#bro literally I apologized to my mom and my mom was like

[silverwindptv]

.

[sylveon-and-velveon]

Playing "4 Big Guys" around the slashers

Shitpost idea has been made, so here XD

This will include: Michael Myers {OG & RZ}, Brahms Heelshire, Jason Voorhees, Billy Lenz, Freddy Krueger, Stu Macher, Billy Loomis, Thomas Hewitt, Bubba Sawyer, Harry Warden, Tiffany Valentine

Feel free to request any shitpost writing prompt ideas you can think of in my asks, I love silly non-serious ideas XD

Given the music is VERY adult related, this is 18+ ONLY

OG Michael Myers

Ain't gonna lie, the second you play that song he's probably staring at you instantly. Anger? Disappointment? Cursing your entire family and possible future children? Who knows! It's Michael-Fucking-Myers baby!!!

He's not used to anything sexual overall so hearing a song openly sing about gay sex, and in such a detailed way, would worry him. Not for the singer, no- more on your taste in music.

And don't even get me started on when he hears about shit being involved. The second he hears that being mentioned he's turning off the music entirely, patting your head, and dragging you away so you'll listen to something he likes instead to cleanse that weird mind of yours. Like... Kate Bush or something.

He'd like Kate Bush right? He looks like a Kate Bush enjoyer.

RZ Michael Myers

Judging you, hard. Though he ain't saying it. His aura is practically smellable he's judging you so hard.

Does he like it? No. It's loud, obnoxious, and profound filled. Ignoring the obvious "gay sex and other weirdness" part, the volume of the music reminds him of his childhood.

He's smashing the device the music is coming from. He doesn't care if it's your MP3 all the way to a damn TV or Alexa, he's smashing that shit to pieces if it means he doesn't need to hear it anymore.

What would he put on instead? Calming ambient noises that play for hours on end on YouTube. It's the exact opposite of whatever hellscape you just played. It's better.

Brahms Heelshire

Well first of all it ain't classical, so that's a point on the "I Hate This" list.

Second it's not a piano.

Third it's literally "4 Big Guys"-

Not only is this poor man confused about everything the singer is saying, I highly doubt his parents explained LGBTQ+ to him, he's also hating how loud it is.

"Who puts things up their ass?" - Brahms Heelshire 2024

You turn off the music yourself when he practically begs you to.

You're probably tryna hold in your laughter while he's sitting on the floor trying to figure out what the fuck he just heard.

Jason Voorhees

Is there a bigger word for "traumatized"? Because that man earns it.

You're lucky af, if his mom was live she'd hit you with a crowbar so fast- Not kill you tho, she wouldn't dare hurt her boy.

But yeah, he's not saying anything, nor moving. Bro's too traumatized. LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE-

You better give him his teddy he fucking deserves it TmT

Laughing his ass off until the shit is mentioned, even this horny gremlin has his limits.

Can you tell I hate shit kinks? XD

He'd want an apology for you blasting that song so far to that section. But no music! He hates Christmas songs, they're so repetitive and they all sound the same anyway.

Bake him a cake, the more unique the better. His favourite so far is red velvet with cream cheese frosting!

Then when he's finished eating you're getting railed by him not longer after, man's not changed. Not now, not ever.

Freddy Krueger

You can play this entire song with this man on REPEAT and he'd be fine with it.

I'd be surprised if he didn't given his track record and.... slicing open his skin to reveal green "blood" and maggots crawling out.

Would he laugh the first time? ABSOLUTELY!

Would he jokingly sing along, probably.

But he would TOTALLY play this song when going after his victims sometimes. Imagine dying and the last thing you hear is:

"4 BIG GUYS AND THEY GRAB ON MY THIGHS-"

Stu Macher & Billy Loomis

Billy is concerned for your wellbeing. Especially when you start singing it at full force with Stu joining in not long after.

Yeah Stu is enjoying this to the max!

Finds it hilarious, who the fuck wouldn't when you've got humour more broken than Brahms' doll-

But seeing you enjoying yourself to this.... absurdity, at least makes Billy calm down from worry. Now he's just concerned your taste in music may infiltrate your taste in movies.

I doubt the man's used to hearing music.... imagine this being his first time hearing it-

OMG he'd probably think this is normal for music.

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE??? XD

If it's not his first time hearing music though? No concern, laughter, nothing. He's neutral, given that this is something that makes you a little chaotic gremlin.

He's happy seeing you comfortable enough around to be a "gremlin" as you call it.

Bubba Sawyer

Don't traumatize him more than he's been already!!

Sure he doesn't realise it, or the fact he's used to it, but the poor guy's already traumatized-

Though he's probably more confused in the whole scheme of things. I mean, he knows what sex is. But just the surface of it.

So he's probably just learnt way too much in such a short period of time.

Oh lord what have you done-

Harry Warden

Okay first of all, why is there no GIF of this man? WTF????

Second; man's from the mines, man's old fashioned, you've probably just thrown way too much modern shit in his face way too quickly that he's just staring at you, the music video, and then the floor.

Poor miner is so confused, especially when the "cum starts spraying".

Oh god he'll probably think it's like dust from the mines spraying everywhere.

Fucking hell that's a vision-

Tiffany Valentine

Finds it amusing? Yes.

Judging? Not as much as you'd expect.

Girl's been through a wild ride, hearing you blast out "4 Big Guys" from your phone wouldn't be the most shocking thing in the world.

Hell. she'd probably encourage you to start singing along to it XD

Oh she's gonna use that song to torture someone with it. She doesn't know how yet, but she's got the idea in her head now

[star-girl69]

As much as I love overprotective Clarisse which believe me I DO😍😍 am I the only one who kinda wants to see a protective reader if something happens to Clarisse or even Ivy?!

I feel like Clarisse may just sit back and be Yh that’s my girl 🤭

Literally kicking my feet and giggling while writing this

Also I love your writing so much it’s so goodddd I check my phone for any new posts all the time and scream when you do

TYSMMMMM BAE ILY!!!!!! been in a writing slump recently. someone else please write a mind bogglingly good clarisse fic to inspire me again. lord give me strength…

forget the fact this is 2 days late. thank y’all 🙏🙏

anyways officially adding danny to the perfect family bc I DO WHAT I WANT!!!!!!!!!!!

ok so imagine this

clarisse is participating in some sort of contest

like

idk roman gladiators LMAOOOO

but basically it’s like a big tournament? and yk she’s destroying eating it up cooking, whatever you will

finally she gets to like the semi-finals and atp everyone kinda knows she has it in the bag

her opponents are scared

(trust an underground betting ring was formed. everyone who bet on clarisse is thanking the gods and everyone who didn’t is shaking in their boots)

clarisse is happy bc you and the twins (danny and ivy)

are sitting right in the front row cheering her on

and she got a wonderful good luck kiss from you

so not only is she happy and thinking about that but also she’s convinced that she’ll win just bc she got a kiss from you

so the fight starts, ivy is genuinely SCREECHING at the top of her lungs she’s so me she can’t be normal about anything ever

and you and danny are just regularly cheering for her 😭

eventually someone behind you tells ivy to shut up

YOU WHIP AROUND BC WTF???

harshest death glare in the universe. like even zeus would be a little scared.

ivy doesn’t even notice she’s chill

the other person quickly shuts the fuck up.

then you turn back to watch clarisse and the fights just starting, the other dude is scared and knows his ass barely stands a chance

she’s having fun pummeling him

ugh fight scenes are hard to write

so eventually she tosses his ass to the floor

“GO MOM GO GO GO BEAT HIS ASS MOM BEAT. HIS. ASS.”

“IVY STOP FUCKING SWEARING”

and this dude, who’s laid on the ground, who knows he’s cooked, decides the best option is to grab some dirt and throw it in clarisse’s face

and no one was prepared for this

like clarisse was standing over him with her spear at his throat, smile on her face, everyone knew he was done for- THEN HE DECIDES TO PLAY DIRTY AND DO THIS???

like everyone thought clarisse had it in the bag

the rules for this competition were that you’re not allowed to use anything but your person and/or pre-approved weapon(s)

NOT EVEN CLARISSE WAS EXPECTING IT

SO SHES DISTRACTED BY THE FREAKING DIRT IN HER FACE

SO WHEN THIS BITCH KICKS HER SHE GOES DOWN

DEAD SILENT!!!!!!!

EVERYONE GASPS!!!!!!!

whispers in the crowd… “oh bro is cooked…”

(sorry i’m obsessed w saying cooked rn)

and he is cooked

but by someone unexpected.

clarisse is wiping the dirt off of her face swallowing her shame she can’t believe she got distracted and let herself fall she should have saw it coming but suddenly she hears someone screaming

she opens her eyes and sees you menacingly walking towards this dude, who’s still on the ground and scrambling away

and what’s funny it you’re yelling at him like a mother would

the crowd is giggling…

“THAT IS AGAINST THE RULES. WERE YOU NEVER TAUGHT MANNERS??? WERE YOU NEVER TAUGHT DECENCY??? SHAME ON YOU SHAME ON YOUR PARENTS SHAME SHAME SHAME”

clarisse is literally sitting there mouth dropped open when you grab his ear and he HOWLS

dragging him back towards clarisse, he’s kicking and screaming and literally CRYING

“HELP HELP HELP ME HELP SHE CANT SO THIS SHE CANT I DIDNT DO ANYTHING WRONG”

“YES THE FUCK I CAN YOU BROKE THE FUCKING RULES NOW APOLOGIZE YOU LAWLESS SWINE”

“I DIDNT DO ANYTHING PLEASE I DIDNT”

one of the apollo kids who organized the event is looking around (kinda enjoying it) but mostly very scared

“technically you did break the rules… sorry pal…”

“PLEASE PLEASE HELP ME”

obviously, this is the hottest thing clarisse has ever seen in her life.

she’s sitting back on her palms, watching in utter amazement, trying not to bite her lip

someone loving clarisse… that gets her going

someone loving clarisse enough to PROTECT HER??? she’s about to explode. EXPLODE. she’s never needed you so bad in her life LMAOOOO 😭

and this bitch is STILL refusing to apologize

like damn it’s not that hard… it’s not like you have any pride left to speak of you just got dragged around by the ear 😭😭 bro you’re cooked just apologize and get out while you can

AND YOU’RE GETTING FED UP WITH IT TOO

“hey, dumbass, why don’t you look at the stands?”

you point, and everyone follows your finger.

ivy is a literal cartoonish whirl of her pink t-shirt and the white shorts with the little trees on them

danny is holding her back (with ease, might i add he’s strong as fuck 💪)

“i’ll let her out.”

“I DIDNT DO ANYTHING-”

“LET HER OUT”

he barely escapes that attack.

when you finally call ivy off of her attack, she stands next to clarisse, literally growls at the dude, before hugging clarisse

clarisse is still on the ground in utter shock.

she can’t keep her eyes away from you and ivy. she can’t get rid of the GLOWING feeling in her chest

is this… what it’s like… to be loved?

WAHHHHHH WAHHHHHHHH BITCH NOW IM THE ONE CRYING NOOOOOOOO 😭😭😭

danny eventually walks over and helps her up

then they all watch as you smile sweetly at this very traumatized dude and ask if he’s ready to apologize

“IMMSORRUOHGOEE IMSORHR ESEBIMS YORUUE”

(i’m sorry oh gods im sorry i’m sorry”

then you walk over to clarisse, rolling your eyes and mumbling about bad parenting, girl she pounces on you.

kisses you so hard in front of everyone

ivy and danny are hugging each other and shielding each other’s eyes, screaming, begging for you two to stop

“y/n” she breathes as she pulls away “you are… the most amazing mother, the most amazing girlfriend, and literally the love of my fucking life.”

literally twirling your hair “omg baeeeee you’re too sweet 🤭”

(y’all don’t end up leaving her cabin for a LONG time.)

after this clarisse definitely sort of realizes a whole new side of your relationship. seeing you publicly defend her like that, publicly care about her, love her, omg she is going crazy for you!!!

after this incident she definitely stops calling you her gf.

gives you a really pretty ring she got one of the hephaestus kids to make, starts calling you her wife

and nobody better have a problem w that lol or else they got two ares killing machines, one feral attack dog, and a literal mother who is not afraid to drag you by your ear.

—-

taglist:

@lvrue @t-wylia @laughingcheese037 @kroumi @urdeadpoet @colezb @rey26 @harmzilla @elliewilliamsbae @amberfreemansburntface @kyuupidwrites @neverwaakeme-up @shark1008 @liballer @heyimadison @nvirskies @pnsteblnme @mar2ss @restellsss @ravisinghs-wife @marsconer @evangelinexo @randomhoex @luvrrish @rebecca37 @saltair-and-palemoonlight @ace-spades-1

[moonwatcher3]

GUYS.

there’s a summary at the end btw

what if and hear me out here… Ruby is timid because @teethwitheyes101-blog was right about their head cannon and people look down on her for having the “weak fire” coloring? and so hear me out on this next one BUT. (scroll past the next picture)

tourmaline has one of the stronger fire colors in scale indications that teeth with eyes has supplied us with, so that’s why she was the stronger daughter who was hold and brave, because also scarlet has the scale colors right in the middle of ruby and tourmaline, btw !!SPOILERS FOR ESCAPING PERIL!!, so closer to the end of the book when it’s discovered that Ruby is actually tourmaline with a spell over her earring maybe just maybe it was so that way none of Scarlets kids would be brave enough to challenge her? because if tourmaline had stronger fire than Scarlet, Scarlet would be aware of the fact tourmaline would have much more strength than Scarlet did, so she killed the original Ruby and then the spell on the earring made “Ruby” believe she had never been any other dragon but Ruby, that way Scarlet did not have to die from her stronger daughter before she got the chance to be queen for the rest of her life and “Ruby” thought she was too weak to challenge her mom, so she lived obediently, then we break into the point when scarlet and “Ruby” are about to fight over who gets to be queen “Ruby” isn’t willing to do assuming she would never win, but as SOON as she gets to be Tourmaline again she’s confident in her strength and beats Scarlet resulting in the evil queens death, just think about it! Scarlet had an animus at the time when she had that earring made and she had two daughters one of which could have very well been able to kill her! and scarlet had already shown a willing to kill her kids, so with her last two kids what if she was so power hungry that she decided to off her weakest of the two then make the strong one believe she was weak rather than just having someone kill Tourmaline for her? also clearly Scarlet has a way powerful ego so she most likely would literally never been willing to hire an assassin rather than do the dirty work herself! also! she would want to kill her much stronger daughter while making a spectacle of it, she would want everyone to see it, but she couldn’t do that if she had a definite disadvantage! so as a summary, scarlet totally killed the real ruby because she was weak, made tourmaline (who is much stronger fire) believe that she WAS ruby for her whole life so that scarlet could be queen even longer!

this is long and possibly a yap sesh BUT i was looking for cool WOF aus to read through and teeth with eyes’ art came up making me think of the leaked pictures of the escaping peril graphic novel and how Ruby is darker in color than everyone imagined which gave me this whole thing that ive typed out :3 tbh i was originally looking for motivation to write my own AU but then this happened 😅 but this is so much more fun bro

apologies for the yapping but no one irl that i know likes wof like i do so you guys get to suffer my ideas 😭

also thank you teethwitheyes101! I didn’t want to tag you multiple times in one post but i did tag you because i do not want to look like i’m trying to steal art, and i did my best to crop the picture with your user, i hope you aren’t upset at me for putting your art in my post, if you are lmk!!

[mulletmitsuya]

Tokyo revengers groupchat

Warnings: swearing, suggestive, mommy issues, mentions of deceased mothers, brother issues (akashi's), mentions of physical abuse, mentions of suicide, depending on what kind of person you are, this might be kinda dark

Side note: i think i may be projecting too many of my headcanons on these people so i apologize for mischaracterizations😔🙏

Desc: it's Shinichiro's birthday!! (sneaking in the fact that it's also mine and i'm 19 today😋)

Izana: happy birthday Shinichiro

Izana: everyone's gonna say the same thing so i don't think there's a need for an influx of happy birthday messages

Izana: just dm, to prevent a pointless conversation

Shinichiro: aw thanks Izana😁❤

Mikey: HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Mikey: ANOTHER YEAR OF BEING A VIRGIN🙏🔥

Baji: you're such a loser man

Baji: with all due respect and no offense of course

Baji: happy birthday tho

Mitsuya: aren't you a virgin, Mikey?

Mistuya: a bit hypocritical

Mitsuya: happy birthday Shinichiro-san

Mikey: i had sex once, and meh

Mikey: 5/10

Mikey: being confronted with someone's dick and balls was crazy

Mikey: and i have mommy issues so i don't think it's a good idea for me to sleep with a woman

Mikey: but i would like to lay on one's chest as they sing me to sleep

Baji: what does that have to do with anything

Draken: no one asked you for any of that information, just so you know

Mikey: your mom asked me

Mikey: oh, sorry😔

Mikey: they wasn't even part of the joke. i'm genuinely apologizing😔

Emma: Mikey!

Emma: you know that's a sensitive subject 😠

Draken: not really, to be honest

Senju: why's it a sensitive subject

Emma: his mother left him

Senju: ...

Senju: Emma why would you tell me that

Mitsuya: i think we should word this differently or not talk about it, maybe

Mikey: Mitsuya's right, as always (boring 🙄)

Mikey: but Emma☠️?

Senju: yours left too girl

Emma: well i know that, so i'd be sad if someone made a joke about it

Emma: and so did yours🤨?

Senju: death is different. your mom CHOSE to leave you

Senju: skill issue

Senju: was that too far? maybe

Draken: guys

Chifuyu: ok guys let's calm down

Emma: of course a person with a mother would say that 🙄

Chifuyu: ...sorry

Emma: just jokes Fuyu😚

Baji: don't apologize Chifuyu, not our fault we have mom's

Baji: suck it, losers

Mikey: i really didn't mean to start all this, my bad

Draken: it's not a big deal😐

Draken: and Shinichiro-san, happy birthday, but you're still a virgin?

Draken: i'm not judging or anything. i just find it impressive

Draken: all the other stuff is overrated

Emma: 🤨

Emma: we'll talk about that later

Emma: are you actively practising abstinence?

Emma: i couldn't

Emma: not with Ken-chan around, at least😋

Draken: dude

Draken: your entire family is here

Emma: don't call me dude☹️

Draken: okay

Draken: babe

Draken: your entire family is here

Emma: so?? they know we have sex

Emma: how else would we try to have a kid?

Draken: bro...

Mikey: KEN-CHIN KILL YOURSELF☹️👎

Izana: Emma was underage when you got together

Izana: something to think about, Draken

Draken: i was too???

Takeomi: who the hell are you

Draken: me?

Takeomi: obviously not you

Takeomi: "Izana"

Takeomi: who is that

Shinichiro: this is Izana, Omi

Takeomi: i fucking know that Shinichiro

Takeomi: why are you all so stupid

Baji: why are you brining your sour mood here

Baji: go die

Baji: no offense

Mitsuya: you can't keep saying bad things then saying no offense

Mitsuya: it literally doesn't mean anything

Shinichiro: i said i had another little brother remember?

Shinichiro: before Emma was a Sano, she was a Kurokawa. this is Izana Kurokawa

Takeomi: your dad was a man whore. respect

Shinichiro: dude, ew?

Izana: technically i'm no ones sibling because my mom lied to your guys' dad about being my father so i'm actually not related to any of you. not really supposed to be here

Mikey: dude give that up. we don't care 🙏

Izana: i was just clarifying

Emma: Izana-nii you know it makes Shin sad when you say that☹️

Izana: i was stating facts, but alright

Haruchiyo: happy birthday Shinichiro

Baji: you never speak on this group but oh, let the topic be about Mikey

Baji: all of the sudden it's a yappathon

Baji: "i wish Mikey would stick it in!"

Haruchiyo: I'VE NEVER SAID THAT

Haruchiyo: and i'm speaking now, aren't i😐

Mikey: Baji leave Haruchiyo alone

Mikey: you're the one always scaring him away😔👎

Mikey: hi Haru😋

Haruchiyo: hi Mikey 🙂

Kazutora: happy birthday Shinichiro-san

Kazutora: um, sorry about... the incident

Mikey: (i told you not to talk about that in front of people, Tora💀)

Draken: PUTTING A SENTENCE IN BRACKETS DOESN'T MEAN YOU'RE WHISPERING

Draken: STOP DOING THIS

Senju: what incident

Kazutora: uh

Kazutora: almost killing him

Shinichiro: buddy, i know you didn't mean to do that. it's all good

Kazutora: no, i fully intended to kill a person

Kazutora: it just wasn't meant to be you

Kazutora: and for that i apologize

Shinichiro: oh...

Shinichiro: well at least you don't have those murderous thoughts anymore, right? let's dwell on the positive 😁

Kazutora: i do have those thoughts

Baji: you don't always have to tell the truth man

Mikey: dude☠️

Kazutora: but they're about my father, mostly

Kazutora: i look exactly like him, so looking in the mirror is hard sometimes

Kazutora: i'm not allowed to kill myself, but killing him would be close enough

Kazutora: but i can't. because of the law

Draken: dude, are you okay? do we need to talk again

Draken: this is concerning

Kazutora: words cannot help me, Draken

Kazutora: anyway, have a good birthday, Shinichiro-san

Kazutora: i'm glad you didn't die by my hands

Shinichiro: ...

Shinichiro: i'm not really sure what to say

Senju: i love his thought process

Senju: (what the hell is wrong with this guy)

Draken: we can see the text inside the brackets 😐

Senju: fine

Senju: what the hell is wrong with this guy😭

Senju: you were the one who put Shin in a coma??

Senju: the power or friendship really carries this group's dynamic because if it were me, Kazutora would never see the light of day😭🙏

Senju: it helps that you're handsome

Kazutora: thank you. i'm sorry

Senju: you're welcome. you are forgiven

Baji: maybe let's change the topic

Senju: what's wrong with him?

Senju: no offense

Emma: his father used to beat him

Senju: Emma!

Senju: you can't be telling people this 😭

Emma: STOP ASKING ME THEN

Emma: there's no malice!! i'm just telling you what happened!!

Inupi: happy birthday Shinichiro

Inupi: my sister has agreed to go on a date with you

Inupi: i see you as a really good guy so if you fuck this up, i'd have to kill you

Shinichiro: AKANE-SAN?

Shinichiro: she's too pretty for me

Shinichiro: ok um, please give me her number, Seishu

Shinichiro: thank you

Shinichiro: let's speak privately yeah?

Mikey: Inupi, this is the first time in your life you've ever been useful

Mikey: i'm impressed

Inupi: kill yourself

Mikey: Koko doesn't love you back👎🔥💔

Inupi: Takemitchy is married to a woman

Draken: break it up

Draken: and Koko does love him back, he's just fighting heteronormativity and internalized homophobia

Emma: ?

Draken: i'll tell you about it later

Emma: 🤗

Inupi: you will not

Koko: i am in this group, you know?

Koko: happy birthday Shinichiro

Koko: also Inupi, aren't we dating?

Inupi: huh

Koko: are we not dating?

Inupi: i mean, i wasn't aware of it

Inupi: but okay

Inupi: you didn't ask me

Koko: well, we act like we're dating so i thought we were

Inupi: okay

Draken: Koko you can do better than that

Draken: this is a terrible confession

Draken: i did not sit through hours of Inupi's yearning for this

Draken: do better

Koko: okay...

Koko: meet me at my place?

Inupi: ...

Inupi: okay

Draken: 👍

Izana: can't anyone solve their private matters, PRIVATELY?

Mikey: dammit

Draken: what?

Mikey: i don't like when he's happy

Mikey: i need to ruin this for him somehow

Izana: Inupi fucking sucks

Mikey: he's the worst

Mikey: i regret changing the timeline for his sake

Mikey: should've left him to burn

Baji: what?

Mikey: nothing

Baji: this was about everything, except Shinichiro's birthday ☠️

Shinichiro: to be honest? i couldn't ask for more

Shinichiro: my family being happy is the best present i could ask for

Shinichiro: i really love you guys

Izana: thanks

Mikey: BOOOOOOOOO

Mikey: too sappy, i'm out

Baji: that was so corny😂

Baji: (we love you too)

Emma: Shini-nii😭❤

Senju: Takeomi, take notes

Senju: i still don't get how you guys are friends considering the personality difference

Senju: Shin is so kind and lovable and amazing and sweet (and hot lwky)

Emma: ew😐

Senju: you um, you smoke, and you um

Senju: yeah i got nothing

Senju: still love you though!

Haruchiyo: he's ugly and abusive

Takeomi: says the dick sucker

Takeomi: i'm abusive because of the way you are by the way

Takeomi: besides, i've regrettably, never lay a hand on you

Baji: here we go again

Haruchiyo: in another life, i've killed you with my bare hands

Takeomi: do you seriously think you could beat me in a fight

Haruchiyo: i'll die trying

Shinichiro: okay guys um let's please not

Shinichiro: Omi stop being a dick 😅

Shinichiro: Haru, sorry for Omi being a dick

Senju: ☹️

Senju: we love you too, Shin

Draken: uhm i don't know if it's appropriate for me to say? but i love you too Shinichiro, i guess

Draken: this is a little awkward now

Kazutora: should i say it?

Baji: no, Tora

Kazutora: ok

[bokunoheros]

ཐིཋྀ KINKTOBER - day 12 squirting : shouta aizawa/eraserhead

warnings : afab reader, reader and aizawa are married, y’all have a cat, pussy slapping (pun probably intended), this is doo-doo dog shit, like this actually sucks, doo doo fart ass, dookie, poo poo fart, smegma, this fic reads like what sharting yourself feels like, this fic smells like the family bathroom at walmart, we’re fucking twelve (not literally), don’t expect anything else genuinely, butt, pretend this was never posted, PLEASE, day 12 is NOT REAL, THEY HIT THE PENTAGON— MR PRESIDENT GET DOW— bill gates did it, bill cypher is canon, squirting, fingering idk, eating ass, butthole rimming, 2024 election, ellen digestive did 9/11, Trump x Biden, 9/11, hilary emails included, proof of aliens existence, video footage of the area 51 raid, UFOs, alien butt sex, wrong usage of condoms, anal probing, biological dna harboring, sickle cell anemia, KLANCE is canon, Steven universe, major character death, gem fusions, love children, feel like cinderella naega byeonhae, NETFLIX ORIGIONAL, only on Hulu, Elsa x Jackfrost smut, playdough, me x YOU, tiana x nanami au, your mom x me, sarcamouche x kazuha, xiao x venti, improper use of crack cocaine, making herion, mentions of drug mules, dead dove: do eat, improper use of magic, meth making, cocaine balloons bursting, Harry Potter x Snape, hermoine x the whomping willow, herobrine x steve, unfortunate uses of pixels, bakudeku slime, hnnng harder daddy, mmhppgh— yeah yeah right there, cum consumption, cumflation, feeder fetish, oh yeah, koolaid man x me, very improper use of koolaid packets, nickacaco avocado weight loss journey, apology videos (tears included), , banjos, jake paul dcead body in forest footage (NOT CLICKBAIT), live leak posts, webtoon origional, anal stretching, did you know the human anus can stretch to the size of a raccoon?, now you know that, and also, the sun will explode June 17th, 3028, character flaws, bodily anatomy, your balls will explode on october 21st at 7:99am, my gleeby deeby ass, futurama, Micheal Angelo, improper use of abortions, medical surgery on a grape, plastic surgery, baby killing, tampon usage, description of endangered animal poaching, Mario Kart, tuberculosis, ima get it donnnne oh aye oh aye oh, butt stuff, dazai x chuuya, atsushi x akutagawa, mpreg, mad cow disease, omegaverse, ranpo x me, Dream SMP, matpat x scott cowthan, michael afton x freddy fazbear, aggressive typing, bath salts, bath salt inhalation, whippets, galaxy gas, all might is a bottom, skinny men, carrington x shigaraki, anorexia anorexia anorexia, afo x nana shimura, BLOODY MARY, BLOODY MARY, BLOODY MARY, TW gun law debates, tenko x mon, Amazon delivery, school shootings, talk of gun laws, bad dragon toys, silicon, aoyama belly button leaking, lego ninjago r34, ninja turtles r34, bloody mary r34, kamala harris r34, tenya iida x tensei iida, jesus x judas, luigi x bowser, sonic and shadow makeout sesh, i fuck your dad, suck his dick reallll nice, penis sounding with dirty twig, orgasm denial, overstimulation, xenotransplants, oviposition, diaper Taco Bell, people die, revival, dark magic, ecoterrorism, global warming, chemical warfare, wanda x the winter soldier, haruhi x tamaki suoh, cosmo x wanda, comicon, bronies, pegasisters, mentions of twilight sparkle dying, twiilight sparkle x mordecai, air planes, shootings stars, night skies, NLE Choppa, we could really use a wish bro, TuPac is back, floppa carts: plompy haze, death of a platform known as tumblr, twitter referred to as X, elon musk creates sex robot that specializes in butthole sex, Tesla sex robot, androids that FUCK, necrophilia, android phone usage, pheromones, premonitions and words of Jesus, divine intution, potion making, heavenly visions, satan, satanic visions, the heavenly principles, celestia is above mondstadt, spiritual healing, veganism, white washing, canon hispanic hanta sero, futanari, blasian mina ashido, bovine spongiforms, Tenya Iida virginity loss, bakugo is a fucking faggot, handjobs, footjobs, peaceful protests, the government is controlling you through vaccines, asian fishing,

vaccines might cause autism, freshwater fishing, they will, xenophobia, hentai hucows, incest, usage of slurs, starbucks coffee, lizards run the world, obama might be a lizard, inappropriate use of baby oil, gojo x getou, day twelve never existed and it was all a lie.

word count : 420k words and 69 pages

🐙 note : we are not locked in we are as loose as a ran through sorority president

🦊 note : i am. i have no words. idek what happened. we ran out of time so we went with the option we thought might make people giggle (no we didnt we did this bullshit for ourselves)(your regularly scheduled content will resume tmr!)

🪲 note : i ain’t fucking sorry

you adored your husband—shouta aizawa—so much so, that you were his dedicated housewife. he made plenty of money as a pro hero and… enough… as a teacher, so that left you to take care of the house and your shared cat. though when he did come home he was way different than he was at work, usually at work he was all nonchalant and cold but at home he was sweet and caring, sometimes even a bit rough. his students would definitely describe him as laid back and uninterested, yet when you were around they were in awe of his personality shift.

[winwintea]

dreamies as your disney world boyfriend

pairing ▸ boyfriend!dreamies x reader author's note ▸ i am working on the SERIES I PROMISE GUYS... it's just quite long... oops. i needed to channel my inner disney for inspiration for this sorry. the prompt seemed to make more sense in my head so i guess it's just, 'dreamies at disney' now lol. ALSO SOME DISNEY TERMINOLOGY in there i apologize. should make sense but if it's confusing ask me lmfaooo

mark lee

photographer boyfriend obviously 

doesn’t even complain about how many photos you want to take

is actually dying inside but hides it away with dad jokes to cope with the pain

“it’s not even noon yet and dis-knees are killing me bro” 

will only complain about the heat 

“It’s like we’re on the surface on the sun dude… like satan’s armpit. that’s crazzzzyy.”

you couldn’t help but laugh

but then he just KEPT GOING

“it’s like we’re in the inside of a mouth… there are things sticking to things that-” 

and you cut him off right there.

can’t help the fact that bro is a D1 yapper.

will not wear mickey ears though no matter how much you beg him to :(  

favorite ride: slinky dog dash

least favorite ride: dumbo

huang renjun

the boyfriend that actually disney bounds with you

so y’all are disney bounding as nick wilde and judy hopps from zootopia (renjun’s idea)

chenle took him to shanghai disney once, so he’s a big fan of duffy and friends

oh how disappointed he was when he realized that the mascots don’t exist in WDW

“preferred parking? i would prefer parking to be free, thank you very much.” 

mood is very sour upon entering

“i know you’re cold but i did tell you to bring a jacket.” rude.

however once you two start collecting your first character signature he’s locked in

somehow more excited to meet the characters than the kids are? (ur 24. reality check!)

he gets more into it as the day goes on

YOU BET HE’S WEARING THE MICKEY EARS. 

although he already had fox ears on to begin with anyways

favorite ride: mickey & minnie’s runaway railway

least favorite ride: seven dwarfs mine train (it was too short)

lee jeno

foodie boyfriend 

wants a turkey leg like really badly 

“that guy has a turkey leg… sir- um sir- where did you get that turkey leg”

you have to bribe this man with food.

which honestly is okay by you because you just wanna take photos of the food.

"yknow with this ride being 50 years old, you'd think they could've made the boats a little bigger. have to man spread now" 

whatever you’re thinking of, that’s literally not what he meant. 

he’s an innocent lil guy. (seriously, it just came out wrong.)

holds ur hand on all rides. 

let’s you grab onto his muscles arms while you are nervous on the thrill rides

no mickey ears though. (it’s the bow that always throws them off)

favorite ride: rise of the resistance 

least favorite ride: teacups

lee haechan

out of pocket boyfriend who will not stfu

“bambi’s the only movie i really couldn’t watch… i could not be as strong as bambi” 

after you give him the, “wtf” look he just continues. on.

“cause if my mom died well… there goes my friend group.”

will randomly start singing disney songs in the middle of waiting for a ride. 

in those show/ride/attractions he’s the only one clapping and screaming. 

especially true for the beauty and the beast sing-a-long attraction, cause yknow he’s gonna scream his lungs out.

yeah he’ll wear mickey ears, but you bought him a goofy hat instead. It was more fitting.

“can’t believe disney made a character after me… should i sue?”

also complains a lot. way too much.

“EPCOT? more like every person comes out tired.”

favorite ride: pirates of the caribbean (he kept making a booty joke over and over again)

least favorite ride: toy story midway mania (bc he lost)

na jaemin

hardcore boyfriend photographer (pt 2) + ‘mom’ boyfriend

man knows all your best angles and where to take photos

“picture, picture over here… yes yes right… in front of the castle angel. oh that’s so pretty… in… in… down… up… okay! smile!”

you two spend like half the day taking photos, jaemin needs to show off his gf ofc.

cares for you the whole entire day, makes sure you drink enough water

aggressively refills your waterbottles every second he gets. 

“when it doubt, chug it out! (cue jaemin chugging his own bottle)

he unfortunately will not wear mickey ears. (jaemin i believed in you.)

he’s not the one being taken photos of, so no mickey ears for him.

“princess i don’t wanna hear it. the humidity is good for you. this is like nature’s pore declogging.”

favorite ride: frozen ever after

least favorite ride: none (bc he did everything with u <3)

zhong chenle

in between buying you everything and calling everything too expensive boyfriend

HOW THE FUCK DID HE GET A MEMBERSHIP WITH CLUB 33.

this man pulls you into that sus green building on main street, and your jaw drops.

club 33, is an exclusive, membership only restaurant at disney. it’s like an elite society filled with rich upper class, but at disney. (never been inside not sure how to describe it but oh boy is membership expensive.) the waitlist got so long in 2007, they closed it for 5 years. look it up on wikipedia disney lore goes hard

“i just asked a couple of friends, and they recommended me this place.” boy.

you’re panicking because you’re severely underdressed. (you’re in a jessie costume.)

he reassures you, since you’re at disney, and being dressed like this is normal.

once u have one of the most expensive meals of ur life, chenle drags u to every single thrill ride.

he also buys you a balloon and a bubble wand <3

but for some reason when you arrive at the gift shop he realizes he’s spent a lot.

“okay enough gift shop. look away from the gift shop. this vacation already has us in poverty.”

AND BRO ACTS LIKE THIS THE WHOLE TRIP IM NOT KIDDING.

he’ll buy you a nice meal at one of the restaurants and then…

“we’re not getting churros they’re 5 dollars.”

no mickey ears either why do you even ask

“next time i’ll take u to shanghai, it’s better okay?”

favorite ride: tower of terror

least favorite ride: it’s a small world after all

park jisung

anti-disney everything boyfriend

gets frustrated at everything. cannot read the map.

when he goes on small world…

he severely questions his mental sanity. like actually guys i think he needs help.

“this ride is for kids.” 

the ride in question: the barnstormer! a 40 second kiddie roller coaster that has top speeds of up to 25mph!

literally jisung’s 13 reason. 

he was screaming his little heart out poor baby.

“I’m not wearing those. Stop.” you do not stop. “Take these off of me right now.”

he wears the ears for half of the day though so a win is a win.

“we’re going to the other park? we’re not going home? there’s 3 more??????”

favorite ride: none

least favorite ride: all

[milesmolasses]

I'm gonna kill you

miles morales x reader

if you don’t know what “throwing franks” means it basically means telling someone to “suck my dick” lmao

which reminds me the setting is nyc (bk)

is this what ppl call crack? idk man

"miles I'm not playin with you right now, put my water bottle down I'm thirsty!"

miles walked around the dingy restaurant, my bottle in his hand, which was waved high in the air. "you gon have to come and get it than miss smart mouth! you keep playin with me like I can't beat you up," he joked.

miles has been my best friend ever since the middle of third grade when he switched his elementary school. i remember when he was this tiny, shy kid who sat at the back of the school basement for lunchtime since our school never had a formal lunchroom. all i wanted was to make a new friend, so i walked up to the shy new boy and ate my lunch with him. we would walk home together, play at the park together, and have cute lil playdates scheduled by our mothers; ah, yes, those were the times; up until now.

"bro, my bad, just give me my water bottle my mouth is on fire, no funny shit," i had my tongue out, breathing heavily. my mom owns this restaurant, where she cooks (insert culture) dishes for the world of Brooklyn to enjoy. this space doubled as our hang-out spot, considering i would stop by every day after school for free food. my mom had served me (insert dish) with extra spice; "try something new," they said. "it'll be delicious," they said. while yes, the food was good, the new added spices had me steaming at the ears, tongue out, huffing and puffing like a damn dog.

now you may be wondering, "who the hell told you to do this?" miles. it was always miles. he knows I don't usually stray from the usual dishes that i get every time we come here, but somehow he convinced me that trying something new would be good for me. so, i let him order on my behalf; this dude ordered me (insert cultural food)… with 3x the amount of hot sauce I usually get. leading us to now...

"'my bad' is not an apology, bozo, i need to hear you say what i want you to say," he said with the biggest smile on his face. all i did was throw a frank at him, and he chose to torment me, saying, "i was disrespectful." he wants a sorry? imma give him a damn sorry.

"ok ok I'm sorry, miles please just give me the bottle," this time, my eyebrows were furrowed and i made sure to put my acting skills to the test. miles gave me a worried look, scared that he actually went too far this time in his games. he gave me back the water bottle and came closer to me, examining my face to see if i was ok.

"yo, you good? I'm sorry i didn't know it was that deep. here you go drink this," he looked so sorry. he looked like he really regretted what he did to me, it almost made me feel bad for what i was about to say to him.

almost...

"yeah, it was that deep... deep in ya momma!" i watched as miles face slowly converted from looking worried to "what did this bitch just say to me?" i started to run out of the store as fast as i could, chugging the water down my throat with my mouth still on fire. miles was definitely faster than me, so i decided to hide somewhere, anywhere.

i turned the corner, body jerking forward so fast i almost fell face first into the concrete. i caught myself on my hands just in time as i kept my momentum and ran down the block. i looked behind me and he was literally right there in arms reach of me literally, reaching his arm out to grab me. i grabbed the door handle of an unknown store and stumbled into it.

there i could see several women and young girls look up from what ever they were doing to look at me. just as they were looking at me, miles ran in the store and came to an abrupt stop. great now even more people were staring; it was then i realized all the assortments of nail polish laid out neatly on different shelves. oh my god it was a nail salon. miles looked down at me with eyes wide open and a look on his face that screamed "oh hell nah." a lady from the front desk with a slim figure and a headwrap, came up to us and pulled us to the side.

"I'm sorry, you cant just run into this store and be rowdy. we have customers to attend to and they don't need disturbances." i looked up at miles to see him already responding to the lady with prayer hands, "I an so sorry about my friend here please forgive them, sometimes they're a bit hard to control. i think we'll be leaving now, once again, so sorry," he responded whilst dragging me by the shirt to leave the salon. once we were on the side walk again, i busted out laughing so hard, i had to hunch over and close my eyes to keep tears from falling out.

miles gave me the biggest side eye known to man as i laughed in the middle of the street, looking around for people possibly staring at us.

"i swear to god I'm gonna kill you when i get to your house."

this was fun to write lmao

I was really just writing anything that came to mind

I did this once after 7th grade in the summer with some friends so that’s what I based this on

[star-dust-shark]

pjo incorrect quotes as things me and people I know have said on crack

Jason: these grapes are funky

Leo: these grapes are fucky

Leo: *drops sandwich, cries*

-

Nico: I will never forget the fact that Piper and I where sitting together with headphones on and she looked up only to see me playing air guitar and head banging to whats my age again

-

Solangelo: *kith*

Will: *walking away with a dorky grin*

Will: *almost gets hit by car*

Will: *gets home and screams into pillow for twenty minutes, then picks up diary and writes like five pages about Nico, then texts him for like an hour and a half and afterwards draydreams about him*

Will: hmm I think I might like Nico

-

Leo: imagine having sex and someone moans like a hentai girl lol

Percy: *moans* KyAAaaaAAHHHhhhhhh

-

Reyna: bro apologized like Colleen Ballinger

Reyna: like fuck off I hope you die

Percy: tOxiC GosSiP tRaiN

Jason: not a groomer

Leo: *hair flip* just a loser

-

Piper: Im horny- I mean horngry- I mean- *cries*

-

Nico: mentally I am a fifty year old man

Will: yeah totally not obvious mister motley crue

-

Leo: jason

Leo: I have something to tell you

Jason: yeah?

Leo: Im gay

Jason: WHAT

Jason: NO WAY THATS CRAZY

-

Annabeth: my wrist hurts

Percy: emooooooooooo

Annabeth: I literally sprained it wtf

-

Hazel: no you cant commit mass genocide Nico

Nico: its pride month this is homophobic

-

Reyna: okay how about we play the quiet game

Reyna: whoever wins gets my two dollars

Reyna: three, two, one, ghost town

Frank:

Leo:

Percy:

Annabeth:

Jason:

Nico:

Leo: *face red, fists clenched, rocking back and forth*

Everyone: *concerned looks*

Leo: I cant- IM A BITCH IM A BOSS IM A BITCH AND A BOSS AND I SHINE LIKE GLOSS

-

Piper: your moms hot

Jason: lol what she ugly asf

-

Will: im concerned with your eating habits, Nico

Nico:

Will: its very serious Im kinda scared

Nico:

Nico: womp womp

-

Jason: would you suck my dick if-

Percy: yes

Jason:

Jason: if there was poison in it and I would die if you didnt

-

Leo: ive learnt something interesting

Leo: my arm skin one day may be cut off and turned into a penis

Leo: therefore...

Leo: *bumps arm into Jason*

Leo: JESUS JASON STOP TOUCHING MY PENIS

Jason: WHAT

-

*talking on tumblr*

Hazel: wyd

Frank: jus on tumblr and talking to you

Hazel: lol nerd imagine

-

Hazel: *bats eyelashes* what does gyat mean

Frank: uhh It means generous young amazing t-

Leo: GORL YA ASS THEEK

-

Rachel: Im so single

Will: skill issue? L ratio? no rizz? no game? no bitches?

-

Percy: I havent taken my meds

Annabeth: oh no good gods

Percy: so that means

Percy: I will either try to kill myself orrrrr

Percy: like violently fuck someone

Jason: I volunteer

Jason: I volunteer as tribute

-

Nico: hey girl *winks* r u a racoon

Nico: bc Im trash

Nico: *bursts into tears*

-

Annabeth: *walks into bathroom, sees spider*

Annabeth: *yelps* oh

Annabeth: hello mister spider

Annabeth: youre not so bad

Spider: *moves*

Annabeth: FUCK NAH PERCY WERE MOVING PACK YO BAGS

-

Jason: *hits knee* oh fuck- my knee-

Leo: okay

Jason: *scared* ur gonna fuck my knee????

-

Thalia: I am now a tree a tree I am a tree is me

-

Nico: im actually kinda insecure about my knees weirdly enough

Will: aww bb :(

Will: well I think you uh

Will: ...have beautiful knees???

-

Nico: *jokingly* I can read your mind

Will: oh no

Will: oh shit

Will: thats not good

Nico: it cant be that bad

Will:

Nico: are these thoughts about me, per chance?

Will: WHAAAAT NOOO *hangs up*

-

Leo: daddy hands, twig nerd bod

-

Leo: im confused why can girls call their friends girlfriends but whenever I call Jason my boytoy twink malewife manwhore someone gets pissed

-

Hazel: yeah, this guys really annoying me

Frank: ugh im gonna fist him

Hazel: ...

Frank: what

Frank: like beat him up?

Hazel:

-

Percy: my friend thinks youre cute

Annabeth: what? who?

Percy: me

Percy: Im the friend

Percy: I think ur cute

-

Nico: so weird when someone comforts you

Nico: like why

Nico: just lemme be a moody emo brooding sad angsty depressed boy for a bit

-

Piper:

Leo:

Piper:

Leo:

Piper:

Leo: *in toad voice* BItCH i SaiD wHaT i sAiD iD rAthEr bE FaMoUs InsTeAd iD LeT aLL Of ThAt GeT To MY heAd I DonT cArE ILL pAinT tHe ToWn ReD

-

Nico: *crafting with scissors*

Percy: *walks in*

Percy: what are you doing

Nico: ...crafting?

Percy: oh okay I thought you where cutting yourself

Nico:

Nico: IM MAKING A HELLO KITTY ART PIECE

-

Leo: *glares*

Frank: *glares back*

Frank and Leo: *glaring at eachother*

Leo: omg I just felt sparks

Frank: DUDE STFU WTF

-

*sees gay porn*

Will: thats it im homophobic

-

Nico: so I wrote this song

Nico: *adjusts mic, positions guitar*

Nico: *deep breath*

Nico: *strums single chord* my whole family died

Nico: thank you, thank you

-

Nico: just realized the only physical contact Ive had in like a whole month was Leo dabbing me up

-

Jason: straights ask why theres no straight pride month but like

Jason: isnt there a toyota month or smth

Jason: id say that works

[lizandbo]

okie doks, so i would like a hc where bokuto, kuroo, and maybe tsukishima react to seeing their volleyball player! girlfriend play for the first time

i love your blog btw :) it makes me happy <3

Volleyball player!reader x kuroo, bokuto and tsukishima

I’m so so glad that my writing makes you happy, plus this ask is like 100 years cuz time management is not a thing for me

Masterlist

Tsukishima

Before I say anything else HE WILL LAUGH WHEN YOU MESS UP

When you tell him that you play volleyball he might not believe you until he sees it with his very own eyes

He would believe you but ✨trust issues✨

If you ever invite him to one of your matches he just either gives a glare and says a monotone “ok” or grunt in response 

But most times he goes to your games without you knowing 

Tsukishima wants to see when do your best without the pressure of people yk watching you

Cuz honestly I feel that wholeheartedly 

But man when he does see you?

Bros gonna explode from being flustered 

He thinks that you honestly look really hot, but he never ever gonna say that

Not even when he’s being held by gunpoint, which honestly who would ask that question if you were being held by gunpoint?

Anygays 

He just appreciates your work ethic in volleyball

Not being too annoying and obnoxious about volleyball or not giving a fuck with his standards 

Nice balance 

and at some point you motivate him to push on his own hobbies (more so volleyball)

When you catch sight of him you whip your head around to get a double take almost getting whiplash in the process

He just covers his mouth and snickers by the confusion of your face just now realizing that he did attend your match after all

You shuffled up to him half bashful half excited to see tsuki

You wrapped your arms around his middle and he stared back to, giving you a little headpat 

“Sooo how did I do? Since you’ve been stalking me like a dimwit”

“You did better than last time ig, moron”

“You were here last time too??” 

“Now see your the dimwit here since you didn’t even realize I’m coming to your stupid games”

“Awww tsuki I thought would’ve never be here:(“

“Your an official dimwit” tsukishima says with a blush darkening 

Bokuto

He knew you played volleyball cuz he always has asked you how was your day? Every single fucking day

Even before you were dating

It might get a lil annoying sometimes but baby boy genuinely wants to hear about your day

Prolly at some point interrupts you by accident but once he realized he apologizes so damn much 

But a simple “it’s ok bo” is enough for him lmao

ANYWAYS 

IS SO PROUD OF YOU WHEN YOU PLAY

ALWAYS YELLS LETS GO Y/N OR HEY HEY HEYYYY THATS MY S/O

Vvvv proud baby 

Whatever position you play he’s so so so supportive 

“Y/n! That’s such a great set im so proud of you”

“I KNEW YOU COULD DO SO WELL BABY”

“HEY HEY HEY! That spike was so accurate, you should have a kiss as an award! Come her baby”

“BLOCK THEM BASTARDS! YEAHHH”

When the match/ practice is over he’ll quite literally jump and attack you with a bear hug smothering you to absolute death

You guys go to your car him carrying you bride style  and finding a withered mess of half dead rose petals in the passenger seat cuz bo was so focused on seeing you than bringing the damn bouquet of flowers he was gonna give you

“Well… maybe I’m just distracted by incredibly sexy and hot partn-“

“OKAY BOKUTO, LETS JUST GET IN THE DAMN CAR”

“Your also very cute when you stammer like that”

“Booooo”

Kuroo 

Also a vvv proud baby

Found out by having the volleyball match delayed and you coming home late

Quite literally did the mom “and where were you?” Thing on you

But he was concerned for his baby cuz you could’ve gotten kidnapped

You told him that you were at a game of yours and he was appalled 

“And you never thought that I would like to go?” Pouts like a little girl in a playful way

“Well I just never thought you wanted to go since your always so busy”

“Bullshit, I’d do anything for you” he practically manhandled you onto the bed and cuddled there

“Oh really? Anything??” Your eyes sparkled as he met your eyes with a small smile

“Yes baby, anything. Your my one and only”

“Ok so would you do the dishes for me? Oh oh and cook dinner too that would be absolutely fantastic”

Rooster wasn’t too happy with that response smh

SKJDJDJD I GET SO DISTRACTED ANYWAYS

rooster baby would go to any games when he has free time 

Analyzes your movements a lot 

But he’s never deeply judging you in a negative way, he’s just observing 

Becomes your personal trainer but would never push you too hard 

Always after matches no matter if you win or not he’ll always have some version of “you did well baby, now drink some water I’m not letting you be dehydrated”

Always gives you a meaningful hug too

Kisses are also a definite must

One on your forehead, nose and three on the lips

It’s like a secrete combination just between the two of you

Even tho it’s not even like a lock or some shit

It always amazing him how you do certain things when your focused into your game

Sometimes laughs at how cute you are

Just being a proud parent boyfriend is all you need

[pluto-00]

Miles!42 hc’s

w/black!fem!reader

a/n: they way I see ppl write him is so stereotypical..this is still miles we’re talking about! Js bc he got braids n a cooler atmosphere, bro is NOT running w a gang. Plus if my spanish is used wrong, pls tell me!! I wanna make sure this is perfect.

also…these hcs are so silly and cute <33 had alot of fun writing this tbh.

Miles!42 who acts so hard in-front of others and his friends but really he’s just as dorky and awkward. (Likes playing minecraft but keeps it on the down-low, cuz he gets embarrassed.)

Huge video game enthusiast, from mortal kombat to terraria you already know he’s on that. Ganke and him play terraria all the time.

Miles!42 who mentions you all the time which kinda pisses Ganke off.

Does certain things to impress his uncle, trying to seem cool and more like a man. But you of all people, know he’s just fronting.

Miles!42 who thinks he seems sooo nonchalant, but really he cares about you so much.

Gotta huge soft spot for you and his mama.

When he comes over to your place to hang out, he always has some type of tubbaware filled with Rio’s cooking. She refuses to send that boy over without some sort of pleasantries. Which causes your mom to ask when is miles coming over, just to have some of ríos cooking.

“When’s that lil boyfriend of yours coming over? His momma cook food real good.”

“First of all, it’s for me. Ms.Morales loves me.”

Miles!42 who is a huge sneakerhead and will talk shit if he sees you with dirty air forces.

“Yo, you kinda nasty for that.”

“Whatchu talking about?”

“Why are your forces so dirty? Didn’t I tell you I got some sneaker cleaner at my place.”

“Mmcht, man get out my face, these are old ass hell.”

Gets a side job just to buy some sneakers or those over-priced spray ground book-bags.

Always leaving his friends to hang with you.

“I’m taking my girl out today, so I can’t.”

“I cant hang, me and my girl chilling tommorrow.”

Miles!42 who runs over to your place when yall had an argument, with your favorite soda and bag of chips he got from the corner store. Apologizes a-lot, especially if he knew was in the wrong.

“M’sorry, alright? I was doing too much.”

“No shit..” You’d say before pulling him into a hug.

Acts out for his little friends, calling you “ma” in-front of them, knowing damn well his real mama at home don’t play like that.

This boy will turn into somebody’s mother in public!! Talking shi under his breath in spanish, especially when he see’s ppl acting a fool in public.

“¿Estas personas no tienen entrenamiento en el hogar?”

Very assuring when it comes to you, especially when you over think something.

“You’re doing fine, mi querída. Don’t let those bad thoughts get to you..”

Anytime he see’s you in a cute outfit, hes so quick to say

“You look beautiful, te adoro.”

When Miles had you over at his place for the first time, he introduced you to his mother right away. And then later to Uncle Aaron.

You were nervous of making a bad first impression, but she found you very respectful and a good fit for Miles. Which led to her and you becoming really close, every-time you go over to Miles place you always ask where Rio is.

“Ms. Morales! You’re future daughter-in-law is here!” Which causes miles to get embrassed and for Rio to laugh.

“Ms. Morales, miles is being mean to me,” She goes along with it, jokingly telling miles to stop bothering you.

“Ms. Morales, you gotta teach me how to make this..” Who excitedly writes down the recipe and shows you step by step on how to make it.

Uncle Aaron likes you being with miles because you bring him out of his shell. He believes Jeff wouldve enjoyed your company too.

Miles!42 who’s tender-headed. Thats it.

Don’t let nobody but himself braid his hair. Which was a shock to Uncle Aaron, when he found out Miles let you wash and braid his hair.

But you swear up and down he act’s like a baby when you braid his hair, you literally have to resort to your black momma instincts when his head moves the slightest or his hand reaches up to the area you were braiding.

“Move ya hand!”

“You tugging on my scalp, fym?”

“Not my fault you tender-headed.”

“Mmcht-“

“Don’t suck ya teeth at me-“

Misses his dad dearly, calls you up to talk to you, anything to keep his mind off of it for a while. Only to eventually open up further, while you comfort him.

Miles is a big momma’s boy. Considering Rio is the only parent he has left, he would do anything for her. She’s stressed? He’s telling her to relax for the day. It’s mothers day? He’s going all out, with a boquete of her favorite flowers and a gift that she’s been talking about for the longest but never has had the time or money to buy.

Watches anime religiously, gets into those heated anime debates like who would win Goku or One punch man? Which is one is mopping the floor Sukuna or Gojo?

[eternal-kosmo-ghoul]

AS MY TREAT I WANT THE MOST SILLY, GOOFY AAA HCS OF THE PAPA'S.

Like idk Copia used to have to wear earplugs because Terzo snores so loudly it's literally obnoxious or something like that.

“aww my middle finger likes you”

���︎ synopsis — this is pure bullshittery and crack in its finest form with the papas. they can be a little crazy at times

pairing: all papa emeritus’ x gn!reader (can be platonic or romantic)

theme: crack ✦ , fluff ✿ (if you squint)

a/n: this is a toast to my bestie for being an absolute chad. i was high making these, enjoy.

cw: terzo is a warning enough on his own. that’s it.

▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆

➵ papa primo

he’s the oldest so he constantly has to deal with the shit from his psychopathic brothers

like— primo is basically THE mom friend, except he’s the mom for moe, larry and curly over here

(moe, larry and curly being secondo, terzo and copia)

he constantly had to hold back secondo from beating the shit out of terzo because terzo made fun of him for being bald

“I’M GONNA RIP OFF YOUR WEAVE—“ “SECONDO NO—“

bro unironically listens to weezer

like full out busting down a just dance move to this music

you once caught him dancing to it, and he stood there frozen like the man emoji

he told you to never speak of it again and you just nodded, trying to plague your mind of that horrendous image

primo cannot cook for shit too btw

you were once out and asked him to make something before you got home to the ministry

the minute you walked in the door, the kitchen stove was on fire and all of primo’s ghouls were running around and screaming in infernal about the fire

meanwhile, primo stood there not knowing what to do, looking like the man emoji AGAIN

it’s basically his trademark at this point

“…. primo what the absolute fuck—“ “it wasn’t me i swear.”

while primo’s ghouls were still learning english, he once said “fuck you” to you in a very sarcastic way

but the ghouls thought it was how humans said “hello” in english

so they went around to the other siblings of sin, and sister imperator saying “fuck you” to them while leaving all those poor people offended and dumbfounded

you smacked the back of his head after that and forced him to apologize to his ghouls and to the siblings of sin (plus imperator of course)

and he gave the ghouls extra scritches too

primo also has the dad sneeze

like he can send another universe to the next tomorrow with his goofy ass sneeze

he once sneezed so loud he scared copia and caused him to bang his head on the wall

it was kinda funny tbh

anyways yeah note to self stay 10000 feet away from primo if he’s on the verge of sneezing

it’ll save your life

┅✦┅

➵ papa secondo

secondo has two moods

“oh my satan you’re all so stupid i literally hate you all” and “tee hee i’m a girly girl”

like ??? what’s this guy on???

this guy has the sass of a high school history teacher

like secondo’s being so deadass about whatever he’s saying but he’s always fucking saying it like—

“c’mon now, you literally have the style of a hairless roach 💅”

it confuses you a lot of the time, really

secondo has his moments where he’s sweet, but for the most part he’s pulling up the middle finger to everyone he sees

it’s a habit

someone could say hi to him in the nicest way possible and he’ll just grumble and flip them off

it’s not even that he’s trying to be mean, it’s a habit (a very bad habit)

you once got tired of it and smacked his hand, when he flipped you off. so it’s safe to say he no longer does it

at least to you

secondo is an absolute menace to his brothers

with primo he’s chill because he’s the eldest, but with the younger two he’s got no chill

definitely made copia cry at some point during his younger years

he later got his ass chewed out by you and primo, because no one makes copia cry

secondo’s literally so bossy it’s kinda funny

he’s always one flip flop away from smacking someone every time someone pisses him off

him and terzo are BEEFING all the time

and it’s over the stupidest shit too

“you’re stupid.” “well, you’re face is stupid” “you’re both stupid, end of the discussion.”

you once switched out all of his skull face paint for a pink barbie pallet

so secondo was walking around lookin’ like hello kitty emeritus and everyone was trying so hard not to laugh

even his ghouls were struggling too

“… secondo—“ “not. another. word.”

┅✦┅

➵ papa terzo

bro’s the fuckin’ definition of fruity

you thought secondo was girly pop?? wait ‘till you see terzo, he’s fucking extravagant

will literally show up in the grocery store lookin’ like a character ripped straight from criminal minds

like— he has to make a show EVERYWHERE he goes. he likes to stand out

terzo is also the type of man to wear skirts and dresses because he knows he’s hot shit and he devours every fit he puts together

he shows off that waist frfr

“… terzo what the fuck—“ “shut up you know i’m sexy and i’m going to show it.”

if you wear skirts or dresses he’ll definitely ask to borrow them

he definitely passed down his fruitiness to copia

and to his ghouls

he scams kids on adopt me and has a good laugh every time because he likes to see people get mad at him since he stole their hella expensive pet from them

primo told him to quit it because what kind of satanic pope scams poor little children on a roblox game?

as stylish as terzo is, he cannot do his hair and makeup to save his life

he’ll usually ask you to do it for him wherever he has to perform or do public events, which is why his face paint is simple compared to secondo and primo

it gives you two bonding time though and it’s cute

he once watched the pinkie pie smile hd video and was traumatized for a few days

like he straight up locked himself in his room and would not come out unless you convinced him to do so

during an after party after a concert ritual, he got so wasted and almost kissed omega

like you had to PRY this man off of the poor ghoul, while omega stood there unaffected (hehe tall buff demon boy)

terzo is the shortest emeritus and none of his brothers will let him live it down

ESPECIALLY copia, since he’s younger than him

terzo almost kicked him in the nuts because of that

but that definitely was a stab to his already massive ego

you reassured him that there’s nothing wrong with his height even though you found some of the jokes his brothers made funny

live laugh love terzo

┅✦┅

➵ papa copia

copia doesn’t know what he’s doing half of the time

like he’s just given a mic and he just wings a performance while the ghouls on stage are fucking around and going absolutely feral

out of all the papas, copia legitimately treats his ghouls like his own kids

he feels like he’s getting more grey hairs every time he has to stop swiss from fucking his own guitar, or sodo and phantom from fighting about cheese sticks

you sometimes help copia do ghoul-sitting and it’s just chaos. you’re literally their second parent

copia and you = parent duo for the era iv ghouls

he unironically owns a lot of funko pops

and he keeps the one of himself on a special pedestal in a glass case for safe keeping

though secondo almost once knocked over the case and he was three seconds away from smiting a bitch

you once were looking for copia because you wanted to ask him something and you found him in a ritual room

except the ritual was that he surrounded himself with a bunch of rat plushies and he was on his knees in front of a picture of a rat with a tiny crown

you were so confused, and he refuses to acknowledge what that was

“…. copia i—“ “you didn’t see anything.”

he fucking washes himself with dish soap and laundry detergent

this man is going around smelling like dawn dish soap and it’s so weird

it’s not that it even smells bad??? it just smells so interesting and strong you swear you’re in a fever dream

copia is an avid mitski fan

definitely cried his eyes out like a little bitch when he first listened to “the land is inhospitable and so are we” because he couldn’t get over how sad “my love mine all mine was”

radiates theater kid energy

but like— the kind of theater kid that is just passionate about theater and is very giddy when people ask about it

when he started his first meeting as papa he got so nervous that he straight up started the meeting with the word “mushroom”

like it’s so random ??? but it made the ghouls and you giggle so it somewhat worked out ??

copia is a little silly

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[iwanty0uu]

Hey guys change of plans. my mom just pissed me off and i wanna run away in my backyard and hide in my dad’s car trunk so imma take it out on yall rn.

Growing Pains

I loudly slammed the door, gasping as I came to my senses.. “shit..” I should know better than to slam a door in my Jamaican mother’s household.

Before she could even start cursing, you opened it wide and yelled, “MOMMY I APOLOGIZE I NEVER DID MEAN TO MAKE THE DOOR SLAM LIKE THAT”,

I mentally sanded my eardrums, preparing for the hurricane of curses and insults that would flood from her mouth, “OH SO YOU MOVE TO FOREIGN AND THINK YOU’RE ONE OF THEM AMERICANS HUH? I WILL SEND YOU BACK TO YOUR GRANNY, GIRL.”

Being the daughter of two immigrants was hard enough, and considering you were one yourself made it even more irritating. Your mom decided it would be a great idea to ship you off to the land of the free, alone at fifteen, and send you to live with your aunt in a literal plantation in the city..New York.

The amount of paper colored faces that crossed your path at the airport was enough to send you into a frenzy, so after begging for 3 years (mostly because you would go to the Columbia University this school year and she wanted to brag about you on whatsapp) mommy dearest decided to pack up, take your dad and little brother to New York until you finished college, and explore.

Your brother was only a year younger than you, and always complained about how you got to do more than him, even though the fact that his girlfriend could sleep over anytime he wanted (with the door closed) was enough to prove how subconsciously sexist your parents could be, but whatever, you’re eighteen, homesick, and doing your baby bro who you dearly missed a favor.

But times like these, when your words wouldn’t even go through one of your mom’s ears much less the both of them always made you regret begging. Your words probably deflated and fell to the floor like some cartoon animation the second they came out of your mouth.

But that was how useless they were, and you always felt angry about it.. but you were a big girl and you should be trusted more. You didn’t smoke in the house or barley at all, you hated alcohol, and was still a virgin..mostly! But she still argued, and as usual, it made the tears well in your eyes, and your father attempting to mediate the dispute, and your brother trying his hardest to comfort you, even though he knows that he will never fully understand.

But little did she know..those tears watered the seed of rebellion that grew roots in your stomach and around your torso, sucking and squeezing until there was nothing left but long, smooth dips. The roots twisted and wrapped around your pelvis, making them grow full and round like the mounds on your chest and the one behind you.

Your hair full and thick, sunlight hardly passing through the thick leaf-like coils, and the beauty on your face, as beautiful as a forbidden fruit, the forbidden fruit. The fruit that led to the destruction of mankind.

Her words played in my mind like a record on repeat, I could never hate her, but if she didn’t want to understand me, then why bother be everything she couldn’t be?….

᪥᪥᪥

I loved writing this maybe ill make a pt 2! tell me if ya want it fr this was not planned negl I was on the bus making this but I’ll see yall again tmr!! (yes this is gonna be an aot fic🙄)

~𝓁ℯ𝓁ℯ！

[amxrany]

!! CHAPTER 7 / DIASOMNIA ARC SPOILERS !!

Ok this is definitely my favorite part in the recent update now let's go to it (Part 3):

Idia wakes up in the Underworld with Phantom! Ortho who's now the third person who's claiming that he's his brother and Idia is so just damn confused like I feel you bro I'd go insane too 😭😭😭. That's when Phantom! Ortho gets weirded out by the idea of him going to RSA because he's like there's no way he's be there when he's in hell and has friends down there. That's when Idia gets hit with the flashback of Ortho's death 🙁

Phantom! Ortho tells Idia not to blame himself for what happened because they still have the dream to fulfill together and during that Idia remembers everything and we just get this sad moment altogether

But then Idia says that no matter what, he's going to save Ortho. But Phantom! Ortho says that there's no way for him to get out of hell AND THEN WE GET IDIA WITH RED HAIR MOMENT

Then Idia proceeds to imagine the best version of himself WHICH IS HIS FUCKING OVERBLOT VERSION?????

LIKE WE LITERALLY PROVE PHANTOM! ORTHO WRONG BY FIGHTING HIM AS AN OVERBLOT THAT'S SO INSANE

Idia defeats Ortho thus winning the fight which proves that he's the King of the Underworld, and then Idia does a lot of those villain laughs that he ends up coughing 😭😭😭 (why is Idia so damn funny in this update I can't). Idia uses his UM to escape and we get this last message from Phantom! Ortho that he wishes him luck and that the universe is waiting for him (STOP IT I DON'T WANNA BE SAD)

So the dreams do in fact loop cuz now we're back to the dream with RSA!Ortho where Idia tells him that he ain't believing him anymore and that his real brothers are the ones that attend NRC and the phantom 🥲🥲🥲

Ok but when Idia said "I'll decide MY happy ending" that shit rerally hit so hard

That's when Idia connects back to OG! Ortho and apologizes for hurting him but Ortho said it's fine because he went to space after the close call when battling Malleus, it's just a really wholesome moment

Until Ortho explains to Idia everything that went down and the fact that Mama Shroud had to go through his computer to make the Cerberus gear AND IDIA JUST PROCEEDS TO CRY BUT ORTHO TELLS HIM THAT THEIR MOM DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING. THEN IDIA IS NOW FUELED WITH REVENGE TO GET BACK AT MALLEUS CUZ HIS MOM WENT THROUGH HIS FOLDERS NAURRR

And that's where the update ends, apparently it's only 16 parts in all which is really short but we still got a lot of lore dumping. I might come up with some analysis/theories once I'm free but that's all I got for now guys!!!

Previous: Part 2

[nozunhinged]

I need to get this list off my chest so I can move on and it's so long that I'm gonna mark it with a spoiler line because holy fucking shit (in no particular order I ain't rewatching that ever again)

- THE FUXKING TIMESKIP

- the mislead that pohrjai is going to marry mhok

- the fact that they never talked but night and pohrjai still trying to play cupid

- day blocking mhok on everything

- and still them playing cupid

- mhok reapplying for his visa, knowing full well he will see day at their wedding and also knowing full well he wants to pursue him again

- how mhok snuck up on him to guide him, don't make him an amazing caretaker just to have him be predatory in the last fucking episode

- and day said NOTHING about it

- same in the bookstore fucking tell him it's you

- "are you dating anyone" followed by just touching him like that I— 🤢

- mohk literally BABYING him even though this man is running his own business now

- he spent the last TEN episodes being an excellent caretaker just to turn into a clingy overprotective fuckboy for the last 30 mins??? PLEASE

- days fucking smug face when mhok groveled at his feet I wanted to smack him

- mhok groveling like he fucking killed days entire family WHAT THE FUCK MAN

- mhok flirting like that spoiled fucker didn't shatter his heart into a million pieces and ignored him for three years

- and didn't even apologize or explain

- the second chances bullshit and apparently even his parents reconciling???? Bro

- the "second chance" pohrjai described was so fucking forced just for the narrative I almost puked

- also I was totally with day if I hear the word second chance one more time I'm gonna riot

- day being scared HES GONNA DO IT TO HIM AGAIN HE DIDNT DO ANYTHING TO YOU YOU LITTLE SPOILED BRAT

- his mom (I'm not gonna elaborate)

- the fucking SECOND eye donation

- and it worked

- day still not telling mhok he's handsome

and last but not least

"thank you for breaking up with me"

You know what?! I'm out

[peanuthamper80]

I translated Little Miss Perfect through 57 languages and then back to English. It is literally nothing like the original song. This may just be the funniest thing I’ve ever read:

character, culture and thought. Don’t forget to subscribe. Try to live in the moment. Among the students. I can't་���. Pavav province Pavav place name. If I think so, coffee… Two years later, the Bond Act was passed. I destroyed my family. I asked how that happened. Are you ready to take action? Both men and women wear long skirts. There is nothing to apologize for. Communication and presentation skills. Yes, love, love. No, you don’t need to get out of bed. current! , current! , current! , current! , seat? Love is a weird thing. Roy, Roy. This guy has it. I am fine There were people there forever. sems can is sems can. He chose me. No, it’s about money. We had a lovely evening. Her smile is beautiful. Time is going by in the blink of an eye. Yes, it happened today. I drank and drank. Elijah saved the winds. He came closer to me and I sat down. First of all, he didn’t say it. I know he did it himself. If I had a cup, I’d drink it. Check your Windows computer. That’s why I started. For example: protection. Protection No, it's not written. not at all་. not at all་. not at all་. not at all་. It's not like that. It's not like that. Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom. Saheli sisters, Nat, Cat, Cat, Cat, Cat, Cat, Cat, Dog, Wolf, Rabbit, Rabbit, Rabbit, Rabbit , dog , taste, taste, taste, taste, taste. , the , the , the , the , morning , dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, drive, go, go, go, go, step, go. go go. . evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་. evening་. evening་. evening་. evening་. evening་. evening་. evening་. skills་. bite་. skills་. skills་. skills་. skills་. skills་. Fast, fast, fast. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. evening་་. Cooning, Cooning, Cooning, Cooning, Cooning, Cooning. , north, east, southeast, no, no, no, no. Mothers, mothers, mothers. Mothers, mothers, mothers. Mothers, mothers, mothers. Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom. chu chu chu shes rab yum ma yum yum yum yum Yes, yes, here, here, here. Yes, yes, yes. Love is a lie. Yes, love, love. in་་. Not anymore. I do not know And that could be bad news. It’s hard to know for sure. I believe he was lying. You may not know where to start. Don't worry bro