved one of his hands to the back of her head, fingers tangling in the roots of her hair as he now thrusted his hips up to meet hers, the new and unexpected angle made her cry out his name again and dig her nails onto his shoulders, looking for an extra leverage.

He hooked his other arm on her lower back keeping her body against his, and the way she melted in his arms only made him keep on, thrusting harder and faster against her while she held onto him for her dear life.

Without disconnecting their bodies, Javier laid her on the backseat, eager to be the one fully in charge, especially because holding his release back was being a lot harder than usual.

One of his hands took support in the car’s windows, which was completely humid and foggy and entrentched with sex as he fucked her hard, her back arching and her walls tightening around him with her climax right around the corner.

She closed her eyes and moaned even louder as he put one of her legs over his shoulder, the new angle allowing him to go even further, deeper and drive her into oblivion in record speed.

“Look at me when I’m fucking you” He demanded, bossy as the Javier Peña she was used to watch on duty, and that was the line for her to feel the knot on her lower belly snap hard, strong waves of white hot pleasure through her veins, making her cum hard and milk his cock looking deeply in his dark eyes.

The mesmerizing scene together with the clenching from her climax on his shaft also made him cum seconds after her, exploding inside her, his hot seed filling her in long spurts, the feeling of his dick throbbing inside her riding her high for a few extra seconds before they collapsed, the hand on the car window leaving a wet trail as it lazily slid down.

She moaned when he finally pulled out, instantly missing him inside her as he carefully took her in his arms and laid next to her, nestling her body against his, both their breathings and heart beats still racing fast.

“We have a problem now” He muttered looking at the car’s ceiling.

“What?” Her answer was low and unconcerned, too fucked out to care about anything at that moment.

“Office hours are gonna be challenging from now on.”

[otomes-world]

Longing

Hello everyone! I had a strange urge to write something, so yes.. AU belongs to @shiny-jr I'm just interpreting. This is also my parody to the five stages of grief. Another sentient twst works are here. Enjoy 0/

Upd: I've finally got permission to post this thing! But.. I forgot about it.. and I'm no longer like it.. and it's so small.. but, yeah, let it exists.

Disbelief.

It was the first emotion that began to creep into consciousness with a light touch from just hearing about the “shutdown.” The player just took a break, was busy, preparing for exams, tests, work, whatever. Causing panic out of nowhere was stupid. This had already happened more than once, but..

The hours merged into days. Days became weeks. Only the most stubborn began to count beyond the month. The mistrust and fear began to be felt stronger than before. More and more often insidious “what ifs” were spinning in head.

You were only gone for a short moment. Maybe a little longer this time, but you would come back. You would, except… Yuu turned into the doll they always were. A puppet whose only value was in you, who controlled it. When there was no point in denying, a storm broke out.

Indignation.

Anticipation caused hearts to experience previously ignored emotions and heads to question. What could be the reason? Could something happen in that inaccessible world? Do you feel the same confusion, unable to connect?

Could you become bored with their existence?

Did you choose them, him, over someone else? What exactly made you hesitate? A beautiful singing voice? Looks that could challenge the Evil Queen? Fame? Wealth? What?

Was the effort really not enough to captivate you, to make you pay attention? Place in your heart the desire to stay. Is it really his fault or is it yours?

Grief.

Bitterness replaced frustration. The one that was ripping chest, made him want to cut his own throat open if it would give any peace of mind. If it would strengthen confidence of your return.

When it seem that the empty vessel was about to break, hope still glimmers at the bottom. When the ear listened to every rumor, rustle, speculation, even if it was false. When the one he least want to see looked at him from the mirror.

When he didn’t want to, and most importantly, couldn’t stop. Gave up. Let every attempt, broken hope plunge him into the abyss of despair much deeper than the last time. Getting back on feet became more and more difficult. Sometimes the thought of acceptance flashed but gaving up the most desired thing was hardly possible. Even if the chances that no one would understand and that everything would burn out were higher every moment.

Longing.

Yearning invariably replaces suffocating pain. Very reluctant, denied by all means.

When there was nothing left in tired beating heart - not a single drop - only memories of the time spent with you through Yuu. Then he still did not understand other people's adoration. He thought that this would bypass him. However, like everyone else, he couldn’t resist the eyes, your eyes and no one else’s, looking at him in a special way. As if in the world of colored pixels he was worth something.

A smile involuntarily plays on his face, although he barely had enough strength to maintain an imitation of life. In moments of overwhelming loss, pride insisted: you were not worth it. You were not worth all the torment, all the tears he shed. You were not worth.. but this was a blatant lie.

When everything around him would merge into one colorless heap, when he himself would cease to exist. The only thought at the last moment would be dedicated to you. Therefore, as soon as the news of the appearance of an impostor who dared to pretend to be you reached the exhausted mind, remained only... rage.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Okay here's one. I really dont think I'm the asshole but my ex sure does.

AITA for refusing to buy my partner a jar of pickles?

So this story has like, a little background and some confounding factors i think but i really could go both ways on whether i was the asshole.

Ill start with both my ex (21nb) and i (23f) had severe mental health issues and were working on treatment when we were together. Theyd been in and out of inpatient stays throughout our three year relationship. Towards the Day of Pickles, i had my first inpatient stay where i got help i desperately needed to keep myself safe. This happened to be about a week after my 23rd birthday, but about two and a half weeks before their 21st birthday.

Anyway, at that time i had just gotten out of the hospital and started a new job at Joanns Fabrics (i outlived that retail fucker and im proud of it). I had been unemployed for the previous year and a half because of the pandemic and so the retail job was really my saving grace to have some sort of income to buy gas and groceries. My parents let me live rent free with them in their basement but i spent a LOT of time essentially squatting at my ex's dorm because my situation with my parents was not great.

Now my ex was also being financially abused by their mom so they had a monthly "allowance" of 200$ (of their own money they made at their on campus job) and no access to their bank statements. So i spent a lot of my own money on gas and groceries for both of us, and anything we wanted to do for fun, like visit the city. Without an income, this was SUPER stressful for me and i spiraled pretty hard with feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness. Supporting two people, even minimal living expenses, on an income of exactly 0$ is the WORST.

Anyway, i got out of the hospital and pretty much immediately went back to picking up as many shifts as i could at work because id been on staff for all of two weeks before hospitalization. Knowing retail, i was probably on the precipice of losing hours or being fired altogether.

My ex wanted me to take time off to celebrate their 21st birthday (they didnt celebrate my birthday that year) and travel to see their family and drink etc. I got scheduled for an inconvenient time. I would have to miss their birthday if i didnt find someone to cover. I managed to switch shifts with another coworker who was nice enough to let me have her morning shift, so i was able to at least travel separately and be a little late to dinner.

The night of their birthday my ex wanted to get drunk and so we went to the liquor store. Now im generally pretty picky about alcohol but if i get anything special i always get enough to share. Mysteriously, no one ever offers to share the expense or pay me back. So with all of 150$ in my account, i purchased enough alcohol for myself and the rest of the party, and a bottle of (cheap af) liquor for myself. I was broke af until my next paycheck and was pretty much planning on giving up meals and staying at home because the commute to work was shorter and meant less gas.

My ex picked out a jar of boozy pickles and asked if i would get it for them for their birthday. I should note that with all the stress i was under i had found a birthday present for them but hadnt actually placed the order (was waiting to get paid). I also didnt lie to them about this and had told them that i hadnt gotten their birthday present yet. They were upset by this and told me they felt like i didnt care about them, to which i snapped and raised my voice a little.

I gave them a bit of a reality check. I told them in no uncertain terms that i was under a lot of stress, from nearly killing myself to being flat broke with little to no help from my family other than a conditional roof over my head, ordering their birthday present wasnt super high on my list of things to do and that i knew what i was going to get them and that i intended to order it as soon as i had the money to do so. After years of the sole attention being focused on keeping them alive, i needed some support and acting like i didnt care completely ignored EVERYTHING i did to keep us both afloat.They cried and played the victim as they tended to do and i was too stressed to do anything but be angry.

So when they asked for the pickles i told them no. I have NOTHING left in my bank account, and anything that was in my account was already allocated for something else.

They told me i was being selfish for buying myself alcohol on THEIR birthday, not even getting them a present, yelling at them, and then refusing to buy the one thing they asked for, especially after i refused to take off work the day before to hang out with them and their family. In front of our friends.

I told them that i was purchasing the alcohol for the whole party, that the present had slipped my mind, and that they were accusing me of not caring about them when i snapped. Then i walked out.

My bff went outside to help me cool down and i told him what was going on and how stressed i was and he said that he agreed with me, it was childish to expect me to pay for everything with no help from anyone and then act like im unreasonable for having to put limits on what i can purchase.

My ex ended up getting so pissed by all of this they broke up with me two days later, saying that their birthday was the final straw for them after I'd been so codependent and relying on them too much to survive.

I think its all ridiculous given all of the stress factors i was dealing with at the time. I feel like we're all entitled to the occasional emotional outburst/bouts of forgetfulness when we're stressed. But my ex seems to think im a selfish asshole. We've been no contact for the last two years so this isnt like a pressing concern or anything but it does make me roll my eyes occasionally.

So tumblr, aita?

(Btw im also much more financially stable now that I'm fully and properly medicated and away from them.)

[skipper1331]

Legacy // Ellen White (platonic)

a/n: based off this request. Sorry, it took me awhile!

The english wonder talent, that‘s how people called you.

-

Ellen woke up due to a weird feeling. Confused and extremely tired, she looked around.

She expected to see your figure laying on your bed but she didn‘t. Nor did it seem like you were in the bathroom.

You weren‘t there.

Where were you?

Rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, she got out of bed, slipping in her slippers as she left the room.

"I hate it here" you cried into the speaker of your phone, a choked sob escaping your throat. "Pick me up" you pleaded, more tears streaming down your face.

Unknown to you, Ellen stood at the door frame, your back turned to her. She didn‘t hear the other persons responses but she heard your desperate crying. "Nobody is talking to me" - and it was true.

Everybody kept their distance. A 16 year old girl in the senior squad? Nah, no way. They didn‘t talk to you if not needed. "They don‘t even call me by my name. I‘m just the wonder kid"

Ellen‘s heart broke because she knew exactly what you meant. Nobody did bother to get to know you, bitchy looks sent your way. "I want to go home.." was the last thing Ellen heard before she disappeared back in your shared room.

The og-lioness felt awful. She knew what it was like to be new in the senior squad, the way everybody seems intimidating and scary and all of the new impressions at once.

That night she made it her mission to get to know you - not the wonder kid. She would take you under her wing.

-

"Good morning" the striker greeted you as you walked out of the bathroom, ready for the day.

"Hey" you replied.

"So ready for breakfast? The pancakes are awesome" she smiled, throwing her arm around your shoulders. You furrowed your brows, nevertheless accepting her friendly act. "I prefer omelet to be honest" you smiled.

You didn‘t know nor realize in that moment that it was the start of a great bond.

-

When it was noticed that Ellen was talking to you about all sorts of things, it didn’t take long for Jill, Lucy and Millie to join your group. Rachel catching up eventually.

While the younger ones still avoided you, the 5 Ogs spent every minute with you.

Each meal, the 6 of you would sit together and share stories.

During partner drills you never had to wait to find someone, the 5 women fighting with whom you should do the drill.

In the end, it was always Ellen.

You enjoyed doing drills with her, working with her helped to develop your technic and playing style and added to that, she was a sweetheart.

„If it feels wrong to shoot - shoot“ she said.

-

"Are you nervous?" Ellen asked as you walked in the changing room, about to face France in a friendly.

Obviously Ellen was in the starting line up while you were a substitute, not even sure if you would get playtime. "Guess so" you replied with a shrug of your shoulders. Truth to be told, you were a nervous and excited wreck. To see your name on the lionesses jersey was something that you dreamt off ever since you were a little girl. It felt surreal, adventurous and satisfying. It was the greatest honor to represent your country.

"You shuffled the whole bus journey with your feet, you‘re nervous. And that‘s okay" the striker told you as she laid her arm around your shoulder in comfort, "It can be intimidating but once you‘re out there, everything just fades away. It‘s just you and the sport you love"

Motherly, she pressed a kiss to the crown of your head before she gave you a little push in the direction of your cubby.

You wanted to cherish the moment forever.

Standing in front of you cubby, you took everything in, how everything was prepared perfectly, how your jersey hung there - your name on the back.

You made it.

your younger-self couldn‘t be prouder.

For the whole match, you stayed on the bench, not that you would complain in any way. You were happy to be here. You felt great and with a 2-0 win, there was nothing that could put you in a bad mood.

"the goat scored once again" you cheered as you ran happily to Ellen, jumping on her back, the woman laughing at your antics. "That was so cool, nutmegging the goalie wow" you rambled on about the banger she scored. It didn‘t matter that is was 'just' a friendly - nothing mattered at all besides the fact that you did it. You were in the squad of the lionesses, preparing for the upcoming events.

It was the last camp before the final squad announcement for the euros.

You were determined to show them that you‘re important to this team.

Thanks to Ellen.

You didn’t care anymore if the young ladies of the squad didn‘t talk to you or interacted with you, all that matters was the fact that you found your home in Ellen White, Millie Bright, Lucy Bronze, Rachel Daly and Jill Scott. It was your little gang.

The moms and their baby.

-

After camp finished, everybody returned to their clubs and you were happy to finally be back home. Ellen called you once a week to make sure you‘re okay and how your week went. She was the mother, you never had. She was caring, loving and kind. Your talks went on for hours as you told her about every detail and every news that occupied your mind.

Ellen was the person you trusted more than anyone, in a short period of time, she made you feel welcomed, appreciated and loved.

As kid you idolized her and now she‘s your friend, your anchor in the sea and fear of reality.

-

Ellen was the first person you called after your call-up for the euros. If you thought your first official senior squad call up felt awesome - the euros call up was nothing compared to it. You felt euphoric and immensely proud. Every possible feeling of happiness flowed through your body, a feeling that was indescribable, indescribably great.

Euros on home soil.

-

Your debut happened against norway - you played brilliantly. You didn‘t score yet your crosses were on point as you assisted two goals. It was fantastic and the fans welcomed you with open arms.

Since then you‘ve been subbed in every game, the super sub as they called you. Nonetheless with the rest of the girls, there wasn‘t much interacting besides with Lotte who was starting to talk to you, daily as she got to know you while you sat next to her on the bench. She‘s such a sweetheart.

-

It wasn‘t until the match against Spain where you earned everybody’s respect, that you weren‘t just the wonder kid, the youngster, the child.

You were Y/N Y/L/N.

As usually, you started on the bench, Lotte next to you. The game was intense, Spain eager to win as they showed it with the opening goal.

England was down by one. Your nerves started to rise as the time went by - 10 minutes left.

You got subbed in in the 81th minute, Ella scoring the equalizer shortly after.

Everything was possible again. Every girl on the pitch was determined to win. There was no way, the English would loose.

When the ball came from Keira, you started to run. No one was trying to defend you, so you took the risk. Already in extra time, there had to happen something. And as no opponent came up to you, you just did it.

„If it feels wrong to shoot - shoot“

Outside the box, you hit the ball with so much force, praying it would go in - it had to. Otherwise the girls would hate you more and England could loose.

"FUCK YESSS" you felt someone jump on you, the stadium erupting in cheers as the rest of the girls huddled around you. And the girl you were, you just stood there, not realizing that you scored probably the winning goal.

After the celebrating calmed down, there was only one thing in mind: defend. Do not let the Spaniards score.

Which the lionesses managed. They won. As the whistle blew, the bench started to run towards you, everybody celebrating you with the banger of a goal you scored.

It was the beginning of something new.

-

The girls became your family. And not just your little gang but everyone of the squad. They joked around, did drills with you and simply enjoyed your company. You weren‘t just the 16 year old anymore. You were much more, a little sister who they must protect.

-

Final.

Wembley.

Germany - England.

You couldn‘t be more nervous.

"We can do this" Ellen whispered as she massaged your shoulders in the changing room, the striker sensing your nervous state.

You turned around, "yeah" you whispered, ready to bring the trophy home.

The atmosphere was unbelievable, the stands were full - many lionesses shirts to see.

As the national anthem started everybody sang their hearts out, this is it - this is England.

The game was intense, physically and mentally. Your hand held Lottes as you hoped for the win, gripping it tightly every now and then, excitement and anxiety floating through your body and mind.

The bench cheered at every opportunity, supporting the team. The same as the stadium did.

At halftime, it was still 0-0.

Sarina held her speech, talking about the weakness of Germany and what the girls could do better and then it was Leah’s turn. She held the speech of her life, encouraging every single one, showing love and passion towards every squad member. Her speech left you weak in your knees, mind on fire, goosebumps over your arms. You couldn’t wish for a better captain. Leah deserved this captaincy, she deserved every recognition she got because of the armband. Leah Williamson was born to be a leader - the best.

As the second half started, you were surprisingly calm, Lotte the one who gripped your hand or thigh to steady herself.

"TOONEY!" you shouted, jumping out of your seat in the 62 minutes as she chipped the ball over the German goalkeeper, Merle Frohms. "Hell, yes!!!!" the whole bench ran to the sidelines, celebrating as the stadium went crazy. Ella and her opening goals will always be your favorite goals. It was incredible.

Germany scored the equalizer.

It was your turn - Ellen got subbed off. As she jogged towards the line, you stood there, your nerves high. A few steps in front of you, she stopped, cupping your cheeks as she looked you in the eyes, "make this retirement game unforgettable" you couldn‘t even react. Retirement game, what? Dumbfounded, you looked at her, the striker kissing your forehead lovingly before she gave you a quick hug and walked towards the bench.

I will, i promise.

You didn‘t - extra time.

You desperately wanted to talk to Ellen but you couldn‘t. In the short break you had, Sarina gave instructions while some girls got their legs massaged.

Germany wanted to score.

England wanted to score.

Who will score?

Back on the pitch, your nerves were on fire. England had to win.

It was hard to say at least. Each mistake could cost you the win, so you did not let mistakes happens.

When Hemp stepped up to take the corner, you felt everything and so much more. It may be the best opportunity you would get - do something about it. As ball came flying in, it went over you. You didn‘t see who it went to, neither did you care. You prayed that it would just go in.

Nothing happened.

Until…

…the ball fell in front of your feet. Just one kick and it would be in. With no time to think, green shirts around you - you just did the thing Ellen always told you to „if it feels wrong to shoot - shoot"

you did.

And that’s when you heard the roars from the stands. The ball went in. Out of your shocked state, you ran - so many emotions filling your body.

You stopped running when you saw Ellen and the rest of girls shouting at the sidelines. Jumping on Ellen, you hugged her like your life depended on it, the team jumping on you, as well. It was a massive group hug - a moment forever to remember.

I promised I‘d make this unforgettable.

-

When the final whistle blew, you crashed down, euphoria rushing through your veins as happy tears streamed down your cheeks.

England had won.

The lionesses were european champions.

You were a european champion.

Everything felt wonderful.

The sun was shining, the fans were cheering, your team was celebrating.

This is it - this is England.

A body laid down next to you. You could tell who is was by the gentle touch that squeezed your hand.

Ellen.

It was a thank you,

I‘m so proud of you,

I’ll never forgot this moment.

So maybe it was the end of her career but it was the start of yours. Her legacy will live in your game, forever and longer.

——————

[ts1m1kas]

Original Ask: For jude! What about a one-shot where he likes a girl playing at real madrid women's team 😶‍🌫️ (anonymous - @abiigaiil1234)

Word Count: 477 words

(author's note: i hope you enjoyed this, my darling !! i actually quite enjoy writing for jude, so keep the requests coming in 🫶)

Jude spent most of his time involved in football. Whether he was training, playing games, or simply watching other teams, his life revolved around the game. But now his love for football had merged with his love for a football player.

Y/N L/N was Real Madrid Women’s star striker. With goal involvements in every game she participated in, there wasn’t a single person who didn’t sing her praises.

Jude had heard of her through their coach, who had recommended the team go to one of her games to study her technique. And ever since that game, Jude had been smitten with her.

Y/N already knew who Jude was. Everyone who knew anything about football knew about Jude Bellingham. Her and her teammates often watched him play in the league games, and she thought he was incredible.

People online often shipped the pair, calling them the starboy and stargirl of Madrid. What they didn’t know about, is how close their pair had gotten behind the scenes.

Real Madrid Women had just collected a 3-0 win against Vålerenga Women, with Y/N bagging a hattrick. She walked off the pitch and into the tunnel to Jude, who was waiting for her.

His face broke into a huge smile as soon as he saw her. He ran over to her and pulled her into his arms, resting his chin on the top of her head. Jude couldn’t be more proud. 

“Well done, beautiful, you played perfectly!”, Jude exclaimed, stepping back to look Y/N in the eyes.

She smiled back at him, her face flushing pink under the intensity of his gaze. 

“Thank you, Jude. I always play better when you’re watching.”

Jude laughed, “You can’t blame that on me. You play well because you’re immensely talented.”

Now it was her turn to laugh, “That always means so much more coming from you.”

Jude pulled her back into another hug, and the pair stayed wrapped around each other for a while longer.

Jude then took a deep breath. 

“There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you, Y/N. I really have to get it off my chest.”

“Okay, Bellingham, hit me with it.”

“I like you. Like, really like you. It’s okay if you don’t feel the same way, I just had to tell you.”

“Jude, you’re either blind, or really stupid.”

Jude was taken aback. “Pardon?”

“I like you too. I have done for pretty much as long as I can remember.”

He breathed a sigh of relief. “Do you want to go get something to eat? I’ll pay this time.”

“Definitely. It can be our first meal as a couple.”

Jude’s eyes widened at her confirmation of a relationship that had been a long time in the making. And for the first time, but not the last, the pair left the stadium hand in hand.

[worseforwords]

Exposed (Ona Batlle x Reader)

Thanks to @footygirl114 for the title idea! Buckle up everyone, this is a long one.

“Heads up!” Ona’s voice called from behind you and you felt her leap onto your back a moment later. Today was a good day. United had just beaten City 2-0 in a home game and you had even managed to score one of the goals. Your girlfriend waved at the supporters as you strolled past the stands, but your gaze drifted towards an unusual figure sitting some way down the row. With black hair tipped in blue, striking make-up, dark and frayed clothes, and a plaited choker around her neck, she seemed out of place in a football crowd. You were intrigued, something about her felt familiar, though she was too far away to say exactly what it was. As you caught yourself staring at her for a little too long, you noticed she was staring right back at you, and as you drew closer, she gave you a wave. You suddenly recognised her, and your smile faded. She must’ve noticed your sudden revelation, as she sent you a quick wink. 

Your stomach dropped and panic set in as you considered what to do. Ona still sat on your back, basking in the glory of victory. You knew you had to go say hi to the girl who was now smiling broadly at you from the stands, but you wanted to do so discreetly, without any teammates, especially Ona, joining in on the conversation, or any cameras for that matter. You let Ona down on her feet, to which she send a quick pout your way, before turning her face back towards the fans to continue the walk around the field. Waiting until everyone was distracted, you hastened to the railing to greet the mysterious girl. 

“Hi” you said, quiet as a whisper. “Hey Y/N, long time no see.” she replied, leaning over the barrier to pull you in for a hug. You smiled uncomfortably, scanning your surroundings before reciprocating her hug. As she pulled away, she chuckled, “So, soccer, huh?” “We call it football here.” you answered, trying to match her laugh.

The conversation was short-lived as Ona wandered over, curious as to who you were speaking to. “Hey, who’s this?” she asked, her attention fully on you. “This is Nia, erm- an old friend.” you answered quickly, avoiding eye contact. “Nia, this is Ona.” Ona looked at you confused for a second, probably expecting some sort of label in your introduction, before she brushed it off and quickly shook Nia’s hand. “Hi, nice to meet you.” “Likewise.”

The small interaction sent shivers down your spine. Until now, you had managed to keep your past safely hidden. You had traveled a lot when you were younger, which had allowed you to leave certain things behind, and it had never caught up to you until this moment. It hadn't been hard, as you just omitted certain parts of your youth, namely the two years you spent in LA as a teenager.

Nia broke the silence, turning to you. “So,” she said, “you do remember my name. I was afraid you’d forgotten about us for a second there, Picky.” You froze. Picky. You hadn’t heard that nickname in ages. You avoided Ona’s questioning expression as you tried to laugh it off. “Of course I remember you. It just took me a second, what with your hair and make-up.” you said, pointing at said attributes. “Fair enough,” Nia giggled, “I’ve probably changed my hair about 40 times since we last met. I’m not the only one who’s changed though.” she continued, eyeing your bright red Manchester United shirt. You laughed, “Yeah, I suppose I have.” “Do you still have the tattoo at least?” Nia asked, causing Ona to look up with surprise.

The tattoo. It was the one and only thing you had left from your previous life, a permanent mark etched onto your skin. You had planned to get it removed at some point, but the laser removal was quite expensive, and since the tattoo wasn’t often visible to others, you never bothered to actually get it done. When you started dating Ona however, you knew she was bound to notice it at some point. When she did, you had momentarily forgotten about it when she started pulling down your underwear (really who could blame you for your mind being elsewhere), and you were taken aback by her immediate questioning about the small violet on your hip with the words “can’t take back the bullet” scribbled underneath it. Luckily you were still quick on your feet and you made something up along the lines of it being a reminder to not let your emotions get the better of you and Ona let it slide after that because she too had other things on her mind.

“Yeah, I still have it.” you said with a shy smile, still avoiding Ona’s gaze. “Good, me too.” Nia said, making Ona turn to her sharply. “By the way, Picky,” she started, changing the subject, “you still owe Casey some money, remember?” This was the final straw for you.  Too much had already been said, and you needed to get away as fast as possible. You took advantage of a group of fans who called out your names to excuse yourself, pulling Ona with you towards them. After signing a few shirts and taking selfies, you hurried inside.

“What was that all about?” Ona asked as she caught up with you. “What was what about?” You stalled, trying to come up with an excuse for your strange behaviour. “Why are you being weird?” she asked directly. “I’m not, just tired from the game, that's all.” you said, unable to come up with anything better as you headed towards the changing room, avoiding eye contact, gaze straight ahead. “Shit,” you muttered as you sat down, “forgot my coat, be right back.” 

As you walked back onto the pitch, you couldn’t resist checking if Nia was still there. To your dismay, you saw her talking to Millie. “Mills!” you yelled, running towards them. “Come with me, now.” You grabbed her wrist, pulling her away from the conversation. “Woah, Y/N, calm down, what’s going on?” she asked, shocked by your sudden intervention. “It’s just that,” you paused to think as your eyes scanned the stands, quickly finding just what you needed. “I saw some little girls over there who want your autograph, and I think they’re about to leave without it,” you said, pointing towards a group of young girls holding up a sign with Millie’s name on it. “Oh, thanks. Maybe next time, don’t be so intense about it?” she chuckled. “Noted.” you said, walking with her towards the excited children. “So, erm, what were you talking about with that girl?” you asked carefully. “Nothing really. I just told her I liked her style, and then you pulled me away. Why?” You scanned her face, trying to see if she was telling the truth. For a moment, you thought you saw a small smirk in the corner of her mouth, but you decided not to dwell on it as it would only arouse suspicion. “Nothing, never mind.”

Ella’s voice resounded through the changing room like a joyful bell. “Woooo, party at mine ladies!” she exclaimed. As she settled beside you, she turned to address you. “You coming, Y/N?” she asked, a friendly grin etched onto her features. “Sure, but I have to pop home for a quick shower, forgot my towel,” you replied, hastily pulling on your joggers and coat. Ona began to offer her towel, but before she could finish her sentence, you had already bolted out of the door. 

As you plopped down on your bed, trying to recover from the events of the day, your mind raced with thoughts and questions. You tried to make up reasons for your strange behaviour earlier, but nothing seemed to make sense. You knew that no one could know about what happened. It would change how they see you, and you couldn’t bear that. Those two years in LA were supposed to stay in LA, and thus far, no one had a single clue about it. Nia suddenly showing up made you terrified that someone would find out, so when she messaged you asking if you wanted to hang out, you ignored her. You couldn’t risk anyone finding out your secret.

You went to the party, hoping to take your mind off things. However, things only got worse. Ona made quick work of pulling you aside to interrogate you about earlier, asking a series of questions that made your heart race. “Can we talk?” she said. “Who is she? Why did she call you Picky? Why do you have matching tattoos? Why were you acting so weird? And who is Casey, and why do you owe them money?” 

You knew that you couldn’t tell her the truth, so you made up some stuff on the spot, hoping that it would be enough to satisfy her curiosity. You told her that Nia was just an old friend from LA that you hadn’t seen in years. You added that she was always a bit of a weirdo and that you weren’t that close. You explained that the matching tattoos were just a silly thing that you and Nia did when you were young and naive and the money thing was just some inside joke. You hoped that Ona would buy your story, but you couldn’t shake the feeling that she was still suspicious.

When Ona finally left you be, you quickly checked your phone, which had been buzzing in your pocket a lot. You’d received a series of messages from Nia, the last one of which being: 

“We need to talk. Where are you??”

As you felt increasingly anxious about Nia’s persistent messages, you decided to leave the party early to meet up with her. You quickly came up with an excuse to your teammates, telling them that you suddenly felt unwell and needed to go home to rest, and you texted Nia your address.

Shortly after arriving home, a knock resounded from your door. Hastily, you answered it and welcomed Nia into your apartment. “You’ve got a lovely place here, very grown-up, Picky,” she remarked as she stepped inside. “Please don’t call me that.” you muttered in response as you finally snapped. “Why not?” Nia asked, looking with a confused expression. Mentally debating how to deliver your message, you began, “I’m not the same person anymore.” “Obviously.” She mumbled. “When I got my chance to make it in the football world, I left my old life in LA behind. The person you knew back then is gone, I am no longer her.” you explained. “I don't believe that,” Nia responded, “you can't simply leave and become a completely different person.” “Well, I did,” you answered coldly, “and I’d like to keep it that way. So, please, don’t talk to my teammates again.” Nia remained silent for a moment as her eyes widened.

“They don’t know about us, do they?” she asked, her voice growing louder. “No, they don’t.” You replied quietly. “Woah, are you ashamed of us?” Nia practically yelled. “Of course I am!” you answered a bit too quickly before immediately regretting it. “Sorry, I mean- I didn’t mean it like that, I-” you stumbled over your words, but Nia continued to stare at you with disbelief. “Alright, got it.” she said as she turned back towards the front door. “No, Nia, please, I’m sorry, I-” “Good luck with your new life, I guess, Y/N,” she said, purposefully emphasising your name, walking away before you could finish your apology. Despite feeling guilty, you didn’t make an effort to chase after her. You convinced yourself it was better this way.

“What was that all about?” a voice called from beside you, making you jump. “Ona, hey, what are you doing here?” you asked. “You left the party so suddenly, and I came to check on you,” she explained, “but I suppose you had company.” “How long have you been standing there?” you inquired, curious about what she may have overheard. “Not long, why? Are you afraid I heard something?” Ona asked suspiciously. “No, I just- it’s chilly out here. You should come inside.” you said, holding the door open as she walked inside.

As Ona stepped into your home, she immediately turned to you with a look of frustration etched on her face. “Y/N, what happened with Nia?” she demanded, her voice tinged with anger. “You’ve been so secretive lately, it’s hard not to feel like you’ve been lying to me.” Despite her annoyance, there was a note of confusion in her tone, as if she couldn’t quite understand why you were behaving this way. Once again, you brushed off Ona's concerns, insisting that there was nothing to worry about and that Nia had just wanted to chat. However, Ona was insistent and demanded to know why she had seemed so upset when leaving your apartment. 

You found it hard to articulate your thoughts, feeling caught off guard by the sudden confrontation. “Please, Ona, can you just trust me on this. Please just let it go.” you pleaded, hoping to avoid any further conflict. Eventually, she relented and let the issue slide, but an air of concern still hung around her. The two of you went to bed in a tense silence, the events of the day lingering in your thoughts.

Two days later, as you were getting ready for training in the changing room, Millie approached you. “Hey, do you know that cute girl with the dyed hair from Sunday?” she asked. “You mean Nia?” you clarified. “Yeah, that’s the one! Ona told me you knew her. Can I get her number? I want to ask her out.” Millie explained. You hesitated before responding. “Sorry, Millie. I don’t think that’s a good idea. Nia’s bad news.” Millie looked confused. “What do you mean? What’s wrong with her?” “I can’t really explain, but trust me, she’s not someone you want to get involved with.” you insisted. Millie looked rather disappointed. “Okay, I guess. Do you have her number though?” “No, I don’t.” you replied, putting an end to the conversation as you quickly finished up getting ready.

As you entered the changing room after training, you noticed Millie with a smile on her face, gazing at her phone. Ella also spotted her and inquired her about it. “Who’s got you grinning like that, Mills?” “No-one.” Millie quickly replied, and attempted to hide her phone. However, Ella had already caught sight of it and snatched it from her hand. “Who’s Nia?” Ella asked, looking at the screen. You felt a pang in your stomach as you worried about what she could find out. “Millie, what did I tell you?” you asked, annoyed that she had contacted Nia despite your warning. “How did you even contact her?” “I slid into her DMs. Y/N, did you know sh-” Millie began to say, but you cut her off, worried she might reveal too much information. Grabbing her wrist, you dragged her out of the room to talk in private.

You pulled Millie into an empty room as she struggled to free her wrist and kept asking what was going on. “Y/N, what's the big deal? Why can’t I talk to her?” she asked. “Millie, I need you to stop contacting Nia. She’s bad news, and I don’t want you getting involved.” you explained firmly. “But Y/N, she seems so cool.” Millie protested. “Please, Mills, just trust me on this.” you pleaded. After a moment of hesitation, she reluctantly agreed. “Okay, I guess.” she said with a sigh.

You returned to the changing room and took a seat next to Ona. “I suppose that was nothing too?” She remarked sarcastically. You simply sighed in response, feeling unsure of what to say. You gathered your belongings and shot a final stern look at Millie before making your way out and heading home.

During training the next day, you warmed up with Millie, passing the ball back and forth, when suddenly you heard her hum a familiar tune. The sound of her humming that melody made your heart race faster. “What’s that you’re humming Mills?” You tried to stay calm as you asked Millie about the song whilst continuing to pass the ball to each other. However, your clenched jaw gave away your anxiety. Millie stopped humming and looked at you, seeming caught off-guard. “Oops." she said, looking down at the grass. You repeated the question, trying to sound composed, even though your anger was simmering inside you. She looked up with a slight smirk on her face. “It's a nice tune, innit?” You cursed under your breath. “Fuck.” 

You gave millie a pleading look as you took the ball in your hands and walked over to her so you could whisper. “Mills, please, I don’t know what you know, but please don’t tell anyone, I beg you.” you said quietly. “What are you talking about? Are you okay?” she asked innocently, but you didn’t buy it. Before you could answer however, Marc called for all of you to gather together to start the first exercise. You desperately tried to compose yourself as the team gathered, your mind racing with thoughts of what Millie might know. Throughout training, you couldn’t shake the feeling of paranoia that someone might find out your secret. Every time Millie came near you, you were on edge, wondering if she was going to reveal what she knew.

That evening you were sitting on the couch in your living room, lazily flipping through the channels on TV when the doorbell rang. You weren’t expecting anyone, but when you got to the door and opened it, you found a package sitting on your doorstep with no return address. Your curiosity piqued as you eagerly brought it inside and began to open it up. As you lifted the lid, you found an old, tattered photograph of yourself with a group of people, all dressed in black. You couldn't believe your eyes as you stared at the photo, realising that it was taken during the time you lived in LA.

You started to feel a sense of unease as you examined the photo more closely, trying to remember the people in the picture. You could recognise a few faces, but most of them were unfamiliar to you. You began to wonder if this was somehow related to Nia, who had recently reappeared in your life. You had a sinking feeling that she wasn’t going to let go of your earlier outburst, which made her getting closer with Millie even scarier.

As you sat on the couch, staring at the old photo, the sound of the door opening made you jump. Ona walked in, surprised to see you home so early from training. You quickly tried to hide the package, but fumbled with it and ended up dropping it on the floor. Unfortunately, you weren’t quick enough and she caught sight of the old photo. “Who are these people? And why are you all dressed like that?” Ona asked, pointing to the group of figures in black, their clothes torn and frayed. You tried to play it off, “Oh, that's just me and some old friends in our Halloween costumes. We used to go all out, you know?” Ona laughed at the idea, but then noticed the date on the back of the photo. “But it says April on here, that’s not Halloween.” she pointed out, looking at you suspiciously.

You felt your heart pounding in your chest as you tried to come up with another excuse. “Oh, right, that must have been some other dress-up party we went to. I can’t really remember.” you said, hoping she would buy it. Ona raised an eyebrow, clearly not convinced. You could feel the weight of the secret bearing down on you more and more with each thing that happened.

That night, as you closed your eyes and drifted off to sleep, the fear and anxiety that had been brewing within you all day finally caught up. Your mind raced as you tossed and turned, and soon the nightmares began. In one particularly vivid dream, you found yourself playing in a huge match, the stadium packed to the rafters with cheering fans. You were playing well, confident and in control, until suddenly the crowd began to chant a name - a name that you hadn’t heard in years, a name that made your blood run cold. “Picky, Picky, Picky,” they chanted, and you felt your heart drop to the pit of your stomach.

As the chanting grew louder and more insistent, you tried to block it out, to focus on the game, but it was no use. You were Picky, the name you’d tried so hard to leave behind, the name that had haunted you for years. And now, in this nightmare, it was back, threatening to undo everything you’d worked so hard for. 

You jolted awake, your heart racing and your body slick with sweat. For a moment, you lay there in the dark, trying to steady your breathing and make sense of what had just happened. “Are you okay?” Ona asked, clearly awakened by your midnight antics. “Yeah, just had a nightmare. Go back to sleep Ona.”

The next morning, as you mindlessly scrolled through Instagram, you noticed Millie’s recent close friends story. You felt a knot form in your stomach as you saw a picture of her and Nia together, smiling at the camera. You knew that if Millie didn’t know your secret before, she definitely did now. You frantically searched for any clues in the photo, trying to see if there was anything that could give away your past. The fear of losing everything you had worked for began to consume you, and you couldn’t shake the feeling that your world was about to come crashing down.

You quickly called Millie, hoping to get some answers about the previous night. When she answered, you could hear the sound of a bustling coffee shop in the background. Millie sounded chipper, but her cheeriness quickly evaporated when you brought up Nia. You explained that you had seen her in the Instagram story and asked what happened. Millie hesitated before finally admitting that she had met up with Nia last night. As you listened to Millie defend Nia, insisting that she wasn't a bad person, you felt your frustration growing. It was clear that Millie was taking Nia’s side, and you couldn't believe it. How could she not see what Nia was trying to do? You tried to explain your side of the story, but Millie wasn’t hearing it. “Well how would you feel if someone called you an embarrassment, Y/N?”

You felt your stomach twist with guilt as Millie’s words hung in the air. She was right, you shouldn’t have said those things to Nia. You knew that now. “I’m sorry, Millie,” you said quietly, feeling ashamed. Millie took note of your silence and sighed. “Look, let’s meet up and talk about it, okay? You don’t have to apologise to me, but you should probably make it right with Nia,” she said, her voice softening. You agreed to meet up, feeling grateful for Millie’s kindness and for the opportunity to set things right. As you hung up the phone, you couldn’t help but feel a sense of dread. How were you going to face Nia and explain yourself?

That night, you met up with Nia and Millie at a bar to try and make amends. You felt nervous as you sat down with them, but you knew you needed to do this. You told her you were sorry for hurting her and acting the way you did. She seemed to take it well at first, but then she asked, “So have you told anyone about us?” “No, Nia, I haven’t.” You said quietly, which seemed to frustrate her. “Well, well, well, there it is. So nothing has changed, you are still just as embarrassed. Is your apology supposed to mean anything to me?” 

Luckily, Millie stepped in and suggested some drinks to lighten the mood. You all took some shots and Millie brought up some lighter subjects as the alcohol was starting to kick in. Before you knew it, you were singing karaoke with Nia, belting out some tunes you hadn’t heard in years. It felt liberating and for a moment, you forgot about the tension between the two of you. The music brought back so many memories, making you realise your embarrassment had overshadowed all the good memories from your time in LA. You wrapped an arm around Nia as you yelled, “I really am sorry Nia, I will make it up to you, promise.”

The next morning you woke up with a raging hangover, but a small smile grew on your face as you recalled the events of last night. You strolled towards the living room to be met with Ona, who had clearly been waiting for you. “Where were you last night?” She asked coldly. “I was out,” you said, “do you know where the paracetamol is?” “Out? Where? Who with?” Ona quickly followed up, voice stil frigid. “Millie, and also Nia.” You mumbled. “Mia? I thought you weren't that close with her.” 

You stumbled towards the kitchen, wincing at the pounding in your head. “Nia, not Mia. And it was just a night out with Millie, nothing more.” you say, searching through the medicine cabinet for paracetamol. Ona followed you, her arms crossed tightly over her chest. “Y/N, you’ve been acting strange lately. Is there something you’re not telling me?” she asked, her voice laced with suspicion. You swallowed the pills with a glass of water and turned to face her. “No, everything’s fine. I just needed a night out with friends.” Ona gave you a long, hard look, once again clearly not convinced.

“I can’t keep pretending I believe these lies you tell me. I think I might need some space, Y/N.” You felt a pit in your stomach. You knew she was right. Your recent behaviour had been mysterious, and you hadn’t been entirely truthful with her. You took a deep breath and tried to explain, “You’re right, I haven’t been completely honest with you. I promise I’ll tell you everything soon, I just need some time to figure things out, okay?” Ona looked at you, her eyes softening slightly. “You can’t keep pushing me away like this, Y/N. I need to know what’s going on.” You nodded, understanding the gravity of the situation. “I know, and I will tell you, but I need a little more time to figure out how to say it.” Ona nodded, and you felt the weight of your recent actions settling in.

The inevitability of revealing the secret had finally caught up with you. You had kept it buried deep within yourself for far too long. As you recovered from your hangover, a plan began to form in your mind. You reached out to Millie, knowing that she likely knew everything at this point, and asked for her help in bringing the truth to light. 

The next day, with the help of Millie and some staff members, you gathered the whole team in a conference room before training. Everyone sat down and as you stood in front of them, a big screen behind you, they all sent you confused glares, especially Ona, whom you told very little about your plan for this morning. Millie hushed everyone, and your nerves began to take hold. “Greetings, everyone,” you began, “for a long time I have kept my past a secret to all of you, but today that changes. What you’re about to witness might be shocking at first, but rest assured, that stuff is in the past, I am no longer involved in such practices, and I am not the person I was back then.” 

You took a deep breath as you moved away from the screen, giving Millie a small nod, who then hit play. You sat down on the front row, not wanting to face any of your teammates reactions. A video started playing, showing a bunch of alternative looking teenagers in a car. “We are on our way to Vegaaas.” One of them said. You cringed as you waited for the realisation to dawn behind you. “OH MY GOD,” Ella shouted suddenly, “Y/N, is that you with the pink hair?” You buried your face in your hands as a song began playing in the background.

You kept your face hidden in your hands as the video kept playing, showing you during the most embarrassing period of your life, singing and dancing with the members of the poppunk band you used to be a part of. The laughter and screaming of your teammates rang loud in your ears as you endured the three-minute video, each embarrassing detail pointed out feeling like an eternity. When the last chorus ended, which everyone had sang along too, Millie yanked you by the wrist, pulling you out of hiding and into the spotlight. Your heart pounded as you stood before the team, their eyes fixed on you, most of them still recovering from the laughter. “It’s time for some questions.” Millie declared, a sly grin spreading across her face.

“Alright, go on then, ask away.” You said, knowing an intense interrogation would be inevitable at this point, to which several hands shot up immediately. “You, pink shirt.” Millie said, pointing at Ella, pretending to be hosting a press conference. “Oh my god, where to start,” Ella began, “just- what was that?” You sighed. “When I was a teenager I lived in LA for two years. During that time I joined a band, this was them.” you answered. “What instrument did you play?” Alessia inquired. “Bass, next!” “Were you famous?” Leah asked, to which you chuckled. “We had one minor hit, but not really. They did have somewhat of a breakthrough after I left though.” Some people audibly gasped at that. 

“Do you still talk to them?” Maya asked. “Not really. When I left I kind of dove into my football career, never looking back. Although recently I have been getting in touch with one of them again.” You answered. “Do you have any regrets?” Millie, momentarily losing her role as moderator, caught you off guard with her question. You pondered the question for a while before stating, “No. I don’t.” A small smile growing on your face.

As the interrogation about your past came to an end, the staff interrupted, signalling that it was time for training. The teasing followed you into the changing room where your teammates continued to poke fun at your previous life, singing the song and scouring the internet for embarrassing photos. Despite their laughter, you couldn’t help but notice the quietness of your girlfriend. She remained silent throughout the morning, refusing to participate in the banter, and you knew something was wrong. Trying to be discreet, you quietly approached her as you laced up your shoes, “Ona, can we talk after training?” She nodded, but the unease lingered in the air. Training couldn't end soon enough, as the jokes persisted, and Ona seemed to avoid you at all costs.

When training was finally over, you and Ona hastily left to your apartment. As you sat with Ona on the couch, you couldn’t help but feel guilty about the way you had been acting lately. You knew why she had been quiet all day. You had hurt her by making her think that the secret from your past was something far more sinister than it actually was.

“I’m sorry, Ona,” you began, turning towards her. “I should have told you about the band from the start, instead of acting all suspicious and making you think it was something terrible. I know I hurt you and I feel terrible about it.” Ona remained quiet for a moment, her eyes fixed on her lap. Finally, she looked up at you and spoke in a soft voice. “I was just scared, you know? I thought you had done something really bad, something that would change the way I saw you. But now that I know the truth, I just feel silly.”

You took her hand in yours and squeezed it gently. “You have nothing to feel silly about, Ona. I understand why you were scared, and I should have been more open with you from the start. I promise to be more honest with you in the future.” you said genuinely. “You made me think you were secretly married, or something, or a murderer!” she chuckled, playfully smacking your leg with her hand. “Wait, you really thought that?” you gasped. “Well not really, but I just got confused and my mind went places!” she said, looking a bit embarrassed at her confession. “I’m really sorry Ona.” you said once more.

“So bass, huh?”, Ona said, changing the subject. “Can you still play?” “I do still have my old bass hidden away in the back of my closet, but I haven’t practiced in a long time. Though I guess playing an instrument should be like riding a bike right?”

It wasn’t. You opened the old hardcase to reveal your beige fender precision bass, covered in old stickers you had picked up whilst touring and attending concerts back in the US. “Wow, you were such a loser.” Ona teased. “See, this is why I didn’t want anyone to know!” you replied, sending her a pout. “I’m kidding, I love it. Now play something for me!”

After tuning your bass for what felt like minutes (it was so out of tune you were afraid a string might snap), you tested your muscle memory by attempting to play one of your old songs. You cringed at the sound of the first few notes and quickly stopped playing. Your fingers fumbled over the frets, struggling to find the right notes. The song that used to come so naturally to you now felt like a foreign language. It was like trying to reconnect with a version of yourself that no longer existed. 

“Hey, keep going!” Ona encouraged as she noticed your defeat. “What, you didn’t think that was terrible?” you quipped, raising an eyebrow. She laughed, “Oh, your playing was definitely terrible, but the bass looks good on you.” she said, sending you a wink.

With Ona's encouragement, you kept playing for a bit longer, trying to remember the bass lines. Gradually, it started to come back to you, and the song began to sound more familiar. Ona watched you intently, her smile growing wider as you got better. “You know, I like getting to know about your past,” she said, still smiling at you. “Even if it's embarrassing to you.”

You felt a little pang of guilt wash over you again, but you were grateful for Ona's understanding. You decided to take the opportunity to show her more about your past, and pulled out some old photos from your teenage years. As you scrolled through them together, you told her about your experiences touring with the band, the crazy things you did on the road, and the friends you made along the way. Ona listened attentively, asking questions and laughing at your stories. It felt good to finally share this part of yourself with someone, and you were glad it was with her.

“So this Nia girl, are you guys good? Things seemed so intense with you two.” Ona inquired. “Yeah, I may have hurt her in my embarrassment.” You answered, looking down at your feet. “I know just what to do to make things right.” Ona said as she shot up to grab her phone.

That evening, you sat in a bar, taking a sip of your beer whilst nervously wiggling your feet. You couldn’t believe you had agreed to this, but your girlfriend had convinced you it was the right thing to do. “You didn’t tell me the whole team was coming.” you said, frowning at Ona. She grinned back at you. “Don’t be nervous, querida. You’ve played to bigger crowds before.” You couldn’t help but feel like this was some sort of payback for your recent behaviour, which you definitely deserved. “They’re here!” Ona exclaimed, making you turn around to find Millie and Nia walking into the bar, Nia’s eyes widening when she saw you. 

You made your way to the small podium opposite the bar. You grabbed a microphone and signalled to the sound guy that you were ready. “Hello everyone,” you said into the microphone, taking a deep breath. “Could I have your attention please?” You grabbed your bass from behind the curtain, causing several gasps from your teammates and, of course, Nia. “I have an apology to make to an old friend of mine who’s here tonight. Nia, I'm truly sorry for the way I acted. If you can forgive me, please join in with me.”

As you began to play the bass line from one of your old songs, you could feel the weight of everyone’s attention on you. You were nervous at first, but as you played, you started to feel more confident. After a few bars, Nia hesitantly joined in, her voice blending perfectly with your playing. You shared a smile, both of you finally letting go of the tension that had been building between you. As the song progressed, you could see the your teammates tapping their feet and nodding their heads along to the beat. By the end of the song, the whole bar was cheering and clapping, and you felt a sense of pride and relief wash over you.

As the song came to an end, the bar erupted into applause. You looked out into the crowd and saw your friends, including Ona, with wide grins on their faces. But it was Nia who surprised you the most. She walked up to you and hugged you tightly, whispering in your ear, “I forgive you, Y/N.” “It’s Picky.” You smiled.

As you walked Nia towards the bar to order her a drink, you casually asked, “By the way, that photo was yours, wasn’t it?” Her face broke into a sly smile. “Photo? I have no idea what you are talking about.” she retorted. You raised an eyebrow, unimpressed with her denial. “Really? So it was just some random stranger leaving that package on my doorstep?” you inquired, your tone laced with sarcasm. Nia’s grin widened. “I guess so. Perhaps they got a little mad after being called an embarrassment and were hoping to remind you of some positive memories.” she suggested. You playfully nudged her elbow. “Some insightful stranger they were.”

After your performance, the evening blossomed into an unforgettable night out with your team. The occasional teasing towards your past, fuelled by Nia’s humorous anecdotes, only added to the lively atmosphere. Everyone hit it off with Nia, and you were relieved that she decided to forgive you. The night was filled with music, and your teammates kept requesting your old songs to the DJ, who was gradually becoming visibly annoyed. It was heartwarming to witness everyone having such a great time, and it felt freeing to let your hair down and revel in the moment with your friends. As the night came to an end, you walked out of the bar with your arm around Ona, feeling grateful for the amazing people in your life.

[hellsirenqueen-moved]

Hi! I've been a bit absent from the dash, and while I know it started with that one God account.. what IS the unholy crusade? What's happening here? :0

{Hello hello there friend! Come, take a seat. Xixi is going to give her story time! This is going to be a long one so I'll be placing the recap under a read more here.

So for those unaware of what's going on, things started to get..uh..interesting when a Big G (God) account (hxly-fxther) came around. They had made a post that basically challenged everyone to have one(1) chance to land a hit on them.

When most people attacked him, he would rate their hits. Unfortunately for Lilith, when she made her hit, she wasn't rated at all. But..she was given some information that startled her. She wasn't exactly happen to learn the info he had for her. I'll place the ask and the reply down below. There's going to be more than one image because, well, Lilith is dramatic. So the screen shot takes more than one pic.

Sadly, that was the end of that thread. There was one more thread that sort of..sparked things to get chaotic.

Reacting to that thread, Lilith did something that she normally never does - physically letting her anger out on furniture. She had a brief encounter with God, as he had mocked her rage and offered her wine to relax; but she basically told him to pound salt and declined his wine.

She didn't calm down until she was approached by Adam ( @dick-meister ) to figure out why she was having such a rage fit. It was then she broke the news of what their true purpose was to him.

He seemed to take the news better than her, but it opened a bridge for them to make amends for the eons of bad blood between them. They would try to be friends, maybe more, if time and their egos allowed.

Lilith later informed Lucifer ( @hells-greatestdad) of the news as well. She was a little more emotional with breaking the news to him, as their true purpose affected their daily lives. Thankfully Lucifer was an understanding partner and told Lilith that loved her, be it a part of God's plan or not.

Now, while all this was happening, God was still taking shots from various characters. Adam (@/dick-meister) tried hitting him twice. His first "hit" was more or less a light tap to God's face. Not gonna lie, my Rosie poked fun at him for that. His second attempt had him taken to Purgatory, where he spent a day (But an hour in Purgatory time) in, fighting off the creatures that live there. Lilith still had questions for God about what he told her, so she made her way to visit him. However, what she encountered both shocked and angered her. The screen shots below will explain why.

I have a personal hc that Lilith took a picture of God's planning board before she said anything to him in the situation below. She knew that many wouldn't believe her word alone, so she does have solid proof of what she saw.

That was more or less the end of that thread. It was shortly after this thread that the God account deactivated. So we had a little problem. Adam was stuck in Purgatory.

If it wasn't for Lucifer ( @/hells-greatestdad ) getting him out of there, he would still be in Purgatory. Upon hearing that he was back, Lilith went to visit him and yes, Lucifer knew. He approved of her outfit before heading out and she promised to be back before dawn.

Waiting in Adam's room with her snake familiar, Penelope, she spoke to Adam in the privacy of his room. She told him God's plans for Heaven and Hell. As she went into detail, she started to crack a bit, panic showing for the future. Adam managed to calm Even though the plan itself sounded outlandish, Lilith was glad that he believed her. Adam agreed that he would try to talk to Sera to see if a meeting between Heaven and Hell could happen. They then exchanged numbers and she sent him the picture she took of God's planning board. Their conversation ended there, but she did sing Adam to sleep, creating lyrics on the spot to help ease his mind from the constant battles he was involved in when he was in Purgatory.

Lilith later returned to Lucifer as she promised. She didn't have the heart to tell him God's plan when he was half awake in her arms. So she just softly sang the first song she performed when she first met Lucifer to help him go back to sleep.

It wasn't until the next day that she told him everything she told Adam. He was, as one would imagine, disturbed by the information, but he agreed with her that they needed to do something about the situation. They are debating on whether or not to tell Charlie. At the moment, they are leaning towards telling her, as this war will affect all souls on either side of the afterlife. It wouldn't make sense if she redeemed souls that would be attacked anyway in Heaven. (This is a planned rp that will be happening soon with the Lucifer mentioned, Charlie ( @hellsdisneyprincess ) and myself. So be on the look out for that if you want to see the tea for that aspect of the plot.) After having that conversation, Lilith figures that she needs to have a conversation with her Overlords and confront those she has a contract with. The first she spoke with was Alastor ( @radioiaci ) He has agreed to come when called when there is a meeting. Though he gave her the answer she was hoping for, she knew he didn't trust him. There was also the possibility of him being controlled by another through the puppet marking she had placed on him during Rosie's Blood Rose Ball as a way of controlling his physical actions. She was hoping to use it as a way to keep him obedient; but with her control over him placed in jeopardy, she has decided to release him of that particular constraint. She is currently testing Alastor, seeing if he can get a hit on her - extending the challenge that God offered everyone else. Lilith wants to see whether he is ready to fight against rejected creations of God. It will give her an idea as to how strong he is and his battle tactics to hit a moving target. She's not going to make it easy for him, which she knows will frustrate him, but is a necessary evil - though she would admit that making him frustrated is a bit amusing. Still concerned about what is to come, Lilith created a collar for Adam. Designed for his particular taste (image will be posted on his relationship post later today), she made it so that he was protected against demonic and elemental magic. To prove a point, she had him step into a garden while he wore it, casting lightning and an orb of anti matter mixed with dark magic at him. A protective shield went around him and a 5 foot crater was left all around him.

To her surprise, he also had a gift for her. (Image will be posted later today)

A ring that will allow Lilith to transverse between Heaven and Hell without being detected. She quite proudly wears it on her right hand, as her left is reserved only for her ring with Lucifer.

Though the God blog is deactivated, Lucifer and Lilith have been both been given a message by God via anon.

Lucifer was told that he is doing well, playing his part - to which greatly upset him. Lilith and Adam comforted him, knowing how much his presence alone rattled Lucifer. With it being Lucililith Week, Lucifer and Lilith were going to take the week to celebrate their marriage and reign over Hell. Taking a week to basically relax and take time for themselves before diving into the headache that was the war God had planned for them. Unfortunately, that pleasant idea flew out the window when Lilith was visited. You can see that interaction HERE! Both Adam and Lucifer are doing their best to help calm Lilith down because hoo boy..this woman is NOT happy. You can see the interactions for Adam HERE and HERE ll interactions for Lucifer HERE and HERE.

So yeah. . .That's the story so far!

It's a lot..but I am still looking for others to be involved! Like, I do want to involve other Overlords and any nobles who want to get in on the plot. Lilith can use all the support she can get here.

[hobbitsetal]

Ok this is a really embarassing question but. How does one get a boyfriend? I grew up with the idea that I didn't have to date until I was done with my education. Now it's been a while since I graduated, I'm in my 20s, and I have 0 clue how to even find a significant other. I would appreciate your advice, and if any other Christian women who are married or in a committed relationship see this, I would appreciate their advice too. Thank you!

What an excellent question, actually! The dating scene is an ever-shifting one, and a motley and confusing one when you throw Christian values and preferences into the mix!

Let me start with a few practical tips, and then dig a little deeper into this idea of finding an S/O.

The cliche of "put yourself out there" is, regrettably, cliche for a reason. My brother is taking salsa classes with the goal of meeting someone. I spent time hanging out with my siblings and their friends, and even tried attending a different church's young adult group for a while to meet people. So that leads into the question, what are your hobbies and interests?

Church groups are a classic way to meet someone, but I would strongly recommend branching out into other parts of society as well. Renaissance festivals, music events, glass-blowing...Whatever strikes your fancy, go explore it!

One of the most frustrating things about dating (and giving dating advice) is that it really does feel like a matter of luck. I've dated three guys. The first came to visit my brother, and I happened to run into him at something like 1 am when he was looking for a glass of water. We stayed up another hour chatting, and then by the end of his visit to my brother, he left me his number.

The second, I met when I picked my sister up from a Bible study. The third went to college with a different sister of mine. That third one she then brought down for a visit...to wing-man for a different friend. The third man I dated is a terrible wing-man. Great husband, though.

But that's the thing: while I was interested in dating, each of these men came into my life coincidentally. And while going out places and looking for people to connect with increases your chances of meeting someone to date, it doesn't guarantee it.

So then what?

I'm going to encourage you to focus on your own interests. You have to be a whole person, and you have to remain a whole person whether you date or not.

Ask yourself: if I knew right now that I would never get married or date, what would I want my life to look like?

For me, that looked like focusing on writing, on friendships, and on trying out new things, like theater or taking a swing dance class or playing Dungeons and Dragons. That looked like reading widely. After I broke up with my second boyfriend, I visited Ireland with my younger sister, which was an absolutely incredible trip.

Now that I am married, I still prioritize writing, friends, and new experiences. I have someone else to share them with now, but my interests predate and exist outside of him. We have hobbies in common, too, like reading and D&D, and sharing those hobbies is part of what drew us to each other.

What do you want to try? What are you interested in? And along the way, incidentally, where might you perhaps meet someone who shares your interests?

[saltminerising]

sorry gonna have to format this as a greentext cause this is just so comically bad it makes me want to laugh and also die

> be me

> rediscover flight rising after a few years of not playing

> log onto old account, find all my childhood dragons + items, start having a blast

> 3 weeks in, remember i'm an adult now with adult money instead of being a broke 13 year old

> decide to splurge a bit, spend $50 on gems, have the time of my life getting to do everything i wanted as a kid including making dream dragons with genes/apparel i could never get before

> start to genuinely get into the game for real again, log on every day, chat on the forums, make friends, so happy to have all my old dragons + retired items i'd collected back then, absolutely balling

> be me, 2 weeks later, sitting down at desk after a long workday, excited to play more

> try to log on

> account closed

> confused. send appeal. get response.

> apparently made another account when i was 13 that i genuinely have no recollection of. been living in the same childhood house with the same internet provider, so still had the same i.p address

> no response when asking for alternate accounts details, just get told i can go ahead and make a new account if i want

> that was a week ago

> quite literally had no idea about the decade old multiaccounting, so genuinely did not think i was at risk in any way and spent weeks investing time love and money into this game without knowing

> had also loaned 2 really nice people's dragons for a breeding project i was doing, which i'd done with the full belief that i'd be able to return them

> mfw i realize dragons, apparel, items, achievements, treasure, and money i spent on gems are basically gone forever because of a single alt account i'd apparently made a decade ago and had no memory of creating

> mfw i realize 2 innocent people are now not gonna be able to get their dragons back from me because i had 0 warnings or signs that my account was at risk

> mfw i realize i'm literally never getting childhood account back

do sort of wish they would've closed my account in the month they had before i dropped $50+ on this game and loaned dragons from others 😇😇😇 #flightrisingbestgameintheworld

previous greentext anon would also like to state i did make a new account just so i could contact the two people i loaned those dragons from and explain the situation. i'm planning on purchasing gems one last time just so i can send it to them to make up for this, considering they were unfairly wrapped up in this and are presumably never getting their dragons back. after thats sorted out... hasta la vista sornieth ✌ those were a very fun few weeks of ignorant bliss and i genuinely want to play more pretty bad, but i'm not gonna spend hours grinding and spend god knows how much money trying to rebuild all that again.

[cherrybombfangirlwrites]

Would You Let Me Touch Your Soul, Forever? (Can You Hear Me Longing For You, Forever, Forever?)

Thanks @flashfictionfridayofficial ! Many feelings to admit from the heart today (and it's set in the heart of a mountain cavern where an ancient altar and runes for dark magic sit, as a bonus). Yet again inspired by a song I'm currently obsessed with Life Eternal by Ghost (hence the title). Starts out very angsty by it ends with fluff and a temporary happy ending, I promise ;). I'm incredibly proud of this, I swear all of my best work is angst XD.

Wordcount: 840

Warnings: soul crushing angst, Raven sad boi hours

Fractured Stars Falling Book 7 - Draft 0 ; Character, Dynamic, and Plot Exploration

The spell’s light died away, and the cavern was silent for a minute. No one said anything, and everyone looked around hopefully.

Several seconds passed in frozen stillness.

Then several more.

Triveya read the spell again, flipping between the two pages quickly. She read them again. She looked at the spell ingredients.

“I did everything the spell says…” She said softly, “I’m sorry.”

Snow quickly turned around, storming over to the cavern wall and slamming her fist against it.

Monty sunk to the floor, and hugged himself, eyes starting to sparkle with tears.

Cassandra looked at Kaye, who shook his head and looked away, pressing a hand to his mouth. She clutched a hand to her chest, mouth open in a silent cry.

Raven just stood there, frozen as he felt his eyes start to sting.

The aching feeling in his chest became a soul shattering wound that crushed everything inside him.

His legs refused to support him any longer, and he collapsed next to the altar. Something hot and wet rolled down his cheeks and he realized he was crying as the dam broke.

Her hand was still in his as he pressed kisses to it and he started to sob.

“No…” he breathed, as if the word would do anything. His voice failed him, cracking and weak. “It was supposed to work… it was supposed to work…”

His hand trembled as he brushed her cheek with his fingertips. He pulled his hand back, choking as his vision blurred. “I’m sorry… I'm sorry, Sapph’... I should’ve- I should’ve gone in with you into that tower, or- or brought you with me somewhere safe- or ran away with you- I- I should’ve fought harder, but I- I wasn’t strong enough, I’m sorry…”

He buried his face in the fabric of her dress, sobs racking his body. He said in a small quiet voice, “I love you.”

“I should’ve told you sooner,” he whispered, voice breaking, “When we were on the tower staircase. But I… I didn’t… I thought we had time… I couldn’t save you… I’m so sorry, Sapph’. I love you so much, I… I should’ve kissed you when we were on the staircase- or one of those nights by the fire… when I had the chance… I’m so sorry…”

He kept wiping at his tears, but more quickly replaced them until his cheeks were soaked with salty despair.

He sat there for a minute, slumped over the altar and her body, just crying until the tears were almost gone. Raven pulled himself up, entire body heavy as he tried to gather himself. He hadn’t thought about or planned what he was going to do if this didn’t work.

He supposed the best he could do with this outcome was take her home, but then what?

What was he going to do? He’d spent the last several years since taking this job preparing for the day he’d fulfill his duty as bodyguard and give his life for the princess.

He never prepared for the other way around.

Revenge sounded like a pretty good option, especially if he managed to take the world down with him.

He stood, dragging his body up, still clutching her hand tightly. He said in a small voice, turning to Triveya, breaking the sickly silence of the cavern. “I should take her home…”

He took a deep breath, wiping away tears again.

Leaning forward, pressing a kiss to her forehead with trembling lips. He let it linger, squeezing his eyes shut. He whispered one last time, “I’m so sorry… I love you.”

He started to pull away when he could’ve sworn he felt her hand weakly squeeze his. It must have been a ghost.

Then for the first time in months, he heard her whisper breathlessly, “Then come back here and give me a real kiss…”

His heart jumped as he started crying again, this time for a very different reason. He threw his arms around her, clutching the fabric on her back to remind himself that she was really there.

She was crying too, face lighting up and her eyes filled with relief- Oh god, he never thought he’d see those eyes again, those beautiful, dark blue eyes that filled him with butterflies.

"You're alive..." he breathed, "You're alright..." He choked, starting to cry again, "I thought- I thought you- I thought it didn't work..."

She laughed a little sniffing. "I'm alright... I promise, I'm alright." She leaned her forehead against his. "I love you too."

He froze a little, heat rising in his cheeks. "You- you heard all that?"

"I couldn't make out what you were saying until the end but... I already knew." She grinned, "Nice to get confirmation though."

He felt the heat rise in his whole face, and Sapphire giggled. She cupped his face and pulled him towards her, kissing him.

The instant their lips met everything inside Raven was healed, the world was alright again, his whole body was light and alive and everything was going to be alright.

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[hotmess-exe]

hi!! a bitch is broke (✿;◕‿◕)

name's Okomo and I haven't had to do something like this since my diagnosis and initial treatment for cancer, but yeah. this non-binary African creative is broke and needs help.

So if (and only if) you personally have some coins and/or cash to spare, I'd love to not worry about groceries (very urgent), my phone and internet (recently paid), and general life expenses (transportation, cat food, wellness, weed) for the rest of May. and I should prob have a goal so:

$0/$500

Please supplement a like with a reblog! I have tips enabled on here, but it's probably best to stick with PayPal and CashApp: I'm hotmessfic on both.

what, you want details or somethin? k fine

Last October, I was hit by a pick-up truck while crossing the street in broad daylight, on the way to work. Three weeks after that I was fired from that new job.

It's been a mess and struggle to make progress on my insurance claim (still waiting nearly 6 months later) and to receive benefits (finally got Medicaid in March, after 3 months of waiting). I spent the holidays visiting family and all of February in Spain doing cancer check-ups. The job hunt hasn't been fruitful since getting back in March, mainly because I had plans to accompany my mother for a surgery in Turkey this month — something that I finally confirmed last week is delayed indefinitely.

I legit just need some support for this month (May) and should be good after. The move back to the States has been no joke! I'm over this country lol