#bro why r u playing 3 hopes now

[wincore]

I faked my engagement for free cake samples and got sued after I ran away AIO | haechan

pairing: haechan x baker!reader

genre: comedy, fluff, rivals (?) to lovers (?)

warning(s): quite possibly you will be inflicted with cringe, shameless scamming, mild swearing, one (1) innuendo

words: 5.4k

song recs: santa doesn’t know you like i do by sabrina carpenter, too late for chocolate? by kana hanazawa, like a raspberry by 宇宙ネコ子, honey by kara

a/n: ty to my queens lana and cat for gassing up this dumpster fire i wrote in a caffeine haze while watching my bf die every 20 secs in ds3. the initial plot was going to be far longer and more fleshed out but i fear i'm past my prime ( ._. )" i still hope you guys have fun with this one!! i got to play around with hallmark comedy far more this time, so overall it was a fun time writing <3 happy new year, my lovely mooncakes!!

part of a nonsense christmas: reddit edition collab <3

r/AmITheAsshole

u/YeastMode6969 • 3h

I faked my engagement for free cake samples then got sued after I ran away. AIO?

I (24F, small bakery owner) faked my engagement to get free cake samples at my rival bakery but the employee said I needed my fiance to be there. I panicked and grabbed the first guy to come through the bakery door after me. Turns out he’s not just some random customer. To top it off, he was ridiculously attractive even though he pissed me off every two sentences. I had a panic attack, told myself it’s totally not my fault, and moved on by baking fourteen cakes over the weekend. I thought I got away with it, but three days later, I got an email from him—he’s now suing me for “emotional damages” and “theft of pastries.” Am I doomed, or is this just karma with extra frosting?

⥣ 7.7k ⥥ 2,701 Comments

bun_theory0222 • 2h

INFO: Did you at least try the samples? Were they worth the lawsuit? We’re all dying to know here.

➥ Reply ⥣ 3.2k ⥥

muffinbutdrama1122 • 1h

nah cuz why is he suing when he CLEARLY wants to flirt??? this man is embarrassing but so are you. somebody matched ur freak <3

➥ Reply ⥣ 1.7k ⥥

soggywaffle0205 • 6m

YTA why can’t this shit happen to me. AT LEAST I would commit to the bit.

➥ Reply ⥣ 420 ⥥

cerealfordinner0323 • 2h

Bro sued you just to slide into your life again. He’s not slick, and neither are you. Good luck with that wedding cake.

➥ Reply ⥣ 9,011 ⥥

. . .

If you could hop a few steps to the right, feign unconsciousness, and climb right into the active fireplace, it could potentially make everything okay. For you, that is. Not for the poor bakery employees who would have to call the cops. 

“I’m sure he’s a handsome one!” The girl behind the counter giggles, light pink dusting her cheeks. “You’re- you’re so gorgeous!”

Setting aside the fact that most gorgeous women you know end up with malformed gargoyles, your current predicament is almost equally sinister. What started as an innocuous process to gain free wedding samples (in other words, a scam) has led to a question that should be obvious but completely escaped your mind following your trailing success.

“We’ll need to have you come in with your fiance for the free wedding cake samplers. Is he around?”

Is he around?! Boy, you sure hope so. Because now you’re also frantically looking around with the employee after you blurted out another lie: “He’s going to be here soon!”

When did you turn into a compulsive liar? You’re not sure if your mom would be proud of you for being so good at nabbing free food, or disappointed that you’re a filthy liar. After all, she did tell the buffet employees you were under 10 all the way till you were 14. So, really, you’re not the source of the problem! You brush your festive red skirt of invisible crumbs, trying to busy yourself.

The cafe itself is well decorated for Christmas—a silver reindeer bores holes into your head from by the front door, a small Christmas tree stands at the center that’s a little emaciated but the cute Sanrio ornaments in Santa hats make up for it, and most importantly, a beautiful Mont Blanc cake sparkles from atop the glass counter. (Seriously, why didn’t you think of this? Your own bakery is all sparkles and no play.)

You move out of the way of other customers, and casually glance at the source of your awe and joy. Powdered sugar dusts the top as idyllic snow, covering the sugared cranberries and sugared chestnuts, not dent in them under the white fondant star. The base of the cake is tied with an edible red ribbon, completing the seasonal aesthetic of it. A sigh rests momentarily upon your lips before it escapes. 

You love Mont Blanc cakes, but you never quite get it right. That’s your biggest failure as an up-and-coming baker, and such is the reason for your unhinged serial sampling scam. You swear it started off as a search for inspiration in a creative rut but before you knew it, a lie had spilled from your eclair-sweetened lips, and another, and another. 

It is at this point that you briefly consider bolting for the door. Tibet is great around this time of the year. Maybe if you convert to a monk lifestyle and atone for your sins, you’ll be granted a pardon in the form of delicious sweets. Before you can make your escape, however, the front door jingles, and in strides a sight unbelievably reassuring. A man with caramel hair enters, who might as well be wrapped in a giant red ribbon and seated atop a snow-white horse in golden ornaments.

It’s a Christmas miracle. Hallelujah! They still apply to you.

His smile—soft and sweet as meringue hearts—lights up the room as he inhales the warm, sugary air of the bakery. You’re hit with the vaguest sense of familiarity. He might be one of the few customers you get these days. For a moment, you falter. Are you really going to victimize this stranger?

Yes. Yes, you are. The situation is dire.

“Hi darling!” You exclaim within earshot of the employee, before lowering your voice. “Could you help me out a little here?”

The man blinks, dazed for whatever reason. “Uh… sure?”

“Okay, then follow along and ask questions later,” you reply, and loop your arm through his gingerly. The touch of his fuzzy winter coat makes you relax a little. It is chocolate-colored, with beige fluff around the collar. Not now, you think to yourself, You need to stop thinking about sweets for one goddamn moment.

“Here he is,” you laugh sheepishly as you bring the man forward. Gosh, what in the heavens are you doing? You didn’t even ask his name. 

The employee stares, jaw agape. What’s with the reaction? He’s not that hot. 

“O-oh,” she responds. “That’s quite the surprise. I never knew. Congratulations, sir!”

You turn to look at him. He simply scratches his chin with a sheepish smile, and manages to respond with a “Thanks, Kimi.”

He must be a regular, you think. Oh, (Name), what did you get yourself into? You’re just gonna have to read his name off his coffee order first.

“We have a selection of samples for our wedding cake choices,” the girl, Kimi, moves to the far side of the counter, offering a small menu card to the two of you. “I know you’re not a big fan of wedding cakes, Mr. Lee, but the latest tiramisu flavors should suit your tastes, no?”

Just how close are they?! You chew on your lip and try to calm your depraved little heart.

“Well,” he responds, thinking for a second, “I actually hadn’t thought this far. What do you think, honey?”

He turns to you with a radiant smile, but you sense a hint of mischief. You don’t have time to think of that though—so you just change the topic. 

“Actually, do you have a Mont Blanc flavor? I’ve always had trouble perfecting it myself.”

Truth be told, that ‘honey’ had flowed from his lips and struck you straight in the heart. He’s not too bad to look at, you think now. His tousled hair catches the light with a playful sheen, framing his face and accentuating his disbelieving smile, while his fluffy coat adds a cozy touch to his charming, boyish demeanor. If you were to overthink a little, you’d find a hint of mischief in his voice. Alas, you’re a simple girl who only overthinks sweet treats, not boys.

“You bake?” He blurts, before his ears turn red from realization.

Kimi shoots him a puzzled look and your breath hitches in your throat. Was the miracle an idiot in disguise?

“I mean, uh, gosh, you make me so nervous, honey.” He looks like he’s trying his very best to ace an exam he never studied for. “I meant to ask if you're going to bake.. today? Don’t look at me like that.” 

Maybe you should’ve picked a candied apple and prayed that a witch had poisoned it. You can’t even force out a smile at that pathetic save.

“You’re a lucky man, Mister,” Kimi jabs, a look of distrust in her eyes before they flash to you. “I’m afraid Miss (Name) in a wedding dress would make me drop dead at the altar.”

“Oh, you- you flatter me,” you choke out, “I promise you wedding gowns aren’t my thing at all. Besides, you’d look beautiful in white yourself.”

Why is she so into this wedding conversation? How close are these two? You’re not sure how to react, and neither do you know how this man is going to explain your mysterious disappearance the next time he visits the bakery. You’re sure as hell not going to continue the act beyond this. It’s time you retired from this scam business. You’re not even sure how you’ll talk your way out of this with the man, currently engaged in small talk with Kimi. 

And— is he blushing?! Does he have something going on with the girl—Kimi? Did you just ruin something? Your heart tightens a little, and you have to physically restrain yourself from falling to the floor, head in your hands.

You laugh awkwardly, trying to diffuse the situation. When you open your mouth, you are interrupted.

“Actually, Miss, I think I take back what I said about the handsome part,” Kimi jokes, evident disdain sent towards Donghyuck.

Your natural response is a little laugh that leaves before you know it. Maybe, the feelings you sensed were of unrequited resentment. He does have the kind of face that looks like it’s often smacked by girls. No offense to him.

Kimi hands you the first sample (two delicious slices of Mont Blanc) and excuses herself to fetch the rest. The two of you make your way to a booth with the heaviest silence you’ve ever experienced. You might as well be at a funeral.

“So… free samples are that good, huh?” The man asks, raising an eyebrow. 

“Shut up,” you mutter. 

“I’m Donghyuck, by the way,” he responds with a youthful laugh. “Might I have the honor of knowing my fiance's name?”

“(Name). And stop looking at me like that.”

He lets out a short breath.

“You know, maybe we should’ve pretended it was an arranged marriage.”

“Quite proficient in the scamming business, are you?”

“Oh, you’re better off not knowing my dirty secrets.”

You couldn’t care less about his secrets but the look you shoot at him is certainly dirty.

He opens his mouth but you interrupt him to absolve yourself first. “Listen, I don’t do this often. And I’ll have you know it’s nothing personal. Well, not against you. The owner of this place maybe.”

Donghyuck blinks. “Oh? Do tell. I’m all for being a hater with my fiance.”

You stare at him, not impressed.

“Sorry.”

“Okay, so this started a month or two ago. I had been working tirelessly, testing recipe after recipe, trying to perfect the Mont Blanc cake. It was my dream to make it iconic, you know? But before I could even settle on the perfect combination of flavors, some smug bastard opens a bakery right across from me. And what does he have as his specialty? Why, the Mont Blanc cake of course. Seasonal! Cute, elaborate new decor every two weeks! Just how rich is he? I bet he doesn't even bother to create his own recipes. This guy didn’t just steal my idea, he’s turned my passion into some overpriced, generic trend!”

You heave, tired from the onslaught of frustration. Chewing on your lower lip, a pout naturally makes its way onto your face, and so do more complaints. 

“And that’s not all, okay? I never see him at the bakery. I refrain from entering my competitors' establishments unless I greet them in person. But this asshole is just never there! What, is he too good to work at his own bakery? Too good to grace us lowly bakers with a visit? How could he just swoop in and steal my signature item?”

Donghyuck listens to your rant with intent, cheek resting against his palm. He even looks a little ridiculously charmed right now. 

“Wait… so you’re the infamous Free Cake Phantom everyone’s talking about?” He gasps.

You’ve finally turned to your poor, neglected Mont Blanc sample, just for your heart to jump out. “What?”

“Just kidding. Your secret is safe,” he says, digging into the cake with infuriating nonchalance. “But hey, you’ve got good taste. This Mont Blanc though? It’s my personal recipe.”

Your fork halts halfway to your mouth. “Your recipe? What, you work here or something? And, no offense, but it’s overwhipped.”

If that’s a joke, it’s not very funny. The man looks more like a confectionary than a confectioner. There’s no way he works here. He’s probably some jobless guy drifting from bakery to bakery on early Saturday mornings.

His jaw drops. “Overwhipped? Are you kidding me?”

You wave the fork at him like it’s a weapon. “Chestnut puree shouldn’t have the texture of mousse. It’s called finesse, Mr. Lee.”

Before he can respond, Kimi returns with another tray, and you slip back into character, placing your hand on Donghyuck’s. “Thank you,” you coo at her. “I can’t wait to share all these flavors at our wedding.”

Donghyuck stiffens slightly at the unexpected contact, but he recovers quickly, plastering on the fakest grin known to man. “Anything for you, sweetheart.”

Kimi laughs. “You’re such a lovely couple. When’s the big day?”

You freeze, and so does Donghyuck. For a moment, neither of you has an answer.

“Oh, we’re still, uh, deciding,” you blurt, glancing at him for backup.

“Yeah, we’re thinking spring,” he adds smoothly. “Cherry blossoms. Very romantic.”

“Y-yes. Maybe the Raspberry Rose should be in the winner’s spot then.”

As Kimi bows politely and walks away again, Donghyuck leans in to whisper. “Should I book the honeymoon now, or…?”

“Don’t push your luck,” you hiss, elbowing him in the ribs. 

He makes a pained sound, but recovers quickly. 

The second flavor is dubbed “Marble Eclipse”, a decadent blend of rich chocolate and vanilla, perfectly balanced with a luscious buttercream frosting. You try to focus on the taste, but Donghyuck’s smug grin as he watches you take a bite is more distracting than you’d like to admit. You’re not easily flustered, not by men. Unfortunately, he would have been the exact type you’d have tried to nab in college.

You shake your head. Focus, (Name), you think to yourself, You’re in the enemy’s lair right now!

“So… I might as well come clean,” Donghyuck says with a serious tone, right after you’ve taken a bite. You pause in horror. What arcane knowledge is he going to use for your humiliation this time?

“I visit your bakery often, and I must say your selection is just as good, if not better.”

You exhale.

“Oh, it’s better alright,” you retort, before realizing the unwarranted passion in your voice. You compose yourself. “I mean, maybe their Mont Blanc is… a solid competitor.”

Donghyuck laughs, clearly amused by the bashfulness on your face.

“Wait, are you patronizing me?”

“Of course not!” He places his hand over his heart in mock hurt.

“I think the difference is that this one keeps up with the youth.” He waves his fork about, explaining his point further. “Everyone loves new, shiny things. Cycle those as much as possible. Have you ever considered holding blind box events with your cupcakes? I’m sure the kids would love to find out which flavor of panda bear cupcake they got—matcha, my personal favorite, or coconut cream, or… god forbid, chocolate mint. Ugh. Have you considered removing that from the menu? Anyway, that shouldn’t take too much time and money, right?”

The youth? What is he, forty? However, however, the look on his face as he describes your own baked goods to you is enough to make you intensely flustered. Has this man visited so often? And you never noticed him? How could you miss that easy-going smile?

A familiar figure saves you from whatever awkward, garbled response you were going to muster.

Despite Kimi’s arrival, Donghyuck has a hard time taking his eyes off you. Lashes swaying with each flicker of his eyes over your face, he’s hardly taking a bit of the delicious marble cake, in fact. What, have you got something on your face?

Kimi apologizes profusely before you can say anything to greet her. 

“There’s only one slice prepared for the Tiramisu Dream sample,” she explains. “I’m so sorry about this. Would you mind sharing this one? I apologize again.”

“No worries, Kimi,” Donghyuck responds, laughing a little. You shake your head and reassure it’s alright too. 

Anyway, that slice is going to be yours. You’re ready to pry it from his cold, dead hands.  

To your surprise, though, he shoots a friendly smile at you. 

“Want the first bite?”

“May I?” You ask, just to be sure.

“By all means,” he says, gesturing grandly. “After all, what’s mine is yours, fiance.”

You swear, if he calls you that one more time, he’s going to end up in the cake display.

Kimi stares at the two of you blankly for a moment. It instantly flusters you and Donghyuck both, so much so that the idiot digs his fork into the cake slice and holds it up to your lips with a soft ‘ah’ —and so much so that you actually accept it graciously. 

And all that only for Kimi to not even notice as she excused her way back to the counter. So now you’re just two idiots deep in your romantic charades. Donghyuck clears his throat, too late to cover his coral-tinted cheeks and ears. You’re certain you wear a similar expression.

“You’re- you’re so weird,” you jab, unable to come up with an insult higher than middle school grade. 

“What, you wanted me to do airplanes too?!”

“Take that fork and drive it through your tongue, will you?”

“Woah, woah, no need for violence, Miss (Name). Peace and Love.”

Unexpectedly, it makes you break character into unbound laughter. The weariness of the act and the silliness of the whole situation leaks into the sound, and it’s enough to make Donghyuck join in. For passersby, you are just a couple already past your third, fifth and seventh dates.

“Any comments for the tiramisu cake?” Donghyuck asks, grinning ear to ear.

You catch your breath, wiping a tear from the corner of your eye. “Yeah, I have a comment: who puts this much cocoa powder on top? Are you trying to choke your customers?”

“Awh, and I thought you were gonna be nice,” he whines, “Your smile is just so… inviting.”

As if on cue, he chokes on the cocoa powder. 

“I still like it,” you continue. “I’d just do it better.”

“I have the utmost confidence in that.”

Gosh, his smile is nauseating—too bright, too easy, like he’s actually enjoying this. Maybe he’s a rising actor, and you’re the one being hoodwinked. After all, who looks at someone like that on a first meeting?

A moment passes, and suddenly his thumb is at the corner of your lips, brushing off the cocoa powder with a touch so casual it feels anything but. “Got it,” he murmurs, and the air between you shifts, warm and oddly heavy.

“So, how do you know all this?” you ask, changing the topic. You’re forcing yourself to focus, to breathe. 

He leans back, a small laugh slipping out like he’s grateful for the lifeline. “You- uh- you could say I’m a connoisseur of pastries,” he offers, his voice lighter now. “I like to sample the best around town—just, you know, legally. I even take notes of my favorites.”

He gestures towards you, and you scoff.

The words settle between you as you toy with the edge of your skirt, smoothing the fabric down over your lap. There’s something about the way he speaks—so casual, so effortless—that needles at you. For a man so annoyingly confident, he sure seems relieved to have redirected the conversation.

Your hand grazes the tiny snowman buttons on your cardigan, tracing the cold plastic absentmindedly. His gaze flickers to the movement, then back to your face, a smile tugging at his lips like he’s trying not to laugh. You don’t know what’s more embarrassing—getting outed as the Cake Thief or the fact that he’s bound to know he flusters you.

You tilt your head, giving him a skeptical look. “How professional of you.”

The bite in your tone is softening, and you don’t like it one bit.

He holds up his hands, feigning surrender. “Hey, it’s an art. Someone’s gotta appreciate it, right?”

The faint chatter of other patrons fills the room, but his presence sharpens the moment, making it feel like it’s just the two of you. For a fleeting second, you catch yourself wondering what kind of person would take notes on pastries for fun. It’s so bizarrely specific, so utterly unnecessary—and yet, so like him.

His smile deepens, pulling you out of your thoughts. “You’re thinking about it, aren’t you?” he teases.

You roll your eyes, but there’s no stopping the traitorous grin threatening to break through. You refuse to indulge him, even as you feel the faintest crack in your defenses.

"Maybe,” you say, finally.

He chuckles, the sound warm and genuine, before leaning back against his chair with a satisfied air, as if he’s won something. You glance at the tray, willing yourself to focus on anything else.

How awkward. How warm. 

You spot a napkin fluttering off the table, carried by a sudden draft from the door. Instinctively, you step out of your chair to grab it, but Donghyuck beats you to it, scooping it up with an exaggerated flourish and a bow.

“Your knight in shining armor,” he declares dramatically, holding it out like a trophy.

“More like my nuisance in sugar-stained armor,” you retort, snatching it from his hand.

He laughs, unabashed. “Ah, so sharp. Yet here you are, sharing cake with said nuisance. Life is full of mysteries.”

“I’m just here for the cake,” you deadpan, dusting your hands off.

For a second, his smile falters—not in hurt but in sheer disbelief. He tilts his head, studying you with an incredulous expression, and you suddenly feel like a frog under a magnifying glass.

“You really don’t get it, do you?” he says, almost to himself, his voice low but still playful.

“Get what?” you ask, genuinely confused.

Donghyuck presses his lips together, fighting back a grin. He steps closer, leaning in just enough for you to catch the faint scent of chestnut cream. “I mean, I could spell it out for you, but that might ruin the fun.”

“Spell what out?” you press, a little flustered now.

He straightens with a laugh, shaking his head. “Nothing, you airhead. Absolutely nothing. Is your head full of cotton candy, by any chance?”

You narrow your eyes at him, but before you can respond, he’s already pulling his chair back, resuming his seat with a sigh.

“Mont Blanc, Marble Eclipse, and Tiramisu on the first date,” he states, deep in thought. “Maybe Matcha Lemon, Lavender Peach, and White Chocolate on the second… Perhaps a Red Velvet and a Strawberry Shortcake before you realize I literally own this place?”

You feel the heat intensify on your cheeks. You almost miss the last part, clouded by the implications of the rest of his words. He… wants to go on more dates with you? Was this a date all along? You’ve been swindled into having fun with a man somehow. He even knows the ins and outs of a baker’s life. And he’s charming in an oddball sort of way. You shouldn’t be feeling solidarity with this weirdo. But then again, somehow, his laugh is very… endearing. 

Wait a minute.

“You- you really own the place?!” A scream dies in your throat.

Donghyuck looks positively taken aback. “So you actually weren’t aware?!”

“What do you mean? How the hell am I supposed to know?! You described yourself as a connoisseur of pastries. I thought you were some kind of freelance failure so I didn’t pry!”

“Excuse me?!”

“Well, either that or you’re unbelievably rich. But then you don’t look it. Your sleeves have flour and oil stains on them, and your shoes are all dusty too, and there’s gold flakes in your hair—okay, how did I miss this?”

“Geez, way to judge someone by their looks. I’m not taking that from the local tart snatcher.”

The retort barely registers because your brain is too busy replaying the words “I own this place.” The realization hits, and before you can think better of it, the chair screeches back as you bolt upright.

“Wait, where are you—” Donghyuck’s voice is cut off by your shrill, mortified “Bye!” as you make a beeline for the door, leaving behind a very startled staff and a half-empty tray of cakes. Immediately after your exit, you let out a shriek. 

What the hell are you doing?!

Your face burns as you speed-walk down the street, each step punctuated by the memory of your impulsive retreat. You must have cast your senses away at that moment, like some wide-eyed fool in a fairy tale, almost charmed by that silly man and his absurd little quirks. It’s not your fault, of course—it’s his, with his flour-dusted sleeves, that stupidly endearing laugh, and the way he talked about pastries like they were a love language. What was wrong with him?! you think, conveniently ignoring the fact that it was your awkwardness and runaway theatrics that had caused the scene. You’d blame it on sugar overload if it weren’t for the nagging realization that maybe—just maybe—he’d gotten under your skin, and the fact that you deserved it.

. . .

You hadn’t expected to hear from him again. Not after your embarrassing getaway. But three days later, you’re staring at an email with the subject line: "Notice of Legal Action for Unauthorized Sampling."

You open it with trembling fingers, only to find what can only be described as the world’s most dramatic—and definitely fake—lawsuit. 

Your jaw drops as you scroll through the email. He’d even attached a fake case number: #CAKE-404-NO-FUN.

The body of the email was littered with ridiculous legalese. Phrases like "egregious acts of confectionery negligence" and "failure to properly appreciate artisanal craftsmanship" were scattered between absurdly specific accusations.

There is a diagram. An actual diagram. Arrows pointing to "Exhibit A" (the Mont Blanc) and "Exhibit B" (the empty spot on the tray), annotated with notes like "victim of hasty consumption" and "left to fend for itself."

And then, at the very bottom, there it was—the pièce de résistance:

“This suit may be settled by one (1) heartfelt apology and one (1) coffee date at the aforementioned bakery. Should you require legal counsel, I suggest bringing your A-game. I am, after all, a connoisseur of arguments… and pastries. 😉”

You groan, head thunking against the back of your chair. The audacity. The drama. The fuckass emojis. 

This man is getting to you.

Your first reaction is, of course, panic. Your second? Rage. And by the time you storm into the bakery at ass o’clock before it even opens, Donghyuck is waiting for you, leaning against the counter like he owns the place. (Which he does, actually.)

He’s propped on his elbows, his posture easy and unhurried, as if he’s been expecting you. The black apron around his waist is slightly askew, and his beige T-shirt bears faint streaks of flour across the chest, a testament to an already busy morning. His fluffy brown hair is an artful mess, the kind that looks unintentional but infuriatingly perfect, with a few errant strands curling over his forehead. There’s a streak of something golden—sugar, maybe?—on his cheek, catching the light as he tilts his head to regard you with an expression that’s equal parts curious and smug.

“You’re early,” he remarks, his voice low and teasing, as though he isn’t the root of all evil.

“You think this is funny?” you demand, shoving your phone in his face.

Donghyuck grins, unbothered. “Hilarious, actually. Did it get your attention?”

“You can’t just send someone a fake legal notice!”

“Worked, didn’t it?” He shrugs, leaning back with infuriating calmness. “Besides, you owed me an explanation for your Houdini act. You know, poor Kimi had to clear your tray. She almost cried.”

“She did not!”

As if on cue, Kimi pokes her head out of the kitchen. “Oh, she absolutely did. It was tragic,” she deadpans before ducking back in.

You groan, feeling your cheeks grow hotter by the second. “You’re unbelievable.”

Donghyuck leans back, smug as ever, and gestures to the email still open on your phone. “Unbelievable or resourceful? Let’s review: I sent a single, harmless message—full of creativity and wit, I might add—and look where we are.”

“At me wanting to strangle you?”

“At you running right to me,” he corrects, his grin widening. “What, were you worried?”

“Don’t flatter yourself,” you snap. “I’m here because—” 

You stop, realizing you don’t have a decent answer. “I didn’t want to give you the satisfaction of thinking I took you seriously.”

“Oh, you absolutely took me seriously.” He nods sagely. “I saw the panic in your eyes. Admit it: for a second, you thought you were going to have to pay me a hundred grand or grovel at my feet.”

“I- ugh- fuck you!” is all you can muster, stepping forward without thinking.

He mirrors your movement, the space between you shrinking by degrees. 

“But seriously, you ghosted me, and I had to get creative. What the hell was I supposed to do? I figured the legal drama might get my point across.”

“What point?”

“That I wanted to see you again.” The words come out so easily, so matter-of-fact, you don’t know how to respond. When you finally glance up, he’s watching you closely, his expression uncharacteristically sincere.

“Just because you’re all cute and covered in flour like the star of some indie chef movie doesn’t mean you get to toy with me.”

“Ha! You’re presumptuous—despite all the fine details on me you seem to observe.” He leans in. “But guess what, I’m a greedy bastard that loves attention. So, look closer.”

And you look anywhere but his lips, too pink and too plush, as your face grows hotter than a convection oven on broil.

“Don’t flatter yourself,” you manage, staring resolutely at the display of cakes. “That hardly counts as details.”

“Details,” he echoes, his grin growing wider. “Like the way I look at you?”

“You’re just a flirt,” you mutter.

He gasps, mock-offended, and gestures dramatically to the kitchen. “Kimi, did you hear that? I’m just a flirt!”

“You said it, not me,” Kimi calls back without missing a beat.

You laugh despite yourself, the sound surprising you. And Donghyuck doesn’t miss it. His gaze softens, the teasing edge in his voice dropping slightly. “There it is. I knew you could laugh without running away.”

You roll your eyes. “Don’t get used to it.”

“Too late.”

For a moment, the air shifts, the humor giving way to something quieter. Donghyuck’s gaze lingers—not on your awkward posture or flushed cheeks, but on you, as though trying to piece together something he doesn’t quite understand.

“What?” you finally ask, defensive.

“Nothing.” He shakes his head, but there’s a small, genuine smile now. “Just... you’re such a fidgety person.”

“Are you trying to shell out an insult?”

“No, I mean, I always see you scuttling here and there. Always on the move. Always observing, but never stopping long enough to be seen. You just… don’t seem like someone who takes much time for yourself.”

You blink, caught off guard. He tilts his head, like he’s trying to figure out if he’s crossed a line.

“I’m wrong?” he asks, almost sheepishly.

“I—” You pause, unsure of how to respond. “You’re nosy, that’s what you are.”

“That’s a yes,” he decides, grinning again.

Donghyuck chuckles, leaning just a little closer, his warm brown eyes locking onto yours. “Tell you what,” he says, his voice dropping to a murmur, “I’ll prove I’m not just nosy. Let me take you out. Somewhere you don’t have to bolt out the door halfway through.”

“You think I’d agree to that?” you retort, though your words lack bite. The proximity is doing something to your brain, and you’re acutely aware of how close he’s leaned in.

His grin is confident and infuriating. “I think you’d be curious enough to say yes.”

Your breath hitches as you realize how little space is left between the two of you, your noses almost brushing. “Woah,” you whisper, trying to play it off, “my mommy warned me about boys like you. All up close and personal with flour in their hair.”

He raises a brow, unrepentant. “Smart woman. But she didn’t tell you we’re pretty good at first dates, did she?”

You can’t help the laugh that escapes, soft but genuine. “Fine,” you say, straightening up and taking a step back before your pulse betrays you further. “But you’re paying. And no weird cakes this time.”

“Deal,” he replies, his smile softer now, more sincere.

And for a moment, you believe it—not just the act, not just the cakes and the banter, but the idea that maybe, somehow, this strange, sugar-dusted series of events has led to something real.

. . .

r/AmITheAsshole

u/YeastMode6969 • 16h

UPDATE: I faked my engagement for free cake samples then got sued after I ran away. AIO?

Fine, you guys were right. We’re dating now. Let’s just say we’ve been filling my cream puffs lately  🫠

Edit: I also got the Mont Blanc recipe!!

⥣ 7.7k ⥥ 3,297 Comments

kimikakes • 13h

KIMI HERE, REPORTING LIVE FROM THE SCENE: they literally argued over frosting consistency for half an hour yesterday. This relationship is built on chaos and croissants.

➥ Reply ⥣ 7.1k ⥥

bun_theory0222 • 2h

Hellooo where are the recipes. Priorities, OP :/

➥ Reply ⥣ 4.1k ⥥

lil_sugar_daddy0813 • 1h

man i was betting on donghyuck dying alone i dont wanna lose my $20

➥ Reply ⥣ 1.3k ⥥

muffinbutdrama1122 • 1h Give me your money NYEOW ➥ Reply ⥣ 1.7k ⥥

soggywaffle0205 • 6m why are you suddenly a furry ➥ Reply ⥣ 1.1k ⥥

muffinbutdrama1122 • 1h pays the bills ➥ Reply ⥣ 2.7k ⥥

[lowkeyrobin]

Hello!! If your requests are open, could you do a mcyt x reader we're they're like in a pool video like the video with quackity and Tommy in the pool litteraly next to his pc... I don't know if I explain good its my first time requesting and english is not my first langage.

Thank you and if you don't do it its okay !

ooo okay yeah ik what ur talking about lol ; and don't worry your English is really good! :)) ; thank you for requesting, hope you enjoy! ; also only did these 4 cause i didn't have many ideas 😔

MCYT ; pool stream

includes ; tommyinnit, quackity, foolish & slimecicle

warnings ; language

masterlist

TOMMYINNIT

jesus christ its such a mess

there's water EVERYWHERE

and there's probably water damage seeping under his carpet into the floor

you got a pool floatie and some water guns and were playing w them and splashing around for a while...

the pool was like 3/5 filled when the stream started and about 2/5 afterward...

you exposed his forehead, which is now the intro to a large handful of edits

you used the pool water to make instant ramen... and it sucked, no shit

had a little mermaid role-play too 💀💀 who needs the ocean when u have a kiddy pool, tommy, and a dream

ALEX QUACKITY

surprisingly pretty calm

you ate a pizza in the pool

he dropped a piece tho... wasn't tasty

you got a bunch of water toys to mess with and test out

you both get some water on his pc and he almost freaks bc he was waiting for it to all crash... it was alr

you couldn't stop splashing each other LMAO

any petty comment or roast earns you nasty sink water in the face

he got some big flamingo floatie and you laid on it for most the stream

he kept kicking you in the water

"why and how r you wearing socks rn"

"theyre not getting free footshots tf?"

FOOLISH GAMERS

so much kicking, you both have sore, bruised legs in the morning

did some karaoke as well

and recreated some scenes from the little mermaid

"testing how waterproof my phone is! you won't believe what happens!!!"

"y/n that's my phone!"

you got some water guns and got a little carried away... some of the things on his shelves were a little soaked after that 💀

somehow his pc was immune to water damage cause??

you found so many edits of you guys later just having a watergun fight n stupid shit but the edits were adorable 💀

CHARLIE SLIMECICLE

office pool karaoke goes absolutely insane

the neighbors could probably hear you bro

you overestimated how big the pool was and got a floatie that COULDNT EVEN FIT INSIDE...

he kept the giant duck floatie in his office as decor

he gave himself a kind of mohawk since the water kept his hair in place for the most part

queue a two hour mermaid role-play montage with non-copyright fantasy music in the back

"Charles Bartholomew III, I didn't expect to find you here?"

"I thought my name was Charles Bartholomew Sylvester Buhl-Freiherr von und zu Guttenberg?"

"I can't remember allat"

[prettypinkporkchop]

Can I request a Paul x reader where Paul imprinted on reader but they just fucking hate him because reader and Paul where like each other's worst enemy's before he shifted and Paul has to convince reader that he's not the worst person on earth

B

R

U

H

YESSSSSS I GOTCHU

The Love side

Paul Lahote.

Your enemy.

All through school, he has hated you, and you've hated him. It's because he had beaten up your good friend. Not only that, but he was a player, and you HATE players. He tried to get in bed with you once at a party, but you slapped him.

"Oh, you've done it y/l/n. Watch yourself, little girl." He spits and shoves past you. "Fuck. You." You turn around. He stops, faces you, and then smiles. "I will make you regret that."

He sure did. Every day, he would make fun of you. He threatened to beat up your friend again just to make you mad. His exact words were, "I don't hit women. But I will make y/n cry."

One day, he stopped showing up. He was gone. It was the best feeling ever. You were free. When he came back, you were angry. You had a class together, and you ended up locking eyes.

That is when everything fell apart. Now, you have to be around him. He has to be around you. His mean attitude has slightly changed. But, you give him attitude which upsets him. You kind of love making him mad in hopes this stupid imprint thing goes away. Your dynamic annoys the pack. They wish you guys would just shut up and be a healthy relationship.

Here you guys are, in his truck.

"You are one stupid boy, Paul." You yell at him because you saw a girl he had fucked in high school. "Don't be childish. She means nothing." He growls and starts the truck. You step out and make your way down the rocky dirt road.

He jumps out too and grabs your elbow. "In the truck, now." He says sternly. You push him back, but he doesn't budge. "Don't call me childish when YOU are the man whore!"

"Why does it matter to you anyway?!" He yells and steps closer to you. His breathing is rough. "Because you imprinted on me, and I'm jealous. But I'm mad, and I know I mean nothing. You will hurt me, too." His breathing slows down. "I'll never hurt you. You need to understand that." He says quietly.

That night, you knock on Paul's bedroom door. He HAS to have you at his house during the night, or else he can't protect you due to territory issues with the vampires. Thankfully, you sleep on the couch.

He opens the door, and you stare at him with annoyance. "Ya know, the couch is very uncomfortable." You cross your arms. "Bro, I'm not in the mood. Just take the bed." He pushes past you. "I'm not sleeping in your nasty bed. I'm going home." You argue. You walk back to the living room to put your stuff in your bag. He grabs your arm with a firm grip, pulling you up to face him. "You're not going anywhere." He glares. "I. Hate. You." You hiss. Something in his eyes changed. "I don't like when you say that." His voice is still stern. You scoff and cross your arms. "Dude, like I care. You're a piece of shit. You're only keeping me around so that you don't have to deal with the physical pain of being away from me."

Something inside Paul had caught on fire. His heart is actually breaking. He can't take this anymore! He does love you.

"Can you at least stay with Emily? Kim?" He asks softly. "Okay." He sighs of relief, and you notice how genuine he seems.

'It's only because of the imprint.'

He drives you to Emily and Sam's.

You and Emily ended up staying up watching movies on the couch. You guys ended up having a deep 3 a.m girl talk.

"I'm just so mad about it being him!" You groan in your tired state. She yawns and nods her head. "I know, sweetie. Just tell me, would you ever change your mind about him?" She adjusts the blanket over her.

You take a big deep long breath, thinking.

"Mm, he'd have to really show me. He's hurt so many people. He played with girls' hearts. He was a fuck boy! Geez." You put your hand over your face. "Well, let the universe take part. Sit back and see what happens. Be nicer to him. It's not a forced bond. There's always been something there." She smiles.

You wake up to Emily cooking in the kitchen. You sit up and walk to the table, sitting down. "Oh! I hope I didn't wake you." She awkwardly bites her lip. "You did, but it's because of food, so I'm not complaining." You giggle.

You realize you look bad. Pajamas, hair's a mess, no makeup.

You go to their bathroom with your bag and fix yourself up.

You step out and see the pack sitting around. You see Paul looking down at his hands that are placed on the table.

Emily's advice plays in your head. Be nicer. You will be, but you won't give in until he shows he's a good guy. You refuse to get hurt.

You walk up to him and kneel down beside him. He looks down at you, confused. "You alright?" You ask kind of nicely? He looks surprised and smiles at you. "Uhm, I will be." He breathes out.

His brown eyes are stuck on yours. His mood has lifted a bit because you acknowledged him and somewhat showed you care. This is a good sign to him.

You stand up and see the boys side eyeing you and eating. "Y/n, I left something on my couch for you. You actually left it." He looks up at you.

What could you have left?

"Thanks." You say dryly. Paul stands up and pushes the chair in. "I'll drive you." He offers. Kim notices your face. She stands up and puts a hand on your shoulder. "I'll take you, y/n. I'll drop you off at home after you pick it up."

You look at her and nod your head, "thank you." You smile.

Being somewhat nice to Paul is hard.

You open the door to Paul's house and walk over to his couch. There's a brown paper bag with handles. You open it up.

Inside is a tiny black box. You open it, and there's a necklace. It's a beautiful necklace that you have been looking at for a while. It's expensive as shit! "No. Fucking. Way." You mumble. Under the necklace is a note. You pick up the necklace, placing it down on your lap, and open the piece of paper.

'I swear, when I think of you, the mountains before me move. Believe me when I say this: I love you.'

You forget how to breathe. Your hands become shaky. You put the note down and open the bag again. A fluffy blanket that's swirled and tied with ribbon into a bow. In the ribbon is another note.

'For when my blanket is too gross for you to sleep in. I promise I do clean them.'

You giggle a little bit. You dig inside again, and there's a bracelet. He definitely made it.

You put on the necklace and bracelet. You put the blanket back in the bag and walk back to Kim's car. "What was it?" She asks. "A blanket!" You giggle.

You're settling in at home. You did laundry, some work on your laptop, and made yourself food.

You sit on your bed, scrolling through tiktok. Your phone dings.

Paul: how are you feeling?

Y/n: good. Thank you for the gifts.

Paul: you're welcome, beautiful. I have a question.

Y/n: what

Paul: date?

You groan in annoyance. Your mind plays out every mean thing he said to you before phasing. All of the girls he had hurt. The innocent dudes he fought because they breathed wrong.

But, his beautiful eyes. His sexy face. His body. His hands. His smile. His laugh. His electrifying touch.

Y/n: it's going to take a lot of convincing to get me to be yours.

Paul: I know. I'll wait forever.

Y/n: did you make the bracelet?

Paul: yes ma'am. I'm sorry if you don't like it. I can redo it for you.

What a suck up!!!

Y/n: it's perfect.

A couple of days later, the pack is at Jacob's house. They're helping him fix up a motorcycle. You, Emily, and Kim join in.

You girls sit on lawn chairs near the garage. Emily looks at your wrist and smirks. "Things going well?" She asks. You lean back in the chair and sigh. "I mean, I'm being nice.... enough. He's showering me in gifts. He's trying to take me on a date." You roll your eyes. "What's so bad about that? He's showing you he wants you and only you." Kim says. You know this deep down. But, it doesn't change who he was... is. You don't know anymore.

Paul, Jared, and Sam make their way to you girls. Paul smiles at you and gently grabs your hand. You leave it like that for two seconds but wiggle your hand out of his grip. He doesn't say anything.

"I want to show you something, if you'll let me." He looks at you with almost a pleading face. You get curious and look around his face for any sign of something bad.

It's just sweetness. You can feel the passion radiating off of him. "Okay, Paul." You actually say his name without anger.

This makes his heart jump. His stomach does a flip. He just wants to take you by the hand and kiss you.

You lock your fingers with his and stand up.

He leads you into the woods. "There's a specific spot. You okay?" He turns to face you. You guys have been walking for a hot while. "I'm fine." You lie. Your feet are killing you. He squints at you and then walks to you. He lifts your bridal style. "What the hell?" You squirm. "I can tell your feet are hurting. Let me help you."

Finally, you guys get to this stream of water. There are rocks planted perfectly like a path. The sound of the water is soothing. There is a tree that has fallen, which is where he places you down.

"I was patrolling and found this. It made me think of you." He sits next to you. You look over at him as he watches the stream.

"Ya know, I never meant to hurt those girls in school. I was punishing myself." He sighs. You turn your body to his. You're shocked he's opening up.

"I never hated you. I was trying to stop myself and you from ever falling. But I've always liked you. I was just young, dumb, oblivious." He looks at you. "I'd do anything for you. I hope you believe me. I'm sorry for how I was. I will forever live with that guilt, and I deserve it. I deserve no pity. But, I am so sorry." He shakes his head and his eyes get watery.

You fall.

You fell.

You love him.

"Oh, Paul." You grab his face and kiss him. He's taken aback but kisses you back. His hand wraps around your wrist gently.

Later that night, you are at his house. You are sleeping on the couch again. You are staring at the ceiling and can't stop thinking about him. His lips taste so good. His touch is like fire.

You get up and open his door slowly. His room is dark, and you can hear very quiet snoring. You make your way to his bed. You crawl under the blanket next to him. He slightly groans and shifts. He turns around, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling your back into him. Your butt is against him. You lift your head and turn it. You can't see his face, but you feel his lips on yours. The kiss is rough, and his hands slide down to your hip, near your ass. He pulls away and nuzzles his face in your neck. "Not yet."

You wake up, wrapped up in his arms and content. "I love you." You mumble to Paul. "I love you too, my girl." He kisses your cheek.

[futurecorps3]

I saw your Hobie x latina going going to the club para perrear and I loved it😭🤞🏼😩

BUT

Imagine Hobie going to a cantina with a mexican reader and just drink and hear corridos tristes (el video del vato que dice "porque que te quiero" y le meten el micrófono a la boca😭💀) or rather going to a cantina goes to her house and her family is making carne asada and drinking beer and there's literally a band in the party (soy norteña perdoname😭) and he is like "this food is bussing bussing" because he is British and their food is just "no good💖". At first he is nervous like he doesn't know what to do and at the end he is somehow riding a horse or he is playing with the band, he just loves it, the vibe and the food

(Love how you write 😭💖)

Hobie Brown meeting latina!reader's family <3

Masterlist <3

Ay hermana, soy chilanga we don't have horses up in this bitch😭 I tried to make it more general like Bee meeting your tías and primos but def adding the whole carne asada deal. (For my non-mexican readers, we call people from the city "chilangos" and northern people "norteños" and while we're from the same country, our experiences can be very different!). Also, tysm my dear, hope u like<3

-First off

-Giggling and kicking my feet 🤭

-Bro was persistent in meeting your family, and while you weren't exactly reluctant, you did have to warn him

-"Why not!? I want to meet your uncle Luis or- or Saúl!" He exclaims, recalling the stories you've told about your family members. "I'm not saying no, mi amor. I-It's just-" "What?" He grins, knowing you don't really have a solid argument. He kisses your pout and walks over to your room to get ready as you sigh, defeated by your pretty once more.

-Of course you wanted Bee to meet your family! But we all know how it can get at those big family gathering.

-One thing was meeting your parents, (which went by spectacularly, by the way) but him hanging out with your older tíos and younger primos was a whole other deal

-They aren't bad people, you love them dearly. It was the soft (hard and relentless) teasing (borderline bullying) you were worried about.

-It was easy to understand their humor when you grew up with heavy jokes, but Hobie would be new to all this. Plus, he was the first official boyfriend you'd introduce to the family! They were protective and honestly not afraid to show it.

-"Buenas tardes, Hobie Brown. Mucho gusto" you say slowly as you're both on the way to your tío's house, he repeats after you with a horrible accent. "Roll your r's!" You giggle, looking at him intently while softly showing him how to pronounce.

-He's really trying for you bestie </3

-Yeah he went blank after your aunt opened the door and dismissed his polite handshake with a bone-crushing hug.

-"Ay mija! He's so tall, I can barely hug him right. Pásenle, pásenle, Luis is in the garden with the kids. Welcome Hobie!"

-Bee just smiles and it widens when a horde of kids comes running down the hall and bolt towards you, saying hello to their favorite aunt and the strange bato she brought along.

-"Tía Y/N/N who is this?" Luisa (the youngest) asks, eyeing Hobie up and down with the sass of an old lady, making him suppress a laugh "Es tu novio?" now questions one of the boys, looking up at him amazed. "Hello brats" he smirks, high-fiving each and every one of your nieces and nephews excitedly.

-"You didn't tell me you were a tía already..." "Some of them will be by the age of sixteen, so I'm no rare event."

-Hobie is hard to lose on a crowd; all spikes, leather, chunky boots, and piercings

-Your nephews are thrilled.

-Asking all around about what his pins mean, if he finds it hard to walk with those boots, if he's not too hot with his jacket... you know, the type of questions kids ask.

-You laugh at him, trying to answer one question at a time patiently, and walk over to the table outside where your tíos, tías, primos, primas, cuñadas and some sobrinos were.

-"Y el novio mija?" Asks one of your tíos, already in a deffensive tone "He's inside con los niños, tío. Ahorita viene" you smile and promptly, Hobie walks through the door after the kids.

-The smokey scent of the carne asada filled his nostrils as soon as he walked outside, widening his eyes at how good it smelled. You walk over to him, grabbing his arm and smiling widely at your family

-"Les presento a Hobie, mi novio" you beam and your tíos can tell he truly makes you happy. "Yo no te di permiso, Y/N" one of them jokes, making everyone laugh and Bee follows after you translate for him.

-And he didn't like it but he really cared about their opinions

-He didn't give a single fuck of what other people had to say, but this was your family!!! He knew he was close and for the first time, strived for perfection

-The next few minutes were him trying really hard to memorize all the names, having a hard time pronouncing your aunt Rocio and Rosa's names.

-Everyone laughed at his attempts

-You sit between everyone at the large table, one of your tíos approaching you as you're too busy catching up with one of your cousins. Bee squeezes your hand to catch your attention, but you don't turn back to look at him, instead just squeeze back.

-He nervously places his hand out, and contrary to before, your uncle welcomes it. "Buenas tardes, Hobie" (oubi😭con acento mexa) "Buenas tardes, señor". God, did he rehearse that on the way...

-Your uncle seemed to appreciate him at least trying to talk to him in your mother tongue. He gave him kind of a smile and asked "Wanna help me with the asador over there?"

-Oh this was a test

-"Sure thing" he nods confidently even though he's shitting himself at the moment

-When he saw the carne asada let me tell you

-His mouth watered, heart eyes all over and he swore he was about to do that floating thing he's seen spider pig do

-Your tío taught him how to turn the steaks at the right time, after some aceite jumped and burnt him a bit :( your uncle could tell he was trying hard so he took it easy on him

-Personally? You fell in love all over again when he contained his tears the best he could at the smell and spice of the chiles floating so close to his nose <3

-You slapped his ass playfully when serving the food and he just smirked as your uncle side eyed you HARD

-“Bloody hell this shit is fucking amazing babe!” He almost moans when he bites into the taco of asada you made for him

-Your family might or might not know english but they know how bad words sound lmao

-They couldn’t blame him tho, not after he proved to love asada as much as them with the eight tacos he ate ☹️💕

-Him playing with the babies of your family bro :(

-He's so good with kids too

-I'm talking playing with them, having full conversations no matter how silly they got, following their train of thought and even making sure they weren't up to some stupid shit

-Girl, if you don't rail him stupid after that-

-He got along with your older cousins too!!! After all, they shared a similar taste in music and films so there was plenty to talk about

-Your tías chismeando with you about how handsome he is

-Let’s wrap it up, I got carried away and this is too damn long 😭

-He’s talking to one of your tías when the banda arrived at around 9 p.m

-My man is so confused please help him

-His spidey sense went off before the whole fucking commotion started lmao

-When he realized it was a live group playing and singing traditional music he lost his shit

-Asked you all about it!!! “What is that piano thing!?”, “What is he singing about?”, “Can I learn how to play that?”<3

-Eventually (and with no alcohol needed since he refused to risk doing some stupid shit with your family) he ended up dancing with your tía, her patiently teaching him how to move

-He had a hard time with his big ass boots but somehow managed!!

-Hobie was so happy when you went home ☹️ almost asking when you could come back and if you could cook some carne asada the same way your uncle (his best friend, he called him) did

-“Yo te amo mi amor” He smiled big, kissing you softly before falling asleep “Thanks for letting me meet your family… meant a whole lot y’know?” “‘Course corazón, seeing you there with everyone filled my heart with a joy I have rarely experienced”

-And with that you fell asleep, Hobie dreamt of asada and banda<3

[6okuto]

hai everypony. used some of u and ur ocs as my muses for a little (big) (rough) spread :3 So u know u r perceived and enjoyed.

if ur surprised because we don't talk um. i recognize ur user and or did some tag lurking so. hey... um. Hey...... tags and notes under the cut!

@khalixvitae - KHALIX ! do not know this guy At All but i decided to mix things up and use him!! if u have any thoughts to share abt vil i'm all ears! >__<

@sweet-milky-tea705 - JAYCE! yasenia. smoking duck gif. is anything else needed 2 say... i didn't forget her ears i just. upside down. hair. and. giuspelazpe

@koyukiki - Leon Kennedy. LMAO he's literally the most random guy on here. "why hoseok da bus driver" vibe LIKEHEEBFHSB but u know. hiii koyuki!!

@shobvrry - wehehehe... hiii friend,, little shoto for u!! :3 do u like the placement of frozen joke bear. get it. bc. because. he. and. get it

@dira333 - kENMA!! this is evidently Not the thing i wanted to give u but. this has taken a while and i actually want 2 redo the other thing so. haii dira!! \o/

@satorisoup - tHe Only self ship other than me on here. based it on ur existing self ship comms and picrews.. R ur eyes green. like. ..IMCRYING . ROCK ON LENE!

@last0bread - !! azalea has SUCH a cool + unique design!! she's also quite satisfying to draw?? LOL. i also like doodling flowers so thanks for letting me do that :3 🩷 /silly

@mustddart - oh my god i didn't know u changed users and just got so scared. I rock w these guys. i don't know their dynamic i based it solely on this post (& it being percy) but I ROCK W THEM!!! U r one of the people i recognize by user btw. Hiiii stay awesome!!!! 🩷🩷

@luv-indigo - SOOO lovely!! loved reading about nadine and seeing her in each step ^__^ !! i recognize u by user too. Haiii all ur art and ocs r super nice and cool!!! 🙆🏻‍♀️🩷

@vaultureculture - bro i am rocking w this design so hard. elvia is stunning like okkk???!! leander i see u. i get u 🙂‍↕️🔥 phlomis is also Awesome i love the dynamics and story going on IM ROCKING SO HEAVY!!

@kandy-katz - omg. i did the chibi first and by the time i got to the last empty space i realized sol was the only one who was a sole (haha) chibi and !! 😭 i felt so bad bc his full design is SO SO cool so he's here twice. HE'S AWESOME!! 🩷🙆🏻‍♀️

@dreamtydraw - smoking duck gif. apple bag trio.. lOVE THEM!! 🩷💌 wasn't originally gonna do all 3 but i saw this pose and thought it was silly and fun.. yeagh. all ur ocs are always so lovely and unique!!! everypony reading this go check dreamty on itch.io and play all 5 games NOW!!!

@evanox - SARA RAAAHHHH!!!! saraahhhhh!!.???? haha get it. ...just looks like i spelt ur name wrong. Let's carry on. MAEHWA!!! 😭🩷🩷 worked off jayce's art I hope she looks ok. sage is drunk and saying something stupid /affectionate Idk what.. hehe she's lovely!!

@anonymous-eggy - Big Fan of masks and i love this one. HIS DESIGN IS SO FUN!! i finished drawing them the fastest fr fr i want that shirt so bAD and their hair is so nice yeahh i rock w az HEAVY!! 🩷🩷

@someiicecube - cannot overstate how heavy i rock w esther. u hooked me at an awesome stunning design and reeled me in w reading too many romance books and wishing it was him. so me. SO COOL!!! 🩷🩷

da process........

yeahgh. 👍 i wud like to draw some for real in the future but actually if i draw anything in the next few days my brain will explodeo.

[ricegobbler]

TFP CONS X FEM!CON READER HCS PT.2!

ok so this is part 2. Uhm. I should’ve done this sooner but I’ve been busy😢 good news is im opening requests soon! Ok anyways enjoyyy! (Prob gon make a pt.3)

Oh and btw I’m like having a tiny break rn so I made this out of boredom. So everytime I post smth is mostly bc of boredom😢

Yall might be like “why are you making posts even if your requests r closed?” Like i said, im bored and every post i post is made when i have a break. My breaks dont rlly last long so yeah. And doing requests with only like and hour break or smth isn’t enough time in my opinion, srry. (Hope that made sense..)

(Breakdown, Soundwave, Shockwave)

REQUESTS STILL CLOSED‼️‼️‼️

Warnings‼️: mentions of figthing(s)

—————————————-

Breakdown:

-One of our favorite strong boys☺️

-honestly, just like knockout, he would be interested in meeting you but since he’s in the medbay he’s gonna have to hear about you from rumors or Starscream.

-The first time he saw you was at a meeting, you didn’t interact at all, but he atleast saw you and thought you were beautiful.

-I honestly could see this man day dreaming abt u in the med bay like:

Knockout organizing his supplies in the Medbay, “Breakdown, why are you so silent all of a sudden?-“ turns around to see Breakdown day dreaming. “Oh primus..” Knockout mumbled..

Random silence in the Medbay.

“Y/n is so pretty..” Breakdown suddenly said, leaving Knockout just face planting himself.

-Then the day finally came, the day he finally had a chance to speak to you.

-you were coming into the Medbay, wounded from a fight against the Autobots. As you came in you met optics with Breakdown, then Knockout.

-After Knockout fixed you up, Breakdown quickly started a conversation with you.

“Hello,” Breakdown started, your optics widen a bit at the sudden voice but you turn around and see the blue mech look at you sweetly, “hello?…you’re Breakdown, right?..” you ask a little awkwardly.

-After the two of you introduced yourselves, the two of you were quickly close.

-Everyday you’d visit the Medbay when they’re slow and no injured vehicons or others, talking to Breakdown. Knockout would sometimes smirk at Breakdown as he’d talk to you, you didn’t find that out until after you became mates with Breakdown. (I think they’re called conjuxes?? I forgot, ima use mates for now-)

-Speaking of mates, the day finally came when Breakdown confessed to you. He confessed to you a little nervously, I could see him stuttering a bit and rubbing the back of his neck canes with a servo, or fidgeting with his fingers instead. You have got to accept his love bc what he said to you was so adorable 😢

-he’d definitely call you either “love” or just “my spark.” PDA?? Yes, he wants to let others know your his. How he kisses? Pretty passionate. He’d also become protective of you, and he’d BEG you to come to the Medbay since he’s mostly in there all day.

Soundwave:

-MY NUMBER ONE FAV WAVE😍😍

-he’s soo..WHXBDHRIEJNX

-anyways.

-when you first arrived he didn’t care or say anything, he literally can’t say anything at all tho so🤷🏻‍♀️ bros a mute💀

-I feel like he’d show you around the Nemesis kinda like how Starscream would. Or, he would go over important things you needed to know by playing a recording of Megatron talking abt that kind of stuff.

-When the day you fought the Autobots for the first time since you joined them he was in awe. A fem like you having strength like that? Ofc he knows he’s stronger tho so.

-The next time you’d see him after your battle he would silently just stand infront of you.

Soundwave standing infront of you, looking down/up at you. “Uhm..Soundwave?..why have you blocked my way..” you ask, he then plays a recording going like, “Y/N-strong-very-strong-it-is-impressive.”

Your optics widened but you just smiled at him, “oh thank you, Soundwave..” he then placed a smiley face on his visor and walked away.

-Everytime there would be a meeting you’d see him plaster a smile on his visor and you’d smile back. He’s too silly.

-I feel like you’d fall first. Why? Idk. He’s too silly to resist. I mean, am I wrong tho???

-When he’d fall for you he’d either confess to you by using a recording, or show you smth he typed on his visor. (Like a poem ykyk)

-he wouldn’t call you any names. Bc. Yk. But he would let you watch some things on his visor when not busy. You found the show, “my little pony.” How? Just know that Megatron may or may not have watched it once and you saw.

-Since Soundwave doesn’t rlly have a mouth you just kiss him on the visor and he’d place a smiley face, holding you around the waist. PDA?? Ehhh…yes. Just maybe not infront of Megatron.

Shockwave:

-illogical my ass once eye mf.

-jk I love this mad scientist <33

-he did not gaf abt ur arrival. At. All. Like he’s busy tryna make some shit in his lab 😢

-but, the first time he ever saw you was when you explored the Nemesis alone and entered his lab.

“What is the purpose of your arrival..” Shockwave asked, “nothing. Just..lookin around..” you say back

-he wanted you OUT. Like go away bitch🙄

-but you didn’t, so you just stayed and started chatting with him as he did work. Sometimes when Shockwave either needed smth yours grab it for him.

-or, when he makes a mistake (which will probably never happen bc he’s a smart ass) you’d correct him. You’d then start talkin abt science things which perks his interest with you. He hates your humor tho.

“Would you like to hear something humorous?” You ask, “no. Jokes are illogical.” He responded, continuing his work.

-rude.

-honestly it’d take a whileeeee for yall to click. He’d start falling for you eventually tho. His confession wasn’t anything sweet, it was just some straight up confession.

-one day in the lab you wanted to help Shockwave out, and once it got all quiet between yall he literally just blurted, “I’ve grown some feelings for you.” Smth like that.

-of course you felt the same. You had to. He has big boobs😍

-I feel like he’d call you “little one” or “my spark” how he kisses?? Blud don’t got a mouth. You’d kiss his helm tho softly, and PDA?? Only in his lab, he’s kinda serious, but he loves you dearly and would protect you. He’d also make you things himself like gifts! <33

————————————-

Ok this one’s kinda bad tbh. I’m sorry☹️ I’ll do a pt.3 as soon as I can! Sorry for how late this is too btw!!

[st4rb3rries]

hiii love your writing ❤️ !! can I request hcs of the main 4’s music tastes? + maybe who’s likely to do things like make a playlist for someone?

SOUTH PARK'S MAIN 4 MUSIC TASTES ♫꒰･◡･๑꒱

pairings; none!

summary; music taste hc's that i thought of

warnings; slight cussing, kanye west

a/n; HIII AND TYYY THIS WAS FUN TO WRITE HOPE U LIKE IT:3 i tried my best sorrry if this isn't accurate!!!

STAN MARSH

first off stan would most likely make a dedicated playlist for both of you guys!! i hc that he listens to current joys, radiohead, weezer, and the weeknd. maybe even some tv girl and childish gambino!! HE ALSO LISTENS TO ALSO SWEET TRIP!!! his music taste is a mix of sad indie and maybe r&b. he definitely listens to the weeknd when he's practicing his rizz. (just like me fr) you introduced him into childish gambino and the weeknd and bro was in another dimension. he hasn't stopped listening to them since. here's an idea of y'alls playlist ↴ (obviously there's more songs)

NOW PLAYING: CRYING WITH RIZZ PLAYLIST

◁◁ ▐ ▌ ▷▷

kids - current joys 0:00 ───ㅇ───── 4:29

me and your mama - childish gambino 0:00 ───ㅇ───── 6:19

i just threw up the love of my dreams - weezer 0:00 ───ㅇ───── 2:37

song about me - tv girl 0:00 ───ㅇ───── 4:03

how to disappear completely - radiohead 0:00 ───ㅇ───── 5:56

the hills - the weekend 0:00 ───ㅇ───── 4:03

acting - sweet trip 0:00 ───ㅇ───── 7:05

KYLE BROVFLOSKI

yes he would make a playlist for you. this time this playlist is songs that remind him of you. it's a secret playlist that no one knows but him. (he's totally not in love with you) kyle listens to steve lacy, the smiths, and the cure. ok maybe even some tyler the creator?? i totally feel like he vibes with tyler's flower boy album. he also listens to tame impala and pet shop boys for sure. basically stans music taste but in a different font. i guess this is called indie pop with a mix of 80s-90s music. his playlist for you ↴

NOW PLAYING: SONGS THAT REMIND ME OF Y/N :))

◁◁ ▐ ▌ ▷▷

uuuu - steve lacy 0:00 ───ㅇ───── 1:30

there is light that never goes out - the smiths 0:00 ───ㅇ───── 4:04

why can't i be you - the cure 0:00 ───ㅇ───── 3:14

awkward - tyler the creator 0:00 ───ㅇ───── 3:47

music to walk home by - tame impala 0:00 ───ㅇ───── 5:12

friday im in love- pet shop boys 0:00 ───ㅇ───── 3:34

KENNY MCORMICK

i think kenny listens to bimbo girly pop songs asf. like he's all man outside in but in the inside he has the mentality of a dumb bimbo $lut🤭. he definitely makes a playlist for the both of you. the playlist's name is called pu$$y poppin songs. like kenny be so fr 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄. KENNY LISTENS TO 3OH!3 LIKE YESSSS BROO. he also listens to ayesha erotica and millionaires. HELPPP MAYBE EVEN AZEALIA BANKS😭. kenny also listens to yung gravy AND KESHA FOR SUREEEE ALSO ICP. your playlist that he made for y'all ↴

NOW PLAYING: PU$$Y POPPIN SONGS

◁◁ ▐ ▌ ▷▷

donttrustme - 3OH!3 0:00 ───ㅇ───── 3:12

big juicy - ayesha erotica 0:00 ───ㅇ───── 3:26

hey rich boy hey - millionaires 0:00 ───ㅇ───── 2:48

212 - azealia banks 0:00 ───ㅇ───── 3:25

oops! - yung gravy 0:00 ───ㅇ───── 2:20

blah blah blah - kesha, 3OH!3 0:00 ───ㅇ───── 2:52

in my room - insane clown posse 0:00 ───ㅇ───── 3:51

ERIC CARTMAN

CARTMAN LISTENS TO KANYE WEST. we all know why he listens to kanye west..... he secretly listens to pop music. like britany spears, lady gaga, and lowkey marina. ooo and also gwen stefani. he probaly also listens to eminem. also stop guys cause you know damn well he listens to 6ix9ine💀. bro does not make a playlist for you. you ask him to make one and he says, "no tf that's gay as shit." like ok buddy just say that you don't wanna share out your music taste. you beg him so many times and he still says no. he has his own playlist. only for him that's it. his own playlist ↴

NOW PLAYING: MY PLAYLIST IS BETTER THAN KYLES

◁◁ ▐ ▌ ▷▷

can't tell me nothing - kanye west 0:00 ───ㅇ───── 4:31

toxic - britany spears 0:00 ───ㅇ───── 3:18

poker face - lady gaga 0:00 ───ㅇ───── 3:57

ancient dreams in a modern land - marina 0:00 ───ㅇ───── 3:26

gwen stefani - rich girl 0:00 ───ㅇ───── 3:56

without me - eminem 0:00 ───ㅇ───── 4:50

trollz - 6ix9ine, nickii minaj 0:00 ───ㅇ───── 3:22

[trashbins-stuff]

MY THOGUHTS THE ENTIRE TME

June 5ht is my brithdya so im gona start playing ball eveyr of my brtihdya now

HES STARTED OVER AND OVER AND OVER GETITNG TORUTTED EVERYDAY

THE ROCKET BC HE ESCAPED BY ROCKET OMZ

MITSI>?!?!?!?

SHEPARD>!?!?

OMFG I LVOE THE ITNENET

OMFG OMFG OMFG STEVEN THAT GUY THE CORNDOG GUY

This should be little victim’s adventure haha XP! Lol

HE GRAYED>!?!??!?!? OH YM GOD ITS ALL BECAUSE OF POLLUITON THIS ENTIRE TIME!

Omz omz omz it’s the SPARKLE it’s the..the SPARKLE MAKE MITSI>!?!?!?

Victim has trauma, theyre lterllay HYEPRVENTILAITNG

I HATE pollution

FUCK THEYRE HYPERVENTILATING AGAIN WHAT THE GELL

WHERE R THOSE CURSOR COMIGN FORM

THEY TLEIRLLAY HAVE PTSD (I wood kno)

I LVOE THE SUNLGIHT

Dude is ltierllay hallucinating cppl as cursors

Omzzz everyone so friendly……..<3333333 farmer vic fr>!?!? Plz>!?!?!? I beg>!?!??!?

I lvoe u the guy with the cone hat, the guy with the cone aht is vietnames ebtw

THE SHEEP THE SHEEP U GUYS

The children…..omz….<3

Boyyyyyyy what u doing

The guy with the cone hat is Vietnamese btw idc what anyone else say the cone hat guy is Vietnamese

Omz victim would have love physic…or engineering ig…

YIPPIE GO MY BOY SO SMART VIC AND MITSI R FRIEND!

GASP!!!!! OMZ….. THE FAMR LIFE..HTI IS EVEYRONE I OCULD HAVE EVER WNATE DIN LIFE BRO WHY DID U BECOME A CEO BRO

Gasp…………….omfg……………..

theyre so silly..ily mitsiii >_<

They still have ptsd tho

I need a mitsi in my life

HA xe can see through ur hollowhead oopid

I hope they lie..make it so that their relationship is up for interpretation

OMZ I SJUT NTOICE IS THE ROCKET COPR LOGO FUCKIGN AGNT>!?!??!?!

OHHHH HE DIDN’T ABANODN HIS FARM LIF EI THINK HE JUST..GOING OUT THER EIN THE BIG CITY….

Oh m frog agent was a police>??

HHAHAHAHAHHA THE ODNUT

Wait agent is a police or guard idk

FOUR YEARS>!?!?!?!

Lets aprty babyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

I lvoe the sheep

LETS GOOOOOO DANCE APRTY ^0^

Broooo….vcitim remind me of how id ance im physically cringing

FIRE>!?!?!?!

No no no no no no no no no no

Hosen and akr is tha tu

NO NO NO NOT U AGENT TOO NO NO FUCK IT IS CHOSNE ANDD AKR ISN TIT……………..

No………….no…………

DARK CHOSNE STOP SOTP STOP

NAVY>!?!? PURPEL AND ROCHID>!?!?! WTF

No way so purple wanst minecraft lmao

IM GONNA MS

Im gonna cry im gonna fuckign cry…………….WAIT W EKNOW PURPLE ORIGIN DOES AD VICITM DIDN’T BUILT A CHICKEN COOP>??? SO NO MERCS ITNERACITO YET>??\

The Chosen One..

The Dark Lord…

You fu

Mannn bro just wanna aprty..

Eveyrones traumatized..

Wait theory what if that gray guys and get clined by victim

OMFG THE TEASER

HHEY THAT’S THE GUY FORM AVM THAT KILLED GOLD

NO EVEN AGENT

OHH NOW THAT’S WHY VICITM BEAT CHOSEN UP BAD…

Vro slot he smot impotertant person in their lfie ofcourse theyre devastated.,.

THE SHOWDOW

SOTP EBIGN DEPRESS WERE GONNA GET REVENGE

Theyre crazy I lvoe them

WAIT THAT’S SHE END>!?!?!? URE JOKING………………..URE JOKING………………….U CANT……………………………………….WHAT THE F

my thoughts after processing for a bit:

guys mtisi IS co founder of the rocketcorp...

i cant blame vicitm for beaitng chosne up bad now cuz now we kno

i need mroe time to process

[milesworld96]

WATCHING DYNAMITE RNN

LMFAOOOOOOOOOOO CARDBLADE HAS HIS OWN TITLE, I FUCKING LOVE BCG SM😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 HE NEEDS TO STOP, I CANNOT DEAL WITH JUICES DANCES💀💀💀💔💔💔 OH I AM SO HERE FOR THIS, I CANT WAIT FOR FULL GEAR. UH GUYS HE HAS THE ACCLAIMED DWWW

MJF💞💞💞💞💞 WHAT HE WAS TO COMIC-CON? WHAT THE FUCK😭😭😭 OH LAWC I AM SO READY, OMG CASTER BOWENS BILLY. YES PLS MJF TEAM I NEED THIS SO MUCH. I HAVE BEEN WAITING SO FUCKING LONG I BEG. OH? CASTER IN THE BATTLE ROYALE? FUCK YEAH. LMFAOOO BRO HAS NO CHILL, PUT A RING ON IT? DAWG UR JUST ASKIN FOR IT😭😭😭😭😭💀💀💀💀💀 CASTER I BEG LISTEN TO BOWENS (“But he’s my scumbag” ILYSM caster)

OMGGGG HI GIRLLL❤️❤️‼️‼️‼️ Girl they are just so😍😍 A ONE COUNT WHAT? YEAAHHHH LETS FUCKING GO, HIKARU RETAINED😚😚🫶🫶🫶

ADAMMMMMMMMMMM. HAAIIIIIII ;33 oml him going over his past with Christian from when they were young is so cute I can’t. Chris why would do that. Awwwwwwww Adam😭😭😭😭😭 this got me in my feels Chris+Adam is so sweet I can’t with them. Sad that they r gonna brutally murder each other soon <\\3 no pls I need them to beat the shit out of each other, ADAM FIGHT HIM. At least ik his title safe <\\3

HHAAAAIIIIII WARDLOW :3333 NAAAAHHHH BRO IS DONE AFTER ONE POWERBOMB. OMGGG THE MJF WRISTBAND, GIRL NO STAY TF AWAY. NAH WAEDLOW WHAT IS U ON🤨🤨🤨 WHY U KNOCK OVER TONY😭😭

KENNNYYYYYY, PLS PUT HIM BACK IN THE CHAMPIONSHIP VIEW. OMG PLS I BEG PUT THE DON CALLIS FAMILY BEHIND YOU, GO AFTER MJF. OMG HAIIIII MJF HIHIHIHIHI 13 DAYS OMGJJDSIJZZJ KENNY ON&BHESNNAJSN I AM SO HERE FOR THIS, PLEASE I NEED THIS WHAT THE FUCJ

Oh no, another viewing into Adam Cole’s kidnapping. RODDY STOP BEING SO RUDE. Is this food porn. GIRLIES WHAT 😭😭😭😭😭😭 YEAH STAND UP 4 YOURSELF ADAM. LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE. ESCAPE THE KIDNAPPERS. OMG RODDY FINALLY TURNING A NEW LEAF? IM BEGGING, I CANNOT I NEED TO SEE THE KINGDOM & RODDY TRYING TO BE NICE TO MJF😭😭😭💀💀💀

HAAIIIIII HOBBS, HAAIIIIIII TAKESHITA☺️☺️❤️❤️❤️ GLOAT IT BB, PUT JERICHO IN THE FUCKING DIRT. FUCK YOU CHRIS JERICHO. YOO?? DON HOW ARE YOU DISSING KYLE WHEN YOU LITERALLY HAVE WILL OSPREAY IN YOUR CORNER. DO YOU THINK HE REALLY GON CHOOSE YOU FOR DOING THAT TO KYLE😭😭⁉️ KYLE DONT TAKE THE FUCKING OFFER, JUST WORK ON GETTING WILL OUT

HIIIII KENNY☺️☺️☺️💞💞💞💞💙💙💙💙🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ this match is GOING to serve so much cunt omfg AND I WAS SO RIGHT. AAAAAA IM GOING FUCKING INSANE OMFG KENNY UR FACE‼️‼️ every once in a while there will be matches that change me as a man, and this is definitely one of them. THIS SHIT IS MAKING MY GAY ASS GO FUCKING NUTS, AAA KENNY. HE WON‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶 Sorry Kyle, but look on the bright side no Don Callis in your ear now!!!! :)) SHUT THE FUCK UP DON

OMG OMGNDJBSRIHSFBVIHGSRBIHFBHIS3UIEBAEAFBUI OMG DANHAUSEN VID DANHAUSEN VID I CANT HAIHIAHIAHIABIABIAHIAHIAHIAHAIHAIAHIAHJAI I CANT WAIT FOR HIM TO COME BACK IM GOING FUCKING INSANE OVER THIS OMFHRSHJBIFSJHBVHDJSBCJHDAKHBCMHDAHMBCKDAHHBCKHSBDCBKHDAHBCBKHDABHCIUADBCKUADBCKUBHKDS KUBS

OOOOOOOOOOOODZJJCJSF HSF IM WATCHING THAT PREMIERE VID, SWERVE BBBYYYY OMLL. OMG SWERVE NANA HIHIHIHI. IM SO HAPPY FOR YALLS. Swerve what’s wrong, oh OH HANGMAN AND SWVER BACK @ IT AGAIN. HANGMAN :(((((((( OHHOHO I AM SO EXCITED 4 THIS

IITS STTIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNGG. lol I just like saying it, not rlly a big fan of him but he cool. Ewww Hulk Holgan mention. YAY NATURE BOY MENTION‼️he still does got it ngl👏👏 AA DEBUT STARTING AT REVOLUTION AND RETIREMENT STARTING AT REVOLUTION, WHAT A BIG CIRCLE. HOPE THINGS TURN OUT FOR YOU MAN YOU BEEN AROUND FOR SO LONG AND HAD A LONG GREAT CAREER. HOPE YOUR HAPPY THO BRO

AAAAA ITS RJ CITY OMG JIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIH TONI HIHIHIHIIHIHHIHI ILY BOTH SO MUCH HIHISHDHCHXBBCBHCNXBXBHXHSA I’m sorry what, HOW ARE YOU GONNA PLAY THE PICTURE SMD THEN GO TO COMMERCIAL? WHAT THE FUCK IM MISSING QUALITY CONTENT OF RJ CITY AND TONI. FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

OH NAH, NICK WAY E AND HIS MOM⁉️⁉️ WATCH YOUR TONE YOUNG MAN. GIRL NICK WHAT. R U FR TELLING UR MOM TO SHUT UP? BRO YOU GON GET AN ASS BEATING WHEN YOU GET HOME. GIIRRRRRLLLL SHE GON HIT YOU WITH THE HANGER WHEN YOU GET HOME. CHRISTIAN CAGE‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ OMG NAH SHE SMACKED HIM⁉️⁉️⁉️ NAH CHRISTIAN HAS THE ADOPTION PAPERS NOW💀💀💀 OMG DARBY HAIAHAIHAIAHAIAHIA. CHRISTIAN FR IS NICK’S NEW DAD😍😍😍😍 (I can be his male wife) OMG DARBY GETTING RAGDOLLED AGAIN. AH NICK WHAT HAPPENED WHY ARE YOU BLEEDING SRE YOU OKAY. STING GET OFF OF CHRISTIAN NOW‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ AW CHRISTIAN BEING A GOOD DAD AND CHECKING HIS SON🥹🥹 hope Nick’s tooth is okay tho. (Wonder if Chris is checking in on his other son too)

WAIWAITIWIT TRIOS MATCH? KIP SABIAN? OMG ARE WE BRINGING BACK KIP SABAIN VS ORANGE CASSIDY AGAIN? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE I BEG I NEED THEM BACK FEUDING TOGETHER I NEED IT NOW

OMG OMG BEST FRIENDS + HOOK FXFHIISHCIHNCEINEWJKCNWNCSIDCNCKDJSNC HAI HAI HAI HELLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO KRIS VS WILLOW FUCK YESYESYESYEYSYES I NEED ORANHE VS KIP AGAIN PLEAS

Wait WAIT WAIT THE ACCLAIMED V DADDY MAGIC ANGELO AND DANIEL? OMFG YESY3YESYYESYYEDY I CANT WAIT OVUIHIHGRVIYBSRVYIR AND WE’RE GETTING HOOK+RVD AGAIN ON DYNAMITE? I AM LOVED I AM TRULY LOVED

Stray Bullet Juice Robinson is so slay, I love it💛💛 CAASSSSTTERRRRRRRR HAIHAIHAIHAI BBG🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷✂️✂️✂️✂️✂️✂️✂️✂️✂️ MAX STOP THRUSTING UR BELT, LISTEN TO BOWENS AND BEHAVE😭😭😭😭😭 NNNNNAAAAAAAHHHH CASTER YOURE FOWL 4 DOING THAT ON LIVE TV💀💀💀💀 NOOO DADDY MAGIC LET DANIEL DANCE ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️ I NEED MJF ON COMMENTARY MORE PLEASE TK🥲🥲 MJF PAYIN LFF DUSTIN?🤨 OOOOOO BOY, NAH HE KNEED JUICE IN THE NUTS💀💀 tricky? Y’all’s relationship is tricky? AAAAAWWWWWWW TONY🩷🩷 that’s RIGHT MAX, Caster still loves u very much🩷🫶 AAAA TRENT & DUSTIN HUG☺️☺️ NOOO TRENT :(( bro stay losing💔💔 OH OH DANIL ELIMINATE HARDY. DADDY MAGIC😠😠 NOOONONONO PLEASE DONT SET THIS UP AS A DANIEL AND DADDY MAGIC SPLIT. CASTER IM BEGGING WIN PLEASE PLEASE PELASE. MICDROP🎤✂️ HE GOT HIS TITLE BACK FROM JAY WOOOOO. LOWBLOWING MFF. NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO CASSTTERRRRR💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔 at least we have both of max2 laid out on the floor😔😔 wish the best 4 you Maxi❤️ (hope Caster & Adam r there to support him)

[polandspringz]

i made a tag just for sorting any posts i make about this on my blog so might as well tell a story to begin to fill it up

so im TRYING to make friends with this group of ppl i met at my JPNS class group picnic at the end of the semester. they all seemed nice and were weebs, but the problem is like. well its split between 2 guys and 2 girls (including me) but the other girl is a COD player, as are the guys, and one of the guys is obsessed with Elden Ring, so I’m dealing with SORT OF  dudebro situation

But anyway, one of the guys (not the Elden Lord as we’ll call him) likes Fire Emblem and wanted to talk to me about it, but he’s kind of the dimitri dudebro- so like that famous post about the boyfriend who has a “man crush” on dimitri but refuses to say he’s bi or romantically in love with him, that’s what im dealing with

I’ll reply to this guy smth to bounce off his point and he’ll always just be like “i like dimitri” like he dodges any actual conversation i try to build to go back to “well I like dimitri”

He’s done this with other things like if we talk anime he’ll ignore anything like (I don’t want to say intelligent and seem full of myself, but if I’m like “Oh this was done by x animator” or “i really liked how they decided to do this or implement this theme”) and instead just be like “i just like it because x”. For reasons like this with regards to anime discussions, I just wanna call him a newbie weeb, bc he seems to be in that stage of just liking the main shounens or whats popular and never branching beyond it

but back to the fire emblem stuff, im just kind of annoyed rn bc i have never ACTUALLY spoken to a dimitri dudebro before and so even though i may not be an EDELGARD lover (i fucked up and got on silver snow instead of crimson flower, so i cant like defend anything about her properly because I didn’t play it but I’m friends with ppl who love her and CAN argue for her view points) but this dude is really like “I love Petra, but I didn’t care for Black Eagles at all and actually i only cared about Dimitri and Felix. But don’t ship Felix and Dimitri I hate that they’re just friends. Also Felix is just a rehash of Sasuke. Also I love Dimitri and Felix but if you try to analyze their relationship anymore I’ll get angry” like BRO WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DISCUSS WITH YOU

[rigels-nigels]

tryna get a job while disabled with ur only skills being in music is the most frustrating thing

everything i look at for jobs is just, something i’d have no chance in or quite unrelated to any skills i might have, that or it’s not even given as an option, or it needs a ton of experience or qualifications i don’t have and or my adhd would kill me for tryna do i’m just

[ded-space]

Can I get an HC of the demon bros reacting to MC coming out as Nonbinary :> if- that's okay dhduehovduvd8bd and uhm, if it's okay can you include some non-dateables like Barbatos and Simeon <3333333 ouuu and Diavolo

OMG I LOVE THIS IDEA!

MC comes out as Nonbinary! :)

Reblogging permission ✅

🂲 🂳 🂴 🂵 🂶 🂷 🂸 🂹 🂺 🂻 🂽 🂾 🂱 🂼

Lucifer

*You walk into his room looking nervous*

"What's the matter MC?"

"I have to tell you something.. *deep breath* I am non-binary"

"Is that all love?"

*eyes open wide you look to him confused.. you weren't expecting that reaction*

"You're my favorite human, and I'll always see you as just that. You're my human." *He embraces you in a warm hug*

*you tear up relived and joyful*

"How would you like me to address you from now on?"

🂲 🂳 🂴 🂵 🂶 🂷 🂸 🂹 🂺 🂻 🂽 🂾 🂱 🂼

Asmodeus

*You walk into his room looking nervous*

"Oh! Sweetie is everything alright?"

"I have to tell you something.. *deep breath* I am non-binary"

*Smiles* "it's about time!"

"What-?"

"I've known for a long time honey! I'm non-binary too!"

"Oh no! Have I been misgendering you!?" :(

"Nope! I use all pronouns! Hehe"

"Well that's a relief!"

"Come here and give me a hug"<3

*The two of you hug tightly*

"How would you like me to refer to you?" :D

🂲 🂳 🂴 🂵 🂶 🂷 🂸 🂹 🂺 🂻 🂽 🂾 🂱 🂼

Satan

*You walk into his room looking nervous*

"MC! What a pleasant-.. is something wrong??"

"I have to tell you something.. *deep breath* I am non-binary"

"Thank you for informing me! I'm well read on the subject and will continue to support you any way possible. If you have a name change in mind I will happily change the name on your D.D.D. for you if you'd like."

*You didn't expect him to be so prepared*

"I hope you know that the way I care for you goes beyond gender" *He grabs your hand and holds it to his heart wearing a charming smile*

🂲 🂳 🂴 🂵 🂶 🂷 🂸 🂹 🂺 🂻 🂽 🂾 🂱 🂼

Beel

*You walk into his room looking nervous*

"Mm?"

"Beel.. I have to tell you something.. *deep breath* I am non-binary"

" :( but cheese is so delicious.."

"No.. Beel that's non-dairy" 😰 "I said I'm non-binary.. I'm not a boy or girl.."

"..So you can have cheese?"

"Yes, I can have cheese"

[ (a/n) unless you actually can't pfft]

"Then that's all that matters :)"

🂲 🂳 🂴 🂵 🂶 🂷 🂸 🂹 🂺 🂻 🂽 🂾 🂱 🂼

Belphie

*You walk into his room looking nervous*

*yawn* "MC?" *Signals you to lay next to him*

*You stand next to his bed too nervous to lay down*

"I have to tell you something.. *deep breath* I am non-binary"

"What name and pronouns should I use for you? :)"

"I go by (y/n) and use (*insert your pronouns here*)"

*He grabs your arm and pulls you onto the bed and grips you like a koala planting kisses on your forehead*

You felt safe and comforted

🂲 🂳 🂴 🂵 🂶 🂷 🂸 🂹 🂺 🂻 🂽 🂾 🂱 🂼

Mammon

*You walk into his room looking nervous*

"Ey? What's up MC?"

"I have to tell you something.. *deep breath* I am non-binary"

"Kudos!'

"You do know what that means right Mammon?"

" 'course I do! I gotta bunch of enby witches, sorcerers and wizards up my ass all the time!"

🤦

🂲 🂳 🂴 🂵 🂶 🂷 🂸 🂹 🂺 🂻 🂽 🂾 🂱 🂼

Levi

*You walk into his room looking nervous*

*focused on his game* knowing it's you seeing as nobody else enters his room he asks: "Are you here to play 'Ruri-chan and the hidden legend of her fathers brothers friends cousins lost treasure of tetris mountain' with me?

"Another time, but.. I have to tell you something..

*He pauses his game and looks at you prepared to listen attentively*

*deep breath* I am non-binary"

"Wooahh! That's totally awesome! I'm happy for you!" :) "Do you have a name picked out yet? (If not I wanna give you some ideas!)"

"I have! call me (y/n)" / "Not yet!" /I'm not changing it :)" / "Still thinking about it 🤷"

"YOU ARE VALID!"

🂲 🂳 🂴 🂵 🂶 🂷 🂸 🂹 🂺 🂻 🂽 🂾 🂱 🂼

Diavolo

*You walk into his room looking nervous*

"Is everything alright mi amor?"

"I have to tell you something..

"I'm all ears"

*deep breath* I am non-binary"

"Yes, okay go on"

"well that was really all I wanted to say.."

"Oh right! Hahaha I forgot this is a thing for humans. Sorry! It's just that in the Devildom most demons don't even have a human form and therefore are (super)naturally non-binary creatures, little D no.2 for example! The human world is the only one that ever sees it as an issue *sigh* Just know I support you!" *Little kiss on your forehead*

🂲 🂳 🂴 🂵 🂶 🂷 🂸 🂹 🂺 🂻 🂽 🂾 🂱 🂼

Barbatos

*You walk into his room looking nervous*

"What's troubling you dolcezza~ (sweetness in Italian)"

"I have to tell you something.. *deep breath* I am non-binary"

"I had my assumptions and insight, however I had decided to wait until you were comfortable telling me yourself as not to out you. Please inform me of any changes addressing-wise" *he gently caresses your jaw with a kind smile*

🂲 🂳 🂴 🂵 🂶 🂷 🂸 🂹 🂺 🂻 🂽 🂾 🂱 🂼

Purgatory Hall:

*you ask to have tea and cake with Solomon, Simeon and Luke to discuss something important with all of them*

*Simeon requests you meet them at Purgatory Hall*

*You nervously knock on the door and are greeted by all three of them*

*They can tell you're uncomfortable about something but they don't quite understand what*

MC: "So you're probably all wondering why I wanted to meet with you today.."

Soloman: "The thought had crossed my mind"

Luke: "Hush! Can't you tell you just interupted MC!"

Soloman: "Alright, alright, just stop barking"

Simeon: "*sigh* continue MC"

MC: "I-I'm Non-binary.."

*They all look at each other as if speaking telepathically* *They all nod and instantly know what to do* Next thing you know you're being attacked with hugs from the three of them! *Soloman ruffling your hair* *Simeon is rubbing his cheek against yours* *Luke is tickling you to uncontrollable laughter*

Simeon: We love and accept you MC :)

*They all giggle to show their support putting a huge grin on your face as you join them in the giggle fest*

🂲 🂳 🂴 🂵 🂶 🂷 🂸 🂹 🂺 🂻 🂽 🂾 🂱 🂼

(A/N) I really liked Bunching Purgatory Hall together, I think it made it very fluffy :) I'll probably be doing it again sometime! Also enjoy the rainbow playing cards! They took way to long (I'm gonna be really mad if some of the colors don't show up like last time :( cause it takes forever)

[ssamie]

epilogue. “your girlfriend’s kinda hot”

kozume kenma x fem dazai!reader

(bsd x hq)

tw: mentions of suicide and suggestive themes + dirty jokes

masterlist.          suicide freak!

"hey uh, welcome to my stream i guess" he said as he spared the camera a quick glance "im not really playing tonight because an incident has recently occurred in this household" kenma said with a tired sigh 

nobody else knew it, but the said 'incident' was y/n accidentally setting half of their living room on fire 

the reason? apparently, she wanted to try burning herself to death in the furnace. obviously, it didn't work. and all that's left from that is more shit for kenma to clean up and a trip to yosano-san. 

kenma is stressed. and y/n is still alive. both of them are facing problems. 

"can you please wear a maid outfit- no."

kenma shook his head as he continued playing, glancing at the chat once in a while to read the veiwers' questions and comments

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: how about cat ears?! 

user: ^^ cATBOY CATBOY CATBOY 

user: u suck at this game wtf

kuroo.tetsu: hey kenma ;) 

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

"first of all, i do not suck at minecraft thank you very much" kenma scoffed 

"second of all, go away kuroo. im still mad at you" 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: LMFAOOO kuroo what did u do?? 💀💀

user: he probably broke kenma's pc 

user: PLSS he's the one kenma’s throwing shade at on twitter 

kuroo.tetsu: STOP THE SLANDER 😔✋🏼

user: rooster head lookin ass 

user: ^^ NOT THE HAIR 

kuroo.testsu: 😃😃

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

kenma sighed as he continued building a cute little cottage. he was currently vibing, just building y/n a cute cottage for her to probably burn later on. 

and he decided it would be nice to go on stream since his oh-so-lovely girlfriend was still out for work. 

ah yes, kenma has somehow kept y/n alive all those years. 

barely. 

hence why his phone was being bombarded with messages from her, all of which being blurry selfies. 

the photos had her sporting a huge grin while atsushi panicked in the background. 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: ayo, ur phone's blowing up 

user: do you have a girlfriend? 

user: KODZUKEN LET ME SUCK UR TOES 😋😋🤩

user: ^ ayo chill 😃

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

kenma simply ignored them and continued on with his task. all was going well until a loud slam was heard. his cat-like eyes widened as he heard a familiar voice singing from downstairs, it was undoubtedly y/n. 

kenma chuckled nervously and muted his mic. 

but of course, cute dumb catboy didn't actually mute his mic. haha <3

he ignored all the questions in the chat, all of them being  speculations that he has a girlfriend. which he does, but they simply did not need to know that <3

"kenma~" she yelled out "i have a surprise for you!!" she said, followed by menacing giggles. 

kenma glanced at the camera before hopping off his gaming chair and peeking his head out of the door. 

"y/n, im streaming!! stay down there!" he yelled out in panic 

"aw, you're playing hard to get aren't ya?" she chuckled 

kenma deadpanned as he saw her limping up the stairs, with her bandages torn and unravelled, same with her clothes. he didn't really think much of it since this is usually how she comes home. 

its most likely just due to work and/or another suicide attempt.

"so, kenma.. you'll never know what just happened to me today" she started off with a goofy grin 

"im streaming, atleast let me turn it off first-" 

she paid no mind to him as she peeled off her ruined coat and pointed to her poorly bandaged stomach

"i got stabbed!" 

"you got what?!"

kenma furrowed his brows as he immediately rushed over to his side, cradling her face and waist as he inspected her injuries

"are you okay, kitten?" he asked worriedly 

"yep, apparently it wasnt deep enough to be fatal" she sighed dejectedly 

"please don't be sad about that." kenma groaned "can you undress?" 

"ara ara~ whats this?" she cooed "you're getting real bold, kenma" she smirked at him 

she unbuttoned her shirt and started pulling down on her skirt "but since you asked so nicely-" 

kenma simply sighed and shook his head. "i was gonna prepare you a bath but now im considering leaving you here to die" 

"but the second option would've been better though" she smiled at him 

"oh my fucking god." 

kozume kenma. (22)

╰─▸ university student, stock trader, pro-gamer, youtuber, ceo of bouncing ball lpt. 

╰─▸ y/n's struggling boyfriend. definitely needs a pay after all he's been through.

╰─▸ currently panicking because his girlfriend got stabbed.

l/n y/n. (22)

╰─▸ operative/member of the armed detective agency. 

╰─▸ kenma's girlfriend. kinda dumb, very hot to compensate for it. still hasn't died yet. 

╰─▸ currently bleeding and wounded. also hoping for severe blood loss.

"kenma, did you know" she mused in a teasing tone "lack of sleep and too much stress could possibly lead to poor memory and lack of awareness" 

kenma looked up at her with a look of confusion. he was currently kneeled down before her while she was sat on the bed as he cleaned her wound up with a damp towel. 

"why are you telling me this?" he asked 

"i just thought it probably applied to you" she snickered 

"why? i didnt forget anything-" 

he cut himself off with a huge intake of air. he slowly turned his head to look at the screen which still had his stream going on. to make it worse, the camera was on and they were both clearly in the camera's field of view. 

to make things worse worse, his mic was on the whole time and the live chat was in shambles. 

"i hate it here" he sighed 

kenma laid his head on her lap as he continued on patching her up, honestly not caring that this whole scene was being recorded for thousands or millions of people to see. 

"well, atleast the internet could finally see my beauty before i die" she laughed 

she ran her fingers through kenma's hair as he grumbled under his breath. kenma was a pretty private person. he made sure not to overshare, given his current 'influencer' status. and he was planning on keeping his relationship a secret, though it seems he can't do that anymore. 

"might as well say hi" she shrugged 

so of course, she then decided to walk up to the camera looking utterly dishevelled and roughed up. 

for context, the newly wrapped bandages around her stomach was being stained already by a crimson red hue and it was only getting worse the more she moved, undoubtedly messing up her wound. 

"hi, im kenma's girlfriend and if i see you flirting with him i will make you regret it" she grinned 

"y/n!" kenma groaned from the bed "you're close to dying right now, turn the stream off" 

ignoring him, she proceeded to read the veiwers' comments, laughing at some of them while she joked around. 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: heLLO?!?! 

user: GE HAS A GIRLFRIEND NOOO

user: bruh, did i just hear that right? were you fuckin stabbed? 

user: ur kinda hot tho

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

kenma furrowed his brows as he reluctantly walked up behind her, reading the comments with varying reactions 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: well damn, hot bloody girl comes in and suddenly im lesbian

user: kenma looks so done

kuroo.tetsu: hi y/n ;) 

user: HER NAME IS Y/N

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

"jesus christ shut up, kuroo" kenma grumbled out with a sigh 

"yup! yup! im y/n, and no, i am not a criminal. i swear." she shook her head 

"i got an injury from my job, that's all." she cleared up 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: tangina nyo sana ol

user: MSKAKAKKA

user: THIS IS LOWKEY ICONIC

user: time to scratch another gamer boy off my possible bf list 😔

user: girl wtf happened to u

user: that's wack bro 🚶‍♀️

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

"great question, random person from the internet!" she beamed "see, what happened was.." 

"i went on a certain mission and got severely injured. though, when i called for help nobody responded" she said 

kenma furrowed his brows at her words. "why didn't anybody respond?" he asked. she sighed and fiddled with her torn bandages, pouting her lips as she does so. 

"well, when i told them that i was finally on death's door, all they said to me was 'congratulations!' and all that.." she said "what's your take on that, hm?" she asked kenma 

"im not surprised" he said 

she grinned at his words and leaned in for a kiss. "you're so mean to me, kenma~" she whined 

she licked her lips as she held his blushing face in her hands, she nuzzled their noses as she leaned in closer to him. 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

kuroo.tetsu: oh shit 😳

user: we all know where this is heading ;) 

user: sana ol talaga punyemas 

user: AYO CHILL 

user: why we goin so fuckin fasstttt 😳

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

kenma hastily turned the camera off as soon as y/n's lips touched his. 

"kitten, were still- hmph-" 

he was only silenced as she slipped her tongue in his mouth, smirking lightly as she ran her fingers through his hair 

"thanks babe." she said as she pulled away, giving him a soft peck on his cheek and a nod "anyways.." she hummed as she turned the camera on once again 

she looked through the chat while kenma slaps his face to get rid of his blush. 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: ur fuckin freaky 

kuroo.tetsu: oya oya 😼😼

user: MS MAAM I JUST MET U AND I LOVE U ALREADY WJABSJSJJS

user: not me blushing chiiilllleeeeee 🏃‍♀️

user: KENMA IS FLUSTERED

kuroo.tetsu: kenma, i didnt expect this from u 😼

user: im so fucking JEALOUS GRR😡

user: girl r u bleeding rn 😃

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

upon reading a certain comment, she subconsciously grazed her fingers against her bandaged wound. her eyes slightly widening as she felt a concerning amount of wetness seeping through

she glanced at kenma who was still calming himself down and inspected her wound 

"oh my.." she muttered, though she couldn't help but let a smile slip through 

so like any normal person would do, she simply ignored her bleeding wound and the fact that she was getting a bit lightheaded. haha <3

"anyways, let's answer some questions!" she beamed 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: what's ur full name

user: what's ur job miss girl 

user: are you possibly looking for a gf, because i am more 

than willing to take the spot 🚶‍♀️

user: how did you meet?? 

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

"alright, those are all very nice questions" she chuckled. kenma, who's now calmed down, sat down beside her to look at the chat. 

"first, im l/n y/n" she mused "nice to meet ya" 

"second im a detective! mhm, im cooler than your fathers" 

"third, it depends, belladonna" she cooed as she sent the camera flirty smirk "are you perhaps willing to join me in a double suicide?" 

"oh god.." kenma grumbled. he pouted at her and shook his head in disapproval. "don't flirt with random girls" he whined 

"why not?" 

"uh- because i am your beloved boyfriend, is that not good enough of a reason??" 

"... anyways, we met at a cafe way back in high school" she said with a smile "also, i asked him to join me on a double suicide" she said 

she was smiling and nodding as if it was the most normal thing in the world, all while kenma nods along 

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: wtf are u okay 🗿

kuroo.tetsu: teenage romance 🤩

user: cute ❤️

user: im concerned ❤️

user: ur a detective?? cool

user: LMAOO I'LL GO ON A DOUBLE SEWER SLIDE 

WITH U MOMMY 😩😩😋

user: ^^ SAME 😩

user: CHOKE ME WITH THOSE BANDAGES MOMMAE 😩

user: u r still bleeding 🚶‍♀️        

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

kenma was simply glaring at the chat as more compliments and flirtatious comments came flowing in, all of which were directed to his girlfriend. 

"this is why i didn't wanna let people know about you.." kenma grumbled 

"aww, why not?" she asked with a playful pout 

"people are flirting with you." he sighed "also, stop asking for my girlfriend's onlyfans! she doesn't even have one!" he snarled

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: LMAOO CATBOY IS ANGRY 😩

user: y/n-senpai spit on me 😡😡

user: drop the onlyfans 

user: chupapi munyanyo 😩

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

"anyways, i'd hate to ruin the mood" she chimed in with a sluggish giggle "but im so wet kenma" she whined out 

a menacing smirk was etched on her lips as kenma spluttered in response, a bright red hue covering his face almost instantly as he faced her with widened eyes 

"y-y/n! why would you say that?!" he whisper shouted 

"cuz i am" she whined out as she grabbed his hand and trailed it down her abdomen 

she faced the camera and gave them a shit-eating grin as kenma mumbled out incoherent words 

"y/n we should-" he cut himself off as he felt the concerning amount of blood drip down his whole arm 

kenma's face paled as he looked up to see her smiling like a kid in a candy store, completely unbothered. 

"y/n, you idiot! why didn't you tell me!" kenma exclaimed 

"um- my girlfriend is bleeding. excessively. so uh- bye i guess" it was all he said before hastily ending his stream and turning off his computer. 

"y/n, let's get you to a hospital" he said as he reached down to carry her away. though she simply slapped his hands off and closed her eyes. 

"nope. this is my time, kenma. don't ruin it for me" she said 

"you're fucking dying!!" 

"well, would you like to join me?" 

"no"

"damn." she muttered in response 

"so...wanna fuck?" she asked sheepishly 

"for the love of god-" 

this was so messy :/

[kvgehiras]

can i request sleepover hcs with trickstar (separate)? i feel like they would be so much fun to be with... the new shuffle unit really woke up my inner trickstarP 🥺 (hope it's not too much to request all 😭)

HELLO !!! nd no it's ok !!!! it took me some time bcs i didnt . rlly know how to start out hokuto's part BUT IT'S DONE NOW !!!!!!! (also i hope u meant it in a setting where y/n nd the members r in a relationship (separately ofc) bcs that's how i wrote it so ye) hope yall like it ~

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.�� .* :☆ﾟ. ───

AKEHOSHI SUBARU

• he probably brought up the idea while u were accompanying him on a walk w daikichi

• u were talking abt how u brought these glow-in-the-dark stickers nd they remind u of him

• "it would b so nice if u could see it omg!!! but .... it's the best when u watch it right before u go to sleep.....nd ur probably busy :(("

• "????? LETS HAVE A SLEEPOVER THEN!!!!!!! W ALL THE SPARKLE SPARKLE STARS!!!! AAAAA IT WOULD LOOK SO PRETTY!!!!!!!!"

• nd ur just like :0 bcs u cant believe this dumbass . he has a live to perform in day after tomorrow but he's gonna have a sleepover........what

• "dw abt my live !!!!!!! ill tell hokke nd the others that i can't come today but i'll practice extra hard tomorrow !! they'll understand dw (*・∀-)☆"

• they didn't.....actually...but he cut the call on hokuto before they could get him to attend so uh-

• "anyways!!!!!!!! ^^^^^^"

• yall bring daikichi over too. it's not even a question daikichi is literally yalls child at this point but anyways

• he probably looks for board games for a good hour or two while u get some food for daikichi nd then get some food for subaru nd urself

• (he doesn't find it)

• u peek at the doorframe bcs for a while u keep feeling like someone has been watching u for a while now nd then boom . u see the other baby (read : subaru . main baby is daikichi, ofc!) pouting at u

• u laugh nd wipe ur hands on ur apron before ruffling his hair nd he goes

• "i can't find the board games :((((( y/n :(((((("

• surprise guessing game : whos the actual puppy? akehoshi subaru or his actual dog daikichi??????? it remains a mystery

• anyways u help him look for them nd after u hand him over the thing u get food for the both of u nd force him to eat atleast a bite bcs this bitch is too busy trying to win against u in snakes & ladders 😭😭😭

• "subaru.....pls....the food is getting cold....."

• "no i Know im gonna win!!! the sparkly stars r my good luck!!!! i know it!!!!!!"

• he.... doesn't win .....for the 5th time....

• so manz just gives up, noms all the sandwiches visible (aka his portion bcs u alrdy finished urs an hour ago JDJDKDN)

• nd then sleeps, still sulking

• yes it ends up in u guys cuddling under the glowy stars

• nd subaru thinks that mayb losing against u isn't that bad after all (´꒳`)

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

HIDAKA HOKUTO

• unlike subaru, this was actually a planned one

• u both had homework to do, u especially had a test tomorrow nd subaru just ditched the rest of trickstar to go hang out w someone else instead of their practice so ┐(´∀｀)┌

• hokuto appears at ur doorstep around 6:30pm, as discussed earlier

• "right on time!!!!!! so true hokke (´∀`)ｂ"

• he chuckles a lil as he closes the door behind him nd takes off his shoes

• "(y/n) u keep sounding like that masked pervert whenever u say smthg like that pls"

• u laugh it off nd then get him to the living room, where u two get ur books out nd then start studying

• hokuto asks if uve studied any material before to which u quietly reply no nd hokuto just goes

• "oh, that's ok… i think it will be good practice for me too if i taught u all this, right? so let's start, hm?"

• HOKKEEEEEEE ๐·°(৹˃̵﹏˂̵৹)°·๐

• sasuga hokuto kyun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

• anyways !! u guys (finally) start studying now!

• except…..except ur alrdy falling asleep……

• hokuto doesn't even realise this till he looks over to his shoulder bcs wow it suddenly feels heavy! wonder why!

• nd then boom ur face is an inch away from his

• poor hokuto his face gets all red and his ears r burning nd when he realises that ur sleeping he just . freezes

• doesnt even move fucking muscle

• mentally too manz just checks out NDNDNDJDJKS

• BUT IN HIS DEFENCE WHEN HE CAME TO UR PLACE HE DIDNY EXPECT THIS!!!!!!! HE EXPECTED TO STUDY ND THEN GO HOME YK!!!!!!

• poor guy he can feel how hard his heart is beating nd hes praying that u dont hear it nd wake up

• thank goodness ur a heavy sleeper……..nothing, nd i mean not even if boulder is dropped on u, can wake u up

• sasuga…..y/n……?

• anyways !!!!!

• u wake up at like . 2 or 3 am nd u find hokuto just closing his eyes shut, cheeks still bright red nd. WHYS HE SO CLOSE-

• o u fell asleep on his shoulder lol-

• U FELL ASLEEP?????

• u jerk back up nd apologise a million times for falling asleep even tho hes so desperately trying to teach u nd hokuto just tries to hard to explain that it's ok !!!!!!! (bcs he actually kinda . liked it . aaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAA)

• after much thought u guys just decided to go to sleep bcs ur too tired anyways so it's not like u would retain this info anyways

• nd it was a good decision bcs after waking up in the morning nd going thru his notes instead u actually aced the test !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so true y/n !!!!!!

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

YUUKI MAKOTO

• this one….. it's like . neither planned or accidental?????

• it just happened????? yk?????

• he called u suddenly in the evening bcs he went to this new game shop that opened near his place right

• nd hes just like !!!!!!! y/n!!!!!!! uve got to check this game out !!!!!!

• nd so u go to his place to play the game nd u see that he just has everything prepared so u get the snacks that u got for both of u on a plate nd get some juice from his fridge nd start playing the game

• nd the game is rlly good !!!!!

• from the graphics to the boss music, makoto rlly knows ur taste

• (he blushes nd thanks u all flustered too hehe)

• nd after switching consoles nd playing the game for over 3 hrs, yes it's a pretty huge game, u finally reach the boss battle!!!!

• nd this . this scares u

• uve seen ppl on the net say that this battle will absolutely End u . periodt

• u never rlly understood why but holy shit u now do

• uve been trying to win against this bitch for AN HOUR at this point . why cant he just die

• poor makoto is just cheering u on in the bg bcs u refuse to let him help

• "y/n….(;´Д`)...... it's ok bb…...i'll finish this up for u…. it's like 4am we have class tomorrow- wait no it's actually today-"

• "makoto No u always help me in games let me finally win smthg for u !!!!!!"

• nd u point at his forehead nd poke it several times as u make ur point

• "ill win for u !!!!! ok!!!!! this stupid boss can never be as strong as my love for u !!!!!! (*｀へ´*) 彡3"

• nd hes just . looking at u all worried but he . he trusts u . so he lets u do it urself

• yes u lost even more times nd cried a lil out of frustration

• so at one point, instead of directly helping u, he just starts giving u directions nd at this point ur too tired nd exhausted to say anything so u just follow him

• (u also have ur head on his lap nd hes combing thru ur hair nd looking down at u like :') lmao what a lovebird)

• but when u actually beat the boss, finally, nd the screen says "win!" in huge yellow letters ur eyes go O.O

• nd u jump out of his lap, while he's still spaced out, combing ur hair nd hug him v tightly

• nd hes like ????? huh ???? wh wh wh ?????????

• nd u explain that u finally won nd u guys just rejoice lol

• then immediately fall asleep. both of u

• (u guys were late to school next day . sigh)

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

ISARA MAO

• unlike the other three, this man was actually dragged to ur place

• why? u might ask

• WELL THIS DUMB RAT IS BURNT OUT !!!!!! HE DOES TOO MUCH WORK ND HE DOESNT REALISE IT !!!!!!!!!!

• so after u guys r done w school, nd when u check in w his fam too that hes gonna stay at ur place (nd also that he has almost no work today, ofc) u drag him to an arcade nd hes like ???

• "today is a rest day!!!!!! so no work at all!!!!!!"

• u said this while pouting a bit so mao mostly thought u were joking

• but even after going to the arcade, going to the shopping mall nd getting snacks, going to the fast food place u guys visit alot nd getting food from there, his brain doesnt catch on that ur indeed not joking

• until it's been 3 hours at ur place, ur having the dinner that u guys had bought from the fast food place while watching a random movie that was airing on some channel that his brain suddenly went

• 'i know they were saying that this is a rest day nd ur not allowed to work probably as a joke but bro…. i dont think it's a joke anymore'

• this is so sad f in the chat for mao lol

• but also he doesnt bring it up bcs ur forcing him to watch musicals w u (some of ur favs) nd he... actyally likes it?

• he hasn't felt so ….relaxed in a very long time now that he thinks abt it

• nd he has to thank u for it yk

• nd so after the musical marathon ends, as he thanks u, he kind of just goes on a rant yk

• abt how he's feeling

• he never expected for this to happen but u tell him it's ok yk

• nd while he shouldn't burden himself w so much work, ur always open to listen to his thoughts, opinions, random bs, anything !!!!!!

• for hours u guys just have a very deep talk abt how guys have been doing nd mao feels like hes so so glad that u did smthg like this for him

• yall also go to bed early bcs mao alrdy has a bad sleeping schedule (so let's not make it worse!!!!)

• nd in conclusion, it was a v good day! now yall do this whenever either of u r feeling down or get burnt out lol

[literaphobe]

season 2 of she-ra rated by catradora content

the frozen forest: “aw, cute, you can turn your sword into stuff.” very interesting how adora has to literally train not by fighting any real soldiers in the horde just... catra. light hope scanned her brain and knew she wouldn’t bother to run after anyone else :/ which. is true. call her out!! she fights bots too but she has more or less no issues with them even though she’s no expert with turning her sword into stuff yet, but then catra comes out, and suddenly adora can’t even block a single punch because catra laughed at her :( AND suddenly her sword can’t turn into anything but a cup. why adora? are you thirsty? it’s even funnier because none of this is real, and adora KNOWS that none of this is real, but she’s still Affected when fake catra says her seductive “hey adora” and she decides oh i know! i’ll turn my sword into a d*ldo with holes! oh wait never mind, is that a flute? damn it now she wants to Serenade catra. that’s even gayer than wanting to have sex with her. “did you mean to do that? because if you did it’s a terrible weapon.” “is not! >:(“ adora’s comebacks are like. kindergarten quality shit. i would make fun of catra’s insult too but in her defense that’s not actually catra. so adora tries to hit fake catra with her musical instrument and it doesn’t really work so she tackles fake catra and pins her to the ground. and looks,,, low key aroused as she does it okay adora.... she’s not real please remember that.... ur already a furry please don’t also be a bot fucker “what are you waiting for? you gonna play me a song on that thing?” yes she WAS catra! that’s what i’ve been SAYING don’t be mean to your girlfriend when she’s trying to serenade you :( adora gets angry after this latest act of oppression so she raises her hand, about to hit fake catra, but she stops right before the weapon can make contact, and her face softens. “i knew you couldn’t do it.” fake catra fades and the audience finds out something adora already knew. none of this was real, and even if she had hit fake catra and killed her, real catra would be fine. And Yet,,,,, big fucking sigh bros. haha y’all ever so hung up on a chick that you can’t even kill a fake simulation of her? even though she’s your enemy? lmaoooooo anyway the training simulation ends and adora is so depressed she transforms out of her she-ra form and asks “did you have to make her so mean? :(“ even tho light hope is about to come out and yell gay slurs at her. light hope shows up and is very confused. is catra... not mean? was my catra ooc miss adora? :/ did this catra hit different? too hostile? not like what ur used to? :/ go to hell adora if you made catra into a sim and picked her defining trait it WOULD be MEAN god everyone’s a critic. and then adora is like ok ur right :( catra is mean.... but have you considered making your simulation’s fake catra one that will hold me gently in her arms? have you considered that maybe i don’t want to fight her and that i want to kiss her instead? god damn it light hope you bitch. you fucking homophobe.

light hope is like okay cool. this latest performance was ur worst one btw and adora is like why do you THINK and is like i wanna be the very best :( like no one ever was :( and protecc etheria :( “but catra, she’s just in my head” ;) oh yeah i bet she is adora JFJSJDJSJD “when you grow up with someone, they know how to push your buttons :(” that’s very true adora. but you also grew up with many people such as lonnie, rogelio, and kyle. and you don’t seem to give a shit about them :/ so i guess “grow up with someone” really means “be in love” huh. i love you but do NOT lie to me ever again. after this, we see the real catra :’) she’s back at the horde training kyle, lonnie, and rogelio. “she-ra is too strong to defeat with force alone. but she’s slow and easily manipulated.” yeah maybe for you! maybe she slows down when she fights you because ur pretty and ur voice is sexy! way to flex ur privilege :( not everyone can manipulate she-ra because she’s not in love with all of them ok :( just u :( later on, we’re back at the war meeting in bright moon. bow says “we’re defeating the bots, but more keep coming. while we’re using our resources to hold our borders, the horde hasn’t had to deploy a single soldier.” hey! that’s a perfectly normal statement right! one that does not mention any specific person. there should be no reason for anyone to respond to this by bringing up any individual. guess what adora says. guess what she fucking says. i’m so fucking done oh my god. “typical catra >:(“ did... did bow MENTION catfkakdjsjdjsjs????? i’m fucking WHEEZING. adora. baby. could u. like. chill out? :/ re catra? for like one second? no? okay guess i’ll have to live with it. adora is so hung up over the “hey adora ;)” she heard from fake catra during training that she has to repay the favor when she fights entrapta’s upgraded bots. adora looks into the camera of one of the bots and just. she just KNOWS catra is watching and she’s correct. and she’s like “hey catra ;)” before punching the camera and cutting the live stream. catra’s response isn’t to immediately ditch the horde and go kiss adora (booooooo) but to. try and explode she-ra using one of the other bots. okay. i guess we all cope with arousal in different ways :/ when the bot explodes and adora realizes her attempt at seduction did not work out the way she intended (press f to pay respects), she gets all “>:( catra” which is very cute and iconic of her. and it’s apparently her way of coping with the situation so i’ll just let her be! 9/10

ties that bind: fuck you swift wind. what the FUCK. i can’t believe adora had to go on some stupid quest with the horse all because she would be fiFTy sEVeN pERcenT mOrE eFFeCtivE with him. who gives a shit. catra getting kidnapped and tied up is clearly the superior plot here and adora wasn’t there for it?? which, i know is the whole point, but also, why did they have to put her with the horse. would’ve rather seen adora with literally any of the princesses instead. haha jk. but also, am i? it is important that adora gets over her hatred of swift wind and bonds with him. but also, is it? sigh, let’s get on with the show. bow and glimmer set out to go bring back entrapta. “let’s go get adora!” bow baby. u r so woke. i love that attitude. yes y’all should’ve absolutely brought adora along. no she was not doing anything important. “adora’s training!!!!” glimmer baby i love u but why :( why would u do this :( anyway, bow and glimmer get tricked into thinking the horde is torturing entrapta so they (accidentally) kidnap catra. bow is an absolute sweetheart who just. is sweet to everyone so he tries bonding w catra and is like “come on, i bet even the horde has friends. what about adora? :3 you two grew up together. what was she like as a kid? :3” because adora is bow’s best friend and he wants to know more about her <3 best boy <3 and catra just hisses at him because if she spoke she would probably say. adora was everything to me. adora made me laugh, she played with me, she took care of me, she protected me even when everyone else looked the other way. just seeing her would put a smile on my face. she held my hand. she hugged me. she was my shoulder to cry on. adora was the only good thing in my life at the horde. i have been in love with her my entire life. and now she’s she-ra. anyway. catra decides to annoy glimmer into letting her go, and glimmer gets so frustrated that she says “how did adora take years of this? she didn’t run away from the horde. she ran away from YOU” which. is about the most horrifying thing you could say to catra since she like. really believes that. and adora’s not even there to defend herself :( and say shit like. Well It Helped That I Was In Love With Catra And That Every Moment We Spent Together Was Filled With Laughter And Joy Because No One Else Has Ever Made Me This Happy Even When We Were Stuck Together In The Worst Place On Etheria—stuff like that u know? :/ anyway catra is like :’( —> >:’( “adora’s gonna dump u one day too glimmer!!” + “you and adora are perfect for each other, i’ll give you that. earnest, naive, ridiculously easy to manipulate. it’s adorable!” wow catra. u think…… adora…. is…. adorable? wow…. :’) djdjdjdjdjdj but yeah. she really said my gf is cute! my gf is earnest! and that’s pretty much it on the catradora front. notice how i didn’t say a word about the horse plot. yeah. :) i mean i physically couldn’t because this is a catradora based evaluation post. but ya. u get the point. 7/10

signals: huh! nothing! except when glimmer says “catra was right!” and adora’s face is like... u kno. u know how she gets when catra is suddenly brought up. 2/10 but the whole ghosts thing is cute. adora believing and wholeheartedly being scared of ghosts makes me think... catradora buzzfeed unsolved AU

roll with it: the absolute RIGHTS of this episode. adora planning obsessively because “you’re not taking the biggest variable into account :( catra </3 she’s been behind every horde plan, she led the attack on bright moon, she’s devious, she’s very cute—“ and everyone is like omg adora calm down,,,, okay fine we’ll fantasize about ur gf. so everyone is all: this is my catra headcanon <3 glimmer is like. catra is a sexy femme fatale. bow is like. catra and i would make so many sick fucking puns. and adora is like :( y’all are all headcanoning catra WRONG :( she’s sexy and funny and cute the Way She Is :( why mess with the original recipe? :( except she’s wrong because season 4 and 5 will exist one day. but she is not wrong because season 1-3 catra is also very good. adora u do u. have fun laughing at everyone’s interpretations of ur gf. go ahead and brag about how uve been in love w her ur entire life. adora is like. all ur plans suck. obviously catra would block or duck or jump up really high or look really cute or smile and dazzle u with her charms. how DARE you underestimate my enemy gf. and then everyone devolves into their cool plans again and adora is like CATRA CATRA CATRA >:( so everyone is like ok fine we are going 2 bully her. and we get this epic scene where they do impressions of catra, but it is visualized like: different versions of catra keep flanking adora, and she in that scene is clearly very seriously considering having a fourway with femme fatale catra, prom catra, and punny og catra. but in like uh.... a cool platonic way. anyway, everyone is like. hey adora. we know ur paranoid and obsessed with ur gf. but can we just attack the horde now? could you chill the fuck out? and adora is like. u wanna know the worst that could happen? fine. “i’m the heaviest hitter, so catra will separate me right away. trap me, take my sword, do Something so i’m helpless when she turns on you. she knows Everything about me, EXACTLY what i’ll do, EXACTLY how to take me out. they’ll overwhelm frosta and mermista with bots, they’ll fire on perfuma, and use her to draw bow out into the open, pinning him between the bots and the horde soldiers. glimmer will teleport in to save him, but she won’t have enough magic left to get out, trapping them both. catra will make me watch all of it before she Finishes Me Off.” which..... weirdly kinky, but okay, and also weirdly sweet if u think about it? like catra grew up thinking she was never as good as adora but adora even with her new she-ra powers now is convinced that catra is so good that she can predict and counter and overpower anything adora throws at her, even with her super-powered friends and allies <3 and she...... lets it paralyze her with fear and blames herself for anything that could possibly go wrong which is really sad and not good :( but stuff can be two things! and. we’re kind of trying to be gay here so let’s continue on the gay train <3 the princess alliance realizes that adora has major issues and give her love and support so adora is like oh nice!!! time to run in without a plan and stay true to my brute strength colors <3 and she’s so excited to see her gf..... only to find out, her gf isn’t there?????? the fuck???? she spent hours planning their fight date only to get stood the fuck up??????? she’s so distraught over it as she fights scorpia she goes through the five stages of grief. she’s like... catra’s really not here?? and she left you in charge???? and babe i get that ur jealous and upset that ur gf didn’t show up but hey :( don’t hate crime scorpia like that :( 8/10

white out: adora is upset that she hasn’t seen her enemy gf in a while so when the squad finds out that the horde is doing stuff in the north(?) adora decides that they must immediately go there in case the horde (catra) is doing stuff that she must stop the horde (catra) from doing immediately. and it works! they bump into the super pal trio! but before that, we see entrapta show catra the red disk that makes she-ra go RAGE and adora go floop. it’s basically a Make Adora Delirious/Drunk Crystal <3 catra gets an evil hate boner when she hears that the disk “takes away she-ra’s powers” and is like damn entrapta ;) why didn’t you tell me about that sooner ;) later on, the best friend squad bumps into the super pal trio! adora sees catra and is like. hey remember last episode? what the fuck was that babe. step the FUCK up. run away with me? <3 but here’s a more literal break down of what really happened: catra is threatening entrapta as she... tends to do when she’s interrupted by adora who says “catra! >:(“ completely ignoring that there are other people there who she should also greet. i mean it’s just manners u know? “it’s been a while.” is not an excuse. u haven’t seen entrapta either for an even longer time. and u had nothing to say to her? i get that ur gay and in love but have some respect okay :( catra is happy and decides it’s time to seduce her. we get yet another “heyyy adora ;)” for the books. adora starts to ignore everyone present again and banters pettily with catra about how catra lost the battle of bright moon, because you know :( she hasn’t seen her gf in a while :( and she didn’t get to rub things like that in her face :( and catra is like haha lmaooooo loserrrrr and it really pisses adora off so she’s like okay down to business then! go away >:( and catra’s like oh u want me to go away? make me ;) and so they literally. run away from everyone else. i’m not making this shit up they literally said those things and just ditched the group. and both groups, who have not said a fucking word to each other since this confrontation began because the lesbians are so fucking loud and clearly everything they discuss is personal and not an invitation for group convo, they’re all left there to be like..... i guess we should fight each other now? and scorpia is like UGHHH goddamn it. and u really feel for her u know? :/ u try and u try to ask a girl out and she’s so stupid she doesn’t know ur asking her out on a date, but her stupid ex walks in and all she has to do is run and catra runs in front of her ready to go on a date. what the fuck. anyway, catra and adora are also fighting. adora’s better at transforming her sword into stuff now so she summons a rope (ok kinkster) to grab catra’s leg and pull her towards her and she threatens catra with her sword, saying “don’t move.” catra’s response? “oh, please. you’d never have the guts.” and god damn it catra it’s not that she doesn’t have the guts! :( it’s that she loves you and doesn’t want to hurt you! and also she’s not into necrophilia! catra continues with “you know, as much as i love our fights, it’s way too cold for this.” i hate them so fucking much. they really do get off on this shit!!! i hate them but also mood!!!! stop flirting with each other ur both so goddamn annoying omg. “why don’t we try something new? ;)” yeah. something new like hmm what if y’all kissed? haha, just a suggestion! but no, catra decides to use the red crystal thingy :( haha SIKE i’m not :( at all i’m very much :) because we’ve been WAITING for drunk adora. i love that delirious baby. what a fucking cutie. but because she-ra’s sword is the one who gets poisoned, she-ra goes all angry and evil and catra is like that’s hot! but it’s not what i signed up for but also... oh lmao she’s fighting her friends? nice. this is hot again. complacently, catra goes “this is the greatest thing that’s ever happened!” causing evil!she-ra to realize she exists and trying to kill catra for real, and catra is like NEVER MIND I DID NOT SIGN UP FOR THIS and she’s like “adora wait :(“ which is like. babe no :( babe u were supposed to turn evil in a sexy way :( we could be sexy and evil together baby :( babe :( thankfully for catra adora’s not the only one who has a crush on her so scorpia tackles she-ra, separating her from her sword, and she goes back to adora. catra gets the sword, laughs, and says “that went so much better than i could’ve ever hoped.” did it?????? ur so stupid ur gf was about to murder u and u were ready to simp for ur life. then she goes “looks like you’re mine now, adora. >;)” and like. lifts adora’s face up by the chin with the tail end of the sword. and. let me just take a deep breath here. uh. What The Fuck Is That. HELLO?????? why is that. okay. HHHHHH. why!!!! good god!!!!! i hate sexual tension. anyway, catra tells scorpia to carry adora inside bc adora’s not wearing enough layers and she doesn’t want her gf to get cold :( jk but uh, they get adora inside, and catra is once again obsessed with her. she sits right next to her and pines like “always so perfect.... look at you now.... (i HATE how sexual this sounds) you’re coming back to the horde under my command.....” like. COME ON. why is she like this. ur allowed to be evil but i draw the LINE at u flirting with adora she’s not even AWAKE. and scorpia is like. could u. could u not be obsessed w adora for one second? it’s kinda harshing my vibe :/ and catra is like hehe she ra go >:( haha funney. we can turn the rebellion’s own hero against them. That’s Good™ i wonder which of your friends i’ll have you annihilate first... and then she giggles to herself and it’s so cute but babe. once again. stop flirting with adora while she’s out cold she won’t be able to flirt back :( and then the most. upsetting part of the ep happens. catra LEAVES and makes scorpia watch over adora before adora even wakes up so we don’t get! to see! catra with drunk/delirious adora!!!!!! what the FUCK. what is the POINT. i am DISTRAUGHT. hello?????? why were we robbed. whatever. it’s still good but come on not even one scene? :( scorpia is annoyed as she should be and is like UGH just wanted to be alone with catra but nooooo im stuck babysitting her “”””””ex-best friend””””””” which we all know is code for just. ex. LMAO fkdkdkdk like this isn’t even reaching we BEEN knew. anyway adora is being. so cute. so goddamn cute i am in love. adora barely even remembers her name but when scorpia is like hm what’s the passcode to the lab? adora goes BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP BOOP and puts in catra’s super long fave number. that is so fucking cute that she knows and remembers that and thinks that catra would use it even tho she’s not even. in the right state of mind. and scorpia gets jealous obviously like ohhhh u know catra’s favorite number and i don’t! u grew up with catra and she’s been in love with you her whole life and i don’t have that! fuck u adora. even when u and catra are fighting each other tryna kill each other u can tell there’s a real bond there :( and like scorpia I’m so sorry baby I know :( they’re in love and it’s very annoying :( and i know adora is very annoying but have you also considered that she is very cute? that she is so lovely? and yeah that’s why catra is in love with her and shit :( seahawk and scorpia fight over adora and adora is like. hehe. catra mean <3 she’s so mean <3 and so hot and cute and sexy <3 omg im gonna marry her hehehehe <3 both sides reconvene to fight the bug, and adora finds glimmer vaguely familiar but doesn’t recognize who she is exactly. but she’ll remember catra’s long ass fave number. ok whore. catra, who’s also stupid, sees adora and is like guess I’ll drop all other priorities to get her! and tells scorpia to find the sword because she’s going after adora again. she’s so determined to keep adora that she.... catches a moving arrow. and throws it away. fjdjdjdjddj DAMN ok sheer gay determination is THAT strong huh. but it’s also sad because catra’s so busy fighting she doesn’t get to see adora being super cute :( it’s fucking wasted and not FAIR. catra thinks it’s funny that anyone would expect her to willingly give the disk up, because she’s got control of adora now, and control of adora means that adora won’t leave her.... which is not healthy :( but also HHHHHH but also it’s okay because their relationship gets healthy in the future and that’s very sexy of them <3 the disk is broken by scorpia in the end, and as adora regains.... conscious???ness????? idk??? her sense of reality??? sobers up???? anyway she and catra exchange this one last very heavy look, right before catra is grabbed by scorpia 9/10, except i want to take away so many points because of the wasted potential, but also i wanna add back so many points because of “looks like you’re mine now, adora ;)”

light spinner: ewwww shadow weaver ewwwww hordak i’m so sorry catra baby so sorry u had to interact with them instead of adora :( 0/10 </3

reunion: I AM SO SORRY. I AM SO FUCKING SORRY. THIS EP IS SO GOOD. BUT. I CANNOT BELIEVE I HAVE TO SAY THIS. THIS IS ONLY BECAUSE THIS IS A CATRADORA EVALUATION OK. therefore the rating is.... is..... :( 0/10 :( i know i am distraught too. :( despite what a masterpiece it was... there was no catradora :(

[sunflowerhae]

Lifeboat

N.J (2k)

A/N• this is purely indulgent. It also has quite heavy themes, but at this point are any of us surprised. I want to make something clear, the reader doesn’t do what she does bc of what happens with her and Jaemin (I’m trying not to spoil). I mean, that’s just a tip of the iceberg type situation. That being said, if you are having similar thoughts as our dear reader, please call your countries suicide hotline, and/or talk to someone you trust in your life. ALSO, I am not trying to romanticize any of the topics I wrote about, I’m trying to show that even the people that seem to have it all can be just as lost and broken as the rest of us, also that the most important thing you could be to a person is someone who asks them if they’re okay. Sometimes, that’s all a person needs - Someone to listen.

READ!⚠️angst, suicide,character death, drugs, heavy self-hating words, depiction of depression/mental illness, not specified, but insinuates⚠️

{🎵SOTS☁️; Lifeboat, Elle McLemore}

The world seemed to close in on you as you stared at the boy who stood before you with a hardened gaze in his eyes. While you only stood a good 3 feet away from him, you could feel the anger and helplessness radiating off of him, transferring itself onto you in sadness and heartbreak.

“Why?” Was the only thing you could manage to get past your lips.

“Y/n, it’s not that I don’t like you, of course I do. We’ve been dating for 2 years, but I’ve just been... uncomfortable almost the whole time. It’s not your fault, it’s just, your life. I can’t handle being with one of the most popular girls in school. You seem to have it all figured out, and everyone loves you, and I feel pushed to the side sometimes.” You didn’t understand why Jaemin was mad, but the small space under the bleachers where you both stood was enough to suffocate you to the point where you didn’t care to ask.

He didn’t understand.

They never understood.

No one.

You wanted to fight to save your relationship, but the words choked into the back of your throat, just like they did when Soojin would bully people in front of you, and you wanted to scream at her and pull the other person into your arms and whisper that it will all be okay and apologize apologize apologize, but you stayed rigid on her flank, silently trying to survive until you could get to Jaemins arms, or to the bottom of a beer bottle at yet another house party you were constantly forced to attend with your other two friends.

You choose to swallow your spit, and ask him, “is this because of soojin? Did she say something to you?” You knew your “dear” friend had a certain distaste for your long term boyfriend, because - as she had worded it - his kind doesn’t belong next to someone that Soojin had deemed acceptable enough to befriend (you); “His kind” being not necessarily the most popular. Him and his other friends were amazing people, and you wished you would have befriended them on the first day of freshman year, instead of the blonde girl in your Art 1 class that always had a red scrunchie. When Jaemin introduced you to them, you could tell they were hesitate to let you into their life - what with your position within your schools hierarchy system. You honestly didn’t blame them. However, after a while they warmed up to you, and you felt like you finally fit in with people. You thought these people would become your life long friends; long after you’ve left high school and forgotten all about the life you unwillingly lead.

You suppose that is no longer the case.

“No, yes, god I don’t know, y/n. It’s just, everything! You have friends that are bitches, and I never know when you’re just going to leave me and spread some terrible rumor about me!” He was silently yelling now. It was after school, and the football team was on the field - the other side of where you stood - practicing. There were people running on the track, cheerleaders practicing next to the field, leftover students wondering the grounds. Everyone was living, moving on with their lives and turning along with the Earth - why did you feel frozen? Why did you feel like nothing was ever going to keep moving and be okay and the world was never going to be beautiful again?

“Is that what you expect me to do, Jaemin? After two years of knowing me, is that what you think of me?”

“God, y/n, maybe! I see who you align yourself with so I wouldn’t be surprised if you were a bitch just like them!” You understood he was just hurting, like you, but that didn’t make the words hurt any less. You took a couple steps back from his figure with slow nods, before turning around fully and booking your way to your car.

Jaemin watched your retreating figure with tears curling into his eyes. He left not long after you did, still thinking about you on the way home. He didn’t know this at the time, but that was the last time he ever saw you. His first love, his first heartache.

You felt guilty.

You always did. You always had this insistent chewing at your intestines; this constant voice in your head telling you that everyone was better than you, and that you didn’t deserve the praise you got for being a good person.

You tried to fight the words and the icky feelings off with trips to the volunteer center - usually with Jaemin. You went that night, hoping that this constant pain in your heart after hearing jaemins smooth, venom-filled words would choke back and leave your system, like the terrible feelings usually did when you helped people. However, no matter how many people smiled at you, and no matter how many lives you got to help, the feeling only grew more and more.

You are worthless, y/n.

You only do charity work for your own need.

No one likes you.

You’ll never be loved.

Not even Jaemin loves you.

These ill thoughts were a normal occurrence for you. Usually, Jaemin would lay you down, rub your stomach, and whisper in your ear how beautiful you were to him, inside and out.

You were a nuisance and a waste to him, y/n.

The feelings never left, and you could tell people knew something was wrong with you, so you chose to leave the center early. On your way out, a familiar face had asked you where Jaemin was. You pretended you didn’t hear them.

Your room was dark. Usually, if you couldn’t have Jaemin, you would go to your parents. However, they were away at a dinner event for your mother’s work. You would never go to Soojin, and while you loved Haeyong, she had a tendency to tell Soojin about what you two privately talked about; always trying to get brownie points with the blonde girl who seemed to secretly hate her. You figured there was someone you could go to, and it didn’t hurt to try.

Y/n [10:57pm] u up???? I kinda need someone to talk to rn hAha. Read

Y/n [10:59pm] hello? 👉👈 Read

Y/n [11:02pm] Haechan why r you leaving me on read bro?? Ik he’s your best friend, but we don’t have to talk about him, I just need someone to talk to pLS pls. Read

[MISSED CALL FROM Y/N] 11:02PM

Haechan [11:03pm] listen y/n we shouldn’t talk anymore, I’m sorry. You were a good friend, but Jaemin was and always will be first to me. And he’s right, we never know when you’re going to do a 180 on us and tell all of our secrets to everyone. We can’t - and never have been able to - trust you. I’m sorry, really. You’re a popular girl. You don’t need us, you’ll forget. When we became friends with you, we didn’t really want to, Jaemin kinda forced us to, I hope u understand. :/ we’ll forget about u, u forget about us. Deal? Read

Y/n [11:04pm] um ok. Sorry for bothering you all, have a good night Read

Y/n [11:03pm] when will u be home?Read

[MISSED CALL FROM Y/N] 11:04PM

Mom [11:06pm] not for a while, ask Jaemin to come over if you’re scared of being alone. Read

Y/n [11:06pm] mom i hate to be annoying but can u and dad come home rn??? I need u Read

[MISSED CALL FROM Y/N] 11:06PM

Mom [11:08pm] are you dying? Has someone broken in? Are you unsafe?Read

Y/n [11:08pm] um,,,,no Read

Mom [11:10pm] well then no y/n. You know how much this award means to me, I’ve been constantly working lately and finally might get recognized for it. If I leave now, I might not get it. Can whatever you need wait? Read

Y/n [11:11pm] Um yeah. I love u Read

Mom [11:12pm] u too💖 Read

Why were you never first?

Why was there no one who asked you if you were okay?

If there was, what would you say?

See y/n? No one likes you.

You’re a bother to them.

Maybe you should fix that.

Maybe if you made their lives easier, they would love you.

You didn’t deserve their love, but maybe?

Maybe the pills could love you.

They were always there for you.

Maybe, they could help others love you too.

Love love love love.

Maybe.

Maybe.

They say your parents found you in bed.

They thought you were sleeping. I mean, all your lights were off, it was late.

But in the morning, when your mother came to wake you up and saw that your eyes were wide open, well....

They found the note on your desk across the room.

It was dated a year before.

You had written it a year before.

Everyone admitted that it was such a beautiful note. Heartbreaking? Yes. gut-wrenching? Of course. But beautiful, absolutely beautiful.

They gathered everyone into the gym the next day in intervals. Freshman, who didn’t understand what was really happening, but had heard your name and definitely knew who you were, and could put two and two together.

Next, the sophomores. Like the freshman, they only had heard of you. Some had met you, some cried. You were kind, they knew.

After them, the juniors. Chenle and Jisung were sitting in the corner. Jisung was sobbing into Chenle’s lap, while silent tears fell down the olders’ face. You had always been willing to play video games with them, and were such a kind hearted person. They remember last night, when they were all sitting together and haechan had read your texts you sent out loud, and all of them were so busy feeling for Jaemin, that they blindly informed Haechan on what he should say. On how to break your heart. Chenle wished Haechan had called her.

Finally, the seniors. Soojin and Haeyong sat in the back, as always. They were both upset because you had not been answering their texts.

Renjun, Haechan, Jeno, and Jaemin were sitting on the other side. They had not been told what the assembly was about, but when the teacher got the call about it, halfway through math, she sat at her desk for a couple of seconds with her head in her hands. They knew whatever the assembly was about was not good.

Haechan was the first to react out of the four.

He whispered your name silently with wide eyes rounded on his face. His mind went to the first time you met him. You played him in a round of Overwatch to get him to warm up to you, and easily beat him. Besides Jaemin, he was probably the one you were closest to.

Jeno just kept looking at his lap with evident tears denting dark spots onto his jeans. Renjun, who was sitting next to Jaemin, couldn’t take his eyes off the boy to his right, terrified that he would faint.

Jaemin felt sick. He knew he looked pale, and his head felt a bit dizzy. He tasted metallic in his mouth, and finally registered that he was biting the inside of his cheek so hard, he was drawing blood. He wanted to leave, but he was too far up on the risers to get down.

Soojin cried. It was uncharacteristic of her, but at this point she didn’t care. How had she not seen it? Was she that self centered that she had really not seen it on you? Her best friend?

Haeyong wished you had called her, wished you had told her. But why would you? She knew she didn’t deserve to hear your heartache, but she still wished.

They read out your note. Your beautiful, heartbreaking, gut-wrenching note. They read it. And the student body listened.

I float in a boat

In a raging black ocean

Low in the water

And no where to go

The tiniest lifeboat

With people I know

Cold,

Clammy and crowded

The people smell desperate

We’ll sink any minute

So someone must go

The tiniest lifeboat

With people I know

Everyone’s pushing

Everyone’s fighting

Storms are approaching, there’s no where to hide

If I say the wrong thing

Or I wear the wrong outfit

They’ll throw me right over the side

I’m hugging my knees

And the captain is pointing

Well who made her captain?

Still, the weakest must go

The tiniest lifeboat

Full of people I know

The tiniest lifeboat

Full of people I know

Lemme know if you’d like a part two? Idk. Like I said this is purely indulgent so it’s not that good sorry :///