#bro literally was like WHAT IS THIS HORRIBLE PLACE

[dollyprincessollie]

avery brainrot is returninf sorry 2 whoever it may concern

[lavellane]

IVE NEVER GOT THIS HOWE DIALOGUE. THROWING UPPPPPPPPPPPP

[pinejay]

"i strolled into the kitchen, dropped a raw egg into a teacup of raw hamburger, mixed it up and ate it." HUH?!!!!

[milo-is-rambling]

Now why the hell do I have such intensely realistic dreams I had to wake up and stare at the ceiling for like ten minutes to make sure I was alive.

[kavehater]

I’m a descendant of the prophet (kind of) and all I have to show for it is my obsession with an anime blond guy …

[ellecdc]

Mother, i had a request but i forgot what it was 😭😭 i was sooo excited tooo 😫

But in trying to remember i had another brilliant idea!!

Reader x Reggie where theyre both stoic, slightly volatile 🐍 but theyre actually really soft and mushy. And then SURPRISE!! Theyre actually also dating Remus who takes care of them and is super protective. Maybe its revealed near the full moon and possessive Moony makes an appearance.

Siri is flabberghasted; Barty is horrified his darling sweethearts are be defiled; James is shook; and Lily is yhe ultimate bro and super proud of Rem.

Anyway, im sorry your computer was so mean to you. I hope you're looking after yourself 🩵🩵

......this is going to go down in history as my most controversial post........😈 may I present to you.....poly!MoonWater 😈😈😈😈😈

poly!moonwater x fem stoic!reader (i.e., Remus Lupin x Regulus Black x reader)

Sirius Black was admittedly currently going through a hard time.

Now, depending on who you asked, one (literally everyone and anyone) might say it was his own fault.

But if you asked Sirius Black? It was everyone else and their insufferable happiness that was to blame.

His insufferable best-friend-that-anyone-could-ever-ask-for finally landed the woman of his dreams and said woman of previously mentioned best friend was horribly in love with the sod.

Even his baby brother was happy! Which seemed like an oxymoron because in looking at Regulus Arcturus Black, one would assume that boy had never known a single moment of happiness in his life.

If one took into account their childhoods, they’d be right.

But Regulus Black, who was quiet in a way that made you feel like you were always being judged and ridiculed (you were) who very rarely had a kind thing to say about anyone had found happiness (read: a girl) who, for all intents and purposes, could be his personality doppelganger.

One difference, however, was that you were quiet in a way that always had one feeling like you knew too much, saw too much, and you were far too perceptive for anyone’s good. You always seemed to be analyzing the people around you and Sirius, sue him, found that incredibly disconcerting. 

He did not wish to be known, thank you very much. 

And even Moony! Moony, the bastard, was seeing someone! Fucked if Sirius knew who though because the sod wouldn't tell anyone who they were. He just kept popping back to the dorm room covered in hickies and looking far too pleased with himself whilst offering no details.

He was even spending entire nights away from the dorm, and always made sure he had the sodding map with him so they couldn’t even see where he was.

So yeah, Sirius was pissed.

And before you ask – no, it’s not because he was lonely – in fact, he had frequent visitors in his bed thank you very much.  And NO, he didn’t want to discuss the fact that perhaps if he didn’t run at the first sign of commitment or emotional intimacy, he too would have happiness. 

Perhaps he just wanted everyone else to be slightly less happy for his own sake.

Did no one ever think about Sirius Black?

Give right now for example. He and Regulus had been...hanging out (if that’s what you could call the two of them sitting together not speaking as they each did their own homework) since Sirius insisted it was important to do so, especially since Sirius no longer lived at home meaning that their usual means of brotherly bonding (read: trauma) no longer took place. 

And then James showed up (he was so lucky Sirius loved him) who was but of course accompanied by Lily Evans (she was so lucky she’s as lovely as she is) which turned into a small James Potter roast on account of Regulus and Lily both having years’ worth of material from hating him up until recently, and Sirius had loads of material on account of him being a certified hater. 

And then Moony showed up, and if Sirius didn’t know any better, he had definitely been fooling around mere moments ago.

But Sirius did know better.

“Moony, what broom closet did you just crawl out of and where’s the poor soul that was stuck in there with you?” He spat.

Remus merely chuckled and pulled a book out of his bag, making himself comfortable in one of the library’s grandfather chairs. “No one was stuck anywhere with me.”

“No, I’m sure they were a very willing participant.” Regulus drawled, looking particularly bored for all intents and purposes, never bothering to lift his gaze from his book.

“No need to be jealous, baby Black. You’re more than welcome to join me in such broom closets.” Remus joked with a wink.

“Oi!” Sirius swatted at Remus on behalf of his brother (he’s welcome). “That’s my baby brother you’re talking about, and he’s taken thank you very much.”

“Merlin knows how,” James muttered none too quietly, “it’s not like he’s very approachable.”

Regulus lifted a lazy eyebrow as he looked at James from above the pages of his book. “I’ll have you know I’m very approachable to those I wish to be approached by.”

“Hi Reggie!” 

“Get fucked.” Regulus called back to Barty Crouch Junior, hardly sparing his best friend a glance as he approached him from behind. 

“Wow, Reggie’s in a good mood today, huh?” Barty said as he sat on one arm of Regulus’ chair, causing James to laugh until he realized that Barty wasn’t joking.

Suddenly another body showed up and gently sat on the other arm of Regulus’ chair.

Sirius watched as Regulus’ impassive face completely cleared of all contempt and he looked up at you with pure and unadulterated adoration.

It made Sirius sick. 

“Bonjour, mon cheri.” He murmured softly, in complete contrast to the harsh, militarized way he had previously been spitting at everyone else. 

You smiled gently at the boy as you pulled a notebook out of your book bag and produced a small, pressed flower, handing it to Regulus between your thumb and forefinger.

Regulus looked at it like you had just presented him with a hundred-year-old bottle of fire-whiskey.

“Did you pick this for me?” He asked gently, plucking the flower from your fingers with matching delicacy.

You offered him a quiet ‘mhm’ and Sirius noticed a shy smile grace your lips. Regulus’ eyes moved from the flower to your face, and he gazed at you like you had hung the moon.

“Merci, mon amour.” He said reverently and pressed a kiss to your cheek.

Lily looked at the two of you with a smile one might see on the face of a proud mother, James looked at the two of you like he was seeing a bowtruckle for the first time, and Remus looked oddly taken with the show of affection. Barty was apparently the only other sane one amongst them – oh gods, maybe Sirius really was losing it.

“Where the fuck has this Regulus been the last six years?” Barty muttered incredulously. 

Without much effort on your part, you reached over Regulus’ shoulder and shoved Barty off the arm of the chair and onto the floor before sliding to sit directly in Regulus’ lap.

“You...alright, Crouch?” James called tentatively from his place on the other side of the couple. 

“Oh, I’m fine. That’s just how she shows her love.” Barty said as he bounced back up, completely unperturbed. 

“Is it now?” Sirius asked, tone dripping with sarcasm. Remus swatted Sirius’ leg with his book.

“What?” Sirius squawked.

“Be nice.” He chided.

“I am nice! And why do you care?” Sirius argued, though he never got an answer. 

“I think they’re cute.” Lily announced, sending a sly smirk towards Remus.

“See? Lily gets it.” Remus said with a shrug as he went back to his book.

Sirius hated every single one of them.

But if Sirius thought that had been rough, he had no idea what was in store for him today. 

Sirius, Remus, Peter, James and... Lily had all been sitting at the Gryffindor table during dinner when Sirius noticed you rushing into the Great Hall looking rather frazzled.

“Whoa, what’s going on with Y/N?” Peter asked, apparently having noticed you at the same time as Sirius.

The conversation stopped abruptly as Remus’ head snapped towards the entrance, seemingly on high alert upon hearing of your arrival.

Sirius watched as you scanned the Hall before your eyes fell on their group. Your face crumpled in misery, and you rushed over. You were usually so polished and poised, any and all emotions locked away behind a well-fitted mask, no wonder you and Regulus got along so well.

Regulus...something must have happened to Regulus. Sirius had a dreadful feeling settle in the pit of his stomach; what could have happened to make you rush up to him looking that alarmed?

Except...you breezed right past him.

“What’s wrong, lovebug?” Remus cooed quietly, causing Sirius to choke on his own spit.

“He was hurt during practice.” You cried quietly, voice no more than a whisper as you moved to step between Remus’ spread legs where he had rotated on the bench to face you. His hands landed on the back of your thighs were his thumbs rubbed soothing circles into your tight clad legs.

“Okay. How hurt?” Remus asked just as quietly, ignoring the sputtering happening from James, the chuckling from Lily, and the horrified expression painting Sirius’ face.

“Dislocated shoulder.” You cried miserably, as if you’d just been told Regulus was damned to spend the rest of his life in a vegetative state.

Remus’s mouth looked like it was fighting really hard to smile as his eyes pooled with equal parts fondness, worry (for you or Regulus, Sirius wasn’t sure at this moment), and no shortage of love.

What the fuck was going on right now!? 

“What the fuck is going on right now!?” Sirius demanded, his outside voice echoing the one inside of his head.

You startled a little at his exclamation, leaning closer into Remus who increased his embrace around you. 

“What’s happening dear padfoot, is it appears your brother has been injured during quidditch practice. Perhaps you ought to go see how he is?” Remus taunted as he continued running soothing hands over your body.

“Yeah, yeah; the sky is blue, and people get hurt in quidditch. Now what is this!?” He screeched gesturing wildly at the two of you. 

You looked equal parts embarrassed from the attention and equal parts wanting to tell Sirius off for downplaying what you clearly thought was some great upheaval in Regulus’ life when Lily spoke up.

“I’m surprised it took you this long to notice, Pads.”

His mouth dropped open as he turned to regard his best friend’s girlfriend with a look of pure betrayal.

“Et tu, Lily!?” Sirius cried as James sputtered, “you knew!?”

Remus just smiled as he shoved his nose into your collarbone. You brought up a hand to begin scratching at his scalp, and Sirius was certain the sods leg would be thumping in contentment if he were a dog.

“Let’s go, Sirius.” Remus finally muttered, interrupting an argument that was going nowhere between James, Lily, and Sirius. “You’ve got a brother in the hospital wing.”

You hurried on ahead of them, clearly not interested in the talk the two friends were about to have.

“So, are you fucking my brother too or just fucking him over by screwing his girl?” Sirius finally spat with his arms crossed petulantly over his chest. 

Remus groaned and looked up at the ceiling, as if praying for strength to get through this conversation with Sirius Drama Queen Black. “Sirius, can you ask me a question that’s less likely to get me punched in the face?”

“No.” Sirius muttered. 

“He’s happy, Sirius. I promise.” Remus pressed. “He...he really deserves all the love he’s getting.”

And Sirius would have been an absolute arse if he’d had anything to say in response to that...

Don’t get him wrong, Sirius was an arse and did have many things to say in response to that, but the words died on the tip of his tongue when they walked into the hospital wing to see you sitting on the end of Regulus’ hospital bed.

Regulus, save the sling holding his arm to his chest and the fact that he was sitting in a hospital bed, looked as casual as Sirius ever remembered seeing him, smiling at you with...

Love.

A lot of love. 

“I’m fine, amour, I promise.” They heard him plead with you as they approached.

“Still have all your limbs, I see.” Remus commented as he walked over and pressed a gentle kiss to Regulus’ hair, causing the youngest Black to blush something fierce as he looked over at Sirius. 

“I’m sure she told you I was comatose.” He commented quietly, turning and offering you a wink.

“Don’t tease me...” You moaned, looking very much like you still wanted to fold Regulus up and put him in your pocket for safe keeping.

“Yeah, don’t tease her, love. You’d be sitting in this hospital bed all on your lonesome with no one you dote on you otherwise.” Remus jokingly chided. 

“Love.” Sirius groaned with a dramatized gag. 

“Oh, grow up, Siri.” Regulus barked.

Sirius’ head snapped over to his brother at the sound of his childhood nickname. Regulus’ cheeks were still dusted pink, whether it be at the unplanned outing of his relationship, being hurt, or the gravity of this moment.

Regulus hadn’t called him that since they were children...like, real children before the trauma, the alienation, the disinheritance, the running away...

Perhaps because Regulus had spent all of that time living in unmeasurable pain. Just like Sirius had.

And maybe, now...Regulus had people who made him feel brave enough to be vulnerable like this, to reconnect in ways he long thought impossible. 

Fuck Moony and his good naturedness; Sirius hated that Remus was right about this. 

“Oh, fucking Godric.” Sirius muttered petulantly as he pulled Regulus into a bone crushing hug.

Literally.

“Sirius!” Regulus groaned before Sirius was ripped away from his brother. Sirius expected Remus to be the one throwing him to the floor for inadvertently hurting Regulus’ injury...but it was you. 

“You idiot.” You hissed as new tears formed in your eyes, immediately moving to grab the ice pack from the bedside table and gently placing it on Regulus’ shoulder.

Remus and Regulus looked at you with so much adoration, Sirius was certain hearts were going to start pouring out of their eyes and floating around their heads.

“I’m fine, thanks!” He called out as he hauled himself up off the floor. 

“Oh good.” You said sarcastically.

“I don’t like this.” Sirius grumbled, causing all three faces to turn to him.

“Pads...”

“Sirius, please.” Regulus implored.  

“What if you break his heart?” He asked no one in particular. “What if you hurt my baby brother? Who am I supposed to support then? Or you; what am I supposed to do if you hurt my best friend? And what if you tossers hurt Y/N!”

The three of you shared a look before his brother turned to him. “Sirius, if we breakup, I give you permission to side with Remus.”

“And if we break up, I promise you can side with Y/N.” Remus added.

“Nope.” You said quickly, “that’s fine, I don’t need to be included in this.”

Sirius groaned out a sigh of relief. “Oh, thank gods. Okay, okay. I guess I'll allow it then....”

“THE THREE OF YOU ARE WHAT!?” Barty screeched as he stood at the door of the infirmary, still in his quidditch kit.

“Do we actually have to have this conversation again?” You groaned quietly.

Remus shot Regulus and extremely guilty look as he slowly stood.

“Remus.” Regulus warned.

Remus grimaced and slowly made his way over to you.

“Remus John Lupin, I swear to Salazar...”

“Regulus, I love you; I do. But...he’s you’re friend an- NOW DOVE” He shouted, and the two of you took off in a sprint out of the infirmary. 

“Quite the catch you’ve got yourself there Regs.” Sirius taunted. 

“Sod off.” Regulus muttered as Barty made his way over to his bedside.

“Don’t mind if I do.” Sirius jeered as he, too, took off out of the infirmary, leaving Regulus Black to deal with the likes of Barty Crouch Junior on his own.  

don't hate me

[deadghosy]

HEADCANNONS TEEN! READER LEARNING HOW TO DRIVE

various x gn! teen reader

LUCIFER

• Tried to teach you how to drive only for you to drive into a wall.

• Pretty much he has a helmet on with body armor and his seltbelt on saying sum,

"safety first!"🤓

• He would react calm to you driving ike a bat from hell as he gives you tips. Only for you to use the tips horribly.

• He revoked your driving license and privileges.

CHARLIE

• She asked you to go get some stuff for her only for you to ram the car into the hotel upstairs.

• HOW THE FUCK DID YOU EVEN GET UP THERE?!

• She screamed out of shock but calmed down seeing your gremlin ass smile as you hopped out the car holding out whatever she wanted you to get for her.

• She also revoked your driving privileges and license. She doesn't want anyone hurt or yourself.

VAGGIE

• She already revoked it the moment you drove into an old demon lady.

• She's not risking SHIT!

• She tried to help you again but you pressed the gas so hard you almost flew out the driving seat.

• So yeah she revoked ya shit, even the keys.

ALASTOR

• Absolutely NO.

• He's not stepping foot into your car.

• He might as well slash your tire with a sick smile cause he doesn't trust you driving at fucking all.

• Literally just teleports you to the places you want. He ain't risking nothing if he wants to live from your terrible driving.

HUSK

• He was drunk, and you were sober. Next thing this fucker woke up to was you inside of a shop's wall chuckling nervously...

• "What in the fu-"

• You guys had to walk to the hotel handing the keys to Charlie who is just happy you and husk are okay.

• Husk never trusted you to be his Uber.

ANGEL DUST

• Lord have mercy

Angel better pray you don't come across Valentino because your driving is so bad to the point you accidentally almost hit Valentino.

• Angel was in the car on his phone scrolling through hellgram (instagram) when he heard you cuss loudly and swerve almost hitting his boss Valentino.

• You speeded the fuck out of there while

Angel's eyes were wide as a pizza. Bro hoped Valentino didn't know who was in the car. But you chuckled a little.

• "I kinda wished I ran that motherfucker over."

• Angel nodded chuckling as he sits properly in the passenger seat.

ADAM

• This fucker literally was the driver...he rammed into your apartment as you screamed shock.

• "SUP BITCHHH!"

• Literally you forced him to fix your wall as he mumbles cuss words under his breath.

• But if you are a worse driver than him. He's gripping the fuck out his seat while either screaming of fun or fear.

PENTIOUS

• He passed out scared.

• YOU CANT TELL ME HE WOULDN'T PASS

OUT

• He is such a precious boy holding onto the car door to the point his hands are sweaty for holding it for so long.

• His egg boiz are having a blast in the background as they jump in the backseat while you do this shit like Tokyo drift. Like shiiit you might as well join fast and furious.

[canthandlethishit]

what if tim and jason relationship isn’t like ‘you hurt me but it was the pit rage and youre sorry now so we good’ but tim absolutely retaliate by making jason’s life hell and it turns into a full out prank-war and they become friends again from that

like Jason fully meant to hurt tim in the titan tower and tim going ‘pffft you robin on steroids’ ‘omg Jason finally some age-appropriate clothing and real pants’ ‘bro you gotta lay-off the cows with all that leather’ <- tim has the pass to make these jokes because *points at titan incident* he makes damn sure he uses the pass with grace and excellent execution

like i want Jason to slowly go like ‘im sorry for legit trying to murder you’ and his reasoning being because i legit meant it and that was horrible and the pit influence was real but it only served to amplify all the other fucked up stuff and not the root of all his actions

and tim accepting the apology on his terms like ‘its chill bro ig i understand where it came from and it was fucked up asf but hey i got to vocalize all this morbid too soon jokes i would’ve never got to so’

like a more gradual jason - tim relationship being built up, and tim being a lot more of a little shit and jason is like damn you earned your robin place in the snark-roasting department alone

also when damian comes in the picture and after the whole time stream thing jason and tim can make fun/ one up each other form their being replaced reactions

‘you literally dressed up in traffic light colors with shorts and beat up a minor’

‘you literally joined an assassin organization, became an international criminal and lost a spleen’

‘that’s rich coming from you, red hood, the CRIMELORD’

[klavlock]

cumplane poly au where they love their husbands. they love their husbands so much. luo binghe is shen qingqui's whole world and shang qinghua literally built his own ideal man.

but fuck, isn’t that the problem? sometimes, mobei jun isn’t REAL. he’s literally a figment of shang qinghua's imagination. this whole place is. and he’s been trapped in his own imagination so long he’s forgotten the world he came from. he can’t even remember his own birth name. but he remembers cucumber-bro. he remembers those abrasive comments, he remembers how those full takedowns of every thing he wrote made him feel. he remembers it better than he remembers his original parents faces.

it’s not— it’s not inherently romantic. for either of them. it’s a NEED. for shen qingqiu, there is exactly one person in the whole world who truly understands that longing for a world he doesn’t even want to go back to, not really. for shang quinghua, there’s only one person who gets him. the him from before. this beautiful, poised man with his fan language and obedient doting husband is also the only person who gets his love of memes and horrible porn and preservative-laden food.

they don’t do anything about it, because how could they? they’re loyal to their husbands, they love their husbands. but the thing is… proud immortal demon way was a harem novel once. and shang qinghua had written luo binghe and mobei jun with more emotional intelligence than was common for this world (mainly for his own sanity.) so… they don’t have to say anything. their husbands come to them.

and luo binghe is crying, and mobei jun is stone-still with clenched fists and a clenched jaw. but binghe BEGS his shizun to do what will make him happy. that seeing his shizun upset and hurting and longing is way worse than any jealousy could be. and mobei jun says nothing but when shang quinghua looks at him, he just nods in agreement.

so it’s not often. they don’t need it often. but now and then, when shen qingqiu is disassociating like a motherfucker luo binghe calls on his airplane bro to bring him back down to earth. or when shang qinghua is on his third day of no sleep, plagued by fears that none of this is even real, mobei jun teleports him directly to his cucumber-bro's bed for cuddles and kisses and horrible millennial memes whispered into his ear until hes laughing away his anxiety and - eventually - falling asleep.

mobei jun and lou binghe don’t understand it. but they are happy their husbands are happy. and that’s what matters.

[equalheart]

enhypen using cheesy pick-up lines on you

comedic fluff! enhypen!member x reader, © equalheart REPOST FROM HYKAI

jungwon ( 정원 )

“Y/n, come here.” Jungwon approaches you, who’s sitting on the couch watching tv. Hs sits down beside you and leans into your ear to whisper something, which you don’t pull away from. “Are you a camera man- er, person? because you make me smile.” he grins and you fake gag, lightly kicking him. “That was horrible! where did you even hear that??” He sighs, now grabbing your hand while seated next to you. “It may have been horrible, but it’s true.”

heeseung ( 이희승 )

You’re just chilling on the couch with your phone and you hear someone clearing their throat behind you. You turn around to see Heeseung standing behind you. “Hey, my name is microsoft. Can I crash at your place tonight?” and the second he winks at you you lose it. Laughter fills the air and Heeseung reaches to hug you even though your still on the couch which he is behind. “Was it that bad?” he giggles. “Yeah, actually. It was. You’re such a nerd.”

jay ( 제이 )

Jay is not the type to randomly throw weird pick-up lines at you. He mainly just loves calling you petnames. which is exactly why when on a random tuesday afternoon, he goes “Life without you is like a broken pencil.. pointless.” it took you aback. of course, it was stupid sweet, but what could you even say to the poor guy? ‘yeah, you too’?? “That sucked, but also I feel the same about you, baby.” his hands glide against your waist, pulling you in from behind as you turn around to grab his face, placing a kiss on his jaw. “That’s energizing to know.” he smiles softly.

jake ( 제이크 )

“Yo, Y/n.” You look back to Jake, letting his presence take your attention. “Areyou a parking ticket? because you’ve gone fine written all over you.” He raises one eyebrow and you cringe. You get up and walk up to him, making him bite his lip—until you slap him lightly on the cheek. “Get a life.” You turn to walk away but he wraps his arms around your waist. “I’m your loser.” He says, a flirting tint to his voice.

sunghoon ( 성훈 )

You were sitting on Sunghoon’s lap, facing the tv while watching your show. His arms were wrapped around your waist, making you feel butterflies—and those did not go away when he went in to whisper in your ear. “Y/n-ah. are you a charger?” you turn your head at his question. “Do I look like a charger to you?” you raise an eyebrow and he giggles. “No, I just can’t live without you.” he smiles, showing off his fangs. You don’t even realize it, but the sight makes you blush. “Does that mean you’re a phone?” he looks at you, cuddling into you more. “If that’s what it takes for you to love me? Then yeah, I am. i’m your phone.” — “Okay, now you just sound stupid.”

sunoo ( 선우 )

“I need to tell you something suuuuuper important.” says Sunoo, while you squish his face in one hand, sitting in his lap. You hum, and he continues. “If you were a chicken,” the first part of his statement confuses you, but you let him continue when he pecks your lips. “You’d be impeccable.” he grins, awaiting your response while you squish his face once again, this time, more aggressively (in a way). “That was.. horrible. never open your mouth again.” you land another kiss to his lips, laughing to yourself.

ni-ki ( 니키 )

Riki pushes his hair out of his face, blurting some nonsense (which isn’t uncommon) as he does so. “Man, you got a hold on me.” you look over at his figure. You’re just playing smash bro’s together, what got him distracted? “What are you talking about?” you say with a slight chuckle to your voice. “I’d literally fall for you in zero gravity,” You cringe. Hard. “Ew, since when did you get so cheesy?” you both giggle, multitasking while you both aim for the smash orb. “I’m only like that for you.”

[lovelybee666]

Hiii i wanted to ask you if you can make a yandere smiling critters x female smiling critter cat reader who loves sleep?

I love how you write,💗 good job! If you can't place the order, I will understand!

Sorry if I wrote something wrong, English is not my first language.😭

Autor's note: I'm going to say three things, the first is that English, just like you, is not my first language XD (that's why sometimes something is not understood what i write) second is that thanks to this request I finally have motivation =D and third is that I will divide this into three parts (because I am lazy and leave everything half done /hj)

YANDERE!SMILING CRITTERS X FEM!CAT SMILING CRITTER!READER WHO LOVES TO SLEEP HCS

(part 2 and 3 coming soon!)

DOGDAY

• Dogday sometimes thinks you're a distant relative of Catnap.

• I even imagine that sometimes he sees Catnap's back and thinks it's you painted purple.

• Anyway, he thinks that you are very adorable and from time to time he sleeps with you (he would do it all the time but he can't since he is the leader of the Smiling Critters)

• He likes to comb your hair when you sleep and sometimes he even tickles you a little.

• If you sleep on his shoulder or on top of him, he stays still as a rock (literally)

• he don't even breathe (I guess they breathe)

• He likes to watch you when you sleep (bro he already looks like Catnap wtf)

• If he have the opportunity, he takes photos when you sleep.

• He likes to listen to you purr and sometimes he puts his ear on your chest to listen to you purr (I hope no one thinks this in a weird way(I know they will, I KNOW The PEOPLE FROM THE INTERNET ENOUGH TO KNOW THAT👺)).

BOBBY BEARHUG

• YOU. ARE. SO. ADORABLE.

• she likes to watch you sleep and sometimes she even sleeps with you, obviously spooning style

• She likes to hug you while you sleep

• She loves it when you sleep on top of her or on her shoulder.

• Sometimes she wonders if when you sleep you dream about her (you probably don't and if you dream about Bobby, it would be a horrible nightmare that will leave you with lifelong traumas lol)

• she loves when you are sleeping and start purring, she definitely recorded those moments.

• just like Dogday, she comes to think from time to time that maybe you are related to Catnap since they both sleep and are cats.

• she has a hidden photo album where there are only photos of you sleeping.

• And yes, she makes pillow forts or other things for you to sleep on, she makes them as comfortable as possible.

Try to make this as fluff as possible—

Btw there is a 97% chance that the second part is Kickin and Catnap and the third part is Bubba and Crafty

[therantspot]

I've been seeing a lot of eurylochus hate on tiktok and I've come to rant about how you're allowed to hate him if you want to (I understand) but also, from my point of view, the man doesn't deserve it all. (this is in no way hate towards odysseus, I love the dude)

the way I see it, he literally is just a man. he's made mistakes, obviously. shouldn't have opened the bag, shouldn't have questioned odysseus in front of all the crew, shouldn't have eaten the cows...

but people are calling him a hypocrite for the way he shouts at ody for sacrificing 6 men when he was ready to run for his life when they were with circe. and stupid for opening the bag when he had one job. and dumb for eating the cows.

here's the thing though. eurylochus started out in the musical as the guy that's worried for the dangers that await, he just wants to get home, like everyone else on the ship. he's the first ready to battle for the chance of food to feed themselves and skeptic at polites' view of being nice. he's all "let's get our food by force and get going, we gotta get home" ("I say we strike first, we don't have time to waste, so let's raid the place and-")

but then the kindness plan sort of works. for a quick second, before they start to get slaughtered by a cyclops. odysseus gets them out of it because he's a great leader tho. smart and with a plan, the kind of man eurylochus has relied on for over 10 years. his brother.

but... his brother is tweaking a bit, he had this fight with his matron and lost one of his best friends along with idk how many men that we're under his care... anyone would be traumatized, even if Odysseus doesn't see it yet (I believe he had a time of denial where he wanted to stay positive like polites, but deep down he was spiraling). and eurylochus shows his concern in luck runs out. was he wrong for voicing his concern in front of the crew? absolutely. but I think eurylochus' brain was also tweaking. bro was worried and wants to get home. he also can't help but think how in his war experience, there's many plans that have gone wrong, people around him keep dying and so what if? what if one of his captain's plans goes wrong and they're all goners? and Odysseus understands!! ("thank you for the concern (...) I understand that we're tired, I understand that we're fazed"), but he tries to remind him to have faith in him. so eurylochus does. and I think he's always had faith in his captain, he just didn't trust the gods to be in their favour anymore, because lately, they haven't. he also voiced it at the beginning of the song ("don't forget how dangerous the gods are").

and then eurylochus opened the bag. big fuck up. and maybe it's too far fetched and I'm just looking for ways to justify his behavior BUT. I don't think he did it just to disobey captain's orders. if he had done it because he didn't trust odysseus then guilt wouldn't have been eating him later. I understand it might be because Poseidon suddenly showed up and killed most of the fleet like a minute after he did, that's a big possibility, yes. I also don't think he did because he believed the bag held treasure. he trusted odysseus' word over anything else, so when he said the bag had the storm inside eurylochus believed him. but what if, just what if, by opening just enough the winds would propel them to Ithaca? then again, if the storm was holding them from getting there in the first place why would a man desperate to get home try that? this is not my strongest argument tbh.

then he wants to leave the men as pigs and go home. he truly just wants to go home (10 years of war, a horrible journey back when it should've taken like a week at most, my dude just wants his mom to pick him up and take him home and honestly, same). but bruh. he's been the one that's repeatedly said that they shouldn't trust strangers or gods, reminding everyone to be on their guard, and suddenly his men see a woman and forget all about it???? the guy is traumatized, mourning, tired, and angry. on top of that they placed an enemy that his men should've easily been able to defeat had it been a regular woman and they ended up as pigs, so he really sees no way of beating her and getting anyone back. of course he wants to run away!!! safe whatever is left before he loses himself completely ("look at all we've lost and all we've learned, every single cost is so much more than what we've earned, think about the men we have left before there's none, let's just cut our losses, you and I, and let's run")

and that's exactly the difference between eurylochus in puppeteer and odysseus in Scylla and mutiny. eurylochus wants to run away because he doesn't see another way out. he's seeing his friends disappear one after the other either to death or to magic, and he's on survival mode. whoever is left, whoever is still alive, they should leave before they aren't anymore. they all need to get home. odysseus however, he's blinded by the need to get himself home to see his wife and son. he's the one that has to get home, and to ensure that, they have to pass by Scylla's lair, because if they don't go that way, Poseidon might get them and if he does, he won't let Odysseus get out alive this time. so if 6 men is what it takes, he'll do it. it's not running away, it's sacrificing.

i think the next turning point for eurylochus is actually mutiny. but here it's important to talk about how much the journey has changed him, odysseus, and their relationship and the way they see each other. like i said, eurylochus starts the journey worried about what's up ahead and, like everyone else, thinking only about getting home. but he trusts his captain with his life in every decision he makes. he also speaks for the entire crew. odysseus also starts the journey tired and thinking only about getting to ithaca. but he's got 600 men to think about as well. as captain, their lives and deaths are on him, and with every turn, he loses more and more of these men. like it or not, he's responsible for it, even if he tried his best, even if he didn't mean for it to go in that direction; he's in charge, he's responsible. it's sorta like when parents tell the eldest kid they're the model for the younger siblings.

but in the polyphemus' cave, when odysseus panics and eurylochus has to wake him up from his unresponsive state, it's not only a blow for ody, it's also a blow for eurylochus. he relies on odysseus to carry them through and he wasn't answering. they were all going through the same thing, watching their friends die, but he was the one that's supposed to keep it together the most. alas, they're all just men. and that's when eurylochus' concerns and picture perfect of odysseus start to show and blur.

odysseus still tries his best to lead with kindness like polites showed him, taking care of everyone as he should, but with every passing day and with every hardship, it becomes more and more difficult to do so. and then, just when he thinks he's about to get the answer that will save them all, by going down to literal hell, the guy with the answer tells him he won't get home to his wife and kid (the thing that's been keeping him sane and giving him hope throughout this shit of a journey). that everything they've done, all the kindness, all the being nice, has been for nothing. he also realizes that he's taking way too long and he's losing too much, like his mom, who was left waiting. so he breaks (monster).

throughout this whole thing, he never doubted eurylochus would be by his side, and he lowkey neglects and takes him for granted. dismissing when he wants to tell him something ("whatever you need to say can wait some more, of that i'm sure" in puppeteer, and if he'd let him talk he probably would've been able to prevent mutiny, but he was too distraught and wanted time to think), and he was warned in keep your friends close too, even if he didn't know it. he was also warned by the prophet, but he still didn't know it ("i see a brother's final stand"). i think it's because while odysseus did want them all to go back home, at least during most of their travels, he mostly wanted to get home himself. deep down, he was always ready to make the sacrifices, life just hadn't forced him to make them or hadn't made the right circumstances or traumatized him enough.

eurylochus sees how the experiences change him from the outside, and what it means for the rest of them every time odysseus loses himself some more. but this is odysseus, it's his brother, the man he entrusts his life to, the man that's guided them through war and the underworld, taken them out of the weirdest troubles, and the man that's most desperate to reach ithaca. and the guy that's seemingly gotten his shit together (finally) and is ready to do whatever it takes, slay whoever now (different beast). so he'll pull through, right? he might be a monster towards the dangers that are trying to get them, but he's always done his best to protect them, so there's nothing to worry about.

so a part of eurylochus has trouble believing odysseus would really sacrifice six of their friends, because he doesn't want to believe it. but the smartest man he knows wouldn't just tell them to "run for their lives" when he's well aware they're in a fucking boat. and he is desperate. eurylochus asks, begs, odysseus to tell him he's wrong in thinking he didn't just do what he did, because he needs his brother to not have gone completely off the path they paved at the beginning of the story ("use your wits to try and say i'm crazy and mad, that this is all a trick the gods have sent").

but he's too far gone in his tunnel vision, and eurylochus has to think of himself and the men that are left too, who also want to get to their families. and at the rate this is going, he's losing too many friends. at first, odysseus was to blame only in the "he's responsible for all of us because of his role as captain", but he never meant for their men to die and he tried with all his might to keep them safe, but as of right now, he used them as bait and let them die on purpose. he can't stay in charge if he won't fulfill his role as keeper of them. so eurylochus stages mutiny. rightfully so? maybe, maybe not. i personally think he didn't do it out of hate, he just didn't see another out. but he wasn't a hypocrite any more than odysseus was, so in my opinion, he was justified.

anyway then they get to the sun god's island. and people like to say that he shouldn't have killed them cows. and this is one of the parts were the hate makes me lowkey mad. as humans, when we're pushed to a point of heavy starvation or anything that endangers our lives, we enter survival mode, where instincts take over and we do things we wouldn't do if we were in our right minds. and that's exactly it, eurylochus and the rest of the crew weren't in their right minds anymore. they're hungry, and they don't have the willpower odysseus seems to have. they've given up after everything they've been through, and they're hungry and don't think they'll make it home anyway, so they eat the cows. eurylochus can't help it, and even after all, he still cares for odysseus, but he doesn't believe in their chances anymore ("ody, we're never gonna get to make it home, you know it's true", "i'm starving/tired, my friend"). he's past the point of hoping, he wants it all to end, and he can only think of his hunger, the one thing he can actually do something about in that moment. ("how much longer must i suffer now? how much longer must push through doubt? how much longer must i go about my life like this, when people die like this?" he repeats it in plural as well, voicing the crew)

so in the end, he kills the cow. and then odysseus gets to choose and he chooses himself. he has to see his wife and he'll take any opportunity that allows him to. he's on survival mode too, just with a different goal, the one that keeps him sane and makes him push through everything horrible that happens to him.

the odyssey is a story that shows how its characters lose themselves to sorrow, each in a different way. so neither odysseus nor eurylochus are to blame for the way they acted, life pushed them to the edge and they each responded in different ways. it wasn't fair to either of them, they're just men that can only withstand so much.

[ticcitobysbf]

little kid nina n adult nina

+ a BIG ramble about jeff and ninas relationship

Oookay starting off strong nina was just 11 when jeff burned her. The fire kind off just reached the right side of her chest and some spots on her scalp.

Yes, it made some of her hair strands black, but it didn't change her genetics at all so she just grew it off.

When she was 12 she just wandered around with her backpack and hiding from the authorities. Taking her food mainly from the trash and some leftovers from the little restaurant across the road (which it made her appetite grow stronger when she got older).

When she turned 13 she found jeff (im lazy so i wont explain much) while he was murdering someone on the spot. Jeff remembered her cuz he literally burned nina...

And nina was STARTRUCK. She DREAMED of finding jeff again and dis was her opportunity to ask shit and become his ally!

Jeff did not gaf lmao. He left while she was rambling about everything she has done to get to him to his dirty ahh cabin on da woods.

So uhm yeah!! She follows him and he gets annoyed at her. He argues with her but she dgaf at all she's too busy looking at the stuff in the cabin.

It sort of naturally happens but she starts to sorta live with him. Jeff just accepted it lol.

Their relationship when great ig. He would bring food for both of them sometimes out of pity for nina since she would just sit on the old couch in the room and get her head stuck in her journal for HOURS.

He saw nina as a "sister",,in a way.... And nina saw him as her prince charming that would rescue her when she needed. Of course he never saw nina as nothing else than a crazy fan that tried to be him.

He would also bring her to a lot of parties that took place in abandoned buildings. There would be alcohol, drugs and a lot more explicit shit. CLEARLY not a good environment for a 14yo, which only made her mental health worse.

Jeff also took 14yo nina to get a nose piercing from a shady stranger, taught her how to smoke, shoplift and just how to always get her way in general.

Nina was a little slow kid and this made jeffs rage outbursts WORSE. He would yell at her often because of this and she would just take it. Nina would develop a fear to doing shit wrong and would be a little more attentive on the stuff she did.

When she turned 15 she sewed her mouth back together since it started hurting more whenever she smiled or laughed. She'd also start having a little bit more independence over herself and would start doing her own killings. Jeff made it seem so easy, so what could go wrong?

Holy shit it was horrible haha ya but im not getting into detail on that for now.

Yeah everything went "normal" until she was freshly 17, she gained her own experience and thoughts and she even had to cut open and sew her hoodie again cuz it didn't fit her anymore! (She refuses to take it away lmao)

She was still VERY conflicted with her feelings towards jeff so she TRIED to avoid him by making new friends n stuff

And yeah dats all i got to tell

With reboot nina going in the game I feel like their relationship went from "I want jeff" to "I wanna be jeff".

And they're quite literally Dave and Bro Strider LMAAOO

Kthxbai

[blueberryismilk18]

can you please do hcs about Brad? (bistro huddy)

Hi!!! Thanks for being my first ever ask, don’t be afraid to ask for more, I wasn’t sure what kinda you wanted so I kinda assumed! I love this sassy man, tho I’m more of a Joey fan myself sorry it’s not that good again first time, I really hope you enjoy :3

*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺𝓑𝓻𝓪𝓭༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Platonic:

Coworker:

🍨 Brad has to get feels someone's vibe before fully introducing himself, to which he thought you were chill and he liked that

🍨 From now on you guys are besties even outside of work you guys hang out

🍨 You guys playfully bicker all the time almost like him and Nichole but you were nicer to him about it (cough cough not changing his name on the system to dickface) 

🍨 please let this man rant about how annoying Terry, Tim, or Nichole is during yalls breaks

🍨 You’re guys friendship is one of the only good things in that horrible place

Customer: 

🍽️ Again like the first thing I said he needs to get to know your vibe, if he likes your energy then he'll tell you his name.

🍽️ In order for you guys to be friends you need to be a regular (Your poor wallet)

🍽️ Amber always makes sure to seat you in his section, one time thought in the very beginning or y'all's friendship Amber had seated you in Nichole’s section, he questions you so much on how you could even be friends with him (in more of teasing and playful way, but still comes off as rude) just to get under his skin

🍽️ Appreciates seeing you, again makes this job a little more bearable

Romantic🌹:

Coworker: 

🍰 Just like the platonic part that could be how you guys first started off. Until he noticed how much happy he felt when you'd be working the same shift and or hours as him.

🍰 Highlight of this sassy man's day

🍰 Nichole of course noticed it first, she would not stop giving him shit for a week. 

🍰 Eventually the kitchen caught wind of this and they would tease both of you when you guys were near each other, confusing you in the process

🍰 Bridgette and Aaron find out from pickles and that's where it all went down hill.. of course Aaron is the one who slips it by accident to you… Infront of Brad

🍰 Brad was pissed but didn't know what to say, he wasn't a baby of course but bro was actually too stunned to speak, Nichole started to laugh ngl

🍰 Let's just say Terry gave you guys a lecture about leaving “personal feelings at home”

🍰 You guys talked about it after work it went great. You guys started dating and you both got shit from Nichole (I love her guys) 

🍰 Now more into the headcanons part, let thisan rant about his day please, he cannot take it anymore he might lose it

🍰 Tim teases the shit out of both of you, while Pam is super sweet and always complementing you guys

🍰 Don't listen to Terry he's just a sad sad hater

🍰 The kitchen guys always tell Brad what a lucky guy he is to be dating someone as beautiful/handsome as you

Customer: 

🍷 Again you gotta be a regular

🍷 Give this man a big tip, your have his heart!/j 

🍷 But fr tho, be nice to the guy he's gotta deal with this red necks and rudeass customers

🍷 Over time he'll just love the company you give him, tells (begs) Amber to seat you always in his section

🍷 He can't help it! He really likes you but doesn't want to admit it first

🍷 You gotta ask that man out, he literally cannot refuse (go somewhere that isn't bistro huddy, he does not want to hear anything from them)

🍷 He's pretty much a very sweet boyfriend

🍷 Tries to spend a lot of time with you and uses some of his sick days to just take you out and stuff

🍷 I hope you enjoy eating most of your meals with stolen Bistro Huddy stuff! What a gentleman! 

🍷 most of his money comes from your tips!/j (just don’t be like Madge and Cybiel, maybe in private…)

[mio-actuallywrites]

Dorm leaders reacting to their s/o having extremely bad phantom pains and trying to hide it from them?

Dorm leaders reacting to you having very bad phantom pain and you trying to hide it. 

Hopefully headcannons are good for you anon!

Phantom Pain= if you get amputated you may feel pain from the part of the body you got amputated. 

(Tell me if I’m wrong please, I did some research but not alot)

Sorry if this is horrible hopefully I didn’t let you down anon! And if you do go through phantom pain please feel better!

RIDDLE ROSEHEARTS

Riddle could sense something was wrong, but couldn’t figure out what. He noticed you were avoiding him, but once he did see you he noticed you flinching sometimes. 

When he could get caught up with you he had finally asked what was wrong when you finally told him what you were experiencing. 

He probably knew a little bit by his parents (forcing) teaching him about medical stuff. 

He probably would just be their to comfort you, and get you some medicine. 

Depending how long you would get it, he would give you the work you missed if you left class during the pain. 

And he was a little hurt you didnt tell him about it but it’s fine he there now. 

LEONA KINGSCHOLAR

Leona probably was sleeping when you first experienced it, but once he’s awake, boy is very observant. 

He probably wanted to nap with you but couldn’t find you, so he actually went up and tried looking for you. 

Once he did find you, his lion or animal reflexes ig just also sensed something was wrong, when he did ask though you just shrugged it off. 

However once he did figure it out, sorry Leona lovers but I feel like he would kinda shrug it off, and probably wouldn’t know what to do . 

I mean there’s nothing you can really do, so I guess he just sleeps (or sits) next to you and hope you feel better? 

( gives you his card if you wanted to buy anything to relieve you pain.)

Like Riddle his pride was hurt because you didn’t want to tell him. 

AZUL ASHENGROTTO

Azul was curious where you were, usually after classes you would come find him, yet you weren’t there, he think he hasn’t even saw you most of the day so now he’s really curious where you were. 

Once he does find you however he might’ve not noticed right away, but he does eventually. 

And once he asked what’s wrong you probably just brushed it off. 

However once he does find out, poor boy probably doesn’t even know what phantom pain even is so he probably has to research it or you tell him about it. 

Once he does find out however, he probably would do anything to make you feel comfortable, cook you food lend you a place at the Mostro. (You probably would find yourself in a contract with him about it after ngl.)

Wait there’s medicine that can help it? Count him in for the business side. 

He probably didnt act like he cared that you didn’t tell him, but in the inside he would be sad. 

KALIM AL ASIM

Let’s be honest, Kalim probably would not notice. 

You could probably easyily hide it from him, but let’s just say you told him when the pain got to much. 

Like Azul, he probably needed to get an explanation on what it was, but once he does find out he’ll probably spoiler you. 

You want that? He would get it for you, anything that makes you feel better!!

I feel like he would cry idk tho. 

He probably wouldn’t care you were hiding it from him ngl. 

VIL SCHOENHEIT

(I spent a whole while thinking what he would do so this is probably short)

Vil probably thought something was wrong so he sent out Rook to find out lmao. 

After Rook came back and found out Vil immediately went to find you. And before you could even come up with an excuse he already knew what to do. 

He would do skincare with you. 

(Sorry if this was super short!)

IDIA SHROUD

Since Idia games often he is very observant - when he’s not playing games. 

However if your both hanging out in his room, he will notice… eventually. 

And if Ortho was with you… then hiding the pain would be useless. Bro would literally just blurt out something like: are you feeling phantom pain rn prefect?

Bro would probably freak out but since Ortho was right there he would be able to find out what to do through him. 

He trying his best! So he might not be the best person when the phantom pain happens but he’s not the worst. 

MALLEUS DRACONIA 

I feel like this is a 50/50, Malleus knows what it is or doesn’t even know it. 

Where ever you meet, he can tell something’s wrong with his dragon or fae senses. So there’s like no point of hiding it. 

Like I said it’s a 50/50 so he might be the best at helping you or just doesn’t know until you explain to him. 

Probably would NOT leave your side until you assure him the pain went away!

And if Sebeks yelling is bothering you he’d probably tell him to shut up. (But in a very polite way.)

[onesidedradiostatic]

I take full responsibility for the number of times I’ve helped fill up your ask box but at least I’m entertaining (or at least I hope you think I am).

Anyway, I was reminded of what the fandom was like back when I had just watched the pilot back in 2020. I promise there's a reason I'm telling you all this. The fandom back then basically only had that plus whatever bones Viv would throw at us, so I didn’t know about the Vees (a bunch of other people who kept up better than I did knew tho) and mostly just saw a ton of people shipping Alastor and Angel Dust. And I was like, yeah that’s the most aesthetically appealing ship and I couldn't deny the amusing ways this could play out but Alastor is aroace so I wasn't fully on board unless that was addressed in some way. I just liked the fan comics where they become friends.

Now, the aforementioned reason. Imagine Shit Happens and Alastor becomes more friendly and comfortable around Angel just as friends. Like the two found something to bond over and now they're like bros. Now imagine Vox notices this and is SO MAD like Angel already takes up so much of his boyfriend's time and now hes after his crush?? how dare he??? And Valentino is misreading the situation as "oh great my boyfriend is obsessed with the celibate guy and now my favorite whore is too??". Neither of them are handling this well. They're fighting each other. Val is demanding more Angel time at the studio and Vox is finding his own ways to lash out at Angel. Velvette has to be the one to convince them both not to go to the hotel and start picking fights. All because Alastor made another friend.

sorry this is an older ask I've kinda slacked on asks these past few days. but yes, I really enjoy the idea of the alastor-angel dust friendship, the sex-repulsed guy and the hypersexual guy forming an unlikely friendship. but also love them especially in the context of the vees considering those two are LITERALLY the reasons for the vees attention on the hotel in the first place. like if they weren't there they legit would not give a fuck. them working together would make it SOOOOO chaotic for vox and val it's so funny. I don't think vox's attention on alastor really bothers val that much, he seems mostly entertained by it or just unbothered. he would be very bothered by angel dust's attention on alastor though. as for vox well. yeah for sure he's gonna be DOUBLE bothered by angel dust considering his already existing fucked up spite of him for the val thing, and NOW he's all buddy-buddy with alastor? oh fuck no.

velvette absolutely has to hold them back because she's the only one with any sort of brain cell left in this situation. it's horrible.