#bro i am straight up yapping here

[impossibleheartflower]

Stained glass windows are made out of broken pieces of glass, technically they're glass pieces that were purposely cut to be that way but I always think that stained glass windows are even more beautiful when it's just broken glass that needs a little of repurposing. Y'know just taking a bunch of random broken glass with their own little story that just needs to not disappear but kinda just needs to be rearrange to be made into something gorgeous.

Stained glass windows by their nature find beauty in the broken, that's why I love them so much, when comparing people to stained glass windows the person typically has a lot of scars and their mental state kinda changes to try to adapt to scars but overall they are beautiful. They are perfect because of their flaws, because of scars, and because of their beautiful mind that had to change in order to survive, do you know why? It's because they are what makes them *them*. I want to know every part of them, the good the bad and the ugly, I want to get to know every scar, every bruise, I want to trace the map of scars and help them paint over the broken pieces but not to make it seem like the scars (both mental and physical) are not there but to make the pain just a little more bearable. I want to see how even after their mind falls apart that they still are able to put themselves back together because that kind of strength is amazing, resilience is amazing and I'll always admire it.

Scars are just a reminder of what we've been through. Scars might fade but they'll never go away and I don't like the fact that people had to go through that much pain in order to get those scars but the fact that they survived and decided to stay here in this is what I find beautiful. I like the little bit of lead that keeps the glass together because it's like when a person decides to heal and work on themselves, it's like say "hey! I'm still here regardless of the tragedies that has happened to me! All the broken pieces are still here but I've made them into something different, not good or bad but just different because I'm different" and I think that's remarkable.

The lead is what finalizes the transformation of just a pile of broken glass to a work of art and when comparing someone to stain glassed art the lead strips is them healing and chosing to not hurt anyone else the same way the have been hurt. Comparing someone to stained glass art is like saying "hey I might not know what's going on in your life or if your a good person or not but I would very much like to know because I think that your scars represent hope and strength, not destruction and pain, I just want to know you all of you"

You can help people with with broken bits and make them all pretty by helping them with the colors and whatnot but at the end of the day they have to put the lead strips to make the piece of art, when it comes down to it the other person has make the choice of forgiving or healing or whatever it is for them to change for the better because there is only so little that we can do. A part of making stained glass art is that it's a long (and expensive) process much like healing from trauma but in the end it's still breathtaking and peaceful

I mean when you look at a stained glass window don't you just have a sudden urge to admire it? To study every inch? Or at the very least just be able to see what the final product is? It's amazing and I love them

[killmeprettypleasee]

Bro tag your fics correctly!! Why'd you tag 'x Afab' whule you literally put he/him for the readers pronounce?? Dude are you dumb??? Men thinks that fem writers are tagging their fics wrong but look at the hell you just did! Afabs are clearly cis females and the reader is he/him, fix your work you dumb shit.

Uhmmm are you okay?? Cause like cis fems aren't just the only afabs💀💀

lemme get this straight, Afabs; are a term used for people assigned as females at birth, and ftms are afabs because clearly they are assigned female at birth.

And how am i the dumb shit when you are clearly yapping about nonsense? You dont have to search it up on Google because heres the search;

Think before yapping nonsense in my inbox next time.🤦

[gaoau]

i've been thinking a lot about Suo and i need it to stop, so i wanna analyse him a little bit and say things into the void. normally i like to psychoanalyse characters in fics but i've seen that side of the fandom and i do NOT wanna go there, so i'm saving myself by pulling the same thing i did with Nanao ig.

disclaimer: this isn't necessarily a theory about his backstory as much as it is what i personally wanna see happen. see, if i were writing him, i'd do very specific things that could go in various directions, but since i am not, unfortunately, writing him and he's not my character to fuck with, all i can do is yap. which, also, probably won't be very eloquent.

manga spoilers for literally the whole manga up to date btw.

i don't think we won't be getting a backstory on him, to be honest. with a character like him, yeah, the mystery is part of the charm, and having this much anticipation can suck ass if once the secret gets revealed, it doesn't stick the landing. but i doubt Nii Satoru doesn't have something planned for him. why would bro be leaving Suo's room illustration out of the fanbook if there wasn't something there to talk about? what is in his room to talk about? but that's not what this is about.

anyway i'm gonna be so fr Suo's built like a dog. he's clearly full of shit, and yknow, that's fine, good for him, but there are things that are so painfully obvious he's just straight up lying about. after his fight with Kanuma, which is deadass the first time we see him fight, he says he "doesn't usually get so emotional," which ?? shut the fuck up? that's not true.

i know a liar when i see one. we've seen him fight five times? six if i wanna be generous; in three of those he got crazy emotional (Kanuma, keel, and Endo), and just a tiny bit miffed with the gymnast guy idr his name fuck that freak. which, listen, to be fair, if someone touched a single hair on Nirei's head in front of me, real me too i'd kill a guy. but look me in the eye lil bro don't lie to me. real talk, though, he was more than ready to kill the keel dude, and was going to. he wanted to. he was shaking while Sakura held him back, don't play with me. he wasn't gonna stop just cause someone was interjecting.

bro was itching to kill, side-eyeing Sakura, spitting snark cause how's the hot-headed mf who jumps head-first into a brawl without a second thought staying more rational than him, the rational one? Sakura's talking to him the same way i talk to my dog after she tries to kill my cat. i'm ngl my dog has better self-restraint than this kid. he also just straight up xd's his way out of it? like "oh whoopsies! mb gang! i was just feeling silly goofy! 🤪" like he forgets he's not supposed to glare at people with murder in his eyes.

speaking of murder! this is where i want him to have killed someone before Bofurin. he's, like, 15? so there's not much time to work with, but the same way Kaji was going feral at idk 8 years old, i can see a world in which Suo actually went overboard when he was a younger kid. (i'm not saying this is what things are pointing at, but i want this to be the case. i would do this myself.)

he is emotional, i don't think that's up for debate. i understand why he gets so emotional and i do think it's very noble and cool and swag of him, that's a good person, somewhat, he cares about his friends and it pisses him off when they get hurt. i fuck with that. that's great, get him an ice cream (if he even eats fucking weirdo). but why are we acting like "i am chill ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ" when, clearly, that's not true?

here's where his teacher comes in. for how much grief i'm giving him, i don't think he's all lies at all. i don't think him liking Nirei and Sakura enough to not only speak highly of them, but also fuck a guy up for them, is a lie. i think he is as kind as Umemiya describes him to be, cause honestly, if Umemiya says someone is kind, then they probably are.

i don't think this is necessarily fake as much as i think it's borrowed. it's learned behaviour. it's teachings passed down to him by his teacher. it's discipline. it's not something that comes naturally to him, but it is something a person he respects and looks up to taught him, so he tries to live by it. he's very clearly been disciplined, probably got beaten into the ground by his teacher, got his ass handed to him again and again and again until he sharpened his reflexes and learned how to control himself in a fight.

he talks a lot about adulthood, talks a lot about maturing, talks a lot about self-control and whatnot. which, by the way, this is a child? lil bro you're fifteen go play on your switch idk. but i'd like to think this comes from someone telling him, "hey, what you did was not okay. you have a lot of strength and you're not an animal. use it wisely so you can one day grow into a proper adult." solely cause i want him to have killed someone. that's all i want.

i think it would make sense, really. how funny would it be if he was living similarly to Sakura? i've seen people headcanon him as a rich kid, but he lies a lot, and i wouldn't put it past him to be living in a sad, lonely one-room apartment. there's a billion ways things could be done with him. maybe his parents didn't care to try disciplining him, maybe he grew up with no parents at all. he has a short fuse, that's easy to tell, even if he acts like he's got everything under control. it's a very Suzuri type of situation, so maybe it's not the direction Nii Satoru is gonna take things, but one can dream.

as for the eyepatch, i haven't really thought much about it. the way i see things, he's gotta come from a neglectful background, so losing an eye would make sense. or maybe he did it himself, i'd love to see that (i would do that with a character like this if he was mine). if his eye is even missing at all, cause all things considered, it might be sort of just a way to give himself a handicap to remind himself not to go overboard.

which, circling back to the self-restraint thing, i like to think that's the reason he doesn't really use much excessive force. not to say he doesn't kick and punch, cause lil bro packs a mean punch, but he doesn't gravitate to hitting people. he's usually using his opponent's weight and momentum against them, which is why i was decently surprised when i saw him grab the keel dude and wind back to bash his face in. he's not violent, until he lets go of what little self-restraint he has, and then he is. it's values and principles that come from someone else telling him how to behave, except he still struggles to hold himself back.

to put it in simple terms, if he were my character, this is what i would do. i'd have him kill someone by going overboard as a kid, have him be taken in by this teacher, have him disciplined and clean his act up by beating his ass, and then have him parrot all these teachings at people he meets later. cause that's essentially what he's doing, he's just repeating things someone else told him. what does bro know about being an adult he doesn't even pay taxes go do your trig homework. but he tries, and you can tell he's trying, even if it doesn't come natural, he cares about his friends and he cares about becoming a better person, he's just a little too quick to snap.

you know what i mean? he cares about Nirei in particular, he loves Nirei, he tries to learn from Nirei. (guys i love Nirei i wont shut the fuck up). but fr, he's got that Nanao complex where he instigates things or sets things into motion and doesn't quite participate. he watches from the back, for better or for worse, but he doesn't necessarily involve himself in things. he keeps a distance. he feels like the other side to Sakura's coin sometimes, learning about people and how warm they actually are. he's all prim and proper and nonchalant, but he recognises he's no match for Sakura and maybe even Nirei. after all, it's always Nirei the one grabbing both of them by the arm and dragging them places.

he talks so big and maturely about not meddling too much with people who can't quite handle friendship yet, and then goes "!" when Nirei tells him "? fuck are you talking about? that's the more reason to teach Sakura about friendship." it's the look on his face after Nirei, despite Suo's long-winded and logical argument, goes to Kotoha and insists they help Sakura anyway. he's learning from Nirei too. also Nirei's crazy endearing so real me too but that's beside the point.

i don't think these parts of him are fake, but they might just be artificial. he's still integrating them into his own person and making them his, but he still slips here and there. he's not quite there yet. i hope he killed someone when he was 8yo. that's all thank you for reading thumbsup

[not-your-bro]

what i did and didn't (but mostly didn't) like about until dawn remake's character trait changes

hello friends and fans. i am super excited to welcome all my pals back to the latest episode of Laura Yaps About Until Dawn Remake. i've talked about the prologue here and here, and i plan on talking about other elements of the game (visuals, gameplay, narrative changes) whenever life and time allows.

before i go off about the character traits, thanks to @claarria for posting this handy side-by-side of old vs new. super helpful! i'll be using those images here.

and generally speaking, let it be known that i think the font change is so fucking ugly 💖 like god bless but it is so bad 💖💖 and they've made the layout so much less dynamic by just listing all the traits straight down, bullet point style?? it is all very microsoft powerpoint core and it sucks. anyway. onto the characters, in order of appearance.

sam

off topic but very importantly, how did they fuck up sam's face THAT bad?? ballistic moon sapped the life out of her and now there is literally nothing behind those eyes. HOMEGIRL WAKE UP 👏👏

one trait change here: adventurous -> brave. not wrong, but super redundant, because brave is one of the character stats in the menu, so like. at any point when i'm playing her, i can pop in the menu and see exactly how brave she is. it's pointless to put it here.

chris

one change: methodical -> loyal. and honestly. this one slays i can't lie. like yeahhhh 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

i know everyone loves to hate on chris now, but he pushes to help sam even when it puts himself at risk and he goes to the shed to get josh even though josh just traumatized the hell out of him lmao. boy is loyal asf and i'm more than happy to see it replace methodical.

jess

big changes here. i'm not jazzed to see confident go. i always thought smg included it purposefully, because this is how jess is trying to come across, even though she's actually insecure.

and imo trusting fits her far better than, say, driven. based on em's comment about her grades (and the fact that jess doesn't deny it lmao), i don't think she has much drive or ambition at this point in her life. she's always struck me as the kind of person who doesn't have a big dream or passion, and as high school graduation approaches she would feel sort of aimless? like she doesn't know where to go next.

i don't mean these as negatives, btw. jess is a top 3 ud character for me. i just don't think she's driven. and i think she is irreverent. and that's fine. 💖

emily

one change: persuasive -> forthright. like sam's change, this isn't wrong. emily is definitely forthright. but i don't like that we're shifting her further from mike (more on that later), and this change makes her use of words seem less purposeful. like she says what she wants just for the sake of it, instead of: she knows what to say to get people to do what she wants.

matt

matt's trait changes make for a much different impression. motivated and ambitious have been swapped with obliging and dependable, which shifts the focus from himself to others. we're drawing attention to an agreeable, go-with-the-flow personality, rather than the fact that he's got big dreams for himself (get that scholarship, bud).

i'm not sure i'm the biggest fan, because it kind of makes him seem like a doormat? it's possible that he never talks to emily about how she treats him, and he does film the prank on hannah even though he doesn't seem like he would. still...i guess i wish there was more of a mix here. he can be obliging and dependable, but he doesn't have to be, depending on your choices, and this really makes him feel like everything he does is for the sake of others.

mike

i appreciate ballistic moon pulling these shots back a little - some of them were really, like, up the character's nose lmfao. but bro those traits are unreadable against mike's skin 😭😭

anyway, mikey gets a complete overhaul. i've been over brave with sam. it's a waste of a slot. and it's not that mike isn't driven or charismatic. i mean, he is definitely charismatic, given his popularity in fandom. even i have this feeling of 'man, i should not be charmed by him' <- is definitely charmed by him. but i think we're losing a lot by separating him from emily, with whom he used to share 2 out of 3 traits (intelligent and persuasive). i always thought that said a lot about why they would be drawn to each other and start a relationship - but also why that relationship wouldn't last.

if i were to give mike any new trait, it'd probably be impulsive, which i think is a great fit for him. mike may be intelligent, but when it comes to decisions, he's a man of action - a doer, not a thinker. which is just as likely to lead to a bad outcome as it is a good one.

ashley

one change here (forthright -> sensitive), but god does it fucking suck. SENSITIVE?????? be fr. is ashley sensitive or is she traumatized nonstop for eight hours? she was upset when she was chained to a wall and thought she was going to die! when she thought her friend died! when she thought her other dead friend's ghost was trying to communicate with them! when she was put in a life-or-death trap a second time! that sure was sensitive of her!

if i could revert only one trait change, it would be this one. 0/10.

josh

must be said that josh's shot is much better in the remake. it could not have been worse, like i will never understand how anyone looked at that half-closed eye and open mouth and was like yeah that's a good first impression LMAO. so, cool with that.

tbh i also like josh's trait changes? this is another total overhaul, but honestly, at the risk of getting booed offstage, i'm happy with this. if i'm being real, complex was always a waste of a slot. like...yeah? i hope so? all of your characters should be complex to some degree. it feels like a weird shade to the other characters to point out one guy, specifically, as complex. so the rest of them are simple, then? 🤨 it's not that i would argue against josh being the most complex - i do think he is (though i realize my stance on that means little because i'm up this man's ass). it's just weird to draw attention to it.

as for the other traits, yeah, josh is thoughtful and loving. for sure. but i feel like these are sort of...level 2 traits. ykwim? and the new traits are level 1. if you hung out with josh in a casual way, in a group setting, remake traits would be more likely to spring to mind, to match that initial impression. i think you'd have to look more closely or spend more time to clock that he's thoughtful and loving, because outside of his sisters, i don't think he's particularly straightforward or overt in the way he conveys those things, and he wouldn't draw attention to them. maybe i'm leaning too hard on the version of him i've fleshed out in my mind, but josh is the kind of guy who would, like, remember one offhand comment matt made about liking a specific brand of beer. months later, at the next lodge trip, it's there in the fridge, and josh says nothing about it. but he remembered, and he got it. that's josh's brand of thoughtfulness. in my opinion.

none of these six traits are wrong, i just think the new ones are better 'first impression' traits for him.

[eyesmadeofpearls]

Since it's not 2020-21 anymore i feel there's one thing i have to say to you all (Prepare for a yap session, and please remember that just because something isn't canon doesn't mean you cant ship it! please, continue to ship as i don't think anyone has a problem with it! :) This is just for people who seriously believe that any of its going to be put into the show and have went as far as harassing horikoshi, so if you find yourself getting angry with my words, then you've probably got a guilty conscious)

The bakudeku shippers who harassed the author and put him under social pressure have completely ruined the series. 🤗

Saying that he "doesn't understand English so he can't be affected by what fans say 🥺" is extremely rude and sooo fucking annoying of you. Of course bro knows English, he kind of has to?? To further my point i think it's pretty well known that the people of Japan are very particular about how others perceive them, they definitely care more than Americans do, that's for sure. To add onto my point above, the social culture over there is extremely lawful and strict, so stepping out of the norm can be scary. Crossing that unspoken line has created problems for people in the past and it's why there's a huge mental health epidemic over there. If you can imagine a handful of people over there harming themselves and becoming shut ins because of that pressure from people in their country, then imagine being a huge artist and show maker in that situation. Except.. It's not just half of Japan who's got their eye on him anymore, it's half of America too now. That is more than 'just' pressure especially when you know how die hard fans can really be.

I firmly believe that in his case he opted not to make any ships canon because he didn't want to anger bakudeku shippers. All of his official art both out of his work career (drawing just for fun) and in his work career (the manga and show) have been set up to ship uraraka and izuku. People seem to have forgotten that although a majority of the show watchers from America are teen girls like me, this show is for teen boys living in Japan because it's shonen. In japan it's also more socially acceptable to be straight and that's why it took so long for gay marriage to be legalized. So no, i don't believe that the horikoshi would be making a boy love anime and manga about teenage heroes in training. Notice how the plot doesn't focus on who he's in love with but it's been very clear he has a crush on uraraka? Yeah, that's what Shonen is. It's more plot than inner life things. It's like dragon ball z. Yeah, goku's got a love interest but guys aren't worried about that. Still, it's cool to see he's got a girlfriend since that's what's inspiring to teen boys i guess. I also dislike fans treatment of "feminine" acting guys. Midoriya isn't feminine, you're just an American and so am i, but at least i know that the way they raise boys over there vs here is wildly different. Our boys are quite frankly super disrespectful, loud, and ignorant as teens. The boys over there have to be respectful, they have to follow the rules, they can't afford to be loud, and their main focus is on being an adult and getting a job. Though i guess their parents strictness no matter how hard they try doesn't stop them from being rowdy after school. It's nothing compared to how guys over here are rowdy though. Because guys over there don't sit in the back of your class making fake moaning noises or begin to flip tables and scream loudly. Think of Midoriya like spiderman, he's just easily flustered, kind, and respectful but not "feminine" or gay.

Also, telling fans they watched the show with their eyes closed just because we acknowledged midoriya wouldn't get with his bully and rival is crazy work.. "He apologized!!'' if a murderer apologized, would you forgive them?? Yeah, he apologized and changed, but that doesn't mean its all okay now. Bro literally told him to jump off a roof, burned the notebook he values the most, and then proceeded to throw it in the water causing all of his time and effort to be practically useless. Not to mention he beat him to the point of real injuries and continued to be a right dick even after "apologizing". (An apology means nothing if you don't actually try to change and be a better person.) And no, insulting someone on purpose isn't romance worthy material. Unless you specify you're joking then you have brain damage for thinking anyone in their right mind would date someone who constantly calls them a nutsack face, an idiot, a dumbass, a loser, pathetic, a nerd, and genuinely believes that you should be below them in every way unless they've got a twisted degrading kink. And also, sacrificing himself for Midoriya is just plot. Everyone at one point has sacrificed themselves for him because he's the main character, the entire point of them trying to fight for him before he does anything is to weaken the enemies so that Midoriya can go in and finish them off after they beat the villains to near death. They all work towards protecting his future and upping his chances to defeat their common enemy and the man who raised villain motivation by creating more of them. (AFO) So yeah, no, it's not romantical at all that Bakugo wants to be heroic and give the only person who can defeat AFO a fighting chance. Midoriya has gotten hurt trying to protect everyone, uraraka included. But now that you know this would you say to my face that he's got feelings for her too? Or all of his friends? No, you wouldn't. Because that's just what a hero does.

Him and uraraka were meant to be a slow build up, people keep saying "well he always blushes!" yeah, but never at other men. It's been only women who can make his face entirely red like that. In japan, anime uses blush for multiple reasons, so you need to learn to read context on why they're blushing and the room.. Shock, a feeling of content, happiness, embarrassment, and romantical feelings can all contribute to blushing. If a guy were to put him in a headlock and bring him close to their chest, he wouldn't blush.. If a girl did it, his entire face would become pink. To clear up the blushing accusations, he blushed at tsu because she asked him to put her down since she was embarrassed, and he got embarrassed too because she didn't want to be held and felt bad for making her feel that way after realizing the implications of the way he held her. He blushed at hatsume because her literal chest was in his face, on top of him. That's called shock and embarrassment which is something you'd feel if a random pretty lady landed on you chest first. The other times with hatsume he never blushes again like he did and they return to speaking terms other than that one time she held his waist but that's for the same reasons as before. Uraraka however has managed to get him to blush with a full face without even doing anything. He called her cute, he said he liked her hair, her outfit, and he's always got to be standing next to her in every official art piece. Tell me when he's ever said anything like that about a man other than "he's so cool"?

Remember that in Japan love is a touchy subject, you're expected to focus on your future first so that you can have all that you need to settle down. A lot of people don't even say i love you until marriage over there, so it's not odd that Midoriya isn't as open about his feelings unlike uraraka. I think it's just common everywhere for guys to not be the first ones to say anything.. When i met a lot of my exes i was always the one to say i love you first and to initiate things, and i think that's just because it makes guys feel better knowing that they're being chased for some reason or it could hurt their social reputation with their friends who'd probably tease them about it. But anyways, when you pay attention to the way they act near each other, things tend to fall in place. Your actions will always speak louder than your words.

[amoransia]

Really late, but here's my ekuoto chapter 70 commentary. Nothing special, just me freaking out. You know. The usual.

Watch out for spoilers!

Dante got a very special dialogue balloon with "..." in it. Which is curious to me. I'm sure it means some sort of reflection or surprise happening within him; I really want to what he's thinking. How do you feel? Knowing that the that child you were entrusted can't even bear to be awake anymore? That he runs to escapism? Must suck. Anyway.

On the other hand, dearest Daniel is real composed. Good job on getting info out of Belphegor. That's not really a high bar, though lmao... I mean, how are you a demon and can't LIE? Embarrassing... Go back to demon high school or something. Fall from grace again! The whole premise of your existence is being a lying thing that leads people to sin, and you're here having communication issues??? Dude. That's so moe.

Everyone thinking Belph's got something up his sleeve is fucking hilarious. No. Sorry. He's not Kira or anything like that. It's not all according to his "keikaku". He's just kinda dumb and suffers from Villain Monologue Syndrome...

Him saying "my witch", though... ough! (takes critical hit)

Really funny how he showed him off sleeping and everything. Why are you bragging? Is this something to show off? I guess it is for you... I'd be embarrassed if all my coworkers suddenly saw me sleeping on a plasma 100" inch TV, though. Maybe have a little consideration! Also, I don't think anyone's mentioned this before, but I think it's a cool detail that Priest's in a fetal position. Not only does this position bring one comfort, but it can also represent how he's about to be "reborn" as a witch of Sloth. The sphere he's sleeping in can kinda be a uterus, right?

Belphegor and Mikhail replying to each other while Leah was suffering out of confusion was funny. She got the straight man role forced onto her. Miha's "I see!" was cute. Very casual, as if he wasn't talking to a Demon Lord lol. To be fair, Bel is not really intimidating.

Meanwhile, Vir is busy trying to lead his shounen manga team to victory... (or not really.) They'll definitely get some piece of Belphegor though. I wonder what it'll be... he doesn't have anything like Asmodeus' eyes sticking out, so this is a mystery to me.

Me when I get excited about an interest of mine and end up yapping too much

Dante and Vergilius are heading to the same place, so they'll meet up again... I'm looking forward to the mess that comes out of that 👀.

Imuri needs to step up her game, or I'll be taking matters into my own hands because this is ridiculous. Femme Fatale? Wtf are you talking about. Fraudmuri. The Demon Lord of Fraud. Her true title.

Her biggest crime so far is being more in love with the idea of being in love with Priest than actually caring for him. Does that make sense? So far, she hasn't done any effort in actually coming to know him. She needs to KNOW!!!! At least I can respect that she also takes male rivals seriously... and her aggressiveness towards them. Lole.

She doesn't call Priest "sleepyhead" in the JP raws. I don't really mind the addition, but I thought it was worth noting here anyway. Makes it cute.

"It'll be over soon" Naw bro Imuri is coming at you with a fucking sledgehammer. Watch out.

Tiny Imuri is so fawking cute. I've been craving these Imuri flashbacks for forever because we know virtually nothing about her. What moves her. Why does she long to love!! We'll know in due time, I guess. But please show me a bit of it, Aruma-sensei...

Asmodeus being considerate enough to make sexual things vague to Imuri is nice, but it confuses me a bit. Well. I shan't dwell on it, lest my head blows up.

Imuri seems to have some complex about being a demon with no demon power, because she keeps asserting that she is a demon? Am I explaining this properly? Like in this chapter (ch.70) and chapter 3.

Anywho.

Imuri imagining the BL route... save me... my fucking sides... I burst out laughing the first time my eyes laid on that panel. True to her succubus nature, she didn't even consider the possibility of them using blood or whatever else instead of straight-up KISSING. Those are still bodily fluids, right?? Calm down, girl! Stay put!!!

"I'm not letting his first kiss go to some guy that just appeared!!" HE'S BEEN THERE FOR A DECADE! YOU ARE THE NEWCOMER!!! IMURI, GIRL!! You absolute buffoon! Clown, even!

Whew. Lmao.

This arc also feels like a callback to that one "sleeping beauty" comment from chapter 3.

...except their roles have switched.

This time, Imuri will be the one kissing Father on the cheek to wake him up, and it'll be so, so cute. Trust. Trust me. This will happen. (Going insane).

Go and make him your witch, Imuri... Dew it... Make a move... (screaming and crying)

[zara-renata]

i just read “not my type” and i am so excited of their relationship progression.

(post-yapping insert: also, i would like to apologize for consistently using she/her pronouns when referring to your mc, even though the fic specifies the usage of gender-neutral ones. i genuinely am just so used to using she/her because of the mc i’ve made up in my head for fics and in-game. please let me know if you prefer i use they/them when rambling about your fics going forward!)

i couldn’t help but find mc’s friendship with xavier so sweet in this. (i emphasize friendship because i’m 100% a sylus x mc shipper ✋🧎‍♀️) i love how xavier really took time to hang out with her, especially considering how messy her mental and physical states have been as of late.

true to canon lore, i love how mc goes to the arcade frequently!! her competitive streak, even against children and teenagers, is so telling of how petty and childish she can be, which i really find funny and endearing. and i think it’s good for her to have an… outlet… for her feelings, even if it’s at the expense of unsuspecting younglings. she’s such a loser (affectionate) 😭

compared to the previous fics, i can really feel the distance between sylus and mc here, at least from mc’s pov. when realing sylus’s pov, it’s so easy to see how committed he is to her. but now in mc’s pov again with her self-deprecating tendencies, she truly doesn’t see the true intentions behind his actions. tbf, he seems to be taking a step back on the straightforward font with this one, waiting for her to ask questions first rather than dropping info straight up. and with how scattered mc’s mind usually is, that can be… not good. like:

“The person he’s describing sounds fascinating, and the perfect match for him. He'll never get bored with them, and maybe their goodness will rub off on him. Good for him. You had wanted to be friends with him, right?”

“If it’s heads, you’ll walk away from him and the life that allows him access to you. If it’s tails, you’ll ask him who these people were tonight and whether he has a partner. You’ll be his friend, no matter what, and close off that needy, delusional part of yourself that hopes for more from him, and you’ll never think of it again.”

these were so heartbreaking to read. i was just mentally berating sylus to do something!! he truly miscalculated a lot of things and is pushing away mc as a result. and i’m not even sure if he’s doing it on purpose or not 🧎‍♀️ like bro ya girl’s overthinker and dense tendencies are acting up – do something about it 🤦‍♀️ i know she’s a strong professional hunter but even i felt the “ambush” kind of feeling once she entered the room with the unfamiliar people. because sylus didn’t somewhat introduce to mc the unfamiliar people in the room, she ended up getting caught up with her thoughts and running her mouth.

“I’m pretty sure you have enough security for your needs tonight. Let’s just call everything off, okay? No one owes anyone anything, and you can offer that favor to someone else.” You look at the girl, but she’s not smiling anymore—rather, she’s looking at you with… confused disgust? Fuck it’s hard to read people. Maybe she’s suffering from intestinal gas. Maybe Sylus carries around lactase tablets for both the twins and his girlfriend.

like 😭😭 the secondhand embarrassment is real with this one. and the frustration with sylus not helping her navigate the social setting is even realer

that said, i am now more excited to see how sylus deals with the aftermath of these miscalculations. the grovelling, the hurt/comfort… i eat that shit uppppp LMAO. mc’s brain truly is a labyrinth though (this girl has 1,000 thoughts per minute) and i’m just cheering on sylus for trying to navigate through it LOL

Aah I'm really glad you like this instalment! thank you SO MUCH AGAIN for reading and sharing all of your thoughts!!!

so first thing's first, i do not mind at all that you or anyone else refers to mc as she/her. the mc i write is gender neutral specifically because i want people to be able to imagine mc however they want, whether its the female character from canon or a big beefy guy and everyone in between. so if mc for you, is your mc from your game, then you can talk about her all you want to me. i'm much more interested in what's going on in mc's head than what's on the outside. if i call this mc they/them it's only because i think of those pronouns as a placeholder that the reader can fill in however they'd like.

i'm really glad you're enjoying xav's interactions, i think he's such a sweet little freak and love that he's mc's partner and as a result is close enough to probably be one of mc's closest friends, insofar as this mc allows others to get close. it's really fun to make him appear and also frustrate sylus's agenda.

and for real, in this part mc is definitely trying to create distance with sylus out of panicky self-protection, because sylus is probably the closest mc has let someone get to them in years, and to just taste a little bit of what mc thought was rejection after wine night was really a wake-up call for them to hit the brakes. and sylus, bless his heart, he did not count on his motorcycle being stolen after he invited mc out (which is their first time being out in public since the auction! he's low-key vibrating with looking forward to it! he had everything planned to a T, he just made a super quick stop to pick up some massage oil with essential oils good for relaxation and insomnia because he's in his delulu hours hoping he can use it sooner rather than later, walks back outside and his motorcycle is gone. because his luck is shit! and now he's got to track down the idiot who thought it was a good idea to steal his ride!) so like, he had planned to meet mc when mc arrived, or stalk mc through the security cameras or something so he'd know when to go fetch them personally, but then got caught up in dealing wih the thief. So yeah, mc was not prepared for the social setting by Sylus, but to be fair! mc ALSO did not stop and ask questions before unleashing those pent up feelings all over sylus and the other poor bastards in the room. while all of us reading may have suffered from second hand embarrassment, sylus is secure enough to just be like yes this is my chosen one, i'm so glad we're in the same room again, everyone bask in this gift my beloved brought me!!

sooo yesss, sylus is learning bit by bit that his approach will require finesse, that he done fucked up big time with how he treated mc during their first few days together, and hopefully the hurt/comfort will be delicious. i'm going to try my best to get it right!!!

thank you again, as always!!

[kamiversee]

oooOOH okay - the way i forgot abt the songs BUT i'm gonna have to straight up make a playlist for these men (as if i don't do the same thing when i'm writing anywaysss)

incoming YAP SESH

so when you mentioned it in the last chapters, i immediately went back listened to 'sober' [childish gambino] BUT i forgot abt 'die for you' [the weeknd] sooooo he's a mini gojo analysis for that song for all my fellow gojo girlies (RAAA):

'i just can't say i don't love you / cause i love you'

this one is obvi lmao the way bro is like "hey btw i LOVE you" every chance he gets

'you hate that you want me'

bro literally says this almost verbatim when he's like "you shouldn't care abt me" but also "it's not a crime [to miss me] love" (ch45)

'i would die for you / i would lie for you ... i would kill for you'

REALLY seein the references to this one in chapter 45 lmao when he's like "i've done worse, for you" and he's said SOOO many times that he'd do anything for you and is explicitly like "the person i am around you now is not the person who fell in love with you"

so here's where i might be wayyy off base again but - what if the list started bc of something gojo tried to do for you, to show how much he cared about you? so like order of events:

years ago, gojo does something bad (ex: hurting someone, manipulating people in your life he views as "bad") in the name of helping you -> sukuna either catches him or he needs sukunas help -> sukuna uses this info to blackmail satoru

the deal for the blackmail is that you either have to complete this list that's made to hurt gojo so badly by punishing the woman he loves AND turns her against him (which is why gojo is so set on the fact that the reader can't have feelings for him, bc he's the one who's supposed to be punished by this whole thing) OR sukuna will kill gojo

which i know is like BIG but ! think about how gojo is always saying he'd do anything for the reader: he was ready to die for her; he had no intention of doing the list. when he walks in on her in ch1 he's like genuinely surprised that an opportunity like that "presented" itself to him, so he really wasn't planning to blackmail you ever

and when you finish the list, gojo is genuinely surprised and relieved that you finish it (ch45) !!!! he's also said that there was no time limit on it but that there actually was one, that it needed to be done by the end of the year i think??? somethin like that i don't remember but that always felt weird to me, so that's probs what sukuna's deadline for gojo was

--

anywhooo i also think sukuna put choso on the list bc he felt bad for hurting him (bc i'm refusing rn to think that choso lied abt the abuse which is the basis of my other theory but it bums me out so i'm just ignoring it lmao) and sukuna saw how obsessed w you gojo was and he was maybe like "hmm ok so this girl must be somethin special" and that's why he was making you hook up w choso !

yap sesh OVER (apologies this got so long and the way i was pulling out citations lmao) i will send more theories when i'm actually awake but i just read your response to my ask and HAD to do a song analysis! love you kami xoxoxoxo

-🩷

Okay this is yap session 1/2 that I’ve received & it’s not as long as the other so I’ll reply normally!!

To start, ty for this theory & semi-breakdown!! I rlly do love reading these ><

1. I LOVE how you broke down the song reference because every lyric from that damn song applies to Mr. Gojo in this fic🙏 Die For You applies more than you guys realize but it’ll make even more sense when we finally receive his backstory <3

2. You & ☃️anon have similar theories with how this whole thing started & it’s fun to see you guys on the right track & nearly hitting the nail on the head ^.^

The first theory about Gojo & Sukuna’s situation is… it’s a wonderful theory, I’ll say that. I will not say if it’s right or wrong but, since TFL is over, I think it’s safe to say you’re definitely on the right track :)

3. The Sukuna & Choso theory at the end is OH MY FUCKING GOD. I’m going to just burn my fic plans atp because I’m pretty sure you guys somehow have access to it 😄 /hj

Anyway, don’t consider that response as me confirming what you just said but DAMN you cooked & the kitchen might be on fire! :3

TO CONCLUDE, ty for the yap sesh, I love u & these sosoosooo much !!

[yumesei]

free gush pass!! gush about your husband! tell me all the things you love about him or maybe your favorite thing you do together!! id love to hear about you and your husband!!

-🐾

HIIIIIIIIIII PAWS ANON!! :3

I LOVE GUSHING BUT I ALSO CAN'T ORGANIZE MY IDEAS STRAIGHT WHEN I DO IT SO INCOHERENT YAPPING BELOW :D

So when I started league a few years ago I was mostly there for the hot women but somehow when I bought my first champs I bought : Irelia, Janna and.... Thresh

Hot women and green skeleton that catched my eyes

I didn't get into league's lore right away, but I liked to play with my best friend (now bf hihi) and gives funny fake lores to champ, especially Thresh, he was already my lil favorite 2 weeks in 😔

I've always been into villains, like imagining them loving you or simply being their fav makes me feel special and protected (though I never selfshipped with a vilain before because Thresh is like my first and only f/o, never actively selfshipped before) so when I read his more I was like *brain implosion*

Save me cunning n sadistic bastard save me

Then I read everything that I could find about him, watched every cinematics the blorbo had taken over my mind and and I was like "you're telling me he's a 2m tall wraith but he can also takes the form of a fucking dilf to pass with humans?????? I want him even more badly, you don't even know who you're talking to" a masochistic monsterfucker with daddy issues

AND LIKE HE'S SOOOO MANIPULATIVE, HE COULD BE SO SWEET (LIKE KINDA) DOING IT IF HE NEEDED TO, I AM DROOLING ON THE FLOOR. LIKE IN THE "A NIGHT AT THE INN CINEMATIC" THE WAY BORT SAW THRESH AS HIS SAVIOR FROM MALTREATMENT BUT AT THE END OF THE DAY, EVEN IF HE TOOK REVENGE BORT STILL ENDS UP IN THE LANTERN, THE OTHERS DOES TOO (N BEING TORTURED BY BORT THAT THEY MISTREATED IS EVEN CRUELER ON THEM) LIKE THRESH DIDN'T LOOSE ANYTHING (WHICH IS THE WHOLE SYMBOLISM OF THE COIN IN THAT CINEMATIC BUT THAT'S FOR ANOTHER DAY)

Then Ruination came out (aka the book where you learn his backstory when he was still human) and I just like it sm?? Like yeah he's such a pathetic bastard in it. He wasn't strong, he wasn't kind, he wasn't even cool when he was human. Literally a pathetic wet cat hissing in the rain. And I just love how he has always been a bitch, how Riot didn't try to give him a sympathetic backstory, he had always been a bastard (like yes he was kinda "bullied" by his order, but he was casted out because his personality was insufferable in the first place and because he was a peasant too me think. I think he could have turned way less worse if Helia's order weren't bitches but point is they just watered the seeds that were already there and that fuckass magic book did too) And I've got a whole thing about how his extreme sadism Has evolved with his condition.

AND LIKE HE'S REALLYYYY SMART TOO, HE WAS ALREADY ONE OF THE SMARTEST OF HIS ORDER BUT WHEN RUINATION CAME HE HAD A WHOLE MILLENIA TO CATCH UP ON THE KNOWLEDGE HIS ORDER HAD DENIED HIM (AND HE CALLED HIS LIBRARY "LIBRARY OF AGONY" HE'S SO CRINGE I LUV HIM 😭😭)

SO THE THING IS LIFE IS STRESSFUL SO I JUST WANNA BE HIS PET YKNOW?? IT'S SO CRINGE BUT I JUST WANNA LAY ON HIS LAPS AND NOT THINK, LIKE BRO IS SMART HE CAN TAKES ALL THE DECISION IDC IDC.

I WANT HIM TO WHISPERS MANIPULATIVE SWEET NOTHINGS IN MY EARS CUZ HE KNOWS IT'LL MAKE ME CAVE IN XHZIXBDIXBDJ

I WANT HIM TO HURT ME (KINDA LIKE TESTING HOW FAR MY DEVOTION GOES EXCEPT MY S/I IS A WHOLE MASOCHIST)

AND LIKE HE'D UNEXPECTEDLY CATCH FEELINGS AND WOULD BE LIKE : I obviously don't love her, I don't do love. She's my pet, she's only here for entertainment and I'll throw her into the lantern the moment she becomes boring. BUT HE DO LOVES ME AND IT SHOWS IN THE WAY HE WOULDN'T HURT ME IN A WAY THAT WOULD CAUSE PERMANENT HARM ANYMORE OR GESTURES THAT SEEMS GENUINELY SWEET THROUGH ALL THAT MANIPULATION SJDJSJSJ

I want all his forms at once cuz yknow different ways to show loves??? Big monster, actual human with repressed sadism and monster in human disguise, all into their same person, and not even in a like sexual way, just the way they'd all want her attention on him but they'd never outwardly say it (cuz she's the obsessed one not them duh,,, but still if she ever tried to leave it wouldn't go well). Overwhelming in a good way.

I'm so down bad sorry

[viaphni]

Yapping about Corrupted Colors EP3

(I am going to headcanon refer to Chaotic with plural pronouns because that is just Better for the Multiple Personalities (????????????) thing man......)

I have to admit, I did NOT expect the main villain (?), Chaotic, to show up so soon. I thought there was going to be more time for other stuff, but i guess bro just got straight to it. Especially with the fact that the infection has already made it to the Redstone Kingdom (even if it did recees into stone upon Chaotic's leaving). It seems like this stuff is gonna spread a lot faster than they can handle? Maybe worse than the Darkness. idk its hard to get worse than dark diamond

I also didn't expect Chao to be the way they are,,, at all

The shot of them walking forward in the trailer (and the lack of a Mouth) immediately gave me the impression of something ,,, really quiet? For some reason? Really quiet and dark and sinister, contrasting to the bright and messy colors. like for some reason i was really caught off guard when they started talking. I think it was probably the association with Origin they had in my head.

(just gonna slip these back in here,,,,,,,,)

But Chaotic DID turn out to be. chaotic

They seem to be several conflicting people/personalities/motives in one body (i think Cosmo said he was canonically bipolar). They even refer to themselves as "everybody" and "nobody," like right here, during some kind of power surge—

I am nobody and everybody. We are everyone.

"I am nobody" and "we are everyone" continue on with many of the conflicting things they said throughout the episode and fight

These lines in particular are really interesting because they show that ONE side is doing the infecting and the OTHER is doing everything they can to stop it. It asked the other to "spare them" at one point too. And the harmful side doesn't care, doesn't worry, only seems to want to spread the infection and make everyone join the "party—"

—which i found strange too. The side that does most of the hurting seems to be very enthusiastic and happy about what they do, even opening up with asking Diamond, Lapis, and Redstone if he likes what they did with the place

The thing that REALLY gets me though is the last line Chaotic said before teleporting away (because they got driven back by the main trio, and I assume the pacifist(?) side won the mental fight)

"We won't forgive him..."

Can we even tell which side is talking there? Who is "him?"

I feel like it could be either Diamond or Origin. Origin allowed a lot of stuff to happen (while blaming on Diamond), i mean i think he even mentioned a consequence of Dia's universal travel being something like..... i dont remember. really deadly for their universe

Maybe this is that. Maybe Origin's consequences are coming to him. Could Pacifist BE Origin? I DONT KNOW. MAYBE ITS DIAMOND. BUT ORIGIN could have let the Chromatics die off and thats why the colors are corrupted??? WHYYY ARE THE COLORS CORRUPTING.

Stuff with the Chromatics makes me really concerned for the Professor too, with him being the only Red Steve left (that we know of)

Uhhhhhhgggghh i have so so many thoughts

[stopthatfool]

thoughts while watching top gun cuz im a hater and it's been a while since i yapped. i've been quiet.. i must.. i must yap..

-80s intro montage. yeah exactly. this is MOVIE. like it's so MOVIE (TM). like it's THE movie.

-dumb fucking slowmo shot while goose and mav are inverted over the MiG still pisses me off (top gun theme starts playing loudly like a bald eagle cry-- AMERICA! WHAT THE FUCK IS A KILOMETER!)

-cougar turning in his wings stabs me in the chest as usual (ok lots of sweating cool cool cool)

-hollywolf scene ("this gives me a hard on" i know they fuck real nasty. what the hell foreplay in public during DADT is craaazzzyyyy)

-icemav eyefucking ok cool. ice twirling his pen and i am twirling my hair.

-casual misogyny drop thank u ice (alternate plaque) goose laugh so beautiful.. like an angel..

-o club scene (ANIMAL NIGHT sign yippee) shot of woman's thigh. okay. iceman ice cold no mistakes blah blah blah who cares. the icemav scene... still just as gay... why did they look at each other's lips.. i need them dead in a ditch.

-"carnal knowledge--of lady this time.." why does that need to specified.. god this is so gay what the hell. hello charlie. lost that loving feeling. ok cool. ok great. SOME ONE TAKE THAT MIC AWAY FROM HIM. hellish situation.. i'm so sorry charlie. i'll get u outta there.

-hello mansplaining callsigns and piloting... thank u mav.. god i hate his stupid face. "i can hold my own" oooooo foreshadowing for his downfall.. teamwork mav come on now

-mav entering the ladies room is still just as weird as it was the first time. "big mistake with that older guy" just after he tried to get her to fuck on a public bathroom counter.. okay sure.. yeah.. i need him dead tbh.

-DUMB FUCKING HAT!! JESTER IS WEARING THE DUMB FUCKING HAT!! wolfman wearing the cowboy hat.. they're in the dumb hat club together

-ice putting on his watch.. slutty waist i'm gonna throw him against the wall and smash his head in

-"u can run kid but u can't hide" ok cornball (i feel like i'm in a videogame) (do some of that pilot shit!) (plane shots. mav does something stupid. fork found in the kitchen. what else is new.) (bro why does he do a flyby why is he actually dumb) (YEEHAW!) yeah whatever

-dangerous scene. ya gay who cares. ice is chewing gum so dramatically like ok chew chew chew chew gnawgnaw gnaw gnaw. what's that Freudian theory... ice never got past his teething stage.. big ol fucking chompers or whatever. (should i study top gun characters through freudian theories.. just to be super fucking annoying)

-navy twink spills coffee all over navy bear (I WANT SOME BUTTS!)

-"I flew with his old man" do u guys think viper and duke ever explored each other's bodies. genuine question.

-sad goosmav scene (i just hope we graduate) goose puts mav on blast trauma dump for him like ok thanks goose (goosmav nation i understand u)

-"too aggressive.. i guess when i see something i go right after it." mav i'm gonna fucking kill you. shut the hell up. ur embarrassing me in front of my friends. "but u were tempted to ask me out to dinner" mav i need u to get so real rn. (tom cruise big ol fucking chompers)

-VOLLEYBALL SCENE! ONE OF MY FAV SONGS! i dont know a lot about volleyball,, but it kinda looks like they're doing it wrong tbh.. (bruce webber photography my beloved)

-take my breath away counter starts now.. lord im ready guys.. mav is late i hate him men can't do anything right.. why does charlie have a pet dog and a parrot.. "i'm gonna take a quick shower." what the fuck.. men r so weird why would he say that. like bro what.

-mav trauma dumping i love how much they just tell u things in this movie. like here let me tell u. show u? nah. i'll TELL you. straight up. then we get some wonky dialogue and i love it. so much.

-everyone in this movie has beautiful teeth. i wish to hold their teeth in my palms. inspect their teeth.

-butch lesbian charlie.. long hair mav cuz he was filming the color of money.. (vince hello hai hey hi) (but why is mav all sweaty in an elevator.. like where is he going.. are the showers up? down? where?)

-CAROLE! CAROLE! CAROLE! SHE'S HERE! MY LOVE! CAROLE! IM CRYING IM CRYING IM CRYING. CAROLE!

-idk what mav was expecting when getting involved with his teacher.. like come on bro r u stupid.. "i can't hear you!!!" (revs engine) like bro she has to keep up appearances.. she can't pick favs cuz she wants to fuck u like what r u dumb

-tom cruise yelling.. hell yeah.. act little man.. act for me.. ACT! ok they're kissing..

-WORST SEX SCENE EVER ALERT! YAAYYYY! (it's actually horrifying.. what is tom cruise doing oh my god.) (so much tongue???????? why????) taaaake my brrreeeaaathhhh awaaayyyyy

-i feel the need for speed. god shut the fuck up.

-shower scene. GUYS ITS THE POSTER! MY FIRST EVER TOP GUN POST! ITS THE POSTER! "Navy. it's not just a job. it's an adventure." who are u telling that to?? (other than the viewers obvs) but like they're already IN the navy. why have a navy recruitment poster IN the navy showers...

-hello ice ur so sexy. "it's ur attitude. ur worse than the enemy." god CORNBALL! CORNY! TOMATO! TOMATO! heart to heart in little towels.. okay.....

-GOODNESS GRACIOUS GREAT BALLS OF FIRE! mav and carole... mav and carole... god their friendship.. im crying... mav and bradley.. stop stop stop crying. crying so hard.

-and the movie ends... it ends right at them singing together... ain't that weird... hmmm the movie just... ends...??? could've sworn there was more.. but hmmm. it's over.. and everyone is alive and well! cool! awesome!

fuck it watching top gun to feel something again

[i-did-not-mean-to]

Boys and sticks - Chapter 55 🔨

Fandom: Hobbit (College AU)

Characters: @linasofia x Thorin, @laurfilijames x Fíli, me x Ori

Words: 1,6 k

Warnings: cursing...and Kí is back lol

Previous chapters

“Kí, what the fuck are you wearing that for?” Fíli exclaimed before breaking into a laughing fit.

“Fí, what the fuck are you not wearing a shirt for?” his brother shot back in the same horrified voice.

“Did your mommy dress you?” Fíli just ignored his brother’s comment.

“May I remind you that my mommy is also your mommy? Do you want me to send her a picture of you – shirtless – monkeying around in a very nice flat?” Kíli grinned, moving with graceful speed to pinch and twist his brother’s nipple mercilessly.

“BOYS!” Balin chided them in a hard voice, shaking his head at their shenanigans.

“Oh, hey…” Ori looked at me, his eyes wide and starry, and nodded slowly at the newcomers in utter confusion.

“Hello my dear boys,” Balin smiled gently while handing Tova a huge platter on which a moist, heavy chocolate cake sat, “mommy has baked a cake for you. This is a very nice flat indeed.”

He looked around for a second and nodded a few times.

“Thank you ever so much for inviting us, don’t believe Kí, he was as excited as a bag of fleas,” the older man then explained in a conspiratorial tone, “his mother indeed wanted him to look his best and he was eager to comply.”

“He’s as cute as a button,” Tova grinned, fond of the young man who smiled so openly at her.

“Hello ladies,” Kíli took her words as an invitation to kiss all of us on the cheek briefly which elicited low growls from the others.

“What is the matter, bro? Jealous?”

Oh, this was going to be a feast unlike any I had ever seen, I thought, as it already looked as if Fíli was ready to bite his younger brother while Lo smirked at them in amusement.

As a matter of fact, Tova was right, unlike our emotional associates, Kíli wore a light blue button-down and a pair of perfectly ironed dark trousers; his hair was neatly combed, and his face was fresh and joyous. One day, he’d make a girl very happy.

“So, what did I miss?” he asked, leaning against the counter as I took up my preparations for dinner again.

“Not much, there was an assault scare, we have haphazardly moved out, and dinner is late,” Tova gave him a brief overview.

“And why are they not wearing shirts?” Ah, straight to the core.

“Ori is having them on, but we don’t complain about it,” Lo grinned mischievously.

“Can I help with something?” Balin inquired, evidently not happy with all of them just standing around idly while we were in the kitchen slaving away.

“Not at all, just sit down, have a drink and tell us about our beloved,” Tova said, “I’m sure that cupboard is not assembled yet.”

As if pulled by a string, they all went back to the living room, Kíli trailing behind them and within a minute, hammering and yapping started up again.

“You’re doing it wrong!” – “You have to turn it around!” – “OH, you couldn’t keep your right side apart from your left if one of them was not considerably uglier than the other!” – “Well, this is not what the manual said!” – “Put down that hammer, you idiot.”

“Your beloved? You have time still to back out?” Balin laughed when we exchanged a look to see who was going over to keep them from hammering nails into one another’s skull.

“Not a chance in hell,” Lo sighed.

“Maybe we should give them a drink as well and a bowl of chips? Maybe, they’re just hangry?” Tova proposed, but she was interrupted by another peal of the doorbell.

As we all had our hands full of food, Balin offered to open, and we could absolutely see why he was a favourite with the men; he was discreet, unobtrusive, and always kind and helpful.

“Oh, hey, I…am I…Balin, ah good, it’s you…What the hell is this place?” Dwalin grumbled.

He shuffled in awkwardly, holding a tiny potted plant in his huge hands that he extended jerkily to us.

“Here, I brought…a plant,” he explained unnecessarily as Tova took it from him and put it on the windowsill.

“That is very kind of you,” she nodded while my eyes were probably bulging out of my head; it was ridiculous, but I was weirdly touched by this gruff man holding out this tiny gift like an offering.

Between Kí’s appearance and Dwalin’s gift, I felt more than ever as if I was a word away from breaking down in tears.

“Dwalin?” Thorin popped his head out of the living room in utter astonishment.

“We’re complete! Why don’t you go over and help assemble a ludicrously small cupboard? We’ll bring over drinks and snacks in a minute,” Tova smiled and ushered him through.

“They’re the sweetest, really,” Lo sighed under her breath as she wiped her hands on a towel and lifted a wooden tray I had bought in a flight of fancy with a small chuckle, “oh, Jia, I should put on a maid’s costume for this, huh?”

“You do as you please, woman,” I laughed, trying to shake the unfamiliar feeling of being surrounded by people I actually liked that seemed to compress my heart so much that all the cracks in it fused together again.

“Erm, why are we bare-chested?” Dwalin asked, already shrugging out of his shirt, as he entered the living room and looked at four men sitting around a half-assembled piece of furniture like cavemen around a fire.

“Jia thought this was a ‘sexy’ thing to buy,” Ori informed him, frowning over the contradictory manual that jumbled all the steps.

“I highly doubt that she had you lot taking off your shirts in mind,” Kíli remarked doubtfully, scratching his head, and disturbing the perfectly neat waves of his hair.

“What would you know about that? You know nothing about girls,” his brother replied snarkily.

“I don’t need to know anything about girls, Fí, I see you clear as day and the kind of woman who would appreciate that might still have to be born…preferably without eyes,” Kíli laughed and bore the small shove – he had deserved – with equanimity.

“No, but seriously, I see things have progressed nicely since the barbecue,” he then said a little more seriously.

“Ehhh, yes, I think they have,” Thorin agreed in a mumble as he had decided to hold all the nails necessary to affix the backwall of the cupboard between his lips while he stared at their progress critically.

“Is it good to have a girlfriend? I mean, is it fun?” Kíli toyed absent-mindedly with a piece of wood while he took in the relaxed faces – and bellies – of his kinsmen, an insidious hint of envy creeping up his throat.

“Be careful what you say now, my boy,” Lo strode in and – immediately – Fí scrambled up to take the tray from her.

“Oh, snacks,” Kíli hooted, factoring in that fact in his mental calculations as well; girls had always seemed like too much of a hassle to him, they wanted very different things in life and were very often not much fun.

“You tell us if you need us, right?” Fí asked, slipping his hand around Lo’s hip and pulling her into a short kiss as she was turning to retreat back into the kitchen, “We’re not doing that whole ‘women belong in the kitchen’-thing.”

Lo chuckled with a weighty look into Ori’s direction: “Jia has it under control, even though she looks like she might need a cuddle.”

“Come sit down with me for a second then,” Fíli invited, rubbing his hands over her shoulders coaxingly.

“Let’s get the mattress from the guest room so you don’t have to sit on the floor,” Lo grinned, winking at him; she had just gotten a text saying that the TV and the console would be delivered shortly, and she was looking forward to seeing their eyes.

“Dwalin, give me a hand, you stay here and marvel at our prowess,” Fí grinned and disappeared with his cousin.

Lo did not know what there was to admire, but she smiled at the thing that started to vaguely resemble a small cupboard indeed.

“I don’t expect anyone needs my help,” Thorin muttered with a crooked smile.

When the doorbell rang, Lo smiled: “You could go open the door?”

“Let’s go over and see their faces,” Tova nudged me in the ribs, and I followed her into the living room.

Following my instinct, I crouched down behind Ori and pressed a small kiss onto the nape of his neck.

“That is the wrong side of his head,” Kíli grinned.

“Thank you, Kí, I know where his face is,” I laughed, catching Ori’s hand before the poor youngster could be shoved or playfully punched yet again, “but it was not available at this moment, and this is also nice.”

“Hmmm, it sure is, how are you doing, love?” craning his neck, Ori presented me with that face we had just been talking about and reaped the kiss Kí seemed to be looking for so much.

“Aw…so, you’re a real couple now?” Oh, how could I have forgotten that he’d go straight for the jugular?

What was I to say? We had never talked about it…

“Don’t be so naïve, Kí, things are not always that easy,” Ori replied soberly, but in my heart of hearts, I disagreed; things could have been this easy if only I was a little more confident like Tova or a little less frightened like Lo.

“You haven’t made up your mind?” Kí asked me then, softer, more careful, and I struggled to find the words because what he insinuated was not exactly where the problem really lay.

“Boys,” Thorin came in, followed by a man with a contraption onto which a huge TV was strapped, “grab your lady and kiss her feet!”

[imaginesforthosewhoseekthem]

Just imagine a normally nice MC that is pissed off. Everyone will be kinda concerned and confused bc this docile, sweet human is threatening to behead them. This something I cannot get out of my head. It’s ok if you don’t do it, but thanks for taking the time to read this :)

((I might just be on a Danganronpa binge, but I picture MC snapping like this (Spoilers for Danganronpa if you’ve never seen or played it and intend on doing so. I’ll put a gif under it if it helps prove the point better) ))

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gt_qF8SbZ_I

                         I’m gonna TRY to take this seriously, I swear XD. Only doing this with the 7 bros atm, but lemme know if you guys want the undateables in the future.

SPOILERS FOR LESSONS 1-20, MOSTLY CUSA BELPHIE’S PART. I really hope this is okay, it took me a WHILE to write. There’s probably some grammar mistakes here and there, but I will fix them overtime))

Lucifer:

Lucifer was kinda putting pressure on you with chores and tasks, barely giving you time to rest. Eventually, it just kinda made you snap at him.

“CAN’T YOU DO THIS CRAP YOURSELF?! YOU MANAGE THESE 6 IDIOTS ALL THE TIME AND YOU CAN’T DO SOMETHING LIKE A SIMPLE CHORE OR TASK?!” you snapped at him.

Welp...it was nice knowing you. Depending on the types of relationship you have with Lucifer, his punishments are either personal...or “Private” if you get my drift.

WE KNOW YOU’RE A FREAKY BITCH, LUCI!

Either way, you DEFINITELY feel like you are dead meat once you realize it was LUCIFER you snapped at. 

If the others are in the room with you, Mammon will run, Levi will livestream it, Satan and Belphegor will either be there to laugh at you or encourage you to say worse, Beel will get a snack to watch and Asmo...well he’ll probably tell Luci to try not leave a mark on your body because that’s “his job”. Basically no one is helpful here.

Unless you’re not afraid of Luci or just stupid in which case, you keep runnin your damn mouth at him over stuff that will TOTALLY hurt his Pride. If you get one of his brothers to laugh, even SNICKER at him, you are in WORSE trouble.

Bonus points added to you getting screwed over by him if Diavolo was anywhere CLOSE to hear that,

Your ass is getting dragged to his room or office and getting a talking to or a “talking to” for SEVERAL hours straight.

Luci doesn’t take shit, He i the Avatar of Pride and will not let some human taint it.

Not gonna lie though...you DID catch him off guard and he did kinda ease up on the work because even though he’s way stronger than you, he does NOT wanna see you like that ever again

 Mammon:

Oh, he did it again. He got both of you in trouble. You snapped cus this was the third time in a row that week. Mammon’s making his stupid excuses and it just..unloaded onto him.

“WELL MAYBE IF YOU WEREN’T SUCH A SCUMBAG, WE WOULDN'T GET INTO SO MUCH TROUBLE!” you barked at him.

He. Was. Stunned. 

If you’re Lucifer levels of angry, he might even be a little scared of you. 

For a moment to defend himself, he may switch to how he was when you two first met.

“O-Oh yeah?! Who are you, a weak, feeble HUMAN to tell the Great Mammon what he is and isn’t?! I could crush ya right now if I wanted to!”

He’s bluffing so much even humans that WEREN’T there could see it.

“Oh, you know what? YA KNOW WHAT?! That is it! I am not even gonna speak to you til you are BEGGIN’ me to forgive ya!”

Yep, he’s really doing this. Obviously, you don’t care because you’re not the one that should be apologizing here.

The other 6 are actually pretty happy with this transaction. Finally, some silence from Mammon’s ever yapping pie-hole. He’s sitting there with a pout on his lip and slumped. He’s not going to say how sorry you’ll be in front of his brothers because he said HE wasn’t talking to YOU. So he doesn’t need it rubbed in his face.

Of course, being the Avatar of Greed, he’s up to his Greedy ways, so he’ll make whatever excuse he can to get his brothers away from you.

Not even a day has passed and he comes up saying he “forgives you for getting mad at him”. But if you still look upset with him, he does legit feel bad and apologizes...the MAMMON way lol.

“Well...I GUESS if it bugs you that much, I could keep outta trouble...Just for a little while, though! I ain't some softie! I’m too much of an awesome rebel for that~!” he said, trying so much to impress you with his “Bad Boy” attitude.

Deep down, he just doesn’t want to make his human mad at him again.

 Leviathan:

((Sorry if the reason isn't great, but this baby boy is too cute to have a reason to be mad at, I’m sorry! If Levi stans hate this, you have permission to slap me. I deserve it XD))

Levi had kept dragging you to play games with him and watch anime, but you had studying to do.

Whenever you tried to tell him you had to go study, he did this thing where he would use the “Studying is probably better than hanging out with a lame otaku like me” speech to get you to cave in.

You didn't realize it, but you only had a few days left to study and you were STRESSED.

Levi was about to use the same speech on you again when you finally had had enough.

“LEVI! I HAVE SPENT SO MUCH TIME WITH YOU, IT COULD ACTUALLY COST ME FROM GETTING A GOOD GRADE! CAN YOU PLEASE PULL YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ANIME AND VIDEO GAMES AND DO SOMETHING THAT DOESN'T RISK OTHER PEOPLE FAILING AT LIFE!“ you blurted. You regretted saying some of that, but it was too little too late. 

Levi was hurt his best friend would say all of that to him. You could see him fighting back tears. 

“F-Fine..! Whatever! I can just find s-someone else to play with me..!” he said, choking n his words. “J-Just get outta my room, already!”

You tried to apologize for snapping, but he wasn’t having it, at least not right now. 

You would make it up to him after you finished studying and taking your test.

Levi spent the next few days being somewhat passive-aggressive towards you, spending more time with Mammon or Henry 2.0 (his goldfish) just to spite you. However, you were too busy catching up on the studying you missed out on to notice.

Eventually, he was ready to go give you a piece of his mind when he saw...you were asleep at your desk and surrounded by books. It kinda made him realize how much he really made you miss out on and he felt pretty bad.

The next morning, you woke up to a text from Lucifer that said he pulled some strings to get you more time to study and have your date for the test slightly later than the others. You also had Levi’s jacket wrapped around your shoulders.

You definitely bought him some new games and figures as a way to apologize for yelling at him and you two made up.

Rest assured, Levi listens to you way more after that. You being mad at him is upsetting and kinda scary to him.

Satan:

Satan was being a typical cynical smartass and talking about what tricks he’ll attempt on Lucifer today.

The past THREE times you, he and Belphie tried to pull pranks on Lucifer, you were one step ahead and you just DID not have the energy for it anymore.

“Hey Satan..~” you say sweetly to lure him in.

“Mmm?” he asked, distractedly.

“Shut...the F**K up!” you snapped, irritated at him.

Now...There are really two ways the Avatar or Wrath can take being told to shut up, let alone to shut the f up. 

If you are LUCKY...Satan will laugh it off with an amused chuckle that you’re trying to intimidate him

Your luck runs out of you try and elaborate on that WHILE he’s laughing.

“IF YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE THE SMARTEST BROTHER, HOW DO YOU HAVE SUCH IDIOTIC IDEAS?!”

You’re dead. You’ve dug your own grave and you are DEAD. He’ll PROBABLY grab you by the throat if that REALLY pissed him off.

“What the F**K...did you just say to me you weak, breakable little twerp?” he asks in that calm, serial killer like tone that let’s you know you’re dead meat.

That’s when you run, you knock some books in his path and you run!

You don’t stop running until you find Lucifer to make Satan calm the hell down.

It’s probably best if you two don’t talk to one another for a few days.

Satan is secretly shocked and upset his image of you being the innocent one is shattered...for like, a SECOND. That is until he realizes...he LIKES to see you angry...and he WILL use this newfound enjoyment against you.

You go to apologize, but he yanks you in, pins you to the wall like he’s going to hurt you...but smirks and says in his most smarmy and CONDESCENDING tone.

“You’re even cuter when you’re mad~ I won’t hurt you over this...at least not in the way I had intended~” he teases before pecking your nose and walking away like the tease he is.

He could be such a bitch sometimes.

 Asmodeus:

You were honestly pretty jealous of the people who Asmo had been flirting with. To the point it was really starting to irritate you. Especially if he spoke about how cute OTHER people were while you were there.

When he got to talking about something hot someone else has that you are self conscious over…you just lost it.

“MAYBE IF YOU STARTED THINKING WITH THE HEAD ON YOUR SHOULDERS, YOU’RE VAIN DUMBASS COULD FOCUS ON YOUR STUDIES!” you hissed.

Asmo blinked at you, shocked you would even WANT to shriek at someone as beautiful as him. After thinking it over for a second, not even looking offended, just surprised, he grew a small smirk.

You see, kids, if events have taught us anything, it’s that you can’t get angry at Asmo…cus his horny-ass just thinks you’re being forceful or aggressive and he enjoys it.

“My, my~ This is an INTERESTING change of pace, (Y/N). I sense that someone is jealous over my attention being away from them~! Of course, it’s not like I blame you~! I’m so beautiful, ANYONE would fight over me~” he bragged.

You were just so done with his nonsense, you were about to leave, but you felt him grab your wrist all of a sudden. He tugged you close and stroked your chin with a sly smirk.

“That being said, I think I LIKE seeing you raise your voice at me~ Do it some more, (Y/N)~ Pretty please~❤”

Yep, you were gone. You couldn’t with his flirty shit right now. You were still mad, you just had the deepest blush across your cheeks.

Asmo kept trying to make you jealous so you would bark at him. You opened a new kink for him to say the least.

You know what DID end up getting to him though? When you looked the person he was flirting with dead in the eye and said “You can have him..” like you were giving away something you didn’t even want.

THAT’S when he got offended. He was maaaaaaaad.

“(Y/N)! How could you SAY such a thing?! Do you not want me or something?!” he asked, pouting up a storm.

Well, you wanted to get a reaction out of him, you just didn’t expect it to go like THAT.

He tries to give you the cold shoulder, but he wants your attention too much to keep it up, so he eventually sits beside you with a pout on his lips and his arms folded.

“I’m willing to apologize for flirting with other demons...but only if you apologize for that comment earlier.” He said

You eventually do apologize, cus even if you love him, a whiny Asmo can get emotionally tiring. You promise him you mean every word of apology…and then he tackles you with hugs and kisses.

You may or may not regret apologize just for that alone, but at least he’s happy.

Beezlebub:

Beel ate something you were saving for later. Usually he wouldn’t because he would want to eat something like that WITH you since it was yours. Sometimes it wasn’t even that big of a deal to you because you could just get more. ((I know all the foodies in the audience are looking at me funny for writing that. Look guys, unless it’s something I haven’t had in a while, I don’t personally care if someone eats my food.))

 But this time it was different. It was a special treat someone close to you had brought just for you before you got to the Devildom. Maybe even they last time you’d see them for a long time, not just the year you were in the Devildom. It’s not the last time you see them ever because it’s not gonna be THAT depressing guys.

You had written your name and everything on it, but Beel was in his hungry stages…like CLOSE to demon form stages.

You saw the carnage left over from this special treat. Beel was JUST apologize when you snapped.

“TURNING INTO A DEMON PUT YOUR BRAIN IN YOUR STOMACH, DIDN’T IT?!” you snapped. Beel was like…legit surprised to see this coming from YOU of all people. You were such a small, sweet little human the rest of the time and here you were, yelling at him.

Yelling at Beel definitely caused some instant regret, because the boy couldn’t help himself. Now YOU were about to apologize when Beel interrupted.

“I-I’m so sorry (Y/N). I didn’t realize how much it meant to you. I should have gotten one of my brothers to call you…o-or told you on my D.D.D so we could’ve…I’m sorry.” He said, frowning. “I promise, I’ll make up for this…I’ll go to the human world and get the person who made it if I have to.” He said, leaving you alone.

Well you sure felt like a jackass now. Yeah, out of all the brothers, Beel is probably the most understanding, so you legit feel like an ass after yelling at him. You texted and said your apology over and over to him, but he either wouldn’t reply because he was trying to re-create it or insisting it was hit fault.

Belphie is pretty pissed you yelled at Beel like that, but you did tell him you didn’t mean for it to slip out and explain the situation.

He doesn’t get the sentimental value like you or Beel do, but he soon gets you really ARE sorry and leaves you alone about it.

Beel eventually calls you over and he made a BUNCH of the food he ate on you. Some he got his brothers or Barbados to help him with, but a lot were made by him.

This freaking teddy bear of a demon worked his wings off to make it up to you. Of COURSE you two forgive each other.

The flavor probably isn’t EXACTLY like the one he ate on you, but you felt the love put into it none the less and you at least have a new fond memory of that food. You may need help eating it all though.

The whole house eats that dish for a while. You even get Solomon, the angels and even Diavolo to help clean out the supply.

Beel’s more than happy to help though. It’s also just as well you won’t see the person who gave you the original for a while. You get sick of it pretty quick…but seeing Beel smile over it does help bring enjoyment back to the flavor.

 Belphegor:

It was either like Satan where he got you in trouble with Lucifer or he slept in and missed out on something important. Either way, you were fed up with Belphie showing up late to things or not showing up at all

As soon as he woke up, he just gave you an innocent looking, bus clearly condescending smile, much like when he used to lie to your face. You sure let him have it in the middle of his smart ass tone.

“WITH HOW IRRESPONSIBLE YOU ARE, I WISH I COULD SLEEP RIGHT THROUGH ALL YOUR BULLS**T!” you barked at him all of a sudden.

Now kinda like Satan, at first Belphie’s response to this is to get angry right away. His face gradually lowers and he kinda towers over you like he’s trying to intimidate you and, if you remember what he did in another timeline, it kinda works to a degree.

“The hell did you just say to me? I killed you once, I’ll do it again if I wanted to.” He was hoping to catch you off guard and laugh at you once you got scared of him, but you were still just so mad at him, you were ready to call his bluff.

“YEAH?! BIG MAN?! GO ON! DO IT! GIVE LUCI ANOTHER REASON TO LOCK YOU IN THE F**KIN ATTIC!” you yelled, pushing him.

Okay, THAT was a scorcher tho! That knocked the damn wind out of him. He knew for a FACT, you would never bring him being in the attic into this, so he KNEW he had legit pissed you right off. He just kinda took a step back in surprise.

“Okay, damn…I wasn’t being serious.” He said, picking up his pillow and walking away, shaking his head slightly. “You humans are so sensitive at times.

Out of all the brothers, as surprised as he is by your outburst, he probably cares the least. You know how he is with Lucifer, so he’ll likely use this as a means to push your buttons too.

You don’t want to talk to him, but he will STILL give you a smarmy “Are you done being a child yet?” JUST to get on your nerves.

Beel can see that it’s not just putting a damper on your mood, but Belphie’s too, because as much as he wants to uphold how much of a smartass he is, he’s finding it harder to take naps knowing he upset you.

The twins talk it out and Belphie admits defeat, waiting til you’re alone in your room to go see you. He says nothing, comes in and sits on your bed, gesturing you sit beside him and resting his head on your lap.

“I’m sorry I kept pushing you…I didn’t realize how much I actually upset you and I’ll try not to sleep in as much if it’s for you..” he said softly.

You stroked his hair slowly and kissed his forehead. “I’m sorry I yelled at you..the attic thing was too far.” You said.

Belphie smiled and wrapped his arms around you, keeping you in place. “You can make it up to me by letting me sleep on you.

He did actually make better effort into showing up and it only cost more naps while holding you, so best make sure you don’t have anywhere to be for the next few hours. Belphie will lock you in place.

[chirpycloudyrobin]

@arthuralbion i didnt want to be limited by the character count in the replies so i am yapping here ! this is not gnna be meta btw ! just a bunch of headcanons from all the 'what ifs' i cld make from what little info we have from the novels lmao. playing fast and loose w my rambling here so bear wimme

so personally i dont really vibe w the dark!lans or dark!qingheng-jun interpretations or any version of the atticwife trope. i do vibe with the implications that whatever went down with qingheng-jun, madam lan, and the rest of the lan clan was bad and the consequeces pretty much helped shape the lan bros down the line, as generational trauma does.

a lot, or even all, of what we know abt qingheng-jun and madam lan (will be collectively addressed as lan parents from here on out) is secondary / tertiary information. we never get the full truth of it. there is no secret writings or past recordings whatsoever straight from the lan parents themselves that would confirm or deny whatever has been said by others. we also have enough reason to suspect that maybe, maybe the elder lans have a wholly different perspective on how things went down and that that perspective would always be on the side of the clan and what they deem is right and just, instead of the actual victim. in the jianghu, it's always the clan first and not the individual.

we also see how the clan, specifically the elders / ones in power, would react if one of their own would go off and try to be with someone they deem as 'other' for whatever reason. we also know that the lan elders, or at least lan qiren, would judge a child based on their parent. iirc it's common in thing, having descendants bear the sins of their forebearers (see: wen remnants being condemned for the sins of the main branch). and of course, the gentry's entire thing about people knowing their place and staying within their station

it fits well with mdzs' entire thing with rumours and their hold on cultivation / gentry society.

so we have all of that. i can now paint another picture on how the lan parents' story goes down.

im gonna sit here and assume that the mdzs jianghu is predominantly han chinese and located around the southeastern part of this fantasy china. we'll also play fast and loose with the timeline but if we have to be specific, their time would be roughly between 222AD and 589AD.

we know that madam lan was a rogue cultivator before she married into the lan clan. we do not know from whom lan wangji got his light eyes. we do not know what the lan parents actually look like in terms of colouring and specific physical features. we DO know that lan xichen has darker eyes than he does.

now what if,,, WHAT IF ,,,,

what if lan wangji got his light eyes from his mother,,, BECAUSE mama lan is actually from a culture far, far north, where there is less sun and people genetically have lighter colouring. aka, people of the eurasian steppes. aka, xianbei and rouran people, among other tribes. xianbei and rouran existed

this places her firmly in the outsider category in the jianghu. she's even more of an outsider than cangse sanren even though both are rogue cultivators. cangse sanren was born and raised within the jianghu and its society, madam lan wasnt.

"but cloud !!" you exclaim. "if she's not jianghu, how is she practicing cultivation ?"

easy, cultural assimilation. xianbei and rouran people IRL were nomadic people so we can easily say that their mdzs counterpart are nomadic also. maybe madam lan's specific tribe settled somewhere near the cultivation sects in the far north. maybe they took in rogue cultivators that made it that far up north. maybe she learned as she went down her merry way to the main setting of mdzs.

madam lan is already an outlier in her own society. she took up the bow and the sword, got on her horse, and traveled farther than her family has ever traveled. she stops every so often to help out the regular people she comes across. maybe she meets some rogue cultivator here and there and picks up on some of their techniques. maybe she meets a certain cangse sanren along the way and they become best rogue cultivator buddies and somehow end up in gusu, where they meet their future husbands

now imagine madam lan deep within the heart of the cultivation world and the gentry. shes a powerful, talented and unaffiliated cultivator. her face is other, her mannerisms are other, her speech is other. even her cultivation is other. and yet she outperforms all of them. she struggles within the social contexts, yes, but she excels wonderfully in the art of warfare and battle. in fact, she may just be on par with the jianghu's no.1 youth at that time: the lan clan's own heir qingheng-jun.

maybe it's true that qingheng-jun fell for her at first sight, but madam lan couldnt be bothered with romance at that time because she was too busy exploring the world.

maybe they both bond over the knowledge they could exchange with each other. qingheng-jun absorbs new knowledge like a sponge and madam lan left her home to learn more about the broader world. it just clicks.

but now is not the time and place for their early days. we're here to talk about the rest of the nitty gritty details.

so obviously madam lan just goes against so, so many of the lan precepts. she is far too free-spirited for them. she has different beliefs and different approaches to so many things that shouldve been the norm of their sect already. and she's from the north. where the "barbarians" are.

in real life, the sociopolitical relations of the xianbei and rouran with the han chinese have all started off very rough, in the most basic of terms. their beginnings were marked with military confrontations which would end up in varying degrees of cooperation and assimilation. the han viewed the xianbei and the rouran as a threat, and the two viewed the han the same way.

we can translate this into mdzs by having the main cultivation sects view the nomadic people of the north as unrestrained and war-embroiled. stories of the northern tribes' military confrontations and raids of northern china would trickle down to the southeast. madam lan, as someone from the far north, would obviously carry the sins of her people. she would obviously be believed to be as unrestrained as her people. obviously, she could be a threat to them and their stability. who knows what her actual motivations are for arriving and staying in the jianghu ?

so now we have a clearer picture of madam lan in this particular version. she's an "outsider" from the feared tribes of the northern steppe. she is a new, unknown variable within a mostly homogenous culture. she has no one but cangse sanren to speak for her. she has nothing to her name, but her skills are on par of their most talented. she is not one to bend to their rules. she has captured the lan clan heir's heart and no one knows what she wants to do at this point.

enter: the murdered lan teacher.

obviously the elders are going to be very concerned with this strange girl capturing the pure heart of their qingheng-jun, right ? especially qingheng-jun's own teacher who had raised the boy from toddler-hood after qingheng-jun and lan qiren's parents had died an unfortunate, early death. it's his responsibility to make sure the young sect heir keeps on the righteous path.

so he confronts this strange girl alone.

he attempts to send her away. offers her so many things just to get her out of the jianghu and out of qingheng-jun's life. she's just not fit to be by his side if she insists on keeping her barbaric ways. she refuses to learn the ways of the jianghu. she refuses to listen to her elders. she is clearly not someone fit to be around such distinguished people.

he is unsuccessful but there is a clear, unpleasant tension between the two. madam lan doesnt tell qingheng-jun, it's not her place to meddle in someone else's family. the teacher does tell qingheng-jun, it's his responsibility. qingheng-jun insists on forming his own opinions anyway, but keeps his teacher's advice in mind.

and then madam lan learns something she never shouldve known. obviously, she should be kept quiet. and who would believe an outsider anyway ?

a scuffle happens. qingheng-jun arrives at the nick of time. at the end of it, one teacher is dead. both are the culprit, but it was self defense.

unfortunately, in the jianghu, clan comes first.

the truth of that night is that both of them killed the teacher. the truth that is kept alive is that madam lan was the murderer. qingheng-jun was never in the area.

qingheng-jun still gets punished of course. a few strikes of the discipline whip and a few years in seclusion. madam lan gets thricefold the punishment.

they still want to save face. and maybe a couple of them actually do believe that madam lan has bewitched qingheng-jun.

love was still able to bloom somehow. maybe the lan parents snuck out to see each other. maybe they were given a day or two together each month. either way, they had two sons: lan huan and lan zhan. unfortunately, the lan elders dont want any of madam lan's northern "barbarian" culture anywhere near their perfect heirs

does lan qiren know the actual full story ? probably. but he was also probably on the opinion that madam lan did bewitch his older brother somehow, at that time. maybe he comes to the realisation that maybe it really was a slowly blooming love between his brother and his sister-in-law. maybe.

and maybe the lan brothers were fed a twisted version of the truth. their parents' story, bent and rewritten to serve as a cautionary tale.

unfortunately, history does end up repeating itself.

but maybe this time, the outcome will be different.

about to do something really fucking funny (make my own interpretation of what happened between qingheng-jun and madam lan that would require me doing extensive research on the sociopolitical history and interactions between the xianbei people, the rouran people, and the han chinese people, and which would also explain why lwj was always noted to have light eyes compared to the other characters whose eye colours were almost never mentioned or pointed out)

[shytiff]

Mar 2021 Wins

1 - Work againn except the medical record ran out. So we went back at 12 am. Relaxeddd at home. Fasted today (still got 2 fasting debts to go). Meeting with dr dafsah dr bayushi and dr debby at 20:30. I embarrassed myself lmao,,, and what you can say as "asal bunyi". Let the overthinking and fear begin. I actually woke up 3 times during the night, lmaoo is it anxiety? Never happened to me before.

2 - we need to take care of administrations to get more medical record so we did. Wasted almost half of the day but we finally managed. Immediately fell asleep at home lmao

3 - the usual day in harkit. Asked more medical records. Planned to go to cp to see slip ons but the tj i wanted to ride went straight to kalideres so like the sane person i am of course i went back home. Timing is very222 great sometimes in life. Zoom meeting with the ever so kind dr eva. Mahmud and dela joined the assistant gang

4 - magang. Met dr eva in pediatric icu. late late evening lunch was kungpao chicken sec bowl (which i exclaimed as sweet. And then my friend said kungpao is supposed to taste like that. Huh). I was picked up after maghrib. Laid down in bed, playing my phone until 22ish and i fell asleep. Damn i shouldve slept earlier yknow

5 - magang. Ate spicy salmon onigiri from lawson for lunch. Went to btkv basecamp with mahmud since RM was a bit crowded. Not even 10 mins in, and we excused ourselves because misuh2 btkv near the computer on our table. Went to nonama in le meridien after magang with ara ness gen cal hanin amal alya. The sushi was so so (too much rice). Yay for lots of sashimi. Salmon kushiage was tasty. Salmon aburi cheesy stuff was tasty. Soba so so. Takoyaki explodes in your mouth. While waiting for mom, saw live piano performance in the lobby. Shes playing alone. I hope she knows someone out there appreciates it *oddly melancholic*

6 - slept in. Felt good. Hurriedly showered and got ready bcs i thot it was getting a bit late and turns out i arrived in halte kalideres 9:11 am lmao. Breakfast slash lunch was penyetan cok ayam. The sambal was not THAT spicy but my tongue has weakened now. Picked up some data in RM. Went to central park with my heavy ass bag to search for slip ons. Didnt find one yet. Went to kkv for the first time. Went back home and its heavy rain on the tj but dry in kalideres. Snacked on fitz cookies (its basically vegan tuffis) on the bus since i felt hungryyy. Juan bought chicken satay and when i arrived theyre all eating but i didnt feel like eating with them lmao (its been a while since i last did) so i just went upstairs, finished that fitz cookies, fell asleep in my mukena (after maghrib) and skipping isya :(

7 - didnt feel like doing anything when i woke up, but forced myself to open laptop for nemo. Played a bit of keyboard. Ate last nights satay. Rly was in a rut until i managed to shower (i last showered yesterday morning,,,) and felt a bit better. Even did night skin care and mask (which i didnt do lately)

8 - magang as usual while listening to curhat babu. I was still feeling "off" even though i was outside already. Felt a bit more normal after i had lawson's ice arabica gayo covfefe. Lunch was spicy sec bowl with extra chicken. Coffee's effect is amazing im just blown away. Like im not tired. I feel normal. I dont feel like immediately going to bed when i arrive at the house. Read and finished starving anonymous before bed. Its... A lot to take in. Especially before bed lmaoo

9 - mencret2 in the morning and i blame it on spicy sec bowl. my pace in magang is so slow why :( lunch is carbonara spaghetti from Barilla (29k with discount). It does make you feel full, and it is creamy. But the beef bacon is so few 😐 it will be more delish if it has more bacon. Picked up by mom after maghrib today. At 19:30 ish my stomach hurtedddd bcs of rising acid.its been a while since it happened. Thankfully mom bought tan ek tjoan and brownies. The ache dissipated after i finished my bread. Its so cold in the car tfff or is it my poor metabolism

10 - magang til after isya since tomorrow is a holiday. powered by lawson’s arabica gayo after lunch (good habit’s minimal-taste fried rice lol). while on the way back, kapjagiii ukmppd result announcement. alhamdulillah i passed. congratulated by some. slept late seeing people’s social media update.

11 - woke up late. didnt feel hungry, so i ate at 13:00 ish (tuna, peanut-chocolate sandwich). slept after eating. ghosted mahmuda calling me regarding after zuhur liqo. didnt pick up atikah’s calls. cant seem to talk lmao. rly rly tried to do dr dafsah’s excel this day, but cant seem to start my day. i was like “i’ll take a shower” but i didnt. “i’ll start the excel at 20:00″ i didnt. i just slept. and woke. and slept. dreamed about going to dufan with clara but we bailed since there was no promo. i practically didnt no anything today lol

12 - finally showered (that was supposedly done yesterday lmao). my pink flats broke down. i was the only one who come lmao. did dr dafsah’s excel and finished at 10. went to TA and tried popolamama’s ayce. tried chicken arabiatta (very tomato-ey taste, not a fan), pepperoni, bolognese and banana caramel with vanilla ice cream. Managed to eat 4 small pizza out of 9 flavor choices. While eating i remembered i came to celebrate passing ukmppd. so in my mind i pat myself in the back and said (not out loud) congrats for passing ukmppd. it felt bittersweet, but a nice validation. tried to search for slip ons again but didnt find one. bought a black top in uniqlo. started reading here you are

13 - lazed and lazed and jhs friends wanted to meet up but i cant even muster the courage to shower lmao. after zuhur was the meet up time but i slept at 12. lets go. come on. out. suddenly i have to build up a will to socialize just like with running. and i managed. left the house at 13:30-ish. went to ali kopi dm and got thai tea. slowly warming up my social battery. and then things felt a bit better. and we moved to flavola (got the somay). and talked we did, until suddenly its near isya. and then i had to go back bcs mom was being restrictive as usual. if it werent for that i would stay longer w atikah and pupuy. felt energized afterwards, read more of here you are and slept at 00:00 ish

14 - woke up, played some keyboard. im not prepared for another monday. Mangago is down. Unboxed my knockoff airpods that arrived couple of days ago. The sound and function was ok. Showered near the end of zuhur.

15 - magang as usual. Got out of my gloomy (felt a bit better) after going out. Lunch was ayam pedas lawson with added fried chicken. Also bought arabica gayo. Went back home before maghrib. Why must i be here while my dad talk about whatever before sholat maghrib. I hate it here. Ara and redita stayed over bcs theyre 'supposedly' going to rsut to pick up samples. Except it was cancelled and in the morning they went back to rscm,,,

16 - its only morning but i yapped abt worrying in our future to poor ekal who just sat there lmaoo. I told him how i realized im easily bored. Tried K-Chop for lunch, bought kimchi bokkeumbap, pajeon and kimchi jeon. The fried rice tasted like fried rice but with a hint of kimchi. Kimchi jeon was good and refreshing. the pajeon was basically egg with added ingredients. But it did make me feel full. Suddenly felt like singing life goes on with the keyboard.

17 - tried fitfut for lunch. Got mushroom chicken steak and katsu wrap. Their katsu is,,, simply put, tasteless. Like those HEALTHY healthy foods. The (small) chicken steak was ok. The mushroom sauce tasted good. Zoom call with dr dafsah at 12 am. More work i guess,,,

18 - fasted today. Still got 1 debt to go. Sahur was indomie, banana and protein shake. Did not feel hungry in magang but i kinda felt lightheaded. And then i cant take it anymore and went home at 2 pm. Arrived after ashar. Theres PLENTY of time to do stuff, right? Nope. I just laid in bed playing my phone til maghrib (iftar was chicken noodle) and continued until i fell asleep. My dream was absurd lmaoooo

19 - had custom salad hut for lunch. felt suuuper fult. bought pop cookies since it was the last day of grabfood’s 50% promo. was picked up after isya by mom. we talked with the resident who’s doing his thesis stuff and it turns out he’s from the same shs as mahmuda lmao. he bought kopsus and donat kampung for us, how kinddd :”) i said “mantap ni kakak kelasnya mahmud” and he said “kamu kan adek kelas saya juga”. kind seniors. i hope they have great careers and be successful and im learning to be kind from kind people. i dont know, im just easily touched by simple gestures lmaoo. first time trying tuku’s coffee. it’s smooth and creamy (like the milk and coffee unites (?)) and it doesnt separate when you leave it. its milky but has a strong coffee taste. Slept at 11 pm-ish, playing my phone

20 - lazed. saw long covid webinar. ate mom’s salmon mentai, pop cookies matcha cream cheese and dark chocolate. the dark chocolate one, especially a bit cold, taste soooo good wtf. concentrated sugar and chocolate at its finest. played some keyboard. saw youtube vids about the genius jacob collier. lent my byu phone number so ara could use it to catfish in coffee and bagel lol. bought sbux green tea and caramel macchiato 1 L for 100k + delivery fee and my bro said it tasted good

21 - tried pop cookies red velvet this time. Its super sweet yall and i thought martabak orins was the epitome of d40 bolus. did pamela reif 10 mins calorie burn that wont kill you. except i got doms WITHIN the day of work out. also attempted sun salutation and my leg is so damn stiff. did some work on sunday!!! wow!!!! (after wasting 2 weekends) finished skimming air gear lol. it still made me feel glorious. 

22 - volunteered to help vaccination at rptra planet senen w akis els yud kind. Finished at about 13:30. We got chicken noodle, nasi padang and mcd lol. Went to senen bus station. Prayed there. Called mahmud and turns out theres no new medical record so i went straight home. Ate the mcd and lazed in bed

23 - vaccine volunteer again, this time in sd 01 kramat, w regen nagit red adita. Observation table again. Except its twice the amount of pt compared to yesterday. Nebeng redita to gang IX and walked to nessa's place. Went to GI and we watched violet evergarden (tif gen ness kris indah ara). The ac in the screenX cgv theater wasnt even on. Picked up by mom at 20:30 ish so i hurried down. The movie was hilarious w indah's commentary

24 - sooo sleepy and lazy but finally went to harkit. Waiting for pak oji to get medicak records, i shopped at sociolla lol. Bought eyebrow pencil, eyeshadow palette, blush since i dont have those (i only have cheap 3 color mizzu eyeshadow). Did some work. Met kiki in RM. "planned" to do the rest of magang work at home and arrivd back at 3-ish pm but we all know thats a lie. Lazed. Maghrib. Bought sbux 1L to have some caffeine through the green tea. Sinau airway class by dr zeta (focused thanks to the caffeine). Had some "awake time" left and did not feel sleepy til 10:30ish pm but i had to sleep since i got 1 more fasting to go 2mrw. No progress on magang work aaaaa

25 - had indomie, boiled egg, banana and protein powder for sahur. magang. emir took a while to pick me up even though i already told him the time im arriving and i ended up ordering grab lmao and he showed up right before the grab. liqo w kak kartika and mahmud while sipping caramel macchiato. did some translation (job by dr triya)

26 - picked up pld medal, gown and buavita (lol) at salemba and then went to harkit. met kiki again. lunch was k-chop. quite good and fulfilling. waiting for mom to pick me up before maghrib. Was lazying around at night and it turns out clara came w kefas. She called but dumb ass me had my phone on silent. She surprised me and came all the wayyy with a little tayo cake and a line friends pillow. I was awkward w kefas bcs im awkward w new people :):):) she went back and then i cried afterwards in my room. Fianti sent me a wish before midnight (somehow havent fell asleep) and then i close my eyes and go to the dream world

27 - had mie goreng for breakfast. fell asleep again. woke to silvi and racheel calling me and as usual my phone was not ringing. there’s racil silvi devi reza outside the door lmao. they (including atikah) surprised me with gift (a bag). i asked them to come with me to gi since im gonna eat w regen. we tried yakiniku like and the meat was juicy and yum, better then kintan. racil dkk ate marugame udon just below. wanted to get banban but it was so crowded. went back by grab. racil and atikah stayed over. talked until like 12 am. forced myself to pray isya. 

28 - talked for hours like we usually do, tried some makeup bcs i need to practice for pld lol. tarik tiga to their place bcs i needed to borrow pld clothes lol. rearranged my room and i was sweating. i should’ve drank macchiato and did some work but i cant bring myself to so i just sleep. hangovers post feeling normal are never the best feeling

29 - woke up super late. cant bring myself to go to harkit. i feel like shit. sick and tired of feeling sick and tired ((quoting jhene aiko)). mustered some will to shower. rode my on bike pretending im going to harkit except im going to mcd. got big breakfast and lemon tea. went to flavola, ordered kopsus coklat and indomie + telor. Went back home after isya. 

30 - Binge watching sean and kaycee’s vids lol it all began with their leave the door open dance :). went to harkit by TJ after the redcap was unaccessible at 09:30ish. lunch was truffle belly chicken mushroom (somehow there’s 50% disc). Took some needed data and went back home at 14:20. did (new) translation for dr Triya. finally drank homemade matcha latte after a while. 

31 - originally intended to go to flavola after zuhur, but i just cant muster the strength. did dr triya’s translation work. didnt do any ecmocard today. felt like shit. ate the tayo small cake from clara. quite good and not too heavy. gladi kotor pld today. did green screen using mukena lol. fell asleep. skipped isya and the next morning’s subuh :( basically i ended march feeling like utter shit lol

[dixie78]

Seahawks Brandon Marshall: Bears 'a dream job for me'

It's no surprise that Brandon Marshall is handling feelings as he goes back to Chicago for the very first time given that the Bears traded him following three primarily turbulent seasons here. A gamer whose video game is practically distinctively sustained by passion, pride and sometimes anger is attempting to make this simply another journey.

"Chicago's an excellent place," the Seahawks broad receiver told Seattle-area press reporters Thursday. "Here [in Seattle], we yap about every game is just another video game. That's something I've purchased in to. In the past, I may have entered into a video game like this and maybe have actually been a little more hyped. However it's just another game."

For the most part, anyhow.

"I still got friends on that group," stated Marshall, who bet the Bears from 2012-14. "Still have a lot of good friends and even our structure [the Brandon Marshall Foundation] is locateded from Chicago. So, a lot of ties to Chicago-- it was a dream job for me. It was unfortunate to go, today I'm here and I'm going to take advantage of the chance."

Brandon Marshall had 10 receptions for 165 lawns for the Bears versus the Seahawks in 2012 at Soldier Field, including a 56-yard catch with nine second left in guideline that established Robbie Gould's connecting 46-yard basket. The Bears lost, 23-17 in overtime.|Curtis Lehmkuhl ~ Sun-Times Media The return of Marshall no doubt will elicit all sorts of emotions from Bears fans. As much as any gamer aside from Jay Cutler, the six-time Pro Bowl pass receiver represents the

hope, aggravation, dysfunction and ultimate dissatisfaction as the Lovie Smith era broke down following the 2006 Super Bowl season. Last impressions are lasting impressions, so Marshall is primarily remembered as part of the Phil Emery blot in current Bears history. However when Marshall, a three-time Pro Bowl receiver in his prime at 28, was gotten in a trade with the Dolphins quickly after Emery changed Jerry Angelo as basic supervisor, it was a masterstroke-- the most accomplished player ever obtained by the Bears prior to the Khalil Mack trade. Where Angelo dismissed the concept the Bears needed a No. 1 broad receiver to spark the Cutler period, Emery made it happen.

And it's often forgotten how well it worked in Marshall's very first season under Lovie Smith in 2012. He set franchise records with 118 receptions and 1,508 yards (12.8 avg.), with 11 goals as the Bears went 10-6, however missed the playoffs. (The Bears' second-leading broad receiver that year, Earl Bennett, had 29 receptions for 375 yards and two touchdowns.)

And, eager to prove himself after showing up in Chicago with a history of off-the-field legal problems and suspensions, Marshall was on his finest behavior-- not coincidentally in his only season playing for Lovie and with Brian Urlacher.

"Brian Urlacher was a person that brought everyone together," Marshall stated. "In some cases you enter into a locker room and there are classes-- men that are paid a lot of cash; Pro Bowl men; scout-team people; people that simply got to the group. Brian and all those people did an excellent job of making everybody feel welcome and like they're just as important as the next person. [I] saw Brian Urlacher taking a seat with Lance Briggs-- that was his man. Then in the next meeting, he was sitting beside a man that simply got there and [ was] treating him the say way."

Though they were on opposite sides of the ball, Urlacher's impact straight affected Marshall during that only season with him.

"I was-- still am-- a really psychological man," Marshall stated. "I keep in mind dropping a ball here and there, doing something that let the group down and he would pull me aside and state something. In the heat of the minute, I might be on the verge of tears, so to speak. He'll come and say, 'Bro, it's just a dropped ball, but we're all. You're getting another one.' He simply had a method with his colleagues, picking guys up and making certain everybody felt consisted of. He's a special person."

After Lovie was fired and Urlacher retired following the 2012 season, Marshall's profession with the Bears took a darker turn under new coach Marc Trestman. He was still productive, however frequently an interruption. Marshall's support of mental-health awareness-- he had been identified with boderline personality disorder in 2011-- was well-meaning however awkwardly handled, especially in one rambling press conference he contacted his own. In 2014, he was flying to New york city on his in-season off day to appear on "Inside the NFL" on Showtime.

He had a post-game, locker-room outburst in which he called out teammates following a loss to the Dolphins that was expected to a straight-talk wake-up call, but backfired. The Bears lost their next two games, 51-23 at New England and 55-14 at Green Bay to all but end the Emery/Trestman era. Later that year he challenged a Lions fan to a fight-- offering $25,000 to "get in the ring with me" in response to the fan ridiculing Marshall and insulting his mom on Twitter.

By then, Marshall had currently played his final video game with the Bears. He was out for the season after suffering two damaged ribs and a collapsed lung. He wastraded to the Jets for a fifth-round draft pick that ended up being Adrian Amos. When the Bears acquired him, it cost them 2 third-round draft picks.

Marshall has always had a difficult time stabilizing his enormous physical skill, his passion and emotions and exactly what it takes to be a great teammate and a winner. He's a six-time Pro Bowl gamer who never has remained in a playoff video game in 12 NFL seasons. He's missed out on by one game 6 times. He's found out some important life lessons, consisting of in Chicago. And he feels he's better off for the experience.

"There's a lot of things I found out there," Marshall stated. "When you're winning, you can do specific things, state specific things. When you're losing, often you got to relax a bit. I never ever did, I just stayed the very same. So, it was a great deal of lessons I discovered there.

"As far as the teammate thing-- people are seeing you each day. How do you respond to when you're hurt? How do you react to criticism? How do you respond to hard training? I needed to figure it out because our locker space type of fell apart [in 2014], degraded, and it started with us, leaders.

"So I just kicked back and shown for those couple of months prior to I went to the Jets, composed all that stuff down, and attempted to carry that stuff with me. Things that I will hold permanently, and I use those things in my parenting now, and with my foundation and business."